#we may be through with the past...
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people who have different pronouns than their fursonas are so cool and sexy and smart and deserve money every time someone mixes these pronouns up
#fern is they/she#while i am ever more insistently just they/them#we get to have a little playing with gender through the lens of alter ego as a treat#though this distinction definitely also helps fuel the assumption virtually everyone makes about me that i go by she/her which i do not!!!#i have in the past. i may again one day in the future. i tend to switch up my pronouns once every couple years. but still#i'm just a very viscous genderfluid. people should nonetheless be able to read my bios or remember what pronouns i tell them#elise.rtf
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Resisting the urge to carve myself a distaff from one of the evergreen boughs ive dragged home and learn medieval in-hand distaff spinning. Do i need to do any of this ? No. Am i happy with supported spinning ? Yes ! Am i probably gonna do it anyway ? ... also yes
#we talk a lot about the rabbit hole of fiber arts#but i dont think we talk enough about the rabbit hole of different spinning tools and techniques...#so far id say ive gotten proficient in drop spindling wheel spinning and supported spinning with russian style spindles#really want to get into either tahklis or charkah wheels#bc im gonna be visiting my wonderful fiancé in india and hes still gonna have work for most if not all of the time im there#so my plan is to spin a LOT. hoping to get really proficient in cotton spinning bc ive always really sucked at that#and then i really wanna learn medieval style spinning as well#if i was an academic i could easily see myself devoting my life to writing a book about spinning tools through the ages#i am so endlessly fascinated by it#but also really bad at research and have a pretty crippling case of dyslexia#i wanna try. all the tools#it always feels like the way to get closer to the past is to spin like them#since that has been THE constant human activity since quite possibly pre-homo sapiens times#i dont know how much cloth the neanderthals wove or if they were more inclined to use animal skins#but we do know they made yarn and they were good at it#sadly my hands cant do cordage. fucks em up in about a minute flat#but iirc we've found stone spindle whorls which may have been used for spinning#stone whorls can also be used for hand drills and fire starters and things like that so idk#anyway. i just want to know SO badly#spinning
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I think this episode showed us three different faces of loneliness
#this is my take but hear me out#In chose loneliness almost like it’s the price to pay for what transpired in the past#To me wang’s loneliness comes from him being the only one who’s strong enough to live his truth#And Mol’s lonely cause she’s a bitch#just kidding or maybe not#i think she actually realized for the first time Wang isn’t going to stick with her#I think she thought (?) she would have been able to keep him by her side but here we are#bonus point: we may even say Siam’s sadness was born out of loneliness after having ‘lost’ his connection to In#so it’s not even 3 but 4..or at least 3.5#180 degree longitude passes through us#thai bl#personal
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one fun thing with having OCs is that you can just make them trans and it’s 100% canon :)
(bat: he/it(?), morten: they/he, einarr: he/him)
#low stakes 🦇#my art#agender#nonbinary#trans#yes i drew this for trans day of visibility#except i started late so by the time i finished the lineart it was way past midnight#this isn't even all of them#just outta my main four#and even then#who's saying rune is completely cis too#not me; he can easily be questioning his entire existence as we speak#bat is agender in the apathetic kinda way but also in the 'i do not want to go through puberty At All' kinda way#still uses he/him. it just feels neutral and not particularly gendered at all to him#he honestly doesn't realize gender matters that much to everyone else in the first place for a looooong time#until he met morten anyway who's very decidedly Not Cis and quite open about it#einarr is binary and has stayed mostly stealth for basically a thousand years so i don't think bat really knows about him#bat may actually possibly be comfy with he/it but i'm not sure if i am committing to that yet#it's a vibe at least#anyway i'm rambling#goodnight
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if anyones wondering what ive been up to while im off work sick with a full on fever,, :D its attempting to 3d model a gaoler in blender lol. he's still missing most of his bodyparts and all his fur ofc, but ive spent all day on this as is - lets just keep our fingers crossed i actually finish this project sometime this year xD
#may it not join wip hell#fr fanart#fr art#gaoler#fr gaoler#flight rising#blender#my art#mine#finn.txt#genuinely tho im dying here lmao this is the third bug im on from the past 2 weeks how am i alive#first from my friend in austria (we spent half our scheduled time in bed dying) then i get home and my brother infects me >:( and now my own#-mother too! GAH a thousand curses upon my family. may a dragon eat them#does anyone actually read tags#if so#wow youre so brave you made it through my feverous ramblings heres a gold star for you <3#yeah thats a heart im on web i dont have emojis sorry#anyway byeeeee
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those people whose lives will never cross with yours again but they did once and you can't help but wonder. and remember
#quil's unholy underworld#random#i moved around a lot when I was like 7-9 so I didn't get to stay anywhere long#but during second grade I lived in minnesota. just for that year. not even all of second grade I came there part way through#and there was this one girl there who no one liked. she was always alone. I didn't know why#i never spoke to her I just kinda noticed from afar#and then one day some of my friends took it too far and started picking on her and being cruel#i never talked to those other friends again. I can still remember what they said to her#so I told them off. and stood between them. and when my ''friends'' left I turned around and that's where our friendship started#in the corner of the field in the middle of winter. and it was practically the two of us for the rest of the year#i had a few other friends and they became closer with her. but at the center of it all was the two of us#we were inseparable. and my mother always talked about how her mother was so grateful#because no one else stayed friends with her for long and no parents liked to have her over. because she was ''too rowdy''#but she was just like me. we clicked#but then I moved again. we weren't even friends for a whole year. we only had a few months and I hated to leave her#i was wondering about her#so I got out my old yearbook and found her last name and looked her up#and I found her#i may be wrong but like. that's her name. that's her face. that hoodie belongs to a school where we lived#though I wasn't there to go with her. we never made it past second grade together#and she's making tik toks with people I don't know and I'm just like. we are two completely different people now#you're sporty and popular and I'm smarts and solitude#you're the complete opposite of the girl I stood in front of to try and protect you from those bullies in the snow that winter. and I'm hap#py for you#I felt like I needed to protect you when we were kids but you look like you're okay now#and I changed my name so even if you went looking for me you wouldn't find me#i'm looking through one way glass at the past#and wishing you the best. and remembering#don't mind me mutuals i'm just reflecting rn
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nothing where something used to be by vanessa carlton is SO gerard/elody and I am absolutely destroyed completely normal about it
#the number of people who will know this song and also d20 is slim to none but#I am very much not ok thinking abt this#‘aren’t we all searching for something we don’t understand? / someone else to see through our battle plans’ ???? ow?????#the whole bridge ‘try to remember there’s no future there’s no past / try to remember if it can last then it will last / try to remember it’#thinking about this fictional frog man crossing through alternate universes to find his wife#universes where she may or may not know him???#AHHHHHHHH#gerard of greenleigh#my beloved#dimension 20#d20#neverafter
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so crazy how fated everything surrounding fob and i have been like no it isn't parasocial we were literally written in the stars i literally understand them on a deeper level than anyone ever w r soulmates‼️
#i love them sooooooooooooo much always & forever they r my world#been going through an incredibly rough time recently and im trying to appreciate the things that make me happy more than focusing on the#negative stuff where/when i can and like. fob makes me so happy :') they make life very worth it for me as like. cringe as that may be idc#every day for the past few weeks have been so terrible but they r there they r always there. im so thankful for them. ough#okay that was todays moment of appreciation <3 we r enduring <3#txt
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Never ever ever in my life did I think I was the type of person to stay this strongly in love with someone. And it’s not out of a sense of desperation but it’s genuine. I’m slowly starting to get over the situation itself, but my love for him is not fading. In the past when I moved on from people my love for them moved on too. But that’s just not happening now. And to think, I was just starting to get with the idea that soulmates come and go and we have many of them, not just one. But the way I feel about him is…….… beyond everything.
#But I literally had a dream last night where I was about to marry someone else but the night before the wedding I told my fiance that#I couldn’t go through with it since I was still in love with…. him.#YIKES!#I thought this only happened in movies lol#is this what my life is destined to be???#I think it may also be because neither of us truly wanted things to end but we knew that at this moment in time they had to.#It just feels veryyyy unfinished business#I swear I’m not usually one to dwell in the past#this is all new to me
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Instead of Thirteen going into someone else’s mind again and having a rummage around in there, letting Yaz into hers is such a sexy idea.
Ultimate vulnerability. Peak romance. The reflection of the themes: this thing she’s done before to others - sometimes with so little thought it almost amounts to violation - and being on the receiving end of how intimate it is. Slotting together with the fact that she knows people have interfered with her mind before, but trusting Yaz with it, like an Ood with its brain in its hands and giving it to her. The character mirrors with Yaz - the clever pretty girls she’s mindwiped, even the Master where we don’t doubt it’s love that allows them to find the other’s mind even miles away. Letting Yaz know everything, everything, every love, loss, and lie. This Doctor who avoids contact so much - physical and emotional - letting Yaz touch her, fingers on her temples, thumbs on her cheekbones, forehead against hers.
Such a sexy idea.
#and would leave you in the perfect position#for a kiss afterwards#a bonus#even though we might as well have seen them fuck#in a way you could get past the censors#damn i need this#a door once opened may be stepped through in either direction#mindwalk
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I requested a copy of May We Be Spared to Meet on Earth from my library because its huge and expensive and they accepted it! so I've been working my way through it the past few weeks. many things about this book and these letters make me uncontrollably emotional but nothing nearly so much as harry goodsir's letters. what's really getting to me right now is harry's relationship with his aunt ann taylor on his mother's side. she knit him things, and in one of his letters where he's requesting clothing items from his family for the expedition (I believe it's to his sister) he mentions requesting to have his aunt knit the wooly things for him, since he knows the quality of her work to be better than anything he's seen in the shops in london.
I know genaology is a lot more complicated than this especially when it comes to scottish clans but I'm thinking about how I had a great grandmother who was a Taylor (my little brother was named Taylor for her). back in 2019 I was in a short summer program to study scottish literature in Edinburgh. It was the first time I had ever been out of the country for so long. when I had finished my program, I stayed a while longer and my family came up to visit me. we went to one of those tartan plaid shops (one of the nicer more legit ones but still largely for usamerican tourists like us lol) and they actually had a taylor tartan, despite it being such a small clan!! (they were so small they later merged with the camerons.) my brother and I bought matching taylor scarves...and just the other week, not at ALL knowing what I would learn that day, I was wearing mine while reading the letter where I learned about harry's aunt :')
all this to say, with each letter I read I slowly fall a little bit more in love with this darling, brilliant man, who I may in some way be a descendant of?? I think about scotland almost every day since that trip, but especially now as I learn more about harry's life. like when I was in edinburgh I had the extraordinary opportunity to visit the royal surgeons hall museum, which I LOVED. but at the time, I didn't even know Harry existed, let alone that he had been the curator there right before he left for the expedition!! If I ever get to go back I want to visit his hometown of anstruther and cry
#his mother's side were taylors so his mom and his aunt and i think he had an uncle on her side too?#also...the colors of the taylor tartan are SO beautiful?? soft sage green run through with gentle lavender. like...#anyway having big feelings and just planning a whole goodsir-centric trip to cope#there's also a bar in greenhithe along the thames called the sir john franklin that i wanna hit up lol#i also feel the need to make the disclaimer that#any connection on a deep level really does not need to have anything to do with ancestry and i'm aware of all the bullshit#this just happens to be meaningful to me personally because of my experiences briefly living in scotland and learning its history#and being a lit major and finding patterns and experiencing the beauty of connecting with the past in something as simple as a scarf#man i just care about this dead guy 😭#personal#harry ds goodsir#may we spared to meet on earth
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still kinda pissed off abt that bluey post i saw some days ago that was basically judging ppl for being into it as adults so im just gonna say it. ppl on here think that as long as their not actively mocking someone for their interests and being a playground bully that it ultimately isnt their fault when others feel negative abt their behavior
#🐻💖#sure you said the show is good but when you still have the attitude as if most adult fans who watch the show#are too stupid to understand that its for preschoolers and as if everyone who isnt a little kid who watches it only watches kids cartoons#than no duh people are gonna feel judged and insulted. you not straight up bashing other ppls interests isnt commendable#when you still have that omg this is so weird!!!1 attitude towards it. ppl can tell if ur judging them even through text#i thought we moved past side eyeing people for watching cartoons as adults but i guess not#just bcuz someone is watching a little kids show doesnt mean u can make the blanket assumption that theyre immature#whatever i may delete this later. im just so annoyed by everyone recently people online are so damn snooty
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thinking abt natphi
#me n a friend at the time decided both of our dnd characters would be stuck in that difficult place between ‘besties’ and ‘deeply in love’#and i think about it ALL THE TIME#but that friend and i don’t talk anymore (no falling out we just grew apart) and. idk#it’d feel weird to talk about their oc considering we don’t talk#but i think about that relationship natphi has soooo often#bc nat spent a lot of her life alone. most of it#and then she met luca (the friend’s oc). and the two got on like a house on fire#and i don’t think natphi realizes it. but she’s in love#and. i dunno they’ve both been through some shit but they find comfort in each other#and luca sometimes helps natphi perform#and they keep almost kissing backstage but they Never Talk About It#plus luca has a backstory element of looking for a girl she lost- a girl she loved#and that adds a whole other foil#natphi refuses to even entertain the idea that something could be happening. luca’s eyes are elsewhere#don’t fuck this up just because of your ego#and while luca isn’t my character and i can’t speak for her. i think she feels for natphi as well#but she has to deal with that conflict of past vs present. does she sacrifice a blossoming romance to chase after someone who may be dead#or does she try to move on despite how much of a betrayal it feels like#idk there’s just so many LAYERS to it. they’re in love but they don’t acknowledge it. they’re tragic and yet they’re beautiful#and i think they exist in that stasis for a long time#idk if they ever get together. i like to think they do but maybe not#maybe they’re stuck in limbo forever. star-crossed#they have each other’s friendship yes. but there’s something else there and they struggle to realize it#idk i’m thinking abt the song butch 4 butch and it is literally just them#but once again. luca isn’t my character so i’d feel bad using her likeness#but i also don’t wanna replace her. luca is important to natphi’s story#idk maybe i should contact that friend. if i get their insta i could credit them in any posts including luca#we were good friends too. bet it’d be fun to catch up#natphi
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Episode 27 of Iris Complex (or, Part 2 of The Club) is now live on Tapas, featuring the brilliant art of @salamispots
Read it here
#Iris Complex#Caitlin Soliman#Josh Tierney#horror#mystery#comic#comics#webcomic#webcomics#illustration#manga#Tapas Media#We may be through with the past but
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when everything everything said “in 20,000 years they’ll trawl the seaboard / but all that's washing up there is a keyboard / yeah, they’ll piece it all together from that”. . . . i felt it
#everything everything#clenches fist#its about. how one day we will be viewed through the same fisheye poor-resolution lens through which we view our own past#one day we may well be archeological curiosity
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no action exists in a vacuum
#and that is all I will say on the many d.s.mp discourses happening on the dash rn lmao#I may come back to this with a full on breakdown of why some guys are probably less likely to#plan lore or act out lore now than they were in the past#and how a series of unfortunate events causes plot lines to fall through#and how us the fans are to be blamed for some of the shit we are now getting mad at lol#but rn it's not that time
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