#vague exposition: the starter

[lazzarella]

Going to try to start posting more of my thoughts on shows as I watch or re-watch them because it's my blog and no one can stop me. Anyway! Starting with Hidden Agenda because that's the most recent one I've finished

My expectations were tempered going in—not because most other people said it was terrible, because I've learnt not to put much stock in others' opinions on media as they often don't line up with mine, but because I didn't care much for JoongDunk's scenes in Sky in My Heart. (Tbf, there weren’t that many.) But I liked the premise (it very vaguely made me think of one of my favourite movies, Plan B, even though it's actually nothing like it—just a connection my brain made) and I saw that AouBoom were the side pairing, so I figured I'd give it a go! Not like I'm marrying it, you know?

Anyway, I ended up having a blast! 

Look, did I sometimes wonder if I'd blacked out for a minute or two and missed some important scene or piece of exposition because I was lost about how we got somewhere? A few times, for sure. And could some of the acting have been stronger? Probably, but I've seen way worse acting. Like way worse. Way. Worse. Plus it was never unwatchable for me? And my secondhand embarrassment threshold is pretty low. And did it just pile on a bunch of drama (especially toward the end) that sometimes got resolved super quickly even though it probably should have taken longer? Again, yes. But, somehow, it all worked for me?? It did a lot of things that usually bug me, but there was *something* about this show that kept me hooked.

Like I said, I had a blast! I enjoyed pretty much every minute of it, and I was never bored. I thought Joong and Dunk were super cute together and definitely not shy about the kissing, Aou and Boom may not have had many scenes but I just love them together, I was impressed by both the level and variety of drama they managed to pack in (there's a stalker and both mommy and daddy issues and homophobia, just for starters), and it has some incredibly pretty cinematography! And lots of really good hugs!

I know this is a not a very insightful ‘review’, but I'm a little rusty! But, yeah, genuinely had a great time with this show, it's a solid 8/10 for me! 

[jxgi]

an independent roleplay blog for hokuto no ken's jagi; with verses based in final fantasy, resident evil, modern / realistic aus and more. a study in jealousy and hate - a life lost and the exploration of the sadness beneath sociopathy.

ambition tearing out the heart of you, carving lines into you

[ carrd ] | [ main ] | [ ask ]

  001   This is an independent roleplay blog for the character of Jagi from the manga / anime / game, Fist of the North Star aka Hokuto No Ken. Obviously, this character doesn't belong to me. The character of Jagi is a mean, villainous character and his backstory has a good amount of triggering content. Please keep this in mind when interacting. This blog is 18+ (adults only) and low activity.

  002   Triggering content that you can expect to see frequently on this blog will be violence, murder, aggression, blood and general fighting / battle themes. Sexual content will be present, as will consensual-rough sex. Explicitly dark themes such as rape / sexual violence / dubcon etc, will be alluded to in terms of backstory but not necessarily written. Everything will be tagged. Example is - 'tw.triggerhere'. I, myself, have no triggers.

  003   Mun's name is Han, you may know me from such blogs as 'cwarscars' (a badly written attempt at a military general in a fantasy world) and 'mencnfire' (a multimuse attempt at some veteran type characters who all have issues). Are you noticing a theme? Lol. I'm 29, work full time and like to do all sorts of stuff so I wont be super active. I'm pretty friendly and very chilled out, discord is available on the carrd - just tell me who you are if you add me please.

  004   This blog is low activity; primarily because I work full-time hours and have other stuff going on outside of the online world. Generally, I like to restrict myself from being online too much. It's never anything personal if I'm not online, don't reply to a message or favour one thread over another. I just have limited time to work with and am terrible at messages. I do like communication, but I also appreciate realism, understanding and patience. I give exactly what I expect of partners. Be laid-back and just have fun!

  005   Generally, I prefer longer threads and planned threads. I will do the odd starter or random thread about random thing, but I love a good, juicy, well-thought-out thing. If we're going to plot, I love to have a beginning, middle and end. They are my favourite kinds of threads to write. I don't like too much exposition and prefer a slow burn when it comes to all manner of relationships etc. I can't be bothered to use icons and fancy formatting gives me migraines, so I'll just stick to standard small text.

  006   In terms of character / shipping. I base my Jagi's backstory off of his story in Jagi Gaiden. If you're not a fan of HNK / barely know it, don't worry - Jagi has a tonne of verses I have thrown him into and I am more than open to writing a new verse to base around our muses! Regarding shipping - I am open to it! But keep in mind that Jagi is a sociopath and a dangerous murderer. As you can imagine, I'm willing to write most kinds of ships, be they romantic, dark, family, dark-romance etc. However, Jagi will not sexually assault or rape your muse. I've got ten years+ of writing villains under my belt and people trying to force that on you is never enjoyable.

  007   Please don't block-evade, hound me for replies, do any creepy shit like stalk my blog / discord, talk shit etc. This is a weird, slightly vague rule but I'm just not down for the high-school side of the RPC nor am I down for the weird things such as block-evading and the like. Please don't pretend to be someone you're not to me (as in, literally pretend to be another person), it's very unsettling behaviour.

  008   I have approximately minus interest in getting involved in any slapfights between pro-ship & anti-ship content. I believe in freedom of expression and am anti-censorship, but I also believe that people are allowed to be unsettled / turned-off by certain content. Generally, I'm open-minded but also do my best to be respectful. As said previously, stuff is tagged, dark content will be written, but I also have limits and I respect others' limits, too.

 009   My main blog is CWARSCARS and generally, I'll be over there. I just needed to get the rascal that is Jagi off of my chest for a little while as I replenish my writing juices (gross lol).Have fun and I hope we have good rp times! :-)

[cacaitos]

so i wanted to rectify this part pon further reflection (specifically abt JnS at least) w what i was saying earlier. while obviously the characters are going to be affected on a personality level by their respective kind of opression and obviously where thwy intersect with others', i now think that's not the true purpose of the story.

but the more i think about it the more it seems to me that it's there to facilitate certain situations or types of interpersonal relationship. am i making sense? that their oppression exists vaguely and/or marginally from the actual character development, or that is defined through the rejection of other things, as a shadow of itself and its material qualities. that the story is not about them but how they set up other things?

say, for starters, obviously J or any random Joe or Jane character on the 60s for that matter, wouldnt start articulately and verbosely describing their complex relationship with xy or z about their identity in modern term bc yk, Exposition, not what im asking for. but moreso it's the point w her that despite it being technically her story, so much is told from other people's point of view or from this more distant style of narration. few internal dialogue; more action oriented, at least for her. at how many points does J say what she feels abt her gender versus the more overwhelming verbal and physical statements other people do to negate it or validate it. while directly affected by it, storywise it's more relevant the effects of the oppresion it has on her personality and the personalities of others than the way itself those two characters' opressions are related.

paul, for starters rectifying he's half ethnically jewish but mostly always christian, not a *religion* convert itself. as far as the story is concerned for the plot, it or his jewishness is defined by what is or what's not christian, by what is not-jewish or un-jewish, what's 'un-normal' (for the american identity), not by almost any definition of what it 'is'. he disavows his father, even if just through indifference didn't care much his traditions (esp gone his mothers wishes too) and is an avid christian, so his story is not so much *about* being jewish so much as is abt how he feels abt it being a shadow, a ghost that creeps behind it. am i conveying correctly what i mean. even christianity (in many other works from places where christianity isnt majority and a given anyway) is more important in the kinds of people (characters) or associations abt character it creates rather than any specific belief. it's not about christianity either.

so paul dislikes J (for ex) not because he's christian but bc she lives openly and 'incorrectly' in a way he can't bc of the things (stability, belonging, etc) he gets though being 'correct' by the acts and appearance of performing christianity, not for christian beliefs.

rita escapes me right now but i hope im conveying my point abt (and i will keep it between JnS, TnS and ktknu for now) ethnicity/race so on while technically relevant to the characters it could very well be better defined as a narrative tool before it is actually important or the foundation to the character/stories. that is not their mariginalizations that instersect but their residual personalities caused by them. or something.

[oflightfeet]

with. – @samirkotecha​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​ where. – the femenias estate; grounds. when. – the night of 2 and 3 february.

They place a stolen cigarette between tense lips. Wren stopped smoking two and something years ago, more out of necessity than self-care, but when they had seen a pack poking out of some stranger’s coat pocket, they’d swiped it. With panic crawling in their chest, they crave the rhythm of inhalation and exhaling, of bringing cigarette up and down. A distraction: that’s all it really is. And so they light the small stick with the lighter that had – luckily – been left in the pack and start moving, muscles tense, head filled, Rafael’s anger and flying glass still fresh on their mind. 

The winter air is cold and refreshing, but not enough to calm Wren, really. They’ve been cautiously composed all evening, emotions buried as this is not the place for them, as this is not their tragedy to be upset over — but now here they are, feelings unburied and fear catching up on them. Half an hour they give themselves, half an hour of panicked tears and condemning themselves. And then it’ll be done. But amidst panicked drags from the by now second stolen cigarette, Wren hears a rustle. Their ears are sharp, senses like the knife they keep in their boot, even now that they succumb. A hand wipes over face and they turn to face the source of the sound.

They stare, eyes wide, like a rabbit in the forest faced with predator, frozen for a second. When Wren opens their mouth and says, “What the fuck are you doing here?”, it could have been a demand if it wasn’t for the hoarseness of their voice. Eyes continue to stare Samir Kotecha down, wary and red-rimmed, muscles tensing in anticipation. What this is, Wren does not know, but they do know that the Truce has been broken, that this is a member of War and that they are on Famine ground. It’s enough for them to grow aware of the weapon on their body. “Looking to get yourself killed?” Not that they think they are capable of such a thing, but there’s people inside the estate who wouldn’t hesitate, Wren knows that much.

[mysticandskepticmuses]

@sicutcanis​ liked for a pirate!mermaid starter from ryn fisher.

      It was never truly quiet on a ship; the tug and pull of the water against the hull, the creak of wood and the wind catching sails, ropes, hooks and pulleys, the sounds of many men confined within the tar coated wood -- all that kept them from a certain death, most especially this far from land, and yet here they all were, keen to know the sting of salt wind and sun against their flesh.  Nearly creatures of the ocean, themselves.  Some more than others.  But it was this time, at the darkest part of the night, that the sounds of man was quietest, when she could let herself stand, tucked into one of the outermost part of the railing, let her eyes sink closed, and let the sounds of the water beneath her sink over her.  It was not the same, as being within the water, the feel of it against her skin and scales, the sound that carried for as far as she could see, but it was enough, for now.  Eventually, she would grow too lonely, or her body would begin to weaken and show signs of her true form, and she would be forced to slip into the water.  But she had days, still.    A soft inhale, calloused fingers tangled in ropes and against rail, before lashes snapped apart, her head tilting to look over her shoulder as the sound of quiet footsteps drew too near to be by chance.  

    Her head ducked, tilting down slightly, the instinctive sign of subjugation, eyes lowered, if only briefly.  It was still difficult to adjust to the ways in which the humans assumed the males the superior and more powerful, but she had her own part to play.    With her hair swept back in a loose, tangled ponytail, her small features wrapped and concealed, at least she had only to admit his power over her because of his position.   “I do not disturb?”   Her voice was still higher pitched than some, though she had learned to let a low huskiness creep into the words.

[futurefind]

Open (FE3H)

At times she wonders why he's here, but regardless of her gripes with the Church (never mind her initial service having been a trade to ensure her freedom—outside a cell, at least)...

Well, Sasume can't deny she prefers the company to not. Sure she'd hardly call any of the knights her friends, but they're not the worst company nor sparring partners. Moreover—

It's nice to feel accepted, if only marginally. If only based upon her blade, and oft her facelessness.

She usually doesn't head out on the more routine battles the Professor loves so much, but that at least prevents their keen eyes from noticing her abnormal capabilities. And their talent is much better spent focusing on tactics and the after-battle analytics, particularly since they'd just returned from—

Shit.

The swordswoman knowns as Hawthorn rushes up to the injured straggler. And they are injured, much as they seem to be trying to hide it—the shift in posture and slowing gait are clear enough to her.

"Come on," she says gruffly in way of greeting, moving herself to their side and wrapping her arm around their waist.

"Even you can't avoid a trip to the healer's tent."

[epitheta]

[...]

hm. [?] pay no mind, it’s one of those bed mumbles and waves it off type of hours. the sudden tidal wave of embarrassment that comes after fixation is coming around...

note that all of these type of text posts are prefaced with an “I Think That [...],” and to avoid the search system, I usually, um. shorthand the names. you’ll see. you’ll understand.

moving on.

>

through game and programming shenanigans, I imagine they came into existence at the same time; however, I’d suppose that maybe seniority can be designated from left to right of the markers in [ACT II] as a form of “who was designed first?”

you begin with the long-lived, death (and life); that of beasts and the like follows after. this to be advanced by technology, and to incorporate fantastical elements: you bring in magicks. (though perhaps that one can be attributed for VisualFlair to an inane degree? the process for that one in particular however is rather...)

(alternatively you can go with who opens their [eyes] first in the scrybe intro, which would be :: Lshy -> Grmra -> Mgnfcs -> 03 :: but I don’t think that’s As fun, and it’s a little bit of its own headache to look at the markers that way... for me. ‘cause my brain is as smooth as a flatworm.)

and while timelines are weird to consider, I suppose it can always be excused by tossing in “[character] background settings” and interactions?

grmra favoring exposition and characterizations, lshy enjoying the aspects of environment/atmosphere and storytelling... they seem like they would, at the least, be an agreeable duo together given that they are tied in together (literally. hello islands). I mean. gestures vaguely. decent regards to subordinates. the whole deathcard thing? bro.

slide 03 in, that one for standard rules and gameplay. of course something as mechanical as it is would find more interest in mechanics - its deck is almost seemingly the easiest to grasp at the start, and not one person will play the same starter deck the same way. the variables are many. and while it may behave like a sore-loser and blame a loss on RNG (since, hey. it’s had to have calculated a bunch of simulations with various things), I just. I don’t think that given the chance outside of the whole [wanting you to win for the great transcendence] that it would have done things like lshy did. -> eight grizzlies example among some other things. it can accept (inwardly) a few times that the challenger may have made some good deck decisions and/or synergies. there’s no self-[] and pain involved in its campaign either - you just need to strategize and keep at it. ‘course, that means the cards are just factory-churned and doesn’t have possibly as much sentimental values as other things, but they serve their purpose well enough, don’t they?

(gently touches the ground. there is something to say about 0lly here as well in the suppressed curiosity and idealized outlook on the web but. flails and flounders)

I mean. mgnfcs is an obvious thing of visuals, but then everything else feels rather lacking as a result and maybe awfully long-winded (the gems...), though I suppose that’s his own way of making you feel impressed and immersed in the game the heart of the cards. ????????

>

I don’t really have anywhere I was going with this, but I just like their respective designs and themes... it’s really cool.

lshy: standard bell and scales, a campaign map where you can somewhat see in advance routes you can take with its own nifty details. it’s a matter of replay and a few more rounds. you sacrifice squirrels and co and your cards lunge to attack.

grmra: no bell but a pulley system and a cool pointer hand, a board with figurines. probably cool ass bosses with a load of personality and spunk to them (considering that one guy will commit vehicular manslaughter). you are graverobbing bones and your cards will knock them dead.

03: bootleg lshy [/j] // lots of mechanical/techy nonsensery, the scales tell you outright that you are in [DANGER] if you are a point away from losing which is cool, and it’s a set-up of forgiving (in that you do not restart as a “new player” but continue challenging from the same file) exploration with pre-determined battles and patterns. there’s a recharging system and you just fucking shoot them with a gun.

mgnfcs: I’d like to know, honestly, what his would have been like. maybe it would be grandiose and tacky. pictures can say a thousand words, so maybe it would be a matter of interpreting things yourself. also you get to see Cool Live Things conjure Cool Spells for you.

dunno, dunno... think I just need another nap.

[legionofpotatoes]

spiders man thonks. yuge yuge spoilers. marvel movies completely fall apart without their plot so putting everything under the cut and engaging all possible tag shielding procedures.

so right off the bat it will be impossible not to compare this to spider-verse. insane bar to set given the circumstances but AIGHT. my reasoning for that is that it tries to do many of the same things, especially irt facilitating pivotal hero growth through transcending satellite alternate self POVs/granting them their own catharses in the process/creating tangible moments of literal self-reflection as a result. here it's all framed towards earning the great responsibility line in-text (I mean it's been alluded to and thematically explored already, sure, but we're all about metanarratives in the MCU and this one completely shuts down any and all attempts at pretending otherwise).

and so to get there the plot twists itself into a weird carousel of multiverse villain vignettes that ambitiously attempt to microdose us on their ideological conflicts with their respective arachnofoes, which the film then entirely undersells by artificially misconstruing these arcs in order to deliberately hand holland-pete an opportunity to "fix" their "evilry" so they don't have to die later or some nonsense. it's. a very strange premise, even beyond the completely and utterly bonkers idea that these people's "evil nature" can be "fixed" (they keep using this word, not me) with pacifier mcguffins without really engaging with their ideologies in the first place - so it becomes this massive non-starter of a setup.

(it also reeks of a particular way of thinking in modern fandoms where a character death is to be avoided at literally all dramatic, thematic, and cathartic costs - even if it means completely handwaving their interiority away to simply get them to be friendly and sit around in a kitchen. Making a point to say I do NOT think this is intentional in story optics here, but due to the plot-first-story-second writing in all these MCU movies we can't help but end up plucking these mostly okay-executed characters from important dramatic points in their past movies and completely canceling their growth just to make sure they don't uhhh die as a result of those same coherent stories. and it's just strange seeing the movie stick to that moral high horse all the way through, turning it into this weird double-edged sword where it kinda makes sense for hollandman's psychology but also comes off disingenuously flippant in a meta sense toward past films and their approaches to story. it's weird. it's just weird and I don't like it. I'm sorry but giving otto a magic chip that fixes his mind and sending him back reformed is a thousand times less profound than the original crescendo of his emotional story in SM2. It just is. and i realize this movie has its own operating plane, I understand that, yet still. I dislike it selfishly anyway. get your own ock if you're doing this)

but it's all good because we have the other two white spider dudes from cinematic history past summoned in to help hollandman fix these baddies by giving them kindness serums and/or superpower handicaps and later on they also assist our lad in not becoming a literal killer by sharing in their vaguely similar trauma to help him cope with his. it. kinda works? but the catharses here are, again, hit-or-miss meta beats predicated on past films/minimal exposition/actor experiences(?) which. I mean. Is probably the best we're fucking getting in this weird transmedia landscape I guess. spider-verse did this and more in an entirely self-contained way, giving you every morsel of information and context necessary for its dramatic payoffs.

and again you just can't help but see the clunky satellite stories and then look back at the deft ping-pong dance of spider-verse's feedback loops between miles, pete, and gwen as they learn from and grow into their kinder, softer, braver selves. there really is no room for any such open-hearted story surgery here; it is much the same type of self-indulgent and kinetic romping across a kaleidoscope of fanservice the MCU is known for, so well-targeted and in abundance here that the fulfillment arrives all the same. so does any of this even matter? do coherent thematic beats matter? what happened in that oddly shallow moment where tobey momentarily stopped tom from impaling the goblin? with the meaningful gaze and? what happens there? what changes in tom? It's all supposed to work like gangbusters and fireworks and the movie itself musically swells and tries to sell it, but dramatically? it's all just. mush, to me. tirespinning.

to wit. tom-pete makes a massive, spider-man-sized sacrifice by the end, tragic and heroic all at once, earning him the responsibility mantle in spades; but I still don't get how he arrives at that decision other than just raw plot. because given the option, the peter parker we meet in the very beginning of this movie would make the exact same choice. he fantasized of a more convenient one and it was immediately bolstered and promised by strange, but honestly? if he hadn't? I don't know. feels like we'd have saved ourselves a movie.

and not seeing this young, fallible kid go through tangible, meaningful change is perhaps my biggest gripe with watts' trilogy. he's just always a lovable fuckup with a heart of gold. never disillusioned like pete b, never fully heartbroken like gwen, never paralyzed by fear like miles. never anywhere to grow from, except maybe sideways out of plot-inflicted emotional and physical tolls. he just needs someone to catch and hold off his killing blow long enough for him to collect himself and go back to being perfect.

assorted bulletpoints that don't fit in my semiotic ramble:

I kinda love how Ned is always this slinky toy of a character that conforms to whatever the story needs him to be. genuinely enamored with jacob's performance

opposite that, what an ongoing and massive waste of zendaya in these films. did she and may exchange more than a few words here? I forget

man willem dafoe really has some get up and go huh?? why'd he have to perform MMA on that poor teenager. loved seeing him have some genuine fun in this movie lmao

apropos of that. the something of a scientist myself line. I was in hysterics. fan service is only good if I like it, actually

hey and we all love tobey and seeing him is always a delight but knowing of garfield's aching connection with the character filled me with so much joy as I saw him play out some gratifying beats, while at the same time it made me scratch my head as to why he'd even want to do it like. in this, like this. eeh?

shittiest statue of liberty ever

stephen's winter coat/college hoodie/sweats/uggs look in concert with his impeccably groomed facial hair and the same-ass magic cloak he always wears

so the uhh biomechanical madman can sit in the kitchen, volatile electric dude and the literal sentient sandstorm can have the couch, guy who blew up a highway twenty minutes ago gets access to classified tech in the back room, dinosaur man stays in van

left unsatisfied with alex jones jameson's character arc despite lavish emotional potential

I know this is me shaking the gift horse down for lunch money but seeing like. other spiders, sillier spiders. would have been cool. even electro noticed the caucasity, c'mon

in the end they really went like. lovers-to-strangers coffeeshop au. insta-burn

I mean we all know that in the grand scheme of things the MCU loves resetting their characters to their baseline brand templates, but holy fuck they don't even wink atcha here

DANI ROJAS AS VENOM PLEASE. FUTBOL IS EATING PEOPLE

[jebazzled]

rp guide directory

hi there! glad you found my weird corner of tumblr. this is mostly a dumping ground for vague inspo and coding updates - and my fave, roleplay guides! I'll keep this directory updated as I expand my ~offerings.

As always, feel free to drop into my ask if you have any topics you'd like hot takes on lmao

Writing Guides

These guides are about applications, character development, plotting, and threading - the meat and potatoes of writing.

Below are some general tips & tricks, with more shit sorted by category.

Beginner, Intermediate, and Advanced RP What does it all mean? Where do I fit in? How do I (Ciara voice) level up, level up, level up level up level up,

Writing Want Ads We want these to work for you, yes? Here's how to write shit people are actually going to want to pick up.

Writing Posts That Go Somewhere Are you making it impossible for people to reply on your threads?

Applications

Upcycling Intermediate Apps If you're looking to get involved on more literary sites this might be helpful in making use of your old materials!

Writing Apps in Second Person Writing in second person is more complicated than swapping out your pronouns, y'all!

Making Journal Apps Work Journal apps are a tricky beast and you've got to be sure you're doing it for reasons beyond "I want to just exposition dump"

Making Interview Apps Work Same as above: both of these formats are harder to pull off well than people think!

Freestyle Apps Starter prompts if you're feeling stuck!

Character Development

Writing Villains It's more complicated than having them do Bad Things, and you might be writing OP cringefests!

Tragic Backstories It's more complicated than generating angst, and you might be writing overwrought cringefests!

A Mary Sue in Literary Clothing Mary Sues hit different these days, and you might be writing one. You might be writing one really well, but a Highly Aesthetic Mary Sue is still a Mary Sue, and come on. You can do better dev than that, my friend.

Roleplay Guides

These guides are more about the interpersonal & psychological side of rp as a hobby - less about how you write and more about how you interact.

Shut Up and Write If you're a person who is always bitching abt Not Having Muse, take this one for a spin.

Should You Open a Site? What's making you decide you want to staff? Is it a good reason, or one that will bite you in the ass later?

Troubleshooting Are you using rp to avoid working on personal issues? If you find drama following you on every site, you should read this. I love you, but the call is coming from inside the house.

[trulyinspiringmovies]

Eternals

“Eternals” is a beautiful mess of a film.

Ajak, Sersi, Ikaris, Kingo, Sprite, Phastos, Makkari, Druig, Gilgamesh, and Thena are all Eternals created by the Celestial Arishem. Their purpose was to protect humans from Deviants, a race of monsters that kill off creation. The Eternals are told not to interfere with human affairs unless Deviants were involved. When they thought they killed off the last of the Deviants, the Eternals were split on how they should use their powers from that moment on. They all split up for 500 years only to be reunited through the possibility of the end of the world.

Right off the bat, I knew this was going to be a gorgeous-looking film. I wish I could’ve enjoyed the scenery more, but the aspect ratio kept flickering back and forth each shot and it was driving me absolutely insane. It’s due to the fact that not everything was shot in IMAX, but having fight scenes with quick cuts being two different aspect ratios was not a good move. Still, this movie handles its visuals well. The settings are always scenic and the visual effects were always on point. Some of the fight scenes involving super speed really impressed me because the visuals were stunning. The Celestials themselves are really worth watching this movie in IMAX. I feel like it’s the only way to truly capture their scale and size. The Eternals were great too. Each one felt like a unique person. Most of them were deep and complex as well, which is impressive when you consider that there are ten of them in total. The only problematic character was Sersi. Sersi is basically the protagonist of this movie, yet she’s given no defining character trait other than liking her iPhone. Literally, everyone else was given something to do in this film. Sersi is just here to be the love interest and forced leader. Speaking of love interests, Sersi and Ikaris are supposed to be former lovers who were together for 5,000 years, yet the movie never made me feel like that was the case. The plot sort of implies that there’s still chemistry between them, but it’s really gross to watch Ikaris’s advances since he and the audience know that Sersi is with someone new. The only love subplot that I really enjoyed was the secret gay romance. I thought that was handled respectfully and added a powerful element to the overall story. It also doesn’t seem forced. In fact, none of the diversity feels that way to me. The fact that this character is gay doesn’t feel like he’s gay to complete a checklist. It actually added credibility to his love for this world. The movie is at its strongest when the Eternals interact with one another. They have great chemistry together, no matter who you pair with. They’re the heart of this film and I’m glad that this aspect was handled well. The whole concept of Eternals, Celestials, and Deviants is an exciting direction to take the MCU. Still, this movie has major glaring issues that cannot be ignored. For starters, the plot is frustrating. There’s a twist in this film that seems to come out of nowhere. I have a personal pet peeve with movies and shows that pull this character archetype off. The concept got stale years ago and people still talk about it as if it’s something new. I’ve seen it in “Injustice”, “Red Son: Superman”, “The Boys”, “Invincible”, and even “Brightburn”. I’m pretty much spoiling the twist by naming all these movies and shows, which further proves that this concept is getting stale. There’s also a lot of exposition in this movie. It’s not like they had to do it since most of the scenes without exposition didn’t really have much going for it anyway. I feel like the runtime could’ve justified actually showing and not telling. The main villain could’ve definitely been more fleshed out. Instead, he’s some generic bad guy with a vague goal because of an unexplained past. The villain doesn’t even have a name. I felt like this movie could’ve done more with its two-and-a-half-hour runtime. It’s a good thing I didn’t feel the length of this movie. Otherwise, this movie could’ve gotten a way lower score.

★★★

Watched on November 12th, 2021

[miraculouscontent]

Are you gonna do an analysis or review of Chat Blanc? (Just curious please dont feel pressured to)

This could’ve just been a fun what-if episode that didn’t have anything to do with the main universe, but nooooooooooo.

[Counter Clockwise]

Let’s get the obvious out of way right here and now.

This is the second time we’ve seen Bunnyx this season, making this the second time that time travel has been involved, also in this season (not counting episodes where Second Chance is used).

This is also the second time we’ve had an episode with its events being scrubbed away by the main characters not knowing exactly what happened, similar to “Oblivio” (also in Season 3). It’s not the same plot-wise, but it carries the familiar tone of, “something was left behind in memory of the episode but it’s not anything good” (yes, we’ll get there).

For “Oblivio,” it was that freaking kiss that was spread around on the Ladyblog despite Ladybug being horrified by it and not remembering how it happened.

For “Chat Blanc” here, it was Ladybug’s estimate of how Chat knew her identity in the parallel universe.

And it’s not like this season hasn’t repeated things before. Although “Party Crasher” did introduce Roi Singe, the introduction was rushed and it was just an excuse to get mileage out of Viperion, Pegase, and Carapace one last time a big mess that didn’t need to exist. “The Puppeteer 2″ also had nothing to do with anything and retread the plot point from “Frozer” where Marinette re-learned that Adrien was already in love with someone while also repeating an akuma just like “Stormy Weather 2,” “Gamer 2.0,” “Reflekdoll,” and eventually “Felix” did.

It’s… not a good look, and that’s not even taking into account that this is also the second time that Adrien has presumed that Marinette is Ladybug, with the first example being “Kwamibuster” (technically “Weredad” too considering that’s another episode involving Marinette trying to protect her identity, but Chat didn’t actually have any presumptions there and Marinette just thought he did).

Speaking of “Kwamibuster,” actually, I do believe that “Chat Blanc” goes before “Kwamibuster” (despite production order, which I still view as invalid) because, like… why wouldn’t Plagg bring up that episode when Adrien is rambling since I simply do not believe that Adrien wouldn’t have told Plagg about Marinette being Multimouse and Ladybug being there next to her. I mean, I don’t think much of Adrien, but even I don’t think that Adrien would be dense/dumb enough to just forget that “Kwamibuster” happened.

“Chat Blanc” takes place late in the season because of the “intensity” of it and that’s about it. It doesn’t have any plot-relevant reasons to be put so close to the finale. Nothing important happens that stays important by the end of the episode, and Bunnyx just leaves in the end with no information known.

Even with the information that was in the parallel universe… well…

[All in Bad Time]

First off, not gonna lie; I feel legitimately bad for anyone who held out hope that Gabriel was redeemable.

I mean, it’s not like there’s nothing good in the parallel universe. For once, we got Tom actually taking charge and really defending Marinette. That was nice.

Outside of that though, it’s a bit of a wreck.

Since I already mentioned Gabriel, I might as well start with him. Now, I openly admit to being a very unforgiving person; there tends to be a certain threshold where I point at a character and note that there’s no going back for them and nothing they do will get me to like them or consider them worthy of redemption.

Now, already, I had passed that point in terms of Gabriel, but dang, this episode really goes all the way with making you hate this guy.

Like, after “Simon Says” with Gabriel hugging Adrien, “Queen Wasp” with him quitting and hugging Adrien (sensing a pattern of sorts), and then “Gorizilla” with Gabriel (as Hawk Moth) panicking over Adrien (that one was… weird, admittedly), and also “Mayura” with Hawk Moth telling Gorizilla to protect Adrien, one would think that Hawk Moth has - y'know - standards. We already knew that he didn’t have consistency, but we thought that he at least had standards.

Yeaaaah, not really.

For starters, we have Marinette here and, I gotta say, this is similar to the thing I said about Reflekdoll where it’s just… no fun to have a character with no real limits/preferences? Adrien is obviously going to be the big one here concerning Gabriel, but Marinette is a problem too.

Back in Seasons 1 and 2, Gabriel seemed to have a decent enough opinion of Marinette. He was impressed by her hat (and later goes to compliment her again in “Queen Wasp”), he preferred her to Chloe in “Frightningale,” and even in “The Collector,” he lets her off with no punishment whatsoever when she claims to have stolen Adrien’s book.

But then Season 3 drops, and Gabriel tries to akumatize Marinette multiple times, all with varying degrees of failure. He has no issue teaming up with Lila to go against Marinette, and there’s really no motive for it aside from his schtick of claiming that so-and-so will be his “masterpiece.”

Now, if “Queen Wasp” was before “The Collector,” then maybe I’d understand (because Gabriel would be set up to have a negative opinion of Marinette since she stole the grimoire), but it can’t be because “The Collector” was Gabriel’s reveal as Hawk Moth. It’d also make sense if Gabriel just wanted to akumatize Marinette because she’s alluded his akuma all this time (which has been a common fan joke anyway), but that’s not what’s happening.

And then there’s the fact that Gabriel’s plan to akumatize Marinette here is to have her break up with his son. I’d understand if there was an actual reason for them to break up - then Gabriel is really just capitalizing on an opportunity and would’ve demanded that she break up with him anyway - but there’s no in-plot reason given outside of Gabriel wanting to akumatize her.

Heck, it wouldn’t even be that hard. Adrien might just be shirking some of his responsibilities to date Marinette, or sneaking out to spend time with her/generally not being at home as often. Chat already has a reputation for forgetting about basically everything when he’s around the girl that he loves and the Adrienette ship seems constantly stuck in “honeymoon phase” while they’re dating, so I wouldn’t be surprised if Adrien is wholly out of it.

The problem in this episode is that we just don’t have enough information. Adrien tells us that he’s not going to tell Ladybug anything and then he goes to confess to Marinette, but that’s about all we’re given to chew on. Does Ladybug tell Chat that she’s dating? Does Chat say that he’s dating someone too and just compliments “his girlfriend” a bunch for whenever Ladybug eventually figures out his identity? Does Chat stay vague in case Ladybug falls for Chat too?

(By the way, just sayin’, I see no reason why Marinette shouldn’t have told Adrien about what Gabriel said and no reason why Adrien wouldn’t demand to know anyway; also, Adrien would’ve 100% impulsively ran away from home had Marinette told him what his father said to her. “I’m living my life as Chat Noir now, m’lady.” and then proceed to not care about his father at all. “Gamer 2.0″ already showed that Ladybug is just the most important thing to him and “Frozer” showed that he wanted to live on an island with just her, so yeah, episode resolved there, end of story, too big of a plothole to leave unanswered, please fill.)

Adrien learning Ladybug’s identity is a big deal yet it’s brushed off as nothing (because the big turning point instead is Gabriel learning that his son is Chat Noir). Honestly, had it just been a Ladrien episode instead (i.e: Adrien dating Ladybug instead of Marinette), very little would’ve changed about the actual plot and it would’ve actually made sense for Gabriel to want Ladybug to dump Adrien because Ladybug is his number one enemy (all of his attempts to get close enough to snatch her miraculous would be in vain) and an akumatized Ladybug would’ve been an actual masterpiece.

Point being, for Gabriel to do this when we have no information is bizarre, and doubly so considering the fact that Adrien is clearly happy dating Ladybug Marinette. Even if his plan is to akumatize Marinette and then just tell her to date Adrien again afterward, that’s not stated outright and also isn’t supported by the narrative considering that Gabriel is perfectly fine beating up his own son.

(I also see some potential bad press when reporters hear about the break-up and either demand questions or spread rumors.)

And I’m sorry (I’m not really sorry), but I do not understand Hawk Moth’s strategy here. Yes, Adrien being Chat Noir makes it easier to get his miraculous, but also, two things–

1 - Gabriel could’ve just taken Adrien’s ring in his sleep; yes, akumatizing him would help him get under Ladybug’s skin, but first, how does unlimited destruction get him the miraculous if Chat Blanc’s Cataclysm destroys the miraculous too (he’s been stupid before about this with stuff like Reflekta (Desperada and Party Crasher at least had insurance policies) but from an episode with so much hype riding on it, I expect Hawk Moth to use his brain a little), and second, Chat is Ladybug’s main partner. Ladybug is not defenseless without him, but he’s not completely useless to her either.

If Gabriel can just keep Adrien (who wouldn’t know who took his ring) locked away from Ladybug long enough to make another akuma, Ladybug will have no idea that her partner won’t show up and also won’t be able to go find the guardian to get more miraculouses once she realizes it, because Mayura and the akuma will certainly chase after her. She’ll be all on her own.

In addition, Gabriel can lure Adrien to the room with Emilie after taking his ring, then throw the exposition at him before offering his ring back if he agrees to help (still scummy, but not as irredeemable). That means that Ladybug won’t be around to tell Chat not to fall under Hawk Moth’s control whICH BY THE WAY–

Hawk Moth, in the actual episode, doesn’t even hold Ladybug back. What’s stopping Ladybug from getting the bell away from Chat or telling Chat to tear the bell off (if it worked for Chloe, it’ll work for Chat)? Even if touching an akumatized object gets Hawk Moth in Ladybug’s head too, she can either use her yoyo to break it (considering that her fist broke the bell in the episode itself) or just grab the bell anyway and smash it (because I don’t think Ladybug would fall under Hawk Moth’s control alongside Chat). I know we’ve never seen what happens if you break an object while the person is still pre-akumatized, and it made sense in “Zombizou” because she wasn’t Ladybug and couldn’t purify the akuma, but Ladybug shouldn’t be part of this equation and it adds too many questions. 

2 - Now, of course, I’m not experienced in villainy, but I’m pretty sure that the first rule of getting someone on one’s side is to not being a complete moron who beats them senseless first and then expects them to join.

I vaguely understand that Hawk Moth’s strategy was (probably) to just destroy Chat enough mentally so he’d be akumatizable whether or not Emilie was convincing on her own, but when he’s so sadistic about it, positively gleeful when he realizes that his son is Chat Noir, it seems less like a strategy and more like him not only favoring the wish over his own son, but also getting joy out of hitting Chat around as if he feels like Adrien wronged him by being Chat Noir and now Adrien needs to be punished (which would’ve been nice for him to say since Adrien already knows that he’s Hawk Moth by that point anyway).

I just have no idea what the intention was there. It felt like the episode wanted to have it both ways where Chat was conflicted enough to not reject the akuma, but also throw in the angst and “drama” of Hawk Moth hitting him around (after that opening where he acted as if he wanted Emilie to come back for both of them and not just him) because hey, Adrien’s life is sad, his mom is comatose and the fact that he’s about to kill everyone isn’t enough.

And then, as if that wasn’t already ridiculous enough, they have Chat Blanc be torn on who to shoot with his destructive powers. I understand that Hawk Moth is the one who akumatized him, but we’ve seen from Robostus that akumas CAN go against Hawk Moth. Yes, Hawk Moth is his father, but he’s now a physically abusive father (who is constantly “too busy” for him and tried to keep him from being happy which, again, we don’t know if Adrien knows but I don’t see why Marinette wouldn’t tell him; it would hurt Adrien, sure, but he should still know that his father is trying to sabotage them anyway. The episode cuts straight to Hawk Moth going against Ladybug and Chat Noir, but did Hawk Moth literally come up with this plan on the spot, because Marinette had more than enough time to tell Adrien otherwise!) and the love of his life.

Tough choices, I guess.

And then Chat Blanc just ends up killing everyone anyway, so it doesn’t even matter. He could’ve ultimately chosen Hawk Moth to fire at, but his destructive powers were so strong that he couldn’t control it (which would’ve been better once non-parallel Ladybug fights him, showing that he at least trained because he doesn’t want to destroy anything outside of his target).

It reads like a plot that’s being angst-y just to be angst-y (this episode will get no “edgy points” from me when it doesn’t know how to use that angst properly), and it’s not at all necessary.

Hawk Moth knocks Adrien out of the mansion because non-parallel Ladybug needed to find the Cataclysm’d version of her parallel self (which, by the way, how has Chat not found that already/tried to touch it himself, meaning it’d be already gone?) to make the audience wonder about what exactly happened, since non-parallel Ladybug stumbling upon this room with Hawk Moth, herself, and Emilie freaking Agreste would’ve actually been interesting and given the episode some semblance of value where Marinette either re-considers Gabriel to be Hawk Moth or just generally wonders if Hawk Moth himself took Emilie away for some reason (and later finding out that the peacock is damaged and realize that oh, if that happened to Emilie, then the person who has the butterfly is–).

Chat Blanc is crazy because angst, he’s losing his mind after being alone for an undisclosed amount of time. Bunnyx just leaves Ladybug there with no information (oh, and a comment about needing to jump back in time in case she fails because no one has faith in Marinette - we’ll get there - or Ladybug apparently) and an insane Chat Noir who wants her miraculous despite knowing that Miraculous Ladybug already fixes everything once the akuma is dealt with, meaning he can then worry about his comatose mother and the wish (y’know, the wish that Ladybug told him wouldn’t work as he wants right before she died, not that I expect him to listen to her anymore), but no, he’s insane because that’s boring and ensures that he doesn’t think about the obvious solution or the fact that another Ladybug probably isn’t going to come back if he kills this one too.

Like, just saying; if it’s the akuma making his personality that way where he wants the miraculouses that badly (which is dumb since he’s already seen that his destructive powers destroy the miraculous too, yet he’s still mindlessly trying to kill Ladybug because drama), then my question is how his love for Ladybug doesn’t override that when he already killed her and thought there was no coming back until this other Ladybug showed up (and also the fact that her kiss was the thing that distracted him long enough for her to snatch the bell, so her love worked eventually anyway but come on). Either he’s crazy because of the akuma or he’s crazy because of being alone, and neither are all that interesting because, again, the akuma being purified can still get the result he wants. Threatening to kill Ladybug if she doesn’t hand over the miraculouses won’t solve anything and his chances are better when he’s not akumatized.

And here’s the thing: I’m honestly in favor of episodes that explore the what-ifs, but not in this way; not with Bunnyx and time travel and needing to “save the future” or whatever. If it has to involve this “Bad End” scenario where there’s no other way out except for another Ladybug to swoop in and save the day, then that’s fine, but it has to roll with the needed care and limitations that come with that and also forward the plot and make it matter if everything else is just going to be scrubbed away in the end. I mean, the lesson “hey, Marinette, don’t let Adrien know your identity” (yes, we’ll talk about the “real” lesson later) is bafflingly pointless being taught to someone who already took secret identities very seriously and literally had an episode in the same season that showed the leaps and bounds she took to protect that identity.

Oh, and speaking of Adrien knowing her identity–

[Identity Politics]

Uggggggggggggggggggh, Adrien, why does it always seem to come to you.

So now we’re at the big start of all this chaos: Adrien determining that Marinette is Ladybug and then proceeding to go after her romantically.

I should preface this by saying that, no, I don’t wholly blame Adrien for wanting to pursue Marinette romantically. He’s a teenager and I legitimately believe that he thinks that he loves Marinette now and has always loved her and blah blah blah whatever. Adrien sometimes has this habit of rationalizing out his own thoughts with himself to make them seem more reasonable, and I imagine that’s what’s happening here.

…What I do blame him for, however, is not telling Marinette that he knows her identity and casually shrugging the notion off as if everything’s going to be okay. I mean, we all knew that Chat had always wanted to do an identity reveal (basically from all the way back in “Lady Wifi”), but we didn’t know that Chat would just not tell Ladybug if he found out without her knowledge. It’d be one thing if Adrien felt guilty about it (i.e: not wanting her to potentially get in trouble and wanting to stay as Chat because that’s his freedom), but instead, he just mentions it to Plagg once and it’s never heard from again until he’s forced to transform in front of Marinette.

Because we don’t see how Ladybug and Chat’s relationship is changed, we as an audience have no idea if Adrien even regrets that decision at all. Even after Chat uses Cataclysm on the butterfly, he doesn’t apologize at all even though this mess could’ve been prevented had Marinette been able to tell him about what Gabriel was doing by transforming into Ladybug and explaining it to him while he’s Chat.

There’s also the fact that Adrien comes to this “Marinette = Ladybug” conclusion basically out of nowhere. Ladybug may’ve delivered the gift to him and it has Marinette’s name signed onto it (which Plagg even suggests himself as a perfectly reasonable argument), but Adrien has no proof that Ladybug signed it herself (could’ve been fixed if Adrien had something with Ladybug’s signature on it and noted that the style was the same), and the on-screen examples we’re given (”Evillustrator,” “Frightningale,” and “Glaciator”) don’t show that Ladybug had any feelings for Adrien specifically; the latter just showed that she had feelings for a boy.

Adrien isn’t even coming to this conclusion because he saw Marinette running away with the gift earlier (i.e: to transform) since he doesn’t remember seeing her later in the episode when Ladybug lies and says that she’s delivering it for someone else. He didn’t even point out that it was odd that Marinette had the gift in the first place, meaning that scene was entirely pointless.

It’s not that Adrien blindly hoping for things isn’t part of his character (he’s been hoping for Ladybug’s love from the beginning), but to suddenly go off on this without a thought while Plagg is reminding him what the risk is here…. s’dumb. Plagg is clearly concerned about it but decides not to go to Fu and just let Adrien do whatever he wants despite the gamble Adrien’s taking.

I also don’t know whose idea it was to think it’s okay to have production codes dictate episode order when “Kwamibuster” is before “Chat Blanc.” “Kwamibuster” is such an easy thing for Plagg to bring up here and it’s not even mentioned. 

And while we’re on the subject anyway, I might as well point out that Adrien isn’t just going after Marinette because she’s Ladybug. No, that’s not enough for him, because we saw in “Kwamibuster” that Adrien had basically no reaction to the scenario of Marinette being Ladybug.

The difference here is that Marinette’s gift is covered in hearts - a declaration of love - and that’s when Adrien makes the big jump.

It’s not, “Wow, my lady is Marinette and that’s awesome because they’re both amazing girls and I love them both,” it’s, “WOW, my lady is in love with me (and she’s Marinette too, I guess), I better jump on that.”

(Because Adrien coming up with similar traits they have that makes them the same would’ve been actually sweet instead of him conjuring up a fantasy just because it’s convenient for him.)

Ladybug being Marinette was irrelevant; it was Ladybug (who happened to be Marinette) being in love with Adrien that gave Adrien the encouragement he needed to pursue Marinette.

It’s even technically supported by the fact that Adrien doesn’t go to Fu. If Adrien realizes that Marinette is Ladybug, then that’s it; he doesn’t need her to be Ladybug anymore, and it’s not like he can date her as Chat anyway. Adrien might still want to be Chat Noir, but since the episode focuses so heavily on the Adrienette stuff, I literally don’t know why he’s bothering risking this stuff. Ladybug has even expressed distaste before concerning balancing her hero life, so maybe he’d think she’d want to be away from it (not that I would expect Adrien to remember that but stick with me here).

This is also supported by episodes like “The Puppeteer 2″ and “Ladybug,” where Chat is quick to flip as soon as Ladybug goes in for a kiss or confesses her love to him.

He doesn’t want Ladybug; he wants Ladybug’s love.

And as for how that affects Marinette herself…

[Marifret]

You know…

YOU KNOW–

Every time I think that this season is out of ideas for tormenting Marinette, it just comes up with another. It starts to feel like the writers just have assorted “how to torment Marinette” ideas that they have stored in a little box at the office that they’re constantly plucking out and then dumping into random episodes whenever they feel like it.

Marinette is the only one who gets anything out of this episode because she’s the only one who remembers the important stuff from it, and it’s not even anything good.

Not only did Marinette not need to concern herself with learning more about how important it is to keep her identity a secret, but the Lucky Charm gave her an eraser, explicitly to erase her name on the gift.

Because Ladybug didn’t need to erase her name. She could’ve either gone back further in time and not let her other self get wrapped up in exploring Adrien’s room (the Lucky Charm could’ve been lipstick to hint to Ladybug that she should distract Chat with an almost-kiss to get his akuma, and then Ladybug could’ve still gone through similar motions to realize that Adrien saw her past self leaving his room), or simply told Adrien that Marinette couldn’t get past Nathalie, so she was asked to deliver it instead.

But no. Instead, Lucky Charm explicitly gives her an eraser as if to say, “this is all your fault and erasing your name off your gift will fix everything.”

Even Bunnyx, in the midst of watching the flashbacks, asks, “What did you do, Marinette?!” which just immediately sets up the entire narrative as being Marinette’s fault.

Not Adrien’s fault because he kept everything a secret and presumed that Ladybug was Marinette despite having no visual proof of that.

Not Plagg’s fault for not going to Fu about it.

Not Hawk Moth’s fault for beating up his son and trying to akumatize him.

It’s all on Marinette. All of it.

All because she wanted to confess to a boy that she liked and lingered a little too long in his room.

So all the hard work Marinette put into the hat she made for Adrien doesn’t even matter, just like the scarf she made all the way back in “Bubbler.” It’s just another wasted effort on Marinette’s part.

Even in the parallel universe, she doesn’t get any time to process her thoughts. After Adrien confesses, the next scene with the parallel-Adrienette is the montage, with Marinette being completely unaware that Adrien confessed to her because she was Ladybug.

On an unrelated note since I’m talking about the montage anyway, this episode gives Kagami the dignity of a simple name drop only to then put Luka right in the background as Adrien and Marinette slow dance together. Like, writers, COME ON, show him some actual RESPECT.

There’s also the fact that Chat “I’d recognize my lady in an instant except for all those times I didn’t” Noir has already rejected Marinette in “Weredad,” and I mean firmly rejected, with no doubt as to how little he feels towards Marinette and how much he feels towards Ladybug. We’ve had the “just a friend” gag for three whole seasons now and then “Chat Blanc” comes along to have Marinette believe that Adrien is in love with her.

And when Chat reveals that he already knew she was Ladybug, again, no contemplation on Marinette’s part. She gets seconds to think about it before just collapsing into Chat’s arms because the episode gives her no time because that’s not important to the episode itself. Marinette (presumably) doesn’t even get to know that Adrien only wanted to confess to her upon realizing that she’s Ladybug.

Then we have this repeated problem where we don’t know the time frame. Did Marinette want to go to Fu? Did Chat convince her not to, and if so, why? What’s Tikki’s view in all of this and how was she convinced to let the subject go? Did Hawk Moth show up almost immediately, so Marinette’s only had time to leave and transform for what she thought could be the final battle, meaning that it wouldn’t be necessary to go to Fu?

We have no idea. The only things the episode makes time for concerning Marinette/Ladybug (in addition to a dumb joke about birthday presents that were definitely not crucial to the plot) are her being excited to be in Adrien’s room, her looking like a fool in front of Adrien as she lies, Chat Blanc yelling at her about how tHEiR loVe caused everyone in Paris to die, and her getting berated after feeling self-conscious for not delivering Adren’s gift.

Oh, and just BY THE WAY, going back to the beginning of the episode since I brought it up, can we just not with Marinette’s friends PLACING BETS on whether or not Marinette is going to confess to Adrien? Can we just not with them making a game out of Marinette’s anxiety and self-esteem issues concerning whether or not Adrien will love her?

It’s already bad enough that we get jokes and gags about the universe itself being against her, but now with have this.

This… horrible, horrible thing.

Oh, and of course, the moment where we see Rose finally go off on someone, looking absolutely enraged while doing so, it’s Marinette she’s going off at and almost physically hurting when she nearly slammed the lid of the basket down on Marinette’s wrist.

Not because Marinette self-deprecated and Rose is actually just “angrily” shouting about how amazing she is and how Adrien would be a fool to reject her feelings.

Not because Rose has been given some “tough love” advice beforehand and thinks that it’ll be best for Marinette, only to feel really bad about it afterward even if it worked.

No, it’s because… Rose lost her favorite stuffed animal in the bet and she’s mad about it. That’s it. She’s taking it out on Marinette for something she did.

And no, I don’t believe for one second that the stuffed animal had nothing to do with it; it had everything to do with it. I mean, come on, the fact that the day Rose went off just happened to be the day she lost her stuffed animal in a bet?

I totally acknowledge that it’s probably yet another joke berating Marinette for the hesitance that she apparently has to have, but one, it’s a waste of time that could’ve been spent elsewhere, and two, maybe the episode shouldn’t be fitting in its jokes and gags in something that’s supposed to be taken seriously. It’s not “Party Crasher” levels of tone whiplash but it’s still annoying to see Paris destroyed and then have Chat Blanc follow up with a Kamehameha Cataclysm.

And this is even ignoring the fact that Alix is extremely smug about it and happily takes Rose’s favorite stuffed animal, not at all ashamed that she was so confidently doubtful of someone who’s supposed to be her friend as long as she was right in the end.

Also doubly ignoring the fact that Marinette’s friends have had a history of behaving terribly concerning Marinette’s crush on Adrien (of which I have repeatedly documented) and they never once think for a second that it might be their fault that Marinette is not progressing at all, instead putting all the blame on her.

Oh, oh, and by the end of the episode (you know, since the writers sat down at their desks and thought to themselves, “this isn’t enough”), because Marinette was forced to erase her name from the gift, she doesn’t get the satisfaction of going up to her friends to at least say that she actually gave it to Adrien. She had to make up an excuse, inevitably damaging their view of her further.

It’s just… sad. Marinette goes through a ton in this episode from being nevous about confessing to the boy she likes, being yelled at by one of her friends, being thrown into a future with an insane Chat Noir who wants to kill her and take her miraculous, and then being told by her own Lucky Charm that the way to fix everything is to erase her name off her own work because Chat is going to get akumatized and everyone (including her) are going to die if she doesn’t.

And, on top of all of that, Tikki still has to sneak in a line that scolds Marinette for using her miraculous for personal gain, despite the fact that Marinette is literally just delivering a gift to someone. We’re back to this “Catalyst” nonsense once more because Marinette is never allowed to be selfish.

Implying that, again, all of this is Marinette’s fault because she wanted to use her miraculous for a couple minutes for something non-hero related.

You know, the power that she uses to protect all of Paris, that was thrust upon her and she certainly never asked for.

The power that she has repeatedly used with a perfect record, even when her partner was taken down.

The power that forces the weight of Paris on her shoulders and the knowledge that, if she fails, Hawk Moth wins and it’s over.

Yet, she’s never allowed to use it for herself or everyone dies apparently.

This is despite the fact that, when it was Adrien’s turn to use his power selfishly to set up a date for Ladybug, he not only got an apology from Ladybug for it, but he got double sympathy from Ladybug and Marinette, even getting Ladybug to blush by the end of it.

Oh, and he gets rewarded at the end of “Chat Blanc” too as Ladybug lays her head on his shoulder, despite his impulsiveness being partly/mostly the cause of everything.

Because that’s totally fair.

…This episode is a wreck. The entire thing is just a complete and total wreck.

Just another thing to add onto the list of reasons for Marinette to have a realistic and inevitable nervous breakdown, I guess.

*sigh*

[intelligentdumbass]

(Okay I am lost, I’ve been struggling with how to write this thing, but at least this feels somewhat cohesive? Also that at least there’s an actual Herm and Per interaction now. I dunno when I’m gonna come back to this and try to continue but here it is for now)

-----------------------

Being a bastard child of the king of the gods always resulted in something going wrong in your life. His kids always managed to get themselves into trouble one way or another, perhaps a mix of unfortunate circumstances and some traits they inherited from their father. That’s why Zeus often kept a close eye on them, even if Hera didn’t seem to be meddling with anything, and he was far from the only one to give them a helping hand.

This time, Apollo was one of the first to hear of it as, while said event was happening, he still had his thoughts interlaced with those of his father’s.

“Okay here’s the thing.” The blonde was doing what he always did in times like these, gossiping with two of his favorite half-siblings.  “I was about to abort, but before I even managed to disconnect, it was already over?? He just descended in a golden shower and then poof! He was gone! He didn’t shapeshift into a human form or anything.”

Hermes raised an eyebrow. “But she still got pregnant?”

“She still got pregnant! I have no idea how-” “how do you even get plea-”

Athena quickly interrupted. “Says the one that had an incident with the Thriae-”

The messenger frowned. “Please don’t remind me-”

Apollo snickered. “Buzz buzz-”

“Moving on, who was it this time? You still haven’t mentioned a name.”

“I-” “Uh… I forgot?”

“You, the god of memory, forgot??”

“I suppose it hadn’t properly registered in my head? I was actually kind of… distracted by something else when that happened.”

“And by something, you mean someone?”

The archer faintly flushed. “That’s a little assumptive.”

“And based on your reaction, I assume it was probably true.”

“To be fair,” The goddess interjected. “You aren’t any better.”

“I’m not talking about being horny. Actually, it could apply to you too Pal!”

“Excuse me?”

“Even if it’s just platonically, you both tend to get really infatuated with certain mortals. Hell, half of the arguments between you two are just” He starts mimicking their voices. “‘Hah! Did you see that? What a cunning lil shit!’ and then the other going ‘Well clearly you haven’t seen what insert other mortal did!’ It’s either that or about whose patron city is the best.”

The goddess rolled her eyes. “You exaggerate.”

Apollo thought about it. “Ehhhhhh...”

“Aw, no need to be shy! I, for one, think it’s sort of endearing!” But then Hermes noticed his brother was… grinning. “What’s with that look?”

“Oh, nothing I can’t confirm. You know how vague my prophecy powers are.”

…

“So that’s him, huh?” Hermes asked, atop one of Olympus’ many balconies, gazing down into the earth. Athena nodded, standing beside him.

It had been several years since that little conversation with his half-siblings.

The messenger narrowed his eyes. “I guess he is cute.”

His sister sighed, causing the god to laugh.

When they jumped off the ledge, their landing nearly gave poor Perseus a heart attack. He hastily tried to give them the impression that he totally had his shit together. You know, formally greeting them like he was not at all resisting the urge to stare.

It fooled no one. Though, the god thought it was adorable how respectful the demigod tried to be with those tiny glances.  

Athena internally groaned. She was starting to have flashbacks to some of the other errands of helping mortals not die, specifically the ones with Apollo.

“Look, you two can kiss later.” Her voice was stern, an attempt to tell Hermes to keep it professional. “First, let’s get this fetch quest over with.”

“Of course.” He had more than enough trust in his natural looks; still, he spared no pains to smooth his hair and fix his robes. “You see Perseus; you might have to resort to some rather sneaky and underhanded tactics if you want to survive.”

“My lord, I don’t even know where Medusa is.”

“And that’s where we come in!” He wraps an arm around the mortal’s shoulders.

“But,” Athena added. “We’re only here to help, not hold your hand and do it for you.”

Before the two immortals started their exposition dump, however, Perseus felt the need to point something out. There was a slight fear that the god might throw him into the ocean, but he was being fairly casual with him so… fuck it.

“You know, you’re a lot more… breathtaking than I thought you’d be.”

“Aw, that’s-”

“And also a lot shorter than I imagined you to be.”

It was then that Athena realized, now that the two men were standing side by side, Perseus was decently tall for a human. He’s not nearly as tall as her, yet still tall enough for Hermes to be around a few centimeters shorter than him.

“What’s with that look? If anything, I think it makes you look even cuter!” The mortal patted the god’s head.

“Hahah… you’re lucky you’re even cuter, and that father wants you back alive.” Hermes smiled, accompanied by one of his least effective death glares, on account of the mild blush. The wings on his head shrunk, fluttering.

Meanwhile Perseus was absolutely beaming, not far from the famous shit-eating grin of the messenger himself. The god would’ve punched it off his face if it weren’t for the fact that he might accidentally break something.

Hermes cleared his throat. “ANYWAY, let’s get back on topic, shall we?”

Athena suppressed the urge of continuing to taunt him. “Yes, the sooner the better; preferably before Hera notices anything.”

“Hera?” The demigod’s smile twitched.

The messenger forced a laugh. “It’s best if you don’t think about it. Don’t worry; Apollo and Persephone are top tier distractions and conversation starters.”

Concept wise, the plan was simple enough.

The execution, on the other hand…

“Oh shi-” “You okay?!” Hermes rushed over to the mortal that accidentally flung himself against a tree, falling back-first onto the ground.

Athena winced. “Maybe lending a spare pair of your sandals isn’t-”

“I’m fine!” Perseus sat up, looking determined. “I swear I just need a few more tries to get used to it!”

“Preferably before you end up cracking a few ribs.” The god nervously chucked, flicking some dirt off the demigod’s face. “Let’s try again, slowly.”

He helped him up, a firm grasp on both of Perseus’ hands to prevent him from running himself into the ground.

Surprisingly, the mortal managed to hover some inches over the ground, the messenger matching his pace. Alas, he got too enthusiastic during his small victory and the wings suddenly flew upwards, causing him to panic. Fortunately, Hermes never lost his grip and got dragged up along with him. By the time they got back down, the demigod may or may not have been hugging the god for dear life.

“You okay there bud?” The messenger giggled.

“That… was amazing!” Perseus laughed, delightedly terrified. “Though uh, don’t you think it’d be much more convenient if you just carried me there?”

“What are you, nine?”

Athena snickered. “Unless that’s what you want the poets to sing about?”

“Why not?” Perseus grinned. “I mean, getting personally carried by one of the Olympians? What an honor! Everyone else would be so jealous.”

You see, the word ‘amused’ might’ve not been sufficient enough to describe Hermes’ feelings about the demigod’s boldness, and his half-sister was well aware of this. Even from the god’s voice alone, she could literally hear him smiling. It was the sort of behavior that wasn’t too far off from how he’d act around Apollo or Persephone.

It was this thought that gave her an idea on how to avoid Hera’s wrath.

“Hermes, just keep on practicing with him.” Athena said, starting to walk away. “I’m going to get some of the other items Perseus needs.”

And with that, she was gone.

Her plan involved giving them a lot of time alone.

[wonderfulworldofmichaelford]

Michael in the Mainstream: Artemis Fowl

Since the early 2000s, Artemis Fowl has been languishing in development hell, and it really is a mystery as to why. The series has everything you could possibly want for a blockbuster young adult franchise: it’s a charming blend of science and fantasy with rich worldbuilding and mythology, it has enjoyable and even complex characters who go through great character arcs over the course of the series, it has an enjoyable major antagonist, an insufferable smug villain protagonist who goes through a stellar redemption arc over the course of the series, and tons of crazy heists that combine scheming and fairy magic. There was no reason this couldn’t have existed as a competitor to the Harry Potter series, but alas, it was not to be. The young adult fantasy franchise languished for decades in development hell, until finally Disney pulled it out and put Kenneth Branagh at the helm. Finally, we were going to get the Artemis Fowl adaptation we deserved!

Except we didn’t.

Artemis Fowl is legitimately one of the worst adaptations of any work of fiction ever. It has been held up alongside The Last Airbender and The Lightning Thief as part of the Unholy Trinity of terrible adaptations, and I’m not even going to try and pretend that this “Honor” isn’t well and truly earned. This film is an utterly abominable bastardization of the beloved franchise, to the point where this feels like an entirely different story that had familiar names slapped on it at the last second. If you want to know what horrific extents this film has butchered the story and characters, read onward, but there’s no way I’m going to pretend this film isn’t awful right off the bat.

There is literally nothing in this film that works. Nothing at all. Starting from the opening scene, the establishing shots, you can tell things are wrong – there are news people around Fowl Manor? Mulch is being interrogated? What is going on? The film from the word go is simply making one thing absolutely and abundantly clear: this is not the Artemis Fowl you know. The film goes out of its way to do the opposite of the franchise, merely using names and vague concepts in an attempt to sucker fans into watching it. Butler’s first name, an emotional reveal from the third book, is common knowledge; Opal Koboi, a cunning and threatening major villain who was the antagonist for almost every novel starting with the second, is here reduced to basically a personification of the voice on the phone from Scream; Root, once a short-tempered man who was hard on Holly as a method of tough love to push her to be the very best LEP had to offer to prove women belonged on the force, is here a woman who, while just as angry as ever, robs Holly of a major part of her arc and reduces her to plucky female sidekick. And even outside of that, as its own thing, the movie is just utterly incomprehensible. The story is rushed and confusing, with lots of exposition and action but with no context or cohesion. Things happen and things go from scene to scene, but none of it makes any sort of sense. A character will switch allegiances within a few minutes, characters will somehow find a way to survive deadly attacks offscreen… the worst offender is a character death they try to push off as emotional, despite there being no reason to care for this character, and when all hope seems lost, a deus ex machina saves the day! My wife, who is unfamiliar with the series, and I, a huge fan, both struggled to figure out what was going on at any given point; the movie is really that bad at communicating what is happening, which is even more baffling because the film is a pathetic hour and a half in length, a distressingly short amount of time to establish a new science-fantasy franchise of this scale.

The characters are almost all terrible. Artemis is the standout with how awful he is; no longer the cunning criminal masterminds of the book, Artemis here is more of a somewhat smug little brat who is overly emotional and, worst of all, NICE. He’s so nice in fact that by the end of the film he has managed to speedrun his character development and arcs with Mulch and Holly, who consider him their close friend and ally. Butler is pretty bad here as well, mostly because he is given almost nothing to do and is seemingly only there because he was in the book. In fact, his crowning moment – when he took on the troll – is instead given to Artemis and even Holly, with Butler ending up severely injured. It’s a bit nasty that they changed Butler to be black and then had his (white) master steal his greatest moment; it’s giving me flashbacks to Kazaam. Opal is hit pretty bad as well; being made the big bad of this loose adaptation of the first book’s plot – which is amusingly one of the few books she had absolutely no role in – wouldn’t be so rough if she was more of a presence and not just some vague, hooded figure who threatens Artemis over the phone and generally does nothing to warrant being an adaptation of the baddest bitch in the series. She’s rather ineffectual and they even try and give her a sort of sympathetic motivation, one where she resents humans for pushing her kind underground. It really is a disgusting waste of a character who could easily rival heavy hitters like Voldemort in the awesome and theatrically evil department.

Holly is almost okay, but her entire arc and a big chunk of her narrative purpose is robbed by making Commander Root a woman. Root, played by Judi Dench, is honestly one of the better characters since Dench has Root dropping lines like “Top o’ the morning to ya” with gravelly deadpan seriousness which makes the character unintentionally hilarious, but the cheap laughs don’t really make up for butchering the story of one of fiction’s finest ladies. As a side note, they have made Holly 100% white despite her skin being described as nut brown rather frequently in the book, and the now white Holly together with Artemis steal away Butler’s biggest moment. And that’s not even getting into how they neutered Juliet, who has also been race lifted but was turned into a child who barely appeared in the film. I’m not usually one to toss about racism accusations, but there’s a lot of red flags here that Branagh’s usual colorblind casting just doesn’t excuse.

The most consistently enjoyable performance is Josh Gad’s as Mulch. From the moment he was cast, I knew he’d do a good job and capture the spirit of the character, and he does! ...sort of. The decision to have Mulch be a giant dwarf and narrate the story in a crappy Batman impression while also violating literally the most important law of fairy culture (don’t tell the humans anything about us) by spilling the beans to M16 is unbearably stupid, and a lot of his jokes are just relentlessly unfunny. But I think that Gad does leak a bit of that Mulch charm at a few points, and it’s apparent he at least somewhat gets his character, which is not something that can be said for anyone else in this film. Sadly, much like his standout performance as Lefou in the live action Beauty and the Beast, he can’t possibly save the trainwreck of a film he’s in.

I guess I’m not entirely surprised by this film. I mean, a lot of quality young adult literature from the past two decades has been horrifically mangled in the wake of Harry Potter – Inkheart, The Golden Compass, The Lightning Thief, Ender’s Game, and Eragon – so this movie really isn’t an anomaly. But it is the culmination of a horrible trend. This is the zenith of horrible young adult adaptations, or perhaps I should say the nadir of adaptations as a whole? For all the flak I could give those other adaptations, on some fundamental level they still understood something about the source material. Ender’s Game still understood it could not erase the ending where children are revealed to be being conscripted to perform the ethnic cleansing of an alien race. Eragon couldn’t completely ruin Saphira, try as it might. The Lightning Thief… well, I mean, I guess the Medusa scene was mostly faithful. But Artemis Fowl? Artemis Fowl goes out of its way to be the opposite of its literary counterpart that there is no way to justify even saying it is based on the book by Eoin Colfer; it would be like having a movie about kids hanging out at the mall and doing mundane stuff, except they’re all named Jesus and Peter and Paul and then saying it’s based on the Bible. Just using names doesn’t mean anything, you actually have to use the themes and characterizations too, and this movie does none of that.

This movie is most comparable to The Emoji Movie. Neither of these works really deserve to be called a “Film” since they are basically whatever it is they’re trying so desperately to be stripped down to the bare essentials. The Emoji Movie is the most basic, by-the-numbers animated adventure film with a “be yourself” message you could ever hope to see, with a story so absolutely basic that just watching the trailer will allow you to predict the every motion of the plot. Artemis Fowl on the other hand is the most cliche-ridden fantasy epic franchise-starter you could imagine, and that’s if you’re able to penetrate the ridiculously dense and cluttered story and are able to make sense of what’s going on. I can think of absolutely no one this film could ever appeal to. There’s not a single redeeming thing about it. The movie is flashy, trashy junk that should never have been released, and Disney honestly did the right thing by releasing this on their streaming service because it would be outright disgusting to charge movie ticket prices for this tripe. The fact Disney has more faith in the eternally-delayed New Mutants theatrically speaks volumes about the quality of this film.

I can’t in good conscious say that this is the worst film of all time. F4ntastic is probably a much worse butchering of characters than this film; Disaster Movie is much more horrendously offensive and unfunny than this; hell, Chicken Little is probably a worse Disney movie because as awful as everyone in this film is, at least they aren’t Buck Cluck! But I don’t think there’s a single movie I hate more than this one. Lucy can finally move over and sleep easy knowing that the fact it’s not based on a pre-existing work has finally saved it from the #1 spot on my worst list; Artemis Fowl is now the reigning champ. Kenneth Branagh should be ashamed of himself for making and releasing this (and doubly ashamed for having the gall to unironically compare his slaughtering of Artemis Fowl’s character to Michael Corleone), Disney should be shamed for putting more money into this film than they did into BLM charities, and I hope that Eoin Colfer finds whatever he was paid worth it to see his greatest creation butchered and disrespected like this.

[vermanaward]

keynote... notes

sharlayan  YEAH LETS GO BOIS gonna fistfight alphi and ali’s dad they’re my wol’s kids now

urianger: ‘the shit is hitting the fan despite us stopping the shit hitting the fan’ yes...? how is he going to lie to us this expansion i wonder

raha ‘hm, the star still has secrets’ ...yes? is your allagan arrogance getting the better of you again? silly kitty.

everyone looks very young in this trailer. i dig the skin rendering though. i love the way elezen ears look.

i have. so many questions and concerns about the fact that fandaniel and zenos seem to be on a fucking void ark.

i dig yoshi-p’s cosplay. presumably either artefact or starter gear for reaper man

[botanist jokes intensify]

sumo wrestler would be an amazing class though. sumo tank. yoshi plx

the job skill vid reminds me of gw2′s reaper though. which honestly? i only played in wvw, so i have no onions on that. pve i was a minion ho

i’m just going to be. a vaguely salty drk who is sad they can’t run around with frayesteem out all the time. if they ever let me take a retainer as a companion in the overworld instead of a chocobo then all bets are off, it’s perma grumpy girlfrien tiem

jdghkljsdafg literally void magic im screaming

my wol will do a lot of questionable things for power but she draws the line at voidsent not that this will stop me levelling it but

something something so when are we fixing the thirteenth

sharlayan is pretty. and it’ll be nice to see a sharlayan area which is like. currently inhabited by things other than voidsent. (new sharlayan, eureka, etc...) (don’t really count idyllshire since it’s been cleared out by the goblins, now, but...)

...estinien has a dragon bf ♥

yoshi p let me fistfight papa leveilleur. do it for the twins. do it. do it.

labyrinthos is a biodome on the moon. calling it now

i’m assuming the sleipnir looking mount is a pre order bonus no it’s a ce bonus. eh.

thavnair looks gorgeous

garlemald really is getting the ziost treatment huh

if this ends with zenos trying to huff the aether of everything alive within it in order to become as a god then uh. please do not do that

mare lamentorum - the sea of lamentation. from the aetheryte, music, etc, it seems to be a capital-a Ancient site. probably an exposition deposit.

!!!! the magus sisters ♥♥♥

cute bun tribe

the only belt i care about is the speed belt. and i don’t care about the speed belt.

sdv14 is not coming until the 6.x patch series which. i’m sad about but eh, it’s kind of. filler content i guess, so

wait. wait. cross data centre duty finder??? not sure if want

BUN PLUSH.

just sell me the bun plush

oh Lord a wind up porom

the menphina earring is pretty

lul my server’s NN melted the fuck down at 23rd of november. twitch chat was just making ‘a long fall’ jokes

i have. Concerns that koji described the art as being of the scions, and it... has zenos on it...?

shit yes bun boys

they look super pretty ♥

bummed there’s no f!hrothgar (yet). (ofc what i really want is a buff au ra lady without mods. but it’s not a post from me if i’m not complaining)

oceania datacentres is great news for both the health of the game and for oceanic players

[dragonwarriorgal]

Fate: Winx Saga episode 2. No Strangers Here

Ah, more exposition fever

ah, this monster that i can't see is very scary in this supposed daylight lighting

I think that I will go this entire SIX episode season (thank god) not ever seeing what a Burned One (the monster) looks like...

Oh, right, I completely forgot that Bloom gave up on the school ON THE FIRST DAY!!!

"How are you feeling?" GAH, A NORMAL CONVERSATION STARTER

"well suck it up!" scratch that, the show doesn't want any good writing between teenagers

Wow, for being the friendliest of the bunch (it is a low standard considering this group), Terra sure is being rude to Musa.

Oh. MY GOD. I hate their interactions

"No one says anything to anyone" Teen tv drama in a nutshell.

Ah, evil villain of the series. I didn't recognize you without the braids for a minute.

Beatrix is her name apparently... not THAT I HEARD IT IN THE VERY FIRST EPISODE (or forgot about it, same thing really)

Wow, could she BE ANYMORE SUSPICIOUS? Next thing she says will propably be "Can I feed the Burned One you have currently locked in a shed in the woods behind a powerful barrier where only you have the key headmistress?" *blinks innocently*

Ah, yes brown nosing, that was what she was doing...

pop song number 1 (4 if you count the first episode)

Is Beatrix SERIOUSLY MAKING AN EVIL FACE while showcasing her power TO THE WHOLE CLASS?!?!?!?

I really want Bloom to actually have more control in her power in this scene. It only showcases how STUPID IT WAS THAT SHE WENT ON HER OWN ON THE OPENING DAY TOWARDS DANGER TO PRACTICE HER POWERS. And then giving up on the school.

"Focus on clear, positive feelings" *the entire class gossiping about her control of her powers*

Yes, focus on your parents and how they took away YOUR DOOR to FORCE YOU TO BE "MORE OPEN"

It is surreal to me, when the show becomes self aware of how stupid this plot can be. "why didn't you tell me about my parents headmistress? Instead I get to hear it from my roommates!"

"Eventually the answers will come" in a form of exposition monologue probably in the next 1 or 2 episode

Cryptic and vague?

Show: all this talk about feelings and learning more about your powers is getting boring... LET'S HAVE AN ACTION SEQUENCE WITH HOMOEROTIC UNDERTONES!!!!

"could you be 50% less of a dick" My motto watching this show made it in apparently...

JUST FUCK ALREADY!

That is the first scene where I actually feel that they have healthy mother/daughter relationship. Not, whatever the fuck those scenes from the last episode was

"I can actually hear your eyes roll" Oh, sorry, was I too loud?

Wow, and she end this conversation with an insult to her own daughter...

Holding a sign over her head saying "I am the evil student" would be less subtle for Beatrix!

No matter how many emotional scenes we get with Terra about her struggles, I will ALWAYS find her ANNOYING

I get so distracted in this scene because honestly, I think that this actress who plays Bloom would have been perfect for the role of Clary Fray in the Mortal instruments series. Now whether Kathryn McNamara would be better as Bloom that is another story, because she KILLED IT in Arrow and honestly I think that McNamara isn't cut for Teen drama... where were we again? Oh that's right

I mean she dresses the part of Clary Fray rather than Bloom

*snores*-GAH! What did I miss? Oh, nothing, just Bloom doing things herself rather than getting help and Stella being a bitch.

Stella: "Here, let me help you with controlling your power, you just need positive emotions. I'll just go ahead and bully you like the bitch I am"

I literally had to take a 10 minute break from this episode

This GREENhouse is unnaturally YELLOW considering all the plants

"you wanna see something cool?" "Sure" Me: No

This show makes me numb...

"Show, don't tell" And yet another one of my mantras made it in.

"That's Mr. Silva, who is fighting for his life, let's just stand here and where the hell has Bloom gone off to? That silly girl"

Oh, my god! That Burned one just went through Bloom's fire like it was nothing! Just kept on parkouring!

TOXIC RELATIONSHIP ALERT!

IS THERE SERIOUSLY NO BACK ENTRANCE OR A MEDICAL FACILITY THEY CAN DRAG SILVA THROUGH? THEY JUST HAD TO GO THROUGH THE MAIN CORRIDOR????

WOW BEATRIX! COULD YOU BE ANY MORE FAKE? "Oh, poo, headmistress"*blink blink*"Headmister Silva was hurt by that monster thing you kept in the barn in the woods"*proceeds to put eyedrops in her own eyes to produce tears*

I have no idea where anybody is in this scene.

There really is no medical facility in this school. Also "Someone released the burned one before we got there" "But who would do such a thing?" Beatrix:

Honestly I had no idea that the assistant was in on the evil scheme.

Dear god, that electric toothbrush is louder than my neighbor's drill... and our walls are made out of concrete, so if he hammers or drills on the wall, we can hear it as if he is doing it right next to us!

That toothbrush isn't even on. I mean it is not spinning, isn't it supposed to spin?

Stella: "I had to cover for us of what we were doing there trespassing." Me: So... what did you say?

Here's how the Hate to Like spectrum is to me so far: Stella and Terra, Bloom and Musa, then Aisha.

PFFT! OH MY GOD THAT CLIFFHANGER!

And I think this gif sums up my feelings about the episode:

[allthebrazilianpolitics]

So, in Brazilian education news, documents just unveiled reveal that the selection of current minister of education Abraham Weintraub for his post as university professor in 2014 was rather odd. For starters, he was the one and only candidate to the post of professor of accounting sciences in the Federal University of Sao Paulo (UNIFESP), and yet he barely made it to the minimum accepted score. In the 32 other tenders of the same period, no other accepted professor made it with the minimum score. In their annotations, evaluators said:

“Theme without suitable scientific support. There was no linearity in the speech.“

“There is no support. There is no linearity in the speech. Lack of cohesion.”

 “The candidate's expositions are unsustainable and very vague. The exposition is not linear and the candidate uses concepts without explaining them. Shows knowledge and comprehensiveness, but does not present a cohesive and clear text.”

“Very vague.”

“Confusing, diverging theme and content. Confused, bombastic, unsupported. Great leaps with no linearity.”

No scientific production

“He spells out a theme and makes recurring digressions, full of other content. Nothing linear.”

“Concepts presented with coherence, but with deficiency in the catenation.” 

"As it was only for undergraduate classes, we believe that he presented enough." (this evaluator was saying that the area of accounting sciences is not particularly disputed, the specific competition had a low degree of demand, and the relatively low salary made the post not particularly attractive)

Source.