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allyear-lff · 9 months

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LFF2023: The list of films

I should have started from the beginning, so to understand this blog read my mission statement back in 2021 when I thought this was a great idea :-D and then feel free to peruse my reviews of the films, all listed below, and from the previous 2 years as well.

I will link to my musings about each film from here as I progress and I hope to refine them as I revisit them in the future, apologies about the silly mistakes, I am writing of the cuff mostly on my free time, away from my job that has nothing to do with film.

Any comments and suggestions can be done to my twitter X account @allyear_lff ( https://twitter.com/allyear_lff ) and I believe comments are open here in Tumblr.

(Full list of films to be added when published)

20,000 Species of Bees

All Dirt Roads Taste of Salt

All of Us Strangers

ALLENSWORTH

Àma Gloria

Animal Kingdom, The

Animalia

Anselm

Apolonia, Apolonia (HBO Max Spain)

Asog

Baltimore

Banel & Adama

Beast, The

Behind the Mountains

Bikeriders, The

Birth/Rebirth

Black Dog

Black Pirate, The

Blackbird Blackbird Blackberry

Bonus Track

Book of Clarence, The

Book of Solutions, The

Boy and the Heron, The (late addition)

Bride, The

Buckingham Murders, The

Bye Bye Tiberias

Catching Fire: The Story of Anita Pallenberg (billed as Anita in brochure)

Celluloid Underground

Chasing Chasing Amy

Chicken Run: Dawn of the Nugget

Close Your Eyes

Cobweb

Common Sequence, A

Copa 71

Croma Kid

Daaaaaali!

Dancing on the Edge of a Volcano

Dancing Queen

Dear Jassi

Deep Sea (3D)

Delinquents, The

Do Not Expect Too Much From the End of the World

Dupes, The

Earth Mama

Echo, The

Eileen

End We Start From, The (Curzon Home from March 2024, BFI Player)

Eternal Memory, The (BBC iPlayer, available at least until Feb 2025)

Europa

Everything Worthwhile Is Done with Other People

Evil Does Not Exist

Fallen Leaves

Fancy Dance

Fingernails

Fire Through Dry Grass

Foe

Foremost by Night

Four Daughters

Gasoline Rainbow

Gassed Up

Girl

Going To Mars: The Nikki Giovanni Project

Goldman Case, The

Goodbye Julia

Gush

Haar

High & Low - John Galliano

Hit Man

Hoard

Holdovers, The

Housekeeping for Beginners

How to Have Sex (Curzon Home)

Hypnosis, The

I am Sirat

If Only I Could Hibernate

Indésirables, Les

Inshallah a Boy

Inside the Yellow Cocoon Shell

In Camera

In Restless Dreams: The Music of Paul Simon

It can’t be that nothing that can be returned

Kensuke’s Kingdom

Kidnapped (UK: Curzon Home Cinema)

Killer, The

Killers of the Flower Moon

Kitchen, The

Klezmer Project, The

Last Summer

Late Night With the Devil

Little Girl Blue

Lost Boys, The (Curzon Home)

Lost in the Night

Lubo

Macario

Maestro

Mambar Pierrette

Mangosteen

May December

Memory

Menu-Plaisirs Les Troisgros

Mission, The

Molli and Max in the Future

Monster

Music

Nature of Love, The

New Boy, The

Nightwatch – Demons Are Forever

NYAD (Netflix)

Occupied City

Omen

On the Adamant

One Life

Only the River Flows

Our Body

Paradise Is Burning

Peasants, The

Peeping Tom

Penal Cordillera

Perfect Days (late addition)

Pigeon Tunnel, The

Poolman

Poor Things

Pot au Feu, The

Power Alley

Practice, The

Pressure

Prince, A

Priscilla

Queen of My Dreams, The

Queendom

Ramona

Red Island (Curzon Home Cinema)

Red Rooms

Robot Dreams

Room in a Crowd

Royal Hotel, The

Rye Horn, The

Ryuichi Sakamoto | Opus

Sacred Cave, The

Saltburn

Samsara (Curzon Home)

SCALA!!! (BFI Player)

Self-Portrait: 47 KM 2020

Settlers, The (MUBI)

Shame On Dry Land

Shayda

Shortcomings

Shoshana

Silver Haze

Sky Peals

Slow

Spectre of Boko Haram, The

Starve Acre

Stolen

Stopmotion

Stranger and the Fog, The

Surprise film: Ferrari

Swan Song

Sweet East, The

Taste of Mango, The

Terrestrial Verses

That They May Face the Rising Sun

They Shot the Piano Player

This Is Going to Be Big

Tiger Stripes

Together 99

Tótem (Curzon Home from January 2024)

Tuesday

Unicorns (late addition)

Unmoored

Vincent Must Die

Wilding

You Can Call me Bill

Youth (Spring)

Zone of Interest, The

#lff2023 #lff

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lemonhemlock · 1 year

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I guess it’s more I didn’t see the need to preemptively talk negatively about a very unconfirmed casting decision. I agree she’s younger than what I’d like to see for Alys, but I don not think that was the issue when these same groups of fans fancast JBF and Phoebe Tonkin. Idk if Helaemonds are talking about this, there was more noise on that side about the cheese casting. Iirc there was some pushback about the content of Emily’s audition (which is obviously only an audition and not the final script) and some comments about her appearance, the same as people do to this actress. I just don’t see the point when these fans are the ones saying how fans of other Aemond ships will come after whoever is cast as Alys

well, idk, i would be weary as a general rule to associate any kind of negative talk with this expectation of real life flaming or attacking the actress on social media. i mean, everyone is allowed their likes and dislikes in media, surely? not liking certain actors and preferring others is not a crime and shouldn't be policed either. i'm sure everyone has actors they just don't like for whatever reason, including silly stuff like not liking their mannerisms or how they enunciate the letter T.

idk, i just don't want us to get into that ridiculous space in which people are not allowed to dislike anything about alys' portrayal on screen, it would veer too much into black-mirror zone. like people are looking for any pretext, no matter how flimsy, to flame helaemonds some more. as in - this user happens to not vibe with the actress they chose? definitely must mean they're a crazy hater who's gonna make her life miserable by engaging in online harassment. that shouldn't be people's first reaction or assumption, is what i'm trying to say

this is not to justify people who develop weird fixations because show!alys doesn't live up to the fanon version they already built in their heads. it's simply to point out that the conversation Q: "would you like to see X in the role of alys?"; A: "no" is pretty middle-of-the-road and normal and completely different from (as a recent example) that situation with the blonde girl (grace?) from stranger things.

i confess this is the first time i've seen this lady in my life and i did not have the time to perform a market research on helaemond nation to determine the vibes on her, as i've had a long day at work today + champions league night. so idk how they reacted to her. so far on tumblr i've seen absolutely nothing. as far as emily is concerned, i've had anons inform me at the time that some people were really not happy with her, but they identified those users as alysmonds. the reason given to me was that she was too OLD (a 38 yo woman, mind you). what i wanted to say and, perhaps should have clarified, is that i personally haven't seen with my own two eyes anything bad on any potential alys actress from the few (maybe 5?) helaemond accounts i sometimes check on twitter. we are a micronation anyway so if there are nasty helaemonds out there, i do not encourage that, but i do have to ask how many users are we talking about anyway for this to be a real problem? since there's few of us already. i rarely see helaemond content on my own timeline even though i've advertised myself like crazy, i still can't seem to find many citizens to follow. let alone crazy helaemond rants going off the rails

also, like, i feel that i have to point out that i have no idea re: the shipping preferences of the accounts you showed me, i inferred they were helaemonds from how you approached the topic

Anonymous asked: I feel bad, I don’t mean to be arguing in your ask! Please feel free to delete if inclined. Sometimes the vibes get to me 😭 But no excuse.

i assume this is from the same anon, so my answer is don't worry about it. people rant to me about all kinds of stuff like you wouldn't believe :))

also we beat chelsea 2-0 so all's well when it ends well 😃

#ask #anon #shipping wars #just so i can keep track don't get it twisted #anti alysmond #riverdragon

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hellkerbecs · 2 years

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hi i’m peggy :)

i’m a 2012 tumblr veteran that has mostly moved to twitter besides my aesthetic blogs and a certain joke blog that got massive for a moment last year. i miss having a bit of a silly zone here so while i don’t think i’ll use this sideblog that often i’ll leave it here incase i wanna shitpost or anybody wants to actually talk to me

my interests change a lot due to adhd but i like anime for kids, if we wanna get more specific hobbyani and magical girls. the ones i like a lot right now are precure, primagi, beyblade (metal fight + burst + x), b-daman (super + crossfight + currently watching battle) + bottleman, duel masters (charge + joe era + win), shadowverse flame, and (regretfully) fnaf. you can see everything i watch on my anilist.

also the certain joke blog may or may not have been me roleplaying a certain chocolate bar. my bestie @emergencychange can confirm. you can ask me about that if you want to.

this is a sideblog. i follow from @dreamyriot

that’s the end of my little pinned post

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hyuniepot · 3 years

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the butterfly effect. || chapter one

chapter word count || 3,214

genre || thriller, angst, drama

members || mark lee, na jaemin, lee jeno, huang renjun, lee donghyuck, zhong chenle, park jisung

warnings || mentions of death, implications of depression

pairing || fem!reader x jaemin || slight fem!reader x mark

synopsis || you never thought you’d be able to play with fate so easily, especially not through some shady app. but you suddenly must say goodbye to what you know and hello to a new world where everything seems perfect.

a/n || reposting this chapter because tumblr made it glitch out for some reason ;-; praying everything works out this time!! as always, send me a message or an ask to be added to the taglist.

You used to be scared of butterflies.

Yes, the thought of it is silly, but you were. You didn’t like bugs at all, the pretty ones included. The thought of them crawling on your skin made you ill. But there was one thing you loved, and that was your friend, Mark. And unlike you, Mark loved butterflies. So when he asked you to go to a butterfly exhibit with him, you sucked it up and said yes.

And you realized that day that butterflies were beautiful. They were harmless, and you giggled as they landed on you, excitedly showing Mark as you conquered your fear of them. Mark helped you conquer a lot of your fears.

And ever since he left, you felt more fearful than ever. Losing him made you realize how fragile life really was, and you hated it. You hated feeling like everything was on the verge of being lost.

“You good?” you jump at the sound of Jaemin’s voice in your ear. You blink, realizing you had completely zoned out. You were sitting next to him on the bus to school. You quickly glance out the window once more. The butterfly you had been admiring was gone.

You nod. “I’m okay. Just tired.” you respond.

Jaemin grins and grabs onto your hand. “Okay. Just checking in.” he says softly. “Um, we’re all gonna get food after school if you wanna come. It’s just a really nice day, it’d be a shame not to go out in it, you know?”

Truth be told, you had been feeling weird lately, and going out with your friends (or, to be more accurate — your boyfriend and his friends that you were friends with by association) was probably what you needed. “That sounds nice.”

The bus had arrived at school. Jaemin stands and picks up his bag, letting you out in front of him. You exit the bus and you’re met with the warm air enveloping you, the sun hitting your eyes and making you squint. Jaemin exits the bus as well, his frame blocking the sun from blinding you. He puts his arm around you, and you grab onto his hand out of instinct.

“Hey guys, got room for more?” you feel another arm around your shoulder.

“Hyuck, no. You’re gross.” Jaemin groans, rolling his eyes.

Hyuck gasps dramatically. “That’s mean. You didn’t even consult with your girlfriend first.”

You smile. “Sorry, Hyuck. But I’m only interested in Jaemin.” you tell him.

Hyuck removes his arm from your shoulder and crosses his arms. “What a low blow…” he mutters. Hyuck was your childhood friend. He grew up with you and Mark. He was like a happy virus, and you weren’t sure if you would have survived losing Mark if he hadn’t been there for you.

You giggle. “Sorry to break your heart.”

“You’d think after months of being rejected he’d give up, but he’s a trooper.” Jaemin adds.

Hyuck rolls his eyes this time. “It’s only because you guys are gross and kissy-kissy in public. We’re in school,” he says, moving away from his spot next to you. He puts himself in between you and Jaemin. “Leave room for Jesus.”

“Oh my god, Hyuck,” you laugh. “You are so annoying. You’re lucky you’re my best friend.” you tell him.

Hyuck grins and sticks out his tongue, turning down a hallway as you guys pass it. “You’re damn right you’re lucky,” he calls. “I’ll see you guys later!”

Jaemin shakes his head, laughing. “He’s such a weirdo. Love him, though.”

You reach your locker and lean against it. “He is. You learn how to deal with him after so long. I’ll meet you outside the entrance doors after school. Do you guys know where you’re going to eat?”

Jaemin leans up against the locker next to yours. “Nah, not yet. We’ll figure it out before the day ends.” he tells you. “You have a good day, alright?” he pecks your cheek.

You smile. “I will.” Jaemin gives you one last grin before turning and continuing down the hallway.

[12:39 p.m.]

“What kind of weird shit do you read at night?” Naeun asks, scowling at Jiwoo.

“It’s not weird!” Jiwoo cries, turning her phone screen towards the dark-haired girl. “There’s real proof!”

“What are you guys talking about?” you ask, taking a seat next to Naeun.

“Apparently there’s an app that can change your fate,” Sungyeon speaks up, holding back a laugh. “Jiwoo found it.”

Jiwoo turns her attention towards you. “See! You’ll believe me, right?” she turns her phone to you.

You furrow your brows and decide not to answer her question. You read the article she had pulled up.

According to the 13-year-old who downloaded the app, ButterFly, his wish came true a mere 3 hours after sending it into the ButterFly HQ. The young boy wished for his cat to come back to life, who had been dead for nearly a month. A few hours later, a cat showed up at the boy’s window. It was identical to the one the boy had.

ButterFly, a self-proclaimed life changing app has been growing in popularity as people hope to change their past. But the real question is, does this app really change a life or is it simply coincidence?

“Jiwoo…” you say softly.

“Come on,” she whines. “I can’t be the only one who thinks it could actually be real!”

“I’m afraid you are.” Sungyeon tells her, taking a bite of her food. “It’s just a coincidence. The only success story they have is something so… normal.”

“If they want to impress me, they have to come up with something way more exciting than a kid finding his cat.” Naeun says.

Jiwoo pouts, turning off her phone. “But… it’d just be so cool if it was real.”

“I agree, but an app should never be trusted for something like that. Plus, if an app had the powers to change the trajectory of someone’s life, wouldn’t the butterfly effect happen?” you asked.

“She’s right,” Naeun says. “Fate is not something to play around with.”

Dejected, Jiwoo surrenders and turns her attention back to finishing her lunch.

“What is that again?” Sungyeon asks. “The butterfly effect?”

“The idea that even tiny changes can make huge and unexpected changes,” you explain. “Like a butterfly flapping its wings can cause a typhoon.”

“Hmm,” Sungyeon hums. “That’s interesting.”

“Yeah, like if Jiwoo was born as a boy, maybe she’d be dating you and you’d be a millionaire for some reason.” Naeun takes a drink from her water bottle.

“What?” Sungyeon cringes.

“Hey, what’s that face for?” Jiwoo cries. “I think I’d be a cute boy.”

You laugh and shake your head as your friends continue to playfully banter about who would be the cutest boy in a parallel universe.

[3:30 p.m.]

You stand by the entrance doors, rocking back and forth on your heels. You try not to look too awkward as you wait for Jaemin and his friends. You wave to Naeun as she leaves, and are relieved when Jaemin appears a few moments later. He immediately spots you and makes his way to you, smiling. His friends, Jeno and Renjun walk behind him with Hyuck, loudly talking about something.

“Hi,” Jaemin says. “Did you have a good day?”

You grin. “It was fine. How about you?” you start walking away from school, taking hold of his hand.

“It was good. I have some annoying homework, but…” he trails off.

Renjun suddenly runs past you, turning around with a disgusted look on his face. “Hyuck, for the last time, I will not hold your hand!”

You turn your head to see a pouty Hyuck. “I just wanted to fit in!”

You laugh and roll your eyes, turning your head back towards the sidewalk in front of you. You all make your way to a nearby restaurant. You sat next to Jaemin in a booth and Jeno, Renjun, and Hyuck all squeezed into the one across from you. You all ordered drinks.

“Oh, Jaemin,” Jeno says, picking his bag up from the floor. He pulls out a notebook and hands it to Jaemin. “Thanks for your notes.”

Jaemin nods. “No problem.”

“Jeno,” Renjun says, shaking his head. “You’re never gonna learn if you keep copying Jaemin’s notes.”

Jeno shrugs. “It’s not like I do it all the time,” he says, defending himself.

“You borrow my notes, too, though… so Renjun kinda has a point.” Hyuck says, leaning back as the waitress sets his drink down in front of him.

You pull out your phone as the boys argue yet again just to see what was happening on your social media. It was mostly random tweets and posts from people you knew, but there was something that caught your eye. It was a promoted post from ButterFly. It had no likes or anything, despite being promoted to your Twitter timeline. And it wasn’t just one. After a few scrolls, you saw another ad from the app, just with a different caption. You saw another one before shaking your head and exiting the app. You opened Instagram, just to be met with the same ad.

Don’t be afraid. Having the chance to change your fate is much more fun than you think.

The caption sent chills down your spine. It didn’t sound like something that should be promoted. You clicked the link the ad provided, but it simply took you to the app store. Your curiosity was getting the best of you. You wanted to download the app, but something was holding you back.

Jaemin nudged your shoulder, making you jump.

“Huh?” you ask. Everyone’s eyes were on you.

“Do you want something to eat?” Jaemin asked.

“Oh,” you look at the waitress next to the table, notebook and pen in hand. “I’m okay.” you reply.

The waitress nods before turning around and entering the kitchen. You stand up from your seat at the booth. “I need to go to the bathroom.” You shoved your phone into a pocket on your bookbag and rushed to the bathroom.

You shut the door behind you, walking to the sink. You looked at yourself. You looked tired, disheveled. You couldn’t get rid of the feeling you had felt since waking up. You could barely even describe it. It almost felt like dread, but it was more of an unexplainable sadness. Not even being with your friends seemed to help it. You turned on the water, splashing your cheeks with cold water. How had you been so enchanted by the ads of that app that you had become completely oblivious to what was going on around you?

You dried your face before you heard a small knock on the door. “Hey, are you okay?” You opened the door and saw Jaemin. His eyebrows were furrowed in concern.

You forced a smile and nodded. “Yeah, sorry…” you say, stepping out of the bathroom.

“You’ve been acting… strange today. No offense,” Jaemin says.

“None taken,” you sigh. “I know I have. Everything just feels off today, I don’t know why.” You tell him.

Jaemin puts his arm around you and you both begin walking back to the table the others were at. “It’s okay to feel that way… I think everyone does. It just sucks to watch you feel so sad.” Jaemin says. He sighs. “I really hope you start feeling better soon. I miss hearing your laugh.”

You smile. “I miss it too,” you say, reaching the table. Jaemin scoots into the booth and you follow after. You try to ignore the horrible feeling in the pit of your stomach and have a good afternoon with your friends. You ended up starting to feel better. You stole some of Hyuck’s food after panicking and not ordering some of your own. You laughed at everyone’s jokes and dumb arguments, and before you knew it, an hour had passed. You all decided to stop being a bother and leave. You waited outside as everyone paid; Jaemin offered to pay for you since all you got was a drink.

“Are you heading home?” Jeno asked Jaemin.

He nodded. “I’m gonna walk this one home and then head home myself,” he said, resting his head on yours.

Jeno nodded. “I’ll see you tomorrow, then.”

Renjun and Hyuck also waved goodbye. They were all going to Jeno’s. You went your separate ways, and as much as you loved them, you were glad to be alone with Jaemin. Your house wasn’t too far, but even if it was just a few minutes, you were glad to be with him.

“Are you just gonna go home and do homework?” you ask.

Jaemin nods. “Yeah… it’s probably gonna take some time.”

“Sorry baby,” you say. “I’ll facetime you once my mom gets home,” you tell him.

Your mother worked late, so you were in charge of looking after your younger brother, Jisung, until she got home. He was only 2 years younger than you, so it’s not like it was hard, but you still felt obligated to keep tabs on him.

“You don’t have to,” he says. You both walked through your driveway and to the front door. “But if you want to, however… I would love it if you did.” he grins as you open your door.

“Well, then expect a call later,” you say, grabbing both of his hands.

Jaemin leans in and kisses you, and for a second, it feels like everything is okay.

“Gross!” a voice yells. You jump away from Jaemin and turn around.

“Jisung, your sister and her boyfriend are smashing their faces together again!” Chenle, who was standing in the kitchen, yells. Jisung’s pokes his head around the corner.

“Shut up, Chenle.” you say, grinning. “You’re not a child, kissing isn’t that weird.”

You step inside, taking off your shoes and setting your bag down. Jaemin steps in behind you and walks to the kitchen, putting Chenle in a headlock. “You little jerk,” Jaemin teases.

Chenle giggles, trying to get out of Jaemin’s arms. You walk to the living room where Jisung had gone, continuing his video game. “How was your day?” you ask.

“Good.” Jisung says, eyes still glued to the TV.

“That’s good,” you look back to the kitchen and see that Jaemin has released Chenle, and is now talking to him. “Do you have homework?”

Jisung nods. You watch the TV, and watch his character die. Jisung sighs and sets the controller down, turning to you. “Yeah.”

“Okay. Can you try and get it done before Mom gets home?” you ask.

Jisung nods. “Yeah… Chenle and I have the same homework so we can do it together, I guess.”

You nod and go back to the kitchen. Talking to Jisung sometimes felt like talking to a brick wall. “I better get going.” Jaemin says. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

You walk him to the door. “I’ll see you.” you grab both of his hands again, never wanting to let go. Jaemin kisses your cheek and turns.

You bite your lip. Why was this horrible feeling back so suddenly? “Hey, Jaemin?” you call after him. He turns back around.

“I love you.” you say, almost too softly. For a second you weren’t even sure if he heard you, but he gives you that classic smile, the one that made you fall in love with him in the first place.

“I love you too.” he blows you a kiss before walking away.

[9:41 p.m.]

You sat down on your bed, freshly out of the shower. Since Jaemin had left, you helped Jisung and Chenle with their homework, did your own homework, and facetimed Jaemin for a bit while he did his. And then you took a long shower in an attempt to clear your head.

You look around for your phone, finding it hidden in a blanket on your bed. You answer some unread texts and then open Instagram again. You’re met with the same ads from before. Your heart drops.

Without thinking you click the link again, pressing download. It downloaded in no time. Your thumb hovers over the icon of the app. The moment you muster up the courage to click on it, there’s a knock at your bedroom door.

You jump, startled, but get up and open it.

Your mother’s exhausted face greets you. “Hi sweetie. I’m going straight to bed, so… goodnight. I hope you had a good day.”

You smile, shakily exhaling. “Today was fine. Goodnight.” you say, not wanting to delay her sleep anymore.

She gives you a warm smile before going to her room. Before you close your door, Jisung appears from the staircase nearby. “You going to bed?” he asks.

“Uh,” you open your phone, looking at the time.

ButterFlyHQ

Greetings. What is your name?

You ignore the notification. “No… but I’ll probably be in my room for the rest of the night.”

“Oh, okay… well… goodnight then.” he says, going to his room which was right across from yours. He closes the door without another word.

You press your lips together and shut your door as well, laying down on your bed. You opened your phone and clicked on ButterFly.

1 Unread Message

ButterFlyHQ

Greetings. What is your name?

You hesitantly enter your name. You regret it as soon as you responded — maybe you should’ve used a fake name.

ButterFlyHQ

Hello, (y/n).

What do you wish to change?

Wow, straight to the point… You think.

You wonder what you should enter. You try to think of the most outrageous thing you could think of, something completely unimaginable. Something that would surely trigger the Butterfly Effect.

There were things you actually wanted to change.

You wanted your mother to stop being so stressed.

You wanted Jisung to be happy.

You wanted to stop feeling so insecure about you and Jaemin’s relationship.

You wanted Jiwoo to finally pass trigonometry.

Okay, the last one was a bit dumb, and actually imaginable. And then you thought of the most impossible thing.

You

I want my best friend to come back to life.

You almost laugh as you sent the message. But your faint smile fades at the immediate response.

ButterFlyHQ

What is your best friend’s name?

This was suddenly feeling too personal.

You

Mark Lee.

ButterFlyHQ

Understood. We will try our best to meet your request.

You stare at your phone. Now what? You turned your phone off and set it on your nightstand, plugging it into the charger before laying down and staring at the ceiling.

Great, now some random stranger knows some girl thinks an app can bring her friend back from the grave.

When you got the chance, you were gonna chew Jiwoo out for bringing that app up. You get under the covers and close your eyes, trying to sleep. But your mind was racing. You finally feel yourself drifting, your mind finally giving you some peace.

Your last thought before you finally fall asleep is Jaemin. You just wanted to be with him again, his arm around your shoulder, his fingers lazily intertwined with yours. You felt yourself smiling before finally falling asleep, unknowingly saying goodbye to your last normal day.

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revengerevisited · 3 years

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i found this vanqua fic the other day, it’s only a couple chapters but i like it so far. :3 it does have a ‘creator chose not to add warnings’ label though, so please be cautious. also baby-xemnas aka kotbysleep (nsfw) aka nekokat42 (also nsfw) is a much better vanqua artist than me so please check him out. X’D (heads-up those twitter threads are way longer than you think so make sure you see eeeverything~).

anyway, more wip art below the cut, plus my endless rambling (i talk about 18+ topics, just a warning)—

i’m still working on venqua week and i’ve got 2 more prompts to go, one i haven’t started yet and one i’m halfway done with—

~aaand yeah i’m re-using it for a vanqua pic too... X’D am i lazy, or just resourceful? you decide. ;P

but yeah, both of these pics will have an 18+ version as well. i admit i’m super anxious about posting it next week, as i’ve seen just how absolutely toxic fandom is on twitter. like, you thought tumblr was bad? i’ve spent the last few days preemptively blocking literally hundreds if not thousands of antis just so i can feel a little safer posting my content without some asshat calling me a pedo or telling me to kill myself over cartoons. XU i somewhat worry that i’ve accidentally blocked some people who were just joking around and weren’t actually harassing anyone, but it’s just so hard to tell sometimes. if i’ve accidentally blocked anybody here, just let me know so i can unblock you. :3 (idk why that sentence came out so sinister sounding but i’m legit being sincere X’D).

but seriously, idk when fandom suddenly got such a stick up its ass (around 2016-17 from my guesstimate) and decided aging-up a fictional character by a year or two is such a crime, but i guess that’s just the state of things. :T i could draw vanitas as a centaur or make him blond or whatever and no one cares, but aging him by one year? suddenly big problem! yeah, right. XP like, i know i said every character in kh is 17+ as of khmom (ignoring any weird timeline retcons of course), but heck i could make an honest case for the wayfinder family all being adults. hear me out—

it’s been 13 years since bbs, right? and for 12 of those years, aqua was in the realm of darkness, terra had some awareness while being possessed by xehanort, ven experienced some of sora’s life when he was in a coma, and vanitas was almost certainly in ven/sora’s heart as well, so all four of them could be said to be 31, 33, and 29 respectively. it’s not like their character models were any different when they were young teens as opposed to older teens, so can we really be sure they’re not all 30~ by now? heck, since ven is from the age of fairytales i could say he’s 1000 years old if i wanted too! (psst, it’s almost as if these are all fictional characters living in a fantasy world with time travel and whatnot and their ages are completely arbitrary numbers nomura made up on the spot, numbers which he has retconned before! :P).

now i don’t actually think they’re that old, but if people are gonna hassle me over a goddamn 2-year age difference, i might as well say fuck it and have fun with it, right? ;P it’s not like antis even know what the canon character ages even actually are, like when they try to say that skuld is underage when (assuming she’s subject x) she’d be around 28~ by now, or axel and saïx’s age. (maybe i’ll draw some saïx x skuld art and watch the antis lose their minds. ;P it wouldn’t even have to be nsfw to rile them up).

anyway, i do admit i’m feeling a little burned out on art recently. XP i’ve been trying to get one art piece out per week plus venqua week, and yeah it’s kinda taken its toll. i know this really isn’t anything anyone wants to hear, but i’ve been kinda thinking of moving away from fandom projects to work on my own original work. now, i’m not saying i’m abandoning a heart and a half nor anything as drastic as that! but i have spent like 2 years of my life on it just to get to the halfway mark, and i’m not sure i can spend 2 more doing only that.

i’ve got an original story idea that i’ve been working on-and-off on for the past 7 years or so, and i’m thinking of going back to it again (it does need a pretty big re-write). its main pairing is actually pretty vanqua-ish, now that i think about it. like, imagine the realm of darkness but instead of the heartless it’s infested with demons, and the main characters are the demon-slaying duo of a serious yet kindhearted half-angel and a feral, snarky half-demon. i even aged them up from 14 to 18 so none of my potential fans have to suffer the same anti bullshit that i have. XP

what else can i ramble about... oh, i got these super cute pins for christmas! :D the heartless is by xkirakira, and vanitas and aqua are by maxxmerch. they’re just so cute! X3 i hope everyone had a merry christmas and a happy holiday! i’ll see you guys later. ^3^

*looks around sheepishly* ó3ò alright... confession time. spoilers for a heart and a half for the rest of this post—

sooo~ i’ve kinda hinted at this before, but yeah i’ve always planned on adding a sex scene to a heart and a half; when i started writing back in 2018 i hadn’t realized how hostile fandom had become compared to only a few years ago, and it worries me that some readers might drop the fic because of it, or be angry with me over the underage aspect. :(

idk, i could go on about how i just wanted to explore every aspect of a romantic relationship, or how other disney/square enix characters married or had kids young (ariel, sarah hawkins, héctor, claudia strife, possibly jasmine), or how attempting to apply real-world rules to a videogame fantasy setting is inherently silly and pointless, but really it’s just ‘cause i love vanitas and aqua to bits and i just wanted to write a cute and funny mild sex scene between them (this fic is rated mature, not explicit, so much less graphic than confection affection), and at the end of the day they are just fictional characters, after all.

i guess all i can hope for is that i’m a skilled enough writer to pull it off in a believable way, and that my audience won’t be too put off by it. >_> i know vanitas and aqua have technically only known each other for about 2 months so it might not be ‘realistic’ for them to go so far into a relationship so soon, but i think it’s important to remember that ultimately this is a romantic fairytale, and other canon disney couples haven’t seen nearly as deeply into each other’s hearts as vanitas and aqua have (and this video also helped me feel better about it).

i also wanted to finish that nsfw venqua fic i started a few months back, it’s set just before the mark of mastery so yes ven would be 16. i suppose it’s a way of testing the waters to see what kind of reception i’d get (hopefully positive) before i get to that part of a heart and a half. i was also thinking of including some of the uh, ‘keyblades as erogenous zones’ aspect from this terraquaven fic as well... w-why are you looking at me like that?! it’s funny! *sweats nervously* o3o’

in all honesty, i’m probably just overthinking all this (which, knowing me, is almost a guarantee >_<) and i should just *ahem* let my heart be my guiding key, and just write what i want to write without worrying about it all the time. i just get so anxious so easily... buuut that’s not really news to anyone, now is it? ;P well, i think that’s the end of my endless ramble, thanks for reading if you got this far. X’D and i really hope i didn’t actually upset anybody about a heart and a half. ;_; i just felt like i needed to vent a little, but don’t worry about me, i’m doing fine. anyway, i really should stop typing and get back to work on venqua week, sooo... bye! X3

#wip #rambles #rant #tagging just in case

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theycallmebeccawrites · 5 years

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Adventures in Parenting: Short - We Are the Champions

With Tumblr holding my original writing blog @beccaheartschrisevans captive (aka flagged as explicit), I have made a secondary writing blog and may end up closing the other all together. In the meantime, I am reposting all of my stories on my new blog.

Pairing: Chris Evans x Nikki Evans (OFC)

Rating: PG

Warnings: n/a

Summary: Chris, Nikki and Josh celebrate the Patriots’ Super Bowl win.

Disclaimer: This work of fiction is not to be reposted, used or translated without my permission.

Chris & Nikki One Shots & Shorts Masterlist | Chris & Nikki Masterlist

We Are the Champions

February 5, 2017

It all happened in slow motion, or so it seemed. The ball was hiked, tossed to James White who then fought his way into the end zone.

Chris held his breath as he waited for the referee to confirm the touchdown. As soon as the signal went up, joy surged through Chris's body. He leapt into the air in celebration and damn near cried out of happiness.

"WE WON!" his brother-in-law, and best friend, Mikey shouted as he grabbed Chris's from behind and shook him. "WE WON!!!!"

"WE WON!" a little voice at their feet mimicked them.

Chuckling, Chris looked down at his three and a half year old son who was doing his best touchdown dance. Reaching, Chris picked Josh up and did a little touchdown dance of his own, making his son giggle.

"Daddy, you're so silly," Josh grinned as he patted Chris's face.

"You're both silly," Nikki commented.

Chris smiled at his wife then leaned over and gave her a quick kiss. Then he placed her hand on the baby bump that was obvious under her Edelman shirt.

"How are you feeling?" he asked her.

"Tired, but otherwise fine," she replied. "You're on daddy duty tonight, just so you know." She nodded her head to their toddler. "He didn't sleep at all. Too much going on around him."

"Daddy," Josh interrupted. "I want to go see Brady. Down there." He pointed to the field, making his parents laugh. "What?"

"The only place you're going, kiddo, is to bed," Chris told his son.

"I don't like that idea," Josh replied. "I want to party with Brady."

"You and your dad both," Mikey's wife Dana teased.

Chris ignored his best friend's wife and said, "How about we go back to the hotel and have ice cream."

Josh's eyes grew wide and he leaned closer, as if not wanting his mom to overhear, and asked, "With M&M's, too."

"I think that can be arranged," Chris chuckled.

Nikki shook her head as she smiled.

A short while later, she, Chris and Josh sat on the couch in their hotel room. They were still fully decked out in their Patriots' gear and eating ice cream: Chris was eating mint chocolate chip, Josh was eating vanilla with M&M's on top and Nikki was eating pistachio. They were watching as Patriot players were interviewed and Josh started jumping up and down on the couch when Tom Brady was introduced.

Nikki shot a look at Chris and he grinned back innocently. Shaking her head, Nikki placed her hand on her baby bump and whispered, "Please be a little girl."

Want to find me off tumblr? I’m @beccatheycallme on twitter. I also post my stories on AO3.

My tag list is always open, just let me know if you’d like to be added!

#chris evans #theycallmebecca #beccaheartschrisevans #theycallmebeccawrites #chris evans fanfic #chris evans fanfiction #chris evans fan fiction #adventures in parenting #chris and nikki #chris evans x ofc #chris evans as a dad #chris evans x original female character

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maria-the-ghoul · 6 years

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I AM ME – A self-love type challenge

Let’s be real, 2017 wasn’t all the great for various reason for various people. It was just a bad year. 2018 is just around the corner and you know what? Let’s leave the negativity and grossness of 2017 behind. 2018 starts on a Monday. Monday’s have a bad reputation (which I thinks is crap but that’s a rant for another time), however not this Monday or any Monday in 2018.

2018 will be year of learning who YOU are. LOVING THIS PERSON and GROWING and BLOSSOMING into people who will make the world a better place.

I AM ME 2018 is a month long challenge about learning who you are, and focusing more on connecting with the positive vibes that surround you.

I’m not going to lie, some days you are gonna read the challenge for the day and say to yourself “Really Maria?! You want me to do that? That’s silly!” and that’s the point. Some days will be silly and other days will be hard. In my years on tumblr, I’ve tried various self-love type challenges where it was super deep from the start and it made me feel bad for not wanting to go deep right away (that’s what she said), so I would always quit the challenge early on.

My thoughts on this challenge are to have those deep introspective days but also those fun days to help you smile along the way. I’m all about embracing the little things to help connect with those good vibes. Small good things can make the path to feeling better easier to tackle. I will work on a post about what I believe to be self love and the connection with good vibes/the world.

How will the posts/challenges be set up?

I will schedule the posts so they automatically post at about 8am my time. I’m in Japan and I will have a time zone converter up, so everyone can see the times they will be posted in your own time zone. I might adjust the time on my side, but I will let ya’ll know.

The first thing you will notice is there will be a “Morning Affirmation/intention” this is just something I would like you think about during the day (I have no way of knowing if you do or not). It won’t be too deep just something like “Hey! You got up today, give yourself a high five!”

Next will come the actual challenge portion. This will be your focus. Like I said, some days will be silly and other days will not.

In closing will be another “Evening affirmation/intention”. These are just my way of providing you with extra good vibes to catch on to. :)

So basically: Morning Affirmation/intention

THE CHALLENGE!

Evening Affirmation/intention

Ok, but what are the rules?!

It’s pretty simple, do the challenges. You don’t really have to do them in order if you don’t have enough spoons or mental gas to do them that day. Everyone does have a special ticket they can ‘cash in’ though!

Special ticket you say?!

Yes, a special ticket. This right here:

If you need some days off you can ‘cash in’ this ticket and it’ll let me know you are a little break. I’m keeping track of everyone’s posts and if I don’t hear from someone for 2 days in a row (without notice), I will be doing my best to try and contract that person to see if they are doing ok. I care about all of you guys and I want to make sure you guys are doing well during this time.

But how do we contact you, Maria?!

EASY! You can find me on the following:

Tumblr (please note that I’m on tumblr mobile like 90% of the time and notifications are wonky) Twitter --- @_MrsMaria_ Snapchat --- Glitteredcoffee

Uhhhh I think that’s it. Let me know if you have any questions....?

INCOMING TAG PARRRTTYYY!

@evolutionofacosfitter @boo-badger @rarestsparkle @filled-with-a-kind-wildness @sternenblumen @slytherinselflove @thetimewe @fitgirl-notskinny @chronicallyeducated @runnnersandheels @helloglutesgoodbyegluten @changing-from-hopper-to-hellboy @wanderingbrave @james-x-fitari @nibsthefitmermaid @teenytinythighs @weighting4me @arrogers2

All right, that should be everyone who liked/reblogged the last post. If you see someone who isn’t tagged let them know :)

#iamme2018 #oh god #i hope people like this #and find this interesting #newbie challenge host

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