#unclehood

[m121akuma-blog]

My five and a half year old nephew just beat the Traitor Lord without Cloth in one go what the fuck am I doing with my life.

[artistkaila17]

Jake Gyllenhaal has a children's book called the secret society of Aunts and Uncles. That's very cute. 💖☺️

[ishipgenfics]

Cuckoo-Vipers Continued: Part 2

Still based on Cuckoo-Vipers by @muffinlance! Go read it if you haven’t, its great. Also go read my first post about it if you want to know who Asagao is. 

“Daughter, please,” Dad said, standing in front of the wall of blue fire. “Get down from there.”

Asagao frowned. “Mom said I could.”

“She what--”

Dad turned towards Mommy, who shrugged. “If she wants to start making friends with the new Firelord, who am I to stop her?”

Dad sighed. “Daughter. Please. Do not go with Azula.”

Cousin Azula’s grip around her tightened, and her voice echoed throughout the hall of the Fire Lord. “This may be rude to say, Iroh, but I don’t particularly believe you have a choice.”

Dad took a step towards the throne. “Niece--”

Azula’s eyes narrowed, and Asagao thought she could see lightning prickling at her fingertips. “You. Don’t get to call me that.” 

“Niece, please.” Dad looked... scared. Asagao didn’t understand why. Cousin Azula was scary, sure, but only to people who deserved it, like Scary-Fire-Man and Rat-Weasel. She wouldn’t hurt Dad!

... but there was lightning at Azula’s fingertips.

Azula tugged at the fancy Fire Lord robes. “’Zula?” she whispered.

Cousin Azula looked down, eyes softening slightly. It wouldn’t have been noticeable to anyone else, but Asagao could /tell/. “Yes?”

“Don’t hurt Dad, please. He’s not like the rat-weasel and he’s a weaker dragon than you. The dragons by your side would miss him if he was gone.”

Asagao was becoming farely fluent in Azula-speak. 

Azula sighed deeply. “Very well, little dragon.”

Her gaze settled on Dad. “You. Go.” 

Asagao frowned.  She wanted to tell Dad about all the stuff she did, about how well she’d firebent, about how she’d met the Avatar! But there was time, she supposed.

Mommy turned to leave after him, but Azula held up a hand. “You, go get my brother. He’s probably off feeding the turtleducks, or something else inane. And the Avatar too, if he hasn’t already run off.” There was a flicker of genuine worry in this bright golden eyes, and Asagao patted her leg. 

Mommy nodded, and walked out of the room, heels clicking on the cold stone floor. 

Asagao gasped. “I get to meet the Avatar?” 

Azula smirked. “Why yes, you do, if the new dragon can find him. He’s not as impressive as you think he is though. Nothing but a little rabbit mouse who breathes fire and thinks himself a dragon.” 

“How did you meet him?” Asagao asked. 

“Please, Azula,” said a new voice, coming from a person standing in the doorway to the throne room. He looked almost exactly like Cousin Azula. Her cheekbones were a little sharper, maybe,eyes a little less gold, but that was it. If she didn’t know better, she’d think they were twins. “Don’t subject her to your stories.”

Azula crossed her arms. “I am perfectly fine at telling stories, thank you very much.”

Zuko winced. “Azula... most of your stories go, I shot fire. Then he/she/they/an annoying rock died. The end.” 

“Is anything else really necessary?”

Zuko’s eyes went wide. “You- you have to have tension!” he said, gesturing wildly. “Character investment! Plot arcs! You can’t just--” 

“Cousin Zuko!” Asagao said, interrupting the oncoming theater rant. In the throne next to her, Azula let out a quiet sigh of relief. 

“Who are you-- oh,” Cousin Zuko said. “Iroh’s daughter.”

Asagao nodded furiously. “Mhm! I like turtleducks too!”

“Is that so?” Cousin Zuko said. He stepped forward, onto the dais, the blue flames parting around him. Azula did not move to block his path. 

Asagao beamed. “Yeah!” She glanced back and forth. Azula. Zuko. Azula. Zuko. “Woah, you look so similar. If you wore the same clothes I’d never be able to tell you apart!” 

“Really?” Zuko said. 

Asagao giggled. “Well, I guess the voices would give you away a little.”

Some sort of realization seemed to come over Zuko. “Lala--”

“Don’t call me that,” Azula hissed.

Zuko smirked. “Sorry, /Fire Lord/ Lala. Where is Iroh?”

“Oh you know. Here and there.”

“Azula. Please tell me you didn’t /steal/ our baby cousin.”

Azula sniffed. “She’d be better off with me anyway Dum Dum. And I am the Firelord. It’s not like Uncle Useless could do anything to stop me.”

Asagao piped up, eager to be part of the conversation. “She’s really smart. She’s taught me about rat-weasels and dragons and all kinds of stuff!”

Zuko’s brow furrowed. “Rat... weasels? Azula--”

But she never got to hear what Cousin Zuko might have said, because a guard rushed into the hall.

“Fire Lord Azula,” he said, panting. “The Avatar’s bending masters have landed in the courtyard.”

[kingjasnah]

its been soooo long since i read elantris but im too scared to reread it cause what if hrathen isnt as fucking funny as i remember

[lemonlover1110]

𝐈 𝐖𝐀𝐍𝐓 𝐀 𝐁𝐀𝐁𝐘!

Pairing: Toji Fushiguro x f!Reader

Summary: Toji doesn't want another baby, and there's nothing you can do about it, so you come to terms with it.

Warnings: Pure Fluff

Discord +18 - Twitter - Ko-Fi

Toji doesn’t get baby fever. Out of the two of you, you’re the only one that squeals around a cute baby. Toji already knows parenthood, and he’s changed way too many diapers and done way too many late night feedings to know that he never wants to do them again.

Babies are cute, but at this point in life, he’d rather just be an uncle. He gets to hold and play with the baby, but gets to give them back when an accident happens. Unclehood is much better than parenthood, dare he say. He gets to do all the fun stuff and none of the bad stuff.

He doesn’t really want to do it all again, and there’s nothing that you can do to change his mind.

“Toji!” You yell from Megumi’s bedroom, and the man walks to the bedroom, annoyed. The man loves you to death, but he hears his name way too many times in this home.

He sighs, leaning against the doorframe as you open up a box. He makes his annoyance clear as he asks, “What?”

“I’m cleaning out Megumi’s closet, and look what I found.” You hold up the cutest onesie, one that fit six month old baby Megumi, something that feels like eons ago. Toji raises his brows, a smile coming to his lips.

“What? Are you thinking of having one?” Toji asks, and he’s surprised when you shake your head. It’s the first time you shake your head to that question. “Then what’s this?”

“Shouldn’t we donate it? Since we’re not having a baby, we don’t need these.” You tell him, and Toji can’t help but agree. There’s no way Megumi is going to fit into one of these onesies, even if he truly tried. 

“Let me help you.” He says, sitting down on the floor with you. You look at him, perking up your brows.

“What came over you? Suddenly being so helpful.” You chuckle, and Toji rolls his eyes as he grabs a onesie from the box. Why does it feel so small? He didn’t recall them being so small. “Who are you and what did you do with my husband?”

“Whatever happened to you wanting a baby? Who are you and what did you do with my wife?” Toji responds, wondering why now of all time you aren’t blabbering about how a baby would be a perfect addition to the house. These clothes are just so small and so adorable…

“I mean, we agreed to not have kids when we got married since you were done with that. It’s just unfair of me to ask for a baby when I know you don’t want more… So I accepted it.” You smile at him, feeling proud of yourself for this newfound maturity. Toji’s glad you’ve come to terms with it, because he was sure getting sick of it. 

He reaches into the box again, pulling out a pair of socks. He purses his lips together before looking at you. He didn’t remember babies having such small feet. “I’m glad that you–”

“I mean what’s even cool about babies? They’re cute, and nothing else. Then you have to…” You continue talking about the cons of babies, while Toji pulls out more and more clothes from the box. It seems to be getting smaller and smaller. His heart gets weaker with each item and he fights back the wicked thoughts. He can’t possibly be having… baby fever.

“Babies aren’t that great. Never have I looked at Megumi and thought ‘Oh I wish you were a stinky baby again.’ ” Toji says, but he pauses when he realizes that he’s had that thought before, way too many times. You chuckle before you quietly continue your task. Toji chews on the inside of his cheek, when he realizes something that he wishes he could push out of his mind.

He doesn’t want to be the one to bring it up, but you said you were done with asking. The umpteenth time is the charm or whatever they say. Toji hopes that by saying, “Oh, Megumi was just the chubbiest and sleepiest baby.” You’ll come to your senses. You have to go back to your duty of being the wife that annoys her husband for a baby, and this time around he’ll finally agree.

“Yeah, they’re sleepy until it’s three in the morning, then they’ll wake up.” You argue, not noticing what Toji is trying to do.

“He had the cutest sneezes.” Toji brings up.

“Yeah, means they’re sick because they put their hands on everything and then shove them in their mouths.”

“He was so cute when he laughed…”

“Have you heard how they cry? That easily outweighs that.” You don’t even notice how he’s putting the clothes back into the box. You keep taking out the same clothes, wondering why he had so many of the same set.

“For fuck’s sake! I want a baby.” Toji finally confesses, ashamed that he’s the one that has to bring it up. Your eyes widen, a smile coming to your lips before you practically jump on him to kiss him.

You kiss him over and over again, and Toji doesn’t want to fight you on it right now, but he has to put his hand over your lips when he senses the kiss leading to something else. He tells you, “Not in Megumi’s bedroom.”

“Right.” You laugh out of embarrassment, getting up from the floor and giving him a hand to do the same. 

He’s never seen you use so much force before as you drag him out of the bedroom. But it’s nice to see that you hadn’t really changed your mind, after all, that makes his job easier.

[sakasakiii]

uncle nolo and little maedhros shenanigans is a concept that lives rent free in my head and i had the draft for this comic sitting in my head since november 🕺 it likely takes place a few years after nelyo was born before nolo married, and unlike arafinwe who leapt shamelessly into unclehood, he was a lot more reserved and hesitant to even interact with his nephew for fear of deepening feanor's distaste even more HHAHA

bonus in which nolo's fears are proven true:

the cute sparkle bg i used can be found on cartoon network's website !

[retr0scum]

AU where Uka Uka is just some tired grumpy ass, not evil, just an old fart who's not ready for unclehood

[lazorbeanz]

Tails: “so now that you 2 are officially together, I have a very important question to ask…

When are they coming?”

Amy: “when are who coming?”

Tails: “the kids”

A very flustered Sonic after choking on air for a solid minute: “WOAH, WOAH, b-buddy, we ain’t having any, ANY time soon…

An also very flustered Amy: “Y-yeah…I mean we’re not even married yet-”

Tails: “welp, better get to it! It’s Time for me to move on to new, more responsible, important stages of life…

..✨UNCLEHOOD✨”

Based off a tag from @number-one-shadisper-shipper lololol

[ceaselesssong]

I’ve created a Homestuck Family Tree.

Some observations:

- Harry Anderson is both Yiffanys cousin and Uncle, and while he’s not Technically dating Tavros the whole affair verges on incestuous, as Tavros is Harry’s Uncle. Not that incest is much of a problem in Homestuck. But.

- Through a few leaps in logic, Jade is siblings with a Sword, a Cat, and Doc Scratch.

- I have no idea how to categorize Calliopes relationship to Doc Scratch. She’s sort of… part of him. If Doc Scratch inherits unclehood from Hal, would he inherit siblinghood from Caliborn.

Now, time to tag all 53 characters

[prettyboykatsuki]

uncle astarion is the auntie who picks you up from a night of revelry u know you shouldn't be at- but he doesn't let ya'll leave until after he gets a couple of free drinks for not busting the celebration

no literally. like he always has your back and tells you not to be stupid but he rlly thinks its good for you to be a little stupid. i also think he is categorically bad with children but unclehood makes him a patron saint and that is so very fun to me. like yes he's going to pick you up from the party and no he wont tell your dad but that liquor cabinet needs to be loaded up in his backseat first.

like esp when kids are babies he's like ????? but i think his honorary nieces and nephews stick to him like glue which is so funny. hes so funny

[awholeclxwn]

congrats on unclehood, i hope you get to be the chill cool uncle everyone loves

THANK YOU!!!!!

the baby is so silly n lil hes just a lil guy,,,,

i went out of state to help take care of em!! 😋 but now im finally heading home!!! im getting on a plane ❗❗❗

[peachshadows]

Brotherhood? Don’t you mean Unclehood? A-Dan has collected all her Uncles (and Auntie) and has them wrapped around her finger. They may not be the most loyal friends for Wukong and Macaque, but they are ride or die Uncles for A-Dan.

They’d def fight against the Canon Team to keep her, right?

YEAHHHH THAT'S WHAT IM TALKING ABOUT!!

The brotherhood (and the entire sundown world atp) definitely is not gonna let A-Dan or MK go just like that. Hands will be flying and heads will be rolling for those two

[morganee]

Byler Fic Rec Week - Day 7: Self promotion

right where you left me by mogiah (15k, complete)

The D&D set is still open, the last campaign still unplayed, unfinished. Will’s campaign. He’s not going to touch it. It can stay there. It’s not like the basement has ever been tidy. Mike drops on the couch and he feels miserable but he can’t leave. Something keeps him anchored to that place and he figures that, even if one of the most important pieces of it is now gone, the memories are still there and he can live in them. That, somehow, makes sense in his mind. or The Byers just left Hawkins and Mike has a hard time moving on.

under the limelight by mogiah (13k, complete)

Will thought junior year would be many things but stressful definitely wasn't one of them. The year before senior year was meant to be peachy, relaxing – as relaxing as high school can be – and most importantly, it was meant to be fun. Sure, he had taken into account the possibility of being stressed for a few months but it isn’t exams that are currently stressing him out. It’s Mike. Or better, it’s the school play Mike is in. or Mike decides to join drama club.

the sound of a new start by mogiah (9k, complete)

When Nancy and Jonathan announce they're expecting their first child, Will and Mike start to ponder on some aspects of their life together. or Will and Mike's journey to unclehood.  

[everythingshiny]

My Jiang Cheng modern au is now complete!

Thank you to everyone for reading ♥

Running Out of Things to Hold (61498 words) by everythingsshiny Chapters: 14/14 Fandom: 陈情令 | The Untamed (TV), 魔道祖师 - 墨香铜臭 | Módào Zǔshī - Mòxiāng Tóngxiù Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Jiāng Chéng | Jiāng Wǎnyín/Lán Huàn | Lán Xīchén, Jiāng Chéng | Jiāng Wǎnyín & Jīn Líng | Jīn Rúlán, Lán Zhàn | Lán Wàngjī/Wèi Yīng | Wèi Wúxiàn Characters: Jiāng Chéng | Jiāng Wǎnyín, Lán Huàn | Lán Xīchén, Jīn Líng | Jīn Rúlán, Wèi Yīng | Wèi Wúxiàn, Lán Zhàn | Lán Wàngjī, Lán Yuàn | Lán Sīzhuī Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Parenthood, (well unclehood), florist!Jiang Cheng, teacher!lan xichen, angsty teen!jin ling, wangxian wedding planning, Angst and Fluff, Angst with a Happy Ending, Slow Burn, most characters dead in canon are dead at the start of this fic, Family Dynamics, jin ling's Been Through It poor kid, jiang cheng is not good at parenting but he tries (oh my god does he try) Summary: Jiang Cheng does not have time to be a best man at Wei Wuxian's wedding. Not only does he have to run the family business all by himself, but he also has to raise his teenage nephew - a task that's starting to feel increasingly impossible. The last thing he needs is to waste time planning Wei Wuxian's wedding. Especially when it means working with his stupidly attractive, insufferably nice fellow best man, Lan Xichen.

[doom-cookie1]

oooh for the wip ask game: something in the water & student hand book!!

Something in the water: a Shadow and Bone AU where pre-canon Aleksander gets fatherhood (unclehood?) foisted upon him in the form of his own niece, Ulla's daughter, who is also a Shadow Summoner.

I have absolutely nothing written for it yet.

Student Handbook: 😳😳😳 yeah, this is one of those 'should not see the light of day' fics. It is a smutty john wick x reader that takes place in a private school AU. It's some of the only smut I've ever written. Chapter titles are 1. Dress Code Violation, 2. Playing Hookey, 3. Teachers Pet, 4. Graduation.

I still have not finished chapter 1.

[burntotears]

Some Sentences Sunday

Have some Hobbs and Alex talking in the middle of the night about him being a dad in the marriage!verse kidfic.

“That’s all very admirable,” Hobbs said, ever the realist, “but how do you plan on handling this when your husband just started school and you literally created a clandestine pro-alien, anti-government operation out of your own living room?”

He wasn’t wrong; it was already going to be a challenge to juggle their current lives without adding a child into the mix. That still didn’t change the outcome. “I was hoping my friends and family would help out,” Alex said, eying him pointedly.

Hobbs looked unimpressed. “So after my first mission you expect to make me an uncle just like that?”

Alex shrugged. “It was going to happen eventually.”

“Was it?” Hobbs looked skeptical. “Pretty sure the few times we ever discussed kids you were of the ‘no fucking way in hell’ variety. And I know it wasn’t just because you’re gay.”

“Things change. I was still stuck pretty far up my father’s ass at that point.”

Hobbs raised an eyebrow. “Oh that changed?”

“Fuck you,” Alex shot back, his tone low.

“So the truth is that you and Guerin only talked about this recently. Like after you tied the knot.” It wasn’t a question, but it didn’t need to be. Hobbs knew him well enough by now. 

Alex didn’t see the need to respond affirmatively. “It’s not easy, but… obviously I know I’m better off without him. And that the bar to surpass for fatherhood has basically been set on the ground.”

Hobbs stood up from the table and got them both beers from the fridge. He pointed the neck of his bottle at Alex. “Yet you still think you’ll screw some other kid up as much as he did you.”

“Not physically, but yeah.” Alex popped the cap off his bottle against the edge of the table and took a long drink.

“Well you are fucked up, Manes,” Hobbs said unrepentantly, “but that wouldn’t make you a bad dad. And there’s fuck all I think you could manage to do that would churn out a kid like Manes senior.”

“Thanks?”

His friend shrugged. “I know Michael’s already told you this shit; you sure as hell don’t need my validation.”

“I guess not. Your validation isn’t worth shit anyway.” Alex smirked.

“You’re not wrong. Which is why you should rethink letting me around your hellspawn. You know my approach to unclehood would be better suited to the money in a birthday card once a year sort of thing.”

Alex scoffed at that. “Right because your nagging me about my leg all the time just screams ‘I don’t give a fuck about your wellbeing’.”

Hobbs frowned instantly. “That’s different.”

“Is it?”

“You fucking know that it is, Alex.”