#u can pick which au this is honestly it could be any of them

[inkedwaters]

*    ⟢  felix gaebras → @gracefallen : ❝ i don't love you anymore.  ❞

the words land like a punch to the gut, physically flinching away from the awful truth, from the bandaged cracks beginning to split open within his heart. he can barely see the blonde through wide eyes quickly filling with hot tears, a muscle ticking in his cheek with the strain of trying to stop them from falling. " you -- " words fail, breath escaping in short bursts. how quickly one person could undo him. the one person that he never would have anticipated hurting him, not like this. " what did i do wrong ? " delivered on a broken whisper, arms crossing protectively over his chest, attempting to hold together his broken heart.

[headingalaxys-spicy]

Yo! Gotta say it dude

I love your writing, headcanons n AUs, trust me whenever I got the chance to catch a look on this phone screen I hop on tumblr and read smth from u fr, thank u for saving me and lot of ppl who follow ur acc from boredom and other things.

Buuuuut I also got a little request here, ofc if u don't mind,

So I'm sorta obsessed with 2p'hetalia , especially with 2p Russia(and ig that's obvious lol), can ya write some more about Viktor braginsky(2p russia), like literally anything you want.. I just wanna read anything about that man 😩🤌🏼 - ash the salad🥗💜

Again thank you <3

Honestly, I love having my ask box open. The majority of y’all are giving me the will to live sometimes. I hope this does not disappoint. Enjoy! :) 

2p Russia during Spooky Season Headcannons

He’s likely written down plot 5,769 to torment and kill 2p America in one of the many journals he keeps. [Al pranked Viktor again by egging his house, teepeeing it, and also having a well-covered pitfall that Viktor fell into and broke his arm] 

“I’ve had enough of this bullshit. Stupid American has to pay piper.” 

Viktor either likes to serve his Karma cold like the ice tundra he was born into, or he’ll make a Rube Goldberg-like machine that seems to have an anti-climactic end, only to have it be devastating. The delayed devastation will be something that fucks all up Al so much to where he will have to reincarnate his entire body, not to mention the fucking recovery time will be a month or so. [For perspective, it takes at least 24 hours-78 hours (usually) for any nation to recover if they’ve been fatally injured]

Night owl. Viktor enjoys the solace of the night. This works for him since being around too many people or just people, in general, annoys and drains him. Since it’s Fall, sunlight is far more scarce. Viktor will also enjoy strolls through the forest under the guidance of the moonlight if, for whatever reason, he’s unable to sleep or concentrate on any task he needs to complete or a hobby of his. 

Viktor loves going to movie theatres when they’re mostly empty. He goes to see the yearly installment of whatever popular horror movie is out. On occasion, he will be impressed by a breakout masterpiece or some film director's magnum opus, which will make him want to rewatch a movie. [By rewatch, I mean it’s background noise for him while he knits, does chores, or cooks.] 

Viktor knows of the best-hidden libraries and bookshops and the best Halloween displays for the top books of the season. He likes to pick his top 5 and read through them to see which ones are the best and rank them in his journals. 

The dude can carve some intricate pumpkins. I’m talking about hyperrealistic-looking monsters from Russian folklore. Viktor even carves other things such as ghoulish faces, eyes, and ghosts [that somehow he made to look translucent with just a candle and his X-ACTO knife.] These will be the main decorations that adorn his house.  

Some of his other favorite decorations are spiders and their webs. 

He will always dress as the Grim Reaper because he has bright scarlet eyes, a menacing demeanor, and a terrifying aura. Plus, with the hood obscuring half of his face…. Yeah, his citizens know full well he’s not to be fucked with. [unless you really just give no fucks and don’t have a vested interest in having a quality of life or…being alive] 

In the bar Viktor frequents, the owner had cut a deal with him: Be here in Sept & Oct dressed as the Grim Reaper and let people trouble him for a picture, and he gets paid in any Vodka he can drink for the night, his own special place in the bar that won’t be crowded by people, and fifty Rubes per hour. To Viktor, it's not a bad deal. The owner even had a scythe commissioned to be made with Sterling Silver to make sure he could look as accurate as the Grim Reaper as possible. 

On the actual day of Halloween in the morning [3:33 am], he’ll throw a dart at the map of his nation and where it lands will be where he seeks out a mystic babushka to get his fortune read.

[mothwitch-arcanum]

Reverse 1999 x MLP AU Idea!

So! I said I had this in my drafts for a while but I just realized it was weirdly formatted so I'm redoing everything.

everything here was inspired by this post/fanart and the characters will be mostly based on them! with a few extra mixed in.

First off, Context! While this is more based on Gen 4 (Friendship is Magic), it does feel a bit of a Gen 5 derivative in that it's supposed to be future Equestria.

The Alicorn Princesses and the Element of Harmony are long gone, simply a distant memory in the minds of many of today's ponies. Equestria since then have not had any one or two princesses to rule, however remnants of the old kingdom still persist. The Twilight Foundation as well as The School for the Primary Defence of Ponykind (SPDP) were founded by old members of Princess Twilight's court and Celestia's School for Gifted Unicorns respectively, and made as a response to a prophecy which was uncovered that said on the last day of the 2nd millennium since Princess Luna's banishment, a great calamity will befall upon Equestria which will turn the land of ponies back to how it once was. And so on the last day of the year 1999, time stood still and started reversing everything. Nopony was safe from it's effects... except for one. Her name was Invert Tempo. The Timekeeper, of the Twilight Foundation.

(characters and more under the cut)

Characters! (Ponified edition!)

(These are just names I personally came up with. If a better suggestion comes for any of them then I shall consider changing it)

Invert Tempo - Vertin (Earth pony) I saw a post once that said Vertin was just an anagram of Invert and I really wanted to incorporate that. Tempo was the suggestion of a friend, which relates to her musical inclination. or a shortened for of temporal which... y'know... fits very well

Sonnet "Sonetto" Moon - Sonetto (Unicorn) Honestly Sonetto is already a good pony name, but I wanted to give her a name akin to Twilight (There's a few parallels with those two not just in the post above), hence Sonnet Moon with Sonetto being a nickname.

"Captain R3G" Applecore - Regulus (Earth Pony) Applecore was actually the first name I came up with out of anything here because Regulus definately feels like she could be part of the Apple Family, maybe not directly Applejack's lineage though. I actually had a harder time with her nickname (Heavily inspired by Vinyl aka DJ Pon3)

Mistilteinn - Druvis III (Unicorn) She holds a bouquet of mistletoe, mistilteinn is literally just mistletoe... I could not NOT have her named after it. Also that can give her the nickname Mistil which sounds cute and cool!

Southern Breeze - Sotheby (Pegasus) Honestly I mostly picked this cause it was close sounding to Sotheby. Like you could also argue Sotheby could be a nickname because So(u)the(rn) B(r)ee(ze).

Morning Lillies - Lilya (Pegasus) This one also didn't have much thought put into it, just that Yellow = Sun = Morning and Lilya = Lillies and Morning Lillies sounded pony enough.

Bonus characters!

Dikke (who was featured in the post) is Silver Scale (unicorn)

Mr. APPLe is still the same as canon

Mr. Karson is Mr. Carton Box (earth pony) cause it sounds close

Schneider is Orange Blossom (Half Pony Half Changeling(I'll touch on this in a bit!))

Matilda (unicorn) I have no name for yet as well as Madam Z (kirin) and Constantine (maybe Pegasus) (suggestions welcome!)

Arcana is either a Draconequus or Changeling Queen and Forget-me-not is an Earth Pony

Headcanons!

Because of magic shenaniganry after the alicorns disappeared, earth ponies and pegasi can now use magic much like unicorns, but only a few of them. Some unicorns also lost their magic because of this hence a divide in "Normal" ponies and Arcanist ponies.

Applecore is a part of the very large Apple Family and runs Radio APPLe on her ship much like in canon. She also doesn't like people calling her by her real name so she goes Captain, Reg, or Reggy most of the time.

Mr. APPLe is a result of one of Applecore's experimentation in alchemy.

Orange Blossom is the filly of someone from the Orange Family and a Changeling, making her a half pony half changeling hybrid which also gives her minor shape shifting abilities.

being part of the Orange family also means technically Orange Blossom is distantly related to Applecore.

perhaps later on I shall add more but for now this is basically the gist of my ideas. Their cutie marks especially cause I wanna brainstorm what those could be like.

[shanardo13]

Obikin College Au - RA/Don! Obi-Wan/First Year! Anakin - Part Three

Honestly, at this point I should probably just start writing it, but I keep thinking of little ideas for this au and want to keep track of them, so I present to you: Part Three 😈

Link to Part One

Link to Part Two

At this point, they are becoming inseparable - Ahsoka would say insufferable. Both are applicable.

Whenever Anakin has errands to run, he texts Obi-Wan to come with him. Obi-Wan has started to do the same. Now most of their outings involve running errands for each of them.

Anakin: u free? I gotta hit Walmart and get supplies for my project.

Obi-Wan: yeah I’m free. Think u could get it from staples at the mall instead?

Obi-Wan: I wanna go to Sephora and Hot Topic. Need eyeliner and I wanna look at band shirts.

Anakin: omfg 🙄

Anakin: jk jk that sounds perfect! Meet outside subway station in ten?

Obi-Wan: sounds good!

And then they meet in front of the subway station like they planned.

They both bring earbuds to the subway, so really they could listen to their own music, but they never do. Instead they share a pair and sit huddled up together, taking turns picking songs.

They can both be kind of pretentious with music, so they work well together. Despite their differences, they impress each other with their knowledge and love of the same music.

“Anakin, Wings is leagues better than Plastic Ono Band, and anyone who doesn’t think so is just stupid.”

“Oh, McCartney is just bubblegum pop and we both know it, Obi. At least Lennon had substance.”

“Substance abuse issues, maybe.”

“Can we at least agree that Harrison’s work is significantly underrated?”

“Oh definitely. All Things Must Pass is the best post-Beatles solo album in my opinion.”

“Yes! Thank you! Do you want to listen to it?”

When they get to the mall, they immediately head to their favourite little coffee shop in the centre of the food court. Obi-Wan always buys, so Anakin usually makes it up to him by finding him a little gift.

“You just want your regular?”

“Obi-Wan, I’ve told you numerous times. I can afford my own coffee. You don’t have to buy it for me.”

“Shut up, I want to.” He turns to the employee and repeats their drink orders. “And a strawberry danish please!”

They sit in the food court while they drink their beverages and Anakin eats his danish, conversation flowing endlessly. Lots of inside jokes and giggles are shared. Then they continue on with their shopping.

They go to staples first, as Obi-Wan has dubbed it the ‘not-fun’ part of their trip.

“Anakin, you’re getting office supplies for a school project. Boring! Let’s get it out of the way first!”

“Okay, fine.” Anything for you! Literally anything you ask, any time, I would say yes. I’m at your mercy

They grab what Anakin needs at Staples and then head to Sephora.

Obi-Wan spends far too long sifting through various shades of black eyeliner. They all look the same.

“Anakin, which is better? ‘Midnight’ or ‘Jet Black’?” He holds up two pencils.

Anakin studies them. He tries really hard to spot a difference between them and to subsequently make a decision.

“Uhh… I guess, ‘Midnight’ ?” He suggests, pointing to ‘Jet Black’.

Afterwards they head to Hot Topic to look at the band shirts. This has both of them captivated.

“Anakin, it’s buy three get the fourth free. If we each pick two we can get the deal and then just split the cost for the rest.”

“Yes, Obi-Wan, I understand. But what if we each picked four?”

“You don’t need four new shirts!!!”

They settle on each getting two. When Anakin buys Obi-Wan a cool chain necklace with a scorpion on it that he had been eyeing, it’s only as a repayment for the coffee. Nothing else.

When Obi-Wan buys Anakin a pair of dangly sword earrings, it’s only because he thinks they would look really good on Anakin and he’s not too bashful to admit it. He wasn’t going to spend any time thinking about what that might mean.

“Please put them on! They totally suit you!”

“Oh fine!” Anakin obliges. They’re in the washroom after leaving Hot Topic. He puts the earrings on, as Obi-Wan watches him in the mirror.

“See! You look hot, Ani.”

“Oh, fuck off.” He mutters, blushing a fierce red as the two of them maintain eye contact in the mirror. You can’t just say something like that and expect me to be normal about it!

So Anakin walks around the mall, sword earrings proudly on display.

They go to Indigo because Obi-Wan is an English major and is passionate about literature. He wants to buy a book for Anakin to read so they can talk about it.

“I think you’ll really like Slaughterhouse-Five. Vonnegut is a very satirical author, and I think you’ll appreciate his dark sense of humour. Plus, it has science fiction elements! He uses aliens and a warped concept of time to highlight the trauma and impact of war. You’ll love it!”

“It sounds cool! I’ll give it a go!”

Anakin likely would have never picked it up on his own, but the way Obi-Wan’s eyes lit up and the pace of his speech quickened as he spoke with great passion about the novel made it entirely worth reading.

After the mall, they go to the park together. They sit down at a spot under a tree. Obi-Wan leans against the tree. He grabs a journal from his book bag and begins writing in it - just lil poems and thoughts. Definitely not about Anakin.

Anakin stretches out and rests his head on Obi-Wan’s lap. He starts reading the copy of ‘Slaughterhouse-Five’ that Obi-Wan bought for him.

They sit there for a long time in silence, each focusing on their own task but enjoying each others company.

Eventually Obi-Wan stops writing, putting his journal away in his bag.

The sun is starting to set, and as he glances down at Anakin, he notices how it highlights his features.

He notices the warmth of his skin brightened by the light - the gold of his curls enunciated in the glow.

He reaches down and rakes his fingers through the curls as Anakin continues reading.

“Thank you for today. Trips like this mean everything to me.” You mean everything to me.

Anakin stops where he’s reading and folds the corner of the page. Obi-Wan winces - he would never damage a book like that.

Anakin looks up at him, leaning into the fingers in his hair, practically purring. It’s enough to stop Obi-Wan from cursing him for folding the pages of a book.

“Of course, Obi. Things are always more fun with you.” He hums.

Obi-Wan smiles down at him, giving his scalp light scratches. I’m not thinking about kissing him.

“You’re like a little cat.” He ruffles his locks before pulling his hand away. He gives Anakin’s nose a boop.

Anakin huffs and pulls himself into a sitting position so they’re face to face. He stares at Obi-Wan for a moment, a devilish grin spreading across his face.

Suddenly, he stands up, reaching for Obi-Wan’s hand. “C’mon.” He says.

“Oh, what now?” Obi-Wan groans and grabs the offered hand, allowing himself to be pulled up.

“You’re going to buy me ice cream from the stand over there!” Anakin beams, interlocking their fingers and pointing to an ice cream cart in the distance.

Obi-Wan rolls his eyes but can’t control the smile tugging at his lips.

And so they go to the cart. Obi-Wan buys Anakin an ice cream cone. He wouldn’t do it if it didn’t make him happy - or rather, if it didn’t make Anakin happy which in turn made him happy.

As Anakin devours the cone they make their way back to the subway station. Their hands stay intertwined the entire way.

Mindlessly, Obi-Wan rubs his thumb up and down against Anakin’s palm.

All in all, it was quite a perfect day.

I promise at some point I’ll actually start writing this - I can’t promise I won’t post more of these before that though. 😎

[thatdeadaquarius]

OP your addtion about the Harbinger's reaction? Sent me wheezing to the moon 🤣🤣💀

I dont have any additions to Teyvat language yet (other anons have a more in depth explanations while mine is just shitposts wheEZE--) but I did have an idea for a Genshin AU.

I'm pretty sure everybody has heard about the blue alien people Avatar. Tribal people from another planet. (Also I just stumbled upon the forests of Sumeru while going through Chasm quests. The one that has giant mushrooms).

Imagine Genshin in the Avatar Au. Sumeru can be based on the first movie (It fits cause from what I can explore of Sumeru reminds me of the time I watched Avatar of the first time. Pure awe and wonder..) While the Water nation can be based on the 2nd movie, Hoyoverse hasnt released the name of the Water Country yet so we're just waiting. Mondstadt can be based on the upcoming 3rd (4th or 5th? Idk they had it lined up) movie that involves being high above the clouds. Kind of like the Jade palace or the Floating Abode in the serenitea pot.

Its all I could base for now since the other movies dont have that much info yet to be paired with Genshin's countries.

Bonus idea that randomnly popped into my head:

Still going with this Au but its sagau themed. Creator!Reader arrives to Teyvat and is considered as Eywa

NOW THIS

THIS IS AN ✨️IDEA✨️

I just want u to know i feel b l e s s e d that u put this in MY ask box , when this coulda been a whole post of ur own 💖💖🙏🙏

WARNING: So i havent seen the new movie, just the og Avatar one, and i totally loved that concept about Eywa and how their world works so ill refresh myself but if theres any new lore from the 2nd movie i aint got it yet 💁 srry babs

🎵 FROM THE DAY WE ARRIVED ON THE PLANEETTT

AND STEPPED OUT BLINKING INTO THE SUN

AND THE SUN ROSE HIGH IN A SAPPHIRE SKY

ITS THE CIRRRRCCCLLLEEE OF LIFFFFEEEE 🎵

^ except ur like the life itself bc ur god now

Thats why i put that there

This AU radiates that energy

♤

BRO I TOTALLY FORGOT ABT U MENTIONIMG THE COOL CHASM STUFF AND PICKED THAT GIF ALL ON MY OWN

BC I THOUGHT IF ANYTHING LOOKS LIKE EYWA TREE IN GENSHIN ITS THAT BEAUTIFUL MUSHROOM GOD

ANYWAYS-

So I accidentally posted this too early so keep refreshing or coming back bc if theres no "♡the beloveds♡" im still updating this then LMAO

SRRY GUYS

So anon's a genius and i could listen to u talk about this all day

I fucking love combining world building or lore together

Esp like making one the AU or just the setting like u said with Avatar worlds as settings and same characters-

EEEEEE U ARE EYWA- YESSSSS YESSSSSS I AM YOUR GOD BITCHES!!! SUCK ON MY BIG FAT MAN TIDDIES BITCHES RAHHHHH /REF

♧

So they deffo use "Eywa" as a term for you instead of your name

Honestly, before when u were a mysterious af planet creature thing (lets say u get isekaied there i mean)

Nobody rlly knew if u even could take a mortal form or even thought of that as a concept

I feel like the younger generations immortals and Teyvat's current countries kinda think of you Eywa as more of a passive entity life force thing

Rather than the older immortals and creatures that had seen thru eons or over the course of a couple thousand years

That u were very aware and intelligent

Not that ur energy or aura didnt tell them that alone

◇

So a little deeper into the Teyvat lore here but i dont see anybody else talking about it so I will

Originally, it was the Seven Sovriegns and you, and eventually Phanes and their Four Shades,

And they literally all quickly came to realize u literally made this planet and began to start the first traditions of worshipping you!

Like putting gifts or hand made goods at the base

(Ppl have also gotten a tradition from Morax/Rex Lapis and Guizhong and other adepti to leave birthday letters to offer you, which ties into what i say below⬇️)

Ya know,

Eywa the tree could even be a sort of source to the eyes of Teyvat of what you look like while u were playing the game

Like how Eywa's little jellyfish reach ppl in the forest and shit? I think?

So like i would imagine that whatever u make certain vessels or acolytes do most often, is what they think they should offer u :0

◇

Claymore users give u gemstones and ores

Bow users give u hunted game like fowl, or the treasure from puzzles that required arrows (like those bursting blue balloons?)

Catalysts and Polearms give u all kinda of crazy shit lmao

Bc they can be used for a vareity of things

◇

Bc of ur player status and abilities, people of Teyvat attribute a gain in power or talents or whatnot to you, Eywa

So say u actually physically there now, and u just wake up under the coolest sickest tree youve ever seen in ur life

Omg could u imagine????

Seeing Teyvat irl? But AVATAR WORLD IRL???!!!

You would stand there lookin around like a drunk fuck for like 20 minutes, maybe longer lmao

Its just so ✨️pretty✨️ here

Also the tree itself just feels like, the equivalent to ur bedroom basically but like specifically if it was hella comfy and like just the way u want it (all the decor is up, the floor is clean, u got like hot choco on ur desk, theres a candle burning, etc.)

♤

Oh so since ur like weirdly connected to the land, like u know how theres a voice line abt walking in that glowing aranara part of Sumeru and ur steps light up?

I saw that too in the OG avatar movie

So i feel like u would have a map with ALLLLL the peoples on it and little icons

U can focus on just vision users or bosses or big nature things like Dragonspine

◇

Oh so Eywa can control all animals and whatnot and so u as a mortal person can too

So anytime theres a threat u can deadass just become a pokemon trainer LMAO

Ok but think how badass it would be to just like,

Get the Primo Geovishap or Giant Bird Jadeplume Terror thingy to just leave their territory and wipeout some mfs

(coughunknowngodasomodaycough)

It would be fucking amazing

♧

Unrelated to above bc im just spitting out ideas srry guys

but like

I feel like if u were a lifeforce sort of ancient eldritch god for the entire goddamn continent of Teyvat let alone the whole planet-

You would have to maintain said continent/planet

Like, make sure the Irminsul is growing okay, protect from mfs like Dottore,

Stop diasters if ur Eywa too, esp bc u can hear prayers now, and would hear ppl crying out to help them geez

while the prayers of the many kinda just glob together to form the major "feeling" of the prayer for most creatures,

Vision users, gods, ancient creatures u can get their exact sentences

Basically more magic = better heard to connect with u

◇

Oh u know, i could even see it being even more manual or personal labor bc ur not like a tree connected to ur roots thruout the world technically

Like if volcanoes erupt in Natlan, the archon and gods there help and u r also wanted/needed in person for it to work

U would still be powerful, but yeah like say the tree was u just playing genshin before,

The game automatically regulated diasters and stuff other than what was supposed to happen in game

◇

So kinda bouncing off that I read smwhere that the Na'vi dont actually view Eywa as like omnipotent or omniscient

(like the God™️ from the Christian bible for a example of what your not)

And also! Dont blame/attribute natural diasters, plagues, or other bad stuff on Eywa

So good for you whew 💦

Ur actually supposed to kinda just be the collective lifeforce or Teyvat/world and nature, and a defender and guide of life :0

Which kinda fits with the whole "upgrading characters" thing actually

◇

Okay but I saw somewhere in SAGAU tag someone did another name instead of Creator to spice it up and its "All-Mother"

And interestingly, Eywa in Avatar is also called that and "Great Mother"!!

How fun :0

Also, the reason Eywa still got people with free-will is bc they kinda described the relationship to Eywa being something like a mother or parent

Maybe where name/titles came from ig?

Either way, ppl be calling u all types of nicknames u aint heard before lmao

I mean ur sacred, they dont just say ur name,

Nobody knows ur real name or what u call yourself

Just what they call u

Bc they couldnt communicate with u super well before, (the bday letters were the closest they got verbally, and even then they had to be addressed somewhat to ur first vessel the traveler to get thru/be seen)

Otherwise yeah u operating them lets say before on Earth you rlly felt like an eldritch nature deity 💀

Cause u guide them in battles, strengthen their talents and skills and bodies, and feed them food

If they were in battle like needing healing food, u help them heal by consuming it for them so they dont have to take a snack break in battle and

Let me tell u, these denizens of Teyvat who have to constantly deal with magic and monsters and abyss stuff, so a stroll outside ur house gets u in a fight...

...They are very grateful for that needless to say.

Plus i like to think u make fighting easier on them bc ur "guiding" their bodies

◇

Anyway thats a long winded way to say, help me think of all the names Teyvat's given you lmao:

Eywa

All-Mother / Great Mother

All-Father / Great Father

All-Parent? / Great Parent

Creator

Their Grace

Great Puppeteer

The Puppeteer

Soul of Teyvat

Greatest Soul

☆

She aint long bc im not that creative and this idea has sm potential too😔

I would love to be Eywa sounds fun and powerful af and i dont get expected to be Jesus and they know i dont cause the natural diasters, like that sounds nice

Aight im no genius and this writing feels like im just rambling like a drunk guy sittin on the sidewalk mumbling to myself, i had to stop writing 💀

Like that energy specifically-

So lmk if yall got any other cool titles or names :0

I couldn't think of anymore :/

Also srry about the updating this post and making u check back in if u already read this before i put the taglist

(Me putting the taglist means im done editing/writing this dw if u seein this)

Cheers,

🌒🌧🌊Aquarius♒️🌌🌘

♡my beloveds♡

@karmawonders / @0rah-s / @randomnatics / @glxssynarvi / @nexylaza / @genshin-impacts-me / @wholesomey-artist

[yakultii]

@alwayschasingrainbows hi hi thank you sm for all the questions <33 I appreciate u sm ik u accidentally asked on my main but I’m gonna answer them here :))) also thank you for sending ur own answers too I loved reading them and learning more about you and found them super interesting!!!!! <3

1. What is your favourite childhood movie and why?

Strangely I’d never been big on movies or tv as a kid or even now (I want to get more into it now but my adhd still says no) my mum even told me that when I was young she could sit my brothers in front of the tv to be entertained but not me, I’d lose interest hella quickly… probs the first time I got into anything tv related was when I was 10-12 and was invested in the drama of the tv series “dance academy” on abc3 Ive actually met the producer! other than that I didn’t mind a reality show as a kid but then most of that wore off after I studied media in school and we went as live audience to “reality” shows and I realised how set up everything was and couldn’t care less afterward -

If I had to pick any movie that I loved and that still strangely brings me some sort of comfort.. it would have to be the 2010 Jaden Smith Version of Karate Kid ahahaha idk why (well I kinda do there’s lots of reasons but then I’d go on another whole tangent so I won’t) I was like 11 when it came out so I think that can count :) I can weirdly watch it over and over whereas most other movies I watch once and never again.

2. Do you have a favourite book or book series and why?

I talked about this in some previous posts on here but my fav book of all time is “Eleanor Oliphant is Completely Fine” by Gail Honeyman !!!!! I also am very passionate about “The uncaged sky: my 804 days in an Iranian Prison” by Kylie Moore-Gilbert (the audiobook version narrated by Kylie herself) and fav wholesome series has gotta be the Heartstopper graphic novels!!!! AHAHA again I could go on and on and on about why I love them all individually as they are all VERY DIFFERENT from each other, but I’ll literally be writing like 3 giant essays so I’ll stop myself now!! I will say, while it’s important we consume and love media that we don’t relate to to broaden our perspectives of life, it’s obviously easy to consume and love media that we see a small part of ourselves in and think this has a lot to do with why I love these so much!

3. The colour that makes you happy

Probably a dark green which reminds me of the rainforest:))))

4. Your favourite cereal?

I honestly don’t eat cereal and never really have :,) cereals were kinda demonised in my house as a child (almond mum tings?) but then eventually they weren’t anymore but I never rlly enjoyed their taste - this is such a sad answer but probably Kelloggs sultans bran LMAO. I haven’t had it for years but I rlly don’t mind it … I think it’s probably very different to American cereals cause it’s not sweet … one time I went to an American food store here in Aus and everything I tried taste like pure sugar and hurt my stomach so bad LOL never again I’m hoping and praying that Americans have other food options not featured in this store 😭 cos I understand some of it as a one off dessert but like everyday breakfast omg noooo I hope ur stomachs are ok

5. Your favourite gemstone?

I’m ngl I don’t have a super passionate answer about this one off the top of my head (sorry I’m such a boring person!!) I think they’re all so pretty!!! I gave them a google to try decide which I like most but it’s impossible .. I think I love any of the blue ones!! I’ll tell you one thing I rlly don’t love the yellow topaz cos I’m born in Nov and I see it on everything and I swear it’s the worst one imo like liteeally any other one I love! But I can still appreciate it ig :,)

6. Any activity you liked as a child and do you still like it now?

My biggest pain as a child was athletics!!!! I used to be competitive in 100m, 200m, long jump and triple jump :) sadly I no longer do athletics or compete but my passion for running/competitiveness lived on and by 15 I ran my first half marathon.. but from 17 onwards I got quite sick and was unable to run (minus a few little months of getting back into it over the yrs only to have to stop again) and now I’m 24 and finally getting back into it again.. kinda.. cos my health is still kinda shit but I’ll go for a lot shorter runs a couple times a week and hoping and praying my health gets better so I can proper get back into it.. not to compete anymore just for myself cos it’s one of the only things in this life that brings me joy :) I’ve also always loved taking photos although I’m not professional or anything it’s just been a fun little hobby I guess.. I have a few diff cameras but in currently trying (failing) to save for this new different one.. just waiting for my uni scholarship money this tri bc I’m too unwell to use it to go on a holiday atm I’m gonna use it to buy this camera I’ve been wanting oop :,) I’m a much bigger a fan of film photography over digital but the camera I’m planning on buying is kinda a combo of both eg. It produces images of a similar vibe to film photography but is actually digital so u don’t have to worry about wasting film :) it’s also a point and shoot, super small and can be taken anywhere which is much better than my current digital camera which is bulky and has a million settings idk how to use lol.

7. Have you ever read Lucy Maud Montgomery books?

I was about to say no I’ve never heard of her but then I googled it and saw Anne of Green Gables which I read when I was like literally 8… and as I’ve said in a previous post I never remember what I’ve read even if I read it two minutes ago bc adhd tings but I always remember how it made me feel - and I remember really enjoying it! Maybe I should give it a reread cause I barely remember what it was about :,) as for the rest of her books I don’t think I’ve read any! I love so much that you have a fandom page omgggg I wish I was that passionate about something !!!! PLS PLS give me recommendations if someone were only to read 1 of her books .. okay maybe 2 for now!!!!! I might actually give them a read :)))

Thank you thank you again for all ur kinds words I hope u have the most amazing day/night <33333 I appreciate u a lot!

[btsgotjams27]

this is us ~ jjk | 10

jungkook finally admits what’s been on his mind.

✨ title: this is us | (sequel to all grown up) ✨ pairing: jungkook x f!reader | ✨ rating: m/18+ | minors dni ✨ genre/au: drama, romance, angst, fluff, smut | est!relationship, age gap, bff's younger brother ✨ playlist ✨ a/n: if you haven’t read the prequel to this, please do so here! :) you can read them here on AO3 & Wattpad

[ SERIES MASTERLIST ] | next ✨ 11 ~ the call

chapter ten ~ a blast from the past: part three | wc: 10.3k warnings: mentions of dick pics, language, reader catches up with an old flame, Alex is a menace again, reader slaps Alex, angst, angst, hard conversations, tears, tears and more tears

The following day, you received a random text while checking your phone. Staring at it for a while, debating on what to reply.

Jungkook was still in the shower, singing beautifully at the top of his lungs. You immensely missed his singing voice.

Imma leave the door open (imma leave the door open)

Imma leave the door open girl (imma leave the door open, hoping)

That you feel the way I feel

And you want me like I want you tonight, baby

You giggled at his passion. You imagined him with bubbles in his hair, holding onto the shampoo bottle, like he was putting on a private show for himself.

La-la-la, la-la-la-la (I need you, baby).

He continued humming the rest of the song before shutting off the water, which snapped you back to reality, remembering to respond to the text you received.

When he walked into the bedroom, he was still indistinctly singing away, flashing a smile when he saw you sitting with crazy bedhead hair.

God, he looked so good after a shower. It was something you'd never be over.

"Morning..." you said coyly, trying not to sound weird about what you would tell him, but he could tell something was up.

"Hi..." Jungkook remarked with a cocked eyebrow, sliding open the closet door and grabbing a navy blue crewneck sweater.

"So...my ex-boyfriend texted me," you said sheepishly, avoiding his gaze.

"U-jin?!" his eyes widened, the towel on his waist nearly slipping from his hand. "That jerk?! I'll beat his ass."

You waved your hand, indicating a hell no. "No, not him. Gross. The one before him."

"Baby...how many boyfriends did you have before me?" he joked.

Honestly, he didn't care. You could have had a string of guys, but he wanted to be your last - hopefully.

"Stop--I didn't have that many...Kenji is an ex from college."

You never needed to explain your past to Jungkook, nor did he bother to ask. You'd tell him if he was curious. You were an open book with nothing to hide - well, about men, at least.

"...what about him?" he asked, not caring now that he knew it wasn't U-jin. Then he went back to picking out his outfit for work.

"He said he wanted to catch up."

It was so out of the blue that even you were intrigued by his text. And you were clearly in love with Jungkook, so you didn't see any reason why it would be wrong to see him after all these years.

"Oh, okay," he shrugged. "Go for it."

Your eyebrow quirked up. "You're fine with it?" You thought there would be a bit more pushback from him. You were sad that there wasn't even an ounce of curiosity or jealousy about Kenji.

He smiled. "Why wouldn't I be?"

"You're not jealous or anything?"

He chuckled, setting his sweater down on the bed and making his way over to you. "Do you want me to be jealous?"

Jungkook was jealous, alright. An ex wanting to "catch up"? But he was hardly able to say anything to you about exes.

You smiled abashedly. "No...I'm glad you trust me."

Jungkook tucked his towel to secure it. Then he cupped your face. "I love you," placing a kiss on your lips, "I trust you. I know I have nothing to worry about."

It's him that you need to worry about.

"I love you too."

"...so, what does he look like?"

You laughed. You knew something was up with Jungkook, that he wouldn't just let you slide that easy.

You started to ramble, "Oh my god, he's the best sex I ever had, he had the biggest dick I've ever seen, and he made me come ten times in one night---"

"Yah--yah! Now, I know you're lying! Ten times in one night? What is he, a psycho?!" Jungkook cried.

Scrolling through your phone, you pretend to look for non-existent photos. "Here, I'll show you dick pics. It's fucking huge," you teased again just to see his reaction.

Jungkook sat down, trying to steal your phone, but you held it out of reach. "Yah! Yah! The only dick pics you need are mine."

Jungkook insisted on driving you to your meeting with Kenji, probably to try and get a glimpse of him or something, but you didn't mind.

"So, what's he like?" Jungkook asked meekly, eyes on the road in front of him.

"Who? Kenji?"

He hummed.

"In college, he was such a babe. He was also sweet and caring but always haunted by his past. He didn't have the best home life, you know?" you paused, "And so, we kind of bonded over that."

"Why did you guys break up?"

"He cheated on me with an actress he was working with," you shrugged. It happened so long ago that you didn't care much because you were different back then. "Guess I wasn't the muse he was looking for," you chuckled lightly.

Jungkook mouthed an oh. Fuck, he thought. This Kenji guy cheated on you too?

You leaned over, kissing Jungkook, opening the car door as he dropped you off in front of the breakfast spot. He rolled down his window, calling out to you, "Baby."

"Yes, boyfriend?"

"Can we talk later?"

Your expression softened, "Of course." You wondered when he would be ready to say what was on his mind. You mumbled, 'I love you,' before turning around.

"Baby," Jungkook called out again. You turned back, eyebrows quirked, humming in response. "Behave," he teased.

You chuckled, shaking your head, holding out your pinky, linking it to his. "Promise."

It's been ten years since you last saw your ex-boyfriend, Kenji. You'd consider him your first love. He was a few years older than you and working towards becoming a writer/director, so the two of you had much in common.

He was charming, gorgeous, and overall a beautiful human, but he was a tormented soul, and it came out in his writing and films. He was the definition of a bad boy with the worst habits, though you wouldn't think so when you first set your eyes on him. A bit surprising now to look back and see you with this type of guy, and no one would peg you falling for someone like him.

When you got to the restaurant, you recognized him instantly, and it looked like he had already started the party without you.

You rolled your eyes, walking over to the table. "Having fun already?"

The table was filled with a few bottles of wine and champagne glasses; it was only nine in the morning. He reeked of cigarettes, which you always hated, but he still looked so good after all these years.

 When he found your eyes, a tiny flicker of butterflies suddenly found its way into your stomach, and it seemed like you had stepped back in time to the 23-year-old you.

He stood up and greeted you with a kiss on the cheek and a hug. "Ugh, I've missed you so much." He held your hands, pulling away to get a better look, shifting his gaze to you, raking from head to toe. "Mm..."

You hit him on the arm, urging him to stop his thoughts of trying to get back together. "Kenji--I have a boyfriend. Behave yourself." You needed to clarify if he had other things on his mind.

Kenji groaned. "What a lucky man, then. I'm so jealous of whoever he is." He smirked, gesturing for you to sit in the seat across from him. "You look so good, baby."

You rolled your eyes again. "What did I just say? Hmm?" you said, placing your purse next to you.

He threw up his hands. "Okay, okay, okay. I'll stop."

You shook your head, smiling to yourself. He was always like this - flirty, suave, cheeky. One of the many ways he swept you off of your feet.

After a few glasses of wine in the early morning and chit-chatting about life, you wanted to understand why he contacted you. He kept rambling on and on about an actress that he was working with, but you interrupted.

"Kenji, why did you ask me to come here today? I know you, and you always have something up your sleeve."

"I can't get anything past you, huh?"

You shook your head. "Well, go on..."

Kenji cleared his throat. "Someone passed your script along to me and asked if I wanted to be a part of the project."

Oh. You definitely were not expecting to hear that from him. "And you're here to ask for my permission?"

He nodded. "I know when we parted ways, we promised not to be involved in each other's lives even if they happen to cross, but I love your script, and it would be an honor to work with you."

You were taken aback by his compliment. You knew it took a lot for Kenji to compliment anyone's work, especially yours.

"What do you say, baby?"

You glared at the pet name. "How long do I have to think about it?"

"A week. If you don't say yes to me, then they're considering Choi Won-shik. I think he showed interest too."

You cringed at the name because he was the worst director to work with possibly. You'd heard horror stories from other writers and actors. At this point, Kenji was the better option.

"Well, you have my number, and I hope you say yes."

While breakfast was over, you stood outside the restaurant with Kenji, the both of you waiting for your taxis.

Your eyes flickered to his. "Why?"

Kenji laughed. "Why what? Why did I pick your script?"

You hummed.

"Because you're brilliant, I was drawn to the characters. They're so flawed, tragic, passionate, and so in love, it makes me sick."

You scoffed. "You're making fun of me, huh? Because you hate all that stuff."

He shook his head, holding out his left hand, showing off his wedding ring.

"You got married."

Huh? You wouldn't have pegged him to be the kind of guy to settle down.

"I'm off the market. Got two kids too."

"I'm happy for you, Kenji. You deserve it."

"Thanks, baby--" you glared at him again, "Sorry, habit. And what about you and your boyfriend? Gonna tie the knot any time soon?"

"Me and Jungkook?"

Obviously, the two of you had been together long enough that the thought crept up and lingered on your mind way too often, but who knows what the future holds?

"Mm, I don't know, maybe one day."

Kenji's expression softened. "You deserve to be happy too. I'm serious bab--sorry, " he cleared his throat, hoping his accidental pet names wouldn't hinder your decision, "Please think about it. You know we'd be unstoppable together."

Jungkook wanted to avoid work like the plague, but there was no way out, not when the new game was in its beginning stages of production.

He closed his office door, fearing Alex could walk in at any moment and start her shenanigans again. He couldn't have a repeat of the night at karaoke. Jungkook was already beating himself up every second that he was awake. He couldn't bear the thought of facing you, but he knew he'd have to eventually. It was eating him up, keeping this secret from you, but he could already see the outcome of it.

And as Jungkook expected, he peered up from his screen to find Alex standing outside his office, quietly knocking, waiting to see if he'd be willing to see her. He quickly averted his eyes back to his screen, but as Alex does what she does best, she comes in anyway.

He sighed. "Why are you here?" he asked, crossing his arms and leaning back into his chair.

Alex timidly walked in his direction. "Can I sit? In the chair, of course."

Jungkook rolled his eyes, remembering how she sat in his lap the other day. "You're just going to sit wherever you want anyway."

She decided to stop playing games with him and sat in the chair facing his desk. "I'm sure you already heard about the lead game developer position at the new headquarters in LA."

He shrugged. "Yeah, so. What about it?"

"I'm here to convince you to take it."

Jungkook scoffed. "And why would I do that?"

Alex leaned forward. "Because...you're the best person for the job, Kook."

He went back to clicking around on his computer screen, even though he had already answered all his emails and tasks for the morning. There was no way in hell he'd leave, especially if Alex had anything to do with it. He didn't want anything to do with her after the stunt she pulled.

Alex stood up from the chair. She kept her distance because she knew he was probably still worked up from the other night. And she was right, hence him rolling back a bit in his office chair.

"Jungkook...I'm sorry about what happened at karaoke. I...don't know what came over me. You were uncomfortable, and I should have stopped."

He glared at her. Should he believe her apology? When has she ever done anything without it benefitting her?

"It's just that I hadn't seen you in so long, and I missed you, and everything we had while in college came flooding back...and then when Jin told me you were going to bring your girlfriend, I'll admit. I was jealous because she was getting the new and improved Jungkook."

He scoffed and shook his head at her sad attempt to justify her actions. She could have handled it like a grown adult instead of a childish ex-girlfriend or whatever she was. "So you knew I had a girlfriend? And you still did what you did?"

"I'm not perfect, Jungkook. You know that by now."

Still, it was no excuse, he thought. But he also wasn't in the clear either. He still touched her, kissed her, and thought about her too much these past few days.

"Don't pass up this opportunity because of me. You were given the 'Rising Star award for a reason Kook." She took a step back, giving him space to hopefully think about the job offer. She stood up and started to walk towards the door. While holding it open, she stopped and glanced back at him. "Promise me you'll think about it, okay?"

He didn't respond, quickly peering up and then back at his computer screen.

After she was gone, Jungkook exhaled a big breath, one he didn't know he was holding in.

Leave for a job in LA? No way, he thought. His life was in Seoul with you, his sister, and an upcoming niece or nephew. Those were the things he was looking forward to. But as the inevitable conversation that needed to happen was coming up, the things Jungkook was looking forward to were becoming desolate.

Catching up with Kenji was fun. It was nice to see a familiar face. But throughout the day, you couldn't stop thinking about his offer. Kenji is an obvious genius but would you be able to work professionally with your ex? People did it all the time, as you saw happen plenty of times while working in the entertainment industry. His offer was irresistible, considering the alternative director who wanted your project.

"Hey, can we talk?" Jungkook blurted as soon as you walked through the door. He was pacing back and forth, impatiently waiting for you. He had left work early because he needed to come home and prep himself for the most significant conversation the two of you would have.

"Hi. Hello, it's nice to see you too," you teased before setting your bag down and taking off your shoes. You didn't expect him to want to talk to you right as soon as you walked in the door.

Jungkook walked over, pressing a kiss on your lips before apologizing for being so abrupt just a moment ago. But he couldn't wait any longer, and keeping this secret from you was eating him up.

"What's up? Are you breaking up with me or something because I met up with my ex?" you asked teasingly.

Jungkook let out a half-hearted chuckle, knowing after what he was about to tell you that you might never want to talk to him again or, worse, break up with him.

"No, no...that's not it." He took your hand, pulling you over to the couch, and his appearance became somber, which twisted your expression.

"What's wrong? You're scaring me." Your eyes looked at his, searching for an answer, but it was hard to tell what he was thinking. It's been like that these past few days.

He shook his head, shifting his position on the couch to make himself more comfortable. His lips began quivering as he tried to get the words to tell you what's been going on with him. He kept shifting towards you, then away from you, repeating a few times. Jungkook brought your hand and set it on top of his, gently caressing it, letting him know it was okay - that whatever he needed to say would all be okay.

Jungkook inhaled a few deep breaths, closing his eyes and trying his best to ready himself for this conversation. He loudly cleared his throat, mustering the courage to spit it out finally. "You remember when I went out to karaoke with Jin-hyung and invited you, but you couldn't make it?"

"Yeah," you said with a smile, "...what about it? Did you do something you regret? Like pick the wrong song?" you joked with him.

"Baby...I'm being serious here."

"Ah--okay, sorry," you held your hands up, telling him you'll stop, "Go on. I'm all ears."

"Well...we took a colleague out to karaoke because they've never been to Seoul and wanted to show them a good time."

"Right..."

"And the colleague just happens to be my ex-girlfriend from college."

You tilted your head, briefly remembering the name in the text - Alex. You supposed that name could be unisex. You automatically assumed it was a guy, but it was a girl who happened to be Jungkook's ex-girlfriend. You didn't say anything and just mouthed an 'oh.'

You should have gone to karaoke.

"She suddenly showed up at my workplace out of nowhere, and I didn't even know she worked for our company, and you know...Jin-hyung being Jin-hyung, he invited her out to karaoke, again wanting to show her a good time in Seoul, and that's why I asked if you wanted to go out. Then you texted back saying you couldn't make it, and then---" he speedily said all this before stopping.

"And then what?" you asked as your eyebrows drew together in confusion.

Jungkook lowered his head. He didn't want to say the next part, but he knew he had to.

"And then what, Jungkook?" you asked again with a firmer tone.

He couldn't even look you in the eye, so you felt whatever he had to say wasn't good. Jungkook licked his lips, bringing his hand to cover his mouth, before groaning. He was in pure agony over the following few words he'd have to spit out.

But you almost didn't want to hear what Jungkook had to say because you didn't want your illusion of him being the perfect boyfriend to be destroyed.

So you did it for him. "Did you kiss her?" It was the only logical thing you could think of to make Jungkook so scared of sharing his feelings these past few days, and it would explain his behavior.

Fuck. It hurt even to ask that question, and this was like Kenji and U-jin all over again.

The silence in the air was deafening.

"She--she cornered me, and I don't know what happened, but I just kind of froze," he paused for a beat, "and then I touched her."

You felt like the silence in the room was mocking you, laughing in your face. It was as if there wasn't enough shit being piled on top of your life. The world said, "hey, you can handle one more shitty thing, can't you?" You didn't know if you were dreaming or if this was all a prank that life was pulling on you.

She cornered him? Is Jungkook putting the blame on her right now?

You looked around the room, then back at Jungkook and your heart sank to the pit of your stomach. He touched her? Where? You didn't even wanna go there, but your mind already did.

And he just froze? How does someone freeze up in a moment like that? Jungkook must be twice her size, and something wasn't connecting.

"Say something," Jungkook muttered quietly while trying to gauge your reaction.

Honestly, you were shocked, trying to wrap your mind around what he had just told you. "Tell me again. Tell me what happened again."

Jungkook frowned. He didn't want to and didn't want to recount the shitty thing he didn't stop from happening. The guilt had been eating away at him for days, so much so that he could barely keep any food down. This was the last thing he ever wanted to happen.

He chewed on his bottom lip before recounting what happened between him and Alex. Even though he repeated the story more clearly and concisely. The only thing you felt was a deep ache in your heart.

This is what you were afraid of - history repeating itself.

He stared at you, studying your face, wondering when you let go of his hand and if he should retake it, but he decided against it. "Baby..."

You grunted at him, not returning his gaze, instead staring at a dust bunny that collected underneath your coffee table. You couldn't dare look at him now for fear of bursting into tears.

He reached up, cupping your cheek, gently caressing it, making you turn to him. Jungkook saw your lips trembling, tears threatening to fall from the corners of your eyes. You were biting the inside of your cheeks to stop yourself from making an agonizing cry.

Of all people, you never thought Jungkook would ever be the one to hurt you. You'd thought it would be the other way around, and there was still time for that.

Neither of you was perfect, and it may be time to stop putting Jungkook on a pedestal. Just because he treated you better than your previous boyfriends doesn't mean you wouldn't disappoint each other at one point.

"What's going on? What's on your mind? Please talk to me."

Jungkook was desperate. Desperate to hear anything from you at this point. Even if it would hurt to hear that you hated him, he'd rather hear that than say that you didn't want to be with him.

"Kenji. U-jin. Jungkook. You know what they all have in common?"

He looked at you with remorse in his eyes. It stung Jungkook to hear you mention your exes' names in the same sentence as his. He didn't want to be compared to them, and he knew he was better than them, or so he thought. He shook his head no, clenching his jaw, unsure of what you'd say, though he had an inkling feeling.

"You're all the same," you confessed. You knew it was unfair to compare Jungkook to Kenji and U-jin. It was hard not to when you kept choosing men who continued to crave attention from other people who were not you.

Jungkook shook his head. "No, no. I'm not like your exes."

You scoffed. "Either you're all the same, or there's something wrong with me. Take your pick," your eyes began to glisten, your voice going up an octave. "Why else would the three guys I've been with all cheat on me?... That's it, isn't it? It's me. What else could it possibly be?" you repeatedly nodded, starting to believe it was you after all.

It hit him like a ton of bricks, but he figured you were implying that he cheated on you. The line was blurry to him, a gray area, and he didn't consider it cheating. But he now understood your definition of it.

"But I didn't---"

"Didn't what, Jungkook? Feel her up?" You jerked away from his embrace, leaving space in between.

"She made me---"

Your eyes widened. "Alex didn't make you do anything you didn't want to," voice raised just a smidge. You couldn't believe him, shifting the blame back on her.

He could've stopped her, but he didn't. He let it happen, and he'll never forgive himself for it.

"I'm sorry-"

"Is--is that why you fucked me like a madman the other night?"

Your mind wandered back, your heart pounding at the thought of Jungkook touching someone else just before fucking you.

His silence spoke volumes. He didn't need to say anymore to prove that you were right.

"I gotta go, Kook. I can't be in the same room as you right now," you said. Your lungs were filled to their capacity, and the breaths in your throat caught as you took small gasps of air, trying your best to suck up any signs of crying.

Rushing to the door, slipping on your shoes and coat, you grabbed your keys when Jungkook called out to you and tried to stop you from leaving, but you argued for him to let you go or else you'd scream.

After slamming the door closed, Jungkook cried, falling to the floor and punching the ground before him. He debated if he should run after you and try to talk to you, but maybe the two of you needed space to calm down and think clearly because, right now, all emotions were clouding both of your judgments.

You sat outside of Yuna's for thirty minutes, silently sobbing into the crook of your arm. You could hear a few passersby whispering, but their opinions of you didn't matter - nothing did at the moment. It felt like nothing could mend the heartache you felt.

Feeling desolate and hopeless about everything happening in your life, your first instinct was to hide - to run away, but you knew that wouldn't solve anything. Instead, you went to the one person who was like home to you.

Staring at the name on the screen, you finally mustered up the courage to press the dial button.

"Yuna." You heard a soft groan from the other end of the call. "Sorry, babe, did I wake you?"

"Mm, I'm up. What's going on?"

"Can I come up? I'm outside of your place."

Yuna began shuffling from under the covers. "Everything okay?"

"I'll tell you when I get there."

Quietly, you knocked on her door, and when she opened it, she found you with mascara running, a reddened nose with sniffles, and the saddest smile she's ever seen on you.

She gasped, holding her arms for you, pulling you into an embrace, cradling you as a mother would. Her baby bump was beginning to show, so you made sure to be gentle when hugging her.

The two of you sat on her couch. You lay in her lap near her belly, arms wrapped around her as she gently caressed your hair. She didn't ask you anything. She just sat there, ready when you were.

You stared blankly through her window, watching the city lights twinkle away like nothing was wrong, but that was hardly the case for you. Everything was wrong.

Finally, you sat up, leaning back against the leather couch and turning to Yuna. "Make me a promise."

She nodded. "Yeah, of course, anything."

You sighed. "Promise me you won't kill your brother."

Her eyes widened, giving you a 'what did he do this time' look. She straightened, clearing her throat. She'd wait for you to explain before she went on full blast.

"Why would I kill my brother? I mean, I can name a million reasons, but please don't tell me he did something stupid."

You hesitated to tell her, switching between licking your lips and biting the inside of your cheek, a nervous habit you came to have. She stared blankly, waiting for you to continue.

There could only be one of two reactions: Yuna would calmly and rationally think about what you just told her, or she would go ballistic and throw something. Your money was on the latter.

"Jungkook kissed his ex-girlfriend," you could already see Yuna getting worked up, her chest heaving, smoke fuming from her ears, but you stopped her because you weren't done. "And, he also felt her up."

"That little motherfucker! I'm going to kill him!"

"You just said you wouldn't kill him."

"Well, I lied!" Yuna proceeded to get up, but with a baby growing in her belly, it was taking a toll on her physically. She used the armrest to push herself off, rushing to her room. "Joonie!" she cried out for Namjoon.

You stood, peering in the direction of her room. "Yu--Yuna! What are you doing?"

"Joonie! Wake up!" she cried out again, holding a sweater, reappearing from her bedroom. "Namjoon is going to hold Jungkook down while I kick my brother in the balls!" she said. "And he can't do anything to me because I'm pregnant."

Namjoon woke up, hair all disheveled, rubbing his eyes, completely confused by all the commotion. "What's going on?"

"We're going to go kill my brother," Yuna deadpanned.

You'd never seen your best friend this serious before.

Namjoon hadn't realized you were also standing in the middle of their living room. He abashedly covered his chest with his hands, walking over to his wife. "What?" he asked, gritting through his teeth.

"Yuna, stop. Please. It's late, and you're pregnant. Namjoon, go back to bed. Your wife is being irrational."

"Explain to me how you're the rational one right now. And how you're not strangling my brother?"

"Trust me. No one wants to strangle him more than I do, but Yuna, come on, sit down."

Namjoon cleared his throat. "Well, uh, if you guys don't need me, then I'm going back to bed."

Yuna sat on the couch, grabbing a pillow and shrieking into it before looking at you. "I hate him. Wha--what possible excuse could he have given you for doing what he did?"

You shrugged. "You remember how you felt when you saw Danny after all those years?" Yuna nodded. "And all the emotions you had when you were with him? How everything just comes flooding back to you? And somehow you feel like you're the exact age when you were with them?"

Yuna hummed. "So? That's no excuse for kissing an ex or feeling them up. Are you trying to justify what he did?"

You shook your head. "No, I'm not. I'm just trying to put myself in his shoes. Because... because I also saw an ex today."

"I'm sorry, what?" Yuna's eyes bugged out. "You saw U-jin?"

"No...why does everyone think I'd see his sorry ass again. No, I saw Kenji."

"Kenji?! Like your first love Kenji? You didn't kiss him or grab his dick or anything, did you?"

"What? Yuna, no. We talked about work stuff. You know how he's a director, and he came across my script. He asked if I'd be willing to work with him."

"And what did you say?"

"I told him I'd think about it."

"Geez...first Jungkook's ex, and now yours? Who's next?" Yuna ran her hands through her hair, "I still want to kill him, by the way. He's lucky I'm pregnant."

The two of you let out a half-hearted laugh.

"So, what are you gonna do now?" Yuna asked. You shrugged, pulling her in for a hug. She laid against your chest, wrapping her arms around you.

That was the big question, wasn't it?

Honestly, you didn't know the answer. Your head and your heart was at war with one another. The obvious answer whenever someone cheats is to leave, for fear of it happening again, but Jungkook wasn't just anyone.

You hadn't verbalized it yet, not even to Jungkook  - to simply put it. He had unexpectedly become the love of your life. You didn't know if anyone could ever top him.

With Kenji and U-jin, it was a no-brainer to leave, except that wasn't the case with Jungkook. You were completely head over heels in love with this man. Even dreaming of a future with him, whatever it may look like.

"I'm not opposed to kicking him in the balls," you said, letting out a sad chuckle, tears threatening to fall again. "I love him, Yuna. I love him so much that my heart hurts. I've never felt this way about anyone, but why is it that this one hurts so much more than any other heartache I've had before? I need someone to physically rip my heart out because I don't want to feel this deep pain, this deep groaning inside my body. I want to scream and sob and punch a wall all at the same time," you said shakily, wiping away the tears falling from the corners of your eyes. "Because honestly, I don't know what to do. Please tell me what I should do."

Yuna looked up at you, shifting into a sitting position, holding you again, cradling your face against the crook of her neck, softly shushing you. "I don't know, but whatever you decide, just know I'll fully support you one hundred percent."

Before returning to your place, you asked Yuna if Jungkook was still at home or had returned to his apartment. You didn't know if you could face seeing Jungkook again without crying, and he said he wanted to stay at yours until you returned so the two of you could work things out. It would take more than just one conversation to get through this.

"Just stay here tonight, then. Knowing Kook, he'll wait up all night."

Yuna texted her brother, letting him know the plan in case he would wait until you come back.

And so, you did. You stayed at Yuna and Namjoon's, trying to figure out your emotions, what to say, and how the two of you could move on, if you could even do so. The thought of not having Jungkook in your life almost felt unbearable. Yuna and Jungkook are all you've known your whole life, and the possibility of Jungkook not being in it anymore was like not being able to breathe.

You knew the risks of getting involved with Jungkook, but now you were beginning to wonder if it was worth it. You had no one to blame but yourself. Maybe it would have been better if the two of you were just friends, but how could you ever be friends with Jungkook? Even if you decided to part ways, you would always be in each other's lives because of Yuna. It would be a matter of if you could handle being in his life without being a part of it.

Your stomach twisted and turned at the thought of seeing him with someone else who wasn't you, someone else making him happy, making him laugh and moan their name.

As much as you tried to sleep, your mind wouldn't let you. It only led you further down a rabbit hole too deep you couldn't dig yourself out of.

The following day, you figured you'd overstayed your welcome. You were beyond grateful for their hospitality, but it was time to face reality. Yuna was still asleep when you were ready to leave. You found Namjoon sitting at the dining table with a coffee mug and the newest book he indulged in.

"Hey Namjoon, thanks for letting me crash here last night."

He beamed a warm smile. "You're welcome anytime. You know that, right?"

You nodded. "Well, I should head out. Say bye to Yuna for me?"

Namjoon cleared his throat. "Wait," he said, his hand reaching out mid-air. Quickly, you turned back. "I know you and Jungkook are going through a rough time, and it's not my place to tell you what to do. And please don't think I'm trying to defend Jungkook's actions, but I've never seen the two of you so happy before, and I'm rooting for you guys."

A tremulous smile was on your face. "Thanks, Namjoon. I really appreciate you and Yuna. You both mean so much to me, and I don't know what I'd do without you."

His eyes nervously flit to his book and then back to you. "Let us know if you need anything. We're here for you."

You had hoped that Jungkook was at work when you returned to your apartment. You weren't ready to face him and the impending follow-up conversation the two of you needed to have.

Quietly unlocking your door, you peeked in to see if there were any signs of Jungkook. Your eyes peered around before fully entering.

"Hello? Jungkookie?" you announced, but there was no answer.

Walking towards your kitchen, there was a note on the counter.

Hey baby. Missed you last night. Gonna be stuck at work all day. See you tonight? Love you.

You loved his handwritten notes, he could easily text you, but you appreciate the time he'd take to write them out.

He had left the apartment spotless like he usually does. Dishes were washed and put away, and no clothes anywhere except hanging. Even the semi-sad plants were beginning to blossom.

Heading to the bathroom to check out the mess on your face, you wiped the black mascara that was evidence of your crying from last night. You figured a warm shower would help ease you into a good rhythm for the day, but all you could think about was Jungkook, which started another sob fest while underneath the warm water.

After another good cry, you wandered to your living room, figuring out what to do. The pause on pre-production for your show gave you too much time on your hands, and without work, you felt unproductive.

A sudden buzzing from the kitchen had you curious since your phone was on the coffee table in front of you. Searching for the buzzing noise, you realize Jungkook had forgotten his phone, and even though the pair of you weren't really on speaking terms at the moment, you figured he would need it. You called Jin to meet you in the lobby, but once you arrived, the receptionist told you to meet him upstairs.

You pushed the elevator button to the tenth floor with your guest pass. It would be nice to see Jungkook since it would only be for a minute or so, but then again, you weren't sure how to act around him. Would you kiss him? Hug him? Would it just be super awkward?

As the elevator's door opened, Jin was already awaiting your arrival. "Ah, well, look who it is. My favorite writer," he teased.

"Ha-ha. Very funny, Mr. Worldwide Handsome," you said, walking out of the elevator, pushing Jungkook's phone against his chest for him to take. "I'm just here to drop off Jungkook's phone, and then I'm leaving."

"Nuh-uh. Why am I doing your dirty work? You give it to him. He's your boyfriend, not mine," Jin said.

You wondered if Jin knew what was going on with you and Jungkook. The two of them were close and considering that Jin had seen him recently, maybe Jungkook spilled his guts to his hyung.

You grunted at Jin's comment.

"He's in a meeting right now," Jin looked at his watch, "but he'll be done in twenty minutes, give or take. Keep me company until then?" he asked.

Well, you didn't have anything better to do anyway. Even though you and Jungkook were in a weird fighting/arguing period, you missed him. It hurt to be away from him even though you were still upset.

Jin rambled on while you walked beside him. You nodded along, pretending to understand everything he was going on about. Someone whisked beside you, brushing past, waving someone down, shouting out a name that sent a shiver down your spine: Alex.

You tugged on Jin's sweater, forcing him to stop. "Is that Alex?" you whispered.

Jin froze in place, clearing his throat. "Yeah, that's her. Why?" He knew why or at least had an idea of what happened, but he felt this would be an interesting afternoon.

You didn't answer him. Instead, your eyes narrowed, a wave of anger filled inside you, smoke fuming from your bright red ears. You stomped your way over to this woman who was at least a foot shorter than you. Well, at least that's what it felt like. Your chest felt heavy, your head a little dizzy, but your eyes were locked on your target.

"Yah--where are you going--" Jin whispered-yelled, following closely behind you.

She was covering her mouth so innocently from laughing at a joke that an intern must have told. It made you scoff.

Innocent? Yeah right.

Kissing your boyfriend? Making him touch her?

Hardly fucking innocent.

You weren't sure what to say or do, but you needed to do something. Your mind racing with curses and threats, but you were never the confronting type.

When you reached Alex, you realized she wasn't much smaller than you, practically the same height and build. She was puzzled as you stood in front of her. She looked at you from head to toe, waiting for you to say something.

She asked, crossing her arms and tapping her foot. "Can I help you?"

"Stay the fuck away from my boyfriend," you hissed at her.

She chuckled. "Sweetheart, I don't even know who your boyfriend is."

Sweetheart? You wanted to fucking punch her in the face right then and there. You hated when someone younger called you pet names like a grandmother would their grandchildren.

"That's Jungkook's girlfriend..." Winnie, the intern, leaned over and whispered to her.

"You're Jungkook's girlfriend?" she asked smugly, giving you a once-over. "Aren't you, like, forty? Surprised Jungkook likes old ladies."

Her stupid comment warranted a punch to her face, right?

"I'll stay away, but maybe it's him you should be keeping on a leash."

You scoffed, and Alex had some nerve to think that Jungkook would do anything to hurt you again intentionally.

"He likes that, ya know," she chuckled and winked, then turned to Winnie to continue their conversation, pretending you didn't exist.

Jin tried grasping your arm, but you turned around, staring at him to back off. He threw his hands up, knowing he shouldn't stand in your way. Because once something or someone made you upset, there was no stopping you.

"How dare you make a move on him, knowing he had a girlfriend!" you exclaimed. You're unsure where this ounce of confidence came from, but it was too late to back off now.

She faced you again, another smug grin on her face. "Did Jungkook tell you how much he loved touching me? I could feel him getting so fucking hard for me. I was so wet because of those delicious fingers. I've missed them so much." She bit her bottom lip and closed her eyes before opening them again, flashing a smirk.

Good god, she was a masochist. She was saying all these things just to get a rise out of you, and she was succeeding. You could feel the heat rising in your chest and onto your cheeks. You clenched your fist and bit your lip so hard it could bleed.

"You should be on your fucking knees, worshiping me," Alex cocked her eyebrow, leaning closer in your direction. "He didn't know how to do anything in the bedroom, but thanks to me, he fucks you so well because I taught him how to."

She began to inch even closer, staring directly into your eyes, with no intention of letting up. "God, I fucking miss him so much. How he tasted on my lips, how his fat cock filled me up to the brim...he'd let me do anything to him. I'd tease him for hours, and he'd still beg for more."

She continued taunting you, explicitly telling you graphic details you didn't want to hear. Her eyes fluttered shut at her own words. "Whenever I fuck someone now, I imagine it's him. When I touch myself, all I see is him." Her eyes opened to see tears beginning to well up in yours, your lips quivering, trying to swallow back your tears.

You couldn't believe that a stupid girl like her could make you feel insecure about yourself. She was shoving these images down your throat, and you couldn't find the words to stop her. A part of you now understood why Jungkook froze in her presence.

"Does he like to fuck your throat too? I get shivers just thinking about his fat cock hitting the back of my throat over and over again." She leaned in even more, so close you could feel her breath on you. "I bet you can't fuck him as well as I can."

She knew what she was doing, trying to rile you up, but you couldn't handle it anymore. She was wrong about all the filthy things she was saying about Jungkook. He was precious, gentle, and sweet, and there was no way he had learned all these things from her.

A crisp snap filled the air, along with gasps from several people. Alex's cheek unveiled a red mark. She turned back towards you with an arrogant smile plastered across her face. She soothed the red spot that now covered her ivory skin. You could tell she liked mocking you and saying all these nasty things about Jungkook.

"Should I keep going?" she smirked. "I can write a whole fucking novel about Jeon Jungkook."

"Keep Jungkook's name out of your fucking mouth, you stupid bitch."

She was practically eye to eye with you, egging you on, wanting to see how far you'd go for him. "I wonder how often he's thought about me when he's with you."

You were fuming at this point, your fists clenched and ready to sock her in the face. The stupid slap wasn't enough to shut her up at this point. Suddenly Jin pulled you away by the waist. You were screaming and yelling at him to put you down, and all you could see was a smug smile on Alex's face as he dragged you away.

He brought you into an empty hallway where no one could see you. You were essentially sobbing - making a complete fool of yourself at Jungkook's workplace after hearing all the things Alex said about him. You were a fool to think you were ready to face Jungkook and believe your emotions wouldn't cloud your judgment.

Jin pulled you in for a hug, softly shushing you and telling you everything would be okay. Jungkook walked out of his meeting at the end of the hallway, surprised at the sight of you and Jin. He was bug-eyed and mouthed, "What happened?" Jin waved at him to hurry on over.

When Jungkook arrived, he switched places with Jin. He whispered in Jungkook's ear, "Your current girlfriend just slapped the shit out of your ex-girlfriend." Jin mouthed, "Good luck" before disappearing around the corner, leaving the pair of you.

Jungkook groaned. "Fuck," he said softly. That's not what he wanted. He didn't want you involved with Alex, and he didn't want you anywhere near her.

He pulled you flush against his chest, kissing the top of your head. You were still sniffling, now feeling embarrassed and stupid for all the commotion you caused. What were his colleagues going to think of Jungkook? That he has a crazy ass girlfriend AND ex-girlfriend? Probably.

"I'm sorry," you muttered quietly into his chest, trying to hide your face from all the embarrassment.

"Why are you sorry?"

"Because I slapped your ex-girlfriend and caused a scene."

He chuckled. "That's hot. I wish I saw it."

You pulled away and scowled, then gently slapped his chest before burying your head back in its previous position. "Shut up," you said in a muffled voice.

"Damn...I can't get over the fact that you slapped her. She probably deserved it, and she must have pissed you off," he said softly, stroking your hair.

"She did deserve it. I would have punched her if Jin didn't pull me away," you said, still muffled against his chest.

"I'm glad you didn't punch her...then I'd be bailing you out of jail," he said. "Wait, that's kind of hot too."

Jungkook tried his best to improve this situation, but you knew there was no way to return from it. You'd prefer if the two of you could just disappear and live on a tropical island or something without exes, family, and responsibilities.

A few people passed by the two of you in the hallway, indistinctly whispering, probably gossiping about what happened between you and Alex.

"How could you be with someone like that? She's a horrible specimen of a human."

A look of guilt covered his face. "I was young and stupid."

"And horny," you added.

"Yes, that too." He gazed down at you, still sniffling, wiping away the snot that began to settle underneath your nose. "I'm sorry you had to deal with her, and I can talk to her if you want."

"No! I want her nowhere near you. Who knows what else she'll try."

He laughed. "Are you scared I'll cave in?"

You didn't answer. A part of you was scared Jungkook still liked her, and maybe he just didn't know until he saw her again. She was alluring and beautiful, and you could see why Jungkook would have been so smitten as a young 18-year-old boy. You were scared you weren't good enough for him, just like you weren't good enough for Kenji and U-jin.

He held your chin up with his finger, making you look at him. "Hmm?"

"Can we go somewhere more private?" you asked. You wanted to avoid all the stares and whispers from his colleagues.

He took your hand and led you toward his office. He closed the door and the blinds, ensuring no one would bother the two of you. He walked over and sat on the edge of the desk, legs crossed at the ankle, hands propped on his desk. His big twinkling doe eyes gazed at you, trying to figure out what was on your mind.

"Are you okay?"

You shrugged. Of course, you weren't okay. You just slapped the shit out of a girl, which is entirely out of character for you. You were ready to go to jail for this man. To be honest, you weren't sure what came over you. But everything that Alex was saying probably had some truth, whether you liked it or not. Jungkook had been with other women before you.

He held out his hand, but you didn't take it. A part of you hated being in this situation. You wished Alex never came here, and you wanted Jungkook to have never met her. You were hoping for many things, but no magical genie could make them come true.

"Am I enough for you?" you asked, lips quivering, tears forming behind your eyes. You couldn't look at him, and you couldn't dare to because you knew you'd instantly start bawling in the middle of his office. This dramatic scene with Alex was too much, and you weren't expecting to face her so suddenly.

When you asked the question, it felt like an arrow pierced his heart. Of course, you were enough for him, more than enough...no, you are everything to him. He didn't want anyone else. He wanted you. Jungkook felt like this was a reoccurring conversation between the two of you. How could you ever think you weren't enough for him?

He walked over to you and crouched down, trying to get you to look at him. "Hey," he muttered quietly. "You are more than enough for me."

Your heart ached gravely in your chest cavity, wanting nothing more than to believe the words coming out of his mouth. A tear escaped and began running down your cheek, and Jungkook wiped it away with his thumb. He cupped your face into his warm hands, and you welcomed it, not fighting him. His touch felt so nice after the weird tension between you.

You gazed into his desperate eyes, darting back and forth between them. "I wish I could believe that," you sniffled, letting more tears run down your cheek. You could barely see him through the puddle of tears in your eyes.

"I'm so sorry, baby. I'm sorry," he repeated over and over again. He was still cupping your face. Then he brought your lips to his. Repeatedly apologizing in between kisses before he stopped and began fervently kissing you, full of desperation and sorrow. He held the nape of your neck, bringing you in for a deeper kiss.

Your body ached for him; you wanted all of him but knew that you shouldn't. You pulled away, hands pushing against his chest, your forehead resting against his, the two of you catching your breaths as you got carried away.

How were you supposed to trust him again?

It was easy with U-jin...you started to fall out of love with him towards the end of your relationship. But with Jungkook, it was a million times harder because you loved him so much it hurt.

Your fingers curled under the collar of his blazer. "I--I can't do this right now, Jungkook."

"Do what? Us?"

"I just--I need time to think--away from you, from us."

"Baby, don't do this," Jungkook pleaded, taking a step toward you, and he wanted to take another. Still, he could see your hesitancy towards him as you backpedaled against a chair. "Can we talk at home, please?"

You promised Jungkook you'd be home so the two of you could talk properly. You figured chatting at his workplace wasn't the best place to decide what your future would look like.

Anticipating his arrival, you nervously cleaned even though your apartment was already spotless. You debated opening a bottle of wine but realized being under the influence would hinder your thoughts. The constant battle of keeping yourself occupied finally ended when the beeps from your keypad could be heard.

Jungkook didn't announce himself like he usually did. Instead, he quietly walked in, setting his things down. He turned the corner, flashing a thin-lipped smile. He was happy to see you were here and hadn't left to return to his sister's. Walking over, he leaned to kiss your cheek, and you reciprocated, barely catching the corner of his lips.

He plopped beside you, letting out a big sigh. You assumed he had a long day, especially explaining your actions to his colleagues and bosses. You felt asinine with your behavior, being unable to control yourself and letting your emotions get the best of you.

"Am I banned from Netmarble headquarters?" you asked, breaking the silence, which made him smile.

Jungkook shook his head, his index finger caressing your cheek, moving a strand of hair away from your face. "I'll find ways to sneak you in."

The two of you softly chuckled, neither wanting to continue the conversation that needed to happen. So, instead, the two of you gazed at one another, enjoying each other's presence for a few minutes. If there were another way to go about this, you'd choose it in a heartbeat, but it was the fact that things like this kept happening to you, and you had to face reality.

"Where do we go from here?" Jungkook asked, searching your face for an answer. He was praying for the best but prepared for the worst.

"Why don't you guys take a break from each other? I know it'll be hard, considering we're all in each other's lives. Still, it might be good just to get a breath of fresh air and figure out what your future will look like," Yuna paused, "I know I was reluctant at the beginning of your relationship. I'm still very sorry, but I've seen the two of you come a long way. I see how happy the two of you make each other...and honestly, I would just hate for you not to be a part of my life and baby's life. She needs her auntie."

"She?" you asked with teary eyes. "It's a little girl?"

Yuna nodded. "I can't imagine how you're feeling, babe, and trust me, I want to strangle my brother so bad, but I also know him, and he'll do anything he can to keep you."

You didn't doubt that Jungkook would fight for the two of you, but how long would it be until you disappointed the other again? Maybe you were naïve to think Jungkook could never disappoint you, but he was human too. He wasn't perfect, and neither were you.

"I think it's best if we took a break from each other."

Jungkook's pinched expression demonstrated that he didn't particularly like the idea. "For how long?"

Your eyes darted around the room, avoiding his eyes. "I don't know, Kook."

Until you could trust him again? Until he figured out what he wanted? Until you figured out what you wanted? All of those were valid.

Jungkook's hand snaked around your neck, forcing you to look at him. "I don't want to be away from you," he said, his thumb gently caressing your cheek.

He feared that if the two of you went your separate ways, even if for a bit, you'd come to realize that there were better men out there. Ones that would treat you like a queen, give you everything you've ever wanted, and love everything you had to offer.

But he wanted you to know that the person who could be all that was sitting right in front of you. He just needed to convince you otherwise, but a part of him understood it would take a long time for you to trust him again.

You let out a shaky breath. "I love you." You could tell he wanted to respond, but you stopped him and started over again. "I love you. I love you with every fiber of my mind, body, and soul. I love you so much that I'm scared of what my life will look like if I stop loving you."

To be honest, you didn't know if you could ever stop loving him - you'd probably love him until the end of time.

Your lips were quivering and quaking so much that you took a moment to breathe. "I'm scared, Jungkook. I'm scared that without you, I don't know if I'll be able to breathe. I'm scared I won't know how to continue living my life without you by my side."

"Then, don't do this, baby. We can work through this together."

"How do you know that we'll be able to work through this?" you cried, "One stupid person came into our lives and completely turned our lives upside down. How do I know there aren't other things from your past that'll do this again?"

"I promise you there is no one else. Nothing will come in between you and me."

"It's a little too late for that, Kook."

Jungkook ran his hands through his hair, gripping it before letting it go. He groaned in frustration. "You're the only person I want," he pleaded. "Everything means nothing without you."

You let out a sad chuckle. "Then maybe you should've thought about that before you kissed Alex."

"I'm so sorry, baby. You don't know how sorry I am," he exclaimed.

Suddenly, Jungkook got off the couch and onto his knees in front of you. His apologies continued, turning into soft cries, pleading for you to forgive him. Muffled words of I can't live without you, and you're the only one I want. He tugged you towards him, desperate for any touch from you.

Sniffles from the two of you echoed throughout your apartment - eyes swollen from tears, tips of your noses reddened. You ran your hands gently through his hair before attempting to break away from his embrace.

"Kook, please. Don't make this harder than it already is."

Jungkook knew that if he were to let go, he didn't know when or if he'd get you back.

After more tears and some convincing, Jungkook finally let go of you. Neither of you knew how long it would take to heal from this or how long it would take to figure out what the two of you wanted. Still, he tried respecting your wishes and hoped you would be together again.

He packed up his things from your place, and as you looked around, it felt empty. It was like there was no trace of him ever living there. It pained you to walk him to the door only because uncertainty lay beyond it.

Jungkook pushed the lever down but abruptly stopped to turn back to you. Your eyes flicked to his before finding their way back to the floor, where you examined the white-toe socks he loved so much. You hated them, but it made him happy.

"Baby?"

You hummed, avoiding his gaze.

"Can I kiss you goodbye?"

Goodbye.

Goodbye felt so final. So conclusive.

You peered at him, inching closer. Your hand rested softly on his chest as you reached up to connect your lips to his. Always so soft, so plush. The kiss between you lingered, lips entwining, so close to heating up if you let yourself go for another moment, but you shouldn't.

You pulled away, along with the fist that somehow curled under his shirt. Your eyes flickered to his again before you uttered, "Bye, Kook."

✨ next ~ the call

[whalesforhands]

IM BACK AGAIN!!! (“I need this au too where she wakes up in a hospital bed and is so confused like where is everyone and walks all the way back to school in her gown and scares the absolute crap out of everyone being all depressed and everyone’s like they’ve seen a ghost but readers just worried if they’re all alright and fretting over them adjkhghg”) OK SO I totally agree that losing reader would be the equivalent of Gojo losing Geto. But this time they also include Shoko on their mourning (unlike in the manga which has me sobbing). Maybe something where she just snaps at them abt pushing her away when reader was her best friend too. And they slowly realize what they were doing and then all mourn together. Gojo was going through your things one night cause he desperately needed something to ground him from a nightmare (he sleeps in readers room all the time now) and sucked in a breathe and stilled when he found his favorite hoodie in your closet. He tentatively took it and almost cried because it still smelled like you (he’d given it to you one day when you were cold and you forgot to return it and wore it all the time when he wasn’t there bc you really liked it). Geto wears a bracelet all the time now and only takes it off for a shower. He also constantly plays with it when his thoughts get too much and uses it to ground himself. It’s black and white with moon and star charms that he’d specifically picked out for you when he got it during the star plasma vessel mission at the beach. He was going to give it to you after but never got the chance. Shoko is much quieter and more absentminded now and when she was looking for her old lighter that she gave you (hot pink and she knew you were me er gonna use it but she gave it to you anyway bc she likes sharing the things she likes with ppl she cares abt) she found it in your drawer along with a little old booklet. Her face was peaking out out and when she opened it she found that it was a little album filled with secret pu fires she’s taken of her, Gojo, and Geto. Reader wasn’t in any of them Shoko noticed absentmindedly as she fell to her knees clutching the little booklet to her chest. Uh I meant to talk abt the au where reader lives and wakes up in a hospital bed but the hcs for after she dies started rolling in and I just had to share. You don’t have to write either I just really wanna talk abt your amazing au. Also waters great but you need to eat something bro empty stomachs aren’t fun when you notice them. This got super long my bad!!

- 🍊 anon

oooh 🍊anon i agree with you but i got some twigs to crack here, no hospital and everything is ok here, just me rambling ahahah sorry

i will admit to u that something similar to the hospital thing was written before pt.6 was posted, i just dragged u along cause i wanted someone to talk to, sorry ahahah

in dyf, it is apparent that all 4 of them care and love each other a lot in different ways and i’ve tried to get that message across as much as i can, as they all shine in their own unique manner

however, keep in mind this is also an au where i elevated the relationship between geto and gojo. when this happens, i imagined a form of love so deep that they’d be willing to turn over the sky and earth for each other

in a way, dyf geto and gojo also ‘see’ each other the clearest, you could even say their relationship at first ‘overlooks’ both ieiri and reader as well

it’s honestly through little moments with dyf mc that causes them to slowly draw back this thick, heavy curtain from up upon their shiny podium, moments that include dyf mc directly inserting herself between them and having somewhat of an impact on their moral compass, and how they view ‘average’ sorcerers

so when mc dies, the curtain just kinda drops back down? not to say that gojo and geto don’t care about ieiri now that mc’s gone, they do, but dyf mc was just on a different level

not to mention that shoko is someone who prefers to exclude herself before the situation escalates whilst mc is someone who prefers to jump in with 0 regard for her own safety and wellbeing

all in all, when they mourn, shoko keeps to herself and even hates her own ability at some point. she is the only one capable of using reverse cursed technique on others. what is this talent for, if she couldn’t save someone she held so dearly to her?

suguru doesn’t like to think about the situation. even gaslighting himself to such a horrid point that, he thinks if he turns around, he’ll see you right there, smiling up at him and asking if he wanted to share some tapioca juice with you.

(he’s severely mentally knocked down)

satoru revels in your memory. he constantly thinks of you in his round the clock refreshed state. satoru is busy as it is, picking up the slack now that suguru is mentally out of commission, trying desperately to juggle work and being suguru’s pillar

but… how do i put it? both suguru and satoru now hate their jobs more than ever. taking orders from the higher ups, kill curses, protect non-sorcerers… suguru is more disgusted than anything. satoru wants to go down the path of hope. the path that he wants to make suguru see as ‘the best one’

but he lives. he persists on the ‘good’ path. satoru is there to ground him, to be the anchor that prevents him from drifting. gojo can’t lose him. he just can’t.

so gojo doesn’t grow up with the mindset of ‘i won’t allow anyone to be alone again’ but the mindset of ‘i won’t allow myself to lose anyone again’ so it does turn him fiercely protective over the reminders and keepsakes of you (e.g. shoko, geto etc etc)

ahahah i’m talking too much gbye

[tending-the-hearth]

I FOUND YOU😭

Bro I lost u for a hot min! I was combing thru this whole site cuz I couldn't remember ur username😭 i hope ur doin ok

I read "The FightTM" and my goodness let me tell u I had pick my jaw off the floor for a sec there. 1) It's so different from any of fights Ive read in other aus. Like this one felt REAL like i can see the logic in everyones decisions and how it all escalated up to that sweet sweet angst✨2) ur characterization is top notch, and ur descriptions r so good I could picture the whole thing clearly in my head!

Poor 12kids :(( they r going thru it. It was sweet to see raph get some comfort from xever. How'd that happen anyways? Did Bradford and Xever like evily hungout(enemy recon or sumthn) until they realized too late Raph and mikey had already wormed into their lives? Or like Nuh uh?

I honestly can't wait to see where u take this au. I'm so excited!-🫘

kissing you on the forehead immediately <3

honestly so honored because i was SO nervous about the dialogue and making the fight and the brothers' side convincing, because i didn't want it to feel forced for the sake of the AU, so i'm really happy it came across as a natural escelation!!

so, canonically within the 2012 show, Raph and Xever always have this sort of respect and frenemies vibe, which really came out in "Baxter's Gambit" (aka my one of my FAVORITE episodes), and at the end of the show, Xever walks away from the Foot Clan and from The Shredder, and is implied to sort of have this antihero thing!

I might touch on it later in a fic, but within the AU, Xever and Chris did get mutated like in canon, but they got their hands on retromutagen as a sign of "good will" from Shredder (aka he used the fact that he was the reason they turned back to humans to manipulate them to work for him), and eventually were able to fight their way out of the Foot Clan. After they left, Mikey and Raph sort of figured out that they weren't part of the fights anymore and tracked them down, and without the influence of the Shredder, the four of them were able to create friendships.

I do think it started out as an excuse of "oh we have to make sure you're not doing Evil Things" and then it just spiraled into hanging out and having fun, and it wasn't until April pointed out how close they got that they realized lmao

I've always loved the frenemy vibes that Raph and Xever have, so this AU is also definitely an excuse for me to write them being best friends, same with Mikey and Chris!!!

[dea-thynote]

Death note au (dimension travel) where the original L and Musical L who were suppose to be dead, at their respective universes, wakes up to an alternate reality where everything is the same yet slightly different. If only their counter parts also had the same appearance, it would've been easier for them to navigate this reality.

Musical L wakes up in the abandoned warehouse that is both familiar yet different. But he doesn't mind that because he feels disoriented after he shot himself (isn't he suppose to be dead?). He could still remember the way his heart was beating, the tremor in his hands as it shooks in (was it fear?) Trying to gain control. Yet it didn't change (did he have any control in his actions?) As it steadily turns the gun to his head. His voice, though nonchalant, didn't waver as he spoke his last words. And the last thing he saw was the ceiling of the warehouse- similar to what he is looking at right now. He sits up, and feels a puddle (his blood?) In his fingers and slowly he stands up.

Where is he? He didn't know. Although the warehouse looked similar it somehow looked- older. He reaches for his phone and dials a number. After a few rings, it didn't pick up. A heavy unsettling feeling turns to his stomach as he shoves the phone back to his coat. There's a possibility that watari is dead. (But how? Did Light somehow learnt watari's name? Or did he mention to the other shinigami to kill them both?) He slowly walked towards the heavy metal doors. He knows that kira is light yagami, (why am I not dead?) And he'll be damned if he still wasn't able to put him down to his execution.

Lmao, honestly this idea only came to me when I just imagined musical L, walking down the streets covered in blood and gathers attention of concerned citizens gets arrested.

And when they interrogated him and asks for his name he's like "ryuga hideki" and the police doesn't believe him until he asks them to verify his identity through calling to-oh. (Dunno if u can do that but uhhh it happens here) and when the police gave a description of L they're like "Oh yeah that's our student, top ranker ryuga hideki" and the police started to take him seriously now and he makes up a story about waking up and possibly getting kidnapped in a warehouse.

And now he discovers that he doesn't look like the "L" of this world. It's a good thing that the L from this world managed to also get into to-oh and still have his identity hidden. But as he tries to manage surviving alone (without watari) he notices that the date is different from when he died (time travel?) And there were news about Yotsuba and a vice president(?) Higuchi getting cornered by the police and dying from a heart attack (is it kira?).

And eventually, after a week, he concluded that this might have been an alternate universe or a different world where both L and kira still existed. Considering that the task force and light yagami looked different from his world. He's sitting on the floor of the hotel he managed to get to stay in with computers around him and delved further to notice the huge amount of criminals killed. Two of them were criminals he knew of, Thierry Morello a con artist and Merrie Kenwood a thief, both which worked under L. He puts his finger on his lip, thinking. The most concerning yet, was that the L of this world wasn't doing anything.

That made him conclude that either the L of this world was different from him (he wasn't, if the data wasn't wrong the methods he tried were the same to bait kira out) or L of this world was dead.

And he had been replaced by an impostor.

(And now he has to both try find evidence to damn kira and hide from the second L which he thinks is also kira).

[avalanchesumich]

mastermind!au

october 20

just like the last friday, cam sat in the stands with her friends to watch gabe’s game. and just like last friday, she had her fingers crossed for him, wanting him to get his first goal just as much as he did.

bc currently had the lead and it was nearly halfway through second period when gabe collected the puck with his stick. cam tightly clutched val’s hand, watching as he neared closer and closer to the goal, leaning close as he shot the puck, jumping up as it went through. she cheered for him, her and val sharing multiple excited high-fives as it happened.

her cheeks were coated pink not only from the cheering she was doing, but also because he pointed his stick in her direction and his team came to congratulate him as they do.

“he did it, oh my god,” cam whisper shouted to val and tim.

“and he dedicated it to you,” val poked her side. “adorable.”

cam blushed as they continued to watch the game.

the game ended with another win in bc’s favor, and just like last week, cam stayed back for gabe. when he exited the locker room, he was with will and ryan, and was visibly much more content than he was leaving last friday.

cam waved a quick hello to will and ryan, giving them both a congratulations before she was wrapping her arms around gabe’s neck. she giggled as his arms wrapped around her back, picking her up and spinning her around once before he brought her back to her feet. though, they stayed like that for another moment before cam hesitantly pulled back, but were still closer than they were used to.

“you got your first goal,” she whispered, a small smile on her lips.

“i sure did,” gabe matched her tone. “all thanks to you.”

“is that so?”

“mhm,” he hummed. “i think it is. thank you for being here.”

“of course,” cam nodded.

“do you wanna come over to mine?” gabe asked slowly, taking a step back from her to properly read her for any sign of discomfort. “will won’t be there, but i was thinking we could have a movie night?”

“sure,” cam nodded, giving his hand a reassuring squeeze to ease his nerves. “do you mind if we stop by my dorm first? so i can change?”

“you can borrow my clothes,” gabe shrugged before quickly backtracking, “but if you’d prefer your own, we’ll go to yours!”

“gabe, it’s okay,” cam smiled. “let’s go. i’ll just text val that i’m not coming back tonight from the car.”

gabe smiled and nodded. he once again offered his hand to her, which she gladly took. he thanked his lucky stars he didn’t carpool with anyone today.

from the car, cam texted val.

cam: don’t wait up for me tn. spending the night at gabe’s

val: sounds good. use protection ;)

cam: i don’t find u funny. see u in the morning

val: love you be safe also send your location

cam rolled her eyes at her friend’s antics but did send her location before clicking her phone off. gabe pulled into his usual parking spot before rushing out of the car to get to the other side and open the door for her. cam was still getting situated by the time he got her door open.

“thank you,” she grinned, taking his hand, allowing him to help her out of the car.

“of course, milady,” he joked. he led her to his building and to his dorm room.

cam looked around, honestly shocked by the lack of mess there was.

“well don’t look so surprised,” gabe teased, going to his dresser. he pulled out a pair of sweats and a t-shirt for her to wear, as well as pajamas for himself.

“sorry,” she said quietly, thanking him when he handed her the clothing he offered.

“no worries, i promise,” he laughed. “i’m gonna go change in the bathroom, give you privacy.”

cam nodded and watched him walk out, closing the door behind him before she got changed. by the time he came back, cam was seated on his desk chair, rolling up the bottoms of his sweats so she could at least walk in them. gabe couldn’t help but laugh at the sight of her, not being able to take his phone out to take a picture of her defeated look.

“hey!” she gasped at his actions.

“don’t worry!” he teased. “you look adorable.”

“mhm,” she playfully rolled her eyes, standing up. “i believe you said something about a movie night, perreault.”

“i definitely did,” he nodded. “c’mon,” he nodded to the bed.

he’d been in cam’s room a handful of times, which was enough to know that she needed a boost to get onto her elevated bed. his hands went to her hips, and he lifted her, seating her on the bed. now he was standing between her legs, her just slightly taller than him. they stayed like that for a moment.

cameron’s breathing picked up slightly as they stared into each other’s eyes. after a few moments, she blinked a few times, clearing her throat. she scooted backwards, so she was in the corner of the bed by the wall, allowing gabe to get onto the bed as well. gabe grabbed his laptop, that was at the foot of the bed.

he opened it when he turned to look at her. “you okay?”

“yeah,” cam nodded. “are you?”

“yeah,” he nodded. he swallowed. he went back to opening up a streaming service to find them a movie to watch, but was completely distracted. “cam?” he asked, looking down at her. he waited to see her big, blue eyes look up at him before he continued. “can i kiss you?”

cam’s tongue swiped across her lips as she nodded, but that wasn’t enough for gabe. “i need the words, baby,” he whispered.

cam nodded again, the word ‘yes’ coming out in a whisper as the two of them leaned in, their lips connecting for the first time. when they pulled away, a small smile could be found on cam’s lips as they leaned their foreheads against each other. they stayed like that for a moment before their lips were moving in sync once more.

when they pulled apart, they were breathless and their faces were flushed. cam licked her lips as she caught her breath, feeling compelled to look into gabe’s eyes, her own wide as saucers. she just had her first kiss.

“everything okay?” gabe asked quietly, worried by her expression.

“yeah,” she nodded, a blush coating her cheeks. “everything’s perfect.”

“good,” he said, pressing a kiss to the top of her head. the two of them leaned their backs against the wall as they continued to look for a movie to watch. “do you have any suggestions?”

“hmm,” cam hummed, thinking. “can we watch a halloween movie?”

“absolutely,” gabe nodded, a small smile on his face. he loved her love for the holiday; he thought it was adorable. “a scary one or a comfort one?”

“comfort,” cam answered almost immediately. “i’m so bad with scary movies.”

gabe raised his eyebrows at her, but didn’t comment on it, taking a mental note of it. “okay,” he nodded. “how about hocus pocus?”

“yeah!” cam nodded. “love that movie.”

“great,” gabe smiled. he pulled it up on the computer, pulling a blanket over the two of them. the two of them got situated with cameron curled up into his side, her head on his shoulder before he pressed play on their movie.

[seven-stars-in-his-palm]

august help rat and i are going absolutely feral over running minds au . i didnt even know anything abt fnaf before this but i have been CONVERTED homestly . i need to ficify it so bad . God . oh right thats why im here i was wondering if you have like any writing tips ?? because i have Zero Clue what im doing and you are By Far the best writer out of everyone i know Shoves microphone in your face whats your advice to someone who has like never written ever . actually i have an unrelated actually pretty decent quarter-ish of a fanfic sitting in my notes app but i barely remember how i Did That so it doesn't count i dont remember what wizardry i performed to materialize all those Words

OKAY OKAY OKAY ive figured it alllll out. its honestly not much but it's My process. LETS A GO

august's shitass guide to all things fanfiction and planning (which is near nonexistant!) 🔥

i will be using my current nano project for this because honestly this is the epitamy of writing i have right now and i love talkin about it. sooooo GOOOO

1: Bare Basics

the tagline. the who when what where why. why are u writing this fanfic. for me its the Talking: i want my angel and demon to talk about Feelings, so im gonna make them talk about FEELINGS. this is personal fulfillment. it might take a while to get there, but i want them to TALK. for you, i suppose would be for ford and michael to meet and go on whimscal adventures. basics!

2: How To Get There

so how are we making aziraphale and crowley talk. how are we getting ford and michael afton smushed together in the multiverse. you, of course, have told me how that works. now is it important enought to flesh that out before the rest or just needs to be explained in a quick flashback? your pick, but since my topic is so vague, i definitely need context before it. that, my friend, is up to you. nothing much more to it. if u dont know how to start a fic, just explain how we got to what's intriguing about it (the crossover :))

3: Notes.

now is where the process BEGINS. what happens in the story. i usually start with miscellanous bullet points--everything i want to happen, no matter the order it'll happen, in a little page. here's a picture of one of my pages ib my notebook, with things i want to happen in my titanic fic (handwriting reveal?!??!) (TEA, IF UR READING THIS SOMEHOW, DONT LOOK AT THE IMAGES🫵🫵🫵) (SORY FOR HURRIED SCRIBLES, I WAS TRYNA REMEMBER IT ALL)

there's literally no order. just stuff that need to be there, there. even if its as simple as the au coming to fruition, or even just one conversation, PUT IT THERE. its all the appeal. what you're doing this for. dontforget....

4: Outlines

now, before i tell you how to do this, there really isn't a way. here's a picture of my timeline for the fic mentioned earlier (not the titanic fic) (TEA AND OTHER READERS OF THE SERIES, ALSO DO NOT LOOK TYYYY ❤️❤️)

see? complicated as fuck. it doesnt have to be that way tho, obviously: each chapter or one shot could be as simple as "michael is fucking ZAPPED, and meets ford" it just has to be something to work with. (i, on the other hand, need extensive help. so. there's the thing above. theres eve more its just online)

there really isn't too much other than that in the planning department. understand why you're doing it, know how to get there, and PLAN. detail it out. idk if this is an adequet explanation actually. if u need more specifics i can try again, but is what i got. do what works for you, work at ur pace, and such like. it doesnt have to be at this level, or even close. have fucking fun, dude. if u need morehelp, pls ask, or even consult blogs that help out specifcally for that stuff. GOOD LUCK!!!!! <3

[lqfiles]

okay, its high time i am now sat to say this!

it has been such a ride with stg, i have thoroughly enjoyed each update so much so that as soon as i'd wake up, i'd pick up my phone and check if you have updated! gawd i have loved it so so much!! sometimes sitting in the class before the lecture would begin i'd sit and write you an ask about it :(

as i've already told you how jisung climbed up my bias list just like that ?? even topping mark somehow who has been my ult for years!! and ofcc how can i not speak on 'slendy', that nickname caught my eye so bad that i really started identifying myself by it! i'm so so so glad that, that one day i decided to send you that ask on how much i loved slendy as a name for jisung, each character that you created somehow had the essence of the real dream in it (except for CHENLE hating on jisung😭)

apart from stg, being a part of the community that you have created has been sm fun!! it has to be destiny that stg ended on my birthday :( it has defo made it sm more special to me, i'd always come back to this, you have officially written my comfort au!

lqfiles, my love! thank you for the hardwork that you have put into the smau, updating so frequently whilst managing college has to be difficult but look at you!! i appreciate your hardwork so so much!!! i have loved stg and will keep doing so <3 looking forward to more of your works!! (very OBVIOUSLY hinting on that hyuck au😍)

love u always, take care sweet one!!

mwahh 💌

-slendy anon!

my cutieful lovely sweety slendy

this is such a cute message 😭😭 it’s honestly crazy fr how you’ve basically stuck around since the beginning and been present for every chapter, and i remember getting that first ask about you gushing over the name slendy and i was kicking my feet because it made my day hearing that lollll and i can’t believe you’d be sending them before your lectures that’s actually cute :D

we went from talking about slendy to sharing our personal life’s in these asks (which the community was interested in too) and the way you’ve made yourself a name on the lqfiles blog is kinda iconic like i’m sure most readers associate stg with slendy anon or any of the other active anons. i still find it funny that stg has for you and apparently some others made jisung a top bias like hearing that makes me feel somewhat impactful when i doubt i am 😭

thinking of it, ending stg on your bday is kinda cool because you were my first OFFICIAL anon isn’t that crazy? guess you could take it as a small thank you for sticking around and sending so many cute messages (as well as private messages, can’t believe you finally messaged me!!!)

tbh managing stg while doing college was hectic at some moments but i also really enjoyed writing it so i don’t regret anything ive done, but thank you for the appreciation you’re so cute bae 😭😭😭💗💗💗 and that hyuck smau will happen hopefully 😝 stg definitely means much more to me because of you and the other anons i got from it!

LOVE YOU MORE SWEETHEART TAKE CARE <33

[fonulyn]

Hey I'm stealing this from some ask game I just saw but out of all your fics which ones would be your favorite to get fanart of? i KNOW there's a billion I'm sorry -w- pick as many as u want it's fine

lmao you're right there are a billion it is not an easy question :'D

the short (and sort of a cop-out) answer would be pretty much any of the nivannedy fics because the world needs more art of this pairing!! they are special 💖 if i'd give some shoutouts it'd be to

the long domestic series, it's seriously my escape from reality lol, I want them to be so happy.

the mutant baby series (which I am trying hard to get the second part written for, sobs, i've got like six parts planned and only one written) or the one where they adopt a baby, idk I'm not usually the biggest fan of kidfic but for some reason I've had cravings lately 😅

the re4 au which i'm still proud of even tho it kinda bombed, or maybe the re2 au with baby!Leon and Piers?? both would be very lovely.

the one where they vacation in finland, bc c'mon, nivannedy and finland? i'd melt :'D

or maybe Leon with little braids and/or curls? would be so cute :'D

if I'd need to pick other pairings then maybe

the most recent metaltango, Krauser and the gorgeous re4!Leon can never fail tbh.

the Krauser's back series, because this world seriously needs some Krauser with re6!Leon!! Leon is so damn gorgeous in re6 too and I bet Krauser would appreciate that.

ooor could be nice to see some quality Jake/Piers and I'm kinda fond of this porny little thing lol.

also I'd never say no to Leon being railed by a monster /coughs. what. i said what i said 😎

but honestly just any and all would be lovely tbh.

thanks for the ask 💖 it was a very welcome surprise and helped me distract myself from how crappy and cranky i was feeling! 😘

[starlitangels]

hello! i've been seeing soo much of my favorite artists get into redacted audio and i just wanted to know where can i start listening or what character should be a good start for me to get into redacted?? i've been wanting to listen to him but idk where to start! thank u 😊

Hello friend! I've answered this before but I'll go ahead and do it again since my answer has changed just a little teeny tiny bit

I would recommend Freelancer Season 1 to start! There are a lot of posts on this website about everyone's recommendations, but I'd say probably Freelancer Season 1 because the main listener character is also just as new to the rest of the shared universe as a new audience member, and gets the basics of the mechanics explained pretty well.

Normally I'd also recommend Sovereign State Season 1 as a good starter too, but its finale episode(s) need a lot of context to really have the proper impact...

Unless of course you have plenty of time and don't mind a lot of information being dumped on you. In which case I recommend grabbing the "Everything" playlist! It's every narrative video he's made in the order of release, so the exposition is in the order that he gave it in. Which, honestly, can be very helpful, because watching things out of order can be confusing because some information will be casually mentioned like it's common knowledge while you're sitting there confused like "Wat?!" because that exposition was in a different series

But if the "Everything" playlist seems too long and daunting, character playlists for David, Asher, Milo, and Vincent (before the Inversion series) are a little easier to digest.

Also an important thing to note: everything is connected. Even if you don't think a certain storyline is connected to the rest of the universe for [reasons] when you first listen to it, I guarantee you, it's connected in some way.

Redacted also has a website with an official timeline but I don't recommend reading it until you've watched most (if not all) of the videos because reading a timeline is honestly more overwhelming and a lot less fun and interesting than just listening to the videos. Go to the timeline afterward for specific dates if you need them.

Also bear in mind that he deals with some heavy subjects sometimes and applicable content warnings will always be in the YouTube video description. If you're more sensitive to certain subjects, read the descriptions and make a judgment call from there. If you can handle pretty much anything, that's more than fine, but if not, this is your friendly advice from me to keep an eye on the video descriptions for any subjects you'd rather not hear about

I love the Imperium AU and Inversion but they can be too dark for some people and that's okay

I'm not trying to scare you off, I promise. I love this channel and its stories dearly and could not recommend his storytelling more highly. I just want you to be aware that heavy subjects can pop up

Redacted is an adult and writes stories mostly about adults, so mature topics and "spice" (as a euphemism) will pop up alongside the aforementioned "heavy" subjects

Another thing: trust in Redacted's storytelling. If something seems "bad," it is most definitely there to serve a greater purpose later down the line. Trust that he's going to service his story and the things that you may not like will lead to something so satisfying when its time comes

Anyway. TL;DR, start with either the "Everything" playlist and go in order of release for the "true experience" of having a seemingly random barrage of characters thrown your way, or start with Freelancer Season 1 for a decent rundown of the universe's rules and mechanics and magic system

Don't do what I did. Which was hop around randomly, cherry picking whomever's "title" seemed the most interesting at the time until I'd heard the whole channel and had to go relisten to things in some semblance of the right order in order to figure out wtf was going on. I ended up watching Elliott's playlist as the first playlist I watched and let me tell you, I was confused as hell. Don't do that. Freelancer Season 1, and the "Everything" playlist are my top recommendations for understanding the lore in the order it was released so you need fewer context clues on wtf is going on

[nerves-nebula]

do you have any video(s) or sources for learning how turtles chirp? I too am of the flavour of autsim that repeats sounds and ouhouaherg I don't have the spoons to find a good audio one

also omgg i can't think of a good prompt but i just wanna say your rottmnt art is soo good. lik uhhggfg. i am froathing. i love them and the redisgns for your au are so shaped omgg. they are the most shaped. i am chewing on them like a squeaky toy. i love ur brain ideas 100/10 epicc

I do NOT have any videos/sources because every time I look it up (like 3 times a day at this point tbh) all the videos I can find have ABYSMAL quality, or take forever to get to the noise, or are of turtles having sex. And almost all of them are different species GUHH.

my chirps are going more off the IDEA of a turtle noise tbh, than actually imitating a real one. Although mine are heavily inspired by what I remember of my sisters pet turtle (we gave her away when I was younger though so it's been a while)(She was a red eared slider named Marina)

anyway i got distracted halfway through answering this because it caused me to go on a hunt for a really good video with CLEAR AUDIO of a turtle making SOME KIND of noise so.

here's a video from the smithsonian which has really good audio, but only really shows you one chirp sound and its from an unborn turtle. STILL its really cute and is basically what I'm going for when I do my chirps.

here's one of the first videos I found that shows a box turtle chirping/croaking, but you have to turn the audio up a lot to hear it. and also the entire time the turtle is just absolutely failing to eat a worm. just doing a dogshit job at eating a worm. embarrassing!

ive found in my (admittedly limited) search that its way easier to find videos of turtles hissing than anything else, cause hissing is loud enough to get picked up and probably more entertaining to upload. i dunno!

as for HOW turtles chirp I've got no idea, all I've learned so far is that they don't have vocal chords apparently.

BUT NOW ONTO THE MORE IMPORTANT PART OF THIS ASK: the part where u compliment me :3

i am SOOO flattered you like my rottmnt art fadsfdsf I've been having a lot of fun with it.

the redesigns for my AU/kind of totally new version of TMNT were fun to make cause I basically wanted to make them super simple so that I could draw/doodle them fast. you can see in some of the developing sketches I made how I simplified the head shapes a ton.

honestly I'm most disappointed that I can't think of anything to do with them/don't have the time to draw them a ton right now cause I LOVE LOVE LOVEEEE their little angular faces. Especialy donnie, donnie is soooo shaped and i love how his snoot looks <<33

but yea hearing that you like my stuff really helps me want to POST MORE OF IT fsadfsdf. sometimes I post a lot and what I'm really hoping for is just someone to say they like something I made cause I need a pick me up or I'm bored or something sdfsdfsdf. sso thank you !!