#underpants gnomes song

[spinthetags]

SOUTH PARK MARCH MADNESS! ROUND 1, MATCHUP 5:

You can refresh your memory on Mountain Town and Underpants Gnomes Work Song by following the hyperlinks! Happy voting!

[south-park-polls]

South Park Song Tournament: Round 2!

[make sure to follow @votemattrey for more south park related polls!]

Thank you all so much for the engagement you've shown with round one of my tournament! Round 2 will begin tomorrow!

The songs still in the tournament are as follows:

South Park Theme Song

I'm Gonna Make Love to You, Woman - Cartman Gets an Anal Probe (S1 E1)

The Lonely Jew on Christmas - Mr Hankey the Christmas Poo (S1 E9)

Chocolate Salty Balls - Chef's Chocolate Salty Balls (S2 E9)

Underpants Gnomes Work Song - Gnomes (S2 E17)

I Hate You Guys - Jakovasaurs (S3 E4)

Mr Hankey the Christmas Poo - Mr Hankey's Christmas Classics (S3 E15)

Carol of the Bells - Mr Hankey's Christmas Classics (S3 E15)

Christmas Time in Hell - Mr Hankey's Christmas Classics (S3 E15)

Dreidel, Dreidel, Dreidel - Mr Hankey's Christmas Classics (S3 E15)

Merry Fucking Christmas - Mr Hankey's Christmas Classics (S3 E15)

O Holy Night - Mr Hankey's Christmas Classics (S3 E15)

Fingerbang - Something You Can Do With Your Finger (S4 E8)

Wendy's Audition Song - Something You Can Do With Your Finger (S4 E8)

It's Butters! - Butters' Very Own Episode (S5 E14)

Montage - Asspen (S6 E2)

Sea People and Me - The Simpsons Already Did It (S6 E7)

The Ballad of Lemmiwinks - The Death Camp of Tolerance (S6 E14)

Bleeding Heart Rock Protest Song vs. Pro War Country Song - I'm a Little Bit Country (S7 E4)

Taco Flavoured Kisses - Fat Butt and Pancake Head (S7 E5)

Faith + 1 Album - Christian Rock Hard (S7 E9)

Casa Bonita - Casa Bonita (S7 E11)

French Canada - It's Christmas in Canada (S7 E15)

Let's Fighting Love - Good Times with Weapons (S8 E1)

My Robot Friend - AWESOM-O (S8 E5)

I've Got Some Apples - Stupid Spoiled Whore Video Playset (S8 E12)

Make It Right - The Death of Eric Cartman (S9 E6)

Love Lost Long Ago - Follow That Egg! (S9 E10)

We Can Live Together - Ginger Kids (S9 E11)

I am the Dawg - Miss Teacher Bangs a Boy (S10 E10)

California Loves the Homeless - Night of the Living Homeless (S11 E7)

Imagination Song - Imaginationland (S11 E10-12)

Canada on Strike - Canada on Strike (S12 E4)

Super Fun Time - Super Fun Time (S12 E7)

You Gotta Do What You Wanna Do - Elementary School Musical

Gay Fish - Fishsticks (S13 E5)

Poker Face - Whale Whores (S13 E11)

Minorities at my Water Park - Pee (S13 E14)

You and Cthulhu - Mysterion Rises (S14 E12)

Work Mexican Work - The Last of the Meheecans (S15 E9)

I'm Not the Poorest Kid in School - The Poor Kid (S15 E4)

Make Bullying Kill Itself - Butterballs (S16 E5)

Jackin' it in San Diego - Butterballs (S16 E5)

I Swear - Cartman Finds Love (S16 E7)

Princess Kenny Theme - A Song of Ass and Fire (S17 E8)

My Bitch Ain't No Hobbit - The Hobbit (S17 E10)

Push (Feeling Good on a Wednesday) - The Cissy (S18 E3)

The Tale of Craig's Mom's Bush - The Magic Bush (S18 E5)

The Yelper Special (Boogers and Cum) - You're Not Yelping (S19 E4)

The Ballad of Tweek and Craig - Tweek x Craig (S19 E6)

Put It Down - Put It Down (S21 E2)

I Love You Social Distancing - The Pandemic Special

Mountain Town - South Park: Biggger, Longer & Uncut

Uncle Fucka - South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut

It's Easy Mmkay - South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut

Blame Canada - South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut

Kyle's Mom's a Bitch - South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut

What Would Brian Boitano Do - South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut

Up There - South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut

La Resistance - South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut

I Can Change - South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut

I'm Super - South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut

We Missed You Randy - South Park: The Streaming Wars

I Got Cred, Bitches - South Park (Not Suitable For Children)

[spsongsbracket]

Welcome to the South Park songs bracket! We're currently accepting submissions for songs.

Rules: Songs must have lyrics, and covers count.

The current list is as follows:

The BLU Soundtrack

Mr. Hankey's Christmas Classics

All of Chef Aid

I'm Gonna Make Love To You Woman

Poker Face (Cartman)

Put It Down

Fingerbang

You Gotta Do What You Wanna Do

California Love

Jackin' it in San Diego

Hey People, You Gotta Drive Hybrids

Make Bullying Kill Itself

My Wish For Cuba

Rebecca

Underpants Gnomes

Lemmiwinks

Lets Fighting Love

Getting Gay With Kids

Sexual Harassment Panda

Gay Fish

Queef Free

Minorities at my Waterpark

Joseph Smith was Called a Prophet

I've Got Some Apples

Push (Feeling Good on a Wednesday)

We Are All Living in the Future

The Ballad of Tweek and Craig

The goal is to maybe do this in October, but there are so many songs in SP I'm not sure when this list will be "complete" enough.

[derivativealigner]

Well, I’m done rewatching season 2 of south park and I’ve taken plenty of notes and screenshots to document all the facts and tidbits I thought were interesting or just funny. Under the cut is a collection of notes where I progressively start caring more and more about fake children

Kenny’s house is full of empty bottles, his family eats frozen waffles for dinner, and his dad is drinking at the dinner table

Kenny’s and Kyle’s dads have some history. They were best friends as teenagers

Kenny’s dad is kind of anti-Semitic, he says Kyle’s dad was successful because he’s Jewish

Cartman kind of expresses agreement with Stuart’s anti-Semitism, which I think is the first time Cartman’s been clearly anti-Semitic

Kenny’s house has rats, but his room has lights that shut off when you clap twice

WOW KYLE wtf he says “Kenny's not really my friend, Ma. I don't give a rat's ass about him.” FUCKING RUDE

Kyle and Kenny have a fun little sleepover where they play “ookie mouth”, a game where they take turn spitting in each other’s mouths. This episode (S02E10 Chickenpox) is great for fans of K2 despite how absolutely disgusting ookie mouth is

The McCormick house was something Stuart and Gerald built as teenagers. A fort in Stuart’s mom’s backyard

Gerald went to community college

Gerald and Stuart have a fun fist fight by a pond

Kyle makes a haiku: Fatass Cartman was / not on the school bus today. / What a big, fat turd.

Kenny makes a haiku: When you rub your dick, / you might find a discharge that / winds up on the floor.

Kyle makes another: Ass full of pork fat / jiggles like a Jello mold. / Mouth is flapping, too.

And another by Kyle: I bet you don't win. / They don't let big fat asses / perform on TV.

Cartman responds: Shut your God-damned mouth / or else I'm... gonna... kick you / square in the balls... asshole

I spy with my desperate eye the beginnings of Craig’s gang, featuring Kenny with wonky eyes

Bebe thinks Kyle has a hot ass and she’s not shy about saying it

Bebe writes a note to Kyle, and Stan tries to pass it on but Mr. Garrison thinks it’s Stan’s note for Kyle and makes him read it out loud. So he reads: “Dear Kyle. You have got such a great ass. I could sleep for days on those perked cheeks, let me tell you. I'd like to live with you and wear your ass as a hat for all eternity.” (If that happened to me I’d be embarrassed forever)

POV: You’re Stan and you just said you love Kyle’s juicy ass in front of the whole 3rd grade class

The first time Stan’s mom and dad get a divorce is in S02E12, way sooner than I remembered

Bebe kisses Kyle when they’re playing truth or dare in their clubhouse, probably Kyle’s first kiss. Kyle thinks it’s disgusting (despite having played ookie mouth with Kenny which is arguably more disgusting)

Bebe breaks up with Kyle and goes off with Clyde, who says “Bitchin’ 😎”. Later Clyde is with Bebe, Stan, and Wendy at the club house

Cartman and Kyle have a fist fight once again. Kyle hated Cartman way more than Stan did very early on, kind of all along really, they truly were destined to be arch enemies

Kenny has food stamps

Oh, and Cartman’s made poor jokes about Kenny and twice (I think) Kenny has punched him in retaliation in the past 2 seasons. Kenny’s family is probably a bad and violent example for him

By the way, if you’ve ever wondered what Kenny says in the theme song but never looked it up, in seasons 1-2 he sings “I like girls with big fat titties, I like girls with deep vaginas” but in the remastered versions of seasons 1-2 (which is the version I’m watching) they changed it to the season 3-5 lyrics: “I have got a ten-inch penis, use you mouth if you wanna clean it”.

When an evil twin version of Cartman says nice things, Stan, Kyle, and Kenny stare at him in horror. Stan says, “Dude, this is creepy.”

Also, the boys say dude a lot. At least Stan, Kyle, and Kenny do, Cartman not as much

Kenny’s mom hits him when he’s hogging the blanket from his brother. Kenny makes a sad face and it made me feel bad :(

When evil twin Cartman comes to give the McCormicks some supplies, Kenny’s dad asks if that was his “fat, racist, foul-mouthed friend” so Cartman clearly has a reputation

When Stan gets scared of his evil fish, he wakes Shelly up and she slaps him. Their mom sees it and says nothing

But on the other hand his mom buries a body that Stan’s fish killed because she thinks he killed it so I guess she’s not entirely a bad mom

Kenny was supposed to buy a pumpkin for Halloween but he could only afford a squash and his friends are really mean about it. The more I watch the more I feel bad for Kenny (and Stan)

Cartman kind of has a shitty friendship with Kenny. He says “I hate you Kenny” because of the squash

Kyle is really annoyed by Cartman saying “hella” all the time, nobody else is as annoyed

Evil Cartman sings a cute little song while wielding a knife: You guys / are my best friends, / through thick and thin, / we've always been together! / We're four of a kind, / having fun all day, / palling around and laughing away. / Just best friends, / best friends are we!

Stan still has his dog, Sparky, in season 2

After Stan’s fish kills Kenny, Kenny’s mom comes over to ask about her son and she’s drunk and upset. Honestly seeing Kenny die all the time makes me kind of sad

Stan says Kenny’s squash isn’t a bad little squash. Very heartwarming. The squash gets first prize at the pumpkin carving contest :)

Cartman’s grandma and extended family live in Nebraska

When the boys go to Cartman’s family to have Christmas dinner, Kenny’s dad tells him to take any leftovers and bring them back home (he does it very gently and Kenny just says “okay” and why do I care that this fake child dies all the time and barely has food at home, like why the fuck do I care so much???)

Cartman’s mom is wearing glasses when she drives. She doesn’t do it in the later seasons but maybe she has contacts

Cartman and his mom sing a road trip song for 4 hours. Kyle says “please stop” but when they ignore him, he kicks Cartman’s seat and makes Cartman hit his head

Stan has a complicated relationship with his family, he says they’re dead to him because they didn’t want him to go on a road trip to Nebraska so Stan went without telling them

Kenny doesn’t eat at the dinner table with Cartman’s family, he just shoves the food in a bag :( I feel so bad for him

Stan, Kyle, and Kenny all hit Cartman after they wake in the night to make sure they’re not dreaming

Under his coat, Cartman wears a pink tank top that says BEEFCAKE. He wore it in S1E02 Weight Gain 2000

Charles Manson invites Kenny to go to a more secluded location and Kenny just says okay and goes, but honestly he should know better since he’s aware that he keeps dying

Cartman bonks his cousin Elvin on the head and gives him brain damage. Elvin gets better though

THE NEXT EPISODE IS GNOMES!!! TWEEEEEK!!!!

Token gets named when he’s put in a group with Wendy, Bebe, Clyde, and Pip. Craig’s gang is getting closer to becoming a thing!!

IT’S OUR FUCKING BOY TWEEK TWEAK BITCH YEEEEAAAH

Tweek says he’s awake at 3:30am because he can’t sleep, ever

Jesus, Tweek’s dad kind of sucks immediately. He says he might have to sell Tweek to slavery if his coffee shop goes out of business

Cartman says Kenny’s family is happy being poor and on welfare, “right, Kenny?” and Kenny says “fuck you” which is completely justified

When the underpants gnomes don’t appear, Tweek is worried he’s going insane and pulls on his hair

His parents say Tweek is jittery and anxious just because he has ADD (but the kind of severe jitteriness and anxiety Tweek has isn’t a symptom of primarily inattentive ADHD, even though people with ADHD do experience restlessness and can even have some tics and are more likely to have anxiety as a comorbid disorder than a neurotypical person is, but I mean come on, we all know Tweek’s slurping way too much coffee so even if he has ADHD beneath all that, his parents should stop giving him coffee and they definitely should not start lacing it with meth. Basically what I’m saying is that Tweek’s parents are full of shit)

Actually Tweek’s mom is kind of okay. She tells Tweek’s dad that he’s being shitty for using kids to advance his agenda. But… the agenda is against big corporations and I hate to say it but Tweek’s dad kind of has a point

Ew, the boys are giving a pro big corporations speech. That aged really poorly considering how shitty billionaires are

Aww, look at Kenny! He got scared of a crocodile that Steve Irwin is about to bother by jamming his thumb up its butthole

The boys are really excited about Steve Irwin jamming his thumb up a crocodile’s butthole

Oh my God, Kyle calls Cartman a fatass penis

Kenny is a mediator between Stan and Kyle. They ask him which one found this ice man in a cave first, but Kenny just deflects and agrees with Kyle’s name suggestion (Steve) for the ice man

I kind of like Dr. Mephesto. I’m glad he came back for Fractured But Whole

Stan and Kyle are having a terrible fight about who found the ice man. Kyle says they’re not best friends anymore and that Cartman is his new best friend and Cartman says “Sweet!”, then Stan claims Cartman as his new best friend and Cartman says “Killer!”

This prehistoric ice man episode is actually funny, I love it

Stan and Kyle are having a fight to the death

They reconcile and become best friends again. They both agree that Cartman’s a sucky best friend

Well, that was the last episode of the season. This was fun. South Park is actually a fun show

Kenny deaths:

S02E10 Kenny is in the hospital because of chicken pox. He laughs at Cartman’s joke so hard that his heart flatlines like beeeeeeeeeeeeeep

S02E11 Kenny’s head explodes after Stan and Kyle make him watch planetarium lights at a high intensity

S02E12 Kenny gets trampled in a mosh pit

S02E13 A cow impales Kenny’s head with its horn

S02E14 Ozzy Osbourne bites Kenny’s head off

S02E15 Kenny is killed by Stan’s evil fish, he gets spun in the fish tank until the water’s red

S02E16 The police shoot Kenny who came outside with a white flag during a hostage situation, then the police hit his dead body with a baton and handcuff him

S02E17 Kenny gets crushed by the underpants gnomes’ mine cart. The gnomes are horrified but Stan, Kyle, Cartman, and Tweek are kinda like whatever

S02E18 Kenny gets squished underneath a conveyer belt

Onto the next season I go. I’ll watch the movie too since it was released around halfway through season 3

[creek4lifeman]

One of those days

Here’s another Creek fic for you guys that I made art for.

Title: One Of Those Days Rating: T Pairing: Tweek X Craig Characters: Craig Tucker, Tweek Tweak, Mrs. Tweak Tags: Canon Complaint, AKA they’re in 4th grade, Craig POV, Mild Language, Mentions of Anxiety and Mental health issues, Coloring books, Fake Tattoos, Fluff, Dorks in love, One shot, Tweek’s parents are clueless, Art in fic Summary: Tweek is having a bad day and Craig goes to visit in order to be there for him.  Even if that just happens to be coloring and giving each other fake tattoos. 

Read below the cut

Craig knows it’s going to be one of those days when Tweek doesn’t show up to school. Craig’s used to it at this point, but it still never sits well with him whenever the desk next to him is empty. He’ll never admit it out loud, but it’s days like these that unsettle him the most and he finds himself missing the sound of his boyfriend trying his best to keep quiet or the way he can’t sit still to save his life.

It’s the consistency mostly, Craig tells himself or at least that’s the conclusion he’s come to. He’s just plain and boring Craig, who lives by schedule and likes to keep it that way. When Tweek can’t go to school, they don’t meet up at their locker in the morning so that they can hold hands to the cafeteria for breakfast and when that happens, well, Craig’s whole day is then thrown off completely.

The only constant on days like these are that if Craig doesn’t get detention, which chances of that are much higher on the days Tweek isn’t in school, then he immediately heads to his boyfriend’s house as soon as he leaves the building. 

Today, it’s Mrs. Tweak that answers the door.

“Well, hello Craig. Are you here to see Tweek?”

Of course he is.

No matter how often he shows up on days like these, the Tweaks always stare at him in awe when he shows up. Almost as if they wonder why Craig would show up when Tweek is like this. Which only pisses Craig off even more at how terrible his significant other’s parents are.

“Yes, ma’m. Is he okay?” Craig manages to ask between gritted teeth. He already knows what her answer is going to be too. But if it’s the best way to get permission to enter, then Craig’s going to put in the effort.

“Oh, he’s fine honey. Tweek’s just going through one of his usual fits. Nothing to worry about,” she says with her plastic smile.

Craig clenches his fist but carries on. “He is? Then can I go up and see him?”

Mrs. Tweak hestates, like she always does. As if she’s afraid to be caught in her lie. Craig doesn’t know why Tweek’s parents act like everything is always fine, when it’s not. Maybe they are ashamed of Tweek and his bad days. He will never know and maybe he’d have been turned away if he was any other person. 

But he’s Tweek’s boyfriend, and the Tweak’s absolutely adore Craig for making their only son a homosexual. As if Craig had any say in that. A gay son made Tweek more interesting and by that reasoning, made the Tweak’s more interesting. So now Tweek Bros Coffee gets more business and because of that Craig will always have special privileges, such as being invited in on a bad day

“Come on in Craig. I’m sure seeing you will make him snap right out of it.”

Mrs. Tweak opens the door wide and Craig has to pinch his leg to keep himself from snapping at her that it doesn't work that way.

Unlike the Tweaks, Craig has done his research on mental illness and while he’s come to accept that he can’t fix everything, It took him a lot of hard days to realise that as well, at least Craig knows a few techniques he can try.

Taking the steps, two at a time, Craig makes it up the stairs in no time. He reaches the room with a guinea pig poster, an anniversary gift from Craig, and knocks in a familiar song like pattern before opening the door. It their way of communicating to each other that they are visiting each other’s house. That and it prevents Tweek from panicking when the door suddenly opens.

“Nnnngh!”

His honey is bent over in concentration at his desk, a crayon in his hand sweeping across a booklet he doesn’t recognize. Tweek mutters for a moment more before screeching and tossing the yellow crayon across the room. 

Wild eyes turn to face Craig and it takes the boy only a few seconds to access the situation. Tweek waits for Craig to say something, anything. Craig knows better though. Tweek doesn’t need Craig to tell him everything is going to be fine. He doesn’t speak. Instead, Craig opens up his arms and it’s so worth it when his boyfriend smiles, even shakingly, and then throws himself across the room to wrap his arms around Craig’s neck in a warm embrace. 

“Hey Babe, I missed you in school today.”

“S-sorry Craig, I just couldn’t today,” Tweek groaned as he slumped further into Craig’s shoulder.

“It’s fine dude. You don’t have to apologize for that.”

It felt nice having his boyfriend in his arms. It didn’t exactly make up for missing him all day but it did come super close.

Tweek leaned back and reluctantly Craig let him go. 

“It was those damn underpant gnomes man! They kept me up all night trying to explain their profit system again and I-”

“Tweek,” Craig interrupted and after saying his name twice, his honey paused mid sentence to gape at him.

“Relax. You don’t have to explain,” he assured Tweek but then remembered that sometimes talking is exactly what Tweek needs, “..unless it helps?” 

“I-it does, but now it’s too much pressure to explain,” Tweek replied after taking a moment to consider Craig’s words. 

Craig didn’t pressure him though. Instead, he grabbed Tweek’s hand and led him back to the desk he’d been furiously working on. 

“Okay babe, then how about you explain what you were doing before I came in?”

Craig reached out towards the book spread open with different crayons littered all over it and saw that Tweek had been coloring in stars and planets. 

Is this…

“A space themed coloring book?” Craig ended up saying out loud.

“Y-yeah, I was trying to color before you got here. My therapist said it could help, b-but I can’t seem to stay in the lines."

True to his word, Tweek had gone off and messed up in some areas, but Craig didn’t care. He was too entranced by the fact that Tweek had doodled them standing together on a planet while holding hands. That and well, what’s more awesome than a space themed coloring book?

“C-can I have this picture when you’re done?” Craig practically whispered but there was no denying the need in his voice. He never wanted anything more this moment.

“What!?” Tweek shrieked, “Why dude? It sucks!”

“No it doesn’t,” Craig immediately defended the piece of work. It may not be perfect to Tweek but to Craig it was. “I like it, so I want it.”

“Ngh, I don’t know man...”

Tweek reached out for the coloring book and Craig let him have it. Not wanting his selfishness to lead to a panic attack In fact, he had an idea to help him convince Tweek.

“Then how about this, I color one for you and you finish coloring this one for me?”

Tweek’s eyes widened in shock before staring back down at the coloring book and pulling it close to his chest. “Oh jesus, you really want this that bad?”

Craig rolled his eyes at being called out like that but didn’t say anything to deny it either. “Don’t act like you don’t want one of mine either.”

“F-fine!” Tweek squeaked, his cheeks turning pink and a small smile crawling up his cheeks. “But you have to cut out the page so that I can finish and so that y-you can pick out whatever you want, man.”

“Okay.” Craig easily agreed. He grabbed the pair of scissors stored in the cup full of other writing utensils before carefully cutting out Tweek’s page. They each set up a coloring station, aka Tweek at his desk while Craig took the floor, with crayons, color pencils, and snacks that were brought up by Mrs. Tweak.

Craig flipped through the pages until he got to the center and found that there was a sheet full of space themed stickers. No wait, he was wrong. These were those fake tattoos that applied to the skin with water.

So cool!

Craig cut them out for later and continued searching until he settled on an awesome rocketship shooting through the sky. Immediately he drew a version of himself and Tweek in the window. It wasn’t as great as his boyfriend’s depiction of them, but it would have to do. After that, he picked up a blue color pencil and began to fill in the area around the ship to make it look more like outer space.

After a couple of minutes, Tweek stopped what he was working on to turn to Craig.

“Thanks…”

Craig paused as well to stare at his boyfriend. Unsure of what exactly he was being thanked for. Maybe his confusion is written all over his face because Tweek continues.

“For coming over to color with me.”

Oh.

Craig tried his best not to smile.

“No problem, honey. Is it helping?”

Tweek swiveled back towards his page to avoid facing him with what Craig assumes is another blush on Tweek’s face before nodding towards the wall.

This fills Craig with joy as they spend the next couple of minutes coloring in a peaceful silence.

That is until he hears his boyfriend groaning again in distress. It starts off with a couple noises here and there but then it turns into full on frustrated growling after ten minutes.

“Babe? You okay?”

Craig looks at his boyfriend in concern, only to see him snapping a purple crayon in half.

So, not okay.

He gets up and calmly collects the broken pieces from Tweek’s hands and places his free palm against his boyfriend’s cheek.

There’s tears in those emerald eyes and it immediately makes Craig’s heart fall.

“What’s wrong honey?”

Tweek shoves the paper as far away from him, almost practically ripping it in two before glaring holes in the now bare table in front of him. 

“I just can’t gah get the color to look right dammit!”

Craig frowns before using his palm to turn Tweek’s head to face him.

“Alright, then how about we take a break and come back to it later?”

Tweek blinks at him before replying.

“And do what?”

This time, Craig doesn’t hold back his smile at the adorably curious but pouty look his boyfriend gives him.

“How about we give each other Tattoos?”  

Tweek screams.

“Craig! We can’t ngh give each other tattoos! We don't know how or have the right tools! What if I get ink poisoning? That’s a thing right? Or worse! Infected!”

Wait what?

Craig is at a loss of words until it hits him what Tweek is actually talking about. 

Real tattoos.

He literally has to grab the tattoo sheet and show Tweek what he means in order to get him to calm down. When he finally understands that the tattoos are fake, Tweek takes a deep breath and stops shaking so hard.

“All better, babe?”

“Y-yeah.” Tweek stutters as he takes the sheet and looks over the options. “You want to wear these?”

Craig scoffs, “Uh yeah, they’re space themed. Of course, I do.”

Tweek giggles before pointing at a space helmet tattoo. “You should do this one.”

“Because I’m Spaceman Craig?”

“Yep,” Tweek nods before reaching for his scissors to cut out said tattoo. “Where do you want it?

“Hmm, how about on my face?”

“Okay!”

Tweek stands up and leads them to the bathroom so that they can wet a towel with warm water to use as a compress and make the tattoo work. As soon as they are done with Craig’s, the helmet comes out perfectly, it’s Tweek’s turn.

“Can I pick yours?”

“Uh maybe?” Tweek says sounding unsure, “What were you thinking?” Craig looks over the sheet before settling on a rocket. Just like the one Tweek keeps in his room and points at it.

“That one.”

Tweek smiles before agreeing and points to his own cheek so that Craig knows where to place it.

They go back and forth, placing fake tattoos on each other until Tweek points at a pair of stars and suggests, “We should each get one in the same place to match.”

It’s cheesy but it’s also the most romantic thing Craig’s ever heard of and he agrees without missing a heartbeat.

They both decide to wear their matching star in a place that can’t wash off so easily. This just happens to be on their upper arm. 

They spend the rest of the day covered in tattoos and coloring. When Craig has to go home and shower, he makes sure to avoid rubbing off the star tattoo.

When the next day comes and he finds Tweek at school showing off the star tattoo to Token, Jimmy and Clyde, Craig can’t help but feel a swell of pride in his chest and the hope that one day in the future they can get a permanent matching one.

End

[squidprinceofwinterfell]

Stick of Truth Commentary

Intro

Intro cut scene is a nice touch! The animation is nice, and it adds story and stakes to the game the boys are playing. Reminds me of “Lord of the Rings.”

I like how the boys see the stick as a golden staff, but it’s literally just…a stick.

Create your character

Fighter, Mage, Thief, Jew – which is the best and why?

Intro to New Kid and family

Dialogue between parents creates an ominous backstory. Who is looking for New Kid and why?

New Kid is a mute weirdo and I love it.

The first quest (making friends) reminds me of “The Sandlot.”

The shitting feature is awesome.

New Kid meets Butters and is brought to KKK

What exactly is the power of diabetes?

Chekov’s Clyde!

It’s cute how cool everyone is with Princess Kenny.

I like that every player is called Douchebag, but I wish every player didn’t have to play as a boy.

Elves attack

Funny how Cartman’s alarm is just Butters yelling “Alarm!”

Cartman has pretty good commentary when New Kid is fighting. I actually miss that later on.

How did the elves snag the stick? Either Clyde is a bad watchdog or Kyle is super strategic. I choose both.

New Kid must find Token, Tweek, and Craig

Token

I never knew Token was so rich that he had security! It’s probably to keep Cartman out.

I love that Token’s property is calling Dark Meadows.

Token: “The elves took the stick again?” Haha!

Tweek

Tweek is the only employee at Tweek Bros.? That’s called child labor!

I love that Mrs. McCormick thinks the meth heads in her garage are just nice renters. Is she being paid in meth?

Why would a 10-year-old boy be an undercover cop? Only in South Park.

Tweek was totally named after the word “tweeker.”

Craig

Craig is in detention for (of course) flipping off the principal. Is Principal Victoria still principal at this point?

Craig’s alias is Feldspar the Thief? I refuse to believe this isn’t a reference to Malcolm in the Middle.

On the “thief” option at the beginning, Cartman says he’s never seen a white thief before, yet Craig is a thief. Hmm…

“Heeeere they come…I’ll be outta here in ten minutes.” Smug, snarky Craig is the best Craig.

I like that Mackey seems to know he’s in a video game (by referencing the boss fight). It’s very Deadpool.

The Bard

The Inn of the Giggling Donkey is just Jimmy’s house. His living room is convincing as a bar/lounge/hangout.

Twitter = carrier raven

“There once was a maiden from Stonebury Hollow / She didn’t talk much, but boy did she swallow / I had a nice lance that she sat upon / The maiden from Stonebury who was also your mom.” I love Jimmy’s songs!

Butters: “No hurry, Douchebag. The princess is just being raped.” OMG

An elf was jumping on the bed to simulate raping Princess Kenny? The boys are really committed to this game.

Cartman: “Good job, Princess Gone Wild. Double D buddy powers.” Kenny flashing his man boobs is the best distraction tactic.

The Brown Note is Jimmy’s best attack.

“Welcome to the KKK!”

Alien abduction

Cartman’s fart lessons finally come in handy! New Kid’s ass is too strong to be probed.

I love that alien abduction is viewed as just another annoying part of living in South Park.

The guy from the recordings is the hobo hidden onboard, right?

The Nazi zombie hobo is the game’s first instance of the Nazi zombie plot. It tells us that the aliens are responsible for this when the ship crash lands to Earth and green goo gets in the sewer.

New Kid crashed an entire spaceship. He’s kind of a badass. And he gets to keep the alien probe!

The big bad government is involved now to deal with “another UFO crash.” How often does this happen??

Only South Park would try to pass off a UFO as construction of a Taco Bell. And only South Park citizens would believe it.

Recruitment (pt. 1)

All New Kid has to do to get the goth kids to join is put on black clothes. I’m glad to see they still have low standards.

New Kid finally meets Stan and Kyle! I’ve been waiting for this.

According to Kyle, Cartman lied about the stick being stolen and is hiding it. According to Cartman, Kyle is lying because New Kid can’t retrieve the stick if Kyle claims he doesn’t have it. It’s a game of “he said, she said” but I’m inclined to believe Kyle. This is Cartman we’re talking about…

PTA meeting

I’m disappointed no one yelled “Rabble, rabble!” at the PTA meeting.

Is no one else alarmed that Randy lured a young boy into the bathroom alone?

“That’s all you’ve got is a sign? At least crap on a desk or something!” Mr. Garrison is speaking highly of Cartman, I see.

She-Ogre

“Give me back my iPhone, DEMON!” This is an accurate depiction of a brother-sister relationship.

It’s adorable that Stan uses Sparky in battle.

Taco Bell

I love that the big bad government agents are such bad liars that they killed a guy asking about encharidos.

“Goddamn it! I’m so tired of Nazi zombies. It’s so…overused!” Haha!

I’m surprised the adults actually took the bombing threat seriously and weren’t bummed about no Taco Bell.

Recruitment (pt. 2)

The final goth test is DDR?? That’s so conformist.

Once you win the goth kids over, you can recruit them to either Cartman’s side or Kyle’s. I always pick Kyle’s side when I play this. I’ve been itching to betray Cartman since this game started!

South Park Elementary

The huge battle scene takes place at the school because it’s where Cartman supposedly hid the stick. South Park Elementary is busted and makes a great setting for a battle scene. More “Lord of the Rings” vibes!

New Kid’s farts help Kyle’s side get the upper hand. Take that, Cartman!

Another reason choosing Kyle’s side is better: New Kid’s battle against Butters is more impactful because he was New Kid’s first friend. If it was a face off against Stan, it wouldn’t be as emotional.

The final battle gives New Kid one last chance to pick a side. Like Stan says, “I can’t believe this is even a choice.” Kyle vs Cartman is like Chanel vs Walmart.

Yet another reason choosing Kyle’s side is better: Cartman’s farting fire at the end of this fight is one of the best scenes of the whole game.

Clyde

I love the twist where neither Kyle nor Cartman was lying. Clyde really punked the fuck out of everyone.

Kyle is the only one to acknowledge he’s aware of the green goo and how dangerous it is.

Stan: “Clyde, but why?” Cartman: “I banished him to be lost in space and time and now he’s all pissed off.” Haha!

Clyde’s fortress is so badass. I can see the appeal of the dark side.

How the hell does Clyde have control over the Nazi zombies??

I love that Clyde’s power move is keeping his friends out past their bedtimes. The stakes are higher now, but this reminds us this is still a kid’s game…or it started as one.

Underpants gnomes

Gnomes: “The kid is awake! What do we do?” “Oh, fuck, I guess we gotta kill him!” Me problem solving.

Since when do underpants gnomes have warlocks?? I thought they were all failed businessmen.

For some reason, high pitched gnome voices yelling “Oh, fuck!” is really funny to me.

New Kid fighting underneath his giant parents mid-coitus is another iconic fight scene. How many times must New Kid dodge his dad’s ballsack?? The kid is hardcore.

The girls

Kyle convinces everyone to team up against Clyde. I’m continually impressed by Kyle because of his leadership, intellect (he spent all night researching), and open mind (he doesn’t balk at teaming up with the humans or inviting girls to play). I’m totally Team Kyle, if you haven’t noticed.

I love that the girls blindfold New Kid when they bring him to their lair. That’s some Mafia shit.

Annie: “He…doesn’t really talk.” Bebe: “That’s hot!” ME

Sunshine, sparkle, glitter…I wanna talk like this all the time.

Heidi Turner was the two-faced bitch! That’s very Mrs. Cartman of her.

Abortion clinic

New Kid’s abortion doctor is named Dr. Poonlover because of course he is

The big bad government is doing Plan B at the abortion clinic. Clever joke!

Where did Randy get that blonde wig from?? The men in South Park cross-dress so much.

Khloe Kardashian’s aborted fetus as a Nazi zombie is also a legendary fight.

Canada

New Kid didn’t get that his photographer was a pedophile even when he was almost butt naked?? Also, who was that guy who jumps out from behind the boxes?

The layout of Canada is clearly a parody of Pokemon games, right? Either way, I love it. The shitty jpeg videogame look is very Canada.

“They’re like wolves, but they’re dire.”

Getting trained by Terrance and Phillip makes all this back and forth bullshit worth it.

Clyde’s fortress

Of course Cartman butts in when Kyle’s trying to give an inspirational speech. What an attention hog!

It’s funny to me how easily Craig switched to Clyde’s side. Loyalty much??

“I really found myself relating to Clyde’s views about darkness and enslaving the world.” Jesus, Craig!

Cartman’s negative reaction to electricity is a callback to the chip put in his head in Bigger, Longer & Uncut.

“It’s my favorite kid!” WOW, RANDY

“Who could it be?” I love how long New Kid lets them all wonder before he steps up.

Stan: “Dude, that’s not Taco Bell sauce.” Clyde: “Then why’d I find it at the Taco Bell?” A+ logic

How dare you, Clyde! Let Chef rest in peace!

Government interruption

“Whenever aliens are spotted, vampires run amok…” Vampires exist in this universe??

I love that the boys don’t care about the big bad government’s scheme.

So New Kid’s special power is making friends on social media! I should’ve known.

Princess Kenny’s betrayal

Princess Kenny planned to steal the stick all along! This game is full of betrayals.

Kenny makes a pretty cute anime princess. Nazi zombie? Not so much.

Princess Kenny is a badass final boss. And I never saw it coming!

I’m glad the “never fart on someone’s balls” joke meant something in the end. I can see why it was banned – it’s super deadly!

End

The boys unite to save friendship and love…by chucking a stick into a lake.

New Kid stole Cartman’s catchphrase!

Why did Al Gore appear so ominously at the end?? What are you gonna do to the kids, Al Gore??

[cheylouwho]

SOUTH PARK S22 COMMENTARY IS HERE!

Part 1 (E1-5)

Part 2 (E6-10)

Some highlights under the cut!

Matt and Trey still don't like doing commentary months after finishing a season, feeling like it's too long of a delay and they don't like explaining themselves and their jokes.

Trey had the idea for Dead Kids at the end of S21.

Matt and Trey purposefully did not "solve" the problems presented in most episodes, instead depicting how people cope or get themselves out of problems that are too complicated to easily fix.

Everything from Red Hot Catholic Love came true, so M+T felt the need to touch on it again. They struggled coming up with ideas because all their jokes kept coming up to be truth.

They purposefully made the choice to show Maxi as a single person who can make a small difference in a "largely fucked up world" rather than take the big picture approach like Red Hot Catholic Love.

The Problem With A Poo was about Rosanne.

Trey's done lots of drugs!

M+T were not attacking the Simpsons whatsoever, again noting they're friends with them and that they also found it a funny episode.

The Problem With A Poo shows that sometimes it's hard but the right thing to do to say goodbye to shitty people you care about.

The Marsh family might stay on the farm until the end of the show.

Trey added the song "Colorado Town" Tuesday night before the show aired.

"Dog's Butthole" opening joke was also Tuesday Night.

Tegridy with a "d" was a conscious choice, with the "integrity" below spelled with a T.

M+T based The Scoots on the classic halloween movie, "The Birds".

M+T thought the fortnite halloween costumes were amusing.

M+T like bringing back characters we haven't seen for a while and felt this was a perfect season for callbacks.

Al Gore is a favorite character of theirs.

They admit that the original Manbearpig episode did not age well. Yes, its a metaphor for global warming in this episode.

Matt got 8% through RDR2. Trey finished the whole fucking thing.

Trey played RDR2 to "research".

They would have made it a 1 parter but the episode got dragged out too much and needed two parts.

Trey really fucking loves RDR2. God dammit. He won't stop talking about it.

Satan is dead forever. He's not coming back.

Ned is alive and well! They weren’t sure if he would die but they brought him back.

M+T got permission to use RDR2 footage in the episode and were thrilled.

TREY WON'T STOP TALKING ABOUT RDR2.

They make fun of people who act like they can't change their stance on things.

M+T love the PC babies character. They joke about making next season only PC babies.

They acknowledge that their message was a flip of what they truly believe, that phones cause more anxiety and depression than relieve from.

Matt knows a lot about/is interested in Marxist Economics.

Trey is addicted to Amazon shopping.

Yes, Bezo's appearance is a Star Trek reference.

the BOM codirector came and did the voice for the rival bike parade kid.

The #CancelSouthPark campaign was very funny to them and they felt ended up playing off the season well.

The boys joking about how they can't get themselves canceled is self-referencing.

Randy yelling at Bezos high is M+T.

M+T don't get why people are basing their politics on economics on Underpants Gnomes and are surprised by their critiques on capitalism in this episode.

They loved the ending of the season with the bike parade and find it ties together perfectly as a "little community coming together" regardless of the big problems going on around them. Describes south park as a "little town that loves each other".

This was a season they really loved making and is a favorite!

[parti-pooper]

I think tweek and craig are both logical/creative, but in different ways and in different times. They’re creative on their own but with logic they take turns depending on whose acting ridiculous at the time. I wonder what happens when it’s both of them.

I agree! I mean, they say that a messy mind is a creative mind, and just look at Tweek’s room! Clothes falling out the drawers. Toys all over the floor. Legos all over his desk. Coffee cups everywhere. It’s madness! However, though this be madness, there is method in it. He is building a crazy, interesting structure with those Legos! His coffee cups have been stacked into these orderly, challenging towers on his window sill! He has snapped together this amazing-looking roller-coaster thing on his floor! Like, just look at this!

Gosh, his room is just so colourful and exciting! And I will bet his mind is exactly the same. He seems to have this very inventive, almost architectural creativity. In fact, I would not be surprised if our little Tweek grew up to be an engineer, or an architect, or something like that. I believe in him!

Tweek’s so good at acting as well though, which is very much a creative art. He could grow up to join the theatre! And he’s probably pretty musical too, because it seems he plays piano. Like, Tweek?? Since when could you do that, Tweek??Where did you learn to do that, Tweek??! Tell me your secrets, Tweek!! Tell me!!

Craig, I’m not so sure about. If someone could offer instances of his creativity, I would be appreciative. Because I’m coming up dry, pfft! I mean, come on. Look at his fucking superhero outfit. What even is that, Craig? Did you even try, boy? You even called yourself Super Craig. Super Craig. You couldn’t even come up with a cool name, could you?

Granted, Tweek was not much better here, for all his creativity. He called himself Wonder Tweek and stuck some letters to his shirt as well. But at least he made a bandanna, too, and bothered to put on gloves and a different shirt. Also he wrote approximately one (1) more letter than you, Craig, so he automatically gets more respect. (But you both get bonus points for your cutesy couple costumes. Bless!)

(I love Kenny’s ghost creeping in the background, pfft! Afterlife photo-bombing!)

Okay, so neither of them are artistic in that way. They aren’t going to grow up to be designers and open up a boutique together. Still, check out Craig’s bedroom in comparison to Tweek’s! Like, yeah. Okay. He likes space, robots, and making his bed. And?

(Sidenote: I’ve just noticed “SPACE TREK” and it’s tickled me real bad. *Snort!*)

Everything is just so neat. His closet and drawers are shut tight (unless New Kid interferes). There is not a speck on his floor (unless Stripe interferes). That bed must be taking anti-ageing cream because it is wrinkle-free. The poster above it is the only thing off. His room is straighter than he is! It’s so different to Tweek’s room. (Which is probably why they go together so well. Opposites attract, man.)

So, he’s not artistic. He’s not inventive. He’s not architectural. Maybe he’s, um… musical? He played that violin once? Or is it a viola? Or a fiddle? (Can someone who knows the difference between these instruments tell me what it is? Thanks.)

Although that was kind of just for school… Um… Oh! But he also played the pan flute that one time! (And that guitar- or ukulele-looking thing. Musicians, help me again!) Remember Peru, Craig? ‘Member?

Although that was kind of just for money. While Tweek whipped out the piano for a song he did. Which suggests he could already play it. Like, I wouldn’t learn the piano just specifically to play a song in a school assembly. I’d ask someone who already knew how to play piano. Or just make it into a speech instead of a song. The fact Tweek did this just further makes me think that playing the piano is just something he does. For himself. While with Craig, it’s more related to obligation, or gain. So maybe not too musical after all…

Urgh, I’m really coming up dry here. Everything around Craig is nice and boring, just how he likes it. Yet, I still refuse to believe that there’s no creativity in him at all! There’s got to be something… Perhaps intellectual creativity? The insults he comes up with. The ideas he has. They come from some sort of creativity, right? Maybe there is creativity in his logic. And he is definitely very logical. Robotic, I dare say. Almost as much as that robot he loves enough to put in his bedroom. Do you see yourself in it, Craig? Is that why you keep it? Is that why you gave it pride of place on your nightstand?

His room is evidence of his logic. Everything has a place, and everything is in it. Neat. Tidy. Plain. Organised. Straightforward. His thoughts will obviously be the same. And I also think he can be quite emotionally logical. That is clear enough in Put It Down, where he spends nearly the entire episode trying to rationalise everything Tweek is fearing, only to realise it is not helping, and be able to step back and come up with the most logical solution, where he validates everything Tweek is feeling. He likes reason and rationale. Things that do not make sense, he cannot compute. Irrationality invokes irritability.

(To be fair though, really, why the fuck would you? Are you okay, Dr Mephesto?)

Logic is where I may struggle with Tweek though, and again, I would appreciate instances of Tweek being logical being offered. We have seen, however, that he can come up with logical solutions to his problems when he is calm enough, ala Put It Down again. Also, there is, as I said before, a method to his madness. He is able to create structurally sound features, like his Legos and coffee cups and roller-coaster. That takes a little logic. Most of the time, however, he’s panicking over crazy conspiracies, paranoid and inconsolable. (Granted, sometimes those things do come true. I mean, underpants gnomes? Huh. Who saw that coming?)

Ah, I don’t know! Maybe the secret to them is that Tweek is the creative one and Craig is the logical one and that’s, again, exactly why they work so well together. They balance each other out. If anyone could offer a different perspective on this post, though, then I would appreciate it! It’d be interesting to hear other thoughts.

[tornrose24]

What animation rivalries must have been like in 2018

Pixar: Oh gee, another year of possibilities and good old competition! Well, it took us a decade and a half, but we FINALLY released Incredibles 2!

Incredibles and Pixar fans: *screams in delighted joy*

Aardman Animation and Wes Anderson: Who wants more stop motion animation?

Stop motion fans: *are happy*

Studio Laika: We got a movie for you guys next year!

Stop motion fans :*screams of insane happiness•

Disney: Well, as promised, we have our Wreck it Ralph 2 sequel–

Wreck it Ralph fans: *screams in delighted joy•

Disney:–which of course doubles as a huge love letter to ourselves and how we are slowly taking over the world. But hey, we got the Disney princesses in this ones like we–

Disney fans and fans of the Disney Princesses: *louder screams of delighted joy•

Pixar: So Dreamworks, how’re you doing?

Dreamworks Animation: Eh, nothing this year. We wanted to take a break. But we do have new shows on Netflix, including a new She-Ra cartoon–

She-Ra fans new and old: OH MY GOD, YES!

Some dumb hater: Lol your redesigns suck!

She-Ra fans new and old: SHUT UP, JERK FACE!

Dreamworks Animation fans:–A Trolls cartoon–

Trolls fans: *sings songs of joy at top of lungs*

Dreamworks Animation: –We also revived Rocky and Bullwinkle–

Rocky and Bullwinkle fans new and old: *extremely loud cheering•

Dreamworks Animation: Both Trollhunters and Voltron are going to have season finales–

Trollhunters and Voltron fans: *awkward silence*....We are heavily divided on the endings.

Dreamworks Animation: But we are doing part two for Tales of Arcadia with ‘3Below’

Trollhunters fans:*immediately brightens up* NEVER MIND, WE’RE GOOD!

Voltron fans: Well... at least we got a gay marriage at the end. Even if Steven Universe beat us to it.

Dreamworks Animation:–Also we actually had a Captain Underpants cartoon ready this whole time–

Captain Underpants fans: *tears of joy* YES! FINALLY! THANK YOU!

Dreamworks Animation:–and a Boss Baby cartoon!

Everyone: *long awkward silence•

Others: You’re joking, right?

Disney: Well hey, we made OUR small screen fans happy too!

Star vs the Forces of Evil and Ducktales fans: *awkward, confused silence*

Star vs the Forces of Evil:.. What is even happening anymore?

Ducktales fans: I don’t know. We want to be happy.... but... what is even happening anymore? Why are they forcing us on these roller coasters of emotion?

*MEANWHILE at Cartoon network*

Steven Universe fans: Yeah, we are with those guys too. What... what is happening? We had a huge reveal this year and–I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO MAKE OF ANYTHING ANYMORE!

Adventure Time fans: *sigh of bittersweet happiness• Well, it was fun while it lasted. Oh by the way, congrats SU fans for your show featuring the first gay marriage in an animated kids show.

Steven Universe fans: *happy* Aw thanks Adventure Time fans!

*BACK TO THE MAIN FEATURE*

Cartoon network: HEY! WE GOT AN ANIMATED MOVIE FOR TEEN TITANS!
 Everyone: *groans in annoyance•

*LATER*

Most everyone: It was... actually ok?

Sony: Hey guys! To make up for our crappy movie from last year, we got another Hotel Transylvania 3!

Many people: *groans in annoyance*

Hotel Transylvania fans: We have a new ship for our harbors. :D

Warner Bros: So we got one more year until the Lego Movie 2 right? Well we got this movie ‘Smallfoot’ in which HUMANS are the mythical creatures–

Many people: *more groans of annoyance*

*ALSO LATER*

Most everyone: Well ok, I guess it wasn’t bad.

Others: ZENDAYA! OUR BEAUTIFUL GODESS! Hallelujah!

Sony: We also have worked on Marvel to make a new animated Spiderman film.

EVERYONE: HOLY S***!/NO WAY!/IT LOOKS AWESOME!/YAY!/MILES MOARLES SPIDERMAN!/NICE!/JOHN MULANEY!!!/ETC.

Marvel fans: *see’s Peter Parker’s death date in trailer being 2018. Recalls what happened a month before the film’s release and smiles to the heavens.* Excelsior.

Disney: Well Illumination, what do YOU have to compete with us on November? Another crappy Minions sequel?

Illumination: So we decided to adapt How the Grinch stole Christmas.

*Most everyone stares in horror*

Some: No.

Most: Oh no.

Those who remember 2012: OH GOD, NOT AGAIN! NOT AGAIN! I HAD TO TAKE THERAPY TO RECOVER FROM–

Live action Grinch fans: *laughs* Yeah, good luck with that!

Illumination: Well, we actually learned our lesson this time. Also, we refuse to abuse Max in our take, because that’s just mean. We actually stayed faithful to the story AND included the title character... unlike YOU Disney with your live action Nutcracker film!

Everyone: Yeah, what the hell Disney?

Disney: Uh... Oh look we brought back 2D animation for ‘Mary Poppins Returns’! *runs away while everyone is distracted*

Dreamworks Animation: Oh yeah, actually we are releasing the last How to Train your Dragon movie next year.

HTTYD fans: *screams of joy drown everything out*

Pixar: Well, I guess that’s that. Hopefully we won’t get any weird entries for the Oscars or the Golden Globes like last time.

Oscar judges: D’oh ho ho. We’re a bunch of old geezers that only nominate the most talked about or what appeals to us as adults! We don’t give a crap about animated films that try to deviate from the norm with toys or have unique animation designs! Certainly not like– *notices two groups of royally pissed off fans of two specific films that ESPECIALLY got denied certain nominations in 2018.*

Lego Batman Movie fans: You guys suck! You nominated f***ing Boss Baby over OUR movie?! ESPECIALLY over Lego Batman movie, which scored higher than most DC films thanks to the obviously smarter critics and fans?!

Captain Underpants fans: Seriously, what the hell?! Do you have any idea how much both our movies getting nominated could have meant for the animation community as well as for the kids watching them?! ESPECIALLY considering the themes and representations OUR film supports?!

Oscar judges: Oh please! Like we want to tarnish our reputation by allowing a film involving actual toys or a grown man in his underwear join the ranks of our considerations–

*both groups proceed to attack judges*

Pixar: Well, here’s to another year of animation!

Toy Story fans/Everyone else: Toy Story 4 better not suck, Pixar! We were happy with it ending on the third one, so you better not screw this up!

Pixar: Err.... sure... *laughs nervously*

Hopefully 2019 will be a good year for animation. And I’m sorry if I didn’t list all the animations of 2018. There was too much to keep track of.

…..

…Oh yeah, wasn’t there also a sequel to that film about those garden gnomes?

…..

….Like I said, too much to keep track of.

[spinthetags]

South Park March Madness begins today!

It’s March 1st, and we’re excited to get March Madness underway! Above are the brackets that we’ll be using, divided into two images due to space. The songs above are a mix of the songs you suggested and the songs the mods filled the extra space with! We have a total of 64 songs, but only one can win.

For the first round, two 24-hour polls will be posted each day at 8 PM EST. Make sure to vote on both of them! The most voted song will move to the next round, while the least voted song will be eliminated. We encourage you to reblog this post with your predictions! We’re curious to see what you all are rooting for.

May the best South Park song win!

Underneath the cut is a transcript of the matches for the first round for if the images are difficult to read! This post will be updated with the winners of each round as the polls are completed.

Put It Down/Eric Don’t Do It VS La Resistance (Mole’s Reprise)

Simultaneous VS Hell Isn’t Good

It’s Easy, Mmmkay VS Joseph Smith Was Called A Prophet

I’m Super VS I’ve Got Some Apples (Lu Lu Lu)

Mountain Town VS Underpants Gnomes Work Song

Chef’s Chocolate Salty Balls VS Santa Claus Is On His Way

Push (Feeling Good on a Wednesday) VS Democracy in Cuba

Rebecca's Song VS The Most Offensive Song Ever

Jackin’ It In San Diego VS Queef Free

Turds VS Give Life A Try

Theme Song VS We Are Living In The Future

Dreidel, Dreidel, Dreidel VS Make It Right

La Resistance VS I Can Change

Dead, Dead, Dead VS I’m Not The Poorest Kid In School

Uncle Fucka VS Theme Song (Goth Kids Version)

A Lonely Jew on Christmas VS Taco Flavored Kisses

Kyle’s Mom’s A Bitch VS The Ballad of Tweek and Craig

It’s Butters! VS Up There

Not My Waterpark VS The Imagination Song

Eyes of a Child VS Faith +1 Medley

Make Bullying Kill Itself VS Ballad of Lemmiwinks

Princess Kenny’s Theme VS It Happened In Sun Valley

Gay Fish VS Do What You Wanna Do

Merry F**king Christmas VS Wendy's Song

Let's Fighting Love VS Crab People Crab People

What What In The Butt VS I’m Gonna Make Love To You Woman

What Would Brian Boitano Do? VS Christmas Time In Hell

Swiss Colony Beef Log VS Somalian Pirates We

Blame Canada VS Getting Gay With Kids

Hey People You Gotta Drive Hybrid Cars VS Mr. Hankey the Christmas Poo

I Hate You Guys VS I Got Cred, Bitches

Fingerbang VS Canada On Strike

[south-park-polls]

South Park Song Tournament!

[also check out @votemattrey’s South Park 25th anniversary concert tournament on their blog!! <3]

I am aware the creators made an official song tournament, but i didn’t hear about it until after it was already over so I have decided to make one of my own!

This is very self-indulgent and there are a lot of south park songs to think of, especially if you include covers (which i have decided to do) so I am likely very biased in which songs i have chosen.

I have narrowed it down to 128 songs to start to give an easy number for a tournament, but if I haven’t included your favourite song feel free let me know in the notes, reblogs or tags and I will make sure to add it to the list.

Please don’t worry about whether requesting songs will interfere with the tournament numbers! I have plans to give second chances to the closest losers to ensure that there is never an odd number of songs going into the next round :)

The songs I have decided to put in the tournament are as follows:

South Park Theme Song

I'm Gonna Make Love to You, Woman - Cartman Gets an Anal Probe

Hot Lava - Volcano

Love Gravy - An Elephant Makes Love to a Pig

Make Love, Even When I'm Dead - Pinkeye

The Lonely Jew on Christmas - Mr Hankey the Christmas Poo

Waitin' On a Woman - Cartman's Mom is a Dirty Slut

Simultaneous - Summer Sucks

Chocolate Salty Balls - Chef's Chocolate Salty Balls

Cheesy Poofs Theme Song - Roger Ebert Should Lay Off the Fatty Foods

Underpants Gnomes Work Song - Gnomes

Getting Gay With Kids - Rainforest Schmainforest

I Hate You Guys - Jakovasaurs

Sexual Harassment Panda - Sexual Harassment Panda

Shelly, Shelly - Cat Orgy

Turds! - Cat Orgy

Mr Hankey the Christmas Poo - Mr Hankey's Christmas Classics

Carol of the Bells - Mr Hankey's Christmas Classics

Christmas Medley - Mr Hankey's Christmas Classics

O Tannenbaum - Mr Hankey's Christmas Classics

Christmas Time in Hell - Mr Hankey's Christmas Classics

Dreidel, Dreidel, Dreidel - Mr Hankey's Christmas Classics

I Saw Three Ships - Mr Hankey's Christmas Classics

Merry Fucking Christmas - Mr Hankey's Christmas Classics

O Holy Night - Mr Hankey's Christmas Classics

Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas - Mr Hankey's Christmas Classics

Timmy and the Lords of the Underworld - Timmy 2000

Fingerbang - Something You Can Do With Your Finger

Wendy's Audition Song - Something You Can Do With Your Finger

Third Grade Memories - Fourth Grade

The Prostitute Song - Fat Camp

Circle of Poo - A Very Crappy Christmas

Why Can't I Be Like All the Other Kids - Here Comes the Neighbourhood

It's Butters! - Butters' Very Own Episode

Montage - Asspen

Sea People and Me - The Simpsons Already Did It

The Ballad of Lemmiwinks - The Death Camp of Tolerance

My Future Self n Me - My Future Self n Me

Poo-Choo Train - Red Sleigh Down

Bleeding Heart Rock Protest Song vs. Pro War Country Song - I'm a Little Bit Country

Make a Run for the Border - Fat Butt and Pancake Head

Taco Flavoured Kisses - Fat Butt and Pancake Head

Jesus Baby - Christian Rock Hard

Faith + 1 Album - Christian Rock Hard

Casa Bonita - Casa Bonita

Joseph Smith Was Called a Prophet - All About Mormon

Cigarettes All Hidey Lidey Day - Butt Out

Follow the Only Road - It's Christmas in Canada

French Canada - It's Christmas in Canada

Let's Fighting Love - Good Times with Weapons

My Robot Friend - AWESOM-O

My Wishing Tree - The Jeffersons

The Future Begins With You and Me - Goobacks

Vote or Die! - Douche and Turd

I've Got Some Apples - Stupid Spoiled Whore Video Playset

Christmas Time is Once a Year - Woodland Critter Christmas

Make It Right - The Death of Eric Cartman

Love Lost Long Ago - Follow That Egg!

We Can Live Together - Ginger Kids

Trapped in the Closet - Trapped in the Closet

Hey People, You Gotta Drive Hybrids Already - Smug Alert!

Who's Got the Greatest Mom In The World? - Tsst

Dawg's Crew Theme Song - Miss Teacher Bangs a Boy

Hippitus Hoppitus - Fantastic Easter Special

California Loves the Homeless - Night of the Living Homeless

I've Got a Golden Ticket - Le Petit Tourette

Imagination Song - Imaginationland

Canada on Strike - Canada on Strike

My Internet Done Up and Went Away - Over Logging

Super Fun Time - Super Fun Time

You Gotta Do What You Wanna Do - Elementary School Musical

Burn Down Hot Topic - The Ungroundable

I've Got a Ring on My Finger - The Ring

Queef Free - Eat, Pray, Queef

Gay Fish - Fishsticks

Somalian Pirates We - Fatbeard

Poker Face - Whale Whores

Minorities at my Water Park - Pee

Lake Tardicaca Hula Gal - Crippled Summer

You and Cthulhu - Mysterion Rises

Cafeteria Fraiche - Crème Fraiche

Vunter Slaush Kapushkuh - Crack Baby Athletic Association

Work Mexican Work - The Last of the Meheecans

Lemmiwinks vs Wikileaks - Bass to Mouth

Put That Heart to Work - Broadway Bro Down

Out of My Shell - Broadway Bro Down

I'm Not the Poorest Kid in School - The Poor Kid

The Jewelry Polka - Cash For Gold

Make Bullying Kill Itself - Butterballs

Jackin' it in San Diego - Butterballs

I Swear - Cartman Finds Love

The Ballad of James Cameron - Raising the Bar

It's a Beautiful Day - World War Zimmerman

A Chorus of Wieners - A Song of Ass and Fire

Princess Kenny Theme - A Song of Ass and Fire

My Bitch Ain't No Hobbit - The Hobbit

Push (Feeling Good on a Wednesday) - The Cissy

The Tale of Craig's Mom's Bush - The Magic Bush

PC Chant - Stunning and Brave

Where Has My Country Gone - Where My Country Gone

The Yelper Special (Boogers and Cum) - You're Not Yelping

In My Safe Space - Safe Space

The Ballad of Tweek and Craig - Tweek x Craig

Let's Come Together As a School - Douche and a Danish

Give Life A Try - Put It Down

Put It Down - Put It Down

They Got Me Locked Up In Here - Hummels & Heroin

Barbershop Quartet - Hummels & Heroin

A Witch Pursuit Thing - Sons A Witches

Faith In Christ - A Boy And A Priest

Unfulfilled - Unfulfilled

Colorado Town - Bike Parade

Go Strong Woman, Go - Board Girls

I Love You Social Distancing - The Pandemic Special

Mountain Town - South Park: Biggger, Longer & Uncut

Uncle Fucka - South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut

It's Easy Mmkay - South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut

Blame Canada - South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut

Kyle's Mom's a Bitch - South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut

What Would Brian Boitano Do - South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut

Up There - South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut

La Resistance - South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut

I Can Change - South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut

I'm Super - South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut

Mountain Town (Reprise) - South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut

We Are Living in the Future - South Park: Post Covid: The Return of Covid

We Missed You Randy - South Park: The Streaming Wars

I Got Cred, Bitches - South Park (Not Suitable For Children)

Hope you all enjoy the tournament and may the best south park song win!

[pojkflata]

Ternet Ninja review (spoiler free)

When you mention the years 2004 and 2018, animation fans will tell you that these are the releases for The Incredibles and its anticipated sequel, but it also happens to be the time frame for another sequel gap in animation: Anders “Anden” Matthesen’s Terkel in Trouble and its spiritual successor, Ternet Ninja. Terkel, with its sharp sense of humor, is a massive cult hit among younger millennials and older gen Z kids here in Scandinavia, so now that Anden returns to the director’s chair, was it equally worth the wait as Brad Bird’s followup was, or is he better off committing seppuku after this? Let’s find out

The story

The movie spends its time answering a rather simple question: what if a possessed killer doll were to be the good guy, merely motivated by revenge on an evil man? The answer is a well told buddy story with its own set of twists and turns. If there’s one grievance I have, it’s that it has a very telegraphed third act misunderstanding, but even then, the scene where Aske and TN make up is still well put together with some great jokes. Speaking of which, the humor is also rather well done. It’s notably more subtle than that in Terkel for reasons I’ll speculate about later, characters don’t swear as much, and jokes aren’t unneccessarily crass solely for chock value. There are some references that might come off as dated, such as fidget spinners and dabbing, but again, they’re subtle, and I’d say Ternet makes these references in the same way Captain Underpants makes low-brow humor: Not out of a cynical belief that it’s the easy way to make kids laugh, but to tune in to the kids’ wavelength while being self aware about it. What the story offers has minor issues, but these are overshadowed by its positives

The animation

To an outsider, this might look like a rather generic 2010s CGI movie, but when you put it into the context of being a Terkel in Trouble followup, it truly shines for what it is. The animation had to have this look, partially because it comes from a small country, partially to match the more subtle humor, but especially to be an upgrade to its predecessor without being jarring, so the characters have a more realistic look to them that you can still buy as belonging to the same world. As for the character animation, it’s more on the energetic side, but is very capable of slowing down for quieter moments, something that Terkel really didn’t pull off too well. It also has a lot of creative moments, such as TN ventriloquizing with Aske as the dummy, or our two protagonists building a structure on the local playground and using its construction against Glenn. It also shines in its action scenes, being a big step up from Terkel.

On top of that, it has a scene done in 2D. In a better world, there would have been a certain treshold for CGI movies incorpating 2D in specific scenes that, when met, would bring back 2D, and in that better world, that treshold would’ve been met when Sherlock Gnomes did it. But alas, we’re still here, starved for those scraps of 2D that are thrown in every now and then. And I can’t say no to this 2D. I can only really describe it as having the general aesthetics and limited color palette of Kung Fu Panda’s 2D  scenes with the stiff, paper cutout look of Quang’s Song from Terkel, and I’m really digging it

If there’s one thing I don’t like all that much, it’s the designs of returning characters. It shows that these characters were originally purposed for the rubberhose style of Terkel and that it doesn’t necessarily translate to this movie. Stewart looked jarring at first but I eventually accepted it, but some characters, like Arne and Terkel, straight up look younger than they did when we previously saw them. I struggle to believe that this Terkel is a father.

 It might look generic on the surface, but for what it is, it’s very well crafted

The characters

There are only really three characters that take the front seat, but that’s all this movie really needs, so let’s get the others out of the way first. Sune is Aske’s brother and the comic relief alongside Aske’s friends, Jessica is the love interest, Glenn is the bully, Aske’s parents are mercifully not the typical asshole parents you’d see in a movie like this but don’t really stand out too much. These characters just provide a backdrop and that’s perfectly fine

As for the characters that debuted in Terkel, they play a similar role to the recognizable cartoons in Roger Rabbit and the video game characters in Wreck-it Ralph, all of them except Stewart are one-scene wonders and their main purpose is to draw in an audience already familiar with these characters, though Stewart has a major impact on the plot

To the main three, we have Aske, Ternet Ninja and Philip Eberfrø. Aske initially comes off as an audience surrogate, but gets a pretty well developed arc in which his friendship with TN (the heart of the movie by the way) causes him to care less for minor inconveniences in his life and more towards fighting for justice. He is also a pretty believable kid character, as we understand that the reason he’s so occupied with petty matters is because he’s just a kid who hasn’t really opened up his eyes to bigger injustices in the world.

Philip Eberfrø is the villain of the piece, being the owner of a sweatshop and having blood on his hands. What little we see of him committing acts of evil is hard to watch, but he spends most of the movie looming in the background. Certainly not a memorable villain, but a more down to earth and realistic one

And THEN there’s Ternet Ninja himself, Being a possessed doll with one very specific motivation only: Making Philip Eberfrø pay for his crimes. On the surface, he seems to act on pure samurai logic and tends to take things literally, which clashes with Aske’s modern suburbia life, but to a degree, he seems to be obfuscating that persona, seeing as he knows enough about petty school drama to weaponize it against Aske when he does not cooperate. He definitely has a mischievous streak and impersonates Aske on several occasions to further his own agenda, but deep down, he has a soft spot for the kid. There’s a lot more to him, but he really has to be seen to be believed

The movie doesn’t give a lot of characters development, but the development it does give is given where it matters

Verdict

This is a worthy followup! While certainly not perfect, Ternet Ninja gives us far superior animation to its predecessor and a mostly enjoyable story with a good heart, as well as well crafted humor. It certainly has problems, but few enough of them for me to give it my seal of approval

Story: 9/10 Animation: 8/10 Characters: 9/10 Overall: 9/10

[themisadventuresofcando]

Life #5 (South Park)

Character Sheet

Face Claim:

Basic

Name: Carmencita D. Tweedle

Pronunciation: Car-men-SEE-tuh

Meaning: Little Song

Nicknames: Carmen, Tweedle Dee, Mutt, Snow Bunny

Name Origins:

Carmen: Shortened from Carmen

Tweedle Dee: Used with Tweedle Dum, Middle Initial, and Last Name

Mutt: Racial Slur for Mixed Race (I will actually beat that living shit out of you if you call me this AHEM Cartman AHEM)

Snow Bunny: A weird combination of my love of snow and Kenny’s love of Playboy Bunnies

Titles: N/A

Aliases: Princess Kenny’s Personal Knight, Estrella

Alias Origin: Games with The Boys

Orientation: Heterosexual

Gender: Female

Age: 16

Date of Birth: June 4th

Star Sign: Gemini

Birth Flower: Rose

Meaning: True Love

Birthstone: Pearl

Meaning: Purity

Species: Human

Affiliation: Humans, Freedom Pals

Social Status: Middle Class

Dead?: Eventually

How?: This is South Park probably really stupidly

Last Words: “SHIT!!! WE’RE GOING TO DIE!!!!”

Appearance

Eye Color: Grey-Blue

Glasses/Contacts: Glasses

Skin Tone: Pale with Freckles

Hair Color: Dark Brown

Hair Length: Just Past Shoulder

Hair Type: Curly

Hairstyle: Ponytail Normally, 

Loose When Estrella,

Braids When Knight

Height: 5’1 (Yes, I’m short… only means i’m closer to hell)

Body Build: Skinny and Scrawny

Notable Features: N/A

Piercings: N/A

Tattoos: N/A

Scars: Small Mark on Left Cheek

Birthmarks: Thigh

Wardrobe

Style: Casual and Warm

Favorite Outfit: Dark Blue Coat Lined with Dark Grey Fur, Blue Jeans with Black Star Pattern, Black Fur Lined Boots, Grey Gloves with Ugly Sweater Pattern, Gray Knit Hat with Dark Grey Poof, Black Moschino Backpack with Optimus Prime Bear, Star Ring

Formal Outfit: Black Off Shoulder Asymmetrical Dress, Black Kitten Heels, Black Shoulder Bag with Silver Star Print, Silver Star Necklace, Silver Star Bracelet, Silver and Pearl Star Clip On Earrings, Silver Star Ring

Alter Ego Outfit:

Stick of Truth: Grey Tank Top Cut and Sewn Together with Shoe String, Long Sleeve Black Shirt, Black Hoodie, Black Leggings, Black Boots, Plastic Champion Belt, Plastic Gauntlets, Toy Bow and Arrow

Freedom Pals: Black Tank Top, Blue Galaxy Skater Skirt, Black Tights, Black Leather Jacket with Silver Star Pattern, Black Sneakers with Gold Star Pattern, Multiple Silver and Gold Star Bangles, Black Choker with Dangling Silver Stars, Silver Star Crossbody Bag, Silver Star Headband, Silver Star Ring, Black Lace Masquerade Mask

Accessories: Silver Star Ring

Scent: Vanilla, Green Tea

Relationships

Mother/Mother Figure: Roxane Tweedle

Relationships:

My mother is a very strange woman. She is very paranoid and always moving around the town. She is very attentive to my sister and I’s needs and tends to try to give us anything we could want (which doesn’t mean we actually want it). Whatever time she spends with us usually driving us around to wherever it is we’re going and it’s usually spent with us all terribly singing along to the radio and laughing. Mom isn’t one to want to sit and listen to us or to give us advice as she has a short attention span (probably where Olivia gets it from). She might not be the best mother but she does try and I still love her.

Father/Father Figure: Jackson Tweedle

Relationships:

My father, on the other hand, tends to love to sit and listen to (gossip with) us. He loves to try and smother with us with anything we ask for (Olivia and I honestly made it a game to see how far he would go to get us what we wanted… he has to fail). Dad is just as paranoid as mom is but he hides it a lot better. He was also the one that signed me up for martial arts which caused a huge argument between parents. My dad has been known to also beat the shit out of anyone who dares insult us or my mother (probably where I got it from).

Brothers/Brother Figures: N/A

Relationships: N/A

Sisters/Sister Figures: Olivia Tweedle

Relationships:

As dumb as Olivia can be, she is a very loyal friend and sister. I have, obviously, known her my entire life and she has never let me down (In terms of loyalty and reliability not much else). She can deal with my violent tendencies ad overly snarky demeanor. I can (most of the time) deal with her oblivious, careless attitude. We rarely fight and get along better than most sisters do and I’m pretty happy to have her as my sister.

Aunts/Aunt Figures: Nancy Tweak

Relationships:

Aunt Nancy is very sweet. She is always supportive whatever decision we make even if it might not be the right one. She is also pretty good at telling right from wrong and standing up when she thinks we’re doing something terrible. As supportive as she is she doesn’t really listen and is known to just leave us to our devices for long periods of time. She honestly borders on child neglect with how little she pays attention to us or Tweek.

Uncle/Uncle Figures: Richard Tweak

Relationships:

Uncle Richard is much worse than Aunt Nancy. All he cares about is his business and pays no attention to anything any of his family does. That’s not to say he doesn’t care, he does... he just cares more about his coffee shop. He also does anything to boost his shop which includes manipulating us and Tweek to do his bidding. Yeah, I don’t like my uncle.

Cousins/Cousin Figures: Tweek Tweak

Relationships:

I adore my cousin Tweek. As jitter and jumpy as he is I find him absolutely adorable. I’m usually the one to take the late night calls and now late night talks about pressure and Underpants Gnomes. I try to comfort him but it doesn’t always work cuz this kid is riddled with anxiety. When he’s calmer (calmer, NOT calm) he is pretty fun to hang around and his friends are pretty crazy. You wouldn’t think this but Tweek is surprisingly protective of Olivia and I. He has actually attacked some people he thought had hurt us emotionally or physically.

Nieces/Niece Figures: N/A

Relationships: N/A

Nephews/Nephew Figures: N/A

Relationships: N/A

Sons/Son Figures: N/A

Relationships: N/A

Daughter/Daughter Figures: N/A

Relationships: N/A

Current Guardian: The Tweaks

Relationship: I get along well with Aunt Nancy (I mean she tries), I hate uncle Richard (I know for a fact he’s the entire reason for Tweaks anxiety), and I adore Tweak

Current Significant Other: Kenny McCormick

Relationship:

Kenny McCormick was never the boy I saw myself dating. Simply put he was a major player and I wanted commitment.Kenny went around on any girl that moved and I was no exception, however, I was one of the very few who resisted his… charm. That got him interested and he is surprisingly persistent but so am I. It was a long game of cat and mouse where he would find me and drop cheesy pickup lines, offer compliments, and ask me out over and over while I offered sarcastic comment after witty comeback (if I do say so myself). The game turned into a surprisingly close friendship where the flirting got more jokey and less serious, where his true colors showed and that was when I finally caught feeling for the real Kenny McCormick. The overly perverted, vulgar, overprotective big brother Kenny. It didn’t take me to long to ask him on a date and imagine my surprise when this guy decided to actually give a committed relationship a try. I’m glad he did because now I know the jealous, overprotective, poorly timed joke slinging Kenny too. Obviously, we have a very touchy-feely relationship (which is weird because I’m not a big fan of being touched).

People

Mentors:

Advisor: Kyle Broflovski

Confidant: Kyle Broflovski

Teammates:

Stick of Truth: Humans

Fracture But Whole: Freedom Pals

Friends: Stan Marsh, Kyle Broflovski, Tweek Tweak, Butters Stotch, Token Black, Craig Tucker, Jimmy Valmer, Timmy Burch, Heidi Turner (I AM going to beat Cartman for what he did), Karen McCormick

Best Friend: Olivia Tweedle

Love Interest: Kenny McCormick

Rivals: Wendy Testaburger, Bebe Stevens

Enemies: Eric Cartman

Person Hated Most: Eric Cartman

Most Important Person: Olivia Tweedle

Awkward Around: Wendy when she breaks up with Stan, Tweek, and Craig when they’re fighting

Admires: Dad, Kyle

Past

Hometown: North Park

Childhood: Pretty normal, lived in a small town, small house, small family. Then, of course, our parents decided to go on some big trip and dump us with relatives for God knows how long.

Childhood Hero: JK Rowling (What? I like Harry Potter)

Most Important Memory: When my parents finally signed me up for martial arts after months of begging OR When I won my elementary school art competition

Present

Current Location: South Park

Living With:

Occupation: Student

Pets: Wiener Dog/Golden Retriever Mix named Oz

Health

General Health: Meh… I tend to get colds every few weeks

Reason: Apparently I have a sucky immune system

Mental Health: I’d say I’m sane, though, according to others that’s up for debate

Reason: I’m violent and pretty loud once I’m comfortable

Sleep Habits: I sleep like a log

Diet: Umm… I’m not on one

Exercise: Martial Arts, I Ride My Bike A Lot

Allergies: Dairy Products

Injuries: I get scrapes and bruises (I’m kind of a klutz)

Disorders: N/A

Deformity: N/A

Disabilities: N/A

Mutations: N/A

Handicaps: N/A

Medication: N/A

Education

School: South Park High School

Best Class: Art

Worst Class: Biology

Sports: Martial Arts

Clubs: Art Club

Languages: Spanish, English

Memory: Ok, I Guess

Abilities (Fracture But Whole)

List of Powers: Stellarkinesis

Moves:

Gravity Slam: Using the force of gravity to slam and hold opponents to the ground (Kick them in the balls/punch in the boob)

Shooting Star: Bringdown a star from space to hit a target (Chuck Firecrackers at them)

Plasma Beam: Use beam of plasma to harm enemies (Shine flashlight in their eyes)

Stellar Healing: Use stardust remaining from destroyed stars to heal teammates (Neosporin and Band-Aids)

Stardust: Use stardust to confuse opponents (Chuck glitter in their faces)

Abilities

Gravity Manipulation (Basically Telekinesis AKA Imagination)

Stardust Manipulation (Glitter)

Plasma Manipulation (Flashlight)

Origin: As a child, I was taken by a space god worshipping cult who attempted to sacrifice me to their god in a special ritual. Instead of dying, the ritual gave me the power to control the stars and become someone who could protect other children from being attacked and suffering my fate,.(AKA I wear star-shaped ring and own a lot of things with star patterns)

Elements: Space

Strengths: Stars, Night, Evasion, Long Range

Weaknesses: Cold, Water, Over-Exertion, “Nightmares from cult experience” (what the hell does that even mean?)

Restrictions: Over-Exertion of Powers

Immunities: Fire, Light, Sun

Combat

Fighting Style: Quick and Hard, Use Opponent's Strength, Momentum, and Weight Against Them

Weapons: Bow and Arrow (Stick of Truth), Hand to Hand

Personality

Good Traits: Loyal, Creative, Smart, Strategic, Athletic (Fast), Funny, Hard to Get Angry, Romantic

Bad Traits: Snarky, Overly Sarcastic, Explosive Temper, Likes to Hide Bad Feelings, Insecure About Glasses and Relationships, Stubborn

Likes: Animals, Art, Martial Arts, Laughing, Family, Games, Friends, Snow, Stars, Silver, Cheesy Romantic Dates, Reading, Cooking

Dislikes: Getting Angry, SOMEONE Insulting My Friends/Family, Swimming, Hunting, Being Touched by Most People

Turn Ons: Dirty Talk, Compliments, Jokes/Cheesy Pick Up Lines, A Little Rough

Turn Offs: Insults, Silence, Lies

Talents: Drawing, Martial Arts

Sense of Humor: Laughs at Just About Anything

Darkest Secret: Loves Cheesy Pick Up Lines

Does Anyone Know? Who?: Olivia and Possibly Kenny

Greatest Fear: Drowning

Why?: Can't Swim

Other Fears: Cartman Finding Out About Insecurities/Fear/That His Words Sometimes Hurt

Why?: Cartman is Cartman

Most at Ease When: With Karen, Kenny, Olivia, Kyle or Butters (or Any Combination)

Most Uncomfortable When: With Literally Anyone's Parents (They’re all so stupid… how are they even parents?)

Enraged When?: SOMEONE (CARTMAN) Insults My Friends/Family

Depressed When?: I Let My Stupid Insecurities Get to Me

Frightened When?: Getting Too Deep in Water

If Granted One Wish What Would It Be?: That I Didn’t Need Glasses

Habits

Hobbies: Art, Martial Arts, Reading

Instrument?: Nope (It'd be cool though)

Sport?: Martial Arts

Spending Habits: Um… If I Get Excited I Just Buy Shit but I MOstly Hate Shopping

Drinks?: NOPE

Smokes?: EW

Drugs?: EXTRA EW

Nervous Tics: Tugging on Earlobe, Chewing Lip

Favorites

Prized Possession: Star Ring

Color: Silver

Song: When The Day Met The Night by PATD

Quote: “Twinkle twinkle little star, do you know how loved you are”

Movie: Peter Pan

Food: Honey Butter Biscuits

Season: Fall

Book: Harry Potter

Genre: Fantasy

Flower: Stargazers

Flavor: Blueberry

Dessert: Blueberry Coffee Cake

Either/Or

Pessimist or Optimist: Optimist

Pacifist or Fighter: Fighter

Introvert or Extrovert: Extrovert

Proud or Humble: Humble

Messy or Tidy: Messy

Risky or Safe: Risky

Strength or Wisdom: Strength

Flashy or Simple: Simple

Long Range or Short Range: Long Range

Cats or Dogs: Dogs

Hot or Cold: Cold

Book or Movie: Movie

Loud or Quiet: Quiet

Logic or Emotion: Emotion

Work or Relax: Relax

Confident or Shy: Confident

Night or Day: Night

Out of 10

Knowledge: 6/10

Wisdom: 5/10

Motivation: 4/10

Agility: 6/10

Power Control: 7/10

Hand to Hand: 8/10

Long Range Accuracy: 6/10

Offense: 7/10

Defense: 4/10

Reflexes: 5/10

Speed: 7/10

Strength: 6/10

Sociability: 5/10

Bravery: 7/10

Confidence: 6/10

Generosity: 5/10

Endurance: 4/10

Evasion: 6/10

Kindness: 5/10

Creativity: 8/10

Charisma: 6/10

Memory: 5/10

Temper: 2/10

Patience: 8/10

[twilicat24]

Final Thoughts on SoT before we return to your regularly scheduled programming

Yo I finished the game so I can return to normal life again guys!!! Until I get a new computer and can play it and The Fractured But Whole without cut scene issues

But overall I really liked it? Uhhhhh spoilers for the end of the game if you haven’t played it yet but it is a four year old game sooooooo........

ha, underpants gnomes

“Oh fuck, guess we gotta kill him” yeah that was definitely my first suggestion

I’m smol!!!!

Seriously, what is so bad for me to remember?!

...well this is just lovely

the most I’ll say about it is them getting it on in the background really made the battle laggy and that’s lame

hahahah, this is even. worse. as a side note why is this the time that my fam decides it’s time to watch me play this great game

Yeah, this kid is scarred.

Aww, yeah, time to recruit the real heroes here........ goils

This whole “find-the-two-faced-bitch” thing is really... something

also what it wasn’t her

MAKEOVER!!!!!! Kenny and I can be gal pals

Ah, fuck, not you again

aaaand there’s the government, right on cue

Mixed feelings about giving Randy an abortion, because WHAT THE FUCK but also the Christmas Critters mountain lion cub abortion song I love it

Yay, Butters! Does this mean we’re cool?

I contemplated changing out of the surgeon clothes but when I saw the effects I decided against it and I’m glad I did

Aw, jeez, what is Khloe Kardashian doing in South Park besides getting an abortion

“Head north, and then north again. North... and then north.” LOL

Awww, but I like my outfit

wait.... ah hell.

Jesus, all this work just to find out if Heidi is a two-faced bitch

Nevermind, I fucking love Canada

Man, so much political drama in Canada

oh no, dire AIDS?! well that sucks

OH SNAP. Terrence and Phillip? THE Terrence and Phillip?!

Okay, no, wow, 8-bit Blame Canada? THIS IS THE BEST THING EVER

These girls, honestly

I am. The Best Fairy Princess.

Oh wow, they really did a job remodelling that bathroom

Time to kick Clyde’s ass! Again!

This infiltration is top notch

Okay, Craig, time to pay for your betrayal as though I didn’t do the exact same thing

nO SPLASH DAMAGE?! NOT COOL

“hey, it’s my favorite kid!” RIP Stan Marsh

Listening to everyone wonder aloud who could possibly shrink AND give abortions is just. great. I could watch this for a while

oh. oops. well FUCK

Okay, time to go up the gay man’s ass

Oh my god this is straight up the worst

Is that an EAR OF CORN?!?!?!

what... oh, no, Mr. Hat!!!!

This is just too much

Giving an electronic device an abortion is not as disconcerting as giving a man one, tbh

Okay, Kyle I know you’re suggesting I take a shower because I was just in the digestive system of a person, but I actually do need a shower, so I’m gonna hold you to that

Okay, all clean, time to face off with Clyde

Clyde, buddy, don’t be dumb

GUYS, YOU’RE NOT HELPING

Oh great, Nazi Zombie Chef

ah, fuck, I killed Kenny

Oh, yeah, who’s King now, bitch? ME THAT’S WHO

Ummmm, is Clyde gonna be okay...?

Gettin “Towelie” vibes

Don’t care, don’t care, we just wanna play our video game, DON’T CARE!!

3.2 Billion?! Goddamn

NO DON’T TELL HIM THAT STUPID

Awww, united by the power of friendship! Precious

Uhhh, Kenny?

Alright, did NOT see that coming

Thanks, Morgan Freeman.

“Oh my God, you killed Kenny!”

PSYCHE

wow, this is absurd

What? But... no! Not the balls! What has the world come to?!?!?!

“Screw you guys, I’m going home.” Well said, New Kid. Well said.

Seriously, is Clyde gonna be okay?!

Ah, good thing I raided everyone’s drawers as I went in their houses

Ugh, I have to know!!

Can’t go in their houses... damn...

Conclusion? Craig and Clyde are FUCKING DEAD

I may or may not do side quests next weekend, I’ve gotta carve pumpkins and shit. This was a really good game, and truly felt like an interactive, self-insert South Park episode. Well worth the zero/thirty dollars I paid for it, depending on how you look at it. (I prefer to think I bought two games for thirty bucks each, but maybe that’s just me)

[south-park-polls]

South Park Song Tournament

The Ballad of Lemmiwinks - The Death Camp of Tolerance (S6 E14)

Underpants Gnomes Work Song - Gnomes (S2 E17)

[south-park-polls]

South Park Song Tournament

Underpants Gnomes Work Song - Gnomes (S2 E17)

Make a Run for the Border - Fatt Butt and Pancake Head (S7 E5)