#twitter got this one but im posting it here too bc. you know. thinking thoughts

[baby-yongbok]

OK I saw an anon asking for another hyunjin fic bc of the vmas (tbfh same) and have an idea for another vmas hyunjin fic (if you’re up for it) hear me out:

apparently people were freaking out the other day bc there was this video going around of Sabrina carpenter waving at hyunjin when it turned OUT she was actually waving to Dixie damelio bc they’re friends…what if y/n saw that and thought she was waving at hyunjin too and got super jealous? I know I would even though I love Sabrina lol. so she starts giving hyunjin the cold shoulder and answering in one word responses etc and he’s confused so she says something like “why don’t you ask your new girlfriend” and he thinks it’s cute that she’s jealous and reveals Sabrina was waving to Dixie not him. And even if she did wave to him, he’s 10000% in love with you and absolutely does not want anyone else. Then after their performance and skz is backstage he pulls you into a closet/private room, locks the door and proves to you just how much he wants/worships you and no one else, in his sweaty state 😫 something like that? I haven’t been able to stop thinking about vmas hyunjin either and who can blame me

ps I’ve written to you before and idk if you take emojis for anons but if so can I be 🪽 anon? I love your writing sm and I know I’ll be back! I wanna be friends but I’m a lil shy lol… 🙂

I DID IT. IM SO SORRY FOR THE WAIT, DON'T HATE ME. 😭 Here you go, my love ❣️🪽

Let Me Show You

Hyunjin × Fem!Reader

Genre: Smut

Word Count: 3,442

Warnings: Semi-public sex?, Cum tasting (That should be it ❣️)

✨️Masterlist✨️ ✨️My First VMA Fic✨️

Surely you were seeing things right? You had to be seeing things. Maybe it was the stage lights or the adrenaline from the boys' win getting to you but you swear that the very beautiful and very talented Sabrina Carpenter just tried to shoot her shot at your equally as beautiful and talented boyfriend. Maybe it was harmless, Sabrina is a K-pop fan so maybe she was just trying to grab his attention and give him a friendly thumbs up or something.

You check your phone while you make your way backstage to meet the boys, of course they’re trending on every app that you have but a particular twitter post catches your eye. You stop in the middle of the very busy backstage hallway as you read the video caption for the third time, ‘Are Sabrina Carpenter and Hyunjin flirting?!’. You click on the video quickly, bringing the phone closer to your face as if you could zoom in on the interaction. It’s right there, it’s in very poor quality but it’s there nonetheless. Hyunjin definitely gave Sabrina a look and according to the video he did it more than once. You can feel your stomach turn as an emotion runs over you but you can’t figure out if it’s anger or jealousy, maybe it’s both? You take a deep breath and start walking again, you stuff your phone into your purse and shake your head a bit to try and get your thoughts together. This is a big night for the boys and you don’t want to ruin it for them by having an attitude but you also don’t know how to deal with this cocktail of emotion bubbling in your veins.

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦

“Baby, can you help me put this on?” Hyunjin holds his necklace out in your direction and you take it from him quietly. He furrows his brows a bit before turning around and allowing you to put the jewelry on him. He noticed your shift in attitude since they got their award but he thought that maybe you were just overwhelmed. He watched you as they got ready for their stage, you laughed with everyone and were talking to staff casually but when it came to him you were silent and short spoken. He instantly started replaying the last hour or so in his head. What could he have done to upset you?

“Thank you.” He turns to you and leans in to kiss your cheek but you pull back slightly, looking in the opposite direction. “Angel, is everything alright?”

“Yup.” Your eyes look everywhere but at him, even when he moves to your side to sit next to you.

“Are you sure? You’ve been quiet, did I do something to upset you?” He places his hand on your knee and you promptly cross your legs to get him to move his hand. You shrug your shoulders in response. Your gaze falls on Felix as he takes pictures of everyone in their finished looks. “Baby, come on.”

“Don’t you have someone else to talk to?” You huff, an over exaggerated sigh following your statement.

“Hm? What do you mean?” Hyunjins brows knit together as he racks his brain trying to understand what you’re referring to. 

“Why don’t you ask Sabrina? You seem pretty interested in her.” You roll your eyes and Hyunjin raises his eyebrows at your sharp remark. Felix had shown him a couple of the trending tweets along with the video of Sabrina waving in his direction, they laughed about it and Hyunjin told the guys that she definitely wasn’t waving at him and if she was he didn’t even notice her. 

“Ah, you saw that video?” You shift in your seat scoffing at his question. A small smile pulls at his lips as he watches you, you don’t get jealous often but gosh was it hot. Something about you giving him the cold shoulder turned Hyunjin on, maybe it was the way you rolled your eyes at him and how sassy you were everytime he tried to touch you. Whatever it was, he was enjoying it. 

“Everyone saw the video, so yeah.” You bite back, glancing at him for only a second before looking back over towards the rest of the boys.

“Baby, she wasn’t waving at me and even if she was I didn’t notice her. I was looking at the Stays that were seated in that direction.” Your heart starts to hammer in your chest as his words sink in. You can feel a blush spreading over your cheeks and a tinge of embarrassment in your core. He had pointed out the row of Stays in that direction earlier in the night but in the heat of the moment you completely forgot about it. 

“Why would I look at her when I have the most stunning woman in the world here with me tonight, hm?” He snakes his arm over your shoulder and pulls you into a side hug. “Is my jealous girl blushing?” 

You hide your face in his chest, trying to avoid his gaze. How embarrassing is this? Looks like you got jealous for nothing.

“Look at me, angel.” Hyunjin tries his best to gently pry you away from him but he’s interrupted by Chan calling everyone to get ready to go over to the stage. You look up, only because you know he has to go but his fingers catch your chin before you can look away again. Your shy gaze meets his and he smiles down at you, but it’s not a regular smile. It’s the type that he uses when he’s up to something. He plants a quick kiss on your lips before standing and holding his hand out to you. 

“Come, you can watch on the backstage monitor.” You take his hand reluctantly, an apologetic smile on your face. He shakes his head, chuckling a bit. 

“My possessive baby.”

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦

The boys absolutely killed their set but that was to be expected. You heard loud clapping and cheering as they made their way from the stage, a mixture of praises both towards the boys and the dancers. You join the busy crowd, clapping and looking through the sea of people for Hyunjin. Suddenly, you feel large hands on your waist and you turn around to see your boyfriend looking down at you with a grin. He’s sweaty and his breathing still hasn’t calmed down completely, He’s discarded the vest that he had on during the performance leaving him in only his black tank top. You open your mouth to congratulate him but he puts a finger over his lips, hushing you before taking your hand and pulling you with him. He makes his way in the opposite direction of the boys, towards the quieter part of the venue. You recognize the hallway from when the boys took pictures earlier, Hyunjin leads you into a small cut off hallway where some extra supplies seem to be stored. He closes the door behind you, placing a piece of paper over the latch so that you two don’t get locked in. He turns to you and you look up at him with confusion woven in your features. 

“What are we doing here?” You look around thinking that maybe you missed something.

“You know that you mean the world to me, right?” Your heart starts hammering in your chest again, your grip on your clutch purse growing tighter as embarrassment washes over you again. 

“I know, I’m sorry I should’ve asked you instead of drawing conclusions.” 

“Don’t apologize, you were being protective of what’s yours.” Hyunjin takes a couple of steps towards you, one hand sliding into the pocket of his brown designer pants.

“You know that I’m yours, right?” Your mouth goes dry when you take in his deepened tone, what exactly did he bring you here to do? You press your thighs together, shifting your weight from one foot to the other. Your black form fitting dress rides up a bit from movement. “Answer me, angel.”

“Yes, I know you’re mine.” You clear your throat, trying not to show how much his words are affecting you.

“I only want you, you’re the only woman I ever think about, the only woman I ever look at.” He steps closer, reaching up to cup your cheek. You close your eyes and lean into his hand. His fingers brush against your lips. “Do you believe me?”

You shake your head, opening your eyes to meet his. He smiles at you before leaning down and pressing his lips to yours. You kiss him back, melting into him. Your arms find a home around his neck as he deepens the kiss, his tongue parts your lips, slipping into your mouth and stealing a taste of you. You moan into his mouth and he smiles against your lips. He pushes you back gently, prompting you to take a step back. He leads you backwards until your back hits the wall, you gasp, breaking the kiss and Hyunjin takes it as an opportunity to trail soft kisses over your jaw and down your neck.

“Hyunjin…we can’t do this here.” Your words are anything but convincing and you know for a fact that you don’t mean them. After the rush of jealousy that you felt earlier topped off with the breathtaking performance that he just put on with the boys’ you know that your body is more than ready for him.

“Let me show just how much I love you.” He plants a wet kiss right below your ear before whispering. “I want you to feel how much I want you, only you.” 

Hyunjin presses himself against you and you moan at the feeling of his hard dick straining against his pants. “Only you do that to me.”

“Hyunjin.” His name leaves your lips in a breathy moan, you can’t think of anything else to possibly say. He’s completely fogged your mind.

He starts leaving sloppy open mouth kisses on your neck, rough yet slow actions of affection. His hands trace up your sides, lightly scratching at the fabric of your Versace cocktail dress, dragging the fabric up your soft skin and exposing your plush thighs.You trail your free hand down his arm, moving to palm him through his pants but one of his hands swiftly grabs your wrist, pinning your arm to the wall behind you. 

“This is about you, baby. Only you.” He whispers against your skin before his lips make their way down to your chest, sucking and biting at your skin leaving red marks in his wake. His other hand grips at your waist, pulling you towards him and making you arch your back off of the wall.

 “I’m all yours baby.” He slides down onto his knees. Sitting in front of you, his large hands trailing down the soft skin of your legs. He looks up at you, his sparkling eyes surrendering to you. “I would never worship another woman like this in my life.” 

He leans forward, pressing soft kisses to the outside of your thigh and making his way to the sensitive skin leading to your core. You spread your legs a bit to give him better access and he groans at the gesture. His hands snake up under your dress, he hooks his thumbs into the thin straps of your thong and leads the garment down your legs. You step out of them, and Hyunjin wastes no time bringing them up to his nose and taking a deep inhale. 

“Fuck, I love the smell of you.” His words are breathy yet stable, he stuffs your thong into his pocket, a treasure for him to remember this moment by. He peers up into your attentive yet fucked out gaze, watching you as he sneaks the pad of his pointer finger up to caress your soaked folds. You jump at the contact, a deep moan leaving your throat, you hadn’t realized how much you needed his touch until now. You relax as he runs his finger up and down your heat, circling your clit and teasing your entrance a bit. Your hips buck against his hand, silently begging him to stretch you. Small whimpers fall from your parted lips as you keep your eyes on his.

“You sound so beautiful, angel. You’re so fucking perfect.” He pushes his finger into you slowly, curling it upward to caress your g-spot. You bring your hand up to your mouth in an attempt to drown out your moans. Hyunjin shakes his head, fucking his finger into you a bit faster. “Let them hear you, I don’t care who it is, Let them hear what I do to you.”

“Hyun- Fuck” He adds another finger, scissoring them inside of you to stretch you out. “Oh my god, that's so good.”

“Only the best for you, this is only for you.” He leans up on his knees, sticking his tongue out and licking up the wetness dripping down your inner thigh. His tongue works its way over to your cunt, flicking your clit at a delicious pace that makes your back arch off of the wall further. He hums against you as you buck your hips, fucking yourself on his fingers and tongue. You feel yourself getting closer and closer to the edge, your body trembling as you beg him to keep going. He keeps up the pace, his tongue never stopping until you're finally pushed over the edge. You cry out in bliss as you cum hard, your body trembling with pleasure. He laps up every bit of your arousal that he can catch, leaving light kisses on your swollen clit as he allows you to come down from your high just a bit. 

“You taste like heaven” Hyunjin groans as he pulls away from you, licking his lips to clean up the mess you made. Your mind is clouded with lust, the jealousy from earlier nearly forgotten. The only thing on your mind now is how badly you want the man in front of you. How badly you need him inside of you. 

“I can feel like heaven for you too.”

“This is about you, angel.”

“Then fuck me, please. If this is about me then make me forget about that stupid tweet. You’d do anything to please me right?” Hyunjin, stands from his position in front of you. Your eyes stay locked on his dark ones as he towers over you. 

“I’d do anything to please you.” His words are soft and strong, he leans into you, catching your lips in a sweet kiss. You can taste yourself on his tongue as the kiss deepens, the gentle nature that Hyunjin held seconds ago melting away into a frenzied lust. 

“You drive me insane.” He whispers against your lips and you moan into his mouth. Your hands run down his clothed chest, taking in his firm core and his shirt damp with sweat. You run your hand over his hard cock, palming and stroking him. A pornographic moan erupts from his throat, he breaks the kiss and his jaw hangs open in bliss. You look up at him, watching as he bites his lip with his eyes shut tight, concentrating on the way your fingers move against him. 

“I want you to fuck me like she’s watching.” Hyunjin groans deeply, furrowing his brows at your words. “Show her that you’re taken.”

Your words flipped a switch in Hyunjins head, he grabs your hip, turning you around and swiftly pulling your dress up to expose your bare ass. He lands a firm smack on both of your ass cheeks, the sound echoing throughout the room.

“I’ll show her.” He presses his clothed bulge against you and you can feel him unbuttoning his pants with one hand. “I’ll show her who I belong to.”

He runs his hands over your bare skin, his touch gentle yet possessive. He leans in and whispers in your ear “I’ll let everyone know I’m yours.”

You gasp as you feel his cock part your dripping folds, stretching you out deliciously. He pushes in slowly, allowing you a bit of time to adjust to him. Your moans fill the air as he slides into you, once he bottoms out he leans forward, pressing you into the wall so that you’re flush against him.

“I’m yours” He moans as he starts to move, his hips pushing against yours in a rhythm that intensifies with each thrust. The sound of skin slapping echoes through the hallway but is easily drowned out by your shared moans. Your head falls back against Hyunjin’s chest giving him the perfect view of your fucked out expression. He leans down, leaving soft kisses on your forehead, a sweet contrast to the rough thrust of his hips. 

“You’re mine.” Your words make Hyunjin’s hips stutter, pushing into you deeper, he bites his lip as he takes it all in. The way you’re clenching around him, your moans mixing with his, the way the head of his cock hits your sweet spot. It all drives him closer to the edge. 

“You were right.” His thrusts become faster and harder and you squeeze around him as you draw closer to your release, meeting his rhythm with pleasure. “You do feel like heaven.” 

His fingers dig into the soft flesh of your hips as he comes undone, his moans mingle with yours as he fills you. The feeling of his hot release throws you over the edge, you fall apart seconds after him, his name falls from your lips like a chant as your pleasure washes over you. You both still, his dick stays deep inside of you as you both try to catch your breath.

“Thank you.” Hyunjin hums in response, soft pants falling from his lips.

“For what?” 

“For showing me that you’re mine, this might’ve been the best type of reassurance ever.” You chuckle and he follows, a wide smile spreading across his face.

“I’m glad that you enjoyed yourself. But, please remember that I mean this, there’s never anyone on my mind but you. You’re all I think about.” His sweet words send a shiver down your spine and you can’t help but to clench around him. 

“Oh fuck.” Hyunjin groans with a chuckle and you can’t help but to smile. “I need to pull out, I don’t think I’ll be able to control myself if you do that again.”

He slides out of you slowly, whines escape both of you from the sensitivity of the action. He tucks himself back into his pants and you turn around to face him, still leaning on the wall for support. 

“How am I supposed to go back out there with your cum dripping out of me?” You look down at the mixed arousal running down your leg and Hyunjin smiles at you. 

“Here.” You watch him as he kneels before you, dipping his tongue out and licking the stream of cum running down your leg. A groan falls from your lips as you watch him taste your mixed arousals. He trails his tongue up your leg, collecting all of the juices that drip from you until he reaches your swollen cunt. He runs his tongue over the sensitive flesh and you shiver in response, your head falling back against the wall and a moan escaping you. 

“Baby, I’m so sensitive.” Hyunjin hums in response and the feeling of the sound vibrating through you makes you clench around nothing. He dips his tongue into your hole, lapping up most of your arousal and cleaning your cunt to perfection. Once he’s satisfied he pulls away and stands, wiping his chin clean and smiling at you. He gives you a moment to recover before taking your chin between his fingers and tilting your head up to meet his gaze. 

“Next time that you get jealous just remember that you and I are made for each other. We’re perfect together.” You smile up at him and he leans forward kissing you with wet lips. He parts your lips with his tongue and gently runs his over yours. The taste of your mixed arousals flood your mouth and you relish the flavor. He breaks the kiss just as you move to deepen it, a slight whine falling from your lips. He grins down at you before running his thumb over your swollen bottom lip

“See? Don’t we taste good together? I only want you to mix with me, no one else, okay?” You nod your head, a sweet fucked out smile pulling at your lips. “I love you, angel”

“I love you too, baby.”

[fortheloveofaussiegrit]

as someone who spent years having their stuff ripped and reposted to f1twt, i wish someone would've told me this before i went into a months-long spiral about the issue--but honestly, the healthiest thing to do is stop going on twitter and kindly ask ppl to stop letting u know your stuff is being taken.

i know that's easier said than done and sounds wack but honestly! my mental health was literally the stonks meme after i did this!! sometimes you'll come across your shit on pinterest or google again bc of reposters and it'll Suck™, but don't let this stop you from doing things you enjoy, yknow? at the end of the day, twitter engagement (and tumblr engagement too) doesn't mean anything and is completely forgettable. the important thing is, did you have fun making your gifs? sharing insane moments to talk about with friends? did you reach the audience who matters?

the numbers game on socmed hurts a lot, i know. my friends used to talk me down for hours on end about it. but people on twitter don't give two shits about us, so don't give two shits about them; they're not even worth the second-hand smoke you breathe.

sending hugs <3 -user mwebber

hello hello! thank you for ur message<3

I know that you and a lot of others get their content stolen constantly and ahh to me that is still mind boggling that people think its okay to steal someone else’s content but yeah it is what it is

The thing that got to me this time is the privacy of it all. I know im posting on socials but here is very different to twt/tiktok. I’ve never really been one for numbers like if something does well great and obvs there’s stuff i want to do well, but for the most part a lot of my stuff does not get main tagged because it is for a small group of people and myself!

what really gets me and maybe its just me, but the possibility for interaction with real people on twt. For me that is terrifying and the thought of rl people seeing some of my content?? … like why are we putting a gif of Mark grabbing his dick on twitter where he or someone related to him could see it? I didnt main tag it and i know its inevitable that more people will see it but that really fucked with me when i saw that. it still haunts me that the video of with me breathing and making noises from goodwood made it to twt too 🤣 thats what really got to me this time and ive tried to not let it get to me but it’s scary!!! lol

but yeah ive got big girl responsibilities!! and i probably wont be gone for long but yeah:) sending hugs back:))

[laurmaus]

My twitter rant thread j didnt even read before posting any of this it’s in my personal priv hold on let me get the context photo i started writing before she even opened her MOUTH to elaborate sorry im very passionaye about this

ALL OF THE ABOVE IS FUCKING FRAZY. WHAT THE HELL DO U MEAN U WANT TO WAIT TO GET TO KNOW HIM MORE DO U REALIZE HOW SRUPID THAT SOUNDS THE GARROTH OPTION US STUPID TOO HOW IS HE ETILL IN THE OICTYTR IN ANY WAY SHAPE OR FORM He has been by your side for AS LONG AS HES KNOWN YOU literally every single waking moment he’s spent dedicated to protecting you and making you laugh and Smile and like yeah that doesn’t mean you’re obligated to like him back but to say you want to get to know him more first is fucking insane you know EVERYTHING possibke anout laurance you’ve known him since before he was a shadow night you’ve stayed with him by his bedside while he was blind you saw him change hair and change eyes and become your friend your guard your right hand man he lived with you when the threat of okasis and scaleswind came to light he was the ONLY ONE you could trust when the amulet was discovered while garroth was too busy being brainwashed you two went out and GOT SHIT DONE He’s given his heart out so many times risked his life loo ked after malachi been a shoulder to lean on im dead seriois when i say NO ONE ELSE in this entire series has done this much for aphmau like even in the stupid non canon short stories you can See how much he cares and values her so much more than just a love interest but a friend he’s always cared and remembered small insignificant things about her when NO ONE else did like that fall was her favorite season or that she really liked mash potatoes when he found out garroth had a crush on her he literally tried to help SO MANY TIMES FULLY KNOWING!!!!!what it would mean if his attempts actually worked like he is not a jealous person thats the whole point of the SPEEL HE GAVE TO GARROTH IN THE IRENE DIMENSION laurwnfe is completely willing to give his own chance of a romantic relationship up in exchange of helping his friend he says in the beginning of season two i think like oh even if you do get with someone else i know you don’t love me just please let me stay by your side CAFENZA SAYS IT TOO he’s always putting aside his own happiness to see aphmau happy and yeah that’s really sad and unhealthy but watching his light hearted character slowly be warped into one whose jealous and impulsive and puts his own judgement in the moment above the safety of others is the COMPLETE OPPOSITE of everything he stands for oughhhhthat just makes me mad and c aphmau is a BITCH for acting like shes in the middle of this super crazy unexplainable situation while all of this is happening like WTF R U TALKING ABOUT I want to wait to get to know him more WHAT ELSE IS THERE TO KNOW????????GENIUENLY LIKE AM I MISSING SOMETHING HERE and WHY is garroth still in the roster am i crazy for not getting that either HOW CAN USERUOUSLT BE CONSIDERING THE MAN WHO IS SO INSECURE HE ISOLATED HIMSELF ABANDONED YOU AND YOUR VILLAGE AS HEAD!!!GUARD!!!!! All bc he thought you got with laurance WHICH SHE LITERALLY DID BTW but thays besides the point garroth has ACCEPTED he can’t be with aphmau and to bring the whole catalyst of the s1 finale back a quarter into the next season is weird especially when it wasn’t acknowledged while the situation itself was happening Dragging garroth back as a love interest was weird to me i geniuenly dont get it but maybe tbats bc im really bias?????? Maybe i don’t see something here but idk i think the whole game laurance is waiting to play when garroth is saved is weird and not a situation aphmau should be allowing like girl stand up😭 Why is she agreeing to wait for garroth to see “who she chooses” do u realize how fucking insane that sounds i don’t know if i’m explaining this jna way that makes sense ok im tired of writing this BRING OLD LAURMAU BACK🔥🔥🔥🔥

[lindszeppelin]

okay so yesterday the twitter hive got into a frenzy over V posting *checks notes* ...for posting.... *double checks notes from confusion* .....darla the dog that Austin left with her when he went to go film for Elvis.

no but fr they're heated over it. they are also assuming she was shading him with a post she reposted to her story about not giving things energy but like..that literally could be nothing but a regular post. ppl were saying things like "she never deserved him" and just really being whiny little bitches about it. personally, i don't really like V but saying something like that about a relationship you weren't in and know actually nothing about is wild, no!? it's giving unhealthy levels of parasocial relationship. they don't even like her— how did anyone see her STORY? when i thought to try and offer a different perspective i just figured it was for nought bc it doesn't seem like any of them would listen to reason. i don't give a shit she still has the dog...clearly he doesn't care. shouldn't they be more mad at that then anything? "it was his MOTHERS dog!!1!!11" yeah and they were together for a decade, i'm sure he just thinks Darla was in better hands with V🤷🏽‍♀️, especially once he started doing the press tour/award campaign run for Elvis–he was barely home ever! i don't get the anger, it's petty and misplaced and immature and (maybe even naive?) to think she's(V) evil or some sort of horrible person for this one act. let me reiterate: they were together for a decade!!! im sure after his mother passed they took care of the dog together for the majority of their relationship so in my eyes, Darla is as every bit Austin's as she is V's.

and it's very obvious they are ASSUMING she was shading him rather than idk looking the other way(or never looking in her direction in the first place bc they do not like her anyway so why disrupt your own peace and happiness for THIS?) and pretending like she doesn't exist. or simply being levelheaded and logically thinking. i have to routinely pull myself back farther away from fandoms in general bc honestly i've never really been too deep into them for this exact reason— ppl just get a tad bit too creepy and weird for me. and this moment is making me wanna leave entirely..it's almost making want to like her again too out of spite for those ppl(almost, babes, almost lmao). it's just...icky to me is all. anyway, all this to say: thoughts? lol.

i don't like vanessa for many reasons, but the shippers will always think that she's shading him for no reason. this bitch is married, like...she has MOVED ON from austin in all kinds of regards. and like i said before, people will interpret things in their own personal way and that can be a curse. from my perspective, that quote vanessa shared TO ME read as "okay guys hang it up, i have moved on and everything is okay. let's just move on from this narrative".

also idk about the discourse surrounding darla and stuff but listen, if austin was perfectly fine leaving darla with vanessa after all this time then cool. he trusts her with his mother's dog. i mean clearly vanessa loves darla and i see the pics she posts with darla. cole seems to be a good surrogate dog dad to darla too from what i can tell. so...there is no problem here.

[spookfished]

media roundup june 2023

hey guys guess who just went "oh its the 4th of july. that means that its july" here im going to talk about things i read/watched/played last month! i didnt read as much but did finish a couple books that ive had checked out Forever. ok actually i read a lot woops

books/comics/written media:

fake dates and mooncakes by sher lee: fake dating (obv) premise between a cooking boy and a rich heir! book that made me realized im honestly just not that interested in ya romance anymore LMFAO. pretty sweet and a decent read, but landed more heavily on the expository end of uhh i guess diaspora fiction? than i really prefer. i think i picked this up bc the author got mega cancelled on tyk twitter lol??

bird by bird by anne lammott: book about how to write. i love to read about how people do stuff :3 some of the advice applies pretty universally to creative efforts i think.. made me want to write more too

john dies at the end by jason pargin: DNF. comic/horror about this loser guy who discovers stuff. sigh i tried so hard to like this book its supposed to be pretty 'mecore'...talked about this with alena a bunch but its like hm... i know the sort of casual offensiveness sort of goes in hand with being poor and white and in the midwest and i appreciate how its like that creates its own doomed narrative or whatever. but also i feel like the protagonist would call me slurs or something. also the lowgrade but pervasive orientalism is kinda offputting. probably fun for some other guy! i did enjoy the horror elements though

the goldfinch by donna tartt: literary coming of age about a boys relationship with a painting (the goldfinch). also he flops a lot and its sort of homoerotic i guess? a movie was made of it. so something to note is that ive had this book out on loan since literally december. neil kept on being like hey man just stop reading it LMFAO. thoughts cp'ed from discord:

why does the goldfinch feel like a 600 page leadup to the actual book which is 800 pages

idk at this point im kinda sick of pathetic lovelorn self obsessed semi literary men. like toku men are also sopping and pathetic but i think its more appealing when they are also kind and can be vulnerable. this guy is just annoying and kind of incel coded. like does a grand gesture to make up for the fact that he killed your dog while dogsitting

i actually did enjoy the parts post timeskip but i still think the first two thirds could have been cut or Greatly compressed or interspersed w the present or Something, yk? prose was nice though

the bodyguard by katherine center: romance novel about a woman bodyguard who lives for her job. fresh from a breakup, shes given a new undercover assignment with a handsome actor, recently withdrawn from society. will they be able to break each others' shells....? my mom recommended this to me LMFAO we kind of have different tastes in romance.. ive read a book by this author before i think her platonic scenes are very strong? i wish there had been a couple more of those. also i like how she always includes a life affirming section at the end about how important it is for us to open ourselves up to love etc etc cute but not especially memorable

kiss quotient by helen hoang: (reread) a shy, autistic econometrician decides that she needs to get better at sex, and so hires an escort. helen hoang is one of my faavorite romance authors i really enjoyed this reread although i kinda forgot that both leads say, think and do some pretty embarrassing things. but you know a little embarrassment is endearing and all that.. i still prefer her other book (the bride test) but this one is pretty good too. vivid characters 👍

sisters of dorley hall by alyson greaves: web fiction - a trans woman infiltrates a secret force-feminization program. ok im just cp'ing my thoughts from discord again but i enjoyed it a lot:

my thoughts are that the first like, third? is really really good. it like idk takes the very real trans fears of like discovery and passing and all that and fictionalizes them a bit. but like its still grounded and swag. sooo tense once The Reveal happens n things w steph are pretty normal it gets kinda meandering? which i dont really mind bc i love interpersonal drama even if i miss how tense and scary it was. but also theres only like two major plot threads going on rn and theyre both pretty slowburn. a timeskip would probably benefit tbh like the point rn is kinda like. the 7 year meteor? yeah sorry

like it used to be sort of psychological thriller? and now its sort of more character focus and also surprisingly fluffy.. im surprised that the author has said they have a complete outline bc it doesnt feel very focused atm? but also like i suppose things are snowballing a bit re: revealing the sisters to the outside world

an unauthorized fan treatise by lauren james: a fangirl trying to prove her rpf ship is real uncovers a greater conspiracy. to me if something is able to capture a specific age/vibe from the internet its automatically pretty good. however more and more people are learning how to do that so maybe i should change my standards... i was never involved in All That re: rpf or even fandoms of live action shows until kamen rider? but like i definitely knew people in hs that were sort of like this LMFAO so it felt very familiar. i appreciate the author trying to make that $$ but i dont know if it really needs an expansion/sequel.. the ending is better off with some ambiguity imo

impossible us by sarah lotz: literary romance? a man and a woman fall in love online, but encounter difficulties when they try to meet. ok im just pasting my thoughts here again (spoilers btw):

ok that was a lot of stuff. onto movies/tv:

xo kitty: kitty goes to a school to connect with her online boyfriend, but all is not well. yall this was not good. i guess my standards shouldnt have been that high but to all the boys ive loved before was so cute!! (havent watched/read the others). but like.. the writing was bad and the main actress just wasnt very sympathetic or charming? characters waste time saying "i can explain" until time runs out for them to actually explain, additional (and nonsensical) romance plots are added for no reason, and the male lead isnt even that hot. sorry. also kitty deciding to move to korea to connect with her mom but not bothering to learn a speck of korean and insisting that everyone else speak to her in english really sucks honestly. not even my mom liked it so thats how you know its bad 👎

succession season 1: yesss succession. greg is my favorite cant wait to see him become evil. makes me stressed

shin kamen rider (hideaki anno): reboot of the first kamen rider by the guy who made evangelion. this guy kinda makes the same thing over and over but it looked sick as hell so i wasnt complaining. like stella obstinaterixatrix said, kinda more introspective or even insular to the point of kinda ignoring the usual kr theme of justice but it was still very fun :3 kinda want to watch the original now

ready player one (movie): my parents made me watch this movie. aggressively mediocre.

kamen rider revice and live and evil and demons: pretty fun if you have the disease that makes you think revice is good, but mostly made me miss revice. i think they should have gone more into the clone thing but i always think that so

kamen rider juuga vs kamen rider olteca: two-parter special for kr revice. i forgot what happened in this pretty much immediately after but karizaki was hot

roman holiday: a princess touring in rome escapes her duties for a day, and meets a dashing young reporter. classic romance!! i actually liked this so so much like it actually is very romantic and funny and like deserves the hype. didnt expect it to be in black and white even so audrey hepburn is really hot. (spoilers) more romances should have bittersweet endings though like it hit

kamen rider ryuki: a young man is inducted into a battle royale between those fighting for their deepest wishes, and decides to try and stop the rider battle once and for all. hey guys ryuki is so fucking good for those who have watched madoka magica a lot of it is very heavily based off of/inspired by ryuki! but ryuki does it better. pretty much The kamen rider has so much to say about justice and love and what it means to be a hero and sacrifice and *runs out of air and falls over* also it made me cry. if you ever try kamen rider try this one <3

EDIT OH i forgot about across the spiderverse 100/10 obviously groundbreaking in animation nice take on generational trauma and also like the nature of adaptation and being in a multimedia comics franchise and all that. really hope the sequel doesnt get crunched too bad. oh but copaganda not great 99/10

video games:

twisted wonderland: gacha game where random disney villains are bishie high schoolers instead. ill play chapter 3 sometime soon i swear. gameplay is terrible as with most gacha games but the characters are cute? i feel terrible guilt for being involved with a disney franchise. honestly pretty compelling character writing sometimes though sorry

apico: stardew-like about raising bees (in beta). sooooo cute and the devs obv care about bees a lot in real life. the gameplay loop + breeding systems are a little bit punishing right now though i really hope it gets adjusted. took over my life during finals (woops) and i got like half the bees and then burnt out. multiplayer is fun though!

legend of zelda tears of the kingdom: the next zelda game, now featuring building + vertical elements. yeah this took over my life for two months like it did for a bunch of other people i finished the main story a couple days ago! i might go back to do a couple more of the shrine puzzles, but other than that i think im done. LOVE the vertical elements and also all the little sidequests there are to do and how the world has changed since botw. dragons tears was really good and OMG PROVING GROUNDS. would be a 10/10 if zelda was the protag stop damseling her you guys cmon

paper mario origami king: newest paper mario game, which is a spinoff of the main series where theyre all paper (duh). im about halfway through this, i think? tried it out because of the dunkey video lol and also bc it was free at my library. very charming and inventive, has a really good soundtrack and really funny writing! i know the gameplay was controversial, but im enjoying it a lot (and theres a lot of room for error). might 100% it

it feels like this month i tried a lot of things that i didnt really like LMAO. also a lot of romance. im very happy about finally finishing the goldfinch! the only holdout on my libby is slaughterhouse 5 :P i did find some things that i really liked though! anyways this one feels a bit more scattered but if you got to the ending, congratulations! thanks for reading :3

[lynsburner]

BESTIE BESTIE BESTIE DID YOU SEE THE VID OF ANDY SINGING UNKNOWN ON STAGE????

https://twitter.com/hozier/status/1666156710816251927?s=46&t=LSoyIXqT91OLGNpISabobw

“you know the distance never made a difference to me” THE FIRST THING I THOUGHT OF WAS YOUR FIC 😭 this song is sooooo andy/lovely core im obsessed!! i can’t wait for it to come out, A) bc it sounds amazing already, and B) bc im so excited to hear your thoughts on it!!!

Oh... bestie... you might not like my answer for this one because I am absolutely begging him to put this one bACK IN THE VAULT (or whatever it is. Sorry I have too much Taylor on my mind after going to the eras tour twice now. And for the last time, I swear.)

Is it a bad song? Absolutely fucking not. It's gorgeous. But it hits a little too close to home for me.

So... I am about to tell a silly story. Picture this. It is late September. I am SEATED to see Carly Rae Jepsen at Radio City. I check twitter (yes I am on the hoz side of twitter. Not under this name, though lol). People are freaking out about a tik tok he made. I had only seen a small clip posted of him jamming on a guitar so I think nothing of it.

The curtain goes up. Carly comes on. I am having the most fun two hours of my life because how can't you when you get to hear the best opening number for an album ever made, sax and all? She ends with Cut to the Feeling, one of the most joyous songs ever made! I am on a happiness high! Nothing can ruin my night!

And then I am sitting at the bus stop and I check tik tok and realize it was a full song! A full song about a long-distance relationship! And I start SOBBING!!!! Because guess what? That song is SAD!

So I go from absolutely forgetting every bad thing that had ever happened to me to full-on crying about a failed relationship I was still not over!!! In the middle of 5th Avenue, no less!!!!

Idk if you've heard the full thing, but it is DEPRESSING! It's basically the opposite of Francesca (or the "I'd do it all over again" motif) ! He literally sings "And there are some people, love, who are better unknown" like??? Imagine thinking you're better off never someone than knowing them at all! (which, I know is my interpretation, and I can very much be wrong but that's what it's giving to me!) I can imagine! I was still in that mindset! Especially since this one was about a long-distance relationship! It hit me too fucking hard!!! I have literally ignored every live performance I've come across of it on social media since because it makes me absolutely sob!!! I wish I was joking!

Anyway, a hilarious bookend to this: the day he announced in that Instagram Q&A the date Unknown was officially being released? Guess who I was seeing in concert that night? That's right! Carly Rae FUCKING Jepsen!!!!! *Insert the "If I had a nickel" meme here*

But yeah, he got the real long-distance thing down to a fucking t, especially with the second verse, "Funny how true colors shine in darkness and in secrecy. If there were scarlet flags, they washed out in thе mind of me" because yeah, you can forgive a lot of shit when the person isn't physically in front of you! Also, "Where a blinding light shonе on you every night Either side of my sleep" to me is just a fancy little way of saying face time/late night calls lol. (Again, I could be wrong, but still!)

But (I am sorry for repeating "But"... BUT!) he also confirmed it's from circle 9, which is treachery! Which... well I am not defining a successful relationship as treachery, I'm sorry! Judas is in that circle! And I did too many years in Catholic school to know what that guy fucking did!

Anyway, unlike me and my ex (and whoever the fuck Hoz is singing about, may they have their peace and never have to hear this one randomly in a store or some shit), Andrew and Lovely are definitely on better terms in my mind and are absolutely thriving <3 As I said before, love those crazy kids! They're in their own universe probably looking at rings as we speak! Or face-timing since he's out on the road! Good for them!

This is also not an insult to long-distance relationships in general. I loved that shit. It was wonderful! The guy, though? He sucks! And I am still doing some reflecting on that (which I am sure will continue once I force myself to listen to Unknown in a non tik tok way!)

Lovely Anon, I know this is not the answer you expected, but hopefully, it makes you chuckle! Or at least gets you to listen to the greatest album ever made: Emotion, by Carly Rae Jepsen!

PS: thank you for that other ask because I have been putting "no plan" back into my rotation of songs and oh boy I forgot how fucking good it was!!!!!

PPS: I hope this didn't come off as too, "Uhm, actually!" because that was not my intent! The opening, out of context, is absolutely Lovely and Andrew coded! But the rest? Oh, she has words for him!!!!!

[hjeojeo]

some thought processing and venting i guess :C

thinking about how

i wish there was an opposite version of tumblr blaze

where you can tell tumblr that

after this many notes, take it off of people’s dashboards, make it unavailable to reblog and spread

I guess it just seems kind of unsettling if yer posts suddenly takes off and you get sudden load of attention that you haven’t even begun to process through yet

maybe i just have weird remaining bad feelings after all my fe3h fanart took off on twitter and with the attention came a lot of unexpected stress and pressure and just overall getting dragged into stuff/discourse that i never participated in

but maybe it’ll just inherently be different on tumblr

I love being able to enjoy games/shows with other people and share the fanart i make but attention ended up being bad news when it came to fanart

also I’m really sorry if this is like me being so stuck in my own head that it’s just mean towards other people. especially since i can see how like if any of the new ppl who just started following this blog cause of my recent hyperfixation with arknights read this, it might come off as if i am angry towards them specifically

but i think it’s more of like an issue regarding the state of my mental health. my own responsibility with it.

I really appreciate the love and support for the fanart i make, im just trying to figure out how to handle the paranoid feeling that bad stress stuff will follow after.

and also the fear of like another hyperfixation being broken again. I never knew that you could like lose a hyperfixation, but with fe3h i learned that oh it is possible enough stress gets associated with it and no matter how much i love it, it’s hard to interact with it again. I’m slowly rehabilitating my love for fe3h again, but it’s...slow..and different.

and i guess i just dont want to have to deal with that again with arknights i just wanna...

enjoy it and like be able to lowkey relax in a community with other ppl who love it, but like not as the center of attention

.__. fe3h was also where i learned about how some ppl consider certain fanartist as “fandom gods” and oh my god. it’s so fucking weird.

individuals aren’t meant to be put on pedestals no one exist to be yer perfect person who makes yer favorite art

i just wanna be more like part of the crowd where we’re appreciating the presence of one another, but understand that we got our own lives and our own directions we’re headed, that we’re not like meant to just permanently stick together. it’s more like a river and everything always flowing and changing

--

i also have been slowly like processing through like

what hyperfixations are too. (also disclaimer that i use this word specifically as a neurodivergent term bc i have adhd)

i didn’t really know what to really consider it. maybe largely bc growing up, i wasn’t allowed my own interests and it was like heavily discouraged + i was physically and emotionally punished for it too. so it wasn’t until my mid 20′s (like roughly when i was 24-25 ish) that i started to more actively push myself to acknolwedge and pursue my interests, to see them as valid ways to spend my time.

so whenever i do get an active hyperfixation, it means a lot to me. bc it’s so nice to be able to enjoy something that my brain’s willing to soak up so immediately (instead of shutting down bc of information overload)

and the creative part of it where i fill in the blanks or think of my own interpretations etc, it’s so fun and really fills me with a very specific kind of joy

the joy of being able to enjoy something so carefully made but also the joy of like knowing how much i am like letting myself just have individualistic thoughts and preferences and ideas, etc

i guess if you made it to the end here, thanks for reading my brain washing machine going round and round haha :)

[ap-sadistics]

jung qvq [erqnpgrq] naq [erqnpgrq] ba yzxgjg qb? bgure guna or naablvat v zrna

ohhhhhh its funny really. "funny".

its technically more than two. i hate their entire friend group. its a bunch of bnfs (big name fans) on twitter. its absolutely certain you know at least one of them if youre in the fandom.

the thing im most irked about how they leverage their popularity for create a biased narrative against me. when i technically did no crime. i never even Spoke to the person. never interacted with them once. what i did. is vague them. for having the most wretchedly ooc characterizations for the sake of shipping a rare pair. and you see. i didnt have a problem with the ship itself. no! my issue. was that their characterization fucking SUCKED. i dont care if they called it "redemption" or "character development". it. was. out. of. character. straight. up. so i tweeted about this kid. i didnt mention their name. i mentioned the ship. and how i was sick of seeing it on twitter. i also i looked at their carrd and saw that this (this is a screencap of a screencap sooooo its old)

and i was you know what. im gonna do that. and that was the end of that

(i also was like was the hell does a kid have like 2000 followers that gives me fucking hives. bc lets be real. having a large social presence on the internet at that age when your a developing person is like. not ideal. im essentially antisocial and the idea of having that many ppl follow me for my stupid thoughts is fucking TERRIBLE. ive softblocked followers before to drive the number down. anyways i was thinking about it from that perspective. being conscious of numbers is Bad.)

flashforward a few hours and i noticed it wasnt the end of that. somehow the kid found my tweet and then supremely misinterpreted it and then sicced their followers/their friends onto my account. that tweet had a Large amount of pqrts (the stupid twitter culture thing where you essentially put on masks and stone the apparent criminal. and i was like. well this sure is a thing thats happening. and they def were twisting my words bc they screencapped my tweet and was bashing me about it. with absolutely 0 reading comprehension. well my course of action was to just go on private to cut off the engagement. what am i going to do? acknowledge what was happening with a tweet for them to twist and play the victim again? im not fucking stupid.

its really funny that after i privated i got 5 follow requests. THE STUPIDEST FUCKING IDIOTS I EVER SEEN. blocked immediately. it was really funny.

thats not the funniest thing that happened tho. you might think that *i* might be playing the victim and that what happened wasnt that big of a deal. it wasnt. but also it sucked still. anxiety causing. but anyways it wasnt just a the qrts. after i privated, one of them reported my account for suicide

this was the funniest fucking thing that happened to me. i was livid during this whole incident but this was the funniest fucking part of this ordeal. it was HYSTERICAL. for the record there was none of that kind of content on my account! this is the most mentally healthy ive been bc i wasnt in my old uni anymore. not that i ever even posted about the kind of stuff ever.

this is clearly a petty attempt at harassment right? because they couldnt stand having someone think they are annoying and that their ship sucks (i didnt before but i do think it does now bc this incident made me hate the ship actually. because im petty too! but at least im self aware about it.)

someone also sent a bad faith ask to my fucking art blog because they haaaaaad to chase me down to a different fucking platform to harass me more

and like. what happened to me only proved my point. that teens shouldnt have a large following. this teen definitely abused their power didnt they.

who do you think had the worse experience. me or them? whose the real victim here.

if you think im problematic for fucking saying i dont like a person in public without once mentioning a name? get fucked.

also this happened again. it happened a second time. bc i found out there was a l/m/k zine going on and i said im not joining it bc they were a part of it. once again unnamed. LIKE OBVIOUSLY? IM NOT GONNA JOIN? it wasnt like i was going to fucking make it explode. but people toooooooook issue. i dont get how they find the tweet so fast im convinced one or more of them or their lackeys is stalking me. i could be paranoid tho.

anyways bc this is a friend group, the kid is a friend of a certain somebody. a very well known somebody. and bc they fed all their biased retelling of the incident to this somebody. im blocked by a very funny account.

super inconvenient really

you see theres more to it than this incident tho. i have an issue with how these people engage with their follower base. but honestly its a product of the kind of social media platform that twitter is. they clearly value the number of followers they have and to say it doesnt go to their head would be a lie. theres other specifics tho thats old news. that im not willing to divulge to an anon. who are you and why are you asking about a tweet from 3 days ago anon. you have me fucking paranoid. im gonna trust the fact you used rot13. out of courtesy. but im wary.

you might be able to deduce who the pricks are from the things ive mentioned here. but im not gonna say who they are to an anon. i dont trust like that.

[kamil-a]

ok ace route end thoughts. incredibly messy post i put together a lot of it last night, half-asleep, and im trying to just. do my best with that lol

they invented queerbaiting for m/f couples

she was just so recently scared of him, but goes on a camping trip anyway and does seem to have a decent time! caught in by his magnetic pull, huh...

we arent going to OUTER space but we are going to MEDIUM space. which is great!

THE JOKER??!?!?!? THERE WAS A CLOWN MAN??!?!?!? 

it was a gourcus...

really id seen the cg before but still!!! i was so shocked to see him!!!

-oh okay. id dropped the pics and copypasted twitter comments over last night when i was too tired, so this is gonna be out of order a little bit- i do nt rly want to reorder them.

-she MAKES HER CHOICE is the thing, and then joker shows up AFTER to mess around!

=i suspect that the nightmare and peter (putting a note here that peter talks to her a: in the circus and b: she says she feels like he’s trying to poke hole in her decision) that we saw were joker in disguise/projecting illusions or something. because itts ace’s route i assume he did his part himself but itd still be interesting even if it werent i guess?

BITING HER EAR LIKE CHOMP?? RIGHT ON THE LAWN OF HER FAKE MEMORY DREAM HOUSE??? WHERE THERES PROBABLY A FREAKY OTHERWORLD CORALINE LOOKING LORINA GHOST?!?

im horrifascinated with him literally invading her nostalgic memories (and the state she’s tied herself to embodying here in WL!) to like... rub himself all over it. defile the past. AND, showing up in the sunday afternoon peaceful garden times zone is like a fuckyou to peter too... like a cat pissing on a tree in another cat’s territory. theres two separate sex scenes in this ending (lmaooo) but i dont even really think of this one as like. particularly sexual (or i guess i should say erotic? sex is about power blah blah) so much as ace wanting to assert power over alice and peter and like. the ghost of lorina liddell i guess. 

can you see this from heaven? if you could, would this even be the shape your heaven takes? well, in the end youre actually not here to say otherwise . so i will say it as if you’ve seen: haha lorina i am banging your sister

and i think on some level alice knows that lorina... isnt there to catch them in the act. that her objection to this isn’t “whats wrong with you, my sister could walk in on us any second!!!” but “i don’t want you to defile my perfect memories of this place, and of my perfect sister”.

-this is also like. i think one of the most explicit routes ive seen in terms of textual descriptions of things. 

-OH YEAH the other one was really really fun hes like doing an edgy oohhh ur my ruin you will bring my doom roleplay and shes like. excuse me? i dont want to bring your doom. what are you talking about. and hes like aww yeah my girlfriend is going to kill me one day and shes like HUH????? shes literally just trying to have a nice time and he keeps ruining it with his bizarre dirty (?) fantasizing about her destroying him it’s really funny

-and it all even started bc she was talking to peter and ace got jealous. even tho if he LISTENED a bit he’s realize she was talking abt how she chose ace.

-

-they probably had to up the stakes from friendship kissing by making ace a bites you bites you bites you bites you guy but it works for him 

she says he can name most of the stars she points out, but thankfully never gives names so MY CITY NOW - i think they have a lot of constellations named after things from the hunting of the snark + jabberwocky.

(which in my even deeper MY CITY NOW headcanonings is where they adopted their game-and-roleholder system from. so it’s sort of a remnant of it and a remembrance out of respect).

-i always much prefer when it's made textually clear in the moment that she wants something she verbally denies! This one seems particularly clear, i wonder if its a matter of being written years later 

-i can become happy in my own world, too. CAN YOU??? PERSON WHO VOWED TO NEVER BECOME HAPPY???

-aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

-lmao he THREW HIS SWORD AT HER to trip her

-i think a lot of this was in the musical

-you gotta wonder why he isnt feeding her the game juice back if he wants her in such a state of stasis, yknow? 

-Instead, having her firmly choose, but swearing he'll remind her of pain- my guess being it's to keep her from truly losing her outsideship? 

its for jnkna reasons i assume, but even hearts era ace is clumsy enough to go about it in the most inconvenient way lmao...

also. i love how the conclusion she comes to after her little "im scared!!!!" detour is like... "well im just weirdly drawn to him. dont know why hes so magnetic. cant help loving him" BC ME TOO HONESTLY????

-THE MOST AUTHENTIC HES EVER BEEN....

-OH YEAH! AND SHE NEVER EVEN FOUND OUT ABOUT JULIUS!!!!!!

-SHE DOESNT KNOW HER BF’S SIDE JOB. OR THAT HE HAS A BEST FRIEND

[cupcraft]

i remember seeing so many threats sent to people because they reblogged a bad post or from a bad person without knowing and i had received some and got very frightened from reblogging anything that wasn’t a shit post for a long time. i’ve also used it as a way to show mutuals that i’ve seen their posts even when i was in this phase. i’ve been able to get over it, i reblog way too much stuff probably, both on main and sideblogs, but as someone who also makes stuff, i’m not popular and don’t have an interest to be with most not getting over 10 notes, i feel better seeing that someone “liked” something of mine, though reblogging feels nicer, than feeling that no one enjoyed my work at all.

reblogging helps lots of creators and is what keeps the tumblr ecosystem healthy for a lack of a better term. but ultimately however anyone decides to experience their part of the internet is entirely their choice, and if that doesn’t include reblogging, despite it being a core function, that’s not anyone else’s say in the matter. the only thing i can think that anyone can do to stop that, if there’s setting for it i don’t think there is, is to turn off likes and keep on reblogs for posts in an attempt to force that kind of activity. which to be frank im pretty sure would actually decrease that desired activity though you wouldn’t see any “only liked”s anymore. like if i saw that i would personally start avoiding those posts because they’d feel guilt trippy and passive aggressive like how a lot of blogs who are used to twitter interactive levels do when they actively get mad for that sort of activity. it doesn’t feel good interacting with them, and this is coming from someone that reblogs a good 70% of what shows up on my dash or suggested. i want to enjoy the content i reblog and like whatever, not attemptedly guilt tripped into interacting with it in a specific way or not at all.

there are a lot of thoughts here but i do want to thank you for sending the ask bc i did open the discussion. But i kinda look at it another way ig as an artist and as someone who has a lot of artist moots.

Like people are not trying to guilt trip ppl to reblog stuff. People are frustrated that no one wants to share their art they put a lot of effort and time in. and its not because "ratios matter" for a clout reason or something its because the only way art gets shared on tumblr is through reblogs (well this applies to anything but esp art). And as artist a like can feel like your art isnt good enough to be shared.

In the end youre right that some ppl may never rb art. I personally just try to ignore it but ik some ppl may block for that too. Because it does hurt from the artists side. And people's increasing frustration is a reflection of that i think.

[anglespin]

smh do not feel guilty about it! unorthodox or not its a fun ship and idk! i like it ! and you like it! so thats good enough, u dont have to justify it to anyone. i personally think of it as same universe bc i just loooove time travel shenanigans. actually, i like thinking of both !! lol, like the fic i have in my head is uh basically no raccoon city incident re2 leon and ofc canon re6 leon. id talk about it but id simply explode thinking about them. i love them so much.

also do NOT get me wrong while i do prefer re2 and re6 leon, i would snatch up ANY leon before he could even BREATHE. and when i say *any* leon i mean *any. leon.* i am not physically capable of being normal about him. i am a very loud and proud leon lover. :3

hehe i wont lie i do have some thoughts ab di leon and re6 or vendetta leon, honestly any leon but its stronger for those 2 LOL. di leon...<3

anyways im rambling! im glad it made you happy to get an ask! i LOVE talking to ppl ab leon and also just. idk if i see stuff i like i want to say it!!! i KNOW you do stuff for YOU and bc YOU enjoy it but i also know how good it feels to hear that other people also enjoy it! i love being loud and proud ab stuff i like and i want others to be loud abt it w me 🐕

Ooowee thank you!!! Also I see what you mean about the same universe thing ands that's perfectly fine with me! Everyone has what they like-- I kinda like your fic idea too. Its neat! Oh..yes! Me too! I'd snatch them up in a heartbeat and pet em (with their permission of course, otherwise i'd make some hot coco for each one!). He's been my groove for awhile now and I love him so much. Leon lovers unite! DI leon really is something lol He's just... ugh!!! I can't even describe him. Cool as hell though? I love him! RE6 and DI always got my heart. Vendetta gives me cat vibes fr. Hey! No need to feel bad about rambling! I love listening and rambling always makes me happy cause its always interesting to me. I ramble or make 0 sense lol My thought process for what I make is "If there's nothing for it, then make it yourself!" and I apply it to everything hehe. I even have my own Leon bot to at least do stories with (fight scenes, what ifs, and just RE universe shenanigans with other characters). Also plan on making my own figures soon. Theres a Masterpiece RE6 Leon I'd love to buy but its well over 400 USD-- ouch lol. So I'll make one myself too.I enjoy what I make because it makes me alll happy inside and tickles my critter brain lol and thank you so much!!! Loud and proud all the way ftw! (Ah I'm unfamiliar with Tumblr culture since I haven't been on here in over 5 years. Its so different compared to twitter where im usually gnawing at my cage hehe. Tumblr gets what i don't post for my friends to see.)

[kyooongie]

Sorry it took me a few days to respond I got swamped with uni work (swamped meaning I neglected my assignments in favor of reading bbh fics and being on twitter and then school caught up with me) but GOD talking with you is so nice, you're saying everything I've been thinking recently about fics T^T I know exactly what vibe of fics you're talking about, those kinds of fics stay with me and affect me for a while because of how good the writing is, "real stories" is a great way to describe it. I love those ugh I'm not kidding I've been thinking in my mind for like a year or two that I wish people would write some of those kinds of beautiful fics for bbh on here again. I pretty much gave up hope though because exo tumblr writers in general are few and far between, and exo tumblr writers who do series or longer works are pretty much non existent nowadays.. And I feel like these kinds of fics aren't usually requested, more like the authors just come up with the idea for it, at least I think? Anyway hearing you say that you're planning on doing that kind of special gorgeous/longer/ao3 type fic for baekhyun literally made my entire year ngl :') I'm definitely looking forward to whenever you post them!!!!! Like so so much!!!!!!!!!! I'm sure I'll eat it right up. Finally some good fucking food for bbh fans LOL you're doing god's work fr fr ily.. Omg I have a rule of not reading incomplete fics too because if an author discontinues a fic or goes MIA it's too much for my poor heart ahah also I try not to read long fics that end in heartbreak/angst. I get too depressed like let me be happy and end up with my kyoongie baby pls omg... I read felon two years ago by accident because I saw it had so many parts so I thought it was complete so I read it OTL it's so incredible though so I can't even mind that it's without updates. I believe the author said last fall that she wanted to finish it before the end of 2022, so maybe hopefully we'll get an update this year instead, I'm manifesting it!

omg i can relate im soooo behind on readings fgdshjfdks AND IM AN ENGLISH/HISTORY MAJOR SO ITS BAD T__T baekhyun fics are just way better to read like im sorry...... also i keep staying up really late reading them/writing them and then missing my 8am oops

thanks for looking forward to my work omg!! i hope it doesnt disappoint xx im working on a long one but im thinking about putting out some short ones in the mean time bc i have SO many reqs waiting to be filled haha. i havent written fanfic since i was like 14 (lol) so it might take some getting used to.. hopefully my first attempts arent too horrible ;__ ; i do have a couple more ideas for long fics too hehe just trying to juggle school and friends and everything too so i dont have as much time as id like to write :-(

i will manifest a felon update too.. hopefully our combined psychic powers make it happen !!

[lolothesilly]

to comment about your rss feed post- i never stopped using rss feeds, when google tried to strike them down and many large websites gave up i kinda was just out of the loop because i never use corporate stuff in the first place. so remembering that there are still places that use rss feeds like tumblr is important to getting people to migrate from phone models to legacy ones, but i think at the end of the day the greatest evil is all the ui changes that came with the smart phone i have a flip phone and my daily driver is my laptop i am never off of, theres so many ui differences in endless scroll feed based websites that the people on neocities RESENT and desperately do not want to emulate so i really hope people are happy with how small and cute and sincere it is right now and use ANOTHER website maker to do more of what that post was talking about. because neocities is a spiritual successor of geocities and the traditions of webrings and guestbooks and emailing people directly and following the breadcrums of links is all apart of the learning curve and to disrupt that for the lesser endless feed scroll model is going to get us back to what corporate hell has entrapped us in. since twitter migration started on tumblr nobody makes real blog posts, people are alergic to paragraphs and intimacy and sincerity. i just appreciate neocities for having that and being too desperate for EVEN MORE USERS when we already have so many scares me, i already got to get off of tumblr for the expansion reasons that made it unusable and out right dangerous for me as a queer person. theres benefits many in being obscure and small.

im sorry i cant tell if im having a hard time processing this ask or what, im not 100% sure what youre saying here but ill try to respond as best i can, sorry if i misinterpret anything!!

so like i definitly agree with the "allergic to paragraphs and intimacy and sincerity" thing, i was thinking about it more last night and i think its a good thing that neocities doesnt really lend itself as much to the short-form posts you see on tumblr and twitter. bc like. i remember when i was a kid/teen, that kind of shortform flow-of-consciousness posting was mostly found in:

chatrooms (chatzy, IRC, guestbooks, shoutboxes, etc)

early social media status updates (like on myspace or facebook, the "had starbucks today lol 😜" kind of stuff)

and like. the niche chatrooms used to fill is now mostly filled by discord (though i know discord has Problems and i Think ive heard of alternatives to it?? havent looked into that as much) but. i think neocities being a home for longer posts about your interests is SO valuable honestly and i want more people to embrace that kind of thing!!

i feel like theres a sort of craving that sites like tumblr or twitter currently fulfill (badly) of like. throwing your thoughts into the void. not necesarily looking for a discussion but like. idk. its like if you wrote in a journal and then turned the pages into paper airplanes and threw them out your window.

(actually i remember in the 10s there was this site... i forget what it was called but it was like an anonymous "email" sort of service but your emails just went to random other users? literally shouting into the void, knowing someone will hear but can not respond because its all anonymous. idk it was neat)

but yeah. sorry. this is disjointed im really just thinking out loud. i just miss personal sites and fansites and forums and chatboxes and IRC chats..... i miss the way we used to use the internet, the way we used to share things with each other....

as far as RSS and feeds go i dont think its really all that comparable to the endless scrolling hell we have on modern social media sites, but i DO think it might scratch the same brain-itch while being less destructive. its hard to doomscroll if your "feed" is literally just "new articles posted by your friends on their personal websites" instead of like, "10000 reblogs and 1000000 random things the algorithm has decided to show you", yknow? its like. home grown organic media. idk

[mjvnivsbrvtvs]

thinking a lot of thoughts about familial legacies and filial piety and debts owed to the dead re: Brutus today

[crazyw3irdo]

i don't have an actual tweet thing for batfam twitter au/dickwing au/whatever im calling this for today so here's some headcanons(?) for that au (are they headcanons if you're the one making the au? eh some of these are just headcanons for the characters in general so i guess it still applies)

-bruce has been batman for a couple of decades now, he started in his early 20s and now he's in his late 40s

-the public thinks of bruce as this well-meaning (albeit himbo leaning) dad whose trying his best. back when he first started being batman his public bruce persona was just very much happy-go-lucky himbo (how can bruce be batman? bruce doesn't even know how to tie his shoelaces) but he's now graduated to tired dad (how can bruce be batman? he has six kids to take care of and a company to run)

-and yeah six kids, duke is officially adopted into the wayne family in this

-no, alfred does not have a twitter. he's got too much to deal with already. however, he does know everyone's account information, so yknow, in case a masked vigilante gets beat up really bad then it's not like their civilian account suddenly stops posting

-and yeah alfred is alive. he cannot die. i refuse to believe it. i'm already saying fuck canon i'm not stopping now

-i've seen people in the tags asking/speculating about this, but i've been going on the assumption that each character has two phones: one for vigilante-ing and one for civilian-ing. if one gets stolen or hacked then its not like the thief will suddenly have access to their identity. plus it's not like bruce can't afford multiple phones.

-dick started dickwing because he was bored and thought it would be funny; it becoming a "well no one will think dick grayson is nightwing because they're dating" thing was 100% unintentional but also 100% the immediate excuse he gave when asked by the rest of the fam why he did that.

-dick is a theatre kid. which is obvious from the way i've been writing him but i felt it needed to be said again. i wanna say his fave musical would be newsies but i haven't seen newsies personally so,, i mean, of the musicals i really like and am familiar with, i'd say it'd be cats. now if you're familiar with cats you're like "okay yeah i can see it" but if you only know about it from that terrible movie let me justify myself: it's a dance-heavy musical with lots of amazing feats of athleticism in the dances. also, look up what rum tum tugger looks like in the actual show and then remember dick's discowing costume. i'm right about this.

-cass still doesn't know how to read. she uses a text to speech program to have things read out for her. she's also mostly nonverbal

-babs uses a wheelchair in this. i know some canon stuff does the whole "yeah but she got better" but once again i don't like canon

-no one in this family is neurotypical but the ones i feel most strongly about are bruce and cass are autistic and dick has adhd. pretty sure they all have some form of ptsd too but ngl that seems kind of obvious. and yes bruce being autistic is canon i love reminding people of this :3

-speaking of canon things i like reminding people of because it's often ignored in canon, dick is romani! and bruce is jewish!

-bruce, dick, steph, and tim are bi. or yknow, some kind of mspec, i don't think dick is a big fan of labels, steph probably says she's whatever sexuality makes her joke funnier, and tim is still figuring it out. babs is also bi and that is solely because my mom is bi and babs is her favorite character. cass is a lesbian and you could tell me jason, dami, and duke are whatever sexuality you want and i'd believe you. ngl i don't personally feel comfortable giving dami a sexuality hc myself bc i don't really like shipping/imagining child character in relationships but eh you do you as long as its not actually sexual

-genderwise dick is nb. i am nb and he's my favorite character. i have the right. he's fine w all pronouns but mostly uses he/they. once again he's not really a labels kind of guy. and yes i am still obsessed with that official post that used they/them for damian i know they didn't mean it but yes he/they damian my beloved. also she/they selina kyle.

[awsugar]

I don’t understand why some big mcr blogs slate anyone who believes gerard and frank had a thing, like our view didn’t arise from nowhere there’s clearly evidence that has led us to think this. I get disliking those who push frerard in frank and Gerard’s faces (barely anyone does this nowadays) but slating people for believing they had something in the past is kinda ridiculous imo. Franks solo music speaks volumes but if you read into it you’re demonised as a frerardie

mmmmm am i down to clown today... ok i will speak.

actually im going to put this under a cut bc my last ask was a long one and i feel like i am going to talk about this for way too long bc its 1am and im honestly a little tipsy.

note: i just finished answering this it took me an embarrassingly long amount of time and i dont think the person who asked this is even going to read it but i apparently have a lot of thoughts and no one ever wants to listen to me lol 

firstable yea actually unfortunately anytime they do a livestream, or anytime anyone SOMEHOW RELATED to them does a livestream. there are ppl in the chat talking about frerard. they both have comments off on insta now, i didnt actually read the comments that much and franks have been off for ages but im positive there were people in the comments talking about frerard. i mean fuck, franks LAST tweet he qrted someone who tagged him in the replies of a pic of The Kiss. so i mean yea its definitely not a majority but it still happens extremely frequently.

this is like. genuinely really funny to me bc im sure frank didnt see it, i think he knows enough not to look at the chat for the most part. but the moral is that its 2021 and people STILL dont know how to act. i wont go on about it but it actively enrages me anytime i watch a stream. rule one of real person fandoms is keep all that shit in your fan spaces. which is actually why i prefer tumblr. none of them are on here. actively engaging in mcr fandom on twitter is too close for comfort, especially since frank follows a handful of my friends and also like. knows me.

so like moral of my most times unavoidable wall of text is that ppl are right to be frustrated with the fans who act this way. i am extremely frustrated with them. and i think for the people who have never like tinhatted or anything, this type of behavior stands out and makes an impression and becomes the like. poster child for ppl who are like 'hmmmmm but what if.' about the frank and gerard stuff.

anyway, moving on, i think a lot of peoples hang up is that they view it as rpf. which i have a couple things to say about actually. its no secret that i have read a lot of rpf. i had never heard of fanfiction until i started getting into mcr in 2008. that was my introduction. and at the time, in that community, it was completely normal. and it was for a loooooooooong time. i knew of people who didnt read fic or felt weird about it but the majority of people i interacted with DID read fic. and on top of that, the people who didn;t were nothing like they are today. we all got along. no one was like demonizing people who did read fic. in 2012 when i think mcr tumblr was at its peak, ALL of the most popular blogs were "frerardies" (hate that term). they all talked about and recced fic and a lot of them wrote it too. everyone had a boyfriends tag. anyway when i came BACK to the mcr fandom in 2016 after a couple years away post-breakup it was still like that. people talked about fic all the time and you didnt have to like, hide it in fear of being labeled as a terrible person.

i always discussed this stuff, fic and theories, openly on this blog. for YEARS. the first time i noticed the rpf shift was 2019 tbh, when my blog was suspended and i (not related) had a mental health crisis and i spent a handful of months off tumblr, when i remade on a different blog suddenly it seemed like people were like noooo you cant talk about that. ppl who read fic are disgusting. if you think something happened between them you're homophobic. i was like honestly baffled bc i didnt know how it had seemingly changed so much in a matter of like 4 months or so. but thats the society we live in now lmao.

anyway the other thing about rpf is that i think most of these people are hypocrites. bc almost everyone makes an exception for unholyverse. theyre like ok i will dabble in the most popular fic and see what its about while still demonizing the people who read OTHER fics. like ugh.

also i have noticed its an age thing. a lot of the time. almost every mcr fan i personally interact with or know, which is a lot of people, read fic, used to read fic and just sort of grew out of it, and/or (usually and) believe something happened between them. but everyone i interact with is an adult and all of my closer friends are long time mcr fans like me. i feel like the percentage of fans who are minors who are extremely anti-rpf is way higher than the percentage of adults. and i think thats just due to the fan culture we grew up with and the fact that young people a lot of times are like..it seems very performative in an attempt to be the least problematic person that ever lived.

also random side note its really funny to keep updated with this debate on twitter. they literally yoyo there. frerard is ok on a bi-weekly basis.

anyway back to what i was originally saying which was that people view tinhatting as rpf and therefor not okay. which like idk maybe i sound crazy but i also always said this when i was in the phandom and discussing like dan and phil and whether or not they were soulmates before they came out, i don't think tinhatting is rpf. or like. idk theres a part of me that can see why people think rpf is a bad thing even though if i was famous i wouldnt care if people wrote fics about me. but like. analyzying the real life things that people have done and said in public (important). in order to try to contextualize their relationship or understand that dynamic better. well i mean first of all its not fiction. but like i do think its a lot different than writing explicit bdsm fic about them.

and i know a lot of the people on here who dont like actively participate in these conversations do like. see where we're coming from. with the frank lyrics and millions and like all of that stuff. they just dont talk about it. i mean *I* have stopped mostly talking about it at all unless its vague, due to the current climate and opinion. and sometimes we'll all have a moment of hysteria where we've all decided its ok to speak about. me right now apparently.

anyway im positive no one read all of this. i need to learn how to be brief but ive been saying that my whole life. but you're right. to me its clear that there's a bigger story behind it than frank and gerard just being buddies who were in a band together. a logical conclusion. and i wish we could just all get along again instead of people being sooooo mad about it.