📱skz texts — they’re away on tour (surprise valentines day edition 💓)
| including. han, felix, seungmin, i.n
warnings. none
a/n: happy valentines day angels 💞💞
hyung line
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So, Valentine’s Day. Not a fan.
Everyone knows that it's just for chicks and sad, desperate losers looking to get laid. Just another holiday that was made up by Hallmark and jewelry stores and the big candy companies to exploit dumb, romantic saps.
Which is not me. I mean, look at me. Do I look like I need cheap candy or overpriced jewelry to impress the babes? No, I do not.
Wait, was that a knock at my door? Hang on...
Huh. Someone left a Valentine's gift. Must be for Robby. Lemme check the tag...
To: Johnny
From: Your Secret Admirer
I have a secret admirer?? OMG. I wonder which poor, desperate loser I know wants me. Probably LaRusso. He keeps buying me shit.
A box of chocolates? For me?? No one's ever given me chocolates before. Not even the cheap kind.
Honestly, it's kind of a step down from a whole car. And I'd rather have a six pack. But lucky for my Secret Admirer, I'm easy. Besides, it's a sweet gesture, and it's the thought that...
Wait, there's something else in here!
Chocolates AND a stuffed dragon?! Look at it's goofy face! It's so soft and cute!
Ahem. I mean, it's so badass. Yep. Totally fearsome and badass. Very manly, etc.
Hold up, if I'm the one getting candy and stuffed toys, does this mean my Secret Admirer thinks I'm the chick in our nonexistent relationship...??
(I'm kind of okay with that. Shh, don't tell anyone!!)
Okay, okay. Fine. I'm man enough to admit I was wrong about chick holidays. They kind of rock. Happy Valentine's Day, everyone!!
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It's 3 am and big sad hour. It's pancake time. But now they're pink (and hopefully heart shaped)
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Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
[ID: a screenshot from the splatoon 1 plaza of an inkling boy saying “I cancelled a date with a real life girl to play this” but the background has been poorly erased out to be replaced with the aromantic flag. End ID]
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