#ur actually so good at this i struggle to write angst like this ITS PERFECT š«¶
Man I adore tormenting dottore as my love language :3
cw: kinda dark? zandik accidentally hurting us because he's hallucinating (IM NOT AN EXPERT I just think it's like. Very realistic if this were to happen)
Anyways, I like to think that Dottore came from a... Rather unpleasant home, and then especially burned his home town along with everyone who has cursed him (except for you ofc)
Still, the memories hasn't left him. It's not like he could, no matter how much he buries himself in his research. Zandik can't heal when he pretends that it's all fine and that dwelling into such emotions would be a waste of time. This proved to be more prominent during his younger days...
One day, I could just imagine, you come home to your shared dorm, all preppy and smiles because you're finally gonna spend time with the love of your life! Only to see absolute ruin of your dormāeverything was a mess, papers strewn every where, couch flipped, drops of his blood on the floor. You panic, wondering if the Matra finally raided your home to arrest Zandik, then you heard him yellāin your bedroom. You run towards it, frantically, and stupidly.
You should've assessed the situation more. Took a deep breath and calmed your mindābut you were striken with anxiety and fear, and when you shouted "what happened here!?" "What did you do!?" at him, you were quickly met with pain you've never felt before.
He had burned you with a torch, and now you're on the ground, writhing and screaming in hellish pain, cradling the parts of your body that was burnt to a crisp. You see him grinning at you, eyes full of satisfaction and malice.
You thought that this was what he wanted all along, that everything was a lie and he just used you for all your worth, and now that he has nothing to use you for, he has decided to kill you.
But you then hear him shout: "Are you proud of me? I've become the monster you've always told me that I am."
Quickly, you realize that he hadn't meant to hurt you.
The scars stayed, much to Zandik's dismay. After treating your injuries, he has resorted to ignoring you for the next couple of days, being mean and insulting you.
Just be patient with him, you know that he cares. And that he's absolutely crushed that he has hurt you, of all people. He didn't mean it, but now you've got painful scars that will ache for a life time, all because of him. All because he was stubborn to heed your concerns. He wanted to burn the past, he really did. To forget and move on. He hated his childhood so much that he's willing to just let it burn into ashes... But he didn't realize if he tried, he'd burn you along with it.
You see him open his mouth whenever he tends your healing wounds, but then close it, biting his bottom lip to keep it from trembling. You see him read books all about treating burn wounds, cook you meals, ignoring his research all for youāhis hands shook, eyes dark though glassy. You know he wants to apologize, but then his eyes goes to your scars, sucks in a deep breath, glares at you and walks away.
He's really doing his best to push you away
Zandik cares so much that he wants you to leave him, hate him, for being who he is, for being what he is. But no, you're smiling so softly and reassuring him that you're fine. That it's not his fault, that he didn't mean it.
And he'd yell he did mean it, that you were just lucky to survive (as if he hasn't lost sleep and progress on his research just to tend to you).
It wasn't his fault, you urged.
You remember it all vividly. Zandik knocking frantically at your home, houses ablaze behind him, his body littered with cuts and bruises. People were carrying torches and pitchforks, makeshift weapons and screaming at Zandik to just leaveāand with out much thought, you grabbed as much as you could from your room and ran away with him.
You knew he finally snapped that day. Took matters in his own hands... He never talked much about it, but you could assume what happened. And you were certain he had confronted his parents before it all went to shit.
He wasn't trying to hurt you. He never did, and he would never want to hurt you. You were the exception and will always be, he would rather let the world cave in than letting you bleed by his hands. Zandik was lost in his thoughts, drowning in unpleasant memories and his eyes deceived himāhe thought you were someone else, and he wanted to hurt them, not you.
JGJGOFHFJDSJS yeah that, he most definitely probably cry in your arms talking about how much he hates ur scars bc he gave them to you...
I would add more BUT IM LITERALLY IN CLASS AND MY PROFESSOR IS LECTURING HELP OKAY BYE SMOOCHES ILY /P HAVE A GOOD DAY CKCBXKCBDJ
Sorry for this I just like. Exploring struggles and menta shit KBcjcjc
MOOT WHAT IS THIS... WHY ARE YOU HURTING US LIKE THIS my JAW WAS DROPPED THE WHOLE TIME šš Okay but real. I have two hcs when it comes to Zandik's parents - they were the only ones who loved him but they died when he was really young, or they really just hated him. I've also heard others say "Zandik" can be used as an insult too? I don't know how true that is though. But yeah I think the latter is more likely to be true unfortunately š Even if they were nice to him it wouldn't be enough to counter a whole town's worth of hatred towards him... yup yup the village definitely got burned down to the ground.
One would think that he wouldn't be affected. But he wasn't Dottore yet. He was merely Zandik at this point. He couldn't just shrug it off and go about his day. He pondered. He thought. He felt. He was still more human, more feeling than he wanted to admit, and he absolutely hated it. Still, he didn't regret it, but the memories would simply not leave his head. It was wholly bothersome. After all, not too long ago he was merely a little boy... a little boy who was deemed a monster, a demon child. All the people, even his own parents who accused him were gone now yet... their voices still rang clear in his head. And of course you had no clue, because Zandik would never speak about his feelings under any circumstance.
OUCHHHH HOW CAN I EVEN WRITE THE NEXT PART?? I CAN'T WRITE IT AS GOOD AS YOU oh gosh I WILL TRY. Ah... coming home to your shared dorm. Thinking it's going to be another regular, good day with you and your lover. But it's not, and when you see your home ransacked of course the first thing that goes through your mind is if your Zandik is okay. Of course you you rush to him and beckon him to tell you what happened as anyone would do. Of course you try to reach out to him. And of course, you didn't expect to be licked with flames by your lover's own hand, not only is your body crying out in pain but so is your heart - did Zandik really not care for you after all of these years? The only one who you treasured above all else... perhaps he never viewed you more than a pawn. But then you hear those few words that make you realize what's truly going on - ah, you understand now.
The logical part of Zandik knew that the scars would remain, but the illogical part of him hoped (to think he was even capable of that) badly that they wouldn't. You wonder what his expression was when he was tending to your wounds - you were asleep at the time - but even if you had seen it you probably wouldn't be able to put it into words... it was expressionless yet also not at the same time. He looked empty, and unfeeling, yet he looked the opposite too. And perhaps you wouldn't believe how tenderly he treated your wounds, from the way he's giving you the cold shoulder now. You wouldn't know the way his hands shook the whole time because he did that to you. The one person who would never, who should have never faced his anger, his wrath. It's all his fault, there's no denying that, he hurt you and now you're going to be hurting for the rest of your life too. The last person, no the only person who he doesn't want to see hurt.
Even now, Zandik doesn't understand you. How the fuck are you more calm about this than he is. He hurt you. He burnt you and he meant it and yet in the aftermath, there's not a hint of resentment on your face and he doesn't understand - he hates it so much, you should hate him, in fact it'd make him feel better if you did because how can you even begin to like him a tiny bit after what he's just done, he's claimed to love you and even in that twisted mind of his he knows that's not what lovers do. He doesn't understand why you haven't packed your bags and moved to another dorm by now, hell why do you try to usher him to bed because "lack of sleep is bad for him" what actually goes through your mind...? What went through your mind when you decided to leave with him too? The villagers weren't after you, just him, you could have had a normal life, but you still decided to go with him... you two had no plan, no money, no real necessities but you gave up everything for him anyway. Sigh...
Ouch... i feel like at some point you would just accept your scars but Zandik? Haunts him more than he wants to admit. Don't get me wrong he still thinks you're beautiful but... you know what I mean. Mhm... imagine the child segment asking you where/how you got the scars from and at the moment you make up the most ridiculous lie because that's all your brain can think of because there's no way you're telling the baby that Prime did it. Oh and the angst if Dottore hears that convo :(
Okay... moving on from that angst... PLS You're hella brave for being on tumblr in class, I'm too scared to open it or write fics in general in fear of someone seeing š Once I accidentally opened my blog on my laptop and I closed the tab at LIGHT SPEED. ILY TOO KAI I HOPE YOU'RE DOING WELL!! ā¤ļøā¤ļøā¤ļø
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ć127ā²s ideal typeć
headcanons, NCT 127
A/N: je suis back~ in these headcanons i talk about the type of person i imagine each member with, along with some of the traits i think they wouldnāt be too fond of. i did NOT include physical traits (ex:Ā āwould like a short/tall/blonde s/oā) because i really donāt know them??? lmao also that kind of thing could be a bit damaging to someoneās self esteem, and i want yall to know ur perfect & beautiful so
mark and hyuck will be included in dreamās version of this, and sicheng will be in wayvās :)
todayās gif theme is just random gifs i like bc idc, thereās no aesthetic
as always, this is gender-neutral
IF YOU LIKE MY WORK PLEASE REBLOG IT AS WELL AS LIKING IT T^T
šš®š·š»š®š¼:Ā fluff (ā”) and if you squint really hardĀ angst (ā) bc of some REALLY small things that for me are not actual angst but oh well
š¦šŖš»š·š²š·š°š¼: i think none?? if you read this and find something you think should be here let me know please!!!
word count: 1.5K
pairing: nct 127 members x reader (includes taeil, taeyong, johnny, yuta, doyoung, jaehyun, jungwoo)
disclaimer: the characters in the story below do not reflect real people or present real facts. this is purely fictional, and you may not copy, change, translate or repost my work in any way. all rights reserved Ā© cherry-hyejin 2021.
*ā§ļ½„ļ¾: *ā§ļ½„ļ¾:*ā§ļ½„ļ¾: *ā§ļ½„ļ¾:*ā§ļ½„ļ¾: *ā§ļ½„ļ¾:*ā§ļ½„ļ¾: *ā§ļ½„ļ¾:*ā§ļ½„ļ¾: *ā§ļ½„ļ¾:*ā§ļ½„ļ¾: *ā§ļ½„ļ¾:
Taeil
I see Taeil getting with someone whoās not only mature (personality-wise, actual age doesnāt matter) but also very determined and decisive. Heād like a person that doesnāt change their mind about things too often, learns well from their mistakes and is just all-around balanced. Other traits that I think heād look for: politeness, a MUST; grounded; good at giving advice. Pretty much a twin-flame of his.
I think heād find it cute if they think in a detail-oriented way and appreciate the small things in life. A positive, grateful mentality would be SO attractive to him, I swear.Ā
One of his deal breakers would most likely be excessive jealousy and possessiveness. He trusts you and your love for him, and I think heād feel distraught if you were constantly questioning the relationships he has with other people (friends, co-workers, fans, etc.)
Last important thing: needs a person that can take a hit. Heās probably looking for someone he can spend the rest of his days with, so a quitter just isnāt good for that. There will be difficult moments in the future and he needs to know they wonāt give up on him and on the life he chose.
Taeyong
I think Taeyong would like a calm person that knows how to take control of the relationship. He probably feels tired sometimes from leading a group of 23 people, so I can imagine heād be thrilled if he was able to not worry at all when heās around his partner. He trusts theyāre capable of dealing with any problems that may arise and keep their feet on the ground. Bonus points if they have a good relationship with themselves.
By that I mean: you know how people say you canāt truly love others until you love yourself? Yeah, that. Heās a person like any other, and there are times when he struggles with self-love, but he needs someone that doesnāt hate themselves, or heāll simply go crazy. With his career come so many rumours and moments that tear at his confidenceā¦ he just doesnāt need a person that has to be convinced every single day that theyāre worthy of the good things in life.Ā
Iād say, in general, all he asks for is someone that can watch out for themselves. Heād take care of them too, but heād like it SO much if just for once in his life heās the one being cared for. Would just melt on the spot if you have that caring, almost parental instinct in you. Gods, yes. Thatās all I can say.
Johnny
I can see him being with a very bright, smart person. Heād like someone that comes from a different background so he could learn more about their lifeāwhether that means the country they were born in or their field of work. I think he would appreciate a very laid back person that doesnāt get stressed too often and wonāt make fun of him for his bad jokes. Also, doesnāt like people that try to play him. Honesty above all.
Heād like it if they are super curious and creative, too. Picking up new hobbies and interests is something heād be up to anytime, and it doesnāt matter what it is either. Heād give anything a tryāfrom knitting to marine biology, no questions asked.
Something heād dislike is if the person is too materialistic. Itās not like heās a completely spiritual being and lives with 0 detachments to objects but heās a firm believer in what Antoine de Saint-ExupĆ©ry said: what is essential is invisible to the eye. And, you know, what you truly find essential is up to you; it can mean family, friends, love, hope, all of thatā¦ he just wants you to love life itself as much as he does.
Yuta
Heād probably like one of the two drastic variants: a very gentle, sweet person or someone whoās on his level of flirtatiousness and boldness. Wouldnāt mind any, but he needs a strong personality, either way, you know? No blandness here.Ā
Something very attractive to him is being involved in social issues and caring for the world around you. Very sexc, yes, and also likes people that make others smile.
Something that would make him quite literally give up on someone is the excessive fear of change, or just the will to remain in their comfort zone at all costs. He earns for a person that wants to live life to its fullest. If not theyāre not ride-or-die to that level, then he hopes they at least accompany and support him in all of the things he wants to do.Ā
One thing that is very tied to that is his dislike for know-it-alls. He lives in such a diverse scenario that itās just dumb for him to think someone would ever be capable of knowing every piece of information on everything thatās out there. Heās fine with people making mistakes, but if they canāt admit to that or admit they donāt know something he just gets pissed off. So, yeah, heād avoid stuck-ups.
Doyoung
Heād like someone very loyal and fair, who treats people with respect but calls them out if they ever have to. I think heād prefer a person that is naturally a deep thinker and wouldnāt lose their mind over small disagreements.Ā
Much like Johnny, he likes that intellectual side of yours, and when I say that I donāt mean like āah, heād want to date a math geniusā or something. No, no. Iām referring to all types of intellectuality and intelligence. The thing for him is simply using your brain and being proud of it. He would just dislike a person that kind of lives life on autopilot, you know?
Heād like it if theyāre interested or professionally involved with music somehow and would consider their opinions in his career. He wouldnāt mind if their taste is hugely different from his, though. Itās alright if pop music is not your favourite or if you have no idea who EXO is (lol). All he wants is to see the world through your eyes too, in all aspects of life including this one.
Will also love you forever if you side with him when heās being teased by the others, because, cāmon, itās always 22 people against poor, defenceless Doyoung. Please donāt join them, heās begging youā
Jaehyun
This is very, very clear to me but he needs to be with an independent person. Heās quite sentimental and he has his more romantic moments, sure, but he wants someone that can give him the space he needs when he needs it. A person thatās constantly begging him for attention would be way more of a burden than anything else.
Also, heās 100% alright with someone that has a very explicit and loud love language (like saying āI love youā 300 times a day) but heās not like that, and he needs them to see that. Jaehyun could NOT be with a person that doesnāt appreciate the love he shows in the little things, like making coffee in the morning, and if they ever question the way he feelsā¦ yeah, not good. Heād feel misunderstood and thatās a big no-no.
Heād find it cute if theyāre bubbly or just very youthful but is also capable of falling for an old soul that shares his interests in things like classical music and vinyls. I donāt think heād ever get with someone that's kind of a tech addict, though, idk why but thatās quite clear to me. Always being on your phone or caring too much about social media would probably make him feel like youāre not grateful for the things you have around you, in real life. So, yeah, not attractive, bestie.
Jungwoo
Jungwoo is a very, very, very sweet person and he needs someone whoās also like that. He wouldnāt care if thatās there for everyone to see, in the sense that theyāre not shy about it, or if itās a part of them that only a couple of close people know. As long as itās there, heās happy.
Aside from that, I think heās fully capable of falling in love with quite literally anyone. He can see the beauty in all types of people, from all places, backgrounds, races, and justāanyone. Heās just so full of love for people, ah I canāt even. Heās too good for this world.
Some things that could, however, push him away from getting to know someone: a negative way of thinking, being too traditionalistic, and too much scepticism. Heās fine with people that like to honour the past and their roots but like, youāve gotta keep up with the world you live in and accept that things change. I think thatās very tied to how much he likes defying masculine standards, too.Ā
The scepticism thing is quite simple: he can handle teasing just fine but if theyāre constantly making fun of him for wearing his heart on his sleeve or being a bit goofy, heād feel kind of betrayed.
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final notes: this is the 3rd nct work iām posting here and iām already writing more, so i think itās time i set up a masterlist, a fic rec blog and a tag list. if you want to be tagged in my future fics, let me know (dm, comments, anything) :)
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Mason Mount angst where ur just a normal person and ur dating and its perfect but then ppl find abt ur realtionship and u cant rly handle the hate and media so u break up? x
The first few months were like heaven, just the two of you and your little secret, being able to go to Tesco to do the weekly shop and not having to worry about whether there was pap following you around or having to think twice about posting on social media because you were scared of what horrible comments were thrown your way. Even after the news of you and Mason and got around, you could deal with having a bit of a platform and knowing that were in the public eye, I mean you didnāt think it was that big of a deal that you, just a random Uni girl from London was dating a premier league footballer, however you were soon proved wrong. As the weeks went on everything began to fade and go downhill, first it was the fact you had been spotted coming out of work with your boss and of course with you being āwell knownā now, the newspapers and magazines were soon to capture the two of you on camera literally just WALKING out the building together and managed to write many articles on ācheating Y/N?ā which did nothing good for you. Still, after that, if anything you and Mason became closer, him obviously knowing nothing was going on with them rumours and reassuring you not to worry, which was easier said then done. That was the point you stopped going out as often, only if you had to like to go to work or to the match, scared of the cameras flashing in your face and wondering what bullshit would be wrote about you next. Then came the Dms and comments from your Instagram posts, it didnāt matter if Mason featured in the post or not, you would be trolled with what you called ājealous fansā of his, who constantly made you feel disgusted in yourself and loved to talk shit about you and your appearances, getting the usual āhe can do betterā and āclearly in it for the moneyā. By the time the eight month mark came around, you were struggling, like massively struggling, more mentally than physically, feeling weak and not wanting to leave the house at all, even for a walk, and no matter how many times you tried to tell Mason, he never quite understood which you couldnāt argue with as you didnāt really get it either. In the end you had to do what was right for you, even though it absolutely broke your heart in two, it had to be done, there was no other way of getting away from the public eye and recognition but to call it quits between you and Mason. It wasnāt a decision you made easily and it probably took you longer to get over him than the amount of time yous actually dated for, but you couldnāt help but feel a weight lifted from your chest and sigh of relief pass over you, knowing you were once again just the random Londoner who no one knew or heard of ā¤ļø
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the buried fic comment from hell (it's so long i'm SO SORRY, I GOT EXCITED)
DEL.. I WASNāT SURE IF IT WAS APPROPRIATE TO LEAVE A LONG ASS COMMENT ON UR BURIED FIC IN PUBLICā¦.. SO IāM DROPPING IT HERE iām so sorry in advance this is about to be a mess,, iām so fucking emotional right now
((the review under the cut is in responseĀ to my fic which can b read here))
okay first ā
The mental image of tiny gangly Barnabas and Jonah crouched with their hands in the dirtā¦.. is so fucking cute?? I could feel Jonahās jealousy just burning off of him. You had me right away. Fuck. You know how to open a story and Iām deeply envious, Iāve always struggled with it. Also, you threw in that little hook:
Despite what Jonah believes, there are some things that just canāt be explained in words.
Barnabasā voice is so fucking goodā¦ guhā¦ you know. I didnāt much care about Barnabas in any deep way before I joined the Jonah server and you guys have all just completely GUTTED me, I canāt believe how much I care about this highly-strung bastard,, he is so GOOD. HEāS SO GOOD???? HEāS SUCH A SWEETIE. LIKE.Ā BARNABAS FEELING GUILTY AND HORRIFIED THAT PEOPLE ARE GRATEFUL TO HIM AND WANT HIM AROUND???? AAAAAAAAAA. And the melancholy aspect, too, which I imagine is how Mordechai was able to relate to him, get attached to himā¦ Barnabas being bitter about how useless his tears are while heās crying anxiously at the prospect that he might not be able to help those families after allā¦ā¦.
All of those scraps of Barnabasā letter to Jonah made such EXCELLENT transitions, holy hell. Again I am inspired by your storytelling prowess. I am taking notes, for whenever my ability to write longform fic returns from war. This one was my favorite, made my heart clench:
A good world starts with a good person and a few choices that are made with theĀ heartā
Heās so earnest Iām going to weep ;_; Barny.. you canāt make Jonah a better person heās AWFUL,,
(Side note, super digging that I can indent stuff, block quoting makes this SO much easier.)
Also really digging that Jonah doesnāt have as nice a reputation as Barnabasā¦ Jonah is the bad influence friend lmfao. AND JONAHāS CATā¦ I LOVE HIMā¦
And then you delivered a swift blow straight to the religion kink, as promisedā¦ āThereās something undeniably old testament about Jonah; the fire and fury of creation, the self-annihilating stare of Lotās wife.āĀ LOSING IT IāM LOSING ITā¦ WHAT A WAY OF DESCRIBING HIM God, here I thought I couldnāt possibly be more attracted to this bastard man. I am aghast at myself.
LOSING IT EVEN MORE OVER BARNABAS STACKING TEACUPS ON JONAHāS HEAD???? Why must you make them so fucking cute oh NO this is going to hurt isnāt it. ((This was the note I stuck in the Word doc while I was reading it and I thought Iād leave it as was for your enjoyment))
āTaking cues from your dreams?ā Barnabas replies.Ā āYou know only the desperately mad do that?āĀ
āOr desperately inspiredāsavants and prophets and visionaries.ā
And then you continued to try to kill meā¦ Jonah thinking of himself as a prophetā¦ā¦. hhhhh canon-typical overambitious zealotry Iām HERE FOR ITā¦ā¦ā¦
āAre you trying to make me angry with you by playing the devilās advocate?āĀ
āJust testing you,ā Jonah says in his alloyed voice, silver-and-honey-gold.Ā
Del I cannot stress enoughā¦ My religion kinkā¦ā¦ā¦. Itās been SO VERY ACTIVATED.
āYour morality has only ever been a thin cover for your shame.ā
OUCH, JONAH, JESUS
Every bit of their dialogue was so familiar and tinged with bittersweetness and I owe you my entire lifeā¦ Sincerely. Ugh. Like, how you described Barnabasā internal angst about it later on ā when heās thinking of Mordechai, and he refers to "his many dog-eared fantasiesā about Jonah it just really vividly conjured the thought of he and Jonah having a sort of? Queer solidarity, ESPECIALLY having grown up together. And that makes Jonahās flash of betrayal at Barnabas not wanting to be SEEN with him that much more agonizing, personally. Like. Iāve had that happen to me more than once in real life. And much as Jonah is a piece of shit who is absolutely manipulating himā¦ā¦ā¦. still, ouch. Ouch. (Barnabasā thoughts on the company Jonah keeps also made me wince. You did an AMAZING job with all of the internalized shame and frantic rationalizations, hooooooboy.)
The Lukases being colorblind is such an interesting piece of lore by the way I love it????? Now I have. Some questions, about Peter. Mordechaiās characterization in this is so fascinating to me. Iām enTRANCED by how you reverse-Unoād it so that Barnabas was the reason Mordechai lost himself to the Lonelyā¦ the power dynamicsā¦ā¦. so tasty. Ugh. And all of the sensual descriptions, especially of that first visit Barnabas had at Moorland house?? I didnāt clip any because I would have ended up clipping the whole fucking thing. It was aching, haunting, beautiful, holyshit. Their romance is somehow more fucked up than Barnabas and Jonahāsā¦
Also, I was so eager to read this I skipped the tags/warnings and completely didnāt realize Mordechai was going to be an actual vampire so that was a VERY fun surprise lmfao.
Barnabas feels like heās close to learning something about violence and desire, how close they are, how the wires can get crossed.
THIS QUOTE IS EVERYTHING TO MEEEEEE ugh Iām having an aneurysm over how Jonah managed to fashion Barnabas into a creature that could understand him by gifting him to Mordechai for a whileā¦ letting Mordechai crack him open at the points where he was already brittle and experience an influx of some of the true darkness of the world. Just a tasty taste. That way when he discovers the truth of Jonahās occult interests he wonāt run away, because heās already got his own fingers in the mess. Heās already given himself to one horror, why not Jonah? Shave some of the shine off of his morality, make him nice and gray so he wonāt contrast so much with Jonahā¦ And satisfying his curiosity at the same time. Two birds.
Oh, also, still sobbing about this line:
he realises that he doesnāt want to wear any colours that Mordechai canāt properly see.
EVERY TIME I let my guard down for ten seconds you smacked me with more of Barnabas being the most precious bleeding heart in the universe!!!!!! He aches so much for the people heās trying to help and he hates people like Mordechai but part of him also wants to save Mordechai, somehowā¦ maybe recognizes the parts of him that are like these people, still. Nearly faded but not quite gone yet. And as youāve already established, Barnabas simply cannot let things go. Canāt disappoint peopleā¦ canāt leave them when he could be doing something. Anything. Augh, FEELINGS.
Of course he knew Mordechai and Jonah were friends, heād just temporarily believed in a sane and fair universe where things like this donāt happen.Ā
AND YOU HAD SUCH A PERFECT BALANCE OF HUMORā¦ This could have been such a feelbad fic, and tbh it still would have been spectacular. But you always eased it at just the right moment to keep it from going off the rails into irretrievable deepdark territory. Fed me little soft moments so Iād still be vulnerable enough to have my HEART RIPPED OUT LATERā¦
Iām not super interested in the Buried canon-wise but I love how youāve written Barnabasā natural affiliation with itā¦ so subtle but powerful? (Of COURSE Jonah was jealous, lmao. He had to work so hard and heās still not on Barnabasā level. Thereās some kinda beautiful commentary on ambition versus goodwill in there somewhere but Iām too busy nursing my battered little heart right now to articulate it.) It wove its way in and out of the rest of the plot so naturally, too. For some reason it compliments Barnabasā temperament as I read it in canon justā¦ so well. Was there a discussion about this on the server, and if so, PLEASE tell me about it sometime Iām so fascinated.
Jonah wasnāt even present for a lot of the fic but his characterization was so INTENSE and luminous, Christā¦ I know I already praised it a bit but. Woof. I wasnāt expecting to get a taste of his POV at the end and I was so excited I kicked my feet (my cat was very disgruntled) like, this line!!!
Now, he thinks thereās some truth in those false statements, in the lies we tell and why we want to be believed.
GOD, YOUāRE REALLY GONNA GIVE ME FEELINGS ABOUT JONAH AND FUTURE-JONAHLIAS IN THE SAME FIC?????? EVILā¦ Iām so so so fucking here for it, oh my God, Jonah with an amplifying anxiety disorder, THE PRICE OF IMMORTALITYā¦ too bad the Eye doesnāt let you see the future, Jonah, lmaoā¦ the line āimmortality just made his anxiety turn nuclearā is SEARED into my brain now, I am NOT accepting canon to contradict this ever again. Iāve always wondered how Jonahās neuroses might have worsened in two entire fucking CENTURIES and I love the way you wrote it. I am fucking. Losing my mind.
Thereās so many other things I could comment on, like. The brief but glorious Jonah-grinding-himself-off-on-Barnabasā-thigh shenanigans. Was incredibly hot, and Mordechaiās poor fragile heart breaking, and Barnabas telling Isabel that itās fine to call him Barnyā¦ā¦.. Iām hhhhhhhhHHHH fuck, fuck, fuck. Iām just!! I am incomprehensible!!! Everyone told me this fic was amazing but itās fucking amazing, Del, what the hell. Iām never gonna be the same after this. The end was SHOCKINGLY sweet and I have WHIPLASH.
ā¦ā¦ā¦ā¦ So, now that Iāve made you read a novel. Hah. Sorry. My point is. I loved every bit of this. It deserved heaps more praise but my eyes are starting to cross. Thx for sharing :ā)Ā
Love,
Tony xx
TONY. TONY THIS MEANS EVERYTHING TO ME. FIRSTLY IāM SO GLAD YOU LIKED THIS. SECOND OF ALL, THANKS TO YOU IāLL BE SCREAMING FROM THE ROOFTOPS FOREVER HAVE YOU ANY IDEA HOW THIS REVIEW HAS AFFECTED ME? ITāS THE BEST FEEDBACK IāVE EVER RECIEVED IN MY LIFE I FEEL LIKE A FIRSTGRADER GETTING THEIR FIRST GOLD STAR I FEEL ON TOP OF THE WORLD LIKE I COULD THROW THE JEWEL OF THE SEA OFF THE SHIP AND LEAN OVER THE RAILINGS BECAUSE YOUR ARMS ARE AROUND ME TONY ITāS BEEN MONTHS AND THIS REVIEW HAS BEEN A FIREPLACE KEEPING ME WARM THROUGH THE WINTER MONTHS I LOVE YOU DEARLY FOR THIS YOU ARE AN ABSOLUTE CHAMPION IF YOU WERE IN FRONT OF ME RIGHT NOW I WOULD FRENCH KISS YOU WITHOUT HESISTATION UNTIL THE BOTH OF US HAVE RUN OUT OF AIR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FUCKING BLESS YOU TONY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Ā
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summer fl(in)g. gigi/crystal
a/n i made crystal sad about 3/4 through and im SORRY i was projecting. anyways theres a tiny tiny bit of angst but MOST of this is just dumb gays in l*ve. im still getting used to writing fics so be nice pls !!!! also if u want a pt2 be sure to let me know!
summary: lockdown in summer can be lonely, but Crystal and Gigi make sure they never feel alone. thank god they have good service. (3.8k words)
When lockdown was announced, Crystal wasnāt surprised. The pandemic was taking the world by storm and yeah, it fucking terrified her. But she had to look on the bright side. So that's what she did. Just as the announcement came to an end, Crystalās phone pinged from her pocket and she smiled to see her friends' names light up on the screen.
JANtastic: well its official
miss cox: Yeah Iām gonna miss u guys!!!
goodegirl: you say that as if u wonāt be spending lockdown with jan. iāll be ALONE thanks for asking
CRYstal: hey iāll be alone too !!! Iāll text u everyday to keep u company :-))
goodegirl: iām gonna hold u up to that
And Gigi did hold her up to that. The country was two days into lockdown when Crystal received her first message.
goodegirl: ugh we are how many days into lockdown? And ive already had A MILLION people hit me up with āhows quarantine treating u ;)ā i am SICK.
When Crystal read the text, an odd feeling bubbled in her stomach. She told herself it was because she wasnāt used to out-of-the-blue messages from Gigi yet, they just didnāt talk that much, but looking back she admits there was probably (definitely) more to it than that. Of course the girls had already been friends, but Crystal had never found it in herself to speak to Gigi that much because, well, she was intimidatingly gorgeous. They got on well in groups, where Crystal could try to focus her attention on someone who didnāt make her face red every time she looked at her, but she knew if she invited Gigi out by themselves, she would make a fool of herself. It was stupid really, it wasnāt even like she had feelings for her - she was just too pretty, and Crystal didnāt know how to handle herself around someone who looked like they belonged in a vogue magazine. A ping shook her from her thoughts.
goodegirl: like i get that ppl are thirsty rn. i get it. i am too. but is that really the BEST they can come up with?
Crystal needed to reply. But what could she even say to that?
CRYstal: at least u have people trying to hit you up ://
goodegirl: omg what??? ur telling me not ONE person has tried to slide into those dms? they need to get on that! ur a catch
Crystal felt her face flush at the comment. Did Gigi really think she was a catch? Or maybe sheās just being nice? That was probably it. Just friendly banter.Ā
CRYstal: nope haha! ANYWAYS. hows quarantine treating u ;-)
goodegirl: very funny. bitch.
From then on, the texts flowed easily between the two and Crystal started to ask herself why she hadnāt done this earlier. So what if Gigi was offensively attractive? They clicked so easily - Gigi was smart, quick witted, and didnāt take anything too seriously. So really, she was Crystal's perfect match. As a friend. Platonically. That night, they texted until Crystal was struggling to even keep her eyes open. It was a conversation that felt natural to them, bringing up anything that came into their heads and letting eachother start stupid tangents without fear of judgement. Gigi found Crystal's ability to ramble on about any random subject impossibly endearing, but she wouldnāt admit that out loud. Not yet, anyways.
--
After three days of almost constant texting, Crystal facetimed Gigi for the first time. She picked up within seconds with wide eyes and a grin on her face.Ā
āHey youā If Crystal couldnāt see her smile (which she absolutely could) then she could definitely hear it. Gigiās voice was soft and she hadnāt realised how much she missed it until she was reminded of it. The best thing was that Gigi sounded genuinely happy to speak to Crystal, it made her ecstatic. Crystal had called in the late afternoon, just before the sun had started to set, so she could see golden light shining gently onto Gigiās features. It left her speechless for a second. How many times was Gigi going to leave her completely unable to reply by merely talking to her? This girl was going to be the death of her. When Crystal finally came to, she managed out a soft, but casual, reply, hoping that she had covered up the embarrassing amount of time it took for her to speak. If Gigi noticed, she didnāt mention it.Ā
It took them a while to get into the rhythm of actually talking to each other - texts made it easy to think over before you send, and Gigi had never really been one to think before she spoke aloud anyway. She didnāt want to scare Crystal off with how blunt she could be, but after some awkward laughs and stuttered jokes, the pair slowly fell into a rhythm they felt surprisingly comfortable in; they bounced off each other's jokes and soon enough their cheeks hurt from smiling. A few hours into the call, Crystal was sitting comfortably on her bed, her phone propped up with pillows so she and Gigi could still see each other. She caught herself staring again. It started off as small glances that lingered a bit longer than they should, but it was easy to do that and quickly cover it up, especially on facetime. Soon enough, Crystal would completely daze off for minutes, just staring at the girl on her screen. She figured out she really liked looking at Gigi, and Gigi didnāt seem to mind.
Gigi thinks Crystalās voice is her favourite sound. After about 5 minutes of hearing run on sentences about god knows what, she had already decided she could listen to her talk forever. About anything. She really didnāt care as long as it was Crystal and she was talking to her. As the call progressed into the late hours of the night, the pair had started to get giggly - the tiredness they were feeling was starting to take effect, but it made them anything but sleepy. At 11:56pm, Gigi decided Crystalās laugh was her second favourite sound. She would sometimes giggle, sometimes sheād shake with silent laughter, but her favourite was when she gave into a full-belly laugh. The kind of laugh that substitutes for a full core workout. That was Gigiās favourite.Ā
Crystal was obsessed with Gigiās smile. It softened Gigi, showed a side of her that Crystal hadnāt been acquainted to previously, but she was so glad she knew now. Gigi could be harsh sometimes, she had learned this years ago and had just accepted it as who Gigi was, but after seeing that damn smile, it was hard to think that Gigi was even capable of hurting a fly. Crystal was quick to realise the mean girl facade (which had only made her scarier to talk to, and somehow more attractive) was just that - a facade. Walls she had built up. Crystal was eager to break them down, and she felt like she was making a good start everytime Gigi smiled like that.
They hung up when Gigi started yawning more than she was talking, she insisted it was just because she was tired, and Crystal wholeheartedly believed her. When Gigiās face disappeared from her screen, Crystal was still smiling. Her cheeks hurt and she felt whole. She took a deep breath and took in the silence for a moment - she was alone again. She didnāt feel lonely. Despite her ever-growing fatigue, Crystal just couldnāt fall asleep, her head was buzzing with Gigiās voice, and her laugh, and her smile, and her eyes, and- Crystal was in deep shit. She was all too familiar with the feeling of butterflies manifesting in her stomach, the thoughts of a particular person on her mind constantly. To be completely honest, she hated it. Falling for anyone had never ended well for her, and falling for someone she was already friends with? Even worse. There was no way this would end without somebody getting hurt, and that somebody would probably be Crystal. And yet, being stuck in isolation, she thought the idea of possibly having a girlfriend didnāt sound too bad, but that might have been the lack of human contact talking.Ā
Gigi let her thoughts wonder as she drifted off into sleep. She wasnāt one to get crushes, but when she fell, she fell hard. And willingly. There was just something about the drama of having such strong feelings for someone, and playing guessing games on how they felt. And by the way Crystal had been staring at her all night, Gigi felt like she was on the right tracks. She liked the way her cheeks would flush if she thought too hard about the girl, or how butterflies would dance around in her stomach, making her feel lighter than a feather. Maybe she was just a hopeless romantic, but she wouldnāt have it any other way. She allowed herself to dream up scenarios of herself and Crystal being together once this whole situation was over. She quite liked how it looked in her head.Ā
--
As the days passed, Gigi and Crystal found themselves spending more of their waking hours talking to each other over facetime than they did doing anything else. They were both falling quickly, only mildly aware of each other's adoration. It didnāt take very long for the casual flirting to start. Everytime Gigi gave an off-handed compliment about how Crystal sounded āreally pretty todayā or how her laugh is āthe prettiest thingā, the other girl would turn bright red and freeze up. Gigi would tease her about it, which only made her more and more flustered. She thought sheād eventually get used to it, but she never did. Crystal tried to flirt back,really tried,Ā she wanted more than anything to make Gigi stumble over her words like she does to her so often, but she would always be completely unfazed by every compliment Crystal could think of. Crystal found her ability to keep her composure so easily both irritating and compelling.Ā
It took Crystal a few days to find something that would finally, finally break Gigi down. Pet names. When she had casually let ābabeā slip in the middle of a sentence, she could practically see the breath that got stuck in Gigiās throat before she started to choke on nothing but air. When Crystal asked if she was ok, she answered with a question.
āDid you just call me babe?ā
āYeah. Is that a problem?ā Crystal genuinely wanted to make sure that it was ok, but the comment came off as less of a question, and more as straight up flirting.Ā
āNo. Nope. Not a problem at all. What were we talking about?ā
Crystal doesnāt press further, taking pride in being able to make the girl so speechless, and continues what she was saying as if nothing had stopped her in the first place. She watched as Gigiās blush died down very, very slowly, only to watch it burn up again every time Crystal repeated the pet name. She absolutely adored it.Ā
āYouāre cute when you blush, babeā Gigi made a noise at this. Crystal made a note of that before deciding that this would never get old.
--
Soon enough, the girls were in a comfortable routine - talking every day until one of them would give in to sleep. It was usually Crystal. Gigi would stay on the call for a bit, just to listen to the girlās breathing, it provided an unexpected comfort to her. Plus Crystal was adorable when she slept. The routine was broken one day about a month into the lockdown, though nobody was really paying attention to what day it was anyway. Gigi had been awake for no more than an hour when she started to miss Crystal, so she gave her a call. Crystal didnāt pick up. Gigi called again, just in case Crystal had her phone on silent, but she was met with no answer. Instead, she was sent a text, a text which really didnāt explain anything. At all.
CRYstal: hey !!! sorry canāt pick up rn but i promise u i will call in like an hour or two ???? speak to u soon love !!!! <3
It was unusual for Crystal to miss out on a call - she was usually the one to be ringing Gigi. What could she even be doing? Gigi needed a distraction, something to pass the time instead of sitting and waiting. That was when she realised she hadnāt worn any makeup in weeks, so she sat herself down and started on a full face - the process of doing her makeup always calmed her down, so it was a welcome distraction. Just as she finished, her phone began ringing. She didnāt have to check to see who it was.Ā
āHi! Sorry I didnāt answer before I was kinda busyā Gigi was speechless. A pixelated Crystal was beaming at her from her phone screen. And she had green hair now. This is why she didnāt pick up? The bitch was dyeing her hair? It did look really pretty though. Like, really, really pretty.
āQuarantines really getting to you that much huh?ā Gigi decided against gushing about Crystalās new hair - that would be giving her what she wanted.
āDo you like it?ā She loved it. Adored it.Ā
āItās niceāĀ
āThatās all youāre going to say?ā
āNeedy are we?ā That shut her up. She changed the topic in an instant.Ā
āSo... you look really pretty today!ā
That night, the girls fell back into their easy routine. It had been hours since she first saw it, but Gigi couldnāt keep her eyes off of Crystal and her new look. It really suited her. It just felt so utterly Crystal. The green haired girl was in the middle of a long rant about how One DIrection āare definitely planning a reunion really really soonā when Gigi had to stop her.
āI fucking love your hair, Crysā She blushed at the out-of-the-blue compliment.
āReally? I thought it was just nice?ā Gigi shook her head.
āI was teasing, of course I love it. It suits you so much, you look beautifulā She was smiling ear to ear. Crystal loved it when Gigi gushed over her like this. It made her feel like there could be something there, like this was more than friends bored in quarantine.
āThanks,ā Crystal paused for just a moment before her face lit up āOh my God, you should do something to your hair too!ā Gigi hated that idea, and shook her head affectionately at the girl's adorable excitement. She felt slightly bad when she told her that she would be caught dead before doing anything to her hair - she loved the deep brown colour it had always been, and was happy with how the length framed her face. Crystal however, was incessant. Gigi was surprised when she found herself telling Crystal that sheād āthink aboutā changing her hair up.Ā
Saying this was a huge mistake. Crystal reminded her every other hour that she had to dye it or cut it or just do something, and it drove Gigi insane. It took her all but two days to finally cave in - it irked her that Crystal had this much power over her. She wanted to do something shocking, something that would shut Crystal up about her damn hair for good. So she shaved it.Ā
She did it when Crystal fell asleep after a particularly heated debate about her hair (the second of the night) and Gigi hung up to get to work on it. To call it an impulse decision wasnāt perhaps the most accurate, seeing as though she had been bugged about it for a solid 48 hours, but waking up that morning, Gigi hadnāt expected that all her hair would be gone by the time she went to sleep. Once she had finally bitten the bullet, it took her an hour to admit that she actually kind of liked the look - plus it was fun to touch.Ā
When Crystal called her that morning, Gigi took a moment to herself before answering. She hadnāt told her about the change in her appearance and hoped she would like it, or at least be pleased that Gigi finally listened to her. She took a breath and picked up, feigning confidence with a casual āmorning!ā. She watched Crystalās eyes go wide and her hands cover her mouth. Gigi acted oblivious.
āWhat's up? Is there someone behind me or something?ā She looked at her screen and patiently waited until Crystal composed herself - she was used to her staring anyway. When Crystal finally spoke, she was practically squealing out a string of compliments. Apparently, she loved it.Ā
āAre you keeping it like that? Please say youāre keeping it like that, it's so hotā Gigi wasnāt sure if she would grow it out, but after Crystal had said that, it was an easy decision.
āI guess Iāll keep it then. Just for youā
--
Crystal loved being so open with Gigi, and she really appreciated how close they had gotten during lockdown - but she really just needed today off. She had woken up one morning with a feeling of dread that she couldnāt quite place, and a persistent headache. This was going to be a bad day, but she was used to bad days. She ignored Gigiās calls and sent no follow up text. She could speak to Gigi later. Right now, she was just going to go back to sleep.Ā
So that's what she did. She woke up in the late afternoon and finally dragged herself out of bed to make some food in the evening. When she got back to the safety of her bed, she was still tired. And she kind of felt like crying. So she cried. Sometimes, especially on bad days, Crystalās mind could get the best of her, she had learned to just let herself get all her feelings out when she got like this - bottling them up had only ever made them worse. This was when Gigi called for the millionth time that day, her texts had become concerned, then angry, then concerned again. Crystal felt like she owed an explanation, so with bloodshot eyes and a puffy red face, Crystal finally picked up.
āUgh finally! You havenāt spoken to me all day I- whatās wrong?ā Crystal felt a ping of guilt at Gigiās initial response to her answering. Had she really kept her waiting all day? It felt silly, like an unreasonable excuse, but deep down Crystal knew what was good for her. She also didnāt know how to answer Gigiās question. She was starting to regret picking up, having Gigi see her like this - god, she must have looked a mess.
āIām sorry I shouldnāt have picked up. I'm probably bringing the mood downā She saw Gigiās features become impossibly softer at that.
āHey, no, it's ok. We donāt have to talk about it, but we can if you want to. But youāre not hanging up. And neither am I. If it means I sit in complete silence with you for the next few hours then so be itāĀ
This was when Crystal knew Gigi was a keeper. Whether whatever they had going on would continue, or whether they would return to strictly just friends, Gigi was someone she needed to keep in her life. They eventually started talking, first it was about how Gigiās day went - Crystal didnāt feel like speaking much, but once she warmed up to seeing that all-familiar smile, she felt comfortable enough to start to open up. They talked for hours. Crystal cried. Gigi cried (though not as much).Ā
āI just wish I could be there to help, or at least give you a hug or something, god this sucksā Crystal saw this as an opportunity to lighten the mood.
āAs if you would settle for just a hugā Crystal winked pitifully and Gigi laughed, but didnāt disagree.Ā
Of course one chat didnāt fix Crystalās problems, but at least now she had someone in her corner - and that was half the battle.
--
It didnāt take the pair very long to fall back into their rhythm, feeling closer and more comfortable with each other, their feelings getting stronger as each day passed on. Crystal found herself falling back into the habit of sitting silent, and admiring the girl on her screen.
āYouāre staring.ā Gigi told her. Crystal hummened in agreement.
āYouāre prettyā
It was normal for the pair to bounce words like pretty, and beautiful, and gorgeous between them. It was as if they both knew exactly how the other felt - like it was completely unspoken and yet so obvious. And maybe it was.
Two months into lockdown, Gigi was really starting to miss physical contact - she was starting to feel a thrill when she made eye contact with strangers on her way to her weekly shop, she was getting desperate. It was brought up with Crystal.
āI just miss human contact. I want to hold a hand. I want someone to hug me. I want a kiss! Oh my god I miss kissing.ā Crystal felt herself blushing at the mention of kissing (kissing Gigi, nonetheless). She would give anything to see Gigi right now, to be close to her.
āWhen this is over, Iāll kiss you, donāt even worry about itā Crystal was only half joking. GIgi went red, but tried to act as if the thought of Crystal kissing her didnāt phase her at all.
āOh will you now?ā
āIām not kiddingā
āWell. Iād very much like that Miss Methydā Gigi gave in, she refused to play hard to get with someone who she had fallen so hard for. She just hoped Crystal would stick to her word.
--
Summer was halfway through when lockdown was lifted. The instant the announcement was made, Crystal phone pinged - it wasJan, and she suddenly felt a wave of deja vu from when the lockdown started.
JANtastic: GUYSSSSSS iāve missed you so much PLEASE say yāall are free to meet? Like right now?!?!Ā
JANtatsic: Jackieās already with me so, sheās down too :))
CRYstal: iāve missed you too !!! iām free to meet!
goodegirl: me too !!
The group reunited within an hour, Crystal shed some happy tears, and Gigi laughed as she wiped them for her. It was nice to be with her, to be able to stand next to each other. But it also felt odd - like something had shifted now that they were right in front of each other. So for the rest of summer, the girls shared lingering glances and awkward smiles, too scared to make an official move.
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do u have any more otasune fic recommendations? i love them and im anxiously awaiting more of ur writing
ANONā¦. I AM SO FUCKING SORRYā¦. I AM THE WORST WRITER IN EXISTENCE AND I NEVER UPDATEā¦. I HAVE LIKE 4 SENTENCES WRITTEN FOR THE NEXT CHAPTER OF HOME MATCHā¦..Ā
seriously though like.Ā i dedicate much more time to the visual arts! bc thats my primary thing! so writing falls to the wayside sometimesā¦. IM SO SORRYā¦.. I FEEL SO BAD ASSPSJKELGKDSFC
well even though i cant write i can STILL GIVE YOU FIC RECS!!!!! SO HERE WE GO
Fifty Dogs - the title is a perfect descriptor. what more can i say
i just want to hear your voice - takes place immediately after the laughing octopus fight in mgs4! snake is stressed and just wants to talk to his husband..
The 349.99$ Zeer-Moeilijk-Om-Tafel-Te-Bouwen - ok weird title but itās because snake and otacon are putting together ikea furniture lmao. itās fluffy, itās short, itās domestic as HELL, what more could you want
No One Has to Know - a classic! hal runs away from home, and luckily meets dave, who is a struggling businessman.Ā
Advanced Interrogation TechniquesĀ - let me warn youā¦. this one is wildā¦.. hoo boy (just kidding its about tickling)
Dream a Little Dream of Me - HARD angst. alternate title should beĀ āHOW TO MAKE ME CRY ANGRILY IN LESS THAN 350 WORDSā seriously i was a mess... if you look in the comments of this one you can see me be mad
built for two - takes place directly after mgs1! hal is left all alone at shadow mosesā¦ but dave goes back to rescue him too!Ā
taking your hand (in marriage) - ok this one is literally actually buckwild but I Love It. the premise is that hal lost one of his arms as a child, and many many years later after dave dies of his advanced aging, hal gets daveās arm transplanted onto his body. And Then Gets Fucking Haunted by Daveās Ghost, a la liquid ocelot style. itās a weird concept bUT ITS SO WARM AND FEEL GOODā¦. I LOVE IT!!!!
Run From Their Company Series - honestly this oneās a classic too! dave is an fbi agent sent to assassinate or take out hal, who is unknowingly hacked into and then sold sensitive information. on impulse both of them decide to commit treason and run away, and now theyāre on the run from the government! (my personal fav is part 6!)
imma be real with you and say im honestly running out of fics to recommend. im not saying that the rest of the fics are bad at all, iām just saying that the rest of the fics i either dont remember or are nsfwā¦!!!! so! idk how many recommendations i can give!
still tho! im so flattered you ask me for recs and like my writingā¦ hnngngnhgn
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Answered Asks // 2
Under the cut~~~
Anonymous said to enaasteria:
April 15th 2017, 9:14:00 pm Ā· 6 months ago
Ok, don't answer to this because I will not see it anyway. I was @jamlesspyo and I say was because when you'll see this my blog will already be deleted, personnal reasons. So I want to tell that you are one of the most amazing writer I had the chance to read a story of. You are also the sweetest person so thank you so much. I hope that one you will have enough confidence in yourself because you deserve it so much. Love you and stay healthy
I will answer this bc you might come back and Iāll def miss you. Thank you for all your warm encouragement and help throughout my struggles and I couldnāt have asked for a better reader/friend. Miss you and wishing you all the best!
Anonymous said to enaasteria:
April 20th 2017, 10:59:00 pm Ā· 6 months ago
you might not read this for awhile and when you do you don't have to reply, but i just wanted to tell you that all of your writing here is beautiful and amazing! finishing your story is so worth waiting for and i can't wait to read the ending! thank you for sharing your writing!
You might not think this after you read chapter 16. Itās a kind of flargh chapter but needed to be in there so T_____T Iām kinda nervous about it but hopes everyone enjoys and feel it was worth the wait.
Anonymous said to enaasteria:
April 23rd 2017, 1:14:00 am Ā· 5 months ago
Freaking heck, you are an amazing and professional writer!!! I'm reading through Apartment 5108 now and I can't think of words even close to satisfactory enough to compliment your writing!! All the best for your writing and future endeavours! :)
Ahhhhhh you are too kind to me. Thank you so much for reading and no worries. please donāt stress over what to write or compliments because I enjoy any kind of feedback tbh. Spazz messages are the best!
@sassyunicorns2āĀ said to enaasteria:
May 11th 2017, 8:31:00 am Ā· 5 months ago
I won't lose hope! I know you can do it, because you are an amazing writter and you always have great ideas!!! I am here in the other part of the world cheering for you! š FIGHTING!! šŖš P.S.: I'm sorry for the errors.
I hope you enjoy this chapter and thank you so much for your continued support. It means so much to me and Iām so glad you love this story!
@whosexoāĀ said to enaasteria:
May 11th 2017, 3:57:00 pm Ā· 5 months ago
SEND š THIS š TO š THE š FIFTEEN š NICEST š PEOPLE š ON š TUMBLR š IF š YOU š GET š 5 š BACK š YOU š MUST š BE š PERFECT š Miss you hope you're doing amazing!!
No words can amount to how much i love you too! I apologize for my year long disappearance. Iām a terrible person. UGH. But I shall blame it on work and daily stress. T___T Hope you are well too, love!
@dream-exo-fantasyĀ said to enaasteria:
May 11th 2017, 3:58:00 pm Ā· 5 months ago
SEND š THIS š TO š THE š FIFTEEN š NICEST š PEOPLE š ON š TUMBLR š IF š YOU š GET š 5 š BACK š YOU š MUST š BE š PERFECT š (A side message: I hope you're not stressing too much about writing. Take your time and stay healthy š)
You are the sweetest and thank you so much. 2017 was unfortunately the most stress filled year iāve ever experienced but hopefully the latter end will treat us all better, yeah? T.T
Anonymous said to enaasteria:
May 12th 2017, 1:46:00 am Ā· 5 months ago
wah yay! okay take your time! i (and many others) can't wait to see your masterpiece! š
Love you!
Anonymous said to enaasteria:
May 20th 2017, 12:32:00 am Ā· 5 months ago
So I was wondering did ahri told sehun about what happened to her while sehun went after jiyul like she drank the juice and was taken to hospital or did sehun already knew or anyone told him bc I think you didn't mention that?..
Soi definitely told him---actually her wrath probably yelled at him and was infuriated with his poor actions. he probably got scolded by everyone tbh.
Anonymous said to enaasteria:
May 29th 2017, 6:07:00 pm Ā· 4 months ago
Youre probably busy with apartment 5108 but i really hope you do come back to keepers! Chapter 1 left me on edge and im still eagerly waiting for the next part!! Much love sent your wayā¤ļøā¤ļøā¤ļø
I CANT WAIT FOR KEEPERS. I want to write it two ways but I might just do two endings bc Iām a sap and a total angst fest lol
Anonymous said to enaasteria:
June 5th 2017, 8:41:00 pm Ā· 4 months ago
enaaaaaaa i miss yoooooouuuuuuuuu ):<
I MISS YOU TOOOOOOOOOOOO
@unsungthoughtsĀ said to enaasteria:
June 5th 2017, 9:19:00 pm Ā· 4 months ago
Apartment 5108. I'm beyond in love w this story! I was so into the story to the point where I could literally feel everything, the emotion esp. It is truly an amazing piece of writing. I'm new here (since yesterday and just finished 5min ago) --cont.cont.-- and yet to explore ur other stories, which I will definitely do cz I LOVE YOUR WRITING SO MUCH š
You make me blush! Iām so happy you enjoyed this story and Iām glad it made you feel things. I hope 16 treats you well and that youāre having a great time on tumblr! welcome, welcome. AND I LOVE YOU TOO
Anonymous said to enaasteria:
June 15th 2017, 11:47:00 pm Ā· 4 months ago
power through love! you got this! šš½šš½
I was jamming to POWER as I wrote this chapter. Lord knows I needed the help. orz
Anonymous said to enaasteria:
June 23rd 2017, 2:25:00 pm Ā· 3 months ago
this is kinda random but Charlie puth's Attention reminds me of Red š
Imma go listen to this and add it to the playlist! TY ANON!
Anonymous said to enaasteria:
June 24th 2017, 11:31:00 pm Ā· 3 months ago
ena, i just wish you can fathom 1/16 of the greatness you've omitted onto the exo fandom. you're writing is absolute perfection. fandom writers are just not appreciated enough! you're art is just as important than the art exo creates. you are able to create a story and a character. just think about that. a person and their life. real or not, you've created a character all of us can relate to in one way or another. i hope you keep finding joy in what you do and never lose this passion. šŗ
I remember reading this message 3 months ago and it made me want to cry. Thank you so much for your kind words and thank you for appreciating fanfiction as an art form. I think this writing is such a lost art and people donāt appreciate the time and effort going into a story. But reading this made it so worth it and thank you so much for your kindness!
Anonymous said to enaasteria:
July 7th 2017, 7:22:00 am Ā· 3 months ago
Omg i just followed you now bcs of apartment 5108 and others too. Geez why i havent discovered you then?! Seriously for me its really hard to find fanfic that matches with my reading style gosh its pretty damn well written and you succesfully made me feel like im the character. You mess my feeling hun'. You did it. Seriously youre one of the best writer i ever known in tumblr. Im looking forward to ch 16 and others too. I hope u doing well!!!! Lots of love from your lovely readerš
Thank you so much for your kind words! Itās such a huge compliment to see you hold my writing to such a high regard and I hope this next chapter doesnāt disappoint. Iām so glad you like it and please let me know what you think of the rest of the chaps!
Anonymous said to enaasteria:
July 7th 2017, 12:45:00 pm Ā· 3 months ago
I've been following you for about a year now and DAMN HOW I LOVE YOU. Its been a year since you last updated Apartment 5108 but you still log in to check on your fans. Writers block is an ass but all you need is some inspiration and then you'll be firing away with the Seahri feels. or Ahrun feels. However you decide to ship them. Also Chanyeol is my fav and the fic you wrote called Two killsss meee. THANK YOU! Also, I'm Egyptian. Pretty cool knowing you have international readers eh?
Iām so sorry youāve had to wait so long for a chapter!!! Itās so amazing how there are international people reading this and I canāt thank you enough for your kindness and also for sending me this comment but ALSO SEAHRI. LIKE THIS KILLS ME AND ITS SO CUTE AND ADORABLE.
Anonymous said to enaasteria:
July 7th 2017, 1:56:00 pm Ā· 3 months ago
Hey Ena! Just wanted to tell you that I literally open your page every single day (its been 3 months LOL) , just to check if there's any update for apt5108, no rush but that just show how much i adore your work, i just freakin' love your story! I never felt so desperate waiting for the next chapter.. but I believe good things take a long time, and I believe your work could be one of the good things, even better the best thing!! Love, Your biggest fanš
IM SO SORRY FOR THE WAIT. I donāt know what to say other than this year has been a mess and a true struggle but I dearly wanted to write this chapter and forced myself to do it and post today. Iām so sorry if it wasnāt worth the wait but hopefully itās a good continuation to their story T____T
@sehun---addictĀ said to enaasteria:
July 20th 2017, 10:07:00 pm Ā· 3 months ago
Personally i would rather wait until you finish the story and post it in one go bcs waiting game for each chap is pure torture . Much loveā”
I wish I couldāve posted it all but 16 nearly killed me to just finish so I hope this is a good chapter to hold you off until 17 T___T
Anonymous said to enaasteria:
July 20th 2017, 10:14:00 pm Ā· 3 months ago
In reference to your tag in the previous ask- I think posting the chapters as you finish them would be preferable for me. That way I wouldn't have to wait as long for another update? But I'm wondering if writing it all and posting it generally at one point would be easier on you, so that it could kind of be one and done. Either way, I appreciate you taking the time to write this story! You are so incredibly talented and I find it so kind that you take time out of your day to write.
16 is going up soon. I hope you enjoy it and Iām so sorry for the wait. Thank you for your patience and I hope you read with low expectations because Iām a bit nervous about this chapter. Itās excruciatingly long T.T
Anonymous said to enaasteria:
July 20th 2017, 11:46:00 pm Ā· 3 months ago
please post 16 when it's finished! that way we can have a new chapter at a time to enjoy!
Itās going up!
Anonymous said to enaasteria:
July 23rd 2017, 4:47:00 am Ā· 2 months ago
I know I'm late but about the end of appartment 5018 I'm really curious about Polaris. Will it be build ? Will it be insignifiant ? I really like it so yeah that's what I'm most curious about :)
This will be addressed in 17! :D
Anonymous said to enaasteria:
August 2nd 2017, 9:53:00 pm Ā· 2 months ago
same anon who recommended moondust~~ i have another one for you ena ^^ it's the house we never built by gabrielle alpine <3 best of luck on the story!
Imma check this out after I answer these messages and add it to my playlist! Thank you so much!
@yoruu-genĀ said to enaasteria:
August 21st 2017, 1:01:00 pm Ā· a month ago
Happy Fanfic Writers Appreciation Day to my most favorite fanfic author in existence ā¤ Apt 5108 is by far the best thing I've read on this website and I look forward to continue stalking your Google Docs š I'm so thankful that you pulled me out of the writer's block abyss and I hope I won't disappoint in the future lol. Thanks for always being such a great friend and for always dying with me about our biases š
Love u lots~~
YOUUUUUU. I LOVE YOU. I also thank you so much for helping me with this chapter. You are such an inspiration and I know you feel like youāre not that great of a writer but honestly---you are one of the two I really, truly, look up to on this platform. I always enjoy your words, your stories, YOUR STRUGGLES with your biases but also so thankful for your friendship.Ā
Anonymous said to enaasteria:
August 26th 2017, 9:36:00 am Ā· a month ago
Red is my favorite fic and it impacted me so much in a way i can only be thankful. Getting away of a one-side love relationship was really a big choice i should have made before but it's really scary to do so. Reading Red helped me aknowledge what i was doing to myself after denying it for too long and i finally decided to take care of myself for once. So i'm thankful because your amazing way of using words helped me realize i should do what's better for me and no one else. Take care of yourself
Red is honestly one of my favorites too. It was so easy to write (compared to apt) hahaha and although Sehun wasnāt a good character in it, I enjoyed the progression of how real the characters were? Like---this happens in real life and not all things end happily with rainbows and butterflies. It is a struggle to see a person go through something like this but itās also a testament to their character and their willpower to walk away from it and say when theyāve had enough. I hope youāre doing well, anon.
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