#ur supposed to do that when the source material sucks

[macdenlover]

i really can not stand the “fandom is so fun we’re all just projecting and making shit up” thing. because no i actually deeply admire the canon of my favorite media and all the intention and care and craft put into it. we are not the same.

[arofili]

how’d u get into writing? like, writing fic and being part of the silm community, being Known, that stuff? i’m really new to being a silm cc and i’d love to know ur advice! also: how’d u build up the confidence to start posting meta/hcs? bc i have a Lot of hcs and meta ideas but also i’m really anxious abt posting them bc yknow anxiety is like that

these are some great questions, anon! I’m gonna go through them one by one :)

how’d u get into writing?

not to be like, super cliche, but I’ve...kind of always been a writer? as long as I can remember I’ve been telling stories, and when I was too young to read or write I would dictate them to my mom, who would type them up for me and help me choose clipart illustrations to accompany them. when I got old enough I would always be writing; I attempted my first novel at age 9, and while that never really went anywhere I did finish the darn thing and it had some pretty sophisticated plot twists for a 9-year-old!

like, writing fic

around the same time I got into fandom! I was deep into Warrior cats (like. really deep) and I believe I started writing my first fics when I was like? 10 or 11? my memory is kind of fuzzy on the order of things, but I know I got an account on the Warriors forums when I was 9, and that I was already posting my fic there when I made my FFN account. I believe I was 12 when that happened, but who knows. I haven’t the faintest idea of what happened with those forums, but uhhh pretty much all of my Warriors fic is still up on FFN lmao. you could probably find that if you want to but um...maybe don’t?

my first Big Fic was a self-insert of...my entire 5th/6th grade class into the then-current timeline of the Warriors books...well. I honestly think that might still be my most popular fic of all time l m a o though I try not to think about it because Hashtag Cringe. though as much as I look back on that time with a “yikes,” I am very grateful for the Warriors fandom in a way? that place was so accepting and encouraging of OCs, of AUs, of completely disregarding canon, of worldbuilding that is completely alien from canon - it was a fantastic sandbox to begin with, there were so many ways to write stories and practically all of them were accepted and had fellow fans invested in them!

and being part of the silm community, 

soooo I wrote Warriors fic until my freshman year of high school (wow sdjfhkdsjfh), which was when BOTFA came out, and I was absolutely wrecked by the ending and immediately started writing my own fixit fic. I was also super hooked on Kiliel! so that was my intro to the Tolkien fandom; and simultaneously, I joined tumblr, and, well, the rest is history tbh.

I honestly do not remember when I first read the Silm, but I kind of got into the more obscure parts of the Tolkien fandom through fandom osmosis, and I do have a vague memory of doodling the Finwean family tree in geometry class so it might have been later on in freshman year? that was also the same time I was having my Queer Awakening, and Russingon definitely contributed to me unlearning my internalized queerphobia, so probably around then.

anyway - queer awakening, tumblr, Tolkien, transitioning from FFN to AO3 - all of that was happening around the same time. I know I dipped my toes in the Silm fandom then, but I was still primarily a Hobbit fic writer focusing on Kiliel. toward the end of high school I kind of shifted to LOTR and (qp) Gigolas...but somehow the Silm fandom is the most active of the Big Three within the Tolkien fandom, and I was getting dragged further and further in.

it wasn’t until @backtomiddleearthmonth 2019, my freshman year of college, that I really dove into writing Silm fic! I picked some Silm-specific bingo cards and never looked back :D that was really not all that long ago but I am obsessed in a way I don’t really remember being even with TH/LOTR, I obviously cannot see the future but I anticipate hanging out here for a long time. the Silm fandom is great overall and there’s just so much material to work with!! <3

being Known, that stuff?

so I don’t really have a whole lot of context on how “well known” I am in the fandom?? definitely within the past year and a half or so I’ve noticed that I like, get asks like this, and get a significant amount of notes on my posts, and I’ve made a lot of fandom friends especially since I joined some Silm servers on Discord (hmu if you want invites; I’m on the SWG server and 2 general Silm servers and the Russingon server) this past year. and I have 3,000 followers as of this month - and while ever since I hit 1k I don’t particularly pay attention to my follower count I can definitely say that I have more engagement now than I used to! but it took me a long time to build this “audience,” I suppose; I’ve been around the Tolkien fandom since late 2014, so nearly 6 years of this, lol.

really the best way to build a following, in my experience, is to just post a lot of stuff. when I started making edits I got a lot more engagement, because for a long time I would post one every day! (I made them in batches and queued them; I didn’t actually make one every day lol...and now I’m too busy to do that, so I just make edits for events and whenever I feel like it) And I have [checks ao3] 145 works in the Silm fandom as of today - I’m fairly prolific! I’ve come to generally expect 3-10 comments on most of my oneshots, which is a lot more than I used to have back in the day. consistency and quantity are more likely to attract people to your work - and quality, of course.

also: how’d u build up the confidence to start posting meta/hcs?

I’ve been writing since I was very young, and I’ve been writing fic for like...11 years? I think? in that time I’ve produced a lot of garbage, but imo most of that was in my Warrior cats phase, so I came into the Tolkien fandom with confidence in myself and my writing. I’m also working on original fiction on the side (I hope to eventually become a published fantasy author, but right now school takes up most of my time that I don’t devote to fandom, which gives me more immediate gratification and also is just Very Fun) and I know I’m a good writer.

basically, I’ve been doing this for like...half my life, and I’m still fairly young, so I’ve had time to build up my skill and confidence and I know I’m only going to get better with time. you will get better with practice. like I said, I’ve written a lot of terrible stuff, and it’s only through sucking for a long time that I’ve gotten to the point I am now. and I am far from perfect; I know I still have lots of room to grow!

for meta and headcanons specifically, I started with writing fic, and then when I didn’t think I could stretch something into an entire fic I would just make a hc post. I have a vivid memory of writing my first meta in a notebook during driver’s ed because it was so goddamn boring and I had Thoughts about Tauriel and Thranduil!

in my experience, meta comes from having Opinions and wanting to share them and most importantly to back them up - you need to have sources! you need to have reasons! you need to have justification! otherwise it’s not meta, it’s a headcanon or an AU. which is fine!! I love hc/AU!!! but they are not the same as meta, and I’m a stickler for being accurate when it comes to meta. if you have sources and shit to back you up, that will help you build the confidence to share your meta.

sharing disinformation and passing it off as meta instead of just coming out and saying this is a headcanon/baseless theory/AU or whatever is such a fandom pet peeve of mine; it’s not bad for something to not be Accurate! you just have to have that disclaimer - and even when you’re writing meta, you’re offering an interpretation of the text, and you need to acknowledge that other interpretations also exist and are valid.

um. I hope this answers your questions? and sorry for basically word-vomiting my entire life story, lol. this post got long; the main reason I’ve written so much fic is because I really just cannot shut up for the life of me. sooo if you can tear of that filter of being shy and just. say shit. you can go so far~!

OH and one more thing - I can’t believe I almost forgot this - but part of being a writer is participating in the community. this is code for LEAVE A DAMN COMMENT IF YOU LIKE A FIC. that’s how I made most of my fandom friends before Discord! I follow @ao3feed-silmarillion and stalk that blog for new Silm fics; I read the ones that interest me and comment on them.

I know this is not really the most common way for folks to find fic but it’s so rewarding to interact with new fic, new writers, new commentors, new stories - you can find gems that don’t rise to the top of the kudos/bookmark lists; you become friends with your fellow writers; you can watch people grow and change; you support smaller content creators. yeah, you might not be getting Just The Best Stuff, but it’s so so so worth it!!

and if you make friends in the comment section of other people’s fic - I guarantee you some of them will go to your AO3 profile and check out your fic, too! and they’ll leave comments! this is a fic community, and that’s what I cherish about fandom most of all, tbh.

anyway - again - sorry for rambling so much, but I hoped this helped! feel free to send in another ask, or to come talk to me off anon if you’d like! and definitely send me your stuff if/when you decide to share it; I would love to support you!!! <3

[kitty-bandit]

Hi Kitty :) hope ur doing good. I’ve been thinking, would DGM art from Hoshino count as canon? Or is canon specifically just for story related things?

I might ruffle some feathers with my answer on this, so fair warning. ^^;;

There is a difference between Canon and Word of God. If you’re unfamiliar with the difference:

Canon is short for canonical and refers to the work as a whole. In this instance, for DGM, canon would be the manga and (to some extent) the anime series.

Word of God is what fandom calls any information given to us by the creator(s) (and for DGM, that would be Hoshino).

Fandom can argue over and over again until its out of breath and blue in the face about what is or is not considered canon. Some people argue that Word of God should be counted as canon material, but I don’t believe it should–at least not in absolute terms.

I consider canon material for DGM to be the manga and, to a lesser extent, the anime. Anything in fanbooks, interviews, or social media is not canon. Now, I can already hear everyone screaming at me saying “But, Kitty! Hoshino said it! It must be true!” So hear me out.

The separation between Word of God and canon starts to get murky when you move from one author to multiple ones–specifically when you get into movies and television, which has multiple people working on a single project.

Hoshino mostly has control of her manga. (I say mostly only because editors can have a final say in some aspects of censoring, but there is no telling what she might have had to change due to those circumstances.) But the anime is different. It has a producer, directors, artists, etc. who are all interpreting Hoshino’s original canon work. And those interpretations can differ from the original canon.

“Wait!” you say, “What about fanbooks! And her insta! Hoshino has control of those!”

And I agree; she does. But there are two big reasons why I don’t consider Word of God to be canon.

1. Not everyone has access to Word of God. If you were to pick up a movie or book and consumed the media beginning to end, you would be satisfied. You’ve completed the story arc. You move on. I know it’s hard to believe in an age where internet exists and we have access to creator’s twitters/tumblrs/instas/FBs, but it was not always the case. And again, not everyone will follow every single creator that they’ve consumed media for.

Which means that a person’s canon will differ if they have or have not consumed Word of God content. If you consider Word of God as canon, then someone who is not following every single person who has worked on a TV show/movie/book, doesn’t have the whole picture. Where as if you consider canon only to be the source material, then we’re all working with the same deck of cards.

Specifically for DGM, I’m betting most people don’t know about the Reverse Novels. Some people in the DGM fandom consider these canon, but it leaves out a large swath of fandom who has never actually encountered them or even knew of their existence. The trouble with the Reverse Novels is that they were not written by Hoshino, though they were authorized by her. Also, they’re in Japanese (obviously) and never received official translations. It’s almost impossible to find them now, let alone get a translation. The same holds true for the fanbooks. How can we count a second hand source as canon when it’s not accessible to the majority of the (non-Japanese speaking) fandom? And how can we trust that the translation is correct?

2. Word of God frequently contradicts Canon. If any of you have follow JKRowling’s twitter, you might know what I’m talking about. Word of God is unreliable, and can completely come out of the blue. It can contradict canon events and even make you question what the author was thinking. But there’s another part of Word of God that makes it difficult to pin down–when there are multiple creators.

This usually happens with big movie/TV franchises. Multiple writers/producers/directors/etc. all putting their own spin on canon. And sometimes, actors even get sucked into it. (C’mon people, we all remember what happened to the V L D fandom. The cast and crew are still getting harassed by fans to this day. It was a nightmare.) What Word of God amounts to then is headcanons that are given clout because someone is working on the project. But as we all know, no one has the same headcanons as someone else 100% of the time, which leads to contradicting information and shouting matches about who is right and who is wrong. And this leaves fandoms in chaos after the face, squabbling over ship wars and other dumb things.

With Hoshino, again, we see less of this. But one instance came to mind with some official merch a year (or was it two?) back. The infamous KandAbs poster that came out after Hallow debuted. Hoshino wrote a post on her previous insta about how she didn’t approve of the poster, which had hella Yu//en vibes. The incident was the reason she deleted her first instagram account, but has since remade it (thank goodness). But this illustrates the issue with Word of God contradicting canon. An official poster was seen as an official stance, then decried by the author. What are we supposed to believe then?

Taking Word of God as canon comes with a host of problems. I’m not here to tell people that they can’t enjoy Hoshino’s insta, or take what she says to heart and call it canon if they want.

All I’m saying is that I don’t want people arguing over what is or is not canon when it comes to Word of God information. You can consume and enjoy that content. You can consider it canon in your own view of the works. But I will not call it canon.

[mylittleannoyingthots]

I thought I was finding myself becoming what I fear the most: a tumblr emo.

After my “intense” breakup and all that, I was dming the cheatee and I told her “btw, I love your poetry” or something along those lines.

I hated her poetry. It lit a fire inside me because of how much it fucking sucked. Tbh it didn’t really suck, but I’d probably seen the same thing i read in her stanzas 11,000 times in quotes in 2013, not to mention the use of all these stupid ass greek god metaphors and literary prose that half her following probably can’t even understand aside from “i sad my gf broke up wif me sad face”. I hate poetry.

And more than I hate poetry, I hate tumblr poetry—I hate rupi kaur type poetry, aka the poetry of barely-legal kids thinking they’re “broken”. I hate the redundancy of heartbroken words of people who are too fucking caught up in love stories that lack depth. You see someone who is quirky or lonesome and you fall in love with them. Others want what they have because they drank a milkshake with two straws in a picture. You want to get married and be bonnie & clyde. You wanna shower them in material affection and gifts so much ,haaaa typical couple shit, and don’t wanna stop talking about yourself for five minutes to get a real look at them. You’re so caught up in the imaginary idea you have of someone, labeling them as pure and soft and sweet because you don’t want to look at them. You don’t /see/ them. They aren’t transparent to you. That’s why the shit goes over your head so easily. Even if you break the glass layers there will always be a stone wall where you just cant break through as you don’t fully examine them both inside and out. Months later (or years, if lucky) they break ur heart. Someone comes along and the cycles repeats. These tumblr poets can’t break the curse. I also can’t because I’m mentally ill but that’s besides the point. I mean these bitches think taylor swift is the epitome of spoken word so I have to be at least a notch above. They will not listen to anyone else because they were “promised to be by their love’s side”. Vomit. Who cares fr it happens. Yeah u can be hurt but this bullshit aint cuttin’ it.

These kids don’t know what love is. I don’t either but I know I don’t want bullshit that hurts me, and I sure as hell won’t find myself wanting to crawl back into the arms that caused me pain. I get that people suffer that, but the sick culprit is constant over-romanticization of people wanting to frolic in the meadows, feed each other strawberries, live in a cottage together, smoke each other’s cigarette in a puff-puff-pass motion to get the romantic saliva off each other’s butt. Though i’m also guilty of it, it all makes me sick. Not only the blatantly robotic actions that kids have grown to shallowly know because their favs did it in a music video once, but also how much it is causing people to realize...they’re not in love. They don’t want to be lonely. They don’t want to hurt alone, and when rhey realize they don’t feel a spark they keep losing, they still seem to crave the feeling of someone needing them. Someone not being able to live without them. They crave strange destructive tendencies and causing pain to others.

Sometimes this bullshit that media caused makes me want to revert to primitive measures. Ya’know, sex for reproduction and hunting to survive and feed the young the whole damn nine. I wouldn’t mind as the mind games of feeling like you’re supposed to fall apart at the realization you’re being cheated on because GUESS WHAT??? YOU HEARD IT IN A FUCKING SONG are really fucking annoying. I don’t like my brain being wired to think the end of the world is someone being a fucking idiot, as we are all fucking idiots. Stop putting other fucking idiots on pedestals.

Instead of seeking out thrilling, short-lived relationships and one of the two writing and self-sabotaging it all away as a result, get a fucking therapist how bout that? You can google shitty tattooists for every heartbreak you face so why cant you just do the same for rebuilding your shattered pride??? I just don’t get it.

Of course, I say all of this not to discourage those who want an emotional outlet, but all of this needs to be nipped in the bud straight from the source, which is romanticization. Seeing the world through rosy lenses in A-OK, but seeing it that way because and ONLY because of how one person makes you feel constantly is a recipe for disaster.

[itcowcer]

Subject: Pumpkin Patch

Subject: Pumpkin Patch

Paul Holland paulyh@gmail.net 2:05 AM (6 hours ago) to Mark

Heeeeey Mark!

So I know it's been a while, and I wanted to give you a quick heads-up on what’s going on and why I haven’t sent any drafts in recent history. Let's be real, it’s been months. But I want you to know that I haven't just been laying around over here, and that I do have something planned to give to you. It's just not ready yet. Sorry :( Now I'm not trying to tease you; I've hit a wall. What I do have is a bunch of source materials which (I hope) will prove to you that I'm building something, potentially pretty big, for my next novel. That's Right!!!! I've been researching Mark!!!! Who would've thought I knew how. Anyways, I thought this might tide you over until the rough draft or, at the most, spur you to send some seed money..... ;) You will find the sources in the subsequent attachments to this email. I think they kind of speak for themselves, but if you need me to elaborate on what I'm thinking just shoot me a message and I will give you deets.

Pleasure as always [?]

Paul

Paul Holland paulyh@gmail.net 2:56 AM (5 hours ago) to Mark

Whoops! I forgot to attach the sources in that last message. Oh well, I will take better care to attach them this time. I figure I should go ahead and let you know what's going through my head right now, just so we are on the same page. First off, all of this is real. All of this stuff has apparently occurred or is currently occurring, and I've been able to pick up more bits and pieces the longer I've stayed in town (hence the long turn around). Where am I? I don't particularly want to tell you. For that reason I've redacted some information which might clue you into my whereabouts. I'm sure with a certain amount of cyber- sleuthing you'd be able to pinpoint my location, as some of the major points I just cannot change. However by that point I figure it will be too much work for you anyways. DO NOT COME AFTER ME! This story is too good for me to pass up on. I'm only messaging you as a courtesy, and to let you know that I haven't forgotten the money I owe you. I will hopefully be able to pay you back with this novel's completion.

Now onto content. I found this story, of all places, in the newspaper. Yeah it was this grotesque murder which had all of the city community in a hubbub. It was strange too, like ritualistic and such. I've included the short blurb I found in the newspaper, it should be the 3rd attachment. Of course I saved it. I wasn't sure where to go next with my writing and everyone loves true crime or at least a good murder mystery. Then, in the next week, I saw a couple other odd articles (I have attached them as well). One is a letter of resignation from one of the news paper's journalists, due to some kind of journalist ethical concern. Apparently he hasn’t been heard of since. Like completely disappeared. For some reason I was sure that the initial murder, and the later disappearance were related, though I couldn't figure how.

This forced me to dig a little further and I think what I found is captivating at least. Even if I'm grasping at straws I think it tells a compelling narrative, and might sell. I found a small interview, written by the Journalist that disappeared, in regards to a cultural movement within the city. As it turns out this place has a long history of creepy shit, like underground slave prisons, civil war ghosts, a history of catastrophic fires, train accidents, macabre poets, dilapidated asylums turned apartment complexes, and even a vampire legend. No kidding! The guy is entombed down at this old cemetery that overlooks the river. Well the interview is with a member of this group of artists, all of whom were trying to keep this inherent creepiness a part of the city's culture. Though she went by a code name, as all members of Pumpkin Patch do to remain anonymous (in this case kittykat666(=^.^=). I believed that she was the victim in the murder. Having contacted the victim’s parents, I asked if they knew anything about the group Pumpkin Patch. Only the mother would respond, with an invitation to meet with her. Though the meeting was brief, she gave me a series of her daughter's journal entries, a forwarded set of emails between her and her daughter on the topic, and permission to use these things in publishing my next book, so long as I didn't use her daughter's name.

 The first attachment is the newspaper interview with kittykat666(=^.^=) It describes really well what the group is about, and how it operates, and it shows you where I'm leaning for main characters (the girl and the journalist). I think it introduces everything well. The second is the girl's journal entries (at least the ones I've deemed relevant). All of these pertain to Pumpkin Patch and they really get you to see who this poor girl was and how she got sucked into this whole mess. The next attachment is the first article blurb I found, the one that describes the murder. The fourth attachment is the letter of resignation from the journalist who interviewed “Kat”. I figure I will just forward those emails that the mother sent to me. There aren't many of them, however there is some character building stuff there. You can see the loving family “Kat” and her mother had before. They also show how the two found Pumpkin Patch. Sorry in advance, the mother has no clue of grammar. I have also included one last attachment, which is unnerving and chilling when you understand how the group finds its inspiration. It's a series of screen shots I took from the group’s auction site. Here, they post a bunch of their work for buyers. They had just posted a new auction when I checked out the site page. Pay attention to the groups shared theme in the artwork.

Whew! That was a lot for an email! Let me know what you think! Paul

Paul Holland paulyh@gmail.net 2:59 AM (5 hours ago) to Mark

-_____-

Paul

Attachment 1, Attachment 2, Attachment 3, Attachment 4, Attachment 5 

 Paul Holland paulyh@gmail.net 3:08 AM (5 hours ago) to Mark

Weird. Someone just rang the door bell to my apartment. I went to go check and no one was there. I'm a little unnerved, especially given what I've just sent you (that subject matter which is still fresh in my mind). I'm not entirely sure it's nothing, but realistically it’s probably nothing so I'm going to get these emails to you and then cool off. Here you go,

Paul

forwarded message

From: [************] To: paulyh@gmail.net Cc: Sent: [, * *** **** ::**] Subject: opportunities ;)

Hey Kit Kat i hope everything is going better. i know that finding friends can be rough in college but im sure there are a ton of great clubs over there. Just get off your little butt and look!!!! :p only teasing. Also your father should be put that money back into ur college fund. Evidently he needed to buy his new gal pal a car lol. The man's no good! Either way i will make sure everything is all set, u just worry about school work and meeting people and HAVING FUN!!! Let me know if you need anything, im just a phone call away!!!

Love, Mom

. . .

Resp:opportunities ;)

Thanks Mom. Everything is fine, I was just a little worried because the tuition bill is overdue and it needs to be paid in order for me to sign up for classes next semester. He's buying her a CAR!!!!! SMH! SMDH! But my classes are going well. I actually turned in my first couple of paintings and the professor really liked them. He told me I thought out of the box, already had a unique style, and that I should keep pushing myself. He said that I might run into trouble when we start doing other forms, but that he'd help me if I need it. I thought that the class wouldn't like my work or be weirded out, but all in all I got good responses and helpful critiques. Some people in my class invited me to hangout, idk I might go.

. . .

Resp:resp:opportunities ;)

Oh kitty thats great! im glad your classes are going well. And you should SPEND TIME WITH THOSE CLASSMATES!!! Jeeesh!!! Also i am not sure what SMH stands for. i tried to think but cant. :( i did some looking because i knew u wouldnt and i found a club that you might enjoy. They are artists in the area who have auction events, have group meetings and they seem to do a lot in the area. it might be the kind of thing to set u on an art career, if thats what u want to do. i just happened to hear about them and i looked up their site. A lot of their work looks right up ur alley! There is a submission section on their page, and maybe u can send in some of you drawings? i was surprised by how much they were selling for, and i think a lot of ur work is better. I will send you the link. There called the Pumpkin Patch. Thats kinda cute!

Love ya! Mom

. . .

Resp:resp:resp:opportunities ;)

Yeah I'll look it up and send something in. I'll also try hanging out with my class, I'm not sure what we will be doing. Thank you for everything. Love you Too! P.s. SMH is Shaking My Head.

forwarded message

From: [************] To: paulyh@gmail.net Cc: Sent: [, * *** **** ::**] Subject: Pumpkin Patch

Remember that group you were talking about? Pumpkin Patch. I submitted one of my works and it got accepted. I think you'd remember the one, it had that spider made out of sewing needles and thimbles, strung up in a wire web, the one that I got an award for in school. The group admin sent me an email and wanted to know why I wanted to join the group so I kinda bullshitted an answer and I guess they liked it. I'm supposed to go to a meeting with them, however I have to wear a mask and create an artist name which is kind of weird. I guess they want all the artists to be anonymous even to each other. I told them that that made me uncomfortable, but they assured me that the meeting will be on campus. I'm going to see what it is and drop it if its too sketch. I guess most meetings are online, but bimonthly meetings are in person.

. . .

Resp:Pumpkin Patch

Kit Kat. Idk this sounds a little scary. i wish i had known all that before i sent you the link. Be careful there are a lot of weirdos out there and i dont want u to get hurt. u are a grown women and i hope you will use you best discretion. There is always your classmates, and maybe starting a group with them would be better for you. How did that go with them? I expect you to call me soon.

Be safe, Mom

. . .

Resp:resp:Pumpkin Patch

Please don't freak out but I ended up going to that meeting. It was cool though. We kind of just sat around, discussing what the next theme will be, what scary movies we like that kind of thing. We also planned a little get together at a museum. There are a couple other girls there so I think it's fine. I kind of know one of the people in the group too, although I'm not supposed to. He was actually one of the guys I hung out with last week. He's not in my art class but he is a year above us so everyone knows him. He sort of let it slip that he was in the Pumpkin Patch when we were all hanging out. He assured me that it wasn't going to be weird and that the mask thing was more like a gimmick than anything else, to make the group interesting. That night with my class was fun too, we just sat around a fire pit talking, eating hot dogs, sharing stories. Somebody had a guitar and they all started singing these old songs. They are a good group. I'm going to spend time with them again.

. . .

Resp:resp:resp:Pumpkin Patch

Well im glad that you had a good time. Just remember to be careful, and that u dont have to do anything u dont want to, and CALL YOUR MOTHER. Also im glad you met some nice people. Is there anyone I should be meeting anytime soon? ;)

Please call, I worry Mom

forwarded message

From: [************] To: paulyh@gmail.net Cc: Sent: [, * *** **** ::**] Subject: What's Up!!!

Hello Kathryn? Im not sure if you remember me, however im YOUR MOTHER! What's been going on? u haven't called me in a while. I hope you've started thinking about housing for next year. Dont worry about the price its all being paid for by ur father. Also I see that you have another exhibition thingy coming up with your Pumpkin Patch. Im thinking about coming down and rooting u on, seeing as u failed to mention the last one. What do you think?

. . .

Resp:What's Up!!!

Yeah I've been looking at some places. Some friends and I are thinking about getting an apartment together a little off campus. I will let you know what we find. Also that first exhibition wasn't a big thing, and I didn't think you'd want to miss work for it. This next one's not a big deal either and I'm not even going to be there, we aren't supposed to associate with or present our work in order to retain the whole aura of mystery. We can still check it out if you want, we just can't let anyone know that I'm a collaborating artist. Also I can't tell you which work is mine, sorry. :/ We can go to this nice little french restaurant after. I just went there recently with a close friend of mine, it just might be my favorite place in town now :3. Let me know when you're in the area.

forwarded message

From: [************] To: paulyh@gmail.net Cc: Sent: [, * *** **** ::**] Subject: New Exhibition

Hey Mom, I know that there is another exhibition coming up, however I'd prefer that you didn't come to this one. I had fun last time, it's just that I don't think I'd be comfortable with you being there. Also I've decide to leave the group. I just didn't like where it was going and it didn't feel the same as when we first started. That's part of the reason why this latest exhibition would be no good. Also things are falling through at the apartment so I'm trying to find another one for the rest of the semester. I'll send you the places I've found. So far the rent will only be slightly more expensive. Also my roommates already have someone lined up to sublet so we don't have to worry about paying for two places. I will call you soon, and I love you.

Kat

Mark Gergich mgergich@gmail.net 7:13 AM (1 hour ago) to Paul

Paul,

I just read through everything you’ve emailed me. The forwards, the attachments... everything. Paul Pick up the phone, let me know where you are, I am concerned. I think you may have stumbled onto something that needs to be taken care of by the police. Please Paul. Do not write this book. Don't worry about debts you think you owe me, I'm not worried about that I just want you to come out of this safely without a target on your back. You need to STOP writing this book.

Your friend and publisher, Mark

Paul Holland paulyh@gmail.net 8:06 AM (3 Minutes ago) to Mark

Mark,

He says I can’t.

Paul

[valorousowl]

if u believe in kin u believe theres no such thing as fiction, or skill in creating fiction like art & literature, u believe it just happened. u believe art & lit dont belong to creators, but 2 kin of it & its aus. u believe u have more a right to police the fandom than the creators. u believe ur the only authority on whats allowed 2 be drawn/written/talked about in fandom. its all a power trip. its not to make ppl feel better. its bc theyre manipulative brats. they hide it well. playing victims

and you’re on anon, I should believe anything you say why? Although I think I know who it is already. I’m going to reiterate a few things here because on anon you are a waste of my time. If you were off, you and I could speak of this privately, I’ve said recently I’m against majority of callouts because they’re driven by personal agendas and grievances (and gatekeeping) rather than any kind of betterment to the group. But you’re on anon so that tells me A) you’re not going to stand by your words publically so already they’re meaningless and B) you’re joining this kinhate hype train out of spite. 

I make Original concept works as well as AUs, UAs, and fanworks. I know the feeling of having your art stolen. I know it sucks and it feels invalidating. 

But if a few people making this shitty world better for themselves in a small way that does not change ANYTHING about where your art came from or who made it, you’re honestly just being petty. Because how many text posts and anecdotes from REAL PEOPLE’S LIVES go  viral and get tagged with #me #this is so me #this just happened to me when it didn’t? 

And honestly, if you don’t want people to use it? don’t post it? Do not? you can make plenty of shit and not post it? Are we really going to condone the path of Anne Rice? Like yeah it sucks and there are things people should never do. But considering ESPECIALLY the nature of AUS we’re already perverting the source material. We don’t really get to complain when people do it to us when we ignore the creators. It’s why I don’t post a lot of AE content anymore, because I put my heart and soul into world building and filling gaps, and lazy writing from temps and forced heteronormativity have really ruined a lot of things in universe but there’s not really anything to do about it because a lot of stuff is just ignored or looked down upon by the devs and the fandom. And that’s a damn shame honestly. So the majority I didn’t post and instead turned my energies to making my own stuff. Fandom is supposed to fill the gaps in source work. But when that fails you make your own original stuff instead. Because again, with fandom it’s a line of command with the creator at the very top, not that people remember that when the creator doesn’t agree with every little thing they say.

And to end? Like that’s a really, really presumptuous and pretentious attitude you got there. between that and spelling I can’t imagine you have much that anyone would interact with, much less kin with. Like oh, if I think kin people exist I have to agree with every last little thing they say? I think Christian people exist and I don’t agree with a damn word from any of them. Do you see how that logic doesn’t follow? Creative writing and art is an escape from reality, we make it for ourselves and others to enjoy and you have to let it go and understand people are going to  experience it and appreciate it in their own ways and we have absolutely no control of that, nor should we. Art is meant to connect people, to evoke feeling and to unite people on some level. It is the epitome of the human experience in physical form. And it can take any form be is scientifical, traditional, digital, with words or pictures and so many other things. To see it as something to be controlled or only consumed in one way is just, not possible. 

Also, if you think people define their own lives, selves and realities is any way policing or power tripping, you may have a misunderstanding on what individuality is, pal. I’ve wasted enough words on you though. You’re probably not even an artist or a writer or anything, just a nasty little troll that has fun screaming through your keyboard. It’s been fun though. Well, see you.