#uuh im mentally ill

[vorttex]

oh, don't mind me, im just masking my disorder for you to like me

[sapp0w0]

Silly fact. I have a whole 8hr playlist dedicated to synchroship

(N it'll only continue to grow)

[laprimera]

alrighty so after some reflection and getting some outside stuff prioritized Im done some blog housework so I can get comfortable here again.

im still gonna continue my hiatus until november cause the rest of October still has a lot of rl appointments and stuff going on. ill be nuking my ask and drafts to get into maximum turtle plot overdrive and just start things clean, but here's the skinny under cut:

. Ive went and cleaned up my followers list. mostly of inactive blogs, non-mutual or blogs that haven't reached out or interacted at all. I use to think I liked a busier dash but I think trying to keep up with it had been giving me anxiety even if my muses weren't involved in anything plot wise. FOMO has been really killing my vibe more then anything and I need to cut that habit out.

you're a-okay to refollow though! I'll do the same. none of this was done out of malice or a personal dislike, and I get being so busy w/ life and personal plots that you cant interact with everyone in a convenient moment. but if you see this as an opportunity to reach out then by all means! that and I might've accidentally unfollowed one or two of you cause side-blog deal, clumbsy thumbs, and uuh, dont mind me realizing that later down the line-my bad!

. unless carefully plotted otherwise, anything outside my own canons, affiliated blogs/mains or plots is no longer canon to my own. any interaction or thread initiated towards my muses will default fall into my lore/verse unless vice versa or its plotted and etc etc. It's no longer just hanging there in the void so to speak. I need to feel more in control of my own narrative I think and trying to puzzle a lot of contradicting outside plots, dash events, etc has been mentally taxing when rp shouldn't be occupying so much space or anxiety to begin with lol.

this isn't to say everything thats happening in the dash or w/ other characters isn't important ofc! and I still want to participate; it'll just fall under a crack/non-canon tag. if things end up lining up p' well with whats going on here then I might take it into canon. This is p' much what I've been doing to begin with, it's just more concrete now and Im being more careful of what Im willing to accept now. Im ofc open to discussing stuff! DMs and disco for those who have it are open always even if I take a moment to get to it!

. Im no longer answering anon asks that are personal in some way, ie, around subject matters that aren't general headcanons asks or 'hey how do you feel about-' sorta deal. I dont feel comfortable taking it to public and while I understand having the fear of being identified, it's not fair if I'm the only one bearing the subject so to speak. If you want to talk to me through DMs you can either tell me your UN (no burners either) so I can bypass permissions here to chat or you can reach me at @shiny-miltank where my IMs are not barred to mutuals only. I don't bite really! and my discord is not public. tbh Im still very anxious about being on disco to begin w/ cause social anxiety flare ups. idk tumblr dms always seemed easier to chat until I know you on a personal basis-its just worked that way.

. making it more strict that you dont? put my geeta in place of plots, events, etc that I havent participated or plotted with, nor can you make assumptions for them based on said events. as slapped on every piece on my about/rules/pinned/etc shes heavily canon-divergent to begin with so no one knows her intentions/actions (save for me ofc) and wont act in what presumed canon-geeta would do or your own version so to speak. easy enough to slap me an IM for "is it okay to-", plotting, or just make a nebulous npc stand-in.

. things that havent changed are the use of my lore and headcanons into your own! I love seeing it integrated or adapted into other lore and seeing just how much it inspires and changes over time!

this all seems rigid but really it's just reiterating whats already in my rules and no one here has been a huge offender at all :' ) this is more for me to follow and I cant thank everyone enough for their patience and creativity for as long as I've been here. Im loosey goosey and go with the flow 90 out of 100 times.

this goes for the rest of my muses, which Ill probably clean up when Im back-but yeah! miss ya'll! hope you've been doin' good! the terrapagos plot will continue then and Ill resume reaching out and leaving details! hopefully in time for dlc ; >

[beloved-angel]

Angel.

This is just Angel ' s secondary blog. I'm known as ☁️ anon sometimes, but I may go as 🪽 Anon so I may have been floating around in your inbox, who knows?

This deviates from the main, in which I'm in a "proper appearance" Mode primarily, I'm more "Angel " here. Yknow, anxious, self depreciating, Yandere/obsessive, and a horny little thing. May go for a cutesy aesthetic once in a while.

This isn't a fully sfw blog, unfortunately. So a warning for everyone. This blog may also contain a bunch of mentally ill rantings and me just being a sad hunk of meat sk again, please come in with caution (and a hazmat suit.)

That's enough of my rambling, uuh tagging @somewhat-very-insane (becus that's the first one im tell because i am sad and I love him and I sometimes need reassurance and reminders to do basic life things and im their sad pathetic wet gf yk?? Am i asking for too much i sorry-)

Anyway, Merry Christmas and to all a goodnight.

[fearyandear]

Sooo uuuh yeeaaah Im starting to put posts in queue because i feel bad mass-reblogging stuff as if its spam 👉 👈 And uuh.

Please dont judge me when you see the mental illness i have suddenly gained for societyboy from Blooming Panic

[elevenses]

im watching a yt video with my boyfriend about a youtuber from back in the day uuh smth like aspoonyone? i didnt know him before and i was like hmm hes kinda pretty

and he turns and goes go figure u like him hes crazy (as in mentally ill) too (also they kinda share some facial features) :3

[lemmymade]

cw: uuh self harm mention, suicide attempt mention, alcohol? alcoholic? mention,,,

do you know how hard it is to hear that your younger sister who is five years younger than you, a recovering alcoholic and self harmer who has been in the hospital multiple times for suicide attempts.... promise to take you out of the shitty little city you live in when she's old enough to get her trust fund that she gained when she was a child due to an accident? someone who desperately needs help and to be taken care of? do you know how hard it is to hear her promise to take care of you? she's had such a horrible life and made shitty choices but that's my baby sister and i love her!! so much!! ever since she started struggling ive wanted the ability to be able to live on my own so i could take her in and give her a home but my mental health is so fucked up ive never had the ability to even try! I've wanted to help her for so long but I was never able to and now she wants to help me when all ive ever done is struggle to take care of my basic needs, struggle to even get out of bed, struggle to even keep in contact with her when she needed it because i felt like we were so far apart i could never be what she needed and yet she wants to help me

i don't even know if her promises were just wishful thinking or actual plans but it was so hard to hear when ive been such a shitty older sibling to her. she's not even an adult. she shouldn't have to take care of me and yet despite how bad ive been at helping her she wants only me to come with her when she has the chance to leave this shitty city. the only thing ive ever done for her is to be a person she can rant and vent to without any judgment. that's all ive been for her and she still promised me all that.

im not a healthy person. i don't know if ill even be good for her when im not even good for myself.

[leaf-kins]

OK UUH SORRY FOR NOT ANSWERING REQUESTS BUT UM MY BLOG IS ON HIATUS DUE TO MENTAL ISSUES RIGHT NOW ILL TRY MY BEST TO GET TO EVERYONES REQUESTS WHEN IM FEELING BETTER! /GEN

please follow my main blog @sc4tterbr41n3d for regular posts :)

[theunconcernedembalmer]

Part 1 // Part 2 // Part 3 // Part 4 // Part 5 // Part 6 //  Part 7

wheezes im finally done. the obligatory elisop

im gonna end the exorcist event soon its really gone on for so long XD thank you all so much for supporting me and this blog and this event and i hope yalls enjoyed it!!!

[i-maybe-exist]

i can like. Feel myself decomposing on the spot

[voretwins]

when we had the tazhctime thing (last week? the week before that?? i dont understand time what day is it today) i got a lot of submissions nd asks about ocd magnus and i related to them UH a lot and yeah long story short i may possibly have ocd so

[opossumstrashbin]

HIIII ive been away for a while uhh heres some news

- i got a fucking phone for the first time ever, i love it so much lol

- my snails are doing good :)

- planted rosemary and some acorns!!

- sorted out all of my tubs and boxes and bottles, my specials are 2 cigarette boxes and 1 tic tac box

- THE FIRST BOX OF SHINIES IS FULL AND COMPLETE, THE SECOND ONE IS ON ITS WAY TO BEING FULL :)

- uhh pressed more flowers and leaves and im currently pressing some rn, fun fact the way i press mine is a put them in a big dictionary then put another dictionary on top and then something heavy, it works very well

- ran out of candles :( i have a ton of leftover wax but idk how to make new candles someone pls help im broke

- i found more bones hehe

- found a birds nest! i put it in a basket

- i also found a giant pinecone from the other side of my neighborhood lol

- i think my snails had a fucking child but theres only 1?

- JUICE

- my room is updated, uuh its comfy but not aesthetic?? its a mess of plants and clothes and art supplies ex dee there is 0 organization i currently have... uhh 2 journals, a pair of scissors, a big lighter, chapstick, string, a jar of kandi beads, a bag, a pencil pouch, a beanie, all of my kandi cuffs and bracelets, erasers, water bottles, tape, fidget toys, a remote, trash, a sketchbook, a mousepad and a mouse, and chargers ALL in my bed, i sleep in this pile of undiagnosed mental illness

- theres a spider corpse on my wall </3

i think thats it ex dee goodnight its almost 1 am over here lol

[ivurisuremade]

hey so i’m sorry if i come off whiny, it’s not my intention, but PLS like my personal posts if you see them! it doesn’t have to be constant or anything but i’m kinda dependent on attention at times & my mood drops rly quick otherwise, so i’d rly appreciate this ty. <3

[sirrriusblack]

post the funniest responses you get for the last question on the quiz please i'm desperate to see this

oo okay yes,, it’s got over 30,000 takes so i definitely haven’t read all of them but here are some i liked:

“my favourite rat is simon seville” pardon me but he’s a fucking chipmunk

“i like trains?”

“swag”

“my favourite kind of sandwich is a banana sandwich. bread mayo banana mayo bread” i’m so fucking tired. i hope this is a joke.

“orange... she is under appreciated”

“i like the colour green you seem like a trustworthy person” thank you, stranger

“im making a playlist called ‘songs to drown sailors to” please if you see this,, send it to me, oh my gosh

“i would die for klaus hargreeves” me too

“PUSSY”

“i learned this joke from a 4th grader and i fucking love it so much: why did the chicken go to the seance? to get to the other side.”

“i love me some kiwis. those shits are scrumdiddilyumptious ???”

“women”

“uuh mental ill”

“my favourite colour is black. it reminds me of my future.”

“you should try chocolate orange.” i certainly will not, thank you

my favourite thing is my wosh and if you don’t know what that is you should look it up.” i did look it up and where do i get one i need it immediately”

“I’M MUTATING” WHY?!

[sarcasm-is-my-native-tounge]

Get to know me tag

I was tagged by @flames-bring-a-ton-of-ash and ya know what fuck it I'm bored. Enjoy.

Nickname: Never really had one but in high school a bunch of friends started spelling my name "Saruh" and it kinda stuck. They still do 99% of the time. Close enough?

Real name: Sarah

Zodiac Sign: Capricorn babey

Favorite musicians or Bands: My favorite was and always will be Disturbed and lately i have been obsessed with Hozier (i fully blame Tumblr but the man is v talented)

Favorite sports teams: I have never and will never willingly watch any sporting event or support a team. Lol.

Other Blogs: None. All y'all get to deal with my mess of meme and fandom shit combined. I'm not mentally organized enough to run more than one at a time.

Do I get asks: Nope! No one cares! Lmao

Number of blogs I follow: 135 (not as many as I thought wow)

Tumblr crushes: Don't really have any? I just appreciate y'all

Lucky Number: 25

What I'm wearing right now: Green tank top and maroon sweatpants. Because I am not going outside.

Dream vacation: Probablyyyyyy Ireland and like... Italy. Just spend a long time in both countries. Preferrably when there isnt a massive virus outbreak but you know how it is.

Dream Car: anything that takes minimal effort to take care of and has good gas mileage. Dont really give a shit.

Favorite food: breakfast burritos.

Drink of choice: either a whiskey sour or like a screwdriver i guess. Love me some juice.

Instruments: played the clarinet like 12 years ago but thats about it

Languages: yeah i barley speak English. I wanna learn others though.

Celebrity Crushes: Hoooo boy uuh ill keep the list short but the top 2 are David Harbour and Jeffrey Dean Morgan.

Random Fact: im doing this to procrastinate cleaning my kitchen. Also my thumbs are double jointed.

Im supposed to tag 21 other people to do this but I am lazy so if you see this and want to do one yourself just say i tagged you 😬

[mettaobsessed]

lmaoooo, one of my college teachers was about to fail me in a class because i had been absent too many times (i had not passed the absence limit tho, i only missed 3 classes) even tho i had the doctors papers to show him i wasn't just missing bcs im lazy or whatever. he refused all of them, refused all of my work (and i did all of it despite missing some classes).

In the last class at the end of the semester he saw my medication and asked me what it was, I told him it was adhd meds. And he was finally oh shit that's why you miss classes to go to the hospital. and Im like YES??! THANKS IVE BEEN TRYING TO TELL YOU FOR THE WHOLE SEMESTER. and then he hits me with the "uuh you dont actually have adhd tho you're just young, irresponsible and disorganized. now everyone has adhd" im just there like uuhh... dude "ive been diagnosed by 3 different doctors because i didn't believe it either" and he just gives me a shook look.

he basically didn't believe me because im the quiet kid and im not constantly bouncing of the walls (hi it's because im taking my medication :))

I just love how when you have a mental illness everyone sundenly has a medical degree. like yes some people get misdiagnosed, often conditions can look similar. still it sucks that people take your struggles and shove it in the trash like it doesn't matter.

just because i was somewhat good at school and wasn't as hyperactive as a kid doesn't mean i dont struggle. most people have no ideia how much i struggled in school to stay focused, to stay seated and not explode. how hard it was to do school work, how I couldn't follow the pace of others and was always behind. how for years and years the comments were allways "you could be so much better if you tried harder" "your tests could be better if you weren't distracted". but well since in the end i managed to get B's it didn't matter.

for those "good" grades I thank my mother who stayed with me doing my homework, who reminded me to study and when i couldn't understand things she would study herself to explain it to me in a way I could understand.

fuck school and the way they ignore the kids that struggle. they are always saying that everyone has a right to equal education, yeah right. except if you're disabled in some way.

also what's with the stereotypes for mentally ill people, why can't they accept we're normal people like everyone else. seriously you probably know tons of people that have mental health issues but you dont even know, we are literally everywhere and we're regular people just like everyone else.

pisses me off.