#two sequels being made proves that his family is neglectful

[novelist-becca]

Christmas movies I dislike STRONGLY that everyone else loves

Elf. I don’t know what it is, but the way Buddy acts when he’s 30 makes me cringe. He’s obnoxious and not in a lovable way.

Home Alone. This one is more tolerable, but I CAN’T get through it without wanting to punch every member of the McCallister family.

[dycefic]

Have An Evil Day

No prompt this time, just a sequel to ‘Welcome To Evil-Mart’

Working at Evil-Mart is usually… well, it’s retail. It’s physically exhausting, you have to deal with a lot of idiots without being overtly rude, and your feet hurt. Even though the hours and pay are very good, the benefits are great, and our bosses treat us well compared to most retail employees, it’s still not what I’d call a fun job.

But it’s not what I’d call dull, either. Especially not on days like today.

I was promoted to supervisor after the Food Poisoning Incident, so I have a little more authority and a little less obligation to be pleasant and I got issued a weighted cosh because sometimes Evil-Mart customers get… feisty. I’d never had to use it, though, because those who hadn’t seen what I did to Majority Rules, either in person or on one of the cell-phone videos that circulated afterwards, had at least heard about it.  They didn’t give me any trouble.

I was halfway through my shift, and the worst things that’d happened had been running out of croissants and a machine oil spill in Aisle Seven, when our greeter pressed the alarm button, which sent an alert to my handset. As front-end supervisor, that meant me, so I went over. Sam, who is unusual in the henching community for having actually aged out rather than ‘being retired’ jerked his chin in the direction of a tall, swaggering figure. “He just came in,” he whispered.

I did a full double-take before I took it in. Superdyne. Fucking Superdyne.

We’d all heard about his dramatic heel-turn a couple of months ago. The whole world had heard about it. Superdyne, who’d skated closer and closer to the line for years, had decided to cross it in a blaze of bloodshed. He was a villain now, he said. There’d been a whole speech about how ingratitude had driven him to it blah blah blah.

I work at Evil-Mart. I’m from a hench family. If someone becomes a supervillain because they hate Mondays or want to turn us all into dinosaurs or whatever, I don’t judge. I will sell depth-charges and laser guns to anyone who can prove they’re over eighteen without hesitation. But even we get kind of grossed out by the ‘I am forced to turn evil because I haven’t been given enough love’ thing. People who are actually so fucked up by emotional abuse or neglect or some superhero killing their family, we’re fine with them. But they don’t say that’s why they do it, and most of them need a lot of therapy to even realize it. People who actually say that’s why are entitled dickwads.

And now the dickwad had walked into Evil-Mart like he was entitled. Like he thought he was one of us.

“Lockdown protocols,” I told Sam quietly. “On my authorisation.” That takes a minute or two, though, so I went over to talk to Superdyne. “Sir, I have to ask how you even knew where to find this place.”

He smirked at me. “I have my ways,” he said smugly. He’d either bribed or beaten someone, that was my guess. “So this is where the villains shop? We all thought you went to Wal-Mart.” He laughed, like he thought it was clever.

“Yes, so you all say,” I said dryly. I didn’t feel like pretending he was the first person to make the bad joke. “My next question, sir, is what made you think it was a good idea to come in here.”

He spread his hands. “I’m one of you now!” he said happily. “I’m a bad guy! So now I guess I shop where the bad guys shop!” He looked around, frowning a little. “Although I was expecting more weapons and explosives. A… more villainous atmosphere. I didn’t know Evil-Mart had fresh produce.”

“I don’t advise buying herbs here unless you’re a magical practitioner. Some of them have… unusual effects.” A lot of our produce is normal stuff, but some of it not only isn’t legal, it doesn’t exist anywhere else.

“Oh. Well, that makes sense. But the bright lights and the bakery?”

“We have excellent gluten-free breads. In many ways, Superdyne, this is just another store. We have sales, we mark down the breads in the afternoon, we even have a PA system.” I pulled out my handset, and thumbed the button that tied it to the PA. “Attention, shoppers,” I said in my most soothing Customer Service voice, which made him grin. “Evil-Mart wishes to inform you – “ The countdown on my handset reached zero, and I turned to look at the entrance as a huge blast door thudded down. That was the last part of the sequence – staff outside the area were already in lockdown and security were on their way. I smiled, and continued almost without a pause. “- That we are in lockdown at this time, due to the presence of Superdyne in the store. Please remain calm, and be advised that security are on their way to deal with the problem. If you have a personal grudge that you wish to address with Superdyne at this time, he is standing near Register Six with a stupid expression on his face.”

He was staring at me, stunned. “But… but…” he stammered, and damned if he didn’t look puzzled. “But I’m one of you now!”

“No,” I said flatly. “You were always evil, that’s true, but you’ll never be one of us. And for the record, I’m one of the people with a personal grudge. All those henchmen you’ve killed and maimed had families, asshole… and they all shop here.”

He swung at me, then, but I spent years in hench training. Even someone super-strong can be dodged, and once I slammed my cosh into his groin a few times his punches got a lot more aimless. Around then, Tiger Ty came over the register, claws out and snarling, and I figured I should stand out of the way.

About ten minutes later, I turned on the PA again. “Clean-up to Register Six,” I called, in the same special voice. “Category 7, class three. Shoppers, please be advised that lockdown is now lifted but Register Six will be closed until clean-up is completed.”

Hunter, who’d been working Register Six, came out from underneath it. He looked a little green. Well, he was still in his teens, this was probably his first fatal mobbing. “What’s Category 7?” he asked in a shaky voice. “I haven’t heard that before.”

“Biohazard.”

“Oh. Class three?”

“Send three people. He was a juicy one.” I stepped away from a spreading puddle of blood. “Run and get a couple of caution signs we can put around this mess.” I eyed it measuringly. “And one of those fifteen-gallon plastic tubs with a lid, I’ll damage it out.”

He eyed the mess. “Are you sure that’s big enough?”

“Yeah, the average human is only about seventeen gallons by volume, and I’m not going to put all the blood and mush in there, just the big pieces.”

He gulped. “Ah. Yes, ma’am.”

I called after him when he ran off. “One of the black tubs, not a clear one!” Which honestly should only be common sense, but you can’t count on a flustered teenager to have common sense.

We frown on killing customers at Evil-Mart, up to a point… but when a particularly murderous super-hero walks into our store, well, that’s something else. I’d have to fill out a ton of paperwork, though.

I had to chase off one of Doctor Malign’s minons and two members of the Genetic Reign before the clean-up crew arrived, both of whom urgently wanted samples. In the end I scraped a few pieces of liver and unidentified organ into two of the bags we use for possibly-contaminated money just to make them go away. (They’re good customers, and it was just going to go in the trash anyway.)

By the time the clean-up was done, all the big pieces were boxed up, and I’d finished the paperwork, my shift had been over for twenty minutes, and I’d been asked to come up to the boss’s office.

“Listen, I have no issues with how you handled the situation, I want you to know that.” Mr Trent leaned back in his chair, tapping his fingertips together. “It was quick, it was efficient, and… given your personal history with Superdyne, not to mention mine and that of half of our customer base… richly deserved.”

“Yes, sir,” I said. It came out too meek, and I cleared my throat and straightened up. It’s hard not to be intimidated by Mr Trent, when you’re in the same room with him. It’s not his fault, and he does his best, but even under the strictest control his fear-inducing powers tend to unsettle anyone who gets too close. We all know he’s not doing it on purpose and we try not to show our reactions. “Do you have any orders regarding the remains?”

“Doctor Order wants them.” He rubbed his chin. “Get someone from the pharmacy to prepare samples for him, please, including brain tissue. He’s our primary supplier, and we can’t offend him. As for the rest… as you know, I’m retired, and I don’t usually participate in the Endless War.” One of his hands dropped to his left thigh. His prosthetic leg is some of Doctor Order’s best work, but the injury that led to his retirement had been brutal even by our standards. “But this is different. Superdyne came here. To our place of safety. We need to make sure that doesn’t happen again.”

I nodded. “Do you want the remains dumped somewhere public? Some kind of dramatic display?”

“No. Something more direct.” He rubbed his chin again, then tapped the intercom on his desk. “Iris, please send up Miss Fedorova from Marketing and Mr Levy from the warehouse.”

“Yes, sir,” Iris responded, and he clicked off the intercom again.

“The three of you worked together very well, during the food poisoning incident,” he explained. “And I believe they can assist us in a satisfactory conclusion.” He hesitated, then smiled ruefully. “Perhaps you should wait outside until they get here. I can tell I’m unsettling you.”

“Sir, I know you’re not – “

“Not doing it on purpose.” He sighed. “I do appreciate how hard you all work to make me feel… accepted, I really do. But I’m very annoyed right now, which makes control more difficult for me, so I think we’d both be more relaxed if you waited outside while I do my meditation exercises.”

I waited outside. When the three of us went into his office again, the miasma of low-level fear was definitely a bit lighter, and he smiled. “All right. Now, this conversation is going to be very confidential, and I will remind you all of the agreements you signed when you were employed.” We all chorused agreement, and he nodded. “Good. Now, this is very much a secret, even among Evil-Mart staff, but we do have a few online clients who are… ah… on the other side of the fence.”

Ms Fedorova blinked. “What?”

Knuckles sighed. “We ship to a few heroes,” he explained. “The ones who are… less homo than sapiens, if you get my drift.”

I didn’t, and from her expression Ms Fedorova didn’t either. Mr Trent spread his hands, drawing our eyes to his fingers. Which as a rule nobody looks at, because there’s fourteen of them, with four joints in each finger, and we know he’s self-conscious about it. “The less… purely human ones,” he said quietly. “One of the reasons I created Evil-Mart was to give those who can’t pass for human, like me, a place to be… people. To have dignity. So that the obligate carnivores weren’t reduced to living on pet-food or scavenging for scraps, so that those with complex metabolisms could get the supplements they need so that people who are still people, for all their outward differences, could shop in safety. There are a great many more monsters, demigods, abominations of science and other non-standard persons among our set than among the heroes, and I wanted to meet their needs, as well as selling weapons and Lair-away-from-home sets and so on.”

“And there are a few heroes who order from us for that reason,” Knuckles added. “The ones who can’t get medications to suit their metabolism, or need to eat things that you can’t get easily anywhere else.”

I nodded, because that much I understood. We have some very esoteric ‘dietary supplies’ that start with fresh, healthy, well-treated and disease-free prey animals frozen whole (from mouse up to calf and goat kept in stock, larger sizes by pre-order, halal and kosher certified where possible) and end with human blood (rejected blood bank stock mostly, we have an arrangement), and human flesh and organs (sourced from hospitals, morgues and crematoriums, guaranteed no murder, at least not by us). “Well, I suppose that makes sense. I’m surprised we ship to them, though.”

“Oh, they don’t know we know. It’s all assumed names and secret bank accounts.” Knuckles grinned. “But Mr Trent has all our online customers identified before we ship. And for the ones who don’t have any other options, well… we let it slide.”

“I can see why you don’t want that to get out.” Ms Fedorova tapped her chin. “What does this have to do with disposing of the body? I was planning to set up a really ghoulish display in a public place somewhere, I already have some sketches.” Marketing for Evil-Mart is… well, it includes more than designing our sale flyers.

“No. We’re going to deliver them to a hero… one of the ones who owes us… and make it very clear that just because someone decides to admit he’s a villain, that doesn’t make him one of us and it doesn’t entitle him to union services,” Mr Trent said flatly. “I want to make it crystal clear to all of them that a heel turn does not mean their sins are forgiven, or that we will accept them as anything other than a very brief amusement.”

Late that night – we were all on overtime, but it couldn’t be done in daylight – we wheeled a cart down the run-down hallway of a shoddy apartment building. “This is a terrible address for a hero,” Ms Fedorova muttered. “Are we sure he lives here?”

“I deliver here a couple of times a month.” Knuckles was pushing the cart. “I’m sure.”

“Okay.” Ms Fedorova cleared her throat, coughed once or twice, and suddenly her voice was deeper and her very faint Russian accent was as thick as pea soup. “This is intimidation tactic,” she said, grinning toothily. “Do not act surprised.”

I knocked on the door, but let Knuckles do the talking. “Delivery, Mr West,” he called, using the fake name the guy had been giving.

It worked… the door was unlocked and opened almost immediately. “I scheduled the order for next – “ the mark said, and then we were pushing inside, slamming the door behind us.

“Do not be alarmed, Mr… Dinoid, is it?” Ms Fedorova said, folding her arms. “Evil-Mart is knowing all along your real identity. But you are needing to eat, and we are not turning down regular business, so we make no trouble.”

Knuckles rolled his eyes behind her back at how much she was hamming it up, but I waved a hand. Let her have her fun. So Knuckles started unloading the boxes onto the table while she talked. “First, your Budget Bunny Box. Your favourite, da?” The next box, smaller, plunked down. “Two fresh chickens, halal certified, healthy and having lived good life, gift for good customer.” Knuckles dumped the plastic tub on the floor. “And mortal remains of Superdyne, with note.”

Dinoid was staring at us, but that made him shift into a combat stance, his long claws spread. “The… Superdyne’s dead? And in there?”

“Well. Most of him. The big pieces.” Ms Fedorova shrugged an impressively Russian shrug. I hadn’t even known that was a thing, but when she did it, it was obvious. “You must understand, when a mob tears a man apart, it is hard to find every little piece.”

“I’m pretty sure Doctor Malign and the Genetic Reign took off with doggy bags,” I said, as if I hadn’t handed them over myself. “And Doctor Order probably has some of him too, by now. So looking out for clones would be a good idea, I don’t know if that’s in the note.”

Insofar as that reptilian face could show readable expressions, he looked shocked. “Why on earth would… why? He changed sides? And why did you bring him to me?”

“We know your address, we know you don’t want to turn us in because we’re the only ones who can supply your meals, and our boss wanted us to make this very clear.” I indicated the note. Since Ms Fedorova was hamming up her Sexy Russian Supervillain act, and Knuckles was very obvious Muscle, I figured it was on me to be the Reasonable One. “He might have stopped being a hero, but that didn’t make him one of us. That didn’t make him acceptable to us. Our boss wants it made very clear that your failures shouldn’t expect to be accepted by us… or even spared by us.”

He shifted slowly, the tip of his tail twitching. “I… see. I understand why you would reject Superdyne. He was notorious for killing and maiming people on… your side. But I know other defectors have been accepted. Philomel, for example.”

“Philomel was child of villains. She is young, she is rebellious, she sides with heroes for a while.” Ms Fedorova shrugged. “Is understandable, da? The young do foolish things. She comes home, all is forgiven.”

He nodded slowly. “Tenebrous?”

“That story I don’t know.” Ms Fedorova glanced at me.

I nodded. “Tenebrous was just a kid. He was twelve when Varide recruited him. Nineteen when he broke with the guy. Varide put a kid into combat, left him with massive PTSD, then ditched him when he had a breakdown and went too far. Mx Frantique at least made sure he had a safe place to stay and some therapy.”

“It’s happened a few times.” Knuckles rested his elbows on the cart’s handles, his inhumanly big, strong hands dangling. “But there’s a process. A system. If someone’s sponsored by a villain in good standing, like Frantique sponsoring Tenbrous, they can be accepted. Nobody gets to just choose to join. Especially not a smug, entitled prick like Superdyne.”

Ms Fedorova suddenly leaned forward, scowling. “And why are you called Dinoid? You are not dinosaur. You are clearly monitor lizard. Golden monitor, I think.” She reached out and prodded his arm. “And not healthy, either. Look at colouration! You do not keep environment humid enough. Are having trouble with shedding, da?”

Now we were all staring at her. “You’re a lizard expert now?” Knuckles asked.

She shrugged. “What? Is hobby. Mamma’s little Varanus Acanthurus are pride and joy. Sadly, cannot keep larger monitors in city. Is unkind.”

Dinoid ran a hand over his head slowly. “Not many people realize,” he said slowly. “That’s why I order from you guys. I used to get frozen… food… from a pet supplier, but then I got contacted by someone who told me there was another option.”

“Is good thing. Those pet suppliers, they are rogues. They do not keep animals healthy, can get diseases or mites from those things.” Ms Fedorova sniffed. “I would never buy from them. My babies would get sick.”

He actually chuckled, then, seeming to relax a bit. “You’re not wrong. After… this happened… I got really sick a couple of times before I figured out what to eat, and where to get it. And even the reputable suppliers don’t always have the healthiest stock.” He opened his mouth wide, making a gagging noise. “You have no idea how bad that ‘reptile food’ is. Eating whole animals may be a little disgusting, but it’s nothing to some of that stuff.”

“I believe it,” I said emphatically. “There’s a reason Evil-Mart has such an extensive pet-food line. The horror stories we hear from some of our customers… well, you’d believe it, I bet, but most humans just look confused.”

Knuckles nodded, and spread his hands. “People who can’t pass for regular humans… or even for people, the way most normies see it… are a lot more common on our side of the fence than yours. That’s why we delivered to you. We figured you really needed it.”

“Does he order from the pharmacy?” Ms Fedorova was around behind him now, examining his back. “He is having calcium deficiency, am betting. He needs nutritional supplement.”

“I take a nutritional supplement,” he said defensively.

“The one for normal-sized lizards is not enough for man-sized monitor/human hybrid,” she said firmly. “Check pharmacy section next time. We are having excellent selection of supplements for hybrids, and chart to tell you how much to take for body-mass.”

He looked back and forth between the three of us. “You people are… not what I would have expected from an evil supermarket.”

“We may be… morally challenged,” I said, shrugging, “but we’re not heartless.” I looked around his tiny, shabby apartment. “Unlike some of your lot. I thought you were on a team. Why are you living here?”

He ducked his head. “I couldn’t live at the base,” he said, his tail drooping. “My… I made people uncomfortable. And the stipend isn’t much.”

“Isn’t much? With the merchandising deals they have?” Ms Fedorova sounded shocked, and the accent had dropped back a lot. “I know for a fact that if the accountants ever got hold of their books they’d owe more in back taxes than… well, than Evil-Mart would if our illegal product arm ever got discovered. And we pay our taxes on the legitimate stuff scrupulously.”

Dinoid blinked rapidly, though I couldn’t tell whether he was more surprised by her suddenly dropping her act or the idea that Evil-Mart pays taxes. “You do?”

“Of course. Not under that name, of course, there’s a shell company.” She sniffed. “All villains do. Al Capone, you know. We’re not getting caught that way again.”

Knuckles and I both nodded when he looked at us, and he shook his head. “Huh. Makes sense, I guess.”

“It does.” I looked around again. The place really was crappy. “I know it’s a personal question, Mr… West, but under the circumstances I’d like to know… how much is that stipend?”

He looked down at the floor for a while, then cleared his throat. “Uh. $1100 a month.”

We all stared at him. Ms Fedorova’s mouth fell open. Knuckles looked shocked, and I was horrified. “$1100 a month?!” I asked, my voice coming out louder than I’d intended. “For risking your life on a superhero team?! I have teenaged cashiers working part-time who make more than that!”

He looked almost as startled as we did. “For working a cash register?!”

“Evil-Mart pays pretty good.” Knuckles shrugged. “But that stipend is disgusting.”

“You are being exploited,” Ms Fedorova said, sounding really aghast. “That is terrible. Why, baseline henchman pay is twice that, and there are danger bonuses and…” Her voice dropped suddenly. “You don’t have a union, do you?”

“A union? Of course we don’t have a…” He trailed off. “You mean you do?”

“Of course we do. An extremely well-armed one.” Ms Fedorova folded her arms. “Henchmen And Allied Industries has represented us for generations. The last time a supervillain executed a union henchman for failure, he was boiled in oil… literally. On camera. Oh, of course some of the less reputable villains just pick up small-time trash from the streets, untrained rabble from the gangs and so on, so they can treat them as disposable, but we union members are skilled workers, with rights and protections. I bet you don’t even get overtime.”

“Of course not. Crime happens when it happens, and we have to…” He trailed off. “You guys get overtime?”

“We’re getting double time and a half for this conversation. And an extra day off.”

His eyes widened again. “Really? Wow, that’s… even when I was working a regular job, before this, I didn’t get pay like that.” He looked down at his hands and bared his teeth in what looked like an unhappy expression. “And now I can’t work anything but this kind of job. People don’t like having a scary dinosaur in their restaurant.”

There was a long pause.

“You can cook?” Ms Fedorova asked carefully.

“Yeah. I worked in my parents’ restaurant before… this.” He gestured at himself. “They were killed when we were attacked, and I was… changed.”

We all looked at each other. “After you’ve returned Superdyne’s remains to whoever you consider appropriate,” I said, grabbing a notepad and scribbling down my number, “I’d like you to give me a call. Evil-Mart is always hiring in the bakery and deli, and I mean always. Most bad guys aren’t great cooks. We don’t know why, it just seems to be one of those things.”

“You want me to join the bad guys?”

“I want you to work in a bakery. Villains and henchmen need to eat, and so do their families. Nobody’s going to ask you to rip superheroes in half, just maybe make a sandwich that won’t give anyone food poisoning.”

“That’s a regular concern?”

“Six months ago the three of us ran Evil-Mart’s physical store completely unassisted for most of a day because the only people who weren’t down with food poisoning were the ones who’d had the vegetarian and kosher meals.” I shuddered at the recollection. “Trust me. Someone who can cater staff functions without a major disaster would never have to live in an apartment like this working for us.”

“And we get full benefits, including dental.” Knuckles was shaking his head. “I bet you don’t even get hospital.”

“What hospital would take me? I always figured I’d go to the zoo and talk to the vet if – “

Ms Fedorova actually put her arms around him. “You,” she told him firmly, “are going to resign your terrible exploitative job, and then I will personally sponsor you to the union immediately. I have a spare room. You will like it. Humidity and temperature can be set just how you like, and Mamma Yelena will take you to real doctor expert in health of hybrids.”

“Those exist?” he asked, sounding a bit overwhelmed.

“Yeah, the Genetic Reign has like three of them,” I said sympathetically. “Listen, you can take some time to think it over, but you don’t have to put up with this kind of exploitation just because you don’t look human. Nearly a third of Evil-Mart’s staff can’t pass, and they’re treated just like everyone else.”

Superdyne’s dramatic demise got a lot of news coverage. Apparently it came as a real shock to the ‘good guys’ that there were some monsters even the superest villains wouldn’t embrace.

Dinoid no longer exists. Ismail Jameel works at Evil-Mart, and has expanded our fresh food lines a lot already. He’s a nice guy, and after Ms Fedorova told everyone how disgustingly he’d been exploited by those so-called ‘heroes’, he was welcomed with open arms. Literally, in at least one case – he’s dating someone from the warehouse, I’ve heard, though I don’t know who. He says we should rename the store, because we suck at being evil.

But evil is a really relative term. It can mean the blackest depravity, or a moment of viciousness, or even just ‘people on the other side’. Evil-Mart is called that because everyone, at least everyone on our side, is welcome. Plus, we all think it’s funny that the least-evil megacorporation is called ‘Evil-Mart’. What can we say? Bad guys have a sense of humour too.

Have an evil day!

[papa-rhys]

Thoughts on Jack and His Borderline Personality Disorder and How It Shows Through His Behaviour - Because I Cannot Stop Analysing Things That Ultimately Aren’t Important

Symptoms/behaviours under the cut because holy hell this guy has a lot of them. Like, honey, are you okay?

Okay, so I’m pretty sure I can trace Jack’s BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder) back to his grandmother. His mum abandoned him, which shows a reckless/irresponsible behaviour and her mum had fits of rage that didn’t correlate at all with the trigger (ie; drowning Jack’s cat because he didn’t make his bed). So I think he has a family history of it, with both his mother and grandmother having BPD and passing it down to him.

Either way, Jack definitely has it. In fact, he’s a textbook case of it.

Impulsivity

Spending sprees: he bought a pony made of diamonds because he was bored and throws money at all kinds of ventures to keep him occupied and because he wants to. I really don’t know how else to describe this one lol. He bought a pony. Made of diamonds. Because he could.

Gambling: won some of the things on his trophy shelf through poker and owns an entire casino. Hunting the Vaults themselves were a huge gamble too, especially the first two, since he wasn’t truly sure that they existed. He was prepared to sacrifice a lot in order to come out on top in both his career and his social standing. All in all, he’s reckless.

Binge eating: he doesn’t even like pretzels, but still eats them because he’s either bored or stressed. Talks about food quite a bit in conversation, too, especially his cravings.

Substance abuse: admits to being high on uppers for the duration of the pre sequel (and his time on Elpis as a whole) and tells further anecdotes about drugs and getting high in tftbl.

Promiscuity/unsafe sex: nothing about having sex with Nisha is safe lol. But in all seriousness, there’s no way to prove this one. He does strike me as the reckless sex sort though. No proof, just 7 years of knowing him as a character.

Emotional instability

Inappropriate trigger response: he strangles a man to death for simply mentioning his wife, stabs Lilith for talking about Angel, and tries to kill Rhys for not being sure about his grand plan (more on this later). His response to triggers is disproportionate, often resulting in extreme anger over small things that don’t warrant that intense of a reaction. He gets big angry about almost everything; there’s no middle ground. His reaction is never really “you’re annoying me a lot” or “don’t talk about that, I don’t like it.” His reaction to almost everything is “oh my god I will murder your first born child how dare you-”

Quickly changing mood: aside from being prone to fits of rage at the flick of a switch, Jack also flicks back to “normal” pretty quickly, too. He flips between telling you to kill yourself after surviving the train and then talks casually about his day. He’ll be filled with rage after Angel’s death and then suddenly he’s laughing about you jumping into lava and having fun tricking you into visiting his grandmother. He can be intensely angry or sorrowful one moment and then nonchalant and sociable the next. His moods don’t last very long.

Idolisation/devaluation

Jack does this with numerous people across the games, but the two shining examples are Moxxi and Rhys; Rhys being the most notable. He idolises Moxxi, complimenting her on how attractive she is and how smart she is and including her in his circle of close friends/teammates. Then the inevitable happens and she lets him down and he instantly changes his opinion on her as if he’d never thought she was good to begin with. The same happens with Rhys. Throughout tftbl, Jack is best friends with Rhys and seems to form a one-sided connection with him where he idolises him and thinks they’re going to be best friends for ever and that they’re the perfect team. You cannot make him mad at you in tftbl (trust me, I’ve tried). He’s encouraging to Rhys the whole way through, like they’re brothers. Then the second Rhys displays doubts about something Jack is passionate about, Jack reacts violently and completely devalues Rhys, claiming him to be his mortal enemy and trying to kill him. People with BPD do this often. They have strong convictions and have a tendency to feel betrayed by people who go against those convictions. Jack does this regularly and it leads to the breakup of a lot of his relationships.

Paranoia

He vented a room full of scientists into space, just in case. I mean, that pretty much sums it up, really. Jack is under a lot of stress at this point in the game and stress-induced paranoia is a particularly difficult symptom of BPD. With him already feeling the pressure, the mention of a possible mole is a huge trigger for Jack. Especially since he’s reeling from the recent betrayal from a friend. His brain is already working over time, planting uneasy feelings of distrust and being unsafe. So when he’s presented with the idea from an outside source, he runs with it. Betrayal goes on to become a big button to push in Jack’s life to the extent that he actively betrays people before they get a chance to betray him (ie; killing Wilhelm). Paranoia feeds into a lot of Jack’s bad decisions, particularly in the pre sequel era.

Delusion

Jack wasn’t lying when he told us that he’s the hero. He absolutely was not the hero at all, but he wasn’t lying about it. Because lying about something implies that you know it’s not true, and Jack genuinely believes he’s a good person. The best person, in fact. It’s not a lie because in his mind, it’s the god given truth. He’s massively delusional, even before the events of the pre sequel. He’ll spout all the cheesy 80s movie lines about saving the moon and being the hero and he thinks he’s the protagonist of his own big adventure. We know that’s not what’s happening, but Jack doesn’t see it that way. Another delusion is the idea he has about how much everyone loves him. He thinks Moxxi is obsessed with him and he thinks Angel is being forced to work against him. He cannot conceive of a world in which people don’t like him or agree with him. Because why wouldn’t they agree with him? He’s the hero. Everybody loves the hero...

Intense but unstable relationships

Moxxi, Angel, Lilith, the Vault Hunter; I could go on. Jack’s relationships with people are volatile and rocky, even when they’re seemingly on the same side like with Moxxi or even Nisha (who he forms a tight bond with very quickly). People with BPD feel all emotions intensely, which causes a roller coaster. Jack really likes Moxxi, but then he doesn’t want to talk to her, but then he wants her on the team, but then he gets mad at her for calling him a pet name and beign friendly, and then he’s telling her she’s sexy, and then he’s cursing her, and then he’s hanging pictures of her in his casino. It’s the same with Angel - he subjects her to physical torture, then he loves her, then he’s mad at her for helping the Vault Hunter, then he’s doting on her, then he’s manipulating her, then he’s grieving for her. Everything is a whirlwind.

Distorted self-image

Oh boy. Jack has this physically and mentally. Mentally in the sense that he thinks he’s a good person when he actions are abhorrent and also because he’s massively insecure. BPD often comes with a lack of identity, which causes insecurity to begin with. Throw that in a pot alongside some childhood abuse, betrayal, work place bullying, and grief, and you got yourself a big pot of insecurity soup. Put plainly, Jack doesn’t really know who he is at his baseline. His personality and interests and ideas and needs all change on an hourly basis. He morphs to suit his circumstances. He can be open, honest and down to earth when he’s trying to trick Rhys. He can be full of worry and desperation when he needs you to head to grandma’s house. He can be cunning and clever when he’s tricking you into killing Wilhelm. He can be fatherly, he can be nasty, he can be torturous, he can be laid back, he can be clever, he can be ignorant, he can be sheepish, he can be cocky. He’s everyone and no one all at once and this probably leaves him feeling very hollow and empty; which is another symptom of BPD. In the physical sense, Jack issues with self image are pretty clear. He wears a face over his face to hide his face. Yup. And he does this because he thinks he’s disgracefully ugly. This scar he’s so vehemently protective of is something that defines his whole persona going forward. He literally claims himself as Handsome Jack, forcing people to adhere to the idea that he’s so attractive that it should be his title. Even though he doesn’t feel that way and does everything he can to hide the real him. He thinks he’s hideous and he struggles between loving himself and hating himself because of it.

Fear of abandonment

Aaaand here we are at the crux of the problem. BPD boils down to the intense fear of abandonment and this is probably what guides Jack for most of his life. His father died, his mother literally abandoned him, his grandmother neglected him, his first wife died, second wife left, girlfriend and friends betrayed him, and daughter killed herself to get away from him. Abandonment is practically coded into Jack’s DNA at this point and every time it happens, it confirms his fears more. He clings to Moxxi after she betrays him - taking her ideas to try and rile her up and even going as far as to recreate her entire bar in his casino because he wants to keep her presence around. He fights tooth and claw against Angel’s rebellion, begging both her and you to stop what you’re doing and leave. The only time he begs you is when he’s facing perceived abandonment, that’s how strong the fear is. His final words to Angel are “I’ll still forgive you.” Jack isn’t a forgiving man by any stretch, but he’ll say anything he has to in order to prevent her from leaving him. He’ll stalk people, he’ll manipulate them, he’ll lie to them or keep them physically locked up - all to prevent them from abandoning him. The worst possible thing that could happen to Jack is that, and we see the spiral he slips into after Angel. After Moxxi. After the Meriff. After his wife. He can’t bare the thought of someone leaving him and he’ll do anything and everything to prevent his fears becoming a reality.

So yeah! There it is, I finally got around to posting it lol. There’s probably a lot more little details that I’ve forgotten, but I cannot think of them right now. I’ll probably update if I think of any more! The tl;dr is that almost all of Jack’s behaviour can be linked to massively untreated BPD. He needed meds and therapy, but he didn’t get them and he spiralled as a result.

[lilmissbacon]

Frozen 3 concept

I'mma start off with explaining that I'm not the biggest fan of Frozen and I'm definitely not a fan of Elsa's character in general.

But as much as I love the songs and outfits of the second movie, the inconsistencies and how it never explains how sh🤬 works in the world with magic and such are just infuriating. As well as why the spirit that connects them controls ice which is just a variation of water. And how the Frozen franchise just loves to make Elsa more special within every installment.

I am so very tired of it. So I came up with a way that it could all be fixed and make sense if they make a third movie.

Also to note that Anna and Elsa are supposed to be two halves of the fifth spirit but that's VERY briefly touched in movie (quote: well actually a bridge has two sides and mother had two daughters) and Disney themselves take Elsa as the fifth spirit alone so that's stupid.

Why Elsa specifically controls ice

We all know how we're frustrated with the fact that Elsa is supposed to connect all the elements when she only controls ice.

But let's think about it from another prospective. The first movie is based about the seasons. It's a seasonal theme rather than an elemental theme like in its sequel. So why not bring that back?

The enchanted forest cannot be the ONLY place that has mystical spirits. What if there were three other forests with their own fifth spirits and each fifth spirit represented a season?

And each seasonal spirit's magic is a mix of two elements.

Elsa/Winter: Ice = water + air

Spring: Plants = water + earth

Summer: Lava = earth + fire

Fall: Lightning/Storms = air + fire

This still fits in with the fact that the fifth spirit can play back moments in time as well. Each spirit has their own Ahtohallan. Elsa's is made of ice because it's just frozen water and the water is was plays back those moments in time.

Spring's would be like an island made of plants, fungi and marsh. Plants have water running within them so they can take the form of moments in time like Elsa's ice statues.

Summer's would be a volcano with a river flowing through it. Lava and water can mix to create lava rocks. When doing so the memories within that water would be imbedded into the rocks they form and therefore be able to play moments in time as rock statues.

Autumn's would basically be a fog bank with almost ghostly figures making up the memories since fog is a mist, aka: water. Kinda like the scene where Elsa fights the wind spirit and their powers mix for a moment.

Where the others come from

For this, I decided to look around other lands within that side of the world that has legends of spirits. I decided upon:

Spring = Scotland

Summer = Arabia

Fall/Autumn = Japan

I chose for Arabia to be summer, of course , because it's a desert country so it very hot. Japan is autumn because it's culture and everything just always reminded be of the beauty of fall. And Scotland is spring because that's what was left and when I think of Scotland, I think of it's green forests and plants.

Nothing too deep.

Personalities

You think I'd make Summer hotheaded and spring, giddy and bouncy, right?

No, because you see, as I've stated in another post of mine; Why Frozen Doesn't Work In The Big Four, I explained how Elsa's personality reconciles more with summer. The opposite season of her own.

Elsa is kinda quiet, gentle, diplomatic, practical, worries silently and is angelically innocent (even though she doesn't deserve to be).

All are traits relating to summer. So if her personality is opposed to her season, then it'd be the same for the other fifth spirits.

Spring would be a leader, confident, energetic, true to a cause, dependable, easily irritated and stubborn.

Summer would be reserved, well mannered, a good listener, natural poise and pessimistic.

And autumn would be energetic, tender-hearted, optimistic, friendly and overly talkative.

How the spirits work

I fully believe that the spirits have no physical form but rather inhabit certain things. Basically possession but the spirits don't have control over themselves once they choose a vessel and depending on the solidarity of what their element is, determines what kind of vessel they need.

The wind spirit is said to be a playful spirit and would want to make its own choices. Being an element you can't hold, it doesn't really need a host.

Water is liquid and needs something to be it's host but doesn't necessarily need something alive. Therefore it can inhabit a small animal or it inhabits its own element, hence a water horse.

Fire isn't a solid or liquid but it's not necessarily a gas either. Fire always needs to burn on something in order to burn. Therefore it cannot just make out it's own body like water but it doesn't need a large vessel. Hence, a little salamander.

Earth is the most solid of them all so it would need multiple hosts in order to sustain itself. That's why there are multiple earth giants and not just one like the other spirits.

I believe the spirits don't have control over their actions once they choose a host because all the spirits (besides wind) seem to not know what's even going on most of the time. And that would explain why the spirits didn't get rid of the dam themselves, because their vessels didn't know that was the problem.

I also believe that they need a host to begin with because they are actually susceptible to death. As it has been confirmed that Elsa is NOT immortal and there wouldn't have been a legend of a fifth spirit if people hadn't seen one before.

It would also explain how the spirits drove the citizens out of Arendelle without physically being there; they managed to leave their hosts for a time in order to do so. Along with what the light that Elsa was following at Ahtohallan, was. The fifth spirit was able to sustain itself by staying in its birth place and activated the memory of Elsa's mom singing, to bring Elsa there and when Elsa's dress transforms is when the spirit possesses her.

Why does the fifth spirit need to be human? Because humans are more durable. The fifth spirit doesn't control anything completely solid like rock so it doesn't need multiple vessels but it also controls more than a single element, therefore is too much to figure out/control for just any animal.

That's why it chose a very young child to give it's powers to rather than the person who actually did the deed of saving their enemy. It needs to be someone who will have the time to learn and control their powers by adulthood.

(Despite Elsa not truly being worthy and being a horrible sister, she was already chosen at birth and she at least gets the job done. At everyone else's expense but still.)

Plot

How would the seasonal spirits meet? Why would they leave their homes for this? What brings them together?

The four sided snowflake represents the elements connected to the winter spirit. Every season would have their own version of this. But there are also four seasons just like there are four elements.

So, could there be a fifth spirit for the fifth spirits? A fifth spirit to connect the seasons and if so, what is it? What's their power?

I believe, much like the winter spirit called to Elsa, the ultimate fifth spirit will call all the seasonal spirit's to come together at a single location. Anna would come with Elsa as well, of course, and during their journey, they'd all eventually meet each other along the way.

Eventually Anna would start to feel a little neglected when Elsa keeps talking to / about the other people who also have magic. Anna doesn't wish for magic, but she wishes for Elsa to finally see herself and Anna as equals (because Elsa clearly wouldn't after finding others like herself, let's be real). So Anna goes off to have her own sort of "Show Yourself" moment and is the one to find the location they've been looking for which is where she becomes their fifth spirit; the Aurora Borealis.

It was in one of the original scripts for the first movie that Anna was gonna have the power to control the Aurora Borealis, but then the creators decided that took away from Elsa's agency for self isolation due to her powers.

It's true that Anna having been able to accomplish what she did without powers is one of her best attributes but Anna becoming the light spirit is really the only way she's gonna get any appreciation within the fan base or the disney community. Plus Anna's done all the work to begin with so she deserves it.

With the other spirits being seasonal & elemental, it would only make sense for the one to connect them all would be light.

But all the spirits also have an opposite to balance them out:

Fire | Water

Earth | Air

Winter | Summer

Spring | Autumn

So maybe the reason they were all being called there is because Light's opposite is Darkness and it's plotting to take them all out. They are in charge of keeping balance and darkness wants to create chaos. But you also need darkness for balance, so maybe someone else will be with them through the journey and become the vessel for darkness in order to control it. Because, again, spirits have no control once they have a host.

This could be a possible redemption arc for Hans. We could learn about what he's been through and what truly drove him to be the bad guy because from what we know of his brothers, they were really bad. I think he just really lost a nerve due to unintentional (or intentional) abuse and was trying to prove to his family that he was better than they believed. People who suffer from abuse can be irrational like that.

I think it would be a phenomenal thing for him to overcome his inner darkness while also taking control of the literal spirit of darkness.

Metaphorical-wise it's beautiful.

Art/Designs

I edited the other seasons + Anna off of concept art for Elsa's white dress while Hans is kinda my own creation but I still used his concept art for a base. Everything after that are purely original.

Location they are led to ⬇️

Let me know what you all think 👍

[freddiesaysalright]

Blessed Part 3

The Peace Like a River Sequel

Summary: Gwilym and Y/N are married. Violet is six years old. Baby number two is on the way. There are still some shadows that plague Y/N in her marriage to Gwil, and Violet is suddenly resentful of her parents. The Lee family tries to stick together.

Word Count: 2.4k

Tag List: @psychosupernatural​, @someone-get-a-medic​, @bensrhapsody​, @deakyclicks, @crazylittlethingcalledobsession​, @minigranger​, @simmisblog​, @assembledherethevolunteers​, @lookuptotheskiesandsee​, @readinghorn​, @riddikuluslypotter​, @doingalrightt​, @misslolasworld​, @lemurian-starship​, @ravenedges-lies, @painkiller80​, @imgonnabeyourslave​, @crazyweirdocalledfriday​, @ixchel-9275​, @sincerelygmg, @lv7867​, @unicorn-princess-1999​, @delilahmay39​, @chlobo6​, @dragon-out-of-water​, @radio-hoo-ha​, @agentmalfoy24601​, @thigh-your-mother-down​, @im-an-adult-ish​, @anotherhystericalqueen​ If you want to be added, let me know!

A/N: Fluff, fluffity, fluff fluff fluff

Haven’t read Peace Like a River? Start here!

Part 1  Part 2

Part 3 here we go!!!

Gwilym swallowed nervously outside Violet’s door. You looked into his face and gave his hand a comforting squeeze.

“It’s gonna be fine,” you whispered.

“I hope so,” he breathed back.

You took the knob and turned it, opening the door slowly. You found Violet sitting on her bed, reading a favorite book of hers. Gwilym had given it to her as a Christmas present, and she had read it so many times now the spine was falling apart. It was something they bonded over since after you moved, Gwilym was the one who read to Violet before bed. It instilled such a love of literature in her already, and you were very proud of her reading abilities for her age.

“Hi, Violet,” you said, surprised at the calm in your voice.

When Gwilym showed you such understanding, you felt it was easier to extend the same to your daughter. He was right, after all. Something must be wrong for Violet to lash out the way she did.

“Are you still mad at me?” she asked in a small voice.

You and Gwilym took seats on her bed beside her. You gathered her up in your arms.

“I’m sorry I yelled,” you said. “I was scared and upset, but that doesn’t make it right.”

“I forgive you, Mommy,” she returned.

You kissed the top of her head.

“Sweetheart,” Gwilym said. “Will you please tell us what’s been on your mind? We want to support you and get to the bottom of this. Help you work it out.”

Violet detached herself from you and sat back, pulling her knees into her chest. She rested her chin on them, looking pensive.

“I don’t wanna make you guys feel bad,” she said.

You and Gwilym exchanged a surprised look.

“Have we done something wrong?” you asked.

“No,” she sighed. “But...I dunno…”

“Talk to us, lovie,” Gwilym urged.

“Everything’s different now,” she said. “With Sybil.”

“What do you mean?” you wondered.

“Well, the way everybody talks about her...I hear what the doctors say,” she went on. “Dad’s not my dad.”

Oh. You looked at Gwilym again, and you saw the color drain from his face. The time had come where Violet could comprehend that Gwilym was not her father. She was too young to understand the way babies were made, but she was old enough to register that one man made her, and another made her sister. 

“It makes me feel different,” she continued. “Like I’m the oddball. So when Robbie started teasing me about my accent, it made me feel like that even more.”

She sniffled as more tears welled up in her eyes. She looked directly at you.

“Mommy, did you even want me?” she whimpered. “Like you wanted Sybil?”

Your heart shattered inside your chest. You felt your own emotion threatening to make you have a complete meltdown at that question, but you held it together. You took your daughter in your arms again.

“Oh, baby,” you said, stroking her hair. “Of course I wanted you. You were...well, you were certainly a surprise, but when I knew I was going to have you, I didn’t want anything more. In fact, you made me the strongest I’ve ever been in my life. I wouldn’t trade you for the world.”

She released a little sob and clung to your shirt.

“My real dad...he wasn’t a good person, was he?” she asked, looking up at you.

You truly ached for her. Her tear stained face and red, puffy eyes showed how deeply this had affected her, and the torment she’d been through over it.

You shook your head.

“No, he wasn’t,” you told her. You gently wiped away her tears with your thumbs. “But he gave me you. And for that, I will always be grateful. My perfect little girl.”

Gwilym watched you in amazement. You weren’t lying to Violet, but you weren’t sugar coating anything either. The balance you maintained in this difficult conversation was truly impressive. It took some courage to look your child in the face and tell them a harsh reality like this. He fell in love with you all over again in this moment.

Violet nodded and then turned and looked at Gwilym.

“I feel like I forced you to -”

“Oh, Violet, don’t,” he said gently. “C’mere.”

He sat further back, against her pillows, and she crawled into his lap.

“Y/N, could you give us a moment alone?” he requested.

You nodded, pushing yourself to your feet, and walking to the door. You told them you loved them and then departed, heading downstairs. You felt some relief after talking to Violet, and understanding her at last. It was a good idea for her to talk with Gwilym alone. They needed to clarify their own relationship.

Gwilym pulled Violet into a warm hug. He held her a moment and let her cry into his chest. This was such a heavy weight for a child, and he wanted her to know she didn’t carry it alone. He would always support her, no matter where she came from or where she went. He put every ounce of his love for her into the embrace, and he just hoped she felt it.

“That’s it, love,” he soothed. “You have yourself a good cry.”

She hiccuped and burrowed further into him.

“You’ve been through a lot today,” he went on. “And you’ve had so much going on inside. Let it out.”

He rubbed her back until her breathing evened out again and she relaxed against him. 

“You have never forced me to be your dad,” he said. “Yes, you called me Daddy and it stuck, but I wanted to be that for you long before you said the word.”

“Really?” she wondered.

He nodded. “Really. I love you very much. I may not have made you in your mum’s belly, but you are my daughter. I have the papers to prove it.”

She giggled. He smiled and pulled her away to look in her eyes.

“You are my daughter,” he repeated. “Mine and your mum’s. Blood doesn’t make a family, darling. Love does. And we’ve got plenty to go around.”

Her face scrunched as she considered the meaning.

“I think I understand,” she replied. “Like how Uncle Ben, Uncle Joe, and Uncle Rami aren’t your brothers, but they’re still my uncles.”

“Exactly!” he said excitedly. “They aren’t my brothers by blood. But I love them enough to be my brothers.”

Her face began to fall again. “But Sybil...she’s gonna look like you.”

“She might,” he agreed. “But things like appearance don’t matter. The things I hope you inherit from me are not my lips or my eyes. I hope you inherit love from me. That comes from the inside. You and Sybil are both my daughters, and I will love you equally for the rest of my life. And beyond.” 

“Promise?”

“I promise,” he assured her. “That day you called me your dad for the first time…” He paused, taking a shaky breath. “You made me happier than I ever thought possible,” he choked out.

Her brow furrowed as she looked at him.

“Daddy, are you crying?” she asked.

He chucked and blinked the tears back. One got out and rolled down his cheek. “Yes, love. Sorry. I just love you so much and I never, ever want you to doubt it.”

It was her turn to wipe his face.

“I believe you,” she said. “I won’t doubt again. I promise.”

He grinned and held her close again.

“Very good, my girl,” he said. 

An understanding formed between them now. Violet felt closer to Gwilym than ever. As she inhaled the smell of his cologne from his shirt, she recognized it from when she was even littler. A vision of a hotel room swam before her, and the memory wasn’t totally clear, but she felt her mother and father there. This father. The one she chose.

When dinner was ready, you went back upstairs to check on Gwilym and Violet. You found them cuddled together on her bed, fast asleep. You watched them for a moment, becoming softer than butter, and as you gazed on their peaceful faces, you saw a similarity. It was impossible, but for a moment, you almost believed Violet had Gwilym’s profile. Or maybe it was his hair? Anyway, she looked like him.

***

The following day, you began researching marriage counselors for you and Gwilym. You ended up switching to family counselors so Violet could come if she wanted to talk any more about what she was going through. She said she was fine for now, even if she was still grounded. You still weren’t sure what being grounded meant for six-year-old, but you were content with her just staying in her room for now.

You booked an appointment with a counselor for the following week. Gwilym offered to go with you, but you said for the first one, you should go on your own. That way you could explore your feelings without worrying about who you might hurt with what you found there. You were nervous, but still felt that it was a good idea. You had never really processed everything with Henry, and you wanted to learn how to cope with it without saying or doing things that  would negatively impact your new marriage.

During your first session, Gwilym decided to take Violet out for ice cream. She had handled her grounding well, and he thought she deserved a treat. Plus, he was eager to spend as much one on one time with her as possible before the baby came. That way, she would be further reassured of his dedication to being in her life. Especially since she may begin to feel neglected when the baby required more attention.

“How was school this week?” he asked when they sat down on a bench together.

Violet put a large spoonful of ice cream in her mouth and mulled it over.

“It was okay, I guess,” she said. “I don’t think I missed too much while I was out. I apologized to Robbie, and he forgave me. Then he said he was sorry for making fun of my accent.”

“I’m glad you made up with him,” he said. “I’m proud of you for saying you’re sorry. That’s not always easy.”

“Really? I feel like Mommy says it to you a lot.”

Gwilym paused, mid-bite into his ice cream. Now that he thought about it, you did have a tendency to over-apologize. He realized it was another habit you’d formed to ease tension. Whether by joking or apologizing, you had to alleviate it.

“With Mum it’s different,” he said. “For most people, saying sorry is difficult. People don’t like to admit when they’re wrong.”

“Well, we learn in school that it’s important,” she said. “If you hurt someone, that’s what you say. And to say it like you mean it.”

“Very good,” he praised. “I’m glad you’re taking your lessons to heart.”

“How are you doing, Daddy?” she asked.

He chuckled and reached over to muss her hair. 

“I’m doing just fine,” he said. “It’s sweet of you to ask.”

She beamed at him.

“Are you sure? You can tell me if you’re worried about Sybil.”

His brow furrowed. “Why should I worry about her?”

“Maybe not her, but you!” she returned. “You’re gonna have a whole other kid! Are you scared?”

Gwilym laughed. “Ah, I see. Well, I’m a little scared. But I’m mostly excited. Besides, I have your mum with me. I’m not as scared when we work together.”

She swallowed another spoonful of ice cream and looked thoughtfully out across the street.

“Mommy was alone when she had me, right?” she asked.

“She was, unfortunately,” he said. 

“Do you think she was scared?” she wondered.

“Probably,” he answered. “But not for too long.”

She perked up. 

“Then she got you!”

“She sure did!” he agreed. “Now, we’re a team.”

“The best team,” she affirmed. “Am I on the team too?”

He kissed her head with a smile.

“Of course you are, darling,” he said. “There’s lots you’ll need to teach your sister.”

A beat passed and they both took a few bites.

“Daddy, where do babies come from?” she asked suddenly.

Gwilym choked on the bite he was taking. He took a few moments to cough, and Violet - fretting slightly - patted him gently on the back. Her little hand didn’t really do much for him, but he thanked her anyway. He cleared his throat.

“Sorry, love, you caught me off guard there,” he said. 

“Do they come from somewhere weird?” she pressed, cocking her head to the side as she looked up at him.

“Sort of,” he answered. “You’ll learn more about it when you’re older.”

She pursed her lips and then relaxed them. She shrugged.

“Okie doke,” she said simply.

Gwilym inwardly thanked the heavens above that she let it go. That was not conversation he wanted to have with Violet without you around.

They stayed out another hour or so before heading home. Gwilym was relieved to see you were back, and eager to hear how it went. Violet went tearing into the house, and Gwilym came behind her, closing the door softly.

“Mommy, we’re home!” she cried, throwing her arms around you as much as she could. Really, she hugged your baby bump.

“Hi, sweetie!” you returned. “Did you have fun with Daddy today?”

“We got ice cream!” she told you.

“Well, I hope you still have room for dinner,” you said, eyeing Gwilym as he approached.

“Of course, we got small cups,” he assured you. “Now, give me a kiss.”

You giggled and gave him a swift peck on the lips.

“Mommy, can I watch She-Ra while you make dinner?” she requested.

“Sure thing,” you said. “Go ahead, baby.”

She clapped her hands and started toward the living room, but she came to a sudden halt. Turning on her heel, she hurled herself at Gwilym and wrapped her arms around his legs.

“Thanks for the ice cream, Daddy!” she said. 

She smiled widely at him.

“You’re very welcome, lovie,” he replied.

With that, she disappeared into the living room and switched on the television.

“So,” Gwilym said, looking at you. “How’d it go today?”

“Really well,” you told him. “I sort of got through my history with Henry and she mostly listened. I told her about us too. Even the letters, but she said it was romantic.” You laughed a little. “I felt a lot of relief afterward. Would you come with me next week? I think it could be really good for us to go together.”

“Of course,” he said, pulling you into a hug. “Anything for you, love.”

[imaginaryfriendcomic]

a long, meta PSA

Hello, my good readers! Firstly, I’m very glad to see we’re almost reaching 1k followers, and I’m still very determined to finish the next page - I’m nearly done with the whole layout!

Though what I want to talk about today is something I’ve been thinking for a while. As many of you may know, Imaginary Friend was technically going to be a comic adaptation of the original fanfiction I posted a long time ago. Now, I’m not saying I’m going to change the entire plot, yet there’s something in there that’s actually been bothering me, now that I think of it: and that’s about Gaster being a dad before the Void. Please read the whole post before commenting or sending asks!

*SPOILERS FOR THE ORIGINAL STORY

TRIGGER WARNINGS - MENTIONS OF ABUSE AND NEGLECT

Even from the first 23 pages, you know that Gaster is drowning in his sorrows and regrets. He keeps saying how he failed at being the Royal Scientist, for not being able to free everyone, and at being a father to Sans and Papyrus. If anyone has gotten to the fanfiction already, it’s claimed that Gaster used to overwork himself and did not spend a lot of time with his sons, and that “he pushed them away.” I’ll be including some chapter pieces here to prove my points:

LIKE I SAID, I WAS THE ROYAL SCIENTIST. I MARRIED A BEAUTIFUL WOMAN AND HAD TWO CHILDREN. MY WIFE, UNFORTUNATELY, PASSED AWAY... THE ONLY GOOD THINGS I HAD IN MY LIFE THEN WERE SANS AND PAPYRUS. I HAVE DONE EVERYTHING TO GIVE THEM A GOOD LIFE, WHICH MADE ME WORK EVEN HARDER AFTER MY WIFE WAS GONE. BUT THEN  I STARTED BEING SO FOCUSED ON WORK THAT I DIDN'T REALLY GIVE THEM MUCH ATTENTION. I BARELY SPENT TIME WITH THEM. WHEN I WAS IN A BAD MOOD, I USUALLY TOLD THEM TO LEAVE ME ALONE... I WASN'T A GOOD FATHER.

(chapter 2)

He let his wife die; nothing he had done to cure her from her disease worked. He neglected Sans and Papyrus, barely spent time with them and... treated them like they were just a burden in his life, when they really weren't. He had failed at freeing monsters, he had broken everyone's trust. He had disappointed everyone. He had had one job, and he failed.

(chapter 7)

It’s even implied that Sans looked after Papyrus on his own, too, which is further confirmed in the sequel I made, You’re Home Now (which contains Grillby x Gaster, just warning you guys).

He was very proud of them, despite Sans being lazy... His elder child did a great job taking care of Papyrus when he was younger (...).

(chapter 1)

The little Sans was home (in their very, very old house, the one located in New Home), watching television with young Papyrus. It was already late, the babysitter hadn't been able to come over, leaving Sans the responsibility of taking care of himself and his little brother, which wasn't that bad. Despite being a kid, Sans was actually responsible enough for his father to trust him at this task, though Papyrus could give some hard work sometimes.

(You’re Home Now, chapter 2)

Maybe this hasn’t crossed in anyone’s minds - if they’ve already read the fic - and well, I’m unsure if I’m overthinking this since I didn’t get that much depth to the original story, but this is my work, after all. I wrote this more than 3 years ago, so I’m looking back at it with a more critical perspective. Thus, this aspect about Gaster’s parenting has been bothering me recently.

I’m aware that many children have gone through this; being forced to look after themselves, their siblings or even their own parents (the latter isn’t quite the case here but anyway), as the adults fail to do what they’re supposed to - of taking care of their family and providing them love, attention and everything else. The lack of any of these things has been normalized in many households, and most of the time kids don’t realize how harmful it might be to them, because their own feelings aren’t validated. Since they’re forced to take in the role of the responsible parent, the adult, they excuse and justify their parents’ misdeeds.

Surely, in the original Imaginary Friend, Gaster acknowledges he wasn’t the best dad, yet now that I come to read it again, it never feels like he’s truly called out for that. Alright, he’s already being punished by the loneliness and helplessness for decades inside the Void, and he does show genuine remorse for his actions. Regardless, I feel like I’ve made excuses for his failures at being a parent. I feel like I used the “but he didn’t mean to!” excuse that so many people adopt when we’re talking about abusive and neglectful parents. I used Frisk, a character who I headcanon to have been abused by their biological parents, to justify that Gaster wasn’t all that bad:

"Don't say that! I think they would be glad to see you again." Frisk assured him. "I mean, you deeply cared about them and did everything to offer them proper conditions and-"

YES, BUT... I HAVE NOT GIVEN THEM ENOUGH LOVE AND AFFECTION. He sighed sadly.

Frisk sighed too. They had a feeling that Sans and Papyrus didn't hate him. They just knew it, but Gaster didn't believe.

"But... they never gave up on you, right?" They asked.

(...)

"I would've really liked to have a father who would do everything to give me a good life."

Gaster, curious, looked at the child. WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

"Toriel is my mom now, and she's the best, but... I've never had a father that cared about me." Frisk admitted. "You know... before I fell into the Underground. My real parents weren't... great. They were very mean to me, specially my father."

(...)

I AM SORRY ABOUT YOUR PARENTS.

"It's okay. At least I found great friends and a fantastic mom." Frisk said, smiling, despite remembering their mean parents. "You are a way better father than my real one. You shouldn't say you're the worst."

Gaster didn't answer.

"You may have not spent much time with them, but I don't think Sans and Papyrus wouldn't be happy to see you." Frisk said.

BUT I MADE THEM FEEL LIKE THEY WERE ANNOYING ME... I SHOULD HAVE NEVER DONE THAT.

"I understand, but, just so you know... I think you already made it clear to them that you cared about them, which is why they were always there for you even if you distanced yourself."

(chapter 2)

Sans and Papyrus don’t hold grudges against their father, either, and yet, now that I realize it, the former presents the same “pushing away” behavior Gaster presumably adopted. In the very least, Sans is called out for it, but I never explicitly connected that to how his father treated them:

"SANS, DID YOU SLEEP WELL?" Papyrus asked.

"i'm okay, pap."

"BUT YOU LOOK AWFUL-"

"papyrus, i'm okay!" Sans interrupted, sounding annoyed.

Papyrus shrunk out of fear. He had never seen Sans in that state before. He knew something was up with him, but for some reason, he was afraid of asking Sans what was wrong. His brother sounded so grumpy, he felt like he would piss him off if he asked that at the time.

(chapter 6)

"DON'T YOU JUST LEAVE THE HOUSE LIKE THAT!" Papyrus said, somehow pissed, but concerned at the same time.

"l-leave me alone." Sans managed to escape, but Papyrus wouldn't let him go.

"I JUST WANT TO TALK TO YOU! PLEASE-"

Sans teleported himself, escaping Papyrus's grip. He groaned loudly.

"SANS, OH MY GOD! STOP RUNNING AWAY FROM ME!" Papyrus yelled.

Turned out that Sans didn't teleport far away. He arrived in the same street, a few meters ahead.

"WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME?!" Papyrus yelled.

"i don't want to talk, papyrus."

"BUT THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN JUST... TREAT ME LIKE GARBAGE!"

(chapter 9)

That’s NOT to say Gaster is evil. You could say that Gaster believes he was terrible because of his trauma from the Void. The dark dimension causes him to hallucinate things, alter his physical form and twist reality, and so that may be why Sans and Papyrus don’t hold anything against him. But the point is, I don’t feel like I’ve made that clear. And with Sans technically mirroring his past role model, I feel like the narrative swept Gaster’s bad parenting under the carpet.

This topic is very difficult to discuss, I’m very aware of that. I get that some abusers can make it different, they can change. However, that’s not what usually happens. What does happen is society underestimating and devaluating the effects of abuse on people, especially children and teenagers. Nobody tends to focus on the victims, and thus finds ways to justify the abuse. Like that, I feel like I contributed to that, too. That’s why I’m writing this post.

PLEASE NOTE: I’m very proud of having written Imaginary Friend, and I want to continue with the comic. However, I want to truly emphasize that there will be changes in the comic adaptation, and with this theme in mind, I’ll make sure I don’t unintentionally excuse bad parenting again. At the time I wrote the fic, I had no idea it might come off that way (which doesn’t mean I’m condemning myself for not noticing). I think a lot of other people haven’t had the same impression, either; yet now that I do, I want to change what this fic might have defended.

I’m very sorry for everyone who went through this situation in their childhoods, or might still be. It’s not your fault. Your parent(s)/guardian(s) should have been better, and that’ll never be on you. Maybe they “didn’t mean to”, but that doesn’t mean it’s not harmful. I wish you all the happiness and safety in the world. <3

Stay determined!

[skinnylittleredwrites]

My best friend, my lover.

TITLE OF STORY: My best friend, my lover. CHAPTER NUMBER/TITLE/ONE SHOT: 2/? AUTHOR: skinnylittlered. WHICH TOM/CHARACTER: Actor!Tom. GENRE: Romance. FIC SUMMARY: Andrea and Tom have been friends since the beginning of time. Until a confession of love is made. This story follows the events of their subsequent relationship (sequel to You Wanna Play that Game? ) RATING: Explicit (language, references to sexual activity). WARNINGS/TRIGGERS/AUTHORS NOTES: - FEEDBACK/COMMENTS: -

Chapter 2.

I don’t see how I could ever tire of this.

Surely, this feeling might be greatly influenced by the fact that, due to his absolutely hellish schedule his job all but demands, and the very static nature of my own job – I am, more often than not, essentially tied to my desk and the seemingly never ending piles of papers that consume most of my time at work and sometimes my free time as well, so more time than I’d ever care to admit to myself or any who may inquire – we have probably spent somewhere in the vicinity of maybe a fortnight in each other’s presence in the last three months and, while I would have been completely content with the situation should things have transpired in that way, there’s more to a relationship, I’m being told, than fucking each other’s brains for the whole of the time we’re together. Thusly, precious time which could have been dedicated to mindless penetration was regrettably wasted on romantic niceties and such other nonsense which I could have really done without, regardless of how cute they may be.  

This is precisely why, as I find myself kneeling against the headrest of his bed – well, technically, our bed now – and being pounded into with the fervour that I thought was only reserved for pubescent boys furiously masturbating against any surface even remotely resembling the softness that is specific to the female kind, I am relishing maybe more so than I generally would during copulation. Not to cause any misunderstanding, Tom has proved himself to be quite the competent lover, effectively obliterating the sparse doubts I may have amassed in regards to that topic. Doubts, I should add, that were compiled during the not infrequent locker talk that I either overheard or was a present participant to over the years of our friendship. Honestly, men have such a way of perorating about their sexual conquests that it renders a female of the even coarser sensibilities (or maybe especially her) to regard their grandiose claims as at least dubious if not entirely unbelievable. But, fortunately for all the parties involved, that is both myself and him, those claims are, irrefutably if not quite as monumentally, backed up by facts - he is a man of a certain degree of mastery, not to be overlooked, when it comes to gratifying the beautiful sex.

And here I am, being thoroughly gratified – thoroughly being the operative word – as I am taken from behind, with great enthusiasm. He’s got me by a fistful of hair and a fistful of hip, grunting as he thrusts into me, and it is music to my ears, accompanied by the sounds of his pelvis slamming into my ass – a symphony of absolute debauchery if I’ve ever heard one. I, naturally, being the refined erotic artist that I fancy myself to be, am holding my own to this most exquisite harmony of sounds, positive that my moans and screams of pleasure can be heard from across the street, but I indulge in expressing my satisfaction shamelessly, completely neglecting any sense of the basest form of propriety or moral value instilled in me since infanthood. I revel in the delights of the flesh to the uttermost extent, I am unabashed and completely incorrigible and I am -

Oh, god, I’m -

I cry out my climax, bending backwards toward him in a way that I am certain might be highly uncomfortable if not impossible were it not for the adrenaline shooting through me. He reaches to my ear and whispers rough words that would otherwise be insulting, that he would not be caught dead addressing a woman in a different scenario, but right now only intensify my pleasure, coaxing it out of me. I whimper and I come, as I am commanded, and it doesn’t register in my brain that I am no longer at my apex even minutes later, when he stiffens to his own release.

Panting and sweating, we both let ourselves fall on the crumpled sheets of our lovemaking. Tom is, soon enough, fast asleep, but I am, although physically spent, nowhere near enough to drowsy. I am somehow full of energy but unable to manifest it, and, to save myself from the eventual frustration that will overcome me in this paradoxal state and because of it, I raise from the bed and head for the shower, pondering almost disinterestedly at the domestic tasks that I have to accomplish for the day and other such things.

It’s been three months. Three very convoluted, intense, consuming months. So much so, that, except for the occasional talks we have confronting the subject during our very infrequent times together, we did not really have the time others may have to slide into conjugality, it’s still quite foreign territory, although broadly discussed. Between travelling to every and all corners of the world, filming and catering to his fanbase and, winning awards, we tried to fit in our newly developed liaison. We went on dates and held hands and our interactions slowly metamorphosised, without losing the friendly quality of the ones prior to our respective confessions, into something entirely new, but still very familiar. Our romance, we learned, is in the small things. Not much of our demeanour towards the other has changed, but the subtleties which make all the difference in the world are ever present, and those lay in our knowledge. He doesn’t look at me any differently, nor does he speak to me differently, nor does he hug me longer nor tighter, but his love, professed and recognised, gives other meaning to what was before. There are, of course, the intimacies that are entirely strange to the realm of platonic, but those are hardly ever on display – I am the part of him that the world shall merely know of, but never know – and to the couple of us, they seem but a natural extension to something that was present all along. But that does not domesticity make. This we shall learn as we go, one morning waking up together at a time.  

Or one homemade meal at a time? I speak the question rhetorically, as there is no one in the room to answer, and giggle at myself a bit as I’m chopping various vegetables for supper.  

Cooking was not an activity that I have ever particularly enjoyed or was any good at. Obviously, nobody is particularly proficient at anything from the onset, lest for an inherent propensity that might as well be divinely gifted, as the general consensus seems to be with the average folk, but I appeared to be, from early times, especially unskilled at any culinary endeavours. My attitude towards the matter was the insurmountable obstacle toward my progression in the field – I would never, for the life of me, be caught in the kitchen, either by myself or others, when the convenience of the ready-to-eat, brought-to-your-own-door meal was an available commodity, even in college, when money was less than it is now. With an upper middle class family to support me and a part time job as a barista, money was hardly the issue – it would be highly hypocritical of me to not acknowledge the very fact that beauty pays for itself; I am an example of the basic caucasian standard of classic beauty: honey blonde hair, blue eyes and a slim oval face, the body that I religiously keep fit to serve my vanity more than my health or any other purpose, and a sweet disposition that I nearly cunningly employ to my advantage, I would never dare say that life wasn’t made easier by those cumulus of facts.  

But cooking, or any other traditionally womanly activities, I discovered as I was growing up, became more tolerant, even pleasant when their result has a recipient. I may not enjoy preparing my own food, I am still as guilty of succumbing to pre-prepared commodities as I was in my youth when mine is the only mouth that needs feeding, but I certainly do enjoy putting a meal together for my partners, and Tom is no exception. If anything, he’s the instance reinforcing the rule. In the little time we’ve had together, I’ve made it my mission to bring him a home he can take refuge in anywhere we may be.

“What’s cookin’, good lookin’?”

Ah, speak of the devil, there he is, all six feet and two inches of freshly roused glory, donning just boxers and a tee, and a self-satisfied smirk on his face, for somewhat reason.

“I did not buy it then; I don’t buy it now.”

“First of all, you said you did-”

“I lied.”

“And second, mean.”

“Am I?”

“You hurt my achey breakey heart.”

“I think your heart is just fine, thank you very much.”

“Yeah, you’re right,” he chuckles against my neck as he hugs me from behind, sending a shiver down my spine. “My heart is mighty fine, although I do wonder about my stomach. It is very sanitary to be cooking in your underwear?”

"I am wearing a t-shirt!”

“...and no pants.”

“Well, I was going for sexy, not sanitary.”

“You’re always sexy.”

I huff.

“There’s no point to flattery, Hiddleston, with me, you can already get anything you want.”

“I’m not flattering. I do think you’re sexy. Always have.”

“Always?”

“Yeah. I never really wanted to admit it to myself, because that would have been... problematic, but I did. You’re a very beautiful woman.”

Although I am very much aware of that, his declaration still puts a knot in my throat and, like the sap that I am, my eyes become moist with overdramatic tears. I turn and rest my forehead on his chest, holding his body closer to mine. “I know.”

He laughs at my muffled reply, but is quick to chastise my illogical crying.

“Oh, dear, none of that. I can make a list of all of the things that are absolutely awful about you, then you can hate me and stop the waterworks.”

Sentiment promptly forgotten, I take a step back and glare at him.

“There’s nothing awful about me, I’m perfect!”

“Like hell you are,” his laugh is mirthful and unforgiving.  

“Fine. Tell me three things which are awful about me.”

His reply is matter-of-fact and not at all hesitant.

“You’re self-centred, vain, and not only slightly superficial. And, while we’re at it, your cooking’s not fantastic, either. I think you take after your mother.”

“That last one was mean and uncalled-for! But, fuck, I sound terrible. Am I so terrible?”  

The fact that I pulled out the puppy eyes on him on that last bit surely only emphasises some of my shortages in good character, because I’m doing it just to torment him. I know he doesn’t and I know he’ll feel especially bad for being so blunt in his criticism, and he’ll pull his very own variation of the puppy-eyes on me to be granted forgiveness later, which I will of course provide after making him repent.  

Orally.

“Why are you smirking all of a sudden?”

“Huh?”

“What’s with the face?”

“Ah, nothing. Up for takeout pizza?”

“Fuck, yeah.”

Yeah, we’re going to be just fine, Tom Hiddleston and I. Maybe not one homemade meal at a time, though.

________________________________________________________________

Author’s notes: It’s been about four years since I last wrote pretty much anything in any way literary (maybe some poetry here and there), and I decided that I miss it (and was pestered by some folks very dear to me to get my ass in gear and just do it again) so, yeah. Decided that, since I was so comfortable with the medium of fanfic, this would be a good place to give my writing bones a good crackin’, and so far things have been surprisingly nice. I honestly thought the fandom was dead, but it seems that you guys are still alive and very much kicking. 

Aaaaanywaaayyy.

I wanted to send out a huge, huge thanks to those of you who stuck for so long. It makes a girl shed a tiny but highly valuable tear. Also huge thanks for those of you who have stumbled upon my work while I was gone, those who sent messages and likes and kudos and reblogs and all that fun stuff. I came back to quite a number of those and, well, let’s just add another tiny tear to that previous one. Also thanks to those of you who are new to the my tiny blog of stories, another tiny tear and I will be full on tiny crying.

Thank you! 

[abitterlifethroughcinema]

      Three Summer Taquilla Behemoths in Cinemas!       WOKE! Film Reviews...Halfway Through Summer                                        by Lucas A Cavazos

It goes without saying that Disney is undoubtedly the strongest hand in all of cinema. They have proved that beyond any shadow of a doubt over many decades but definitely most recently, what with the takeover of Pixar and LucasFilms and Marvel Studios and and and… As I hinted at last time, growing up, whether in Texas or Brooklyn, my dorky bum always had that weekly subscription of Entertainment Weekly waiting for me come week’s end. And that meant I had all the box office data, top album sales, Nielsen TV ratings, book sales and such all there to satiate my stats-obsessed appetite. Now, I bring to you a summer run-down of what fare has been most successful throughout this first half of the summer. Believe it or not, we are only halfway through the summer cinema season and these last six or seven weeks mark the last summer fare that either got delayed from the early summer due to concern of being pulverised by these upcoming blockbusters, or they are merely getting rid of fodder too long on the shelf or in need of distribution.

I’d dare say in fact that it was a rather smart move on behalf of Guy Ritchie and the entire marketing team behind the live-action remake of Aladdin, to release it just before the summer season truly hit. It is now fast closing in on 25€M in Spain alone, and has surpassed 1.1€B globally…quite an accomplished feat and second in box office stealth only behind Endgame for 2019 so far.

But let’s please talk newer reviews first as Disney’s The Lion King ###-1/2 burst into Spanish cinemas with a loud roar two weeks ago, and the same can be said of its success worldwide. Now soon to pass 19€M in Spain in a matter of mere days and more than 1.0€B globally, we at Bitter Life are pleased to say that the film, much like the formerly mentioned live-action remake, is a thing of wonder. What director Jon Favreau, who so lovingly concocted the impeccable remake of The Jungle Book a few years ago, does so well is adapt a timeless, and much beloved, cartoon classic into a breathtaking adventure story of the animal kingdom. One thing is for certain, if you are a true lover of the cartoon, this film will merely be palatable. For those few of us who were none too keen on the cartoon and its cheese-tactic musical numbers nor its cornball last-attempts at Top 40 numbers by Elton John, this film is quite the spectacle to behold. Telling the story of a proud lineage of lions who preside over what could best be described more as a savannah than a jungle, this rendering gives us a lifelike portrayal of fathers and sons, duty and honour, and is easily a testament to whatever family means to any individual. Apart from the brilliant, yet almost frightening, way in which the creators have anthropomorphised the creatures into almost too-real perfection, there isn’t too much to tell that the viewer is not going to know already, and thereby lies a part of the challenge that I find intriguing. While Disney continues to take risks in revamping their classics into live-action newer ones, do they then run the risk of petering out of new ideas? I mean, now that they have Pixar and so many more studios to pick up the slack, will we slowly see the demise of the annual big, Disney cartoon classic? We already have Frozen 2 appearing soon enough in cinemas, but even that is not building anything new and original into the cartoon oeuvre…it’s a damn sequel. I say it’s fair enough that most all investments in Disney live-action prequels are bound to be successful in terms of box office. Still, few of them will boast the talent power of Beyonce and Donald Glover, along with original Mufasa James Earl Jones, plus John Oliver, Seth Rogen, Keegan-Michael Key, Alfre Woodard. Amy Sedaris and so many more. These artists breathe life into a fun, if tired, film that we’ve all seen before, just never in this way. Here’s to hoping the tots of today don’t scare too much from the frolicking if fierce, fun found in this film.

The next big movie that has blown up the taquillas here in Spain is also the best one of the lot…Toy Story 4 ####.  If we have to wait nearly a decade between film sequels to have this type of wonderment thrown lovingly at our eyes, I’ll gladly take it and wait. So far, the film has taken in a nearly whopping 19€M in Spain alone, and it is also nearing 950€M worldwide, so far be it from me to deny that absolute scores of millions agree that this film marks itself in our hearts yet again. It is rather surreal that over the span of well over a generation, the creators have moved through the mid-90s to damn near 2020 with the same revolving door of a family, while carefully detailing the intricacies of our own nostalgia…and playing on that also forces us to love it.  Again, I dare say that they have achieved that tremendously throughout the entirety of the series’ lifespan. The premise this time revolves around Andy, now all grown up and, I’d suppose well past grad school, has donated his toys to little sister Bonnie, who has her own taste on what she prefers to play with versus her older brother, and dear ol’ cowpoke Woody, sensing certain neglect under the ownership of Bonnie, sneaks himself into her rucksack one day y voila!…the new adventure commences. The others set off to search for Woody, outdone by no one less than Buzz Lightyear, who is allowing himself to be led by his inner voice, which fits wonderfully into the guffaws of this type of silly and campy humour. What I began to notice while the screening went on is that the film continues to come up with a specific theme that ties itself into the plot, the denouement and frankly, throughout the film. Simply put, that would be the fear of rejection or not being wanted/accepted. Herein is where story developers like John Lasseter, Andrew Stanton, Rashida Jones, Stephany Folsom, amongst others, and all under the directing tutelage of Josh Cooley, spring to life and steer the film into witty and on-fleek, au courant elements that should make excellent fodder for post-parental conversations! What more can be said? Steal away and grab a 10’er and retreat to the coolness of your local cineplex!

Lastly, the other big box office behemoth so far this summer in Spain’s movie houses is Spider Man: Far From Home ###-1/2, with just under 12€M reaped into the Spanish taquilla coffers. This time around finds us back in live-action mode and with our recurring Marvel characters picking up after the what can only be described as intense ending of Avengers:Endgame. Okay then, while I was not a fan of the new Peter Parker with Homecoming from a couple of years back, I can now see how Tom Holland has taken a stab at ye olde generic if endearing dork-that-could appeal, and he feels much more fluid now a few Marvel flicks in. Director Jon Watts and go-to writers McKenna and Sommers seem to strike a chord with their flow, though we really do have to wait until the last half of the film to see the ebb actually catch up with that flow. Here’s why…our Marvel superheroes have gone bye bye, you dig? Flashbacks of the fallen Marvel superheroes actually made me a tad sad to be honest, so when the injection of the last part kicks in with all its CGI glory, what I take the director and writers to be doing, this time around, is actually showing us how Parker is growing into his own belief within himself and his powers. Zendaya as his love interest, and I’ve monitored her from afar for quite some time, is fun as hell to watch, and she should seriously star in a film version of Sade’s life story, but it really does come down to the charm and vivid need for suspension of disbelief that envelops the characters towards the end of the film. This has a lot to do with the enter-stage-right presence of Quentin Beck, a.k.a. Mysterio, played with an enigmatic if smug awareness by Jake Gyllenhaal, and frankly, all of the myriad cast of characters do their thang to breathe a sense of renewal just when you think the film is getting a tad too slow and eager. From Sam Jackson to Marisa Tomei, though perhaps not Jon Favreau as Stark caretaker Happy Hogan…he’s best suited as a director of Disney re-boots these days, me thinks (see The Lion King review above). Apart from all that, I’d say the Marvel universe has quite rightly fixed another pathway into the continuance of the Spiderverse journey.

[just0nemorepage]

Glass || Ellen Hopkins || Crank #2 || 720 pages ------------------------------------------------- Top 3 Genres: Young Adult / Poetry / Contemporary

Synopsis: Crank. Glass. Ice. Crystal. Whatever you call it, it's all the same: a monster. And once it's got hold of you, this monster will never let you go.

Kristina thinks she can control it. Now with a baby to care for, she's determined to be the one deciding when and how much, the one calling the shots. But the monster is too strong, and before she knows it, Kristina is back in its grips. She needs the monster to keep going, to face the pressures of day-to-day life. She needs it to feel alive.

Once again the monster takes over Kristina's life and she will do anything for it, including giving up the one person who gives her the unconditional love she craves -- her baby.

The sequel to Crank, this is the continuing story of Kristina and her descent back to hell. Told in verse, it's a harrowing and disturbing look at addiction and the damage that it inflicts.

Finished: August 30th, 2019.

Progress: 5 / 15. 33.33% complete.

My Rating: ★★★★☆. [4/5]

My Review: [Under the read more - NOT SPOILER FREE]

I seem to be on a book-reading streak here – three books in a week or two! But, honestly I'm cheating a bit – they're easy books. Graphic novels, poetry format, and whatnot.

But even though this was a fast read, it hooked me in regardless. I honestly had a hard time putting it down. And while there was still plenty that made Kristina unlikable BEYOND the drug addiction (homophobia, primarily), it wasn't anywhere near as bad as it was in the first book. But, it was still bad enough to knock my final rating down a star.

The segment where Kristina lives with Brad was actually a pleasant peek into the life of a "responsible" drug user – the kind who still maintains an adult life while using. He lived in a nice house, kept up his job, and successfully managed to raise two daughters as a single dad while using narcotics. I didn't expect to see that kind of thing in a book like this at all, and it was a nice surprise. Not all drug use – even hard drug use – is doom and gloom, and the majority of Brad's character proves that.

Kristina, though. Hoo buddy. My how the mighty have fallen. To be honest, with her being on the run from the MEXICAN MAFIA, I expected far worse than getting busted and going to jail. And for only 6 months?? She's gotten off way easy.

Maybe those 6 months of suddenly being stone cold sober will be enough to finally wean her off addiction, though. Maybe this new baby she's fucking pregnant with WON'T be a developmental nightmare because its mother can't be bothered to use protection.

Kristina's a very hard character to be any kind of sympathetic with. I get that that's deliberate, and meant to be a very real peek into the very real life of an addict. But when it gets to the point where she starts abusing children – either physically or through neglect – my "benefit of the doubt" goes right out the window.

And her mom's right – Trey IS a total loser. And honestly, kind of a shitty person. It seems like he TRIED to respect her and treat her well… but just. TOTAL LOSER.

Also, bra-VO to Kristina's mom. Kicking her out, standing her ground about Hunter, and even turning her in for stealing??? YOU GO. I'd've done the exact same thing as a parent.

I get that Kristina is already facing consequences, what with more or less being disowned by her family and being in jail, but I want to see her face some HEALTH consequences too. She does describe her face being pocked with sores and her hair already going limp and gray, but I mean besides that. I want her to see very real side effects that are happening to her own body.

Who am I kidding, though. She probably wouldn't learn anything from it.

Obviously I don't like her very much lmao. But I do appreciate learning more what this kind of life is like, and how you can fall down such a rabbit hole so quickly. How your life can fall ENTIRELY apart, just because of one addictive substance. If Kristina isn't a shining example of that, Robyn certainly is.

MC dislike or no, I'll keep reading into the series, for sure!

[varanest]

it seems it’s written, but we can’t read between the lines (james rodríguez)

a/n: so, i don’t know what this is? but please let me know what you think, and if any of you is interested in a smutty sequel or something. the title’s taken from placebo - soulmates never die.

they’re not together anymore, but the twins’ birthday is coming up.

From the very first moment Emma lays her on eyes on James, she’s in love.

She’s in love with everything from his looks to his view on life, his talent, his dancing skills, his passion, and the way he stutters when he’s nervous.

And they fit, they fit so well – they fall together with such easy that it’s kind of ridiculous. It’s uncomplicated in the best kind of way, no misunderstandings or mixed signals.

It’s simply clear what they both want from the start.

They date for a couple months before moving in together, and James keeps proving to be so wonderful and so supportive of her, her career, her dreams, everything that she’s involved with.

At twenty-two, James starts sneaking the word babies into conversations more and more often, telling Emma about his teammates’ kids at training, about his cousins’ kids calling him tio, and it doesn’t take much to get Emma on-board with the idea of having a family.

A year later, they welcome the baby twins.

They’re a happy family and it’s easy, until it’s not.

James starts struggling with his position in the team, being benched week after week, the frustration building up until he isn’t able to sleep, and suddenly he spends most of his time training – I need to improve, Emma. There’s something I must be doing wrong – and Emma understands, or tries to, anyway.

She lets it slip until she doesn’t, and she waits for James to come home that night after tucking the twins to bed.

He has bags under his eyes, he’s lost weight and he looks tired and dejected but Emma doesn’t care, she needs to fix this now – this isn’t working anymore, James.

It comes out wrong, and James simply nods like he agrees. He mutters an apology and leaves her alone in the living room, and there’s something in Emma’s chest that she’s not able to describe, but she’s pretty sure her heart just got broken for the first time, ever.

The very next day, James moves out.

They work out an agreement with their solicitors, the boys would stay living with her and James could have them whenever he had time off.

They don’t even talk anymore, not if it isn’t Daniel or David related, anyway.

                                                     ₪₪₪

She doesn’t see James much anymore.

She’ll never admit that she expects to see him every time her doorbell rings, but his mom or sister always pick up the twins whenever it’s his time to have them, and Emma likes to think it’s because he’s too busy to do it himself – it’s a lot easy than thinking he’s avoiding her, anyway.

She wonders when exactly they had stopped working together.

                                                      ₪₪₪

She’s half sleep when her phone vibrates next to her, James’ name popping up in the screen.

the boys birthday is coming up

She frowns, because of course she knows that already, she’s even started planning the football related party and everything. She starts to type, but her phone dings again.

they want to go to Colombia with me

It wouldn’t be the first time they do; it is, however, the first time they’d go without her.

She doesn’t have the time to sulk, because just a few seconds after, her screen lights up again.

they want you to come too

                                                      ₪₪₪

It’s the best birthday the boys have had yet, there’s just something about Latino parties that makes everything much more exciting. There’s loud music, balloons everywhere and the squeaks of children running around excitedly, colorful hats, kitty cats and spiderman painted cheeks.

James’ entire family is there and Emma loves how comfortable the twins are with them, even David – who’s the shy one – is dancing around, agreeing to take pictures with whoever comes up to him.

Seeing the twins happy and enjoying themselves is the peak of happiness for Emma, and seeing James happy, genuine smile in his lips and relaxed is just a bonus.

The party lasts a lot longer than expected, and by the end of the night the twins are tired and sleepy and Emma tucks them to bed dropping a kiss in their foreheads before James comes up to them to do the same.

Emma feels the tiredness creeping in; hosting a birthday party is hard, especially when your kids are picky about everything.

She goes to the kitchen, craving tea, with James following her wordlessly.

There’s a whole cabinet filled with boxes of tea bags from the last time they were there, she had caught a stomach bug and naturally James had gone overboard buying every kind of tea out to make her feel better – I couldn’t remember the one you asked for, so I brought them all.

Sometimes Emma longs for those simpler times.

She sets up the kettle, and she feels James staring intently at her.

She slowly turns around to find James leaning against the kitchen counter, his arms are crossed, a fond smile in his lips.

The fond smile he used to give her before saying i love you.

“Err, you want some?” she offers lamely.

James just shakes his head, the same smile still on his lips.

“You still wear it,” he says softly.

Emma frowns, because she has no idea what he’s talking about but then it downs on her: the ring.

It’s a promise ring James had given her soon after they’d moved in together, it’s a simple silver thin band with a J engraved in the inside of it, it even feels tighter now but still, she never takes it off; it’s almost like a part of her.

“I’m used to it,” she replies almost defensively.

James continues to stare at her, and she starts to feel self-conscious.

“I can take it off if you want.”

“No! I mean, I thought you’d take it off…” he trails off, and Emma knows he wants to say something else.

“Why?” she inquires.

“I don’t know, like, if somebody came up to you and, you know,” he scratches the back of his head, and there’s a faint blush in his cheeks.

Emma just stares at him.

“People would think you’re married, or something,” he rushes.

“People as in men?” she asks, biting the inside of her cheek to prevent herself from laughing.

“Whatever,” he rolls his eyes.

“It’s not like men come up to me all the time, you know?” she reassures.

James huffs.

She turns around when the kettle starts whistling, she starts to pour the hot water into a white mejor mamá del mundo mug Daniel had made for her.

“I’m sorry.”

Emma freezes.

“I didn’t want to leave, Emma, but I knew I was being a burden. I felt like I was making you feel neglected, and there’s not a day that I don’t hate myself for not trying harder, but somehow I thought you’d be better off without me,” he takes a shaky breath.

It makes Emma angry.

“Does it look like I’m better?” she asks sarcastically, trying really hard not to let her emotions take over her.

“I didn’t want to hurt you anymore,” he whispers.

She laughs humorlessly.

“So you leaving me wasn’t hurtful at all? You didn’t even talk to me, James! There was a time when we talked about everything, any remote thing that was bothering you, you’d tell me. What changed?” she challenges.

James doesn’t answer.

“Did you think it was logical to leave as soon as things weren’t going the way you wanted? Not caring how Daniel and David would take it, not caring how I would take it?” she’s walking up to him with every word she says, until she’s face to face with him.

“You were a coward,” she bites.

James stares at her, eyes glassy and lips trembling.

“I know, I know and I’m sorry! I miss you, Em, I miss you so much and I know I was being a coward but there’s nothing that I want more than to have you by my side again,” he reaches to touch her cheek, and Emma closes her eyes because it’s been too long.

“I know there are a lot of things I need to work on, but I don’t care as long as I have you. Mi amor es para siempre, remember?” James eyes’ are lined with tears, and Emma smiles despite herself because that’s what he had said when he put the ring on her.

James pulls her by her hand, putting his arms around her waist and dropping kisses in her shoulder, her neck, going up and up until he’s kissing the corner of her mouth, making Emma close her eyes.

“Can I?” He whispers against her lips, and Emma kisses him hard, kisses him like she wants to say everything in it, kisses him like saying don’t ever leave me again.

It’s not fireworks going off or champagne popping, it’s just quiet and soft, and so, so right. It’s home, it’s belonging, and it’s possibly the very best thing Emma’s ever felt.

Just when Emma pulls back to breathe, Daniel and David are entering the kitchen, excited little smiles on their faces.

David runs up until he’s standing between them, raising his arms for James to carry him.

“See, papi! I told you mami loves you!”

[jouissezduprintemps]

Something to Gain, Chapter Four: Need-to-know Basis

Rating: T Words: 2951 Fandom: Naruto Summary: Sequel to Something to Prove. Shikamaru and Temari navigate their relationship now that it’s in the public eye.

Something to Prove   First     Previous      Next

Gaara’s messages were always concise, containing no more than a short paragraph written in his small, slanted print. The orders he sent were straightforward, but they lacked any sort of detail. Yet, Temari wouldn’t sit still. She paced back and forth, making Shikamaru anxious. On the table in front of him was the cause of her concern. To him, there was nothing out of the ordinary in the message.

Temari.

Come home.

Your brother.

“I don’t get it,” Shikamaru admitted. “I mean, I don’t want you to leave either, but we’ll see each other soon.”

“No, look at it.” Temari kneeled beside the table and ran her finger along the paper. “This is Gaara we’re talking about. He’s a perfectionist. For him to use an imperative, and then not give any information, is completely out of his character. He’s never signed anything off like this before, either. ‘Your brother.’ It’s always Gaara, or the love kanji if it’s coded.” She tapped the table for emphasis. “Something’s up, and whatever it is, he doesn’t want the council involved.”

“And you’re sure it’s not Kankuro?”

“Look at the script. Gaara has the AB blood type, like you, but Kankuro has B. There’s no way he’d take the time to write this neatly.” She stood up, leaving the note on the table. “I have to go.”

“I’m coming with you.” Shikamaru stood firm in his decision.

“Tsunade isn’t going to let you travel three days with me based on my intuition,” Temari argued. As much as she wanted his company, and although he could be helpful, the vacation Tsunade had given him was almost at an end. The only way she’d allow it is if she saw it as a mission.

Shikamaru snatched up the note and shoved it in his pocket. He opened the door to her apartment, stating, “I’ll be back.”

“Where’re you going?” Temari demanded, but the door shut before she finished.

The sun was at its peak. She’d wanted to depart over an hour ago, but Shikamaru was nowhere to be found. Her foot tapped against the ground as she grew impatient. She stood on the other side of the gate from Izumo and Kotetsu’s guard post, much to their relief; they knew better than to get near the situation.

Temari was just about to leave, carrying a hefty load of anger that she’d unleash when she returned, but she heard her name, and stopped in her tracks. She turned around to see not only Shikamaru, but also Choji and Ino, running in her direction.

“Damn it, woman,” Shikamaru huffed when they came to a stop. “I told you I’d be back.”

“You were gone for hours,” she retorted.

“So you leave?”

Ino smacked Shikamaru on the shoulder, bringing him back and stopping the argument before it even started.

“You were right,” Shikamaru informed his girlfriend. “I took the letter to Lady Tsunade, and she thinks something’s gone wrong. So much so that she dispatched our squad on an A-rank mission to come with you. It took so long because she didn’t want to have the two of us on a mission together, just in case it compromised the objective. She and Shizune took forever to decide that our squad needed to go.”

“Now here we are,” Ino finished for him. “We’ve got your back, Temari. At least Shikamaru went through the trouble to make it official so we didn’t have to vanish.”

Temari didn’t know what to say. She couldn’t afford to get emotional. If she did, her worry about Gaara would surface. Although her eyes showed her gratitude, her voice was firm and cool as she said, “If we go off the beaten path and travel through the night, we can make it to Suna in two days instead of three. I don’t want to stop, but I will if we need to.”

As the de-facto leader of his team, Shikamaru nodded his assent. “The same route we’ve taken before?”

“That’s the one. Now, let’s move.”

Temari prodded the fire, as though she could will it into making some sort of difference. When night fell, the sliver of moon in the sky wasn’t enough to penetrate the thick branches of the Leaf’s ancient forest. Although their senses were keen, one small misstep could result in serious injury that high off the ground. They had no choice but to stop for the night.

“We can make up for lost time tomorrow by doubling our speed,” Ino suggested as she sat down beside Temari, trying to be helpful. Yet, all her friend did was nod. “I’m sure everything’s fine.”

“Ino, I know what you’re trying to do, but I can’t listen to it right now.” Temari’s voice was measured and even. “I can’t think about it.”

Ino reached over and took her hand, trying to understand. As well as they got along, they could be polar opposites. To her, this would be the best time to get it out of her system. They had plenty of time to rest. Temari was just stuffing it down inside herself, refusing to let it compromise her.

Temari placed her elbow on her crossed knees and let her head fall into her hand. She owed it to Ino to try to make an effort. “The last time I was in the Leaf, when something happened in my village, I got there too late.” She hesitated. “Gaara had been kidnapped, and the sand demon was pulled out of him. Kankuro had been poisoned and was on his death bed.”

She knew that Shikamaru and Choji had returned from their attempt at scavenging, and she did her best to steady herself, but she’d opened the floodgate. Her shoulders shook as she growled, out of anger at herself, “If I had been there, when Gaara and Kankuro took on the Akatsuki alone, I could have kept it from happening. If Sakura and Lady Chiyo weren’t there, I would have lost them both.”

Shikamaru sat down beside Temari and wrapped his arm around her shoulder and pulled her close. Ino continued to hold her hand in support. Temari took in a few deep, shuddering breaths, doing her best to compose herself. “This is why I didn’t want to talk about it.” She pulled her hand out of Ino’s and sat up from her place against Shikamaru’s chest. In a swift motion, she palmed away the tears on her cheeks. Her lips were pulled into a thin line, her eyes hard. “Just let me be angry. If I’m angry, I can stay focused and do something about it.”

“Temari, that’s not healthy,” Ino voiced her concern.

“Maybe not, but it works.”

Ino looked at Choji and Shikamaru for help, but Shikamaru gave a short shake of his head. Temari had said all that she was going to say, and pressuring her to talk would only make her lose her temper. He’d learned that the hard way a long time ago.

“I’m going for a walk.” Temari rolled onto the balls of her feet and stood up. She needed to get away. Her outburst was deeply embarrassing for her, and it served only to compound upon her self-loathing thoughts that she voiced.

“It’s too dangerous.” Shikamaru grabbed her wrist, standing behind her. “You need to eat and rest.”

There was hellfire in her eyes when she turned on him. “Let me go.”

He loosened his grip on her, taken aback. He watched as she stalked off. When she was gone, he noticed Choji and Ino looking at him. They wanted an explanation, and he did his best to provide one. “She knows she needs to cool off. Trust me, give her half an hour.”

“You just said it’s dangerous,” Ino protested.

“It is, but I’m not going to stop her. Until she cools off, she’s a bigger threat than anything else in the forest.” His matter-of-fact tone was a drastic juxtaposition.

Ino looked at Choji, showing him her uncertainty. She needed him to step in. He stood up and walked over to Shikamaru. “You sure you’re ok?”

“Me? Yeah.” Shikamaru frowned in his confusion. “Why wouldn’t I be?”

“That got pretty harsh…”

“Maybe, but I get it. I’m telling you, just give her a little time.”

Just as Shikamaru predicted, around a half hour passed before Temari returned to the campsite. She said nothing as she sat down beside Shikamaru and took a deep breath. “I’m sorry,” she whispered, looking at each of them in turn. “I know you were trying to help. I don’t want to get into it, but I was being too proud.”

With genuine regret, she continued, “I know I can lose my temper. I’ve been working on it. You three are special to me, and I didn’t mean to push you out. I just… there are times that my mind goes back, when I’m sure things will happen the same way they have before.” After a brief pause, she added, “I’m afraid.”

Shikamaru wrapped his arm around her shoulders and pulled her to his side. He pressed a kiss to the top of her head, a gesture she would normally have fought. “We know. It’s going to be okay, Tema.”

Choji approached her, carrying a bowl of soup they’d made from their successful scavenging. She took it with a remorseful smile. He pat her head with his large hand, and the gesture softened the look in her eyes. “We’re family,” he explained.

“Yeah, a strange, dysfunctional family,” Ino agreed, laughter in her eyes. “Like it or not, you’ve been a part of it for a while, now.”

“You’re not alone,” Shikamaru assured her. “Trust me, your brothers are fine. Gaara’s too smart to get himself mixed up in anything, and Kankuro’s just too damned lucky for anything to happen to him.”

“You’re not wrong.” Temari’s lips curled into a smile, giving relief to her friends.

It was mid-afternoon when the squad reached the boarder of the lands of Fire and Wind. The deep forest gave way to rolling sand as if artificially made, and, aside from an outcropping of fertile land in the distance, the trees almost taunted the sand. Temari leapt from the last branch and dropped down into the dunes, losing no momentum even as the sand shifted underfoot.

She gained a temporary lead on her comrades, but they were back in formation before she felt the need to stop. She refused to think about her exhaustion; to arrive as quickly as they did, they had to push themselves to the limit. It was a nasty habit of hers to neglect herself in times of crisis, and she knew Shikamaru had been keeping an eye on her. It would be a blessing if they were given time to rest, but she had a sense of foreboding as the village walls rose in the distance.

Once they fell beneath the shadows, she slowed her pace to a walk. The temperature dropped significantly, and she wanted to cling to that difference as long as she could. She was in a state of limbo; on this side of the wall, she didn’t know what was happening, she didn’t have to face her fear. All the same, the anxiety was killing her. She greeted the guards as casually as she could, so as not to arouse suspicion, and carried herself through the village with her head held high.

“I’m going to check at home, first,” she informed her teammates. “Gaara can be reclusive when something’s not right. I’d be surprised if he was in his office.”

“Even if he isn’t, Kankuro might be,” Shikamaru added. The puppet master spent a good deal of his free time locked in his workshop.

They arrived at her front door just in time to have it opened for them. Kankuro stood on the other side, makeup-free and without his hat. The three Leaf ninja took a moment before recognizing him. He turned his head over his shoulder and called “Gaara! Tema’s back early!” He stepped to the side, letting his sister and her guests into the foyer. “And she brought Shikamaru! Again!”

Temari slapped Kankuro’s chest with the back of her hand. “Quit being an ass and tell me what’s going on.”

“Damn, I missed you too, I guess,” Kankuro grumbled. “Cut me some slack. We didn’t think you’d get here before tomorrow, and we figured you’d be alone.”

“Well, I’m here now and I’m not. Now go get Gaara.” Her tone was impatient, and she narrowed her eyes at her younger brother.

By adding the two bar stools to the kitchen table, there were enough seats to accommodate the six of them. Gaara refused to speak in his office, claiming that his home was the one place he trusted. He’d taken his place at the head of the table, where he rested his elbows in front of him and laced his fingers, his eyes narrowed in thought. Temari, who sat to Gaara’s left and across from Kankuro, slammed her hands down on the table.

“What the hell is going on, Gaara?” she demanded, giving him an order in a way that only she could get away with.

“Temari-” Kankuro snapped, but she didn’t want to hear it.

“No. You send me a message like this, and I come home to see you’re both fine, and you won’t say anything about it?! That’s bullshit. I haven’t slept in two days. Tell me what’s going on. Now.” The power balance had shifted from kage and advisor to younger brother and older sister, and she wasn’t about to let go of the upper hand.

“There’s a leak in our intelligence.” Gaara stated, lowering his hands. “That letter was the only way I could think to tell you something serious was wrong without raising suspicion. I’m sorry you were so worried, but it was necessary, and effective.” His pale eyes flicked over to the Konoha squad. “I didn’t expect Lady Tsunade to get wind of this, let alone send a team.”

Shikamaru coughed into his fist. “I’ll admit, that was my fault.”

“I wouldn’t call it a fault,” Gaara gave a slight nod. “It was unexpected, but luck is on our side to have a Yamanaka operating with us.”

Ino was flattered, but she kept a serious face.

“Your father, Inoichi Yamanaka, is the head of the Analysis Team of the Konoha Intelligence Division, correct?”

“Yes. I’ve been training under him for the last few years. I’m nowhere near his level, but I’ve assisted him on several occasions.”

Gaara gave the slightest smile. “We would be grateful if your team assisted us in the investigation. At the moment, I don’t trust anyone on my council. My brother and sister have my confidence, and my faith in Shikamaru extends to you both.”

“And Baki?” Shikamaru inquired.

“I can’t be sure, as much as I don’t want to admit it.”

“How do you know there’s a leak?” Temari asked, studying her brother’s body language. His subtle shift in posture spoke volumes about his stress.

“I’d thought Sasori’s loyalists had faded into the background, but it seems that there are still those who want me out of power. Kankuro saw one of Sasori’s known moles pass a scroll to someone he didn’t recognize.”

“I took them both down,” Kankuro assured the group. “They had been passing highly classified information about our alliance with the Leaf. The conditions, the parties involved, all the way to Temari’s relationship with Shikamaru.”

“Anything tying our villages together was in that document. It’s safe to assume that whoever is leaking information wants to, at least, sever the alliance, if not start a war.” Gaara drummed his fingers on the table, looking out the window and down on his village. “I refuse to let that happen.”

“So what are we thinking?” Choji asked, comfortable enough to speak up at their unofficial round table.

Kankuro crossed his arms. “I think we need to lure them out with false intel. Something that’ll shake them out of the woodwork. It needs to be big, and it needs to be believable.”

Ino snapped her fingers. “Temari’s pregnant!”

Shikamaru’s “What?” was drowned out by Kankuro’s shout of “I’ll kill you Nara!”

“Kankuro, sit down!” Temari ordered, keeping her brother from coming over the table at her terrified boyfriend. “I’m not pregnant, idiots!”

“Ino clearly means that we spread the misinformation,” Gaara clarified, his eyes darting from Shikamaru to Kankuro and back, making sure that peace was kept. “And she’s right. Whoever is opposed to the alliance won’t sit back if they think a half-Konoha child is going to be born a Suna native of the Kazekage Bloodline.”

“We’re being used as bait,” Shikamaru surmised.

“It does seem to be the most effective method. By law, if Kankuro and I die before having children, it would be the sole heir. As Rasa’s grandchild it could claim the right to rule Suna, and the council couldn’t oppose.”

“No way those old bastards would take that risk,” Kankuro agreed, seeing the plan fold out before them.

“I don’t want anyone outside this room to know our plan,” Gaara informed them, “so I’ll ask Choji and Ino to stand in as guards when you leave this house. We’ll say Shikamaru personally requested them from the Hokage during his visit. I trust that you’ll be able to sense if you’re being followed?”

“Easily,” Ino assured him.

“I will have to carry on as usual, but Kankuro will be watching the shadows. With any luck, we’ll get a lead.”

“So how are you going to get the rumor out?” Temari asked, accepting her fate.

“That’s easy; Kankuro will leak it to Yukata and Matsuri.”

[jamiekturner]

The most popular DC animated movies to watch in a lifetime

One of the most celebrated cinema couples – DC and Warner Bros – brought to our attention the most amazing comic book-based animation movies ever. They mastered the skill of bringing superhero adventures to life, and they’re continuing to provide the best entertainment for all audiences.

DC animated movies are so good that they have a lot of cinematic adaptations. Yet, unlike the surreal and expanded universes of Marvel Studios, DC’s straight-to-video animations celebrate the actual heroes as they were presented by their comic books.

In short, DC animated movies are not Sci-Fi mash-ups, but they tell the standalone story just as it is. That’s why they’re worth to watch.

Ready for some good DC animated movies? Here is our list of the best DC animation movies you should watch:

Superman/Shazam: The Return Of Black Adam

Shazam, for instance, is a neglected DC character. This is the superhero alter ego of a boy named Billy Watson.

Billy becomes Shazam each time he says his name, all before he meets a wizard that can change his life forever. The mortal enemy of our hero is Black Adam. He returns from the past to haunt and kill Billy before he obtains his Shazam powers, and Billy has to fight him over and over again.

Producers made the smart move of introducing Superman to the audience – Clark interviews Billy, and then fights next to him and helps him defeat Black Adam. The movie targets young dreamers who wish to have Billy’s magical powers and to feel better accepted.

Justice League: The New Frontier

Although DC Comics began entertaining us in the early 1930s, Justice League animated movies appeared only in 1960. The masterpiece The New Frontier treats a post-WWII tale where all leading heroes join strengths to defeat the evil about to destroy Earth.

Many of today’s favorite DC heroes were actually introduced with New Frontier, and so was the concept of godly creatures working hand-by-hand with strong humans for a good cause.

Green Lantern: First Flight

The reason why we all love DC animated movies (or their comic books) is the inherent weirdness of their characters, or maybe how that weirdness is fully embraced.

Green Lantern is a good example of such animated DC movies – a unique comic figure in the role of a space cop Hal Jordan who owns a magic green ring that makes his wishes come true.

And yet, Green Lantern Jordan shoots laser blasts and decides to travel through space. Meanwhile, he discovers and confronts a dangerous conspiracy within the Green Lantern Corps.

The only weakness of Green Lanterns is the color yellow.

Superman/Batman: Public Enemies

We all appreciate a good Batman-Superman story, as these are our two most beloved animation heroes. Superman would only entrust his Kryptonite bullet to Batman, as he’s the only person that’d actually use it if Superman loses control.

In the Public Enemies movie, the two heroes join forces to deal with a government conspiracy – Superman was framed for murder by President Luthor, and Batman is the only hero from the crowd that helps him solve this problem.

Who could be a more serious enemy than the head of the state? The ultimate fight will cause Superman and Batman to face their other superhero friends, and to do the impossible to clean their names. With plenty of thrilling moments and explosive action, this movie guarantees some serious fun!

All-Star Superman

All-Star Superman was produced by Grant Morrison, and belongs to the category of finest comics ever. All along, we were made to believe that the only thing that can destroy Superman is Kryptonite (basically, Superman was indestructible to us!), but Grant Morison changed it all with his unconventional All-Star Superman.

We were shocked at the very beginning of the movie – Superman got overdosed with solar radiation, and we got to watch the last year of his life. Yet, the protagonist remained hopeful and optimistic, and we enjoyed that together with the producer’s artistic mastery.

As expected, Superman did the best he could to help people in different ways, as he knew he wasn’t going to be around for long.

Batman: Under the Red Hood

We’re all haunted by a mistake from the past, and Batman is no exception. In his case, he regrets not being able to prevent Jason Todd’s death, his beloved second Robin who fell into Joker’s hands. The question that confuses us here is – What prevents Batman from killing the Joker?

The Joker doesn’t stay in Arkham for long, and each time he gets out he causes destructions and death. Batman, however, doesn’t want to take this road – he is afraid that if he kills the Joker, he won’t stop killing.

This is without a doubt one of the best DC animated movies, and a remarkable Batman story. The crime drama takes multiple hard-boiled and mystical turns, and takes our breath away ‘til the very end.

Justice League: Crisis on Two Earths

In Crisis on Two Earths, DC animation films discussed multiverse for the very first time. Causal viewers were all head over heels, experienced what’d happen if all Justice League heroes had evil counterparts trying to destroy Earth. Bad, nonetheless, is not the only answer to this question.

Batman’s doppelganger is Owl-Man (James Wood), and his character is simply brought to perfection in this movie. The fight is intense until the very end, making us wonder who could possibly win this battle.

Wonder Woman

This animated movie doesn’t only tell us who Wonder Woman is, but also explains many of the things that happened before and after she got this title. It explains in a very masterful way what enigmatic origin actually means, and makes us like Princess Diana with or without her wonder woman features.

As Princess Diana ventured the male world, she was still a naive and well-tempered lady. Yet, she had just enough skills to turn into layered hero Wonder Woman, an exciting storyline with top-notch pacing that kept us motionless in front of our screens. For a superhero tale, Wonder Woman has a pretty realistic and faithful origin development, and treats an evergreen topic – justice.

Justice League: War

Here’s one of the newest additions of the Justice League saga – the readapted 52 story of Justice League: Origin. Here, we can enjoy a completely reinvented and DC-untypical universe set and the New 52 canon’s confines.

We may like or dislike the characters in New 52, but that doesn’t make War any less compelling, fun, or visually spectacular. It is still amazing to see how superheroes team up as one wouldn’t expect them to, as when Batman and Green Lantern or Superman and Wonder Woman learn to work together.

Justice League Dark

At a certain point, DC animated movies decided to explore the mystical side of their Universe, and the decision was a total success!

They introduced us to Swamp Thing, John Constantine, Zatanna, Etrigan, and Deadman – the dark heroes that hallucinate of demons and kill each other. Batman is once again supposed to take the lead – he looks for John Constantine, the master of these mystical arts, and asks for his help.

In Justice League Dark, we have the unique opportunity to enjoy superhero action blended with horror, and produced with the animation finesse only DC Films can provide. Better yet, it showed us that every comic book we love can easily become a dark tale – it only takes some imagination!

Teen Titans: The Judas Contract

Teen Titans also got their own animated movie to tell the story of their superhero team. The Judas Contract updates this storyline in a modern way, introducing the betrayal of their favorite fan.

You may discover differences between the cartoon continuity and the comic book, but the story will still impress you – the Teen Titans have become more mature, and producers have discovered the right dark sides of their story to create this movie.

Superman vs The Elite

This time, Superman fights vigilantes who kill and injure villains with their powers. The subplot takes place in two imaginary enemy countries, and Superman tries really hard to stop this never-ending war.

Consequently, the Elite go after the leaders of these countries to stop the senseless violence – it may sound a bit nutty, but so does the imprisonment of super-power villains who can get out without any problem.

As Man of Steel cuts loose, the Elite discover that Superman is not willing to hurt people, and that’s what is holding him back. For the audience, this is a fact writers of such stories often leave aside – Superman is not only a superhero, but also a lovely human being.

Teen Titans Vs. Justice League

Being a sidekick in a DC animation movie is not the best role you can have, as it is in the case of Robin and Batman. And yet, sidekicks manage to earn the acknowledgment and respect of Earth’s most powerful being, as they prove to be able to oppose any force.

This theory is first tested in Teen Titans vs. Justice League, where leaders don’t have their weapons anymore, and can only rely on their protégés to save the world. The movie has a lot of similarities with the Judas Contract, and you should watch both of them to feel the full impact.

Son of Batman

Grant Morrison’s latest creation Damian Wayne has raised many controversial comic book debates ever since it joined the DC animated universe – some of us can’t understand how Batman’s sons don’t have his maturity and ability to do better than him, while others simply enjoy watching Bruce in a role of a caring father with a hidden identity.

Along the way, Bruce deals with serious fatherhood challenges such as teaching his sons not to kill criminals, which is a unique screen transition from Batman’s well-known past to his intriguing future. The movie has three parts, and all of them feature animal-human hybrids that add up interest to the story.

Batman vs. Robin

For those who didn’t watch it, Batman vs. Robin is kind of a sequel to the Sons of Batman trilogy – we don’t get to watch Nightwing dealing with his family heritage, but we still deal with Damian Wayne who continues killing because he was raised by the League of Assassins.

It is disputable whether DC needed another movie on this story, and it is actually very good that the villains take over: Watching them challenging Batman over the fate of Damian’s soul is one of the best DC animation moments ever!

Batman: Assault on Arkham

Even though Batman has been mentioned in the title, this is not a Batman movie. The Dark Knight opens up the setting, but he has only a supportive role. The throne this time belongs to the Suicide Squad – a group of brave villains on a suicide mission.

Amanda Waller sent our favorite characters Deadshot, Captain Boomerang, Harley Quinn, King Shark, KG Beast, Black Spider, and Killer Frost on duty in Arkham Asylum, where they’re supposed to fool Riddler into providing them information. As long as they manage to defeat Batman!

Superman/Batman: Apocalypse

Here’s another misleading title: Superman and Batman won’t be working together this time, and they’re both in the shadow of a new character and Clark’s cousin Super Girl. As Kara Zor-El arrives on Earth, she tries to settle in and to control her amazing powers. Clark shows her around, and suggest she should live among Amazons to gain self-control.

And it’d all be fine, if it wasn’t for Darkside to kidnap Super Girl and to try to misuse her powers. The movie guarantees an exhilarating plot and exciting action, but the original comic art (Michael Turner) is often considered too sexual for the story behind it.

Justice League: Doom

We are all familiar with Batman’s trust issues, in particular the discrimination against people with unusual powers. This explains why he always had a contingency plan to use the Justice League’s powers nefariously, in case the cohort went rogue.

Doom teaches us to expect the unexpected, and takes us on an action-packed journey which also showcases sorrow and regrets. We empathize with Batman as his loved ones are in danger, and that danger is actually caused by his own mean plans.

The movie also brings us the classic villains such as mastermind Vandal Savage, but also his less-known fellows Star Saphire, Bane, and Metallo.

All things together, there’s little chance you won’t enjoy this faced-paced and stellar thriller. The recipe of success has all the right ingredients: a compelling and riveting storyline, well-executed and crisp-clear animation, and the best possible voice performance.

Batman: The Dark Knight Returns Vol 1 & 2

For those who think the opposite, there is only one The Dark Knight Returns animated movie. What the title here tells us is that the story has two parts, and these parts are brought together on screen for the first time.

Regardless of it, we must agree that this is DC’s best attempt so far to stay true to the Dark Knight story, and to adapt it to viewers’ expectations. The Dark Knight here is older and about to retire, but before he does, he meets his cruelest enemies – the Mutants.

The struggle is obvious – Batman is no longer physically fit for the task, and he needs to train a whole new Robin to help him (Carrie Kelly). To the pleasure of viewers, however, Mutants and gangsters end up regretting messing with Batman, just the way we, faithful fans, would like it to be.

All in all, this movie confirmed that Batman is still a symbol of power, and no one can take this from him!

Batman: Year One

While watching this movie, one may even think it does not belong to the DC animation series. Unlike all action-packed Batman pieces we got used to, Year One offers a slow-paced and grounded development of events, just the way Frank Miller described it.

The screenwriter answered the most intriguing question of the Batman fans’ community – How did Batman come to be? How was it possible for an orphaned trust fund boy to turn into the Dark Knight?

Year One follows Bruce’s growing up in corrupt and vicious Gotham, and the situations that inspired him to pursue justice at all costs. At the time, Bruce had few encounters with criminals already, and decided to wear a mask in order to intimidate them.

Year One also introduces us to another important character in the story – Lieutenant Gordon who’d just moved to the city and is terrified by what’s going on there. He needs to stand against his entire police department, the mobsters, and the Catwoman how’s jealous of him.

Justice League: Throne of Atlantis

Throne of Atlantis deals mainly with Aquaman’s origin, a neglected character in the superhero community who talks to fish, and is often mocked because of it. What the Justice League fails to realize is that Aquaman can control the oceans, or what forms in fact 70% of the Earth. Throne of Atlantis explains to us where he comes from, and how he becomes a respected member of the Justice League.

Superman: Doomsday

When LexCorps accidentally unleash a murderous creature, Doomsday, Superman meets his greatest challenge as a champion. Based on the “The Death of Superman” storyline that appeared in DC Comics’ publications in the 1990s.

Justice League: The Flashpoint Paradox

If you’re a Flash fan too, you must agree it felt good to see your favorite hero headlining a movie of his one. Flashpoint Paradox is perhaps the darkest DC animation film ever, so creepy that even Scarlet Speedster’s charm can’t shine through.

The storyline is very involving: Barry Allen travels through time to prevent his mother’s death, but his attempt results in destroying the DC Universe as we knew it ‘til now. This means that Bruce Wayne will be murdered in front of his father, and that he’ll never become Batman.

The Flash won’t get his powers, and the rest of the superhero crew will absolutely transform the Earth. Wonder Woman, for instance, conquers Great Brittan, while Aquaman drowns most of the old continent. Meanwhile, the US government imprisons Superman forever, and the Justice League simply doesn’t exist.

Even if you watch this movie for the 10th time, you’ll still spot changes you missed before. What a visual delight!

BATMAN: GOTHAM BY GASLIGHT

Gotham by Gaslight came to a very important conclusion: As old and explored Batman’s story could seem, there is always a way to shed new light over it! If you’re into new animated movies, you shouldn’t miss this masterpiece.

This time, we’ll be traveling to Victorian Gotham, and our enemy will be infamous serial killer Jack the Ripper. To stop the terrors he’s causing, Bruce Wayne goes undercover in the unprivileged part of Gotham, and behaves in a way we never really expected.

Of course, the movie doesn’t deprive us of our favorite Dark Knight features, but the new package he comes in is truly fascinating. Regardless of the conditions, Batman blends easily into this exciting world, and we can’t wait to see how Gotham will be recreated in the future!

Suicide Squad: Hell To Pay

Since we’re talking of new DC animated movies, we shouldn’t miss Suicide Squad – the piece that never stopped fascinating us. The thin line between these powered creatures saving people or taking over the world creates a superb tension, both for other DC heroes and for the audience.

Hell to Pay has another great squad mission to present us – Amanda Waller’s last chance to save her soul by obtaining a ‘getting out of hell’ card. The turn of events will leave you speechless!

Batman: Gotham Knight

Here comes another highly unusual Batman animation. Gotham Knight contributed Christopher Nolan’s movies the same way Animatrix did with the Matrix trilogy.

This time, the best Japanese directors and American writers joined forces to complete the story between Batman Begins and The Dark Knight. The result of their work are six amazing short movies that embrace Batman’s entire life and the mysteries around him.

Batman: The Killing Joke

The Killing Joke is often referred to as the story that made Batman what he is today and perhaps one of the best animated Batman movies ever. It took multiple recreations in over 40 years to come up with a piece as marvelous as this – a brutal and controversial story where the Joker manages to prove that one bad day is enough for everyone to go crazy.

Batman: Bad Blood

Batman fans settled (somehow) for the Son of Batman and Batman vs. Robin movies, and for the idea of Batman not having the end he deserves. The third part of this story (Bad Blood), however, crossed the line.

We’re not saying that nothing interesting takes place in this movie, but the turn of events is so fast that we can hardly keep track of it. We lose Bruce Wayne at the very beginning of the movie, and we don’t even get to mourn him in the 75 minutes of exhausting plots waiting for us.

The best part of the top DC movie comes somewhere along the end – The Bat family fights together, and Damien finally takes over. This is also where we get to see Batwoman (Kate Kane) in an animation for the first time, and she looks exactly as we remember her from the original comics.

Green Lantern: Emerald Knights

The anthology sequence of Green Lanterns combines multiple short stories, and each of them treats a different Green Lantern Corps member.

Since there was no way to create a story on every character, filmmakers focused on the favorite protagonists, and ensured fans will enjoy every minute of watching. Note – even if you watched all animated DC movies, you may find these stories confusing.

Batman Beyond: Return Of The Joker

Welcome to the story of the new Batman Terry McGinnis! This is also his first encounter with the atrocities inflicted upon Batman for more than 35 years, which results in this movie being too grim and dark for children to watch. Another big return is one of the Clown Prince of Crime (Mark Hamil), just as good as he used to be before.

Batman: Mask Of The Phantasm

Last but not least, there is the very best Batman movie: Mask of the Phantasm.

In this DC animation film, you will find all Batman features that you like – the beautiful animations, the involving voices, and the origin story of Bruce Wayne presented in a whole new and fresh light. Odds are great this will be the best Batman performance you’ve ever seen!

Ending thoughts on the best DC animated movies

We hope that our list of best DC movies invoked some good memories of the time spent exploring the DC animated movie universe. We, the same as all fans of the best superhero cartoon movies are looking forward to enriching this collection, and we promise to keep you posted on upcoming DC animated movies! Meanwhile – have fun!

If you enjoyed reading this article about the best DC animated movies, you should read these as well:

48 Of The Best Short Animated Films (Oscar winners included)

34 Of The Best Motion Graphics Studios And Their Work

Kinetic Typography: Best 47 Videos

  The post The most popular DC animated movies to watch in a lifetime appeared first on Design your way.

from Web Development & Designing https://www.designyourway.net/blog/inspiration/motion-graphics/dc-animated-movies/

[daleisgreat]

Top 10 and Worst 5 Films of 2014 through 2016

I meant to do this last year, but completely neglected it. When I ran my old podcast, one episode a year, my friends Matt, Jay and I would host our annual best and worst movies of the year episode. We did three installments for films that hit in 2011-2013. The podcast is not around anymore so I have not done it since, but I still have been keeping Word documents on my computer with a list of all the movies I saw each year and constantly update my top 10 and worst 5 rankings of the year. I meant to post the best and worst of 2015 as a blog, but as I said it just slipped past me and I will make up for it now with a triple best and worst list for 2014 through 2016. I had a whole extra year to catch up on Netflix and VUDU on 2014 and 2015 releases I missed so I have seen about 20% more films than I did than 2016. So hopefully that will excuse any glaring omissions that did not make my rankings. That said, I am still feeling pretty good about my 2016 list and there were only a handful of films that slipped by me that I have not seen yet. Movies linked on the lists will take you to my review of the film if you want to see my expanded thoughts on the film. One last thing before the lists, I want to give a shoutout to one of my favorite film critics, Scott Sawitz! I have discussed movies, wrestling and a ton more with Scott for well over a decade and have had the pleasure of having him guest host on my aforementioned podcast several times. I have always been a fan of his reviews and weekly column, Monday Morning Critic, over at Inside Pulse. His latest column is his annual top 10 films of the year I always look forward to. Scott has a twist on his rankings this year because he has been putting a ton of work into his weekly YouTube series, Confessions of a Super-Hero, weekly bite-sized episodic viewing all about what super-heroes do in their off-duty downtime. If you have a moment, please check it out! Now, onto the lists! 2014 TOP 10 10) Wild 9) Nightcrawler 8) Gone Girl 7) Equalizer/John Wick 6) Imitation Game 5) Interstellar 4) Guardians of the Galaxy 3) Whiplash 2) Captain America: The Winter Soldier 1) Boyhood Best Documentary – Life Itself

The two comic book films on the list ranked high with Marvel having a stellar year. Guardians surprised me because the concept just seemed impossible to pull off in live action with an animated tree and talking raccoon, but somehow Marvel did it and it kicked all kinds of ass. Winter Soldier was an awesome modern day follow up to The First Avenger. I seem to be in the minority of people when discussing Interstellar, and while I would rank it a notch or two under other non-Batman Christopher Nolan classics like Inception, I still very much enjoyed it that it made it into the midst of my top 10. Life Itself is an excellent documentary all about Roger Ebert in his final days as it documents his and Gene Siskel’s breakout rise as the go to film critics of the nation. Wild hit all the right nerves for me on Cheryl Strayed’s arduous journey of self-discovery. Nightcrawler shocked me at the lengths Gyllenhaal went to get the ultimate creep-o look down and his convincing transition from wannabe ripoff artist to the quintessential conman. I was expecting Equalizer to be a by-the-numbers action flick, but Denzel Washington proved me wrong by adding on many layers to it, and it is bizarre how John Wick came out within weeks of it and both were nearly identical plots, but both delivered in their own unique way. John Wick also gets my dubious award for best ever Kevin Nash cameo. Finally, props to Richard Linklater for delivering on his film that was literally 12 years in the making with Boyhood. Linklater is a risk taker with his ambitious projects, and he knocked another one out of the park with Boyhood getting my vote as best film of 2014. 2014 WORST 5 5) Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 4) Tekken 2 3) Pro-Wrestling Zombies 2) Amazing Spider-Man 2 1) Transformers: Rise of the Fallen 2014 saw many terrible films, I actually had nearly 10 films as being ‘worst 5-calibur’ material. The TMNT remake had a few bright spots and scene-saving moments from Will Arnett, but he alone could not save a film with so many gut-wrenching jokes and awful retconning of the TMNT lore I grew up with. I actually dug the first Tekken film as a kind of solid nonsense fighting tournament movie that was kind of faithful to the source material ala Mortal Kombat, but the sequel was this awful attempt at a mafia-crime-mystery-drama that failed on all levels. Pro-Wrestling Zombies was a very low budget zombie slashing film starring Matt Hardy, Jim Duggan and Roddy Piper, but with these wrestling legends it was not even enjoyable in an ironic way like most zombie films, and was just flatout bad. Amazing Spider-Man 2 shocked me because I legitimately enjoyed the reboot, and thought this would be another easy follow up with most of the same cast and crew returning. However, Spider-Man and Electro both cast painful jokes and banter throughout that did not exist in the prior film, and there were countless groan inducing moments. The latest Transformers film outdid the straight-up bad humor and moments throughout the entire wreck of a film. Michael Bay somehow found a way to make it a nearly insurmountable task to get through. 2015 Top 10 10) Southpaw 9) Ant Man 8) The Martian 7) End of the Tour 6) Mad Max: Fury Road 5) Revenant 4) Creed 3) Steve Jobs 2) Spotlight 1) Hateful Eight Best Documentary – Tie: Electric Boogaloo & Winning: Racing Life of Paul Newman

Yeah, I like my feel good boxing/sports films as Jake Gyllenhaal shined again this year in Southpaw and Creed surpassed my expectations with its contemporary take on the Rocky franchise. While the lighthearted moments from Damon seemed a little forced, I still very much dug his Mars survival story, but not as much I got immersed into Dicaprio’s and Tom Hardy’s intense wilderness survival adventure that is The Revenant. Fury Road marked the first Mad Max movie I saw and the bombastic costumes initially had me raising an eyebrow, but once the heavy metal guitar semi-truck graced the screen in its infinite glory I instantly went on board with the film and never got off. I recently reviewed Steve Jobs, and if you recall I absolutely loved its use of creative license to tell a nonstop dialogue juggernaut of three big moments in Jobs’ life. Spotlight is the perfect way to tell a slow building mystery film where investigative journalists gradually picked away at their biggest scoop ever. Finally, I am biased towards Quentin Tarantino as I view the man as being one of the absolute best at dialogue in films, and he delivered once again with countless another excellent script and scenes that stole the show in The Hateful Eight. The setting worked perfectly and I was on my toes waiting to see which one of the eight was going to make the first move in a powdered keg filled with characters ready to burst. 2015 Worst 5 5) Fantastic Four 4) Jupiter Ascending 3) Chappie 2) Ted 2 1) Pixels

I was surprised at how bad Jupiter Ascending turned out to be, and did not expect Channing Tatum to be the only decent part of that film. After the dud that was Sucker Punch and now Jupiter Ascending, I am cutting myself off from all future Wachowski-directed films. I am a fan of District 9 and its director Neil Blomkamp and felt burned by his latest film, the insufferable Chappie in numerous ways. I was anticipating bad things from both Fantastic Four or Pixels, but part of me forced myself to go to see how awful they ultimately were. Fantastic Four was mostly drawn out and dull, and had some very head-scratching moments throughout. I cannot remember the last Adam Sandler film I legitimately liked, does the first half of Funny People count? Any marginal hopes of a semi-decent film were squashed the second Kevin James popped up on screen as the dopey president of the USA. Practically the entire film was bad, but I will at least give it minor props for some pretty good use of the videogame CG in the film. 2016 Top 10 10) Purge: Election Year 9) Deadpool 8) Star Trek: Beyond 7) 13 Hours: Secret Soldiers of Benghazi 6) Captain America: Civil War 5) Batman vs. Superman: Dawn of Justice 4) Hacksaw Ridge 3) Sully 2) Fences 1) The Accountant Best Documentary – ESPN 30 for 30: The ’85 Bears

The last two Purge films have turned into guilty Halloween pleasures like the old Final Destination films. Election Year kept up the same gritty, over-the-top tone and pace as Anarchy Reigns before it. Deadpool surprised me at not being a dud, and far exceeded my expectations with tons of great jokes, dialogue, action and unapologetically aware 4th wall-breaking references throughout. It has been awhile since I got wrapped up in an intense R-rated war film, and 2016 had two of them with 13 Hours and Hacksaw Ridge that both get high recommendations from me. I am a wee bit of a Clint Eastwood fan, but I will give him and Tom Hanks righteous props on how they somehow made Sully’s heroic emergency plane landing into the Hudson River a thrilling feature length film. Some of you who saw the list are probably baffled at why I rank the controversial Dawn of Justice over the much-loved Civil War, but the two ranked so close together I just might change my answer if you ask me any day of the week. If I am splitting hairs I did not care for the shoehorned Spider-Man extended cameo, and his dialogue has me worried that Homecoming is going to be filled with an equal, if not worse script than Amazing Spider-Man 2. Denzel Washington and Viola Davis are sublime in Fences. The small, but mighty cast here delivered powerful performances, with Washington and Davis especially delivering in this dialogue-driven-tour-de-force about hard times for a family making ends meet in the 1950s. I did not know too much going into The Accountant other than it had what appeared to be a gimmick of an assassin with Autism. I could not have been more wrong as there is so much more going on with this film that it entertained me throughout its near two and a half hour runtime. Ben Affleck continues his streak of excellent performances, and I cannot wait to see how his upcoming solo version of The Batman turns out. Worst 5 2) Suicide Squad 1) Billy Lynn’s Long Halftime Walk

I have only seen two movies this year that qualify as “worst 5-caliber.” I could not get into Suicide Squad. The first third of the film played out like an extended trailer scored with worn out songs that I am use to only hearing off trailers. There were several WTF moments throughout, and add in the film felt compromised after audiences griped that Dawn of Justice was not lighthearted enough. DC/Warner Bros. responded by pasting in several post-production groan-worthy zingers that played more to the mainstream, but made me cringe. I am optimistic for the presumable sequel though, because I did dig Will Smith as Deadshot and Margot Robbie’s portrayal of fan favorite, Harley Quinn and I am even interested in what direction they take The Joker next. Halftime Walk usurped it as my worst film of the year however because of how unlikeable the cast is. About 20% of the film is war flashbacks that I actually liked, but the other 80% is the members of the military squad’s day being honored at a football game, and just being super dick-ish and incredibly un-empathetic throughout it. I know this is based off a book, but I do not know if something got lost in translation or if this was the desired vision of the film. Either way, it yields my worst of the year honors! Thanks for sticking with me rambling all this way, see you next year!