#ugly sobbing over my computer at 2am

[quaggathemighty]

Stepsister, by Jennifer Donnelly: an emotional, messy review.

Recommended For: fantasy, ya, feminist, fairy tale, coming of age stories, girl protagonist, adventure lovers

         This will be as close to a spoiler-free review as I can make it.

"It's the hunger in our hearts that kills us."

Have you ever read a book that so thoroughly encompassed everything you ever wanted to put on paper? That ripped into the deepest part of you and dragged you along by your emotions until you're raw and hopeful and shattered and fired up all at once? Because I just have.

The Summary:

“Isabelle should be blissfully happy - she's about to win the handsome prince. Except Isabelle isn't the beautiful girl who lost the slipper and captured the prince's heart. She's the ugly stepsister who cut off her toes to fit into Cinderella's shoe... which is now filling with blood.

When the prince discovers Isabelle's deception, she's turned away in shame. It's no more than she deserves. She cut away pieces of herself in order to become pretty. Sweet. More like Cinderella. But that only made her mean, jealous, and hollow. Now she has a chance to alter her destiny and prove what ugly stepsisters have always known:

It takes more than heartache to break a girl."

My Thoughts:

Isabelle is not pretty. She's jealous and she struggles and while she fiercely loves her sister she often feels lost and afraid, or angry and hateful to the world that left her behind. She cut off her toes because her absolutely mad mother demanded it, heating a knife over the fire while she berates her into obeying, and as a result Isabelle's bitterness and jealousy might even kill her. But as the story unfolds she's also breathtakingly passionate and brave and confident and fiery, and she grows a lot over the course of the story, learning to set aside what everyone else has labeled her (and indeed sometimes what she's labeled herself because of their cruelty), to become her own woman. She's strong and real and well written, and I love her. I want to be her. Goddamn I want every girl to be her. To be their own Elizabeth, Yennenga, Abhaya Rani. Strong, brave, dangerous. Beautiful in their own right, and not always on the surface like the world wants.

"Each queen was once a girl like you. Told who to be and what to do. Not pretty, not pleasing, far too rough. Til wounded subjects, anguished dead, mattered more than things the others said. Then, like a flag, her will unfurled. Go now, girl. Remake the world."

UUUGHhhh. Can we just talk about this book PLEASE? Can this get more of a following so I can scream and rave and flail and ugly cry with more people who loved this book? Oh my god. There are so many things about this book I like, from the way she fought for and protected her sister, to the way she grew to see past the jealousy her mother instilled in her against Ella, to the way it doesn't pit the girls against each other for their vastly different strengths. Well, except for one, but I'll get to that.

The book opens up on what has to be one of the most heart-wrenching, cringe-worthy scenes I've ever read in a young adult novel, and it's that scene with the cutting of the feet and the bloody shoes (yes, from the original myth, this ain't no Disney remake, y'all, it gets gory and doesn't hide from it) is what made me actually come back and buy the book. Isabelle had me by the heartstrings the whole goddamn read. For a girl who never grew up as conventionally attractive, who was always too loud or too brash or never had the right interests (witchcraft, necromancy, and vampires, anyone? No? Don't hide your cringe years from me, I know you had them too), seeing a book properly take these oddities and this 'ugliness', and teach a young woman to learn to accept and even love these things about herself, even though it doesn't get her what she's been told she has to want, but instead pushes her to find her own path? Ugh. Yes. Give me a thousand more of these stories, I could do this all day.

Also, boyfriend cries and has open, deep emotions. What?? A young man in touch with his feelings, that doesn't have to be physically strong to be a good man, that is allowed to be physically weak and emotionally open, and have his own strengths and weaknesses that don't boil down to a six pack and a brooding personality? In a YA FANTASY BOOK?! Hold me.

I rooted for Isabelle the whole way though. I cringed with her, I held my breath, I cheered, I finished the book emotionally exhausted and ready to fucking fight. I haven't felt this pumped up after consuming a story or a piece of media since I went to see Captain Marvel for the first time in theaters, and hot damn, y'all, woman-centric stories that don't revolve around the approval of a man or the need to be petty and spiteful to other women are my jam . I will absolutely be shoving this book in the face of every woman, teenage girl, and preteen female I know, all but begging them to give this book a shot. I read the whole thing in one sitting, the same day I bought it just as a way to pass the time and... mmmm.

I'm gonna try and keep this as spoiler-free as possible, just because I don't want to give anything away, but yeah. On to the genuine criticisms.

Honestly? I didn't have that many. There were a couple of places where I was kind of annoyed, like the catty girl in the village that I wanted rid of, but the way it was handled in relation to Isabelle's story makes me more forgiving, if only for the way she learns to control her temper and not goad more fights out of people that don't really need an excuse. It bothers me that she has to just sit there and take it for her sister's sake, but... maybe that's just because it hits too close to home for some of us. It's a relatively small part of the book and I'm really not too fussed in the long run.

One thing that did throw me at first was the inclusion of the other points of view, like the skip from Isabelle's first chapter in the beginning to the introduction of "Chance," whose band of miscreants and misfits is a little distracting at first, but ultimately entertaining once you figure out how they're involved, and who serves as a sort of 'greater story' framing device for the real world conflicts taking place in the background. "Chance" and "Fate's" cat and mouse game ended up being one of my favorite parts of the underlying tensions in the story, and really helped drive home how make or break Isabelle's ultimate path was, even after she ended up going in a direction no one, not even herself, expected in the end. But it really added to the whole "we make our own path and only we can tell our story" message that ended up getting told as the underlying themes for the whole book. And I can thank it for that.

Right. Now. The big block quote I used up above. Chance decides he needs to tip the scales somewhat, and his whole part of the narrative so far as Isabelle can tell is as a rich eccentric trying to get his misfits and servants to help him put on a play. The play ends up... less a play, and more an inspirational third act speech meant to give Isabelle the push she needs to go and 'do the thing!', and as such it's... kind of cheesy, in hindsight. But at the same time while wrapped up in the story I didn't really notice it save to get super emotional and flaily about how many names were on that list that weren't centered around white western history, and I'm totally here for it. I am absolutely down with the cheese if it brings about the good feels, and the bolster to Isabelle's courage it gave delivered.

I also really like that one of the men driving the story kept pushing that love was what she needed, and automatically brought in a boy to do the job, but it ended up being Isabelle's love for her horse, herself, and her family, and the forgiveness of her step-sister, that really did the trick. Thank you so much Jennifer Donnelly, for not making this be about a man.

I really wish this review could do it more justice, but I'm pushing the limits of my word count as it is, and I don't want to risk repeating the ugly, happy blubbering I was doing at the end of the story. Suffice it to say I ABSOLUTELY recommend this book to anyone who likes fairy tales, feminist stories, girl-centered stories, coming of age stories, fantasies, everyone, really. I can't sum it up any better than Jennifer Donnelly herself in the forward of this book: "To everyone who's ever felt like they're not enough."

SNIIIIFFF. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go eat a pint of ice cream and watch Xena: Warrior Princess reruns with my puppy. Peace!

[befitandchase]

I realized something today

Things just keep getting worse. Last night at dinner, I bought a bottle of wine for the table and ended up drinking most of it myself.

I got home around 10, luckily sober, and fell asleep rather quickly. But at a little past 2am, I got one of the worst Charlie horses in my life. My left leg cramped so badly, I felt absolutely paralyzed by the pain. I tried to sit up and put my feet on the floor in a bid to stop it, but it just got so much worse. Then my right leg began to cramp as well, and I knew I was in trouble. I texted my sister “help” but she didn’t respond, so I called her. Her first question was “are you in your room?” Of course I was. She came in a minute later as I was literally sobbing from the pain and helped massage my leg. After several minutes, the cramps abated, so I said I’m sorry and thank you, went to the bathroom, then went back to bed thinking nothing of it.

I wake up this morning, she’s already at work and my BIL is playing video games on his computer. That’s all fine and dandy. I spend the morning laying in bed reading fic and going through my social media feeds. Mocha decides to be a cute little shit and hops on top of my legs, falling asleep a few minutes later.

I don’t move for two hours because I don’t wanna wake her and my left foot goes numb. Not a bad price to pay for this amount of cuteness.

After she wakes up, my mom calls and says she and my dad are coming over. Ok, sure, fine. It’s not like they stay for more than a few minutes anyway. My sister gets home from work a few minutes later.

Everything seems fine. I’ve got my laundry going. The day feels okay. I’m not stressed about anything. Then my parents get to the house. I’m put on the spot immediately for what happened overnight. And it’s not the typical family ribbing you get that you can brush off. It’s one accusation after another.

“I thought you were drunk!” And “You scared us!” And “You know we couldn’t sleep after that.” That was just my sister and BIL. My parents were just as bad. “You shouldn’t have been drinking so much!” And “Why didn’t you come home earlier?” And all this other shit that made it impossible for me to defend myself. The anxiety hit me lightning fast and I just became completely withdrawn. I mumbled an apology, kept my head down, and stared at my phone the rest of the time.

To complicate things even more, today was one of those days where I really didn’t want to be alone because of dark thoughts throughout the week that kept me on edge, and the 45 minute panic attack I had yesterday morning at work. I just wanted to spend time around people, and I was basically robbed of that as well.

The two friends I have left were working full shifts today, so spending time with them was out of the question. My sister mentioned going out shopping and I would have liked to go, but just asking got me a really resentful sounding “No!”

“But wh-“

“Noooo.”

I haven’t really left my bed since then, and that was over 6 hours ago. So, yeah, hello negative thoughts. Welcome back to being passively suicidal.

On days like today, I really do feel like an afterthought. Like I’m less than human. Like I don’t belong and everybody hates me for being so fucked up that they don’t even want to be seen with me out in public.

It’s okay. I get it. I wouldn’t wanna be seen out in public with myself either. I’m a hot mess with more issues than the New York Times. Not to mention, last night while drunk I had a debate with my friend and her mom about mental health to the point where I actually confessed to having skin picking disorder due to my anxiety because we were talking about the family member who went through with suicide and died earlier this year.

Yes, I know, how does that even relate? Well, apparently toward the last few months of this kids short life, he began cutting between his toes, places that weren’t easily seen, and that he’d been doing it because of “problems at school.” There wasn’t much elaboration on it, but it just prompted me to explain that it was similar to what I was going through in my life. And the worst part about it was basically saying, “You see my face? That’s how my anxiety manifests.” Hence the reason I rarely post selfies (besides the fact that I’m fat and ugly). It’s been getting so much worse this year that not even makeup can cover it because the entire space between my eyebrows is just thick scabs. I’m embarrassed to go out everyday, especially at work where I have to interact with people, but I’ve learned to somehow tune it out and just exist. I’ve been lucky in the simple fact that no one has ever asked me about the scabs and the scars, but I know it’s going to happen someday.

JFC, I’m one hell of a messed up piece of shit human being.

Imma just stop now because this is pretty depressing and I already feel awful about today.

[jarpadandjensenaremyheroes]

Dark Secrets

Written from Dean’s POV.

Word Count: ~3,200 (After lyrics)

Warnings: TW-DOMESTIC ABUSE (not described in detail, but it’s made clear that’s what is going on), swearing, angst, minor fluff, pregnant reader.

Pairing: Dean x Reader

A/n- This is for @casbabydontgoineedyou Katie’s 2k challenge. The song I picked was Daughters by John Mayer and my emotion was Sadness. I kinda accidentally went a little darkside with this after reading all the angst this weekend. I had something fluffier planned, but my brain decided otherwise. Sorry not sorry? Please please please read the trigger warnings. If you are not okay with domestic violence, then DO NOT READ this story. This is unbeta’d, so any and all mistakes are my own. Thanks to @queen-of-deans-booty for the title! It's a little bit jumpy, but it all makes sense in my head. I hope you all like it!

A/n 2- Under no circumstances is any of this ever okay. No one deserves this kind of treatment, no matter what. I am including the numbers for the U.S. and U.K. domestic abuse hotlines. If anyone who reads this note needs the number for another country, please contact me. I will not hesitate to help. You can also reach out to any first responder (Firefighter, Police officer, EMS) and they can help you. They will keep you safe. Please don’t make the same mistake I did and stay. It’s never worth it, and it is not your job to “fix” your abuser. Please be aware that the legal information given in this story may not be accurate for every single case.

U.S. Abuse Hotline 1-800-799-7233

                Website: http://www.thehotline.org/ this website has online chats available (7 am-2am Central time) for anyone who can’t talk on the phone. It also has an Escape! button on the top of the page. Click on that if you are in danger of being seen or fear getting caught, and it redirects to your home page immediately; no wait.

U.K. Abuse Helpline 0808 2000 247

                Website: http://www.nationaldomesticviolencehelpline.org.uk/  this website has information on how to help yourself, how to let others know (discreetly) that you need help, and also has resources that you can access (i.e. women’s shelters). I did not see anything for online chats or the same kind of Escape! Button that the American page has, but I may be wrong. My dinosaur computer doesn’t like foreign websites.

Please feel free to contact me about anything. My ask box and messages are always open!

I know a girl

She puts the color inside of my world

Y/N was one of the best women I’ve ever met. One of the best souls. She was always so kind and forgiving, always seeing the best in others, even monsters. I watched her convince a group of vamps that they have other options, they can live off animal blood instead of human. They don’t need to be monsters and hurt people. And these guys actually did it. They check in with her every now and then and let her know what’s going on. All because she saw people where the rest of us saw soulless beings incapable of good.

She is so pure and good in this world full of evil we live in, and I love her for it. I love her. She’s perfect, really, only she can’t see it. Which is why we’re standing here today. Why I’m kneeling in front of her, begging and pleading for her to come home with me. She is the only person she can’t see the good in; which is ironic, considering how pure she is. Hell, even Cas has commented on how pure and brightly her soul burns. He says it’s entirely untouched by the bad in the world.

Well, it was back then.

I knew something was off the moment I laid eyes on her. She had taken up hunting with her old man, Leo, and new boyfriend, Brandon, about a year or so ago, and looking at her now was like looking at the shed skin of a snake. She looked dull and empty. She didn’t have that glow and sparkle that I fell in love with. When she smiled, it didn’t reach her eyes; and when she laughed, it sounded so hollow.

But, she's just like a maze

Where all of the walls all continually change

And I've done all I can

To stand on her steps with my heart in my hand

Now I'm starting to see

Maybe It's got nothing to do with me

She came up and gave me a hug, squeezing tight, almost as if she was asking me not to let go. Then she looked up and smiled the saddest smile I’ve ever seen. It broke my heart. And then that… that douche nozzle came up behind her and I knew. I knew what was going on right then and there. He was hitting her. Abusing her in the worst ways. What I couldn’t figure out was why her father was allowing it to happen. Until he walked up that is. And then I knew he was in on it. It took everything I had not to beat them both senseless. But I didn’t know if she would come with me, or even feel safe with me after that. So I bit my tongue and was biding my time until I could make this all right for her again.

I finally had a moment alone with her the next day. She was going to the store to get food for the assholes, and I decided to accompany her. As soon as we were a safe distance away from the motel we were all holed up in, I pulled the car over. Turning to her, I noticed she had pulled the sleeves of her shirt down over her hands and was playing with the hem of her too-long and baggy shirt. She had a hole in the thigh of her jeans that looked like it was from running her fingers up and down the same spot over and over again. She won’t even look at me right now.

“Y/N…please look at me honey…” I said as I reached out for her arm. The second my fingers brushed it, she was crying out in pain and yanking her arm away. She hid her face in the corner of the door, cradling her arm against her chest and taking ragged breaths.

“Y/N you need to let me see that. Please tell me what’s going on here!”

She turned to me with a horrified look on her face. “I know what you’re thinking, and you’re wrong. I got hurt on the last hunt we went on. Angry ghost threw me against a bookshelf and I sprained my wrist real bad. That’s why I’m not hunting this time around. Gotta let it rest…” She gave me a half –hearted smile, and I wasn’t buying it for a second.

Doing my best not to frighten her, I slowly reached over and pulled on her sleeve.

“Dean please no. please, just leave it alone… I don’t want you to see-” she broke off into sobs when I revealed a very swollen wrist with a black and blue handprint on it.

Trying not to lose my cool, I gently tugged her shirt off. I gasped when I saw just how bad it was. The bastards were smart enough not to leave bruises where they could be easily seen, minus the handprint on her wrist. Her back and ribcage were both covered in marks. Some of them were so defined; you could see the actual fist marks. Her shoulders, even the top half of her upper arms were littered with an ugly rainbow of purple’s, green’s, and blue’s.

Fathers, be good to your daughters

Daughters will love like you do

Girls become lovers who turn into mothers

So mothers be good to your daughters too

When I was trying to assess just how bad the damage was, she whimpered and wrapped her arms around her stomach. That’s when I realized her belly wasn’t flat like it normally was, and that was the only part of her that wasn’t marked up. I swallowed hard, trying to keep the bile from coming up. I was so repulsed by these two men that I was actually going to be sick.

“Y/N…” I said softly. “Are you… are you pregnant?”

She cried harder as she nodded once. The sound of broken sobs filled the air of the car and I tried my best to hold her together. I knew she had some broken ribs and sobbing like this wasn’t doing her any favors.

I gently stroked her back and hair as I kissed her head. “Shh, baby girl, it’s alright now. You’re safe. I won’t let them touch you ever again.”

I pulled my flannel around her so she didn’t have to put her shirt back on and held her close to me while I drove us to the nearest hospital. I took her inside, where a nurse told me they had to talk to her alone for a few minutes before I would be allowed back in. I called Sam and told him what was going on, made sure he wouldn’t say or do anything to Leo or Mark, just in case she wasn’t ready to face that yet. I wanted to get her to safety first, then we could beat the shit out of these guys.

They finally called me back to be with her after the police talked to us both. She explained to the officer in her room that I was not the one who had hurt her, simply the friend who cared enough to make it stop. A nurse came in as the officer was leaving and began examining Y/N’s bruises. Before long, she had one of those portable x-ray machines in the room and was taking scans of Y/N’s arm and chest. Once she had them, she scurried away to confer with a doctor.

She looked lifeless. Her skin was pale and her hair hung limp around her face. Her eyes were dull and empty now, no longer bright and full of life like they once were. I didn’t think I would be able to feel anything other than rage, but this… This makes me so sad. Sad that she has been dealing with this for the last year, and I wasn’t there to stop it. Sad that she felt stuck, because she had nowhere else to go and was carrying this man’s child. Sad because she was once so bright and full of life, everything you would see in a classic Disney princess; and now she is just…there. She’s not living, she’s simply existing. And I think that is the saddest part of it all.

She sat with her legs hanging off the side of the bed, while she stared at her hands in her lap. Seizing the opportunity of us being alone, I knelt down at her feet, wrapping my hands around the backs of her calves.

“Y/N, you don’t have to do this anymore. You can come with me and Sammy back to the bunker. You’ll have your own space, and we can clear out another room for a nursery. You aren’t alone. I won’t force you to come with us, but I will stop you from going back with Brandon and Leo. Not only are you putting yourself at risk, but you are also putting your baby at risk now. And what happens if the baby comes and they get out of control? I know it’s awful to think like that, but you have to understand the possibilities here. Even the horribly grim ones. So please, please come home with me. I’ll take care of you and that child. I already love you, and I’m positive I won’t be able to keep myself from loving that baby too, so please, let me help you.”

She looked at me with tears in her eyes. “Dean how can you love me? I’m nothing. I don’t deserve any of this. I’m going to be a horrible mother and screw my kid up in the worst ways possible. I’m nobody. I don’t deserve love. I’m not good enough for that.”

Oh, you see that skin?

It's the same she's been standing in

Since the day she saw him walking away

Now she's left cleaning up the mess he made

I slowly moved my hand to cup her cheek, smiling when she didn’t flinch.

“I know you won’t hurt me Dean. Not like they do…” she whispered.

“You’re right. I never will. You know why?” She turned her face up to meet my eyes with her own. “Because you deserve better. You deserve to be doted on and pampered. You deserve to have someone that will make you happy. You deserve to have someone at your side that will always love you no matter what. You are the best person, you are going to be the most wonderful mother to that child, and you are somebody very important. You’re fucking Y/N. You know how badass that chick is? Dude, she got a whole nest of vamps to go vegan! Who does that?! " I exclaimed while she giggled softly. "The best kind of person, that’s who.”

“I need you to tell me again. Tell me you weren’t joking about loving me, and helping me. Tell me you’ll keep me safe and help me raise this baby. ‘Cause if you weren’t serious Dean, I… I don’t know if I could handle that kind of cruelty…”

“Of course! Those are not joking matters, Y/N. Of course I was serious. I love you, and I’ll love this child like my own. Hell, this kid will be mine, no questions asked. I’ve always wanted kids. You can even put me on the birth certificate if you want.”

Just then a radiology tech came in with an ultrasound machine. “Time to take a look at that little human you’re growing Miss Y/L/N! You ready?”

I could tell she was nervous, so I just wrapped her hand in both of mine as she nodded and laid back on the gurney. I watched as she flinched when the cold gel hit her belly, and then as she tensed when the tech pressed on her with the wand.

“Shh it’s okay sweetheart,” I soothed her. “She’s gotta press a little to make sure she can see the baby. She won’t hurt you.”

The tech looked up in shock and seemed to just notice the bruising. “Oh dear I am so sorry! I had no idea. I should have warned you. If it will help you feel more relaxed and safe, I can walk you through what I’m doing before and while I’m doing it. Would that help?”

Y/N just nodded, one stray tear slipping down her cheek. The tech began talking about what she was doing and how she was looking for the baby when finally, a rapid whooshing sound could be heard coming from the monitor.

“That’s your baby’s heartbeat! Baby looks very healthy, a little small for how far along you are, but healthy otherwise. You look about 16 weeks along. A few more weeks and you’ll be able to tell if it’s a boy or a girl! Have you been able to start and prenatal or other vitamins? It’s not a big deal if you haven’t; it just helps us decide what to give you to help you heal faster and take great care of that new little one!”

I was surprised to see Y/N nodding. I didn’t think they would let her take anything. “I’ve managed to take them almost every other day. I had them hidden, and I couldn’t always get to them…” she said very quietly.

“That’s great, dear. You are so brave! You’re gonna be an amazing mother, already protecting that little one the way you do. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.” She got up with a pat on Y/N’s hand and handed her some print-outs of her scan.

As the tech was leaving, one of the nurses and a doctor came in; the doctor was holding x-rays. I was nervous to hear the damage report.

He put the x-rays up on the little light up board and started pointing at some of them. “So, we have good news and bad news, Miss Y/L/N. The good news is, you are going to heal quite nicely thanks to Mr. Tyler getting you to us so quickly. The bad news is, you have 4 broken ribs and a fractured wrist. Now, the wrist will need a cast for about 6 weeks, but the ribs will be a little more painful. Since you are 16 weeks along already, your body is going to be rapidly growing from this point forward. Your ribs are unfortunately not going to heal completely before you have your baby. But we can manage the pain with some medications that are safe for you and baby y/l/n there.”

Y/N just nodded her head in agreement before the doctor continued.

“Now, I know situations like this can be scary, but you need to consider filing charges. And before you say no, let me explain something first. If you file charges, and they go to the D.A., you can speak to her and drop the charges. Once you drop the charges, the state can choose to continue with the case and trial and you may be able to be left out of it 100%. That all being said, I know that is still terrifying. But I urge you to do something that will keep these men out of your life, and more importantly, out of your child’s life. If this is something you cannot do right this moment, I understand. Please note that we do keep your pictures and x-rays on file for at least 1 full year, and you can file charges at any point during that time span.”

Y/N shut down half way through the doctor’s speech. I doubt she even heard the last part. I gave him assurances that she would be safe with me and my brother, as would the child, and he seemed pleased that she trusted me. They wanted to keep her a little while longer and I knew it wouldn’t be long before Leo and Mark started losing their shit. I knew I needed to get her somewhere safe until Sam and I could take care of them.

After another hour, Sam was texting me; they were furious she had been gone so long and he wasn’t sure what to do.

“Y/N, I need you to tell me right now what you want. Do you want to stay with me and Sam? I’m pretty sure that’s what you want, but I can’t make that decision without you saying it. I need you to say it, baby girl.”

“Yes. I want to stay with you Dean.” The tears spilled over her cheeks again. “Please… Please keep us safe Dean. I can handle them. I can deal with it. But this baby won’t be able to. I need… I need this baby to be safe and loved. Please, don’t make me go back to them. I don’t know if I’ll even survive!”

The panic became clear once more as sobs racked her small body and she clutched at her ribs and belly. I wrapped my arms around her as best I could without causing more pain and tried to calm her down. Once she stopped sobbing, she fell asleep against my shoulder. I gently laid her back on the bed so I could call Sam.

“Dean! Where are you man? I don’t know how much longer I can hold these two here. They’re foaming at the mouth to go find her!”

“Yeah well she’s staying with us. They’re not coming anywhere near her again. I don’t care what they do, but you get the hell out of there and go somewhere else. We’ll pick you up.”

“I don’t care what we do Dean, I just wanna get her to safety. I hate this mess.”

“So do I. We’ll all get out of this just fine. Don’t worry. She’s safe with us.”

“I know. I’ll see you soon? I’ll text you where I end up.”

“Sounds good. See you soon.”

Click.

I ran a hand down my face as I stood there watching Y/N sleep. It looked peaceful, but I could see the way her face twitched. I knew she was having a nightmare.

So fathers, be good to your daughters

Daughters will love like you do

Girls become lovers who turn into mothers

So mothers be good to your daughters too

I don’t know how things will turn out in the long run. I don’t know if Brandon and Leo will cut their losses and stop looking for her. But I do know that I love her, and this baby, irrevocably. I do know that I won’t let those bastards lay a finger on her ever again. I do know that she will be safe, happy, and loved with me and Sam. She’ll have the best family one could ever hope for in this life, and I’ll spend the rest of my life showing her how a woman should be treated. She’ll never have to go through any of that again.

On behalf of every man

Looking out for every girl

You are the God and weight of her world

So fathers, be good to your daughters

Daughters will love like you do

Girls become lovers who turn into mothers

So mothers be good to your daughters too

So mothers be good to your daughters too

So mothers be good to your daughters too

***So I had a completely different story for this challenge planned in my head, but it wasn’t flowing onto paper. At all. And after threats of turning this whole week into “Angst Appreciation Week” I decided to jump on that bandwagon. Might as well, right? I *may* write a part 2 if y’all like it enough. Let me know what you think!***

@spn-dean-and-sam-winchester

@queen-of-deans-booty