#turns out it's not writing i lost interest in

[ellecdc]

Hiii :) I saw your requests tips and saw that you didn't write for dub/non con and I don't know if this count as one so just feel free to not respond!

So reader is in a relationship with the Marauders and is starting to randomly think about a past SA and realise this was SA only now bc her brain has been blocking the memory and information. She tells the boys (and maybe Barty idk) about it after sometime of overthinking it and self blaming so it's just like super fluff at the end <3

(it's my personal experience but if you don't feel comfortable writing about it just feel free to ignore it :). Sorry for the bad orthograph english isn't my first language 🫶🏻)

first of all - your English is fucking fantastic (and you know more words than I do - I had to look up what an orthograph was) secondly, I turned this into more of a conversation between reader and her ship. and for plot purposes this became poly!wolfstar - hope that's okay!

poly!wolfstar x fem!reader who opens up about past SA

CW: discusses themes of sexual consent, inebriation, and SA. Describes past SA and abusive relationships. Describes drunkeness, alcohol, and drinking. viewer discretion is advised.

You could tell it was taking Sirius a lot of effort to appear to be too fussed over Lily, James, and Regulus at the end of the party, but he pretended to gag every time anything even remotely romantic or sexual was brought up about his brother.

“What do you think happens when they go home, Pads?” Remus muttered quietly, causing Sirius to slap his hands against his ears.

“Would you shut up, Moons? I am not interested in hearing about my brother’s sexual habits, thank you.”

Unfortunately for Sirius, Lily didn’t get the memo. 

“Are we le-leaving!?” She shrieked through a hiccup as James held most of her weight up against his side and Regulus gathered her purse and shoes she’d since lost.

“Yes sweets; we’re gonna get you to bed.” James said quietly.

A salacious smirk took over Lily’s face as she tried (and failed) to grab James by the chin. “To bed, hm?”

Regulus snorted, though no one missed the blush that dusted his cheeks. “To sleep, Lils.”

Lily groaned dramatically and seemed to go ‘no bones’ in James' grip as he grunted and tried to keep her from hitting the ground. “Why not.”

“Because you smell like you bathed in a bottle of schnapps, sweetheart.” James placated.

“So?” Lily grumbled though acquiesced to helping James keep her up right. “We can even do that thing you like.” She tried to sing sensually, but her efforts were in vain as every other word came out slurred. 

Sirius grumbled causing James to blush. 

“Not tonight, angel. We’ll cuddle, okay?”

Lily scoffed and turned her sights onto Regulus. “You agree with me, right? Right Reggie? You agree- you agree with me?”

“Almost always.” Regulus agreed quickly, offering Lily his arm as to share her weight with James. “Just not tonight, my love.”

“You guys are no fun.” Lily whined as she allowed her two boyfriends to usher her out of Remus and Sirius’ shared flat.

Unfortunately for Sirius, no one missed Regulus leaning into Lily’s hair and promising that “they’d have lots of fun tomorrow to make up for it.”

“I hate them all.” Sirius grumbled with no real malice as he stood and made his way over to you before offering you both of his hands. “What do you say, dollface? Ready for bed too?”

Remus answered ‘yes’ as you accepted Sirius’ help up which sparked a debate between the two of them whether or not Remus could be considered ‘dollface’ to which you secretly agreed that yes he could but ultimately refused to participate in such nonsense.

You got ready for bed in a haze as you replayed Regulus, James, and Lily’s conversation in your head. You weren’t sure what exactly you were so stuck on, but something about the exchange caused something deep within your gut to churn unpleasantly. 

“You feeling alright, dovey?” Remus asked gently, pressing a kiss to your hairline as you reentered their bedroom after washing your face, carrying your toiletries with you so as not to hog the bathroom.

Sirius (and Remus) had been begging you to spend your nights here with them nearly since the very beginning of your relationship, but you argued that you did not want to pay rent for a flat you never saw. 

He then started nagging you to give up the lease on your flat and just “sodding move in with them already”, but it still felt a little too fresh for that.

So, you spent most nights (but not all) at their flat; living out of duffle bags and toiletry bags.

You hummed in confirmation to Remus’ question, moving towards the mirror above Sirius’ dresser to finish your skincare routine as Remus took his turn with the washroom.

“You sure, sweetness? You’ve been awfully quiet tonight; did you have fun?” Sirius continued as he went digging through what you knew to be Remus’ drawers searching for Sirius’ favourite shirt which was really Remus’ shirt but no one bothered to argue with the black-haired boy…anymore.

“I had fun.” You agreed, massaging product into your face.

“Uh huh.” Sirius commented, not sounding at all convinced as he came up behind you and hooked his chin over your shoulder; watching as you completed your nightly routine through the mirror. “You had so much fun and that’s why you look like Moony when he can’t figure out one of those crosswords in the Daily Prophet?”

You chuckled softly, but something in your lack of enthusiasm (or your lack of disdain) for his joke seemed to tip him off. 

“What’s going on in here, hm?” He asked as he pressed a kiss to your temple. 

“I just…” You started, sighing as you made yourself busy by tidying up your belongings and refusing to make eye contact with him. “I’ve just been thinking about Reg, James, and Lily’s conversation.”

That caused a dramatic groan to rip through Sirius’ chest as he leaned his forehead against your shoulder.

“What now?” Remus asked jokingly as he returned from the washroom. 

“She’s thinking about Regulus, James, and Lily in bed.” Sirius accused; voice muffled in the fabric of your sleepwear. 

You scoffed defensively, claiming you were “absolutely not” at the same time Remus commented “aren’t we all” which started a very loud bickering match between your two boyfriends. 

The arguing only ceased when Remus “swore on his mother’s life” that Sirius was “by far the superior Black brother.” 

Placated, Sirius turned his sights back to you as you sat on the edge of the bed. “So, what were you really thinking about their conversation?”

Remus, having walked in with only enough time to rile Sirius up, popped his head up at that. “Everything alright, dove?”

You sighed as you turned to face them. “I was just confused, I guess.” You admitted. “I think…Lily was hoping to have sex tonight?”

Sirius groaned again which earned him a swat from Remus who seemed to pick up on some of the tension radiating through your body.

“Yes…I’d agree.” Remus responded carefully.

“And Reg and James said no?”

Sirius’ head tilted at that as he considered you with furrowed brows. “Well, of course, doll. She was drunk.” He said simply, as if that explained it all. 

“So…they wouldn’t have sex with her because she was drunk?” You clarified.

The boys shared a glance with one another before they each took a seat on the bed, prompting you to turn your body so you were all facing each other.

“So, all parties have to be able to consent, right?” Remus started. 

You nodded quickly at that. 

“But when one party is inebriated or under the influence, they can’t consent.” Sirius continued.

You felt your eyebrows twitch as you looked down at the pattern on your bed spread. “Even though she was asking?”

“She wasn’t in her right mind, dove.” Remus explained gently; eyes full of compassion and, perhaps, some sadness. “She may have woken up tomorrow and not remembered anything, or perhaps worse, regretted something. It’s Regulus and James’ jobs to keep her safe, just like I’m sure she keeps them safe when the roles are reversed.”

And now you could understand why their conversation seemed to catch you so off guard. 

“You’re so pretty like this; drunk and all mine.”

“Have a few more; we always have more fun when you let loose.”

“But…I’m really tired.” “All you’ve got to do is lay there - I’ll do all the work.”

“You don’t remember last night? That’s too bad; I won’t be forgetting that any time soon.”

“You’re such a good little whore for me when you’ve had a few too many.” 

You hadn’t realised you had zoned out of the conversation until Sirius was leaning into your field of vision. “You okay, sweets?”

“Yeah.” You said breathlessly before clearing your throat. “No, sorry. I’m fine.”

“Why were you asking?” Remus queried; tone hardening slightly, alerting you to the fact that he smelled trouble. 

“I was just wondering.” You fibbed.

“You know we would do the same, right?” Sirius asked earnestly. “That we have done the same for you.”

“You have?”

“Yes, my love.” Remus whispered. “Always.”

You nodded and looked back down at the bedspread. “Okay.”

“Y/N.” Sirius called with a certain level of severity; though you detected no anger or frustration in his tone. “Why were you asking?” He repeated Remus’ earlier question after your gaze met his imploring silver eyes. 

You quickly looked down at your hands as you began picking at the hangnails around your fingers. “I was just confused; that has not always been my experience.” You admitted quietly; shame coursing through your body as you digested this new information.

The room was quiet for a moment as Remus shuffled scrupulously closer to you. “No?” He whispered; voice intoned with a level of gentleness you weren’t accustomed to hearing. 

You began to feel all sorts of discomfort at the heavy attention being focused on you in the room. “It was usually quite the opposite.” You joked; voice rising to a higher octave in an attempt to make light of the situation as you pulled back the covers and made to retreat to the relative safety of the boys’ bed. 

“Whoa, whoa. What does that mean?” Sirius implored, earning him a gentle warning “Pads” from Remus.

“I’m sorry.” You placated, still uncomfortable with this heavy atmosphere you seem to have blanketed over what had been a really nice evening. “I shouldn’t have said anything.”

“No, I-” Sirius began, cutting himself off and taking a breath you could tell was an attempt to calm himself down. He shuffled closer to you and wrapped his hand around one of your ankles through the blanket as he rubbed soothing circles against it. “You can always talk about anything with us; it’s important that we talk about these things, yeah?”

“Only if you’re comfortable, of course.” Remus mollified. “But I do agree with Sirius; if you’re comfortable, I think it’s good for us to talk about these things.” 

“It was just my last relationship.” You admitted finally. “He didn’t…agree - with the consent thing, that is.”

Remus’ lips pursed as Sirius’ jaw tightened. 

“He’d sleep with you when you were drunk?” Remus asked cautiously. 

“Yeah.” You agreed half-heartedly, picking at your nail beds. “Or encourage me to drink more so…”

Remus let out a sigh and you could tell Sirius was fighting back the urge to grumble. 

“I’m sorry,” You offered again. “I really didn’t mean to bring all this up, I just-”

“I really, really don’t want you to apologise anymore.” Sirius nearly begged. 

“I don’t understand how someone could do that.” Remus mused aloud. “To anyone; and someone they claimed to love?”

You mistook Remus’ rhetorical question for an actual need for clarification. “He said I was more fun; that I’d try things I wouldn’t normally.”

Sirius did finally let out an angry huff and his fingers stilled on your ankle. “Who?”

“You don’t know him.” You countered quickly, bringing your knees up to your chest and wrapping your arms around them as you rested your chin on your knees. 

“Lucky him.” Sirius muttered darkly as Remus shifted closer to you. 

“I’m sorry dove.” He offered quietly; holding out his hand to you in a silent invitation. You accepted it, and as you gave him your hand, he gently encouraged you over to him until you were cradled in his arms.

“I didn’t tell you to be sorry.” You murmured quietly as Remus began pressing kisses to the raw and reddened skin around your fingers you hadn’t realised you had nearly shredded in your tension. 

“I know you didn’t.” He whispered. “I’m still sorry, anyhow.”

“I think it’s nice… that the boys were looking after Lily.”

Remus hummed in agreement though he still looked particularly disturbed.  

“That’s their job.” Sirius supplied, causing you and Remus to turn your heads towards your boyfriend whose eyes were red and shining with unshed tears.

“Sirius.” You murmured miserably.

“Just like it’s our job to look after you.” He continued as if you hadn’t said anything at all.

“And you do.” You agreed.

Sirius huffed and wiped at his face. “I hate to think of you being hurt or…or taken advantage of when I wasn’t there to help you.”

Remus made a pitiful sound at that. 

“You didn’t even know me then, Siri.” You offered, half teasing and half placating. 

“She’s alright, Sirius.” Remus comforted. “She’s got us. You’ll be okay now, yeah?”

And you thought of your boys now; you thought of Sirius near tears thinking of someone taking advantage of you during a time you hadn’t even known him, you thought of Remus currently cradling you like you were a precious thing he feared losing if he didn’t hold you with the utmost care, and you thought of their friends - the kind of people who they surrounded themselves with and had the same morals as they did.

Yeah…you think you might just be okay now.

[unluckilyimnot]

Could you write about confessing your feelings and asking out nagi and gagamaru (separately) only for them to be like “i thought we were already dating??” Thank you!

i thought we were already dating ? nagi, gagamaru

m.list II rules

note : hiii ! sorry i take a while, i was really busy <3 here it is ! it hope you like it

Nagi

Nagi and you were about to go home when you thought it was the best timing. He asked if you wanted to come with him to the arcade after school, so you obviously tagged along - never missing an opportunity to spend time with him. You love it too much, spending time with him even if you're not doing much.

But as you walked out of the arcade, a strange feeling took upon your heart and it was like you'll never be able to feel it again. You needed to take a step further. Or at least try.

You never felt more nervous. Your heart was racing inside your rib cage as you stopped in your tracks. Nagi turned around to look at you, puzzled as to why you would stop when you were whining a while ago about how tired you were.

Playing with your nails a little for you to build up your confidence, pushing away so scary voices in your mind telling that it will ruin everything. You finally look up to him, a small blush all over your cheeks.

"I really like spending time with you, much more than just friends ! Would you go with me ?!" You yelled without realizing it, closing your eyes as shame came along with your speech.

When you open them again, you're met with a rather lost Nagi. His head tilted to the side.

"Aren't we dating already ?" He asked, not even thinking twice when your blush worsened in an instant.

You were too shocked to answer, but if you weren't you would've hit his arm so hard. Yet thinking about it, it just makes sense for him to say that.

Taking a few steps toward him, you still hit his arm before taking it. "You know that we have to talk about it Together before it's settled?"

He hummed in response. Not adding anything but it was enough. You're already used to it.

Gagamaru

Your steps resonated in unison with Gagamaru's as you walked further into the lovely park you just found near your place. You never really had the time to take a walk to clear your head or just enjoy the good weather, but since you got closer to Gagamaru, you happened to spend a lot of time outside. It doesn't matter if it’s just walking in silence or happily talking about your interests. It can be in a zoo, around the town, deep into the countryside where he used to live. You just like it a lot, even more since he’s there.

It was always good to hear him talk about things he likes or how much of a nature lover he is. You’re always lull by his voice, calming your sometimes busy mind.

You lost track of how many times your hand brushed, how your heart skipped a beat every time or how you have to look away when he looks at you for a little too long and your cheeks get hot. You don’t remember the first time you started to long for it, a new “date” with him, but you for sure have a lot of feelings for him now. It was just so hard to talk to him with how oblivious he is.

Yet your hand brushed his once again and this time, the warm feeling didn’t stop as he took your hand in his, stroking your skin with his thumb from time to time. It was too much for your heart and mind. You pulled kindly on his hand, your eyes shyly looking into his. You didn’t let go but there was a step between you too, you could tell he didn’t understand what was up.

“I like you.” You didn’t need to think much. Those worlds flow down your mouth naturally, and you should’ve told it earlier. “Would you go out with me ?”

You felt relieved to finally say it, feeling your heart lighter and expecting a smile. Instead you were met with a frown. “I thought we were already dating !”

You blinked once, then twice before scoffing to yourself.

“When did you ask me out ?” you teased, taking a step closer. “I can’t remember well it seems.”

He felt flustered, you could tell by his avoidant look. Getting a little closer and getting up on your toes, you pecked his cheek. “So ? Will you ?”

No need to say that he was even happier after you asked him, in the end.  

i hope you liked it

[en-hazed]

PAIRING: slenderman!sunghoon x fem!reader

GENRE / CW: this is kinda like scary? reader is alone in the woods so you can def guess what’s going on

WARNING: sunghoon doesn’t have some kind of age, so let’s say he’s like 100 years olds lmao, reader is 19, psychological horror (?) kinda, smut, dub-con, sunghoon is fucking big like in all meanings, tentacles, creampie, kissing, angst (?), unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it), petnames, praising, begging, dacriphilia, size kink, if i missed something i’ll edit this later. MINORS DNI.

A/N: this is purely based on the game and theories about slenderman (not on the movie), so i’m really sorry if there’s something that doesn’t really match the storyline :( also im not rlly good at writing smut

There was something that you found interesting and endearing about walking alone in the woods as a relief. You weren’t the kind of girl to spend much time with friends since you enjoyed more your alone time, even though you’ve heard some rumors about you in college that you were weird for such thing, but it’s not like you really cared, at all.

You never feared the dark as a little child, your mom did think there was something wrong with it since all of the kids usually are scared of it, but for you, it was different. You find comfort in it –somehow– but it wasn’t something to be ashamed of.

Today was one of those days where school ended a little late, and you decided to take a late walk to the woods that was near to where you lived. The feeling of the cold breeze hitting you felt like a kiss, even wearing your big puffy coat, you still could feel it.

Being by yourself had some advantages, such as spending as much time as you want to exploring the deep parts of the woods, looking at little details and also observing the pretty dark blue color in the sky.

Roaming around, you found some weird looking note that was glued to the tree, as you were getting closer, you got goosebumps. You usually didn’t find things in the woods since no one really came here because it’s been kinda abandoned, so it made you feel really curious if somebody came before you and put things just for fun to scare people off.

But the note was really weird looking. Why did the note say “HELP ME” in such a creepy writing? Was there someone here following you all along pranking you?

You definitely felt followed, but that didn’t change the growing curiosity that you had wondering if there were more notes. Walking faster and careful looking through all the trees weren’t sufficient, you definitely needed some kind of flashlight, and lucky for you, you always carry one in your backpack.

Getting the flashlight, turning it on, you started looking for more information. You definitely thought that you looked kinda crazy running around the woods if somebody came by, but there was something so interesting about this that you just couldn’t let it go.

In the distance, you could see a new note attached to another tree, you rapidly went and took it, this one saying “CAN’T RUN”. Adrenaline was hell, you felt like you could explode, were all these notes some kind of puzzle that you needed to complete? How many of them are? Such thoughts were in your mind as you were trying to calm yourself while looking at the piece of paper with the word that has been written.

Taking both notes, you did not wanna lose them, so you put them both in your pocket, and resumed roaming around. You noticed there was some kind of strange road that led you to an ever bigger part of the woods, and also, to some new pages.

This time, there was some kind of tall, really tall man drawn on with some words, such as saying “NO” and “FOLLOWS”. Is this some kind of prank? You just couldn’t step out, you were kinda lost, you’ve never been this deep inside and now, it was kinda scaring you. Your phone didn’t have any kind of connection or signal around, so you were definitely fucked.

Taking this situation lightly wasn’t a great idea at all, you knew your mom was worried since you don’t last that much time outside that much. Anxiety was killing you at this point, what the hell was going on? Also, it was also getting really late, you took a little peak of you clock, and it was almost past midnight.

Running around was simply not helping, you felt like you were stuck in some fucked up maze that didn’t have any kind of exit. You wanted to scream, you really did, but you didn’t want people thinking that you were getting murdered or something. Starting to feel dizzy, everything was looping, feeling like you couldn’t get out was one of, if not, your biggest fear. Without noticing, you felt to the ground, your strength was gone, and your head was pounding.

More than 10 minutes passed since you were still in the ground, until you felt some kind of presence, the goosebumps coming back again. You were too far gone to even try to open your eyes, so if someone tried to kill right there, you didn’t care at that point.

The breeze was getting colder, creaking was louder, and there was something there with you, but you didn’t dare to look. Some steps were getting closer to you, and you almost started praying to God to help you out if he was even hearing your pleads.

Now you were crying, you were the one that started following all of those stupid notes going nowhere, and now you were stuck in the deep zone of the woods. After some minutes of thinking, you had the guts to speak up.

— Is somebody here? Anyone? Please, I swear I’m a good person, I won’t do anything to you, but please, I need a reply. — You stated, trying to look around in the dark, since you forgot where you put your flashlight and also, you lost your glasses.

Nothing, you did not receive some kind of reply, so now you were thinking if everything that’s happening is some kind of hallucination from your mind.

From the distance, you swear you saw something, like some big thing standing there, but you couldn’t even seem to confirm that since your poor eyesight wasn’t helping you at all. But that weird creature looking thing was getting closer this time, and you didn’t have that much space to move, so you had to act fast and start walking from there.

Looking back wasn’t something that you wanted to do, if you did that it was gonna be really scary knowing something was chasing you in the dark. But what you didn’t know, that tall white man could teleport if he wanted to, and now, he was right in front of you.

You froze, what was that? You starting looking up and down trying to figure out if it was human or not. He was wearing some kind of suit, his hands were so pale and white, his fingers were so long and his face, you couldn’t really recognize it. He did have some prominent facial features, such as his nose and eyebrows, and also his hair.

— Are you lost, little thing? Have you collected my pages? — He finally spoke, his voice was… something. Not really deep nor sharp, it was just unexplainable.

— I’m sorry, what? — You asked, pages? Why is that his first thought?

— My pages. They’re all attached to different trees. Have you collected them? — He added, getting a little more closer to you.

Oh, so the notes you were looking for, that now you know they aren’t pages, he was the one who attached them to the trees? Is he crazy or something?

— I lost them. I got lost here and when I ran, they kinda flew away from my pockets. I’m sorry, if you’re gonna kill me, go ahead. — You hung down your head, you were definitely cooked and also getting killed in the woods. How nice!

— Game over then. — He spoke lastly, you looked at him with now, more tears in your eyes. He gave you a smile, his fangs were now shown.

His cold hand went to your chin, making you look up to where his eyes were supposed to be, but you were looking at some faceless man. You got caught in his tentacles, putting you in the air and almost choking you by how tight he was taking you.

— Pl.. please don’t do a-anything.. I swear, I’ll do whatever you w..want! — You tried speaking, but your chest felt so heavy that it was almost impossible to.

— Well, actually I do want something from you, if you don’t wanna get killed. — He spoke, his voice was now kinda deeper than before and it was scarier. You could feel his gaze up and down around your body, as if it was scanning you.

— W-what is it? Please! Tell me! — You replied rapidly, gulping. You were in a situation that defined between you being alive or dead, so you were willing to do anything at this point.

You were feeling already anxious until you felt his could touch in your body, closing hard your eyes, you were psyching yourself up that everything that was happening it was all in your imagination. Tears were staining your face, your cheeks turning red and your makeup all messed up.

His cold tentacles were groping you, touching you everywhere while you were just crying. You couldn’t get out of his grip since he was way too strong and taller than you. He started undressing you, retiring your skirt and leaving your tights on. Was this some kind of kink he had?

— I wish you could see yourself through my eyes, looking like a scaredy cat, crying and without any kind of escape from me. — He said, smiling proudly, giggling. His big hands were taking your head, making you look at him. Somehow, he changed your position, using his tentacles to tie your feet, and also your hands together, that were now resting behind your back.

You felt how something cold was poking your now dampened panties, you were definitely scared but your body wasn’t feeling like that. You closed your eyes harshly, not wanting to see what was about to happen. The cold breeze was now feeling like if death was coming near you, not feeling like something safe.

With no further preparation, he pushed himself inside of you, feeling like your guts and tight cunt were being rearranged by his big member. You couldn’t stop yourself from whining and screaming out loud, you weren’t a virgin sure, but his cock felt like dying.

— Don’t be t-too harsh! P-please! — Trying to speak while he was pounding deeper and deeper inside you was tough and more like a challenge.

He tsked his long tongue in response, not really caring about you and going harder on you. One of his tentacles groping your boobs mercilessly, while the other ones were simply roaming around your body.

Changing your position, now in doggy style, he was going harshly and harder, your body was hurting and your were being treated like nothing but a sex doll. You felt your vision going blurry, your hearing going off and feeling extremely numb. You closed your eyes and that’s where you forgot about everything.

Waking up felt like a nightmare, your whole body felt sore, you were covered in cum and definitely felt how the hot liquid was slipping from your thighs. Trying to look for your glasses or any kind of clothing (since you were naked) looking around. That’s when you saw some random guy, weirdly dressed with a suit and also using some glasses, he was tall and pale.

— Are you okay? Do you need help? — That anonymous guy spoke, looking at you and then your whole body, smirking.

You couldn’t even speak at all, so you just nodded. He helped you get up, he somehow carried things in his pockets such as tissues, that he used on you, trying to get you clean.

Finishing by putting on your clothes, you patted all of your body, as if there were some kind of dirt (there was, everything was all covered in it). You looked again at that weird guy that happened to find you in such condition, what was he doing here?

— I’m Sunghoon, and I definitely can read your mind, I just happened to be here when I found you here all alone, covered in… Whatever that was, no need to thank me. — He finished saying, still smirking and looking at you as if he was scanning your whole body.

As a blink, he disappeared, nowhere to be found. There was some weird vibe coming from that guy that you couldn’t explain, but you felt like you already knew him.

What the fuck just happened to you? You for sure were having some kind of fucking overdose of some fucked up vivid dream, you will never be the same after this.

[multi-fandom-imagines8]

A Song of Ice & Shadow

Part 1

A/N: Hello everyone! I’m planning to write an Azriel x Archeron!half-sister reader series, possibly featuring a slow-burn romance and angst. I don’t know how many parts it’s going to have. It begins in ACOMAF chapter 24.

Summary: The eldest Archeron half-sister Y/n hates Fae kind, due to tragic past events. When she unexpectedly visits her sisters, she is met with the very race she hates.

Word count: 2.11K

Being the eldest sibling is not always easy. Y/n knew this firsthand, shouldering the weight of responsibility for her younger sisters from a young age. After their mother’s death, she made the difficult decision to leave her sisters behind and stay with her supposed biological father. It wasn’t because she didn’t share the same father as her sisters; in fact, he loved her like she was his own and never discriminated between them. For the first two years after their mothers death, she stayed with her family, but when her “father” lost his fortune, she knew leaving was the only option. It wasn’t just about lightening their burden by having one less mouth to feed; she also hoped by seeking out her biological father, she could find work and send money back to her family.

Surprisingly, her father welcomed her with open arms, a kindness that caught her off guard considering he had shown little interest in her when she was younger. Despite her initial skepticism, she didn’t question his motives, fearing he might kick her out. With cleverness and father’s help, she managed to pursue higher education, while working to make ends meet. Though her earnings were modest, she’d send whatever she could spare to her family, ensuring they had enough to survive. With Feyre’s help, there was always food on the table.

Y/n’s life was devoid of fun. Between studying, working, sleeping and occasional visits to her family, she had little time for socializing and friends. This isolation was entirely her choice; she distanced herself from others, earning a reputation as being cold, heartless, selfish, and arrogant to those who didn’t know her well. Yet, beneath this exterior, she harbored a deep love for her sisters and would sacrifice anything for their well-being, despite no longer showing them affection after their mother’s death. They understood her silent expressions of care, recognizing that actions spoke louder than words.

One thing everyone knew for certain is that y/n was stubborn. She held fast to her beliefs and opinions, regardless of external influences. Among her sisters, Netsa was the most like her and the one who admired her the most. The two shared the closest bond before she left, but make no mistake, if anyone Nesta feared and obeyed, it was Y/n, knowing she was not one to be crossed.

After Feyre left the mortal realm, her family’s fortune turned, and she finished her education. Consequently, her visits became less frequent, as she immersed herself into her work.

A smile appeared on y/n’s face at the thought of her sisters’ reactions to seeing her after a long time. She decided to surprise them with a spontaneous visit. Unbeknownst to her, another surprise awaited her inside the place she called home.

“Nesta, Elain, I’m home!” y/n announced as she opened the front door of their home.

“Are we expecting someone else?” Rhys whispered to Feyre.

“Nesta, why didn’t you tell me y/n was coming?” Feyre questioned, panic all over her face.

“I didn’t know. She usually sends word before she comes” Nesta claimed.

The conversation between the two sisters earned them a curious, yet worried look from the three males. Nesta stood from chair, hurrying to the door, but she was too late, y/n was now standing in the dining room, the smile dropping from her face and replaced by a shocked expression at the sight before her.

“What is going on?” y/n asked carefully and slowly.

“These are Feyre’s friends. We were not expecting you today” Elain replied.

“Y/n, it’s been a while. I’m so happy to see you” Feyre stood from her seat and hugged her sister, who was reluctant at first but returned the hug.

“You brought Fae-kind into our home?” it was more of a rhetorical question, but Feyre answered anyway.

“Y/n, this is Cassian” she inclined her head to the male with long hair “Azriel” she pointed to the male who y/n could’ve sworn was the most handsome man she’s even laid eyes on “and Rhysand, high lord of the Night Court” Feyre finished introducing.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you” Rhys said with a warm smile.

“I’m sure” y/n sneered, returning her gaze on her sisters “you still haven’t told me what’s going on and why the very same race we despise are now in our living room, dining with us” y/n tried making sense of the situation.

Feyre explained the situation, why they were here, what they needed from the sisters and the threat posed by Hybern.

“So the moment you became fae, you chose to forsake us?” this was all y/n could utter.

“I’d never do that. Me being fae doesn’t change that. It never will. You’ll always be my sister” Feyre assured her.

“If you did, you wouldn’t have brought THEM here. Hatred aside, do you have any idea of the danger you just put Nesta and Elain in?” Y/n turned her hand into a fist, her knuckles as white as they could be, trying to keep her temper in check.

“There was nowhere else to go” Feyre claimed.

“And you were alright with this?” Y/n turned to face her other sisters.

“I wasn’t, but Elain agreed” Nesta informed her.

“Feyre’s right, there-“ Cassian spoke.

“Who are you again?” Y/n glared at him “I’m too tired to deal with this now” she rubbed her temples and said to no one in specific “call me when they’re gone”.

“Uhm, they’re-“ before Nesta could finish the sentence, y/n was already gone “-going to stay for a while” she sighed.

“I take it, this is your eldest sister” Rhys asked.

“I told you she could be intense” Feyre replied.

“That’s one word for it” Cassian expressed and was met with a glare from Nesta.

—-

Thinking they had left, y/n descended the stairs, dressed in her nightgown and robe, seeking out a comforting cup of tea in the quiet atmosphere of midnight. Opening the backdoor leading to their garden, she leaned against the door frame, admiring the stars as she sipped her tea. She took a deep breath appreciating the tranquility and solitude the night provided. She could’ve sworn the shadows moved, but she dismissed it believing it was hallucinations caused by exhaustion from a long trip. Noticing a bright star in the sky, she lifted her cup up and uttered “cheers” a sad smile appearing on her face…

As she was locking the door, she glimpsed a figure in the shadows. This time, unable to dismiss what she saw, she called out “who’s there?”.

At first there was no response but she called out again “I know there’s someone here, so I suggest you come out” she demanded.

Azriel hesitated but complied “I apologize, I did not mean to disturb you”.

“What are you still doing here?” She covered herself with the robe, the gesture did not go unnoticed by Azriel.

“Your gracious sisters allowed us to stay here for a while” he informed her.

“Have they now?” she nodded, clearly displeased by the information she just received “how long are you planning on staying here?”.

“Not long. As soon as the letter is delivered, we’ll be out of your way, I give you my word” he politely said.

“Your word means nothing to me. And if you’re staying at someone’s house, do not sneak up on them” her words as cold as ice.

“I wasn-“ before Azriel could explain, she had left, making his jaw clench in frustration.

The following day, she went downstairs earlier to get some breakfast, but what was early for her, was late for others. Upon entering the kitchen, she found Rhys and Feyre engaged in a conversation with Elain, while Nesta and Cassian bickered over their tea. Azriel was standing in the corner and when he saw her enter, his whole body tensed, and Cassian and Nesta went still

“Good morning” Rhys greeted and was met with silence.

Y/n prepared her breakfast when Feyre approached her “how did you sleep?” Y/n just stared at her sister without saying a word. Once she was done preparing her food, she took it and left without acknowledging anyone’s existence. As Cassian and Nesta resumed their bickering, Azriel finally relaxed, prompting Rhys to speak again “not a good morning, I guess?” He joked.

“Oh believe me, this is a good morning. If you think this was something, then you really don’t want to see her angry” Feyre remarked.

“Is she always like this?” Cassian asked.

“Give her time. She doesn’t like strangers and she most definitely hates Fae-kind” Feyre reminded.

“Yeah, that was clear” Cassian said.

“You’re talking about her like she’s a bad person” Nesta defended.

“Nesta, you know that’s not what I meant” Feyre tried to explain.

“All I’ve seen you do since you got here is criticizing y/n. She’s done nothing wrong” Nesta reminded.

“I’m sorry, but you know how y/n can be”.

“How? All she did was ignore you all, instead of engaging in a pitty argument that would hit your weak spots, and last I’ve known, she does not owe any of you anything. If you’re going to stay in this house, then better respect their owners” Nesta expressed.

“Nesta!” Elain said, clearly displeased with her sister’s tone.

—-

“Can I come in?” Nesta asked permission to enter y/n’s room.

“What is it now?” Y/n opened the door.

“I wanted to spend some time with you”

“Don’t you have guests to entertain?” Y/n crossed her arms.

“Elain and Feyre can deal with them. I’d rather stay here with you”.

“Fiine” y/n rolled her eyes but allowed her sister into her room.

“They already have a bad impression of you” Nesta told her.

“When did I ever care about what people thought of me? Let alone, what male Fae thought of me” y/n chuckled “it bothered you, didn’t it?”.

“Of course it did. I wouldn’t allow anyone to speak badly of you”.

“They’re just words spoken by irrelevant people. When you acknowledge their words, you make them relevant. Remember Nesta, you decide who you give power over you”.

The next day, Feyre, Rhys and Azriel were absent from the kitchen when y/n arrived “oh, for fuck’s sake, how do you two find the energy to fight this early in the morning?” Y/n asked, clearly awoken by the sound of Cassian and Nesta arguing.

“It’s noon” Cassian corrected.

“Whatever. If you’re gonna argue, do it outside. Hearing your voice gives me headaches” y/n uttered.

“And here I thought my voice was soothing” he sarcastically said.

“Don’t. Just don’t!” Cassian’s attempt at humor was met with y/n’s annoyance.

“Rough night?” he asked.

“More like a rough couple of days. Some people clearly don’t know how to be good guests” Y/n started making herself a cup of coffee.

“Well, maybe that’s because some people don’t know how to be polite hosts” he snickered.

“You know what? You’re not worth my time, if you want to argue, you have Nesta. She apparently has the patience for it”.

“Y/n” Nesta called.

“What? You do love arguing” y/n reminded.

“Wow, the two of you in the same house as poor Elain and Feyre, how did they survive?”.

“By knowing when to speak and when to shut up” y/n glared at him, taking her coffee and leaving and he said something.

—-

“What now?” Y/n asked as Feyre called for her sisters “We can leave soon to mail our letter” informing them.

“And this concerns me how?” Y/n asked.

“I-I thought you’d like to go with us”.

“Why would I do that? No, thank you”… “wasn’t there one more of you?” Y/n asked, pretending to just have realized Azriel wasn’t present.

“He had to return early. We had an altercation this morning” Feyre explained.

“Altercation?” Y/n narrowed her eyes,

“It’s nothing”.

“If you’re trying to hide it, then it is something”.

“She was attacked” Rhys claimed.

“What? By whom? And you call THIS nothing?” Y/n started checking her sister for injuries and both males’ eyes widened in surprise.

“I’m fine. I’m not hurt”.

“Who attacked you?”.

“It’s rather a what. She was attacked by a creature called the Attor who was sent by the king of Hybern” Rhys informed her “don’t worry, Az is taking care of it”.

To his surprise, she only nodded.

“I changed my mind. I’m coming with you” y/n announced.

“Don’t tell me it’s because I was attacked” Feyre smirked.

“Oh, shut up!” Y/n nudged her with her shoulder.

[melodic-haze]

Thinking about it now, yk who I'm most interested to see with reader who's Akivili's reincarnation but doesn't realise? Black Swan.

I can't help but keep thinking like. Imagine instead of the scene with Acheron, it's you who she wants to dance with. And why would you ever want to turn her down yk? She's beauty, she's grace, nobody would ever refuse her in your place.

It's clumsy at first, you never really knew that you'd be dancing in such a formal setting so you're kinda lost in this kind of situation. But don't worry, cuz Black Swan is here to guide you through every step until it all feels like a smooth wordless exchange between the two of you!!

She does find it slightly odd though, how everyone else seems to be looking at the two of you-- no, looking at you with curiosity and a want to be closer to you, with some of them even shuffling just a tad bit to dance nearby. It could be because you were one of the mysterious explorers of the cosmos......but for some reason she knew within her that that's not right

So she's undoubtedly curious, and you can see that glint in her eye as she pulls you in while you dance, and you hear her murmur "let me see you" before you feel a minor wave of something off briefly destabilising you before things go normal again. Well, not necessarily normal, considering how you feel more connected to your dance partner than ever and you feel this sense of foreboding unease from so far away......but beyond how you had to keep your guard up, it wasn't hurting you.

Things were. NOT the same in Black Swan's case. She sees your life before you got to Penacony, before your time as a Nameless, before you even discovered a passion for exploting the great beyond!! But she sees that there is another layer—one so old and so fractured and so broken and so unbelievably incomprehensible.

Like an Aeon.

The Memokeeper, much too curious for her own good to back down now, pushes through despite all the warning signs not to. These memories from beyond your supposed time? All fractured, irreparable, corrupted all through hell and back. Some of the ones she CAN comprehend is time spent by.. you and people that you've most definitely never known, all at so many different times and seemingly eras and they all melt into amalgamations of things she is sure you've NEVER experienced so what's going on????

And when she sifts through them all, what waits for her is an empty void. A purely empty space, the stars practically refusing to decorate this scape unlike before she went deeper into your mind.

And she sees youTHEM

And THEYyou reach out to her and attempt to drag her with youHERheTHEM to have her witness the lonely death of--

She severes the connection with a yelp—snaps out of it more like—as you dip her on complete accident because you placed your foot wrong. You're so stupidly proud of the save before you look at Black Swan and she looks like she's just had the most HORRIBLE scare paralysis possible. THEN your smile drops

You ask her if she's okay just in case she's absolutely unimpressed you, and it is only now when you notice all the attention on you and you ONLY❗️❗️❗️ And you pointedly narrow your eyes at her when she shakes her head and grits her teeth the slightest bit before answering. But she doesn't relent so okay fine, you won't.

But when she looks back into your eyes again and see that fire that was supposed to be briefly extinguished all those many years ago, not only is she even more intrigued, but.. perhaps even a little scared for you too.

After all, what awaits you at the end of your journey: the line that you had reached so long ago, or a new ending that over writes that abyssal loneliness?

..She hopes for dear life it's not the former.

[sequinsmile-x]

Hi bestie! I was wondering if you considered writing a sequel to “Take My Hand, Take My Whole Life Too” where Emily meets her parents somewhere by accident and they find out she has kids? It would be interesting to see their reaction 🙂

hiii bestie <3

love this. It always means so much when people want to see more from a little universe I've created. This very quickly turned into a two parter, and part 2 will be up later in the week!

-x-

Some Things Are Meant to Be

She freezes at the sound of the voice she hadn’t heard in years, her shoulders tight as she turns, her jaw clenched as their eyes meet, a face she hadn’t seen in two decades staring right back at her.

A sequel to Take My Hand, Take My Whole Life Too

Part 1/2

-x-

Words: 2.8k

Warnings: estranged parents

Read over on Ao3, or below the cut

October 2013

Emily smiles, her face pressed into her husband’s pillow, as she hears the thundering footsteps of her youngest daughter in the hallway. 

She knew what her family were up to. Aaron had woken her up as he snuck out of bed, whispering Happy Birthday against her hairline before he told her to go back to sleep. She’d wrapped her arms around his pillow and settled deeper into the mattress, but she didn’t get any more sleep. Instead, she’d laid there, content and relaxed as she listened to her husband and their daughters make breakfast for her, their attempts to whisper and keep quiet pointless, their home a place that was always loud and busy. 

She loved it. Loved the happiness that permeated everything, the gentle chaos that came with raising three girls with the man she loved. It was so normal to her, so beautifully ordinary, that her life before them seemed like it happened to somebody else. That it hadn’t been her who had sat in front of her parents just shy of her 23rd birthday and been forced to choose between the life they wanted for her and the one she was living. 

It had been 20 years and she hadn’t regretted it for a moment. Hadn’t had one second where she thought she’d made the wrong decision by walking away from them. Even if things hadn’t worked out with Aaron, if their relationship had fizzled out or collapsed around them, she knew that she wouldn’t have regretted it. Her life would have been her own either way, no longer weighed down by expectations she never would have been able to live up to. 

She closes her eyes just before the bedroom door opens, pretending to be asleep as Mae loudly sneaks into the room. The 5-year-old clambers onto the bed, landing on Emily as she sits next to her, her tiny hands pressing into her mother’s face. 

“Mommy,” Mae stage whispers, louder than she usually was, “Wake up, Mommy.” 

Emily makes a show of opening her eyes and yawning, smiling as her eyes meet those of her daughter, smiling as she pulls her little girl into a hug, Mae’s giggle lost against her chest. 

“Morning, baby,” she says, pressing several kisses in a row to Mae’s head, revelling in the way her youngest still let her love on her this way. Evelyn was beyond it now, claiming at the grand old age of 14 that she was a grown-up, and Hazel was getting there, testing the boundaries of her independence for the first time since she’d turned 10 just a few months ago. 

Emily loved that her girls were independent, that she and Aaron had raised them to be fierce and confident, but she missed when they needed her more than they did now. The long days of early motherhood that seemed to endlessly drag on at the time now behind her. She felt like she constantly went from being proud of who her daughters were becoming to missing when the only place they’d sleep was in her arms. 

Becoming a mother had only made her more angry at her own, somehow even more frustrated at her parents for cutting her off for nothing more than falling in love with a man they thought they were above. She knew, no matter what, that she and Aaron would always make sure their children were loved and that they knew they were.  

They’d never have to doubt it like she had. 

“Happy Birthday, Mommy,” Mae says, tilting her head back to look up at her, her smile wide as their eyes meet.

Emily runs her fingers through her dark hair, smiling as Mae leans into it, “Thank you,” she says, “Are they making breakfast down there?” 

Mae nods, “Daddy says they’ll bring it up to you.” 

She hums contentedly and pulls Mae closer, “In that case, we can just sit here and snuggle until they are finished.” 

“Love you, Mommy,” Mae says, pressing her face into her neck, her fingers tracing the chain of Emily’s necklace. 

Emily rests her cheek on top of Mae’s head and sighs contentedly, “Love you too, sweet girl.” 

___

June 1992

At first, she isn’t sure what’s woken her up. 

She rolls onto her back, yawning as she stretches, the delicious ache in her muscles making her sigh contentedly. She turns her head and smiles when she sees Aaron is still asleep, his mouth slack and his arm heavy across her waist. In the few months they’d been seeing each other she’d rarely woken up before him, so she takes a moment to look at him, to study his features whilst he’s entirely relaxed.

She’s just about to reach out to press her thumb into the space between his eyebrows, the place where they usually creased together, when a knock at the door makes her jump, followed by the door handle rattling.

“Emily? Why is the door locked?” Elizabeth asks, her irritation clear even through the heavy wood. 

“Fuck,” Emily mutters, her hand on Aaron’s shoulder as she shakes it, dragging him from sleep as she stands up, clamouring for her robe so she can cover herself, “Aaron, wake up.” 

“What?” He asks, blinking against the light in the room, his brain not quite catching up with why he was awake. 

“You need to get up, my mother is out there” she says, pulling the covers off of him and walking towards the closet before she opens the door, “Get in the closet.” 

He frowns, and she’s sure she’d find it adorable if her mother wasn’t seconds away from accidentally finding out about the relationship they’d kept hidden, “What, Emily I’m not-”

“Emily,” Elizabeth says, knocking on the door again, “I know you’re in there and I really need to speak to you.” 

Emily looks back at him, her eyes wide, an edge of desperation in them he can’t ignore, “Get in there. Now.” 

He sighs and nods, walking over to the closet and pulling the door closed behind him. Emily makes quick work of tidying up the bed, making sure it only looked like one person had been sleeping in it, and she flattens her hair before she walks over to the door. She gives herself a second before she undoes the lock and pulls the door open, hoping that the smile she gives her mother seems genuine. 

“Mother, sorry I was about to get into the shower,” she says, leaning on the doorframe, “Is everything okay?” 

Elizabeth narrows her eyes and looks past her into the bedroom, her eyebrow raised as she looks back at her daughter, “I just wanted to remind you about tonight.” 

Emily frowns, “Tonight?” 

“The benefit, Emily. The one I’ve been planning for weeks,” Elizabeth says, her arms crossed over her chest as she looks sternly at her daughter, “Your father and I expect you to be there.” 

She sighs and nods, her brain finally catching up with her, “Right. The benefit, of course, I’ll be there.” 

Elizabeth hums, “And remember, be nice to Agent Hotchner.” 

Emily chokes on a laugh and it takes all of her self control to not turn and look at the closet she’d made him stand in, the thin door he was hiding behind nowhere near thick enough to block out her conversation with her mother, “Why…why wouldn’t I be nice to him?” 

“You’re never nice to the security staff,” Elizabeth quips, her eyebrow raised, “And it’s his first one of these he’s working so I’d rather not have you scare someone else off,” she says, “I don’t have the time to find a replacement.” 

She has to press her lips together to stop herself from laughing and she nods as she clears her throat, “I’ll be extra nice to him,” she says, fighting a smile, “I promise.” 

“Anyway, I’ve got to get going. We’ve got plenty to get done before this evening,” Elizabeth says, turning to leave before she pauses, casting one last look back at her daughter, “And please try to run a brush through your hair before this evening, you look like you’ve been dragged through a hedge.” 

Emily scoffs as she places her hands on her hair again, trying to flatten it as her mother walks away. She blows out a breath as she steps back into her bedroom, locking the door behind her again before she rests her head against it.

“Can I come out now?” 

She screws her eyes shut and hides a wince, embarrassment at her reaction to hide him coursing through her as she replies, “Yes.” 

For a man who was wearing nothing but the boxers he’d shoved on as he scrambled out of bed, he walks out of the closet with a type of confidence that makes her stomach flip, “That was an interesting way to start the day.” 

“I’m sorry,” she says, pushing herself off of the door and walking towards him, wrapping her arms around him, smiling bashfully as she looks up at him, “I just didn’t want her to find out about us because she found you naked in my bed.” 

He hums as he wraps his arms around her, pulling her so they are chest to chest as he stamps a kiss against her lips. With anyone else, he’s sure he’d feel offended that she’d thrown him out of bed and hidden him, but he knows her relationship with her parents is complicated. He’d seen it first hand, had witnessed the struggle between reality and expectation and both sides, and he knew she liked to keep as much of her life separate from them as possible. 

It was one of the reasons they’d ended up together in the first place. She never invited any of her friends over, forcing herself to be somewhat of a lonely figure, nothing like the fun, intelligent 21-year-old he knew her to be. Her summer at home between her undergrad and masters had started with her isolating herself, eventually becoming so bored she’d started to hang out with him. A permanent, and entirely welcome, distraction as he tried to work. It felt inevitable when they kissed, a press of her lips against his one night after they shared a drink and sad, surface-level, stories about their childhoods. 

Aaron knew he’d remain a secret of hers forever if that’s what she wanted, no matter how impractical that would be. 

“It’s okay, sweetheart,” he says, kissing her again, “Although, if we really are going to make a go of this, they are going to have to find out at some point.” 

She groans as she rests her forehead against his shoulder, “I know,” she mutters, pressing a kiss to his bare skin, the action turning into a smile when he shivers, “But not yet.” 

He hooks a finger under her chin and makes him look up at her, “Not yet,” he agrees, kissing the corner of her mouth, smiling when she turns her head to capture his lips in a proper kiss. He can still feel the tension in her shoulders, the anxiety only her parents could cause, and he wants to get rid of it, wants to give her the slow peaceful morning they’d intended to have. “I seem to remember overhearing you saying you were going to be extra nice to me.” 

She smiles devilishly and leads him back to the bed, encouraging him to sit down before she straddles his lap, his hands never leaving her hips. She undoes the robe she’s wearing and lets it fall open before she leans forward, pausing just before her lips touch his. 

“I’ll show you just how nice I can be.” 

___

“Mom,” Evelyn hisses as she makes it to her side, her eyes darting around to see if any of her friends have seen her, “You didn’t have to meet me right outside,” she says, adjusting her book bag over her shoulder, “Everyone else’s parents are meeting them in the parking lot.” 

Emily chuckles and walks alongside her daughter, “Evie, I had to park at Union Station, there’s no way I’m letting you walk there by yourself,” she says, smiling as the teenager rolls her eyes at her, “Besides, you should be grateful it’s me who came to pick you up. Your Dad wanted to get a picture of you outside the Capitol Building.” 

Evelyn shudders at the thought of it, as if she can’t think of anything worse than posing for a photo for her parents, “Why?” 

“Because we’re proud of you,” she says, “It’s not every day your kid gets invited to the Student Government Conference.” 

The irony of Evelyn’s aptitude for and love of politics was not lost on Emily. She’d joined the Student Government in middle school and loved it, and she’d been part of one ever since. She found it fascinating, the ins and outs of the laws and how they were made one of her favourite things to learn. 

Emily often thought that her daughter was the child her mother had always wanted in some ways. Evelyn was just like Emily - she was opinionated, wilful and stubborn, but she was also empathetic and kind and just a little bit wild. They were all traits Elizabeth had hated in Emily, things she’d desperately tried to fix that Emily hadn’t seen the beauty in herself until she saw them in her own daughters, but she thinks her mother would have been a lot more forgiving of them if she’d had the interests that Evelyn did. If they’d shared a love for the politics that had actually been a wedge between them, a gap neither one of them could, or would, cross. 

“It’s not that big a deal.” 

Emily comes to a stop and places her hand on Evelyn’s arm, squeezing gently before she lets go, “Yes, sweetie, it is. We’re very proud of you.” 

Evelyn fights a smile and crosses her arms over her chest, “Thank you, Mom” she replies, looking around to make sure none of her friends have overheard her before she carries on walking, “Do you think that pride will get me pizza tonight?” 

Emily laughs and nods, “I think your dad will let you-”

“Emily?” 

She freezes at the sound of the voice she hadn’t heard in years, her shoulders tight as she turns, her jaw clenched as their eyes meet, a face she hadn’t seen in 20 years staring right back at her. She stands frozen for a moment, stuck between her past and her present, before she feels a hand on her arm.

“Mom?” Evelyn says, her dark eyes full of concern as Emily looks at her, “Are you okay?” 

Emily hears how the woman standing in front of them gasps quietly as Evelyn calls her mom, and she nods and digs her keys out of her pocket, grateful that they are now close enough to the car that she could see it, “I’m fine, go get in the car, honey.” 

Evelyn frowns, looking back and forth between her mother and the familiar looking stranger in front of them, “Mom, what’s-”

“The car, Evelyn,” Emily says, harsher than she means to, something that only registers as hurt flashes across her daughter's face. She sighs and tucks some of Evelyn’s hair behind her ear, “Please,” she says, her voice softer now, “Go get in the car and I’ll come to meet you in a minute.” 

Evelyn flicks her eyes between the two women again before she nods, taking the keys from Emily, flashing a tight smile at her before she turns away, “See you in a minute.” 

Emily watches her go, her eyes fixed on her daughter’s retreating figure, not taking her eyes off of her before she sees her climb into the front passenger seat of the car. It’s only then that Emily turns to look at the woman in front of her, still rooted to the spot.

She looks the same bar a few lines around her eyes. As if two decades hadn’t passed since they’d last seen each other. She clears her throat and clasps her hands in front of her, her fingers automatically curling around her wedding rings, Aaron’s love pressing from the cool metal into her skin. 

When she speaks, she’s proud that her voice doesn’t shake, that she doesn’t give any indication of the war waging within her. 

“Hello, Mother.” 

-x-

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[izzydaninja]

Sonic with baby Shadow! Finally writing something for this!! Also still trying to think of title ideas.. (Might keep a funny one I thought of).

Part 1: A Little Stuck

Hands cupped around a small, fragile package as he keeps it close to his chest in an effort to protect it. He hurriedly rushes through a deep, swampy forest he’s not the most familiar with. Shoes soaked and slipping in the muddiest puddles as rain pours down all around.

He wasn’t even sure where he was heading anymore, under all these thick, slumped trees. And even that doesn’t change that rain still manages to coat him all over, leaving him dripping wet as he continues to scramble away with something needing protecting.

He was covered in small aches and pains from the battle he’d just managed to escape, although, barely as he still runs from the shrieking engine of his mechanical copy, and his many other clone brothers–er- whatever they’re called. Being hunted through this wretched weather fog was not on his day-plan.

Seeing a nice cover under a short, stubby tree hanging over–his quick feet slip not so graciously a few times as he attempts to turn in the tree's direction. One of his hands had to pull free of protecting his package in order to catch himself briefly so he could book-it for the tree.

His free hand swats the large, hanging leaves of the drooping tree, out of his way before he dives towards the trunk, where the ground’s layered in a puddle, like everywhere else. The leaf slides back down, shadowing the hedgehog in its protection as speeding blurs zip by, almost endlessly.

He carefully curls around himself, subconsciously trying to shield what he holds, as his eyes dart back and forth, zoning in on every single bot that speeds by, making sure they don’t catch notice of him in his last minute hiding spot.

When the last one zips by, and the engines are no longer in range to be heard, he slumps in relief, finally exhaling to breathe properly. Only then, does he realize how protective he was acting towards his company, and he awkwardly clears his throat, opening his hands to reveal his little companion. A little black and red hedgehog, looking up at him with big, reflective ruby red eyes. Eyes that hold nothing but innocent curiosity, a childish curiosity that doesn’t belong on the face of his rival.

“Uh.. Shadow?” He voices, trying to be quiet in case the Metal Sonic’s weren’t too far off. “Do you.. Understand me?”

The little hedgehog just sits in the palms of his soaked hands, also a little wet, but doesn’t react in any way that would suggest he’d even spoken to the little guy.

With an overly stressed and frustrated groan, he pulls a hand free to brush back his own messed up quills, trying to ease the way they started to spike out in defense. His eyes, panickily glued to the little hog in his hand.

“Okay.. It’s fine.” He tries to ease, with a slight shake of his voice. “If I can just get a hold of Tails, he should be able to… ah.. Right.. Communicator was destroyed and lost.” He thinks aloud, eyes now traveling down to his bare wrist, where a few deep cuts lie, a pinkish-red, staining his fur where the rain washed at it.

“And Tails is halfway across the world, right now..” He adds with an uneasy sound, shrunken, tired eyes, drifting back to the mini hedgehog in his grasp, which has now lost interest in him, and is looking around the makeshift tree-tent they are currently sitting beneath.

Lips pulled tight, tension making him feel antsy, he watches the little hedgehog, unable to process much outside of: “We’re in trouble…”

A chill riding up his spine, finally draws his mind back into his body and–oh–does he feel the shiver that wracks him from the ice-cold mini-pool he’s sitting in, along with how soaked he already is, rain getting through his quills and fur as if he were in the ocean. Running helped keep his adrenaline going, it kept him warm, kept him busy. Now, he can feel the blistering chill of the wind blowing through the leaves, hitting his drenched self, and feeling as though it’s tearing straight through him. It felt about as cold as winter! The only–hardly–good thing about that, was the fact it numbed most of the injuries he’d sustained over the course of their battle with Metal Sonic and his army of twins.

A particularly sharp gust of wind blew through, and reflexively made him curl in on himself. Shivering against the thick trunk of the tree, he notices he’s not the only one getting affected by the extreme weather and lack of action. A faint trembling in his hand, had him look down to the tiny curled ball in his palm, that is shivering up a storm of its own. A small, shaky, squeak sounding from the wet ball of fur.

Reacting on instincts and past experience–with a–not as young–fox–he immediately rips off his soaked gloves, dropping them in the pool of water as he cups his hands around the little hedgehog, trying to help warm him up again.

“Sorry, Shads..” His voice cuts a little from the cold. “If I could, I’d get a fire or something going, but-” Another gust of wind cuts his sentence off short, and he turns his back to it, curling more around the little hedgehog in his hands. “I don’t even see why I’m explaining this to you..” He shivers out. “You’re nowhere near old enough to understand this stuff right now. And even if you can understand, you’d already know from the obvious.”

Outside their little tent is barely lit from daylight trying to illuminate through the thick, gray clouds rolling in, leaving the inside of their natural tent, nearly pitchblack. As that does make their hiding spot safer from the mirror army of droids, it is also making running home right now a more dangerous option. Not being able to see his enemies coming, or where he’s going, especially with all this heavy rain. Tonight was going to be a trip…

The occasional sounds of the robotic copies engines whirring out with a speeding light not too far, suggests those machines were still on the hunt, and since water doesn’t seem to affect them, they’d likely be looking all night long if it came to it. Meaning, he’s going to need to move places soon. But that won’t be happening until he’s certain these copies are far enough away that he won’t draw any attention.

It was getting darker, and the rainwater on the ground was now reaching his ankles, and he can officially say his feet were numb. The rain had long since gotten through his shoes and filled them with water, soaking his socks, too, and as uncomfortable as it is, he’d also accepted the fact he’d have to deal with it, till he can get back to Tails’ lab.

With a shaky exhale, he leans forward, away from the trunk of the tree, checking outside their little tent for the fifth time since daylight died out. Leaving things next to pitchblack, and making it to where the vaguest of shadows were his only indication that something was there. At least, until another Metal clone came flying back, leaving an orange glow in its wake.

The area seemed clear. He hasn’t seen, nor heard anything, though, that could be because of the lack of light, and the overwhelming splashing of the rain, along with the rumbling claps of thunder. Seeing or hearing anything right now, would be near impossible. But he hasn’t seen any bright glowing red eyes, or orange flaming engines flying around, so that should, hopefully, mean they’re in the clear. For now..

Unable to see in the dark, he brushes a thumb over the quilled ball in his cupped hands, trying to check on the little fluff ball, who’s no longer shivering. A rough vibration with a small gruff sound from the little hedgehog was enough of a warning to not do that again. Okay. He still doesn’t like being touched. Noted.

Unfortunately, though, in this situation, without the advantage of sight; Sonic needed a free hand to feel around for directions, so Shadow was going to have to deal with it. And so, he shifted the little quilled ball into one hand–earning another little growl at the movement–and held him against his chest to help with keeping the wind from him.

And with a free hand, he reaches down into the water feeling for where he’d discarded his gloves–not wishing to leave a trail–before he steps out of their little shield in hopes of finding better shelter for the night. At least, someplace much drier.

“You are so going to owe me after this.” He grumbles aloud. The thunder, so graciously covering it up. Though, I do really hope you don’t remember any of this after you’re back to normal.

[iridescentscarecrow]

while discussing csm 163, i'd mentioned how the fan's monologue revealed more about/reiterated asa & denji's character arcs. & i think that lays the groundwork for 164 very well:

the rules regarding intimacy being laid down by Nayuta (symbolic of family) during asaden's first date are really interesting. now you see nayuta (or rather, her absence) being determinant to denji's Compliance. the house & its rules are *burnt* (fire/dreams) to ruin.

within nayuta you can still locate makima's initial thesis with family as the location for control. the shattered husk of family, haunting where & how you form relationships, where you comply with state, with church, with structure.

and this quality is relevant to asa too. she specifically brings it up here, she was robbed of her family in the orphanage. family as context. asa is made uniform & outside narrative frame. her deprotagonism occurs in concert with the gendered labels she's assigned,

wherein she's pushed into the role of a Fan. even her harkening back to context is brought up in relation to denji: she knows how it feels *too*. this area of empathy is a point i'll mention later in this post, re: another Fan from part 2.

but even then: right now in the manga it seems apt then that we see asa's strain of self at its weakest. her strong individuation|aversion that marked her prior interactions are kind of bled away? we're given startlingly little writing re: her interiority, she's oddly passive.

the point of deviation here is her declaring that she hates sushi. it's unreasonable, absurd against the scene. you're reminded of the aquarium arc, where she'd said the same thing: her hating fish. her being stubborn.

this is at the same time where she hugs her knees & tells denji that making him into a weapon goes against her principles. she can't eat fish, even when cornered up & starving. neither can she make him into a weapon. or follow this script.

strangely enough, it's in the aftermath of this scene that i find asa's sense of self to appear the strongest. she's flushed and giddy with victory. she's entirely Protagonist, denji is relegated to the background.

which is why her shafting & the way this is seen alongside fanhood is extremely compelling when we consider the other character who'd brought up SUSHI: fumiko. fumiko categorises herself as the Denji Fan, at many points engineering her own exit from the narrative.

as opposed to asa who is thought of in association with the CSM almost involuntarily, tripped & restrained distinct from her selfishness. at the amusement park, fumiko attempts to relate her own family/background with denji too. it's a moment that particularly gets to me.

because denji's response to this is him trying to sort of find a commonality between their griefs, in an event where he lost his family as well. he turns to her but she's still talking about the fucking chainsaw man. not his grief.

& asa here, all of CSM's motely fanclub, wanting different things out of him, talking to him about family, like fumiko, within his home's burnt remains, one built out of the product of his Hunger for makima (quite literal) brought to culmination by cannibalism, nayuta's birth.

the home is torn down, & nayuta is gone. denji is hungry again, says kiga. he's hungry for sushi. fumiko The Fan, in her affiliation with denji, talks to him about sushi, tuning his hunger, in a manner. food underlies p2's narrative marvellously well with kiga & falling.

fire used in cooking & transforming fans into tools. & asa at many points finds this same fanhood sticking onto her, palpably gendered. her hating sushi is written as absurd instead of solemn as it was earlier. & fumiko, in her condensed fanhood *likes sushi*.

asa getting over her dislike of sushi for denji would be absolutely horrifying TBH. i don't know how else i'm meant to see it.

[osaemu]

so uh funny story guys. i lost interest in anime men

[mitamicah]

I see a lot of people have made covers of the snippet of Everybody's Waiting (the new JO track)

I may do it too but at the same time I am hesitant given that I am 90% sure they won't see it (since everything else I'd ever made have never been noticed by them - Bojan's big share yesterday included) and if by chance it is getting seen I am not sure how I'd feel having the first thing noticed by them be just another cover

I am probably overthinking things again

[hua-fei-hua]

it's definitely extremely funny that after i start writing a smut For Real (not clickbait) i proceed to receive. a fucking nosebleed. like this is anime.

[asahicore]

guess who just aced an oral exam in GERMAN of all languages... im never shutting up about this im a whore for academic validation so im gonna be so happy for the next few days.. nothing bringing me down anymore !

[cimicherrychanga]

btw u guys have to promise to not be mad at me for becoming ur turtle mutual. please

[gnawd]

i think about everything ends being a comfort to jules before they turned but how it's now their fear <33

[istanbulite]

like or send a pigeon or sth if it's even a lil bit interesting me posting abt astraeus and my mc eos and adding other stuff from the mythology into the canon story

[nullcanary]

"Now all my other gods are dead. Hallelujah, to the apocalypse in my head!"