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the-badger-mole · 2 years

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There is, I think, a universal sense of guilt among fic writers that we feel when we find ourselves hitting a wall with a story (or two, or three). In spite of the knowledge that we aren't being paid, aren't being held to anyone's schedule but our own, it feels bad when we let a story sit for a long time. I've had several stories like this, but the one that left me feeling guiltiest was The Djinn Dilemma.

I started that story in 2012, and it was one of my most popular stories. I never intended to abandon it, but I got to a certain point, and I couldn't figure out how to move the plot forward in the direction I wanted it to go in. So, I took a break from it and worked on a different story. Then that story was finished and I tried to go back to Dilemma, but the words still wouldn't come. So, I decided to continue my break. In the meantime, I worked on other stories. I think I started and completed 7 full length, multi-chapter fics, and a lot of one-shots in the meantime, which is how I justified leaving other stories like Dilemma and a couple of others to gather dust. In the back of my mind, though, those stories just sat there expectantly, telling me that I was letting a lot of people down by not completing them (my stories get a bit megalomaniacal when they're guilt tripping me). I was still receiving occasional comments on Dilemma in particular, asking when I was going to complete it, or if I had abandoned it.

In the grand scheme, I know that completing my unfinished stories isn't end all, be all. Fanfic writing is supposed to be a fun hobby, and I guess I had put too much pressure on my incomplete stories so revisiting them just felt like wallowing in my own failure (I also tend to get dramatic when I'm guilt tripping myself). It wasn't fun. So, my stories got laid to the side while I wrote the stories that were still fun for me. Finally, though, I sat down and reopened Dilemma and suddenly, I knew exactly what was going to happen and how to get there (though, full disclosure, I'd written the ending years ago). It was fun again! And now it's finished.

What I want to share from this experience is that it's okay to step away from something and pick it back up later. If you're writing a fanfic and the prospect of a couple dozen chapters seems daunting, it's okay to set it down. The beauty of fanfic is that it's mostly for yourself. It's great when other people get enjoyment out of it, and Lord knows I love getting paid in attention and praise, but at the end of the day, it's your story that you're choosing to share with other like-minded people. There are no deadlines. There's no payment advance, no editor demanding chapters. It's just you, your imagination, and forum to post your story. It's never too late to come back and finish a story. And if your original audience has moved on, well, maybe you'll find a new one. Or maybe you'll decide you don't want to finish the story after all. Either way, it's alright. If it's not fun for you anymore, let it go until it's fun again.

#fanfic #writing is hard #atla #sailor moon #zutara #usagi mamoru #wips #writers' commiseration #THE YEAR OF CONTENT!!!!

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sailorsenshigifs · 6 months

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