#tw: a VERY unhealthy view of love and feeling like you deserved something bad happening to you.

[mad-hunts]

20. what is something your muse wants to tell others, but is too afraid to? 

hey, @absensia! thank you very much for the ask (: it means a lot to me that you'd drop one in my inbox, if i'm being honest!! but of course... i'm incredibly grateful for everyone's submissions in regards to the prompts i posted for barton! alright, so my answer to this one is probably going to be long like the last, so please bear with me while i pour out all of my thoughts as to what i believe barton has wanted to tell people for years. and that is that he might need help — which, considering how much blood he has gotten on his hands + the very poor state of his mind, isn't that unreasonable at all. though barton doesn't want to bring this up to anyone for a multitude of reasons; one of which is because he fears he'll be seen as weak and because he's pretty much convinced himself internally that he doesn't deserve it. though i feel as if most of the time, barton not only feels this irrational as well as powerful hatred towards everyone else, but towards himself, too. which are both dangerous mindsets to be in within their own right.

when you feel like you are completely unlovable but are also so chronically lonely at the same time that you will quite literally seek people out who you know hate your guts, because in a way, seeing them almost validates what you feel about yourself + you also feel so lonely sometimes that you feel like you're going insane ( or more than he already was before anyhow ) ; in barton's opinion, that is probably one of the very definitions of ' something's wrong. ' especially since this has led him down some pretty dark paths before: both with things like self-medicating using alcohol and getting into this relationship with someone that he knows is bad news, but who he believes he belongs with on some degree. this is because they're both terrible, and they feed into each other's desire to receive their own extremely unhealthy idea's of what love is. an idea that love is inherently violent when that is anything but what love actually is.

and barton knows that it's wrong deep in the back of his mind because he is at his absolute worst when he's with this person, but like i mentioned previously, he doesn't believe he deserves any better than them so he hasn't told anyone about what he's been feeling. however, when you disassociate like barton does sometimes in which you genuinely do not remember what the hell happened for a certain amount of time, since your brain is struggling so hard to cope with all of these bad feelings you're feeling and terrible things you're exposing it to that it feels the need to tuck it away somewhere... you should absolutely seek help as he has subtly alluded to how he often feels a few times around his kids, and they were probably the most concerned about him that they've ever been.

but the problem remains that the action of actually reaching out to people feels impossible for barton. both in the way that he wouldn't even know where to begin explaining his feelings into words, on account of them feeling so complex that he feels like he can't even name them a majority of the time, as well as that he was taught that seeking help was something to look down upon by wesley. this is also attributable to the desire that barton feels to appear like he's perfect all the time, as i had highlighted in one of my previous posts on here. and acknowledging that you are actively struggling goes against that, along with the fact that talking to someone is a sign of confidence in yourself. which barton is actually lacking in despite appearances.

though anyhow, i know that this was probably an awfully heavy thing to have to read through, and i'm sorry for that in advance. but barton, kind of like real people, are not the sum of their parts — so i felt like it was important to explain how he feels wholly and without things being sugarcoated / left out. i hope you liked this answer anyhow, though, and are having a great day so far! thanks again for the ask.

[payongdahon]

endings & new beginnings : timeless reading ♡

˚₊· ͟͟͞➳ pile 1 ˚₊· ͟͟͞➳ pile 2 ˚₊· ͟͟͞➳ pile 3

— [♡] hello everyone and welcome to my first PAC reading! today's reading is one that i've been wanting to do since i've noticed recently, a lot of people have been moving out or leaving things that no longer serve them (especially since leo season just started) and also those who are living out their best life as well! this reading is timeless though, take what resonates and simply ignore what doesn't. this is your life, and you better be healthy to yourself ♡

this is only for entertainment purposes, and you are still in control of your own fate and destiny no matter what. ♡

˚₊· ͟͟͞➳ pile 1

back of the deck: king of pentacles

cards: the world (reversed), x of pentacles, the devil, judgement (reversed), ix of swords, ix of wands, ace of pentacles (reversed)

tw: hints of mental health issues and unhealthy coping

— currently, or perhaps in the past, you may have had to hinder your future and your goals for family or friends, this relationship has been really close, or this situation was possibly even caused by a generational practice. you had to live in survivor mode and you felt overwhelmed by everything, this most likely let to you having either bad self-image or low self esteem, some of you may have had to cope in ways that if you were perhaps more lucid, it wouldn't be something you would be okay with. but this felt like your responsibility, and bigger than your world, and that's a very heavy burden. whatever you may have had to do to cope, was to survive, to live another day, and you deserve to forgive yourself and better yourself from there. it is not the end of the world, my love. at this moment, no matter what is happening around you right now, you are safe here, and you can take off the responsibilities you had or once had here, even for just a moment.

on the bright side, though, things may take a turn for you soon or it already has. either an abundance of opportunities will/has enter your life and lift yourself from this situation and live anew, or an opportunity will bring you an abundance of possibilities. here, you will have control of your life, live the way you want, act the way you want, and attract abundance from there. you're going to feel safe and at ease, and be able to rest like a newborn baby. i am so excited for you pile 1!! ♡

˚₊· ͟͟͞➳ pile 2

back of the deck: iii of wands (reversed)

cards: knight of swords, ii of swords (reversed), the hermit (reversed), the world, iv of pentacles (reversed), queen of swords (reversed), wheel of fortune (reversed)

— i think you've been feeling very weak and unmotivated, but you've been running away from something, something you know you've been having unfinished, and in turn you sacrifice your own true self in turn. you have been neglecting yourself and your views, your light to escape this and you already know what it is. you need to face this, and come into terms with this, and put an end to this, or simply find peace with it, and then you will find a new beginning. you find your world will be turned upside down, but since you have been resisting this, i will just tell you the rewards on the other side for putting your sword down and moving on.

an ambitious, independent and righteous soul emerges out from the fog, and everything you touch, it blooms beautifully. you will find abundance and control over your life again, and what you wished for your future self to be will be better with time. you will stop running away and stop living with regrets and unfinished business and grudges. you know better now, and you know what you can do to help yourself now. you live for yourself, and you stand up for yourself, and you are true to yourself. you live in peace.

˚₊· ͟͟͞➳ pile 3

back of the deck: ace of swords (reversed)

cards: ix of cups (reversed), iiv of swords (reversed), ii of cups, vi of wands, the high priestess, iii of swords

— this wasn't supposed to be a love reading, but i think this pile has finally realized they've fallen in love with someone or are starting to feel that spark. but since you can't cope with it, or you don't bask in it, or maybe you don't want to be in love, you are choosing to withdraw, evade or look away because you're still in the same place. you can't move away from it. because when love finds you, it will chase you down and you cannot run away from it. and all you do is stay still and keep quiet about it, because you don't know what to do anymore. you feel helpless.

"there are three things you cannot hide. a cough, poverty , and love. the more you try to hide it, the more it will be revealed."

soon, you will need to make a decision of a lifetime, because this seems to hold a lot of meaning to you. you are going to let go of this burden and this feeling you've been trying to force away and avoid. this means you either confess or come into terms that you've fallen for this person. and this isn't easy, i know, but you end up doing one of them, but once you do, and i can't guarantee you'll be given a yes, you won't have any regrets anymore. it's heavy, and it might be lonely, but either way, whether they feel the same way or reject you, it will be worth it in the end. i really wish the best for you, pile 3. you can do this!

bonus: channeled song ❦ fallen by lola amour

[animeyanderelover]

Hey uhh I really liked the Killua with ADHD s/o so... Ciel, Levi, Hange, Shaiapouf and Meruem, with ADHD reader (in the form of headcanons) .. also take your time :)

Wow, not gonna lie. I was already happy when I finally got to write something about the Chimera Ants already once. But to be able to write about a few of them again. I apologize if I didn’t get something accurate.

Tw: Yandere themes, unhealthy mindset, unhealthy relationship, obsessiveness, possessiveness, threatening, degrading, delusions, ADHD, violence, brutal behavior, killing

ADHD: ADHD stands for attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, a complex brain disorder. ADHD is a development impairment of the brain’s executive functions. It causes trouble with impulse-control, focusing and organization.

s/o has ADHD

Ciel Phantomhive

☕️Ciel isn't the best nor is he the worst to have with his darling having ADHD. He doesn't hate you for it, he knows you can't do anything against it since it's not your fault. You were just born with it and there's nothing you could have done. So he does try to be as understanding and patient with you as possible. But keep in mind that Ciel can get rather easily annoyed if his buttons are pushed the right way. So I feel like if he realizes that he's near his limit, he would somewhat push you away and let Sebastian or the other servants deal with you. This might hurt your feelings, but Ciel is actually frightened that he'll say something hurtful to you and for that leaves you. Would later on apologize and try to make it up to you. He himself isn't very familiar with ADHD, but is a smart boy and has his demon butler with him.

☕If you should tend to lose motivation and focus quickly, lose your things and don't seem to listen too someone when being talked to then you actually don't have to worry too much. Because Sebastian and the servants will do anything for you, meaning you don't have to worry about being forced to do cores. You losing things can of course annoy Ciel, especially if they were expensive or he needed them himself. Luckily his butler finds them always quickly. He would grow definitely a lot more controlling over his s/o because they keep forgetting things, leading him to scheduling out their whole day from the moment they wake up to the moment they go back to bed. Ciel also tries to not make you focus on something too long since you lose quickly interest. It's agitating in a way for him since he hates it when he gets the feeling that you don't pay attention to him, but he reminds himself that you can't do anything against it.

☕If you should be the more hyperactive one, Ciel will definitely have to leave you very often alone. Ciel isn't good with very energetic and loud people since he's constantly surrounded by such persons. He really does extend his string of patience a lot with you, but he feels kind of insulted whenever you suddenly blurt in when he's talking. Also nearly goes crazy whenever you can't sit still for a minute somewhere, tapping your feet and playing with your fingers. Your hyperactivity exhausts him and the only reason he puts up with it without lashing out on you is because you can't do anything against it and because he loves you. Hates leaving you alone because he's afraid that you'll climb up somewhere or touch some weapons or things which might hurt you. So whilst it makes him tick off, he will have you stick near him very often and if he needs to calm down, he'll order Sebastian to watch over you since that guy's the most capable of handling you.

☕Reputation is important for Ciel and as arrogant this may sound, feel like he wouldn't tell many people about you since he doesn't want to be judged for being in love with someone many nobles would describe as 'unsuitable'. He can gladly pass on the whole 'You-could-have-chosen-better' talk. A less selfish reason is that he is due to the way you are incredibly overprotective of you. Next to being a bit embarassed, he understands that you would probably not want to hear others talking trash about you. He lives in a very difficult time where people were more judging than they might be today. This openmindness wasn't as present as today and behavior was especially under people from higher society very important. Ciel knows that and it leads him to shielding you from the outside world.

☕I feel like the people in the manor are all really open-minded and would accept you open-heartedly which will lift a bit weight from Ciel's shoulders. Sebastian has infinite patience and Bardroy, Tanaka, Mey-Rin and Finny just really like his darling. It gives Ciel the feeling that he can trust and rely on them and whilst he definitely keeps a sharp eye on the human servants since they tend to be more clumsy which might end in an accident. After Sebastian Tanaka might be the most trusted, that is if he is in his real form. This gives Ciel a sense of ease because when he hurt you unintended, he knows he can count on them to be there for you and comfort you. Mey-Rin, Finny, Bardroy and Tanaka will over time grow just as their master overprotective over you.

Shaiapouf

🎻Here we have to keep in mind that Shaiapouf changed his type and behavior for his darling. I think during the first time when he was a stricter Yandere, he had a harder time dealing with this. Because back then it was all about perfection for Shaiapouf and this was somewhat of a flaw his darling had. After reading a whole day books about it, he did get that his s/o didn't choose to be this way, but it led him to being a bit harsh on them neverthless. When he reached the point of total adoration and devotion, that changed of course and all of a sudden, his view on all of this changed. It wasn't any longer a flaw, it was a unique trait his royalty had and Shaiapouf swore to himself to treat them like a loyal servant should.

🎻During the first stage he definitely tended to be very controlling, probably even forcing you into doing things even when you lost focus and/or motivation. At that time Shaiapouf just had very high expectations for you and you just happened to go against his perfect and ideal picture he had in mind. He forced you to educate yourself better, he forced you into learning the violin or another instrument, all because this perfect image of you was stuck in his head. And he scolded you every time he noticed that you stopped doing it once again. It was definitely not an easy time. So when he entered his worshipper mode it is most likely a huge relief for his darling. Because now he doesn't care about all of this anymore, the only thing he is focused on is protecting his king/queen and keep them happy. Now he doesn't lash out when you lose your things or seem to not listen to him. He's past total devotion and infatuation and due to his never-ending amount of patience with you a lot easier to be with. You don't have to move a finger anymore because he insists on doing anything for you now.

🎻The stricter version of him also wouldn't tolerate it if you should be too energetic, keep interrupting him or can't sit still without somehow move your limps or even do indecent things. He always tries to keep in mind that it's somewhat of a sickness, but for him it was then all about manners and good behavior and so he did try to forcefully change your way of being, always scolding you and trying to teach you how to act properly. For a worshipper Shaiapouf this is a no-go and even thinking back on how he even dared to think that he had the authority to try to change his already and always perfect majesty has him devastatedly sobbing. HOW DARE HE?! Now he honestly doesn't care anymore when you interrupt him, constantly act energetic or even scream at him in excitement. He's obsessive and due to that tends to focus really intensely on your behavior, he's beyond relieved that he didn't damage you with his previous way of acting. His majesty shouldn't change because of him. The only thing that makes him badly paranoid is when you act a bit too reckless which might end with you getting hurt. This makes Shaiapouf always fly panicked to you, preventing you from doing whatever you were about to do and try to coax you into doing something where he knows you won't get hurt.

🎻He used to somewhat degrade you and make you feel bad about yourself before too, inveighing constantly that you should and could do better if you would just try a bit harder. It has him going on a crying rampage later on because even thinking about how he used to say those words at you and not caring when you looked hurt at him inflicts an unbelievable amount of pain onto him. If he should ever even think that you still resent him for it, you have him kneeling in front of you whilst sobbing and begging for forgiveness even though he knows he doesn't deserve it. That's the exact reason he is even more anxious of ever letting you under humans again. He's frightened that they will not only kill you, but also talk down to you because of your ADHD. It gives him nasty heart attacks all the time and if he should ever find out that there was someone in your old hometown that bullied you because of this, he will remove named disgrace shortly after because it makes him absolutely furious when he hears that someone didn't respects and worships you the way he does. Blames also himself for not making you feel worthy enough if you yourself should think lowly of yourself.

🎻You all can probably guess it, but after becoming a worshipper, it will become a lot more easier for the s/o to endure life a bit better with Shaiapouf because now he doesn't see their ADHD as a flaw anymore, but as a special trait that has to be adored and protected. He will do now about anything and everything for you. Shaiapouf is in this case even more dependent on your approval because he's horrified of how unworthy he used to treat you and misreads things constantly, instantly blaming it on how he used to be. It can be as much as you reacting a bit too late to him because you weren't focused and then you already have him crying. He's still a lot to deal with, but it's better for your mental health to not be discriminated for your ADHD anymore and being told that you could do better.

Meruem

👑Just like Pouf, he had a change in his overall behavior which needs to be looked over. Let's just say that at first he was totally terrifying with dealing and accepting it. Different from Pouf he's the type to blame you for this even if you really couldn't do anything about it. It's a dangerous gamble in here because he used to expect total obedience and behavior from you and annoying him or going against his wishes ended with him hurting and scaring you on a daily base. After he had his transformation to a slightly better Yandere, he became totally fascinated with this, suddenly being interested a lot more about ADHD and informing himself properly.

👑It won't go well if you don't stay focused whilst he is doing something with you or he gets the impression that you don't listen when he's talking to you. It ends with him talking terribly down to you, pocking cruel fun at you for being so stubborn, dumb and weak and can even end with him hurting you physically when he's had enough. Later on he would be still somewhat grumpy and annoyed whenever you forget things or lose focus and don't listen to him. But now he came to the terms of accepting that this isn't your fault to start with and for that won't lash out on you anymore. He just checks on you and makes sure that you don't forget to look after your own health.

👑Being loud and interrupting others because you can't wait for your turn might be even worse than being unfocused and forgetful in here. Meruem is a king, you have to treat him like one and obey him. And being all impatient, not letting him finish his sentences and even yelling at him is such a huge sign of disrespect that Meruem used to think that you are either out of your mind or have a death wish. It ended so often with you crying afterwards, either because he had terrorized you or really hurt you. That changed of course later on, he still was somewhat annoyed by all of this, but now he just tends to clamp a hand over your mouth when he realizes that you're about to suddenly start speaking again. He doesn't like being interrupted. He proves to have more tolerance with you constantly being hyped up and even expects his royal guards, execept Pouf, to be ready to troll around with you when you seem too energetic. Since he knows that you can be very careless, he never lets you leave his sight, especially when his butterfly servant or another chimera ant is around.

👑He honestly used to be the worst when it came to talking bad to you and about you. He called you weak, pathetic, useless and many other things. He just thought that you should be grateful for him to even keep you since you were a sore for his eyes to see. But he also saw himself at that time as the only one who was allowed to talk like this, ending in him killing everyone who did the same. He owned you and only he had the right to do this to you. That changed after he softened up. Now he kills everyone who talks bad about you because he cares and I believe Shaiapouf might just really get himself killed because he simply does not see you as a worthy partner for his king.

👑Neferpitou and Youpi adore you and whilst Meruem is on alert whenever they are near you, it's nothing compared to hen Pouf is with you in the room. Meruem will never, NEVER, trust this guy when he's near you. The only person he really trusts you around is Komugi, since he cares about her as well and since Komugi never judges you to begin with. He feels sorry if he should have left any sort of trauma on you because he used to try to really break you so you would finally behave. That makes him really careful when he's now acting around you because he's somewhat worried he'll break you if he isn't gentle enough with you.

Hanji/Hange Zoë

🔬Hanji is someone who doesn't care about this at all. They're incredibly open-minded with everything and tend to be very special and peculiar in their own sense. Similar to their fascination with Titans, they will suddenly become to an unhealthy extent curious about ADHD, staying up nights to read books and maybe even ask people who know someone who has this disorder. It adds oddly up to their obsession they have with you and whenever you do something that is connected to this, they get scarily interested about it. Their interest about ADHD would go because of their darling from zero to thousand in only a short amount of time.

🔬Hange doesn't mind it that much if you don't really pay attention to things even though it can be a bit embarassing from time to time since they tend to start rambling exitedly about things only to realize a lot more later that you stopped listening ages ago. But Hange isn't someone who gets discouraged very easily and won't blame you for it. They are very lenient when it comes to you forgetting things, since they are a bit like you in that matter, even though they only forget things which aren't important for them. Also shows a lot of tolerance when you keep forgetting to do your cores or just lose motivation in it. They are also on the messier and forgetful side when it comes to taking care of themself. But what counts for them, doesn't count for you so the moment they thing you start lacking to look after your own health or the conditions you live in because of your laziness become too extreme, they will step in and help you with cleaning up. Whilst trying to keep you as motivated for as long as possible, they won't be angry or disappointed if they have to do it alone because you lost motivation.

🔬If you should show symptoms of hyperactivity and too much enthusiasm and excitement, you're a match made in heaven for Hanji, even though Levi tends to call you two a match made in hell because now he has to endure two of you. But honestly, Hanji shows a lot of similarities in this case. They can be really thrilled and driven by an invisible motor as well, not to mention that if they're too excited about something, they tend to cut people off before they finished speaking as well. But they do know when to stay quiet or become more serious whilst you don't, but it isn't like Hanji gets ever annoyed or angry with you. They find it even quite endearing since you remind them so much of themself. For the most part they will let you be, even though definitely stopping you when realizing that you're about to get too reckless. I can see them as even being the type of person who will be all excited with you together and do stupid things together. Not only because they just really enjoy being silly together, but also to look after you.

🔬They're not surprisingly very much angered whenever someone makes a wrong comment about their darling's way of acting around. Hange knows that people tend to get annoyed with heir darling and even see them as a nuisance. And that makes them mad. They really have no tolerance for such people who think they can judge someone without even knowing how they feel. And it's their darling we're talking about after all which makes them even more furious. Even Levi has to be a bit more careful. Hange definitely shows a lot more patience with him, Erwin and people they're close too, but even here they can become eerily quiet the moment someone says something too extreme or they notice that you're hurt. Whilst not caring what other people, except their darling, think about them, they care very much when it comes to whether people think bad about their s/o or not. Especially if you should feel insecure they would be a lot more on alert.

🔬Hanji's acceptance is a good thing to have since they don't judge you or get annoyed with you being like you are. They want you to be yourself after all. They don't baby you like many others, but it does lead to them becoming a bit more clingy, especially if you're the hyperactive type. If you don't live together with them, they always pop up very often to check if they have to help you a bit or not. Also has this odd quirk of making notes about your behavior because at this point it's safe to say that they reached the point of unhealthy obsessiveness, everything you do is being absobered by them. It's a bit unhinging to witness, but it makes it easier for Hanji to deal with your behavior even better since they know at some point what to expect and how to counter if it might endanger you. One thing, you're not going to be scout under any means because Hanji totally fears that either you'll lose focus or get too overxcited, and not in a good way.

Levi Ackerman

⚔️At the beginning it might be a bit more hard for Levi to adjust to all of this. Given the fact that he's obsessive and collects rapidly informations about you, he'll find out about this very early on, talking to neighbours, your friends and other people you're familiar with. And of course he'll start informing himself about all of this, but he has just a short string of patience and is easy to annoy. He knows he really can't let his ire out on you since you can't do anything about it, but sometimes your behavior just really tugs on his nerves since he isn't the best with people who are either unfocused or too active for their own good. So similar to Ciel at the beginning he might distance himself out of fear to say something too harsh to you. He doesn't want to scare you.

⚔️Levi would step in a lot into your private life if you should keep forgetting to clean up a lot and lose daily things. Neglecting hygiene, tidiness and maybe even your own health is such a huge red cross for him. He would be definitely a lot more controlling than usual and come over everyday to check on you and the condition your house is in. And if he thinks it isn't cleaned up? Guess who's staying for a bit longer to wash and scrub, doing your laundry and organizing your things? He might even try due to that to speed things up to get you to move in with him quicker so he can really make sure that you will never forget about such important things again. I can funnily see him as someone who won't be as mad as some people might think he would be. He's of course pissed that you either forget to look after the house and you or just lack motivation, but it gets attenuated due to him knowing that you don't do it because you're really lazy or because you aren't interested in it. He will still try to push you into at least helping a bit, but he can and will play the role of the housewife. Prefers it maybe even that way since he gets things done like he wants too.

⚔️With a more pumped up darling he will have troubles at first. It isn't like he isn't used to such people, he knows quite a few of those. But with his s/o this is just a bit of a different story since he really tries to avoid being harsh or mean to them which he would have been normally with those kind of persons. He might seek some advice from Hange since he knows that he is not the best when it comes to being patient. He might even let you spend time with them when he gets a bit overwhelmed with your energy since despite being annoyed with them most of the time, Levi trusts them. He would be gone for a bit to collect his thoughts before coming back with his emotions having calmed down. Will with time however learn how to deal with you being all bubbly and hyped. But he also will definitely watch over you more carefully since due to your too active personality you tend to do things that might be dangerous. It's one of the reasons he often gets mad at Hanji when he has to leave you alone. They are willing to do such things with you which triggers his overprotective side a lot.

⚔️Disrespectful brats aren't tolerated from him in all scenarios. But when it comes to disrespecting his darling, his reaction is definitely the most intense one. Whilst Levi admits that he himself struggles sometimes and finds himself annoyed by this, he would never insult you on purpose and if he does he apologizes later on. There's of course a difference between just pointing something out or really being mean with the intention to be. Levi can tell which is which and will act accordingly. He doesn't say anything if someone just points something out with the intention of wanting to be friendly since he's like this as well. But if someone insults you or pokes fun at you that's a different story in which Levi will shove someone's face into the dirt with demanding an apology. Would be a bit nagging when you seem to get discouraged very easily, complaining that you're too sensitive, but would still be in the end always comfort you when you're down.

⚔️Will literally not let you do anything dangerous since he's worried you'll lose focus and hurt yourself because you aren't careful enough. If you should even mention that you want to be a scout or anything like this, you'll have him instantly being over you and ordering you to stop thinking such a ridiculous thing. Levi tends to overthink everything a bit due to you having ADHD. Hange is probably the person he's the most calm around when with you since he knows that they are the last person who would judge you and from all persons he knows, he just has the most trust in them even though he tends to give them a rather long and harsh lecture whenever they tried something stupid with you.

[kittyprincessofcats]

RWBY Volume 8, Episode 14 - The Final Word

Thoughts on the final episode of RWBY Vol 8 under the cut.

Also, I will from now on reblog spoilers for Volume 8, which will be tagged with “RWBY v8 spoilers” if you want to blacklist them.

tw: Since the episode itself had the same content warning, I should mention that I will be discussing themes of suicide in this post.

Also, everything I’m about to say is *my* personal opinion. I’m not trying to tell anyone else that they’re supposed to feel the same way about anything in this episode. In turn, please don’t tell me how to feel about it either.

- I should start by bringing up what I said in my post about episode 13, because all of that is going to become relevant now:

So... that all aged... interestingly.

- Next, I should say that I actually did end up getting spoiled about Penny’s death. I was trying really hard and didn’t go into any tags, but literally one day before this episode was released to the public, Tumblr recommended me two blogs with the titles “Penny deserved better” and “Justice for Penny Polendina”… so I drew my conclusions from that. And while I think those blog titles are valid sentiments, I do wish people would wait a week before putting spoilers in a blog title. But then again, I was weirdly glad to get spoiled this time, because it meant I was more emotionally prepared.

- And now, on to my very controversial opinion about this finale: I… uhm… I actually liked it. There, I said it. I liked it. I’m seeing a lot of takes from people who hated it, and that’s totally fair, but personally, to my own surprise, I liked it. (It’s kind of interesting that last time I said it would be “awful writing” to kill Penny now, then it happened, now the whole fandom is complaining about it being awful writing… and I’m here going “actually… that wasn’t so bad”.) That’s not to say that I’m a fan of everything in this finale, especially re: Penny – but overall, the good outweighed the bad *for me*. (Stressing again that this is just how *I* feel.)

- I think the main reason I feel that way is because I honestly expected way worse. If you read that thing I wrote last week^, you see I expected multiple character deaths. I was incredibly nervous. And after I’d already spent a few minutes genuinely thinking Yang died (because of a badly worded episode 13 spoiler I accidently saw), I had to think about the kind of deaths that would be a dealbreaker for me and make me drop the show. (Let’s say it like this: If either of Bumbleby ever died for real, I would be done with this show immediately.) So, in short, I was terrified of the finale and expected it to be the kind of finale that ruins the show for me (which has happened in far too many fandoms so far) – and it wasn’t. I have mixed feelings about how they handled Penny’s story, too, but this finale didn’t ruin the show for me and I honestly felt way worse after the Volume 3 finale. Maybe that’s because I wasn’t prepared for it at the time, but this time I spent a whole week being super anxious, so when I’d actually finished the finale, I just felt overwhelming relief.

- Okay, so let’s talk Penny: Back in Episode 12, I already wasn’t a huge fan of the idea to make her human (if that even is what she was?), but I think I said I’d reserve judgment on it until we see where they go with it. Obviously, it feels unsatisfying to have the show just kill her off after everyone’s been trying to save her all volume. And of course, it’s never fun to see a favorite character of yours (and Penny is definitely a favorite of mine) get killed off. The way it happened (a character who’s been trying to sacrifice herself the whole volume finally doing so through assisted suicide, even though there could have been several potential ways to still save her) feels incredibly unsatisfying and depressing as well. The “heroic sacrifice” cliché isn’t new, but there’s still a difference between a sacrifice that feels necessary and like it really was the only way (Hazel, Vine) and one that feels more like a character being over-eager to sacrifice themselves even though there might have been alternatives (Penny). So really, I understand why people don’t like this, especially because the narrative, so far, seems to validate Penny’s choice by having her plan work. And that does send the opposite of the “fight for every life”, “no one is replaceable” message this volume had been going for until then.

- And this is why, I think Penny’s death is meant to be awful. Volume 9 might prove me wrong on this, but I think we haven’t seen the end of this storyline yet. For me personally, it’s too early to judge this plot-point by itself because it depends a lot on how they deal with it in the aftermath and how things go from here. (For instance: I hated Pyrrha’s death at first because going into a fight she knew she couldn’t win also felt like a needless heroic sacrifice to me. It was only how the aftermath of it was handled from there that made me be okay with it.) So basically, what I’m asking is: How will the other characters handle Penny’s death now? Will Ruby (or anyone else) get angry at Jaune for agreeing to kill her? How will Ruby grieve in general? And, most importantly: Will the narrative really treat Penny’s choice as the “right” one or will it challenge that view? (And was there maybe more going on that we know because I’ve been reading those “Penny is alive” theories and… oh boy.) So yeah – for me it depends on how it gets handled from here.

- Also, I just want to say that I really appreciate RT putting a suicide trigger warning in the beginning of the episode and I wish people wouldn’t twist that into a bad thing. (I’ve seen some takes along the lines of “If they had to put a warning, that means they were aware it’s a harmful message, so that makes it worse” and… please don’t do that. Content creators putting trigger warnings on things is a good thing. Also, this might be a controversial take, but I don’t think fiction always has to “send a good message and teach you a lesson.” The important thing is that RT were aware that this episode could be upsetting/distressing to people and that’s why they put a warning and the suicide hotline’s number in the description.)

- Anyway, I’ve been rambling for too long. My point is: I understand the criticisms and agree with some of them, but I hope the writers know what they’re doing here and I want to believe that they do. I also love all the theories about Penny coming back (in Winter’s mind, for example) and I think they’re not actually that unlikely. And if Penny doesn’t come back, then honestly, I’m okay with that, too. At the end of the day, she’s a fictional character. I can always go and read fanfictions where she’s alive and lives happily ever after with Ruby and nothing that happens in canon can ever take that away. Canon only has as much power as you want it to have. I can enjoy the canon show and the story they’re telling (even if Penny is dead for good this time), while still also enjoying my AUs where she’s fine. One doesn’t harm the other.

- (Also, let me take this moment to shamelessly promote my favorite cartoon show because I think this is relevant to the interests of anyone who hates the “person who’s been trying to sacrifice themselves the whole time ends up doing just that” story: The main character in She-Ra and the Princesses of Power is self-sacrificial to the point of it being unhealthy, but the show explicitly doesn’t treat this as a good thing. When she tries to sacrifice herself for the greater good in the final arc and says it’s better that way, this is treated as a problem, and the lesson she ends up learning in the end is her life has value, too, and that she deserves to be happy. (The show’s also very gay.)

- I don’t know if brought any of this across properly. Basically… I’m not happy about where they went with Penny either, but I am okay with it. I still enjoyed the finale and will continue to enjoy the show. And I want to focus on the things that make me happy about RWBY and made me happy about the finale, so I’ll talk about the rest of the episode now (while rewatching it because I’ll forget stuff otherwise):

- Have I mentioned I really love the Volume 8 opening? Because I really do.

- That shot of the destroyed whale is still awesome.

- I love how the episode opens with all the fights we left off with (Winter vs. Ironwood, Penny vs. Cinder, Harriet vs. Qrow, Ruby vs. Neo) and cuts between them. Also, the music is amazing!

- Elm admitting that Harriet is their friend and that being what finally gets through to her was a nice conclusion to their little arc, I guess. Vine’s sacrifice and his admittance that they’re his friends and he’s doing this for them were touching. Honestly, Harriet is right to blame herself for his death. That said, while this volume made me strongly dislike her, I do hope she now gets an arc about actually dealing with her grief and changing. I think that would be way more interesting to see than still having her be bitter, especially after what happened in this episode.

- Qrow causing good luck to stop the bomb was a nice little moment and honestly makes sense. Good luck and bad luck are just a matter of perspective, after all. What’s bad luck for yourself will be good luck for your enemies and vice versa. So, maybe Qrow technically caused “bad luck” for the bomb? Either way, I like the idea of him realizing that his semblance is more than what he thought.

- Cinder breathing fire during the fight was awesome. I need GIFs of that.

- Blake was amazing in this episode! I love that she didn’t let her grief over Yang consume her, but got up and kept fighting, kicked Cinder in the face and told Weiss to get up. Good stuff!

- I wonder if Cinder’s “You should have never been born” line to Ruby was just a generic “I hate you” line or meant something more.

- Do people honestly think that Cinder betraying Neo was unexpected or like… super unreasonable for a villain? Neo did threaten her – most typical villains don’t react well to their underlings threatening them, so I really don’t see why some people are so shocked or downright offended about this (is it just because they like Neo?).

- Weiss being the last one standing and using Blake’s weapon in the fight was absolutely amazing.

- The tragedy of Jaune sending Nora to bring the Huntsmen and Huntresses back through the portal while not knowing the portal is a one-way deal…

- Cinder knowing that Salem is back because her Grimm arm started hurting was a super interesting moment. And Weiss’ shocked face in that moment was quite interesting, too.

- I wonder if Penny really meant dying when she said “Let me choose this one thing”. To me, it sounded more like she meant choosing the next Winter Maiden. Also, her “trust me” to Jaune is an interesting line. Between that and us not seeing how that conversation goes on, I wonder if there’s something we don’t know here. (*puts on my “Penny is alive” tinfoil hat*)

- I’m glad they at least didn’t graphically show Penny’s death – which is an interesting choice again, because this show doesn’t usually shy away from making deaths graphic and portraying them in all their brutality. So, the fact that we don’t see the act itself and then just cut to Penny’s conversation with Winter was interesting. (But I am glad about it because I didn’t want to see that.) It might honestly just be because of the nature of Penny’s death that they didn’t want to show it too much (and that’s fair).

- “You were my friend.” Gosh, this rewatch is making me cry now 😭. (I also think it’s interesting that Winter calls herself a machine and Penny is now the one who corrects her. It’s a nice callback to Ruby telling Penny she’s their friend and “not just a machine”.)

- I was also just reminded that Penny died thinking Ruby was dead… ouch. This possibly hurts me more than Penny’s death itself.

- People have also pointed out that when Penny transfers the powers to Winter, her aura looks yellow (like Jaune’s) with only some green sparks (like Penny’s). Hmm… I really wonder if there’s more going on here.

- “I won’t be gone. I’ll be part of you.” Who’s cutting onions in here?

- Honestly, the main reason I kind of forgave them for killing Penny was because THAT MOMENT of Winter opening her eyes with the powers while that epic music plays was just amazing to witness. And her fight with Cinder? EPIC. BREATHTAKING. BEAUTIFUL. I’m not even that into the idea of Winter as the Winter Maiden (I honestly thought Penny, the robot girl, becoming the Winter Maiden was a much more interesting plot), but the way it was done in this episode was great. I’m glad we’re finally getting that rivalry between Winter and Cinder, because their arcs parallel each other in so many ways. And I love the symbolism of Winter only getting the powers that Ironwood chose for her after she betrayed Ironwood. I like the idea that she only became worthy of them after turning on Ironwood (which does work well with her Volume 7 arc).

- Oh, by the way, I really hate the “Team RWBY will become the four maidens eventually” theory. Even if it didn’t require characters to die, I just think it would be cheap and way too obvious, and I think it’s boring to throw all the magic powers at the main characters. So, if they only made Winter the Winter Maiden so she can eventually die and pass it on to Weiss, I’ll be very annoyed. (But I hope that’s not where this is going.)

- I’m also just realizing that Cinder asking “How am I supposed to take her power if she’s dead?” about Penny a few episodes ago was foreshadowing… damn.

- Jaune’s sword breaking was a really cool and symbolic moment, too.

- Winter trying to save Weiss from falling and not reaching her in time really got to me. I’m mostly not that affected by any of Team RWBY falling into the void because… come on, we know they’ll be fine. But Winter thinking her little sister just died is… oof. Maybe it’s because I have two younger sisters, but stuff like that really gets to me.

- Also, Winter going through that portal and seeing her family after she just (as far as she knows) lost Weiss… ouch. They never got to all reunite with each other (yet).

- I absolutely LOVED that final scene between Salem and Cinder. They’re both such fascinating characters and I just live for their interactions. Cinder talking herself down (even though she got the relics, so she knows she succeeded at the most important part) was amazing on her part. She did learn from Salem! It’s also interesting that even though she got what Salem wanted, Cinder didn’t get what she herself wanted (the Maiden Powers). I feel like that’s eventually going to become important.

- I wonder if Salem believed Cinder’s lies or not. I’ve seen some interesting opinions in both directions here. (Also, again, I don’t get why some people are so shocked and offended about Cinder lying? I’ve seen so many “I hope she pays for her lies” takes and… really? That’s her biggest crime in your eyes? Lying to another villain?? I don’t think any of you villain-haters feel bad for Salem here, so why… oh. Oh, nevermind, I just understood. They’re not mad that Cinder lied, they’re mad because they wanted Salem to kill her. Gosh, that’s so dumb. Face it, people: That’s not going to happen because Salem still needs the Fall Maiden’s powers. She’s not going to kill Cinder anytime before Cinder opens the last vault.)

- Cinder killing Watts with the staff was kinda funny, tbh. Also Salem’s proud little smirk in that scene kills me.

- “And that’s checkmate.” THAT. Okay, THAT was the best line in the entire episode, I don’t make the rules. What an epic moment!! Gosh, have I mentioned I love Cinder to death? What a queen! This volume really completely changed my opinion on her. I’ve already said that she’s my standout character of the volume, and I stand by that. It was her volume in so many ways and it’s so fitting that she gets to say the last line. It’s also such an interesting line in so many ways: 1) Because this episode is called “The Final Word”, is the only episode in this volume that doesn’t have a one-word title, and the actual final word of the episode is “checkmate”, it implies that “Checkmate” is the real, hidden title of the episode. And that fits so well! They could have easily just named the episode “Checkmate”, but revealing it like this works even better. 2) I also love the chess symbolism in this volume in general. There was a really great analysis about it on here somewhere, but basically: Salem is the king, Cinder is the queen (the king can’t die and barely moves, the queen is out there getting rid of opposing player pieces). And the interesting thing about that here is that the king can’t actually checkmate anyone else, only other chess pieces can. So, it’s very fitting that Cinder is the one who says “checkmate”. Also, in a game of chess, you often have to sacrifice your own pieces to win, which is what Cinder did. 3) I also LOVE the realization on Ironwood’s face when he realizes that he’s been so paranoid about Salem, but he’s actually been playing Cinder all along. (Someone else on here pointed out that there’s something super poetic about Cinder, someone who was very much a victim of Atlas’ systemic problems, being the one to defeat Ironwood and destroy his kingdom. Ironwood was ready to sacrifice all the poor people from Mantle for his own goal, and a poor person who was hurt by people in Atlas is the one who destroyed him. Yeah, yeah, Cinder’s evil and all, but I love it! 4) It’s also really interesting to me that Salem said “This game is not yours to win, it’s mine” to Cinder in the first episode of this Volume, but in the end, Salem ended up being gone for the entire last part of the volume and Cinder is the one who got to say “checkmate.” IT’S JUST SO GOOD.

- And ngl, I’m super happy for Cinder. She really got it all. Yeah okay, she didn’t get the Maiden Powers (and I hope she never does, because one person being two maidens at once is lame), but she got the relics, got rid of her enemies and co-workers (or so she thinks), destroyed the kingdom that she was a slave to, got back into Salem’s good graces… good for her! And apparently one of the buildings that you see being flooded was the Glass Unicorn? Amazing. Love that.

- (Yes, I’m team “redemption for Cinder please”, but come on… it was never going to happen this volume. And if it never happens, that’s okay, too – I’m loving her as a villain as well!)

- Also, I hope that all the people who were specifically criticizing Cinder for not being a competent enough villain are very happy now. Because there you have the competent villain you said you wanted! I mean, I’m saying this as someone who used to criticize Cinder’s character for not being interesting/deep enough. I used to say that I’d like a backstory or something that makes her more interesting/compelling to me. But as soon as we got that backstory, I happily switched sides to team “I like Cinder now”. So, I better not hear any complaining from the “I just want her to be a more competent villain” faction now!

- Yeah, I admit I’m getting annoyed with the Cinder hate. Everyone has a right to their opinions, but it gets frustrating when you’re going through the tag of a character you like and half of the tag are people talking about how badly they want that character to die. (Maybe use a seperate tag for it?)

- (I’m just realizing that I said “Well, at least it was only one character death” earlier, but people like Ironwood and Watts actually did die… I just didn’t count those because I don’t care. Sorry not sorry.)

- We decimated Salem’s faction quite a bit this volume, didn’t we? There’s only Cinder, Tyrian, and Mercury left. I wonder if Salem will get some new people on her side.

- Overall, while I did like this episode, I feel like Volume 8 got weaker towards the end. Most Volumes were at their best towards the end, but I feel like episodes 8-11 were the strongest parts of Volume 8, while episodes 12-14 were still good, but not as good.

- My prediction is that Volume 9 will (of course) be Tearm RWBY’s way out of the void (or whatever that place where they ended up is called) – And I quite like the theory that we won’t see the other characters at all and it’ll be focused only on what’s happening in the void.

[animeyanderelover]

Omg, you’re so fast writing one of my request. Also thank you so much. Can I request minato fall for kushina apprentice? Kushina having student who want to study about fuinjutsu, and she already thought the student like her sister.

You sent another ask in where you said that the age gap between Kushina and the reader are 3 years. Don’t worry, I tend to sometimes be a bit rash too when I write something and forget the details.

Tw: Yandere themes, unhealthy mindset, unhealthy relationship obsessiveness, unhealthy relationship, unhealthy mindset

s/o is Kushina’s apprentice

⚡️Kushina is Minato’s best friend and when she told him one day very excitedly that she had started to teach her own student, he was happy for her. She was after all in a suitable age to finally have her own student. The s/o could be someone from her clan who was sent to her because she’s very excellent when it comes to fuinjutsu. Or she could be a normal shinobi from the Leaf who wanted her help since she’s from the Uzumaki clan who is famous for their strength when it comes to such jutsus.

⚡️Let’s just assume that this was when both of them were 24 (they died way to young), that means you would be 21. And Minato wanted to meet Kushina’s new pupil, displaying interest to meet her since Kushina often boosted about the progress she made with her fuinjutsu. He could probably teach her a bit too or learn the one or another thing for himself. He offered to help out a bit.

⚡️And Kushina eventually agreed, one day bringing him with her to introduce you two. And that’s when Minato discovered quite the interesting thing, he had originally assumed that you were a genin, someone who was around 10 years younger than Kushina. But you were a grownup ninja. Kushina definitely hadn’t told him that. But it wasn’t something to marvel over too much, it wasn’t uncommon that even older ninjas asked younger ones to help them out. So he just introduced himself politely and observed Kushina teaching you.

⚡️It was obvious to him that Kushina and you were very close. It was the way she acted around you, a bit more protective than with others. It was also how she seemed to tense up around every men and women who seemed to show interest in you or flirted with you. She was always instantly there to be ready to start shouting if someone made you uncomfortable. For Minato it was amusing to watch and yet he was glad that you two seemed to have such a closer relationship than just student and teacher. You two were like sisters.

⚡️You most likely often tagged along with Kushina and since she spent quite some time with Minato, that meant you two got to spend more time together too. And when you two trained it happened here and there that Minato somewhat squeezed himself in and taught you some jutsus too. He was open if you had some requests for him or questions about how you could work on your taijutsu or new ninjutsu. And he was there to help you. And Kushina felts tad conflicted about this. On the one hand she appreciated the help from him and that he was so supportive of you. On the other hand she was also a bit jealous because she wanted to teach you some things too. But most of all she was cautious. She trusted Minato and if it would come down to it, she would preferably have him as your boyfriend. But this was her sister-like protectiveness.

⚡️Minato was at first only someone close to you who took sometimes the role of a Sensei to teach you something new. And this would make this all so unbelievably shameful and uncomfortable for him when he found himself having romantic feelings for you. It feels downright wrong for him and especially if you should see him as a sensei and even call him as one, it would make things so embarrassing and awkward. He would all of a sudden be more tense around you, not knowing anymore how to act around you.

⚡️The age gap would also have an influence in here. I believe that Minato would be the most comfortable with someone who’s around his age and whilst three years doesn’t seem that much, it’s still quite the gap for him. He himself is a young man, but suddenly he feels so...old. And it would be especially noticeable for him if they are certain trends going around that your age group does, but his doesn’t. It really gives him the feeling of being outdated.

⚡️On top of that you’re the official student of Kushina and she views you as a sister and the same goes for you. And he just has such a hard time imagining himself with Kushina’s student. It feels wrong and yet he’s in love with you. If you would be a friend, her real sister, anyone else he wouldn’t have too much of a problem with flirting and winning your heart over. But it is just the whole student and teacher thing and the age gap that have him stuck in awkwardness.

⚡️Kushina has a nose for things like this and knows Minato since years, noticing his newfound stiffness around you. And she will count one and one together, leading to her finding out about it. And whilst her reaction wouldn’t be that scary like with some stranger on the street, she would be most of all more stunned by this. Because she didn’t expect Minato to be in love with her student. She took him as the type who would be too uncomfortable with such things. And yet it happened.

⚡️Minato would be totally ashamed of himself, especially if Kushina confronts him about this. It’s just three years, but the Sensei-student thing has him feel like some sort of pedo. It might even be that bad that he apologizes to Kushina about this, looking like he could hide somewhere right now. And Kushina would be a mix of angry and yet pity him. She didn’t expect it too so she can only imagine how shameful and undignified this must be for Minato.

⚡️It wouldn’t be all that good for his reputation either when the word spreads that he’s together with Kushina’s student even if she is already an adult. Minato himself also wouldn’t want to do that. This leads me to the belief that he would wait until you aren’t a student of hers anymore. This can take of course a longer time, but he can’t bring himself to do this. For now he’ll just be satisfied with being a sensei of yours who teaches you a bit if you ask him too.

⚡️Kushina almost feels sorry that she has him pinning after you so long. But she can’t deny that she also respects it that he chose to wait until you’re out of the term student. He wouldn’t do anything. No flirting, nothing that will make you think that he likes you. He wants you to focus on your training right now.

⚡️He would only start officially wooing you after you finally aren’t a student anymore because this will erase a part of his incredible awkwardness. He knows that just because you aren’t her student anymore, that doesn’t mean that you and Kushina will just stop seeing each other. You two are like sisters. So he knows he has to watch the back of his neck because Kushina definitely isn’t above sparing him from a hit if she thinks he deserved it.

⚡️He would feel so awkward if you still see him as a sensei and even call him one. It makes the age gap appear so much bigger than it actually is. Kushina might help him because she knows that he truly loves you and as I already said, from all people in this world she would feel the most at ease if her best friend would be your partner.

⚡️I feel like Minato would be a bit more controlling and stricter on you than he would be if you would be the same age. The fact remains that you are younger than him and Minato just feels like you still aren’t grownup enough, leading to him babying you or just taking charge of certain things from time to time since he thinks you don’t have enough experience yet.

[animeyanderelover]

I've looked through your "sharing a darling" post and I've been inspired. I'd love to see Tsunade with a darling, who's Orochimaru's little sister. I imagine she and Tsuna probably were friends before she deserted the village with Orochi. And when she's nowhere near as heartless as Orochi, she's a morally-gray type of person. [With romantic yandere!Tsunade + platonic!yandere Orochimaru]

I’m glad you got inspired by my post☺️.

Tw: Yandere themes, unhealthy mindset, unhealthy relationship, possessiveness, obsessiveness, paranoia, violence

Darling is Orochimaru’s little sister

🐍🐌We’ve often talked about this, but Orochimaru has a weird way of showing his care, especially if it comes to persons he’s obsessed with. If you would be a test object he would most likely show genuine interest in you because you’re very useful. But how does this work when you’re his sister? It’s suspected that a part of why Orochimaru became the way he is like he is because he wanted to leave the painful memories of the past behind, including the death of his parents. So you were the only family he had left.

🐍🐌His way of caring showed himself from a very young age on with wanting you to get stronger. Orochimaru has a dislike for the fragility of life and it’s most likely that you and him shared more or less the same interest in kinjutsu. I can’t say that you had the same obsession as him with it, but you just tagged along with him.

🐍🐌Since Tsunade and Orochimaru were on the same team it was understandable that you were friends with them. Jiraiya was probably the guy who often asked you out on dates and made some less appropriate comments about you, earning a hit on the head from Tsunade and a unnerving look from Orochimaru. Tsunade was most likely friends with you because you were the only other girl from the three.

🐍🐌At the beginning it was just a friendship, a strong one. Tsunade was often a bit worried about you, knowing how twisted Orochimaru could be. You never minded, being used to all of this since you had grown up with him together.

🐍🐌Tsunade started becoming a tad more clingy and overprotective after Nawaki had died. It was somewhat of the beginning of her Yandere tendencies and it stayed that way even after she had got to know Dan. You often visited with her together Nawaki’s grave and showed him respect for his actions. But you were glad that Tsunade had found someone else who made her happy since you had suffered with her after the death of her brother. Because despite being slightly influenced from Orochimaru’s twisted personality you had always been the one who had cared more and showed it more.

🐍🐌Somehow I think after Dan died as well and you were again there to comfort Tsunade you somehow started to see things a bit more from Orochimaru’s side, understanding why he loathed the fragility of life. Because humans were so delicate that you could lose them at any moment. I would even go as far that Tsunade’s devastation over Nawaki and Dan left a huge impact on you and led you to becoming who you were.

🐍🐌Tsunade was at first most likely only a platonic Yandere for you, still seeing you as her best friend. She became incredibly clingy and overprotective and also started greatly disliking your brother. Why? Because Orochimaru gave off the feeling that you didn’t mean anything to him and he wouldn’t even be sad if you would die. He hadn’t looked affected when Nawaki had died and he hadn’t looked really affected when Dan had died. So it was no wonder that Tsunade was terrified of losing you as well and needing to see how not even you as Orochimaru’s sister would lead him to show any sorrow.

🐍🐌It was at the beginning just the genuine desire to keep you safe and alive. But with time it turned into something more intense for Tsunade. The knowledge that she could lose the person who had been always there for you made her go almost crazy. She might not even have realized when exactly it had happened. But one day you just gave her a warm smile...And Tsunade felt her heart speeding up in her chest rapidly and butterflies erupting from the pit of her stomach.

🐍🐌Orochimaru watched all of this with narrowed eyes, the way how Tsunade started clinging onto you tightly and the way she looked at you. It didn’t matter to him that Tsunade deserved happiness after everything that had happened to her. He didn’t want you to become weak by becoming too sentimental which you obviously were. It wasn’t like you had already changed a lot because of him, your view of the world having become slightly distorted because of his influence and the still fresh memory of Tsunade mourning over her brother and her lover. And I bet Orochimaru used that to control you a bit more.

🐍🐌Tsunade on the other hand worried because she noticed clearly how much you had changed in those last years and she knew too well who the culprit was. So she tried to keep you away from Orochimaru by often going out with you and asking you to spend time with him. And this didn’t suit with Orochimaru who would have preferred to continue training and experimenting with you.

🐍🐌It was most likely out of loyalty and own belief that you decided to follow Orochimaru into exile, some of his beliefs having influenced you as well. And Tsunade was once again completely devastated for losing another precious person to her, asking herself what she had done so terribly wrong in life to lose everyone she seemed to love.

🐍🐌Being Orochimaru’s sister and most likely on the same level of strength as him made you very respected and worshipped by his underlings like Kabuto and Kimimaro. And despite searching with him for a way to gain complete immortality You never agreed with his opinions all the time, disliking the way he treated others. You were somewhat of a mother figure for many people under him and were even known to forgive people different than Orochimaru. And Orochimaru didn’t really like this, fearing that your softness would be one day your death sentence. Orochimaru isn’t the type to start a fight over this, at least not in the classic sense. But he would cruelly tease your weak spots to get a reaction out of you and to try to reason with you that being so soft wouldn’t bring you anywhere.

🐍🐌I guess that Tsunade’s heart broke even more after hearing what you were doing, experimenting on people to gain immortality. She blamed herself for this, feeling like she should have ripped you away from your brother’s tight grip sooner since he had been the one who had corrupted you like this.

🐍🐌Tsunade met you most likely again whilst Naruto and Jiraiya were searching for her to convince her to become the fifth Hokage. She was already pissed enough at Orochimaru, never having forgiven him for ruining you like this. But she was also scared when seeing you again, freezing at first. She just really hoped that there was still some part of the old you left and not having become as cruel and heartless as Orochimaru had. You were also shocked to see her again, feeling a bit conflicted about how to face her after all those years again.

🐍🐌During the fight of the three you didn’t really participate, watching more from a distance. Not because you were lazy, but because you and Orochimaru knew that you might switch sides during the battle. Because you still cared. Tsunade was still your friend. So when Orochimaru wanted to kill Naruto and Tsunade kept sacrificing herself you would have lied if you would have said that you didn’t care. Instead you might have even tried to stop Orochimaru from completely killing her, that was at least until she released her jutsu and showed what she was capable off.

🐍🐌Different from Orochimaru you also never disliked Naruto and saw him as a poor excuse. You saw potential and passion in him, reminding you of Nawaki. That’s why you wanted to keep him alive. Because he had helped Tsunade out of her misery. And you were proud of her when she officially became Hokage, sending a anonymous gift and a small letter in which you congratulated her and told her how happy you were for her. And Tsunade knew too well who had sent her this.

🐍🐌I feel like after Sasuke joined Orochimaru you might have even gone as far as sometimes giving the village hints about his development without anyone finding out. And whenever such small notes received in the village, dropping hints about current whereabouts or informations about possible future plans from Orochimaru Tsunade always felt hopeful and encouraged that the old You was still there, that you weren’t completely possessed by evil like your older brother was.

🐍🐌I feel like you traveled back to the village after Sasuke killed Orichimaru. You had no reason to stay after all. And for someone who was known as an S-rated criminal you came over pretty calm when suddenly appearing in front of the gates of your old village. And best belief that when Tsunade Heard- that you were back, she completely lost it and instantly stormed towards you, not knowing whether to yell at you for doing such terrible things to her and other people or cry and suffocate you in a hug out of relief. In the end it became a mix made out of both.

🐍🐌You were taken under custody back into the village, your reputation being a bit saved because of all the small hints you had given them through the years. That and the fact that you answered all questions honestly have some ninjas troubles to judge you rightfully, not knowing whether to think of you as a good or bad person. On the one hand you had experimented on others, you had used the same jutsu as Orochimaru to reach immortality and many other things. But on the other hand there were countless tellings and rumors from many places and people that you had freed them out of Orochimaru’s grip or had even helped villages in need on your journeys. That made it somewhat troublesome whether to decide if you belonged in prison or not.

🐍🐌In the end it was decided to not send you into prison, mainly because Tsunade had insisted on it, but also because many had agreed that you had done many good things after all and had come back on your own free will, not to mention that you had told them everything they had wanted and needed answers for for so long. But you were kept under very tight custody, a few Anbu members always watching you.

🐍🐌Shizune knew from Tsunade’s love for you, having witnessed many times how Tsunade had started becoming very talkative about you after a few or many bottles of sake and knew that Tsunade had still feelings for you. And she advices to not risk anything with you, they still didn’t know whether you were on their side or not. Tsunade didn’t want to hear this, but not because she believed that Shizune was wrong, but because she knew that Shizune might be right.

🐍🐌She often came visiting you, wanting to at least talk to you and know why you had done this. Why you had left her. Why you had decided to tag along with Orochimaru. Why you had done all those terrible things and still so much good stuff at the same time. What were your motives?

🐍🐌I feel like Tsunade would be able to start a normal relationship with you after the war and after Orochimaru was reincarnated. Because the main problem before had been that people had, when looking at you, only been able to see Orochimaru. A cruel and sadistic criminal. But for whatever reason Orochimaru had been forgiven after the shinobi war and Tsunade also retired more or less since Kakashi became the sixth Hokage shortly after the war ended. There will be some tension between her and Orochimaru after that, especially since Tsunade still blames Orochimaru for corrupting you like this. Orochimaru wouldn’t be too happy either, but surprisingly he’s more okay than Tsunade with this since he doesn’t hold that much of a personal grudge against her like she does. He did become better after the war and was more accepting with it. As long as you don’t become a weakling that is, power is still a thing and will always be a thing for him.

[animeyanderelover]

Yandere Teru Mikami and Matt Hc’s

Tw: Yandere themes, unhealthy mindset, unhealthy relationship, possessiveness, obsessiveness, delusions, paranoia, controlling Yandere, strict Yandere, isolation, manipulation, sabotage, blackmailing, threatening, clinginess, mentions of kidnapping, death

Teru Mikami

🖋That guy’s probably more terrifying than Light which has to mean something. He’s a possessive, obsessive and delusional Yandere. He thinks of his darling as a present sent by god, a reward for him being such a loyal follower and for that simply believes that the darling belongs to him and only him. It’s his right to know everything about them that there is to know.

🖋He’s also the controlling, strict and worshipper type of Yandere. Mikami expects perfect behavior and due to him holding his darling in really high standards the moment they start acting not accordingly to his image of them he’ll punish them to mold them back into perfect shape. But if they act accordingly to his ideal picture of them expect him to do some worshipping. Definitely the removal and isolating kind of Yandere, being driven by his delusions, possessiveness and paranoia which might even top Light’s.

🖋Cut off all your contacts with everyone you ever knew. Mikami doesn’t share with anyone. His darling was after all sent by god so he views himself as the only one allowed near them. Not only that, but his s/o is also not allowed to talk or even think about anyone that isn’t him.

🖋Delete! That guy killed countless people after receiving the death note and will definitely get rid of someone as soon as he feels like they’re still too present on his darling’s mind. So watch very carefully how you act around him or else a lot of bodies will pile up because of you. We don’t even wanna talk about what happens if he witnesses how someone treats you badly.

🖋It’s preprogrammed that this guy will kidnap his darling, simply because he has too high expectations on them and since they’re constantly under bad influence from other people it’s clear for him that they’ll get tainted someday. And he knows that it’s his job to help them back to perfection, they deserve to be part of the new world. He also has some confidence in himself and feels like there’s no way his darling wouldn’t want him. He has after all the money, looks and intelligence.

🖋Mikami is dangerous since he’s paranoid. He kills everyone you ever loved if he thinks it’ll help you starting to love him as your savior and protector. He’s also more than ready to punish you physically and mentally, justifying it with telling himself that it’ll just help you accepting your place on his side faster. So there’s a high chance that you’ll break.

Matt

🚬Matt is a overprotective and manipulative Yandere. He’s talented when it comes to technology and will set up with the help of his intelligence and Mello scenarios where his darling has to rely on him or where he’ll save them from a tricky situation. He’s also quite the charmer and a sweet talker. He isn’t delusional, but just thinks that he’ll the only one who knows what’s the best for his darling and is for that also the only one who can take properly care of them. He’s aware of his rather abnormal behavior, but tells himself he only wants the best for his s/o.

🚬He’s also borderline clingy and yet still a stalker. He’s always near his darling due to having trackers placed in their phone, clothes and other things he knows they always carry with them. Like this he can always know where his darling is. He’s also obsessive and most likely monitors his darling’s house. He even watches them sleep and feels very much at peace when he can witness his darling in such a quiet, but also vulnerable moment.

🚬Matt is okay with his darling meeting their family and friends, but gets rather jealous when around other people. He’s the type to suddenly interrupt whatever interaction the darling and the other person had, swinging an arm around his darling’s shoulders and acting hostile towards the other person.

🚬Matt isn’t really messy, but ready to kill someone if he’s pushed over his boundaries. Such scenarios would be if someone harasses his darling or is in his eye a threat to them or his relationship with them. He has Mello who he can always ask for help, but prefers to get rid of the person himself, monitoring them for a while whilst making a quick plan on how to murder them without arousing too much suspicion.

🚬If nothing goes wrong Matt might be able to have a normal looking relationship with his darling if we ignore the fact that he always has a tracker on them. Only for security reasons. But the moment they find out about his real feelings or try to leave him is the moment where he would use bribing and blackmailing to make them stay, kidnapping them as a result.

🚬As long as you are unaware Matt will seem like the sweetest boyfriend ever, often gifting you flowers or chocolate and smothering you in compliments and kisses. But once you found out and he has to kidnap you it’ll get a bit more difficult. It’s hard to escape him since he has trackers placed everywhere and is in general very smart when it comes to technology, not to mention that he can always ask Mello for help. He also isn’t above using blackmailing against your close ones to bring you back to his side.