#unrelated but i kinda hate how hard it is to find some of these. not all the extras end up in the volumes. the fan scanlators didnt include

[vamptarot]

Why I Think Your Insecurity Is Beautiful | PAC

𐀔 pile one 𝜗𝜚 pile two ✮ pile three

how to choose a pile . . . choose whichever you feel drawn to or ask your guides to guide your eyes to the one that is meant for you! ᡣ𐭩

— ⭑.ᐟ accidentally turned out as a pep talk pac </3 well, not completely, but I apologise 🫡 not proof read.

𐀔 pile one : – teddy gems !

𐙚 : knight of swords rev. , eight of swords rev. , knight of cups rev. , king of swords rev.

bottom of the deck : queen of swords rev.

♡ ⢷ why I think your insecurities are beautiful

I can see from the cards that people in this pile have body image issues due to bullying, self harm, e.ds or simply being put down by family members through inappropriate comments.

This especially could be true if you are not average weight for your height, don’t like the way your leg looks or don’t enjoy the way your stretch marks look on your body. It could potentially make you feel like you aren’t attractive, and that the people you are interested in wouldn’t even give you a second look.

Well I am here to say it’s not true, and it also doesn’t matter.

Your life shouldn’t revolve around romantic validation. Of course, you can care about the opinion of your romantic interests, how they view you and what not, but your life is yours. Whether or not there is someone to love you in a romantic manner you are beautiful, valid and possess a wonderful soul.

You are uniquely you, no one can do it like you but you only.

There is so many wonderful things about you, who gives a (what) about the opinion of people who won’t even matter in five years?

Don’t stress yourself out over things that are not worth your time beautiful.

Besides, I do think that your body is very pretty. “Oh but you don’t even know what it looks like! “ Yes I do, I have the gift of clairvoyance baby.

Of course, I do not mean this in a creepy way at all. [for those with uncomfortable or horrifying looks on their face.. ] Rather, what I mean is that your insecurities don’t take away from beauty at all, I would argue they add even more to it.

Your scars? They are here to tell us that you went through something horrible and came out winning. Or will. You don’t have the energy of someone that would lose themselves completely anyway, my beautiful pile one is a fighter!

Regardless, I just think that you are so cool, you went through all that yet you are still here today, trying your best to survive. Even if you don’t see it that way, I just think you are so strong.

Some people in this pile are also underweight, due to health issues, one unrelated to e.ds. You could be insecure about that, especially if your bones show. [Around your shoulders, is what I see for most of you.] I would like to say, please don’t beat yourself up about things that are out of your control. You are literally so pretty!! I like your eyes, and I am pretty suuure many people like your lips too. People that are romantically interested in you. There is quite a few, you just don’t notice due to being in your head a little too much. You kinda remind me of Bella Swan, but just a bit smarter and more mature. I just so happen to love twilight and find her sooo pretty… I am sure it’s hard to go through the things you do, but your personality, soul and outter appearance is full of beauty because it’s so clear that your heart is so full of love. So what if you are not someone’s type? Fu.. them, who cares lol You gonna be naturally beautiful regardless of their opinion.

You could also hate your stretch marks because they remind you of a time of your life where you didn’t like yourself, or for some of you they remind you of a part of yourself that you aren’t proud of.. Well guess what, I got them too, now we are matching baby girl / baby boy / baby 🙂‍↕️🤞🏻 [in a platonic way, of course <3<3]

No but seriously, you tell me WHY wouldn’t it make you more beautiful? If you don’t like them that’s okay, but beating yourself up and bullying your own self over something like this is not okay!

Your health comes first baby, don’t be the main cause of your misery. I think your stretch marks are beautiful, they wrap around your body like a hug.

Besides, if you don’t like it you can get rid of them.. but I don’t feel the need to, after all they can be a sign of your hard work. And I mean that! I don’t look at those sort of things, but if you pay closer attention to the instagram pics of some body builders I am sure you will be able to find a few with stretch marks. Also some artists! I love looking at concert stages, and I am pretty sure if you do too you will see some people, both women and men, have stretch marks regardless of size.

It’s really not an indicator or shame, it’s the indicator that you have a human body with human needs and reactions. It will never make you ugly no matter how much you want to believe it will. It just won’t, matter of fact a lot of you in this pile are sexy af but don’t even know it because you care too much about what other people think. 😵‍💫

It’s okay tho, I get it. Just don’t be too much in your head.

On that note, if you have a darker skin complexion please try body glitter on your stretch marks. I am specifically seeing yellow and blue. You will look pretty / hot af trust 🙂‍↕️ [ only calling adults hot also 🫡 ]

♡ ⢷ what you can do to be more confident

This will make me sound like a b!tch, and I don’t mean to be.. But a diet could possibly help and make you feel more confident. [Why are you getting mad, I told you it will make me sound like a b!tch!?] Of course, I don’t mean this with any sort of malicious intent.

A lot of people think diets consist of depriving yourself from food. Which is not true at all, diets depend on multiple factors including your health, weight, lifestyle, eating habits and so on. That’s why dieticians exist!

The sort of one I am thinking of is actually just balancing your meals. Now, I am no control freak so I won’t give you a whole schedule or ‘dos and don’ts’.. I just want to tell you that it is okay to eat both healthy and unhealthy food. That way, your immune system will be healthier and you will get more energy to actually do the things you want to enjoy and participate in. Whether that’s working out, going outside on walks or to the mall, drawing, painting, writing… is not my business! You can do whatever you want, I am only here to remind you that you don’t need to starve or deprive yourself in order to be healthy. It’s actually bad for you.

If you want to eat a kinder bueno after your avocado toast, or eat a burger bc you ate a home made meal the other day you should go ahead and do that baby girl / baby boy / baby mhm mhm 🙂‍↕️

Don’t take away good things from yourself just because you feel like you don’t deserve it.

That goes for food and other things you enjoy. If you wanna buy a cute lipgloss, buy the cute lipgloss. Don’t worry about overconsumption. I am being so serious, most people in this pile worrying about it have only a few lip products that are pushing being 5 years old or even older.

Spoil yourself, you deserve it. Even if you don’t in your eyes.. who gaf ? There will always be someone who thinks of you as undeserving of things because of their own misery. So just do what you wanna do, live life for yourself. Maybe it’s your last. Enjoy it!

So what if you don’t know how to use it? lol.. You will learn along the way. No one starts out perfect, and if they do, they are lying! [If you do really struggle tho, @/clownmakeupmua on tiktok did help me a lot!!]

If you wanna buy that artsy stuff.. do it! I promise you aren’t wasting money if most of your stuff can be bought for 5-10$ and then that one thing is like super expensive. You deserve nice things whether you like it or not!!! Your mental health matters and if you need to pamper yourself to feel better that’s okay!!! It’s not a crime to love yourself, neither is it a sin!! 😤 No, seriously, I mean those things.

You are wonderful, the world is already cruel, so you shouldn’t be that to yourself. I know getting out of habits and thinking patterns can be hard, but eventually you will need to have a different perspective of them to heal. It’s okay if it takes long, do it step by step at your own pace. You will eventually get there.

♡ ⢷ five things that are cool about you

one - you remind me so much of the song dancing queen by abba.. or you know, from mama mia if you aren’t familiar with the name. I think you are just like that song. many people think it’s not something they would vibe to.. but then they hear it and can’t stop singing along. with you, people think that you might not enjoy them around since you are introverted, but as soon as they get to know you better they crave your presence, they want you to be around. over and over, they want to spend time with you whenever they can.

two - the body is BODYIIIIING. I do not care what you say, it does, you are beautiful! you look soooo beautiful in red! let that be a shirt or lipstick.. this is especially true for someone reading this pile that’s into vintage fashion! 20s - 40s? whichever decade it is, trust you would KIIIILLL that look. [you know, like, slay..] try it if you wish 👀

three - do you have the sort of relationship with your friends where you are like siblings? the one where you can tease them or mock them, but if anyone else does you will make sure that they will regret it? because that is so cool about you. as I was growing up, I had a very close friend who was like that to me too. they always made me feel safe, and that’s what you remind me of. the feeling of safety. I am sure people around you are very comfortable. and that’s so cool!

four - you have such a good music taste I am hearing, mhm mhm 🙂‍↕️ matter of fact, if you chose this pile pleaseee recommend me songs you like regardless of when you see this. even if it’s months or years after upload!! I feel like your music taste is so fun, it could definitely get people hyped up or in their feels.. the people around you for sure always listen to whatever you recommend! it’s like, they can’t really go wrong with it

five - fashion on poiiiint, like you just ATEEEE.. no I am serious, I do think your accessories are very cool and put the whole picture together. it can be your shoes, nails or jewellery, you always choose well! it suits you and it suits your outfit. this especially goes if you are a guy / man, because it’s hard to dress fashionable by default but you do make it work so well 🙂‍↕️ and the ladies in this pile have such an unique sense of fashion they stand out from any piles 🙂‍↕️ my fashionistas 🙂‍↕️

— ✮⋆˙ : girl groups , lolly by maejor, juicy j & justin bieber , sweet tooth , adele (hell yeaaaaah) , messy hair , box dyes , long nails , ‘my babysitter is a vampire’ , 00s , mango , amigo , the statue of mother Mary crying , fertility issues

that’s all for now my beautiful pile one! your reading made me sooo sad because you are literally such a cute, cool and pretty person and yet you don’t see that.. do you want me to get that talking mirror from snow white so he can tell you himself?! bc imma get it 🤨 jokes aside, idgaf if you are the fairest of them all or not, you for sure are the loveliest! mwa <3 thank you for reading!

paid readings

𝜗𝜚 pile two : – sweater !

𐙚 : nine of wands rev. nine of pentacles rev., ten of pentacles, seven of pentacles

bottom of the deck : five of swords

♡ ⢷ why I think your insecurities are beautiful

You know what, I actually started out your reading sweet and kind, thinking it’s about being behind in life and about financial issues. Even gave you a song recommendation. Then tumblr deleted the entire section… 🫡

So, I spent more time looking at your cards.. meditated, connected to your energy. Eventually, I figured this is my troubled pile.

Simply, you are not proud of the person that you are. Lucky for you, I am the ‘I can change him’ sorta gal 🙂‍↕️

Of course, I am just joking. I am not here to change anything about you, I am here to uplift you.

Before I will do that, I will tell you about a celebrity that I used to like as a kid. I do not care if you don’t know much about celebrities, because that’s not really relevant! I am bringing him up because many people in this pile can relate to his story. If you can’t that’s okay, it’s not a message that was meant for you but for someone else.

Either way, have you ever heard of Kim Jisoo?.. No, not the blackpink one, but the actor! He was accused of doing bad things in his childhood, which he admitted to and apologised for because even if he changed as a person, guilt and anxiety always followed him. Even though he did that because he did think it’s the right thing to do, to be fair and honest, people made more accusations against him. Heavy ones. He was then kicked out of the company, and black listed from being an actor in Korea. You know what’s the thing though? Each and every accusation after his apology was false, the person didn’t even know him. Yet, many people still blame him for things he has not done.

My dearest pile two, I can see you not caring.. at least some of you. However, I did tell you this because you remind me of him in a sense. You know you have made mistakes, some worse, some almost insignificant by now. You own up to it, you have made the apologies necessary, you are the sort of person that doesn’t shy away from accountability because you are pretty mature in your own right. Yet, people like to lie about you right? Twist your words. Ruin your reputation as if it was nothing but fun to them. Then they call you crazy when you get angry, potentially even gaslighting you. It’s annoying.

The sort of regrets people have here are different from one another. Some is just things like yelling at a loved one, while others are much more graphic to the point I do not believe it’s appropriate for me to detail them. Though, not as vile as you might believe.

Enough of that though, I should get the the point.~

Your insecurity seems to come from deep within, from your soul. You worry that you are truly a bad person, not able to change.. That there is something inherently rotten inside you.

I am here to tell you that’s not true. I think you are pretty neat. Yeah, sure, everybody has regrets.. so what? They are regrets for a reason, it’s not truly who you are but mistakes you have made when you were in a vulnerable state of mind. That is not a sin.

Making one bad decision doesn’t mean you are immediately a bad person. Neither is making several. Especially if someone else forces or pushes you to! Come on now sweetheart, think from a higher sense of your being. Truly bad people don’t care they are bad even if they know, they just enjoy the pain and discomfort they have caused for other people.

That’s not you, I can see that you have a such a kind soul. I know what you did, and I do not care, because I still see the good in you.

You are kind to kids, the elderly, strangers on the street.. even if they don’t necessarily deserve it. Seriously, you are the sort of person that gives up seats for other people. (Especially if they are vulnerable, such as someone pregnant, elderly or injured.) The kinda person to stop to pet puppies, to feed stray animals and not care if they come back because it just means you can feed them again. You don’t see an issue with it. The sorta person to hold younger people’s ears when there is a fight so they aren’t scared. You just give and give and give.

You are so unconditionally generous, it’s actually shocking. With your time, money, food, resources, abilities.. is there something you don’t give? [I do not mean this in a mean manner 🫶🏻, it’s a praise. I adore generous people.]

Even when you are hurting, even when you are angry.. you hold it back and think of the happiness of other people. It’s like hurting other people is your greatest fear.

Yet you keep on emotionally hurt yourself, like a bully. Please stop with it, I don’t think you deserve it. Why would you judge someone based on the lowest part of their life? I know you wouldn’t, and since you are a person you deserve the same kind of respect you give to others. From within and from outside.

You are not a doormat, you are not an animal, you are just you. It’s okay to treat yourself gently, I just see a hurt kid when I look at your soul. You remind me of a little lamb. So vulnerable, yet so mistreated.

If you need to, please find yourself a safe space, a support net. It’s okay to rely on other people, I think if you allow yourself to heal the beauty in your heart will be seen in every step you make. You remind me of a pretty flower field as well, so sunny and bright.

I am sorry for the amount of comparisons in this pile, you are seriously so beautiful, chic, elegant, talented and lovely. I don’t want you to think, not even for a second, that you are anything less than deserving of love and peace.

You are so beautiful, constantly trying to make up for your past mistakes.. making sure that people don’t end up hurt like you do. There is so much nurture and worry in your heart.

The past is the past, live in the present.

♡ ⢷ what you can do to be more confident

Defend yourself. It’s okay.

Like genuinely, if you feel like someone is being too much it’s okay to defend yourself. You have a right, and just because someone doesn’t like you it won’t make them entitled to lie about you or hurt you way beyond what any human should take.

Speak your truth, but be disciplined. That way, who truly can say anything about you? Even if they won’t like you, people won’t bother you if you keep true to yourself, if you speak from your heart honestly.

You are not deserving of being bullied or hurt. If someone treats you as a pushover or looks down on you show them that whatever little ill fantasy they have created in their head of you is wrong. You are much more than what you let people on, I truly believe that.

You are really cool, ya know? Of course it’s okay to have doubts, but I think one of your beauties is that you have so much mental strength in you. Just don’t surpass it, as it could make things harder to deal with.

Something that you can really benefit from is to not let your feelings and emotions build up over time, especially if you struggle with anger issues. This could lead to you being so pent up with frustration that you end up letting it out on other people 😞

It’s okay to be angry, but you shouldn’t let it consume you. Feel your emotions for 20 minutes, then just let them go, allow yourself to let them go and not cling into them as that’s unhealthy for you. You can learn and grow, but you have to actively choose that for yourself.

If you experienced past violence, bullying or anything of the sort… also let them go. You don’t have to forgive them, it’s your choice to make not mine.

Do you know that saying that goes sort of like, “ there is always a man watching you, even in your mind/fantasies “? If you live your life continuously remembering the people that hurt you, you cannot heal. So please do yourself a favour, just live for yourself.

If that abusive person kept telling you to dress modest, stop hiding yourself. Dress however you want, if it’s revealing, it’s okay! If it’s modest good, that’s what you are comfortable in. If you are nervous to go to xyz place because it reminds you of them.. that’s fine, you go there now because that’s where you wanna go to, to make new memories. If not, just go wherever your heart desires.. or stay home. Living for you is not a sin, and it will never ever be selfish. Your life is yours, it belongs to you.

From now on, if you have the strength to, have yourself in mind when you do things. [It’s of course fine to be considerate and thoughtful of people, that’s not what I am talking about here.] Allow yourself to live.

♡ ⢷ five things that are cool about you

one - bad b energy mhm mhm 🙂‍↕️ there is a sort of air surrounding you that just screams ‘don’t mess with me’, which I think is soooo admirable. you are definitely not unfriendly at all of course, but it’s obvious that people shouldn’t make enemies with you. not because you are a bad person, but because of your sense of justice.

two - adults only message, sorry kiddos 🫡 this isn’t necessary a sexual thing, but I felt the need to put that addition.. like a gut feeling, ya know? I don’t want to be misunderstood 😤 anyway, your guides are saying that you have a really pretty tummy? like your tummy. your belly.. it’s pretty. I don’t know if you work out but it also doesn’t matter because I am seeing this for all sort of people.. those who work out, those who have a soft tummy, the chubbier ppl, the skinnier people.. men, women.. matter of fact if you happen to be pregnant rn you are extremeeeely beautiful! I think your guides wanted to help out with your body image issues is all <3 so cute, you really are pretty.

three - hair? something about your hair is so beautiful, it makes you look like an angel. very pure and loving as well. I am also seeing an encouragement to go ahead and change it if you wish to do so. you look pretty either way, with whatever hair colour!!! <3

four - you are so persistent!! you work so hard ??? like there is nothing that can bring your spirit down baby. unstoppable force kind of energy!! that is so cool, just make sure to watch out to not overwhelm yourself 🫶🏻

five - YOU LIKE TO GIVE ACTS OF SERVICE 🫵🏻 mhm you are the sort of person to peel fruits for your loved ones, put their phones on the charger, prepare their clothes and do these little things to make their life easier on harder days 🙂‍↕️ that’s so admirable, I look up to you in this case!

— ✮⋆˙ : teacher’s pet , my little pony , ‘a whole new world’ / ‘ can you feel the love tonight ‘ , ‘icey, wifey, haters wanna fight me. ‘ , lotto , number one , trampoline , today’s tickets (?)

my beautiful pile two, please stop looking down on yourself or heaven is gonna have a problem 🙂‍↕️ IT WILL BE MISSING AN ANGEL 🫵🏻 no but seriously, no kidding, I do think many of you here think that I am being fake nice to you in order to get people to interact more or read my pile and what not.. but I don’t care about how many people read my pile, I care about my messages being sincere from the heart and as accurate as possible. besides, I mean the things I said! don’t underestimate how forgiving my heart can be.. like I am fr a hater but I don’t hate you, so what does that tell you? 🧐 anyway, give yourself a rest beautiful, you have been enough harsh already. thank you for reading!

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✮ pile three : – book !

𐙚 : page of cups rev. , page of swords rev. , five of pentacles , knight of wands

bottom of the deck : nine of cups rev.

♡ ⢷ why I think your insecurities are beautiful

Hii my sweet, sweet pile three! Your energy is the most private, I thought I would let you know before you begin reading ᡣ𐭩

Out of all piles, yours is the one that had me stunned the most. Not because of any sort of bad reason, but this is such a sensitive and hard breaking topic my beautiful pile three..

Your insecurity is related to your dreams, worrying if you are enough. Enough young, enough talented, enough lucky…

It left me speechless because I can feel the pain in your heart, this can affect you on such a deep level. Most likely ever since your childhood. For some of you guys, you were made to work hard at something that you didn’t even care for, possibly still are, just to please your parents or other people around you.

It’s heavy, right? You are worried that if you actually go for something that you want you will worry the people around you.

I see your struggles, you don’t want to be selfish. Though, I don’t see that in your heart, rather I see something so beautiful. Love! Sounds cliché or whatever, but it’s still in your heart.

For the people around you and for the dream that you have for a long, long time. This is different for everyone, some of you dream of being a mom, some of you a ballerina, for most of you it’s related to music in one way or another.. I don’t think you are too old. At all. You never are.. only death can hold you back from achieving your dreams. Who knows, maybe not even he can.

For some of you, who are unable to live them out, this is a confirmation to reality shift / timeline jump.. That’s for only a very few people reading this though, most of you can and will achieve your dreams in this lifetime even if you give it your all.

I do not care if you are over 30, 40, 50 and so on.. I won’t promise that it will be fast, easy or that you will immediately get whatever you want; but the fire in your heart is burning with so much passion that it’s impossible to ignore.

The love that you have towards this ideal life of yours is so beautiful, I truly love it. Your eyes get so bright and full of life when you talk about the things you love and enjoy, yet you don’t even know it.

I would say it’s tragic, but that’s not true, because a sad ending doesn’t suit you. You are meant to be happy, and I hope that you will remember this.

♡ ⢷ what you can do to be more confident

Just do it. ✓

No, but for real, the cards here are incredibly supportive. So if you feel like you are ready for it and it’s the right call do what your heart calls you to do, that childhood dream of yours that you always dreamed of.

[Of course, I mean this as an encouragement for arts and such, not anything that can harm someone… let that be you or others.]

Do that art form, start to learn that subject, work towards that profession… who cares if people will like what you do or not? You do, you have passion and appreciation towards it in your heart. So the rest doesn’t matter, because you have this in your hands. Your destiny is under your control, whether you like that as a fact or not.. You are waaaay more powerful than what you think.

Your message is simple, so unfortunately I cannot write a lot here.. I think your guides are just intending this to be a wake up call, that you can always start anew. Your past is not you, neither is your present.. you can always change it. You don’t have to be stuck.

Just be you.

♡ ⢷ five things that are cool about you

one - you can get things done so easily.. muuuuch easier than other people, through sheer will and that’s all you need to get things done. it’s so admirable, tbh.

two - your art!! even if you aren’t into art or such stuff, it still has many many forms. you possibly like creating things, something that’s special to you. while it’s different for everyone in this pile, I think it’s so insanely cool you can just create something so perfect with so much attention to detail.

three - your posture! this is especially for people who are into dancing and actively practicing, I do think that you improve a lot day by day even if you don’t necessarily notice it. you could be perfecting the moves through hard work and be hella proud of it because you worked so hard. I am proud of you too!

four - your ability to just tune out, and be calm despite the hardships that you face. not a lot of people are able to stay still when they are hurting, or keep completely calm without losing themselves.. you are very mature and grounded. I adore this about you.

five - you have so much unconditional kindness it’s so remarkable and impactful. you probably don’t know this, but you are genuinely such a safe space for people.. your energy is so comforting.

— ✮⋆˙ : 50s diner , elvis & priscilla presley , pepper , paperbackpress , ‘one in a billion’ , sneezy from snow white, ballet shoes , paintings , true crime stories , jack the ripper , green apples , kiwi without it’s skin

my beautiful pile three.. I am so sorry that I couldn’t say more, your energy is a bit closed off and shy due to the things that you are going through and I didn’t wanna be forceful. though, I do hope that you can start healing soon and see the beauty in your passions… It’s important what your loved ones want, but you yourself should be a loved one as well. so don’t ignore your needs sweetheart 🫶🏻 thank you for reading!

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[batmanisagatewaydrug]

Hi sex witch! This is kinda a scary ask to send but you’ve always seemed kind to other people asking scary questions so I feel brave enough to ask. So I’m a person with what I would say a fairly healthy and positive attitude abt sex- big fan of jacking off when the mood strikes and I’ve had a few partners. However, something that is really upsetting and scary to me are sex dreams because a lot of times I have dreams abt having sex with ppl I shouldn’t be having sex with and DONT WANT to be having sex with- notably, my father and my brother. I have strange dreams normally- anxiety related usually- but I HATE waking up from these dreams, I feel so sick and ashamed. I’m not even generally attracted to men, and these dreams make me feel like I need to second guess my identity. Additionally, my father is dead so I wake up feeling like my brain has disrespected his memory.

I’m trying to get a therapist for other unrelated reasons but a) my insurance is terrible and I’m having trouble finding someone in network and b) I would be so scared to say these things to a therapist - what if I’m secretly much more mentally ill than I knew, what if they hospitalize me, what if they put me on a sex offender registry?

Beyond “go to therapy” is there any advice you can offer me? It’s really very distressing and I’m really sick of it.

hi anon,

let's take a BIG DEEP BREATH before we start, okay?

so, first and foremost let me just say this, because it's important: nobody is going to hospitalize you or put you on a registry for something happening in your dreams. your dreams are not necessarily a reflection of anything you want or would enjoy in real life; your dreams are a pile of goo your brain spits out while its sifting information around trying to make a bunch of pieces fit together. unfortunately, I worry that you amount of stress and anxiety you feel about these dreams may be keeping them so front and center in your mind that makes them keep coming up over and over when you're asleep, creating a vicious cycle.

listen, I can't tell you how to change or feel better about your dreams. but I can tell you that people having sexual dreams that are in no way indicative of their actual desires is INCREDIBLY COMMON. none of those people are a danger to themselves or anyone else because of something their subconscious does that's entirely beyond their control, and that includes you.

having said that, it's totally understandable that you find these dreams disturbing and upsetting. for the time being, while you're managing them on your own, try to get yourself to a calm place while you're getting ready for bed - whatever works for you, whether it's mindfulness, melatonin, exercise, tea, warm bath and candles, taking time away from your phone, etc - and preparing space to be gentle with yourself and get into a good headspace when you wake up by making an extra nice breakfast, taking a long shower, going for a long walk, or anything else that will help you get out of your head and take care of yourself in the aftermath of an upsetting dream.

and if you do manage to find a reliable therapist soon, which I hope you do, I would strongly encourage you to bring this up with them if the problem is still persisting by then. anything causing you anxiety and distress is something that is worth talking over with a therapist, especially since leaving one stress factor unaddressed can also hold you back from resolving others - it's hard to focus on anything when restful sleep is off the table. once you've established a good rapport with a therapist, some conversations around this could be super helpful for you.

wishing you the best with finding some peace of mind xoxo

[vanillafalvoredcoffee]

Can I please ask for some clothes head cannons for kianna

I like experimenting with different styles with her so I'd like to know your interpretation

♡Kianna Komori clothes Headcannons♡

She doesn't really care about how she looks until she got to elementary school

At that time, she started to notice how her sister Yui began to wear pinkish clothes and dresses to school so Kianna wanted to try doing that too!

When Kianna tries to find any pink clothes in her closet, she only find a few so she mostly borrowed the clothes from Yui

Kianna found out that pink actually looks good on her so she kept wearing Yui's clothes even when they don't have to go to school on that day

Since then, they often dress eachother up and sometimes switch clothes

One day, Her dad got a lot of money from his job and decided to brought both Kianna and Yui some expensive clothes...(how strange...he never does such nice things to them since they're born...I wonder why he did that)

Both Kianna and Yui were a bit surprised when he decided to do all of that for them but both of them were very grateful for the clothes he gave them anyway

The clothes he gave were all high quality and most importantly...both Kianna and Yui liked it because the clothes looks cute on them

(Unrelated but...)Yui likes to braid Kianna's hair and likes to put bows and ribbons on her hair

They kept wearing eachothers clothes until they're in middle school

Kianna found that kinda embarrassing so she stopped borrowing Yui's clothes for a while

Yui got a little worried because she hasn't been talking to her but she didn't confront Kianna about it

At that time Kianna began to focus on her studies more than her own sister because Seiji gotten a lot Lot stricter

They started to talk less and less to each other and they eventually stopped sharing clothes with eachother anymore

At that time Kianna started to hate her dad for over working both her and her sister and for not giving them any time for them to even interact with eachother

Luckily Middle school ended quite quickly and soon they were about to go to high school....something...happened

Kianna got a call from her dad that he'll be working over seas so he have to sent her and Yui to live somewhere else...didn't he know that they can live on their own now?

When both Kianna and Yui got to the place, Kianna thought it would be quite nice to live in such a big mansion...but Yui seems a little anxious about it though...

Kianna reassures her before going inside the mansion thinking that it would be fine....she couldn't have been more wrong

When Yui dies, Kianna blames it on herself and wishes she should've have died instead

She copes by wearing what reminded Kianna of her sister and sometimes she steals her sister's clothes if she had a hard day

(I accidentally described her whole time line again-)

[pumpkinsy0]

Can we get more hc's of curly helping pony with his seasonal depression? I love these two so much and your headcanons give me LIFE

WOOOOO HURT/COMFORT YEAAAAA RAHHHHHH

•ponys seasonal depression is like, whatever time was where his parents died, and i say that time and not where johnny and dally died bc generally speaking, ponys healing from their deaths, however id say when it comes to his parents deaths, he never rlly talks about it that much and kinda sweeps it under these other things???idk how to explain it

•BUT id say that pony never actually took the time to heal from his parents dying bc sm happened and at some point it kinda just hit him hard

NOW ONTO CURLY HELPING WOOO

•he did notice some differences in pony around the time but he thought that it would pass, and it did, but it always came back, he noticed that pattern

•as much as curly would love to go outside and fuck around to make pony happy, idk i think he’d respect that he just doesnt wanna go outside constantly, sometimes pony just wants to lay down and who is he to hate on that

•even when they go outside its nothing too crazy, its to just take a walk or sit in the porch or somethin, gotta get pony some air, cant stay in that stuffy room forever

•curly WILL be taking pony to visit his parents grave, its the least he can do for the grieving guy

•took pony to get some flowers and whatever else he wanted to get to decorate their grave, no jokes or nothin, he really didnt even know what to say to pony to cheer him up

•curly didnt go to the curtis parents’ funeral and therefore didnt rlly get to say his final words to em, so to like to imagine that to help pony in whatever way it does that he talks to em and get what he has to say out, maybe it was to encourage pony to do the same

•he brings pony lil gifts like a cool postcard he stole or a lil trinket

•he lets pony talk about the small things his parents used to do w him, he wasnt that close to them like darry and soda was, but he did have his moments

•ponys mom had a recipe book on top of the cupboard and curly would try to make some of the foods, key word try, he somehow burnt em a lil but its the thought that counts

•pony would mention to curly how he was kind of starting to forget small things about his parents, like how they laughed, how they smelled, that sorta thing, and so curly would VENTURE out to find small things that could remind pony about his parents

•he also got pony to draw his parents for the first time in a while, so he wouldnt forget more what they looked like and he can look back on it

•ALSO YES, he is making sure pony eats something, but its not rlly like a full dinner, maybe something like mac and cheese, something small and simple

UNRELATED, but hc that darrys room is actually just his parents room, darrys barely redecorated it himself bc hes actually so distraught over them still and that room is like a time capsule, thats kinda why nobody ever rlly goes into darrys room, especially pony, they dont wanna be reminded of who used to be there

[derekgoffard]

Colin's older sister is a very small part of his background, however Ive had some characterization down for a while now so I thought I'd make a little post about her 🤲.

Her name is Claire Midland! She has virtually no relationship with Colin and probably does not ever wish to see him again yayyay 👐. She also has those mother issues that make you a bit mean and desperate for comfort all the time but that's okay 👍.

Some extra trivia under the cut 🕊️

( THESE ARE ALL WRITTEN VERY MESSY + INCOHERENT. IM SORRY IF U ATCUALLY TRY READING THIS 😭😭😭😭😭 )

- she went into nursing because she wanted to give others the kind of care and attention she herself craved - however she eventually realized that was not at all the reality of nursing. She kind of hates her job 👹.

- her life revolves around this funny little cycle of her feeling this constant sense that she is unloved, which leads her to constantly be seeking comfort ( physical and emotional ). However she never feels comforted for long, hence the cycle continuessss la la la🤸.

- her favorite thing ever is being coddled, she's a hard worker but she wishes she wasn't.

- She loves flowersss, but she can never keep them alive. Despite this she continues to buy them, only to have them die in days. Her favorite flowers are sun flowers 😊.

- her necklace has her and her mother's birthstones ( emerald and topaz ).

- she's never held a steady relationship for over a year but she has alot of positive one night stands. Not necessarily sex either - usually she just wants to be cuddled and coddled over for a night, y'know how it is ☹️..... Let me tell you what tho her aftercare game is unbeatable LOLLLLLLLL.

- she was a very clingy and emotionally demanding child. ( example; Claire would absolutely NOT enter school without her mother, and so her mom had to sit next to her desk in school for most of her early education ). This was okay for a little while, but when Colin was born, their parents got a divorce, and their already mentally ill mother could not really cope with two children.

- Since Claire was the oldest ( still very very little, like 7 years old )- it fell on her to help her mother, while Colin would bounce between their father and mother. Claire has never had a relationship with Colin, but she secretly blames and resents him for their parents divorce, and their mothers declining mental health. While ofc Colin resents her for basically gatekeeping his own mom LOL.

- Her relationship with her mother is surface level and distant. No matter how hard she may want to- she just can't connect to her mother. Claire is too emotionally taxing and her mother is pretty much unwilling to deal with it at this point. Claire reminds her of the lowest times in her life, and she sees Claire's attachment to her as a failure in how she raised her. She thinks Claire needs to grow out of it by herself. I think her mother does feel guilty about how Claire's childhood turned out- and so she really does think trying to let Claire find her own way is what's best for her.

- oh and also Claire is pretty much the reason Colin received so little attention from her as a child LOL- she would get HIDEOUSLY jealous of baby Colin taking attention from her mother and throw really intense fits about it 👤 I'm thinking she even went as far as trying to hurt Colin in some way. Sorry Colin, no healthy relationship with mom for you. your sister is too emotionally demanding.

- I think she's doing okay now. She's a little unhinged but I'm thinking she has a steady job and nice girlfriend now. I kinda want her to be happy y'know. 🕊️

- unrelated but Claire has not seen Colin since they were young teenagers so she has no idea about his dyed hair or fashion sense. I don't think she'd be able to recognize him to be honest LOL.

[domesticated-whores]

[ minor spoilers for apology tour, lowkey badmouthing stolitz, ranting and rambling ]

It's hard out here for HB fans that aren't Stolitz shippers, ngl. I get that it was a Stolitz centered episode because that's where the story is right now, but could I please have the tiniest scrap of something unrelated thrown in? No?

Glad I got to see Verosika at least, my girl fr. Always happy to know more about her, even if it's literally always only in reference to her relationship with Blitzø. Like, massive side character so whatever. I want more of her preferably without direct reference to that, but I get it story-wise.

But I so do not like Stolitz personally, so kinda sucks that that's the main plot right now and also that they're absolutely going to work it out. Like, I don't utterly despise the ship so I do even enjoy bits of it as b-plot or background noise, but not as the focus of the episode.

I find the dynamic so boring. I don't really like the idea of it working out. I think "these two characters just do not naturally go together no matter how much they try and heal and work on it, and that's okay, because sometimes people (even people that are attracted to each other, even people that do love each other in some way!!) don't work out, and that's fine!!" is a lot more interesting (and meaningful to me, personally) than "true love and hard work overcome all traumas and differences and romance has to prevail in the end!!" and, while I respect people disagreeing with me, that's what Stolitz feels like a LOT of the time.

Like, Stolas needs friends fr. Friends that he makes FULLY outside of a transactional setting. He needs some kind of social circle, so I'm so hoping that he'll actually get that from Verosika's party. I hope that continues and he makes friends and date and shit and it isn't all thrown away as him going "well, I was upset so I was using these people as a distraction and as someone to listen, but I don't really care about any of them and will drop them the second things get better" because if any chance for him to make legitimate bonds with others is dropped as something that doesn't matter or something that he doesn't need after he's in a relationship I will fucking scream.

I could write an essay about how I feel about Stolitz as a whole, maybe I will later idk, because my feelings ARE very mixed. However, I don't think they should end up together. I think similar has been done a million times in media and (while I'm not coming for HB for realistic takes) it isn't realistic, the idealism and fantasy of the dynamic has been so overdone that it would be such a breath of fresh air if they didn't get together because at least that would be interesting and unexpected and probably the healthiest to pull off. And I know it isn't going to go in that direction, so I kind of hate to see it at all, ESPECIALLY as the ONLY thing being offered in an episode. Again, they work as b-plot and background noise, when you can just accept how iffy and annoying it is.

[confused-disaster32]

Okay so this is kinda mildly related to the post I made a while back about people making a crossover between diff Mike Faist characters but also slightly unrelated.

Anyways - here are some of my HCs that Art Donaldson can sing (Pls don't hate if you don't like/think it's OOC and stuff - this is pretty much completely self indulgent)

He's always been able to sing, and he actually really likes it

In terms of natural talent this is probably the thing that he's best at - like yeah he's good at tennis but he's always had to train super hard - when it comes to singing it's like how Patrick is just naturally great at tennis

He also happens to like musical theatre - when they're kids Patrick teases him for it and Art tries to say smth about how there are plenty of straight male theatre kids out there (Patrick always scoffs, but he lets it be)

When he's younger he even joins a choir and in school he checks out if they have a musical theatre club - when they do he joins

When he starts to get very into tennis he stops any extracurriculars that include singing, he's got to work extremely hard to be as good (or one day maybe even better) then Patrick

He still likes it he just doesn't have time, by the time they're in college it's something he really only occasionally does in the shower or if they're at karaoke or something (and occasionally just when he's really drunk)

Additionally with all the exercises and practice (and pining over one (both really - though he doesn't know it) of his friends) he doesn't really even have time to consume musical media like he used to

In fact the first time Tashi hears him sing it's cause he's drunk and he just happens to like the song on the radio

He doesn't sound as good as if he was sober but Tashi makes a little comment about him not sounding too bad later

When Tashi gets injured (and when they start dating) he pretty much stops all together - he has to work hard to be great, because he wants to be great (and because he wants Tashi to be proud of him, because he knows that she was the one who should've become a great tennis player and he figures maybe if he can be good enough for her she'll be able to live through him just a little bit and she'll stop looking so sad and maybe that little bit of hatred in her eyes will finally disappear)

When his daughter is born he doesn't stay home for long - no matter how much he wants to - but when he does he offers to sing her lullabies and sometimes Tashi will watch

In those moments their home feels genuinely filled with love and warmth

Then he goes back to tennis

When he gets injured he's at home for a while and he lets himself go back to some of the things he enjoyed

He watches movies with his daughter and catches up on musicals that he hadn't seen yet

More then once Tashi comes home and Art and their daughter (srry I don't actually know/remember her name) are both cuddled up together, maybe they're asleep, maybe they're awake but there's always the sound of a Disney movie playing softly in the background - like if they did fall asleep it midway through the movie

Art's not entirely sure when he started to want to retire but moments like that sure did help the decision

He stops singing again when he gets back on the court - he's lost his confidence from being away for so long and now he has to face Patrick - he feels kinda like shit

When he finally retires he finds a lot of time to do things whilst Patrick and Tashi are out of the house

He catches up on even more musicals and goes back to learning the songs that are his favourites

He dances around with his daughter and almost every time that Tashi and/or Patrick comes back late he's either on that couch by himself or with his daughter

When his daughter talks about wanting to sing he supports her fully and even teaches her how to not hurt her throat when she sings

He also offers to let her join a junior choir

He never quite pushes her - not like some parents push their children to become stars

He wants her to still be able to enjoy it as a past time - because sometimes making things into a challenge can suck the light and fun and happiness out of something (and boy does he know it)

For the first time in years (or maybe ever) the Donaldson (and Zweig because Patrick is pretty much always there) household is filled with music and singing and laughter

Tashi still gets to live with her life including tennis and Patrick gets a great coach and Art just gets to enjoy himself, spend time as a father and maybe get back into a hobby that he thought he's have to drop for a career

[anger-ey]

My Zuke autism progaganda

(this is my personal interpretation as someone who is autistic and has similar experiences to what he seems to have. I'm not trying to say this is fact or anything.) 

-Trouble with social queues

 In multiple situations, Zuke says things that are weird to point out in the moment, and takes figurative speech literally multiple times.

When a raging mama says she should teach him about music, he takes it literally and says that he has a masters in music, regardless of her trying to KILL HIM.

When Neon J was being emotional, Zuke interrupts him to ask May how he's even able to cough. (though this may have been done for comedic effect). 

He also completely misses DJSS' Pluto insult and tries to understand how being a dwarf planet could be a bad thing.

-Trouble with instructions

 After fighting DJSS, May tells Zuke to put his hand next to hers, to which he replies by grabbing her wrist (and not thinking of it as a weird response until May tells him that's not what she means). 

It takes him quite a while to understand what May wants him to do, she needs to be VERY specific.

-Special interests

 Zuke is VERY knowledgable about his interests, like the famed natura musicians, and having loved spy movies when he was in college to the point of learning morse code.

When he sees things related to classical music, he gets exited and is enthusiastic to explain background information. He tends to relate a lot of things to drums, too, even bringing them up in totally unrelated topics.

He also collects toilet seats, and I know it’s a reference to a dev’s friend, but cmon. Collecting weird shid. Autism 

-Empathy expression

 While Zuke does care for others, he seems to have some troubles with expressing it when theyre emotional. When May was sobbing at the end of the game, he had no idea what to do and only said her name (he even looks to Tatiana for help lmfao). The only exception is Eve, but this may have been due to Zuke knowing and being prepared for what she was upset about. 

There are also some moments where it’s hard to tell whether he is being rude on purpouse or without meaning to, due to his blunt speech and kinda monotone voice.

-Relationships

In the DK West fights, it's established that Zuke had trouble with making friends and depended on his brother's friend group. Many autistic people struggle to find friendships outside of their family.

-Unplanned things

He HATES gambling, and gets very upset at a gachapon machine because "when he goes to a drum store, he expects drumsticks"

- Emotional Regulation

He’s a very calm person and understands all sides well, but when his buttons are pushed, his anger escalates and he becomes irritable and impulsive, to the point of hurting others' feelings (i.e disowning West in an argument and obviously regretting it eventually)

-Boundary Issues

In his relationships, he always is the follower and often agrees to everything other people say, sometimes to his detriment. He’s obviously gotten better at setting boundaries now, but he was terrible at it with Eve, letting her bother him until it blew up in both their faces.

- Sensory Problems

A bit of a stretch, but he seems to have been overstimulated in the intro cutscene judging from his comment about the lights being too intense. He was obviously more nervous about being on camera but it can be both.

He has a specfic thing with cameras and being broadcast in general, as he has no issues performing on stage, but can barely get a word out when he's being recorded or talking on a radio show.

[disapoimeq]

HIIII JULIUS CESAR FROM CLONE HIGH!!! ( For me you are him, don't try to convince me otherwise ) /j /pos

Here are two questions to make you think ( I know, thinking sucks/hj ):

Can you list your most favorite/likeable Clone High ships? (if you can, from the most favorite to the least favorite)

Andddd!

You can list your most hated/hateable Clone High ships? (from most hated to least hated )

And if you could give a brief explanation or/and a rating from 1 to 10

Questions asked for...plot reasons/j

I hope I'm not bothering you!

Have a great week 😇

Hello!! THANK YOUU for asking! and yes, i am Julius Caesar (real) and I am thinking thinking so hard rn!!! This is pretty lengthy post!

I don't really have any ships I dislike, so

heres some ships I ranked from fav to least fav and how I personally prefer them!

(BTW! With platonic i mean like, friendly dynamic)

Julius + Jesús (romantic, platonic)

Vincent + Julius (romantic, platonic)

Jesús + Vincent (romantic, platonic)

Frida + Cleo (romantic)

Joan + Harriet (romantic)

Joan + Abe (romantic, platonic)

Joan + Confucius (platonic)

Abe + JFK (platonic)

Frida + Harriet (platonic)

Confucius + Harriet (romantic, platonic)

Abe + Frida (PLATONIC!!)

Jackée + Lizzie (romantic)

Carver + Sacagawea (romantic)

Catherine + Julius (platonic)

Ivan + Catherine (romantic)

Joan + JFK (platonic)

Marie Antoinette + Vlad (romantic, platonic)

Joan + Cleo (platonic)

Abe + Gandhi (platonic)

Topher + Ivan (platonic)

Topher + Vincent (platonic)

Confucius + JFK (platonic)

JFK + Ponce (platonic)

Additionally, and unrelated to my ranking, heres some ratings and reviews haha

Julius + Jesús 9/10

I LOVE THESE TWO like they make me laugh sm I like to think they're childhood bestfriends, and y'know. Sometimes you just gotta kiss the homies 😎

Julius + Vincent 8/10

These two are nice too, it's mainly a comfort ship cause of me self projecting lol 😭

Jesús + Vincent 8/10

Almost the same exact opinion I have with the last one!

Frida + Cleo 9/10

OH MY GOD THAT ONE S3 EP LEFT ME HEART BROKEN, but! I am very very much glad they're on atleast good terms

Joan + Harriet 8/10

They're cute honestly, I liked the cheerleading episode a lot. and despite conflicts they have they seem to find a way to relate to eachother

Joan + Abe 8/10

OKAYY OKAY I KNOWW... this ship gets a lot of hate, and for an understandable reason , honestly. I don't blame anyone for not liking it but I personally don't mind it that much, they have their cute moments over all I do agree the writing could be better

Joan + Confucius 7/10

I was honestly hesitant with them at first when I saw the s3 trailer, but they grew on me!! They were cute. I personally think the dynamic worked pretty well too

Abe + JFK 7/10

They're alright, scenes with them are funny and I love that they ended up as buddies

Confucius + Harriet 6/10

Though there are some issues with their relationship, I found them pretty cute in s2 but I lost interest quick

Abe + Frida 10/10

CUTEST!! THEY'RE LIKE SIBLINGS TO ME!!!

Joan + JFK 6/10

I get how people can say there's not really much chemisty with them, they can be cute but I feel like I like them better off as pals now after what happened in s2

Catherine + Julius 7/10

They're like more seen together in s1?? Regardless if they were ever a couple or not, I like to think they separated on good terms/are friends!

Joan + Cleo 6/10

They're alright, I like the ship art, and I liked them getting along from time to time

Confucius + JFK 7/10

I'm kinda sad they didn't get much screentime together in s3 unlike in s2, but they're nice they were funny

anyways this all doesn't matter, the best clone high ship has been and will always be julius x a new haircut/j

for other ships, that I didn't explain or mention, they're also cool as long as its not weird LMFAO ship whoever you want and ty again!! 😁👍

[kaijuree]

Alrighty y'know what time it is heheh

TRR [Team Rainbow Rocket] Headcanons!!

[keep in mind this is just my AU you can have your own, this is just how I see these idiots]

[Also- yes I ship Lysandre & Cyrus, because I have my AU & my opinions, so don't like demonetize me saying some other ship is better stfu-]

-Giovanni-

Pansexual. Always been a little fruity, especially since he was a teen, & kinda crushes on Nanu- that's unrelated tho <3

Short as fuck. Like I mean this dude is 5 foot tall, whenever you see like photos of him with the rest of Team Rocket, he's usually standing on a fucking step-stool

Has rlly bad anxiety & shit like that, also takes antidepressants & medication because his mental health used to be rlly rlly bad [because of Ariana & just stressing out about managing Team Rocket] & he'll get like that bad if he goes long enough without them

Actually a decent father unlike his canon counterparts. Took care of Silver instead of putting him up for adoption after Ariana left, basically had to juggle trying not to be a deadbeat dad & managing a big mafia lmao. Silver turned out decent- he doesn't hate Giovanni so yippee!! [they actually get along whoa]

Absolutely fucking hates Professor Oak, due to some *personal* issues in the past.

Can cook rlly good. He actually wanted to get into culinary classes & shit but he got expelled out of highschool & then disowned so that was crushed along with his will to live

-Maxie-

Trans [FTM] Archie is rlly the only one who knows, because he's a nosy fucker lmao. Still has rlly bad body dysphoria- explaining all the layers & oversized jacket [didn't get top surgery because he's a chicken shit so he just wears a binder 24/7]

Not actually from Hoenn [surprise surprise!!]- originally from Orre but moved to Hoenn because it was transphobic as fuck & it genuinely just sucked lolz

One of the only sane ones in TRR, also actually smart [like he didn't wanna like dry up all the water he just wanted to make more islands in Hoenn- still a dangerous method haha]

Salty as fuck. Will find something annoying or unlikable about you, he doesn't care who the hell you are he will do it. Also, he fucking hates Archie- probably cuz he screws up his damn research & drags him along lmao

Overworks himself all the damn time, & has a bad habit of putting himself in uncomfortable situations- such as choosing his admins. Maybe he should've gotten to know Courtney & Tabitha more before making them the Team Magma admins [oki oki but Tabitha gives off the vibes that he streams League of Legends in a damn maid outfit every night. Also I don't like Courtney because she just gives off those creep vibes eugh]

-Archie-

Gay & polyamorous. All the surfer guys in Alola are NOT fucking safe because he's there lmao. Also him & Matt are exes, but since no hard feelings they're still friends

Aggressive wholesomeness 24/7- also THE ultimate extrovert who tries to be on good terms with everyone except if you're Ghetsis because if you're Ghetsis fuck you [he's an absolute sweetheart but also a dumbass]

Dumb as fuck. Half the shit he pulls he just did because he felt like it or he was bored- he doesn't have a goddamn reason he just fucking did it

His Sharpedo's name is Grace. This is very important because Grace is love Grace is life

Gives everyone stupid nicknames & makes horrible jokes & puns. Sometimes it's fucking unbearable because they're so damn cheesy & Maxie is yelling from across the room telling him to shut the fuck up but he thinks he's goddamn hilarious

-Cyrus-

Greysexual. Attracted to his opposite [sweet cute guys aka Lysandre]

He's emo guys!!! Omg real!!! If he's not wearing his Galactic uniform he's wearing oversized grunge style clothing- you will never see him wearing anything with colour. Also yes he wears eyeliner & people assume he wears eyeshadow but nah that's just his dark ass eyebags

He's a fucking empath & it's hilarious. He hates it because he tries so damn hard to ignore his emotions which only makes his already rapidly declining mental health worse

Horrible sleep schedule & just terrible at taking care of himself in general. He's running off of goddamn energy drinks & coffee- he won't sleep unless he passes out from exhaustion lmao. Also he only rlly eats like popcorn [which is usually like he's up at 2 in the morning watching a space documentary & he just binge eats it because he hasn't eaten in two weeks or something]

THE ultimate space nerd. If you even mention something space related he will give you a detailed explanation or description about said space thing- also he's got Team Galactic's base is all space themed & they have millions of dollars worth of stolen space tech lmao [autism moment yes Cyrus is autistic]

Has an engineering degree, also graduated highschool when he was 16 & got into college early. Moved out of his parents' house the second he had enough money

-Ghetsis-

Aroace. The most hardcore aroace guy out there. He has trouble with love & shit due to trauma, which also kinda makes it hard for him to admit that he does fucking care about N [he doesn't deserve N]

Do I really have to explain that this guy is fucking insane? Do I? [He's got actual BPD & he's narcissistic as hell but he's just gotten worse. Also autistic but that's not rlly- bad]

He looks like he'd be homophobic- but he's not. He just hates everyone. Also he's not like sexist or anything like that too

The most stylish & extra person you'll meet. He has a giant wardrobe & has all his clothes custom tailored- he has outfits for certain occasions & times, & he absolutely HAS to have the finest of jewelry & has to get himself all dolled up too. Bro is also feminine as hell sometimes. He knows he's fucking pretty

Has the most random talents & hobbies. I mean, he can swordfight- & also knows gardening?? Wha??? Also very musically talented- he plays 'elegant' instruments like the piano & harp

A goddamn drama queen. If his temper wasn't bad enough don't even get started on how damn overdramatic this asshole is. I swear Colress is so done with his shit

-Lysandre-

Asexual/Demiromantic. Attracted to everyone but preferably men, also will only be attracted to someone if he feels like he has an emotional bond with someone lol

Kinda on the dumber side. Also slow on things, like figuring out what he's actually doing. Genuinely a very sweet & kind person, also a bit of a crybaby but that's unimportant [undiagnosed ADHD]

He's a goddamn baker. He has a degree in business & finances or something- only because his parents made him. He's just an idiot lion baker man. That's also the only reason he took over Team Flare, the old leader kinda just appeared in an alley & told him he could have a bakery if he took up the offer lmaoo

Actually from another universe where he got shot by the Ultimate Weapon, but got swip swapped by Colress because why not!! Because it was a blast full of Xerneas's power [the whimsical deer fairy Pokemon of fucking life] he's immortal. He also can't get like injured- he'll just regenerate

He looks so goddamn intimidating- & he's oblivious to it. Half the time it's because he partially has a resting bitch face or he's squinting because he's kinda far-sighted. Whenever someone says something about it he just gets so fucking confused lmaoo

Thats all for now! I'll do a part 2 & maybe some extras for other characters like Colress- but yeah this is all for now lolzies

[raspberry-gloaming]

Looms!

Looms - love 'em, hate 'em, neutral on the subject, everyone seems to have an opinion on looms. So I thought I'd write down my own thoughts and headcanons on the subject:

For me, looms are totally a thing - I find it makes Time Lord society more interesting and more alien, more removed from humans. I also think if those very conservative gasp how scandalous they showed a kneecap guys could, they would totally eliminate the requirement for physical reproduction. I don't think they have lost the ability to reproduce, just that its seen as very strange, and odd, and lesser. Why would you do that? Also could lead to more looking down on species that do reproduce without technology as lesser, which is very on brand for those guys. It would also cause a stronger divide between the elite Time Lords and the higher class and the lower classes on Gallifrey, who don't have access to such tech. Hence, time lords tooting their own horn about yet another thing.I feel that it really works with some plot points.

For example, with Pandora, I think it really works with her genetically manipulating Romana's bloodline. Especially if you see looming as something that includes genetic modification, or a process linked to the matrix, which of course with her and her access... Also with the idea of the Timeless Child, I think that looming would really work as a way to avoid having to explain where this new child has come from. If natural reproduction with birth was a thing, having to explain the existence of a new child after no pregnancy or whatever could be a bit complicated. Not great for such a secretive secret. But with looms - all neat and tidy, no explanation to why you've shown up to the house one day with a new kid. Depending on whether you believe the Doctor's parents knew about this, they might not even have to know. Put in your loom application, put in the DNA and genetic modifications necessary, come back to pick up your new kid! With an organisation with as much influence and control as Division, would it be so hard to pretend this baby is the parents' new loomling?

Additionally, if reproduction like humans was the case - how would regeneration and pregnancy work? If the carrier, the biological mother regenerated, would the baby die? Survive? Or would they regenerate too, if you're someone that believes Time Lords are born able to regenerate, and don't gain it at a later date, such as at the Schism or graduation. And what if the parent changed to male?

And now on to my headcanons:

Children on Gallifrey come out as babies, I'm not a fan of the arrive as adults thing personally

A child can have the genetic input of more than two individuals, but two core individuals would commonly act as the main base. Those two would be treated as the "parents" and other, possibly unrelated individuals would be seen kinda like aunts and uncles? to the child. but its hard to equate stuff to human familial relationships

All of these individuals, however, would be seen as grandparents (again, just a human-relative term that doesn't fully equate) to any (of course, loomed) children of the child. This means that the Doctor may have been seen as a parent, or primary caretaker for Susan's parent, but may not have done. This also is why the Thirteenth Doctor has I think she mentioned having seven grandmothers? In It Takes You Away.

[fleur-de-violette]

20 questions for fic wtiters

Thank you @crows-murder for the tag !

1. how many works do you have on AO3?

87! But a fair share of them are fairly short stories.  

2. what's your total AO3 word count?

244 349! Almost at a quarter of million!

3. what fandoms do you write for?

Currently mostly DC/Batfam but I might come back to One Piece soon. And I wrote a lot for Supernatural, Reborn and Bleach

4. what are your top 5 fics by kudos?

To the ones who are alive, and the ones who are there – Angsty fic about Dick and Jason, I’m kinda proud this one is my top fic because I put some guts into it.

Gorgon’s eyes – Dick comes back from spyral and his family doesn’t reacts well but he’s poisoned and immobilized and has to rely on them. I wanted this one to be a bit of a case fic on top of the drama and I’m not sure how much I succeeded?

To fight against time and win – This one was written just after the first one so again, with guts. It’s softer, though, it’s about Dick almost dying and his family taking care of him.

Vacation week – This one is about… Dick almost dying and the family taking care of him (I have a theme). It was one of the first fic I wrote for this fandom and I’m so happy it got so much love !

Painful protection – I swear the 6th one isn’t about Dick but yeah. This one is. It’s about Bruce trying to protect Dick by saying they’re unrelated and hurting him more in the process featuring good bro Jason. This one was in my mind even since before I started writing so while I’m not 100% happy how it turned out I’m happy people like it!

5. do you respond to comments?

Yes! I try to even if I find it hard sometimes to figure out what to say.

6. what is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Hard to say. I would say among the three MCD fic I’ve written it’s probably At the end of the universe (We were supposed to be okay). Otherwise the new one How to tape a card castle could be fairly angsty if you go without the 3rd chapter but what can I say I’m a sap and I added it.

7. what's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Again, hard to say. I’m a fan of bittersweet endings or hopeful endings. Maybe Fire keeper because it objectively end a lot better than it started

8. do you get hate on fics?

No! I got one rude comment but I’m still not sure it wasn’t a bot so I would say overall I’m lucky in that regard.  

9. do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I’m not a huge smut writer but I did try with my Smutty, shippy short stories. So far it has two fics one fairly cute and the other a dead dove which pretty much summons my range. There are 4 more fics for that series that are written and just wait to be edited and posted.

10. do you write crossovers?

No, but I’m not closed to the idea.

11. have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know, luckily.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Probably! Someone asked for my permission to translate To fight against time and win and repost in with permission. I gave it but I have no more news since.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No, but I did brainstorms ideas that later became fics

14. What's your all-time favorite ship?

I’m not really a shipper and when I am I’m a multishipper so not really a question for me

15. What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you will?

I have a multichapter WIP about dimension traveling. I love the idea but not what I did with it and I don’t really know how to fix it for now so it’s on pause for now and hopefully not forever.

16. What are your writing strengths?

I think I do well it long spiraling of emotions and abstract things when I manage it.  

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I probably wouldn’t do it unless it’s a language I speak confidently enough. Otherwise if my narrator doesn’t know the language I say they said something in this language and if they do I “translate” it.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Yuyu Hakusho in 2007. And then posted for Bleach on ffnet one year later.  

20. Favourite fic you've written?

Not a definitive favorite but I would say The price of loyalty. Maybe it’s a weird thing to say about something I’ve written but it’s such a comfort fic and I re-read it often.

I tag @elegitre @babblingbookends and whoever wants to !

[thewanderingace]

I have finally watched The Flux!!

God it took me ages to get through Thirteen's episodes. Some were good but overall I was bored a lot so it took me ages to get through season 11 and 12. But I just watched the last episode of the Flux tonight and now I'm going to randomly share my disconnected thoughts about it on this post.

Okay so overall I think I enjoyed this season! Which surprised me. I was so prepared to hate it after all the hate for the Flux I've seen on Tumblr or be super bored like I am with a lot of Chibnall's episodes but while it isn't my favorite thing I do think it was 13's best season. I didn't think I'd enjoy the Flux if I'm honest. Everything I read about it sounded dumb or confusing and yeah I'm still a bit confused by some stuff that was just not addressed but this isn't the first time the whole universe (or massive parts of it) have been wiped out so it's not exactly a new concept for the Doctor. But the connection with her and her past is new and I'm intrigued by it if I'm honest. And it gave Jodie some great stuff to work with. She was so good in this season. Way better than the previous two seasons just because she had a lot more to work with writing wise.

The individual plots for each episode are really good and kept my attention. I've loved the plot of the Sontarans waging war through time, the Lupari and their species bond with humanity, the whole thing with the Mouri, Swarm and Azure were cool villains, the star crossed lovers Vinder and Bel trying to find each other, the Weeping Angels taking a whole village, Dan and Yaz living 3 years in the early 1900s and doing Indiana Jones type of stuff. I even enjoyed the Division and the Flux plot.

Now while I overall liked all that, I still feel unsatisfied because there were a lot of potentially great stories but they were all crammed together into 6 episodes and none of them had time to be fleshed out properly and some of them didn't connect well and trying to follow it all was SO HARD. There's so much going on and so many seemingly unrelated plots happening all at once that it's so hard to keep track of. And I'm watching all these episodes back to back immediately after one another. I can't even imagine trying to keep up when this aired one a week. I'd be lost. I think this would have been amazing if they had gotten a full season and didn't have to cram it all into just 6 episodes. (this is why I'm worried about the new season coming which is only gonna have 8 episodes. DW needs more than 8 episodes)

I adore Dan by the way. I loved him from his first scene and every second after has just been lovely. He's super sweet and I love his accent and that he's apparently so selfless that he'd rather give all his food to others than have any for himself. He's taking all this alien stuff so well too. He just got kidnapped by a giant dog and hasn't had a moments break since but he's cool. I like him best out of all of 13's companions so far. Too bad he barely had any episodes. That's a shame. Looking forward to watching these last 3 episodes with him though.

Vinder and Bel? I LOVE THEM BOTH!!!!! Talk about star crossed lovers! I'd watch a whole show just about those two.

Dan and Yaz living for three years in the early 1900s?? I WANT TO LEARN MORE!!!! How did they get out of the village that was surrounded by space? Why was it surrounded by space? Dan as the stowaway is hilarious and has to sleep under the bed in the ship XD.

Chibnall throwing every recurring species he can think of was nuts but in a fun way. Daleks, Sontarans, Cybermen, Ood, Weeping Angels, etc.

Kinda lame that Tecteun was just taken out so easily. I wanted the Doctor to do it in a very Doctor way. Like what 10 did to the Family of Blood ya know?

And that's all I got for now. 3 more episodes to go for 13's run!

[leminhthinking]

"add something, if youd like" ok, here is something i used a throwaway account to comment on the Double MV. i didnt reread so i didnt remember anything about it sorry but there probably is mention about internalized ableism. also personal experience. its kinda shaped like a rant

posting it here now that i came out about being plural here. yeah.

tldr (theres another tldr at the end of it but it was from the time i commented and i want to add something else here) i love representations

I keep finding myself wanting to comment something under this video, but I know I'll say stuffs about myself that I feel would be unsafe to share using my main so I'm using this throwaway account to do it instead 😔

I just want to say that I'm so grateful that Mikoto and John (and maybe other alters in their system too? saying this just in case) were ever written. Being a system who had just discovered that only over a year ago, I can almost see myself, no, I can almost see *us* in every part of their story up until now. And in a way, I feel like I've also... grown with them? If that makes sense?

I have been following MILGRAM for quite a while, enough to be there when MeMe was just released. Back then, I still thought that I was certainly a singlet (didn't have DID), despite how one of my alters - I will refer to her as my sister from now - showed up pretty regularly at the time. That's why when I watched MeMe, I remember thinking to myself, "oh shit, this guy's just like me, and because [insert internalized ableism here] I'm saying he guilty then." But then we all know what's got confirmed 😂 Funniest thing is, a short while before that, I also came to term about being a system. Dammit, to think about it, it felt like a second confirmation 😭😭😭😭

Now that I have accepted who we really are, the release of Double and their second voice drama feels exceptionally special to me, as the host of our system. John and Mikoto's situation right now really reminds me of us last year. My sister and I specifically, respectively. At that time, I tried hard to deny the fact that I am not alone in my head, and that we are entirely separate people. It took me a while (with a few tarot spreads. fuck. I'm a Mikoto kinnie now) to know that we actually are... and some actual, honest conversations to know that she actually loved me, rather than wanting to harm me... Yeah. Yeah. You see what I'm talking about? That's why I'm really rooting for Mikoto and John to have better communication... Ah, maybe if Mikoto watched "his" own second trial MV, he would understand...

That being said, I'm still not sure on what to vote... When I first watched Double and listened to the second voice drama, I thought to myself, ouch, ok, guilty because John clearly seems to be the alter who knows more right now and that would keep him fronting more to interrogate. But after a while, my opinion... changed? I don't want Mikoto to be affected too much from the verdict and maybe going dormant because of that. John maybe still there for the interrogation but fuck, I don't think he's ever been without Mikoto for a long time and I'd hate to see his heart breaks. Maybe innocent is the better solution after all for the whole system, as it might soothe Mikoto's mood and his mindset. I also trust that MILGRAM's writer team know what they are doing and therefore would not "kill off" John. Maybe they will just let him be inactive for a while if they are voted innocent, given that he's finally satisfied with our decision...

(Yes, I do know innocent = forgiven and guilty = not forgiven and I'm deciding while knowing that. I'm just calling them innocent and guilty because I'm more used to it while speaking in English.)

Hmm, that was a longer rant than I expected. I don't know how to conclude really, so I'll say something that would sound entirely unrelated 😔 If I remember correctly, prisoners can hear us audiences right? If that's really true, I just want to scream to Mikoto and John that it's 100% ok to be a system! To not be alone inside your mind! To exist alongside another person in your system and love them! It's ok to just be yourselves! And please please please fucking find a way to communicate with each other!!!

Once again, thank you MILGRAM for letting them exist... I really hold them so dearly in our heart...

TL;DR: local system getting emotional over Mikoto and John, rooting for them to have better communication.

[woniverse-writes]

Some of my pet peeves in fanfiction (sharing this because I can and I’m bored)

these are just my opinions. If you disagree, frankly I don’t care but these are things that annoy me. I’ve read a lot of fanfiction in the last few years, so this is just what my taste has developed into. Everyone is entitled to their own opinions though, so these are just things that I PERSONALLY don’t like when reading fics.

(This is kinda long. sorry lol)

Tagging unrelated subjects

If I search something for Bada Lee, I don’t wanna see something about Jam Republic

Unless both of them are in the post, then duh

I don’t care if I like both of them, I’m searching for a specific thing so why would I want to find something else

And I mean specifically if I look up one person, and I’m met with a post for someone else, but the person I’m searching for is still tagged for no reason

I don’t care if you’re trying to get reach, I think it’s annoying

ESPECIALLY if you’re tagging someone or something that’s completely unrelated

I’ve literally blocked people for saying they do it for reach- sorry but you’re really fucking annoying

Poorly written conflict

Fight scenes coming out of nowhere especially physical fights

I just read a fic where the reader slapped the person for no reason, like- girl wtf

And another one where the person it was about showed up out of nowhere and punched this person and knocked them out because they were jealous

Like- I get it, it’s all fake, but can we be a little realistic please 😭

This one feels a little mean, but poor grammar

If it’s once every now and then it doesn’t bother me, cuz even native speakers mess up their own language

But constantly using the wrong tense or spelling of a word really makes it hard for me to immerse myself

But again that’s just me personally

Misspelling and idols name

Girl I’m sorry but how are you gonna write about someone and not know how to spell their name correctly🧍‍♀️

Google is free babe

Changing the POV every other sentence

It throws me off so bad when I’m reading and the reader is referred to as “she/he/they” and then it suddenly switches up to “you” like- just pick one and stick with it plz

And don’t even get me started me started with first person povs- I will simply not read it, I’m sorry

Rushed relationships

Especially when it comes to enemies to lovers

I hate, hate, HATE when the pairing will meet each other and then be romantically involved like a week later

Or specifically in enemies to lovers, they hate each other for three years, and then the second they show one tiny ounce of anything other than hatred, the reader has forgotten everything

Again it’s just not realistic to me and it makes it hard for me to enjoy

Fluffy language

Like- over describing things and making it try to seem so much more descriptive

Or when coming up with nicknames

Unless it’s written satirically and meant to be cringy and weird on purpose, I can’t stand it

It just makes me cringe and I literally will not finish reading

Smut written but people that have no idea what they’re talking about

If you’ve never read smut, you probably shouldn’t write smut

Unless you’ve like- had sexual experiences

I’m just really picky with smut specifically

I’ve just read (and not finished reading) so many fics written by people that are either clearly underage and trying to sound like they’re adults, or from people that sound like they’re trying too hard

I promise you- we don’t need the 12 different descriptors of how the pussy feels in one sentence

Not understanding the person/character you’re writing about

I get this more if you’re doing a request for someone and you maybe don’t know them as much

But if you’re a fan of a group or show, how are you not gonna know the person you’re writing about…

Like just missing key factors in their personality

OR

zeroing in on ONLY certain factors of their personality and throwing away the rest of it

Some big ones I notice are people not knowing how to write for Ni-ki from enhypen and Hao from zerobaseone

[ballplayersxo]

https://www.tumblr.com/ballplayersxo/732566555741831168/anybody-got-tea-on-the-current-spurs-they-used-to?source=share

i came across this ask which ill give my first shot at answering in my own way cause im a spurs fan! and girl all i can say is i wish there was more tea to report on 😭😭 not to say that theres zero drama going down in san antonio.. ive always asked myself: theres so much nba tea floating around but so little on my guys?? but now i understand that drama doesnt happen as regularly bc gregg popovich has more control over these niggas off the court than you would expect. in other teams its not really a common thing for coaches to hold players accountable for non basketball related things but id compare pop/the organization to a teacher/school because in a way they operate as figures of authority (similar to college-style basketball). its tougher to find spurs drama since he keeps the younger guys on a tighter leash after learning the hard way from tim duncans messy ass divorce/tony parkers cheating scandal but i assure you tea is there even tho its harder to find. i do agree with anon that sochan and vassell look like hoes but idk if we'll ever get to know that (unproven rn) side of them aside from speculation by who they follow on insta. including jeremy whos the most active on socials, all of them trained to move in silence + being a small market + tight pr means less reports but yes there is some tea and hottakes id like to spill although its not much

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https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/418962509115162624/1160664218702454914/IMG_3983.png?ex=6547f0c9&is=65357bc9&hm=cbc6e61c04ea464c85ab01827c17443f5d57ad2343fdbd96a76846644bb85168&

speaking of primo hes an ex spur but josh primo signed a new contract after joining the clippers and proposed to his (white) gf (story in attachment above). congrats her ig he has the face of a child whos balls havent dropped yet AND is a sex offender 🤷🏾‍♀️

context for everyone who doesnt know: primo was waived (even after he signed a contract extension apparently) because he flashed his ugly d*ck to a team staff member and then claimed he did it bc he had mental health issues. after primos babyface was sued by his psychologist (the woman he flashed) he was waived without so goodbye to his creepy ass. (on a personal note i really hate how "mental health" is used as some excuse for these sorts of things. like this nigga seriously thinks theres any valid excuse for flashing his tiny pp at women?? especially the woman whos job was helping out his "mental health" shit in the first place?? foh). it had way less info than an event like the kpj case but i think the lack of it is a testament to the spurs pr so there could be other stuff in the bg we as the public simply dont know abt

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on a more positive note ik julian champangie has a gf. shes makes frequent cameos on his insta and vice versa and have been together since high school. also i dont have the link but i clearly remember another anon in an old post here claimed that sochan is bi and follows trans women but ill put that to sleep since its false. being bi isnt 100% out of the question obviously (literally anybody can be bi without us knowing. looking at you dwight.) but theres no real evidence besides: omg look he dyes his hair and has an aesthetic he must be bi!!! i think people see a nigga who has an eccentric sense of style and instantly wanna jump to label him but nawww ive seen his following on insta 😂😂 anon was confusing "trans women" for TONS of polish/british/american (all white) insta thots. hes a cutie but it wouldnt be farfetched to assume hes not into black women. yall he aint bisexual hes biracial 😂😂

https://x.com/RTNBA/status/1691153501299134464?s=20

unrelated: sochan rookie hazing wembanyama during the offseason was kinda funny tho

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https://youtu.be/1VZykbSv7nk?feature=shared

dejounte and jaina are always on and off afaik lmfao girl secured some big bags. anyways dj talking about his experience with the spurs was insightful for me. i wasnt aware before there was alot of clash between ghetto behavior and how the organization wanted him to behave but frankly im not surprised by it

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not really gossip related but stories of irl players ive encountered:

(retired spur) i met david robinson at church when i was really young. i remember being scared of him at first cause he was so tall lol but i remember him sitting down to shake my hand and my parents taking a picture of us. its kinda embarrassing since it has the vibes of a baby crying on santas lap but funny nonetheless 😂😂

got an autograph from demar a few years back. it was quick and we didnt talk much since he had to leave after but he was cool when i asked

the only current spur ive met is devin vassell in a random encounter at the gas station (this was last yr). i recognized him but wasnt sure how he was gonna react to being approached for an autograph/photo but he was really sweet w it. i asked him where he was headed to & he said the gym but joked after that, a nap at home with his dogs lol. the names of his two dogs, iirc he told me: donovan and ace. very warm, he has a pleasant voice and smile too, if hes a longtime spur he should join our broadcast team once he retires lmao

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thank you for coming to my sas analysis despite my team lowkey tanking right now. have a great day owner, ill go back to lurking now, god bless you.

lmao anon thank you for this, i appreciate when you guys send long asks about things you care about!! but the josh primo case was definitely something that never made much sense to me. like why would he do that? i just can’t comprehend the thought process. it was a thing here in canada and a bunch of people were talking about it cause i know people who used to play with him. it’s getting weird. idk where to start with dejounte and jania but they’re both very annoying and belong with each other tbh. & gay/bi allegations are everywhere it’s crazy. lmao this was interesting overall though