#watching the first ep is probs gonna make it worse when I know where it’s standing right now but yeah no I love pain apparently

[chaosinstigator]

just a heads up if you think you’re prepared for the last episode no you’re not

[shinjaeha]

bad buddy ep 11 (thoughts)

i have never...NEVER in my life been more heartbroken by an episode of a tv show. like heartbroken doesn’t even cover it tbh. i’m so glad that this airs every friday night bc it incapacitated me the whole weekend...there’s NO WAY i could have gone to work after that ep. i just stayed up the whole night and spent all of saturday rewatching it over and over again and crying my eyes out.

i’m not even exaggerating. i don’t think i have ever cried so much in my LIFE. i’ve watched movies/tv shows where characters have died and still not been as devastated. after everything that happened, it just hit me like a train.

i know i was just saying last ep that i thought ep 10 was my fave, but i really think this one has taken its spot. i know the ending/preview has made this ep somewhat polarising, but all it did for me was make me love it even more than before. i felt every single thing that pat and pran were feeling down to my core, and it hurts like hell, but that, to me, is the power of a good piece of media.

that’s prob also why this is the toughest ep for me to write about. it just destroyed me so much emotionally.

i’m gonna preface this by saying that i DO think that pat and pran broke up with one another at the end of this ep (this is my current stance on things, but who knows, i could be completely wrong since i know bbs previews can be misleading...the only way we’ll know for sure how everything plays out is on friday). everything i write here is under the assumption that the break up really did happen.

i know so many of us had a knee jerk reaction to the end (believe me, i did too). but the more i rewatch the ep, the more clear it becomes to me that they ended things. plus, i don’t think that pran would go back to lying to his parents about this (he couldn’t even lie to uncle tong when they were running away). not when a lie was what started the whole family feud in the first place. besides, what would that achieve except making their parents even angrier at the both of them if they were discovered again? they’d just be living in constant fear like before...only it would be even worse now bc their parents would most def have them on a tighter leash than previously.

i don’t think pran would lie to his friends about it either (ep 12 preview) since there wouldn’t be a point to that. remember how upset wai got that pran never told him about pat in the first place? it doesn’t make sense to me that they would backtrack on that and make pran lie to his friends all over again. unless this is some kind of fake out like what they did with the ep 9 preview with korn...

not to mention, in ep 10 they publicly declared their love for one another in the ‘proposal’ scene. why would they go back into hiding again? it would just be a rehash of ep 7 all over again, which wouldn’t make sense to me narratively (esp with only one more ep left to go).

and most importantly, it would give the emotional resonance of what happened at the end of ep 11 much less impact if the break up wasn’t real. there’s a reason so many of us have been hit so hard by it. it seems sudden, but upon every rewatch, it makes more and more sense to me. this is the kind of ep that NEEDS a rewatch (multiple ones at that imo) bc things only really start clicking into place once the ending has given us context, like one of those movies with a plot twist that only gets better when you rewatch it from start to end again with the ending in mind.

take the very first scene in the bus, that already gives us a lot of the information that we need to know on where the two of them stand. pran KNOWS they’ll need to go back at some point, and he knows that his mum will never forgive pat’s dad (he doesn’t believe there is any hope of reconciliation). pat, on the other hand, isn’t ready to accept this yet. he’s still in denial, ready to escape it all and start a new life with pran (as he too believes that reconciliation between their parents is not on the cards). this ep is very clear in showing us that, although pat might be ready and willing to leave his family for pran, that’s not something that pran is able to do. it just takes a bit longer for pat to accept since he wants it so badly. pran, to his credit, is also trying really hard not to burst pat’s bubble since he wants to spend as much time with him as he can while he still has the chance. in the end, this whole trip is really just them running on borrowed time.

i don’t think this necessarily means that they KNEW they were going to break up here, but it feels like it’s already implied in the narrative (since going home is essentially code for ending things...and the fact that they aren’t on the same page about this from the beginning alludes to how this will play out). i really think this trip was them trying to make things work, but realising that they both won’t ever TRULY be happy even if they were to stay there together just the two of them (particularly pran, as he would miss his mother way too much).

i mentioned in my last post that pat is the hopeful, idealistic one and pran is more of a pessimist and a realist, and it’s never been more evident than in this ep.

but it also shows the depth of their love despite all their differences, and it’s one of my fave things about this ep as a whole.

i will never be over how pat’s always trying to comfort pran as best he can without showing him how torn up he is inside too :((( always trying to lighten the atmosphere when he sees pran's mind start to wander towards the worst of the ‘what if’ scenarios.

they played basketball in the novel...based on pat’s aim, i can see why that was changed to rugby 😭but i really do appreciate how light these next few scenes are after the intensity of ep 10′s ending/the beginning of this ep.

the sim card scene omg. pran knows pat SO well 😂 pran’s so good at figuring out pat’s tricks (and being the one to trick pat instead). it kind of reminds me of how he tricked pat in the line id scene in ep 1.

but i realise now that this also seems like it’s foreshadowing that they can’t truly let go of their pasts and escape. in the same way they’re unable to discard their sim cards, they’re still connected to their families and can’t break those ties completely.

the last time they were in this village, they were denying that they liked each other (even though they very clearly did)...now they’re shouting about how much they like each other at the top of their lungs. it’s the relationship development for me!! :’)

it must be so freeing for them to come back to the first place where they didn’t have to hide their relationship (at least when pran’s friends weren’t around). to come back to the place where their past history doesn’t matter bc no one knows and no one cares. i love that when pran told uncle tong the truth, he didn’t lecture them about it, just offered them support and a place to stay. he’s so great.

pat is still set on this being more of long term stay at this point, so it’s interesting to me that he’s the one that brings up that this is a honeymoon for them. calling it a honeymoon, though romantic, means that it eventually has to come to an end. it’s like he already knows deep down what the outcome will be, but he can’t admit it out loud yet. pran has already accepted this (it’s why he wonders if their parents are looking for them). pat hasn’t, so he pushes those thoughts away, refusing to talk about anything but the two of them for now. that’s why he makes pran play the game with him. he doesn’t want pran to dwell on those thoughts either...wants him to live in the present with him (but pran is an over thinker, and the game is only temporary...he can’t help but think about and miss his parents no matter how hard he tries to stay in the moment with pat).

i think it’s fairly obvious how junior’s struggle with going back home with his mother mirrors pat and pran’s struggle with going back home to their parents too.

the fishing montage scene is so cute though. just the two of them having fun. they’re GLOWING..i guess that what love does to you, huh. also, whoever styled the both of them in this scene did an a+++++ job js. the lack of buttons on pat’s shirt is giving his sleeveless look a run for its money 😂

the cooking scene reminds me of the conversation they had with junior in the truck in ep 6. pat’s talking about pran with junior indirectly again, only now it’s no longer about his ‘friend’, but his ‘lover’ instead. adorable.

but here we get yet another instance of pran missing his mother as he talks to junior about what a good cook she is while making her special sauce for them :(

pat making pran play the guitar again bc he knows pran misses it (despite him constantly saying he’s quit) though. i love that he reinforced their honeymoon rules here to let him know that this is a safe space. he can do what he wants without having to suppress his feelings the way pran is so used too ;;; and how could pran ever turn pat down?? (impossible).

something i find interesting about the scene when they’re talking to junior about how he wants to stay in the village (despite his mum’s objections), is that pat says “don’t believe everything she says, adults aren’t always right”. this indicates to me that they know that their parents are in the wrong in regards to their relationship (and it was wrong of them to pitt both of them against one another from the start). pat would, of course, feel especially strongly about this seeing as his father was DEFINITELY the one in the wrong in terms of the scholarship situation. but i do think it shows that they know their parents are wrong about this in general...and in the end, they didn’t end things bc they thought their parents were in the right in any way.

likewise, in the next scene when pran and junior’s mother are talking, when she mentions that he won’t have a future in the village and she’s glad that her mother didn’t allow her to stay in the village when she was young too, i don’t think that necessarily means that she’s right. i think it just implies that most parents want the best for their children. it doesn’t mean that it’ll always turn out that way, but parents are human too. they make mistakes, get clouded by their own judgement, which sometimes leads to them forgetting that their children are individuals with their own feelings and agency too.

that’s not to excuse any of the trauma or pain that they can give their children when their actions are too controlling (eg. pran’s mum). but, in the end, most parents think that what they’re doing is what’s best for their child’s future. it’s obviously not always the case, but i also kind of get it.

no child needs to forgive their parents for any trauma that’s been inflicted on them, but there are some that do, and those feelings are valid too. pran clearly loves his mother very, very much, and that’s something i understand down to the depths of my soul. just bc someone has hurt you doesn’t mean you automatically stop loving them.

on top of that, pran’s prob feeling especially guilty after their fight. he didn’t know about the whole scholarship issue before their fight, and he hasn’t seen his mother since finding out about it.

and honestly, they’re both still so incredibly young, and still very much financially (and emotionally) dependent on their parents. independence is something that they need to learn, and it’s something that comes with growth and experience.

when he asks junior’s mum if she feels lonely when he’s here, it’s the closest he can get to asking his mum the same question. the poor boy just really misses her :(((

back to pat and pran again and, as always, i’m in love with the way that pat tries to lighten the mood whenever he sees pran get too in over his head. they’re the perfect balance to one another. pat brings the levity, whilst pran keeps him grounded. they really challenge each other in the best ways.

pat is actually SO resourceful. he can charm his way into anything 😂 he’s just so spontaneous. i’m too much like pran...i could never.

love shot scene and pat making pran burp with him is hilarious, like pat is the ONLY person that can make pran do things like this (remember when pran was more than ready to eat that wonton that pat spat out of his mouth just bc pat challenged him to in ep 2?? they’re too competitive for their own good omg).

let’s talk about the way pat stares as pran here, heart eyes on display for everyone to see, as he looks longingly at the stage where the busker’s playing guitar. pat is whipped, enamoured, smitten, enraptured, captivated by pran...just every descriptor you can think of when it comes to love...that’s pat 😭 he. is. in. love.

pran’s happiness has always been pat’s top priority, which is why i should have seen what was coming from this one scene alone...

they get away with their differing stances on this trip for a little bit, but sooner or later they have to confront it. it’s been obvious since the start that the both of them have felt differently about what this trip means (to pran it’s only temporary, to pat he’s still thinking of it in the long term), so it was only a matter of time before they ended up butting heads about it.

to pat, seeing pran want to contact his mother reads like pran doesn’t want to be there (with him). so it hurts pat to feel like he’s alone in this...like he’s the only one that wants to be there.

this is clearly not the case bc pran loves him, he’s just torn bc he misses his mum and wants to talk to her. but they both know what that means for their ‘honeymoon’. they know that the minute they talk about their parents/bring up going home, then they’ll have to start thinking about what that means for their relationship (and it’s unspoken, but they both know EXACTLY what it means).

pat is trying so hard to make pran feel as accommodated and happy as he can while they’re in the village (eg. constantly cheering him up, getting him to play the guitar, getting them a permanent job). he wants for pran to be content, living here in the moment with just him, but it’s just not enough. it’s something that takes him a while to realise/admit, but being here in the long term will never make pran completely happy no matter how hard he tries. and it’s only once pat realises/admits this, that he knows that means they have to go back home.

he’s still not quite there yet though, hence the reason he gets mad.

okay, but when pat was about to throw that can onto the beach i had the same reaction as pran like sir, this is a ZERO WASTE VILLAGE what are you doing?????

i do love a sulky pat though :’) we don’t get to see him like this very often...and i love it when pran’s the one trying to make up with pat. the parallel pran mentions about how pat was the one that was trying to make up with him the last time they were there is actually so apt and adorable.

imo one of the best things about pat and pran’s relationship is that they can never stay mad at each other for longer than an entire scene. i was a little worried at this point bc, in so many other dramas, this would have been the moment where they had their big blow up and broken up with each other...instead it ends up being a misdirect. just this minor clash of heads due to their differences that’s easily dealt with. their fights are always resolved so cleanly. they get mad, cool off, and then talk to one another instead of letting things fester and build up into something bigger. it’s SO satisfying to watch them deal with things bc of how high the level of communication is between the two of them.

i know i was just talking about how pran wants to go home, but that doesn’t mean that he doesn’t want to stay too. he really, really loves pat. he would do anything he can to make sure pat is happy too. that’s what is so beautiful about their relationship. the reciprocity and care. he knows how much it means to pat that they stay here and take the job...and he wants to prolong their time together for as long as he can as well. so even though he misses his mum, he swallows down that feeling for now bc he knows that taking the job will make pat happy.

“i can be anywhere as long as i have you” 😭 pran doesn’t express his love in words all that much (more in actions), so it really does hit different when he vocalises his feelings like this to pat.

they’re honestly so. cute. it makes this ep hurt so much more.

oh god, okay. KISS SCENE. this scene is so outstanding to me in every way.

my fave part of this whole ep is basically when this scene starts until the very end. it’s just spectacular, and my heart is already in knots even just THINKING about the last two parts of this ep.

when they talk about their aspirations before the kiss, this is really important bc i think it’s at this point where pat starts realising that the both of them can’t stay here if pran wants to achieve his goals. notice how pran’s answers (interior designer and musician) require him to finish his studies (and also likely require financial support from his parents), but pat’s don’t (if he just wants to work in his own family’s business).

for pat, he could never be the reason for pran giving up on his dreams. pran’s mum’s future was ruined by pat’s dad, and he doesn’t want to echo what his father did to pran’s mother. he already feels guilty enough by association for what his dad did. it’s the clearest thing in the world to me that he would never, ever take that away from pran. especially knowing how much damage and trauma that caused both their families. all it did was lead to anger and resentment, and he won’t let history repeat itself. he loves pran way too much for that, and one of the things he wants most in life is to see pran succeed in whatever he does.

this scene feels like it’s pat slowly coming to the realisation that they can’t put off going home any longer. he knows that he has to let pran go BECAUSE he loves him. pat’s monologue on why he likes pran is just so thoughtful and sweet. with the end in mind, something about it reads to me like it’s already a goodbye of sorts. like he’s reminiscing on everything they’ve experienced (good and bad), and coming to terms with how much pran means to him. making sure pran knows it. the emotions are so bare.

and then, of course, the KISS. this kiss is sooooooo beautiful and languid. compare it to their rooftop kiss in ep 5, when there were a mix of built up emotions erupting out of them. back then, it was still more of a test on pat’s part, and it was desperation and franticness on pran’s part. like he was trying to hold onto the moment before it escaped him.

this kiss is a world of difference from that one. this kiss is a kiss between two people who are madly in love with one another. unlike rooftop kiss, it’s deliberate. the way it goes from slow and sweet at first, like they’re taking their time, to hungry and wanton after they take that breath and look at each other?? like they’re gonna make the most of all the time they have left just the two of them. they’re gonna make every second count.

i also love how authentically drunk the both of them look. despite all their differences, this is something they both align on completely. they feel the exact same way...full of love. pure love. and their flushed faces (esp pran’s!!) just show how drunk they are on the alcohol, as well as how intoxicated they are by their love for each other. the openness of it all just makes my heart twist every time i watch this scene.

but it’s in the little details, like how pran’s always the first one to open his eyes during their kisses, that also remind me of how he’s always thinking ahead. while pat, with his eyes closed, is always thinking in the now. this is one thing that hasn’t changed, just like in their ep 5 rooftop kiss.

i REALLY like that pulled away shot we get of them just before the kiss scene ends, where they’re the only ones lit up surrounded by the darkness. it perfectly encapsulates their entire situation. their love for each other being the only beacon of light amongst all the forces around them threatening to darken it.

i truly still cannot BELIEVE that we got a scene of them spooning in bed. the one thing i wanted most was for this show to have a scene of them cuddling, and then they gave me the softest, sweetest scene in the whole world!!!!!!!!!!

and just the fact that it was pran that was snuggling into pat?? sniffing him (you know he loves pat’s smell just as much as pat loves his, he’s just much better at hiding it), and then kissing the nape of his neck?? this is too much for me 😭 i’m as down bad as pran. i can’t believe he got energiser bunny pat tired out...must have been a wild night.

but in all seriousness, i love the simplicity of this scene. just two people in love...nothing more, nothing less. pran asking pat whether he was good in bed, and then asking him to rank him out of ten, is so cute (and SO on brand for how competitive the both of them are...i should have known this would be the case even in sex). pat teasing him a little before giving him the ten, and pran looking SO smug about it...i love them more than words could ever describe.

THE FOREHEAD KISS. i could genuinely cry about it for days (and literally have).

they really tried to scare us with pat waking up without pran being there and i wasn’t fooled for a second bc i knew pran would never just up and leave pat like that...like no way, it would never happen.

the morning after scene is when i think it all clicks into place for pat fr. the moment he sees pran with the guitar turning to look at him, blinding smile on his face...THAT’S when pat knows what he has to do. this is the only way he ever wants pran to look/feel. he loves pran’s face when he loses, but he loves it the most when he wins, and we all know pat’s stance on this (”when i have a lover, i always let my lover win”). the first time i saw this, i noticed how wistful pat looked, and i couldn’t place why he looked so sad here. it made so much more sense to me after i rewatched it bc this was the moment he knew they had to go back home. i know p’aof has said that this is his fave scene in this ep and i can totally understand why. it makes my heart ache in the most breathtaking way possible.

as junior’s whole journey in general mirrors what pat and pran are going through, when he chooses to go back to bangkok with his mother, i don’t think it’s a surprise to anyone. we know that pat and pran will follow suit too now that pat’s accepted that they can’t stay in the village forever. and pat seeing pran’s longing face as he watches both mother and son leave, further emphasises to me that pat has already made his decision. for pran’s sake, he can’t and won’t prolong this any longer.

i think most of us have established at this point that the red shirt scene is the two of them breaking up. imo the genius of this scene is that, while i could tell something was up the first time i watched it (there’s this melancholy feeling tied to pat’s words even though he’s smiling and saying such lovely things...and pran is literally crying), i only pieced things together after the ending was revealed and i rewatched this ep again. like even when i hadn’t fully understood what had happened, the second i saw pran tear up, i was tearing up too...so by the time i DID understand what was happening, i was a complete mess. even now, though i’ve rewatched this scene countless times already, it still gives me a lump in my throat. it still feels like someone is squeezing my chest.

there’s just so much sacrifice in this ep. pran sacrifices his feelings/desire to go back home for pat. by agreeing to the permanent job (and proving that he means it by being proactive in getting the uniforms for the both of them), it’s all to make pat happy (even if being here doesn’t truly make pran happy himself). he’s doing this bc he loves pat. he misses his mum too, sure, but those two things aren’t mutually exclusive.

but pat’s perceptive, we know this. and he’s been picking up all the signs that pran’s unhappy, big and small. and, like i’m constantly reiterating in every one of these posts, pat can’t stand to see pran sad...therefore he knows that he needs to sacrifice their honeymoon/time together so the both of them can go back home and pran can see his parents again.

pat knows that by forcing pran to stay in the village with him, pran will do it bc that’s just who he is, always putting the feelings of the people that he cares about first...but in forcing him to do that, pat would just be acting like everyone else in pran’s life. imposing the same expectations on him that pran’s had to grow up with his entire life. all it does is lead to pran suppressing his true feelings as usual, and keep any resentment he might have within him growing more with each passing day. and pat is the last person in the world that would do that to pran bc he knows all too well what that’s like.

there are so many dramas/movies that TELL me that two characters are in love, but this one SHOWS it to me. in every look, action, word...pat and pran are deeply in love with each other (have only fallen more in love with each other during this trip), and i believe it completely. that’s why this scene, this breakup, hurts so immensely.

to me, this is what true love is. it’s not toxicity or stupid misunderstandings for no reason, it’s just two people that are always willing to make sacrifices and put the other person and their feelings first. two people that are always willing to compromise. to communicate. this is love in its healthiest form. the both of them are so consistent in their emotional maturity.

and specifically, what i love so much about this break up is that neither of them even need to say the words out loud. it’s in between the lines just like the lyrics of pran’s song for pat (”but you and i know the meaning between the lines”). they weren’t on the same page at the beginning, but now they finally see eye to eye...and it’s not a “let’s break up”, but a “thank you for trying to make a silly guy like me happy. thank you for never leaving me. thank you for fighting alongside me. thank you for making me happy.” (thank you for loving and supporting me, you’ve done well and i love you) sort of a break up. it’s pat making sure that pran knows just how much he loves and appreciates him. and there’s something that’s simultaneously more beautiful and heartbreaking to me about their end being framed this way than if it had been made more explicit than this. it’s this heartbreak that permeates through everything. 

“from two people who can’t be friends, without knowing it, we become two people who can’t be just friends. i wrote this song for him” i’ll be thinking about this until the end of time. these words will live on within me FOREVER ;;;;

pat declared his love publicly for pran in ep 10, and pran’s dedication at the beginning, as well as finally finishing and singing the song that he wrote for pat, is pran’s own way of publicly declaring his love for pat. it’s quieter, but it’s on brand for pran (whilst last ep’s declaration was def more pat’s style). like pat wanted, he gets to experience pran’s first step in his career as a musician with this performance (whether he decides to pursue it later down the track or not)...and it’s a song crafted specifically for HIM. pran wrote a song about their entire journey up until this point. if i were pat, i would feel so incredibly touched too. it’s esp significant bc pat has always been there to encourage and support pran in his music, so to have two songs composed by pran in his honour is so profoundly heartfelt and meaningful.

it was sooooooo masterful of them to have made the intro the chorus this whole time. i’m kind of annoyed that it was spoiled for me before watching this ep bc it would have absolutely blown my MIND if i had found out while watching pran perform 😭like the fact that we’ve been hearing “our song” literally every single ep????? it gives SO MUCH more meaning to the intro. like it really is their song...it’s been threaded through this entire series since the start, and now every time i rewatch eps, i’ll be reminded of that. genius. also, it’s just such a great song?? it makes me emotional every time i hear it now.

THE DAMN MONTAGE. if there’s something that will break down ALL my defences, it’s a montage...esp one showing the growth of their love since they were kids :((( this wave of nostalgia hitting me as though I’M the one that’s lived through all of these moments...like they’re telling my own love story through these scenes.

oh god, i’m just glad that at least inkpaa are happy (they only had like 3 seconds of screen time but my poor, battered heart NEEDED that...and more importantly, i NEED them to remain happy for all of ep 12 too PLS). and waikorn?? idk why but i’m never expecting them until their scenes together come up again 😂 it really does show how far everyone has come since the beginning though...like so many things have changed.

i like how they use uncle tong’s environmental activism to represent pat/pran’s relationship. i think it’s clever of the writers to intertwine that with their story. when p’tong says “you might think that one man can’t change the world, but i want you to know that this world can’t change someone like me either”, it mostly just proves to me that, even with everything pat and pran have gone through (and will go through in the future), their love will remain unchanged. at this point in time, it feels futile to them bc of everything opposing their love (pat’s earlier “i don’t think one man can change the world”), but i really do think that that will change with time. right now, they’re both so young, they both have so much growing to do...but eventually, there’ll come a time where they’ll be able to properly fight for that unchanged love...bc if there’s one thing this ep made me sure of, it’s that they won’t stop loving each other despite the forces around them (their parents) pulling them apart. they’re just not quite there yet, but i believe it’s all part of their character/relationship development, and they’ll get to a point where they understand p’tong’s words fully and why he keeps trying even when things seem impossible.

i mentioned before how pat and pran’s love felt like a beacon of light in the darkness, and i think this break up might have dimmed it, but it’ll never be fully extinguished. this is actually one of the reasons i’m almost completely certain we’re getting a happy ending. i know we’re worried, but pat and pran have always found each other. fate has always brought them together, so i just know that fate will bring them together again once more.

i really, really love the editing during this whole sequence tbh. from the song and the montage playing, to p’tong’s words, to the alternate ending scenario, then back to reality again. it. broke. me. into. pieces.

seeing the two of them standing there all happy (during the 'what if’ scenes) juxtaposed with the reality of their situation????? that HURT. i had a feeling that the beach scene in ep 6 was going to come back in play at some point since it felt like it was left open for a reason, and we finally got to see why. all those imagined scenarios are something that they want so much but that they just can’t have right now :(((

you know what hurt me the most though?? pat’s stayed so strong and positive this whole time in pran’s presence, never letting pran see him cry, EXCEPT this scene at the end bc he just can’t hide his devastation anymore. pran’s very likely been anticipating the end since the beginning (perks of being an over thinker), so he’s more prepared for it than pat is. pat, on the other hand, has never thought about them coming to an end until this ep. all that foreshadowing was right, he IS the heartbroken one...

actually when pat started crying here, this was when it hit me what had happened. obviously, the ep 12 preview kind of confirmed it for me, but this was the moment where everything clicked into place for me. it’s like i was waiting for the other shoe to drop this entire ep...and then it did.

my personality is too much like pran’s, always expecting the worst so when it happens i’m prepared. when i watched this for the first time, despite all the sweet scenes, it always felt to me like there was a cloud hanging over them. this perpetual feeling of bittersweetness in the air...and i couldn’t place why until the very end when i saw pat’s tears, his “let’s go home” and pran’s “good luck, buddy”...THEN the final puzzle piece finally slid into place. and THEN i burst into tears.

the brief scene when pran finished playing and we saw a tear slide down pat’s face as he smiled just hammered what happened into place for me even more.

(it always gets me that when they first left for their trip, pran was the one that was bawling his eyes out...now that they’re back, it’s pat that has tears rolling down his face)...

so. the ending/ep 12 preview has obviously divided opinion on this ep and i completely understand why, esp if you were sure this one was going to be a happy one...and that pat and pran were gonna beat the odds and fight their parents. however, i think i was personally always a bit doubtful that would happen. in the tags of my last post, i mentioned that i thought something was going to go down at the end of this ep (and go down it did)...it just didn’t happen as dramatically as i thought it would (though it ended up being a lot more painful than i expected).

and i think it’s just a very personal thing. it makes you think about what you would do if you were in their position...and for me, when it comes down to it, i think i would do exactly what pat and pran did. i already mentioned that i’m too much like pran, and it’s true. personally, i don’t think i would ever be able to give up my family for someone i loved, no matter how much i loved them.

does that make what their parents are doing to them okay? absolutely not. do they deserve so, so, SO much better than this? 1000%. but i also understand this decision. there’s a discussion to be had for filial piety, which is obviously something that’s very ingrained in asian society (and is way too nuanced and complicated for me to even begin getting into)...and, yes, it can be toxic. but it’s not an easy thing to shake away when it’s a way of thinking you’ve grown up with your whole life. their parents fucked up, but it doesn’t surprise me at all that pran still loves and prioritises them. it’s also just consistent with his character, and how he puts his friends and family first before his own feelings. it’s consistent with pat’s character too, as he would never force pran to fight his own feelings. and they both know that currently (esp considering that pran’s mother only just revealed the truth about the scholarship in the previous ep), everything is still very raw. there’s really no hope for reconciliation...at least for the foreseeable future.

since pat’s dad is the main reason both their families are in this mess in the first place, it makes sense that he’s less forgiving of him than pran (whose mum was the one that was initially wronged). it’s easy to question why pran isn’t choosing to fight for their love, but based on how he broke down in the last ep after his fight with his mother, i don’t think he would have been able to bear fighting with his parents anymore about pat in his current state. he can’t even tell his mother that he’s still playing the guitar. he’s just nowhere near ready to handle the constant opposition that they’re sure to get. not to mention, the support of his family is something that he needs. pat would have paa at the very least, but pran is an only child and has no one else but his parents.

i don’t think that means that pran loves pat any less, but they have different priorities and ways of thinking. we know that pran is realistic and always thinking about the future, whilst pat is impulsive and prefers dealing with things in the present instead of thinking ahead. pat might feel that love is enough for them now, but pran knows that it isn’t. not in the position they’re both in atm. sometimes love just isn’t enough, especially if the timing isn’t right. they’ll both never be completely happy if they’re constantly at war with their parents, and esp if they’re still dependent on them as they so clearly still are.

most relationships, no matter how healthy, are heavily influenced by external factors and the environment around them. people that are madly in love with each other break up all the time bc of things they can’t control. pat and pran both know this, and i think that’s why they made the choice to break up. instead of letting their parents break down their relationship, and growing resentful at each other for it, they chose to end things when they were most in love BECAUSE they were in love. like a good memory. that means nothing can mar it or turn it toxic. and i don’t think either of them want to be the reasons that their relationships with their parents are fractured either.

this is the most painful type of breakup imo bc it’s mutual and done in love. it’s done with the both of them knowing what it means and accepting the heartbreak. it doesn’t need to be dramatic bc that would mean more energy spent on fighting/arguing, and less time spent just loving one another. they didn’t choose to make this a fight/disagreement, which is so different from all the other events that have happened to them that WERE dramatic (their relationship being revealed on stage by wai, their parents finding out about them and the fallout). it just further highlights to me how different their relationship is to all the other ones on the show. other than the external factors, their relationship has always been relatively drama free, and above all, loving. i mean even from the get go, they were supposed to be enemies, but they never truly were.

would it have been nice if pat and pran had run away together? had decided to defy their parents and fight for their love right then and there? yes. but this is honestly the most realistic scenario to me. i know that BLs are an escape, and that most of them have that very specific BL fantasy element to them (bad buddy is also no exception to this bc we can see those elements in parts of it as well), but there’s always been a sense of realism weaved into all of p’aof’s BL dramas...there are always parts that feel so authentic and real, like his own signature, so the direction the narrative took here isn’t really a huge shock to me in the end.

i’ve seen some people say that this is them letting their parents win, but i personally don’t see this as the case at all. i see it more as them giving in for now, picking their battles, and building up their strength to a point where they are better able to fight for their love and win for real (their parents are the final boss, after all). by not choosing each other now, they’re choosing each other and their futures first. also, goodbye doesn’t mean goodbye forever...and this is DEFINITELY not goodbye forever. at least this time they got to give each other a proper send off, and it wasn’t an abrupt transfer like the last time they parted.

which is why i actually don’t mind that there seems to be a time skip in the next ep?? i don’t tend to like time skips very much, but i can kind of see the purpose of one here. it means that they’ll have matured more, established themselves in their respective careers (so they won’t feel like they’re getting in the way of one another’s dreams anymore), and they won’t be as dependant on their parents once they’re older.

besides, the LONGING????? they’ll have had years to yearn for each other (and i love yearning). all of those factors make me feel like they’ll be in a much stronger position to resume their relationship and beat all the odds against them.

of all the eps on the show, THIS is the most beautiful one imo. the power of this ep is that it seems happy and sweet on the surface, but by the end you realise that it’s been an infamous cursed ep 11 all along, only you don’t know it until it’s over. the ending puts the whole ep into perspective. it’s like you’re watching it with two different lenses, and the rewatch is what recontextualises everything. it’s like p’aof subverted the ep 11 trope by making this a break up ep so subtle we didn’t even REALISE it was a break up. i think that’s why i love this ep so much, aside from how beautiful the romance is. i love when a show can throw me off and make me rethink everything i had thought initially (i love a good plot twist). and this was just so exquisite in its heartbreak bc it focussed more on their relationship and love than the actual break up itself.

also, if anything, the fact that this ended as angsty as it did has just further convinced me that we’re getting a happy ending (not to mention, it’s a p’aof drama so that makes me even more certain). yet, even though i think pat and pran will be fine at the end of this, it STILL leaves me with a gaping hole in my chest every time i rewatch it. amazing.

anyway, i think i’m finally done. my emotional stability is def still riding on ep 12...i can’t believe there’s only one more ep left and bad buddy will be over. i’m genuinely distraught over it and idk what i’m going to do with myself once this show is done... 😭

[konaizumi]

A Tale of a Thousand Stars ep 6 thoughts/reaction

the juxtaposition of the kites vs the cars, and what really makes the kites more fun is that its’ group activity whereas he’s alone with the cars

god, phupha is so fucking in love, i love how explicitly clear their affection for each other made even if they have a hard time saying out loud

i wanted nam to scold tian a bit more but im also glad that the scene was pretty soft bc i feel like tian would prob respond better to gentleness and if the dr had been really harsh that would’ve just made tian feel worse

but i love the conflict in this scene bc he knows dr nam is prob right but he can’t express the entirety of why he needs to be there and why he can’t return to his old life

phupha sensing that tian doesn’t really want to talk about what happened and not pressuring him with questions even tho he clearly wants to ask

the way tian’s voice cracks a bit when he’s talking about torfun

poor longtae tho finding out the news in that way

i’ve been waiting since ep 1 for the scene of tian braiding the girls’ hair

kinda torn bc i love the character growth of tian realizing that his actions have consequences that he cant solve with his dad’s money but at the same time it’s very frustrating to watch

not phupha being jealous over tul

poor tul must be so confused

phupha not being able to hide his smile when he smells tian’s hand

“it smells nice” the sachet or his hand

i am living for the longtae x tian friendship

tian lowkey trying to flirt his way into selling the sachets, then using longtae to flirt his way into selling the sachets

okay but the parallel between the kids asking about torfun when tian first got there to the kids asking about tian when he’s gone

character A asking children what character B thinks about them is such a high quality trope

also the kids asking phupha to ask tian to stay is so pure, also them lowkey threatening phupha so that he wont scare tian away

also how much does tian gush complain about phupha to the children lol

hey what is the ring that phupha wears on a necklace?

the image of phupha with the children climbing on him

tian “he’s a hot guy you know,” referring to how popular longtae was with the shopkeepers and phupha misunderstanding

i also really liked the jealousy for longtae this ep bc it wasn’t necessarily targeted at longtae (like it wasn’t personal) it was more the fact that it played into phupha’s existing insecurities that tian would be better suited with someone his own age that he connects with, plus longtae goes to college in the city and can relate more to tian in that sense

cant tell if tian is actually that dense and didn’t realize phupha meant himself when he said he wasnt alone or if he was just teasing phupha

i love how much screentime the children had this episode, they’re so precious

lol tian realizing that tourists would go nuts for bags with names of poor children who made them

im so proud of tian for coming up with this idea and helping the villagers

phupha’s cute little thumbs up

phupha’s smirk when tian turns around, he’s so proud of himself for his little joke

someone needs to make a crack video using that audio that’s like “a love story told entirely in stares...and more stares...and even more stares”

god tho, just they way they stare at each other and start smiling then start laughing, it’s so sweet and intimate

tian and longtae: *discussing serious things like torfun* phupha: really? flirting? right in front of my salad?

phupha is one of those rare well written tsundere characters

phupha getting excited about another date with tian then disappointed when tian isn’t coming with him

phupha is such a child and i love him

sakda need to leave tian tf alone

we love some product placement (but i will give them a pass bc it was pretty cute)

i am also living for phupha x nam friendship, that whole interaction where phupha is trying to stop nam from embarrassing him but trying to do it discretely so no one sees

kinda random but i enjoy the little details like the signs on all the boxes with the sachets were written by different people bc there’s several different handwritings

the fucking fondness in tian’s gaze literally every time he looks at phupha this ep

tian is literally telling you to tell him your feelings phupha, please just end all our suffering

also the way phupha subtly alludes to some of his insecurities and tian shuts it down saying he likes the way phupha is

phupha, are you really the same person who blatantly smelled tian’s hand then gave him that hand massage earlier?

okay but the way tian gets so hopeful when phupha asks him to stay and he keeps trying to get phupha to say he wants him to stay

yod, i love you so much, but i really want to strangle you right now

but that scene really was so good, earth and mix did a really good job bc they conveyed so much without words

but damn i really did think they were gonna get somewhere this ep (but no worries bc they’re going somewhere next ep)

“they will know that your heart has come back to them” is such a poetic line and i really do like the meaning behind it, i just wish tian didn’t mean it in such a self-deprecating way

not me crying at the way phupha cuddles the fucking tea sachet

tian, don’t run into the fucking burning building! think about your heart! think about my heart!

but poor tian bc this building is really his new home as much as his hut is and to see it being burned down

but damn this is really the third time he’s collapsed in phupha’s arms

at least they include a cute fluffy scene at the end of each ep to make up for the angsty cliffhangers

where do i even start with the preview for next week

i really hope they kiss but im worried tian will ruin the mood by bringing up torfun (but also i hope he does finally talk about torfun and get it out there already)

i really can’t wait for next week

anyways, this was such a good ep (like always), quality character development, quality phutian moments, we’re really starting to get into the conflict now

[clandestine-j]

Gossip Girl Reboot, Ep. 2 Reaction / Review

This was posted on reddit first, crossing posting it here since I’ve chosen to review the ep’s and post on tumblr as well. So, this post is geared more towards reddit as a whole, this was posted a day after ep 2 aired.

i don't have a favorite character rating but #teamaki, yeah, the acting is awkward but it's getting better and it's not like it's the only bad acting in the show. i like the character either way.

now

people are so extra with zoya and obie and are looking at julien with the rose colored classes. yeah, obie shouldn't be dating zoya but let's not act like julien gave her all and everything to him. from the conversation with zoya in ep 1, his general feelings, audrey calls it out (maybe because she always feels that way)

She admits it at the end, she wouldn’t do the things he wanted when it came to his interest, he’d want to do random and fun things and she’d blow him off...how is this mart of someone fully invested in their other, no, she was invested what he did for her and how he made her feel. She misses him because in their other breaks he’d always come back. We saw a dying relationship and ppl can assume a lot about him but make 0 assumptions when it comes to her.

And then y’all expect Zoya to turn down the one person who’s actually nice, doesn’t ice her out and shares interest? What I want more than anything is for Zoya to find her own friends & her romantic interest, just one episode where her life isn’t an extension of Julien's. Idk wut, maybe she can go off on a find out gossip girl adventure. Idk something.

Then this talk about sisters and sister hood. Yeah, they’re blood related but what sisterhood is there? You say that’s is wrong for Zoya to do that to her sister but what about what her sister did to her? Even in this ep, she wants Obie so instead of idk driving Zoya away from him, she attacks her lil ‘sis’ over her long time boyfriend. She continues to let her friends talk bad about the girl. We can talk sister hood when she gives the mean team a good “learn me or leave me” when it comes to Zoya

At the of ep 1 Zoya says, she’s not playing the game. She’s grounded in fear of losing her scholarship, has already lost her dads trust. So she does that, she keeps her head down and doesn’t bother anyone but it’s the mean team to prompt Julien to after Zoya and she does. She’s minding her business at the even and Julien is the one to storm over and cause a scene. And it’s all about her, she’s scared of her dad finding out without any care that Zoya has lost and what she has left to lose. Of course she doesn’t care about Julien personal problems? When did Julien care really about hers? Then, she wants to sneak away and have fun and because she’s mad Zoya won’t run off and hide like a hood little girl, she once again collabs with GG, brings in the dads and fucks her sisters life up, AGAIN. Yeah, she changed her mind at the end but too little too late. Her come to jesus moment was great but the relationship she wanted/wants it very much damaged.

So yeah, Zoya dating the one person who has empathy for her is not as bad as the older sister who consistently let her be talked down, about and two, plotted with GG and didn’t even ask her if she was okay because, she didn’t mean it, it’ll blow over. Even in the very last apology when Zoya was about to leave, you could see that she had 0 faith in Julien, not only as a sister but as a person.

Which leads me to saying that Julien is probs the most interesting character of the show. She’s lovable and flawed and she is good but she as of right now, she’s mean at worst and horribly complicit at best because right now her career is a bit more important but her 14 year old sister doesn’t deserve the headache of navigating her with her. But I do love Julien because she has layers and I think by the end, she’ll be able to have her influencer career without compromising herself. That does lead us to the the chairmen and co-chair of the mean team.

Monet and Luna weren’t around as much but I do think...I do think...that if Julien goes nice, they’re gonna go super nasty. They have access to her life which mean access to that video if Julien didn’t out right delete it or they find out about it and snooping. They’re her friends but unlike her, they don’t have a much of a Conscious so far of right and wrong and they’ll strike anyone down. I think if we have wild cards, they’re it. If Julien really does go down a new path, learns more to fight for what matters and understand the real her is just as likable, the mean duo will not accept and will try and bring her down. They have their own meaning of friends with benefits.

My dude Obie, I can’t say much. I don’t think he’s as Malicious as y’all make him out to be but he is a bit callous and naïve...which could be worse tbh. I think he does want to do good but he only knows Performative good to counter-act his parents. I do want him to get with someone else but I do hope he learns what true activism means through Zoya and understand how much of a difference he could make if he really put his mind to it. I also want him to learn get out quick, because he wasn’t just looking for a reason to end things but one to stay and Julien didn’t give him that.

Audrey, I like the stuff with her mom. I like the little bit more depth we got, she slept with Max maybe but Aki made out with him, who am I to judge? I hope her mon can step up in the future but I don’t think it’ll be easy and hopefully they explore it more. Not just tease us. Her mom needs therapy but I think I'm a bit invested in her too.

Max, I love max but the dude is Pretentious ~ above earthly love ~ low key a shitty friend and talks in metaphors whenever he has the chance BUT he does it well. I don’t see him with Aki but I want it! I do see him going harder after Audrey but I think he was a bit shocked for all his flirting that he was into the kids with Aki. I think he lives to play with people. I don't know if he really likes Audrey but he does want to bang her, a lot, a lot a lot. I don't think he really wanted to sleep with Aki but he did like playing with him and he could pick up the fact that Aki might be feeling him. I don't think the interest was really, real until Aki kissed him at the pool, home boy was shocked and was like oooo maybe something is there but his focus is on the teacher. And I also think the not in a million years thing had his gears turning too. You tell him it can't or won't happen and now he wants to make it happen.

Aki, my baby, my voice of reason. What makes him great as a person, makes him not great for Audrey when it comes to emotional stuff. He means well and I get where he's coming from with wanting Audrey to understand her mom but she did need a partner. The thing she loves about him is the thing that makes it hard. I don't know how Aki was brought up but I feel like this plays into it, she's always comparing him to a therapist. I wonder if his parents a bit more emotionally cold or curt or just very analytical people. But, like he's been lovely since ep one, the only one of the group to sort of defend Zoya or Julien wanting to know her / keep her secret. (What secrets does he have?) And in ep 2, he really was like 'ya'll fucked in the head' to the mean team. I know some consider him boring because he doesn't speak up often but when he does speak up, he got something to say. I want the show to use him in a way to stir drama just by being friends, his character doesn't have to have a dramatic effect and he could get his own little subplot that's tied into the show but like, my can't become some douche. (If he does, only for a bit.) Now, I don't see Max being endgame for him AT ALL. If it's between the two, Max would go for Audrey for sure while leading my boi on in ways, he could even really start to like him but endgame no. I'd love to see a scene with Max does get jealous of Aki with another dude, in a romantic way or the dude could be hitting on him, I think Aki would be able to humble him just a bit because no one really seems to know what he's thinking. In the end, idk who he ends up with but I want him to find someone who will do my dude right and he should get some non-shitty friends who'll listen to his problems. (Still not over that Max)

The teachers while being shown more, don't have much of a presence. It's mainly Kate and the goofy one for extended scenes. KATE MY GOOD SIS. NO. Please, I want this to be the point where she loses GG somehow and someone takes over or maybe another GG pops up, can market better and isn't willing to have a faltering moments. I want it to spiral. Spiral hard. Also, sexy teach said not on my watch ezra! I stan him. Teachers are still fun for me, they make me want to never teach at a dumb rich private school.

Also, fuck the dads within reason. Esp, Julien's dad but only because we got to see Zoya's more and he is kinda in the right about most of the stuff but not the sister stuff. You can tell he's doing his best to instill morals in his daughter esp when he knows she can fall to outside influences.

Overall, I'm still enjoying it, I'm invested. I see room for growth for all of the characters (maybe not the teachers) and I want to see it play out. It does feel a little rushed but I think they're finding their footing and they have some big things to pull. But's not horrible and if they just play the drama bit longer and then conclude, it wouldn't feel that way. Maybe one more episode or half an episode could've been added to the Zoya-Obie-Julien story line to fully flush it out but I like the ending. Not sisters, not friends but cool with each and possibly re-build, at worst they just don't interact. I noticed some cool things with the promos but I need to confirm when I can find the one for 3.

Sorry if it went from all lower case to proper-ish, I had to switch to my phone and it auto-does it.

[mego42]

1x08 discussion questions

blah blah blah clever intro, most importantly, thank you @pynkhues​!! I really appreciate rewatch nights. s3 was my first experience watching live/with people and that was obvs a more, erm, contentious experience so it’s been really nice to get to kind of mulligan that with the rewatch.

ANYHOO onward!

1. What was your favourite scene of the episode? Tell us why!

the spa robbery, I could talk a big game about the montage editing and beth’s dress (which are all worthy points) but at the end of the day? it’s the robes, they just do it for me. they’re so snuggly and they have hoods.

2. Was there any scene that missed the mark for you? And if so, how?

tbh while there was a lot of delightful elements about this ep, the whole thing is largely underwhelming to me and rewatching reminded me why I often forget about most of it.

3. This episode opens with Beth discovering that the money is gone – not just the fake cash that she’s washing for Rio, but the cut of what they’d already washed too. What do you think this tells us about Rio’s mentality and approach as an employer / boss?

maybe if he weren’t such a dick and the kind of boss that breaks into your house to take back your paycheck, beth wouldn’t be so inclined to shoot him.

4. This episode also features the start of a really pivotal arc for Ruby and Sara around crime, and Ruby’s worries about Sara somehow inheriting that part of her. Do you think Ruby was right to react the way she did in this episode? Was there a better way she could’ve handled it?

I mean what else was she gonna do? be cool with it? who is she, darren’s parents? I love the nuance retta and reno bring to that scene, both with their reactions and empathy for why sara did it and also the way stan backs ruby in front of sara to present a united front. It’s just excellent parenting all around imo.

5. What do you think this episode tells us about Annie and Nancy’s relationship prior to the series starting? Do you think Nancy feels threatened by Annie? Or vice versa? How do you think they’ve negotiated their respective places in Greg and Ben’s lives?

honestly the hair oils comment makes me holler bc I feel like that’s nancy’s version of I see you being a dick and I’m going to pretend I don’t to take the wind out of your sails but also you’re dirty and garbage and get off my fancy couch. the way both actresses play it, the conflict feels so lived in I can’t see how it isn’t a long standing thing, but then the way nancy opens up (both in this ep and then in s2 at the baby shower) makes me feel like annie’s been the driving force in them not getting along up to this point.

6. The spa heist! What did you think of it? Good? Bad? Tell us all your thoughts!

I mean it was a terrible idea that rested on being able to unload botox to a 17 boy who sells pot and hallucinogens in a grocery store parking lot. the execution was neat, but any scenario where dean is able to pick up the pieces and save the day is obviously flawed in some fundamental way.

7. In a lot of ways, Annie’s ‘slow boil’ comment to Beth feels like it’s been a long time coming. When do you think Ruby and Annie realised that Beth got something beyond just financial fulfilment from crime? And do you think they know the full extent of it at this point in the episode? Hell, do you think they know the full extent of it in s3?

I think ruby and annie know beth well enough to know she’s getting a happy little zip out of crime-ing no matter what she says about it. the part I think they don’t/may still not realize as of s3 and/or are starting to realize as of s3 is how far and how dark she’ll go

8. Let’s talk about Beth’s sales pitch to / second date with Rio! Do you think it was a good pitch and Rio missed an opportunity? Do you think Rio was genuinely there to hear her out, or was he just entertaining her? And this is the first time he brings up the idea of her being a boss (via, well, her not being one yet). Do you think he sees her as that yet? Or if, again, he’s just entertaining her?

It was a terrible pitch but hysterically depicted. I love christina, she did a note perfect rendition of every single software sales rep I’ve ever encountered. rio was, imo, 1000000000% humoring her on the specifics of the pitch once he realized what she was trying to sell him.

that said, I think the boss encouragement was an organic evolution of how he’s been watching her step up over the past few eps and recognizing her overall potential to think creatively and take charge. the you don’t need it comment, on the other hand, always feels a touch out of place to me

9. How do you think Annie felt about the news Nancy was trying to get pregnant? And do you think she would’ve broken up with Greg if Nancy wasn’t?

I think she felt absolutely wretched about it, though based on later eps (is that cheating?) I think she would’ve tried to give it a shot with greg if that hadn’t been a hurdle. the getting preggo situation was def a significant factor for her, probs at least in part because she is obvs intimately acquainted with the trials and tribulations of single motherhood and isn’t trying to force that upon nancy if she can help it.

10. Mary Pat has two pretty tight scenes in this episode where she has power plays with Ruby and then later Beth. What did you think of these scenes? And how do those exchanges compare with each other?

mary pat runs circles around them in her bumbling, oh shucks me gotcha way and I love it. I feel worse for ruby who’s basically like please oh please just let me live, but beth 100000% strolled into that house trying to pull her we’re just moms in this together schtick but with an alpha twist (shout out to @gild-and-fire‘s which gg character are you quiz you should absolutely take if you haven’t already) and mary pat looked her up and down like do not even try to pretend you don’t wrap a fake bill around your vibrator before you get off with it. classic.

11. Ruby finds out about Eddie’s arrest! We talked a little about Eddie’s loyalty last week, but how do you think the arrest went down between Stan and Eddie?

ooh like did it involve the handcuffs stan brings home to ruby? kinky.

[bionicdragonguardian1]

Ranma 2/4

Yup... I’m doing it... yes this how I plan, shut up

Part One: Chapters 1-12

Genderfluid Ranma Saotome

Bisexual Akane Tendo

BAMF!Akane if it kills me

More modern America take on LGBTQIA+ themes

Bisexual Ryoga Hibiki

Fuck the Kunos

Full Series AU because I am a fool who doesn’t know restraint

Magic Rules are a thing

I am actually going to keep a consistent timeline if it kills me

I have a PLAN

Very Minor changes to the actual plot cuz economics

Bad Parenting is addressed

Harassment is Addressed

I will make them acknowledge Physics/Medical because I’m an asshole

Pulling from both the Anime and the Manga

Still working through the Manga as I plot

Friendly reminder that Genma is crap

Friendly reminder that Nodoka is crazy

Poor Mousse

Soun Tendo TRIES really hard but grief fucking sucks

Nabiki is morally grey

Toxic Shampoo

Kasumi gets Character Development or so help me

polyship cuz surprises

I promise I do love this anime

I’m just stunned that so many people didn’t get a lot of character development

Actual fucking ENDING

I do actually hate Shampoo tho

I watch dubs

Ranma slowly starts using they/them pronouns vs switching

Ranma wears a bra, fuck you

Yes I’m using 2020 LGBT stuff BUT I will keep the tech as close to the 90s as I can (tho fair warning I was BORN in the 90s)

Toxic Masculinity addressed (yes I mean Ranma’s)

Ranma is awkward as hell

bc that’s what happens when you isolate a child, Genma!

Also, they spent closer to 1-2 months in China bc of how many things happen while they’re there

Homophobic/Transphobic Language

Ranma uses Ranko WAY more often cuz it makes sense

Tatewaki is actually not as stupid as he is in canon, but he’s worse

Kodachi… on the other hand... IS stupid

Canon Heights are used (hence the “actual magic” tag, it’s how Kuno explains it and is still wrong)

Ranma is a shitty liar, and trusts his friends (kinda)

I’ve never like Shampoo, I don't hide that

While reading the manga I’ve realized how often Ranma wears a hat in the early chapters

I love it

Laws Exist

Rule Enforcement

Adults aren’t useless

Demiromantic Ranma

Ace/Demisexual Ranma (I haven’t decided yet)

Demiromantic Akane

Pansexual Ryoga

YES Akane is Bisexual AND Demiromantic. It’s a thing!

Genma is a sonnova bitch and piece o shit

Diasuke x Hiroshi

Sayuri x Yuka

Polyamory discussions

Hiroshi x Yuka

Protective Ranma

Protective Akane

Protective Ryoga

Tendos adopt Ryoga bc they care

Cologne sucks, I didn’t realize that was justified until now

Minor Anime over Manga Arc Choices

People aren’t oblivious those around Ranma a lot pick up on the transformation thing (eventually)

Ryoga’s crush on Akane turns into something normal, I may be ~Aro but even I know that’s bad

The “Akane Can’t Cook” Joke was funny once or twice; NOT the whole series Akane learns to cook

WAY fucking sooner than she did in the Anime

Look, I get the stereotype but it’s NOT funny!

Manga Chapt6Pt3 cover gave me too many ideas for what I want to do to Ryoga & IDK how I feel (Tiny pigtailed girl Ryoga is just too cute that I want to drop him the niángnìquán)

I will use Wiki-Mandarin-Spellings for Jusenkyo Springs cuz I don’t understand a lick of Chinese

Certain Arcs will be skipped entirely because I HATED THEM (any time they showed up)!

YEET Tea Ceremony Arc(s), mainly cuz an outsider I didn’t get it like I’m sure I was supposed to

If I could just kill Happosai I would, but I can’t

Expect him to be VERY dead/gone post-Canon

Fair warning tho cuz I hate him more than I hate Shampoo or Cologne

Shampoo still sucks

I wish the scene w Hiro/Dai was in the Anime cuz it’s hilarious

Ranma’s hat is back! I love it!

Is… is Ranma ADHD or is that me projecting again?

God, these two are hopeless dorks

Was someone going to TELL me that Ranma’s classmates figured out the transformation BEFORE the Romeo thing or was I just supposed to sit there stunned when it happened?!?

Goddammit, I hate Romeo and Julliet

I don’t mean the ep, I mean the play/movie/etc cuz my school years have done it 1.6 million times that I just can’t stand it anymore

Gosunkugi… wtf is wrong with you?

STILL hate this play

I’m American, ok

this has been shoved down my throat since I was 8 so It never occured to me that Ranma not knowing Romeo & Julliet at all wouldn’t be weird

Ranma learns his lines (kinda)

Kuno is 600% the reason they go off script

...And Gosunkugi being creepy af

TBH where they go off script (like Akane’s sleep scene) I’ll probs redo purely cuz I know this play

Still hate this play

Lol, tape ain’t a thing, that’s hilarious

Ranma kissing Kuno, yes

Akane kissing Ranma, NO

It’s called FAKING it

You either get over it or learn to fake it

Is it wrong that it’s tempting to get rid of P-chan in chapt8?

Don’t answer that… I know it is

Akane you need to learn to trust Ranma

Like seriously… that’s the 1 thing that drove me batty

100% going for the Anime version of the Japanese Speong of Drowned Man cuz it’s funnier

(I’m still tempted to change Ryoga)

Since the Cookie thing came before any comment about Akane’s cooking (Anime) I just figured Ranma was like me and can’t eat a ton of processed sugar (yes, make you that sick) so... HEADCANON!!

But Ranma’s still awkward af talking about it

Yup, subbing out Sasuke for Gosunkugi

Ranma not realizing his dad was committing crimes NEEDS to be handled better

I see angst potential

Ukyo is def still cis-fem, that point at least works

Ukyo’s dad is NOT in the clear here

Friendly reminder that Genma TOLD Mr. Kuonji that Ranma had a fiancée

Jealous Ranma’s fun

Ranma… just cuz you’ve 6.5k fiancé doesn’t mean everyone does

I’m just saying, Ryoga only falls for Ranma

Is Ranma wearing a binder while cursed bad? I honestly don’t know…

Poor Ranma, I’d DIE!

Obvs changing the rules of the pill from “first person of the opp sex”

I’m thinking “first person you’d be attracted to” cuz it’s nice and inclusive and won’t make someone fall for someone they wouldn’t normally

I’m just tryin’ to avoid some gayboy from fallin’ for a girl or some straight girl fallin’ for a girl

I mean Ranma’s still gonna Insta Cologne

Rule gets stricter the longer the pill lasts

also incest needs to be excluded

Look, I am NOT condoning Mousse’s obsession

but Shampoo still sucks

Is me making Tsubasa mtf bad?

Someone tell me cuz I’m not sure

I think I accidentally made Ukyo transphobic… oops

Redemption? Hopefully, idk yet

Do you realize how much anti LGBT shit I have to work through?!?

Tsubasa’s issue is 600% that she’s a lesbian so Ranma being a guy (even sometimes) weirds her out which for the record is FINE since they haven’t been dating at all & Ranma didn’t tell her!

The ½ white ½ brown dog IS actually Ryoga’s?!?

I didn’t know I needed this!

Also she’s staying!

Is Sasuke an Anime character?!?! Idk how I feel about this…

Ranma is a little shit & I love it

My idea may’ve been wrong (and Ranma!) but I love the idea had that I’m tempted do it anyway

Alright, Ranma is def going too far… even I can admit that

I’m quite sad this arc wasn’t animated

I don’t know which one I want! Kuno sick vs sneezing cat?

I can’t pick!

They’re both perfect!

Yup, Shampoo is evil

Akane… tone down the weapons kay?

[jcmorrigan]

Shattered and Mended

The F/O? XR from Buzz Lightyear of Star Command. The S/I? Rachel Sparks - fifth ranger of Team Lightyear with a big heart for justice (and no glasses in this ‘verse because I suppose Nebula would surgically augment my eyes to make sure Zurg couldn’t rip the glasses off and stomp on them, which is a Zurg tactic). The writings I did for XR are actually from a rather structured AU that runs alongside the whole show, and tell versions of episodes that are impacted by my s/i’s existence. This one goes with the ep “Eye of the Storm,” though it takes off after that ep’s timeline ends and does a whole other act that’s just basically a sickfic. This is actually probably the longest selfship piece I’ve written, but I love it because of the shenanigans.

Also, if you can guess what three works of fiction I appropriated for the bingewatch show, cookies for you.

***

It was a typical week for Team Lightyear. Answer a distress call, discover it was made by the daughter of a mad scientist (former Star Command researcher Spiro Lepton, in fact, though he now preferred to go by “von Madman,” apparently) in order to lure Team Lightyear into said mad scientist’s clutches, beat mad scientist after literally everyone on the team made him stronger by consecutively using energy-based attacks on him despite seeing the previous efforts fail, send mad scientist to jail, learn that mad scientist’s daughter isn’t so bad after all, learn that mad scientist’s daughter has a crush on your team leader, go out for group lunch at Cosmo’s.

           Cosmo knew by this point that he was best served getting Booster’s order off the oven first, meaning Rachel had to try and keep the saliva of hunger from escaping her lips as she watched him devour an entire plate of squirming curly fries in one go. Hot, crispy, lightly-spiced curly fries. Maybe she should’ve ordered that, she wondered, instead of the spurfion rings. At least this time, XR hadn’t forgotten he couldn’t eat curly fries and tried to put one in his mouth.

           Booster remarked that it was the perfect way to top off the day after defeating evil, and that seemed to be the cue for the reply: “Daddy wasn’t always evil. He used to be a good man.”

           Rachel wondered how exactly Bonnie had tracked them all down. It was a little creepy. In the grand scheme, however, that hardly mattered, as Rachel could read the dismay on Bonnie’s face. It couldn’t have been easy, living with the burden of having a man who literally renamed himself “madman” as your parent.

           Bonnie concluded her statement with “Just like Buzz” and turned to place her hands on Buzz’s shoulder and forearm.

           Rachel could sense Buzz’s discomfort immediately; he’d tensed up so hard, she could feel it from across the table. They’d all been briefed on Buzz’s history with Bonnie, and Rachel could hardly blame him. Erasing the memories he had of her as a child couldn’t be easy. Rachel pictured it for a minute – looking at Bonnie’s sultry expression and overlaying a grade-schooler’s gap-toothed visage over top. This prompted a shudder. Creepy.

           It got worse; as Buzz tried to convince Bonnie that her father had gone off the deep end (his black-and-white morals would be the death of him, but wasn’t that what made him lovable?), Bonnie begged him for attention, climbing into the booth, crawling toward him, attempting to pin him down. Rachel suddenly lost all sympathy for Bonnie Lepton. She now seemed almost predatory, physically positioning herself to fence Buzz against the window, making it clear what she wanted. Rachel wondered if she should step in, but found herself frozen, unsure exactly what move to make.

           Mira, as usual, decided to go the direct route, pulling Buzz toward her by the collar and hissing, “Can’t you see she has a huge crush on you?”

           Upon affirming this, Buzz returned to Bonnie; “It’s perfectly natural for you to have feelings for me. But they’re meaningless! It’s the classic damsel-in-distress syndrome. I rescue you, you go all moony!”

           That wasn’t how Rachel would’ve described Bonnie’s demeanor.

           Mira had nothing to say to this but a facepalm.

           It got worse when Buzz said he’d seen this dozens of times, to which Bonnie told him “I thought I was special,” and Rachel didn’t know where she could’ve gotten that idea at all, seeing how Buzz had done nothing but brush her off and turn her down and was she physically unable to take a hint?

           “Sorry, kiddo,” Buzz told her. “Just doin’ my job.”

           At least Buzz had been able to stand up for himself. Rachel felt quite protective of him in that moment; Bonnie certainly wasn’t the sort who would give up the chase easily. Could she not see how uncomfortable she was making him? Did she not get the concept of how their history was complicated? Did she not –

           But as Bonnie was pulling away from the table, XR tried to intercept her. “Hey, I think you’re special!” he said, pouring on the charm far too thickly as he clasped one of her hands in both of his own. “Aaaand, since you’re new to civilization and all, I should tell you – “ He whipped about to produce two mirrors from his inventory. “I am considered quite the looker!”

           Now Rachel had something to be even more upset about.

           Mira hissed “XR!” at him, not without a quick, pointed glance toward Rachel that informed her of the pure rage surging through the blonde.

           “That’s all right,” Bonnie said, flirtily planting a kiss on XR’s helmet –

           It’s that easy? Rachel thought. What makes you think you can just do that?

           “At least he’s treating me like a GROWN WOMAN,” Bonnie asserted.

           No, Rachel thought, he’s treating you like a piece of meat, and this should be why I’m glad we’re just friends, why I’m glad he doesn’t do this shit to me, but that still doesn’t explain why I’m the only woman in the entire galaxy he hasn’t even looked at –

           “Unlike a certain STUFFED-SPACESUIT JARHEAD ROCKET JOCKEY I KNOW,” Bonnie fired off as XR whooped his joy at having been kissed.

           There was nothing about this Rachel didn’t hate.

           “What?” Buzz asked when Bonnie had left. “What’d I say wrong?”

           “I don’t even KNOW where to begin,” Mira grunted.

           “Oh, no, Buzz was fine,” Rachel growled. She leaned out over the table to point accusingly at XR; “But can YOU stop being a perv for literally TEN SECONDS? Or is that a standard function of your programming, to be a complete and total creep toward every woman you cross paths with?”

           “If I can remind you, SHE was the one who kissed ME,” XR boasted proudly.

           “That was a pity kiss,” Rachel snarled. “You’re lucky you didn’t get your entire head smacked right off, which is what I would’ve done if I were her and didn’t know you.”

           “You’re just jealous that I’m a babe magnet,” XR teased. “You WISH you could get the attention I do.”

           Of course, he didn’t know exactly how hard that hit. That didn’t make a lick of difference.

           Rachel made a loud, wordless scream of frustration before forcing herself to be calm long enough to say “Mira…Booster…please let me out so I can storm away in a rage.”

           Seeing Rachel’s temper flaring as hard as it was, Mira and Booster wasted no time evacuating the booth so Rachel could stomp angrily toward the women’s restroom.

           Buzz watched her in confusion. “Is she…ah…is she gonna be okay?”

           “I just want it on record that I did NOTHING wrong here,” XR stated, arms folded.

           Mira buried her face in both hands. “Booster, you, me, and Rachel are the only three smart people left at this table.”

           “But Rachel’s not at the table,” Booster pointed out. “Maybe you should go after her, since…you know…you’re the only other woman here…”

           “No,” Mira sighed as she raised her face, “she needs to be alone right now – “

           Buzz was already making way toward the restrooms.

           “I SAID SHE NEEDS TO BE ALONE RIGHT NOW!” Mira yelled, to no avail.

           “SOME people just don’t know when they’ve crossed the line,” XR commented, earning him angry glares from Mira and Booster.

           Rachel paced back and forth across the women’s room for a bit, reminding herself not to examine the floor too long for fear of seeing the level of grime that was actually there and touching her boots. How dare he? No, he couldn’t know, but the fact that he was accusing her of being jealous of his ability to attract attention (which he didn’t even have; Bonnie was just as much of a shameless flirt as he and he had the luck to cross her path) when in fact, she did want to be able to attract attention, but only of one person, the worst person, the person who should have just proven she shouldn’t want to be anything more than friends with, and he was lucky to even be that –

           Frustratedly, she began to sing in hopes of getting rid of some excess negative energy, hardly thinking about the song itself.

           Why did she even still like him? He’s terrible, she told herself. But she couldn’t believe that anymore. Not after he’d engineered that entire scheme to get her un-fired from Team Lightyear. Not after their conversations regarding how messed up they both were in the head. Not after their deal, trading janitorial work for office work. No, they were at the very least friends now, and Rachel had to live with that, and the very act of being friends with XR kept reminding her of what was good about him, and what made her admire him, which clashed so horribly with when he did things like this – said things like that –

           The sound of a flushing toilet. A woman exited the stall and fixed a rather disgruntled look upon Rachel, who was silenced sheepishly as the woman began to wash her four hands. Perhaps, Rachel realized, it would’ve been a good idea to check the restroom for occupants before pacing around it singing lyrics like “IS IT LOVE? IS IT LOVE? OR JUST THE DRUGS PULSING IN MY VEINS?”

           The singing had worked a little bit, anyway. There was no reason for Rachel to be that angry. Her friend was a womanizer-wannabe, he’d managed to find someone his charms temporarily worked on by the sheer scope of trying them on everyone, they’d had a moment, she wanted someone else all along. No big deal. This was just Rachel’s problem. Pining made a person overreact.

           Jealous of getting the attention he did, indeed.

           There were things you just didn’t say, even if it turned out you were right about them.

           Shortly after the other woman left the restroom, Rachel did the same, practically colliding with Buzz Lightyear as she did so. After both gave a “Whoa!” and backed off, Rachel was reminded of the other problem.

           “I, uh…” Buzz began, “I just wanted to make sure, you know, that you were okay.”

           “I’m fine,” Rachel said with a forced smile. “Who doesn’t get fed up with their teammates every once in a while?”

           “Even I know that feeling,” Buzz admitted with a smile, “though don’t tell them that.”

           “I’m sorry I didn’t say anything,” Rachel blurted. “When Bonnie was doing…the stuff she was doing.”

           “What do you have to be sorry for?” Buzz asked. “Like I said: the damsel-in-distress syndrome. Besides, the more I think about it, the more I wonder if taking her up on the whole date thing wouldn’t actually be that bad of an idea.”

           Rachel flinched. “Buzz, do you even LIKE her?”

           “What’s not to like about Bonnie Lepton?” Buzz asked. “She’s a confident woman who sees the good in people. Everyone should like her!”

           “No. I’m asking if you LIKE her. YOU KNOW HOW I MEAN.”

           “Well, uh…” Buzz met Rachel’s piercing gaze with a rather hollow look. “Not right now, but you never know. Things can happen.”

           “Are you thinking about asking her out because she PESTERED you?”

           “She wasn’t pestering!” Buzz argued. “She happens to have a mild crush on me – “

           “A MILD crush.”

           “ – and there’s a chance we’re compatible, and this will make her happy!” Buzz insisted.

           “Yeah, but…she makes you REALLY uncomfortable,” Rachel argued. “Don’t tell me I’m wrong. I SAW you two.”

           “It wasn’t that bad!” Buzz argued.

           “I’m just afraid that if you give in because she bothered you into it,” Rachel told him, “then you’re gonna end up even more uncomfortable. Or just hurt.”

           “Listen, Rachel,” Buzz said patiently, “I’m a grown man. I can take care of myself. It’s gonna take more than a bad date to hurt me. It doesn’t even take EVIL EMPEROR ZURG to hurt me!”

           “I’m just trying to look out for you, okay?” Rachel insisted. “I know you can take care of yourself, but…I get worried. It’s what I do. She shouldn’t have put that kind of pressure on you. It isn’t RIGHT. Even I…”

           And here’s why it really wasn’t that easy. She’d known it since the Petra incident.

           “…I had this guy I liked, once,” she said meekly. “A lot. But I knew he wasn’t interested in me at all. And I NEVER wanted to put him through what Bonnie’s putting you through. Even if it was hard having to see him and keep it all bottled up. I just…I can’t – couldn’t do that to him. Even if he was an asshole who deserved a little punishment sometimes.” She sighed. “If you wanna go out with Bonnie, that’s fine. I just don’t want this to go wrong for you.”

           “I’ll be fine,” Buzz assured her. “I appreciate the concern, though. You’ve got a good heart.”

           “Yeah, yeah.” Rachel made to head back to the table. “Let’s go get our food. They probably brought my spurfion rings, and I’m starving.”

           “Rachel.”

           She paused, her back turned to Buzz. Her head swiveled to get a good look at him.

           Candidly, Buzz stated, “Any guy who wouldn’t see how amazing you are is a MORON.”

           She said the only thing she could say: “That’s exactly the problem.”

           He didn’t ask, so she didn’t elaborate. They returned to the booth, where their orders were in fact waiting, and it seemed that already, Rachel had missed the time-honored ritual where XR had attempted to casually steal a spurfion ring off her plate only to remember the hard way, yet again, that he wasn’t able to consume food. She gave this the barest acknowledgement, re-taking her seat by the window and making a point of not looking directly at XR for the rest of the meal.

           Buzz began to spell out his ideas for the date he was planning with Bonnie: “So I was thinking I’d take her to good old Cosmic Crunchies – “

           “Buzz,” XR sighed, “I thought the point was that you were treating her like a grown-up. That COMPLETELY defeats the purpose. Also, Cosmic Crunchies? Really? How old are YOU, again?”

           Rachel just barely managed to disguise her inappropriately-placed laugh as a cough. Curse him. (Though now was obviously a bad time to say that she herself wouldn’t be opposed to Cosmic Crunchies, so she kept that one secret.)

           Buzz laid out the rest of his plans, and Rachel couldn’t help but think that this was about to go terribly, horribly wrong.

***

           Things had gone about as badly as Rachel could have predicted if not worse. Lepton (or “von Madman,” as he preferred, apparently) had somehow enlarged himself to monumental proportions, solidified his crystal shell, and carried Bonnie off into the city. By the time the majority of the squad arrived on scene, it seemed all that was left of Buzz was a Buzz-shaped imprint in the ground.

           “Poor Buzz,” Booster whimpered, looking at the site of the damage, “he’s gone!”

           “Life will be so empty without him,” XR moaned.

           “I can’t believe – “ Rachel attempted.

           “By the way,” XR interrupted, “who gets his car?”

           “Wow,” Rachel huffed. “Mr. Sensitivity, aren’t you?”

           Thankfully, Buzz hadn’t actually been crushed, crawling up out of where he’d been punched into the floor. Booster excitedly plucked him from the indent, crying, “YOU’RE ALIVE!”

           Rachel let out a sigh of absolute relief.

           Buzz wrenched himself from one of Booster’s bone-crushing hugs, barreling toward the edge of the rooftop where they had all gathered to try to intercept Lepton (or “von Madman”…apparently) as he barked, “No time for mushy stuff, rangers! Madman is loose!”

           “Hey, yeah, about that?” Rachel called after Buzz as he barreled to the edge of the rooftop. “Just thought maybe we should discuss how this is related to what we talked about earlier regarding – “

           “No time for that either!” Buzz called back as he made a flying leap off the building.

           Rachel all but deflated as the rest of the team followed. Eventually, she mustered up the willpower to give chase. If he’d just listened to her, none of this would be happening, she thought.

           A direct attack on Lepton (“von Madman,” apparently) failed thrice in a row, and the blasts of pure energy he emitted to attempt to eliminate Team Lightyear en masse ended up causing collateral damage when they missed. Buzz’s argument that he and Bonnie were on a date rolled off Lepton (“von Madman,” apparently)’s back like water off a duck.

           “Seriously,” Rachel groaned, “this can NOT get any – “

           “DON’T,” XR warned, “SAY IT.”

           That was when Lepton (“von Madman,” apparently) commandeered the city’s main generator and erupted into titanic size.

           “That had NOTHING to do with what I just said!” Rachel barked as the group landed on another nearby rooftop to assess.

           “Oh, really?” XR countered. “Haven’t I warned you about what happens EVERY TIME ANYONE SAYS THOSE WORDS?”

           “It’s a coincidence,” Rachel grunted.

           “This and every other time?”            “It has not happened every single time.”

           “NINETY TIMES out of the past NINETY-FIVE that someone has said ‘this can’t get any worse,’” XR pointed out, “it has GOTTEN WORSE.”

           “You kept TRA – “ Rachel shook her head. “Of course you kept track.”

           “Plan?” Mira asked. “Anybody got a plan? Because we could REALLY use a plan right now.”

           Buzz surveyed the generator before making his decision: “It’s up to you, XR. You’ve gotta reach the cutoff valve. We’ll stall him.”

           “I’m sorry,” Rachel broke in, “XR does what?”            “I agree,” XR repeated; “XR does what? One false move, and someone could be blown to bits! Maybe me!”

           “That’s why it’s up to you,” Buzz insisted, giving the robot a gentle push toward the edge of the roof.

           “Ummm…I don’t like this plan,” Rachel argued. “I REALLY don’t like this plan.”

           “But if anything happens to XR,” Booster reminded her, “he can just be rebuilt.”

           “I thought you were mad at him anyway about the Bonnie thing,” Mira whispered in Rachel’s ear.

           “I am,” Rachel hissed back. “That doesn’t mean I have to like the plan where he’s required to make the suicide move.”

           “Then which one of us SHOULD make that move?”

           “Uh…” Rachel had no answer for that.

           “It’s not ideal,” Mira reminded her, “but it’s our only play.”

           “Fine,” Rachel huffed. “But I want to remind EVERYONE LISTENING HERE that we would have to go through NONE OF THIS if Buzz had just NOT CAVED TO BEING PESTERED BY A WOMAN HE DIDN’T LIKE!”

           “We would have to go through none of this,” Buzz countered, “if Lepton – “

           “Von Madman, apparently,” Rachel broke in.

           “If Lepton hadn’t pushed the limits of his research too far,” Buzz concluded. “Now let’s MOVE!”

           Four blasted off; Buzz, Mira, and Booster made a beeline for Lepton (“von Madman,” apparently)’s line of vision while XR made a break for the assigned valve. Rachel stared after them all in exasperation for a solid thirty seconds before yelling, “WHEN DID THE I-TOLD-YOU-SO SQUAD BECOME THE I-TOLD-YOU-SO RACHEL?”

           Then, knowing full well what she had to do, she blasted off to join the diversion effort.

           Buzz tried to appeal to Lepton’s humanity. Mira argued that Bonnie needed a normal life. Rachel knew she had to chip in her two cents, to be as loud as ever in order to draw attention, but her eyes kept darting over to the valve, where XR was suctioning his way up the generator. He’ll be fine, she told herself. If he gets smashed, we just piece him back together again. And after hitting on Bonnie, he deserves to be smashed anyway. Multiple times, in fact.

           She turned back to Lepton. “BONNIE’S DOING JUST FINE!” she argued. “THERE ARE WAY WORSE GUYS SHE COULD’VE PICKED THAN BUZZ LIGHTYEAR! AND SHE LOVES YOU! WHY WON’T – “

           A faint, metallic scream. Rachel was cut off midsentence. She whipped to look; XR had somehow gotten one arm wrapped up in the valve, then had that arm accidentally extended so he was dangling off the tower. Not that this is my problem, Rachel insisted to herself. Typical of him, anyway.

           “DR. LEPTON!” Booster added. “YOU HAVE TO LISTEN TO – “

           The glow of the crystals dimmed. Perhaps, Rachel thought, Lepton (“von Madman,” apparently) had decided to take their words to heart, to give up his power grab –

           Or perhaps XR falling halfway down the tower and screaming had alerted him to what the team was trying to do.

           Yes. Definitely that second one.

           A low growl formed in the scientist’s throat. He balled up one enormous hand into a boulder-esque fist.

           I am absolutely not getting involved, Rachel told herself. This is not my problem.

           The minute she finished that thought, she blasted off.

           She intercepted XR before Lepton (“von Madman,” apparently) could shatter him. Seeing as Rachel hadn’t really planned this, acting more upon instinct than anything else, she didn’t exactly focus on keeping airborne, and the sudden added weight of an entire robot in her arms drove her path in a decidedly downward direction. She did, however, have the presence of mind to roll over in midair as the pavement loomed. After all, she hadn’t risked her life to stop Lepton (“von Madman,” apparently) from shattering XR only for him to get dashed on the road.

           Rachel landed on her back, slamming into the pavement hard, and the subsequent shooting pain in her right shoulder informed her that this had been a very bad idea. Unbidden, a shriek escaped from her lips. As XR positioned himself to standing, she sat up agonizingly, still whimpering from the shooting pain running through her shoulder.

           “Whoa, nice save!” XR told her. “If you hadn’t done that, I would NOT have come out of that in one piece aaaaaaaaand you didn’t come out of that in one piece, did you?”

           So he’d finally noticed that her eyes were misting up with tears. “No SHIT, XR,” she snapped.

           “Oh,” he replied, “wow. Yeah, okay, that…that doesn’t look good. You should DEFINITELY get that checked out.”

           “Oh, God,” she moaned, “don’t tell me it’s broken. Is it out of place?”

           “Well, it’s hard to say at this point, but – what EXACTLY are you worried is broken?”

           “MY FUCKING SHOULDER,” Rachel growled, immediately regretting her harsh tone the moment it had come out – though, in her defense, the fact that her shoulder might have, in fact, been broken wasn’t doing her temperament any favors. “What did you THINK?”

           “How would you expect ME to know?” XR replied. “All I know is the look on your face is NOT the look of a person who doesn’t need medical attention.”

           Rachel’s gaze was diverted upward; Buzz, Mira, and Booster had tried and failed to engage Lepton (“von Madman,” apparently) in direct hand-to-hand combat, and now the crystalline villain had leapt off the generator, stalking Buzz down.

           “We can’t stay here,” Rachel grunted as she used her left hand to pivot into a standing position less than gracefully.

           “You’re telling me!” XR cried, seizing Rachel’s hand and making a break for it –

           Her right hand.

           He let go after she shrieked even more piercingly. “THAT WAS THE SHOULDER,” she yelled.

           “Again,” he retorted, “HOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO KNOW THAT?”

           “Just RUN, dumbass!”

           They bolted, Rachel’s shoulder feeling no better as time elapsed. Once they’d reached what seemed to be a safe distance, they observed the grand finale playing out.

           The entire generator was destroyed in the melee, but it was Bonnie herself who struck the final blow, dealing a hit to Lepton (“von Madman,” apparently)’s weak spot on his chest and bringing him back down to humanity. Rachel would’ve fist-pumped in Bonnie’s honor if she weren’t still distracted by the burning in her shoulder.

           “You think it’s safe?” she asked after Lepton (no longer “von Madman,” apparently), Bonnie, Buzz, Mira, and Booster had been conversing for some time.

           “You can NEVER be too careful,” XR told her. “Luckily, I can assess the situation by reading their lips from this distance.” After a moment of observation, he muttered, “Pretty sure he just said ‘Donut candelabra’ – “

           “Okay, no, that’s not gonna work.” Rachel made her way to the others, every curse she knew firing off in her brain as a result of the shoulder. Fuck Lepton, she thought, for making me have to do that. Fuck Buzz for not listening to me. And fuck XR in particular for being the exact reason my shoulder is probably wrecked.

           “How do we know we can trust you?” Buzz was asking Lepton as Rachel approached.

           “I promise,” Lepton replied.

           That seemed to be where it ended, prompting Rachel to say, “Oh, that’s IT? We’re going to trust him just like THAT?”

           “It really wasn’t his fault,” Bonnie asserted. “The crystals were affecting his brain.”

           Rachel wasn’t sure how far that explanation would fly. After all, substance abuse could make people act severely out of character, but she was under the impression Lepton had at least some control over his actions. Then again, she wasn’t the judge or the jury here. That honor fell to Buzz, so she looked at him.

           “Well, uh, okay,” Buzz stated. “After the LGMs CLEAR him.”

           Rachel could accept that. Whatever misgivings she had, Buzz had yet to be wrong when it came to judging character.

           “And if you’ll, uh…let us finish our…y’know, ahhh…” he sputtered.

           “Dinner date?” Bonnie finished.

           So that was still on, Rachel thought to herself.

           “Right,” Buzz confirmed. “What she said.”

           Rachel might as well accept this. Maybe Buzz actually did have feelings for Bonnie that went beyond pitying her pestering. Maybe this would actually go somewhere. After all, it wasn’t like things could get –

           No. She was not about to become statistic ninety-six. Not even mentally.

           “YAY!” Booster cried, doing a small jump for joy. “Everything worked out PERFECT! Great job, everyone!” He gave Mira’s left shoulder and Rachel’s right shoulder a simultaneous, hearty clap.

           Which got Rachel to scream again, putting all eyes on her. That jolt had hit hard, and now she was crying again, which she really resented.

           “Are you okay?” Mira asked in concern.

           “No,” Rachel answered softly, at least feeling a little better that Mira’s response was so caring. “I think I broke my fucking shoulder.”

           “Uh, yeahhhhh,” XR confirmed (when had he gotten here? Rachel bristled at his presence). “I hate to break up the happy family reunion, but we have a ranger that needs a trip to the ER, stat.”

           “And whose fault is that?” Rachel growled.

           “Ranger,” Buzz reminded her, “I specifically assigned XR to that valve because he could take the risk of damage without any lasting effects.”

           That, Rachel couldn’t argue with. Maybe the person she should be angry with was herself. Her eyes flicked downward to the pavement.

           “Still, that was an admirable display of loyalty for your fellow ranger,” Buzz told her. “I can’t get too mad at you for wanting to protect your teammate and friend. Even if he is infinitely more durable than you are.” He took three steps to get right in front of Rachel. “We’re going to get you back to base for an examination of that shoulder.” Pivoting, he said, “Sorry, Bonnie, but – “

           “No,” Rachel said quickly. “Don’t. I don’t need the whole squad to go with me. You’re on a date. Go enjoy it.”

           “You, uhhhh…” Buzz regarded Rachel with confusion. “You WANT me to be on a date with Bonnie?”

           “If that’s what your heart wants,” she replied, “then – no. Forget it. Just – you’re an adult too. This is your decision.”

           “All right,” Buzz told her. Then: “Mira! Booster! XR! Take Rachel back to the Star Command med bay, and watch that shoulder.”

           “Right!” Mira responded.

           “Righty-o, Buzz!” Booster agreed.

           “Consider her shoulder WATCHED,” XR concluded.

           Rachel didn’t want to see him. She didn’t want to be anywhere near him. Logically, she was aware that this was completely her fault, but she wanted to pin the blame on XR for making her care, for not caring back, and for unwittingly orchestrating this entire situation without a clue.

           Though, that was the thing: unwittingly. He had no way of knowing how angry it made her to see him so casually trying to pick up Bonnie. He had no way of knowing anything. It was all on her. On her, on her, on her –

           “So, uh, Rach?”

           They’d all begun walking back to cruiser 42, and there he was, right on cue. Rachel looked down to meet XR’s eyes, dealing him a very sour look.

           “I reaaaaaaaally owe you one for this,” he told her.

           She flinched, surprised. Touched, even. It was only one sentence, and she had no idea if he’d even follow up, but it went miles toward making things better.

 ***

           “You did WHAT?”

           Rachel sat on an examination bed, the LGMs crawling about to observe every part of her body they could assess. She was now clad in a loose-fitting tunic and pants rather than her suit; getting them on around her shoulder was more hassle than she’d have liked. The hurting hadn’t subsided; she’d just gotten used to it. Somewhat.

           Mira, Booster, and XR were hanging back against the wall, watching the examination go down with concern plastered on all of their faces. Nebula was overseeing, and it was he who was less than happy with Rachel.

           “I said,” Rachel sighed, “I hurt my shoulder in a rescue attempt.”

           “WHOSE RESCUE ATTEMPT?”

           “…XR’s,” she admitted. “I was trying to stop XR from getting shattered by von Madman.” It sounded even worse when she said it out loud.

           “Ranger!” Nebula cried – yes, he was angered, but Rachel could still tell from his tone that it stemmed from a place of worry – “XR is literally built to be destroyed and reconstructed! His name stands for ‘Expendable Ranger’!”

           “Experimental,” Rachel said without thinking. “It’s ‘Experimental Ranger.’”

           She heard a mutter from the wall of “You know you’re in trouble when Dad uses your FULL name…”

           “If XR gets blown to bits,” Nebula continued, “we can just build him again from the ground up! We CAN’T do that with YOU! You aren’t replaceable! What if you’d been killed pulling off that maneuver?”

           “I know,” Rachel said softly. “I was being a dumbass.”

           “LANGUAGE, ranger!”

           “Sorry.”

           Nebula sighed. “This could’ve been a lot worse. I just don’t wanna see you get hurt permanently from making any more reckless decisions!”

           “I’ll play it safer,” Rachel said sheepishly. “I promise.”

           “You better. I don’t wanna lose you from the ranks!”

           That statement probably should’ve made Rachel feel better, warmer and fuzzier, but it ultimately didn’t do anything to reduce the size of the swirling pit in her stomach. Now she was here having to dance around the fact that she’d nearly gotten herself killed over an unrequited crush, and she was saying this to the head honcho himself. How could she possibly convey to him that she just couldn’t stand seeing XR put in what for an organic would be mortal danger – especially when Nebula was incredibly right and she’d just injured herself needlessly?

           “Finished assessment!” one of the LGMs announced.

           “What’s the prognosis?” Nebula asked.

           “Not broken!” the LGM declared. “Sprain!”  

           Rachel let out a sigh of relief at that.

           “Well, that could’ve been worse,” Nebula remarked. “That can be patched up with a simple enough operation. After that, you’ll have to stay off duty for two weeks.”            “TWO WEEKS?” Rachel shrieked. “No. NO. I can’t be off duty for two weeks. Zurg will attack, Torque will run another prison break, NOS-4-A2 will go on a murder spree, this will probably ALL HAPPEN WITHIN THE SAME DAY, and I HAVE TO BE THERE!”

           “Two weeks, ranger,” Nebula barked, “and that’s an order!”

           All considered, two weeks probably wasn’t bad. Rachel thought she’d heard once that in the old days, before medical technology had advanced to this point, a sprain could have a person out for a month or two. That was unthinkable.

           “Get her under,” Nebula demanded. “I want her patched on the double. The sooner she can start the recuperation period, the sooner she can finish.”

           “On the double!” several of the LGMs chorused.

           She was whisked away before anyone could say anything more. Though she did catch the fading sound of Booster saying, “Gosh, two whole weeks? That’s gonna be tough!” and Mira responding, “Yeah. Poor Rachel. I just can’t – “

           They were out of earshot before Rachel could hear whether the one most closely tied to this little debacle had anything to say.

           Maybe that was for the best.

 ***

           Since Team Lightyear was on active duty, the four who didn’t have Grade II shoulder sprains remained at base. Rachel, however, was confined to bed in her and Mira’s shared apartment.

           “You gonna be okay?” Mira had asked before leaving.

           “Yeah,” Rachel sighed.

           “You don’t sound convinced,” Mira pointed out.

           “Mira,” Rachel reminded her, “I just sprained my fucking shoulder saving an invincible person from a non-fatal experience because of a misguided and one-sided crush. I am as fine as I’m gonna get.”

           “Well…” Mira shrugged. “At least your heart was in the right place?”

           “I just…hate seeing him get hurt,” Rachel replied. “But don’t tell him that. I am REALLY mad at him now.”

           “Lips are zipped!” Mira promised. “Okay. I really do have to get going. Anything I can get you before I leave?”

           “Nah,” Rachel replied. “I can at least get to the kitchen and back. That’s all I’m gonna need.”

           “’Kay,” Mira said. “I’m heading out.”

           “Have fun!” Rachel told Mira, mustering up a small show of happiness.

           “As much fun as I can on Tanker Alley duty,” Mira said with a wink. “Be GLAD you’re missing this one.”

           Then Rachel’s roommate was gone, and Rachel was left alone to stew. Which she did in silence for about half an hour. Then, realizing she needed to take proactive steps toward not spending two weeks in a swamp of self-pity, she picked up the remote on the bedside table, flicking on the television and opening up the streaming selection.

           Her heart skipped a beat when she realized that Bulletproof Hearts: Despair Days had updated by two episodes without her even noticing. That would kill some time and put her mind on something more positive. Would today be the day that Spice Skomaru would finally figure out the mastermind behind the evil horde? Would her premonition of the future finally be given context?

           Before Rachel could click the episode into playing, there was a ring at the doorbell.

           Solicitors, she thought, or door-to-door religious converters asking her if she’d heard of the gospel of Narflak. So she ignored it.

           Only for the doorbell to ring again. And again. And again and again and again and again –

           “God dammit,” Rachel muttered as she slid out of bed. At least her pajamas were conservative; if she had to answer the door to sign for a package or anything, she wouldn’t have to worry about the delivery person seeing more than they should. Almost to the door, she had the presence of mind to test the waters by calling out, “WHO’S THERE?”

           “ROOM SERVICE!”

           She knew that voice. She would be able to pick that voice out of a crowd of one thousand. And there was absolutely no reason for the owner of that voice to be here, now.

           In utter disbelief, Rachel opened the door –

           And XR breezed into the apartment, nearly knocking her over. “Worry not!” he proclaimed. “Nurse XR is here to tend to your every need!”

           Rachel could only stare at him dumbfoundedly.

           He shifted from a chipper demeanor to staring her down (insofar as a person could do from a two foot height difference), hands on where hips would have been on a person. “Shouldn’t you be in bed, missy?”

           She regained her ability to counter. “If I was in bed, I wouldn’t have been able to open the door, dumbass.”

           “I don’t wanna hear aaaaaany more excuses! Back to bed! Go on! Scoot!”

           Wondering if she was actually asleep and having a fever dream, Rachel obeyed, walking back into the bedroom and climbing back into the bed – ever more thankful that her pajamas didn’t show much off.

           XR followed her into the bedroom, pausing just before the bed to pop his drawer and rummage about in it. “Let’s see here,” he muttered, “I brought one fleece blanket – don’t ask where I got it – one very fluffy pillow – don’t ask where I got it – one Jo-Adian-sized ice pack – don’t ask where I got it – and several extra-strength painkillers not on your prescription; DEFINITELY don’t ask where I got those.”

           “I, uh…” Rachel realized she had to give in to the nonsense and stop trying to figure out what in the galaxy was happening. “I could use all of those things except the illegal narcotics.”

           “You see, I THOUGHT you might feel that way,” XR remarked, “so I’m just gonna leave them in the drawer in case you want them later – “

           “PLEASE DO NOT LEAVE ILLEGAL NARCOTICS IN MY APARTMENT WHERE THEY COULD BE FOUND ON A SWEEP,” Rachel said fiercely.

           “Fine,” XR said haughtily, replacing the bag of variously sized and multicolored pills in his drawer. “I’ll keep them with ME unless you change your mind. But if you want them while I’m on mission tomorrow, that’s just too bad for you.”

           It took Rachel a moment to stop thinking about how she was already on thin ice for the antidepressants hidden at the bottom of the panty drawer and realize what he’d just said. “On mission…tomorrow? Don’t you have one TODAY? Tanker Alley?”

           “About that,” XR replied. “I put in a word with Commander Nebula and I just so happened to mention that I am VERY behind on my paperwork. I have literally MOUNTAINS of reports to file. So I got a free pass for the day in order to get a head start on those hours and hours’ worth of reports that need filing.”

           That didn’t exactly clear things up. “So…why are you – “

           “Hours and hours’ worth of reports,” XR clarified, “that I’m NOT GOING TO DO.”

           “Oh,” Rachel realized. “Wait. So you lied to get a whole day off to – “

           “Stop you from going insane having no one to talk to, yes.”

           “You say that like talking to you doesn’t inherently make me more insane.”

           “Har-dee-har.”

           “Did Booster and Mira guilt you into this?” Rachel asked.

           “Guilt?” XR repeated. “No! No-ho-hooooo! Not one bit! True, they MIGHT have mentioned on separate occasions that because you got that sprain trying to protect me, that means I’m INDIRECTLY responsible for your injury, in the TECHNICAL sense, but there is no GUILT here. All sincerity, this wasn’t their idea anyway. It was mine.”

           “Why?” Rachel asked, dumbfounded.

           “Because, like I said,” he reminded her, “I owe you one. One VERY BIG one. And I’m paying you back right now. Now hang on juuuuuuust a minute – “

           He breezed around the room, throwing the blanket on top of Rachel and suddenly getting on the bed on her left side to tip her forward and settle the pillow and the absolutely enormous ice pack, and she barely had time to register how erratic her heartbeat became for that moment. Then he was back on the floor, and Rachel had to admit she was much more comfortable.

           “You don’t have to do this,” she told him. “I mean, yeah, you do owe me one, but I’m fine. I’m not gonna go stir-crazy. There are new eps of Despair Days, and – “

           XR shot a glance at the television. “Bulletproof Hearts?” he realized. “Now THERE’S a nostalgia trip. Are we gathering research for more fanfictions?”

           “Let it die.”

           “The files may be deleted, but the memories remain, Rach. Distinct memories of Vexyrian, Romyx, and oatmeal.”

           “I DON’T EVEN SHIP THEM ANYMORE!” Rachel cried, a bit too loudly.

           “What was this even about, anyway?” XR asked.

           “Despair Days?” Rachel answered. “It’s a spinoff, actually. It focuses on Spice Skomaru, who’s Red’s half-sister. See, Spice has the ability to predict the future, and that put a bunch of hitmen on her. So when Nort figured out about her powers, he captured her and put her in isolation on an ice planet filled with robots who seem to be brainwashed to try and kill her, but she escaped, and now she’s trying to make her way through the frozen wasteland with – “ She realized she’d been infodumping. “It’s basically the same kind of drama as the main series.”

           “That summary doesn’t actually help me,” XR replied. “See, when I asked, I meant what the WHOLE THING was about.”

           Rachel gave him an utterly dumbfounded look. “You…don’t know what Bulletproof Hearts is about.”

           “Not a clue.”

           “We went through that whole incident of you trying to turn my old fanfictions into erotic fiction, and YOU DIDN’T EVEN KNOW WHAT THE SHOW WAS ABOUT.”

           “I was aiming to make transformative work! Did I NEED to know what the show was about?”

           “Oh my God,” Rachel sighed. “Bulletproof Hearts is – it’s simultaneously the best and worst piece of fiction of our generation. It’s my LIFE. It’s my OBSESSION. And you DON’T KNOW WHAT IT’S ABOUT.”

           “Well, forgive me if the summaries of episodes of a television drama aren’t logged in Star Command’s database!”

           Another heavy sigh from Rachel before she launched into another infodump: “So Bulletproof Hearts is about these kids who go to an academy to train for fighting evil. Like our academy – well, the academy Buzz, Mira, and Booster went to – but the fantasy version for younger teens who have weirder weapons. They’re divided into four teams that do assignments together, but all sixteen are best friends. The problem is the evil Nort and his flunkies want to challenge the gods and bring the light of hope and the darkness of despair into a clash that will remake the world, so they have to travel around to different planets, get wrapped up in the adventures of the locals, and put together the pieces of how to stop Nort. The problem is that Nort’s right-hand general, Monokrome, tempts them on every planet with a reason to kill each other off, and every so often, she succeeds and one of the kids ends up killing another, and they all have to work together to figure out who the murderer is. The main character, Red Kazora, is seriously my favorite. Like, he’s perfect. He’s this geeky mechanic type who starts out with major trust issues but then kinda falls in platonic love with everybody and makes friends at first sight. His best friend, Snow Hajiku, is more of the deadpan snarky type who seems cold at first, but their dynamic is just SO perfect, and they’re SO in love. Though, actually, Red’s canon love interest is Victory Chiakairi, who has a really troubled past because she – well, that’s a spoiler. But the thing is, she came from – no, that’s also a spoiler. But the whole fan treatment of Victory is complicated because – fuck. Spoiler. Wait. Why am I dancing around spoilers? You are NEVER going to watch this fucking show.”

           “I wouldn’t say NEVER!” XR argued. “Now I want to know what my best-seller was going to be based on! Also, you made it sound kind of interesting just now.” He looked back to the television. “You’ve got it streaming?”

           “It’s all on demand,” Rachel confirmed. “What, you want to binge it with me?”

           Had she seriously just invited him to do that? In her defense, he had all but suggested it himself!

           “Well, we have a whole day together, don’t we?” XR reminded her. “Fire it up.”

           “XR, this show has a LOT of lore. It’s SUPER fucking complicated. There is a RUNNING FANDOM JOKE about how the plot is overcomplicated and doesn’t make sense to anyone except hardcore fans.”

           “Are you saying I can’t keep up with a TV show plot?”

           “That is exactly what I’m saying,” Rachel stated.

           “Well,” XR replied, “CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.”

           In one movement, he had hoisted himself onto the bed next to Rachel’s left side, and the ice pack was overclocking keeping her body temperature down from the proximity. He reclined back on the pillow on that side, hands tucked behind his helmet.

           “Okay,” Rachel said, “but don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

           The problem about showing your special-interest fandom to the guy you liked, who really didn’t seem all that interested in fantasy fiction in the first place, was that if he didn’t end up liking it, you either had to doubt the integrity of your feelings for the fiction or your feelings for the guy. Both of which really deserved to be questioned, in her case, Rachel realized. This may very well have been the worst decision of her life.

           Second worst, come to think of it, after getting her shoulder sprained trying to save an immortal robot from getting smashed.

           If being attracted to XR was at all her decision, of course, that would be a solid first worst.

           Still, she cued up the pilot episode, tense in anticipation of XR’s reaction. “Oh, by the way,” she mentioned, “I’ve seen this, like, a hundred times, so if I start saying the lines out loud along with the characters, smack me on the back of the head.”

           “Duly noted. No takesies-backsies on that.”

           A click of the remote and they were off.

           Two hours in, there was a bowl on Rachel’s lap from which she casually ate popcorn while answering the early-season questions every Bulletproof Hearts rookie had:

           “So…Noir hates Snow because…”

           “Spoiler.”

           “Am I picking up that Amarillo is hiding something?”            “Yes.”

           “What’s Snow’s specialty again?”            “It was never said because you’re not supposed to know.”

           “I don’t trust Castella.”

           “WAIT FOR IT.”

           It occurred to Rachel eventually that XR was not only miraculously following the plot of Bulletproof Hearts, but getting invested in it. That was a load off. This wasn’t going to be so bad after all.

 ***

           “I’m starting to see what you mean about Red and Snow. Seriously, just KISS already.”

           “THANK YOU.”

           “Though Red and Victory aren’t bad either.”

           “Just so long as you don’t ship Red with Castella Komisa.”

           “People do that?”            “People do that. And it is the literal worst. Besides, Reynard is right there! Why WOULDN’T you put Castella with Reynard?”

           “Not seeing THAT chemistry.”

           “Right. That’s not until episode seven. Just hang in there.”

 ***

           “So THAT’S your boy toy.”

           “ROMYX IS NOT MY BOY TOY.”

           “You’re into mullets and eyeliner?”

           “No I’m – are you going to make fun of me and Romyx or are you going to watch how actually good of a villain Romyx is?”

           “I’m a robot. I’m built to multitask.”

***

           “Geez, they wasted no time killing off Romyx, did they?”

           “Yeah. He’s kind of an intro villain.”

           “Does he come back?”

           “No.”

           “That’s ALL HE DOES?”

           “Yes.”

           “Why do you like HIM so much? He barely did anything!”

           “BUT HE DID IT WITH SWAG. NOW SHUT UP.”

 ***

           “Well, well, THERE’S a familiar name. …Wait, are you telling me Romyx and Vexyrian never meet?”            “Not onscreen, but they both worked for Nort, so obviously – “

           “And you wrote such PASSIONATE romance between them.”

           “Is this Relive Rachel’s Most Embarrassing Hits hour? No. No it’s not.”

           “Now, you see, THIS guy, I can get into as a villain. THIS guy has the chops. And unlike Romyx, he’s actually gonna stick around.”

           “Uh…yeah.”

 ***

           “Rach.”

           “Yeah.”

           “All the villains you love die.”

           “I know.”

           “Everything you touch dies.”

           “Yes it does.”

           “I mean, I guess this is something Romyx and Vexyrian actually have in common: they both die WAY too quickly.”

           “AHA! SO NOW YOU ADMIT ROMYX WAS GONE TOO SOON!”

           “GONE TOO SOON TO ACTUALLY BE A CHARACTER!”

 ***

           The popcorn bowl was refilled.

 ***

           “Well, here’s news for you,” Rachel muttered under her breath along with the villain of the hour. “You’re crying over Noir dying, but she isn’t dead. Because you can’t kill anything that never existed – HEY!”

           She had received the lightest, most playful cuff on the back of the head from a metal hand.

           “You told me to do that,” XR told her as he faced the screen, deliberately avoiding her look of playful scorn. “And you agreed to no takesies-backsies.”

 ***

           “Sooooo…is now the wrong time to tell you that I actually do think Red is best off with Castella?”

           “THAT’S IT. OUT. OUT OF MY APARTMENT NOW. RIGHT NOW. LEAVE THE ICE PACK.”

 ***

           Sniffle. “Rach…when you tell this story later…you don’t tell anyone I cried over Victory.”

           “Secret’s safe with me. I cried the first time I saw it, too.”

           “She was – she had so much potential! She was so innocent!”

           “I know. And it was just the most BULLSHIT death, too.”

           “What kind of a HEARTLESS MONSTER is writing this stuff?”

           “I might actually invite you onto my BH forum after this.”

           “…You’re on a forum?”

           “…Maybe.”            “Do you still write – “

           “NO! Also, you’re disinvited from the forum.”

           “Well, THAT’S telling. Looks like I have another pen name to go looking for.”

           “NO YOU DO NOT.”

 ***

           “…WHAT?”

           “Yes. YEEEEEES.”

           “You’re telling me…this whole time…Braigel was…”

           “YES! HE WAS! OH MY GOD, I HAVE NEVER ACTUALLY SEEN ANYONE GET BLINDSIDED BY THAT REVEAL IN REAL LIFE! DO YOU KNOW HOW SATISFYING THIS IS?”

           “This…explains a few things and yet raises SO many more questions than it answers.”

           “WELCOME TO BULLETPROOF HEARTS.”

 ***

           “I never said thank you, did I?”

           Rachel didn’t realize, at first, that this wasn’t a comment on the show. “I’M not the one who froze Ashe to death.”

           “Not convinced she’s dead, but that’s not what I meant.”

           “How could she have survived that?” Rachel said in an attempt to disguise the very obvious plot twist being set up. “And what ARE you talking about?”

           “Just this whole business saving me from getting crushed by the crystal creep.”

           Rachel froze, not having expected that to come back up. She took a chance to glance over at XR, and sure enough, he was looking at her, not the screen, and her eyes met his softly-glowing yellow lights. She wasn’t sure how to respond at first, but honesty got the better of her: “I just don’t like seeing you get hurt.”

           “And let me tell you, does it SMART,” XR confirmed. “Sure, all it takes is a few screws tightened back in place, but it is a MAJOR inconvenience. Admittedly less of an inconvenience than a Grade II shoulder sprain. Which brings me back to my point: I never said thank you.”

           She could’ve passed off some kind of reassurance and pretended it didn’t matter, or that she hadn’t noticed. But despite him having said he owed her, and owning up in a roundabout way to the fact that her injury was related to him, he hadn’t once said the specific words “thank you.” He knew that. She knew that. He knew she knew that, she knew he knew she knew that, and ad infinitum. “No,” she said. “You didn’t.”

           “Well, I’m saying it now, and you can put this on the record,” XR told her. “Thank you.”

           She almost said “you’re welcome” out of habit, but that would imply that he didn’t actually owe her anything for the save, and if he thought he didn’t owe her anything for the save, they wouldn’t be having as much fun as they were right now. What she ended up with was “Don’t make me do it again, dumbass.”

           “If Buzz didn’t always assign me the life-threatening half of the job or insist on using me as bait, maybe I wouldn’t HAVE to.”

           “Like I keep trying to argue him not to have you do?” She immediately regretted saying that; eventually he would have to figure out that she attempted to look out for him far more than anyone else on the team, and what exactly that meant.

           Yet it seemed to have sailed right over XR’s head. “Next time,” he insisted, “I get the cushy job distracting the villain. HE can shut off the volatile circuit.”

           “He does actually care, you know,” Rachel said quickly, worrying this would get out of hand; she didn’t want to breed a schism in the team by accident. “He just has to make tough decisions. Being team leader does that. I know I couldn’t handle it.”

           “Funny: I KNOW I could handle it. Buuuuuuut I’m not going to gun for the title out of respect.” Which Rachel knew was code for a heavy trust in Buzz’s decision-making and a value of him as a friend.

           “The day you become team leader,” Rachel said with a smirk, “is the day I quit.”

           “The day you quit,” XR replied, “is the day I get your seat on 42. I’ve always wanted the window view.”

           “If you’re at the window, who’s going to run analytics?”

           “Like we NEED analytics. Whatever happened to winging it? Improvising? Making it up as we go?”

           “You’re forgetting one crucial thing, XR.”

           “What? Are you going to try and tell me my analytical skills are irreplaceable and we’d be nowhere without me working in that corner?”

           Yes, Rachel thought. That is true. And I’m incredibly jealous of and impressed by how you’re able to crunch the numbers you do. “No,” she replied mischievously. “In this situation, I quit because you’re the captain, so why are you sitting in MY seat when Buzz’s is yours by default?”

           “Wh – that wasn’t – “

           “Don’t answer: it’s because you’re a dumbass.”

           “Oh, you think you’re so smart,” XR huffed.

           “I don’t think I’m smart,” Rachel replied. “I KNOW I’m smart.”

           “Yeah, well,” XR replied, swiveling his head back to the television, “I’ve got news for you, sister – WHEN DID POSEIDON GET POSSESSED?”

           “Shit,” Rachel hissed. “We’re gonna have to rewind a few scenes.”

           Spitting vitriol at each other felt strangely comfortable. The insults, insincere at this point. All Rachel had really heard was “I never said thank you.” And all XR had really heard was “I just don’t like seeing you get hurt.”

 ***

           It wasn’t until Rachel started waking up that she realized she’d fallen asleep. When had that happened? Without opening her eyes, she took stock of what had happened, trying to recall exactly when she’d wrapped up last night’s binge and kicked out her irritating if charming houseguest.

           Observations: there was a constant stream of noise in the background – the sound of people talking. That was odd. Rachel’s position: propped up rather than laying down, though not as uncomfortable as one would expect, given that her back was against a very soft surface – several pillows, presumably. She’d slumped to the left a stitch, and was leaning on something quite solid.

           That was when it hit. She hadn’t wrapped up the Bulletproof Hearts binge. She’d fallen asleep watching it. That was the noise: an episode still playing. Nor had she sent XR packing. He was still there, and she’d fallen asleep leaning against him.

           Like the crack of a whip, adrenaline surged through Rachel’s body. Her eyes snapped open; she let out an instinct-driven, blood-curdling scream.

           XR had apparently entered sleep mode around the same time she’d dozed off; the sound of the scream jolted his AI out of idling and brought him to consciousness. And when he realized, first of all, that he was being screamed at, and second of all, where he was, his immediate reaction was to let off an almost equally blood-curdling scream.

           The symbiotic scream feedback continued for about a minute before both parties involved finally fell silent, staring at each other in panic.

           Rachel scrambled for the words that were appropriate for this situation. True, it was completely chaste and innocent, but she’d just spent an entire night (how many hours? When, in fact, had she lost consciousness? Now the memories were becoming clearer; they’d both gone way past midnight, their commentary on the show getting increasingly more boisterous until they’d started getting tired) sleeping in the same bed as the man she had a hopeless and ridiculous crush on, and if there was a single part of her epidermis that wasn’t bright pink with a blush right now, she’d have been very surprised. The ice pack was finally spent, so that didn’t help. Her heart seemed about ready to beat itself to death and pop right out through her sternum, thundering in her veins.

           As usual, however, XR had words where others would be speechless. “All right, all right,” he said in a tone that might have sounded breathless if he actually needed to breathe, “just calm down. Yes, apparently we fell asleep like that. But what matters here is that neither of us did, said, or meant anything that would make this at all what it looks like from the outside.” And he was adamant about that.

           Did? Of course not. Said? Nope. Meant? Depended on your definition and whether or not you were referring to something sexual or something simply stirring to the heart. Rachel shoved that aside. “And…nobody saw,” she added. “We’re alone. It’s fine. It’s fine! This isn’t weird!” Her voice cracked, slipping into falsetto. “IT’S NOT WEIRD!” Trying to drown out that accursed heartbeat.

           “No,” XR told her, now perfectly calm and cocky as per usual. “It is most certainly NOT, so you can dial it down a notch.”

           She paused. Bit her lip. Said the next words in a low, semi-chilled tone: “You’re the worst pillow in existence.”

           “Well, if I’d have known I was going to have an organic try and use me as one, I MIGHT have been generous enough to activate an airbag.”

           “I did not TRY – “ Rachel grit her teeth. “Did I go out first or did you?”

           “I don’t remember!” XR protested. “All I know is we ran out of commentary, I’m reading an episode title card, next thing you know, I’m off to dreamland with the electric sheep.”

           Rachel leaned her head back against the wall. “This never happened.”

           “The only thing anyone needs to think I fell asleep on is that mountain of paperwork that’s still sitting on my desk.”

           Rachel flinched. “There’s actual paperwork you’re behind on, isn’t there?”

           “Well, gee, I happen to be DOWN ONE COPY EDITOR, so yes, there is.”

           “I forgot you’d actually have to try and write at at least a third-grade reading level for two weeks.”

           “Excuse you; I’m up to a fourth-grade level at LEAST.”

           Arguing pettily put them back on their usual level. The awkwardness was subsiding, at least on Rachel’s part. On XR’s? She couldn’t read him. He didn’t seem fazed, but was that really a surprise? The bigger surprise was that he hadn’t tried to make some kind of lewd comment out of this. That, once again, brought Rachel to the eternal conundrum of being glad he didn’t obviously ogle her and yet frustrated that she was the only woman he didn’t.

           She glanced over to the clock. “You have to get moving, don’t you?”

           “Well, not for another hour and a half,” he admitted. “If you wanted to yell at one more episode for a palate cleanser. I’m just saying.”

           A cleansed palate was exactly what Rachel needed right now. “I’m down,” she stated. “Where’d you leave off?”

           “Where’d YOU leave off?”            “It literally does not matter,” she reminded him. “I’ve seen this show a hundred times, remember?” She took the remote in hand, barely able to hold it steady with the shaking. How had it gotten this bad again? Less than twenty-four hours ago, they were just lounging with each other on the bed like normal friends, and Rachel had felt less jittery and far more comfortable with XR than she could’ve hoped for at this point. Now that had just been erased like a chalkboard swiped with a soaking sponge. She managed to pause the running television: no mean feat.

           “The last thing I saw was the title card for Funhouse of Horrors,” XR related.

           So she’d gone out first, Rachel realized, but only by a few minutes. Maybe fifteen. Then the topic she should’ve been concerned with immediately sprang to her lips: “Wait. Funhouse of Horrors? THAT episode? Oh, that is NOT an episode you just watch and LEAVE.”

           “I feel like you’re implying I can’t handle it.”

           “IT’S A TERRIBLE CLIFFHANGER.”

           “Please. I eat cliffhangers for breakfast.”

           “That…literally makes no sense, XR.” She flicked through the menu. “But it’s your funeral.”

 ***

           The ending of the episode, as Rachel had predicted, left XR staring slack-jawed (or the equivalent when one’s jaw was hinged) at the screen. She stopped the credits roll, letting him gape in silence for a moment as her smirk grew ever smugger.

           At last, he managed, “Okay. Who did it?”            “Spoilers,” Rachel said mischievously.

           “I mean it,” XR urged. “Who killed Oregano?”

           “SPOI…LERS.”

           “Now you and I both know this is the time when I have to take my leave, as much as I know you’ll miss me.” (You have no idea, Rachel thought.) “Just give me the name of the murderer and I’ll be on my merry way.”

           “I’m not telling you,” Rachel replied. “If you wanna know, you’re gonna have to watch it yourself. You’re IN now, so I’m not going to ruin it.”

           “Okaaaay, new angle. Obviously, you’re not going to tell me who KILLED Oregano, so at least tell me how he DIED.”

           “Nnnnope,” Rachel held out.

           “Come on, you can at least confirm if it was the same person who unleashed the genetically modified ghost army.”

           “No I can’t.” Rachel was enjoying this far too much.

           “Look,” XR practically snapped, “you and I both know that without Oregano’s expertise, none of the rest of them are going to be able to get through that casino-themed torture chamber. Not to mention while they’re all starving to death. And even if they do, Ashe is waiting on the other side with Larxeo, which I have to admit was a REALLY poetic touch, giving her Romyx’s leather jacket like that, REALLY made you feel for the villains for once, but if you’re GOING to leave me on that note, at least tell me WHO…KILLED…OREGANO.”

           Rachel made a motion of zipping her mouth shut and locking it with a padlock.

           “You’re heartless,” XR accused.

           Rachel nodded in affirmation.

           “I’m going to be thinking about this all day,” XR continued as he shifted off the bed, treads hitting the floor. “And if this throws me off my game, it’s gonna be your fault.”

           She dealt him the most wicked grin she could muster.

           “Well, I’m on patrol,” he relented. “What are you gonna do?”

           “Probably catch up on those last two eps of Despair Days,” Rachel answered, “then slip back into a coma for another twelve hours. …A NON-NARCOTIC-INDUCED COMA.”

           “Well, good luck with that,” XR told her. “My work here is done.”

           All she could say at first was “Um, yeah.”

           “And with that,” XR declared jovially, “your doting caretaker bids you adieu.” A playful bow.

           “Wait,” Rachel said before he could leave.

           “Yeeees?”

           This was one of those times when it was hard to drop the banter and just be honest with him. Yet it was crucial. “Thanks for visiting. I had a lot of fun.”

           “The pleasure was mine,” XR replied with a wink. “You know, we should really hang out more often.”

           “For the record, you don’t actually drive me insane to talk to.”

           “I knew that, Rach. And, full disclosure, you’re a real pal, got that?”

           That was almost more meaningful than an I-love-you. “I got it. Now get out of here before I come to my senses and stop being honest.”

           “Consider me gone.”

           And then he was. She heard the apartment door open, then click shut, and Rachel was alone, half wondering if she’d hallucinated the past day.

           Letting herself smile because he really did like her, after all, even if it wasn’t exactly the way she could’ve asked for, and they had just spent hours upon hours together, she went back to the final two episodes she’d been meaning to watch from the beginning.

           The cutoff point ended with exactly as many dangling plot threads as the rest of the show, and that gave Rachel’s mind plenty to grind on as she settled back down into the bed, ready to fall asleep in a more comfortable position and kill as much time as she could that way, now that she had no one to talk to.

           A familiar scent twitched at her nostrils, and it suddenly occurred to her that she hadn’t drawn the conclusion of its presence two hours ago. It very faintly smelled like the pillow next to her was smoldering. Of course. XR had been laying on it for hours; his burned-marshmallow scent had transferred right over to it.

           Rachel’s left hand grabbed at the pillow, drawing it up to her face. Up close, it definitely smelled like it had a lit match dropped onto it at some point, though the fabric was undamaged, yet again suggesting, bafflingly, that the scent was not the sign of some malfunction. Now Rachel had two choices. She could go full tsuntsun and chuck that pillow to the far end of the room, to be forgotten about until laundry day. Or she could fall asleep hugging it like some kind of perverted stalker. (A taste of his own medicine, hm?) Just putting it back in place was not an option.

           Throw it, she told herself. Increase the denial.

           What won was the argument was that it wasn’t that creepy, really, not when she didn’t have actual predatory intentions – just to have a sensory input that reminded her of someone she liked being around.

           Sleep took her over as she cradled that pillow close, breathing in what could have been the odor of the aftermath of an arson scene.

 ***

           Rachel was awoken by the sound of the doorbell. After the first ring, she waited a moment to see if another barrage of ringing would follow.

           Instead, when she didn’t answer, it was a sharp knocking that came at the door. A slight disappointment.

           She crept out of bed, calling out tentatively, once more, “WHO IS IT?”. What time was it, anyway? A glance at the clock told her it was ten at night.

           “DELIVERY FOR RACHEL SPARKS!” That actually was the voice of the regular deliveryman. All hope was doused. Then again, receiving a package was a pretty rare event. Rachel couldn’t imagine what the delivery was. As covert as she’d tried to make her antidepressant acquisition, she hadn’t scheduled anything for this time.

           Prying open the door, she saw the deliveryman smiling his biggest at her; did this guy seriously mean it every time he smiled like that, or was it a façade to hide an ennui with his job? She hoped it was the former. “What’s up?” she asked.

           “Rachel!” the deliveryman greeted. “Special delivery just for you! It was just sent out this evening!” He extended a clipboard.

           “I, uh…” Rachel gave him a sheepish look. “Can’t really use my right hand right now. Can we just do the retinal scan and call it good?”

           “Sure thing!” He acquiesced; a mild laser made Rachel’s eye twitch but confirmed her identity enough for the package to be handed over. It was stuffed into a bubble-wrap-lined manila envelope, barely small enough to be contained by its manila skin. Rachel had a strong guess that it was a tape based on that. Goodness knew she’d tried to mail tapes that way before. Who hadn’t?

           She told the deliveryman thank you, and he gave her a jovial “Haaaave a nice day!” before gallivanting off into the night, hopefully not to stay out too late making other deliveries.

           Rachel shut and locked the door, bringing the envelope back to the bed to open it up as best she could with one hand (which turned out to be a bit of an ordeal; her teeth got involved). As she’d thought, it was a tape: unlabeled. That could mean anything from an anonymous death threat to a video will informing her she’d inherited two million unibucks from a great-uncle she’d never heard of.

           She inserted it into the player, tuning the television to the proper reception signal and clicking the tape into play.

           It began with a countdown of a “3…2…” on a spinning gray circle that had obviously been added in post-production. The next thing Rachel knew, she was looking at a view of Buzz Lightyear, Mira Nova, and Booster Munchapper on a desert plain, all three of them smiling in her direction.

           “AAAAAAND WE ARE ROLLING!” XR’s voice declared; Rachel realized he was the one filming, probably right through his eyes. “Spotlight’s on you, people! Let’s hear it with FEELING!”

           “Hi, Rachel!” Mira began, waving.

           “How’re ya doing?” Booster asked before realizing, “Wait…you can’t answer. Sorry.”

           “It’s just not the same without you, ranger,” Buzz added. “But thanks to XR here, today, you get to sit back, relax, and keep healing while we do the dirty work.”

           “And you get a front-row seat to all the action!” Booster agreed. “And boy, is this a big one today.”

           “Way, WAY bigger than Tanker Alley,” Mira added. “Sorry you have to miss it, but, then again, this also means you don’t have to have your life threatened today, so…silver lining?”

           “It’s life-threatening indeed,” Buzz stated somberly. “We’re on a mission to stop Zurg from engineering a duplicate of the Motzrothian senator and using his guise to order lax labor laws – “

           “Come on!” XR urged. “Can’t you make this all a little more DRAMATIC? The EVIL EMPEROR ZURG has accessed superior cyborg cloning technology that, in the wrong hands, could bring the entire galaxy to ruination, AND IT HAPPENS TO BE IN THE WRONG HANDS! Only the bravest team in all of Star Command has any hope whatsoever of stopping him! And the key to Zurg’s destruction lies with one man in particular: the bravest, most intelligent, and most ATTRACTIVE robot to ever cross his path – “

           “Okay, we’re stopping there,” Mira interrupted.

           That was when a hover platform bearing Zurg floated down from the sky behind the team, and the evil emperor himself pointed accusingly: “LIGHTYEAR! So you and your team of has-beens decided to show up after all! It’s about time! I was expecting you thirty minutes ago! Does punctuality mean NOTHING to you hero types? Oh, well, no matter. There’s still PLENTY of time for you to hear about how I’ve factored your demise into my newest fiendish plan!”

           “Yeah, why don’t you tell us what you’re planning to do?” Mira asked innocently.

           “Gladly,” Zurg told her. “For, you see, I want you to have a chance to DREAD the excruciating pain I have in store for you.”

           In a low whisper that Rachel knew only she could hear, XR narrated, “A classic gambit. Our heroes trick the overly egotistical villain into bragging about exactly what he plans to do to them…” He’d begun rolling, moving gingerly away from Zurg. “…giving their secret weapon, i.e. me, a chance to find the evil device he’s planted on this planet, disable it before he notices, and then – “

           “OH, NO, YOU ABSOLUTELY DON’T!” Zurg suddenly bellowed mid-monologue. The camera whirled; Zurg was pointing directly at XR. “You think you can get your ROBOT to slip away while I’m instilling dread!” Suddenly he’d zoomed right up before XR, filling the screen. “Just for that, I’m upgrading your torture to the DELUXE package. Intense pain, simultaneous psychological torment, and I get a smoothie. You’ll WISH you were going through your friends’ basic torture package.”

           “Speaking of my friends,” XR said cockily, leaving it at that.

           “Wait – “ Zurg spun a 180, and XR peeked around him to capture on film that while Zurg was distracted threatening XR, the other three had scattered. “WHHHHHAT?”

           “Man, is this guy a moron,” XR commented.

           “WHAT DID YOU JUST CALL ME?” Zurg screamed, turning back to XR.

           “To put it in context,” XR explained, “I’m filming this for a friend, hence the narration.”

           “Wait a minute,” Zurg realized. “Is it the blonde ranger? The one whose name I can never remember? Because I NOTICED she wasn’t here today, but I wasn’t about to SAY anything. I was rather hoping she’d perished when I wasn’t looking, though. But maybe it’s better this way. I mean, now I do get the pleasure of killing her myself. Eventually. Whenever she shows – NO. ENOUGH STALLING!”

           He knocked XR into the sand before taking off to pursue the others.

           Rachel watched the entire mission play out, from Zurg thinking he had the upper hand to his eventual foiling and his rocketing away, crying, “CURSE YOU, BUZZ LIGHTYEEEEAAAR!”. Rachel did in fact wish she were there to live out the magic herself, but really, this was the next best thing.

           “All right, team,” Buzz directed, looking to the wreckage of Zurg’s cyborg cloning device (which admittedly did make Rachel curious as to how exactly it worked). “Time to get this evidence wrapped up and confiscated before some other miscreant comes along and – “

           “Oh, you think you’re gonna pack this all up and ship it off, do ya?” a deep voice broke in. XR’s camera swiveled immediately to observe a familiar figure holding up the device’s energy core in one hand and hovering the other over his chest plate. “I got a better idea. I sell this back to Zurg for the big bucks, and whichever ones of ya I don’t finish off here, he gets to later.”

           “TORQUE!” Buzz, Mira, and Booster chorused.

           “Now, how’s THAT for a plot twist?” XR cried triumphantly.

           Team Lightyear was soon engaged in a battle against the Torque Armada, which was at least seven strong – Rachel kept losing track of exactly how many duplicates were on the field. At one point, one of the Torques was advancing upon XR, declaring, “Now, you, baby, you’re some high-tech stuff. I could use your components.”

           “Hold on,” XR replied, which halted Torque in his tracks. “Could you say that again, but a little louder, with more clarity? And try to sound a little more threatening. You’re the villain here, after all.”

           “Huh?” Torque regarded XR with confusion. “Hey, wait…you filmin’ this?”

           “You may have noticed we’re one short today,” XR informed him. “I’m sending this back to her so she can be here without being here, if you catch my drift.”

           “Oh, this is for Blondie, ain’t it?” Torque realized. “We-he-hell…” He drew himself upright, puffed out his chest, and stood at an angle. “Be sure to get my good side.”

           “Any well-wishes for our out-of-commission teammate?” XR asked.

           “Yeah, I got one,” Torque affirmed. “Hey you, Blondie, you keep on keepin’ on, ya hear? Even when the chips are down and it seems hopeless, ya gotta keep fightin’ the good fight. For instance, you’re probably gonna feel real down after I STRIP YOUR LITTLE ROBOT CAMERAMAN FOR PARTS.”

           That prompted XR to whirl about and head in the opposite direction as quickly as he could, crying out, “THAAAAAT’S ENOUGH OF TORQUE’S CLOSE-UP!”

           Rachel couldn’t help but giggle. After all, she knew he (and the entire team, for that matter) had come out of this okay, or the tape wouldn’t have gotten edited and sent back to her.

           After Torque was subdued, the camera suddenly cut to a view from atop a high plateau; down below, in the desert, four figures were battling. Rachel recognized them as Buzz, Mira, Booster, and someone she really should’ve expected at this point.

           “So, it turns out that our viewing audience was one hundred percent correct,” XR narrated. “Zurg, Torque, and NOS-4-A2 did in fact all strike on the same day. Now, since NOSy is a particularly tough enemy with a sordid history with Star Command, I thought the epic showdown was best filmed from more of a wide angle bordering on bird’s-eye. After all, I don’t want to get cl – YOU don’t want to miss a second of this action! As usual, of course, our heroes are getting the upper hand, and – where’d he go? No, seriously, where is he?”

           NOS-4-A2 had disappeared from the battlefield, and Rachel could see that Buzz, Mira, and Booster were all exchanging shrugs and searching for him in a panic.

           All of a sudden, NOS-4-A2’s face filled the camera, a sly grin plastered across his face. “Playing a little game of hide-and-seek, are we, little one? Hm?” he chuckled. “I do so enjoy the thrill of the chase.”

           The last thing Rachel heard before the visuals cut out was XR yelping “OKAYYOUFOUNDMEYOUWONNOWLEAVEMEALONE – “

           The immediate next scene was of NOS-4-A2, powered down and clamped into iron bands that bound his limbs and prevented him from spreading his wings. “I never doubted for a minute we’d get him,” XR proclaimed. “Of course, it was my idea to play the sitting duck and draw him in so the others could make their move. YOU’RE WELCOME!”

           “I thought it was us who saved you,” Booster said in legitimate confusion. “You were REALLY scared – “

           “WAS NOT,” XR argued.

           Mira chuckled. “I think we’ll leave Rachel to make that call. She probably knows EXACTLY what happened on that subject.”

           Rachel did know exactly what had happened. He was a fraidy-cat moron. He was her personal favorite fraidy-cat moron.

           One more shot of the team grouped up, smiling and waving. “Sorry again you had to miss that, Rachel!” Booster cried.

           “I hope you’re feeling better!” Mira added. “And I hope you had fun watching XR get chased around by all the bad guys!”

           “That is an INCREDIBLE oversimplification of what happened,” XR argued.

           “Lookin’ forward to when you can join us on the adventure again,” Buzz concluded. “Now you get some rest, Rachel.”

           “And so concludes another epic episode of The Adventures of Team Ligh – no, wait,” XR mused, “there has to be a better title for this. Star Command’s Ranger Lightyear? Buzz Lightyear and the Rangers. No, wait, BUZZ LIGHTYEAR OF ST – actually, scrap that: THE ADVENTURES OF XR, ROBOT RANGER.”

           The giggle that came out of Rachel’s throat was riding on a snort.

           “Aaaaand SCENE!” With that final declaration, the tape ended.

           Rachel made a childishly high squeal. He’d really thought to tape the mission for her so she wouldn’t miss out. She could hardly have been happier at that point.

           Way past midnight, again. Time to get back to sleep. Cuddling that burned-marshmallow-smell pillow even tighter; who was around to judge?

 ***

           The doorbell rang.

           Rachel had lost all sense of time. There was sleep, there was the state of waking, and there was the doorbell to facilitate the transition from one to the other.

           The doorbell again. And again. And again –

           Perhaps she was a little too eager to leap out of bed. Her shoulder twinged, reminding her that she had to take it slow. Without even asking who was there, she opened the door.

           XR sped right past her once again, parking in the midst of the living room and swiveling to face her. “How’s the patient?” he asked, his seemingly chipper smile betraying a hint of hidden frustration. “Feeling better? Resting up? Getting her strength back? On the mend? WHO KILLED OREGANO?”

           “So THAT’S what this is about,” Rachel laughed. “And you did SUCH a good job of not letting it show that cliffhanger was bothering you in the tape.”

           “There’s a time for business and a time to resolve cliffhangers,” XR explained. “So are we going to or not?”

           “I am SO looking forward to seeing your face when you see this revelation,” Rachel said with a grin.

           “Ten minutes for popcorn and I’m there,” XR told her. Rachel was at first flattered again that he was concerned with supplying her with food until she remembered that he continually, bafflingly forgot that he couldn’t eat food. It always was rather humorous to watch him try.

           They settled on the bed in their previous configuration. Rachel had discreetly put the pillow back where it had been, feeling almost sneaky in hiding how she’d cradled it in her good arm for the past two nights. XR had at least had the presence of mind to tote a second ice pack – or, perhaps, at this stage, it was a little more than “at least.” Rachel shoveled a fistful of the popcorn that XR was seconds away from remembering the hard way that he couldn’t eat into her own mouth, clicking the next episode of Bulletproof Hearts into play.

           When the mystery was solved (“AN ELEVATOR? Also, I was SURE Castella was behind this one!”) and the action had died down a bit, Rachel asked, “What was your excuse this time?”

           “Well, without you to manage the spreadsheets,” XR explained, “we have a huge backlog of spreadsheets that need to be organized. Which I took it upon myself to do. And that’s what you’re going to tell Nebula if he calls and asks where I am.”

           Why would he call here to ask where you are? Rachel wondered. It’s not like anyone outside the team would draw a connection between me and you. Then, suddenly stricken with dread: “XR, these are fake spreadsheets you made up to get a day off, right? They don’t actually exist, right? WE DON’T ACTUALLY HAVE A BACKLOG OF SPREADSHEETS I’M GONNA NEED TO DO WHEN I GET BACK ON DUTY, RIGHT?”

           XR was dead silent, staring ahead at the screen.

           “XR. DO…THESE…SPREADSHEETS…EXIST?”

           His head swiveled to face her, his eyes appearing half-lidded with emerald light (really, Rachel couldn’t be the only person in the world who noticed how many colors his eye-lights could be, could she?), and he said in the least reassuring tone possible, “SPOILERS.”

 ***

           For the next two weeks, some days, he was there, and it was a neverending stream of snark at the television. Bulletproof Hearts was finished –

           “Am I supposed to feel satisfied or disappointed about that finale? Because both of those are gunning for it.”

           “I dunno what the crew intended, but that’s EVERY fan’s reaction.”

           Despair Days knocked out –

           “So does Spice ever, you know, join the actual main plot?”

           “Not yet. But there ARE rumors of an official next season of BH in production. Nothing confirmed, of course, but – “

           “And you just HAD to get me to the point where that would actually affect me, didn’t you?”

           And after that, just whatever they could find that either was relatively interested in watching, or, more appropriately, interested in yelling and/or laughing at in between synchronized slurps of diet orange soda and 0W SAE J300.

           Some days, he wasn’t there, but at the end of the day, there was always, always a tape chronicling whatever expedition Rachel had missed that day, complete with requests of well-wishes from whoever XR crossed paths with. So far, he’d managed to accumulate:

·      A sullen “Don’t die” from Dr. Furbanna.

·      A tirade from Eon about how fragile primitive lifeforms were, and how he couldn’t imagine living in a body where stressing out a single shoulder could put you out for more than an hour.

·      A “Gargantia wishes its hero well!” from Ambassador Major.

·      A “GARGANTIA SPITS ON YOUR NAME!” from Monumentus.

·      A gruff “You better be staying in bed, ranger. Oh, and get well soon.” from Commander Nebula, with a chorus of chirps from the LGMs in the background.

·      An “Isn’t that the blonde one? Okay, yeah, feel better!” from Petra.

·      A “GOOD. I mean, oh, yes, of course, I have no reason to NOT want you pursuing me!” from Rentwhistle Swack.

·      An “XL is destroying everything, and you want me to say WHAT?” from Savy SL-4.

·      An “I’m trying to destroy everything, and you want me to say WHAT?” from XL.

·      An “ARE YOU KIDDING ME?” from Warp Darkmatter while Evan Aries discreetly made a heart shape with his hands in the background, aiming it at Rachel with a sheepish expression.

           The more the days progressed, Rachel thought, she really ought to lighten up on calling XR a dumbass. He’d more than made up for being the reason for her sprain in the first place. This while chastely cuddling her pillow that now smelled like it had been tossed on a barbecue grill.

 ***

           Finally, she regained the mobility in her shoulder, with only a light tenderness to remind her of the damage, and that would fade soon. Medical cleared her for duty, and she reunited with the rest of Team Lightyear in the mess hall.

           “Good to have you back, Rachel!” Buzz just about gave her a hearty clap on the right shoulder – then remembered and repositioned himself to deal the affectionate blow to her left instead. “It just isn’t the same without all five of us on the team. It’ll be good to have XR back, too.” He shot a glance toward XR. “Not that I don’t approve of you taking time off to spend with Rachel, since…you know…”

           “It WAS his fault she got hurt,” Mira said coldly.

           “Hey now!” XR protested. “We talked about this!”

           “I was going to say because he’s a good friend,” Buzz finished. “And that’s what good friends do. Not that we’re not ALL good friends, but we couldn’t have taken the entire team off the field, and XR was the one who volunteered – “

           “I getcha,” Rachel said with a nod. “Don’t worry. I’m not gonna hold up your analyst anymore. Provided he doesn’t sprain anything else on me.”

           “I make no promises,” XR replied, “but I will try my DARNEDEST. Yes, I said DARNEDEST, so you know I’m serious.”

           “How’d chilling out without us go, by the way?” Mira asked, and Rachel could see the question she was really asking written on her face.

           “Yeah!” Booster echoed, obviously picking up the same thread. “Did anything SPECIAL happen while you two were hanging out?”

           As Rachel, positioned behind XR, frantically made “please no” gestures at the gossipy pair, slicing her hands through the air, XR replied, “As a matter of fact, yes.”

           Even Rachel froze, wondering what he was referring to and hoping against hope -            “Rachel ruined my life by getting me addicted to her stupid show and now I can’t actually not care about what’s going to happen next season.”

           Rachel’s heart restarted beating.

           XR swiveled to look up to her; “You’re SURE we don’t have an airdate on that, by the way?”

           “Not until they finish Despair Days,” Rachel asserted.

           “Yes,” XR snarked, “because we need to focus on this side plot that has NOTHING to do with the remnants of Nort’s plan, has NO connection to Ashe and Braigel picking up the pieces with the relics, and won’t even ADDRESS the fact that Spice and Red are related and whether that means Spice has the golden eyes. I HATE that you made me actually know what I’m talking about.”

           “BUT…IF SPICE AND VERTHANDI BECOME CANON …”

           “Then a thousand fanfictions will be written,” XR said with a smirk, “and it will be that much easier to find your new pen name.”

           God forbid. That would lead him to GEAvillain and a whole can of worms that needed to stay shut. “You’ll never find me,” she said cheekily, covering up the panic associated with the hypothetical that he might, in fact, figure out the identity of JCMotzroth. Changing the subject by force, she looked Buzz in the eye. “Sooooo. How are things with Bonnie?”

           “We, uh…” Buzz rubbed the back of his neck nervously. “We kinda…sorta…didn’t work out.”

           “Oh,” Rachel replied. She’d seen that one coming a mile off, but that didn’t lessen the pain for him, and she knew it. “I’m sorry.”

           “No, no,” Buzz explained, “I was the one who called it off. There was just no spark there. Pun not intended. Anyway, you were right. I shouldn’t have said yes. Only reason I did was because I didn’t wanna let her down, but it just…well, it didn’t feel right after our history! I should’ve just listened to you – “

           Rachel’s stomach began to stir. Being right wasn’t the victory she’d hoped it would be. First of all, it still couldn’t have been easy on Buzz to figure out the relationship was going nowhere. Second, she’d almost put stock in him and Bonnie changing her mind. If Bonnie could turn Buzz’s interest her way, certainly that meant there wasn’t any harm in Rachel putting the subject on the table regarding a certain someone else.

           A certain someone else who chose that moment to say “And WHEN are you going to learn that Rachel and I are always, always, ALWAYS right?”

           That broke the spell. “HEY!” Rachel yelled down at XR. “You weren’t with me on that one at ALL!”

           “Yes, I was,” XR argued. “I definitely didn’t want those two to date. I believe I made that PERFECTLY clear.”

           “Yeah, because you wanted Bonnie for YOURSELF,” Rachel argued. “Not because you thought she was making Buzz uncomfortable!”

           “I knew she was making him uncomfortable, which is why I so GRACIOUSLY stepped in to divert her attention – “

           “Bull SHIT.”

           “It’s all back to normal around here, all right,” Mira said teasingly.

           Heading out of the mess hall, XR told Rachel, “You know, now that you’ve made a diehard Bulletproof Hearts addict out of me, I have to pay you back.”

           “What do YOU have that you could POSSIBLY get me into?” Rachel asked.

           “I bet I could make a gambler out of you,” XR teased, knowing full well that had a snowball’s chance in the sun’s core of happening.

           “Yeah, no,” Rachel told him. “Keep dreaming.”

           “Wanna bet? Ten unibucks says you get into it.”

           “I’ll take tha – OHHHH. I SEE WHAT YOU ARE TRYING TO DO. AND IT IS NOT GOING TO WORK. NO BET.”

           They glared at each other, as was customary, before their expressions softened, allowing each other a smile.

           Far be it from Rachel to sacrifice a good friendship over feelings she had no business even having. All the same, it felt sour within to know that she could never tell him. She wasn’t about to become his Bonnie Lepton. And she wasn’t about to be his mistake.

[henry-hart]

Mo’ Danger, Mo’ Problems s1 ep2

this one is long, just saying. lolol I just really loved it and had a lot to say :))))))

“OK HEN’S VOICE IS DIFFERENT IN THIS EP asjlksjk guess there was time btw this one and the pilot

he’s still incredibly adorable tho

“He’s gotta fix that elevator.” ...and then he never did lolol

OKAY so 13 yr old Henry found a way across town at almost 12 at night???? NO MY SON. THAT IS DANGEROUS (also does Swellview have a bus system??? did he walk??? I need to know.)

“’Put this watch on your wrist.’ Sure. What else would I put it on???” .....

hologram Ray pretending that Hen poked his eye out askjsl

“I’m gonna contact you on this watch now.” “What do I do with the old one?” “Toss it up in the air.” “.....Why?” “It’s about to self-destruct.” “Dahhh!” *tosses watch but it doesn’t do anything* “Hmm. That’s weird It’s supposed to--” BAM lololol

Do you think they chose Puerto Rico history for Hen’s test subject bc Jace is Puerto Rican??? I mean, it’s a lil specific to be coincidence (i hope they did)

“Ah, Puerto Rico. Land of....” “Puerto Ricans???” “Right.” alakjsklj

I FORGOT ABOUT THIS EP. THIS ONE IS SO FUNNY!!!! (I’m remembering what happens later in the ep lol)

antique bottle shop named “Glass from the Past” gotta love the witty names

“Let’s blow some bubbles and fight some crime.” so I see we aren’t into lame puns yet lolol

the “awwww my boot!” line is in this ep “Up the boot! Ow!” “HA!”

“Give me that pretty lavender bottle...because it matches my motorcycle helmet.” asjdlkj you can always count on hd bad guys to be goofy “You better bubble wrap that, chump! That ain’t no good to me busted.”

soooooo Ray walks in through the front door of the shop while Hen just....kind of.....walks in from...the side??? Like, Jace literally just entered from the side of the stage/set. wowowow lol

“Kid Danger.” “Yeah.” he looks so smug ajsklsjksjlk like, “that’s right. you know who i am.”

Ray telling the robber to try hitting him again lolol “Try to keep your arm straight.” 

*robber hits him* “Strike three.” Hen pops in “That was only two...” “Okay, don’t correct me in front of the criminals.”

RAY YOU JUST THREW THE ROBBER INTO THAT MAN’S GLASS. WUT R U DOING???

“You really want to fight us?” looks at KD “Can I just fight the kid?” Hen’s all “???” lolol

“No you can’t just fight the--” “Sure he can! Come on, tough guy.” “Ok.” *puts his helmet over Hen’s head*

poor Hen is just spinning around 

golf clubs in a store that sells glass. that’s gonna end well.

“KD! Catch this golf club!” *hits Hen in the head* aksjlsjsk

CM AND KD YOU ARE NOT HELPING!!!! YOU ARE BREAKING ALL THAT POOR MAN’S GLASS!!!!

“CM! Where are you?” “Follow the sound of my voice!” *a game of Marco/Polo w/ A LOT OF GLASS BREAKING ensues*

“Would you superheroes just leave!!!!” I feel for you, man.

Ray had to stop a wild, golf club swinging Henry lolol

“Where is he??? Did I get him???” he asks, standing amidst all the glass he broke while RAY got the bad guy 

“Yeah, you got him.”

“My whole store is destroyed!” “No need to thank us.” “Thank you?” “You’re welcome.” Ray y r u lik dis

Hen’s hair is all wild from the helmet ajskjlskj

“Let’s go, KD.” “NO!!! Nobody leaves until you boys clean up all of this broken glass.”

MY POOR BB HAS TO BE UP AT 7 FOR SCHOOL. RAY YOU DID NOT NEED TO CALL HIM TO HELP YOU. YOU ENDED UP GETTING THE BAD GUY ALL BY YOURSELF. HENRY JUST BROKE MORE GLASS. LET MY SON GET HIS SLEEP!!!!

“This will only take us like....5 hrs. I’ll get u a broom!” *Hen just sinks to the floor* :(((((

Ms. Shapen just gave Hen a wet willy. aksjlksj The ever classy Sherona Shapen, ladies and gents.

CHARLOTTE IS SO TINY. EVEN THE KIDS IN THE BACK OF THE CLASS ARE SO TINY. THEY’RE. ALL. SO. TINY.

“This is what happens when you stay up all night on Twitflash and Twittlegram.” alksjskjls

poor Hen slept through his whole test (much like in my fic....hee hee)

J....y wud u want....a....wet willy???? (I love Ms. Shapen’s answering face alksjlskj)

Hen just drops back down on his desk. my son :((((

THE FIRST EVER TITLE SEQUENCE!!!!!! (last ep just had the title of the show. this one has the whole “It all just kind of happened” shebang)

“Now I protect the good citizens of Swellview.” Do you Ray? Do you?? (peep him charging ppl for that “protection” in a few years)

Hen just pouring an ENTIRE POT OF COFFEE into, as Char calls it, “a comedically large cup.” askdksjslk I fell you. I don’t drink coffee, but i. feel. you.

never get tired of these whack shows they watch on here. Natural surgery???? Surgery w/ no anesthesia??? what is that???? lolol

“You’re 13. You can’t be drinking this much coffee!!!!” “But I need it!”

concerned friends ftw

Jasp asking Hen about puberty......

“I haven’t had any dreams bc I’m not getting any sleep.” my bb...:(((

“I always have the same dream. It starts with me getting a horse for my bday. Then Jasp shows up. Then the horse kicks Jasp in the face.” “But I end up being okay, right?” “No.” her face kills me lolol

SIREN HART IS BACK ON MY SCREEN AGAIN. IT IS A BLESSED DAY.

“We’re home! Hen come help me please.” “HENRY, COME HELP YOUR MOTHER!!!” gotta love that s1 Piper

“What what what???” that’s exactly how I respond too hen alksjslkj

HEN MAKING DINNER. :’)))) I. MISS. THESE. DAYS. THE. HART. FAM. IS. MY. FAVE. AND. THEY’RE. NEVER. TOGETHER. ANYMORE. *cries*

how does one make chili balls????

“Make them spicy this time.” I love Piper so much gah

“Seriously? I’m like so busy. I don’t have time.” Ya’ll....the way he said this. he sounds so stressed.....my bb....I’m crying.

remember the days when Piper used to be anti-having Jasp in the house?? lolol I mean, she probs still is now, but she used to be a lot more vocal about it. “Aw man, Jasper’s here???” “Piper be nice.” “But Jasper’s always here. It’s NOT okay!!!”

“I’m going to the bathroom.” “Oh no, mom. Jasper’s going to use our bathroom.” ajskjslj

Piper telling on everyone as soon as her dad gets home akjslksj classic

their dad was a lot more....tolerable earlier on. I don’t mean he’s a bad character or anything. It’s just, he’s usually played for laughs now instead of being a parent. We get to see him actually parenting Hen in this ep, and it’s so nice. 

“Jasper’s using our bathroom.” “Oh jeez.” Like father like daughter kajslkj (also looks like Hen got his phrase from his dad. cute!)

“and Henry said he’s not gonna make dinner.” “What??? It’s his night!” “I’M GONNA MAKE DINNER!” leave my son alone, Jake (he’s my son. not yours.)

YAS. JAKE SITTING DOWN WITH HENRY TO GIVE HIM A NICE PARENT TALK ABOUT MS. SHAPEN CALLING HIM ABOUT HENRY’S FAILED TEST. YAS. YAS. YAS. I LOVE ME SOME HEALTHY FAMILIAL CONTENT!!!!!

“She called you at work?!?.....Ah, that’s so rude of her. God.” alksjslk nice save hen

“Do you realize how important Puerto Rican history is???” aksjlkjs I really thing they’re doing this bc of Jace. Like, I really do. 

Hen apologizing for letting his dad down :’))))

JAKE. HART. BEING. CONCERNED. FOR. HIS. SON. YASSSSS. He sees that maybe having a job is causing Hen’s grades to slip THIS is how you parent. (wish i had me a dad like that...)

you don’t get your 12 yr old daughter to drive u home from mouth surgery.....looking at you s4

“I can’t quit! My job’s a really big deal.” *puts hand on his dad’s leg* “It’s a junk shop. *moves Hen’s hand* You sweep the floors.” ajskjskjskl if only you knew

Hen’s like “I’m gonna go upstairs and study right now!” he takes off and his dad grabs him at the last second and makes him do this spin and akjsljs I just thought that was funny

“You study after you make the chili balls. And make them spicy this time.” He and Piper share this look lolol they’re so similar. it’s crazy

Hen yawning as he serves dinner :(((( he doesn’t even eat. he’s going without food AND sleep. MY SON NO!!!!

“I posted a pic, and now it has 45 comments. So now i have to comment on the comments!” “I’m about to comment on you.” asklkjskl (too tru tho Pipes)

RAYMOND. STOP FUSSING AT MY SON. HE IS TRYING HIS HARDEST. HE CAN ONLY DO SO MANY THINGS AT ONCE.

“Why aren’t you on your way over here???” “Because. I got in trouble for sleeping in class....and i had to make chili balls.” “Chili...balls?” “It was ‘my night’.”  lolol I love the way Hen says that. so snarky

Hen stretching over his bed like “I’m just gonna....” slaps himself in the face to keep up “Maybe I can just....I’m just gonna lie down. 5 minutes tops. just 5 min” before he just passes out is SUCH a mood.

Okay, Ray coming in thru hen’s window all angry in covered in sewage is HILARIOUS

like, I love this little “I’m gonna kill him” angry dance thing he does aksjlkjs

oh my god he’s waving his smell in Hen’s direction asjksjsl

“Awww what’s that smell???” “I’m that smell!”

“Well, Ray, I guess I fell asleep.” “WeLl I gUeSs I fElL aSlEeP!!!” Ray u sound like scooby-doo aksjskj

“You know what’s down in the Swellview sewer???” “....poop.” “POOP!”

omg I forgot about Pipes being suspicious of the voices in Hen’s room 

“Who are u talking to in here???” “Nobody.” “MOM!!!!!” “Aw jeez.” using his dad’s phrase :)))))

Hen blaming the smell on piper aksjlslkj

“It’s Piper.” “What???” “She hasn’t had a bath in a week.” “That’s a lie!”

“You disappointed me tonight.” “I’m disappointing everybody. People should just call me ‘Kid Disappointment’.” Hen....:((( (but the way he said the last part was really funny akjdlskj)

WHAAAATTT???? RAY WANTS HEN TO TALK TO HIM TO HELP FIGURE OUT A SOLUTIONG TO A PROBLEM???? YOU MEAN HE’S NOT BEING UNJUSTIFIABLY PARANOID OR RIDICULOUS??? HE’S NOT JUMPING TO CONCLUSIONS??? HE’S NOT BREAKING THE LAW OR HARMING OTHERS OR DOUBTING HENRY’S INTEGRITY????? WHAAAATTT????

^^^^^that was a jab at the Ray we’ve seen as of late

“Time. School. Working for you. My family. It’s just a lot to handle.” TOO TRUE HENRY. TOO. FREAKING. TRUE.

“I do know a guy who can get rid of your family.” Who, Ray. Who do you know?

Ray actually wanting to fix a problem rather than make it worse. Yes.

and so begins Ray’s crush on Siren. Nice try dude. My crush began the second she was on screen. 

“Who’s this?” “My mom.” “Niiiiiiice. Is she still, uh, married to your dad, or--” “Yes.” “Does she ever seem lonely or--” “Go home, Ray.” 

“The picture, Ray.” 

aksjdklj I love that interchange.

also Hen just has this portrait of his mom in his room lolol what a momma’s boy :)))))

Jasp x Char covering for Hen even tho they have no idea what’s up ;’))))

GOOCH. MY MAN.

Henry does NOT have hepatitis Japser!!!! ajslkjslk

Gooch and Hen harmonizing those weird sounds omg lolol

“Oohloolooloooloooo--why am I doing this?!??!?!”

“Relax, kid.” “I can’t. I’ve got a huge makeup test  tomorrow. I need to study, and you guys are making me go ‘oohloolooloo’“ “It’s ‘Oohloolooloo--” “I don’t care!!!!” I LOVE sassy Henry

all studying done in 30 seconds???? Where can i get me one of these???

“It’s a cerebral data transducer--or as we call it, the HRZ.” wtf???? lolol

“Why am i locked in a chair???” Hen asking the real questions. 

the way Ray says “Puerrrrto RRRRRicoooo!” 

“Will this hurt???” “Yes.” WHAT???” lolol

okay can you imagine the now jace being as extra as this jace??? No??? I didn’t think so. lololol

“Well?” “That hurt BAAAAD!!!”

“I don’t know anything about P--” *starts spitting out random PR facts* askjljsk “Wooooaaahhhh. I know Puerto Ricoooooo.” 

the amount of times they’ve said Puerto Rico in this ep is crazy. I’m definitely convinced they did this for Jace alskjskl

“Do you think it’s cheating???” “Ehhhh.” “It’s a gray area.” GOOCH X RAY ARE MY FAVES. (i love Schwoz, but Ray x Gooch had some good chemistry.)

“I really doing this appreciate you for me.’ ASKLJDLKSJ I LOVE THIS PART OF THE EPISODE. THE SIDE EFFECTS ARE MY FAVORITE PART. 

at first, i didn’t even register that he’d switched the order of the words. I was like, “Ok, I knew what he meant, but something about it made my brain feel weird???” lololol

I wonder if Jace had a hard time getting the mixed up order right akjsksl

I love the way Ray says “Uh oh.” with his eyes closed. Like, “I knew this might happen, but I was really hoping it wouldn’t.” lksjklsj

“Well you could’ve before that you told me!!!” THESE PARTS ARE MAKING ME LAUGH SO HARD.

Henry: *screams all high-pitched* aljsklsjls I’M CACKLING

I FORGOT HOW MUCH I LOVED THIS EPISODE!!!!!!!!

“So I’m gonna girl like a days for a few screams---wait.” LOLOLOLOL

*screams again*

“.......You guys wanna get lunch?” CLASSIC Ray. (can something be classic already in the first ep??? I guess the word is vintage. VINTAGE Ray.....but those r the same thing??? I don’t know ajksjlsk)

“The Vermont army finally surrendered and fled the coconut plantations.” “Coconuts in Vermont?” askjslkj school really be like that sometimes

Jasper just doodling the whole time. ME.

“Okay everyone. Get out.” Ms. Shapen is a constant mood. lolol

“100 my makeup test on I got!!!.....I mean, I got a hundred on my makeup test???” aksjlk I love u Hen

*randomly screams* “...” “.... That was inappropriate.” “I just got excited.”I CAN’T TELL YOU HOW MUCH THIS PART MAKES ME LAUGH ALKSJKLSJ

“I’m really proud of you, Henry. I’d give you a hug if it wouldn’t get me fired.” ajsksj 

“Have a good weekend.” “Too you.” “....”

Henry said “Yeah, baby!” to Char. :))))) (I know it was just a quick thing on the fly, but it’s still cute)

“Where were you?” “I go to had somewhere.” 

ya’ll. Henry’s mix ups are KILLING me.

“One more time???” “I. had. to. go. somewhere. Nailed it.”

*randomly screams again*

CHAR’S SCARED FACE. I’M DYING.

“You later see!” ALKSJKLJSK

I LAUGHED FOR THE ENTIRETY OF THE END OF THIS EPISODE. 

I JUST REALLY LOVE THIS EPISODE. I FORGOT HOW MUCH I DID, AND IT WAS GREAT TO BE REMINDED. 

this ep had it all

tired/overworked/stressed hen and his supportive friends and fam

then there’s that GOLDEN last two minutes with the side effects

just. wow.

props to Jace for doing an incredible job

he really delivered the goofiness. love my boy :))))))

rewatching these was such a good idea <3333

[rahleeyah]

Okay okay first of all, PM me if you really don’t care about these and I’ll stop lol! Post ep thoughts on a first time viewing of “Savior”

1. Rich Girl Liv makes an appearance! She can spot a $2k purse a mile away and Elliot knows it. Now all I can think about is how he went home that night with the reminder that she lived an entirely different life before meeting him and how he sometimes feels entirely inadequate with her history and culture and he just has a million kids at home and doesn’t get to do fancy shit cause he’s tired, Kathy is tired and he never buys Kathy purses like that and Kathy never got to the point in life where she bought purses like that for herself cause someone always needed something. 💔

2. Oh man the NICU. Baby #2 spent some time in there and I had a flashback to the endless amount of hand washing (up to the elbows!) before being allowed in and how visitors are extremely limited (prob no cops allowed). Giggled about how cavalier a stay this 24 week micro preemie had with all these cop visitors. (Before anyone worries, mine was an 8lb NICU baby who tried to roll over in his little crib thing. He’s now a beast of a child who put me in traction making me carry his 40lb healthy self this weekend)

3. Lee is completely underutilized this episode and why is it so hot when he and Elliot pray together?

4. We just never hear about this baby and the medical decisions Liv makes again? Okay. 🤦🏻‍♀️

5. I desperately need a scene in S23 where it’s very apparent to Elliot that Liv is a MOM now and it just punches him in the gut and he can’t breathe. He missed it. And he should have been there. And I need a moment where Liv is so fucking smug but also angry. Smug because she knows Elliot was about to use his classic “you don’t understand you’re not a parent” line and HE CAN’T THROW THAT IN HER FACE ANYMORE, but angry because she realizes he’s always been right and being a parent is SOOOO different and changes the game and she HATES that he’s right. But she also knows that he violated parent rule #1 which is that you don’t need to throw in non-parent’s faces that it’s different because there is just no way of knowing before you KNOW. I have this scene in mind where she just unloads on him about how she always expected him to be there when she became a mom. Just yelling how when the squad chipped in for a crib and car seats and a high chair and stroller and baby bouncers she just always thought he would have been there to get some ridiculous gift because his kids loved it and he thought it would help her out. How she always imagined rolling her eyes at his unsolicited dad advice and imagined refusing to take it but then breaking down and using it and URGH sometimes he would fucking be right and it would irritate her to no end.

6. I don’t think Elliot ever really agreed with how Kathy raised the kids. Like I think there is a lot of child-rearing fights that happen in the Stabler household. Elliot thinks Kathy is too permissive and let’s the kids off too easy, and Kathy is just always so angry and irritated because if he wants an opinion he should be there more often and she’s just one person basically doing it alone.

No I love these keep em coming 🙌🙌🙌

1) oh you just gonna wreck me right out the gate with Rich Girl Liv casually recognizing class and Kathy never getting anywhere near it. Kathy, who was stripped of her opportunity for a different, maybe better life, as much if not more than Elliot. Kathy bby you deserved better.

2) oooof that's so scary fam I'm glad your little one recovered. But like yeah they're not about following protocol lmaooo

3) lmaoooo I mean. Idk but it is

4) YEAH WE JUST NEVER HEAR ABOUT THIS BABY AGAIN. "hey Olivia we know you always wanted a child and here is a vulnerable little baby entrusted to your care make a life or death decision for this child right now OR ELSE" and then. No follow up. Which. I think we all know what that means 😭

5) the fact that Elliot missed this milestone in Olivia's life will never not destroy me. He should have been there. He promised to support her and help her in any way she needed to make this dream a reality and then he left and she did it all by herself. And Elliot watching her, seeing that she is a good mom, a great mom, like he always knew she would be? Olivia confronting him about it? Oh my heart

6) that's a really interesting take and honestly I can see it. And like. Elliot loves his kids of course he does but he is damaged by his upbringing and his work and he gets so angry with them and so controlling and aggressive that I can totally see a) him thinking Kathy is too lenient and b) Kathy thinking he's an asshole who's too hard on them. And the fact that Kathy is basically doing it all by herself makes that even worse, bc not only has he put her in this position where everything is on her, when he does try to interfere and be a parent he comes very close to being a bully sometimes and I can see her being so defensive of the kids bc they deserve better than a dad who's almost never around, and is angry when he is. Kathy baby you never should have let him come back 😭 like don't get me wrong I love him and he is not a horrible dad and he is not mean to his kids every second but that temper jumps out a lot. I like to think he mellowed after he left the NYPD tho. Like. He is no longer under that pressure, and he is no longer terrified for his kids now that he's not seeing new threats against them every single day and plus they're older and moving on and he's (maybe) spending more time with Kathy and Eli than he was able to spend with the older kids when they were small.