#we didn't get to do anything the last few years because of all the pandemic stuff

[naomiknight-17]

I've decided for my 15th wedding anniversary, I'd like to visit the Mütter Museum in Philadelphia

I have... a bit less than 2 years to save up for the trip

I wanna see the soap lady

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

Wibta if I refuse to talk to an alter in a system because I had a weird experience with them?

This is something that happened somewhat recently.

So for background, I (16nb) have been dating my boyfriend (17m) for about two years now, we were introduced by a close friend of mine during covid and got together sometime during the pandemic. Now, my boyfriend is a system, he found out about a year to a year and a half ago (this was during the pandemic, and my sense of time is wonky at the best of times.) Now, this doesn't change anything about him. I still love him just as much and I accept him and have zero problems with this.

The only reason it's relevant is because a couple days ago me, him, and another friend of ours (17f) went to a mini con type of thing, the day was great! Nothing went wrong at all we all had fun. But at the end we were all chatting and someone else was fronting at the time (I'll just call them A) and A isn't... The nicest person to be around? In source they're evil, and I know that source doesn't define an alter and not to judge them based on that, I don't! Just to be clear. But they've always been kinda snappy towards... Everyone, but I didn't think much of it because some people are just like that, y'know.

Another important piece of information is that most of the time me and my boyfriend talk online, we don't go to the same school or work the same job or anything like that so we use discord to talk most of the time, so it's been a few weeks since I've last seen him in person and A had only just formed about a week prior to this (or had just started interacting with others at least.) So, I was talking and I made a little joking comment about someone from A's source that they... I don't think like is the word, more of are slightly obsessed with? I didn't think anything wrong with it (a mix of I've joked about this before while they've been in the front room w/ my bf or even with them in front in call and they never said anything, it was pretty late, and my medicine that keeps me up was starting to wear off which made me tired and my filter drops a lot when I'm tired.) Anyway, I didn't think anything was wrong with it until they grabbed my shoulder super tightly.

I think they might have threatened me but I have not only an extremely low pain tolerance but I just do not remember Anything but the basics of what happened when I get scared or frightened like that (I just do not deal well with being touched without permission and especially grabbed and it sets off my anxiety a Lot.) Luckily nothing else happened, our other friend intervened and A was dragged out of front, my boyfriend was worried for me but I did just shrug it off because we had fun and it was ending so I didn't want to risk the rest of the night being spoiled by me being a little nervous.

I was fine at the end, there wasn't even a bruise or anything.

But, here's where I'm worried I might be the asshole, I get sort of nervous at the idea of talking to A again, and to my knowledge they've been "jailed" in the headspace. But I do get super nervous at the idea of it, and it may just be my anxiety talking but I don't want to seem rude for not talking or interacting with my boyfriend or the rest of his system just because there's someone else that's fronting or co-fronting who I had one bad experience with.

What are these acronyms?

[statementlou]

Louis might not be chucking bricks at No. 10, but people are responding like he’s never displayed leftist politics or challenged a government position on anything. He supported demands to the government about a fix for UK touring musician post Brexit and Marcus Rashford’s petition about food insecurity. He fought the police about their social media use in 2018 and criticised the UK government position/support for factory workers in the pandemic. The things he speaks about are usually UK issues and meaningful to him or his family and friends. He’s also most likely to speak when he isn’t working. Also that specific anarchy has a punk anti authoritarian message as well. That statement fits Louis pretty well. He has been a poster boy for not sitting down and shutting up and doing what you’re told since 2012. If he was he probably wouldn’t have a solo career and he definitely wouldn’t have sold out the O2.

I like this point about him speaking out more when he's not working, I think that's a really great and useful observation and makes so much sense. I feel like it makes sense in two ways right now: like first, I don't blame him for not wanting to do things that would jeopardize how beautifully everything is going for him right now after the number of setbacks and troubles he's had to get here, it must feel so precarious. And knowing for a fact that any political statement you make will spawn a dozen tabloid stories and all kinds of outrage is bad enough, but add to that the fact that it's simply impossible to predict which thing will turn into a huge viral mess- it's a lot. And second, he's not just working, he's been on TOUR! I've been around musicians my whole life and one constant is that tour is time outside of normal time and life, it's a bubble, it's only paying attention to right where you are and what's in front of you and the people there with you and everything else is put off and neglected, is for when you get home (and have massive post tour letdown depression and fatigue). I'm not saying he can disconnect with the outside world entirely... but putting everything on pause? I would be surprised if it were any other way, and I would be surprised if he's been following the news and counter news and so forth closely enough to feel comfortable speaking out publicly about anything when it will be so scrutinized and picked apart. I would add to your list supporting the rail strike (something we wouldn't even know about if it hadn't been tossed in as an aside by an interviewer in the print only version of a piece, he didn't post about it or anything) and attending and posting about the BLM protests (not to mention telling people to pirate his stuff come on how punk is that), and I agree he is much more likely to speak out about UK issues which makes sense: most people are most moved by issues that are close to their lives in some way, and it's his brand. And I agree that even though as an anarchist I love talking about what anarchism as a political ideology actually is, the symbol does also have a common meaning in the world as just basically standing for anti-authoritarianism, and Louis as a guy who rejects authority and the status quo is nothing new at all and one of the reasons we love him, and in the last few years I feel like he's been going further in that direction both aesthetically and politically, and we love to see it! Plus he has pretty much always sported this slightly punky aesthetic to some degree, even when he was being dressed up like a little ken doll he snuck in skater looks and indie band tees and so forth (something something it's part of why his fanbase was so primed to love his new sound and it wasn't the risk he feared it was because people were always drawn to him who were already into that aesthetic even when his sound wasn't that yet) it's not like it's just a brand new out of nowhere side of him or something.

[ingravinoveritas]

MY GOODNESS THAT TV INSIDER SNIPPET WHERE YOU CAN SEE THEM MOVE PHYSICALLY CLOSER TO EACH OTHER IN ABOUT 20 SECONDS. UGHHH. DAVID WAS LITERALLY HALF OFF HIS SEAT TO BE CLOSER TO MICHAEL

Hi, Anons! Oh, gosh, I love both of these so much. Putting them together because I think there's a definite connection worth discussing.

So first, Anon #2 I know you must be referring to the new interviews with Michael and David that have come out the past few days (on Screen Rant Plus, Movieweb, etc.). Anon #1 is referring to another clip that just came out today, so I'll put the video up here for anyone who hasn't seen it and then discuss it further down this post:

Anon #2, how beautifully you have phrased your observation, and I could not possibly agree with you more. I've noticed a lot of people saying that Michael and David look sad or miserable, but I don't think that is the case at all. Well, a couple of things: 1) We have no idea when these interviews were recorded, though if I had to guess I'd say within the last month or two, and if that is the case, Michael was still directing/working nonstop on The Way, so that would explain him looking tired (along with running around after two little kids all the time). 2) I'm fairly certain that a large part of them not looking at each other is because they are trying not to give anything away about the second season, and Michael and David both know they won't be able to keep quiet if they make even the tiniest bit of eye contact.

3) I fully agree with your assertion that the lack of staring shows how close Michael and David have become, because to me, it also means that they no longer feel a need to be "on" around each other. They've both spoken in the past about how much they hate doing interviews/photo shoots, and that it became far more bearable when they had each other. That was the case four years ago, and now we've all gone through a global pandemic and some of the darkest times in our lives. That naturally strips away any sense of pretense--seeing someone at their worst, or when they're sick or afraid. I get the feeling that Michael and David have been through all of that and where so many other relationships/marriages fell apart, their relationship is even stronger now as a result. They love and accept each other exactly as they are, and it shows.

Finally, 4) What you said about Michael not staring at David makes my heart ache and seems so true. On the season 1 press tour, he was already in love, but didn't know when they would see each other again. I'm reminded of that one interview where they both suddenly seem to realize the press tour is coming to an end, and they don't know when they'll see each other next:

"Can we just...see each other? For no reason?"

He doesn't even have to ask that question now. Michael doesn't have to keep his eyes on David every moment because he has already memorized his whole face, the stubble on his skin, the softness of his lips. And he knows with perfect certainty that he will never be without David in his life again.

And this all fits in beautifully with the video you've mentioned, Anon #1, because they absolutely do move closer to each other in that video, and not only does it look like they did it completely unconsciously, but David seems to actually mirror Michael:

Michael is the first one to move closer, as we see above, and then right after he does, David moves closer. And again, they're not staring at each other the whole time. nor do they seem to be playing up their "personas"--Michael and David are just being themselves, and their natural inclination is to be close to each other. (Also, Michael's fucking wiggle right after he moves is killing me, because I think he only does that when he's very, very happy...)

Absolutely beautiful. I so appreciate you both sharing your thoughts with me, Anons. Thanks for writing in! xx

[thequeenofmyownscreen]

Yesterday night was our last session of my first D&D campaign ever

Last night we drank merrily, saying goodbye (for now) to the 4 adventurers in my first D&D campaign ever, for which I was the DM (1st time ever also). I feel very happy and a little sad also, so I thought I could write it all up here - mostly for me, and for you reading if that interests you.

It was more of a Wrap-up session, we didn't play per se, but I wanted to recap the last scenes, and give the floor to my players to ask some questions and discuss what we've been doing. It was a good idea, I think, it went great, we had time to reminisce and remember the beginnings, the roads not taken and the what-ifs, the monsters and the battles they were traumatized by, and what their characters would do now.

Flashbacks and sneak peeks and more thoughts under the cut

When I started to watch Critical Role, I had no idea what D&D was. All I heard were mentions of it in media (tv shows, mostly). It intrigued me more and more, and I started to look at the rules, and the books published, etc. And then one day on an impulse, I bought the Starter Set : Lost Mine of Phandelver, and sent a message to my sister and some friends, asking if they were interested to see what it was about with me.

In April 2021, with my sister and 3 friends, 4 players in total, we created their characters, and we started truly playing in May 2021. At first, we played only once a month, in person, because Roll20 is awesome for battles but not much for anything else (personal opinion). Plus we were going out again after the pandemic, it felt nice. Then in June 2022, one of my friends and players decided to leave, and we recruited another friend at the same time, so I still had 4 players to manage through and through. They were all pretty much novices like me (only 1 had played before), and so we all learned together during the years. In multiple ways ! small but important things like : who's taking care of the scheduling, who's time is it to host and what food & drink will we bring, who has many dice and can lend them, how can we figure the characters without buying expensive minis (we ended up using fèves, which is a very French thing I will explain now : at the beginning of the year, you gather your friends or colleagues or family or whatever to eat the galette des rois, literally cake of the kings, and whether you make it or bought it, there is always inside 1 very small porcelain figurine, and the person finding it gets to be King/Queen for the day. Yeah it's the same country who decapitated the last king, don't ask. Anyway sometimes people collect the small porcelain figurines, and then their grandchildren sell the collection, and we ended up with a lot for practically nothing.).

In late 2022 and throughout 2023, we decided to try and play more, and managed - with a few exceptions - to play twice a month, which we found was a good rhythm : for me, to not have too much prep work, and for my players, to not forget everything that happened last time. In the meantime, another friend of mine with whom I am having lunch at work with very regularly, got used to hear me talking about "the shit my players did last night" and was very interested in following this as a story ; she asked questions, and gave me a space to think, and even ended giving advice and suggestions ! I'm naming her my unofficial co-DM now. It was nice to have someone know all the twists and the structure of the story, and to exchange ideas and jokes.

One thing I was very happy to do, and was very happy when my players talked about it saying I did a good job : PROPS ! The adventure as written has a few examples of message of hiring mercenaries, strange letters sent by a mysterious figure, etc etc. For one, I took time to write in ink (in my teenage years I was obsessed by calligraphy and I still have a quill), and for another I passed the paper in coffee and tea and then dried it to give it an ancient look. Props like this costs nothing but it's awesome.

During 2022 and 2023, 2 of my players had moved far away, but we managed to set up remote video calls for them, while us 3 others gathered 'round the table, and we even had an elaborate if precarious system to film the map during battles (pictured down). And yes for the final dungeon, I printed the map in extra-large, and ended using the wall to show the progress in exploring !

I won't recap all of the story, it doesn't matter in the end, everyone who's ever played knows that you can do an adventure 30 times and it will end up in 30 different stories. What's interesting was that the Lost Mine of Phandelver is described as "a perfect campaign to start playing" : that I agree with ; but that doesn't mean it does not need work. Thankfully the Internet is awesome, and since it's the most played adventure of 5E, a LOT of people have advices, do nots and dos, stories of their own campaigns, useful links and tools, etc. 1st lesson : if it exists already, use that shit. Use it like the world is ending tomorrow. At the start, I was doing this on my own volition, and prepping way too much, while being scared to change things. Then I was inspired reading reddits posts (yes, it happens), and seeing videos, and I started adding more details of my own - or stuff I borrowed from others Internet strangers. The paradox was that I was getting more comfortable while prepping less, because... I got the hang of it, I think it's what happened !

I still have some frustrations, some I shared last night with my players : easier-than-expected batles for my players (the 1st was a conscious act of mercy, and the battle ended way too quickly of course ; the 2nd was I forgot an important detail of the villain's weapon and could not use it, but in the end she had other stuff and the battle was still epic). 2nd lesson : listen to Matt Mercer when he says that as a DM, you really want to use the nuclear option in your opponent’s arsenal on the opening round. If you don't, you will have regrets. My other big frustration is about the player that decided to leave ; we just didn't understand the game on the same-level, but it makes me a little sad that she left before it could click for her, and we could truly talk about it. Especially since last night, I was overjoyed listening to my players talk each about their "epiphany" of how the game works, and how they got comfortable after feeling this truth, and seeing how "you don't win at D&D, the fun is everything else", and I was like yesssssss YOU you get it. 3d lesson : communication ! (it feels like there's still room for improvement, but we have a nice flow going).

All and all, it was an amazing experience, 10/10, will do it again ; and we will ! we agreed we will come back years from now to Faerûn ! and I'll be back as a DM ! and we'll do another written campaign continuing from level 5 (I know there's written options out there). In the meantime though, my sister is leaving our group just for this year, but we're going to keep playing at 4. And this time, I'll be a player !! One of my former players, the amazing @greetingsprogramms will be our DM : she already did 2 one-shots throughout the 2 years, and she did a fantastic job. We're going where a lot of fantasy people have not gone before : spaaaaaaace !

[dopaminestarvedsim]

Thanks for the tag, @ethicaltreatmentofcowplants!

What's your Resolution for your Simblr?

First of all, to be very honest, I just want to keep doing this! I've had so many lil side hobbies end up in the ADHD hobby hopping graveyard, but this has been so fun for me and I've already seen my building get better. Something about having some community (hi, mutuals! thanks for interacting! you give me motivation!) to share my creations with keeps me excited about trying to get better at building - which would be my other resolution, I think. Building and exploring challenges & rotational gameplay.

What do you want from the Sims Franchise?

[Confession: The Sims 4 is the first Sims game I've ever played. I actually never played video games as an adult (beyond the random testris/solitaire on my phone) until the pandemic hit when I got a switch to play ACNH and my brother-in-law told me if I liked that I needed to play The Sims. And it's been ridiculous since then, to the point that I have all the freaking DLC and everything. 🤦🏼‍♀️ With that being said, I feel so new to the Sims community, that I've never been very critical about the game. Most of the time, I find the glitches hilarious (see my last post with the infant spider arms from hell) and I don't have anything to compare the gameplay to that would make me feel disappointed. I can DEFINITELY see the criticisms and agree with them, but I guess I'm more easily able to take the game for what it is and mod the shit out of it to play how I want to be able to play. And since I didn't play the older games, I don't spend much time pining for other elements that are missing in the Sims 4. I just don't know what I'm missing. There's also still SO MUCH I haven't even played with in the DLC I've already bought.]

I do think fairies would be fucking cool though. 🧚🏼‍♀️

And it would be even cooler if my sims didn't get burnt out on their second days of work. Especially when they're in a career that matches their skills and interests. Like tf? We need some realistic tuning to some of these gameplay mechanics, for sure.

Oh, oh, and I really hope they continue to collaborate with Simmers. I think that's really cool, because they know what the average Sims player wants more than anybody.

Any other New Years Resolutions?

First and foremost, my focus is to keep my nervous system better regulated. But I also want to get outside in the sunshine and move my body more. I've been so sick the past few years that I've become very deconditioned, so the goal is to very carefully start to build my strength back up. 🥲

I also want to get to the point where I'm able to save money again. Specifically, I would like to get to the point where I can afford to start a separate savings "pocket" in my business account to save for EMDR training!

TAGGING: feel free to play along if ya wanna, @acidheaddd, @d4isywhims, @simstrashkingdom

[daylighteclipsed]

My straight (homophobic at that time) older brother watching me play kh II 15(?) or so years ago on the ps2: 'these dudes are gay, wtf' 'why are they holding hands?'

My brother watching me replay the kh games at the start of the pandemic: 'Damn, I remember them being gay, but not this much. Good for them.'

I literally didn't even remember how extremely gay they were, cause I was 10 at the time but fr. If my brother saw it aged 15, I don't get how so many people keep saying it's a reach to ship them.

dshhdhefidhdhsg

See the thing is like. Holding hands is not always romantic, you know? Idk if I even consider Sora dropping to his knees crying and clutching Riku’s hand in KH2 “romantic.” Not on its own, at least.

It’s a very intense reaction. Imo it’s still the most emotionally bare we’ve seen Sora thus far. Because he’s not trying to hold anything back. In KH3, when everyone except Riku dies, I get the sense that Sora’s trying to keep it together but can’t and feels (even more) pathetic because of that. But, in KH2, when Sora finally finds Riku, his heart’s just unashamedly spilling out of him and it’s so raw you can feel it, and Nomura is so insane for writing Sora and Riku’s reunion like this. (It’s going to take a lot to top it, and I’m really excited to see him try.)

But it’s not the kind of gesture you can slap a romantic label on and be done with. Rather, it shows this profound, overwhelming love in general. You could label it a lot of things, but Nomura’s choice to make this Sora’s most vulnerable moment communicates This is the person I feel the most for. This is the person I love the most. (And even if we do consider Sora’s vulnerability here on the same level as the KH3 scene, what does it say that just finding Riku, just seeing him again, is as overwhelming for Sora as witnessing the deaths of almost all of his closest friends? Opposite sides of the emotional spectrum, but the same level of intensity, bringing him to his knees, reducing him to tears. That’s a choice.)

My straight boyfriend played the games along with me and even he picked up on Sora’s love for Riku being stronger than his love for any other character. We commonly associate “the person I love most” with a romantic partner, but it doesn’t necessarily have to be. And I’m quite a big fan of stories where it’s not, where the heart of the story — the love story — is between family or friends. So I won’t be hugely disappointed if KH ends with no confirmed ships. (No ships would be preferable to… other things.) That said… when viewed collectively, in the context of the other games, I don’t think it’s a stretch to argue Sora and Riku’s KH2 reunion could be romantic.

Every game makes the love between these two boys more and more pronounced — they are clearly the heart of the story — but the last few installments arguably have slid into more romantic territory. We’re seeing more romantic tropes, dialogue, parallels. We’re at the point where Riku’s feelings for Sora are directly paralleled to Hercules’ romantic feelings for Meg. I mean, that’s pretty in your face gay. Among other things. So while on its own the KH2 reunion is not “romantic” imo, the increasing romantic nature of Sora and Riku’s bond can re-contextualize it as such.

If you didn’t pick up the gay shit CoM was putting down (which is highly probable because the EN dub butchered the JP so much), 15 years ago, was the ship a reach? Eh, maybe. I didn’t consider a romance between Sora and Riku until I hit Coded and DDD. (And there’s nothing wrong with enjoying a noncanon ship, as long as you’re not hurting anybody — which is something a lot of people seem to forget.) Is Soriku a reach nowadays? No way. It’s written as a logical direction their characters could go in. If you don’t see anything between them, not a single romantic undertone, it’s because you don’t want to.

[f4kef4ngs]

did i ever talk about how i graduated high school because its honestly pretty fucking funny. i had been a straight A and occasional B student for a while so my guidance counselor thought I was like too smart to be depressed or smth??? anyway she didn't fucking help me at all. she and my teachers would always bug me abt college plans and I'd always say I'm not interested in doing anything at all because there's nothing I like (obvious sign of really bad depression!) and they would kinda just shrug and say "ok well choose smth anyway :)" as if that made a difference or gave me any sort of guidance. so then my senior year the pandemic happened and we switched to online classes for our last few months. I was really fed up with how little they did to help (they did absolutely nothing. my mom and I had filled out the paperwork ages ago to get me an in school therapist who never came. wonder why!) and I was also not understanding the online shit at fucking all bc I need someone in the room to tell me exactly what to do at all times. so I just emailed my dogshit guidance counselor one day basically saying (paraphrasing here, this was 4 years ago) "hey so I've been an honor student for like forever and never got in trouble and my teachers like me. I don't get this online stuff so basically I'm not doing it anymore. you can explain it to my teachers k thx byeeee" and just completely stopped doing any school related shit. and somehow, some way, that worked and I was passed for all my classes. yeehaw

[austinsgirl]

Rather Die | Chapter 17

word count: 2787

no warnings (:

cross posted on wattpad

masterlist

leave me all your thoughts!

————————————————————————

Austin wakes up to the smell of fresh homemade snickerdoodle cookies coming from the kitchen.

"Hey Vic, what's all this?" he asks, walking into the kitchen with just his grey sweats on.

"Oh hey- 

Victoria gets caught off guard, not expecting him to walk in & walk in wearing what he's wearing.

"I'm just making cookies to take over to your sister's later. I hope that's alright. I just want to make a good first impression on your family." she finishes.

"Yeah, that's fine. I'm sure they'll really appreciate it."

"I would have made a pie, but it was such short notice that I was joining you so cookies it is."

"You know, you didn't have to make anything. It's not like you're my girlfriend & you really have people to impress."

"Yeah, but I am your baby mama, so I do need to make a good impression. Your family is about to become my family in some way."

"I guess that's true. Watching the parade?" Austin looks over to the TV from the kitchen.

"Yeah, I'm waiting for the Rockette's to come on. I've always loved them and it's a dream of mine to go."

"Weeeellll, I am hosting Saturday Night Live next month, so maybe you can come with me to New York & I'll take you."

"You'd do that?" Vic asks in awe.

"Yeah, of course." Austin smiles. "I'd love to. Consider it your Christmas present from me."

"That would be amazing, Aus. Thank you." she hugs him. 

Austin feels butterflies in his stomach as she squeezes him tight. 

"Can Ashton come too?" Victoria asks, making those butterflies disappear.

"Sure. The more the marrier." 

It's definitely not what Austin had in mind, but he knows it'll be easier to let him tag along.

"We can probably go that Sunday night after SNL. I'll be in rehearsals all that week." Austin mentions. "I'll look into tickets for us, and I'll see if Ashley wants to go too."

"Ashley is your sister, right?"

"Yeah. She's going to SNL to see me host. She's really my biggest supporter."

"Even more so than your dad?"

"Yeah, I would say so. Don't get me wrong, our dad is very supportive of me, but I think Ashley is just a tad more supportive."

"Do you think your family will like me?" Victoria asks him.

"I think so. I don't see why they wouldn't."

"So, who's all going to be there?"

"My dad, his parents, Grandpa Michael & Grandma Linda, Ashley & her husband Tony, my mom's mom, Grandma Karen, then my Aunt Hilary & her boys, which are on my mom's side."

"What about your grandpa on your mom's side?"

"He passed a few years ago."

"Oh, Aus. I'm so sorry to hear that."

"Thanks, Vic. I was able to say goodbye thankfully."

"I'm glad you we're able to. I was stuck here during the pandemic when my grandma passed back home in New Zealand. She was already battling cancer, then she got hit with Covid, so her body just completely gave out. I had plans to go see her too that year, but of course it all got canceled."

"Damn. That's rough. I'm sorry."

"Thanks. I went back last year. It was weird going to the cemetery to visit her & not to her house."

"I bet."

"I'm so nervous to meet your family. Like what if they don't support our situation?"

"If they don't, they don't. This baby is ours, whether they like it or not."

"Okay."

"If they don't support, it'll be okay. I know my family, and once they meet our cute little baby girl, they'll get over it."

"You did tell your family about the baby, right?"

"Yeah. Well, I told my dad & Ashley. I think my grandparents and aunt know."

"Okay, good. I don't want to go in there with this baby bump and have them freak out."

"Did you tell your family?"

There's a silence from Victoria after Austin's question.

"You didn't tell them, did you?" he asks.

"Nooo, I haven't. I just know my mom is going to flip because I'm having a baby out of wedlock, even though she had my two oldest brothers while in high school."

"You have to tell them, Vic."

"I know, I know. I will soon because I have to break it to them that I won't be going home for Christmas."

"Invite them here."

"Seriously?"

"Yeah! We can do a joint family thing here. Our families meet, I meet yours."

"I don't know, Aus. That would be a lot of people & I don't know how my mom will act. She can be so nosy when it comes to my relationships with men."

"But we're not in a relationship."

"But we're in some sort of situationship, so."

"I think it'll be fine. They'll meet eventually anyways. They're all related to our daughter."

"You're right. I'll talk to my mom about it."

"Good. How many siblings do you have, anyways?"

"Three older brothers, and one older sister."

"Aw, you're the baby of the family just like me."

"Mhm. There's fourteen years between my sister and I."

"Damn, so really the baby."

"Yep."

The oven beeps and Victoria takes the last pan of cookies out of the oven.

"Can I have one?" Austin asks, gearing towards the cookies that are on the cooling racks.

"Yeah, go for it. I'm sure there will be extra anyways. Also, I want to know if they're good before taking them over there." Vic replies. "I haven't baked in a while."

"Holy shit, these are really good!" Austin says after taking a bite.

"Really? You think so?"

"I really do think so. They're great, Vic. I didn't know you could bake."

"Yeah, I've always loved to bake things like cookies, cake, brownies, etcetera."

"A reason why you're going to be a great mom."

"Because I can bake?"

"Yeah, I feel like all great moms can bake. I mean, mine could."

"Thanks, Aus. That's really sweet."

"Of course, babe."

"Babe?"

"Sorry, habit. Didn't mean to call you that."

"It's okay." she gives him a puzzled look.

The sound of the reporters of the parade come from the other room, announcing that the Rockette's will be up next.

Victoria scurries into the living room and sits down on the couch so she won't miss anything. Austin chuckles and smiles to himself at how cute it is that she's so excited to see the Rockette's on TV.

Austin joins her on the couch to watch. He fights the urge to put his arm around her shoulders. He wants to so bad, but that would be breaking boundaries.

In the middle of watching the performance, Victoria gasps and feels tears start to form.

"Aus...." she says to him. 

"What??" he asks confused.

"Oh my god..."

"What? What's wrong??"

"The baby just kicked..."

"She what?!"

"She just kicked! Wait, she's kicking again!" Victoria grabs his hand and places it on her belly where the baby is kicking. "Do you feel her?"

"Yeah, yeah I do." Austin responds as his eyes swell with tears, and he smiles wide.

"Wow, that's something I never thought I'd ever get to feel. This is so incredible."

"I know. I've never felt a baby kick before. I mean, makes sense as I've never been around someone who was pregnant before. I bet it feels so weird on the inside."

"It does, but also amazing at the same time. It really feels like I'm pregnant now, actually feeling her inside me. I felt flutters before but this is just...woah."

"I'm never going to get over the fact that we're going to be parents."

"Neither will I. I prepared myself to not being able to carry, but actually getting a chance to with my chances being so low, is just something I will always be grateful for."

"I know this isn't the ideal situation you wanted to have a baby in, and I know I'm the last person you wanted as your baby daddy, but I'm glad it worked out this way. I couldn't ask for a better parenting partner. And I hope you know I will forever take care of you & our daughter for the rest of my life, even if we aren't on the best terms."

"Thanks, Austin. That really means a lot. And yeah, I wasn't ever picturing having a baby with you, but I'm glad it's with someone I can trust."

"You trust me? Never thought I'd hear that from you after what I did."

"It took me awhile, but yes, I trust you. Eliana on the other hand..."

"Yeah, no one trusts her." he laughs. "But I'm glad I've been able to earn your trust back."

"Me too." she smiles.

Hours have passed and the two of them headed over to Austin's sister, Ashley's house.

"Hey! Happy Thanksgiving!" Ashley greets Austin opening the door for them. 

"Hey Ash! Happy Thanksgiving!"

The siblings share a hug before Austin introduces Victoria to his family.

"Ashley, this is my friend & co-parenting partner? I don't know how else to say it, but um, this is Victoria. Vic, this is my sister, Ashley." Austin introduces them.

"Hi! It's so nice to meet you finally!" Ashley greets Victoria with open arms.

"It's nice to meet you, too!" Victoria responds.

Austin goes around the house introducing Victoria to everyone else.

"Vic, this is my dad, David. Dad, this is Victoria." 

"Nice to meet you, sir." Victoria shakes his hand politely.

"Nice to meet you too, Victoria. And please, call me David."

"Got it, David it is."

Victoria also met his grandparents, aunt, cousins, and brother-in-law.

She went into the kitchen and set the cookies she made onto the counter. 

"It smells great in here. Do you need help with anything?" Vic asks Ashley as she's basting the turkey.

"Uh, yeah! If you want, you can peel potatoes for the mashed potatoes! The potatoes are in the fridge & the peeler is in the third drawer to the left." she replies.

"I will get on it!" 

As Ashley, Victoria, and Aunt Hilary get dinner finished up in the kitchen, Austin is sitting in the living room with his grandparents & dad, watching football.

"Austin, how did you meet Victoria again?" Grandma Linda asks.

"We just filmed a movie together over the summer." Austin answers.

"Oh, that's right. Weren't you with that Hispanic girl?"

"Yeah, but we broke up."

"You sure moved on fast then, dear."

"Linda, they aren't together." Grandpa Michael tells her.

"They're not??" she asks.

"No."

"Then how'd she get pregnant?"

"We, uh, hooked up, Grandma." Austin says.

"Oh..." Grandma Linda says disappointed.

The room was silent until the team they're rooting for scored, and everyone cheered.

"Austin, help me set the table?" Vic pops her head into the living room.

"Yeah." he responds.

They go into the dining room and start setting the table.

"I think Grandma Linda, and everyone else is disappointed in our situation. Well, at least everyone in the living room." Austin says to Vic.

"Why do you say that?" she asks.

"Because Grandma asked how we met, and then she asked if I was with Eliana, and I told her we broke up, said I moved on fast, Grandpa had to remind her we aren't together, and then she asked how you got pregnant, and I told her we hooked up and the room went dead silent. I could tell she was disappointed that we aren't together & having a baby."

"I had a feeling someone would be disappointed & not super supportive."

"Yeah, well, they're older and traditional. What should we expect?"

"That's true."

Not long after the table was set, dinner was ready & everyone sat down to eat.

Of course, Victoria told her life story to his family after being asked where she came from, how she got to into acting, when she moved to the US, etc.

Austin played catch up with his family, giving all the details on the Elvis press tour, filming the new movie, and his other upcoming projects.

Eventually, it came down for them to answer the real questions.

"So, you two are going to raise this baby together?" David asks.

"Yes, we're going to co-parent." Austin responds.

"Victoria lives with you now, right?"

"Yeah, I moved in not long ago. It's been a lot easier on us with appointments & milestones. Like today, we both felt the baby kick for the first time." Vic smiles. Her reply gets smiles & awes from everyone around the table.

"And no wedding for you two?" Grandma Karen asks.

"No, no wedding. We're not together, we're just two friends having a baby together after a one-time thing happened. Victoria is seeing someone, and he's okay with what's going on." Austin answers.

"If you don't mind me asking, what made you decide to keep the baby?" David asks Vic.

"I've been told a few times before that it may be almost impossible for me to conceive, like my chances of getting pregnant we're very low. Since I was able to conceive, I decided that I wanted to do this, whether Austin was going to be apart of this or not. I didn't want to go the abortion or adoption route and give up my chances of being a mom in the future. I'll be super lucky if I ever get to conceive again."

"Oh, Vic. I'm so sorry to hear that you have fertility issues like that." Ashley says sympathetically.

"Thank you. When I first found out, I sobbed. I've always dreamt of having kids of my own someday, and that news just shattered me. It's definitely not how I wanted having a baby to go, but Austin has been so supportive, and just has been the greatest. David, you & Lori really raised Austin right." 

David gets choked up a bit, "Thank you, Victoria. That means a lot."

Austin got a little choked up too. "Thanks, Vic." he smiles at her.

"Of course."

Now that everyone is more aware of what's going on, during desert, everyone has loosened up and is really warming up to Victoria & the idea of her and Austin co-parenting.

"These cookies are so good, Victoria! You have to give me the recipe!" Ashley says to her.

"Thank you! We can exchange numbers and I'll send it to you."

"Sounds perfect!"

After everyone was full from dinner and sweets, they all relaxed a bit in the living room. Ashley had pulled out her photo box which contains many photos of her and Austin when they were kids. 

"Oh, look at this one! Here's Austin as a baby in the bathtub!" Ashley pulls it out of the box and hands it to Victoria. 

Austin blushes & covers his face, being shy and embarrassed.

"Aw, Aus don't be embarrassed! Look how cute you we're!" Vic says to him. "And it's not like I haven't seen you naked before." she jokes.

Victoria's joke made Austin shift in his seat, thinking back to the time where she did see him in the nude.

After awhile, Vic and Austin said they're goodbyes. Austin could really tell that his family really warmed up to Vic & just fell in love with her. They all gave her such big hugs goodbye & wished to see her soon. 

On the way home...

"I think they really liked you, Vic." Austin says.

"You think?"

"Yeah, I think so. Seems like they really got used to the situation pretty quickly, and seem okay with it."

"Definitely. You're family is really sweet, Austin. Ashley invited me to go shopping with her tomorrow. I told her we had plans to go, but we can join her."

"Oh yeah, she mentioned to me that she talked to you about that. We can go with her for sure. I'm glad you two get along really well."

"Me too."

Once they got home, Vic goes into her room and starts getting ready to check out for the night.

On his way to his bedroom, Austin stops in to her room.

"Hey, is there anything you need or anything I can do for you before we go to bed for the night?" he asks.

"No, I'm okay. Thanks though."

"Okay. I'm happy to help if you ever need anything. Just want to help you in anyway I can."

"I know. Thank you, Aus."

"Love you, too." he says kinda quickly and quietly, on his way out of her room.

It was silent for a second before Austin realized what he said. 

"Oh! I'm sorry, I-

"What did you say?" she asks him.

"I didn't say anything."

"Oh, okay."

"Goodnight."

And with that, Austin runs to room, saying "Shit, shit, shit." to himself. "I have to move on..."

---------------------------------------------------------

[purplesurveys]

1846

1 - What have you been up to so far today? Is that a typical thing for you to do on this particular day of the week?  It was definitely a busier Saturday than usual; I never spend the weekend squeezing in like 10 errands in a day unless I have a work event to begin with.

2 - Did you get a decent night’s sleep last night? How many hours sleep do you consider a decent amount?  It was okay! I fell asleep a little earlier than I thought I would, so it was nice to get a few extra hours in. The only thing I didn't like was that I woke up disoriented; I thought it was Monday and that I was running late for work, so I pretty much woke up with my heartbeat spiking.

3 - What is one silly thing that really gets on your nerves?  When people try to make small talk at the start of work calls. That was fine during the pandemic, but at this point, I swear I won't take it against you if you don't ask me how my weekend was or where I traleved during the Christmas break.

4 - Who was the last person you saw who wasn’t family? What did you guys end up doing together?  I saw my workmates and other agencies when we had to go to our client's office for a face-to-face meeting. We essentially went through like 70+ slides to brief the client on the final flow of our large-scale event this Sunday.

5 - Do you prefer hot or cold drinks overall?  Cold. I hate feeling like my tongue's getting burned.

6 - Do you own a decent set of waterproofs? If so, what do you use them for the most? If not, do you think that would be something you’d find useful?  Waterproof...what? Clothes? Phone case? Shoes? Hahaha. Anyway I don't think I own anything that's waterproof.

7 - Do you have any plans for the rest of the day?  I just need to finish this doughnut I'm eating lol, maybe take another survey after this...then I'll need to turn in early because I have an early start tomorrow.

8 - How often do you get your hair cut? When hairdressers were closed due to COVID, did you try cutting it yourself at home?  Probably like once a year. I never cut my hair during the Peak Pandemic Era – it helped that I had it trimmed literally a week before it all began, not knowing it was going to start.

9 - What did you wear the last time you left the house? Is that different to what you’re wearing at the moment? I went out today and haven't changed out of my outfit yet so I'll just enumerate what I have on – a purple cropped top + jeans.

10 - Would you rather have a relaxing beach holiday or a more active holiday in the mountains?  I'd love the beach as I can't remember the last time I had a beach trip + the mountains sound super isolating. It also reminds me of hiking, and there is no activity I hate more.

11 - Do you know how to tie a tie?  No. I kept the knot on my school necktie for like 14 years so that I could just always wear it like a necklace, lol.

12 - How old were you when you first had a sleepover at someone’s house? Did you miss home?  I think I was like 15 or 16 when I had my first sleepover. No, I was just mostly excited to finally be in a sleepover lol as I was never allowed prior. Woes of being a firstborn Asian daugher – you're 100% Test Subject A.

13 - How often do you spend time with your extended family? I would say once a month. We live very near each other.

14 - When you get up in the morning, do you have a set routine?  Yup. It's nothing special but it is my routine that I like to follow; any missing step and I'll get super bothered hahaha. Anyway, I'm an early waker, so I usually allot an hour to properly wake up and stay in bed catching up on social media/news.

Around 30 minutes before work, that's when I make my bed, take a quick shower and brush my teeth, fix myself a cup of iced coffee, then spend the remaining minutes clearing up emails that came the night before. They're simple things but it helps me SO MUCH to start work in a good/relaxed mood.

15 - Do you remember the last time you cried? Were they sad or happy tears?  Happy tears! I cried a little bit this afternoon watching a video of this kid reacting to Cody's win from last Sunday. I didn't cry watching him cry, but then he said "Everybody helped, everyone helped him" which was what broke me. That was such a wholesome thing to hear!

16 - What do you have planned once you finish this survey?  I really want to take one more of these but we'll see.

17 - What was the last thing you cooked? Did you cook from scratch or just heat something up? I don't cook. I buy most of my food.

18 - Are you a fan of hot chocolate? Do you like it plain or do you prefer to add things like whipped cream or marshmallows?  I'm picky. It needs to be like artisan hot chocolate and I'm usually willing to pay more for premium options as most hot chocolates here are really just Milo :(

19 - What caused your last injury?  Cooper nicked a bit of my fingernail when he got a little too excited play-wrestling with me for his toy.

20 - How many tattoos and piercings do you have? Do any of them have an interesting story behind them?  Zero tattoos. I got my earlobe piercings when I was a few months old so there isn't really a deeper story behind them haha.

21 - What kind of flowers do you like the best? When was the last time someone bought those for you?  I've always liked peonies. I can't remember the last time I got flowers.

22 - What’s the smallest thing you’ve ended a relationship over?  I've only experienced a failed relationship once.

23 - Would you rather order a starter (appetiser) or a dessert? Or would you be able to manage a full three courses? Appetizers. I don't like sweet things too much, so it's rare that I ask to stay long enough for dessert.

24 - How do you get most of your news, if you pay attention to it at all?  These days, Reddit.

25 - Have you or a member of your family been diagnosed with COVID yet?  My mom and sister had it simultaneously but fortunately they were asymptomatic as it could've possibly gotten. I got the worst experience of the bunch.

26 - Are you a vegetarian? If so, what persuaded you to stop eating meat? If not, is it something you’d ever consider?  No. I would consider it, yes, but I honestly don't have faith in myself to commit to it.

27 - Do you prefer rice or pasta? RICE. A day legitimately feels incomplete without rice...

28 - Is anything you’re wearing a gift? Who bought it for you?  Nah.

29 - What’s the dominant colour in the room you’re in at the moment?  White.

30 - Did you do laundry yet today? If not, do you need to do any before you go to bed?  Nope and nope.

[disease-danger-darkness-silence]

I'm rereading the Meet Death Sitting series by @bomberqueen17 because I never read the side stories and, let me tell you, it is surreal remembering that a lot of these were written during the early days of the 2020 part of the COVID pandemic. It took me back. I was so scared during those days, and angry.

When the lockdown went into effect (and Nevada was one of the first ones to implement it), my sister was in prison for a nonviolent, first-time offense: embezzling from a multi-billion dollar international gaming company. So... Unjustifiably, imo. I think theft crimes should be weighted by who you stole from and how much it effected them. And frankly, they weren't paying her enough to survive on, and she supervised TWO sports books.

She got sentenced in January and for some reason couldn't appeal, and then lockdown happened in March.

They were doing NOTHING for the prisoners.

She was in the Las Vegas prison doing hard labor in 125°+ weather and they weren't even providing a decent amount of calories to eat each day, let alone masks and hand sanitizer. She lost 100 lbs in prison, in a deeply unhealthy way.

A woman with a mental instability smuggled in a razor blade that she would hold in her cheek, next to her teeth, and when Ashley reported it, they did nothing. Ashley got transferred to a different bloc at some point because she was going to be doing food service work (she has a culinary education), but someone did get hurt by that woman. No consequences came for any of the COs (correction officers) or the warden.

Oh, and then they yanked Ash out of food prep and into heavy labor. Not sure why, because we got her records and there's no citations or anything on there. They just did it. I'm PERSONALLY assuming it's because I was calling daily demanding to talk to the warden or the supervisor on duty to demand better treatment. FFS, they were feeding them grade B, not fit for human consumption food. I was calling everyone I could think of and generally making a nuisance of myself, during a global pandemic, and while advocating for Ashley I also began advocating for her fellow prisoners. I wrote to the governor. I wrote to the Nevada Department of Corrections. I spent 8 hours a day harassing state officials (and politely talking to state workers who don't get paid enough for this shit), and I'm pretty sure her getting hard labor was punishment for her daring to have someone on the outside willing to make life a living hell for themselves and others for her.

We all nearly bankrupted ourselves keeping money on her books so she could buy extra food and special soap because she has a skin condition and they just give you harsh lye soap (no shampoo, no conditioner) at the Florence McClure Women's Correctional Center. She has an IUD that stops her periods so luckily she didn't need tampons the whole time she was there, because they ration them and if you need more, you'd better have some money to buy shitty dollar store ones at Target prices! (IIRC Ashley took her allotment and shared them around.)

We illegalized private prisons in Nevada a few years back but they acted like they still were one. You had to work or you couldn't apply for parole. They sold dollar store products at a massive markup. They didn't give her medical care for all but the last month or two she was there, and that meant she didn't have her ANTIDEPRESSANTS for most of the time. She was suicidal and depressed and anxious and most of all, she missed her daughter - my niece, who got displaced to live with my sister's ex-husband, who is an alcoholic, abusive bastard who supports Trump and used to make Ashley set an alarm on her phone so he'd remember when to beat her. That's who my niece had to go live with. He was mostly sober by then, but she was clearly miserable and every time she came to stay with Mom for visitation, she didn't want to go back.

Ashley spent 10 months in there before getting parole in mid October of 2020 - for a first-time embezzling offense that was the equivalent of stealing $5 or $10 from someone in the middle class. (Also adding, the Gaming Board DID NOT ASK for imprisonment, they wanted her on probation so she could get a job and do restitution. The guy who talked her into it? The abuser who found a domestic violence victim and manipulated her? He got probation, and it was his fourth gaming offense.)

The entire time, I was organizing book drives and fundraisers and harassing state officials to do something - some of you remember this, because some of you helped by sending her books and money, and I still cannot thank you enough. To this day, I go to bed every night thankful for you all.

But I was spending my daylight hours, and a lot of my nighttime hours, trying to fight for her. Her voice wasn't being heard so I would damn well amplify it.

A lot of the women there shouldn't have been. Nonviolent drug offenses that clearly needed psychiatric care and not imprisonment. A woman who killed her husband in self defense, caught on tape, but still imprisoned. Another woman who's boyfriend was dealing meth and she got the guilt by association thing - never came up dirty, complied in every way, and they threw the book at her. Prison should be for 1st and 2nd degree murderers, rapists, violent abusers, torturers, organized criminals, people who molest and groom children. Not these women. It was heartbreaking. I knew it was bad, but now I had secondhand experience and I would never wish that on anyone but the most heinous of human beings.

I had nightmares almost every night that Ashley would catch COVID and die, or that she'd figure out a way to kill herself. I didn't wake Raven (my partner, for those who may have forgotten) when I had them. I just read a little bit of fic, and then cried myself back to sleep.

_____________

I don't know that I ever thanked @bomberqueen17. She's been through a lot the last few years (including something I can empathize with - a parent death. I miss my dad terribly. It's been 7 and a half years and I still feel his loss). But... I never thanked her for getting me through 2020 in mostly one piece.

It was her fics that I read when I woke up after a nightmare. It was her fics that I read in the mornings as I woke up, drank coffee or an energy drink, and got my day started to begin campaigning against Nevada's DOC. It was her fics that calmed me down in between calls and it was her fics I read to keep from crying when my sister called me. I'd read excerpts to her (she hadn't seen the Witcher yet but she still laughed at the right spots) and I'd try to keep her cheered up by telling her about fandom stuff.

Like yes, I read other fics and authors. But it was her fics that made a difference and, I think, are the reason Ashley and I were fortified enough to fight for her rights.

So.... A very belated thank you, @bomberqueen17. I don't know that I could have survived that, in addition to everything else 2020 threw at us, without your writing.

Also thank you for this very succinct explanation of why significant age gaps can sometimes present a problem, in a way that isn't denigrating to those with youth. I've been trying to explain it to my 23-year-old for years, and others, but now I will just use this.

You're the best. I can't wait to read the rest of the series.

[skambigbang]

Meet A Mod: Beulaugh

Tumblr -> @if-music-be-the-food-of-love

Ao3 -> Beulaugh

Instagram -> Beulaugh23

What is your Skamverse story?

I found the Skamverse exactly when I needed it. On one of my many YouTube rabbit holes in October of 2019, I came across two boys goofing off in a grocery store. Immediately intrigued, I learned of Skam and simultaneously started watching wtFOCK season 3 live while catching up on Skam and Skam France, followed by Skam Italia and Druck. Within a few months I'd watched nearly every version multiple times and absolutely adored Sobbe. When the pandemic hit, wtFOCKDOWN gave me something to look forward to every day, and I will forever be grateful for that experience. From there, it was an easy jump into reading and then writing fics, joining the fandom on tumblr, making new friends, and finally participating in last year's bang. I'd never written fic before nor been active in fandom, but I loved the Skamverse so much that I felt compelled to join and participate. I needed to share that love with others. I needed to talk about it. More than anything though, writing Sobbe fic gave me an outlet and a safe place when I thought my world was crumbling around me. Robbe and Sander will forever hold a special place in my heart because they were there for me when I needed them.

Why are you excited to participate in the Skam Big Bang?

Community. There is something so special about being able to talk with others who love the thing you love as much as you do. I had a wonderful experience in last year's Bang, and I particularly appreciated the community we built on Discord. I'm excited about meeting new people, getting to know other people's Skamverse stories, and reading their fics and looking at their art. I'm excited to share our writing woes and act as cheerleaders for one another. I enjoyed writing and posting my fic last year, but what I loved most was having people to talk to about the Skamverse. That experience was everything, and I want to carry it into this year's Bang.

What would you say to someone who is feeling nervous about joining?

The Skam Big Bang community is very supportive and welcoming. I was new to the Bang last year and didn't know anyone. I found the Discord server intimidating at first, but it ended up being the most enjoyable aspect of the Bang for me. Everyone--mods, writers, and artists--was willing to jump in with an idea, a suggestion, some research, a gif to make you laugh, or a virtual hug. We are a diverse, worldwide community with a broad range of experiences. Wherever you feel like you might struggle, I guarantee someone will be there to support you along the way. Someone has been where you are.

If it's the deadlines and word counts that concern you, think about the timeline. There are 5 months between sign-ups closing and initial posting. Seven sentences a day or 500 words a week would put you over 10k. When you break it down like that, it feels like a much smaller task. Lastly, it's all about having fun, celebrating our love of the Skamverse, and creating new fanworks to share with others. Take a chance, and give yourself the opportunity to make friends and share your passion with others.

[statementlou]

why do you reckon the fitf tour north american venues are so much smaller than the european ones? ive noticed louis is playing in a lot of non-major cities (what he called “secondary markets”) so that’s part of the reason but even in the major cities like la and nyc he’s playing much smaller venues than the europe ones. do you think this was a deliberate choice? or maybe he couldn’t book bigger ones bc promoters didn’t think he could sell them?

LTHQ are absolute masters of data mining;* all the pre-Walls promo was clever little things that required us to give our locations to access it and let them see where engagement was and in what numbers and plan accordingly. So while Louis has himself said, I want to go to secondary markets because they don't always get people coming there, and there is likely an element of trying to fill in gaps from last tour a bit, some of the reason for those locations could be that they know something we don't- IE that there are people there who want a show! I assume they're still using those metrics and gathering new ones and booking him in the right size venues for whichever locations (last time they ended up being a bit small for a lot of US shows but the delays caused by the pandemic changed things a lot I think, I'm guessing they did their best with all the weird shuffling); you'll also want to take into account the fact that they will almost certainly be announcing more dates after they sell the first round of tickets tomorrow- I bet we'll get those pretty soon, like second nights in various locations. And there are a lot of US shows that are closer together than a lot of places; like in LATAM (and Europe) he'll play one show per COUNTRY you know, and here in the US they're driving casually from one to the next because they're denser (like Cincinnati and Cleveland are just a few hours drive apart). So that's one reason for smaller venues. But also, it's an outdoor arena tour! (So fun!) So I'm thinking size is perhaps not the only factor in the choices. I bet one of these cool outdoor arenas is the mysterious US venue he already has his eye on for the year after next's AFHF.... Anyway I didn't look at capacity everywhere or anything though but at least near me he is playing venues 3 to 4 times bigger than he did on Walls tour, so while they may be smaller than Europe if you're right- they are not small. Anyway while we're on the topic, did everyone see how today on the Rolling Stone stream when they said he was touring until Nov Louis looked straight into the camera and smirked and said "if that is the end"? Lmao. Anyway we should be getting the rest of the world dates soon, maybe some for before the US dates, probably some in the empty month (August) between US and Europe, and I guess definitely more after the UK too! When he said that, I was wondering if he'd do the same thing as Walls tour and go from smallest to biggest shows, starting with the US and ending with LATAM, but I guess we will see soon enough...

(*real data mining that is not stalking or whatever some people seem to think data mining is)

[ewebie]

2023: An Author's Review

I've gotten in the habit (over the past 10+ years) of posting an author's review of what I've done on AO3. Since I started my Patreon, I've been posting it here and sharing across Tumblr and Twitter (*cough* I mean X? *cough*). I think it's good to take stock, be honest about what was possible and look and what I want for the next year. So here it is:

2023... I am not sure I'd say "astonishing" but it was a year of surprises (good and bad). It was a busy and chaotic year, but I really have been on a healing journey and both mentally and physically am much better than this time last year.

Hubs and made a temporary (planned for one year) move across the Atlantic in 2022 and came back to Ireland in July 2023. I was working part/full-time with research and grant writing, doing hands on clinical and remote parts. I enjoyed it more than I thought I would, though it was much more sedentary than what I'm used to for a day's work. It's been rough coming back... the stress on the systems from the pandemic and (frankly) fucking conservatives ruining anything good has made remaining here untenable. After losing my FIL in the autumn and my own family having ongoing health scares, Hubs and I have decided to go back to the US in 2024... So... it's been a bit of a limbo.

Even with all the chaos of a move and work and... *gestures at everything* I did manage to accomplish a few things.

Summary of writing in 2023:

I set out with the goal of posting The Hayloft on a weekly posting schedule (without break) until complete. I'm SUPER proud of myself for managing that. It's >70k words and 38 chapters (with a 39th for ANs). Between the schedule, having 2 betas (thank you Paia and Sky), responding to comments, and the HTML bits of posting, it consumed a lot of my time (we won't mention that I finished writing it while posting)... But I'm very happy with the final product and with myself for keeping to the schedule.

In April, fresh out of 221B Con, I did a Mystrade Monday based on the prompt "Don't threaten me with a good time." It's a short one-shot, and lyric-based in title (Nod to Panic at the Disco) called Champagne, Cocaine, Gasoline. (because who doesn't want a damp Lestrade?)

So that brings us to May - when things started to get really busy as I prepped to move, and the Mystrade is Family collection, to which I submitted 2 fics. The first was in response to Paia sending me a tiktok: Mistakes Were Made (though not by me), tiktok is at the end of the fic. And I somewhat love Greg's much younger sister, Roxy. I also dipped back into the When You're Fast Asleep series with Think Happy Thoughts.

June and July were mental... packed up my life again, drove the length of the US, moved back to the other side of the Atlantic, moved BACK INTO my flat, repaired the car, resorted my jobs, lost my FIL, went back to the US for the funeral, went back to the US again for Thanksgiving. A lot of stress... not a lot of writing. But I did keep up with Hayloft posting and finished the end of September.

October, I took some of the nonsense in my real-life and the MRC server members' real-lives and made a fic strictly to name-shame people we met and or didn't like. Queue's Next was rather cathartic for that.

In November, I (finally) finished a fic for the RGBA for Lav. She'd asked for something in the Safety First/KKBB universe, and a pet... and we ended up with Blunderbuss. Because murder husbands needed an orange cat. And having dropped back into the Safety First universe, I added H is for Heel and I is for Industry Standards to the work.

Still a bit stuck in Safety First, I wrote a murder husbands Xmas fic with J is for Jingle Bells and put that up mid-December.

On Christmas Eve, I posted a soft short from the When You're Fast Asleep series called All Is Calm. The series really suits calm and warm drabble.

Because I was SO soft of Christmas Eve, I posted a SPICY short in Safety First on Christmas Day called K is for Knife's Edge. And just to round out the year, I dropped a New Year's Eve present with L is for Line of Sight. 

Overall, I published shy of 100k words (though, I only wrote about 70k... Hayloft was mostly written coming into 2023, but all of the posting was this year) with 16k hits and I now have 380 user subscriptions and 7000 bookmarks. It was a solid effort and I've spent the year only writing Mystrade -- though... I've expanded my reading ships (for this I blame BeautifulFiction).

Plan for 2024: Keep myself sane. I have another few chapters for Safety First in the works... there's something so very compelling about the murder husbands. I have 2 WIPs that are very nearly done and I just need to push through the last... 2k or so. So I hope to be putting those up in the first quarter. Be on the look out for The Marshmallow Experiment and Ambien Wife (though, those are both working titles). There’s a few bigger projects that I’ve back-burnered or have been plodding along with, including "the sad one" and "the Pretty Woman one" and some complex, multichapter things. Trello has been excellent this year to keep my bunnies sorted and in some sort of order.

Working titles of a few:

Lesser Things

Used Books

Wrecking Ball

The Time Has Come

Attack the Cheese Block

Of Legwork and Dogs Bodies

Make Yourself

Bad Santa

I hope to keep adding shorts to Safety First and Badges and 'Brellas (I didn't manage any in B&B in 2023... though, Champagne was short enough). I'm not going to aim for monthly new works, I know how much time and energy the move is going to take. I also will try to learn the new features here on Patreon and the collections thing... maybe organise this a bit better.

Many thanks to everyone who has beta'd works for me through the year (this year was mostly Paia -- many times for her many many sins, but also Sky for doing a French language beta on Hayloft, Anne and Stella for the on-demand, and Mousie for the murder feedback). Thank you to the Asylum (nee Jail) - you're all gremlins and I-A-Door-You! Thank you to the MRC for being just... whatever it is you are. And the OGC - because intercontinental chat groups are their own, special nonsense!

I want to thank my patrons (you can find me on patreon here... thank you for thanking me for existing!). Everyone that has left kudos and comments and reblogs and likes. Anyone who has dropped me a message or a thought and has generally enjoyed or encouraged my writing this past year. And those of you who followed Hayloft posting and commented along the way -- amazingly supportive! ILY all!!

[trilobiter]

I haven't mentioned it yet because I didn't really know what to say about it, but my wife and I got covid on our way back from vacation last weekend. Almost precisely three years after we cancelled our first attempt to go on this vacation because of, well, covid.

This is the first time either of us have ever tested positive for covid, and we have tested whenever we've felt sick. And this is definitely the sickest I've felt since I last had the flu, which was incidentally just before the pandemic began.

The scariest part for me was when she had a high fever for several days, and I didn't know how high it would get or how long it would last. We've both been vaccinated and received every available booster, but when it's all happening you just can't take anything for granted. Fevers are terrifying.

But the most physically miserable part for me is the sore throat. I've actually lost track a few times of how long we've been sick, partly because of not ever leaving the house, but partly because my throat has kept me from sleeping much of the last two (three?) nights. Part of the reason I'm even writing this is because I'm anxious about trying to go to bed now. The fatigue, the coughing, the congestion, the chills and aches; those are all just kind of icing on this sore throat cake.

Like I said, we're both vaccinated, and neither of us have needed to be hospitalized. She's taking paxlovid because of concerns about her chronic conditions: I was given the option, but the doctor said that my case appeared so mild that the side effects might not be worth it, so I passed. But mild or not, it's really been kicking my ass.

At this stage it seems like we'll probably come out fine in the end. But I looked up the statistics and it remains a fact that people are still dying of this disease. Nearly seven million people in the world are known to have died of it. There's probably more. Sobering thought when you can't sleep.

If you haven't gotten vaccinated yet, I can now recommend from immediate personal experience that you do. Take the appropriate measures to blunt the impact of this thing, because even when the blow is blunted, it still hits hard. This virus doesn't fuck around.

Gonna go try and soothe my throat enough to sleep long enough to not go insane now.

[thezfc]

"Everyone keeps saying they’re happy and in love because they have a child. Please realize a child does not = love. Didn’t she do an interview where she said a child wasn’t in her plans? Actually she did one where she said she felt pressure because of her age to be a mom. Also there was the pandemic so really they lost a year together. He was filming Loki she was filming MML. When the shut down was lifted that’s when we got the Ibiza pictures."

THANK YOU. Some common sense at last. How many people have we all heard of who had a fling or a one night stand and 9 months later oops a baby. NOT saying that's what happened with T & Z, and I don't believe all the nonsense about their relationship being for Pr or a contract or anything so don't jump me. I am one of the few people in the fandom who knew of her long before Tom, and I remember the interviews you mention above. Before Tom she was actually pretty adamant about not wanting to get married or have children, but then she has a baby with him ... and suddenly the narrative has completely changed to "well I always wanted to have a baby." Um no ma'am, you didn't. The fact is, she changed her mind, it was absolutely not something she always wanted. And maybe this means nothing. Who knows. Women can change their mind, I count myself as one of them. But my suspicious mind is thinking "hmmmm ... interesting. I wonder why Zawe changed her mind."

.