#we had a meeting to review my leave and what support i need for surgery so that i have everything i need

[ecodweeb]

Loss, road trips, and a race to 10,000 miles

(Wiping away tears) Where to start this post? It’s been a busy summer for me: lots of grieving, Energica issues, Hyundai road trips, Iron Butt planning, new bike firmware, and now a race to reach 10,000 miles before August 16th.

The grieving isn’t over…

For the past 8 or 9 years, I’ve spent every single weekend from March till late October in the back yard of a retired EPA Scientist who spent his life working to clean up the air we breathe. This was the first person I knew with a home solar array, and he was the kindest soul you’d ever meet. My first “long” motorcycle ride was to his house on a Saturday to swim and socialize with my gay brothers in a safe and inclusive space that he provided for free. In all the years of going to his pool parties, I can count on one hand the number of guests he asked not to come back.

David was diagnosed with a glioblastoma multiforme brain tumor in December 2017. He had surgery and started chemo therapy, and the summer tradition continued for 2018. We had no idea it would be the last, because what wasn’t revealed until Feb 2019 was that the doctors gave him 14 months to live with surgery and treatment. David wanted one last normal summer, so he withheld this from us until he suspended his chemo and began the process of leaving this earth in February 2019.

David was a huge supporter of Electric Vehicles. When we brought the Smart EV over for the first time in 2016, he lit up with excitement. He was honored to let his solar-powered home charge a car that produced zero tailpipe emissions. What was at the time a major pain in the arse, but has become my most fond memory, was that the outlet we charged with was on the same circuit as the microwave. We had to put up warning signs on the microwave, which was never noticed, so I began to unplug the microwave when I plugged in the car (and would reset the time when I plugged it back in). David entered into Hospice care in June 2019.

Energica Woes

I love this bike so much that sometimes I forget it’s a first generation machine. I got a reminder on the summer Solstice, June 21, 2019. I took this day off from work with the intention of doing 300+ miles of riding, the weather was perfect after the weeks of rain that we’d had and I needed some serious road therapy to cope with the inevitable passing of my friend and mentor. Except that wasn’t going to happen.

I had lunch plans with my old VW buddy Jess, we were going to the Morgan Street Food Hall for a leisurely lunch. I geared up and got on the bike, having gotten a little less than 2 miles away from my house when I get an Undefined Fault. I pull over and restart the bike, only to have it happen again in another couple miles. It did this about 6 times before I realized I have a real problem and I won’t be riding today. I cancelled lunch, and rode to the dealer (which, of course, it didn’t fault once on that 10 mile ride).

I used the phone app to pull the diagnostic codes, but the dealer had no mention of “C” codes in their handbook. They were going to need to contact Energica, so I left the bike and had some friends pick me up and take me home. It was a Friday, and the dealer is closed Sunday and Monday. They did the diagnostic log dump and sent it to Energica on Saturday. Monday Energica reviewed the problem and shipped a replacement throttle assembly over night. It arrived just before close of business on Tuesday, and Wednesday afternoon I had my bike back. I was really impressed with the turn around time for this repair, it was miles ahead of their competition (which I have numerous first hand experiences with). I took the next day off from work to do what I’d hoped to do on the 21st: go for a really long ride.

June 27: I left my house around 8am and was charging at the Electrify America station in Rocky Mount by 9. It was warm that day, 85F and climbing, so the bike was charging really slow – 16kW max. Charge times were going to exceed 30min/stop, so I made the best of it. I rode from Rocky Mount to Emproia VA (Electrify America), Henderson (Electrify America), VIR, Durham, then home. I wasn’t sure that I could make it from Emporia to Henderson, so I took a route that had a Level 2 between the two destinations in Warrenton. I got there and plugged my bike in, it showed the charging screen and then I heard the realy click off and the bike went to sleep as if the charge has finished. Weird, I thought, then I saw the station had no power. Even weirder. Did the circuit breaker pop? The other station was in use by a Ford Fusion Energi, so I had no other option but to drop it in eco and ride carefully to Henderson. I get to Henderson and it’s an ICE show - there’s only one open space, and the charger won’t work. I get on the phone with Electrify America and got the worst customer service agent I’ve ever had. It’s 97F, I’ve got a rude agent, the stations are ICE’d and I can’t easily move between them. Finally, we get a charge going, I only had to park between two other cars. I go inside to cool off and decided that’s it, I’m not going to continue on to VIR - I’m just going to go home. I clocked around 220 miles, and was feeling good despite the trouble in Henderson… until I plugged the bike into my ChargePoint home charger.

I had to edit that, because I was cussing up a storm in the very beginning. So, the bike won’t charge on my home charger…is it an issue with the station or the bike? I head over to another Level 2, won’t charge. Hit up a DC fast, and it charges. Back to the dealer it goes…

I’d like to say they had this sorted out in no time flat, but that’s not the case. I have seriously bad luck: The 4th of July was upon us, and, the FIM MotoE Word Cup inaugural race was on July 7. Between the closings for the US holiday and the engineers being preoccupied with preparing for the first ever MotoE race, I had to wait. and wait. and wait. On top of all of this, David passed away on July 3, and my boss announced his retirement at the end of August. When it rains, it pours, and I don’t always roll well with the punches.

Fast forward to July 25th, the 18th Annual Kirby Derby was in two days and they wanted an EV showcase for this years race. I was going to have an electric motorcycle there some way, some how. I messaged the CEO of Energica USA and told him: I know y'all are working hard on a fix to my bike’s AC charging issue. However, I have an EV showcase this weekend at a large city event. I need you guys to either authorize TPS to return my bike to me for the weekend (since it seems evident no repair attempt will happen before next week), or I need an inventory bike to take. TPS says they won’t give it back because Energica may need more diagnostic data. I haven’t ridden since June 27th, please work with me on this. I need my bike for my advocacy and mental health (the later part is not a joke).

I received a quick response - the CEO wanted to talk to the service manager and would get back to me by the end of the day. A few hours later, my friend who works at the dealer texted me and said my bike was being buttoned up and I could get it this afternoon. Score! Even if it won’t AC charge, I can still DC charge it and ride it. I beelined to the dealer after work to pick it up, and was met by their service manager at the door. He told me that when I bring it back, they’re going to crate it and ship it to Italy for the engineers to comb over it. “So don’t bring it back until you’re ready to be without it for a while.” That sucks, but ok, at least my therapy is back. I was not prepared for what happened next.

I have a Nissan Level 1 charger that’s mounted to a post by the street for my Airbnb guests. I decided to document the AC charging failure, so I pulled up to the Level 1 and plugged it in. It started charging. What? I get on the phone with the dealer, and they’re totally confused. They put my old charge controller back in - because the replacement that was sent to them didn’t resolve the issue - so the bike is 100% as it was the day I dropped it off. Personally, I think this issue and the throttle issue are related to the high humidity that my region suffers from. Condensation will develop in places you won’t expect, causing small amounts of corrosion that will cause all kinds of havoc. My bike lives its entire life outside, it is never sheltered. I’m an extreme use case that the engineers probably didn’t account for - chalk it up to being an early adopter. But hey, it works and it’s continued to work.

Hyundai Road Trips

I’ve posted about Cat Rescue using my Hyundai, but I’ve done a lot of other trips with it. I drove out to Salisbury to check on the Greenlots charger out there, we went to Portsmouth VA for a graduation, and several trips to Greensboro and Angier. I’ve got nearly 6700 miles on a car I’ve owned a hair over 86 days as of this writing. I needed something to do while my bike was being repaired, right?

Iron Butt Planning

I have been planning to do an Iron Butt since a fellow NC Energica owner read my IKEA trip blog post. Apparently he had been mulling this over for a while, but was lacking data on how the bike handled successive charges. I provided the missing data, and we began to discuss what a route would look like. I’m not ready to spill the beans on my plan, but, I’m going on record as saying I’m working on it. I have also decided to dedicate this attempt in memory of David, because he was really supportive of the idea when I told him about it in March. I will not be the first to do this, Brandon Miller has already gotten a route approved by the Iron Butt Association and will be attempting the world’s first stock electric motorcycle Iron Butt in California. I messaged Brandon and wished him luck, and that I wanted to break his record. Friendly competition is a great thing! Currently, Terry Hershner is the only electric motorcyclists to hold an Iron Butt title. He accomplished this in 2014 with a heavily modified Zero SR, Brandon and I will be doing it with an off-the-showroom bike. That’s how far EVs have advanced in such a short time, and it’s a mix of the technology of the machine and the charging infrastructure building out that has made this possible.

New Bike Firmware

On Friday August 9, I took my bike up to Team PowerSports to get the firmware updated. The new update changes the charging taper, something I’ve documented on my YouTube channel. Curious to see how it did, I immediately ran over to the Electrify America site by the dealer and plugged in after the update. It was 95F according to the temperature display on the bike, I expected the bike to draw at most 16kW with the air being this warm. Boy, was I in for a surprise!

The new firmware let the bike charge at 20kW with 53% SOC, something I’ve never seen before. It also maintained 14kW up until 98%. The new firmware changes the charging screen layout, and, it starts balancing around 83% instead of at 93%. In further testing, a full charge from 3% to 100% took 39 minutes and 1 second. This is a significant improvement, I’ve charged my bike to full on DC Fast before and it’s taken 45-49 minutes. This is the second firmware update that’s reduced the charging time of this bike, making it even more capable of touring.

10,000 miles in one year

I vowed to put 10,000 miles on this bike in the first year. I wanted to do it to show how far the technology has come, but also how robust the Energica is. I bought this bike on August 16, 2018 - as of this post, I have three days to add 582 miles to my bike. Seems impossible, right? It isn’t. I did 250 miles yesterday, spread out over a few rides in the early morning and early evening. The day before I did 398.1 miles in 12 hours, I have a video coming out about that this week. I wanted to see how I physically and emotionally fared being on the bike for a solid 12 hours (I was going for 16 but cut it short due to the extreme heat). I rode up to Richmond and then down to Smithfield NC, using I-95 for most of the trip. I learned a lot this weekend that will help me achieve my Iron Butt in the fall. But first, I need to achieve my 10,000 mile goal.

[lupismaris]

Well i cried in front of one supervisor and nearly cried in front of the other we are doing GREAT today

[ladylobotomyy]

To Hell and Back PART 4

Hi, thank you again for the support, it really makes me smile. I didn’t think people cared about what I thought or wrote. As always, If you have any suggestions/requests or want me to write a specific scene then feel free to ask, my dms are open, but for now here’s part 4! This series spans across the ending of season 4 if it wasn’t already clear enough.

✰

        After reviewing the file on Lee Heightower, Garcia had triangulated the call to a cell tower in Canada just over the border in Port Huron. A sure fire way to get the FBI involved, as Reid had put it. The problem was there was no way to track it, multiple border crosses had been made on the dates in question. “Trouble is, I’ve got hundreds, and as far as I can tell, if your license doesn’t ping for any prior felonies, you’re pretty much gonna pass go and collect 200 Canadian dollars,” Garcia had informed them. 

        By the time the meeting was over, Hotch and Morgan had asked to speak to Officer Bedwell alone. And by the time they came out of the small office, Hotch was on his way to go speak to Heightower again. From what the team could tell, they had asked to have Heightower released into the BAU custody. 

           Y/n had just started to doze off in one of the seats in the office when Rossi came in, “Garcia found multiple robberies on the nights the abductions occurred, taking things like syringes, o negative blood, chest tubes, sutures.” Her brows furrowed, “He’s stealing medical equipment?” She’d seen this before with unsubs trying to help their significant other, or perhaps unsubs with medical experience taking their pain out on the victims but neither of these ideas felt like it fit with the abductions. 

        They had already called their entire sheriff's department to the tiny room by the time Rossi made his way in with Y/n. A large screen showed the victims faces and abduction information. At this Rossi started, “We believe the man we’re looking for is a sexual sadist.” “What this means is that for him the torture becomes a substitute for the sex act,” Reid explained. 

        “The fact that he’s stealing medical equipment like sterilizing agents and anesthesia tells us he may be performing experiments or surgeries on his victims.” Heightower clenched his jaw and continued to stare forward. The rest of the profile went by in a blur, the team deducing that the unsub would've had history in a medical field. Officer Bedwell waved his hand to his men, “That’s it, any questions, you find me or one of the agents.” 

        Ms. Heightower, William and Lee’s mother, was soon after introduced to the team, greeting her son with a hug and a frown, asking a few questions before being escorted to Officer Bedwell’s office. Leaving the team to brainstorm about the case, who wondered aloud about why the unsub chose to take both men and women. 

        “We said he sees these people as disposable. It doesn’t matter if they’re male or female.” JJ eyed Rossi.

        “For a sexual sadist, male or female isn’t important,” Rossi argued. “The torture itself is the sex.”

        “But wouldn’t it be much easier to approach a prostitute?” JJ questioned.

        “She’s right, a prostitute will get into a car with an unsub. It’s a victim you can isolate easily with no witnesses.” Spencer agreed. “Is Heightower’s mother still here?” Rossi asked. 

        “She’s resting in my office,” Bedwell answered. Rossi continued, “JJ, see if she’s willing to talk to us. I want to know everything I can about her daughter.” She nodded and rose from her seat. Reid was the next to speak, “In the meantime, we need to figure out how he’s separating his male victims from the pack.” Y/n took a long sip on her coffee, “And hope that Heightower gives an edge on the street.

✰            

         Y/n took a bite out of her granola bar, as Ms. Heightower continued, her eyes down in shame,  “I begged William to find her, but it wasn’t fair to him.” “I’m sure he wanted to find her as much as you did,” JJ reasoned, she was always the empathetic one, the one who could calm down any family member, no matter how racked with guilt or pain they were. This didn’t satisfy Ms. Heightower though, “He’d just gotten home, he’d lost his leg and he was going to physical therapy. He hadn’t even processed what happened to him yet.” “But he found her.” Rossi added, urging her to continue. “First time. She came home for 2 weeks and I had her going to meetings. I even got her onto welfare.” “What happened?” Y/n’s voice came out soft. “The day after the first check came, she disappeared.” 

        Out of the corner of her eye, Y/n saw Reid’s head snap up, “Wait, what was that date?”

        “The 2nd?” JJ asked. 

        “What if that's it?” Spencer muttered to himself, provoking a confused, “What,” out of Rossi. 

        Spencer continued his thought out loud, “Lee Heightower was abducted on the 2nd, the day after she cashed a welfare check.” “So?” Bedwell murmured. Spencer leaned over to his laptop, “Look at the dates of the other abductions.” JJ finally caught on, “All the men are abducted around the 1st and 15th of the month.” Something clicked in Y/n’s head, “When welfare checks are issued,” she breathed out. Spencer turned to her, “What if he’s not intentionally clustering them male/female, what if this is how he best isolates his victims?” 

        Rossi interrupted, “You think he has a way to get them alone based on how they cash their checks?” Spencer leaned back and sighed, “And then the rest of the month he resorts to picking up prostitutes.” 

        In the next twenty minutes they’d learned that the victims were going to a place to cash their welfare checks on drugs instead of food or housing at a lodge on Third street. A car was spotted several times on the side of the street next to the building and would honk until a victim came over, assuming it was a drug deal. When Morgan and Hotch had gotten there, the dealer had informed them that he’d seen multiple victims get in the car, including a girl a couple minutes prior who was now reported missing. They’d sent a picture of the girl, ginger hair, a white jacket, and bright green eyes, to every police office in the area and were now sending a couple agents to the border cross. Rossi and JJ took a car, which left Reid and Y/n to their own SUV. 

        ✰ 

        At first she’d been dreading the drive, but Reid had stayed silent as she drove so she was left in peace to think about the abductions. Eventually her mind had failed her and she needed to vent her confusion. “No bodies. They have to be on his property then? Or at the very least somewhere only he knows about.” Spencer hesitated and then cleared his throat, “It’s possible.”

        “Anywhere public would have been found. Even a forest or lake has too many hikers and fishers to not be noticed. With the amount of people he’s taken, he’d either have to be extremely lucky or be disposing of them his own way.” She continued,  taking a glance toward him as she turned the wheel.

        “Considering how many people have been abducted, he’d have to bury them in different places, people would notice a freshly disturbed pile of dirt, let alone a dozen in a row.” His brows furrowed, confusion knitting his features together.

        “But that's the thing,” she continued, “With how many times he would have to dispose of these victims, someone would have had to notice it at some point, there's no way you get that lucky.” 

        “Unless he’s moving them at night,” Spencer suggested, biting on the inside of his cheek. Her heart swelled at his words, reassurance seeping in, maybe I didn’t ruin our friendship after all. Maybe it’s not too far gone.

        She shook her head, “Come on, think about it, even if he moved them at night, no one noticed a huge patch of dirt afterwards. There's too many victims for no one to have noticed even once.”

        “His own property then. It’d have to be big,” Spencer allowed.

        “But not a mansion, he’s not rich, there's no way it’s someone in the upper class,” she continued, pulling up to a red light before making a complete stop. 

        “What makes you say that?” He asked as she turned to look at him.

        “A rich wealthy man in the worn down streets of Detroit, you're telling me that wouldn’t stick out like a sore thumb?” She asked, gesturing behind her with her hands.

        “Okay, but it’d have to be somewhere big enough, but not luxurious, maybe something passed down?” He tried to avoid looking at her eyes, afraid of the discomfort it would cause. 

        “Something like a ranch, a field, a farm, a place that’d be big enough to dispose of, that no one would come near, even if he’s keeping them alive, the amount of room necessary to hold that many people is big.” The light went green and she turned back to the wheel, stepping on the gas heading towards the border. 

        They’d relayed this to the rest of the team when they joined them, but after too long waiting at the border and nothing suspicious coming by, they realized this wasn’t where he was going through. “They should’ve tried to make the cross at least an hour ago,” Reid observed. After asking the officers if we were properly manned or if anything had been reported, they’d come up empty. 

        “This unsubs smart. Everything about his plan is well researched. I think his border crossings would be consistent.” Hotch said. “Are there any former shipping lanes someone could have studied in advance?” Spencer asked. “Nothing marked,” Prentiss answered. 

        “Hunters might know the terrain, but it’s word of mouth, nothing documented.” Bedwell mentioned. William’s head snapped up, “What about the underground railroad?” “How so?” Rossi questioned. William continued, “In the civil war Detroit was the last stop for a slave before they escaped to freedom in Canada. They made the crossing in this area.”

        “He’s right,” Officer Bedwell agreed, “But there aren’t any historical landmarks that register the crossing points.” Morgan was the next to chime in. “Well if I remember right, they built a series of Victorian homes along the river to signify safe passage. Some of those homes might still exist.”

        “We know your sister’s cell phone registered at a tower near Port Huron. He had to be close by when he crossed the border,” Rossi agreed. 

        Hotch had dialed Penelope up in an instant. “Is it possible to cross reference civil war maps with Victorian homes that still exist in the Port Huron area?” He asked.

        “Well I’m gonna take that question as rhetorical and…” More keyboard clicking, “Got one. 3 Miles south of the Blue Water Bridge.”

        Sure enough, 45 minutes later the team was alerted that they’d found the car from one 39 year old Mason Turner who graduated from Michigan Medical Institute in Toronto and then went on to work for a public health organization in Detroit and now lived on a farm. The team was in the SUV and on their way immediately, arriving in a short period of time. Hotch addressed the group, “You five take the exterior, we’ll take the house.” 

        Struggling with her vest, Y/n pulled it over and started to throw her hair up in a ponytail. Reaching behind her back and failing to strap her vest, she cursed at it. Spencer reached for the strap instinctively, he always helped her with her vests since her arms could never reach the back. This time he hesitated, “Would you like me to-” “Yes please,” she answered, the familiar blush of embarrassment making its way to her cheeks. 

        Taking her gun out of her holster, sidestepping the house and making their way around it, the group came to a halt outside the barn. Morgan turned around, eyes connecting with Y/n’s and she nodded, pointing her flashlight into the barn and taking the backside of the barn while Morgan went for the front. Within moments they found the medical equipment that had been taken. Shelves and shelves of them. Morgan called Emily over as he shined his flashlight on it, “We’re in the right place.” She said, peering up at the rows of shelves. “Definitely,” Y/n nodded. Turning together to check the left side of the barn, simultaneously noticing the table full of blood. 

        By the time the barn was fully cleared they retreated outside. A pen full of pigs sat outside, Emily and Y/n looked through the contents of the pen with their flashlights. Y/n had just started to walk towards Morgan when Emily addressed them, “Did you hear that?” Emily had turned toward the thick wood behind the stables, shining her flashlight at the darkness. “What?” Morgan and Y/n asked. “Was that a scream?” Emily asked, all three of them flashed their lights at the forest. “Where?” Y/n asked, taking a step forward. “Anything?” Morgan asked, “I don’t even know what direction it came from,” Prentiss shook her head. “That’s another reason I hate these damn woods,” Morgan scoffed, “It messes with the sound.” Y/n’s mind was somewhere else, trying to calm herself down with the thought that Morgan and Emily were close. It won’t be like last time, I’m not alone. There’s no reason to be scared. 

        “What's this thing?” Morgan asked, walking forward and shining his light on a giant can. It looked like a dumpster, a large gray dusty dumpster. “I don't know as much about pig farms as you might think,” Emily quipped. “A dumpster, or a place for tools maybe,” Y/n suggested. Morgan was already walking towards it, hesitating when he got closer. “Guys. That’s a handprint.” They both walked closer towards Morgan. Emily falling on his left and Y/n taking his right. “That looks like blood,” he said, barely above a whisper. He was right, a dark reddish, brownish handprint was in stark contrast to the grimey surface. Y/n grabbed one side of the lid with one hand and Emily grabbed the other, lifting together. Peering in, Y/n gasped. Emily’s mouth fell open, as she turned to look at Morgan. “Oh.. my god.” Morgan managed to let out. 

okay that’s part 4, and again, i hope it didn’t disappoint. and if it did then, again, that's chill too. tagged everyone who wanted to see more parts. thank yall so much for the kind words!! and again if you have any suggestions or recommendations just ask, and if you want to be tagged in part 5, let me know! if you want me to stop tagging you then let me know that too lol. part 5 will be up tomorrow. have a beautiful day loves :)

@doctorspenceryeet

@anarchy-n-glitter 

@shelikesloki

@reidselle

@ashwarren32

@reidsbookclub

Part 3

Part 5

Masterlist

[buffaluff]

huh, guess i’m back now! it’s been. an eventful two+ months here, sorry for disappearing 😩

what you’ve missed on Buff TV is below the cut:

(this is where i warn you the following includes major medical content warning, cancer cw, death mention, etc)

okay so. you all know my little sister, you know the one:

as some of you may or may not know, she was diagnosed with cancer in the beginning of this year. she went through every chemo infusion, surgery, and radiation treatment like a total champ and was declared clear and good to go at the end of september. her oncologist prescribed a medication that would potentially keep her cancer from recurring which she started second week of october. 3 days later, while at her morning meeting at the ren faire, her heart stopped and she collapsed.

A lot of shit happened, including an airlift to a hospital, lots of CPR, medically-induced comas, surgery, a billion tests, driving back and forth 2 hours to the hospital on weekends while my parents stayed in a hotel indefinitely, and on halloween doctors told us that there is no scientific reason she would ever wake again. and yet, we decided to give her a fighting chance and that if anyone could beat the odds, it’s my sister.

And then about a week later, miraculously, she started showing signs of coming around. and somehow every day since then she has been getting better and better. even the doctors that said she had a 99.9% chance of never waking up said that she’s a miracle. and as of last week she finally got the okay to leave the hospital and is now in a rehab only 10 miles from home. she’s improving every day and is determined to get better and get out ASAP. it will probably take a few months but she’s getting there.

in more awful news, amidst all of that, i had to make the impossible decision to put my beloved 15-year old cat Starsky to sleep. his health had deteriorated very quickly and it was in his best interest not to let him suffer. i’m obviously absolutely devastated and nowhere near close to coping with the loss but with everything else going on in my immediate life, it sort of had to be on the backburner. i’ll miss my furry little soulmate, my perfect guy.

ANYWAYS. that’s my life in a nutshell these past few months.

I’ll close up on some good stuff:

+ the support of my friends near and far has been overwhelming (in a good way)—everyone really stepped up during the worst times of my life and somehow knew exactly what i needed, be it sending food and groceries, showing up at my house to keep me company, or just a good listening ear.

+ work really showed up in covering for me when i had to be at the hospital. they were super understanding for every little thing and my performance review for my very first year at my first non-retail job was positively glowing and came with an awesome raise.

+ and last but certainly not least, i know i’ve said it before and i’ll say it again but i’m so grateful to have @qqueenofhades in my life. having their patience and understanding while my entire life crumbled around me means the world to me. so yes i’m gonna be mushy on main about her 💖 she’s very cool and i like ‘em a lot 😘

OKAY HOPEFULLY THAT’S ENOUGH OF AN UPDATE. we can continue our regularly scheduled content shortly. thanks for being cool 💪✨

[lys-lilac]

Romance MD: Always on Call - Detailed Summary - Toshiki Kasumi

This section contains heavy spoilers! If you want to read and relish the story, go ahead! But if you haven’t and don’t want to, it’s okay. You can go to this link for the character analysis for now-  here

Go through the plot, laugh, cry in every episode and then come back to this section for reading my thoughts and inspiration it gave me! But, I am telling you, this is a wonderful story and you will not regret it... Alright, let’s get started.

Each chapter is carved out with such precision that it directly hits the heart. In one, I was laughing, in the next, crying, and yet in the other, appreciating the progress. It actually felt as if the player is MC itself and everything is happening in real. Honestly, this is amazing. 

There are many key-factors of the story which is different from the genre of otome games, and which fulfills many lost points in the general trend. This is what interested me the most. As I stated in the analysis post (linked in the upper description), the prologue itself satisfied the fact that there is something hidden which needs to be sorted out. 

Let’s discuss about our lives. Anyone’s behavior is based on the environment in which he/she is grown. If someone is bubbly, then that could be due to his/her cheerful environment or maybe, some situation which has nurtured him/her like this. The same goes for strict/cold ones. This piqued my interest. (Leave aside my craze for Medical science, haha...)

Now, which are the things which inspired me the most? Here are those points-

1. The knowledge the story gives- I have never gone through a story which goes through such detail in the field of surgery and medical science. I truly appreciate the amount of knowledge and the terms they provided in each chapter. Along with that, the value of relationships, family, friends is greatly shown in the work, which is so important for character development.

2. Hardwork and diligence- Can I just take one second to praise the amount of hours the surgeons are working? I am impressed to such an extent that it is beyond words to express. And this cardiovascular genius. He doesn’t even sleep...?! There are several instances for this in the story. 

  First, they hold study sessions all night and go back to work without even resting for an hour. Second, when MC brings Kasumi back from England, he straight gets to work. Third, when Kasumi had fever, he just rested for a few hours and again back to his work. He even tells MC to go back to rest, but he doesn’t (or sometimes.)...

This is just fantastic. Whenever you are just about to give up, just come to this section and read this part, I am sure you will be motivated enough to resume back. Can you believe he wrote his first medical paper on how to save a plant when he was in middle school? If he can do, then why not you? 

The same thing goes for MC. If Kasumi decided to be her mentor, that’s because she is excellent in her studies, has an good past record and praises from her previous teachers. She has this zeal to pursue surgery and ace in it. Perfectly. No compromises.

3. She loves herself- I had read a post where one player mentioned that MC was arrogant. I can understand. But, what’s the point of acting sweet and not doing anything? Instead, if you have achieved what you want to be, then you should be confident, and believe in yourself. 

I wanted to make another sub-point, but I think this point will also fit in this section. MC here is unique from other MCs in appearance. In general, the MCs that I have seen so far are extremely beautiful, with long hair, fair skin, bla bla bla. I have also read some views from other players about this. Some games should be designed in the way that they cater to the needs that the players want. Everyone is pretty, as we are the beautiful creation of God. Outer appearance doesn’t matter. What matters the most is your inner quality. Kasumi didn’t love MC because of how she looks, but because she reached out to him when he was about to get crumpled by his emotions. 

What’s more, MC doesn’t take this as consideration. Instead of overthinking about this, she appreciates the beauty of her friends, Asuka and Shirayuki. Thus, their friendship is also strongly bonded.

Okay, no more blabbering. Let’s get straight into the summary-

The story starts with MC being selected as a protege by Kasumi.

Viewpoint of MC- he doesn’t listen to her at all.

The reason why he took her as a student in cardiovascular surgery? That’s because with the developing period, technology is advancing and Kasumi wanted someone to take the department after him. Also, there was shortage of students. More, he was impressed by her high reviews in internship.

Of course, after some reluctance by her, he transfers her to the Orthopedic unit. But, after getting to know that her favorite doctor is moving on to research, she had no choice but to return back to EICU.

The guys celebrate her joining in the Pen. 

 Kasumi and MC were just about to return to the hospital, when they see a building engulfed in flames on the road.

MC is haunted by her previous memories, where a patient commits suicide by burning himself after being saved by the doctors. Meanwhile, both of them rush to the spot for treatment. 

They come back after saving a life, and MC makes Kasumi to talk to him.

Kasumi gives her support by asking her to move forward and leave her painful memories behind. All these facts, and a embrace from him make her decide to study heart.

The following morning, the dark prince assigns her more work (following the CG). Thankfully, Asuka and Shirayuki are there for support.

To gain more experience, Kasumi sends her off to Thailand.

There, she meets Theo, Kasumi’s acquaintance, and starts learning about several cases. Meanwhile, our prince also accompanies her afterwards. (I knew it...)

MC discovers a book of him which is a book of flowers. (This has major importance afterwards, so remember this.) 

Kasumi comes back and MC stays further for two weeks for gaining knowledge.

After coming back, they successfully, perform a CABG (Coronary artery Bypass Surgery). In the night, she gets a text from Kaisei, her friend during the internship. Following Sat., she meets him and his family. (and also Kasumi and Matsunaga... talk of a pure coincidence).

The next day, they have an emergency, and surprisingly, it’s Kaisei and Sora, his son. In spite of desperate efforts, Sora couldn’t be saved. This breaks MC. She couldn’t gather courage to tell that to her friend. Kasumi goes in her stead. The next day, the same scene replays in her mind and she couldn’t perform surgery. 

At last, not able to get control of her emotions, she decides to quit cardiovascular surgery.

She again goes for Ortho. But, things don’t go smooth. A patient, whom MC treated recently, collapses due to heart attack. After being turned down by the cardiovascular department, she had no choice left but to contact Kasumi.

Even if it was his day off, he agrees to come... (And the bgm when he says her not to worry... T_T)

They perform the operation successfully.

Later that night, Kaisei tells her about the frequent visits by Kasumi and how he was shaking when he declared Sora’s death to him.

Along with some push by her favorite doctor the next day, she gets determined again to return to the EICU.

Later, Kasumi invites her to watch the Belt of Venus.

Things get sorted out gradually. With more energy to do work, they decide to have a study session at Kasumi’s house. (Believe me, the before banter was hilarious! @miss-alien-pixel​ has posted it, so feel free to drop by for reference).

The next day, Dr. Neil comes back from England. With many more operations coming up, they all become busy. A case from Mrs. Kitahama also comes, where her family was reluctant for the operation, but both MC and Kasumi agree to the old lady’s wish, and perform the surgery.

 Some days later, while MC was talking to Neil, he suddenly collapses. It was only an attack, but it confirmed aortic stenosis, for which, a surgery was required.

With pressure intensifying, MC does her best to support him. She goes home with Kyogoku that day, and finds out about his late brother, the person whom Kasumi held dear to. (Please go through that part, it has so much things about him there...) 

Things get hectic later on, and there’s the part where MC has a talk with Matsunaga. (the part which was in the intro). There’s so much why Kasumi became like this. If he loved someone, he would do whatever it means to cover for them. And he let all the blame on himself, alone. 

Get ready now, a bombshell is about to drop. Dr. Kurimata returns to the hospital (who had a grudge against Kasumi for who knows how long, just because he took the surgery of Prime Minister’s wife off him. But he did that for building up Ped dept. in the hospital.)

Meanwhile, Mrs. Kitahama catches pneumonia, and after long efforts by both MC and Kasumi, she gets to have a talk with her son before passing away). Kasumi offers MC to go home to mentally recover, but she stays with him. Bad talks about him increase day by day. MC is not able to withstand that, and covers his ears, leaving him surprised. She tells her not to listen to that anymore. Hearing that, Kasumi comes closer, closer aand.... he falls asleep over her as he had fever. (cue the CG)

Bad timing, Kyogoku comes over at the same time. (and we know the volcano is about to burst now...) 

But, as if it was an illusion, Kasumi comes back to ICU after some rest. And Dr. Tsuchiya invites her out. But our dark prince saves her, saying he has plans with her later. (Pbbfft..)

Okay, so it was viewing Belt of Venus... yay!

But, an accident occurs. A speeding truck was just about to hit MC, but she gets shielded by Kasumi. Although on asking, he confirmed no injuries, but something major had occurred, to his hand. 

 As a result, he is not able to even hold a scalpel, let alone surgery. It occurs for almost 15 days. For that, he even hands over the surgery he had been working so long to Dr. Kurimata.

He doesn’t disclose this to anyone, and the other surgeries go on smoothly. He returns to the OR some days after.

MC talks with Neil about Kasumi’s study under him. 

In the meantime, Dr. Kurimata comes by and says that he is overtaking Neil’s surgery. (Speak of the devil now... Grrr)

She and Kyogoku find time to talk to Kurimata and find out the reason why all that was happening. 

And I just can’t process, it’s not Kasumi’s fault at all. Why was that doctor pestering like he was the reason!

He even says that he is using MC to get him kicked out of the case. (Enough!!) And yet, this guy was there, protecting her like anything...

This turns into an argument between Kyogoku and Kasumi. And later, MC also agrees with the former to prioritize himself first, and not love her anymore. (It was a punch to the heart, but that’s what needed to be done at that point).

she runs to the rooftop, and her tears couldn’t stop. After some time, (a huge misunderstanding is going to be here now...) Dr. Tsuchiya comes. They talk for a while about how she was about to be transferred to the cardiovascular department if something occurs.

For Kasumi’s sake, she leaves the EICU and gets under the supervision of Dr. Kurimata.

Again the rooftop. Morning. Dr. Tsuchiya and MC. (Misunderstanding is just about to occur!!)

MC probably is dizzy and was about to fall when Tsuchiya catches him. And he doesn’t let go. He confesses there. Aaand...... Kasumi arrives at that time. (GOSH! NO!)

Seeing the position, he turns on his heel and goes. 

MC at this point has confirmed already that she loves Kasumi, and she couldn’t do anything that could hurt him.

Even after so many awkward moments, I absolutely love how Kasumi is normal with her every time in the talk... 

He tells that he is going to attend a symposium in England. (Doesn’t it sound fishy...?)

Before leaving, he visits Neil during night, praying to stay with him. MC doesn’t interrupt and leaves quietly.

With Kasumi now not there, MC takes the responsibility of Neil’s surgery. It is a success. They further talk about Kasumi after some days. Neil unveils that the flower book was an artwork by Kasumi’s mother. 

The flower snowdrop has a great importance here. This flower is the symbol of hope, but whoever have it, like his mother and Mitsuharu, instead of getting better, left him. And he had come to believe that this flower had an omen of death. That his love caused them to suffer more and die. (That flashback... I am unable to stop my tears even now as I am typing...)

As this dawns on MC, she waits for him eagerly to come back, so that she could sort out everything that happened. But he never returns.

MC sets out to bring him back. After a long search, she finds him in the same park that he had mentioned earlier, talking to a flower... (ugh...)

He is normal, but a little cold this time. MC hugs him from behind and says how worried everyone was. But he just asks to let go of him. (I really thought that he was hurt to such an extent that he decided to leave...)

MC confesses there, and let go of him, when he turns around, and with a pathetic look on his face says,

(That face. Oh my God.)

Cue the third CG. MC hugs him back and comforts him.

After they come back to Japan, things go on as normal. Until one day, Neil requires an immediate surgery due to getting hit on the chest.

All the doctors, join in for the operation. Kurimata lashes out at Kasumi for the death of Mitsuharu. 

MC steps in forward, and says that Kasumi will not let Neil die. They all conduct a successful operation.

The EICU guys gather during the night at Pen to celebrate the returning of Kasumi and MC. 

Kasumi suddenly pulls MC somewhere. And it’s for watching the Belt of Venus. They share a sweet moment there, where Kasumi confesses, asks her to stay with him as she was his only hope, and the story ends, WITH ME CRYING LIKE CRAZY.

(Sweeter than honey, sugar...)

Final Thoughts:

This character!!! God! I am in cloud nine now!!! He went to that extent to protect MC. He was unable to share his hidden feelings with anyone, and now, he could do that. I became very happy when he hugged MC, crying. It symbolized that he was already relying on her, trusting her. Both are genius doctors, both save lives, and both helped each other at times. Along with that, the other doctors’ support was so precious. Their little banters, feeding time, sweet lines Kasumi says and so on, every moment was perfect. The writers did a fantastic job over this one. Overall, a 1000% recommendation! 

If you have reached upto here, first of all, thank you so much for going through my blabbering, and I couldn’t help that. As my hands were unable to stop thinking about this beautiful masterpiece. This will remain my no.1 romance story, no. 1 otome game with my most favorite male and female protagonist!

Thanks for reading! Have a productive week ahead!

Bonus: I just had this in my mind... 

Yui: Uh... What is it, Dr. Kasumi?

Yui: You could expect that after my constant gluing to this article for a while now... Well, did I do a good job? 

Yui: (...how come his smiles are so pure?)

Yui: ...Guardian angel, I did mistakes right? That’s why you are laughing till now... :(

Yui: ! ( I am so happy!)

Yui: Let’s hope people also like it, okay? after all, I poured my heart into it!

Kasumi: mm-hmm.

~Lys

[doc-pickles]

it’s nothing funny just to talk (epilogue)

What happens when you text that random number graffitied on a bathroom stall in your favorite bar? Jo Wilson is about to find out. - In which Bar Princess and Doctor Evil Spawn meet via text.

Hope you guys enjoyed this fic! Please send me requests or reviews or whatever you want!

Monday 6:45 AM

the first day of school 

more like the WORST day of school

You used that one last year, you have to think of a different one every year. 

you know my brain is only working at half capacity right now

i’m de caffeinated

Sorry babe. If it makes you feel better, Jackson said April has two sets of twins in her class this year. 

it does, thank you

AHHHHHHHHH

Did you just type out a scream?

yes!!!!! they changed my door plate!!! 

oh it’s so shiny and pretty

Mrs. Karev’s 3rd Grade Class has a nice ring to it 

I’m just saying Mrs. Karev sounds like she’s more fun than Miss Wilson. 

she’s also twice as tired

damn it I just want my stupid iced coffee

Stop complaining and turn around crazy lady. 

  Jo frowned at her phone, then turned and let out a surprised gasp when she saw Alex standing in the doorway of her classroom. He wore his signature crooked smile and he couldn’t help the way his heart leapt as she looked at him with that loving expression on her face.  

“You’re here! Why are you here,” Jo walked over and kissed Alex, bringing him further into her classroom. “I mean not that I’m not thrilled that you’re here, you just usually don’t like coming because the kids always ask you questions and you know how it goes.”

“Well it’s a big day for you. New room, new class, new last name,” Alex smirked at the last one, then handed Jo the cup of coffee and pastry bag he had been holding. He propped himself against the counter, his hands supporting him as he stared at his wife. “I figured you probably needed a little pick me up.”

Jo eagerly grabbed the coffee cup and took a large swig, not hiding her moan of pleasure. Alex quirked an eyebrow at her, but said nothing as Jo stepped towards him and stood between his legs. He pulled her as close as he could, resting his hands on her hips as he kissed her forehead. 

“I have missed this stupid dirty bean water so much. My crazy doctor husband won’t let me have any,” Jo laughed pointing her finger accusingly into his chest, bringing a laugh out of Alex as well. “But being awake all day is worth paying the price of getting kicked in the rib constantly.”

Alex moved one hand up from Jo’s hip up to her swelling stomach. Jo was slight to begin with, so her rounding baby bump popped out almost immediately. Alex had been thrilled at the sight, Jo on the other hand had begun crying in their bedroom when she couldn’t button her favorite jeans all the way. Nevertheless, Alex didn’t think he could ever tire of seeing his wife carrying their child. 

“It’s okay, I talked to her last night and told her if she gave you any problems, I'd be having words with her,” Jo laughed at Alex’s insistence that their daughter would listen to him. A swift kick pounded against Alex’s hand and he chuckled, leaning down to kiss Jo again. “See? She’s listening. At least she knows dad is here.” 

Jo rolled her eyes, her head coming to rest against Alex’s chest as he began to rub circles into her stomach. He couldn’t believe that the woman in front of him was carrying his baby, that she had agreed to marry him and that somehow, against all odds, they had ended up here. They had been through some rough patches, had more than enough fights, but Alex knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that he and Jo were meant to be. 

“As much as I’d love for you to stay here all day and calm down your daughter, I have to get my room ready,” Jo groaned, unmoving from her spot in Alex’s arms. “Why don’t we switch places today? You can teach and I’ll go do surgery.”

“That’ll blow over great. Unfortunately, my job is much more stressful than yours. You would never get a break,” Alex pulled back and cupped Jo’s cheek, a tired smile appearing on her face. “How about you teach the tiny humans, I save the tiny humans, and then tonight I make the chicken alfredo that our tiny human always makes you crave.”

“Sounds like a fair trade off to me,” Jo leaned into Alex once more, their lips meeting for a long kiss. “Mmm you’re gonna have to leave now before I get used to having you around.”

Alex bid his goodbyes to his wife and walked out of the classroom, standing in the hallway for a minute more watching her. She was beautiful, more than he could ever express to her verbally, as she walked through the room placing folders on each desk. Alex thought that maybe, just maybe , the hell they had been through together had been worth it if this was where they ended up. 

Jo turned and stuck her tongue out at Alex, shooing him away with a smile and a wave. He finally began his walk back to his car, a wide grin pasted on his face. 

Yeah, Alex might just be the luckiest man on earth. 

[geekkatsblog]

Grey's Anatomy Season 16x20 review

(I'm a little lost.)

In my opinion they're running too many storylines at a time but on that note I'll start.

___________________________________________

Richard

(I was honestly disappointed in the amount of screen time they gave him and his case tonight.)

He had my heart in my hands when he disappeared and was about to cut himself open for surgery, seeing him be so vulnerable and as the patient in itself was heartbreaking. I really thought that they would have solved this situation in this episode but I guess not. It is actually getting worse and worse and to top it all off now he's a meme and those things tend to follow you around for life, hopefully that won't be enough to wipe his whole career, he's also forgetting stuff on top of the hallucinations. He thought he was still married to Adele 😭😭😭. Which means he probably completely forgot about Maggie and a lot of the tragedies that happened. I really hope they keep a better eye on him as well because he's a danger to himself right now. And I wish they solve his case and it's a fixable problem. Most importantly I just hope he doesn't die. In the preview it seems like Deluca is going to solve the case. (Not gonna lie Deluca is cool and all but I was kinda hoping that Maggie, Bailey or Meredith would solve it because it would be a little more emotional. But I guess not besides it seems like the only people in this hospital who can solve the unsolvable now seems to be Deluca and Meredith. When is someone else gonna prove their skills.)

___________________________________________

Link/Amelia

For a moment there I thought we were gonna meet baby Link but nope, it was just a false alarm, it seems like the birth comes next week and it better go smoothly, we lost one baby this season, let's not go for 2. Link seems to be having a little realization of what he's going to be giving up for parenthood, but I have no doubt he'll get over it when he sees Amelia holding their son and holds him for the first time. Amelia is also had a panic attack on not being able to protect her baby from the dangers of the world (sort of like the one Callie had back when she was about to take Sophia home.) I think they'll do great as parents, they may have the usual beginning struggle but they'll get the hang of it eventually. They're the one of the new additions to the power couples of Grey's.

I'm wondering if she's going to name the baby Derek.

___________________________________________

Teddy 🤦🏾‍♀️

She has yet to tell Owen that she has cheated on him, still loves Tom and is very much invested in what happens in his life but has decided to move their wedding up. (Oh Teddy) She spent the whole episode so wound up with how Tom was doing with his case and trying to help him get through it that she completely forgot about the wedding planner bringing over cake samples for her and Owen's wedding and yet she wants to move the wedding up? I can't for the life of me understand where thos love triangle is even heading. At this point it looks like she may very well end up with both. However they need to do something soon because they're kids involved, it's not just them.

___________________________________________

Tom

My poor baby has now begun to feel the dreaded curse of the Seattle Grace. Since the beginning of time that hospital weather merged or renamed has been a curse on all who enter the doors and Tom Koracick is feeling the wrath. His ex brought her son to him for the removal of a brain tumor and apparently the son looked just like the one Tom lost 😭😭. His reactions tore at me the whole night from the time he saw him to the time, he turned over the case to Amelia straight to the time he begged Amelia to do the surgery while in labor.

I was hoping that maybe just maybe this woman was the key to helping him get over Teddy, but she's married it seems and This just made Teddy cling to him more making the situation even worse. And based on the preview for next week it's about to get even worse. All I can say is Tom baby no, think about what you're doing.

On another note what happened to the billionaire story line? I guess they got away with it then.

___________________________________________

Jo and Levi

Just as expected they struck up a friendship. Jo truly is a legend, she is one of the only people in that hospital who has refused to let someone vent their problems over a patient or while they're working. That is queen moves right there, keep work at work. It was so rare that Levi thought she was being rude and packed his stuff up. I'm glad they have each other the friendship is entertaining, Alex isn't coming back and Link's about to be a father and Levi and Nico seem to be actually over for good so at least the have somebody to lean on. As long as it doesn't become sexual I'm here for it.

___________________________________________

Deluca

It seems like Deluca is gonna solve yet another impossible case and he may very well be the Dr House of Grey's so I'm gonna need them to let him get the help he needs so the doctors will listen to him again so my baby can thrive because he may be unstable but no one can deny that he doesn't know what he's talking about.

___________________________________________

Catherine

As expected is devastated, she basically said the same thing I did last week, if she had just swallowed her pride this whole thing may have been solved earlier. But I was hurting for her the whole time. Her husband was sick and she didn't know because they were fighting and now he thinks he's married to the woman before he was married to her. There's a lot of pain, regrets and guilt. However I'm glad to see she isn't holding it in and is letting Jackson comfort her and I was also pleased to see that she went on her private jet to collect him and has been glued to his side the whole time. For the First time besides the trick last week, I'm seeing hope for there marriage. I hope I get to see that hope blossom.

___________________________________________

Maggie

Is having regrets for her sexcapade last week, but she couldn't have known that was going to happen. She's with Richard the whole time and now he probably doesn't remember who she is, I hope she's going to have someone there for her as well. Speaking of which where's her bae? Are we just never going to hear from him again?

___________________________________________

Meredith

Trying to save Richard, she looked so somber the whole episode because that is one of the last people who has been there from the beginning lying on the table and can possibly be suffering from the same thing her mum suffered from. Fingers crossed that she's not going to lose another one of her family. At least she seems to be willing to do anything to save him even think outside the box.

___________________________________________

Bailey

Needs to take it down a notch now I love my Bailey and I know that there are certain protocols you need to follow and that it is noticable that Deluca is having a problem but it really doesn't hurt to stop and listen, no matter how unstable you think the person is, she could at least check out what he's saying.

___________________________________________

Jackson

Left the teachings of Mark Sloan to help support his mother and Richard and may possibly be packing his bags and heading to Station 19. (Due to my forgetful brain and a mix up in the changed time slots I watched station 19 as well tonight.) He seems to be interested in joining Ben as the new medic 1 but who knows?

___________________________________________

Notes and questions

• Is Richard going to be ok?

• Will he and Catherine patch their marriage?

• Will Teddy finally confess to Owen that she cheated?

• Who will she choose Owen or Tom?

• Where is Maggie's new love? He seemed really adamant on being together and now in this time when she'll need support he's nowhere to be seen.

• Are we ever going to find out if Deluca was right about the girl and her guardian. (I mean we just gonna leave that out?)

• Same goes with Tom and the billionaire.

• Will Amelia's pregnancy go smoothly?

• Will Deluca finally get the help he needs?

___________________________________________

Next week is the Season finale and I really hope they can wrap everything up and it doesn't leave more questions than answers.

On another note I hope everyone is well and continues to stay safe.

[thechaseaphrodite]

Time Warp

Chapter 01

Hi guys! How are you?

First, I would like to thank you very, very, very much for all the reviews, kudos, favorites and followings that we got only with the prologue!

I would especially like to thanks: Anita, BrittneyJ2020, calzona4me, Calzonafan123, chuckechesnut, Felicity_Olicity, helenkidd1, Kels1769, koreee.95, LarisUSB, Mariz Vida, MauraIslesJr, Sisidandan, TheMikaelsonPrince, Tifenn and WitchArabella

And of course, a special thanks to my beta reader: @tiggermay

Answering Reviews: I planned to go back so far for many reasons that will be revealed throughout the story. And yes, this will impact many things, including Sofia, but calm down, we'll cross that bridge when we get there.

I got some comments saying that Callie was out of character because she was “sleeping around”. First thing, right now Callie is single, so if she wants to sleep with all of New York, it’s her right. However, Callie’s behavior was indicative of something intentional in the story. After all, you know Callie doesn't usually spleep around. Or maybe that was just Arizona's jealousy talking. You didn't EVER see Callie with anyone. So don't be so quick to judge, guys, and hold your fire.

And, take it all with a pinch of salt.

Finally, I just wanted to say that I plan to try to post a new chapter every Thursday.

I hope you enjoy this first chapter!

When Arizona opened her eyes again, she was in a bed. She sat up slowly, her hands going to her left leg, caressing her own skin, delightedly watching her own left foot move, like it hadn’t in years.

"God..." she murmured, a smile breaking out in her face. Arizona jumped out of bed, laughing as she felt both her legs move together, wiggling her toes in absolute delight. She ran to the bathroom, smiling at her reflection, ten years younger. She giggled as she saw Kai's face over her shoulder.

“We're back,” she said to him, maintaining eye contact through the mirror. “We’re really back.”

Kai laughed softly and nodded. "We’re back".

Arizona turned squealing with joy and embraced the half-naked man. "How�� How are we going to do this?" she murmured, keeping her face against her guide's chest, the scent of the meadow, not having yet left Kai's skin.

Kai shrugged. “Only you can see me Arizona. I will follow you and help you with the memories, but you’re free. This is your second chance.”

Arizona sighed turning to the mirror. "This is my chance to make things right with Calliope," she murmured lovingly. “Wait, wait. What day is it?” she muttered taking out her cell phone. She frowned, thinking it would take her a while to readjust to the technology. “January 2009... Dr. Kenley will have a heart attack...”

"Tomorrow. Your main case will be Jackson Prescott. And you will meet Miranda Bailey and Alex Karev.”

Arizona nodded. “I remember that case. It was a true miracle. I think I can do better this time. But before... Before, I need...” she looked around the apartment for her laptop. “I need to talk to Nick. He needs to get proper treatment. It's been three years since he was diagnosed, I think…”

Kai sat on Arizona’s couch, throwing a small ball against the wall while the pediatrician wrote to her best friend.

 Hey Nick!

How are you? I haven't heard from you in a while... Alright, alright, I know I turned into a horror show during my residency, but now that I've finished my fellowship I should’ve a more normal life. Or as normal as a doctor's life can be.

Because I'm a doctor, remember that, Nick? Even though I'm a pediatric surgeon, I studied everything. That is, I can help you if something is wrong.

Arizona took a deep breath. Theoretically, she shouldn’t know about the tumor.

I have a feeling something is wrong. Let me help you, Nick; please contact me!

With love,

Arizona

 She bit her bottom lip before clicking send. With that done, Arizona decided to explore her old apartment. The memories were coming back little by little, like little flashes through her mind. She was so focused that she didn’t even notice Kai fade into the background.

It didn't take long for her to hear the sound of a new email. She jumped back to her laptop. She took a moment to acclimate back to the old technology. She had gotten used to the smoothness and easy access to everything the technology of her time provided. This might take a minute, she thought and waited while everything was uploading while silently longing for the digitalized easiness she left behind.

 Hey, Phoenix!

Your sixth sense is damn accurate, isn't it? I was trying a more unorthodox route of treatment for my little issue, but if you could feel something wrong all the way back to the States, maybe it isn’t working so well, after all. But don't worry M.D., I'm already buying my ticket to Seattle and I'll be a good lab rat for you.

Love,

Nick

 Arizona laughed softly, her eyes welling up with tears that start streaming down her cheeks. Nick was alive and she was going to have enough time to save him. She sniffled a few times, trying to calm down. Nick was coming home. He would be fine. Now, she needed to focus on Jackson Prescott.

Arizona pulled out her files from Hopkins and began to study her case notes of children with short bowel syndrome, so that she could figure out how she could buy enough time for Jackson Prescott, until the transplant arrived.

Honestly, she wanted to strangle Kenley. Repeating the same procedure twelve times, what the hell was he thinking?! Three years spent torturing a poor boy instead of leaving his comfort zone!

She would arrive in the OR tomorrow with a real plan and she would show everyone why she was (or rather, would become) one of the greatest pediatric surgeons in the country.

***

Arizona arrived early at the hospital so she could organize Kenley's charts. She picked up Jackson Prescott's binder and took a deep breath, looking at Kenley's notes. She'd like to just put the boy on the transplant list, right away. But Bailey would fight her every step of the way, and this was an unnecessary fight. She could save as much bowel as possible, as well as remove the most damaged part of his liver, which would give her more reasons for the transplant request. She nodded to herself, thinking that it was a solid plan. Before leaving her new office, she smiled at Kai. Her angel was barefoot and wearing only black sweatpants, his huge white wings folded and dragging on the floor as he walked a few steps behind her.

They had talked and settled on Kai always being around (even if sometimes he disappeared from her sight completely) to guide her through the past.

Arizona skated to the General Surgery Nurse Station. She couldn't contain the huge smile on her face when she saw the young - still a resident - Miranda Bailey.

"Doctor Bailey!" she called, moving toward her and extending her hand. “Arizona Robbins” she introduced herself. The future chief of surgery looked at her hand for a moment before shaking it, with obvious hesitation on her face. "I'm taking over Doctor Kenley's patients."

“You are the peds surgeon.”

"Yeah," she confirmed nodding her head, the permanent smile on her face. "I see you’re assisting with Jackson Prescott." Arizona paused a moment to breathe. “With all due respect to Dr. Kenley, he was a wonderful physician, but I'm surprised he has insisted on this course of treatment for so long. When it wasn't - you know - working.” Arizona studied Bailey's face, watching her friend take a deep breath, clearly annoyed with her. Dammit, she had offended Bailey. Again! "Oh, no I'm not criticizing you!" She quickly amended. "You didn’t make the call."

"Yeah, but I supported the call," Bailey recited, pushing the chair away from the desk. Bailey took a deep breath and began trying to explain. “We hadn't turned the corner yet, but Kenley was sure that if we kept on doing what we were doing-”

"Jackson's case is quite severe," Arizona interrupted. They had no time for these debates.

The boy is dying Bailey. Every minute counts. I need you to trust me. Arizona thought worriedly. Bailey looked at her incredulously.

"If you're suggesting we were torturing him with useless procedures..."

Arizona smiled. Bailey was still Bailey. "A lot of senior peds surgeons believe stritoroplasty works, and sometimes they're right." That was enough for Bailey to nod in agreement with her. Arizona took a deep breath. She knew she couldn't go straight for the transplant, but that didn't mean she wasn't frustrated "So, we'll go with this, today, but with his liver disease, we need to start exploring other options." She paused a moment just to smile at Bailey. "I’ve got to run." She said pulling away. “Dr. Kenley had a big case load. I will see you at the OR!” She said before taking off and skating away.

A giggle she barely managed to hold back almost escaped her mouth. If she could, she would be skating all day. Arizona had cried a little, while putting on her heelies that morning. She was skating again. Arizona stopped before entering the locker room to prepare for Jackson's surgery… Unfortunately, she doubts the nurses would let her skate into the OR.

***

Arizona smiled as she saw Karev preparing to enter the OR. She quickly began cutting, with a precision far superior to someone who had just finished their fellowship. She took a deep breath, knowing the mess that would be inside the boy.

"Karev, can you pull the retractor more?" She asked.

Her future resident obeyed the order without hesitation, knowing exactly how much more pressure to apply. "Like this?"

She agreed. "Yeah, great."

Arizona shook her head. "Look at this. It is a mess. He'll have maybe ten centimeters of bowel when we're done here.”

“Wow, wow, wow… Can't we try Bianchi's procedure to try to save some more, then?” Bailey interrupted anxiety clear in her voice.

Arizona didn't even deign to look at the resident in front of her. “The bowels are dead, and the liver is cirrhotic. There is no way to save anything.”

"Yeah, but-"

“Dr. Bailey, this kid should have been on the transplant list a year ago. It is a miracle that he’s still alive.” Arizona took a deep breath. (“Teach them Arizona. They are your ducklings.” Norman McHale's voice, her former mentor echoing in her mind.) “This is what happens when you insist on the same procedure twelve times…. All right, what we’re going to do is try to keep as much of his bowel as possible. He’ll need to go on liver dialysis as soon as this is over. I know we have some machines here for a clinical study but keeping this child alive is a priority. And we'll need a transplant… Laura.” she called the intern who was watching the surgery. “This boy goes on the transplant list today. Go get the paperwork ready. Intestine and liver.”

“I think we should ask for another opinion.” Bailey interrupted her again.

Arizona looked at Bailey. "Laura, as an order from your attendant, go get the paperwork ready."

As soon as the OR door closed again, she moved her focus to the child in front of her. “Dr. Bailey, as soon as we get out of here, I'll give you the cell phone number of Norman McHale, the head of Pediatric Surgery at Hopkins. You'll say Arizona send you, and he'll say Jackson needs a transplant two minutes into the call.”

“There is no need to snap at me-”

"Actually, there is," Arizona replied. “You're good, Bailey. You could be a great pediatric surgeon, and you have what it takes to be chief of surgery one day. But you are still a resident. Which means you are still in training and still learning. And what you need to learn today is that repeating the same procedure twelve times won't bring different results, and Dr Kenley put this boy at risk. And in medicine, and especially in peds, your focus cannot be on you, or the attendant you're working with, but on the patient. You don't know me yet, I’m the stranger in a ponytail and you liked and trusted Kenley, but that doesn't change the facts.”

Karev looked at Bailey's astonished face. The rest of the surgery was done in silence.

***

Arizona collapsed on her couch that night, grunting. "God, I had forgotten how frustrating Bailey could be."

Kai laughed hoarsely. "I think you're the first doctor who acknowledged that she's still a resident."

Arizona sighed turning her cell phone in her hand. She missed the social networks and games on her old phone (well, future phone). And the tablets, which had greatly improved the efficiency in the hospital. She didn't like working with so much paper anymore. "Do you think she'll hate me? We’ve never really butt heads like that before…"

Kai shook his head, his black curls bobbing almost childishly. "I think she'll respect you. You're fighting for this child. She sure appreciates that."

Arizona nodded absently. It had been almost a week since Jackson's surgery had taken place. No compatible donors yet. And no excuses to talk to Calliope. Or Mark. God, she'd missed Mark. And Lexie was still there. She sighed. Kai had advised her to let things progress naturally. So, she would try to focus on Jackson for now. And soon, soon she could get closer to her friends. She fell asleep, still lying on her couch, being woken up a few hours later by the sound of her pager.

"Shit, 911."

Arizona jumped off the couch, still smiling at her left leg as she put on her sneakers and bolted out the door.

***

She spotted Bailey outside Jackson's room as she straightened her white coat.

"I'm up, I'm here." she announced trying to ward off her tiredness. "What happened?"

The resident walked fast to her, preventing her from entering the room. "Jackson's BP has gone down a little since yesterday. No big deal, but if we make a few calls and be a little pushy, we might be able to pass him a little further on the transplant list."

Arizona looked at her resident, shocked. "Dr. Bailey, you paged me 911 at 2:30 in the morning. To chat?"

Bailey looks embarrassed for a second. "You like to chat. You're chatty."

Arizona closed her eyes, taking a deep breath. "Not at 2:30 in the morning!" She looked at Bailey, worried for a moment. "Look, he's young, he's almost at the top of the list. UNOS will find a donor for him as soon as it’s possible" (or Webber will do it, just like last time) "And God knows that staying up all night chatting about it won’t help. I'll try to get some sleep, and I suggest you do the same. "

"He’s running out of time," Bailey complained in a chocked-up voice.

Arizona smiled sadly. She had almost forgotten about this insecure Bailey. "They always are. Welcome to peds" she repeated her words.

***

Arizona was preparing a coffee for herself. She had forgotten that there were twenty other children who needed her care besides Jackson. And she had just sent one of them home along with her parents, because there was simply no treatment. And she was frustrated. Because there was treatment. That hadn’t yet been finalized. Anyway, she had recommended the girl for clinical research, but her parents didn't want her to be a guinea pig. She had only been taking a few minutes to compose herself when Bailey found her.

"Okay, I made a list of the best pediatrics GAs in the country. I think between the two of us, we can get one of those guys to come here and do a TIPS procedure on him."

Arizona took a deep breath. She knew how to do a TIPS procedure. She was excellent at TIPs procedures. To hell with the technicality of… You know, not actually having learnt them yet here. She didn't need another surgeon intruding into her OR and trying to tell her what to do, ordering her and bossing her around and most importantly distracting her from her job. A job at which she excels, thank you very much. "Firstly, I am perfectly capable of performing a TIPS procedure," she began. "And secondly, doing a TIPS procedure on a boy who needs a new liver is putting a band aid in a bullet hole."

Bailey looked exasperated. "Well, do you have a better idea?"

Arizona smiled, rolling her eyes. "I have. Wait for UNOS. Trust the process. Why can't you?"

That was enough to piss Bailey off. "Because I'm tired of waiting while this child gets worse! Jackson is tired! His mother is tired! The only one who is content to sit on her ass and wiggle your fingers waiting is you!"

This ignited Arizona’s temper. "Look, I've been patient with you, I've been nice, but I am really over you constantly telling me how to do my job!”

"Well, clearly someone has to!”

"I have twenty other children-"

"And I am concerned over this one child!"

"SHUT UP"

Arizona stopped arguing with Bailey staring at the door where Karev was standing. She hadn't even noticed him there.

"Respectfully," he corrected himself, "respectfully shut up. Because we have organs," he announced with a crooked smile and a raised eyebrow.

Arizona swallowed hard. She was the attending physician. She would have to go, on a small plane, with Karev to fetch these organs.

She nodded quickly. "Dr. Bailey, you know the procedure. Go get Jackson ready. Doctor Karev we'll go get those organs."

***

Arizona was sweating cold as they boarded the plane. She sighed as she sat in the front row. Lexie had sat in the back, and she was dead, so Arizona couldn't get past the third row of any kind of aircraft.

But Lexie isn’t dead she thought, trying to breathe. Lexie is just fine. Lexie is going to be fine, if I have anything to do with it.

Since it was just the two of them, she expected Karev to choose a seat away from her, only to be surprised when he sat right beside her.

Arizona couldn't speak, fear (your leg is still here. you're safe) forming a lump in her throat.

Kai sat behind her, one hand on her shoulder. "It's fine, Arizona. You are safe." Her angel reassured her.

As the plane began to accelerate for take-off, she closed her eyes, only to be surprised when Karev gripped one of her hands, squeezing it gently. She squeezed back until the plane was high when she finally managed to breathe again. "I... Thank you."

Alex just shrugged. "Fear of flying?"

She nodded. "I ..." (I was in a plane crash. But she hasn’t. Not yet. Hopefully, not ever) "I always feel closer to death on planes than in the OR."

Karev nodded and went back to ignoring her.

"I saw Izzie the other day" (she doesn't deserve you Alex, she'll break your heart. Jo will arrive soon and she's perfect for you).

Alex nodded. "Yeah"

Arizona smiled. "It's nice. You're a beautiful couple" (you and Jo will be even better).

She let Karev spend the rest of the trip pretending to be asleep. But he took her hand again as soon as the commander warned that they would begin the descent. Arizona smiled. The golden heart was there.

***

The next time Karev spoke to her was when he saw the patient from whom they would take the organs.

"It's just a kid."

Arizona nodded, knowing what it was like to deal with the shock for the first time. "Yes. Let's get the organs."

***

Alex didn't look up during the entire procedure. Not even when she explained aloud what she was doing and the differences in anatomy between adults and children for him.

When they got back to the plane, he didn't sit next to her either.

She took a deep breath. "Spit it out Karev. Don't brood."

He glared at her. "We just got a little boy's intestine and liver out. A dead little boy! And you don't mind! You didn't even blink during the whole procedure, and now you stand there, shaking in fear of a plane, but you didn't care about that kid!"

Arizona stared at her hands in her lap shaking. "I know they unplugged that little boy. Do you think I don't get that? Do you think I don't know about the tiny coffin they're going to stick him in? I know all about the tiny coffins. I see them all the time. In my sleep.” She took a deep breath “But we move on Karev. You turn your back on the tiny coffins and move on. To the next child."

Karev turned forward still angry. But as the plane was about to descend, he reached out to her hand through the aisle.

Arizona gripped his hand tightly. Fear consumed her, but a part of her was proud. Here was her pediatric surgeon.

***

The transplant surgery was quiet and calm. Arizona took a deep breath. They had been faster this time. Jackson's treatment was more advanced.

Kai was watching over her shoulder. "Everything looks fine on my end."

Arizona smiled and nodded. "Finishing the vena cava."

Karev smiled at her. "Anastomosis looks good."

Bailey smiled. "Now all that’s left is to release the clamps."

Arizona smiled at Bailey. God, she loved how she used a stool to get taller, so she had a better view of the patient. "Do the honors, Miranda. He’s your patient."

Bailey smiled at her. "Thank you, Dr. Robbins"

She watched carefully as Bailey removed the clamps, paying attention to the dark marks, but she didn’t need to.

"Call on me!" intern Sadie Harris interrupted. "There is a spot on the duodenum."

Arizona looked at that angrily. Damn it, not again! She shook her head.

"What the hell is that ?!" Bailey snapped.

Arizona took over immediately. "Necrosis… Dammit! Get the organs out now! We'll need a new transplant, looks like we're going to do a TIPS procedure, Bailey."

"This can't be happening..." Bailey started tearfully. "Not to this little boy."

Arizona was already putting new clamps. "Dr. Harris help Dr. Bailey step away, Dr. Karev you're taking over."

Sadie immediately moved behind Bailey. "No, I can go on!" Bailey protested her eyes full of tears.

Arizona did not raise her eyes as she removed the increasingly dark organs. "That's an order, Miranda. Karev!"

Karev forcibly removed Bailey, quickly picking up the instruments. "How long to find new organs?"

"Twenty-four hours. Maybe more, since he was already on liver dialysis." Arizona warned. "Harris, Bailey, find all interns and residents. Someone in Seattle must be compatible with this boy and I want all hands-on deck, working on finding new organs. Now!”

Arizona didn't even have time to look up to see the mighty Dr. Bailey, running out of an OR to follow an order.

***

Arizona collapsed when she got home. "I did everything right!" she said tearfully to Kai. "Everything! And yet, Jackson is dying and its days earlier, which means the original donor for Jackson isn’t there!"

Kai sighed and sat beside her. "Arizona. Take a deep breath. Whatever is meant to happen will happen.”

Arizona shook her head. "He's already on the liver dialysis machine. That gives us an advantage. Still..."

And in that moment, it was as if a light bulb appeared above Arizona's head. She ran back out her door, and rushed back to the hospital, just in time to see Bailey, crying outside.

“Dr. Bailey?” she called softly.

“I want off this case.” She whispered. “Oh God, I want off this case. I want off... This little boy is going to die, and I just don’t want to be here to see it. I just don’t want… I just want off. I want off this case. I want off!”

Arizona shook her head. "Jackson is already on liver dialysis, but we can put him on peritoneal dialysis. This will delay any swelling in the brain and not require further surgery."

Bailey looked at her in surprise. "It doesn't solve the problem of..."

Arizona nodded. "No. But it will buy us time. I'll do the procedure, and don't let anyone rest until we get those organs."

***

When Arizona had set up everything to begin the dialysis procedure, Alex Karev and Izzie Stevens hurried through the door. She smiled at the two, watching as they quickly took over their positions.

"Arizona, don't let this woman work with needles. Something's not right with her." Kai murmured in her ear.

She nodded. "Doctor Stevens, switch places with Doctor Karev. He's been working with this boy for a while."

Izzie nodded in confusion, going to hold the ultrasound while Alex took over the catheter.

Arizona refocused on the boy, but she noticed Izzie looking anguished while staring at something behind her.

She began to instruct Karev in detail, on what they were doing and for what purpose.

"Shut up," she heard Izzie mutter.

"What was that?" she asked to the blonde doctor incredulously. This resident had not just told her to shut up during such a delicate procedure. She wouldn’t dare... Karev looked equally concerned.

"Nothing. Sorry Doctor Robbins" Izzie said louder this time.

Melinda Prescott entered the room. "Has UNOS said anything?"

Arizona looked at the doctor holding the ultrasound. "Dr. Stevens will call them again. And contact Dr. Bailey and see if any of our doctors were lucky." she said to the woman, who was clearly and understandably worried. Izzie was looking around anxiously and didn’t move to carry out the order. "Doctor Stevens, are you paying attention?!"

Kai shook his head. "Arizona, no. There’s something wrong with her, this doctor isn’t all here."

"Dr. Stevens, ask at the nurses' station to make the calls. And then go get some rest."

Izzie nodded, almost in a daze, propping the ultrasound on the patient's bed and leaving the room. Arizona and Karev finished the procedure in silence.

"Dr. Robbins, Izzie... She was tired. We’ve all been up all night trying to find the organs and-"

Arizona silenced Karev with a gesture. "It's okay. Just talk to her. This is a serious case, Karev."

Arizona took a deep breath, appreciating her work. "Good job here Alex." she complimented. "I'll make the rounds, try to talk to Izzie, okay?"

***

Arizona was returning from her rounds to check Jackson's PIC when George O'Malley came running toward her, Richard Webber right behind him.

"I got it Dr. Robbins!" George announced "We have the organs! OR number 3!"

Arizona looked into the room, Jackson's PIC still below the limit. She nodded. "Great job O'Malley" she said with a smile on her face.

***

The surgery went well, and Jackson's heart didn't stop. Not even once. After they sent the boy to Recovery, Arizona leaned against the wall taking a deep breath.

Miranda Bailey stopped next to Arizona. "I... I didn't think you could handle this case. After today I think you were the only person who could have ever handled it." she said softly. "I almost crossed a line today. Before O'Malley arrived... I was going to ask Derek Shepherd to let a man die so I could save this boy. But I didn't break my oath. Thanks to you."

Arizona laughed softly and took Bailey's hand. "You are an excellent doctor, Miranda. I know you, and when it comes down to it, you will always do the right thing… And thank you. For trusting me."

Arizona gave Bailey one last soft smile and turned back to staring at the walls quietly, cherishing these few moments of peace and letting the immense feelings of gratefulness flow through her, still in awe of this new chance at life she was given. She sighed softly and let her head fall back against the wall, content in the feelings of achievement and camaraderie shared between her and the woman who would one day be one of her closest friends.

[fitprocafe-blog]

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[bezoarcureforpoison]

VANCOUVER—Canadian doctors and abortion care providers say a new anti-abortion film premiering in Canada on Friday misrepresents the facts about abortion.

Unplanned is based on a memoir by Abby Johnson, a former Planned Parenthood clinic director who became an anti-abortion advocate and now leads an organization that provides support for abortion care providers who want to “leave the abortion industry.”

Unplanned depicts a period in Johnson’s life when she personally accessed two abortions and rose up the ranks of Planned Parenthood, starting as a volunteer and eventually becoming the director of a clinic in Texas. The pivotal moment comes when she assists with an ultrasound-guided abortion and sees a fetus “twisting and fighting” away from the abortion instruments — a scene many health-care providers have condemned as unrealistic.

Several pro-choice organizations have spoken out about the potential dangers of the film.

The Abortion Rights Coalition of Canada calls Unplanned “a dangerous piece of anti-abortion propaganda” containing “vicious falsehoods.” National Abortion Federation Canada Director Jill Doctoroff said she’s concerned that “it looks like a regular movie,” but “really it’s more propaganda.”

“It can be hard for people to distinguish between what’s really based on true facts and what’s been changed from reality,” Doctoroff said in an interview.

Johnson, however, maintains the film is accurate.

“While there may be a few abortion supporting doctors who state that the film is inaccurate, there are many other physicians who have publicly responded, stating that this is exactly what abortion looks like and that the film is entirely medically accurate,” Johnson said in a statement provided to Star Vancouver via email.

Read more: Anti-abortion movie ‘Unplanned’ set to screen in Canada amid protests, free speech arguments

Star Vancouver has viewed the film and fact-checked a few of its most questionable portrayals and claims about abortion, consulting with Abby Johnson and experts provided by the film’s PR team, as well as with prominent medical experts not affiliated with the film.

FACT CHECK:

The movie: In the first scene, an ultrasound is performed on a woman who is in the process of having an abortion. The 13-week fetus is depicted with a large head approximately 1/3 the length of its body, which has somewhat developed limbs and joints.

What the filmmakers say: Abby Johnson said this was normal growth and referred to a page on thebump.com, which stated a fetus would be “as big as a lemon.”

Fact check: Dr. Jen Gunter, a U.S.-based OBGYN with experience providing abortions, and author of the upcoming book The Vagina Bible, said that while it would be difficult to tell the age of the fetus by simply looking at an image, it was likely the fetus would be “more advanced” than 13 weeks.

“You’d have to know measurements ... in real life it’s really small, just a few centimetres,” she said.

The movie: The doctor insists on using an ultrasound as a guide while he performs an aspiration abortion. He pushes a catheter tube toward the fetus, and it squirms and flails away. The doctor says “They always move, that’s why I do it this way,” referring to the fetus attempting to evade the vacuum suction of the tube. The woman receiving the abortion appears to be in pain and is crying.

What the filmmakers say: The film’s team provided the Star Vancouver with a response from Dr. Kathi Aultman, a retired OB/Gyn and former abortion provider, who said that “such reactions by the fetus have been scientifically documented in numerous studies” and said the depiction of this abortion “was not sensationalized but very accurate for the gestational age and technique that was used.”

Aultman, a former abortion provider, is a devout Christian and anti-abortion advocate. In a November 2018 video interview with the Christian Broadcasting Network, Aultman compared abortion to murder, and said she is a “mass murderer” for having performed abortions. She said that she healed from her past wrongs with a counsellor who prayed with her and spoke in tongues.

Fact check: Gunter told Star Vancouver that this scene from the film was “100 per cent bullshit.”

“Fetuses are not capable of purposeful movement,” she said. “That’s not proven scientifically ... That’s just not a thing.”

She added that pain can vary depending on the patient, but that if someone was in a lot of pain during a procedure, doctors would stop and check in.

“Most people are not in a lot of pain with modern techniques,” Gunter said. “Some people might be more emotional, you can image how traumatic it might be for someone who has had a sexual assault, but we would stop if someone was in a lot of pain.”

The movie: Abby’s character in the film says she regrets her abortion. “Anger disappeared only to be faced with self loathing,” she says, and various depictions of women who had abortions throughout the film suggest that this is how people can expect to feel after having an abortion.

What the filmmakers say: “It’s one of the many feelings associated with having an abortion,” said Johnson in a statement.

Fact check: Women who have abortions have varying emotional responses, medical experts say. A 2017 peer-reviewed articlepublished in JAMA Psychiatry titled “Women’s Mental Health and Well-being 5 Years After Receiving or Being Denied an Abortion” studied 956 women over 5 years and concluded that while women who had abortions did present with adverse psychological outcomes, there was greater risk of those symptoms for women who were denied abortions.

These findings also do not support policies that restrict women’s access to abortion on the basis that abortion harms women’s mental health. Having worked in abortion care for ten years, Doctoroff said most clients are grateful for the professional and compassionate care they receive, a sentiment echoed by women who shared their abortion experiences with Star Vancouver.

The movie: In another scene, Abby takes the RU-486 pill, also known as the abortion pill. She is told that the cut off to take the pill is nine weeks.

Fact check: Gunter confirmed that nine or 10 weeks is the cut off for the abortion pill.

The movie: An hour after Abby takes the pill, she is shown screaming and stumbling for the bathroom, blood dripping from her legs while she vomits. She passes large clots and more blood into the tub. Abby says she spent “12 hours in agony” before the pain went away, and it was followed by “eight weeks of blood clots, eight weeks of excruciating cramps.”

What the filmmakers say: Johnson describes this experience as “very common.”

Fact check: Gunter said this depiction “wouldn’t be normal at all” for someone taking the abortion pill. While some bleeding does occur, Gunter said that “people aren’t sent home to bleed in the bathtub.”

However, she said pain levels can vary, and are usually dependent on how much pain a person has during their monthly period. “Some women have such painful periods that it’s worse than a heart attack ... Usually it’s like a really heavy, crampy period.”

The movie: In another scene, a clinic staff member tells Abby about the “products of conception,” or POC room, in which she says doctors keep the fetus parts from an abortion and must reassemble the baby parts to make sure “nothing is left in the patient.” She says there are usually 30 to 40 petri dishes of these fetus remains by the end of the day.

What the filmmakers say: Johnson says that abortion clinics must have a POC procedure. “The clinic staff needs to make sure that no parts of the fetus are left inside the woman because that can cause serious infection and other complications.”

Fact check: While she agreed that biological matter from abortions are referred to as “products of conception,” Gunter, who has performed abortions at U.S.-based hospitals, said this depiction wasn’t entirely accurate.

She said medical staff would examine the tissue to ensure it looked like “placental type tissue,” but it would never be done in another room — it would only be completed while the procedure was taking place. She said that the same would be done in any form of surgery to ensure that everything that needed to be removed from the patient was removed.

The movie: In a scene when Abby becomes a clinic director, she says “Part of my job was selling abortion and I was really good at it.” At an annual meeting, a Planned Parenthood manager says that “Each of your clinics are being assigned growth targets to double the number of elective procedures.” Later, the manager says “abortion pays your salary, it pays for everything.”

What the filmmakers say: Johnson refers to the story of Sue Thayer, a former Planned Parenthood staff member, who maintains there are quotas.

Fact check: “I would be surprised that anybody ever said we need to get abortion numbers up,” said Gunter.

The film depicts a U.S.-based Planned Parenthood clinic, so while abortion clinics may have different financial structures, experts say that the core principles would be the same.

“Aspiration abortions or medication abortions are part of out health care system — it’s not profitable in Canada. It’s something that we, as a tax base, invest in,” says Michelle Fortin, executive director of Options for Sexual Health.

She also said abortion is not profitable in the United States either.

Planned Parenthood in the U.S. is a non-profit organization. According to its 2017-2018 annual report 72 per cent of its operating budget comes from private donations, government health services reimbursements and grants.

The organization provides sex education and sexual and reproductive health care at clinics and lobbies governments for increased access to health care. Clinics also provide STI testing, birth control, cancer screening, abortions and more.

Cherise Seucharan is a Vancouver-based reporter covering crime and public safety. Follow her on Twitter: @CSeucharan

Tessa Vikander is a Vancouver-based reporter covering diversity, inequality and education. Follow her on Twitter: @tessavikander

[sargecasey-blog]

My abuse story

when I was born my parents did not want me and I was born blind. So I went to live with my grandparents. Well living with my grandparents I had a lot that made me happy, I had a lot of friends and things to do at home that made me happy but after 1st grade my parents took me to go live with them which highly effected me. Even when they took me to go live with them I remember kicking and screaming as we went down the driveway. The time I lived with my parents I went through physical abuse which I ended up almost failing 2 grades. I remember waking up to belts coming at me by my dad and I remember my dad punching my mom. luckily one day a teacher found bruises all over my body which I got taken from my parents and went to live with my grandparents again. My parents were punished and everything through child support. Though I'm not sure they were punished enough. Even though I was born blind I had a also had a surgery 3 days after I was born to barely open my eyes. The only affect this had was affecting my learning because it was hard to see. As i got older I did have surgeries to open my eyes more. Well when I went back to go live with my grandparents I started doing well again and made a lot of new friends in elementary which took a bit for me to become happy again. Well fast forward to the end of middle school my grandfather got into a lot of drama with my sister and mother that changed him in my opinion not sure if that's what changed him or not. Well he started emotionally abusing me, my sister and my grandmother through high school and after. I graduated high school in 2011 so the emotional abuse mainly happened from 2007 to 2011 but I still get emotionally abused after high school which was much worse. What my grandfather did was he would yell at somebody like every other day for something they did or how they did something. Every time I felt happy I would get yelled at like it was wrong to be happy. My grandfather did not like me having friends and would always tell me they would not be friends with me after high school. When we would eat there was always a problem with how we eat or the way we eat. We would always be going out to eat or getting fattening food kind of feels like there was a reason for that I don't know. Lastly the only time we were allowed to be happy was either when we were doing what my grandfather wanted or when we where going somewhere. What I ended up doing to get through all of this is I would stay in my room and try to avoid the abuse as much as possible. I ate once a day for 2 to 3 years to avoid drama. I was scared to brush my teeth because the bathroom was right where my grandfather was always at and I noticed every time I went in there he would say some negative comment. I would play games and meet new people online which help me avoid the abuse. I was terrified to leave because every time I did I would either get yelled at or treated like crap. My sister has highly been affected by the abuse as well. She tried committing suicide twice and she does a lot of drugs to avoid the pain. Also she made friends with other people that does drugs because she feel like they're the only type of people that understand her and what she is going through. She had kids and now they’re most likely going through what we went. I don’t live there anymore but her kids could be getting emotionally abused as well.  The affects of all of the abuse I've realized is going through high school I did not get to think about what I wanted to do in life, my brain did not develop normally, I have bad teeth that give me a lot of pain all the time, I have hypoglycemia, I believe I lost around $7,500 after being forced to go to college which I was not ready at all for and I went through depression for 3 years after moving in with my mom because I was not trying to avoid the abuse anymore or going through it anymore so I got to think about it and understand what I was going through. In 2019 I contacted domestic violence hotline. Which lead me to reporting all this info to end up being told that there is nothing I can do about it because it's not happening to me right now. I also tried going to a homeless shelter to try to get away from my toxic family or toxic environment. The one I ended up getting sent to has a very bad ratting. It has a lot of reviews that there's something shady going on there which I felt while I was there. There was people selling drugs there. It was very hard to sleep because people would be talking on their phones at night I have a huge issue with this because I know sleep is important for remembering and learning new stuff. So it felt like I was getting manipulated. Also the people in charge seem to always be yelling at people so it did not seem like they were trying to help anybody that was there. I ended up contacting my mother and went back to live with her. Well when I went to go back to live with my mother I talked to her about most of this and talked to my uncle about most of it as well. They told me that my grandparents abused them as well. I think they told me that they were made to work really hard on a farm and they would get beaten with a stick on the side of the road. Also they went through some of the same things I went through. I learned/realized that my grandparents did not really have any friends visiting them as if they pushed them all away growing up. I also know my great grandparents on my grandmothers side did not like my grandfather very much. I recently learned that my grandparents own my bank account. I had no idea what a joint owner meant. It's possible they took money from me but I’m not sure. I had $10,000 before I went to college. I paid for some of the college even though I had some financial aid and I had a crash while I was in college that i had to pay for. I also bought a computer and games. Not sure if all that ended up being worth $10,000 or not. It's strange that they've not told me that they basically own my bank account and I don't think my mother knows as well. I don't know why this is such a big secret which is what I want to find out next.

Update 2021: Over the past 2 years my mother got married, went on vacations that did not include me, renovated the house, had pool parties and just doing everything for her benefits. It has made me feel like my life doesn’t matter and I’ve realized I never been supported by my family in what I wanted to do in life it’s all been about what they wanted me to do. My mother just recently said I have to start paying her to live with her or I have to move out. I’ve been trying to make money getting into blockchain games but it’s so hard to make money when I need to recover from everything I’ve been through. 

New update 2021: She did not end up kicking me out but she keeps telling me I owe her money. I noticed joey who she got married to got scammed for like 3,000 dollars and she seemed to care that it happened and has seemed happy about it strangely. Also I made money on an app that I could cashout for a giftcard which I wanted to try to order from burger king to see what that was like but when I told my mother she did not seem happy that I made money. Once again I feel like I’m not allowed to make money because my family wants to be in control of my life. Idk what’s gonna happen to me but it’s not gonna be good. I wish I had it in me to kill myself at this point I’m so tired of going through torture/this messed up life.   

[thedragonwarscreator]

The Dragon Wars: Final Redemption

Chapter 1

“Hurry Sixteen! He’ll be here any minute!”

“Are you certain you know what you’re doing, 21?”

“Yes, of course I do!” 21 had just spent the last 30 minutes preparing her lab to act as a makeshift hospital. She had been monitoring the fight between Alex and Wolfaunse and had a good idea on the medical equipment she would need to revive the wounded former saiyan emperor.

Seeing a white light form around the table, the wounded fallen emperor appeared. Immediately she had 16 carefully place his body on an operating table across from the teleporter. She then proceeded to remove his armor so she could could get a better look at his wounds.

“By Kami, he’s really hurt.”

Just by checking he had multiple lacerations on both arms, legs ,and on his right side of his face. Doing an X-ray she noted half of the bones in his body were shattered. The injury that concerned her the most however, was the diagonal slash going from his left chest to his lower abdomen. Though the lightsaber cauterized it, she saw in the picture he was having internal bleeding.

Pressing a button on the table she summoned a droid that would assist her in putting him under general anesthesia.

Holding Alex’s hand she squeezed it. “Don’t you worry, I’m not going let you die.”

For the next several hours she began removing dead tissue and applying skin graphs on the lightsaber affected areas of the body.For his bones she used experimental surgical tools that would piece the bones back together. Finally after nearly 18 hours of surgery she had stopped the internal bleeding and the lightsaber wounds would heal though he’d have permanent scaring on his body. For the bone part of the surgery she put him In a full body cast that would limit his movement.

After the surgery she wheeled him into a room that had been remade to act as an ICU. Sitting in a chair next to his bed she began to rest. Though she had been trained in preforming surgery doing the actual thing was significantly harder. Hearing a knock on the door she turned to look. “Come in.” Walking in the room Sixteen handed her the tea she asked him regularly to brew. She knew by the look on his face he didn’t like the idea of hosting their lab as hospital for a well known galactic tyrant and murderer.

“You don’t have to say anything. I know you disapprove of me bringing him here.”

“I’m worried that you are deluded onto who you think Alex O’Donnell really is.”

Ever since his reactivation Sixteen had noticed that his mother had becoming increasingly more obsessed with the former Jedi. She would spend hours, if not days looking through the Imperial Planetary Surveillance System and watching everything Alex O’Donnell did day to day.

“You are aware he lead the Sacking of Earth, right? He cut off Gohan’s left arm at Central City as he was defending it from the Sith onslaught.”He said in irritated tone.

She sighed. It was certainly true he had done terrible things that are were unforgivable, but hadn’t the members of earth’s defenders done things similar things in the past as well? Vegeta had blown up his fair share of planets, and Piccolo nearly wiped out humanity as well. Why couldn’t he turn a new leaf if they could?

“He can be redeemed, Sixteen.”

Putting her tea down she continued,

“The Clone Wars broke him. He lost his master who was a father figure to him, He was forced to kill his best friend, had to endure extreme psychological torture at the hands of Darth Sidious, and unintentionally killed over five hundred thousand civilians on Coruscant in his Golden Oozaru form trying to stop Sidious in his Darkside Colossus from devouring all life on the planet which the Senate blamed him entirely for.”

Folding his arms he began to contemplate. He remembered his first meeting with Alex O’Donnell. It was on the ruins of Gero’s lab on a highway where he watched Vegeta unsuccessfully try to best 18 in his newly gained Super Saiyan transformation. Right as 18 was about to land the final blow that would end it all, a mysterious cloaked figure intervened and pulled Vegeta to him. He began to say,

“I’m Alex O’Donnell, a Knight of the Jedi Order. Surrender and you will not be harmed.”

The Saiyan Jedi turned to 16 and waved a hand motion. Everything went black.

He was told after turning back on what had happened. 18 and 17 recounted he powered up into a Super Saiyan transformation not unlike Vegeta’s. However, upon doing so the entire earth shook and the skies turned black with lightning sounding in them.

Before the two of them could react, he charged at them with lighting speed. He knocked 18 out with a kick to the gut. Angered, 17 launched a barrage of punches and kicks with each and everyone of them being evaded. As a last ditch effort 17 tried to kill him with a full power Photon Flash, however Alex caught it in his off hand and it dissipated.

Taking the advantage the Jedi slashed 17 with his lightsaber on both his legs making it so he could no longer fight. Right as 17 thought he was going to die the Jedi turned off his lightsaber.

Kneeling down Alex became surrounded by a yellow aura and his eyes glowed gold. Suddenly both of them became surrounded by force energy which healed their wounds completely. When they both got up they were extremely confused onto what had just happened. When they asked why he healed them he said,

“I was misinformed. I wrongly presumed you were the evil that the future boy for told. You three are not evil, you just need to find a better path to walk down.”

Approaching the Earth’s Defenders they looked at him in shock and disgust. Asking why had he had not slain them he simply said,

“It is not the Jedi way. A Jedi does not kill unless forced. Those three are not evil as you perceive. I beseech you to not continue your attack.”

However, they charged at them and one by one they were defeated. Only Krillin managed to not get injured. He flew down and asked the small fighter for the senzu beans so he could revive them. As he was going to resuscitate the fallen warriors of earth, he saw the former monk plead with the Cyborgs not to continue their hunt for the sick Goku.

The female cyborg walked over to the visibly frightened ex-monk and pecked him on the cheek saying, “Good luck.”

Returning from his thoughts he turned to 21.

“Very well, he gets one opportunity at redemption. However, there needs to be safety procedures. We should enable the Ki and Force dampeners so he if by the chance he decides to attack us, he’ll not have to access to his arsenal. I’m putting my faith in you. If you think you can reach out to him and bring him back to the light, I don’t think there is any other person alive other than you who can do it”.

She sat up from her chair and gave Sixteen a hug.

“Thank you for having faith in me, it means a lot.”

Having her son’s support meant the world to her. Turning her gaze to her patient she had a small smile emerge. For so long he had suffered through unimaginable circumstances and now he had the chance to actually heal and for once be free.

Before leaving the room she instructed the medical droid overseeing his recovery to inform her when he finally gained consciousness. It would be a long road to recovery but, she knew she could reach him and restore him to the man he once was.

…

A/N: Hurray, chapter 2 is out now. I’m hoping I can consistently update this story as I’m liking the direction it’s going thus far. Reviews are appreciated no matter how harsh.

[9hiddenshallows]

“If there has been love, which there was, and is, it, he, can never die.”

30.10.19

BEWARE! SPOILERS UNDER THE CUT!

I admit it. Reading the last four chapters of the book was a really bad idea of mine. But I wanted to finish the book before the audio was released. Mission accomplished… success unlocked. It cost me lots of Kleenex. We have been plunged into Chris’ different stages of live – his childhood, the beginning of his career, his struggles, his battles – and now we are back to the heart of the matter: Ronnie Eccleston and the beginning of his sad end. The dementia. The Ecclestons were told about the disease after a serious car accident Ronnie had in the 2000s. It was a bad unexpected news for the family who couldn’t understand where this might have come from at first. The realisation that it could be hereditary came later. Chris has done a lot of researches about the disease to be able to work around it and understand the current condition of his father and how it was gonna evolve in the next years. It was really heartbreaking for him. Even more to realise that the signs had been there for a while but no one had been able to interpret them at the moment. Of course this diagnosis was life-changing for everyone and Chris tells us how much it has used this experience, this anger toward the disease that was taking away his father in the movie Flesh and Blood (2002). This movie is all about a young man looking for his biological parents and finding out they are deeply disabled and so, it makes it impossible for them to create a real bond with a son they didn’t even know. This incredible man who shaped Christopher as we know him, who has taught him how to live, was now showing him how to die. This was a hard reality for Chris. And he remembered one particular day that has broken his heart to pieces. He was doing crosswords in a cottage in Cornwall that he had rented for the holidays season and Ronnie couldn’t believe he was his son. This led to a terrible state of confusion and anger for Ronnie, and great guilt for Chris. After that, he has had to pretend that he was just a friend of the family. Another scene of this sort happened on Christmas Day and Chris was forced to leave the house to avoid another fit from his father who was considering him as a kind of threat. Elsie was having the hardest part of them all. She was Ronnie’s wife but also his carer. For over a decade, she took care of him the best she could with the little means and knowledge she had on how to handle a person with dementia. No family is prepared when such a disease strikes. All you can do is spend lots of time with your loved one and create memories before it’s too late. Chapter 22 holds a touch of bitterness and cuteness that makes your heart melt. It’s very short and tells how the Ecclestons’ boys have convinced their mother that it would be for the best if their father was in a home. She had been taking of him on her own for over ten years and it was too much for her emotionally and physically. Putting her Ronnie in a home was the hardest day of her life though because they weren’t taking care of him like the dedicated wife she was had been taking care of him. Heart breaking. Despite the disease, despite Ronnie not remembering her, their love survived. My heart can’t handle such a deep and faithful love. Add to that tender gut-wrenching moment that Ronnie got to meet baby Albert before his end. Right in the feelings. Chapter 23. The end. No need to be a soothsayer to understand what this is all about. The last hopes of the Eccleston’s family and the downfall that followed. Ronnie Eccleston died of a pneumonia after going through surgery for a broken hip. Alan was the one who broke the news to Chris, and Chris told their mother. There is a reflection on religion in chapter. Chris has openly admitted that he was an atheist. He doesn’t believe in God and that was why he was so hesitant to go and see his father in the coffin. Ronnie was an atheist too but in his time, you just couldn’t openly admit something this big. There also another idea implying that Chris places his faith in nature, which is more concrete than the idea of an immaterial God. The anecdote about the black bird finally flying away being Ronnie was as sad as beautiful and poetic. And yet, if Ronnie was dead, if he wasn’t there physically anymore, the memories of him still were; the love he gave his family was still there, living through all of them. The title of the twenty-fourth and last chapter of I Love The Bones Of You is a quote from Macbeth when Macbeth tries to catch the dagger he sees before him and realises it is just a product from his imagination. The choice of this quote hasn’t been done randomly. I have thee not: ‘my father is dead, he’s not physically by my side anymore’; And yet I see thee still: ‘but he hasn’t abandoned our family or myself.’ Christopher Eccleston is Christopher Eccleston because Ronnie has shaped him into the man he has become. A part of Ronnie will live on with his kids. There is this quote from a TV show I’ve watched recently that says: children are their parents’ immortality. That’s a part of you that survives you and transmits your values, your principles, your habits so you won’t be forgotten. This chapter is a recap, a sort of introspection on everything that Chris has gone through and how he arrived where he is today. He might not be at his best but he has become more optimistic: he is better than he had been a couple years ago. He has come back from hell and back and his life is much better now. He is in a better place, more in peace with himself. Just one last thing: finishing the book on the eulogy he wrote for his father’s funeral was cruel for the reader but also the most beautiful and perfect way to end this homage to the wonderful person Ronald Eccleston was, to the legacy he has left to the world, to the lessons he has taught his sons who is now transmitting it to his own children. To conclude this long review, I would say that I Love The Bones Of You isn’t the book of the year. It probably won’t win a Pulitzer, won’t be considered as classical literature. It’s not beautifully written, it’s not perfect. And yet, it is worth reading. These memoirs are an amazing homage to a deceased man who has been a model and an example not to follow for a man trying to find his way in this world. I Love The Bones Of You is a honest, upsetting, moving record of Christopher Eccleston’s life, of his personal battles, of his past, present and future goals. I only have one thing to say to finish this review: kudos on you, sir, and thank you. You have all of my support today and for the many years to come.

[afabdisasterq]

Awkward Reunions

Who: Quinn Fabray & Rachel Berry

When: 7/6 Night

Where: A Bar in Bushwhick ; Quinn & Duke’s Apartment

What: Quinn and Rachel meet in a bar and end up back at Quinn’s place trying to catch up

Warnings: Alcohol Abuse, Miscarriage/Child Loss, Implied Past Abuse and Sexual Assault, PTSD-esque flashbacks. Quinn is fucked up babes and it shows.

If Quinn Fabray was good at anything, she was good at ignoring her own problems and cutting everyone else out in the process. That's how she ended up drunk, in a bar, in New York City a year after her last contact with anyone she'd once considered her friends. Blonde hair was dyed pink, dresses were traded for leather, and a nose ring once again adorned her face. The miscarriage that occurred only a few short weeks after Puck had dumped her on her ass, had been the start. She'd just spiraled out, unable, or perhaps unwilling, to come to terms with the fact she'd lost yet another child. Sure, Beth was still living but she wasn't hers.

As she played a game of pool with some guy twice her size who was also buying her drinks, Quinn caught sight of a pair of legs she'd honestly know anywhere, even when drunk. "Rachel Berry?" She voiced as she took her shot, cursing silently as she missed the shot. The man snickered and Quinn flipped him off.

She had picked this bar in particular because it was out of the way enough that she wouldn’t be recognized but the reviews didn’t deem the place “creepy crawly infested.

Right now her life felt as if it had fallen apart. The diagnosis of nodules on her vocal chords had only been the start. The surgery leaving her unable to sing as well as she once had crushed her but  she had always dreamed of a family. Jesse was unwilling to risk taking time away from his career and she too was unwilling to risk her career so it had never been much of an option for them- but there was no longer a career to risk since she no longer had one.

But it was the night she brought this new dream up to him he admitted that he was never meant to be a family man. 

The announcement of their divorce coming shortly after.

And maybe it was for the better, if he couldn’t give her what she wanted, but she missed him and had just never been one good at being alone. She didn’t expect to be recognized but unable to turn away a fan, Rachel turns in the direction of the pool tables where her name had been called from.

“Quinn?” Her eyes widen at the sight of her. “What happened to you? I mean...where did you go?”

Quinn grabbed the cigarette resting on the nearby ashtray and took a drag of it, blowing it up at ceiling as Rachel turned to her. She chuckled, dark and fake. "Obviously I fucking ended up here. As for what happened, what does it matter?" The guy she'd been playing pool with motioned towards the near empty glass she had sitting next to the ashtray and she nodded, downing what was left and handing it over to him. He walked off, leaving Quinn leaning against the pool table, eyeing Rachel. "Better question, what are you, doing in a place like this?"

“Why are you playing nonchalant with me? Why are you smoking that?” Her hers click against the floor and she easily stands on her toes to swipe the thing out of her mouth. “Why is your hair pink again?”

Quinn rolled her eyes, glaring at her slightly as the cigarette is swiped out of her  mouth. "Because I can? Because why the fuck not?" She pulls her pack of cigarettes and a zippo from her back pocket. "And if you touch this one I'll fucking knock you on your pretty little ass." She growls as she pulls another cigarette from the pack and lights it, daring Rachel to try her.

Rachel’s eyes narrow as she watches her light the cigarette up. The man she’d been playing pool comes back with her drink and with a smirk the brunette takes the cigarette right from her mouth and puts it inside the new drink. “I’m not going to watch you ruin your voice!”

Quinn growled, lunging at Rachel at the action the brunette took, only to find the man holding her by the collar, both of her leather jacket and her shirt. "Fuckin let me go, Duke!" Quinn struggled but he just pulled her back instead, putting his drink in her hand. "My fuckin, voice, Berry? I don't fucking sing anymore. Don't have a fucking reason to." As she deflates, Duke lets her go and walks back to the bar with the drink containing the doused cigarette. She takes a drink from the glass she'd been handed, frowning slightly, at the taste before drinking more. "Can I light another cigarette or are you going to keep being an ass? Because if you're going to keep being an ass, you need to buy me like five shots."

Rachel shakes her head. “What a waste of perfectly good talent.” Rachel huffs, this time just grabbing the whole pack from her jacket pocket and sticking them in her purse. “I was clearly meant to come here for a reason. This was it. Next time you decide going AWOL, remember who your friends are.” Rachel does go to the bar to get a drink like she’d originally intended but instead heads for the exit.

Quinn growls as Rachel takes the pack of cigarettes and if she hadn't felt Duke come up behind her again she might have lunged again. Instead she just swapped glasses with him, rolling her eyes as she watches Rachel go. It's interesting, the way Rachel then turns from the bar and towards the exit. 

"Are you just going to let her go like that?" Duke asks, handing Quinn a cigarette.

"Why not?" Quinn asks, slipping the cigarette between her lips and lighting it.

"She gives a damn, Q. That's why not." He nudges her and she rolls her eyes. Snuffing out the cigarette and stuffing it in her pocket, she downs 90% of the drink and the rushed after Rachel.

"Rachel, wait!" She can't believe she's doing this. God, of course it had to be Rachel she'd come across

Rachel really didn’t think she’d follow. She wasn’t even rehearsing the scenarios that could occur if the pink haired woman did.

So she’s completely frozen when she hears her name called for the second time that night. “I’m not giving them back.” Rachel tosses the pack on the ground and grinds it down against the cement with her heel. The anger new for sure.

Quinn pinches the bridge of her nose as she watches Rachel crush the pack underfoot. "Wasn't going to ask. But if you're going to be a bitch, maybe I was wrong." Sure, she had no room to talk, but she was angry drunk and these days she was almost always drunk. Which meant she was almost always angry.

“Are you going to tell me what happened Quinn is are you going to try and pretend like this isn’t insane and so very expected of you?”

"I got fucked over. That's all you need to know." Quinn huffs, stuffing  her hands into the pocket of her leather jacket. "You know what it's like to get kicked while you're down, repeatedly? What it feels like to realize everything you thought you knew is a lie and when you think you can't lose more, you do? Cos that's what happened. Ask Fuckerman, if you want to know what happened." Her words are bitter and pained, having to close her eyes against memories she didn't want to remember.

“I don’t want to hear it from Noah!” Rachel doesn’t comment on the rest, feeling it hitting too close to home. “I’ve been worried sick about you. I called and called and eventually someone answered and it wasn’t you!”

Quinn scoffed. "Well you're not fucking hearing it from me." She sighs, running a hand through her hair, tugging at the ends. "What do you want? An apology? I did what I had to, what I needed to, or something." Quinn knew she'd just done what was easiest. Cut everyone out and ran. It meant she didn't have to explain it. Didn't have to admit to what had been done to her.

“I just want to. I need to hear you’re okay but it doesn’t matter. I know you’re not and you’re not going to let me in. This is what happens every single time. For Barbra’s sake!” She stomps her foot. “I’m happy to know you’re alive but I’m not going to watch you do this. I can’t. What is so good about numbing the pain? It doesn’t change the reality!”

Quinn scoffs, shaking her head. "What's so great about it? You get numb enough and you forget. You can sleep and not wake up to the sound of your own screaming. Sure, you wake up with a killer fucking hangover, but if that's the price I'm paying for peace? I'll pay it." Sure, she knows it's temporary, knows she's just delaying the worst of it, but she doesn't know any other way and isn't sure she wants to.

“That’s how problems start.” She whispers, despite the nagging feeling telling her Quinn may be onto something. No amount of yoga or retreats had helped her feel any better about her reality and she had been going to the bar with intentions to do just as Quinn was doing. Drowning it all out.

"Who cares? What's one more problem on top of the rest?" Quinn had been self medicating because it was the only thing that made the hollow feeling in her chest go away. That stopped her from remembering all the times Puck had forced himself on her, coerced her, got her drunk enough that she couldn't say no, got her drunker when she said no anyway. That reminded her of everything she'd lost because of him.

“I care.” Rachel shakes her head, unable to understand how that wasn’t apparent. Had yet to click in the woman’s brain. Even in high school despite their different she’d always tried hard to show the girl support.

"I'd say you're the only one, but then Duke cares and that'd be unfair to him. But honestly, fuck one more problem. It's certainly not the worst of them." Quinn sighs. "You wanna get outta here? Duke and I just refilled out liquor cabinet the other day and we don't live far." She didn't want to be having this conversation but she sure as fuck didn't want to be having it in the middle of a bar.

Rachel feels stuck. She shouldn’t go. It sounds like a bad idea, especially with all the feelings even water couldn’t drown out. But didn’t that prove she didn’t care. “Sure. Okay. Do you have tequila?”

"We do, and it's good tequila, not that fuck you to hell and back with a chainsaw shit." Quinn led the way out of the bar, wishing she could light the cigarette in her pocket, but knowing where it would end up if she even tried. Her phone vibrates in her pocket and she smiles gently at it, but does not respond. "I feel like I'm lucky sometimes, that Duke puts up with my shit. He doesn't have to, no one does. I don't want anyone to, but he does anyway." Quinn looks up as she walks, head angled in just the right way she can watch the skyline change overhead while also mostly watching where she's going.

“Isn’t all tequila just that when you drink enough of it?” Rachel just follows her, unsure how she’d ended up here. When it’s the last thing she expected of her evening. “I’m sure you put up with plenty of his.” Rachel says softly, happy the girl had someone taking care of her, even if it isn’t her. “How far do you live, exactly?”

"Yeah, but the good shit let's you drink far more before you hit that point." Quinn points out with the knowledge and confidence of the alcoholic she basically was. She can't help but chuckle. "Sure, if by his shit you mean his thing for cuddling and having a different boy toy every week. He has to deal with me when I actually sober up. That is a mess no one deserves to see." She sighs, far too aware that Duke put up with far more than he needed to, than he should. "Not far. We walk to and from the bar." As they came up to a crosswalk, Quinn hit the button to cross, pointing to an apartment building about halfway down the street. "There, to be exact."

Rachel’s mouth opens to speak but she stops herself. “Cuddling shouldn’t be taken for granted. You should be thankful. Everyone needs innocent and comforting affection from time to time.” Rachel looks at the building being pointed at and when the cross walk blinks for them to walk Rachel leads the way.

Quinn rolls her eyes. "From time to time, yes. Anytime we're home together with nothing to do, however, is a little much." Not that Quinn actually minded it. Duke was good to her, knew when and where he could hold her. He was one of the only people she trusted anymore and certainly the only man. Quinn follows Rachel, pulling her keys off her belt loop.

Once they reached the building, Quinn unlocked the lobby door and held it open for Rachel before slipping in herself and heading over to the elevator. "We're a ways up and thankfully we live in a building with a functional elevator." She said as the elevator doors slid open and she entered, hitting the button for the twelfth floor, quickly settling into the back corner of the elevator."

“A functional elevated is certainly a perk.” Rachel steps on and just looks around absent minded. She had so many questions, but she manages to only ask one. “You’ve lived here since you left?”

Quinn rests her head back into the corner of the elevator, eyes closed. At the question, she shrugs. "Not quite, no." The first month and a half of her disappearance had been before the miscarriage and she'd stayed where she had been. It had been the miscarriage that had sent her off the rails and right into Duke's arms. Her arms wrapped protectively around her middle at the thoughts that started to seep through the booze induced fog she lived in.

When the elevator came to a stop on the twelfth floor, Quinn pushed off the wall and quickly headed down the hallway to her apartment door. She needs a shot of something before the memories return to the forefront of her mind. Her fingers have minor difficulty unlocking the door but as soon as the door is open she's flipping on the lights and rushing over to the liquor cabinet. Which was more like a bar than anything.  Grabbing the bottle of Jack, she takes a couple swigs, straight from the bottle.

“Oh, okay.” Rachel closes her own eyes, her thumbs going up to rub at her temples. “I’ll stop asking questions.” She promises, thankful when the elevator door opens.

She tries to quiet her heels as they make their way to Quinn’s apartment. It smells like booze and her nose scrunches slightly as she watches Quinn just take a drink from a bottle, like it’s water.

“Are you okay? Where are your glasses?”

Quinn spins the cap back onto the bottle, setting it down as she takes a few deep breathes. "I'm drunk, so I'm better than I could be." There's a sincerity in her voice as she moves around the apartment, hanging her leather jacket up in the closet, tossing her wallet and keys into the small table by the door, and then pulling off her combat boots. "Glasses are in the kitchen, where they belong. Though we usually drink our booze out of mugs, mostly because a have a collection and a half of the damn things. Shot glasses are on the wall in the kitchen as we also have a collection of those. Help yourself to whatever you want, but avoid any bottle with a ribbon around the neck, it means I drink straight from it." Quinn needed into something more comfortable, something baggy that she could disappear into. So, she left Rachel to, presumably help herself, and headed into her bedroom to get changed.

Rachel takes in all the information and is a bit shocked that she's left to do her own searching. She spots the bottles with ribbon and isn't sure how to take it. But she grabs a basic black mug from the cupboard and finds the bottle of tequila that doesn't have a ribbon on it. She pours some into the mug and takes a long sip, before filling it back up. She finds her way back into the living room and she takes a seat on the couch waiting for Quinn and taking in her surroundings.

Quinn eventually returns from her bedroom, wearing an over-sized Yale sweatshirt, a pair of glasses perched on her nose. It's older and stretched out enough that the sleeves cover her hands completely and it comes down almost to her knees. She heads into the kitchen, grabbing her old Yale mug and fixing herself a screwdriver with significantly more vodka than orange juice before joining Rachel on the couch. "Sorry, needed a change of clothes."

“Oh. It’s okay. This is your home, you do what you need to. If I’m intruding or anything I can leave after my drink.” Part of her feels nervous this Duke character would be joining them. She doesn’t know him and who knows if he’s going to like her.

"You're fine, Rachel. I wouldn't have invited you if you were." She pulls her knees up onto the couch and tucks them into her sweatshirt. "So, how has life been since we spoke last?" Quinn had no idea what any of her old friends had been up to in the year since she'd disappeared. Tended to avoid news and gossip magazines, staying her in booze fueled fog as best as possible.

“Oh.” She knows she shouldn’t be surprised by the question, but she is anyways. Instead of answering she brings the mug to her lips so that she can take a long drink. “Jesse and I are divorced and I’m not currently in any productions.” Rachel doesn’t explain that there would be no more in her future.

Quinn just nods as Rachel talks, sipping on her drink. "Never liked him." She mutters as Rachel mentions she's gotten divorced. "Sorry to hear that,  but... yeah, never liked him." Shrugging she wasn't sure what she was supposed to say or do next. The fact Rachel wasn't in anything right now, in a way, made sense. Divorce was a messy process, she could remember her parents going through it, she couldn't imagine balancing being on stage multiple times a day, six days a week, with one would be easy to do.

“I still love him. He just can’t give me what I want anymore.” Rachel shrugs. She didn’t think she could watch him continue to be successful while she’s forced to stop. “So is this what you do? Make small talk and drink?”

"Fair enough. I guess." Quinn drinks from her mug, watching Rachel quietly. "What else does a bartender do? I mean, I don't have people really, outside of Duke and some of the people from his work. Just about everyone I'm 'friends' with are closer to Duke, so..." She uses air quotes around the word friends with a shrug. In a lot of ways she lived a quiet life.

“I’m your friend.” Rachel reminds her. “A friend with a lot of time on her hands.” She adds. “At least I’ve still considered us that.”

Quinn looks down into her mug for a while. "I mean, I"m sure Duke would appreciate me getting out more. And yeah, we're kind of friends, huh?" Quinn doesn't know why she felt the need to say it the way she did, other than it was something Rachel had once said to her, back before she'd gotten stupid. Back before she let herself get re-involved with Noah Puckerman.

“We are.” Rachel nods, following the woman’s lead and looking down into her drink. “So Duke is a good guy then? I mean, he takes care of you, and he stopped you from fighting me.”

"He does that a lot. Keeps me from fighting people... " Quinn grimaced a bit, taking a long drink from her mug. "But, yeah, he's the only man I trust. And probably the only person, at current, I trust with my life."

Is there hope Quinn can trust her at some point? She smiles a little at the thought. “I’m glad you have him Quinn. Really.”

"I'm lucky I have him, honestly." Quinn sighed. "I spiraled right into his arms, oddly enough. Well, more accurately, I spiraled directly into his salon chair and somewhere between blonde and pink, he offered me the second bedroom." Quinn still wasn't sure how it'd happened. She had been so drunk and disastrous at the time that a lot of her early months in New York were a blur.

“Fate happens in mysterious ways. He does good work. The pink isn’t terrible.” Rachel isn’t sure it is Quinn, but who is Quinn really? “Can I tell Kurt and Blaine you’re alive? I haven’t shut up about you.”

"I suppose it does. He's brilliant. I was tired of the blonde and wasn't aiming to go back to brunette, cos that's really not me and I knew I could rock pink and it's just kind of stuck." She looks up at Rachel's question. "I- I don't know... Also, you haven't shut up about me? Should I be worried or flattered?"

“I understand.” Rachel promises. “I just missed you and wanted to know you were okay. I called you frequently hoping you would pick up. I’m just relieved to see you’re alive.”

Quinn eyes Rachel, surprised by that. Sure, they'd been close, sometimes texting more often than even Quinn and Santana did, but she didn't think she would warrant such a response. "I don't always feel it," she admits quietly, downing the rest of her mug. "Alive, that is."

“Maybe you haven’t found what makes you feel alive. What sets you on fire.” Rachel suggests with a sad smile. “Do you think you really would have fought me earlier? If you hadn’t been stopped?”

"I went to Yale for acting but... I don't have it in me. I have spent so long just... acting in my day-to-day life, I can't imagine doing it for real. But, I don't really have other talents or passions. Most days I'm not even really here." She sighs, disappointed in the empty mug in her hands but not feeling the urge to get up and refill it. "Unfortunately, yes."

"Maybe you not being here is preventing you from feeling that passion. Because anything you're feeling while under the influence isn't genuine." Rachel shrugs, unsure if her words were going to be taken well by the other woman. "Okay. That's good to know. I've still only ever been slapped by you."

Quinn rolls her eyes as Rachel speaks. "I stay like this because being numb is better than how I am when I'm sober. I'd rather be in a booze induced fog and be able to function. I fall apart when I'm sober and I stop functioning." She sighs. "In a restroom, of all places. But yeah, I'm a kinda violent person when I'm drunk, get that from Russell, I'm sure."

“You keep breaking down because you continue to force it back, Quinn.” Rachel doesn’t understand violence, doesn’t understand how drinking could be worth heightening that feeling of anger. “Did he ever hit you?”

"Yeah, well I don't like remembering what I'm forcing back, it fucking sucks. And there's a fuck ton of it. I spent three days crying before I got blackout drunk and have been drunk just about every moment since." She hadn't expected to admit and soon found herself getting up and going over to the liquor cabinet, pouring herself a mix of vodka and Chambord. And when she hears Rachel's question, she's thankful for it. "Not often. I knew how to avoid him. And I was his little girl, it was rare I was who he got angry with." She took a seat back on the couch, refusing to look at Rachel.

“I get it. I mean, not entirely. But this doesn’t feel like the Quinn I know.” She waves her arms between them. “You’re stronger than letting yourself drown and if you need help. I want to help you.” Rachel isn’t sure how relieved she should feel with the answer given.

Quinn scoffs, rolling her eyes. "A lot of shit happened to me, so yeah, I'm not the Quinn you knew. And no, I'm not. I can't fucking handle it, I can't. It'll just feel like losing all over again and I can't do that." Her arm wraps around her middle as she takes a long drink from her mug, once again pulling her legs up to her chest. The alcohol wasn't keeping the memories at bay, something about the way Rachel spoke, the way it made her respond. It was like the memories were using it to break free. Using her vaguely mentioning it to come forward. She didn't want this.

“I’m not trying to minimize your experiences Quinn. I don’t know all that’s happened to you. I just believe in you and I want you to be happy. This may be better than living reality but this isn’t your best life. We all have to start over sometimes. You. Even me.” Rachel can’t help but move closer to her. “I can leave if I’m crossing a line. I just, have been so worried, and sure you’re alive but you’re not okay.”

Quinn listens to Rachel talk, just drinking, trying to drown out the memories. "I don't know how. I don't know how I'm supposed to move past what happened. I don't even like remembering it happened. That any of it happened. You can't start over if you don't let go and I don't know how to let go." She doesn't know why she's saying it, but part of her feels like she should. That was always a thing with Rachel, she always got Quinn to talk about things she maybe didn't want to. Sometimes without even really prompting it.

“Healing takes time and you need to.” She pauses for a moment. “You have to acknowledge what it is you need. I think you just did that. And I think that you need to warm up to the idea of opening up in someway. That doesn’t mean to entertain the idea and jump right in. But you’ll feel better. Something that little will help.”

Quinn sighs, listening to Rachel talk. While she's entirely aware that Rachel has a point, she isn't sure it's something she can do. Even the idea of opening up about what happened made her feel gross and weak. Reminding her of all the ways she couldn't get away. All the times she'd said no  and was convinced otherwise. Of when she'd said no and was forced when she refused to be convinced. And like that she was lost to her own thoughts, breathing getting faster as she closed her eyes against the string of tears. "No, no, no. for fuck's sake I said no. Stop it. Stop it. No." She's muttered to herself, frantic, scared.

Rachel is quick to stand up and leave Quinn’s side on the couch. But she doesn’t leave, she kneels in front of her instead. “I’m stopping. Now isn’t the time for this. Let’s play a game.” Rachel smiles hoping she can lighten the mood. “Wanna take a body shot off me?”

Quinn doesn't register what Rachel's saying. She hears her, but she doesn't. The fingers around the handle of her mug have gone white from clutching it so tightly. She's lost in a memory, trapped somewhere in the confines of her own mind. "No. God, Noah, stop. Please." She's crying and shaking, rocking slightly.

Rachel doesn’t question anything instead she sits closer, but not too close. “Can I hold you, Quinn? How can I get you off this?”

The sound of her name registers with Quinn and she blinks a few times. "What?" Then she feels the ache in her hand and sets the mug down, flexing her fingers, trying to ease the pain in her hand. "Sorry. That's not... I usually have to be sober."

“Okay.” Rachel nods her head. “I’m really glad to have run into you. You feel like a breath of fresh air.”

"I don't feel like that." She sighs. "I mean, I don't feel like I could be that." She picks up her mug again, taking a long drink from it before setting it back down. "I mean, how could I? I'm a fucking mess."

“But I’ve missed you.”

"I've missed you too,  I just don't know how my chaos can possibly be considered refreshing. "

“You we a human being back in my life is refreshing.”

"Okay..." she sighs, head resting on her knees. "I'm sorry about what happened, what you might have heard. It's rare when I'm drunk. It's part of why I drink."

“Don’t apologize to me. I’m safe, okay?”

Quinn sighs. "I just hate it. The minute I let my guard down, the minute the fog lifts even just a little I'm fucked."

“I’ve been talking in circles, but you need to let it out. Have you tried yoga healing retreats?”

Quinn scoffs. "Do I look like someone who would go on one? Much less who can afford one?" She sighs. "Pretty sure they'd recommend fucking therapy before such a thing, but can't afford that either."

“Have you tried?”

"Therapy takes money. Money I don't have. And yeah, I've looked."

“But insurance. Surely you have that?”

"Even with insurance, which is also fucking expensive, I can't afford it." She sighs. "Drinking is cheaper and not just because Duke buys my drinks when we're out."

“But it’s not working.” Rachel sighs. She didn’t know how to help her and it felt frustrating

"It works better than anything else. It works better than not."

“Fine.” She nods

"Look, I know I'm fucked up and I'm sure that's the last thing you wanted to find out about me, but it's how it is and I'm not sure what to tell you. Other than, it could be worse."

“I just think you don’t want to help yourself in a way that will be constant.”

"And maybe that's true, but it's also a fact of life that most of the ways one could do that are fucking expensive."

“I don’t want to upset you, okay? It isn’t fun for me. I just don’t know what to do

"There's nothing you can do, Rachel. There's nothing anyone can do."

“I’ll keep quiet about it”

"Okay."

[we-weighlosssurgeyinmexico-blog]

Weight Loss Surgery Cost - Search Weight Loss Surgery Cost

Bariatric medical procedure alludes to an assortment of therapeutic methods, including gastric detour, sleeve gastrectomy, movable gastric band, and biliopancreatic preoccupation with duodenal switch. While performed in an unexpected way, these techniques help patients shed pounds by constraining how much nourishment the stomach can hold just as the patient's retention of supplements. Bariatric techniques may likewise influence hormones identified with craving, prompting decreased hunger and improved satiety in the wake of eating.

 Hosea settled on the gastric sleeve, a system that takes out roughly 80 percent of the stomach. At last, the organ looks like a cylinder like pocket, making it hard to indulge. This irreversible medical procedure may prompt long haul nourishing inadequacies, however Hosea felt alright with it on the grounds that the two loved ones had it managed effortlessly.

 In August 2017, Hosea weigh loss surgey in mexico  went from her home in Salt Lake City to the Mexico Bariatric Center in Tijuana for the gastric sleeve activity. In any case, she wasn't the only one; her dad, who additionally battled with his weight, chose to have the medical procedure also. Hosea brought up that she's Polynesian, an ethnic gathering that is defenseless against weight. Local Hawaiians and Pacific Islanders are multiple times bound to be fat than Asian Americans for the most part, and 20 percent bound to be stout than whites.

 "My father was prediabetic," Hosea said. "I was not, yet I abhorred how I felt. I couldn't go around after my children. It was truly unpleasant."

 Hosea didn't go to the Mexico Bariatric Center until the day preceding her medical procedure, however she and her dad had effectively consented to leave if either felt uneasy. Rather, she found the staff, the vast majority of whom talked some English, to mind and ameliorating, she said. She reviews the anesthesiologist requesting that her check in reverse from 20, and before she knew it, she was in the recuperation room arousing from the system.

 Hosea assesses that she spared $9,000 by having the activity in Tijuana rather than stateside. An American specialist gave her a statement of generally $14,000 for the method, while she paid only $5,000 for the sleeve gastrectomy in Mexico.

 "It was the best choice I at any point made," Hosea said. "I'll simply turned out straight and state I have no disgrace in what I did. I'm happy I did it. A few people are undercover about it. I�Following one's senses while in an outside nation for medicinal treatment can be lifesaving, as per Josef Woodman, the CEO of Patients Beyond Borders, which gives data to purchasers about universal human services travel. He supports patients considering traveling to another country for human services to altogether inquire about the medicinal office they intend to visit for treatment. He says Americans experiencing medical procedure abroad would be insightful to look for consideration in a multidisciplinary clinic or in a therapeutic focus that is near one, on the grounds that such offices are furnished with crisis rooms, concentrated consideration units, and irresistible infection groups.

 "On the off chance that something turns out badly with the patient, they have prompt access to mind," he said.

 The Joint Commission International attempts to improve wellbeing at medicinal services offices locally and universally. The main principles setting and authorizing body for therapeutic treatment in the US, the commission has surveyed in excess of 20,000 human services associations. Progressively, it has offered accreditation to worldwide therapeutic offices, institutionalizing social insurance crosswise over fringes. Accreditation guarantees offices are exceptional, doctors are board-affirmed, plans for follow-up consideration are set up, dangers of going after medical procedure are laid out, and that's only the tip of the iceberg.

 As indicated by the American Society for Metabolic and Bariatric Surgery, an ascent in medicinal the travel industry incited the US-based JCI to set up rules for worldwide offices. The general public keep going looked into its information on restorative the travel industry in 2015, noticing that the quantity of JCI-certify emergency clinics worldwide had expanded by right around 1,000 percent over a five-year time span. In excess of 250 offices in 36 nations presently have the accreditation, up from 27 emergency clinics in 2004.

 In light of medicinal the travel industry's rising prevalence, gatherings, for example, the International Society for Quality in Health Care and the International Organization for Standardization have additionally ventured up endeavors to execute rules for therapeutic offices all around.

 Woodman has voyage globally for therapeutic consideration himself and says that more Americans are doing as such on the grounds that protection inclusion in the US is inadequate. Patients who need bariatric medical procedure might be turned down in light of the fact that they're fat yet not exactly hefty enough. Furthermore, individuals who do meet all requirements for medicinal mediation might not have enough cash to pay for the expense of medical procedure, which as often as possible incorporates covered up or sudden charges.

 "With the majority of the copays, deductibles, gotchas — 'Better believe it, we don't cover the anesthesiologist' — you're paying significantly more than cited," he said. "You can be guaranteed yet underinsured, except if you have a Cadillac-level protection plan."

 An expected 28 percent of Americans, or 41 million, are underinsured. Sometimes, insurance agencies do cover weight reduction medical procedure yet a patient's manager has not bought the "rider" required for bariatric inclusion. Since run of the mill wellbeing plans do exclude these methods, managers need to explicitly pick in to such inclusion.

 The surprising expense of having medical procedure in the US, even with health care coverage, makes bariatric methodology in remote nations "exceptionally, extremely appealing" for individuals frantic to have them, Woodman said.

[truthbeetoldmedia]

Shameless 9x13 “Lost” Review

Next week, the ninth season of Shameless will come to a close, and Emmy Rossum who plays Fiona will make her final exit (as far as we know). The seasons to come must be carried on the backs of the remaining Gallaghers we’ve come to know and love. But what does the future look like for those whose lives will continue to play out offscreen?

In the second to last episode of the season and Fiona’s onscreen story, we begin to get a glimpse at what her life may become, and how she might get out of the Southside in a more positive way than her brother Ian, who may show up again next season as teased by Cameron Monaghan, who plays him.

After being given an ultimatum by Lip, Fiona seems to wake up having done a complete 180. After helping an injured Frank get to the hospital, she meets with a public defender who tells her if she gets a job and attends AA, a jury may believe she’s contributing to society and overlook her previous felony when deciding how to rule. This is, of course, in relation to her punching a woman while drunk a few episodes back. Fiona follows the woman’s instructions, attending a meeting and getting a job at a gas station doing the overnight shift.

Kevin and Veronica get into their own legal trouble when the daycare they’ve sent twin daughters Gemma and Amy to discovers that they aren’t the same person. The nuns give them two options: Either they can pay a hefty fee, or Kevin can play Jesus in an upcoming pageant. He’ll need to drag an extremely heavy cross the 150 feet from the school to the church, but Kev agrees, thinly avoiding being charged with fraud.

Meanwhile, Lip chases a closed-off Tammi around town after discovering she’s going to see a doctor without him. Lip wants to support her and his unborn child, especially after her father showed up at his house questioning his motives, but Tammi doesn’t want any help making decisions regarding her and the baby. Eventually, she confides in Lip that she got tested for the BRCA gene, which will determine if she’s at high risk for developing breast cancer and if so, whether or not having children will decrease her risk. This is essentially where the conversation ends, as Lip can’t get much more out of Tammi.

Across town, Frank undergoes surgery after stumbling out of Fiona’s old building just as demolition starts. The hospital staff attempts to figure out how they can get him out as quickly as possible, as Frank has a reputation for stealing pills and not paying any of his bills.

At work, Carl faces an armed robber and wins by using his pent up anger from Kelly dumping him and beating him with various objects on the counter. When he gets back to the house, the bad blood between him and Debbie continues as she hangs out with Kelly. The two girls bond while shopping for military gear, as Kelly is about to head back to school. Feeling closer than ever to her, Debbie attempts to kiss Kelly as they’re cuddling on the couch. Unfortunately, her feelings are not reciprocated and she’s left feeling sad and a bit naive when Kelly decides to leave.

Though Debbie is heartbroken, Carl manages to cheer her up, and the two bond over their hatred for the girl who hurt both of them. It’s a nice moment between siblings especially after the strain that’s been on their relationship lately. Carl also tells his sister that he didn’t get into Westpoint, to which she offers a simple but sincere “Sorry.”

And all the while, Liam is at his friend’s house playing video games, watching movies, and eating homemade biscuits. Though his siblings have been texting and calling him all day, Liam is bitter that it’s taken them two days to notice he’s gone (I don’t blame you, Liam). So, he doesn’t answer any of them and continues to live lavishly with his buddy — which definitely beats staying in the Gallagher house.

While Fiona is working her first shift, Max comes into the store. He tells Fiona that the building she invested $100,000 in actually is going to be turned into a nursing home at some point in the next year, and that he wants to buy out her share. Stunned, Fiona can’t do much except agree to figure out logistics in the morning. It looks like this might be her first and last shift at the gas station.

So, it looks like Fiona isn’t going to leave Shameless in a cop car or a body bag after all. Throughout her emotional decline, it’s seemed like the eldest Gallagher sibling might not be able to pull herself together. Her siblings weren’t helping her, her friends weren’t helping her, and she certainly wasn’t helping herself. Now, though, Fiona has a chance that the audience thought would be handed to Frank through the Hobo Loco games — a surplus of money. And with the family just not the same as it once was, I won’t be surprised if Fiona decides to abandon the home she’s spent most of her life building.

In this episode, Fiona and Lip did finally have a conversation about getting back up and trying again. This particular conversation is extremely satisfying, but again, seems long overdue. Having been through an alcohol addiction and the recovery process from that addiction, there’s no reason Lip couldn’t have encouraged his sister to get up and try again when she got fired from her job for being drunk all the time on the clock.

And, sidenote, how is it that Fiona was spending her entire last paycheck on alcohol just last episode, but now seems to be having no trouble refraining from drinking? Even just one shot of Fiona looking at a bottle longingly for a few seconds could’ve made her crawl out of alcohol dependency more believable. Even if she isn’t actually an alcoholic, it’s hard for me to follow that she’s suddenly fine, going to an AA meeting and getting a job all within one episode.

This brings me back to my issue with the show’s pacing this season. There were so many episodes of Fiona walking around town drunk, interacting with a few people, going home and going to bed. All of this filler could’ve been replaced with actual plot points, like Fiona getting arrested and fired, a lot earlier. Then, she would’ve had this motivation to get better and we would’ve watched her struggle to do so. Unfortunately, we now have one more episode for a grand total of two in which Fiona is attempting to recover and get her life back together, and it’s being fast-tracked by a large sum of money. Can somebody say “rushed”?

Ignoring the pacing, this season has all around been fairly uneventful, sans Fiona and Lip’s storylines. Lip says he might get to see Xan in a few days, and Tammi might be keeping the baby. There’s a lot of what ifs right now, and a lot that I’m hoping the finale will resolve or at least raise the stakes of. I’m having trouble caring about Xan when there’s also the pregnant Tammi storyline, though even that is hard to care about when she’s so standoffish and argumentative. I feel like she and Lip are just going in circles about what’s going on with the baby, and I for one don’t know how much longer I can stay on this ride — I’m getting dizzy.

This episode felt like a lot more filler, Frank being given a completely new storyline that can’t go much of anywhere with just one episode left in the season, and Debbie and Carl resolving a petty fight over a girl. And then there’s Kev and V, picking up a long-abandoned storyline after Kev’s vasectomy provided a couple episodes of laughs and not much else. Even Liam, who’s been absent for a while now, spent the episode playing video games with his friend.

The highlight of 9x13 was Fiona being offered her $100,000 back. Though it’s out of nowhere, I guess we just have to accept that this is how Fiona is going to better her life — unless of course she gives it to Frank to help pay off his medical bills, but I somehow doubt that’ll happen.

In the preview for the finale, we see Fiona visiting Ian in prison and also sitting down with Lip, asking him to take care of Liam, presumably, for her. I’m glad that we’ll finally get some loose ends tied up and even see a familiar face before the season ends. I’m just having trouble figuring out what questions we’re going to be left with going into Season 10, besides maybe Tammi’s decision regarding her pregnancy.

Going into the season finale, I’m hoping and praying for a huge plot twist. With the relatively slow and uneventful nature of this season, it only makes sense that the finale would be totally unexpected and jaw-dropping. As a lot of people probably are, I’m hoping deep down that Jimmy/Steve will make his return to whisk Fiona away and start a new life with her. I’ve always been on the fence about them as a couple, but I think Fiona has shown us that she needs her life to be exciting. I’d love to see Jimmy/Steve come back as a better person, but still with that dash of recklessness that Fiona needs. Regardless of if this happens or not, I just hope Fiona finds adventure somewhere. All will be revealed next week, I suppose.

Shameless airs Sundays on Showtime at 9/8c.

Jessica’s episode rating: 🐝🐝.5