#and like i dont really have many friends bc so many people just bother me for basically bo valid reason

[eileennatural]

honestly i am pretty concerned about how easily irritated i get like no one else i've ever met has such severe mood swings.... literally sometimes just hearing people being a little bit noisy can set me off and it's not like I do anything about it (besides my severe rbf) but like. I WANT to be nice friendly person and i feel like I used to be? Like in elementary school

[poeticsinnamon]

.

[marioyuri]

Augh frankly i dont want to talk to anyone ever again i just want to go in the woods and fight people until i cant feel the pain from the cold

[liinos]

It makes me fucking insane how grad programs are like oh did you not go immediately into a masters? Well you better have a good reason why or we might not think you deserve to get one bc you're not committed 🤭 omg you didn't cure cancer or solve world inequality before applying? Don't even look in our direction 🤮 it's so great you want to further your education it would really be a shame if we made it as hard as possible 👉👈

[mrfoox]

How to explain to people I care for how special they are to me without being creepy 😔

[misfithive]

Thank you for the way you handled that ask about Wille's and Simon's drama. Because that sentence 'On the other hand, Simon needs to have a bit of more drama thrown at him' made me so furious. It was so insensitive! The fact that he suffers in silence and alone in his room not to bother other people doesn't mean he doesn't suffer enough and needs some more! The fact that he didn't jump on the table or say he feels like dying doesn't make his experience any less traumatic than Wille's. What he needs is to process his trauma rather than brushing it aside, not to get some more.

Once again thank you, you put it all beautifully.

Yes 😭 this is a very common hope for Simon to get pushed to the point of a breakdown but it’s like .. at what cost?😩 He has been thru enough trauma for a lifetime and a half. And the thing is, most people cannot actually stop and process the trauma if they are constantly being hit with more. I think we are more likely to get simon opening up if he is able to find safety which he did not really have. he is expected to be the strong one by everyone in his life. His friends try their best but still, telling him to rebound is the same message him mother gives him of “you are strong”. Bc they dont want him to sit with his feelings and cry (it’s uncomfortable and not the norm for them), they want him to forget about the Prince and move on. Up until s3 he has not had someone to cry to- thats why he writes his songs and holds wille’s sweater. Even when he is talking to Rosh and Ayub in the kitchen if he was actually crying to them i feel they would show it- it appears he probably cried on the way home before they came (this is my hc if yall think he cried to them u can believe that if u want)

i think Simon’s character is very accurate to what a lot of men, people socialized as men, and also people of color experience and how we deal with our emotions. I get that for a lot of people it is cathartic to sob but for many of us, crying like that especially in front of someone else is terrifying. we are conditioned that letting other people see u in that vulnerable state is a weakness (puts you in danger or will be used against you & that anger is safer). I know some men who have not cried since they were children and told me they dont even remember what it feels like to cry or how to actually let the tears fall from their eyes. It is messed up. Is that fair? No. Is it true that it is a weakness? No. But not everyone learns that. The patriarchy sucks and harms us all lol i wish people would understand that and have empathy for the deep sadness that simon is carrying and hiding whether he lets it out or not.

Not to mention everyone deals with their trauma differently and i think it is cool that the show is realistic and shows people dealing with things in different ways. Simons character is relatable bc of this and instead of people saying “it’s not fair that Wille gets to express himself in this way and Simon doesn’t” i want people to think about WHY Simon is not be able to. I know wanting simon to cry comes from a good place but it does upset me a little bit bc even if he doesnt have a breakdown s3, that doesnt mean that the writers hate him and arent doing his story justice which is what people say abt s2. At the same time, if he does have a break down, that would be totally warranted. i'm just saying that if it doesn't happen that's valid too.

THAT BEING SAID. I think s3 is a great opportunity for Simon to hear from Wille that he doesnt always have to be strong and that Wille can be a reliable safe space. I think Wille’s tenderness is something that Simon sees and now that they are on good terms and Wille has worked to rebuild the trust, I hope Simon will turn to Wille for emotional support however that looks.

Ermmmn I’m very sorry that this turned into a dump but i had to get it off my chest.(made a few edits for clarity and spelling mistakes bc i posted this in the middle of the night)

[spearxwind]

not to sound weird but what was that work you put in to get where you are 🙏 i want to improve my life so bad but have no clue where to start. even a general gist of things

You dont sound weird! I think it's commendable to want to change your life for the better, and I want to help in any way I can :D

This is also my own perspective but I think a lot of it could be universally applied if you look at it through different lenses of ppls different situations. This also got rly long so I'm putting it under a readmore ^^;

So I had pretty much been isolating myself with increasing ferocity for years until recently. Even when trying to reach out to people I was extremely closed off, keeping my feelings behind many walls and chains always. A lot of my hard work has come from undoing all of that fuckup. I put all my eggs into my online friendships (and even then had a hard time with them).

My behavior was a cluster of personal garbage, learned mannerisms from keeping bad company, and hardwired reactions to specific behaviors. It's something pretty hurtful to realize when you do realize it, but that doesn't mean that you are a bad person or a failure or anything like that. It just means that you have certain bare minimum survival behaviors that worked before but now are only doing you damage, and you have to learn to undo them. (which is a great step!!)

Which brings me to what I have (painfully) learned over the past several years: the basis to any and every good relationship, romantic, platonic, family, or anything is crystal clear communication. Straight up for the love of god communication skills will save your life time and time and time again

And also like I said in earlier posts the solution to wanting to be more social is just BEING more social. This is arguably extremely hard, especially after years of "if they want me around they'll ask me" and always waiting to be invited but not wanting to bother anyone by asking if you can join NO!!!!!!!! GET THAT SHIT OUT OF YOUR BRAIN EFFECTIVE IMMEDIATELY!!!!! It really does NOT work that way at all. People will invite you to things if they see you express interest in them. The same way that in your head you think 'theyll invite me if they want me to go' if they dont see you express interest people will think you dont want to join. If you go someplace and just stay recluse because youre shy they likely will also think "theyre probably not comfortable or dont want to be here, so we wont force them". People are inherently kind and they are definitely NOT thinking about shunting you on purpose (and I am speaking this, genuinely, from personal experience)

While I was studying my major I got close to a group of people and thought of them as my friend group, but they always seemed cold to me, and I rarely got invited to hangouts because they seemed closer among themselves so I ended up always thinking that they didn't really want me around, and created all of these assumptions in my mind about them or what they thought of me.

Years later, recently, I found one of them again just... randomly while walking through the street and we started talking. And in my much better state of mind I asked about this whole thing because I wanted to know how the rest of the group was doing (I care very much for them still) and he revealed to me that THEY were the ones who thought I was shutting myself off of the group bc I didnt wanna be close to them. Which just blew my mind but it made a lot of sense and explained a lot. I was always on my phone too, talking with my internet friends (because it was my comfort zone), so what they'd assumed was that I already had a friend group that I was invested in and so I wasnt going to prioritize them. SO basically this whole thing ended up being resolved with clear communication and would have been solved much earlier if I had just spoken up about it and gotten braver (though my mental state did not let me at the time)

Anytime you are making up assumptions and ultimatums in your mind without communicating them to the other party you should stop and very much go and speak out loud to the other party (or parties) it will genuinely do you good cause huge as hell brain snowballs do nothing but drown you in your own mind.

Also on the being social front, if you dont have the practice in then it will be hard but a lot of it is very much "fake it till you make it" and I genuinely cannot recommend that enough. Inject yourself into conversations and places and act like yourself unapologetically because the secret isnt to craft a persona that you think people will like, its just being yourself and finding people who will love you for who you are. And like I said I just got invested in other ppls plans and asked to be able to go to places, and oftentimes just by expressing interest i got invited "oh I love this show very much!!" "well we have a plan to watch it at my pals house do you wanna come?" "we were planning on going to X place this week" "omg that sounds so cool can I come with" "of course!" Generally people will respond with "the more the merrier" so please dont be afraid to ask. And even if you get a rejection or two it's fine, don't let it discourage you. Some plans are simply not meant to be, and that's totally fine too!

Something else I worked for was reestablishing contact with old highschool friends I'd lost and I missed terribly. I went out of my way to find them again (old phone numbers, old emails, old instagram accounts that hadnt posted since 2019), and I found them!

And most of them really missed me too and were absolutely thrilled I contacted them again, we picked up right where we left off eight years prior. With a lot to catch up to but its genuinely so nice to have them in my life rather than just melancholically thinking about them and wondering if they hated me or anything. Turns out that they had also thought to contact me as well or had tried and lost my phone, or some of them even thought that it was better to leave things as they were to not "stir up shit" so we were all stuck in the same loop of insane thinking without actually confirming it until one of us (me in this case) finally broke the ice (and it took a damn long time too)

The thing is, people are just like you. We all have our own mental nonsense to fight, and we all have our assumptions and propensity to think ourselves into the grave, that's why its so so so so important to communicate things as clearly and as often as possible. Bearing your suffering alone will only make you miserable in the end, and your circle is there to help you

As a last note, I do want to say I have been incredibly lucky, because the friend group I've been adopted into I have met through that one friend from uni that I just HAPPENED to find on the street. I could have not waved him over on the street and just kept walking with my music on and ignored him. I could have said 'no' to his offer to get dinner that day if I'd wanted to be home earlier. I could have never spoken up about liking eurovision and never gotten invited to the hangout where I met my bf. And none of this would have ever happened at all. But that just strengthens my advice of "just say yes and reach out of your comfort zone" because you never know where it's going to lead you!

All this to say:

Communicate clearly with your peers to reduce misunderstandings. More likely than not they'll be in the same boat as you are. (Also extra note. Communication works BOTH WAYS. It needs to come from both parties. It is also a skill you have to nurture and hone!!)

Be kind!! and be loving!! and be yourself unapologetically!!

reach out to people the same way that you'd want to be reached out to. It sucks that sometimes (even often) you have to be the one to do it, but you eventually reap what you sow and people will learn that they can reach out to YOU

People will respond in kind to you being nice to them and a positive energy in their life. Some people will take advantage of it yes, thats just how things are, and its something you have to learn to recognize but you should never let that steel your heart. It is so so so important to remain kind and loving the world needs it so much. We're all out here trying to make our own lives and our loved ones lives a little bit brighter <3

[correctproseka]

Ok but- and I am saying this with respect for your point of view bc I think you are correct on a wider societal level- I keep seeing this argument of 'There is more m/m fanfic therefore this fandom is lesbiphobic and misogynistic' and it has bothered me for a long time. As a queer girl myself, asexual and somwehere on the aro spectrum, who has many wlw ships and enjoys looking at art for them... I don't enjoy reading wlw or straight fics bc I subconsciously project myself into the relationships too much (this is also why i generally avoid reading straight romance books lol). When I read mlm fic, there's a degree of separation from me that means I can enjoy it without getting anxious about imagining myself in that position.

I'm not trying to be like 'oh woe is me i cant read yuri', im just explaining my own reasons, and trying to get across that other people have their own reasons for what they enjoy- ranging from long winded explanations like mine to 'idk I'm attracted to guys and I like writing about them'. People have preferences, and that comes across in most fandoms, even in heavily female casts like prsk. Like I mentioned, lack of wlw content IS an issue.... when it comes to mainstream media. But when it comes to fanfic... the majority of writers are queer, many are women, hell, some of the most prolific writers of mlm fic I know are lesbians. People have their own reasons for writing what they like, and they do it for FREE. I think it's silly to say a fandom is misogynistic when most of these fandoms are full of queer female writers writing what they want to write.

And again I say this with respect because I do see where you're coming from- instead of saying 'write less mlm', because absolutely one will listen to that.... say 'write more wlw'. Write what you want to see in the world! More fics are always a good thing!! And if you don't want to read about guys, that's what the ao3 filters are for lol.

If you actually read all this, thank you, I really appreciate it. Sorry for yapping in your ask box LOL I just wanted to express my opinion on this topic bc it's something that I care about a lot. Also, like I said, while I don't read fic for it I still love wlw ships so..... ANHANE YURI FOREVER 🌈🌈🌈🌈

See, the thing is, i agree with you, but is that really the only reason for A LOT of people?

What im advocating is not for people to write less mlm, is for they to look at themselves and wonder why they like it more, i know a lot of people who claim to like the boys more for this reason or that, then turn around and act completely misogynistic 5 seconds later, some of them in this fandom, even.

Im just saying that in a fandom with way more girls than boys, it makes not much sense how much more content of the boys there is.

The ao3 filters exist, yes, but they dont stop me from having barely any content even on bigger wlw shipps, from rereading the same fics over and over again because that's all I have for days/weeks, months even on the leoni/mmj side of fandom.

Sincerely, I have myself over 50 prsk fics, only one includes mlm and that one is a multi, focused mainly on platonic ships, and is still somehow my most famous fic.

I see your point, really, and I agree with it, but it only comes so far in a fandom like prsk where there's way more girls, or Alien Stage, that my friend got me into and the girls have been canon for so long but the boys have nearly always been more famous, even before they became "canon". As a wlw enjoyer its tiring to see this over and over again in every fandom im in, you know?

Plus, its not just not writing girls, its how the fandom ACTS with them. Saki as just a fodder for Tsukasa angst, Honami might as well not even exist, Mizuki themselves exist only to be a friend to Rui to a lot of people, An and Kohane? They're only backgrounds on Akitouya, that is when An doesn't get in between the ship, of course. Emu can't even be shipped with one of the boys, because she's a child obviously, but she can be shipped with Nene, just leave her to the side its alright.

Its a lot of double standards, and not only "not writing fics", the fics are just a quick way of showing what I mean.

[jennaissantes]

PLAGIARISM.2 (update on the situation)

hi everyone! so im sure you guys know about the situation right now.

me and vie texted her through wattpad dms and… not surprised how she lied to us tbh.

these are the screenshots of mine and user yoyoriki’s texts:

they even tried to turn it on me saying that I apparently copied them when i wrote the fic back in march last year and they only posted it a couple of months ago if im not wrong.

this clearly shows their attitude towards this wrongdoing. they still didn’t accept their mistake and it really did piss me off. i was very close to raging at them bc they were lying to vie as well.

below are the screenshots between honey (their apparent alias) and vienna:

1.) she says that im their ‘friend’ and that they posted it on my behalf which means i wouldve given them my given permission which is clearly false. i literally have no idea who they are and this is their first lie.

2.) when vie sends them the link to my fic on tumblr, they deny any knowledge of it.

3.) they… ask us for proof?? that theyve stolen my fic??? that was funny like lol everything’s right there haha.

4.) they say they’ve never been on tumblr. but like… where else would they know my fic from. i have never posted it anywhere else and i dont use any other platforms to post my writing work.

5.) the second time vie mentions me, they ask who i am. like lmaoooo just a moment ago u said im your friend and now ur playing dumb? thats js funny bro.

6.) when me and vienna requested her to take it down, they were reluctant at first (u can see from my conversation with them), but then they do take it down, but they blame it on us, saying that we were bothering them and ‘why cant we just let them be and write what they want’. like hello what.

me and vie have both reported and blocked her and i really hope wattpad take some action against them.

i request u to please never encourage plagiarism. its a terrible thing and i know so many people whove been thru it. i really really pray all this comes to an end soon.

once again, please spread the word, in case this is happening to someone else too. and please please, please never ever hide from us if you see rhat someone has stolen our works. please be alert and let us know if you see something.

tagging mutuals (again im rlly sorry for the bother!): @hanniluvi @haknom @haerinz @soov @taejays @amakumos @koishua @urszn @petrichor-han @palajae @wonieleles @goldenhypen @petrichor-han @chiyuv @dearhee @heeracha @yooonz4u @yyunari @enharchive @tyunni @daegall @ddeonuism @kynrki @one16core @dazed-hee (rlly sorry if ive forgotten anyone)

[salted-caramel-tea]

What are your thoughts about?

I was gonna try and collect my thoughts coherently before I started talking bu ti cant be bothered doing that so like. about the dream and that one circle of mcyt that just fucking hate them .

actually this is about how I have felt observing the dream space recently.

im uncomfortable?? not with the dream team, I still really love them and I enjoy their content and I do still watch sap naps streams if im awake for them but honestly taking time just to spend time on my f1 blog has been like a weight lifted from my shoulders.

just talking about dtblr, ive seen people trying to make the best of the situation by live-blogging sapnaps streams making jokes spreading positivity for all 3 of them but it doesn't really of much to take away from the pressure of the situation. Every day it seems like some cc somewhere has something to say about dream or George or sapnap and every day we rush over here to discuss it. it almost feels like theres this pressure to perform and to respond to what is being said, we need to discuss everything as a controversy no matter how stupid or insignificant the situation is and we contribute to the snowballing of tiny things that honestly dont need the attention the theyre getting and its tiring to watch. like im at the point where im scrolling past 'did you see what x said' because honestly I dont give a shit I dont give a shit about a cc who spoke to the dteam on discord maybe twice talking about their 'truth' I really dont care .

im genuinely just fed up with the way the creator space and fan spaces behave. Dream posts 'pls talk to me' and creators say 'but that won't get me clout' back to him.

who gives a shit if dreams stole punz girlfriend. who cares if dream sent a dm that might have been considered rude to Sara Simons a fully grown ducking middle aged woman with better things to do than start twitter drama. who gives a shit about sniff having one insignificant negative interaction with dream over a year. none f this is your fucking turret its just airing out high school level petty drama that could easily be fixed with a fucking dm . its pathetic. the way so many creators are going 'I too am a victim' and its 'he sent me a private message I didnt like' who fucking cares. and all of this 'ill stream explaining my story' what story. that he made a joke in bad taste. its performative. they want views they want twitters support they want to seem like theyre on the RIGHT side so theyre just pulling any old story out of their ass to add to the mentality of the mob and make it seem like yes I too hate dream because he is so awful when in reality he was probably just a bit of a twat like a lot of guys in their early 20s are . the only way hes gonna know that he did something that made u annoyed or upset or even mildly fucking miffed in the case of Sara fucking Simons is if you tell him. and we saw that bc 5 mins later shes saying oh its all fine he messaged me . see how fucking easy it is to actually fix these tiny ass issues if you actually have a conversation before launching a hate campaign on twitter dot com . and people going off to run with it and add it to the pile of 'poof' they have. hell ive seen someone saying they appreciate dream saying they want to talk about situations and saying they want to chat with him about an experience they had with one of his friends like what does that have to do with dream actually why not just take the initiative and talk to the actual person involved instead of making dream do it for u. its all just drama mongering

on a more serious note I really dont know how to feel with the whole situation with caiti. George didi fuck up and im not moving from that stance- whatever happened he made her feel uncomfortable and went on the defence instead of prioritising apologising to her for the way she felt about the situation.

what I cat fucking stand is how weirdly this situation has evolved. the initial statement was that he had touched her waist and tickled her and cat didnt like that. THAT CONTACT the touching of her waist was spread across twitter as a sexual assault. which its fucking not and it pisses me off as a victim to see how loosely terms of sex crime are being thrown around bc no matter how uncomfy you are touching your waist is not a sex crime. there was no mention of inappropriate touching actually, just that he had crossed a physical boundary with her and ive already talked about why I can empathise with that delayed reaction in feeling deeply uncomfortable with the situation . so it confused me as to why people on tiktok were spreading misinformation that his hands were down her pants and cat coming out of left field with he was grabbing my tits. because none of that was ever discussed in any of her prior statement and that seems like pertinent information when were discussing sexual assault. and from what ive seen her friends timeline of events dont match up with hers. her timeline of events onset even match up that well with her other comments on the situation and all of it just feels so fucking odd. why do the details change depending on who you ask and when you ask them

but I wasn't there. I dont know what actually happened. having experienced it you automatically hold that understanding towards her despite all the backlash because people blamed me too, they didnt believe me either and you never want to completely dismiss it no matter how weird the story seems because what if. keeping myself in the situation is stretching myself in two different directions where one is dismissing the claims of assault because nothing adds up and the other is she might be like me .

the reaction to caitis initial statement has snowballed extremely out of proportion if u ask me. nobody needs to know everyones personal grievances with dream or George or sapnap and to say that youre sharing these to support victims is a straight lie bc it has nothing to do with victims they receive nothing from your story that he made a bad joke 3 years ago or whatever and everything to do with the fact that you are utilising an opportunity to gain relevancy again and I dont want to partake in their relevancy.

I dont want to partake in any of this fucking drama actually. it's non stop. it's constant. its all over my dash all day every day but maybe its just the ppl im following idc. but I dont want to come back into a community where im going to find myself fighting to justify why I still enjoy the content of some creators while there are other creators receiving less vitriol for breaking the literal fucking law . its exhausting . its been years of it for me .

im not mentally well. I have a lot going on in my family life and I didnt realise how bad things were until I told my work friend I hadn't seen in a while my 'family drama' and she and the assistant manager pulled me aside and said 'im so sorry youre going through that right now are you dealing with everything alright?'. I have my final exams within the next month. I need to pass these to graduate. I have so much that is already causing me stress in my life and so much of the misinformation around the situation is so triggering and untagged and I dont want to log on and see another bout of 'x responds to x' 'x talks about dream' 'x shares thoughts on George situation' . I cant fucking do that right now.

people have called it the cowards way out, bailing at the burden of controversy but im not switching sides. im not deactivating. im not becoming a dranti. I still talk about the dteam i still like the dteam but I cannot force myself to endure other peoples stresses at the time being . thats all ive been thinking about rlly .

[dennisboobs]

i know peace bc ive never used twitter it seems like ur torturing urself a bit

yeah. but honestly if i can make like. one person stop fucking harassing glenn i'll take it. idgaf about these idiots qrting me trying to make fun of me, i don't want them anywhere near my twt (free blocklist) and they'll forget about it in an hour anyway. but some people have seemingly genuinely thought about it and agreed after a little pushback. it's mostly a bunch of teens who want to be edgy or think glenn has no feelings because he's a C list celebrity with a nice house. i don't think many people bother trying to push back against the accepted culture over there and most of them seemingly don't even think about it. i don't know why but twitter culture just. expects you to be incredibly fucking rude to celebrities on principle even if you like them. and this is. encouraged. and applauded. i think its disgusting, and ive been on the receiving end of parasocial relationships that had people getting overly invested in me and my friend, completely fucking obliterated any boundaries and speculated about our genders/sexuality/relationship so its. kind of personal. i hate to see it and i can empathize with glenn to a degree. especially when like. you compare other clips of him at cons or even on the podcast where he's WAY more reserved talking too deeply abt queer shit vs those encounters with fans, the guy was having the time of his fucking life with a bunch of superfans who let him know how much they care about his work. i really, really wish that we were on our best behaviour and a bunch of fucking 15 yr olds who have never been called a slur a day in their life and don't know the weight of their words weren't creating a hostile space for both sunnytwt and for glenn. why do you, as a fan, not want to be able to interact respectfully with someone you admire? why do you not want to treat him as a human being? like there's a difference between deifying a celeb vs being fucking respectful. it's not like this is elon musk it's fuckin. glenn. like he is so. just a guy. treat him like one. i can't help but feel bad when 90% of what he sees from fans are people in the comments of his posts bullying him. like why would you not want this man to know how insane he makes you on a daily basis. why are you so afraid of expressing genuine emotion that you have to harass him. bc its cringe to say you like sunny? that's the extent of his fucking interactions with fans. of course he's stoked to talk to fans who have actual love for the show. he probably never fucking sees it. and you know. its frustrating to see people who were THERE. interacting with him in person. now doing this shit. my own mutuals were doing that shit. i follow like 6 people on sunnytwt. its just. accepted. idk. i don't know how to phrase this in a way that makes sense but if you enjoy glenn's interactions with the fandom so much maybe dont fucking push him away. if there are a bunch of ppl qrting his old tweets with what seems like actual literal hate. idk. id start deleting if i were him. like there are just zero fucking boundaries and it makes me mad. why would you do this shit when you could take advantage of him being accessible and tell him how much sunny + dennis means to you instead.

[hugheshugs]

for hockey | t. bordeleau

au masterlist

summary: when your brother and dad are out for practice, you're met with unexpected company in your house.

contains/tw: dbf!thomas, dad!brendan, major age gap !!, descriptions of fear/a meltdown, intruders, injury, mentions separated parents.

pairing: dbf!thomas x reader

word count: 1.1k

note: i know this wont sit right with some people (the pairing), with the reader being so young and bordy being like 20 years older, so please dont read it if you're one of those people. this is purely FICTION. nothing really happens in this part bc its like an intro to the AU but i didnt tag my taglist bc i dont wanna make anyone uncomfy <3

ever since you were little, it was apparent that your dad favoured your older brother. and after your mom left, it had almost become neglecting. what bothered you was that he didn't even know what he was doing.

he was just so invested in helping hunter with his nhl career that he'd forgotten about his little girl. having to take on the role of being both a father and a mother to his kids, he couldn't seem to give them equal amounts of parenting.

but no matter how many years went by, you'd never blame him. you set the blame upon your dead beat mother instead.

you were laying in your room when you heard a voice echoing through the house. not thinking much of it, you waited for one of the boys to shout for you like they always do when they remember you're home.

this time, however, they took too long. you began to grow suspicious because the time frame in which they normally call for you had passed. with a sigh, you pushed yourself out of bed, still dressed in your pyjamas as you made your way downstairs.

you could see the entrance as you stood on the final few steps of the staircase. one thing you couldn't see were the shoes they wore to practice everyday. taking a deep breath, you were stuck on what to do. someone was in your house and you were all alone.

your phone was up in your room which meant you'd have to walk all the way back just to grab it. but maybe there was no one here. maybe you'd just been hearing things— you shook your head as you heard the sound of footsteps. you were frozen in place, your heart practically leaping out of your chest as they got closer.

"hello?" the voice called out.

you brought a shakey hand up to your mouth as tears rapidly welled up in your eyes. you were frozen in place. no matter how much you wanted to run—you couldn't. no one should be in your house. no one else had a key other than the three of you.

the man's feet approached the staircase from your right. you could see him walking towards you with your peripheral vision. as he caught sight of you, now standing at the foot of the staircase, you both let out a loud scream.

"please don't hurt me!" you exclaimed, scrambling to run upstairs. your foot got caught and you fell, taking a blow to your cheek.

"no, no, i'd never hurt you!" the man shook his head, arms reaching out instinctively. you only looked back at him and crawled further up, away from him with trembling breaths. "what are you doing here?"

"wha— i-i live here. why are you here? what do you want from us?" you asked, voice thick with fear.

your questions went in one ear and out the other for a couple moments as he took in the situation. he recognized the worry and anxiety on your face, and his heart ached. he didn't know who you were but your eyes looked so familiar, and as far as he knew, no one was supposed to be home.

"i— this is my friend's house," he replied softly, hoping not to scare you any further. you swallowed the lump in your throat, the beat in your chest telling you not to trust the stranger.

you sniffled, finally turning your body towards him. "y-your friend?"

he winced at the gash on your face, watching as you tilted your head in confusion while sitting on the step.

"brendan," he let out a breath. "briss— brisson, brendan brisson."

"my dad?" you asked quietly, using the back of your hand to wipe the tears off your face. humiliation instantly seeped through your veins and all you could hope was that this man wasn't important.

"you— he has a daughter?" he asked a bit shocked. never once had his friend mentioned anything about having a girl. he only knew about hunter.

"i've known him for ages. he let me, um, he gave me a key this morning," he tried to explain. "i was just here to grab some more equipment. you know, for hockey."

"right," your bottom lip wobbled. "for hockey.. my name's y/n."

"thomas. nice to meet you."

--

"y/n! it's dinner time," brendan shouted from the foot of the stairs.

he heard a faint 'i'm coming!' before walking back to the dinner table where hunter sat. they hadn't seen you all day, seeing as you were hiding the injury on your face. you'd tried covering it up with some makeup but it was a pathetic attempt.

"tomorrow we're going to work on your shot.." you heard your dad speaking as you walked towards them.

you took a seat with your head down, holding the right side of your face in the palm of your hand. to anyone it would look like you were fine, perching an elbow onto the table to make it believable.

"hey, sweetheart. we haven't seen you all day, where were you?" brendan asked you before taking a bite of whatever healthy dinner he'd made for tonight.

"oh, you know.. just studying," you shrugged, looking down at your plate. a layer of salad with a fat slab of roasted chicken breast on top. yum.

"that's my girl. now c'mon, eat up and get some rest. it's been a late night."

you nodded, picking up your fork in your left hand. hunter furrowed his eyebrows from his seat across the table. "what are you doing?"

"what do you mean?" you asked, feigning innocence.

he gave you a are you serious look. "left hand. really?"

"i-i wanna try something new," you told him. "i wanna be ambidextrous. any problem with that?"

"weirdo," he scoffed, leaving you alone.

your dad silently watched from beside you, judging as you struggled to pick up the salad.

"y/n, for the love of god, please use your other hand. this is brutal to watch," he practically begged after a couple moments.

hunter snickered. "yeah, y/n. for the love of god."

"no, i'm good," you shook your head, slowly balancing the lettuce on your fork as you brought it to your mouth. you were just millimeters away before it fell onto your lap.

"y/n—"

"it's okay! i'll just try again," you insisted.

"one more time. if you don't get it in your mouth this time, you're using your right hand," brendan finalized.

"don't worry, dad. i got this," you muttered before stabbing one end of the chicken and bringing it up to your mouth. you tilted your head up to take a bite out of it, the other two watching in both distgust and awe.

"see," you replied with a mouthful. "i did it."

--

next part ->

[wearequeer-andwearehere]

can i be a lesbian who uses he/him pronouns? my reasoning for this is:

i am afab, i like girls, and i do not want to medically transition. i cannot even wear a binder and stuff as I’d like to for a good many years until i’m out of my parents house. i don’t use labels for my gender but if i did have to label my gender identity it would be something like genderfluid and agender. i dont feel like i have a gender but i fluctuate between feeling like i want to present masculine and use he/him, like i wanna present adroynous and use they/them, like i wanna present as feminine and use she/her. but i feel masc presenting and comfy w/ he/him most of the time. however, i’m only out to like two people, and both of them, while queer or a good ally, still see me as a girl bc i go the same girls school as them, cant present as masc, etc. and it’s obviously the same everywhere else - society, friends, family, treat me like a girl, even if i’m not one. i grew up as girl, i feel like - i only started feeling like i wanted to use he/him and present as masc in my late teens. and i like girls! i love girls. and my love for girls and for women is so shaped my the fact that i spent most of my life as a girl (feeling like one, that is), so shaped my the fact that society and friends and family perceive me as a girl even tho i’m not. that’s why calling myself straight would feel…. wrong, at least to me, you know? bc. yeah. i do wanna present as masc and use he/him pronouns most of the time. but i’m never really gonna be seen as a boy by most people. i wasn’t a boy for most of my life. and my love for girls and women is shaped so much by those two things that i feel comfortable with the term lesbian, while simultaneously wanting to be addressed by he/him pronouns. so, like….. it feels so awful, i feel like such a terrible person. bc i’be spent so long fighting myself out and now that i finally feel like i’m comfy with my identity i don’t actually feel comfortable at all, i feel like i’m hurting women, or i’m stupid. i just saw a post the other day that said smth like ‘while every1 can identify as they wish it bothers me that he/him ppl use the term lesbian, as women need a term solely for women who like women’ which, like. i feel terrible about. women have been through so much already for all of history, there’s a reason l comes before g in the acronym, and i don’t wanna stomp on them and all the progress they’ve made, i don’t want to be a bad person…. But at the same time, oh god, after years of trying to figure myself out, i finally feel like i have. and i’m happy with that fact, really happy. but i’m also so angry at myself bc i don’t wanna harm the community by using a label that maybe doesn’t belong to me…? is it ok for me to use the term lesbian and he/him pronouns, or should i just… not? idkkk😭

Of course you can man fuck yeah!!!!!! You can do whatever you want forever of course you can be a he/him lesbian!!!!!!

You’re not a terrible person, you’re not stupid, and you’re not hurting anyone. A lot of lesbians have complex relationships with gender and aren’t just Cis Women. You can be a masc lesbian, be agender and genderfluid, and use he/him!! The Queer Police aren’t gonna break your door down homie do what feels comfortable with your identity!!

There’s a long history of he/him lesbians and you’re not hurting anyone. If you wanna use he/him, use he/him.

The foundation of the queer community is to allow people to express themselves, be happy and comfortable in who they are. You’re not harming anyone in the least—you are what this community is all about. Be who you are, and if who you are is a lesbian who wants to use he/him, go ahead!!!!

Sending love, and I hope I could help you out <3

[unadulterated-syd]

a/n —

+ i wrote this for myself bc i just got my license and it really stressed me out.. so its very ooc but i don't want ANY comments about it being ooc bc it was MY outlet.

+ again this is for me so he did in fact say bubs, plus im american so im SORRY theres no cool slang in there my british impression is awful and im not trying

+ lastly i didn't edit this so shhhh,, im tagging normal people if u dont want tags that im unsure of pls just ignore this im in an era plus reader refers to them as boyfriends just read it diff if you want its okay theyre forbidden gay or not

» [rocky horror -> billy cobb] «

0:00 ─〇───── 0:00

⇄ ◃◃ ⅠⅠ ▹▹ ↻

staying up late, i should go to sleep.

wandering the halls was not unusual to you, practically an everynight occurence by now. being a prefect, they let you get away with it.

having practically been adopted by minevera and poppy— they understood your trouble with sleeping. they understood why, and they understood aimless walking helped.

they'd always stood in and gave a good word, dumbledore couldn't have been bothered to punish you anywho. some nights you'd even wonder drunkly, mumbling to yourself as you let students slip passed you without punishment.

you had a name to uphold— but you far from respected or supported your family. one of blood supremacy and hypocricy, unfortunately the children of families like yours were forced to adult more than those of age.

you were just like that, so much weight on your shoulders that you far from bothered to let your thoughts hurt you. you'd become responsible for ignoring them.

similarly, you'd become familiar with sirius black through this similar ideaology. familiar. you were far from 'friends', though people with similar stories, two who found comfort in one another from afar.

this led you to be familiar with all the marauders, though you'd far from a mustered a word to any of them— they knew you were on their team, when needed. at any word you'd betray your dreaded house.

i should go to sleep, its tuesday but i can't stop— thinking of your skin

there was one exception to your marauders rule, you had spoken to one. more than spoken, you'd held dear on many occasions. whom cared to much fot everyone around him.

you'd been practically forced to a gryffindor party— sirius had insisted on you recieving an invitation, though he was not the messenger.

he'd begged regulus to offer you the invite, even though he hadn't invited his younger brother. eventually, regulus gave in. you felt obligated to go, with how much trouble he went through to get you there, how could you refuse?

however, no one seemed interested in you being there. weird looks from many angles, strange glances your way. with the exception of one individual.

james fleamont potter.

james had practically thrown himself at you, a million questions filling the air before you could even shake his hand. regardless, you answered every question, and he listened to every answer.

when he'd realized you came alone— he vowed to spend the night by your side. introducing you here and there, inviting you to random drinking games.

and at some point something had clicked in the both of you.

you could hardly remember, but it was spin the bottle— or perhaps seven minutes in heaven? it didn't matter what game it was, you just remember you'd kissed and sparks flew.

you were both so drunk you didn't know if james remembered anything either, you just remember him. they way he smelled, the way he smiled at everthing you said, the way he looked at you.

he treated you like the world revolved around you, he was the earth circling around you. but it only lasted that night, because when he'd found you the next day he'd lost the courage to speak to you.

you still had your reputation— more than half the school still saw you as an enemy. you were a cruel and feelingless person to them. so how could james fleamont potter ever justify you wanting to be with him?

i've been known to be a hopeless, no good, nobody. and they're right.

you could sense why he didn't come back, though you'd assigned a much different explaination than he.

you were a bad look on his reputation, an outstanding quidditch player. an outstanding gryffindor, brave and caring. the real question was never why would you want to be with him, but rather why could he want to be with you.

not that it mattered anymore.

you knew you were a hopeless case— sirius had changed, he'd fix his side and found a way out. but you hadn't, and likely you never would.

you had no friends, you spent no time partying, with the exception of sirius' one invitation. you were a nobody. scary to anyone who hadn't heard sirius' tales of you, worthless to anyone in your own house.

you somehow rubbed everyone around you the wrong way— a bloodtraitor to your family, a blood supremesist to people whom you wanted to defend, not enough to all your slytherin peers.

it made sense that he never came back. he must've been ashamed to some extent, he was so much more than you'd ever be.

i know your eyes can see right through me. but believe me, it's my pleasure.

tonight went differently for you, your restlessness brought you near the gryffindor tower.

deep down something within you begged for you to sneak your way in and find james. but your mind would never let you, there was no chance you'd ever have the bravery to do so.

in all ways, you knew even if you had he'd understand too much. he knew your every feeling, even if you kept it hidden.

after one night of gestures you knew he was your perfect second half, he knew you more than you knew yourself. and oddly enough, you returned that.

you knew he drained himself, he was too compassionate for his own good. you knew he could never love you publically because no one knew you.

no one knew your parents hated you, no one knew it was because you'd defended muggleborn peers, no one knew you had plans of running away.

no one knew you'd never get that mark, that you'd never defend it's honor. but he did, and that's why you both stood at a crossroads.

he had a reputation too.

one that no one saw through, everyone believed they knew him. he could do no wrong, and too anyone you two were polar opposites. but too eachother you were practically the same.

you cared too much, just like him. you drained yourself with worry, and he knew how much it'd taken you to get over the fact you'd never be the perfect kid.

you'd never be what your parents wanted, you'd never be cherished like him. unless it was by him.

and something inside you found it comforting, the idea for once you couldn't lie. because he'd never fall for it.

he was the same as you, and he knew you didn't need fixing. you weren't broken, and neither was he. flawed, possibly. and that was the most comforting thing about him.

he didn't need to work for you, and you didn't need to work for him.

i miss the sea, i miss it's sandy beaches, salty breeze. and it reminds me of you.

because it's so sweet, you're so sweet, you're so sweet.

knocking on your head, you'd come to the conclusion you needed to leave. find your way back to your room, and move on.

in a way you felt hollow for having a heart, as if your brain could only be seen as brilliant if your heart stayed cold. because your heart led you to a common room of people who hated you— whilst your brain begged you to forget and regret.

but once again he showed how similar you two were. as if he'd known you'd he at there, he appeared at the portrait. he looked sleepless, suprised that you were there, yet also as if he'd been expecting you.

"y/n?"

he looked like a painting to you, groggily rubbing his eyes, voice the same as always. trying to illude to the idea he'd been sleeping— though you saw right through him.

"james.."

"what're you doing here?" he stepped out, closing the painting behind him.

you took a deep breath, weighing your head and your heart— as if it mattered. he saw right through you, even if you lied right to his face.

"did you need something..?"

"you."

his eyes widened only slightly, he knew why you were there but the clarity was almost frightening. he couldn't lie to himself anymore, because you'd come clean to his face.

"i know i disappeared im sorry, i know you've got a reputation, i know.. i just—" you sighed, fumbling with your words, "nobody knows me like you james, and all it took was a day for you to see me. i mean.. i missed you. us? its cheesey i know but.."

"one moment."

you watched him disappear into the common room, leaving you with your thoughts. your head was spinning, there were butterflies hitting every wall of your stomach, had it been too much for him? had you read him wrong?

he came out a moment later, a jacket wrapped around his shoulders, wand in hand. he stood with a second coat in his other hand, one which he held out to you.

you took it, pulling it on— even if you didn't know his plans, then he held his now free hand out, you took it.

"how about a walk?" he gave you a smile, pulling you along.

you two indulged in a comfortable silence, you just enjoyed holding his hand. even if you weren't sure it'd happen again.

i dont care how you want me to live my life, as long as i'm in yours.

he didn't lead you anywhere in particular, leaving you the silence you needed to grow the courage to open up.

and eventually it worked.

"i'm sorry i came so late, i didn't think you'd even catch me."

"i wasn't sleeping anyway, you can always show up." he looked at you again, raising a brow, "what's wrong, bubs?"

you could feel his thumb rub over your knuckles, it felt endearing. the way he acted, the way he treated you, it was as if the two of you had been dating an eternity. however, you'd never even started dating.

i know how whiney i sound right now, but i can't help myself.

"i think—" you sighed, stopping in your spot, leading him to do the same. you could feel his eyes on you, he couldn't read you anymore, and it scared him. "i think i really like you, james."

"i mean like.. like boyfriends? like i want to get out of my house, finally befriend sirius.. i mean not be whatever the hell everyone thinks i am— i want to be whatever you want i just want to be with you."

he looked at you hesitantly for a moment— he wasn't pondering whether he wanted to be with you or not, rather trying to decide how to proceed.

"i've been waiting to hear that." he turned fully to face you, "but, i like you too. this way, you don't have to be different. just what you want to be."

i know your eyes can see right through me.

james tags -> @nyxxxxxxxx , @innerloverpainter , @carlgrimesslover , @nutellani , @angry-little-frog @loving-and-dreaming

marauders tags -> @withastrangerheart

do NOT critize this one i will CRY.

also the song is rocky horror by billy cobb,, its not every1s cup of tea but i <3 it

[jingsyuans]

(this is the same anon talking abt the problem with unspecified gendered readers being feminized in fics as a male reader, jing yuan hyperfixee yada yada.. i'll start putting a little 🌙 emoji every time i make these asks bc i honestly like sending these in to have these sorts of conversations LOL)

here's my perspective in all honesty— i'm not someone who reads smut for the exact reason you specified!! sometimes i'll skim over out of pure curiosity and from what i see its like.. "this is not ____ what????" bc so many writers like to water down their personalities for the sex appeal like you said— like it'll be the BIGGEST of sweethearts and then they'll be written like some sorta discord moderator ☠️☠️

which, like i said, is a reason why i dont read smut bc i totally agree with you with the fact that i prefer reading stuff where it actually. feels like the character (like ur content.. mwah)

tbh — i don't really care if people don't write content specifically catered to males ! cuz like u said i understand the difficulty especially w/ smut when ur just super unfamiliar with it ++ writers will tend to project too, i just dislike when it almost misleads you when they say its genderneutral and then immediately uses pronouns or fem terms HAHA

(i will be dropping into your inbox from time to time bc i also like to ramble and not many of my friends like hsr so i have nobody to share my silly little headcanons and thoughts with.. :3)

Yeahhh lol smut is very... specific, especially on tumblr. It's taken me a long time to realize the different brands of writers on this site. There's a lot of blogs that have high followings, and I think it's more about quantity than quality. A lot of writers will write for several characters all at once, and there's a bigger demand for their writing because of their content and popularity. Hence, you're making things a lot quicker, focusing more on things like the quality of the smut rather than the portrayal of the character. Characters will get narrowed down into sections- dominant, submissive, or S&M daddy. Lol. It works for some people, but not really for me.

A little off topic but in the same breath of things being fem/neutral/male ... every so often when i browse tags, i see people complaining about how there isn't enough content for m!readers or neutral, sometimes I even see posts where people don't want fem aligned persons to interact with their posts period "because its not for you, you already have enough". That whole mentality bothers me. (I'm about to go on a tangent, and this is thoughts of my own, nothing to do with what you've said, just in case you think im talking about you or anything like that)

It's true that fem readers are the majority, and it's because women take up the majority of fandom. From most to least in every fandom to exist, its afab women, gender neutral afab persons, ftm men, and then in the lesser pool is gn amab persons. Somewhere in there is mtf and i have no idea where they lie in the pool honestly. This is just my observation from being in fandom for awhile and being ftm once upon a time (before people yell at me, im more comfortably genderfluid now and rather lax about my presentation and gender nowadays, but i used to be dysphoric and was transitioning strictly to male). It makes sense that AFAB readers are the majority considering the people behind the content. You come a long way before you realize that there's literally nothing wrong with this.

I used to get upset about lack of representation in fics as well, especially when i was transitioning. I was extremely petty and hateful toward writers that were in the majority and toward women in fandom. It wasn't until i decided to grow up that i realized this wasn't helping anything, it was just keeping me in a bad headspace to think that complaining and hatred was my answer. My answer was finding a community of my own and writing my own fics, feeding myself the content i wanted to read. Realizing it was nobodies responsibility to create content for me besides my own. Is it nice when you get lucky and find that content? Of course. It's such a wonderful treat. But you are not due that content, nobody on the internet should have the expectation they will be catered to. To believe they are owed it. We are owed nothing from strangers.

People need to realize that writers on tumblr or otherwise, for reader inserts or ships, we don't write for the audience. It's part of it, yes, because its fun to share and motivating. But its no one's responsibility to represent and carry a community on their shoulders. If someone is going to write fem aligned reader insert smut, that was birthed out of their desire to write it and eat it whole. It was made for them and expressed outward onto the internet for others to enjoy if they have the same interest. But it isn't anyone's responsibility or need to write for you, to write for GN readers if they dont want to. It doesnt make them transphobic or narrow minded. It will make YOU narrow minded if you believe you deserve content just because you're part of a minority and if you arent catered to, you're allowed to be spiteful.

Open mindedness goes a long way. I've become a lot happier ever since I realized that people lead their own lives, create their own content for the sake of making themselves happy, and I do the exact same. I don't owe anyone anything. The internet can become a hive mind and what seems like a reality of it's own, but truthfully everything is surface level. Nothing matters if you don't want it to. Catering your own experience is amazing once you realize you have the ability.

Anyway i rambled AGAIN. These are my thoughts. Have at them.

[starfall-sea]

hey bae any help on getting good gear i’m lvl 105 or smth and i spend all my crowns on henchmen it’s rly embarrassing 😭😭 i’m fire school too but i just never learned abt gear

of course ok ok so. heres ✨starfall sea's gear guide✨

note that u dont need a full set of any of these

under level 30

not a big deal here. check the bazaar, look at the gear you get from questing, etc

krokotopia has a gear set that's ok for the levels you get it at. youll get a bunch of the world gear sets just questing thru their respective worlds

30-60

olympus! olympus gear will last you to level 60

you'll probably end up with 100000 sky iron hastas just by running olympus like 3 times. this is good. sky iron hasta is your friend

the celestian gear sets are also pretty decent! not as good as olympus, but you'll end up with 1000000 of these pieces just by questing thru celestia so there's no farming involved

also: random wintertusk gear can be pretty good as well. i got some good athames/rings that i used until like, azteca iirc

60-100

waterworks time . waterworks will last you until lvl 100

evaluate how you're doing at lvl 90, and if you think you need better gear run tartarus a few times (but darkmoor is only 10 lvls away, so keep that in mind too)

idk about atlantea. i dont think many people really bother with it?

some of the azteca athames/rings were upgrades for me personally

100-160

darkmoor at lvl 100

listen im sure there's better gear to be found in between darkmoor and the aeon gear. but i dont really know about it and frankly half a darkmoor set lasted me for ages

i did check the bazaar & looked at the gear i got just from questing though. i think i got a few wand upgrades. always check the random gear u get as you go along, youll never know when you might have an upgrade in ur backpack!

EDIT. look below for some 130 gear advice 👍

160+

aeon gear from novus is great! its the only set i've ever really farmed (bc i got stuck in wallaru lol)

the latest (170) tier of hat/robes/boots/wands isnt out yet, but wallaru does have upgrades for everything else! i havent spent much time going for them, but here's a guide

also feels weird plugging my own post. but i did just post a thing on like, tips and tricks and whatnot. might help?

EDIT: great addition from @stormbreaker101 in the tags! i completely forgot about the dragoon gear