been gone for a while, outside of absent scrolling but
!!NEW SHOW RECOMMENDATION!!
if any of yall are interested in thriller/psychological horror/horror/drama show, i highly recommend a show called From it is absolutely amazing. the premise is interesting (kind of like The Society but more rich and horror-y).
the plots are well done, the characters are multi dimensional and definitely where you love/hate them all, its dynamic and balances horror with found family and drama AND theres diversity!
ive included a few pictures from the show so you can get the ~vibe~
it can be found on mgm (and others places like sflix that i know absolutely nothing about)
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I'm holding out hope that one day a group of weirdos will fly into my apartment while I'm in my robe about to go to bed and one of them will say, "Finally! We've been looking for you everywhere! Listen, we've gotta get you outta here. This place is...so wrong."
And I'll reply, "WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU!?? IS THAT A ROBOT?! ARE YOU AN ALIEN!? HOW ARE YOU FLYING!? OMG MY WINDOW!! OMG MY WALL!!"
And they'll be like, "Stop messing around! We gotta go! Big things out there that only you can do! What are those, cats?! Are those the ELDERS!? Why are they CATS?!"
Looking at my small but portly tabbies, "Penelope and Sullivan? They're my babies! My beautiful boy! My beautiful girl! I'm having a breakdown, aren't I?"
"You...really don't know who we are, do you?"
I'll say, "No, but when I wake up from this delusional state I am gonna make so much money writing this story!!"
The robot will say, emotionally, "We're so fucking screwed! They don't remember anything about who they were!!!"
The alien will say, unemotionally, "Yeah, no, we're fucked."
I'll say, in as state of amused shock devolving into mania, "Okay, I gotta know cause my story is gonna need some exposition, who do you fuckers think I am?"
"The Keeper of Knowledge," the one that is neither a robot nor an alien will say. (Though they're not quite human, either.) "Someone who can access the Knowledge of the elder souls who are usually in stylish if not slightly cumbersome amulets that are apparently cats right now. Which, honestly, fits their vibes. ANYWAY! You are also a highly skilled FIGHTER which is what we NEED right now! So fix your brain and let's go! Away. From this weird world."
Here I will uncontrollably laugh, narrowly avoiding the shards of broken window glass with my bare feet as I pace in front of the hovering trio.
"I," I will scream as the group is taken aback, "am I 40-something, 5 foot tall, nonbinary RETAIL WORKER who writes FANFICTION to satiate the creative desires I have been too unmotivated to fulfill to make a living at. I have a squishy belly and Rheumatoid Arthritis and have lived in City, State for my ENTIRE LIFE! I take Medication for ADHD, RA, and depression in addition to, Allegra, Flonase, and Vitamin D so I can function at a BASE LEVEL. Not thriving, but just above miserable. There is no-hooo way I am that stuff you said. I can't even get Sullivan to stop licking his hot spots and scratching the floor let alone reveal to me any weird elder ~KNOWLEDGE~! You folks have the wrong queer with 2 cats!"
"Listen," the spokesperson will say, "you've obviously had your brain fucked with. Yeah, you have all those things but they've always been treatable. It was hard enough convincing you of your abilities when you first joined the group and I really don't want to go through all of that again. You aren't from here. You never were. This planet acts as a symbiotic parasite. It's psychologically mind-fucking you. But when we get you far enough away hopefully everything will return to normal and your brain will remember who you are. Regardless, we really don't have time for this shit. Knock them out."
I will turn wide-eyed as the alien and robot come at me menacingly and pick up my portly cats as if they would be any help at defending me. (They won't.)
When I finally come to on a space ship I'll remember that I'm part of an intergalactic data collecting agency that has, somehow, saved the universe several times over by protecting countless innocent lives from being destroyed by their own ignorance and, yes, I'm a bad ass fighter. Also we defected from the data collecting agency by helping people and we're on the run. We're also all really intelligent but really bad at rational thought.
The Elders will stay cats for some reason (because they like being cats) except they'll have glow-y eyes cause that's cool. And they talk to me telepathically.
And, yeah, my life is kind of hard and scary and dangerous and I might be killed at any moment but it's still a lot better that living on that shit succubus of a planet that fed on my inadequacy and fear. At least I have a purpose.
Oh, and my girlfriend still exists except instead of being in Canada she's actually stuck in a space station far away working as a cardiac nurse and she's an alien and I love her.
And I have a really killer mustache.
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Anyway, the hospital Tabitha wakes up in is called St. Anthony’s, and I got curious, looked up Saint Anthony (of Padua), and he is the patron saint of lost people and things! In case you were wondering.
(And also of the mail.)
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