#wait was it her being upset the other person was acting too happy OR was it that she wasn't upset enough HERSELf

[a-hazbin-reader]

A Alastor x wife!reader where reader has been wanting a family and finally by some miracle she discovers she's pregnant

Just a thought 🫠

You are not even the third person to ask for this and we're all already delusional here soooooo-

Alastor X Reader Headcanons

✅️Romantic

❌️Platonic

TW: Sadness, Reader has baby fever and spreads it to her husband unintentionally, A little angst, Implied baby making 😉

Description: 👆⬆️

Alastor would do anything for his wife, spare no expense for her happiness and it shows

You two have talked previously about your obvious desire for a family with him

He would be willing to give that to you even though he's admittedly not the biggest fan of the idea

Part of him is scared of being a father but he won't ever admit that

You two both knew that sinners couldn't reproduce, and it crushed you that the opportunity was taken from you

You were still happy to have your husband and your found family at the hotel

You just still had that desire to have a baby, your husband's baby to be exact

Alastor hates seeing you so hurt over this, he wants to fix things for you, but this is out of his control

He couldn't give you a baby no matter how hard he tried, and that makes him feel helpless, which makes him angry

Sometimes the longing for a baby and the despair of knowing you can't have one gets to be too much for you and you unintentionally draw into yourself

Not amount of hugging or soothing words from your husband can console you, no matter how hard you cling to him and seek his comfort

You're just so sad sometimes

Which leads to Alastor being frosty and agitated with the others around the hotel, upset that he can't just fix it

He would give you the biggest family if he could, whatever he could do to make you feel whole

It's not like you two are neglecting each other or growing apart, there's just this heavy feeling hanging between you two

Everyone knows something is up with you two, but nobody is brave enough to ask, except maybe Vaggie, but she's respecting your privacy as a couple

Of course, it's Charlie who tries to get to the bottom of things for the two of you, everyone is just worried you two are fighting

So when you finally relent and tell her the truth, she's relieved that you and Alastor only want to have a baby-

YOU AND ALASTOR WANT TO HAVE A BABY!?

Sinners can't reproduce so you're just riding out your baby fever until it's manageable again

But no sinner has had a friend in the Morningstar family before

Not even a day later Alastor is greeted by Lucifer while you're out with Charlie and the others

"Hey man, heard you wanted me to get your wife pregnant! Lucky for you, I happen to have a thing for married women~"

When you come back home you're surprised to see Lucifer and your husband talking amicably, both turning their heads towards you immediately

"Ah! Would you look at the time? I should really get going, things to do, ducks to make-what?"

Lucifer gives you an unexpected side hug on his way out, hand resting momentarily on your stomach before leaving

You rub where he touched, surprised by the sudden warmth that lingers there

Your husband is looking at you strangely too but kisses you in greeting before you can even question it

Alastor acts rather clingy the rest of the day, following you around, asking you how you're feeling, giving affection more freely

You can't deny that you're loving the attention and soaking up every bit of it, the warmth in your stomach having spread throughout your entire body now

If Alastor's sudden neediness is anything to go by, he's feeling the same as you are

How either of you manage to wait until everyone has gone to bed to indulge in each other is beyond you

The entire night is a blur but when you wake up the entire bed has nearly been torn apart

Feathers are all over the place, the blankets have all been kicked away or shredded, the bed frame is clawed and cracked

You would almost feel embarrassed, but when you look at your handiwork on your husband, you can't help but feel proud

Things mostly go back to normal after that, except Lucifer visits more often and seems to pay special attention to you

You feel like everyone is watching you lately and you don't know why, you're never alone anymore, your husband especially is very hovery

But it ends up working out in your favor because one day you wake up, overwhelmed by the urge to vomit, your husband holding back your hair

And it keeps happening for days on end, and you start gaining weight without explanation, and your cravings are suddenly intense and-

Your husband is looking a little too pleased with himself, rubbing your back soothingly as you poke at your mysteriously changing body in the mirror

"You did this to me somehow, didn't you!"

"Why honey, why would I need to babytrap you when we're already married?"

"Because you-what?"

It takes a few moments to register what he said, all the strange things in the last few months clicking into place

"You got me pregnant..?"

He actually starts to look a little embarrassed, suddenly unsure if he really did the right thing after all-

When did he end up on the bed?

Is definitely sure in his decision later when he exits the bedroom, fixing his hair and clothes while he leaves you sleeping in bed

Luckily, the hotel has a lot of people who are willing to help out with your pregnancy because Alastor is worried he's actually in over his head

Your mood swings are more like mood hurricanes and sometimes he needs help knowing the right things to say

"Y/N, don't worry about not fitting into your own clothes, this is uh...just an opportunity to get new ones!"

"T-Thanks Vaggie..."

The cravings start to get fucking weird, Alastor genuinely repulsed by some of the things you're asking him for

"Darling, I can get you fresh meat as bloody as you want but do you really need to eat it with cake and ice cream?"

"Don't you love me..?"

He'll be back in 10 minutes

The bigger you get, the more sore and tired you are, constantly needing help around the hotel as you waddle around

"Thanks for helping me, Husk...I was getting really tired."

"Charlie, is it alright if I sit in that chair? My back is killing me.."

Alastor is scared with how vulnerable you are like this so he sticks close to you but silently appreciates the help from everyone

Even the other overlords come to see your miracle pregnancy, which doesn't help with Alastor's paranoia over how defenseless you are right now

They just want to see

As if Carmilla or Rosie would let anything happen to you anyways, Rosie loves the crap out of you and Carmilla wouldn't hurt an expecting mother

Rosie is constantly visiting and bringing baby gifts, so many that they're starting to pile up around the hotel

"Oh darling, you're practically glowing! Alastor! Have you told Y/N how radiant she is with her pregnancy?"

She wants to be Aunty Rosie so bad

Alastor genuinely admires the changes in your body, feeling pride in the thought that he did this to you

"With a little help from the big boss of-"

"You haven't left already?"

"I want to talk to my god child~ Can you stop hogging Y/N's belly for five minutes?"

"Your what now?

Alastor rubs your belly a lot, baffled by the idea that his spawn is in there and how happily you carry it

How you're so proud to be having his kid is beyond him, he knows what a wretched man he is and you still love him, take pride in him

The first time he feels the baby kick, he's a little unnerved but then you guide his hand back, smiling at him in a way that makes his heart ache for you

"Our baby wants to say hi to you..."

Okay, now his heart is melting, give your husband a kiss right now

Starts kissing and talking to your belly more after that, talking to the baby about anything and everything as if you're not even there

"Now your mother, you have no idea how lucky she is to have me as her husband~"

Confides in you late one night, about his fear of being a father and failing you and the baby

Not him having tears pinpricking in the corners of his eyes as you kiss him and reassure him

He doesn't particularly care about the gender of his child, just that you and the little spawn are okay

But if the baby is a girl, then he would like her to have his mother's name, that's all he would ask really

If the baby is a boy then he'll let you pick the name out as long as it's something fancy sounding

Does all the work when it comes to the nursery and baby proofing but has no idea what that actually entails, so you'll have to help him out

He's so proud to show you the finished look

The closer it gets to your due date, the more out of sorts and anxious he is but he tries to put on a brave face for you

He makes sure you never have to lift a finger, doing everything he can to make you comfortable and spending all his free time with you

Carmilla and her daughters all volunteer to assist in the labor, Zestial coming for the sake of tagging along

Alastor is in genuine anguish when you actually go into labor, the sound of you in pain and him being helpless to help is torture for him

Refuses to leave your side the entire time, blocking out everything else but you and encouraging you as best he can

Focuses so hard on taking care of you that he hardly notices that you've finished, surprised when Carmilla suddenly puts not one but two babies in your arms

You're visibly exhausted but seem to gain a renewed energy at the sight of your babies, looking at them in wonder before giving Alastor a tearful smile

"A boy and a girl, a miracle on top of already being miracle babies. Congratulations, Alastor."

Carmilla pats him on the shoulder before leaving, pulling Zestial and her daughters along with her

Alastor doesn't even register what she said, still dumbfounded at the sight of you cooing at two squirming infants

TWINS!? Lucifer, you sneaky son of a bi-

"Do you want to hold them, Alastor?"

"I would love nothing more, my dear..."

He definitely doesn't immediately fall in love when his babies cling to him like they'll never let go, holding his fingers in their unbelievably tiny hands

A LITTLE TREAT FOR ALL OF YOU WHO WERE BEGGING FOR THIS

[jadeylovesmarvelxo]

18+ mdni. Smut and jealous reader deciding to cause a little chaos.

Popular bitchy reader grows annoyed over Eddie's attention being directed at the new girl in Hellfire.

🎀✨

You were used to Eddie's attention being only on you, the both of you driving each other crazy and continuously trading barbs and witty banter.

Robin was deadly serious when she told Steve the latest gossip about you two, that she was sure that your arguing was some weird form of foreplay. Both of you for sure got off on it.

Now though? now you were bored, upset and very pouty. The latter which Eddie secretly loved and it was all because of her, the new girl at Hellfire.

Her name was Kimberly and she was your mortal enemy, or as mortal enemy as one could get in senior year at High School.

At least for this week.

Eddie had of course noticed how pissed you were at him hanging and paying attention to someone other than you. He knew you were jealous and he was waiting for you to admit it.

Meanwhile if you heard Eddie laugh at Kimberly's joke one more time you were going to lose it.

So instead of whining and crying about Eddie being so focused on someone else you decided to distract yourself.

Distraction came in the form of Jason, much to Eddie's fury which made your flirting with Eddie's enemy all the more sweeter. Eddie's rants against the dark side escalated by the day and he takes particular care in calling out Jason, and the "balls he throws into laundry baskets being bigger than Jason's own balls"

It's thrilling watching him be so jealous, serves him right for trying to make you pissed and envious over whatshername.

Eddie finally cracks on Friday and walks over to you all dark eyes and clenched jaw, tense and seething.

"What the fuck are you doing with Carver?" He demands and you take your time answering him.

"Oh, I think it's called flirting" you reply and if it's possible his eyes narrow even more, you peer up at him and act confused.

"Why do you care so much, when you have Katie at your beck and call" the anger leaves his features and he smirks.

Shit you gave away too much. "It's Kimberly, she's new to Hellfire sweetheart. I was just showing her the ropes. Not my fault you're a jealous brat"

You glare at him, gather the things from your locker, take time to apply some lipgloss and watch Eddie grow irritated once again.

"Jason's so much nicer to me than you, I don't know why I even like you so much Edward" you reply to him and he huffs in frustration.

"Are you happy now my attention is back on you princess?, incase you haven't noticed, you're all I think about" He seethes, furious he's confessed his real feelings for you.

Elated you grab your bag and his gaze follows you as you walk out of the school and make your way towards his van, for some privacy.

"Oh I've been so awful Eddie, maybe you'll need to teach me a lesson?" you add in a pout for maximum effect and his control snaps, and he pulls you too him, kisses you until the both of you break away panting from the intensity.

"You are the only person I want. Is that what you want to hear?" Eddie demands but his gaze is a tiny bit softer. Thrilled you kiss him again and tug him inside the van.

...

You're so lost in finally being with Eddie, both of you fucking each other until you're both babbling, incoherent messes, that you don't here the knock on Eddie's window.

His van door opens, there's a shriek and you peer up, Kimberly blushes as she takes in the image of you sitting astride Eddie, tits bouncing up and down, both you and Eddie's faces full of bliss.

"Oh my god, I'm sorry, I didn't..." she trails off mortified. You roll your eyes at her babbles and squeeze around Eddie tightly, causing him to moan.

"Eddie's a little busy right now, in fact he's going to be busy with me a lot from now on, so cut the cutesy uwu girl act and back off, kay?" You add sweetly and Kimberly nods rapidly and rushes off.

Eddie is gazing at you torn between amusement and exasperation. "Princess" he chides and you shrug and begin to rock your hips in a way that makes Eddie's eyes glaze over and soft swears leave his mouth.

"Now, where were we?"

[andyridgeley]

In todays edition of all the wild stuff always happens when I’m not there:

me finding out that on my day off two of our bartenders got fired for getting in a fist fight in the middle of the dining room because one accused the other about acting too happy after her dad’s death.

what the aldskjfklasjdf geez like quick q do you work at a restaurant/bar on a reality tv show??? are you on the vanderpump rules?

[portagas-chan]

Yours Forever and Ever : Part 2

Yandere Katakuri x Isekai Reader

Things to note: Angst, Manipulative Behavior - where Katakuri gaslights [Y/n] and guilt-trips her.

Part 3: https://www.tumblr.com/portagas-chan/750092733174169600/yours-forever-and-ever-part-3

Much to her surprise, Katakuri has been very nice to her. His behavior towards her was like a slap to her face when she compared it to the possible worst-case scenarios she had of him. It's not like she was complaining though.

"Are you bored?"

Katakuri's voice snapped her out of her daze. She was sitting on the edge of his bed and was daydreaming. Katakuri sat on what seemed like his working desk, writing something. It probably has something to do with the wedding preparations.

"Kind of?" [Y/n] tilted her head.

Katakuri looked at her before dropping his quill pen and walking towards her. The bed shifted a little when he sat beside her.

"I've been wanting to ask you something," Katakuri started. [Y/n] stared at him silently, waiting for him to continue. "How do you feel about this whole thing?"

"Which one? Being kidnapped and held as a hostage or my friend's wedding with your sister?"

"Everything," Katakuri answered.

"Sure, this whole thing was unexpected but I'm not bothered at all," She shrugged.

"And why is that?"

"Well, when you have someone like Luffy as your captain, crazy things always happen which is normal. Plus, I have faith in Luffy. I know we will always find a way out of difficult situations," Katakuri noticed how her lips curled up into a soft smile, how her eyes looked innocent and overall, a gentle expression she has on her face.

Katakuri was jealous of Luffy. He didn't like how she was so devoted to Luffy. How much she trusted him and her loyalty towards him. What does that damn straw hat has that he doesn't? What should he do to make her act the same towards him? He didn't know but one thing for sure, no matter what, he would never let go of her.

Katakuri hesitated to ask but did it anyway, "Does that mean... you will leave me?"

[Y/n] paused not knowing what to say. Katakuri had been sweet to her. He was kind and she felt grateful towards him but staying here forever? She couldn't see that happening. She didn't mind visiting him occasionally but being stuck in a place forever? Joining a crew as worse as the Big Mom pirates? Yeah, no.

Katakuri was such a sweetheart and a good friend of hers. He'd probably be happy if she accepted his offer to join his crew but that was only him and maybe Brulee too but the others? She'd probably spend the rest of her life being bullied by them whenever Katakuri wasn't around.

"[Y/n]?" Katakuri called her. She looked at him in the eyes and sighed, "Katakuri, you're a very nice person and I'm thankful for that. I honestly don't know what would have happened to me if your siblings were the ones I'd be held hostage by."

Katakuri smiled under his scarf, "It's not a problem at all."

"But I don't think I can abandon my crew for something like that," [Y/n] didn't dare to look at him in the eyes. She knew Katakuri would be upset.

"Am I not important to you?" His voice was cold and there was a hint of sadness behind it.

"You are!" She quickly denied him. "It's just.. you know, I don't know how to explain it but I will come by and visit you often," She tried to reassure him but it didn't help. Katakuri was still gloomy.

[Y/n] was met with silence. Katakuri didn't even look at her. He just stared into space not saying anything which worried her. She placed her hand on his and squeezed it lightly, "Katakuri? I'm sorry. I'm sorry, okay? I wish we met under different circumstances."

"I don't want that," Katakuri mumbled but [Y/n] couldn't make out what he said.

"Come again?"

Katakuri slowly took off his scarf, dropping it on the floor. He finally faced [Y/n] but this time his whole face was exposed, allowing her to see his expression.

When she saw her face, it shocked her. His mouth turned downwards, frowning. His eyebrows knitted together and his eyes reflected desperation, frustration, and sadness. [Y/n] had never seen Katakuri like this. The only time she had seen him with this kind of expression was when he was younger and Brulee got hurt.

"I don't want that, [Y/n]!" He hugged her. "Please don't leave me."

[Y/n] didn't know what to say. Why was Katakuri acting like this? She couldn't think of any other reason but one. He liked her but why? They haven't known each other for long. Was it love at first sight? No, that was absurd and out of character for him.

[Y/n] remembered something and wanted to make sure what she thought was right. She pushed Katakuri away and looked at him.

"Why did you take off your scarf?"

Katakuri was taken aback by her sudden question.

"You never took it off so I assume that it's your biggest insecurity," She continued. "So, why?"

Katakuri sighed, "Because I trusted you. I had a feeling you wouldn't judge me." Well, he wasn't wrong but he literally killed people if they saw him like this even if it was unintentional, and yet here he was, taking it off and showing his weakness to her willingly.

So, she was right. Katakuri liked her but what about her? She didn't know how to feel about this. She knew about Katakuri but never got to know him personally.

"Or am I wrong? Do you hate me now because I look like this?" Katakuri said which made her stare at him in disbelief. "What? No! Are you kidding me?"

Katakuri smiled, tucking her hair behind her ear, "Then, I don't see the problem here."

[Y/n] avoided his eyes and sighed, "No, you are not getting it, Katakuri. I can't just abandon my crew. I have friends out there and I can't leave them like-"

Katakuri cut her off with a groan, "It's always about your crew. What about me? Do you not care about me? Then all those words you said were just words that meant nothing. You're lying to me, [Y/n]."

"No, Katakuri, that's not what I meant," But she was cut off by the knocks from a servant.

"Katakuri-sama? Mama would like to see you," He said before leaving.

"It's okay, you can stop pretending to care. It hurts more if you act like you care. I would prefer if you didn't and just be honest with me," Katakuri said as he got up from the bed and put on his scarf.

He started to walk away but [Y/n] immediately followed him.

"Wait, no! You've got it all wrong!" She grabbed his arm to stop him but Katakuri shook it off. With his strength, [Y/n] fell onto the ground and yelped in pain.

Katakuri looked at her and for a moment, he felt bad for hurting her. It wasn't his intention to hurt her and never will he hurt her. He walked back to her and crouched down.

He took her wrists in his hand and destroyed those cuffs. [Y/n] closed her eyes waiting for the explosion but it never came. She opened her eyes and was met with Katakuri's cold ones.

"It was just a fake to scare you off."

[Y/n] looked at her now free hands and looked back at Katakuri.

"You're free now. You can run back to your crew that you love so much and leave me behind," Katakuri said making her feel a pang of guilt.

[Y/n] didn't move an inch. She stayed in the same position.

"What's stopping you, [Y/n]? I don't matter to you and nothing is holding you back so what's stopping you?" Katakuri repeated before standing up and turning around to leave.

"Katakuri! There's been a misunderstanding. Please, hear me out!" [Y/n] pleaded but Katakuri ignored her pleas slamming the door in her face.

"Katakuri..." [Y/n] whispered sadly.

[Y/n] felt guilty. Had she gone too far with rejecting him? But it was all too sudden for her and she didn't know what to do. She didn't know Katakuri was feeling like that.

She felt like crap. She felt like a horrible person. She didn't want to leave her crew. She had stayed with them for a long time and grew fond of them but she didn't want to leave Katakuri too. Especially, now that she knows he felt hurt and betrayed by her.

[Y/n] didn't know what was the right decision to make.

Should she stay?

[drdemonprince]

Autistic friend anon here — thank you so much for your answer and the substack post. I was kind of stuck in the “rejection” feeling of “wait but if being autistic isn’t a bad thing then why are you so upset at the idea that YOU might be autistic”. I took it really personally and wasn’t really thinking about how much it sucks when someone acts like they know you better than you do. I’ll have to keep working through that.

I also often get stuck in the idea that “well if someone had just TOLD ME I was queer/trans/autistic then I could have figured it out sooner and life would be better” or whatever. But after many years of being out as queer/trans, I think that isn’t actually true and even if it is, I don’t interact with other possibly queer/trans people by “diagnosing” them with queerness/transness any more. In my head it seemed like autism was different for some reason, but of course it is not.

Anyway, your answer was really thoughtful and diplomatic, while also being very clear about what is bad behavior on my part. It is genuinely going to be a big benefit in my life.

Hey, nice to hear from you again!

I totally feel you. When I told a friend years ago that I thought she might be a BPDer, I was incensed that she ended up not taking that comment well. I meant it in an affirming, pro-Mad-Pride kinda way! I was a BPDer too! if she thought it was bad to be BPD, what did that mean she thought about me?

But I was looking at it the wrong way. I had just hurled a still very stigmatized label in her direction as a response to her complaining about real relational struggles in her life, which felt diminishing and presumptive. Telling various people in my life that I'm pretty sure they're Autistic can have a similar effect, even if they're on board Autism acceptance as an idea.

I used to fixate on the time I lost not realizing I was trans or queer or whatever the fuck I am yet. I had a vision of an older me materializing before me at age 16, specifically on the corn-lined roads I used to bike up and down furiously, and imagined telling myself the Truth of who I was and what I had to do to be happy. I believed that if i had known I was trans younger I would have avoided a lot of upsetting relationships, eating disordered periods, and general angst.

Now. I am pretty damn sure that is not true. It turns out that being trans was not a solution to all my problems, it was just another problem that I had. In the sense that it's a challenge to navigate on this bitch of an earth. if i hadn't chosen to be trans i would have chosen some other shit to do that also would have been a major pain in the ass i'm sure. that too would have been an interesting back story.

I dont think I was ever going to be outgoing and unneurotic and breezily well adjusted. That's not my lot in life. Feeling a little uncomfortable in my body and around other people is as definitional a part of me as my wit or my weird laugh. I can kinda love that about myself now, or at least accept it. nothing and nobody actually could have saved me. its just not that simple. but it's been a pretty interesting life.

i think we tend to impose our self-narratives onto other people when we are not happy or we are harboring deep regrets about having gotten something wrong or missed something in the past. but we cant spare our friends those journeys. they should get to have them. it's interesting and enriching to get things wrong, be in denial, cope in elaborate stupid ways, soul search, change our minds, miss something, find something, never know what's true.

[hazbinstohell]

Something interesting to ponder given the canon depiction of Alastor and Charlie's relationship. I've spoken to aroace people on the subject and they have explained that while they don't feel sexual/romantic attraction to others there are people they hold in a category that's different from pure platonic friendship. It's a desire to be close to an individual. Some have affectionately referred to this person/feelings toward this person as a squish.

That context is necessary as I feel canon is still going to give us charlastor in the form of a squish, even if it's just one sided. Even with how short season 1 is we see that Alastor values Charlie far more highly than anyone else, and he does seem to love being a provider of some kind, if we take Mimzy's words into account,

"But you love taking care of me!"

Even if he's not attracted to someone so long as he cares he will reciprocate that affection through what looks to be acts of service as his love language. We see this with Charlie too, she's upset and while he does make a deal for a favor once the information is handed over he leads her to the one place in Hell where Charlie's natural communication Al methods work far better than what others have conditioned her to do. When the time comes to make a big speech he offers her the crux of his power willingly, not once but twice, he openly says that he had faith in her specifically, even if he doesn't strictly believe in the viability of her mission. Charlie is the only one allowed to touch him (as far as Alastor is concerned) "intimately" and by that I mean that she is able to glomp onto him without waiting first for his express consent like Mimzy and even Rosie had to.

She's already special to him, and I think the nature of their deal means that he specifically went after her because both that she had the power to help him and the kindness not to use this weakness against him. As far as I can tell, that's essentially the squish as I understand it. So even though romantic charlastor will never be canon I still feel that with what we've been given we have a good amount of evidence for the squish theory and that makes me happy so I wanted to share

Very interesting theory. I mean, no, it is canon, I get it. I also see the aro/ace thing, and that should not stop him from having any type of relationships with anyone. I do feel like he tends to flock to Charlie for a variety of reasons, and one of them is she is now accessible and wasn’t before. There is also the fact she is powerful, as he says he sees potential in her. Personally, I see the show promoting a very unique bond between the two, but I will enjoy shipping them.

However, the whole Dad thing gave fuel to a fire…and if they start doing the teacher/student thing…..boy Charlastor shippers will be eating so good.

[cool-fancier]

The Way I Loved You

Synopsis:After your breakup, you realized how selfish you had been, prioritizing your career over your relationship with Bada. As months went by, you wrote the song "The Way I Loved You," in which you expressed your regret and love for her. When Bada heard the song, it had an intense effect on her and caused her to consider her feelings for you.

Being a solo artist meant that your career had always come first for you. Your relationship with Bada has been damaged as a result of your persistent dedication to what you want in life. She had been your girlfriend for quite a while, but the months prior to that had been very difficult.

Bada was tired of the one-sidedness of the relationship. She seemed to be patiently waiting for you to make the time for her and give it a try. Your relationship faltered as a result of your hectic lifestyle and ongoing focus on your job.

One day, Bada had gathered the guts to talk to you about the distance that was forming between you two. Although neither of you wanted to have the conversation, it was necessary.

The atmosphere in the room was strained, and the weight of the conversation was noticeable. You and Bada sat across from each other, both knowing that this conversation had been a long time coming. Your relationship had been slowly worsening and now it had reached a breaking point.

Bada inhaled deeply, a mixture of agony and despair visible in her eyes. "Y/N," she said, "we need to talk about us."

As you knew what was about to happen, your throat tightened as you nodded. "I know, Bada. We do."

Bada's voice quivered as she continued, "Our relationship, it's not working anymore. We've been drifting apart, and it seems like we're both just acting the part.”

You couldn't help but become upset at what she said. "Well, Bada, I'm not the only one. You know I have a busy schedule with my music career. But have you thought about how much I've sacrificed for us? I've put my career on the line for this relationship."

While Bada's expression relaxed, the pain stayed. "Y/N, I love you, but this love isn't enough. We need more than that. We need effort, we need to feel like we matter to each other.”

You began to tear up as you realised what a failure you had been at making Bada feel loved and valued. "Bada, you're right. You should also realise how much I sacrificed for this relationship; I've become arrogant and you're not the only one who's made sacrifices."

Bada's voice cracked as she said, "I never thought I'd say this, Y/N, but maybe we should take a break. Time apart to figure out what we really want."

You nodded, your heart breaking at the thought of being without Bada. "If that's what you need, Bada, I'll respect your decision, but don't forget everything I've done for us."

Bada's tears flowed freely now, and she reached out to hold your hand. "I want us to be happy, too, Y/N, but we can't do that if we're holding each other back."

Knowing that this was the beginning of the end, the two of you sat there with your words and emotions hanging in the air. It was a difficult choice, but you both knew that sometimes love couldn't repair what was wrong. For a while at least, you had to let each other go in order to find yourself and possibly come back stronger.

After the breakup, you were left alone to think on what went wrong. You couldn't help but feel an overwhelming feeling of loss. You had to deal with the consequences because your job had forced you to be separate from the person you loved.

It was a harsh realization, but you couldn't stop loving Bada. Every time you saw her, every time you saw the happiness she found with someone else, your heart twisted. It was your fault for letting her go and for assuming her love would always be there for you.

As more time passed after your breakup with Bada, you found yourself struggling to come to terms with the reality of being apart. You felt a sharp aching in your heart every day, and you couldn't help but think back on the times you had spent together. You couldn't escape the feeling that you had made a terrible mistake.

The decision to part ways had weighed heavily on you. The more time that passed, the more you understood how selfish you had been during that conversation. You lost the love of your life because you prioritised your music career over your relationship. You could see that Bada had moved on and was now happy with Howl, her new partner. They loved each other in the same way that you once did with Bada.

Even though you knew it was too late to change the past, you longed for Bada. You were unable to turn back time or change the harm you had caused. But you may use your music to convey your emotions, your regrets, and your longing.

So, you put all of your heart and soul into a song that expressed how much you once loved Bada and how much you still do. Your true regret and the painful knowledge that you gave up something valuable were all over the song. You called it "The Way I Loved You," a sincerely honest and highly personal song.

The song became a hit as soon as you released it. The lyrics and melody that captured the depth of your feelings were written with a real emotion that connected with your audience. Your confession, apology, and devotion for Bada were all expressed in the song.

Bada heard the song, and it moved her in ways she hadn't expected. The love that had always been there was like it had been revealed by the lyrics, which had peeled back the layers of your heart. She realized that you hadn't been selfish because you didn't care. It was because you cared too much, but you hadn't known how to balance your career and your relationship.

Every time Bada listened to "The Way I Loved You" on repeat, tears welled up in her eyes. She had to admit that she still had feelings for you. But the question remained: was it possible to mend what was broken?

[withacapitalp]

Countdown Pt 2

Follow up to this thing I wrote yesterday

People always acted funny when they saw his timer. They usually reacted in two ways- either they tried to pretend that they didn’t see it, or they said how sorry they were. 

That’s not enough time. 

Oh I wish you had more time. 

Only a few days? I’m sorry honey. 

But Steve had never been upset about it. Sure, he only had less than a week with his soulmate, but that only meant that their time was more treasured. They understood that they had to make every second count. 

Wasn’t that a good thing? 

“You’ll understand someday, Steven,” His mother had said quietly into her wine glass one night when it was just the two of them at home. She was sitting on the couch, flipping through their photo album idly, holding Steve hostage with stories about how good things used to be. How in love his parents were, once upon a time. How happy they used to be before the job, before the promotion, before the big house in Loch Nora. 

(They really mean before they had him. Not that either of his parents will ever admit that) 

“You’ll understand,” She repeated in a whisper, taking another long sip. 

“What will I understand?” Steve replied. Usually he tried to stay as still and silent as possible on nights like these, did his best to pretend like he didn’t exist, waiting for her to finally wave a hand and release him to his room. But this time he didn’t get it. 

“You’ll understand that this? This is a curse,” She spat out, holding up her right arm and showing him her timer. All zeroes. His mother’s soulmate had died when he was ten, but her timer had counted down. She had met him at some point in her life though. She knew him, but she hadn’t lived a life with him. Whoever he was, he had died alone.  

Steve had always wondered about that, always wanted to ask. If she knew who her soulmate was, why not be with them? If she had found that person, why not make every second count? 

“It’s a curse,” His mother had said, continuing when Steve didn’t say anything in response, finishing what was left in her glass, “Especially yours. I remember the first time I saw your timer. It was right after you were born. I was holding you against me, you were so little then, so sweet, and I looked down, and I saw it. Five days. What kind of God would only give my baby five days? Not a good one,”

Steve wasn’t exactly sure what kind of God was out there. If he was being fully honest, he wasn’t sure he believed in God at all. 

He believed….in the universe. He believed in something linking them all, something that knew them and wanted them to find the person that completed their lives. The Universe knew that Steve and his soulmate were strong enough to handle five days, four hours, and twenty two minutes. That unnamed unexplained universe knew that they would know what to do with that time. 

Steve had plans for his five days, four hours, and twenty two minutes. 

When he found that person, the first thing he was going to do was hold them for at least five of those minutes. Steve loved hugs, and his parents hated them, but his soulmate would love them too. He knew that for sure. 

So a five minute hug, and then he’d ask where they wanted to go. The two of them would travel to wherever his soulmate wanted. Steve had the money, he’d been saving every single birthday and Christmas check he had gotten since he was nine. By now, it was more than enough for two tickets to anywhere in the world. 

They would spend the whole plane ride talking and getting to know each other. They would laugh, probably a little too loudly, and annoy everyone else around them with how infatuated they were with each other. 

Maybe they’d go to Paris. Stroll through the city, eat pastries, stuff like that. Maybe they would end up in some remote part of the world where it felt like they were the only two people on the planet.

Maybe they’d just stay in Hawkins. Hole up in his house, listen to records, swim in the pool, or lie in bed all day. 

A hug, possibly a trip, and after that it was up to his soulmate. Steve wasn’t going to monopolize their five days with just his ideas. He had a bunch of suggestions if they didn’t know what they wanted, but those were the only two things he really cared about. 

He didn’t hug his soulmate when they finally laid eyes on each other. Steve didn’t even realize his timer had started counting down. 

He was too busy thinking about the broken bottle being held against his neck. 

By the time he and Eddie both realized that their timers had started, they were already in the thick of things. Steve had seen it while Nancy was wrapping her sweater around his waist to try and stem some of the blood coming gushing out of him from the bat bites. He had put both hands in his hair just to try and give himself some other pain to ground with, and his timer caught his eye. 

It was already on three days. 

He had only met one new person in the last two days. One new person who always hid his timer under a leather cuff around his wrist. 

Steve did go through with his plans, but it was a funhouse mirror version of them, twisted and wrong. 

They did hug, but it wasn’t something soft or intimate. Eddie had woken Steve up from a nightmare on their second to last day, and Steve had laid in his arms shaking for two of their final forty eight hours. 

They did go on a trip of sorts, if stopping the apocalypse in an alternate dimension counted as a trip. They went, but they didn’t stay together. 

God, if Steve had a chance to do it all over again, he never would have let Eddie out of his sight. 

There was no avoiding fate, no changing what The Universe had planned. Steve has always been aware of that. He’s known that as fact his entire life. But still. Maybe things would have gone the way they were supposed to if they had been together. 

Because it was supposed to be him that died. 

His entire life he had known it was going to be him. 

Steve has imagined it a thousand different ways. A random heart attack, or a freak accident, maybe even saving his soulmate’s life somehow. He had never even thought to consider it might be his soulmate saving him instead. 

It was perfect. Dustin and Eddie would be far away from the danger, and Robin and Nancy were going to be just fine. Steve had no idea when it was coming, but it was going to happen in this final fight. They would win and he would have to do something stupid to make sure they did. Something off plan that would end up killing him. 

Except, he didn’t do anything that wasn’t in the plan. 

It went off without a hitch. Well, there was a pretty scary moment where there had been vines around his neck choking him, but the rest had gone exactly as they wanted it too. He and Robin had torched the monster, and then Nancy shot him in the head. 

Vecna was dead, burning to ash on the floor in front of them. They did it. They actually fucking did it. 

The elation of that was unlike anything Steve had ever experienced. The bone deep relief of knowing everyone he loved was finally safe, that this was finally over. That he had somehow lived to get to see it all. 

He had lived. 

He…..he was still alive. 

Steve hadn’t even thought to look down at his timer. He had been so busy just reacting, being in the moment of the fight. The fight was over. They had won. Everyone was safe now. 

Steve was still alive. 

He looked at his timer. All zeroes. 

How long had it been all zeroes? 

Steve took an experimental breath, and then another. Still breathing. Still alive. He looked down at his wrist. Still all zeroes. It was like he was looking at a puzzle with only one piece left, holding that last piece in his hand, but unable to make it fit for some reason. There was just something that was so wrong. 

There were two options when it came to Timers. You died, and your timer vanished, or your timer hit zero, and your soulmate died. There were two options. 

Steve had just never considered the other one. 

And by the time he ran out of the Creel House, it was already too late. Steve knew that. He was running anyway. He wouldn’t believe it until he saw Eddie for himself. His mother’s voice filled his ears the entire time. 

“You’ll understand that this? This is a curse,” 

Steve had promised himself he would never think about his timer that way. Promised that he would never be like his mother. 

But she might have been right about this. 

[clouduru-chan]

Well I decided to write something about some yanderes, well I'm kind of new to this, so sorry for any mistakes, well in the Brazilian yandere community, we usually write headcanons of some characters, as well as realizing that there were no headcanons for some characters here on Tumblr, I decided to write a little about them.

Yandere reacting to reader who cosplays

Monika

- Well, you have only been dating a short time, and she knew that you loved to watch anime, series and Doramas, read some manga and light novels or play some video games, and since you know her well, you call her to watch something that involves romance;

- But something caught you off guard, when you simply showed up at the meeting with the cosplay of a romance anime you like to watch with your girlfriend;

- You did it because it might please your beautiful girlfriend;

- you cosplayed Kaguya Shinomiya from Kaguya Sama wa kokurasetai;

- Well you just wanted to surprise her, and Monika rather liked that, and with that she pours sweet kisses all over your face, and you turn into a blushing mess;

- You get a little clumsy around your girlfriend, so you don't get into the role of Kaguya too much;

- Monika loves how Kaguya Sama's school uniform dress looks perfect on you;

- Well you have been doing character cosplays for quite a while now, so it would be nice if your girlfriend knew about it;

- Well Monika realized at first that this was not the first cosplay, as it was very well done;

- When you stopped being embarrassed by the situation, you decided to act like the character you had cosplayed;

- Monika laughed a lot at your performances, because you were able to get perfectly into the role of the character;

- She loved the work you did just for her, you had so much love and dedication to it, she feels sweet, she will one day repay that;

Ayano Aishi

- She was waiting for you outside your room, but out of nowhere she feels caught, she feels your hands on her thighs and back, you had picked her up;

- This yandere turned extremely red when you did this, and when she looked at you, you were in costume;

- You were cosplaying Yuji Itadori from Jujutsu kaisen;

- The two of you kind of decided to hang out together at the comic con, to tell you the truth, you were the one who urged her to go to the event;

- At the event, you were holding hands the whole time;

- Ayano wasn't in cosplay, since she didn't see much point in it, but so that people wouldn't look down on her for not wearing something from pop culture, you lent her your Attack on Titan freedom wings sweatshirt;

- Ayano was extremely happy and flushed with this gesture, it will be a little difficult for her to return the sweatshirt to you, as she will place it on her altar with other of her belongings;

- At the event, many people came up to you to compliment the cosplay, but until one person came up, making a reference to the anime:

" What is your type of woman"

Ayano grimaced at that, why ask such a personal and stupid question?

She hadn't understood the reference, so you got into character.

"My kind of woman? My kind of woman is tall and big-butt, just like my girlfriend Ayano Aishi! He then points to the dark-haired girl.

Congratulations you have made this yandere extremely clueless.

Alan Orion

- Alan had arranged for you to go out into the forest, since he had a surprise for you;

- But you had an appointment, so you told him you were going to be a little late, of course he was annoyed by this, what was more important than him?!;

- Well you had to go to an anime event that was going to be held at the gym, a lot of people who like pop culture went there, so obviously to show your work, so you went in cosplay;

- The cosplayer you did was Rem from Re: Zero kara Hajimeru Isekai Seikatsu;

- After the event, you were in a hurry to go see your boyfriend, because you knew he had been upset with you for changing the appointment time;

- By this time you hadn't even taken off the accessories you were wearing to make the cosplay, so you go straight into the forest to see that man;

- When you arrived, Alan was sitting with his back to you, and as soon as you approached him, your boyfriend's heterochromatic eyes sparkled with admiration; he thought you were late just to get ready like that just for him;

- Well, his intention when he called you was to fuck you hard in the forest, to get you addicted to his cock, but seeing you dressed like that made him hard right away;

- You kind of won't feel your legs for a week anymore;

Sunny day Jack

- Jack was wondering why you were taking so long in the room;

- He was intrigued in what you were doing, as this ghost was curious of what your Sunshine was doing, so he opened the door to your room;

- When he was going to ask how you were, he looked at you, you were wearing strange clothes, wearing a pink wig and contact lenses of the same color, as well as a well-made makeup over your face, making you look very effeminate;

- You jumped when he saw you cosplaying Astolfo from Fate: Apocrypha;

- Well, you decided to step into the role of the character, just to tease Jack for breaking into your room;

"Oh! So you are my master?! Then I will introduce myself! For it is very important to speak my real name! So, my name is Astolfo! One of the twelve paladins of Charles Magno! It's a pleasure" you played the role of getting all excited, quickly approaching the blue-haired man.

" What about yours?" You had a huge smile on your face, you had really gotten into character, Jack was impressed, even though he didn't understand the reference he quite liked it, especially the master part.

- Jack picks you up and puts you on the bed, he would give you lots of love, because as you said, he was your master;

[stargirlie25]

Me through reading all the ACOTAR books.

ACOTAR: Ew Nesta and Elain are so annoying. This is going to be the best series, Feyre is such a baddie! Awww feylin so cute! DAMN LUCIENNN. I know she ends up with Rhysand but im not vibing with him......how can ACOMAF excuse this?

ACOMAF: Ohk feysands kinda cute but i dont think we can justify all that....Oooooo Cassian and azrielllllll! Awww i hope Mor and Azriel gets a book! *Goes to tiktok and finds out mor is gay* damn Azriel.OMG I LOVE NESTA NOWW PERIOD POP OFF SIS MY QUEENNN. Elain is there too. Ooooo Nessian. Elain and Azriel? I mean as long as its not mor! NAHHH GIRL DONT U DARE BLAME LULU BLAME TAMLIN! OMG ELAIN AND LUCIEN???

ACOWAR: Feyre isnt really feyre-ing any more :(.OH HELL NO SCREW IANTHE NO WAY YOU DID THAT TO MY MANSSS!!! MY POOR LULUUU Why feyre lowkey being such a bitach?

Awww Elucien is so tender! LUCIEN AS A MATE AWWEEEE. Damn Nessian making me sqeual. Lucien went away to find the queen from elains vision! OMG. CASSIAN IS SOOO FINEEEE, elriel is lowkey getting boring....Why is she disrespecting tarquin? He has ALL rights to be upset. Ok tamlin in the HL meeting is being pretty annoying and doing nothing but feyre did nothing as well but NESTA ARCHERON THE WOMAN YOU ARE!!!!! WTHHH HELION AND LUCIEN??????? OMG the war!!! NO THE SURIELLL. THE BONE CARVER NOOOO THE WITCH LADY I FORGOT HER NAME BUT NOOOOOO. THE ELAIN. THE FEYRE. THE NESTA. Omg i have no regrets in my life but this.Damn Nessian ur hurting me. NOOO papa arhceron diedddddddddddd. Damn Ok Elain and Nesta king slayers! Oh rhysand died........i know damn well he gonna come back......´´Be happy feyre´´ bawling. Omggg Lucien was besties with papa archeron???? THE ONLY FATHER FIGURE HE HADDDD DAMN WHY ISNT FEYRE TELLING LUCIEN?? Awww lucien and feyre hug! Cass and feyre are cute but i miss the og´s! Ok girl you flying.

ACOFAS: Snoring. YALL ARE CUTE BUT IM BOREDDD AS HELL. Ok literally no one asked for this Mor pov. Wait why did Elain invite lulu if she is uncomfortable around him? Her power? Elriel kinda gave me brother and sister but i guess elain likes him now.....HI EMERIE IVE HEARD ABT YOUUUUU!!! I just want my girl Nesta, feyre u are not feyreing.

ACOSF: I love nesta so much!!!!!!! Cassian is acting like Rhysands frikcing dog. I hate amren soo much. WHY is Elain acting like shes the victim like nesta told you to leave and now you crying?? Girl you are 23 years old! Ok respect azriel has never disrespected my Nesta. Aw nesta gwyn and emeries friendship is the best one yet!!!!!! Azriel is starting to show an actual personality.....With Gwyn? Okay Gwynriel is so cuteee *sees elucien and gwynriel theories* 100% on board with this!!!!! DAMN the Valkyries! I am so excited for all the other girls to tag along! Just imagine a MOB of nesta gwyn and emerie!!! Eris? HELLL YAHHHHHHH VANSERRAS FOR LIFEEEEEE!!!! YOU ARE TELLING ME CASSIAN DID NOT SAY I LOVE YOU ONCE? Of course nesta lost her powers and she obviously lost them for the sake of the main characters that im bored of :(

ACOA (A court of Azriel): You got her a rose flower......because she likes flowers??? Why is this man so insecure about his hands around her? That cant be right......MISTAKE? THANKYOU RHYSAND FOR STOPPING THIS MADNESS! Wow he just wanted to F**k her and thats it? WTH is Gwyn doing here? Ok creepy Azriel is gone and this new azriel is here? Aweee he is actually kinda cutie now and he is laughing? HE SINGS???? OMG SHE SINGS THO! His shadows singing and dancing with her??? Cuteeeeeee, Ok so he gave the necklace to clotho to give to gwyn, thats cute she does in fact deserve something beautiful like that but why Elains? Ig its the though that counts. SPARKED IN HIS CHEST???? THATS ROWAELIN/NESSIAN LANGUAGE!!!! HOW does her picture it proper?? Glowing and secret? Where the hell did he tuck the image bruhhh?

A thing of secret lovely beauty. AHHHHHHHH clotho and the shadows are team Gwynriel for sure! Gwynriel are sooo mates tho and i hate Elriel with every fiber in my being. How did azriel go from mr. creep to mr. melts my heart?

After finishing: Wow everybody on tiktok are elriels. They are so confident elriel is endgame? Hmmmm but none of their points make sense but i cant explain in a comment section! Maybe Gwynriel and Elucien isnt endgame :(

*Downloads tumblr*

Gwynriel and Eluciens on tumblr have their freaking masters degree DAMN

[ashwhowrites]

hi! could I please request billy hargrove x fem! reader with 17 and 31 from the angst list combined with 1 and 20 from the flufff list? 🫶

“I hope you’re happy.”

“You broke me! You ruined everything we had and- for what?”

“You look really good in my clothes”

"I'm so proud of you"

I miss Billy :( I hope this is what you wanted. Not proofread :)

Billy Hargrove did not do relationships, never has and he never planned to. He wanted to live his life inside a different girl every day. The second someone gets too attached he'd cut them off, harshly.

One thing that was different for Billy was that he had an actual friend, maybe even a best friend. And more of a surprise was that it was a girl.

Y/N was new to the school, fresh meat for the boys to sink their claws into. She quickly became the locker room talk for the basketball team. All wondering who was going to taste the new girl first. Billy took the challenge personally, vowing he'd show them how it was done.

Only his plan backfired and he found himself being her friend, not that he'd tell anyone that. Billy didn't have friends either.

But he couldn't lie, she made his life better. The night she slept over for the first time, Billy couldn't believe he had a girl in his bed and didn't even fuck her. And he wasn't upset about it.

~~

Billy still slept with girls, still was the talk of the girls locker room and Y/N had to act unbothered by it all. Act like she secretly wasn't falling in love with her best friend.

She knew Billy was not a relationship guy, she learned that right away but she had a small hope that she could be the one to change him.

One night she really thought she did.

~~

It was stupid, they both knew that. They were looking at each other the way they weren't supposed to. She confessed how she felt for him, admitting she had a crush on him and she felt like it was growing into something more.

One thing leads to another and she found herself under Billy, moaning and screaming. Kissing, and touching as the night went on. Billy felt like his body was on fire, and he liked it. He liked the way she looked underneath him as he pounded into her. The way her lips formed around her moans. The way her body reacted to him. The way his body reacted to her.

Once they woke up the reality hit them cold in the face. She felt his arm wrapped around her which wasn't new, but the part of her being naked was. When Billy realized he was holding her he quickly let go, moving out of bed to get ready for the school day. She tried not to look at his back, fresh scratches that lingered down to his ass. She gulped as he bent over to put on boxers, looking away quickly to get up herself.

She was definitely not going to make it to school on time if she ran home. But Billy offered her a shirt and a ride to school. She changed into his shirt and tried not to blush when his cologne lingered on the material.

“You look really good in my clothes” now she couldn't hide that blush. Her face heated immediately as she looked over at his blue eyes. His face lit up with a smile. She gave a shy nod and smiled, practically running to his car.

~~

The rest of the day was awkward, neither knew how to bring it up.

A part of her was embarrassed for giving in so quickly and the other part was hurt because he never said anything about his feelings for her.

She confessed and they fucked. But he never said if he felt anything for her too.

Turns out she didn't have to wait long to find out.

~~

Billy was stuck. His best friend admitted she had feelings for him, feelings that continued to grow. He should have given his brain time to think. Think about how he felt about her. He knew he liked her but wanting a relationship? That was something different.

But her showing up in his clothes and riding together spread fast.

He got looks all throughout the day. Girls burning with jealousy and guys high fiving him as he passed. He knew why. Because of that stupid comment he made about vowing to get her into bed. But last night wasn't because of the guys in the locker room. It was because he felt this sudden urge to feel her skin. He never felt like he'd die if he didn't kiss someone. And kissing her was the best feeling he's felt in years.

"Billy my man. Look who finally did it. Was that like three months of being her little friend?"

"shut up Tommy." Billy spat, shoving his books in his locker. Something he didn't do three months ago until she forced him to study and actually do his homework. She's been coming over every night helping him with his final essay that determines if he can make it into college. Make it out of Hawkins and maybe back to California where he was happy.

"what? You guys totally fucked. It's obvious." Tommy said as he wiggled his eyebrows

"Billy! I hear you totally smashed Y/n, about time. How was it? Is she nuts like we all thought? Good mouth? How tight is she?"

Billy felt like he needed to throw up. The way they talked about her was wrong. He's done it before, talked just this way about his recent hookups but it felt wrong knowing it was about her. He didn't want any other guys to know how she was in bed. How good her mother felt, and it felt good. He didn't want anyone to experience how tight she was, just him.

"yeah Billy, how tight was I?"

He felt his blood run cold. He swore to himself, scared to turn around. He didn't get the chance to run when she grabbed his arm and turned him around.

The shirt was a reminder of the night they shared, a night he planned to do again and again. Right after he confessed the way he felt for her. But the tears in her eyes and the murderous look she was giving, he thinks he kissed his shot goodbye.

"Y/N it wasn't like that " he tried to say but a slap to his face caught him off guard. If it was any other girl that dared to slap him he'd be pissed, nose flaring as he threatened her. But he felt like he deserved this slap, almost like he deserved even more.

"I hope you're happy." She scoffed as she turned down the hall. Not once looking at him when he screamed after her.

"Yikes Billy. Looks like you pissed her off."

Tommy's words turned into a grunt when Billy punched him square in the face. Marching off to follow her.

"JUST WAIT!" he screamed one last time, this time she turned around. The halls clearing as the bell rang but neither moved.

"what Billy?" She sighed. He hated that she was crying. He wasn't supposed to make her cry.

"I know how it sounds and looks but I promise it isn't what it seems."

"really? Because it seems like you and your friends have been dying to see how I was in bed. And you were the lucky winner that got to find out! I can't believe I even believed for a second you liked me too. I watch you go through girl after girl. Hearing how you talk about them like their purpose is just for your pleasure. I was so fucking stupid to admit I liked you. I should have never said a word. You just soaked it up into your big ego. Probably just waiting for me to confess so you could swoop in and fuck me? You broke me! You ruined everything we had and- for what? Impress your boys? Whatever friendship we had, is fucking over. Don't ever talk to me again."

Billy watched as she raced down the hall, rushing into the bathroom.

He knew he fucked up and wasn't sure if this was something he could fix. Billy didn't know how to fix things, he only knew how to destroy things.

~~

Billy respected her wishes the best he could. Sparing glances to her day after day but she never looked back.

Even if she wasn't there, he still studied and remembered her words of encouragement as he wrote his essay. He needed to get out of Hawkins. This was his only chance and he didn't put in this much work to just give up.

~~

Graduation was days away and the grade of his essay was making its way to his hands.

He finished the last of it by himself. Y/N still refused to talk to him. Even months after their fallout Billy knew he still liked her, maybe even loved her. He learned new things about himself. He stopped sleeping with girls. It never felt right after he touched her. Like his hands and body were imprinted by her and it wasn't right to touch someone else with it. He worked on himself. Gave up the parties and endless bottles of alcohol. Max even gave him the time of day, slowly becoming actual siblings. Even when Y/N wasn't around her impact was still lifting his life out of hell.

But when he saw his grade in his essay he felt a real smile on his face. He felt proud of himself. He got home to see the acceptance letter to California on the kitchen table, max smiling and cheering as he opened it.

He was finally going to make it out, but he knew he was missing something. Her.

~~

Billy pounded at her door. Refusing to leave until he made things right with her.

"Billy what are you doing?" She sighed, still not enjoying the sight of his perfect blue eyes and perfect hair.

"Something I needed to do months ago. I'm sorry I promise I didn't sleep with you because of the stupid basketball team. I really fucking like you and I liked you when you told me you had feelings for me. I'm not used to words so I jumped to actions. I'm not sure why but having sex with you felt way more special than with anyone. I haven't even thought of any other girl since you. I want you and I want to be with you. I know I don't deserve you but I want to try to be just a percentage of worth it. I'm in love with you and if you still love me, can we give this a shot?" He raced out in one breath. Now the anxiety settling in when all his words caught up with him. He's never been this honest in his life. He could easily lose the best thing in his life and he'd have to accept that.

"Did you get in?" He didn't expect that to be what she asked.

"what?"

"to California, did you get into college?" She asked, arms crossed. He hated that she had no emotion.

"um yeah this morning. Why?" He was confused.

"because I'm not going to tell the guy I'm hopelessly in love that I got into California as well unless I knew he was coming with me."

"wait what?" He smiled. She's going to California?

"I love you too idiot. And I appreciate your apology. I'm proud of you. For keeping up with the essay, getting in college, and finally getting your head out of your ass." She laughed.

He rolled his eyes but his smile gave him away.

"can I kiss you now?" He asked, stepping closer to her and cupping her jaw.

She nodded with a smile and he leaned in. Kissing her the way he's been craving to since she told him to fuck off.

Billy was going to make it out and he was making it out with her. He's never been this excited to live.

[mellowmadds]

Candy Hearts | Ricky Bowen

ricky bowen/fem!reader oneshot

fluff :)

summary: attending camp shallow lake wasn’t your ideal summer plan. however getting to spend a few weeks of summer alone with your boyfriend Ricky seemed to make all your nerves and anxiety ridden thoughts disappear.

warnings: anxiety/anxious reader, sad reader, shy reader, ricky bowen has adhd

word count: 3076

⁺˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧͙⁺˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧͙⁺˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧͙

Attending camp shallow lake wasn’t exactly how you wanted to be spending your summer, but here you are packing all your essentials. It wasn’t that you didn’t want to be spending a few weeks of summer vacation with your best friends and almost too caring boyfriend, it’s just that your anxiety usually got the best of you. As you’re trying your best to fit everything into a small duffle bag that Ricky had let you borrow, your mother gently leaned against the frame of your bedroom door.

“Don’t forget your eyeglass cleaner, I know it bothers you even if it’s just a small smudge.” Your mother laughed while walking forward handing you the eyeglass cleaner and a small cloth.

“Thanks mom.” You said while trying to force a smile onto your face.

“What’s wrong Y/n? I can tell when you’re upset so don’t try to hide it.” Your mother stated as she sat down on your bed and grabbed the teddy bear that always sat on your pillow.

“Just nervous. I don't understand why you’re making me go.” Trying your best to not let the tears that filled your eyes spill down your face.

“Because this will be a good experience for you. Your friends will be by your side the entire time, you know Kourtney will be there for you. She understands how you feel so don’t worry she will take care of you. Besides, isn't Ricky also going to be there?” She was right, you knew that Kourt will always and forever be there for you, that's just the kind of person she is. As you looked back up at your mom she had a smirk on her face as she tightly held the teddy bear Ricky had gotten you a while back. You took the teddy bear from her arms and threw it on the pile of clothes you started folding so you could pack them into the duffle bag.

“No mother would ever be this happy that their daughter is spending a few weeks of summer vacation alone with her boyfriend, not to mention camp is also a few hours away from home.” As you stood up grabbing some more clothes to fold your mother also stood up and pulled you into a hug.

“That’s because I’m not like a regular mom, I’m a cool mom.” She said trying her best to keep a straight face.

“Okay enough with the mean girls quotes, but sure you're the coolest mom in the world.” You said hugging her back trying your best not to be so anxious about going off to camp.

Finishing up packing wasn’t the easiest trying to fit everything you were taking into that small duffle bag was a challenge however you did succeed without breaking the zipper. You were going to carpool with Kourtney, EJ, Ashlyn, and Carlos since Ricky was helping Big Red at the pizza place and was going to drive Big Red’s car to camp later on tonight. As you waited for EJ’s car to arrive you said your goodbyes to your mother and tried your best to look excited even though deep down you were a nervous wreck. EJ’s car finally pulled into your driveway making your heart skip a beat knowing there's no turning back now, you have no other choice than to attend camp. While throwing your bag in the trunk you hear Gina fighting over who gets to control the music.

“Wait so how are we all supposed to fit?” You laughed while Gina pulled you onto her lap and pushed your glasses up for you.

“Well hello to you too Y/n.” Gina laughed while trying to act as if she was hurt over you not expecting her to be in the car. Of course she wasn’t actually hurt. Gina had become the one friend who gave you the confidence you so desperately needed and the two of you grew closer since you knew she’d never judge you for being yourself. As everyone got settled into the car Gina turned the music back on and ‘Hopelessly Devoted’ from the movie Grease started playing through the loudspeakers and everyone sang along. Gina grabbed your cheeks as you scrunched up your nose as she sang the lyrics ‘But now there’s nowhere to hide’ then Carlos dramatically laid his arm on his forehead and leaned back into you and Gina as he sang the ‘Since you pushed my love aside’ lyric. The whole car ride was full of laughter and singing which made you think maybe camp would be fun. As you guys arrived at camp a girl named Maddox held out a bucket labeled ‘cell phones’ everyone placed their phones into the bucket while talking amongst themselves while you tightly held onto your phone and asked if this was a mandatory type of thing unfortunately it was and everyone had to give up all electronics.

“Camp Shallow Lake has a no electronics allowed policy in place so all campers can enjoy our activities and enjoy the outdoors, it’s only for a couple of weeks you’ll be fine.” Maddox spoke quietly to you as if she noticed how nervous you were. You gently placed your phone into the bucket taking one last look at your lock screen which was just a picture of Ricky holding the teddy bear he gifted you.

Walking towards the girls cabin Kourtney tried her best to make small talk with you as the rest of the girls walked in front of you guys.

“Please at least try to have a little bit of fun, I promise I’m not going anywhere I’ll be by your side the entire time.” She gave you a lighthearted smile and gave you a side hug as you both walked to the door of the cabin.

“Well this is certainly a choice” Kourtney laughed while pointing out every small detail she hated about the cabin.

“Save yourself the time and don’t even step one foot in the bathroom if you think the main room is horrid.” Gina chimed in with a disgusted look on her face while Kourtney covered her mouth with her hand and pretended to gag.

While the girls chatted among themselves you started fixing one of the bottom bunks claiming it as your own. While trying to unpack all the thoughts of having to stay here for a couple of weeks instead of peacefully sleeping in the comfort of your own home filled your brain. Trying to hide your discomfort you told the girls you were going to go for a walk and would be back later on.

“You guys think she’ll be alright and eventually get used to it?” Ashlyn asked worriedly, she had always looked out for you even if you two weren’t the closest of friends.

“I doubt it Y/n has never liked being away from home. It took her months to be able to sleep the entire night at my house when we were younger. She won’t even sleepover at Ricky’s even though Mr. Bowen doesn’t care.” Kourtney explained to the girls while Carlos quietly entered the cabin and joined in on the conversation.

“Y/n doesn’t look like she’s having any fun. I just passed her on the way here and she didn’t even look at me when I asked where she was going.” Carlos told the girls while giving them a sad expression.

“Wait, she really won’t sleep over at Ricky’s house?” Gina asked shockingly.

“Big Red may or may not have told me that Ricky thinks his ADHD and outgoing personality is too much for Y/n to handle.” Ashlyn chimed back into the conversation.

“Are Y/n and Ricky really having problems?” Carlos questioned Kourtney hoping she would spill every single drop of tea.

“Y/n just struggles with really bad anxiety and this is probably the last place she wants to be right now. They aren’t having problems but it just takes Y/n a while to become fully comfortable. Also Ricky has no room to talk because he is constantly getting Y/n in trouble at school for the stupid things he does like skateboarding down the dead silent hallways with Y/n trailing behind him dragging his backpack on the floor trying to get him to stop. Ricky doesn’t exactly help Y/n when it comes to her anxiety, he just makes it worse.” Kourtney says with a straight face.

“So you’re confirming that what Ricky told Big Red is correct?” Ashlyn asked Kourtney with a confused look.

“Ricky just needs to realize that Y/n struggles with being in unfamiliar places and becoming close with people. She trusts Ricky, she just needs more time to get comfortable.” Kourtney explained.

Everyone decided to stop questioning Kourtney because she seemed to be done with the conversation and decided to finish unpacking and talk about the activities happening tonight.

“Hey Y/n I’m sorry but you can’t be over here we have to start setting up for the campfire.” EJ stated while giving Y/n a small smile.

“Sorry rocketman.” EJ glared at you.

“Please don’t call me that absolutely nobody knows my camp nickname yet I’m not ready to be made fun of the entire trip.” EJ laughed. “The girls have been looking for you, you should head back and get ready for the campfire.”

“Sorry if I worried anyone, I was just trying to clear my head.” You explained and gave EJ a wave goodbye while you walked back in the direction of the girls cabin.

When you got back to the cabin none of the girls were there so you took the time to try your best to relax and find an outfit to wear to the campfire since it was going to get cold tonight. Time passed and eventually all the girls came back to the cabin with blankets to stay warm next to the campfire. Gina handed you a fluffy light blue blanket and asked if everyone was ready to start heading out. While the girls headed to the campfire Ricky finally arrived and decided to head to the boys cabin to unpack. While Ricky was unpacking in the boys cabin he quickly made friends with a kid named Jet who finally agreed to come to the campfire with Ricky after some convincing. Before heading out Ricky grabbed the candy hearts he bought earlier and quickly made his way to the campfire with Jet.

“Am I late!” Ricky yelled over EJ’s horrible singing.

“You always know how to make an appearance, Bowen.” Carlos shook his head laughing while getting up from his spot next to Y/n so Ricky could take a seat next to you. EJ continued to sing while everyone watched him and made weird faces.

“Hey love” Ricky quietly greeted you while you let him take half of the blanket. You gave him a soft smile not wanting to interrupt EJ again.

You and the girls have been sharing a bag of twizzlers when out of the blue Ricky reaches and grabs one.

“Absolutely not Bowen go get your own.” Kourtney snaps at him. She had never really been fond of Ricky but tolerates him because you love him for some reason. You looked over at Kourtney while taking the twizzler from Ricky and placing it back in the bowl. Carlos seemed to be the only one to notice your obvious discomfort and sadness that Kourt snapped at Ricky for no reason. Instead of fighting with her Ricky shrugged his shoulders and decided it wasn’t worth it to start an argument, he knew Y/n wouldn’t like that.

“Here” Ricky said while handing you a candy heart that had ‘I <3 you’ written on it. You looked up at him and gave him another smile when he started leaning in you turned to lay your head on his shoulder. The rest of the campfire was filled with laughter and happy memories being made. Although you didn’t talk to Kourtney the rest of the time you still enjoyed your time with your other friends. Eventually the campfire ended and since it was getting late everyone decided it was time to head back to the cabins and get ready for bed. Everyone said their goodbyes. You gave Ricky a hug and said goodnight to him and walked back to the girls cabin with Ashlyn while EJ and the rest of the camp directors stayed behind to clean up.

“Are you okay Y/n? Kourt shouldn't have snapped like that.” Ashlyn asked before entering the cabin.

“Yeah I’m alright I know she doesn’t like him it’s okay.” You said back shrugging your shoulders. Ashlyn just nodded and gave you a tight hug before the both of you headed inside the cabin. It was getting late and everyone was tired so you rushed getting ready for bed so the girls could shut the lights and go to sleep. Some time had passed and everyone had already fallen asleep no matter what you could not fall asleep it felt as if your breathing was getting heavier with every passing minute and no matter what you could not get comfortable instead you were tossing and turning every second. Realizing you weren’t going to get any sleep you grabbed one of your hoodies and made your way over towards the boys cabin. You don’t know where the courage came from. Maybe it was because you were tired or because Kourtney made you mad but you twisted the doorknob to the boys cabin and walked in like you owned the place. Of course the boys were still awake. It was only Ricky, Carlos and Jet since EJ was still cleaning up the campground. Ricky quickly jumped from his top bunk and pulled you into a tight hug.

“Hey Y/n are you okay what happened?” Ricky asked, letting go and looking at you.

“I just couldn’t sleep and Kourt isn’t really being the nicest person right now.” You admitted fidgeting with your hands and placing them in the pocket of your hoodie.

“You can stay here, come on take your shoes off.” Ricky said while taking one of the million pillows Carlos brought along with him.

“My pillows are the most comfortable they are made of-” Carlos was quickly cut off by you telling him thank you and Ricky turning the lights off as soon as he knew you made it safely onto the top bunk. Ricky quickly climbed back into bed and gently pulled you closer to him and wrapped his arms around you. Although this was new for you guys to be sleeping in the same bed you felt comfortable and played with the end of his t-shirt while you slowly drifted off to sleep. Unfortunately that didn’t last long because no more than an hour later the lights were being turned on by a very already pissed off EJ.

“Carlos candles are not allowed in the cabins!” He quickly ran over to the candle and blew it out. EJ was taking his new camp job very seriously which everyone found hilarious.

“We were trying to sleep, shut the lights back off it’s late” Ricky said sitting up to face EJ.

“You guys were not sleeping Jet is playing that stupid video game and Carlos has his face misting thing on.” Carlos just rolled his eyes and continued to ignore EJ. As soon as Ricky sat up EJ saw you laying there next to him.

“Y/n get up you’re not allowed to sleep in here.” EJ said with an annoyed look on his face.

“Just go to sleep EJ nobody else cares, it’s not like we are going to do anything.” Ricky replied back.

“No Ricky it doesn’t matter I’m not getting in trouble for letting Y/n sleep in your bed. Come on Y/n get up I’ll walk you back to the girls cabin.” EJ was serious this time and wasn’t in the mood to joke around or let anything slide. Ricky was starting to get angry but before he could start a fight with EJ you started to quietly explain what was going on to EJ. It was hard for you to talk about your struggles with anxiety and explained that earlier in the day when you had talked to EJ because you were sitting where the campfire was being set up you told him it was because you were trying to clear your head and calm yourself down. After some more talking EJ finally agreed to let you stay and apologized for being an asshole. You accepted his apology, you knew he didn’t hate you and that he was just tired and wanted to go to sleep after a long day. Eventually morning came and the bright sun came shining through the windows. EJ was already up and gone getting the day started with the campers while Carlos was just heading out the door to go get some breakfast.

“Good Morning love” Ricky said while pulling you closer to him. He always called you some sort of name but love was always your favorite. You gave him a quick kiss and hugged him tight while he pulled the blanket up further so you were comfortable. However your sweet but short lived moment was only to be interrupted by the one and only Dewey Wood.

“I see not one but two violations in front of me.” Dewey stated while Jet quickly hid his gaming system under his blanket. Following his actions Ricky jokingly covered you with the blanket.

“Jet, why don’t you get up and go get some breakfast.” Dewey recommended and Jet followed his instructions not wanting to get his games taken away.

“Now that it’s just us, let's have a very nice detailed conversation about why this isn’t allowed.” Dewey said while gesturing his hands towards the two of you.

You may have not had the best first night at camp and while yes having ‘the talk’ with none other than Dewey Wood was intriguing yet embarrassing you had one of the best morning’s ever getting to spend time with Ricky brushing your teeth together while dancing to music on EJ’s record player and then getting to eat breakfast together pretending it was like a mini date. Ricky may be a lot to handle sometimes but he truly does take all your worries away and you couldn’t ask for a better boyfriend than Ricky Bowen.

[pinkvaquita]

So, Royal Mike already uploaded the videos of the new update. Aka, I can see what is going on because I don't have the game. And now that he uploaded all about the update, I want to make my opinion and analysis about Smoke Cheese cookie behaivor and actions before I start spilling all my crazy ideas of shipping him with Mozzarella.

All the screenshots from the game are from Royal Mike Chanel, and obviously spoilers under the cut

So, like. As we all see, Smoked Cheese escalated very quickly from "This is needed for the safety of the kingdom" to "GIVE ME ALL THE FUCKING POWER, NOW". And yeah, it could defenetly be seemed as terrible character writing from Devsis. But maybe my over-analysis make me encounter with something. Or a least gave a me a theory and personal headcanon.

I'm not a psychologist so maybe I'm wrong, but I have really strong suspicious about Smoked Cheese having narcisistic personality disorder and everyone in the kingdom interpreting it as him just being him.

His first intentions and ideas about the danger of not making a more direct move and almost not care enough about the return of Dark Enchantresss were not wrong. Golden Cheese was being reckless with those decisions.

And also, there is a moment were Golden Cheese scold him because she catched him treathening the protagonic gang. And he excuses himself saying that "anxiety got the best of him". And... Maybe it wasn't a total lie?

It could be that the errors becoming more prominent and, especially, the sudden news of Dark Enchantresss could have triggered a impulsive reaction of panic on him. Since the last time he heard from her, was when they all died. I said specially the last one because when Golden Cheese rejected his idea of torturing the protagonist, he got upset but aceppt it. But when she did the same thing about not taking a direct aproach to the possible attack, he finally showed his ideas of making a revolt.

He probably got scared that maybe story was gonna repet itself. And his fear showed more the more the idea got in his head and the more he watched Golden Cheese still was ignoring him.

And i think the probe to this is how he treated the errors, before finding about them being usefull in his plan to take the power, he rejected it and wanted to get ride of anything related to that. But when he realized that it could be a strong weapon, he was more than happy to keep many of them. Because the errors was something more easy to deal than Dark Enchantresss.

By the moment he finally got his plan on practice, he probably got in a mind state of: "Is now or never, this HAS to work. Or we are doomed", since in his mind it was that or waiting for getting killed again by an attack of any origin. Explaining why he got in this moment, well...

A bit too dramatic. And he even got more raw and impulsive when the plan wasn't working after stealling Golden Cheese soul jam. He was screaming and growling like a beast, and probably didn't curse because in the game is impossible.

So, adding to that. I also notice he does something really interesting.

He refletcs himself in others. For example, he said to Mozzarella that the her new tower was making her get things into her head, and also called not trustworthy even after her helping him.

And also, he described Golden Cheese as an arrogant and a brat. And he defenetly acted like that when he was defeated.

And well, all of this fits very well in the symptoms of a narcisistic person.

(this screenshots were taken by me)

Smoked Cheese showed many of this traits in his actions and words. The anger at his failed plans, the lack of ability to sympathize with our protagonic group, the fact that his plan of doing this was not something that got totally (just partially) rushed, the constant bickering with Mozzarella (untill she become his ally) and Burnt Cheese, the way he shows a lack of emotional inteligence, his manipulative way to twist things with his words, the way he enjoyed so much controlling something powerfull as the monsters, the desire of power and recognition. And how at the lack of this, he decided to get it himself.

He probably normaly is able to control himself a little, to care about others and not get carried on. Explaining why he said that alo of this was for the greater good. But then the despair of needing to feel his and his kingdom safe (and the lack of having a healthy coping mechanism) make him take desperate decisions. Leading predictebly to failure.

And that honestly sucks because yeah, his actions are not excusable, but that doesn't change that he had an actual good intention. But being mentally ill got him out of track.

[crookedkryptonitebeliever]

Okay no joke if I was Yves I’d be mad as hell too, like you chose this sloppy, forgetful man over HIM??? the same man that literally has your genetic sequence down to the allele by heart?? Knows all of your genetic information so well that it would put 23 and me to shame!! Not only that but like I think there was an ask about how an anon believes that Monty would’ve honestly attached himself to anyone who was just there at the right time meanwhile Yves’ love for his darling is entirely unique and under any circumstances he never feel this way for anyone else. Like UGH with Yves it’s literally all or nothing, if it’s no you, he doesn’t want it. But with Montgomery, if another person showed up he would’ve been acting the same with that person and not you!! Like his love isn’t “unique” I guess in a way.

Ooo I’d be so upset too. I wonder like has he ever at least THOUGHT about trying to do some technological fuckery to end the relationship between his darling and Montgomery? Like perhaps, doctor some text messages, do voice impersonations or create a voice impersonator so that he could make it seem like Monty was cheating on his darling, causing her to run into his arms. It would b EUREKA 💡 as f because he wouldn’t have to kill Monty bc he actually didn’t do it, and she’s no long with him. But RATS he probably wouldn’t want to bring that sort of pain onto his darling especially with the harsh feeling of betrayal, that can mentally scar someone for years, a feeling that Yves probably is quite familiar with :(.

Buttt at the same time we do have instances (such as if the reader was really old or suffering from terminal health issues) where he would lean more towards being selfish as long as you stay with him, so in certain circumstances he is selfish enough to let you go through pain as long as you’re with him. But dang now that I’m typing this, I’m like that’s probably not that good of a comparison, one’s a relationship and the other is your life.

Also he probably wouldn’t want to take away any of his darlings happiness either, but dang like what if it was something more subliminal maybe like you unconsciously hearing subliminal messages telling you to leave Monty and that all you need is Yves because he’s the only one that can make you truly happy Mann I don’t know 😔.

But at the same time I’m ngl!! I can kinda see why some of y’all like Monty. I think it was Chapter 39?? When he busted through the door of the house and essentially mollywhopped everyone. I was like wait,,, why is he kinda,,, I guess like some of the guilt of not being there for the reader coupled with what he heard was just enough to make him snap and go into a rage. And some people are probably more comfortable around someone who’s like Monty as compared to Yves.

But also like really quick! Does Monty have the same level of unconditional love as Yves? Like I think I remember reading somewhere that you could essentially try anything you want and Yves will NOT leave you, like he has permanently cemented himself to your side literally FOREVER like it’s almost cosmic in a way. I wonder if Monty has that same level of patience but in his own way.

Zhats enough of my unintelligible ramblings and questions, your last post really did it 4 me ooo I wanted to bite my phone!! Love your work!!!!!

the other ask in question

Holy fuckin shit anon thank u so much for ur thoughts i would love to hear moar feel free to ramble more in my asks!!1 these are the types of stuff that also keeps me going with my writing

also i got like newest installation where yves interacts with yan older bro

naw YVes wouldnt like paint monty as a cheater because the pain fuckin HURTS man, he would rather be cucked like indefinitely than let you go through the horrors of recovering from such betrayal, plus there is a chance that you get so hurt that you didn't want to be in a relationship anymore or even ASSOCIATED with men anymore, so Yves just shot himself in the foot

He's only selfish when it comes to keeping you with him, so too bad if you are facing horrors of the mind, you are getting revived

Yves is defnitely using the subliminal messages to his advantage. you would probably be all like "ewww" to Monty after the first few days, weeks if you're particularly into sad, dirty men. but true love can really work past that and there really isn't much he could do without devastating you

Oh yeah Monty's love is fr unconditional, if you are abusive to him, he will take it. Altho he would cry in secret, praying to god that you will one day change your ways and stop abusing him, he will never leave even if everyone around him tells him to. He would stay until he's dead or police actually caught you beating him into a pulp, but even then, he would say it was his fault for provoking you -- he would try everything in his power to get you out of trouble.

He isn't like YVes in a sense that he tries to change you, he will just beg pathetically and get fucked over and over without learning his lesson.

If you're dead, he's dead. Simple as. Nothing will get in the way of Monty's quest to be by your side as soon as possible.

thanx 4 reading my stuff anon ur analysis really made my day i love reading yalls thoughts

[phoenixexho]

a Buddie WIP for yall (for a bit of context, i wanted to include Pepa setting Eddie up on those dates so i wrote this as if the whole Ana thing took Marisol’s place):

He wasn’t sure why he called Hen. He only called her when Denny and Chris had plans which was not today. Usually Buck would be the person he’d go to in a situation like this, but he couldn’t shake the feeling that Hen was who he needed to talk to. And so he called.

“Hey, Eddie.” She answered, the confusion clear in her voice.

“Uhh Hi.”

“What’s going on? Is something wrong?”

“I broke up with Ana”

“Oh…” She stayed silent, waiting for him to speak.

“I’m sorry, I dont know why I called. I’ll just, I’ll talk to you at work tomorrow.”

“No no it’s fine! Why did you break up?” Her question was cautious. He understood why. Sure, they felt like family but not the kind of family you talk to about every little thing in your life. More like the kind you see only at large family gatherings; talk about your job and kids and call it good.

“I don’t know. I mean I do, I just…”

“It’s okay, Eddie.”

“I don’t think I ever liked her. Which is insane, she’s beautiful and Chris loves her. She’s good with him and she’s funny and she’s kind and I just…didn’t feel a thing.”

Hen stayed silent.

“I thought I would. I thought maybe if I gave it time, I would fall in love with her. I mean love at first sight doesn’t exist right? It takes time?” he could hear the desperation in his voice, hear himself begging for answers. He didn’t know what he even wanted to hear.

“It does,” she sighed, “sometimes it’s hard to figure out what you want, that takes time too. And it’s okay to take that time.”

“I know what I want. She’s everything I want and yet…” He trailed off, this was all so frustrating, he didn’t understand why he couldn’t just love her, “The idea of us felt so perfect.” It was true, everything he wanted in a woman had been there in Ana.

Hen was still silent; God why did he choose to call her, this has to be so awkward for her.

“Maybe I’m just not over Shannon, I don’t know, I felt ready.”

“That could be.” She paused sighing again. “Or maybe it’s something else?”

“Like?”

“Tell me about Shannon, how did you meet?”

Eddie was thrown for a loop by the sudden line of questioning but answered anyway, what harm could it do, “We had math class together in middle school.”

“Wow, that’s-you were so young.”

He laughed a little. “Yeah we were.”

“And how did you start dating?”

“We were best friends for years. Then summer before our senior year, she asked me on a date. And I thought why not? I loved spending time with her and she made me happy.”

“Why not?” he could practically see her expression through the phone, raised eyebrows and a smile in her eyes, like she knew something he didn’t.

“I liked her. I just didn’t realize it at first. There was no other girls I thought about, it was just her and the idea of having her around for my entire life made me feel warm and safe.”

Hen hummed gently. “Eddie, that-that doesn’t necessarily sound like romantic love.”

“What? She was my wife of course I loved her.”

“I’m not saying that sweetie.” She still sounded so cautious, like she was talking to an upset child. Why was she being so careful with him?

“What are you saying?”

“Can I ask you more questions before I explain?”

“Uhhh sure?”

“Did you and Ana sleep together?”

“What?”

“You don’t have to answer, really I don’t want to know but I’m trying to help.”

“No, um, it’s fine. I just don’t understand why you’re asking.”

“Just trust me here.”

He rubbed his hand over his face. “No, we didn’t. She never made any move to.”

“Why didn’t you?”

“I don’t know. With Shannon she always made the first move. I didn’t want her to think all I wanted from her was sex so… It wasn’t like I minded anyways sex is, it’s fine but it’s not as big of a deal as everyone acts like it is.”

Hen laughed. “Sorry, ‘it’s not as big of a deal as everyone acts like it is?’ “

He felt his face heating up, this wasn’t a topic he had really brought up with anyone. “Yeah…” he cringed at himself. “I mean it feels nice but so does…” he stopped himself, sure Hen didn’t want to hear about that.

“Eddie, have you considered the issue is that you don’t like women?”

“What? I- What makes you think that?”

“Every girl your Tia has set you up with you find some small issue with, you only ever liked the idea of being with Ana, the way you describe your feelings for Shannon sounds like how someone would talk about their best friend…”

“That’s not true. I’ve had friends. The way I feel about Buck is nothing like what I felt for her.”

“And how do you feel about Buck?”

How did he feel about him? That wasn’t something he had ever taken the time to think about. Buck, someone who made his heart feel so full it hurt just from being in the same room. Who could somehow make him smile even in his worst moments. Buck who loved his kid so much it made him want to cry. Buck who made him feel safer than he’d felt his entire life and yet still made his heart race when he stood close. Buck and his curls that always seemed to lay perfectly. Buck and his muscular arms that made his knees feel weak if he thought about them for too long. Oh.

“Oh.”

Hen chuckled.

“Hen, what do I do?”

“That’s not my decision Eddie.”

“I- how could I have had it so wrong?”

“Repression. Sometimes you want to be what’s expected of you so badly that your brain hides the truth.”

“Yeah but that’s too easy right?”

“Sometimes it just takes a little push.”

“So I’m…”

“I don’t know. That’s for you to figure out, I just told you what I see. To me your experience sounds like a extremely repressed gay man’s. But I’m not you.”

“But I-I had a wife, and I loved her. I really did.”

“That can still be true Eddie. I mean look at Athena and her ex.”

[holywizardheart]

📚What awaits you with your studies in September?📚

Tarot reading🕯

Please don't take it too seriously. 😉This is a common layout for everyone. You can choose one of four options and take what resonates💕

Enjoy your reading ☕

🍪Pile 1🍪

Hello, pile 1, and welcome to my reading. Okay, let's get started. I can upset you guys, but this month will be monotonous and a little tedious. I guess maybe you won't have anyone to talk to or spend time with. I think it's quite possible that something will end for you or it will be impossible to restore. Something will not work out or requires a lot of effort and time. You can also be more sensitive to the environment and people. But I don't see any changes or drastic shifts here. You will spend more time by yourself doing your personal things alone.

💭Pile 2💭

Hello, my pile 2, how are you doing? Let's start this reading. Guys, you are waiting for a grandiose change, it can be positive but also negative. Soon something will change in your life or something will be destroyed immediately. Also here I see one lady, perhaps you will contact with this woman or something will be connected with her. Zodiac signs are Capricorn, Virgo, and Taurus. Or a woman who is stable and knows her worth can be a workaholic and constantly focused on earning money. It can be your mom too. September may seem a little unique or unusual to you. Also, chaotic scenes may happen this month and you may react emotionally to them. You can also meet new people or find new acquaintances. Good luck with this.

💡Pile 3💡

Hello pile 3, let's get your reading started quickly. Okay, I see you guys have high expectations for this month. You are waiting for something or have high hopes for the future. Making plans, completing tasks and working on yourself. I can see very well how tirelessly you are trying. Just like the other options, something is coming to an end. Soon something new will begin or changes will occur in your life. And these positive changes may be related to feelings. You can be sensitive to others and overwhelmed with a lot of emotions. You will feel comfortable and anxiety will not bother you yet. But there will definitely be difficulties, be ready to fight them. You will certainly succeed. I believe in you guys.

🌌Pile 4🌌

Hi pile 4 and we move on to the last one. You have such a slightly sad vibe coming from you. You miss something or don't want to let go of your good times. Perhaps someone or something leaves unexpectedly and because of this, you feel depressed. There are a lot of memories and reflections about the past. But you will have a desire and interest, perhaps by the end of the month. You will finally stop being nostalgic and start acting. You'll remember your responsibilities and achievements. Also, after the appearance of movement and motivation, you will feel like a happy person. Wish you good luck with your studies and dealing with important tasks.