#we wouldn't even be in the us the whole time we'd be in canada for a good chunk of it

[faggotwalkwithme]

ughh

[samtheflamingomain]

25.21%

I've been sober for 3 months today. 92 days. 25.21% of 2021.

I could've posted more updates, more milestones (it took a LOT not to post on Day 69) but I wanted to kind of save it up for a Big Day. It was also a decent way to continue to incentivize my continued sobriety: a full pass to do a shameless, hardcore bragging sesh.

Anyway, this post comes in 2 parts: the TL;DR for those who only want the gist, then more in depth on my ability to stay sober, the lasting effects of rehab, etc.

I tried my damnedest to pare this absolute novel down, but it's long, so feel free to dip out if you just get bored. Onward!

TL;DR: I went to rehab the beginning of July for 3 weeks and haven't had a drop of alcohol since. I've lost weight, I'm more healthy, my daily anxiety level went from 8 to 2, I haven't had an anxiety attack in 3 months, and everything generally just seems... easier. My memory and concentration have improved. I've been productive and I've been meditating every day. I'm saving money, and while I sometimes fantasize about getting drunk, that's usually all it is.

Honestly, it's been much easier than I expected, but I think a lot of that is because for the first 3 weeks, the time in which I would usually break down and start drinking again when trying to get sober myself, was spent behind a locked door. So far I haven't had any days where I was close to giving in. I haven't had many days where I've been depressed about it, missing it or really tempted. Maybe 3-4. I've basically just gotten on with my life as if alcohol doesn't exist.

To wrap up the short version for those ready to peace out, I'll leave it with a bit of advice.

I don't feel qualified to give any specific advice, because my story feels very unique to me, and I honestly don't think what worked for me will work for MOST people. Sometimes people spend a year in rehab and still drive straight to the liquor store on their way home.

That said, there's one thing that I've found pretty universally true: you have to really want it. For a while, I floated about without much of a "reason" to stay sober. I don't have a spouse, kids or a job I've been fired from, so I didn't see the point.

It's taken me a while, but after not being "convinced" by a few superficial "reasons" like weight loss and saving money, I thought I needed something more... permanent? Consequential? I now realize that my "reason" for getting sober at a young age after only a few years of alcoholism is that I don't want it to get to a point where I'm hurting other people, drinking myself into multiple lasting health problems... I don't want it to become permanent or consequential.

Anyway, that's my two cents. If you do have something like kids or trouble keeping a job, definitely use that as your reason. But for anyone who's a pretty "functional" alcoholic like I was, "not letting it go on long enough to become disfunctional" is a good enough reason.

This is going to get stupid long, so feel free to walk away now, just glad you read this much and it really does mean the world when people listen to what I have to say.

Now some more things in depth. I'll go in chronological order: what made me get sober, what I took from rehab (and what I left), and how it's been the past few months.

I started drinking when I got kicked out, manic out of my mind and homeless unable to sleep. It took a while until I was able to sleep without alcohol, but by then the addict brain had taken over. I'd tried a few times to get sober myself, but I never made it more than a week without, and always got back to daily drinking after a few months maximum.

Some people need a "wake up call", a "last straw" or a "rock bottom". Something external to make them realize they can't go on as they are. For me, the catalyst was my health, which is more of an internal reason I suppose. I didn't have a heart attack or liver failure, but my anxiety was getting uncontrollable and I knew it was directly tied to my drinking.

My life had been starting to feel tolerable, and I was more financially secure than ever before. Things were looking up... except for the alcoholism. This is a weird analogy but the only one that makes sense to express why, if I was doing so well on paper, I decided to go to rehab: you have to sweep before you mop. If I hadn't been in the place I was, I don't think I would've been successful at rehab. I had to sweep up the cat turds from the floor of my life before I was able to mop up the shit stains with sobriety. I know, I'm a true wordsmith.

When I finally called the hotline that hooked me up with a bunch of different rehabs, I knew I was in for a wait. It was about 5 months from that call to checking in, which isn't too bad considering I've been on the waitlist for a neuropsychiatrist in ALL OF CANADA for 4 years.

That brings us to July 12th, Rehab Day One. I've gone in depth in multiple other posts but to touch on it briefly, if I had to describe my experience in a sentence I'd say "the place I went to got very lucky with me".

What this means is that, of the 5 people in my group, I think this exact program was only ever going to help me. At the same time, I didn't even know what I would need, but this exact program was 90% of it. I didn't think 3 weeks would be long enough, but for me it was. The hours-long, repetitive, basic-ass CBT groups held 5 times a day 7 days a week was absolute torture for everyone but myself. While it was a drag to spend an hour on defining what a cognitive distortion is, the routine and repetition, something I've never gotten out of any outpatient program, helped me to really absorb the information and let it rewire my brain.

I've always said that I'm someone who should be spending an hour a day with a therapist for the rest of my life, and while that's not even remotely feasible, this was as close as it's ever gotten, and it proved me right, because it worked. I've done biweekly therapy for a short time but even that didn't come close to the way my brain changed in those 3 short weeks.

This program required absolute commitment and open-mindedness. This isn't because it was hard work or difficult concepts, but quite the opposite. While I hate the entire concept of art therapy being used as a cure-all for mental illness, I willingly got out of my bed, went downstairs and tried doing a dot mandala for an hour because I'm willing to try anything to get better. A lot of people might think they are, but really aren't. To use the mandala as an example, one guy was really into it, I wasn't, but we both finished. The other 3 tried, messed up a few times, and then scrolled through their phones. When I say this program necessitates complete engagement, that's not a compliment. It shouldn't be a chore to engage with the program. It shouldn't take me actively saying "I know I've known this basic concept since 4th grade, but maybe hearing it again will help" to get something out of a rehab program. So again, in every way, I got lucky, and so did they.

Before I finish with the rehab section, having had a few months to reflect on the whole thing, I now have an endless list of things wrong with it. I arrived, greeted by the most jaded and disillusioned of staff, and quickly became disturbed and at points concerned with just how negligent the staff are.

Maybe it's because I've been on the psych ward where they won't even let you have shoelaces and shine a flashlight on your face every half hour through the night, but it could've been so incredibly easy to sneak in alcohol. I brought 2 full water bottles, fully expecting to have to dump them out upon arrival, but they said "nah it's fine". Is it though?

Then there were actual counsellors there who were... okay. I recall one, the one I thought was the smartest, reading a handout aloud and coming across the word "delve" as in "let's delve into..." and stumbled, then said she doesn't know that word. The room was silent. As she pulled up Google on the screen I said, "it means to dive into it". She Googled it anyway. Synonyms include "dive in". If that was the only example I wouldn't mention it, but this was the first of at least 10 words she had do Google, none past a 10th grade level, from HER OWN MATERIAL. From that point on it became clear that they had no fucking idea what they were doing.

We had one last one-on-one counselling session before we left and the counsellor just filled in boxes to questions on her computer, rephrasing everything I said to fit into the buzzwords and "lessons" we'd "learned". Example. Me: I do think I'm better able to catch myself thinking 'oh I can just have one drink' and say 'no I can't'." Her: "Okay, so would you say that you can recognize negative cognitive distortions like permission-giving thoughts and counter them with a more rational and less emotional mind?" Like girl, blink twice if your boss is holding your family hostage. She gave me some papers, detailing all the online courses they were signing me up for and options for more treatment they'd be sending me, a phone number to call and a phone appointment for the next Monday. I never got that call, the phone number is a hotline, I never got a single email from them, and given how shitty they really are at their jobs, I didn't feel the inclination to try and get those resources. If they even exist in the first place.

In summation, it was a place where it was physically impossible to get alcohol. That's really all I can say in its favor. Oh, and they let you have your cell phone.

Now on our timeline I'm back home. I want to kind of analyze why it's been easy for me.

I often said that my main goal of going to rehab was to lock me away from alcohol long enough for it to reset my brain. Most people thought that was naïve, but that's exactly what happened. But I'm well aware that my experience of "instantly became sober and literally hasn't had a single hard day in 3 months" is absurdly unusual.

I put this down to a few things. Firstly, I'm on seven different meds for my mental health. Almost all of them have their effects dulled or even eliminated when you drink. So when I noticed my mood, fatigue, memory, concentration etc all getting better at once - right about as I left rehab, I don't think it would be a stretch to say that all those meds started working properly.

Secondly, I've been keeping myself busy, but that's something I've always been good at. Now I specifically choose to undertake projects that will eat up a lot my time and put me in a state of flow. I recently made an entire card game from scratch, and let me tell you, I didn't think of alcohol for a week.

Thirdly, my other goals now get in the way of alcohol. I'm getting old and my body is deteriorating. But I've always wanted to do just one last season of gymnastics. Well, I need to lose weight for that to happen. I've already lost 35 pounds, and after another 20 I'll be ready to go. Also, I used to spend more on alcohol per month than rent. Even though I've done a few shopping sprees lately, I haven't come remotely close to how much I was spending before.

I want it more than anything. I want to be sober more than I want one night of "fun" that will more likely than not lead me back to where I was a year ago. I never want to need anything as much as I needed alcohol.

Lastly, just a few more random thoughts.

A lot of people, myself included, worried about the fact that I work at a bar as a cook, but honestly the entire time I'm there I'm thinking about food, not alcohol. If I'm hanging out with some regulars before/after, I can watch them drink and be perfectly fine with my coffee, because the coffee is $2, and I used to spend $20 after every work shift.

I also decided in rehab to start taking better care of myself as best I could. This started with getting my second vax which I'd been putting off, then an eye appointment, then new glasses, then a dentist appointment where I was informed I need to do $3000 worth of work on my implant that's erroding my bone matter, so that sucks, but I caught it early. I've also been meditating every day. In just 3 months, I've made pretty big improvements to my self-care and my daily routine.

One of my fears about sobriety was "missing out" on "having fun". A few days ago, all my housemates got together to play Mario Party, and it was kind of my first night doing something social while sober. It was a breath of fresh air - I wasn't constantly running to piss, I didn't worry about running out of alcohol, I didn't get sloppy and obnoxious as I can sometimes do. I even came very very close to winning my first game of MP. When I reflected on the night, I realized that, if I'd been getting drunk the whole time, I would've sucked at the minigames, been a hindrance to anyone unfortunate enough to be teamed with me, and likely would've stopped caring about the game itself after the first few turns.

Yesterday I was making my 4th pot of coffee of the day when I realized there was a full glass of wine just sitting on the counter. I had absolutely no idea where the hell it came from - nobody in my house drinks wine. I shrugged and poured that sweet sweet bean juice. It was only when I sat down and took a sip of coffee did I find myself thinking automatically, "this tastes so much better than wine". I only realized then that it had been rose wine, the only kind I've ever been able to tolerate. It was the ultimate moment of possible temptation, and the thought of just chugging that glass - as I may've done in the past - didn't even cross my mind.

I'm so glad to be where I am. I'm about to undergo some serious financial changes - i.e. going absolutely broke - but drinking isn't gonna help that, so I'm cautiously optimistic.

Stay Greater, Flamingos.

[nicolewoo]

All Along

Pairing: Joe Anoa’i X Reader, Roman Reigns X Reader

Warning: Talk of sex and an erection. Lots of cussing

I had been moved up to Smackdown a couple months ago. Becky was super excited to see me. We'd wrestled in Canada together years ago and had become great friends. Becky made it so easy to get to know everyone. She spent most of her time with Seth (I still wasn't used to calling him Colby), which meant that Joe (Roman) and I spent a lot of time together. We bonded almost immediately and were practically inseparable. When we weren't busy, you could always find us together. We were becoming the best of friends. We ate together, we hung out together, we were always hugging, touching and tickling each other. Most of the talent at WWE was physically affectionate, especially Joe who flirted with everyone, so I never thought anything of it.

When Smackdown ended up in Tampa for the Thanksgiving break, the four of us decided to host Thanksgiving at Joe's house for anyone who wasn't going home. That was about 25 people. Joe invited Colby, Becky and I to stay at his house. I offered to cook the meal, but since I was the only one who knew how to make Thanksgiving dinner, I was going to end up doing all the work. Joe decided that I deserve to relax and ordered dinner from a restaurant.

Everyone had a great time, laughing and joking. It warmed my heart to be able to host people who had nowhere to go for the holiday. Joe commented on it too. “We did good.” He said as he wrapped an arm around my waist and I nodded in agreement. Even though we ate at 4, guests stayed long into the night. Once the guests left, we began cleaning up the kitchen. I was putting the last of the dishes in the dishwasher, while the four of us talked.

Joe was on other side of kitchen, leaning over an butcher-block island nursing a scotch he'd poured a while ago. Colby and Becky sat on kitchen stools picking at he turkey leftovers before we put them away. Joe was telling the most embarrassing Colby stories he could think of, so Becky and I could hear.

“So we're sneaking into the arena late, because this dingbat had to order his double fluffy chai, soy, whatever coffee. We were trying not to get caught. All of a sudden, we turn the corner and Colby sees Vince. He freaks out and spills his fancy coffee drink all down my back.”

“Wait Wait Wait!” Colby stopped him. You can't blame that on me.” He turned to Becky and said, “There was a cat that darted out in front of me.”

“Yeah right! Nobody else saw a cat.” Roman said as he sipped his drink. “You were just scared of Vince.”

Colby protested, “I was not!”

“Either way,” Joe continued, “So now, I'm supposed to go in the ring to do this promo, but it flat out looks like I shit myself.”

At that, Becky broke into laughter and backhanded Colby in the stomach. “No!”

Colby joined in, “Dean just about fell over laughing. He's pointing at Joe's pants and saying it 'looks like you pooped yourself' over and over again.”

Joe chuckled, “Hey, that ended up working out in our favor. Vince got so concerned about finding me clean clothes, he never realized we were late.”

“You're kidding.” I chimed in.

“Nope.” Said Colby. “We got off lucky.” He emptied his glass of wine. “I'm going to go get another glass. Does anyone want anything?”

“I'll go with you,” Becky said.

That left just Joe and I in the kitchen. He looked at me for a minute still smiling from the story he'd just told. Then there was a dead moment in the conversation.

“I don't know how to start this dishwasher.” I said.

“I'll get it.” He came over and hit a few buttons and the woosh of the machine began. Joe turned around and leaned against the counter next to me. He put his arm around my waist and I leaned my head onto his shoulder.

“This was a fantastic idea. I think everyone had a great time.” He said softly to me.

“Yeah,” I agreed.

“Thanks for helping me host it. I couldn't have done it without you.” As a thank you, he pressed a kiss onto the top of my head.

I picked my head back up and looked at him. “Oh, you could have done it yourself.” I assured him.

He smiled big, turned to me and placed his hand on my cheek. “It wouldn't have been the same without you.” He paused for a second and his voice quieted down to almost a whisper. “I'm really happy you came to Smackdown. I appreciate your friendship so much.” His smile faded, and was replaced with an expression I'd never seen from him. Tentatively, he grazed his thumb over my cheek and brushed my lips with it, his eyes watching it trail over my lip.

In that instance, I panicked. Was this what I thought it was? Dare I hope? Joe's friendship meant so much to me, but I couldn't deny the ever growing attraction I had for him. I was trying desperately to figure out what to do when his thumb stopped on my bottom lip and pressed downward so my lips parted. He ran his thumb over my lip again the pad of it now covering the whole lip and leaving a trail of heat behind it.

“Joe,” I started to say, but before I could talk, he leaned in and pressed the most gentle, loving kiss on my lips. It took my breath away. He pulled back and looked at me. When he took a deep breath, I knew the kiss had affected him as much as it did me. I leaned in and kissed him, longer this time. His arms circled around my waist as I ran my hands over his back.

We both pulled away for a second, searching each other's eyes, trying to gauge how the other felt. When Joe leaned in again, it wasn't a soft gentle kiss. It was hot, passionate and full of need. My body blazed at the feel of him against me. I parted my mouth, and he slid his tongue in. He tasted so good.  He moaned as he deepened the kiss more, his right hand going into my hair, his body began pressing me up against the counter. I was overcome by desire, and I pressed harder against him trying to get closer.

We heard Becky's laugh and pulled apart from each other. Joe had a second to look into my eyes before Colby and Becky came in. When they did, he was beside me against the counter as if nothing had happened.

Everything in me was on fire, and I was sure they would notice the tension between Joe and me, but Becks was in the middle of a story when they came in. I looked over at Joe who was still a little breathless. I noticed his hand gently brush his pants to adjust to his semi-hard penis. I smirked at him and he smiled back.

“Guys, I'm beat.” Becky began. “Do you need any more help?” she asked.

Both of us tried to answer at the same time. “No.” he said at the same time I said “We've got this.”

“You two are hanging out together too much. You're starting to think alike,” Colby joked.

“I'm tired too.” Joe added. “I think I'll be right behind you.” He said as they bid us goodnight.

We listened as they walked away. I waited until I was sure they couldn't hear us. “Joe. What....” I started, but he turned to me and held me pressing his forehead to mine. His jaw tensed as he tried to fight his desire.

“I'm sorry. I....” He trailed off.

I placed my hand to his cheek as I pulled back a tiny bit to look into his eyes. I smiled at him warmly. “It's ok.”

“I can't hide my feelings any longer.” He kissed me again. “I'm crazy about you. I have been since the minute I saw you.” He whispered, his lips still on mine.

"Why didn't you tell me?”

“I didn't want to ruin our friendship.” He said lovingly. “What if you hadn't felt the same way?”

“But I do,” I looked up at him. “I have all along.”

That brought the biggest smile to his face, and that made me smile big too. He kissed me again, then wrapped me in a giant bear hug. Joe's hugs always made me feel so safe and so warm. “I'm so happy, baby girl.”

The pet name made me smile bigger. “Sooooooo what now?” I asked.

He was grinning ear to ear. “I don't know, but I really am tired. Maybe we should sleep on it.”

“I'm tired too.” I answered.

“Then why don't we go to bed.... separately, and figure out what the next step is tomorrow after Colby and Becky leave?” He smoothed a hand over my back.

I nodded. “That sounds great.”

Joe kissed me one more time as we paused in front of my bedroom door. “Night baby girl.”

“Goodnight.”

I went to bed with the hugest smile on my face. I couldn't believe all this time Joe liked me. I mean yeah, he flirted with me, but he flirted with everyone. My mind thought back to every hug, every time he held my hand, every time we'd snuggled together watching a movie...... all of the time we'd spent together trying not to let the other know how we felt. Wasted time. And now... now that I know... now that he knows.... He's just a few feet away from me. If I go to his room now, what would happen? What did I want to happen? What would he want to happen?  My brain wouldn't stop churning, no matter how tired my body was.

I slipped out of bed and paced my room for a minute; considering my options. If I did sneak into his room, I'd probably find him asleep. I could just curl up into his arms. Colby and Becky wouldn't have to know I was in there. I could slip back into my room before they saw me.

My body yearned for him, and my heart yearned too. I wanted to feel him beside me. Would I be able to just snuggle with him now that I know how he feels? What would he think if he woke up? Question after question rolled through my head, and I didn't have answers. I knew only one thing. I wanted to be close to him. I needed to be close to him. I slipped out of my bedroom and went to his. I expected to find him sound asleep snoring, but instead, the second I opened the door, he shot up in bed. He'd been awake too.

“Come here.” He said and pulled the covers back. I snuggled into his arms.

“I couldn't sleep. I wanted to be near you so bad.”

He smoothed his hand down my back. “Me too. I wasn't sure if I should go to you or not. I'm glad you came here.” He pressed a kiss to my forehead. “Let's go to sleep.” I could feel his body relax in a matter of seconds and soon after, I heard a slight snore. I snuggled closer and fell asleep on his shoulder.

————————————————————————

A knock on the door woke us. I opened my eyes adjusting to being in Joe's bed. He smiled at me. “Lay flat.” He whispered with a giggle on his lips. He threw the covers over me and bunched them up a bit to hide me. Then he stuck a pillow over my head, causing us both to giggle more.

“Yeah,” Joe called out to the person at the door.

“Hey,” It was Colby. “Have you see Y/N? She's not in her room.” he asked peaking his head in the door. “Becks and I wanted to let her use the bathroom before we showered.”

“Nah, man. Maybe she went for a walk or something.” Joe said smoothing his hand over his face. I did my best to lay perfectly still.

Colby obviously didn't think there was any chance I was with Joe, and he didn't look for me me in the darkened room, so he didn't notice the lump in Joe's bed.

“She can use my bathroom if she needs it.” Joe replied. “Go ahead and shower.”

“Thanks man.” Colby quickly exited.

Once he was gone, I flung the pillow off my face and into Joe's. “What do you think you're doing, baby girl?” He quirked an eyebrow as he laid next to me. We both broke out in laughter; trying to stay quiet. He leaned in for a sweet kiss, a chuckle still on his mouth. “Good morning. How did you sleep?”

I stretched my legs out, “Once I came in here, I slept well. How about you?”

“Exactly the same here.” He smiled and kissed me again. “We should try to sneak you back to your room before Colby and Becks get done with their showers.”

I snuggled closer to Joe's chest. “I don't want to leave this bed. EVER.”

I expected another chuckle, but instead he hooked a finger under my chin and raised my face to look at him. “I don't either. Trust me! but we should.” He kissed the tip of my nose.

He was right. I knew that, but I wasn't going to leave his bed without one last kiss. I looked into his big brown eyes and ran my fingers through his hair as I moved toward him for a kiss. He leaned in and placed a sweet, tender kiss on my lips that quickly turned into something much deeper, much warmer, much more passionate. I ignored the feeling of his growing appendage as it brushed my thigh.

“I gotta stop.” He pulled away breathing heavily. He paused to catch his breath. “Can we have lunch here today? Take some time to talk?” He asked. I agreed, and he got up. Throwing a shirt on, he asked, “What are you going to tell them?” He nodded toward Colby and Becky's room.

I had already thought it out. “If I can get back to my room, I'll get dressed quickly and say I just got back from running errands.”

“So we're going to start lying to our friends?” He quirked an eyebrow and I felt a pang of guilt. My friends knew I hated lying. I detested it.

“Joe,” I got up and wrapped my arms around him. “Just for a few hours until we can talk. After we talk, I've got no trouble telling Colby and Becks about this.”

“Good point.” He placed his forehead to mine. “Meet you here at noon?” I agreed.

He brushed some hair behind my shoulder. “Go get ready, baby girl, before they are out of the shower.” He peeked out the door and confirmed the hallway was empty. I quickly slipped out of his room into mine.

———————————————————————

After working out, coming back to his house and showering, Joe and I finally settled down to eat and talk. There were a few awkward moments as we tried to figure out what to say.

“I... uh... like I said last night, I'm crazy about you. I want to be together with you.” He looked unsure of how to continue.

“What do you mean “together with” me?” It was a fair question. “Are we talking about sex, a relationship or what?”

“No. Not sex.. well, yeah, I want to have sex with you....” He looked down at the floor but peeked up at me. “I mean in time...uh....” He rubbed his hand over the back of his neck “when we're ready, but I want to date you.” He finally said.

That brought a smile to my lips and he perked up a bit, looking less scared. “I want that too.” I agreed.

He reached his hand across the table and held mine. “Do..... do we tell other people?” he asked.

I thought for a second before deciding, “We don't lie.” He smiled again. “Let's just go on like we are, and if someone asks, we tell the truth.”

“Baby, I get asked if we're dating ALLLLL the time.” He smirked at me. “It doesn’t help that I can’t keep my hands off you.”

I thought I saw a hint of a blush cross his face. “Do you want to handle this another way?”

“No. I'm just sayin'. If we do it your way, the whole roster will know by the second match.” He chuckled. “I seriously get asked all the time.”

“Babe, would you say we're best friends?” I asked.

“You know it, sweetheart.” He looked questioningly at me. “Why?”

“Well, if someone asks, and you don't want to talk about our relationship, you can truthfully tell them that we are best friends.” I smiled warmly at him as I ran my thumb over his knuckles.

“Good idea.” He said smiling warmly at me. “We're going to have to tell Colby and Becks though. You know that? After the show tonight?” He asked and I agreed. He got up from his seat and came to my side. “Are you done eating?” He reached for my mostly empty plate.

“Yeah. I'm full.” I answered.

He took both of our plates to the kitchen counter and came back to grab my hand. “Feel like watching a movie?”

“That sounds great.” I answered, standing up and letting him lead me to the couch. We snuggled close as we always did, but this time it felt so much more meaningful. It wasn't unusual for us to kiss each other's hands, cheeks, temples, but this time, I got to kiss his lips... the lips I'd thought of kissing so many times before. Each kiss though started a fire in me that was hard to suppress. In time... when we're ready he'd said earlier, and he was right. We had to wait until we were both ready.... no matter how much my body ached for him.

—————————————————————————

Becky stood with her arms crossed in front of her. She had a puzzled look on her face as she stared first at Joe and then at me. “What happened after we went to bed last night?”

“Nothing.” I answered with a straight face. “Why?”

“Well, for starters, you weren't in your room this morning. Now you told me you were running errands,” she began pacing a bit, tapping her finger on her bottom lip like she was a detective at Scotland Yard about to reveal the murderer in an old movie. “but I know that you would rather have a tooth pulled than to go shopping on Black Friday. Then we get here and you two are acting all weird.” She looked to Colby who shook his head in agreement.

“Weird? How are we acting weird?” Joe asked trying to hide a smirk.

“Normally you two can't keep your hands off each other. You're always hugging or snuggling....”

Colby chimed in. “But today... I don't think I've seen you two touch at all.” He looked back at Becky prodding her to agree.

She confirmed that we hadn’t touched. “Did you two have a fight or something?” Becky asked.

“No. We're good.” I couldn't hold my smile back as much as I wanted.

“OH HOHOHOHO!” Becky proclaimed when she saw my smile. She turned to Colby. “I know what's going on here. They finally fucked.”

Colby's eyes got wide in realization as mine got wide in embarrassment. “FINALLY!” He said.

“No!” Roman nearly yelled. “It's not like that.” He said standing to come to me. He wrapped his arms around me and kissed me sweetly. “No. I just couldn't hide my feelings for her any longer.” He looked deep in my eyes. After a second, Colby's proclamation registered in his head, and he turned to his friend. “What do you mean by 'Finally'?”

“The whole company's been waiting for you two to get your heads out of your asses and admit you like each other.” Colby said nonchalantly as he started digging through his bag for something. “Wait!” He turned his gaze to me. “Were you in Ro's room this morning?” I didn't have to answer, because of the shit eating grin on both Joe and my faces. “Where were you?” He asked me.

“Next to me in bed. I covered her up with pillows.” Joe admitted.

“So, you lied to us?” Colby looked upset and Becky looked flat out mad.

“We weren't ready to tell you guys, because we hadn't had time to talk about it.” Roman tried to calm them.

“You didn't have time?” Becks asked. “How about the hours you guys spent in bed together?”

“Becks... listen... nothing happened. We both fell asleep about 5 minutes after I climbed into his bed. We decided at lunch today that we wanted to be together and that we weren't going to hide anything.”

“And we decided to tell you guys tonight after the show.” Joe added. I nodded in agreement.

“Ok. Ok. Let's back this story up. What exactly happened last night?” Colby said, and Joe told him the story.

“Man, when you went to get more wine at the end of the night, I was thanking Y/N for her help, and telling her how much I appreciate her friendship.” He ran his hand over the back of his neck. “And I just couldn't stop myself. I kissed her.” 

“Then you guys came back and said you were going to bed.” I continued the story. “We decided to go back to our own beds, but I couldn't sleep knowing Joe was so close, so I threw caution to the wind and went to snuggle with him, and we fell asleep.”

“So this morning when I came knocking?” Colby asked.

“Dude, we didn't even know what we were doing. We had kissed a few times and snuggled. That's it.”

Becky's stern face stared at me for a minute before she walked up to me. I half wondered if she was going to hit me, but instead, she wrapped her arm around my neck and pulled me into a giant hug. “I'm so happy for you.” She reached her hand out to grab Joe's hand. Colby came over to congratulate Joe, and we all ended up hugging.

Check out part 2 here!

[citycfangels]

text: charlie ⇄ raquel

Charlie: [http://68.media.tumblr.com/7dbebb4db2fe718f37b048eca14ded61/tumblr_onquqxCphs1va2efko1_500.jpg]

Charlie: here you have a post-work out good morning pic. you're welcome

Raquel: so really I get pictures just because now?

Raquel: is that your way of saying you miss me?

Charlie: i thought you'd appreciate seeing my abs after a work out session first thing in the morning

Raquel: I do appreciate it. It's like a really nice wake up call.

Raquel: Now you just have me thinking about you and post workout mode. Taking a long shower, water dripping off your muscles, you walking around in just a towel. You sending that picture was just an evil plan to get me to think about you.

Charlie: i'm an evil mastermind who wants to get you hot and bothered all the time. you caught me, babe

Charlie: how are you, besides awake and slightly horny?

Raquel: how had I not picked up on that sooner?

Raquel: I'm good. Great actually. Without you in bed with me I actually get some sleep 😜

Charlie: ooooh, it seems not having me in bed is almost as good as having me in there. nice to know you're well rested

Raquel: almost being the most important part of that sentence. I would have preferred to sleep next to you but maybe I'm just giving you enough time to miss me.

Charlie: and you needed some time to sleep and rest, and what kind of man would i be if i didn't let you rest?

Raquel: hmm technically still a good one. Especially with the ways you keep me awake.

Charlie: you have a point. if the sex wasn't that good, that's when i'd be a bad man.

Raquel: then in that case you're the best man I've ever met.

Charlie: you're good at boosting my ego in the morning, babe

Charlie: thanks, btw.

Raquel: well isn't that supposed to be a thing a girlfriend does? You know ego boost, emotional support, mind numbing orgasms. You know just to name a few.

Charlie: oh yes, that's a very girlfriend thing to do. cheerleading is also one of those too

Charlie: what are you doing now?

Raquel: and that's where you got an expert in cheerleading.

Raquel: besides texting you, I'm texting Casey because we're thinking of going out tonight. I'm still giving you time to miss me and time to be alone.

Charlie: my own personal cheerleader.

Charlie: oh good, go out with me. i have to work tonight anyways, but i think it'll be you the one missing me.

Charlie: i think you saw this question coming, but are you barely dressed by any chance?

Raquel: yup ready to bend, cheer and wear the skimpiest of outfits all for your benefit.

Raquel: me miss you? No chance.

Raquel: hmmm maybe.

Charlie: now you have to wear an uniform for me someday just because you said that

Charlie: no? well, i'm offended

Charlie: that's your answer? because my imagination is running wild right now

Raquel: You get me the uniform and I'll do whatever you want. I can show you just how flexible I really can be.

Raquel: Nope. I won't miss you at all.

Raquel: well

Raquel: [ http://68.media.tumblr.com/95bd42cd527dc67bb26bb91c59b300a1/tumblr_nur5ygPw5Z1upy1qao1_500.jpg ]

Raquel: just to stop your imagination from going too wild. Too bad you can't come over because you'd distract me from getting ready to go out.

Charlie: got it. i'm not sure where to get one for kinky purposes, but i'll figure it out. i hope they sell any at the sex shop

Charlie: boo you

Charlie: have i told you today how fucking hot you are, babe? because you look so fuckable in that pic

Charlie: i guess i have my hand to take care of myself today, but we'll make up for it tomorrow

Raquel: it really is too bad that I don't have my old one. They probably have on online or something. Unless you specifically want to wait for halloween then you'd have plenty to choose from.

Raquel: you hadn't said it but it is sort of implied. I don't think you'd be with me if I didn't at least try to be as hot as you are.

Raquel: oh so you just automatically think you get to claim me for tomorrow?

Charlie: i don't think i want to wait until halloween so i'll look for it

Charlie: being hot is a plus, but i'd be with you if you weren't

Charlie: do you have any plans for tomorrow? i had to try

Raquel: someone's impatient. You only would have had to wait four months. It's not like I'm going anywhere.

Raquel: so even if I let myself go you'd still be with me?

Raquel: I might have dinner plans with someone I don't want to have dinner plans with. Do you want to come over tomorrow during the day?

Charlie: four months to see you in a cheerleader uniform are four months. of course i'm impatient

Charlie: yes, i would.

Charlie: sure, i could use a different place to be. who are you having dinner with?

Raquel: fine then I can probably find one in a couple of days

Raquel: part of me is tempted to let myself go just to see if you would but then again that would be pointless.

Raquel: no one important.

Charlie: good

Charlie: i would still be with you, although you're perfect the way you are

Charlie: okay, you don't have to tell me if you don't want to

Raquel: it's thank to all the kale I eat lol 😜

Raquel: I'd just rather not think about it until tomorrow night. Just spend the day with me.

Charlie: i thought you hated kale

Charlie: okay, babe. we'll do whatever you want to make you not think about it. i can be there in the morning or whenever you want

Raquel: that doesn't mean you aren't supposed to have it.

Raquel: well chances are I'll be hungover so unless you want to end up with hungover me all night I think the morning is your best bet.

Charlie: still, it's gross babe. i don't know how that can be healthy

Charlie: then i'll bring you something for breakfast to help you, just tell me what you want. and then a bath or whatever you want to do after breakfast

Raquel: https://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-4408/Top-10-Health-Benefits-of-Eating-Kale.html

Raquel: see it's good for you. You aren't supposed to eat it like in a salad. You can have it in like a smoothie or something. You won't even taste it.

Raquel: you are literally the best boyfriend ever. Where did they make you because you are like way too perfect.

Charlie: eh, i'll think about it. i'm not too much into these diets, but i'll give it a shot at some point

Charlie: in the backseat of a car in a rainy night, babe

Raquel: you can always have some of mine.

Raquel: well shoutout to your parents for knowing how to take advantage of mood setting.

Raquel: and you know the whole raising you to be the man you are now thing.

Charlie: all i know is that they were lost in a roadtrip and they couldn't wait to get into a motel room to fuck, so

Charlie: i hope you get to tell them that someday

Raquel: sort of sounds like something we'd do. You know if we ever took a road trip.

Raquel: you want me to meet your parents?

Charlie: yeah, i can see it happening. sex in the backseat of a car and then in a motel room. so fucking nice

Charlie: not now, but if you ever want to go to canada like you've told me i guess you'll end up meeting them

Charlie: you know, when things are more serious.

Raquel: jacuzzi sex. Putting up do not disturb signs and ordering room service.

Raquel: I do want to go to Canada. I want to see where you grew up.

Raquel: I'd go anywhere with you and if that means I get to thank the people who gave me the man I am crazy about then yes. I'll go whenever things get more serious.

Charlie: i've never had jacuzzi sex, so it'd be the first time for me

Charlie: okay. we can't go now, but we'll go there someday, i promise.

Charlie: you know that things getting more serious would mean making this official, right? once you break things off with Nathan and shit

Raquel: you and me both but it has been on my bucketlist.

Raquel: then that definitely means I need to have my passport in order.

Charlie: it's a nice thing to have in our bucketlist

Charlie: you should get it in order, just in case we make that trip soon

Raquel: oh there are plenty of other things like it on that list.

Raquel: well with expediting a passport it only takes a month. Unless you're planning on getting really serious really fast.

Charlie: what's on your list? i'm curious

Charlie: nah, not that soon, but it's good to have it in order

Raquel: mile high club, on a beach but not in the sand more like on those bed hammocks they have in like cabo or something. There are more but those are just to get started.

Raquel: you're right. I'm just surprised I hadn't gotten my passport sooner.

Raquel: then again I didn't really have a reason to travel outside of the us before.

Charlie: you want to fuck in a plane? we'll fuck in a plane then. and those hammocks seems good places to have sex in

Charlie: now you have a good reason

Raquel: who doesn't want to have sex on a plane? Well except for like southwest planes where its like being trapped in a tiny linen closet.

Raquel: yeah, and honestly there isn't anyone else I'd want to travel with.

Charlie: i never thought of it until now, but that sounds hot and exciting

Raquel: really? Never? Not even when you had like a hot flight attendant on your plane?

Charlie: not really. i didn't pay a lot of attention to them when i flew here. they weren't that hot, tbh

Raquel: that's a little disappointing. You got like the wrong first impression of what the u.s should be like.

Raquel: we never really talked about it hut why did you come to the states, not that there's any complaints from me.

Charlie: yeah, i was disappointed in that plane. i was hoping they had long legs to stare at whenever they walked by

Charlie: the beach, the weather and more possibilities of working at something that doesn't require wearing at least three layers of clothes everyday

Raquel: damn you whatever airline for crushing my baby's dreams. But if I'm going to be looking at a girl legs isn't what I would be looking at.

Raquel: well thank you for wanting to escape colder weather. If not we wouldn't have met.

Charlie: hey, legs are a good physical quality to look at on a girl. legs and ass, particularly. you can't blame me.

Charlie: at least that makes bartending easier, don't you think?

Raquel: and if I were looking for a girl I'd probably look for chest more than ass.

Raquel: it does a bit. Or at least you know people aren't just drinking to stay warm.

Charlie: two more amazing qualities to look at, but you have to start somewhere, right?

Charlie: well, that could be happening if i was working in a coffee shop, but being a bartender is cooler, i think

Charlie: plus i don't want too many people benefiting from my coffee.

Raquel: i guess you do have a point that you should start from the bottom up, and lucky for you I have all three.

Raquel: no, coffee is only for me. No one else can know I have my personal barista

Charlie: you have three very good attributes and i'm so lucky i can see them very often

Charlie: i meant that, silly. i'm not making coffee for anyone else, so you're a lucky one

Raquel: just not tonight. If I drunk text you you should know that I dont mean like much of it.

Raquel: no take backs and it's forever so too bad.

Charlie: i'll keep that in mind. i'd like to see the drunk raquel in you though

Charlie: i won't take it back, you'll be the only one to taste my coffee

Raquel: you've seen me drunk before. Well maybe tipsy.

Raquel: 😘

Charlie: you were the cute drunk at that new year's eve party, i kinda loved it

Raquel: but I thought you didn't do clingy?

Charlie: depends on the person.

Charlie: i wouldn't do clingy with candice bc it was just sex, but with you? it's not only sex. i don't really mind it bc clingy isn't the only thing that describes you and i really like you

Raquel: I really like you too.

Raquel: (an hour later) they keep playing crying in the club and i don't get it because no one is crying in the club. Well maybe in the bathroom but does the dj see something I don't? I'm confused.

Charlie: :)

Charlie: they should have chosen another song. there are better ones anyways

Raquel: or

Raquel: or

Raquel: he is like one of those alien people who can see things regular humans can't and he sees people crying. He does seem like a nice dj so maybe he is like here is this song to cheer you up.

Raquel: hopefully he isnt like the aliens in signs. But it's not like there is a lot of water around here anyways.

Charlie: aliens?

Charlie: okay, how drunk are you?

Raquel: yes aliens

Raquel: they're real. Like so real

Raquel: I dont know how to answer that

Charlie: how real do you think they are? would you like to meet any?

Raquel: they're so real!

Raquel: babe, listen.

Raquel: like we can't be the only people in the universe. Like we just cant so the only answer is aliens. Thats the only way.

Raquel: if theyre nice then sure but if they like want to take o we the world and like listen to donald trump or something then no.

Charlie: okay, you may have a point. they can be out there in the universe, it makes sense

Charlie: maybe they're nice to us and they can take donald trump. that would be nice

Raquel: then they would be true mvps and we wouldnt be mad at them for taking all of our water for their spaceships.

Raquel instagram post: https://78.media.tumblr.com/7e58412d60dbd342aad477a015ac0bf0/tumblr_oriui9KiIT1w7ltgxo1_500.jpg Quellersmal #ootd just because it took Casey forever to get ready #latergram

Charlie: whoa there, all of it?

Raquel: yup. All of it.no more water for us. Only tequila shots.

Charlie: but what about the plants? wouldn't they die?

Raquel: babe. I just said we would have no more water and only tequila and you are worried about the plans? Worry about me. What am I going to do? I would be hungover forever.

Raquel: the plants can get rain water but me? I cant.

Charlie: of course i'm worried about you, but the plants deserve water too.

Charlie: well, i hope they leave a bit of water for us at least

Raquel: okay true I shouldn't be thinking just about myself.

Raquel: maybe if we ask them nicely. They'd already be doing us a huge favor by taking a demon away from us so we probably shouldn't push it

Charlie: tru

Charlie: how's your night going? are you having fun?

Raquel: so mch fun so much drinks.

Raquel: and casey smels like marshamlws

Raquel: maybe nit marshmellows but somethmg sweet and its like i want to eat her.

Raquel: and i have like fice new friends

Charlie: i wish i was there, babe. i bet it's better than working

Charlie: does she? i bet she does

Charlie: that's good, babe. remind them you're taken tho

Raquel: maybe we shoud go there

Raquel: butt then i still wouldnt be able to liss you be ause youre not ssupposed to make out with your bartender or at least thats what people tell me

Raquel: mhmm I told them that at one poknt i has 2 bfs but now i only really have one and that i love him even if i just lied and just said like really like but really he should know that i mean love.

Charlie: ... how drunk are you?

Raquel: im not drink

Raquel: dunk

Raquel: denk

Raquel: okay i am

Charlie: okay

Charlie: shit, i have to go. break is over and i have to go back to work

Charlie: i will see you tomorrow at your place. i'll bring breakfast with me, babe

Raquel: :(

Raquel: kay bye

Raquel: 😘😘😍💋💋💋💋