#voldemorts life

[vyrid]

The way Tom Riddle Jr. was conceived never sat right with me. It has so many plot holes, things that don't add up, and it sounds pretty aggressive towards people who are born under the influence of rape.

In the 6th book, Dumbledore says that Merope used the love potion on Tom Riddle Sr. so that they would be together, and she got pregnant along the way. She stopped the usage of Amortentia when she found out she was with child in hopes that Tom Riddle Jr's birth would make Sr. love her. Instead of loving her, Sr was horrified and ran away from her, leaving her pregnant and broke. He was traumatized from being raped and therefore didn't want anything to have to do with his son.

I don't like Dumbledore's theory. I hate it, actually. Because it doesn't make any sense. We can see from the memories Harry and him go through that Merope was practically a squib and had only a drop of magic in her. She could barely wave around her wand, for God's sake! How the hell would a woman as weak as her make Amortentia not once but multiple times? You need to be decent at magic to even attempt to make the love potion. Her drugging Tom Riddle Sr. suggests that she was a powerful witch, but she clearly isn't, as shown in Gaunt House.

Even if she didn't make the potion herself, there is no way that she bought it either considering she was dirt poor and Amortentia, being the strongest love potion and all, was probably very expensive.

It would have made more sense for Tom Riddle Sr. to dump Merope when he found out she was a witch. Merope would have thought that since she was with a child, Sr. would have mercy and try to look at the situation with a cool head. But he left her, and probably never went looking for Tom Jr. because he would be "freaky" like Merope, too.

It would make a lot of sense for Tom to hate muggle's with such a passion, too, because his own father made his life hell because he hated him for having magic. It makes the whole situation seem like more muggles ruined my life, so I'll ruin theirs instead of I'm a hopeless bully simply hungry for power. It would make the impact of what Voldemort became so much stronger, instead of the usual pure-evil for no reason cliche.

And Tom Riddle killing Sr. would have hit so much different, knowing that Tom knew that Sr. hated him because he was a wizard, just like everyone else in his life (Mrs. Cole, the kids at the orphanage.) Tom wouldn't care for Merope enough to commit murder, no matter how much of a psychopath that he was. But somebody insulting him for who he was? Now that would have done it.

People say that her using the potion was necessary because of Voldemort not being able to love, but I have a lot of things to say about this and none of it is friendly. Claiming that since he was a product of loveless intercourse, he in turn didn't have what it was needed to love another is blasphemy. Children born from rape can't love? What? Yes, it is true that kids born of rape are more likely to be anxious and have anxiety and be more detached than other kids, but they are humans, too. They can and have the right to love, too.

If she wanted to make Voldemort loveless so badly, she could have given him a personality disorder or simply made him aromantic. Depersonalization disorder, borderline personality disorder, or emotional detachment all make it really hard to form healthy relationships with other people. Sarah, an actress with depersonalization disorder, said on BBC news that, "I was unable to love." Something along those lines could have been easily fitted into the story instead of attacking kids born from rape.

If that didn't fit into anything J.K.R could do, she could have just used the excuse of him being a psychopath and not caring for love, or having the time to think about it, because he believed himself superior to anyone else, even in the love department.

She could have done so much with Tom Riddle, instead of making him exactly like all the other baseless villains, and she wasted the opportunity. Anyway, she says that Dumbledore thought that was a theory anyway, so I'm going to continue believing what I said above as canon because nowhere in the book actually confirmed that Dumbledore was right and I don't trust Rowling outside of the series.

Very disappointed, Joanne. 👎

[profoundmakerdreamerss-blog]

Thinking about an AU where Harry travels back to the first war with Voldemort when his parents are still alive. An AU where he is Voldemort's soulmate. An AU where you can't kill your soulmate. Thinking about Harry just fucking with Vee while knowing that.

(because in his time his Voldemort is dead, he was dead because he tried to kill Harry and it backfired. Because in his time Harry lost his other half and broke. That is why he time travels or was forced to travel back by Hermione and Ron because they could see that the loss of soulmate was slowly killing Harry.)

So imagine a fic where Voldemort and Harry are soulmates but Harry learns that after Voldemort dies. So he goes back to the past and start fucking with him out of spite but also protects him and slowly but surely ends up protecting the world.

[lilithofpenandbook]

Something I can't stop thinking about is that Snape began the series being perfectly okay

He was actually at his best. He'd spent ten whole years in Hogwarts without the Marauders and before Harry Potter walked in.

Of course it wouldn't have been easy for him to adjust, but he did. And I just can't help but think of those first months where the other teachers got to know him, and got to realise that this boy needed them, needed their help, and took care of him. I can't help but think of how they promised him that it's okay, it's over, everyone's safe and he's not what he thinks he is. He's okay.

Like, for ten years he would have been happy. He had friends. He had a job. He had a home. Hogwarts was his home.

And then Harry Potter came and everything went wrong.

Can you imagine, him seeing Harry's face for the first time? After so many years of actually being content and happy, suddenly he sees James Potter's face, Lily Evans' eyes. Suddenly he's reminded of Voldemort who will return now, and now he's got a ticking clock, a countdown warning him that that's it, time's up, everything you've built in these ten years are soon going to break. And then come the events of the first and second year. Okay, so they're chaotic and stressful, but it's fine, they're all stressed, they're all in this together.

Then it's Harry's third year.

And that's when everything falls apart.

Remus Lupin, one of his abusers and a serious gaslight, is here in the job he wanted, and acting like everything's fine between them while simultaneously disrespecting him and forgetting to take the potion and being a huge risk to them all. Sirius Black, one of the two main abusers, is on the loose. And no one is ever gonna believe him about Lupin, are they? Suddenly it's Lupin's home. Lupin's safe space. But what about Snape? Do the past 13 years mean nothing? It seems so. And in the end, he has a complete breakdown because it's all coming down.

Then comes the goblet of fire. Okay, normal, right? But then there's moody. And there's the visiting schools. And then there's Kararoff who will not leave him alone! And then...

And then Harry Potter comes with the dead body of a teenage boy, crying and screaming that Voldemort's back.

And now Snape knows that time is up and things only get worse. Everything happens after that, from spying to dealing with that wretched Umbridge who's trying to destroy the school.

And then...

And then he has to kill Dumbledore.

And that when it all ends.

All he built in the past 16 years....

All the promises that they'd never leave him...

That they'd always look after him...

That they know he's not that person he used to be...

That everything will be okay because he has them to look after him...

They mean nothing now.

He's not okay anymore.

[wookiecookiesfactory]

"I was never really able to hold you, then..."

[thatscrooge]

Now's your chance to find a new path. Maybe you're not supposed to live your life consumed by darkness. But that's all I know. Well it's time to go out there and learn something new. Something you can't learn in a classroom. Tom, it's time to go home.

[saintsenara]

ik the draw of snoldemort is that it's as delicious and healthy as fibreglass-riddled cotton candy but have you ever considered them being happy?

yes, all the fucking time.

i am genuinely of the opinion that snape and voldemort are each other's most plausible romantic pairing, and while i sustain that opinion mostly thought the power of being delusional, i do think there's a legitimate grain of potential for snapemort to actually be strangely wholesome.

and so, since this is not the first request I've had for such a thing...

...here comes the snapemort manifesto.

i am also of the opinion that the series presents an extremely narrow and unhealthy definition of love - love as suffering and sacrifice and secrecy - which voldemort can't allow himself to experience because his life has unsurprisingly made him unwilling to suffer or sacrifice and which snape forces himself to experience to the clear detriment of his physical and mental health.

but love is also - fundamentally - about comfort and pleasure and not being bored in someone's company.

the canonical voldemort clearly actually likes snape. he also clearly enjoys spending a substantial amount of time alone with him - especially in deathly hallows: voldemort teaches snape how to fly unaided [the only death eater he seems to do this for], which is canon proof they were going on lots of romantic midnight swoopings; snape is obviously voldemort's source for the information that tonks and lupin have recently married, which means they're gossiping over glasses of wine just as much as they're planning to take over the ministry of magic; voldemort visits snape at hogwarts while he's headmaster, and while that's to steal the elder wand, he does say that he'll join snape once his grave-robbing is done...

the two are clearly intellectually compatible - not simply in terms of level of intelligence but in how that intelligence manifests itself. snape has a very voldemort-ish view of magic as something whose boundaries can constantly be pushed and whose authorities must constantly be challenged - that magic is really about power [and those too weak to seek it] - and it's clear in canon that dumbledore's unease about allowing him near the defence against the dark arts job prior to half-blood prince [when snape agreeing to kill him - and revealing how his love-as-suffering for lily drives him - finally convinces him that snape has rejected the dark side entirely] is because he fears snape's way of understanding magic, since it reminds him of voldemort [and - in reminding him of voldemort - reminds him of grindelwald].

but snape and voldemort's intellectual compatibility has something underpinning it which goes beyond how they understand magic and its purpose in the world. they think the way they do about magic because of the similarities in their life experience.

as harry walks to the forest, he sets himself, snape, and voldemort up as a trio - the "abandoned boys", whose lives have all been shaped, to varying extents, by dumbledore. but, while harry and voldemort are each other's narrative mirror - due both to the overtly mystical pseudo-fraternal [or, if you're so inclined, soulmate] connection which voldemort establishes between them by making harry a horcrux, and to their shared experience of orphanhood - harry actually has much less in common with either half of snapemort than they have in common with each other.

for example, while they're all half-bloods, harry's pureblood parent is his father - which gives him a wizarding name, and the social cachet this brings in a world which is so obsessed with blood, family, and male lineage. snape and voldemort have muggle fathers and muggle names, and this gives them a radically different social standing - even if they are, ostensibly, within the same blood-category - to harry.

similarly, while lily is muggleborn, she is still a witch, attends hogwarts, is known and liked within wizarding society, and - like many muggleborns seem to - separates herself entirely from the world of her birth in young adulthood to live in a way indistinguishable from someone born and raised in a magical family.

tom riddle sr. and tobias snape are actual muggles - which means they exist in a world completely divided [and with that division scrupulously maintained by the ministry] from the magical one. while snape is brought up by his birth family and voldemort isn't, their lives are still dictated by their fathers' experiences of, fear of, and disconnection from magic - and this shapes their lives very differently even than harry's experiences with the dursleys.

harry also heavily resembles his pureblood father, which provides similar social cachet. one device which canon uses a lot is the idea that every member of a pureblood nuclear family unit looks alike - narcissa malfoy is blonde and pale, while her sisters are dark-haired, so that she is immediately identifiable as lucius malfoy's wife and draco malfoy's mother; molly weasley is red-haired and freckly, even though these are weasley, rather than prewett, traits, for the same reason.

in having harry look so much like james - while its primary intention in doing this was clearly to help obscure lily's role in the series' central mystery for as long as possible - the text allows him to smooth his path through the wizarding world because he looks like a pureblood, like someone who is understood to belong in the society through which he moves.

voldemort, in contrast, looks exactly like his muggle father. which parent snape resembles is more ambiguous - in deathly hallows, harry says that snape "greatly resembled" his mother, but both order of the phoenix and half-blood prince suggest this isn't the case, and the person he resembles is his father. this makes more sense, since snape resembling tobias means that he - like voldemort - lacks the visual connection to the wizarding world which would - like a pureblood surname - ease his way of belonging within it.

snape and voldemort are also from the same working-class background and have the same experience of childhood poverty. harry - no matter the financial aspect of the dursleys' neglect of him - is still middle-class in the muggle world by virtue of being raised in a place like little whinging by people like vernon and petunia.

and - crucially - harry's financial circumstances and class-status change utterly when he enters the wizarding world. he ascends to being upper-middle-class; he has the resources to buy everything needed for school new - meaning there's no visual distinction between him and his wealthy peers caused by him having, as voldemort does, secondhand possessions; he is able to treat these possessions casually; and he never, ever worries about being able to afford them [when his nimbus is smashed by the whomping willow, he's upset because he liked the broom so much and because he's embarrassed by the circumstances in which it was damaged, he doesn't worry one bit about not being able to afford a new one - he also considers buying himself a firebolt and, of all the things the one sirius buys means to him, it never seems to seriously cross his mind that it's a stupendously expensive thing for a teenager to own].

harry's class ascendance once he enters the wizarding world also gives him access to the ways of connection and network-forming which dictate how magical society runs. while much of this is voldemort's fault - since it's bound up in the fact that harry is a celebrity - it's also evident that this isn't entirely the case. slughorn's attitude towards harry is influenced just as much by his fondness for lily - and the clear reading of canon is that, if harry was the average hogwarts student and james and lily were still alive, harry would be "collected" for the slug club in the way that cormac mclaggen or regulus black are: people that slughorn wants to keep around in case they offer him something, not people he wants to keep around so that he can manipulate and control them.

voldemort and snape, in contrast, exist outside the social networks which govern wizarding society by virtue of their birth [hence why voldemort sets up a parallel social order - with him at the top - among his followers].

voldemort plays the game the way he's expected to while at school - sucking up to slughorn; leaning in to being, as he puts it, "poor but brilliant" - and then rejects a lifetime of being dependent on slughorn's patronage [he could be minister for magic, but only "if you keep sending me pineapple"!] for the only job he can get on his own merits.

snape rejects the idea of playing the game while at school - the teen snape we meet in order of the phoenix is conspicuous in his difference, not only in appearance but in behaviour, from his peers, and the marauders' bullying of him is motivated just as much by his existence outside wizarding social norms as it is by james' sexual jealousy of his friendship with lily and his own deliberate provocation of james and sirius.

and he also rejects the social convention the series values [by which i mean, the series thinks the class system is good as long as the good guys are the ones insisting on maintaining it] in young adulthood. i bang on about this a lot, but it's clear in canon that the reason snape becomes a death eater - and also the reason why he thinks the death eaters will help lily, even though this initially appears to be nonsensical - is because voldemort offers him a chance to transcend the limitations placed upon him in a world with such a restrictive class system. voldemort is the only person who offers him the things he desires - power, respect, recognition - in a context in which his background is [seemingly] irrelevant.

there's an element of snape seeing what he wants to see here, of course. he's clearly voldemort's exception in terms of social class [just as bellatrix is his exception in terms of gender], and this is a grooming technique on voldemort's part which sets snape apart from the other death eaters and makes him more dependent on maintaining voldemort's favour than men like lucius malfoy or rodolphus and rabastan lestrange, who are inherent insiders to the elite male social circle from which the majority of the dark lord's minions are drawn.

but there is also an element of recognition in voldemort choosing snape which has a heavy blast of affection - platonic or otherwise - behind it.

one of the things which dumbledore gets wrong about voldemort throughout the six books in which he appears is that he believes that voldemort is secretive to the point of repression about his origins, childhood, and life experiences. instead, the canonical voldemort is a certified yapper - he needs virtually no prompting, as a child with dumbledore, a teen with harry, or an adult with harry, to start talking about his life in a way which gives quite a lot about himself away. the proto-death eaters we meet in half-blood prince know all about the teen voldemort's search for his lineage. barty crouch jr. knows his birth name. lucius malfoy is completely unbothered to hear harry state that he's a half-blood.

and this shouldn't surprise us - what orphan wouldn't be on a desperate quest to be perceived, to be understood?

snape is clearly voldemort's favourite because he's someone the dark lord implicitly understands - a clever, awkward, lonely boy searching for respect and power which the stagnant wizarding world refuses to give him. it stands to reason, then, that snape is also voldemort's favourite because the dark lord thinks that snape can understand him.

and, in a situation where he's actually given a chance to offer voldemort this understanding, snape therefore has the power to give the dark lord the thing he's been searching for his entire life - someone who knows who he really is behind the elaborate mask of unassailable majesty and loves him anyway.

none of this has to change the future - voldemort can still be a terrorist who kills his wife guy's only childhood friend, the snapemort will slap nonetheless.

but it still can.

[metalomagnetic]

I feel like I’m always harassing you with my asks (sorry!!), but bouncing off of my previous request for Black lore- what are the Blacks (that we know) like ✨in bed✨? What are they into?

I spent way too long thinking of this!

We'll start with Sirius the Grandpa Black. I have a feeling he was wild in bed, like he was wild in everything. Curiously, I spoke with a friend about this just the past week, and I said 'he made his wife very happy in bed, and exasperated outside of it'. He was a leg man- he loved long, shapely legs on a woman. In his time-period, no one could see a woman's legs, all hidden by long skirts, but he had a way of guessing beforehand lol.

Arcturus- funnily enough, in the new chapter I am writing, Sirius jokes that Arcturus probably only had sex twice in his life, because he cannot see his strict grandfather as a sexual being. And while he certainly had sex more than twice, I think he was pretty standard in bed, nothing crazy, just plain old missionary style. He was a virgin when he married and never cheated on his wife, even after she died, had no desire for anyone other than her.

Pollux and Irma (in my story she's also a Black, half, on her mother's side) have the same dynamic in bed they have in real life. Irma really likes dominating him, and in bed, he actually enjoys it.

Cygnus has a pregnancy kink 😂 That aside, poor man hadn't had much sex since his wife fell into a deep depression.

Alphard was into nerdy, quiet men with a hint of a wild side (he once had a brief crush on Tom Riddle, of course). He was a very generous partner, in bed and outside of it. His last partner, whom he'd been with on and off for like two decades, and actually lived with for the last five years of his life, almost made an appearance in Canis Major, but I had to let the scene go. Alphard left what remained of his wealth to Sirius, but he left his beautiful home to his partner, who was disowned by his family when he moved in with Alphard.

Orion, like the hypocrite he is, likes wilful, stubborn women that defy social convention. The surest way to attract his attention was to 'behave atrociously' (as he would call it) in public. He's twisted, and he enjoys pursing strong women, only to dominate them when he gets them. As soon as he 'tames' them, he loses interest in them. He's very good in bed, very open minded unlike in every other aspect of his life. No one ever left Orion's bed unsatisfied.

Orion needs intimacy- he never had a simple one night stand. Even with his briefest affairs, he still took the time to know them first, and never jumped in bed at the first opportunity, nor was he one to feel attraction for a woman just based on her looks. I think he liked 'the hunt' most of all.

That aside, if his marriage hadn't broken apart, he'd have never cheated on Walburga. Before everything went to hell, for the first ten years of their marriage, he didn't even think of other women, was 1000000% satisfied with his wife. Even after it all went down the drain, during the years, whenever Walburga gave the briefest sign she wants him back in her bed, he'd abandon whoever he was with and come *running* back home, eating up whatever scrap of affection he could get from her.

Walburga was basically into everything Orion suggested, and she had a few suggestions of her own (learned from those erotica and sometimes straight up smut novels that she loves and were mentioned very briefly in It runs) that she wanted to try out. She loves dangerous men (that's why we see her reading books with a naked, fanged vampire on the cover). I'm certain she made Orion pretend he was a vampire at least once 😂 She also had a slight exhibitionism streak when she was younger and they lived in Egypt, which put Orion on edge (but also secretly delighted him). They weren't even having full on sex back then (Orion insisted they wait until marriage) but she found ways to rile him up and play with him and drive him mad until they finally retuned to England and got married.

Bellatrix is creative and she always chases a thrill, and her sex life is fabulous. Rabastan, poor dear, had seen and heard things in that Manor that either give him nightmares, either inappropriate dreams staring his sister in law and his brother. Sometimes, Bellatrix likes duels as foreplay, so she and Rodolphus destroy parts of the Manor and then fuck in the middle of the damage. Of course, they also have calmer sex, an entire day of lazying in bed with Rodolphus, filled with gentle love-making. But when they're feeling more wild and duels come into play, whoever wins gets to dictate the encounter.

No one knows what Narcissa likes in bed, only Lucius, and it took him like a few years to find out. So whatever happens in bedrooms in Malfoy Manor, shall remain between them.

Andromeda takes after her grandmother Irma, both in bed and out of it. Ted is her boy toy. He does whatever she asks, and they both enjoy it a lot.

Regulus, the little repressed freak, once he finally gets to have sex, he lets loose, and then he feels guilty for it, because he considers whatever he did as something beneath a man of his station. Orion should have really paid more attention to him, but he was also very young when Orion died, so they didn't get to have fun sex talk like Sirius got. He's so allergic to feelings and affection, he enjoys impersonal sex the most. Regulus only knows to accept love and give it back with his mother and his brother, no one else.

Sirius is- well, we know Sirius. Because of the way he was raised and all the shit he got from his mother about liking boys, he does have certain unhealthy behaviours. He adheres to the strict gender roles when it comes to sex, so when he's with a woman, he must always be in charge. That doesn't mean he isn't adventurous, but only as long as he has control. Even when he first gets with Voldemort, he unconsciously puts Voldemort in the 'woman's role' in his head. It takes a while for him to get comfortable, and he's lucky Voldemort is a very patient dude. Obviously, after that happens, we can see Sirius definitely has some sort of Daddy kink. Not that he'd think of it like that, nor would the word 'daddy' ever be uttered while he has sex with Voldemort, but he enjoys being taken care of by an older, powerful man. He also has a big praise kink, so there's that.

He's into different things in bed, depending if he's with a man or a woman. And while he did have plenty of mindless one night stands, I think he is most satisfied when he has a deep connection with his partner. He's desperate for affection, for a true connection, even if he was also afraid of having a bond like that. It's why he tried to distance himself from Marlene, even if he wanted her, because he was simply afraid of growing too close.

You never harass me with questions! I love the questions, especially because they make me think of my lovely Blacks and their mysterious lives. ❤️

[mistapottaa]

Harry being KIND THE WHOLE FUCKING TIME ✅️✅️

Ronald Weasley being the untricked BFF until THAT happens ✅️✅️✅️

Bellatrix not being portrayed as a whore and having an actual personality before being her deranged self ✅️✅️✅️

Voldemort being a dilf ✅️🔥✅️✅️✅️🔥🔥✅️✅️✅️🔥✅️✅️🔥✅️✅️✅️

@metalomagnetic you made a cultural reset and I haven't been the same since.

[theoneofshame]

Harry found out they take their morning tea the same way: earl grey with 5 cubes of sugar. Both of them had a bit of a sweet tooth, taste buds fond of over-indulging after going so long without. It got them into heaps of unfortunate situations involving accidental possessions.

Harry knew for a fact if left to his own devices, Voldemort will happily spoon down a whole jar of apricot preserves in one sitting for the same reason that Harry is now banned from the jam pantry in the Hogwarts kitchens. Which he couldn't even be rightly cross about. It’s also the same reason Voldemort hasn’t been able to enjoy a treacle tart since his resurrection - something Harry does feel bad about, but it’s not like he can help it. 

The Dark Lord has the Dark Mark to summon his Death Eaters and treacle tarts to apparently summon Harry, intentionally or otherwise.

[dracomort]

if there's one bit of fanon masquerading as canon that i would like to see die in 2024, it's the idea that voldemort can't love because he was conceived under love potion

that's about as canon as jkr supposedly planning to kill off ron and serve up fred/hermione endgame

Interviewer: How much does the fact that voldemort was conceived under a love potion have to do with his nonability to understand love is it more symbolic? J.K. Rowling: It was a symbolic way of showing that he came from a loveless union – but of course, everything would have changed if Merope had survived and raised him herself and loved him.

Source

[severus-snaps]

potions master @snapecentric

[iamnmbr3]

consider how confusing tom riddle's powers must have been to him. his childhood magic wasn't just random things he could dismiss; he gained a high degree of control over his powers and developed them substantially. and yet he lived completely cut off from the magical world. maybe the first time a snake spoke to him he too wondered if maybe he was going mad. and even after he determined that wasn't so he had no idea why he could do the things he could do or who or what he was.

[profoundmakerdreamerss-blog]

Tomarry AU where Harry knows everything but it's not because he is a time traveller, neither because he is a seer —

Pages and words have always been Harry's best friend. Living inside a cupboard did not help with his obsession. Rather, it was due to those pages that he survived. (He was 14 when he got his room instead of a bloody cupboard to sleep in.). The library was the only place Harry was able to hide from Dudley before they were sent to different schools.

When he was fourteen, and hiding from Dudley in the public library (he was mad that his gaming room was given to him.) he ends up reading a book he came to like very much.

It was a book about an orphan boy (like him.) who ends up going to this magic world (oh, how Harry wished) but sadly Tom ended up being hated there as well. Harry was awed by Tom's strength, but also angry (at the world how they let Tom down.) and angry at Tom for destroying himself to destroy what hurt him (or maybe he was angry at himself for not being able to do the same, maybe he was angry that he couldn't save Tom —) Harry was fourteen and it would seem he was angry at a lot of things.

(—that day Harry punched Dudley back after Dudley hit him. He didn't get to eat for a week straight.)

Jealousy is something he never let himself feel, because it wasn't a privilege he was given — not really. But one thing he was jealous of was the fact that Tom got to fly. (Harry wondered some nights — hungry and unable to sleep — what would he do if he got a magic letter? Would he have friends? How nice it would be to get to eat 3 times a day — how nice it would be to just fly away.).

Harry Potter loved Tom Riddle. Harry Potter also loved Lord Voldemort. The boy who died to be born as a monster. The boy who swallowed all the hatred so that he could hate the world in return (oh, how Harry wish he could burn down the world too sometimes — how he wish he could just hate hate hate and not care care care; maybe then he would finally stop trying look for approval in his aunt's eyes). Harry knew when started reading the book Tom was as cruel as he was strong. And he knew as he read the text, there would come a day Tom would burn the world like he was also burned. Even though he didn't agree with Tom's decisions most of the time he knew Tom. So yes, Harry Potter might not agree with Voldemort but he still loved him. And he wished that he could tell him that. Wished he could tell the man who was still a boy that wanted a family so bad that he stayed up for hours at night searching, hungry to find any living family there was, hungry for a belonging that he wasn't even deigned in the magic world. He wished he could tell Voldemort that no matter what he became, Harry would love him.

So imagine his surprise when he wakes up in a moving train — right after going to bed (instead of a cake he got a can of soup) the night he turned sixteen. Imagine how surprised as he sat there, in robes that he doesn't remember he ever owned. Imagine him freaking out that he got kidnapped as the door of his train compartment opened, and in came Tom Riddle.

[katakosmos]

the crouch family

barty, emily, barty, winky, the grandparents

there was nothing bartemius crouch sr loved more than his job, except maybe for emily crouch. their son, barty, was third on the scale of importance. he was part of the family, that's true, but there was a reason he came after emily and his job: emily was his wife and the mother of his son, and his job was what allowed him to support her and the child. barty would never have been born if it hadn't been for these two. therefore, barty was third.

sometimes emily said, jokingly, that barty was married to his job, and that she only got in the way of their love story. other times though, she said the same thing, but angry. or crying. barty wanted to reassure her, but he could never find the words to tell her you are the most important thing to me.

he knew she was right, his job took up a lot of his time. it made him come home late, it forced him to lock himself in his office. it was a big effort, but necessary. and then, once he had shown everyone his commitment and his value, after having defeated voldemort and become minister, he would have had a lot of time to dedicate to his family. first work, then pleasure.

was that what ruined everything in the end? without realizing it, he had put work first. what would have happened if he had come home on time more often?

what would have changed?

emily crouch loved her son with all her heart... but, sometimes, she felt like she was betraying her husband's trust. he had been there before barty was born, she had loved him before their son. so, emily crouch loved her sweet barty with all her heart, but she loved her husband more.

when they met, they were young and immature. he talked to her about his dreams and goals, and she was enchanted by him. he seemed like a serious young man, with a life plan. someone who would give her certainties. it would have been nice if she could marry a boy like that.

on their wedding day he promised her love and respect. and he always kept his promises. it was important for him, who grew up with a violent father and a submissive mother. the horrible and strict grandparents that barty met only once when he was five, and never again. he told her that he didn't want to be like his father, and he didn't want her to have the same fate as his mother. he was always a great husband.

they argued sometimes, they didn't always share the same ideas. but they always found a way to fix everything, they loved each other. he had given her a purpose, emily was not good at anything, neither in magic nor in life. she would have had no future if it weren't for him. she only had eyes for her husband.

was that her mistake, maybe? she should have given barty more love. was she the cause of it all, all that went wrong?

if she had told barty how much she loved him, would anything have changed?

winky was devoted to the crouch family like no one else had ever been. she had deep respect for her masters, she venerated them, she served them with happiness. they were so kind to her, and she was just a house elf.

she served mr. crouch since he was a child, he was very dear to her. mrs. crouch was a wonderful woman. and when little master crouch joined the family, she was so happy: he was the kindest and most polite child she knew.

sometimes she had heard him say terrible things, terrible indeed, that she would never have dared to repeat. that's why she didn't tell her masters. she made a mistake and ruined everything, there was no other explanation. she was unable to protect the family, and when barty escaped from azkaban she did nothing to alleviate his condition. she should have talked to mr. crouch more, persuaded him to be more lenient. he was a man destroyed by grief, but he was forgetting his son again.

had master crouch felt lonely? had he felt unloved? but then, had he listened to her devoted and sincere words, whispered under the invisibility cloak, or had he simply ignored her all these years?

barty crouch jr hated his family. and it wasn't something he tried to hide, even if they didn't seem to understand it. bearing the name crouch was embarrassing and shameful. bearing the exact same name as his father was an insult. what was "family" to others was nothing more than an oppressive group of people to him. they accused him of destroying their lineage, but why would barty feel bad for doing so? why would he pity an absent father and a mother who only loved him when he was weak and alone?

he had to get rid of them to be completely free. and how ironic, after all, hadn't they all sacrificed themselves so that he would be? but freedom wasn't the air outside azkaban, nor his father and winky's desperate attempt to fix everything. freedom was power, control. and his "family" couldn't give him that. they couldn't give him anything... well, except anger and pain.

but, sadly, he already had those.

[saintsenara]

I enjoyed reading your post about Snapemort, I'm curious what reward Voldemort gave Snape for killing Dumbledore. Was learning to fly the reward for killing Dumbledore?

a blowjob.

[metalomagnetic]

Hei, I love your IRITB and Canis major so much. I keep going back to it.

Since V seemed to be okay with lending Sirius to have a child, how did he feel when Sirius give him the letter about Albus and Gellert and openly admired Grindelwald? And when the Vampire drunk from Sirius? Really I just want to see possessive Voldemort ;)

Also by the end, Voldemort got angry simply when Sirius wasn't home. How would he actually react if he had let Sirius marry and Sirius had a child? (Let's pretend he didn't murder Harry)

Here's a small part that didn't make it into the last chapter of Canis Major (I had to cut about 10k words):

This wasn't one of my brightest ideas, Voldemort considers, when all the vampires in the room stare at Sirius.

It's not just the usual admiration Sirius gets; there's something predatory in their eyes that sets Voldemort on edge. It makes his fingers reach for his wand.

He has to remind himself nothing will happen to Sirius; in fact, he's quite certain Sirius will enjoy it greatly. It's why he volunteered him for it, after all.

Yet even that bothers him. As the woman stalks closer to Sirius, and Sirius' pupils dilate when facing her, Voldemort is bothered, tendrils of anger licking at his brain.

Apparently, it's one thing to know Sirius is whoring around, and quite another to witness it.

He can't stand the way he looks at her, with arousal, the same way he looks at Voldemort, when they're in private.

It infuriates him. The amusement from before, when Sirius was all offended to be offered as a 'snack', withers and dies. He wants to murder the woman.

Rodolphus coughs, and Voldemort snaps out of it, only to realise he'd taken a step forward, and that he's holding his wand.

Get it together, he tells himself, just as Rodolphus sends him a pointed look.

The next few moments are uncomfortable bordering on unbearable. When she bites into Sirius, his Sirius, Voldemort envisions several ways to obliterate her.

He doesn't need vampires on his side that much, does he?

You do, a more rational side of his informs him.

No, I really don't.

"Enough," he orders, after just a few seconds.

She doesn't stop, and he raises his wand-

Nathaniel orders her to stop, and she does.

Voldemort is seething, something ugly and raw twisting inside him when he sees the fang marks on Sirius' throat- a throat that belongs to Voldemort.

And then he has to endure seeing Sirius feeding from the pest, a blissful look in his eyes, between lazy blinks.

It's especially infuriating, because Voldemort cannot feed him this way. This is not something he can offer to Sirius, and he feels lesser because of it. It's all illogical, mad, and it only serves to stoke his anger further.

Finally, it stops.

"How do vampires get erections?"

It's such a Sirius thing to ask, curious, reckless, lustful thing that he is. It would have made Voldemort laugh, but the tension in the room is high, all the vampires are aroused, and Voldemort wants to kill them all.

Nathaniel glides closer to Sirius. "I would be happy to explain."

Voldemort places himself between them. "The deal is sealed," he says, pointing to the door. "You will hear from me soon."

"You'll be able to find me for the next hours," the woman whispers to Sirius. "My blood will lead you to me-"

"Out," Voldemort orders, at the end of his patience.

Horrible images assault him, of Sirius and her naked, in some bed, bodies interwind.

It has never happened before- even when he knew Sirius was out with a woman or another, Voldemort did not think of it, did not care too much, because those women are nothing compared to him, insignificant entertainments that can only hold Sirius' attention for a moment.

But now he imagines it, and it makes him want to destroy something; preferably the vampire woman.

He calms, slightly, once he's alone with Sirius, back home. He's still irritated, because Sirius is hard, and it wasn't caused by Voldemort, but he can keep his anger in check.

And then he makes sure to redirect Sirius' lust, to make it about Voldemort.

As they fuck, Voldemort plans ways to kill the vampire.

When Sirius leaves, close to dawn, Voldemort goes on the hunt.

He brings back a bracelet the woman wore, an ancient thing, now splattered with blood and ashes.

He puts it away in a box, with a smile.

Only then he can sleep in peace.

------

As for your last question, Voldemort *thinks* he will be alright with a marriage, but he won't be. Deep down, even he knows he won't be able to share Sirius, but he doesn't think about it too much, in typical Voldemort fashion. In his delusion, he pretended that Sirius would only have a wife for a night or two, get her pregnant and then she'll just disappear; that the baby wouldn't change Sirius. It's beyond delusional, of course. Marriages don't work quite like that, and neither do children.