#we were friends once maybe ::: katja

[ravenwicked]

THE STOWAWAY AND THE RAVEN

to ruin something before it can ruin you / to open yourself up for the first time to the potential for ruin. to belive that every relationship is transactional that your value is from what you do / to believe that someone acknowledges you for the first time. to be Nice to avoid the possibility of harm / to be Nice because you no longer anticipate the harm. to be mistaken to be heartbroken to be unrequited to be selfish to be selfless.

[[ @astowsway​ ]]

[grasslandgirl]

FALLING for you

It was an accident. Really. Katja was tall, and she’d always been more comfortable on horseback than on her own feet. So when a root sticking out of the ground caught on her boot while she was walking home from school with Ostentatia; it was an inevitability that Katja would trip. And take Ostentatia down with her. And somehow, through a feat of physics Katja didn’t understand, ended up sprawled on her back with Ostentatia on top of her- their faces mere inches apart.

Katja stared. Ostentatia stared back. Katja didn’t think about how she could smell Ostentatia’s strawberry lip gloss, the Love Spell perfume she reapplied at lunch, the oregano hair rinse her Nonna made her use every weekend. Ostentatia blinked down at Katja. Katja was sure she was bright red and probably smelled like the stables (the bad stables smell, like dirt and sweat and poop- not the good stables smell of fresh hay and Cinnamon’s special cinnamon-scented mane conditioner). 

Ostentatia sat up, rolling off of Katja and sitting down on the grass beside her. Katja closed her eyes for a moment, staying sprawled out on her back. Her stomach was one big knot and she could still feel Ostentatia watching her. Her knee was right next to Katja’s ribs, and if either of them moved even an inch, they would be touching. Katja opened her eyes again, looking up at the blue sky through the branches of the tree above her.

She sat up. Ostentatia was still staring at her, mouth pursed up tiny and determined. 

"I- I'm sorry-" Katja started to say.

Ostentatia shoved her hand out towards Katja's face, holding one finger in front of her face to silence her. "Don't say you're sorry." Ostentatia commanded, and Katja's mouth snapped shut. She tried very hard not to think about how close Ostentatia's hand was to her mouth. She tried not to think about how close Ostentatia’s mouth had been to hers a minute ago. This is just how Ostentatia, Katja told herself, she's loud and she's pushy and she goes into my personal space because she cares about me- like a friend. That's it. "Don't apologize to me," Ostentatia continued, scowling up at Katja. "You did not to anything wrong."

"But I-"

"No!" Ostentatia interrupted again, "I need to tell you something! And I'm going to say it!"   

Katja nodded, mute with worry. Ostentatia stood, unspeaking. Her eyes bored holes into Katja. Her jaw trembled, even as she glared, and Katja worried for a second that Ostentatia was about to cry.

Ostentatia crying was the third worst thing Katja could think of, after Cinnamon dying or her Dad being upset. Katja very pointedly did not think about the connecting factor between those three things. If Ostentatia started crying, than Katja was going to start crying too, and then Ostentatia would be upset she'd made Katja cry, and then Penny would appear out of nowhere- she had a weird sixth sense ability to tell whenever one of them was crying- and the weird moment would be broken.

Katja didn't think about how pretty Ostentatia still managed to look- even when she cried. Tears streaming down her face in clean lines, eyes sparkling even as she glared at someone or something, nose turning bright red. Katja always ended up with a lot of snot over her face, and that wasn't a good look for anyone but Cinnamon (who looked beautiful always and forever no matter the circumstances).

Katja wondered what was so important or so bad that Ostentatia couldn't bring herself to say it aloud- even to her. There were only a few things that Ostentatia struggled to say (that was one of the things Katja lo- liked the most about her; how Ostentatia wasn't ever afraid to say what she thought)- not like Katja, who still felt the most comfortable talking to Cinnamon.

"I'm going to say it." Ostentatia repeated, but it sounded more like she was saying it to herself this time, not to Katja. Her finger was still an inch away from Katja's lips. Katja still wasn't thinking about it. Ostentatia had really pretty hands, too: perfect nails with real gems on them, she and her mom had a regular appointment to get them done together every month. One time, Ostentatia invited Katja to go with them, but Katja didn't end up going- it's hard to set up horse tack with inch-long acrylics. (Even if Ostentatia said her nail tech could totally do a horse design if Katja wanted. Even though Ostentatia had taken Katja's hand in her own and told her she had nice nail beds. Even though Ostentatia's hands had been warm and gentle on hers.) Katja blinked. Ostentatia was scowling.

Back before they were The Maidens, back before they were friends, Katja had thought that Ostentatia's scowl was the scariest thing in the world (after the thought of Cinnamon getting hurt or dying, of course). But, Katja realized with a little bit of pride, she knew Ostentatia well enough now to know this wasn't her pissed-off-at-You scowl, this was her pissed-off-at-Me scowl.

"I'm gonna say it," Ostentatia said for the third time, almost murmuring it. Her perfectly-manicured eyebrows were low over her eyes, jaw set and determined.

"I love you," Ostentatia whispered.

Katja's heart fell out of her chest.

Ostentatia wasn't one who was afraid of telling people she loved them- she did it often, loudly, and with pride. But this was different. This wasn't how Ostentatia said it to the other maidens, or even how Katja had overheard her say it to her family. This was quiet, an intention behind the words that Katja was terrified to put a name to. 

Ostentatia huffed, blowing a small strand of hair out of her face. "I mean like- whatever, I love you. Like. Eugh-" she finally took her hand away from Katja's face, gesturing with both of her arms wildly- "Like love you, okay! Like, Zelda and her weirdo boyfriend, like Danielle and Antiope, like Sam and that fucking bitch Aelwyn. Like- like you. Okay??" Ostentatia's voice rose in pitch and volume as she talked, but behind all her bravado, Katja saw something she'd never seen in Ostentatia before- uncertainty.

Oh.

"Oh." She breathed, and like she was waiting for any response from Katja, Ostentatia froze- arms hanging in the air, mid-gesture.

"Oh?" Ostentatia echoed. Her voice was angry, but her eyes were still uncertain, even- afraid.

"I, uh, like- love you too." Katja mumbled. She'd read a lot of the romance-centric books in the Babysitter's Horse series (even written some stories of her own for some of them, but that wasn't here or there-) but nothing Katja had ever read could have prepared her for how hard it was to say it aloud. "Uh, I didn't know that- but you just- and I don't know how to. Yeah."

"Yeah?"

"Uh. Did you want to-" Katja racked her brain for something cool or romantic to say. (In most of the Babysitter's Horse books, they went and got hay from the same trough together- or even sugar cubes in some of the later, teen editions- but Katja didn't think Ostentatia would want to do that.) "Get ice cream? From Basrars? With me? Just me- not the other girls? Or, I mean, if you wanted to invite them too we can if you want to, but I thought maybe we could-"

"Yes." Ostentatia was twisting one of her rings around her finger- a nervous tic- but she was smiling up at Katja. She had a really pretty smile, and it made something go mushy and warm in Katja's stomach to realize that it was her that was making Ostentatia smile like that. "Yes. Basrar's. A date."

"Oh. Okay. Cool." A date. 

"Okay," Ostentatia said definitively. She took Katja's hand in her own- warm, with callouses on her palm and cool metal rings on her fingers. "Let's go." Ostentatia tugged Katja to her feet. 

“Ostentatia?” Katja hated how her voice wavered, hated how even in this wonderful, important moment, she still shook with uncertainty. She turned, raised an imperious eyebrow; but there was still that warm smile on her mouth, her hand around Katja’s- and that was enough to bolster Katja’s courage. “I wanted to kiss you. Earlier. When we-” Katja felt like her face was on fire- “and also. Before then. A lot. So.” She grimaced, looking down at Ostentatia’s warm hand still tight around hers. “Sorry, I’m not good at this.”

“Katja.” Ostentatia took a step closer. Katja could see her pristine Fantasy Uggs in the grass. “Look at me.” How was Katja supposed to ignore that? She did, tugging her gaze away from their interwoven fingers. Ostentatia’s smile was a blinding, burning thing, spread across her face. Katja had heard her talk about her god’s Holy Forge before- how it had burned impossibly hot for centuries, how no mere mortal could look upon it without Logran’s blessing or their face would get burned off- Katja thought that’s what Ostentatia’s smile looked like. So beautiful she was scared she would go blind from the force of it. “You’re good at this. You’re good at a lot of stuff. Don’t shit talk my girlfriend like that.”

“Girlfriend-?” Katja squeaked. 

“Yeah.” 

“Okay.” 

“And for the record? I thought about kissing you, too.” Ostentatia tipped her head, huffing as though she’d just won an argument. Katja beamed. “So there. Can we go get ice cream and make out now?”

“Ye- yeah. Yes. Let’s go.” Katja held Ostentatia’s hand the whole way to Basrar’s- and she didn’t trip once.

[jq37]

The Report Card – Fantasy High: The Seven Ep 6

Bitches Be Shopping

What is up y’all. A little late but let’s jump in with episode six of The Seven where our girls have just received a LOT of information, Sam most of all who got put into a little vision coma that she’s just now waking up from.

She explains the vision to her friends (as she interprets it, the other Eidolons didn’t die, just became part of the natural forces of the world) and then the bear that Penny made on a whim last episode (who is Russian, named Koda, and somehow a trained circus bear) gets into a fight with Katja with their friends buffing the two to make things more interesting because these are still idiot teens, life or death situation or no. Yelle decides to be the adult and tells them to knock it off and get back on mission.

That means Katja needs to call her dad since he’s knows the guy who’s the best lead to getting to TK ( Talcidimir Tallbreeze who I’ll call Tal). She actually manages to get her dad this time who is inside a giant snake on his hell mission. Katja asks what he knows about TK and he says she’s a sorcerer but also has a spell book so maybe she’s multiclassed. Sam and Ant desperately want to know if they boned and Katja absolutely is not interested in that knowledge. Yelle decides to just ask which makes her dad a little annoyed since he’s kind of in the middle of something (literally) and that annoys Ant, Ost, and Sam who--respectively, accuse him of gaslighting Kat, cast Command on him, and cast Bane on him to aid the Command spell. 

Mr. Cleaver fails the save and Ost commands him to tell Katja the truth. He admits that he did hook up with TK and he regrets it (note: it wasn’t like he cheated. It was just a casual hookup that wasn’t fulfilling it seems). Ost demands he apologize for not being there for Kat and Sam berates him for being at the top of the world and not lifting up his daughter too. For his part, Kat’s dad seems genuinely apologetic and promises to do better. 

“You don’t need to be the best father, you just need to be there,” Katja says, making her dad break down crying. 

Yelle, who has no daddy issues, is a bit less aggro and says that everyone makes mistakes and he can start making it up right now by helping with the Tal situation. She also gives them the tip that a cold spell will probably get them out of the snake lickety split.  She is on the money with the snake tip and Mr. Cleaver gets them all invites to a masquerade ball Tal is hosting. It’s being held on the Rumbosa which is this city-sized leisure ship. Mr. Cleaver says he’ll be back as soon as he can and, in the meantime, she should take care of her friends, “even the first 2 that were terrifying to me.”

The girls give Katja the axe they took as a birthday present (it was apparently her birthday the day before which Rekha just decided and Ost/Izzy refuses to accept without a fight because she *knows* Kat’s bday) which is identified as the Axe of Sundering (it can shatter objects, people, and sometimes concepts like halving movement). The two unnamed potions Yelle found are also ID’d as a Potion of Fly and a Potion of Gaseous Form. She distributes the Heath Potions to people without heals. Ant’s new arrows bypass some resistances and let her treat whatever she hits with the first one like it’s her favored enemy. 

According to their invites, the ship they need is docking in the city of Gravalvia soon (a very old city in the Baronies) so they need to figure out a plan. They have some downtime, during which:

Zelda tries to hype up the team.

Zelda tries to see if Ost is OK wrt dad stuff and Ost has a Full Breakdown after badly pretending she’s fine. 

While Zelda, Ost, and Penny are being Emotional and Sam is trying to literally cool them down with her powers, Ant and Yelle keep watch and experience emotional stability as the Adults Of The Party 

Anyway, after a night of rest, they head to the golden city of Gravalvia which is this very cool, very pretty city with mosaics and fountains and I assume columns. They get there and there’s a dramatic fight happening in the square which is halted when one of the fighters realizes that the country he’s fighting for doesn’t exist anymore. And now, it’s time for what we’ve all been waiting for. Shopping Montage! Let’s go girl by girl.

Katja and Ost

Kat asks for help from Ost with getting fancy for this gala since she’s never really done anything dressy before (and she had no mom to help--Kaaaat) and Ost is happy to oblige, dressing them both like “Jersey trash”. Kat, of course, still wears her Khakis underneath.

Antiope

Ant decides to get a vibe for what people here wear and picks something that will blend in but be forgettable so she can be stealthy. Classy blue dress and mask.

Penny

Penny...OK, I absolutely cannot describe what happens here in any way that will do justice to the scene. I am going to tell you what matters to the plot. You have to watch this yourself if you want to see the entire table have a collective breakdown. 

While looking for a costume, Penny runs into a halfling who is a member of the Society of Shadows--Laertes. He wants to know why she hasn’t responded to their invitation yet. She says she’s really eager to join, she just wasn’t sure how to respond (and also, she’s kind of in the middle of something). He says she can join by just messaging back and then her loved ones just have to sign waivers to have their memories wiped of her and she’s good to go. Say what now? asks Penny. She didn’t realize this was like a full Men in Black situation. 

He says it’s ultimately her decision and leaves.

Of course, I left out the parts where he ate a handful of Candy Heart’s remains, became violently ill, almost projectile vomited into Penny’s mouth, and she tried to kiss him despite him being a full adult. It’s A Lot, ok?

Also, we don’t find out until later but Penny picks a sexy duck costume for reasons that make more sense if you watch the scene but not *much* more sense. She also burns one of the healing potions on this dude as he is bar

Danielle

Danielle tries to get some info on the guests at the party and gets the names Lawrence LaDuc, Princess Autumn, and Duston who is the playboy cousin of Tal. She also hears some dude saying some colonize and plunder the earth BS and casts Heat Metal on him, fully mercing the dude. Ice cold. 

She tries to play it off like it’s the Curse of the Forest and when that doesn’t work and people start coming for her, she wildshapes into a dragon wyrmling and starts roasting people, killing 1 and dropping 2 to zero. 

Unfortunately, one of her party members is a known dragon hater and uses her new arrows to snipe her right out of the sky. Ant is horrified once she realizes what she’s done but Yelle says it’s all good. It’s NOT all good, says Ant, I STABBED YOU. You’re allowed to be mad! Yelle says she’s just really good at compartmentalizing but what Ant’s getting here is that Yelle doesn’t really believe that her feelings matter which echo the fears of her moms. 

Sam

Sam uses a combination of Mantle of Inspiration, glamour magic, performance, and good old flirting to get herself some killer clothes and also start a spontaneous musical number Giselle style.  

Brennan says she looks resplendent and, honestly, when does she not?

They reconvene, Zelda in a classic hoop skirt. Yelle realizes she never got a costume and just whips out a Met Gala level, autumn themed, Queen Mab-esque costume with Druidcraft which she could have done this whole time so I guess that’s why she was cool spending her shopping time getting gossip and playing Poison Ivy. 

They get to the ship and the way this works, everyone has to make an entrance and the really rich people (including Tal) are on a dais up top watching everyone come in. They all have to give fake names for the night since it’s a masquerade and they have to do Performance or Persuasion checks to see how impressive they look going in. 

Before they go in, they plan a little. Penny wants to look for TK. Sam wants to find Dunston. Ost wants to talk to the bouncers. Yelle wants to see if there are plants she can manipulate (there are btw) and for any exits. 

A quick rundown of how these all go:

Katja aka Mere (which means both mom and horse): 16 

Ant aka Midnight Huntress: 18 

Penny aka Penny Duckstone: 13

Zelda aka Madame Goodparty: 2 (Poor Zelda)

Sam aka Songbird: 22 (but she takes a hit to entrance save Zelda from totally flaming out)

Ost aka Stanley Gucci: 13

And Danielle, who never hogs the spotlight and is embarrassed to admit that maybe she does want to be the center of attention for once in her life with a Natural 20, gets a 29, absolutely bringing down the house as Empress Anima. As she walks forward she feels a voice say to her, “You got this. I love the name. You wear it well.”

Tal seems very impressed by her and a lady in a rabbit mask (Coeliabranca who I’ll call Coel if she comes up more) comes down to bring her up to the top with the high rollers. As she leaves, Sam casts Fly on her, just in case and holds the Concentration. 

Ost and Kat go talk to the bouncers and Kat decides to pretend to be her mom to get access to the area Yelle is. She rolls low and is told, “Hey, aren’t you already up there?” Kat is like, fuck and Ost saves her by using her charm earrings to get an entourage of guards who will let them through and do what she says. Once up there, Kat doesn’t see her mom which I can imagine she has mixed feelings about. 

Sam finds Dunston who is talking about Fantasy Bitcoin and seems like a real “Step on me mommy” type you know? Like, I feel like he’s into findom. Anyway, Sam charms him and his hangers on and learns about a procedure called a Phlebectomy that involves something going into their nose and then they feel better. Sam is rightfully horrified because, as I said, she is Most Likely To Survive A Horror Movie and can sense BS when she sees is. It’s apparently all the rage with the rich people here which is, como de dice, concerning seeing as they’re surrounded by them but we’ll get to that. Sam takes advantage of Dunston’s proclivities and gets him alone, knocks him out, steals him clothes, and pretends to be him (a *very* good scene by Sephie). 

Penny sees a gnome gnome boy (Lysander Higgins) shining shoes and finds out from him that there is a copper earth genasi woman here. In a very Cinderella move, she asks what shoes she was wearing. Then, she makes out with him which like, sure. At least it’s not a grown adult man this time. Before she gets her kisses in, she does tell the group what she learned. 

Up with the rich people, Yelle is introduced to Tal’s friend who is into Eidolons because of the name she chose. Between the shoes and her knowledge, they confirm that it’s TK! Yelle asks what she knows about Eidolons and she says that 7 is a very powerful number.

We cut to Ant who is patrolling the room as the sun sets and she suddenly hears a little beeping. It’s coming from a small crystal that was in Preston’s shirt (which she still has on her because???). Guests start dripping goo from their noses and transforming into monsters. Ant realizes that some kind of spell is happening triggered by midnight and this beeping. Hope these costumes are battle ready cause it’s fight time baybee!

Superlatives 

Danielle: Most Likely to Be on The News for Murdering Fantasy Jeff Bezos

I cannot imagine what was running through Yelle’s head when she decided that, having just rolled into a foreign country, her next move was to start using lethal force on anti-environmentalist colonizing capitalists. Like, she’s not *wrong* per se but she is wild--in all senses of the word.  

Random Thoughts

Kat keeps saying yesterday was her birthday which Ost/Izzy (and the rest of the group to a less vocal degree) are simply not having because maybe her dad would forget her birthday but her girls absolutely would not.

“You’re great because you stayed,” is the other killshot Kat line to her dad.

At a certain point Sam says, “This is so unhealthy,” to I think Yelle and like, if SAM is telling you your coping mechanisms are unhealthy, get thee to therapy.

OK, so someone, presumably Anima’s spirit, talks to Yelle as she makes her grand entrance which seems like info they should get to Talura ASAP, right? Cause that’s evidence they’re not dead-dead, just changed in form. But also Anima, girl. Don’t talk to Yelle. Talk to your rampaging sister!

"That's my secret, I stay in initiative."

Just a process note, notes are taken for the next ep and I am working on getting that recap up ASAP. As a battle ep, it will be in the abbreviated style that I did for last battle ep. 

In this episode, Penny rolls a Nat 1 (which she rerolls) and one of Brennan’s NPCs rolls a Nat 1. Ant rolls 2 Nat 20s, Yelle rolls 1, and Brennan says that one of his NPCs gets a 20 which sweeps him entirely into Sam’s dance number. 

[asoftplxcetoland]

i said i was working on an almost-kiss scene earlier and honestly, i just want to share the whole damn scene because i’m really proud of it. most of it’s under the cut because it’s a super long one, lmao. 

TAGLIST | @reveriecs @kmunrowrites @kitty-mochi

I stayed quiet through most of dinner, keeping my head down as I pushed food around my plate. It was nice enough, but my appetite had faded when faced with the most ridiculously attractive man on the planet sat across from me. Nat was absolutely no help at all, chatting to everyone around us and winking everytime I tried to get her attention.

See if I ever baked her another chocolate orange loaf.

Every so often, I looked up—and every time, Jaimie was looking back at me. Quietly, carefully watching, before turning to the person next to him—one of Molly’s coworkers, I thought—and resuming conversation.

I downed the rest of my wine—I wasn’t sure which glass it was, I’d stopped keeping count—and tapped Nat on the shoulder.

“Bathroom,” I said, keeping my voice low, and left the table to head indoors.

Inside it was quiet, the only sound the noise of chatter and music drifting in through the open door. I leaned back against the fridge and closed my eyes, exhaling slowly. My head was spinning, and I didn’t know if it was from the wine or being so close to Jaimie.

It was easier at work. We could stay out of each other’s way there. Social situations, like this, where he was more relaxed, less laser-focused on work…it just reminded me of what I couldn’t have. I’d never been able to make him smile the way he did outside of the office, let alone laugh like I could hear him doing now. Jealousy settled in the pit of my stomach, an ugly, heavy thing, fuelled by the alcohol in my system.

I wanted nothing more than to be at his side. To hold his hand and tell silly stories and poke gentle fun. I wanted to just be with him, in the easy, uncomplicated way that Molly and Katja and their married friends all were.

But I knew that Jaimie saw me as a colleague; a distant friend who supplied him with baked goods at best. Nothing more, nothing less.

I didn’t stand a chance.

I sighed and pulled myself upright, only to have to grab onto the countertop as I wobbled on my heels. That much wine—it really had been a mistake.

“You alright there?”

My head shot up at the familiar Scottish brogue, and I grimaced. This was less than ideal.

“Bit too much to drink, I think.” I forced a smile. “I’ll be fine.”

“You don’t look so good.” He sounded almost concerned, and it threw me. Somehow, he’d moved across the kitchen without me realising until he stood right in front of me.

“I’m fine,” I insisted. He raised his eyebrows, skeptical.

“And I’m Muhammad Ali. C’mon now, let’s get you sat down.” He reached out, one hand hovering by my elbow, and I conceded defeat—only to stumble as I stepped forward, right into his arms.

“Woah there, Cinderella,” he chuckled, and my traitorous heart fluttered, my ability to form coherent thoughts flatlining at the sudden appearance of his fucking dimples.

“Shoes off, I think,” he suggested gently, and I nodded mutely before toeing them off. He kept a steadying hand on my arm as he led me through to the living room, and I selfishly leaned in, wanting to take advantage of the moment as much as possible while I could.

He guided me to sit on the couch before disappearing. The warmth of his hand on my bare skin lingered, a tingling brand that only served to remind me of all the things I wanted and couldn’t have.

Jaimie reappeared scant moments later, holding a glass of water.

“Here, drink this,” he said, uncharacteristically gentle as he handed it to me. I didn’t argue, and sipped it slowly as he crouched down in front of me. His brow creased in apparent concern as he searched my face for something I couldn’t quite figure out. His hands rested on the couch, either side of my knees, and for a moment I found myself distracted, fixated on his strong forearms, framed perfectly by his rolled up shirtsleeves.

“You sure you’re okay?”

“Yeah,” I nodded. “Just…been a long few weeks. Haven’t been sleeping well.”

“I know the feeling,” he muttered, a flash of something passing across his face, and I frowned, the corners of my mouth turning down. We might not have been close, and I certainly didn’t have the right to worry about him—but I still wanted to. I wanted to smooth away the creases in his forehead and kiss him until the tight, unhappy set of his mouth relaxed.

I wanted to make him happy. But I didn’t have the right.

“I’m fine, honest,” I reassured him. “You don’t have to stay, I’ll be okay until Katja demands the cake be brought out.”

His only response was to tap the still half-full glass. “Drink up.”

“Why are you being so nice to me?” I blurted out, unable to stop myself, and immediately regretted it. Fucking traitorous wine.

“You’re drunk,” he pointed out gently. “We can talk later.”

Oh, right. He was just being decent. Like always. It wasn’t anything special. He was just being Jaimie—kind, unfailingly good, and unable to stop himself from looking after other people.

“I’m sorry,” I muttered, looking down. “You shouldn’t be having to look after me.”

“Hey now, none of that,” he hushed me, hand hovering over my knee. He was so close to me, his face mere inches from mine, and my breath caught in my throat. His gaze was steady, bright blue eyes fixed on mine as we both fell silent, the only sound our breathing as our chests rose and fell in tandem.  

I wanted to reach out, to run my fingers through his dark hair and trace the strong line of his jaw. I wanted to kiss him until I was breathless, slide my hands down his shoulders and over his chest, feel the beat of his heart under my fingers.

Without realising it I’d leaned in, swaying into his orbit. There was a moment where I thought—maybe, just maybe.

It felt like the air itself had frozen, the chatter from the garden barely a whisper on the breeze. My heartbeat pounded in my ears, blood rushing through my veins as he looked at me—just looked at me, unguarded and honest in a way I’d never seen before. His tongue darted out to wet his bottom lip and my fingers twitched in aborted motion, only just able to stop myself from reaching out to caress his face.

“Bethany, I—“

“Oi, Beth! Cake time!”

The spell broke, the moment shattering at Molly clattered into the living room. She drew up short at the sight of us, her expression bewildered as she looked between us. He stood abruptly, expression closed off once more, and took a step back.

“I’ll catch you later,” he said gruffly before leaving the room, pushing past Molly to head back outside, I presumed.

“Did I interrupt something?” She asked me, her words laced with concern and just a hint of excitement. I was never going to hear the end of this.

“…I have no fucking idea.”

[do-not-call-me-meathead]

aposiopesis (part 6)

My Orphan Black fic on AO3

part 1  part 2  part 3  part 4  part 5  part 7

@agoddamnsupernova

“Oi, sleepyheads,” Felix shouted as he blasted the door open with as much extravagance as he could muster.

Cosima and Sarah didn’t have time to jump away from each other. He saw them. Cosima’s leg over Sarah’s, the punk’s hand under Cosima’s shirt, both of them curled up so close that limbs were hard to tell apart (not just because their limbs were identical).

“Felix!” Sarah shouted and threw a pillow angrily at her brother. “Maybe a bit more warnin’ next time, yeah? Maybe a few knocks? Like a normal person.”

Felix put his hands on his hips and looked back and forth between the clones. “Next time put a sock on the door.”

“Piss off, Fee,” Sarah replied with a roll of her eyes. “What time is it?”

“Time for Kira and Charlotte to go. Arthur’s here and lookin’ like a snack. And time for everyone else to help me set up the art show. I need all hands on deck.”

Cosima wasn’t surprised by Sarah’s negative reaction to him mentioning the art show. She had heard Sarah complain about it to Art last night. She was happy for her brother, but she thought this was the worst timing.

“Yeah, a’right. We’ll be there in a sec.”

Felix locked eyes with Cosima before he left. The stare looked like he was trying to say: I hope you know what you’re doing.

“Felix has mastered walkin’ in on people, me specifically,” Sarah grumbled as she got up from the bed and put her hair up into a high messy bun that Cosima didn’t think she had ever seen before. Cosima tried to not gawk.

“Oi, voyeur, let’s go.”

...........

After washing up in the bathroom, Cosima headed for the kitchen where she heard what sounded like angry whispers. Something about it made Cosima stay back and listen.

“Fee,” Sarah groaned with what sounded like frustration. “Don’t.”

“You know how I feel about this, Sarah. It’s not healthy. You can’t keep doin’ this to yourself.”

“Doin’ what?” Sarah growled.

Felix sighed. “You feel something that she doesn’t feel. She’s with Delphine, darling.”

“I know, Fee. I know.”

At the end of their conversation, Cosima gulped. She wanted Sarah to argue. She wanted her to tell Felix that it wasn’t one-sided. That Cosima felt something too. But she didn’t. She didn’t know if Sarah believed her or not. But then again, she couldn’t forget that Delphine was in the equation. Cosima groaned. She hated being in this confusing position.

“Hey guys,” Cosima greeted loudly as she approached the siblings. She tried to ignore the fact that Sarah was just staring at her cup of tea. “Scott’s going to pick me up in a few minutes so we can develop more doses of the cure. But we will definitely be there for your art show, Felix.”

Felix smiled at her, though it seemed more forced than normal. “You better be there, darling. Alison and Donnie are setting up my loft right now. I’m avoiding their inevitable bickering.”

Sarah shrugged. “Maybe Alison won’t be controllin’ now that she’s all zen and shite.”

The two foster siblings stared at each other and then immediately broke out into rounds of laughter that even made Cosima chuckle a little.

“With all the illegal drugs you three have done, let’s cut her a little bit of slack about how she deals with her own addiction,” S stated wisely as she entered the kitchen, looking put together and beautiful as always. “Mornin’, chickens.”

Both Felix and Sarah grumbled in reply. Cosima knew they all smoked joints, but the looks on their faces made it seem like there were worse problems than just a little bit of pot.

“Good morning, Siobhan,” Cosima told her with a smile, still forever grateful the woman hadn’t hated her for what happened to her mother.

“Sleep well, Cosima? Sarah used to complain all the time about her terrible bed. I’ve never been able to ask someone about it since all of her nighttime visitors usually scattered by the morning.”

“Oh my god, S!” Sarah jumped up out of her chair and gaped at her foster mom.

Siobhan put her hands up in the air. “I wasn’t the one who had them over. So, Cosima. What’s the verdict?”

Cosima noticed that Sarah was glaring at her and that S was grinning in return. This was obviously something that she shouldn’t have gotten herself into.

“Gosh, uh, can I be Switzerland?”

Felix chuckled. “Join the club, Cos. S first asked me when I was ten. Don’t worry about them. Besides, we got places to be. Do you think Scotty will drive me to my place?”

Cosima sighed. This was already going to be a very long day.

.......

They had the cure. Enough for more than one hundred people. But there was an obvious problem. They didn’t know more than a few clones and didn’t know how many there actually were on the planet.

“It won’t be impossible to find the others, I mean, right?” Scott asked her once he realized she was deep in thought. “Katja found Beth. Beth found you and Alison. I mean, Helena found… my point is, we can do this.”

“You think?”

“With your tenacity and my skills? Hell yeah. We have time, Cosima. To find everyone.”

Cosima bit her lip. “I know we do. But what about them?”

Scott sighed and shook his head. “All we can do is our best. I mean, that’s all anyone can do. Now, c’mon. Isn’t there a party for us to attend?”

Cosima grinned at him. She didn’t know what she would have done without Scott Smith.

..........

Dancing wasn’t how she expected the night to go. She thought about the night when she was really sick, what felt like eons ago, when she first danced with her sestras, and how she thought it would be her last. She didn’t think she would be here. Dancing as everyone watched her. Dancing like she was art herself.

Delphine was there, watching, smiling. Cosima was smiling too. There was something infectious about the blonde’s dimpled smile that made the scientist forget every bad thing that happened between them.

Delphine was still smiling when Cosima found her, slightly drunken by the dance, her head still spinning.

“You look beautiful,” Delphine stated in a voice that usually makes Cosima shudder. “Even more than usual.”

“Well, thank you. Not being deathly ill helps, ya know?”

Delphine chuckled. “You have always been beautiful to me, ma chérie. You look happy. Free.”

“I am. I don’t know if we’re quite free yet, but it feels that way. Sarah’s not convinced, but that’s Sarah.”

Delphine stopped smiling and frowned. “Sarah’s very intuitive.”

Cosima sighed. “I’m sorry I’m being so… annoying with the whole me and you thing. You deserve better.”

Delphine shook her head. “You deserve to understand your heart, Cosima. That is the most important thing. When I understood mine, understood my love and devotion for you, everything else made sense. I can wait.”

“I love you for that.” Cosima leaned in and kissed her before Felix pulled them apart.

“Clone swap. Sarah’s here.”

Cosima groaned. “Bummer. Do I have to leave?”

Felix rolled his eyes and tugged her arm. “For me, you will. So quit snogging and come on.”

“Wait, Cosima!” Delphine shouted and pulled out a piece of paper and handed it to her. “Siobhan asked me to give this to you.”

Cosima raised an eyebrow but didn’t think much of it. “Oh. Okay. I’ll see you later, Delphine.”

As Felix pulled her away, he muttered to her, “You two are cheeky. The ‘will they, won’t they’ thing is getting tiring though. Lesbians."

“Hey! Delphine’s bisexual! And you love me!” Cosima shouted when she was out the door.

“Of course I do, darling,” Felix replied with a toothy smile and blew her a kiss. “Send in Sarah.”

Cosima gave him a thumbs up and waited for Sarah to come up. She heard the punk’s footsteps and the sound of Adele’s constant jabbering.

“Sarah!” Cosima shouted once she saw the girl who didn’t look like she was attending an art show. “Felix is in there. He’s going to--”

“Have you seen S?” Sarah interrupted her, her eyes going back and forth like she was begging for something. Anything.

“No, but I--”

Sarah walked away with Adele mouthing apologies behind her. Cosima stood there and looked around. She was left alone.

.............

The Rabbit Hole was unusually quiet without anyone there. She thought about smoking a joint or going to sleep, but Delphine had appeared like a knight in shining armor, holding the proof to everything. The proof that could end everything.

“Loaded and ready to send to all the regulatory and oversight committees in the affected countries. As well as to old journalist friends of Siobhan at the guardian.”

“You guys did this for us.” It wasn’t a question. Cosima knew the answer. Everyone who had helped them along the way did it for them. Felix, Siobhan, Delphine, Scott, Art. The list only continued from there.

And more than that, it was Delphine who kept her promise in the end. She loved all of them. All the sestras. It made Cosima’s heart swell.

“You’re ready?”

“Just a second.”

Cosima stared at the screen and thought about freedom. About what she’d do with her freedom. How she would live without being property. Without being afraid or being sick or losing anyone else.

She turned to look at Delphine. Delphine. Who was here in this moment with her. Smiling, itching to press enter. Cosima loved her. It wasn’t a mundane kind of love that just anyone could find. It was the kind of beating love that had, at one point, felt alive.

Cosima gently used Delphine’s pointer finger to press enter. It submitted and the world felt like it dropped.

They laughed. They couldn’t imagine how it could all end with just the simple press of a button when everything else had been so difficult for them.

So difficult. For all of them. They lost Katja. Beth. Paul. MK. Kendall. Cosima cried. She wished that the dead could experience this moment with her. She wished that this had come sooner. Before anyone got kidnapped or got hurt or got murdered. She wished this submission turned back the time.

Delphine held her together. She promised her love and comfort and happiness. Cosima believed her. Despite not being able to always trust the blonde, she felt the words inside her bones. She was going to be okay.

When she pulled herself together, she remembered the note inside her pocket. Siobhan. Cosima knew that they wouldn’t have had this information if it hadn’t been for her. She opened it.

Cosima,

I never got to thank you for taking care of my Sarah. She’s a good girl but doesn’t know how to voice the things she wants. Protect her for me, will you? You have enough strength for both of you.

You are a bright woman, chicken. Always remember to see the light.

Siobhan.

Cosima stared at the elegant letters and felt her heart drop. There was something wrong with this letter. It seemed like a goodbye. Or an ending or…

Her phone rang. Felix.

.............

There was police tape in front of the house. It looked wrong there. Cops were exiting the house, but it seemed like Art was in charge. She exhaled with relief. Art was in charge.

“Cosima!” The detective called out and she ran toward him immediately. He looked angry and disheveled up close. “Keep your head down. Cops are all over the place. They just questioned Felix. They think it was a home invasion gone wrong. I’m going to make sure that’s what they keep thinking.”

“Who—?”

“Ferdinand. He’s also dead. The bodies are already out of the house but… Sarah hasn’t moved. Or said a thing. Or cried. Felix is the opposite. He’s also inside with Adele.”

Cosima wiped away the tears that were falling. “She did this for us, didn’t she?”

Art nodded almost stoically. “One of the bravest people I know. Look, I’d go see Sarah but--”

“No, you have enough to handle. I’ll call you if something changes.”

He nodded gratefully and walked away, commanding cops away from the premises. Art was trying to get outsiders as far away from the house as possible.

Cosima took a shaky breath and walked slowly toward the entrance of the house. She only had to knock on the door once for it to open. Felix stood there, his shirt soaked with tears, and pulled her into a hug as they both sobbed onto each other’s shoulders.

None of this felt real. They had lost people before, but she never thought they would lose S. Their rock. The woman who protected them and opened a whole family up to love.

“I’m so sorry,” Cosima repeated over and over again into Felix’s ear.

Once he pulled away and closed the door, he apologized. “We were supposed to vacate the house, but Art helped us out.”

“How’s Sarah?”

Felix looked far away. “I don’t know how much of Sarah is left.”

..................

“She screamed for a good long while when we first got here,” Felix explained as Adele put the mugs of tea in front of both of them. “She kept tryin’ to resuscitate her. They had to drag her away to get S’… Sarah hasn’t moved since.”

From her chair, Cosima stared at Sarah who was rocking slightly, her hands on her head and staring at the blood on the ground. She was covered with it herself.

“Have you called anyone else?”

“Alison. They’ll come round in the morning. Benjamin’s coming too. Said he wanted to… clean it all up. Delphine?”

“I told her to stay at the Rabbit Hole. She wanted to come with me but I thought…” Cosima felt like throwing up. “What happened?”

Felix gulped. “Guessin’ Ferdinand wasn’t too happy about us getting the file. I’m betting that Rachel used him.”

“Siobhan took a bullet for us.”

“You were her family,” Adele pointed out, less drunk than she was during the party. “Of course she did. God bless. What a woman.”

“What do we do about Sarah?”

Felix stared at his broken sister and muttered, “Who the bloody hell knows?”

.................

Cosima didn't remember much about the next few days.

What she did remember was staying up all night and hoping that Sarah would get up and go to sleep.

She remembered falling asleep on Felix’s shoulder and waking up to a bare floor and Sarah’s closed door.

She remembered getting up and bringing Sarah tea as Felix talked to people about a funeral and signing papers and the will.

She remembered seeing Benjamin and a bunch of men cleaning the floor.

She remembered Alison and Felix sobbing in the kitchen.

She remembered refusing to talk to Delphine, angry that Delphine hadn’t told anyone about their “deal” with Rachel and Ferdinand.

She remembered forcing Sarah to drink water and eat while trying to remember to do the same.

She remembered Felix’s frustration at his sister’s emptiness and trying to calm him down and remind him that grief hit people differently.

Sarah had only said two words before Kira came home. Two nights after Siobhan’s death, Cosima opened Sarah’s bedroom door and found the woman shivering under the covers. Without thinking, she crawled into the bed with her. She put her warm hands around her and pulled her close, hoping it would make Sarah feel alive again.

Cosima placed kisses on her cheeks, her forehead, her neck, her lips. She thought that Sarah would do something, anything. Even if it was a command for her to stop. And maybe, though Cosima wouldn’t want to admit it, she kissed her because she wanted the comfort too. She wanted the taste of Sarah’s skin on her lips. A reminder that she was alive too. Something.

She delicately held Sarah’s pointer finger and traced it over her tattoo and whispered to her the beauty of science, of the cycle of life and death.

“The shell was once inhabiting life, but it becomes empty It always does. To us, it’s more beautiful. Fossilized and demanding of our attention. The end isn’t always the end.”

She thought Sarah wasn’t listening. That was, until she said, “Thanks, ‘Sima.” It was the opposite of her usual nickname. She liked ‘Cos’ more.

But it Kira made her mom come back to life. Art brought her over and Felix and Adele had explained to the young girl about Siobhan’s death, about Sarah’s darkness. Kira cried into her uncle’s shirt but then pointed out how they needed to be strong for her mom.

“Monkey,” Sarah breathed out in a raspy voice after not using it for so long. “I’m so sorry, monkey.”

The two hugged for what seemed like hours. With Kira in her arms, Sarah was able to help Felix with the funeral and wake. They planned it quickly (decided on doing it the next day), not wanting to have to deal with it any longer. Cosima understood why she couldn’t be there, but it still hurt. She wanted to say goodbye to Siobhan and be there for Sarah.

“You can go back to the Rabbit Hole,” Felix whispered as the two of them watched Kira and Sarah fall asleep on the couch. His voice was colder than it had been. Like something has changed. “We’ve got this, now.”

“Felix…?”

He sat up straighter and turned to her. “You’re makin’ it worse. You know that, don’t you?”

Cosima didn’t know what he was talking about. “What?”

“Love, you don’t really think I don’t know what’s goin’ on, do you? What you’re doing in Sarah’s bedroom at night? You’re confusing her. Messing with her.”

Tears sprung to her eyes. “Fee…”

“You have Delphine. Your girlfriend. The French blonde that made you almost put a bleeding bot in your mouth. Don’t let Sarah think that she’s the only one that matters because we both know that’s not true.”

Shame radiated through Cosima’s body. He was right. She wasn’t being fair to Sarah or her feelings. Cosima felt something and as a scientist, she wanted to explore it. She didn’t even consider the possibility that Sarah… felt even a fraction of what she felt for her.

“I know. It’s complicated. It’s not… I love Delphine. But I feel something--”

“No.” Felix interrupted and put a hand on Cosima’s shoulder. “No, this is not the time, Cosima, for you to experiment with your feelings. Sarah’s a person, not a lab rat. And she’s already vulnerable. Don’t do this to her.”

Some crazy part of her thought Felix would understand. That all she’d have to do was explain that she felt something for both of them, while incredibly different, and wanted to understand both feelings.

Felix glowered at her. “I don’t want you to mess with her. Even if she wants it because I know she does. Unless you’re done with Delphine, like really done with her, I don’t want you to be snogging her, touching her. Got it?”

Cosima nodded. Felix was just trying to protect his sister and she understood that. And she knew that this was wrong and unfair to both Sarah and Delphine, but she couldn’t help her feelings. Not when they were this strong and overwhelming.

She agreed to put a halt on anything that could resemble romance with Sarah. She just didn’t know how long she could last with the pause.

-------------------

let me know if you want me to add you to the tags! :) thanks for reading!

[myonlystorm]

Together

Thank you so much to @lazyvoyager for inspiring me and lending your precious boy to me to write!! Illain is so sweet and I really hope I did him justice as he gets to meet my own apprentice “Katja Wind”!

I had not been here long, before he came in. Though the wait beforehand had simply been cruel. The heat, which should have been welcome in these chillier times, was a stark reminder of where I was. Of what was going to happen, and not just to me, but to all the plagued people. Including the poor boy the doctor's helpers had shoved in here. I suspect we were the last ones, at the end of this long day since they weren't supposed to put more than one of us in at a time, but I suspect it was neither the first, nor last time it would happen... and I tried not to focus on what being in here meant. What the heat meant... 

Having oriented himself with the small dark room we were in, he looked at me briefly before sitting on the floor next to me. Even for a half-elf, I had not lived long, but I suspect he and I were close in age. He was, of course, no elf, his ears round and slender, but his beautiful sunrise orange hair would have most certainly earned him a place in an elven palace had he ever wished to be there. Not that it would matter much now. Looking at him, he was frightened, although his face was desperately trying not to show it, but when his eyes met mine, I knew for certain. Neither of us wanted to die. I felt more than saw the tears rising in both our eyes. The steam from where some of them landed on the floor a painful and stark reminder. I wish I had words to comfort him. But I could only think of one thing to say. "My name was Ekaterina. I don't know why I know that, I've always been Katja, but I suddenly realized it and had to tell someone. It happened to be you." He smiles at me a little awkwardly, and perhaps it was the soft tears in his eyes, but his eyes looked more gold than brown, reminding me briefly of my friend Nemarin... Who had died less than a week ago, likely the same way we soon would. The red surrounding his gold-ish eyes was the telltale invitation to our "exclusive lounge". He looked at me, wiping his tears, refusing to look at the ground, with its telltale mist, "My name is Illain, and all I'd wanted to do was help people, and I'm glad that you told me, even if it was just by chance. It was nice to meet you, Ekaterina." 

We're silent and sit on the floor awhile, before a commotion sounds from outside, shouts and startled screams, as something runs through the building. There's growling and suddenly a scratching at our door. "Scared!" I hear her, pawing at my door. Elentiya, my beautiful snow leopard familiar. My lifetime friend. I don't question how she got here. She yowls louder, pawing the door, desperate. "Scared!!" She repeats. And I know its been too long since our magicks have been together, for her normally long eloquent speeches had been reduced to frightened, single word responses. I want to go to the door, to let her feel nearer to me so that maybe I might calm her, but my legs had stopped working long ago. I don't know what to do. It's the last time I'll be near her and I can't focus. I don't know how to help her. I can't fight her fear anymore, because I too am afraid. I hear the workers becoming frustrated, unsure of how to make her leave. She is not overly large for a snow leopard, but she is still dangerous to a human at her size with teeth and claws and fast reflexes. I know if she stays much longer, she will be in danger. Which means. I know what I must ask of her. "Elentiya." I tell myself that my voice is steady and for a moment I believe it. "Elentiya, go home." I pause, making sure she's heard me. "Go to Asra." There's more scratching at the door. "No! Scared!" I cover my face, speaking as loudly, and stoically as I can. "Elentiya this is an order. Go home, my love. Live." And I feel the magic snap, weak as I am, it snaps in place. And the scratching stops.

 "Come?" She's paused by the door. But I can't, and I can't lie to her. "Go." Its all I can say. And when I can no longer hear her, I start to sob. It couldn't have been long, but it felt like forever before I shoved the sobbing back into my throat, shushing it. The heat was becoming uncomfortable. I couldn't help but shut my eyes, everything was so blurry with the tears, but I look up at Illain and smile the best that I can, "I'm sorry to impose, and, I know its an odd and perhaps inappropriate request but, may, may I perhaps, be allowed to braid your hair?" He looks confused at first, and then a sort of bewildered smile appears on his face, the shadows highlighting his freckles. "Sure?" He scoots to sit in front me, pushing all his hair back for me to reach, and I realize how much his actions are sluggish, and recall how he had winced more than once when trying to sit down. The plague had hit him hard, I note, and it was a wonder he was still here... Though I suppose neither of us would be for much longer... I tried to ignore that thought, shutting it out of my mind. 

His hair was soft as I held it, despite the tangles, and though they posed little problem overall, tears leaked harder from my eyes when it became obvious that I would not be able to braid his gorgeous hair. I rested my forehead against his back, trying not to let him hear me cry. He was quiet at first, but I suspect the wetness on his back gave it away. "I- um. This may be a silly question," he started, a wobble in his voice, "but, may I as to why you're crying?" I couldn't help it. A small laugh escaped my lips. I hadn't meant to. But I wasn't able to stop it in time. "I will never get to braid or brush the hair of my beloved. Never take the time to hum as I gently untangle any tricky loose hairs that get in the way of the brush. Never feel them braid flowers in my hair on our wedding night... I always thought I'd have time to do those things." He blushes slightly at the beginning, realizing what I'd asked of him, before his shoulders droop slightly realizing my all words entirety, "And then when you and I arrived here, together rather than alone like most, I thought I could at least do it to comfort you, while also completing one of my life's dreams-" my words start to come out strangled, caught between wanting to scream and sobbing, but like my tears, they continue to flow, practically falling from my lips, "but I can't even do that!" I laugh softly, gently running my fingers down the ends of his hair. "Can you feel it?" I can't even look him in the eye. I keep my face planted against his back and hold out my hands from behind him. "Look at them." They're trembling horrendously, and I can hardly move the fingers individually. I drop my arms down, but I no longer had the strength to pull them all the way back to my body. The floor had gotten much hotter. 

"I can't tell if it is the fear or the plague anymore.." My voice sounds so small. I hate it. I had always meant to be helpful to others, offering calm, and kindness. I regret not being able to live up to those ideals in my final moments, but the realization was hitting me hard. I was going to die. Right here. With him. Soon. Very soon. The tears had yet to stop pouring, and I couldn't help the hiccups that squeaked out from me. Illain turns to look at me, and his face mirrors my own, tear-soaked, and terrified, "I'm sorry," he starts, "I'm so sorry. For you and for me. I'm so sorry this is how it, ends." His voice cracks on the last word. "I hope if nothing else, we helped someone in the past, but I'm grateful, truly grateful, that we can help each other now." The floor is beginning to singe both of us where it makes contact with us. It's only then, of course, I realize it. I've seen this boy before I realize, Asra had introduced us. He's facing me now, and neither of us hide our tears. He holds out his arms to me, in request, or more accurately it seemed, seeking permission. The heat starts to get suffocating. My eyes are blurring and though the tears are large, I doubt it is the cause now. I pull Illain, the sweet, kind apprentice, into the first and last hug of this life of mine, and we hold each other fiercely. 

We continued to do so, even long after we had stopped feeling anything at all. 

If nothing else, we had not died alone.

[latenghts]

okay so i have a lot of stuff to reply to, but minus going out tomorrow night i’m free all weekend. so, woo ! with that being said, while my wishlist is loaded, there’s some specific plots i really want for some muses. so just throwing this out into the universe

i really want a muse for marty. someone that he's fascinated with and sees in almost everything around him. someone that inspires him and his art starts to mirror pieces of them. whether it be someone he’s got a shallow eye for and thinks is the most beautiful person to walk the earth, or someone that’s captured his heart, or the most turbulent relationship that keeps him up at night and unlocks the pain artists thrive off. i want an artist/muse plot with him so bad, 

i want a political rival plot for sebastian...really fucking bad. au where their parents are campaigning against each other for the same position whether it be president or senator or governor. and just forbidden love, or even lust. maybe they’re not even in love but they hooked up once without realizing who the other is and now that they know they have no intention on stopping. i’m down for either, but give me betrayal & secrecy. 

i really want a social media couple plot for jules. he’s a travel vlogger so maybe a lot of it is long distance and whenever they’re together they post cute, cheesy ass videos fan die for. maybe they travel together all the time and their whole channel is based off exploring the world together and their socials are full of pictures in cute ass places and just couple goals..on that note though, maybe to the media they appear as if couple goals but behind the scenes the relationship is barely hanging on but the couple image gets views and they know that...see where i’m going here. there’s a lot we could do with this.

on another note of jules though. give me someone who makes him want to stay. someone he meets on his travels that keeps him in one destination longer than he intended and before you know it a matter of days turns into weeks, then months, and he no longer has any intention of leaving any time soon. and just a cute, soft curve ball life’s thrown at him. again though, bet we can spice this up and throw in some angst. maybe person he’s eyeing is already in a relationship. or maybe they’re not as into him as he is them.

give me a criminal for denver...because maybe i’m a walking fucking cliche but i just want my soft fucking cop to fall for a fucking criminal and use those cuffs for something else.

give me someone from alex’s hometown, maybe one of his only friends he had growing up, that he left behind without saying a word as he running so desperately from his past. give me that angst that accompanies abandoning the only person who would’ve never abandoned you and trying so desperately to win them back.

for wyatt i really want the cliche plot that follows just about any guy that peaked in high school. where the tables turn and the once popular boy now has a think for the girl they either picked on in high school or never gave the time of day but now the girl is thriving and has the upper hand.

i really want a musician / fan or groupie plot for any lonny, augie, or angel where they’ve either got a favorite groupie they catch at a lot of shows and hookup with on the regular but they don’t put a label on it. or a long distance relationship with a fan they met on tour where they send them cute texts after shows and get them backstage in their hometown and fly them out when they can. maybe they met at a meet & greet or a bar after one of their shows.

give me an exes plot with katja, please !! my baby doesn’t know how to fully let go and i wanna play with that more. maybe they’re exes that just ran into each other after an extended time apart. or maybe they’re exes trying to maintain a friendship fresh out of a breakup because they don’t want to entirely lose the other but it’s harder than it seems. maybe they’ve been broken up for a while and have a strong friendship so they decide to move in together again since it worked out well when they were still together but quickly realize it throws off the vibe as it’s not the same, and wait, you’re seeing someone else ? why do i care, it’s been years, of course you’re gonna see someone else. i don’t know, give me angst for her. PLEASE.

please give me someone as quirky and cute as aislynn and just a happy, gay relationship. like i love angst, way too fucking much honestly, but i want to see a thriving, strong, happy lesbian couple and she’s the muse i really want it with. that’s all.

please give me a dirtbag muse for paisley that drags her even further from the pristine image her parents had spent eighteen years carefully trying to mold. someone that sparks the adrenaline inside her and drags her head first into the chaos. maybe further than she was expecting or even ready for. maybe they make her miss the safety of the cookie cutter life her parents crafted. depends how far you wanna go with this or if you just want two kids rebelling for fun.

GIVE DAHLIA A SUGAR DADDY OR MAMA !!

shane and ryan from buzzfeed unsolved dynamic for amelia, please !! someone equally as curious in the paranormal and cold cases as her that loves to talk about them and research them with her. and like they fr think they’re gonna crack a decade old case that no cop in the world can or get a demon to scream at them in a house.

POWER COUPLE !! for marley please. she’s a perfectionist at it’s finest and i really want a power couple dynamic or maybe even a power struggle dynamic. maybe something like chuck and blair with a lot of back and forth and toxicity.

speaking of toxic, i really want and on & off again turbulent relationship for rory that never really ends no matter how much she swears she’s done with them and threatens to burn their stuff & how much they hurt her and vice versa. just really fucking young and chaotic energy. not really sure how to love or how to let go.

I WANT A BEST FRIENDS TO LOVERS PLOT FOR ISAIAH BECAUSE HE DESERVES IT.

and i think that’s a wrap for now but i’ll probably make another post like this soon maybe because i’m trash. ty for coming to my ted talk & hmu if any of these interest you.

[s-nebul0sa]

Just for that I have to work and can't go outside. Every even number 😄 have fun in the sun

🖕🏼🖕🏼😘😘 Thanks for asking

2. A picture of me:

You know it’s not gonna happen. So here is a very realistic and life-like drawing of me I totally did not make in 2 minutes time on my phone without any pencil thing or anything. My actual face is not as crooked I think. (And paler. I just compared and less reddish/pink)

4. Last time I cried and why?

Err.. I think maybe Sunday? Because I was anxious and wouldn’t stop being anxious. Otherwise, definitely Friday because same reason plus I was reading a fic.

6. Favourite band:

Omg I know nothing of bands. What are bands? Uhhmm I’ll pick the first one that comes to mind. When I look at my spotify playlist because I can’t come up with anything. I’m terrible at this okay. Is pentatonix a band? If not, sucks for you cause I’m still picking them.

8. Top 5 candies:

Black liquorice (look, I’m Dutch, don’t blame me, this stuff is in my veins. And yes, I mean the salty versions because we ignore that fake ‘sweet’ shit (unless it’s the coins version))

Haribo apple rings

Haribo anything else really

Lion bars

Katja yoghurt gums 

10. Biggest turn ons:

As if I’m self aware enough to know this… Fine. I’ll try 😋

Geeking out over stuff. Being excited about ‘nerdy’ stuff. Red lipstick. Being interested in me. Breathing/being alive.

I think that’s some of them probably.

12. Ideas of a perfect date:

Something where you can talk or not have to sit still for hours. I’ve never been on a date actually so I don’t know what I like. But like, talking seems good. Getting to know each other. But on the other hand, laser gaming sounds fun too. So something that’s either fun like laser gaming or laid back like a picnic.

14. Piercings I want:

None. I have pierced ears and I don’t even want that anymore (got them pierced when I was a kid and really wanted it…)

16. Favourite movie:

I think I’ve said this before but I’m not good with ‘favourite’ anything. So err the parent trap? Because I think that’s the movie I’ve seen most and it does always manage to entertain me even though I know the plot by heart.

18. Phobia:

I’m not sure if these are phobias or fears but: the dark, heights, fire…. and probably some more vague/not as material shit like losing friends.

20. Height: 

167.5 cm (yes, very important that 0.5 cm)

22. What’s your shoe size?

39

24. Do you smoke, drink, or take any drugs?

Nope

26. What’s one thing you regret?

I don’t like to think about this stuff because I end up in a spiral of negative thoughts and memories I cannot change. So I’ll keep it simple. Not buying better ice cream when I went to the store the other day. 

28. Favourite ice cream?

Italian ice cream from the one ice cream place in the village my mom works. Specifically, cinnamon and stracciatella flavour.

30. What my last text message says:

“I think I’m getting a real bad cold. Or ill. I hope the first.” (This is a translation, also not a text but whatsapp is the European/Dutch equivalent of texting these days)

32. Have you ever painted your room?

Yes, I didn’t like the unpainted walls because that’s ugly so I didn’t really have another option. Also, I think it was one of the requirements for moving in here. 

34. Have you ever slept naked?

I have, when it was really really hot.

36. Have you ever had a crush?

Yes, I think. Okay, no. Yes, I’m pretty sure.

38. Have you ever stolen money from a friend?

No, never.

40. Have you ever been in a fist fight?

Not really. I’ve punched someone before but I don’t think they hit back (I punched her in the face and she had braces and apparently that hurt…)

42. Have you ever had feelings for someone who didn’t have them back?

To be determined.

44. Have you ever made out with a stranger?

No

46. Have you ever left your house without telling your parents?

I do it all the time. Badass, huh. Or do you mean when I was a minor and living with them? In that case, no I didn’t dare.

48. Have you ever ditched school to do something more fun?

No, I was too much of a goody-two-shoes.

50. Have you ever seen someone die?

No, thank Rao.

52. Have you ever kissed a picture?

I’m pretty sure I had to do that in play once (just a peck). Don’t think I ever did it myself ‘in real life’ though.

54. Have you ever love someone or miss someone right now?

That’s one weirdly worded question. At least, my brain thinks so. But I’m not currently missing someone and I don’t get the other half…

56. Have you ever made a snow angel?

Yes, many.

58. Have you ever cheated while playing a game?

I was the sorest loser you’ll ever meet when I was a kid and I cheated all the time to avoid losing. I’d be the bank in all the games that needed someone to take care of that and then slip myself money or resources. 😂😂 I don’t cheat anymore, I just don’t play to win and then I don’t mind not winning.

60. Have you ever fallen asleep at work/school?

I’ve fallen asleep waiting for someone to come study while I was sitting at uni, but that was tucked away in a corner of a couch that was behind another couch with a super high back so no one saw me except my friend. Other than that, I don’t think I have.

62. Have you ever felt an earthquake?

I don’t think I have.

64. Have you ever ran a red light?

By bike, many a times. By car? Never.

66. Have you ever had detention?

Not a thing here, so no.

68. Have you ever hated the way you look?

Yes, often.

70. Have you ever pole danced?

Yes. I sucked. The muscles you need for that man… 

Want some context? It was during the introduction week for uni and we got to do some sports at the sports centre and every group was just assigned which sports they got to do. We got assigned pole dancing (and some others).

72. Have you ever been to the opposite side of the country?

Depends on what you define as opposite. I have been to the opposite side of where I live now and I guess also kind of from my parents. But my country is super tiny so I’ve been in most (general) places….

74. Have you ever cried yourself to sleep?

I have

76. Have you ever done something you told yourself you wouldn’t?

Definitely.

78. Have you ever slept with someone at least 5 years older or younger?

No

80. Have you ever sang in the shower?

Yes

82. Have you ever dreamt that you married someone?

I once dreamt I had a husband who passed away (and woke up sobbing only to realise a solid 10 minutes later I had never even married someone, nor liked someone enough to want to). 

84. Have you ever gotten your tongue stuck to a flag pole?

Are flag poles so prevalent in the U.S. that you actually know where to find one to get your tongue stuck to? Also, did they never teach you about touching cold objects with bare skin, especially wet skin like the tongue?

86. Have you ever been a cheerleader?

Also not a thing here, so no. And if it were a thing here, it’d also be a no probably.

88. Have you ever brushed your teeth?

Rao, I hope no one ever answers ‘no’ to this question. (So that’s a ‘yes’ for me.)

90. Have you ever played chicken?

What is this? Just pretend that you’re a chicken? Or is this some game I don’t know? It’s no to either I guess.

92. Have you ever been told you’re hot by a complete stranger?

I’ve probably been shouted at something along those lines. I mean, I’ve also been shouted at I got ‘nice tits’ whilst wearing a thick winter coat and a long scarf over it so I doubt it was even visible I had them in the first place…. Men… 🙄

94. Have you ever been easily amused?

I guess? 

96. Have you ever mooned/flashed someone?

I probably mooned my sister. But to be fair, someone allowed this Asian cartoon on a kids network and that boy mooned everyone so my sister started doing it too. I can only assume that if I ever mooned anyone myself, it was in this context and I did it to my sister. (That cartoon got banned and I watched some stuff on youtube the other day and damn what idiot thought that was appropriate for kids?!)

98. Have you ever forgotten someone’s name?

Yes, especially when being introduced to many new people. 

100. Give us one thing about you that no one knows.

I don’t know whether this exists (except if I don’t know this thing about me either). I talk about wanting a pet but I’m also kinda scared of animals?

[potentiallymrsdevorak]

In Fields of Flowers (The Arcana)

Chapter 4: Sweet Peas (Goodbye)

Pairing: Julian x Nijah

Summary: Nijah doesn’t lose just one, but two important people in her life.

Word Count: ~7100

Author’s Note: ok I don’t usually write sad things but here we go...if you know me from my old content you would know. We discuss some really heavy things in this chapter so if that is something triggering, please be cautious as you go through. I also added trigger warnings just in case. If you want to ask me the kind of things I have in this story before you read, feel free to shoot a message! 

Anyways I compiled a sad songs playlist to get you all in the sad mood:

Theme Schindler’s List - 2 Cellos (the original is just as good tho I just love these men)

Adagio for Strings - Samuel Barber

Elegy in C Minor - Fauré

Dives and Lazarus - Ralph Vaughn Williams

Symphony 5, mvmt. 3 - Shostakovich

Tagging: @drunkenomnist, @rromanovv, @juliandevoraknsfw (sorry in advance)

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Nijah had a million thoughts running through her mind, and yet, there was not one she could pin down.

It was no doubt that it was Selene sitting in front of her. The dark, curly shoulder-length hair bounced as she tilted her head and smiled. Her womanly figure could not be hidden underneath her shapeless potato sack like dress, given to all patients at the Lazaret. She even had the birthmark on the inside of her elbow that all the boys in elementary school would make fun of her for. If it wasn’t Selene, then someone must be a very good magician.

So Nijah’s best friend had the plague. She didn’t know exactly how, but she was here now. But there was no cure to the plague, so she would be dead in a matter of days. And there was nothing Nijah could do about it.

Should I tell her who I am? She wondered, then immediately shook the idea away. No, I can’t. 

She would never forgive me if she learned I couldn’t save her.

Finally, Nijah reached out her own hand to meet Selene’s. “It’s nice to meet you, Selene.” She replied, hoping the mask was able to muffle her voice a little bit, hiding her identity even further. “So, do you know exactly how you got the plague?” She took out a scroll of paper and a quill already coated in ink.

“Well, I can’t say I know for sure.” She confessed. “I’ve been traveling all over the place with this new guy of mine, but once we get back to Vesuvia, of course I catch this stupid bug.” She rubbed her inflamed eyes, the intensified redness pulling on Nijah’s heartstrings.

“I see. And how long had you been in Vesuvia before you noticed the symptoms?”

“About a day. We had just returned from visiting Nevivion. And when I noticed them, it was almost like the whole town already knew. I was quarantined and sent away to this island. I didn’t even get to say goodbye…”

“I’m sure he is missing you quite a bit.” Nijah finished her notes and stuffed the paper back in her jacket. “Well, we will begin treatment tomorrow morning, Miss Selene. I hope you get a good night’s sleep…” She began walking away towards the door.

“Wait!”

Nijah stopped in her tracks, turning only her head around. “Yes?”

“Do you know if a girl named Nijah Horvat works as an apprentice here?”

She paused, biting her lip so she could hold back the truth. “She has been moved to another facility.” She lied, nearly gritting her teeth as a wave of sadness overflowed her senses. She got the feeling this wouldn’t be the only time she would lie to her.

“Aw, that’s too bad. Have a good night, doc!”

“You too, Miss Selene.” And with that, Nijah shut the door behind her.

As Nijah was preparing for bed, she felt Katja’s arm around her upper back. It was strangely comforting, yet unexpected.

“Hey there, feeling any better?” She squeezed her tight, cracking something in Nijah’s back.

“Oof!” Nijah called out, reaching up to rub her shoulder. “Ah...not really. We’ll just have to see how it goes again in the morning.”

“Okay, how was your new patient?”

“Umm...she’s nice.” Nijah said. “I think she won’t cause me many problems.”

“That’s good!” Katja smiled. “I just got this older man, and he is the worst. Already asking when he can leave! And we haven’t even started treatment yet!”

Nijah tried to listen to Katja ramble on about her new patient, but the fact that her best friend would be dying under her hands kept her unable to focus on anything else. All their memories came flooding over her as she smiled and nodded her head, pretending she was all there in the conversation. But really, her heart was breaking and she felt like she wanted to do nothing but run and hide from the Lazaret, from the world, from everything and everyone.

Unfortunately for her, that wasn’t about to happen.

Nijah unlocked the door to room 187, carting a warm plate of breakfast and multiple medical devices. She picked up a few extra medicines from Julian as well, new ones that he had discovered only recently. She was willing to try them, as long as she had a chance of survival.

“Good morning, miss. I brought you your breakfast.” She squinted inside the room, the only light source being a small window near the ceiling. Selene was already up and waiting.

“How did you know this was my favorite? Thank you!” She took the plate graciously, savoring the food as if it was her last meal. As she ate, Nijah prepared the materials necessary for her first treatment.

She took a glance over at her friend and realized the plague has already taken its toll on her body. She looked a little skinnier than she did the night before, the bags under her eyes a little more prominent. She looked malnourished, but by the way she was eating her food, anyone could be fooled that she was fine and healthy.

“We’re going to try multiple different methods to cure your plague,” Nijah began to explain, “First, I need you to keep this bag next to you at all times.” She dropped the tiny bag next to Selene’s spot on the cot. With graceful fingers, she picked up the bag and took a whiff.

“Mmm, these smell wonderful! I feel like I’m lying in a flower bed.” Selene complimented the mixture of petals. What kinds of flowers did you use?”

“Magnolias, freesias, violets, gardenias…” Nijah went on, remembering the exact flowers Dr. Satrinava had told her to use. Most of the other apprentices thought it was a dumb lesson, but Nijah imagined that it could be very useful to her someday.

“You know, my friend Nijah loves flowers. It’s not something she tells a lot of people, but she used to read books about gardening as a kid. She really was passionate about the meanings of different flowers. Sometimes she would drop off some at my house and wait for me to figure out what they meant. But her parents wanted her to study the violin, so she didn’t ever find the time...oh, silly me.” She waved her hand, pushing away her commentary like it was nothing. “I know you don’t care as much. I apologize for boring you.”

Behind her mask, Nijah smiled bitterly as she mixed an herbal concoction. She was surprised that Selene remembered that far back. She must have been nine years old at that time. “No, it’s okay. You can tell me whatever you like. I don’t mind.”

She saw a wave of relief cross over her face. “Oh, thank goodness. I just miss her a lot, is all...it’s been nearly two months since I’ve seen her. Asra and I have tried to write to her, but every time we do, our letter gets sent back to us.”

“And who is Asra?”

“Oh, probably the most wonderful man I have ever met, doctor.” She swooned, fanning herself with the bag of flower petals. “I met him at the masquerade. Have you ever been?”

“Can’t say I have.”

“It was such a grand time! The whole castle was open and decorated in the most beautiful things. I was setting up Nijah with another man at the time...but I turned the corner in the ballroom and accidentally bumped into him. It was the most embarrassing thing!”

“I bet.” Nijah interjected. “Before you go on, can you drink this for me?” She held a cup of a thick, odd smelling liquid in front of Selene. She took it and looked at it skeptically.

“What’s this supposed to do?”

“Get rid of any aches and pains you might have.”

Shrugging, Selene threw the drink back, gulping the fluids back rather loudly as she finished it off. As she swallowed the last bit, a shiver ran through her body, but it passed as quickly as it came.

“Disgusting...but I think it helped. Thank you, doc!” She smiled, handing back the cup to Nijah.

Nijah knew that smile well. It was the fake smile, when she was trying to deceive others into believing everything was okay. It was a clear fact that she didn’t like it, but maybe she didn’t think it would actually help her. Either way, Nijah was happy that she was at least trying to stay positive for her sake.

“Anyways,” Selene continued, “I ran into him as I walked into the ballroom. But he played it off so well, pretending that I was an old friend or something like that. His masquerade costume was so beautiful, but when he took the mask off, he was even more gorgeous. He has the most beautiful shade of lavender eyes, stark white hair…”

Nijah briefly remembered seeing him at the masquerade, right before Julian and her were about to approach the two. So that’s who she’s run off with…

“...but one of the coolest things about him is that he’s a magician! He showed me so many cool tricks, read my tarot cards…”

Suddenly, something in Nijah’s stomach pulled. Hard.

“Oh, you’ll have to excuse me for a moment, miss…” She ran out into the hallway as she slid her mask off, hoping to make it to the bathroom before whatever was churning in her stomach made its way out. Unfortunately, it decided it had to come out in the middle of the hallway, directly in front of Dr. Satrinava.

“Doctor 187! Are you all right?!” Nijah was bent over on the floor, her hands resting over her stomach. Dr. Satrinava took their glove off and rested their hand on her forehead. “You don’t feel like you have the plague…”

Nijah wiped the ends of her mouth and stood to her feet. “I’m fine, I promise. I’m sorry about this...mess.”

Satrinava looked at her through their mask suspiciously, resting their hands on their hips. “Wait a moment. Didn’t Dr. Devorak tell you to get some rest?”

“Yes, but Valdemar vetoed that decision because we have so many patients.” Nijah shook her head, making her best attempt to stand up like nothing happened. “If you will excuse me, I have to return to mine right now.”

“All right...but if you need someone to take over for you, let me know. I don’t want to risk you getting infected.” Satrinava squeezed her shoulder. “And don’t worry about this mess. I’ll get Valdemar to clean it up.”

Nijah laughed a little bit, thinking of the odd doctor with a dirty rag and a bucket of water, trying their best to scrape every part of her puke off the floor. “Thanks, Doctor.”

The two part ways, and Nijah makes her way back into her patient’s room, securing her mask as she turned into the doorway. “Sorry about that, Selene, you may go on.”

“What happened out there? Are you okay?”

“I’m fine, just a little nausea…”

“That didn’t sound like normal nausea, hun.”

Nijah’s eyebrows raised as she faces Selene...not that she would be able to tell, of course. “What do you mean?”

“Do you have any other symptoms? Are you tired more often?”

“...yes.”

“Cramping down there?”

“A little bit, why do you ask?”

“Doc, you’re totally pregnant.”

At first, Nijah didn’t move. As the wave of realization hit her, she took a small step back. “There’s no way...”

“Trust me, I know. My mother had her youngest a few years ago. I was with her every step of the way.”

She’s right, Nijah remembered. Selene’s youngest brother was her mother’s most complicated pregnancy her mother had ever had, so of course Selene had to been around to help with the family as her mother dealt with her symptoms. Selene had grown up rather early, doing the household chores, cooking meals, and helping her other brothers with their studies beginning at the age of eleven.

But how could Selene tell? Every pregnancy was different, so it might just be a coincidence.

Then she realized that her cycle had come late. Too late.

Nijah cleared her throat and grabbed onto the cart. “Uhm...if you’ll excuse me…”

And without another word, Nijah rushed out of the room, holding back tears of sorrow.

I’m pregnant. I’m pregnant. I’m pregnant, Nijah thought over and over again.

She was standing in the bathroom of the apprentice’s wing, all alone. She looked in the full length mirror at her body as she chanted the mantra in her mind.

It would explain a lot. Her illness, how tired she had been feeling, even the mood swings she had begun to felt. She wasn’t ill at all, she just happened to be growing another human being inside of her.

Julian’s child.

Oh, hells, what will he do? What will he say? Will...will he still love me? She asked herself as her hands moved up to caress her stomach. She had no idea how far along she was. Was she one week? Two weeks? Eight weeks? Did their first time they ever had sex actually get her pregnant? She swore she felt a small bump, but that could also be her mind playing tricks on her.

There was no way she could support another life while living in the Lazaret. She would have to leave if they both were to survive.

If I don’t tell Julian now, then I never will, she told herself. Putting her plague mask on, she left the bathroom, mentally preparing herself for what could be the most heart breaking conversation she will ever have in her life.

“Dr. Devorak,” Nijah called out, banging on the door frantically. “Are you in?” She could feel herself sweating from nervousness from the inside of her uniform. She just hoped she didn’t smell too bad.

He opened the door quickly. “There you are, come in.” He ushered her in, showing her to a seat on the cot. As he sat down he ran his fingers through his hair, his other hand jotting down something unreadable. “You came just in time. I need to tell you something very important.”

“Me too…”

“Oh? By all means, you can share first.”

“No, I think it would be better if you were to tell me first.”

“If you insist…” Julian trailed off, setting down the quill in his hand as his head hung low to the floor. “Nijah, I’m being sent back to Vesuvia.”

“What?!” Nijah nearly jumped out of her seat in shock.

“Please, keep it down.” Julian shushed her as his eyes met hers for the first time, pressing his hand into her thigh to keep her steady. “Count Lucio wants me and Valdemar to go to the palace to work together on a cure for the plague. He apparently has another man who is knowledgeable about its origins, and if we combine forces, we could end the plague for good and cure the city.”

“That...that’s great, dear!” Nijah beamed. She took his hand in hers, squeezing it affectionately. “I’m glad they’re seeing how well you are as a doctor. I’m really happy for you.” She hoped he could see how excited she was for him.

“Thank you. I never knew that my hard work could get me to where I am...along with a little inspiration from you, Nijah.”

She was taken back a little bit by his compliment. “Me?”

“Yes, you.” He reiterated, getting down off of his seat and on his knees, in front of Nijah. “The biggest regret I will have about going to the castle is that I will be leaving you behind.” He brings her hands to his lips, kissing every individual finger.

“When are you leaving?”

“Tomorrow,” Julian said dejectedly, as if he wished he had more time. “Nijah...I want to make the most out of every moment I have with you. Please, can you spent one more night with me? I promise I will make it worthwhile.”

“I’ll do my best, Julian.” She replied, caressing his face in the palms of her hands, rubbing her thumbs across his cheekbones.

“Thank you, darling.” He kissed her hand, running his gloved fingers over her arms. “Did you still need to tell me something?”

Oh hells, if I told him now, she thought, then he might have more regrets than just leaving me behind. He might never want to leave the Lazaret, then we will both be stuck here forever...there’s no way he can know.

At least, not now.

“Oh, never mind, it wasn’t as important as I thought.” Nijah shook it off, leaning her forehead in to touch his own.

“If you say so...you’d never hide anything from me, right?” Julian looked into her eyes, trying to search her soul for her truth. She hoped and prayed he couldn’t find it this time.

“Of course not.” She lied. “I love you too much for that, Jules.”

He’ll forgive you when he learns you were only trying to help, she told herself as he leaned in for a tender kiss, letting all her dark thoughts fly out the window. Julian was hers, she was his, and at least they could enjoy the rest of their time together.

“Ugh, you’re going to give me that stuff again?”

Selene did not seem too enthusiastic that she had to drink the same thick liquid she consumed earlier that morning. Made with the top quality herbs in the lab, as well as a few extra chemicals, it was supposed to help patients reduce their pain, but Nijah took that claim with a grain of salt.

“Just take it, miss. It’ll do the body good.” She tried to convince her, but Selene was more stubborn than that.

“If it’s so good, then why don’t you taste it?”

Nijah sighed, already frustrated from her mood swings. “If you won’t comply, then we will have to forcibly administer the medicine to you. So it can either be the easy way or the hard way.”

“Fine, fine, I guess I can’t argue with a pregnant woman.” Selene took the cup with a sly grin, drinking the mixture in one gulp.

“Could we not be so loud when discussing that matter?”

“Not wanting the others to know?”

“Precisely.” She answered. “They will know when I feel it is appropriate to tell the others.”

Selene placed the cup on the tray, careful to not let the glass shatter on the metal. “I see how it is. Is the baby’s father here, too?”

“You’re making very bold statements that I don’t think you should be, miss.” Nijah crossed her arms in front of her chest. “I suggest you stop, otherwise I will have to move you to a different room with a different doctor.”

“Okay, okay, jeez!” Selene held her hands up in regret. “I’m sorry. You just remind me a lot of my friend Nijah. She was sometimes a stick in the mud with some things, so I always teased her to get her to loosen up, that’s all.”

“Please do not feel like you need to treat me in such a way.” Nijah retorted. It’ll hurt me more that way.

“Hmm...did Nijah ever tell you how she met me?”

“I don’t think so.”

“I’ll have to tell it to ya someday. Maybe when you’re not so crabby!” She laughed, slapping her thigh in the process.

Ah, at least her personality hasn’t changed from the plague, Nijah thought as she began to roll the cart out of the room. Always willing to call people out.

“Well, I hope you have a good night, miss. I will see you tomorrow.”

“Goodnight, doc! Sleep well!”

As she left room 187, she just hoped that Selene would live through the night.

That night, Nijah snuck out of the apprentice’s wing after the moon had risen and everyone else had fallen asleep. She heard the coo of an owl as she descended down the stairwell, her bare fingers trailing across the stone walls as she walked on her tiptoes. Julian had instructed her that she didn’t need to knock, that his door would be unlocked and ready for her arrival. He also instructed that he would give her a new, clean doctor’s uniform, so she could come in her everyday clothes she normally wore. Her long skirt brushed the floor as she shivered in her sleeveless top, finally arriving at the doctor’s office.

When she opened the door, she was surprised to see the trap door already open, her trail decorated with flower petals.

“Jules, what is all of this?” Nijah muttered to herself as she walked down the stairs. As she entered the bedroom, she saw two candles placed on the floor, illuminating the petal path. Her eyes gazed up at the bed, where Julian lay with a grin on his face.

“Oh, my darling,” he smiled, “I’m so glad you are here.” Even the bedspread had petals on it, and...was that a bottle of wine on a tray? “Come, please join me.”

Stunned, Nijah got up on the bed, sitting across from her lover. “Jules, what is all this for?”

“I told you it would be worth it, didn’t I?” Julian answered, leaning in to kiss her cheek. “You deserve it all. Wine, flowers, all the finest things…” He popped open the bottle, pouring a glass for himself. “Want some?”

Nijah wasn’t sure what it was, but something in her stomach told her it wasn’t the best time to try it. “I’ll pass for now, thank you.”

“If you insist.” Julian took a sip of his glass, feeling the warm liquid drip down his throat. Nijah took a moment to look over how handsome he was in the moment. Sure, he looked good all the time, but she never got to see him like this. His classic white shirt was unbuttoned further than normal, so she could see his entire chest and torso, the auburn curls making her want to run her fingers over his skin. His black pants rode a bit lower than usual, showing off the line of hair that ran from his navel right down to his…

“Nijah?” She felt his bare hand on hers, his eyes completely captivated by her.

“Yes, Julian?”

“I want to make things right for you. For us.” He sat his glass down on the tray and moved it to the floor, wrapping his arms around her and pulling her close. The tips of their noses brushed as he gently squeezed her. “I want to give you the life you wanted for us. I...I want to marry you, Nijah.”

She could feel her cheeks burning in surprise. This is not what she expected tonight to be like at all.

“I want to spend my life with you, give you everything you deserve. I just need time.” His hands squeezed her biceps, his nose brushing against hers. “Once we have the cure to the plague, I can take you out of this place. We can live in Vesuvia, or wherever else you may like. I would love to meet your family. And you can meet my sister.” His hand trailed to the back of her neck, playing with the stands of hair. “We can get married at a church, or by the sea, whatever you want. We can work together and help bring many people back to health. I...I want children with you, if you want them too. It doesn’t matter what we do for the rest of our lives, as long as you’re by my side.”

Nijah could feel the warm tears falling from her eyes as her heart overfilled with love. “Julian…”

“You don’t have to give me an answer yet, bu-”

“Julian, are you crazy? Of course I want that with you!” She leaned in, pressing a wet, salty kiss to his lips. He kissed her back, smiling as his hand slid further through her hair, wanting to feel every single strand brush on his fingers.

He pulled away for a moment, reaching into the pocket of his pants. He revealed a tiny golden ring, plain at sight, but with a deeper meaning only known between the two of them.

“It isn’t much, but I wanted to give you something to remember my promise…”

He took her left hand, sliding the band around her ring finger. It fit like a glove, resting perfectly above her knuckle. Nijah’s eyes sparked as she gazed at the jewelry, a symbol of their eternal love.

“It’s beautiful, Julian. Thank you…”

Julian led into the kiss this time, grabbing the back of Nijah’s shirt and pulling her to his lips quickly. She immediately felt swallowed by his passion, letting it consume every part of her being.

As the kiss escalated further, Nijah felt a cramp hit her at full force, forcing her to pull away. “Agh...I’m sorry Jules, I just…”

He pressed a hand down at her lower stomach, rubbing it with little pressure. “Is...everything alright?” He questioned.

“Yes. I think it’s just having a moment.” She made up on the spot.

“Well, you know you have one of the best doctors in Vesuvia right here with you.” He said pridefully, with a wink. “And I think I know exactly what you need.”

That night, Julian made the sweetest love that Nijah could ever receive, touching her in every spot that made her sigh with pleasure and scream with delight. He made her feel like they were the last two people on Earth, with the way his hands fluttered against her skin and the way his hips moved against hers. Nijah had never known sex could be so romantic, so loving, so intimate in this way. Every kiss made her feel closer to him, every stroke made her feel like she knew him for years. She had no idea where he began and she ended as they tangled the sheets together, only for him to find himself deep inside of her.

As they lay together for the last time for a long time, she allowed him to press his chest into her back, feeling the most vulnerable she ever had with a man. She trusted him, knew he would keep his promise, already longed for the day he would return so he could take her away from this place.

His thumb pressed into her hips as he watched her sleep. He chuckled lightly tom himself, wondering how he never deserved such an amazing woman like herself. It broke his heart to leave her, but he knew he would give her a better life as long as he had time.

In that moment, he swore on his life he would do anything to protect her. Even if it meant sacrificing himself.

When Nijah awoke the next morning, Julian already had all his belongings packed and ready to go. She found the new uniform waiting for her at the foot of the bed. She put it on hastily, hoping that he had not left her yet.

As she walked up the stairs, she twirled the ring on her finger with her thumb. She still couldn’t believe it was still on her hand, let alone that it was a symbol of the promise Julian had made to her. In his office, she saw Julian writing a letter to someone he must have cared about. She didn’t want to startle him, the tranquil scene of the rising sun and a single flame calming to her. But, this would be the last time they would see each other in a while.

“Good morning, Julian.”

He jumped in his chair slightly, then turned around to see her. “Good morning, darling. Slept well?”

“Better than before.” She sat the cot down and took a seat, watching him as he wrote. “Who is that for?”

“It’s...for you.” He admitted, scribbling his signature frantically on the paper. “But you can’t read it until I’m gone, got it?”

“Yes, Dr. Jules.” She teased. 

Julian waited for the ink to dry, then folded it up and place it in Nijah’s breast pocket, patting it for security.

“There. Now I’ll be with you wherever you go...again.” He blushed, his fingers trailing over her left hand and brushing against the gold band.

Nijah was usually able to read every emotion he had on his face, and this morning was no different. Julian’s face was overwhelmed with bittersweet happiness. He was excited about his new adventure, ready to save the city, but his heart was torn with even the idea of leaving her behind.

She initiated the embrace, hugging him tightly and hoping she would never need to let go. Julian followed suit, his warmth enveloping her like a warm blanket on a chilly day. He rocked her back and forth in his arms, his lips pressed against the crown of her head. He inhaled her sweet scent, his favorite smell in the entire world. She exhaled as her head rested against his chest, listening to his heart beat.

“Wait for me, Nijah. I promise it will be worth it.”

She looked up at him, knowing that his words were true.

“I’ll wait a thousand years for you, Julian.”

He leaned in for one last kiss, his lips burning a longing feeling throughout Nijah’s entire body. She didn’t want him to go, she wished that she never had to go another day without seeing him.

But, she knew he was helping the city. He could be saving the world.

“Goodbye, Nijah.” He whispered as he pulled away from her, taking his cloak and tying it around his neck. “I’ll be counting down the moments until I see you again.” He took her hand and kissed it reverently.

“I love you, Jules.”

“I love you too, Nijah.”

And, just as quickly as he came into her life, he was gone.

Nijah went about her normal duties, doing her best to pretend everything was fine. Nobody but Katja even knew that she had feelings for Julian, and her friend has barely scratched the surface of their relationship. But, she stood with confidence, chin up and spirits high, just like he would want her to be.

But, as she brought the cart with Selene’s meal and the medical tools she needed for today’s procedure into room 187, she knew that the patient would be able to see right through her facade. She was good at picking up on these things. Thank goodness she was wearing gloves so she couldn’t see her ring.

“Good morning, doc!” She exclaimed, standing to her feet to welcome her. “Is everything okay?”

Nijah took a glance at her dear friend and was taken aback. This would be her third day with the plague, so it would most likely take her life tonight, but...she was shocked at how terrible Selene looked. Her eye sockets made her look like she was a zombie, she had a bright flush over her cheeks, her body looked as frail as a fingernail. She could barely smile without wincing in pain.

“Please, miss, I suggest that you stay seated today…” Nijah rushed over to her friend’s side, helping her sit in the cot. Selene let her lead her, taking a blanket and wrapping it around her shoulders as she sat.

“How ya feeling today, doc?” She asked.

“I’m fine, miss.” She replied quickly, handing her a hot plate of food. “What I want to know is how you’re feeling.”

“Terrible.” Selene admitted, picking the food up with her fingers and eating it carefully. “I feel like I’m being eaten alive. I’ve never been in any more pain.”

Nodding her head, Nijah added the commentary to her notes. “Well hopefully I can give you some relief today.”

From a box on the cart, she pulled out a small vile, holding a small leech. It was one of Julian’s favorite parasites, for it apparently gave patients the most relief. She had her doubts in the tiny little parasite, but for Selene, she would do just about anything.

“Hey, woah there…” Selene set her plate down next to her. “You’re not gonna put that thing on me, right?”

“Of course I am.” Nijah answered, plucking the tiny creature out of the vile. “Trust me, it’s pretty painless.”

Selene stared at the leech squirming around in Nijah’s hand, narrowing her eyes. Her body language said it all - she didn’t trust like that. Eventually, she sighed, accepting her blood-letting fate.

“Well, it could be worse. Where are you gonna put him?”

“Just on your arm right here…”

Nijah wiped down her upper bicep with an alcohol and water solution, and quickly attached the leech onto her skin. Selene initially shouted from the pain as she felt the teeth dig into her skin. But, after a moment passed, her voice went quiet as she watched it sucking her blood.

“Hey, it actually kinda tickles!”

Feeling slightly more relieved, Nijah watched as the leech grew bigger and bigger, taking more of Selene’s bad blood out of her body. Maybe Julian was on to something...she thought as she watched the scene play in front of her.

That night at dinner, Nijah felt completely miserable. She knew the fate of her dearest friend would be coming soon, Julian had been gone for quite some time, and her cramps and mood swings were not getting any better. The only saving grace was that the chefs made pumpkin bread as a special.

Nijah sat next to Katja, and she immediately knew something was wrong. “Nijah, you’re hiding something from me. What’s wrong?” She placed her book down on the table, giving her full attention to her friend.

“You know how when I lost my first patient, I felt worthless and like I was a bad doctor?”

“Yes…”

“Well now I feel worse because…” Nijah took a deep breath, “my current patient is my best friend from home.”

Katja placed a hand over her heart, feeling it break for her dear friend. “Oh no...does she know it’s you?”

“Of course not.” She tore a piece of the pumpkin bread and placed it in her mouth. It tasted delicious, but it was far from fresh. “If she knew it was me, she would never forgive me for not knowing how to keep her alive.”

“I don’t think it would be like that…” Katja trailed off. “She knows that you tried everything you could, right? Or you at least tried?”

“I did essentially everything we were taught to do,” Nijah recalled. “I even visited her multiple times a day to do all the different treatments we learned. Nothing has helped.”

“Could Dr. Devorak help you?” She looked around the room, confused as to why he hadn’t arrived.

“He’s gone. Off to work on the cure at the palace.”

Katja nodded in understanding, a frown crossing over her face. “How far along is your friend?”

“This is day three. She could pass away at any moment.”

Katja closed her eyes and shook her head. “Nijah...go to her. Even if she doesn’t know it’s you...she needs you now more than ever.”

She’s right. I’ll never forgive myself if I let her die alone.

“All right, then I should get going. See you later tonight…” Nijah trailed off, making her way to the patient’s wing.

Strapping on her mask, she felt her heart racing and a feeling of dread drench her entire body. She expected to lose patients, but she never expected to lose a dear friend.

“Hey, doc…” Nijah heard Selene croak weakly.

“Good evening, miss. How are you holding up?” She could see that the plague has nearly taken Selene away completely. She was lying face up in the cot, the blanket wrapped around her like a baby in a swaddle. She managed to pull an arm out and wave her hand to greet the doctor. Nijah could see that she was all skin and bones, that it was nearly her time.

“I don’t think…” Selene coughed, covering her mouth with her fist. Nijah swore she saw blood fall from her lips, but she wiped it away too fast for her to see. “I’m not going to make it, am I?”

Nijah shook her head, unable to verbalize the truth.

“That’s too bad…” Selene closed her eyes. “I really thought I could start a life with Asra. He’s so sweet and charming, treats me just right. I wanted him to meet Nijah. And we all could have got along with that one guy...what was his name? Hah, I never learned it. But she also met some guy at the masquerade. Very alluring…”

“Sounds like you and Nijah have a great relationship,” she smiled, happy that at least in times like this, Selene wished she was around.

Selene was able to prop herself up on her free arm, grunting on the way up. “Hey, I know this is odd, but y’know how some people have like, last requests before they die?”

“Sure.”

“I know this is weird...but Nijah would always let me lay her head in her lap whenever I was stressed. Do you mind if I…”

Nijah nodded her head. “Not a problem.”

She made her way to the cot, helping Selene sit up so she could settle in just the right spot. Her body felt light as a feather, compared to the womanly figure she once knew so well. Slowly, gently, she laid her head down across her legs, allowing her hair to fan out just the perfect way.

“Thanks. I feel much more at ease now.” Selene smiled up at the plague doctor’s mask, getting used to the feeling of someone lying across her once more.

“No problem.”

“Hey, have you ever had a best friend?”

“I’d like to think I have.”

“Good. And if not...you can always say that I was.” Selene nuzzled into her lap. “Y’know, just in case.”

Oh, I do...Nijah’s heart split in half, holding back the tears she could already feel coming.

“Oh! I need to tell you the story of how Nijah and I met!” Selene said excitedly.

Nijah smiled behind the mask. “Please, tell me...and don’t leave out a single detail.” All the while, she was remembering the story with her, so long ago…

She could remember how much she was crying. Some of the other students were bullying her because of her flower obsession. They thought it was stupid and that she needs to focus on the more important subjects they were learning in school. She was seven.

After school let out, she ran off into the forest. She didn’t tell her parents where she was going. She just knew that she had to get away.

She ran as far and fast as she could, hopping over gnarly tree roots and sticks, scaring off the wild animals that lived there with her wails. Not even the crow, which flew high above with its menacing caws, could scare her off. It was almost like she was being led somewhere by magic.

Not long after, her feet stopped in front of a row of bushes. Hidden behind them lay a large field of flowers, filled with beautiful colors as far as the eye could see. Nijah could name them all - carnations, violets, orchids, hyacinths...and she knew all their meanings, too.

She took a step into the flower field, letting the fresh scents be her guide through the wilderness. Here was where she felt safe. Not back in the city of Vesuvia. Not in her schools. Not even the front step of her home. As she meandered through the floral maze, she began singing a song that her mother had taught her a few years back”

“Flower, grow and grow,

“Bloom when the sun shines,

“And when the rains come,

“Still you will shine your light...”

As Nijah walked through the field, she paused. She heard someone else’s voice echoing with hers. Curious about the sound, she continued her song...

“Bloom to show us all,

“That you are divine,

“When the sun goes down,

“Show me what once was mine…”

In the middle of the flowers, she saw another girl, about her age, singing along with her. She had recognized her from school. She was a loner, much like Nijah seemed to be. The girl turned around as she walked over to her, dark curls blowing in the breeze.

“Oh!” She exclaimed. “Was that you singing?”

Nijah nodded, a little shy to be meeting her so suddenly.

“Your voice is so pretty! Let’s be friends!” she held her hand out to shake on their new acquaintanceship.

Nijah accepted, surprised at how enthusiastic this new person was. Just how excited was she to have a new friend, especially her of all people?

“My name is Selene. What’s yours?”

“N...ni...nijah.” She stuttered anxiously.

“Nice to meet you! I can tell that we’re going to be friends forever.” Selene pulled Nijah into a tight hug, nearly squeezing her to death. Nijah wasn’t used to this form of affection, but she knew something that could be just as good…

Nijah peeked over Selene’s shoulder and saw just what she needed. As her new friend put her down, Nijah trotted over to the edge of a rosebush. Trying her best to avoid the pricklies, she managed to pull out a single yellow rose. She presented it to her new friend with a cautious smile.

“For friendship.”

Selene gushed, a light blush dusting over her face. “For me? Thank you!” She carefully took the flower from Nijah’s fingers, smelling the lovely aroma.

Nijah felt a wave of relief. Having a friend felt good.

“This is the nicest thing anyone has ever given me. I promise.” Selene grabbed Nijah by the hand. “Come on, let’s go back home. I want you to meet my momma!”

“...and from that day forward, we were inseparable. We would go to that field every year to celebrate another year as friends. It seems like we’ll be missing this year, though...”

Nijah’s eyes welled with tears from her memories. They were so precious to her, and she never thought she would be looking back on them like this. So tragic, to have her friend dying in her arms this way.

“I...I think you two will find each other again. In another life.” Nijah rambled.

“You think so?”

“Yeah, the world works in mysterious ways.”

For a moment, they were silent. Nijah tried her best to dry her eyes, batting them quickly so her tears would go back to where they came from. Selene seemed to be thinking deeply about something, letting her face frown as she concentrated.

“Doc, I have to thank you. For trying to save me. You...you made me feel like I was more than a patient.”

Nijah refused to say anything. She would lose herself if she did.

“I never imagined dying this way. I imagined living my life, with my friends and a lover, having a family of my own...but hey, maybe in another life, right?”

“Maybe so.”

“I wish you well doctor. I hope that maybe, we can meet again.” Selene reached up to caress the doctor’s mask tenderly, like she was saying goodbye. “Th...thank you…”

And, in that moment, Selene took her last breath.

Nijah closed her eyes with her fingers and rested her hand back on her body. She took her mask off, letting it fall to the ground as she could no longer hold back the tears, holding Selene’s body close to her own.

“Goodbye, my friend…”

She wasn’t sure how long she stayed in the room where she died. All she knew was that she cried until her body was completely dry, unable to feel anything anymore.

The next morning, Nijah still felt completely empty. But she didn’t know how else she could feel. She had lost one of the people that meant the world to her.

Selene had requested that after her body was cremated, that Doctor 187 would bury her by the sea, so she could find herself with Nijah someday. For the sake of her deceased friend, Nijah rolled out of bed, fiddling with the ring to help her not feel so depressed. Julian would want me to do this, she thought as she stretched her body out from her sleepless night.

As she made her way to the bathrooms, she kept on getting frightened stares from the other doctors. They backed away from her, had her name on their lips, even ran out of her way as she trudged forward. Even Katja looked at her in fear. But she didn’t care. They don’t know what she’s going through. 

She assumed that she looked rough because she didn’t sleep a wink. A cruel way to go about it, she thought as she opened the door to the bathroom.

Nijah took a bucket and threw some cold water over her body to wake herself up. The freezing temperature jolted her body, feeling her senses go into overdrive.

As she patted her body dry with a towel, she walked over to the mirror instinctively to fix her hair. But when she saw her reflection, she dropped her towel in horror.

The whites of her eyes had turned bright red.

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[spnwaywardwitch-blog]

Unleashed: Part 6

"So it looks like you've gotten what you needed. So what are your plans now Rowena?" Castiel asked as they all sat around the table looking at her with the hamster cage.

     "Well, I was hoping to be able to stay here for a little bit. With the trick I just played on Asmadeus, he is sure to be looking for me to get revenge for making him look a fool." I placed Olivette's cage onto the table and looked at Sam as he opened his mouth to speak.

     "I don't think that's a good idea. You wanted our help to get Olivette out of Hell for you, we owed you one, so we did it. Our part in your story is over." That was harsh. I was expecting words like those from Dean, not Sam. I always thought he had a little soft spot for me, but apparantly I was wrong.

     "Listen, I don't expect to stay here for free or long for that matter. Just until Asmadeus calms down and I can continue on with hunting down the rest of the Grand Coven. In return, I will help you with your little hunts and whatever else it is you boys do." I gave a small smirk to Dean. "And might be I could show you what fifth base is." A sly smile crept up my face as I seen Dean's face go red in embarrassment.

     "Fine. You can stay. You keep up your end of the deal and forget about whatever the hell fifth base is, and you can stay for a short time." Dean spoke up. "But you're not getting your hands anywhere near the Book of the Damned or the Black Grimoir."

     "Fine. But you are really missing out on the fifth base part." I smirked as I picked up Olivette's cage. "So Samuel. Shall we be bunk mates?" Sam's face went bright red and he stuttered on his reply. "Fabulous." Smiling I quietly left the room to go and find the bedroom to place Olivette in.

     Weeks went by and there was news of Asmadeus sending out hunting parties of demons to try and find me. I helped the Winchester brothers with some of their cases they found, testing out my powers, getting more and more comfortable with them and more confident. I knew that I would have to begin planning my next move soon. Part of me hated to leave, I was getting used to these boys but I couldn't have them help me take down the Grand Coven. That was something I had to do on my own. It was my job. After that was finished, if I made it out alive, well, I didn't know what was next for me. The time to think of that was not now. Right now, I needed to find the two books the Winchester's were hiding from me. I would need to borrow them to start putting my plans into motion.

     One day while I was exploring the bunker I stumbled upon Dean's room. It was the only room that I had not checked yet for the books. Slowly, I crept inside. The boys were in the library reading up on some monster or something of the sort that they had tracked down in Charlotte, North Carolina. This was the perfect time to see if the books were here. I closed the door quietly behind me and spoke a summoning spell and to my amazement the two books flew to me from underneath Dean's bed and landed in my arms. I quickly made my way out of Dean's room and went back to Sam's which I was borrowing while I stayed here. Putting them both in my bag I looked over at Olivette. "The time is coming when I will hunt down your friends. We're leaving soon." I smiled and left the room and met up with the boys in the library.

     As I entered the room, the handsome angel looked over at me. "Good, you're here. We could use your help with this case."

     "I'm sorry but I won't be able to participate in this one boys. I am afraid I will be leaving soon. I need to start acting on my plans before I lose track of my purpose here." I smiled at them. Dean looked angry, Sam looked saddened, and Castiel looked confused.

     "We need you on this one with us Rowena. Can't your revenge wait another few days?" Dean snapped at me.

     "I'm sorry. I wish it could, but I can't procrastinate any longer. It was a lot of fun working with you boys,  and maybe we can do it again sometime. But my time to leave is now." I surprised myself when I realized that not one word I just spoke was a lie. I had actually grown attached to these men. There were less and less snarky remarks from Dean. Sam had grown to count on me, and Castiel had gotten so used to me flirting with him that he even flirted back sometimes.

     Realizing that standing around here was just going to delay my plans longer and I was risking having them find out that I had stolen the Book of the Damned and the Black Grimoir, I turned around and gathered my things. I picked up Olivette's cage and left the bunker.

     The teleportation spell I cast brought me to a little motel in Bangor, Maine. I checked into a room and once I had locked the door and closed the curtains I turned around and opened the cage door letting Olivette try to run out.

     Before she could get too far I cast a spell, freezing her in place. "Now, now. Running won't do you any good." I smiled as I grabbed the Black Grimoir.

     Once I found the spell I wanted I looked at Olivette and reached out my hand. With a few words, Olivette let out a squeal of pain as she shivered in mid air and slowly turned back into her human form.

     Before Olivette could attempt to cast a spell, I spoke a few words out of the Black Grimoir and a light of blue flew from her open mouth into the palm of my hand and disappeared. I had taken her powers from her.

     "Now, there will be none of that. Powerless is a much better look for you I think. Now," I said as I moved closer to her. "Tell me. Where can I find Katja and Claudette?"

     Olivette looked up at me fearful now that she was completely powerless. She slowly opened her mouth to speak.

[aion-rsa]

Evil Season 2: Katja Herbers Talks Jinn and Dark Tonics

https://ift.tt/eA8V8J

This interview contains spoilers for Evil season 2.

Evil season 2 turned a new page in The Pop-Up Book of Terrifying Things MMXXI. The first episode, “N Is for Night Terrors,” began with Dr. Kristen Bouchard (Katja Herbers) trying to literally bury the hatchet on things which might disturb her sleep. Ben Shakir (Aasif Mandvi) found something, or someone, new to keep him up past bedtime. David Acosta (Mike Colter) doesn’t need to close his eyes in order to dream. He is close to becoming ordained as a priest, but the church keeps throwing too many practical applications on his study sheet.

The second episode, “A Is for Angel,” saw the trinity question the justice of God, as an archangel laid plans to open the second bowl of torments for mankind. The headlines which crawled across Evil’s news coverage of a global plague mirrored the worldwide reaction to the COVID pandemic. Recently exorcized from CBS, Evil now possesses Paramount+. The supernatural suspense drama dips into The X-Files territory. David wants to believe, probably even more than Fox Mulder. Forensic psychiatrist Kristen wants to get to the bottom of belief, much like Dana Scully conducted her own autopsies in search of physical explanations for anomalies. Ben is all three of the Lone Gunmen, plus about half of Skinner. He knows all the tricks tech toys can pull, and a safe distance from belief.

In “F Is for Fire,” the analytic team from St. Joseph’s is forced to look beyond the Catholic church, and Christian teachings, to answer the most burning questions a young Islamic girl may have. The episode is the hottest of the series so far. The very opening is a sexual fantasy strong enough to set Kristen off on the prowl. Bouchard was a trophy-winning mountain climber before she went looking for things that go bump in the night, and this gives her a shot at a little of both.

Prior to Dr. Kristen Bouchard’s work with the investigative team, she was an on-call expert in forensic psychology for the District Attorney’s office. Prior to Evil, Katja Herbers played Dr. Helen Prins on WGN America’s Manhattan and Emily Grace in HBO’s Westworld, and had recurring roles in The Americans, The Leftovers, and Manhunt: Unabomber. In a conversation with Den of Geek, Herbers stoked the fires of her relations with the jinn, David, and her new bosses.

DEN OF GEEK: I have been enjoying the show since the first night terror. Are you kept awake at night pondering the bigger questions?

KATJA HERBERS: No, I have to say I don’t. I’m more interested in the actual terror of this actual world, like climate change and things like that.

You’ll be exploring some of that on this show. How do you feel about being part of the conversation?

I love that. I think our show is so very timely, unfortunately, for a show called Evil and the things that we explore. I like to think that watching something like this can also be a way of processing the world that we’re in and may hopefully sometimes be a bit therapeutic or cathartic or just offer some relief because you see these characters’ fight. Then maybe you yourself can sit back and just watch some other people take care of business.

In season one, there was a rising sexual tension between you and David, and this season, you’re more on the prowl. Was this detour to avoid the will-they-won’t-they Mulder-Scully arc or are you just taking David’s vows more seriously?

No, I think it just is because Kristen murdered someone and she’s now looking for some kind of a calmness in herself and needs to find that anywhere, and that might be with any guy in any bar. She’s trying medication, she’s trying it all. I think the will-they-or-won’t-they will continue because I do think they have a very genuine connection, both intellectually and also there’s a physical attraction and I don’t think that’s going to go away.

How are the drug interactions affecting the spiritual ones? You’re taking a different type of drug than David, but altered reality is still altered reality.

Yeah. I ask for them, because I’m seeing things that aren’t there. I’m seeing this jinn with a head on fire, and I’m having hallucinations. I think that I actually ask my psychiatrist specifically to prescribe me a certain medication because I’m also a psychiatrist and I know what I need. I believe in medicine and in science, but I know that those things, it can take a while until you’ve found the right cocktail for your brain chemistry.

I do think that she’s suffering from unfortunate side effects there or at least that’s how she sees it or does it not have to do with the medicine? Is it actually all supernatural? And is this jinn following her? I guess that’s the whole question of what’s going on with Kristen.

Are the characters becoming more steeped in their supernatural reality or are they just becoming more suggestible to the force of expectation? Ben also has an imaginary friend.

Yeah. The job that we have, does mean that a lot of things I cannot explain purely scientifically. I do think that my character is more open to a supernatural explanation of things than she was at the very start of the first season. I think probably, I’m sort of in the middle of David and Ben. I think all three of us are dealing with things that we cannot explain, and I think that’s very interesting. What is a human being, if we don’t show the doubt that they have? Anybody who is completely certain of things, they can get a bit boring maybe.

Do you miss George?

Yeah. I do miss George. I find him very funny and endearing and weird. Luckily enough, most of the demons are played by the same actor, who’s wonderful, Marti Matulis. So, I do get to hang out with the actor, just in a different costume.

When Ben caught the telltale blood stain at the end of last season, was Kristen willing him not to remember it?

Yes. Exactly. I thought that was very funny.

(Creators and showrunners) Robert and Michelle King bring a great sense of humor to this. Will there be any strictly humorous shows like The X-Files did “Jose Chung’s From Outer Space?”

I hope so. That would be very fun. I think nothing’s too crazy for the Kings. I’ll put in the request.

How intensive is the investigation into Orson LeRoux’s death going to be? And how much peril is Kristen facing?

Well, I think it’s going to be quite intensive, if not for the police looking for whoever killed him, but also just internally in Kristen’s mind, because she did that, and now what? She’s not lying awake, pondering if she did the right thing, because I do think that she did the right thing – it was him or her children, that was very clear to her. So, what mother wouldn’t want to protect their children? But she is now a murderer, and I think it has changed her and she’s become somebody who is way more willing to go to the edge of things.

She also has district attorney training. Do you think she would have done the same thing if it was someone else’s family?

I don’t think so. No. I think she would have gone to the police.Think this was a very emotional act, and that kind of emotionality only comes if you’re protecting your own.

Do you know why she is being singled out? Has that been revealed to you?

For some reason, this Leland guy seems to have it out for her. Maybe because she seems like a good person and the good needs to be destroyed. I don’t know. Or maybe it’s because they want to get to David, unclear.

I read that the COVID forced a change in the season arc, second season. Were there any lost opportunities that you might have to revisit in future seasons?

At the start of filming this season, it had more to do with locations and things. We couldn’t be in a room with more than X amount of people. So, I think there was going to be something on a subway platform that didn’t end up happening because we couldn’t have those kinds of extras there. But I don’t think it held us back creatively. If anything, the protocols just really slowed us down. People have had to wait for the season a very long time because of COVID unfortunately, otherwise it would have been out long ago.

cnx.cmd.push(function() { cnx({ playerId: "106e33c0-3911-473c-b599-b1426db57530", }).render("0270c398a82f44f49c23c16122516796"); });

Do you have any more freedoms at Paramount+ than you did at CBS?

I think so. We only found out about the move when we were way far into filming, I think we were at episode 11 or something. The freedoms will also be found in the editing room, where we used to have to be exactly 43 minutes. And now maybe sometimes, you can have a little bit more air around a scene. It could maybe be 45 minutes, and those two extra minutes can mean, does a joke land or does it not land? I’m very excited about the move and the extra creativity that comes with that.

Are you at all superstitious? Would you do Macbeth?

Yeah, sure I’d do Macbeth, but can I play Macbeth? I’m not very superstitious. However, I sometimes will have a stupid thought in my head like, you better go to the other side of the street and then I’ll be like, “oh, okay, well, there you go, might as well do it.” I used to work with somebody in the theater who had to get in and out of their costume eight times before they could go on stage because otherwise it wouldn’t go well. My OCD stops at, once a week I’ll walk to the other side of the street, but it doesn’t go further than that.

A lot of people click with this show because they recognize the supernatural in their everyday lives. Do people come up to you on the street and ask for answers?

No, because nobody ever recognizes me, which is a wonderful, wonderful thing. I have literally never, ever been asked about Evil on the street.

Do you yourself go looking for answers?

Well, on a scientific level, sure, but not in a supernatural way.

Evil airs Sundays on Paramount+.

The post Evil Season 2: Katja Herbers Talks Jinn and Dark Tonics appeared first on Den of Geek.

from Den of Geek https://ift.tt/36bpiUf

[leroymurrand]

An Ishgardian Account: Journal Entry 1

OOC: ((A continuation of Leroy’s journal from the Might and Magitek website))

[Leroy’s journal is a thick leather bound tome, dyed blue. The pages are worn, many previous entries scattered about its parchment. The handwriting within is fine and thin cursive; fancy, but readable. There are no spells or locks to hide his words from prying eyes.]  I didn’t wish for it to end this way, my love. 

This is, perhaps, pointless. I know that you can read this. With my very own eyes, you see. With my ears you hear. And sometimes, with my mouth you speak. Whatever I did then (whatever I did in that field where Crista laid dying), you and I became something else that night. A being so filled with anger. With hatred. Malice. 

But most of all, fear. 

My memory is hazy, but you, my dear, remember. You tell me what I - what we - did that night. And I don’t want to believe it. But I must submit to the truth; that we hurt them. Together, we hurt them - and together we hurt -her-.  Our dearest Crista, Janine. Crista! Our first born. Our baby. Even in your madness how could you have - 

[For once, out of all the text in the book, Leroy’s writing falters here. The cursive is awry, loops too wide and soon the letters are not letters at all. It cuts into the sentences above, but does not render them unreadable. The next line looks like all new handwriting altogether. A more loopy and thick-lined lettering begins where Leroy’s ended.]  I cannot confront this. I am dead. You are what is left of me.  [The next line down appears to  be Leroy’s smooth writing again.] 

Crista is afraid of me. Afraid of us, perhaps. She will not see me, and I do not blame her. Even Keimahl, in her ignorance or by instinct, has also decided to keep me from seeing her. I do not know how she fairs. I do not know if she is okay. Perhaps these things I will never be allowed to know for what I - what we - did. 

Khalun is afraid of me. Nadi’a was nearly dead. Perhaps he is. Perhaps he isn’t. I do not know. I nearly killed one of Crista’s friends; Paradyme. I had enough rage inside of me to keep going. Even little Inelaa. Even her. So easily, I could have crushed every single one. I was a wicked and dangerous thing. Cruelty and death at the sound of a word. 

It was glorious. It was horrifying. Liberating. Those words that I spoke were a key to some primal feeling within me. Within us. In you, Janine. I felt how you felt when you saw Natalie fall. Her neck slit, and you screamed, and Crista cried - and gods above Jan -. Jan, I’m sorry. 

That is when I uttered those words. And Paradyme fell to my anger. My bitterness. Our pain, together, as one twisting writhing thing. It felt good. I had unleashed something I had -always- wanted to. 

Jan, why did that feel so agonizingly brilliant? Is that your memory, or mine? Does it even matter whose it was anymore? 

I suppose, after what I did to you - after I killed you - it does not. 

I was so angry at you, Jan.  Angry that you couldn’t be cured. Angry that you had such madness in you. Angry that you couldn’t remember me. Remember us. Remember you. I didn’t know that such anger would transform me into some mindless beast, so eager to tear out your heart. 

My darling, you did not deserve such a fate. 

But now, we are here. And you are me.

And I am you... but how do we move on as one being? As one person? 

Moving on sounds so hollow. Everything sounds hollow in the wake of such tragedy. How do I tell anyone? 

How do I tell Katja about this? Maybe its best if I don’t. 

It would be impossible to hide for long with her. What a stupid idea. 

Oh, Katja what do I say to you, when you are so far. 

I miss you. 

I hope that means I am still me. 

[The page oddly ends with mindless looping lines. In the corner, a small image of a simple astroglobe is drawn, though it is crude and not at all like the artistry of the real instrument.]

[dragon-moms]

Entry 151 - Baroness

Conquest continues.

I awoke to Myrmidon once again waking me to prepare me for the day.

“Hello, my lady,” they said, getting my wing prosthetics together. “Did your rest go well?”

“I was thinking about the dragons who worked here,” I admitted. “I did not sleep as much as I desired.”

“The ones from Dagger’s vision?” Myrmidon asked.

“Yes. There is a lot from it that makes little sense to me,” I said. The small White called Katja had said they were a soldier, for instance. Their size would make them ill-suited to such a task. The singing in the scene also did not logically connect to the scene I was seeing. I am to understand music is often used to complement an emotional mood, but the White’s stated emotional condition did not connect with the fairly upbeat sounds they were producing.

“Mm, I see. Perhaps this morning would be a good time to share some of those concerns?” Myrmidon asked as they tightened the straps onto my bones. “We shall be meeting for a meal as per usual. You could join us and you and Dagger could share what you saw.”

“It’s not like it’s important,” Dagger’s voice said from somewhere in the corner. “It was just a couple talking.”

“Perhaps it is not important to us, but it will be important to someone else’s investigation,” Myrmidon said, smiling.

“Perhaps,” I said. “...I shall attend.”

“I will let everyone know, my lady,” Myrmidon said, giving a little bow.

I soon found myself sitting at the edge of the structure my creation and Merry were using while everyone ate.

“Shall we exchange notes?” Myrmidon asked. “I believe my mother and sibling have something to report, for instance.”

“Oh?” Gloria said, turning to me.

“It’s nothing,” Dagger’s voice said.

“Dagger had a vision of when the territory was inhabited,” I said. “But it did not seem particularly relevant to our goal of causing a White dragon to rise.”

“What do you mean by vision?” Nobody asked. “Is this more weird shit you haven’t told me about?”

“I sometimes see things, accidentally,” Dagger said, materializing. “From the past. We’ve never figured out exactly how it works. Usually it’s just my past haunting me when I’m alone, but occasionally it’s other things… it’s all very depressing.”

“You’re fucking joking,” Nobody said, and then looked around the room. “No, of course you’re not fucking joking… you’re the most sincere group of fucks.”

“Nobody, please watch your language,” Merry said.

Nobody made a frustrated noise.

“Just tell us what you saw, Dagger,” Gloria said. “You never know. It might help.”

“Fine…” Dagger said. “It was two dragons in the potion stall Mom is staying in. They were a Black and one of those little Whites, and they were making potions. They seemed to be a couple.”

“Like, couple like a romantic couple?” Merry asked.

“Yeah,” Dagger said.

“Wow,” Merry said, thinking about that.

“Anyway, they were discussing some political figure who was visiting their Queen and maybe dating them or something? And the little White was frustrated about it because they were working for peace or something like that. That’s all it was,” Dagger said.

“You’re right, that doesn’t seem very useful,” Gloria said. “But it is interesting.”

“I bet this whole territory was super neato when it was all working,” Flare said, smiling.

“Anyway, let’s move on to what we found,” Gloria said. “Baroness, we’ve found a magically sealed door that Miss Nobody can’t break through. We might need your experience on it. It’s in the structure that’s the equivalent of the Peak. We assume it’s important.”

“Yes… I can assist…” I said, thinking. “I will prepare myself.”

“Good,” Gloria said. “Flare, do you want to…”

“What kind of political figure?” Nobody said, interrupting.

“What?” Gloria asked.

“Not you, the ghost,” Nobody said. “What kind of political figure?”

“I don’t know…” Dagger said, body getting more angular. “What does it matter?”

“I believe the words used were ‘Green envoy,’” I said. “The flow of the conversation suggested the envoy was from the Harvest Knights.”

“Fuck,” Nobody said.

“Please, if you could…” Merry started.

“Mom, I think this is a lost cause…” Philly said.

“But still,” Merry said, tail swishing.

“That’s Belladonna. They were talking about Belladonna,” Nobody said.

“What, from the children’s stories?” Gloria said.

“The Harvest Knights were very real,” Nobody growled.

“Sure,” Gloria said. “But that’s where I know her from. The Gambler Supreme or whatever. With the cards.”

“Oh right!” Merry said. “She wore all the pretty gold and stuff!”

“I wasn’t sure, but if we’re all deciding to trust these nonsense visions as an accurate source, then this confirms what I’ve been reading,” Nobody said. “That diary we found, Gloria, that’s Belladonna’s diary. She was living here, according to it, which is strange, but matches when she basically disappears from historical documents.” Nobody closed her eyes, obviously thinking. “Then I really do need to break the cipher… not really my area of expertise, but I can give it a go.”

“What’s a cipher?” Flare asked.

“The diary, most of it is written in code,” Nobody said. “I can only read short notes with no context that I guess she didn’t have time to write in her code, but it was enough to let me guess who was writing it. Felt insane for it to be true, though. And why was it in that bedding chamber?”

“Well, I’m glad my pointless vision was accidentally useful, I guess,” Dagger said, disappearing.

“We’ll have to keep looking for information on the diary that might help you,” Gloria said. “In the meantime, we have a concrete lead in the door. Baroness, how about you come with me to examine it?”

I nodded.

“Merry? Myrmidon? Philly?” Gloria asked.

“Ah, I believe we will be continuing Philly’s recovery,” Myrmidon said. “I do apologize.”

“I’m doing better,” Philly said. “It’s not like I’m hurt…”

“You shouldn’t push yourself, you know?” Merry said.

“Mm…” Philly said, looking conflicted.

“Well, I’ll leave you all to that then, though if you have more time to explore, that would be useful,” Gloria said.

“I’m staying here to get started on the cipher,” Nobody said. “I can’t do anything about the door anyway.”

“Flare?” Gloria asked.

“I’ll go with you!” he said.

“Alright, let’s finish eating and do this then,” Gloria said.

Gloria and I soon flew very far to a place modeled after human centers of government. It was an impressive structure that reminded me, in some ways, of my Keep back in Orin. It was much more elaborate and dragon-sized than the ruin I used at the base of my place.

Soon, through several passages, we found the door itself. It was inscribed with what was clearly ritual lines, but they were constructed incorrectly. There were a wide variety of solid shapes in the pattern, a potentially dangerous inscription.

“Perhaps the door is designed to overcharge and hurt the user if activated incorrectly,” I guessed out loud as I tried to make sense of it.

“So, it’s a trap?” Gloria asked.

“...perhaps,” I said, sitting down. “This will take me some time.”

I spent the day studying the ritual lines. The more I studied it, the more I doubted my initial assessment was correct. It was, perhaps, a possible side effect of the base this ritual was using, but it was on purpose. I fed tiny amounts of various elemental energies into the lines, to see how they would react. Nothing gave me a satisfactory clue.

Gloria and Flare would come in and out, checking on me occasionally as I worked. I quickly lost track of time, and was surprised when Flare said, “You heading back with us, Barry?”

“What?” I said.

“It’s getting late,” Gloria said. “We’re going to head back and eat something.”

“I see,” I said, turning back to the door.

“You alright, Barry?” Flare asked.

“I have never seen anything like this,” I admitted. “I cannot remember the last time I have looked at a set of ritual lines I did not at least have a good understanding of how to start researching it.”

“Well, don’t worry about it!” Flare said, grinning at me. “You’ll figure it out when you should, probably.”

I was unsure what to say.

“I don’t know about that, but a break can’t hurt,” Gloria said. “Let’s go back.”

I nodded at my friends.

As they eat, I have gone back to the potion lab. On the table next to me is the White corpse I was studying. I am thinking about the vision, and the song the White named Katja sang.

I believe I understand where to begin.

[yasminwithane]

questions 1 - 41 if you're feeling it :)

Bless you Denise, you’re the real MVP. 💙 

I’m just gonna answer them all cause that’s what people normally do at 1am, right?

I’ll put it as a read more for people who hate long posts.

1) 📚 approximately how many books have you read

Seriously? There’s no way I’d even be able to guess that. Only apt answer is NOT ENOUGH!

2) 📝 book that everyone has to read

I guess Harry Potter? More to not feel left out than for enjoyment...It’s like a rite of passage, I think.

3) 📕 favourite first book in a series

The Hunger Games - Suzanne Collins

4) 📗 favourite second book in a series

Gah I don’t read many series books. Ummmmm

Never Never Pt 2? Colleen Hoover and Tarryn Fisher

5) 📘 favourite third book in a series

Ummmm Isla and the Happily Ever After? But literally just because I really love the name Isla and I can’t think of any other series I’ve read with a good third book.

6) 📖 book you’ve read more than once and how many times

Oh SO MANY. I think I maybe re-read more than I read more books. Since I’ve talked about BIF elsewhere, let’s do another book.

The Fault in Our Stars - maybe 5 times?

7) 🛋 book that keep you up all night

I mean, literally any book. But last one I remember? The Deviants by CJ Skuse

8) 🎁 book that was surprisingly good

I really dislike poetry and books written in verse, but people kept raving about One by Sarah Crossan, so I forced myself to buy it and fell ABSOLUTELY IN LOVE with verse novels and Sarah Crossan and MAN that book was SO DAMN GOOD.

9) 😡 book you expected more of

So I read a lot of Romance, and everyone RAVES about The Sea of Tranquility by Katja Millay so I picked it up expected amazingness and it was AWFUL.

10) 💰 most expensive book you’ve bought

Um, last P4A I bought a copy of Paper Towns signed by the cast for like $150... (Also a copy of An Imperial Affliction for like $100)

11) 💩 the worst book you’ve read

OH MAN. SO HARD. SO MANY.

My friend and I did a book read swap once. I forget what I made her read, but she made me read The Magpies by Mark Edwards and OH MY GOD. JUST. LITERALLY. WTF. AWFULS.

12) 🏆 the best book you’ve read

Before I Fall - Lauren Oliver ❤️ 

13) 🎥 favourite book to movie/tv show adaptation

Ooooh. I really loved the film adaptation of Me and Earl and the Dying Girl by Jesse Andrews.

14) 🎬 book you want to be a movie/tv show

I just read that they’re making a film adaptation of Every Day by David Levithan and I am SO PSYCHED for that (bonus: the script is being written by Jesse Andrews - who wrote Me and Earl and the Dying Girl!)

15)  🏝 summer book recommendation

We Were Liars - E Lockhart

16) ⛄️ winter book recommendation

Dash and Lily’s Book of Dares

17) 🌎 favourite fictional world

I’d kinda love to live in the Every Day world - different body every day? YES PLEASE.

18) 🐲 favourite book creature

Is there a book with a peacock in? Peacocks please.

19) 👯 favourite female friendship

Oooh, so hard! There are some amazing female friendships in books. Top of my head says Jennifer and Beth from Attachments.

20) 👯‍♂️ favourite male friendship

This made me realise how few books featuring make friendships there are/I’ve read... I guess maybe Greg and Earl in Me and Earl and the Dying Girl (I feel like I’ve mentioned that book too much in this survey)

21) 💋 favourite kiss

Ohhhhhhhh. Sky and Holder’s first non-kiss in Hopeless by Colleen Hoover

22) 👸 favourite princess/queen

I can’t think of a book I’ve read with either in... I’m very much a contemporary girl.

23) 🤴 favourite prince/king

Same as above.

24) 😈 favourite villain

Any book where the villain isn’t a person but like LIFE or an illness or something.

25) ❤️ favourite ship

Cather and Levi in Fangirl

26) ⛵️ favourite crack ship

I just had to google what this meant. 

Harry and Nagini (?)

27) 😱 best plot twist

I mean, I guess it HAS to be We Were Liars, doesn’t it? I do LOVE a good plot twist. I was gonna name some runners up, but I hate going into a book knowing it has a twist, so I’m not gonna risk spoiling them for others.

28) 🔮 power you’d like to have

To stop time/ travel back in time to change things.

29) 🥊 character you’d punch in the face

Peeta in The Hunger Games

30) 😤 character you loved but now hate

Cause y’know, I’m such a Twilight gal - I used to be Team Jacob....

31) 😻 character you hated but now love

Draco?

32) 😭 death that made you cry the most

I very rarely cry at books but I guess The Deviants by CJ Skuse - although that was because it triggered me haha

33) 😂 the funniest scene

Literally just ALL of Me and Earl and the Dying Girl.

34) 🤢 the grossest scene

I beta read someone’s novel that was filled with random irrelevant incest once. There was an incestuous threesome....

35) 💔 scene that broke your heart

The whole last half of One by Sarah Crossan.

36) 🏹 favourite fantasy book

YUCK, I HATE FANTASY

37) 🚀 favourite sci fi book

BLEUGH SCI FI IS GROSS

38) 🌹 favourite romance book

AGH SO MANY. I guess ANYTHING by Colleen Hoover (but Hopeless/Slammed/Ugly Love in particular). Also Attachments by Rainbow Rowell.

39) 👻 favourite horror book

I don’t think I’ve ever read a Horror book...

40) 🏰 favourite historical fiction book

BLEUGH. I HATE HISTORICAL FICTION

41) 🔫 favourite dystopian book

The Hunger Games - Suzanne Collins

[upthenorthmountain]

Between the Lines - Chapter 1

Prologue here and I’ll make this its own page soon

Modern AU, rated K, 2175 words!! I know!

Chapter 1

One Saturday in early March Kristoff Bjorgman - best-selling author of the Detective Olaf Snøvenn series - found himself pulling up outside a small modern block of flats, about ten miles from his own home. He’d volunteered to drive first, so he was here to collect this Anna Rendell woman so that they could drive to Milton Keynes, of all places. Tonight they were staying at the Milton Keynes Travel Tavern, then tomorrow to Northampton, then home.

He looked at his watch. Right, better go and fetch her.

The intercom buzzed and then there was the clatter of someone fumbling with the handset.

“Hello?”

“Ah, hi, is that Anna Rendell?”

“Yes, are you Chris Bergman?”

“Kristoff Bjorgman.”

“Oh, sorry! Come up! No, wait, I’ll come down, wait there.”

The front door was shouldered open a couple of minutes later by a pretty young woman with long red hair. She was carrying a large cardboard box. “Hi! Great to meet you! Can I put this in your boot?”

He took the box from her automatically. “I’ll do it - don’t you own a suitcase?”

“Of course, it’s upstairs - I’ll just fetch it. That one’s other stuff. Won’t be a sec, hang on, be right back -” and she ran back off and up the stairs behind her.

While he was rearranging the boot of his car she appeared beside him, with a pink case. “This is my actual overnight bag, with my clothes and things - the box is for the bookshop. While we’re at the bookshop.”

“Won’t they have the books there?”

“Yes, of course, but this is - hang on.” She reached past him and pulled the top of the box open. “Colouring sheets, bookmarks - aren’t they cute, these ones are fairy wands and these ones are unicorn horns - and I had some wordsearches but I think they’re all gone - and fairy biscuits.” She opened the cake tin and showed him a pile of star-shaped biscuits covered in pink icing and silver sprinkles. “I only put the bunting up if there’s a good place for it.”

“...huh.”

“I like to think of it as being like a party, you know?”

Kristoff finished stowing everything in the back and they took their seats in the car. “I guess you don’t get many kids at your things, normally,” Anna said.

“I think there was one, once.”

Anna laughed. “It’s so funny they put us together, isn’t it? Our audiences couldn’t be more different.”

“That’s what I said to Sue.”

“As long as they don’t get us mixed up. It’s probably just because we live near each other so they thought we could travel together.”

“Probably.”

They drove along in silence for a bit. “Shall I put the radio on?” Anna said.

“Why?”

She opened and shut her mouth a couple of times. “Because music is nice? But I suppose we don’t have to. How long until we get there?”

He glanced at the satnav. “Hour and a half, maybe.”

“OK.” Anna looked out of the window for a moment. “I like your car. I feel very high up. I’m not so big on leather seats, though, I feel like I’m sliding about and if you wear a skirt, you know, your legs stick….but it’s comfortable.”

“Thanks.”

“And so clean! I shall have to get mine valeted before I let you in it. If you’ll fit, it’s a Corsa. And you’re so tall.”

“Mmm.”

“Do you have any children?”

“No. I live alone.”

“As all mystery authors should! I don’t either. I mean, I don’t have any children, I do live alone...I love kids though. Well, you probably guessed.”

“Yeah, I figured.”

“I’d love to have a daughter one day….though knowing my luck she’d probably hate my books, ha.”

“My niece is seven,” Kristoff found himself volunteering. “I don’t know if she reads your books but she loves all that fairy and unicorn stuff.”

“Really? How lovely - I’ll sign her one if you want.”

“I think we’re up their way in a couple of weeks, my sister said they’d come to the signings.”

“Oh, great! That’ll be nice.”

Kristoff remembered when he’d told his sister who he was travelling with. Katja had immediately looked her up online, and he’d been treated to a round of she’s so pretty! Is she single? Well, now he could answer that question, but he didn’t think his sister should buy a hat just yet. Lord this woman could talk. She was still talking.

“It’s nice to get out of the city, isn’t it? Even on the motorway - is this a motorway or just a dual carriageway? Dual carriageway. The views are good, though - sheep! Did you see the sheep? - I like taking the train usually but it’s nice to be chauffeured. On my first tour I had a driver but I think those days are over! That was mainly in London, anyway.”

“Don’t you want to drive next time?”

“Where’s next time? Brighton? Oh, I love Brighton! You could go to the seaside any time, but you never do, do you? We could have fish and chips on the pier. Where are we eating tonight?”

“No idea. You choose.”

----

Waterstones in the shopping centre in Milton Keynes had a big blackboard by the front door, headed AUTHOR EVENTS. And Kristoff was up first (KRISTOFF BJORGMAN - FIRE & ICE - READING AND Q&A 2PM - SIGNING 2:30PM, and the author photo he’d never liked but his mother loved (‘You look so distinguished’)).

He hated this part. The signing was okay, having the same conversation several times in a row but with just one person at a time, he could do that. Having to stand at the front and talk to an audience was torture.

Well, such audience as there was. Four people, and then Anna, who had insisted on joining in. More people would probably actually be better as then he wouldn’t feel obliged to make eye contact with them each in turn.

No sooner had the last mystery fan shuffled away with his signed copy than the bookshop started rearranging the chairs (moving them further back - for the parents, Anna explained), setting out colouring sheets, putting up bunting. Anna flitted about helping them, laughing and chatting and making all the staff her new best friends. She seemed to be genuinely enjoying herself.

She even arranged the biscuits nicely on a plate. They were quite good.

----

“‘I’m glad to see you, girls,’ Queen Merryhooves said. ‘Some very odd things have been happening here in the Sparkle Realm.’ ‘Is it Emperor Sinistro?’ Ruby asked. She remembered all the times they had helped Queen Merryhooves stop Emperor Sinistro and his naughty mischief monkeys from causing trouble in the Sparkle Realm. But the Queen shook her head and her golden horn shimmered in the sunlight. ‘I don’t think so. In fact, I don’t know who it could be!’” Anna looked up and smiled at her audience, a semi-circle of little girls, watching her with rapt attention. She continued. “The sisters looked at each other. ‘What sort of odd things?’ Pearl asked…”

Kristoff leant against the back wall. Why was he listening to this nonsense? He should have slipped out and got a coffee or something, but he had been a little curious, and now he was trapped - it would look rude to leave in the middle. Half the parents in the chairs at the back of the room were on their phones and the other half were staring into space, but standing he was more visible and felt like he had to pay attention. Tomorrow he’d make a sharper exit.

“Well!” Anna said, closing the book. She was sat cross-legged on a large cushion, with the children sat around her. “Did you all like that?”

“Then what happened?” a little girl with blonde pigtails said.

“Oh, I don’t have time to read it all now, I’m afraid, sweetheart.”

“But I want to know what happens.”

“It was pixies,” an older girl next to her said. “The title is The Puzzling Pixies so it’s going to be about pixies.”

Anna laughed. “You worked it out! Clever you.”

“I don’t read your books any more,” the older girl explained. “I used to but I’m bigger now. My favourite author is Jacqueline Wilson. I’m just here because Poppy wanted to come. She’s my little sister.”

“Well, that’s nice, to do things with your sister.”

“Sisterhood is the strongest magic!” the little girl exclaimed. Anna laughed again. “That’s true! Well, I’m glad you’re all here. Did anyone have anything else they wanted to ask me about? About any of the stories? Not just this one.”

There was silence for a moment. Then another little girl, on the other side of the circle, put her hand up hesitantly. “Yes, flower?”

“Why….”

“Yes?”

“Why does Queen Merryhooves have a GOLD horn but the other unicorns have SILVER horns?”

“Because she’s the Queen, my darling. Unicorns don’t wear crowns, so she has a golden horn instead to show she’s the Queen.”

“Oh...”

“That’s in the first book,” the older girl said firmly. “Queen Merryhooves has her conoration and the fairies make her horn gold with magic because she’s queen now.”

“They do. Well remembered.”

“And Ruby and Pearl have ice cream,” another child volunteered.

“They do! What’s your favourite flavour of ice cream?”

-----

“Did I hear one little girl tell you her mum said they weren’t buying the book today, they were going to get it from the library?”

Anna laughed and put down her menu. “Yes. Don’t worry, I’ve heard that one before, I don’t take it personally. Probably half the people at yours were thinking that even if they didn’t say it.”

“True.”

“She’ll read it, anyway. That’s why you write, isn’t it? To be read.”

“The sales are nice.”

“Well, of course.”

The waitress came over and took their order. Anna had found a Zizzi that was walking distance from the hotel (“How about Italian? I feel like pizza, how about you? Or they do pasta and other things as well, is that okay?” He really hadn’t cared).

“So what do you read?” Kristoff asked.

Anna tilted her head to one side. “What do you think I read?”

“I don’t know. Fantasy, I guess. Romance. Austen.”

Anna nodded. “Not far out. Not super into fantasy but I read it, mainly modern stuff. Not Mills & Boon or bodice-rippers but I do like love stories. ‘Women’s fiction’ because men’s fiction is just fiction….and yes, Austen. And I think you read a lot of mysteries.”

“Because I write them?”

“Yes - and I think you like puzzles. I read your book. It’s very well put-together.”

“Thank you. Yeah, I guess I like working out how all the pieces of the story go together. It’s satisfying.”

“Did you like mine?” Then she burst out laughing. “Your face! It’s okay, I know you haven’t read it.”

“I’m sorry - I was going to, but -”

“But then you remembered you’re an adult man and not a seven-year-old girl. It’s okay. Not everything is for everyone. I would never have picked yours up if we weren’t doing this tour together.”

“Well, thanks for helping my numbers.”

“Oh, I didn't buy it, I got it out of the library.”

-----

His hotel room seemed very quiet that evening.

-----

On the drive to Northampton Kristoff relented and let Anna put the radio on. It did stop her chatter to a certain degree, but he hadn’t anticipated it would lead to quite so much singing.

Anna found the local station, and it played a lot of songs that she knew, and she sang along to all of them. If she wasn’t sure of the words she guessed, and if she didn’t know them at all she hummed. She even sang along to the station jingle (“This - is - HEART!”). Fortunately her voice was fairly good, and it only took half an hour or so for her to stop encouraging him to sing as well.

Maybe for next week he’d bring her a big bag of toffee. Or a gag.

The day gradually got worse. There was nowhere to park in Northampton and they ended up with a ten-minute walk to the bookshop, Kristoff carrying Anna’s big box of colouring pages and bunting (she insisted on carrying the biscuit tin). Only two people turned up for his reading, and twenty-seven - counting children and adults - to Anna’s. And on the walk back to the car afterwards it started raining and didn’t stop all the way home.

It was properly dark by the time he left Anna, her box and her little pink suitcase outside her flat. She invited him in for a cup of tea but Kristoff couldn’t take one more minute of someone talking without his head exploding so he declined as politely as he could manage and drove himself home.

At the end of the road his phone pinged and he checked it at the traffic light.

thanks so much for doing all the driving this weekend!!

my turn next time, see you soon

Anna x

[ofviolentdeath]

Characters::Avalon and Henry Word Count:: 564

She knew there was no real reason for her to keep with tradition anymore. Henry’s spirit had passed on years ago. She knew because she had spoken to him that day. She knew because she had given her brother the coins to ferry him across the river. But it still hadn’t stopped her from sitting around Jackson Square with his old dog tags around her neck. 

“You’re an idiot,” she muttered to herself, dark eyes scanning the small gathering of people milling about it. It was mostly locals, tourists seldom wandered this late at night, so it was pleasantly quiet. 

Even still, she couldn’t shake the weird feeling of being watched.

He had noticed her pretty quickly. The leather jacket in the sweltering summer heat was just too out of place. But there was something about her that he couldn’t quite place at first. Like he knew her or something. A faded dream verging on a nearly lost memory, he supposed. He had been overwhelmed by a sense of deja vu since he had gotten to New Orleans a couple months before.

But then she spoke and something clicked. The girl from his dreams. The ones that took place even further from his hometown than this place. Memories of black wings and a promise. 

“You’re real...”

It wasn’t a proper greeting, not by a long shot, but he was too unsettled to come up with anything more polite.

His voice was different but she knew the feel of his spirit far too well. How could she ever possibly forget? But he wasn’t supposed to remember, that wasn’t how any of this was supposed to work. 

“Henry.”

He didn’t look the same, but he was young again. Maybe a little younger than he had been when he had died. The last time she had seen him he had been a spirit, a ghost that should have long since passed along. She hadn’t expected him to be reborn so quickly after finally crossing over.

“I thought you were just a dream.” He had had a fair few dreams of her over the years, but the idea of an actual immortal had seemed more far fetched than the way he knew this city from the moment he had set foot in it. 

“Katja...no, you changed it. I remember. I remember talking to you here but you said you were called something else now. I can’t remember what it was.”

“Avalon,” she answered softly, unable to wipe the shock from her face. 

“That’s right. Avalon. We were...friends? Once? Before I died.” It was fuzzy, but it was there. She had promised not to let him linger between living and dying, to pull his soul so he didn’t feel his death. He remembered that she had cried. 

“Yeah, we were friends.” Not that she had been the best of friends at the time.

“You punched a nazi in the face once.”

She snorted at that, eyes rolling. “More than once.”

“You taught me to smoke.”

“I was a bad influence and you shouldn’t still be smoking,” she sighed, leaning over and plucking the unlit cigarette from his lips. “These things will kill you.”

That made him laugh, the sound easy but a little bitter. “Can’t be worse than gettin’ shot.”

“It’s slower.”

“You wouldn’t let me suffer like that.”

He was right, but she didn’t want to admit that.