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themarvelhorse · 1 year

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Hi, Marvel! Hope you're doing well. Was wondering if you knew of any good causes or charities that could use more attention from folks wanting to make the world a little better.

Hello! I hope this isn't too late especially since this time of year has lots of groups and institutions asking for donations and stuff.

First off, thank you for contacting me! I appreciate you reaching out and believing that I would know a good answer to this! Bless you anon, I hope you're well too!

Second, uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Admittedly I can't quite say for sure which causes or charities could use more attention. I don't like to tell people who to vote for politically even though I secretly hope they do vote for one party over another. It's satisfying enough knowing that they'll vote.

But to that point, I would like to at least provide what you may need to know!

The Small Change Fund might be what you're looking for, but its very Ontario and environmentally focused right now.

CanadaHelps is a fundraiser dedicated to streamlining the donation process, which could go a long way if you don't know where to send your support.

This can probably give a general overview of who's doing fairly well I suppose.

Charity Watch and Charity Navigator I believe are both decent places to check if you're not sure about how well said charity is spending your goodwill, they're US focused mind you.

Charity Intelligence is Canada focused version of those American charity accountability orgs, gives grades based on their need for funding and other metrics too!

It's hard to really pin down and say who to donate to, causes or charities or otherwise. The world is handling some difficult circumstances right now, and everyone seems to need help. I know a local food bank received more donations than in the past few years, but that doesn't mean stop donating. Inflation (and oligopolic grocery corporations) have made it so they really need more help.

So your local food bank could be a good place! Or maybe another organization working towards a problem you've heard about recently?

I know the American Red Cross has had its scandals in the past, but the Canadian Red Cross seems alright, as do other Red Cross organizations in countries facing challenges of their own. You could also donate to their international version, like the main ICRC one. Hard to go wrong - the Red Cross has helped in Canada with covid response (and even "post covid" with the failing provincial health system), and they support climate change action and the like. Funds are always needed before disasters to adequately respond to them when they do happen.

You could also always donate to the Sustainable Development Goals. Despite what people say about the UN and how useful it is, I truly believe its better that it exists than otherwise. Setting the SDGs is a start to making things better. The UN can be a tool for colonialism, but I'll paraphrase Romeo Dallaire - the UN can be a force for good, but how good it is depends on the member states. Its voluntary, so projects at the UN rely on member states' money, or yours. Or your vote and voice if you tell your reps that you want them to help implement the SDGs. Think Elon Musk refusing to donate $6 billion to end world hunger.

Sorry, a bit ranty there. The SDGs are good because you have your choice of goals, or can split your donation evenly among them. It covers almost every basis of improving society/life on earth for everyone.

Your home region may also have an organization dedicated to improving democracy. The Democracy Engagement Exchange, Democracy Watch, Fair Vote Canada, and Apathy is Boring are all great causes to support, you may likely have something similar wherever you are!

I mention those because at its core, I think we have a lot of undemocratic stuff going on. Which worsens or outright causes all the other problems. Did you know Canadian food banks were supposed to be temporary? The organization Food Banks Canada is trying to eliminate the need for them. Policies like those that support affordable housing are needed. So when we have a policy failure, we have a political failure, a failure of democracy when people either don't vote or feel like their vote doesn't matter, or they don't have the time to participate. You may even want to donate to a political party you believe in. They do need your money to do what they say they'll do. It's like tumblr - kinda funny that they're trying all these things to make money, but the only other ways to keep it going would be to collect and sell your data, show more and more ads, and do all kinds of dumb stuff. If parties get donations, that's less they need from rich people/corporations that have it in order to campaign and win elections and stuff. You could donate to a party that has a lot more minority representation - that'd be even more likely to get widespread support for that minority group too.

ACORN Canada is a neat organization that supports low-moderate income Canadians, there might be something there for your region!

I'd say donate to climate change orgs - 350.org, David Suzuki Foundation, Sunrise Movement, the Climate Reality Project...

Truth is, there's lots of what feels like repetition. A lot of these orgs in the same field are competing for donations. They say things like they'll run ads to advocate for change, and more money lets them spread that influence (and ofc do other things). But like, why? Why can't they just pool money for this kind of work? Wouldn't that be more effective? I don't know honestly. I haven't worked for an NGO in any such way that I'd have insight. Wish I did...

(Sorry, gotta get back on track)

Leadnow is pretty neat since they cover a lot of the things I mentioned, all in one - equity, just society, environment, democracy. They ask what their members want them to focus on, and try to facilitate advocacy campaigns around it. They're also struggling to hit their fundraising goals this year.

Also consider donating to your local marginalized group. Spend money at their businesses and the like too! It can go a long way.

Another organization that facilitates the stuff we need to address all these other issues is the Tamarack Institute. Again, Canadian, but take a look and see if your region has something similar! They work on building better communities, which means resilience, climate action, ending poverty, helping youth, and addressing equity and inclusion. In that vein, the Community Tool Box is from the University of Kansas but is freely available to use (and donate to).

Oh, also can't go wrong with the Wikipedia donations of course.

I hope this isn't overwhelming - donor fatigue is a real thing, and its hard to feel like its worth it in the end. But it really does help~

I also realize I may not have mentioned many health care orgs, which you know is a concern for me since I've added my voice in the tags enough (what're u doin in my private but publicly available tag thoughts anyway HUH?! Jkjk I never realized this may come back to me someday lol). Truth is though, I'm not well versed in those - there's a lot and even individual hospitals around here need donations to fund what they do. It fuckin sucks.

In sum: Decide what you believe is important. Everyone from their own field will say their own thing is most important. It's hard to argue for or against it since I don't quite know every field. Causes that need more attention might be more local and need community support, or they might need funds to be more impactful even if the organization is big. But that's probably because the problem is big and doesn't get the attention it needs. Or it could cover so many other issues, or it may (appear to) be the core where the problem stems from. Its hard to parse, I know, but I do hope this helped in some way.

#me wanting to give advice and talk about stuff but in the end talking too much and not trying to impose my views on anything aaa #but either way #I'm honoured #my posts #ask

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rosalesbeausderholle · 2 years

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I hear what you're saying about giving people money but clean energy usually IS less expensive but has a start up cost. Its definitely worth doing imo - not only does it reduce CO2 emissions by default but also helps create a demand for renewables, voting with your wallet and all that.

Obviously idk the charity in question, maybe they are just pretentious but often organisations wont have the ability to just hand over money - they arent usually rolling in it themselves, but they might well get funding for specific projects like moving towards renewable energy.

Ive just realised it said reduce energy not move to renewables, my bad lol. I do think that almost makes it less likely they've got money to hand over though, they are likely just some people who know a bit about energy consumption.

Giving them money was me being a bit hyperbolic tbh. I mean most organisations that do any kind of volunteering obviously don't have enough money to give to people that's true, that's the government's job but also this was the Red Cross so I'm sure they have more resources than most orgs so you know, but I digress.

I do think workshops about living as sustainability as possible (within your usual spending range!) aimed at working class people (or anyone for that matter) could be very good because there are ways. But we're in the middle of a heatwave that's killed hundreds in Spain because they weren't allowed to stop working outside due to their precarious employment and you're telling me the solution is for people to turn off that AC/fans that are keeping them safe? The problem is not the use of technologies that keep us safe, even if there are other ways to cooling oneself that people will have to look into (and working class people will be the first to do that because energy costs in Spain continue to be sky high). The problem is that the electricity making the AC work doesn't come entirely from renewable sources!

Sure, reducing is good, both for the environment and for our pockets and we must make conscious choices to reduce our impact as well, but again, blaming poor people for their own energy consumption not being sustainable when they're likely the ones using less energy (because they can't afford it!) when big supermarket and store chains have the AC on so strong that you freeze to death when you enter and there's so many other places you can cut off energy consumption from is very tone deaf. Especially in the middle of summer when we get killing heatwaves every year now. Rn, I don't care that a poor person has their fan on all day. They need that. I care that we haven't completely forbidden the use of fossil fuels yet.

#anti capitalism #climate change

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bitchmael · 4 years

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the last time a british police officer was convicted for a death in custody was 1969, even though 1700 people have died in police custody in the UK since 1990. not surprisingly, BAME people are far more likely to be stopped, arrested, jailed, and murdered by police in this country. here is a list of UK anti-racism orgs you can donate to, including the UK chapter of Black Lives Matter.

here’s the link again but bigger: https://www.stylist.co.uk/life/uk-anti-racism-charities-black-lives-matter-how-to-donate/395365

EDIT (08/06/2020): Stand Up To Racism (3rd from the bottom on this list) is linked to/part of the Socialist Workers Party, which absolutely failed to deal with sexual assault allegations against its members in 2013/14. as far as I’m aware the others are all sound. but if you’re in the uk - protest, if you can. write to/email your mp, esp. if they’re a tory. ask them what they intend to do about racist policing AND healthcare access given the coronavirus figures we’re seeing coming out here!

#police violence //#police brutality //#uk police #black lives matter #blm resources #links #donation

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raleighliving · 3 years

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Budget Living Raleigh

Living in any city you’re gonna look at higher costs of living. Rent, utilities, and insurance all add up before you even factor in groceries. But just because you’re living in the city doesn’t mean you shouldn’t have nice things.

If you find all your money is being eaten by rent, and your bed is supported by the ground itself, then this article is for you; cause we’re going to talk today about bargain hunting in Raleigh and what to look for when you want a good deal on good furniture. Maybe I’ll do this again for groceries or other such things but for now we’re just focused on general niceties.

Best part of this is it’s gonna be fairly general too. Anything I mention here you could probably find or do in any American city or small town since the institutions are fairly ubiquitous.

If you find yourself lacking furniture, decorations, or just general quality of life enhancers my answer boils down to two main points: Thrifting and Resale stores. At times they can seem similar enough but there are fine differences that separate the two using fairly recognizable criteria.

“RL,” I hear you say between fistfuls of knockoff Cheetos and self-loathing, “Of course if you want bargains you go thrifting! Did you JUST hear about Goodwill recently?”

Yes, in terms of hot takes this is especially dull but what I can lend to the conversation isn’t about how prices at thrift organizations are cheaper than retailers, how you should support your local thrift organizations, or even the general good they provide to low-income communities; what I’m looking at is knowing what you have and what you can expect to find when visiting.

Take Goodwill, for instance, since everyone has seen at least one in their life. Outside of their larger outlets where you’ll find more furniture, walk into any Raleigh Goodwill and you’ll have seen all of them. 90% of the floorspace is dedicated to cheap clothes with a backwall full of knickknacks and a small bookshelf. If you’re lucky, there may even be a sofa or two and some paintings along the wall but most of what you’ll find is cheap clothes.

Now, if that’s what you’re looking for that’s great! However, I’ve grown to have a deep distaste for the homogeneity of local GCF stores. Customers can donate their clothes, toys, and other items to GCF at any store locations; but those items are shipped to processing and then distributed to other GCFs across the country based on inventory need and sales patterns. What you see in one donation center/store you’ll likely see in every other with maybe the odd rare find if you’re lucky.

GCF aside your options for Raleigh include org thrifts, mom and pop stores, and discount thrifts to provide some much needed variety in your day-to-day shopping. Each with their pros and cons, yet all sharing the glorious benefit of providing furniture and clothing for a fraction of the price of bigger brand stores.

Org thrifts (short for organization thrift stores, creative I know) are exactly what they sound like. Thrifts run by an organization or charity, similar to Goodwill's, with a stated goal of helping others and supporting the organization financially over seeking a profit margin.

Cause 4 Paws, Raleigh/Durham Rescue mission, and Dorcas thrift stores all provide a wide variety of products while using the store proceeds to help the less fortunate; but with phenomenal prices. It’s not uncommon for a thrift store run by one of these organizations to have fifty cent books, clothing sold by the pound, and furniture/power tools under the $40 price tag if you’re lucky. Plus, not to sound like a broken record but, your proceeds go towards good causes like animal adoption and feeding the homeless.

Most thrifts of this nature are run by religious organizations, so if you’re at odds with supporting that sort of thing you might be more interested in the other two options; but otherwise this type of thrift store typically comes with very few downsides.

|Image Credit: Dorcas Thrift on Nextdoor

Of course, one of those other options is the standard mom and pop operation. Not linked to any specific organization or franchise, these tend to be small businesses run by local families serving a smaller radius.

Prices as a result tend to be a little higher than your average thrift store since it’s, y’know, a business; and the selection can be a little below average, usually consisting largely of estate sale leftovers, but this also works to their favor.

There’s no central distribution center for these businesses, so what people sell/donate to these stores comes from nearby communities typically. So if you find one near an upper class area like Honeycutt Rd or Ebeneezer Church Rd, they’ll typically have nice furniture, art, and electronics for thrift store prices.

There’s not too many of these, but my personal favorite is Fabulous Affordable Treasures in Southwest Raleigh. A decent assortment of clothes and decorative pieces (and a very relaxing general environment) makes it a positive visit even when I’m just browsing.

|Image credit: Affordable Treasures Facebook

Finally there’s Discount thrifts. They’re not too common, and are usually supported by an organization additionally although not all are, but if you find one check back with them regularly because it’s almost guaranteed to be worth it.

These thrift stores operate by having a degrading price scale; setting prices when the object comes into inventory, and then lowering them based on how long its been with them or the condition it was received in.

Stores like Habitat for Humanity ReStore and Petersons Consigning Design use this, and typically offer discounts upwards of 60% if you wait long enough. On top of having equally large selections of product from org thrifts, they offer plenty for the savvy shopper.

The downside is, the best possible price you can receive for any given product is a gamble. That sweet leather armchair you have your eye on might be dropped from 40% to 50% in the next two days, but if someone finds the price acceptable where it is then that products gone forever (or at least until something similar winds up in inventory).

|Image Credit: Petersons Consigning Design website

Regardless of which thrift store you choose though, you’re bound to find a bargain in one eventually if you check back every once in awhile. I’ve only mentioned a fraction of the stores available in Raleigh, if you find a few favorites of your own and check back regularly, you’re bound to find something you’ll love at a price you couldn’t find anywhere else.

Of course, if you’re looking for more niche deals you could always use programs like Facebook Marketplace or Craigslist for people just looking to get rid of their junk. They’re easy to use and both are incredibly active for the Raleigh area; but if you’re looking for something a little more...interesting then I’d recommend checking out liquidation stores.

There’s not many of them in Raleigh, but recently this past week a store by the name of Treasure Hunt Liquidation opened up with an interesting premise. They buy tons of returned and opened merchandise from places like Amazon and sell them to other people on a degrading price scale similar to the thrift stores we mentioned above.

Fridays the price-per-item is $10, and then day by day it drops till it hits $1 per item on the following Wednesdays (and they close Thursdays for inventory). large bins full of boxed or repackaged goods line the floor with everything from car parts to 3D printing filaments depending on when you can get there.

Additionally, you can purchase pallets of goods as well; with some of the more high ticket items ranging from $300 up to $1500; but generally containing some of the more desirable items like bikes and kitchen equipment.

Overall, the whole experience is like a giant rotating lootbox; you’re never quite sure what you’re gonna get when you go but you’re likely to find something that at least catches your eye, even if it doesn’t come home with you.

|Image Credit: Treasure Hunt Liquidation facebook group

You can’t find everything you’ll ever need at stores like these, but you’ll definitely be able to find affordable furniture and clothes even on a college student’s budget. Even a few dollars saved can make a huge difference though, so if you get the chance or see a store on the side of the road that catches your eye, be sure to at least stop in and see what they have for sale.

Or, if you’ve read this and have some books/clothes/toys to donate please consider donating or selling them to your local thrift location. These secondhand finds can make all the difference in the world to a kid who wouldn’t be able to get them otherwise. Regardless, hopefully at the very least this article kept you entertained, and I hope everyone reading has a great day!

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nightcoremoon · 3 years

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advertising is bullshit. not just for the carbon emissions, not just because they don't work, not just because they gather information on individual users, not just because unbridled capitalism is fundamentally broken without consistent regulations and control, not just because businesses are putting ad revenue ahead of human life.

here's the thing

you ever heard of acorn?

no not the video streaming service

there's an app called acorn that enables short form investment capital. you put in pennies to businesses to financially support them and if/when those businesses are successful then the amount of money you invested gets to be a lil bit more. so it's basically the stock market. you cannot eat the rich if you don't know what they eat. anyway it's a way to make supplementary income that's as far as I know untouchable by the IRS. but that doesn't matter. the thing is that this thing exists.

I can guarantee that 9 out of 10 people reading this has no idea that this app existed. and it's probably because you don't ever see ads for it. they don't really advertise. it seems to be some sort of communal hub for mass mutual financial growth among corporations and investors since that's how stimulating economics works. you don't hear about it on tv, radio, internet, video games, magazines, whatever. so clearly they have a tiny if not nonexistent budget for ads.

gambling ads are fucking everywhere. you got casinos, you got fantasy football leagues, you got horse racing, you got private pools for F1 and nascar, you got lottery scratch off tickets, you got fortnite overwatch battlefieldfront etc lootboxes, you got so much shit shoveled out every orifice of society, media, social media, radio tv websites and magazines. everywhere. they have a huge budget for ads because they are traps designed to steal money from gullible idiots privileged enough to have extra cash. and they take maybe 10% of that and sell out adspace to attract more gullible idiots. it's a predatory business model and it WORKS and it works because people are stupid and they're still clicking on ads and buying lootboxes and scratching scratchoffs and betting on football.

gambling doesn't serve society. it's a for profit model that the privileged elite use to suck up extra cash from sad pathetic losers who chase that high from a squirt of serotonin from hitting three lemons or a solid gold ak47 skin or a jpeg. so they can afford to throw cash away on ads.

but sheena, I hear you ask, what about all of the businesses that DO provide valid services to society?

spotify makes enough money from ad revenue to shill out Premium™ to people who happily vomit up $5/monthly en masse. even though there's plenty of ways to listen to music that a) directly benefit the creator or b) are 100% free.

places that serve food make so much extra money from sales that they can afford to fuck over they're employees by paying them dirt and shill out for ad spaces even though nobody's gonna watch a commercial for red lobster on tv and think OOOHHH I WANT JUMBO SHRIMP and you know why? because people who are rich enough to eat ad red lobster on a whim all have enough income they probably have dvr or Premium™ streaming and don't see ads in the first place. they're gonna spur of the moment think mmm cheddar bay biscuits (because when the fuck has red lobster shilled their delicious biscuits??? NEVER, THEY SHILL THEIR SCAMPI LINGUINI AND L O B S T E R.

(red lobster did not finance this post and you can easily find imitation recipes anywhere on google but damn what tasty cheesy bread).

United States Military spends $100 MILLION dollars on shilling ads to join the army on poor people's tv to boost enlistment for their blood machine instead of the government taking that money and using it to finance our schools. we can literally cut our military budget from $780 BILLION dollars to $779 billion- that's B as in billion- remove all military ads from our TVs and buy new textbooks for every single school in the entire country. I don't know why learning institutions hide knowledge behind class gates and why historical mathematical scientific and artistic groups don't just fucking give copies of one textbook about the subject to everyone, or why the publishing companies want so much goddamn MONEY from FUCKING SCHOOLS for LITERAL CHILDREN to LEARN but whatever I'm just someone who succeeded in high school in spite of its hundreds of open glaring flaws but whatever. anyway the point is the military could give money to groups that want to end wars but no they want poor people with nowhere else to go to oil the gears with their entrails so we can continue bombing the shit out of the middle east to steal their petroleum. and ads is how they do it.

charities who claim to want to help kids with cancer or endangered animals will gladly take vast portions of the money well meaning idiots send in, pocket 1/4 of it, put another 1/4 in the tv commercials, give 1/4 to some female adult contemporary singer who isn't famous anymore to sing a sad song over the sadness porn and then give the remaining 1/4 to people who are constantly failing to cure cancer, save animals, and just give up and join the nonprofit orgs that actually accomplish things instead. if a charity can afford to spend millions of dollars on fuckin ADVERTISING, they're a bunch of bloated and corrupt bastards who shouldn't be trusted with a goddamn penny. their members should be promoting shit FOR FREE if they actually care. not buying ad space on the cw tnt cbs & nbc. unless the businesses DONATE ad space. but they don't do that because all CEOs are evil. lol

what does wikipedia do when it needs cash? it POLITELY ASKS FOR MONEY IN A BANNER IN THE CORNER OF THE WEBSITE. ao3 does it too. and if dumb motherfuckers wanna shit on wikipedia for being the most accurate and communally moderated source of information on the entire internet "inaccurate"[citation needed] or ao3 for being the last bastion of independent fiction against federal censorship whores and virtue signaling white-knight moral guardians who don't actually care about victims of rape and csa "having incest fics", and yet say absolutely nothing to greedy conglomerates who destroy the planet, commit genocide and enslave coastal & island nation child residents, spread eugenics & other evil pseudoscientific propaganda, sexualize infantilize and fetishize women, and let millions die from cancer every day? then they're just as culpable.

fuck advertisements.

unless you're an independent content creator or something in which case that's not ads it's marketing and publicity which is different.

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palmtreepalmtree · 4 years

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Alright, this one is long overdue for an anonymous friend who really wanted me to review The Healer. So after a short pause, here is another edition of

The Worst Movie on Netflix Right Now™

Heavy sigh.

Alright. Let’s talk about this one.

First off, I have to do some pretty serious content warnings, cause I know some people have been receiving some bad news recently and this review goes someplace you might not expect so, I love you guys, but please be aware that this review deals with: cancer, terminal illness, kids with cancer.

Now back to the bullshit.

This is basically a movie about a fucking dumbass dude who has trouble making obvious decisions.

SPOILERS AHEAD (are you new here?)

The main character Alec Bailey, begins the film as a total fuckwit. He lives in England (somewhere about) and owns a failing electronic handyman business that he calls “The Healer” (in the most pathetic stretch of narrative bullshit, but okay) and is in deep gambling debts to the Russian mob.

As our story begins, Alec discovers that he has a long lost rich uncle who makes him an offer: the uncle will pay off Alec’s debts if he agrees to live in Nova Scotia for a year. The uncle will make all the arrangements: plane ticket, work visa, place to live, etc. All Alec has to do is stay in Nova Scotia for a year.

OH NO! WHATEVER SHALL I DO?!? WHAT AM I GOING TO DO IN REMOTE NOVA SCOTIA FOR A YEAR AFTER ALL MY FINANCIAL CONCERNS ARE TAKEN CARE OF?

HOWEVER WILL I SURVIVE IN SUCH A HORRIBLE PLACE?11?!?

I BETTER THINK IT OVER.

*eyeroll*

He finally makes his decision after getting chased by mobsters trying to collect on his debts. ...like I said. He’s a fuckwit.

So he moves into this beautiful house in Nova Scotia. There’s no internet, which is a legit bummer, but his uncle has arranged a car for him to get to town. Seems like a pretty good gig. Even if it is going to be brutally cold come the winter months.

Well as soon as Alec arrives in town, everyone seems to know and be expecting him. He puts an ad out for his mechanical engineering services, again, under the name “The Healer.” Well........... that goes awry in ways you would expect. Suddenly, people start showing up requesting his physical healing services.

The thing is, the people from town seem to expect him to actually be a healer. They keep referring to a secret and to him being “the chosen one.” There’s no explanation for this.

Then there’s like... this whole weird interlude where Alec seems to kill the town priest, played by Jorge Ramirez (can someone please find this dude a good acting gig? my dude has decent comedic timing, he’s better than this shit). And Alec gets arrested. Even though the priest got up and walked away. All of this seems like a weird spinning of wheels before the actual plot. Like why is this happening. Why?

Eventualllllllly......... his uncle shows back up and fesses up (in the most elaborate way possible). People in his family have a gift. Every other generation, someone is chosen. And they have the gift of healing. Based solely on being near to someone who is destined to be saved.

The gift can only be activated around their 30th birthday (if this sounds unnecessarily elaborate, that’s because it is -- and I’m even cutting shit out like the secret basement and portraits on the wall, blahblahblah). The day after the birthday, the chosen one must decide. They can choose to accept or decline the gift of healing. Alec is given until midnight that night to make his decision. WILL HE BE THE CHOSEN ONE? WILL HE BE THE HEALER?!?!1?1

I mentioned that Alec is a fuckwit right?

*Hagrid voice* YOU’RE A FUCKWIT, ALEC!

*squints*

Annnnnnyhow. Alec goes to the town church where everyone is gathered at midnight (with thank you signs and a big round of applause) and he dashes their hopes. HE WILL NOT BE THE HEALER, NO! Even though it comes with no readily apparent downsides or costs. And he’d be able to relieve the suffering of others with no cost to himself. No, fuck it. He’s going to go home.

The town takes it pretty well, all things considered. The few people who had already been healed by being near him make speeches of gratitude. They all wish him a happy birthday and tell him he’s welcome to stay. Like these people are insanely understanding about him declining the gift of healing. INSANE.

It’s worth noting that we’re about halfway through the movie at this point and we haven’t met one of the main characters of the movie.

IN COMES ABIGAIL. Cancer kid extraordinaire. She is 14 years old. Her parents have driven 7 hours to see Alec. Their daughter is dying of terminal cancer, and all they want is for Alec to spend some time with her and give it a shot. But she’s a pretty self-possessed kid. She convinces the reluctant Alec to just hangout with her for the weekend to buck up her parents and give her parents some hope. She doesn’t believe in the healing, so no harm, no foul.

And finally we’ve hit the meat of our story. Will Alec be able to save Abigail now that he’s declined the gift? Will he regret it? WHY DID HE DECLINE THE GIFT!?1?

SPOILERS (really can’t discuss this movie without them)

It turns out, Alec had a brother who died of cancer. And they were incredibly close. In Alec’s words, “he was my everything.” But now he deeply regrets giving up the gift. Now he’s worried he can’t save Abigail.

You know what, man? Same.

SO WHY THE FUCK DID YOU TURN DOWN THE GIFT!??!?

Listen. Listen, listen. I don’t know a single person who has been touched by cancer who wouldn’t jump at the chance to have a healing gift. I mean, what the fuck. Death sucks. Losing someone you love from any kind of illness sucks. Especially when it feels even remotely too soon. And cancer is a particular type of FUCKING BULLSHIT. It sucks.

So it’s really fucking hard to understand why this FUCKWIT turns down the gift to begin with. Death and suffering is not abstract for him when this movie starts! So why we should feel sorry for his resulting anxiety, now that he has met someone who is directly negatively affected by his fucking BAD DECISION.

Anyhow, the rest of the movie is basically an exercise in how charming Abigail is and how much fun we can have with her before she goes off to die. Which like......... OH-FUCKING-KAY!

It should go without saying that this movie has a happy ending. The music swells where it should. The romance is consummated. Abigail is healed. All is going to be well with the world.

As a movie, this one has some weird fucking choices. First, all of the music cues in this movie are just wrong. “Faith” by George Michael is not a song about believing in something --- unless that something is having sex with someone who hurt you before. And the lighting in this film is so beautiful all the time, it looks like you’re in a fucking ciallis commercial, even when you’re in the freaking police station, wtf?

And last, the writing is just weird in places. Like why have the love interest lie about being a lesbian through 90% of the film? Why? It’s not a good joke! And It is COMPLETELY fucking baffling to me why the good news of this story is delivered off-screen instead of on-screen. If Abigail is going to be okay, why couldn’t she come back to Nova Scotia to tell him? Why couldn’t she deliver that news in person!? That’s just bad writing. What the fuck is that?

But whatever.

On the credit side, I think Oliver Jackson Cohen knows what he’s doing as an actor. He’s not Oscar-worthy yet, but I believed him. When he talks about his brother, I felt that. And that could not have been easy in such a fucking weird script.

But as much as I’d like to end this review right here, there’s more. Cause...

..........that’s not where the movie ends. Not entirely.

As the end music plays, the movie is dedicated to Paul Newman who established summer camps for seriously ill kids. And then we see images and videos of the kids all over the world enjoying activities at these camps.

And that’s where this critique stops. Sorta. Paul Newman was a legitimately good person. And his legacy of caring for sick kids carries on to this day, as was evident from all the footage.

But here’s the thing: healing as it’s depicted in this movie does not exist. But easing the suffering of others does. I wish this movie had been about that. I wish it had been less focused on miracles and weird family legacies and selfish fuckwits and more about the kind of healing that Paul practiced. But I guess that movie isn’t as fun, and it isn’t as hopeful and uplifting.

In the non-movie version of this story, Abigail Bryant died in 2014 at the age of 20. Her obituary still appears online. And it is still receiving comments and photos from cancer survivors and fighters, many of them who found her through the film. And they talk about how the movie touched them.

On that level, it doesn’t matter what I say here. It doesn’t matter that there are weird parts of this script or that healing like this is a fantasy. This movie does its job. It touches people. And if it inspires just a few more people to give money to help relieve suffering, then that’s all that matters.

Ronald McDonald House Charities Cancer Research Institute Hole in the Wall Gang (Paul Newman’s org) Serious Fun Children’s Network (established by Paul Newman)

#ptpt reviews #the worst movie on netflix right now #i guess #sorta #cw: cancer #sorry for the long post #this one was complicated

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purplesurveys · 4 years

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961

What was the most unsettling film you’ve seen? Unsettling films are my jam, man. To name a few, there’s Eraserhead, Room, Midsommar, Eyes Wide Shut, Misery, and most recently, I’m Thinking of Ending Things. Eraserhead takes the cake though. That movie always makes me queasy...

What unethical experiment would have the biggest positive impact on society as a whole? I’m a firm believer in nothing good ever comes out of unethical practices. I’ll never forget reading about an experiment where a group of newborn babies were given basic needs like food and being bathed, but weren’t shown any affection whatsoever and it was meant to see if humans can survive with just the most basic physiological needs. By the end of the experiment period half of the babies were dead. The results were honestly a lot bleaker than how I’ve put it, but I don’t wanna be a downer lol. Suffice it to say that experiment haunted me for days after reading it.

When was the last time you were snooping, and found something you wish you hadn’t? It was around a week or so ago, I’m pretty sure.

Which celebrity or band has the worst fan base? My sister is into K-pop and I hear insights from her all the time, but her one constant is that BTS breeds the most annoying, toxic fans. I’d have to agree. Ariana Grande’s fandom was also annoying at one point, but I haven’t heard much from them making a mess these days.

What are you interested in that most people aren’t? Autobiographies.

If you were given a PhD degree, but had no more knowledge of the subject of the degree besides what you have now, what degree would you want to be given to you? Why would I deserve a PhD on something I’m clearly not qualified for...I’m not sure I’m following this question right, but I don’t feel like thinking too hard about it.

What smartphone feature would you actually be excited for a company to implement? I’m happy with the features that are widespread now, but I wish companies adhere more to countries other than the common ones like US, UK, Australia, etc. I always see ads about phones being able to tell you how much movie tickets cost or track boarding passes, but those are all irrelevant here. It makes a lot of Apple’s basic apps useless on this side of the world haha.

What’s something people don’t worry about but really should? Long-term effects of poor habits like not getting enough sleep or drinking too many cups of coffee. I know because I’m guilty of this.

What movie quotes do you use on a regular basis? “I won’t think about that now, I’ll think about it tomorrow,” but I usually say it to myself, especially when I feel stressed.

Do you think that children born today will have better or worse lives than their parents? Better, but idk if that’s just me being biased because my generation will be the next parents lol. I just think that a lot of Gen X parents still have a lot of dated prejudices and mindsets that my generation was able to learn better from. For example my mom doesn’t like using people’s preferred names, especially if they’ve transitioned -_____- and I know I’d never want to set such an example for my kids.

What’s the funniest joke you know by heart? I know I’ve come across hilarious ones but I always fail to come up with one when asked on the spot.

When was the last time you felt you had a new lease on life? LOL RIGHT NOW

What’s the funniest actual name you’ve heard of someone having? It’s more stupid than funny and I know I’ve already mentioned this before, but Covid Bryant as a first and second name still takes the cake for me. My sister went to school with a girl whose name is just her surname backwards, and for a time I was really weirded out by it. But in the times I’ve seen her she really owns her name and never looks bothered by it, so I quickly stopped caring.

Which charity or charitable cause is most deserving of money? For me it would have to be organizations for animal welfare.

What TV show character would it be the most fun to change places with for a week? Post-El Camino Jesse Pinkman. I wouldn’t want to live through his chaotic shit from Breaking Bad, but his fate after El Camino is something I’m super envious of.

What was cool when you were young but isn’t cool now? Flip phones, Blackberry phones, Roshes, Frappuccinos.

If you were moving to another country, but could only pack one carry-on sized bag, what would you pack? Phone, laptop, their chargers, important IDs, some of my favorite tops and jeans, underwear, essential toiletries, wallet, a family photo, a journal and pen, earphones, certain knickknacks to remember Gab and my dogs by. Minus the clothes, all of these are pretty tiny so I think these would all fit in the bag just fine.

What’s the most ironic thing you’ve seen happen? I don’t know. I’m not really a fan of rating the most/worst this and that stuff in my life, either. I feel like I unnecessarily rack my brain too hard for them when I take surveys to have a chill time.

If magic was real, what spell would you try to learn first? Probably something that’d keep my dogs from dying.

If you were a ghost and could possess people, what would you make them do? No thanks. I’d be the chillest ghost tbh, I’d like to just sneak up on people’s business and hang out but never interfere in them.

What goal do you think humanity is not focused enough on achieving? Climate change, global warming, alleviation of poverty. Corporations and the few people who actually have the power and money to change things only ever come up with short-term shit like donations and never look at the big picture. What problem are you currently grappling with? So many personal ones. But just like the recurring theme of my surveys so far, “I don’t want to get into it.”

What character in a movie could have been great, but the actor they cast didn’t fit the role? As much as I love Kristen Stewart, I heard she was cast as Princess Diana for an upcoming film and I’m not really feeling that decision. They could’ve gone with a British actress for starters?????? The movie is still in production but it is pretty annoying to think about lmao.

What game have you spent the most hours playing? Probably GTA: San Andreas as a kid.

What’s the most comfortable bed or chair you’ve ever been in? Luxury hotel beds are always so fluffy and comfortable.

What’s the craziest conversation you’ve overheard? Omg one time at a coffee shop Gabie and I sat beside this older couple that obviously was going through some heavy SHIT. There was a lot of animosity and tension between them and I caught the lady silently break into tears a few times. I never overheard anything but then again they sat in silence for hours until the lady finally walked out on him. Never knew what it was about but I’ve always guessed that the man did something crappy, like cheat, and was discovered. It was a really sad sight and a crazy situation to witness and I think I felt even more sorry because they were obviously in their 50s or 60s. I hope the woman is in a better place now as she looked rough as fuck that evening.

What’s the hardest you’ve ever worked? I wore a lot of hats when I was in my college org, and that was on top of balancing my acads as well.

What movie, picture, or video always makes you laugh no matter how often you watch it? That scene from Friends where Ross plays the keyboard for Chandler, Phoebe, Monica, and Rachel.

What artist or band do you always recommend when someone asks for a music recommendation? It depends on what music they’re into and if I have actually have a recommendation in mind for them. I obviously can’t suggest Paramore to someone who mainly listens to metal.

If you could have an all-expenses paid trip to see any famous world monument, which monument would you choose? I’m down for any monuments that are super ancient like Stonehenge or the Pyramids of Giza.

If animals could talk, which animal would be the most annoying? I’d go with frogs, but only because they get annoyingly loud in the evening.

What’s the most addicted to a game you’ve ever been? Playing The Sims, Mario Kart, Rock Band, or games in the Burnout franchise.

What’s the coldest you’ve ever been? Japan was so fucking cold when I was there. Didn’t do my research and ended up being dressed poorly, and I was so cold I could barely talk to my parents or fully enjoy my time. Sagada was also nearly unbearable in the early morning.

Which protagonist from a book or movie would make the worst roommate? Not from a book or movie, but BoJack Horseman. Diane can also be in the running as I always found her too whiny. I get that she had her personal shit to deal with, but I don’t think living with her would be good for my own sanity and mental health.

Do you eat food that’s past its expiration date if it still smells and looks fine? It annoys my chef dad to death that I don’t lol. No matter how great it looks, I’d bounce. I once ate expired Kit Kats that tasted like cardboard and that scared me off of expired food forever.

What’s the most ridiculous thing you have bought? I once bought a stupid novelty soap that to this day I’ve never even opened. It’s in one of my drawers, and I plan to just throw it out at some point.

What’s the funniest comedy skit you’ve seen? Not a fan of these but one that got to me is Dear Sister from SNL.

What’s the most depressing meal you’ve eaten? A few years ago there was a local breakfast place that offered red velvet pancakes for a limited time and I was all over that crap, so I went and ordered. The actual pancakes ended up not being any bigger than my palm, and I remember not being able to hide my disappointment once the server placed the dish on my table haha. I felt so scammed. I had to order something else to feel full, because those pancakes were stupidly small.

What tips or tricks have you picked up from your job/jobs? One of my superiors, when she was presenting a pitch to our director yesterday, kept asking questions and picking at the director’s brain so that she can get suggestions and answers straight from the director herself and so that she didn’t have to do any brainstorming anymore. I thought that was a pretty nifty and clever hack.

What outdoor activity haven’t you tried, but would like to? Hiking a mountain!

What songs hit you with a wave of nostalgia every time you hear them? Umbrella by Rihanna feat. Jay-Z.

What’s the worst backhanded compliment you could give someone? Idk, anything can be the worst depending on the context. I’m not a fan of giving those, though.

What’s the most interesting documentary you’ve ever watched? Unsolved Mysteries’ Dupont de Ligonnès episode was a lot of fun to watch.

What was the last song you sang along to? I think it was Thinking of You by Katy Perry? but I’m not entirely sure. I haven’t sung along to anything in a while.

What app can you not believe someone hasn’t made yet? I don’t really download and use a lot of apps other than the basic ones, so I don’t care too much.

When was the last time you face palmed? Last night.

If you were given five million dollars to open a small museum, what kind of museum would you create? I’d give it away to the Martial Law museum currently being made near my university so that it can do more to show the atrocities of the Marcoses. And so that I can piss off my pro-Marcos relatives.

Which of your vices or bad habits would be the hardest to give up? Uh hating myself, if that counts.

What really needs to be modernized? Public transportation systems in this country.

#survey #surveys

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samesongxox · 4 years

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Savior: Chapter 2 (Falling Fast)

Summary: (Hellboy 2019) AKA Turning a New Leaf AKA Good Samaritans Need Love Too. The B.P.R.D is tasked to infiltrate a black market creature trafficking ring led by a powerful warlock. Hellboy rescues Phyrra who is found being held hostage, a slave for her magic. He must protect her as she is hunted by her master and his gang of monsters. (AU where Broom isn't dead/Abe wasn't found)

It will be rated M, it will include violence, swearing, smuttiness, all the good things in life.

I've just used an LOTR elven translator for Phyrra's language, I wanted her to start off disoriented enough to revert back to her old language and it was the simplest way I could make that happen but I won't use too much of it.

Also, for those wondering, I wrote down Phyrra into a text to speech and the way her name sounded to me was Pier-Rah, I know with phonetics PH makes the F sound, so saying it like Fear-rah, I think could also be correct.

Disclaimer: Hellboy belongs to Dark Horse Comics/Mike Mignola, I don't own anything except the AU and my OC's.

Meanwhile, in a corridor not far away…

Running full tilt down this damp, dark and fucking horrible smelling hallway, Hellboy could think of at least 10 other things he wanted to be doing right now instead. He ran round the corner, stood at the end, and waited for the big bastard who was chasing him to come around it. He had no one to blame but himself, for the situation he was in; the creature stopped dead in his tracks at the sight of his target, giving Hellboy the proper momentum to swing his stone hand into the stomach of an ogre.

When dear ol’ dad had said in his usually chastising tone: 'This isn't some simple run and gun mission Hellboy! Our operatives have intelligence that says this ring holds over hundreds of different species and creatures!" He hated when his father looked at him like that, the disapproving glint in his eyes. 'We have no idea what you could find in there, this requires a lighter touch than you're used to.'

The argument had ended the usual way they did, Hellboy stomping away petulantly, ignoring the protects from Ben about his father being right, as always, blah blah blah. Sometimes he wished they never recruited the Major, sure he had chilled out considerably since the whole Nimue debacle, he even accompanied Hellboy and Alice to the local bars on occasion; he never joined in the karaoke, but he gave Hellboy a run for his money in a round of pool.

"You're gonna die today demon!" The ogre gloated, grabbing Hellboy by his jacket. Hellboy grimaced at the stench of its breath, being thrown against the wall was preferable. He crumpled to the floor, shaking off a daze. Charging towards him, Hellboy saw his advantage and swept the creature's legs, bringing it to the ground. Hellboy stood up and brought his arm down on the Ogre's head, rendering it unmobile with efficiency.

It wasn't that he didn't agree with his dad, Hellboy thought, shaking the goop left behind from the head of the Ogre. He knew he dealt better in the aggressive tactics used by B.P.R.D, there was a reason the times they needed to attend some charity function or government funded mixer, Alice accompanied the Professor. She had turned into quite the little agent his Alice Monaghan and Hellboy didn't care for any of that bureaucratic shit anyways. And since the incident, he had been trying his best to see his father's side of things more often.

Hellboy didn't want to admit to anyone he was scared.

He was still had nightmares about it, the sight of his father lying dead had been a shock to his system. For so long he had held so much anger towards the Professor, it coming to a head at the knowledge Lady Hatton had given him. It really sucked to find out your purpose in life was to bring about the apocalypse, and Hellboy was still dealing with the news being something he feared for so long, meanwhile that wasn't even the worse bit.

Still Baba Yaga's curse loomed on his shoulders, he didn't know the details of the curse, he sure as shit didn't want to go back there and ask the witch.

Professor Trevor Bruttenholm was pronounced dead, for 12 whole minutes.

Hellboy thought it was morbid when the agents that rushed in brought a defibrillator, ripping the shirt off of his father's body, placing the charges on his chest. Hellboy protested greatly, bring held back in a surprisingly strong embrace by Ben. So when his father's eyes popped open, to say Hellboy was surprised was a great understatement.

Now things were back to normal, well as normal as there dynamic had been before. Dad always there with a less than kind word with nothing but good intentions towards his 'son'.

The presence of Alice and Ben on the team had cooled them both down considerably, the workload now sectioned off between the four of them, and someone was always there to get in the middle of them and be the voice of reason.

It wasn't like they held interviews for the kind of team that they were, it just kind of happened. Alice was insistent on sticking around with her new found abilities, wishing to hone them, be able to research in the vast codex of ancient knowledge B.P.R.D possessed, but Hellboy knew that what Alice wanted more than anything was somewhere to belong again, and she did at the B.P.R.D.

Major Ben Daimo, after being caught with his curse of the Were-Jaguar, simply realized he was with much better company than M11.

Hellboy, having wiped his arm clean of the gore, took about three steps down the hallway when a "Stop!" Made him growl in exasperation. He turned and was just as surprised when they arrived at this giant fortress like building, this place just kept getting fucking weirder.

Hellboy had never seen a Centaur before, he could check this off the list. The half-man half...appeared to be …. A ram or a bison or something if the horns were any indication.

Hellboy was being charged at again, this time with a much quicker adversary. Hellboy was at a disadvantage of only having two legs as he turned tail, pun intended, and ran once again from a foe.

These were some The Shining level of creepiness hallways, Hellboy deduced, being chased by a Centaur, he called for backup but they had all conveniently split up in the warehouse; but it was hard to hear oneself think in that veritable zoo of mythical creatures. Father was not lying, this Warlock was bad news bears.

The Centaur was rapidly gaining on Hellboy, it was inevitable when he felt himself being lifted by his tail, rude pal, and tossed him into the wall. Hellboy hated being thrown around like some ragdoll, it didn't help that the Centaur obviously had more weight to his throw than the Orge, and Hellboy was left staring at the twinkling lights above him, knowing he was gonna hurt in the morning.

Rhys huffed, adrenaline breaking out into his coat in a thick sheen of sweat. He picked up the currently incapacitated creature and examined him. It seemed to be some sort of demon or other. Rhys was disgusted at the creature to see his shaved forehead where horns should be, Rhys prided himself on his own, and considered any creature that would try and hide his features like that weak and embarrassed at his own lineage.

He threw the impostor creature onto his back and took off in hurried clomps to Elias' office, needing to let his master know about this invasion. Where did this thing come from? Rhys called for Mordecai begrudgingly, but was left with a true silence that meant he was not hiding in some corner somewhere. He was most definitely already with Elias.

His suspicions were correct as he entered the masters domain, seeing the two figures speaking in a quick, long dead language Rhys didn't understand. He hated when the two of them did that, he knew he was out of the loop for a lot of things, but it wasn't like they had to rub his face in it, he was a powerful creature, stronger than both of them combined. He couldn't think like that though, even in his darkest thoughts; he was owned by Elias for the rest of his life, nothing could be done to change that.

What was worse was that Elias didn't even acknowledge Rhys had stepped in the room, or that he had dropped an intruder at the front of his desk. Almost as if he already knew.

"There are intruders in our home Rhys. Go with Mordecai to holdings and deal with them accordingly, leave this with me."

Those were the only words spoken to him, Rhys nodded gravely trotting out the door, knowing at once he had messed up allowing whoever these people were to break so easily into the property.

Elias' eyes trailed down to the pathetic looking creature at his feet, he was having the most awful deja vu. Taking in the tail, shaven horns and red skin, Elias knew who was breaking into his home. B.P.R.D. This had to be the Cambion known as Hellboy.

Elias growled, this meant serious trouble. How did he have such rotten luck, his dejected attitude continued as the beast stirred on his floor. He had to get ahold of this situation.

Hellboy regained consciousness quickly, one minute he was in a haze of pain, the next he flew up from the floor so quickly he thought he'd blackout. Hissing in a deep breath, Hellboy touched his stomach gingerly, diagnosing himself a cracked rib. Standing in front of another mythical nutcase no doubt, Hellboy took in the room.

This dude was seriously fucked in the head. He thought the Osiris Club was bad enough mounting giant heads on their walls, but this room had that one beat clean. Wall to wall the heads of creatures were hung, along with various ferocious animals were on proud display. Dead fairies and pixies beside butterflies and beetles pinned in glass coffins. He realized he was standing on the fur of a Cerberus, Hellboy gasped, stepping ungracefully away from the awful sight. Hellboy glanced at a bowl filled with what looked like mints, and gagged to see that they were teeth.

"Goblin Teeth. A little hobby of mine. As you can see, I am an extensive collector." Hellboy hated him already. The smooth, calm voice, the power he emanated even behind the desk, this was the warlock, no doubt. The owner of this little auction house.

"A demon, how quaint." Elias scoffed in the most condisenting fashion, looking the epitome of ease, fiddling with the golden staff adorned with amethyst from the dwarven royalty. A present for dealing with their little dragon problem so long ago, when species of all kinds were allowed to walk on earth. A time he sorely missed.

"Half-demon, buddy. Get your facts right." Raising his arm to bust the desk, Hellboy was unsuspecting of the staff being more than just for show, he was proven quite mistaken.

A blast of magic so focused hit him, Hellboy was thrown out the room. The magic was a tidal wave of white-hot wind that blasted multiple doors opened in the hallway, tearing wallpaper from the walls. Hellboy was stopped only by the brick at the end of the hallway. Living an indent of his body, Hellboy groaned and peeling himself off the wall. He was bleeding from his head, he realized swiping at the blood that dripped into his eye. Probably concussed.

At the door to his office stood Elias, arms crossed with the staff perched on his shoulder, he didn't have a care in the world. This demon was nothing compared to a being of magic such as himself, and it was laughable the demon got back up, as if he had a chance from this distance.

"Are you as dumb as you are strong, demon? My name is Elias, this is my home and you have most aggressively broken into it. I plan on taking the necessary steps to protect my property."

Hellboy collapsed in half real agony, gritting his teeth, listen to this asshole posture on like some sort of movie villan. Hellboy tried to shake the pain, biting his cheek to focus himself, distracting the warlock enough to grab for his weapon. He took a deep breath and with a reserve of strength he had, pulled and shot off all 6 rounds in the chamber, a special design by the eggheads in the labs, with barbed edges that exploded on contact, shredding the flesh of whatever unfortunate being was on the receiving end of his little gift.

One bullet would of incapacitated him, maybe all 6 of them was an overkill, if the gruesome sight of the warlock gasping wetly from a pile of guts. Better safe than sorry Hellboy always said. Elias attempted to speak, choking on the mess in his mouth, and his eyes slipped closed. An odd, peaceful aura enveloped the area around him, the half-demon went to investigate.

He heard the sound of agents arriving on the scene, there voices calling for him from afar. Obviously brought by the sound of his gun going off.

Hellboy just seemed to keep getting distracting in this place however, for no sooner had he begun to walk towards the body, when a lump on the floor of one of the rooms caught Hellboy's attention.

It was a girl. With a towel haphazardly wrapped around her. Hellboy turned away sharply as his eyes automatically glanced at the slight curve of her breasts peeking from the top with her slow breathing. He didn't mean to do that, it just happened, but Hellboy was left surprisingly winded. Embarrassed.

"Uh.. Alice? You out there?" He called desperately out to the woman in the hallway, distracting himself by looking at the room. It was simple, compared to the rest of the place; stone walls and wooden furniture, a large four poster bed with white sheets. Nothing caught his eye of any interest, and he felt his eyes pulling towards the girl on the floor. Aw Crap. He reasoned he just felt bad if she was injured to just keep her in this position. He gave one last attempt at an "Alice!" Before he turned completely back to the girl.

She was young, that was his first thought. She was petite but she wasn't a little girl, her body, small but obvious curves were any indication. Hellboy felt his stomach clench in horror as the towel slipped further as he came forward, as if it had a mind of its own and was torturing him for looking. Awkwardly one-handed, he knotted the front of the towel more securely as carefully as he could, if his knuckles brushed her skin, he didn't think about it.

Finally finished his difficult task, Hellboy glanced at her head, noticing the long upward slopes of the tips of her ears peeking out from her hair, an elf. She also had some of the strangest markings Hellboy had ever seen, gold swirl like tattoos covered her body, on her face all the way to the tips of her fingers and toes, in an intricate, almost tribal fashion.

Hellboy glanced up to see a large robe hanging from a hook and shot up like a rocket, grabbing for it grateful for his find; he felt very guilty for continuing to just crouch here and look at her, he felt like a real pervert.

It also occurred to him he never even tried to wake her up. Well he had to deal with the towel falling off, he reasoned with himself, he knew in her position he would be very unhappy to wake up like that. It was much easier to get the robe on her, the distraction of the towel dealt with, and Hellboy felt a kind of accomplishment tying the sash at her waist; He had never had to play caretaker to someone. The whole time she did not awaken, left in some sort of unconscious state, Hellboy gently gathered her up in his arms easily and checked the back of head, pulling the long tawny strands apart, vaguely thinking about their softness, but mostly looking for blood.

Jostling her caused the elf to groan, Hellboy was taken aback when he pushed her away to see her eyes opened. They were very pretty, Hellboy thought stupidly as she glanced around blind in his clutch, before locking her gaze on the one who held her up.

"Cin're hi na rad-nin?" Her voice was a light questioning tone, her breaths quick and pained. Hellboy didn't know how to reply to her, he was struck dumber by her being awake than when he could move about her without that icy gaze focused on him it seemed.

"Uhh...Whatever you say, sweetheart." Hellboy blatantly realized the endearment he mumbled out, but didn't give it much thought, after all it seemed they were speaking two different languages, literally. He really needed to get her out of here, if not to get her checked for a possible concussion but just because this room was creeping him out, it was too clean, to… Much like a prison cell if he was being honest with himself.

"Mui mellon Binx?" At least she wasn't freaking out in his hold, cause she's still weak from the blast, he chided himself. He stood up and was about to cross the threshold with the elf in his arms, she kept saying something: blinks? When he heard Alice down the hall, her voice getting rapidly closer.

"Were you callin' me HB? I thought I could hear-Oh!" Hellboy felt himself flustered as the medium appeared in the doorway, the girl quicker than Hellboy could react to, jumped out of his arms, only to cower behind him, further placing Hellboy in one of the most awkward situations he could recall.

The girl was obviously hurt however, as no sooner had she hid herself behind Hellboy that her clutch had weakened and Hellboy could see her going down again, barely managing to catch her by her waist, again thanking his thinking in getting her into the robe as he pulled her once again into his arms.

Alice watched the whole interaction with a little surprise and much glee, tickled positively pink by Hellboy playing prince charming it seemed, saving this damsel. Alice thanked her internal romantically inclined side, one that she rarely showed, it was hard being the only female on the team at times. She tried to have a friendship with some of the agents, but the women in the B.P.R.D were professionals through and through, not a whole lot of interest in the fun times she could get into with HB, sometimes even Ben, or Major Stick up his Arse, as Alice sometimes called him, always with affection.

"Who's this then?"

"I don't know. I was dealing with Stinky, Hairy and Moe out there and then I just found her. She's an elf." He finished lamely,

Swift as a hummingbird, a creature the same size flew into the room. The ball of light honed onto Hellboy's face, making contact with his cheek. Hellboy stumbled back and looked at the attacker. A Pixie.

Between the Ogre, the Centaur and the Warlock, he was grateful for the size of this one. The thing was speaking a quick lilting pixie speak that Hellboy never understood, they had a textbook of Fae languages back at headquarters, he just never got around to reading it.

The Pixie seemed to know the Elf, she slowly took stock of the girl before pillowing herself on the chest of the unconscious girl, glancing up at Hellboy in a wary gaze.

"I found the little thing down the hall, think she knows her?" Alice chuckled.

"Let's get her to the helicopter. None of the others were put into rooms like this, she must be important." Alice was already at the doorway when she turned around, a typical cheeky Alice expression on her face. "You handle carrying her hero?"

Hellboy snorted derisively at the comment, turning away from Alice with her intense gaze. He ignored the curious gaze of the Agents and met up with Ben in the hallway, the Major raised a questioning eyebrow.

"Don't ask." Hellboy said simply, not wishing to explain the whole crazy turn of events that transpired since they arrived here.

"You guys get that warehouse cleared out?"

"Yes they're loaded into the trucks, on there way to headquarters. It's gonna take weeks to catalogue all these species. Hope you're ready for some paperwork." Hellboy knew Ben was joking, even to the outside it seemed like no humour was coming from the man. You just had to know him enough.

"How dare you touch her!" Hellboy jumped at the screech that came from the puddle that was Elias in position on the floor of his office, he thought for sure he had died. "Unhand her demon, she is not yours!"

Hellboy didn't scare easily, but he would be lying if he said the way Elias was looking at him wasn't causing goosebumps to break out on his arm. It was half crazed, desperate. Very different from the cool, assured master he was not 10 minutes ago.

"Phyrra wake up!" That must of been her name, Phyrra. It suited her, sweet, gentle and exotic, her name sounded like the purr of a cat, Hellboy always liked cats. He didn't like the way Elias was saying it though, the ownership plain, like he was commanding her to wake up.

"So I guess I was right, eh? She important to you? Well you won't mind if we just take her for awhile do ya? Thanks mate," Alice took the warlocks sudden invalent state as an opportunity to tease.

Phyrra also took the moment as a great opportunity to wake back up, as if even in her injured state, she was conditioned to listen to Elias' demands. She glanced around in even more confusion than the first time Hellboy watched her wake up. The warlock brightened at the sight of Phyrra awake, his voice quickly turning into butter, Hellboy cringed at the way he spoke to her.

"Phyrra, pet. Come and help me."She seemed to understand her name, if nothing else. She fixed her gaze on Elias as if she didn't know him from any other stranger currently in the room. Everyone seemed to be waiting for her to make some kind of decision, why none of them could really gather, but they didn't have to wait long for a response.

Phyrra didn't listen, what she did instead was wrap her arms around Hellboy's neck and bury herself in the crook of where his neck met shoulder, refusing to look at anything else; Hellboy was left with an elven woman clinging to him. The Pixie flew displeased at losing the perch on her elf.

"Tul-nin awaui o hi near." Hellboy involuntarily shivered at the obvious plea was whispered delicately in his ear. He didn't know what she was saying, but he wanted nothing more than to get her away from Elias fiery gaze, which was getting darker by the second.

"Binx! Don't you let them take her! I'll rip your fucking wings off myself!" Everyone looked on as the Pixie flew over to the warlock, and Hellboy couldn't stop the bark of laughter as the tiny creature, now Hellboy realized what Phyrra had been saying back in her room. Binx threw herself into Elias' forehead, he grunted at the contact, then glared at the tiny thing spitting no doubt terrible insults in its language.

Elias gasped in hysteria as Hellboy began to walk away from him. Getting out a last: "You're going to regret this you devil!" Before Ben did him a service of tasing him, silencing the man before his head popped clean off in his fury.

At that moment, Rhys and about a group of 20 creatures: Goblins and Ogres mostly, crowded into the space, some climbing over the backs of others to fit into the room.

Chaos broke. Fires were shot from the various machines carried by the Agents, tearing through the creatures scrambling to reach them.

"HB, the window!" The gazes of the three main team members individually sought out the broken window to their left, Alice shooting off a quick round from her pistol, cleaning the rest of the glass from the opening, before jumping off confidently. Even in the moment, Hellboy recognized he would have to tell her how badass she'd been in that moment. Before jumping himself out the four story window.

He broke his fall with his body, hoping this was the last time he was going to hit a hard surface today, he didn't know if he could take another one. Hellboy quickly checked to make sure he also broke Phyrra fall, it would be a shame to go through all this to end up squishing her himself. The trio ran towards the helicopter, the blades whorrling signaling its readiness for take-off.

Ben was clipping off the goblins crawling out of the window they just vacated as Alice and Hellboy dealt with the new cargo. Ben jumped in the last minute, yelled to the pilot to get them the fuck out of there and into the air they ascended.

Safely in the chopper, Hellboy's arms felt rather empty after Phyrra was placed carefully into the seat beside him, Alice taking over and strapping the girl in as her head lolled in delirium, she seemed to be coming to again, but only got those glacier depths of her eyes opened before the slumped again. Alice sandwiched her in between the two of them, placing Phyrra's head against Hellboy's arm and he looked at his friend in question.

"What? You won't mind watching to make sure her head doesn't move too much, would you?"

Alice snickered in delight at the cautioning way HB looked at her in the moment, as if begging her to stop teasing him so, which only spurred her on even more he had to realize.

They didn't know anything about this girl, but Hellboy was obviously taken with her.

Alice had been with the B.P.R.D for almost a year now, she'd never seen Hellboy act this way before. Hellboy was a badass motherfucker, he drank hard and fought even harder. It wasn't irony one of his arms was made out of stone, he was tough, inside and out.

That didn't mean Alice wasn't aware of his sensitive side, he saved her as a baby, she owed HB her life. The fact he was a loyal friend was just a bonus. He loved the Professor, Alice could see that plain as day, they were father and son to her, actual parentage didn't matter. Even then, he wasn't exactly the kind of friend you had long soul searching conversations with, except those times one of them got too into their feelings, and too into a bottle of tequila.

So Alice knew HB had the capacity to love, that she was certain. But as far as she knew, Hellboy had never even attempted to go out on a date before, she saw how the female agents of B.P.R.D looked at him, he was a pure specimen of a man. Muscle and stoicism, half-demon be damned.

Alice had asked Lloyd one night, who had been working there for ten years, if Hellboy ever dated anyone or anything, she wasn't gonna discriminate. Agent Reese had asked her in reply if they were an item, on their own date of all times! Alice was annoyed and had answered the same way she always did to the inept question. Disgusting! Like if I wanted to fuck my own brother! Which was correct, but she didn't think she'd see Lloyd again. Lately she had her eye on Agent Colter, she liked men of all shapes and sizes, but it was the blondes viking types that made her weak, which Colter fit to a tee.

Alice tried to slow the matchmaker in her head, immediately writing their names together in the notebook of her mind. First the girl had to wake up.

Elias opened his eyes slowly, feeling the pain immediately. His body was twisted in a most uncomfortable position and as he looked down he realized in a daze his leg was broken. On instinct he called out for Phyrra, before the recent events came back to the front of his memory. She left him. He did nothing but care for her, dress her in the finest things, held her to the highest standard above his advisors and this was how she thanked him?

First Lazarus sends him some would be assassin, and now to have lost his most precious trophy? His Phyrra? Elias felt helpless, something he hadn't felt for many centuries, it was maddening. It simply would not do.

So in his awful, disoriented thoughts, he didn't take notice of the Vampire and the Centaur stepping towards him, one expression of dispassion, one of stunned concerns.

"Master, drink from me." Elias wild eyes swung to the undead man, not for the first time Elias was grateful towards Mordecai, his oldest companion. He sucked in the old blood in thick gulps, feeling it buzz through his system, he will heal much quicker than normal, although his old friends blood did speeden his recovery, it was Phyrra who had the most wonderful touch for mending wounds and broken bones. What to do about Phyrra? It was quite simple Elias didn't have to think for a second about it.

He would get her back.

She will learn, he would teach her, as he always did, the hard lesson he had himself long ago been made perfectly aware of, that she was born to be his pet. That her life before him, the loss, the pain, the agonizing loneliness he knew she felt was because his story began the same. He was meant to teach her everything there was to know about life, about love.

Distracted, he heard Mordecai explain the lost of his inventory, but Elias heard none of it.

Elias instead, felt himself seeth at the memory of her in the demons arm. He would take great pleasure in harming it, peeling the skin from its arms for even daring to touch his Phyrra, he wouldn't stop till he got to bone. Yes, the demon, the whole B.P.R.D, were going to pay greatly for playing with him.

fin

Translations:

1)"Cin're hi na rad-nin?" (you're here to find me?)

2)"Mui mellon Binx?" (My friend Binx?)

3) "Tul-nin awaui o hi near." (Bring me away from this place)

#second chapter #fanfiction #hellboy fanfiction #hellboy 2019 #be gentle

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