#we cannot keep doing this bro like collectively how can we keep paying this much for food | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

canary3d-obsessed · 3 years

Text

Restless Rewatch: The Untamed, Episode 26 part one

(Masterpost) (Other Canary Stuff)

Warning! Spoilers for All 50 Episodes!

I’m Coming Up So You Better Get This Party Started

The Lans arrive just in time to see Cousin Jin Zixun hassling Su She, and they wonder how he has the fucking nerve to come to a party that they are also invited to.

Su she was invited by his new best friend Jin Guangyao, who deploys a full-on charm attack, wrapping Su She permanently around his little finger.

Smoother than the Lanling weather that’s how he holds himself together Watch out, he’ll charm you

Jin Guangyao grew up with women who earned their living by being charming, pleasant, and hiding their true thoughts from their clients, and he appears to have mastered this useful skill set. With Su She, he exudes confidence and authority, allowing the lesser man to bask in his attention.

With Zewu Jun he deploys helplessness and embarrassment, effectively controlling a man with much greater power than his own.

Lan Xichen confronts him about Su She's presence, and Jin Guangyao pretends he didn't know that Su She was ex-Lan. This seems super unlikely, given that JGY is good at collecting information that he can use to fuck with people, and also that he sheltered Lan Xichen from the Wens directly after Su She betrayed him.

Lan Xichen seems like he doesn't believe what JGY is telling him but then he decides to drop it, passive-aggressively saying that since JGY is uninformed, he's not guilty. Lan Xichen is actually assuming a lot here about his right to tell Jin Guangyao who to invite and who to shun, but JGY doesn't push back. Lying is so much simpler.

(more behind the cut!)

Su She wins for most unintentionally sarcastic-seeming toasting expression.

Jiang Cheng, Party Animal

Jiang Cheng arrives at the party, bringing his Jiang retinue and his bad temper. He super obviously casts around to try to find Wei Wuxian, who already told him he probably wasn't coming to the party.

Jiang Cheng is that guy who only comes to a party because the girl he likes said she was thinking about going, and then he spends the whole party saying "hey have you seen Mei Lin? She said she was going to be here but I don't see her."

Jin Guangyao formally congratulates Jiang Cheng on the Jiang clan's success in the hunt, and Jin Guangshan toasts him. As always, Jiang Cheng reacts to praise from authority figures like it's rain in the desert, smiling from ear to ear. He says that the Jiang Clan will donate the prey from the hunt to the other gentry clans. ...what?

Are we seriously saying that when these dudes go night hunting it's not just to remove dangerous bad stuff, it's for profit?

Like, do they eat monsters? Wear their fur? Make leather from their skin? Carve jewelry from their claws? Is Jiang Cheng wearing a purple monster's skin right now? (There will be an art prompt at the end of this post)

Meanwhile, check out the way Nie Huaisang is looking at Jiang Cheng, wow.

Forecast: Hazing

Having gotten the single pleasant part of the banquet over with, it's time for the Jins to pick on the Lans. Cousin Jin Zixun goads Lan Xichen into taking a drink with him, knowing that this is (mostly) against Lan rules. Jin Guangyao tries to stop him by saying, hilariously, that it's bad to drink and fly on a sword, but CJZX waves this away and keeps pushing, saying that if Lan Xichen won't drink, it's an insult to him.

A random cultivator who is definitely on the Jin payroll backs him up, saying that teetotaling is for losers, and Captain Blowhard boisterously agrees. Loudly agreeing with powerful people is the Yao clan's signature martial arts skill.

Jin Guangyao looks embarrassed and helpless, which is, as mentioned before, his own signature skill. But he's just playing his own part in this piece of theater; everything happening at this party (so far) is happening for the benefit of the Jin Clan. Cousin Jin Zixun is an ass, but he's not actually a loose cannon, and Jin Guangshan is clearly enjoying the Lans' discomfort.

Why? This entire party, the hunt, everything he's done since the end of the Sunshot campaign, has been designed to increase and consolidate his power. His main goal is to get the Yin Tiger seal, but reducing the status of the Lans is also a good move for him. The Lans have been the strongest opponents to the use of resentful energy, and worked the hardest to conceal and contain the Yin iron in the past. If he wants to use resentful energy as part of his own cultivation, he needs them to chill.

So this is a bit of a test; will they comply with the will of the larger group in order to avoid conflict, or will they refuse, which will allow him to label them as iconoclastic weirdos?.

Lan Xichen takes a long look at his brother, who is expressing all sorts of emotions while keeping his face very very still.

At a guess, he is thinking that this entire party is bullshit, that his brother's willingness to play along with these assholes is bullshit, that being viciously beaten for having a single drink in his life was bullshit, that Wei Wuxian not being here right now is bullshit.

Lan Xichen picks the "go along, get along" path, having his drink and using his magic skill of anti-intoxication to neutralize it, as he'd done previously when drinking with Wei Wuxian.

Cousin Jin Zixun picks on Lan Wangji next, and since he cannot magically or even non-magically tolerate alcohol, there is a real risk to his reputation if he drinks. But Lan Wangji breaks rules when he feels like it, not when people tell him to. He pointedly ignores the offered drink while Lan Xichen looks worried.

The rest of the party guests have a wide variety of reactions, none of them helpful, to these shenanigans. Jin Guanshan's son and heir watches with calm interest as the power dynamics play out.

All of this is actually not great strategy for the Jins. The Lans don't play little social games to gain power, because all that time they spend not drinking, not gossiping, and not doing other stuff? Is spent cultivating and practicing sword and musical battle forms. The Lan Bros are overwhelmingly powerful as individuals, and embarrassing them won't change that.

It's moot, ultimately, because Wei Wuxian chooses this moment to arrive.

Darkness Visible

Wei Wuxian actually made a big impressive stair-climbing entrance to Jinlintai a few minutes ago, with camera work echoing Lan Wangji's stair climb at the Wen Indoctrination Bureau from several episodes back.

But nobody was around to see that, other than us, and when he appears at the party it's in stealth mode; he steps into the frame from out of nowhere, and drinks Lan Wangji's unwanted drink.

Lan Wangji responds by looking at him like this for the next several minutes.

Wei Wuxian doesn't have time for their usual sport of Extreme Gazing, though; he came for a reason, which is to find and rescue Wen Ning. He gets right to it, asking Cousin Jin Zixun where he's keeping him.

Jiang Cheng, who is the king of worrying about the wrong fucking thing, jumps up to try to stop Wei Wuxian from talking. Like, seriously, he's ok with the Jins trying to take his clan's special extreme weapon, but he's not ok with his head disciple being rude in order to fulfill a whopper of a life debt--Jiang Cheng's life debt, in particular--or being rude in order to preserve the clan's independence.

Jin Guangshan decides this is a good moment to bring up the Yin tiger amulet. Wei Wuxian pushes back, hard, pointing out exactly what Jin Guangshan is doing. He says he's setting himself up to be a new Wen Ruohan.

Lan Wangji pays close attention to Wei Wuxian's reasoning here, and so does Nie Mingjue, unless he’s just trying to mask his confusion.

Jiang Cheng is too busy being horrified to listen, apparently. Or he just doesn’t agree, preferring to be reduced to a secondary authority, rather than defy a primary authority.

Wei Wuxian is, of course, all about independence; he was literally born to be a rogue cultivator, despite being dubbed “patriarch” himself, not long after this.

Let’s Go Crazy Let’s Get Nuts

Wei Wuxian gets tired of the scene and decides to lose his temper. He makes a show of being enraged, and he genuinely is angry, but I don't think he's out of control, this time.

He acts like he's out of control in order to scare everyone, but he makes his points very clearly, reminding everyone that he has power they don't have, that he's good at killing, that he's not patient, and that his teeth are nicer than everybody else’s.

Everybody in the room freaks out to one degree or another--except Jin Guangshan, who is apparently too pissed off to be scared.

It's hilarious that Jin Guangshan thought he was going to get Wei Wuxian to hand the Yin Tiger amulet over by creating a complex system of social pressure against him. Wei Wuxian's favorite way of responding to social pressure is to escalate it into violence, regardless of the consequences; he's been doing that at least since Gusu Summer School and probably a lot longer. Jin Guangshan should know this, given how many beatings his son has taken from Wei Wuxian over the years.

Wei Wuxian does a fantastically sexy scary, theatrical countdown, and Cousin Jin Zixun caves in and gives him the information he wants. It's worth noticing that even under threat of death, CJZX doesn't comply until he visually checks in with his clan leader. He’s genuinely a bad person, yes, but he’s a loyal soldier, which is what most of these clans value most.

As soon as he gets what he wants, Wei Wuxian is perfectly, smugly, in control of himself again. Everyone in the room is still stunned and afraid, so Jin Guangshan has achieved that much, at least; nobody likes Wei Wuxian having the Yin tiger seal now, including Jiang Cheng.

As he leaves, Wei Wuxian has one of those conversations with Lan Wangji in which everything is said in glances in the course of a couple of seconds.

WWX: I love you, I have to leave you; I've got some shit to take care of and I won't be coming back to all of this.

LWJ: I love you; I'm probably going to have to fight you; your funeral is going to be so upsetting

Wei Wuxian turns away from everyone, and you can see the weight settling on his shoulders, as he contemplates the choices he just made and the choices that are still ahead of him.

Jin Guangshan, for the first and only time, loses his temper in front of everybody, literally flipping a table because he's so mad about what just happened.

Art prompt: Jiang Cheng wearing an outfit made of a Chinese mythical creature. Bonus points if it’s a qilin. Bonus bonus points if Zhang Qiling (from DMBJ/Lost Tomb franchise) is standing next to him looking grumpy while Jiang Cheng wears an outfit made from a qilin.

Soundtrack: Get This Party Started by Pink, Charm Attack by Leona Naess, Let’s Go Crazy by Prince.

#the untamed #the untamed gifs #wangxian #restless rewatch the untamed #canary3d-original #my gifs #learn to count the yiling way #1900 words

245 notes · View notes

strange-changes-ln · 3 years

Text

“Strange Changes.”

Chapter 6: “A Talk.”

…

The Janitor sat, within the tension between himself, and the Governess. She had decided to take this to the Library inside of the Residence, using two chairs she had managed to find. Her stare seemed blank. Well, clearly, with the mask on, it was gonna look that way, but under it, it was… firm.

A strong silence followed on. While the Lady sat firmly, with professionalism and elegance, Roger, on the other hand, was shuffling and shifting constantly, seeing no way to make this feel less… like this. Like he’s currently facing something… almost… dangerous. Not like he hasn’t before.

And like those times, he was never ready.

Silence, still. It was never-ending, it seemed, as the two collected their thoughts, and a way to begin the conversation.

” What has been going on. “ The Lady finally took initiative, considering the notion that the Janitor was not, and started the conversation. Roger perked up, blinking. Oh.

” ..uh.. well.. um.. “ He considered leaving the whole shadow invader thing out of the conversation entirely. It would make things easier, right?

But, at the same time..-

It’s a terrible idea. Lying doesn’t do anyone any good.

“ ..not..much..? “ ..that works..??

The Lady simply hummed.

Behind the mask, however, she frowned, as she was not pleased. She could tell the man was lying. It was in his tone, he was questioning his own wording.

” ..Roger. “

“ ..yes..? “

“ …You know very well, that something has been arising. It has been throwing your duties off track, as well as the Chef’s’. “ She leaned forward, looming over him, even in a sitting position.

" ..H-- "

" You know how, Janitor. "

Roger shrunk, shifting in the chair for the 30th time. His arms hung off the sides, given their length. His hands tensed. Squinting at the ground for a minute.

” We cannot be losing order here in the Maw, for it is the only place in this god forsaken world that makes sense anymore. So whatever the trouble may be rising, I suggest you say it now. It is best that you put an end to the- problem.. as soon as…… “

She stopped. Is he just- spacing out right now? Is this not important to him? After all she’s given him, this doesn’t concern him at ALL?

Indeed, he was lightly rocking back and forth, staring at the ground, not exactly obtaining anything the Lady was saying to him.

..Slowly, shadows began to whirl around the Governess, as she sat straight up, her posture tense. “ Roger. “

That got his attention. Eyeing back up at—

her. And the shadows. Oh. Oh no.

“ Pay attention. Does this not mean anything to you? Whatever is going on, I insist you explain NOW. That, is an ORDER. “ The shadows grew with intensity, swirling around her, menacingly. She looked… much more threatening like this. If she hadn’t been already, that is.

He flinched, expecting a sort of- physical contact to occur if he didn’t start talking. After all, he was simply a little, slightly shaking leaf, within the breeze of the one in control of this vessel. “ ..Y-Yes, Miss.. “ He nodded, with haste, so he could just get to the point.

“ ..There’s this.. I- I don’t really know what it is. It was like- like a shadow? A big, humanoid shadow. “ That was the simplest way to explain. She maintained her exterior, staring down at him through her mask.

" ..Shadow. " Her body just barely relaxed. " ..Do they have a name. "

" That's the thing. They don't-- we don't know their name. They keep it a secret. I don't- know why. "

" ...Hmm. " She leaned back into her chair. " This is.. unfortunate. Distracting. "

" ..Mhm. " Roger slowly reached up to adjust his hat a little bit. " Is- there anything you-- or- we, could do? " Asking, slowly beginning to relax himself. The Lady hummed.

" ..I will- see what I can do. " She nodded, the shadows ceasing from the air. " But for now, you and the Chef's can attempt to stall the... thing. "

Oh thank god. " Oh- that's-.. al-alright, uhh.. alright. "

. . .

Silence. Again. This is so awkward, good lord.

The Lady stood up, slowly. " I think we are done here. You may exit. "

" -Oh-- uh.. wh-what about the chairs? " Roger blinked.

" I will tidy that up on my own time. What I need you to do, is go. Do I make myself clear..? "

" ..yes, my Lady. "

She then vanished. He.. always wondered how she did that. How she attained that- shadow magic of hers. It's strange. To him, at least. But, without another word, he made his way to the exit of the Residence.

...

Okay. Okay. This is fine. Everything is fine. You aren't dead. Everything, is okay.

Roger took in a deep breath. Yep!! Everything is cool. Everything... is cool.

He needs something to drink. He just casually shuffles his way to the Kitchen.

" So! The talk went well? That's good, isn't it? " Thomas spoke up, trying to sound supportive- for one reason or another- while serving the Janitor a glass of water. He handed the glass cup to the short man. " So, what did she say? "

" Well.. uhh.. " Roger took the cup, and took a quick sip. " ..Mm- she said she'd see what she could do. But I don't know exactly what she will do, or when she'll do it. "

" Pehh. She might brush us off. Like always. " Marcus huffed, pouring himself a glass of wine. Though, he did glance to Roger for a moment. " Want some? "

" Nah. I'm not feeling it. "

" Oh, c'mon! Everyone needs a bit of wine every so often. 'Sides, you're looking terrible. You could use it. " Marcus commented. He's not wrong. Roger looks.. tired. And just unfresh. The Janitor deadpanned him for a moment.

" ...Really. "

" Seriously! I'm serious! I'm right, aren't I, bro?? Tell me he doesn't look terrible. "

" W-Well, I mean- " Thomas honestly didn't know how to respond. " ..I- uhhh.. "

" Exactly! "

" Alright, alright, calm down. No need to--- to keep--- wineing about it. "

" That was so bad, Roger, you know that- "

The Janitor just broke into a cackle. To him, that was- the funniest thing. Why? His sense of humor is broken, most likely. Thomas tried to find it at least somewhat funny. It wasn’t really there though. But Roger seemed happy with it.

“ C-Come on, it was funny- “ The Janitor held his hand straight up, pointing it towards Marcus.

“ No, it wasn’t, Roger. That was horrible. “ Marcus cringed, which only seemed to make it better for Roger, who was still laughing, smiling from ear-to-ear.

“ Kehehehe..heheh.. okay, okay. Now, uh.. I think I should- get going. “ He tilts his head towards the exit of the Kitchen, and back into the lower parts of the Maw. He eyed the cup of water he was still holding. He- kinda spilled some on the ground from the laughing. Oops. “ ..Sorry. “

” Oh- it’s okay. “ Thomas pats his shoulder gently. “ …Can I ask you something? “

” Huh? Sure, shoot. “

” Umm.. how many fingers am I holding up? “ The Chef proceeds to hold up four of his fingers. Roger simply blinked.

” ..Four. Why— “ oh wait.

“ -Y— You can tell?? You didn’t even have t— you can see now?? “ He looked confused, and surprised at the same time. Ohgeezohmanohokay—

“ ..I- I guess?- “

“ Wait- what? I thought you were just- “ Marcus squinted. “ ..Why didn’t you say you could- “

“ oH MAN- WOULD YOU LOOK AT THE TIME?? I REALLY GOTTA GO, I’M- “ He coughs in between the words. “ I gotta- I GOTTA- Go— do my job!! Really would like to talk some more, I REALLY would, but I shouldn’t be holding up my work, sowiththatbeingsaid, I’mgonnaleave- goodbye- bye- seeya- bye- “ Roger then ushers himself out and away from the Chefs.

He just left them in silence. A short period of silence.

” … “

“ Roger can see..? “

” Yeah, it’s weird, right?? “

” ..If- he can see, why do his eyes look so.. “

” Oh- I think that’s because.. uhh.. here, I’ll just explain it to you. “

…

Oh my god.

Why? Why did you do that? You’re so brain-dead. A moron. An idiot.

Why can’t you just talk to people correctly?

Roger groaned, pinching the bridge of his nose, squeezing his eyes shut. Once he opened them back up, his arm fell to his side, and he just- begun to shuffle forward. He needs to check on those kids. Make sure none of them went up and tried escaping while he was gone. For the while, he just thinks to himself.

The Lady. She’s very.. beautiful. But- at the same time, she’s kind of scary. And mysterious. Sort of in a sense, of- why does she wear the mask? Was it just an outfit choice, or is she hiding.. something? Where did she get that shadow thing from? It’s- sort of- confusing.

He squints. What’s gonna be done about the- the shadow person? Maybe she’ll take care of it privately? Probably, probably not.

Y’know what? Okay- stop thinking. Just keep going. Keep descending. Go check on the kids.

…

What’s their name? Why can’t they say? Is it- a sort of.. a sort of-

N-No. Stop. The last thing you need to focus on right now, is that- guy. Gal? Wait-

Stop. Just stop.

…

Roger rubs at his eyes. Tired. Need sleep. But you can’t. You gotta work first.

..you feel dirty. When was the last time you took a shower..? Washed your clothes…? Oh my god-

No- work first. Self-care second. Why is this so hard to understand right now, just do your stupid job.

He grips his head with one hand, and his face with his other, still walking, lowly groaning, and slightly humming, just trying to distract himself. Maybe-

NO. You’ve- you’ve been inconsistent enough, go do your job. The Governess didn’t let you stay here for nothing.

The hand holding his face, moves up to his hat. At least he’s not blocking his own view. You seriously need to chill. Nothing should make you do this. Focus. Focus.

..He blinks, staring at the ground, at his shoes. It’s.. kinda.. kinda blurry. He glances up ahead. Yeah.. yeah, it’s.. kinda blurry. Nothing looks right. It’s all.. it’s all.. really hard to see, right now, wait-

His arms fall to his side, his head tilts to the side, confused, rather lost, he doesn’t- understand what’s happening. He’s still walking. Does- does he even know where he’s going?? No, no, you don’t, cut it out and FOCUS. Why is that SO HARD?? You aren’t that tired, just-

He stops, scratching at his eye sockets, emitting garbled, agitated noises from his throat. Stop, stop, stop. Deep breath. In and out. In and out. You’re fine. You’re just.. tricking yourself..! Yeah.. you’re fine. You’re okay.

His vision isn’t blurry much anymore, but.. he can’t.. recognize where he is. Wait.. what?? He takes a step forward—

and he falls.

#Strange Changes #littlenightmares #little nightmares lady #little nightmares chefs #little nightmares #little nightmares janitor #roger the janitor #ao3 fanfic #fanfiction #fanfic

7 notes · View notes

twosidesofthesameidiot · 4 years

Text

You Had Me At Cupcake

Characters : Gwen; Lancelot

Warnings: none

Word count : 1325

Summary : Gwen has a paper due in two days, and the really distracting new barista is the only one on duty today. Gwencelot Coffee Shop AU

A/N: Well, there is my first attempt at a coffee shop AU. Ngl, it was difficult at times. The biggest thank you to @rangerofthesouth for helping me through this, and for the name! ILY, bro.

This falls under the meet-cute, i think

Gwen shook the snow from her hair and shoes as she pushed open the door of The Cryptic Dragon.

The warmth was nearly too much after the biting winds outside and she hurried to take off her thick coat.

Coat removed, Gwen felt comfortably warm, with sensation returning to her toes, fingers and nose.

She dropped her coat on the back of her chair and her bag on the table.

Today was very obviously a slow day for the - place.

Gwen had never found a word that quite described The Cryptic Dragon. Some, like Merlin's friend Gwaine, might call it a pub. Others, like Elena, might call it a café. Disreputable, Fine Dining Establishment, a front for an elaborate pyramid scheme, and a waste of space are among the other categories she has encountered in relation to the place.

To Gwen it was a perfect place to work. As long as she ordered a drink every now and then she was left to work through her never-ending mountain of assignments.

It helped that one of her best friends worked here and was the owner's nephew.

What did not help, however, was the newest barista/waiter. He was very unhelpful in that he was distracting. Not that he was actively being so, just his presence was enough.

He was Merlin's friend. Best friend, probably, from the way they went on. From what Gwen had seen, Merlin was actually open with him. The smiles were genuine in a way that Gwen rarely saw around other people.

That was the first thing Gwen had noticed about the distracting new addition to the team.

The second thing she had noticed was his smile, it was a real smile which reached his eyes. And his eyes were really very pretty.

His voice was amazing too.

Gwen had almost forgotten that she was meant to be giving him her order, that first time, and was truly grateful that Merlin had not been there to witness the scene.

And he was coming out from the kitchen now with a tray of fresh cinnamon rolls.

His emergence roused the three other people who were there and they immediately lined up at the counter as Gwen made her way slowly to join them, praying that Merlin would magically appear and save her from this situation.

Merlin, the traitor, did not appear and Gwen was left to manage the interaction as best she could.

"Hi," his voice was every bit as musical as she remembered, "Gwen, right?"

He knew her name?

"Uhh, yeah, that's me." Gwen twisted her rings trying to think of what to say next, "I, uh, I don't think we've met?"

"Oh, no we haven't," his eyes widened and he grimaced, "sorry! That sounded really creepy. I'm Lance, Merlin's friend."

Gwen took the extended hand, he - Lance - had a good grip, and his hand was warm, "I'm Gwen, but you already know that. How do you know Merlin?"

"We met in high school," Lance looked at her for a moment, "I don't know how much you know about that, um, and you? How long have you known him?"

"We met first year uni, I watched him get into and almost win a fight against Arthur Pendragon," Gwen smiled, "I helped him with the minor injuries sustained because his uncle would kill him if he found out."

"Gauis might have," Lance shrugged, "But then, where would he get staff on short notice?"

There was now a tray with a cinnamon roll and a mug of hot chocolate on it sitting atop the counter.

Noticing Gwen's look of surprise Lance grinned, "Merlin left very specific instructions, said you have a paper due in two days."

He was on the other side of the counter now, picking up the tray.

Falling into step with him, Gwen frowned, "Where is he? He's usually working today."

"Terribly sorry m'lady, but that is information I cannot divulge at the present time," He shrugged apologetically although his tone was anything but.

Realising that she was back at her table, with sustenance Gwen shook her head, "Thank you, Lance."

"My pleasure, just call if you need anything."

Gwen watched him disappear back into the kitchen before she sat down.

The hours slipped away and the next time Gwen took stock of her surroundings there were a few more people filling up the tables that were haphazardly strewn about the room.

Her paper was nearly done. All that was left was to go over it a few times and fine tune it, and that could wait until tomorrow.

When she returned from the washroom, she found Freya waiting at the counter and joined her, deciding today was not the day to go home and cook something.

Lance appeared with a bowl of stew which he handed to Freya, nested in a dishtowel.

"What kind of stew is that? I don't think I've ever seen it here before?" Gwen shot a questioning look at Lance who smiled.

"It's special, off the menu if you like. What can I get for you Gwen? Merlin didn't leave instructions for lunch."

"I'm still surprised he left instructions at all."

Gwen looked at Freya in surprise, "You knew he left instructions?"

"Lance told me, before he went to get my stew." she shrugged, "You should get today's special."

"Uh, okay, I'll meet you back at my table."

"I'll bring it to you, you don't have to wait here."

"Thanks!" Gwen had barely finished the word before Lance disappeared into the kitchen.

"You know Lance?" Gwen couldn't keep the curiosity out of her voice.

"Mm, yeah," Freya nodded, "we've known each other for a long time now."

"You have?" Having reached the table, Gwen collected her papers and pens that lay on top of it.

"Yeah," Freya smiled as she sat down, "We met Merlin separately though, none of us connected the dots for a while. How's your paper?"

Gwen shook her head. For as long as she'd known Merlin and Freya, they both had remained so vague about anything that happened in their pasts. "It's almost ready, and for now it's tomorrow's problem."

"Your meal, m'lady," Lance placed a plate of spaghetti bolognaise in front of Gwen, and a coffee.

"Thank you," Gwen smiled at him.

"As before, my pleasure."

"Huh, Merlin was right," Freya watched Lance weaving his way around the tables as he checked on the customers.

"About what?" Gwen asked.

Freya smiled at her, "Don't worry about that. What are you doing this weekend?"

Lunch passed comfortably and Gwen felt decidedly more relaxed than she had that morning.

Eventually she and Freya made their way to the counter to pay. When they had finished Lance tossed a securely wrapped takeaway box to Freya who immediately put it in her bag.

"This one is on the house," Lance smiled as he handed Gwen a box with a bow on it, "Let me know if you like it?"

"It's for Húan," Freya said as they stepped out of The Cryptic Dragon, "Gauis disproves of him getting human food, but burnt biscuits don't seem to negatively affect him, so Lance and Merlin smuggle him stuff."

"You feed your dog Merlin's experiments too ?" Gwen asked.

Freya laughed, "No, that could actually be dangerous."

Now safely ensconced in Gwen's car, Freya turned to her, "What's yours?"

"I don't know," Gwen gently pulled on the ribbon forming the bow on top of the box, "Let's find out."

She lifted the lid off the small box. There was writing on the inside of the lid, but the cupcake was what caught her attention.

The icing was a deep red and there were golden letters on it.

Freya somehow read the word before Gwen did and let out a giggle.

"Well, what do you think?"

"I think, if you hold this for a moment," Gwen handed the box to Freya and opened her phone, grinning, "I have a date this weekend."

#Gwencelot #gwen #lacelot #bbc merlin #bbc merlin fanfic #Lance writes #gwenfest #coffeeshop au

30 notes · View notes

theobxhummingbird · 4 years

Text

RATHER DIE FROM LOVE. -JJ MAYBANK X READER.

Summary: JJ joins a cooking class with John B, and so happens to be taught by his long time crush from the island.

A/N: My JJ series is personal to me, I cannot explain. It’s what I started this blog for, and am so happy to be able to still write for it. OBX family forever. 🥰🥰🥰🥰

(GIF CREDITS TO OWNER)

It took John B a long time, to finally unstick JJ from the old couch, and drag him to the Volkswagen. He’s been planning to cook for their dinner date with Sarah; which was his biggest mistake in the first place, for promising her and at the same time lying that he can cook, that all that came to his head was joining in on a culinary class a group of students held in the Outer Banks. He was lucky, OBX gave even that chance to save him from embarrassing himself in front of his girlfriend.

And of course, John B being John B, brought both JJ and Pope with himself for support, knowing Pope’s the smarter one, and JJ...he was just there to be present.

-I don’t understand why I’m going? -JJ shut the door, -Like, I don’t even own the C from cooking. How am I supposed to go there, not knowing what even the vegetables are called?

-JJ, it’s a class, that’s why they’re held, so people can learn. -John B turned the keys, and started the car, leaving the Chateau.

-What if we get salmonella, huh? Did you think about that? We have to try the food.

-You eat moldy breads, your organism is used to it. -Pope added from the back.

-That’s not the case now Pope, shut up. -JJ tried to give some reasons for them to get back so he could sleep in all day. -Look bro, we can go back while we have time. Think about it.

-I promised Sarah I’ll cook her dinner. And the only thing I know is making a toast, that I end up burning every time.

-That was your first mistake---promising. -said JJ, and rested his elbow on the window.

He looked like a little kid, brought to the doctor’s without his willingness. JJ sluggishly followed John B and Pope to the sign up stand, and when they got their badges, a table of cooking equipment was waiting for them.

-Did you take band aids, in case we murder each other? -JJ said to Pope.

-Why would we use band aids, if we’re murdering each other?

-I don’t know what I’m saying bro, it was the first and stupidest thing that came to mind. -he observed the table detail by detail.

-Ssh, the class is starting. Our teacher’s approaching the tables. -John B whispered to them. And just like struck from reality, and happiness at the same time, JJ’s mouth dropped to his feet. His eyes focused on her, and only blurred out everyone around except her. JJ’s skin littered with goosebumps, and Pope noticed he’s not listening to anything at the moment, even John B repeating the same words to him, so nudging him came the first thing to save his friend from embarrassing himself.

-Your name? -said one of the students.

-Beautiful...-JJ trailed his eyes to where she was going, but when Pope cleared his throat after the nudging didn’t work, JJ was back to reality, -Huh---Oh, JJ...Maybank, JJ Maybank.

-Bro, what beautiful are you talking about? -him and Pope started laughing at their friend.

-Dude, that’s the girl I’ve been talking to you about. The one I saw at the kegger, Y/N. Oh how she’s pretty in daylight.

-See, coming here wasn’t so bad after all.

-Shut up, let’s get you die of salmonella, rather than die from Sarah. -he said, and took a hold of whatever the others did.

-You have a whole hour to complete a meal, and I’ll come and taste each one. Please don’t make a mess, or borrow things from others. Everyone has their ingredients in front of them. We’ll be helping you all with cutting, stirring, or whatever you need a help with. Okay? -she said, and when everyone approved she jogged to the radio and put some music on, and started dancing her way to the table.

The student group also cooked something, and she was mostly present there, and also being present at the other tables.

-Wait, wait. -she appeared next to JJ, -You can’t cut these too big, for else they won’t be easy to fry, -Watch. Slowly, and they’ll be thin. And don’t press on the knife too hard...uh....

-JJ. -he said, leaning on the counter and glancing at her lips.

-JJ, don’t press the knife to hard. Watch. -she gave him the knife, and positioned her hand on top of his, as they both cut some fries.

She danced her way to one of her guy friends, and they both danced to the music. Y/N held the energy of the group, and it made everyone willing to work, because usually classes like this were said to be too boring. But the girl seemed skillful when it came to entertainment and professionalism.

-That blonde guy over there, has been drooling over you this whole class. -her friend secretively tried to seem as if dancing, just to whisper her that sentence.

-Who? JJ? When I heard his name, I instantly knew he’s the well-known heartthrob in the Outer Banks. I’m not his type sweetie.

-Are you joking? It’s been said that he has a crush on you, but you didn’t hear it from me. -she sang-song the last bit, and moved to the tables that needed help.

-What were you talking about? -he said, and Y/N just shrugged her shoulders, dancing to distract him so he couldn’t ask too many questions, or that same one over and over again.

JJ didn’t even take in one thing from the class, his eyes were darting whenever her figure popped up at a table or he saw her moving around, dancing and singing.

-Bro, I don’t know if I’ll be able to do this same thing for Sarah tonight. -John B felt hopeless from the class, but he really did succeed in making a meal that day. As well as JJ and Pope.

-Sht, -Y/N’s best friend nudged JJ, -I didn’t give it to you, okay?

-Wha-JJ took the tissue paper.

-Y/N’s Instagram and number. You’re not too secretive, Mr. Maybank, it’s obvious. I didn’t give it to you, hey, remember that.

John B and Pope were dying of laughter next to him, -Dude, the whole class realized you like the girl.

-Don’t joke with me, or you’ll feed Sarah with algae and snails. -he said, and shoved the tissue in his pocket.

-Disgusting. -said Pope and continued with whatever he was inventing at the moment. -Bro, I’m for math and physics, not gastronomy.

-If you weren’t forced to cook, I would’ve positioned you with the job of counting how much more time we have. -said John B.

-We have 15 minutes John B, and you’re still not even on the sauce.

The timer beeped, and everyone left what they were doing, and the students came to each, taste what the others have made. Praising some, and definitely giving a few critics to others, the class was over, and the money collected were donated to the charity that helped with saving the Outer Banks animals.

With John B being happy with his one-day cooking skills, Pope thrilled he’ll rest, and JJ more happy than the both of them for having the girl’s number and Instagram, the three of them headed for the Chateau, where Kie was waiting.

-John B you’re supposed to be making this yourself. -she said, setting the romantic table for the two.

-What are friends for Kie? To help each other. -he said, trying to make the plates look like he’s been working as a chef at The Wreck his whole life.

-Dude, I don’t even know how to fold these napkins. -said JJ, trying to watch a tutorial on YouTube on how to make them a heart.

-Give me that. -Pope got annoyed at how he crumbled a 100 by that time, and grabbed them from his hands.

The table was set, and it looked amazing. Everyone promised they will keep the secret, saying the following : “No Pogue on Pogue-exposing”.

-Get lost now, so Sarah doesn’t get suspicious when she sees you here. -he said, and fixed himself.

Kie, Pope and JJ, all got outside and decided to visit the Wreck for their dinner. It wasn’t fancy like John B’s, but it was enough for them.

-J, did you text Y/N? -said Pope, filling a glass of water.

-Nah dude, I can’t pull myself to do it.

-Who’s Y/N? -said Kie.

-The girl that taught us how to cook, who also happened to be JJ’s crush from the kegger.

-Oh the girl that you couldn’t stop talking about. Oh, now I see.

-Yeah, and one of her friends gave me her number and Instagram.

-Because old chap JJ, wasn’t secretive at all, and the girl saw that.

-At least I got her number, what did you get? No culinary scholarship.

-Don’t hit my soft spot like that. -he said, holding his left side.

-Then DM her, what, are you waiting for an invite? -said Kie.

JJ opened searched her name, and opened clicked on the message:

JJ: Hey, it’s JJ from the class today.

Y/N: Hiiiii JJ, how are you?

JJ: I’m good, how are you?

Y/N: I’m doing good, thank you.

JJ: So um---I found your Instagram account, and didn’t know if it would be creepy to write to you after today’s class immediately, but I thought why not, so here I am.

Y/N: No problem, it’s not creepy at all don’t worry.

JJ: I actually saw you at a kegger, a few weeks ago.

Y/N: Oh really. Hmm, I wasn’t paying attention to the people, because my friends from abroad were there and I wanted to spend some time with them. But if I was, then there would’ve probably been a chance of seeing you.

JJ: It’s fine, I spotted you anyways.

Y/N: Yeah, you did. 😊

JJ: Are you down for some drinks tomorrow, my treat?

Y/N: Sure, why not, let’s get to know each other.

JJ: I’ll pick you up, then we can go to one of mine and the Pogues’ favorite cafe here in the OBX.

Y/N: That sounds perfect, see you tomorrow then?

JJ: See you tomorrow. 😁

Y/N: Bye, JJ Maybank. 🥰

JJ: Bye, Y/N Y/L/N. 🥰

-She’s one chill person bro, let me tell you. -said Pope reading the DMs they sent each other.

-You’re going on a date with her, that’s what matters. -added Kie.

-I’m so excited, my feet are itching. -said JJ, rubbing them together.

-I think you need to wash them, that’s why they itch.

-Pope, I didn’t know you’re a dermatologist bro. -JJ rolled his eyes, and reread the texts with Y/N. Nothing mattered to him at the moment; when they got to the Chateau, he plopped on the hammock, thinking of what he’ll do with Y/N tomorrow. And she seemed to do the same, because after hours of stalking his Instagram profile, some sort of excitement was born in her. OBX’s biggest flirt wanted to go on a date with her, still sounded surreal to her and it had her shook for a long time, until she fell asleep.

The both of them met at the decided place, and obviously chilled Y/N went in for a hug, which left JJ a bit confused though he played it off nicely. They went inside the cafe and ordered their drinks.

-How’s the milkshake? -he pointed to the glass with his eyebrows.

-It’s the best one I’ve drunk so far. -she giggled. -It really is, I swear.

-Okay, okay I believe you. -he let out a short laugh.

-I like the place as well, retro-vintage style is my absolute favorite for cafes.

-Yeah, I like it too. -he said, looking at her as her eyes wandered around.

-So, are we just going to talk about the place, or are you going to say what you’ve been trying to, and I’ve been waiting for?

-Haha, I’m that obvious huh?

-I mean---a little bit. -she laughed.

-Okay, okay. See, I’m never a straight-forward person. I throw in words, but never tell what I want to. I like you Y/N, and have liked you since the kegger. And now, that I have you in front of me, I am asking you if you want to be my girlfriend?

-I do, JJ. I do want to be your girlfriend. And maybe, I don’t know, I seem like I’m not interested, I like you too. You are a fun person, and I know I’ll have fun and happy times with you, so yes we can date.

His hand travelled to hers, and he kissed her knuckles. After a long time of peeking for each other at keggers, the two got to be face to face at one table. Sometimes expressing love, doesn’t need many gestures. Just a few confessions of what two really feel for each other, is enough to form a bond they’ll soon need to take care of. And Y/N and JJ did the same; without complicating it and talking to each other, they could now call each other ‘us’.

#jj maybank x reader #jj x y/n #jj maybank imagines #obx imagines #outer banks series #jj maybank obx #john b #sarah cameron #pope hayward #kiara carrera #jj maybank x you

73 notes · View notes

toukenramblings · 3 years

Text

Video Games: Mutsunokami Yoshiyuki, Aizen Kunitoshi, Atsushi Toushirou

Oh ho, a fun lil headcanon set like this is so funnnn~!

Warnings: Not much I suppose?

Mutsunokami Yoshiyuki

Sweet MuMu adores video games where we can travel the world. Fantasy world, modern world, past, present, future, he don’t care! An open world game will suit him best! There’s so much to do, and like a lil puppy, MuMu want’s to explore it all!

Extra bonus points if there’s a part of the game where there is something to do with the ocean. He adores the sea after all! Boats, driving them, exploring the ocean, exploring the unknown, oh this TouDan will drink that shit up.

The games that come to mind are Assassin’s Creed: III, Black Flag, Syndicate, Origins, Odyssey, and Valhalla. Why? Most of them deal with exploring new lands and some of them deal with piloting ships! III, Black Flag, Odyssey, Origins, Valhalla to be more specific. Syndicate has guns and classy fashion. A little too much for Mutsunokami but he loves playing with the guns in the game - they are very similar in make to his own after all. he also rly likes the sea shanties in odyssey because i rly like them too

If Mutsunokami wants to relax and not play Assassin’s Creed where he goes around stabbing everything that moves, he will play Subnautica or Abzu or Journey to relax. Maybe even Animal Crossing! He loves the cute little animals but I personally think that games where he can just explore the world and meet new people and learn lore just make him happy the most.

Games MuMu would never play are horror games or anything with spiders in them. So Bayonetta and Devil May Cry are out. He loves the idea of gun-toting protagonists but nope, nope. Spiders? Bye fam.

Now that I think about it, he would just be Blathers. He can play Animal Crossing but Gods help him the minute he sees a spider in that damn game. “I THOUGHT THIS WAS A PEACEFUL GAME, WHY ARE THE SPIDERS TRYING TO KILL YOU” cue controller thrown at the television.

Oh MuMu adores party games! Can’t play Smash Bros or Mario Kart for shit. Watch him pay too much attention to the background and yeet himself off of the stage because he saw something shiny. He can kinda play though, but again he gets distracted the most. Buuut ask him to play Mario Party with the rest of the swords and damn right he will play!

Can and will make video games turn into a drinking game. MuMu adores competitive gaming with the rest of the citadel. Will start taking bets on who is gonna win and lose, and sure he may be a pouty loser but he’ll be fiine. But damn right he’ll yeet a tantou to ensure his win. No he won’t he’s not that cruel.

Mutsunokami also adores rhythm games! Taiko no Tatsujin because of Don-chan and the idea of playing with a lil taiko drum as a controller. He’s very much into music after all. There are times when he stops playing a game to just listen to the music and take it all in!

A guilty pleasure game he plays is probably Ghost of Tsushima. No he’s not checking out Jin’s ass whenever they go to a hot spring, what are you talking about? MuMu enjoys it because sometimes just going back to your roots and stabbing a ho is just what you need. dear khotun khan, eat shit

Aizen Kunitoshi

Aizen is also super big on rhythm games. As said above with Mutsunokami, Taiko no Tatsujin will be a favorite of his. He has a secret collection of Don-chan merch, no one is stopping him damn it. Just fucking tRY and take away his precious Don-chan(s). The only ones that can touch his prized collection are the rest of the Rai swords, other peeps he is close to, and maybe you if you two are close/you ask nicely. Get him some Don-chan pajamas and he’ll cry.

Aizen is also pretty good at fighting games, Street Fighter coming to mind because he adores over the top bullshit and the colors! The colors! He mains Ryu though, but he’s more than willing to try new characters!

He’s also pretty competitive at times, so he would adore playing fighting games with the rest of the swords at the citadel. Hotarumaru and he are always playing Smash Bros or Mario Kart, which ends up with a lot of broken controllers. Hotaru has been slightly banned from planning highly competitive gameplay though.

Other games that I know Aizen will be into will be Animal Crossing when he wants to relax. He loves the little yearly festivals and events in the games and it kinda mirrors how life works in the world. Of course he adores Digby and Isabelle, and has threatened Tom Nook with Hotarumaru before. “Don’t you cheat me you stupid tanuki, don’t make me get my brother in here.”

Games that Aizen cannot play are puzzle games. He doesn’t mind them, he just finds them really boring. He watches Akashi play them sometimes but even then, Akashi will conk the hell out. If you play them and have Aizen on your lap watching, Aizen will be amazed at how you are so good at them!

Aizen cannot deal with horror games or sad emotional games. He’s pretty emotional himself and will need a lot of hugs after. He will refuse to play Brothers: A Tale of Two Sons as they remind him of Hotarumaru and himself a lil too much. Horror games is because he’s too scared to. Hotarumaru doesn’t mind them, he likes playing them while Aizen and Akashi cling on to each other and scream in terror.

Aizen also loves games that not only have great music but the visuals and colors just catch his eye. Katamari Damacy comes to mind and he loves the main character a lot. The music! The colors! Ohh man its the best.

A guilty pleasure game he would love is the monster catching genre, Pokemon is an idea but he also loves Yokai Watch. Yokai Watch feels a lil more closer to home, plus Yokai Watch had a crossover with Taiko no Tatsujin! He immediately wasted no time and effort to try and recruit Don-chan. iM STILL TRYING TO GET DON-CHAN ON MY TEAM U LIL SHIt but also im rly biased towards yokai watch and digimon

This lil guy will also love collecting plushies of any characters of the games he plays! Don-chan is his first choice of course but catch him and Hotarumaru in a little cuddle puddle with 70 other plushies from various games!

Most of all, Aizen loves games where he can play with others! Friends, family, you! It doesn’t matter to him! He’ll drag you from your office to relax and just cheer anyone up with something fun! “Come play with me! You promised after all, master! I’ve found a rEALLY cool and fun game to play together with Hotaru!” bless him he’s trying his best

Atsushi Toushirou

Like Aizen, Atsushi will mostly enjoy multiplayer games because of his multitudes of brothers, younger and older. He’ll pick out games like Mario Party, Mario Kart, classics for sure. But then there’s games like Wario Ware or Smash Bros. He wants to play games with as many people as possible! He loves it when he can play with you and his brothers!

If Atsushi wants to play something more solo, he will play something along the lines of Cooking Mama. Houchou got him addicted to it gee i wonder why Houchou loves the game so much but Atsushi just loves the dishes that he can prepare and it almost feels like he can cook! He once tried to follow exactly what Cooking Mama did in the game for cooking once uh...it did not end up. But none the less, he loves the colors and the music of Cooking Mama!

He is also a big ol fan of life simulation games, Animal Crossing being his favorite. Again he and his siblings can all play together and the calm atmosphere almost lulls him to a peaceful sort of sleep that he adores the most. He loves the relaxing vibe and sometimes wishes to live there, wherever the hell these guys live.

Next to Yagen, I think Atsushi will lowkey adore horror games. Yagen does it just to get a rise out of the rest of his siblings and Atsushi is kind of the same. Sure Yagen finds the most gorey and atmospheric based horror to scare the crap outta his siblings, Atsushi will probably play the more jumpscare based horror games just to get a scare outta them too! What good is a horror game if you’re not scared as well??? Damn right he’ll wait until it’s night time to play these games!

Atsushi also does love RPG games! Star Ocean, Final Fantasy, Legend of Zelda, come to mind first. He just loves going on big adventures! Exploring new worlds, meeting new people, learning new things! Bonus points if the game has a really emotional story, catch him and his brothers crying about whatever happens on screen.

Atsushi has a secret fondness for rather childish games. Pokemon, Yokai Watch, so on and so forth. YEs he’s trying his best to be mature and stuff, supporting you his saniwa and all, but sometimes he just wants to be himself and have fun! He has a few mascot plushies from his brothers too, shhh.

Atsushi is also terrifyingly amazing at turn-based strategy games. Mario + Rabbids being a favorite because of the colors and overall fun atmosphere. Fire Emblem is a close second. He knows exactly how to keep his units and characters alive, what upgrades to give them, so on and so forth. “General! Come look at what I did in my game! Wouldn’t it be cool if we could also do something like this?!” he says that as Rabbid Luigi yeets himself off of normal Mario and soars through the air like a bird, landing gracefully without hurting himself. Atsushi no.

He’s the most likely of the TouDans to get into the indie gaming scene, looking at new and upcoming content creators to see what they make! He wants to support them as much as he can!

He’s also one of the more responsible of the TouDans in terms of games. Others will start buying them on a whim but Atsu knows there’s a budget to be had! He isn’t as money crunching as Hakata or anything but he knows his damn limits!

Another game genre he’s secretly into are visual novels. He loves the budding relationships between characters, romantic or not, he loves seeing where they end up! It’s like he’s growing with them!

#touken ranbu #touken danshi #touken ranbu x reader #touken ranbu imagine #tkrb #tkrb x reader #tkrb imagine #mutsunokami yoshiyuki #mutsunokami yoshiyuki x reader #mutsunokami yoshiyuki imagine #my writing #aizen kunitoshi #aizen kunitoshi x reader #aizen kunitoshi imagine #atsushi toushirou #atsushi toushirou x reader #atsushi toushirou imagine #https://toukenramblings.tumblr.com/tagged/Chaotic%20Citadel%20Correspondences #Chaotic Citadel Correspondences

18 notes · View notes

rottmntquotes · 4 years

Text

Watching Over

He could sense it, his family's eyeing of their newest human friend. Even though they were nearly two rooftops away, he could tell that they were staring down the kind, burly kid. From their position, Mikey could tell that his human brother and sister were waiting between his brothers- Casey being placed between Raph and Leo, whilst April was just in front of Donnie, and exactly a foot and three quarters away from Leo. Calm looks of distrust came from Leo, April, and Donnie. From Raph and Casey came obvious sneers, and their hands clenched up in their typical fashion that only happened when they were feeling great amounts of distress.

"You're a really nice guy, Andy. I just wish there were more humans like you. Humans that are willing to take a chance on mutants like me." A big smile graced Mikey's features, and a light blush of happiness spread across his beak. "My family doesn't think you're as great as I describe you to be, but they just haven't gotten to know you."

"That's certainly the truth." Andy commented, petting Mikey's head affectionately. "I can be pretty great."

"Har-har, you're starting to sound like Raphie." Mikey snickered, swatting Andy's hand away, only for it to return. A happy squeal escaped Mikey's mouth, and he grabbed Andy's hand, shaking it around before letting it go. "And you act like Leo!"

"I do? Well, that means all I have to do is be as intelligent as Donatello, as compassionate as April, and as energetic as Casey Jones!" Andy finished his speech by lifting Mikey into the air with little struggle, roaring loudly and shaking Mikey around. "I have ya now, ya little nut!"

"Nooooo! Lemme go! I'm gonna throw up on you!" Mikey laughed, squealing once more as he was set down. Seconds later, Andy threw an arm around Mikey's shoulders, pulling Mikey into a close side hug. "Wow, I knew you were a hugger, but I didn't expect you to be as huggy as me!"

"Uh... huggy?"

"Yeah! Huggy! You hug a lot!"

"I guess so. And if ya want, I can give ya a little smooch too."

"I'm flattered, but I already have a love."

"Who?"

"Mr. Teddy."

"Oy." Mikey smiled widely for what seemed like the thousandth time that night, allowing Andy to pick him up once more. "You are so light."

"Moi? Light? But, I'm not vinaigrette!" Mikey gasped, slapping his hands on both of his cheeks. In a greatly theatrical move, Mikey leaned back, a wonderful feat considering how he had a giant shell on his back. "I cannot be spread along a salad!"

"Well, you could, but it would take a lot of lettuce." Andy hummed.

"Big lettuce." Mikey added, earning a nod from his friend. Nearby, Mikey could sense how tense his family had become. Raph and Casey were on the edge of the rooftop, pretty much silently begging Leo for permission to skin Andy. Speaking of the blue clad turtle, Leo was currently shooting daggers into the back of Andy's head, a hiss being suppressed as to not give away the group's position. Close by, April and Donnie were watching Andy's every move carefully, waiting for the exact moment when they could have a decent excuse to attack.

"Berry big lettuce." Andy chuckled, sticking out his tongue playfully. "I wonder, would you make tasty lettuce?"

And, there it was.

"GET YOUR DIRTY HANDS OFF MY LITTLE BROTHER!" Casey's scream resonated throughout the streets, and Andy yelped in fear, dropping Mikey onto the ground by accident. This, in turn, aroused a collective shout from the rest of the Hamato-O'Neil-Jones family, and they violently ganged up on Andy. Unsurprisingly, Andy raced away screaming, his arms and body decorated in bruises and nicks. "Are you okay little bro?"

"I'm. Fine." Mikey huffed, wiping himself down. "I am fine, I was fine, and I would be even more fine if you hadn't overreacted!"

"Uh, overreacted? Pipsqueak, we protected you!" Raph rebuffed, lightly punching Mikey's shoulder.

"From what, exactly?" Mikey asked. When no one replied, Mikey rolled his eyes, turning his attention to Leo. "Was this your idea, mom?"

"...Maybe..." Leo admitted, glancing around silently.

"Yeah? Well then maybe I'll keep in touch with Andy however the fuck long I want." Mikey's statement received an indignant squawk of shock from Leo, and stifled snickers from everyone else. With a glare from Leo, the others silenced themselves, and the once tense atmosphere returned. "Uh-huh. I'm going back to the lair."

"Uh... but... w-well, oh yeah?! Guess what! You're grounded for the rest of your life!" Leo shouted, absolutely appalled by his brother's crude attempt at flipping him the bird. "YOU'RE GROUNDED IN THE AFTERLIFE TOO!"

"Good to know mommy!"

"Agh! I can't believe him! So ungrateful! He gets it from you, Raph!"

"Me?! He gets it from Casey!"

"What?! He hangs out with Donnie the most!"

"I barely pay him any attention! How am I supposed to be responsible for-"

"They all have a point, Leo. There's one truth in all of this chaos." April placed her hands on her hips calmly.

"And that would be?"

"You're his mom."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

*So, this got a decent amount of attention on the other platforms I posted it on, and I decided that I might as well post it here and see how it goes. This was mainly created for the 2k12 verse, but I guess it could be viewed in the ‘03 verse(?)

#TMNT #TMNT 2k12 #TMNT 2012 #Hope You Enjoyed!#This Was Fun To Write #TMNT 2003 #I Guess #I Dunno

25 notes · View notes

feingeister · 5 years

Note

Rank these iconic Druck objects in the order of how emotional they make you: panini maker, David's red valve, Matteo's indiaca ball, Hanna's HONAS AND JANNA sign, Mia's follow your heart but take your brain with you note, Victoria covering brain with pussy, Amira's tent, sweet potatoes, FISCH HALLE sign, Kiki's glasses, Omar's notebook of raps for Mohammed. Be as detailed as you wish.

first of all, i’m adding a bonus item and putting it on top of the list, because it’s the best.

hans’ fish vase:

the unquestionable winner. i will not elaborate, but just the fact hans set up this whole thing IN MATTEO’S ROOM just to be a good guru... iconic and i love him.

omar’s notebook: this would have been number one if it wasn’t for my bonus item. rapping about your bro is just the no homo version of writing poems about him. i’m not one for crackships but omar and mohammed had something special.

david’s red valve: one unlikely thing that david and matteo have in common is that they pay special attention to the beautiful but small things around them. for matteo it’s mostly plants and cute guys and for david it’s weird shit like that valve. people always assumed the valve would be plot relevant and there was no other reason for david to pick it up, but i always thought it was an amazing little gesture to show us more about him and it didn’t need any further conclusion. david is just an artist and he likes to collect things. also: we have that one bts pic were matteo looks at the valve just in the same way he looks at plants and it makes me go 💞 💞 💞

what can i say. he’s a feingeist 🥰

matteo’s indiaca ball: same reasoning here. it’s a such a peculiar little character detail, just like his pen. matteo likes to keep busy with little games like that and it’s such a randomly human thing, i loved seeing that on screen.

HONAS AND JANNA: i have a good friend named janna and the sign is cute so here we go

amira’s tent: the emotion i feel for this one is mostly frustration and disappointment bc it symbolizes how unfinished amiras storyline was in her own season. we never got to see the glorious moment where she decided to keep the tent instead of selling it. also, i’m worried bc that tent looks really, really shitty. is it even spider proof?

victoria’s pussy quote: a very gay thing to do and it instantly made her very likeable. imagine renting a room only for a few months and putting that much energy into pouring your whole personality into that room. so far i don’t really have a connection to her, but i think i could really like her, she seems to be a whole lotta person.

mia’s quote: it’s very noora but it’s also very mia, so i like that they didn’t just copy the standard “everyone is fighting a battle you know nothing about” quote. it’s interesting how noora’s quote is what she needs to learn to really live by, she needs to be more understanding of people and their struggles. for mia, her quote is her struggle and she never really gets rid of it. it suits how flawed she is and how complicated her relationship with alex was. after all, she never really found a way to follow her heart and take her brain with her, because sometimes they want to go in different directions.

panini maker: i cannot believe matteo posted a sandwich maker on instagram instead of texting david “hey, don’t worry, i’m still thinking about you and i like you so much, i just need time” like a normal person. i hate him.

kiki’s glasses: finally some well-deserved character with glasses representation. and they’re symbolic for kiki accepting herself and not valuing others opinions of her over everything else. kiki for president.

sweet potatoes: don’t get me wrong, the janna scene is VERY cute and its one of my favorites, but i hate sweet potatoes fkjhfjkh

FISCH HALLE: i legit don’t even remember this 😔

#ask #druck #why was this so much fun djkhdkkjsh

54 notes · View notes

some-cookie-crumbz · 4 years

Note

If it isn't too much to ask for a fic request, "Wanna bet?"/"Please stay here"/"This is the stupidest plan you ever had, of course I'm in" as possible sentence prompts with Kamijirou? Either of them is fine. Sorry if it is a bothersome request, and thank you in advance even for reading this :)

How about I go one step further and do all three??? Because I have no self-control and I had ideas for all three of these!

And please don’t ever think making a request is bothersome to me! I love when people request fics from me! x3

Each fic will have a little bream between them to indicate when I switched prompts, as well.

"Wanna bet?" he growled lowly, slapping a hand down on the table in an uncharacteristic display of aggression. If this wasn't the same guy she'd seen electrocute himself down to the IQ of a potato on multiple occasions, she might have been intimidated.

Key word being 'might'.

As it stood, though, she merely smirked and nudged the small dish of stemmed cherries closer to him. "If you're ready to piss away money, sure thing," she goaded, cocking her head to the side.

"How much we talkin'?" he asked suspiciously.

"If you can actually do the whole bowl, I'll fork up 4,000 yen. If you can't, then you pay up 4,000. Sound fair?" she suggested. He regarded her for a second before nodding and pulling the bowl closer to himself.

It was at that moment, as if sensing something was going on, a familiar face peered around the corner to stare at them. "Kaminari, Jirou, what's up?" he asked, a grin turning up on his lips.

"Not now, Sero. There's a matter of pride on the line!" Kaminari snapped, holding one hand up as he picked a cherry from the bowl and ate it.

Sero's brow furrowed as he looked from her to the other boy. "Kaminari claims he's a phenomenal kisser. I call bull. And so, to prove his merit, he has to tie the stems on all the cherries in that bowl into knots," she explained with a shrug, crossing her arms over her chest.

Sero blinked then burst out laughing. "Oh, what? Hold up, don't start! We gotta get the others involved in this!" he said excitedly while fishing out his phone. Jirou gave him an exasperated look before rolling her eyes and slumping back in her seat.

In a matter of ten minutes, the entirety of class 1-A was clamored in the commons room adjacent the dining area. Uraraka was poised on Midoriya's shoulders, the two sporting matching bookie visors, with her calling out bets and him carrying a large cardboard box for the others to dump their wagers into. Part of Jirou wondered why the brunette wasn't using her own Quirk to just float above the others and take their bets, but she wasn't curious enough to actually bother with asking. Yaomomo was walking with the pair, a clipboard in hand as she took down the wagers from the other students. Everyone was making such a fuss - like usual - but a small part of her couldn't help but be curious to see how it would all go down.

Across from her, Kirishima and Sero were giving a "pep talk" of sorts to Kaminari. The red-headed student was rubbing his shoulders as if he was about to step into a boxing ring or something. "You got this, dude," he whispered softly.

Sero was kneeling close, one hand on the table. "Just remember who you are, bro. You're freakin' Chargebolt! Those cherries can't take you down! No one can take you down!"

Iida cleared his throat loudly as he set a new bowl of cherries as well as a second empty bowl in front of the blonde male. "Has everybody had sufficient time to make their wagers and prepare for the test?" he called out.

"Yup!" Uraraka called back happily, swiping the collection from Midoriya and jingling it in the air proudly.

He nodded. "Very good! Yaoyorozu, what is the final ranking total and common bets?" he asked as the other student president came to his side.

She cleared her throat politely. "The total amount I counted being wagered came out to a total of 32,127 yen, give or take some coin pieces Of the 20 betters, the two polar opposites are, obviously, Kaminari and Jirou themselves; Kaminari set that he can tie all the stems, and Jirou wagering that he cannot. Of the remaining 18 betters, 11 believe that Kaminari will be unable to successfully knot less than 25, and the remaining seven wager he will succeed with only between 25 and 50," she explained.

Kamimari gawked at them for a moment. "Wait, what? None of you think I can actually do this?" he wailed, whipping around to cast a scandalized look at the now sheepish duo that had been encouraging him just seconds before.

Jirou giggles to herself. "Oh, wow, even your boys don't have your back. That's gotta sting," she whistled lowly.

"Whatever. I'm not going to lose, so I guess I'll just be taking home a fat stack of cash tonight," he huffed.

Iida nodded before addressing everyone again. "Excellent! Uraraka, Midoriya, I trust the two of you with counting the funds to assure the amount Yaoyorozu calculated is accounted for before we name the winner!" he instructed, receiving a small salute from the pair. "Now, the rules are simple! Kaminari shall eat a total of fifty cherries and then must tie their remaining stems into a knot. Upon completion of tying, he must hold the stem up for ua to verify that the knot is, in fact, tied. All knots that are properly tied shall be placed in the empty bowl and added to the tally. Whoever bet the closest to the amount he manages to tie, wins the total amount in the box. For Kaminari and Jirou themselves, the winner receives bragging rights for being correct. Are the rules understood?" he asked, looking between the pair curiously. Upon getting a nod from both, he brought his hand down. "Begin!"

Jirou felt smugly satisfied in her success as she watched him toss the first stem into his mouth, expression shifting drastically with his attempts, then she closed her eyes to await his inevitable surrender. There was just no way that Kaminari Denki, of all guys, had any kind of kiss game. This was the wholesome class pervert, the guy known for sparking off too many watts and leaving himself a total space case. There was just no way he could do something like-!

"One stem tied!" Yaomomo suddenly declared, causing her eyes to snap open, gawking in disbelief.

But there, sporting a smug grin and a perfectly tied cherry stem between two fingers, Kaminari sat. He held her gaze as he dropped the first one into the bowl, gleaming gold clashing with darkened violet. "Beginner's luck," she grit out.

"We'll see about that," he quipped back, still grinning, as he plucked up the next one.

It took a full hour of time, but by the time it was over, Jirou was left speechless.

“And the winner is… Kaminari!” Iida said, a bit of his surprise betraying him from the slight question in his tone as the other dropped the last little stem into the bowl.

“Aw, yeah! Our man!” Sero laughed, reaching to clap him on the back.

Instead, the other whipped around and pointed at him accusingly. “Liar! You didn’t think I could get even close to doing all fifty!” he barked.

Sero held his hands up and looked away sheepishly. “Aw, man, come on!”

“No, you come on!”

Jirou shook her head as she pushed up out of her seat. “Okay, okay. I’ll admit that I was wrong. Good job, Kaminari; you earned the money,” she said, walking over to offer him her hand. He blinked in surprise as he turned to face her before slowly taking her hand and shaking her.

Midoriya approached and offered the box, Uraraka still poised on his shoulders. “Here you go, Kaminari-Kun! We made sure all the money was in there and accounted for,” he said happily.

“Well, except for the security deposit fees. I kept that, for convenience sake,” Uraraka said, waving one hand evenly.

The green haired man sighed heavily and glanced up at her, clearly exhausted. “Uraraka-Chan,” he drawled out warningly.

“Deku-Kun, come on! It was just the loose coins! I let him keep all the actual, important paper stuff!” she whined in response. When he only continued to stare up at her like a scolding parent, she grumbled and rummaged into her pockets, leaning over to drop the coins back into the little slit in the box.

Todoroki appeared behind them, clearing his throat. “If we’re done here, can we get back to studying? Midoriya, I still needed you assistance regarding the timeline for the History of Heroics class,” he said evenly. She could see the others already starting to file back out of the room,some heading to the elevators and others heading for the front door.

“Oh, sure thing, Todoroki-Kun! Congrats again, Kaminari-Kun!” he chuckled, waving with one hand before walking off again. As he did, Uraraka remained where she was and Iida joined the other three on their trek back to the elevators. She was never going to understand those four, she thought with another shake of her head, before perking up and looking around. Just as quickly as they’d all crashed the place, they were gone.

“Geez, not even gonna offer to help us clean up?” she mumbled sarcastically, moving to grab the bowls from the table. She paused when a few yen bills were held out towards her, Kaminari watching her with a surprising serious expression. She looked from his face to the money and then back again. “Kaminari?”

“Here, you can keep the money you put in,” he said, waving it a bit. “I’m not gonna give the others there’s back, out of principle now, but… It was always just about proving that I wasn’t lying with you. If the others hadn’t showed up, I wouldn’t have taken the money anyway.”

“So your ego is worth more than 4,000 yen, huh?” she teased, taking the money back regardless. “Well, thank you. And, just so you know, this didn’t really prove anything about kissing. Just that you can tie cherry stems with your mouth.”

He stared at her in disbelief before setting the box aside. “Well, do I have to show you, then?” he prompted.

She jumped, cheeks smudging with pink immediately. “W-What?” she squeaked.

“Show you that I can kiss? Should I do that to prove my point?” he asked, reaching out to cup the side of her face with one hand. She could feel her heart skip at the action and she closed her eyes tight, holding her breath in preparation. She felt a small puff of his breath against the cheek he wasn’t holding, the smell of cherries filling her senses, and then the soft, warm brush of lips…

Against her cheek.

Her eyes snapped open as he pulled back, hand still resting on her cheek. “W-What?” she breathed out shakily.

“I’m not gonna kiss a girl on the lips without her permission. That’s just gross and rude,” he said gently, starting to pull his hand away.

They both froze when his hand was pulled back. They both glanced down to see one of her earlobes had wrapped around his wrist, like a sneaky little serpent. She quickly looked back up at him. “W-Well, how about this, then? You just won a pretty nice chunk of change from the others, so why don’t we… Do something. Just you and I. And I can decide after that if I want to test your supposed skills for myself?” she suggested, forcing her voice to keep from wavering too much, trying to thrust as much of her usual aloof confidence into her words as possible.

His eyes lit up as bright as a shooting star and he grinned, wide and sincere and dazzling, before nodding enthusiastically. “It’s a date!”

////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

“Please stay here,” For a moment he wasn’t sure he actually heard anything, until there was a small tug at the back of his shirt. Her voice was a bit muffled by the decorative pillow her face was partially burrowed into, but when he peered over his shoulder he could see one eye half-lidded and fixed on him, gleaming like a precious stone. In that one visible eye, though, he could see the vulnerability she was laying bear for him. “Denki, please.”

He flushed a little bit at her using his first name, carefully closing his laptop. “Are you sure? It’s kinda risky, you know,” he mumbled worriedly, carefully adjusting his bum leg stretched out in front of him.

It had been a hectic couple of weeks for the students of UA, though that wasn’t really new. What was new was who, exactly, got involved in the whole rigamaroo.

Normally if something happened, there were a few select students that could be pointed to as the main culprits; Midoriya, Todoroki, Bakugo and Kirishima were the five most frequent offenders and the “frequent fuck-up fliers”, according to Aizawa-Sensei. That had been how their experiences started and even now, during their senior year, that hadn’t really changed much. Nine times out of ten, if something was happening that involved villains, breaking school rules, being exceptionally reckless or all of the above, at least one of them - Midoriya - had a hand in it. The big spectacle this time had involved rumblings of a human trafficking ring being set up somewhere downtown. And, as expected, Midoriya led the charge to take the place down, but his normal squad weren’t the other players this round. No, this time around, Kaminari had been adamant about going along to help and gotten repaid handsomely for his insistence to do the right thing.

Specifically in that he’d nearly gotten himself killed while protecting hostages as they escaped.

The damage had been amongst some of the worst he’d ever suffered in his time at UA; four full days unconscious as a side effect of a concussion, black eye, cracked rib and his left ankle got busted. When he’d come to in the hospital, he’d felt terrible from both the injuries and how his family had panicked over him. Once they had parted for the day and his classmates came in, there’d been a bit of teasing about him “pulling a Midoriya” from Sero and Kirishima, but he’d noticed how Jirou had hovered in the back of the room, posture guarded and usual playful demeanor completely gone. When the others left, she had lingered a little bit, sitting in silence but clutching his hand as if she’d drown without it. The whole experience reminded him why he didn’t normally pull stunts like the ones Midoriya did.

He had no idea how the other boy could handle the guilt from worrying others and the pain of the injuries like he did.

But that brought him back to the present, with her clutching the back of his shirt and studying him quietly, seemingly pondering over his question. They’d been dating for a little over a year but they hadn’t told their classmates. Part of it was because they were going lowkey about their relationship so as to avoid complicating things with their work study and school assignments. The other reason was because, for as much as they loved Mina, she was incredibly nosy. They’d watched how she had chased after Yaomomo when word got back that she had gone to coffee non-platonically with Kendou from class 3-B, frantic to get the latest in relationship tea. Or how, when it became public knowledge that Bakugo and Kirishima were a thing, she’d hounded them with so many invasive questions she’d left the explosive blonde as a flustered mess that could barely garble out a threat.

If they got caught together, there was the risk of Aizawa finding out, sure, but the scarier threat was Mina Ashido.

“Let’s risk it then. I want you to stay,” she said after a pregnant, thoughtful pause.

He took in a breath and nodded, moving to stand up carefully. “Okay. Let me just get changed and brush my teeth and stuff, okay? But I promise I’ll be right back, fast as can be,” he said, holding one hand up while tucking the laptop under his other arm.

She let out a small hum, pushing herself upright to presumably do the same while he was gone. He hobbled his way to the elevator, making sure to be careful of how much pressure he put down on his left. It was mostly healed at this point, so the doctor’s had cleared him to return to light duty with the instruction to keep it wrapped so he could walk. He plugged his laptop into the charger, made quick work of changing into his sleep clothes, grabbed his pillows and then went to brush his teeth. He brushed them twice, just to be safe.

When he returned to her room, he gave a little knock instead of just letting himself in. She opened the door and ushered him in quietly. “Do you still need to keep your foot elevated?” she asked, pointing at his pillows.

“Um, no, they’re for me to sleep with. I figured I’d take the floor,” he said, clearly confused.

She blinked before giggling and shaking her hair, running her fingers through her hair. She had started to let it grow out a little bit, so that it just grazed her shoulder blades. While he’s always thought she looked great with the shorter, framed bang style, he had to admit there was also an appeal to the slightly longer style, too. “You’re not… We can just share my bed. I mean, just sleep in the bed together,” she said, walking over to take his pillows and tossing them on the bed.

He tensed slightly. “Are… Are you sure?” he asked, holding his hands up.

She nodded, walking over to wrap her arms around his waist and rested her head against the upper half of his chest. Even though they were older, she hadn’t gotten as much of a height jump as she’d hoped. The top of her head still just barely reached his chin, but he kind of liked it. He gently wrapped his arms around her in turn, tilting his head down to gently kiss the top of her head. “I just… I need to know you’re here,” she breathed quietly, her voice catching slightly. His eyes widened for a moment before he tightened his grip on her a bit more.

“Let’s get some rest then,” he muttered softly. How could he tell her ‘no’, when he wanted that same comfort just as badly?

////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

“This is the stupidest plan you’ve ever had,” she said with an inhale, lips twisting into a huge grin, “so of course I’m in.”

His grin turned wide as he pulled the walkie-talkie in his hand back up to his mouth. “Exploding Eagle, this is Pika-Dude, over. Sinister Siren is on board. I repeat; Sinister Siren is on board,” he said over the line, his voice dead serious despite the smirk on his lips.

“You had a code name picked out for me already?” she asked with a quirked brow and small grin.

He pressed a hand to his chest and nodded. “But of course! I had a hunch you’d want in on this, once you found out about it,” he mused.

There was static on the walkie for a moment, before an familiar shout of “Just tell me what the fuck you’re going on about normally, you extra fuck!”

He rolled his eyes and shook his head. God, Bakugo just had to zap all of the fun out of everything, didn’t he? “Jirou’s on board. I’ll bring her with me to the meet-up spot; be there in ten,”

“Don’t tell me what the fuck to do!”

“See you guys in a bit!” Kirishima’s voice chimed in next, as chipper and giddy as ever.

UA was going to be hosting a huge event for the Hero Commision, and had decided to offer live entertainment. In hopes of buttering the commision up after the many scandals they’d been involved in over the last year - as well as to save on money for a real, professional band - they had decided to allow the students to try out for the role of entertainment for the night. By all technicality, the band Jirou had put together with herself, Kaminari, Tokoyami and Yaomomo should have been the ones to take the crown, but then Monoma from 1-B had to go and mess things up.

They hadn’t caught him in the act, but they had gleaned from his goading later that he’d rigged the results so that a band of 1-B students got selected instead. And, not to be outdone through dishonest means, he and Bakugo had started plotting. Kirishima was eager to jump in to help, but they had yet to approach Yaomomo and Tokoyami. They had the distinct feeling that the duo wouldn’t be keen on playing to get even.

He had known, however, that Jirou would see the practicality in some practical jokes. If the class 1-B students wanted to play dirty, then so would they.

As they slipped out the front door, she looked at him curiously. “Aren’t you worried about what Aizawa-Sensei will say if we get caught?” she pointed out.

“If I worried about what Aizawa-Sensei would do if he found out about half of the things I’ve done, I wouldn’t live,” he laughed. A small part of him was still impressed that their teacher hadn’t found out about the Beast Man incident, but he also wasn’t about to look a gift horse in the mouth. “And don’t worry; if he finds out, I’ll take the heat for it. I’ll make sure you live, so you can fight another day.”

She snorted and gently bopped his hip with hers as they walked. “Such a noble sacrifice from a valiant hero,” she teased.

“I try,” he grinned, rubbing the back of his neck meekly.

#crumbles grumbles #KamiJirou #my fics #Kaminari would be an extremely good boi who is mindful of boundaries #He is a perv but he is respectful about it #I also accidentally wrote him as kinda smooth??#Whoops

8 notes · View notes

literature-islit · 4 years

Text

David Foster Wallace - Mr Squishy (2000)

Yes, this is a post about another short story. Sorry, I guess I just read a lot of them or something. I guess I retract what I said in a previous post, that they are unsexy and unappealing to read. They’re totally okay. You should read more. And, as usual, there’s a bit of a back story as to how I got to this one...

So, I’ve considered Dave Eggers to be a great writer ever since I read his 2013 novel The Circle (now a major motion picture starring Emma Watson) which portrays the dystopian perils of a Facebook-like company urging everyone towards maximum disclosure.

what’s on ur mind? Everyone would love to know haha. Keep refreshing the page for more likes and shares and dopamine hits! Don't be left out! Tell everyone what you are thinking - all the time! Help us help you! We just want you to connect....

The Circle is a great book. I was like - man, I’ve got to read more writing by this man. But, the rest of his writing?

I’ll let everyone battle it out on GoodReads. Some quotes:

it's *so cool* to be post-dave-eggers, and talk about how you didn't really like this book all that much, and it's even cooler to totally hate this book.

I was reading this book and around page 237 (or was it 327?), I figured it out- he's talking to ME. He wrote this book for me. Dave Eggers looked into the future and saw that I would want to read a self-referential, self-satisfying memoir.

I disliked so very much about this book.

The reviews above are talking about his debut novel, A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius, which I... don’t have much to say about. There were good bits. There were incredibly tedious bits.

I would rate it a solid 3/5

It being pitched as a non-fiction memoir, then using lots of narrative elements that are mostly associated with fiction kind of confused me. I was like - ok, there’s no way this guy actually used his inheritance money to launch a real life street press magazine, and then convinced an actor to fake his own death just for the publicity.

But he did.

things u cannot do with social media

And anyway, long story short, kind of fascinated by the idea that in the 90s, at a time before media conglomerates had acquired almost all small press and advertising revenue was at all time lows, and even getting people interested in actually paying money to hold a magazine in their hands and read it was probably the most major barrier to entry to the market; the idea that in the 90s it was fair game and a bunch of college kids could just make a magazine and print it and kind of guerrilla their way into that market, as some kind of genuinely authentic counterculture... wow. I knew I had to try to find out a little more about these types of magazines that Dave Eggers curated and published.

The 90s

Which brings me to The Best of McSweeney’s, a compilation of some of the best content to be published during the run of McSweeney’s which was yet another magazine thing published and curated and etc by Dave Eggers.

The whole book is worth a read.

And the stand-out story, Mr Squishy by David Foster Wallace.

I’m conflicted on how I approach David Foster Wallace’s legacy because he does have a history of abusive treatment towards women, yet on the whole I feel like his writing is revolutionary and unique, and acts to undermine the dominant paradigm instead of reinforce its ideology. My ambivalence is shared by Electric Lit’s 20 Authors I Don’t Have to Read Because I’ve Dated Men for 16 Years: (”A list like this wouldn’t be complete without DFW, but at the same time his inclusion feels disingenuous, because when it comes to Wallace, I am the literary bro cornering you at a party to ask if you’ve read him and why not. I love DFW’s work in the same over-personal obsessive way this list is meant to mock. Wallace is also an author whose body of work defies the kind of easy summary that can be gleaned from listening to a dude talk at a party about his favorite writer, or applied independent of actual engagement with the writing...”)

BBC Culture considers his magnum opus Infinite Jest to be a cult book that has lost its cool.

But, if that’s the case, how do you explain Mira Gonzales (in a defiant act of anarchy that would appall even the least-conservative librarian) constructing a pipe out of the book to smoke weed from, BBC? How do you explain that?

Removed from the context of this preceding discussion, however, I regard Mr Squishy as a work of art. 63 pages of DFW’s signature dense prose (the kind of prose that catches you slipping; this is a story to read with your morning coffee, not just before you hit the hay at night) about a marketing focus group for a new Mr Squishy snack, a story that highlights the manipulations of advertising, marketing groups’ ultimate impotence in the face of a brand that knows the kinds of conclusions it wants to have proved, and the way world wide web technology loomed, casting its great shadow over the particular slice of history Wallace is writing in, threatening to rupture the security of the jobs around which people like marketing facilitator Schmidt have based their entire lives.

This is a story of many layers.

Many people have already written much better on this story than I could ever dream of.

Amazing blog interpretation highlighting the multi-layered nature of the narrative (did I mention the narrative has layers?)

570 word sentence highlighted and dissected for its brilliance (don’t let something so ominous as a 570 word sentence deter you, pls)

How are you gonna get yourself a copy of this story to absorb its brilliance, to appreciate the way it delves deeper inside a fake character’s head than other writers make it seem possible to go? I don’t know. I’m sure there’s a PDF flying about on the internet somewhere. You can borrow The Best of McSweeney’s from any library in South Australia. The story also, I believe, can be read in DFW’s short story collection Oblivion. However you find it is not important. What’s important is that you read it. This man does things with words you never knew were possible!

And, yes, I bragged on Instagram about having started to read DFW’s epic Infinite Jest. (Having re-read this blog post I feel the need to clarify that the picture above is not me, nor my hand; I found it on the internet). That was two years ago, and I am still about halfway through the 1079 page tome. It takes time, okay. Time and patience. I am in the (elongated) process of reading it, and anticipate I will finish it soon...

2 notes · View notes

tombugg92 · 4 years

Text

Wiley - Godfather III

I thought I should start this by giving a short intro to Wiley. Widely accredited by fans and artists as a pioneer of the Grime scene, it would be impossible to overstate the impact he’s made in Grime, in fact it would be impossible to overstate the importance that he’s made to UK music in general. Starting off as a member of Pay As U Go Wiley first began his life in UK Garage, eventually as Pay As U Go disbanded Wiley went on to form Roll Deep, containing Dizzee Rascal, Tinchy Stryder and many more. This was where we really started to hear an evolution of the UK Garage sound and things started to sound more like the Grime that we came to know and love. It’s certainly not just Wiley who thinks he’s the “Godfather,” not many in the scene would argue that, but he’s certainly not going to let you forget it.

A lot of newer fans were put off with last years altercations with just about anyone who makes any music, after Wiley was widely publicised to have labelled Drake as a “pagan,” and Ed Sheeran as a “culture vulture,” before taking a much more direct approach with Stormzy, firstly sending very direct tweets on Twitter before the pair released a few tracks which must have been absolutely shocking if you hadn’t grown up watching Lord of the Mics. I think people who have been listening to the scene since the Rinse FM days will have attributed this behaviour as just clever marketing, I know I was expecting this album long before it came. This marketing is tried and tested and it works, it was certainly successful for Wiley, exposing himself to a whole host of people who’s entry point to this whole genre was Stormzy. I heard people talking about the tracks everywhere, at work, in bars, in fact I even got into an argument with my barber over who we thought took each round (word of warning kids, don’t start an argument with your barber).

Then the dust seemed to settle slowly, I wasn’t hearing the arguments anymore and Stormzy had disappeared from Social Media altogether, but there was still no album from Wiley? I was hearing that Wiley was all over the capital, recording verses with MC’s from just about everyone involved in the scene, but there was nothing solid as to why. I’ve heard that it was something to do with labels telling Wiley he had to wait before releasing the record on his own label, but again nothing concrete. I saw something on Instagram that it was going to come out 1st of January, but at this point Wiley was posting a story or a tweet once a minute so I was hardly surprised when this date came and went. Finally in June, nearly 5 months had passed since Wiley’s last send for Stormzy, we had an album. Even then it wasn’t easy! It dropped first on Apple Music before making everyone on Spotify wait a little longer. I actually signed up for Apple Music when I already had Spotify because I couldn’t wait one extra day for it to come out, so if anyone knows how to contact Wiley I’d like to invoice him for that pointless subscription fee.

So finally it was here! I was really busy at the time and I don’t like to listen to a record before I can give it my full attention so I actually saw the track-list before I even had a listen, and at first was amazed by the lack of features, where had all those verses that Wiley had been collecting suddenly gone?! Then I saw a tweet from Big Zuu saying that he’d featured on on a track but had not been credited (Track 20 - West London, if you’re wondering) and I thought “Wow, that’s just so Wiley.” A couple of days later though Wiley himself released a list of all the features on the album, and when I saw that I had to listen straight away. There’s some huge huge names on that list, both established legends in the scene like D Double, Jammer and Footsie, to what I think of as the new breed of people that will carry the genre even further like Big Zuu and Capo Lee, and some people who I won’t lie I’ve never heard of. It seems like Wiley is determined to use his last record to make sure that the wheels of this genre are still spinning.

So onto how the record sounds. Normally I like to do a bit of a breakdown of every track, it allows me to really work out any tracks I really enjoy or any that I think could be left out, but I’m not going to be doing that right here. Purely because this record is incredibly long and I really didn’t fancy writing my thoughts when it comes to 22 separate tracks, I’m not exaggerating either it really is 22 tracks long! Obviously the whole thing does have a very Grime feel to it. Just the lengths of the tracks themselves make me think of the old days of Grime. With an average track length of less than 3 minutes it gives the whole thing a really fast paced feeling, comparable to the way that Wiley has always flung bars at us at a million miles an hour, his final album flings tracks at us with comparable speed.

The first listen I felt almost overloaded. With so many features that I did find myself thinking “Was that so and so?” so much that I missed just about every punchline and barely even recognised the productions. So I had to go back a few times and listen all over again, although that’s definitely not a chore! Production wise it’s much as you’d expect, very Grimey and very heavy in the early tracks which leaves me feeling that Wiley really is cementing that flag in the scene before he departs. Don’t make any mistakes at all though because this is not a record in which all tracks sound the same, Wiley keeps even the Grimiest tracks sounding varied by switching up his rhyme flows often and the hooks change between each track. Production wise my favourite track would have to be family which features Flirta D, Footsie and Goldie1. I think the track is produced by Mr Virgo and for me it brings a really fresh sound which can often be quite difficult when producing a genre which is nearly 18 years old now.

Lyrically Wiley comes just as hard as he always has. He comes out swinging on Intro letting us know exactly what he thinks of his role in the scene saying “I’ll be the father bro, you can be the son of it.” As a huge fan of wordplay I also feel like I’ve got to shout out the London scheme in Intro also, which end with a punchline saying “They’ll pull up to the junction, jump out and Clapham.” Had me screwing up my face like I was in 2004 all over again. The bars continue from Wiley as the record goes on, always following the similar theme with Wiley reminding us exactly who we should thank for this whole genre. In terms of features for me it’s Tempa T that absolutely steals the show, probably because I don’t think I’ve heard from him for so long. But having just written that I’m having so many more ideas, J2K is absolutely incredible on Double Dragon and Manga Saint Hilare shines on Amsterdam alongside Breeze, Scratchy and Wiley. Yes you did read that last sentence correctly, it’s basically a Roll Deep reunion on that track.

My only concern with the new album coming out would be that it wouldn’t have any flow. Lately Wiley seems to struggle to focus on one topic, in his interviews with Zeze Millz and Poet for Filthy Fellas I didn’t really know what he was talking about more often than not and I was concerned that lack of cohesiveness would translate into the record. My concerns were unfounded though and, like I’ve said earlier it’s very much a Grime showcase in the early tracks. This does get mixed up as we go continue through though, Rinse for example uses a production that Donae’o once released to give a more UK Funky feel. I also love the final track Press Record, which slows everything right down and moves as far away from Grime as it’s possible to go, but lets us really feel like Wiley is talking to us. I also find it quite emotional because it makes me feel like Wiley is actually serious that this is going to be his last album, and I just don’t even want to begin to imagine this scene without him.

Think what you like of him, and he’s certainly split opinions over the past few months, you simply cannot overstate the impact he’s made. And if you were doubting this statement, this final effort will make sure you rethink that. It’s quite amazing that there are 22 tracks and I genuinely cannot think of a single one that could be taken off this record, a truly sublime effort from the true Godfather. Thank-you Wiley.

#wiley #godfather3 #grime #albumreview

4 notes · View notes

smitten--kitten · 5 years

Text

Mafia!Seunghyub AU

Your alarm blaring you wake up disgruntled. Annoyed and close to rolling back over for a snooze before realizing you were close to being behind schedule. The covers being thrown off and you quickly heading to the shower to wake yourself up as quickly as possible. You really shouldn’t have gone out last night, but it really wasn’t something you do often. And it was a bachelorette party, so could anyone really blame you? If you asked, they would probably say no. But with you scurrying you grab a coffee and a bagel walking the last couple blocks until you got to work. With your show slipping off from random people bumping you and stepping on your heels you had it slip off. Bagel in your mouth and coffee set on the ground you bend down to fix your shoe. Jumping slightly when the loud bang of the door across the street was slammed out. You could hear an argument but the words certainly were not clear. Someone throws a man out the door and walking off the other direction. The other man turning towards the door again and seeing your face. Looking for a few seconds before he went back in, the door locking behind him. Your mind clearing again you pick up your coffee and get back to all the errands and tasks you needed to do for the day.

You life continuing as usual. Your friend sending the photos taken at the wedding. Sighing, you realized how beautiful it was. And it really was something you would have loved to have gone to, but you didn’t have the money to attend a destination wedding. Your alarm ticking you realized it was break time. Grabbing your packed lunch you looked out the window. Luckily unlike yesterday, the weather seemed to be clear. But your attention was soon elsewhere. The little Italian place across the street had a party it seems. People coming out the street wasn’t as quiet. A man walking out holding the door very into the conversation he was having. His face turning towards the street. The two of the men waiting for their driver, you recognize him. The handsome what you now assume was a guard of sorts. Or maybe a bouncer. You couldn’t be sure. but at least he shouldn’t be able to catch you staring, right? You focus on your lunch you don’t notice his eyes shift. Taking in your face before recognizing you himself. You look back up; you see the two men getting into their car. Oddly, you felt disappointed.

Working with taxes and accounting you had to go out often. But it was good to not be stuck behind a desk all the time. But after time passed you realized you cannot talk people out of anything if they actually want to do it. Today’s adventure was collecting the files to help a driving company and their profits correctly file their papers. Waiting in a small room for someone to bring the papers to you, you heard the voices of people in the hallway. One laughing and one just casual. Though it was definitely deeper than the others. “I have the boxes of papers and receipts. I can carry it to the car for you if you’d like.” You look up and see a guy next to two..two trolleys of boxes? Shit. Shaking your head you realize you needed to respond “Oh yes. Um, follow me to my car. I can push one if you want?” “That is all right. Boss said it should be me” “A-All right this way” Stepping to the side of the elevator you ride back down into the garage and make sure he can see the way. He’s quiet though. His mask and glasses hiding his face. Though this surely would be faster if he allowed you to help. The sound of the back door and trunk closing you realized he had finished. Strong and productive? That is something your office needs. If only.

Deciding to take the files home instead. Luckily you had a work laptop and with you having use of an elevator at home you had to go there instead. No way you would carry 10 boxes upstairs from the garage into your office and back. No, sir. Getting your wheeled computer chair you wheeled a few boxes in at a time. Too tired to even begin going through it all. Settling into bed you were going to get up early instead. Sure you would have a clearer mind and better focus, anyway. Not even bothering to change you kicked off your pants and flopped onto the bed. The morning coming sooner than one would think for someone who got a solid 8 hours for once. The smell of the automatic coffee maker waking you. Dragging your feet you make it into the kitchen and see the boxes near the couch. So you needed to do that much work, huh? At least your boss wouldn’t rush. But it makes sense why you were sent. Finishing your coffee you settle onto the couch pulling out files from one of the boxes. Some people really made things harder than they had to be. Things are so much easier when you don’t have to look at every paper. But older people don’t like it automated, old habits really do die hard.

Papers, and papers and more papers. If you didn’t know better, you would think someone would slip more in overnight to drive you insane. But luckily the old man was organized. Able to knock it out in less than a month was impressive. But it certainly wasn’t something you would want to go through again. New clients were nice when they came with good money. Able to get a little more than the standard bonus was nice when more work went in. But you rarely got personal checks as an apology from the business itself. But $10,000 was a lot. I mean, the company did lots of business including events, travel amongst other things. And you had seen their profits and expenses but wow. It was a new man who took the boxes back in to destroy. Some people really were the paranoid types when it came to personal information but you would not fault them for that. Not realizing it wasn’t the same man as last time until you got to your car. At least you hadn’t commented on it, you saved yourself from embarrassment for one, and you didn’t even intend to.

Life continues as usual in the office again. Unfortunately, you seemed to be stuck behind the desk for a few weeks now. Looking out the window when hearing aloud honk you saw him again, holding open the door of the car and walking into the Italian restaurant again. Even in a winter coat, one could see how toned he was. Not noticing that he again had seen you. Eyes on you through the window next to their booth. Your boss giving you files for another new client. Though this time they made it easier with it being digital. Staying late you were able to finish the client. Your eyes finally noticing the time. 4 a.m.? You really need to learn not to do things this way anymore. Heading towards your car you see him again. But he’s alone this time. He’s on the phone, and this time you heard him talk. He had been the one to help you initially. That voice wasn’t something you’d forget. Even if you aren’t sure what was lost, he seems angry about. His eyes on you as he abruptly ends his phone call. Eyes watching for a moment before he walks off. What could have happened? Geez. But that voice truly suited his face.

Deciding to go to the place across the street was new, but you had never been. Though you couldn’t think of why. It had regular business and traffic so it couldn’t be bad. Knowing you’d go next week when you got off early for a long weekend. Living your life as normal you didn’t really notice the subtle things you should have picked up on. Like how your boss seemed to give you all the large-scale clients. Or how there was a lot of gang activity in the city. Though, everyone seemed unaware. The news screen glaring with the bold bar. How there had been an accident and a shooting. Most seemed to think the first incident was guilt after the man committed the shooting but the news had something else that changed people's minds. There had been a stabbing. But it wasn’t a robbery. And it truly was overkill. What got to you the most was it was the garage of the cab company. How lucky are you, that you finished a week early and weren’t there? But with your mind on that, you had some trouble sleeping. It is probably why you agreed to go on that blind date that your friend mentioned. Though, it was worse there than the theory even was. He wasn’t even wearing his shoes. Who takes on their shoes while out at a nice French restaurant? Man, you and your friend must have lost touch a lot since she went backpacking last year. Why would she ever think THIS would be someone you would be interested in? Luckily enough your phone gave you a message notification. And even if it was a simple reminder to grab eggs at the store on the way home, you would have been a fool to not use that to get away.

You may take the cake for the dumbest of them all. Your boss, of all people, setting you up on a date. Sure, he was a sweet old guy, but you should have said no. Especially with yesterday fresh in your mind. But you didn’t have the heart to say no, for whatever reason. But that was only now coming to you. Five hours later as you lay staring at the ceiling on your back in bed. Still unable to sleep. Maybe this one will at least be polite enough to keep his shoes on. And your boss said it would be at the place across the street. At least you had another reason to go there at least. With your boss giving you the day off instead of an early day, you realized you would just go there instead. 10 a.m. seemed like an early date but an off day with pay? You would take that for sure. The man sitting at the booth across the room said your name. A sweet smile on his face, just how young was he? He seemed sweet enough, but he sure was talkative. He had already ordered for you. There seemed to be a little of everything, and you would have said something had he not beat you to it. “So, you may not exactly be here for a date, it is to help file and input or expenses. I know you aren’t exactly a secretary but you specialize in this. And your boss said your name specifically when we mentioned what we needed help with. And in case you wanted to know, it’s not for me... it’s for my bro...well, not really my bro..I...I’ll go get the files, do, should I actually just get a guy to bring them over to your place directly? There is...a lot of boxes..” Just how many is a lot? Is what you would have asked if you weren’t an idiot. But here you are, in your living room with 30 boxes. How...how many years of filing is this even for?

This would take months. Separating by category, the month amongst other things was the fun part. Fun. Man, you really need to get out more. Sending updates was something you felt was necessary. Sending for every three months you were able to finish. And the months going by again. And wow, this business also had big bucks. franchises in different cities, some cater only, wow, that total has a LOT of zeros. With the truck coming to take their papers to shred the files themselves you concluded that the next company will be the company that does the disposal that all these companies likely use.

Some people have a way of making things harder than they needed to be. Some just can’t listen nor do what they said they would do. But sometimes things were also messy. Like now, another runaway that owed us $50K was dumb enough to come back here and out of hiding, people will pay their debts, even if it’s with their life. To think he was dumb enough after all this time to think we wouldn’t shoot. Blood really does get everywhere. With the sun down long ago it seems at least one thing in my favor tonight. Putting the trunk back down I started the drive back to the restaurant. Entering through the side entrance and slipping into our spares. Finally presentable again I went into the restaurant for the meeting with the boss. At least he’s been more lenient and lets me handle things in ways I want now. But man, it really was a long day. Grabbing some of the leftovers I headed home knowing it’d continue on tomorrow.

Unfortunately, when you have big clients them going missing brings attention than I would prefer to be avoided. There is a reason I am in the back of everything. Though today, I got a very interesting assignment. Keep an eye on the big boss’ employee. She seems so, clean on paper. Even when we do our documents, we don’t have this. Why he could need surveillance on her, I guess I will find out..but wait..I’ve seen her before. She heard me on the phone with Hweseung after he ended up losing the envelope of passports we got after the final deal with buying the rest of the properties. Politicians are too easy, ‘Can’t be bought’ my ass.

Knowing her schedule is honestly, sad. All prior clients have known about scandals and of weird activities that warranted following. But this is the most, plain thing I’ve seen. It’s also kind of, nice. In this line of work, you forget there are just average non-dirty and average people anymore. Gets to work at work by 9 but usually is a little early. That is what I knew first. She orders the BLT every time that she goes to that food truck but takes the tomato off after a bite, but never gets without. Likes her coffee with just cream but eats it with a cinnamon roll on Fridays. She always looks at the pets in the window of the pet shop even when on the other side of the street. She smiles when she takes the first bite of, pasta? Who makes their own lunch this much? But even from here I can tell it tastes nice. If only I could have a home-cooked meal, geez, when is the last time I even had one of those? Luckily. I don’t have to watch while she’s at work anymore. New cameras installed so just weekends and after.

The weekend coming soon I knew I needed to have Jaehyun cover my shift, so I decided to text now, with a little time to kill. But with Jaehyun distracting me with a story about drunk Hun I didn’t notice the time. And she was now walking this way, towards the small bakery for a nice snack before heading home. She usually looks to the window of puppies which, I am standing in front of, ‘way to go unnoticed Seunghyub you dumbass’. She gave me a soft smile, and I gave her a small wave. Maybe the fact she is attracted to me would make this less of a fail, right?

Maybe you should just pick up and move. Usually one would like the ease of day-to-day life, yet it makes everything seem too plain. With your boss adding about 8 files he needed you to finish tonight apparently, you were definitely annoyed. Luckily, there was a pizza place just down the road so at least you would have dinner. Unaware of the eyes watching you. Cameras throughout the entire building Seunghyub made sure to watch all your movements. The boss wanted to get help on some of the most secret files and needed to know for sure that they would trust you not to ask questions when you were to be given the documents, even if they had been altered to hide the true reasons of profit. Seunghyub watching you whine as you dropped the piece of pizza upside down on the floor. Your mind exhausted, but the boss needed to do some quick business nearby and needed to be sure you wouldn’t stumble upon it.

Seunghyub looking away after someone told him the coast was clear and hoped you could go home soon. You decide to call in for one of your days off that you never took you went on a nice stroll. Passing by a small gym you saw him again. He was training. You didn’t need to know much about boxing to know he had a nice form. Seeing him shirtless for once you realized just how fit he was. Just what does he do for a living. Shaking your head you start back on your way towards a small bistro, unaware of Seunghyub’s eyes following you. Seeing you walk towards a small street he knew where you were headed. Seunghyub turning towards a few people for a quick conversation before redressing. Making his way towards you, Your food is being brought towards you when you hear the chime of the door opening. You see him walk in, walking past you to the counter ordering a small muffin and coffee before he steps to the side. Back against the counter, he checks his phone before looking around, before his face settles on you, and he gives you another smile.

Today really was your lucky day, wasn’t it? Your favorite seat was open, you had the day off and then this. Smiling shyly back you started to eat your sandwich trying not to embarrass yourself on the spot. Seunghyub thanking the lady for the coffee before grabbing his order and heading towards the door, before he stops, and turns back. Walking towards you he stands on the other side of the table, eyes on you. He speaks slowly when asking. “May I sit with you?”. Perhaps he doesn’t want to eat alone, but it felt like he wanted to sit with you specifically. But that’d be crazy right? It wasn’t like he knew you. There aren’t too many words between the two of you. But he laughed when you mentioned having a hard ass of a boss. Perhaps you should ask him for his number. But before you can he is standing up. Bidding a soft farewell. You could only hope you would see him again soon so that maybe next time you could ask.

With your boss piling more and more work on you, you had to think he had it out for you. Why else would he make you need to have a final report within the week? But if only you knew who he really was. Your phone giving you an alert you saw something you had almost forgotten about. There was another murder, the news assuming it was a hit. They had found a car in the nearby lake. Someone had driven the man into the lake while tied to the seat. The body had been dead at least a year. The man was a local, but it seems no one had reported him missing, man. What a scary thought. Would anyone notice you were gone or care enough to report it? You definitely hoped so. The little camera in the corner still watching you. You staying at work through the night. Oddly uncomfortable with the news, even though it happened quite a while ago, and the likelihood that the guy was still around or would have any reason to harm you is slim to none.

Oddly enough, you felt safer alone at work, even though there is that sketchy alleyway around back than at home. It felt like you had more protection and potential saviors. Not aware of your own surrounding even you were working through the night. The buzz of the door you looked at the camera and recognized the pizza box. Had you even ordered pizza? Walking to the door you opened it and went to hand the man his money before he informed you that it had already been paid for. Extra cheese, a side of wings, this definitely was something you have ordered before but you knew this wasn’t right. Maybe it was a glitch in their system where it resent when you set your alarm for a break. You definitely would never assume it would have been him. And if he could help it he’d make sure you never did.

Heading home after you noticed the sun had come through the window, you grabbed the leftover pizza box and the wings and headed home. Sleeping in the majority of the day you chose to be lazy. Grabbing a few slices of the cold leftovers you sat on the couch, still in pajamas deciding you could binge some Bob’s Burgers. If you ever truly had a normal schedule, you would try to recreate some of them, but it didn’t seem like that would ever happen. You in your own world you would never notice the sleek black car at the end on the street. The camera snapping pictures of you through the window. The camera no longer capturing you as the needed images were taken already. The car backing up and driving away slowly, you blissfully unaware of its existence.

You would think in this line of work you couldn’t really be surprised anymore, and that you would have ‘seen it all’. Yet hearing the plans for Saturday I have to say there is a first time for everything. Not only is it a day’s notice for a party, but a themed, 20s Mafia party. If I didn’t know him so well, I would think he was pulling my leg. Getting the right cars in order for the big boss coming from out of town, making sure that the menu at the restaurant was set, among everything else.

Jaehyun laughing and annoying Hun let me know at least some things weren’t changing this week. When was the last time the boss was even here? It had to be a year after we had to deal with a higher up trying to steal files. I wonder if he is coming back with the body being pulled out, but it didn’t seem like this was a high priority meeting. Settling on being a driver, mostly to be able to have at least some peace and quiet. Plus, I can avoid people talking and drinking and being loud as long as possible. Even though it wasn’t said it was mandatory, his tone implied it would be better if I actually was there. Plus, according to Jaehyun, she would be there. After all this time he could still apparently see my emotions written on my face. But it seems to be a new thing. Since when was I into the good girls. It isn’t possible to have a good girl in this environment. The ding of a timer going off I knew I needed to head out. Driving the car around back I stayed in silence. The ride to the pickup was a little way out, but it really was what I needed right now. How can I be excited to see her and hope she doesn’t show at the same time? Shaking thoughts of her from my head I pulled up to the hangar. Stepping out and walking to the side of the car, opening the door and taking the bags to the back.

The drive back isn’t as quiet as they held a conversation, yet it could tune it out as I tried to compose myself. Maybe Jaehyun was wrong and this nervousness would be all for naught. Pulling into the garage, I park quickly before opening the door for him again. Walking into the restaurant I end up being pulled into multiple conversations I almost forgot about the nerves that were on edge when I arrived. While going through the room I tried to look around to find her. Eyes searching until they found her. A plate stacked full of shrimp and mashed potatoes in her hand. It really was something to behold. The other girls in the room sitting to the side. Nothing but wine, or a salad. But using shrimp instead of utensils to scoop the mashed potatoes and gravy truly showed she wasn’t the one to be at these parties. Gently nudging Hun’s arm I exited the conversation I walked towards the bar, for a little liquid courage before finally talking to her.

Damn it Jaehyun I’ve been on edge all day knowing this next time let me go in blind. Maybe I will get another. or two. Standing and leaving the stool I turn to go to look for her again, only to bump into someone. With my luck, it just had to be her. Not really sure what to say I just stand there like an idiot. Wow, that shirt is very sheer. Black bra under too, huh? Very daring. “I didn’t mean to bump into you sorry I wasn’t really paying attention”. Wow, she is prettier up close, and she’s smiling. Glancing down, I realize she has a fresh plate of food again. I certainly do love when a girl can eat. She seems to notice me staring and holds the plate out to me. “Here I’ll get another. I get it. Drunk food is nice” She places the plate into my hand before heading to the table to get another plate. I turn to the bar again and sit back down, ordering another drink. Maybe something stronger would take the edge off, a double shot of scotch should help.. The seat next to me is taken, she’s really not going to let me get her off my mind, is she? The bartender getting us both drinks, beer isn’t what I was expecting someone like her to order, but it was nice to see someone so....casual even in this setting. Where or conversation even started, I am not sure. But I do know that there have many rounds of drinks. I do know that most have filed out. She is laughing at things I am saying and this truly is an amazing feeling. No business at all. I don’t even remember when life wasn’t business. She thinks I am funny. Take that Hweseung.

Leaning towards me she’s whispering about how she liked me in the gym. Hand running up and down my arm. How can I be this sensitive, damn it Seunghyub it’s like puberty all over again. Snap out of it. She’s gotten off the stool and held out her hand. I would be a fool to deny her. Taking her to her own home, I did try my best the whole walk there that it would not end in anything but a good night. But with her hands slipping to pull me towards her by my belt I knew that I too could not resist her. Following her lead to her room, our clothes were being kicked out in the process. Shoes, pants, bra leaving a trail that would leave nothing to the imagination. “Take it off” Oh, man, she truly is beautiful, kicking off my boxer I try to kneel on her bed, missing and falling to the floor. Her laugh somehow making it not seem embarrassing. Climbing onto the bed I made sure to tell her. Tell her how I had heard from Jaehyun that she would be there, how I thought she was so so beautiful. How much I loved that laugh. Her hands pulling my face towards her’s into a kiss. Her hands gripping me firmly. I didn’t even notice her move her hand. Shit. How does this feel so good? She’s pulled away and given me a look I’ve never seen before. Is...is she taunting me? Returning the favor I made sure to let the rings do something I knew would drive her crazy. But I honestly needed this as much as she did. Adjusting the position again I skip the teasing, for both our sakes and get straight to it. Sliding it slowly I try to keep pace. But I’m slipping out and honestly, just the sounds she is making was making it hard to even last. Her leg locking over my hip to pull me into her firmly as she finishes. Nails deep into my shoulders. Finishing with her I realize I really can’t leave. I couldn’t move if I wanted to. I hope she doesn’t regret this in the morning.

Waking up you notice that your arm is sore. Only to then notice the man asleep on top of you. His face buried in your neck and arm draped across you, you were able to see why your arm hurt. Sliding quietly out from under him, you push his hair from his face and are able to recognize him. Slipping towards your bathroom to take a shower you are happy to be alone and think of what unfolded. You remembered talking to him and using your hands to eat..oh man, he totally saw that. Talking about how handsome he was and how amazing he looked shirtless. How after all that was he not considering you a creep was your thought. The small moments coming back too, like him tripping when taking off his pants, and how deep his voice was when he was telling you to hold on to him tighter, even remembering a good night. How long you had taken you couldn’t exactly be sure, but the water had gone cold, so it had been a while.

Walking out from the bathroom in a robe and drying your hair with a towel you notice he was gone. You didn’t really expect him to stay, but it really is a shame he didn’t. Getting ready for work you head in and just try not to think about it. Immersing yourself in your work to avoid questions your mind may ask, you zoned out. Not really focusing on anything. Being snapped back into reality with a knock on the door of your office. Your coworker walking in with takeout from the restaurant from across the street and a bouquet of roses. I know I didn’t say goodbye, but you were in the shower a while. Be sure to eat this and have a nutritious lunch okay? - Seunghyub. Smiling lightly to yourself you can’t help but snort a little. More memories of last night coming back, like him saying how his friends call him J.Don. But how he had asked you not to call him anything but Seunghyub in bed. Maybe you should have asked why he had the name he did with his friends. But for now, all you knew was that you felt you’d see him again.

With you actually being sure to leave on time today you turned the corner and bumped into someone. Seunghyub apologizing before taking notice that you hadn't eaten much of the lunch, seeing how he had knocked the container from your hands to the floor. Taking your hand in his he walked you down the block to a small diner. Telling you to order food. His eyes soft but he was deadly serious. Ordering an omelet and a bowl of fruit. Usually, you would get pancakes or fries, but with his note of “nutritious”, you felt this would be a better route with him. His order of just eggs and toast and black coffee did not surprise you. Even now, with his button-down shirt and jacket, he was still simple. It was as if he knew everything he liked and what worked for him. Your eyes going to his shoulders. Wondering just how they held up from last night. If your hips showed you anything he was definitely marked up as well. Blushing, you hid your face as much as you could behind your own cup of coffee. His voice not helping when he talks. Even if it wasn’t as deep as it was in the moment last night it truly was a sound that could make you melt. His eyes lighting up as he watched from the side of his eyes. Looking out the window. As if he knew how much he was messing with you.

Your eyes looking at his face again, not knowing what you are doing before it happens. Your words surprising yourself as much as they did him. Asking him to be your boyfriend. Did you really just go there? Why isn’t he saying anything? If only a hole could open up and swallow you on the- “Is that not what this is?” Wait, was he saying what it seems like he was saying? “I am not the hookup type and I really enjoyed talking to you. Plus, you’ve been praised a lot by the boss and I have to say I can see why” Oh wow, he was. With soft smiles and even numbers exchanged you went home happy. In a daze as you walked to your bed and fell onto your back looking at the ceiling before putting the pillow over your face looking forward to whatever would happen with him in the future.

As luck would have it, I got sent away for meetings and shipping. Why did it have to be as soon as I had something good happening? Well, at least we have a routine of sorts. We started sending short videos to one another recently, and I don’t think I can ever get over the first soft sleepy video she sent me before she went to sleep. Telling me how much she missed me. Her hair a mess, but her eyes, man her eyes. I am so lucky she couldn’t see how soft I have gone for her yet. Maybe I can get her to video call, or Skype me this weekend while I am away. Knowing her schedule and that she would sleep in I sent Chinese takeout to her house. Knowing she got it and wasn’t upset by the selfie of her cheeks full. Maybe when I get back, I can convince her to get a kitten from the pet store or ask her to move in with me. Is it too soon for that? Maybe just giving her a key would be good for now.

The first week going by fast and as luck would have it even with different schedules and a time difference while I was away we could chat tonight. I didn’t expect her to ask what I was wearing, and at the moment I didn’t realize her intentions. But now, which, of course, is after our chat has long ended I know what she was suggesting. Maybe she would take better to the key. This next week had better go by fast. The next day was, intense. With Jaehyun starting his training, we went to the range, and he had lots of target practice. Even though he was not someone we wanted in the field, as he was more a face and manager type we could always do good to have another ‘just in case’. Hweseung surprising even me with how well he takes to everything. And how gentle he can be despite everything. The trip taking longer than expected as Jaehyun was still pretty awkward and reluctant with everything I could finally go home.

Sure to get a key made and some assorted flowers in a bouquet and a hunter green rabbit’s foot key chain with the key to my place. Heading to your house around noon. Knocking on your door I took a step back rocking on my heels, the nerves not settling, would she say no? The door opening she smiled at me and let me in quickly. I was standing there still holding the flowers like an idiot. Holding them out to her she took them, sure to make me almost regret this “I never thought you would be the soft and sappy type, J.Don.” Her smirk making me almost scowl, yet I stayed here “I can take them back then, and I told you when we are alone call me Seunghyub” “I never said I didn’t like them, Seungyub, I’ll put them in some water.” My hands slipping into my pocket I pull out the key and twirl the keychain in my fingers. In my own little world, I don’t notice her walk back into the room. “Whatcha got there?” Startled I drop the key onto the floor. Bending down to pick it up before holding it out in my hand towards her. “I, for you? To move in, or to have I, you don’t have to I just thought that you may want to, maybe” “I guess it all depends, are you asking?” A playful glint in her eyes told me that I was right, I truly am whipped for her. Her hand coming and taking it from me smiling and even though I could tell she was going to talk my mouth opened anyway “We should get a cat!”. Her laughter filling the room, I can feel my ears and face turning red “Next thing you will ask to have a baby, huh” Stumbling over what never turned into words I turn away from her, her hand touching my shoulder her soft voice, calming me “Okay. But let me move in before we get one okay?” Yes. That was definitely okay.

You may have been more accustomed to living with him had there been any routine or regimen with his schedule. But you live for the moments where things work out like this. Your schedules matching up and off days with you waking up before him and seeing just how sweet he looks when he does. Your hands tracing lightly on his chest. The fact he sleeps shirtless is truly a blessing. You in your own world hands going lower, and lower not noticing him looking at you. His movements are quick as he rolled you over. Hand catching your wrist between your bodies. His eyes looking over your face and he smirks. Knowing just how equal your desperation for him is. Kiss your neck he shifts his knee between your legs to spread them just a bit more. Nibbling on your collarbone as his hand drops your wrist, pulling himself from his boxers as he shifts forward. Slowly pushing his hips forward until he sinks in fully. Your hands on his shoulders he pushes himself up. Pace starting to pick up, as well as his force. More erratic than normal. Perhaps he really was desperate and needy. But these sounds. His moans and heavy breathing, and the sounds of the actual action filling the room, in addition to the smell of it, you realized how desperate and how much you had missed him. All around you right now was him. All of your senses overwhelmed by him and only him at this moment. His hand sliding between you again to add just a bit more intensity by playing with your clit. The low groan and bite on your shoulder were almost unnoticed as you felt, everything. Maybe you should have said something early, but the feeling was warmer than anything else.

Rolling onto his back his hand slides down to intertwine his fingers with yours. His chest rising and breath heavy. A soft hum escaping him before a single deep laugh, deep in his chest. His thumb rubbing the back of your hand you knew he was as overwhelmed as you were, and you honestly never hoped for him to skip work as much as you did at this moment. Seunghyub rolling onto his side to give you a kiss before slipping out of the bed and towards the bathroom. The sound of the water running under normal circumstances would have lulled you to sleep, but with the ability to finally see him for a whole day kept you from doing so. Had your mind not run and have weird zoning out bouts you likely would have joined him, but with the sound of the bathroom door opening you realized how much time had passed. Rolling onto your side you watch him. His chest on full display as he had a towel over his head, and another around his waist. Eyes catching yours in the mirror above the dresser and he smirked. “Don’t worry baby, I will hurry and rejoin you soon enough. Unless you want breakfast instead?”. Breakfast really sounded good. Sliding out of bed and towards him, you kissed his neck before heading to the kitchen. A soft breathy laugh escaping him when you did. You just getting two ingredients from the fridge to make an omelet as he made his way into the kitchen with you. His hands reaching around your waist to pull you back towards him his head falling into your neck “What can I do to help?”. Pointing at the apron you didn’t need to say much more. His hands reaching for it as you grabbed another cutting board, and placed an onion and pepper on it, as you continued to wash the spinach and mushrooms. The two of you peacefully working in silence, only a small nudge of his elbow as he grabbed some eggs and scrambled them, as you started to saute the veggies. The nice sweet day off was nice. The two of you cuddling on the couch and binging Netflix, eating way too much popcorn but it was definitely worth it. Though around 6 his phone kept going off, and you knew he needed to head into work. You can’t really be mad at him, you know it wasn’t something he wanted to do. But deciding to do laundry, upon switching over the loads you heard the printer doing off.

Walking into the office after folding and putting away the laundry you certainly could never have prepared for what you saw, you had seen that name before. Why would your boss be paying off the family, unless he had something to do with it? And why would that info be sent to Seunghyub? With your mind drawing to the only logical conclusion you were glad that he would come back late hours, likely well into the morning. Settling into bed your mind could not focus. Staring at the ceiling and rolling onto your side to get more comfortable. There really was no way to truly know when you fell asleep, but when you woke up Seunghyub was back and asleep next to you, facing away. Sitting up you looked at him you weren’t really sure how to feel. With all the amazing nights you’ve had. How out of his way he’d go to bring you lunch or stay up to see you get home. Could he really be someone to do such a thing? Leaving early for work to be able to avoid seeing him and think things through in your office without him possibly noticing something was up with you. Not really second-guessing yourself and you opened a file you didn’t expect you finished and sent it through. Your mind not really thinking about it again, until a few days later that is.

Your boss called you into his office. It was then that you remembered what you had done. Was he going to try to make you feel bad about handing in your resignation? Likely. But you just hoped that he would not tell Seunghyub. Sitting down in front of his desk he continued to just look at you, not saying anything for what felt like a long time. “I will assume you know. Would that be a correct assumption?” Eyes wide and no words able to form from you he just sighs. “I am not going to kill you, but I would like to say something. With it being this abrupt I assume you said nothing to him? I want you to do two things for me. The first is to think back to the party. I want you to think of how many people were there.” His pause made your mind do just that. And now that you truly did there was maybe 50 or so. Though before you could say anything he spoke again. “I want you to go see Seunghyub. I am sure you know now how small the operation we have is. There isn’t really an opportunity to meet people in our line of work, and he is already stuck to you like a magnet. So if you do plan to leave, I want to at least see him before you do. Just, I’ll let you off early just go to this address okay?” Walking back to your office you sat in your chair. Contemplating whether you should or not, before opting to do as such. You driving slowly to the address he gave you. Though it took longer to walk in than you thought you would take. Your feet finally giving you trouble, you walk in. Not seeing many people, but hearing what had to be a conference ending. Stepping into a hallway you hope they walk past quickly so you can find Seunghyub and leave. But just as you turn a corner, you hear his name. Though most of the worst you can’t hear you do know that some are clear enough to know what they said. You deserve it. Promotion. Good job? Shaking you head still unsure you really want to know, you peak into the room and see him. Somehow he looks just like and not like himself at once. His head turned and noticing you walk in the room. Somehow even with the stoic look on his face, his eyes flashed a flurry of emotions. Your feet taking you to him, you are just looking at him. No words are said between the two of you now, though you both somehow know. You will both go home, but you will have a lot to talk about.

42 notes · View notes

thepersephonecabin · 5 years

Text

A Very Adamo Family Christmas

Happy holidays! This is my gift for @foxesonstilts for the 2019 @festivebastion gift exchange. They requested Adamo/Laure, snapshots from their life at the Greylace estate, and Adamo and Royston being bros.

So this is the story about the wild circumstances surrounding the birth of Adamo and Laure’s first child. Sorry, it isn’t as Adamo/Laure centric necessarily as it could be, so much as it’s... general chaos from the whole crew, but I hope you like it nonetheless!

read on AO3

The problem with living in a remote top secret military base disguised as a farmhouse an hour from Thremedon, Laure realized, was that when you went into labor in the middle of the worst blizzard in a decade you would inevitably find yourself snowed in with only a group of the biggest idiots from here to the border as midwifes.

She supposed it was lucky at least that it had happened after their yearly gift exchange for the winter holidays so at least she had Hal and Thom to help bring the collective IQ of the house up, she reasoned, gritting her teeth as another contraction hit her.

Owen was helping her up the stairs to their bedroom, one arm around her waist, the other hand clasped in hers. “It’s okay, breathe through it,” he told her soothingly.

She was trying to, but it was kind of hard with the cacophony that was occurring behind her in the rest of the stairwell.

“Shit, shit, shit,” Raphael was cursing, “How the fuck are we supposed to deliver a baby?”

“Don’t look at me,” Luvander said, “I haven’t seen a vagina up close since secondary school.”

“I GOT A TOWEL,” Toverre announced from somewhere beyond the bottom of the stairs.

“Thrilling. Did you hear? He got a towel,” Ghislain said to Luvander.

“Are you sure you don’t want me carry you?” Owen asked her, gently.

She looked over at him, and let herself focus on him, “Are you sure you can?”

“I’m sure I can try,” he laughed. He let go of her hand so that he could bend slightly, and hook his arms under her knees, lifting her up into his arms and carrying her the rest of the way. A clattering of footsteps let her know the others were following.

As her husband deposited her on the bed, the others filed in, and Adamo turned on them in full chief sergeant mode. “Right, you all can’t be in here or you’ll just wreak havoc.”

Everyone began arguing, shouting about who should get to stay. Laure began dedicating her entire remaining concentration on the arduous task of removing her soaked underwear, an act that she normally wouldn’t have performed in front of everyone, but one that she didn’t see the point in concealing under the current circumstances.

“We can handle this, right boys?” Raphael said to the other first wave members. “I mean, we’ve taken down catapults and taken down tons of Ke-han assholes, fought in countless battles. Delivering a baby? How hard can it be?” Then he caught sight of the pair of panties Laure had just finished removing. “Is that? Bloo-“

He didn’t finish, because he’d fainted. Luvander and Ghislain took a solemn moment to look down at him and not help in any way whatsoever.

“As Adamo’s best friend, obviously, I’ll stay,” Royston was saying.

“Yeah right,” Luvander said. “A fantastic idea. Let’s just put a person known for accidentally exploding things when he gets stressed out in the birthing suite, I’m sure nothing could go wrong there.”

“Well, you know how much it pains me to say it, but Luvander has a point,” Adamo began.

Royston gasped, “Et tu, Owen?”

“Maybe you could try using your powers to get through the snow outside,” Thom suggested. “Then, we could sent Rook or Ghislain out towards Thremedon for a medic.”

“Nope, not going,” Rook said, shouldering his way into the room, carrying a bucket full of towels in one hand and a bowl of water in the other. “Her water already broke, and contractions are less than ten minutes apart. Not enough time in this snow to melt our way out, get to Thremedon, and get back. I’m staying here. Send Ghislain if you want someone to check up on her after it’s over.”

Everyone went quiet, looking at him as he made himself at home at the foot of the bed and began rolling up his sleeves. Luvander gaped at him.

“Hillary, get over here, make yourself useful and pull her hair back as much as you can,” Rook said, pulling a hair tie off his wrist and letting it hang off one hand angled back towards Thom without looking. “Then do mine.”

Thom exchanged confused glances with everyone else, but slowly complied.

“Rook, I’m sorry, I think it might be time for me to get my ears checked again, but are you being reasonable right now?” Balfour asked.

“Shut up, Balfour,” Rook snapped. “I’m delivering, obviously. I have the most experience.” He said it as if it pained and exhausted him to even have to say it.

“Is this really time to brag about how many girls you’ve fucked?” Laure said through gritted teeth.

Rook gave her a warning look and snarled, “It’s not about how many girls I’ve fucked, it’s about the fact that I’m surely the only person in this room who’s helped deliver a baby before.”

“When the fuck did you have time to do that?” Luvander asked. “Thom, when did he do that?”

Thom sighed and began pulling Rook’s hair and braids into a ponytail. “I don’t know, Luvander. I’ve told you, I’m not his keeper.”

“To be fair,” Ghislain said, “You are putting up his hair like a lady-in-waiting right now.”

“Okay, stop,” Adamo said. “Rook, do you really know how to do this or are you talking bullshit?”

Rook looked exasperated, “Do all of you just think the whores in Molly just have doctors waiting on their beck and call? No, they don’t, and even if they did, it’s a tad hard to pay them in sex when you’ve just pushed a baby out of yourself. You just make do with whoever’s there, and you can hardly call yourself a Mollyrat if you haven’t pulled a baby out of someone. I mean, Hillary’s standing right there, isn’t he? Who do you think pulled his whiny ass out of our Mom? Mom? Though, if I’m being honest, if I had known how much of a pain in my ass he’d be I might’ve been more keen to just leave him in there.”

“Wow, love you too, big bro,” Thom muttered sarcastically. No one else really seemed to know how to respond to this statement because Rook and Thom’s shared parentage was somewhat of a touchy subject that no one felt that safe commenting on with any level of seriousness.

Rook seemed to notice Raphael lying on the floor for the first time, “What happened to him?”

“He saw the bloody underwear and just gave dead way,” Balfour said.

Rook looked at the unconscious body for a moment, and just said, “Pussy.”

Adamo was pinching the bridge of his nose, “Okay, obviously Raphael can’t stay. Luvander is out because by his own admission he doesn’t know jack shit about the female reproductive system. Royston, how about you use your explosions to push the snow and work on trying to clear an exit to the stables, and once we get out there Balfour can see if his girl is willing to melt a path for Ghislain to get a horse out to the road.”

“That won’t be a problem, the problem will be getting her to stop,” Balfour promised.

“Well, as long as she doesn’t set the house on fire she can melt as much snow as she wants, there’s certainly enough of it. Laure, are you okay with Rook doing this?”

“Honey, I cannot express to you how little I care about who takes it out as long as someone does,” Laure said, resting against the pillows and closing her eyes. “Not Toverre, though. Love him, but I’m already stressed out enough. I can’t worry about how many sheets I ruin right now.”

“Fair enough,” Adamo said. “Rook, how much help are you going to need?”

“Maybe one other person,” Rook said with a shrug. “Besides you. Your job is to keep her calm. I don’t care who else stays as long as they stay out of my way. Just make a decision so I can look at her. I doubt your bride wants me to flip up her skirt with everyone here.”

“Okay, Thom, help him since you know how to handle him,” Adamo delegated. “Hal, why don’t you stay so you can pass on every scintillating detail to your husband. We can pass anything dirty to Toverre as they come to keep him busy and make him feel included. Everyone else, you have your jobs or you can standby for one.”

“Sir, yes, sir,” Luvander said, with a mock salute, and lead the way out.

The first child of Owen and Laure Adamo, was born at nearly one in the morning, and Bastion-blessed, she was a big one. “The fattest fucking baby I’ve seen since Thom came out,” according to Rook, in fact.

And she was. 12 pounds, 2 ounces, with chubby, little cheeks and rolls upon rolls of skin, but she was completely and utterly perfect.

“I don’t know that she’s necessarily fat,” Luvander said, leaning over Toverre’s shoulder, though he was definitely talking to Raphael. “I think she might just be built like a square like Adamo is.”

“You think?” Raphael asked.

“Can you two please quiet down? I’m having a bonding moment with my niece,” Toverre complained. He was leaning over the bathroom sink where the baby was squirming in the baby bathtub he’d gotten Laure as a baby shower gift. It was supposed to be the best baby bath on the market, and Laure had honored him by giving him the task of washing the baby for the first time since he’d been so excited about the gift.

Raphael gave him a mock apologetic look, and said, “Oh, so sorry.” Then he stage-whispered to Luvander in the most obnoxious way he could manage, “I HOPE FOR LAURE’S SAKE THE REST OF THEIR CHILDREN AREN’T THIS BIG.”

Luvander gave him a wicked grin. “WE SHOULD BET. HOW LONG BEFORE THE NEXT ONE AND HOW MANY THEY END UP WITH?”

“IT’LL BE RAMANTHINE TWINS FOR SURE. I MEAN WITH THEIR FREQUENCY OF LOVEMA-“

“Okay, that’s it, get out!” Toverre yelled at them.

“Or what?” Luvander asked.

“Or I’ll tell Adamo the way you were talking about his wife,” Tovere said.

They got out.

Back in the bedroom, Thom was staring at Rook again.

“What the fuck are you lookin’ at?” Rook hissed at him, shoving dirty sheets into a basket, then doing a double take. “What are you smiling at?”

Thom blushed, looking away. “It’s nothing. It’s just… you know, the last time I saw you with blood up to your elbows like that it was in the desert after you massacred that tribe with Kalim.”

“So?” Rook asked.

“I don’t know. I just thought it was nice to think about. It’s like you’ve graduated from taking life out of the world to bring life into it.”

“I’m gonna take you out of this world if you don’t shut up.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Thom sighed. “But seriously, you did good. I’m proud of you.”

“Do I get any gold stars or special points, Professor?” Rook snarked in mock happy voice.

“Rook,” Adamo said from the bed beside Laure, “you were doing so well, don’t start being an asshole now.”

“Bold of you to think I ever stopped.”

It was then that Toverre re-entered the room with the baby in his arms. “Well, she’s all clean, even though she did splash me about a million times in the process.” They could see his shirt was covered in dark marks from the water as he went to sit at Laure’s bedside and pass her daughter to her. “She’s beautiful, Laure. She’s perfect.”

Laure smiled, “Thank you, Toverre.”

“What will you name her?” Hal asked.

“Well,” Laure said, looking at her husband. “We needed to talk to Rook and Royston about that.”

Rook paused for a moment at the mention of his name, then shook his head and passed the basket of soiled linens to Toverre for him to take care of.

“I’ll, uh, take these downstairs and send the Margrave up then,” Toverre said awkwardly. “If you need anything, just yell.”

Rook leaned against the window, looking out at the snow for the sake of not looking at Adamo, Laure, and the baby, which he had privately decided to called The Interloper. In the distance he thought he could see a light down towards the end of the driveway. Seemed like he’d been right about them not having time to get a healer if Ghislain was just starting to get back.

It didn’t take long for Royston to bound in. He’d gotten a quick glance of the baby with the others, but they all knew he wouldn’t be satisfied until he was able to take her on a whole damn uncle-niece shopping spree. Sure enough, he was grinning ear-to-ear when he came in with barely contained excitement. “Congratulations,” he said, giving each of the new parents big hugs, then staying attached to Adamo with an arm around his friend’s hip.

Thom went by the window and elbowed Rook until he went over to the bed.

“Well, Laure and I talked about it extensively before tonight,” Adamo began giving his wife a smile, “and against our better judgement, we decided to ask you two, Royston and Rook, to be her godfathers. Royston, you’ve been my closest friends since we were pieces of shit in college together. You were really the one person who encouraged me to go after Laure, you officiated our wedding. And we agreed that neither of us would be here, holding our daughter, if it weren’t for you. And Rook, since the day Amery dragged you into my office you have been nothing if not a pain in my ass, but you’re also maybe the strongest and bravest son of bitch I’ve ever met. And I know if there was one person I could count on to protect my daughter if for some reason Laure or I couldn’t, it would be you.”

“So for those reasons, and in thanks to all your help tonight, we decided to name her Royce Rook Adamo. Rory for short,” Laure said. She looked at Royston. “Do you want to hold her?”

Royston laughed, wiping tears from his eyes. “Of course, I do. What kind of question is that?”

Finally, now that she was in his arms, Royston had a good look at her. She had Adamo’s brown skin, and the croppings of what promised to be curly red hair. He thought she might also have her mother’s smile and cheeks, but a wider nose like her father.

“I’m in love with her already. You know, I rather have a feeling that she’ll be a marvelous handful, this one,” Royston said with a soft laugh, carefully moving away Rory’s tiny fist as she tried to grasp ahold of his beard. “And a fighter to boot. I hope you’ve both gotten your beauty rest.”

Adamo laughed, “Really, I think you and Hal should get yours as well. After all, you’ll have to babysit her eventually.”

“Of course,” Royston agreed. “I’m sure you’ll be ready for some alone time soon enough. Airman Rook, would you like to hold her?”

Rook wasn’t sure what he’d like, but he could feel enough eyes on him that accepted he baby into his arms anyway. He had to admit, now that she’d calmed down and stopped crying she wasn’t so bad. But he wasn’t sure it made her not bad at all yet. It had been many years since he’d held a baby in his arms, and he wasn’t sure he was a fan of having someone to take care of considering Thom gave him enough trouble already.

“Well, Rory,” he sighed, “sorry your parents gave you such a shitty name, but I suppose I can try to make it up to you by teaching you a few swear words, and the important things like holding your liquor, winning bar fights, and maybe if you grow up and end up taking after me in other arenas I can show you the art of wooing ladies and by wooing ladies I mostly mean getting laid, of course. Now, if you really cooperate with me, we might be able to teach you how to say ‘fuck’ before anything else, and wouldn’t that show Mommy and Daddy?”

Rory responded by gurgling spit at him, which he took as a yes. Dumb bitch still doesn’t know how to talk, he joked to himself and almost laughed.

“Yeah, that’s about as good as I was hoping to get when we had this conversation,” Laure said.

“Honestly, I expected it to be much more vulgar,” Adamo confessed. “He could be losing his touch.”

“Rory, can you tell Daddy ‘fuck off’?” Rook asked the baby.

Rory gurgled some more.

“Fine, we’ll work on it some more,” he promised. “We have time.”

#havemercy #volstovic cycle #owen adamo #laure adamo #margrave royston #festive bastion #rebloggable #texting my friends like is it inappropriate for me to post a gift exchange present at like a minute after midnight on the first day #generally with the adamo children i just imagine all the airmen #leaning over them like foulmouthed poorly behaved fairy godmothers

6 notes · View notes

queenofcats17 · 5 years

Text

Unraveled by Timothy Lawrence

I’ve never written anything in the Borderlands fandom, but I saw this post by @0pixer and I guess I’m writing it

-------------------------------------------------------------------

Timothy Lawrence’s life has significantly improved now that Jack is dead and he’s managed to get a job that doesn’t involve killing people. He’s very done with killing people. Rhys has given him a job at ATLAS doing...Well, his official job has something to do with media relations or something. Mostly he makes weird videos where he goes weirdly in-depth about various subjects. Usually books. Sometimes movies. Once he deconstructed a Bunkers and Badasses campaign with the help of Rhys and Vaughn. He’s gained quite a following.

Today, his video opens as it often does, with Tim standing in front of a black background which he may or may not pin pieces of paper to in some strange string board. He’s grown his hair out a bit since joining Atlas, and his ginger hair has started to come back along with his freckles. Today he’s wearing a sweater with a cartoon cat on it.

“As you all probably know, I have an English degree. Before I started working for Jack, I went to school for English. I was going to be a writer.” Tim’s expression is some mix of irritated and existential wondering who his life had ended up this way.

“Anyway,” he clears his throat and continues. “I have an English degree. And today I’m going to use it. To take apart this awful romance novel!” He holds up a book with a giant grin. It looks like something you’d pick up at the drug store and has a stylized illustration of Handsome Jack and a swooning damsel on the front.

“I’m going to tear this apart.” The glee is readily apparent on Tim’s face. He looks absolutely ecstatic to destroy this book, both figuratively and literally. Because he will be burning this once the segment is over. “Despite being told that this is a bad idea and it’s just a book, I’m going to do this anyway!”

“As if we could stop you.” Sasha’s voice comes from off-screen. Tim disregards this, his smile widening.

“Vaughn and Fiona found this while scavenging the charred remains of Helios for supplies.” Tim opens the book, flipping through a few pages. “They were just going to burn it for fuel, but then Fiona read a few pages and it was so bad she brought it back so we could all laugh at it.” He starts giggling in anticipation.

“I kind of remember Jack having these things produced, but, well,” he pauses and lets out an undignified snort. “He had a lot of shitty propaganda produced. I’m pretty sure Rhys owned all of it.”

“I did not!” Rhys’ indignant voice comes from behind the camera.

“Bro, half the stuff in our apartment was Handsome Jack merch.” Vaughn’s voice comes from behind the camera as well. There’s a huff, presumably from Rhys.

“Alright, fine, but I didn’t have that.”

“Well, as an expert on all things Handsome Jack, you wanna tell us how the Jack in this masterpiece measures up to the real thing?” Tim asks with an innocent smile.

“Why would I know?” Rhys asks. “You were the one who worked with him!”

“But you were the one who had him in your head,” Vaughn says. “Oh, I never really asked, but did he see your dick? I always kind of wondered if he did and he made any comments or-” There’s a muffled screaming sound from off-screen, presumably Rhys yelling into a pillow.

“Anyway, let’s move on~,” Tim says in a sing-song voice. “So. First off, what is the plot of this book?” His expression grows comically grim. “That’s very important to talk about if we’re going to tear this thing apart.”

There are various stifled giggles and snorts as the others in the room try to keep themselves together.

“The book follows Felicia, an accountant from Atlas who gets sent to Pandora by her,” he pauses and flips to a page. “‘Horrible heartless bastards of bosses’.”

“Definitely not biased.” Fiona snorts derisively.

“Why would you even suggest that?” Sasha gasps, although it’s clear she’s trying to fight back laughter.

“Felicia has been sent to Pandora to deliver an important document, but she’s a delicate flower who isn’t suited to Pandora’s harsh climate and inhabitants. She can’t survive in this awful awful world.” Tim continues to summarize the book as if it isn’t propaganda disguised as a trashy romance novel. “Almost as soon as she touches down on the planet, bandits kidnap her, sure that her employers will pay handsomely to have her back. But they abandon her to the locals! Felicia is lost in despair until...” He looks dramatically up at the camera. “She’s rescued by none other than Handsome Jack!”

There’s a dramatic gong crash, followed by a panicked yelp.

“Warn me before you do that!” Rhys’ muffled voice hisses.

“Sorry,” Vaughn whispers back.

“Both Jack and Felicia are wary of each other, they are from rival companies after all, but Jack cannot let a defenseless woman suffer in the company of bandits.” Tim bites back a condescending laugh as his showman act starts to break. “So he kills all the bandits, which might be the only thing in this book that actually seems plausible. Anyway, after he kills all the bandits he takes Felicia back to Helios. There’s a lot of that whole enemies to lovers trope, along with Atlas trying to convince Felicia to secretly spy on Jack, but in the end, they fall in love and have a lot of sex. Very very in-depth sex. More in-depth than I am comfortable reading.”

“Is the sex accurate?” Sasha asks. Almost immediately, Tim goes bright red.

“Fuck! I don’t...I don’t know!” He stammers. “It’s not like I watched him have sex!”

“So he didn’t make you have sex for him or anything?” Fiona asks. “I thought he’d have at least one person he made you take his place for. He seems like the kind of asshole who’d do that.”

“He didn’t want me ruining his reputation,” Tim mumbles, still partially hiding behind the book. “He thought I’d get nervous and freeze up. Which, uh, I...I did do a few times.” He quickly shakes his head, taking a deep breath. “But that’s beside the point. The point is, this is an awful book! Not only is the grammar awful, but the story structure doesn’t even make that much sense.”

He puts the book down, dragging in a box with a bunch of pieces of paper inside.

“I’ve written down my complaints,” he starts tacking up pieces of paper on the board with thumbtacks. “Firstly, how did Atlas manage to contact Felicia again after she gets onto Helios? They say in the book that all her Atlas tech is destroyed and go into great pains to describe how the bandits discarded her personal belongings and ripped off her clothes. There’s no way they’d even know she was alive, especially with how many precautions Jack takes to keep people from knowing she’s there. And they don’t even give any explanation for how Atlas figures out she’s on Helios! Second, why on Earth would Jack bring a woman he didn’t even know onto Helios? Sure, he thinks with his dick most of the time, but he didn’t get to be CEO of Hyperion by accident. Do you have any idea how paranoid he was? I couldn’t even take a piss in peace the whole time I worked for him...”

The next few minutes are filled up with Tim picking apart every inaccuracy and issue with the book, with a healthy dose of him complaining about what a dick Jack had been to work for. No one stops him A good portion of his rant is also taken up by him talking at length about how this was not how sex worked.

“Has this person ever had sex? Because this is not how it works. I can count on one hand the number of sexual encounters I’ve had, but none of it was ever like this. I mean, for fuck’s sake! I don’t think this person has ever even seen a vagina, much less tried to bring the owner pleasure!”

The more notes he tacks up on the board, the more disheveled he gets. His sweater is quickly discarded, his hair comes out of its ponytail, and his shirt becomes untucked. Sasha and Fiona can be heard laughing uproariously at various points throughout the video.

“Also! The creatures!” Tim jabs a finger into another note. “This author has obviously never spent any time on Pandora because neither varkids nor skags act anything like this!” He turns briefly away from the board, gesturing to someone offscreen. “Joining me to talk about these inaccuracies is Sir Alistair Hammerlock, whose sister I am both very attracted to and incredibly afraid of!”

“I would very much prefer not to speak of my sister.” Sir Hammerlock walks in, looking a tad uncomfortable. “Saying her name tends to summon her. Like some sort of witch.”

“Then let’s talk about skags and varkids and how they’ll kill you!” Tim says brightly, with an almost unhinged smile.

“Well, that is something I’m more comfortable with.”

Sir Hammerlock launches into a speech about the finer points of skag and varkid biology and behavior. Not all of it is relevant to Tim’s critiques. Most of it is not relevant to Tim’s critiques. But it gives Tim some time to collect himself and look less like an insane professor. And Sir Hammerlock seems so delighted to be talking about the fauna of Pandora.

“In conclusion,” Tim says when Sir Hammerlock has finished. “Please don’t try any of what you read in this book. You will die. Painfully. Probably screaming.”

“Yes. Quite.” Sir Hammerlock nods, glancing at the notes Tim has tacked up and Tim’s still rather disheveled appearance. “I’ll be seeing myself out.”

“We’ll be sending your payment in the mail!” Vaughn calls after him. Tim turns his gaze back to the camera, gleeful and giddy once more.

“This book is so bad.” He giggles. “I hate it so much. Which is what makes this next part even better.”

“Should I get out the trashcan?” Sasha asks.

“Yes. It is time.” Tim’s smile grows. Sasha appears with a large metal trash bin, which she deposits in front of Tim. Tim drops the book into the trash bin and Fiona appears to squirt some sort of liquid inside. It’s quickly clear that this liquid was lighter fluid, as when Tim strikes a match and drops it into the trashcan a pillar of flame shoots up.

“The evil has been cleansed!” Tim cackles, sounding eerily like Jack. He’s illuminated eerily by the raging flames and actually looks a bit menacing. The camera cuts off after this, presumably so that they can put out the fire.

#borderlands #fanfiction #timothy lawrence #rhys the company man #vaughn the money man #sasha the kid sister #fiona the con artist #sir hammerlock

27 notes · View notes