#we won’t know until a future S3 update and part of me is like. I should wait until then

[interactivefictionramblings]

[HSR spoilers.]

I’m about to replay S2E2 and I’m just thinking “I sure hope I’m making the right decision about those snowmobiles.” 🥴

[inevitably-johnlocked]

Hello lovely!! I’m a sucker for Sherlock comforting John after nightmares or just ptsd episodes, and was curious if you know of any? And/or any fics where johns old shoulder injury is bothering him and Sherlock helps :) I just need all the caring fluff ☺️

Hey Nonny!

Ahhhh!! Yes, I have quite a few Nightmares/PTSD fics, and I’m going to use this opportunity to update my past lists since I have a nice collection of more! As for the shoulder injury, I believe Maintenance and Repair by patternofdefiance has Sherlock doing that, but I can’t recall. I’ll start a separate list offline for Shoulder Injuries perhaps. Hmm. Actually, you might find some good Caring Sherlock fics on these lists:

John Whump / Sherlock Takes Care of John

John Whump / Sherlock Takes Care of John Pt. 2

John Whump / Sherlock Takes Care of John Pt. 3

Scars

Scars Pt. 2

Now, for the main event!! Hope you enjoy, and as always, Loves, add your own!

NIGHTMARES, PTSD, PANIC ATTACKS & MENTAL/EMOTIONAL TURMOIL Pt. 3

See also:

Nightmares, PTSD, Panic Attack, & Mental / Emotional Turmoil

Nightmares, PTSD, Panic Attack, & Mental / Emotional Turmoil Pt. 2

NIGHTMARES

Study in John by chappysmom (K+, 2,158 w., 1 Ch. || Post-ASiP, POV John, Introspection, Friendship, Nightmares, Caring Sherlock, John’s Limp) – After the events of "A Study in Pink," John lies on the couch in Baker Street and thinks about the whirlwind events of the day. What is he getting himself into?

Sleepless nights by El loopy (T, 5,467 w., 3 Ch. || Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, Nightmares/Insomnia, Panic Attack, Worried Sherlock) – Sherlock has a nightmare and John wants to know what it was about. Set during season 1. Three-shot.

What Did I Do Wrong? by Starlight05 (T, 7,880 w. || Hurt Comfort, Angst, John Whump, Hospitalization, Worried Sherlock, Emotional Turmoil, Nightmares, Sherlock Being Dumb) - After John almost dies on a case, Sherlock disappears. So John is left to figure out what he can do to get his best friend back. Meanwhile Sherlock, guilt-ridden and willingly alone, is doing everything he can to stay away.

Lunar Landscapes by J_Baillier (M, 57,046 w., 21 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || S3/TAB Fix-It, Slow Burn Angst, Drama, Hurt/Comfort, Confessions, Drugs, Pain, Medical, Injury, Sherlock Whump, Mental Health Issues, Panic Attacks, Romance, Secrets, Tragedy, Trauma, BAMF John, Doctor!John, Drug Addict Sherlock, Injured Sherlock, Grieving John, Idiots In Love, Protective John, POV John Watson, PTSD Sherlock, Sherlock is a Mess, Medical Realism) – An accident forces John to face the fact that Sherlock's downward spiral had started long before his flight to exile even left the tarmac.

Just To Hold You Close by sussexbound (E, 70,841 w., 18 Ch. || Alternate First Meeting, Sherlock POV, ASD Sherlock, PTSD John, Demisexual Sherlock, Bisexual John, Cuddling/Snuggling, Platonic Cuddling, Enthusiastic Consent, Bed Sharing, Love Confessions, First Kiss/Time, Sexual Tension, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Cuddle Negotiations, For a Case Until It Isn’t, Hair Petting, Sexual Negotiation, Anxiety, Trust Issues, Slow Burn, Panic Attacks, Frottage, Hand/Blow Jobs, Referenced Self Harm / Abuse / Suicidal Ideation, First Kiss/Time, Anal) – When a woman is murdered and the last person to see her alive is recently invalided army vet turned reluctant (and prickly) professional cuddler, John Watson, Sherlock Holmes is pulled into a world of intimacy and intrigue he never could have imagined. John is a conundrum and mystery: frank yet reserved, tender yet angry, open yet afraid. Sherlock is instantly drawn into his orbit, and begins to feel and desire things he never has before.

Not Broken, Just Bent by Schmiezi (E, 87,585 w., 43 Ch. || Pining, Love Confessions, Rape/Sexual Assault, Torture, Hurt/Comfort, Heavy Angst, Villain!Mary, Suicidal Ideations, Main Character Death, Sherlock First Person POV, Parentlock, Sherlock’s Mind Palace, Grief/Mourning, Emotional Love Making, Possessiveness, Depression, PTSD, Kidnapping, Virgin Sherlock, Eventual Happy Ending) – "For a second, I allow myself to remember teaching John how to waltz. There is a special room in my mind palace for it. A big one, with a proper parquet dance floor. For a second, I go there. I remember holding him, closer than the World Dance Council asks for, excusing it with the fact that we are training for a wedding, not for a competition. For a second, I feel his hand on mine again, smell his sweat, hear the song we used. For a second, I allow myself to love him deeply. For a second, only a second, that love reflects on my face." Fix-it for S3, starting at the end of TSoT. Evil Mary.

The Summer Boy by khorazir (T, 94,706 w., 6 Ch. || Post S3/Post TAB/Alternate S4, Friends to Lovers, Asexual Sherlock, POV Sherlock, Flashbacks, Bullying, 1980′s Kid Sherlock, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Inexperienced Sherlock, Grief/Mourning, Pining Sherlock, Case Fic, Sherlock’s Past, Awkward Conversations, Anxious Sherlock) – About half a year after the fateful events at Appledore, Sherlock and John embark on a private case in Sussex. For Sherlock, it’s a journey into his past, bringing up memories both happy and sad that he has locked away for almost thirty years. For John, it means coming to terms with the present – and a potential future with Sherlock. Part 1 of the The Summer Boy series

Against the Rest of the World by SilentAuror (E, 151,714 w., 20 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Post-TRF, Hiatus Fic, POV First Person Sherlock, Present Tense, First Kiss/Time, Big Brother Mycroft, Escaping from Capture, Soft Sherlock, Toplock, Insecurity, Infidelity, Travelling, Introspection, Pining Sherlock, Depression, Fantasies, Yearning for the Past, PTSD Sherlock, Suicidal Ideation) – Sherlock has been away from London for nine hundred and twelve days and counting, and has no idea what sort of reception to expect when he finally returns.

Proving A Point by elldotsee & J_Baillier (E, 186,270 w., 28 Ch. || Me Before You Fusion || Medical Realism, Insecure John, Depression, Romance, Angst, POV John, Sherlock Whump, Serious Illness, Doctor John, Injury Recovery, Assisted Suicide, Sherlock’s Violin, Awkward Sexual Situations, Alcoholism, Drugs, Idiots in Love, Slow Burn, Body Image, Friends to Lovers, Hurt / Comfort, Pain, Big Brother Mycroft, Intimacy, Anxiety, PTSD, Family Issues, Psychological Trauma, John Whump, Case Fics, Loneliness, Pain) – Invalided home from Afghanistan, running out of funds and convinced that his surgical career is over, John Watson accepts a mysterious job offer to provide care and companionship for a disabled person. Little does he know how much hangs in the balance of his performance as he settles into his new life at Musgrave Court.

PTSD / EMOTIONAL TURMOIL

A Room of One's Own by whitchry9 (K+, 2,174 w., 5 Ch. || S2 Timeline, Hurt/Comfort, Supernatural, Sherlock’s Mind Palace, Coma, John Whump, Worried Sherlock, POV John, Angst, Friendship/Bromance, Hospital) – When a severe head injury lands John in a coma, somehow he ends up in Sherlock's mind palace. It's actually pretty nice there, and John is entertaining the notion of staying there, rather than returning to his broken body. But Sherlock isn't taking it as well, and John can feel him breaking around him.

Museums and Laboratories by RhododendronPonticum (T, 3,004 w., 1 Ch. || Romance, Angst, Obsessive Sherlock, Anxious Sherlock, Anxiety/Panic Attack, Separation Anxiety, Doctor John, Co-Dependent Sherlock) – If Sherlock's kitchen was his laboratory, then his bedroom was his museum.

A Home for Us by sussexbound (M, 30,581 w., 12 Ch. || Scars, Bedsharing, Grief, Doctor John, Hurt/Comfort, Post-TRF, Implied/Referenced Torture, Sherlock POV, Pining Sherlock, Suicidal Ideation, Heavy Emotions, Clingy Sherlock, Hallucinations, Disassociation, Emotional Turmoil) – He has been on the road for two years, and he is exhausted. He’s almost accepted that he will never see London (John) again—almost. But then there are nights like tonight, where he is weak, and all he can think of is the warmth of the flat they once shared, the crackle of the fire in the hearth, the teasing smile playing at the corner of John’s lips, the boxes of half-eaten Chinese takeaway balanced precariously in their laps. He aches at the memory of it, at the realisation that it is something he may never experience again.

Impossible to Feign by achray (M, 49,204 w., 12 Ch. || TRF Rewrite / Reverse Reichenbach, Suicidal Ideations / Discussions, Drug Use/Abuse, Mutual Pining, Friends With Benefits, John Accepts his Sexuality, Anxious Sherlock, Meddling Mycroft, Depression, Hallucinations, Secret Agent John, BAMF John, Reunion, Make-Up Sex, Ambiguous Ending) – Sherlock leant forward, his long fingers curving round to grip John’s.“I won’t let him win,” he said, eyes hard. “I will do whatever it takes to get you out.”

Anchor Point by trickybonmot (E, 49,856 w., 80 Ch. || Truman Show AU || Psychological Drama, Suspense, Slow Burn, Dark Characters / Fic, Alternating First/Third Person, Protective John, Anxious/Worried Sherlock, Tender Moments, Love Confessions, Hand/Blow Jobs, Cuddling, Jealous John, First Kiss/Time) – The world tunes in nightly for Sherlock, the ultimate in reality TV: Sherlock Holmes, a real person with a legendary name, unknowingly lives out his life in a staged setting contrived by his brother. Things get complicated when a retired army doctor joins the show to play the part of Sherlock's closest friend. This fic borrows its concept from the 1998 film, the Truman Show. However, you don't need to have any knowledge of the movie to enjoy this story.

Lunar Landscapes by J_Baillier (M, 57,046 w., 21 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || S3/TAB Fix-It, Slow Burn Angst, Drama, Hurt/Comfort, Confessions, Drugs, Pain, Medical, Injury, Sherlock Whump, Mental Health Issues, Panic Attacks, Romance, Secrets,  Tragedy, Trauma, BAMF John, Doctor!John, Drug Addict Sherlock, Injured Sherlock, Grieving John, Idiots In Love, Protective John, POV John Watson, PTSD Sherlock, Sherlock is a Mess, Medical Realism) – An accident forces John to face the fact that Sherlock's downward spiral had started long before his flight to exile even left the tarmac.

Repairing the Broken Things by BakerTumblings (M, 75,252 w., 15 Ch. || S4 Compliant, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Medical Trauma, Hospitals, Big Brother Mycroft, Misunderstandings, Realizations, Severe Accident, John Whump, Pneumonia, Medical Procedures, Bed Sharing, First Time, Healing, Happy Ending) – "I'm calling today to notify you that there's been an accident."

Not Broken, Just Bent by Schmiezi (E, 87,585 w., 43 Ch. || Pining, Love Confessions, Rape/Sexual Assault, Torture, Hurt/Comfort, Heavy Angst, Villain!Mary, Suicidal Ideations, Main Character Death, Sherlock First Person POV, Parentlock, Sherlock’s Mind Palace, Grief/Mourning, Emotional Love Making, Possessiveness, Depression, PTSD, Kidnapping, Virgin Sherlock, Eventual Happy Ending) – "For a second, I allow myself to remember teaching John how to waltz. There is a special room in my mind palace for it. A big one, with a proper parquet dance floor. For a second, I go there. I remember holding him, closer than the World Dance Council asks for, excusing it with the fact that we are training for a wedding, not for a competition. For a second, I feel his hand on mine again, smell his sweat, hear the song we used. For a second, I allow myself to love him deeply. For a second, only a second, that love reflects on my face." Fix-it for S3, starting at the end of TSoT. Evil Mary.

Just To Hold You Close by sussexbound (E, 70,841 w., 18 Ch. || Alternate First Meeting, Sherlock POV, ASD Sherlock, PTSD John, Demisexual Sherlock, Bisexual John, Cuddling/Snuggling, Platonic Cuddling, Enthusiastic Consent, Bed Sharing, Love Confessions, First Kiss/Time, Sexual Tension, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Cuddle Negotiations, For a Case Until It Isn’t, Hair Petting, Sexual Negotiation, Anxiety, Trust Issues, Slow Burn, Panic Attacks, Frottage, Hand/Blow Jobs, Referenced Self Harm / Abuse / Suicidal Ideation, First Kiss/Time, Anal) – When a woman is murdered and the last person to see her alive is recently invalided army vet turned reluctant (and prickly) professional cuddler, John Watson, Sherlock Holmes is pulled into a world of intimacy and intrigue he never could have imagined. John is a conundrum and mystery: frank yet reserved, tender yet angry, open yet afraid. Sherlock is instantly drawn into his orbit, and begins to feel and desire things he never has before.

The Summer Boy by khorazir (T, 94,706 w., 6 Ch. || Post S3/Post TAB/Alternate S4, Friends to Lovers, Asexual Sherlock, POV Sherlock, Flashbacks, Bullying, 1980′s Kid Sherlock, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Inexperienced Sherlock, Grief/Mourning, Pining Sherlock, Case Fic, Sherlock’s Past, Awkward Conversations, Anxious Sherlock) – About half a year after the fateful events at Appledore, Sherlock and John embark on a private case in Sussex. For Sherlock, it’s a journey into his past, bringing up memories both happy and sad that he has locked away for almost thirty years. For John, it means coming to terms with the present – and a potential future with Sherlock. Part 1 of the The Summer Boy series

Northwest Passage by Kryptaria (E, 95,157 w., 27 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Canadian AU ||  BAMF!John, Canadian John, PTSD, Anal / Oral Sex, Rimming, Emotional Hurt / Comfort, Drug Rehab, Falling in Love, Pining Sherlock, Love Confessions, Sherlock’s Violin, Panic Attacks, Switching, Anxious / Protective Sherlock, Hugs for Comfort, Suicide Mentions, Healing Each Other) – Seven years ago, Captain John Watson of the Canadian Forces Medical Service withdrew from society, seeking a simple, isolated life in the distant northern wilderness of Canada. Though he survives from one day to the next, he doesn't truly live until someone from his dark past calls in a favor and turns his world upside-down with the introduction of Sherlock Holmes." Part 1 of Tales from the Northwest

Against the Rest of the World by SilentAuror (E, 151,714 w., 20 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Post-TRF, Hiatus Fic, POV First Person Sherlock, Present Tense, First Kiss/Time, Big Brother Mycroft, Escaping from Capture, Soft Sherlock, Toplock, Insecurity, Infidelity, Travelling, Introspection, Pining Sherlock, Depression, Fantasies, Yearning for the Past, PTSD Sherlock, Suicidal Ideation) – Sherlock has been away from London for nine hundred and twelve days and counting, and has no idea what sort of reception to expect when he finally returns.

Proving A Point by elldotsee & J_Baillier (E, 186,270 w., 28 Ch. || Me Before You Fusion || Medical Realism, Insecure John, Depression, Romance, Angst, POV John, Sherlock Whump, Serious Illness, Doctor John, Injury Recovery, Assisted Suicide, Sherlock’s Violin, Awkward Sexual Situations, Alcoholism, Drugs, Idiots in Love, Slow Burn, Body Image, Friends to Lovers, Hurt / Comfort, Pain, Big Brother Mycroft, Intimacy, Anxiety, PTSD, Family Issues, Psychological Trauma, John Whump, Case Fics, Loneliness, Pain) – Invalided home from Afghanistan, running out of funds and convinced that his surgical career is over, John Watson accepts a mysterious job offer to provide care and companionship for a disabled person. Little does he know how much hangs in the balance of his performance as he settles into his new life at Musgrave Court.

[mnkiss]

A quick list of animes I watched and don’t want to forget:

Mushishi - pure, haunting beauty, 10/10 recommend especially when you want some clarity and calmness in your life. You’ll cry tho

K - the amount of tears I shed TwT I literally miss the characters. Weird af world and story, but somehow I got attached. There should be K: seven stories somewhere but I can’t find it... Also: this whole we’re a bunch of problematic people who become a family is a trope I’ll never get tired of

Tokyo Ghoul - S1 and S2 feel like one huge story and it’s just the beginning so buckle up... There are 2 OVAs (Jack and Pinto) that help with understanding Re: (S3) and then there is S4 which is apparently only the most important parts of the manga... I understand why so many people think that s4 is ridiculous, but the first 3 seasons are great. The manga is a must for the anime tho, bc the last season is a joke, so if you can, read the manga first. With that said, the censorship is terrible so if you can, watch it without the weird black and white patches that take up half the screen, because the animation, the fights, the colours are all extremely vibrant and alive, just like the characters. What being human means, why the police feel like they are doing god’s work when they kill innocents along with the psychos, what a family is, can we be selfish for others, and many more questions are discussed here, all while somebody gets gutted. S2 was much more like a filler than a normal season, but still, I cried, and the whole anime is awesome so watch it if you can. (If you get upset when humans are able to endure more than supernatural beings then it’s not your show, bc even though humans are supposed to be, you know, humans, they are still able to kill tens of ghouls with a fucking hole inside of them.)

Attack on Titan - got tired of waiting after s2... No mystery is worth more than a year of waiting lol

Black butler - I need to get around and watch the book of atlantis. Great story, Sebastian is everything and more, and the aesthetic is something I’ll never forget. The music fits perfectly, and the foods make me drool. It has the “big picture”, as well as small journeys where you can get to know your favourite characters which I appreciate. S2 was not something I enjoyed, but the book of circus was worth it as well as most ova’s.

Darker than black - THEY MUST CONTINUE IT BRING HEI BACK PLEASE PLEASE I CAN’T I JUST CAN’T - also s2′s opening makes me cry. Dolls and Contractors work together as a team, then alone, then again as a team... it was a wild ride. Awesome character development, great plot and world building. Sadly they cut their story and future at s2 for some reason... If I ever watch it again I watch Gaiden before Gemini tho - a lot less confusion and disappointment this way.

Bungou Stray Dogs - loving it with my whole heart can’t wait to watch it again because there is literally NO character I don’t love. It has pretty boys, crime, mystery, magical abilities and comedy alongside the surprisingly deep issues. The art style is otherworldly, everything is so PRETTY and CAPTURING ugh *-*. It also made me read lots of books again (especially Japanese literature which was new for me) ^^ (Who doesn’t ship Dazai and Chuuya... And Poe is a baby too)

Noragami - cute, very cute, I love it when the main character is powerful af yet has a silly, loving side. Also: you can learn a bit about gods and religion

Assassination Classroom - tears. all of them. tears. It’s not what I expected but still, the little assassins and the teacher’s relationship was perfect.

Another - i watched it for the dolls and the umbrella meme. Liked it? yes. Do I remember anything else tho? Not really

Parasyte - one of the first animes I’ve ever watched. Loved it. ^^ Migi was great, all the issues it brings up were thought provoking, and it has gore.

Hellsing - idk it had too many monologues and ideologies, didn’t finish it

Psycho-Pass - In short: cyberpunk future, systematic oppression, immigrants, killing with permission and other moral or societal issues, plus charismatic characters and gore. The watching order: S1, S2, Sinners of the system, S3, First inspector. Wonderful buildup, dynamic storytelling, great mystery elements, and of course the found family/teamwork will always be a favourite of mine. The writing is extra detailed, every character is 3D, their responses, beliefs and cultures are tied together perfectly, the chemistry between characters is relatable and although everybody seems to live by one goal only, it’s not as dull as one would think. It also has some great book recommendations, literature and philosophers play a big role, which is always a bonus. 10/10. I really hope we will get extra contents and S4 in the future.

Steins Gate - I can’t bring myself to watch the last 2 episodes of S1 lol. It starts slowly but it’s much better paced than I remembered. The anime heavily relies on the characters which are sadly very 2D: the haughty but loving, the cute but tragic, the clever weeb, the loving tsundere... and for some fucking reason every single girl loves the mad scientist who... doesn’t really show love or sometimes not even respect towards the others until the last half of the show, so I don’t particularly care about their fate, but I watch it bc I don’t want to leave it unfinished. Because people are so into it I thought maybe the story will be... flabbergasting, shocking or just a masterwork, but the whole time travelling thingy, all the rules, all the paralel worlds work very conveniently. There were some great twists that I loved, some that I saw coming and some that I didn’t, but the story itself isn’t the best and even the plottwists won’t help that.

Full metal alchemist - i watched many, many episodes. I liked it. But it lost me. Anyways, I looked up the story and it sounds interesting, lots of plot twists, great conspiracy theories etc. The main character was a bit... annoying. My main problem is that they were children cuz I can only get immersed in the adult characters’ stories...

Durarara!! - s1 was great I love gang and mystery stuff, BUT I stopped watching it bc I was only immersed in the adult characters’ stories...

The Ancient Magus' Bride - it’s a gory fairy tale, with two toxic but loveable characters who learn a lot, evolve a lot and become real companions. There is lots of touching, head pats and affection. <3 Seasond 2 is very much needed, I want to see more episodic journey elements like the cat kingdom episodes were, and perhaps cry just a little less. Pro tip: when you watched the first 12 eps you should watch the 3 episode ova and then the next 12 eps ;) Oh, and expect tears mostly from happiness

Devilman Crybaby - I was the crybaby. The ending is beautiful, the art style was great, it literally pulsed through my eyes sometimes. Awesome characters, weird storyline, sad ending.

Death Parade - another anime that made me cry :) Beautiful art style, immersive story, interesting take on the afterlife, moral issues. It had everything I needed,

Juni Taisen - It wasn’t the craziest or most cunning anime of all times, but I cared about the characters and I really wanted to know how it ends, so it was good i guess

Kekkai Sensen - i watched s1 and I didn’t care anymore...

BEASTARS - it was one hell of a ride. Interesting world, great conflict, highschoolers and gore... also I think there was a sudden rise in the numbers of furries while it aired. It’s art style however was too cgi-y, too smooth for me :/

Re: Zero - the main character is a little bitch i hated him but i stayed for the plot. I don’t really like love interests when one party is only loved because they look perfect... i really wish we got more seasons and explanations  s2 is on the horizon, but I doubt I’ll ever watch it

Updated it see in reblog

Also in conclusion, what do i need in an anime? 1) adults 2) superpowers 3) found family 4) a brooding, powerful af main character 5) action and mystery (plus gore) 6) chemistry between characters 7) side characters that matter 8) tissues

Any recs?

[sonatanotwo]

does this mean Thunderbirds are go is over for good?

Gosh… this becomes a loaded question when it’s put into my inbox. 😂

As things stand currently, the show is finished. Rob’s message on twitter was the first real confirmation we had that this was it. It was really weird how it wasn’t until an HOUR before the finale, TAGHQ FINALLY said it was the final episode instead of the finale of season 3, as it had even said the DAY before. X_xa That was a hell of a weird marketing decision. But then ITV hasn’t really been very good at being straight with us any time.

Now, this isn’t to say it was cancelled… TV shows do just come to an end. Being cancelled is usually when crew even expect the show to go on and the plug gets unexpectedly pulled for whatever reason. Given the episode we got… it was written to tie a lot up, so it would stand as a good final ending… (But certainly, the door is totally open if they even wanted to continue.) yeah. This is no cancellation going on.

But I will note, Rob did say how in this business ‘Never say never.’ (Along with how he’d love to have more TAG too!) And Lee Majors did in an interview express he’d like to continue if it gets picked up for a 4th season.

These aren’t words of people who’ve been told that is most definitely the absolute last TAG/Thunderbirds thing ever. lol More episodes (or whatever!) isn’t on the table at the moment… but I think it’s presumptuous to assume there is absolutely ZERO chance some new TAG or Thunderbirds related thing won’t ever be made ever. And let us all keep in mind, Season 3 has also been yet to go to other countries… it may be done for the uk, but north america, japan, etc. are only up to season 2. We will have to keep an eye on who picks it up, because how well it does in other places might also play a role in what’s next for the franchise.

Basically, it’s all on ITV right now cause they’re the ones who own the franchise and have the money to fund these things. 

They’ve just made a huge amount of new fans, on top of the existing ones and even created some new international fans too! I highly doubt they’re gonna just go and shelve it for another 10+ years. (Be downright idiotic imho >.>) Heck, even a few months ago the toy world magazine reported there was meant to be another wave of toys shortly… I’m hoping there will be some update about it soon. =Oa Cause if that goes through it goes to show ITV still thinks there’s an interest in TAG. …I mean, heck to partner with another toy company part way into a final season to make a SECOND toyline was very interesting.

SO yeah. We just gotta see what happens and keep making it clear to ITV there are people who want more Thunderbirds. Keep watching the show if you catch it on tv … if you like merch and toys… scoop em’ up XD And just keep being active and prove there’s an audience that craves more. The show being over doesn’t mean the fandom can’t grow… and again, S3 has a lot of places still to play which could bring in more folks. =D So yeah, I think that’s the most important thing to do right now.

Who knows what we could get in the future… Though I have a feeling whatever it would be would never be as TAG was… because I think the biggest issue for TAG was, as amazing as it was… using the real sets and models in combo with CGI was a huge undertaking. More than I still feel a lot of people understand and give credit to. I’d think if some new Thunderbirds (or even TAG!) related thing came along it might have to go full CGI or something like that, cause it would be far cheaper and faster to make.

ANYHOO, sorry for the long reply. XD I’ve had a lot of thoughts on this as you can see. XDDD I’ve just seen SO many being all THAT’S IT NO MORE ARE EVER BEING MADE EVER. lol And it’s like… yeah, it’s done, but… this is a franchise… it’s frickin’ THUNDERBIRDS. To assume the coffin is nailed shut for good I think is foolish. It seems pretty unlikely we’ll get another season (BUT still I would never say it’s impossible… if Rob’s sayin’ that, I can say that. XD) …but if ITV doesn’t look at it’s future options for the franchise in general, I’d be shocked.

And just… shit, if you told me even like 5 years ago I’d have a Dark Crystal series with puppets and everything, I’d have NEVER believed it. Shit can happen.

[aparticularbandit]

Current State of Bandit Fic

The last official one of these was in May, and then the last other update of a general updating schedule magnitude was in July, so...it’s been a while, so it’s time for another one of these, I think.

Under the cut because I know these tend to get long and not everyone wants to read all of it and apologies to mobile users because I don’t think the cut works for y’all.  Sorry!

plans for the rest of the year in terms of updates:

I’ve updated my word count this month to 1.5k daily instead of 1k daily and then plan to up it to 2k daily during Nanowrimo - and then if that’s able to hold, I’m hoping to keep that daily 2k up during December (but with the holidays, who knows).

I really like doing those polls before the Monday updates to see what y’all want and then posting that - and I think, with the variations in what I have in backlog, that maybe works better until I have a bunch of backlog for a bunch of different projects (like how I had Carla finished and had Luisa and the Fox finished and so was really just alternating new writing in between ... was it maybe once a month?) - so I think, come November, I’ll probably do that again.  That way I’m updating projects I have stuff written for and don’t feel constrained to projects I don’t have written updates for and might feel constrained trying to write updates.

October is still Kiss Prompts Month - I do have fall prompts, too, but other than one, they’re unfinished and probably won’t get posted until November.

October Monday updates will also continue to be for Luisa and the Wolf because that is your spoopy Halloween holiday fic.  Huzzah.

November is Nanowrimo, but given the writing this month, I should be okay in terms of keeping up the Monday schedule.

I have:

one (1) chapter of Falling

two (2) chapters of Aftershocks

one (1) fall prompt

two (2) chapters of Bitches Get Glitches

potentially three if i split that third chapter up into two chapters, which i’m still seriously considering doing.

Those should cover the four Monday updates in November if I don’t write other stuff for them.

My focus for the rest of the year in terms of finishing something is to finish the rough draft of the first book of the Roisa HP AU.  That’s the book I’m planning to focus on during Nanowrimo, and hopefully I’ll be able to get the rough done so that I can get the first book to y’all sometime next year.

Roisa Secret Santa is a thing!  I’m organizing that and I hope that goes off really well!

I may do Christmas or holiday prompts in December - because I really like having short little prompts to work on when I don’t want to dive into a deeper chapter - something short to write instead of something longer is oddly nice - so we’ll see about that.

I also want to finish one of the Christmas fics I started last year, but it’s not good in terms of word count - like...you’ll understand if I post it - but that’s...a high priority.

Other than that, I don’t know what the Monday updates in December will be, but we can cross that bridge when we get there.

general fic updates (aka - i mostly stop using capital letters for whatever reason):

posted but incomplete fics:

if you lived here, you’d be home now:

no one’s asked but it’s been months since an update and it’s not that i don’t want to update, it’s that it’s been long enough that i feel i should finish a reread of what’s posted before starting the next chapter and i keep dragging my feet on that.

i actually have a good idea of what happens in the next several chapters, so that’s not the issue, it’s just getting myself to finish the reread and then actually doing the writing.

there’s still a lot of chapters left.  sorry?  maybe i’m sorry for not updating more regularly now that ACAL is finished. :/

jane: the real story:

this is on back-burner because, even though i’m really salty, i’ve found that when i hit hey, it’s time to write petra! i run into a wall of okay, but i know people love petra, and i know she has a very specific voice and tone and then i get kind of...overwhelmed and worried that she’ll be ooc.  which is probably why i haven’t written the next chapter yet (michael isn’t really like this, but he might be - and raf isn’t like this at all because raf in j:trs is meant to be a commentary on...raf).  i think it’s that i don’t have a well enough grip of writing petra closer to canon to feel up to par writing her in this situation.  maybe?  idk.

i know this is one of the most ... whatever fics on ao3 when it comes to my fics, so like, i’m aware of that, it’s just...back-burner right now.

heart in motion:

i actually started the second chapter of this a while back.  i should finish that.  if so, you might see it in a monday update poll   we’ll see.

luisa and the child:

aka the sequel to luisa and the fox

i have the first...two?  three? idk chapters written.  i’m still feeling out the plot - i have a good idea of bits and pieces of it, but i’m still waiting on those to come together in one cohesive thing.

similar to the last three chapters of luisa and the fox, i don’t plan on posting these until i’ve got the entire thing roughed out and gone through a second write.  maybe a beta.  not sure on that one yet.

sin rostro:

this is another one of those petra is an important character who shows up in the next chapter and i’m not sure i’ll write her well issues.  holding off on this one.

emilia antonia:

i have a general idea for what happens in the next chapter, as well as a general idea of what happens in the rest of the fic.  this one’s a matter of me sitting down and focusing on it and writing it, and i’ve been in a bandit writes lint fic headspace recently, which doesn’t bother me.

falling:

i feel like i should go back and resee some of the episodes of hannibal with margot in s2 and s3 and then review a bit of muskrat farm in s3 (as well as some of alana in s3) because that’s where lu is in chapter three.  because i haven’t, i’ve been holding off on writing this one, too, even though i...have a general idea of things that happen throughout the fic. but no real ending.

also maybe have a crack fic planned that would technically be a sequel to this one but would really be a crack fic.  maybe.  we’ll see.

aftershocks:

have two new chapters for y’all written.

have a general idea of what happens in the next chapter.

have a general idea of things that happen in later chapters but not sure where those chapters are in terms of how immediate they are, if that makes sense.

the time of your life:

bitches get glitches is completely done in terms of second write, so each chapter would probably just need a precursory read-through in terms of grammar/spelling/etc. and other minor edits.

with the exception of what would be the third chapter if i split the current third chapter into two chapters - the roisa scene probably warrants a little more than just a precursory read-through before posting.

i’ve started the next fic, which is rafael’s fic.  the next one would be petra’s.

basically, each of the first however many fics (four) focuses on one character and their encounters with their soulmate timer.

one screwed up family focused on rose, even though it also included luisa’s past with her timer.

bitches get glitches focuses on jane, even though it also includes carry-over updates on what’s been going on with luisa and rose since the first fic.

the third fic focuses on rafael.

the fourth fic focuses on petra.

at this point, i have a fairly good idea of when each of these five characters’ timers went off and when they might go off in future fics (i’d be more specific here, but spoilers!).

after those four, i would want to write a fifth fic that wraps things up - but this is kind of dependent on where things get left off in petra’s fic.

rafael’s encounters don’t finish in his fic, which leaves it on kind of a cliff-hanger, and i don’t think his final encounter happens in petra’s fic, so...fifth fic.

i’m actually hoping that writing petra in this fic will give me the confidence to write petra in the other fics she shows up.  so.  there’s that.

unposted fics:

where the lightning splits the sea:

aka roisa hp au

as stated before, the first book is my planned main project for nanowrimo and i hope to have the rough draft finished by the end of the year (we’ll see if that actually happens or not).

i have an entire series outline consisting of main things i want to happen in each book, along with their titles, and things that have to happen in specific books to set up for the proper pay off in later books.

the first book is entirely outlined - chapter by chapter.

i’ve started chapter-by-chapter outlines for books two and three.

the entire compiled outline alone is seventeen pages long.

i love this project a lot, and i’m super excited to share it with y’all, it’s just long.

mexican stud:

aka rosalint fic

i have a full working outline!  chapter by chapter!  huzzah!

this one still comes in bits and pieces and scenes that aren’t always interconnected.  i know what happens, but then pick and choose at scenes to write when i want to write it.

this fic will likely end up being fairly explicit - or, compared with other stuff i’ve written, more explicit - simply due to the themes and the content.  that may be part of why i take so long to write it - explicit scenes have a tendency to make me uncomfortable when i’m reading them and i don’t feel fully comfortable posting explicit scenes. but....

this would considered part of the epic superhero crossover (see below), even though the events are, to some extent, considered canon to aftershocks (with some exceptions which can be explained...later).

everything’s coming up rose’s:

stalled.

still excited, still want to write it, but focusing on other things atm.

various other soulmate aus:

one-shot (tentatively titled chorus: romance says goodnight):

still kicking around in my head.

still want to write it.

don’t think y’all will like it because it’s in raf’s point of view.

and other reasons.

but still want to write it.

dreamers often lie:

still at the point where i’ve brainstormed enough that i should start writing it because then i’ll get a more concrete idea of the world and of the events in the world but--

i’m currently focused on the soulmate timer au in terms of soulmate fics right now.  oops.

epic superhero crossover:

aka jtv/tick/timeless/supergirl/x-files/agent carter crossover.

hey, look, that’s a lot of things, so expect this to be massive, too.

the more i brainstorm this one, the bigger it gets, and at this point, i think it’ll probably be a bunch of interconnected fics in a series - like the time of your life - the soulmate timer au - instead of one big massive fic. it’s just easier to conceive of that way.

mexican stud is a fic on its own but goes within this crossover.

i want to write a fic about how emma and whitney get together (because they are together before rose gets them and all three of them are together in mexican stud - together as in a group, not as in together, even though emma and whitney definitely are together).

i want to write a fic about how dottie became the way she is when we meet her in the main fic (this would likely involve carterwood and dottie/whitney aspects - either directly or implied - and then it would likely come up in the main fic, there’s a bit from the part i just wrote that i want to be directly an exact quote from this).

i want to write a fic with rhea raising dottie (and potentially use that as backstory on how rhea and lena are...coworkers/acquaintances/partners/surrogate found family/etc. which could lead to complications re: lena and dottie but...idk).

even if lena isn’t a huge part of the rhea/dottie family fluff, i want to write something that deals with rhea in luthor-corp and l-corp and what she was doing after she got to earth - because that one’s different than canon (because i’m using ben’s rhea in a pod au v1 for this).

then there’s the main fic itself - which is where you get a lot of the crossover elements - particularly the x-files elements, which don’t really come up directly in the other fics but are definitely there in some of them (and by some of them, i mean the dottie backstory fic, they would be in the dottie backstory fic).  this would also be where the supergirl cast actually comes in (other than rhea and lena and the luthors and maybe astra?  maybe astra’s alive in this?  since rhea was around maybe she took astra?  or lillian?  idk haven’t decided yet).

so - like - this one is also a huge massive undertaking but in a different way than the roisa hp au is.  the interconnected fics for this aren’t necessarily as linear as the ones for the roisa hp au, and i want the main fic to be enjoyable on its own even if you haven’t read the other fics - the other fics might also stand on their own ish, but like...the random kingdom hearts games - to get the full story, you maybe want to play the main games.  ish.

also debating using my trans!mulder here because...like, i love him and i know he got me into trouble but...his story works so well here in context and i would love to use him here.  so.  it’s.  complicated.  :/

but - yeah - there’s your update on the state of things.  maybe look out for another update at the beginning of january, because i might be changing up some of how i’ve been writing and goals and things - but i think that’s it for now.

[hopeduckling13]

Find My Way Back To You: Chapter 20

Summary:  Hope Swan-Jones is the product of the product of true love and her true love, so her having very powerful magic was always in the cards. Luckily she lives in a town where everyone is very familiar with magic, so nothing can go wrong, can it?

Or so everyone thought, but then one day as a newborn Hope accidently travels back in time with her mother Emma.

How will the past population of Storybrooke react to their Savior having another kid and being married? And more importantly will the Savior and her baby daughter find a way back home to all of their loved ones?

- - -

Catch Up:

AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14857127/chapters/34395467

FF.NET: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12964592/1/Find-My-Way-Back-To-You

Tumblr: [Prologue] [Chapter 1] [Chapter 2] [Chapter 3] [Chapter 4] [Chapter 5] [Chapter 6] [Chapter 7] [Chapter 8] [Chapter 9] [Chapter 10] [Chapter 11] [Chapter 12] [Chapter 13] [Chapter 14] [Chapter 15] [Chapter 16] [Chapter 17] [Chapter 18] [Chapter 19]

--- PAST KILLIAN’S POV ---

 AN: (1) There’s been questions about whether Killian (in the future) misses Emma and Hope by now, but actually he doesn’t know, that they aren’t there – unless Emma never makes it back to her timeline. It’s like in the S3 finale, when no noticed Cs was gone. When and if Emma and Hope jump forward in time again, they’ll go back to getting ready for Hope’s first adventure on the Jolly Rodger and to everyone else it’ll be like they never left in the first place. So, Mary Margret and David from the future don’t know anything about Emma’s future and Hope either (before Emma announced her pregnancy, engagement to them etc.)

(2) This is basically just the last two chapters in Killian’s POV, which is why I updated this story earlier than I usually would. Also I don’t know whether I’ll be able to update this next weekend since I’m moving. I’ll try, but I can’t make any promises.

 I was pleasantly surprised when I saw Swan arrive at the tavern. For possibly the first time Smee actually had a great idea, when he told me to check this place out. I never would’ve run into Emma otherwise, so thanks first mate. I always enjoy spending time with Emma, even if she’s often yelling at me.

I’m still confused about the way she acted earlier since she doesn’t seem to remember our kiss this morning – or she at least pretends to not remember it – so lets check out if she still thinks that way. Maybe her bad mood has faded by now and she’s ready to talk about what the bloody hell happened between us this morning on my ship.

I keep sitting on my chair, but I turn a little to have a better view of her. She is drinking a glass of rum in one go. As soon as she sets her glass down, she orders another one, which I can’t help but chuckle at. That’s when she noticed me and turns in my direction, glaring daggers at me in the process. Swan is obviously still not in the best mood. I hope it’s not because of our kiss, which she’s trying to forget. I know she’s not too fond of me – our earlier conversation on main street proving as much – but she can’t regret our kiss that much, right? I can’t have been the only one being affected by it. At least it didn’t seem that way on my ship. She was obviously not against it – back then I even thought that she might have enjoyed it. And she did trust me with the baby – her daughter whose existence makes no sense since Emma never mentioned her before. And she wasn’t pregnant when we met either.

Anyway, I won’t figure out what’s wrong with her, while dumbly staring at her and being confused, so I get out of my seat and sit down next to her. She sighs sadly, but I act like I don’t notice. It’s probably better to not act differently around her because then she’ll start running away again and I don’t want that. I need to figure out why she’s so upset. Maybe I can even help her with her problems – that is if she lets me. If she is willing to let me help, there’s nothing I wouldn’t do for her. I’m aware that we hardly know each other, but there was something going on between us. It’s probably because we’re both orphans, who never had much love in their lives. We’re like kindred spirits in that area.

“Looks like someone is trying to forget things. Look, I have a few better ideas of how to get your mind off things.” I smirk at her and raise my eyebrow, signalizing just what I have in mind. I don’t expect her to agree with my suggestion of us having some fun. But I feel like she’ll be more comfortable and more likely to tell me the truth, if I just act like the pirate I am – I did act like this before when I promised her that when I jab her with my sword, she’ll feel it. She doesn’t like it when people get too close to her, so I have to very careful. I can’t let it show that I actually care about her well-being.

Emma just glares at me before emptying her glass once again and moving to a booth near the door. I suppose she probably does it to get away from me, but I just take it as an invitation to sit there with her.

“Are you avoiding me?” I ask her.

“Why wouldn’t, I? It’s not like we’re friends or anything. I keep having to tell you that. Don’t you have anyone else to bother?” she snaps back.

Ouch. That hurts, I must admit. I actually did believe we were becoming friends, but apparently, I was wrong. Or we actually get closer and it scares Emma, so she’s pushing me away to protect her heart from getting broken. The latter is more likely and also far less depressing for me.

I hide my discomfort and chuckle, acting once again like I don’t care. I rest my hand behind her, making it seem like I’m doing it to annoy her, but actually I wish I could pull her into my arms and never let anything bad happen to her ever again. It’s not like Emma needs protection, but still. She’s a tough lass. I mean she did almost manage to defeat me at the Lake – with hardly any sword fighting experience. I only let her win in the last few seconds of our fight because I knew how much she needed to get home to Henry – and also her daughter whom I didn’t know about, I suppose. I might be a pirate, but I would never let any kid go through what both Emma and I went through as kids. I did that mistake too often before with Baelfire and my younger brother, but not again.

Unfortunately, Swan minds my arm a lot and not even a few seconds after I put it behind her, she punches it away. Then she hits my shoulder, but it’s just in a friendly way. She’s not even trying to hurt me. It seems like I’m making progress. Maybe I can win her trust after all.

She wouldn’t try to push me away to this extent, if I didn’t mean anything to her. If I was just another annoying person to her, my arm around her wouldn’t be a risk to her heart. It’s not like I was directly hugging her. So, I was right. The kiss must have meant something to her – even if it’s just a tiny bit.

“So, I was right. You are in such a foul mood because you’re trying to avoid me. Has it perhaps anything to do with our kiss?” I tease her once again, but she finds nothing funny about all this.

“No kiss happened, Hook. You dreamed it or whatever. Accept that.” She snaps at me.

Being who I am, I answer immediately, which might not be a good idea since it’s something that Emma isn’t ready to hear. “Oh, Swan, that kiss did most certainly happen. You’re just too stubborn to admit it. But one day you will and that's when all the fun begins.”

I didn’t even mean to say the last part, but it slipped out. She definitely isn’t ready to hear that – the first part perhaps, but not, that I think we could be great together. But maybe she didn’t notice since she completely zoomed out half into my statement.

Swan’s expression changed drastically then, and I half expected her to run away, but she didn’t.

She still sits in the booth, not moving and clearly thinks very hard about something. Is she actually considering that I was right? Is she finally going to admit our kiss happened? Is she even considering that it meant something to both of us?

We sit in silence for what feels like forever, until Emma turns to a passing employee and orders another glass of rum. Right about then she seems to calm down again. She leans back into the booth and gets comfortable. Her gaze is fixed straight ahead, and she once again does her best to ignore me.

So, she really is going to pretend nothing happened. Okay two can play this game. So, I look at her and try to read her. It’s not as easy today as it usually is. Something must have happened, that caused her walls to climb higher than they already were. She is trying to push me away, which means that she must have admitted to herself that we have a connection. It scared her and now she trusts me even less than she did on the beanstalk. But that’s okay. I can win her over again. I’ve got all the time in the world since Swan is the only thing that’s important to me right now.

I came here intending to kill the crocodile, but I hurt him by erasing his love’s memories and now he is miserable. Now I can focus solely on Emma. She quickly became more important to me than my revenge. Ever since that kiss, I can’t deny anymore that she’s special to me. I only ever loved Milah and when she died, I thought my only chance at happiness was gone. But as it turns out, I was wrong. I’ve gotten a second chance at happiness and I damn well intend to use it.

“What?!” Emma’s voice catches me by surprise. I’ve totally zoomed out of reality, even though I was still looking at her. “Quit staring at me!”

Well, if she would talk to me, I might not feel the need to try to read her.

“I’m just enjoying the view, love.” She punches my arm at the comment, but it’s once again a friendly gesture. I’m winning her over. I can feel it. And this time I’m not wrong like earlier – at least I hope so. With Emma you never know, when she’ll shut you out again. She’s been through a lot of pain, so I guess it makes sense. It’s why we understand each other so well since we both are familiar with great amounts of pain and loneliness. It makes me feel very protective of her. My first love, my Milah, was murdered, so I’m constantly scared that something similar will happen to Emma. I can’t let that happen. I can’t lose her, too.

“That’s such a cliché.” She looks at me and I give her signal, that I’m extremely confused. She smiles lightly, and I feel like jumping up and down because Emma Swan smiled at me. But I don’t have much time to be excited since she explains the weird word. “It’s a kind of sentence, that is used very often – to the extent that it’s overused – and it sounds creepy because of that. Also, I’m not your ‘love’ so stop calling me that.”

She might not know it yet, but she is indeed my love. At least she’ll be. I’m quite certain that we’ll be together one day. Unless she’ll never get over her stubbornness.

“Well, it is the truth, love. And if I’m not allowed to look at you, then how am I supposed to figure out why you’re so vexed today?”

“As if you actually care about what has me in such a bad mood.” She says dryly, not showing any kind of emotion, but I know her better than that. Her eyes are sad. She has that lost boy look in them, that I’m far too familiar with. She tries to hide it because she doesn’t want any pity, but her childhood still bothers her. A lot. She’ll never get over it – not completely. There will always be a little sadness in her.

That’s one more reason why I want to be with her. I just want to make her happy. She deserves it. She deserves the bloody world and she’ll have it, if she lets me give it to her.

I swear, Swan, I can make you happy. You just have to let me.

“Maybe I do care.” I’m almost whispering right now, too afraid to push her away. I know this is dangerous territory. I see it in her eyes. How this scared her, but that just proves that we’re on the same page here. She cares about me in some way. She just isn’t ready to admit it – not even to herself. “So, what is it that’s bothering you, Swan? Maybe I can help…”

She looks at me with big eyes. Tears built in them. She isn’t trying to push me away right now. She’s actually trying to let me in. She just doesn’t know what to say. All this is very hard for her because of her fear to get hurt.

I don’t intend to ever hurt her, but I understand where her reaction is coming from. I appreciate that she at least tries to let me in. That’s a great step for her.

I was right about our connection.

But she still has some surprises up her sleeves.

She turns more to me and scoots closer on the booth. Our legs are touching by now. She looks at me with her tear-filled eyes and slowly begins to lean in. It feels like time stops completely, until of course our lips are almost touching and the bartender decides to set a bottle of rum on our table in that exact moment. I don’t think I’ve ever hated anyone more than I hate him right now.

Emma springs away from me, almost hurting her head in the process. She rambles on about how this didn’t happen, but I don’t really hear a word since I’m still too confused about what just happened. She almost kissed me again. For someone who claims to hate me so much she sure has a great way of showing it.

Before I really know what’s happening, she leaves the Rabbit Hole. I keep sitting in the booth. I feel immobilized, so even if I thought it was a good idea to follow her, I couldn’t.

Bloody hell.

It’s probably a good thing we were interrupted though, I think, while I look at the bottle of rum on the table. She had quite some rum, so she probably would’ve regretted the kiss tomorrow morning just like she does with our first kiss. I don’t want her to have any regrets. If we would’ve kissed now, it would’ve been wrong. I would’ve taken advantage of her tipsy state and I couldn’t live with myself in that case. I’m an honourable man and I would never force myself on anyone.

I’m not even sure, if our first kiss actually meant something to her. I know that it changed everything for me. And in given time she might change her opinion on me too. I’ll just have to prove to her, that I don’t want to be that awful pirate anymore. I want to be a good man for her. I don’t care how hard it’ll be to change – for my Swan it’ll be worth it.

[coolgirl]

Fic recs masterpost

ok so i used to have a lot of fics masterposts on my old blog and people keep asking for recs + i wont be able to upddate them or anything anymore so i decided to just move them all to this blog

under the cut: AUS / arkham knight / jaykyle / jayroy / robin!jason / gen / angst fics 

*: last added (april 4) //   for some reason the links arent working so go to jasontodd.tumblr.com/ficrecs for the links, sorry!

AUS

The Virtue of Revenge | young justice au with jason as red x making his own team with roy, starfire, raven, and others. i love it, even if it has shaky moments and stuff pls give it a chance.

crystal silence creeping down | young justice/lost days au

Flicker from View | another young justice au

Live to Rise | yes. you guessed it. young justice au.

Collide &  Convergence | au where post crisis jason goes to the young justice universe

The Changeling Sequence | series where jason meets damian before he went to gotham. The last part is a wip that i doubt will ever get updated again, so uh be careful. read only the first or second part and forget about the third.

The Drag of Fate | au where jason is lady shiva’s son as well. Part of a series, which i also highly recommend but idk if they would be au as well

heavy on the heart | another jason and cass are bio siblings. A+.

Didymous | cass and jason are twins.

repairing the world | i dont know how to explain this series.. its an au and really really good. Jason doesn’t appear in all the pieces.

just go  | jayroy, wings au

In the Shadows (of Who We Used to Be) | jayroy, black widow & hawkeye au

The Family (or how Jason Todd was adopted by the Avengers) | marvel crossover

bad boys bad boys (whatcha gonna dooo) ♫ | jason is damian’s batman. iconic fic imo.

Rise (And Try Not to Fall) | star wars au

A Bird in Morning | bruce finds jason when he’s at the hospital after crawling out of his grave

Moment Between | ghost jason & ghost martha and thomas wayne

We’re not in Crime Alley Anymore | au where jason was younger when bruce took him (and he didnt become robin)

Perhaps The World Ends Here | marvel crossover, future jaykyle

Batten Down the Hatches | a few different aus here. young justice + helena wayne

My Brother's Keeper | jason & damian knew each other from before + damian arrives to gotham just for jason

When the Moon Found the Sun | main story is clark/bruce but it’s preetty cute. soulmates au.

Between the Light and the Dark* | damian & jason uuhm i cant remember what this one was about per se bc im reading like 5487 similar fics but yeah

Two Dead Birds  | time travel stuff

Red Blood, Blue Blood | jason (and the rest of the batkids) are bruce’s biological kids, yeah i wasnt a big fan of the premise at first either but its gud

Rebirth | talia & jason, mind the warnings

you belong among the wildflowers | kate n renee adopt jason instead of bruce

We're the warriors of tomorrow |  Cass, Jason and Damian meet while with the League of Shadows

Can You Hear Me?  | ghost jason

to death's other kingdom I will not go  | bruce makes it on time au

The Ties That Bind  |  The pit restores Jason's body but not his mind, Ra's makes him one of his assassins and Talia adopts him as her own.

death’s outlet song of life* | the gordons find jason before the events of lost days

reflections on shattered mirrors.* | talia & jason stuff

Come Alive* | young justice s3 based

A Path Upon The Ground* | au from lost days, eddie and jason meet again

ARKHAM VERSE

If He Had Come & the sequel  Desiderium | au where bruce rescued jason before he could become the arkham knight.

the roads we know

this gun needs no bullets

JASON & BRUCE CENTRIC (not romantic)

Quack | this one is so crackish but so so cute i love it, robin jason

If He Had Come & sequel Desiderium  | arkham knight verse and its so good and has a lot of bruce & jason feels

Neverland /  Keep Lying To Me | deaged/ little jason from another universe.. sad and cute

Icarus and Bubble Gum | fluff, robin jason

Knock On Death’s Door | bit of both but not so so so angst, red hood jason

dead and dying things | au

In Memoriam | angst, trying to fix their relationship, red hood jason

If the Fates Allow | angst, red hood jason

The D-Word | fluff kind of.. red hood jason

This Place We Built With Grace and Guilt | angst angst angst, red hood jason

I Love You | robin jason, fluff

Wayward Birds | fluff and angst, robin jason

yesterday’s gone, yeah it went away (i’ve been lost but i’m here today) | another trying to fix their relationship fic, its cute and sad

We’re not in Crime Alley Anymore | au where jason was younger when bruce took him (and he didnt become robin)

Little Absences | sad, robin & red hood

Schrödinger's Honest Man | sad, drugs tw, absolute fave

White Christmas | bruce & robin!jason

Frozen History | de-age

Stargazer | jason n bruce patching their relationship.. its iconic

Unconventional Family Reunions | bvs setting

Prompt: Trapped | mind the warnings

Safe In My Arms 

The Failures of Reverse Engineering  | ghhm not really bruce & jason maybe?

to death's other kingdom I will not go | bruce saves jason au

points of impact  | glass case get fucked

is it my fault? (we've been missing each other)*

waiting for you. *

The Little Things*

World's Finest* | my uwus my uwus have fallen everywhere

JAYKYLE (all iconic)

In Which Kyle Confesses The Same Thing Six Times

milk and honey

Batman vs Space Bureaucracy

deadlock

attention to detail

tempest in a teapot

violet tendencies

no love, no glory (no hero in his skies)

keep the door open for me

waffles and war 

The Art of Subtlety (jason lives au)

Perhaps The World Ends Here | marvel crossover, future jaykyle

Riding in Batcars with Boys

boy, you fill my lungs with sweetness

no chance, no way, i won't say it (no, no)  

a change in the atmosphere

invitation to commitment

Overexposed 

i deserve that, don't i, some sort of blazing love that i can live with 

i won't say 

The water is always warmest at dawn

JAYROY (all iconic too)

sleepless 

Countdown

just go (wings au)

Unspoken

(for thy love is) better than wine (E)

Rooftops

Dick Wolf is a Really Funny Name

A headache isn’t always a bad thing

sad eyes, bad guys, mouth full of white lies [high school au]

kairosclerosis 

The Night They Met 

march down an empty street (like a ship into the storm) *

Archange de la mort (rallume ton flambeau) * | hic warning lol

this time, the loser wins | steph & jason centric though

So Baby Come Light Me Up *

Little Talks *

All the light is never ending, much like you and I; *

Don't let me go, for I feel I may fall * | soulmates au

Something Reckless * 

OTHERS

how to make a home. * | some eddie/jason if you squint, rose/eddie/jason team up

This Car Ain't Big Enough For The Both Of Us* | could be read as jayconnor :3

Robin/young!Jason

The Art of Subtlety | jason lives au, jaykyle

Little Absences | sad, robin & red hood

I Love You | robin jason, fluff

Wayward Birds | fluff and angst, robin jason

Icarus and Bubble Gum | fluff, robin jason

Quack | this one is so crackish but so so cute i love it, robin jason

we were not tragedies | jason & babs, read warnings

Heavy Home | gen, alfred & jason

Good News (No One Mourns the Wicked) | Jason & steph & damian. harold they’re dead (kinda robin!jason??)

Love Yourself (So No One Has To) | good amazing au with some selina & jason (not really.. robin but it starts as robin!jason i guess?)

Moment Between | ghost jason & ghost martha and thomas wayne

We’re not in Crime Alley Anymore | au where jason was younger when bruce took him (and he didnt become robin)

Tired &  Laundry | kinda au, read tw!

Smoke | jason & jim gordon

White Christmas | bruce & robin!jason

is it my fault? (we've been missing each other)* | mix of present and past jason

Sidekick* 

waiting for you.* | technically baby jason

The Little Things*

World's Finest* | oh this one.. my uwus

GEN

hold on to what  we are, hold on to your heart | gen, Barbara & Jason friendship. Some dinahbabs & jayroy

gotta give the boy points | gen, absolute fave

Strangers in Nothing but Name | marvel crossover, side steve/bucky

If He Had Come |  Desiderium | Arkham Verse, gen

I can’t  think up a good  name for this | young justice verse, gen apart from canon relationships

A Better Thesis | gen, p short but i loved it

The  F-Word | gen, batboys being batboys

until i’m in my grave | gen, wip 

Robins United | gen, batkids bonding, except for cass, thats my only complaint

Free of Dogma | gen, canon divergence, marvel crossover w Jason & Bucky

bad boys bad boys (whatcha gonna dooo) ♫ | au where damian is jasons robin and not dick’s, obviously damian & jason brotp. 

Heavy Home | gen, alfred & jason

In the  Shadow of Two Gunmen | gen, Marvel crossover

Flicker from View | side Barbara/Dick, young justice verse

I Love You | gen, Bruce & Jason

how to  hide a stray resurrected superhero from your parents/parental figure | au, jason & tim friendship kinda

One For The Road | Jason/Roy/Koriand’r but its SO cute

Baby,  It’s Cold Outside | gen, Dick & Jason

The  (Family) Doctor’s  Appointment | gen, batboys bonding

The Family (or how Jason Todd was adopted by the Avengers) | marvel crossover, gen

Reason | wip, gen, canon divergence

Soliloquy | gen, tim & Jason brotp,  and really cute batfam moments

Red As The Shadow Of Death | gen, young justice/under the red hood verse

Give Yourself a Chance | gen, duke & Jason & leslie brotpish

homecoming | outlaws brotp fic, could be considered shippy if you want to

And I Said What About Breakfast at Tiffany’s | jason & steph

Of Bats and the Forsaken | jason & all the batkids, side steph/cass and jay/roy if you squint

this is a long drive (for three robins who don’t agree on much) | no capes au, steph & jason & damian, background tim/tam

The Dying of the Light | marvel crossover, bucky & jason, canon divergence

Cat | selina &  jason, catlad au

Killing for Love | cass & jason, au  where jason was lady shivas son  

Keep Lying To Me | de-aged au, just heartbreaking imo, cursed fic

The Social Habits of Robin | gen, batboys. Where_is_cass.jpg tho

Steph and Jay’s Excellent Adventures | series, Steph & Jason

Neverland | jason & batkids, young!jay travels to the future. sad asad sad

on a thin chain of moments and something like faith | gen, jason & cass & steph mostly. really good

Good News (No One Mourns the Wicked) | Jason & steph & damian. harold they’re dead

In a Parallel Life | batboys focused, it has amazing dialogue, dynamics, and characterization. It’s only missing Cass and the rest of the girls.

repairing the world | series, not everything is about the batfam.

Born to Run (Born to Rise) | Jason & Talia having a mother/son relationship reblog if you agree

Live to Rise | it updated again p recently so yay! young justice verse

To Save a Dying City  | jason + other people

Let’s Have Some Fun This Beat Is Sick | mostly damian centric

Movie Night: The Mummy  | read trigger warnings, batboys

The Trading Chain  | not jason centric, but it has cass being older than jason and calling him “little brother” so noice

we sure know how to run free  | jason & cass

Yesterday’s Voices | bruce loses his memory au

Nests and Cages series | read trigger warnings

Roots | barbara centric, really good plot and characterization

Love Yourself (So No One Has To) | good amazing au with selina & jason

Retrograde Motion | de aged jason au

Provenance | mostly roy centric, bruce fucks oliver’s life for what he did to roy. iconic

Schrödinger's Honest Man | sad, drugs tw, absolute fave 

Batten Down the Hatches | a few different aus here. young justice + helena wayne

My Brother's Keeper | jason & damian knew each other from before + damian arrives to gotham just for jason

White Christmas | bruce & robin!jason

until i'm in my grave v2 | this one is already mentioned in this post BUUUT the writer started rewriting it so!

Frozen History | de-age

Stargazer | jason n bruce patching their relationship.. its iconic

show me yesterday, for i can’t find today | time travel au

Warm Enough | alfred & jay fluff

Parallels | mia & jason team up

Legacy | reverse robins, not jason centric but hes there alright.. i think.. i cant remember :D

What are the words I'm forbidden to say?* | damian & jay fluff

Cracked Foundation| jason n damian

Cat's Cradle  | more jason n damian

spaces in between  | damian & jason again

When the lights go out  | damian & jason, theres a pattern here

in my head, i do everything right | some jason & steph

is it my fault? (we've been missing each other)* | past & future jason

life, if well lived* | jason travels back in time and meets martha & thomas wayne

In Charge * | babie jason

Pyrrhic victory* | jason & damian stuff

Twists and Turns* | more jason & damian bonding

Of Brothers and Batcows* | guess what.. yes! more jason & damian

This Car Ain't Big Enough For The Both Of Us* | jason & connor.. say no more!

First Gear* | back to jason & damian please read this.. damian tries to teach jason to drive

changing, falling, fading (please watch over me)* | jason bonds with damian & steph

ANGST

Through the Valley of the Shadow of Death [read the trigger warnings!!]

in the repairing the world series there are a lot of fics dealing with jason, tho Warm Enough ugh not all are centered around him. I would say read  Escalation | Coup de Grâce |  Interlude for the rh!jason arc, and  Tired &  Laundry for robin!jason. [also read trigger warnings]

Countdown | jason/roy]

those six days [trigger warnings again!!!]

Call | angst

the tune without the words  | kind of character study from jim gordon’s pov

Unspoken | jason/roy, really angsty if you remember how red hood arsenal ended

If He Had Come & Desiderium | arkham knight verse, read trigger warnings!

Reason | on hiatus :/

hold on to what we are, hold on to your heart   | this is my favorite ever.. read trigger warnings

Heavy Home | alfred & jason

until i’m in my grave [trigger warnings!]

Keeping Broken Pieces Together

Monsters | marvel crossover

gotta give the boy points | this one please!!!! another fav. read trigger warnings

The weight of it [trigger warnings!]

Live to Rise | young justice verse

Neverland | THIS ONE IS PURE ANGST!!! please its so sad..

Keep Lying To Me | this one has some angsty scenes too im sad emoji

hangman is coming down from the gallows  | some angst

Movie Night: The Mummy  | read trigger warnings, batboys

Love Yourself (So No One Has To)

All in the Blood [read trigger warnings]

Little Absences

Stargazer | jason n bruce patching their relationship.. its iconic

Rebirth * | mind the warnings and its really. sad.

The Failures of Reverse Engineering *

Eternal Soliloquy * | sad sad

throw me a lifeline (I might even catch it) *

changing, falling, fading (please watch over me) * | jason & steph & dami angst

[rookiek13]

The Fan’s Guide to the Altean Language

UPDATED FOR SEASON 8 - First Update for season 8 (Includes very very rough timeline!)

Thank you all for your overwhelming support. We have reached the end of Voltron. I plan on transferring this to AO3 at some point. Let me know if there is ore data you would like to see for that. For a more indepth guide to season 3, check out @butteredonions post here! (This post is not being updated. Please do not contact them about errors!)

New Updates? Perhaps for the comics. No promises.

Questions? Comments? Want to chat? Let me know! Due to the popularity of this post, I may not see commentary in the tags, so hit up my askbox, the messenger, or the comment feature on the post.

With the increase of alien characters in season 3, we are getting away from this being purely the Altean language. Unfortunately, there’s no real way of knowing what is and isn’t considered “altean”, so I’m just going to continue to use “Altean Language” as the tag.

Units of time (Confirmed with Official Guidebook!)

Quintant = 1 day

Deca-Phoeb = 1 year

Phoeb = 1 month

Dobosh = minute

Varga = hour

Tick = a tad longer than a second

movement = week

@saiikavon has pointed out that in S2E8, the Blades of Marmora base would be closed for 2 quintants. When they mention that 10 Vargas have passed, Lance correctly estimates another 30 Vargas until the base is open again. From this it can be assumed that 2 Quintants = 40 Vargas or 1 Quintant = 20 Vargas.  

Planets 

Olkarion, home of the Olkari (Voltron Coalition HQ) Destroyed in S8E4

Arus, home of the Arusians

Taujeer, home of the Taujeerians

Daibazaal, home of the Galra (destroyed)

Altea, home of the Alteans (destroyed)

Puig, home of the Puigian

Unnamed planet, home of the cubserions

Kythra, has desert tribes

Thayserix, inhabitants unknown

homeland unknown, Unilu

Reiphod - recently liberated by rebels

Unknown planet (destroyed) - Rebel memorial site

Naxzela - formerly a decommisioned Altean Terra-forming planet. Major Galra base. Part of the Rebulon Zone

Vantax-5 - Galra satellite relay orbiting it

Teq - Galra controlled. Had Zaiforge cannon nearby

Senfama - Jungle planet. Galra controlled. Had Zaiforge cannon

Entuk - Houses the ruins of an Altean outpost

Feyiv - one of the first planets conquered by the Galra. Considered tehir sacred land, has the Kral Zera

Unnamed planet - Lotor’s refuge for the surviving Alteans, hidden somewhere in the Quantum abyss

Homeland unknown, Yggiz - mentioned in an ad on the game show Garfle Warfle Snick

Sanook - attacked by Honerva’s robeasts

Vexilum - attacked by Honerva’s robeasts

Siiz - attacked by Honerva’s robeasts

K-V Exus - Kolivan talks about a blade mission there (s8e7)

Drazan - Remember the mole people? They live there. In the Zeta-three sector. Burr is their leader.

Ryker - Lahn’s base

Pinto Sentos - attacked by the galra. Desto is their representative (comics)

Grekagan - recently freed fro galra. Their representative Do-tarn is more focused on his tv show and his wealth assist with the coalition, but others from his planet will help. (comics)

Quadrants

Paglium quadrant

Va’kar quadrant

Signa 3 Quadrant - overrun by rebels

Quadrant Omega-Raylar-6

Karthan-sigma quadrant

Si-vim Quadrant- Hostage exchange occurs here

Valurian Quadrant, home of the Tando people

Cradessa quadrant - glass-winged wabblers live here

elysium Quadrant - original paladins fought a Sarrowspawn here (comics)

Systems

Ulippa system, contains ice worms

Thaldycon system

Fimm System

Thizonian system

System X-9-Y, Kerberos is in this system

Klii-Nyn system - Blade of Marmora base “Zailox station” is on a moon there. Xanthorium crystals are in the area

Grei-aye system - remains of Honerva’s robeast

Xritoo system - has 3 planets

Misc heavenly bodies

Unknown asteroid - Matt’s communication outpost. It’s coordinates are 19.82.05.11

Sector Zar-Niomofor

Nah-veer-5 (unstable star)

Moon of Tragoch, has galra sentry manufacturing base

Kraydah’s moon - Rebel base

Quantum Abyss - a region of space where dense neutron stars orbit even larger dark stars. The forces at play leave the area constantly changing, and even gravitation waves and space time are affected, sometimes causing visions of the past/future

Burgamel (unknown designation) - Alfor picked up rock droppings here (comics)

Dalterion Belt - home of Yalmors, the element Faunatonium, and the former green paladin Trigel

Baltuf Nebula - Voltron/Atlas rendezvous point

Zeta-three sector - Planet Drazan is there

Chintellinous nebula - thunderbirds live here (comics)

Zones

Zone Everall 71

Zones Rebulon 4-69 (Naxzela is in one of these zones)

Patrulian Zone - the space equivalent of the Bermuda Triangle and Davy Jone’s Locker. Oriande is in this zone.

Phrases

Stick out like a choferiaks nose

blown straight to Wozblay

faster than an angry klanmüirl

Jump like a spritely clovenheifer

mad as a wet chüper

linked at the ears like a pack of yalmor

crack a squizzle on the balmera (I.E. break a leg)

puffed up like a Trufalian meringue

hold your gazurgas (I.E. hold your horses)

and I’m the phloban of Gargalaz (I.E. I’m the king of France)

what, in the name of King Groggery the infirm, is going on?

a day late and a fertonium short

from her to Vlexlar

hello bii-bohs and boh-biis

what the ruggle is that?

Wait a tick

I never thought I’d see the quiznacking quintant

I’m afraid someones been ruggling your wimble

a slizknots chance in groatsbade [of getting out of here] (comics)

Quite the sticky wicket [I find myself in]

I’m snarloft in the cranker (contextually, cranker = mind)

We’re out of our crankers

It’s right next to the wizblattle (used sarcastically)

count to Zingor

pop like a balvax

You Snarflaf! (Insult)

Bigger than a Hifflebuple’s plump (comics)

Creatures

Weblum - a giant space worm that eats dead planets, re-purposing the material into “the building blocks of new solar systems”. They produce the scaultrite mineral, used for Altean Teludav lenses. They have at least 3 stomachs (Acxa was in the 3rd). There is a way to stop them from eating a planet by doing something to the Trilo-mutarth under its dorsal, but the transmission was garbled

Duflax - an Altean creature with a beak and webbed feet

Xznly Squiwl - An Altean creature with a white body and 4 limbs

Swathian Meerakeet - giant lizard-armadillo that is attracted to lights

Zarbloovian intestinal eel - one lives in Coran’s stomach

Gruuvwart - a galaxy-sized poisonous toad. It’s inner ear contains a small island of earwax that can make 1 wish come true. Once there, the only way out is to use the wish to escape “Kind of a wasted trip” - Coran (comics)

Mangaadnii - A large green alien with wings reminiscent of a flying squirrel. They breathe electricity and destroy worlds. Voltron is smaller than a baby Mangaadnii’s finger (comics)

Kotka - winged beasts with no legs. The davdabhau ride them (comics)

Yalmor - extremely aggressive space anteaters with thin, antenna like ears. They can sense the element faunatonium, and link at the ears when on a faunatonium wizplute (meaning of wizplute currently unknown) They live in the Dalterion Belt

Unnamed alien - a cross between a turtle and a skunk. Whatever it sprayed the paladins with shrank them to “honey I shrunk the kids” sizes. Lives in the Dalterion Belt

Snick - A giant, aggressive shellbug creature with tentacles and claws. The “snick” part of the show Garfle Warfle Snick. The same creature that attacked Clone!Shiro back in S3

Blovar Raptors - laser shooting space stingrays. Krolia used them in a training simulation

Flan-bil-diplor - puffy bug thing with antenna, 6 eyes, and a beak-thing. Allura’s childhood drawing of her Nan-Nan looked like one

unnamed creature - a space kracken

Balmera - petrified planet sized creatures. Balmerans live on them. Balmerans differ in looks depending on the Balmera. A grouping of Balmera is called a Colvundrum

Ranvieg’s Weapon - chimera like being designed to attack Galra. Can absorb energy from the Galra crystals. Fires lasers. Intelligent enough to use the computers, as well as possess a sentry to allow it to speak.

The entity - evil space spore. Lives in the rifts. Grants enormous powers. Unclear what else it does, as this plot point was not explored further.

Sarrowspawn - a creature larger than Voltron. One of the deadliest creatures in the universe (comics)

Thunderbirds - live in Chintellinous Nebula. Collect ore from Neutron star to build nests. Robotic birds with chains for tails (comics)

Random

Quiznak - a swear word, similar in use to Fuck, crap, or hell (ie: “Oh quiznak” or “What the quiznak”)

Quintessence - a type of energy. Context from the world indicates that it is likely some form of Life/spirit energy [EDIT] It’s a real word! According to dictionary.com : noun1.the pure and concentrated essence of a substance.2.the most perfect embodiment of something.3.(in ancient and medieval philosophy) the fifth essence or element,ether, supposed to be the constituent matter of the heavenly bodies,the others being air, fire, earth, and water. Thanks @nickelpenn for the info!

Sloven-de-hoe - literally the altean word for “gone”

bogwaggle cape - a type of cape that Coran claims he trained to sing his theme song when he walked in a room

Skort pantaloons - a breathable trouser worn by the Tando people. Worn by the aliens who rescued Matt.

Guns of Gamara - a resistance group in the alternate reality.

Conscious-neezy mind enhancers - pills containing parasitic worms (never bargain with shady Unilu running illegal enhancement shops out of their wheelchairs)

The Fire of Purification - Sendak’s rebel group. Has claimed most of the empire’s deserters, though other factions still exist

Hinterbush - “I thought she had burnt too much hinter bush” Probably hallucinogenic (comics) 

Nomo virus - Thought to have been eradicated thousands of years ago until Coran discovered a sample in Alfor’s lab. (comics)

Nuuskob - an unknown thing. Commentary includes that the stains won’t come out (comics)

Glorblonthian checkers - a game. Has the Melmakian rule set. Space pirate Blofar hates the game

Moof Glider - a transportation unit for whatever Moof is. Is capable of jackknifing. Whatever Moof is, it is agreed upon to smell terrible

Megregian Fitzers - a sports team of some sort. There points are called havers, and the units for their playing periods are called Sprats

flizblaznator - the tv bi-boh-bi sold one belonging to one of the others

Psyferite - Hoverva’s robeasts are made of this

Flogarian technique - used in Yalmor calling.

Blagmore - score in yalmor calling contest. 3 is an extremely high score

Durgises - scores in yalmor calling contest. 1 blagmore and 2 durgises is a respectably high score

convuldrum - a converging of Balmera’s

Food (Thank you Hunk) 

Filet of Bandrillo, spiced with seasonings from the plains of Planet Mabo

Pilaf of long-grain forlongian brill from the fields of Antidoll

cider made from the petals of the Altean juniberry flower

blom fruit pie

Shoom fruit - used in pie (comics)

Fluuto beans - “...No more beans for Hunk” - Lance

Nunvill - a purple beverage that purportedly tastes like hotdog water and feet. Other commentary includes “the nectar of the gods”, “makes a wonderful hair tonic”, and “settles the stomach and brightens your smile” 

Technology

Sincline ships - Lotor’s trans-reality ships. A nod to Lotor’s original GoLion name

Zaiforge Cannons - Very powerful Galra cannons. Commandeered by the rebels and the Blades of Marmora

Hoktril - a device from the alternate reality that is embedded in the back of the subjects head, eliminating their “will”. Basically turns them into mind controlled puppets.

Klygarg - a computer used to record logs. Used by Vakala and his partner

Gendocam - unknown technology. Pidge and Hunk were arguing over how to optimize it.

Vlexagane - unknown technology. Pidge and Hunk were arguing over how to optimize it.

Cryopod, cryo replenishers, and sleep pods have all been used to describe the same unit

Galra History and Culture

Kral Zera - both the torch like monument and the name of the coronation ceremony

The Archivist - in one in charge of the Kral Zera ceremony

Feyiv, one of the first planets they conquered, is considered their sacred land

Zaipirium Siege - an even in Galra history. The underwater Galra base from this period is implied to be very old.

The first emperor of the Galra was named Brodar.

Vrepit sa - Literally “the killing thrust” Refers to a point in history when Daibazaal was home to many warring races and the “Galra” gathered their fiercest warriors and struck at their enemies with a phalanx formation.

Blood emperor - Dayak refers to Lotor with this. The term hasn’t been used since before the galra were a star-faring race

Dayak - Lotor’s governess. She taught him History, customs, battle philosophy, the art of war, etc. Breifly taught Hunk. Commentary from Zarkon implies that Dayak is a title, not a name.

Polen-Bol - “The enlightening pain”. Part of the galra philosophy that the body must be broken for enlightenment/learning.

Sendak’s Lt. Hepta was involved with Operation Kuron

Macidus - the druid who fought Keith in S1E10. After Lotor’s defeat, he was eliminating the Blades of Marmora agents. It is unclear if he is using an assumed name, and how much of the story he tells Voltron is true

Kaltor- A figure from Galra mythology who conquered worlds. Partly inspired Lotor’s name.

Agotian Trials - Part of Galra education. Lotor completed this before the age usually tested at

Yordam bering exus - part of an emergency protocol when the sentries are under distress. Is unclear if it is a universal call (like sos) or if each sentry has it’s own (Keith uses it as a name when he addresses the sentry)

Altean History and Culture

The color pink is used to honor fallen warriors

The land of Oriande is the origin of Altean alchemy, but widely believed to be a folktale. It is located in the Patrulian Zone

Compass stone - a tool used to get to the magical realm of Oriande

The Sages of Oriande - aslo known as the Life Givers. They were the 1st Altean’s to unlock the secrets of Oriande, leading to the creation of Altean Alchemy

The Mark of the Chosen - The glowing of the Altean facial markings. Some Alteans are more magical than others.

“The wise stand back from the fire, fools are burned on the pyre, the mystic becomes one with the flame, the embers and he are the same” - Poem by an Altean Alchemist describing the entry to Oriande

Altean’s can’t get brain freeze

The altean alphabet contains 22 letters. They are - Exus, Plexis, ceedus, flee, jaydus, nacto, pledum, ree, joodum, ruu, leeum, mai-ox, kay, jibely-way, afus, nofus, youkus-play, beefur, leefur, agus-play, flancko and blee.

The Altean colony doesn’t seem to use “Quiznack” as Romelle keeps mispronouncing it

Forlongian brill hat - an altean hat, presumably for courting. Allura thinks Lance would look ridiculous in one.

The Zyo-crystal springs and Cliffs by the Altean capital were said to be very beautiful 

Lotarious - ancient Altean believed to have established the foundation of Altean engineering. Partly inspired Lotor’s name.

Sprawl - a galra installation for harvesting cruiser materials (comics)

Earth history and culture (and technology)

Underground tunnel systems connect to some of the supply outposts. These are leftover from World War 3. Commentary includes that it’s “Older”, though it is unclear how many generations that means

AW-Cruiser - the garrison off-road cars

Mecha-Flex-exo fighters (MFEs) - Griffins teams use these. One of the prototypes was the MFE-Ares

IGF-Atlas - Sam’s mammoth ship built to defend agains the Galra invasion. Large enough to hold the lions and another unit of fighters. Eventually shape shifts into a Voltron-like being

Plaht City - a large city 30 minutes away from the Garrison

Orbit Axiom X - garrisons most advanced (and portable) flight simulator

Calypso - 1st ship to carry astronauts to the moons of Jupiter. It took 3 years. Reading about it made Shiro want to be a pilot

Hangar Alpha-Bravo - MFE pilots report here on the Atlas

Mr. Pollard teaches biology at the garrison

Random techno-babble

gluon field fluxuations - expands atomic distance

Synthian nitrate - Axca and Keith use this to make an explosion and escape

Flaxum assembly - MFE part. Griffin instructed a mechanic to tighten down the manifold on the left side because it felt loose

Plasma Alternator - Atlas part

Ventral Thoron injector port - Sendak’s ship part. Disengaging this will overload the Deuterium array, causing an explosion that damages the beam generator (and making it go offline)

Energy inverter - Atlas part. Something on the cannons

Molecular reflection arrays - Atlas part. Destabilized by a blast from Hoverva’s robeast

Dynotherms - a connection of some type

dichormate resonance chamber (atlas part)

Thera-magnetic oscillator (Atlas part)

Thorium - part of the Atlas’ cannons discharge. Sam wants to harness it to make a thorium ray

Monsters and Mana (Space DnD)

Wiebian swamps - ghosts can be fought there. The swamp goo is very sticky

Dakin - Coran’s evil wizard and primary villian, secretly also the bar wench

Carthian’s Lair - a tomb of horros filled with monsters, traps, and terrors 

Feldakor mountains - Carthian’s Lair resides in these

Klazgool - a many eyed purple tentacle blob carrying weapons. Either a race or a class

Lore master - the dungeon master

Coran’s group called themselves the Pirate Polychoral

Coranic Dragon - a dragon boss. A pun on Coran’s S1E1 joke about being a coranic ( coran + mechanic = coranic.)

The characters names were Block (Hunk), Meklavar (Pidge), Pike (Lance), Valayun (Allura), and Takashi Shirogane #1&2 and Gyro the twin brother (Shiro)

The master in Shiro’s tragic™ backstory is named D’Jahno

Aurita - the land they are playing in (I.E - the most powerful wizard in all of Aurita)

Items - Runestone of Lapham, Jewel of Jitan (pidge’s family heirloom), gloves of transmutation, Yalexian pearl (comic tie-in)

Paladin Trivia

The paladins left earth on a monday (S1E2)

The swords the blades of Mamora use are made of Luxite, which is rare. They are connected to the life force of their wielder

Coran accompanied his Grandfather while the castle of lions was being built, potentially putting his age in the 600s (not counting the 10k year cryo-sleep)

He/him pronouns are used for Pidge until S1E6, and She/her pronouns from S1E6 onwards

Coran’s full name is Coran Hieronymus Wimbleton Smythe

Haggar’s altean name is Honerva. Her official title is High Priestess

The mice are Platt (largest), Chulatt (blue fur/eyes), Plachu (Blue fur, red eyes), and Chuchule (pink fur)

The Holt family dog was originally named Gunther, later changed to Bae Bae (in honor of the studio’s late pet)

The dates on Matt’s tombstone are 0010-05-25 to 0014-04-28. This format may be the correct date format, as Pidge didn’t realize anything was off until she realized Matt’s b-day was wrong

Allura didn’t seem to know that Lotor was half Altean. Coupled with the memory scene with Haggar, it is implied that Lotor was born sometime after Haggar and Zarkon became corrupted.(confirmed S8) He is likely younger than Allura.

Krolia wanted to name Keith “Yorak”

Coran calls his grandfather “Pop-pop Wimbleton”

Hunk’s pappy is named Hershel. He also has a niece and a nephew. (comics) His Uncle is named Filo. It is unclear if “pappy” refers to his father or grandfather

Alfor took scrapings from the hall of consequences (according to Coran, nothing happened) (comics)

Shiro had an unnamed disease that effects the muscles. He used electro-stimulators to keep the muscles loose. It was getting worse, to the point that he would be unable to maintain peak condition for more than a few years. It is unclear if the disease was terminal, or merely debilitating, of if the clone body also shares the disease

Lance loves his Mee-maws cooking

The paladins named the space wolf Kosmo

Shiro’s prisoner number is 117-9875

Clone!Shiro’s subject ID is Y0XT39

Keith’s father was a fireman. He died when he ran back into a building against orders. “You couldn’t tell him anything” - Keith

Pidge’s prisoner number is 52249994880204 (comics)

Birthdays

Hunk - January 13th

Shiro - Febuary 29th (leap day)

Pidge - April 3rd

Lance - July 28th

Keith - October 23rd

Original Paladins

Black - Zarkon of Daibazaal

Yellow - Gyrga from Rygnirath

Green - Trigel of the Dalterion Belt

Blue - Blaytz from Nalquod

Red - Alfor of Altea

Lotor’s generals

Zethrid - big, with the fluffy ears

Narti - the blind lizard woman

Ezor - the bubbly, giggly one

Acxa - Weblum galra (spelling confirmed on official voltron page)

Kova - the space cat, assuming the one with Narti is the same as the one Haggar used to have

Rebels

Ozar - The blue guy who talks with Pidge (presumed dead S8E11)

Te-osh (deceased) - rescued Matt

Olia - star fox

N-7 - Matt’s robot girlfriend

Galra squadrons 

Squadron Erto (hunting Lotor)

Fighter squadrons Djalg 14 & 15(hunting Lotor)

Jaxar fleet (Sendak’s invasion)

Battle command Rill (Sendak’s invasion)

Klytax V-3 - one of 15 ships sent by Lahn (and destroyed by Ranvieg’s weapon)

Commanders in the Galra Succession War

Davdabhau culture (comics)

are legendary hunters and shamans

practice cremation

size and strength are important attributes in mating

a husbands duty includes - preparing food, doing the dishes, and participating in warfare with their warrior wives

Polygamy does not appear to be frowned upon

“Let your soul fry free like the Kotka and carry you to the hunting brounds of your ancestors, kings of the Davdabhau. There, may you battle the iron tusks by day, and feast and fight all night” - eulogy for the late king

“You lived with honor as a king, you died in battle as a warrior. Now burn in glory like a star.” - Eulogy for the late king

Tegus day - an event in history where King Yeran was forced to eat his own foot as punishment for his lies. Also has a song - “Fight all day! Red with blood! Enemies lay in the mud! Feast all night! sing till dawn! Tegus day! Battle won!”

Gantomor - warden of the sacred hunting grounds. Said to be the first Davdabhau to discover the sacred grounds. Capable of transforming to better meet his foes (in single combat, one. Against multiple opponents, an army)

Bvada - a Kotka’s rider for life

Qarlaks - the equivalent of nerd in the davdabhau tongue

Garfle Warfle Snick (The game where anything you Garfle will be Warfled and vice versa)

Bob is the host and Norlox is the announcer

Warfler - a puzzle or game

It takes Quaz-cenbullion credits to win

Hoochas - the time unit. Blazzle is the quantity of time assigned. (Blazzle hoochas vs Final Hoochas)

The games were Pictation, Faces from the past (a goolian credits per name), Garflater (guess the word - worth vezcenbullion credits), and Bank channel (mini golf)

Failure in Garflater gets you cooked alive in the Warflator, a massive tank full of acid that will eventually eat through your skin (though not immediately. Lance was fine for a while)

Failure in Faces from the Past gets you launched into the lair of the Snick (the creature that attacked Clone!Shiro in S3)

Bi-boh-bi is on a “stick-com” called Bii-Boh me

Bob is supposedly a powerful, all knowing interdimensional being who judges the worthiness of great warriors. Legend says that if you meet Bob and live to tell the tale, you are destined for great things

Garrison Personel

James Griffin - leader of the MFE squadron. Was in Keith’s class before the garrison

Nadia Rizavi - the one with the ponytail

Lt. Ryan Kinkade - the quiet sniper.

Ina Leifsdottir - freckles. Talks like a human computer

Admiral Ellen Sonda - grandma prissypants

Timeline (Based off of Earth time. VERY ROUGH ESTIMATIONS)

Year 1 - Kerberos team is captured

Year 2 - Shiro returns. The Blue Lion leaves Earth

Year 3 - Sam returns to earth. The debriefing meeting is about a month from Sam’s arrival ( 1 week sedated and Iverson’s comment about “a month ago) By the end of the year, the prototype MFE’s are in production

Year 4 - Sam reaches the coalition. Approx. 6 months since the Lotor showdown. BOM and Coalition are under attack. The Holts reveal everything to Earth’s citizens

Year 4-5 - Sendak invades

Year 6 - Acxa saves the Paladins from Ezor and Zethrid (her comment about it being 3 years)

Misc people

Lt. Lahn - omega shield episode. Eventually promoted to warlord

Ven’tar - representative of the Planet Lotor ruled and Zarkon destroyed

Tavo - dreadlocked Altean

Luca - altean piloting the ship that attacked earth

Merla - Hoverva’s right hand woman

Fentress - Zethrid’s right hand pirate

[xtremedespair3d]

My 10 Year Journey

It’s here. The end of the 2010 decade is finally here and now we’re finally gonna enter the 2020 decade! Although technically the decade won’t start until 2021, but who really cares? I’ve seen people hyping “Best things of the decade” and whatnot, so it still counts.

This post isn’t just going to be a 2019 year review with what to expect in 2020, the year and the decade, but I’m also telling a bit of my life over the last 10 years, though I may vaguely remember what happened, so this is going to be my longest post yet.

Also, this is going to be my final post I’m going to publish in Tumblr, I’m quitting for good. You’ll find out why when you read this post.

First, let’s start off with my usual Top 10 (and 20) lists of everything that happened this year:

Top 20 Best Anime:

20.- Virtual-san wa Miteiru

19.- Kaguya-sama: To be honest, I wasn’t quite impressed with Kaguya-sama, I didn’t like it as much as everyone else but I did like parts of it. And I of course agree that Chika is best girl. Maybe season 2 could help me change my mind.

18.- Fire Force

17.- Watanuki-san Chi No: This one’s more calssified as a dorama instead of an anime like Virtual-san wa Miteiru but whatever. With this and Virtual-san wa Miteiru, I’m still optimistic about the future of VTuber anime because I want to see more.

16-  Dumbbell Nan Kilomoteru: I really need to go to the gym again or try to practice the home exercices as shown in the series.

15.- Tokunana

14.- Fate/Grand Order Babylonia

13.- Lord El-Melloi II Case Files

12.- Ikki Tousen: Western Wolves

11.- BanG Dream! S2

10.- Quintessential Quintuplets

9.- The Promised Neverland

8.- Rising of Shield Hero

7.- Isekai Quartet

6.- Bungou Stray Dogs S3

5.- W’z: Yes, regardless of the hideous visuals GoHands has somehow fallen to grace, I really liked it so much that it helped redeem myself on Hand Shakers as a franchise because of its story.

4.- Girls’ Frontline Healing Chapter

3.- Fruits Basket

2.- Mob Psycho 100 II: Mob Psycho 100 is in a better hands than One-Punch Man has. No studio changes bound and Bones continues to deliver amazing animation that exceeds ONE’s art.

1-C.- Azur Lane: The Animation

1-B.- Kemurikusa

1-A.- Kimetsu no Yaiba: Ufotable wins for the second time in a row since 2018′s Emiya-san Chi no Kyou no Gohan series with this year’s Kimetsu no Yaiba!

All of the praise there’s been towards Ufotable with Kimetsu no Yaiba just make their other works (aside from Fate) otherwise forgettable (which is sad and I shouldn’t say that because I’m a Ufotable stan).

But, that’s not the end of the journey, there’s a film based on the Infinite Train arc happening and, surprisingly, it’s actually happening! It’s not a vaporware like the Katsugeki Touken Ranbu film or even Girls’ Work!

I’m still worried about Ufotable’s future given the tax fraud investigation, but whatever the case, I hope they can manage to clear things out and still running with marvelous projects, whatever they have in store (and literally in the shelf with the aforementioned Katsugeki Touken Ranbu film and Girls’ Work)

I had entries #1A to #3 and #20 figured out, but good lord! Figuring out what should #4 to #19 be! It took me forever!

Honorable mentions:

-Attack on Titan S3 - Part 2

-High Score Girl II

-Kakegurui XX

-Danmachi S3

-Manaria Friends

-Lupin III OVAs

-Welcome to Japari Park: This is a 2018 series but it has kept me on high spirit than Kemono Friends 2 ever has, it has given me depression instead. However, that doesn’t mean it tops the original Kemono Friends, this remains like my #2 favorite Kemono Friends anime. By the way, I didn’t know it was a two-cour series which the series got really interesting by the second-cour.

I really hope there’s another season, that teaser at the final episode has so much potential for them to not make any more Welcome to Japari Park!

UPDATE - February 1st 2020: As of the editing of this post, there’s still no season 2 to be found, or worse yet, I think it might not even be made at all. Well, it was quite a ride. F.

Top 6 Worst Anime:

6.- W’z

5.- Virtual-san wa Miteiru

Yes, I know I already had put W’z and Virtual-san wa Miteiru in my Top 20 Best Anime category, I had to include them as the worst because not only sometimes I do feel they’re kind of bad in their right with their visuals, but I’m mainly doing it for the sake of not looking like a lunatic. But there are 4 other anime that definitely need some of their own commentary.

4.- Mini Toji: Speaking of the Toji no Miko franchise, I heard that there’s gonna be an OVA based on the mobile game and my god, I really wish Toji no Miko can just die already.

(To be honest, I don’t know why I’ve grown to hate Toji no Miko if there’s nothing wrong with it. It’s just an instinct or something like “I don’t like your guts”.)

3.- Granblue Fantasy The Animation season 2

2.- Miru Tights: I really wanted to like Miru Tights because it’s Yomu anime, but the show itself was pretty boring and tries to push the tights fetish so far that completely turns me off, but the worst thing yet is that TRUSS (The studio that made the series) privatized every episode as weeks went by! I thought watching the series on YouTube with English and Chinese/Taiwanese subtitles was a great accessibility for everyone to watch it! I thought they were considerate to do that but I have to take that statement back on having every episode privatized.

This is why I absolutely prefer stockings/knee-highs over tights/pantyhose, I love me that absolute territory so much.

1.- Kemono Friends 2 and One-Punch Man 2: That’s right, a tie between these two.

With One-Punch Man 2, the visuals are a major disaster and it nowhere near follows the heart from the original by Madhouse despite having some decent sakuga moments but still tries really hard and gets ruined with motion blur. Story is relatively faithful to the manga (because I do read it, unlike you RedMakuzawa), but it just wasn’t told properly with its horrendous animation.

I’m glad that pretty much everyone is saying that One-Punch Man 2 was a disappointment.

Kemono Friends 2 is obviously the biggest thing I truly hated the most this entire year. I never asked for a completely new storyline that won’t even follow the teaser from the first season’s ending, I never asked for a completely new human character to take Kaban’s spot as the main character (I’m happy that Kaban is still here but I’m not happy with her role), I never asked for Kemono Friends 2 to exist at all!

Although, come to think of it, there were like quite a lot of good moments, but most of the time, I couldn’t care less for certain characters like Kaban and Caracal and this entire recycled plotline, not to mention the occasionally inconsistent framerates in the animation too.

Both were destined to become my worst anime of the year, no thanks to studio changes.

Top 10 Best Movies:

10.- Captain Marvel: Let’s start with a little controversial. As a Marvel fanboy, I just tend to watch every MCU movie because of the story, regardless of quality and whatever, and I’m pretty sad that pretty much everyone hates it, even my older sister. At least there’s two friends I know who did like the film and it helps make me feel better.

9.- Once Upon a Deadpool: This is a 2018 release but I happened to watch it on January 2019, so I had to include this here. Yes, it’s Deadpool 2 but with the gore and profanity cut off, but it was worth rewatching the film even toned down.

Except I wasn’t prepared for the Stan Lee parts. ;_;

8.- X-Men: Dark Phoenix: I did enjoy the film, flawed (?) for sure but it wasn’t objectively bad. The way I think it’s flawed it’s because it just made me ask a lot of questions and lacks context about who the villains are, are they Skrulls or not?

(Wow, three Marvel movies in a row.)

7.- Detective Pikachu: So I’m not a big Pokemon person, but I’m sure this year was pretty much Pokemon year, from Sword & Shield, Ash finally winning a Pokemon championship and new anime series, and of course, Detective Pikachu.

This was quite a very good video game movie with appealing realistic Pokemon, albeit the pace was a little too fast.

With that said about how the Pokemon look, I think I’m definitely gonna see the Sonic movie. I’m pretty sure it’s not gonna be as great as Detective Pikachu in terms of story, but at least seeing Sonic’s new design is something.(We do not talk about Sonic’s old design)

6.- IT Chapter Two: There’s really nothing wrong with the film. It’s just as good and keeps up the same pace as the first film!

5.- John Wick 3

4.- Shazam: DC has been quite in a roll this year since Aquaman, things just gets better with Shazam and Joker (although Joker is its own self-contained universe and Shazam is DCEU). I nearly cried on the part where Billy’s adopted family turned into the Shazam family! Quite some comic book inspirations!

3.- Fate/Stay Night: Heaven’s Feel II. lost butterfly: This was truly the most chill anime movie experience I’ve ever had in the cinema. Code Geass: Lelouch of the Resurrection was also a decently chill but at times people did yell but not super loudly compared to the other films I’ve seen.

The worst part about my experience is that I was literally dying from the very second half of film! My god, I’m definitely not drinking a lot of soda very often, I even went to the bathroom earlier. I’m blaming it on the Takis popcorn we always eat!

With that being said about the crowd in my cinema, I actually wanted to get a very lousy crowd because I started audio recording my phone so I can share to people how annoying Mexican weebs in my cinema can be, especially at that Shirou x Sakura scene, but it turns out there wasn’t a whole lot of people and the theater was in absolute peace, so I pretty much recorded the entire film in audio.

Anyways, the film itself was still pretty nice, can’t wait for the third part and at this point, I probably shouldn’t be begging for Konnichiwa (the distributor) to bring it, I’m pretty sure they’ll definitely will given that they released the first two films so far.

2.- Godzilla: King of the Monsters

1-C.- Spider-Man: Far From Home: I really quite loved Spider-Man: Far From Home and because I’m heavily biased to Spider-Man films and MCU films for this to become either second next to Avengers: Endgame, the next film just took its place for a good reason.

1-B.- Joker: This was an absolute masterpiece of a movie I’ve ever seen in my birthday! The Murray Franklin interview scene is my favorite scene in the entire film because the Joker monologue where he talks about the three subway dudes he killed and society in general just really speaks to me, it sounds similar on my existential crisis rant I fussed over on Discord servers EARLIER.

Venom was also a good birthday movie I got last year, though it came out a day later and I’m kinda sad, but Joker, since it came out exactly on my birthday, is definitely a gift I wholeheartedly deserved it! I want my movies to be released right on time! I also need more villain movies in my birthday in my life! (Though it depends which character because I’m sure I won’t be as convinced as Venom and Joker)

However, even if it was one of the best birthday gifts I’ve had in my birthday, I DID NOT let Joker to dethrone this next film...

1-A.- Avengers: Endgame: My #1 most anticipated movie of the whole year finally arrived and the one I seriously did not let this film get dethroned like last year with Spider-Verse over Infinity War! Wouldn’t you know it, this film literally brought me into absolute tears, hit me in the feels, EVERYTHING!!!

The way the film was marketed, the secrecy behind it and everything, and while the film delivered, all that stuff we previously believed has all been a lie and it was quite a surprise! They did not mess around with how important this film was going to be!

But alas, there’s still those ungrateful bastards who just ruin the film with things they say they don’t like or whatever! LIKE, SERIOUSLY, COME ON! YOU DO NOT TALK SHIT TO A MOVIE LIKE AVENGERS: ENDGAME, EVER!!! I DON’T GIVE A SHIT IF CAPTAIN MARVEL IS FORCED AND BARELY HAS ANY SCREENTIME OR WHATEVER, JUST APPRECIATE THE FILM FOR WHAT IT IS, THE PURPOSE, AND EVERYTHING!!! LEARN TO BE GRATEFUL!!!

Ugh, whatever. At least I didn’t hear that many complaints that left me a sour taste anyways.

Marvel just went so far with rereleasing Avengers: Endgame but with extra minutes of footage with cut content! That really sounds amazing, and it gets better when it was a worldwide release, including Mexico! Although... I really would have loved to rewatch the movie, but the schedule turned out to be at 9 PM, so for 3 hours, I would have gone around 12:30 or 1 AM and that’s a big no-no, I would have been killed. I also wanted to see it with my older sister but she was hospitalized at the time, and we couldn’t anyways because of the late ass schedule, so we had to wait until Spider-Man: Far From Home instead.

I don’t really care if those extra minutes are rough unfinished CG stuff that we can just see from the Blu-Ray (which I’ll never get), I just wanted to rewatch everything in the cinema, but I couldn’t because of the ridiculous schedule my cinema chose.

The moment Captain America said “Avengers... Assemble!”, I literally started bursting into tears, and so were the crowd being hype as fuck! My god, what else can make me cry from something this hype?!

There’s just a lot of stuff I want to discuss about Avengers: Endgame but I really can’t just process it! This was my absolute #1 favorite movie of the year and I definitely did not let any other film dethrone it! I love it 3000!

Honorable mentions:

Toy Story 4: I enjoyed the film regardless of everyone saying “Toy Story 3 should have been the final movie for good and this is just a cashgrab” or whatever, thankfully I didn’t cry at the ending, but I’m sad that my older sister didn’t like it for some reason.

Promare: I’m seriously disappointed that Promare didn’t come out in Mexico while America were seeing the film. I’ve been seeing fan arts galore and maybe a bit of spoilers, though I’m kind of in the dark about it. I really hope Promare comes out in Mexico next week! Just as long as the crowd isn’t absolutely noisy, though I had such experiences before, but I heard that America is much worse on noisy people in the theaters when the film was rerun a couple of times, jesus...

Top 10 Best Games:

This might be my most controversial category yet because I literally haven’t played any single of these games (except for two) and I’m heavily biased towards franchise I care the most, developer(s) I care the most, aesthetic, etc., not so much about quality and most importantly, experience by having played them at all. But even so, I want to congratulate them by their existence.

10.- Persona 5 Royal: As much as I like Persona 5 from how it is, the aesthetic and everything (I haven’t played it myself, I’ve seen my older sister play it), but it has turned somewhat of a controversial topic for me, because literally everyone I know has quite some harsh feelings on the game and it just affects me so much given how much praise I have seen, so I kind of walk away from P5 nowadays.

But now, there’s Persona 5 Royal! Not only has some cool new content, but I hope it improves some issues the vanilla version has left behind!

(I only want the new content, to be honest)

I wonder if Persona 4 had this kind of similar backlash, because I see Persona 4 Golden in a different light where it just simply adds new stuff and not try to fix the issues from the vanilla version (it does but it’s not how I see it)

9.- Kingdom Hearts 3: I’m not a Kingdom Hearts person but I’m happy that the long awaited KH3 is finally out, although it might be quite divisive because of the story and its issues, but it seems like ReMind is going to fix these issues.

8.- Pokemon Sword & Shield

7.- Marvel Ultimate Alliance 3

6.- Fire Emblem Three Houses.

5.- Untitled Goose Game: HONK!

4.- God Eater 3: I wanted to tie GE3 with Code Vein, but I was eager for Code Vein the most than God Eater 3 and I haven’t seen much of it honestly, but I’m still including it here because I like the God Eater franchise but I’m not quite an avid fan, at least until I play GE2 and of course GE3. I just need to grow some interest with God Eater some more because I really like the post-apocalyptic aesthetic and everything.

3.- Azur Lane: Crosswave

2.- Resident Evil 2 Remake: Capcom’s redemption arc continues! And with its success, it’s even lead to the development of Resident Evil 3 Remake which it’s gonna come out next year, and I’m surprised that they’re working on it already.

1-D.- Code Vein: I’ve become quite furious when the reviews for it came out. The Metacritic shows that the game is average at best and people be like “This is garbage, I’m out” and my god, I’m seriously frustrated with all that shit. I waited for a fucking year and I don’t want to get disencouraged when I’ll ever have the chance to play it.

But thankfully it didn’t stop me from seeing people playing the game and it makes me more than happy that they do.

I had to go so far on spoiling myself and... what I heard was one of the best things ever, which I’m probably not gonna spoil for you.

1-C.- Astral Chain

1-B.- Devil May Cry 5/Travis Strikes Again: I have to make this a tie for two reasons, they’re my biggest franchises in my life, but they have differing levels of my personal importance.

With Devil May Cry 5, I never thought the good DMC will ever come back, after having to suffer through DmC, there was also DMC4: Special Edition released in 2015, but that’s kind of whatever, but then, shit just got real when it was revealed in E3 2018!

Anyways, let’s talk about post-release, the story is absolutely nice, they went with throwing a bit of throwbacks and it just screams everything absolutely worthy for answers and pay-offs, though the ending feels kind of inconclusive, seems kind of they’re going to be open with maybe a Special Edition of DMC5 or even DMC6, but who knows, but then hopes get ruined as Capcom announced they were done with the development of DMC5 after the Bloody Palace release, which means no more Vergil, Trish and Lady DLCs, which it’s utterly disappointing! (But will there still be a Special Edition? It took 7 years for DMC4 to get one (2008-2015))

One other problem I have with DMC5 is that Capcom might have done a very poor job on keeping Vergil a very big secret. I think it was already known that Vergil might have going to appear in DMC5 for so long, from Dan Southworth’s (Vergil’s VA) Facebook post with the #DMC hashtag, from people editing Urizen’s voice and they found a match on Dan’s Vergil voice, to Capcom outright releasing a spoiler trailer! Sure, people sure want to avoid that trailer, but really? Weren’t they supposed to treat Vergil like he was a really huge deal for the game that’s not worth spoiling at all?

Also, the game continues to be extremely stressful with the harder difficulties, but since I have played DMC3 a long time ago, my skills haven’t gone out of practice!... Mostly.

Now, let’s talk about Travis Strikes Again. The moment it was announced on the Nintendo Switch event in January 2017, I literally started bursting into tears and yelled out loud! Later in August, at PAX, a new trailer was revealed and even if it was a teaser CG video (it’s the first game’s opening post-release) and my god, it looked gorgeous. Then things started to get sour as Atkin Downes tweeted that he was “disappointed”, that he wasn’t brought back to voice Travis or something, and I was utterly disappointed, but things changed when in December, it turns out that Robin Atkin Downes was returning to voice Travis, not only him but the original voices for Shinobu and Bad Girl are returning as well, my hope was restored! (Though I was already gonna see how the game would turn out regardless)

The game came out and at first, I saw seeing Grasshopper‘s Twitter account retweeting positive reviews from lesser known articles, which I was good at first, but then someone posted the Metacritic where it has mixed reviews, like at 70 something (under 75) and I was kinda sad.

Some people may say that the game is a disappointment and the gameplay is repetitive, and boy, I don’t give a SHIT about what these fuckheads (see what I did there?) say about the game. Though I still have yet to experience the gameplay myself (chances are that I wouldnt really find it repetitive. Pretty much every game is. Uh, hot take), but when I watched walkthrough videos of the entire game, the Travis Strikes Back segments (a visual novel-inspired segment) are what brought me ABSOLUTE HOPE for the game overall, the story pretty much has! The lore and everything that explains what happened a little with Travis’s disappearance from Santa Destroy, he’s even got kids with Sylvia, Badman’s origin story from Badman Strikes Back from the DLC, EVEN THE EASTER EGGS LIKE FUCKING MONDO ZAPPA FROM KILLER IS DEAD, ALL THE EFFORTS SUDA PUT INTO THIS IS JUST AN ABSOLUTE LOVE LETTER FOR ME AS A NO MORE HEROES FAN (And for general Suda fans too, though I’m not the most hardcore Suda fan as I haven’t played The Silver Case and other games to understand the references).

The second patch of the game came and there’s a brand new opening featuring Killer7! And this just changes the No More Heroes Universe, no, the Sudaverse!

My god, there’s a lot of stuff I want to say but can’t process, but let me just say this: Even if you didn’t like the game, or you find it disappointing, you’re wrong! The story and the lore should be the biggest redeeming factor of Travis Strikes Again!

Just when I thought I want to get a Switch to play Travis Strikes Again, a few months later, a rerelease of the game with all of the DLC for PS4 and Steam came out in October and oh boy, that gives me a huge opportunity to play the game, either on my shitty ass laptop or in my PS4 (which I finally got it after so long and I’ll later explain why)! I really hope it goes the same for No More Heroes 3--WHICH BY THE WAY, there was a bit of problem around Travis Strikes Again where people thought NMH3 was going to be sequel bait when Suda said that if TSA sold well, the development for NMH3 would start, but I didn’t care if it was a problem or sequel-bait or not, I just wanted people to buy this game as much as possible, especially when the post-credits scene straightup teased NMH3!

One other thing I find it weird about TSA’s existence, is that Suda says that this isn’t much of a numbered sequel or a spin-off, I don’t really get what Suda means on what TSA is, but I’m still treating it as a sequel storywise, considering that NMH3 takes place after TSA. The post-credits scene definitely doesn’t mess around!

Then E3 2019 came and... NO MORE HEROES 3 IS A REALITY! IT’S DEFINITELY HAPPENING AFTER 9/10 YEARS!!! I’M REALLY GLAD TRAVIS STRIKES AGAIN GOT SOLD WELL ENOUGH TO MAKE NMH3 HAPPEN, AAAAAAA, I’M SO HAPPY!!!!! I NEED A SWITCH TOO!!! THOUGH I DO WISH THE GAME WILL COME OUT ON PS4 TOO, BUT AT THE MOMENT, I WANT TO GET A SWITCH FOR NMH3!!!!

Anyways, I’m done discussing Travis Strikes Again.

I put these two games as a tie for big reasons: They’re both my favorite franchises I hold dear the most (though I absolutely hold NMH at the very bottom of my heart more than DMC), both games are fighting between their pros and cons, one I definitely have played (DMC5) and one I haven’t (TSA)...

Let me point out their pros and cons real quick:

Devil May Cry 5:

Pros:

Amazing gameplay and graphics.

Amazing soundtrack.

Amazing story with neat throwbacks.

Cons:

Development finished, so don’t expect any more DLC.

Travis Strikes Again:

Pros:

Story that’s a much bigger love letter, helps explain what happened to certain characters after NMH2, etc. And even features Suda51 easter eggs.

Two DLC expansions than DMC5 will ever have.

Cons:

Kind of whatever gameplay. (for other people, not for me)

I do think Travis Strikes Again is much better in terms of content than DMC5 but it’s kind of a debate. They’re still amazing games regardless!

1-A.- Death Stranding: A Hideo Kojima Game = Instant #1 winner. And perhaps this is the most surprisingly divisive Kojima game I’ve ever seen in my life (Perhaps more or less divisive than Metal Gear Solid V: The Phantom Pain), at least with the reviews alone (At least in America, Europe and Japan have 9s, 10/10s), that doesn’t stop from seeing quite some cultural impact already, memes, fan arts and stuff.

I’m disappointed that it didn’t win Game of the Year in The Game Awards because obviously it’s such a big game, though not everyone really cares and it makes me sad, at least it’s still won some awards and won GOTY in other not-so relevant award shows.

The game is pretty much filled with an excellent gameplay, with a bit of realism where you trip yourself with rocks and everything, the game is filled with quite some originality, the actors, easter eggs, pretty much the most ambitious Kojima game ever and I’m having a damn fun with it!

As of the writing on December 28th, the day before I just beat episodes 4 and started episode 5, so it seems like I’m still long ways off on finishing the rest of the game and I still haven’t finished through the story (which I don’t find it confusing, by the way).

Part of the gameplay definitely reminded me of Metal Gear Solid V: The Phantom Pain, the controls and everything felt familiar and it was really neat, even if it’s something for a completely original IP, part of the gameplay was still familiar with some MGSV vibes.

For those of you who think that Death Stranding is a disappointment or whatever (looking at you WatchMojo and everyone else), you are absolutely dead wrong! I don’t know what kind of Kojima game you definitely expected to be so bad but turned out to be something else, just get out of here and try to focus on something else, maybe you’re better off with seeing Kojima things with Metal Gear! Death Stranding definitely isn’t for everyone alright, especially for assholes like you!

I definitely expected Death Stranding to come out on 2020, but I enver thought it might already come sooner in November 2019 (Although Kojima did tease it might come out in the “year of Akira” (being 2019), so I guess I should have seen that coming, I completely forgot about it). Kojima has come a really long way with making his new studio, hiring people, finding studios to cooperate and make Death Stranding, everything in just 4 years and it was amazing for him and his team to put all of their efforts when it comes to making this and the wait was definitely worth it!

Honorable mention:

Custom Order Maid 3D2 English version: I had played the Japanese version before and I see there was a trial version for the English version. I hadn’t really thought it was gonna be an actual thing until I started seeing a Custom Maid Twitter artist retweeting a tweet of a Japanese gaming news site that the page for Custom Order Maid 3D2 was live.

Things around the English version of the game are relatively fine, but that is until the CR shop maintenance, talks about how to improve it, and even considering outlandish requests people make which aren’t on the original Japanese version of the game, the kind of original content just screams a huge insult for the Japanese Custom Maid community. Shit gets worse when the people I have talk with can’t even access the Steam page!

With all of the content that’s way behind and everything, I decided to go back to playing the Japanese version (especially when I found a torrent of CM3D2 + COM3D2 with all of the DLC until Spring 2019 or something). Except that given that it has way too much content, it’s so fucking slow for my laptop. But at least I’ll use the JP version for making characters and screenshots and I’ll play the English version for the campaign.

Whatever brand new original items might end up being, I hope they might be interesting enough for me to start begging for them to come out on JP so hard.

Alright, here’s a non-biased GOTY list with new releases that I HAVE actually played and some older games too.

3.- English Custom Order Maid 3D2

2.- Death Stranding

1.- Devil May Cry 5

Honorable mentions (Older games):

Valve games: Half-Life, Portal and Left 4 Dead games.

VA-11 HALL-A: I’ll explain the story of how I came to play this game later down the line.

Saya no Uta: Steam release. I know I probably shouldn’t rely on official Steam releases and go for the fan made translations especially when they don’t have the adult content, but the thing is I didn’t have trouble buying the adult patch, and it was super cheap too. Besides, I don’t have any trouble with the translation so far, even if I don’t really speak Japanese, even if the little I know I definitely understand with the official English translation, so I’m not really dumb.

Melty-Blood: This is the first fighting game I have played for a bit in a long time when I’ve grown to be less of a fighting games person. I haven’t played the story campaign nor I would want to right now because I’m going to save it until I play Tsukihime just so I can understand some characters and other things.

There, you happy? (I’m definitely not using this non-biased list at all and honestly, it’s a hard tie between DMC5 and Death Stranding because I love these games right now)

Anyways...

Dishonorable mention:

Left Alive: I’m not really mad about how bad it is, but it sure looks quite unplayable. How did the developers even get away with making a broken game like this? The only things I can appreciate this game is how good it looks (at least on still), and of course the Yoji Shinkawa art.

Instead of doing a traditional review focusing on 2019 alone, I’m going to explain my journey I went through for the last 10 years, of course I’ll review the year 2019 in there, and after that, my resolutions and what awaits me in 2020. I may not remember everything, I only remember the biggest parts of my life.

Worst game:

YIIK: A Postmodern RPG: Every time I look at the game, mainly from the writing, I can’t help but think the game just gives me an existential crisis, because if I pull some shit like how they referenced a real life death of someone and among other ludicrous things, I think I’m definitely walking away from joining the industry and for my creativity to exist.

Bonus

Song of the year

“P.S. RED I” by TK from Ling Tosite Sigure: Spider-Verse was a 2018 film, but it didn’t release in Japan until March 2019 and what better way to promote the movie is having a kick-ass theme song by TK! Seriously, ever since I’ve been seeing the Japanese trailers and I heard a portion of the song, I was absolutely eager to check the full song, and once I started listening to it, I couldn’t stop listening non-stop! I’m not sure if it’s actually featured in the movie, but even if it’s not, at least this song is still something!

Ling Tosite Sigure (The entire band) also made another Spider-Man song this time for Spider-Man: Far From Home titled “Neighbormind”. With these two songs, I want TK/Ling Tosite Sigure to make Spider-Man songs forever!

Sorry, Devil Trigger, even if Devil May Cry 5 is a 2019 game, you already came out last year.

Artists of the year

(NSFW content warning)

Ogata Tei: I sure am super fixated on Ogata Tei’s Childhood Friend series because at the beginning of the year, I really couldn’t care much for his new works, but until Summer, my spirit has been lifted where Ogata is still delivering more of the series, not just once but twice in two Comikets in a row! I seriously can’t wait for more Childhood Friend series to come out and buy every single one of the doujins! (If possible, I also wish Ogata Tei wouldn’t be so slow with the DMM FANZA releases because the previous two doujins took about a year for them to come out digitally) (Also, please, I’m not a stalker)

Hinosuna: This one is truly the best Custom Maid 3D2 artist I’ve ever seen and met, not only he makes amazing futanari CM3D2 pictures and he’s quite a gamer too. He’s also the first Custom Maid person to make collab pictures with my characters and he did some in July and for my birthday, and he event went so far for gifting me VA-11 HALL-A on my birthday and boy, that was one of the best surprises I’ve ever gotten in my life!

I’m really sorry, Souryu, no more Kouiunogaii, not worth mentioning you here.

(This is probably gonna be the last time I’m going to do this category)

And now, we’re finally done talking about our Top categories! Now let’s finally start talking about a bit of my life in the last 10 years, and then my 2019 review and what to expect in 2020!

2009: Let’s start off with a little silly but upsetting, this was the year where I made my definitive Roblox account. I have played Roblox like a year or two prior as a guest but I finally started to play as a full account or something. I’ve always been making like a few but I wasn’t getting satisfied with them, probably because the usernames had really long numbers, e-mail or password, something like that, but then one of the usernames with really long numbers stood out, and I decided to make into the Brandon2126 account, I played it non-stop until I stopped playing Roblox for good in 2013 the moment I got my PC fixed for like the 5th or lost count for how many times my old computer kind of got messed up, but this one had finally has Windows 7 Home Premium and my sister was like “No Roblox.”, and it magically made me stop playing Roblox anymore. And in the process where I was making the accounts, I was genuinely being yelled at and beaten and even threw water on me in the process... yeah.

There’s another bad memory in 2009 I have, and it’s where I was watching Life in Portal: Madness on Newgrounds, this predates Avengers: Infinity War with the most ambitious crossover 10 years ago, but for some reason, this kind of encouraged me because I kind of hated how they killed Eddsworld (or just Tom), my mom started talking to me and at some point, I yelled at her to the point that I legit made her cry... yeah... this was probably like the first time, even at almost 10 years old at the time, I was becoming a human trash like I partially become today...

Okay, what a lovely way to start my 10 year journey from 2009 with some bad memories, but now we’re moving on to the next years with short but good memories... that is until you reach 2012 or 2013.

2010: I don’t really remember much of what happened this year, but the only thing I remember is that in Halloween (October 30th or 31st), I went to an anime convention with my older sister, it was really neat but then I saw a booth with a screen playing Highschool of the Dead, and the one frame I remember is the bloody floor from episode 2.

I wish I can go to these local conventions very often but at the same time I tend to think how kind of cheap and poorly made are by my city’s standards or something...

2011: This was the year where I started to finally get gaming consoles, starting with the PSP Go, and it’s where I first started playing Metal Gear Solid: Peace Walker, and I believe this was my genuine first Metal Gear game I started playing. I grew up with Metal Gear with Egoraptor’s Awesome series but I definitely haven’t played any of the games at all.

2012: I vaguely remember what happened to me or what were the most special things that happened and did, but all I can remember is that I’ve had some really bad problems with DeviantArt. Going by BMT2126StudiosMK, I had some seriously bad behavior during those times, to the point where I was kind of like straight-up method acting or something like that, and thinking about it just grosses me out and wish I can go back in time to stop myself for how I was back then.

2013: My problems with DeviantArt start to get much worse when this shit happened. Geez, 13-14 year old me was the absolute worst, ever.

That aside, ever since I played Metal Gear Rising, I can’t help but think that the game has gave me so much inspirations for the projects I want to make, it pretty much boosted my creativity in terms of the weapons, the technology, everything else in MGR.

2014: This year was my worst yet. It started with one of the best moments of my life early that year, because I get to watch Highschool of the Dead in my own cable TV with my older sister. I happened to notice that HOTD was coming to Mexican TV from a Facebook group about people who want to change Cartoon Network LA by removing the censorship and every other crap the channel has, if it weren’t from that group, I wouldn’t have ever known about it.

But in a few months later (I forgot specifically when), one night, I was watching La Sopa (Mexican version of The Soup), and when it was on commercial break, I checked my Twitter a bit, but when the show was back on, my sister came back and spotted me using Twitter, she yelled and then I ran away to my bedroom upstairs... There’s a lot that happened after that and either I can’t remember or I don’t really want to talk about it. Anyways, long after this happened, my family scolded me for who knows how many times I’ve been through this hell, the following weeks I’ve spent my life trying to make alternate accounts just so my sister won’t notice, but she ultimately has.

2015: This is where I finally started to become independent, like I was finally free from using my computer right next to my older sister, it happened like early in the year where I got to watch anime on my own and then watching seasonal anime ever since, starting with the Kancolle anime. (Regardless of what everyone says about it nowadays, I still enjoyed it)

2016: Here is where starting with Batman v Superman is where I had a hatred for critics. Every time a movie came out, they’re rated as trash, but when I saw them, they’re not really trash at all.

2017: This year has become my breaking point and I turned into the person I am today, someone with an absolute vendetta against opinions, I even had to make a post about my problems with them nowadays.

2018: You already know by now what a painful year 2018 was, and I can’t even bother to transcribe pretty much what happened, so I’ll leave my review here.

There were a couple of great moments, but the majority were painful moments after another, but still some positive ones somewhere.

If all my stories from all these makes make you disgusted at me as a human being, you’d better stop getting along with me now.

2019

Alright, time to finally discuss everything that happened to me this year and before we do that, let me give you a small headline of the year overall:

2019 is just as bad, if not, MUCH MUCH WORSE than 2018

Life continues to be a dumpster fire to the point where I’d really like to time travel and just stop everything. one can only dream. Anyways, let’s discuss why 2019 was my worst year yet, starting with:

The worst moments that drove me insane and nearly destroyed my life

For starters, the first two months were a hell of a rough start with my usual problems with my obsession with personal opinions and lack of progress in my novel; as for the latter, I had my older sister give me feedback on a few elements, but she later suggested me some ideas I’m not super comfortable at all, like not using real locations, nationalities, etc., literally make the entire world of my novel fictional, I had told her to not make me ruin my baby any further, she replied “good luck”, so I gave up on talking to her on my project for good.

Then in late March, one of the most heartbreaking incidents I’ve ever witnessed was that artist LOLICEPT and all the harassment he went through by one or two people thinking that one of his pictures was a poorly timed joke for the earthquake. I wasn’t aware of this until I saw hews tweeting about it, I was wondering what’s going on and I was looking at replies of that tweet hews made about LOLICEPT.

Then, I started tweeting thanking hews about a bit of context, while he wasn’t like 100% sure first, I thought that it was still something of a clue. Someone got in our conversation saying that they’re writing a thread of what’s happening and I was on board with the idea, I waited a little while and the document went live, I read the whole thing and I couldn’t help but feel heartbroken about what happened.

There was like a lot of shit that happened, but later on, I noticed that LOLICEPT was still active on Pixiv under a new name: Belko, he started like a day after the incident happened and deleted his old LOLICEPT accounts and I was late into that. Then on May, I noticed that he had a Twitter too, I thought he wouldn’t return to Twitter anymore but now he has, now my life seeing LOLICEPT again, even with a new name, is all I need, and I’m glad he’s still drawing which it’s the most important thing... although I have a complaint and I made a thread about it, but regardless, I’m glad he continues to draw, that’s it.

Now, there’s another issue that happened to another artist, I saw this tweet where it was an artist named kun0 and his girlfriend insulting DreamNekoTV’s art style live on Twitch, and that is not something you should do, you do not criticize artists like that. As someone who hates criticizing art and artists (well, I do have my rights to criticize whatever they make sometimes, I vent them out on my private server, but I do have a rule of NOT criticizing right AT them or anything; Okay, maybe art critique should still exist, but not like this, okay?), I just really can’t stand people criticizing whoever artist and their art style and stuff, because, well, that’s their art style and they all try their best (that is part of why I was never fond of the Saberface jokes on the Fate/Type-Moon community, same face disorder jokes is not something that should be ridiculed). This backlash was very big that not only fans, but even creators like Jacksepticeye, DrLupo, Joey The Anime Man, and many others have expressed disgust over this, and with that, DreamNekoTV has gained over 40k followers at the time (Right now she sits at ???k at the time of uploading this post).

So 2019 wasn’t the best year for artists.

With the kun0 controversy, I wish it had a much MUCH bigger impact, not only for the art community, but like the entire world as well, for non-artists like the creators I mentioned above have expressed.

But wait, things get a lot WORSE in the art community!

An artist under the name @Naju075 made this picture of Nessa and there’s nearly a thousand comments, most of which are people talking shit about “neSSa iS nOt BlAck eNOugH” or something like that, then there’s people who of course defend the artist, telling the artist to ignore the haters and even a meme of the art police who think they are vs who they are in reality (the former is they’re being like normal cops and “making things right” and the latter they’re straight-up clowns). This kickstarted a running gag amongst the art community where artists would occasionally make pictures of Nessa with intentional different color skins, including one from BOW with a rainbow Nessa, and even one from hews with a completely white Nessa intended to bait.

But that isn’t the worst of all, the next thing I’m going to discuss is the grandest worst thing from the art community yet:

Tutorial artist Manga Materials had posted a “Difference on a beginner and a pro’s line strokes” tutorial (which you can see on her Pixiv Fanbox now), this had caused controversy by a couple of assholes (Here are the culprits compiled by Andyface) were harrassing her because they thought her tutorial was “offensive” for the “beginner/pro” part. This harrassment was so bad that Manga Materials herself lead to close her English Twitter account for good, and she’ll continue doing tutorials on her Pixiv Fanbox account. She still has her Japanese Twitter account but she’s taking a break from it for a while and continue her work on Fanbox.

(Messages from her Fanbox: 1, 2. (Even though that second one is similar, but there’s still a different message in there))

This was the second artist scandal that pissed me off so grandly, it breaks my heart seeing artists suffering like this. I wish I could continue supporting her and see her tutorials, but I hate Pixiv Fanbox because it won’t let me use my debit card, and her subscriptions can be... quite expensive to say the least.

Like the LOLICEPT incident, as I mentioned that Manga Materials had deleted her Twitter, I don’t want to judge her decision, especially for a very sensitive person, I just would really like to see her pictures archived or anything. We’re going back to square one with the archive thing I mentioned with LOLICEPT above. (I wouldn’t like to be repetitive)

There’s another artist controversy that happened on early July, but it isn’t much about harrassment, it’s about plagiarism. Sky-Freedom had posted an Oneshota series titled “Rich Thots” starting on January this year (or late December because there are some pictures that Sky-Freedom hasn’t posted on Twitter; and the series wasn’t explicitly called Rich Thots, but the first pictures had “rich_thots” as the filenames so people took that as the series’ name), I never got to see the NSFW pictures from his Patreon until late June, I managed to save every picture right on time. Then, on July 1st, I checked my mail and I saw a picture Sky-Freedom posted, then I visited his Patreon... and every single of the JK oneshota pictures are gone. Sky released his apology and I was utterly shocked. It turns out that the first picture Sky made was a straight-up copy from a similar picture made by an artist called Shinjiro (@shnr2626/@shnjr4545). To think that Sky-Freedom himself would copy from another artist... This is hard to believe.

I want to keep supporting Sky-Freedom, but at the same time, I don’t want to anymore. Not because of the fact he plagiarized, I want to keep supporting him but I can’t even bother to care for his other content, such as Tejina Senpai and Azur Lane doujins which he sold at C96 like fire.

I wanted to ask Sky and Shinjiro about it but Shinjiro blocked me on Twitter (at least he blocked me from his talk account, I’m still following his art account fine), my obsession was so great that I even went so far on making a Twitter account (It was originally @JKOneShota but I changed it to @SkyOneShotaFan to be more a direct reference to being a Sky-Freedom JK oneshota fan account) to try to spread word and try to make both artists to communicate each other a lot more with the help of my feedback as to what I believe in the pictures themselves, unfortunately the account hasn’t met my expectations on spreading word and everything like I wanted, I want to delete the account now but I’ll leave it for historical purposes, even though it was meaningless. At least it serves as an informative account or something.

August 28th, 2019, the shnjr4545 Twitter account posted a new tweet, I signed in the Save Rich Thots Twitter account and spammed “ JKおねショタを復活させる” (Revive JK Oneshota) to that tweet, as well as the previous one (Seeing this image just adds fuel to the fire on the controversy) and... got blocked. I thought this was a pure art account and didn’t give a crap on people, yet here I am. 😂

So, yeah, Shinjiro pretty much doesn’t want you to talk about the Rich Thots series at him, or else he’ll block you. Don’t asking him anything about it, just stay silent.

But wait, after all that ranting with Sky-Freedom vs Shinjiro over Rich Thots, on October 7th, Sky-Freedom has revived the Rich Thots series and OH MY GOD, I COULDN’T HAVE BEEN HAPPIER. My heart and faith on Sky-Freedom has completely restored! (So much for that “protest” account. Although from October 7th to November 18th was kind of disappointing but I hope the next few weeks will start to get better. Even with the two new onee-sans featured lately, I wish Sky can reuse the other three girls before the plagiarism bullshit. At least change the two black haired girls a little bit and the blonde gyaru is 100% original)

Another thing I want to talk about artists is how at least two of them have been driving me insane with their art block. Moisture and sub_res, but the latter is the absolute worst). There isn’t really much to talk about with Moisture other than he just complained a lot about his “inability” to draw and stuff, I forgot when it happened but at least he’s stopped complaining. Now, moving on to sub_res and boy, I seriously hate this guy now. He complained literally every single day about his art block, his inability and all that stuff and no matter how many people tell him his art is fine and all that, sub is very neglective about listening to his fans and everything. He’s still going and at this point I really don’t want to follow him anymore if he continues to whine like that.

I seriously shouldn’t underrestimate the struggles artists have because I’m an expectator, but even if I’m a hobbyist artist, I do have my struggles to, but I do deal with them, I’m more confident with whatever I draw than sub does, especially when I don’t have such a mentality when I see some fine ass drawings as utterly shit (well, sometimes but most of the time not really) like sub.

There’s yet another artist drama around early November with artist Piukute062. It all started with him uploading this NSFW looking picture which it became the loading screen for the English version of Azur Lane. When I saw this picture, I thought it was super hot, but it was NSFW enough to be in a Azur Lane loading screen contest, and it happened... but only for an extremely short period.

As soon as the loading screen went live, it got removed out of the blue. Then a day later when Piukute posted a WIP for his next art piece, he stated that it got removed for the R-17 art, which it was expected because I always thought it was NSFW enough to be in the contest, but at the same time it sucks that it got removed. Two days later, he released an apology note to put an end to this drama for good.

Now, I’m glad that he’ll continue to do artwork for Azur Lane, whether fan arts or official, and he’s learned from this drama, but to be honest, I’m kind of conflicted about this...

Seriously, 2019 wasn’t the best year for artists.

Anyways, sorry for dragging all my talk with art and artists, but this shit matters for me as I’m more of a hobbyist artist. Anyways, let’s move on to even worse things that happen in real life.

On May 22nd, I went to Walmart with my mom and older sister, I find the Matchbox Jurassic World cars I wanted to buy, and we did, but when we were checking our bags when we were about to leave and pick the taxi, the cars went missing and we went rushing on searching for them, then a man came and and asked for the cars, and we were glad that this man came to give us the cars, but my mom and sister were in an argument and yelled at me that I need to be more careful, I felt a little sad and broken I had to make a thread about what happened, then my older sister messaged me on Discord and said that her friend saw what I posted and then she apologized. A friend of my sister, okay? Uh, okay.

Before I continue, let me address something: I think around early June or something (It’s been a while and I forgot), I was in the RPG Site Discord server and people talked shit about Persona 5, and pretty much everything they say about the game just hurts my soul so much that I decided to make a TwitLonger post about why I’m practically done with the Persona series for good. Later I made a bit of off-topic rant, going a bit existential and then I went to sleep. Then at 7 AM, my mom just came to my bedroom and she argued with me about the depressive stuff I write, she even went so far that the government was watching me. (Now that I think about it, there’s no fucking way that’s true). Later I checked Discord and my older sister DM’d me saying “My friend saw your stuff again, you need to lay off the internet for a while. You take people’s opinions too seriously.” It seems like my sister’s friend was apparently my stalker, this was starting to feel like 2014 all over again when I got stalked by one of my sister’s old friends. Wow, way to keep ruining my life for my “own good”... Thankfully a while later, they got suspended, and when they got back, they stopped following me. Moving on...

Etika... What happened to Etika was really sad. I don’t really want to talk too much about Etika because I’m scared that I may speak ill of him, but everything that happened to him leading up to his death sucks. Then there was also the Kyoto Animation arson, which that was an absolutely horrendous even to ever happen in Japan in recent years.

Around the same time Etika died, and I shit you not, a few days later, my older sister was hospitalized for her behavior, I don’t really know what happened but I remember hearing my mom having a phone call with the hospital and then i heard my older sister yell “WHO ARE YOU CALLING TO?!” and then they left and she got hospitalized.

Then around the same time, there was quite some problems with a DM group made by one of MysticDistance’s friends. First off, I’ve had quite some rough times with MysticDistance’s DM groups and I seriously feel bad because I hate being the way I am with my opinion vendetta, I can be quite a bitch. Anyways, with this new DM group by one of Mystic’s friends, first thing was that when my older sister was hospitalized, I spent most of my money buying stuff from Steam because it had the Summer Sale at the time (and bought other things that was a little expensive like Wallpaper Engine), then when I noticed my debit card’s wallet (Yes, I finally got a debit card, more details later), I started... e-begging, to get a bit of money so I can get like 300-400 pesos back because I needed the money for the three of us to go see Spider-Man: Far From Home, someone brought up the subject of our finances and one person got really mad at me because when I had shared my PayPal.me link about my financial struggles, someone else shared the other person’s PayPal link about their... cancer donations, and the person who made the tweet linking their PayPal for cancer donation really lashed out at me real bad, later I eventually clarified and all seems went to normal.

There was another situation in that DM group but we’ll get into that later.

Also, let me rephrase that, when my older sister was hospitalized, I spent most of my money I was supposed to use for Spider-Man: Far From Home buying shit from Steam! Man, I can’t get any worse. But don’t worry, my financial struggle quickly got fixed as one of my friends definitely volunteered to give me 20 dollars, which equals 400 pesos! The dude just saved my life.

My Summer vacation was the most boring and shallow vacation I’ve ever had in my entire life.

August came and went, and while the first few weeks were fine, like around the middle of the month, it just turned into absolute hell: Spider-Man leaving the MCU... but then that quickly got resolved a month later.

September came and there really wasn’t much big things to talk about, moving on to October boy, my 20th birthday was the absolute best I’ve had in my life. Still nowhere near the kind of birthday I always want, but I got some surprises and stuff that I’ve always been looking for. I’ll address this later in the positives of the year. Although there’s something I have to say which made me sad, but thankfully happened a day after my birthday: One of the Custom Maid 3D2 artists I’ve liked, kirishima_ss (NSFW, click with discretion) blocked me on Twitter after I tweeted them that yesterday was my birthday. Like... seriously dude? I just turned 20! Did they block me for the sake of not getting suspended from young accounts interacting with mature ones?! Or are they racist?! I kinda want to tell the other Custom Maid 3D2 artists who follow me but I don’t want to get them in trouble and they’ll end up getting blocked too...

Then like at the end of the month, I also got kicked out from the one DM group because I shared one of MysticDistance’s tweets saying something about popular series and whatnot, I asked what do they think and everyone proceeded to give answers like “I don’t care” and such. Me bitching out, I was like “...Really? Try to put some more heart to it” and one of the guys used me as an example of if a series is popular I kinda get angry with opinions and something like that, I asked that if that was really necessary to use me like that, and then I noticed that I got kicked out of the group out of the blue. I asked SAL about it and it appears that one of the people who was in the chat blocked me, I immediately thought of this one person and she did indeed block me. Well, okay, I always had the feeling she hated me anyways. (ROT13 message incoming)

Ebfr naq Wnevq, vs lbh obgu ernq guvf, ab, V'z abg tbvat gb haoybpx lbh. Jryy, V qvq sbe gur fnxr bs lbh ernqvat guvf, ohg bapr lbh qb, lbh'yy creznaragyl erznva oybpxrq sbe gur erfg bs zl yvsr orpnhfr V qba'g jnag gb frr lbh nalzber.

Wnevq, lbh'er fbzrgvzrf qvssvphyg gb gnyx jvgu, ohg Ebfr, V'z fhcre fpnerq bs lbh xabj gb gur cbvag jurer V ernyyl pna'g nccebnpu lbh ng nyy, V nyjnlf unq gur vzcerffvba lbh fgnegrq gb ungr zr rire fvapr gur gvzr V r-orttrq, naq abj lbh qb ungr zr naq lbh whfg xvpxrq zr bhg bs gur QZ tebhc, irel sbaq bs lbh gb trg evq bs crbcyr yvxr zr, V ernyyl tbg bire lbhe areirf jvgu gnyxvat nobhg gur fnzr vffhrf V unq sbe gur ragvergl bs gur lrne be whfg orvat n cynva nffubyr.

V qba'g ernyyl pner vs V'z xvpxrq bhg bs gur QZ tebhc abe V jnag gb erwbva, V jnf trggvat gverq bs frrvat zl Zrffntrf gno trggvat gur 1 vpba rirel qnl. Fb ybat.

November went by and nothing very big, but I have to say, and this isn’t much of a positive nor a negative thing but I need to address this here, on par with the first paragraph of this segment: When I opened Chrome and started checking on my WordPress site for my project and under my pen name, I came across two which were posted on October and I really have never noticed it in a month. The first one was just a guy saying “Hype!” because he was intrigued with my project, but the second comment from the same guy... was quite a long harsh feedback I’ve gotten so far. (Not the first or the most unhelpful (although it kind of is) but come on). The only feedback I genuinely care for my future as an author is I want grammatical issues, narrative issues maybe so I want everyone to give me suggestions on what do I do with certain characters I’m not sure about, but issues about the concept?

Let me real about this, the only kind of feedback I care about are grammatical issues, narrative issues maybe because I want to fix some character backstories and other things I’m not really sure with, but issues with the concept and everything? I don’t give a shit. Can’t there ever be some liberties with having to make some things without considering too much backstory or anything?

Oh, I almost forgot to tell something from November, I FINALLY GOT MY PS4!!! Though... the outcome didn’t turn out as hype and peaceful like I wanted. My mom and my older sister started arguing because mom used all of my sister’s money, and my sister got aggro. After seeing my mom and sister argue, my mom told me to come with her to go back home, but I turned and walked away from her and I said “I’m not going because you’re useless”. But then, I immediately felt bad and tried to search my mom around the plaza, but whatever, I decided to go home once and for all while my older sister was still hanging around in her own.

Later that day, my sister came back home, she and I finally set up the PS4 and I started playing Dark Souls 3 (Yes, I now understand how Git Gud feels like), but then mom came back home and she and my sister started arguing again, they even went so far to return and sell the PS4 back, then I (tried really hard to) pillow yelled that they were gonna sell the PS4 as soon as we bought it. But then, the next day, all got resolved and it turned out to be my sister’s fault for something. I have no idea what just happened, but hey, we’re not selling the PS4 anymore!

Seriously, my mom and sister are incredibly stupid, I always think their chemistry sucks. I wish either of them are dead already if this kind of shit continues to happen.

Anyways, moving on. December came and went, and the biggest thing that first happened and must talk about: The Game Awards. This was the biggest waste of time I’ve ever been, and the absolute worst one yet. The only things that I cared about were the No More Heroes 3 trailer (which I’ll talk about later), DMC5 winning Best Action game, and Death Stranding winning a couple of awards (I’m truly disappointed that it didn’t win GOTY, but at least it was something), everything was maximum sleep.

Anyways, Christmas came and I got some decent gifts: I got me a fluffy blanket, a new wallet and 500 pesos from my aunt. I got a new bath coat and a wristband from my mom. They’re good gifts but they certainly don’t top last year’s Christmas gifts where I got a new phone and Spider-Verse. (Speaking of which, I wanted to buy the Spider-Verse wristband but mom didn’t want me to because she thought “nobody wears wristbands”, and somehow she changed her mind with the one she just gave me. Now I need a ring so my hands look cool). I hope next year I get much better gifts, something crazier and expensive, though I might be asking for too much. Same with my birthday. But hey, at least the chocolates are always a nice side-gift (?) to get. (We always get bags full of various chocolates for Christmas, and got one for my birthday too)

This last paragraph wasn’t so much of a negative thing as it is more for positive, and this category is more like a long telling of my life in general throughout the rest of the year anyways.

And now we’re finally here, New Year’s day and, what else? You’re reading this post talking about my life throughout the decade and my long 2019 review.

Seems like there’s nothing else to discuss, so I think we’re done talking about the mostly negative things that I’ve been through in my entire life this year. But we’re just getting started...

The positives

For the most part I have pretty much discussed a lot of very negative things that happened in my life, but I had to do it so I can get it out of my way and I want people to understand what I’ve been going through in my life this year. It may or may not be worth getting sympathy over something that’s always my fault and stuff that is common in life, but at times it really drives me to give up on achieving my dreams and kill myself, but now the entire year wasn’t that bad like I think it is, so let’s discuss my biggest positives:

Starting around January, I finally got to have my own debit card and that seriously changed my life... For the better and for the worse. You see, the one thing I always do with my money is spending over 100 pesos on supporting artists, mainly on Fantia every month(Sometimes on Patreon when their pages are the ones that take away my money instantly, I’ve seen some that don’t really take away the moment I subscribe to one of their tiers), I also bought porn illustration CG sets in DMM FANZA. At some points, I went into a serious financial struggle. So yeah, I pretty much always spend my money with porn every month. I kind of wish I could try to save my money a bit, but sometimes, the Fantia artists’ content is too good to ignore them (Some pages have their contents posted limited for a month, others are unlimited).

I haven’t spent my money only on porn alone, I also bought games on Steam, especially during the Summer Sale. I bought various Valve games, Melty-Blood, etc. Even long after the Summer Sale, I managed to buy Killer7, Saya no Uta and Custom  Order Maid 3D2 (English Steam).

Man, my debit card is my best friend, I can finally start buying stuff and supporting artists I really care about, though the only problem is that I want to support artists on Pixiv Fanbox but Pixiv (Yes, all of Pixiv) won’t allow me to use my debit card at all. Sometimes Google Play is for some reason broken because when I try to buy stuff from Fate/Grand Order and Azur Lane, I always get an error despite putting my information correctly, but I hate Pixiv the most because they definitely strictly want credit cards. Sure, I can still use PayPal to support artists on Fanbox, but there’s no way anyone would ever give me money on PayPal.

Another best thing that happened in my life is that I finally achieved one of my long gaming dreams, I finally own a PS4 after years! Though, like I said, the outcome turned out grim, but still, I finally own a PS4 after so god damn long! My first PS4 games are Dark Souls 3 (We bought it along with the PS4 from some promo in the RadioShack we bought the PS4 from), Devil May Cry 5 (I never expected my older sister to buy DMC5 from Amazon a few days after buying the PS4 already), and lastly Death Stranding in December. November was basically Buen Fin (Mexico’s less chaotic Black Friday), so that’s how we got the PS4 after so long! (Though given how much I play DMC5 and Death Stranding lately, I don’t think I’ll ever touch Dark Souls 3 ever again). Man, I really hope I get enough money to buy so many releases we missed over the years!

About my novel I always wanted to make... Well, don’t really get me started on it. I still haven’t started publishing chapters of it at all. But still, early this year, I started making accounts with my pen name my older sister come up (I told her that I want her to help me out but as her feedback grew ludicrous, I gave up and decided to follow what I want to make myself), I’ve also been making a site with Wix, but several months later, I gave up with Wix and decided to make another one with WordPress.com and it’s so much better.

Even if I haven’t started publishing my novel’s chapters, at least I have been trying to write some of the prologue alone! So that’s something, I guess...

One of the best things that has happened to me on Twitter so far is that I’ve been getting followed by a few Japanese illustrators, but mostly Custom Maid 3D2 artists, and I can’t believe I happened to be friends with at least two who I really like talking with the most. Not only that but some also made collab pictures using my OCs and boy, I couldn’t be any happier. (See the collabs here, NSFW). This is how it feels like when having your favorite artists follow you but they also make pictures of your OCs. I’m very grateful that these Japanese artists are following and even talking to foreign nobodies like me, let alone Mexican.

Oh yeah, there’s also the fact that I’m attending fine arts school now, but it isn’t my best positive thing, I honestly feel mixed about it because my mom forced me to go to school again after a year being a NEET. But then, around earlier December, I got some scolarship money and just when I was thinking that I wanted to give up on attending this school after a year, the money just convinced me, so I think I have to stay a little longer, I guess...

And now, it’s time for the one big speech I want to make so my soul can finally be clean and set free once and for all!

My current mental health and trying to get my last laugh on everyone

As you probably might have guessed, my long struggle of dealing with people’s opinions and criticisms is never going to stop. No matter how much you tell me to ignore people with what they say and still try to like what I like, no matter how much how much you’re gonna tell me that I need to take a break from the internet for a while, none of that shit is going to happen.

I won’t take off the internet for a while because I don’t know what else to do (besides gaming and other things), I’m gonna get bored to death and there’s a lot of things that makes me happy, being fan arts and porn.

No matter how much you tell me and I promise to myself that I need to behave myself, I won’t keep my word and I will always continue to make fuss about everything about people’s mentalities when it comes to what they say and everything else in this life.

Everything I was a loner in 2015, as years went on, I’ve started to become more socially active and I have made more friends. But now, I’m not grateful for it. I wish I hadn’t made friends. I wish I remained an absolute loner for the rest of my life.

Let me try to make one last rant and hopefully somebody will understand and I will be free.

I don’t know what the hell is wrong with everyone, everyone always tends to attack some things I really find okay with or for no reason. Everytime I watch something bad, I’m like “Hm, okay, that wasn’t so bad”, and then literally everyone goes way too far by being insecure asses yelling at everything on how offensively bad these things are. I know I had some experience too, but most of the time, I don’t really care, either from fandoms or just general communities that have some things in their interests.

Even if people tell me that they don’t have problems that I like what they don’t, that doesn’t change their hypocrisy, they’re cynicism! It’s not just one person that has a contrary feeling to mine, it’s always, ALWAYS a god damn circle of cynics that I can’t even want to interact with them and get along!

The biggest problem is that even if I were to enjoy what I enjoy and ignore people that they don’t, there are people that are even precious to me, but my hopes and dreams immediately get destroyed the moment they say one bit of negativity around something I hold dear the most in my life and it’s an absolute red flag an absolute offense for me!

Talking about things, for example, Overwatch or even Star Wars with Rise of Skywalker, or even the Fate fandom, pretty much any community is absolute cancer. Even for general communities, hearing and reading what people are saying about stuff you like but then they proceed to say things that they expect you to believe is nothing but a social taboo! There is no fucking way that I’m gonna agree to literally everything you say and my means by disagreeing opinions is always by lifting my voice and fight for it! It’s a social taboo to the point that we’re not even “mutuals” because we have nothing in common!

If you even dare to tell me that you’re not forcing your opinions or anything, then don’t even bother telling me to not force my opinions because that’s what I pretty much want! I want to force my opinions towards people until they give up and admit that I win!

It’s even worse when there are “fans” out there that are just outright bashing things for absolute no reason! If you do that, you’re basically destroying your pride for that series you’re supposed to be into, what it means to you, what it represents you! Sure, I may have some issues with certain things, but at the same time, I don’t really have problems with anything nor I even care to think or even agree to anyone with whatever bullshit they say. I don’t give a shit whether nothing is perfect, well it is for me and my heart, as long as I have fun or don’t have problems, that’s it!

People think they’re fans of a certain franchise they represent, but no! Why can’t anyone become real fanboys to the point that they’re more like blind fanboys like me where I tend to support literally anything regardless of some situations!

It’s even dumber that there are people asking for people to make “good” things or anything that they think it’s “good”. First of all, please for the love of god, define “good” because you clearly have no idea what do you even mean or even want. If you think you want people to make “good” things as a general principle of life, you’re dead wrong! There’s no way anyone would ever make “good” things or whatever you want, instead, you might be thinking that the good stuff you want is stuff for you. So stop abusing the word “good” as a means of a principal rule for every creator to make, and instead try to find some things that you may find interesting, things that speak to you, by yourself!

The worst thing yet is that people abuse their opinions as “facts”. Like, seriously?! You do not use your opinions like that and call them “facts”, no way in hell anyone will ever believe you!

I always thought that people expressing their opinions by text is just harmful for me but I’m sure if anyone are able to speak it out by voice, then I wouldn’t have any trouble, but voiced opinions are no different because of the god awful tones people make with their voices! (This is part of why I don’t like watching The Unreal Bruhcast anymore)

So from now on, I don’t really care about pretty much everyone’s opinions. Not from friends (Belsheber Rusape, Pixelbuster), not from family (my older sister), not from YouTubers (Jacksepticeye), not from artists (Akai Riot), anyone! I’m really sick of anyone voicing their opinions, mostly expressing hate for everything I’m curious of, and what I hold dear the most, because I hate everyone, I really hate everyone so much!

You people have failed me! You have failed me! As friends! As mutuals! Everything! I have thought really high of you but then you always blew everything up the moment you start talking shit about the stuff I hold dear the most! I don’t want to be with you anymore! You always try so hard in trying to convince me by heart to ignore whatever bullshit people say with your empty words! Either that or I will seriously never learn and I will continue to talk shit right back at you!

By the way, @BrinkOfMemories/@BrinkArtist was one of the pioneers for developing my hatred because, my lord, every time I read their opinion tweets, they always gave me an absolute headache and I want to punch them so bad!

Now, let’s talk about my desire and my future of becoming a creator (artist, author, etc).

Every time I see people talking shit about stuff like Kojima’s writing, or any kind of poor writing people talk about, I always think that I would like to walk away from becoming a writer. why? Because I know nothing about the most basic things of “good” storytelling!

Seriously, who the hell do people think they are? They think they’re trying to be better than most of the creators (artists/writers/game devs, etc) are trying to be and what they make? Do they seriously can even understand the thought process of what people tend to make? Why do people always be like “This franchise needs to be this, the core” and all that shit. And what’s with all this “These characters need to be relatable to a lot of people”, “this story doesn’t follow the core of the original“, “this story is predictable”, like, what is all that garbage vocabulary?! This is why there’s no creative freedom anymore!

Not a single fan is even civil with the creators they respect anymore! Nobody really thinks what it’s like to be the creators they love and hate like I do, as someone who wants to get in the entertainment industry in some way! They can’t even think what it feels like to be the creators they inspire/aspire to be!

You think people like you who think they’re better than most creators do and even go so far by fixing some of their works because they’re incredibly flawed and all that shit, to be somebody but the fans themselves, they don’t! They think that people should make stories or anything and expecting them to be great instead of developing any sort of trust and cofidence and even try to be more hyped to check their works out regardless of quality, and then let everyone have their creative freedom!

I’ve had some really harsh feedback where in my project I want to make so bad that I tend to draw characters only to be shoved in the story by just showing them off and don’t have any real purpose, I don’t really give a shit! I’m just trying my best to figure out what kind of characters do I want to make or whatever! This is the kind of feedback that affects me so god damn much to the point where I seriously try to give up on making my project a reality! When that shit happens, I always think that I should give up in making my project beacuse nobody deserves to see my masterpieces I have in mind, my magnum opus I’ve been trying to develop for years! All because of your stupid intellect and you seriously think you have the means to make a “great” story with great storytelling, memorable characters, and everything that makes you think they’re so good, why not try to make that story with said things or even try to write my project yourself?! This is my kind of creative freedom I want to have and you people always destroy it! Not to mention that you always ask me what’s it even about and I seriously can’t process to answer what it actually is! It’s nothing but peer pressure!

Then there’s also another feedback I’ve gotten about my project as the “Why this?”, I get asked a lot of “Why...?” because people always want to look for a purpose for literally EVERYTHING and it makes me sick! Sure, I do have some things in mind for some things having a purpose, but dear god, can’t you just let anyone try to make anything without having to think of a story way too much?!

Speaking of which, there’s always these kind of people who are like “This character is my favorite because of their great actions” and whatever, and I’m literally the only one who’s just like picking a character and calling them my instant favorite from their designs alone! I may be a simpleton of a brainlet who thinks that way, but if you’re gonna force your opinion that the character I like is terrible, get out of my sight! Isn’t it something like a friend tells you “Hey, see that guy/girl over there? I think he’s/she’s hot.”, huh?! Shouldn’t it be the same for fictional characters as well?

If there are tons of things you hate in fiction so much, then I’m bound to make the same mistakes as everyone else! Make a gacha or any other things you hate that are being inserted in fiction! And do you have any idea why do creators keep putting things you hate? Because they have creative freedom! They can do whatever the hell they want! Why not let them be?! What about yourself?!

And then things get worse, there’s always a bunch of SJW assholes who always attack artists because they “promote pedophilia” when they draw shotacon/lolicon stuff? That kind of shit ALWAYS happens and it seriously need to stop! You seriously have to think that all what they do is ONLY FICTIONAL, you should keep that up in your god damn asses and never show up with these artists ever again! That’s the thing, aside from writing, why not let anyone draw whatever they want to?! Don’t you people know the rule that you should separate art from artists at all costs?! I draw gore and some dark shit a few times, but that doesn’t mean I’m an emo or edgy person! I just draw what I like!

Oh, and if anyone’s going to attack me because of my insecure opinions like this or even call me a p3d0 because I support shota/loli art (keep in mind this is strictly FICTIONAL), please don’t do that and get out of my sight!

Going back to the topic of my project, the project is absolutely top secret because if I become big enough and even under a different name, if I tell and suggest everything to everyone I know, it’s unlikely but some might make allegations about my rude behavior and how much porn I retweet, I’m basically gonna get cancelled and I don’t, for the faint of heart, I DON’T WANT THAT TO HAPPEN, PLEASE! So for all the people I tell everything about my project, I’m grateful for you to support me, but it’s time that I really wish you should forget about me and everything I said and just wait to get surprised!

After everything I just said, let me give one last fuck you to everyone I’ve grown to meet, like and hate

One last time...

I’m never going to be like you! I have my own reasons and I have better issues to be mad about and they’re not something everyone knows or even cares!

I think I am definitely done discussing what I always want to discuss and I really hope you will understand my feelings. Thank you.

Now, let’s finally move on to...

What to expect in 2020: The year and the decade beyond

Now that I’m finally done making my long review for 2019, let’s now finally talk about what am I gonna expect for 2020, mostly about the year and a little bit of the decade beyond!

Although, to be honest, I don’t really have high hopes on what the year and the decade has in store, because we’ve come to the point where we’re now in the age of extinction, pretty much everything and everyone we loved and care are disappearing, so I’m really scared of the future. Sure, I could move on but sometimes it might be hard thinking back on the stuff and people you used to admire not being there anymore...

Anyways, even if I’m going to lose the people and things I care the most in my life, there are still some new things I’m going to discover, so there’s that.

Now, let’s get started with talking about the 2020 things!

Resolutions

Like I said, I’m not really looking forward with making resolutions because I already know that I won’t be able to keep my word, pretty much anyone else might, but for me it’s kind of a big deal. I’m still gonna try to mention what are my resolutions are, and it’ll probably be the last time I’ll do this, so just in case, here they are. If I seriously don’t accomplish these at the very first days or anything, I’m basically doomed:

Release my novel once and for all: After my long ass rant about my future as an author with my project. LIke I said above, I seriously may still have not been able to start publishing at least my prologue alone, at least I’m still writing like 3/4s of it the best I can.

I’m publishing my novel as a serial on my WordPress site because I don’t want to publish them on Wattpad or Royal Road for one because I don’t have a cover, I don’t have the money to pay for an artist I want to make a cover for me nor I want to make like a placeholder at the moment.

Speaking of the cover, after making my pen name, all I did was asking a lot of Japanese artists if they can draw me a cover for the novel... When I’m already aware that I DON’T have money at all (I was asking for spec work). Thankfully some of the people I asked have turned down and most haven’t responded at all.

Let me tell you a little bit of my project. I used to dream of wanting to make this into a game, maybe an RPG Maker one right now, but I had no idea what to do with RPG Maker nor I think I would like to make my own textures and assets, I don’t think I would have gotten patience. But then about 3 years ago, I wanted to write the script for the game, but that turned out to be more like a character encyclopedia book because I really had no idea what kind of scenarios I wanted to write. Also, most of the character biographies was written by a friend who I regularly about my project with. So I gave up on my dream on making my project into a game. Besides, I don’t think I might ever learn game design or anything.

Then like two years later, I just somehow realized and learned the importance of books getting adaptations and stuff, I decided to turn it into a novel instead mainly because I want people to adapt it. So my dream of wanting my project to become a video game is still there, but all I have to do is make a novel and try to talk stuff like how I want to get it adapted or something.

(I’m not sure if that sounds like the best plan for you, writing a novel only for the sole purpose of getting adaptations, but that’s what I really want, to be honest)

I always thought that writing a novel was going to be easy as pie, but trying to figure out how to write the scenarios, describing them, the action scenes and everything is a nightmare!

I have researched quite a lot about the writing process, and the one advice that stucks to me is “You don’t have to write perfectly, just try to write something no matter if it’s garbage”, and that’s what I’m kind of trying right now.

Anyways, here comes the one thing I’m sure I might regret this, but I think it should be time to talk a LITTLE bit about something from my project.

Do you really want to know the name of the project? Well, I can’t give you the full title, but here’s a working title of sorts:

“Cebwrpg SZJ” (Definitely not used with something XIII)

(This is just to throw people off. The people I talked about my project with of course know what it means. And if someone figures out what it means, I’m probably gonna keep quiet. Although I think it might already exist somewhere...)

I’m afraid I can’t tell you what the project really is about, so I might have to leave you in the dark until I publish the novel and there’s a lot of attention and it becomes big, so that’s all you’re getting for now.

I have quite some ambitious goals which you may or may not believe me and might laugh at me but hear me out: I want to become the new SCP, Type-Moon and Marvel.

I want to be like the SCP because every time I look at the website, the creatures and everything, just truly inspires me, I’d love to do something like the SCP with writing a ton of information about my characters and stuff, but the big problem is that I really have no idea how am I gonna translate my thoughts or things into words to make lengthy profiles or something. I’d like to be like Type-Moon because... all I can think of is doing nothing but Cebwrpg SZJ as much as TM is doing nothing but Fate, but then they’re also toying with the idea of the multiverse, even though they never explicitly ever address if the Fate projects are multiverse because most of them tend to have their self-contained universe, it’s a general comic book concept of multiverse with different incarnations of characters I really can’t stop using the comic book things with Fate. Lastly, I’d like to be like Marvel because, we’re going full circle with the multiverse talk, but I’d also like to be like the MCU (Pretty much everyone else is) with shared universe and everything galore. Although for me, it’s not just going to be MCU, it’s also going to be more like the Disney/Pixar Universe theory. I just like shared universes, okay?

I would also love to become a Virtual YouTuber, just to conceal my identity and hide my public appearance, but at some point, I would still like having public appearances in conventions or any sort of these events anyways. The kind of VTuber I’d like to be is just all by myself, I wouldn’t like to be like Nijisanji or Hololive where it’s everything under corporate control and I wouldn’t like to play a character with features I’m not really sure with, I’d like to make and be my own characters.

This is the real job I want to start doing right now, and there’s no way I’m making my novel writing hobby for free, I really gotta get serious and try to make some money off from donations from chapters and eventually the full book release. (I’m planning to publish it on KDP, by the way)

I just want me and my franchise to become something big for the 2020 decade and for the Reiwa era, I want to be something! I want to achieve my dreams as soon as possible and I’d better make it fast! (I only have 10 years to do so)

Also, here’s my retirement announcement for you to read because there’s a reason why I want to stop writing blogs in Tumblr for good.

Try to behave better and be more respectful: Aside from taking people’s opinions seriously, another recurring problem about my behavior is that I always fight with my mom every time I do my older sister’s homeworks. There’s just really something from her that really frustrates me. I do feel like I really start lifting my voice at her for no reason, but my brain just feels like it’s tired of her shit, or that doesn’t want to be reminded or whatever, so I hope I could try my best at trying to have some more patience, but I still have to fight for it.

Get in shape: I gave up on going to the gym at the beginning of Summer because I wanted to rest and because I was gonna attend the fine arts school I go now because I wouldn’t have the time to go to the gym right in front of my house but I get back home exhausted and I want to save hundreds of pictures I retweet on Twitter and bookmark on Pixiv. But then Dumbbell Nan Kilo Moteru came and I immediately regret stopped going to the gym.

But it’s fine because it does show exercises you can do at home, and probably the most basic thing I can do to reduce my fat belly when having a decently fit body is doing crunches. Probably 3 sets of 20 will do, and I really hope I can do this every day. Not just crunches, I also want to do planks, but sometimes I’m not really sure if it’s effective or anything because I want to feel that my abdomen is getting burned or something.

Draw regularly until I improve my art drastically: Back in 2012, I used to draw comics mindlessly, now I’m feeling kind of tempted to draw comics again but this time it’s going to be focused with the Busujima Sisters. As much as I think that I would like to do so, I’m not really sure if I’m prepared to be drawing comics again. I mean, I do have ideas for some panels but I need some time to think better on how to structure things out.

I’m mostly a traditional person, but I really get frustrated on how the graphite is like really buried on the paper and I can’t erase anything no matter what, it’s even worse with lighter pencils, so I think I should also try to learn and have more patience with digital art. It drives me nuts on how digital art works, from brush size vs. canvas size (The bigger the canvas, the smaller even the bigger brushes are going to be) and my least favorite, layers.

So I think I might become a full-fledged artist account, not only by doing Custom Maid 3D2 pictures (Though I’m not really sure because I downloaded a torrent with CM3D2 and COM3D2 with most of the DLC and when I open COM3D2, it’s extremely laggy to the point that it might even be unusable for my laptop), but by posting doodles or even fully colored illustrations (if I have the patience) as well. I have posted pictures a little bit, but I think it should be time for me to become a full-fledged regular artist.

Choosing between traditional vs digital is a straight-up 50/50, but it’s going to be worth the try with both if I were to draw literally every day until I run out of sheets from my sketchbook because all I do is just doing doodles, but that’s the point.

Try to retweet less: This is one goal I’m not really 100% sure if I really want to do and I’m still gonna write it and not fulfill it anyways, so I’m just gonna write this here just in case. I’m always retweeting a lot of stuff, mostly porn, and I’m really concerned about my followers who might see the porn I constantly retweet a lot and they see my name everywhere, some don’t really mind but I seriously need to try to stop that habit for a bit.

Although even if I would stop retweeting, liking tweets is no different, I always retweet because I really like going to my profile and see the tweets I retweeted and everything. Retweeting tweets means keeping the person’s tweets to yourself, that’s what I always believed in my retweets. And yes, I’m lazy to go to my Likes page but I always tend to like replies, so they’re going to be a hassle to get through.

Most anticipated releases

It’s finally time to talk about my favorite part of every year, new releases! I’ve seen some stuff aimed for a 2020 release, but I’ve even seen some that are slated for 2021 and beyond, but for now, let’s talk about what this year has to store.

Although, I may vaguely remember what am I looking forward the most, but I’m just going to talk about the ones that comes to my mind first.

Also, better keep in mind that while some things may have their 2020 release dates, delays are always bound to happen, but we still have to count in some things anyways.

Anime:

There’s just so many anime coming out that I think I might have lost track. Sure, you can look at my previous Fall 2019 Final Impressions post to see what are my upcoming Winter 2020 anime, but here are the biggest shows for 2020 I’m excited for.

Attack on Titan season 4: This is going to be the final season of Attack on Titan and we have come a long way for the finale, especially that the manga is going to end soon as well. Don’t worry, this is slated for a Fall 2020 release, so as of the writing and publishing of this post, we have 10 months for S4 to come out, especially when the manga will finish by then. It’s to be determined if it’s going to be a one-cour series or a two-cour series, but what I expect the most is that it should at least adapt the finale, kind of like how Tokyo Ghoul:re the anime happened a while after the manga had ended or something, except Attack on Titan S4 is going to be faithfully adapted of course.

Akira remaster and new TV series: A 4K remaster of Akira is something I’m quite curious on how it’s going to work, but a new TV series is what I’m the most curious. Apparently, the new TV series is being made so it will fully adapt the manga where the film didn’t (the creator directed the film but the manga hadn’t been finished at the time), animated by Sunrise. I wonder if the Akira TV series will capture the original film’s style or something.

2020 sure sounds like it’s going to be the year of Akira, though 2019 was the year Akira (and Blade Runner) is set and then the Taika Waititi live-action film is going to be released in 2021.

Also, with that being said about an Akira TV series that adapts the entire manga, I think we’ve come to the point that we’re getting anime remakes with the sole purpose of adapting the manga to its ending, see Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood and Fruits Basket 2019. Speaking of which...

Fruits Basket season 2: I haven’t read the manga or watched the original anime, but just with season one of Fruits Basket 2019 alone, I was impressed, so with the second season, I’m looking forward on how will TMS adapt the ending!

Fate/Stay Night: Heaven’s Feel III. spring song: At this point I definitely trust Konnichiwa (the Latin American distributor) and of course they’ll bring it to Mexico and Latin America like they did with the first two films so far, I shouldn’t be begging way too hard on wanting to see them. (I am with Promare if it’s gonna happen)

Evangelion 3.0 + 1.0: It’s been years since we have last heard of Evangelion 4.0 ever since the film got delayed because Hideaki Anno was directing Shin Godzilla, now, the film is finally happening.

This is the one film that I’m sure fixated on wanting for Konnichiwa to bring it, I see Konnichiwa as the kind of distributor that brings big franchises and big hits and Evangelion is such a big franchise for another distributor to bring the film to Mexican and Latin American theaters!

UPDATE - February 1st 2020: As of now, Konnichiwa have announced the following movies they’re going to release throughout the year:

Violet Evergarden

Konosuba

Human Lost

Fate/Stay Night: Heaven’s Feel III. spring song

My Hero Academia: Heroes Rising

So... None of them are either Promare or even Evangelion 3.0+1.0, at this point I truly lost trust with Konnichiwa, they definitely lost me. Although it’s good that they’re still bringing Fate/Stay Night: Heaven’s Feel III and My Hero Academia, but no Promare or Evangelion? Really? Come on! Human Lost of all movies?! Who thought it was a good idea?!

Keifuku-san: As of the writing of this post in December 30th, this is a surprise I really never expected to see! I saw Marissa Lenti’s tweet about “new Tatsuki anime” and the tweet she was quoting was of the Crunchyroll news where Tatsuki teases a Keifuku-san anime, and I freaked out because I’m excited that he’s already working on a new anime already based on his shorts. The teaser was posted two days ago and I seriously hate that I missed it!

With the success of Kemurikusa 2019, I think we’re seeing some sort of a post-Kemono Friends reinassance with Tatsuki by making remakes of his old classics, except Keifuku-san is his most recent short but I’m glad he’s turning into a full-fledged series, I want more Tatsuki! More Tatsuki More Tanoshii! (This is the polar oppososite of “No Tatsuki No Tanoshii” and I hope everybody gets to make a similar phrase)

UPDATE - January 4th 2020: That mystery anime from Tatsuki turned out to be Hentatsu and it’s out today. What in the world did Crunchyroll think it was Keifuku-san though the box did imply it might have been Keifuku-san. But it’s fine, Hentatsu going from shorts to a full-fledged TV series is cool too!

Golden Kamuy season 3: Just when I thought there wouldn’t be anymore Golden Kamuy, it is indeed happening and I’m happy that it is!

Zombieland Saga season 2: I’m impressed with the first season and I’m happy the second season is happening and I hope it’d better pay off the final episode’s teaser, that teaser is just too good to pass it up!

Games:

No More Heroes 3: Easily my #1 most anticipated game of the year! I’ve been a long time No More Heroes fan and I’ve been waiting for a third No More Heroes game for so long! Although the one big thing I’m skeptical for is the soundtrack, since there’s a new composer, being Nobuaki Kaneko, and it’s no longer Masafumi Takada and Jun Fukuda (Though he’s still working with sound design, so that’s a plus), I’m pretty sure the soundtrack will be nowhere near as good as the first two games, and hearing the composer’s tracks in Spotify, my skepticism grows stronger, but we’ll see. Overall, I’ve been waiting 10 years for my whole life for NMH3 and it’s finally happening!

I just need to get a Switch as soon as possible so I can start playing it on launch, but getting a PS4 was my long time biggest priority. So I really hope Suda will do the same with Travis Strikes Again by releasing NMH3 on PS4 and PC!

Resident Evil 3 Remake: With the success of RE2, they immediately started developing Resident Evil 3 Remake, and with the trailers released, I’m absolutely impressed, and it uses the same gameplay as RE2 Remake. Also, Remake Nemesis is looking good. Though, honestly I’m not really sure about the nose, but if there’s one thing that I really love about Nemesis, is his teeth.

Tsukihime remake: The Tsukihime remake is the most infamous and meme-worthy vaporware from Type-Moon that it’s not even a contest between it and Half-Life 3, if “See you in 10 years” thing may be true, then there’s already signs of its existence right now, with confirmation of test plays. So there might be hope that we’re finally going to see something about the Tsukihime remake in the light of day, and even a release date eventually!

(I’m a terrible historian, I don’t really know much about the Tsukihime remake’s history)

Also, when there are news about Tsukihime Remake’s release date, I’m going to play the original! (As long as I finish Saya no Uta because I need to finish that one first)

Half-Life: Alyx: It still may not be Half-Life 3 as mentioned with the Tsukihime remake, but I’m surprised that Valve is finally doing something with their old IP after all these years, it may be a VR but it’s still going to be something interesting. I hope it’s going to kickstart a new reinassance era for Valve if they continue to make amazing games again after Half-Life Alyx, hopefully we won’t see any repeat with Artifact.

Death March Club: This is the very first project Tookyo Games (new studio by Kazutaka Kodaka and Kotaro Uchikoshi) is releasing. Looking back, I was really not aware that Danganronpa V3 was going to be the end of the Danganronpa franchise for good and it makes me sad, there’s so much potential for V3′s univverse to be developed, but it appears that this might be it. I really hope Spike Chunsoft will do something about Danganronpa in its 10th anniversary, hopefully something new and good and not just some lame celebration messages or whatever, I want a new game or a new anime, something new Danganronpa! ;_;

Anyways, even if there may not be any more Danganronpa, I could still follow Kodaka‘s new developments with his new projects (along with Uchikoshi). Teased back in 2018, there are two projects featuring Rui Komatsuzaki’s art, one is a new game and the other one is a new anime by Pierrot, and I’m seriously the most excited for these two!

Movies:

Black Widow and The Eternals: I haven’t kept track with the upcoming Marvel releases right now, so I’d better keep a careful eye out for them. Not only Black Widow and The Eternals are coming out, there’s also going to be the MCU TV series in Disney+, like Falcon and Winter Soldier and WHAT IF...?. I’m especially intrigued for Falcon and Winter Soldier right now.

And for those who are like “Welp, time to stop caring about the MCU because all they want us to do is use our money for the movies and for paying Disney+” when there were news that Kevin Feige says that the Disney+ series are going to be crucial for the MCU, fuck you. (I’m talking to you, Pixelbuster and Macuelos. You boomers)

As for Black Widow, I’m concerned that it’s going to be Captain Marvel 2.0, not only for having SJW trolls (which that wasn’t the biggest deal for Captain Marvel), but rather even normal people bashing it out for its quality, the biggest thing people have criticized at the first trailer so far is Taskmaster’s costume where it looks nothing like the comics. That shit is seriously none of my concern and I really think Taskmaster looks really cool, it reminds me of Crossbones and that’s what makes their military aesthetics so special. (And please swallow that)

Venom 2: I’m supper happy that, regardless of its critical reception, the first Venom movie became a financial success and a cult hit with Eddie x Venom shippers. With that being said about making a lot of money, I’m really happy that they’re working on Venom 2 right away! That post-credits teaser with Carnage is just too good for a sequel to not be made!

I don’t care if it’ll “improve” the first film, I do think Venom 2 is going to be “better” but in a sense of topping the original because of Venom and Carnage, not because of improving the first film’s issues and all that shit! Give me more Venom movies and Venom vs Carnage and I just want the second film to be at the same pace as the first film which my older sister and I loved it!

I really hope the film will still come out in October, especially that in October 2020, my birthday is going to be on Sunday, which that means I’ll finally get to see a Venom movie DIRECTLY on my birthday just like with Joker this year!

Morbius: This wasn’t high on my anticipated movies list, but the trailer was released on January 13th 2020, I must talk about it now: The trailer looks interesting and I’m definitely going to see it, but the biggest surprise yet is that there’s Michael Keaton’s Adriam Toomes/Vulture from Spider-Man: Homecoming at the very end of the trailer. Seems like this is definitely setting up some small ties to the MCU with the Spider-Man characters, and it all depends if Tom Holland’s Spidey will appear in some form with either Morbius or Venom 2, most likely Venom 2 but we’ll see about Morbius.

Wonder Woman 84 and Birds of Prey: 2019 was sure the best year for DC with Shazam and especially Joker, though I’m concerned that the good DC movies period is already going to be over with Wonder Woman 84 and Birds of Prey where people aren’t going to be fond with these films, but I’m still going to see the films regardless. (Especially Wonder Woman 84 because a lot of people had trouble with the first film’s ending smh.)

There’s also going to be major events like the Tokyo Olympics 2020 and I’m curious to see how much of the anime pop culture there’s going to be for global television, but I’m also worried if the way they’re going to handle Comiket without using the Tokyo Big Sight because they are going to use it for the Olympics, and there are also news that they’re removing porn from convenience stores, basically the porn in Japan is being removed for the Olympics, but the biggest thing I’m concerned is that if Comiket 98 taken place in May is going to be the last Comiket for good because I haven’t seen like any news about it and that’s all what the Wikipedia page has, I really hope there’s still more Comiket in the future, even when I don’t really go to Comiket at all because I don’t live in Japan, but I really love seeing artists setting their circles and having their doujins all sold out.

There’s also going to be the Playstation 5, which it may or may not be the best thing in the world to happen right now considering that I just got my PS4 in November, although Sony did confirm that the PS5 has backwards compability with PS4, but then there are also reports that it’s backwards compability with all the previous Playstations and that smells like bullshit to me.

Anyways, I’m definitely not buying the PS5 at launch, I’ll wait in a few years until there are some really interesting exclusives, or even if there devs making new games for the PS5, they’re still bound to be released on the PS3 as well. Just like I did with the PS4, we never bought it at launch and we waited for a long time for cooler releases to get there and that’s where we finally decided on getting a PS4, albeit several years late but whatever.

The PS5 won’t be coming out until the Holidays 2020, so I have an entire year to play with my PS4 and take my best advantage of it, in the meantime, I’ve been playing Devil May Cry 5 and Death Stranding, and hopefully we can get to buy the many other releases we missed over the years.

Ugh, I don’t know what else is coming out in 2020 with different media, but I think that’s enough about my most anticipated releases that I could think of! As time goes on, whenever news about some things pop up, I’m of course going to keep track of those releases!

Conclusion

We have at least reached the end of this long long post I have made yet, I’m sorry if I made you through read all of this insanity, but I really hope you might have skimmed through some parts and read a little bit of the most important pieces, the ones that you find the most interesting.

This was an amazing yet painful but still a fun wild ride with this decade. I’ve had plenty of fond memories and developed lots of new interests, though having lots of suffering in the process, but still, it was a joy to live through out this decade. Can’t wait to see what will the decade have in store. Still not expecting for real life to become the future like we see in pop culture, but I’m sure there’s still going to be some great technological advancements and most important of all, lots of amazing pop culture! (I know lately has been mediocre with neglectful creators and corporates and cringey memes inserted by old men, but who really cares?)

I’m really hoping for a far positive 2020 decade, but as you would expect, countless groups of SJWs attacking innocent artists, scummy corporates, cringeworthy memes and pretty much everything else will remain unchanged.

But regardless, there’s still going to be amazing new things we’re going to discover to love and hate this decade and the Reiwa period!

As I said at the beginning of this post, this is the last post I’m going to make because lately I’ve seriously been getting burned out by writing the same posts and the worst part is that I’m always trying to make them huge and I really have no idea to process these posts. Another reason why is that I want to start focusing on my career as an author, I just need to get over this blogging side to be over and I’m sure it’s going to be even more painful than blogging, but that’s something I really want to focus and don’t want the blogging to get in my way.

As for the future of making posts like these, I’m just going to make like a thread of tweets of my top 10 anime/games/movies of the year with 4 pictures of my top 4 or make a TwitLonger, to make things simple because I’ve really been exhausted on making this post even when I had this MONTHS in the making. Man, I seriously need an agenda so I won’t try to remember certain events that happened.

Anyways, thank you all who supported me over the years and I hope we can continue to support each other out throughout this next decade, whether I succeed with my dreams or not. I love you all. Let’s all do our best, and I so hope I’ll do my best as well, until the day I die!

And just like that, good bye Tumblr. My time is finally done.

UPDATE - February 1st 2020: Nobody is definitely noticing this but every now and then, I’ve been adding some new words into this post. February and I’m still editing this post.

By the way, January was already dismal: I nearly lost my cool with personal opinions again, but my worst nightmare yet is my eternal procrastination. Although I have at least been writing like over 100 words every few days, my constant headache from perfectionism and brainstorming a decent, cohesive and believable story will just never stop.

Not to mention that I haven’t been drawing as regularly like I wanted, and recently, I went back on using my Wacom Bamboo pen tablet and I immediately regret it.

Better not worry, we’re still early into 2020, we only have 10 months to survive and I know I mustn’t rush things, but I really hope I get to be a little more productive as soon as possible.

My Carrd.

[kitkasimba]

5 Things tag

Okay, so I was tagged by @jmplel to tell y’all things about myself in a sequence of 5s. Warning, this is gonna get real long, and I’m going to make it a “read more” thing. So, if you’re really want to know more... PREPARE YOURSELVES. Also, thanks friend! ♥♥♥

5 things you’ll find in my bag:

1. Wallet because it is the holder of my (lack of) money & multitudes of Dutch Bros cards.

2. Important and sentimental notes from my best guy friend, best gal friend, my uncle, and my roommate from my freshman year. These letters are some of the most important things I possess, and they’re all from different parts of my life.  My best guy friend gave me this letter when we first started dating freshman year of high school and I have it because there are a few sentences in it that still hold true of our unbreakable friendship. My best gal friend gave me this letter when I was surprise visited by her 2 summers ago at the San Francisco airport. It was my birthday and every other holiday in the year letter/card and everytime I read it I cannot help but cry because the bond we have is truly remarkable. She’s my best friend, wife, and sister. My uncle gave me this letter when I moved into my resident hall my freshman year of college. He placed it in my rolled up memory foam in a package that was wrapped in half-naked men paper. The “gift” he bestowed upon me was condoms (that I ended up distributing to my friends), but his note was congratulating me on my accomplishments and how proud he is of everything I’ve done. I cry everytime I read that letter too. My roommate from freshman year of college gave me this letter when we were moving out. We were close, but not as close as we could have or wished we could have been. She was the best roommate I could ever hope and ask for though. We were so alike and still keep in touch today, and I keep it because it was the first time living “on my own” with another person. 

3. Well that last one was hella long... sorrynotsorry. I also keep prescription sunglasses (that need updating) because I, too, like seeing in the sunlight. Also, they make everything look like an instagram filter and that is what I truly live for tbh.

4. Allergy pills because I am kind of, sort of, maybe allergic to pet dander... and I have a cat at home-home and living with me in my apartment. Good move Ashley. I also just have terrible allergy attacks from the sun and pollen. Life is great.

5. Chapstick because my lips be hella chapped all the time.

5 things you’ll find in my bedroom:

1. POSTERS GALORE. I don’t like having too much empty space on my walls, so I cover them with posters, flags, cards, pictures, art, etc.

2. A really high (and hella comfy) queen bed with 3-4 blankets and 7-9 pillows (3 are pillow pets and 2 are body pillows). I sleep on a cloud. This is my first time having a bed to call my own that is not a twin.

3. LOTS of clothes (and flannel). I like having options!!

4. Pictures and pictures of my friends and family. Not entirely recent pictures, but people who are important in my life and deserve to be recognized and seen.

5. White Christmas lights that are above my bed and window. They help me wind down at night and they relax me whenever I am feeling too much of anything. Just seeing them makes me feel better. 

5 things I’ve always wanted to do in life:

1. I’ve always wanted to own a Corgi, and someday I will. I walk my past supervisor’s corgi almost every week and it never fails to make me smile. I cannot wait to have a corgi to call my own who I will spend time with and share a home with. It’s one of the only thoughts that actually makes excited for the future (at the moment).

2. Cut my hair short. I’ve been mulling over this for months now and I just cannot bring myself to get it all cut off. Like, I’m talking somewhat of a pixie cut but with a lil more length. Sounds ridiculous, but I’ll explain later why it’s challenging for me. 

3. Come out to everyone... not just people I have carefully selected, especially in my family. I’m pretty much completely out at school (I mean, with my job it’s kind of hard not to be & I have no fear of being out at school). At home, though, I’m out to immediate family except my grandma and dad. I really want to come out to my dad and I was so to doing so towards the end of the year because at the time I had a partner who got involved. However, things didn’t work out and I ended up not doing it... but someday I’ll get that chance--hopefully.

4. Travel to London and Australia. I don’t know why, but I have always had some sort of inclination to go see those two places. It’s probably those red telephone booths and those wombats... But, I would love to see them for myself.

5. Roadtrip around the PNW (or just Oregon, and maybe Washington). I really want to visit Crater Lake again and learn more places about Oregon! It’s a beautiful place and I feel like I have been confined to parts of it and don’t know a whole lot more about its other regions. Oh, and also learn an instrument while on this roadtrip (now I’m just bending the rules and throwing that in there). But I think I’m instrumentally challenged... or just don’t have the ability.

5 things I’m currently into:

1. Tattoos. I am suffering from serious tattoo fever and I just want to get one after the other. I’m trying to wait out until my next one in the summer, but I don’t know... I am really interested in getting a small one on the side of my lower right arm.

2. Reading. During the summer and up until now, I’ve been very invested in the Harry Potter series because it has been my goal for the past couple years to read them. I’m on the final book and I just want to finish the series but I’m finding it really hard to make time to read them with other things I need to do and a part of me doesn’t want them to end. I know I missed the train on these in childhood, but they’re so amazing, and it’s hard to believe that I just got around to reading them. (The length of books and series intimidates me, especially when they’re 400+ pages. Mostly because I’m a slow reader).

3. Working out. I made it a goal of mine to go to the gym 2-3 times a week this term (and year) because I’m paying for the gym at my university and also because I want to channel my extra energy and emotions in a constructive way. Also I just want to try to take care of my body more. (I’m hella sore rn).

4. MOANA. That movie is absolutely beautiful and I cannot get over how amazing it was. It’s in my top 4 favorite Disney movies right now, and I love the music from it. (Lin Manuel-Miranda is a phenomenal human being).

5. TV shows. I’ve been watching more TV shows than I usually have. Like I used to watch shows here and there, but now I’m like “Okay, we finished one show. What’s next?” I just haven’t been invested in them as much before? Or maybe because I’ve gotten older I am able to understand and appreciate some shows more? Currently I’m watching Jane the Virgin S3. I just finished watching A Series of Unfortunate Events... all in one evening. Good job Ashley.

5 things on my to-do list:

1. Do the reading for the one class I had this past week. It’s nothing too much but it’s tedious and I lack the motivation to do it.

2. Finish drafting the email for the people I work with and to make the poster for that other program I have in about a week. 

3. Respond to emails for social activities... I love emails, but sometimes I just do not want to Adult. 

4. Get prepared for Drag Show auditions next weekend!!! AAAHHH I AM SO EXCITED!!

5. Make a list of food to buy within the next 2 weeks. I miss not paying for these things.

5 things people may not know about me:

(Some of you may know these, and sorry. I can be pretty open, so I’ll do what I can).

1. You know how I mentioned I want to cut off my hair but won’t? Well, one of the things I use to mask my (many) insecurities is my hair. Therefore, if my hair turns out not lookin’ so good I am going to feel extremely vulnerable... then again, that may not be a bad thing?

2. I’m in the process of trying to see a counselor. This has been something fairly new because I’ve never seen a licensed counselor. I’ve done volunteer counseling for grad students obtaining their degrees, but never with someone who already has their degree and is out of school. I’m really nervous because opening up to people about things in my past is extremely difficult for me due to self issues. However, this will be extremely beneficial for me because there are some things I need to work out personally and trauma related. 

3. I’ve had pretty short lived relationships... My first relationship (freshman year of high school) was 2 weeks and 4 days (longest). My second relationship (sophomore year of high school) was 2 days. My third relationship (fifth year in college - recently) was 2 weeks and 2 days. I have a feeling the number 2 is not a number in my favor?

4. I have a deep passion for photography and hope to incorporate it more into my life when I don’t have to worry about school all the time. I miss being behind a lens. 

5. While I have accepted the quote “your eyebrows are sisters, not twins,” my left eyebrow is a lil wonky because it has nerve damage. When I was younger, my cousin and I were doing something in the yard and he threw a wooden brick at me and it ended up hitting my left eyebrow. So, my left eyebrow goes flat when I smile too hard. It’s one of my biggest insecurities when people take my picture, but I have learned to accept it (that and my bangs kind of hide it). Its ability to arch is not too great, but she does her best. 

If you read all of this, I’m hella impressed. I’m not too interesting of a person, but something kept you going til the end and I thank you very much for sticking by. 

I’ll tag @sass-and-chocolate, @darth-pope, @latenitetacos, and @kitkatkat18.

Y’all totally don’t have to do this (it’s real long, I know), but I’d love to see your responses if you do. Again, thanks for the tag, Katie! ♥

[inevitably-johnlocked]

do you have a list of podfic recs? i listen to a lot of @podfixx but she just has so many it’s hard for me to narrow down what to listen to sometimes. i’d love to give other podfic creators a chance too!

Hi Nonny!!

AHHHH Okay so I am a loser and don’t listen to podfics even though I know I would enjoy it for long road trips, but AHHH I don’t I’m so sorry, so I don’t have any PERSONAL recs, so the BEST I can do is give you a list of fics that I know have Podfics for them, since as I go through my bookmarks and update them, I’ve been adding podfic links to them because I like having my lists be as thorough as possible, so this will ALSO give me a chance for authors who know they have podfics of their stories can add them to my recs and I can add them to my offline list LOL <3 So here we go, and again, PLEASE SUGGEST PODFICS, y’all! I get so many requests for them that I will love for all 1000+ of my bookmarks to have the Podfic links to them, LOL LOL!! <3

PODFICS 

BOOKMARKED FICS

To the Nines by suitesamba (M, 2,724 w., 1 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Magical Realism, Pining, Angst, John Whump, Time Travel, Fortunes, Time Jumps) – John skips forward in time, and Sherlock reads the signs that point to nine. John knows he’ll eventually be with Sherlock, but the waiting is nearly impossible, and his body is a lot more than transport. A foray into magical realism where all the canon events occur, and a hell of a lot more.

Time on my hands by Mildredandbobbin (M, 7,179 w., 1 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Post S3, One Night Stands, Mutual Pining, Virgin Sherlock, First Time, Sexual Exploration / Discovery) – Virginity’s a construct, a concept—what does losing one’s virginity entail for a gay man anyway? Sherlock wants to fill that particular gap in his knowledge but John won’t, can’t, never will assist and there’s only so much desperately unspoken pining even Sherlock can take.

Software Malfunction by tiger_in_the_flightdeck (E, 16,679 w., 1 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Android Sherlock, Love Story, Unhappy Ending, Angst, Suicide, Jealousy) – “You think I can’t love you? Just because you’re made with metal, and detailed programming?” The doctor propped himself on his elbow, and looked down at it. “I am nothing but blood and bone, and tissue. Things just managed get mashed together in a manner that made me like this. Just like you were put together to make you how you are. When I kiss you-” he did so, briefly, to prove his point. Then more deeply, and lingering, because he could. “When I touch you, or smile at you, does it make you feel different from when others have done it in the past?”

Corpus Hominis by mycapeisplaid (E, 47,709 w., 12 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Case Fic, Fluff, Romance, Frottage, Angst, Anal, Blow Jobs, Rimming, Spas / Massages, Shampoo, Jealousy) - John knows the human body intimately. He’s had plenty of opportunity for study as a doctor, soldier, and lover. There’s one particular body, however, he knows very little about. When Sherlock launches himself head-first into a new obsession and they get sent on a case in an unlikely location, the pair discovers each other’s bodies with confusing yet delightful (and sometimes hilarious) results.

Points by lifeonmars (E, 53,791 w., 42 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || HLV Rewrite / Canon Divergence, Married Life, Pregnancy / Baby Watson, Drinking to Cope, Boxing / Fisticuffs, Clueless John, Angst, Minor Medical Drama, Tattoos, Christmas, First Kiss/Time, Eventual Happy Ending, Love Confessions, Doctor John, Sexuality Crisis, Slow Burn, Case Fic, Drugging, Blow/Hand Job, Emotional Love Making, Parenthood, Passage of Time) – What if His Last Vow never happened? This fic picks up a few months after John and Mary’s wedding, in an alternate universe where Magnussen doesn’t exist, but Mary is still pregnant. Life continues – just in a different direction. And slowly, Sherlock and John find their way to each other.

Albion and the Woodsman by Glenmore (NR [E], 54,437 w., 50 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Post S3, Parentlock, Pining Sherlock, Angst, Family, Drug Use, Depression, Sherlock POV, Light Humour, Reconnecting, Declarations of Love) – Sherlock and John are devastated after Mary Morstan makes her final moves. Sherlock relapses at the crack house, John walks around the world … and a lot happens in between. Parentlock, in the good way.

The Vapor Variant by 88thParallel (CanadaHolm) (M, 72,684 w., 18 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Post-THoB, John Whump, Protective Sherlock, Guilty Sherlock, Anxious/Worried Sherlock, Virgin Sherlock, Angst with Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, PTSD John, Slow Burn, Mutual Pining, Suspense, Virus, Sickfic, Big Brother Mycroft) – They stood face to face in the middle of a clearing. The dim light of the moon barely allowed Sherlock to see the glassy terror in John’s eyes and the sweat that glistened off his forehead. His nose was bleeding again, blood dripping in a slow stream from his right nostril. They were both gasping for air, John’s eyes locked on Sherlock’s. There was no recognition there, just wild animal fear. Time stood still for an eternal few seconds, and Sherlock took a shaky breath. “John—”Spell broken, John spun and bolted back into the woods. Still heaving for air, Sherlock took off after him.

The Heart In The Whole by verityburns (E, 101,650 w., 21 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Post-TGG Canon Divergence, Drama & Angst, H/C, First Time, Blind Sherlock) – Events after ‘The Great Game’ leave Sherlock dependent on his best friend and colleague. But John has a secret of his own…

The Wedding Garments by cwb (E, 105,390 w., 36 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Alternate Future AU || Alternate First Meeting, Dating / Arranged Marriages, Romance, First Kiss/Time, Heavy Petting, Cuddles, POV Sherlock, Virgin Sherlock, Idiots in Love, Slow Burn / Falling in Love / Dev. Rel., Nervous/Anxious Sherlock, Jealous/Cranky, Hiking, Vacation Homes / Honeymoon, Sherlock’s Family, Horny John/Sherlock, Patient John, Massages, Hand Jobs, Assassination Plots, Hand Jobs / Oral Sex, Case Fic, Emotional Love Making, Bath Time Fun) – This is the story of a young consulting detective who wants nothing to do with marriage and an army doctor who wants to find true love. It’s 2020 post-Brexit England and the British government is encouraging arranged marriages. Candidates meet through state-run agencies and date in hopes of finding love (and tax benefits). Sherlock doesn’t need or want a spouse, at least not until John Watson shows up. Hesitant to give in to his more carnal urges because of the way they derail his mind, how will Sherlock progress toward the more intimate aspects of a relationship? The answer lies in a very special wedding gift.

Shatter the Darkness (Let the Light In) by MojoFlower (E, 109,683 w., 23 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Genie/Djinn AU || Magical Realism, Kidnapping, Genie Sherlock, First Kiss / Time, Case Fic, H/C, Angst, Clubs, John Whump, Mild DubCon, Hand / Blow Jobs, Torture) – Fairy tales are for those who remember how to dream; not John Watson, broken and hiding from his bleak future in a beige bedsit. But then he discovers a lamp and finds himself in the dangerous riptide of an enigmatic man whose very existence is unbelievable, murder charges against his sister, and the growing pains of feeling alive once more.

The Bang and the Clatter by earlgreytea68 (M, 137,049 w. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Baseball AU || Slow Burn / Dev. Rel., Possessive/Obsessive Sherlock, Jealous Sherlock, Mutual Pining, Body Appreciation, Depression, Closeted Sexuality, Family, Sherlock’s Mind Palace, Ogling Each Other, Anxious Sherlock, Panic Attack, Drunkenness, Talk of Forever, Big Feelings™) – Sherlock Holmes is a pitcher and John Watson is a catcher. No, no, no, it’s a baseball AU. Part 1 of Baseball

Performance In a Leading Role by Mad_Lori (E, 156,714 w., 21 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Hollywood / Actor AU, Secret Relationship, Falling in Love, Slow Burn, Romance, Coming Out, Fluff and Angst, Pining) – Sherlock Holmes is an Oscar winner in the midst of a career slump. John Watson is an Everyman actor trapped in the rom-com ghetto. When they are cast as a gay couple in a new independent drama, will they surprise each other? Will their on-screen romance make its way into the real world? Part 1 of Performance in a Leading Role

Gimme Shelter by SinceWhenDoYouCallMe_John (E, 159,368 w., 21 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || 70′s Surfer AU || Period Typical Homophobia, Hawaii, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Professional Surfers, Gay John / Sherlock, Angst with Happy Ending, John was a Sailor, Misunderstandings, Mutual Pining) – All John Watson wants is the feeling of a freshly waxed surfboard under his feet and the hot California sun baking down onto his back. To finally go pro in the newly formed world of professional surfing and leave the dark memories of his past behind him as he rips across the face of a towering blue barrel. To lounge beside the beach bonfire every evening with an ice cold beer tucked into the cool sand beside him and listen to Pink Floyd and the Doors while the saltwater dries in his sun bleached hair. That’s all he wants, that is, until the hot young phenom taking Oahu and the Hawaiian shores by storm steps up next to him in the sand in the second round of the 1976 International Surf Competition. (PUBLISHED AS ‘The Sea Ain’t Mine Alone’)

Proving A Point by elldotsee & J_Baillier (E, 186,270 w., 28 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE ||  Me Before You Fusion || Medical Realism, Insecure John, Depression, Romance, Angst, POV John, Sherlock Whump, Serious Illness, Doctor John, Injury Recovery, Assisted Suicide, Sherlock’s Violin, Awkward Sexual Situations, Alcoholism, Drugs, Idiots in Love, Slow Burn, Body Image, Friends to Lovers, Hurt / Comfort, Pain, Big Brother Mycroft, Intimacy, Anxiety, PTSD, Family Issues, Psychological Trauma, John Whump, Case Fics, Loneliness, Pain) – Invalided home from Afghanistan, running out of funds and convinced that his surgical career is over, John Watson accepts a mysterious job offer to provide care and companionship for a disabled person. Little does he know how much hangs in the balance of his performance as he settles into his new life at Musgrave Court.

“TO READ” FICS

Curlock by 88thParallel (G, 1,285 w. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Sherlock’s Hair, Fluff, Ficlet) – How Sherlock learned to control and appreciate the incredible gift he was born with, and the man who helped him sort it out.

Letters, the Writing of by earlgreytea68 (G, 2,416 w., 1 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Post-TRF/Hiatus) – While he’s dead, Sherlock writes John letters. Part 1 of the Letters series

Let’s Say I Let You In by kedgeree (E, 9,972 w., 1 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Halloween, Costume Kink, Est. Rel., Humour, Smut, Vampire Sherlock, Bloodplay, Biting, Romance) – It’s Halloween and Sherlock’s vampire costume is turning John on, but Sherlock doesn’t quite get the idea of a sexy vampire. At least…not at first. Part 4 of the Holidays series

Almost Home by Berty (E, 13,871 w., 1 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Alternate First Meeting, Captain John, Pining John, University Student Sherlock, Gay Bar, First Time, Anal, Mutual Masturbation, Protective Big Brother Mycroft, POV John, Time Skips, Memories, Angst With Happy Ending) – He pulls out the ID card – the one that Sherlock had somehow seen when he was buying drinks at that awful club. He’s had other ID cards since then but he’s hung on to this one for some reason. He looks at the image of his face, young and pale and idealistic, and he knows that just a month later that man would have found and lost the love of his life within a week, and even knowing that, John wouldn’t change a single thing.

Heart on a String by AngelSpirit (E, 23,257 w. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Alternate First Meeting, First Kiss / Time, Infidelity, Angst, Fluff, Kidlock/Teenlock, Mentions of Recreational Drug Use) – John and Sherlock got married with Cracker Jack rings when they were 7 yrs old. It wasn’t official, but for their whole lives they took it very seriously.

Common Tongues: Unassuming Brilliance by jinglebell (E, 41,174 w., 11 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Anal, Rimming, Snowballing, Language Kink, Blow Jobs, BAMF John, Size Difference, Height Difference, Sapiosexual Sherlock, Barebacking, Size Queen) – John may be predictably average in most things, but there are a handful of areas in which he knows he is uncommonly skilled. He can make a great cup of tea, for one. He’s also good at patching folks up, putting bullets precisely where he wants them, and listening.The one skill that John is perhaps most exceptional in, though, is language. John is a polyglot.

Against the Rest of the World by SilentAuror (E, 43,936 w. || PODFIC AVAILABLE ||  POV First Person Sherlock, Present Tense, First Time, Post-TRF) – Sherlock has been away from London for nine hundred and twelve days and counting, and has no idea what sort of reception to expect when he finally returns. Post-Reichenbach.

Command Structure by 221b_hound (E, 49,034 w., 16 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Post TRF / Not S3 Compliant, Dom/Sub Play, Dom John/Sub Sherlock, Oral/Anal, Anal Fingering, Frottage, Past Child Abuse, Anxiety Attacks, Captain Watson, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Protective John, Slow Build, PTSD Sherlock, Consensual, Past Dub Con, Rimming) – Sherlock Holmes returns from his hunt to destroy Moriarty’s network. He comes home to John, and at long last they start this thing between them that couldn’t begin while Moriarty threatened them. But Sherlock has returned fractured and suffering anxiety attacks. He thinks he needs discipline - the whip - to help him focus and be strong. But his problems are deeper and run back to a childhood of neglect. John Watson is prepared to be Sherlock’s Captain, but he’s a doctor too. His command style isn’t about pain and subjugation. It’s about care and responsibility: and those concepts go in both directions in Captain Watson’s command structure.

Saccharomyces cerevisiae (Baker’s Yeast) by yaycoffee (E, 60,879 w., 13 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Unplanned Pregnancy / One Night Stand, Drunken Sex, First Kiss/Time, Bit of Case Fic, Sally/Sherlock Drunk Sex First Ch.) – Sometimes, one makes an imprudent decision born of a devastating combination of drink and sentiment. Sometimes, the consequences of that decision take on a life of their own. And sometimes, the facing of those consequences shapes every aspect of one’s life–from the hugely meaningful down to the seemingly insignificant. Part 1 of the Knows His Own series

Perpetual Motion by Fay (orphan_account) (E, 75,789 w., 31 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Romance, Unconventional Relationship, Renegotiation of Boundaries, Virgin Sherlock, Changing Sexuality, Masturbation, Orgasm Delay/Denial, Exhibitionism/Voyeurism, Sex Toys, Hurt/Comfort, Angst and Humour, Grieving, Light Bondage, First Kiss / Time, Hand Jobs, Quarrels, Shower Sex, Pillow Humping/Frottage, Oral Sex, Slight Self-Harm, Chastity Device) – Everyone thinks that they’re a couple, but Sherlock’s self-sexual and John’s straight, so they’re never going to fall in love, are they? Even if neither of them can imagine life without the other.

The Blog of Eugenia Watson by Mad_Lori (G, 95,026 w. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || OC POV, Parentlock, Teenagers, Diary / Blogging / Journal, Family, Humour) – I like to think of this not so much as a blog but as the first draft of my inevitably best-selling memoirs. My Life In an Unconventional Family. How unconventional? Well, I live with my divorced parents and my dad’s husband. How’s that for starters? Trust me, it gets weirder.My name is Eugenia Watson, but you can call me Genie. I’m sixteen. This is my life. Note: Work is marked complete for now and is on hiatus, having reached a convenient stopping point. Additional chapters may be added in the future.

Northwest Passage by Kryptaria (E, 95,157 w., 27 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Canadian AU ||  BAMF!John, Canadian John, PTSD, Anal / Oral Sex, Rimming, Emotional Hurt / Comfort) – Seven years ago, Captain John Watson of the Canadian Forces Medical Service withdrew from society, seeking a simple, isolated life in the distant northern wilderness of Canada. Though he survives from one day to the next, he doesn’t truly live until someone from his dark past calls in a favor and turns his world upside-down with the introduction of Sherlock Holmes.” Part 1 of Tales from the Northwest

Drift Compatible by J_Baillier (E, 130.380 w., 26 Ch. || Pacific Rim Fusion || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Alternate First Meeting, Angst, Family Drama, Accidental Telepathic Voyeurism, Martial Arts, Sci-Fi, Internalised Homophobia, Rubbish Siblings, Army Doctor John, Medical H/C, Bullying, Neurodiversity, PTSD, Drug Use, Depression, Mourning, Adventure, Hurt/Comfort, UST/URT) – A washed out war hero struggling with his past. A prodigy who wants nothing to do with his family legacy. Both are looking for something—and someone—worth fighting for in a world where human civilisation is constantly under threat.

Nature and Nurture by earlgreytea68 (M, 203,273 w., 57 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Parentlock, Cloning, Kidlock, Dev. Rel.) – The British Government accidentally clones Sherlock Holmes. Which brings a baby to 221B Baker Street. Part 1 of Nature & Nurture

Radioactive Trees In A Red Forest by Maribor_Petrichor (E, 280,251 w., 73 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Post-S4, Suicidal Ideations, Alcohol / Rx Drug Abuse, Coming Out / Bisexual John, Seizures, Past/Referenced/Implied Child Abuse, Hallucinations, Rehab, Celibacy, Sobriety / Relapse, Slow Burn, Friends to Lovers, Grief/Mourning, Psychological Trauma, Nice /Not Anti-Mary, John’s POV, Parentlock, First Time, Angst, Switchlock, Angst with Happy Ending) – John Watson is what happens when a man can no longer see a reason to go on. John Watson is what happens when a man starts to let go. “It is what it is.” John Watson is what happens when what “it is” becomes too much to bear. This is a story of the life, death, and resurrection of John Hamish Watson.

[sueboohscorner]

#TheFlash S3 Ep 22 “Infantino Street” Recap & Review

Episode Grade:8

Ok, I am in depression mode, but it is still my job to recap the episode, so I am going to do my best, here we go.

We start with 24 hours until Iris death prediction comes through, Tracey is still working on the way to get the Speed Force bazooka to work, and HR bring her coffee. Joe is at home a little space out looking at Iris photo, and hug Wally who walks down stairs. We then see Iris and Barry lying in bed and her asking him to get her Caviar, as soon as she left, Iris picks up the phone and record a message.  

The next morning as Barry and Iris were getting ready, Barry received a call from Cisco with good news. They go to visit Lyla at Argus, and she tells them it was better to talk outside because the building is bugged. The inform Lyla of the speed force bazooka and that they need something powerful to power it and after a search, they have located something inside the Argus building. Lyla tells them that she has a piece of the object from the Dominators ship that crashed in Central City but they can’t have it. Barry questions if it was because of baby Sara, and she said she is curious what it would be like if she had a daughter and not a son, but that was not exactly it. Barry apologizes and tells her he made a mistake and she said that was what she was worried about because the piece of equipment is what wars are fought over.

Lyla explains that if it falls into the hand of the wrong person millions of people could die and she does trust Barry enough right now to hand it over to him and adamantly says no to Barry and Cisco. Barry tells s Lyla that if he doesn’t get it, Iris will die, and she apologizes and still says no telling him to find another way.

Barry and Cisco return to Star Labs, and Barry decide that if Lyla doesn't give it to them, he will steal it, and he and Wally will be in and out before anyone notices. Cisco tells him that the problem was that the facility had a metahuman dampener and his speed won’t work inside. After a lengthy discussion, they figure that they mind are not bright enough to make such a bring thief, making Barry think of the smartest thief he knows and runs back into time to recruit Snart for the mission. 

Barry asks Snart for help breaking into Argus telling him that if he does help him, Iris will die, Snart agrees but with a term that they follow his rules. Back at Star Labs with 10 hours to go, the team tries to come up with ideas, and Barry returns with Snart. The team is not pleased to see Snart mainly because Barry travels back in time to get him after promising not to go back in time. Barry tells them that he also vows to do whatever it takes to save Iris and Joe agrees saying if he says we need Snart we need Snart.

Outside Savitar/Future Barry is updating his Savitar suits and get and memory of Barry go back in time to recruit Snart.  After Killer Frost question is the ability to killing Iris who he has so much memory of, know that she was his first love, but Savitar adamantly reminded her that he was not Barry and she was not Catlin. Savitar tells him that if Iris doesn’t die, he doesn’t exist, and he want’s Barry to hurt and much as he does and that’s by taking his love.

Back at Star Labs, Snart goes out the Blueprint of Argus and tells them where the object that wants is likely being kept and Cisco tells them he would keep hacking to be sure. Barry asks Snart if he has any idea of what else they might have down there and Snart tells him that it doesn’t matter. Snart says Barry to follow his lead, because there were only four rules “make the plan, execute the plan, except the plan to go off the rails and throw away the plan. Barry tells Snart that he is trusting him and Iris agrees and telling that they all were trusting him and he said, “all I ask is not to be seated at the single’s table.” 

Barry reveals his identity to Tracy and tells them that he had a plan to break into Argus and ask that Joe takes Iris away to know somewhere because if he knows Savitar knows. Joe tells him that he would get Wally and he would keep her safe. Barry and Iris spend their last moment together, and she encourages him not to lose himself in the process. 

Joe, Iris, and Wally jumps to Earth 2 and is welcome by Wells, Barry set is watch to a 3-hour countdown and tell smart that it was the amount of time they have before they lose.

At Argus, Lyla prepares for a trip, and as soon as she leaves, another Lyla walks in and tells the guard that there was a change of plan because she received a gift from the flash in the form of Captain Cold as he said no problem if she can pass verification. Barry got through most of the verification but did not know the verbal passcode and knock out the guards. 

Cisco, Tracey and HR walk Barry through the to the room where the device is kept. Meanwhile, on Earth 2 Joe and Iris goes down memory lane and share a dance for old time sake and give her engagement ring back to Barry.

Barry and Snart find the device, but one they transponder doesn’t work, and the look on the door is unbreakable, that was until Snart breaks it in 37 seconds. As they are about to open the door, Snart repeats the first 2 rule of the plan, and King Shark comes to the door and Barry repeat the third rule except the plan to go off the rails.

Barry asks Snart to borrow his gun and question’s Barry actual reason for recruiting him stating that Barry picked him because he thinks that he won’t mind him getting all murder and Barry tells him that he know what he is up against. Snart gives him the gun and Barry tells him to open the door, but Snart advises him against it base on what he has learned from shark week. Snart says Barry that he could lower the temperature of the room to make King Shark fall asleep or he could go along with his plan and prove what kind of badass he was and Barry hand the gun back to Snart. 

Snart repeats the fourth rule “throw away the plan” and throws a piece of his cold gun inside putting King Shark to sleep. At Star Labs, HR recruits Tracy to team Flash telling him that he wasn’t sure where he fit on the team and now he knows and wants her to join him, and she agrees and shares a passionate kiss.

Barry and Snart are in and are slowly walking in as King Shark falls asleep, and the moment Barry takes the device out the door close, and Barry escapes, but Snart is stuck on the inside.

Snart tells Barry that sometimes he has to make the hard choices, and he could use this opportunity to show everyone that he is a rootless badass. With only 2 minutes before Argus agent take over the building Barry contact Cisco to open the door, and he did just in time as King Shark wakes up and he and Barry tag and war over Snart. Barry got Snart out, and King Shark loses and hand but quickly regrows it. 

Lyla shows up and gives Barry the device and tell him that if he went to such extremes that mean it was serious and that she knows that if it were Diggle, he would have done the same. 

Barry return Snart back to his time and Snart gives him some advice “stop trying to beat Savitar at his own game, your goodness is your strength.” Snart tells Barry that they get along because he sees the good in him and he sees the bad in Barry. Snart tells him that it may be sentimental but he thinks the Flash should remain a hero and they shake hands and say goodbye.

In the present Savitar uses Barry’s suit to get into Star Labs and HR mistakenly gives him the location of Iris. Cisco quickly tells Barry that Savitar knows where Iris was and notifies Earth 2 who prepares for his arrival. Savitar injures Kid Flash and takes Iris telling Joe that Iris have accepted her faith and it was the time he does the same. Barry gets to Earth 2, but it was too late, and Joe tell him that he already took her and Wells attend to Kid Flash who apologizes to Barry for not stopping Savitar.

 Back at Star Labs, the team prepares Infantino Street, Barry leaves to a team to plans and meet him there because he can’t know the plan. HR is feeling useless because he gave Savitar Iris location and Cisco encourages him that he was an important part of the team.

As Cisco was about to leave to join the team at Infantino Street, he had a vibe and told Barry that he had had the vision before and he has been dreading the moment and he did not want to believe that he would be this far gone. Barry tells Cisco to save Caitlin, and he will go and save Iris.

Barry is at Infantino Street.

Cisco is in the wood facing off with killer frost. Cisco tells her that he doesn’t want to fight her and she doesn’t want to fight him but she wants to kill him and start throwing ice darts at him, and Cisco used his power to block them but was eventually knocked down by killer frost.

At Infantino Street, Barry uses the Speed Force bazooka on Savitar, and it seems to have been working at first but eventually failed and Savitar kills Iris as Barry sped over to stop him but was not fast enough. We see the recording of Iris reciting her wedding vows to Barry.

Overall, great acting from the actor in the episode, I cried so hard that my eyes were swollen, but I remember reading somewhere that HR dies and how he uses the same device that Barry use to impersonate Lyla to impersonate Iris. 

Let me know in the comment what your prediction is?