#wc 30k+
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The Search For His Goddess
by Dayglade
Summary:
Poseidon and Aphrodite always play this game, making themselves mortal and trying to find each other. Thousands of years later, you'd think they'd have tired of it by now...
As a human, Poseidon-- or as he's more commonly known, Dream-- spends his days playing Minecraft and making videos with his friends. He's more-or-less made peace with the knowledge that he won't be seeing his goddess any time soon, but who needs her when he has his online friend George to gush over and secretly pine for?
Or Dream is Poseidon and George is an asshole
#dnf fic recs#greek mythology au#god/goddess au#wc 1k+#wc 5k+#wc 10k+#wc 20k+#wc 30k+#multi chapter#angst with a happy ending#getting together#poseidon dream#aphrodite george#identity reveal#mistaken identity#hurt/comfort
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wait disclaimer as i wrap up writing part one of this mydei series itâs not going to be THAT long LOLOL itâs only three parts after all đ i have written some crazy hefty stuff in the past but this is more just elaboration on an idea not necessarily a full Thing
#part one is looking like it will be abt 10k words so i am guessing the wc for the entire series will be like. 30k words give or take??#donât hold me to that but yeah LOL thatâs the plan#sorry if anyone was expecting another 100-200k word banger#mâs thoughts
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well after 2 years...only like 2 more hours to finish up some last scenes and an edit đđ„ł
#the first time divorcees club#tftdc ch 8#ch 8 (june) has been split into two parts though#hence the slightly lower than usual wc#and i know that 19k is a ridiculous number to call 'low' but somehow i've set a 30k standard for myself with these chapters lol#feeling lots of terror and excitement rn its been SO LONG
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maybe this is my ""hot take"" for the warrior cats community, but are we really as a fandom complaining about the songs people are using in maps?
i can understand it from a "there should be more diverse music used" standpoint, but getting genuinely upset with younger people in the fandom using hazbin hotel songs or making the 100th rasputin map or whatever isn't the way to get your point across-
(the only reason you should really be mad at kids using hazbin hotel songs is the fact that they're kids using hazbin songs, kids need to get as far away from that as possible, it is a very adult show- not overly relevant but thought i should get that fact out of the way; or i guess people probably shouldn't be making maps using poison, that is the least appropriate song you should be using at all, but at the very least hazbin songs as a whole are just not thematically appropriate regardless of the fact that they're too mature for kids to be using)
the same goes for tearing into people for their music tastes
i thought there were more adults in this fanbase, but considering the amount of people i've seen have that attitude makes me begin to consider otherwise
is there REALLY no better way to get across the message that there should be more diverse songs used in warrior cats maps? i guarantee you, people will be 100% more willing to get on board with that if you stopped tearing other people, their music tastes, and their own projects apart
i also think that there's a serious problem with people in the map community being put on a pedestal-
i think people are forgetting that the warrior cats map community is a part of a fandom and ISN'T a funded studio making full tv shows or whatever, you all need to really stop talking and thinking about it like that, do you not realize how harmful that is?
the warrior cats map community is a group of warrior cats fans who like to animate characters from a book series to music they like, THAT'S IT
the people in the community are not celebrities and the majority of them are doing it for fun in their spare time and do not plan to be/are not professional animators or creators and on top of that, many of them are beginners or kids looking to have fun so trying to tear into them for having fun doesn't make you anything other than an absolute ass in my mind
it's one thing to go "man, why are there so many hazbin hotel maps popping up? what about hazbin hotel screams 'turn me into a warrior cats animation' at all?"
but it's another to start loudly complaining about how "UGH THERE'S NO GOOD WARRIOR CATS MAPS ANYMORE, I WISH SOMEONE WOULD START MAKING GOOD WARRIOR CATS ANIMATIONS AGAIN LIKE *insert whatever maps you want*"
i would like to remind you, warrior cats maps are fan projects- you are also a fan! make that map you have an idea for!
"but what if no one joins it? what if not enough people join and it doesn't get made? what if i fail completely? the warrior cats map community is hard to get into"
valid concerns! but isn't at the very least *trying* better than sitting on twitter loudly complaining and waiting for someone to do something for you? that sounds much more fulfilling to me at least, and even then you can try again!
maybe it's just my corner of the internet, but i don't see a whole lot of people advertising their maps, i see people *complaining* that not enough people are making maps that they want to see and i think that's something that should really change
i WANT to see more diverse and creative warrior cats maps, but i also don't want to stop seeing people making the maps that they want to make, whether that be the millionth mapleshade map to a breakup song! i don't care, let people have fun and make what they want to make as long as they're not hurting anyone!
#warrior cats#warriors#warrior cats map#wc map#mini rant#i am not used to ranting like this online#at least not like... in posts like this so this is a bit odd for me#i'm usually the type of person to just keep my thoughts to myself but this just really annoyed me#when did fandom spaces become so antagonistic? i have no idea when but twitter is one of the WORST places#it's not necessarily why i left twitter#i left it because it's being completely run into the ground but it's still not the most appealing place to be#i will give it one point though#it sure is better than tiktok!#i wonder if anyone remembers me from when i did fnaf fanart and i got like 30K followers on tiktok#does literally anyone from that period of time even follow me anymore? i'm honestly kind of curious alkdjsfkl
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Iâm SO determined to finish my tae mma story,,, like seriously I plan to post the teaser sometime this month I canât stand working on this thing anymore đđđ
#ITS HOLDING ME FUCKING HOSTAGE#SIX MONTHS#SIX. MONTHS.#the amount of research Iâve done is actually insane đđđ#18k currently.#estimated wc will probably be around..#30k T-T#Iâll even post snippets if u guys want#rambles
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Reading something with more than 8k words feels like a novel that I will NOT be reading đ my adhd would drown itself.
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here's this month's top 10 best Jungkook fan fics, [ for Jan ]


.âïž ĘË make you mine by @mercurygguk
friends to lovers ; college au ! slow burn | 37k wc
.âïž ĘË meraki by @taegularities
enemies to lovers ; grumpy x sunshine | 26k wc
.âïž ĘË limerence by @kooktrash
exes to lovers | 18k
.âïž ĘË not in that way by @girlygguk
childhood f2l's | 30k wc
.âïž ĘË i don't mind by @bratkook
strangers to lovers ; band au | 66k
.âïž ĘË bewitching by @taegularities
fwb ; vampire au | 10k wc
.âïž ĘË between takes by @jeonstudios
pornstar au | series [ the best fic everrr! ]
.âïž ĘË coquet by @shina913
fake boyfriend ; escort au | series
.âïž ĘË one night stand by @buryhny [ me!! ]
enemies to lovers ; ceo au! | 150k wc
.âïž ĘË wait for your love by @spideyjimin
parents au ; firefighter! | 17k wc
like my recommendations? check my monthly reading list.
#bts fanfic#bts#btswritersclub#jungkook#jungkook fanfic#jeon jungkook#jungkook x reader#jungkookfanfic#jungkook recs#jungkook smut#jungkook scenarios#jungkook seven#jungkook romance#jungkook x you#jungkook x y/n#jungkook x oc#jungkook x original character
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Review Written for The K-Fic Collection.
Minghao is the biggest sweetheart to have ever sweethearted. You truly wrote him in such a lovely way, heâs extra precious in this!
Thank you for writing this story and sharing it with us!
When I was reading, I decided to write down my thoughts as I go, as I knew I'd forget otherwise. Below this is literally just the thoughts I wrote down because I do not have the brain power to convert them into actual fully coherent comments [I'll put them below a read more cut for the sake of spoilers and such].
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â even that one elderly woman who always sent her steak back because it was never done well enoughâŠshe hadn't sent it back the night you served her. â galâs got skills
â His fingers covered the edge of the bar so you wouldn't hit yourself â what a thoughtful boyo
â Turns out that a bit out of the way for you, meant two blocks from Minghaoâs apartment. â what a coinkydink
â making you snort and hit your head on his window â and that made me snort
â perches on the hood â idk why but the mental image of minghao sitting on the bonnet is weirdly very attractive
â All you knew is that he was Xu Minghao, and if he was meant to break your heart â so be it. â it is what it is đ€·ââïž
â "Two things, gorgeous."â lighten the blow with a petname, good idea (this is me distracting myself from wanting to scream from the petname ngl)
â He opened the door and helped you climb in, even going as far as buckling your seatbelt for you despite your whining protests that you could do it yourself. â aw, what a helpful babie
â That's a crucial part of friendship, isn't it? Trust? â it is indeed
â while he stayed up an extra two hours â washing and ironing your work uniform. He even took your socks. â oh, he is a sweetheart
â He was a bit like a parent in that sense â ngl, I read âparentâ as âpervertâ at first and it made me laugh. But parent definitely makes more sense đ
â "Graduation is coming up. I know we've only just started getting close, but I got you a ticket to mine in case you'd like to be there." â đ„ș
â a pair of earrings and a lease. â I HATE MY BRAIN I READ THIS AS LEASH AT FIRST, I AM JUST CRACKING UP OMG đđđ
â "You're not me, pretty. And you're my friend, I'd go as far as even saying you're one of my best friends. I love you and I care about what stresses you out, and I'd give my left arm to make life easier for you." â screeching, heâs so precious đ„ș
â "Ooh, full name. Don't hurt me, I might like it." â omg I snorted đđ
â They then did the diabolical, classic meddling-manager thing: they scheduled ALL of your shifts together. â lool tbh, same
â "Sweetheart? I don't call my friends that." She teased, and you sighed. â I do! Iâm all for platonic petnames hehe
â "Tell you what, pretty. I'll work my shift, and we can celebrate after. Just you and me." â wink wonk
â "I did not cuss you out! I merely asked what in the most significant fuck you thought you were doing." â that made me laugh
â "Can you hold me?" â oh, why is that so đ„ș
â "I don't have a crush on her. I'm in love with her." â screaming
â "All I know is that if you're meant to break my heart â so be it." â it is what it is
muddled hearts đč x.mh [m]
âł part of the 'lonely hearts cafe' collab!
synopsis: things take a turn for the better when you finally find a roommate to escape your incredibly overpriced apartment, but you don't expect to ruin the only relationship that matters to you in the process. genre: forced proximity au. coworkers/friends/roommates idiots to lovers. angst, fluff, suggestive themes. pairing: bartender!xu minghao x fem!waitress!reader | side pairings: restaurant owners!jeongcheol ; bartender!seungkwan x waiter!hansol ; chef!mingyu x hostess!tzuyu (twice) word count: 24k rating: 18+. minors do not interact. warnings: swearing, alcohol (obviously??) mentions of food/eating. reader has a strained relationship with her parents. jeongcheol/verkwan/tzugyu are all plot devices. unspoken pining, kissing. what to listen to: am pm - jay b, wheein ; you and me - lifehouse ; runnin' - the pharcyde ; no one noticed - the marĂas ; have u found what ur looking for? - ashton irwin ; on the line - blood orange author's note: the loml and the haologram namesake has officially debuted on this blog! while i am not entirely satisfied with this piece, that's okay and i still love the idea i put forth and the way i expressed what i could on the time crunch i gave myself. i will likely work on a spinoff for this, or just something to delve more into their backstory and developing them. special thank you to my lovely beta readers @diamonddaze01 @lovetaroandtaemin @tomodachiii <3 please enjoy!

A YEAR AGOâŠ
"I need a Guinness." That was the first thing you ever said to Xu Minghao. You'd been hired by Seungcheol, one of the restaurant owners, three weeks prior but hadn't worked a shift with Minghao yet.
Therefore, he didn't know your name or when you even got there. There hadn't been any murmur of a new girl, much less a pretty one â which was odd for the establishment. Full of meddling college students and a married couple who ran the place, there was bound to be some gossip. Something about your looks, your demeanor, anything â but no. Nothing had flown down the grapevine.
You didn't bother to introduce yourself, either. Your eyes were pointed until he quirked a brow, scoffing out a laugh and pouring the drink for you. He'd said nothing as you took it, skirting around several clients and even a busboy and delivered it with a smile on your face to the awaiting patronâŠ
âŠWho slipped a tip into your apron with a greasy smile, and you kept yours on your lips until you were out of the patron's line of sight. Then, tucked into the serving staff's corner, he saw the way your shoulders sagged, a look of disgust on your face as you shivered. He clicked his tongue to himself, but filed the vision away to the back of his mind.Â
He spent the rest of the night silently giving you the drinks you asked for, or speaking to his regulars as he made your cocktails. You always waited patiently, your fingers spinning your pen expertly as you watched over the patrons of the restaurant. He watched the way you sped past everyone, wormed your way through gathered crowds, and even ducked under trays being carried by your fellow servers.Â
You got your job done, and you got it done fast â your patrons visibly happy with your service and your apron slightly overflowing with tips when you slid behind the bar and tucked them into your lockbox without a word to him.
It wasn't until you bid your last patron a good night that he saw your shoulders relax, your fingers yanking the elastic out of your hair and shaking it out. The relief on your forehead was noticeable as you walked back to the bar, opening the fridge behind him and grabbing a can of the orange juice he used for some of the cocktails on the menu.
"D'you mind? I know they're counted." He shook his head as he skirted past you with his tray full of cups, the glasses clinking against each other while he made his way to the back. Your fellow servers were gathered around the heat of the kitchen, leaning against the wall or stretching their overworked limbs. He kept to himself, hearing them whisper about the new girl.
"She's so pretty." "Yeah, but she doesn't talk. I tried to talk to her back here a couple times, and she just keeps it short." "She's here to work."
"So am I, but at least I'm not rude." He set his dishes into the washer, cursing to himself when he realized he forgot his shakers at the bar. He was about to start the cycle when he heard the soft clanking of metal against metal, seeing your closed can of orange juice tucked into your shirt pocket as you held out his tray of shakers.Â
"Thought you might need these, wouldn't want you to make unnecessary trips."
He thanked you with a smile, taking the black tray as you cracked open your can, shrugging as you turned on your heel and walked away. The servers looked appalled as you grabbed the sanitizer spray before walking out of the kitchen, a rag already hanging from your belt loop. They looked at Minghao, who quietly loaded the shakers into the machine â wondering how he got you to speak to him.
The answer was plain and simple â he was a crucial part of the services you provided as a waitress. You clearly didn't need help with your tables: he watched how easily you maneuvered through picky eaters and entitled elderly women, all in one night. He saw how you smiled and greeted people warmly and enthusiastically, something the other servers weren't very good at but hey â a buck is a buck.
He wormed back out of the kitchen amongst the whispers, rolling his eyes as he stretched his arms over his head. You were wearing headphones, nodding your head along to something as you wiped down every table and chair.
He slid back behind the bar and started his own closing duties, but he took a moment to take you in fully â the soft slope of your nose, the way your brows furrowed as you ran your rag over particularly sticky spots. The purse of your lips as you mouthed along to whatever it was that you were listening to.
"Do you need any help?"Â Â
You were in front of the bar now, holding one of your earbuds in your hand as you raised a brow at him. He shook his head before extending his hand out to you.
"I don't believe we've met. I'm Minghao."
You were wary as you shook his hand, but your grip was nice and firm as you did so.Â
"Y/N. Sorry if I was kind of emotionless during the shift, it helps me focus better if I'm not talking to people while I work." He shook his head again, as if to say no worries, before reaching under the bar and pulling your lockbox for you. You thanked him softly as you took it in your hands, walking away towards Seungcheol and Jeonghan's office to do your tip-out for the night. He finished his duties quickly, even managing to rearrange the cups and shakers for the morning bartender as the servers came to him one by one and gave him his share of their tips.
Until you came back out with a soft smile on your lips, your hair now loosely tied up and your apron slung over your shoulder as you held a wad of cash out to him, far thicker than any of the other servers. He'd been counting the leftover mixers, crossing out your orange juice as a markout as you slipped the money into his hand.
"For your help. Thanks."
"It's my job, no need to thank me." "Doesn't hurt. Have a good night, Minghao." "You too, Y/N." He smiled back as you finished what was left in your can of juice, tossing it as you made your way out of the building. He followed shortly after, walking out a few of the other servers to their cars in the parking lot for good measure. He never really spoke to them either, despite having worked with them for a little over a year â but he was a gentleman if nothing else.
The next few shifts he worked with you were like that, too. You'd smile at him a bit and ask for things with a nicer tone of voice. He still delivered and watched you from afar, slightly amazed at your abilities to satisfy all your patrons â couples, families, even that one elderly woman who always sent her steak back because it was never done well enoughâŠshe hadn't sent it back the night you served her.
You always walked out first, handing Minghao thick stacks of cash and stealing cans of orange juice. It got to the point where he would set yours aside from the counted lot, marking it out in the system before they shut down for the night. The other servers watched your interactions â short and sweet, but still far more than you'd ever attempted to interact with them.
He soon learned that you did like to talk, you just had no one that you deemed worthy of your time. So when you arrived early on some shifts, you'd sit at the bar and ask Minghao things about himself. He'd gladly answer, mixing up non-alcoholic versions of his favorite cocktails for you as he talked in a soft voice. You both noticed the wandering eyes of your coworkers, but neither of you mentioned it to the other.
He noticed that you never answered any questions about yourself, opting to spin the question back on him. He let it slide, but he knew you understood that eventually, you'd have to open up, too. When you did decide to do so was completely up to the universe.
It wasn't until the compliments started that the two of you really started talking â it started as something subtle and quiet. Minghao commented on your earrings or choice of lipgloss, and you said you liked his hair and the way he styled his jewelry. You would both laugh over light coworker gossip or comments about how easily Jeonghan got under Seungcheol's skin.Â
You started greeting him when you'd swing by the bar for any alcoholic beverage, and he'd pause his flirting with his regulars to give you his undivided attention. This is how you learned that he had a way with body language â his eyes were always grazing over someone's face, his shoulders set back in confidence, brushing his fingers lightly over whoever was grabbing their drink.
This included you, but neither of you said anything about it. You'd let his fingers swipe over yours occasionally, choosing to smile and thank him as you went about your shift. The regulars noticed the way his attention was no longer fully on them, and some complained, but some spoke directly to Minghao about it â saying how cute it was for him to be crushing on the new girl.
He wasn't, but he didn't care to clear it up if it meant it got you more tips.
One night, things were as normal â it was a busy Friday evening, and you slid behind the bar to stuff your cash into your lockbox for the third time before closing. His fingers covered the edge of the bar so you wouldn't hit yourself, and you thanked him with a pat to his ribcage before slipping back out onto the restaurant floor with your pen flipping through your fingers like always. He watched you zip around, smiling widely as you took orders, casually flirting with patrons around your age, taking group photos with cell phones and cameras.Â
You stole your can of orange juice, helped Minghao with his dishes and did your closing duties. You got tipped out by Jeonghan and gave Minghao his share, bidding him a good night before waltzing out of the restaurant. You skipped to your car, expecting a smooth drive home and ending your good night on your comfy couch with a Pilsner and a bag of chipsâŠ
When your car simply wouldn't start. No big deal, you'd told yourself. You tried turning your headlights on, but nothing happened. This could mean one of two things: your battery had crapped out and just needed a jump, or tonight was just the night you'd be walking the twenty blocks home. You clicked your tongue before sighing and resting your forehead on the fuzzy steering wheel cover.
Minghao had watched this entire ordeal from the door of the restaurant, finishing a conversation with Seungcheol before stepping out and calling out your name. Your ears perked up, your eyes tired as you looked up and saw him walking over. He smiled as you pouted, opening your car door and explaining the situation.
"Not a problem, I can give you a lift." "I couldn't ask you to do that, Minghao." "You're not. I'm offering."
It went back and forth like that for about ten minutes before Minghao reached out and plucked your keys out of the ignition. You huffed as he jingled them, throwing your apron over your shoulder and manually locking all your doors before slipping out.
âI live a bit out of the way.â âI do, too. Donât worry about it.â
Turns out that a bit out of the way for you, meant two blocks from Minghaoâs apartment.Â
It also turns out that the two of you had much more in common than just working at Seungcheol and Jeonghanâs restaurant.
You both loved art, fashionâŠthe idea of flirting and making people think something was going to happen. You were both studying but at two different universities, and worked at the restaurant to save money for graduate school. He finds out that you're almost too big of a Bloody Mary fan, and nothing stops you from yucking a Piña Colada enjoyer's yum. He doesn't drink, and the revelation makes you snort, until you realize he's serious and roll your eyes subtly.
And all of this is something you find out as you sit in his car outside of your apartment complex, the heat cranked up and his radio playing AM PM by Jay B and Wheein on the lowest volume. He speaks softly, just like he does at the restaurant â and you notice his eyes almost glued to your face as you reciprocate. A few shy laughs are shared until he says something about Mingyu and his habit of stealing cheese curds off the customer trays, making you snort and hit your head on his window. He apologizes profusely but the sentiment is waned by his own rickety giggle, making you flush embarrassedly and shove him lightly.
The night ends when he offers to walk you up to your apartment, but you decline, holding your purse tightly. He still gets out of his car, perches on the hood and watches you duck into the heavy greenery that ornaments the entryway, hearing your work shoes click against the cold cement steps. He waits at least ten minutes before leaning back on his car, taking a deep breath in the chilly November air and pushing off. He slides back into the driver's seat, not noticing the way you look down at him from your second floor apartment. You peeked at him through the wooden blinds of your bedroom, the soft thundering in your chest something you couldn't figure out.
All you knew is that he was Xu Minghao, and if he was meant to break your heart â so be it.

EIGHT MONTHS AGOâŠ
"Need a ride?"
You scoffed to yourself, hearing Minghao's voice across the parking lot. Your shoulders were slumped, your head resting defeatedly against the steering wheel of your 2002 Nissan that once more, refused to start. Why? You have no idea.
"No. It'll start. It has to start." You muttered back, seeing him approach the side of your vehicle. He dons a sympathetic smile as he leans in the window, his fingers grazing the fuzzy leopard print wheel cover. You ignored the manicure you'd been admiring your entire shift, the blotted maroon a perfect tone against his skin â and cranked your ignition.
Chchchch.
"Try again." Chchchch.
He glanced up at you before unlocking your door from the inside and yanking it open. He reached under your dash, popping your hood gingerly and snaking out from under the steering wheel. You only eyed him tiredly as he slid in front of your car, setting your hood up on the prop rod and tinkering around. You couldn't help but let your eyes close slightly, the soreness in your muscles taking over just as he popped back into your window. You jolted out of the light slumber, the crease between your brows deepening in the stark spring moonlight.
"Two things, gorgeous. Either your alternator is fucked and not charging your battery, or your starter engine has crapped out." He shrugged, and you couldn't bring yourself to react further than a groan. Your hands ran through your hair, and Minghao cooed lightly.
"C'mon, I'll give you a lift home. We'll get Cheol to pay for a tow." He wiggled his brows, making you let out a noise of amusement. You sighed, nodding silently as he once more took your keys out of the ignition. You grabbed your items, swinging your apron over your shoulder and locking your doors manually before slinking out and letting Minghao shut your door.Â
You shook your head in disbelief, absently resting your forehead against his bicep with a sigh.
"I'm so tired."
Apparently, tired meant that you were almost about to fall asleep standing up. Neither of you worked tomorrow, so Minghao simply wrapped his arm around your shoulders (an act that neither of you would ever speak on, but made the both of you incredibly giddy) and led you to his car. He opened the door and helped you climb in, even going as far as buckling your seatbelt for you despite your whining protests that you could do it yourself.
"I know you can. Just let me help you, yeah?"
You gave in without a second thought, your eyes fluttering shut as he slid into the driver's side and started his car. You had turned your head towards him and muttered some words quietly.
Something that sounded like thank you, followed by a slightly more intelligible string of words.
"If I fall asleep, I give you full permission to leave me on my doorstep like a package."
He only snorted, knowing he would not ever do that to you. Rolling his eyes, he fiddled with the radio, hearing You and Me by Lifehouse playing on his favorite station. He kept it on as he pulled out of the parking lot, seeing Seungcheol staring in his direction with wide eyes as he walked Jeonghan to their shared car. Minghao only shrugged, waving quickly before turning out into the street and driving down the road.
It was peaceful, watching you sleep. The way your lashes kissed the fat of your cheeks, the way your lips were pouty and he resisted the urge to wipe your chin of a bit of drool that had begun to spill out. He bit down on his lip to hold in his laughter as you stirred, your thumb instinctively coming to your face to wipe at it. You peeled your eyes open, the whites slightly bloodshot and your face contorting in the soreness you felt. "Long day, huh?" He whistled as he flicked on his turn signal, and you only managed to hum in response. You blinked at him, his eyes catching yours as you stared into him. He raised his brows in confusion, and you shrugged your shoulders as much as your fatigue allowed.
"Why are you so nice to me, Hao?"
He only smiled, clicking his tongue as he took the turn down the creepy backroad neither of you liked and often discussed when you had some down time at work. "I thought we were friends, Y/N?"
He saw the way you leaned your head back on his headrest, nose scrunched as you began to settle deep in thought. Were you friends? He thinks so. He thinks setting aside your daily orange juice can means that he's your friend. He thinks giving you lifts home, means that you trust him. That's a crucial part of friendship, isn't it? Trust?
Maybe the subtle flirting he'd been dishing out wasn't so friendly, but he certainly desired to be your friend. He liked your eager conversation, a drastic change in comparison to how stoic you had been upon first meeting him â and how uninterested you were in everyone else you worked with. Aside from Mingyu in the kitchen and Tzuyu the hostess, you had absolutely no interest in talking to anyone but Minghao.
You also didn't allow anyone else but Minghao into your life so closely. Only he knew where you lived, what troubled you, how your mother made you feel about yourself. Only he knew about your bad habits â your affinity for gossip, your extensive situationship issues with your ex-boyfriend, Jaehyun, and how you thought your apartment was entirely too expensive for a college student that was buying her dinner with coins.
"I guess you're right. We should hang out one day, instead of just you giving me pitiful looks when my car craps out on me."
Your tone had been light, but he knew you weren't joking. No matter how often this happened, you insisted what Minghao was dishing out was pity. It wasn't â it was a break. A chance to worry about things later, or tomorrow, because he also understood what it was like to be stressed. He also understood what it was like to have a car let him down time after time, but he had had no one to take that mercy upon him. He'd walked home in pouring rain, risked getting sick, slipped one too many times.
A favor, was what he was offering, if anything.
You just didn't know how to accept help. It was one of your flaws that made itself known without a single word from you.
"I'm free tomorrow. I don't work; I took the day off." "I'm free, too. I'll text you when I wake up. Maybe we can get brunch?"
You would not end up texting Minghao, because you were knocked out â too knocked out to be woken up â by the time that the two of you reached your apartment. He knew your keys were in your purse, but after three attempts at waking you up, he gave up. He drove the two blocks to his complex, snagging the perfect spot in front of his entrance.
He hadn't been too sure of what to do, so he left you in his car with the engine running to duck into his apartment â returning within a few minutes with a pair of blankets for you and him. He opened your door and leaned your seat back slowly, before throwing the blanket over you and moving your belongings to his backseat. He climbed back into the driver's side, scrolling on his phone for a bit before peering over at you. Still sound asleep, as the clock struck midnight.Â
He hummed, closing his eyes for a moment.
A moment turned into three hours, when he heard your phone start ringing in the cupholder. It jolted him awake, his eyes narrowed as he read the blurry name out â Jaehyun.
He declined the call. Once. Twice. Six times, he declined Jaehyun's call. He turned your phone off after that, but you had stirred enough from the sheer sound of him fumbling around. Your eyes were bloodshot as you blinked before realizing you were still in his car.
"Shit, I'm sorry. Have we been here long?" He only smiled, gesturing at the blanket on your body. Your eyes widened as much as they could in their sleep-swollen state, before he flashed his phone screen at you.
3:13am.
"Hao! Why didn't you wake me up!?"
"I certainly tried. I drove around your complex twice before deciding it was futile. We're outside my apartment, if you want to crash here. I'm in no position to drive now."
You had scoffed tiredly (read: with embarrassment), before the urge to stretch took over â the blanket slipping down your legs as you twisted your torso and popped your back. Minghao only giggled tiredly, letting you pout at him.
"I don't have a toothbrush here."
"I have spares for guests. And I have a guest room, so it's not like you'd be taking over my couch or anything. There is always going to be a special space for you, you're my friend."
And you wanted to be his friend so badly.
"Fine. But I'm buying breakfast." "Sure, whatever makes you feel better."
You did not end up buying breakfast. In fact, after you allowed Minghao to help you get situated in his guest room, you didn't even wake up until well in the afternoon. The soft sheets, the absolute dream of a mattressâŠ
The gentle scent of his detergent on the clothes he made you wear to bed while he stayed up an extra two hours â washing and ironing your work uniform. He even took your socks.
Granted, he also did not wake up until late that day. The two of you jerked the doors of the respective rooms open within five minutes of each other, Minghao sluggishly standing in his kitchen with his forehead against the cool steel of his fridge. He held a carton of eggs in his hand, your mouth occupied by the toothbrush he'd given you the night before.
"Eggs?" "I don't even want to cook, I just want to order in." "My treat. Consider it a thank you for letting me crash here." He had looked up then, a quirk in his brow as his lips twitched into a small smirk.
"Don't thank me for being a good friend. That's what you're supposed to do, Y/N."
He didn't allow you to pay for delivery. He didn't even allow you to bicker with him when he shoved you into the bathroom, insisting you shower while waiting for the food to arrive. He was a bit like a parent in that sense â forcing you to take his help and hospitality â and even offering to blow-dry your hair when you exited the bathroom in yet another set of his loungewear, the sweatpants low on your hips as you sat down in front of him and allowed him to do as he pleased.
Something about the domesticity of Minghao brought you comfort. He was gentle and kind, and entirely way too nice for your own good. You had this idea that you had to earn niceties, and Minghao was actively challenging that perspective with the way he wormed himself into your heart. Unlike the parasite, though, you were sure that loving him in whatever matter presented itself would not kill you.
He attempted to drive you home around midnight, the two of you far too excited to let the night end â when your phone began ringing again, this time as he pulled into a gas station. He sighed, "Take care of that. I'll be back."
Your ex-boyfriend told you he was at your apartment and asked why you weren't answering the door. You admitted that you weren't home and insisted that he went home â that you weren't interested in seeing him. He took it pretty hard, trying to convince you that he wanted nothing more than to see you, but Minghao arrived just as you snapped on him and told him that this odd situation was not working in anyone's favor.
Jaehyun insisted that he still loved you â but you said you wouldn't be seeing him again and hung up. You blocked his number before the bombardment of texts could flood in, resting your head against the seat and sighing. You gave Minghao a worried look, earning a soft laugh from him as he reached over and ran his fingers through your hair.
"Everything is going to be okay in due time. We'd be nothing in life if we didn't struggle a bit." He didn't take you home. Instead, he drove around the city, his hand slotted in yours. It was nothing more than an attempt at a comforting gesture on his behalf, but you couldn't help the way your stomach fluttered slightly. You stared out the window as he spoke softly, telling you stories about his life and listening intently to yours. Eventually, the two of you wound up at a park you frequented as a child, one with a wishing well.Â
The two of you got down and headed straight for that well, Minghao holding a few coins he was willing to part ways with in his hand. He gave you half of them, telling you to make your wishes as he thought of his. He watched you intently, your eyes closed and thick lashes fluttering against your cheeks, lips pouty as you murmured to yourself. He was barely able to hear you, leaning a bit closer.
"I wish to be happy."
He closed his eyes after hearing that.
He knew in his heart that he couldn't be solely responsible for your happiness, but he could certainly aid in it. He was your friend, and he was determined to see that wish come true, even if it meant sacrificing his own time and energy to see it happen for you. Be it what may, he was hell-bent about it, within seconds of hearing you say it.
So much so, that when he dropped his 500 won coin, he too wished for you to be happy.
It was the least he could do at that moment.
He actually drove you home after that, and you invited him in. He stayed for all of two hours, just talking to you and keeping you company as you settled things around your apartment. Once more, the topic of rent being way too much came up â and he asked if you wanted a roommate. You had snorted, insisting that you could handle rent on your own.
Minghao went home that night with another plan in mind.

SIX MONTHS AGOâŠ
"Graduation is coming up. I know we've only just started getting close, but I got you a ticket to mine in case you'd like to be there." The casual comment had made you choke on your strawberry lemonade. He offered a napkin, smiling mischievously at you as you scoffed, wiping your lips carefully. He'd invited you out to lunch on yet another day off, but this time, the two of you were nicely dressed up. So much so, that your waitress thought you were a couple on a date. Neither of you made the move to correct her.
"Minghao, you can't just say that so casually." You muttered, but there was a twitch in your lip that gave you away. He caught it almost instantly, reaching into his bag and pulling out your ticket â watching you reach into your purse and pull his ticket out. Both graduations were on the same day, yours in the morning and his in the afternoon â just barely two hours apart. Enough that you'd be able to have a luncheon with your family and still make it to his right on time. "You'll be celebrating with your family afterward, right?" "We're having a small party. A few of my friends will be there, and I'd like you to attend if it's possible. I know you probably have your own things to do."
You didn't, just the lunch. Something about your accomplishments was never enough for your family to celebrate, and they were of the breed that believed graduation was simply a part of life â nothing worth celebrating. Minghao didn't need to know that, though.
"Sure. I'll be there."
And it didn't take long for the day to spin around. You were dressed in your favorite white dress, covered slightly by your forest green graduation gown. Minghao met your family â your mother giving him a quick smile before tugging your father into the stadium. You offered an apology and said that one of your lifelong friends, Junhui, would be arriving soon, and Minghao could sit with him. You stuck around until he did, introducing the two and scurrying away to get set up with your classmates.
Funnily enough, Minghao and Junhui hit it off really well â so much so that when your name was called and you crossed the stage, they cheered so loudly that your parents looked away in embarrassment. You beamed up at your friends, waving excitedly and hopping down to your seat. The ceremony was over quickly, and your parents were nowhere to be found for photos.
It bummed you out, and your friends both noticed. You called their phones relentlessly, to no avail â making Minghao and Junhui take you to lunch on their own. You still enjoyed it, but they could tell that you were not happy. Neither of them made a statement, but Minghao managed to find a last minute ticket for Junhui to attend his graduation with you and invited him to the party as well.
You and Junhui sat in the stands an hour later, holding a huge bouquet you'd ordered a few days in advance â and sat with his parents, who eagerly admitted their glee in Minghao finding friends so easily. You enjoyed the pride his parents had in their son, feeling the same love that Minghao so eagerly poured over you with no remorse. You could tell how loved he had been growing up, how every single part of him was a part of them and then some.
How Minghao was truly someone made of love, by love, for love.
You cheered loudly with his family as he crossed the stage, finding his eyes as he looked up. The maroon of his gown did wonders for his skin, and you hated the way your cheeks warmed as he winked at you. Junhui elbowed you lightly, a knowing look in his eyes that made you scoff and shove him softly.
"We've been friends since we were kids, Y/N. You don't fool me."
However, it didn't stop you from trying. To you, Minghao was just your friend â you had no intent to ever take things further than that. Much like he slowly picked up on your flaws and bad habits, you did his â his subtle flirting with regulars, the way he had no shame in giving free drinks away if he thought someone was cute. It made you overthink everything about his way of acting with you â how easy it was to distinguish that he would never have a romantic feeling towards you if this was how he acted towards patrons.
So you figured your odd little crush was sorely misplaced â and added that you hadn't spoken to Jaehyun since the first time you slept over at Minghao's apartment was cause for the strange feeling of neediness in your stomach. Minghao was worth more than a rebound, and he was far more than you would ever deserve.
You spent the rest of the day enjoying delicious food prepared by his parents and spending hours dancing with Junhui and Minghao in turns. You blushed severely when Minghao's parents asked if you were interested in Minghao, quickly refusing the idea and insisting you were his friend and nothing more. You later saw Minghao blush all the same, his mother looking over his shoulder at you and making him do the same â before you saw his plush lips form around the negative response of No, she's just my friend.
You ignored the sinking feeling and focused on the party â with Mingyu swinging by for an hour before going back out to hang with his girlfriend, Tzuyu, and his best friend, Wonwoo (and they were all coworkers of yours that you allowed yourself to grow closer to after realizing they were no threat.) You took dozens of photos with everyone, had plenty to eat and reluctantly bid goodnight to a tired Junhui that drove back to his girlfriend's apartment after checking that Minghao would take you home.Â
The two of you stayed for a little longer, watching all the guests leave. You walked around his parents' home and helped them clean up silently, hearing his mother praise you quietly to her son. Your refusal to acknowledge it made everything easier, grabbing an apron from the kitchen and tasking yourself with washing dishes alongside Minghao's father. He made soft conversation, and you understood where Minghao got his doting personality. It made you think way too hard about the man you called your friend to everyone's face, including his.
At the end of the night, you cried when Minghao presented you with a graduation gift in the privacy of his car â a pair of earrings and a lease. A lease to a two-bedroom, one-and-a-half bathroom apartment he found all on his own, after more complaints about your rent being too high came about. He admitted that he'd initially started looking for places solely for you, but later came to the idea that maybe you would like some company. He fully admitted that he would have no problem if you denied his request to be your roommate, but seeing as the two of you had also planned on going to graduate schoolâŠhe thought that maybe splitting costs would be easier.
"You can say no. I know it's a bit presumptuous of me to jump the gun like this. I've already signed it, but the leasing office told me it was okay if I wound up taking the place alone. I just thought I'd run it by you."
You had only blinked up at him through teary eyes, your lips pouty as you whined.
"Why are you always so nice to me, Xu Minghao? I would've never thought to do this."
"You're not me, pretty. And you're my friend, I'd go as far as even saying you're one of my best friends. I love you and I care about what stresses you out, and I'd give my left arm to make life easier for you."
Anyone else would've seen this as an admittance of romantic feelings.
Anyone else.
"Minghao, I can't accept this." "Yes, you can. You don't have to be strong all the time. I'm here. I care. Just let me help you, okay?"
You don't know how, but just the soft lilt of his voice made you fold. You signed your name in blue ink that very same night and rode with him back to your apartment. You invited him in, the two of you tired from forced socialization and flopping on your couch. Neither of you said much as you scrolled through Hulu, your television lighting up your living room along with the few candles on your coffee table. "You never tried your earrings on." He muttered next to you, his eyes closed as you settled on Coyote Ugly. Your lips formed an O-shape, and you nodded as you dug them out of your purse. You popped the velvety box open, the diamond studs twinkling back at you. "Allow me." He leaned forward, plucking the box from your fingers and gingerly removing them from the backing. He watched silently as you took your signature gold hoops out, turning to face him with a tired smile on your lips. "Ready?" "Be gentle, I'm sensitive."Â
He scooted slightly closer, nimble fingers softly tilting your jaw toward him. You ignored the way the hair on the back of your neck stood on end as he tucked a stray curl behind your ear, thumbing at your earlobe gently before slipping the earring through.
You heard him mumble to himself but didn't get a chance to ask questions as he carefully slid the backing on and quickly put on the other one for you. He nodded in approval, both hands brushing your face as he pushed your hair back. "You look pretty in diamonds."
You scoffed, rolling your eyes as his hands left your face. You dug a compact mirror out of your purse, using the low light of the room to see. Long lashes fluttered in the reflection as you shifted the mirror around, your manicured fingers lightly tracing the shell of your ear as you took in the subtle sparkle of the gemstones.
"You didn't have to, you know. I didn't get you anything."
You slumped on the couch, resting the side of your head on one of the thick cushions while looking up at him. He propped his arm up on the back of the couch, shrugging his shoulders as he leaned his head on the palm of his hand. "Having you is enough. Did I tell you that I like your dress? I don't think I told you."
Your eyes only widened before you felt your cheeks heat and cleared your throat. You glanced down at your dress, the scattered sequins across the white dress glinting in the low light. An odd feeling settled in your stomach as you ran your hands down the fabric before looking back up at him to see his eyes boring into you.
Like he could see what you were thinking.
"You're beautiful, but I don't have to tell you that. You already know." He said pointedly, and you scoffed. You look away, turning your head to face the ceiling. You follow the slow spin of the fan, before you glance back at him through the corner of your eye. He's still looking at you, but with a soft smile and a raise of his brows as if he's waiting for you to tell him what's on your mind.
"You don't, you're right. Sorry." You muttered, crossing your legs at the knee. You could feel the soreness in your calves from being on your feet all day, the straps from your shoes so tight that they'd imprinted on your skin. Minghao shifted next to you, and you could feel the heat of his gaze raking across your face.
"Y/N?"
You turned to face him, "Hm?"
He smiled, shaking his head. "Nothing."
You scowled, sitting up quickly and tucking your legs under you. "I hate when people do that, Hao. Tell me what you were going to say."
He only chuckled, shrugging his shoulders as he leaned back on your couch, tucking his hands under his head. "I wasn't going to say anything, sweetheart. JustâŠyeah."
"Xu Minghao." "Ooh, full name. Don't hurt me, I might like it." You gaped, smacking his arm lightly. He grabbed your wrist loosely, making you fail at biting back your laughter when his other hand tickled your ribs. "M-Minghao! I don't need to know that!"
"Don't you, though? I know that you like your hair pulled, you told me like three days ago when we were tipsy during movie night. Call it an even exchange of information." He nodded, and you only attempted to swat his hands away from digging into your ribcage as a scream of laughter escaped your throat. He grinned, pinning you against the cushion as you squirmed under him.
"N-Not fair! You're s-stronger than mâAH!" You choked on your own laughter, thrashing as he stopped, squeezing your sides gently with a mischievous smile painted on his face. The glint in his eyes made your stomach swirl slightly as he looked down at you, and it took a few moments for you to realize just how close his face was to yours. You didn't dare look at his lips, forcing your eyes to be glued to his as you swallowed quietly. He shifted back to sit down, allowing you to sit up slightly and clear your throat â when your eyes flickered to his lips.
Soft and slightly glossy from his strawberry lip balm. Lush. So pink and pretty and perfect.
"Y/N?"
"Uh huh?"
Your eyes darted back up to his, noting the soft blush on his cheeks in the low light of the television. He looked away, squeezing his eyes shut â when your body took over your mind, your hand softly tilting his jaw back to look at you. Your thumb ran across his lower lip, pulling it down slightly to watch it spring back, your eyes meeting his once more as you pressed the pad of your thumb onto his lips.
Something about his gaze made you feel insane.
And feeling him kiss your thumb while looking into your eyes made you break.
You leaned forward, holding his jaw gently as you pressed your lips against his chastely. He melted in slightly, his hand ghosting over your hip for balance when realization sank into your skin and you pulled away.
"Shit. I'mâŠMinghao, I'm soâ" He didn't let you finish, rolling his eyes as he pulled you towards him by your wrist, kissing you with purpose. You only let out a noise of surprise as he practically manhandled you onto his lap, his hands moving to cradle your cheeks. Your eyes fluttered shut as he kissed you, his lips soft against yours and making you feel like your very being was about to combust into flames. You couldn't help but tighten your legs around his, feeling him smile against your lips with a soft laugh.
Your hands fisted his shirt as he pulled away from your lips, his hand moving to the nape of your neck and tilting your head back while the other splayed across your thigh. His lips trailed down your jaw, a soft mewl escaping your throat as he nipped at your earlobe.
"Sound so pretty for me, sweetheart."
The light scrape of his teeth against your neck doesn't allow for many words to slip from your lips, only a choked whimper as you carded your fingers through his hair, pulling slightly as he littered gentle nips across the expanse of your neck and chest. His hand in your hand moved to your back, resting just above the zipper of your dress when he looked up at you through his lashes.
"Can Iâ" "Yes." His fingers carefully pulled the zipper down, the tight flutter sleeves of your dress loosening around your shoulders and falling slightly. Your hand tugged at the knot of his tie as he reconnected your lips, his hands sliding around your waist as you pulled it off and tossed it to the side. Your fingers fumble with the buttons of his shirt as his tongue slips into your mouth, his hands moving down slightly and palming your thighs before moving back from your face.
âWe should stop, shouldnât we?â He mumbled against your lips, making you shake your head as your hands fisted his shirt, your thumbs tracing the pearly buttons. Your fingers pulled at the rest of the buttons, tugging the hem of the shirt out from under his slacks as he grabbed your wrists gently.
âWant you to touch me, Hao. Please?â Your voice had a hint of something a little desperate, that same hint shown as a glint in Minghao's eyes as he breathed heavily against your lips. You kissed him chastely, feeling him groan beneath you and let go of your wrists to run his hands up your thighs, his fingertips barely breaching the hem of your dress.
âWanna feel you. Wanna taste youâŠfill you upâŠcan I, pretty girl? Will you let me?â
You werenât sure how you found your voice, but you squeaked out an excited yes anyway. The rest is a blur â him pulling your dress over your head and tossing it to the side, running his hands up and down your body as he meshed your lips with his with a hunger that you couldn't describe. His fingers were cool against your back as he undid the clasp of your bra, his teeth nipping at your lower lip as you whined against him.
"Are you sure you want to do this? We can stop right now." He mumbled, holding your bra together as he looked up at you. Uncertainty flashed in your eyes, and he gave you a soft smile. "Y/N, it's okay. Are you okay?"
He clasps your bra back, his hands moving to tug his shirt off his shoulders and drape it over you. You're silent as you shove your arms through it, and Minghao quietly buttons it for you, before tucking your hair behind your ear gently. "Hey. Talk to me, I'm here." He murmured, and you just tongued your cheek, running a hand through your hair.
"I'm sorry. I thought I'd be readyâ"
"Don't. Do not apologize for not being ready, or changing your mind, or anything like that. Not now, not ever, and especially not to me. Okay?"
Your face burned in embarrassment, but it quickly slipped away as Minghao enveloped you in a warm embrace, your own arms wrapping around his neck as he held you close. "You deserve to be more than some rebound, Hao. I'm sorry." "Don't be sorry when there is nothing to be sorry for. We can forget all about this, you know? Just a little kiss. I'm sure lots of friends have kissed and moved on." You werenât sure you could move on, not when Minghao held you until early morning, his breathing soft against your neck. Not when the two of you inevitably moved into your bedroom and slid under your bed sheets together, Minghao's arms wrapped around your shoulders and suffocating you with his soft cologne that you can't get enough of.Â
You spent hours awake while he ran his fingers through your hair, just thinking about the way his lips felt against yours. You found yourself glancing up at him often, his face illuminated by the soft moonlight peeking through your blinds â only to see him staring at the ceiling, his thumb rubbing soothing circles into your shoulder and you can feel the way his mind just empties as he glances down at you with the softest smile known to man.
"Sleepy?"
Your nod was false, but you didn't care â not when he sighed softly and pulled you into his chest with a mumbled good night.
"Goodnight, Hao."
As for moving on, Minghao wasn't sure he could, either. Not when he woke up in your bed the next morning, surrounded by your scent and your limbs and your skin stuck to his in a way that made him ache confusedly. Not when he was wearing a pair of flannel pajamas he never got back after that first time you stayed over at his apartment. Not when you were already awake, your eyes glued to the soft scar on his eyebrow before you noticed he was awake.
"Hey." "Hey, sweetheart."
Not when he watched you cook something light for lunch for the both of you, in his shirt that you have not returned since that night at his place. Not when you smiled at him with a glint of embarrassment in your eyes, but just barely hidden by comfort, trust, love.
Not when he felt his heart start racing in his chest as he said he'd see you later before he left, swinging his keys in his hand as you leaned up and pressed a soft kiss to his cheek.
"See you, Hao."
Yeah. Minghao doesn't think he can move on.

FOUR MONTHS AGOâŠ
You and Minghao moved in as the summer grew hotter, the July air sticky as you bickered over whose couch was going to be shoved into the living room. Minghao lost the game of rock-paper-scissors, and his lip curled into a frown as Mingyu came with Tzuyu to haul his couch back to their apartment.
"And you haven't fucked on this, right?" Mingyu asked as he and Minghao took the cushions and tied them together, you and Tzuyu snorting over the jar of lemonade you were preparing.Â
You and Tzuyu had become quick friends after you graduated. She helped Mingyu and Wonwoo plan the grand idea of throwing both you and Minghao a small celebration at Seungcheol and Jeonghan's house, inviting the entire staff and other straggling friends. The couple hadn't been too happy about how trashed everyone got and how you accidentally broke one of their lamps, but they congratulated you and Minghao on your graduations and gifted you both an expensive bottle of wine. Wine that you both shared when you got the keys to your shared apartment, tucked away in a cooler full of ice while you both tackled the deep cleaning of the new space. He took the front, and you took the bedrooms and bathrooms. You both emerged sweaty and sticky, grimacing at each other as you settled into Minghao's car on the way to buy paint for the bedrooms and wallpaper.
Neither of you have spoken about that night on your couch. Not that you had to â nothing more came of it. The two of you continued to work together in harmony, you hung out regularly, you flirted with customers â and you ignored the churn of subtle jealousy in your stomach when a customer got any sort of extra attention from him.
You ignored the skip in your heartbeat when his fingers grazed yours in handing you a drink, you ignored the way your stomach flipped during the many times he offered to tie your hair up when it got in the way. You especially ignored the whispers of your coworkers, ones that had only heightened since the party at your Seungcheol and Jeonghan's house â where Minghao was constantly checking in on you, bringing you drinks and adjusting your dress or hair.
So much so that when the party was over and it was just Seungcheol, Jeonghan, you and Minghao â Jeonghan asked. He asked if the two of you were a thing, and Minghao promptly peered over his highball at you. You just shrugged, the words stuck in your throat as Seungcheol shared a glance with Jeonghan.
They then did the diabolical, classic meddling-manager thing: they scheduled ALL of your shifts together.
It then seemed like the entire universe was forcing the proximity â because your car finally kicked the bucket. It would not turn on, not even after you begged Chan at the mechanic shop to give it a good knock on the hood. Because of this, you were now rendered carless â not that it mattered, because your new roommate had a car. Your new roommate, that was also your friend, coworker, and suspected partner by the married couple that owned the restaurant the two of you worked at. Minghao drove the two of you to work every day, his car once parked in front of your old apartment now sitting pretty in front of your shared one. It was domestic, how he slid in front of your apartment and still got out and knocked on your door to let you know he'd arrived â instead of just the regular I'm here text or, your least favorite, the honk. He opened your door, he let you choose the music, he rolled the windows down because you loved the free feeling of the breeze in your hair before you were ultimately forced to go into work-mode in order to withstand the berating of customers and the soreness in your feet.
Upon moving into the apartment, the two of you furnished it by splitting your belongings. Your walnut bookcases, his mahogany dining table. His Persian rugs, his television, his plants, his plates and cups. Your wall decorations, your handmade vases, your choice of wallpaper in the bathroom, your silverware.
His pots. Your pans. His blankets on the couch. Your couch.
"No, Mingyu. I have not had sex on this couch." Minghao scoffed, before peering over his shoulder at you and Tzuyu with a look on his face that reads: Can you believe this guy? You only shrug, biting back a smile as you slip ice cubes into the pitcher, facing Tzuyu. She's already looking at you, and she waits until you tilt your head in curiosity before she whispers.
"How long have you two been a thing?"
You almost choked on your spit. Her eyes were wide as she patted your back, giving a thumbs up to the worried men looking over their shoulders, pausing their unscrewing of the legs off the couch.
"What? Minghao and I are not a thing, Tzu." "Could've fooled me. I've known Minghao for years, and he's never even introduced us to a girlfriend of his. He's so private that way." She murmured, adding a few sprigs of mint into the glass pitcher.Â
You glanced over at Minghao, who was listening to Mingyu talk about how Wonwoo got into a scuffle with Seungcheol over the missed truck order at work â when he shivered, his gaze flicking up to you. He gave you a quizzical look, before turning back to Mingyu and acting as if he was paying attention.
"I don't think Hao and I will ever be anything more than good friends. And, well, roommates now. This is genuinely one of the more refreshing friendships I've ever been in. There's zero expectations to be perfect or act like I care about the smalltalk that usually precedes friendships." You shrugged, taking a wooden spoon and stirring the lemonade. You weren't lying, per say. You definitely did not think things would advance between you and Minghao â he was far tooâŠwell he wasâŠyou know. Ugh!
Minghao was literally fucking perfect. That was the issue. He was perfect, from the careful styling of his hair to the way you'd walk into his bedroom to see him slathering lotion on his arms after a warm shower. And he wasn't just perfect physically, he would not have that mercy upon you â he was perfect on the INSIDE, too.
You'd only been living together for a few weeks at this point â but he'd kept the space clean, far cleaner than you had gotten yourself used to. Your bedroom was already a mess, clothes strewn everywhere, and you'd tripped over an unpacked box several times before kicking it to the side. But Minghao's? Pristine. Everything in its designated spot, his vanity clear of debris and a special spot for his skincare items. He kept a pitcher of water on his nightstand at most, the cup always half filled. His bed was always made neatly, his clothes tucked into his dresser and closet with the utmost care. At most, he'd have his closet door open or have a random jacket thrown over his desk chair â but he was your stark opposite.
"I don't know about that one, Y/N. I think this could be something good, but what do I know?" Tzuyu shrugged, grabbing the tray of glasses and tilting her head for you to grab the pitcher. You wanted to ask her what she meant, what she knew, but you didn't get a chance as Mingyu and Minghao carried the corpse of his stripped couch outside. You held the doorway open more, giving Minghao a quick nod as he wormed past you.
You tried not to look at the flexing of his shoulders beneath the black tank top he donned, squeezing your eyes shut and looking away when you heard Tzuyu snort. You peeled an eye open to see her smirking at you, shaking her head as she set the glasses down on your coffee table. You scowled, setting the pitcher down on the doily and laying on the floor next to the table, grabbing the remote for the television.
The coffee table was the only thing you and Minghao couldn't agree on, and decided to buy it at a thrift store. The one hint of togetherness thus far â as if the mixed aesthetics and belongings weren't enough. It made you laugh a bit, because you knew if and when you moved out, what would be taken with you.
It's like the coffee table is the dog that a couple gets before they split up. Who gets it?
"Y/N, can I see you in the kitchen?" Minghao's voice snapped you out of your thoughts, and you gave Tzuyu a pained look as you slipped the remote in her hand. Minghao had slipped into the kitchen already as you stood, quickly trekking the living room and sliding in on your socks. He grabbed his keys off the counter, having left them there earlier when he arrived with groceries, before Tzuyu and Mingyu came over for his couch.
"I'm going to help Mingyu get the couch set up at his place, we should be back before dinner. Do you want to order something in and we can pick it up on the way back? My treat." Minghao spoke with his back turned to you as he rummaged through the fruit bowl, before you heard the unmistakable crunch of an apple being bitten into. He looked over his shoulder, and you saw him holding said apple between his teeth, a jump of his brows prompting you to speak.
"You'll be a while though, won't you?"
"I'd never make you wait, Y/N. So? Think about what you want, and text me." He shrugged, ruffling your hair as you swatted his hand away, grabbing his wrist.
"Aren't they staying for dinner? Shouldn't this be a group decision?"
He only used your leverage on his wrist to pull you closer, leaning against the counter and wrapping his arm around your waist. Your eyes widened at the sudden proximity, and you felt your cheeks heat as he peered down at you through his lashes. He smiled at you, eyes searching your face before he clicked his tongue.
"Just tell me what you want, honey. I'll get it done."
He pressed a kiss to your hairline, smoothing your hair down before slipping out of the kitchen. You heard his gentle goodbye to Tzuyu, who hummed in response before the click of the door made his departure evident. Peeking out of the kitchen, you saw Tzuyu smirking to herself, shaking her head as she took a sip of her lemonade.
"C'mon, Y/N. You know you wanna tell me."
Her voice was sing-song, and you groaned inwardly as you walked out of the kitchen and flopped over the back of the couch. You flipped onto the cushions, landing on your back with a grunt from your lips as you draped your arm over your eyes.
"Tzu, nothing is happening between him and I. He is genuinely just my friend. Roommate. Coworker."
She didn't buy it. You could tell by the quirk in her brows and the pointed look in her eyes. She tapped the coffee table with the edge of her glass, swirling the ice before speaking.
"And soon he'll be your boyfriend, fiancé, husband. I have a hunch about these things, Y/N. I know love when I see it."
You only rolled your eyes, snatching the remote back off the coffee table. "Yeah, sure. What do you want to watch? And what do you want for dinner? Hao said they'd bring something back." Tzuyu didnât push it as the two of you ended up settling on a random episode of Gilmore Girls. You mumbled at each other as you began to pass your phone between the two of you, looking at local restaurants when you heard a ding â a ding specifically applied to Minghao's contact.
"Nothing happening, huh?" Tzuyu wiggled your phone between her fingers, a notification from Minghao up top.
Msg From: Xu Minghao [5:43PM] sweetheart, did you figure out what you want for dinner? [5:43PM] we're almost done over here
You scowled, snatching your phone back as she giggled. "Sweetheart? I don't call my friends that." She teased, and you sighed. "Tzu, can we please drop it?" Your voice is unrecognizable to yourself, ridden with an oddly placed insecurity and Tzuyu's eyes widen slightly before she clears her throat. She nods, tapping the edge of her glass against the table again and looking down at your phone.
Msg From: Xu Minghao [5:45PM] quickly, please. [5:45PM] y/n i can see you reading these!
"I'll drop it for now, but please think about my words. I know it may be hard to believe, but I do think there is more to this than meets the eye. AndâŠI support you, on whatever route you end up taking, in whatever way you end or begin this relationship." You couldn't lie to yourself, her words stuck with you for the rest of the evening. They rang in your head when the pair of men arrived with stacked plates of takeout, and they rang in your head as Minghao served your plate and forbade you from getting up for anything. They rang in your head as you and Mingyu washed the dishes, noting how Mingyu only referred to you by your name in your hushed conversation about you inviting them to stay for a movie.
Not like Minghao, who had even greeted you with a pet name.
They rang in your head as Tzuyu and Mingyu cuddled in the corner seat of your couch during the movie, your chest slightly pained as you noticed the cushion-sized distance between your thigh and Minghao's. They rang in your head every time you noticed Mingyu's lips on his girlfriend's hairline, on her cheek, on her lipsâŠ
They rang in your head as you thought back to the night of your graduation, how Minghao's lips kissed you just as gently, but in a way that made you think about it every waking moment of every day. In a way that made you glance at him from across the restaurant when Jeonghan was trying to get your attention to finish your tip-out; in a way that made you remain silent during the rides to and from work by his side.
In a way that made you touch yourself at night, thinking about him, about his hands on your body. So warm, so confident, so caring.
So loving.
"Good night, you two. Drive safe." You stood with your hands in your pockets, your shorts allowing the cool evening breeze to graze your legs. Tzuyu gave you a warm hug as Mingyu opened the door of his old pickup, her lips barely touching the shell of your ear as she whispered.
"Think about it." They drove off within the next five minutes, with you and Minghao standing next to each other in front of your apartment door, waving them off. You glanced up at him, a faint heat coating your cheeks as his hand ghosted over the small of your back, hearing the jingle of his keys being hooked onto your belt loop. You jolted at the weight, swatting him away as he snickered.
"Want to take a walk? The weather feels great."
You hated the way you agreed so quickly, tugging slightly at the neck of your t-shirt, too tight around your throat as your arms brushed. He stood on the side closest to the street, his hands tucked into the pockets of his sweatpants as he hummed.
"I got a letter back from the graduate program I applied to. I was waitlisted, so I think I'm going to withdraw and reapply next year. Gives me a chance to save some money, take out less loans." He grimaced, looking up at the darkened sky. You frowned, crossing your arms across your chest.
"I didn't get into mine, if it makes you feel better. I think I'm going to be taking a gap year, so much for being a therapist and letting my parents down yet again. Did I tell you that they told me I wouldn't even be a real doctor? Unbelievable." You sneered, and he shook his head.
"No, that doesn't make me feel better. You deserved to get in. I read your application essay, remember? You're brilliant. I could never imagine being on a board of admissions and not allowing someone with such a passion into my program." He scoffed, and you only snorted.Â
"Passion, huh? Shit load of good it does me." You shook your head, kicking a bit of gravel as you made it to the corner of your block. You sucked your teeth as Minghao's arm wrapped around your shoulders, pulling you into his side slightly. "You'll have to admit that you're a good person with goals and dreams like everyone else at some point, you know? You've got a big heart, and you want to help the world. It takes a passionate person, a dedicated person, to work in therapy. Do you know how hard it is to sit and listen to people's problems all day and not bring them home with you?" "Bartenders are the therapists of the food and beverage industry, aren't they?" You teased, snickering as he lightly smacked his fingers against your shoulder. "Sorry, sorry." "But you're right, in a way. I do commend you, though, an incredible amount. And your parentsâŠthey don't realize what kind of person their daughter is. You're bright. You're kind. You're beautiful in ways I can't even begin to describe, and that doesn't even begin to cover your looks. So let's justâŠnot think about their opinions. You're independent and strong, and I'm always rooting for you." His voice was soothing as he traced circles into your skin, the moonlight illuminating your path as you walked in lockstep with him. You sighed, "So what happens now? We just work our butts off at the restaurant and save our pennies?" "What better to do? We can even set up a little fund to take the odd weekend trip, if you'd like. Roommates do that, right?" He sounded quizzical, and you glanced up to see him already looking at you. Those eyesâŠ
"Well, friends do that, don't they? We're friends before we're roommates." You tried, and he let out a scuff of a laugh, nodding. "Yeah, sweetheart. Friends."
You didn't understand why it pained you to hear him confirm what you already knew, but the stupid pet name sprinkled in definitely made the pang in your chest deeper than you'd expected. His hand was on your shoulder, ringed fingers now dangling over the edge and your eyes glued to the ground. You kicked gravel and dirt as the two of you walked, your tennis shoes scuffed from weeks of moving and roughhousing with furniture.
You were almost in front of your apartment when Minghao made a noise of eureka, his fingers squeezing your shoulder lightly as he spoke.
"Oh, I forgot to mention this earlier, but Jeonghan is asking me to take a few doubles these coming weeks because Seungkwan is going on vacation. They know that we carpool, so I should be able to swing by and bring you to work anyway, but I figured I'd let you know I'll be out of the house for most of the morning."Â
You groaned, running your hand through your hair as you nodded.
"Yeah, Cheol talked to me about taking a bunch of morning shifts because Hansol is also going on vacation. I'm not bothered butâŠ" You gave Minghao a wiggle of your brows, making him snort.
"You think they're going together? Romantic getawayâŠ" He swayed you gently, and you snickered to yourself.
"Kiss, kiss, fall in loveâŠsharing appetizersâŠ" You chided as the two of you reached your door. Minghao unhooked his keys from your belt loop, unlocking the door as he shook his head.
"They do that eye-flirting thing, you know? Lots of shared looks, soft whispers and stuff. It's cute, they're a cute pair." He nodded, pushing the door open and allowing you in before he stepped in behind you. You hummed in response, beelining for the empty bags of movie snacks on the coffee table, crumpling them in your hands as you moved around. Minghao joined you, folding the blankets that had been thrown over Mingyu and Tzuyu's laps as well as your shoulders.
Neither of you spoke as you cleaned up the living room, the ending credits of the movie still playing as you stretched your arms over your head, holding the trash in your fists as you walked to the kitchen. You could hear Minghao continue to rustle around, the television turning off and the soft creak of the floorboards grabbing your attention as he skirted into the kitchen. "I'm going to be up early tomorrow, so I'm going to shower first. Is that okay with you?" He moved you away from the trash can, letting you lean on the counter as he took the lid off and grabbed the drawstrings of the bag. You nodded before realizing he couldn't see you and cleared your throat.
"Yeah, sure. That's fine; I have to fix up my bed and stuff in my bedroom. Take your time." You shrugged, watching the muscles in his arms flex as he pulled the trash bag out, tying the plastic drawstrings into a knot before fishing another one out of the box on top of the fridge.
"Are you settling in well? I haven't checked in about it. I know it's quite the drastic change to go from living alone to someone in your space all the time." He sounded sympathetic, but you only shrugged again.
"It's like freshman year of college again. Except this time, I actually like my roommate because you're not kicking me out at odd hours of the night to bang your boyfriend." You rolled your eyes, crossing your arms. He nodded, biting back a smile when you elbowed him lightly, making him snort.
"I'd never do that. No need to worry about it, pretty." He placed the lid back on the trash can, lifting up the bag and skirting around you. "I'll be back in a second."
Said second turned into ten minutes. Ten full minutes where you rubbed your face in an attempt to bring back a touch of reality, something that would take the attention your mind loved to devote to pet names and affections from your roommate, your friend, your coworker, away.
They say your living space is a reflection of your state of mind. As you wormed your way through stacks of unpacked boxes, clothes strewn on the floor, old textbooks gathering dust in the corners of your room â you kind of agreed.. You grimaced, opting to kick everything out of the way and grabbing a box cutter off your desk and slicing through one of the boxes stacked by your closet. You reached to your desk, flicking the lamp on to see the contents of the heavily packed box.
It opened to photo albums and framed pictures, and you closed your eyes as your hands touched the familiar red leather of your family album. Photos gathered in the tens of you and your parents â at your favorite park in your hometown, at dozens of restaurants where you celebrated birthdays, your parents' anniversaryâŠ
A celebration of a perfect report card, time and time again before the 180 spin came, and your parents realized you were leaving your hometown for something bigger. A huge, fancy school in the middle of a metropolitan city, studying Psychology when your mother had pushed for Law or Accounting. Acting like you'd betrayed her trust â and as Mother says, Father does. He too, pushed you aside and acted like you'd scorned him.Â
Neither of your parents were lawyers or accountants. They were both high school mathematics teachers, your father in statistics and your mother in economics. Neither of them had a passion for law or accounting â and they both knew of your interest in the medical field, in psychology and the brain.
You found it odd that the success that follows the title of 'Doctor' was not enough for them. That, paired with the rejection letter from your Masters' program, you felt like there wasn't any lower you could get. "Penny for your thoughts?" Minghao's voice was soft, but it still made you jolt and drop the album. You held a hand to your chest, before shaking your head.
"Nah. I'm good. Sorry, uh, about the mess." You gestured to the room, and he only shook his head, his fingers brushing his hair out of his eyes as he looked around a bit. He leaned on your doorway, the hallway light only making your eyes trial his gentle frame.
"Your space, sweetheart. You do what you want with it. I'm going to shower now. Anything you need before I start turning in?"
You shook your head, tapping the leatherbound photo album before smiling pitifully.
"I'm good. Good night, Hao." You expected him to slink away, focusing your thoughts back on the album. You flipped through it, thumbing at photos of you in frilly dresses and Halloween costumes your mother would stitch by hand.
"You can talk to me. You know that, right?" Minghao's voice was right next to your ear, his breath tickling the back of your neck. His hand was wrapped around the edge of your desk to keep himself steady, and your face was a bit too close to his as you turned to face him. He was illuminated slightly by the yellow light of your desk lamp, his eyes scanning your features.
"I know. I justâŠI know." You pursed your lips, casting your eyes back to the album in your hands. "I'll let you know if I ever need toâŠI don't know. Let off steam, I guess." Your laugh was soft and pathetic, and he hummed, before you felt his hand tuck a stray curl behind your ear. You glanced up at him, only to see him looking at you fondly. "Let off steam, huh?" "Shut up." "As you wish. Good night." He grinned, pushing off your desk and making his way out of your bedroom.Â
You spent the next few hours listening to Minghao tinker around in the bathroom before the sounds move to his bedroom, your focus on unpacking the albums onto the bookcase tucked into the corner of your room. You picked clothing up off the floor, tossing the articles into the hamper and you forced yourself to organize your every thought when you heard it. You heard the soft sigh through the wall, and the groan from his throat as his back hit the mattress.
You screwed your eyes shut and grabbed your headphones from the nightstand, plugging them into your phone as quickly as you could before you could hear anything else. You took a deep breath, out through your mouth as the beginning notes of Runnin' by The Pharcyde filled your ears.
So much for good night.

TWO MONTHS AGOâŠ
"I'm so fucking tired, I could keel over right now." Your forehead rested on the back of your hand, which held the ratty broom you used to beat Seungcheol out of a chair only moments earlier. Said man was now sulking behind the bar with Minghao, being comforted by the bartender with a fruity cocktail.
"Don't sulk, she's just doing her job." Minghao patted him on the back as the older man frowned, wrapping his pouty lips around the swirly straw stuck in the mango daiquiri. You glanced over your shoulder at Jeonghan, who was only shaking his head as he clicked away on the calculator with your tips surrounding him in neat piles.
"Honey, unless you want to sweep for Y/Nâ" Jeonghan started, flipping a pen through his fingers as Seungcheol shook his head, taking his drink off the bar and making his way across the restaurant. "Nope! I'll be in the office."
You snickered to yourself as you saw Jeonghan watch him walk away, eyes low and full of nothing but love. He rolled his eyes, drawing his attention back to the money on the table as Tzuyu slid into a barstool with her cheek in her hand. Minghao leaned over, waving his fingers in her face.
"Why so glum, Tzu?"
He stopped wiping the counter down to listen to her as you skirted your way over to Jeonghan, pulling the chair beside him out and slumping down into it. Jeonghan doesn't look up from the calculator, his fingers gingerly thumbing through the dollar bills when you make a noise of curiosity.
"Yes, Y/N? How can I help you?"
"How long have you and Mr. Choi been together?" You asked gently, watching Jeonghan bite back a smirk. He shakes his head, tilting it to the side before meeting your eyes.
"You don't have to call him Mr. Choi, Y/N. You can just call him Cheol."
"Fine. How long have you been with Cheol, Mr. Yoon?" You smiled cheekily, earning a scoff as Jeonghan flicked your forehead softly. "Jeonghan, answer the question!"
"We dated for three years before we got engaged. Then we were engaged for two years before we got married, and we got married two years ago. Seven years together and counting, unless you also involve how long he made me court him." Jeonghan's blush doesn't go unnoticed as he runs a hand through his hair, and you cooed.
"How did you guys meet?" Jeonghan snorts, tonguing his cheek before sighing and thumbing through another stack of bills.
"Any particular reason as to why you've got so many queries tonight, Y/N? You've been working here for almost a year and you've never cared before." His brow is quirked as you hear the heavy office door open across the restaurant, a flushed Seungcheol ducking into the kitchen with his empty cup. Jeonghan sends him a wink, making the older man shake his head in disbelief.
"I just think you guys are cute. You don't see many couples around here, the dating pool has gotten so icky." You scoffed, twirling the broom handle in your hand as Jeonghan hums in agreement.
"I've known Seungcheol since we were kids. We drifted after middle school because I wound up moving across the city, and we lost contact. We met up again here, in this restaurant, right before we were set to graduate college. Funny, really." Jeonghan smiled inwardly, watching as you leaned in slightly.
"You guys worked here together?"
"Yup. He was a bartender, I was a waiter." Jeonghan gave you a pointed look, before his eyes flickered to Minghao. The man was talking to frowning Tzuyu, his brows furrowed as he whispered what you assume to be his opinion on her dilemmas. "Cheol was actually really shy, believe it or not. He's not the big Rottweiler type, despite his physique. More likeâŠa feisty barn cat." "SoâŠyou chased him? For how long?" You watched as Mingyu and Seungcheol walked out of the kitchen with their arms crossed, seemingly discussing something serious. Seungcheol's jaw was tight, and Mingyu's shoulders were full of stress as he draped his apron over one of them. Seungcheol glanced over at Jeonghan, a sympathetic look in his eye as he tilted his head in the direction of the office.
"For all three years that we worked here. And I continue to do it, he likes it." Jeonghan nodded, gathering your tips for you and snapping them together in a blue rubber band. He held them out to you, gathering his belongings in his other hand as you took it. "Of course, not every couple that gets together here, stays together. These walls have seen many of my fights with Cheol, and vice versa. There's no limit. Exhibit A." Jeonghan gestured to Tzuyu, who was angrily typing on her phone while Mingyu held back tears as he muttered back and forth with Seungcheol. Sighing, Jeonghan ruffled your hair before skirting away and meeting Seungcheol and Mingyu in the office. You stood, leaning your weight on the broom before feeling eyes on you.
Minghao was staring right at you, before his eyes flickered to Tzuyu. You grimaced, stuffing your tips in your back pocket before sliding up to the bar.
"SoâŠwhat's got you so upset?"
"Mingyu." As it turns out, maybe the restaurant owner knew far more than he let on. Mingyu and Tzuyu had gotten into an argument while she helped him with dishes â about work. The two of them were stressed, knowing that they usually made rent with their hefty amount of hours at the restaurant â however, it left little time in the week for each other. Mingyu being the best cook of the three that worked at the restaurant made things even harder, seeing as he was constantly being called in if Seungcheol or Jeonghan weren't able to fill in.
It left Tzuyu feeling pushed aside, but Mingyu could argue the same. The last three hostesses that had been hired had to be let go due to their attendance inconsistencies, leaving Tzuyu to rush to work at the last minute. It created a small rift in their relationship, and Tzuyu finally gave the ultimatum: work or her. Mingyu hadn't replied.
No choice is a choice, a silent one.Â
And usually, the wrong one.
"I'm sorry." You murmured, smoothing her long hair with your hand as she slumped against the bar.
"Why? If anything, I feel like we should be able to work through this. We should be able to find time for each other even with our busy schedules. You and Minghao can do it, why can't we?" She groaned, resting her forehead against the cold bar. You sighed, running your fingers through her hair when the office door opened again â Mingyu was sitting at the desk and frustratedly wiping his face as Jeonghan called for Tzuyu softly.
"Go. We'll wait here." Minghao assured her, crossing his arms on the bar as you nodded in agreement. She took a deep breath, trekking the restaurant quickly and ducking into the office as Jeonghan shut the door.
"What does she mean, you and I can do it?" You questioned, reaching into your back pocket and separating the bundle of bills that would go into Minghao's wallet. He shrugged and smiled softly, wiggling his fingers as you held the wad of cash out to him.
"It means we work well together. Don't you think we make a good pair?" Minghao raised his eyebrows at you, making you roll your eyes as you continued to sweep aimlessly around the bar.Â
"I guess so. Hey, your birthday is coming up soon, right?" You crouched to get the swept trash onto the handheld dustpan, watching as Minghao shrugged again and turned to the cooler. He opened it, taking out your can of orange juice before speaking again.
"Hardly. It's barely September, my birthday isn't for another two months." He shook his head, and you scoffed as you made your way to the trash can. You dump the contents of the dustpan before glancing up at him with a suspicious look in your eye.
"Don't tell me you're one of those people that works on their birthdays, are you?" The way he tongues his cheek is enough of an answer for you, making you shake your head as you replace the broom and dustpan behind the bar. You skirt around him to the sink, washing your hands as you click your tongue. "That's not happening this year. We have to celebrate." "Like hell it's not. I make the most tips on my birthday, Y/N." He grabbed his jacket from the hook behind him, shrugging it over his shoulders as you dried your hands. "Plus, Jeonghan knows I won't take no for an answer when it comes to working on my birthday. I'll be here from five to closing."
You rolled your eyes again, before feeling his arm snake around your waist. It'd been almost a year of this â soft, casual touching, hushed praises, kisses to the foreheadâŠ
It was all so intimate. Nothing he did felt like friendship anymore, but you weren't complaining.
"Why do you care so much, anyway? You want to celebrate with me?" "Obviously, jackass. You're my best friend." You swatted him away, only to be pulled closer into his chest. You groaned, your hands splayed across his chest as he smiled down at you.
"What an upgrade, should I be honored?" You scoffed, pushing him a bit but he didn't budge. For a second, you think he glances at your lips.
"Tell you what, pretty. I'll work my shift, and we can celebrate after. Just you and me." His hand squeezed your side gently, his eyes expectant of something â but you know you could say nothing and he'd still understand. He once told you that he thinks humans misunderstand almost everythingâŠ
And sometimes it is better to observe, and listen â than speak.
"Get away from me before I twist your nipple off." You spoke through gritted teeth, only making him get slightly closer to your face. His lips nearly brushed your nose, and you narrowed your eyes as you pushed his jacket out of the way. He jerked away, crossing his arms over his chest and feigning a shocked look as you grinned.
"I cannot believe you'd hurt me! Wow, some best friend you are!"
"Are you always this dramatic?" You teased, sticking your tongue out at him as you skirted back out from behind the bar. He turned his nose up at you, waving you off with his hand. Your eyes darted to the maroon gel manicure you'd given him earlier that day, and you bite back your grin before taking your can of orange juice off the bar.
"Let's go, yeah? I'm tired." You pouted, shaking the can gently before tilting your head towards the front door. He huffed, tightening his jacket around his body as he sauntered out from behind the bar â nearly tripping when the sound of the office door being slammed against the brick of the walls startled you.
Tzuyu stormed out, her red coat held in her hand as she ducked her head down. Presumably to hide a face full of tears, covered by the swing of her caramel hair.
You looked back at Minghao, his eyes worried as he watched her slip out the front door. Mingyu appeared as the door nearly shut, with Jeonghan and Seungcheol holding guilt in their eyes. "I'm sorry, Mingyu. If we had knownâ" "You couldn't have. It's fine. I'll figure it out." Mingyu looked defeated, and you elbowed Minghao lightly as he sidled up next to you. "Drive Tzuyu home." You muttered, tucking your orange juice in your shirt pocket as Minghao swung his keys.
"Divide and conquer, huh? I'll see you at home, pretty." Minghao ruffled your hair, before quickly pressing a light kiss to your hairline. "Be safe, okay?"
He was gone before you could say anything.
You sighed to yourself, seeing the three men in the office watching Minghao slink out without you. Jeonghan looked around Mingyu's frame, his brow raised as you winked, cracking open your orange juice and walking towards them.
"Gentlemen. It appears my chauffeur has taken his leave without letting me know." You shrugged, and Mingyu sighed as you held your hand out. The friendship between the two of you had grown exponentially during the last few months, and you found yourself gossiping with him in the kitchen if Minghao was busy or Tzuyu wasn't at her podium.
He handed his keys over without a word, Seungcheol's eyes full of guilt as he patted the younger man's shoulder. "We'll see you next week, Gyu." You didn't bother with goodbyes, the married couple giving you curt nods as they followed behind you. Minghao's car was no longer in the parking lot, and you beelined for Mingyu's without a second thought. Seungcheol locked the front door of the restaurant, and you felt Jeonghan's eyes on your back as you climbed into the lifted pickup truck.
Mingyu was silent as you fiddled with his radio, cranking the ignition before sucking in a breath. "You wannaâ"
"How do you and Minghao do it?"
You blinked, absently turning out of the parking lot and pulling off into the main road. "How do weâŠdo what?"
Mingyu was frustrated, tossing his baseball cap onto the dash with a huff. He slumped in the passenger seat, crossing his arms over his chest before peering up at you through teary eyes.
"Work together and go home together without bringing any of the work problems with you. It's like we're constantly being pushed and pulled. If I'm not being called in, she is. I'm not saying it's a bad business decision by Jeonghan or Seungcheol, but she gets tired, too. I know she's great at her job, but she won't be here forever. Her potential is far greater than just greeting people who don't even deserve to be graced with her presence."
You hummed, fiddling with the turn signal.
"I wish I could help, Mingyu! However, Minghao and Iâ"
"Oh, come on. You're going to tell me you're just friends? That you haven't, even for a moment in time, though what it would be like to be together? You're saying that neither of you have ever gotten just entirely too close and almost kissed?" You felt your face grow hot as Mingyu sat up in his seat, leaning slightly over the center console as you slowed to a halt at a red light. You made the mistake of glancing over, seeing an expectant gaze on your friend's face. He watched intently as you rubbed your face in frustration, running your hands through your hair as you scoffed.
"Okay, fine. Minghao and IâŠthere is truly nothing there, I can promise you that." You began, clearing your throat as you stared out the windshield to the fiery red light. Mingyu tilted his head, sort of like a puppy, as you squeezed your eyes shut momentarily. "Sometimes, I think we could be more. I don't like him, and he doesn't like meâŠbut he certainly goes above and beyond for our friendship. I can say that for all of his friendships, though, because Minghao is just that kind of guy, you know? Kind, observant, sweet." "It confuses you." "This is supposed to be a therapy session for you, not me." Mingyu snorted, shaking his head. "Okay, fine. How do you and Minghao not fight?" "Because we're not together. We're friends, and we're roommates. We don't have that expectation of having to spend time together, because sometimes just brushing past one another when we're at work is enough. Sometimes waking up in the middle of the night to pee but having to wait because he's in the restroom is enough. Sometimes walking to the laundromat together is enough." You shrugged, before sighing.Â
"When Hansol and Seungkwan were on vacation and we were pulling all those double shifts, he showed me that I could depend on him. He'd make breakfast before he left for work, and then come to pick me up for my shift. We did that for two weeks, and by the end of it, we were both exhausted. He never made me feel like I owed him anything, much less my time." You turned to face him, "You and Tzuyu have been together for three years. If you keep having the same fight, over the same thing. If the issue is that you don't spend enough time together, I think you should tackle that. Take a vacation, the restaurant won't burn down without you. Save your relationship." Mingyu sighed, running a hand through his hair before slumping once more. "I miss spending time with her. You know the last time we actually spent time together as a couple was when we went to pick up Minghao's couch? I don't think we've been able to even have a date night since."
You gaped, reaching over to smack his arm lightly. "Mingyu!" "I know, I know. God, and we were supposed to have a date night tomorrow, too, but Wonwoo is sick and Jihoon already asked for the night off." He rubbed his face in frustration, and the words slipped from your lips as you pulled into your apartment complex. "Call out. Minghao and I have the day off tomorrow, we can fill in." You blurted, and Mingyu scoffed. "Y/N, I couldn't ask you to do that." "You're not, I'm offering." You didn't let him continue to speak, instead turning his engine off and sliding out of his truck. Minghao and Tzuyu were sitting on your front steps, his jacket draped over her shoulders as she wiped her eyes. You felt the heat of Mingyu's body behind you, and Tzuyu didn't look up as you cleared your throat. Minghao glanced at you, his eyes heavy with expectation as you twitched your head in the direction of the apartment. "I lost my key."
You snorted, digging yours out of your pocket and shoving them into his hand. "Come in, we'll have a nightcap. Then you guys can go home and have a good night together, yeah?" Minghao seemed to understand as he opened the door and let the couple in. Tzuyu sat on the far end of your couch, and Mingyu didn't even bother sitting down â he beelined straight for your kitchen. You grabbed Minghao's arm lightly, pulling at his sleeve carefully and tilting your head towards his room. He nods, following behind you as you skirt into the pristine bedroom.
"I may haveâŠfucked up." You start, making Minghao shake his head with a gentle smile. "Nah. I'm sure you said the same things I did. Spend time together, stop working so much, you and I are not together." He rolled his eyes as he tugged his jacket off, draping it over the back of his desk chair. His eyes scan your face, before his smile drops and his brows furrowed in concern. "What's wrong, honey?"
"I didâŠsay all of thatâŠ" You grimaced, rubbing your neck sheepishly. "But I alsoâŠmay have volunteered you and I to take their shifts tomorrow." "Y/N." He groaned, and you winced slightly, your hands coming to hold his. He allowed it, his eyes boring into yours as you tried to apologize.
"I know it was our only day off this week, Hao. I'm sorry, but Iâ" "You could've asked me first." He didn't sound mad, but disappointed. You felt like you were going to get scolded by your father. You shrank back a bit, and you could feel guilt spreading in your body as he sighed. You grimaced at the sting of tears filling your eyes, but bit them back.
"Are we doing rock-paper-scissors to see who takes what? Did you even call Jeonghan?" He moved his hands from yours, running one through his hair before crossing his arms. You shook your head in silence, and he squeezed his eyes shut for a brief moment before nodding. He held his hand out, yet another despondent sigh slipping from his lips. "Loser takes Mingyu's shift. Best out of three." "Minghao, I can just find someone else to do it. I'm sorry."
"Best. Out. Of. Three." You tongued your cheek, losing quickly to the tall man in front of you. Scissors, scissors, paper to his rock, rock, scissors.
"You're driving tomorrow." He muttered, rubbing his face with his hands before you nodded, looking anywhere but him and moving to slip out of his bedroom. He shook his head, standing in front of the door. "I'm not upset." "Okay." "Y/N." "What?"
His hands reach for your shoulders, and you kept your eyes casted elsewhere. His fingers are warm as they tilt your chin to look up at him, forcing you to try and blink back the tears when he rubs the pad of his thumb on your cheek. "I'm sorry for snapping. It wasn't my intention but I can tell I've hurt your feelings, and I never want to hurt your feelings." His voice was soft, and you felt your throat tighten slightly. You weren't too sure why you were even crying, maybe it was reminiscent of being scolded for trying to do the right thing.
"I'm sorry, honey." He murmurs, pressing a kiss to your forehead before pulling you into his chest. He smells like pink pepper and the essence of pomegranates, mixed with a hint of the maple butter rum one of the regulars likes to knock back. It's oddly comforting. "Forgive me." "It's fine. I should've asked." "Yes, you should have. However, that's not the point here."
Minghao pulled back slightly, pointing his finger in your face. You huffed, but he raised his brows at you â as if to say, listen. Be quiet.
"You need to call Jeonghan and let him know. If we're going to work tomorrow, I need to spend time with you tonight." You must've looked taken aback, because he only smiled. He pinched your cheek lightly, before humming and opening his door. "Go on, call him. We'll be in the living room." Either you'd been too out of it to fully process, or Jeonghan had truly had you on the phone explaining all your qualifications to run a kitchen as a head chef. You didn't have many, just the few nights you flipped burgers at a diner back in high school â but it seemed enough to settle Jeonghan. He let you know there was going to be a trainee chef with you named Joshua, as well as the kitchen manager named Seokmin.
Jeonghan also let you know that Tzuyu's shift started earlier than Mingyu's, so someone would have to go get you. He volunteered Seungcheol, and you could hear the man begin to protest in the background but he hung up before anything could be truly said.
You ducked out of Minghao's room to see him folding blankets in the living room, soft music playing on the television as he glanced up. He smiled, and you noticed the two cups on the coffee table. One tainted with lipstick from Tzuyu, and what seemed to be one filled with water? Soju? Rum? Something.
"Tzuyu is driving. She had some of your juice, I hope that's alright." He nodded, and you waved it off. You turned to the television, No One Noticed by The MarĂas playing softly as he hummed along. "Did Jeonghan say it was okay? I was trained to be a host and a waiter before I was a bartender, but you just jumped into waitressing, right?" "I had a part-time gig in high school at a diner. I have some, but not a lot." You shrugged, and he made an o-shape with his lips as he smoothed the folded blanket over the back of the couch. You nodded, before checking your watch. "It's only fifteen to eleven, do you wanna sit with me? Decompress a bit before we go to bed?" "Your version of decompressing is watching Bob's Burgers and sipping a beer." "We can sip something else, if that's the case." He rolled his eyes, biting back a smile as he nodded. "I have to change."
You both ended up returning to your respective rooms, and you hastily wiped your makeup off. Pajama shorts, your favorite baggy t-shirt that boasted of Bigfoot's existenceâŠnot the first thing you would wear to hang out but it's Minghao. You stared at yourself in the vanity mirror on your dresser, but heard your roommate knock on your door before your mind could wander too far about where all he could kiss you, in said stupid Bigfoot shirt.
"Are you taking a shower first tonight? Or are we going to fight for it again?" Minghao asked gently, and you shrugged.
"Go for it. I go in later than you do tomorrow, Tzuyu's shift starts at four." You wiggled your brows, and he scoffed, turning on his heel and beelining for the living room. You snickered to yourself, scampering after him as he flopped onto the couch. He draped an arm over his eyes, letting out a groan as you leaned over the back of it. "Want a beer, Mr. I don't drink?" He lifted his arm slightly, his eyes peering out at you from beneath it. "You drink like a fish, you know that?" "Is that a no?" "...Fine, I'll have a beer. Just one!" You cheered sarcastically, scurrying into the kitchen and grabbing two from the fridge. You peered at the bottle of Soju, mocking you from the shelf.
"Did you get lost in the fridge?" You heard Minghao call from the living room, making you scoff as you grabbed the bottle of Soju and tucked it under your arm. The piercing cold of the glass bottle made you shiver as you walked back into the living room. He was now skipping through movie recommendations on Netflix, his eyes darting back and forth across the screen.
"I said we could sip something else, I never said we'd be changing our entertainment of the night." You scoffed, sliding the drinks onto the coffee table as he smirked lazily.Â
"You're right, honey." He flipped the remote in his hand, holding it out to you as you shook your head. You cracked open the beers, handing him one before perching on the edge of the couch in front of him. His stomach is warm against your lower back, and you try to ignore the way the blue light of the television makes his arms glow.Â
Your eyes trailed up to his face, watching the way his tongue darted out to wet his lips before bringing the beer bottle to them. He continued to flip through suggestions, before you snapped out of your daze to hear him reading the summary to Ali Wong's Always Be My Maybe.
"...Feel the old sparks of attraction but struggle to adapt to each other's worlds. Interesting." He set his beer back on the coffee table. You snorted, "This is two hours long, Hao."
"You have somewhere to be?" He scoffed, pressing Play. You shook your head, feeling his hand tug at the back of your shirt, signaling for you to lean back. You did, resting your elbow on the back of the couch before reaching for the bottle of soju. "Can I have a sip?" You nodded silently, watching the two children on the television grow up to the sound of Young Americans by David Bowie. You held the uncapped bottle over to him, feeling his hand take it as Marcus' father let the now-teenagers know that tragedy had struck the Kim family. You felt your heart sink as the scene changed to something more somber, hearing Minghao hum to himself and mumble slightly. "This is sad as hell, it just started." You couldn't help but snort, taking the bottle back from him and taking a sip. You glanced over to see his ears slightly perked at the sound of D'Angelo's How Does It Feel, before his eyes met yours. "I'll bet you ten bucks they're going to kiss." "It's not a bet when you already know what the outcome is going to be." You scoffed, making him laugh softly. "See? They're already struggling to get in the backseat, I would've been out ten bucks if I took you up on that." "Call it gas money." He lightly pinched your side, making you jerk away from him. You swatted his hand away, sliding the bottle onto the coffee table with a scowl.
"First of all, I tried to give you gas money a few weeks ago and you cussed me out."
"I did not cuss you out! I merely asked what in the most significant fuck you thought you were doing."
"Oh, what a colorful wayâ" "Shut up before I tickle you." You huffed, feeling his fingertips dig into your side. He smiled up at you, gently squeezing the softness of your skin before patting it. "The point is, I'd never ask you for gas money. Let's be realistic." You nodded, struggling not to roll your eyes as he fully stopped paying attention to the movie, his head rested on his palm as Sasha cried in the walk-in fridge. "What happened with Mingyu? Tzuyu was a mess." "It's just odd to me that everyone thinks we're a thing? Mingyu asked me how you and I didn't bring home our work problemsâ"
"And you told him that we don't have that expectation of having to spend time together because we're not together. We're just friends." Minghao interrupted, his eyes serious as he spoke. You cleared your throat, nodding. "I don't agree with that." "Oh? You don't?" You felt your brows high on your forehead as you looked down at him, feeling his hand pat your back before he used it to run his fingers through his hair. "And why not?" "Because I like spending time with you. Why do you think I was upset earlier when you told me you volunteered us for the shifts?" "You said you weren't upset." "Sometimes people lie." "Oh, so you're a liar?" You leaned slightly closer, and he smirks.Â
"While normally I'd apologize, I think I was right to do that. I was upset because now I don't get to spend the day with you tomorrow, and I lied because I didn't want you to cry. I don't like seeing you sad, it makes me sad." He shrugged, and you tongued your cheek.
"Romantic, aren't you?" You rolled your eyes, "My feelings are your feelings and your feelings are mine. All that jazz." "You don't have to brush off my affections as something romantic, you know. I can care about you openly and not have feelings for you in that way." "So you're saying you don't have romantic feelings for me?" "Never said that. I said I can." He lilted, reaching for his beer. You felt your cheeks grow hot as he sipped it, his eyes wide as he looked back over at you. "Woah, you would've thought I said I eat babies for a living. Are you okay?" "W-What did you and Tzuyu talk about?" You stuttered, making his brow quirk in confusion as he set his beer back down.Â
"She asked me if you and I ever fight about work. I said no, because the beginning of ourâŠfriendship has always been this way. Too close for other people's comfort, veryâŠadvanced, in a way. We don't have spats over things that don't really matter, because workâŠit doesn't affect our dynamic." "Why did you hesitate before 'friendship?'"
"What?" "Before you said friendship. You paused. Why?" Minghao's eyes narrowed slightly, before he shrugged. "I paused when I said it with Tzuyu, as well. I guessâŠI don't know. I think back to what happened in your apartment, I take into consideration the way we speak to each other and kind of dance around the flame that could be something. I'm not saying it ever has to become a fire, the flame. But, it's definitely there." You felt your stomach flip slightly as you cleared your throat, reaching for your beer. You brought it to your lips, but didn't manage to take a sip before you sighed, putting it back down and tilting to face him. "We never talk about that night. Did you tell Tzuyu about it?" "No. That's not her business." He answered quickly, his eyes glancing at the television. Sasha and Marcus were now laying in bed together, staring at the ceiling. "I didn't think you'd be very fond of me telling her, either. I figured that if you didn't mention it while I helped Mingyu take the couch, it wasn't something you'd want shared." You shifted slightly, tucking your foot under your leg as you looked at him. âDo you think that is something we should share?â
âItâs not about my reputation though, is it? I donât care what people think of me.â He shrugged, running his fingers through his hair once more. âBut I care about what people say when it comes to you. I donât like hearing others speak ill of you.â
âWould people knowing we almost slept together cause them to speak about me in a negative light?â You questioned, your hands fumbling for the bottle of soju. You offered it to him, and he took a small sip as he hummed.
âMaybe. Considering the fact that we are now roommates, and you constantly deny that there is anything between us.â
âAs if you don't do the same.â âI donât.â
âWhat?â Your eyes went wide as he held the bottle back out to you. You took it, bringing it to your lips as he shrugged.
âThe customers like you, they think youâre sweet. The customers like me, and a few of them have asked if weâre a thing. I usually deflectâŠbut I donât think itâd be the worst thing in the world.â
âWhat? Us?â âIs there an us?â
You glanced at the television, the actors staring fondly at each other. They inch in for a kiss...twoâŠ
âY/N.â âSorry.â
Minghao was looking at you intently, his eyes searching your face as he moved your hair off your shoulder. âWe donât have to keep talking about this. Itâs getting late.â
âDid you like it? TheâŠuh, in my apartment?â You blurted, but Minghao showed no sign of surprise. In fact, he seemed to welcome the question, his eyes soft as he nodded.
"The kiss? Of course I did. I'm just notâŠused to it, I guess. I'm not a casual kind of guy. I was nervous, actually." He nodded, his thumb toying with the ring on his forefinger. You nodded carefully, fiddling with the spout of the soju bottle as you cleared your throat. "Nervous?" "Obviously. At that point, we were just starting to solidify our friendship. You had just gotten done with Jaehyun only a few months prior, and you literally signed the lease for this place that day. I was scared if we kept going, things would change. I enjoy your company, I enjoy your friendshipâŠ" He trailed off, clearing his throat as he seemingly shook off a feeling of something. "I didn't want things to go further if nothing was going to come from it, but more importantly, if it made you uncomfortable." "I wasn't uncomfortable. I just wasn't ready. I didn't want you to be a rebound. You deserved more." "You don't think I know what I deserve?" "I would hope that you do, and that you know it's not me. At least, not at that point in time." You muttered, hearing him scoff as he took the bottle of soju from your hand. "Hey!" "Is for horses. Are you hearing yourself right now?" He straightened up, carefully sitting up and adjusting himself to sit next to you. He folded his legs, and you did the same to face him fully. Your knees brushed his sweatpants, and you leaned back on your hands, toying with the seam of your couch cushion. "Are you?" "Minghaoâ"
"You're amazing, Y/N. Stop trying to put yourself down, or act like you're not someone who deserves everything. You're soft and sweet and one of the kindest people I've ever come across. You offered to work someone's shift on your day off, not because you want the money, no; because you want them to spend time together and help their relationship continue to flourish. You think anyone just does that?" He scoffed, and you cleared your throat, shrugging.
"It's not that serious." "Stop that! It is that serious, Y/N! You're so gentle and loving, and you are such a warm person to have around. The room practically lights up when you walk in, haven't you seen how excited the regulars at work get when they find out you're serving them? Haven't you seen how easily you make Seungcheol and Jeonghan laugh? Don't you understand how appreciated you are, even just within our friends and our coworkers? Are you that blind?"
He leaned forward, his hands settled on either side of your thighs as he spoke. "You have got to start recognizing that you're more than what you see. Other people don't matter, for the love of God, I promise they don't. You are so, so beautiful. I don't know how else to make you understand that."
"You don't need to make me understand anything. You're my friend." "What if I want more?" He murmured, and you felt your cheeks grow hot as you cleared your throat, your eyes darting around his face. His own were full of sincerity, dark with determination to understand you.Â
You couldn't help the way you leaned closer, your heart thundering in your ears as he tilted his head. "Do you?" He inched closer, so close you could feel his breath on your lips. "Are you drunk?"
"No." "Tipsy?"Â "No." He hummed, "We work tomorrow." "Minghao." "That's my name, pretty."
You scoffed, jutting your lip in a pout as he smiled. His hand was gentle as he brushed the hair away from your face, tucking a stray curl behind your ear. His thumb stopped at the lobe, tugging lightly at the diamond earrings he got you for graduation. "Nice earrings." "You would know, you got them for me." You mumbled, making him stifle a laugh as he nodded.
"I know. You always look so pretty when you wear them." He murmured back, and you scrunched your nose. "So you don't think I look pretty all the time?"
He smiled, his thumb lightly stroking your jaw as he moved away from you. "You said you'd shower first, I'll clean up here."
For whatever reason, you listened. You nodded in silence, your hand fumbling for the remote and turning the television off as he slid off the couch. He took the half-empty beer cans in his hands, offering holding the now-empty bottle of soju under his arm.
"Goodnight, Y/N. Rest well."

PRESENT â 3:15AMâŠ
Minghao can't sleep.
His room is a mess, the door locked behind him as he shuffles through the piles of clothes on the floor. They say your room is a reflection of your state of mind, and it's true â he can't think, he can't sleep, hellâŠ
He can't breathe without thinking of you.Â
The two of you worked that shift for Mingyu and Tzuyu two months ago, and it was the worst shift of his life. He spent the entire time thinking about you, about the conversation you'd had the night before. Hoping you'd give him that longing glance you'd nailed perfectly in the time he'd known you, hoping he'd get to kiss you breathless and hoping you'd yearn for him the way he did you.
Instead, he shook it off. He stood at the host stand, greeting customers softly and seating them. He did his closing duties without even seeing a glimpse of you, until you walked out of the kitchen with a grin on your lips as you bid the trainee chef, Joshua, a goodnight.
He remembers the way your smile became something softer as he opened the passenger side door, how you let him buckle your seatbelt in for you and thanked him gently. He remembers how you offered to let him shower first as he peeled out of the parking lot, and how he scoffed and said you should go first.Â
He remembers how you asked, again, what you would do for his birthday. He replied the same thing he had before â just you, and him. After his shift.
A shift he did not end up working, because you put in for him to have the day off and argued with Jeonghan until you were blue in the face. Minghao didn't know until the schedule was stapled onto the bulletin board the following week, his eyes almost instantly finding you across the kitchen. You had been eagerly talking to Seungcheol, making him laugh as you overanimated whatever story you'd told him.
He didn't say anything as the days went on, only quietly waited in his bedroom until you came in the morning of his birthday with breakfast on a TV tray. The two of you spent the entire day together and you initiated all contact â your arms wrapped around his waist from behind as he made lunch, resting your cheek on his bare back. You squeezed his sides, you cuddled him into the couch cushions as you watched Josee, the Tiger and the Fish. You made him dinner, you presented him with a few gifts and a new tea set he'd been eyeing for ages.Â
You kissed his hairline, wishing him a happy birthday over a bottle of soju that he took two sips of. Two sips too much, as his lips ghosted over yours as you spoke to each other about nothing â too close, but he saw the way you held yourself back. He saw the way you wanted to kiss him, the way your hands clenched at your sides as you forced yourself to move away.
He wishes you would've kissed him.
His birthday had passed, you were nearing the end of November. This time last year, you'd asked him for a Guinness, with the most solemn look on your face.
This time last year, he drove you home for the first time and understood you'd be in his life, hopefully forever. He hadn't worked today, but dropped you off and picked you up â and you had a rough day. You talked about it â one of your regulars had a bad day and took it out on you, sending her food back three times and your tips had been nothing like what you usually made. You'd been snippy, and he prepped your shower for you, tossing a lavender steamer into it. You thanked him, and holed yourself away in your bedroom ten minutes to midnight.
He laid awake, thinking about you.
You'd long gone to bed, your soft breathing the only sound when he slid past your slightly opened door. You looked serene â your cheek squished against your pillow, soft lips gently puckered as you snuggled deeper into your sage green blanket. Your hair splayed all around, the moonlight seeping in through the drawn blinds and casting lines across your face.
He misses you, and you're no more than a ten-foot walk away. He wants to talk about his feelings, he wants to hold you close and he wants to stop losing his mind over how badly he wants you.
How badly he needs you.
He sighed as he looked around his room, the mess only digging into his very bones. He should've just spoken to you about his feelings all those weeks ago. He should've said yes, he did want more. He thinks about you romantically. He thinks about that night on your couch more times than he could count, tugging at his hair in frustration as he tries to bury the memories deep in the past.
He can't. He can't think about anything but you in that pretty white dress at his graduation party, talking to his parents with such ease. The relaxed state of your shoulders as you spoke to everyone with a gentle smile on your lips, the warmth in your laughter never leaving as you danced with him and Junhui.Â
The way your eyes filled with something else as his parents asked you if there was something more between you and him, and his chest feeling tight when you insisted it wasn't the case. The way he could see the subtle disappointment in your face when he did the sameâŠ
He wants to understand you. He wants you to understand him, to observe him, to see him.
See him as more than just a friend, and he knows you do.
Whether it was a crush, or limerenceâŠhe doesn't care. He wants one chance at living life with you â coming home from work to sleep in the same bed and hold you close all night. To come home from a grueling shift and stand under the burning hot shower with you, feeling his muscles lose their tension with the heat and your gentle touch. To come home and make you a nice cocktail and a filling dinner. To come home and study with you, eventually. To come home and see you asleep on the couch, and getting to carry you to bed.
To come home, to you. Over and over again.Â
"Fuck." He groans, slumping against his headboard and jolting at the cold of the wood against his shoulders. A sigh left his lips as he slid down slightly, tugging the duvet higher over his hips as he reached for his phone. He unlocked it, opening his gallery with a pout on his lips.
You, in your white dress at his graduation party. His mother took this photo â your hand had been on his chest, his high on your waist as you both smiled into the camera. Your lips had been reglossed, so pretty and glitteryâŠ
And your smile had been so bright, like the events earlier that day hadn't transpired. Like you hadn't pursed your lips together when calling your parents and getting sent straight to voicemail. Like you hadn't blinked back tears three times during lunch with him and Junhui, like he hadn't seen Junhui angrily calling your parents while you ducked into the ladies room after Minghao offered to foot the bill.
You had been truly at ease during that photo, much different than you had felt that entire day.
And he wants every single day to be like that for you â easy. Easy, with your independence but still letting him gently aid when he could see you needed it. Needed him. He wants to take you home and introduce you as his life partner, he wants to see you succeed in your dreams and have you by his side as he did the same.
He wants you to be happy.
"Minghao? Are you awake?" Your voice was heard before the soft raps of your fist against the door. He jumped, knocking his head on the wooden bedframe. His hand covers his mouth as he rubs the crown of his head, a hiss falling from his lips as he hears you mumble from the other side of the door. He locks his phone, tossing it onto the dresser as he slid out from under his duvet. He grabs a pair of sweatpants off the floor, grimacing to himself as he tugs them on before opening his door.
You look half awake, your hands clutching at the hem of your shirt. Your face is imprinted with the wrinkles from your pillowcase, often the way it looked when he would wake you up before work. The drawstring of your shorts was undone, but it had been tied when you went to bed. Maybe it got uncomfortable.
"Sorry, did I wake you?" You asked softly, and he shook his head. "Can't sleep. You okay? It's a mess in here, I'm sorry." He says sheepishly, rubbing his neck as you closed your eyes, shaking your head as you slipped past him. You settled on the edge of his bed, your eyelids heavy with sleep as you hummed. "You didn't make me feel bad about my mess. Something about it being my space, I remember. You said something about that when I said mine was messy. Don't worry about it." You sigh, peeling your eyes open to peer up at him. "I can't sleep." Minghao looked at the clock on his wall. 3:29AM.
"Would you like something warm? Or would youâ" "Can you hold me?" You whispered it, almost too low for him to hear you.Â
Over the course of your friendship, skinskip had been nothing new to either of you. He often pressed chaste kisses to your hairline, his thumbs stroking your cheeks, his arms wrapped around your shoulders when you'd slump against him after the end of a shift in the parking lot.
You were looking at him patiently, and he cleared his throat, nodding as he motioned for you to move back. You did so, scooting under his duvet with a frown on your face. He closed his door, perching on the side of his bed as you rested your head on one of his pillows.
He glances over his shoulder, seeing you peering up at him quietly before you speak. "Hit your head when I knocked, didn't you? I heard the bump." "Yeah. Your fault if I get amnesia, you know." He snorts, lying down next to you. His heart is racing a mile a minute as you held the duvet up for him to slide under, but he did so anyway. He turned on his side, propping himself up on his elbow as you turned to face him.
"Don't forget me." You murmur, your lip jutted out in a pout as he feels his cheeks grow warm. As if he could ever.
"Hold me, Hao. I'm cold." "Should've worn pants, pretty." He teases, making you scoff. You are so close to him, he can feel your breath on his chest as he scoots slightly closer. His fingers rake through your hair, your cheek warm to the touch as he pinches it. You scowl, shooing his hand away as you press your face into his neck. Your lips are feathering over his skin, and he squeezes his eyes shut as he feels your arm settle around his waist.
You tilted your head back, his eyes peeling open to look down at you.
"Something wrong, honey?" He spoke under his breath, and you blink up at him. Your eyes flitted around his face, and he felt a bit of worry settle in his stomach. He cradles your jaw in his hand gently, "Talk to me." "If I wanted there to be an 'us'...would you be okay with that?"Â
Minghao feels the world stop.Â
Your eyes are glued to his face with the softest glint of apprehension, your body still under the duvet as his thumb traced circles into your cheek. "You're tired. We can talk in the morning." He assures you, for whatever reason hoping that you'd let it go. Hoping that you were just speaking through your teeth, not truly enticing him to a conversation about his feelings.
Feelings that could ruin everything, even when he's sure you feel the same. You have to, right? Eyes don't lie.
Your eyes stayed on his face, unmoving as he peered down into them. Your lip is stuck in a pout, your own hand moving to push his hair out of his face. He fought the urge to sink into your touch, your voice giving him something to focus on.
"Not tired, Hao." You murmur, and he feels a bubble of laughter get caught in his throat as you hold back a yawn. He pressed his lips to your hairline, hearing you hum inwardly. Your brow furrows as you seemingly glare up at him, looking nothing short of an angry kitten.
"You confuse me, you know that?"
"Mmh, do I? I'm sorry, honey." He smiles, watching you tuck your arms into your chest and snuggling into his. He wraps his arm around your shoulders, letting your head rest on his bicep as you frown.
"You kiss me like it means nothing, and I want it to mean something." Your mumble was clear, and he glanced down at you to see you already staring up at him. "You call me pet names, and you get me earrings. You tell me I'm beautiful in ways you can't describe. You cared enough to find this place we call home. You say you want to make my life easier, you said you'd give your left arm for it." Your fingers pat the arm under your head, and he felt his lip twitch as he bit back a nervous smile. "I did say that." "So answer my question. Make things easier for me, Minghao." He sighs, twirling a piece of your hair in his fingers. "Ask me again." "If I wanted there to be an 'us'...would you be okay with that?" Your voice is far softer, and he breathes in steadily as he nods. "I would be more than okay with that. I think you know that already, though, don't you?" He spoke gently, feeling you nod gently against his arm. "Everything I do for you means something to me. The earrings, the kisses, finding this place we call home. I appreciate that, the fact that it's we and not just me, not just you. When you think about it, there has always been an us." "I want to stop lying in my bed and thinking about how empty it is. I haven't been able to sleep through the night since we shared mine the night of our graduations." You utter, your breathing shaky as you look up at him. Your eyes are glazed with unshed tears as he coos, thumbing at your cheek. "I think about you every single night, Minghao. I think about you when I think about my parents, and how they don't speak to me unless I reach out first. I think about you when I get ready for work, I think about you while I'm waiting for you to give me those god awful Budweiser Select 55s that Mrs. Choi loves."
He felt a tear slide onto his skin, hearing you sniffle slightly before you kept talking.
"I think about you when I have a bad day. I think about you when I'm off work and you're not, and how I wish you were with me. I think about you when I feel alone, because you're the only person aside from Junhui that has ever made me feel seen and understood. I think about you when the essence of Jaehyun crosses my mind, because I know that you'd never make me overthink my place in your life, but now you've got me wondering where we stand. I think about you, Minghao, every single second of my day. It's all so vague, in my mind. Knowing that you're only a few feet away, but you feel so far. Like someone I could never deserve, but I know that you are also just a man. There's no way I couldn't."
He hums, his thumb wiping softly under your eye as you let them flutter shut.Â
"I think you're magnificent." He breathes, closing his eyes as he presses his forehead to yours. "I think you are the most thought-provoking person I've ever met. I know thatâŠI know that you've only slowly allowed me into your life, quietly revealing parts of yourself and showing me that you trust me. From allowing me to meet Junhui, to letting me give you rides home, to living with me. You let me take care of you even though you are more stubborn than any mule in the countryside." He pulls back slightly, seeing your eyes closed and letting tears trickle out as you listen in silence. He feels his heart in his throat, "You've got the softest lips I've ever had the pleasure of kissing. YouâŠthe way you exist, knowing that there are certain odds against you and yet, you do it anyway. Your passion precedes any negativity anyone could ever cast upon you and I've never admired someone more to know that you are just a living, breathing, embodiment of passion and truth and hope."
Your eyes open slightly, bloodshot as his nose brushes yours lightly, his lips ghosting over yours as he speaks.
"You are a tumultuous flame and if I get burned, so be it. If I let the heat of your fire singe me to death, it wouldn't be a death in pain. I'd let it happen, over and over."
You nod, your sniffles are the only sound in the room for a moment.
"I will always be okay with there being an us. Even if you muddle my heart into the bottom of a glass and drink it."
You snort at this, an airy laugh escaping your lips as you reach to wipe your eyes. "Quite the image." "Ah, nah. Just a fool, a court jester for the lady." He rolls his eyes, making you scoff as you brush your lips to his.Â
"I thought you were going to kiss me that night. When I told you I picked up Mingyu and Tzuyu's shifts." You whisper, and he hums in response, feeling his heart thundering in his ears as your lips touch his briefly. "Would you have? Kissed me, I mean?" "If I had moved any closer to you, I probably would have. You have no idea how often I think about it." He confesses, before feeling you nod, your leg draping over his hip as you pull him closer. His hand instinctively finds home high on your thigh, before sliding up to rest on the small of your back. "Did you want to kiss me the night of my birthday?" "God, so badly." You squeeze your eyes shut, pressing your forehead to his as you let out a sigh. "I felt like Mr. Darcy in Pride and Prejudice after he helped Elizabeth into that carriage." "Quite the image." He mocks you, feeling his cheeks warm as your eyes meet his. "Would you let me kiss you now?" You don't respond, opting to press your lips to his gently. Your fingers gingerly cradled his cheek as he kissed you back, his eyes fluttering shut. His hand on your back clutches the fabric of your shirt, his chest warm at the shyness of your lips moving against his. He pulls back slightly, his eyes trailing across your face. "Are you sure you want to do this?" "More than I've ever been of anything in my entire life." You nodded against his arm, and he silently pushed you onto your back, his fingers barely breaching the hem of your shirt. Your skin is hot against his fingertips as he settles between your legs, his thumb rubbing circles into your hip as you blink up at him. "Are you?" "I don't want this to be the first time I say it, so can we sidebar this? Off the record?" He murmurs, and you raise a brow as you open your mouth to speak but he interrupts you "I love you, Y/N."
Your lips twitch slightly, your hands floating to cover your cheeks. You separate your fingers slightly, peeking up at him with a mumbled whisper.
"You promise?" "Oh, darling." He pulls your hands off your face, your eyes slightly glazed as he interlaces your fingers together and pins them to either side of your head. His lips pepper kisses across your face, paying special attention to the scrunch in your nose before he stops over your lips. Your eyes blink owlishly up at him as he speaks. "I promise."
Your smile spreads against his lips as he kisses you gently, before you kiss him back. You let him lead, one of his hands moving to hold your jaw as yours slides to his hip, squeezing gently.Â
"Sidebar?" "Yes?" "I love you, too."

TWO WEEKS LATERâŠ
"Babe, I need a Guinness." You slid around the bar with a grin on your face, Minghao's cheek ruddy as he tongued his cheek. Kwon Soonyoung â a regular, one that often downed six or seven whiskey sours before calling his situationship for a late night hookup â eyed you as you crouched to slip a wad of bills into your lockbox. He watched the way Minghao's hand instinctively covered the edge of the bar as he poured with one hand, the way your hand lingered on Minghao's hip as Jeonghan made his way over with his clipboard in his hand.
"Minghao." "Mr. Yoon." You smirked, squeezing Minghao's hip gently before leaning over the bar as Jeonghan rolled his eyes. Minghao clicked his tongue, sliding the Guinness over to you before shooing you away. You stuck your tongue out at him, before zipping away.
"Do you think you could cover Seungkwan's prep shift tomorrow? I'll pay you for time and a half, and it's only three hours before closing." Jeonghan's eyes were pleading, and Minghao opened his mouth to speak before he caught you talking to a customer with a soft smile on your face.
He thinks about how you laid in his bedroom two weeks ago, snuggling with him and letting your lips take over your mind as you kissed him over and over. He thinks about how you admitted to reapplying to another graduate program across town, one that would severely impact your hours at work. He remembers saying he hopes you get in, to not worry about work. He remembers how he said he's got it, he can take care of everything, of you.
He remembers how you straddled him then, his hands sliding on your hips as you kissed him eagerly.Â
He remembers how you paced back and forth like a caged animal when you found out acceptance letters would be mailed soon. He remembers how you laid on the couch with your head hanging over the edge of the cushions, groaning in anticipation as he made lunch.
He remembers how you bolted for the mailbox after lunch, returning with a stack of mail but holding your letter between your teeth. He remembers how you anxiously ripped the envelope open, your hand fumbling for his when he pulled you into his chest and held the letter away. He remembers telling you to take a deep breath, kissing your forehead gently and sitting you down on the couch. He remembers how you threw your arms around him as you read your acceptance out loud.
"Minghao. Are you listening?" "Huh? Sorry." He winces, clearing his throat before shaking his head. "I can't, actually. I'mâŠ" He trails off as you tap the tip of your pen to your notepad, before he makes out your lips telling the customers you'd be back for their food orders. Your eyes met his as you scampered back over, your hip nudging Jeonghan's as you slid in next to him.
"Minghao, I need you to focus." Jeonghan waved his hand in Minghao's face, "Can you work it or not? It's fine if you can't." "Work what?" You ask with a wiggle of your brows, reaching over the bar and stealing a maraschino cherry from the open jar. Minghao frowns, waving your hand away as you pull the fruit off the stem, winking his way.Â
"I'm asking him if he can work the prep shift tomorrow, but he's not answering." Jeonghan rolled his eyes, flipping the blue pen between his fingers as you hum, nodding your head. "He can't." You shrug, and Minghao opens his mouth but you beat him to it. "We have a date tomorrow night. Good luck finding a cover, though."Â
You tilt your head as you shrug again, this time, unapologetically. Facing Minghao again, you smile softly. "I need a cosmopolitan. Susie is back and she's getting divorced!" Minghao can't hear anything but you, and Jeonghan simply shakes his head and slips away. Soonyoung watches as you slide away again, hearing you tell Minghao you'll be back after getting the fountain drinks for Susie's table.
"I thought you didn't have a crush on the new girl, Xu." Soonyoung wiggles his brows, making Minghao scoff as he grabs a shaker off the drying rack. He flips it, scooping ice into it as he sighs.Â
"I don't have a crush on her. I'm in love with her."
He can't focus on anything but the way you zip around the restaurant, his eyes trained on the smiles you give out, the way you hand out crayons and kids menus. He watches the way you gleefully serve people, how you gladly grab phones and cameras for photos.
How you peer at him over your shoulder when you walk by.
How you smile shyly when his fingers brush yours when he hands you a drink.
How you sneakily kiss his shoulder when the restaurant is closed, your hands wrapped around his waist as he holds your can of orange juice in his hand. How you ignore Jeonghan's incessant teasing, how Tzuyu recites long-winded rants of how she told you so.
"Friend, roommate, coworker?" Minghao repeats as you tuck his portion of your tips into his back pocket, and Tzuyu grins as Minghao slides her to-go strawberry lemonade across the bar. "Boyfriend, fiancé, husband." She says cheekily, and Minghao looks over his shoulder to see you biting back a smile as you brush trash onto the dustpan. "I told her so. I told her you guys would be something more." "So did I." Jeonghan calls from across the restaurant, slotted behind the cashier's station as he thumbs through the register. Mingyu pokes his head out of the kitchen as he fumbles with the lights, a mumble of so did I from his lips as he finally turns them off.
"So much for muddling your heart at the bottom of a glass, huh?" You murmur, as the two of you leave the restaurant hand-in-hand. The two of you ignore the hooting and hollering of your coworkers as Minghao opens your door, leaning over your frame to buckle in your seatbelt. He glances at your lips, before pressing a chaste kiss to them with a smile. "All I know is that if you're meant to break my heart â so be it." "I love you." "I love you, too."

haologram © 2025 || no translations, reposting or modifications are allowed. do not claim as your own. viewer discretion is advised. your media consumption is your responsibility.
#the k fic collection review#chee chats about: muddled hearts by haologram#svt rec#svt fanfic#f: seventeen#p: xu minghao x reader#g: angst#g: fluff#g: suggestive#g: coworkers#g: friends to lovers#g: roommates#r: sfw#wc: 20k to 30k
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for lovers who hesitate - choi seungcheol
warnings: cheating ex, mentions of pregnancy (not reader), shotgun marriage (not reader), some curse words, mentions of blood (seungcheol in a fight), some angst (mostly on seungcheol's part, some of reader's towards the end) + this is a long fic so I'm sure I missed out stuff, my apologies. please let me know what I missed out so I can add them in!
pairings: choi seungcheol x reader
genre: fake dating, resurface of old feelings (reader) & a down bad choi seungcheol
wc: 13k (not sure what happened i was aiming 3500-5000 but oh well.)
a/n: 13k words...my longest fic on here yet..... this took quite awhile, even proofreading was a challenge, so I hope you guys enjoyed this one! but fr, I early respect and admire authors who always belt out 30k word fics, it's really not easy i don't even wanna think about it. it's one thing to get a long fic done and another to proofreading it all oof. ... and no writer really only proofreads it once
check out my masterlist! // cheol's m.list
âyou've got mail~â seokmin sings down the hallway of your shared apartment, âit looks like a wedding inviteâŠâ his voice trails off, âare any of our friends getting married? why didn't I receive one?â
seokmin's question was reasonable, you did both have the same friend group, you grew up together, having tons and tons of mutual friends, you went almost everywhere together. he's like the brother you never had. but now he's got your interest piqued as well. who could it be?
on your hand sits a wedding invitation, beautifully adorned with gold accents, pink flowers litter the edges of the invite, a bright pop of colour in contrast to the plain white.
seokmin snatches the invite out of your hand, opening the invite as he reads, âyou are cordially invited to celebrate the joy of han- what the fuck? is this a joke?â seokmin shuts the invite close and crumples it, âwhat the hell does that guy want?â
âhan minjun?â you asked as curiosity plagues your mind. seokminâs reaction only amplifies your own confusion, and you reach out to grab the crumpled invitation from his hands, smoothing it out with trembling fingers. his name stares back at you, a name you had once thought youâd never have to see or hear again. but here it is, boldly printed, like a ghost from the past come to haunt you.
âhan minjunâŠâ you murmur, your voice quieter now, filled with a mixture of disbelief and absurdity. the memories come rushing back like a tidal wave, each one hitting you harder than the last. you remember the good days first, the laughter, the late-night talks, the way he made you feel like you were the only person in the world. but those sweet memories are soon overshadowed by the darker ones, the ones you had worked so hard to forget.
you remember the way heâd become distant, how the warmth in his eyes had faded, and the excuses heâd given whenever you asked what was wrong. you remember the pit in your stomach when heâd cancel plans at the last minute, claiming he was swamped with work, even though you could hear the laughter of friends in the background whenever he called.
then there was that one night, the night everything shattered. you had gone to his apartment, unannounced, carrying takeout and hoping to surprise him. the sight that greeted you instead was something youâd never forget. minjun had been in his living room, his hand tugging on another girlâs hair, the other on her waist as they makeout heavily. their light giggles echoing through the walls you thought you knew so well. youâd dropped the food in shock, the containers spilling onto the floor, and the way minjunâs face had paled when he saw you⊠it was a moment forever etched into your heart.
âits not what it looks like,â heâd said, scrambling for an explanation, but all you felt was betrayal, the heartache, the realization that the person youâd trusted had broken you in a way you never thought possible.
you come back to the present as seokmin's voice pulls you back, âoh i dropped a post it, âhope to see you there - kim hannaâ who the hell is kim hanna?â seokmin reaches for the invite again, his eyes scanning the words imprinted on the paper, âkim hannaâŠisnt she the girl he cheated on you with? that little bi- how dare she send this invi- SHE'S MARRYING HIM?â seokmin's mouth ran faster than body allowed, never finishing his sentence, but you heard and understood every word.
you snatch the invite back. the wedding is in 2 weeks.
are you hurt? no. heartbroken? no. sad? no. upset? just a little bit. angry? oh yes, yes you were. all the anger still simmering beneath the surface as you grip the wedding invite tightly. seokmin watches you with concern, his earlier frustration shifting into worry as he notices the way anger starts to consume you.
âyou okay?â he asks gently, placing a hand on your shoulder.
you softened, âyeah i just⊠i canât believe heâs getting married after everything he did.â
seokminâs grip tightens, his protective brother instincts kicking in. âyou donât have to go,â he says firmly. âand if you decide to, you wonât go alone. iâll be right there with you, you know the boys will be too. whatever you need.â
his words bring a small sense of comfort, but the invitation still feels like a dagger, reopening wounds you thought had finally healed. âoh I'm definitely going,â
âwhy?â
âjust because. & I need a date-â
âI can be your date.â
âno you can't.â
âwhy not?â
âbecause i need my date to be my fake boyfriend. i cant show up all single to an ex's wedding & everyone knows we grow up together. we're practically siblings we would never ever date each other! that's disgusting."
seokmin's fake dramatic gasp only leaves your laughing, the anger that once resided is now long forgotten. âhow can you say that?â he continues, âdon't you watch movies? don't you read books? or even better, fanfiction? that's like a really popular trope and it's popular for a reason! why? because it's real, it happens. what if I'm in love with you and you just don't know it? then what? you could have seriously hurt my feelings!â
âyeah could have, that means I didn't. and don't think I forgot about the time we all played truth or dare and chan dared you to kiss me and you literally threw up from how repulsed you were by me. how could you possibly be in love with me? unless...you puked because you were nervous.." you said as you wiggled your eyebrows disturbingly. âalso what hell fanfiction do you read? why didnt i know about that?â
âEW!!!" he screams as he steps away from you, "AS IF YOU COULD EVER MAKE ME NERVOUS!"
â& the fanfiction? what do you read? come on, spill!â
âthat's none of your business.â
âseok-â
âbeyonce x reader.â it was almost as if he was dying to tell you.
the laugh you burst out only brings relief to seokmin, now he knows you're really okay. you've moved on, just angry at the audacity of them. âplease beyonce would never pick you.â you joked as you got up from the sofa. âcome on, be serious, this is serious stuff. I need a fake boyfriend.â
âask seungcheol.â seokmin answers easily without missing a beat, as if the answer was obvious.
âwhy seungcheol?â you heart raced at the mere idea of seungcheol being your date for the night, let alone boyfriend.
âbecauseâŠhe never says no to you. like ever,â he gives a brief, small smile before he turns to walk away. âoh and also, don't you think he'd fit the role perfectly?â
[â]
but that's what happens when seokmin plants the idea in your head, because you now find yourself in seungcheol's apartment.
you sit in seungcheolâs living room, heart pounding as you try to muster the courage to speak. heâs standing in front of you, arms crossed loosely over his broad chest, looking at you with his usual gentle, patient expression. but somehow, today, that patience makes your nerves worse. youâre not sure why youâre suddenly so embarrassed; maybe itâs the way his dark eyes seem to search your face for any hint of whatâs coming.
âso⊠what did you want to ask me?â he prompts, his voice warm and inviting, though thereâs a hint of curiosity lurking beneath it.
you swallow, your palms damp. âyou can totally say no if you want to, thereâs no pressure at all but um-â
seungcheolâs eyebrows furrow at your hesitation, âyouâre making me nervous,â he jokes, though thereâs a genuine note of concern in his eyes. âwhatâs going on?â
you inhale deeply, avoiding his gaze as you force the words out. âso, i got this wedding invite. fromâŠmy ex.â you donât have to elaborate for seungcheol to know which ex you mean. his jaw tightens almost imperceptibly, a flash of something dark passing over his expression before he smooths it out.
âhan minjun,â he says, and the way he says the name makes it sound like a curse. his hands uncross, one clenching the back of a chair as he leans into it. âare you⊠are you okay?â
âyeah,â you say quickly, âiâm okay, really. justâŠit's in two weeks, and heâs marrying the girl heââ you stop yourself before the floodgate of bad memories start flowing. you look up at seungcheol, feeling your face grow warm. âanyway, thatâs not the point. the point isâŠi need a date.â
seungcheolâs eyes soften, his tension melting away just a bit. âoh,â he says, and a smile tugs at his lips in realization, âyou want me to be your date?â
âyes. i mean-â you fidget with the hem of your shirt. âonly if youâre okay with it. you donât have to-â
âof course,â he interrupts, his answer immediate, his voice firm. âif itâs for that, thereâs no way iâd say no.â his protective instincts flare up at the mere thought of you facing your ex alone, and he wants to be there for you, to shield you from any pain that might resurface.
you feel relief wash over you, but then the real request lodges itself in your throat. you take a deep breath. âbut⊠not just as a date,â you say quietly. âi need⊠i need a fake boyfriend. i canât just show up to his weddingâŠsingle.â
seungcheol blinks, and for a moment, he thinks youâre joking. you watch as his expression shifts, surprise giving way to something more complicated. his smile falters, and his eyes search yours for any hint of hesitation, or a joke even. any indication that you might realize what this could mean for him.
a fake boyfriend. the words echo in his mind, and his heart aches, even as he tries to keep his face neutral. heâs spent the past 3 years hiding his feelings, protecting your friendship, waiting for a moment that never seemed to come. and now, here you are, asking him to pretend.
âa fake boyfriend,â he repeats, and his voice is steady, but thereâs a hint of something broken underneath. he canât help but imagine what itâll be like to hold your hand, to smile at you, to pretend to be the one who gets to loves you openlyâŠonly to have it all stripped away when the charade is over. he knows heâs setting himself up for heartbreak, but how can he say no to you? how could he ever refuse you when you look at him like that?
âcheol?â you ask hesitantly, noticing his pause. âis that⊠is that too much to ask? iâm sorry, itâs just-â
he shakes his head quickly, forcing a smile that doesnât quite reach his eyes. âno, itâs not too much,â he says softly. âif thatâs what you need, then⊠iâll do it.â
âreally?â your eyes light up with hope, and he wishes he could bottle up the way you look at him, keep it forever.
âreally,â he confirms, even though his heart is already starting to fracture. he pushes down the longing, the desperate yearning to be more than just a fake. because he knows this is all heâll getâa bittersweet taste of something he canât truly have. but for now, heâll take what he can get. even if it means breaking his own heart for the chance to be close to you.
[â]
ârules. we need rules. oh and boundaries. just to be safe, you know? not make it weird.â you informed as you pick up a piece of blank paper & pen from your desk before jumping onto bed.
seungcheol lies on his stomach on your bed as he waits for you, âwhat kind of rules and boundaries do you have in mind?â he asks.
âwell for one, no falling in love. like, we both have to promise that this stays strictly pretend. we canât let it mess with our friendship.â
for a moment, silence fills the room. when you glance at seungcheol, his expression is unreadable. âno falling in love,â he repeats quietly, his voice almost too steady. you donât notice the way his jaw tightens, the way he clenches his fist against the sheets.
you give him a nervous smile. âexactly. we both need to agree to that.â
âright,â he says, his voice softer now. âno falling in love.â he repeats louder this time, his heart aches at the irony, because if only you knew how deeply heâs already fallen. but he forces himself to nod, to play along, to act like he isnât breaking the very first rule you laid out just by being here. âany other rules?â
âum, yeah,â you continue, scribbling your next point onto the paper. âokay,â you say, oblivious to the turmoil in his chest. âit has to be believable. like, no half-assing it. if weâre going to do this, we have to commit. but, uh, within reason, of course.â
seungcheol chuckles at that, the sound breaking through the tension. âwithin reason?â he echoes, his smile genuine this time.
âyeah, nothing tooâŠ.much,â
â& what exactly is too much?â
âkisses,â you answer without missing a beat.
seungcheol smiles, "so, i canât kiss you, even if itâs just for an act?"
you pause, thinking over his question. the way he says it, so casual yet so heavy, sends a shiver down your spine. âi mean⊠kisses are too intimate. that crosses the line.â you say, hoping your voice doesnât betray how nervous the thought of kissing him makes you.
seungcheol watches you closely, a faint smile tugging at his lips. âtoo intimate?â he repeats, almost teasingly, but thereâs something more in his eyes, something you canât quite place. âbut arenât we supposed to look like weâre really together? wonât people think itâs suspicious if we⊠donât at least pretend that weâre comfortable with that?â
âno oneâs expecting a porno of us making out,â you argue, your cheeks warming at the implication. what a poor choice of words. âhand-holding, hugs, maybe a forehead or a cheek kiss if weâre feeling bold. but anything beyond thatâŠâ you trail off, your mind spinning and butterflies threatening to invade your tummy at the thought of seungcheolâs lips anywhere near yours.
he hums thoughtfully, propping his chin on his hand. âso, kisses are off the table. got it,â he says, though thereâs a hint of disappointment in his voice that you dont pick up. âany other rules?â
âthat's all i can think of for now, what about you? anything you dont want me to do? anything to add?â you ask.
âno, I'll do whatever you want me to.â he says, a mixture of fondness and longing swirling in his chest.
âokay, i guess we're really doing this huh?â you ask as you feel some tension leave your body.
âyeah,â he murmurs, even as his heart screams at the unfairness of it all. if only you knew just how real it already was for him.
[â]
âdid you actually really ask seungcheol to be your fake boyfriend?â seungkwan questions, taking another sip from his iced americano, his eyes narrowing at you suspiciously.
you sigh, pressing your palms to your face. âhow did you even find out about that?â
âseokmin told me. now answer me! did you actually?â seungkwan presses, his tone both exasperated and concerned. heâs your best friend. he knows every secret, every late-night confession, and every tear youâve ever shed over seungcheol.
you glance away, fiddling with the hem of your sleeve. âyeah... i did,â you admit softly.
seungkwan lets out a small groan, leaning back in his seat. heâs silent for a moment, and you can feel the weight of his judgment hanging between you. but thereâs something else there, too. something heavier, deeper. regret, maybe.
four years ago, you were a helpless mess, pinning after seungcheol like a lovesick fool. seungkwan remembered the way youâd light up whenever seungcheol was around, the way your laughter sounded a little brighter, your smile a little wider. and he remembered the way seungcheol seemed oblivious, never showing a sign of returning your feelings.
seungkwan had wanted to help you. heâd been desperate to see you happy, to save you from the heartache that came from unrequited love. so heâd done the only thing he could think of at the time: heâd set you up with someone else.
âdo you remember when i introduced you to minjun?â seungkwan asks, his voice suddenly quieter, more somber.
you blink, caught off guard by the question. âof course i do,â you reply. how could you forget? youâd been resistant at first, clinging to the faint hope that seungcheol would notice you one day. but seungkwan had been insistent. heâd told you that minjun was a good guy, someone who could make you happy, someone who could help you move on.
âyou were so against it,â seungkwan recalls, his lips curving into a wistful smile. âbut you finally agreed, and... well, you actually hit it off.â
a small laugh escapes your lips, though it lacks any real humor. âyeah. we did.â
for a while, dating han minjun had felt like a breath of fresh air. he was charming, thoughtful, and everything you thought you needed. for a moment, youâd even believed youâd moved on from seungcheol. but now, years later, here you were again, tangled up in your feelings for him, pretending to date him, no less.
seungkwanâs expression softens as he looks at you. âyou know, i really did think minjun was a good guy back then. i just... i didnât want to see you hurt anymore.â his voice wavers, and you can tell he feels guilty, even if it wasnât his fault that things turned out this way.
âi know,â you murmur. âyou were just trying to help.â
seungkwan sighs, setting his juice box down. âbut now youâre back to seungcheol, except this time itâs... fake. and that worries me.â
your throat tightens, and you donât know how to explain that being with seungcheol, even if itâs just for show, feels better than being with anyone else. even if it hurts a little. or maybe a lot.
âitâs complicated,â you whisper, but seungkwan isnât satisfied. his eyes bore into yours, filled with worry and protectiveness, like heâs already bracing for the heartbreak heâs sure is coming.
[â]
âdo you think we should pick something that matches or just, you know, kind of goes together?â you ask, sifting through rows of dresses, your fingers brushing over various shades of fabric.
seungcheol tries to focus on the suits in front of him, but heâs barely listening, too distracted by the way your voice lilts at the end of your question. âhm?â he clears his throat, hoping you donât notice how heâs completely lost his train of thought. âyeah, matching is⊠good.â
you raise an eyebrow at him, a small smile playing on your lips. âthat didnât answer my question, cheol.â
he laughs nervously, scratching the back of his neck. âsorry. what was it again?â
âdo you want our outfits to match?â you repeat, holding up a dress. itâs a deep, elegant navy blue, and seungcheolâs heart does a weird little flip. âlike this one? itâs the same color as that suit youâre holding.â
seungcheol swallows hard, imagining the two of you side by side, perfectly coordinated, like a couple in a fairytale. he tries to shake the thought away. âyeah, thatâs⊠perfect,â he says, his voice coming out softer than he intended.
you seem satisfied with his answer, disappearing into the dressing room to try it on. seungcheol stands there, shifting his weight from foot to foot, heart pounding for no reason he can justify. heâs known you for years, been by your side for countless moments, but something about thisâthe idea of the two of you dressed up together, the way you trusted his opinionâfeels different, it makes his heart race.
âcheol?â your voice pulls him out of his thoughts, and he looks up, his breath catching in his throat as you step out of the dressing room.
heâs not prepared for the sight. you look⊠breathtaking, the dress fitting you in a way that leaves him momentarily stunned. his eyes widen, and he opens his mouth to say something, but no words come out. itâs like heâs forgotten how to speak.
you tilt your head, concern flickering in your eyes. âis it bad?â
âno!â he blurts out, voice cracking embarrassingly. he clears his throat again; surprised at his own voice, his cheeks burning. âno, you lookââ he stammers, searching for the right words, his mind a complete mess. but then, he smiles his boyish smile, his dimples dipping more than they usually do & says âgod, you look⊠beautiful. really beautiful.â
you blink, taken aback, and seungcheol swears he sees your cheeks flush a little. heâs painfully aware of how warm his own face feels, how his hands are suddenly clammy.
âthank you,â you say, your voice softer now. you look at him, eyes wide and earnest, and seungcheol canât handle it. he has to look away, but not before he sees the small smile spreading across your face.
he fiddles with the cuff of his suit jacket, trying to regain some semblance of composure. âyou⊠you really think this is the one?â he asks, his voice cracking again. he winces.
you nod, your smile growing. âi think itâs perfect. but⊠what about your suit?â
heâs still trying to recover from seeing you in that dress, but he manages to nod. âright, my suit,â he says, forcing himself to focus. âiâll go try it on.â
you sit down on a bench, and seungcheol practically sprints to the fitting room, his heart pounding. he stares at his reflection as he pulls on the navy suit jacket, trying to breathe. he looks like a mess, his hair sticking up from how many times heâs run his hands through it, his face still red.
âcome on, cheol,â he mutters to himself. âget it together.â
when he finally steps out, he catches the way your eyes light up, the way you look him over and nod approvingly. âthatâs perfect,â you say, and his heart does that stupid flip again. âweâll look great together.â
he laughs, but itâs a weak attempt to hide how fast his heart is racing. âyeah. we will.â the words come out before he can stop them; even he knows he sounds completely & irrevocably smitten but he canât help it, not when youâre looking at him like that.
[â]
âso, did you say yes to being her date?â seokmin asked casually, thumbs tapping furiously at the controller in his hands as he and seungcheol tried to hold their ground in the game. âyou know, her fake boyfriend and all that?â
seungcheolâs fingers faltered on the buttons for a split second, and he shot seokmin a glare. âyah, focus on the game, we can't lose,â he grumbled, feeling his face heat up. but, of course, seokmin had to bring it up now.
âwait, what?â wonwooâs attention snapped away from the screen, his character on the verge of getting attacked. he gawked at seungcheol. âwhen did this happen? and why didnât you tell us?â
soonyoungâs eyes widened, and his character in the game momentarily stood still. âhold on, hold on,â he said, nearly dropping his controller in shock. âhyung, youâre telling us you agreed to be her date and fake boyfriend, and weâre only hearing about this now?â
âcan we not talk about this?â seungcheol muttered, trying to refocus on the game, but his heart was racing. the way his stomach twisted at the mention of you and the fake dating arrangement wasnât something he wanted to discussâespecially not with his friends teasing him about it.
âabsolutely not,â soonyoung protested, his competitive spirit momentarily forgotten. âthis is big news, hyung! you have to spill.â
âyeah, seungcheol,â wonwoo added, a sly grin spreading across his face. âwhy didnât you tell us? donât act like itâs not a huge deal.â
seungcheol sighed, his shoulders tensing as he kept his eyes on the screen. âbecause itâs not a big deal, its only for a day anyway,â he insisted, but even he could hear the strain in his voice.
âyouâre so full of it,â wonwoo said, barely holding back a laugh. âyou've been in love with her for god knows how long, now you agreed to be her date and pretend to be her boyfriend. how is that not a big deal?â
unfortunately, soonyoung & wonwoo, have possession over seungcheol's not so secret, secret. but really, everyone knows, it's only a secret to you, seungkwan & seokmin although seokmin has been starting to catch on for the past few months. everyone else has miraculously managed to somehow keep their mouth shut around seokmin and seungkwan for 3 years; knowing how close you are with the two of them. I guess in a way you could say the boys are loyal to him? anyways.
seungcheolâs grip on his controller tightened. âcan we just focus on winning?â he pleaded, desperate to change the subject, but his friendsâ curiosity was palpable.
âfine,â soonyoung said with an exaggerated sigh. âbut weâre coming back to this later.â
just as seungcheol was about to let out a breath of relief, the sound of the front door opening made his heart stutter, and he turned his head, unable to help himself. you stepped into the apartment, bags in hand, looking slightly windswept but effortlessly beautiful.
âhey, iâm home!â you greeted, smiling at everyone.
seungcheolâs mind blanked, his focus slipping away entirely as he took you in. he barely registered seokminâs frantic warningââhyung, watch out!ââbefore his character was obliterated in the game.
âyes!â soonyoung cheered, throwing his hands in the air. âwe won, wonwoo!â
wonwoo leaned back with a smug smile, âthank you,â he said, looking over at you.
you blinked, confused. âme? what did i do?â
wonwooâs eyes glinted with mischief. âitâs nothing you need to know⊠yet,â he replied, his voice teasing, and he shot you a knowing smile. âbut thank you anyway.â
you tilted your head, clearly still confused, but you shrugged it off. âokay, if you say so,â you said, heading down the hall. âiâm gonna go take a quick shower.â
seungcheol watched you disappear, his shoulders slumping as he realized just how badly heâd let himself get distracted. he could feel the heat rising to his face, embarrassment and longing twisting in his chest.
seungcheol couldn't let it show. or at least, he thought he didnât. he tried to play it cool, act normal around you, and pretend that his heart didnât stutter every time you called his name. but apparently, seokmin noticed.
âyouâve got that look again,â seokmin pointed out, a teasing lilt in his voice.
seungcheol turned to find seokmin leaning against the backrest of the sofa, a grin spreading across his face. he blinked, feigning ignorance. âwhat look?â
âyou know,â seokmin drawled, pushing himself off the backrest to lean closer to seungcheol âthat look you get when sheâs around.â
seungcheol felt his pulse skip, an uncomfortable warmth creeping up his neck. he avoided seokminâs eyes, choosing instead to stare at the floor. âi donât know what youâre talking about,â he muttered, hoping his voice sounded steady.
âsure you donât.â seokmin plopped down beside him, elbow nudging his ribs. âcâmon, hyung. youâre not exactly subtle.â
seungcheol rubbed the back of his neck, a nervous habit he couldnât seem to shake. âitâs not like that,â he insisted, though even he knew how unconvincing he sounded.
seokmin raised an eyebrow. âreally?â he asked, voice softening. âbecause the way you look at herâŠyou look at her like you'd burn down the whole world for her.â
seungcheolâs throat tightened, and he pressed his lips together, finally meeting seokminâs gaze. there was no judgment there, only curiosity and a quiet sort of understanding.
âi didnât mean to,â seungcheol admitted, voice barely above a whisper. âit just⊠happened.â
seokminâs smile was gentle now, the teasing gone. âand what are you gonna do about it?â
seungcheolâs hands fisted the fabric of his shirt, a sense of helplessness washing over him. ânothing,â he said, bitterness seeping into the word. âsheâs too important. if i mess this up⊠i canât lose her.â
seokmin studied him for a moment, the silence stretching between them. âbut what if you donât lose her?â he said quietly. âwhat if she feels the same way?â
seungcheolâs heart twisted painfully. the thought had crossed his mind more times than he could count, but he always pushed it away, too afraid to hope. âand what if she doesnât?â he countered, his voice breaking. âiâd rather be close to her like this than lose everything.â
seokmin sighed, leaning back on his hands. âi get it,â he murmured. âbut you canât live your whole life being afraid. sometimes, youâve got to take the risk.â
seungcheol let out a humorless laugh. âeasy for you to say,â he mumbled, but his chest felt a little lighter, the weight of his secret shared, even if just for a moment.
seokminâs smile returned, playful once more. âhey, iâm rooting for you,â he said, clapping a hand on seungcheolâs shoulder. âbut seriously, the way you look at her⊠itâs gonna give you away one day.â
seungcheol swallowed, a smile tugging at his lips despite himself. âmaybe,â he whispered. âbut not today.â
seokmin grinned, standing up and offering a hand to pull seungcheol to his feet. âwell, just know iâll be there to say âi told you soâ when it happens.â
seungcheol took his hand, rising to his feet. âyeah, yeah,â he said, but his heart felt a little less heavy & a lot more hopeful.
[â]
seungcheol stood outside your bedroom door with seokmin, heart pounding as he took a steadying breath. it wasnât the first time he was picking you up, but today felt different. maybe it was the gravity of the wedding you were attending, or maybe it was the fact that this arrangement had slowly become more real for him than he ever dared admit.
âhyung, you okay?â seokmin asked, glancing at him curiously.
seungcheol blinked, snapping out of his reverie. âyeah,â he lied, his voice sounding far more confident than he felt. âletâs justâŠget this over with.â he lied, it hasn't even started yet but he doesnt want it to end.
seokmin gave him a sorry look but said nothing, and before seungcheol could dwell on it, you opened the door to your room. his breath caught in his throat, and for a moment, he forgot how to speak. you stood there, radiant in a simple yet elegant dress, hair styled perfectly, eyes sparkling with nervous anticipation.
he was so down bad for you, it was almost pathetic.
he couldn't help the boyish smile that adorned his face, âyou look⊠beautiful.â he didnât trust himself to say more, afraid that if he did, the truth would come spilling out.
a faint blush dusted your cheeks, and you smiled, the kind of smile that made his heart feel like it was doing somersaults. âthanks, cheol,â you said shyly, adjusting your dress. âyou clean up pretty well yourself.
he let out a laugh, hoping it masked the way his pulse was racing. âyou ready?â he asked, extending his hand to you. âour grand entrance awaits.â
you hesitated for the briefest moment, but then you slipped your hand into his, and he had to fight the urge to hold on tighter, to pull you closer and never let go. he couldnât, of course. this was all an act. just a performance to keep up appearances, to help you save face in front of your ex and everyone else.
but god, how he wished it were real.
[â]
the car ride was quiet at first, the only sound being the hum of the engine and the soft music playing from the radio. seungcheol couldnât help but glance at you every few seconds, noting the way your fingers fidgeted with the hem of your dress. he knew you well enough to recognize the signs of your anxiety, and his chest tightened.
âhey,â he said gently, reaching over to take your hand in his. your eyes widened in surprise, but you dont pull away. instead, you stared at your intertwined fingers, and he wondered if you could feel his heart pounding.
âare you okay?â he asked, his voice softer now, more careful. âif youâre not, we can turn around. we donât have to go.â
you shook your head, a small, determined smile forming on your lips. âiâm fine,â you whispered. âitâs just⊠weird, you know? seeing him get married.â
seungcheol swallowed, a lump forming in his throat. he hated that minjun hurt you and how he couldnât do anything but hold your hand and hope it was enough.
âif you want to leave at any point,â he said, squeezing your hand gently, âjust say the word. iâll get you out of there, no questions asked.â
you looked at him then, really looked at him, and he felt like he was being laid bare under your gaze, your eyes boring into his. âthank you, cheol,â you murmured, and your voice cracked just a little. âi donât know what iâd do without you.â
his chest ached, a mix of longing and fear swirling inside him. he wanted to tell you that heâd always be there, that heâd never leave, but he didnât. instead, he settled for rubbing soft circles into the back of your hand with his thumb, hoping you couldnât feel how badly he was trembling.
the silence in the car was comfortable, but electric, charged with something unspoken. the way your shoulders relaxed under his touch, the way your breathing evened out as he held your handâit was almost enough to make him believe that you felt the same way.
but that was dangerous territory, and seungcheol knew better than to get his hopes up.
âyou know,â he said lightly, trying to steer his thoughts away from the ache in his chest, âyouâre kind of incredible. not everyone could handle a situation like this with so much grace.â
you laughed, the sound soft and a little self-deprecating. âi donât know about that or this grace you speak of,â you said. âiâm still trying to convince myself not to run away.â
âif you run,â he said, a teasing grin tugging at his lips, âiâll run with you. we can both escape and go somewhere far away. just the two of us.â
the joke made you laugh, but there was a wistful note to it, and seungcheol had to look away to keep himself from saying something stupid. his heart was a mess, pounding wildly with every word, every touch, every second he spent in your presence.
âthanks, cheol,â you said again, your voice quieter now. âreally. iâm so lucky to have you.â
seungcheol drove on, your hand still in his, hoping that this moment would last a little longer.
[â]
the wedding had gone off without a hitch, at least on the surface. the vows had been exchanged, laughter and applause filling the air, and now the reception was in full swing. seungcheol had been trying his best to stay close to you, to keep you from feeling the weight of the memories this day might bring. but as he returned with your drinks, he froze.
there you were, standing stiffly, looking more tense than heâd seen you all night. and, of course, minjun was in front of you, a smile that didnât quite reach his eyes as he leaned in, saying something seungcheol couldnât quite hear. your polite smile was brittle, your shoulders tense, and anger flared in his chest.
he forced himself to take a calming breath before approaching, setting your drinks down on a nearby table and stepping in between you & minjun, âhey,â he said smoothly, his voice calm but firm. âeverything okay here?â
your eyes darted to him, a flicker of relief crossing your face. you tried to smile, but it wavered. âyeah,â you said, your voice a little too tight. âwe were just⊠talking.â
minjun glanced at seungcheol, an eyebrow arching. âseungcheol?â he asked, a smug smile playing on his lips. âfancy seeing you here, i dont remember including you in the invite?â he quirked an eyebrow.
you opened your mouth, your voice coming out steadier this time. âactually, he's my plus one, since we're dating.â
âdating? as in, he's your boyfriend?â minjun asked as he sneaked a glance at seungcheol.
âyes, actually.â your words sent your stomach doing flips.
the disbelief on minjunâs face was palpable. he snorted, his gaze flicking between the two of you as if youâd just told a joke. âboyfriend? really?â he smirked, clearly unconvinced. âcome on. thatâs a little desperate, donât you think?â minjun tries to reach for your hand.
before you could react, seungcheol stepped forward, his hand moving to reach for yours protectively; staking his claim. âi donât think your wife,â he said, emphasizing the word with a hint of sarcasm, âwould appreciate you making my girlfriend uncomfortable.â
minjunâs smile faltered, but he didnât back down. âprove it,â he challenged, crossing his arms. âyou really expect me to believe this⊠whatever this is?â
seungcheolâs jaw clenched. âwe donât need to prove anything to you,â he said, his voice low and controlled. â& you certainly don't have the right to ask for anything, much less a proof, not after all the shit youâve done.â
minjunâs expression soured, but before he could respond, seungcheol turned to you, his eyes softening. âcome on, pretty,â he murmured, his voice gentle and eyes earnest,. âdance with me?â
you stomach did somersaults, seungcheol watches you intently, he watches the way your expression melts into a grateful smile. you leaned in close and pressed a soft kiss to his cheek. âthank you,â you whispered, so quietly he barely heard it.
his heart stuttered in his chest, warmth flooding through him. but he forced himself to push the feeling away, to remind himself that this was all for show. you were only doing this because minjun was watching, because you needed to keep up the pretense. there was no way you actually meant that kiss, no way you felt the same fluttering in your chest that he did.
but he couldnât help the way his heart betrayed him, the way his entire body seemed to light up at the simple touch of your lips on his skin. he swallowed, hoping you didnât notice the way his cheeks flushed, and offered you his hand.
âletâs go,â you said, taking his hand, your smile genuine and warm.
the music had shifted to a slow song, and seungcheol led you onto the dance floor, his fingers still intertwined with yours. his heart was pounding, his mind racing, but he tried to focus on you, on the way you were looking at him now, your eyes so full of trust and something he couldnât quite place.
âthank you,â you said again, your voice a little steadier this time.
he gave you a small smile, trying to keep his emotions in check. âiâll always be here for you,â he said, his voice soft. âyou know that, right?â
you nodded, your gaze flickering down to where his hand rested on your waist. âi do,â you whispered, and for a moment, he thought he saw something more in your eyes. something he desperately wanted to believe in.
seungcheol tried to ignore the way your body fit so perfectly against his, the way your smile sent his heart racing. he couldnât let himself read too much into the way you were looking at him.
but it was so, so hard.
âcheol,â you said suddenly, pulling back just enough to look up at him. âcan i ask you something?â
he swallowed, his throat dry. âof course.â
âwhy did you say yes?â you asked, your voice hesitant. âto being my date and⊠pretending to be my boyfriend?â
his breath caught in his throat. he hadnât expected that question, and he wasnât sure how to answer without giving himself away. âbecause you needed me to,â he said finally, and it was the truth, even if it wasnât the whole truth. âand iâd do anything for you.â
your eyes softened, and he wondered if you could see right through him, if you knew just how badly he was hurting, just how desperately he wanted this to be real.
âyouâre too good to me,â you whispered.
he shook his head, a sad smile tugging at his lips. âno,â he said. âiâm just⊠selfish.â
you tilted your head, confused. âselfish?â
he opened his mouth, then closed it, the words dying on his tongue. he couldnât tell you. he couldnât ruin this. ânever mind,â he said, forcing a laugh. âjust⊠ignore me.â
but you didnât. your gaze lingered on him, searching, and he had to look away before he did something stupid, like confess right then and there.
âcheol,â you said, your voice so soft it made his heart ache. âwhat are you hiding?â
ânothing,â he lied, pulling you a little closer, trying to focus on the music instead of the way your eyes were looking right into his soul. âiâm not hiding anything.â
but he was. he was hiding everything. the way he loved you, the way he wanted you, the way heâd give anything to be more thanâŠthis.
âokay,â you said finally, but he could hear the doubt in your voice. âif you say so.â
âyou know,â he said as he let out a small sigh, his voice barely above a whisper, âyou didnât have to kiss my cheek just now. not for minjunâs sake, anyway.â
you tilted your head, looking up at him with wide eyes. âi didnât do it for him,â you said quietly as seungcheol watches your eyes sparkle and dilate, for a moment, he forgot how to breathe.
âthen⊠why?â he asked, his voice cracking slightly.
your gaze searching his face. âjust because.. i wanted to.â
seungcheolâs mind went blank, his heart pounding so loudly he was sure you could hear it. he didnât know what to say, didnât know how to process the sudden, overwhelming rush of hope that filled his chest.Â
âshould we call it a night?â you asked, your voice gentle as you turned to seungcheol, who still seemed lost in thought. you werenât sure if it was because of the way you had kissed his cheek earlier or if he was still worried about you, but his expression had been hard to read.
seungcheol blinked, snapping out of whatever daze he had been in. âyeah,â he said, nodding slowly. âletâs head home. but, uh, let me hit the bathroom real quick first?â
you nodded, offering him a small smile. âiâll wait by the entrance.â
he nodded back, his eyes lingering on you a moment longer before he turned and made his way to the restroom. as he walked, he felt his heart racing, the memory of your soft kiss on his cheek replaying in his mind. youâd said it was just because you wanted to, but that couldnât mean anything... right?
 seungcheol washed his hands, letting the cool water calm him down. he took a deep breath, trying to gather his scattered thoughts. he doesn't really want this night to end, he's not ready for that yet.
but thatâs when he heard it: voices coming from one of the stalls, low but loud enough to catch his attention.
âman, i still canât believe you're actually married,â one voice said, a hint of mockery in his tone. âand only because you got her pregnant. how the hell did you screw up that bad?â
what the hell? seungcheolâs jaw clenched, but he forced himself to stay quiet, listening.
âdonât remind me,â minjunâs familiar voice replied. âi know, okay? itâs not like i love her or anything. but i couldnât just bail, you know? had to do the right thing, i guess.â
the right thing? seungcheol thinks to himself, yet cheating on you is okay?
the friend laughed, a harsh, grating sound. âstill, hannaâs nothing compared to your ex. that girl is so much hotter than your wife. you shouldâve stayed with her.â
seungcheolâs grip on the sink tightened, his knuckles going white.
âhey, i made a mistake,â minjun grumbled, clearly defensive. âshe really is hot. i was just thinking with my other head back then, okay?â
âyeah, well,â his friend drawled, âi wouldâve made a move on her tonight if she hadnât walked in with that new boyfriend of hers. whatâs his name again? seungcheol or something?â
âyeah, well, i tried to,â minjun admitted, and seungcheol could practically hear the smirk in his voice. âbut he showed up before i could.â
âdid you see the dress she was wearing?â minjun laughed as he added, âshe's got such a killer bodyâŠbet I could make her cheat on that boyfriend of hers, what do you say? 50 bucks? bet on it?â
that was it. the final straw. anger flared hot and fierce in seungcheolâs chest, and before he knew it, he was storming over to the stall. he yanked the door open, and the look of shock on both menâs faces did nothing to quell his rage.
âwhat the fuck did you say? you think you can talk about her like that?â seungcheol growled, his voice low and dangerous. âafter everything youâve done?â
minjun barely had time to react before seungcheolâs fist connected with his jaw. the fight was quick, brutal, and messy, with fists flying and the sound of grunts echoing off the bathroom walls. seungcheol didnât care about the pain in his knuckles or the way his cheek throbbed from a poorly blocked punch. all he cared about was defending your honor, protecting you from these men who had no right to even think about you, let alone look in your direction.
when seungcheol finally left the bathroom, his heart was still racing, adrenaline coursing through his veins. his cheeks were slightly bloodied and his knuckles were bruised.
but before he could reach the entrance to get to you, someone grabbed his arm. he turned, only to see hanna, minjunâs wife, looking at him with wide, concerned eyes. âoh my god,â she gasped, her hands flying to her mouth. âwhat happened to you?â
at first, she seemed genuinely worried, but then her eyes raked over him, and her concern twisted into something more flirtatious. she reached out, her hands brushing against his arms. âyou look so hot like this with all the bruises,â she whispered, her fingers trailing down his biceps.
seungcheol stiffened, every nerve in his body screaming for him to pull away. âdon't,â he held a hand up, âi have a girlfriend,â he said firmly, stepping back. he glanced around, hoping you hadnât seen any of this.
but you had. your eyes had caught sight of the scene, the way hanna's hands lingered on seungcheolâs arms, and your stomach twisted painfully. you didnât understand why it hurt so much to see it, why your heart felt heavy and your chest ached. this was seungcheol, your good friend. youâd moved on from this heartbreak years ago... right?
you tore your gaze away, your mind spinning. you couldnât deny the pang of jealousy, the way your pulse quickened at the sight of him with someone else, but it made no sense. seungcheol was just your friend. nothing more.
when seungcheol finally made his way over to you, unaware that you saw him & hanna, was careful not to mention it or the fight that happened. instead, he focused on the gossip heâd overheard in the bathroom. âhey,â he said, his voice gentle, âdid you know?â
you barely registered his words, your mind still replaying the image of hanna's hands on his arms. your chest felt tight, and you couldnât explain why.
âapparently,â seungcheol continued, âthis whole wedding is a shotgun marriage. sheâs pregnant, and thatâs why theyâre doing all this.â he paused, searching your face for any reaction, but you werenât really hearing him.
âhuh?â you finally said, blinking as you came back to the present. your eyes widened when you took in his bruised knuckles and the cut on his cheek. âoh my god, seungcheol. what happened to you?â
âdid you hear anything of what i just said?â he asked, a mixture of frustration and worry in his voice.
you glared at him, your concern overshadowing everything else. âno, but iâm sure itâs nowhere near as important as this,â you snapped, gesturing to his bruised face and bloodied hands.
seungcheol sighed, his shoulders slumping. âitâs nothing,â he insisted, but he knew you wouldnât let it go. not when you looked at him with so much worry, so much care, and it made his heart ache.
ânothing?â the depth of your furrowed brows going deeper, âyou're bleeding, cheol.â your tone angry. âcome on,â you said, your voice softening. âiâm taking you back to my place. i need to take care of those wounds.â
he tried to protest, but you wouldnât hear it. âplease, cheol,â you whispered, and the way you said his name made his heart stutter. he wanted so badly to believe that you cared, that this wasnât just about him being your friend.
âfine,â he relented, his voice barely above a whisper. âbut only because youâre so stubborn.â
you gave him a small, relieved smile, and he felt his resolve weaken even more.
back at your apartment, you lead seungcheol to the bathroom, rummaging through the first aid kit with a determined focus. he sits on the edge of the bathtub, watching you with a mixture of awe and longing. itâs overwhelming how gentle you are with him, the way your fingers tremble slightly as you gather supplies to tend to his wounds. he wants to believe this moment means something more than simple concern for a friend, that the tenderness in your gaze holds feelings heâs been longing to hear you speak out loud.
âdoes it hurt?â you ask, your voice barely above a whisper as you dab a damp cloth against the cut on his cheek, your touch feather-light.
âno,â he says, his gaze never wavering from your face. the sting is nothing compared to the ache of wanting you. his heart pounds relentlessly, each beat echoing the longing heâs kept hidden for so long.
you move to bandage his knuckles, your fingers lingering on his for just a moment longer than necessary. âyouâre so reckless,â you murmur, but your tone is soft, carrying nothing but worry.
he swallows, throat tight. âi couldnât stand hearing them talk about you like that,â he admits, the words escaping before he can second-guess them.
your hands freeze. you look up at him, brows furrowing in confusion. âwhat do you mean?â
he hesitates, regret mingling with vulnerability, wanting to tell you everything but afraid of what might come next. âjust... they were saying things they shouldnât,â he settles on, the explanation falling flat compared to the storm raging inside him. âi couldnât let it go.â
the bathroom feels smaller, the air thicker. you lean in closer, a wrinkle of worry creasing your forehead. âseungcheolâŠâ
his hand lifts before he can stop it, and his fingers brush your cheek, gentle and unsure. âi just want to keep you safe,â he whispers, voice cracking, heart lodged in his throat. âeven if it means getting a little bruised up.â
youâre so close now that your breath mingles with his, warm and intoxicating. your chest tightens, and something inside you shifts. you canât tell if itâs the tenderness in his voice or the way his eyes seem to hold a secret youâve always yearned to know. you feel your pulse spike, your mind racing. all the feelings youâve tried so hard to bury come rushing back with an intensity that scares you.
you kneel in front of him, biting back the realization that you never really moved on, that you never truly stopped loving him. your feelings have been buried, but they resurface now, raw and undeniable, and you canât pretend anymore.
âtonight was...a lot,â seungcheol says quietly, breaking the heavy silence. his eyes search yours, trying to make sense of the tension thick in the room.
you nod, hands trembling slightly as you pull back, though not far enough to break the spell. âyeah,â you manage, voice unsteady. âit was.â
seungcheol watches you with a gaze so full of longing that it makes your heart ache. heâs proud of you, heâs always been proud of you, but the way heâs looking at you now is different. âyou were amazing,â he says, the sincerity in his voice making your breath catch. âthe way you handled everything⊠iâm so proud of you.â
his words break something inside of you, and before you know it, youâre leaning in, closing the distance. itâs an impulse, a mistake, but you just couldn't help yourself. your lips brush against his, and for a heartbeat, time stands still.
seungcheol freezes in shock, but then he responds. his hands fly to your waist, pulling you closer, and he kisses you back with a fervor that leaves you breathless. the tension snaps like a taut wire, replaced by a burst of passion, and everything youâve both kept buried pours out.
his fingers tighten around your waist, your hands finding their way into his hair, and you lose yourself in him. the way he tastes, the way he holds you, feels like a dream you donât want to wake from. your heart races as the kiss deepens, desperate and all-consuming.
but then reality crashes over you like a tidal wave. you pull back abruptly, breaking away, your eyes wide with shock and horror. seungcheol looks dazed, lips parted, hair slightly mussed from your hands, and the sight of him so undone because of you only makes the guilt worse.
âi-â you stammer, voice cracking as you scramble to your feet. âoh my god. iâm so sorry.â
âwait-â he begins, but youâre already moving, stumbling backward, cheeks flaming with embarrassment. âi shouldnât have⊠we promised we wouldnât-â
âitâs okay,â he tries to reassure you, his voice gentle yet laced with desperation. he stands, reaching for you, but you take another step back, your emotions spiraling.
âno,â you whisper, shaking your head, overwhelmed and terrified by the feelings that wonât stop crashing over you. âi ruined everything.â
you feel tears prick your eyes, your chest aching with regret and confusion. the kiss shattered the fragile balance between you, and you donât know how to piece it back together. âyou should go,â you manage, voice cracking. âits getting late,â your head starts feeling dizzy, âI'll call you tomorrow.âÂ
before seungcheol can argue, before he can make sense of the whirlwind between you, youâre gone. you rush out of the bathroom, heart hammering, not sure where to go but needing to escape. the apartment feels suffocating, your feelings too much to handle, and you slam your bedroom door behind you.
you lean against it, sliding down until youâre curled up on the floor, tears spilling down your cheeks. what have you done? you kissed seungcheol, and now everything is a mess. the love you never let yourself acknowledge burns bright, and it terrifies you.
in the bathroom, seungcheol stands frozen, the ghost of your kiss still lingering on his lips. heâs never felt more hopeless, more in love, and more afraid that heâs lost you forever. the echo of your apology rings in his ears, and he clenches his fists, wishing he could take away the hurt and confusion youâre feeling.
he tells himself heâll wait for you to call, but heâs terrified that this time, waiting might not be enough.
but still, seungcheol waits.Â
the days stretched on, each one feeling heavier than the last. it had been a week since the wedding, a week since that kiss had turned his world upside down, and still, there was no call from you. you had promised, but the days passed in silence. he wanted so bad to be the one reaching out, but he knows you well enough to know that it wouldnt end well, and that you needed your own time to process things. but he couldnât stop thinking about what had happened between you. each morning he woke up with a sliver of hope, a quiet, desperate wish that today would be the day you would reach out. but by every nightfall, the silence was all he had. the silence, and the ache that gnawed at him constantly.
he kept replaying that moment over and over in his mind, the feel of your lips on his, the way your eyes had searched his face afterward. the hope, the confusion, the raw vulnerabilityâit haunted him, leaving him restless and on edge. there was something about the way you pulled away from him, your apology spilling out in a rush, that made his heart ache. his own feelings were a mess, tangled up in things he hadnât fully understood until that kiss, much less you, right?
he tried to keep busy, to drown the thoughts that plagued him. the gym became his sanctuary, his second home, a place to work out the frustration, the ache in his chest. he lifted weights until his body screamed for rest, hoping that physical exhaustion would bring some peace. but no matter how much he tried to tire himself out, the ache remained, lurking at the edges of his mind, waiting for the quiet moments when it all came rushing back.
work was just a blur, the hours blending together as he went through the motions. he found himself distracted, staring at his phone more often than usual, his thumb hovering over your contact, only to put it down before he could hit send. what would he even say? what if you weren't ready yet & him reaching out only made things worse? what if you didnât even want to hear from him? what if his feelings were just a one-sided mess that heâd have to live with forever?
the days bled into one another, each one more unbearable than the last. he couldnât tell anyone how much he missed youâhow much he longed to hear your voice, to see you again, to figure out what all of this meant. so he kept it all inside, bottled up, carrying the weight of his emotions on his own. there were moments when he could feel it, the weight of his longing pressing on his chest, making it hard to breathe. he had tried to be patient, to give you space, but with each passing day, that patience was wearing thin.
he wondered if heâd done something wrong. had he misread the situation? had he pushed too far when he kissed you back? maybe you only kissed him because of the atmosphere or adrenaline or whatever? every time he thought about it, he felt sick. maybe you didnât feel the same way. maybe he had crossed a line, and now he was paying the price for it. the thought of you slipping further away from him was unbearable.
his phone sat on the coffee table, screen blank, mocking him with its silence. he had told himself heâd wait, that youâd reach out when you were ready, but the longer the silence stretched on, the harder it became to believe that. he wanted to hear your voice, to know that you werenât angry with him, to know that the kiss hadnât ruined everything between you. but instead, he sat in his apartment, surrounded by the deafening quiet.
& seungkwan? seungkwan had been on you about it for days.
"seriously, youâre just going to leave things like this?" seungkwan had said one morning, his eyes narrowing at you over his cup of coffee. "you kissed him. you kissed seungcheol hyung. and now youâre acting like it didnât happen. you think heâs not waiting for you to come around?"
you hadnât responded at first, unsure of how to even begin to process it. all you could think about was the kiss, and how everything felt so wrong and so right in that moment, and how now, in the aftermath, everything was a mess.
"youâve been so quiet about this. and itâs obvious to everyone. youâre both miserable. donât you get it?" seungkwan continued, his voice growing more insistent. "you canât just let it go, not after that. you owe it to yourself & especially to him to figure out what this is. what he is to you."
you had shaken your head, turning away, not wanting to face the truth. "i donât even know what it is. i donât know if iâ"
"youâre making it worse by not doing anything," he cut you off, his eyes narrowing. "stop running from it. just talk to him, okay? if you donât, youâre going to regret it."
you sighed heavily, sinking back into the couch. you had never been good at this kind of thing, especially when it came to feelings. but something in seungkwanâs words made you pause. the last thing you wanted was to regret anything.
"i donât know if i can," you murmured. "i donât know if heâll even want to talk to me after everything."
seungkwan rolled his eyes, crossing his arms. "stop thinking like that. he doesnât know what to do either, so youâre both stuck, waiting for the other to make a move. just go to him. get your act together."
before you could respond, the door to your apartment unlocks, interrupting your conversation, and there stood seokmin, looking far too cheerful for the somber mood that had settled over you.
"hey, whatâs going on in here?" he asked, stepping inside with his usual bright smile.
you shrugged, feeling the weight of seungkwanâs words pressing on your chest. "nothing much. just⊠thinking."
seungkwan immediately jumped in, as if he couldnât help himself. "you need to go talk to seungcheol. iâm so done waiting for this mess to sort itself out."
seokmin raised an eyebrow, a knowing look on his face. "ah," he crossed his arms, settling into the couch. "youâre still haven't called huh?"
"no," you admitted, your voice small. "i donât know what to say to him."
"yeah, well, youâre not the only one," seokmin said with a sigh, his tone softening. "but running away from it wonât solve anything. look, and you know what cheol's like. if you tell him you need space & time & that you'll call him, he's gonna listen & wait for you. heâs not going to make the first move until you do so go talk to him, okay? figure it out. or at least to put that guy out of his misery."
you nodded slowly, trying to take in his words. it wasnât that simple. it never was. but seokmin had a way of speaking to you that made you feel like maybe, you could take that first step.
seungkwan was still persistent, though. "seriously, iâm not letting you off the hook. you still love him after all these years, donât you?"
"i donât know," you said, your voice cracking. "i think i do, but i donât even know how to deal with even coming to terms that i like him. everythingâs so messed up. i kissed him, and now i⊠i donât know what to do with all of it."
seokmin looked at you with an almost knowing smile. "sometimes, things donât have to be figured out all at once. itâs okay to just⊠see what happens. go to him and talk. take it one step at a time."
seungkwan nodded eagerly, as if the suggestion had finally gotten through to you. "exactly. just go. trust me, youâre both miserable. just fix it."
the decision was made. somehow, someway, you had to go to him. you didnât know what you were going to say, or how you were going to fix everything that had gone wrong, but you knew you had to try. the thought of never knowing how he felt, or whether you had a chance, was unbearable.
it had been days since you last saw him. days since everything had spiraled. and now here you were, on the verge of either fixing things or making them worse. you stood frozen, unsure of what to do. your hands trembled slightly, and for the first time in a long while, you felt completely out of control.
you knocked softly, but the sound felt too loud in the quiet hallway. a few moments later, you heard the shuffle of footsteps from the other side, and your heart skipped a beat.
the door swung open, and seungcheol stood there, looking absolutely stunned to see you standing there. his eyes widened in confusion, and for a brief second, you both just stared at each other in silence.
he seemed to take a deep breath, as if bracing himself. "you⊠youâre here," he said quietly, almost as if he couldnât believe it. "are you⊠okay?"
you didnât know how to respond. you wanted to say so many things, but words felt like too much. you stood there, rooted to the spot, unable to form a coherent sentence. the silence stretched, and then he spoke again, his voice breaking the tension.
"come in," he said softly, stepping aside to let you in, but you didnât move. "did i⊠did i do something wrong? if i upset you, iâm sorry. i didnât mean to. i really didnât." his voice was strained, as if he was holding back something. "i know we agreed on the whole fake dating thing for just 1 night, and maybe i crossed a line. but i didnât mean to. i didnât mean to make things complicated. I.. I didnt mean to make you uncomfortable.â
he sounded so genuinely sorry, and that was the moment it hit youâseungcheol was just as lost as you were.
you swallowed, forcing yourself to step over the threshold. you walked inside, every part of you feeling as though you were making a decision you couldnât take back. the door clicked shut behind you, and you stood in the middle of the living room, unsure of what to do or say next.
he gestured toward the couch, but neither of you sat. there was a tension hanging between you two, something unsaid but felt in the air. you stayed there, frozen, trying to process your thoughts while he watched you, waiting for something.
he cleared his throat, his voice quieter now. "come sit, please," he said. "talk to me, please. is it something i did? i⊠i can't fix it if i dont know what i did wrong."
you shook your head slowly, still unable to find your words. you felt like a mess, and you could tell by his expression that he felt the same. the weight of everything that had happenedâthe kiss, the awkward distance between you two afterâwas hanging over you both.
finally, you spoke, your voice barely above a whisper. "itâs not your fault."
"what do you mean?" he asked, his brows furrowing in confusion, a mix of hope and worry in his gaze. "whatâs not my fault?"
"i kissed you," you muttered, the words coming out rushed, almost in a panic. "it was me. i shouldnât have done it. and iâm sorry."
he seemed taken aback, a flash of guilt crossing his face. "but⊠why? why did you kiss me?âÂ
you bit your lip, looking down at the floor, avoiding his eyes for a moment. "i donât know why," you admitted, the confession escaping before you could stop it. "i wasn't thinkingâŠi just⊠i was jealous. i saw hanna with you, and i couldnât stand it. i⊠i kissed you because of that, but now, iâm not sure if it was jealousy or because i like you."
seungcheolâs face softened, his eyes searching yours as if trying to make sense of it. "you were jealous?" his voice was barely audible, as if the question itself was too much to bear. his eyes were glossy, and his hands trembled slightly at his sides. he took a step closer, his voice breaking as he spoke. "you⊠you like me?"
you took in a deep breath, feeling the tears prick at the corners of your eyes. "i think so, i donât know..I'm not sure but i donât want to lose you over a stupid kiss."
seungcheol exhaled shakily as his heart falters to the pit of his stomach. he felt a mixture of anger, bitterness and heartbreak flare in his chest, his fingers threading through his hair as he took a moment to gather himself. "a stupid kiss," he repeated, âyou dont know if you like me?â and there was a bitterness to his voice that made your chest tighten. he looked at you, his eyes shining with something raw, something that made your heart splinter.
"it's not just a stupid kiss to me," he whispered, and your breath caught. "do you know how long iâve been in love with you? do you have any idea how many times iâve tried to hold back these feelings because i was terrified you wouldnât feel the same?"
your eyes widened, your knees nearly giving out at his words. "you⊠you're in love with me?" you whispered, barely able to believe it.
he let out a bitter laugh, the sound cracking in the air between you. "yeah," he said, his voice breaking on the word. "iâm in love with you. itâs been hell, watching you, waiting for the right moment, praying that maybe, one day, you'd feel the same. and then you kissed me, and god, for a second, i thought it was real. i thought maybe you felt it too."
your hands shook as you tried to process his confession, the weight of his words pressing down on you, leaving you breathless. "cheolâŠ" you started, but he held up a hand, his gaze turning away from you.
"don't," he whispered, pain etched in every line of his face. "if you're not sure, if you don't know what you want, please⊠don't say anything. because this? this hurts too much."
your chest ached, your heart breaking at the sight of him, of the way he was barely holding himself together. "iâm sorry," you choked out, tears finally spilling down your cheeks. "i didnât know. i never realizedâ"
"thatâs the thing," he interrupted, his voice strained. "i've always been here, and you never realized." he swallowed hard, his jaw clenching as he tried to hold back his own tears. "i canât⊠i canât keep doing this if you don't feel the same,â
seungcheol softens as he took in a deep breath, âI can accept, noâI can understand if you donât love me back,â he says, his voice breaking, âbut i need you to at least be sure you like me. if you canât even be sure you like me, then i donât think i can do this.â his hands curl into fists on his knees, the weight of his words pressing into the air between you.
the tears come without warning, spilling down your cheeks as everything youâve been holding back crashes over you. âcheol,â you begin to confess, voice trembling, âi was in love with you four years ago. back then, before everything. before my ex.â your confession hangs heavy, and you can see the shock and pain in his eyes.
âfour years ago?â he chokes out. heâs crying too, his tears slipping silently down his face. âwhy didnât you tell me?â
you wipe at your face, trying to catch your breath. âbecause i thought it was over. i thought my feelings had become platonic, that theyâd evolved into this safe, distant affection. but seeing you... seeing hanna flirt with you... it hurt. it hurt because i realized i never really let you go. i still love you, cheol. and itâs not just this soft, easy love. itâs the kind that makes me want you even when it hurts.â
his sob catches in his throat, and he reaches for you, his hands trembling. âiâve loved you for so long,â he confesses, his voice cracking under the weight of it all. âi tried to hide it. i tried to hold it back, but i couldnât. youâve always been the one, even when i knew i shouldnât feel that way.â
the two of you sit there, crying together, the years of longing, misunderstandings, and suppressed emotions finally crashing down. he cups your face, thumb brushing away your tears. âso now what?â you ask, voice small and broken.
seungcheol pulls back slightly, looking at you with a playful glint in his eyes, but there's something vulnerable there too. he smiles as he rubs soothing circles on your cheek with his thumb. "now... now i ask you out on a date," he says, his voice softer, but his tone filled with so much emotion. âbutââ he pauses, his smile fading slowly as his gaze turns serious now, âiâll give youâŠfive dates.â
âwhat? what do you mean?â your eyebrows scrunch in confusion.
seungcheol's smile returns as he takes in your pouty face before clearing his throat, âi'll let you decide if you still want me after that. no pressure. in case you change your mind.â his hand goes to reach for a stray hair near your cheek and tucks it behind your ear as he gives you a soft smile, still holding a certain sadness and uncertainty to it.
you smile softly, shaking your head. âi donât need five dates to know my answer, cheol. i'm not changing my mind.â bold adrenaline suddenly pumps through your blood, and you hastily pull seungcheol closer to you in a quick motion, grabbing him by the collar of his shirt, and then you place a quick kiss on his lips. it's nothing romantic by any means, neither was it movie-scene-worthy. it's nothing like that, but it is more than enough to soothe your soaring heart, and it's definitely more than enough to send your message across to seungcheol.
seungcheolâs eyes widen in surprise as you pull away. "youâreâŠsure.â this time, it wasn't a question.
"i'm sure," you repeat anyway for him, stepping into his arms as your heart flutters at the feeling of him finally pulling you in, his embrace as warm as you'd imagined.
his arms wrapping around you with a warmth and desperation that sends a shiver down your spine. It feels like everything you've both been holding back for so long is coming unraveled, like this embrace is the start of something fragile but real. His face buries into the crook of your neck, and you feel his breath, heavy and uneven, as he holds on like he's afraid to let go.
"i've waited so long to hear you say that," he murmurs, voice muffled against your skin. His words are shaky, the tremble betraying the vulnerability heâs still trying to hide. "iâve wanted this for so long, but i never imagined it would feel this terrifying."
your hand finds his back, holding him just as tightly. "itâs terrifying for me too," you admit softly, your voice trembling. "but... iâm tired of being afraid.â
he pulls back slightly, his forehead pressing against yours as his eyes search your face. âletâs give this a real chance, even if it scares us. even if itâs hard." he whispers, a hint of a smile breaking through the sorrow that had clouded his expression.Â
you nod, your eyes locked with his. "i want to," you say, feeling a fragile hope bloom in your chest. "i want us."
a soft, relieved laugh escapes his lips, and he pulls you into a real kiss this timeâgentle, slow, and full of everything unspoken. Itâs not perfect, but it feels like a promise, like a beginning you both desperately needed. you lose yourself in the moment, your heart pounding as the weight of everything finally starts to lift.
when you both pull away, breathless but smiling, seungcheol rests his forehead against yours. "so, about those five dates, even though you say you dont need them," he teases, his voice a little lighter now, a spark of his usual playful demeanor coming back. "should we count this one, or start fresh?"
you laugh, the sound bringing color back into the space between you. "maybe we should count this one," you say, your heart feeling impossibly full. "but only if it means you have to try extra hard to make the next four unforgettable."
his smile widens, the warmth in his eyes chasing away the lingering shadows of doubt. "deal," he says, his hands still resting on your waist. "iâll make every single one worth remembering, just you wait."
#seventeen#seventeen imagine#svt#svt x reader#seventeen fluff#svt fluff#svt angst#fanfic#seventeen x reader#scoups fanfic#seungcheol x reader#choi seungcheol#seventeen angst#seungcheol seventeen#seventeen seungcheol#choi seungcheol x reader#scoups x reader#scoups seventeen#seventeen scoups#seungcheol angst#seungcheol fluff#scoups angst#scoups fluff#seungcheol imagines#seungcheol fanfic#scoups x you#seungcheol x you
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thank you for taking the time to read my works. below you'll find a collection of my series and standalone stories organized for easy browsing. i hope you find something that gets you onto santas naughty list.
Series
The Prophecy | Finished
Description: They call her The Prophecyâbasketballâs impossible phenomenon, rewriting what it means to be perfect on the court. With a near-flawless shooting record and a mind just as sharp in aerospace engineering as it is in breaking down defenses, her name sparks awe, envy, and relentless scrutiny. But perfection has its cost.
But even legends have weak spots. When a high-stakes matchup against LSU draws the attention of Paige Bueckersâthe golden face of college basketballâThe Prophecyâs flawless world starts to crack. On the court, theyâre rivals, locked in a battle for supremacy. Off the court, late-night texts and shared moments blur the lines between competition and something much harder to define.
Word Count: 30K
Part: Start Here
The Hit List | In Progress
Description: When an overworked engineering student's late-night CAD project gets interrupted by a very drunk, very lost basketball star stumbling into the wrong dorm room, she learns that some defensive plays work better in love than on the court.
What starts as a case of mistaken identity turns into an unexpected game of cat and mouse when UConn's golden girl, Paige Bueckers, can't seem to take a hintâ or maybe just doesn't want to. Armed with nothing but sarcasm, an overprotective stuffed bear named Mr. Gummy, and a borrowed team jacket that definitely isn't helping the situation, our engineering hero finds herself drawing up plays to defend her heart against college basketball's most persistent point guard.
They say offense wins games, but defense wins championships. When you're trying not to fall for a girl who treats the court like her kingdom and your personal space like a suggestion, maybe it's time to admit some battles aren't meant to be won.
Word Count: 34k
Part: Start Here
One Shots
Thin Walls
Description: When a sleep-deprived biomed student moves in with UConnâs most notorious heartbreaker, you expect late-night film study, protein shake graveyards, and an apartment perpetually scented like sweat and victory. What you donât expect? Thin walls. And Paige Bueckers making absolutely no effort to keep her extracurricular activities quiet.
What starts as a battle for basic human decency turns into something far messierâpetty revenge plots, mind games laced with innuendo, and an unspoken tension that neither of you is willing to name. Paige plays like she owns the court, like she owns the world, and maybeâjust maybeâlike she wants to own you, too.
They say pressure makes diamonds, but when it comes to Paige Bueckers, it just might make a disaster.
WC: 8.4k
Read Me
Competitive Stamina
Tags: fuck buddies with unresolved issues, unbearable sexual tension, dom!Paige, strap, degradation, slapping, edging, post-game aggression sex, possessive paige, rough sex that solves nothing, idk just porn w minimal plot (I KNOOOOOW)
WC: 6.3k-ish
Read Me
Going UP?
Description: From missed alarms to broken elevators, your Tuesday couldnât get worse, well, until it gets better. When a late-running grad studentâs desperate dash to save her thesis turns into an unexpected elevator encounter with UConn basketball sensation Paige Bueckers, she learns that sometimes the best assists come from broken machinery.
Armed with nothing but coffee-fueled anxiety and an encyclopedic knowledge of basketball analytics, you find yourself trading quips with college basketballâs golden girl in a stalled elevator. What starts as a disaster turns into something else entirely when basketball theory meets practice, terrible jokes meet dangerous grins, and hot chocolate meets, well, everywhere except the mug.
They say love is a game of chances. But when youâre trapped between floors with a girl who can bend physics on the court and make your heart run suicides off it, maybe itâs worth taking the shot.
Sometimes cupid doesnât use arrows. Sometimes he just breaks the elevator.
Word Count: 8.1K
Part: Start Here
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This was, without a doubt, a phenomenal read. Seriously, the humour is impeccable; my cheeks hurt from laughing so much. Iâll have to re-read this story one day, perhaps multiple one days (yes Iâm aware that makes no sense). And their relationship is amazing, I truly love it and every second of this story.
Thank you for writing this absolute masterpiece and sharing it with us!
When I was reading, I decided to write down my thoughts as I go because I knew I'd forget otherwise so below this is literally just the thoughts I wrote down because I do not have the brain power to convert them into actual fully coherent comments [I'll put them below a read more cut for the sake of spoilers and such]
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â âSmog?â The customer parroted incorrectly, scratching his hair as if the action would jog his memory. âNow why does this hobbitâs home have health violations?â â this literally made me snort
Okay this lil comments are making me laugh â he persuaded the idiot to get a rom-com instead / planning to rob the CDs â he has such high hopes and thoughts of others đ
â Now, he did not want to sound pathetic â oh no please do sound pathetic, I kinda like it
â But then, who was watching Disney movies at that age? â me, damn Vernon, go back to being pathetic
â He had, in his own words, called you a hag. â cackling
â You had to grip the counter, cackling at the response â we are one. Hags who cackle together and all that
â Maybe life can be unfucked â okay I need to stop highlighting every phrase that makes me laugh or else Iâll highlight half the fic at this rate, stop making me laugh (im kidding pls never stop)
â Mr. Filmbro. Miss Disney-Hag â aw they have cute lil nicknames for each other already
Omg is he about to rob his lil sister???
Omg Vernon you absolute shit omg
â Filmbrother â I have literal tears in my eyes why is that so fucking funny
â The corners of your mouth, lifting upwards, had him almost nervous. âI was hoping you would say that.â â okay, I officially love her
Those first texts just imagine receiving that, oh Vernon you silly boy. But tbf I probably wouldâve forgotten to add my name too, so I get it
â âI like my men a little pathetic.â â you know, im starting to think you just wrote me in this story because she is so relatable
â âThat seems more like a you problem then!â â okay im convinced you literally copy & pasted me now, Iâm always saying that
But seriously im loving this so far! the shenanigans ehehehe
â âStop freaking out, my guy!â you called out, right on the top of the ladder. âI know my ass is crazy built but this is not the time.â â I am wheezing
â âAnd Batman is the same thing, except he dresses up as a fucking batâŠstupid furry.â â I have never heard someone call Batman a furry before but man now Iâm never going to be able to forget it. Nananananana furryman!
Omg im laughing so hard at the disc swapping, and mingyu being dumb holy shit my chest hurts
â âLetâs watch a fucking Disney Princess movie.â â the man knows what to say to win a gal over
â shuts down like a lagging desktop when it tries to run the Sims â damn, that hits close to home
The whole lantern scene is so fucking cute and written so well I can so easily imagine it all, I love it
â âIf I am to be your exception, _____, then I suppose you can be mine.â â SCREECHING THATâS SO CUTE
If his favourite movie is anything other than Shrek I quit
â âI think I could have fun with you anywhereâŠin secret or for anyone to see.â â exhibitionist
YESSSSS SHREKKKK
â VERNON LOST HIS VIRGINITY WITH SHREK PLAYING IN THE BACKGROUND. â no but this reads like a newspaper headline and im just wheezing at the thought of seeing an article titled that
â You swore if you recited the IMDB plot out to him during sex, he would have spunked within minutes (a mental note to experiment on that later) â I snorted. But now im very curious how that experiment would go
â Within this myriad of fans, you tried to search for the most mentally ill one â im back to highlighting every other line because fuck did that make me laugh
â âWhere are you, kitten?â you purposely growled, lowering your voice an octave. âDaddyâs waiting.â â omg â âKitten actually killed himself after hearing that,â was his purposeful monotone. â I love them
â a boy engulfed in all the pinks of the colour wheel â I am flailing and kicking my feet omg I love a man who is down bad for his partner
I kind of wish they just stood there staring dumbly at each other with their phones to their ears still, just because the mental image makes me laugh, but youâve done enough of that already my cheeks hurt so probably good you didnât write that. My cheeks might break.
They are seriously so cute omg, partners who break and enter together stay together đ
đđąđ„đŠđđ«đš-đłđšđ§đđ
âWho knew all it takes is a hot girl with top-tier taste for a man to admit he's wrong?â


đ đ đ đ đ : fluff, comedy, suggestive, college! au
đ đ đ đ
đ đ đ đ đ : 21.7k words
đ đ đ đ đ đ đ : self-proclaimed movie mastermind chwe vernon minds his businessâwhether that be avoiding the popular, problematic kids in his college to reducing customer interest in his parents' film store. his plan of isolation, however, is completely destroyed when you, a seemingly insane disney fan, slam his perfect movie taste and ask for his help to take down an evil ex.
đ đ đ đ đ đ đ : loosely inspired by watching the detectives, film major! vernon who owns an outdated film store, fem! reader is the baddest (but also the craziest) bitch in this fic, vernon is a loser, film major! mingyu who will be violated many times in this fic sorry king, mentions of many filmbro films which will also be violated, self-indulgent mentions of some of my favourite films, a few super dark jokes nothing serious though, kissing, mentions of sex and the act of cumming (all joking wise) but no actual sex because im fearing god today (super suggestive at best), barbenheimer reference <3
đ đ đ đ đ đ đ : @hyuckworld @junyangis @hiraethmae @lllucere @intoanothermind @kokoiinuts @shnnzsworld @lilifiedeans @talkyoongitome @vanishingboots @cookiearmy @person1fys
đ đ đ đ đ đ ' đ đ đ đ đ : she is finally here !! so so sorry for taking so long </3 i never thought it would be finished atp but thank you addy and alice for pushing me to complete this lil fic !! addy ur film major info birthed the filmbro slander, and alice...no smut LMAO LOSER anyway do enjoy homies <33
đ đ đ đ đ đ đ đ : if you're too shy (then let me know) by the 1975 || q&a by seventeen || wonderful women by the smiths || confidence by ocean alley || talk talk by charli xcx || oh my! by seventeen
back to masterlist

âNO, THE HOBBIT IS SET BEFORE THE LORD OF THE RINGS.â
This particular customer, however, refused to grasp the concept. âBut the Hobbit was released after,â he repeated, as if he had not heard twenty minutes ago, when he first entered the store. âWouldnât it make sense to watch the more recent movies?â
Vernon clamped his lips together, stopping himself from saying something that would lose him a potential buyer. Well, not that it would matter much, considering the man before him could not comprehend what a prequel was, but stillâhe had to make this idiot understand.
âI understand that, sir, but the Hobbit is a prequel to the Lord of the Rings.â Holding onto the DVD set, he pointed to the grand picture of the movieâs protagonist. âItâs based on Bilbo Bagginsâ adventures.â
âBut was that not the little fellow from the Rings?â
âNo, sir, that was Frodo. Bilbo is Frodoâs uncle.â The boy then clarified, tone heightening, âYou know, where he reclaims his home from Smaug?â
âSmog?â The customer parroted incorrectly, scratching his hair as if the action would jog his memory. âNow why does this hobbitâs home have health violations?â
The twist of his lips was inevitable. âSmaug,â he corrected. âThe dragonâŠthe villainâŠthe whole reason the movie was created?â
âSee, I only know that one slimy creature with the ring. What was he always sayingâŠâ The man snapped his fingers, a lightbulb switching in his otherwise empty brain. âAh, yes!â He then completely distorted his voice, rasping, âMy presh-shious!â
For a split second, Vernon was a little gob-smacked at the impression. Then, he remembered he needed sales, and made sure to laugh as if that customer was the funniest man that ever stepped foot in the store.Â
This particular joker, who was clearly not understanding Vernonâs analogies, instead asked, âWell, which one do you recommend?â
Ah, the fated question.Â
Besides from the Lord of the Rings collection, he had been asked this very question a few too many times, when customers would browse the films on offer and ask for his opinion. Not that he considered himself an all-knowing master of moviesâ
He smiled. Now that was something he could chuckle about.
âWell, sir, the Lord of the Rings is a timeless classic. I would recommend it to anyone interested in a well-written, well-produced fantasy.â
The man twisted his lips. âBut I donât really like fantasy, though.âÂ
Vernon could not help his smile dropping. I donât get paid enough for this.
With as much strength he could muster, he persuaded the idiot to get a rom-com instead, and ushered him out.Â
He sighed, going back to the desk. The store was never busyâunsurprising, since nobody buys DVDs anymoreâbut that was how he liked it. The less customers that bothered him, the better. He did not want to be that type of guy, but he would rather have his own company than those who thought that the Marvel movies were Godâs gift to man. (The Spiderman movies, however, he had to leave out of his apparently controversial statement).
Vernon was about to close the shop out of pure boredom when someone stepped in.Â
His eyes darted to the newcomer.Â
They stayed as he beheld you.
Perhaps this was a gross generalisation, but he did not expect someone so cute walking in a store this run-down. Maybe you had mistaken it for a vintage shop, planning to rob the CDs, or thought there might be decades old clothing in here. He was certain you had walked in by mistake, but then you began to browse the movie sections.
His first thought was that you seemed to have excellent taste.Â
You slowed your steps in the classics section, eyes roaming at the Fan Favourites shelf which was simply movies Vernon had seen this week. Still, they were amazing fucking movies, hence their place on the shelf, now being admired by the likes of you. He wondered what you thought of the one DVD you picked up, assessing the blurb at the back. Roman Holiday. The boy could have smiledâyou truly had a knack for picking out special films.Â
Your fingers lingered on the movies for only a couple of minutes before you saw the deskâfirst the counter, and then the person behind it.Â
The fact that your first instinct was to smile at the boy behind the counter had a profound effect on him.
Now, he did not want to sound pathetic; he did not know you, had never seen you before, but someone this aesthetically pleasing did not come to stores like his. Someone who picks up Roman fucking Holiday and be this cute did not acknowledge boys like him.
But Vernon Chwe will be cool about it. He will not look like a loser in front of you.
He pretended to look over some DVDs on the counter desk as you approached him. âHey, there,â you greeted, and only then he allowed himself to look up, glancing you over. Already you had propped your arms on the top, eyes darting around the store as if finding something which deserved your attention. âI wanted to ask about a specific film. Well, films.âÂ
Films? Vernon really thought all the intelligent minds had rotted in this lifetime, but clearly you were an exception. âOf course,â he said, setting the movie on the side. âWhat genres are you interested in?â he ticked his head towards the Fan Favourites. âYou were looking in the right place, to be fair.â
âHmm?â you only spared that shelf a momentaryâdismissiveâglance. âOh, sorry! I was looking for a specific box-set, but I canât seem to find it on the shelves. I was hoping you could have it out back.â
Specific box-set? Vernon tried to contain his smile. Of course you were looking for a collection of timeless classics. âWhatâre you looking for?â he asked you, hoping you were going to request Hitchcockâs best. If you asked for Wong Kar-Waiâs trilogy, he might have fallen to his knees.Â
You smiled at him.
Then dropped the bomb.
âI donât know if youâd have the Disney Princess box set? You know, the complete edition?â
Vernonâs eye twitched a little. What the fuck?
Your gaze on him did not shift. âAre you okay?â
It took a moment for him to realise that you had asked him a question. âHuh? Right, sorry,â he said hurriedly, mind rushing for the many possibilities as to why you had requested a set like that. Perhaps you were braindead? No, that was too harsh. But then, who was watching Disney movies at that age?
Then an idea came into his head, and it made him feel much better.Â
âSo sorry about that,â he reiterated, scratching the back of his neck. âAnywayâŠDisney Princess set, huh?â He sighed out a laugh. âA sweet treat for your younger siblings, then.â
âYounger siblings?â A swift shake of your head, still smiling. âHavenât got any of those.âÂ
The twitching was back. â...anyone under the age of 12 you know?â
âNow youâre making me sound like a freak,â you mused, locking your hands together. âIs it that shocking that Iâm getting the set for myself?â
Vernonâs any attempt to diffuse the conversation died the moment you said those words.
Disney. Princess. Movies. The box-set you wanted was a Disney. Fucking. Princess box-set.Â
At this rate, his eye-twitching was very much visible to you. âDonât tell me no oneâs ever bought a Disney movie from you,â you said, surprised by his change of attitude.
âWell,â he jeered, âI usually have first-time parents with their toddler kids asking me about sets like that.âÂ
You then titled your head back a little, taken aback with the comment. âAre you saying Iâm too old to watch Disney movies?â
âNo!â he instinctively defended himself, though he had virtually no defence to offer. He had, in his own words, called you a hag.Â
This was itâhe was usually stellar at keeping his opinions to himself. Now, the one time he could have kept his mouth shut, it spluttered open and not only embarrassed him, but one of the only cute potential customers. He was his own saboteur. His own destruction.Â
After catching the flurry of emotions on his face, you had a realisation.Â
Did his stupid comments get to you? Perhaps they would have, had you not seen his like before. Not only that, you had a sneaky feeling he himself had no clue on what category he was slotted into.
So you let the corners of your mouth curve upwardsâup to the point where you were smirking, completely catching the boy off guard.Â
âMy god, youâre a filmbro!âÂ
Those emotions that you had witnessed now all conjoined into confusion. âHuh?â was his intelligent answer to the accusation. Filmbro?
And then you began to chuckleâlittle bursts of soft giggles, which escaped your mouth the more the revelation settled over you. âWait, wait,â you began, âI need to ask this first!â You wiggled your finger at him. âWhat is your favourite film?â
Again, the fated question. This time, though, he felt as if his answer would not be the right one. Stillâif there was one thing he was confident about, it was his expertise in films.
He tried, as confidently as he could, to voice out his supposed opinion. âNolanâs Inception is one of the greatest films ever made.âÂ
There was one, solitary, quiet moment.
It was ruined by the subsequent laughter, courtesy of your mouth, which could not shut after his answer. You had to grip the counter, cackling at the response, and Vernon could only gawk at you, face reddening with every second spent watching you keel over.Â
After what seemed like a lifetime (but was only about thirty seconds), Vernon finally cleared his throat. âAlright now, thatâs enough comedy,â he muttered.
Another thirty seconds later, you finally seemed to calm down. The mischievous mirth on your face, although would have had any man swooning at your feet, seemed to irritate him all the more. âIâm sorry,â you gasped out, wiping a slight tear from your eye, âYou justâŠyou reminded me of my boyfriend.â
Of course. Vernon nearly clicked his tongue in disappointment. Of course the pretty, borderline-mean, borderline-terrible-taste-in-movies girl was taken. Fuck my life, son.
Your smile flickeredâalmost as if it turned cruel. âMy mistakeâŠex-boyfriend.â
His eyebrow then raised a little. Maybe life can be unfucked; maybe the pretty, not-that-mean-as-he-thought, changeable-taste-in-movies girl was still attainable.Â
Your eyes wandered once more, but this time to your hands. âI was actually going to get the Disney Princess set for him.â
The eyebrow decided to raise further up. He was dying to know why you were 1) getting your ex-boyfriend a present and 2) getting your ex-boyfriend the worst fucking present. But of course, due to the lack of balls in his pants, he did not ask you.
The crazier notion was, maybe you knew the lack of balls that should be present in his pants, because you iterated for him. âIâm surprised youâre not asking why Iâm giving my ex a Disney Princess movie set, Mr. Filmbro.â
That term had him immediately frowning. âI donât particularly care,â he lied as best as he could. He then crossed his arms. âPlus, Iâm afraid the store doesnât have the sets. Iâm gonna have to order them in.â
A tilt of your head. âAre you lying?â
The cross of his arms was goneânow his hands were raised in surrender. âNo, no!â At least not the set order bitâŠ
Although it was quite clear that you did not believe him, you spared him this once. âAlrightâŠâ you receded your arms from the desk, taking a step back. Instead, you pointed at him. âBut donât think Iâm gonna leave you alone on this!âÂ
Vernonâs insanely suave, cool, mystique response was giving you a thumbâs up. âOf course.âÂ
As you walked back to the entrance, hand on the door, you looked back at him. âIâll see you soon, Mr. Filmbro.âÂ
The eye-twitch was about to come back. He did not bother waving as you left the shop.

VERNON COULD NOT STOP THINKING ABOUT YOU FOR THE SEVEN DAYS BETWEEN YOU AND TODAY.Â
It was slightly embarrassingâhe supposed he should have expected some extraordinary meet-cute, where someone who looked and acted like you would waltz into his dusty-ass film store and ask for possibly the worst movie collection to grace the western cinema.Â
But then you called him a fucking Filmbro, and now the self-hatred might bubble to the surface of his usual calm demeanour.Â
The boy scoffed as he fixed the alphabetical order of the CD covers, located in the Classics section. FilmbroâŠwhat the fuck do I look like a Filmbro forâŠ
He firstly supposed that he should consider it a complimentâso what if he had superior knowledge of movies over the average morons that wandered into the store? He was paid minimum wage for this knowledge! Fuck, he was doing a degree within this field! (Not that he was quite sure he would end up as a blockbuster director at the fine age of 21, but the arts majors were always told to dream beyond the realistic limits.)
The more he contemplated over the vicious term, the more it began to bother him. FilmbroâŠFilm. Bro. God, it sounded like a classist cliqueâa club where the members considered themselves above the laws of society, but were horrendously ridiculed by the outsiders. At the end of the day, he had always been an outsider in these clubsâhe did not enjoy being the laughing stock, even if it meant being a member of an elitist group.Â
Whatever. So what if you called him a Filmbro? He had only spoken to you once; the opinion of one girlâregardless of how pretty she wasâwas not of any relevance to him.
But then you sauntered into his store, and suddenly he forgot that he was seething over you for an entire week.Â
There you were, footsteps harmonising along the bells of the entrance, and he swerved back to see you. You, in all your frill-skirted, layered-shirted, gum-chewing glory, catching his eye and bringing back the smile which you had offered him the moment you bestowed him that term of little-endearment.Â
âHello again, Mr. Filmbro.â
Donât be a prick, donât be a prick, donât be a prickâ
It was fineâit was okay. Vernon was a man nowâno longer in his teens. He could have a normal, pleasant conversation. He was mature and able enough to interact with a girl who just happened to disagree with him on certain interests.Â
He would be cordialâkind.
âHow can I help you, Miss Disney-Hag?â
His skin nearly crawled. I need to kill myself immediately.Â
A bit of a low blow from his nickname, but you were laughing, a silly little melody. You must have been crazy, because any other sane, rational human being would have been offendedâshould have been offended. Vernon fought to keep his face straight.Â
âI see youâve been thinking about me then,â you said.Â
That had him looking away, walking behind the counter. âItâs not everyday I get a grown-ass woman asking me about childrenâs films.â
You mocked a gasp, slapping a hand over your chest. âOuch. Do you hurt every girl that walks into your filmstore, or is this special treatment reserved for me?
Vernon focused on the cash in the register. âWhen another girl asks for the special edition for the Cinderella trilogy, then Iâll hurt her just the same.â
You clicked your tongue. âI should have known all men suck in their own ways.â You then approached the counter, propping your elbows atop the surface. âAt least show me youâre good at your job and bring me the movie set I ordered.â
At this precise moment, all the thoughts about your stubborn addiction, playful smirk and how terrible the Little Mermaid was had completely vanished.
Shit.Â
Maybe his irrational dislike ran further than he thought.
âYeahâŠâ but then he realised he sounded incredibly suspicious, and cleared his throat, forcing a little assurance in his usual monotone. âYes! Yeah, of course! The movie set.â He took a step back, nodding his head ever so slowly, as if his head was not churning out a million different plans. âGive me one secondâŠâ
âSure,â you could barely get out before Vernon whirled on his heel, bursting through the backstage door, and into the Chwe flat.Â
He did not know whether this was going to work out.Â
Like lightning he ascended the stairs, hands brushing against the bannister as he went past his bedroom, door slightly ajar. Not the destination he was seeking, he stopped before the neighbouring doorâthis one firmly closed.Â
The boy made sure to knock first. No answer. Perfect. Slowly turning the knob, he opened the door, peeking around just in case there was someone in the room, and then he would have to resort to more planning. Since the coast was crystal clear, though, he put his mind at ease, only focusing on the main plan.
The room he had entered was a myriad of pop culture references and childhood memories, plastered on the butterfly-covered walls, sitting atop bedside tables or hanging off the hooks. Vernon never realised how invested his sister was with certain TV shows or films till he saw Lindsay Lohanâs mugshot plastered next to her bed. He had asked about it once, but she only waved him off. You wouldnât understand her impact, she had said to him, and went back to shitting about him to her friends.Â
Prying away from the poster, his eyes settled on what he came for, settled in the middle of the huge book shelf.
Sofia prided herself with her book and movie collection, a hereditary trait which Vernon shared: the top and bottom shelves were filled with her all-time favourites, even resorting to furthering her obsessions with the merch related to her treasured characters. He remembered laughing at her ideas until he saw a Barbie FunkoPop figure staring back at him one day. That notion was already horrendous, but the black, soulless eyes had guaranteed its spot in his sleep paralysis the next day.
Thankfully, the little horror was not on show on her bookshelfâthis time, right in the middle, was the very prize that he sought.Â
The Disney Princess Movie SetâComplete Edition.
Packaged in pink casing, Sofiaâs most treasured piece sat, almost with its head held high as the other movies orbited around its pull. As far as Vernon remembered, it held all the Princess movies, and was worth at least 6 hours of his wages.
The boy looked around the room, as if his sister would appear any second.
Then, like a thief in the night (even though it was broad daylight, and would definitely be caught), he swiped the set off the bookshelf, and hurried out of her room.
âSorry, Sofe,â he could only murmur under his breath as he dashed down the stairs, hoping you had not been bored by his absence, and left him with stolen goods at the scene of the crime.
He opened the door adjacent to the shop, and he almost sighed in relief when you perked up, eyes darting straight to your apparent order. When he saw your face light up like fireworks in the night sky, he titled his head back a bit, stunned by your boisterous reaction.
âYou actually bought it!â you exclaimed, drumming your hands against the counter as he set the movies down. âI had a feeling you would blow me off.â
âBusiness is business,â Vernon said, crossing his arms, âShit taste in movies will not stop me from making my money.â
You clicked your tongue. âSpoken like a business major.â
âFilm major, thank you. I would rather kill myself than submit to the horrors of finance.â
âDonât die on me just yet.â Bringing out your purse, you fished through its contents, first setting your card on the counter. Then, you brought out a crumpled piece of paper. âI actually have a few more films I want to ask about.â
The boy was expecting another long list of early 2000s rom-comsâperhaps an opinion for every Disney movie ever made in its existence. He swore if he had to hear about Rachel McAdamsâ versatility one more time, he might blow his brains out in front of a customer.Â
Then you dropped the names, and he had to surge his head forward.
âWhat are your thoughts on Wolf of Wall Street, American Psycho, Pulp FictionâŠFight Club, Saving Private Ryan, ScarfaceâŠâ You squinted at the list, finding the names neverending. âJeez, this list keeps going, huh?âÂ
He could not help the scoff. âAnd you called me a Filmbro.â He set his forearms on the counter, locking his hands together. âWhat do you need these movies for?â
âTheyâre for my ex-boyfriend.âÂ
The term had him pausing. Of courseâthe ex-boyfriend. How has he heard of this man, but not know a thing about him? Shit, he did not even know your name.
âThis ex of yours hasâŠan interesting taste,â he said slowly. âWhatâs he like?â
âI can tell you he attends the same college as you. Well, us,â you clarified, jerking your head towards the college colours of your serverâs hoodie. âFilm major. Just like you, actually.âÂ
âOh?â Small world. âWhatâs the name?â
âKim Mingyu. Do you know him?âÂ
Vernon Chwe nearly shit his oversized jeans.
A hesitant nod of his head. âI have a few classes with him.â
âOh?â Your stare was a little more intense now. âWhat do you think of him?â
Right.Â
Another fated questionâthe people around him had to stop asking him such controversial questions, or else he was bound to piss someone off. You were already letting him off the hook too many times; one more judgemental comment, and he was having that Princess movie set smashed on his head.
Kim Mingyu. Fuckass Kim Mingyu. Film majorâjust like him. One of the most popular boys in the yearâvery unlike him. All the teachers love his essays, all the girls love his freakishly-perfect six-pack, which Vernon is extremely irritated (and devastatingly intimidated) by.Â
What all these people failed to realise, though, was that Mingyu was the biggest piece of shit to grace the halls of his universityâand the planet, if dramatics were in order. If you thought that Vernon was a filmbro, then Mingyu was Filmbrother. Filmcomrade. Filmnemesis.Â
It was as if you could hear the thoughts churning in his head. âYou can be honest, you know. He did dump me at the end of the day.â A smirk began to appear. âSay your worst.â
The reassurance did not help. âI mean,â he started, swiping your card, âHeâs okay? I havenât talked to him enough to have an opinion on him.âÂ
A half-truthâthat should suffice.Â
But because the fates like to shit on his head every now and then for kicks, they decided to leave you unsatisfied with his answer. âOr, you can keep lying!âÂ
Excellent intuition, really. âIâm not!â he exclaimed, slapping the card back on the counter. âI really donât know much about him.â
The big man upstairs was testing him even further, when, with a determined gaze, you set your elbows atop the surface. You leaned closer, tilting your head to the side as you inspected him, and Vernon blinked back at the sheer lack of space you had created. His mouth twisted, eyes frantically darting at the features of your face, not quite taking in the entirety of your being. Your vision seemed to work perfectly, because it caught the slight flush at the tops of his cheeks, where it was just pale skin seconds before.
Your smirk deepened. âJudging by your blush, youâre either terrible at lyingâŠor,â you offered, voice lowering a little as you drummed your fingers against the counter, âYouâve never had a hot girl this close to you.âÂ
Fuck everything and everyone, because that only made him blush more furiously. You could not help the chuckle that escaped, deciding to cease torturing him and take your card. âIâll not say the answer, Mr. Filmbro, but I think you already know.â
Since he had no plans of turning into a human form of a ketchup bottle, he evaded the topic entirely, instead focusing on interrogating you. âYou still havenât told me how Mingyu is related to the movie list you made.â
That seemed to hold your interest. âOh, of course!â Putting the list back into your bag, you began, âWell, the list holds my ex-boyfriendâs favourite films. I wanted to know your opinion on a few.â
He could not contain his sigh. Oh, he had an opinion on these films that you mentioned. Again, he would rather be buried with his thoughts on the specific genre than ever tell you. The curiosity, though, was eventually going to eat him alive.
So much for minding his business.
âI meanâŠâ he began to think, trying to find the right words. âI donât mind them? Godfather is a good film, but Iâve seen better from Brando. I like American Psycho, but again, people tend to miss the point of the movie.â
As you nodded, listening to his two-cents on the movies you mentioned, he paused, furrowing his brows. âWhy do you care about my opinion?â
You smacked your lips together, folding the list back. âI donât know much about you, Mr. Filmbro,â you began, âBut you donât run a filmstore without knowing a thing or two about the films you sell.â
âSo?â He crossed his arms atop the counter. âShouldnât you have asked the guy who you made the list about?â
âTrust me,â you said, your smirk turning more into a rageful flash of teeth, âI know exactly what he thinks of these films.â
Donât particularly know what to make of that comment. âWell, I donât know what my opinion for these films is going to help you in any way.â
âIt has helped.â You paused then, waiting to see if he would egg you on, asking how his seemingly tame opinions would play into the grand scheme of things. âAll part of my master plan.â
Master plan? Vernon may have been interested before, but he was certain that, before, he could have hid it without letting you catch onto it. In a sudden flash, though, as if his mouth was beyond his control, he regrettably slipped out the words which had you smiling more than he would have liked.
âWhat master plan?â
He almost closed his eyes. Shit. Now Iâm fucking invested.
The corners of your mouth, lifting upwards, had him almost nervous. âI was hoping you would say that.âÂ
Great. Brilliant. Fantastic. Fucking Stupendous. Vernon could not think of other pretentious synonyms. âI will tell you, Mr. Filmbro,â you began, once again settling your locked hands on the counter, âIf you help me out with it.âÂ
That had his eyebrow shooting upwards. âWhat does that mean?â
âExactly what I intended.â A pause. âLook, I know itâs a little crazyâŠbeing asked by someone to help in some mysterious plan. But hey!â you added, âYou know who the target is, and you know I can be trusted.â
âCalling your ex-boyfriend a target makes this sound like a contract killing. Also, I actually donât know that,â he corrected, crossing his arms. âThe only thing I know about you is your weird obsession with childrenâs movies.â
âWell, buddy, thatâs basically my entire personality, so you donât need to know any more!â
Vernon sucked in a breath. âI donât even know your name.â
Your eyes darted to his features, the sharp brows, the speculative eyes, the flared nostrils. His lips, which were twisted in a curious, bemused line. âThatâs an easy problem to solve.â You decided to battle his frown with a smile. â_____.â
_____. At least he knew one important thing about you. He swore Mingyu had mentioned your name before, but then he should not also hold certaintyâthat boyâs favourite subject had always been himself.Â
You snapped him out of his thoughts. âThis is when you tell me your name nowâŠor do you enjoy being called a filmbro?â
ManâŠhe could not look you in the eye afterwards. âI donâtâŠâ he got out, stuffing his hands in his pockets. âAnd itâs Vernon. Chwe Vernon.âÂ
âVernon,â you repeated, lips curling upwards. âAlright, Vernon, since both of us know each otherâs names, you can definitely help me now!âÂ
The said-boy tried to smile, which was more a grimace. âWellâŠâ
âTell you what,â you said, trying to find something in your bag. âWait, give me a secondâŠshit, where is that piece of paperâŠ?â You finally managed to fish a crumpled piece out. âRight!â After catching sight of a pen lying around the counter, you took it and scribbled something quickly, sending it his way.
Taking it, he looked at the messy scribblesâyour number. âYouâre looking at it as if I passed you a death threat,â you snickered. Vernon gave an uneasy smile. âJust think it over. I need movie expertise, and thereâs no one else I know who can help me more than a guy who runs a film store.â
The boy behind the counter listened to you, paper still in hand. Maybe Mingyu made some points breaking up with youâyou did not know who Vernon was, save for the name that was tied to him, and the job he was forced to do by his parents. Realistically, he had to decline, because if he has ever learned something in his lifeâor from watching a myriad of golden age romantic tragediesâis that you never trust the beautiful, crazy girls.Â
âHey,â he heard you say, and he swore your chirp had softened. âIâll go ahead with my plan in a weekâs time. If I donât hear from you, then Iâll know your answer. You donât have to tell me now.â When he looked at you, he saw your expression shift. âThatâs why I only gave the paper.âÂ
He supposed he could appreciate this sentiment. âThanks,â he could only say, pocketing your number. âIs thereâŠanything else you want? Aside from theââ a snide glance at the DVD setââthe movie?âÂ
âI saw that,â you scoffed, taking hold of the movie set. âAnd no, Iâm alright. Iâll bother you about childrenâs movies another time.âÂ
âIâll make sure these childrenâs movies are all conveniently sold out when you come,â he countered without thinking.Â
You could only shake your head, trying to contain your laugh. âCareful, or I just might bother you after the plan.âÂ
Vernon did not know what he felt at that notionâwould he want that? However, he did not have time to ponder, since you were already heading for the door. As you nearly left the store, bell ringing, he did not hear the door close. He glanced up, catching you looking at him with an indecipherable expression. âYes?â
You waited a moment before parting your mouth. âI hope to hear from you, Mr. Filmbro.âÂ
With that, you swiftly exited the store, leaving this Mr. Filmbro even more helpless than he was between the seven days between your first encounter, and now this very second.Â

âJO MADE SENSE WITH FRIEDRICH AT THE END. SHE SIMPLYâŠNEEDED A MAN AFTER PINING FOR LAURIE.â
The professor listened in the small circle, the rest of the students typing or writing down the answer. âLike, realistically,â Mingyu went on, twisting his mechanical pencil between his fingers, âThe whole point of the movie is her relationship with Laurie, and that was shattered the moment he married Amy. Friedrich was likeâŠâ he pouted in thought, furrowing his brows. âThe light at the end of the tunnelâŠdoes that make sense, Minghao?â
The said-man nodded. âInteresting take,â he noted, walking closer to the circle he was teaching. âSo you agree that Jo needed Friedrich at the end of the film?â
âAbsolutely.â
There were a few murmurs around the room, majority of them agreeing with the golden boy who was sitting at the head of the circular, white table. Vernon, who was sat one girl away from him, typed furiously in his laptop, adding to his notes. MINGYU IS A FUCKING IDIOTâŠCINEMATICALLY ILLITERATEâŠBORDERLINE MISOGYNISTâŠOkay, perhaps he was exaggerating on the last one, but his analysis of the question pissed him off.Â
Did Jo need Friedrich at the end of the movie? Was what Professor Minghao had asked them about an hour ago. Vernon knew the answer immediately, and, although did not share it with the seminar, was surprised to be disagreed by the majority of the class. Not surprising, however, when his class was filled with men who could not imagine a woman in a film wanting anything else but a man beside her.Â
Whatever, he thought, straying from the web page and instead checking the release date for Oppenheimer when he heard your name crop up amongst the discourse in the table.Â
âDid _____ actually?âÂ
âOh, yeah, said she thought Jo should have been on her own.â A click of tongue. âNot surprising, coming from her.âÂ
Vernon instantly perked up, fingers pausing on the keyboard. Not surprising? The boy was actually floored at that opinionâand how valid you were for expressing it.Â
âI mean,â another girl, right next to him, chimed in, âDidnât you say she was really stupid, Gyu?â
âGod, I donât know where to begin,â Mingyu said, aghast, and the boy who eavesdropped felt a little dread at every word that escaped his mouth. âEverytime I watched a movie with her she always got bored, or argued with me when I tried to explain shit to her.âÂ
âI remember we sat with her while we were tryna do our film project last semester,â the boy beside Mingyu recalled. âShe had no fucking clue who Martin Scorcese was, man!âÂ
The group audibly gasped, save for Vernon, who could not help himself, refusing to mind his business. Nasty habit thisâhe made a note to call you out for this later on, should you walk into his store again.Â
Fuck. He did not want that. Of course he did not. He should stop thinking about it too.Â
You, that is.
âSheâs gotta be the dumbest one yet, Gyu,â the boy snickered, snapping his laptop shut.Â
âYou donât even know the half of it,â the dumper groaned, raking through his locks. âYou know she was always watching those fucking Disney princess movies?â Vernonâs eyes widened a little. âMan, I remember she wouldnât get enough of them. Like, what are you, six? Why the fuck am I watching a movie about a midget dragon?â
Then, Mingyu said the words that made the eavesdropperâs spirits shot down.Â
â_____ may have been hot, but she was one stupid bitch. Thank god I got rid of her.âÂ
The others agreed. He may have spoken more on the matter of your lack of media literacy, but the professor was back, and the seminar had quietened, all in focus.Â
All except for the boy who had not given his two cents on the matter, frozen solid at the conversation that occurred. What the fuck was that? He had first thought, over and over to the point that he nearly typed it in the seminar document. He had always known Mingyu was an asshole, but what he said about you gave him a very uneasy feeling. Â
What sent him over the edge was that a lot of his grievances sounded identical to Vernonâs own words.Â
Miss Disney Hag he had called youâto your face he had insulted your taste in films, and you had only laughed. He wondered how you felt when it was Mingyu amplifying those very opinions on a daily basis.Â
A frown marred his features. Damn it. He knew he was a loser, but he did not know he was an asshole. Like MingyuâŠ
Vernon visibly shivered.Â
As Minghao voiced out the objectives for the second half of the seminar, the boy brought his hand into his trouser pocket, slipping out the paper. He looked over your number, the messy scribbles dancing in his eyes. Darting to his phone on the table, he held it in his free hand, looking over the contacts.Â
âDamn it,â he said under his breath.Â
Was he going to regret this? Most probably. Will you probably make him do something that would result in a fatal injury, and land a permanent stain on his social record? One hundred percent.Â
If he knew these things already, then what he should have done was toss the paper in the nearest bin. What he did instead, as he typed in some vital information in his phone, was something that changed his life (or at least the life he will live for the next few weeks).
vernon: u dont have to wait till next weekÂ
vernon: ill help u with the plan
There. And now, he shall wait.
Which, he pondered as he saw the immediate response, was not very long.Â
normal disney enjoyer: wait who tf is this??
Oops.Â
vernon: oh mb this is vernon lmao
vernon: from the filmstore
normal disney enjoyer: oh damn why didnât u say so !! freaky ass textÂ
vernon: ??? ive said it now tf
normal disney enjoyer: and im happy u have ;)
Well. Vernon sighed a little, trying to focus back on his work, but to no avail.
Letâs see what you have in store for the next week.

VERNON WAS WONDERING WHETHER HE STILL HAD TIME TO KILL HIMSELF.Â
It could be quickâmaybe if he jumped in front of the next incoming car, full speed, he might suffer a haemorrhage in his brain, and die bleeding out as his parents took him to the hospital. Of course, that does mean that it would be slow and excruciating, but he thought that nothing would be as painful as whatever you had planned for him.
Come onâŠmaybe it wonât be that bad. Perhaps his thoughts were spiralling too quickly. Perhaps his assumptions of you were a stretch, and that all this anxiousness, pent up in him, would wash away the moment he saw your car pulling up to the storeâs driveway.
He felt himself prepare mentally as, eventually, your small, red car slowed in front of him. Right before him, he saw the passenger window roll down, and he caught sight of your smiling face, teeth showing.Â
Perhaps it truly would not be as bad as he imagined.Â
âGet in loser, weâre going trespassing.â
Nevermind.
âOh my God,â was the unsatisfying answer to your perfect reference. Seriously, you should not bother saving your precious material on such a lame boy, but there was something so exciting about his eyes sharply rolling, colour staining the tops of his cheeks. âIâm not doing this if youâre going to quote terrible movies the entire night.â
âFirst of all, fuck you. Mean Girls birthed half of your customers.â You flicked the lock on the passenger door, pushing it open. âSecond, you donât have a choice. Youâve agreed to ruin Mingyuâs life.â
âFirst of all yourself, I did not agree to that.â Begrudgingly, he settled shotgun, snapping the car door shut. âSecond, Mean Girls was a waste of Rachel McAdamsâ talent.âÂ
You scoffed, starting the car. âI donât take opinions from men who canât drive.âÂ
This shut the boy up nicely, clamping his lips together in quiet shame. He wished he could argue with thatâyou, he feared, had a good point. Despite that, it was not his fault that his parents insisted on the reliance of public transport; the bus was his greatest villainâaside from the middle school kids in his store that always ask for the next FIFA game.Â
You could not help taking a second glance at him, chuckling at his defeat. âDonât be sad, Mr. FIlmbro,â you reassured him, changing gears. âI like my men a little pathetic.âÂ
That did not help at allâhis eyes widened, gawking at you, but you were already looking ahead, pressing your foot on the accelerator.Â
âJesus!â he exclaimed as he held onto his seat, taken aback by your sudden rush of speed. âI thought you wanted to kill Mingyu, not yourself!â
âMy bad,â you only said, turning right. âIâm just so excited! You know, getting there.âÂ
âI can see that,â he mumbled, looking away from you into the back. Strapped in with the seatbelt, bizarrely, was Sofiaâs Disney Princess Set, as if the dozen-movie box was a toddler in need of extra assistance. What the fuckâŠ?
âIâm having these films in pristine condition, Vernon,â you explained, though it still made no sense in his head. âYou understand, donât you?â
Of course not. âSure.âÂ
He waited for further explanation, which, as the silence continued, you decided to throw him the conversational bone. âI donât just carry the set around with me, you know.â
Sure. âOf course not.âÂ
âItâs relevant to todayâs plan,â was all you would offer, speeding more to reach the destination quicker. Vernon held onto the belt a little tighter, still eyeing the movie set rather suspiciously before focusing back on the road.Â
The drive was not longâperhaps thirty minutes at mostâbut he knew he was leaving the rougher parts of the city when nicer neighbourhoods welcomed his vision, the litter on the roads disappearing, instead trees in an orderly line painting the sides of the pavement. The further you drove into these suburbs, the more he was surprised at the sheer luxury of the exterior of these houses; granted, he did not originate from poverty, but his idea of a holiday was three days in the comforts of his bed, bingeing the Miyazaki collection with a lifetime supply of mint chocolate chip ice cream on his lap.Â
Vernon had to save his mouth dropping to the seat of the car floor when they rolled into the Kim householdâs drive.Â
He was aware that Mingyu derived from wealthâthe former could not help noticing his pricey, flashy brands every time the taller boy sauntered into the Film Sound classes, but he did not expect this Bridgerton-ass looking house, nestled in between the other million-dollar homes in the neighbourhood. He was greeted with a clearer picture the closer you parked in their drive, surprisingly empty; it was around that moment that you noticed that all the lights were turned off in the house, almost a haunting image.Â
The boy was on his way to make a comment about your terrible spying skills when you rebuffed him immediately, saying, âI know what youâre thinking. I have it covered.â
âPlease tell me, Miss Bond, how are you planning to carry this out?â
You offered him an incredulous look. âI donât know what that reference means, Iâm too pretty.â
His answer to that was a thin, long line of his mouth. You chose to ignore it completely. âMingyuâs parents are out of town right now, and his sisterâs on a ski-trip in Austria.â
A glance of confusion. âIn the middle of March?âÂ
A shrug. âYou know what rich people are like.â Weirdly enough, he knew exactly what you were talking about. âBut it worked out great for us.â With a hard exhale you got out of the car, the boy beside you reflecting your actions. âAll the easier for what we have to do.â You opened the car door behind the driverâs one, unstrapping the seatbelt and carefully bringing out the movie set.Â
âHowâre we getting into the evil lair, then?â he asked dryly, crossing both his arms. âI assume the millionaires donât happen to put a spare key under the carpet?â
âImagine,â you said, sighing melodramatically. âI tried making them do it so I could sneak into his house, but for some reason, Mingyu never agreed to it.âÂ
âI wonder why,â he muttered.
âWorry not, young grasshopper!â You strolled to the very right of the house, where a thin wooden door was almost hidden from view. âWhere there is a door closed, another is mysteriously open.âÂ
With a hard push, the door trudged back, swinging heavily away. He stared at it, not quite believing how someone can be so careless to keep their gates unlocked. âAnother weakness of Mingyuâsââ You pointed at the cleared path into the houseââwhenever he leaves from the garden, he never locks the gate.â
Vernon could not quite believe it. âEither the wealthy are incredibly secured in their safety, or stupid as fuck.â
âI think you know the answer to that,â you joked, going further into the journey, ushering him over. Like a siren calling his name, he followed you, unaware of the shit you might be getting him into.Â
Into the fancy garden they arrived, clean-cut hedges bordering in dozens of flower bushes, peppered also with a few fruit treesâberries of every kind ripening on the green. While Vernon admired the natural luxury, you hurried to the nearby shed, where a ladder was situated right beside it. âQuick, help me out here!â you shouted in a whisper, ushering him over. Dropping the DVD set for a moment, you grunted as you held the large ladder up with his assistance, slowly making its way to the brick wall of the house. âWait, line it up against that window over there,â you instructed, jerking your head towards the far right window, no doubt on the second floor. Once the ladder was lined up properly, you moved the boy out of the way, shaking the rails to make sure it stayed put.Â
âI canât believe weâre actually doing this,â Vernon muttered, watching you take the Disney Princess set in one hand, the other making the first step on the calendar. âWe can stillâŠyou know, not commit breaking and entering.âÂ
âYou can happily leave, Mr. Filmbro,â you offered, looking up at your destination.Â
That had him scoffing. âMy ass is not walking two hours back to my house.âÂ
âThat seems more like a you problem then!â you chirped. âNow are you following me up, or pussying out?â
Once again, pussying out seemed like the obvious choice for the boy. He was not made for missions such as theseâhe was merely meant to watch other people act out said missions in front of his television. Unfortunately, because he was too far away from the film store, it was either sitting it out, waiting for you to come out and do something diabolical, or at least watch over you should you cross a line (if the latter were the case, then Vernon had already failed).Â
âFuck, fuck, fuck,â he kept uttering like a mantra, waiting for you to climb up enough to hold onto the ladder as he began to follow after you. He made the mistake of looking up as you climbed up, and he got a full, HD view of your ass. He tried his very best to look away out of some semblance of respect, but you also made the mindful decision of wearing the shortest skirt known to man. His fuck, fuck fucks! rang louder, causing you to shush him.
âStop freaking out, my guy!â you called out, right on the top of the ladder. âI know my ass is crazy built but this is not the time.â
âThatâs not why Iâm freaking out, _____!â he countered, but knowing you, you did not care for his explanations. He only waited as you pushed open the slight-open window, all the way to the top before climbing inside.
As he reached the top of the ladder, he watched you dust yourself before glancing back at him, ushering him inside. âHere goes nothing,â he said to himself, hands on the top of the window ledge as he put his foot on the sill, pushing himself inside.Â
Vernon dropped into the unknown room, an oof! leaving his mouth as he landed rather ungraciously on his feet. Quickly, he looked up, surroundings rather dimmed due to the lack of lighting. Still, with the help of the moonlight, he could slowly make out the huge smart TV in the middle of the bedroom, beneath it a wide shelf filled with DVDs, some opened and scattered on the carpeted floor. The bed was on the opposite side, right next to the window the two of you had entered in, black and gold sheets tousled and unmade.
As you turned the light on, the boy then made out that Mingyu, in fact, did not have a bed frame, but just a mattress, with the sheets barely done properly. The wall on his left was a full black-shutter closet, where he could see the collection of his designer clothing behind the gaps. Posters were plastered on the rest of the walls, most of them being the Tarantino classics âa reclined, raven-bobbed Uma Thurman watching him with bedroom eyes being the most prominentâwith certain papers of autographs also stuck next to the posters. There was another posterâAmerican Beauty and the girl surrounded with rose petalsâwhich had him quickly looking away.
âJesus,â was all he could say, but he supposed he should not have judged. He himself had only his posters in his roomâexcept he did not have the same taste as a middle-aged incel.
âI know.â You looked around at the familiar space, and the memories you had made here. âImagine having sex in this hellsite.â
Then the image of you having sex with Mingyu on that messy bed came into his mind, and Vernon could have combusted then and there. âI canât imagine,â he mumbled out, walking to the door, opening to make sure no one was inside. â_____, are you sure no oneâs here?â
âSwear on my life, Mr. Filmbro.â
He had to trust you nowâor you had very little respect for your life.Â
He kept eyeing the DVD set you had in your hand. âAre you still not gonna tell me what weâre doing with that?â
You marched over to the shelf beneath the TV, settling yourself down. âCome here and Iâll show you.â You patted the empty carpet space next to you for added emphasis.
Hesitantly, he obliged, sitting cross-legged next to you. Finger pointing as it scoured the shelf, you carefully brought out one of the films from Mingyuâs selection, all the while sliding out a Disney film from your own set. âNow, tell me,â you began, as you showed him the two movies. âDo you think The Dark Knight and Mulan are a good match?â
First pulling a face at the choice, he then resorted to keeping his twist of features as he turned to you. âWhat the hell are you talking about?â
âSo like, you know Mulan is a woman disguising herself as a soldier in order to defeat the Huns and save her fatherâs honour, right,â you explained, though you had a small feeling he was not particularly listening. âAnd Batman is the same thing, except he dresses up as a fucking batâŠstupid furry.â
Vernon could not understand how you compared one of the most beautiful, nuanced depictions of a broken, three-dimensional superhero into a furry, but he needed to get to the bottom of your plan, once and for all. âNo, I mean, what are you doing? Why the hell are we here?âÂ
You tutted extra loud. âIâm gonna swap the CDs, dumbass!â You held up the princess movie. âThought Mingyu could say to me that Disney princess movies sucked, huh?â Then, the classic DVDâs turn to rise. âLetâs see how heâll like watching a talking dragon in China instead of a talking bat in Fantasyland!âÂ
The boy could only watch, shock growing with the successful swap of the movies, the secret Mulan CD safely tucked into the The Dark Knightâs DVD case. âItâs Gotham, actually,â he murmured, but he knew you were not listening. âWait, _____, we really just snuck into your exâs house to swap a few movies?â
You looked up briefly as you began opening another DVD case. âI mean, if you want to trash the place, thatâs fine, but you canât do anymore than what Mingyuâs dirty ass hasnât done already.â
Fair point. âI think youâre going insane. Like, clinically.â He kept looking at the door, which was closed shut. âHeâll kill us if he catches us.âÂ
âForget about us, youâre barely doing anything!â you exclaimed, tossing some of Mingyuâs movies to him. âCan you actually help me instead of complaining?â
What he should have done was argue with you properly, perhaps even make his escape and leave you to dig your own grave. Sure, he could not drive, but was it not just three pedals, a wheel and a dream? He could have left, never to see you again.Â
But then his eyes wandered to the Inception DVD scattered beside you, no doubt collateral damage as you took out the other Nolan films, and saw a Disney Princess movie sitting beside it. Sleeping Beauty, it read out, with the picture of some skinny blonde chick slumbering with a man overlooking her. He thought it a bit strange, almost creepy how this brunette was watching her.Â
And then an idea came into his head.Â
He closed his eyes for a fleeting moment, clamping his lips together. Please forgive me, Mr. Nolan, for what Iâm about to do.Â
Hand reaching out to grasp both DVDs, he opened one of his favourites, unclipping the CD. You glanced at him, swapping the movies around. You could not help your stare lingering a little, watching his lips pout, brows furrowed as he fixed the new CD in the Nolan set, as if the task was a serious one. Well, it was a serious task for you, but you expected more complaining.Â
When he looked up, he managed to catch a small smile on your lips before he quickly looked away. âAnd now youâre slacking,â he accused, closing the DVD and setting it atop the newly improved.Â
âWhatâs the plot for Inception?â you asked him, cracking open The Princess and The Frog.Â
âI thought you knew, since you laughed at me for saying it was my favourite.âÂ
âI donât know the full thing,â you admitted. âThe only reason I knew about it was because Mingyu never shut up about itâŠsorry about that, by the way.âÂ
Vernon sighed. âItâs fineâŠif I made fun of your Disney favourites, then bullying me for Nolan isnât the worstâŠI think.â He looked at your new suggestion before picking out Alien from Mingyuâs selection. âA thief has to implant an idea into this powerful guyâs mind, and he does this through infiltrating other peopleâs dreams. However, he has to be asleep while he does it.âÂ
As you began to laugh, he threw you an irritated look. You shook your head, unable to erase your smile. âThatâs a really good match.âÂ
His eyes widened for a moment, mouth parting. For a moment (and he did not know whether he was going to regret making this assertion), he did not care for Christopher Nolanâs disrespect, after seeing your reaction.
With that, the two of you sat in near silence, the crisp opening and closing of the DVDs, the sliding of the discs being the only sound between the two of you. The Princess of the Frog was successfully matched with the Alienâyou, unsurprisingly, had not watched the movie, but Vernon had watched both (one against his will, which you could guess), and thought it the best match. Brave was slotted into The Revenant's case, while Beauty and the Beast went straight into Panâs Labyrinthâs.Â
âOkay soâŠâ the boy held up the Pocahontas CD. âNative American princess falls for the coloniser? How the fuck are you defending this?â
You could only offer a sheepish smile. âThe soundtrack is really good?â
âKnowing Disney,â he crowed, cracking open the DVD, âThey probably have a song on how terrible the poor Natives are.â
You eyed him, surprised. âHow the hell did you guess that?â
First, Vernon made a face, as if he himself could not believe his excellent intuition. Then, he only laughed a little, taking out the Dances with Wolves DVD from the shelf. âIâve watched enough Disney movies with my sister to know how they work.â
âOh, so you have watched them?â you mused, watching him exchange the discs. âAll that time I thought you only watched what Mingyu watched.â
âNo, I watch foreign indie films like an asshole,â he clarified, shutting the cases, and putting Dances with Wolves back on the shelf. âThe thing is, I still have my grievances against the super popular films. You know the list you mentioned to me the other day?â You nodded. âMost of these film junkies get off on those movies. Iâll admit I like them, but Iâve seen so much better.âÂ
You snorted. âLike Inception?â Vernon watched you for a moment, biting the inside of his cheek. âWhat? You asked him, tilting your head.Â
He followed your movementâhe too, craned his head, his brown curls cascading along his forehead. âLike InceptionâŠand better.â
âBetter?â you gasped out, fingers rising to your bottom lip in shock. âDoes Mr. Filmbro prefer a movie over Nolanâs grandâno, best release ever?!â
âHa, ha,â he monotoned, only adding to your amusement. âItâs still his best film! But,â he added, shrugging a little, âI may or may not have lied to you the first time we met. Inceptionâs not my favourite movie.â
âWhat?!â you could barely contain your grin. âOh my God, if I find out itâs a fucking Disney movie, Iâm never letting you live it down!â
âLetâs not go that far,â he jeered, earning a harsh nudge of your elbow. âHey! You should be thanking me for my honesty.â
âHow about you extend that honesty and tell me which movie is your favourite?âÂ
Vernon mocked a ponder. âItâs a hard pass.âÂ
âCome on!â you pressed, scooting a little closer, almost reaching out as if to nudge him some more. âYouâve already committed a felony with me. Telling me your favourite movie is naturally the next step.âÂ
âBecause thatâs obviously how normal human interaction goes,â he countered, sarcasm clear in his voice.
âTell me.âÂ
âNo.â
âTell me!âÂ
âHmmâŠno!â he repeated, assembling the last of the DVDs. âMaybe if we raid Mingyuâs house next time.â
âOh?â Leaning closer, you paused his hands on the movie sets. âDo you want there to be a next time?â
It was then Vernon realised the implications of your question, a consequence of his own suggestion. It was almost comical, how his eyes widened like full moons, and he immediately shook his head. âNow you know thatâs not what I meant.âÂ
âThen what did you mean?â you asked him, and the way he exposed a slight stutter at your question had you laughing. âWould you want to see me again?â
What Vernon wanted to tell you was no, no, no, because another second with you would end with all the blood in his system rushing to his head, and other places. Damn everything and everyone, he would want to see you againâno. No. He wouldnât. He would not.Â
âYou havenât answered the question,â you said, snapping him out of his thoughts.Â
The boy was about to stutter out an answer when the two of you heard a door slam downstairs.Â
You whirled back, eyes instantly darting to the door. They then focused back on you, widened very much like his not long ago. â_____,â Vernon muttered.Â
âMr. FilmbroâŠâ
The furrow of his brow appeared for a split-second before it disappeared at the shuffling underneath. âWhat the fuck do we do?â he gulped out, looking around to find anywhere to escape from. This was itâhe thought he was getting away with trespassing just because you had convinced him to, but that fuckass ex-boyfriend was going to catch them in his bedroom, two inches away from kissing you, andâ
âWait,â you then said, catching his wrist in your hand. He barely had time to react to it before you shot up from your seated position, hauling the boy along with you. He stumbled, but then you nearly made him fall flat on his face as you ran to the shutter closets, sliding them straight open. The inside was a mess of branded clothing and boxes of sports equipment, but there was one opening with just enough for two people in trouble to hide.Â
You first went in, and, with a harsh tug, pulled him in with you. He crashed into you, but you had enough control to slide the shutter door shut. There was so much commotion that when you both finally stilled, breathing harshly as you heard Mingyu enter the room, Vernon blinked back to see your face about two inches away from him.Â
He was going to yelpâstrong on going to, because you sensed his incoming shock, and smacked your hand against his mouth. His eyebrows could have touched the top of his forehead, but what you noticed the most was the warmth of his skin, burning the longer your touch lingered on his lips.Â
The smile you offered him as you put a finger to your lips had him almost passing out.Â
âYeah, man, come round whenever,â was all Vernon could hear, still not comprehending Mingyuâs speech due to your hand. âNo, Minseoâs not here, what the fuck? Why do you wanna know where my sister is?âÂ
Slowly, ever so carefully as not to alert him, you pulled down on one of the blinds of the shutter, spying the movie which he was about to see. Vernon should have been following your movements, but he could only sense you, inching closer and closer to him till you were pressed against him. Of course, you were only trying to better your vision of your ex-boyfriend, but the boy beside you could not focus. The hand on his mouthâGodâhe needed, so badly, to be put down. Your fingers were soft, and although his lips could not help brushing against your palm, everything in him resisted the urge to react.
Quickly glancing at your accomplice in glee, you dropped your hand from his mouth, silently urging him to watch. He could have rebelled against your pulling away, but he instead obliged. Bringing his face next to yours, he glanced at you one last time before peering at the vision that welcomed.Â
There he was, the golden boy, raking his hair as he strolled into the middle of the room, observing the TV before him, and the DVD player sitting at the bottom. He kept humming, as if agreeing with whoever was on the phone. âYeah, yeah, Iâll go to that party laterâŠno, Iâm not bringing _____! You know about that already!âÂ
The boy in hiding quickly snuck a peek at you, who soured a little at the mention. âHmm? Yeah, whatever. What? Nah, Iâm just gonna watch a chill movie before leaving.â Mingyu scanned the films on his shelf. Walking over, he leaned down, sliding out The Shape of Water from his collection, cradling his phone between his shoulder blade and his craned head as he opened the DVD.Â
Vernon could not help pulling a face at Mingyuâs choice of a âchill movieâ being a film about a mute woman wanting to fuck a water creature. You probably did not understand the reference, but by the growing anticipation on your face, you only cared about the scene you two had created, and was about to unfold just then.Â
Mingyu slid the CD into the player, pressing play as he made his way to his frameless bed, settling down in the sheets. âYeahâŠno, no, itâs just starting.â
The two of you could hear clearly the opening credits, which began with the most obnoxious opening music of Disneyâs intro. Vernon was taken aback by how Mingyu did not realise it from that very moment, but considering he was too busy chatting pure shit on the phone, laughing to himself, the boy assumed he was simply waiting for the action to occur.
âAny minute now, Mr. Filmbro,â you whispered, oh-so-fucking close to him. He did not respond, merely a nod.
Craning his head to see through the shutters, he noticed the animation come to life, the ship within dangerous waters sailing with uncertainty. He snuck a quick glance at Mingyuâs face, which started garnering a little confusion.Â
âAre these extra credit scenes? I donât remember any of this,â he heard the OG filmbro complain.Â
You could not help the snort that escaped you. Vernon glared at you, but with little effect. âWhat?â you whispered. âI donât remember him being this thick.âÂ
âWhat the fuck is this cartoonâŠâ the two of you heard Mingyu pipe up. Finally, the buffoon is realising this is not the two-time Oscar winning animation, but the four-time Oscar winning CGI. âThis wasnât in the directorâs cut.â
You still could not believe how your ex-boyfriend was taking this long for the realisation to hit. Even when Eric jumped up on the screen, holding onto the shipâs ropes, the watcher only regarded the character intently, as if he was somehow part of the stranger film.Â
Only when, fifteen minutes in, Atlantis is finally introduced that something clicked in his brain. Mingyu tilted his head, thinking out loud. âWhat the fuckâŠ?â
Getting up from where he sat, he ended the call, informing whoever was on the other side that he would meet later. He took out the CD from the player, examining its exterior. âCanât see shit on this CDâŠâ He was not wrongâyou were smart, choosing the discs which did not have any images, confusing the boy all the more. âMaybe I put in the wrong oneâŠâ
He shrugged it off, taking out The Dark Knight instead, another easy, breezy movie to watch when The Shape of Water did not pull through. Now Nolan was a hard one to criticiseâVernon himself was a huge fan, but seeing Mingyu try to watch it irked him. A good thing, then, was it not, that he was bound for a second surprise?
Repeating the routine, he slid the secret CD, settling back into his frameless bed. âGreat minds, huh?â you whispered to him, and Vernon only rolled his eyes, not enjoying the dig against him in the slightest.Â
âYou dated him,â he griped, watching the movie start up.
âWaste of good looks,â you whispered, your partner-in-crime nodding in agreement. The movie beginning had you both falling silent as a bird of prey hits on one of the soldierâs heads. The scene is set in the cold mountains of China, but the sole audience does not catch it immediately.Â
âSo fucking weirdâŠâ Mingyu trailed off again, leaning forwards. âThis isnât the robbery sceneâŠâ
Of course it was notâthe idiot would not witness one of the best film openings in Vernonâs humble opinion. He would not feast his eyes to the workings of Jokerâs bank robbery, nor the cold one-liners from the incapacitated bank manager.Â
No, what he was served was the Huns crossing the Northern border, which, as the boy finally began to clock after a good ten minutes, was not what he was expecting.
âWhat theâŠâ once again, he heaved himself up, walking over to the player. âNow I know somethingâs wrongâŠâ
Both you and Vernon stretched further close, as much as the closet would allow, to peek at Mingyuâs frustration as he brought the CD out once more, examining the back and front. He then took out some more of his favourites, opening their cases and taking out the CDs, observing them closely. He was suspicious now. How could he not be, when he was expecting incel excellence, but was greeted with the same shit his younger sisterâhis crazy ex-girlfriend, evenâwould usually watch.
He blinked back.Â
His deathly stillness had the two trespassers pausing. You two looked at each other, faces losing any humour, perhaps recognising that he had clocked on. You watched the scene as Mingyu rapidly added one CD after another, expecting one movie only to have a Disney-fied replacement, completely botching his plans. Every movie that received such Disneyfication further enraged him, the grit in his teeth heard, the tick in his jaw visible.Â
The final straw was when the Godfather was slotted in, his all-time, unmatched favourite. There was darkness for the first few minutes, and he sighed too quickly in relief, about to lay back on his mattress.Â
Then, a curly-haired girl, a toddler at best, in huge green glasses becomes visible, being told to open her eyes.Â
âIs this where magic comes from?â
âWhat the fuck?!â
And as a conversation between the little girl and her elderly grandmother blossomed, there was a specific dialogue which sent the young boy over the edge.
âThis candle became a magical flame that would never grow outâŠand it blessed us with a refuge in which to liveâŠa place of wonderâŠAn Encanto.â
You nearly burst out laughing.Â
Mingyu, on the other hand, could have seen red.Â
âWho fucked with my CDs?!â he demanded to no one in particular, though in his mind he knew there was a culprit. âMy fucking CDs, man!âÂ
âDid you do the Godfather swap?â you whispered, barely able to contain yourself.
âTwo special families with one heir that doesnât feel connected to their lifestyle.â Vernon grinned at you, impressed with himself. âIt was too easy.â
âWhere did you even find the Encanto DVD? It wasnât in our set.âÂ
âI found it in his little filmbro shelf.â He ticked his head towards the boy in physical agony. âMy guess is that his sister is a Disney fan and left it in his mancave.â
âOh my God,â you got out, watching the melodramatic scene of your dear ex show rage akin to a teenage boy losing Call of Duty online.Â
âThat fucking bitch,â he guttered, over and over again as he threw the Encanto CD across the room. Those words came out, and the boy behind the shutters stiffened. Okayâthere is rage, and then there is straight up promise of violence. Vernon may not be much of a knight, but if they were caught, he knew he would have to protect you.
He hoped to everything that existed that it would not have to come to thatâVernon would rather fake having a heart attack and have you drag his body out of the Kim Manor.Â
It seemed as that might have been a real possibility, until the boy called out a threat to a name they were not expecting.
âMinseo, Iâm gonna kill you!â Mingyu roared as he stormed out of the room, undoubtedly on his way to destroy her room, even take his anger out on her Jellycat collection.
As you heard his frenzy disappear down the halls, the trespassers took this as the opportunity to escape the closet, Vernon already creating a little distance in case you come too close and cause his passing out.
âWe need to get out now,â he declared as you crept out of the wardrobe, his head whipping to the door which Mingyu left from.Â
You nodded, not quite looking at him as you dashed straight for the final DVD. âOh, Jesus,â He groaned, watching you scramble for the movie, trying horrifically to hide it within your clothes. âYou do realise he can come in any second!âÂ
âOkay, okay,â you said, hurrying over to the window. âWait, you can go first.â
Vernon raised a brow, following after you. âHow come you donât want to go first?â
You only ushered him further, grinning. âYou can peek at my ass again.â
âMy eyes will be closed,â he sniped, already carrying it out, trying his absolute best not to imagine your ass in his mindâmaybe stakeouts for goofy purposes were not for the weak-willed. âYou know, just for that alone, youâre going down first.âÂ
âWhatever suits you, Mr. Filmbro,â you almost chanted, aggravating him all the more as you stepped out of the window, beginning the trek down.Â
He looked down as you descended with one film in hand, still stealing glances at the only door in the room, terrified that the boy would burst through the door, see you both and bring about his downfall. Subconsciously, his fingers hovered just before his mouth, biting the skin around his nails. He knew he should have run himself over with an oncoming vehicle. A messy plan, but still fool-proof.Â
âStop panicking and come down here!â your voice snapped him out of his anxious frenzy. âI know youâre biting your nails off right now!â
The boy instantly repelled his hand, instead furrowing his brow. A little irritatingâscary, as well, reallyâhow predictable he was in your eyes. How quickly you had figured him out.
âAlright,â he said, absent-mindedly as he reached for the windowsill. He peaked down again, not realising how far down the descent truly was. Rationally, he knew it was not the worst drop heâd seen on the first floor, but the nerves had started affecting his mind. Now, this entire time he was watching you take one step, two steps down, but he did not have the strength to follow you.Â
Still, he knew it was now or never.
Vernon was going to be at your heels (or, more anatomically correct, at your head) when he heard a shuffle from behind him.
He whipped his head around, anticipating the worst.
The worst arrived in all his golden-skinned, empty-headed glory. Holding one of his DVDs, Kim Mingyu stood at the doorway, his eyes widening with every second they beheld the intruder, one leg out of the house, the other a moment away from heaving him up.
Oh. Jesus. Christ.
âThe nerd from film theory?â
Vernonâs face dropped.Â
The Nerd from Film Theory? The Nerd from fucking Film Theory?Â
It was then and there, in that exact moment of time, that the filmbro in question did not give a single care for what the popular boy thought of him. Vernon knew everything about this boy (whether he wanted to or not); his every class, his every terrible friend, even his film preferences, thanks to yours truly. Yet Mingyu did not even know his nameâdid not even bother to remember.
It was because of that that he managed to garner some essence of his bravado, finally settling both feet on the ladder steps.Â
He also decided to add in some corrections to Mingyuâs knowledge.Â
âJo March did not need any man after LaurieâŠin fact, she did not need any male support, asshole.â
For added effect, he raised his middle finger, as if the burn was sick enough to hurt.Â
Mingyuâs devastating response was a confused tilt of his head, clearly not understanding his reference.Â
It was enough time for Vernon to hurry his descent down, catching the former more off guard.Â
âWhat the fuckââ was all the boy heard before he quickly tried to travel downwards, feet nearly slipping on the steps by his sheer carelessness. Mingyuâs head popped out from the window, and saw the great ladder leaning against the sill, shocked gaze lowering to where Vernon was descending to.
When his eyes found yours, he could have choked on his gulp. Even more so when you smirked at him.
â_____?â
As Vernon finally dropped off the ladder, dusting himself off, he watched the two of you, staring each other down. When he gauged Mingyuâs fear of you, there was a small part of him that was filled with admiration.
Mingyuâs demand sounded more like a whimper. âWhat are you doing here?â
You only curled your lips further upwards, grinning like a wild animal. It chilled your ex-boyfriend to the bone when you held the Tangled CD up for him to see, with your other hand raising your middle finger.Â
âThis is for calling me a stupid bitch.â
His mouth dropped open. That gave you just enough time to grab onto Vernonâs hand, enveloping your fingers around his wrist.Â
And run for your life.
Vernon let out a yelp as he was yanked forward by your hold, barely hearing Mingyuâs loud curses and retreating back into the house, no doubt to follow after you twoâthe trespasser could only guess, much too occupied by your hand, a guiding beacon of mischief, never absent in his life as you ran and ran and ran out of the garden, out of the sleek maze which you two first entered, catching sight of the open garden gate.
The boy heard distant footsteps coming from the house, and as you both saw your car parked beyond the greater gates, you fished out your keys, finally letting go of his hand to dash over to the driverâs side, jamming the key in the lock. Vernon let out a startled noise as the car unlocked, wasting no time to jump inside, heart beating loud enough for the entire neighbourhood to hear. Mingyu appeared at the main doorstep at the exact same time, even more shocked to realise he had not noticed his ex-girlfriendâs car casually parked before him.Â
Just as you climbed inside, swivelling the keys into ignition, Mingyu began to run after the car, a mere ten seconds between him and catching you two.
âFuck, fuck, fuck, _____, just start it already!â the nervous boy in shotgun begged, his head swivelling back at every chance, heart lurching at every metre closer the filmnemesis crept.
The car revved to life at your signal.
It was time to get the fuck out of here.Â
âGO, GO, GO!â Vernon screamed at the top of his voice, fisting the handle at the roof of the car as you slammed on the accelerator, racing out of the driveway with Mingyuâs bellowing following after you. Of course, since he was a mere, enraged college student, and you both were in a (slight) state-of-the-art vehicle, you zoomed out of the neighbourhood, his curses fading with every turn further out, you managing to escape.Â
Vernon, because he had never done such a thing before, was still screaming to leave for the next ten minutes until you had had enough, swerving to the side of the road, not far from his DVD store. You almost crashed into the nearby park, frightening a few birds that expected peace within the sidewalk trees, only to be disturbed by a troublesome ex and a film-obsessed loser.Â
You gushed out an exhale, fingers gripping tightly to the wheel, almost as stunned as the boy beside you, who seemed to take in the townâs worth of air in his little body. But then, you realised the gravity of the situation, the sole movie at the back which could not be swapped, and the valiant escape from something you never thought you would come out of alive.
Just then, you burst into laughter.Â
The boy whirled his head to you, who could not stop the tumbles of laughter that escaped your mouth, hanging on to the car wheel as you cackled and cackled like the Wicked Witch of the West. Well, that was what you thought you sounded at that time, but you, as always, did not care.
Only that you were wrongâat least in Vernonâs eyes. You were wrong, because if you were laughing like some Disney villain, then he would have been more pissed offâenraged even. He was instead in awe, shocked at the raw guffawing that spluttered out of you without shame. Had the two of you not evaded a great danger? Nearly been arrested for your legally ambiguous behaviour?Â
For the first time in his life, he was not embroiled with dread.Â
There was no anxiety in his body, no essence of panic at the consequences of your actions. No, he could only stare at you and your mirth, and find himself raising his brows, the beginnings of a scoffed laugh creeping from his lips.Â
The more he looked at you, the more his own laughter joined yours.Â
And then you were both laughing, giggling beyond control at the narrow escape, and the near crash against some tree. Vernon knew how stupid this whole situation was, but strangely, he did not seem to careânot when you did not see it like that. A very odd prospect.Â
After a few minutes, when it finally seemed as if you would settle down, you sighed, leaning back into the driverâs seat. âWe should do that again.â
Despite the amusement lingering, he immediately shut the idea down. âNot a chance.â
You admired the ancient lining of the treeâs bark in front of the car. âThe way you were laughing with me just now, youâd think you want to commit crimes from now on.âÂ
A dramatic roll of eyes. âIâm not going to jail. They donât even have a TV there.â
âYou and your fuck ass movie collectionâŠâ
That brought out another chuckle from the boyâyou smiled at the notion. He then looked at the rearview mirror, where the last movie was splayed, all alone and away from the others. âKind of a shame we missed out on one last movie.â
âRight?â You followed his line of sight. âFuck, Tangled of all movies?â
âWait, isnât that the one with Rapunzel?âÂ
You let out an impressed hum. âA week of seeing my face, and youâre already catching on!â A mischievous raise of brows. âAnother month with me and you can sing all the tracks from the film.â
âYou really shouldnât have this much faith in me, _____,â he said, shaking his head. âPlus, this might be the one movie I didnât watch with Sofe.â He saw you perk up at the new name. âMy sister. Sheâs the one who forced me to watch all those Disney films years ago.â
âI like her already,â you mused, a finger on your chin. You paused for a bit, looking down at your shoes, settled lightly upon the pedals. Then, you started the engine once more. âSoâŠTangled is the only one you havenât watched, huh.âÂ
A glance at you. âYep.âÂ
You looked back, hoping to reverse away from the tree. âRightâŠâ You checked your watch, the car slowly moving out of the pavement. âInterestingâŠsuper duper interesting.â
It was something insane, fantastical the way Vernonâs nerves seemed to hum at the implications. âI donât like where this is going.â
âWhat? I just said that itâs interesting youâve never watched TangledâŠâ
The boy scoffed, crossing his arms. âThis is where youâre gonna force me to watch the stupid movie.âÂ
But then he caught the look of surprise on your face, as if you had been caught. âOh, Jesus, youâre not gonna let me out the car, are you?â
âNo, no!â you countered at once, raising your hands. âWell, yes as in I was hoping you would watch the movie with me, and no, I wonât force you.â You sighed a little, fingers back on the wheel. âYouâve already done so much today. If you want to go home, Iâll drive you straight there.â
He watched your expression, the prepared acceptance, the anticipationâthe sliver of hope, hiding itself amongst the flurry of other emotions. In all honesty, he was tired; the entirety of this evening had exhausted his social battery (which he doubted he had to begin with) and he still had some sound image work left back at the college studio. If it was any other person asking, he would have happily bunked them offâpretended that he had suddenly developed a terminal illness in the span of minutes, and begged them to drive him back home to âlive out the rest of his daysâ.
You, on the other hand, were a problem. He could not let you downânot anymore. Not after today.
When he let out a soft sigh, you were anticipating the worst. Then, he revealed the answer.Â
âLetâs watch a fucking Disney Princess movie.â

VERNON DID NOT WANT TO WATCH A FUCKING DISNEY PRINCESS MOVIE.Â
The moment you opened the door to your houseâa shabby, student house about twenty minutes from campusâstepping inside, he realised there was no way back, and that he had to humour your wish, or else lose respect in your eyes.Â
As you brought him down the small hallway, leading into the little living room, you quickly grabbed the takeout boxes of your flatmates, murmuring hurried apologies as you left the room. The boy looked around, the slight cracks of the blue walls, the 32â TV sitting at the opposite end of the fraying couches. Posters of Bridget Jones, Notting Hill, and other Hugh Grant movies were plastered on one end of the wall, while Vernon nearly had a jumpscare when he caught a life-size cardboard cutout of some Disney heroâthis one unrecognisable.Â
âThatâs the love of my life youâre staring at,â came the voice behind him, and he whirled to see you, a huge bowl of popcorn cradled in your hands. âWhyâre you standing in the middle like an idiot? Sit, sit!â Vernon obliged, making to settle on the sofas when you tutted. âAre you mental? No, sit on the bean bags near the TV!âÂ
How stupid of me to assume I could sit on furniture designed for sitting, he meant to crow, but the moment he settled on the bean bags, he instantly preferred their malleable comfort. When he let out a relaxed sigh, you huffed out a laugh, propping the bowl before him. âSee?âÂ
âI was gonna sayâŠâ Vernon trailed off, watching you press a few buttons on the DVD player. âWhereâs the CD?â
âAlready in,â you said, picking up the remote as you settled in the beanbag next to him, scooting closer. Catching a look at his face, you bellowed, âYes, Mr. Filmbro, I watched it recently!â
âHow recently are we saying?â
â...yesterday evening.âÂ
âAnd this is the masterpiece you wanna show me,â Vernon murmured, sneaking a look back at the cardboard cutout. âDonât tell me heâs the floozy thatâs leading the film.âÂ
You turned the TV on. âFine. I wonât tell you.â
He then looked at you. âOh, Jesus.â
âTrust me!â you then reasoned, putting a hand on the boyâs kneeâthe mere touch had his brain rewiring, nerves all ceasing to work on the one point where your touch remained. You really had to stopâfirst your hand was on his mouth in that damned (blessed) closet, and now this soft reminder. He tried his best not to fix his eyes on your lingering fingers as you carried on, âThis film is a modern classic. I promise.âÂ
Well shit, he thought. When you looked at him like that, you could have convinced him that Quentin Tarantino was a better foot fetishiser than a filmmaker.Â
âOkay,â he said, almost believing in your words.Â
With that, the landing page for the movie turned on, and there were the main characters; he assumed the chick with the long, blonde hair was Rapunzel, and the man behind herâwhich, Vernon thought, did not deserve to be celebrated as a life-sized cardboard cutoutâwas the love interest. Whatever.Â
âLetâs just get this over with,â he mumbled as you pressed the fated Play, anticipating the worst.Â
And as the two of you fell silent, Vernon still holding out on the popcorn, watching suspiciously at the screen, the voice of a man flooded the TV speaker.
âThisâŠthis is the story of how I died.âÂ
The boy immediately reacted, face dropping. âThe fuck?â he got out, catching the WANTED! Poster of the very man he bad-mouthed not two minutes ago.Â
âBut donât worry, this is actually a fun storyâŠand the truth isâŠit isnât even mine.âÂ
âWait, this dude is already dead?â he asked.
âJust watch the movie!â you answered impatiently, making the boy sigh and lean back into the bean bag.
âThis is the story of a girl named Rapunzel. And it startsâŠwith the sun.â
You wanted to keep your eyes rooted to the screen, watch the unfurling of Mother Gothelâs backstory, but that was precisely when the incessant complaining began.Â
âNow why are we already getting context of some random witchâs actions? Less telling, more showing, man!â Vernon kept his arms crossed, shaking his head at the TV. âOh, great, poor little king and queen in their big ass castle!âÂ
âHaving basic sympathy will take you great places, my guy,â you merely said, scoffing down the popcorn in the bowl. âTheir kid just got stolen by some crazy bitch.â
âYeah, yeah,â he murmured, piping down once more when the flashbacks ceased, and the present day was introduced into the story. On the screen, a small, green chameleon entered, camouflaging himself behind a pot of flowers. He guessed that the chick with the long hairâRapunzelâwould be finding him, and, lo and behold, he was right. In all fairness, though, it did not take a film degree to work that out.
He also did not need a film degree to guess that a musical number was about to be introduced, not even ten minutes into the movie. That he worked out all by himself, when the guitar riffs sounded. Beside him, you instantly brightened, smile widening as TANGLED morphed on the screen, the song about to begin.Â
It was around that point when, as he spared you a glance, he realised you were about to sing along.
âOh, Jesusââ
If his life was a romantic film, this would have been the perfect setup; the girl that made his heart flutter was seated dangerously close to him, bean bags already touching with shoulders barely following, watching the cheesiest animated movie. He could have seen the shot now, with his gaze turning rose-y as you would open your mouth and sing along to the song. Of course, you would sing beautifully, better than the original singer, and he would sit there, absolutely mesmerised.Â
Oh, he was stunned alright.Â
âSEVEN AM THE USUAL MORNING, LINE UPâ!â
The boy flinched at the sheer volume of your chantâscreech would be the better word for it, for he guessed singing was not one of your natural talents.Â
You could not see his judgement at all, eyes closed and clutching your fists to your chest, continuing the song. âSTART ON THE FLOOR AND SWEEP TILL THE FLOORâS ALL CLEEEEEANNNNâ!â
A scoff escaped him, not quite believing the scene before him. He was shocked to silence, the movieâs music now in his background, the forefront being your attempt to outsing the princess. Either no one had told you how horrendous your singing was, or you simply did not care for the opinions of others. A part of him hoped that it was the latterâfor you to be so comfortable in singing away, despite what others thought, made his judgement disappear.Â
Shamelessly you sang the entire number, up to the point where the scene cuts and the supposedly hot love interestâwhose name was Flynn Rider, apparently, which he should have known if he just read the poster at the start of the movie like a normal viewerâwas now trying to steal the crown jewels.Â
Vernon was too busy thinking about how stupid âFlynn Riderâ was as a name to realise that another song had just started. Immediately you changed your tune, your tone lowering, almost sultry.Â
This time, you looked at him when you started singing.Â
âLook at you, as fragile as a flowerâŠâ
âAyo?â A glance at the TV screen, where Mother Gothel was now singing. âAnother song?â
But you did not answer his question, only singing further as you reached your hand out to him. âStill a little sapling, just a sprout!â You continued, and, at that, your hand patted his mess of curls atop his head, mirroring Mother Gothelâs actions.Â
Blinking back repeatedly, he could not even shrug it off, stunned once again by how you were casually able to touch him and not feel anythingâwhile his entire system shuts down like a lagging desktop when it tries to run the Sims.Â
The overdramatic flair was present in your singing, changed from the sweetness of the previous song. It was crazy how you remembered each word, not slipping at any chorusâyou were a true fan, a committed admirer of the film. Even he could not comprehend knowing every single line of his favourites.Â
It was admirable indeedâto love a film as you did this one.
It was what made Vernon smile a little, turning away from your melodrama and focusing on the screen, where Mother Gothel now threatened to never be asked to leave the tower. Again.
This time, he would give the movie a chance. Thank God he decided to wake up.
The movie picked up the pace instantlyâhe had not expected Flynn to meetâand be whacked out by Rapunzelâs frying panâso quickly, and had reflected her dejection when the mother screamed at her. He could tell where this was going, especially with the thief now in the closet, but he found himself grabbing a handful of popcorn from the bowl without turning away from the screen.
By the time the third song of the movie came around, he was taken aback that it arrived further in, surrounded by the thugs of the Snuggly Duckling. Without realising, he turned to you, anticipating you breaking out into a song, but you were merely watching the movie, bobbing your head along to the beat.
Noticing his stare, you glanced at him. âExpecting a show?â
âSince you were giving them out without request, I figured this time would be like any other.â
You snorted, grabbing the popcorn. âIâm saving my heavenly voice for the best song, actually.â
Vernon mocked a gasp. âSo youâre telling me Mother Knows Best isnât the best feature?â
âDonât chat shit, Mr. Filmbro, because Mother Knows Best is one of the top five.â
âI look forward to seeing which song youâre holding out for,â he only said, turning back to the movie again. The popcorn ran out about this time, and you shot up from your bean bag, promising more as you exited the room, leaving him to continue.Â
By the time you returned, the protagonists were escaping, chaos ensuing all around them with the guards, his partners and that eccentric white horse chasing them. Ending up in the cave, they recognise a lack of way out, and although Vernon was aware that the movie ends on the happiest note, a small part of him filled with dread.Â
That dread disappeared instantly when Flynn confessed his little secret.
âEugene Fitzherbert?!â The boy demanded.
You chuckled at his disdain. âYeah, Flynn Rider was hotter. Eugene Fitzherbert ages him about forty years.â
âFlynn Rider was silly, but Eugene is straight up diabolical.âÂ
âHe is still fuckable regardless!â you shushed him, raising your pointer at him. âYou wish you had his sex appeal.â
The boy rolled his eyes. âYeah, let me just change my name to Bartholomew Whiteman real quick.â
âHey!â you whacked him on the arm, this time laughing heartily at his quip. âLet my man live!â
He decided to spare your fictional man any more bullying, taking in the town atmosphere where the two adventurers and Maximus had now ended up. âOoooo, the castle dances are my favourite scenes!â you gushed, scooping popcorn in one hand and eating with the other. âWait, look, look at the braid!â
âJeez, Iâm looking!â he insisted, watching the girls braid Rapunzelâs hair. Flynnâwhich Vernon is continuing to identify him as, because Eugene was too much for himâstared at her longingly at the results. Vernon used the popcorn as an excuse to gaze at you matching Flynnâs longing at the screen. Your head rested on your knees, locking your hands in front of them, forming a lazy smile. This smile remained throughout Rapunzel and Eugeneâs activities, even to the point when the couple were settled in a boat, waiting for the lights.Â
âItâs happening,â you declared, the smile widening as you released your legs from your hands. âOh my God, itâs fucking happening!â
Raising the volume, the boy watched the screen, where thousands of lanterns were sparking alight at the king and queenâs signal. The lanternsâ lights broke across the borders of the town, melting into the sea, the docked ships. Rapunzel had not noticed though, too busy dropping flower heads upon the waterâs surface, Flynn helpfully holding out the bunch.Â
As the princess dropped another upon the waterbed, she finally noticed the beginning.
It was then Vernon heard your favourite Disney song.
âAll those days, watching from the windowâŠAll those years, outside looking inâŠâÂ
You followed this time, not as loud as the other songs, quiet and soft, as if letting the blonde shine in her song. âAll that time, never even knowing, just how blind Iâve beenâŠââÂ
You exhibited the same excitement as Rapunzel, who, noticing the lanterns, threw off Flynnâs balance, hanging onto the curling bow of the boat.
The boy, however, was not really focused on the screen.
Because the music that surrounded the two crept into his ears, playing the strings of his senses; because the lights were off save for the TV, shining its dimmed lighting upon your face, making you glow with the dark purples, blues, golds of the Tangled scenery. He lost all interest in everything because you were looking something out of a daydream, watching the events of the movie as if they were scenes of salvation. The two of you were definitely not on any kind of boat, merely sitting on bean bags. Despite all of that, he began to floatâswaying from where he sat, as if he was truly settled on water.Â
âNow Iâm hereââ You put your hand to your chestâ âBlinking in the starlightâŠnow Iâm here, suddenly I seeâŠâ
You kept singing the lyrics, voice more subdued than your last outbursts, and Vernon could only watch you, the pure love of this song radiating off your very pores. Vernonâs anticipation rose with every octave of the singerâs voice rising, eyes never leaving your face, the parted mouth.Â
âStanding here, itâs oh! so clearâŠ!â
As the viewers themselves were about to observe the thousands of lanterns Rapunzel witnessed, Vernon himself waiting, he made the mistake of averting his gaze from you, if only to see the grand reveal.
It was what made you unconsciously envelop your fingers with his, clasping his hand with yours.
He whipped his head to yours, eyes widening to the point of spilling.Â
You were already looking at him.Â
When you sang the next lyrics, Vernon could have melted molten.
âIâm where Iâm meant to be!âÂ
And as the lanterns surrounded the protagonists, lighting up the entirety of the night, you sang the chorus to the boy in your little college flat, no one to witness it but two of you.
âAnd at last I see the light! And itâs like the fog has lifted!âÂ
Your voice was hoarse now, all the screech-singing catching up to you. Vernon, in another lifetime, would have instantly resisted, ran for the hills if it was literally anyone else in the room but you.
âAnd at last I see the light! And itâs like the skyâŠis newâŠâÂ
But it was youâyou holding his hand tightly, you looking at him with the light of the lanterns in your eyes, you opening up to him in your little haven, away from anyone else. Granted, you could have offered this performance to anyone, but he liked to thinkâshit, he was truly hopingâthat you would not have done this for anyone else.Â
You would have only sang your favourite song to him.Â
âAnd itâs warm, and real, and bright! And the world has somehowâŠshiftedâŠâ
Vernon watched you halt a moment, waiting for the next verse, your hand tightening in his.Â
âAll at onceâŠeverything looks differentâŠâ
You were rightâthe world had shifted underneath him, stilled under the dimmed lighting of this dingy living room. The two of you now faced each other, music still tuning from the TV, but the characters long forgotten, as if they never existed. Yes, you were right in that everything looked different, seemed different, as if he was seeing you for the very first time.Â
âNow that IâŠsee you.â
Shit. You were rather beautiful before him.
You paused then, watching his reaction. You tilted your head, thoroughly amused by the sheer awe that radiated from his face, but then you noticed his chest rise and fall, more unevenly the longer you observed him.Â
The next detail you caught was how his eyes darted downâdown to your lips.
It was the lips, which were watched so intently, that parted.
You attempted at a little humour. âOut of all my talents, I guess singing isnât one of them.â
But Vernon did not respond with words. Sure, he would have agreed with you, but singing was irrelevant now. Out of all these infinite talents you possessedâyour natural charm, your ease in making him laugh, your trespassing and eventual escaping of such crimesâVernon could not have given less of a shit about singing. Not when you were before him, bathed in an unnatural, extraordinary light, soft music playing in the background. Almost as if he had adorned the rose-tinted glasses, courtesy of the universe.
In any romantic comedy, he would have kissed her.
The boy was not known to be courageousâanything but brave. Real Life, Not Clickbait Vernon would have left by now. The Real Vernon should have pussied out.Â
You, however, looked a little too beautiful to be treated with cowardice.Â
âAre you going to kiss me, Mr. Filmbro, or are you gonna make me wait till the end of the movie?â
He parted his mouth for a split second, gob-smacked at your question. The twinkle in your gaze, though, had him spluttering out a harsh chuckle, craning his head down at the sheer absurdity of it all. But then he looked up, smiling, not quite believing what he was about to do.
âI should make you wait.â
That was what he said. What Vernon instead did was finally grow the two balls that were supposed to be hidden in his pants, leaning in and pressing his lips against yours.Â
Now the boy always wondered whether the movies were rightâwhen mouths would touch, move against each other, whether a fire would ignite between souls, whether one really felt as if they were not of this world.
It seemed like Hallmark-level bullshit to him, but the moment his lips touched yours, he began to float out of this room. A soft hum reverated from you, approval at his actions, and he could have burst as he felt you smile against him.Â
Maybe Disney was right. God, he really did not want to be in such accord with that stupid corporation, but they were onto something with the fireworks, the orchestral singing when couples kiss. He himself felt a choir-like chant all around him as he brought his hand to your face, angling it slightly so he could gain better access, boost your pleasure as he delved slightly deeper.
He was unstoppable. He was alive and ecstatic and delirious, opening his mouth wider, his other hand now finding your waist, snuffing out any distance between you two. It was not like he was a pro in these situationsâhe had only ever had one serious girlfriend, and that was at an age where a boy could get away with merely âfrench-kissingâ (as the kids back then would have gloated) your significant other. Again, he may have fooled around a little in college, too, but never had he experienced this haze of lust, this newfound desire.Â
This desire enhanced further when you slipped your tongue from the seams, sliding it along his as an invitation for more, and he could have honestly thanked that heinous hag Walt Disney for making movies you adored so much, to the point of showing him and landing him in this situation. Of course he indulged you, opening his mouth enough to let you inside. The sensation of your tongue slipping past his lips had a soft noise releasing from his throat.Â
Tangled was all but forgotten, the two of you too occupied being entangled with each other. You pulled him even closer, wrapping your arms around his neck, fingers brushing against the ends of his hair. The soft touches had every strand of his locks standing on edge, a wave of delight washing over him.Â
You were sagged into the bean bag, Vernonâs weight upon you sinking you further, but you did not mind itârelished it, his scent engulfing you, the sighs and soft murmurs of his every exhale haunting your eardrums. Who would have thought that a boy who could recite every Joker quote from The Dark KnightâVirgin Supremism you termed the talentâhad this kind of game hidden underneath? How was he able to ignite such powerful emotions from you?
How was Vernon âFilmbroâ Chwe able to make you feel so good you did not realise Tangled finishing right before you?
The two of you could have spent all night intertwined in each other, perhaps would have gone past the boundaries of mere making out. However, between the haze of his soft whispers to you, your own mist swimming in your head, you heard the starting music of the DVD reverting to the home page, and like instinct you opened your eyes, finding that the movie had ended.
You must have paused, because Vernon immediately stopped, concern staining his pretty features. His knitted brow, eyes laced with nervousness, shamed you for ever stopping. âWhatâs wrong? Did I do something?â
âOh, no, no!â You felt like a fool for the answer you attempted to give him. âItâs just, umâŠâ
He followed your line of sight, turning around. Once he realised, he looked back at you, you surprised to find a little shock replacing his concern. âWe were going for that long?â
Your smirk had his stomach knotting. âThis is what happens when you make out with someone you like, Mr. Filmbro.âÂ
He could not respond, looking away as his flushed face managed to redden some more. You only laughed at him, playing with the hem of his shirt, his arms still steady as they caged you. âYou are so lucky, you know.â
He quirked a brow. âAnd why is that?âÂ
âI would never miss the second half of Tangled for a man.â
It was so incredibly stupid, how he felt a semblance of pride at the notion.âHappy to know Iâm an exception.â
âYou do know Iâm gonna make you watch it again so you can say youâve watched it.â
Vernon tilted his head to the side, lost in thought. You watched him, anticipating. âThis is the part where you say youâd rather Mingyu jump you than rewatch Tangled.âÂ
âWell yes, butâŠâ He glanced over his shoulder, where your shelf of DVDs were stacked, a particular movie which had caught his eye previously now standing out all the more. âI, uhâŠâÂ
He looked back at you, and the self-conscious glint in his gaze had you watching his every movement. âI was hoping to show you my favourite movie instead.â
You were ready to make a comment on how you prided on avoiding Nolan films like the plague, but then you remembered the conversation at Mingyuâs house. Your eyebrows could have touched your hairline. âYou said I could never know.â
âWellâŠâ a small smile escaped him, slowly pulling himself away. âIf I am to be your exception, _____, then I suppose you can be mine.â
Gaping at him, you could only keep silent as he, with great effort on his part, heaved off you, making his way to the shelf. He was lucky, you thoughtâhad he been a moment slower, that comment alone would have had you kissing him again.Â
What quickly caught your attention was him sliding his pointer finger through your collection, a series of your favourites. The anticipation was rising, you not quite believing that Mr. Filmbroâs favourite film was within your arsenal. Weeks ago, you would have bullied him relentlessly for the ironic hypocrisy.
When he pulled out the fated DVD, you let out the greatest laugh.
The boy instantly frowned, but you did not realise, cackling and cackling away at the selection, the final boss of Vernonâs favourite film, nestled between his fingers. âShut up,â he mumbled, but again, you did not hear him, lost in the shrill sound of your laughter, erupting the room to life.Â
âOh, Jesusââ Your chortling did not seem to stop, almost to the point of hiccups. âYour assâŠthis entire timeâ!â
âAnd suddenly Iâm leaving!â Vernon announced, getting up and about to drop the DVD.Â
He did not last long in his determination when you grabbed onto the end of his shirt, grinning still. âThank God youâre not a Nolan kiss-assâŠthatâs all Iâm saying.â
All he could do was stand like an idiot, the tips of your fingers caressing the skin just above his trousers. âBut I am a Nolan kiss-ass,â he murmured, crossing his arms.Â
âThatâs what I thought, too, but this filmââ you jerked your head towards the prize in his hand. âYouâve redeemed yourself.â
âStop it,â he only said, crouching down to pull out the Tangled CD, replacing it with the new, and, in his opinion, improved movie. âThis is why I didnât want to tell anyone.â
âAnd nobody will know,â you assured him, watching the movieâs main menu pop up, the PLAY option highlighted. âThisâll be our secret.â
âFirst the trespassing,â Vernon began, sitting down beside you, âThen the tampering of movies, and now this.â He grabbed the remote, about to play the movie. âHow much more are we gonna sneak around?â
You looked at him, and the smile you offered him had him glancing awayâonly for a second. âHave you not had fun, though? Sneaking around with me?â
Normally, in a situation where he had zero balls, he would have evaded such a question, not fanned the flames of your fire. But tonight he had watched a Disney movie with you, felt your fingers caressing his skin, had even kissed you in the purple hues of Tangledâs light. Tonight, he could conquer the world.
What would answering a heated question do any harm?
Vernon locked eyes with you then, trying to fight his smile. âI think I could have fun with you anywhereâŠin secret or for anyone to see.â
As something in your gaze shifted, he turned the film on (an entendre which was completely intentional).Â
Once again, the two of you were in the same position, watching yet another film, this time anotherâs all time favourite. The narrator began in a strange, European accent, explaining the tale of an unfortunate princess, much like Rapunzel, and her dire situation.Â
Although it was undoubtedly his most treasured film, the boy had a very hard time paying attention when all he could feel was that penetrating stare of yours, capable of revealing his very soul from beneath his measly shirt. Even when the stranger main character was introduced, following his main routine in his strangest abode, Vernon was not particularly concentrating anymore.
Not when he heard your voice, a soft question amongst the gaudy music of the 2000s. âDo you mean that, Vernon?â
And perhaps it was because you said his actual name, especially when your voice sounded likeâŠlike that. Like something from a perfect movie soundtrack, akin to the end-credits of an unforgettable TV show.Â
Because he was too occupied with simply admiring you, he merely nodded, biting the inside of his cheek.
And because you were too busy admiring him, his words, the entire night where you had felt pure, euphoric joy, you did Mr. Filmbro a little dirty by making a decision that negated his film.
You shifted closer once more, hands reaching out to hold his face.Â
This time, Vernon was prepared when you kissed him.
There was a certain eagerness in your lips this time which was newerâmore enjoyable to his senses. It made sense now, why all these couples in movies made out for hours and hours on end. He felt as if he could kiss you forever, move against your mouth, delve inside until his tongue memorised your very imprint.Â
You moaned a little louder this time, and the very sound had his heartbeat racing, moreso when, as he pressed you against him, shifting upon his beanbag, he knew then and there that something in the air shifted.
Last time, you had stopped. This time, there was no such indicationâthe very thought had him skirting his hands around you, holding you tight enough to never let go.
Stillâeven with such possibilities, there was no way you and him would escalate to the point of losing his virginity.
Whatever happens though, he will still watch the end of his favourite film.Â
Whatever happens, Vernon would not be having sex with you if Shrek was playing in the background.

VERNON LOST HIS VIRGINITY WITH SHREK PLAYING IN THE BACKGROUND.
Certainly not his greatest achievements, considering he could not focus on his favourite movie, but it was certainly not his fault. You wereâto put it quite plainlyâhot as fuck.
He did not leave until the very next day becauseâas he had stated that nightâhe still wanted you to watch Shrek, and did, somehow, end up watching it properly. You did not stop teasing him, and he did not stop shutting you up by kissing you senseless.Â
Unfortunately, the boy did have college the next day, so he had to leave at some point, but not without promises of meeting you again. This time, however, you two did not continue the crimes he committed with you. You and Vernon were not modern-day Joker and Harley Quinn.
When the two of you were not terrorising Mingyuâs livelihood, you decided to hang out at the filmstore, where it all began. Vernon would host weekly movie nights, and both of you would eat popcorn and watch each otherâs recommendations, scoring them differently in accordance to what was most important for each other.
For the film majoring student, the rating was influenced not only by the actorsâ performances, but also from the intricate storyline, the character developments, their relationships. A story, for him at least, was about relationships. Good cinema was about the chemistry between two actors, the emotional connection they had not just with each other, but also their effect on the audience. The actual editing of the film, too, was another bullet point in his criteria.
Your rating, on the other hand, differed slightly.Â
âMichelle Yeoh is such a MILF,â was your only comment upon finishing Everything Everywhere All at Once.Â
This comment nearly made Vernon lose his mind. âOne of the greatest movies of this decade, and this is your only input?â
âBut am I wrong, though?â
Vernon sighed a little at thatâat the end of the day, you were absolutely in the right. There was a reason Crazy Rich Asians went platinum in his dingy little room.Â
Of course, it was not just his personal recommendations that played. You had compiled a list of your all-time favourites, going beyond Disneyâs borders, and Vernon was introduced to the dashing timeless genre of the rom-com. Now having a younger sister who (he thought) was a basic bitch meant he did possess some knowledge of the genre, but he had never really sat down and watched a rom-com without falling asleep in Sofiaâs bed.Â
For you, though, he braved the most famous romances, which he found himself enjoying more than he would have likedâmore so when he found one of his favoured actors in 10 Things I Hate About You.
âHeath Ledger singing was something I never thought I needed,â Vernon commented as the ferocious couple finally kissed.Â
âAnd this is the same fella who was the Joker in your little Nolan film,â you reminded him, as if he was not aware already. âOh, and he was the gay cowboy in that movie.â
âGay cowboy?â His confusion lasted for approximately thirty seconds before he groaned, pushing you over on your beanbag. âMy god, are you talking about Brokeback Mountain?â
âYes, that one!â you exclaimed, picking up the TV remote. âMy guy has range, but him as a high schooler is still my favourite role.â
âYou do realise how bad that sounds, right?â
âYou know what I mean,â you said, waving him off as you began searching for the next movie. âNow, Two Weeksâ Notice or The Proposal?â
Vernon endeavoured to weigh in on the options. âWhich one do you think Iâd like?â
âWell, both have Sandra Bullock in themâŠâ
He looked over both DVDs. âNow thatâs a white woman I can get behind.âÂ
You scooched a little over to him, locking your hands together. âWe can watch something you likeâŠâ When he knitted his brows together, not quite answering you, you went on, almost unable to look him in the eye. âYouâve been super nice, you knowâŠsitting through all my favourites.âÂ
The boy could not help it, unable to let a smirk slip. âIs this _____ appreciating me for once?â The beginnings of his shit-eating attitude did not develop, since your smack on his arm completely snuffed it out. âOw, damn!â
âYou deserved that,â you muttered, beginning to scoot away until Vernonâs hand on your wrist stopped you.Â
When you focused your gaze at him, he already beat you to it. âLetâs watch both today.âÂ
It was silly, how that made your heart beat faster. âReally? You would watch two rom-coms in a row?â
As his hand pulled you closer, his stare had you almostâalmostânervous. âIâve done worse for you.â
âVery true,â you said, absent-minded, more lost in the twinkle of his eyes. âVery, uhâŠgood point.â
Vernon thanked all the higher bodies that may have existed for the pure, unadulterated rizz he was attempting to spew. âIâm full of good points,â he crowed. âNow, are you going to stare at me all night, or are we going to watch Sandra Bullock?â
Although your cheeks burned, you pushed him off, earning a chuckle from him. âDonât get ahead of yourself, Mr. Filmbro. The only man Iâll be staring at will be Ryan Reynolds in The Proposal.â
All of the boyâs suave attitude dissipated at his shock. âThe Deadpool guy?!â
âRyan Reynolds did have range before,â you explained, shaking your head. âThen the superhero bug bit him.â
âWhat a shame,â he only said, as if Vernon did not follow the Deadpool universe to the point of possessing special editioned comics in his room. Still, he happily slotted the CD inside the player, and excused himself to make more popcorn for the two of you.
As the boy prepared snacks, glancing back every time at the opening scene, he managed to sneak a look at you, eagerly watching the screen.Â
He could only smile, putting all the popcorn in the huge bowl before hurrying back to you.Â

THIS WAS PROBABLY THE FIRST TIME YOU WORE A SUIT TO A CINEMA. PERHAPS THIS WAS THE FIRST TIME YOU WORE A SUIT AT ALL.
Admittedly, it was not as if you had intended to go into the cinema in formal attireâor, at least the only formal clothing you had. Your first plan was to steal something from your fatherâs wardrobe, but when you tried it on, it did not fit properly, and you refused to look like an idiot in public.
Not that you cared much about looking like an idiot in public before, but there was another person to look out for. And that person, although had already done embarrassing enough actions for you, did not want to push it further. One more ceremonious act of humiliation, and Vernon would have run a thousand miles from youâor that was what you thought.Â
You observed your cinema fit one last time before your bathroom mirror, fixing the lapels for the nth time. Your rented three-piece suit was almost a second skin, waistcoat snug underneath the tweed jacket, matching coloured trousers adorned alongside. You borrowed some Oxford brogues from a friend, which made you realise that you had more posh friends than you knew. You tried to find a hat similar to the one Cillian Murphy wore in the promotions, but because you did not have the wardrobe of a middle aged man, you resorted to let your head rest.Â
All of this elaborate planning to see Nolanâs (apparently) greatest release yetâOppenheimer.Â
Because the cinema was not far away from you, you decided to walk, messaging your date to let him know that you were on your way. You were certain he was already there in the cinema; Vernon, since you had started hanging out more with him, had only ever talked about Nolanâs upcoming epic. You swore if you recited the IMDB plot out to him during sex, he would have spunked within minutes (a mental note to experiment on that later). His excitement had you booking midnight release tickets, which consequently made him so happy you thought you had invited Nolan to the town cinema.Â
The night, furthering along, had beautified the black sky, stars twinkling on your journey. The consistent vibrations from your phone indicated the boyâs imminent excitement, and you smiled, double-checking your formal attire once more. You would have romanticised the nighttime further but living in student area brought you right back to fearing slightly for your life, so you quickened your step, cinema already a close speck in the distance.Â
You knew you were nearer to the destination when the flocks of pink and black grew, the cowboy hats and fake pipes all piling up in your vision. Seeing the pink reminded you of Barbieâs influence, also being released tonight alongside the more serious counterpart.Â
A small part of you really wanted to see the midnight release for the new movie. The original plan most people were following was either to watch Oppenheimer and then Barbie, or the other way around. You were so close to procuring tickets for the latter, but decided that it was important to accompany Vernon to the seemingly bigger release. After all, you were never as excited about films as the dear film major you had rather grown to like.
Another vibration of your phone, and you finally decided to stop ignoring said-film major and text him, possibly informing you of his arrival.
mr. filmbro: yo where u at
mr. filmbro: theyâre too many pink mfs out here im getting suffocated
You rolled your eyes.
_____: im coming to save u kitten.
mr. filmbro: :0
Once you were inside, it was a complete sea of pink and black and grey. Two sides, which one would assume would be opposing, were all celebrating, sharing their drinks, anticipating when the theatre doors would open to let everyone in. Within this myriad of fans, you tried to search for the most mentally ill oneâthe one who you were certain had a finer three-piece set than you, who would have happily stolen Cillian Murphyâs set clothes to truly honour the movie.Â
Strangely enough, after a few minutes, you could not find him, even after confirming your seats. You searched for anyone wearing anything devoid of colour, but did not find the boy. This time, you decided to bother him, calling him and pressing the phone to your ear.Â
âWhere are you, kitten?â you purposely growled, lowering your voice an octave. âDaddyâs waiting.â
âKitten actually killed himself after hearing that,â was his purposeful monotone.Â
âCan you resurrect yourself for me real quick? Iâm tryna find where you are.âÂ
âIâm next to the Oppenheimer popup.â Immediately you tried to find it, scouring through the crowds. âI figured youâd find me easier.â
Scoffing, you ignored the Barbie stalls, walking further ahead. âHow very smart of you to wear Oppenheimer clothing while standing next to it. So much easier to find you, isnât it?â
He did not retort back, instead inciting your excitement. âWait, I think I can see youâŠ?â
Your eyes darted over to the fresh faces of the Nolan fans, all taking pictures of the cast pop-ups. What you were observing were the men and women, all lack of colour.Â
What your gaze ended up on was someone completely different.Â
What you were expecting was a mini-Oppenheimer, the too-large blazer, the sashed hat upon pretty brown curls. What you received instead was a boy engulfed in all the pinks of the colour wheel.
Pink was the colour of his top, bubblegum pink the colour of the stringy fur coat sporting over said shirt. Magenta was the colour of his flared trousers, whilst rose was the colour of his converse. What topped off the entire look was the hot pink cowboy hat, sitting perfectly upon his wavy locks, completing his fitâa fit which was perfect for the Barbie movie.Â
It was around that point that he caught on to your stareâthrough the oceans of opposing fans, he, too, finally found you.
Vernon heard your curse murmur through the phone. âOh my fucking God.â
That was when his own gaze roamed over you, shocked and shameless amongst the crowds. Not that the crowds mattered, not anymore. He was a little nervous, he had to admit it to himself, only because there were so many people, and they were only watching for the fad, for the trend. A part of him wanted just you and him in this midnight cinema, the biggest official date yet.Â
But then seeing you here, in all your black-clad, Oppenheimered glory, had stunned him to his core. Although he had specifically brought you here to watch the movie, he had completely expected you to arrive in the pinkmania fit. Because you had kindly booked tickets for his anticipated film, he thought at least to participate in the Barbie craze fit.
It was like instinct, how his steps gravitated towards you, his phone still pressed against his ear, very much like you. You followed him slowly, hearing his ragged breaths through the speaker, watching him walk closer and closer until you both were a mere couple of feet away.
Only then did you drop the call, your hands at your sides as you admired him. It was a while before any of you spoke.Â
Like always, you spoke first. âTell me the fur coat is yours.â
A ghost of a smirk. âSofiaâs.â
âStealingâs like second nature to you now, isnât it?â you taunted.Â
Like always, he dodged your taunts. âI thought you were gonna wear all pink.â
âI thought you were gonna wear all black.â
He tilted his head. âWell, I thought since we were watching both moviesâŠâ
Your confusion was clear, the corner of his lips curling further up. âWasnât Oppenheimer first?â
He then went inside his flared trouser pockets, fishing out two ticketsâits colours matching his outfit. âI know how much you wanted to see Margot Robbie be silly.âÂ
âI did!â you exclaimed, taking the tickets from him, admiring how pretty they were designed, especially when compared to the Oppenheimer marketing tickets. In your admiration, though, you noticed a detail which had your excitement faltering. âWait, are you sure? It says the movieâs at the same time.â
Vernon then checked the timings, mouth parting. âOh shit. Didnât think about that.â He shook his head, mouth straightening in a line, dejected. âThis is what happens when I try to do something romantic.â
âI have to give points for effort,â you offered, bringing your hands to his wrist. âHey, itâs okay. Letâs watch Oppenheimer, honestly. Cillian Murphy is still hot when heâs old.â
âNo, no,â he countered, clasping your hands on his wrist. âItâs chill.â He glanced down. âLetâs do Barbie first.â
You attempted to argue him on this, but he simply let go of your hands, with his one hand wrapping around your waist, and the other handâs wrist being checked for the time. You bit back a smile at his mere actions, relishing his fingers skirting under the suit, the waistcoat. âVernon,â you attempted.Â
â_____,â he said back, staring at you with an awe that you would have deserved had you worn a couture gown, not some rented hand-me-downs.Â
You knew he would not take no for an answer now. âBut what about Oppenheimer?â you asked anyway as the two of you made your way to the cinema.Â
Vernon only pretended to think extremely deeply of the situation, making you elbow him playfully. âNow tell me, Dear Disney Hag, how did we enter Mingyuâs house?â
âWhy, we walked straight in!â you answered like an over-enthusiastic student, in which he sarcastically clapped for you.Â
âRight on.â As you both walked towards the Barbie theatre, the opposing movie was being screened right beside you, where people were bursting in. âSee how everyone is walking in right now?â He gave you a knowing glance.Â
That knowing glance had you scoffing in excited disbelief. âMy God! Look at you, all ready to commit crimes!â you looped a hand around his arm. âI have taught you well, young man.â
He patted your arm. âMr. Filmbro has come a long way from chatting shit about your movie taste.â
âSo you admit it?â you leaned in. âDisney makes better movies than your flop directors?â
âThatâs a completely different claim,â he clarified. âMy taste in films is objectively better.â
âStill doesnât change the fact you're watching the Barbie movie before Oppenheimer.â
He rolled his eyes, tugging you closer. âThatâs âcause I like you a lot, Disney HagâŠâ
You did not stop your smile from lighting up your entire face. âYouâre not the most insufferable filmbro Iâve dated I guessâŠâ
âI better be the last filmbro you date,â he muttered, watching over the last of the crowds, where they now stood, waiting to enter the theatre.
The longer you waited to answer him, the more incredulous his face became, brows knotted in disbelief. You only chuckled, leaning in and pressing your lips upon his. Of course, he was taken aback, but surprises like these were pleasant, welcomed with open arms as Vernon closed his eyes, pulling you in.Â
The moment the line started quickening you broke away, only to make sure no one skipped in front of you and him, and thus deal with yours and his passive aggression. You could not help the giggle that escaped you at breaking away from his lips, relishing in his dazed state.Â
Honestlyâyou truly would not have minded being anywhere with him.
When it was finally your turn to go inside the Barbie screening, you held tightly to his hand. âLetâs go, Mr. Filmbro.â
Vernon only smiled. âRight behind you, _____.â
And as the two of you entered the theatre, hand-in-hand, the boy learned that perhaps he, too, would have gone anywhere with you.Â
#k-fic collection review#chee chats about: filmbro-zoned by amourcheol#svt rec#svt fanfic#f: seventeen#p: chwe hansol x reader#g: fluff#g: comedy#g: suggestive#g: college au#r: sfw#wc: 20k to 30k
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veiled reverence â r . sukuna
pairing â soulmate! heian era sukuna x reader
synopsis â youâre the last survivor of a village destroyed by sukuna, the king of curses. when your soulmate mark flares upon meeting him, youâre bound in a way you never expected. taken to his shrine, youâre forced to stay in his presence, where the weight of his past actions looms over both of you, and the line between survival and resentment blurs.
estimated wc â around 30k.. (forgive me)
full fic release date â end of june/early july
teaser wc â 647 words
taglist status â open
warnings â explicit sexual content, mentions of cannibalism, dead bodies, mentions of not eating, depression, some angst, sukuna ryomen (he needs his own warning), probably inaccurate portrayal of the heian era but i tried my best to research, will add more as i go along
In the Heian era, where fate wove itself into the fabric of existence, every soul was born with a markâa silent promise etched into their skin. These marks, unique in shape and placement, remained dormant until the moment destiny called. When soulmates met, the mark would burn, igniting a bond deeper than mere mortal understanding. To find oneâs soulmate was considered a divine blessing, a path to prosperity and harmony. To reject them was to defy the heavens themselves.
But fate was never kind.
And as Ryomen Sukuna stood amidst the ruins of a village he had torn apart, he never expected his own mark to sear with painânor to hear a scream that was not born of fear, but of something far worse.Â
Recognition.
Clawed hands carelessly tossed the limp body aside, a dull thud swallowed by the crackling remains of the village. Blood still lingered on his tongue, warm and metallic, but it was not the taste that made Ryomen Sukuna freeze. It was the searing, agonizing burn on his ribsâthe jagged, ink-black mark that had sat dormant for centuries now alight with a fire unlike anything he had ever known.
This could not be happening.
He was a curse. Yes, he bore a mark like all beings did, but soulmates were chosen by the heavens. The higher ones, in all their cruelty, had long abandoned him. Cursed beings were not meant to be loved. They were meant to wander, to ruin, to destroy. That was the law of the world. And yetâ
Sukuna grunted, his four crimson eyes narrowing as the sensation pulled at him, an invisible thread winding tighter, dragging him forward. It was not a conscious choiceâhis body moved of its own accord, muscles tensing as something deep, something ancient, willed him to go toward.
The ground beneath his feet was littered with the remnants of what had once been a village, the stench of charred flesh thick in the air. A smoldering hut collapsed somewhere in the distance, its wooden beams snapping like brittle bones. Sukuna barely noticed. The burn along his ribs was growing worse, hotter than the flames he had set upon the village, hotter than hell itself.
Through the smoke and ruin, he saw it.
A figure, small against the backdrop of devastation, hunched over as though in pain. Her breathing was ragged, unsteadyâalive, but barely.
Sukunaâs lip curled.
Impossible.
And yet, even as he sneered, even as his rational mind screamed at him to turn away, his feet carried him forward.Â
It was as if the moment his eyes fell upon her, the searing pain along his ribs dulledâreplaced not by relief, but by something far more unsettling. That strange, unseen force that had yanked him through the ruins, that had commanded his body to move without his consent, now seemed to settle, coiling around him like a vice. The angry burn of his soulmate mark, a fire that had threatened to consume him whole, now smoldered into a dull throb the closer he stood to her.
Ten feet. That was all that separated them.
Emotions stirred within him, a chaotic maelstrom that he could not nameâbecause why should he feel anything at all? He was Ryomen Sukuna. He had scorched entire villages to the ground without a second thought, torn through flesh and bone with the same carelessness one might crush an insect beneath their heel. And yet, standing before this fragile, insignificant thing, something twisted inside of him.
Anger. That such a thing as soulmates dared to bind him, to claim him. That fate itself had the audacity to force this upon him.
Confusion. Because this should not be possible. Because curses were forsaken, meant to walk the earth unloved, untethered. Because he was Sukuna, and he had been told his existence was an affront to the heavens themselves.
Intrigue. Because she was not screaming anymore.
authors note â bro i actually wasn't gonna write up until like july/august because i'm in peak exam season rn (i'm literally posting this during my break from studying someone save me) but ANYWAYS!
i was innocently going through my docs to find these notes i took all the way back in like feburary and i come across this... half finished fanfiction of heian era sukuna i wrote, intending to post it on my old blog, and i see that i've written majority of it already? it was like winning the lottery... and so i was like ok why nawt post ts for all the lovely people who were begging me to write more of sukuna??? heh..
i'll try and portray him mean as possible in this but i need you guys to understand that i cant entirely portray him as his asshole canon self because of the soulmate au im writing him in and ugh you guys'll realise the more you read it but omg i need to stop blabbering rn and get back to work but YEAH haaaaahaaaaa ok bai.
love you all!
#jujutsu kaisen#ryomen sukuna x reader#ryomen sukuna#sukuna x reader#ryomen sukuna x reader smut#ryomen sukuna x reader fluff#sukuna ryomen x reader fluff#sukuna ryomen smut#ryomen sukuna smut#sukuna ryomen#jjk sukuna#jujutsu kaisen smut#jujutsu kaisen x reader#sukuna smut#ryomen smut#sukuna fluff#ryomen sukuna fluff
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đ»đșđŒđ đđ đżđđđŸđđœđ | đŒđđđ đđđđ»đđ : ÌÌâ



summary: when global idol Choi Soobin returns to his quiet hometown for an unexpected hiatus, the last thing you expect is to run into himâthe boy you once shared everything with...until you cut him off without a word.
you swore youâd never let yourself want him again. he swore heâd stop waiting for you to look back. but this time, neither of you is quite ready to walk away.
cw: sub!soobin, dom!reader, idol!au, angsty!!, fluff, slow and i mean slowburn, friends to lovers, mentions of death, implied depression, mental health issues (pls take care of urselves), unprotected sex, smut, reader just can't process emotions well
wc: ~30k... forgive me...or love me idk....
i was really inspired by netflix's new kdrama called "our unwritten seoul" and their friendship to lovers dynamic but was also gobsmacked at txt's new tour dates announcement after writing this so...PERFECT :DDDD. this is basically both of those things. you can tell because of the humidifier mention. like bro it's so random.
part one | part two
The aroma of freshly brewed coffee fills the space as sunlight filters through half-open blinds, casting a warm glow on the cluttered desk. You, dressed in a cozy sweater and gingham pajama pants, sit up right on your bed, losing track of time as you doom scroll on reels. Your cat, Peanut, curls up beside you, purring contentedly.
You pause, glancing at the clockâ8:45 AM. With a sigh, you set your phone down and begin your morning routine which basically just consisted of just washing your face. As you make your way to your living room, you begin to tidy up last nightâs dirty dishes that sat on top of the coffee table.
Your house is modest but filled with personal touches: framed illustrations, a collection of obscure game discs, and a bookshelf overflowing with novels.
After you get yourself dressed, you step outside for a walk, your sneakers hitting the pavement in rhythmic thuds. You pass by the local cafĂ©, where the barista waves at you, and the bookstore, where you stop to browse the new arrivals of manga. Afterwards you take the bus to the nearby hospital.Â
This had become your routine every Wednesdayâa bit repetitive, perhaps, but it was what you enjoyed. The endless stretch of countryside outside your window had never been the life you envisioned in your twenties.
You had imagined a high-rise apartment in the city, a high-paying job, and a life surrounded by people who didn't know your nameâall amidst the buzz of urban life. But circumstances have kept you here, in your hometown.
At first, the monotony felt suffocating. The same roads, the same faces, the same small-town rhythm. Yet, over time, you began to find comfort in the predictability.
The quiet mornings, the familiar greetings, the slower paceâit all started to feel like home. You had traded the city's chaos for the calm of rural life, and while it wasn't the life you had planned, it was a life you were learning to appreciate. In the simplicity of the countryside, you discovered a deeper connection to yourself and the world around you.
You hated it from time to time, sometimes cursing and beating yourself up for staying with what feels familiar, but what could you do?Â
â
As you stepped into the sterile hospital corridor, the faint scent of antiseptic mingled with the soft hum of distant conversations. With a sigh, you adjusted the strap of your bag and made your way to room 307. As you approached the door, you noticed it slightly ajar.Â
Pushing the door open, you see your mother first, who seemingly is having a conversation with another person in the room. Upon opening it further, you found that it was your motherâs best friend, Mrs. Choi, sitting beside the bed and chatting animatedly, that was keeping your mother entertained. Mrs. Choi looked up, her face lighting up with recognition.Â
âThere you are!â she exclaimed, rising from her seat to lead you to your motherâs bed. Her eyes flicked to the bags of home-cooked food hanging from your elbow and the two iced Americanos wrapped around your hands. âLooks like your mom will be eating for two all week!â she teased, taking the bags from you and placing them alongside her own on the bedside table.Â
You let out a soft laugh, extending your arm toward Mrs. Choi. "This is for you, Mrs. Choi. You must've gotten up early this morning." You bowed slightly, politely offering her the other coffee in your hands.
âOh dear, it looks like Iâll be having a caffeine rush today!â She joked, which made your mother let out a laugh as well. You look at both of them confused, yet still wearing a smile on your face.
You see her lift up an almost empty cup of coffee, one that was exactly from the same place where you got yours. âAhh~, I seeâŠâ Your murmur. Mrs. Choi already bought coffee for herself.Â
You set the other coffee down by the bedside table and turned to your mother, who was propped up on the bed, flipping through a magazine you had gifted her last week. "How are you feeling, Mom?"
Your mother looked up, offering a reassuring smile. "Better now that you're here." You smiled, sliding your hand down her cheek, your heart melting at the tender moment you were sharing.
Just then, the door swung open, and a nurse entered for your mother's morning check-up. You stepped aside to let her pass and shared a glance with the two ladies inside the room before making your way out to the hallway.
You always left the room during these times, finding that you became queasy when you saw the numerous needles they attached to your mom and the way they conducted diagnostics as if she were a machine.
Sitting down on one of the seats outside your momâs room, you pulled out your phone to respond to some emails and refresh your news feed. A new headline caught your eye: âTXTâs Soobin to Temporarily Halt Activities Due to Health Reasons.â Your stomach sank as you skimmed the preview.
Curious and concerned, you clicked the link and quickly scanned the article, completely unprepared for what you might read. The piece confirmed that he had recently visited the hospital after showing signs of being unwell. Medical staff had advised him to take time to rest and recover.
As a result, Soobin would be absent from several upcoming events, including big awards and fan events. You scrolled down, hoping for more news, more updates. And then you saw it. A handwritten letter from Soobin himself.
Reading his words, you felt a mix of emotionsâconcern for his well-being, admiration for his dedication, and a deep sense of connection to someone who had been a part of your childhood for so long, despite losing contact several years ago.Â
The article had been published just two hours ago, but you knew that Mrs. Choi (and assuming your mother), was already aware of the news. Why they had kept it from you, you had some inkling.
The last time someone took a break for health reasons was your mom. The doctors had said she just needed some time to rest, that she was overworked and needed a break from physical labor.
The very next morning, she had gotten a fever, and her sickness never went awayâjust slowly eating her up from the inside out. You had been so young then, too young to understand the gravity of it all. Now, as an adult, you couldn't help but feel a sense of dĂ©jĂ vu.Â
Soobin, your childhood friendâthe person who had unknowingly been your anchor during the darkest times, was now facing his own battle. And you were left here, unable to support him or ask how he was even doing.Â
You leaned back in your chair, closing your eyes and letting out a deep sigh. As you relished the silence of the sterile hallways, the occasional sound of footsteps and doors opening and closing punctuated the stillness.Â
Then, you felt itâthe unmistakable presence of someone standing before you. Without lowering your head, you slowly opened one eye, cautiously scanning your surroundings.
What you never expected was the very man whose face you had seen on your phone less than five minutes agoâstanding there, staring down at you.
You jolted upright, your phone nearly slipping from your lap. Rubbing your eyes, you looked up at the man standing before you, his presence both unexpected and surreal. You shook your head, trying to dismiss the impossibility of it. But why would he be here? What reason could he have? The stress of the past weekâno, the past monthsâhad taken its toll. You wondered if this was just another symptom of your exhaustion, a moment of derealization.Â
But this felt different. This felt real.
â
TWELVE YEARS AGO
It was a hot summer afternoon, the kind where the sun sat high up on the horizon, casting its hot rays over the neighborhood. The summer fair was in full swing, with the distinct smell of water from popped balloons hitting the pavement and street foods wafting through the air. Children darted between booths, their laughter mingling with the distant hum of pop music.
You and Soobin, inseparable since you were both knee-high and full of dreams, strolled leisurely through the fairgrounds. Your hands brushed now and thenânot quite holding, but never far apart. Every few steps, you pointed excitedly at something: a glittering ring toss booth, a caricature artist drawing wide-eyed portraits, a balloon animal vendor with a long line of sticky-handed kids. The scent of nostalgia hung thick in the air, and the moment felt impossibly alive.
Then you saw it: the talent show sign-up booth, marked by a colorful hand-painted sign fluttering in the breeze. A flyer, curling at the edges. "Are you sure?" he hesitated, his usual confidence "Absolutely!" you insisted, grabbing the pen and signing both your names.
The day of the talent show arrived, and nerves set in. You and Soobin had decided to perform a duetâhis favorite song at the time, "Twinkle," by Girls' Generation. You had practiced tirelessly, but now, standing backstage, doubt crept in.
"I can't do this," Soobin whispered, his usual smile replaced by a nervous frown.
âIâll buy you endless Kara merch if you do,â You placed your hands on his shoulders, shaking him like a soda can. âSeriously. Light sticks. Albums. Posters. Even that ridiculous towel.â A beat passedâand then, like magic, his eyes lit up. âReally?â
You watched as Soobin sat up straighter at the mention of the girl group and you couldn't help but let out a huff at how easily he was convinced. âWow...â You shook your head, exasperated. âRemind me to never call you if I get kidnapped.â
Soobin looked up at you with furrowed brows, as if genuinely puzzled. âWhy not?â
âTheyâd probably ask for your merch in exchange for me. Knowing you, you'd choose the merch.â He smirked, shrugging nonchalantly. âOf course.â
His nonchalance only fueled your annoyance. Without missing a beat, you grabbed him in a playful headlock, ruffling his hair. âIdiot,â you muttered, though a smile tugged at your lips despite yourself.
When your names were called, you stepped onto the stage, the bright lights blinding you momentarily. The audience's murmurs faded into a distant hum as the music began. Soobin's voice filled the air, and your nerves melted away. You sang your heart out, treating the talent show as if it were just a playful karaoke session. Soobin, however, seemed to belong on that stage. When the final note faded, the crowd erupted into applauseâparents, teens, kids, strangers all clapping like theyâd just watched something special.
You turned to Soobin.
He stood there, beaming, the mic still clutched in both hands like a prized possession. Then, without a trace of shyness, he bowed. A real bow. You stared for a momentâbecause in that instant, he wasnât just your goofy best friend. He looked like someone born to be on that stage.
You stepped back, letting him shine.
That performance became a cherished memory, a testament to your friendship and Soobin's budding talent. Little did you know, that day planted the seed for his future in music.
â
âYou're back.â The words slipped out before you could stop them, more a whisper to yourself than a question to him.
Soobin stood in front of you, barely resembling the old version of him that you always saw him as. Just his outfit aloneâmeticulously chosen, each piece exuding a quiet luxury. It wasnât something you thought youâd see him in in a million years. You were accustomed to seeing him in school uniforms, always looking youthful despite being six months older than you. But the Soobin now before you was undeniably an adult.
His gaze swept over you, lingering just a moment too long. "You look..." He paused, as if searching for the right words. "Different."
The simplicity of his statement stung more than you expected. You had changed, hadn't you? But had it been for the better? You met his gaze, a playful smirk tugging at your lips despite the fluttering in your chest. "You look horrible yourself, too," you teased, trying to mask the unease creeping in.
Soobin chuckled, the sound warm and familiar, yet distant. "Fair enough," he replied, his voice carrying a hint of amusement.
The silence that followed was thick with unspoken words. You wanted to ask him everythingâabout his life, his experiences, the years that had passedâbut the words caught in your throat. Instead, you stood there, two people who once shared everything, now separated by time and circumstance. Soobin shifted, his hands slipping into his pockets, his eyes never leaving yours. "It's been a while," he said softly.
"Yeah," you replied, your voice barely above a whisper. "A while."
The soft click-clack of the nurseâs cart rolling outside your momâs room broke the comfortable silence between you and Soobin. Only then did you notice the small electronic device in his handsâso tiny it looked almost out of place in his grasp.
âHumidifier?â you asked, raising an eyebrow in curiosity. He shifted uncomfortably, his cheeks flushing slightly. âItâs a gift... for your mom. I went and filled it up with some waterâ he said shyly, as if embarrassed to be seen with such a thoughtful gesture. You couldn't help but smile at his bashfulness. âSheâll love it,â you reassured him, nudging him gently toward the door.
As you both entered the room, the familiar scent of antiseptic and the soft beeping of medical equipment filled the air. Your mom looked up, her face lighting up at the sight of you and Soobin together, briefly exchanging glances with Mrs. Choi.Â
âLook whoâs here,â you said, your voice filled with warmth.Â
âI already saw him, honey,â she said with a playful smile, her voice tinged with that familiar teasing warmth, then gestured toward the table beside her, where several bags were neatly stacked. âHe helped bring those in earlier,â she added, nodding toward the tall figure behind you.Â
You looked behind at Soobin, who was already crouched near the wall, carefully plugging the humidifier into the outlet. His broad shoulders were hunched slightly, the soft fabric of his sweater bunching at the elbows as he adjusted the cord, making sure it didnât tangle with the IV stand nearby. He handled everything with the kind of quiet precision youâd come to associate with himâgentle, but steady.Â
The little device gave a soft mechanical hum as it came to life, a faint mist beginning to rise from the spout. Soobin straightened up, brushing his hands together as if completing a sacred task, then glanced at your mom with a nervous half-smile.
"I set it to low," he murmured. "So it won't be too much, just enough to keep the air from feeling dry."
Your mom tilted her head toward the thin ribbon of vapor swirling in the air, a flicker of surprise and gratitude crossing her face. "Thank you, Soobin," she said, her voice soft but steady. âIâve been feeling like my throatâs been made of sandpaper.â
He rubbed the back of his neck, cheeks turning a little pink again. "Itâs nothing, really. I just⊠thought it might help." You watched the way your mom looked at him, her gaze lingering for just a second longer than usualâgentle, assessing, as if seeing him act like this reminded her of the old times and that made her quietly glad.Â
Your momâs eyes softened as she glanced at Soobin, a small smile playing at the corners of her mouth. âYouâre very thoughtful,â she said gently, reaching out to adjust the humidifierâs mist.
Soobin shrugged, looking a little sheepish. âI just wanted to help.â
You caught the faintest shadow across your momâs faceâa quiet mix of pride and something else, something like a wish she could say aloud. But instead, she chuckled softly, shaking her head. âWell, youâre doing a good job at it.â As if hinting at more than just showing gratitude for the gesture. The mist from the humidifier caught the light, casting soft shadows on the white hospital sheets, and for a moment the sterile room felt just a little more like home.Â
â
Before you knew it, time had slipped by, the way it always does when you're avoiding looking at the clock. The room had grown quiet again, the only sounds were the soft whir of machines and your momâs slow, steady breathing. You stood, brushing nonexistent wrinkles from your clothes, more out of habit than anything else. Soobin followed suit just like always, moving a half-step behind you, like he wasnât quite sure if he was supposed to leave yet.
Outside, the corridor was still and cold under the harsh fluorescent lights. It smelled faintly of antiseptic and something elseâsomething tired. You walked side by side, just close enough to feel his presence but not enough to brush shoulders. The silence sat between you, not uncomfortable, but not easy either.Â
âSo,â you said, voice catching slightly in your throat. âWhen did you get back?â
He glanced over, offering you a small, almost sheepish smile. âI assume you know?â
Rightâthe headlines. Youâd seen them without even trying to. His name had been everywhere for days. It was hard to avoid when your past suddenly became the worldâs news. You nodded slowly. âYeah. I saw.â
He let out a short breath of laughter. Not a real laughâone of those quiet ones that feels more like a sigh. âThey really donât let you disappear quietly, do they?â
You wanted to say something reassuring, but nothing came. What could you even say? That sucks? Iâm sorry? I read every article twice, looking for signs you were okay? Instead, you settled on, âLooks like youâll be around for a while.â
His shoulders lifted in a shrug, but it wasnât light or offhand. There was a drag to it, something unspoken anchoring the gesture. âYeah. Forced break.âÂ
You raised an eyebrow, hoping a little teasing might soften the edges. âForced break? Sounds like a long vacation.â
He gave you a half-smile, one side of his mouth curling up. âIf only.â
The silence crept back in as you continued walking, your shoes squeaking faintly against the polished floor. It shouldâve felt comfortableâyouâd walked like this before, years ago, without needing to say much. But now? Now it felt like stepping around the edges of something you both werenât ready to touch. You stole a glance at him. The curve of his jaw was more defined now, his hair a little longer than you remembered. He still walked with that same quiet presence, like he was trying not to take up too much space. But there was something else, tooâsomething a little more closed off.
You swallowed. âSo... what now?â
He looked over at you, not stopping, just watching. âI donât really know,â he admitted. âIâve never had this much free time before.â
You let out a soft huff of air, unsure if it was a laugh or just a release of tension. âWeird, isnât it?â
âYeah,â he said, then after a beat, added, âkind of uncomfortable, honestly.â
You nodded, because you got itâmaybe not in the same way, but close enough. You understood what it was like to be stuck between chapters, unsure what comes next or who you're supposed to be without the thing that defined you. For a moment, you considered saying something real. Something like, I missed you or you donât have to pretend around me, but your throat tightened. You hadnât earned that kind of closeness anymore.
So instead you said, âGuess itâs a new kind of challenge.â
He gave you a lookâmild, but maybe grateful. âYeah. But... maybe not the worst kind.â
You nodded again, lips pressing into a thin line. And still, the things you wanted to say hovered behind your teeth. You wanted to ask how he was really doing. If it felt like everything had stopped too suddenly. If he was scared of what came next. But none of that would come out right, not with all this space between you.
The silence settled again as you both neared the elevator, the hum of lights overhead a constant backdrop.
âSo,â you said, trying to sound casual but failing, âwhere are you staying?â
He shifted his weight slightly, glancing over at you with a small smile. âUh... just down the street, actually. Back in my parentsâ place for a bit.â
You blinked. âWait. Seriously?â
âYeah.â He let out a short breath. âKind of surreal.â
You scoffed, the sound too sharp but real. âSo... weâre neighbors again.â
He laughed, a real one this time. âGuess so.â
You nodded, trying not to smile too much. âWeird.â
âDefinitely weird.â
Another pause. Another silence. But this one wasnât so stiff. It settled more naturally between you, like maybe it didnât need to be filled.
You both stood there, not really moving, not really sure what to do next. Just... hovering in that space where familiarity and distance existed at the same time. Where you wanted to say remember how easy this used to be? but knew neither of you quite had the words.
Maybe it would take time. Maybe it would stay awkward like this for a while.
But still, there was something in the quiet that felt like a beginning.
The elevator doors slid open with a soft ding, but neither of you moved.
You thought that was itâthat this was the part where youâd say goodbye with a tight smile and an awkward promise to âcatch up later.â But instead, Soobin turned, leaned his shoulder against the wall beside the elevator, and said, âWant to walk for a bit?â
You blinked. âAround the hospital?â
His mouth tugged up slightly. âWeâve had weirder hangouts.â
That was true. Once upon a time, your âhangoutsâ included hiding in stairwells during school festivals and playing cards in the back of the library while pretending to study. So maybe walking quiet halls and dodging nurses wasnât that strange after all.
You shook your head, a small smile tugging at the corner of your lips, but it didnât quite reach your eyes. âI better go, lots of things to do today.âÂ
He nodded. Then, with one last glance at youâlong enough to hold, short enough not to ask too muchâhe turned and walked down the hallway, his steps slow, like he wasnât in a rush to leave.
You stayed where you were, hands in your pockets, the echo of his words still lingering in the air.
It had been a while since you last saw Soobin. And you'd be lying if you said you hadnât looked him up that very same night you saw him again. After that day, it was like something broke loose inside youâsome quiet restraint youâd kept for years.
You found yourself scrolling endlessly through his performance videos, one after another, chasing something you couldnât quite name. Maybe it was curiosity, or maybe it was your way of making up for all the time youâd forbidden yourself from watching them.
It wasnât because you resented him. Not really. But it had always been easier to pretend you werenât curious than to admit the truth: watching him chase his dream made something twist in your chest. Not bitterness, exactlyâjust jealousy.
A quiet, aching sort of envy that you never wanted to confront. He had gone out there and done what he said he would. He lived it. All while keeping you completely in the dark. Not a message, not a wordânot even a hint of what his life had become.
And maybe thatâs what stung the mostânot that he left, but knowing it was your fault he never reached out.Â
You remembered the night he left. You didnât know it was the last time youâd see him, not then. He said something vague about having a âbig auditionâ coming up the previous week, and you, always the loyal friend, had smiled and wished him luck, unaware that he would succeed to the point where he was at now. You hadnât known that "audition" would become the beginning of a chapter that didnât include you.
At first, you hesitated. You told yourself he'd text first. Call. Drop by. But days turned into weeks, then months, and eventually, you stopped refreshing your messages, stopped checking your phone late at night like a fool and stuck your nose into your studies.Â
The only person who stayed by your side, from your father passing, through your mother getting sick, was now gone. And you couldnât bring yourself to be the one who reached out first, fearing that you would only receive the silence you thought you deserved.Â
So you buried it. Packed it into the same mental box where you kept all the âwhat ifsâ you never wanted to admit you had. You stopped watching his interviews, muted hashtags, scrolled past his face without letting your eyes linger. You told yourself it didnât matter. That people grow up, they move on. That it was nothing personal.
But seeing him again, in that hallway outside your momâs hospital room, had cracked something open.
You hadnât realized how much you still carried. How much weight was tied to his name, his voice, his smile. And now, after that one encounter, you were spiralingâlate into the night, alone in your room, your screen glowing softly in the dark as you watched him perform with the same boyish intensity heâd always had, only now refined, polished. A professional.
There were moments when heâd show a dimpled smile between lyrics, or toss his hair a certain way, and youâd see glimpses of the boy you once knew. The one who used to walk you home after school. Who used to text you dumb memes and write notes on the edges of your notebooks when the teacher wasnât looking. The boy who once promised heâd tell you everything.
But he didnât.
And maybe that was the cruelest partâhe had become someone the whole world knew, but not you. Not anymore. You didnât deserve that chance.Â
You set your phone down eventually, the videos still looping on autoplay, the sound dim. You stared at the ceiling, trying to reconcile the person on the screen with the quiet boy who used to sit beside you at lunch. Trying to figure out where the thread had snappedâand if there was any way to pick it back up again.
You werenât sure. But part of you hopedâachingly, stubbornlyâthat he came back not just to rest⊠but to remember.
To remember you.
â
The next time you saw Soobin, it was raining on a Wednesday.Â
Not the cinematic kind of rain that comes with thunder and dramatic declarations. Just a light drizzle that blurred the edges of the world and left your jacket damp where it clung to your shoulders.
Youâd just finished your shift at the cafĂ© near the hospital. You werenât technically supposed to be working while your mom was still admitted, but sheâd insistedâsaid the distraction was good for you. And truthfully, it was. It gave you something else to focus on besides white walls and the sound of machines beeping in the night.
You had your headphones in, your hood up, eyes on the sidewalkâwhen someone stepped into your path, blocking your way.
âHey.â
You looked up.
Soobin.
He was holding a paper bag in one hand, a bottle of something green poking out the top. His hoodie was damp, darkened around the seams, but he looked almost amused by it. Like the rain wasnât a bother. Like maybe it reminded him of something.
Your headphones hung limply around your neck now. âYou stalking me?â you asked, only half joking.
âI swear Iâm not,â he said, lifting the bag. âI was headed to the hospital. Thought your mom might like these.â
You glanced at the label on the bottle. Herbal tonic. Your lips curved upward despite yourself. âSheâll roll her eyes when she sees this. But this is good, she needs these.â
He grinned. âGood. Then mission accomplished.â
You hesitated. You shouldâve said goodbye, shouldâve kept walkingâbut you didnât. Something in the way he was standing, not quite stepping forward but not walking away either, mirrored exactly how you felt. Stuck in the middle.Â
âWant to come up with me?â you asked finally. âSheâs been asking about you.â
His expression softened. âYeah,â he said. âIâd like that.â
You walked side by side again, like no time had passedâbut with every footstep echoing on the hospital floor, you felt the gap between who you were and who youâd become. And still, he matched your pace without question.
Upstairs, your mom greeted him with a tired but genuine smile. You watched her lit up face switch over to a disgusted one in an instant as he handed her the tonic, made her laugh with something dumb, and you realized how easily he still fit into the spaces you thought time had sealed off.
Later, when she fell asleep and the lights dimmed around her bed, you and Soobin slipped out into the hallway again. It was quieter now. The storm outside had tapered into silence, and the air smelled faintly of rain on concrete.
He leaned against the wall, hands in his pockets. You stood a few feet away, arms crossed loosely over your chest, the distance between you filled with everything unsaid.
âShe still makes that face when she doesnât want to take medicine,â he said, glancing at the door behind you.
You smiled faintly. âSome things never change.â
He looked at you then, really looked. âYou did.â
You raised an eyebrow. âThatâs what happens when youâre not around for eight years.â
His mouth tugged to the side in something between a grimace and a smile. âFair.â
There was another beat of silence, but this one felt warmer. You glanced down the hallway, watching a nurse wheel a cart past the far end, the soft rattle of it fading into the hum of fluorescent lights.
âYou know,â he said after a moment, quieter now, âyour mom was always really kind to me.â
âShe likes people with manners,â you replied, then added, âand people who eat her leftovers without complaining.â
âShe used to pack extra, just for me,â he said, eyes distant now. âEven when she said she didnât have time.â
âShe did that with people she loved.â The words left your mouth before you could decide whether or not to say them.
Soobin looked at you, and for a second, you almost couldnât hold his gaze. It was too much. Too real.
The hallway buzzed faintlyâthe dull drone of fluorescent lights, distant intercom announcements, the occasional footsteps echoing down the corridor. Somewhere, a nurseâs soft laughter floated through the air.
The moment settled like dust, thick and heavy.
âI missed this,â he said finally, voice rough but steady. âNot just your mom. Not just the neighborhood. You.â
You didnât answer right away. Your fingers picked at a loose thread on your sleeve, twisting it between your fingertips like a lifeline. He turned his head slightly toward you but didnât push you for a response.
Instead, he said, âCan I show you something?â
You glanced over, curious despite yourself. âNow?â
He nodded, pulling his phone from his hoodie pocket with a slow, deliberate motion. He flipped through his gallery, swiping a few times, then handed it to you. A video.
Not one of the polished concert clips uploaded for fans, but a raw, shaky recording from a recent show. The camera was angled toward the crowd, thousands of tiny lights flickering like stars. Then it shifted to the stageâhim, standing at the microphone, eyes closed, singing a slow, acoustic song. Your breath caught, chest tightening. He mustâve seen it on your face because he said softly, âWrote it the week I moved to the city. Never released it.â
You watched the video again, seeing a side of him you hadnât seen in yearsâvulnerable and unpolished. The words carried little references, tiny fragments of shared memoriesâa phrase youâd said once, a place youâd both known, a worn bench youâd sat on together.
âIt was about you,â he said quietly. âStill is.â
Your fingers curled tighter around the phone, heart pounding in your ears louder than the soft hospital hum. You handed it back, not because you wanted to stop watching, but because it felt too much to hold all at once.
Another silence bloomed. But this one felt different, like the air between you had shifted, charged with something fragile and new.
He stood slowly. âI should go. Donât want to overstay my welcome.â
You didnât try to stop him, but as he turned, you called out softly, âHey.â
He paused, looking back over his shoulder.
You gave him a small, tired smile, the kind that held hope and history all at once.
âNext time⊠donât bring tonic. Bring peaches. She actually likes those.â
He laughedâa sound that was still boyish, warm, and real.
âGot it. Peaches.â
He walked down the hallway, the soft squeak of his shoes echoing behind him.
You stayed seated, staring at the empty space beside you, wondering how many more times youâd find the courage to let yourself take one step closer.Â
â
It had been a long week.
Youâd spent most of it moving between home and the hospital, the lines between day and night beginning to blur. Your momâs condition hadnât worsened, but it hadnât improved eitherâand somehow, that was its own kind of exhausting. Hopeful. Heavy. Endless.
So when the knock came on your door that Saturday afternoonâthree quick taps and a pauseâyou almost didnât answer.
But then you remembered the way he knocked.
You opened the door.
âDelivery,â Soobin said, holding up a brown paper bag like it was a peace offering. âOne bottle of overpriced juice, andâŠâ He pulled out a small carton with a mock ceremony. âPeaches. Fresh. Not those disgusting canned stuff.â
You raised an eyebrow. âWow. You really took the note.â
âI aim to please.â He grinned, wide and shameless. âAlso, the guy at the fruit stand said these were âkissing sweet,â which made me deeply uncomfortable. So I had to buy them.â
You snorted, stepping aside to let him in. âThatâs the dumbest reason Iâve ever heard for buying fruit.â
He walked in casually, already toeing off his shoes like second natureâ- like heâd done it a hundred times. âWhat can I say? I missed your momâs high standards. And your judgment.â
âBoth still going strong,â you said, accepting the bag. âYou want coffee or are you planning to make a dramatic exit again?â
He shot you a look. âThat exit was graceful and respectful.â
âThat exit was weird and full of emotional tension.â
He tilted his head thoughtfully. âSo⊠par for the course?â
You tried not to laugh, but it slipped out anyway.
He sat on the edge of your couch, glancing around like he was taking inventory. You watched the way his eyes lingered on the bookshelf, the stack of hospital visitors passes on the table, the blanket still folded from when you'd last crashed there after a long night.
âI like what youâve done with the place,â he said. âVery... âhaunted by fatigue but still trying.ââ
You grinned. âThatâs actually the theme of the whole apartment. You should see the bathroom.â
He laughed againâan easy, warm sound that made your ribs feel too tight.
You went to the kitchen, opened the bag, and found not just the peaches and juice, but a pack of sweet rice crackers tucked at the bottom.
âAre these for me or for her?â you called.
A beat.
â...Yes,â he replied.
âSheâs going to eat all of these and then yell at me for letting you spend money on her.â
âLet her yell at me instead,â he said, already settling onto your couch like he owned the place. âI can take it. I survived our high school math teacher. Your mom has nothing on that woman.â
You smirked. âThat teacher made you cry.â
He gasped. âI teared up. Once. And it was allergy season.â
âSure it was.â It had been a strange comfort, having him around againâeven if it was awkward most of the time.
âThanks,â you said, shrugging and avoiding his eyes. âfor not bringing tonic this time.â
He chuckled. âHey, I learned my lesson. Peaches or bust.â
A silence passed. But it wasnât heavy this time. It sat lightly between you, like an old friend resting its elbows on the table.
âSoâŠâ he said slowly. âYou going to the hospital later?â
You nodded. âYeah. Just after dinner. They changed some meds, so they want someone to watch her overnight.â
He nodded, fingers curling around the mug. âMind if I come with you?â
You looked up. Not because he hadnât offered before. But because this time, he said it differently. Gently. Not just wanting to visitâbut to be there.Â
ââŠSheâll be happy to see you,â you said. âAnd if you bring those crackers, she might even be nice.â
He smiled, setting his mug down.
âOh, and by the way,â you added, pretending to inspect a peach like it was under review. âShe only likes the white ones. If you brought yellowââ
âDonât insult me,â he said, already pulling a peach from the bag and rolling it across the table toward you. âDo I look like someone who would buy the wrong kind?â
You caught it mid-roll, lips twitching. âI donât know. Youâve been gone a while. You couldâve turned into someone completely unreliable.â
He leaned back on the couch, arms stretched along the top cushion, looking maddeningly smug. âIâm still me.â
You turned the peach over in your hand, pretending not to notice how warm your cheeks felt.
âYeah,â you said softly. âI know.âÂ
â
NINE YEARS AGO
The living room was a mess. A good kind of messâsnack wrappers littered across the coffee table, cushions scattered like casualties, your shared laughter still lingering in the air like static. It was the Friday before the weekend, Soobin had waited for you to finish your badminton practice to walk you home to spend the rest of the afternoon with you.Â
Soobin was on the floor, one leg stretched out and the other tucked underneath him, controller in hand, glaring at the TV screen with the same intensity he used when talking about stage lighting or choreography.
âYouâre cheating,â he said flatly. You didnât look away from the screen. âIâm not.â
âYouâre button-mashing,â he accused, pointing at your hands like he was building a legal case. âThatâs not skill, thatâs chaos.â
You grinned. âChaos works.â A second later, his character flew off the edge of the map with a dramatic final explosion. KO. Soobin dropped his controller and flopped backward onto the floor like heâd just been shot. âUnbelievable. I come here in good faith and get demolished.â
You leaned over your knees, stretching out your arms with a satisfied sigh. âMaybe you just suck.â
He peeked at you through narrowed eyes. âIâm rethinking our friendship.â
âBecause Iâm better at Smash?â
âBecause youâre a smug button-masher with no honor.â
You laughed, the kind that curled your shoulders inward and left a small warmth in your chest. This was easy. Ridiculously easy. Soobin had always been like this with youâquick to tease, slow to anger, all soft jabs and boyish huffs. Like a habit you never had to think about. He could go hours and hours just bantering with you about the most unimportant topics.Â
You reached for the plastic bag sitting on the coffee table, rifling through until you found what you were really after. âYou want the last peach?â
He didnât even hesitate. Sat up like heâd been summoned from the dead. âI do. Really. Deeply.â
You held it just out of reach, twirling it by the stem. âThen admit Iâm better than you.â
âAbsolutely not.â
âThen no peach.â
âYouâre evil.â
You were about to answerâprobably with something smug, possibly with another insultâwhen he lunged forward.
It wasnât even a real lunge. More like an exaggerated grab, like he was trying to be ridiculous on purpose. But you misjudged the distanceâhe was faster than he lookedâand suddenly he was right there, fingers overlapping yours, and the peach tumbled from your grip, rolling a few inches before coming to a stop between you.Â
You both reached for it at the same time.
And then you were touching.
Just barelyâhis knuckles brushing yours, the pad of his thumb catching the back of your hand. Your knees bumped, one of his legs tangled slightly with yours from the way heâd thrown himself forward. The closeness was sudden. Clumsy. And absolutely still.
The peach sat in both your palms now, soft and overripe, a little dented from the fall. But you werenât looking at the peach anymore.
You were looking at him.
He was looking back.
For a second, neither of you spoke. You could feel your heartbeat shiftâquicker, louder. Like your body realized something your brain didnât want to name.
He was close. Too close.Â
There was something different about the way he looked at you just then. Like he was searching for somethingâconfirmation, maybe. Permission. Or maybe he wasnât searching at all. Maybe he was just seeing you, for the first time in a way that wasnât casual or safe or platonic. You told yourself to laugh. To say something to break it. But your mouth was dry and your fingers were still curled around the stupid peach.
God, you thought, this is just a moment. It doesnât mean anything. Donât make it mean something.
Because if you made it mean something, youâd have to face the fact that everything would change between you two, and you werenât ready for that.Â
And worst of allâyou didnât know if he wanted it too.
So you were the first to let go.
âFine,â you said, easing the peach into his hands, forcing a smile. âYou win. Peach privileges restored.â
He didnât answer right away. Just looked at you for a second longer, then pulled back, sitting cross-legged again, the fruit cradled like a trophy.
âYouâll regret this,â he said, voice light again. Too light. âIâm going to crush you in the next round.â
You swallowed the lump in your throat and smirked. âBig talk from someone who just got obliterated.â
He took a bite of the peachâflesh soft, juice dripping slightly down his wrist.
You looked away.
Because watching him eat a peach had absolutely no right being that distracting.
âYouâre quiet,â he said after a second.
âJust letting you enjoy your victory,â you replied, folding your arms.
âMm.â He chewed, then added through a mouthful of fruit, âThis is the taste of justice.â
You grabbed a pillow and lobbed it at his head.
He laughed, muffled but warm, like it lived somewhere behind his ribcage. Like it was meant just for you.
And later, after heâd gone, after the controller had been set aside and the cushions lazily put back, you sat on the couch and stared at the empty spot where his leg had touched yours.
It was nothing, you told yourself.
But your heart wasnât convinced.
â
It had been three days since Soobin last came by to accompany you to the hospital.Â
Not that you were counting.
Your mom was still in the hospital. Her condition was stable, but âstableâ was the kind of word doctors used when they meant unchanged, when the machines still beeped and the days still blurred, and you didnât know how to exhale without guilt.
So you kept your head down. Worked your shifts. Folded laundry. Refilled the humidifier in her room. Then, one quiet evening, your phone buzzed.
Unknown: You up?
You stared at it for a second too long, the number was foreign to your contact list. The number wasnât saved. But the timing, the toneâit could only be one person.
Another message came in.
Unknown: This is Soobin, by the way.
Of course it was.
You: No. Iâm sleep-texting. You
The three dots appeared. Vanished. Then came back again, like he was typing and deleting and thinking too muchâjust like always.
Soobin:
Maybe. Or just bored.
 Wanna walk?
You didnât answer.
Fifteen minutes later, you were outside. Hoodie zipped to your chin, hands in your pockets. The air was cool, kissed with the hush that only lived in your neighborhood at night.
A faint breeze moved through the trees overhead, the streetlamp buzzed quietly, and the sidewalk stretched out ahead like a question you didnât know how to ask.
He was waiting by the gate. Same hoodie from the other night. Same hands buried in the front pocket. His hair was a little messier now, falling into his eyes like he hadnât bothered to push it back. He looked like someone trying not to look like he was waiting.
When he saw you, he straightenedânot all the way, just enough to seem like he hadnât been pacing.
âHey,â he said, voice soft like he wasnât sure if it would reach you.
âHey,â you replied, tugging your sleeves over your hands. And then you walked. Not toward anything in particular. Just forward. Side by side. Close enough to hear the other breathe.
The silence wasnât awkward. If anything, it felt⊠familiar. Like this was a rhythm you both used to know. Like your feet still remembered how to fall into step with his even if your hearts hadnât caught up yet.
After a while, he spoke.
âIâve been writing again,â he said, just above a whisper.
You glanced at him. His eyes stayed on the sidewalk. âYeah?â
âMostly bad stuff,â he added with a breath of a laugh. âBut⊠some of it feels honest.â
You nodded. âThatâs the hard part.â
There was a pause.
âI used to write when I missed home,â he said.
You didnât say anything. You didnât have to. But he kept going anyway, his voice quieter now. Like if he said it too loud, it would sound like a confession.
âI stopped for a long time. Everything started to sound the same. Even the stuff I wrote just for meâit didnât sound like me. It sounded like someone trying to remember what real felt like.â
Your chest pinched. Because you recognized that feeling, even if it wore a different face.
âYou mean the industry?â you asked, your voice gentler than you meant it to be. He nodded, hands tightening in his sleeves. âThe schedules, the shoots, the interviews where they ask you how youâre doing and expect you to say youâre grateful.â
You looked over. His face was still turned ahead, but his jaw was setâlike he was fighting back something that had been building for years.
âIt looks big,â he said. âTo other people. All the lights and cameras and screaming fans. But most of the time, it felt⊠small. Like I was inside this beautiful box I couldnât leave. Like I was shrinking in a place everyone said I was meant to grow.â
You didnât know what to say to that. Not at first. Because it was Soobinâyour Soobin. The one who used to doodle lyrics on his wrists during exams. The one who used to talk about Seoul like it was a promise.
And now he was here. Telling you the promise didnât keep.
âI used to envy you,â you murmured.
He turned his head slightly, startled. âWhat?â
âYou had direction. Purpose. You left. While the rest of us stayed behind wondering what we were doing. You knew.â
âI didnât,â he said quickly. âI pretended I did.â
You exhaled, eyes on the path ahead.
He slowed, enough that you had to slow too.
âI didnât reach out,â he began to answer your lifeâs biggest question, âbecause I was afraid if I told you how bad it was, youâd tell me to come home.â
You stopped. Right there on the path.
âAnd that wouldâve been so awful?â you asked, trying to keep your voice even. âMe wanting you to come home?â
He looked down.
âIt wouldâve made it real,â he said. âMade me feel like I failed.â
The ache that had been sitting under your ribs stretched, deep and familiar.
The wind stirred again, carrying the sound of distant cars and rustling trees. Then, your voice dropped. âYou know, Soobin⊠you did a good job.â
His eyes shot up to meet yours. Cautious. Almost confused. You let the words settle before continuing.
âI mean it. You chased something you believed in. You worked hard. You got somewhere people only dream about.â You swallowed. âYou just⊠never took a second to see how far youâd gone. You kept running like someone was going to take it away from you.â
His mouth parted slightly, but no sound came out.
âYou should let yourself rest,â you said. âYou deserve to breathe.â
He looked at you like no one had ever said that to him before. Not in the way that mattered.
And maybe no one had. A silence fell again, but it was different now. Thick with emotion, weighted with years of distance and grief and care that had nowhere to go.
Soobin stepped forwardânot enough to cross the space between you, but enough that you felt the warmth of him again.
âIâm trying to be better,â he said quietly.Â
Your throat tightened.
You didnât know what to say. Not yet. So instead, you reached for the edge of your hoodie sleeve and twisted it around your fingers, grounding yourself in the way you used to back when emotions felt too big to hold.
And beside you, Soobin just stood there.
Not asking to be forgiven, not like he had to.Â
Just⊠asking to stay a little longer.
â
The hospital room was quieter than usual.
Your mom was asleep, or at least pretending to be. Her breaths came soft and even, her fingers curled loosely around the edge of the blanket. The late afternoon light filtered through the slats in the blinds, painting thin gold bars across the white walls. Outside, the city buzzed softly beneath the window, too far away to touch.
You sat by the bed, elbow propped on the armrest, chin resting in your hand. The chair creaked when you shifted. Youâd meant to read. Meant to answer that message from work. But your mind kept driftingâbackward, sideways, toward things that hadnât happened yet but already pressed too heavy on your chest.
Soobin hadnât texted since the walk.
Three days wasnât long. Not really.
But you found yourself reaching for your phone more than usual. Pausing at the sound of footsteps in the hallway. Imagining him leaning on the doorframe again, holding some half-thought-out excuse to stop by. You hated how easily hope made a home out of silence.
Your mom stirred, just slightly, eyes fluttering open. âYouâre still here?â
You smiled faintly. âWhere else would I be?â
She looked at you for a beat longer than usual. âYouâve been coming earlier,â she said, voice scratchy from sleep. âStaying longer, too.â
You shrugged. âThereâs not much else to do.â
âMm.â She turned her head to the side, watching you now. Not like she was accusingâmore like she was waiting. âHeâs been coming around again.â
You didnât respond right away. Just stared at the window, at the sky that had turned that in-between color of fading blue and soft orange.
âYeah,â you said eventually.
âHeâs been good to you,â she added, gently. âI see it.â
You chewed on the inside of your cheek, heart doing that stupid thing againâlike it couldnât decide whether to clench or melt.
âHeâs not staying,â you said. Your mom didnât answer right away. That kind of silence said more than any reply.
You leaned back in the chair, eyes flicking up to the ceiling. âI donât know why it matters. Itâs not like weâre⊠anything.â
âBut you want to be?â she asked softly.
You didnât look at her. âIt wouldnât make a difference.â
âThatâs not what I asked.â
You exhaled, long and slow. âIt doesnât matter what I want. He came back because of his health. Because he needed space from all that. Heâs not⊠this isnât forever.â
And if you let yourself want something more like last timeâif you gave it a nameâwhat would happen when he left again?
She was quiet for a long time. Then, just as you were about to change the subject, her voice returned. âYou know,â she said, âI think the hardest kind of love is the kind that feels temporary.â
You blinked. âThis isnâtâthis isnât love.â You protested.
She didnât argue. Just gave you a look that said sheâd been your mother long enough to know when you were lyingâto her or to yourself.
You shook your head, staring down at your hands. âItâs not like Iâm holding onto something that could actually last.â
âBut youâre still holding it,â she murmured.
You didnât answer. Couldnât. Because yeah. You were.
You were holding the way his voice sounded in quiet places. The way he never pushed when you went silent, just waited with that kind of patience that only people whoâd known you for years could manage. You were holding the way he remembered the things you forgot you ever told him. The way he looked at you like he didnât know how to stop.
And it scared the hell out of you.
Because people leave. Sometimes they come back. But rarely do they stay.
Your mom reached out, her fingers brushing yours. âItâs okay to be scared,â she said gently. âItâs not okay to pretend you donât feel anything.â
You didnât respond.
You just stared at the sunlight crawling across the linoleum floor, and wondered how long you could keep pretending that what you felt was nothing.
â
The engine made a low, confused noise as Soobin turned the key. You braced your hand against the dashboard. Soobin sat up straighter, lips pursed like he was preparing for war. You couldnât help watching the way his knuckles tensed on the wheel, the way he kept muttering to himself like this was more of a concert performance than a suburban test run.
"Okay," you said cautiously. "Brake. Check your mirrors. Put it in driveâno, thatâs reverse. Reverse isâSoobinâ!"
The car lurched backward, an alarming jolt that made your seatbelt dig into your collarbone.
âOkay! Okay! Got it!â Soobin slammed the brake, and the car shuddered to a halt. Your heart was somewhere near your throat.
âYou almost ran over a mailbox,â you hissed, hands clutched tightly on your seat. âMy mailbox!âÂ
He winced. âItâs still standing.â
âBarely.â He shot you a look. âI told you I didnât finish my license! You didnât have to volunteer your car for this.â
âI didnât think this was what weâd be doing when you said you wanted to âcatch up.â
âOut,â you ordered. âSwitch seats.â He didnât argue.
âYouâre lucky I like you,â you grumbled, turning the key and reversing smoothly out of the lot.
âAw,â he said, smirking. âYou like me.â
âDonât make it weird.â
You looked at him. He looked back.
There was a beat of silence.
You circled back around the block, only to end up parked in front of your house once again. Soobin spotted the shed that sat behind your house, most importantly, whatâs next to it.Â
âNo way,â he said, rushing ahead.
Sure enough, there they were. Your old bikes. Rusted at the chains, tires flat, but still recognizable.
âI canât believe you kept mine,â he said, brushing off a handlebar like it was a relic.
âMy mom was too sentimental to throw it away. She thought youâd come back.â
He paused.
The air shifted.
âGuess she was right,â he said softly.
You didnât respond.
â
A few minutes later, you were riding through townâlaughing, breathless, avoiding potholes and startled pigeons. Soobinâs bike creaked horribly, but he insisted on pedaling like he was racing someone only he could see.
You took the long route, past the bookstore where you used to loiter, the convenience store where he once bought you a yogurt drink with his last few coins, the bus stop where you used to sit until the streetlights flicked on.
Then he slowed. You turned to lookâand watched, helpless, as his front tire clipped a curb and sent him flying.
âSoobin!â He landed with a thud, half in the grass, half on the sidewalk.
You dropped your bike and ran to him.
âOh my Godâare you okay? Why werenât you paying attenââ
He blinked up at you, dazed. âThat bus stop looks exactly the same.â
âYou fell off your bike because of nostalgia?!â
He groaned. âI got caught off guard.â
âBy a memory?â
âYou looked back at meâŠ,â he mumbled.
You stopped. The world stilled for half a second. Then you shoved that away.Â
"You're bleeding," you said, kneeling next to him, choosing yet again to overlook the deeper weight hidden in his seemingly innocent words.
It wasnât badâjust a scrape at his temple, but the sight still made something twist low in your stomach. You pulled a tissue that you luckily had in your pocket and dabbed at the cut.Â
âYouâre so dramatic,â you murmured, dabbing at the cut with soft fingers. âWhat if you end up with a scar? Your fans might actually riot.â
He winced, sucking in a breath.
âYouâre enjoying this,â he said, eyeing you suspiciously.
âIâm not,â you said, lips twitching.
âYouâre not even trying to be gentle.â
âI am,â you liedâthough your touch grew just a little softer.
But your hands had slowed. And now that you were this close, you couldnât help but really look at him. His hair was a little damp, curling slightly at the edges. There was a faint smudge of dirt on his cheek, and the cut on his brow was still freshâbut none of it dulled him. If anything, it made him feel more real. Not the polished idol with perfect lighting and stage smiles, but Soobinâyour Soobin.Â
The boy who used to race you home on bikes, who got grass stains on his knees and laughed until he fell over. And maybe thatâs why your breath caught, just a little, because his eyes werenât darting away this time. He wasnât teasing or laughing. Just looking. Steady. Unafraid.
It felt like the earth was tilting under you.
He reached up, fingers brushing your wristâsoft, tentative. But you stood up before the silence could grow teeth.
âCâmon, head injury or not, weâre riding back. You canât die dramatically knowing that it was a curb that took you outâ
He laughed, clutching his ribs. âYouâre such a comfort.â
You didnât tell him that if heâd looked at you for one more second like that, you wouldâve forgotten how to breathe.
Because your pulse still hadnât returned to normal. And your heart didnât know if it was from the fallâŠ
âŠor from him.
â-
The rain started halfway through the ride home. Not a drizzle, not a soft mist. No, the sky decided to absolutely open up on you.
âSeriously?!â you shouted up at the clouds as you and Soobin coasted to a slow, skidding stop under a half-dead tree. Soobin was already laughing, clothes plastered to his skin, hair dripping into his eyes. âThis is kind of perfect, though. Right? Very K-drama of us.â
You glared. âIâm going to get sick. Youâre going to get sick.â
âI already feel stronger. This is character-building.â
You groaned and dropped your head back. âI hate you.â
âYou keep saying that,â he said, wheeling his bike alongside yours, âbut Iâm starting to think you just like having an excuse to say my name angrily.â
You opened your mouth, ready to shoot something backâbut a particularly angry clap of thunder cut through the air. You both jumped.
âLetâs just go home...â You muttered.
By the time you made it back to your house, you were soaked throughâshoes squelching, hair matted to your cheeks, laughter still catching in your throats between shivers. You tossed your bike on the porch without care, unlocking the door as quickly as your frozen fingers would let you.
âLeave your shoes by the door,â you told him, kicking yours off with a squelch. âAnd try not to drip everywhere.â
Soobin peeled his hoodie over his head with a groan. âThatâs an impossible task. Iâm basically a human sponge.â
You grabbed a towel from the bathroom and threw it at his face. âHere. Dry off, Mr. Sponge.â
âIâll need a medal for surviving this ride.â
âYouâll get a warm meal and some dry clothes, and youâll like it.â
He grinned, following you into the hallway. âWait. Dry clothes?â
"Yeah. I think I still have one of your old sweatshirts lying around" you said over your shoulder, stopping just outside your room. You glanced back at him, standing awkwardly in the hallway, damp hair dripping and clothes clinging to him like a soggy afterthought. He looked like a miserable, oversized puppy.
"If it even fits..." you mumbled under your breath.
Because looking at him now, you werenât so sure. Heâd always been tall, but somewhere between the boy who used to sprawl across your couch and the man standing there now, he'd filled outâbroad shoulders, long limbs, that quiet weight people carry when they've grown into themselves. It was weird. Familiar.Â
âYou still have that?â
You shrugged, trying not to overthink the warmth crawling up your neck. âItâs a good sweatshirt.â
âCan I have it back?â
âNo.â
He laughed, and you disappeared into your room, pulling out the hoodie in questionâstill soft and oversizedâand a pair of sweatpants you knew would be way too short on him, but itâd have to do.
You handed him the clothes and pointed him toward the bathroom. âGo. Change. And hang your stuff up unless you want it smelling like mildew forever.â
âYes, maâam,â he said, mock saluting.
When he disappeared behind the door, you exhaled. Why did this feel like something?
You pushed your wet hair back and padded into the kitchen to grab some water, heart still annoyingly thudding. Rain tapped against the windows like impatient fingers, and somewhere in the background, the bathroom door creaked as he rummaged through a drawer for a comb, a towel, who knew.
After changing into dry clothes, you settled onto the couch, towel in hand as you ran it through your damp hair. Without thinking, you reached into your pocket for your phone and opened reelsâmore out of muscle memory than intention.
You scrolled for a good minute before pausing.
There it was.
A video of Soobin. Blonde Soobin. All black suit, legs spread like he owned gravity, eating some sort of sour candy in that dazed, effortless idol way that did things to people.
The sound was some kind of slowed-down R&B Â track. The caption read: âwhat do you mean heâs not my boyfriend??â
You snorted and shook your head, tapping the screen like you meant to scroll past it.
âYou watching fan edits of me?â
You jumped, your heart skipping a beat.
Soobin was standing just behind the couch, freshly changed, a towel draped loosely around his neck as he rubbed at his damp hair. His cheeks were flushed pinkânot from embarrassment, but from the lingering warmth of the shower. The faint scent of your soap clung to him, familiar and comforting.
You scrambled for words, panic rising in your chest. âN-no.â
He raised one perfectly shaped eyebrow, the hint of a teasing smile tugging at his lips. âYouâre a terrible liar.â
You bit your lip, trying to steady your voice. âIt just popped up on my For You page!â you insisted, your tone shooting up an octave in protest.
âThatâs not how the algorithm works,â he teased, eyes sparkling as he leaned in a little. âI can literally see you liked it.â
You huffed, flinging your phone onto the couch as if it had personally betrayed you. âI didnât save it or anything.â
âIâm flattered,â he said, grinning as he walked slowly around the couch and flopped down beside you. The heat radiating from his body made the space between you feel smaller, cozier.
âI didnât know you were into the blonde era,â he added with mock surprise.
You tried not to look at him, but it was impossible. His warmth seeped into you, grounding you in a way that made your chest ache with something tender and unfamiliar. He smelled like your soapâclean, soft, and utterly real.
âYeah, well,â you muttered, crossing your arms defensively, âyou looked ridiculous.â
He laughedâa low, easy sound that made your heart flutter. âYouâre blushing.â
âNo, Iâm not.â
âYes, you are.â
You risked a glance at himâand made the mistake of meeting his eyes.
Something electric passed between you, and it wasnât from the static of the hoodie. It was heavier. Warmer. Your breath stuttered. You could say this, right? You were friends, right?
âYou know,â you started, voice quieter, âitâs kinda unfair.â
He tilted his head. âWhat is?â
You picked at a loose thread on the couch cushion, pretending not to notice the way his thigh was pressed against yours.
âYou look like that, even if youâre just eating.â
He blinked.
The teasing fell out of his expression like someone had pulled a thread loose. You looked at himâreally looked.
And there it was again. That thing that hung between you like a held breath. That invisible thread that pulled tighter and tighter every time you got close enough to see each other clearly.
His hand caught your wrist just as you were about to step away.
You froze, startled by the gentle hold, your heart skipping a beat.
His hand closed around your wristâgentle, hesitant. Like he wasnât sure if he had the right to touch you but couldnât let the moment slip away without trying.
You froze.
Not because it was dramatic or shocking, but because your body had trained itself to notice every tiny shift around Soobin. The way his fingers were warm against your skin. The way his thumb hovered just slightly, like he thought about brushing it across your wrist but didnât.
When you looked at him, really looked, he was already looking awayâblushing.
His ears were a little pink at the tips, and the expression on his face was⊠shy. Maybe even a little self-conscious, like he was trying to laugh it off before you said anything that would make it worse.
âThat clip you sawâŠâ he said, clearing his throat, his voice softer than usual. âItâs not really me looking good or anything.â
You blinked. âWhat?â
He scratched the back of his neck with his free hand, still not letting go of you. âThat livestreamâthe one with the blonde hair and the⊠uh, the sitting posture.â He made a vague motion, embarrassed. âWe were just coming off a performance. Everyone was still in stage makeup, and the stylists kind of go all out when thereâs press watching. Itâs not really how I⊠look. Normally.â
He wasnât even making eye contact now, suddenly fascinated with a dent in the hardwood floor.
âI mean, they style us a certain way. The lightingâs good. The outfits are picked for us.â He glanced up, almost sheepish. âItâs not real-real.â
You didnât answer right away. You were too busy staring.
Because here was Soobinânot the idol, not the polished version beamed out to millionsâbut your Soobin. The one who got defensive about reverse parking and couldnât cook instant noodles without supervision. The one whose hoodie sleeves still hung past his wrists, whose hair was a little damp from the rain, whose voice always got smaller when he was trying to be honest.
And he didnât know. He didnât know that the moment he tried to downplay it, you somehow liked him even more. Your heart was doing something dangerous. Something stupid and fluttery. And warm. You smiled, just a little. âSo what youâre saying is⊠the Soobin in that clip is false advertising?â
He huffed a laughâstill nervous, still a bit pink. âExactly.â
âWell,â you said, pretending to think it over, âI guess Iâll just have to get used to this version of you, then.â
He tilted his head, eyes meeting yours at last. âThis version?â
You nodded, trying to act nonchalant even though your pulse was kicking wildly in your throat. âThe version that wears wrinkled sweats and drips water on my floor and thinks too much about livestreams from six months ago.â
He smiled, small and real. âThat versionâs not very cool.â
âGood. I like him better.â You shrugged. âHe reminds me of an old friend.â
There was a pauseâjust long enough to feel like a held breath. His hand was still on your wrist, warmer now. Closer. And even though neither of you said it, something shifted.
He lingered a second longer, still holding your wrist, his thumb brushing your skin in a barely-there touch. Neither of you moved, as if breaking the stillness might shatter something fragile between you.
And then, almost offhandedlyâlike it wasnât the kind of thing that would stick with you for daysâhe said, âYou look good too, you know. Even after all these years.â
Simple. Uncomplicated. But it cracked something open in you all the same.
You turned away first.
âIâm gonna go make dinner,â you said quickly, already halfway to standing. âBefore I say something else embarrassing.â
He let go, fingers slipping away from yours slowly, reluctantly.
And you walked to the kitchen with your heart in your throat.
Dinner was on the stove.
But it wasnât the only thing simmering now.
â
You stood in front of the pot, stirring with more intensity than necessary, trying very hard not to think about the compliment Soobin had just casually lobbed at your entire existence. His words still clung to your skin more stubborn than the rain had.
"You look good too."
What did that even mean? You were in an old hoodie, hair still damp, socks mismatched. You looked like a soggy couch cushion with a pulse.
Still. Heâd said it. Earnestly. Like he meant it.
You stirred the pot a little too aggressively.
Behind you, Soobin leaned against the kitchen counter, arms crossed, watching you like he had nowhere else to beâand no desire to be anywhere else. He looked so at ease there, like he belonged in this space, in your space. The hoodie he woreâthe one youâd cut around the collar back in high school during a brief âDIY fashionâ phaseâhung slightly off one of his shoulders now, exposing a sliver of collarbone. Your brain short-circuited every time your eyes drifted that way, completely unprepared for how something so small, so casual, could feel so intimate.
His eyes drifted toward the stove, then to youâquiet, lingering. He wasnât staring exactly, but it was close. Like he was watching something he couldnât quite name. Something small and domestic and too warm to look at directly. And when you caught it, just barely from the corner of your eye, it sent a shiver straight down your spine.
He dropped his gaze instantly, toeing at the rug with the tip of his sock like it had personally offended him.
âWhat⊠uh, what are you making?â he asked, voice soft. Like raising it too loud might break something fragile.
You tossed chopped onions into the pan with a hiss. âSoup,â you said. âItâs quick. Itâs easy. And you probably wonât die eating it.â
Soobin gave a little laughâshort and breathy. âThatâs a really strong endorsement.â
âIâve seen your cooking, Choi. This is already an upgrade.â
He gasped, hand clutching his chest like youâd mortally wounded him. âYou donât forget anything, do you?â
âThree different instant noodles. All undercooked. All aggressively beige.â
âThat was years ago!â he protested, a smile tugging at his lips. You nudged him with your hip as you passed behind him. âJust donât set anything on fire, and weâll call it a win.â
âI can be helpful,â he mumbled, already reaching for the cutting board. âYou just⊠never let me.â
You glanced at him, amused. âYouâre the one who told me not to let you near knives.â
âRight, but likeâŠâ He shrugged, scratching at the back of his neck. âThat was before.â
You handed him a block of tofu and the worldâs dullest knife. âOkay, Chef of the Year. Tiny cubes. No bleeding.â He took it with an exaggerated sigh. âNo faith in me at all.â
You turned back to the stove, only to hear the distinct sound of tofu being⊠destroyed.
You looked. âThatâs a massacre.â
âI panicked,â he muttered, eyebrows drawn together like he was concentrating on defusing a bomb. You stepped beside him without thinking. âHere,â you said, adjusting his grip. âLike this.â Your fingers curled gently around his hand, repositioning his hold on the knife. Your chest brushed his arm. He stilled.
The silence bloomed wide. You felt his breath catchâjust barely. Like a sound he wasnât sure he should let out. When he turned his head, your faces were closer than theyâd meant to be. Too close.
âI think Iâm messing up on purpose,â he said, voice so low it barely reached you.
You blinked. âWhy?â He hesitated. His eyes flicked to your lips, then away again, like he didnât mean to. âBecause, uh⊠getting corrected isnât so bad?â
Your heart stuttered.
And for one wild second, you thought he might actually mean it. Not in a joke way. Not in a âweâre just friends messing aroundâ way. But in the kind of way that stayed with you, long after it passed. You pulled back quickly, your voice higher than it needed to be. âYouâre ridiculous.â
âYouâre blushing.â
âIâm not.â
âYou totally are,â he mumbled, looking weirdly pleased with himself. You turned back to the soup before your face could fully betray you. âDinnerâs almost done.â
âSmells good.â The way he said itâit wasnât loud or performative. Just warm. Quiet. Like he meant it and didnât know how to say much else.
âI can, um⊠I can set the table,â he offered after a beat, fiddling with the towel draped over the chair. âIf that helps.â
âItâs just two plates.â
âStill,â he said, moving toward the cupboard. âFeels like the least I can do.â
You watched him open drawers like he didnât remember where anything wasâeven though heâd been to your kitchen more than once. Even though this version of Soobinâthe soft one, the one who tiptoed through domestic spaces like they were breakableâwas getting harder and harder to pretend didnât feel different.
By the time you both sat down, your pulse still hadnât settled.
He waited until you took your first bite before speaking again.
âThis feels nice,â he said, toying with his chopsticks. âLike⊠familiar.â
You looked up. âFamiliar how?â
He hesitated. âLike, I donât know. Like we used to do this all the time. Even if we didnât.â
You nodded slowly. âYeah. I get that.â There was a pause. He tapped his chopsticks together gently, then added, âNot like this, though.â
Your stomach tightened. Because you knew what he meant. Not with the late rain tapping at the windows. Not with the soft glow of the kitchen light, the quiet between bites. Not with the way his leg brushed yours under the table like it didnât mean anything⊠except it kind of did.
He looked down at his bowl, then back at you, cheeks faintly pink. âItâs probably dumb. Sorry.â
âNo,â you said quickly. âItâs not dumb.â You both sat in the quiet that followed, tension settling like steam in the air between you. Soft. Warm. Unspoken.
And stillâhe glanced at you again, eyes lingering a little longer this time.
âThis,â he murmured, almost to himself, âis the part I think I missed the most.â
You didnât trust yourself to ask what he meant. So you took another bite instead. But your fingers itched where theyâd touched his. And you could feel the weight of the moment, real and quiet and waiting for someone to name it.
So neither of you did.
You just stayed like thatâtwo bowls between you, hearts too full for your mouths to keep up.
â
It had been a while since you last saw Soobin. A month, at least.
His mom had mentioned he was out of town visiting familyâsome cousinâs wedding, maybe. You didnât ask too many questions. Just nodded, said âah,â and tried to pretend your chest didnât ache a little every time you passed his house, reminding you of how alone you felt the first time he had disappeared.Â
In his absence, the days blurred. You slipped too easily back into your old routineâworking, grocery store runs, folding laundry half-awake, hospital visits that drained more than they gave. You didnât have time to miss him. You barely had time to be anything other than tired.
But that night⊠that night was different.
The doctor had been gentle, but that didnât soften the words. Your momâs condition wasnât worseningâbut it also wasnât improving. Theyâd be moving her into a more intensive unit, âjust to keep a closer eye.â That was what they always said. A closer eye. As if that made it better.
You left the hospital numb, your body moving through the motionsâbus ride, walking home, dropping your keys in the dish like muscle memory. You kicked off your shoes and sat on the edge of your bed without meaning to.
And before you knew it, you were opening your laptop. Not the mindless doomscrolling of nights past. Not some clip appearing on your for you page by accident.
You typed it out yourself this time.
Soobin. Variety show. âFaves Fave.â
Intentional.
The screen filled with thumbnailsâbright, curated images of him laughing, grinning, clutching his stomach as he teased his guests. You clicked one. Then another. Then another. It was like oxygen after two weeks of holding your breath.
He looked⊠the same. Familiar and not. Confident, magnetic, a little shy around the edges if you knew where to lookâwhich, of course, you did.
And then you found that episode.
The one with the âdating coachâ guest. Just a cute conceptâflowers, mukbang, the whole club presentation skit . You watched with your chin in your hand, blinking slowly as he fiddled with his sleeves and answered questions with his soft, hesitant smile.
Until the girl leaned forward, resting her elbows on the table, and asked with a teasing lilt, âSoobin-ssi, whatâs your type?â
He laughed first. Ducking his head, already shaking it. âYouâre gonna make me get in troubleâŠâ The staff cackled. The guest encouraged him.
âSomeone who⊠leads?â he finally said, face pink and gaze darting away. âIâm more⊠I think Iâm usually⊠the follower type.â The camera zoomed in. He rubbed at the back of his neck, looking utterly sheepish.
You sat frozen, mouse hovering over the pause button. Your stomach did something ridiculous.
It was the way he said itâlike it wasnât meant to be scandalous. Just honest. Earnest. And yet your brain short-circuited.
He wasnât lying.
Over the next few days, you found yourself spiraling. Not in a dangerous way. Just⊠quietly. Internally. You kept replaying his wordsâthe shy, almost whispered confession that he liked being led. That he was the follower, not the leader. It was a simple thing, but it hit you in a way you didnât expect.
You found yourself wondering what that really meantâhow it would feel to be the one guiding him, to be the person he trusted enough to follow. It was strange how just thinking about it made your chest tighten, your skin buzz with something like electricity. You tried to tell yourself it was just the stress, the exhaustion, the endless waiting for your mom to get better. But you knew better.
When you saw him again, it was like the air between you had shifted, though nothing had really changed. You were hanging out like usualâtalking, laughing, stealing quick glances at each otherâbut now every look carried weight. Every casual brush of your hands or accidental touch sent your heart racing.
Soobin was the sameâsoft-spoken, a little awkward, but somehow more open, more vulnerable. He wasnât joking when he said he liked being led. You could see it in how he deferred to you on small things, how he hesitated before making decisions, like he was waiting for your cue. And you? You were barely holding yourself together inside.
The doorbell rang just as you were finishing up dinnerâyour hands still a little flour-dusted, the kitchen smelling faintly of garlic and rosemary. You wiped them on your apron, heart skipping in a way that was maybe more than just nerves about having company.Â
When you opened the door, Soobin was there, standing with that familiar, slightly sheepish smile that always made your chest tighten. His hair was a bit tousled from the wind, and his eyes held that soft, tentative look youâd come to know so well.
 âHey,â he said quietly, voice low like he was trying not to disturb the calm.Â
âHey,â you replied, stepping aside to let him in.Â
He kicked off his shoes like he always didâneatly, side by side by the door, like a good guest. Like someone who belonged.
You didnât say anything, just followed him with your gaze as he wandered into the kitchen, peering into the pot on the stove.
âOoh,â he said, drawing out the sound, his voice lilting with approval. âIt smells like⊠actual food. I thought you were just gonna microwave ramen.â
You rolled your eyes, your heartbeat thudding annoyingly fast. âExcuse you. I am a cooking god.â
He was joking. You knew that. Just Soobin being Soobinâsoft and playful and a little smug without realizing it. But the way he leaned against your counter, arms crossed, sleeves pushed up, collar looseâŠ
Yeah. This was going to kill you. Because he had no idea.
No idea that youâd spent two nights watching him on screenâsmiling, laughing, stupidly talking about his ideal type like it was just another throwaway question. Like it hadnât rearranged something inside you.
âIâm usually the follower type,â heâd said.
And maybe it was stupid, the way your brain latched onto that. The way your body responded like it had been waiting for an excuse. You turned away quickly, grabbing bowls from the cabinet with more force than necessary. Focus.
âSo,â he said behind you, âwhatâs the occasion?â
âWhat?â
âYou cooked. For me. Without bribery or threats involved.â He leaned over your shoulder, just barely, just enough that you could feel the warmth of him at your back. âShould I be worried?â
You forced a laugh. âMaybe I missed having someone around who bugs me while Iâm chopping onions.â
âAh,â he said with mock solemnity. âSo I am but a tool for your entertainment.â
You could feel the heat of him behind youâjust barely there, just enough to make it impossible to think straight.
Tool for your entertainment, heâd said.
You nearly dropped the ladle.
God, he had no idea what that did to you.
Your brain, already frayed from too many late nights watching his interviews on loopâwatching him smile at someone else, laugh at someone else's jokeânow seized on that one line, innocent and offhand, like your nervous system needed a final push toward collapse.
"Iâm the follower type."
Most people wouldâve let it pass. A throwaway comment. But not you. Not after hearing the way heâd said itâvoice low, almost shy, like it had slipped out by accident. Like it meant something.
And now here he was. In your kitchen. Wearing your hoodie. Joking about being your âtool,â like the universe had a twisted sense of humor and was testing your ability to not spontaneously combust.
âSure,â you managed, ladling soup into a bowl with what you hoped was a steady hand. âAn incredibly useful tool.â
He gasped dramatically, clutching his chest. âWow. Iâve been demoted to household equipment. I used to be someone.â
You bit your lip.
Donât laugh. Donât think about what he said. Definitely donât think about what that would look like.
You turned to hand him the bowlâand instantly regretted it.
He was close. Too close. Close enough that you could see the faint sprinkle of freckles near his collarbone, the soft curve of his throat. Close enough to feel the warmth of him. And worseâclose enough to see his smile up close, the one that crinkled the corners of his eyes in a way that felt entirely, devastatingly sincere; his dimples on full display.Â
You passed him the bowl with a shallow breath, eyes on anything but his face. He took it gently. But didnât step away.
âAre you okay?â he asked, voice softer now. Too soft. The kind of softness that pried things loose.
You looked up. Mistake number two. His brows were slightly furrowed, gaze searchingânot teasing this time, not even curious. Just⊠concerned. Like he could feel the ripple of something under the surface but didnât know where it led.
âIâm fine,â you said too fast, too light. âJust tired.â
He didnât argue, but the way he looked at you made it clear he wasnât buying it completely. Still, he nodded, letting the moment settle.
You grabbed your own bowl and sat down quickly, needing the table between you. Needing space. Needing something solid to keep you from doing something stupid like saying the actual thoughts screaming in your head.
He sat across from you, legs tucked up like always, like your living room wasnât any different from his. Like no time had passed at all. Like he hadnât just accidentally unraveled you with a single joke and a borrowed hoodie.
Like he belonged here.
And you let him. Of course you did. Even now, even with your pulse skipping and your thoughts stuck on that clip. The one where heâd smiled, soft and unguarded, and said âI donât mind being told what to do,â and the room had laughed, but you hadnât.
Because it hadnât felt like a joke to you.
It had felt like a truth. One he hadnât meant to share. One you couldnât unhear.
And now it sat in your chest like a secret too big to hold. A glowing ember you couldnât stamp out.
He slurped a spoonful of soup and let out a satisfied hum. âSo whatâs in this? Other than the tears you shed while I was goneâ
You swallowed hard, fighting for focus. âGarlic. Herbs. A careful measure of whatâs left of my sanity.â
He snorted. âWell, itâs seasoned perfectly.â
You gave him a weak smile, cheeks already warm, though it had nothing to do with the stove.
Because this wasnât just banter anymore. This wasnât normal. It was familiar, yesâbut in a way that felt dangerous now. Because the more he settled back into your life, into your house, into the clothes you used to sleep inâthe harder it became to separate who he used to be from what he was starting to mean now.
He had no idea. None. He didnât know that every casual smile, every soft laugh, every offhanded comment was completely undoing you. You glanced upâand found him already watching you.
You froze.
âWhat?â
He blinked like he hadnât meant to get caught. âNothing,â he said quickly. âYouâre just⊠quiet tonight.â
You looked down at your bowl.
âYeah,â you said again. âJust tired.â
He didnât press, but his gaze lingered, and in the stretch of silence that followed, you wonderedâjust for a secondâif he saw it. The shift. The crack in your composure. The storm is blooming just beneath your skin.
But then he took another bite. Casual. Comfortable.
And you sat there, across from the boy who was quietly ruining your life, wondering how much longer you could pretend it wasnât happening.
â-
EIGHT YEARS AGO
It had been the class field trip to the mountainsâthe last big outing before graduation.
Everyone had been buzzing about it for weeks: a whole day out of school. You hadnât planned on going at firstâtoo many people, too much noiseâbut your friends insisted. And somewhere deep down, beneath your careful excuses, you knew Soobin would be there.
And yeah. Maybe that was the real reason you said yes.
The day itself was easy. Light. The sun shimmered across the water, laughter bounced off the docks. Soobin had helped pass out life jackets, sleeves rolled up, hair pushed back by the wind, that easygoing smile on his face. He was joking with everyone, relaxedâbut his eyes kept finding you. When he thought you werenât looking.
You caught him once. Watching.
He smiled. You looked away.
It shouldâve felt warm. Comforting. Safe.
But then, laterâwhen everyone was crowded around a picnic table, eating soggy sandwiches and swatting mosquitoesâyou overheard it.
Two classmates, sitting a few feet behind you. One of them is his friend. The other a notorious gossip.
âIâm telling you,â one said, tearing into a juice pouch. âSoobin was gonna ask her to the lake.â
âHer? Seriously?â
âYeah. Said heâd do it if she said yes to coming. But then he got all weird. Said she shuts down whenever he gets close. But, like, you can tell. He does everything she says. Itâs kind of sad.â
You froze, a sandwich half-bitten in your hand.
He was going to ask you. You hadnât imagined it. The quiet tension, the soft attentionâit had meant something. And maybe, just maybe, it still would have meant something.
But then came the second realization. The one that burrowed deeper.
He wouldâve done it just because you came.Â
Because you said yes.
Because he always listened.
Because he always followed your lead.
And you couldnât breathe.
Because if he liked you like thatâreally liked youâthen that meant being wanted. Being chosen. Again. And what had that ever brought anyone?
Everyone you loved either left or got sick. That wasn't a coincidence. That was you.
You had started to believe, somewhere in the quiet dark, that maybe you were the problem. That maybe there was something inside youâruinous and invisibleâthat made people go. Like you carried a sickness only the people closest to you ever caught.
And Soobin? Soobin was the kind of boy who wouldâve followed you straight into the storm, no questions asked.
He didnât deserve that.
So you shut down.
The rest of the day passed in a blur. You avoided his gaze. Didnât laugh at his jokes. When the canoes got pulled out, you volunteered for the group on the other end of the lake. You didnât even sit near him on the bus ride back.
And the texts, later that night? Left unread.
When he approached you in the hallway the next week, worry in his eyes, asking if something was wrongâyou shrugged.
âDonât worry about it,â you said. And then walked away.
You never told him why. Never told him that your silence wasnât about him. It was about you. What you believed you did to the people who loved you.
He didnât chase after you. Not out loud. But you saw him watching you in class a few times after that. Quiet. Like he was waiting for a sign that never came. The last time you saw him was three days after the hike. He was standing by the bike racks after school, bag slung over one shoulder, kicking gravel. He looked up when you walked out with your friends.
You paused.
He straightened. Took a half step forward. âHey.â
You stopped. Barely. âHey.â
âI just wanted to ask if I⊠said something wrong?â
He looked so unsure, so open, so soft. All you wanted was to walk back toward him. Say something. Say everything.
But you didnât.
You gave him a weak smile that didnât reach your eyes.
âDonât worry about it.â Then you left.
No final goodbye. No explanation. Just silence.
And that was the last time you saw Soobin. Before the auditions, the debut, the lights and cameras and screams and fame turned him into someone the whole world watched. Youâd think about that moment by the fence. About how he wouldâve done anything for you, if youâd only let him.
But you hadnât. Because somewhere deep down, you still believed you were the thing that made people sick. And you couldnât let him catch it too.
So instead, you let him go. Quiet. Clean. Cowardly.
And the worst part?
You were never sure if he even hated you for it.
â
The soup was gone. The dishes were rinsed, half-drying on the rack.
The living room was dim now, only the lamp in the corner still on, casting long golden light over everything. The night had settled in soft around youâquiet, still, deceptively calm. Soobin was sprawled out on your couch, legs long and socked feet hanging off the edge like he forgot how tall he was. You sat on the floor with your back against the coffee table, scrolling through a playlist on your phone, pretending like you werenât hyper-aware of his presence. Of the warmth of his thigh brushing the cushion where your elbow rested. Of the way his eyes followed you when he thought you werenât looking.
You were looking.
âWanna watch something?â you offered, keeping your voice casual. âYou havenât seen the new season of that show you liked, right?â
âHmm,â he hummed, quiet for a second. âI kinda just wanna sit like this.â
You didnât say anything. Couldnât, really. Your mouth had gone dry. Because the way he said it wasnât teasing. It was simple. Earnest.
Like this.
With you. In your space. With your things and your scent on the throw blanket and the memory of your hand on his guiding a knife hours ago. He turned his head a little, resting his cheek on the back of the couch.
âYouâre really quiet tonight,â he said again. âNot just tired, quiet⊠Itâs likeâŠyouâre thinking too much.â
You stared ahead at the wall, the grain in the wood, the dust in the lampâs halo of light.
âIâm always thinking too much.â
âYeah,â he said softly. âBut this feels different.â
You drew your knees up to your chest, arms wrapping around them.
âI justâŠâ You hesitated. âI think Iâve forgotten how to be around you.â
He blinked. Sat up straighter. âWhat do you mean?â
âI mean,â you said, trying to laugh, trying to swallow the tension, âwe hang out like this and itâs supposed to feel easy, but it doesnât anymore.â
He looked at you carefully. Slowly.
And then, softer than before: âWhy doesnât it?â
You didnât answer. You couldnât.
He let the silence stretch a beat longer, then got up.
You thought maybe he was going to leave. But instead, he walked over and sat beside you on the floor, shoulder-to-shoulder. Close. Warm.
âCan I ask you something?â he murmured.
You turned your head. âYou just did.â
He gave you a look, but there was no bite to it. Only hesitation.
âDid I do something?â he asked.
Your heart thudded.
âNo,â you said quickly. âNo, itâs notââ You exhaled hard. âYou didnât do anything.â
âThen what is it?â
You turned your face toward your knees, hiding your expression. But his voice followed, low and careful.
âYou didnât do anything,â I say again, quieter this timeâalmost a whisper, like if I say it soft enough, maybe itâll unravel the knot tightening in my chest.
Soobin stays still. Not a word. No response. He just waits.
And somehow, that silence makes everything harder to bear.
I press my cheek against my knee, voice muffled and uneven. âIt just got me thinking⊠back in high school. That field trip to the mountains.â You donât know why youâre bringing this up now.Â
I feel the faintest tilt of his head, a subtle sign heâs listening, but he doesnât meet my eyes.
âAfter that tripâŠâ I trail off, twisting the sleeve of my shirt around my fingers, the fabric rough beneath my skin. âI donât know whyââ The words catch in my throat, and the room feels heavy with unspoken things. I swallow hard. âI donât know why I stopped talking to you.â
Lies. Lies. Lies. Because I know the truth, but itâs too fragile, too raw to say out loud.
Finally, I steal a glance at himâjust for a moment.
His face softens. Thereâs a flicker of surprise in his eyes, maybe something else too. Something like understanding. Or forgiveness.
And in that quiet exchange, it feels like a small crack opens in the wall between usâfragile, but real.
He shifts beside me, the couch groaning beneath his weight. Then, softly:
âI didnât know,â he says.
His voice is different now. Not teasing. Not soft for the sake of comfortâbut careful. Honest.
âI thoughtâŠâ He hesitates, rubbing the back of his neck like he always does when heâs nervous. âI thought maybe you didnât like me. That I was too much.â
My heart stutters.
âYou werenât,â You say quickly, instinctively. âYou werenât too much. You were justâŠâ
You falter again. He looks at you nowâreally looks at youâand you feel like heâs seeing through every version of you youâve built up over the years.
âI overheard some guys talking about you,â You keep going, twisting the sleeve of your shirt around your fingers. âThey said you were going to ask me out, maybe confess something.â
So much silence.Â
âAnd it just... freaked me out.âÂ
You donât say it lightly. You say it like a confession, like a weight lifted from your shoulders but also like a wound reopened. Because it costs you something to admit.
âI didnât know how to deal with it,â You admit, voice catching a little. âThe idea that you might like me... that I might have to say it back.â
You finally glance at himâjust for a second. His face softens. A flicker of surprise, maybe something else.
âSo I did the worst thing,â You confess, taking a shaky breath. âI avoided you.â
You swallow hard. âI told myself it didnât matter. That Iâd forget. But I never did.â
He stays quiet longer than you want. You think maybe Youâve ruined everything.
âYou know,â he says after a long moment, âI used to think about that field trip a lot.â
You turn toward him.
âI kept wondering if I said something wrong. Maybe I embarrassed you.â
âYou didnât.â
He nods. âI know that now. But back thenâŠâ
His voice drifts. Thereâs a different kind of sadness in it. Not bitter. Just the kind that comes from remembering a version of yourself who didnât know better.
ââŠI guess I needed you to say this more than I realized,â he finishes.
You both donât say anything for a while after that. The silence between you isnât emptyâitâs full of things finally said, finally heard.
Thenâlike the Soobin youâve always knownâhe cracks a crooked grin, glancing sideways at me.
âSoâŠâ he says, light but sincere, ânow that weâve established we were both emotionally constipated teenagersâŠâ
You snort. âYouâre the worst.â
He nudges your shoulder again, softer this time. âJust saying. We had a lot of potential for a coming-of-age drama. Tears, longing stares, tragic misunderstandings.â
âAnd a bad soundtrack,â you say, trying to keep your voice light, though something twists in your chest. âYou wouldâve done well with a sad ballad.â
âOh, definitely,â he murmurs, looking forward now, like heâs watching a movie that only he can see. âFade to black. Cue emotional credits.â
You smile faintly at that. Or maybe you try to. Because the warmth between youâthe comfort, the quietâit feels like something that could settle. Something that could stay.
But then the silence stretches again. Not like before. This one sharpens. Something shifts in the air, almost imperceptibly, and you feel it before you hear it. The way Soobin suddenly exhales, the weight in his shoulders changing.
You glance at him.
Heâs not smiling anymore. His eyes darken with something unsaidâan emotion too raw to voice but too heavy to hide.
In that moment, the space between you changes. Itâs no longer just a shared past. Itâs a crossing point.
A line drawn. Between what was⊠and what could be.
And somehow, without words, you both know it.
This is the turning point.
The moment everything begins to change. His eyes darken, intense and searching, as they lock onto yours. The world narrows until itâs just the two of youâbreath mingling, hearts hammering in sync.
guys...i reached the 1000 word block GO TO PAHT TWO
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Review Written for The K-Fic Collection.
I truly, utterly adored every moment of this story. Iâm terrible at putting my thoughts and feelings into words, but I genuinely donât think there was a single syllable of this entire story that Iâd want to change. It truly is a work of art.
Thank you so much for writing this masterpiece and blessing us all by sharing it with us!
When I was reading, I decided to write down my thoughts as I go, as I knew I'd forget otherwise. Below this is literally just the thoughts I wrote down because I do not have the brain power to convert them into actual fully coherent comments [I'll put them below a read more cut for the sake of spoilers and such]
-
â âMiss Witch! Miss Witch!â â I donât know why, but this is really cute to me
â Â âThereâs a man in the frozen river, Miss Witch!â â well, that certainly is significant
â âItâs a demon.â â dun dun dunnn
â âOh.â You blink. The two of you had marched past the woods a decent while ago. â this made me giggle
â the stereotype that humans are all too eager to place on them â dammed humans, always harshly judging and generalising those different to them
â but the lacey edges of morning mist are still blurring the edges of your sight â ooh, I really like this phrase
â âAnd no, Joongseok, we donât know if itâs truly vile yet.â â you tell âem!
Poor, frozen baby :((
â This fox demon is devastatingly pretty â yeah he is
â The children are screaming, ear-piercingly loud, and Seungcheol is screaming too â this made me laugh, Iâm just imagining big, buff seungcheol screaming like a child đ
â simply lifting a hand and giving Seungcheol the finger. â the way this made me giggle though
â the only magic user-slash-competent doctorâ ooh drag âem!
â âSeungcheol. Kindly, please, fuck off.â â ha!
â Hansol squeaks, a small, high-pitched sound that instantly floods him with mortification when it accidentally slips past his lips, and he screws his eyes shut and curls into himself, knocking your hand away hurriedly in his rush to hide his face. â oh, precious babie
â âWow,â you breathe out. And then you smile. âYouâre adorable.â â he is! I wholeheartedly agree
â If you arenât careful, you could accidentally fall in love right then and there. â understandable
â Like the magic can talk, and when it noticed the magic that lives inside you, it seems to yip with recognition, spinning itself around in excitement in the yokaiâs hands. â oh, I really love this, itâs so cute
â âBut youâre very pretty,â Hansol says. âAre you sure?â â did he just indirectly call himself pretty too? Itâs an understatement if so
â âI want to take care of you.â â I just đ„ș
â âI donât mind staying with just you.â â oh, Iâm gonna screech
â A book fort. â thatâs so cool, I want one. Iâd definitely accidentally knock it down on my own head though, so probably best I donât have one
â âOkay, Y/N, stop whispering with the⊠him,â â ah, yeah, âthe himâ, a strange and elusive species
â âSo when Iâm scared, it starts acting up even more, which is why the ice was so thick, too. Like it was trying to protect me, âcause it knew I was scared of someone hurting me.â â poor babie :((
â Hansol is just so⊠â he really is
â Too distracted with Hansolâs face â so fucking understandable. The man is unfairly pretty
Oh, I love how easily Soonyoung accepted hansol without hesitation đ„ș
â âThis village is your village, and I want to be with you.â â AHHHHHHHHHHH HEâS SO PRECIOUS
Oh, him playing with all the kiddos is so cute, he fits right in!
â seriously, where do these kids come from? â well, when a mummy and a daddy love each other very much⊠ehehehe
â âShe said to me that she liked him, and she wanted me to open my eyes and finally realise how much of a good person he is.â â go, Mrs Choi! Talk some sense into your son!
â âEspecially considering the fact youâre in love with him, too.â â oh dang, he doesnât beat around the bush, does he lol
â And throughout it all, Hansol manages to find your gaze no matter where he is, gold eyes seeking your gold magic, and the beautiful sound of his laughter leaves you breathless every time. â SCREAMING OVER HERE this is so fucking precious omg
â Soonyoung, inexplicably, looked like heâd been dunked five times in a swimming pool, rather than emerging victorious from a snowball fight. â that really checks out
â He tastes like magic, like love, like soft snow that numbs your senses but leaves your heart alive and alight and oh, this is everything you never knew you needed and more. â đ„ș
yeoubi. // chwe hansol

ìŹì°ëč (yeo-u-bi) : noun. literally âfox rainâ â when sunlight filters through rainfall, creating a golden shower.
PAIRING : vernon x f!reader
INFO : east asian historical fantasy(ish. i kinda made up my own mythology), fox demon!vernon, silver!vernon, immortal!witch!yn, fluff, magic, strangers to lovers
WORD COUNT : 22.3k+
WARNINGS : blood mention, injuries, slight discrimination against yokai, cursing
NOTES : for the @camandemstudios winter with you collab! i had so so so much fun writing yeoubi and it's genuinely one of the best things ive done this year. writing a fantasy au soft vernon fic was never something that i thought i needed to write, but now i have, and i love him and i love this and i hope everyone loves yeoubi just as much as i do too <3
SYNOPSIS : living as a magic, immortal healer in a rural, human mountain village means most of your existence has been rather peaceful. that is, until one cold winter when an injured yokai stumbles into your life; and though everyone else is terrified of him, you take him in, nurse him back to health, and show the others that some demons arenât that scary after all. (...and maybe, just maybe, you end up falling for the pretty fox yokai too.)
For the first time in years, the river freezes over.
During winter, itâs often a lot harder for you to notice things like this, as the cold dulls your senses and numbs your fingers, so youâre only informed of this fact when the village children come to your cottage in the morning, their high-pitched voices blending with the mismatched beats of their fists knocking against your door.
âMiss Witch! Miss Witch! Thereâs something wrong with the river!â
âThe river is all solid, Miss Witch!â
âMiss Witch, we canât play in the river! Can you fix it for us, Miss Witch?â
Blanket wrapped around your shoulders, you open the door with a groggy smile, squinting down at the children on your doorstep.
âHello, little kids. What are you doing here?â
âMiss Witch!â one of the children chirps. âGood morning!â
Despite being half-asleep, you canât help but laugh a little at their chipperness. The children are, undeniably, your favourite people in this entire village.
âGood morning,â you say, bemused. âHow may I help you?â
Their voices rise in volume again, all of them clamouring to be heard over each other. It canât be any later than five in the morning, and your fingertips prickle with the cold grey of the mist as you blink down at them, surprised at their energy.
A girl tugs at the end of your blanket, wide-eyed. âMiss Witch, the river is all hard. We donât know whatâs going on.â
âAh,â you say gently. âI see.â Crouching down so youâre at eye level with the kids, you ask, âIf the river is hard, solid, and cold, what do you think that means?â
The children blink at you.Â
âWhat else is hard, solid, and cold?â
One of them brightens. âIce!â
âExactly,â you say, smiling. âThe river has turned into ice. Itâs nothing to worry about, but it does mean itâs very, very cold right now, so why arenât any of you wearing any hats or scarves, hm?âÂ
You ruffle the hair of the nearest child, and she shakes her head, giggling. âWe were helping the grown-ups, of course! Something happened at the river, anâ they told us to go away.â
âSo we came to you,â another boy pipes up. âThey said somethingâs wrong!â
You tilt your head. Whilst itâs certainly been several decades since the river last froze over, itâs no reason for the villagers to worry that much about it. Itâs also not something that your magic can fix, or something that needs to be fixed, soâ
âY/N!â
You look up at the call, and see a man in the distance, jogging down the pathway towards your cottage. Itâs still far too dark to see clearly, but you smile at the familiar voice.
âSoonyoung,â you call back. âGood morning! Are you here to tell me about the frozen river, too? Donât worry, itâs completely normal and not dangerous at all.â
His reply, if he has any at all, goes unheard as one of the children suddenly cries out, as if heâs had an epiphany.
You look down at him, amused. âWhatâs wrong?â
âI just remembered, something else happened at the river,â he says brightly. His remark makes some of the other children perk up too, as if they also remembered this other thing that had happened.
The kids are all at the age where something like a leaf falling onto their heads would be remarkably significant, so as you wait for Soonyoung to come closer and deliver the actual news, you decide to humour them, smiling and tilting your head interestedly. âOh, really? What was it?â
 âThereâs a man in the frozen river, Miss Witch!â
âAââ The smile turns to stone on your face. âA what?â
âNot a man,â Soonyoung says. Heâs finally reached your doorstep now, and you notice that his usual easy smile is nowhere to be seen. He frowns down at the children, displeased. âWhat are you all doing here? We told you to go home, not to Y/N.â
âThey thought I could help,â you say placatingly. âItâs okay. And if thereâs a man stuck in the river, you might need my help after all.â
âNot a man,â Soonyoung repeats, his face darkening. âItâs not a man.â
You raise an eyebrow at the graveness in his tone. âWell, then you certainly do need my help, it seems. What is it?â
Soonyoung sighs. His exhale clouds the air, and your fingers prickle even more at his next words, like invisible icicles piercing through your skin.
âItâs a demon.â
âââââââââââââ ââœ,Â
You are not exactly a human.
Certainly, you look and dress like oneâand you have to eat and sleep like one too, otherwise terrible things happen to your energy levelsâbut that doesnât mean you are human. There are some things which make you slightly different.
One of those things being that you live forever.
âWhat do you mean you donât know if itâs hostile?â Soonyoung demands, struggling to match your strides as you hurry towards the river. âOf course itâs hostile. Itâs a fucking demon!â
âWhen youâve lived as long as I have, you come to realise that some yokai arenât hostile,â you respond, frosted-over leaves crunching under your feet. Soonyoung squawks back something unintelligible, too out of breath to make an argument.Â
After encouraging the children to return back to their homes and sleepâsince it really is five in the morning, and none of them should be awakeâyou and Soonyoung began making your way to where the rest of the villagers were.Â
The river flows down from the mountain that the village is located near. The further up you go, the more dangerous the terrain becomes, and you pause on a jagged rock to frown down at Soonyoung, whoâs gasping as he tries to keep up.
âDid you really find the yokai over here? Why were any of you up here in the first place?â
âWe didnât,â Soonyoung said hoarsely. âIâve been trying to tell you for ages. The demon was found near the edge of the woods.â
âOh.â You blink. The two of you had marched past the woods a decent while ago. âOkay.â And then you float down from the rock, lightly hopping over frozen patches of land, past Soonyoung again. âCome on, letâs turn back, then.â
Soonyoung sighs, turns around, and begins his clumsy, human descent. âYou could at least use your magic to help me down too, you know.â
And thatâs the other different thing about you. Magic. Itâs such a flimsy, weak word for what you can do, but itâs also the best way to describe it. There are certain things about you, certain things youâre capable of in the way that no human can ever truly be.
Without even looking back, you wave a hand, and a glowing stream of wind nudges Soonyoungâs feet towards the easiest path down. âI donât know what youâre talking about. And hurry up before those villagers aggravate the yokai even more.â
Demons, or more traditionally, yokai, arenât something youâve encountered in countless decades. As technology and weapons developed, and the human population expanded, many yokai simply faded out of existence, unable to sustain themselves in the less wild, less natural environment that humans created. Others were smart enough to recognise they now had less of an advantage over humans, and tended to stay away from densely populated areas, preferring to target any lone travellers who ventured too far into their territory.
Yokai values and morals are vastly different to humans, and they are so incomprehensible to mortals that yokai gained a reputation for being vindictive, vicious, vile, and all other negative âvâ words. That doesnât necessarily make them so, however, and over your lifetime, youâve encountered some who don't quite fit the stereotype that humans are all too eager to place on them.
It takes you and Soonyoung long enough to get to the river that the sky has lightened ever so slightly, but the lacey edges of morning mist are still blurring the edges of your sight, and you can only barely see what the villagers are looking at, especially with them all crowding around and pushing against each other to get closer to the river.
You crane your neck, standing on tiptoe, before huffing. Scratch that, you canât see anything.
âMove out of my way, please,â you say sharply, adding a little volume magic to your voice so that it carries over the whole crowd.Â
Most of them instantly look back at that and clock your presence, eyes widening. Some of them begin rushing towards you, looking almost like their children as they begin talking over each other all at once.
âY/N, thereâs a demonââ
âAbsolutely vile creature, is there any wayââ
ââriverâs all frozen, how did it even get hereââ
âOkay, okay, okay!â you interrupt, adding even more volume to your voice to be heard. âMinah, yes, I know thereâs a demon. Soonyoung told me. And no, Joongseok, we donât know if itâs truly vile yet. And Woongri, yokai often work with magic, so it couldâve gotten here in a variety of ways. But if you want me to do something, you have to let me through. Yes?â
Youâre tired, and cold, and dealing with stressed adults is not the best way to start the day, so you're more blunt than is perhaps necessary, but it gets your point across. The villagers look sufficiently contrite and finally shuffle to the side, making way for you to get through. Seungcheol, the village leader, nudges his way through the crowd until heâs by your side, face solemn.
âGood morning,â he says. âSorry about the chaos.â
âGood morning,â you say back, voice now normal volume once again. âItâs okay. Everyoneâs scared. You donât call me at ungodly hours unless itâs serious, so I donât mind.â
Seungcheol nods, looking both grave and apologetic. âWe only ever want you to use your magic for good.â
Itâs a terribly human thing to say, and you smile dryly. âOf course. What can I help you with this time?â
âWell⊠You can help with that.â Seungcheol points to a mound of warped ice a little ways down the river. âHow can we get rid of it?â
You squint in the direction Seungcheolâs pointing at, peering through the tendrils of mist, and then gasp. Half-buried into the ice of the river, you can make out a blurry, pale-coloured figure clothed in pale silk. Dark liquid pools in all directions surrounding the motionless body, and anyone can tell the yokai is very badly hurt.Â
âItâs already bleeding half to death, so it shouldnât be too hard to finishâ wait, Y/N!â
Ignoring Seungcheolâs shouts, you step onto the frozen surface of the river and rush towards the yokai, and your blood runs cold as you take in the sight before you.
The yokai is a fox demon, you notice, with white ears and soft silver hair and a gorgeous white tail, which is partially being crushed by a riverâs worth of ice. Heâs waist-deep in the frozen water, and a thick layer of more ice has begun to form around the yokaiâs torso from where heâs slumped against the surface of the river at an almost unnatural angle, causing his poor tail to be twisted and buried both in the river and the new ice.
âOh, darling,â you whisper, kneeling down beside him, tracing a finger across the yokaiâs cheek. Your finger comes away stained dark with blood, and you swallow thickly, heart constricting.
The crushing ice isnât the end of the damage: thereâs blood pouring from seemingly unknown sources, matted into the fox demonâs hair and streaking down his neck. He must have been in some sort of fight before getting stuck in the river.Â
Gently, you thumb over the yokaiâs cheek, taking in the pale skin and delicate eyelashes. This fox demon is devastatingly pretty, and seeing him so badly injured makes your heart hurt even more.
Something rustles near the riverbank, and you look back to see some of the children hiding amongst the leaves, peering curiously at you as you kneel next to the yokai. Further up the river, Seungcheol is approaching you, wanting to know your thoughts on the demon, and his eyes widen as he also notices the children in the bushes.
âWhat are you doing here?â he says in their direction, the disapproval clear in his tone. âItâs dangerous! You shouldnât be looking at this. Where are your parents? Didnât Soonyoung tell you to go home?â
âBut we wanna see Miss Witch,â one boy says, eyes wide. âPlease, canât we stay?â
You frown and open your mouth, preparing to reprimand them, but then the yokai makes a soft, pained sound beside you, and you instantly return your attention to him, bending down even closer to his face.
Seungcheol cries out, this time in your direction as you lean towards the yokai. âY/N, what are you doing? Stay back!â
You ignore him, reaching out a hand to brush matted hair out of the yokaiâs eyes. âHello? Hello, can you hear me?â
The yokai scrunches his eyes up, whimpering in pain. The moment heâd returned to consciousness, heâd started shivering intensely, struck by the cold of the river.Â
âHello?â you repeat, gentle. You move your hand away from the yokaiâs face, directing it towards the ice surrounding his back instead. Silently reciting an incantation, the ice begins to glow orange under your palm, slowly beginning to melt away. âCan you tell me your name?â
The yokai shivers, mumbles something unintelligible. Then he looks up at you, golden irises shuddering in fear, every movement of his face telling you it hurts, it hurts, it hurts.Â
One of the children lets out a shriek, and you whip your head up in alarm. They donât look hurt, but the yokai notices the sound too, raising his head to look at them with wide, unsettling eyes, and the children shriek again, all of them frozen in fear. You can kind of understand why: the fox demon is covered in blood, and anyone unacquainted with the supernatural would find his slitted golden eyes petrifying.Â
But before you can say anything, do anything to reassure them, the ice around his back makes a cracking sound as it melts under your hand, and the yokaiâs mouth drops open in pain. He coughs, splattering blood over the ice, more of the black liquid dripping from the corners of his lips as he starts writhing and scratching against the river, hauling himself up onto his elbows, eyes fixed on the children in the distance, and all hell breaks loose.
The children are screaming, ear-piercingly loud, and Seungcheol is screaming too, and the yokai starts writhing even harder, yipping and gasping like a distressed fox, his hands sticky with his own blood as he tries to push against the ice.Â
âNo, itâs okayâ donât do thatâCheol, let me think!âÂ
Itâs obvious Seungcheol wants you to kill the demon, especially with the way heâs screeching at you right now, but the yokai looks so pitiful, ears shaking, eyes wide, still bleeding from gashes all over his body.
âThink about what?â Seungcheol yells, children cowering behind his legs, and he shields their eyes from the river. âY/N, please, you have to get rid of it!â
You look at him, and then down at the helpless yokai beside you, and really, it takes you less than a second to decide what to do.
âIâm so sorry,â you say, getting to your feet. Seungcheol tenses, sensing something wrong in your tone as you look down at the yokai again, leaning down with your hand outstretched. âIâm so, so sorry.â
Your fingers come into contact with the yokaiâs forehead, and thereâs a golden glow before his eyes flutter shut and he freezes up, before collapsing against the ice.
Hidden safely behind the village leader, the children stop screaming. Seungcheol also doesnât make a sound, still staring wide-eyed at you, and now the yokai is no longer moving, the early morning air is frozen still once more. You look back at Seungcheol, and he blinks, his face unreadable.
âPlease tell me you killed that thing.â
You smile weakly, dried-up demon blood on your fingertips. At your feet, the yokaiâs shoulders move up and down ever so slightly with every shallow breath he takes, unconscious.
âââââââââââââ ââœ,Â
âBad idea,â Seungcheol admonishes loudly from outside your window, and even though thereâs a whole wall and a thick pane of glass separating him from you, his disapproval is crystal clear. âThis is a bad idea. Y/N, let me in. We have to talk about this.â
You donât look up from the boiling pot on the stove, simply lifting a hand and giving Seungcheol the finger.
âHow dareâ Y/N, you cannot let that thing live. Itâs a danger to us. Especially the children! Y/N, think of the children, please, it could hurt the children.â
Seungcheol raps against the glass insistently, but you ignore him, humming to yourself as you ladle some of the boiling concoction into a wooden bowl. Gently, you blow on the steam, inspecting the lilac colour of the liquid before nodding, pleased, and heading over to the yokai asleep on your couch.Â
Itâs been some hours since that moment on the frozen river, where youâd decided to save the yokai trapped in the ice rather than kill him. None of the humans agreed with your decision, however, so youâd had to make the tiring trek down the mountain yourself, a heavy, unconscious yokai in tow. Thatâs partly the reason youâre so tired right now, arms aching as you set the bowl down on the coffee table, where youâve laid out bandages and various dried bags of poultices and face towels to help clean up the yokai.Â
Said yokai is still unconscious and bleeding all over the fabric of your sofa, the golden threads of magic youâd used to briefly staunch his wounds already beginning to fray open once more. You sigh, settling down beside him, and begin inspecting the more serious injuries on his forehead and down his arms.
âWhat happened to you, hm?â you say softly, ignoring Seungcheol still rapping against your window. âWhy are you so hurt?â
Living as the only magic user-slash-competent doctor in a rural village means that you have plenty of experience in patching up the particularly nasty injuries that the villagers sustain, and your hands are careful and practised as you dip a towel into the warm, disinfectant potion youâd made, swiping it over the yokaiâs skin. Heâs injured practically everywhere: deep gashes are scored along his arms, his hands, and thereâs one slashed across his chest. Not to mention his definitely-broken tail, the still-bleeding head wound and, judging by the way blood had been pouring from his mouth out on the lake, some internal injuries you canât see.Â
You wince, taking a towel into your hands. âSorry,â you say, heart twinging in sympathy for the yokai. âIâm so sorry this happened to you. But donât worry, Iâm here to help.â
Ideally, youâd run a bath first and scrub the yokai clean of all the grime and blood before getting to tending his wounds. But heâs a fox demonâridiculously tall and with a fluffy tail and delicate ears, so he wonât fit in your tiny tub and itâll end up being more troublesome than anything else.
So, youâve resorted to magic, dipping a cloth in the potion you've made to melt and dissolve all the dirt into thin air.
The wounds are all worryingly deep, most notably the still-bleeding one on his forehead, and if he were human, youâd be concerned that heâll suffer a serious concussion afterwards, along with an inability to use his hands for a long while. But as it is, the ancient demon-magic that heâs made of will mean that heâll heal pretty quickly, and there should be no grave threat to his life.
Hopefully. As long as he doesnât develop an infection from the open wounds.Â
You finish cleaning up the blood and then wipe down his face with a cool cloth, frowning slightly at how his skin still feels unusually hot. Infections will make his healing process much longer and much more arduous. The poor yokai looks like heâs already been through more than enough, so you really hope the fever dies down soon.
Seungcheol is still yelling at you from your window when you finish your preliminary clean-up, and you sigh heavily, beginning to develop a headache from how annoying he's being. So you walk over to the window, wrench it open, and jab a bloodstained finger in his direction.
âSeungcheol. Kindly, please, fuck off.â
Seungcheol blinks, both startled by your abrupt confrontation and a little affronted, but before he can say anything, you carry on.Â
âCurrently, this yokai is injured, and itâs my job to take care of injured people, regardless of who they are, so you can take any thoughts of me killing him and shove them up your ass. Itâs not happening, and itâs never happening, and youâre also disturbing my patient with the racket youâre creating, so please go away.â
If it were anyone else talking to him like this, Seungcheol would have blown up with anger a solid thirty seconds agoâas it is, he simply stares at you, still looking affronted, before he sighs, and all of the energy drains out of him. He knows how headstrong you are, and when you get like this, he knows thereâs no way he can sway you. Heâll have to wait until youâre no longer brimming with obstinacy to get his thoughts across.
His gaze drops from yours to your bloody finger, and then he sighs again, folding his hands behind his back.
âGive the demon my wishes for his speedy recovery,â he says at last. âBut we still have to talk about this later, Y/N. Okay?â
You huff, and lower your hands. âFine. Later.â With a resolute swish of magic, you shut the window once again and turn your back on Seungcheol to return to your patient.
As village leader, you can understand why Seungcheol may have concerns regarding a yokai entering a human village, but that doesnât mean you like how he has no qualms with telling you to just kill it in an instant. Discrimination against magical creatures is half the reason theyâre so hostile to humans, anyway, and youâd know firsthand how painful it is to be targeted and attacked purely for being who you are.
Itâs not like you ever asked to be magic. And yet, people end up hating you for it.
You look down at the unconscious yokai, with his silver-white fur and gentle eyelashes and those heart-wrenching injuries. Then, wordlessly, you pick up one of the poultices and get to work.
âââââââââââââ ââœ,Â
Hansol wakes up to the strong, warm smell of chrysanthemum.
Itâs an unusual scent to wake up to, and his ears prick up, alarmedâonly for him to cry out a few seconds later, upon realising the action sends a sharp bolt of pain throughout his entire body.
âOh!âÂ
A voice sounds from somewhere above his head, and he startles even more, trying to open his eyes and locate the sound, before realising he canât see.
He cries out again, panicking at the pitch black that surrounds him, flailing around before realising that that action also causes him debilitating pain, and he begins panicking even more. How did he end up here? What happened? All he remembers is being chased through the forest and then tripping and crashing into a river, and then hard ice and the cold water and the throbbing in his head and thenâ and thenâ
Something damp and heavy gets lifted from his eyes and he gasps, freezing up as bright white light almost blinds him.
âSorry, sorry,â the voice from before says, sounding terribly apologetic. âIâm sorry. I shouldâve warned you before doing that.âÂ
Hansol scrunches his eyes, and then squints, vision all blurry from having been unconscious and now being blinded by bright light. He canât see whoâs speaking, but whoever they are, they carry on, the words steadily flowing out faster and faster as the person rambles. He can barely keep up with the onslaught of noise, twitching confusedly and trying to see whatâs going on. The world feels like itâs spinning. Heâs pretty sure the world isnât meant to spin this fast.
âThat was probably really scary when you woke up, huh? Iâm so sorry. The towel slipped from your forehead and covered your eyes, and Iâm sorry I didnât notice. I didnât expect you to wake up now, but I guess thatâs a good thing, âcause youâve been out for a whole day, and any longer and weâre veering into coma territory, which would mean that you were really, really hurt. Which is, like, definitely not good, you know? But you did wake up, thank goodness, so that means thereâs a chance youâll get better very soon. Plus, your fever isnât that bad anymore, so it seems you really are on the road to recovery, which is all veryâoh, wait. Sorry. Itâs still too bright, isnât it?â
Another wave of chrysanthemum hits Hansolâs senses and a hand comes up to his face, creating a shadow over his eyes so heâs no longer squinting furiously up at the disembodied voice.
âSorry,â the voice says, apologising yet again. âIs that better?â
Hansol blinks, slowly opening his eyes fully to look up, and then, the whole world abruptly stops spinning as he finds himself looking at the most beautiful being in the entire history of the universe. He doesnât say a word, mouth falling open in shock.
You smile down at him, made anxious by his silence. âHello,â you say, hand still shielding his eyes from the brunt of the winter light. âMy name is Y/N. Whatâs yours?â
Hansol squeaks, a small, high-pitched sound that instantly floods him with mortification when it accidentally slips past his lips, and he screws his eyes shut and curls into himself, knocking your hand away hurriedly in his rush to hide his face. He tries to bury himself into the couch, shaking.Â
âIâm not going to hurt you,â you say, gently, worried you've scared him. âI promise. I want to help.â Perched on the edge of the couch, you lean over and slowly lower the yokaiâs hands from his face, coaxing him to look at you again. âCan you please tell me your name?â
You smile, again, and Hansol feels a little faint as he looks up at you. His vision is still slightly blurry from his eyes being shut for so long, and the way youâre backlit by the light makes you look like youâre glowing, a gentle halo of silver light surrounding your form. That, coupled with the way you have the prettiest smile heâs ever seen, is making him feel all dizzy. And a bit warm. The air feels like itâs suffocating him, actually, but all of that is made irrelevant by how pretty he thinks your smile is.
Thereâs a possibility heâs still in the process of getting rid of his fever, because he blinks slowly, focused, and when he opens his mouth to speak, the next words spill unbidden from his lips.
âMy name is Hansol,â he says, âand I think youâre the prettiest person alive.â
Your eyes widen at his words, a flush rapidly creeping up your cheeks. Hansol looks at you, worried that youâll suddenly hate him for what heâs just said, but you just laugh, flattered, and bring your hand up to his forehead. The touch is cool against his skin, like a soothing balm.
âThank you, Hansol,â you say. âYour fever seems to still be pretty high, if youâre saying stuff like this, huh? Iâm currently brewing some chrysanthemum tea, and I think itâll be a good idea for you to have some too.â
Hansol blinks slowly again. âChrysanthemum tea,â he muses. He looks up at you. âThat must be why you smell so warm and pretty.â
You laugh again, flustered, subconsciously brushing his hair back from his forehead and cupping his cheek, your fingers feather-light. âPerhaps. So would you like some tea?â
âYes, please,â Hansol says. âIâll have anything⊠you⊠give mâŠâ His eyelids and ears slowly droop, and before he can even finish his sentence, he drifts back off to unconsciousness once again, head leaning into your hand.
Open-mouthed, pink-cheeked, you look down at the one-more unconscious yokai in your hands.Â
âWow,â you breathe out. And then you smile. âYouâre adorable.â
âââââââââââââ ââœ,Â
Over the next few days, the yokaiâHansolâconstantly drifts in and out of consciousness, his fever fluctuating in intensity the entire time.
Itâs difficult to pull coherent sentences out of him, and anything he says is a mixture of your name, his name, and also how pretty he thinks you are.
You chalk it up to his fever.
His demon-magic must have taken a serious blow from the extent of his injuries, as it takes him a lot longer than youâd like for him to finally shake off the infection. A whole excruciating week goes by, and you almost cry with relief when, as you get up to check his temperature in the middle of the night, you find that his fever has finally broken, and heâs able to breathe easily once more.
When the weak sun finally peeks out from over the horizon, you enter your spare room to check on Hansol. Sometime after his first bout of consciousness, youâd gathered enough energy to move him from your couch to the spare bedroom in your cottage. It had taken a lot of work, and a lot of magicâweakened by the stress of taking care of a dying fox demon and trying to fend off any curious and judgy villagers, it takes a lot of energy for you to do anything strenuous latelyâbut you managed. And it certainly seemed to help, as he slept a lot better in an actual bed.
Humming absentmindedly to yourself, you make your way over to the guest room, fingers dancing and causing golden threads of magic to tidy up the state of your house as you go along.Â
To your surprise, the yokai is wide awake when you enter the room, and he startles when you noisily open the door and step inside. The moment you make eye contact with Hansol, you freeze, the song dying off your lips at the same time as your magic drops a partially-fluffed up cushion in the living room.
âUm.â You blink, hanging off the door handle, staring at the yokai picking his bandages in bed in the middle of your guest room. âGood morning?â
Hansol doesnât respond, continuing to stare at you, wide-eyed.
You cough, feeling terribly awkward, attempting to adjust your stance and take your hand off the doorknob in the most natural way possible. âHello. Iâm, uh, Y/N. How are you feeling?â
Thereâs another beat. Then Hansol finally opens his mouth, only to completely ignore your question to say, âYouâre the one who smells like chrysanthemums.â
âIâ Sorry, what?â You blink, taken aback by the abrupt and unrelated question, before nodding. âOh, yeah. I guess you remember the chrysanthemum tea I made you?â You smile slightly. âI canât believe you remember that. That was when you were the most unwell.â
âOh.â Hansolâs ears twitch, and he continues to look at you with his golden eyes, somewhere between bewildered and amazed. (Amazed by what, you arenât entirely sure.) âI do remember, though. I remember you.â
You blink rapidly, trying to push down the blush that threatens to rise up your face. Having a handsome yokai stare at you with such focus, saying that he remembers you even when he was deep in the throes of a fever is such a heart-fluttering thing to experience early in the morning. You arenât nearly awake enough for this conversation. If you arenât careful, you could accidentally fall in love right then and there.
âThatâs nice,â you croak, and then shake yourself. You have a job to do. Hansolâs a patient under your care, and you need to check his condition. âUm. Sorry. But, uh, I do have to check if you can remember anything else,â you say, slipping into healer mode as you step further into the room, walking towards the bed. âDo you remember your name?â
Hansol nods, intently following your movements as you draw closer. âMy name is Hansol,â he says.
You smile, relieved by the coherency of his answer. The fact that the yokai remembers his own name is a very good sign. âYes, you are. Do you remember how you got here?â
âYes,â Hansol says obediently. âI was in a river. Trapped in the ice. And you⊠saved me.â
That makes you smile a little wider. âI took care of your wounds, yes! Itâs really good youâre finally awake and able to answer questions, âcause itâs a sure sign thereâs no lasting internal damage. I do have to check your bandages, though, so⊠may I?â
You make a gesture towards Hansolâs bandaged arms, and the yokai obliges, raising his arms to let you see.Â
You take Hansolâs hand in your own, preparing to lift his arm up higherâbut the moment your palms brush, you gasp, fingers tightening around the yokaiâs at the sudden sensation. Hansol, too, lets out a small noise of surprise, looking up at you.
The yokaiâs hands are firm, strong, and perfectly healthy, but they also thrum with magic. You can feel every spark and fizzle of the magic as it dances under his skin, spinning and zipping back and forth like a cloud of hyperactive fireflies. Like the magic can talk, and when it noticed the magic that lives inside you, it seems to yip with recognition, spinning itself around in excitement in the yokaiâs hands.
âItâs so strong,â you say, amazed. âI didnât realise magic could be this powerful.â
Hansolâs also staring up at you, similarly in awe. âYouâre magic too?â he asks, looking like heâs never fathomed such a thing is possible. âYouâre like me?â
You laugh slightly, made a little giddy by the feeling of how alive the magic is under Hansolâs skin. âNot exactly,â you say, releasing Hansolâs hand to finally reach for the bandages, feeling around to see whether his skin is still tender underneath. âI donât have the ears or the tail, do I?â
Hansolâs ears flick. Youâre decidedly focused solely on the yokaiâs bandages, but you can feel Hansol looking at you intently as you work.Â
âBut youâre very pretty,â Hansol says. âAre you sure?â
Fuck. Hansol has to stop saying things like that, because theyâre very bad for your poor heart. Very bad.
âIâm sure,â you say with a smile, straightening up once again. âI think all your wounds are healing nicely. Now your magicâs come back to its full strength, itâll help you heal the rest of the way in no time.â
You canât help but reach for Hansolâs hand again, once more feeling pleasantly surprised by the light zap of magic when your hands touch. Now you can feel the thrum of it under Hansolâs skin, itâs easy to realise how unwell the yokai was before, when his hands had been deathly cold with no fizz of magic in them at all. Youâre just endlessly relieved that you can feel that fizz once again.
Hansol looks down at your intertwined hands, and then up at you, a smile lifting up the corners of his lips. âThank you,â he says, so very sincere that it melts your heart. âThank you for looking after me.â
You canât help but smile back, squeezing Hansolâs hand once. âOf course. Itâs my pleasure. Really.â
Hansol smiles even wider, ears twitching pleasedly, and you once again have to try and valiantly fight away your blush. Fuck. This yokai really needs to stop making you blush so easily, and fast, else youâre going to start having problems.
âââââââââââââ ââœ,Â
It turns out, the blushing thing ends up being the least of your problems, because later that day, Hansol tries to leave.
Sometime after bringing Hansol a breakfast of soup and chrysanthemum tea (since he really seemed to like the tea), youâre drying away the breakfast dishes when a blast of cold air slices through the cottage, and you look over to see Hansol holding open the front door, looking like heâs about to step out.
âHâwait! Hansol, what are you doing?â
The yokai looks over at you, still holding the front door, confused. The bottom half of his tail is still bandaged, making it difficult for him to move it around, but it still sways from side to side unsurely as he blinks at you.
âIâm leaving,â Hansol says, like itâs obvious. âYou took care of me. And Iâm now better. So Iâm going to go.â
You gape, jaw almost dropping to the floor at the most ridiculous thing youâve ever heard.
âLike hell you are,â you say, marching over to the front door and firmly shutting it with your still-soapy hands, and then ushering Hansol back to the guest room and into bed. âYou are very far from being better, Hansol. Your tail is still all bandaged up! Iâm not letting you leave until youâre back to full health, so donât you dare think for a second that you get to go before then.â
Hansol makes a noise of confusion as you fussily tuck him back into bed, fluffing up the pillows behind his head and arranging the covers around him. âWhat? Why would you let me stay?â
âWhy wouldnât I let you stay?â you counter, patting down the duvet and absentmindedly brushing away the strands of hair that fall in his eyes. âI want to take care of you. I want you to get better. I canât exactly do that if you go off into the woods all by yourself and get up to heaven knows what, can I?â
Perched on the edge of the bed, you smile and pat his head.Â
âIâm not letting you out of my sight for a long while yet, mister,â you say, the faux-scolding adding a light playfulness to your tone. âYouâre going to stay with me and get better until I say so.â
Hansol looks up at you, tilts his head, and scrunches his nose just slightly as he smiles, shy. âSo youâll let me stay as long as I like?â
âObviously,â you say, smiling back. âHowever long it takes you to heal, and then some, if you want. Of course, unless you have somewhere else to go.â
The yokai hesitates, ears flicking unsurely. âNot really,â he admits, lowering his gaze. âIâve never actually had anywhere real to stay.â He looks back up at you again, golden eyes glinting hopefully. âSo if itâs okayâŠâ
âOh, of course you can stay here,â you rush to reassure him. And then you pause, deflating a little. âAlthoughâŠThis is a human village, so they donât really like⊠your kind. It might make life a bit difficult, but since youâre with me, they shouldnât bother you too much. Though I understand if that makes you hesitant to stay.â
Hansol shakes his head, smiling slightly. âThatâs okay. I like it here, so I donât mind staying with just you.âÂ
âIâm glad,â you say sincerely. âSeriously, you can stay here for however long you want.â
Hansol ducks his head shyly. âThank you. Genuinely, thank you.â
You awkwardly pat his hand where it lays on the covers, a little embarrassed in the face of his obvious gratitude, and instruct him to rest up before exiting the room. Youâre glad that the brief misunderstanding had been cleared up, because you donât want Hansol to feel anything less than welcomed. Being a yokai, he wonât have received similar acts of kindness in the wild, and as a magical being yourself, you know how that can feel. No one deserves to feel unwanted, least of all an injured yokai whoâd obviously been hurt intentionally before you found him.
Unfortunately, though, the trials of Hansolâs first weeks of consciousness do not end there. Some days later, at some point during the afternoon, Seungcheol comes knocking on your door.
You hadnât intended on inviting Seungcheol in. But afternoons are always a miserable time during winter, when the sky darkens far too early for anyoneâs liking, and itâs difficult to find oneâs way through the cold, barely-lit paths. Thatâs why you often get people coming to your door during the late afternoon, lost or confused or panicked because theyâve lost their way, and your cottage, shimmering with gold magic and warm lights is the only beacon they recognise.
So thatâs the only reason why, when Seungcheol turns up, you accidentally open the door for him. Not that you have anything against the village leader, butâHansolâs only been awake for a week at this point, and you donât have the mental capacity to deal with a talk about getting rid of him.
Unfortunately, when Seungcheol already has one foot in a door, he will not go. Literally.
âGet your foot out of my door,â you say exasperatedly, struggling to push the door shut as Seungcheol pushes back. His foot is still wedged in the doorway.
âLet me in,â Seungcheol says.Â
âNo. Youâre gonna tell me to hurt the yokai again.â
âIâm going to tell you to get him out of here.â
âNo.â
âYes.â
âNo.â
âYes,â Seungcheol says, finally giving up on the little game and pushing his way through the door like itâs no difficulty at all, making you let out an indignant hey!. âWe need to talk about this, Y/N. You cannot harbour a demon in our village without discussing this with anyone. He needs to go.â
âHeâs hurt,â you say. âHe canât go anywhere! And he wonât hurt anyone, I promise.â
âYou canât know that.â Seungcheol furrows his brow, his tone grave. âHeâs a demon, Y/N. You donât know what heâs capable of. You canât keep him here.â
âYes I can,â you insist, âbecause heâs a fucking real-life being with feelings, not this scary, evil harbinger of doom that youâre making him out to be, and I know this, because heâs been here with me, in my own home, and heâs quite possibly the nicest person Iâve ever met.â
Over the last several days, Hansol has been healing rapidly, so much so that most of his bandages have been removed and he practically glows with magic every time you see him. Itâs incredibly relieving to see, and itâs also allowed you to get to know him better: sometimes unintentionally, as a natural side effect of living with him now, but also, sometimes quite on purpose. Because heâs pretty, and heâs interesting, and you want to know who he is.
Turns out, one of the key things about Hansol is heâs the most adorable being youâve ever met.
Heâs adorable, in an awkward sort of way, from the way he hovers hesitantly in doorways to the way his tail always fluffs up with contentment when he feels the tendrils of your magic brush across the room.
Unlike yokai, who simply have ancient magic embedded in them from birth, you are born of magic and made entirely of magic, so the stuff practically spills out of you wherever you go. The magic canât only be felt from under your skin, but extends out and away from your being. Youâre not used to having guests in the cottage, so you werenât aware of the extent of how much you let your magic run free when in the safety of your home, until you noticed how Hansol reacted. He always blinks in surprise, lifting his hand palm-up, fingers curling inwards, as if your magic is some elusive silk strand that constantly evades his grasp. Itâs as if he can truly feel it, and he always seems to like it.
âCan you actually feel my magic?â you ask one day, and he looks up from his hand, surprised. His tail is all fluffy and big, lazily waving from side to side and creating static against the decorative pillows on your couch. Youâre sitting on an armchair next to him, smiling at him amusedly from over the book of hexes youâre reading. He doesnât even seem to notice what his tail is doing, too occupied with the invisible tendrils between his fingers.
âYeah,â Hansol says after a moment, closing his hand and resting them both back in his lap, a little awkward. âIt feels warm. Nice.â
âReally?âÂ
You canât help but smile at that, oddly flattered. To you, your magic is just⊠yours. It doesnât feel like anything in particular, nothing more than a familiar tingle in your hands and a weight against your skin. Though you like describing it as gold, in reality, your magic doesnât have any colour or any real tangibility to it apart from a fleeting pressure. The idea of it being âgoldâ is just how you feel about it. It never occurred to you that others could feel it, let alone feel differently about itâliving amongst humans, your magic has always subconsciously curled tighter around your arms when you interact with the villagers, not wanting to weird them out with your abnormality or make them feel intimidated by you.
Hansol nods, tail swishing once more. The static has caused all his white fur to stand on end, making him look even more fluffy and adorable. âYeah,â he says again. âItâs so much calmer than the way my magic feels. Itâs really cool.â
Heâs looking at you earnestly, as if expecting you to totally agree that your magic is âcalmerâ than his. And even though youâve only felt his magic twice before, you nod along in agreement anyway, and Hansol nods back, satisfied with your assent. Then he lowers his gaze back to his lap, opens his hand again, and goes back to playing with your magic.
An endeared laugh bubbles up into your throat, and you smile at the top of Hansolâs head before turning back to your book. Goodness, Hansol is so ridiculously cute.
That interaction only happened some days ago, and whenever Hansol smiles at you or stiltedly asks if he can help you around the house, the surge of affection comes back even harder. So you cannot stand Seungcheol standing here, right now, frowning at you like youâre being unreasonable in your decision to treat Hansol like a normal being.
Seungcheol continues to frown, and you simply stare defiantly back, arms crossed. You donât let him walk further into the cottage, and a stare-off commences there in the front hallway, neither of you willing to back down.
That is, until thereâs a loud crash from further inside the house, and both of you flinch in alarm.
âWhat was that?â Seungcheol asks, and you look back to where the sound had come from. Connected to the living room, behind a door disguised as an unassuming bookshelf is your own personal library, filled with all the tomes and books on magic and alchemy youâve collected over the centuries. Thatâs where the soundâs originated from, which is definitely a cause for concern, but you donât say so, lest Seungcheol uses this to fuel his argument against Hansol.
âProbably nothing,â you say, though you still glance over in the direction of the library. âYou know my cottage. Everythingâs old and falling apart.â
Seungcheol looks at you suspiciously. âThatâs a lie. You always keep everything in perfect condition.â He begins to move past you. âI bet itâs that demon, isnât it?â
âNo, Iââ You try to stop Seungcheol from investigating, but itâs a futile effort. âCheol, come on, you shouldnât go see him, heâs still unwell and you could end up distressing himââ
Hurriedly, you trot after Seungcheol through the bookshelf door and into the library, only to end up slamming face-first into his back when he stops abruptly, stunned at the sight before him.
Youâre quite proud of your library. Itâs an open secret that the bookshelf in your living room leads to it, which is cool all by itself, but your library is also made of magic. What appears as a normal, small study behind the bookshelf turns into a large and sprawling library with high ceilings and mahogany shelves and rows upon rows of books when you step inside.Â
Youâd allowed Hansol access to the library when heâd asked what was behind the bookshelf, and as far as you know, heâs been peacefully situated there the entire day. But, as you peer over Seungcheolâs shoulder to see why heâs suddenly stopped, you realise you canât see the yokai at all.
In the middle of the floor, thereâs a large⊠fort of books. A book fort. With four walls built of books piled on top of each other, complete with battlements made of upright books and towers with open books as turrets, itâs actually quite amazing to see. The only drawback is how some of the walls are falling down, books tumbling from where theyâre piled up.Â
Also the large spread of ice coming from under the fort, thatâs very slowly continuing to pool further and further outwards.
Seungcheol blinks. âUh⊠Y/N⊠you wouldnât happen to be doing this, would you?â
You shake your head. âWeather magic is my weak point.â
Suddenly, two white ears and a head pop up from behind one of the crumbling walls, and Hansolâs eyes widen when he realises youâre here with a guest.
âOh!â He ducks his head down, and then straightens once more so he can fully see over the walls of the fort. âHello. I was just building a castle. One of the walls fell down, âcause I sneezed, but I can fix it.â
The tip of his nose is slightly dusted with glittering frost, but he doesnât even seem to notice that or the ice thatâs creeping across the wooden floor. His eyes are shining as he looks at you, infinitely more relaxed than when youâd first seen him, and he inclines his head respectfully in Seungcheolâs direction, looking as humble and polite as possible even when half his face is covered by his book fort.Â
âHello to you too. Itâs nice to meet you.â
Youâre not sure what Seungcheol is most flabbergasted by: Hansolâs gentle manners, or the book fort heâs quite amiably making in your very respectable-looking, very grandiose library, or the circle of ice thatâs very clearly coming from the yokai. Hansol is very close to giving the village leader a heart attack any time soon, it seems.
âIâ This isâ Youâre using Y/Nâs books to do this?â Seungcheol eventually manages to ask, looking both confused and horrified. âShe let you?â
Hansolâs ears droop just slightly, but thereâs no obvious change to his expression. âWell⊠no. But none of the books are damaged, and Iâm going to put them back once Iâm done with them.â
âItâs fine,â you interject. âI could probably fix a few ripped pages. You can do what you like.â
You couldnât, probably, fix a few ripped pages, because each book is nearly as old as you. But youâre not going to say that, because you donât want the confusion on Seungcheolâs face to turn into grim disapproval, and you also donât want Hansol to feel guilty for what heâs doing.
âAlthough,â you say, looking down pointedly at the floor, âdo you think you could stop the ice?â
Hansol peers over the wall, eyes widening when he realises what youâre talking about. âOh, sorry. It just happened when I sneezed, I think. Everything is still going haywire⊠I think Iâm still sick.â
The movement of the ice slows to a halt, until only a spattering of frost manages to creep over to where you and Seungcheol are standing. It covers the whole expanse of the floor, now, and thereâs not a single patch of the warm brown thatâs not frosted over, but itâs okay. That is definitely something you can fix.
Ignoring Seungcheol, whoâs still standing there like he canât believe heâs looking at a walking, talking yokai, you move forward and make your slippery way over to the fort. Hansol moves away a column of books, allowing him to step out of the fort and meet you.
âIs this one of the humans?â Hansol asks in a low voice before you even say anything. The sweetness in his face has disappeared, replaced with an icy look of anxiety. âHeâs one of the mortals who donât like me, isnât he?â
You try not to wince. âYes. Heâs Seungcheol, the village leader here. He⊠wants me to get you out of here.â
Hansol regards you for a moment. âYou make it sound a lot nicer than what he actually means,â he says. âHe wants me killed, doesnât he? At the very least, badly injured and banished from here.â
âWell⊠no,â you try to say, but yes, thatâs actually exactly what Seungcheol wants. âHe doesnât want you badly injured. Heâs just⊠scared. Of your kind.â
âHm.â Hansol nods, expressionless. âSame thing, really. He wants me out.â
âOkay, Y/N, stop whispering with the⊠him,â Seungcheol says, and you look up to see the village leader making his slow way across the ice towards you. âWe need to talk. Discuss what youâre going to do, because you are going to do it, for the safety of our village.â
You frown, frustrated. âHansolâs not a threat to our safety,â you argue. Seungcheol continues to slide gingerly across the ice, and he sighs and shakes his head as you carry on. âHe doesnât have anything against humans. And if he did, heâd have been dead long before we found him at the river, becauseâHansol. Tell him why you ended up there.â
Hansol hesitates, looking at you unsurely. The other day, you finally managed to ask him why heâd been so injured and how heâd gotten trapped in the river. It was nothing unexpected, but it still had broken your heart, and hopefully, hopefully, itâs enough for Seungcheol to feel a little bit of empathy towards the yokai. Seungcheolâs a good man, a kind man, and all he needs to do is realise Hansolâs not evil, and heâll warm up to him faster than anyone could think possible.
âSome other yokai attacked me in the forest,â Hansol says slowly. âReally old yokai. Older than me. And⊠I got hurt.â
Seungcheol raises an eyebrow, looking at you like he doesnât get the point of this. You simply glare at him, silently telling him to continue listening.
âIt wasnât bad. Just a broken tail and some scratches,â Hansol says, and Seungcheol blinks, surprised at Hansolâs nonchalance. âBut then some demon hunters found me, and tried to get me to⊠attack them? I dunno. They were picking a fight, and when I didnât give it to them, they also hurt me.â
Almost imperceptibly, Seungcheolâs face softens a fraction, and you feel a flicker of hope. You know heâs weak in the face of innocently victimised stories like this.
âAnd so I was trying to run away from them, but everything is kind of in pain at that point. So I end up tripping down the mountain and into your river. My magic goes haywire when Iâm sick,â he adds, âso thatâs how I end up accidentally freezing ice all over me, too. It kind of responds to my feelings I guess? So when Iâm scared, it starts acting up even more, which is why the ice was so thick, too. Like it was trying to protect me, âcause it knew I was scared of someone hurting me.â
Itâs the most that Hansolâs said in one go, uninterrupted, before. Seungcheolâs face softens even further, and he straightens slowly. Heâs been standing still, a few metres away the entire time Hansolâs been talking, like heâs been frozen by his tale.
âAnd yeah,â Hansol finishes awkwardly, ears twitching. Heâs sensed the change in atmosphere, Seungcheolâs empathy tangible in the air. âThen I ended up here.â
âAfter several, painful weeks of healing,â you add, and Hansol nods jerkily.
âYeah.â
âOh,â Seungcheol says gently. âIâm so sorry. I didnât realise you were so scared. ButâŠâ And then he sighs, straightening up further, the softness melting away from his face. âThat doesnât mean youâre not a harm to the others, now youâre all better. Who knows how you might feel when youâre hungry, or angry. You said your magic acts up according to your feelings, and I canât have it acting up and hurting people here.â
Hansolâs face scrunches up in confusion. âWhen Iâm hungry?â
Itâs a bit absurd thatâs the thing heâs focusing on, so you feel indignation over Seungcheolâs whole speech on his behalf, crying out at the injustice.
âWhat do you mean?â you argue. âYouâre saying that like heâs some mindless beast.â
âHe may as well be, for all I know,â Seungcheol sighs. âHeâs not human, Y/N. We donât know how heâll act. And I need to think about the villagers. Theyâre⊠theyâre like family to me, you know that.â
âIâm not human either,â you point out angrily. âAnd yet Iâm also a part of this village. What are you saying, Cheol? Do you not consider me family?â
Seungcheolâs eyes widen, and he shakes his head instantly. âNo, you are. But still, youâre more human than he is. And⊠there are days where Iâm a bit wary of you too, Y/N.â At your outraged look, he rushes to continue, âBecause youâre so powerful! But youâve been with us for so many years, during the time of my father and his father, and his father before that, so I know youâre good. Youâve saved their lives. Saved everyoneâs lives. Hansol, on the other handâŠâ
You scoff, beyond furious. âThatâs absurd. Thereâs no such thing as being âgoodâ, just as thereâs no such thing as being âevilâ. We donât live in a fucking fairytale, Seungcheol.â
âI know. Maybe if youâd made different choices, Iâd think of you as less good, too, butâŠâ Seungcheol trails off, shrugging helplessly.
You stare at him, eyes so impossibly wide that itâs actually hurting your eye sockets, astounded by what heâs just said. Seungcheol? Thinking of you as evil? Just because of your power?Â
Beside you, Hansol stiffens just slightly, and during the course of the conversation, heâs somehow ended up so close to you that you can feel his magic simmering frantically under his skin. You donât know why heâs so worked up, and distantly, you wonder whether itâs on your behalf.
Seungcheol, noticing how irate youâre getting, takes a step forward to try and placate you. But he misjudges his balance on the ice surrounding the fort, leg twisting and his eyes widen and he yelps as he falls forward, on course to crashing face-first onto the hard, frozen ground. Your eyes widen, and you reach out to him, before thenâ
Thereâs a blur of white fur and Hansol catches him before he falls over and breaks all the bones in his knees, gripping him loosely around the torso, getting to Seungcheol before you can even blink. He gingerly helps him back into an upright position, and you wave a hand to whisk away the rest of the ice with streams of gold before another accident like that happens again. Hansolâs still holding Seungcheol when youâre finished, but by the shoulders now, looking the village leader right in the eye, golden irises soft and determined at the same time.
âI get you have a responsibility,â Hansol says. âI used to have one too, in the wild. To keep myself alive. But my rule, and this should be yours too, is to not hurt anything that doesnât hurt you first. I havenât hurt you. You shouldnât hurt me. And Y/Nââ He looks over at you, eyes flashing, before looking back at Seungcheol. âY/N has never hurt you. So donât act like youâre preparing for the day she one day will.â
Seungcheolâs face doesnât change, but youâve known him long enough to detect the minute shifts in the air around him as he digests Hansolâs words and, grudgingly, accepts it.
âI apologise,â he finally says, reluctant but sincere in the way only Seungcheol can be. âThat was cruel of me. To you and Y/N.â
He looks at you, and Hansolâs hands fall away, allowing him to walk towards you.
âSorry. But you have to understand where Iâm coming from,â Seungcheol says, almost pleading, and you realise that, whilst his stance on Hansolâs existence has wavered, his overall reluctance over him being here hasnât changed. âAt least donât let others see him, if heâs going to stay. Theyâll be terrified.â
âThat doesnât sound like Hansolâs problem,â you retort. âI know these villagers, Cheol, and theyâll warm up to him, they really will.â
You look over at Hansol as you say your next words.
âHansol is sweet and kind and really rather funny, and it breaks my heart to hide him from others because he might be seen as scary. Thatâs just peopleâs prejudice talking.â You smile. Hansolâs eyes are wide, lips parted slightly, and a fluttering warmth unfurls up inside you as you continue to smile at him. âBecause Iâve seen Hansol, and heâs the sweetest person Iâve ever met.â
Hansolâs entire face goes pink, and he looks away.
âMaybe so,â Seungcheol says heavily, and you look back at him. The warmth in your chest fades at his tone, dropping to the depths of your stomach. âBut I canât risk them being near him. Donât let him out.â
You sigh, disappointed. âNo. He can leave the house if he wants to, Seungcheol. Heâs not some kind of housepet you can impose rules on just like that and expect me to follow through with them.â
âY/Nââ
âGet out of my home,â you say, evenly. âGo. You can take your rules and go piss off out of my sight.â
âââââââââââââ ââœ,Â
You stew in your anger towards Seungcheol for several days.Â
He comes to your door every so often, either with a letter or a plea to talk through this, but you refuse to let him in and instead tell him to, not so kindly, fuck off.Â
Hansol looks at you with a mixture of affection and disappointment each time you do so. You donât really understand why he looks at you like thatâneither the affection nor disappointmentâbut he doesnât say anything and goes back to what he was doing soon after, either playing with your magic, or his own, or reading your books.
Having him around the house is quite like having a very adorable, very shy, fox. You mightâve gotten furious at Seungcheol for treating Hansol like a pet, but you donât mean it like having a pet fox: itâs just like having an inquisitive, cute being around the house who quite likes following you around as you go about your day.
Itâs cute. Heâs cute, with his swishing tail and his sudden bursts of frost when heâs fiddling with his fingers, and the way he stays perfectly still whenever you gain the courage to slowly inch closer to him on the sofa until youâre laying on his shoulder, at the perfect angle to peer down at the book in his hands so you can read it with him. Theyâre all your books, of course, so you know what theyâre all about, but itâs quite nice leaning against Hansol, feeling his warmth through the silk of his clothing, and the pleasant hum of his magic under your ear.
He never initiates physical contact, but he seems to like having you near. Heâs never protested when youâve held his hand or laid on his shoulder or (very, very gently) touched his ears, so.
Heâs quite like a fox, in that way. But heâs like a fox in other ways, too: namely, how it appears that heâs a bit nocturnal.
Sometimes, youâll awaken at three, four, five oâclock in the morning to someone clattering around in your house. It always turns out to be Hansol, trying to occupy himself without waking you up, but always failing to do so.
âHansol?â you murmur blearily, shuffling into the kitchen where the flurry of clatters had emitted from earlier. Itâs dark, and all the curtains are drawn; nevertheless, his dim silhouette looks distinctly guilty as he whirls around to face you, pots and pans in his hands. âWhatâre you doing?â
âSorry,â he says apologetically. âI read some potion in your book, and I wanted to try it out.â
âAt three in the morning?â
âFive,â Hansol corrects. You fix him with a look, and he winces, demon magic-enhanced night vision meaning he can see you perfectly clearly. âSorry. I didnât mean to wake you.â
You shake your head, rubbing the sleep out of your eyes. Itâs cold in the kitchen, and being exposed to the chilly night temperature is gradually waking you up. âItâs okay. I guess you donât sleep a lot, huh? Youâre wide awake, even though itâs so early in the morning.â
Hansol shrugs. âDunno. But I always just feel like I have so much energy. Like it doesnât have anywhere to go, and I canât sleep for too long before it tells me to do something.â
âI see.â You purse your lips thoughtfully, pondering why Hansolâs feeling like this and what could cause it. And then, a realisation strikes you and your eyes widen. âOh. Oh, I get it. I understand why youâre feeling that way.â
The yokai tilts his head. âReally?â
âYeah, and itâs totally okay,â you reassure, nodding your head. âTotally understandable, too. But donât worry, itâs easily fixed.â
You wave a hand and turn all the light fixtures on so you can see Hansol properly. The yokai literally does look like heâs vibrating with extra energy, holding your cooking utensils in his hands, ears perked upright and tail fluffed up to the max. Yeah, heâs definitely understimulated and frustrated with it right now, even if he doesnât realise thatâs what it is.
You smile. This is a good way to help him and piss off Seungcheol at the same time.
âCome on, Hansol. Letâs go outside.â
âââââââââââââ ââœ,Â
Not even an hour later, youâre making a trek up the mountains in your warmest clothes, lagging behind Hansol even with your magic-aided agility helping you up the hardest of the steps. The yokai is bounding on ahead, nimble and quick-footed even in the darkness of the early winter morning, and you can hear the light crunch of snow under his footsteps as he moves.
This is what Hansol needed. Some time outside, where he can finally breathe.
Some minutes later, as youâre sitting on a log on the path to catch your breath, Hansol comes back down the mountain to meet you, settling down by your side.
âItâs so quiet,â he whispers. The air around you is lit with a faint glow, courtesy of a visibility spell you conjured so you wouldnât fall flat on your face as you walked. It makes Hansolâs face look golden as he smiles at you, eyes shining. âEverything is so quiet out here. I can hear the animals.â
You smile back, finding joy in how relaxed he looks. âDoesnât that make it noisy?â
Hansol shakes his head, and then looks away from you, ears cocked to the side, listening. âNo. This is like a familiar buzz of noise, so familiar that it becomes silent.â He looks back at you again, smiling. âDown in the village, itâs so noisy because of all the people, but up here, itâs all gone.â
âIt feels good, doesnât it?â you say with a smile, and Hansol nods so quickly that you laugh, endeared. âIâm glad. You can go off for a bit, if you want, and Iâll wait for you here.â
Hansol beams. âOkay.â
And like that, heâs off, nothing more than a faint swish of a silver tail before he disappears once more.
He doesnât come back to you for some time, which gives you a chance to sit there and breathe in the cool air. Itâs so cold that it feels like inhaling clouds of peppermint, but itâs⊠relaxing.Â
You havenât had a chance to properly rest this winter. Winterâs a tricky time for you: the cold numbs your senses and makes your magic more sluggish. This year feels much colder than usual, and now the prolonged adrenaline that came with bringing Hansol back from the brink of death is fading, youâre beginning to anticipate feeling more worn out more often, the warm fizz in the tips of your fingers not as present as it ought to be.
Strangely, though. It hasnât happened yet. Maybe being around Hansol and his frost-related magic has built up your resistance to the cold.
Or, heâs just so lovely and comforting that you donât feel the effects of the winter.
Thatâs always a possibility. You look down at your hands, still glowing slightly with the visibility light youâve put on yourself. It hasnât faltered even once, a brilliant gold, and when you think of the colour of Hansolâs eyes, the light seems to glow even more.
You breathe in, and then exhale, kicking your feet out in front of you, looking down the dim mountain. Youâve been up here, thinking, for so long that the weak sunrise is beginning to peek its head above the horizon. Hansol still hasnât come back. Though, you find youâre not too worried about that: somehow, you know that he will come back to you, though you canât find ears nor tail of him while heâs gone.
Itâs incredible how much youâve come to trust and believe in Hansol, though heâs only been with you for several weeks. Heâs been so reserved, anxious and afraid at times, especially during the early days, when heâd been bandaged up and newly healing in an unfamiliar environment, but now itâs clear how earnest and gentle he is. Something in your chest tightens and then relaxes with happiness whenever you see him smile. Heâs just soâgenuine, and you really like that about him.
You like him. A lot. Heâs certainly an unexpected new part of your life, but now heâs here, and you canât imagine living without the silver-furred fox yokai by your side.
Thereâs a rustle in the evergreen bushes to your left, and, as if heâs here answering your summons, a familiar silver head of hair pops out, golden eyes shining when he sees you.Â
He blinks at you, ears flicking curiously, twigs in his hair like heâs been rolling around on the forest floor. His tail is out of sight, but you can imagine how itâs waving from side to side in contentment, the morning dew slowly turning into frozen crystals in his fur. You smile.
âHey,â you greet, the moment you see Hansolâs face. âAre you gonna come over?â
Instantly, he stands up, hops over the bush and makes his way to you. His footfalls are light, looking like heâs dancing over the rocks before he settles next to you once more, looking like he never left your side.
âHey,â he says. âThere are so many rabbits in these mountains, you know? Like Iâve never seen so many rabbits gathered in one place before, because normally they get killed by hunters or thereâs just not enough food in that area to sustain so many. Itâs actually insane how many rabbits you have up here.â When you just smile, his eyes widen, ears pricking upright. âOh, is it you? Do you do something to help them stay alive? With your magic and all that?â
Hansol then launches into a flurry of questions for you, so eager and animated that it surprises you a little, before melting your heart.
At the sight of sunrise, youâd taken down your visibility spell, but Hansol is still glowing, looking so alive with his cold-dusted cheeks, shining eyes, wind-fluffed hair and the frost dusting the tip of his nose, which must have accidentally happened when heâd gotten too excited and lost control of his magic.
Hansolâs positively lit up, now heâs surrounded by all this nature. He mustâve been so cooped up and nervous before, when he was just in your house, barely anything to do. Now heâs healed, and outside, and you can tell that being out of the house is where heâs meant to be.
âItâs not me,â you admit after Hansolâs finished conjuring up crazy theories. âWell, kind of. I messed around with the mountains about eighty years ago and did something by accident so we get a lot more winter flowers than normal. The rabbits love eating them, so we get a lot of them too.â
âOh,â Hansol says, amazed. âThat makes so much sense. I saw so many flowers. I thought that was a little bit weird, but I just chalked it up to Mother Nature having fun, or something.â
You laugh. âYeah. I guess Mother Nature was having fun,â you say, gesturing to yourself, and Hansol grins too. His eyes crinkle as he does so, the corners of his lips spread wide so his pearly whites are fully visible, the tips of his yokai fangs slightly on display. Even his big, bright smile is as cute as he is. Youâve never seen him smile this widely before. Itâs⊠pretty.
Even though heâs all warmed up to you now, even though itâs clear he trusts you, itâs obvious heâll always be most at peace out here in the big, wide world.
His gaze slides away from yours, looking at something behind you, and he gasps.
âWhat is it?â You turn to look back, trying to find what had caught his eye, but Hansol doesnât respond. He jumps up, diving into the bushes without a word.
A moment later he emerges, and in his hands isâŠ
âA daffodil?â you say, amazed. âWhatâs this doing here? Spring is very, very far off.â
âI guess itâs because of you,â Hansol says, handing you the flower.Â
You accept it gratefully, tracing the edges of its buttery yellow petals, such a warm, golden colour in your hands, in stark contrast to the cold white of the snow around you. Itâs so pretty, so pristine, and itâs amazing it managed to survive in the freezing winter temperatures. Must be due to your magic, like Hansol said.
âIt looks like you,â Hansol says suddenly, and you look at him in surprise.Â
âReally? How?â
âYou look like spring, to me,â he says. The frosted tip of his nose looks pink, as do his cheeks. A decidedly warmer, blushier pink than theyâd looked before. âAll warm and gold and pretty. Like the daffodil. And IâŠâ He pauses, and then seems to change his mind, shutting his mouth and blinking at you like he wasnât about to say anything else.
You smile, so endeared that youâre practically glowing with it. âThank you,â you say, touched, and look back down at the daffodil in your hands before raising your eyes to the definitely-blushing yokai once more. âThatâs so sweet.â
Hansol shrugs, a little bashful, before standing up abruptly.
âIâm gonna go find the rabbits again,â he says, and before you can even reply, heâs disappeared.
You laugh, breathing in the crisp air and then releasing it in a sigh, feeling warm all over despite the cold. You shake your head, fond. Hansol is just soâŠ
Thatâs it, you decide. Youâre not going to let Seungcheol dictate where Hansol can and canât be. Youâll let Hansol do whatever he wants, and encourage him to do whatever he wants.Â
Whatever makes him smile.
âââââââââââââ ââœ,Â
From that day on, you make it a point to take Hansol to the mountains as often as you can.
He loves itâheâll never say it in so many words, extremely shy when it comes to voicing his preferences for reasons you cannot discern, but itâs so obvious that those few hours he gets to spend with you, in the fresh air, away from all the people, are his favourite hours in the day.
Itâs another one of those mornings when youâre up in the mountains with him. You canât come here every day: youâd collapse from exhaustion if you had to wake up at four in the morning every day, but today, itâs a particularly clear-skied day, and you wanted to watch the sunrise with Hansol.
Heâs sitting shoulder to shoulder with you, looking silently down at the village below. Itâs still not sunrise yet, but the skyâs beginning to lighten gradually, and you can see some of the windows beginning to light up with orange lights, everyone slowly waking. Hansol hasnât said a word for a while, so you havenât either, content to just look down at everything in silence.
The entire experience is rather humbling. From the mountain, the village looks so small, like itâs merely a miniscule dot in existence, something that could be missed in a single blink. Like each mortal is worth next to nothing. Like each could be destroyed in a second.
Thatâs what a lesser immortal would think, anyway. For you, however, rather than how fragile life is, being this high up makes you marvel at the intricacy of it. Every person, every soul, despite being so small, is filled to the brim with so many unique experiences that no one else can ever live through as that person did. They live, and they die, but almost magnificently so. Like a one-of-a-kind snowflake that melts as soon as it lies in your hands.
You look at Hansol next to you. His eyelashes flutter thoughtfully as he looks down at the village, delicate against his pale skin.Â
Every life should be cherished, you think. Because if even the fleetings lives of humans are that complex, then what of the immortal creatures, who live forever? No one should tell them to hide themselves away.
âI can hear you cursing Seungcheol in your head,â Hansol says abruptly, pulling you out of your thoughts. Heâs staring at you, now, no longer focused on the village, and he tilts his head bemusedly when you meet his gaze. âYouâre still mad at him, arenât you?â
You blink, and then smile. You were kind of cursing out Cheol in your head, you admit, and itâs kind of funny that Hansol picked up on it.
âI am,â you sigh, looking down. âWell, now Iâm more annoyed, really. I know I should be glad that heâs not going to extremes, like some other people in the world, butâŠâ
Hansol nods slowly. âI get where heâs coming from, though,â he admits, and you look up. âWhat? Seungcheol cares for his village. These people⊠they all mean a lot to him, and he doesnât know me, so I guess itâs natural for him to be cautious.â
You roll your eyes. âThatâs no excuse. These people all mean a lot to me, too. I watched them all grow up! And Cheol should know I wouldnât suggest anything that puts them in danger.â You frown. âItâs frustrating. It feels like he doesnât trust my judgement, even though heâs literally known me his entire life.â
The yokai hums, and reaches over to pat your hand placatingly where it rests in your lap.
âAlso, it pisses me off that heâs saying all this without ever making an effort to get to know you, and see if his judgement is right,â you say, looking at Hansol, catching his hand in your own when he begins to move away. âYouâre justâyouâre just so lovely, and how dare Seungcheol try to hide you away, like youâre something taboo, or something to be ashamed of?â
Hansolâs eyes widen, and he blinks rapidly, before averting his gaze to your intertwined hands. âOh,â he says, after a moment, clearly embarrassed by your sincere compliments. âThatâs⊠nice.â
You laugh, fond, squeezing his hand comfortingly. âIâm always nice,â you tease. âIâm the nicest person in the entire world, actually.â
To your surprise, Hansol doesnât smile back at your joke, and simply ducks his head shyly. âYou are.âÂ
And then he keeps lowering himself down until heâs laying in your lap, the tips of his flickering slightly at the contact as he adjusts himself until he's practically lying down in the log, head in your lap. You stiffen in surprise, and Hansol slowly shifts so he can blink up at you with innocent, gold eyes.Â
âCan I lie here?â he asks, even though he's clearly very much lying there already, and you smile, relaxing.Â
âYeah, I guess,â you say, and Hansol smiles, closing his eyes as your hand goes to his hair and begins to gently run through the strands with the tips of your fingers.Â
You stay like that for some time, running your fingers through Hansolâs hair and over the soft fur of his ears. Abruptly, he playfully flicks his ears as you trace a finger through the fur at the base of them, making you yelp in surprise, and he smiles, pleased at having made you jump. You lightly tug at a few strands of hair, teasing, and he smiles wider, eyes still shut, the slight points of his canines visible.
Too distracted with Hansolâs face, you end up completely missing the full sunrise, and eventually it becomes late enough in the morning that the village fully awakens, bustling with noise as people go about their day. But curiously, you canât hear a single thing. Itâs like your world has narrowed down to you, your hands, and the yokai laid comfortably in your lap.
He really is very pretty. You notice the small spattering of snowflake-like freckles on his cheeks, and smile. Heâs so pretty that it isnât even fair.
You trace a thumb over his cheekbones, opening your mouth to comment on them before Hansolâs eyes snap open, and his ears suddenly tilt towards something down the mountain, listening. Your hand freezes, and you let him turn his head, alert.
âWhatâs wrong?â
Then, you hear it: the crunching of twigs underfoot, and the telltale huffing and puffing of a human making their way up the mountain. Your hand falls, and you get ready to stand up beforeâ
âY/N?â
Soonyoung, clad in winter furs and holding a woven basket in his hands, blinks at you in confusion, and then he glances to the yokai in your lap, and shakes his head, his expression becoming even more mystified than before.
âWhat are you doing here?â
âWhat are you doing here?â you ask back, equally confused as Soonyoung. âYou literally hate climbing the mountains. What are you doing?â
Soonyoung looks at you oddly, lifting up the empty basket. âIâm here to collect wildflowers for you,â he says. âI asked you the other day if you could make some of that non-dangerous magic fire you did last year. You said you needed wildflowers harvested at sunrise to make that potion, so Iâm here to get those.â
âOh. Did you really ask me that?â
âYes,â Soonyoung says. âYou said youâd make them for me. And also complained for like five minutes because I tried to pay you, and you wanted to refuse âcause you said I was paying you too much. As if thereâs such a thing as being paid too much money.â He rolls his eyes for emphasis, and you laugh.
The conversation comes back to you now, and you shrug sheepishly. âYeah. Sorry. I forgot about that.â
Soonyoung makes a disgruntled sound, feigning annoyance before his eyes crinkle as he smiles. âDonât worry about it, boo. Just as long as you remember to make the potion, itâs all fine. The childrenâll love it for the bonfire tonight.â
Your eyes widen. âYou want me to make it for tonight? Thereâs a bonfire tonight?â
âYes,â Soonyoung says. âI specifically told you when I asked, as well. Goodness, youâre forgetting everything today, huh?â Then he gestures casually to Hansol, whoâs still lying in your lap, looking unsurely at the villager. âDonât tell me, you also forgot you have the injured demon in your lap, too?â
He points to Hansol so naturally, so calmly that you look down in surprise, as if you really had forgotten the yokai was there. Soonyoung laughs, shaking his head as he bends down near a bush, poking through the dirt to see if there are any flowers. He turns his back on you and Hansol, craning down towards the ground to see better as he continues to talk.
âCheol told me all about the demon and how he disapproves of you keeping him alive,â Soonyoung says. He manages to find a few wildflowers, and lets out an aha! of pride, putting them away in his basket. âNot gonna lie, I agreed with him a bit. But then I come up here and find him in your lap as you pet him like a cat, and now Iâm thinking, maybe not so much.â
Soonyoung turns back to face you once again, and somehow, during those thirty seconds, heâs managed to get dirt all over his nose.
âPlus, you seem to like him,â he carries on. âSo he canât be bad, can you? Because youâd kick his ass if he was.â
You quirk a grin at that, proud. Then you nod down at Hansol. âHe has a name, though, you know. And he can hear you.â
Soonyoungâs eyes widen in realisation, and he stands up quickly, brushing down his clothes. âOh, sorry, youâre right. Sorry. Hi, Iâm Soonyoung, one of the villagers who live here. Itâs nice to meet you.â
He extends a gloved hand towards Hansol, and Hansol looks at the hand for a long moment. Then he slowly sits upright again, and grasps Soonyoungâs hand in a firm handshake, the corners of his mouth relaxing slightly.
âHansol,â he says. âItâs nice to meet you.â
And then he must do something, because Soonyoung lets out a small yip in surprise, withdrawing his hand quickly as Hansol observes him amusedly, eyes glinting.Â
âDid youâŠâ Soonyoung starts, wide-eyed. âDid you just. Give me an electric shock? On purpose?â
Hansol cracks the slightest smile, evidently pleased with Soonyoungâs reaction. Heâs in a playful mood today, you muse, smiling as Soonyoung stutters, clearly not sure what to do when a yokai plays a prank on him like this. It makes you smile too, amused.
âYou have to show me how to do that,â Soonyoung eventually says, going from surprised to confused to full of amazement. âCan you show me? Is that something which can be taught?â
That makes Hansol smile properly, lips curving upwards. âYouâre funny.â
âIâm being serious!â Soonyoung says, but something about Hansolâs smile must make him smile too, because eventually he laughs, shaking his head. âGoodness, you magic people need to stop messing with me. One day, Iâll accidentally set myself on fire, and itâll be your fault.â
âYouâd do that anyway,â you tease, and Soonyoung rolls his eyes. âAnyway, I have to get going, I think. Jeonghanâs coming over for a poultice for his back pain, and I need to get to my cottage before he does.â
âOkay,â Soonyoung says. âThis is a hell of a way up the mountain, by the way. I might go down with you as well, and see if Iâve missed any flowers.â
âCool.â This is definitely not that far up the mountain, and even though Soonyoung hates climbing, it shouldnât have taken him more than twenty minutes to reach where you are. Itâs clear he wants to walk with you for a moment to tell you something, so you look at Hansol, and offer him the chance to stay up in the mountains by himself for a bit.
He agrees, so you and Soonyoung begin your slow descent.
âWhat do you want?â you ask, when youâre out of Hansolâs hearing range.
Soonyoung just smiles, shaking his head. âNothing bad,â he says. âI meant it when I said Hansol seems like a cool guy. I justâŠâ He pauses, thinks over his words, and then leans in closer. âBring him to the bonfire tonight.â
You reel back. âWhat? Are you crazy?â
âHey, if youâre worried about him getting hurt, you shouldnât be,â Soonyoung says placatingly. âHansolâs a demon. He can hold his own. Plus, the people arenât as against yokai as you might think. Cheolâs just overly cautious, and the elderly might have traditional views about it, but it wonât be hard to make them like him. Heâs cute.â
You raise an eyebrow.
âHe is!â Soonyoung argues. âI saw him in your lap, Y/N. Heâs adorable. And very⊠docile? Like, heâs so quiet. But also very silly. The kids would love him, you know. So would everyone else.â
âEven Seungcheol?â
Soonyoung thinks about it for a second. The cold air has made his cheeks all ruddy red, and he looks like a very earnest, very red-cheeked schoolboy as he nods firmly. âYes. Even Seungcheol.â
You hum, still incredibly sceptical. âWell. Iâll think about it. Weâll have to see.â
âââââââââââââ ââœ,Â
Unfortunately, even though you were slightly swayed by Soonyoungâs words and his instant kindness and all-round chillness in Hansolâs presence, you ultimately end up not bringing Hansol to the bonfire night. Itâs not your decision, though: itâs Hansolâs.
âAre you worried about the humans?â you ask, when Hansol tells you that, respectfully, he doesnât want to go. âYou donât have to worry about that. I could blast them all to pieces for insulting you, if that makes you feel better.â
Hansol smiles a little, before shaking his head. âNo. Itâs actually just⊠Iâm not really a big fan of all the noise and stuff. And how hot bonfires are.â
âOh.â You soften, concerned. âHave you been⊠hurt by fire before?â
âHuh? Oh, no,â Hansol says. He shrugs. âI just donât like being too warm. Makes me uncomfortable.â
You raise an eyebrow, amused. Because even as he says this, heâs cuddling up into your side, head on your shoulder, his tail curled comfortably around him. âReally?â you say. âYou donât like being too warm?â
Hansolâs ears flick. âYeah. My magic originates from winter, as you might have noticed, soâŠâ
âOh, I hadnât realised,â you say teasingly, tapping the tip of his nose lightly. âI thought the white fur and random bursts of frost on your skin meant you were a summery fox.â
Hansol scrunches his nose, and you laugh. âYeah, yeah. Anyway, it does mean I donât like being all warm, so fires are a no-go for me. Especially bonfires, where there are many people. Thatâs way too much warmth for me, for sure.â
âI see,â you say, reaching a hand up to tuck some of his silver hair out of his face as he nestles closer into your side. âThatâs cool. But I am going to have to go, even if you arenât. Will you be okay if I leave you here by yourself in the evening?â
âYeah. Can you make me dinner before you go, though? Last time I tried, I almost destroyed your kitchen.â
âWhat? When was that?â
âOops. Did I not tell you?â
Anyway, the bonfire night ends up being a bit of a disappointment. Several of the villagers have cottoned on to the fact youâre housing the yokai, and express their concerns to you over the matter several times over the course of the night. You love these people, you really do, but hearing so many of them advise you to send him back off into the woods for your own safety really wears you down after a while.
âI think Y/N understands what youâre saying now, imo,â a gentle voice butts in, right when youâre in the middle of having a particularly exhausting conversation. This tricky older womanâs insisting you let the yokai go⊠only, sheâs using much more unkind words.
You were very, very close to losing your cool with herârespect the elders be damned because hell, youâre way older than she isâbefore sheâs interrupted mid-sentence by a villager appearing over his shoulder, and you smile in relief as you recognise him.
At the call of âauntieâ, she looks up and comes face-to-face with your saviour, Joshua, and all it takes is another gentle smile and some sweet words before he successfully convinces her to leave your side and rejoin her friends on the other side of the bonfire.
âDonât worry about it,â Joshua says when you thank him for his help. âYou know how they are. Once they latch on to you, itâs impossible to get them to leave without using some sort of witchcraft to pry them away.â
You laugh at that. âAnd yet, it seemed to be you who helped get them off me. Maybe youâre the real witchcraft user out of the two of us.â
Joshua laughs, light and melodious, magical fire reflecting in his eyes. He doesnât say anything to your joke, however, and nods into the distance behind you, down the darkened paths that lead to your cottage. âYou need to bring him out, though,â he says. âWhilst heâs still unknown, theyâll continue conjuring theories that become wilder by the day. They need to see the yokai so their suspicions can be wiped away once and for all.â
âWhâHansol?â You blink. âItâs dangerous, Shua. They might hurt him.â
âTheyâre hurting him now,â Joshua says. âTheyâre hurting you and hurting him by making stuff up. Just introduce him to them, okay? He canât become part of our village if he never meets our villagers.â
At your stunned look, Joshua smiles.Â
âWhat? I know you, Y/N. Youâre attached. You want him to stay. And honestlyâŠâ His smile turns a little more secretive, a little more knowing. âI think he wants to, too. The yokai will stay for you, but to truly bring him in, you have to bring him out to us.â
Joshua smiles again, the colours of his irises swirling together, before he pats you on the shoulder and gets up, leaving you there speechless.
He isnât⊠wrong. But hearing it like that sounds insane.
You shake your head. Hansol will have to meet everyone sooner or later, you suppose. You very much do not want to go ahead with Seungcheolâs idea to let him be hidden, like a secret, so of course, you need to bring him out into the open.
You shake your head again, mystified. Joshuaâs correct, but how does he know so much?
Honestly, you really do think heâs more of a witchcraft user out of the two of you. His incredible timing, his knowledge of all your thoughts, the fact heâd called Hansol a yokai rather than demonâŠ
Also. How old even is he, anyway?Â
Too confused and befuddled by all the thoughts in your head, you end up playing with the children and run through the fire all night instead. Itâs a lot safer than having to deal with all the grown-up stuff of thinking about things.
âââââââââââââ ââœ,Â
Both Soonyoungâs and Joshuaâs words linger in the back of your mind for days after that, and you contemplate how to get Hansol out of the house. Hansol had never really shown signs of wanting to be part of the village, which had made you reconsider this whole thing, wanting to brush away the villagerâs words, before you actually asked the yokai, andâ
Hansol shrugs. âYeah. Iâd like to get to know everyone. I want to be part of the village.â
âYou do?â
âYeah,â he says again, smiling at you. âThis village is your village, and I want to be with you.â
Oh. You smile back, touched. Hansol smiles wider, brightening at the eye contact, all sweet and lovely and really quite cute, before ducking his head and disappearing back through the shelves of your library once again.
So Hansol turns out to be not as against the idea as you thought, which makes you feel a lot better about thinking of how to get the villagers to trust him and how to get Seungcheol off your back for taking care of Hansol in the first place.
However, it ends up not being you who makes the first steps into getting him known. Oh, no.
Instead, Hansol does that all by himself.
It happens during the first snowfall of the year. Youâd woken up to the beautiful sight of the white crystals floating down and covering the entire village with a soft, muffled coat, and the equally beautiful sight of Hansol, who had already woken up, practically pressing his nose against the window to look at the snow in awe.
Heâd clearly wanted to go out and be in the snowâas a winter yokai, that made senseâbut youâd had some errands to run that day, so youâd told him he could stay only in the front yard of the cottage and go no further.
Hansol had smiled at you, an amused quirk of his lips that acted as all the reassurance you needed.
So heâs sitting in the snow in front of your cottage, legs out in front of him, the silk of his clothes getting damper the longer he sits on the cold ground, but he hardly notices, more focused with tracing a finger through the soft white that is steadily building up.
Snowfall is Hansolâs most favourite wintry thing. Itâs a perfect, wondrous phenomenon: the intersection of the perfect time and the perfect weather and the perfect temperature that makes the sky release soft handfuls of the white stuff down on Earth. Even nature falls silent when the snow falls. In Hansolâs opinion, thatâs proof enough that itâs something to be appreciated beyond belief.
His robes, his old robes, used to have silver snowflakes embroidered into them, intricate and sprawling patterns that he could run his fingers over and almost feel the cold gust of wind that accompanied the snow. Theyâre not on the robes heâs wearing nowâheâs wearing ones youâve given him, after his old ones were ruined by his own bloodâbut he traces his fingers gently over the sleeves, letting frost spread out from his fingers like the feathery patterns that used to adorn the cloth he wore.
He quickly grows bored of that, though, and turns to the real snow in front of him, ears flicking absentmindedly to get rid of the small pile-up gathering on his head. He absentmindedly gathers the stuff in his hands, patting it into shapes and then leaving them out on the lawn.Â
This carries on for some time, and eventually there is an army of misshapen snow clumps in your front yard, all frosted over with a touch of his magic, and he grins, satisfied. And then his ears twitch again, and he feels⊠eyes. Watching him.
Hansol turns around, and some houses away, peeking from over a well-trimmed, leafless hedge, he sees three children clad in fluffy winter clothes staring at him, curious.
He doesnât have much experience with human children. Or any children, for that matter. But heâs pretty sure that, when a yokai makes eye contact with them, theyâre not meant to light up with glee and come running over with absolutely no regard for the icy paths or the danger that said yokai could present.
Surprised, Hansol jumps up to his feet, reaching out hands to steady the little kids as they skid over the snow and come to a stop right in front of him, eyes shining, expectant. He doesnât know what theyâre expecting, and being so close to these mini humans is a very awkward experience for him. Heâs not sure what to do.
So he lifts a hand, and waves. âHello?â
The three children beam, and one of them, the girl, practically vibrates with happiness when he speaks.
âHello!â she chirps, and waves back. âIâm Yeowon! Whatâs your name?â
Hansol blinks, taken aback by her enthusiasm. âIâm Hansol.â
âHansol!â Yeowon keeps speaking in exclamation marks, and itâs honestly kind of amusing. âItâs nice to meet you! This is Junghoon, and this is Minjun!â she says, gesturing to the boys on either side of him, who also give Hansol equally enthusiastic waves.
âHello,â he says unsurely. How old are these kids? He doesnât know much about human years, but they look⊠very young. Where are their parents?
He doesnât get to voice his concerns before Yeowon starts speaking again, going a mile a minute and he can hardly get a word in edgeways.
âWe were watching you from Minjunâs house,â she says, and picks up one of the snow balls that Hansol was making, lifting it up so he can look at his own handiwork. âThese are so pretty! We wanted to come over and play with you, âcause weâve never seen you before, but you live with Miss Witch, right?â
Hansol opens his mouth, but itâs apparent that wasnât an actual question when Yeowon barrels on.
âSo you must be a good guy! So we wanted to come say hello and play.â
She blinks big, innocent eyes up at him, as do the two boys, evidently begging him to play with them, or something. He doesnât know what play entails, but⊠thereâs no harm in entertaining these fun-sized humans, right?
So Hansol nods, says they can play with him, and sits down in the snow again. And then, before he knows it, theyâre all shrieking and climbing over him and asking him to make figurines out of ice and snow and patting his hair in amazement and asking if his ears are actually real.
Children are very overwhelming, Hansol quickly learns. But he also kind of likes them: likes the way their eyes light up when he makes them the little ice characters they want, likes their fascinated smiles and the way they very gently touch his ears and accidentally get damp suede of their gloves in his mouth in their excitement. Theyâre bubbly, full of life, and so friendly with him that it honestly makes him so delighted that it surprises him.
âMake me one too! Make me one too!â
âYour ears look super fluffy! Can I touch your tail?â
âWhy are your eyes yellow?â
âCan you make me something out of magic too, Mister Fox?â
âMister Fox! Mister Fox!â
Hansol doesnât know how it happens, but he blinks and suddenly heâs surrounded by what seems to be every child in the village, clamouring around him and asking if he could play, Please, Mister Fox, wonât you?
Your front lawn is quickly becoming a gathering place for the little humans who had swarmed towards him so quickly that Hansolâs starting to think they were waiting in the background for his very opportunity, and he makes more ice figures and listens interestedly to their babbling as they conjure stories for the figurines on the spot. Theyâre all so very noisy, but Hansol smiles, brimming with a similar sort of energy as his magic fizzes and pops with glitters of snow and makes the children laugh.
Thereâs no other way to describe it. Heâs feeling happiness, pure and simple.
Unbeknownst to Hansol, thereâs one human whoâd been watching the entire scene right from the beginning. Coming down the path, on his way to visit the villageâs magic-user, Soonyoung had noticed Hansol sitting by himself and had prepared to go over, extend a hand and a friendly word before Yeowon, Junghoon and Minjun had run over.
As a result, Soonyoung retreated a little ways round the bend to watch from a distance, which is where he is now, smiling at the innocent joy of both the children and Hansol.
From the opposite end of the path, he spots you walking back to your cottage, and clocks the exact moment you realise whatâs happening in your front yard. Your eyes widen, and you stop in your tracks, before your eyes slowly lift further and you notice Soonyoung standing there too, smiling.
See? he seems to say with your eyes, meeting your gaze. They love him.Â
One of the children shrieks with laughter as she grabs Hansolâs tail and he playfully gasps in shock, scooping her up and lifting her into the air until sheâs giggling and burbling for him to put her down. At his feet, one child is patting snow into the hem of his robes, and another is playing with a fox-eared figurine that Hansol had made him.
It looks so natural, and you watch them for a moment before looking at Soonyoung again. Soonyoung smiles even wider. You have nothing to worry about.
You laugh, a little bit in disbelief, warmth spreading across your face as you smile back, looking fondly at the sight in your front yard. Finally, you really do believe that thatâs the truth.
âââââââââââââ ââœ,Â
âLetâs go out,â you say, and Hansol looks up from his book, tilting his head inquisitively.
âHm,â he says in reply. âAre you sure?â
Itâs been a few days since the first snowfall, but the wintry precipitation has not let up, and it continues to softly drift down from the sky even as you speak. The blanket of snow covering the earth has also blanketed your senses, and your magic is nothing more than a gentle hum beneath your skin. A month ago, this would have stressed you greatly, but with Hansol and his winter-attuned magic singing happily around the entire room, you feel nothing but peace.Â
Nodding in reassurance, you smile at Hansol. âVery sure. Letâs go out today.â
Hansol blinks, once, and then smiles back, closing the book and getting up from the couch. âOkay. Where are we going?â
You smile wider. âTo make you some friends.â
That was the plan, anyway. Ever since the first snow, when Hansol had been accosted by the children and ended up playing with them for a good part of the day, youâve had several villagers come to your door, either complaining about the yokai or wanting to know more about him. So, you figure, today you should get him out to the village square so he can finally meet everyone. Regardless of their opinion of him.Â
Because you have trust in Hansol. Now, you have confidence he can turn their opinion around.Â
Hansol, despite having all the appearances and mannerisms of an introvert, doesn't seem to mind leaving the house for so many days in a row, and eagerly agrees as you urge him to get dressed and head out to the village square. There's the daily market taking place, and most people will be there, so it'll be a good opportunity to introduce him.Â
But, like you said, that was the plan.Â
Unfortunately, you're whisked away by some of the villagers who need help with their sick relative, leaving Hansol stranded in the village square.Â
âYou don't have to stay,â you insist to him, as you're rushed off to deal with the medical emergency. âSeriously, Hansol, you can go home. Especially if anyone starts throwing insults, then just go, okay? I'll be with you as soon as I finish.â
Hansol watches you go, head tilted, slightly amused. It's kind of cute that you think he needs protecting. You know, since he's an ancient demon, and all. But before he can say as such, there's a small voice near his knee, and he looks down to see a small child, piping up in favour of him.Â
âDon't worry about Mister Fox!â the small boy chirps brightly. âWe will look after him!â
And as if out of nowhere (seriously, where do these kids come from?) several children come up to him and cling to his robes, waving at you as you leave the market square. Hansol waves too, mystified by the miniature support latching onto him, but also a bit touched by their loyalty. They're really sweet.Â
âSo what do you wanna do, Mister Fox?â the first little boy says, and Hansol recognises him as one of the first children to come up to him a few days ago. Minjun. âAre you hungry?â
Without even waiting for Hansol's answer, Minjun and the rest of the children start ushering him to the food stalls, fiercely advocating for their choice of what Mister Fox should eat first.Â
âWait,â Hansol says, interrupting the particularly fierce fight over having hotteok or bungeoppang first. âKids. Do you have any money?â
There's a short silence, and all the children look down, which is how he learns that they don't, and so they don't end up buying anything at all. Except, Yeowon, who joined the discussion partway through, manages to wheedle some of the stall-owners to give her free food with her big puppy eyes and innocent pout.
Itâs like a magic trick, Hansol has to give her that. And when she happily tells the vendors that sheâs sharing the food with Hansol, the villagers do nothing other than blink in surprise and then smile, polite and awkward, well. Thatâs also an incredible magic trick too.Â
They sit on the outskirts of the village market, pillowed by the mounds of snow all around them as they eat their steaming hot snacks. Theyâre delicious, and sticky, and very sweet, so itâs not too long before Hansol has several super-hyper, sticky-fingered children on his hands, who are all practically launching themselves into the snow with the bounding amounts of energy they have.
It becomes very noisy very fast, and Hansol starts panicking slightly, before he loudly suggests they ought to go and make some snowmen, and all the children whip their heads around to look at him, wide-eyed, and thenâ
âThatâs such a good idea!â
âYes! Letâs do that!â
âIâm gonna make the best snowman!â
âNo, me!â
âNo! Me!â
And then they go tumbling off into the snow, and Hansol slumps back down, relieved. He can still see them, and he can still sense them, too, so thereâs no worry in any of them getting lost. At least he can now have some peace and quiet.
Twisting his lips thoughtfully, he gathers handfuls of the white snow, turning it over. He turns it over again, and then begins patting and shaping it in his hands until he has something that resembles a little snow duck.
Itâs terribly misshapen, and the beak is a bit too long to be a duck, but itâs cute, and Hansolâs pleased. He swirls his fingers in the air, and uses some magic to add finishing touches, trying to rectify the wonkiness. It doesnât work, but he still thinks itâs cute. Youâd probably find it cute, too. Right?
Probably. Hansol hums to himself contemplatively. You like everything he does. Itâs very sweet, he thinks, that youâre always so receptive to him, and itâs even sweeter that you genuinely enjoy his company. You brighten like a blooming chrysanthemum, spring-like in your warmth whenever he says something to you, and it makes him feel all warm too. Ever since the first time he woke up on your couch, out of his mind with a fever, and heâd noticed your floral chrysanthemum tea scent and accidentally called you the prettiest person ever, youâve always been so gentle and kind and oh, Hansol likes you so much.
Youâre justâlovely. Youâre the loveliest being heâs ever met in his entire life, and thatâs saying something, because Hansolâs been alive for a really fucking long time.
âHello.â
Heâs startled out of his thoughts by a light, melodic voice coming from over his shoulder, and Hansol looks up in surprise to see a villager bent over him, warm brown eyes glinting and the corners of his lips curving upwards in a seemingly permanent smile.
âSorry, I didnât mean to make you jump. I just saw you, and thought Iâd say hi,â the villager says, smiling properly, extending a hand. âIâm Joshua. Youâre the yokai, right?â
Hansol manoeuvres his body around awkwardly and shakes Joshuaâs gloved hand. âIâm Hansol, and yeah, I am the yokai. How could you tell?â His ears flick pointedly as he talks, and Joshuaâs eyes immediately go to them before he smiles wider.
âYeah, I guess it was a silly question,â Joshua says, and his fur boots crunch in the snow as he climbs over a mound and crouches down next to Hansol. âBut I donât wanna seem impolite, you know?â
Hansol shrugs, but he understands. âYeah. I get it.â
Joshua smiles.
They say nothing for a moment, and Hansol lifts his head up briefly to check on the children. He can still see all of them, actually, dotted about the edges of the market as they build their snowmen. He watches them thoughtfully, and then down at the snow at his feet.
It only takes a moment for a snowman of his own to begin to form, aided by his magic as the snowballs roll themselves to become bigger and more round.
âThatâs really cool,â Joshua comments, and Hansol had almost forgotten he was there. Heâs so quiet, feather-silent, but when he catches Hansolâs eye and smiles, thereâs a twinkle to his presence that makes him wonder how he could have ever forgotten him. âIâve never seen anyone other than Y/N be able to do that.â
âHm?â Hansol looks at the snowman thatâs slowly being built. âOh, well, itâs nothing, really.â
Even as he says so, his tail fluffs up in pride at Joshuaâs words, and he begins adding more and more intricate frost details to the snowman. The feathery patterns wind through the body of his creation, like embroidery, and Joshua whistles, amazed.
âItâs very cool. Your magic is very cool.â
Hansol shrugs, bashful. âThank you. But really, itâs nothing.â As the snowman continues to construct itself, he leans over to Joshua as if confiding a secret. âIn the wild, there are yokai who can create literal monsters out of ice. In about five seconds flat. But I mostly just deal with frost and snow, so itâs a lot more difficult for me.â
Joshua tilts his head, genuine interest written all over his face. âOh. I didnât know there were differences in yokai magic.â
âOf course there are,â Hansol says, like itâs obvious. âLike there are differences in humansâ skills, there are differences for yokai, too. We are not unlike you, you know.â
âI suppose thatâs true,â Joshua says thoughtfully. And then he looks Hansol in the eye again, smiling. Joshua is honestly so friendly, and even though they only met two minutes ago, he feels like heâs known him for years. âSo you wonât object to being friends with a human, right?â
Hansol blinks, surprised, and Joshuaâs smile just widens. Itâs obvious what heâs asking, and Hansol feels⊠touched, that heâd even suggest such a thing.
âYeah,â Hansol says, and his magic finishes off the snowman with an intricate flourish of frost. âIâd love to be your friend.â
âJoshua!â
The calling of the humanâs name makes both Joshua and Hansol turn around, and they see one of the elder villagers coming over to them, the skirts of her robes swishing as she walks. Sheâs terribly intimidating, greying hair pulled back into a bun with a pointy hair stick, marching over with incredible grace even through the ankle-deep snow that has gathered. She squints at the yokai and how close Joshua is sitting to him.Â
âMrs Choi,â Joshua greets, apparently oblivious to the sharpness of the womanâs gaze. âHello. Itâs very cold today, isnât it?â
She eyeballs Hansol for a moment before nodding at Joshua. âVery. Frightful weather, but at least the children are enjoying the snow.â Mrs Choi lifts her gaze and squints into the distance, where the children are playing. âI hope someone is supervising them.â
âOh, well, Hansol is, so donât worry about it,â Joshua says with a smile.Â
Mrs Choi snaps her gaze back to them. âIs he really?â Hansol nods, doing his best to look as earnest and trustworthy as possible, and she hums. âI see.â
âHe has them doing a snowman competition, actually,â Joshua says. âHeâs very good at making them himself, too. Look. Donât you think his creation looks amazing?â
He points to the snowman in front of them, glistening with frost and embroidered with thin ice, clearly a work of his magic. Hansol swallows, expecting Mrs Choi to fly into a tizzy over the presence of such witchcraft, but she just scrutinises the snowman, and thenâ
She smiles.
âItâs very pretty,â she says, and in the blink of an eye, her expression has turned warm. Sheâs smiling so nicely at Hansol, and then she leans down and brushes a hand over the top of his head, gently dusting away the snow that had landed in his hair. âJust like you, my dear.â
Hansol blinks up at her, open-mouthed. âIâ thank you, maâam.â
She chuckles, straightens, adjusts the skirt of her robes. âNo need to thank me. Iâm simply telling the truth.â Mrs Choi nods in the direction of the children, before turning away. âThank you for taking care of the children, also. Keep up the good work.â
Hansol watches her go, feeling a little dazed. She had looked so sharp and stern at first, but something about him sitting there harmlessly and making a harmless snowman with harmless snow gathered in his hair must have done something to convince her that heâs, well, harmless. Which is good. Very good. Hopefully sheâll let everyone else know, too.
âYeah, she looks scary, but Mrs Choi is anything but,â Joshua says with a laugh, when Hansol directs his wide-eyed gaze to him.
âSheâs terrifying.â
âHer son takes after her,â Joshua chuckles. âChoi Seungcheol. He looks scary, but heâs a right softie on the inside, trust me.â
Hansolâs eyes widen further. âSheâs Seungcheolâs mother? The village leader?â
âThe one and only,â Joshua affirms. He laughs. âDonât worry about him. His own mother found you cute. Iâm sure heâll be won over by you in no time. Especially if you keep making snowmen that rival Y/Nâs in their intricacy. Seriously, I think yours are the best Iâve ever seen.â
âShua, I hope I didn't just hear you dissing my amazing snowman building skills.â
Hansol looks up at your voice, and sees you slowly treading over to them, a drawstring bag dangling over your shoulder as you pick your way through the snow. The tip of your nose is red from the cold, cheeks a pretty pink with an amused smile on your face, and the moment he sees you, itâs like youâve stolen his breath away.
Whilst Hansolâs too busy being starstruck, Joshua laughs, leaning back on his hands.
âSo what if I was?â he teases, and nods to Hansolâs snowman. âDoesnât it look amazing?â
You look away, directing your gaze to the snowman. Humming thoughtfully, you eye Hansolâs creation, and he begins to grow a little nervous under your critical silence, fiddling with his fingers and digging them into the snow, wisps of cold air seeping from his skin.
And then you smile, a lopsided smirk that makes Hansol feel a little dizzy.
âI can certainly do better.â
Before he can say anything, you set down your bag, and with a flick of your wrist the snow begins to swirl and gather itself before you. Under your command, golden streaks of magic begin to press the snow together, creating larger shapes that you obviously plan to sculpt into a showstopping piece.
You look almost relaxed in your movements, the entire process taking nothing more than a slight twitch of your fingers as magic sparks zip around the sculpture thatâs gradually beginning to form. Hansol can only watch in awe, amazed at the fluidity and effortlessness of your power. By his side, he thinks he hears Joshua chuckle softly.
After a few short moments, the three of you are staring at a large, smoothly finished sculpture of a winter fox, and you smile and cross your arms, satisfied.
âWhat do you think?â you say, smug, confident in your belief that youâve proved yourself.
Hansolâs jaw is on the floor. Delicate pointy ears, a fluffy-looking tail all made out of snow, and wow, are those whiskers? Did you really make whiskers?
âWow,â is all he can say, staring at this lifelike fox thatâs made entirely out of snow. âWow.â
Just then, there are high-pitched exclamations from somewhere in the distance, and the children that Hansolâs been supervising come bounding over, shouting in amazement at the fox that youâve made.Â
âHi, kids,â you say when theyâre close enough, laughing when Yeowon barrels into your legs to give you a hug. âQuick question, which snow sculpture do you think is better? The fox, or the Frosty the Snowman?â
They all look very thoughtfully at the two snow pieces in front of them, before unanimously pointing to your creation, and you grin triumphantly at Joshua and Hansol. Hansol just smiles back, totally expecting such an outcome. Youâd beat him any day when it comes to stuff like this, and heâs totally fine with that.
âThatâs not even a snowman,â Joshua protests, but itâs clear heâs arguing just for the fun of it. âY/N, thatâs not a fair competition.â
You shrug flippantly. âIâd win anyway.â And then you wink, pleased, and Hansol feels like burying himself in the snow just to try and get rid of his red cheeks.
âMister Fox, we wanna play with you now,â Minjun says, and he looks up to see the children standing around him, red-cheeked and damp-haired but still eager to play more. âCan we play a game with you?â
âItâs getting late,â Hansol tries to say, but apparently, that had been a rhetorical question, because theyâre hauling him up to his feet so they can play with him. âThe marketâs already closing. Shouldnât you all go back to your parents now? Joshua? Y/N?â He looks back pleadingly as he gets dragged away, and you and Joshua just laugh, waving him goodbye.
âHave a nice time!â Joshua calls, standing up from the snow and brushing down his clothes. He stands closer to you, smiling as you both watch him begin to play. âHeâs good with them, isnât he?â
You smile too. âHe really is.â
âThe best,â another voice adds, and you look over your shoulder to see some of the villagers also watching Hansol. Theyâre all the parents, and yet they seem perfectly content to let their children play around with the yokai, any trace of hostility gone from their faces.Â
That makes you smile wider. âIâm glad you think so, Mrs Lee,â you say, and the woman smiles back. âDonât worry. Heâll keep your children safe.â
Mrs Lee bows her head in acknowledgement, eyes turning soft as you all watch Hansol let the children punt tiny clumps of snow at him. âWe know.â
They stay with you for a little longer, chatting about Hansolâs gentle nature and how wonderfully he gets along with the children, before eventually they disperse and begin packing up the market for the day. Next to you, Joshua is also smiling, looking fond, which is really weird because he barely knows Hansol but thereâs definitely a clear look of admiration and affection in his face. Before you can comment on it, though, he pats you on the shoulder, and begins to step away.
 âI better go,â he says. âCheolâs coming your way. I think he wants a talk.â
He bids you goodbye then trudges back through the snow, and you look over your shoulder to see that Seungcheol really is coming your way. Instead of greeting him, however, you look back out at Hansol, and wait until the village leader is by your side.
âHello, Y/N.â
âHello, Seungcheol.â
You donât offer him anything else, and so the two of you stand there in silence, continuing to watch Hansol play with the children. It is an adorable sight, though, and makes the corners of your lips twitch upwards the longer the silence goes on. Heâs totally lenient with them, letting them pull his tail and ambush him with damp gloves and shrieking laughter. His head whips back and forth constantly between the two sides of kids that have inexplicably formed, somehow finding himself in the crossfire as snowballs get flung around him.
Itâs cute, and it makes you laugh, heart warming with fondness. You can feel Seungcheol watching you out of the corner of your eye, and when itâs clear heâs not going to say anything until you do, you sigh and turn your back on Hansol at last, raising an eyebrow.
âWell?â you prompt. âWhatâs up? You didnât come find me just to say hello.â
Seungcheol pauses, and looks down. âNo. I didnât.â A beat. âMy mother actually told me you were here.â
âOkay. And?â
âShe talked to Hansol,â he says, and both your eyebrows raise this time, in surprise. âShe said to me that she liked him, and she wanted me to open my eyes and finally realise how much of a good person he is.â
Seungcheol clasps his hands behind his back, rocking on his heels. He looks over your shoulder, at where Hansol is undoubtedly doing something silly to entertain the children, and his eyes go gentle. They donât soften, and they certainly donât melt, but his gaze becomes a little more mellow, like a layer of hardness has finally given way.
âAnd he is a good person,â Seungcheol says, looking at you again. âIâve been watching him all day. All week, in fact, and even if my mother hadnât said anything, I wouldâve sought you out to tell you this, because I think I owe you an apology.â
You breathe a laugh. âYou certainly do,â you say, but thereâs no real bite. Seungcheolâs actions were understandable. Youâve already forgiven him.
Seungcheol seems to know that too, because his lips quirk up into a half-smile. Nevertheless, his words are genuine when he says, âIâm sorry. I was too rash, and too harsh. Any worries I had over yokai did not excuse the way I talked about Hansol. Do you think you can also tell him how sorry I am?â
You draw in a long breath, cross your arms and lean back, staring down your nose at Seungcheol. His smile wavers, a little, but then you relax, breaking out into a grin.
âYou can tell him yourself. Heâd love to talk to you,â you say, and Seungcheol smiles too. âIâm sorry, too. I shouldnât have reacted like that. Youâre just looking out for the village, like you always do. ButâŠâ You shrug. âI was looking out for my kind, also. I was frustrated that you were treating Hansol like that just because he was a yokai.â
Seungcheol breathes out, wisps of white spilling from his lips. âI get that. It makes sense that you felt that way.â His eyes lighten with mischief suddenly, his smile taking on a teasing edge. âEspecially considering the fact youâre in love with him, too.â
The world grinds to a halt. You stumble, taken aback by Seungcheolâs words. âIâm sorry, what?â
Nothing else gets to be said about the matter, though, because a small child goes zooming past you right at that moment, brushing against your side. And then, half a millisecond later, a fat clump of snow hits you square in the back.
The child continues running off, bubbling laughter fading into the market square. Slowly, very slowly, you spin on your heel and come face-to-face with the culprit.
Hansolâs still frozen in his throw position, one hand incriminatingly covered with snow. The moment he sees your face, his face breaks into a wide grin, that beautiful, big grin that shows the slight point of his yokai fangs. His eyes are glowing, alight with amusement and another, warmer emotion you canât quite name.
He tilts his head to the side, eyeing the snow gently tumbling down your back. âWhoops?â
âWhoops?â you echo, breathing a laugh. You look at Seungcheol, as if saying Can you believe this guy? before turning back to Hansol, a handful of snow magically making its way into your hands. âOh, youâre going to be saying a lot more than âWhoopsâ in a minute.â
Hansol laughs, holding his hands up placatingly. âNow hold on a minuteââ
Abruptly, his head jerks back, and he gets knocked off his center of balance by the force of the snowball youâd just lobbed at him.
You burst into laughter as Hansol, sitting on the ground and with snow in his hair and up his nose, wipes his eyes with a grin. âNow youâre just asking for it, I think.â
Still laughing, you snap your fingers, and several more balls of snow float up around you. âOh, itâs on.â
Cut to several minutes later, and somehow, the snowball fight between the two of you has devolved into a village-wide thing, children slipping and sliding in the snow alongside their parents as Seungcheol yells at his team to close ranks and you yell at yours to focus their sights on Hansol. The icy air stings your cheeks, and at some point it begins to snow again, hard, blurring your sight, but the whole thing still continues, the square filled with the laughter of the villagers.
And throughout it all, Hansol manages to find your gaze no matter where he is, gold eyes seeking your gold magic, and the beautiful sound of his laughter leaves you breathless every time.
âââââââââââââ ââœ,Â
All things considered, perhaps itâs totally expected that you end up falling for Hansol.
You donât get to truly mull over Seungcheolâs last words until much later, when you and Hansol have both changed out of your sopping wet clothes and are sitting curled up together on the sofa, both of you blinking sleepily at the fire youâve lit in the fireplace.
The snowball fight ended incredibly amiably, with everyone agreeing that Seungcheolâs team had obliterated everyone elseâs, despite the lack of magic users in his group. Youâd helped some of the villagers dust themselves off, and used magic to dry off the people who had gotten the most wet. Soonyoung, inexplicably, looked like heâd been dunked five times in a swimming pool, rather than emerging victorious from a snowball fight.
Finishing with Soonyoung, youâd looked back, and of courseâHansol was playing with the children, again, as if he had endless reserves of energy to spare. But in between letting the kids climb his legs and play with his swishing tail, he was chatting with the rest of the villagers, helping them tidy away their things.
It made you smile.Â
And then Hansol had looked back at you, as if sensing your gaze, and his entire face had lit up, brighter than the brightest summerâs day, and heâd quickly said goodbye to the villagers before coming bounding over to you, face so open and comfortable and warm andâ
Yeah. You like him a lot. And youâre sure that he likes you a lot too.
Hansol yawns, big and wide and content, his tail flicking lazily as he rests on your shoulder. Outside, the snowfall has increased to a snowstorm, complete with howling winds and dark, looming clouds, but inside, your cottage is warm, and you have a sleepy yokai pressed against your side, and life is, admittedly, kind of perfect.
Thereâs just one thing, though.
You need to tell him.
Lost in thought, you shift around absentmindedly, and Hansol looks up questioningly at the movement. The warmth of your magic prickles softly in the air around you, and when he takes your hand, you can feel his own magic murmuring softly in tandem with your own.Â
He continues to look at you, and then smiles, eyes glowing. Goodness, he really is so pretty.
âI like you,â you whisper, the words falling from your lips as if heâs enchanted you, bewitched you into saying how you truly feel for all to see. âI like you, Hansol.â
Hansol blinks, slow, cat-like. He lifts his head up, pulls away slightly from your shoulder so he can sit up and look at you properly. His eyes are shining, slitted pupils widening and rounding in adoration.
âThatâs good,â he says. âBecause I think youâre the prettiest person alive.â
Itâs almost a direct copy of the first words heâd said to you, almost a lifetime ago, when he had been out of his mind with a fever, red-cheeked and hazy-eyed and fixated on the way you smelled like chrysanthemums. The memory makes you laugh, heart squeezing with fondness, and you reach forward to cup Hansolâs cheeks, smiling wider when his eyes flutter shut briefly and he leans trustingly into your touch.
âThatâs funny,â you say. âBecause I think youâre the prettiest person alive.â
Hansolâs eyes crinkle as he smiles, showing those yokai fangs that you adore so much. His ears twitch with happiness, light speckles of frost covering his cheeks as he blushes. Heâs so pretty, and you love him so much.
Slowly, you inch closer until the tip of his nose brushes against yours. So close that you can count the snowflake-shaped freckles on his cheeks.
âYou forgot to say it back, though,â you murmur. âHansol, you didnât say you like me back.â
Hansol breathes a soft laugh. âI thought it was obvious.â His smile widens, so enamoured that it warms your heart. âY/N, I like you too. In fact, I think Iâm in love with you.â
You beam. âYou know what? I think Iâm in love with you too.â
And then you lean forward, and Hansol leans in too, and your lips meet in the softest, sweetest kiss. He tastes like magic, like love, like soft snow that numbs your senses but leaves your heart alive and alight and oh, this is everything you never knew you needed and more.
Hansolâs silver-white hair is falling into his eyes when you pull away, his golden irises shining brightly through them like dazzling, gorgeous sunlight peeking through the translucent colours of snowfall. The sight makes you instantly lean in to kiss him again, dizzy with adoration because goodness, this happiness is for you. He looks like this because he loves you.
And you love him too.

fics tags: @jeonginssa @weird-bookworm @minhui896 @slytherinshua @haowrld @belladaises @moonlitskiiies @mirxzii @zozojella @kawennote09 @a-wandering-stay @abibliolife @doublasting @wonranghaeee @icyminghao @sweet-like-caramel @your-yxnnie @odxrilove @kyeomyun @crackedpumpkin @jeonride @kellesvt @eightlightstar @onlyyjeonghan @aaniag @starshuas @raevyng @isabellah29 @hrts4hanniehae @mcu-incorrect @dokyeomkyeom @suraandsugar @haodore @tulsa24 @melodicrabbit
#the k fic collection review#chee chats about: yeoubi by fairyhaos#svt rec#svt fanfic#f: seventeen#p: chwe hansol x reader#g: fantasy#g: fluff#g: historical au#g: magic au#g: strangers to lovers#r: sfw#wc: 20k to 30k
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[OUT NOW] My Voice Stops Where You Begin ⥠p.hs



âshe fell first, he fell harderâ - Enhypen campus series
đ ë°ì±í x f reader
âïž You werenât used to silenceânot like this. You were the kind of person who filled every space with energy, laughter, noise. The kind who could start a conversation in the elevator, make friends in group projects without even trying. But when it came to Park Sunghoon, words felt like they got stuck somewhere between your chest and your throat, tangled in nerves youâd never known you had. You didnât even know whyâmaybe it was the way he always looked so detached, like nothing and no one could reach him. Maybe it was the way he seemed untouched by the chaos of campus life. Or maybe, it was because from the moment you saw him, you couldnât look away.
Sunghoon was tired. Everywhere he went, there was a shadow. And not hisâan annoying 5â3 one that followed him everywhere. You. With your too-bright laugh and your too-loud voice, always surrounded by people, always somehow just a few steps behind him. In class. In the library. Even at the cafĂ© across campus, like the universe had a personal vendetta against his peace. Yet she never spoke to him, not a single word, just observed him from a distance. Like he was a painting in a museumâone she wasnât allowed to touch. You thought he was cool. Not in the stereotypical sense, not the leather-jacket kind of cool. More like the quiet, unreadable mystery type. The kind who didnât need to say anything to take up space. And it made you nervous. You, who was never nervous. There was something about Sunghoon that made your heart stumble. So you admired him from afar, thinking heâd never notice. But the thing isâhe did. And when he finally felt it, he felt it all at once. Hard.
release date: l READ NOW · lmk if you wanna be tagged · wc 15k - 30k · masterlist
#enhypen campus series#enhypen#enhypen x reader#kim sunoo#enhypen ff#teaser#sunghoon fluff#sunghoon x reader#sunghoon imagines#sunghoon scenarios#sunghoon smut#sunghoon angst#sunghoon fanfic#park sunghoon#enhypen sunghoon#park sunghoon x reader#sunghoon#sunghoon smau#sunghoon au#sunghoon soft thoughts#sunghoon soft hours#she fell first he fell harder#sunghoon hard thoughts#enhypen park sunghoon#park sunghoon fluff#park sunghoon smut#enha sunghoon#sunghoon enha#sunghoon enhypen#enhypen imagines
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the ultimate guide to f***ing nomin
teaser (full fic here)

PAIRING: reader x jeno + jaemin
GENRE: producer!mc, smut, humor
ESTIMATED WC: 30k
TEASER WC: 1.8k
SYNOPSIS: DJ Juliette is over just being a DJ. She misses being a producer and working with artists but no one is biting anymore. She's living from paycheck to paycheck, so when MC receives a pink business card from that company, she should take it. But her fellow SHAWOLs are screaming at her and she knows better. So they send in the heavy arsenal wrapped in head-to-toe Chanel. This woman, named Lindsay Liu, knows she can talk her into it.
WARNINGS: threesomes, slight language barriers, hella campy/maybe even bad, mc is described as American and having a midsized body, explicit language and descriptions of sex, working at SM Entertainment, mc has a "stage name", Juliette isn't her actual name.
+ dialogue and text messages italicized in their entirety means MC is translating them from Korean!
NingNing are you not seeing the gc? Lindsay just sent something CRAZY
You choose to ignore Yizhuoâs text for one simple reason. Itâs five a.m., which is much too early to translate. Youâre already grouchy from being up this early, youâd rather just hurry and get ready for your first scheduled session.Â
And throughout all three hours of said session, your phone is buzzing into oblivion. You have to wonder if a cartoony vein is popping out of your forehead when one of the members stops singing in the booth. You look up to see not only him, but everyone else in the studio staring at you.Â
âJuliette, if you need to excuse yourself for a moment to answer your phone, please do so.â Says the groupâs manager, looking unimpressed with your attitude. Embarrassed, you immediately stand up, bowing at everyone in the room and softly apologizing in Korean.Â
You rush out in the hall, half of you just eager to be relieved of the tension you caused and the other half is eager to mute that group chat. You search for the app, forgetting what itâs called since you rarely use it.
An unfamiliar logo is grouped with the other messaging apps. SCR⊠right, you think, and what does that mean again?
Youâre tempted to delete it since itâs collecting dust, but deep down you know exactly why you wonât. Thereâs a rabid fangirl constantly reminding you that your favorite idols only trust this app to send⊠private messages. Not always something inappropriate, just anything they canât risk being exposed. You sigh and open the app to at least do what you originally set out to.
The group chat, cheesily named âGossip Girlsâ, has over 999+ unread messages. Youâre not sure just how much that plus is hinting at since you rarely open it, but you remember there being significantly less the last time you glanced at the home page. And that wasnât that long ago. Thatâs when you see the previews of the messages flying by.Â
their shoulders are so broad, it gets me⊠this is so strange Lindsay, do you know their type? I wa⊠kinda horny now lololol I bet they only like really skinny girls⊠So whatâs their size? Donât leave us⊠iâd pay just to see it lol god they would KILL on onlyfans
⊠What in the world is going on? You open the group chat at the speed of light. Frustratingly youâre positioned where you left off two months ago. You have to scroll through dating rumors and confirmed relationships, leaked songs, or whatever other hot gossip one of the girlsâ heard. This app was created by celebrities for celebrities (and a select few normies). If you take a screenshot while the app is open, the picture is blurred just like snapchat and the other chatters are notified. Thereâs also an eyesore of a pattern in the background that supposedly distorts most phone cameras, so you canât take a physical picture either.
Plus, itâs not really in anyone using this appâs best interest to blow its cover. Almost everybody has dirt on them from that very app. Everyone chooses to keep the peace for another reason as well, intel. You finally you find it. Lindsay even translated it, and you have a strange feeling thatâs targeted at you.Â
Lindsay Liuê°à© Hello dolls, As some of you may know, I am moving back to Shanghai for the time being :*(. I know, Iâm so sad! Iâll miss seeing your gorgeous, gorgeous faces in real life. Anyway, Iâve decided to leave you guys with a parting gift. Me being the only person to experience this feels like a waste. One of you has got to have sex with Nomin.
You gasp, hugging your phone against your chest. The door creaks open and you feel your soul threatening to leave your body.Â
âAre you okay?â The manager peeks his head out, looking just as annoyed as he always is.
âI-Iâm sorry, thereâs an... emergency!â You give him a panicked smile after you find the word. Your face is sizzling hot as you lock your phone. His face gradually softens.Â
âYou donât look too good, we can end early todayââ
âOkay, thanks!â You rush toward a bathroom, any bathroom. Only when youâre locked in a stall do you feel yourself calm down. Your face is still hot to the touch as you unlock your phone. You have to admit, Lindsay really caught you off guard. God⊠if someone had glanced over your shoulder, you wouldâve had your ass handed to you. Despite what their artists sing about and how they dance, SM is a very sexless place. Any innuendos or allusions to sex are strictly prohibited. A part of you felt like them explaining those rules was only targeted at you because you were American (not that you would blame them). But after being here for two months, youâve gotten very used to the sterile environment.Â
Opening up that message in the middle of work felt like watching hardcore porn at your work computer. Is she joking? If she is, it is a little funny. You make a note to message her that before you continue.Â
Lindsay Liuê°à© Donât worry, I wonât be jealous or anything. If you know me, then you know I refuse to be attached to any man lol. But you should know that they donât just fuck anybody. From what theyâve told me, they donât look at most girls. Theyâre very particular about the girls they seek out. If you ask me, thatâs exactly why they barely have threesomes heheh ;3.
The first of many thoughts to surface is that Lindsay is clearly not joking. The next is a glaring question.
Who is Nomin?
You know better than to assume the k-pop industry debuted a nonbinary idol, so youâre not surprised when your google search returns two men. Youâre also not surprised that you donât recognize them since you donât know any groups who debuted after 2014. Theyâre handsome, though. Very much so. Theyâre both charming in their own way, and you can see why theyâre paired up. The vibes are reminiscent of the classic cat/dog dynamic youâve seen. You tap your index finger against your lips as you sift through the images. They have nice physiques...
Theyâre okay I guess, Iâll always be a Taemin girl, though. You spin your ring mindlessly, unable to tear your eyes away from Jenoâs bare torso.
Right, the message.
Lindsay Liuê°à© Here, Iâve compiled for you the steps to attempt to get Nominâs attention. Just to get it out of the way because it's obvious, you have to be up for a threesome. Even I couldnât get one of them alone. Also, no idols. Upsetting one fandom is already horrifying, upsetting two is just reckless. Anyway, - Tip One: Donât try so hard. If you look as good as they do, you get suitors constantly. And having to constantly deal with loud and unsubtle people is annoying. Besides, no one likes desperation. - Tip Two: If youâre going to change up your style and approach, donât lay it on thick in either direction. Donât become a BDSM dungeon master with your breasts practically falling out of your shirt. I bet you would look great, but youâd be ignoring tip one. But donât put on that weird demure act either. If youâre covered head to toe and pretend to be sex averse, how are they supposed to know you want to fuck them? - (extra hint: dress casually, but give them something to⊠you know. A shirt just tight enough or a skirt just short enough they think their dirty thoughts were their own fault. Just off the top of my head, something like a graphic tee thatâs slightly cropped with high waisted jeans that cover your midriff. Make sure the shirt hugs you just right đ)
You laugh to yourself. Graphic tee she says. She couldâve just said t-shirt, but sheâs making it very obvious. Perhaps on purpose? You pinch your jacket closed as if someone can see you right now. Youâre wearing the same shirt you had on when you met her, now that you think about it.Â
Tip Three: A quick Do & Donât for you: DONâT pretend to be their biggest fan. Name a single idol who has dated a fan. Exactly. DO become the best fan fiction character you can be. And I mean best. Donât go to their concert and read a book, thatâs ignoring tip one again. Donât say you hate their music or hate boy groups. Subtler. Say you love boy groups. Hell, say you love SM boy groups⊠but youâre not very familiar with new ones. Throw an older group out there like I donât know⊠SHINee. I think thatâs why they reached out to me, being a 2PM fan and all. I wouldnât have even looked their way on my own and I think that excited them.
That tip is the final straw for you. That one message was correct, this is strange. If she wanted to recommend you⊠have sex with those two, why wouldnât she just message you? And are they even aware of all this? It all rubs you the wrong way and you start to text her exactly that. Lindsay beats you to it, though.
Lindsay Liuê°à© Have you read the group chat at all?
Yes. What the hell.
Lindsay Liuê°à© What did you think of the tips ;)
Lindsay. Donât you think this is a little inappropriate?
Lindsay Liuê°à© Hey, I said they donât like the innocent act.
Iâm not participating in this! It feels icky. Am I crazy?
You exit out of her chat to message Yizhou the same thing. You canât be going crazy. This is weird. You fan yourself and exhale.
Lindsay Liuê°à© A little!! :DÂ
Lindsay Liuê°à© Theyâre already texting me that theyâre going to be so lonely and horny when I leave⊠they may even have to play with each other to copeâŠ
My GOD Lindsay.
You swipe the messenger away entirely, only noticing then how hard your heart is beating. You close your eyes and your mind immediately betrays you by painting the images you saw of Jeno and Jaemin together behind your eyelids. You ease onto the toilet, hands pressing against the stall one either side of you. The images refuse to cease and you let your thighs squeeze just a little.Â
Your phone buzzes and you send a ball of saliva back to roll down your parched throat before opening the app again.Â
Lindsay Liuê°à© Last time I checked on you, you told me you havenât been getting any play recently. Theyâre going to be in the same boat soon.
Lindsay Liuê°à© Remember what I told you? Idols have to be picky about who they sleep with and how often they do it. I know youâre thinking about quitting because this job isnât what you saw yourself doing, but you arenât utilizing the perks, doll </3 !
LIKES AND REBLOGS ARE APPRECIATED! `ââ©âÂŽ -â§
â proofread cycle 1 â proofread cycle 2
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