#unlearning that stupid need to be A Good Fan Who Knows Everything

[nariarts]

New Song Day!

The song that bewitched me ⬇️

I was initially gonna call this "holy shit! you're unwell!" but who's that for? The losers who said I wasn't a real metalhead if I couldn't identify songs they liked in the first 5 seconds? Fuckem

Notes I made for this zine yesterday. Who is this dickhead? We listen to music for ourselves, not for Spotify wrapped!!

[onewomancitadel]

002 with reylo :)

Hi anon thank you for playing along with me (: fic ask meme for those who want to play along and reblog

When I started shipping them:

Omg so I wasn't a SW fan, Dad liked the films but Mum always made fun of Luke and I don't think I ever sat down and watched any. I had this sort of friend I met at a music festival who was emotionally... complex and he had a fixation on getting other people to like the correct things (there's a whole backstory with him) and one of those that he worked on with me was SW, so he forced me to watch TFA.

I did so at his behest and er, yeah the forest scene/bridal carry was what did it for me. I was totally enamoured with it and still am to this day, I couldn't fully articulate it at the time but the Death and the maiden vibes were what I was all over.

It touched me on a very deep level that Kylo Ren forewent the practicality of the droid and took the girl instead (in his ARMS). There was so much there that did it for me from there, the interrogation scene where Rey overpowers Kylo was certainly compelling and so was their snow fight (that scene where she closes her eyes when their lightsabres are parrying... beautiful) - in fact there's so much material in TFA lol - so that told me a lot about their dynamic and why it was meaningful, but on a pure emotional level that really touched me.

Made that friend (not a friend anymore) very upset for liking SW incorrectly. Lol

My thoughts:

Everything that could be said about Reylo has been said and there's still yet more to say. It's my yardstick for other ships. Does it touch me on a deep emotional spiritual level? Does it make me swoon? Does it make me cry? Does it explain everything about the story? Is the belonging you seek not behind you, but ahead?

What makes me happy about them:

Forget the droid, we have what we need. I can endlessly quote Kylo Ren and I absolutely adore him and Rey. I just love how they answer each other's wounds and that both of them are really dead-set on what their role in the story is (uncomplicated good girl and painfully evil and intimidating bad guy) and it's so hilariously not what they are meant to be at all. I love Kylo Ren when he's around Rey and I love Rey when she's around Kylo Ren, I love them figuring out stuff about each other, I love how angry he makes her, I love how inquisitive he is, I love how much the dynamic is more complex than at first glance, I love the emotions, the brilliant, brilliant, brilliant hope.

I love what the fandom taught me and I love what the dynamic taught me about my personal taste and allowed me to start liking stuff. I'm a very insecure person and I didn't even have the capacity to fully enjoy things lol. Things that make me happy are bad. So unlearning that is hard and in my fandom life that started with Reylo.

What makes me sad about them:

That they didn't end up together with fat Jedi babies and heal the cosmic wound... that very sadly we got Reylo textual and canon, which was a win, but a Pyrrhic victory - Rose was written out, Poe had racist stereotypes attached to him, whatever the fuck they tried to say with the Stormtroopers was tone deaf and stupid, much of the film was just anodyne, corporate commercial bullshit and it should have been a three-year film (like the previous two films) instead of two and had Rian Johnson directing it. Whether you like him or not doesn't matter because it would've at least been fucking coherent.

It took me a really long time to feel remotely okay about Reylo to think about it in a happy way at all, like probably only until very recently. I was very very very sad for a long time afterwards. When the premiere confirmed our worst fears I cried lol.

This type of mythic romance feels and felt really rare... but I know what I'm looking for now, and though I don't think there'll be anything quite like Reylo - that same cultural and fandom moment - I haven't completely lost hope because I've learnt so much from it and what makes romance magic for me.

Things done in fanfic that annoys me:

Hahhahaha. I hate Dark Fuck Prince Kylo Ren, I hate Kylo Ren being forced to prostrate himself at Rey's feet and her positioned as Superior Being, I hate bad redemption theory (war crimes? War tribunal? Locking him up and making him talk to Rey through bars? Kylo Ren never fully redeemed? Kylo Ren ostracised permanently?), I hate sunshine Rey and Rey not portrayed as messed up as she is in canon and Kylo Ren being the obviously broken one, I hate anything that smacks of copy-and-paste romantic dynamics in general with the smug superior guy and the upstart bossy girl who never has any struggles except being just the right amount of sexy but not slutty (and still virginal, but the guy isn't) which is usually auxiliary to Dark Fuck Prince, I hate rivals-to-lovers... it's quite a list but it's a huge fandom with varying interpretations, made harder by the fact that TFA really led to a lot of people jumping to conclusions about the dynamic and running with familiar archetypes that were not there.

Things I look for in fanfic:

Soft Ben and Rey, Ben and Rey who are both in pain and vulnerable, brooding but not smug Ben, Rey being recognised as Ben's equal, good redemption theory (salvific mythic redemption with Ben fully reintegrated... I can only think of a few canonfics like this), anything that gets Ben's poetic voice right but also his casual voice and his tinge of sardonic humour shared with hers, fic that respects Ben's microexpressions as Kylo Ren - he does not smile and barely moves his face, communicates through his eyes,

but he does when he's 'Ben',

fic that respects that Ben respects Rey... I'm not necessarily looking for particular tropes or archetypes, I'm looking for the canon dynamic (canon with TLJ in particular that respects that Ben and Rey would not go back to being completely cruel to each other) but I read any setting.

In fact off the top of my head a lot of fanfics I've genuinely really enjoyed and touched me on a deep level were not canon-setting, and I think that's in part because writing effectively a third film is very hard as a fic author when something that is mythic might be out of your boundaries as a fic author, and it's a LOT harder to get right. So really I applaud any fic author that tries to do that whether or not we see eye to eye. Onya.

My wishlist:

People to stop being so weird about Reylo and enemies-to-lovers. It's okay to dislike it, just don't moralise it as an issue or make fandom fucking inhospitable for a lot of people and be so disrespectful to people with basic fucking interests.

I don't have any wishes for canon itself. That book is closed. There is absolutely no way they undo the third film and what it did and no way to redeem the wound. I doubt Adam Driver would come back for it because he signed up for SW under the understanding it would not devolve into schlock. Really you can't ignore the injustice done to the other characters with TROS either, so it's not a Reylo happy ending that's needed. What TROS was told us what the storytelling landscape is like now in commercial fiction: barren.

I don't think they can fix it unless they learn how to tell new and thoughtful and individual stories that make textual sense.

Who I’d be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other:

No. Absolutely not. Never. No one else. Rey is not boon for any of the characters. Poe does not get Jedi pussy (I've never had such singular spite for a writer, but fucking hell Colin Treverrow's script for the would-be third film was appalling). The romance is the thematic point of the Sequel Trilogy, it's the redemption, it's justified by virtue of it being Star Wars. When you canonship and the ship is so hard canon and the canon is the ship it just can't be written any other way. The only other way it could be written is if Kylo Ren is not fallen to the Dark Side and Rey is not the protagonist. You only get the effect of her nobody-status in respect to the Skywalker scion and prodigal son.

Finn would have to be the protagonist. They would really need to capitalise on the angle of the First Order Stormtrooper discovering himself and I wish that there were more of that in the first film or it could've conceivably been its own series but that would be asking for an original story, wouldn't it.

I think this is where the parlance for shipping gets muddy because once you've got a reading of canon intertwined with your ship it's not really just shipping anymore.

My happily ever after for them:

Fat Jedi babies, green Jakku, Jedi Order but with marriage, fully redeemed Kylo Ren/Ben Solo, Ben Solo's tentative and awkward and funny friendship with the Good Guys, full reconciliation, Rey not alone having found her belonging and completed her Heroine's Journey... you know.

It could've been so, so, so easy. I really don't understand how they didn't see the cashgrab there because selling Ben Solo hanging out with Finn is something you could've done in your sleep. They fucked it. They completely fucked it. All of my belief in the hope of pop culture, commercial storytelling, and good storytelling being able to exist died. I don't think franchises can do it; you can't make transformation and you can't stake any meaning. They wanted to turn the Skywalker name into a superhero mantle and they FUCKED IT.

So it taught me that at least and now I know. But I wanted them to be happy together. I wanted a happy ending. I wanted to believe in something good.

I watch this fanvid near weekly, near daily. It's basically the only thing that makes me feel okay about Reylo lol. It's my deep cosmic emotional wound, if you will, and it needs healing...

[another-cliche-title]

someone who based their entire view of world history on hetalia is better off than anyone who based their entire view of world history on paradox games

because if you've seen those guys...

ok apparently people are in actual-assed history classes after playing eu4 lol: https://www.theatlantic.com/ideas/archive/2022/03/history-video-games-europa-universalis/622892/

"Analyzing video games is particularly difficult for two reasons. First, their influence is hard to track: Teachers may not even notice that the student asking why the Ottomans didn’t colonize America or what happened to Burgundy may have a view of history that was molded by Paradox games."

OH MY fucking god is this real. imagine this was hetalia fan girls.

(ok if ur wondering i've watched hetalia and played paradox games before.)

“The student in your class that knows what Prussia is is the student that played Europa Universalis IV,” Devereaux said.

um yeah what about this guy:

the analysis of europa universialis in this article is pretty good & it's kind of scaring me how it is literally seeping into people's worldviews.

Want to play as a non-European and still succeed? You had better be willing to kill, conquer, and colonize—in other words, do what the Europeans did. Europa Universalis,like most Paradox games, rewards playing in a ruthless, expansionist way.

Europa Universalis encourages the player to act according to an extreme realist view of international relations, where the security of the state is valued above all and the ultimate way to ensure the state’s security is by maximizing its power in an anarchic world order. Few non-state actors exist in Europa Universalis, and the player’s actions have no real human consequences. It’s difficult to come away from a completed game without the sense that the rise of the centralized nation-state in Europe was due to the cold, hard logic of state security and power politics. This state-centric view of history is shared by most Paradox games, and leaves a definite historical impression that states, rather than people, ideas, or societies, are the sole drivers of history.

a really stupid ass worldview of state-driven history becoming really common among nerdboys on the internet who play europa universialis will have Some consequences down the line i think:

Jonas Srouji, a Europa Universalis player who works in the Danish embassy in Turkey, told me that he had to do a lot of “unlearning” after playing Paradox games. He found that the game’s state-centric and linear view of historical development wasn’t of much use in his professional life, which requires understanding the many nuances of Turkish history and culture. The games are a good starting point for learning about history, but given their current limitations, their history “needs to be supported by other sources,” he added.

honestly i've noticed online that this weird specific state-centric history model is really popular, especially among young guys who become Interest in History. not in like the social aspect like "Wow Damn Neoliberalism Changed Society!!" but like guys who are civil war buffs but only know about obscure battles and not "why tf did this thing happen and why do we care". a lot of it is a fascination with warfare.

a example is the youtube "mapping" subculture. they make timelapse videos of border changes of some alternate reality.

here's an example channel called AdizzPro & most of these are pretty much about war. turns out if you represent history as a map, everything boils down to war.

watch one of these videos and you'll see a pattern:

countries are given personalities and they literally talk to each other. lots of times they basically exclude any mention of a leader

lots of these videos use countryballs

i could say something deep about how this like, reflects on how we see countries on the world stage as these consciously acting actors instead of systems with zillions of people in them BUT no i'm gonna say THIS IS BASICALLY HETALIA!!!!!! countryballs is basically hetalia but for non-weebs

again war is the main focus especially since all we see is a map. sometimes cities are marked but nobody cares about anything that isn't a country or international alliance

we only see "invasions" happen once at a time, because of animation limitations but also because it's way more convenient.

views of wars in these videos are pretty outdated compared to the messy guerilla wars of today. you can interpret this as some sort of nostalgia for how war used to work. there's no such thing as "america playing with guns in afghanistan for 20 years and failing". countries borders move effortlessly and then IT IS FINISHED

a LOT of future scenarios, each a little tiny statement on how people view world politics.

and a lot of these are really inaccurate and idk if the creators know that. one example is BRICS being shown as a military alliance.

there's some crossover with map-based strategy game players (paradox games)

some channels make mapping videos of irl conflicts, like russia's war on ukraine.

a lot of alternate history fandom (idk what to call it) is like this too. people who are into alternate history are mostly interest in WOAAHH WHAT IF NAZIS.... had LASER GUNS!!!!

and my lame ass thinks it would be cooler to inspect history with something like "What If The Implications of the Floobert-Bloobert Economics and the Great Recession Were UnFloobertized, From The Perspective Of The Daily Life of First Generation Immigrants".

ok yeah it's kind of lame but alternate history would be a cool way to see how Shit Happens. like idk, analyzing how colonialism impacts culture and shit.

like if spain colonized japan i'm interested in weird little things like how "Just According to Keikaku" is now "Just According to Queicacu" in the same way how many languages in spanish-colonized regions adopted spanish spelling and some later getting rid of it all in a desire to decolonize their language

also the cuisine!!! the Indigenization of filipino tamales...

most alternate history though is focused on state actors. and obviously there's a lot of maps:

like here's one example. notice how the big phat red nation is basically filler lol. this is actually a pretty good map because most i've seen make africa 100% filler.

in conclusion i just wanted to make Observations about things that are on my mind. i kind of dont have a point and this grew out of a joke about hetalia but most of my main observations are:

state-centric views of history are like The Fuckin Plague. i kind of blame maps xd, but the emphasis on maps isn't the central issue, it's the state-centric view itself. it grows out of just honesty oversimplification but also views of history that are just plain kind of nationalistic (esp. if they're talking about europe).

i wish more people looked at history as more than "They SHOt people with Cool Guns that's so Cool" like ok i can deal with that but i think we have to deal with the uncomfortable uncool things. like ok you like the Nazi Aesthetic which is kind of questionable, hey did you know that the fucking holocaust happened. the holocaust isnt even in hearts of iron

idk i wanna make a alternate history but with less focus on war and more on social shit. also with linguistics because i like linguistics

[alatismeni-theitsa]

Yea there’s a lot of so called “greeks” and/or classics phd claimants in the LO fandom to excuse everything in it despite giving no proof otherwise. I’m not saying there aren’t Greek fans or people with higher education who read it, but it seems the ones who claim to be either (or even both!) seem to love to come to its defense and just make up whatever with fake credentials to justify it as the most perfect thing ever and actually it’s better than the actual Greek poems and hymns. You see this a lot in fandoms where the product just isn’t very good or is full of “toxic positive” fans (see: reylo fandom, marvel fandoms, Sherlock fandom, etc). LO fandom, as opposed to say the Hades Game fandom or Hadestown fandom who don’t cause any drama it seems, can’t and will not accept it’s not an accurate retelling and thus has to make up scholarly sources and scholars to justify it. It’s rather sad in a way. No one cares if you like a trashy romance comic loosely about Greek gods, but the fandom seems to have this insistent need for it to be deeper and more grand than it actually is and attacking others (including Wikipedia! A bunch of fans got banned from there for trying to edit the actual gods’ pages with stuff from LO as fact!) which has created a rather mainstream hatred of the comic itself, mostly created the fans being /that/way and people rightfully getting annoyed with it.

Ooooh yes I have a lot to discuss here so prepare yourselves xD

The Disclaimer

For starters, let me repeat, I and anon don’t have a problem with people who enjoy LO in general. We have a problem with those who claim it’s “the most perfect thing ever and actually it’s better than the actual Greek poems and hymns”, as anon said. And a big chunk of the audience is twenty-somethings and the creator herself is forty years old, so they had more knowledge and time for research.

The Doctors

I usually believe what people tell me and show me but I have seen people saying inexcusably stupid shit while supposedly having a “Classics PhD” so many times I am starting to think “this person is full of bs”. First of all, in my opinion, if you are closed to arguments and theories all the time, you are not an academic. If you have such a high degree and you can’t see why LO isn’t accurate, then you are not an academic. OR you are a very bad academic who only learned how to parrot stuff and has lost touch with what context means.

OR you are an academic who ignores interrelatedness between different fields. Perhaps you are a sociologist thinking “wow! see that Persephone isn’t abducted now? This is definitely a good work for our modern society” while closing your ears to the archeologists and classics professors (and to Greeks and Italians outside the field, when they can recognize some errors). And this leads us to the next section:

The Greeks

I can’t speak for the Italians and since most of the claimants say they are Greeks, let’s focus on them. As I mentioned before, I can’t scream “bullshit” that easily and I am inclined to believe many are indeed Greek. However, just being Greek or having a Greek heritage doesn’t mean that you know everything or that you can make a good analysis.

I’ve heard adult Greeks say “Zeus is a dick” because their exposure to the god was very superficial. I’ve heard adult Greeks parrot the “Persephone went down on the Underworld on her own” version. For a long time, I thought the Aethiopia of our ancients was the modern country of Ethiopia.

And if you enjoy LO and you are Greek, that doesn't mean it’s accurate. (And ofc you can recognize it’s not accurate and has its faults and still read it). Most Greeks enjoyed the Percy Jackson movies very much when they came out. I enjoyed the books when I read them. Does that mean they are accurate and have any Greek elements there? Nope.

In fact, Greeks are so used to being excluded when it comes to the Greek pantheon, they don't even notice it. If you think I or anyone else Greek in Greece was looking for representation when they consumed PJ media, you’ll be wrong. Perhaps there were some, but I never heard any Greek in the country say it.

You have to actively try and get out of a certain mindset in order to connect your heritage to those gods in the blockbusters. And many people don't do it because they don't have the time or because it hurts to discover how inaccurate everything is and how nobody gives a shit as long as everything looks aesthetically pleasing to the West.

And last, but not least, having a Greek heritage doesn't mean you know a lot about it. As Greeks in Greece don’t know a lot of things, so many Greeks of diaspora don’t know a lot. Sometimes they know even less, because of their special circumstances (assimilation, cut from one part of the family, Greek family members dying etc).

This isn't to shame people who happen to have little information about their heritage but those who don't have information and still want to play the heritage card. Heck, I can’t even play the heritage card. The heritage card rarely works alone because there are always academics who know more. But you can use your “experience in a culture” card and if this happens to overlap with your heritage, that’s great. For example, a Norse person having eaten baklava full of syrup can tell you NOT TO PLACE IT ON A NAPKIN, SMYTHE

The toxic part of LO Fandom

Some of you may have seen how I didn't like part of the design of the gods in the Hades game. Since many people liked the game and I didn't like that specific thing, I expected lots of hate in my asks or, at least, some arguments. Strangely enough, I got nothing.

There was one person who suggested I played the game despite this flaw and I though “I can’t believe it! Nuance! A Tumblr user accepted you can not like one thing and like another! And they approached me KINDLY!!” But it wasn't just that person, it was the whole fandom it seems. As you said, it's more level-headed and they know it’s a game (which is still a work of art, but not, like, Homeric Epic worthy).

While a part of the LO fandom is like: “A bunch of fans got banned from there for trying to edit the actual gods’ pages with stuff from LO as fact!” Which I hadn't heard and I want to unlearn immediately.

This was posted by a fan of LO in the Lore Olympus Reddit, and the overwhelming majority agreed. I think those who changed the wiki did it just for fun, I refuse to believe they actually thought LO is “canon” 😩

And we also have those people who mean well but they don't understand how culture works.

I am sorry but an Australian woman who doesn't even worship the Hellenic gods and just writes a webtoon with 2 Greek elements in it, is not the continuation of our traditions. 

(tell me if I need to blur the names. I don’t know if it’s a bad practice or not. In any case, don't send hate to those people)

Others use the phrase “nothing is canon in Greek mythology” as an excuse to fuck shit up. “Well, we haven't seen anywhere that Apollo DIDN’T rape Persephone, so we can very well believe he did”.

And others who, because they see the gods in a modern setting, try to apply modern and human morality to their ancient myths, deeming them “problematic”.

As the Hellenic phrase goes “from where to catch it and from where to leave it?!?!”  😂😂😂 Meaning in whatever place you touch something - aka the toxic part of the fandom - you will find different bad things, and even when you leave those bad things off your hands, it’s as bad as touching the bad things. Think of it like moving sand where you are doomed while touching it and not touching it.

All my brain juices went to writing this “sheet” of text (here we go, back to Greek xD) and I don’t have any for the epilogue. Imagine one yourselves.

[luckbeabugaboo]

jealous kiss for marichat please :)

Nonny, you were coming for my deepest of guilty pleasures with this ask and I appreciate it deeply lol. I hope this live up to your hopes!! 

October 7th entry in my “kiss a day” challenge (requests open).

26. Jealous Kiss (Marichat)

Like clockwork, Chat Noir landed on the bakery’s rooftop when the moon was at its highest point in the sky. He knocked in a pattern only the girl inside would understand and then perched himself on the fence to wait, tail swinging idly. Visits to her rooftop were becoming a bad habit and while he made his best efforts to convince himself that it was something he could unlearn, it was an unspoken fact that he would always come back. The smiles she gave Chat were so different from the ones she gave to Adrien; so unrestrained and warm. Chat didn’t blame her, he couldn’t fault her for her preferences. If he were being honest with himself his own preferences tipped in favor of the cat ears and tail too. 

Adrien Agreste couldn’t ever be this free. 

Marinette poked her head out of the door, shaking her head with a knowing smile gracing her lips. “We have to stop meeting like this.”

“Don’t say such cruel things, Princess. I don’t have any lives left to be gambling on a broken heart.” A hand rose to his chest to feign offense before he jumped down to offer her help getting up from the little hatch door. She slipped her hand into his and let him help her up. The touch didn’t linger quite as long as he had silently hoped it might. 

“You and me both.” She sighed before leaning against the bricks. “I don’t think I can handle another day like today.”

Curiosity sparked, but with a furious sort of concern in the underbelly. Sitting down on the ground beside her, he matched her tone. “Is everything okay? Do I need to hunt myself down a new scratching post?” 

“It’s just this guy.” Pink pajama fabric gathered between her fingers as she pulled her knees to her chest. It was heartbreaking to see someone who was so warm and bright be this defeated. “I’ve known him for a while now and he just… He does things sometimes that make me think that maybe he’s starting to see me. He’ll give me a long smile or he’ll compliment my outfit. I know it’s stupid to think that being nice and finding me attractive are even in the same boat. I just keep hoping that maybe there’s more to it than he’s letting on. And then I’m disappointed because of my own overactive imagination.”

Luka. She had to be talking about Luka. It didn’t quite add up, from everything he’d seen, there was sincere interest in Marinette coming from Luka’s end. Or at least it felt that way. He struggled sometimes to watch the pair interact because whether he liked it or not, he was jealous of how comfortable she seemed around the musician. She was never that relaxed around Adrien… er… him. 

“I don’t think it’s your imagination. You’re incredible, Marinette. You are so thoughtful and talented, I think that when Lu-- this guy compliments you, he means it.” Placing a hand on the top of her head, he ruffled her hair gently. It was in two low pigtail braids instead of held up, but he still didn’t want to mess it up. “Have you tried talking to him about how you feel?”

Pink dusted her cheeks. “It’s not that easy. When someone makes your heart race they also make words a lot harder than they need to be.” Pausing, Marinette cast him a long glance. Blue eyes were fathomless, deeper than any ocean and far more mesmerizing. “Have you ever been in love, Chat?”

He swallowed hard. That was a loaded question. “I think so.” Quirking a grin, an attempt to defuse the tension and silence the flashes of red and black that she had inadvertently sent to haunt him, Chat gave her head another little pat. “I’ve declared my love plenty of times. The more you do it, the easier it becomes. Here! Let’s purrrractice. You can pretend I’m whoever you like and try to tell me how you feel.”

This was absolutely, 100%, a terrible, awful, no good idea. But he was entirely confident that it would make her feel better one way or another. If she was embarrassed then they could just make a joke of it, and if she really just needed to practice wording things then he would be helping her get one step closer to something that made her happy. 

“Wh-- That’s…” Her blush intensified at first, but then it settled and she gave a little punch to his shoulder. “You’re absolutely ridiculous.”

“The wackiest cat this side of the river Seine.” Chat winked before nudging her shoulder right back. “Now I wanna hear this confession! Don’t hang meowt to dry here.”

She laughed, a light and happy sound that made any knots in his stomach disappear. “Alright, alright.”

Marinette turned her head to look up at him, her hands fidgeting in her lap as her eyes flashed with thought. He could practically hear the wheels in her mind turning. Patiently watching her, Chat let his eyes travel from hers. Gaze sweeping down the bridge of her nose, and settling for a few moments too long on her parted lips. He noted mentally the light trace of gloss, likely from a chapstick. The mental note was quickly shoved aside and he averted his eyes back to her own. She seemed to be studying him just as intently. They were both getting into character it would seem.

“Okay, I think I’m ready.” She breathed out. Wriggling her shoulders a bit, she looked away from him. “Hey, I… I have been meaning to tell you this for a long time now. We’ve, um, w-we’ve--” Her hands rose up to cover her face and she squeaked out an unintelligible sound. “Ican’tdothis.”

Chat withdrew his hand from her head and set it on her shoulder instead. “How about I go first? Maybe that will make it easier.”

Nodding a few times, it took her another couple minutes to cool off in full. Once her hands had fallen back into her lap and he could see the moonlight in her eyes once more, he felt the bravado he’d provided moments before starting to shake. He had told Ladybug his feelings plenty of times, none of which had resulted very positively. Usually he could play it off as a joke or offer her a smile when she let him down as gently as possible. 

“Chat?” Her voice rose quietly, almost concerned. 

“Sorry, sorry. I was just trying to decide what I wanted to say. Only my very best for you, Princess.” HIs smile gave way to her eyes rolling, a silent victory if there ever was one. Slowly reaching for her hand, he held it between both of his as he spoke. “Marinette, you are one of the most incredible people I’ve ever met. I can’t even begin to tell you how much of an impact you’ve had on my life. I know that we’re friends and I cherish that friendship with all my heart, but I think it’s only fair that you know how important to me you’ve become.” 

Marinette’s eyes were wide enough he was convinced he would get lost if he let himself stare too deeply. “Chat, I--”

“Don’t worry, I wouldn’t ever want to make you uncomfortable and if friendship is as far as you think possible, I totally get it. I'm lucky enough to be allowed a place on your balcony from time to time. Usually cats like me are stuck watching from the alley.” 

Bringing her hand up to his lips, he stole one last glance at her face before brushing his lips to her knuckles. That seemed like the right course of action to seal the fabricated confession. His eyelids fell shut and he shook off the strange ache in his chest. They shared a silence that lasted all too long before he broke it himself.

“Ta-da! A confession!” He opened his eyes and offered up a jovial snicker. “Your turn.”

Marinette seemed dazed. Her lower lip was trapped between her teeth and her eyes were focused on the hand he had returned to her lap. “My turn…” She echoed. 

A heavy breath was sucked in before she snapped her eyes up to meet his and offered a bright smile. His heart melted on the spot. “You wanted to tell me something, Princess?” He immediately jumped into character, tilting his head slightly to the side to feign curiosity. 

“Yes.” A hand reached out to sit on his knee and she leaned a little closer. “I wanted to tell you that I’m in love you, A-- Chat. I have been for so long and I’ve been so afraid to tell you. But I realized that because we’re friends, you should know. It doesn’t have to change anything about us, I don’t want you to think I’m just another one of your fans or for things to get awkward because you don’t… you don’t really see me that way.” She started strong, her voice tapering off as she progressed but her searing gaze never settling. 

“Just a fan? Marinette, you’re one of my best friends. I could never think that.” The instinct to soothe her kicked in and charged right past the logic of the situation. She wasn’t really confessing to him. This was for Luka, the blue haired guitarist had plenty of fans. He was a cool guy. He was a lucky guy. 

Her lip quivered and she curled her hand up into a little fist in his lap. “I worry what you think of me. You’re so hard to read sometimes. If you, if you don’t like me that way then we can pretend we never had this conversation. I just w-wanted… I wanted to get it off my chest.”

“I’m sorry that you felt like you couldn’t have told me sooner. You can always tell me anything.” Autopilot guided his hand to her cheek, cradling her face like porcelain he feared could shatter with ease. Luka had a poker face, that was true. But he was also pretty blunt. If Marinette went to him and was this honest, he would no doubt be just as compelled to reach out to her. She was so earnest and Chat wasn’t sure how to interpret the sudden jealousy that was hitting him in waves. 

She didn’t flinch away from his touch, but she also didn’t seem to have anything else to say. Chat was sure this was the point that he should let the act go. He should back up and give her space, ask her how she felt about that confession and if she thinks she’s brave enough to bring it to Luka. But he didn’t do that. Instead, he leaned in and pressed his lips to hers. 

The world froze but his heart pounded at double speed. She was kissing him back, her fingers digging into his knee and making his head spin. This wasn’t about them, this was just a proxy. Marinette’s confession was for someone else and Chat wasn’t entirely sure where he stood either. But for the entire duration of their kiss, he pushed aside whatever reservations were to be had so he could enjoy the moment. 

Like all lovely things, it was fleeting. She pulled back and looked at him with mystified eyes. Her cheeks were lit with a blush and he was sure his were the same. Under the soft moonbeams she looked almost angelic, and that sight alone made him feel terribly guilty. 

“Well, I’d say your confession is pretty great.” Chat laughed lightly, awkwardly. “And don’t worry, we can keep the kiss a secret. Cat’s honor. It was just part of the practice.”

Marinette nodded and he tried not to flinch. It was that easy for her. “I’ll let you know if I need to practice again anytime soon.” Her smile pressed into a grin and a shudder rolled down his spine.

[furin-chwan]

LuTen fic recommendations: a few favorites.

So I spent the last month falling in love with LuTen, Yukten, Tencas, whatever you want to call it. I read through the Chittaphon Leechaiyapornkul | Ten/Wong Yukhei | Lucas tag on AO3 in English, then doubled around to google translate all fics in languages that is not English because that is how much whipped I am for this pairing.

In the process, I discovered some gems that broke my heart, some healed my soul, some got me howling in laughters and some made me falling even deeper in love with LuTen.

Now that I’m pretty much up-to-date with the tag, I want to compile a short list of my All-Time-Favorites, Favorites, and Honorable mentions. I’ll try not to talk about the defails, so you don’t get spoiler and can enjoy it to the fullest. (I also want to say, I love reading things with Angst, but I mostly can’t stand if if it’s not Happy End. So there will be a couple that will hurt, as a warning)

This is gonna be lengthy since I ramble a lot! So I’ll keep it to top 3 and a few honorable mentions. They will all be completed works.

First off,

In Shades by the munchking.

This work. I cannot, CANNOT, recommend it enough. I have so much to say about it, but at the same time, I don’t know what really to say. It left me a broken, sobbing mess after reading it. I don’t think I was ever really the same anymore. This is truly one of the best work I have read, across all of the fandoms. There was a recess period where I cannot even think about it because it would hurt in the best way, but it was still too much. I love it with all my heart, so much that I was so sad after reading it, then so mad, then I now just re-read it every other day.

The characters, the world-building, the writings, they are just absolutely unparalleled. There is so much depths to everything, and everytime I read it, I would catch something about the story, the foreshadows, the tiny tibbits of brilliance that I never did before. I have this work always open on my phone browser, just so I can go back and quickly read it whenever the urge hits me. It has everything from angst, fluff, the smexy stuffs, the badass-ness, everything.

While I will quote the whole fic to find a favorite part, since it is that brilliant, I can’t do that hear because that’ll be spoilers, so here’s a snippet:

The trouble with love, Ten thinks, is that it blinds you. It’s the most powerful force in the world, and according to Ten’s first law of motion, objects in love tend to stay in love. Ten really doesn’t want to fight.

If I ever have to pick an absolute favorite Luten fic, it would HAVE to be this. This is bookmarked in my account as “All Time Favorite” tag with a “THIS ONE FUCKED ME UP, FUCK” in the note. So yes.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/20926073

Next, we have

Eyes Closed to the Wreckage by caesiumlight

This is the first Luten fic that got an “All Time Favorite” tag from me. I have an immense weakness for Spies/Super Agents AUs and darker-tone AUs in general, so this hits home right on first ball throw. The thrill, the badass-ness, the tension. I live for this (especially when we got SuperM’s concept of suits and gadgets, super agents/spies/soldier looking photoshoots and trailer, I am weak okayy?)

I am in love with how Lucas is written in here. The characterization is well done, and the interactions between characters is also such a feast to dive in. And even though it was in Lucas’ perspective, we still get to see so much of Ten despite everything.

Favorite part

There’s a presence at his side suddenly, and Lucas is pulled into an embrace. Ten cradles him securely with one hand gripping his. He doesn’t say anything, only strokes the back of Lucas’ neck. Lucas shakes harder in relief, breath stuttering, because he doesn’t know if he’d be able to pull himself out of this black hole alone. Ten holds him until he has nothing left, no tears left to soak the bloodied ground.

I have re-read this work five times, and even translated it into Vietnamese. So you know how whipped I for them.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/14311836

Then, it’s

I, who was chosen by love, begin to moonwalk by zimriya

I’m a simple fan who likes ABO verse, especially the old school Alpha/Omega pairing (hey, sometimes I just want to read the PWP). Then this work came at me with something completely different and hit me with substance not just style, and I was ended just like that. It breaks the norm for this type of setting, and I loved every second of it.

The ache in here is real, it doesn’t hurt like In Shades, but this one you feel a constant humming of the sweetest type of aches. But then it just... dissipate into this warmth of softness and love and it will be the best thing ever. Ten is also written differently in here than how most would portray him in other works which was interesting refreshing to see.

Even when the setting is not real, their troubles and thoughts still feel real, relatable, and believable, and I think that’s the best thing you can achieve in writing. And while it’s an installment of a larger series, it doesn’t make you feel like you are missing out on information, it feels full like a stand alone piece. (However I do recommend other installments of this series even though they are all in different pairings, Ten and Lucas do make pretty great cameos).

A couple part stood out to me, but this is one of my faves for sure:

like Yukhei didn’t worm his way in close to him like some sort of overgrown, over-dimpled weed, with bad manners and bad Mandarin and even worse ideas about personal space and how friends with benefits were even supposed to work. Like Yukhei wasn’t what he saw when he woke up more often than not, or the last thing in his sight before he fell asleep. Like he wasn’t the one who brought Ten coffee how he liked it and humored all his little issues with any and all fruits; taught him tiny bits of Cantonese like it was second nature and then turned around and acted like he was the worst at languages.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/21839893

That’s my top three most memorables! Now, here are some honorable mentions:

Stories no one believes in yet by umiwomitai

A very cute AU with good balance of humor, fluffs, and feelings. It is well written and I’d come back to this for a pick-me-up kind of moment.

“See, I may not look like Einstein, but I’m not stupid either. Xuxi is my dog, and you, though you might behave like one, are not a dog. Answer my question now,” he kicks the man in the thigh as he says so, earning a puppy look that makes him want to sigh in despair. What had he done to deserve this?

https://archiveofourown.org/works/19724677

I Regular by umiwomitai

This work is fascinating to me, it touches upon really interesting subjects (unlearning prejudices and biases) and has subtle but great the world-building. What stood out in this work for me is the great and believable character development. It’s definitely an emotional ride, but it’s a full filling one.

In the bright fake yellow light, Lucas’s hair appear more blond than brown and Ten wonders if it would feel just the same as his if he ran his hands through it. If it would hurt if he pulled. If it would curl back into place if he tried to style it differently.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/24288823

The Cure to Insomnia by Daydreamgirl

Softest thing ever. Seriously whenever I’m sad or hurt from reading too much angst, this heals me. It’s very wholesome too. Very much recommended.

Lucas immediately looked away from his phone and looked up at Ten. Ten was satisfied. He was sure Kun usually had to call Lucas three times to get him away from the phone.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/21461449

signs of my vitamin U deficiency by sugarcoats

Fun, cute, smexy time with fruit-phobia Ten and personal trainer Lucas, there was a banana bj involved what more do I need to say.

Can’t quote anything from this one because I thought the summary is enough to hook you.

In which Ten is afraid of fruits and Lucas, his nutritionist, finds it worrisome but adorable.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/18694945

the art of sales and falling in love by actuallyshua

Good old cat-and-dog style banter. Super charming writing. Bonus point with office AUs. It’s fun, it’s charming, it’s a gem.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/20132332

And that’s it, my friends. That is my list of recommendations for LuTen.

I hope you will enjoy them as much as I did. If there’s any work you love that I haven’t mentioend the price, please don’t hesitate to let me know through asks, comments/mentions, or dms. Please check out the fics above and give them much love and support from us!

P.s: I didn’t mention in the list, it’s just because I assume everyone who knows LuTen have read through that series multiple time. If you haven’t, please do yourself a favor and go read it.

[hesadollx]

Species: Human Sexuality: Pansexual Pronouns: He/Him Favorite Song: Cake By The Ocean by DNCE Big Three: Leo sun, Leo moon, Scorpio rising

ken has always lived a comfy lifestyle and it was never something he thought about much. money was never something he had to worry about, so he didn’t. all he cared about was looking good, treating people with respect, and not getting caught being stupid in public.

barbie was his first friend and his first and only love. he loves her more than words can describe. he has seen her grow into the strongest woman he knows and he honestly would be so lost in life without her. every time she would end things, it only made his love grow stronger because he knew it was for her, and he respected that more than anything.

everything has always came so easy to ken before he started gambling. getting his job? easy. getting people to love on him? easy. getting drugs and alcohol? easy. but he was an awful gambler and every lose just made him want to win more. it stresses him out, truthfully, especially because he has to be either slutted out or muscled-out by Lotso now because of it. 

he takes fitness very seriously. he goes to the gym twice a day. once in the morning and once at night. being this sexy come with a cost, sadly. 

he loves living in his dream home with barbie. it’s a pink home, because they are both big fans of pink, and it is a literal dreamscape of his. 

he constantly is borrowing barbie’s clothes. he also borrowed her makeup before she made him get his own. 

he likes to party but he doesn’t think he has a problem? like he loves the drugs and the sex and the booze but he thinks he has a decent grip on it when he wants to. he just doesn’t want to most of the time.

he is either always dressed up or hardly wearing anything. he works hard for his body in his opinion and he thinks it should be shown off here and there.

he is very dumb. like he hardly passed in school, but he did try his best! he just always did worse when barbie stopped tutoring him during one of their off phases. luckily, he does not need to rely on his brains to survive.

he loves glitter. very passionate about it. it is always on him somehow.

he used to really struggle trying to be “manly” but barbie really helped him unlearn a lot of that. now he just does what he wants and has a ball doing it.

despite the fact that he hooks up with people on the daily, he isn’t trying to fall in love with anyone. he only has eyes for barbie and he enjoys their arrangement. though every now and then he DOES get jealous of who barbie hangs around. 

he is a walking disco ball of a man.

[innermostthoughts]

Dear future me: 

i know for a fact sooner or later you’ll need this a lot more than you would like to admit. i know that lately there has been a lot of bad things going on and it’s all going to blow up on you because you have yet to talk to anyone about it and truth be told distracting yourself can only take you so far. it’s okay to talk about. i know you often feel like you’ll burden someone when you talk to them, but let me remind you of this! if they really do care they won’t mind listening and being there for you. i promise. i know that there’s new reasonings for self sabotage, new reasonings to feel disappointed in the most recent outcome that you’ve faced, the stress of being out of school for almost a whole week with exams coming up and dead lines literally running at you. the overthinking lately is probably killing you and everything else on top of that. there’s so much more i can say about the things stacking on you but its important for you to know what they are so that you know your limits. 

i know right now you’re most likely in your head saying things along the lines of: 

“I ruin everything”

“what’s the point anymore” 

“i’m tired” / “i’m tired of feeling like this” 

“i’m a horrible person, i deserve this” 

“maybe everyone is better off without me” 

i swear to you this isn’t the truth and that you’ve touched so many people. please do not let the self sabotage win, you are better then this and you are stronger then this. i know you’ll be able to pull through it.

so on that note-

it’s okay not to be okay. i know you’ve always waited for someone to tell you that, and just in case no one does, i’l tell you myself. you have to remember to SLOW DOWN. some of the things going on you have absolutely no control over, and certain other things you just gotta take on. just not all at once. as a person there’s only so much that you’ll be able to handle before you break down and get tired. there’s nothing wrong with it! everyone has a different limit and once you reach yours relax. i’m sure things are extremely stressful but you have people who are willing to sit down and talk to you when you need it. please don’t be afraid to reach out to someone, because being alone will never be the answer for you. 

do me another favor? stop overthinking and self sabotaging. all throughout your life you were always compared to someone else whether it was your parents comparing you to your cousin(s) or your friends comparing you to whoever for whatever stupid reason it was. you should be your own biggest fan! there are so many good things you have going for you, and i can promise you this one thing. you are a good person with a good heart. changing takes time and yet on top of everything you still manage to slowly unlearn your toxic habits, yes you have your set backs but who doesn't? in a weird way it’s like a little baby learning how to walk. they fall multiple times, which would be your setbacks, but eventually in time they get it. and that’s how it has to be sometimes. not only that but don’t forget to prioritize yourself. just because you always feel like the second option doesn’t mean you have to be a second option to yourself. I know that right now it might be really hard but your someone’s first option please don’t convince yourself otherwise. 

On that same note i want you to trust the process. i know how hard it can be to focus on the good. life works in funny ways. everything happens for a reason and some journeys will take longer then others. always remember that no matter what will happen in this crazy life you will end up where you belong and right in this moment, as i write this, i have no doubts about that. I know some day we’ll be proud of the person we are becoming. right now it may feel impossible but we’ll get there.

keep your head up, keep going and moving forward. there are bigger and better things for you out there. you support others, and some support you but it’s also your turn to support yourself. 

always, 

your past self.

[mmecolbert]

I'm spreading positivity, my fellow Rogan fan :) Name five things you love about Rory, five things you love about Logan, and five things you love about them as a couple!

nice, nice, nice, nice, nice :) :) :)  

here we go!

Rory

She’s forgiving. While Lorelai holds a grudge forever, Rory gives people chances over and over again. She sees the best in people and is willing to put her own needs and ego aside, to give people a second (and third and fourth and fifth) chance. It’s a rare and wonderful trait. And it’s a dominant one in Rory. 

She’s not vain. She doesn’t do anything for admiration, awards, accolades, or praise. She studies and learns and develops to be the best person she can be and to create things the best things she can create.  Rory purely and genuinely wants to do her best. 

She’s patient. Her anger fuse is insanely long. She can take on a ton of crazy around her and keep her cool. If I had a mother like Lorelai, I’d have lost my shit before I turned 10, because Lorelai is irrational and immature most of the time. But Rory is surrounded by crazy all the time (between Lorelai, SH, her grandparents) and she manages to keep her cool, get people to refocus, calm the situation, diffuse conflict, etc., without breaking a sweat. It’s awesome. 

She is so selfless, which makes her a grade A+++ friend to everyone. I mean I just watched an episode where she woke up at 2 am to watch Lane’s band perform some gig. She has bad moments, but she puts an admirable amount of time, energy, attention, patience, everything into trying to make the people around her happy and fulfilled.

She’s passionate. When Rory gets excited about something (e.g., books or school or a story or a boy), she gives it her all. It’s so genuine. I think everyone in the GG world is charmed by this in Rory. And so am I. 

I’ve always kinda felt that the reason why so many people dislike Rory and only focus on her bad qualities is because her good qualities are “quiet.” They’re not loud, in-your-face type of good qualities. Like…Lorelai speaks her mind. That’s a loud quality. Rory however walks around trying to create peace and harmony and make sure that everyone is happy. She’s agreeable. She’s a mediator. These aren’t fun or loud or obvious qualities. But they are so necessary for everyone to not be at war with each other. I feel like Rory carries the burden of making sure that everyone gets along and is happy, even to her own detriment. And I appreciate that because without people like her, the world would blow the fuck up. 

Logan

He’s self aware. He says so many throwaway lines that suggest that he’s intensely aware (and doesn’t appreciate) that how people treat him is 100% because of his last name, his money, and his power, not him (Rory being the exception, and he loves her for it). He knows that there are limits to his preordained life. He knows his flaws and attributes as a person and a partner. That’s a damn rare trait.  

He’s pretty much the only good communicator on the whole damn show. He’s not perfect, but overall he does express what is on his mind and invites Rory to do the same. He expresses his feelings and where he’s coming from. He always asks Rory what she’s feeling, thinking, and wanting. He asks for clarity in their relationship. Very good, Logan. Very. 

He’s fun. In a (GG) world that equates “good” men with surly, angry, cantankerous ones, Logan stands as one of the few who is good-natured and fun loving. He tries to seep in all the joy in the world and share that joy, happiness, laughter, and good time with the people around him. 

He’s generous. Logan will give anything (time, money, resources, energy, whatever) to please others. He’s always game for whatever anyone wants to do, and he is more than happy to help along the way. He’s very attentive to people’s needs and does all he can to meet them, it’s great.

He’s happy. While I do think there’s a well of sadness (thanks Mitchum) under the persona, Logan is overall a very positive, warm person. He’s just so smiley and seems to enjoy (or find joy) in any situation. He always shoots towards optimism and happiness. I just like people who try to see the best in the world and do their part in injecting it with good vibes. 

I feel like a lot of people see Logan’s enthusiastic, fun loving, confident personality as hedonism, immaturity, and arrogance. And I completely get that. But I personally have zero patience for serious, sulking, angry men. Just about all men that I meet in real life, literature, TV, whatever, I can only tolerate when they’re happy, fun, and good natured. When it comes to men, I don’t care how much they feel on the inside—if all I experience being around them is anger, pessimism, and general negativity, then I want nothing to do with them. Logan is the opposite—he exudes joy and fun and excitement. I love him. 

Logan/Rory

They really like each other. This is a big one for me. I love that they are both aware of each other’s flaws and attributes, and they get a kick out of them. They seem to really enjoy each other (and how different they are) and appreciate how one complements the other. To me it’s a relationship based on deep friendship and respect for who the other person is, and because of that they truly enjoy each other’s company. That, to me, is what long term relationships require: do you genuinely like and respect this other person? If yes, then you’ll enjoy being with them for the rest of your life. I think it’s a yes for Logan and Rory.

With that said, they do push each other to be their best selves. And importantly: they both respond well to the push. Logan brings Rory out of her shell, he helps her get out of her head and relax and have fun. His confidence helps her own confidence. And I think Rory needs to have people around her that push her this way (Lorelai and Paris are similar in that regard). In turn, Rory pushes Logan to focus and face his responsibilities. So Logan elevates Rory and Rory grounds Logan, which helps them both become their better selves. And neither ever struggles with that push—out of love or respect or deference, they both accept that the other is trying to help them and do whatever without struggle. 

They are very supportive of each other. Neither Rory nor Logan ever tells the other what to do. It’s an equal partnership. One fully supports the other, no questions asked. Rory decided to steal a boat? Stupid, but let’s do it. Rory decided to write a book? Have a house to write it in! Logan decided that LDB events should take up his whole intellectual capacity and energy? Have fun, but pls don’t die. Logan decided to accept his destiny? I will support you until you explicitly state you don’t want to do it. That is their relationship. Fully supportive. Ride or die. 

They (thanks to Logan) have some of the best communication of all the GG couples. I guess because Logan/Rory ran mostly parallel to Luke/Lorelai, I really saw the contrast in the couples’ communication and I enjoyed watching Logan coax Rory into sharing her thoughts and feelings with him. Logan likes clarity and communication, and Rory learned the value of that while with him (or, unlearn Lorelai’s bad example?). They ran into problems as soon as that broke down/Rory reverted to her old patterns. But when they were communicating openly and honestly, you could see just how solid their relationship is/could be. 

They’ve never been bored together! I love that they both said this to each other in AYITL because it’s so true and I feel like this is such an important necessity for both of them. They are both easy going, open minded, adventurous, and have seriously well developed imaginations. I think both of them need a partner who cannot bore them. And the two of them will never, ever run out of things to do together. As long as they are together, the do and will always create, find, and have fun. To me it’s such a joy to watch two people in love who, without a doubt in my mind, could spend every single day of their lives together in absolute thrill with one another.

ANSWERING THIS BROUGHT ME SO MUCH JOY. THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THIS!!!!!!

[taylovelinus]

ppl on facebook really be calling taylor a "money hungry bitch" as if your goddess k*m k*rdashian hasn't made an entire industry in which she capitalizes off of the insecurities of young women, and convinced them that they're ugly and need her overpriced shit to look beautiful. Taylor is the "money hungry bitch" who gives back in every way she can, cares about her fans, cares about people in need, helps sexual assault victims and abuse survivors, puts money into education, and countless other things. Taylor is the "money hungry bitch" for standing up against streaming platforms fucking robbing artists, ESPECIALLY small indie artists? Someone also tried to accuse taylor of "demonizing poc" because of the nicki minaj twitter thing in 2015. really? as if taylor didn't apologize for it, nicki forgave her and spoke about how it was all good, and taylor is now using her voice and her platform to speak up on these issues and many others? As if Taylor isn't finding her voice and is using her influence to stand up for minority groups? really y'all?

listen. i'm not stupid. taylor grew up /very/ privileged. she's a white girl who came from money. she lived in pennsylvania and nashville, which aren't the worlds most progressive places. however she has done a LOT to unlearn some of the prejudices she may have had, has done a LOT of work to unlearn her white feminism and work towards intersectionalism, and works hard all the time to be a better person - almost like we should all be working toward that same thing. No one is born woke, especially not a privileged girl like Taylor; but instead of berating her for not knowing, for not being woke from the moment she was born, enocourage her to do better. to keep learning and educate herself when she messes up. she is still not a perfect person and is not without fault, even now, but no one on earth is going to be perfectly woke every waking moment; life is a learning experience and people change. what's in their heart is important. she's never done that shit with the intention of hurting people. it's ignorance, and sometimes people aren't as informed as they should be. doing something out of ignorance of the severity and depth of some issues is different from doing something with the intention of causing harm. baseless, black and white cancel culture is sooo toxic. people really be treating tay like she's the devil when we let other celebrities (ESPECIALLY men) get away with a plethora of other bullshit that they need to be held accountable for, or are not burned at the stake for doing the SAME stuff tay has done in the past. but sure, demonize taylor, cause that makes sense.

anyway, i'm gonna go back to stanning my unbothered queen who does everything in her power to be a better person, and better the world where and when she can, and the rest of y'all can stay mad about it.