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hellfire--cult · 1 year

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Stripper!Billy Hargrove x Fem!Reader

wc: 7.5k

Request by @pastel-pillows: Billy gets hired for a private party. The only rules is to keep it in his pants and for the clients to not touch him... Unless he says so.

+18 MDNI, stipper dancing, grinding, hard on, fingering, roughness, p in v, billy is OOC, he is not an ass, smut, smut, smut

A/N: This is Stripper!Billy from my Do I wanna Know Series. I love you ash for this request, and I hope you and every other horny person for Billy enjoys it.

REBLOGS are true support.

no charge

Billy looked at himself once more in the mirror before grabbing his duffel bag filled with other clothes and things he would need for tonight.

He pays no mind to these kinds of jobs, and Joyce is the one that arranges them. Clients can approach her to talk about hiring one of the strippers for one night for a private gathering or party. Joyce lays down the rules for every client, and she ensures their safety by having their GPS turned on at all times in their cellphones. The job lasts two hours, and if in two hours Joyce doesn’t have any notice from them, she sends someone to the address of the place they are heading over.

The client must give many personal details such as their full name, legal address, real phone number and it is all cross checked with their IDs. Joyce is very strict when it comes to the boys' safety, so he is really thankful for her taking care of them this way. Not many bosses work the way she does, but Billy guesses it’s just her motherly instinct.

Today he was hired for a birthday party. The one that hired him was the birthday girl's best friend, and she was very direct when she asked for Billy specifically. He walked down the stairs and to see Steve playing with Eddie with the switch controllers as they stared at the screen. “Stop throwing shells at me!” Steve yells at Eddie who only laughs at his friend as he now stands at 4th place in Mario Kart. Billy rolls his eyes as he walks towards the front door.

“Hey! Remember to put the GPS on! We’ll be watching!” Eddie yells at him and Billy only sighs but internally he is grateful he is being taken care of by his closest friends as well.

“Yeah mom.” Billy retorts and then Steve is the one that speaks next.

“Don’t stick the dick in!”

Billy only groans at that and walks out of the apartment to start heading to the address of the birthday girl. He knows about the rules and the clients know about them too. This is a dance only. The only hands that can be pressed on him are just on his shoulders and if he allows them, on his chest. They cannot touch him indecently in any way or at any point. If the rule is broken he has all the right to head out because he feels uncomfortable and he gets paid in full anyway.

That happened a few times, but mostly with the older crowd. Women in their 40’s or 50’s. This party was of people his age from what he had read. He threw the duffel bag in the back of his camaro and turned on his GPS and immediately sent a message to Joyce telling her he was heading to the address. Joyce sent him a reminder to be careful and if at any point he has to bail out, to do so.

He starts his car and drives towards the suburban part of town. He has been here a few times for bachelorette parties, so he knows his way around. He looks at the piece of paper in order to get the street and number right and after driving for two more minutes, he reaches the house and he can already hear the music and some girl yelling. He looks at the window and he tries to figure out how many people are there.

A smirk spreads on his face when he sees the birthday girl.

Oh, this was going to be one of those nights.

You giggled as you danced in the middle with your best friend, your other friends cheering you on. You had put some pink lights to make the space more fun, more enticing.

It’s not every day that you turn 25, and what better way than to simply get drunk with all of your friends. It’s been so long since you had fun like this, and you can finally be free again thanks to your decision to break things off with your boyfriend after a year. The problem with him was that he was a prude, vanilla, and sadly that interfered with your feelings for him. It didn’t mean you didn’t love him, and it took a while for you to get over the breakup– even if you were the one that did it.

Attraction is very much needed in a relationship, and you had lost it completely for your ex.

He just didn’t want to try anything at all. You came up with ideas, positions and things you could both try and he didn’t find anything interesting. Not even some spanking. It became harder and harder to reach an orgasm with him, and the attraction slowly started fading away. Emotionally he was perfect, but he didn’t match that physically. It had angered you that he wasn’t even willing to try anything for you, so that also impulsed your decision to break things off.

The doorbell rang and you immediately stopped dancing with your best friend and you looked at her with a confused look on your face and then scanned the room. Everyone was here. You didn’t invite anyone else. You let go of her in order to go get the door but was stopped by her with a smile on her face.

“Don’t! Just, stay there, I’ll get it!” You were frowning at the situation but then you saw all your friends giggling with one another, Jeremiah smiling at you as he got a chair right in the middle of the room. What is going on?

“Don’t kill us…” He says to you and you are still staring at him as he looks over your shoulder and you see him giggle with a blush to his face, stepping back into his chair. Heavy boots could be heard as they walked into the living room and you slowly turned around and you really thought that a Greek god of some sort just entered your house.

He had the brightest set of eyes you’ve ever seen, piercing even, blonde curls styled and pulled back into a half ponytail with some falling towards his shoulders. He was built, and tall, and you couldn’t help but almost salivate as you stared at his plump lips. Lips that slowly spread, showing off his bright teeth to you.

“Is this the birthday girl?” The man asked and his voice just sent a shiver down your spine instantly. Your best friend snickered behind him and nodded, saying your name to him.

“This is our gift baby, from all of us.” She was smirking at you and then the room cheered. They… They got you a stripper. Oh dear god… You weren’t prepared for this, you’ve never experienced what a stripper could do, never went to a show but– You should have. If men like this work there then it is worth every penny and you were so grateful to your friends right now.

The man took a few steps towards you, his eyes locked with yours, and it might be the alcohol you’ve been drinking but everything simply grows hot as he raises a hand up and places it on your chin, tilting it upwards for you to look at him more properly.

“I’m Billy.” You were completely certain that you looked dazed, as if hypnotized by this man’s looks. You heard Jeremiah woo at him and Billy only chuckled as he leaned towards you. “One rule for you birthday girl. You don’t touch me unless I want you to, got that?”

You nod dumbly at that request, and it was going to be hard to keep your hands to yourself, but out of respect you knew you had to. Billy lets go of your chin, and he turns around to give a nod to your best friend. She bit her lip and headed over to her phone to change the music. He put a request for songs for tonight, and he had asked your preference of dance.

He wanted to know if you would like it rough, or exciting, or slow and enticing. When he gave your best friend his options, she instantly went for slow, yet rough at some parts because she said, and he quotes ‘You needed it.’. He didn’t press for more questions but Joyce did, just so she would know your mental situation and for Billy to know exactly what to do and what to not overdo.

You needed to be shown what you have been missing the past year.

Billy sat you down on the chair your friends had placed in the middle of the room as they all were sitting around it, small cheers and whistles being heard as your eyes never left Billy’s. He didn’t expect to dance for someone like you tonight. You caught his eye the moment he saw you whipping your hips from side to side as he looked through the window of your home outside.

There was this carnal need growing inside of him, but he had to focus on the job, not let it get to his head. One of the things he had to make sure of in these kinds of parties or small side jobs was to never, ever, get hard. It wasn’t impossible to do so really, since he was always the one grinding on the people, but if he does get hard it might give the wrong message, and people might feel entitled to touch him, thinking they can do it, just because he is a man with normal reactions.

‘Renegade’ by Aaryan Shah started playing on the speakers and your breathing hitched at the rain sound at the beginning of it. You took a shaky breath in as he started circling around you, his hand softly grazing all over your shoulders, and when the beat started, his hands pressed on your biceps, dragging them all the way down, slowly, and not putting pressure on his fingertips but it was enough to make your skin grow goosebumps from it.

“I’m gonna make you feel wanted…” You didn’t even notice he had gotten close to your ear from behind, his hot breath hitting your skin making you shiver and his low whisper sent a shock that reached your center. Your mind was blocking out everyone else, slowly, as if your friends weren’t cheering you on, or him for that matter.

“Please…” You replied to him and he was sure he wouldn’t be able to hear you through the music, but he did, and his eyes almost widened at your boldness. You really needed this. He took the opportunity while standing behind you to push his sneakers off by placing the tip of his foot at the back of each and pulling.

He kept circling you until he was standing in front of you again, a smirk on his face as he suddenly ripped his jacket open, taking it off in one swift motion and you were so focused on his face before that you did not notice that he was wearing a button up shirt that was half closed, showing off his chest and some of his abs.

Your breathing stopped at the sight and he chuckled at your expression. He definitely knew he was attractive, never an ounce of self doubt about that, and that’s what made this job easy for him. But there was something in your eyes that was different from the other girls and women he danced for– Something that was making his body grow a little hotter at each flick of your eyes towards his body.

There was genuine and pure lust in them.

He knew there was desire for him with all those other clients, but you… There was something else, as if you were hungry, starving even. He motioned for you to give him your hand and you took a second to notice what he was saying, raising a shaking hand to him. He licked his lips and bit the bottom one as he made you grip the middle of his open shirt, right under his pecs.

He gripped your hand tightly, and made you pull it down in one hard motion, surprising you, and all of his buttons flew away as his shirt flew completely open, revealing all of his abdomen to you. You felt your mouth salivate at the sight, the rhythm of the song blasting in your ears, making the moment much more seductive.

You were expecting strippers to be rough, manhandling you around as you’ve seen in tik tok videos, or instagram, and even magic mike, and just grinding on you aggressively. You didn’t expect this man to be moving slowly, yet it was sending fire currents all over your body at each sudden movement he did.

Billy took his shirt off and smirked as he threw it towards your other friend, Jeremiah, who squealed in delight at it. You had forgotten about your friends, and your eyes blinked as you looked around and you saw all the clapping and cheering going around, only to be pulled back into that bubble of arousal as you felt strong hands grip your chin again, and make you look up into blue orbs that were staring back at you intensely.

“Your attention is only mine tonight. Keep it that way.” Billy smirked as you stared up at him, an amused look on your face. He never expected responses from his dominance, most of the time they just nod at him and let him proceed, but you… you wiped Billy’s smirk away as you smiled at him and actually retorted back to him.

“Yes Sir.”

That word shot right to his dick. He cursed at you in his mind, shaking the feeling of rising arousal he was feeling to keep going with his job. He pulled his hand away from you only for both of your hands to be grabbed by him, pulling you up from the chair, causing you to gasp as you stand on both of your trembling knees.

He smirked at how you slightly wobbled and he made you press your hands against his chest and then guided you, very slowly, over his chest and down to his abdomen. He was expecting you to be looking at where your hands were going, but your eyes kept locked against his all the time. Your hands were on fire at every dent you passed by, at the heat of his skin, but you didn’t press your hands on him.

And for some reason, Billy was disliking that.

He licked his lips, a smirk appearing on his face as he looked down at his jeans and then back up at you. You followed his gaze and your eyes widened, looking up at him again wondering if you understood right. He guided your hands towards his happy trail, making you graze your fingertips on his V shape and he almost let out a groan at the feeling. Your eyes were now stuck at his form, feeling the soft hairs that went beneath the hem of his denims.

“Open them up.” There were cheers and whistles around at the request, but you couldn’t hear them, just the soft bass that played on the song. Your fingers swiftly unbuttoned his jeans and you took a deep breath in as you got hold of the zipper and started pulling it down. Billy could feel the tip of your thumb as you glided it down with the metal and he felt it. He felt how his bulge was slowly growing.

You looked up at him when everything was undone and he tilted his head at you, as if telling you that you are missing something. He nodded once towards the floor and back at you, and you felt your heart beating into your ears as you slowly started getting on your knees in front of him.

And Billy cursed inwardly once more. You look so fucking beautiful like this.

He almost never took his pants off at a performance. But oh he wanted to right now. He chuckled as you kept yourself on the floor and he walked to your side and then behind you. He felt himself starting to lose control of his desire because you just looked too exquisite to him. It wasn’t that the other clients were not of his liking, but you… something was coming out of your body, almost like pheromones that were pulling him in.

He pressed a hand on your shoulder and he gave you a soft push, enough to make you lose some balance and get on all fours as your hands landed on the floor. Billy couldn’t contain the smirk inside of him because you were completely unaware of your friends around you. You weren’t paying any mind to them any longer and it was all thanks to him. Now he understands what your best friend meant by you needing it.

Your heart thumped in your chest and your eyes widened when he pressed his hips against your ass, and you felt him. He was hard. It was something normal, wasn’t it? They grind on clients and it is normal for them to get hard. Billy on the other hand, couldn’t help himself as he pressed against you and that made him even harder than before, not caring any longer about the people in the room, just like you weren’t paying mind to them.

He pressed onto you even rougher, prompting you to finally lay down on the floor, hands on both sides of your head as it turned to look at him over your shoulder. Billy salivated at the hazy look in your eyes, pupils blown wide, and he chuckled at you while getting on top of your body, his face coming close to your ear, softly whispering to you.

“Stay still.” And that you did, feeling your thighs clench at his order, cheeks becoming flushed as you wondered what he was going to do. He smirked as he raised himself up on his hands as he hovered over your body and then he parted his legs even wider so he could have some leverage. His hips started swaying back and forth into a sensual motion, grazing over your bottom half every time he went down.

You gasped at the sensual movement, and you held in a groan as the wetness started to soak your underwear. This man had you in a curse at the moment, and you didn’t know if you wanted it to be cured. Were you that desperate that a stripper is making you feel this way? He is just doing his job which is just dancing, nothing more to it.

But fuck will it rise your expectations for other men now.

Billy’s eyebrow twitched as he looked down at you, and all he could think about was ripping that shirt off your body, to feel your skin under his palm. He stops grinding and his hand snakes to the front of your throat and he pulls you with him as he kneels back up. His chest presses against your back, a moan coming out of your throat.

You wanted to take your hand back, to be able to touch him, rub him, feel him. But your hands were kept in place, not wanting this to be over. If you did as you desired he will stop this and leave, and that’s the last thing you want. Billy couldn’t contain himself as he broke his own personal rule and pressed his bulge against your ass, and you heard him growl in his throat.

Your head was spinning and suddenly you felt his free hand grip yours, and your eyes widened when he guided you to where you wanted your hand to actually be. He made you stick your hand into his open pants and you could cup his hardness into your hand. His breath was in your ear and you were sure he was giving you permission now to do as you please, so in front of everyone, you moved your hand, slowly, up and down on his bulge.

Billy had made up his mind at this point. He is going to break every single rule, every single warning sign thrown out the window. He was going to get his phone out of his bag, message Joyce, and Eddie and Steve that he will take a little bit longer. You felt a shiver run down your spine as his fingers splayed all over your throat, massaging it gently, and his lips came close to your ear, his hot breath fanning onto it.

“Can I give you a present?” He felt you stiffen, and he smirked as your hand stopped rubbing on him due to shock, but then he groaned into your skin as you began to move your hand even harder on him, surprising him as you turned your head to look at him with a smirk on your face.

“A gift?” You dared to ask and he could only smile at you, his lips coming close to yours, hovering over them, and you were dying to move forward and press them against his. You wanted to taste this man, and the next words he said to you made your body tremble suddenly with an urgent need.

“No charge.”

That’s when he pushed you off him and your eyes seemed to come back to reality for a few seconds, the yelling and cheering from your friends sipping into your ears. Sounds you had blocked out completely all this while, dissociating from the world that was around you and Billy. You looked up towards your best friend who had a wide eyed look on her friend as she covered her mouth with her hand.

Billy walked around you, a smirk on his face all the while, and he went to grab his bag that he left on the front door, winking at your best friend as he passed by, and then he turned around to face you again, tilting his head as if waiting for you to make the next move.

“Turn the music all the way up.” Those were your simple instructions and your friends cheered on you as you walked towards the stripper you met just a few moments ago. Your best friend gave you a wink and a motion for you to not lock the door. Your friends protected you just in case… because Billy is still a stranger. No matter what the job is, he still is one and you don’t know him.

What you do know, is the size of his dick. And you definitely need it inside of you.

You walk towards him to get hold of his free hand, his jeans still unbuttoned and open, the bulge just trying to break free from them. You gave him one look as if asking one last time if it was okay and he gave you a wink with a teeth showing grin. You turned the both of you and headed upstairs as the music started to increase in volume. You didn’t really care if your friends heard you, not when you deserved this.

Billy took the opportunity that you had your back towards him to take his phone out of the side pocket of the bag as it hung on his shoulder. He texted his friends and then Joyce. His boss knows what it means when they say it’s taking a little longer, no need to clarify. She always sends a be careful and to keep the GPS on. Eddie is the one to reply to him and he almost lets out a snort at the message.

‘Wrap it.’

Billy puts the phone back in the bag, and then grabs onto the small metallic package he has there, tucking it into his back pocket, as you walk down the hallway of your home. Billy was amazed by your age and the fact that you own a home. None of his business on how you got it, but it was still intriguing. The music, even if loud, was becoming distant, even if a bit, and you were happy your room wasn’t above the living room.

You opened the door to your bedroom, and the nerves finally kicked in. All the confidence you had earlier on to make a move were now squashed as you turned around to see Billy closing the door behind him, looking down at you as his bag dropped to the floor. Your breathing stammering slightly, not knowing how to move on from here. It’s been so long since you’ve been with a man other than your ex, so you didn’t know how to start this off like you used to.

But Billy knew what you needed, from the moment he saw you, the moment your best friend said your preference. He knew, and he was glad you needed something like that because he loves it that way.

His hand shot up suddenly, grabbing you by the shoulders and turning you both around so that he could slam you against the closed door. You gasped at how he manhandled you so effortlessly and just took you completely by surprise. He towered over you, gazing down at your eyes and you could feel your knees trembling at how intense his eyes were. His hand raised up to put it under your chin and hold your eyes to his own.

“You need it badly, don’t you? You need a real man–” He pressed his hips against yours and you could feel his bulge against your lower belly, making you whimper against your throat. “To treat you like you deserve.”

You felt yourself clench at nothing in his voice. He had you in the palm of his hand, and his eyes were looking down at you, as if waiting for something. This man knows you want him, but you also know that this man wants you just the same, and that is boosting your ego and your confidence. You never imagined a guy like him to look twice your way… but here he was. A smile spread on your lips as you answered back to him.

“Yes sir~”

At your purr Billy’s lips instantly slammed on yours, a moan escaping your mouth and into his as he did so. His hands moved towards your wrists and he grabbed onto them, pulling them up above your head and using one hand to hold them together and staying there. You were surprised at the sudden movement, a whine coming out of your mouth, while his lips were pulled into a grin in between the kiss.

His lips moved against yours, roughly, seeking for more as his body fully pressed against yours, chest against chest, and his other free hand went towards your neck, pressing your head against the door as well. You felt yourself becoming wetter by the second, and you moaned in surprise as his thigh came in between your legs, pressing harshly against your center, the seam of your jeans pressing just right against your clit.

He chuckled into the kiss and pulled away, barely, so he could look at your face. Your eyes turned half lidded and wanton moans escaped your lips every time he pressed his knee even harder on you. He took his tongue out and ran it through your bottom lip, gently. You tasted divine, but he wasn’t here to be gentle tonight. He knew you didn’t want him to be gentle either.

Your hips started moving against his thigh, and he looked down at your movements as you rode him. He felt his cock twitch in his underwear, and he looked back up to your face and he took his hand away from your neck. He was surprised to hear you whine at the loss of his grip, but he then started sliding his hand down, reaching the button of your pants, making your eyes snap wide to look at him.

“Let me show you what you’ve been missing, sweets.” The grip on your wrists tightened as he unbuttoned your jeans and pulled your zipper down. You couldn’t hear the music or anything but your beating heart. It was just a constant pumping of blood in your ear. You felt his fingertips slide into the elastic of your panties, and you shivered at the tickling sensation he was leaving behind each time he inched closer to your cunt.

“Please, please Billy…” You begged, and who was Billy to deny you when you asked so nicely? He smiled down at you as his fingers found the bundle of nerves that made a moan come out of your lips without shame. He gave it a few circling motions and your hips were trying to grind against him.

His face leaned down towards your neck, inhaling deeply to take in your scent, your perfume. You whimpered when you felt his hand moving lower and his lips closing onto the skin of your neck, leaving kisses over it. You gasped when he suddenly ran his fingers through your drenched folds, making your skin flush completely, a chuckle escaping his lips and onto your neck.

“Look how wet you already are, baby.” Your arms were starting to hurt from being pinned for this long above your head, but that pain was thrown out of the window when you felt a finger of his running over and over your folds in order to wet it before entering you. You gasped as you threw your head back, leaving Billy more access to your neck.

He was becoming drunk of how wet you were for him as he pumped his finger in and out of you. Damn, he really wanted to taste you now, but he had to move quickly. He couldn’t spend the night here, nor take his sweet time with you. At least… not today.

“Billy– Billy, fuck–” You were moaning his name, and he couldn’t help himself but bite onto your neck as he inserted a second finger in you, his pace quickening. You couldn’t believe how good you could feel with just fingers. He was curling them in the right position, hitting your spongy spot over and over, rubbing his fingertips against it.

He let go of your neck in order to kiss you again so he could swallow your moans into his throat. He took the opportunity of your mouth being open and his mouth instantly slipped in, clashing against yours. You tasted divine. If you tasted like this in your mouth, his resolve of not eating you out was wavering.

His tongue danced with yours, his fingers going deep inside you, curled as he pressed the belly of his palm against your clit and moved his hand rapidly back and forth, making the movements of your tongue falter as loud moans went from your throat to his. He pulled away in order to hear you and your loud whimpers were music to his ears.

“Fuck, look at you…” He was mesmerized by you, your head thrown back onto the door as his fingers kept moving. He then stopped all together, making you whine at the loss of friction. You were feeling so good and he decided to stop now? His hand finally lets go of your wrists and you sigh in relief as you pull them down to your sides once again. His fingers leave you, and he pulls them out of your underwear to look at them.

You are looking at him as he smirks at you, taking his fingers into his mouth, his eyes closing as he tastes you on his tongue. Fuck, you were sweeter down there. He should have eaten you out instead of fingering you. He moaned into his fingers and you clenched onto nothing at the sound.

When his fingers left his mouth, he opened his eyes to find yours. His hands then grabbed the hem of your pants and he crouched in order to pull them down along with your now soaked underwear. You couldn’t help but blush in embarrassment. You stepped out of them and he stood up as he scanned you again.

“W–What?”

“Take your shirt off.” You gulped at how demanding he sounded, but you complied in just a second. You pulled your shirt over your head and threw it across the room. He raised a finger towards the strap of your red lace bra, pulling it to only let it go so it would snap against your skin, making you gasp. “Cute, but it needs to go too.”

You lick your lips and you take your hands behind you to unclasp your bra. His eyes were digging holes onto every part of your body from how intense he was looking at you. You took the bra off and threw it somewhere, and you really didn’t care if it got lost. He stood there, just taking your naked body in. His dick twitched again and he knew this was his limit.

You saw him reach behind him and then put something in his mouth. Your eyes widened when you saw the aluminum foil square that is in between his teeth. He smirked at you as he pulled his pants and boxers down. He didn’t step out of them just yet, and one of his hands grabbed onto the foil, and with his teeth he ripped it open, taking the rubber out.

Your eyes went down towards his dick and, holy shit. He was huge. Your sense of touch was spot on before. His bulge felt… bulky, and now you can confirm it was because he was big. He followed your gaze and he chuckled, making your eyes look back up at him again. He licked the inside of his bottom lip as he handed the rubber to you.

Your breathing was heavy as you grabbed onto it, and you pressed onto the tip to then roll it down onto his cock. He threw his head back in a circle at the feel of your hands around him. The primal part of him switched on, and he was going to show you what he could do, what the others didn’t dare to do to you.

Your hands immediately flew away as you saw him crouch again, his hands cupping right under your ass and prompting you to jump. His hands cupped your ass tightly, your arms wrapping around his shoulders, your legs around his waist so you wouldn’t fall. He smirked at you as he pressed you harder against the wall so he could take one hand away from your ass so he could line himself up to you.

You threw your head back, a loud moan escaping you as you start feeling the stretch of him entering you. His hand went back to cupping your ass, holding you up and onto the wall. He cursed under his breath as he felt how tight you were. He kept moving forward into you, gasps escaping your lips that caused him to grin at you.

“Fu-Fuck–” You were already cock drunk, and he hadn’t bottomed out yet. You heard him call out your name to you and you looked down to see him smirking at you, making you frown slightly only for him to slam himself inside of you in one motion, knocking the air out of your lungs in a choke.

“You’re so fucking tight, you’re sucking me in.” He groaned out as he felt you clenching around him, adjusting to him as you writhed on his hold. He then moved his hips back and then back in, first in a slow movement as he started building up in tempo, each minute that passed.

Moans soon filled the room, the slamming of your body against the door as he thrusted in and out of you as you started falling into a state of euphoria. You never felt like this before. You had your share of experiences, but it was never like this, and he just stuck his dick in. He didn’t do anything special, but the foreplay and the edging was enough to make you lose your head the instant he put the tip in.

Your hands were digging onto his shoulders as you chanted his name like a mantra, bodies becoming sweaty as he started increasing his pace, your moans becoming louder and some whimper were thrown into the mix as well. His pelvis was hitting against your clit thanks to the position as well, the burning in your belly starting to form.

“It feels so good, it feels so fucking good–!” You were starting to moan out words, things you never did before. You never liked dirty talking and that was because it had never been done to you. He chuckled and you felt him grip onto your ass cheeks even tighter and he pulled you both off the door so he could stand up straight, his back a little bit bent backwards.

“Yeah?” He smirked as he used his strength to raise you up and then make you fall down on his dick again. You moaned loudly at that, the new position letting him hit your G-spot perfectly. His hands guided you up and down so you would bounce on his cock, your arms now wrapped completely around his shoulders.

You nodded dumbly as you felt your eyes becoming teary from how deep he was hitting you and it never stopped, in and out, in and out. Your mouth fell open with silent moans, with whimpers, whines, groans, huffs of air. Billy was trying to hold them in, but you felt exquisite on his dick, tight, and clenching every so often, so many grunts escaped into the air from his throat.

“Shit– Oh god–” Your belly was burning, the coil turning, tightening, and he could feel it, so he braced himself on his feet in order to slam you even harder down on his dick in a slow pace. Your eyes were wide as you looked up at the ceiling, your vision starting to go white as the burning sensation came closer and closer, your walls clenching around him repeatedly.

“Come on baby, cum on my dick, come on… Let me feel you.” The dirty talking did it for you. The elastic band snapped instantly, and you let out a loud cry of his name as your walls clenched tightly around him and he growled as he tried to move but you were sucking him in and not letting go. Your legs trembled around him as your nails started to dig on his back.

He rode your high until he felt you unclench, the both of you breathing heavily as he sits inside of you. He could feel your body starting to slump on him, making it harder to keep you up. He licked his lips and backed up towards your bed, turning around to throw you into it. It took you by surprise, snapping you back to reality, looking up at him through the tears of your eyes.

“You didn’t–?” You asked innocently and Billy only smirked through his panting.

“On all fours.” He ordered and you took a deep breath in to hide the gasp as you complied, your ass facing him as your knees and hands were on the mattress of the bed, your calves and feet hanging off the edge of the bed.

“Like this?” You ask as you wiggle your ass for him, teasingly, and Billy was surprised you still had this spark in you. Maybe it was a spark that never came out before because the chance had never presented itself for you.

“Put your fucking ass up.” You gasped at how rough he sounded, but a small smirk appeared on your face as you slowly laid your upper body down on the bed, your back arching forward so you could stick your ass out even more for him.

“Like this~?” You purr this time and you hear a hum of approval, only to then feel a hand slamming against one of your ass cheeks, causing you to choke out a moan in surprise.

“What a view.” He was salivating as he looked at the roundness of your cheeks, wanting to sink his teeth on your flesh. You wiggled your ass at him again and he chuckled in desire as he raised his hand up to slap your other ass cheek, making you yelp and clench onto thin air, a smile on your face that was on the mattress. “Forward.”

You complied and moved your body a little more into the middle of the bed so he could kneel in between your legs. He grabbed onto his dick and rubbed the tip on your clit, slapping it a few times which caused you to whimper. He pressed the tip in through your fold and didn’t wait for a second to grab your hips and slam himself back into you.

You moaned against the bed as his pace turned brutal, piercing even. He didn’t do the slow pace at first like before, but you didn’t mind the roughness, you actually loved it. This is what you always needed, what you always wanted, and it was finally being given to you.

Billy threw his head back as his eyes closed at how much you were clenching around him still thanks to the overstimulation. He growled when he looked down at the bouncing of your ass against his hips, seeing himself going in and out of you. He raised his hand up and smacked your ass again, seeing it jiggle as he kept thrusting in and out of you.

You choked out a moan and he could see the smile on your face as he repeated the action, two and three more times. He smirked as he pulled himself forward, and his hand came to the side of your head, and he pressed you against the mattress even more, making you instinctively raise your ass up even more as your knees slid down a little bit.

His thrusts became deep and the sound of skin slapping bounced from wall to wall. Your moans were muffled against the mattress, and your smile was still on your lips as his hand pressed even harder on the side of your head. You were immediately feeling the burning sensation in your belly and you wanted him to touch you, you needed it again.

“Billy, Billy, I need to cum again, please–” SMACK.

“You’re going to cum with my cock only, so fucking take what I give you.” You moaned at his words, your bodies going back and forth from how deep he was moving in you.

“Yes Sir, yes Sir!” His dick twitched inside of you at your chants, and he groaned loudly mixed with a moan as he felt his balls clench with the need to cum. He needed to cum while you clenched around him, and he knew you were close thanks to your walls fluttering every so often as he kept thrusting into you, his hand still pressing onto your head.

The thrill of it, the roughness and the sound of his groans from how good he was feeling with you made your belly explode again, even harder than before. You yelled onto the mattress as your vision turned white, your mind becoming mush as you clenched tightly around him as if it were a life source.

“Fuck–” He gave more thrusts, fast and deep ones until the last two faltered slightly and then a moan escaped his lips as he spilled into the condom. He trembled as ropes of cum left him, one after the other. He was breathing heavily as he tried to come back to earth. He looked down at you and he let go of your head to reveal you huffing for air against the mattress. “You with me?”

You gave him one nod and he winced when he pulled out of you, slowly, and you whined at the emptiness of it. He pulled the condom off and he was surprised by how much he had spilled inside of it. It’s been a while since he came this hard. His eyes turned to your figure and a smirk appeared on his face. He called out your name and that made you snap back into reality, turning around on the bed to lay down on your back.

“Yeah…?” It was a soft moan, your breath still trying to settle into a normal rhythm again.

Billy came back home only to find Eddie still up and talking on the phone with his girl.

“It’s 1 AM. What are you two doing up?” Billy groans as he walks towards the kitchen, throwing the duffel bag onto the floor. He was wearing the extra clothes he took in there, and Eddie examined him, up and down.

“Well… was it a good show?” Billy opened the fridge and took a water bottle out and took a long sip out of it. He looked at Eddie a smirk forming on his face once more.

“I may have found a student myself.”

A/N: Im getting to write my pending requests, so be patient with me. I hope you all enjoyed this smutty thing, and I love billy so sue me.

I love you ash.

#billy hargrove #billy hargrove request #billy hargrove fanfic #billy hargrove x reader #stranger things #billy hargrove x you #billy hargrove x female reader #billy hargrove x y/n #billy hargrove smut #stripper!billy hargrove #stripper!billy #do i wanna know #diwk #billy hargrove fanfiction #billy hargrove imagine #billy hargrove one shot #billy x reader #billy x you #billy hargrove stranger things

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just-orbiting-you · 24 days

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jikook’s conversation at the first restaurant in ep 5 was just so…..intimate and sweet to watch. seriosuly, the way V was just truly a guest there and barley talked or added anything to conversation and the entire time jikook were just looking at eachother, joking about grilling meat, talking about enlistment, joking about perilla leafs, it was truly fun to watch. the entire ep felt like that but i think their time in the first restaurant was my favorite because it really showed how intertwined they are with eachother. the little joke jungkook said about waking up next to eachother and then they both did that face at the same time, it’s like they know every single joke that pops up in the others head. i seriously loved watching that, i couldn’t stop smiling. was there a favorite moment you had in ep 5? cause even tho there was no activities in the ep, the conversations jikook had were my favorite and probably has been my favorite parts of the whole show. in ep 4 and 2 it was like that as well. i can’t wait till japan, i assume they’re gonna be even more sweet with eachother. also i felt like people were taking the ham v sausage argument too seriously, if jimin took it to heart he would have said that in a less joking way and im sure they wouldn’t have even aired that. jungkook might have even a little annoyed or hurt at jimin taking tae’s side but i just didn’t think it was too serious like many people did.

hey anon! thanks for your ask! y'all should come gush in my inbox more often because at the end of the day, i'm just really grateful they shot this show in general and just want to talk about everything i love about it :).

that conversation at the barbeque place is also my favorite part of the ep. immediately after watching it the first time, i was like "that's one of my new favorite parts." so im gonna break down my thoughts.

first jimin in that button up literally had me losing it. he was so so boyfriend here. this show keeps reaffirming to me how much he makes me crazy and how absolutely gorgeous he is on the daily.

jungkook 'teaching' jimin about his theory on the best way to cook meat was so adorable. this part of the show really shows me just how fond jimin really is of jungkook. and i think he wears it on his sleeve with his smiles and giggles. especially once jungkook starts his soju bottle theatrics, jimin has this split second whipped look on his face before tae starts talking. when he said he "likes weird charms" or something like that nine ish years ago, i see what he means.

i was like 50/50 about the enlistment talk going in. i obviously want to hear what they have to say about it, but i wasn't sure if they really were going to mention it. so once they did, i was so glad.

the little joke jungkook said about waking up next to eachother and then they both did that face at the same time, it’s like they know every single joke that pops up in the others head.

Literally. they mind meld. they can like read each other's minds. and i honestly think that's part of the reason why tae feels left out. immediately jungkook understood the joke and played along. its almost baffling how quick they read each other. and before when they say, "i'm not worried about us fighting" :') is so sweet. obviously you don't want to go in with that expectation something will happen, but its sweet they really believe in their relationship. i'm like tearing up thinking about them man.

if i had to pick another part, its one that comes up a few times throughout the show and that's when jungkook is talking about watching what he eats. jimin ALWAYS says something sweet and comforting, either trying to rationalize within jk's bounds or telling him it's okay to eat. like in ep 5 it was like "as long as you're happy eating" just so sweet. it honestly pains me to hear them both talk about their eating, because i know it's a product of their careers and needing to "go on diets" to keep their appearance. but it really is not a healthy outlook :/. to see jimin just reassure jungkook it's okay, despite probably having concerns like that himself in the past is just so sweet.

i called bullshit on the ham thing immediately when my inbox was flooded yesterday morning. because quite honestly, i get like jk when i end up being right like that. but seriously once we start getting into abuse allegations, it really has gone way too fucking far. i got smacked over the head with a reality check after ep 1 and 2, everyone else's is long over due. let's chat more about the fun parts of the show okay? enough of the presumptions.

#jikook #are you sure?!

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bonfinite · 11 months

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thank you everyone for 50 followers!

　before anything else I would like to say that the few people I have interacted with on this app have been nothing but supportive and kind. obviously this is the internet so not everyone is gonna like what you do but on here mostly everyone looks out for each other and it is really heartwarming, I have only been here for what, 2 weeks? but still I feel like I'm already a part of something even though I've hardly interacted with anyone here 　I would also like to thank everyone who has followed me along on my journey on this app, truly I am grateful for every one of the people who follow me & like my posts, thank you so so much. 50 is not a huge milestone but it is an important one and I appreciate the support 💓

(some of) my favourite blogs

　@p-oisn @baesol @od-i @yeritos @v-ico @ningluvr @trivijoy @egorls @eliatopia @7ves @mazeui @y-urios @raeceah @wonflirtz @isamiracle @umiena @i04rei @y0oni3 @fuckici @i08wony @v6mpcat @e-unchaes @silvrrz (I COULDNT FIT EVERYONE HERE)

ps I love you guys 🥺😭😭🥰🥰💓💓💞💞💞 okay bye my sinuses are blocked i cant BREATHE

#⌑　　　 ˚　　❁　bonfinite

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agirlandherquill · 3 months

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Written In Smoke - The Inceptive Letter

Now, for the first post of this series I thought I’d begin with something simple, explaining the name - Written, because of course I’m a writer and I adore the clickety-clack of keys (and writing with a fountain pen in a notebook when I’m outlining plot, which is a new little venture I’ve begun doing) and Smoke, because it’s a weekly account of events, nothing is going to be completely solid, and my memory will have gaps even if I attempt to note things down, and also because much like the flow of ink upon paper, life is similarly fluid too, in my mind at least, it’s very much like smoke - full of substance, beautiful, chaotic, and full of little moments (which I completely adore) and thus the use of smoke, because little moments disappear so quickly but the remnants remain with you forevermore, and that’s as much of an explanation as my mind can conjure, which for me at the very least, composes the introduction to this series!

And now to move on to the main substance of this post - much like the ingredients of a perfect dish, the parts are still a work in progress, so bear with me whilst I work out which to include and how to structure it

(And come up with working titles for each section, which is part of the fun!)

A Glimpse Through Time - little bits about me and what I’ve been up to this week

This week marked the end of a chapter, a very important one, because I completed (some may say survived, barely) my final three papers and today was my final day of academic normalcy - everything from here-on-out is completely and utterly unknown - no more Lit, Bio, and Chem to worry about for the summer at least, which is very, very daunting but I did it, I made it through and hopefully my work paid off - we shall see in a few months time, but i’m not ready to think about that yet - Having to say goodbye to the people who have taught me for the past few years was difficult but I made it through with no tears, a few hugs and cards written, which was lovely, truly, and I’m grateful for every minute of it.

Other than completing the final obstacle toward the free-fall that Is adulthood (I say that as though the feat isn’t impressive, because it sure would be to me two years ago), only a few things have happened this week:

(I’m making this a list because who doesn’t adore lists? Perhaps only me, but that’s more than okay)

Stuff Your Kindle Day was yesterday, and my poor, poor kindle has to suffer with the acquisition of 50-odd books (I haven’t dared to count past that, and it was my first actual SYK day despite owning a kindle for 9 years), and I have no idea if it has the storage for it, so that’ll be fun to work through

I made a bet to watch star-wars, now of course i’ve seen most of it (movie-wise, definitely, and 3/4 of mandalorian minus s3 because let’s face it, I’m as behind on that as I am with Witcher, which is soon to be rectified but anyway redirecting back to Star Wars) but very little of the shows and it’s been so long I hardly remember the plots and such, which I’m very much looking forward to re-experiencing for the first “proper-ish” time - so I’m starting with Solo, then steadily working my way through ANH, ESB, ROTJ, Mando S1, Mando S2, Boba Fett, Mando S3, TFA, TLJ, TROS, TPM, AOTC, Clone wars (movie and plot-vital eps, I was given a list), ROTS, Obi-Wan, and Ahsoka - all of this in exchange for my friend to watch The Boys (I’m going to rewatch it all, then finally see Gen V, hopefully in time before S4 ends and I can watch the last few eps as they come out, like I did with S3)

I decided I want to go on a trip over summer, just me, which is frankly terrifying but I’m really excited - I’m thinking of Bath, possibly, because the Jane Austen Museum is there (Persuasion is the love of my life and i’ve only read it twice, I also need to read more than simply that and Pride and Prejudice) and a few doors down is Mary Shelley’s Museum too! It’s a trip that’s doable in a day, by train, which is pretty perfect for my first solo excursion - so bear with me since that’s in the works

To end this list I’m slipping in a note about a brief-exchange that my delusional mind brands rom-com noteworthy (only it’s not, unless it maybe is? i’ll leave that to the reader to decide), I gifted my chemistry lab-partner a chocolate bar and a note of gratitude because it’s down to him that I survived the practicals (only kidding, I’m not THAT dangerous, but we were the most successful pair in the class which was pretty awesome), and enjoyed the chem course even more than I thought I would - and on the final day (today, insert anxious and clueless screaming because it feels far, far too soon for everything to be over) on the way out, he gifted me something in return - I never thought a chocolate bar would make me want to cry and giggle at the same time, but there you go (part of me prays he will not notice the existence of my Tumblr, but it’s possible, and if he ever reads this - I am so, so, sorry, but either way my appreciation is known, and that’s good enough for me, and he’s very, very sweet)

Now, what else is there to include in this section? Oh, I know! The nightmare that is the vast variety of things that entertain me - cough, slightly melodramatic of me, but you’ll see what I mean momentarily,

Books - I’m roughly 120 pages into the Wheel of Time, which I already know will become my LOTR (assuming that is an actual phrase and not something my brain has made up, which is highly likely regardless - it’s also a slight reference to Ready Player One, since Kira reread LOTR every single year), because who doesn’t love danger, fantasy, and a delicious almost undecipherable prophecy? If I don’t re-read this book every year I will be incredibly, incredibly surprised. Fighting sleep one night this week I sought out my kindle, which had been sorely unused these last couple years, and I started to read Interview With The Vampire, and I’ve spent a couple hours reading it today, I’m about 25% in according to Kindle stats, so I’ll see how it goes. Surprisingly though, I stumbled across Perks of Being A Wallflower on Kindle Unlimited today - and 5 hours later, with a couple of breaks scattered between, I finished it, about twenty minutes before writing this section - and let me tell you, that book was a LOT, but a good lot? i suppose? And I’m glad I finally got around to reading it - It’s also given me the urge to reread All The Bright Places which I read for the first time last summer, and it’s beautiful, and so, so good,

Shows - Seeing as it’s the weekend I’m making my way through Dexter, I’m currently 3/4 through S4 and loving it, it’s INSANE, I’m also watching Shameless US, I’m on S6 and it’s actually baffling me how much I’m enjoying it (Lip is my favourite character, and this season HURTS me with how much it hurts him, mild spoiler possibly? apologies if so), I’m also going to start rewatching the Boys as aforementioned, seeing the dark side of superheroes is so incredibly genius, if not disturbing, and there’s plenty of that in the show to look forward to experiencing again, so wish me luck dear reader,

Music - I listen to a LOT. That’s the honest truth. Lots of genres, lots of people, but I’ll try and pick out some of the things I’ve been listening to this week: Outlander S1&2 Soundtrack (I’ve only seen up to s2, and after reading the first book last month it was perfect timing for exam season), Like That by Bea Miller (I rediscovered this recently and it fits so well with the characters in my head, and even though I haven’t been writing lately, believe me, I’ve been plotting), Trouble by Camylio (it reminds me of the main characters in my currently not fully-written book, as in the work I need to complete/redraft after I finish Ruin’s Reprisal), Ludens by Bring Me The Horizon (does this song really need an explanation? It’s just that good) and finally, to finish off this little list of things that I’ve hearing a lot this week, The Other Side by Stephen Sanchez, which is so so good

Spills From The Ink-Pot - writing, writing, and more writing

Seeing as it’s Friday, and today is the start of my lengthy, well-needed summer, there’s not an awful lot I can tell you all for writing progress, but so far this weekend I did manage to re-read the chapter I’m editing and the progress I’ve made in it so far, which was super helpful, and by the end of this weekend hopefully I’ll have that chapter all finished, and then afterwards have a lot more to share with you all next week!

But to make up for my absence from writeblr and being unable to post anything these last few weeks, I’ll add this in:

Just a little glimpse into my workspace/theme/whatever you wish to call it on Scrivener - that's right, I'm a Scrivener girlie, and I'm so glad I invested in it last May (take part in NaNoWriMo camps folks, you get 50% off, which is what I did, aka £25 for permanent use as opposed to £50, which is still really good compared to Word etc, in my opinion) - and a sneak peek at some of my Chapter Titles, which I really do love coming up with,

(if it's blurry I do apologise, but you get the gist, hopefully)

Incase it’s not obvious, this account was written in parts, over the course of Friday and Saturday (11pm today, roughly), since I lost the battle against exhaustion and fell asleep before I could finish compiling this lengthy post (that’s not a complaint, i’m really enjoying writing this) so I’m finishing this very first post a tad later than initially planned, but these things happen, and that’s all right - you’ll also notice my battle with autocorrect and its capitalisation, sometimes I win, sometimes I lose, but I’d rather not go back and correct things this late at night, so apologies for that slight blunder but I promise the next post will be all properly formatted with headers and capitals (as soon as I figure out how to include headers, and make them, hopefully trusty procreate comes in handy, but we shall see)

So that’s it! The very first Written In Smoke is completed, compiled and heading your way - I hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I did writing it, this is unknown territory for me and it feels as though I’m baring another piece of myself to the world, but it’s worth it, I knew it when this began, and I know it now as I write these last few lines, so if you’ve read this far - thank you, and I’ll see you all next week for the next entry in this series!

~ A Girl and Her Quill

p.s. if there’s anything else you’d like to know about, let me know! suggestions are greatly appreciated (cough, somewhat desperately needed because I have no idea what I’m doing)

p. p. s. being the utter genius I am, I pressed save as draft rather than post, so this is coming out even later than originally planned - whoops!

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Tag List! (if you want to be notified when a WIS post comes out, interact with this post :) )

@lead-to-code @catwingsathena @nothoughtsjustmhaandotherthings @thestorywitch @lunaeuphternal

@theaistired @frostedlemonwriter

#writeblr #written-in-smoke

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elysian-drops · 2 years

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Appetence Update

Hi everyone! So I just wanted to give you guys all a little update regarding Appetence.

First off, yes it’ll be returning here pretty soon! I’m angling to post some new material in the next couple of days or so. I can’t really say I’ll have a more concrete updating schedule (because lol, when have I ever? 😂) but I do have ~50 pages or so written, and my next steps are pretty plotted out. So fingers crossed!

Secondly, I have rewritten Chapter 66 entirely. That means I’m scrapping what has been posted and will be deleting that chapter from Ao3 shortly. I originally wrote 66 when I wasn’t in too great of a headspace, and after reading it again, I’m overall unsatisfied with the character interactions and yeah. In fact, I’ve decided to change my direction slightly. Because of this directional change, I feel we need more development in Harri + V’s relationship to make more of an impact for what I have planned, and the current 66 doesn’t really give us that. That being said, as fair warning, the new chapter might be a little rough to get through in the first half (I can already see people gunning for V in the comments 😂 which I don’t blame them for lol) but I promise it pays off in terms of their growth. Just giving you all a little heads up here because, ya know, it’s still Voldemort, and he’s trying to deal with a bunch of feelings that he isn’t equipped to process (and Harri is, well, Harri 😂).

Overall, that’s the extent of my update announcement for now! If you guys are really attached to the current 66, I say either download the chapter, or I can have it posted here as a sort of deleted scene tidbit. Either way, I’m super excited to move on and come back to this story 💕 And, because I’m so excited and I’m grateful to everyone who has stuck around throughout my hiatus, I’ve included a bit of a snippet from the new chapter below (please excuse any errors, I still need to edit!)

(also it's been how long since Harri laughed?? oopsie—)

#appetence #update #female harry potter #fem harry potter #writing snippet #harrymort #tomarry #harry potter fanfiction

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wonifilm · 1 year

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Tysm for 50 followers! I started this blog for fun as well as i was inspired to started one by @eundior! So thank you for this inspiration as i never would’ve thought of passing this milestone! I am so ever grateful for all the followers and all the kind people i’ve met on this platform here too <3

My fav blogs (not in order) :

@agsthv @baesol @boos2bies @chroumie @chaey2k @coriette @europhoria @eliatopia @eundior @haeivn @hyeism @h-aewo @i-kyujin @i04rei @iluvrei @i4sullyoon @isamiracle @kysbot @mindios @miunote @v-eoi @v-ico @w-onki @wonhrts @wiotas @yeritos @y-eora (+ and many more)

Again, thank you so much for supporting me ily all! Mwah💛

#♡ wonifilm #tumblr milestone #milestone #50 followers #TYSM!#ily all

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slayter-kinney · 7 months

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hi!! list 5 things that make you happy, then put this in the askbox for the last 10 people who reblogged something from you! get to know your mutuals and followers ♡

hi hi!! im so sorry im always so bad at responding to this kinda thing BUT this is for u and @danhowlter who both recently tagged me in this SO:

-my gf got me a set of watercolors for vday so im excited to do ~art~ again for the first time in 50 million years which makes me happy

-one of my friends just got back from japan and im excited to see him and im excited for my whole friend group to be back together again and do degenerate shit with them for the first time in a month and a half hehe

-one of our cats just game to sneef me while im typing this out so my kitties make me v happy :-)

-the phandom revival has also been # giving me life. its so nice to be like. idk. grown up gay adults with all of you when i know some of us have been here for a long time. tbh it feels even more like a community than ever which im v grateful for

-aaaaaand im happy to currently be surrounded by candles, my immaculately decorated living room, with some wine, watching youtube, everything lil 14 year old emily dreamed of

thank u :))))

#ask

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dustbinflower0 · 2 years

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I remember at the height of my blog way back people used to constantly send me messages, angry, telling me I wasn't trying, saying I didn't want to get better.

I've always been trying. What that has looked like has been different at different times. It's easier for people to believe you're trying if it looks like the things that show you're conforming and becoming a "useful" member of society. I'm sure there are people who think I'm trying more now that I have a job then when I was living in the hospital. Or maybe even think that things are going better now and I don't have to try as hard.

I'm still not comfortable being here alive. I dont know if I ever will be. It feels like a mistake and a burden and not something I've truly chosen or want. Why am I? I don't really have an answer. It's motion. I struggle through each day and make it to bed, not able to see beyond that. I know the next day there are people waiting for and expecting me at my program when it opens at 8am. That Elsie needs to go out. That at 11:15am my ride will pick me up from my program and take me to therapy, the four day a week time I've kept with Dr. V back since 2014 when I promised to do my 50% of the work.

When I don't have this structure I struggle even more. I get lost, don't feel real, suffocate. When I have much more than this going on I also struggle, emotional and physical exhaustion, getting overwhelmed, deteriorate.

There feels to be so much restriction on my life. I'm sure a lot of it is that I don't dream of anything. I don't envision a future even within the next couple months. Theres nothing I really want for myself. It's always just survival mode. I'm very grateful for a lot of things. I'm also very unhappy. I think it would be stronger to give up altogether.

#personal

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crackers4jenn · 6 months

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20 Questions for Fic Writers

(inside the cut to spare you)

1. How many works do you have on Ao3? 43. Some of them contain multiple fics, though. I might be pushing 50 if they were all out on their own.

2. What’s your total Ao3 word count? 408,702

3. What fandoms do you write for? On ao3, I've written for: Supernatural, Community, Rhett & Link, The Office, New Girl, Stranger Things. I also wrote a 'characters who were never the slayer' fic with characters from Glee, Parks and Rec, Miranda, himym, etc etc. I orphaned some Rookie Blue fics that I posted over there just because I got an anon message asking me if I could unlock them from lj.

4. What are your top five fics by kudos? All destiel fics:

sink - "Where to?" A 9.06 coda. (To be fair on this, I think there was a weird ao3 glitch that really skyrocketed the hits.)

Mr. and Mr. Winchester - "No pet names, I popped the question, and you're the girl." (Or, Dean and Castiel: fake-married. Set in a hypothetical s9.)

here's a map, here's a shovel, here's my achilles heel - Post-15x19. Turns out, Dean doesn't have to ask to get Cas back.

a way not steep - Dean's twenty-six and his roommate's a guy who cries during E.T.

wedding guy - "I'm Castiel. I wanted to let you know I've been noticing you all night, and I wanted to leave this with you, before I left." (aka Cas slips Dean his number at a wedding, and a friendship/relationship takes off from there.)

5. Do you respond to comments? Not always, which is v. lame of me. I do try to, but it feels overwhelming to think up different ways to say "thanks for reading" without it coming off as perfunctory because it's my tenth "thanks" in a row.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? Hmmm, maybe lights down low. 40k words of time traveling destiel just to bring Dean and Cas back to the purgatory portal where Cas doesn't follow Dean out. But, listen. I was proud of the twist ending.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? sky full of stars, maybe? Rhett and Link boning in a tent, with a sweet lil flashback to end things.

8. Do you get hate on fics? Nah.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? Yes. Yes, I do. The kind where they bone.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written? Not all that often, but I've written some wild ones. A Supernatural/Community tale where circa s5 Dean and Cas show up to Greendale, lured by Abed's Jesus movie. A himym/Community crossover where Barney enrolled at Greendale to bag some community college hotties. I wrote a Rhett and Link/spn fusion, where they were hunters.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? I haven't.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? I've had people ask. If they ever did anything with that, I never got tagged or it was posted off ao3. Someone did a pod-fic of one of them once, though, that was pretty cool.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? I have, I have. Long ago, @milkshakemicrowave and I were writing a Community fic together. I think I wrote the first chapter, then convinced her to write with me. We bailed after maaaaybe getting into chapter 3? I've also co-written a couple J2 fics with my Cas/Misha/destiel-hating bestie. Under a pseudonym, obvs.

14. What’s your all time favorite ship? I mean, I've got lots of those. Depends on the day. But when it comes to reading, it's Dean/Cas hands down. There's an abundance of riches and I'm grateful every day for the free serotonin.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? I never posted it to ao3, but I have like 20k words written of a Dean/Cas (of course) fic I started writing between seasons 7 and 8, with Dean and Cas in purgatory before we knew anythinggg about purgatory. I got to the point where I needed to figure out how they were getting out.

16. What are your writing strengths? One of my favorite bits of feedback that I get most often is that I write dialogue how people actually talk, which is nice.

17. What are your writing weaknesses? Plot. It's not that I don't have big, plotty ideas, I just don't know how to string plot along in a coherent way. I'm always so impressed by plot-heavy stories that STAY plot-heavy.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? I wouldn't personally, but more power to anyone taking on that challenge.

19. First fandom you wrote for? I want to say it was Buffy.

20. Favorite fic you’ve written? It's certainly not the best fic I've ever written, but I recently reread like only a best friend could and liked it enough I've been puttering away at a sequel.

#of course this was heavy on the destiel #i should've figured - it's my most written fandom #self #fic

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htubmanrenrappingblog · 9 months

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DEMS2024...DEMS2024...DEMS2024...DEMS2024!!!

2024...WHICH*ONE??? 46=OLDER*AGE??? OR

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#DEMOCRACY2024!!!#Youtube

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alreadydeadtoyou · 2 years

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Fuck You, Tom Wopat

Let’s see, along with Tom, there’s roughly the 50 other people/businesses I located long lost monie$ for after stumbling onto the California Unclaimed Property website in late May. While looking for my relatives, friends and friends of friends, something clicked with my OCD (funny-not-funny). With my 58th birthday right around the Gemini corner and knowing in advance I wouldn’t be getting shit, I didn’t see the harm in sending out letters to what/whom I thought would be grateful (in the case of a Fresno farmer) to amused AKA Tom Wopat.

Always resourceful, always cautious, always below the poverty level--I purchased 2 sheets of 1st Class USA postage to mail afore(skin)mentioned letters and told myself I would STOP once out of stamps. That would have been my birthday PIZZA money, but what would I know about treating myself well after a lifetime of zero self-care nor parenting?

I’m lonely, I live alone. Have lived alone since my 2014 divorce & subsequent breast cancer diagnosis. Had an Oncologist whom basically PLAYED me and was proud of it, I guess one can be that way when grateful folks treat you like god. I didn’t--was that your ‘problem’ with me? I wasn’t indifferent, it was just that after my BROTHER hijacked MY Aurora Cancer Clinic Oncologist while keeping his Stage 4 Melanoma a secret, this clever ass so much smarter than the rest of us doctor thought nothing of having us not only scheduled for the same general time, there was an incident where my brother was in THE NEXT EXAM ROOM (and in replaying the event after our INFUSION ROOM DUST UP) I’m sure his lil ole Golden Boy rage issues surfaced.

WHO knuckles up in the infusion room of a fucking cancer clinic?! I found a new doctor after that, angry that he used to equate me with a PHOENIX (and I ate that shit up). Objective met by Any Means Necessary, well fucking played.

I stopped going to the replacement Oncologist @ the Vince Lombardi Cancer Clinic. Maybe he would have been acceptable had he had my case from the onset, but this pointy-oxford shoe University of Lahore grad did not click with me. Mainly I saw a nurse practitioner--COVID didn’t help, but I’m done. Have not refilled the Letrozole.

Back to the pizza money investment: I also thought it would be a good way to use some nice (Leaning Tree, others) cards. I started going through the California Unclaimed Property listings and would research deep into the sativa filled night. I didn’t go as far as to create a spreadsheet, but I did jot down the basics. Nearly 6 months later, I’ve not received a single thank you. My mind is blown by that. Are people just that wary of being scammed? What would it be about my HAND ADDRESSED and hokey wholesome return address in the left hand corner that could be such a turn-off?

Me, I would love to open a card or #10 envelope to learn I have money/property/etc listed on the California Unclaimed Property website. Maybe I got ahead of myself--sure it would be easy to look up celebrities, but most of them HAVE money. I have a soft spot for the people who feed me and let the farmers know this when I sent their notifications! CRICKETS.

Is it the Controller, Betty Yee or Betty Lee or Betty Bee who advises potential claimants via the website NOT to pay heed to hand-addressed envelopes from some down and out breastless woman in rural Wisconsin behind all this? I don’t want to go all BLACK HELICOPTERS and wonder if I’m on some kind of misguided WATCH LIST, but I sure the fuck would like to make that PIZZA MONEY back, Tom Wopat.

Would a Nigerian scam artiste be using Windows 97? Sending greeting cards purchased at Fleet Farm 15+ years ago? Be satisfied if they received even FIVE (5, V, cinco) percent of a person’s FOUND money-stock certificates-etc?

Was there some Cali PROPOSITION LET THIS DOUGH ROLL BACK INTO THE GENERAL FUND because there is definitely something going on here, no way can THIS many people from all walks of life be this fucking rude!!

#Tom Wopat #California Unclaimed Property #Depression #Poverty #dysfunctional family #breast cancer

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vellichxrrs-incorrect-quotes · 3 years

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thank you so much for 50+ followers !!! <33 i'm so glad you all enjoy what i post !!

#vellichxrr's milestones—!#v grateful for the 50+ people here #and the ones who dont follow but like my posts #i appreciate you all

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cocobeanncteez · 3 years

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ATEEZ Hongjoong: Tame (Part 1)

Genre: Fluff, angst, smut, mafia au.

Pairing: Mafia!Hongjoong x OC (written in 2nd person)

Word Count: 17k in total, 5k in this part. (Part 2, Part 3, Final Part)

Warnings for all parts combined: Mafia themes such as torture, abuse, violence, human auctions, murder, drugs, guns. Mentions of rape, human trafficking, sex slavery, organ trafficking. Unprotected sex (pulling out), facesitting.

Other than Ateez, all other names are fictional.

"Where have you brought me?" you questioned, looking up at your uncle in pure detestation when he pushed you into a dark room and took off your blindfold.

"Change into that dress quickly," he replied, ignoring your question, pointing to a red dress lying on a chair. "It's time for me to make some good money." He smirked, giving you a look before leaving you alone in the dimly lit room.

You don't know why your uncle had brought you here. Your father recently went missing and now you were certain your uncle was behind it.

You rarely saw your father since you lived with your uncle and his family. Your mother passed away when you were a newborn and you have no siblings.

You glanced at the red dress your uncle told you to wear. It was quite short and had a deep V-neck. You sighed as you quickly wore the dress, looking into the dirty and damaged full-length mirror to see how it looked on you.

A woman dressed in a similar dress came inside the room. "I'm getting sold too," she said softly, making your eyebrows furrow in confusion.

"Sold? What do you mean?"

Before she could reply, two built men came into the room and grabbed you by the arms, forcefully dragging you out.

"Where are you taking me?!" you yelled, struggling to get your arms out of their strong grasp.

"Shut the fuck up if you don't want a bullet in your head," one the men said nonchalantly.

You could hear the familiar voice of your uncle and you assumed he was talking through a mic. You were thrown onto a stage, bright lights shining on you that blinded your vision.

Once your eyes adjusted to the light, you could see about a hundred people in the room, staring at you from head to toe.

"So who would like to buy this beauty?" your uncle yelled. All the men and even some of the women started yelling while raising their hands. You shivered, realizing that you were in some sort of human trafficking auction. Your eyes immediately teared up. How cruel could your uncle be? How cruel could all these people here be, selling humans like that?

You looked around, checking to see if there was any way to escape, but there were way too many guards, so you decided to go with the flow for now.

"We're starting from 50 million won," your uncle stated after the crowd calmed down.

You saw someone in the crowd raise a sign with their name and a number on it. "50 million!"

"70 million!"

"140 million!"

"250 million!"

"400 million!" a man yelled, causing everyone to keep quiet.

"400 million... going once, going—"

"500 million!" another man yelled. You could hear whispers all around you. You couldn't even believe how rich these people were, all their money obviously obtained through illegal means.

"500 million... Going once... going twice... sold!" your uncle said cheerfully and started clapping. "Congratulations, Mr. Byun! She's all yours!"

Two of Mr. Byun's men took you away and made you sit in a black car while their boss made his payment. They were really handsome and dressed in suits. You were actually terrified, but you tried to act normal.

You saw a man with long hair and thick bushy eyebrows approach the car. He was wearing spectacles and had a thick moustache. He got into the car, looking at you as he sat beside you. You noticed that he had a gun in his pocket, making you wonder what exactly he does for a living, albeit you had a fair idea already.

"Start driving, Mingi," he said in a mellifluous voice to the red-haired man who was sitting in the driver's seat. Mingi nodded and started driving immediately while you kept quiet and looked outside the window, pondering about how you could escape.

"Take that shit off, hyung. It looks hideous on you," the other guy with blue hair said, grabbing your attention.

Mr. Byun took off his spectacles, fake moustache and eyebrows, and the wig. You didn't even realize that he was wearing a disguise before.

Your eyes widened when you saw him. His features were sharp and absolutely perfect. He looked like he was going to shoot for some fashion magazine. He seemed to be around your age; so did the other two guys.

You didn't realize that you were gawking at him until Mingi chuckled. "Someone is shocked."

You blushed in embarrassment, instantly looking away. You cleared your throat. "I was just wondering why Mr. Byun was wearing a disguise."

"Oh Byun is just a fake name he used," Mingi said. "His name is actually Hongjoong."

And that's when it hit you.

"Hongjoong? As in, Kim Hongjoong of Ateez?" you blurted out, making all the three men's eyes widen.

Hongjoong quickly reached under the car seat, pulling out handcuffs before swiftly handcuffing you. He took his tie off and used it as a blindfold for you.

Your hands were handcuffed to the armrest of a chair. You really hoped these guys weren't Ateez. But after seeing the other five men once they removed your blindfold, you knew it was really them: the eight most feared men in the crime world in the country.

You were so fucked; especially since you were in an interrogation room with an unconscious bleeding man in the corner.

"How do you know me? How do know Ateez?" Hongjoong asked coldly, a small hint of panic in his eyes. You regretted opening your mouth before.

You averted your gaze from the bleeding man. "I... overheard my uncle talk about you," you answered honestly.

"Hongjoong, let San take care of this," one of the taller guys with black curly hair said.

"No, Seonghwa, I've got this," Hongjoong said, his eyes not leaving you.

Seonghwa only rolled his eyes. "San."

Another guy with pink hair nodded before approaching you. Hongjoong sighed in frustration before moving to the side, letting San replace him. You could easily tell that Hongjoong had a short temper.

"I'm going to ask you a few questions so please cooperate," San said with a sweet smile, letting his dimples show. You would've melted for that smile if you didn't know that he was extremely dangerous. "So tell me, what is your name?"

"Kiah... Moon Kiah," you replied.

"How old are you?"

"I'm 21."

"Who is your uncle who told you about us?"

You took a deep breath, already exhausting from the questioning. "Moon Younghyun." All the eight men look surprised.

"Your uncle sold you, his own niece, at a human auction?" Seonghwa asked with a frown and you nodded in response.

"That bastard," Mingi growled, surprising you. Why was he pissed about that?

"What did your uncle tell you about us, Kiah?" San questioned.

You bit your lip nervously. "I can't tell you."

"Why not?" San asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Cause you'll shoot me or rape me to death due to how offensive it is," you mumbled. "And honestly, I'd rather not die that way." The boys were shocked at your sudden boldness, not expecting you to say that at all. Half of them looked offended.

"Excuse me, woman, we're not rapists," the guy with purple hair said, clearly offended.

You raised an eyebrow. "That's not what I heard." You were wondering where your sudden confidence came from when these men could literally kill you in a fraction of a second.

"Well, then what did you hear?" San asked. "Tell us and we'll honestly tell you what's true and what's not." You contemplated that; you had nothing to lose anyway if they choose to kill you.

"I heard that Ateez is a mafia gang engaged in mostly human trafficking, drug deals, raping and murdering innocent people."

The guy with light brown hair, who looked like a Greek God, cleared his throat. "Out of everything you said, only the drug deals were true."

You snorted. "And why would I believe you?"

"Well, why would you believe your uncle who just sold you?" he retorted.

"But you guys fucking bought me at a human auction!"

"Would you rather be bought by someone else who would actually treat you like a fucking sex slave?" he asked, raising an eyebrow. You kept quiet at that. "Believe me, Kiah, that's what the people there were for. They were all looking for sex slaves."

"Yeosang's right," San stated. "You should be grateful that we saved your life."

"What were you guys doing there then?" you questioned. "If you claim that you don't do all that, then why were you there in the first place?"

"Your uncle is our enemy. We had to see what he was up to," Yunho answered.

"Then why did you buy me?"

"You ask way too many questions," Hongjoong snapped in an annoyed tone, trying not to lose his temper completely.

"Joong, chill," Seonghwa said, making Hongjoong roll his eyes.

Mingi moved to stand in front of you. "I was the one who begged Hongjoong to adopt you," he said with a smile.

"Terrible decision," Hongjoong muttered under his breath.

You snorted. "Adopt?"

Mingi shrugged. "I don't like the word 'bought' so we're just going to say that."

You smiled a little at his words. "All right, Mingi, care to explain why you... adopted me?"

Mingi grinned. "Well, I've seen you a couple of times near your university’s hospital," he stated, making the guys look at him in surprise; they didn't know Mingi knew your face before. "And besides, you're beautiful. It would be such a waste if you were sold as a sex slave when you're so talented." Hongjoong gives Mingi a look that didn't go unnoticed by you.

You chuckled. "What makes you think I'm talented?"

"I've done my research," he said. "You're the only nursing student intern who is allowed to watch surgeries and help in minor ones."

"No wonder you wanted to adopt her," Yunho remarked.

You heard a groan behind you, coming from the bleeding man who just gained consciousness. You felt really bad for him.

"Don't worry about him," Yeosang said, noticing the concern in your eyes. "He deserved it."

"Why?" you murmured. "What did he do?"

"You wouldn't want to know," Seonghwa laughed before turning to one of the guys. "Remove the handcuffs, Jongho."

Jongho nodded and unlocked the handcuffs around your wrists with a key. You stretched your arms out in front of you, feeling a little free now.

"All right, I can go home..." you trailed off, realizing that you didn't have a home anymore. Your uncle would definitely sell you again if you went back there. Looks like you would have to crash at a friend's place.

"I'm afraid we can't let you go," Hongjoong stated.

Your eyes widened. "You're keeping me hostage?!"

"You know too much about us," San said with a small smile. "We're sorry."

You scoffed, getting up from the chair. "I refuse to be a fucking prisoner here in your dungeon!"

"Holy fuck, you're so tiny!" Yunho said in awe, stepping forward to tower over you. "I think I'm a foot taller than you! How cute!" he squealed. Was this guy really in the Mafia?

Before you could respond, Yunho lifted you up like a baby. "I'm gonna show you the house."

He carried you out of the interrogation room and up a flight of stairs until you reached a living room that could easily fit more than three hundred people. Your eyes widened at the sight of it; surely this was a joke, right?

You were in a luxurious mansion.

You glanced around in awe, noticing how one side of the living room had floor to ceiling windows, complemented with maroon and gold curtains. There was a large open-kitchen right next to the living room, and a wooden staircase on the other side where pictures adorned the wall. You wondered how many rooms were in this mansion and what the exterior looked like.

Yunho set you down on your feet. "You're free to move around the house, Kiah. We aren't going to lock you up," he said, chuckling at your stunned reaction.

"How many rooms does this place have?" you questioned while walking around the living room.

Wooyoung plopped himself on one of the sofas. "There's nine bedrooms, ten bathrooms, and six other rooms for different purposes."

"The guest room is still under renovation, so you will be sleeping in Hongjoong's room for the time being," Mingi informed.

"What?!" You and Hongjoong yelled in unison.

"Not the bad temper guy of all people!" you whined, making all the guys except Hongjoong laugh. "Can't I sleep in your room instead?"

"You could," Mingi laughed. "But then my girlfriend would have my head."

"There's a woman in this house? Thank fucking goodness!" you sighed in relief.

Jongho chuckled. "There's three, actually. Well, now four."

"Where are they?" you questioned.

"Seonghwa's girl is on a mission so you'll see her next week," San replied. "I don't know where Mingi's girl is, and my girl is—"

"Hi!" you heard someone yell before running and pulling you into a tight hug. She pulled away and gave you a bright smile; you liked her already. "I'm Jiwoo!"

San chuckled at his girlfriend's actions before moving to wrap his arms around her waist. He kissed her forehead, making her smile. They were so cute! "This is my girlfriend, Jiwoo. Babe, this is Kiah."

"San and Jiwoo are the hyper couple here," Yunho stated. "They're both just so full of energy."

"We're going to be great friends, I'm sure of it!" Jiwoo said, making you smile.

Maybe living here wasn't going to be so bad after all.

Hongjoong's bedroom was huge. The walls were a penny brown and most of the decor was white and beige. There was a large TV right in front of the king sized bed. There was also a small flight of stairs leading down to a Jacuzzi that could fit six people in it.

You realized that you didn't have any clothes except for the red dress you were wearing right now. You didn't even have a phone anymore.

You heard footsteps behind you, making you turn to the source. A shirtless Hongjoong walked past you to the wardrobe, stripping until he was left only in his Calvin Klein hip briefs. You couldn't help but stare as he picked out some clothes to sleep in. You absentmindedly bit your lip when he wore his grey sweatpants and a black tank top. You quietly left the bathroom after washing your face, hoping he didn't notice you staring.

After several seconds, Hongjoong came into the bedroom, stretching his hands above his head. "You're gonna sleep in that?" he asked.

You rolled your eyes. "I don't have anything else to sleep in."

Hongjoong sighed before heading back to the wardrobe, coming back with a plain white t-shirt. He tossed it to you and you went to the bathroom to change. His t-shirt smelled so pleasant, you couldn't stop inhaling the scent.

When you went back to the bedroom, Hongjoong was in deep thought. "You know," he started, looking at you from head to toe, secretly loving the way his t-shirt looked on your small form. "I just realized that you didn't really protest to live here."

You sat on his springy bed. "Well, I don't have anywhere else to go."

He scoffed. "Or maybe you just want to live here."

"I used to live with my uncle. If I had my own place, I wouldn't even spend a second here," you deadpanned.

"So you've never worked?" he asked. "Not even a part time job?"

"Do you think medical students have time for that?" you retorted.

"Whatever," he mumbled. "Looks like you'll get along with Yeosang and Seonghwa."

"What makes you think that?"

"They're Ateez's doctors," he stated. "Well, Yeosang mainly works as our hacker, but he's almost as skilled as Seonghwa.

There was some silence for a while until you spoke, "Are we even in Seoul right now?"

"We're at the outskirts," Hongjoong answered. "Gwanak-san, to be precise."

"Ah, near my university!" you said happily. "Actually, you know what?"

"What?"

"I can stay with a friend," you said. "He has an apartment right beside my university."

Hongjoong chuckled, but he clearly wasn't amused at all. "I'm afraid that's not possible, love." Your heart skipped a beat at the way he said 'love' but you ignored it.

You frowned. "Why not?"

"Well, you already know too much about us," he stated. "Besides, you've already entered the Mafia world. There's no going back."

Your blood boiled. "I don't give a fuck, Hongjoong. I didn't ask you to buy me and pull me into your stupid Mafia world!" your voice was rising.

Hongjoong got annoyed at the way you raised your voice at him. "For your information, you got pulled into this world the second your uncle got involved in it! You lived with someone who's in the fucking Mafia!"

"At least my life was normal!" you retorted.

"You know what? Fine!" Hongjoong raised his voice, scaring you a little. "I'll personally drop you at your fucking uncle's house tomorrow, okay?!"

"You don't get to decide that and I'm not going back to that monster!"

"Then shut the fuck up and appreciate the shelter you've been given here goddammit!" Hongjoong runs a hand through his hair in frustration. You just keep quiet, looking away while your eyes filled with tears.

"Why the fuck did I even agree to buy a brat like you?" he murmured, but you heard him.

"Fuck yourself," you whispered.

In a flash, you were on your back, Hongjoong hovering above you.

"Don't you dare talk to me like that! You make me want to punish you so fucking bad," Hongjoong growled. Your heart was racing at how close he was.

"Get the fuck off me," you said, avoiding eye contact.

He grabbed your chin, making you look at him. "You piss me off so much, Moon Kiah."

You controlled the urge to roll your eyes. "Well, then tame your damn temper, Kim Hongjoong."

"Tame your attitude first, love," he chuckled bitterly before getting off of you. He lied on his back, looking up at the ceiling of his room. He clapped twice and the lights turn off, making the room pitch-black.

You bit your lip, wondering what to do. You couldn't stay here; you didn't even want to. You weren't meant for the Mafia world— you decided to get into the medical field so that you could save lives, not take them away.

You wanted to run away right now, even though it was half past midnight. But you needed a plan since you don't exactly know where you are were.

"I just realized," Hongjoong starts, smirking in the dark. "You haven't protested to sleeping on the same bed as me."

You snorted. "Why would I?"

"That's what girls usually do, don't they? And the guy will offer to take the couch instead of her."

"Well, I'm not like other girls," you stated. "I'd rather sleep on a bed than a couch outside, and I'm sure you'd prefer that as well. Besides, this is a king-sized bed. There's plenty of room for both of us. In fact, there's extra space cause you're tiny."

Hongjoong snorted. "Excuse me, I'm not tiny."

"You are."

"I'm more than half a foot taller than you, Kiah."

You shrugged. "Doesn't matter, tiny boy. You're still tinier than the other seven boys."

"But I lead them," Hongjoong said proudly with a smirk that you obviously couldn't see.

"What do you mean?" you questioned without thinking.

"Think, love," he answered.

You gave it a thought before your eyes widened in realization. "You're a... Mafia King."

He chuckled. "We actually use the term 'boss' but I like that," he said, pulling the blanket over your bodies.

"So the other seven boys follow your orders," it wasn't a question. You actually thought Seonghwa was the boss.

"Yup."

"I pity them," you murmured, but he heard you.

He scoffed. "You will be following my orders too," he said. "That's if we decide to make you one of us."

"Yeah... no, that's never gonna happen," you remarked. "I want to save lives, not take them away."

"Actually, you would want to take these lives away if you knew what these people do," he said, lying on his side to face you. "Ateez doesn't kill innocent people." You felt a little relieved at that; at least you knew you wouldn't die by a gunshot or something.

"And what do those people do that makes you want to kill them?" you questioned, turning onto your side as well so that you were facing him.

He snorted. "Do you really want to know?"

"I wouldn't ask if I didn't."

"We usually kill rapists and human traffickers. These people mostly target women and children. They kidnap children, rape them, and then sell their organs within the country or internationally. The women are usually sold as sex slaves or kept in prostitution centers. Some mafia gangs own strip clubs where their strippers get assaulted or raped by customers and they do nothing about it."

"Your uncle used to run a fake orphanage," Hongjoong continues. "I came across that place when I was fifteen years old and found out that they were keeping those kids there to sell their organs. I told my parents about it and we bombed that place after rescuing those children, and put them in an actual proper orphanage. Two boys who were just a year younger than me had escaped from the orphanage. They ran after my parents just to thank them for saving their lives. My parents saw a lot of potential in the two boys and decided to take them in. That's how Yeosang and Wooyoung became a part of my family."

The story really broke your heart; you couldn't even imagine what those two had to go through when they were just in their early teens. You were curious about the other six boys' stories too. You wanted to ask Hongjoong about it, but now didn't seem like the right time.

You don't really know how and when you fell asleep after hearing all those disturbing things, but somehow you did.

And when you woke up, you were in Hongjoong's arms.

You tried to escape from him, but his hold around you was too strong. You gave up on trying and chose to admire his beautiful face instead.

You had to admit, Hongjoong was extremely handsome. You've never seen anyone look this good while they're asleep. He looked so soft and angelic, you found it hard to believe that he was in the mafia, let alone a mafia boss.

You heard a knock on the bedroom door before the door opened, revealing San and Jiwoo.

"Hi!" Jiwoo greeted. "Good morning!" You wondered how she had so much energy in the morning.

"I see you've slept well," San commented with a smirk while gesturing at Hongjoong's arms around you.

You blushed. "Help me." San easily lifted Hongjoong's arm off of you.

"He sleeps like he's in coma," San said, making you chuckle while you stretched your arms.

"We're going shopping today," Jiwoo said to you. "You need clothes."

"I don't have any money, Jiwoo," you said.

She snorted. "You don't have to worry about that, we're paying for you."

You opened your mouth to protest, but San interrupted you. "We don't have any plans of letting you go, Kiah. Think of it as a gift for joining us." You just nodded in response even though you wanted to disagree. You weren't going to join a mafia gang; that was the last thing you wanted to do.

You had to escape.

You had just come back from shopping with Jiwoo, exhausted from walking around the mall; you were pretty sure that she made you spend more than ten million won.

"So Kiah," Yeosang starts, sitting on the sofa beside Mingi and Seonghwa. "You're a medical student, right?"

"Yup, majoring in nursing," you nodded. "Hongjoong told me that you and Seonghwa are the doctors of the gang."

"What were you planning to do after graduation?" Seonghwa asked. You didn't miss how he used 'were' instead of 'are.'

You gently cleared your throat. "Well, I want to become a surgical nurse for the cardiac department."

"Ah, that's great!" he said with a smile. "I wanted to get into Neuro."

"Why didn't you?" you asked while absentmindedly playing with a strand of your hair.

"Once you join the mafia, you have to sacrifice having a normal job," Yeosang replied nonchalantly. You couldn't tell if he was sad about it.

"I wanted to ask you all something," you murmured, but the three of them heard you clearly.

"You can ask us anything you want, Kiah," Mingi encouraged. "We'll answer everything."

"Well, if you're gonna keep me here..." you hesitated for a second. "Um, does that mean that I can't work?" Yeosang and Seonghwa exchanged a glance that didn't go unnoticed by you.

"You'll have to ask Hongjoong about that, but mostly yes. You won't be able to work," Seonghwa said. "It's too dangerous. You can only work for us." You only nodded, unhappy with the words you heard.

"Can I at least attend my own graduation?" you were mentally begging they would agree.

"When is it?" Yeosang asked.

"It's on the day after tomorrow."

"Of course you can," Hongjoong said, entering the living room and plopping down on one of the sofas.

"Really?!" you squealed in excitement.

"I was being sarcastic," he stated, making your smile immediately falter.

"I didn't study my ass off for nothing, Hongjoong," you said, crossing your arms over your chest.

He scoffed. "Do you think I care?"

"Well, I do." You were starting to get angry. Yunho entered the living room, not saying anything due to the tense atmosphere.

"You'll put us and people you know at risk," Hongjoong shrugged.

"That's your problem," you remarked, pissing him off. "I didn't ask you to buy me, Hongjoong."

"Adopt," Mingi mumbled, but you ignored him.

You and Hongjoong were locked in a glaring contest. Yunho cleared his throat after a while, catching Hongjoong's and your attention. "Hyung, you disguised yourself. No one knows that it was you who bought her."

"Adopted," Mingi murmured, getting ignored again.

Hongjoong gave it a thought. "Fine," he agreed. "But we all will attend it too, whether you like it or not."

“Deal.”

You were seated in your respective seat, desperately waiting for the graduation ceremony to get over even though one of Seoul's top doctors was invited to talk. All eight boys and Jiwoo were attending your graduation. You wished your father was here to watch you graduate.

Once the ceremony was finally over and all the students collected their diplomas, you all gathered around to throw your dark blue caps in the air.

"I can't believe we successfully survived four entire years," Dongyoon remarked.

"Time to try to survive med school now," Yonghwa said and Chanhee nodded in agreement; they were on the road to becoming doctors. "But for now, let's get fucking wasted!"

You were at one of Seoul's best nightclubs in Gangnam; you didn't tell anyone in Ateez that you'd leave with your university friends. This was your way of running away. You were going to stay with Chanhee until you found a place.

Being a Tuesday night, the club wasn't crowded. Most of the people here were definitely high school or university students. After all, it was graduation week in Korea.

You drank and danced with your friends until you were drunk as fuck and your feet hurt. You felt so relaxed, just paying attention to the blasting music while the alcohol in your system gave you some energy.

"Oh? Who do we have here?" you heard a familiar voice say behind you while you took another shot. You had no idea where your friends were.

You turned around and squinted to look at the man. "Moon Bojoon...?"

"Hello, sister," your cousin chuckled, putting his arms around your drunk form. You hated him with every fiber of your being— he tried to sexually assault you a couple of times. Living under the same roof as him was hell.

"Get your hands off me," you yelled over the loud music, weakly trying to push him away; he didn't even move an inch.

His grip around you tightened. "I wonder who father sold you to. How lenient are they to let their sex slave go out to party...? Or did you run away?"

You tried to push him away again. "Fuck off!"

He grabbed you by your arm and pulled you along until he reached the parking lot of the club. He pushed you harshly against his car, making you groan in pain when your head hit the window.

Bojoon moved his face closer to yours. "I'm gonna sell you this time," he whispered in your ear. "But I'll have my fun with you first, of course."

"Get away from me!" you yelled while your vision got blurry. Before you could comprehend what was even happening, you passed out.

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