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wolfpackimagines14 · 4 years

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Lizzie Swan - Chapter 1

Word Count - 1.8k

A/N: thanks for being so patient! Paul isn’t in this chapter (he probably won’t be in the next one either). Also I didn’t proof read this so be warned!

“Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you. Happy birthday dear Bella, happy birthday to you,” Dad and I sang to Bella. I had woken up early this morning to make her pancakes for breakfast. Dad had insisted on the candles and the song, even though I tried to convince him that she would hate it.

“Guys,” Bella sighed. “I told you I didn’t want you to make a big deal out of my birthday.”

“Bella, you’re 18!” Dad replied to her dismayed attitude. “How can we not make a big deal out of it?”

“Ugh…” she groaned and pulled her covers up over her head.

“I tried to stop him,” I laughed, trying to pull the covers back.

“Not hard enough, apparently,” she playfully glared at me.

“Whatever, Bells,” I replied. “Just eat the damn pancakes I woke up 30 minutes early to make for you. You know how much I hate waking up early.”

“....thank you Lizzie,” she finally agreed to come out from under her blanket sanctuary to eat the pancakes I had made.

“You’re welcome!” I grinned at her. “Okay I’m gonna go get ready for school now!”

I left our dad to stumble his way awkwardly through giving Bella the presents that him and Renee had gotten her. Despite her living with us for nine months now, he was still just as awkward when he was forced to show that he cared.

We had definitely grown closer since Bella had moved to Forks to live with us. I wasn’t sure I had wanted her to move in at first, but having a full time sister had actually been really great. For the first 12 years of my life, Bella would come to Forks for one month during the summer. While I had enjoyed those visits for the most part, you could always tell that Bella hated it here. She’s always been easy to read and the disdain on her face when she would arrive in Forks was always apparent.

But starting in 2002, all of Bella’s complaining lead to our dad and her spending two weeks vacationing in California together instead. I had been invited, but I’d chosen not to go. Not because I didn’t want to, but because my mother was sick back in Forks.

When I was nine years old, my mother was diagnosed with breast cancer. She’d had to get a mastectomy, but even that combined with the chemotherapy hadn’t been enough to save her. Things turned for the worst in 2004 and mom was tired after fighting so hard for five years. She passed away that year and not even eight months later, Bella had moved to Forks full time.

And though the changes had been tough, going to therapy had really helped. My dad had forced me to go and though it had helped, you don’t easily get over the death of a parent and the sad moments really do still hit me to this day.

But having Bella around more often really allowed us to get closer and I truly do love her. She was difficult to be around sometimes though. And she spent literally all her time with her boyfriend, Edward Cullen. Edward was nice enough, a little distant though.

“Lizzie?” I was interrupted from my thoughts when I heard Bella call my name from downstairs. “Are you ready? I’m leaving now and unless you want Charlie to drive you to school in the cruiser I suggest you move it along.”

“Just a second!” I called downstairs, now rushing to finish getting ready. Nothing was more embarrassing than driving around in dad’s police cruiser. I grabbed my sweatshirt and pulled it over my head before grabbing my backpack and rushing down the stairs and out the door.

The ride to school was quiet, but pleasant. I didn’t want to bother Bella with any more birthday talk and I had to review my notes for AP Chemistry in case of a pop quiz. It was only the second week of school and that class was already kicking my ass.

After parking her monstrous truck in the school parking lot, we were almost immediately bombarded by Alice Cullen.

“Happy birthday, Bella!” she exclaimed eagerly and I rolled my eyes at Bella when she shushed her. I found it amusing when Alice just ignored her and continued her assault. “Do you want to open your present now or later?”

“No presents,” Bella mumbled in response.

“Okay so later then!” Alice kept talking, not thrown off by Bella’s mood at all. “Did you like the scrapbook your mom sent you? And the camera from Charlie and Lizzie?”

Damn, how did she know about that already? Bella must’ve texted her about it I guess.

I looked down at my notes again as Edward approached us and greeted Bella.

“Lizzie,” Edward greeted me politely. “How are you?”

“Fine,” I answered, glancing up at him for a second. “You?”

“Fine,” he repeated my short, but pleasant answer. “Studying for Mrs. Cooper’s class?”

“Yeah,” I sighed. “There might be a pop quiz today and I just want to be prepared.”

“Always good to be prepared,” he nodded in agreement. “But between you and I, I overheard her talking about having the pop quiz on Thursday.”

“Really?” I asked. “Are you sure?”

“Positive,” he nodded at me.

“Oh thank god!” I exclaimed. “I was not prepared for that quiz.”

“So what time are you two coming over tonight?” Alice interrupted us.

“I didn’t know I was coming over tonight,” Bella replied, definitely as confused as I was.

“Oh come on, Bella!” she complained. “We’ve been planning this party for forever!”

“I didn’t even know about it!” Bella exclaimed.

“Well now you do! Lizzie, can you come?” Alice turned her attention to me.

“I can’t,” I sighed, genuinely bummed out. “I have to work tonight. Plus I have to study for that pop quiz on Thursday.”

I worked as a waitress at The Lodge, one of the only formal sit down restaurants in Forks. I made pretty decent money and I was saving up to buy a car for when I turned 16 next year.

“I should get to class,” I interrupted Alice before she could make any excuses for me not to go to work. I really needed the money. “Thank you for the invite though.”

I quickly made my way to my first period class. Even though I was only a sophomore, school was tough. Between all my classes, my job at The Lodge, and my soccer schedule starting up soon I was really stretch out thin. But luckily my best friend, Jenny, was in practically all of my classes.

The day went by fairly quickly. Edward was right, there wasn’t a pop quiz in AP Chem, but there was one in Spanish. We were playing badminton in gym and my team had gone undefeated all class. Soccer tryouts were this afternoon; Jenny and I were really hoping to make the varsity team, but the odds weren’t in our favor because we were only sophomores. And work was pretty busy for a Tuesday night, which was good for me because the busier it is, the more tips I make. Luckily Jenny had already turned 16 and she had her license so she could drive me from soccer to the restaurant.

I got home late and was heating myself up some dinner when Bella walked through the front door of the house, sporting a new bandage on her arm.

“What’d you do this time?” I teasingly asked her.

“I tripped,” she muttered before making her way through the living room and up the stairs, greeting Charlie on the way.

“She’s gotta be more careful,” I told Dad as I brought my plate into the living room to watch the rest of the game with him. He just grunted in response, too engrossed in the game to continue the conversation.

The next few days were weird. Edward wasn’t around as much and Alice no longer greeted us in the parking lot at school in the mornings. I didn’t mention anything to Bella, not wanting to upset her.

I had made the varsity soccer team, but Jenny hadn’t. She was happy for me, but she was still upset and I couldn’t blame her for that. Edward had been right and on Thursday I had a pop quiz in AP Chem. I wanted to thank him for the heads up, but he wasn’t even at school that day and when I asked Bella where he was, she said she didn’t know. Which was weird because Bella always knows where Edward is.

I got home from work on Friday and was immediately bombarded by my dad.

“Have you seen Bella at all?” he asked me frantically.

“Not since this morning when we drove to school,” I answered cautiously. “I had soccer practice after school and Jenny drove me to work after.”

“She hasn’t been home in hours and she’s not answering her phone,” he was definitely panicking now. I was starting to get worried too. It was almost 10:30pm and it was a long time for her to be out without contacting us. “She left a note that she was going for a walk with Edward in the woods.”

“Have you tried calling the Cullens?” I suggested.

“No answer,” he sighed. “I’m calling the guys and putting together a search party.”

In less than an hour, there were police officers and Dad’s friends from the reservation in our backyard. Even Jacob and Billy Black were here. It had been awhile since I’d seen them, but this wasn’t the way I wanted to reunite with them.

People were searching for hours and I was really getting worried. Where the hell was she? It was approaching 3 in the morning now.

“What if we don’t find her?” I teared up as I talked to Jacob.

“We’ll find her,” he reassured me, pulling me into a hug.

It was at that moment that I saw Sam Uley, one of the older guys from the reservation come out of the woods. He was shirtless and was carrying Bella in his arms. She looked like she was passed out in his arms.

“Oh my god!” I exclaimed, running across the yard with my dad right on my heels. “Is she okay?”

“She’s fine,” Sam reassured me. “Just a little shaken up.”

My dad insisted on carrying her the rest of the way to the house, despite his back having been bothering him lately.

“Thank you,” I told Sam sincerely before hugging him. Wow, he was really warm considering the cool weather right now. “Thank you for finding her.”

“No problem,” he replied gruffly before turning to go talk to Billy. I ran to catch up with my dad and helped him by opening the front door for him so he could carry Bella inside.

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@ravenmoore14

@k-n-e

#paul lahote #paul lahote imagine #paul lahote imagines #twilight #twilight imagines #twilight imagine #wolfpack #wolfpack imagine #wolfpack imagines #writing #fanfiction

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let-it-raines · 5 years

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Rising from the Ashes (7/?)

Summary: When her husband died, Emma wasn’t sure that she could ever move on. He left her with a broken heart and a baby who was only three-months old. It’s enough to take most people down, to make them not want to keep going, but Emma Swan isn’t most people. She’s stronger than she has any right to be. And after years of heartache, she’s found ways to move on…one of those being in Neal’s best friend, Killian Jones. As she’s always known, however, things are more complicated than they ever seem to be.

Rating: Mature

A/N: I’m just going to apologize for this chapter. I am bracing myself for the yelling, but, really, when you think about it, this has been coming since the beginning. And it’ll also get us where we need to go. Remember that happy ending thing, right? I promise that always!

Shout out to @thejollyroger-writer because she wanted feelings ;)

Double “-/-” around the flashback!

Found on AO3: Beginning | Current

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Tag list: @artistic-writer @cs-forlife @qualitycoffeethings @resident-of-storybrooke @captainsjedi @captswanis4vr @teamhook @ekr032-blog-blog @mayquita @bmbbcs4evr @wellhellotragic @kmomof4 @jennjenn615 @onceuponaprincessworld @shady-swan-jones @snowbellewells @snow-into-ash @andiirivera @mariakov81 @thejollyroger-writer @shireness-says @kristi555 @facesiousbutton82 @superchocovian @jonirobinson64

Emma moves her hands in front of her face before pulling them away and opening her lips into a smile while she gasps. Ada immediately giggles, and claps her hands together, her sign that she wants Emma to do it again. So she does. “Peek-a-boo,” she giggles, continuously moving her hands back and forth while Ada’s eyes scrunch up and her dimples show. She gets those from Killian. Most of her face has really started to look like Killian in the past week, but her coloring is all Emma. Genetics can be so fickle and weird.

“Peek-a-boo,” she repeats as the sound of the running water stops, Killian obviously finishing his shower. He’s usually pretty quick, but he’s been in there for much longer than usual even without the music he sometimes plays. “Yeah, here’s Momma. Momma’s right here, Ada bug. See, she’s not going anywhere.”

Ada coos in between her giggles before she decides to lay down on her back and bring her feet to her mouth, which she prefers over literally every toy she and Killian have bought. It figures. How can you get better than feet?

Okay, so that makes it sound like she has a foot fetish when really, she’s just talking about how weird babies are.

Emma moves to lay down on her stomach on the carpet, straightening out Ada’s play rug and gently moving Ada onto her stomach as well. If they can get tummy time out of the way now, she won’t have to deal with it later. Ada is so close to rolling over on her own. She just needs a little more time to get it. She’s six months old as of three days ago, and Emma had absolutely sobbed after Killian had left for work and taken Henry to school.

Sobbed.

She had been miserable, not wanting to accept that her baby was that old, and she’d let herself cry over it for a few minutes until she felt so exhausted that she simply couldn’t cry anymore. She had no idea why it affected her so much, why it’s still affecting her. She remembers being sad when Henry had turned six months, but it was an entirely different kind of sadness over realizing that her baby was going to grow up without a father and she’d be facing all of these milestones alone. Now she’s sad that time seems to be passing by so quickly.

And soon her baby won’t be a baby anymore, Henry will be a teenager, and then he’ll be moving out of the house and getting married.

Wow, okay. She’s got to cool down her thoughts before she does something crazy like spiral. The past few months of her life have pretty much been a constant struggle to keep herself from spiraling.

After she’s got Ada all situated on her mat, putting toys around her to make sure she can attempt to reach them, she hears the bathroom door open and Killian walks out with just his boxers on as he tilts his head to the side and dries his hair with a towel. It’s…it’s a sight she’s seen nearly every single day for years, but it always takes her breath away. He always takes her breath away in so many ways, but honestly, right now, she’s especially thankful for the way he still finds time to sometimes run on his lunch breaks or early in the mornings before work.

She’d feel the same way about him if he just sat on his ass during his lunch breaks, but she’s not blind. She can appreciate the lean muscles of his body and the way dark hair is spread out over his chest and down his flat stomach. She can also appreciate the way his boxer briefs cling to his thighs and his cock, the hair on his stomach disappearing into the material of the glorious briefs. She can just appreciate him.

Okay, so maybe they haven’t slept together in awhile, and she’s feeling…frustrated.

Or maybe she’s really fucking horny. She’s not even a fan of the word horny, thinks it’s too much like what her immature teenagers at school say, but that’s pretty much how she’s been feeling lately. She needs to have sex. That’s what it boils down to.

“What are you staring at, love?”

“Huh?” she asks, shaking her head and running her tongue over her bottom lip while she flips her hair over her shoulder, thinking herself down because now is not the time. Now could totally be the time. “I wasn’t staring at anything.” “You are such a horrible liar. I literally don’t know how you keep anything a secret. Sometimes you’re awful.”

“Honestly, I was just thinking about how unbelievably horny I am, and how I was kind of hoping that we could have some time to ourselves tonight.”

The smile that was on his face fades away, morphing into that neutral smile she’s been seeing so much of in the past two months, and something inside of her stomach twists. Killian’s been acting so strange, stranger even in the past few days especially. He’s not himself, and she was just craving some kind of regularity with him where they could talk and get back to them. All she’s really wanted was a normal day. She wants to wake up, kiss Killian, go feed Ada and play with her, talk to Henry over breakfast and send him off to school, and do all of their normal family stuff in the evenings.

And she wants to sleep with her boyfriend again.

Because that’s normal. It shouldn’t be a rare thing, not with them, not when she knows that they had such a healthy, strong relationship.

Not when she knows, when she hopes, that they still have that.

Everything has been a gradual adjustment of sorts. After what she’s chalking up to as the initial shock and a jerk reaction of Neal finding out she and Killian were together, everything has been much calmer. Well, calm isn’t exactly the right word to describe her life. It never has been, but she thinks in the past month, they’ve gotten into a sort of rhythm, even if it’s not necessarily the rhythm she likes.

Every single morning is like their normal(ish) routine of rushing to get children fed and Killian getting ready for work. Sometimes Neal is up, which really only slows them down because Henry wants to talk to him about every little thing, but most of the time he sleeps until mid-morning, sometimes even noon. It usually depends on if he’s going to therapy or one of the support groups he’s started going to after his interview last week. A lot of people have reached out apparently, more than before, and he’s trying some of them out as he acclimates back to life. He seems so good to her, but he must be struggling on the inside.

She understands that in a way. Definitely not the same way. She’s never been a prisoner of war, would never dare to compare anything in her life to that, but she can understand keeping things bottled up inside when you’re scared of what saying them out loud will mean.

God, that interview had been a disaster from the beginning. It was beautifully done, and she really is thankful for Neal getting to do it since he was so convinced that it was good for him. Then the interviewer asked about her, asked about her moving on, and she felt her entire body go lax except for her arms around Ada. She’s gotten judgment from people who she’s known over the years, but the last thing she needed was judgment from the entire world. It was a fair question, but…it wasn’t right.

It shouldn’t have been asked like that. It shouldn’t have been asked at all.

And Neal had answered it so eloquently, so sweetly, and it had absolutely shattered her heart.

He called her the love of his life even though they’re not together anymore. She didn’t know what to say to that, how to respond. So she didn’t. Afterward she’d hugged him and told him how proud she was of him, but she didn’t want to talk about anything else that happened in the interview. She couldn’t. She just wanted to spend some time with her kids, wanted to spend time with the two people who never fail to put a smile on her face even when they make her want to scream out in frustration.

“Can you, um, put her in her bouncer?” Killian asks, nodding to Ada on the ground, his lips ticking up only a slight bit before falling back down while his shoulders slump forward. Something is wrong. Something is not okay, and she’s terrified to find out, her own shoulders tensing while she tries to keep herself from trembling. She can’t take any more upheaval, but his face, his tone – they’re not right.

“Killian, what’s wrong?” She slowly gets up from the floor, picking Ada up and putting her in her bouncer, focusing on each movement of her body while her heart pounds within her chest. Why does Killian look like that? Why does he want to talk?

All she’s wanted was for them to talk, actually talk, but she knows him well enough to know that this isn’t what she’s wanted.

“Emma, sit down.”

“No.” She shakes her head back and forth, refusing to sit down. If she doesn’t sit down, he won’t say what he’s about to say. She recognizes the look on his face now that they’re at eye level. It’s the one he gets when he has bad news, and she refuses to hear anything else. She refuses to have her world flipped upside down again. She thought it finally had a chance at getting righted. “No, just tell me.” “Darling,” he soothes, his lashes continually blinking against his cheeks as if he’s blinking away tears, “please sit down on the bed.”

“Why?”

“Because I need to talk to you.”

“So just fucking talk to me,” she chokes, the sob unexpectedly coming out of her, before putting her hands over her mouth in an attempt retrace her steps. Ada’s in the room. She can’t talk like that. She’s overreacting. Nothing has even happened yet. Everything is fine. Maybe it’s about something at work. Maybe he’s transferring departments. Maybe he’s getting fired. Maybe it’s anything other than what she already absolutely knows that it is.

She backs up to the bed, letting her ass fall to the mattress when the back of her knees hit the frame. Killian comes to stand inches away from her, squatting down in front of her with water in his eyes, making them so damn blue. That doesn’t help her in the slightest.

She really loves his eyes.

“Emma,” he whispers, his voice almost as steady as it always is as he takes her hands in his, holding on tightly, “I don’t know how to say this. I’ve been rehearsing it in my head for days, and I don’t…I can’t find a good way to tell you how I’m feeling.”

“Please don’t.”

“I have to, love.”

“Please don’t call me love if you’re going to do this.”

“Aye,” he nods, squeezing her hands even tighter while his fingers run over her knuckles in what used to be a comforting motion. This isn’t real. It’s not happening. He’s not doing this. “Emma, I think we need to take a break from each other. You and I both know that it hasn’t been the same since Neal came back, and I feel like having some time apart might make things easier.”

“You can’t do this, Killian. Please don’t do this.”

“I have to do this.”

“No, no you don’t,” she begs, her stomach dropping and weighing heavily within her. She knew he was going to say this, knew he was going to do this, and she can’t. She can’t. She can’t. “You can stay. You don’t have to leave me. You don’t have to leave us. Please don’t leave us.”

“I’m not talking about leaving you all,” he promises, running his thumb over her knuckles again and again. She watches it, watches the way his hands are larger than hers, the pads rough from his years in the Navy and yet soothing as they move over hers. “I’m just saying that I sleep in a different room. I could stay down in the study, but I think that might be too obvious for Henry. I don’t want him to worry right now, so I was thinking I could stay on an air mattress in the nursery. Or even on the floor. Ada could stay in here with you. I’d be here. I wouldn’t leave our kids. I just don’t think I can be with you right now.”

“W-why?”

“Darling, you know why.” She wants to look at his face, but she can’t. All she can do is focus on his fingers, on the consistent movement that has them connected even as her stomach churns. “I can’t live with myself knowing that I’ve kept a family apart. You would never be with me if Neal hadn’t been captured. It would be you, him, and Henry. He loves you, Emma. He loves you so damn much, and it’s tearing me apart because I’m keeping you apart. I love you, I love our family, but our family is a little more complicated than it used to be. I think we need time apart so we can figure things out instead of avoiding every little conflict like we’ve been doing.”

“I don’t want that.”

“But I do.”

“Killian,” she sobs, snatching her hands out of his and scrambling up the bed. She can already feel the puffiness in her eyes, the ache in her head and the heaviness in all of her limbs, something similar to cement filling her veins and anchoring her to the mattress, “I don’t want it. I don’t want to take a break. I want our family to stay together. You say you don’t want to break a family up, but you’re breaking our family up. For what? Because you feel guilty? Guess what. I feel guilty too but I’m not about to break us up.”

“It’s a break. It’s not a break up. I need time to think, Swan. I need to not have you next to me every damn night. I need some kind of boundary with us. Do I want to do this? No, no I fucking don’t. But I have to. I have to do this. I have to give myself time to think and give you time to think. I can’t think of any other way to fix us or to know if we even need to fix us.”

“Get out,” she says as calmly as she can, taking deep breath after deep breath so she doesn’t yell for everyone in the house to hear. “Get out, take Henry to school, and don’t call me today. I don’t want to talk to you, Killian. Take your precious time because I don’t want it. I don’t need it. You can have it to figure your shit out because I don’t want to be with someone who doesn’t want to be with me.”

“Emma, I do want to be with you, but I – ”

“Out,” she cries, pointing to the door. Killian nods his head, quickly scurrying around the room for clothes. He wasn’t even fucking dressed yet, and he just broke up with her. Just like that. Who the hell breaks up with someone when they’re not even dressed? “Please get…get out,” she cries when he’s still buttoning up his shirt, and when he leans down to kiss Ada’s head, she only starts crying more.

She has no idea how long she stays in bed, how long it takes for the tears to stop flowing from her eyes. All she knows is that she feels sick. She could vomit over and over again with absolutely no reprieve. She knew it was coming the moment Killian looked at her like that, but hearing the words has made everything worse. He’s leaving. He says it’s only temporary, that it’s a step back, but she knows from experience that it’s one step out of the door.

He’s leaving her just like most everyone has done. She thought that she’d finally found someone who wouldn’t do that to her, whether it be by his choice or something she can’t control, but she was obviously wrong. All she wants is to be with him, to have their family back together, but she can’t think with the murkiness of her mind.

A gurgle emanates from across the room, and she has to force herself to get out of bed even as all of her limbs protest, even as her heart constricts in her chest. She can’t quit. She can’t stop living her life. People rely on her, and as much as she wants to stay hidden away in the darkness, the shards of her heart surrounding her, she has a perfectly unbroken piece of her heart giggling just a few feet away.

Ada has no idea that her mom’s world just fell apart, and she’s not going to.

“Hey, Ada bug,” she hiccups, her voice harsher than she thought it would be as she takes Ada out of her bouncer, holding her tightly to her chest as she kisses the crown of her head of hair that she thinks lightens a bit every day, “Momma is here. I’m here, okay? I’m always going to be here.”

-/-

“She’s so tiny,” Henry whispers as he walks into the hospital room, his brown eyes blown wide as his gaze flitters between she and Ada. “She was inside of you?”

“She was,” she whispers back, scooting over in the bed and patting the small empty spot so Henry can crawl into bed next to her.

“Be careful, lad,” Killian warns a bit louder, his hands already reaching out as if Henry’s small frame is going to bring down she and Ada. “Your mum needs you to be gentle with her and with your sister.”

“I know,” he huffs, the irritation obvious as he climbs up into bed, settling his bony limbs next to her. He’s probably got to be exhausted with how many times Killian has told him to be gentle over the last nine months. She imagines there was a lot more of it in the waiting room outside. “You’ve told me that, like, eight thousand times.”

“Oh eight thousand whole times,” she laughs, pressing a kiss into Henry’s hair while she readjusts Ada on her chest. She remembers exactly what it was like when this was Henry in her arms, but it’s still altogether terrifying to have such a small child. It’s also terrifying to know that she’s going to get just as big as her big brother. “When did you get so smart that you can count that high?”

“I guess I’m just a genius.”

She and Killian both snicker, unable to hold it in. He’s so confident about everything, and even though that sometimes means he thinks he’s invincible and does dumb things, it’s usually endearing.

“I think so. How does it feel to be a big brother?”

“Weird, but Uncle Liam told me being a big brother is a very important job.”

“Did he now?”

“Yep,” he sighs, sinking down in the bed and tilting his head as he tries to get Ada to look over at him, his fingers reaching out and touching her shoulder before quickly pulling back. “He said that he’s Daddy’s big brother, and that I’m supposed to protect Ada and be her friend.”

“Oh I like that, kid. I think you guys are going to be best friends.”

“Yeah, but she’s just a baby right now. She can’t even talk.”

“So you’re going to wait until she can talk to be her best friend?”

“Maybe.”

She laughs, the feeling running through her, and she presses her lips against Ada’s head before she does the same to Henry. “I love you, Henry. You’re already doing such a great job.”

“I love you too. Can I go get lunch now?”

“Yeah,” she smiles, looking up at Killian who has soft crinkles around his eyes from the way his lips are ticking up on the side. He’s been a dad to Henry for a long time, but he didn’t get to be there for all of the pregnancy and the birth. This is like a whole new ballpark for him, and watching the softness in his gaze is so dang wonderful. “We’ll let Grandma come see your sister and then I’m sure she’ll take you to lunch.”

“Did someone say Grandma?” Ruth asks as she practically sprints into the room. Emma should have known that she’d be lurking outside the door. How could she not be after Killian left to go get Henry from the waiting room.

“It seems that Grandma was eavesdropping,” Killian teases, getting up from his seat and offering it to Ruth.

“Oh no, hon, I’m not sitting until I get to meet my new grandbaby. She’s my first girl.” Ruth walks over to her until she’s leaning just over Emma and kissing her hairline. Her hair has got to be disgusting right now, but she’ll allow Ruth this moment of affection. They haven’t always been close, especially since Ruth took her in as an angsty teenager, but her having kids has really closed the gap. “Hey, sweetheart,” she whispers in her ear, her breath warm, “I’m so glad you’re okay. I’m proud of you.”

“Thanks, Mom,” she sighs, blinking her eyes to keep the tears away. “Do you want to hold her?”

“Of course I do. Let me get my hands on this munchkin.”

“Grandma, why are you talking funny?”

“Because I’m just so excited,” she coos, picking Ada up out of her arms and carefully cradling her while she walks around the room. “Your mom and dad have given me a new grandbaby, and you know that my favorite number is three.”

“Last week you said it was seven because I’m seven.”

“I can have more than one.”

She tears her eyes away from the exchange that’s going on between Henry and Ruth to look over at Killian who was already staring at her, every bit of him relaxed and happy. She hurts like hell right now, but she feels the same.

“I love you,” she mouths over to him, reaching up to mess with the pendant around her neck.

He winks at her, the corners of his lips tugging up on the sides as hers do the same. “I love you too.”

-/-

She lines rolls out on a pan, making sure each of them is evenly spaced out for when they inevitably rise. She’s been cooking for hours straight. She doesn’t even like cooking, doesn’t think she’s great at it, but there are at least three pies in her refrigerator that say otherwise. Killian and David have pretty much been in charge of everything, but she’s had a need to always keep her hands busy over the past five days. If she doesn’t, she breaks down, and she can’t. She can’t break down.

Not again.

So she bakes and cooks and cleans and spends her time organizing Henry’s room, packing away his summer clothes and bringing down his winter ones from the attic only to have to go back up there to find the Spiderman shirt she apparently packed away. She’ll probably be looking for things he wants for weeks on end. Her entire house is spotless, all of her work at school done ahead of time until one of her students sends her an email needing help, and she’s bought far too many things to make Neal’s room as comfortable as possible for him. She has no idea how long he’s going to stay with them, especially with him beginning to travel back to D.C. once a week as of next week. He said he was going to meet with his commanders as well as a few Congressmen as they decide if he can even really go back to work like he wants.

She knows that he wants to be out and about, but they’ll probably stick him on desk duty or have him be some kind of poster child for the Marines since he’s living in Portland and not D.C. Honestly, she kind of likes that idea the most. She’d rather he be at home to be with Henry than flying off somewhere where she can’t even get in contact with him. When they were younger…God, she can’t even think about how many fights they used to get into over him voluntarily offering to leave even when his unit wasn’t called, but it always made him happier to be able to go. If it’s his passion, it’s his passion. Who is she to hold him back? She only hopes that he’ll take Henry into consideration and get a desk job…in Maine preferably.

There might not be any available that he wants (she’s personally a fan of the analyst job he’s been offered), but it seems like a better option than having to put Henry on a flight to D.C. to be with his dad.

Oh God. She can’t do that. She can’t send her child away. Neal has every right to Henry and Henry every right to Neal, but she can’t even think about that right now without her knees buckling underneath her. If she thinks about this, thinks about how she might be taking both of her kids off to stay with their dads instead of her…she won’t be able to stand. She doesn’t even know how it would work with Henry and Killian because she’d need to give Killian time too and…no, she can’t. She can’t think about this when she’s trying to get ready for Thanksgiving.

“Mom,” Henry shouts as he and Leo skid into the room, his sweater already rumpled despite how much she tried to find one he wouldn’t mess up, “can Leo and I go play on the swing set?”

“Of course. Stay away from the fryer though.”

“Yes ma’am,” Leo nods before running outside, Henry following behind him. They get so rambunctious when they’re together, and there’s literally no stopping them. She’s surprised that they even asked.

She puts the final roll on the tray before leaving them on the counter so they can be popped into the oven when all of the food is nearly ready to be served. After washing her hands, she moves to the living room where Mary Margaret and Ruth have been watching Ada. Her house is so full of people even if it’s only four extras, and she swears every time she walks into a room, there’s something different than before. She’s almost positive she had heard Neal in here talking to Mary Margaret and Ruth, but he’s nowhere to be seen. He must have gone outside with the guys.

Oh shit. Her house probably looks like some kind of ad from the sixties. At least she doesn’t have an apron on and isn’t wearing pearls.

That would not be her at all.

“Ruth, the oven is free if you want it for your casseroles.”

She waves her way, continuously running a toy into Ada’s stomach that makes her giggle. It’s the sweetest sound that usually fills Emma up with so much happiness, but out of nowhere she can feel tears stinging in the back of her eyes. That’s happening a lot lately. “I’ll get to them in a minute. My grandbaby was calling my name though. This outfit you picked out for her today is so cute.”

It is the cutest thing. She has on a red jumpsuit with ruffles on the shoulders and a matching floral headband that Emma loves.

“Oh, thanks. Killian dressed her this morning. I think we got that as a gift at my shower.”

“It’s adorable.” Ruth looks back up at her, a smile on her face that lessens a bit. “Are you okay, Emma?”

“It looks like you’re tearing up,” Mary Margaret adds in, and she cannot handle all of these eyes on her.

“I had chopped up some onions for the dressing,” she lies, forcing a smile and blinking away the tears. “You guys don’t want to go outside?”

“Nah,” Mary Margaret sighs, crossing her legs on the couch and looking up at the TV where a football game is playing, “David and Killian looked like they were getting into an argument over the turkey, so we figured it was safer in here.”

“Oh great, I just let Henry and Leo out there.”

“They won’t involve the kids in a squabble of a gobble.” “Good Lord, Marg,” she laughs, walking over to the other side of the couch and picking Ada up, fixing the frill on her romper before she sits down in the recliner, “you spend far too much time with eight-year-olds.”

“I am oh so aware.”

She sits and talks with them for a few minutes while nothing else needs to be done. She’d offered to host Thanksgiving this year back before her life got crazy, and while Mary Margaret had gladly tried to take over, Emma couldn’t let her. It’s part of her goal to keep everything normal. They can host a family event here without it being a big deal. It’s not like they’re a family of over forty people.

Of course, she also thought she and Killian would be together, that there wouldn’t be this overriding air of hostility, but she’s trying to ignore that. It’s not like she’s told anyone what’s happened. She’s pretty sure only she and Killian know. It’s only been a few days, and without fail Killian waits until everyone else has gone to bed to go into the nursery to sleep and is up and ready downstairs before anyone wakes up. She knows he can’t be comfortable in there, but it’s apparently what he wants.

How in the hell is that what he wants?

It’s not what she wants even as her anger at him builds and builds every time she looks at him going about his day like everything is normal.

Nothing about this is normal.

She really hopes that whatever it is he needs to figure out he figures out soon. She’s living in misery.

Throughout the rest of the day, she stays busy, balancing everything she needs to balance while everyone puts in a group effort to get dinner ready. It’s busy and loud and chaotic, and honestly, it’s just what she needs. The conversations at dinner make her smile and laugh, lightening the load on her shoulder a bit, and for just an hour or so, she’s the happiest that she’s been in awhile. She’s not thinking about how she feels like her life is crumbling. She’s thinking about all of the good things in it.

Until Neal unexpectedly leaves the table to answer a phone call that he insists on taking and suddenly that same heavy weight that’s been filling the air seems to be back, constricting her throat and weighing down her shoulders even more than it has been.

“He seems like he’s doing well,” David comments as he takes a bite of dressing. Henry and Leo left to go watch TV twenty minutes ago, and she was waiting to have this conversation. She knew it would be brought up. Why are holidays always so stressful?

“He is,” Killian answers, his gaze staying away from her as he looks at David. “I think he’s really and truly adjusting to life back. His therapy is doing wonders.”

“And it’s not weird that he lives with the two of you?”

“No,” he answers a little too quickly, his eyes looking at her for the briefest of moments before looking away. “It’s all fine. I think we’re doing great.”

Fucking liar.

“Excuse me,” she says as she pushes back from the table, nearly knocking over several drinks and plates full of food as she hastily gets up, the heels on her boots clicking with every step that she takes as she moves out of the dining room and finds the nearest exit in Killian’s study, opening the doors and closing them before she falls to the couch and looks at the wall she’s facing.

It’s a mistake as it’s filled with framed photos of Henry and Ada both alone, together, and with she and Killian. It’s literally his wall of family portraits, and looking at them used to fill her with so much joy thinking about how proud he was of their family, and now she can’t even look at them. She’s got so much to be thankful for, but she’s been hiding her emotions away for days now. She let herself cry the one time, and she’s finally allowing herself to do it again, water filling her eyes before falling to her cheeks.

“Emma.”

She doesn’t bother looking up, doesn’t bother acknowledging David or the concern in his voice as he closes the doors behind him before joining her on the couch, the leather squishing beneath his weight.

“What do you want, David?”

“I’m checking on you,” he murmurs, his arm reaching around her and pulling her in closer until she’s cradled into his chest, her legs curled up underneath her while she silently cries. She’s so damn tired of crying or wanting to cry or just…whatever, but she can’t make it stop. She’s been holding too much back. “What’s going on with you?”

“Nothing.”

“Emma, you and I both know that’s not true.” His hand moves up and down her back, and she nods her head against his chest. He smells like the deep fryer mixed with the cologne he’s worn every day in the sixteen years that she’s known him. He’s not one for change. “Why don’t you tell me what’s going on with you and Killian? And don’t say nothing. I’ve already tried talking to him about it, and he pretty much told me to fuck off.”

“Can I tell you to fuck off?”

“You can, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to listen.”

She sniffles, a bit of laughter mixed in, and even with the snot that’s running down her nose, this is the best she’s felt since she left dinner. “W-we’re…he said he wanted to take a break to think – to think about things.”

“About what?”

“Us,” she shrugs, not bothering to look up at David to have this conversation. It’s easier this way. It’s almost like she let everything out without having to see David’s reaction. Instead she focuses on a picture of she, Killian, Henry, and Ada in the hospital on the day Ada was born. She looks disgusting in it, but it’s one of her favorite memories. “I had a hard time listening when he was talking. I knew that it was going to end with him ending us, and I wasn’t ready to hear that.”

“No one ever is ready to hear anything like that. So it’s about Neal then? That’s why he wants a break? You guys have been so solid, and I can’t imagine anything else coming between the two of you.”

“I guess,” she sniffs again, wiping her nose on David’s flannel. She’ll have to offer to clean it later. She’s sure there’s mascara on it too. She probably looks like a raccoon with allergies or something. “I think he feels guilty, and I get that. How could I not? I feel guilty nearly every time I look across the table at dinner and see Neal talking to Henry, but what Killian and I had…I thought it was real. I thought he was always going to be there for me. I mean, I have a baby with him. I chose to have a baby with him. That’s not something you do with someone you don’t plan on staying with for a long time, if not forever. I thought we were going to get married someday.”

“I know, I know,” he soothes, his hand continuing its motions on her back, “but don’t you think that maybe Killian feels like you chose to do that with Neal first? That he was supposed to be your forever and Killian’s just someone in between, especially since you guys could have this miraculous chance at being a family again?”

And there’s the crux of the problem. No, there’s the problem. How does one deal with your husband coming back from the dead when you’ve moved on? There’s no guidebook, no help, and there’s no way to know how to do what’s best.

“I don’t know. I don’t know. I – I try so hard to feel the love I once felt for Neal again. I do, but it’s not there. It hasn’t been nourished for eight years, and we weren’t in a good place when Henry was born. Henry was a surprise baby, and I was so shocked about him, you know? But I was so happy too once I got over all of the shock. I just…Neal wasn’t as happy,” she whispers, the words so quiet that they barely sound in her own ears. “I think he almost resented me for it, like I’d gotten pregnant on purpose when we weren’t trying, but then there’d be moments where I could tell he was just so happy. One day he’d be telling me he didn’t want a kid and the next he’d be making all of these plans for how Henry would grow up.”

“You never told me any of that.”

“I’ve never told anyone that. Everyone has always thought I was a screwup growing up. I didn’t want more people to think that I was a screwup in my marriage too. So many people told me I was too young when we got married…and I didn’t want them to be right.”

God, admitting that after all of these years is like a car being lifted off of her chest.

“Emma, I would never think you’re a screw up.”

“Really?” she snorts, the laugh watery even when she hears it in her own ears. “I’m having a meltdown on Thanksgiving, and you don’t think I’m a screw up?”

“I think you’re one of the strongest women I know going through a really tough time. The man you love is going through some – frankly, he’s going through some personal shit, and you are unfortunately getting the brunt of some of his pain even if I promise that Killian would never hurt you if he didn’t think he was doing what’s best. He loves you and your children, and every smile he’s put on today has been so transparent that it’s almost painful for me to watch.”

“What about Neal?”

“What about him, Em? If you don’t love him and don’t want to be with him anymore, you shouldn’t try to force it. You should simply be thankful that a man who you care for is alive and can get to be here for your son. He may have been what sounds like an asshole back then, and don’t you dare think that this is the last that we’re going to talk about that, but he looks at Henry with such love. That’s a man who loves his kid.”

“Yeah,” she sighs, leaning back out of David’s embrace so that she’s holding herself up, the hiccups only coming every now and then, “he does. I just wish none of this had happened.”

“If none of this had happened, you wouldn’t have Ada, and I know you wouldn’t want that. Life is weird. There’s no telling what’s going to happen and how one small change can affect absolutely everything. I know it’s hard, but you’ve got to try to not live trying to fix the past when you have so many good things right now. Things are going to work themselves out. It doesn’t mean that they’re not going to be painful, but it does mean that things won’t always seem this difficult.” “When did you get so wise?”

“The moment Mary Margaret put forty candles on my last birthday cake.” He leans over and kisses the top of her head, and she hiccups in response, her tears still falling if only at a lighter rate. “You’re going to be okay, kid.”

“I’m only ten years younger than you.”

“I know, but it feels like an entire decade or something.”

“You’re an idiot.” “How can I be an idiot when you just called me wise?”

She smiles. “I love you.”

“I love you too, Ems,” he promises, kissing her head again.

#rising from the ashes #captain swan #captain swan fic #cs fic #cs ff

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moreracquetball · 7 years

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Youtuber AU Headcanons

(Lowkey inspired by a post by @whizzerbrowne who brought the idea to my attention and it has since dominated my brain). Let’s just get started:

(This got way too long, yikes. I had to include a read more line)

~ Three Youtubers: Jason, Cordelia, and Whizzer.

Jason

Type: He’s one of those younger, newer youtubers. He started when he was nine, and he talked frankly about stuff like divorce (bc his parents were going through a divorce at the time) and being an introvert and being autistic and being Jewish and dealing with a difficult relationship with his parents. He has trouble really talking to people so it was like really easy to just sit in front of a camera and start talking at them. Side note: this was totally Mendel’s idea as a therapy exercise that actually worked, okay? And (as we’ve seen in the musical), Jason has this raw honesty and wit to him that is very funny and real to watch. As he’s gotten older, he’s started talking about other things - like not such heavy topics. He talks about the things that he’s hyperfixated on (baseball, chess, the emoji movie, etc), and though his content is pretty erratic and all over the place, people just love his commentary and he’s amassed millions of followers in just a few years??

He also vlogs /a lot/, which is how his audience got to know Trina, Mendel, and Marvin.

Trina - Everyone literally adores her. She is v nervous and awkward in her cameos in Jason’s videos, but she is also very honest and vocal about her opinions and calls herself the Cool Mom even though Jason’s like “Mom, you don’t let me stay up past ten even when it’s not a school night” and Trina’s just “A Cool Mom can’t still care about your healthy and well-being??”

Mendel - As a one-off, Jason asked his followers to submit questions to Mendel the Psychiatrist for a collab idea with his stepdad, and his pieces of advice were kinda off the wall and funny and it quickly became a series and one of Jason’s most popular series ever. Some people are convinced Mendel is just playing a character so Jason has to be like “no he is actually like this. You have to believe me.” Also: Mendel gets a snapchat that everyone follows. He uploads grainy pictures of like trees and makes puns and constantly spams his story with pictures of Trina with captions like “look at how pretty she is” and “how did i get so lucky” and “rare photo of an actual goddess.”

Marvin - Tbh, the audience’s reaction to Marvin is a little more mixed, esp at first. Jason had talked a lot about his difficult relationship with Marvin and his “Draw My Life” video did stir up some contempt for Marvin’s selfishness. But like, over the years and through small snippets of cameos, it is generally believed that Marvin has changed and grown up a lot and is like an amazing (but dorky) dad. His cameos in Jason’s videos are the best bc it shows how eerily alike those two are and at one point Marvin briefly talks about internalized homophobia and toxic masculinity and hints at the stuff that he is’t proud of, and everyone - no matter their outward opinion of him - has like a little crush on him. Also, the videos with Marvin and Mendel both?? Their petty arguing gets like millions of hits every time.

Jason also totally does all the trend/tag videos but also has like that sarcastic, almost ironic vibe at first but he ends up really sincerely liking it.

Jason also does like monologues of his thoughts and opinions while also doing mini skits in between and he is iconic and a jack of all trades really.

He is very articulate and seems so mature but like any hate whatsoever does get to him a lot. He’s learned how to deal with his self-doubt and ignoring the trolls better than he had when he first started, but every once in awhile it still gets to him.

Also??? Remember that Roast Yourself Challenge trend??? Jason did that, and it was on the top page for like a solid week. He went too hard and too real.

Cordelia

Type: Totally like Hannah Hart’s Drunk Kitchen, are you even kidding me?? That it totally Cordelia. She drinks and talks about current events and makes really bad food puns and it is Everything. She also branches out after awhile and starts doing like satirical how-to videos. Lowkey once she tried to make a wry, parody version of a beauty vlogger how-to and she ended up having so much fun with it and her after make-up looked ballin, so she starts doing make-up tutorials, too.

She’s also very very proudly gay and out. Like, her username is literally lesbiancaterer. But she still gets like comments on her videos saying “are you straight?” or “her boyfriend must be a lucky guy” and it just makes her go “????? How could I ever make this clearer?” (once, in a collab with Marvin, one comment said “ahh, her and her bf are such #relationship goals” which then launched a very satirical, very deadpan boyfriend tag video with her and Marvin that made it abundantly clear just how fucking gay those two are).

Charotte first got introduced very very early in her videos bc once during a drunk kitchen, Cordelia cut her finger with a knife and called for her girlfriend and Charlotte went into complete Doctor Mode and started treating her immediately. Cordelia is a little tipsy at that point and starts blatantly flirting with her and calling her “my doctor” and that video’s comment section is just keysmashing and the phrase “my doctor.”

Cordelia does not try to hide her relationship in any way. She and Charlotte have done all those cute couples tags and Charlotte is the star of Cordelia’s social media and vlogs. Now they are #relationship goals.

Cordelia actually got into Youtube bc of Jason and everyone was like lowkey shocked when it turned out that these two popular but different youtubers knew each other and cameo in one another’s videos a lot and Cordelia is like “he is literally my godson, guys. Ofc I’m gonna be around him and support him.”

Whizzer

Type: Ohhh boy!! Whizzer is def the kind of youtuber that has been around on the platform since circa 2007 - are you even gonna try to fight me on that??? He is a fashion channel (also has like a series of the youtube version of fashion police) but also like a major storytime channel bc he’s been around and tells the craziest but realest stories of all time. He is also quickly considered The Gay Icon^tm of Youtube.

He is definitely one of the biggest youtubers on the platform but he also lowkey feels too old to still be on here and has that like Shane Dawson kinda feel of like keeping it real about youtube drama and rebranding himself and learning from stupid old videos when he was still like a shit 20-something that was lowkey problematic.

He stans so hard for Britney Spears and Carly Rae Jepsen and he got Carly in one of his collabs and he could not stop smiling and fangirling and he is literally all of us.

He is very, very vocal and honest about his sexuality and sexual history. He has a lot of Body and Sex Positivity videos and speaks very bluntly about the importance of self-esteem and body image and safe sex.

(One of his most popular videos is the one with him candidly speaking about having HIV and he talks about his mistake with unsafe sex and all the terrible stigmas around the topic. He talks about how it’s both a physical and emotional struggle, and he also talks about treatment and awareness and prevention and seeking emotional help to combat depression).

He arranges a collab with Jason bc they are alike in that they always speak candidly about issues and struggles and have like the exact same sense of dry, almost scathing humor. Whizzer meets Marvin bc Marvin is like “Jason, there is no way you’re meeting a strange man who you met over the internet. I am definitely going to be the one that goes with you.”

(Awkward moment when Marvin and Jason get to Whizzer’s apartment, and Marvin and Whizzer’s profiles light up with one another from one of those websites like Grindr). Whizzer has like lowkey commented on Jason’s videos before with lewd comments about his hot dad, but like this is so not what Whizzer had been expecting?? Yeah, at the end of Whizzer and Jason’s collab video, Whizzer puts like a small blooper reel and it’s him continually flirting with Jason’s dad (who’s behind the camera) and the Internet suddenly has a new fave ship.

(Marvin and Whizzer totally messaged each other and hooked up like the next day).

But like, they keep the budding relationship very underwraps bc they both really don’t want it to affect Jason’s channel and neither really think at first that their whole arrangement will go anywhere close to serious because Whizzer has never been in love or had a steady boyfriend and Marvin cannot hold a relationship either even after his divorce.

But of course they fall in love, and of course the internet knows something’s up. Whizzer keeps vaguing on Twitter about the new man in his life with weird tweets like “I can’t believe I’m deliberately sleeping with a man who UNIRONICALLY knows every word to Allstar” and “get you a man who always sends that courtesy ‘thank you.’ text after you send him a dick pic.” And when Whizzer vlogs, he always makes sure to keep the camera trained on himself but you can see that his eyes are always looking away as he’s like smiling at someone who does not want to be on camera. Also, Jason’s weekend vlogs have cameos of Whizzer in them now.

They mess up when in one of aforementioned Jason’s vlogs, there’s a grainy clip of Marvin and Whizzer in the background and Marvin kisses Whizzer’s cheek. The internet loses their minds

(After nine/ten months of dating, Whizzer and Marvin abruptly break up and neither really acknowledges it. However, weeks after their break up, Whizzer decides to make a story-time video about this fucking asshole boyfriend that broke up with him over a chess game. He wanted it to be like both petty but also very funny because that is such a ridiculous story, but like when he’s editing it, he notices himself being like on the verge of tears in some parts and being overly bitter and tense, and he never uploads it and he realizes that he isn’t over Marvin like he had said he was).

(However, Whizzer does end up making a story-time video later about how Jason’s baseball game brought him and Marvin back together).

After they get back together, they’ve worked out their issues and are couples goals now and they do not hide their relationship and Marvin makes cameos in both Whizzer and Jason’s videos/younows and it is incredible.

Through Jason and Marvin, Whizzer and Cordelia meet and they become best friends. They collab all the time and they complain about queer struggles and they talk about their relationships and get drunk on camera and be weird, loud idiots and those videos get tons of views.

And Whizzer gets candid about how he’s always felt like alone in the world and hasn’t really had the opportunity to rely on anyone but himself but through Jason and Marvin, he meets Cordelia and Charlotte and Mendel and Trina, and even though they might not get along all the time and some people are closer to other people, they’re all his family and he never thought that he’d really have one that close before. It’s one of his most vulnerable videos.

The most successful videos on all three’s channels are the collabs of the three of them together: Jason and Cordelia and Whizzer. And they become like one of those Youtube cliques that collab all the time and tweet about each other’s videos constantly and always hang out with one another at all the events like Vidcon and Playlist Live.

#omg this became way way too long #and it won't get a lot of notes but I just had a lot of feelings #i needed to get there #this is the au ive been assembling in my head for days now #help me please #these have haunted me #falsettos #falsettos revival #Whizzer Brown #cordelia falsettos #jason falsettos #falsettos au

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nerville · 7 years

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tag game!

tagged by - the beautiful @demeantors thank you katie!!

rules - you must answer these 85 statements and tag 20 people

tagging - @lunalovey @parvander @lilyevansh @fienfyre @ravenclw @pctter @nargles @howlingremus @fireheartfray @nympcdora @qveertonks @slyttherin @lilyevians @sirjsblack @siruisblack @zabiniblaise @acciolunalovegood @hermionesmenacinglook @lunalocegood @mcgonnagal

the last 1. drink: iced mint hibiscus tea (bcos I'm Extra) 2. phone call: my mom lmao 3. text message: my mom. again 4. song you listened to: error by vixx (Good Song) 5. time you cried: idk?? I almost cried today watching wonder woman 6. dated someone twice: hahahahhahahahhhahahhhh nope not even once rip 7. kissed someone and regretted it: hahhahhahhh no 8. been cheated on: nop 9. lost someone special: kinda??? not rly??? hard to explain 10. been depressed: yea 11. gotten drunk and thrown up: nope

3 favorite colors 12. blue (darker, like navy) 13. soft pink 14. gold

in the last year have you 15. made new friends: yes 16. fallen out of love: no (ive fallen out of like tho,, I don't rly like to use the word “love” lightly for relationships) 17. laughed until you cried: lmfaoooo like all the time 18. found out someone was talking about you: yes 19. met someone who changed you: yes 20. found out who your friends are: yes I think!! 21. kissed someone on your Facebook list: nop

general 22. how many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: one (1) because I have one (1) facebook friend and its my best friend lmao ((I never use fb)) 23. do you have any pets: no but I want!! 24. do you want to change your name: not rly??? a lil bit but not rly 25. what did you do for your last birthday: my two best friends surprised me at my house and we ate cake and watched Netflix and hung out together! 27. what were you doing at midnight last night: reading angsty bts fanfic on ao3 bcos I'm actual Trash 28. name something you can’t wait for: to go to Australia!!! I need to convince my dad to buy me a ticket ahhhh 29. when was the last time you saw your mom: like 5 min ago 31. what are you listening to right now: russian roulette by red velvet 32. have you ever talked to a person named tom: maybe?? I don't think so 33. something that is getting on your nerves: I'm surprisingly chill rn and cant think of anything and its been awhile since Ive felt this so I'm not gonna think about things and destroy the feeling :) 34. most visited website: tumblr 35. hair colour: dark brown/black 36. long or short hair: medium-long (mostly longer tho) 37. do you have a crush on someone: not anymore!!! the freedom!!! 38. what do you like about yourself: my eyelashes!! theyre rly long and pretty :’)) 39. piercings: ears 40. blood type: idk man 41. nickname: sanju (call me this and I will Cut You), ganj, gank (and variations upon it), jana, jana banana, sanny montanny (these r all I can remember rn lol) 42. relationship status: single and sad (not necessarily sad abt being single @ that one anon that came after me when I was feeling lonely and afraid id never have a relationship, just sad in general) 43. zodiac: virgo sun! 44. pronouns: she/her (for now, I'm a little unsure lately as to what i feel i am) 45. favourite tv show: parks and rec!! 46. tattoos: none 47. right or left handed: right 48. surgery: nope 49. piercing: ears!! repeat question 50. sport: I used to play soccer, and ive dabbled in football, volleyball, swimming, basketball, various styles of dance and I do Bharatanatyam rn (indian classical dance) also if u think dance is not a sport I will Fight You. crush you with my thighs. my muscular thighs. which have come from dancing. try me. 51. vacation: ?not sure I understand the question?? if its where I want to vacation, id say around Europe. like going backpacking or sth 52. pair of trainers: ????? still unsure abt what the question is????? I don't normally wear trainers/tennis shoes... I just,,, rly don't like them. I'm ok with laced shoes tho like converse or vans. just not. tennis shoes (its weird I know)

MORE GENERAL 53. eating: I went to kerby lane café for dinner!!! its a rly cute place and they specialize in breakfast food (I had French toast and eggs, and I shared pancakes w a friend) 54. drinking: ?? unsure abt question???? fave drink is rose water 55. i’m about to: noodle around some more on tumblr 56. waiting for: my dad to give me the big laptop so I can work on edits (but its 10pm rn so prob not gonna happen lmao) 57. want: to be happy and loved 58. get married: I want to in the future!! but I'm scared ill never find The One (more scared that no one will be there) so I'm probably going to have an arranged marriage. that's ok tho, my parents were arranged. and my oldest cousin will likely end up having an arranged marriage too, so *shrugs* its in the cards 59. career: I'm currently interested in dance therapy!! I want something where I can help people but also be myself and do something I love and enjoy, and I want freedom (tall order, I know)

WHICH IS BETTER 60. hugs or kisses: hugs 61. lips or eyes: hmm eyes 62. shorter or taller: both r ok, I like being smol 63. older or younger: ?? like for a significant other?? eithers fine by me (as long as age gap isn't too extreme) 64. nice arms or nice stomach: a r m s (but stomach is a bonus, I don't rly care about abs or anything) 65. hook up or relationship: relationship 66. troublemaker or hesitant: hesitant

HAVE YOU EVER: 67. kissed a stranger: nop 68. drank hard liquor: no 69. lost glasses/contact lenses: yes 70. turned someone down: yes (ik, I'm still surprised someone asked me in the first place) (fun story, 2+(?) people asked me, ive turned them all down;;; first was bcos he was an asshole I didn't know, second didn't even talk to me but sent someone I didn't trust/like to come get me and I was wary, third was a close friend who I cant see as more than a brotherly figure) 71. sex on the first date: no 72. broken someone’s heart: not that I think? prob not 73. had your heart broken: yes 74. been arrested: no 75. cried when someone died: I don't know anyone whos died during my life, so not for real deaths. for fictional character deaths, yes 76. fallen for a friend: yes

DO YOU BELIEVE IN: 77. yourself: hahahhahhhahhahahh sometimes, depending about what. do I believe in my Bharatanatyam skills? yes. do I believe in my ability to find happiness? no 78. miracles: yes kind of mostly 79. love at first sight: no. only lust at first sight. 80. santa claus: eh could go either way. id like to believe in him. 81. kiss on the first date: eh sure if the date went rly well 82. angels: again, I want to

OTHER: 83. current best friend’s name: irl: Shravani and sarah, on this hellsite: tyler (lob u tut *blows kiss*) 84. eye colour: dark brown 85. favourite movie: I don't have an all time fave, but I rly love dangal and wonder woman rn

#about me #god this was long #not hp

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let-it-raines · 5 years

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Betting on the Bullseye (Part 11)

Summary: Emma Swan loses a bet that means she has to ask her celebrity crush to be her date to her office's annual fundraising gala. Killian Jones is that celebrity crush. She expects all kinds of humiliation and for her dignity to be completely lost. What she doesn't expect is for him to say yes

Rating: Mature

A/N: Have I ever told you guys how awesome I think you are? Because I really do think that!

We’ve got some more fluff and some conversations and a baseball game. And in the next chapter, we meet the friends...dun dun dun :D

AO3: Beginning | Current

Tag List: @nikkiemms @resident-of-storybrooke @wellhellotragic @bmbbcs4evr @onceuponaprincessworld @jennjenn615 @mayquita @captainsjedi @teamhook @skyewardolicitycloisdelena91@branlovesouat @dreadpirateemma @kmomof4 @ekr032-blog-blog @galaxyzxstark @lifeinahole27 @andiirivera @ultimiflos @hollyethecurious

“K-I-S-S-I-N-G.”

“Oh my God,” Emma groans, swiveling in her desk chair and burying her face in her hands, hoping that if she doesn’t move away from the desk that maybe Ruby will get up and walk away. When she doesn’t hear any movement, she peeks up, opening an eye to see Ruby still sitting in the chair in the corner with an absolute smirk on her face. “Are you five years old?”

“No, but I just saw your boyfriend slobber all over you in your office like you two are horny teenagers, so I really think I’m the mature one in this situation.”

“First of all,” she begins, sitting back in her chair and tugging at the loose strands falling out of her bun, “it was not slobber. He is not a dog. That would be disgusting. Secondly, why the hell were you in my office? I feel like you’re never down in the therapy center.”

Ruby shrugs before she blows on her nails, the picture of nonchalance as always. “I don’t have a session for thirty minutes, and I wanted to see your sex glow.”

“You get creepier by the minute. Mary Margaret is obviously the better best friend.”

“Hey, rude,” Ruby scoffs, throwing the pillow she’s holding over at her only for Emma to catch it. “We are both equally good best friends. I am the fun one who convinces us to do things like skydiving or barhopping, Mary Margaret is the mom friend who doesn’t let us go home with creepy guys, and you, my little Swan, are our brutally honest companion who, despite your sometimes prickly exterior, is a wonderful mix of both me and Marg. And come on, how can you get better than being like me?”

“How did you manage to turn that from a quasi compliment about me and Marg to it being about you?”

“I’m a woman of many talents.”

“Yeah, whatever.” She turns to her computer, logging into her account and waiting for everything to boot up so she can answer the emails that she’s sure have come in since last night. “Why the hell do I have emails from people past midnight? Who is working at midnight and thinks, ‘huh, I want to come visit a children’s center?’”

“People who don’t sleep,” Ruby answers, getting up from the chair and perching herself on the side of her desk, the hem of her dress falling over her knees. “Speaking of that, I want to talk about how you didn’t sleep last night and still have this whole glow about you. You look refreshed, except for this whole hair situation thing you’ve got going on.”

“It dried all on its own and when I brushed it out this morning, it was like a frizzy bush. So the messy bun it is.”

“It looks like sex hair.”

“It is sex hair.”

“Ha,” Ruby laughs, slapping Emma’s shoulder, “I knew it.”

“Well, obviously, Rubes. My boyfriend just came into town after me not seeing him in weeks. What were we going to do? Have him sleep out on the couch after a quaint dinner full of small talk? Maybe a little handholding?”

“I bet you did all of that too.” She rolls her eyes, trying to keep her lips in a straight line. “Maybe.” “You know, I only ask because I’m the entire reason that you’re getting some. The world should thank me.”

“How the hell is that?”

“You met him because of me.”

“I got drunk and lost a stupid bet. You just happened to be…less drunk than me.”

“And then I picked your suitor for the night, who is now your suitor for…awhile? I’m not sure if we’re talking, like, the Nolans type of relationship or the Bachelor type of relationship.”

Her face immediately heats and she squirms in her chair, adjusting herself and suddenly finding a junk email about a sale on cars the most interesting thing in the world. She does not want to answer Ruby’s question, or statement really. She knows her answer, but saying it out loud seems like it’s too much too soon. She feels…a lot for Killian, her feelings teetering so close to love that she could easily be knocked over and fall head first in if she’s given the right push, but she doesn’t want to admit it too soon. She’s not sure where Killian is in that whole regard, but it’s not something she’s actively thinking about. They’re working how they are, and there’s no need for her to think otherwise.

It’s like what Killian told her this morning, just before Ruby apparently saw him “slobbering” on her, he makes her happy. It was cheesy and made her cringe a bit, but then she saw the emotion in his eyes, heard it in his voice, and she realized how sweet it was, how sweet he is. Killian’s had some screwed up things happen to him in the past, things that make her blood curdle that anyone could try to take advantage of a man who’d do anything for anyone, and he still has the ability to be that kind, if not a bit self-loathing when he doesn’t need to be.

Not that she has any right to call someone out for being self-loathing.

She pretty much has that one in the bag.

“So what’s lover boy doing while you’re working?” Ruby asks, obviously sensing that Emma did not want to talk about how long she thinks her relationship is going to last.

It’s forev…nope. She’s not going to even think it. That’d be crazy.

“I’m not sure. I gave him some suggestions on places to go, so he might go explore the city a bit on his own. But honestly with how tired he was, I’m thinking he’s going to go back to my place and crash before doing a bit of work.”

“Sounds like a hell of a vacation.” “I have Netflix and food. What more could he ask for?”

Ruby eventually has to go do actual work, as does Emma, her day passing by at a snail’s pace with little more to do than twiddling her thumbs and cleaning out her desk drawers. Some days are like this, slow and steady, something to do coming in every few hours, while others are nonstop, making her feel like she can never get a moment to breathe. If it were a perfect world, those days would blend together to make a day where she’s never overwhelmed or underwhelmed. To quote Gabrielle Union in 10 Things I Hate About You, she would just be whelmed.

(That movie came on twice in a row the other night, and she was too lazy to get up and find the remote to change the channel.)

But the world isn’t perfect so the rest of day goes by achingly slow with nothing to do, and like it’s some kind of karmic payback for her complaining about her day on Tuesday, Wednesday is a nonstop day that has her so frazzled she forgets to eat lunch and doesn’t realize it’s far past six thirty in the evening, nearly an hour and a half after she should have gone home, until there’s a knock at her office door and Killian’s standing there in a suit with two cups of coffee in his hands.

Oh shit. They were supposed to go out tonight. That’s what they’d decided on when she got home from work yesterday. He’d spent the day catching up on emails and reviewing new scripts even though he apparently promised himself he wouldn’t look at anything new for at least a month. So since he didn’t explore Boston last night, especially with the way they stayed in bed continuing to make up for lost time, they were supposed to tonight.

But she screwed it up.

She groans, throwing her head down against the desk and hiding her face in her arms, hoping that she can somehow go back in time and meet Killian back at her apartment when she was supposed to.

“I am so, so, so, soooo unbelievably sorry. Ah, fuck, I’m really late, aren’t I?”

“Well, you were supposed to be home two hours ago, so yeah, I’d say the fact that you’re still in your office means you’re pretty late.”

He doesn’t look angry or disappointed, the smallest of smiles gracing his face, and she wonders how the man who is on time for literally everything could somehow not be irritated with her.

She’s irritated with herself.

“How pissed are you at me?”

He hums, taking a step away from the door and making his way over to sit on the edge of her desk, his thighs spreading out and gray pants tightening with the movement. That’s not distracting at all. Nope. She doesn’t find the muscles in his thighs in any way attractive. She’s also a liar. “Well, I wouldn’t say pissed is the right word. I’d say more concerned.” “Why?”

He hands her the coffee then, and she notices the cups are from Iron Bank. He must have gone back there instead of going to Starbucks or something. “Because it’s seven, Swan. And I know you like your job, but I don’t think you like it enough to stay here because you want to. Not when you have a devilishly handsome date waiting for you, especially when he got all dressed up for the occasion.”

Killian’s waggling his eyebrows and smiling down at her, his hair coiffed up in a way that makes her know he put some effort into it, which only makes her feel worse. Obviously Killian doesn’t take as long as she does to get ready for a date, but still. He was at her apartment getting ready and waiting for her all while she was trying to understand why her Excel programming decided to glitch and malfunction and make none of the numbers align.

She feels like an awful human being.

“I’m sorry,” she whines again, saving the program and exiting out, figuring that she’ll fix it in the morning. She’s got to fix this now. “What time is our reservation?”

“At eight.”

“Okay,” she sighs, getting up from her seat and straightening out her pants, “if we break, like, every traffic law or maybe just make a run for it, we can get me home to change and then get there in time. Of course, if we just went to, like, one of my usual places we wouldn’t even need a reservation. So maybe if we don’t make it to Sorellina’s then we can do that. Or we can go and be late and hope they don’t give up our table, or I’ll just wear what I have on. This is fine, right?”

Killian chuckles, not even moving from his perch on her desk while she’s gathering up all her belongings, running through the scenarios again. Before she gets the chance to walk out the door, Killian grabs her wrist, pulling her closer so that she stands in between his splayed knees. Before she can even say anything, he’s pulling her wrist up to his lips and kissing right under her palm. Her eyes flutter closed at the touch, the contrast of the softness of his lips and harshness of his whiskers causing her skin to tingle the slightest bit. She didn’t realize how quickly her heart was beating, how heated her face was, but she can feel it all now as she cools off.

“Swan, calm down.”

“Sorry, sorry. I’m just…I’m sorry.”

“Love, do not apologize again.”

“I’m – never mind.”

He smiles, running his thumb back and forth over her wrist. “You lost track of time at work, something you do all of the time. You didn’t do anything wrong. It’s just a dinner reservation. I don’t care if we miss it. But luckily for you, I called and traded it out with someone else for a nine o’clock one.”

“You could have told me that before I felt like the worst person in the world, KJ.”

“Yeah, but then I wouldn’t have seen you sweat.”

“You’re not a kind man.”

“Never claimed to be.”

Traffic takes forever, the roads on the way back to her apartment seemingly staying at a standstill for over forty five minutes, but they do eventually get back to her apartment. Luckily, she washed her hair this morning, even curled it a bit, so all she really has to do is slip out of her blouse and pants and slip into a black dress she’s had for years. It’s a little tight, looks more like something she’d wear out to a bar, so she throws on her red leather jacket and favorite ankle boots to look a bit nicer. She knows that she has time to redo her hair and makeup, but all she does is flick on another line of eyeliner and reapply her lipstick before heading back out into the living room where Killian is typing away on his phone.

“Okay, I’m ready to go, though I think we might actually be early now.”

He looks up at her then, his phone dropped into his lap while his lips part and his eyes trace up and down her body. A shiver runs down her spine, something that happens a lot when he’s around, and she reminds herself that they absolutely have to go out tonight. She’s not messing this dinner up again.

“You look – ”

“I know.”

“And you say I’m cocky, love,” Killian laughs, looking back down at his phone and typing a few things in. “I’ve got an Uber coming to pick us up in five minutes.”

“I can drive.” “Aye, I know, but this way we don’t have to worry about parking or if we have anything to drink.”

“I like the way you think.”

It’s a relatively cool night as they wait outside for their Uber, so she’s glad that she grabbed her jacket, but they’re not outside long before loading up into Devin’s car as he takes them across town to Sorellina’s. She’s been in more Ubers than she should for someone who likes to drive herself places, but Devin is definitely the quietest driver she’s ever had. He doesn’t say much, just asking how their evening is going while they chat in the back, but she does notice him continuously looking back at them through his review mirror.

She has no idea why until they’re pulling up outside of the restaurant, and he asks, “Hey, are you?”

“Yeah,” Killian answers, quickly sliding out of the backseat and holding his hand out for her so that she can easily get out of the car. Maybe he is the gentleman he claims to be. Okay, so he definitely is. “Have a good night, mate.”

Before they go inside, she grabs onto his jacket sleeve, tugging at him to look at her. “Hey, is it okay that we’re out? I didn’t think about people recognizing you.”

“It’s fine, love.” He leans down and kisses her, making her forget her worries for the moment. “As long as you’re okay with the possibility of people seeing us together, I’m fine with it.”

“I’m fine with it too.”

“Good.”

Despite being fine with it, she does notice how Killian’s reservation is for a booth in the back, the lighting not as nice as it is everywhere else in the restaurant. But whatever works for him works for her, and she really doesn’t have any complaints about tonight. It might be a nicer place than she usually frequents, but that’s not going to keep her from having a nice time.

She gets a lasagna, though it’s definitely got a fancier name than that on the menu, while Killian gets gnocchi, which she definitely would have pronounced wrong if she had ordered it. Maybe she needs to expand her palate a little bit. But it’s fine for tonight. The food is good, the wine great, and even though she’s never been one for fancy restaurants, she finds it doesn’t matter when you actually like the person who’s sitting across from you.

Maybe that’s been the problem.

Or maybe the prices.

Probably both.

Definitely both.

“ – no, no, I’m serious. I won the spelling bee when I was in primary school. I was quite the little academic. Top five in my class, too.”

Killian’s been telling her all about his academic prowess and all of the clubs he was in when he was younger. He played a green bean in a play about how eating your vegetables is important, and she thinks that’s where he got his penchant for healthy eating. And maybe why he’s such a good actor.

“Who knew you were such a little genius, KJ?”

“I did. My entire life.”

She rolls her eyes, taking a sip of her wine to hide her smile. “So why’d you never go to college…or university? That’s what you call it, right? I know you moved here when you were eighteen to get away from…everything, but I bet you could have gotten a scholarship. That’s what I did. And a hell of a lot of student loans.”

Killian takes a sip of his rum before reaching up to scratch behind his ear, his lips ticking up on the right while his eyes squint. “Eh, it was the money, the fact that I didn’t know what to do. Liam had busted his arse to pay for me to live after he managed to get me into his custody, and I didn’t want to burden us anymore. I was good at manual labor, so if I hadn’t found the set building job, I think we would have both worked in construction. I like being able to work with my hands.”

Oh. She didn’t think of that. She should have. She went through doing it all on her own, worrying about finances and how to live, and she should have known that Killian did that too. She knows enough about his childhood to know how rough he and Liam had it for a few years. But sometimes the words just slip without her thinking.

“I’m sorry that I asked, if that brought up bad memories of something you didn’t get to do.”

“Hey,” Killian soothes, reaching across the table and twining their fingers together, his palm warm in hers, “it’s fine, love. It’s not a sad story or something I’m ashamed of. It’s my past, and I kind of like my job situation now. I don’t think I would have gotten it if I’d studied somewhere.”

“What…what do you think you would have studied? Hypothetically speaking.” “Then? English. Would have been dirt poor for my entire life, but I would have liked to have been a teacher. Now? Definitely acting. I’m pretty self taught, but the academic in me likes to always know more, to be learning.” He squeezes her hand before releasing it and moving it back to his side of the table. Sometimes she sees little flickers of darkness behind the brightness of his eyes, but he either hides it well or truly doesn’t let his past affect him too much. “But I don’t regret anything, Swan. I spent too long being bitter, and I’m not going to complain about how Liam and I made it here. Though, I would take having my mum back.”

“She’d be proud of you.”

“I’d like to hope so.” He smiles softly, almost sadly, and it breaks her heart like it does every time she thinks of Killian losing his mom, someone he very obviously loved with his entire being. “She’d love you. You remind me of her, actually, and not in some kind of weird, psychologists would study it, way.” “Well that’s good to know,” she laughs, messing with the leftover food on her plate so that she has time to process all of this. She kind of wishes she could have met his mom, too. Mostly she wishes that she was here for Killian. And Liam.

She may have never known her parents, may not know anything about them, but Killian knew his mom. He grew up with her and had to watch her die when he was ten. She can’t…she can’t imagine. But at the end of the day, she and Killian have both been left, abandoned by people who were supposed to love them and be there for them, so they understand each other. And she’s known that from the night they met when he shared with her that he’d been in foster care for awhile, something people don’t know.

He trusted her from the beginning, and that’s not an honor she takes lightly.

Oh God, she’s kind of thinking like him now.

“I just mean that you two are both bloody brilliant with huge hearts and a quick wit. And, you know, the ability to knock me back down to earth when my head gets a little too big.”

“So all of the time?”

“Aye, so all of the time.”

“All of the time, KJ.”

After they get the bill, she and Killian walk outside and wait for their Uber, not really wanting to walk around the area. She can feel the wine buzzing through her the slightest bit, not anywhere near enough to be drunk, but definitely enough to be a little wine happy. Killian wraps his arm around her waist, tugging her a little bit closer so that she can rest her cheek against his shoulder.

“You know, darling, I don’t think I tell you this enough, but I think you are phenomenal.”

“Hmm, I feel like you should just tell me that every day. You may not need to have an inflated ego, but I certainly can.”

“I’m serious, Swan. You’re a badass. The life you’ve made for yourself, all by yourself, it takes a strong woman to do that, and you deserve all of the credit in the world. And in case no one has ever told you, I’m proud of you.”

Oh shit.

She wasn’t expecting that. Not at all. Not in the slightest. And she’s not going to cry. This was supposed to be dinner, a night out that’s fun, not something that’s going to make her cry. But she doesn’t think anyone has ever told her that. Maybe Mary Margaret and David, but she’s not sure right now.

She’s barely able to even tell herself that sometimes, even if she is damn proud of herself.

And then another thought comes to her, the very one that was teetering on the tip of her tongue that she was trying to push down, and it nearly takes her breath away. She thinks she loves him. No, she does love him. She…expected it in a way, but really, in no way could she have ever expected this, expected him.

In no way could she have ever expected herself to even want to love again, not after everything, but she’s here and weirdly, she’s not scared of it.

Okay, so maybe she’s a little terrified, but the voice that’s telling her to run away is oddly quiet. Maybe it’s replaced by the sound of Killian telling her he’s proud of her.

She turns in Killian’s embrace and wraps her arms around his neck before capturing his bottom lip with her mouth, feeling the softness and warmth that always accompanies him. He gasps a little when her lips move, almost like he wasn’t expecting it, and she smiles into the kiss, not able to help herself from her teeth clanking against his before she moves back in with fervor, trying to let him know how she feels even if she can’t say the words yet, if she wants to hoard them and keep them to herself for now.

For tonight at least.

“Hey, are you, um, Liam Jones, who ordered the tan Toyota Camry with Madeline driving?”

She pulls back a bit when a girl yells at them from the restaurant’s driveway, her face red enough that Emma knows she’s been watching them for awhile. Oops.

She’s not at all sorry.

“That’s us,” Killian laughs, quickly kissing her once more before pulling back from her.

“Liam Jones? That’s definitely not your name.”

“Aye, I know, but this way if I ever get a bad review, it’s under Liam’s name.”

“But it’ll still be under your account. I don’t think that’s – ”

He dips his head and kisses her again, making her almost lose her balance on the sidewalk. “Aye, I know that’s not how it works, Swan. Let’s just get in the car and hope Liam doesn’t get a bad review from me not being able to resist you until we get back to the apartment.”

“I think the bad review might be worth it.”

-/-

“So who are we playing tonight?”

“The Orioles. If you’d come, like, a week and a half later we could have watched the Astros, but nooo, apparently you have schedules and things like that.”

“I mean,” Killian begins, wrapping his arm around her shoulder while they walk down Van Ness, the sidewalk crowded with people heading toward Fenway, even if tonight isn’t a big game, “I do occasionally have to work. Meetings and such. And family obligations.”

“Excuses, excuses.” She reaches over to pat his back, rubbing up and down in circles. “Have you ever been to a baseball game?”

“Aye, I’ve been to several Dodgers’ games.”

“Okay, better question. Have you ever been to a baseball game and not sat, like, behind home plate?”

“Are you asking if I’ve ever sat up in the cheap seats?”

“Yep.”

“Well, believe it or not, I was once a poor young lad.”

“From a poor family.”

“I don’t think Bohemian Rhapsody is really the song to quote here.”

“Okay, go on, go on.”

“So Liam and I, when we first moved to California, would go and buy the nosebleeds for the Dodgers, and go a couple times a summer. Yeah, we could have just watched on TV, but there’s only so much time you can sit in a small apartment with your older brother who was very hot and heavy with his girlfriend.”

“Elsa?”

“Oh no, this was long before Elsa. Liam was quite the ladies’ man when we first moved here.”

“Really now?”

“Oh yes, think about it. A British transplant fresh out of the Navy with those stunning Jones looks.”

“You’re either conceited or confident. I can’t decide.”

“Maybe a bit of both.”

They get to their gate, Emma pulling up the tickets on her phone and scanning them before going through. She thinks Killian gets a few weird looks, but he’s got on his aviators and a hat, which is obviously not a complex disguise or anything, but he says that it works, which is a really weird thing for her to think about. She sometimes (all of the time) forgets what he does for a living, or really, the consequences of what he does, even if that is how they met. But then they’ll be out and he’ll tug his hat down on his forehead or, like the other night, make sure their table is in the back corner of the restaurant.

After going through security, they wander around in the concrete halls, passing by all of the food and souvenir stands until they find the staircase to lead them to their seats. Only a few people are in their area, the stadium mostly empty, but she didn’t really expect anything else. She’s been to enough of these games to know that some games just are pretty empty. But it is Friday night, so as the first few innings go by, the score staying steady at one run a piece, people begin to filter in, the red seats slowly being filled with people as the sun sets over the stadium, coating the Boston skyline with pink clouds and a red sky that would almost look creepy if not for the way that there’s still light blue mixed into sky.

She looks to her left where Killian is holding up his phone, very obviously taking pictures of the sunset over the stadium.

“You are so basic, KJ.”

“Basic and getting a picture of this sunset.” He turns to her, holding the phone right in front of her face in what she knows is an unflattering angle. “Smile, love.”

“No,” she groans, covering her face and letting her hair fall in front of her eyes. She should have never taken her sunglasses off. “That’s going to look gross.”

“Oh, I don’t know,” Killian laughs, pulling back and flipping through the photos where she pretty much looks like the girl from The Ring with a double chin and only one eye that opens, “I think these look pretty good.”

“Delete those.” “Oh no, I’m keeping them forever. Might even post them online.” “That is a threat that I do not like, and I will unfollow you. That’s one less like on your artsy pictures of your food.” “Oi,” he reaches over and pinches the skin on her inner thigh, “that was one time, and you won’t let it go.”

“You stood up over the table and turned your flashlight on to get good lighting.” “It was a good breakfast.”

“Sure, babe,” she laughs, placing her hand over his on her thigh. “I know you’re just a basic girl on Instagram.”

“Well, in that case,” he yawns, dramatically stretching his arm over her shoulder and yanking her closer, “let’s take a selfie.”

“Oh my God, you are so not smooth.” She can’t stop laughing, is sure that her face is heating from the constant movement, but that doesn’t stop her from leaning her cheek into his and smiling while he holds the phone up and takes several pictures. “But I like your basic girl tendencies.”

“Good, and now I have photos so I can scrapbook my big trip to Boston.”

“Stop,” she groans, burying her head in his shoulder while his entire body shakes in laughter underneath her. He is not going to make a scrapbook. That would just be…ridiculous.

“Never. You want something to eat?”

“Obviously, yes. I thought about just waiting until afterwards so I didn’t spend the money on the overpriced cheeseburger, but I want the damn overpriced cheeseburger.” She gets up from her chair, pulling her shorts up and making sure her sweater is still tucked in. “What do you want?”

“I was going to go get it, Swan.”

“Nah, my treat, KJ. You can stay here and watch this riveting game. There’s so much happening.”

“You say that and something will definitely happen while you’re gone. And I’ll just eat whatever you’re having, but with a water.”

“How do you know I wasn’t going to get a water?”

He taps his forehead, smiling up at her so that his eyes crinkle. “I just know.”

She rolls her eyes before grabbing her purse and maneuvering her way out of their row of seats, apologizing to everyone as she steps over them and blocks their view. There’s a concession stand just outside of their gate, so she quickly slides into line, pulling out her phone and scrolling through Instagram. Maybe she’s a basic girl of Instagram too.

There’s a picture of Leo at the top of her timeline. He’s holding a sign saying he’s going to be a big brother. She likes it, laughing under her breath. Maybe they’ve all fallen into the trap of being basic. It’s whatever. She likes the cute pictures. As she continues to scroll, she sees a hell of a lot of pictures of her old classmates from college standing in front of colorful murals, cheesy captions with them all, as well as one from Victor where he’s posted all of the used coffee cups in his office. Kind of gross but whatever. He works weird shifts.

And then suddenly there’s a picture of her. Well, kind of her. Or at least her hair. Her face is buried in Killian’s shoulder while he smiles at the camera. It must have been when he was taking the pictures and she couldn’t stop laughing. When she slides to the right, there’s a picture of the stadium with the sun setting over it. It really is a good picture.

KillianJonesOfficial: She knocks my (red) sox off.

Her cheeks immediately blush while she likes it, knowing better than to click on the comments. They talked about how things with them would likely go public the more they go out, and she said she was fine with it. She doesn’t necessarily like it, especially if there’s going to be the occasional person following her around, but she also doesn’t want to have to hide away in her apartment when they can go out and do things like this.

Though, Killian probably shouldn’t have posted this while they’re at the game. That doesn’t seem like a good idea.

She eventually gets to the front of the line, ordering their meals and waiting for them to be made until she’s got all of the junk food she needs (she’s definitely going to have to go for a run in the morning) and is making her way back up the stairs, hoping that she doesn’t drop everything while navigating the small aisles.

“Thanks,” Killian says as she hands him his tray and his water, holding down her seat so she doesn’t do something klutzy like fall on her ass.

“Mhm,” she hums, popping a fry in her mouth. As good of a time as she had at dinner the other night, this is her kind of date. “So, um, I see that you’re stealing my jokes for your captions.”

“You are not the only one to ever say that joke.”

“It was still my joke.” She eats another fry as Martinez hits a homerun, something finally happening in the game. Everyone around them cheers, a few wolf whistles thrown around, while music plays over the speakers and the hit is replayed on the jumbotrons. “But I’m glad I make you write cheesy captions. Aren’t you worried about people coming to find you, though? Isn’t that a thing?”

“Aye, but those girls down in front of us have been sneaking pictures of me all night. I figured it was just a matter of time.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be, love. I’m having a bloody good time even if this is the most boring game I’ve ever been to. I was expecting more from the team who beat my Dodgers for the World Series.”

“Ah, I get it now. You’re just salty that you lost.”

“Damn straight. I was at the game.”

“And things just make all the more sense.”

The game finishes a little before nine, most everyone having cleared out already, so as a breeze washes over the night, they make their way back to the parking garage she parked in a few blocks over. Most people are beginning to settle into bars and pubs, a Friday night just beginning for most, and when she suggests that they go to a pub, Killian almost falls out on the sidewalk talking about how his ass hurts from sitting in tiny plastic seats for three hours and how he absolutely cannot sit on anything that’s not a soft cushion. When she teases him about thirty-three hitting him early, he doesn’t say anything, stretching his legs out only for his knees to pop…and then to pop again when he settles down into the passenger seat of her car.

She doesn’t say anything then, just silently reaches over and pats his thigh while they wait in traffic to get out of the garage. He grabs her hand only to put it down and reach over to take her left wrist in his hand, quickly kissing the inside of her wrist. She doesn’t know why he does that, but she’s noticed it over the past week. It happens about as often as he reaches up and scratches behind is ear, and it makes something inside of her flutter. She’s not sure if anything in her body is supposed to flutter, but something does.

Maybe one day she’ll ask him why he does the wrist thing.

Maybe one day she’ll tell him she loves him too.

Once they get away from Fenway, the traffic thins out and it’s a quick drive home, Emma easily pulling into her parking space in front of her apartment and grabbing her bag of work clothes out of her backseat before unlocking the front door of the building and taking the stairs up to her apartment with Killian behind her.

“I’m going to go take a shower, okay?”

Killian nods as he settles himself down on the couch, and she quickly makes her way into the bathroom, turning on the shower and waiting for it to heat while she strips away her clothes and tosses them into her hamper. It’s been a long week, and as much as she loves having Killian here, she hasn’t gotten nearly as much sleep as she usually does. She really likes her sleep.

It’s probably the fastest shower of her life, just a quick rinse off of the sweat and grime collected at the game, before she’s hopping out and wrapping a towel around her chest and in her hair so she can wash her face. She usually does a face mask once a week, and she’s definitely neglected that this week and can already feel herself breaking out. So she slathers on the cream, covering herself in the green mask before sliding on pajama pants and an oversized t-shirt.

When she walks back into the living room, she plops down next to Killian, who is watching Live PD for some reason. Kind of weird but it’s whatever. One of her favorite things about him being here are discovering his weird tendencies that she doesn’t get to see when they’re apart.

“How was your shower, Jim Carrey?”

She turns to look at him, and he’s smirking at her, his lips ticking up to the right while his eyes slant. “What now?”

“Jim Carrey,” he repeats, waving his hand in her face, “you know, like the Mask?”

“Oh my God,” she groans, having to restrain herself from hiding her face in her hands so she doesn’t mess her mask up while it dries, “I knew I should have stayed in the bathroom until I wiped it off.”

“Yeah, that was a horrible mistake on your part, love.”

She chuckles, leaning down into the cushions and watching someone get pulled over for driving without a license or a license plate, which is definitely not a smart move. She lets out a large breath, her stomach extending with the movement. Another thing about Killian being here is that she’s eating a hell of a lot more and going to the gym less.

And sex only counts a little. She’s not going to be one of those weird people who says their gym is the bedroom. Like, why are there people who not only think that but who feel the need to share it with others?

“Do you want to get up and go running in the morning?

“It depends.”

“On what?”

“Are you still going to be wearing that mask? Because I’m just not sure I can be seen with you looking like that.”

#betting on the bullseye #cs fic #cs ff #captain swan fic

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