#was there even a system at work legally or are the filipinos just getting fucked over casually by the friars and authorities.

[cathymee]

Telesforo NO-

It drives me mad why they keep the locket so much ;-; that they made Juli a dang servant (that the family/Tatang Selo does not want to do)

This is also the chapter of: Juliana Slander and well... Why are they arresting Tatang Selo?

Since i cannot understand much.... Simoun selling at Tales' den is well... just why?

This is just... foolish. Unless he is framed.

MY FRIEND I AM SO SORRY FOR ANSWERING SO LATE OMG ;-; just went through a busy month as i am about to graduate in my current year and had no time to pop back in here huhu but i've gathered my 2 brain cells now except whatever i wrote here isn't coherent at all

also first off the fact that this chapter is called merry christmas...u wanna beat up rizal w/me

aaaaaa i was screaming at simoun the entire damn chapter!! injustice really drives people to achieve justice and/or retribution in ways they see fit, and to achieve it with fury and vengeance is what simoun wanted to happen for all filipinos which is so fookin dumb like !! YOU BETTER STOP. and to think i had classmates before who cheered him on for exploiting the unprivileged and the oppressed like this bc "haha the indios' rebellion go brrr" but shits on activists and people who hold leftist political ideologies now by red-tagging them,,,, wild. like look around!! see what state we are in right now for people to be desparate enough to rebel and oppose the clowns, murderers, and the thieves in power. WILD.

juli's servitude still makes my heart hurt even now too :( it's just all so fucking cruel for all of them involved. selo just loves her granddaughter so much it breaks his heart enough to want death over seeing juli suffer being a servant instead of being the rich maiden, comfortable and well, that he had envisioned and wanted her to be…juli just loves her father so much that she tried all the plans and ideas she was offered just to earn money…juli just also loves basilio so much that she thinks she wouldn't be good enough for him but is at least comforted by the thought that she didn't sell the locket that he gave her as a sign of her loyalty….crying in the club rn. i understand why it's so frustrating at a logical standpoint tho because selling the locket would really really help them & basilio would give 0 fucks about the locket as long as juli and her family would be safe and well arrghhh I FEEL SO FRUSTRATED OVER IT AS WELL

juli slander INDEED literally she deserves so much better!! I WILL FIGHT ALL THE FUCKING FRIARS FOR HER

(another thing: do you think rizal forgot about sinang being really close friends with maria in the noli LMAOO bc the way he wrote sinang in this chapter has me raising eyebrows like sir. she was mc's cousin & bestie. we know it's been 13 years but come on…)

and they were supposed to arrest tales, as tales did commit murder but since he wasn't to be found they arrested tatang selo. (also Tales wasn't framed :( he intentionally left a trace behind because, well, vengeance. it's a sign and a threat to the authorities. :') )

i literally do not think there was any law out there at that time that states that they'd arrest another family member if the one who committed a crime wasn't present?? i mean i know like it was a colonization thing and the filipinos were heavily, heavily oppressed but i was thinking about if there were still any laws involved in this that i don't know about. does this make sense.

though granted the only thing we learned at school about laws in the spanish colonization era was the polo y servicio & nothing else, and to dive into the criminal laws in the Philippines in the 1800s at 12 AM is very tempting but i can't because i don't have the brain cells for it. i'm so sorry 😭 but even if that was validated by the law - which grants executions anyway?? actually??? and the system was GREATLY unjust and unfair towards Filipinos??? why is this mind-boggling sorry i'm very stupid HGSHGSHGAH - that was still unjust, tyrannic bullshit. and i wanna fucking fight simoun for being delighted at all literally fuck him

ANYWAY 😭 Simoun sold jewels there because that was the disguise he took on when he arrived in the country - he's a rich jeweler dude who tagged along to the Philippines because he's the Captain-General's closest friend (and the one who influences him to do bad shit, like what he details in ch7), now he's just. frolicking around. selling his stupid jewels when he knows most filipinos literally cannot afford his trinkets. a taunting figure of wealth and power just fucking shit up in the background

[kakumeii]

college course

i chose bachelor of science in legal management, but i’m not going to law school.

okay, for starters, i’m eighteen and just graduated high school as of writing.

my high school was academically adventurous — from being batch rank 1 in a small catholic school in my city, to being a scholar of one of the most prestigious universities in the country. there’s a lot of imposter syndrome, i’m telling you, and that was the time i had immense imposter syndrome because i came from an experience where people expected a lot of from me, and now that i was surrounded with people who were much smarter, and with an education system far more advanced than what i was used to, i almost thought i wasn’t cut out to be an achiever. that i just got lucky my junior high school had like, what, 30 people left in the batch.

but that’s all in the past. i’ve moved on from high school, and as of writing, it’s summer break before college. i’m gonna be a freshman in two months, and i’m not excited.

i had my senior high school in the university where i’m going to college at. when i applied, bs legal management was my first choice. some social sciences courses came after. i passed in my first choice, got a good scholarship, and i’m fucking scared. i saw bs legal management’s curriculum and nearly cried during the school of management open house. i cried because… fucking calc? christ. you see, i didn’t take trig, pre calc, and advanced algebra in senior high school intensively, okay? i didn’t dream as big as i did recently, so obviously my educational experience was a bit behind before. some friends are good at math, which is great, because i’m good in filipino and can definitely help them when they help me with calc.

so legal management. there was an option for us to change our degree program, and i was so close to choosing a humanities course (a design course at that), but somehow, i didn’t. i stayed for reasons i can no longer remember because my memory is a chunk of nonsense. though, i guess i chose to stay because i dreamed of getting good employment. in the philippines, that’s obviously a fever dream and only a reality for those who are already established wealthy before they were even born. aside from hard work, you also need insane luck. but a girl can dream, you know? public commute is a struggle, so i’ve always wanted to save up to get my entire family a car. we don’t need to get wet when it rains or heave a heavy sigh whenever grab rates spike at rush hours (which are, sadly, my dismissal time). aside from that, i’ve always loved fashion. however, i can’t afford them. i am targeted by fast fashion because it’s cheaper. thrifting is my secret weapon against this sadness of not being able to afford the brands i like. but still, i dream of filling my wardrobe with vivienne westwood, simone rocha, and yohji yamamoto.

i chose legal management because originally, i wanted to be a lawyer. a lawyer who can help women and children and queer people. because i check all the boxes. i’m assigned female at birth, i had been a child, and i am queer. i have witnessed the struggles of those who are less privileged than me. i think the first step to action is being disturbed by the reality that others face. i don’t think action should come first because we cannot just simply keep moving and moving without allowing the reality to reach us. we have to walk through their struggles so we may understand them. so we may know what action they need assistance in, and not blindly acting out of the necessity to protest. we need to know why we protest and what the objective of our protest is. this is why i want to be in legal management. this nuanced environment, i believe, will hone me into the following chapter that i will take. apparently, legal management is the best path to step in.

months then passed, and i realized that i didn’t want to be a lawyer. i am still advocating for the protection and uplifting of women, children, and queer identities, but pursuing law school daunted me. and eventually, there was also a change of passion. i was starting to love art that i thought about pursuing design as a profession. or maybe writing, which is something that i have always been passionate about since i was young (when my grammar was far worse than now). i honed my designing and writing skills on my own because i enjoyed it a lot. even though legal studies have been interesting to me, i was afraid of the fucking maths. there was general education math, which is okay, really, and then there’s two subjects of applied calculus in one semester. next few years there’s two types of accounting. if i fail, i would cry even though it’s expected.

i decided to start studying now, as of writing, when it’s still summer. but don’t worry, i am doing leisurely activities to still enjoy the few months i have left before hell arrives on my doorstep. i go to parties sometimes even though i am not a party person because i am just not built for extreme socialization to the point that people are eating your face. but it’s really fun hanging around with people once in a while. aside from that, i design, write, read, and watch almost everyday. i am actually watching succession as i write this. first season. it’s entertaining.

i do hope that when i come back here to talk about my course, i am less daunted and more excited to take it. if i don’t — god, i hope i don’t lose my scholarship.

and before i end this one, here’s stuff i wrote about my feelings on this degree program fear on my phone’s notes:

i will take whatever that is willed towards me. what i want, i won't deprive myself of. i've long been shadowing my creativity. this world has made me want to take something that will save me, but not something that will make me truly happy. i deserve both, so i will devise a plan to make that work. law piques my interest just as an ornithologist is to birds. but literature has lived in me since i was a kid. oh god, law, too! i was so interested in reading law excerpts at some point in junior high, and god, i realized i may have been really interested in it after all! i like law and literature, but most importantly, i like that love plays a vital role in both!

thank you for reading. have a nice day.

[nfldunn]

     𝙸 𝚆𝙰𝚂 𝙷𝙴𝚁𝙴—𝖆𝖓𝖉 𝖎 𝖒𝖆𝖙𝖙𝖊𝖗𝖊𝖉     roswelltask 002     ( @rocketfm )

𝑂𝑅𝐼𝐺𝐼𝑁𝑆 & 𝐹𝐴𝑀𝐼𝐿𝑌.

Full Name:   Gunner Raleigh Dunn

Reason for name:   Mostly stereotypical toxic masculinity, Gunner’s father wanted a “strong” sounding name for his son, believing that it would make him strong.

Nickname(s):   Gun, Dunn, QB, Midas

Date of Birth:   November 1st, 1988

Age:  32

Gender + Pronouns:   Cis-Male, He/Him

Place of birth:   Rockport, Massachusettes

Parents:   Sandra Burns-Dunn & Brock Dunn

Siblings:   N/A

Relationship with family (close? estranged?):   Estranged. Only currently speaks to his cousin who lives in England, as far as biological family is concerned.

Pets:   N/A

𝑃𝐻𝑌𝑆𝐼𝐶𝐴𝐿.

Height:   6 feet, 1 inch

Build:   Athletic, Muscular

Nationality:   American

Ethnicity:   3/4 White, 1/4 Filipino / Spanish / Catalan / Basque / Chinese

Distinguishing Facial Features:   Jawline & Strong, Sometimes Messy Eyebrows

Hair Color:   Dark Brown

Usual Hair Style:   Messy, usually with a minimal amount of product because he runs his hands through it a lot.

Eye Color:   Dark Brown

Complexion (freckles, acne, skin tone, birthmarks, scars):   Lightly Tanned, Almost-Olive Skin. A few scars on his hands and also spread over his back and shoulder.

Disabilities (physical or mental, including mental illnesses):   Anger Issues & Intermittent nerve issues in his injured shoulder that can, at times, leave him in a sling from pain.

What do they consider their best feature?:   His Biceps

Worst they’ve ever been injured (what, how did it happen)?:   While the injury that ended his career was by no means the only time he’d been injured badly enough to put him in the hospital, it is the only injury that truly left him with a lasting impact. It was during an important game for the season, when, upon one of his teammates getting their hands on the ball, he’d made the decision to tackle a member of the opposing team because he was in the best position to do so, and save the ball from the other team. But the momentum from the tackle had sent them off the field, and upon realizing where they were heading, he’d shifted his and the other player’s position in the air so he took the brunt of the impact when they collided with something on the sidelines. The impact, mostly focused on his shoulder, effectively shattered the bones there, and he’d needed to be surgically pieced back together like a jigsaw puzzle.

𝐴𝑃𝑃𝐸𝐴𝑅𝐴𝑁𝐶𝐸.

Favorite outfit:   Decently tight jeans, white t-shirt, and a leather jacket

Glasses? Contacts?:   N/A

Personal Hygiene:   Two showers a day - one when he wakes up, and one after his daily workout. He also has a skincare routine that he does every day, twice a day.

Jewelry? Tattoos? Piercings?:   He doesn’t usually wear jewelry, but he does have his ears pierced. He has a large tattoo that covers most of his back of a tree - with an intricate root system beneath the “ground” that’s visible, that says “no tree, it is said, can grow to heaven unless its roots reach down to hell.” He also has a tattoo of a raven on his non-injured shoulder, with a dragonfly right next to it, and delicate script forming a bracelet around his left wrist that says “you say i killed you - haunt me, then.” because the man is a classical novel nerd. And, finally, he has a roman numeral ‘thirty two’ tattooed on his ribs, near his heart, for his jersey number.

What does their voice sound like?:   I’m not even gonna try to explain it, okay, it’s low and gravelly and y’all can listen to it yourself if you really wanna know. The mans straight up sounds like he’s got a sore throat 100% of the time.

Style of speech (loud, mumbler, articulate, etc.):   He generally speaks fairly quietly - loud enough to be heard, but generally on the quieter side, unless he’s pissed and starts yelling.

Accent?:   Classic New England accent. But he also has a tendency to drop the ‘g’s from the end of his words, in a more typical Southern habit.

Unique mannerisms/physical habits:   He has a habit of flexing his hands into fists whenever he’s thinking, but generally, he doesn’t have a ton of habits that are unique to him.

Left handed or right?:   He’s ambidextrous, meaning he can use both of his hands equally as well, and doesn’t have a particular instinct towards using either of them.

Do they work out/exercise?:   Almost obsessively. He works out every single day, and usually can’t be caught dead skipping a day.

𝐵𝐸𝐿𝐼𝐸𝐹𝑆 & 𝐼𝑁𝑇𝐸𝐿𝐿𝐸𝐶𝑇.

Known Languages:   English, French, Filipino, & Spanish

Zodiac:   Scorpio

Gifts/talents:   He has always been a very talented football player, a natural almost as soon as he’d started playing, and is also quite gifted at chess, though that’s something that no one really knows about him.

Religious stance:   Agnostic/Athiest, if not a bit antagonistic towards the idea of a higher power.

Political stance:   Liberal, but like with most things, he doesn’t speak of it in public, so no one would really know. Many people in the past assumed he was a conservative because of the sport he played, even though it couldn’t be further from the truth.

Pet peeves:   Quiet, easily intimidated people.

Optimist or pessimist:   Pessimist

Extrovert or introvert:   He has a “switch” he can turn on and off as the situation needs. He’s generally an introvert, but when put into a situation where being an extrovert would help, he can put on an act to become one without much struggle.

𝐼𝑁𝑇𝐼𝑀𝐴𝐶𝑌 & 𝑅𝐸𝐿𝐴𝑇𝐼𝑂𝑁𝑆𝐻𝐼𝑃𝑆.

Relationship status:   Single

Sexual orientation:   Bisexual

Ideal mate/qualities they look for in mate:   He generally gravitates towards stronger, more dominant personalities, though it’s been so long since he’s been in a relationship that it’s generally not something he even thinks about anymore. Someone who’s outgoing and can spar with his prickly mood swings is usually who catches his attention, though.

Ever been in love?:   Once, and while it ended amicably enough, it ruined his views on relationships.

What’s their love language?:   Both physical touch and gift giving.

Most important person in their life?:   It’d been his grandmother at one point in his life, but now that she has passed away, he doesn’t really have anyone - a bit of a lone wolf type.

𝑉𝑂𝐶𝐴𝑇𝐼𝑂𝑁.

Level of education:   College degree in Classic Studies, with an emphasis on Classic Literature

Profession:   Sports Reporter at Rocket Radio Station

Past occupations:   Professional Football Player

Dream occupation:   N/A

Passions:   Football, Reading, Chess

Attitude towards current job:   It keeps him occupied for a little every day, and is about as close as he’s comfortable getting to his past career, which he appreciates, but he’s not exactly passionate about it.

Spender or Saver? Why?:   He’s a little bit of both. He doesn’t have to worry about money, mostly due to smart investments back when he was famous, but he doesn’t necessarily go around just spending money to spend money. If he wants something, he buys it, and doesn’t really have to think much on it.

Which is more important – money or doing something they love?:   He’s never had to choose, because the thing he loved made him money - but if he had to choose, if he could only have one, he’d choose doing something he loved.

𝑆𝐸𝐶𝑅𝐸𝑇𝑆.

Phobias:   N/A

Life goals:   To fade into oblivion, now

Greatest fears:   Intimacy

Most embarrassing thing ever to happen to him/her:   Gunner, for the most part, has no shame - so he generally doesn’t find very much, if anything at all, embarrassing.

Something they’ve never told anyone:   His animosity towards his father had started forming at a young age, mostly culminating in screaming matches between the two when he was a teenager, and that was why he left Rockport for college and never even considered turning back.

Biggest regret:   Not trying to make a long distance relationship work with his high school boyfriend, when he left for college.

Compulsions:   N/A

Police/Criminal/Legal record:   Nothing that actually landed on a record, but he did spend brief stints in “Family House”, a place for kids (mostly deemed “out of control”) to go when they couldn’t manage to get along with their parents, essentially giving them a safe place to go outside of their home and to give both parents and child a break from the tension, as a substitute for the foster system, but he only ever spent a few days there at a time.

Vices:   Alcohol

𝑃𝑅𝐸𝐹𝐸𝑅𝐸𝑁𝐶𝐸𝑆.

Hobbies:   Chess

Favorite color:   Charcoal Grey

Favorite smell:   Motor Oil

Favorite food:   Steak and Fries

Favorite book:   Pride and Prejudice

Favorite movie:   Uncut Gems

Favorite song:   (I Just) Died In Your Arms by Cutting Crew

Coffee or tea?:   Coffee

Favorite type of weather:   Thunderstorms

Most prized possession:   His collection of Super Bowl rings

Most used word or phrase?:   Fuck

[purplesurveys]

1131

survey by lilprincess

Approx. Time you began this survey: 6:46 on a Wednesday evening.

Describe your mood right now: Erm, a bit exhausted because I just ended a work shift; but content for the same reason. Right now I’m simply looking forward to dinner and crashing on the couch or my bed, wherever I feel like sleeping tonight.

Spell your first name without vowels: Rbn. Let’s just also remove y for this one.

Age you will be on your next birthday: 23.

Zodiac Sign: Taurus.

Do you believe what your horoscope says about your sign? I do not believe in astrology whatsoever.

What state/region do you live in? Somewhere in the Philippines somewhere close to Metro Manila.

Height: Like 5′1″ ish. I had a massive growth spurt in 4th grade that also ended in 4th grade, which will always be a funny story to tell people lmao. I went from being placed at the back of the class line to the front really quickly.

Do you smoke? Super occasionally. My last cigarette was like...all the way back in February last year. It was easier to hide the smell around my family before, but because my parents and siblings have mostly been staying at home in the last year it would be so easy to weed out the smell. I never feel like smoking anyway since I vape, so there’s been no reason to seek it out.

Do you drink? Yeah, sometimes socially and sometimes on my own if I wanna unwind and feel a lil buzz come through.

What's your ethnic background? Southeast Asian, specifically Filipino.

What's your religious background? Technically my ~background~ would be Catholic since I was born and baptized in that faith, but I’ve long let go of this. Excluding one very brief period in high school, religion was something I never held much belief and faith in, even if I've been taken to literally every Sunday mass for the last 23 years and even if I was enrolled in Catholic school from preschool to high school.

What's your natural hair color? Black.

What;s your natural eye color? Dark brown, almost black.

Do you have any bad habits you want to break? I do overtime work a lot but used to seldom file it on our company shift log sheet because I get shy that they must think I’m doing it just to be paid more, lol. I’m starting to file them every time I do OT though because fuck it, pay me.

Name a few of your positive habits. I like that I always find a way to meet deadlines. I like that I’m selfless, even though some would see it as a flaw. I’d rather do too much than say I never did anything at all.

Have you ever lived in a foreign country? No, the most I’ve done was travel to one for a week.

Did you vote in the Nov. 6 2012 presidential election? No because I am not American -___- The last election that took place before I was eligible was in 2010, and had I been able to vote then, I would’ve given mine to Gibo Teodoro, who I believe was the most qualified at the time.

Are you even eligible to vote? Yeah, I’ve been for the last 5 years. I’ve voted twice - once for the presidential elections back in 2016, and the next was for the senatorial elections in 2019.

Are you right handed or left handed? Right-handed.

When you write, is your penmanship usually neat or do you tend to scribble? It starts off neat for the most part, but it gradually gets messy and becomes more like a scribble if we’re talking about writing several essays in one sitting, which was usually the case in my exams in college.

Have you ever experienced an accident? (of any type): Sure, I’ve been in car accidents before. I’ve also been shocked once.

Do you have/want children? They would be nice to have, yeah. 

Are you environmentally conscious? For the most part, yeah. But there are some things that can’t be helped, like me driving. Unless the government does something about the shitty public transport system that we have and have had for decades, I refuse to take it.

What's your favorite mode of transportation? Like I said, my own car. If I’m traveling, by plane.

Do you prefer 80's - 90's music compared to today's music? Eh, not at all. I prefer music produced these days.

Are you more of an introvert (quiet/shy), or extrovert (social butterfly)? I’ve been more of an extrovert in the last few years but I will always be shy at first upon meeting new people, like that will never change. I warm up a lot quickly now, though.

What's your favorite emoticon? :)

Do you miss the good old days of hand-written letters? I caught the super super super last part of this era, so I didn’t even get to experience it. I know snail mail was still kind of a thing when I was a kid, but at the same time that was happening my mom was also already using email to keep in touch with my dad, so.

Nowadays, though, when I do write letters to loved ones, I will still prefer to make handwritten ones, especially for a significant other or best friend. I don’t think I’ve ever sent out a computerized long letter.

Do you enjoy receiving or giving more? Giving, but it’s nice to be treated too sometimes.

Are you good at keeping secrets? Sure.

Do you take or give advice more often? I don’t usually get into situations wherein I’d have to do either, but I think I’ve been asking for advice more, especially over the last few months.

Do you have your driver's license? “I got my driver’s license last week, just like we always talked about...” Haha this question made me sing a bit. Anyway, yeah, I got it shortly after I turned 18 since I needed to quickly learn before college started.

Would you rather be poor & happy or rich but miserable? Rich but miserable. Soz but I’d solve 4854983594857 of my problems if I never had to worry about money.

Have you ever had a pregnancy scare? Never.

Have you ever blocked someone on Facebook? Probably not blocked, but I’ve unfollowed some current Facebook friends and unfriended others entirely.

Do you think recreational marijuana should be nationally legalized? Idk much about the topic since it’s taboo enough where I live, but sure, I guess?I haven’t heard one bad word about the effects of marijuana.

Describe your perfect first date. I’ve never really had a first date, but I imagine an ideal one would be pretty lowkey, just a stroll around a nice city and maybe have fancyish dinner somewhere.

Have you ever been high? Nope.

Have you ever watched a NC-17 rated film? Sure. A good handful of Kubrick films pass for NC-17, right? I’d be surprised if they weren’t, lol. I’ve been scarred by some of them for sure.

If you ever become reincarnated as an animal, what would you want it to be? A dog.

Do you remember where you were/what you were doing on September 11, 2001? No; I was 2 years old. I did ask my parents where they were in those moments, and my mom understandably missed most of it since the entire thing unfolded in the late evening in the Philippines. The only thing she can recall was being insanely worried for my dad, who had just started to work in the US back then.

Do you ever wish you were of a different nationality/religion? Yeah, to a certain extent, just because the political and socioeconomic situation here is very messy and it doesn’t really give us the nicest reputation in front of the world. I’m proud of my Filipino culture and heritage though.

Are you more of a junk food addict or health nut? Health nut is the last thing anyone should be calling me. But I’m not so much a junk food addict either? I do like spoiling myself with food, but I still monitor my intake.

Do you believe Antarctica should be considered the 7th world continent? Isn’t it already though?? We’ve always been taught there were 7 continents and Antarctica is one of them lol.

Describe your own sense of humor in 1 word: Gen-Z, if that counts as one word.

Have you ever quoted the Bible (or any other Holy Book)? If I ever did it was probably meant to be sarcasm.

Have you ever completed a Sudoku puzzle? No. Never figured out how to play it either.

Would you rather be a nuclear physicist or marine biologist? Marine biologist. That’s one step closer to one of my loves, biology. Plus I was never any good with physics, so.

Do you have a deep, dark secret you're hiding from every one? I guess.

Would you rather be able to soar like an eagle or swim like a dolphin? I’d make my childhood self happy and go with flight.

If you wanted to learn a foreign language, what would it be? Korean so I can finally stop reading subs, hahah.

Are you bi-curious? No.

Did you watch the Disney Channel or Nickelodeon more as a kid? The Nickelodeon cartoons were far more interesting to me. I think I only got into Disney when I got a little bit older, once I was able to appreciate the more mature content in shows like The Suite Life, That’s So Raven, etc. But for the most part our TV was always tuned into Nick Jr., Spongebob, Jimmy Neutron and the other Nick shows.

Name 5 films that were made the year you were born: American History X (great watch), The Truman Show, Mulan, La Vita e Bella if I’m not mistaken (one of my faves, no matter how gut-wrenching it is), and Shakespeare in Love.

Did you have a lot of friends in high school? Yes, eventually I did.

Do you rely more on the newspaper, Internet or TV as your news source? Social media these days since I find that online writers are far more discerning in their reporting than TV anchors, who stay neutral at best.

True or false: Bigger is better. Very vaguely put, but not always, I guess.

Do you think religion is the primary cause of war? No? There’ve been plenty other reasons for war.

What's your favorite pizza topping? ...Cheese.

Think of your wardrobe. What color do you wear the most? It’s still black, I think.

Have you ever been to a planetarium? Just once, on a middle school field trip. I’d love to come back, though.

Do you feel like you connect more with animals or other people? I don’t get to be with animals a lot other than my dogs, so I’ll go with people.

Do you feel like sometimes you have to lie in order to protect yourself? Wow so dramatically put haha but yeah, I suppose it does feel that way sometimes.

How often do you exercise? Literally never. I’ve stopped working out this year since I didn’t see the point, and I’ve stopped feeling like I had to ‘get back’ at my ex just by getting a more toned figure. I’m totally at peace with how my body looks, plus I never want to give up on my favorite foods and snacks lol so there’s that.

Can you swear in a different language? Putangina mong bobo kang gago ka. That’s three for ya.

Do you think teachers/doctors deserve to get paid more than pro athletes? Everyone deserves to be paid fairly to the point that no comparison should be necessary, period.

From a scale of 1- 5, you would rate this survey: Erm, a 4.5. I had to delete some questions I didn’t feel comfortable answering or that I found a little meh, but the rest I fairly enjoyed.

Do you think most of these questions were more original or more ordinary? It’s a bit in between.

Approx. time you completed this survey: Hahahahah 10:38 PM. I took a million breaks.

[beameized]

Ang Huling El Bimbo the Musical: thoughts and feelings

[SPOILER ALERT]

Can I just say I love the subtleness of the musical and how it just tells its message through the storytelling???

It touches a whole lot on the Drug War that the current administration is waging against the poor Filipinos who are more victims than the main perpetrators themselves. The end of AHEB which only shows Joy's death and the subsequent lamentation of her family and old friends as the perpetrator who now holds a political position as a councilor goes scot-free is saddening but feels true with what happens in the Philippines. The people who are at the bottom chain are caught or killed while the ones running things get to sit in their high chair.

I also love how the other three main characters Eman, AJ and Hector represent the three divisions of the Filipino middle class and their actions towards the injustices and aggression Joy, who represents the poor and oppressed, faces tell a lot about their positions and views. When none of them could save Joy from being raped, their actions tell a lot about their position. Their positions in the future also dictates where they came from.

Emman who seems to be part of the lower middle class and is also an activist shouts the hospital, focusing more on comfort although might not do much is the kindest of the choices. Going to the hospital would be a direct action to help Joy who is in distraught atm cope. It's also important to see that although Eman got a government post like he dreamed (to change the system), it's the system that changed him instead. With someone from a poor background and no backing, he works hard everyday and is rarely home because he has to "prove" his worth. His career is banking on how hard he works and he forgets that the reason he dreamed of this in the first place was to help advocate for better change in the Philippines and take care of his family with his wife/sweetheart.

AJ who is at the very middle of the middle class chooses the police instead, relying more on the legal system that probably would seem like a fair judge ( probably to imply his trust on the system who perhaps would be fair to him but unjust to others) and his focus on the social aspect of it, aka how other people would perceive what happened. The middlest middle class whose position on the pyramid is dependent on how others perceive you hits too hard for AJ who becomes a successful businessman. He gets a wife, knowing full well that she would simply be a decoration for him to keep appearances, as he is in fact gay. AJ might know some people here and there but to primarily keep his connections, he has to look the part and in exchange for that, he hurts his wife and continues to hide who he truly is.

And God, Hector, this fucking bastard, I hate him but he represents the Upper Middle Class rhetoric so well. Hector tells everyone to keep quiet, to not do anything, overglorifying Joy's trauma and hardship as her being strong. And that speaks so much about how the upper middle class operates, how it's the upper middle class who rarely if ever listens, because although they might not be as powerful as the Filipino Oligarchs, they are pretty much the people living the "Fiipino Dream" and to keep their position, the upper middle class turns a blind eye to the suffering of the Filipino poor. Hector who had always lived comfortably chose to protect his own comfort even in the face of grave injustice. Hector makes it in life too. He's got the resources and the connections, just enough to get him a famous name as a tv director but being in the upper middle class means you still have to bow your head to those with power, to the great oligarchs who control how things go. You see Hector who is "a famous director", under the orders 'from above' has to make his series about ratings than the story itself. He has to accept people with connections into the movie because despite his position that many Filipinos dream about, he isn't exactly the omnipotent hand that can control everything.

God this musical feels so real. The characters too also just represent so much of the struggles of Filipinos, of the lapses in our society and how it continues to harm us and those around us. Please watch The Huling El Bimbo.

[revelation19]

Yahweh’s actions are not legal. They are fiction. Daenerys ordered the unsullied to kill the slave masters and any armed man. She said do not harm the children. Imagine if she said slay them all, man, woman, and even infant. Anyone with modern sensibilities would despise the character. Law is what improves morality. That’s why immoral things have been legal. The writers of the Bible were savages and we know better now. That’s why nonbelievers condemn their bullshit

I am not presupposing a moral standard. What I’m saying is that I don’t have a moral standard and that there is no such thing because law is the standard. It isn’t an objective standard. It’s a changing one and that’s a good thing. Say God’s ways we’re still “consuming fire” rather than “grace,” do you really think we’d let Christians stone disobedient children while claiming it’s God’s command? Just picture that in the 21st century

Us moderns, even you, look at Filipinos who whip and crucify themselves as crazy. Look at these parents crucifying their children on Easter. Then Muslims are cutting themselves open in the name of their god. We all, you included, think they’re crazy. Yet they think it’s right. How did we get from child sacrifice to here? No, not Jesus’s death on the cross. We got here because our law updates our morality. Slavery was legal until we evolved morally and overturned its legality

So what I’m showing you is a historic, factual treatment of the relationship between law and morality. Lots of people have made the mistake of thinking morality comes first. Law comes first. Morality comes later. Law creates the nuance in our moral views. Self-defense murder was considered immoral at one point. They scoffed at Christians who defended it and war time killing. Look at Christians today. Which of them condemns American soldiers for killing enemies? Like I said before, think!

Also, you don’t get to presuppose anything. You can’t make everyone submit to your flawed, circular reasoning. That’s not how anything works. Omniscience would come up with a better way to deal with disobedient children. Perfection would know a better way. This whole “we don’t understand his ways” bullshit is a fucking copout and you know it. You signed an oath at your seminary so I get why you’re helplessly stubborn. Your cult comes before even the church I see. Just wow.

Yahweh’s actions were 100% legal at the time. Now... just saying “a modern audience would be appalled if a fictional chartacter did something that violated their ethical assumptions” is not an argument. It’s just assuming that a modern audience already has a valid ethical viewpoint... that’s the very thing that we’re debating. So... again... you’re begging the question. Also... Game of Thrones? Really?

To say that law informs morality is so radically stupid I can’t even really quantify it. Now, to be clear, I’m not saying that you are stupid... but I am saying that that point is incredibly stupid. We make laws on account of our morality... we don’t just have laws that appear out of nowhere that then guide our moral development (except... if you’re a Christians and believe that God dictated them to us, that is). Immoral things have been legal because they weren’t considered immoral when the laws were written. People’s perceptions of what is and is not moral changed and then the laws changed to suit. 

You are presupposing a moral standard... whether you like it or not. You literally just said “I don’t have a moral standard... law is my moral standard.” You have a standard... the questions is, is my ethical system consistent with my standard and does it all make sense? I’m just telling you that your system doesn’t work. 

God’s ways are still consuming fire. “for our God is a consuming fire.”-Hebrews 12:29... that’s New Testament. Again... just saying “people wouldn’t like that” is not an argument. It’s basing morality on sheer emotion. That’s why your system is not coherent. You say that it’s based in law... but in reality it’s based on emotions. Your declared foundation and your actual foundation are not in alignment. And all of that is an attempt to obscure the fact that your perceptions of morality are not based truly on either... they’re based on the ethical system that was developed by the Christian Church in the West. So you’re really trying to use Christian moral standards to argue against the God who grounds those very moral standards... it’s self-defeating. 

How many times are you going to repeat “omniscience would come up with a better way” before you realize that you are not omniscient but think that you can dictate what an omniscient being would or would not do? You can’t say what an omniscient being would do because you do not have access to the kind of information that would factor into an omniscient beings actions and choices. To put it simply... you have no idea what an omniscient God would or would not do nor would you know why they would do what they do.... that’s not a cop-out. To think that you have the intellectual capacity to comprehend and then dictate what God should do is just hubris and... yet again, presumes your position to be correct from the start, which you have certainly not proved by any stretch of the imagination. 

Also, I signed no oath... I don’t know what you’re talking about, and I suspect you don’t either. I have complete intellectual freedom. Remember how I told you not to forget that you don’t know me? Perfect example of why that would be prudent. 

[roal-playing]

Matthew Cassius Richard Cuoco Gillette

Born: November 9th (Early 20s)

Birthplace:

Reno, Nevada

Family:

Phoebe Cuoco (Mother)

Officer Gillette (Father, until I come up with a better idea lmao)

Jason Cuoco (Maternal Uncle/Legal Guardian)

Jayme Knox Cuoco (Aunt/Legal Guardian)

Selene Cuoco (Cousin/Foster Sister)

Cassandra Hughes (Grandmother)

Rodrick Hughes (Step-Grandfather)

Imani Hughes (Step-Aunt)

Extended (Non-blood) Family:

Bulgarin Rossovich (Uncle Bully)

Zara Leroy (Aunt Zara)

Amelie Rossovich (He's allowed to secretly think she's hot, they aren't related)

Natalya Rossovich (See Amelie)

Viktor Rossovich (Best friend)

Nana Chloe (Not even vaguely related to him but she makes all the grandkids call her that)

Gus Marshall (who Aunt Jayme likes but Jason doesn't)

Natalie Marshall (Who Uncle Jason does like)

Grandpa Mayne (Nat's dad)

Grandma Mayne (Nat's mom)

Jules Marshall

Abel Marshall

Rory Marshall (See Natalya and Amelie lmao)

Uncle Darian (the one that knows how to teleport)

Ethnicity: Samoan/Caucasian (Italian, Greek, Scots-Irish)/Slightly Asian (Filipino)

Personality Traits:

Loyal af: Matt has inherited the Cuoco family tendency to be "ride or die" to a fault, at least where his inner circle is concerned.

Untrusting af: It honestly took living with Jason and Jayme to finally start convincing Matt that SOME people, just occasionally, could be genuinely altruistic.

Feminist af: From Phoebe to his Aunt Jayme and Cousin Selene to his Grandmother, Zara, Natalie and the Rossovich girls, he's grown up surrounded by kick ass women. Generally speaking, outside of Viktor, he has an easier time getting along with women than he does with men.

Contrary af: Systems and beliefs and traditions exist to be interrogated. There's no such thing as something that "just is", he wants to know why he's being asked to do something or he won't do it.

Pragmatic af: He's fundamentally not someone who wants recognition or fame, he's mostly just concerned with a stable career and financial success.

Low key af: Often found going for a run on his own or reading by himself in his spare time.

Headcanons (work in progress):

Grew up very attached to his mom, and later to Cassie as well.

Spent a summer in juvie, after his freshman year of high school, for a B&E. He didn't snitch on anyone, but his friends ratted him out and he took the fall.

Met Viktor for the first time in elementary school when Jason was watching him for Phoebe and brought him to meet the Rossoviches. They've been tight ever since.

Comes to live with Jason and Jayme permanently during his sophomore year of high school

Had a difficult relationship with his Uncle during his teens because Matt was hard-headed and Jason was (one would argue, unnecessarily) strict with him to try and straighten him out (whereas Jason gave Selene more latitude because "she's not the dumbass who got himself arrested.")

I had the headcanon that he winds up being close to Jayme because she's been where he's at, angry and rebelling and struggling with a parent(al figure) always taking the tough love approach and she gets it~. Like she'll still call him out on shit, but she gets it in a way Jason honestly doesn't

Ran away from home like twice to try and go back to living with his mom

I feel like Jason probably sent him to Bully to learn how to box because "if taking up a sport where he's a punching bag for three giant Russian guys doesn't knock some discipline into him, nothing will."

He and Viktor had all kinds of hustles in high school, they ran all kinds of illegal "business operations"

Goes to a lot of protests and stuff in college. Sometimes because the cause means something to him, sometimes just because "fuck the system" in general

Went on ONE camping trip with Uncle Bully and Uncle Jason. Has hated camping ever since. Stick him in a city any day of the week.

[zucca101]

Friendship ending

A lot of people have had friends dump them because they either voted for Trump or don’t hate Trump enough.

And when they are forced to see that the friends they try to dump aren’t horrible people, they perform mental gymnastics to convince themselves that their former friends are horrible people.

The following is a long rant from one such friend of mine and my response. If you recognize who it is, I DEMAND you seek no reprisal from them. I am keeping them anonymous to protect their identity for just that reason.

... A leftist, really now. Ahaha, oh wow.

*Link to the post I made about Lincoln being shot by a Leftist*-Z

Yes, noted Confederate sympathizer and anti-abolitionist John Wilkes Booth. A leftist.I was already keeping you at a healthy arm's length while putting up a vague semblance of friendship for the sake of not rocking the boat on that one server we're in, but holy shit have you ever lost your damn marbles. I can't do this, lmaoI mean, you've got an impressive collection of bullshit on that blog of yours all around, but this? chef kissHonestly, on some level, you impress me. How someone can claim to be anti-establishment while sucking up to the establishment every possible way they can, how someone can claim to be "seeking truth" only to disregard all evidence that can't be traced back to some skeezy reactionary Facebook page or another delivered to you through the impermeable little bubble of right-wingers you've created for yourself along with the right wing side of mass media your purportedly loathe so much... tell me, just how much cognitive dissonance do you deal with on a daily basis?How does it feel to claim to be "pro life", or to claim that you care about others only to push for measures to restrict access to healthcare, or to vehemently yell against anything the government could do that would make it easier for people to come out of the vicious spiral of poverty?(edited)How does it feel to constantly pretend to care about minorities, but only ever use us as gotchas to other minorities that you've internally designated as universally bad in spite of any evidence to the contrary - not to mention, without ever listening to us if we tell you you did something wrong, instead cherry picking those of us willing enough to suck up to the establishment to tell you what you want to hear, so you never have to confront the idea you may have done something wrong?(edited)Hell, isn't that what they call "virtue signaling" in your circles?Beyond your dishonesty to others, ask yourself this: are you even honest to yourself? Aren't you robbing yourself of any kind of personal growth by doing all this? Are you really contributing anything positive to this world by constantly spreading unchecked factoids that instantly fall apart the moment you expose them to any actual scientific sources (you know, the ones people in your general political corner like to call "fake news"), or by spreading the idea that people in dire straits should just pull themselves up by their bootstraps?Or for that matter, by resisting any measure of change towards a fairer society and instead vocally gushing about the virtues of a system that, by its very nature, its very definition, its very -essence- is about fucking over who you can, and quietly plugging your ears to anything you hear about the many negative consequences it has for the world, or the people living in it?Come back to me once you've learned how to maintain a shred of integrity, I suppose. Maybe take some time to reflect on what it means to be a good person. I can't be friends with someone to whom I have to explain why they should care about other people.Goodbye.

This is my response:

In 1865 John Wilkes Booth, a Democrat, assassinated Abraham Lincoln, President of the United States.

In 1881 a left wing radical Democrat shot James Garfield, President of the United States who later died from the wound.

In 1963 Lee Harvey Oswald, a radical left wing socialist, assassinated John F. Kennedy, President of the United States.

In 1975 a left wing radical Democrat fired shots at Gerald Ford, President of the United States.

In 1983 John Hinckley, a registered Democrat, shot and wounded Ronald Reagan and paralyzed a member of his cabinet.

... In 1984 James Huberty, a disgruntled Democrat, shot and killed 22 people in a McDonalds restaurant in San Ysidro, CA.

In 1986 Patrick Sherril, a disgruntled Democrat, shot and killed 15 people in an Oklahoma post office.

In 1990 James Pough, a disgruntled Democrat, shot and killed 10 people at a GMAC office.

In 1991 George Hennard, a disgruntled Democrat, shot and killed 23 people in a Lubys cafeteria.

In 1995 James Daniel Simpson, a disgruntled Democrat, shot and killed 5 coworkers in a Texas laboratory.

In 1999 Larry Asbrook, a disgruntled Democrat, shot and killed 8 people at a church service.

In 2001 a left wing radical Democrat fired shots at the White House in a failed attempt to kill George W. Bush, President of the US.

In 2003 Douglas Williams, a disgruntled Democrat, shot and killed 7 people at a Lockheed Martin plant.

In 2007 Seung - Hui Cho, a registered Democrat, shot and killed 32 people in Virginia Tech.

In 2010 Jared Lee Loughner, a mentalliy ill registered Democrat, shot Rep. Gabrielle Giffords and killed 6 others.

In 2011 James Holmes, a registered Democrat, went into a movie theater and shot and killed 12 people.

In 2012 Andrew Engeldinger, a disgruntled Democrat, shot and killed 7 people in Minneapolis.

In 2013 Adam Lanza, a registered Democrat, shot and killed men, women, and children in the Sandy Hook school massacre.

Leftist? Maybe JWB was, maybe he wasn't. But a Democrat, he assuredly was. Perhaps I overreached in saying he was a Leftist, but I should clarify that when I say 'Leftist' I don't mean 'someone on the Left'. I mean someone who believes The Left is the ONLY way. The same way I draw distinction between Muslims and Islamists. Islamists want to push it on others. Muslims are the broadest defition of those who follow Islam.

And what establishment am I sucking up to....? I don't watch Fox with any kind of regularity. I get most of my facts from self-described 'classic liberals' whose hearts are on the Left, but their minds are more centrist. They have intellectual honesty. I listen to Gavin McInnis to blow off steam, Bill Whittle for the Right of Center take on news and Sargon for Left of Center.

I don't care for the mass media because while I suspected that they were liars and obfuscating before, to finally have iron-clad proof of it is extremely liberating.

And I CHALLENGE YOU to show me where I said that women should not have access to healthcare. Or even hinted at it. What, you think because I know Single Payer is garbage that will create a pile of corpses. I'm against healthcare for women? I've even said that my stance on abortions is that it should be between the woman and her doctor, not the woman, the government, the doctor, some pencil pushers and more. Just as my stance on same-sex marriage is that it should be between a couple and the church of their choice, not to make it legally compulsory and simply flip the oppression over rather than making it fair and equal of measure. And where abortions are concerned, the parental rights of the father are nonexistent. Now, in cases such as incest and rape (Which if you look at the stats, represent a small minority of abortions) still strongly urge the mother to consider life, but if she chooses abortion, while I find it extremely distasteful (The child DOES NOT HAVE A SAY IN THIS) I fully understand and sympathize with the decision.

As for helping people out of poverty, you know what's the BEST way out of poverty that ISN'T a government program?

A job. A simple job. And if the government creates conditions that *encourage* job growth, then you accomplish the same end without making people dependent on the governmnet.

That's not to say that there shouldn't be charity for people who TRULY cannot help themselves. That's a given. But when you extend the scope of those within the perview of the government to give money to to include people who CAN help themselves, then you create dependents. And it's not that they're bad or lazy people. They're taking the least complicated route. If you get more money for not working than you do for working, you'll take the one that affords you free time to spend with your family, friends or on your own pursuits.

Constantly pretend to.... universally bad...? WHAT....? Dude, don't even try that one. Blah-blah, anyone Right of Mao is racist, blah. Pardon my French, but go fly a frikken kite. In my tabletop gaming group, my friend Paul, 2nd Generation Japanese immigrant, is the most decent and kind man I've had the pleasure of knowing. He's a good dad to his kids and a good husband to his wife. My freind Zach is from a huge Filipino family and he's the best GM I've ever met, short of my oldest brother. John grew up in a Cadillac before his parents legally became citizens and came up to America from Mexico. These are guys I trust, literally, with my life. And none of us give a crap what the other looks like.

And I admit, for a while I was 100% not on board with Transsexualism. But since then I've come to stand that an adult who has spoken to a therapist and doctor, sorted out their feelings and decided after consideration that they wish to transition is completely fine by me. It doesn't hurt me or anyone else and if they've spoken to a therapist, then they're not setting themselves up for something regrettable. Now, trans-trenders, who want the status of being special and different, but don't want to go through the heartache and effort of making that transition, I call out for their bullshit, because not only are they full of shit, they're robbing REAL transsexuals of their credibility, their agency and their respect. And for some transsexuals to come out and say 'You don't have a right not to have sex with a transsexual', can't you see how that would rub some folk the wrong way?

Don't even try to talk to me about science, friend. I studied biology, agricultural science and psychology and I know a thing or two and when someone obfuscates or has nothing peer-reviewed, then I get suspicious. Again, I'd sorely love for you to point out where I was 'anti-science'.

And if you're suggesting that Socialism is your fluffy 'Fair Society' then I suggest you travel to Venezuala. I have a friend who lives there and the picture he paints is NOT a pretty one. How do you define a 'Fair society'? Because I define it as a society that rewards effort. You do a hard day's work, you make a fair wage and you work your way up the ladder. You can't try to take luck or privilege into account on EITHER Socialism or Capitalism, because there is no way to quantify the variable of luck and when you look at privelege, then it exists in the pipedream of Socialism too, because the people running it will ALWAYS BE BETTER OFF than the people who are not. That's simple human nature. The Great Wheel of Life as the Buddhists describe still exerts its effect on a Socialist state as much as a Capitalist. But unlike Socialism, at least in Capitalism you have, barring disability, the same shot as anyone else does to earn a good living.

I find it laughable that you sit there, where you are, and decry someone you know through occasional chats as either a good person or a not good person based on arbitrary variables.

See, the truth is that life is not as black and white as that. It's an exquisite composition of greys and other colors.

Sometimes life is good, sometimes life is not, but if you are free to self-determination (Something you DO NOT HAVE IN SOCIALISM) then you have a chance to better yourself. You DARE to accuse me of not caring about people out of one side of your mouth, while, with the other, propping up Socialism, which *DOES NOT CARE* about people to the point that a child is worthy of sacrifice due to SIMPLE INCONVENIENCE?! Sorry, but *fuck* that is the very cognative dissonance you accuse me of in plain and flagrant view.

I push myself to be a good person. I don't hurt people, I volunteer, I help the seniors at my church with many needs, I'm there for my friends and family and will drop what I'm doing to help, I treat everyone working retail with respect and actively try to make their day brighter, I don't care what color someone's skin is, I don't care if someone is disabled (My best friend back in Youth Bowling League and a better bowler than I, was a deaf boy named Arron), and I am generally considered to be very 'chill' in person and am so without chemical intervention. Does that make me a good person? I don't rightly know. I just do the best I can with what I've got. And I don't *dare* to assume that I have moral highground unless it's a truly clear-cut case. I've never killed, raped (Even though 3rd Wave Feminism insists that in every man there is a rapist that needs to be taught not to rape_) or stolen anything (Some shoplifting in my youth notwithstanding). In other words, I try to be a decent and polite person and let the world decide if I am or not a good person.

But what boggles my mind is that the line between good person and bad person is tied DIRECTLY to what side of the political spectrum they fall under. That is simplisticly childish. As is the 'Come back to me when you care about people' nonsense.

I will again wait for you to come to your senses and realize that life is not a cartoon with cartoonishly one-note people.

Genuinely warm regards,

-Zucca

[typewritertoni-blog]

The Church Teaching Vs LGBT+ of the Philippines

Toni Torres here with my first post! I've decided to express an opinion I have on this issue up there. Yep. The title. Don't get me wrong, I'm a Catholic. I've been raised in a Catholic school and studied Christian Living for eleven years. Something in me just seems to analyze and see all of these arguments of Catholics who reason their hate against the LGBT+ community. I strongly oppose them. I am a victim of their discrimination, I'm a bisexual teenager after all. I grew up hearing that I was the scum of the earth. Just because I prefer both genders. Amazing.

Do their arguments really hold up? Can hate be justified? Morally and logically? No. And I will rant on why. This will be the fruits of all my bible reading, researching and writing. Let's get into it!

Many would argue that it is stated in the Old Testament that no man should lie with another man and a woman with another woman. I need to stress the words: OLD TESTAMENT. Loud and clear? Good. These rules are from a time before Chirst, a time before the Messiah. A time so ancient that we don't really keep much of the rules that they have mentioned.

You know those rules right? How to sell slaves, how we aren't allowed to eat certain types of meats (we don't have those restrictions in the present, by the way), men could have multiple wives and many more ancient rules that were regarded as Gospel at the time. Do we follow these outdated rules in the present? NO. The rule of polygamy in the Old Testament is against the teachings of the Church about monogamy. So why should we treat this specific rule about homosexuality like it is an unbreakable rule that should be followed at all times? If we shall do so, shouldn't we adopt these old rules as well?

We live in the era after Christ saved us. His two most important Commandments, love God with all you heart and Love thy neighbor as you love they self, are the basis. The Old Testament rules can only be applied to the times of Old and are not feasible or necessary to follow. Our focus should be on the new.

Some people also argue that homosexuality falls under one of the Ten Commanents: "You Shall Not Commit Adultery". The definition of adultery is to have sex with someone you are not married to. Homo people have sex because of one of two reasons: 1) They are in a commited monogamous relationship that resembles marriage but cannot be marriage because it ain't legal in their country. 2.) Lust has taken over and they have therefore sinned. You know, like all other straight people who have sex left and right. But do we see people up in arms about it now? No. Double standards, I tell you. They make homosexual sex such a big deal and turn a blind eye to straight people who are having extra-marital and pre-marital sex.

Let's put it into the context of the era the Old Testament was in. Homosexual intercourse is a ritual by pagans to their gods and was basically RAPE. Some have homosexual intercourse because of LUST and not LOVE. These are the types of homosexual relationships that God doesn't want. God is the ultimate symbol of love. Why would he be in the way of a love that is pure and true? If that pure and true love was between two people of the same gender, what difference does it really make?

I know what some of you might be saying. "Homosexuality is unnatural!" BOY YOU SURE 'BOUT THAT? If you try to do a little bit more research, same-sex relationships in animals do happen. They're natural. If you're worried of declining number of babies then don't you fucking worry. Many animals accept these same-sex relations, have they gone extinct? Hell no!

I could hear another keyboard warrior typing off with another objection. "Jesus told us to be fertile and multiply! Being gay means not doing what He says." Slow down there, bucko. Do you guys take everything literally? My CL teacher taught me to not take everything literally, that it takes patience to interpret meaning. Like how the parables aren't literal and have meaning, so too does the Bible. Although yes, having children and teaching them about Christianity is one way of fulfilling this responsibility, it is not the only way. Being fertile could also mean being fertile with faith and strong love for God then converting the people around you, thus multiplying believers of the Good News.

"Marriage is between a man and a woman! God made man and woman for eachother!" For religion, marriage is all about reproduction. But isn't marriage supposed to be a bond between two people who love eachother so much that they would like their love to be sealed by God's grace? Just like I said in the previous argument, making babies is not everything. Reproduction is important but not everyone needs to do it. Having kids isn't a responsibility, it's a choice. If you're going to punish gay people for not taking part of the reproduction of our species then you should punish those who practice celibacy like our nuns and preists. Alsooo those who are barren. Was it their fault they were barren? No and the Church leaves them alone. Is it the fault of homos to be the way they are even if they were like this ever since?

Hell, the world is overpopulated. If you're worried that straight people won't exist in the future if we let homosexuality and queerness run wild, don'tcha worry. EVERYONE HAS PREFERENCES. Like how you might like chocolate than vanilla, even if many of your peers like vanilla more. YOU STILL CHOOSE CHOCOLATE RIGHT? Your preferences are uniquely your own and no one can influence you to be like someone unless you let them. So you won't be gay if you truly aren't gay. Like how you won't like vanilla if you truly don't.

If you really want no gay weddings in your churches then at least don't meddle in state affairs! The rights of others won't undermine your religious rights. States are supposed to represent all the people and not everyone is Catholic. Seperation of Church and State. Not all Filipinos are Catholics. Even if a Filipino were Catholic, they should be allowed freedom of thought. Let them think what they want to to think, outside of the religious belief system. Then again, organized belief systems don't let people have their own interpretations. We must follow the leader's interpretation. That truly destroys free and critical thinking.

Man and woman are made for eachother…for reproduction. It's simple biology and I won't argue with that. We're talking about relationships. Not all people believe that the opposite sex is for them, some people believe that they'd like the same-sex as a partner. Again, all about preference.

I could go on and on about the different verses and reasonings that Catholics (maybe priests) make about being anti-homo. If you want me to answer any of the ones I haven't discussed then feel free to send a question to submissions. My beliefs probably don't stem from Catholic dogma but I simply base what I believe in the Word of God. It was made by Him as he used the Bible writers as his vessels.

As a good Catholic, I should believe in what the Church says but I'm tired of playing dumb. I'm tired of hating myself just because some people with fancy titles say so. These doctrines, the ones that reject homosexual and queer people, are not of God. He is merciful. He is forgiving. He is loving. He loves us. He won't hate me for being bi, He loves me because I'm His child.

"But Toni…how can you say that those doctrines are not of God, you aren't a prophet!" I'm no prophet nor am I pretending to be. The God I know and have been raised to believe in is not an all-powerful entity that hates people because of shallow reasons. My CL teachers and the Church themselves have taught me that God is Love.

The Church may be founded by the Chosen 12 of Jesus but the Church is far from perfect. We are taught that. If only they could accept that maybe the things that they teach could seriously hurt and isolate the queer people who are God's children as well. If only they could keep on improving themselves instead of insisting that backwards thinking would work the best. Jesus himself was a radical, who changed beliefs and taught differently but without losing the essence and all the while creating something new, better and updated.

Is being queer a weakness? (These godly people insist that being homosexual is human weakness, after all.) To answer that, you better answer this: Is loving someone a weakness? No. If anything, loving with a pure heart is the strongest and bravest thing you could ever do.

Even if it is human weakness in doctrine, straight people have human weaknesses as well. You call it, sin. Simply being human. Again from my points from previous paragraphs, there are double standards.

You don't see straights getting beaten up because they love someone. They don't get to be called dirty and worse than animals. We are all equal. We are all sinners. If I sin for being who I am then you are no different than me because you sin too. All sins are equal, so are the good things we commit in the eyes of God. So don't go riding your high horse because I might shoot it down with a shotgun of logic. People like you are the reason why many members of the LGBT+ Catholics face discrimination and pain. Jesus told us to comfort the afflicted, not drag them to the ground.

As our Lord said, "Let him who has never sinned, cast the first stone."

Okay. Now let's discuss how the CBCP is demanding that LGBT+ people should not have protection and not have a right to protection by the Anti-Discrimination Bill. The news is kinda late but their point still stands until now. The SOGIE Bill that aims to protect our Filipino LGBT+ brothers and sisters are being restricted by this. They insist that we are disordered when humans have always been disordered because of our tendency to sibln. Looking down on us like we're monsters or deviants serving the devil. In reality, we simply want to love and be loved. Just like everyone else.

Here you are, CBCP, calling yourselves Children of God when you yourselves act like the devil who tries to make the lives of other people miserable, the LGBT+ community in particular. Are you so blinded by dogma that you stop remembering what our mission as Christians are? We are tasked to show and express God's love to all peoples. Is denying the LGBT+ from protection your way of showing God's love? If so, that is a HORRIBLE way of doing it. You're just doing the opposite at this point.

I'm sure many Catholics are accepting and could see reason. Many probably disagree to the CBCPs actions. What I'm striving to fight against is how the teachings that are supposed to guide us to become good Catholics are teaching us to see LGBT+ people as scum of the Earth. No true child of God would do that, right?

We don't like things we don't understand. Maybe the Church has not tried to show compassion or try to understand the LGBT+ community. We are supposed to reach out to the oppressed but no. We are the oppressors.

So... Who's the scum of the earth now?

We don't have to let things be this way. God always gives us second chances. And I think it is high time that we change for the better, for the sake of our LGBT+ brothers and sisters who are faithful to God and to His mission of bringing His love to all people.

Remember. Bring His love to ALL people.

That includes us.

Sincerely,

Toni Torres

(For questions or rebuttals, just send one to my submission box or comment them. I'd be happy to see what your thoughts on the topic are. Did I miss something? Was I innacurate? Do enlighten me. This rant was based on knowledge I have at the present. In discussing these matters with civility but with conviction, we will learn more from eachother. Who doesn't want knowledge? Anyways, thank you for reading! Sorry for the rant, this topic was too close to home and I just wanted to say my piece. I dedicate this post to all LGBT+ people out there who struggle to come to terms with their identity and faith. I've been through that and I know it is tough. Just keep on believing.)

[jens-notes]

I'm living to 102. And then dying. Like the city of Detroit.

I'm living to 102. And then dying. Like the city of Detroit.

Things are improving.  I’ve never been dead, but I have been close.  If anything, i’m better than ever, which is funny because my ex thinks by trying to strip me of everything, stealing my children to please a psycho he married at random… that i’m laying dead somewhere unable to do anything.

I should hope by now that he understands that I am and always have been one step ahead of him.  I think he’s been trained to believe i’m completely stupid or something but he should know way better.  I have always been legal smart.  That is half the reason I have kept my mouth shut for 2 years.   Sometimes if I rant I say too much.  He’s done so much now that people are telling me I have to speak.  I mean, the stuff they’ve posted on Facebook and their antics at trying to hurt me or keep my kids from me for no reason are hilarious.  It’s clear the outside sees these two trainwrecks with my kids and sees how they behave and all they’ve done wrong and this won’t end well for them.

I get stalked so much by them and I pay no attention to them. I focus on my kids.  My friends focus too much on them and send me screenshots but I for the most part ignore it except when they’ve gone overboard on some posts.  Let me tell you, the posts they have made recently have been seen by law, psychiatrists, ph.d’s, and all have agreed that what they are doing to my children’s minds is awful.  “Mindfucking babies” to quote one doc.

On top of that, they are just really bad at lying.  So bad, it’s being tracked, planned out, and i’ve had Roselou Warren’s family come to me and tell me to get my children away from her.  I knew in 2017 this wicked Filipino woman who has self-image and fat issues (like everyone deals with except some of us don’t go psycho about it)… and in 2017 I had no problem with her when they first met.  One night of the many when he left my children home alone to drive 110 miles to visit her and didn’t return home for my kids… I called my ex and asked him where he was to get them, they had school.  Instead of him answering the phone, this fucked up girl answers the phone and confronts me out of nowhere and I could hear him leading her on in the background. Before this, I had no issues and was happy for him.  Matt and I had a civil relationship despite the fact that I should have had him killed for what went down to cause me to file for divorce.  He had helped me a lot.  However, since he met this woman and took my children away from me, filed court action to strip me of my custody and money, and tried to fake threats against her, both of them posting radical thoughts and accusations that I’m going to hurt these to weirdos, he has turned into a human, not even human, that has no conscious, evil, and well, to put it bluntly… the point I hope he fucking drops dead tomorrow from a stroke or heart attack or gets hit by a truck driven by a cow, thrown, and impaled with a fence post.  It took a lot to bring me to the point that I wish him ill will.

It’s not coming from me though.  It’s going to happen because it’s time for karma to come along and fuck him in the ass.  Just don’t let my kids be around him.  He already lost a court battle in the approx. amount of $8000 in May.  Not from my doing.  Now, they are just perjuring the Florida court system repeatedly.  I know what him and this messed up psycho are doing to throw me off their trail, and it’s not going to work.  I fell for their lies initially because I know my ex better than his own hand, and how he acts and behaves and I had to learn that this was not my ex’s mind running the show.  He is being controlled by this woman, who is way more screwed up than I ever was.  I never came close to the antics she does.  I’d outline my exact strategy here, but i’ve already won phase 1, and he’s not unemployed and poor so i’m going to go to phase 2.  Goal 1 is get my children in my life – which is what law is there for because I have the right to unlimited time with my kids legally.  Goal 2 though is to break him of his will and his bank account.  He can’t fight me when he’s poor.  Either he is in contempt of court, or he’s unemployed and can’t take care of my children.  Fact 1… he’s highly employable and never been without a job longer than 12 days in his life in the USA of 18 years.  He’s only ever lost a job once.  That was the 12 days wayyyy back in like 2006.

What is funny is they started a business first week of June or something called 907 Technology.  September 7, 2017 is when these two fuckups got married and is when they stole my kids from me.  Either way, the documentation provided to the courts in their mandatory disclosures was true, but it wasn’t everything. This will be their strategy. Throw me off, make me think he’s either unemployed or working for his old company. I do believe he got fired.  That’s been a long time coming.  He’s actually a shit hole employee that lies about his resume and lies about what he has done.  He’s just a plain old liar now.  His company’s page and about me at first listed all his former employers as his previous clients.  If that wasn’t funny enough, his IT security consulting business page had a stolen copyrighted image as their logo from a website that specialized in catching people stealing information security. Lol.  For someone as experienced, at least used to be, in coding and web security, was designed using blogger and a very pathetic user interface with Google. At least I do everything fairly genuine and i’m not nearly on paper as experienced.  I have 2 LLC’s and well, frankly, knowing the tax business, I know exactly what he is attempting to do to try and hide income.

He has filed to be of indigent status in Brevard County as of June, stating he is poor. However, at the same time they claimed to be buying a house, or having cars.  All I have to do is have that application challenged.  He is already in contempt of court in Lake County. That’s where I got a judgement of $8k.  This is all a dangerous smoke screen he is putting up that I think like everything else, borders with screwing with me and screwing with the justice system as well.  See he claimed he lost his job in the beginning of June 2018.  Well going from 10K a month in income to $300 a week in unemployment just won’t pay his bills.  He would be so miserable and so far gone and lost everything that just knowing this, I can tell you he’s not unemployed, nor is he actually earning money with a business at this moment here at the end of July 2018.  He was paycheck to paycheck. But he is highly employable nonetheless, resume lies or not.  He’s totally fucked in the mind and stupider than shit, but he knows how to get and hold onto a job.  He’s also desperate.

So desperate for love he found this woman, and both of them were sooo desperate they clinged to each other immediately.  She is young and has no kids, ugly as fuck — more ugly than my fattest ugliest moments, and he’s old and fearful of dying alone.  Old for him is whatever like 45.  He’s so desperate for this love that he’s doing whatever it takes and is by everyone’s account (not mine until more recently) gone off his rocker with the crazies.  His appearance at our May court date was disgusting.  But, like the smoke screen they are putting up, I believe it was planned.  My ex has never seen a scruffy face except once in our marriage many many years ago, where I wanted to see what he looked like with a goatee.  That lasted like a week.  He’s anal about shaving and he showed up to court this one time looking like a homeless unemployed man and not even dressed up hoping that the judge will be tricked into thinking he is just as his appearance was.

When he lost the case, I got images sent to me by my facebook friends showing their crazy posts, which I’m going to share soon, that say, “no matter what, we are so happy, and she will never find love like ours and we always win no matter what just because of that” – not to quote but in the jist of it along with pictures of them eating at a foreign food restaurant crossing their hands with new wedding bands they just bought that day or prior.  It’s like they think i’m watching them so they go out of their way to make sure they say the stupidest shit nobody actually believes.

When her family contacted me after that, it was made known that she is shaming them.  They never cared until she moved close they said. But now her actions are shaming them. They encouraged me to tell my lawyer this… tell my lawyer that, make sure I show him this and that…. etc.  If her family thinks she’s a fucked up crazy and by family, I mean her brother… then in reality it’s way worse because as a 34 year old adult you aren’t showing your family the full picture. They see a sliver of the picture, and it’s bad. The full damage and omg it drives me insane.

Ok well — yeah already spoke too much.  My next actions will be to file a couple of motions now that I fired my lawyer for taking too long.  I was my own lawyer for the last 3 years and got shit done, I hire a lawyer because i’m going through a period of “regaining my strength” and the douchetool spends all of his time on vacation.

I’ll go back to being me. Legally smart and a mother devoted to her children.

Posted by: Jen

Filed under: Beyond 2018, Brevard County, Fighting Rights, General, Matt, The Ex Files