#we'll see!!!! rn he's too young. a Baby

[uh-oh-its-bird]

There are so many naruto time travel fics out there but what I need SPECIFICALLY is an ANBU era team of Kakashi, Tenzo, Itachi, and Shisui getting flung into the founders era.

Like. Ok just looking from the political side of it that's;

A) 2 very young and VERY powerful Uchiha's (one of which is the future clan head!! Politics!!)

B) A very fucked up baby mokuton user who's still in the middle of being deprogrammed and can totally pass for Senju

C) The free wild card that is Hatake clan lore on top of having a stolen sharingan. On top of *that* him being the team leader of a team of kids who, in the time period context, should both be at eachothers throats and probably not be expected to obey the commands of someone not only from another clan but a way smaller one

Theres SO much potential there!! So many political implications in virtually ALL of the directions!!!!

Yk what as I'm typing this out I'm having ✨️ideas✨️ so let's make some story points to sort those out:

• I think itd be neat to have this happen like. A year? Ish? Before the massacre? So age wise, and full disclaimer I'm referencing Google and Wikipedia rn so I could totally be wrong, I think that's :

Kakashi (18)

Tenzo (17)

Itachi (12)

Shisui (15)

Could be wrong about the ages but honestly it's my world you're just living in it, so.

Then me going totally purely off of my own headcannons, were going to say they came in a about a year before Izuna died and place the founders ages as:

Madara (23)

Hashirama (23)

Izuna (19)

Tobirama (18)

Big fan of Tobirama being the youngest between the 4 but projecting the aura of someone as old as like. Idk, however old Madara is. Very funny to me, 10/10

• I'm personally a big fan of dogteeth kakashi so we're running with that all the way home. Also a huge fan of the "Hatake's are a distant, more feral cousin of Inuzuka clan" hc along with some sprinklings of "back in the day they had a bit of a Reputation(tm) for being a 'lill wild, and everyone generally tries to avoid them. Which isn't too much of a problem because theyre a very small out of the way clan from Iron, they just have a big reputation in contrast to their size.

In more modern times tho, along with (obviously) having dwindled down to a single depressed teenager, they've become a lot tamer over the years due to village life. Kakashi is a Hatake, 100%, but he is NOT up to the standards of this time. Which becomes a bit funny when people see him, go "oh FUCK it's a Hatake" and then start edging slowly towards the door like he's about to rip their throat out with his teeth. Meanwhile he's standing there like 🧍‍♂️"am I that ugly."

Give me a scene where, finally used to this reaction to him from the general shinobi population, the team starts to use it to their advantage.

"Give us the scroll or we'll let the Hatake off the leash to have his fun with you. He's been awfully hungry latley you know, hasn't had fresh meat in days"

Kakashi, feeling kind of stupid, gave his best growl.

It caused an almost immediate, embaressed flush to rise to his face, but he didn't let up. It sounded more like an almost pathetic puppy growl than anything to his ears, but apparently it was enough to convince the trembling enemy nin because he slowly lifted the scroll up in offering.

Wow. Now he couldn't tell if he was embaressed for himself or for this guy.

Probably both to be honest.

• So like. Itachi is the clan heir. That's big. That's important. Let's do something with that.

First off, I had a great time reading this one fic (tho I don't even remember what the fic itself was about now, oops) where a plot point of it was how Sasuke is just a walking stereotype of main house Uchiha. Like people look at him and they don't just go "oh that's an Uchiha." They go "oh fuck that's an UCHIHA Uchiha." He's so fucking painfully, obviously related to the very tippy top of the clan that anyone not blind can tell. It's in the way he looks, it's in the way he talks and treats those around him, it's in the way he fucking holds himself. You look at him and every other stereotype about the Uchiha clan is there in big, bold letters. (On top of that he's also a dead wringer for Izuna, which I'm such a sucker for and desperatley wish people would do more with)

So like let's give that to Itachi here because it's so fun for several reasons.

First off; Sasuke in this is like. Straight up a doppelganger of Izuna, just a few generations apart. They could be twins. Itachi, as I'm sure you are aware, is Sasuke's big brother. So let's take some liberties and say that Itachi could absoloutley pass as a blood sibling to Izuna and Madara.

He is however 12, so we're also going to say that the only people who get to make this connection is anyone who's seen the siblings when they were also at a similar age.

On top of that however he has the 'walking amalgamation of all the stereotypes of the main Uchiha house' so anyone who isn't blind will look at him and assume he's somewhere in the sphere of 'important main house person' tho who really knows how distant the relation may be exactly. No one !! That's who !!!

Second; He's the fucking clan heir!! What the fuck!! This bit would have the most impact after all the messy time travel reveals when things have settled down a bit, so it'll sit in the back pocket for a bit. Save it for some fun shaking up later down the line so we don't run out of all the fun reveals too fast and bore the readers, yk?

When it is brought up tho it'd be fun to maybe have some fucky Itachi and Madara mutual understandings of the way things work.

• So. Madara is like a bit of a scary bed time story to Uchiha children, right? Like. "Ooo make sure you don't get too obsessive or fall too deep into your grief and always stay loyal to the village or you'll end up just like Madara!!"

Something something Uchiha-Village relationships are tense as hell, something something Madara fucking over a lot of the clan with his whole. Everything., Something something scapegoat and old stories, something something 'people have probably been talking a lot more about how "god dammit this all started with Madara" in recent years.'

Now with that in mind let's take a look of what our time travelers think of Madara:

Itachi is a good Konoha soldier. Itachi (as has been very much fucking proven) would rather beat a possible problem before it even exists with a hammer till it dies an ugly bloody death than even RISK it blossoming into a proper problem. Itachi does not like Madara. Itachi personally, quietly thinks they should maybe wait till the village is formed then carefully arrange a little accident for him before he goes off the rails. He, even more quietly, maybe even thinks it would be a kindness. Allow him to be remembered well by the village instead of scorned.

Shisui I think is cautiously optimistic about him. He's the kind of guy who gives the benefit of the doubt, who weighs the options, risk and reward, but includes things like hope and compassion in his calculations. Yes, Madara was a uhh. Thing. That happened. But in every story his big blow up always come from one specific event; Izuna's death. So if they stop that from happening, wouldn't it secure both a better future for them and Madara? The history books never went into detail about Izuna, he doesn't know what he's like, but maybe his involvement in the future, on Konoha's side, could lead to even more profits for them long term. At the end of the day he's not against killing Madara (though to be clear, they are at first operating on trying to avoid all interactions with historical events and return home without touching things) but it'd be nice, to manage to get a happy ending for everyone. Unrealistic maybe, but nice.

Mmmm hear me out actually, maybe Shisui, after interacting with him a bit, finds that Madara reminds him of Itachi too. They definatley both have that "I would do unspeakable things to even dream of my loved just one more time" energy, if you know what I mean

Anyways; Kakashi and Tenzo are both neutral on Madara. Yes, they learned about how he betrayed the village when young just like everyone else, but they weren't getting the bed time stories and "do this and you'll end up just like him" warnings like the Uchiha's. They're possibly leaning into negative but are detached from the situation enough to just go "well he hasn't done it yet and his brother is still alive so he won't any time soon" and be done with it

• Now, on the the total opposite side of the spectrum you have Hashirama and Tobirama. People are brought up in Konoha to fucking IDOLIZE these guys. You can not tell me our team of time travelers wouldn't be at least a little awed to speak with them.

I think Tenzo would be the most wide eyed about Hashirama, both for the baseline "holy shit that's the Shodai Hokage" and also that fun juicy mokuton user imposter syndrome he has going on for him. That guys DNA is inside his body!!! Holy shit wait does that mean if someone did a blood relation test with them he might read as being related to him?? Fuck were gonna pocket that for now but like. Mmmmm potential.

I'd say Itachi is the most hesitant about Tobirama but again, village loyalist, so.

You know what tho maybe Shisui is the most hesitant about him (though still largely positive) he both def grew up looking up to him but can also see the anti-Uchiha policies people inact now with the implications that Tobirama would have approved of it. He doesn't know if he would, but like, he has to wonder.

Kakashi is probably the most normal about them (and also has experience in being close to a hokage (Minato) to know that at the end of the day they are painfully human) Don't get me wrong, he's still in some sort of awe! He might get a little lightheaded at the thought of seeing the God of Shinobi in proper battle, or the possibility to see the famed genius of Tobirama with all the different jutsu's he's invented. You can't tell me Kakashi didn't spend a little extra time reading about him when he was trying to make Chidori. Honestly I'm gonna roll with that and say he had a bit of a phase as a kid where he was a total fan boy. Maybe sprinkle in the good old HalfHatake!Tobirama hc to add some faint daydreams a lonley babykashi had after his father's death, about getting to meet him as family. Like cmon, little genius idolizing and projecting on some big history figure only to find out they're actually related? Can you say potential?

Anyways he did eventually grow out of the phase, probably got unattached to it all and lost interest after the whole "losing everything he loved" bit of his life. And at the end of the day, he doesn't have any real complex personal hang ups on the founders like the others do. Thus, most normal.

• And then my favorite most special boy, Izuna !! He's for sure the one they're all most neutral about. He's not actually taught about in the academy? There's probably some throw away line about him in some history books somewhere, but he died young and was quickly buried by the looming shadow of Konoha. The only real knowledge had about him in modern times is just a vague "Yeah he got killed by Tobirama which lead to peace being made but also lead to Madara losing his shit"

Poor Izuna he's the linchpin for it all but was left an unremarkable footnote of history. My boy deserves so much better

Tenzo doesn't actually even know who he is, that boy got bare minimum education under Danzo and Izuna was NOT included.

Itachi and Shisui mmmaybe have some small little fun fact here or there buried in stories from the older members of the clans but like. It's gonna amount to just "yeah he had a great katon" and thats about it.

I WILL SAY HOWEVER. Itachi sees him and instantly is that one PTSD dog meme. Sasuke is a BABY but holy shit Izuna looks exactly like he'd expect him to grow up as and it's making him FEEL THINGS. Also he's so bratty little brother coded !! He's an entire 7 years older than Itachi but Ifachi keeps fucking up and trying to big brother him it's embaressing.

And ofc Itachi didn't go into the first meeting thinking he'd see some weird older mirror version of his beloved baby brother who he misses and worries about very very much. So like. There's for sure going to be some conflict there. If their first meeting is a scuffle (which it probably will be) I think Itachi would keep hesitating to attack. On full run away mode. Which is probably for the best bc he shouldn't try to fight Izuna anyways honey he's like double your bodyweight and you're strong but you aren't THAT strong.

• Pointing back at both the 'Itachi does not like Madara and has quiet thoughts about how it'd possibly be in everyone's interest to just kill him' and the 'Itachi and Madara quietly bond over being clain head/heir during stressful times (w pressure from the elders especially)

I can see 2 outcomes of a potential bonding conversation with them:

1) They come to understand eachother better.

Madara wants to be on good terms, he looks at this kid and sees one of his brothers eyes and the others quiet determination. He can tell Itachi doesn't like him for some reason, and it's frustrating because he doesn't know why. He wants him to like him. He wants to be able to offer his hand and have it taken. It hurts, to be looked at with such suspicion from a face that has traces of Izuna's.

Meanwhile Itachi . . . Itachi looks at Madara and he sees someone who gets it. Gets it like no one ever has. It scares him. He looks up at this man, this horror story he's been told to fear becoming, and he sees himself. And this realization shakes him. It makes him think, makes him wonder. He's so, so sure of his loyalty to Konoha. More sure than he is of anything else in the world. But . . . But if something happened to Sasuke, if he had to choose—

And maybe it softens something in him too, along with the (honestly healthy) dose of fear. It forms a little crack in his shell, just enough to maybe, maybe let Madara through. Just a hair.

Or 2) we pull one of those "The conversation ends with them agreeing verbally but mentally they're on 2 VERY different notes."

Madara, nodding and looking at Itachi meaningfully: "Yeah it can be hard, but all we can really do is try to make the world a safer place for the ones we love. (To create Konoha, to keep my clan safe. Izuna safe. And now to keep you safe too.)

Itachi, nodding slowly: "Yeah. No matter how hard it is (even though I think I understand you more than anyone else Ive ever met) we have to try to make the world a safer place (by killing you in your sleep once Konoha is formed) for the ones we love (My clan. My village. Sasuke.)"

• Also pointing back at the 'Hatake warring clan era reputation,' the 'Tobirama is half Hatake' and also now pointing at Tobirama's title as the White Demon. Small thing but it'd be neat if there was some small throw away line that the nickname lowkey started in part because of the absoloutley terrifying reputation of the Hatake combined with Tobirama's own Everything(tm) like it just had some influence on how some view him. Give me Uchiha's making dog jokes ab him it'll be funny

• Ok but now the actual plot thoughts. Yeah I know I kept you waiting sorry about that.

So time travel! Probably due to a mission gone wrong. Some ruins or some ancient crumbling scroll that wasn't even supposed to do fucking time travel but was so old and corroded that it somehow managed to transform into a whole other seal by pure bad luck. Or good luck I guess, considering it could have just turned into a nuke.

Our favorite team of disasters are very very alarmed !!! What the fuck !!! Obviously they don't default to thinking time travel, but they immediatley know something is wrong. The landscape has changed, though the big landmarks are still there. The mission was complete anyways with no injuries so they just retreat to Konoha. Only oops !! It's not fucking there!!!

Queue alarm.

Shisui is the first one to suggest time travel because he's quirky like that. And there's a very easy way to confirm this theory.

(Also we're going to say that Konoha's location is a valley a few miles out from the Naka River that borders the Senju / Uchiha territories.)

This is convenient because that verification method involves checking in on where Itachi and Shisui know the old Uchiha compound should rest.

They do it in full stealth mode, the second they saw Konoha was missing Kakashi as team leader decided they'd treat the land as enemy territory. They all agreed ofc, for all they knew this WAS enemy territory now.

And, ofc, yeah!! There's the old Uchiha compound!! Being active!!! There are people there!!!

"What are the odds Fugaku-sama decided to have the clan return to their homeland for ahh, cultural enrichment?" Kakashi asked weakly.

"Time travel." Was the only reply he got from Shisui, whispered reverently as the boy vibrated with excitement on the branch.

Itachi just gave him a look, radiating a level of dissaproving disbelief that no normal 12 year old should be able to make. Kakashi would know, he was that not-normal 12 year old once.

From there they decide a no interference policy. Hands off guys!! They probably debate it tho, like, a good amount. They all have ✨️opinions✨️ except maybe Tenzo who's lowkey still in the middle of trying to learn how to be a person and is following Kakashi's lead 99% of the time. Especially since they're still in mission mode and this is like a super serious discussion and he really does know the least ab the founders overall.

They probably debate the merits of going to Uzushiogakure bc seal help but it's really far and they don't actually have like, just any leverage with them. They already decided not to fuck with the future so it isn't like they can trade secrets and warnings. At least if shit happens here they have some plausible deniability, being, yk, 2 uchiha's and a senju-passing guy with Mokuton. Kakashi's kinda fucked tho in that regard but he isn't going to be doing the party ANY favors with his clan heritage.

Which means it's time to potentially get desperate enough to interact with Tobirama !!! Which will inevitably lead to them bumping into a Uchiha patrol or something!!! I don't know honestly

• Anyways want Hashirama and Tenzo to interact. He has so many issues like holy shit. Let Hashirama give him the hug he deserves. I want him to violently adopt him. New brother acquired!!!

I said before but Tenzo is still reprogramming from ROOT. Let Hashirama impact that! Let him help! They can make flower crowns and photosynthesize together idk

Hashirama would be so happy to have another mokuton user, I think they should be able to sense eachother extra strong and like 'ping' off of eachothers chakra, it'll be fun

▪︎ I'm not thinking toooo hard about power scaling and this is fanfiction so a) don't quote me on this and b) for the love of all that is holy don't take my words as gospel

But for this fic specifically I'm ranking the founders and Team Ro, weakest to strongest (in a clean, fair fight head on w no time to prepare) :

Itachi (he's fucking 12 guys. But also he is like. FRACTIONS under Tenzo and Shisui. If he were 13 I'd let him be above or at the same level but like. He's 12. Cmon.)

Tenzo - Shisui (they're like JUST under the next 2 tho like seconds behind)

Izuna - Tobirama

Kakashi ( by the skin of his fucking teeth and the advantage that is his stupid amount of jutsu's and lack of self preservation)

Madara - Hashirama

And again that's not counting like. The specific situations, time given to prepare, potential dirty tricks they could play (I think the Konoha tricks would play a fraction dirtier than the others, who are slightly more used to big open battles vs the ANBU squad who does all sorts of shit in all sorts of places) plus like. Mental state and team ups.

Tenzo or Shisui couldn't take down Izuna or Tobirama but if they teamed up I'd allow it. Kakashi would get his ass kicked by Hashirama or Madara but he could survive a minutes longer than the others would

Itachi is doing his best

But like

He's 12 guys

I love him and he is terrifyingly competent but he won't win 1 on 1 with anyone unless he has some sort of advantage. Minus Shisui and Tenzo who he does have the advantage of regularly fighting, so.

• I think they do get to go back home in the end. It takes a ton of work tho and they probably do need to get Mito's help with it, Kakashi can show them the seal they got brought here with but it's an ACTUAL one in a trillion miracle it didn't fucking atomize them. So it needs a lot of touch ups

Anyways !!!

I have a little more rattling around in my brain but I'm really tired and also starting to think about other things now so I'm gonna stop here. Might come back and add to it later so stay tuned if you're into that

Full disclaimer I'm not gonna write this. I don't have the proper energy and it'd probably end up being too ambitious of a project if I tried. I'd love to see it happen tho, so like !! Big open invitation to absoloutley anyone who might want to take even a fraction of the ideas I've listed.

@ me if you do tho I wanna see the final product

[ddollfface]

God, I love golden retriever men so much.

*Intensely staring at my fav athlete*

Now, that I have a brainrot~

1. Our lovely Athlete with a nerd darling.

- This would be funny. It is giving black cat × golden retriever. So hard.

- Darling has anemia? She's used to sitting around and reading? Can't walk too long to save her life? He's fucking carrying her everywhere.

- Can you imagine darling bringing a book about his sport (I don't know if you've mentioned what he plays) to the game and reading as they watch him play cuz they don't know crap about sports? He'd be so, "But you're supposed to be watching me." :Insert puppy eyes:

- He's isolating darling? Eh, Darling needs a 4 hour nap after every social gathering anyway.

Ok but-

2. Him with a nerd darling who's a childhood best friend, where darling has a childhood filled with emotional and physical abuse. (I'm finna design a whole ass character to ship him with. If you don't mind, of course.)

- This.

- Don't let me get started on this.

- They would be so power couple coded fr. (Darling knows Athlete is trying to manipulate her. Doesn't care as long as she's getting taken care of.)

- Darling is snarky with a S.

- Darling: "The cheerleader was flirting with you."

Athlete: "I know. :3"

Darling: "Go marry her."

Athlete: "But you're the love of my life. :("

Darling: "Oh, really? I could've sworn it was Cindy instead. Go to her, shoo."

Athlete: "No."

Darling: "Who's bestie are you?"

Athlete: "Yours."

Darling: "Exactly."

- Don't let this fool you, tho. He's def the dominant one in the relationship.

Athlete: "You're my baby :D."

Darling: "Mhmm. Don't say that infront of anyone else."

Athlete: "Why not?"

Darling: "I'll bite your head off, that's why."

(spoiler, he says it in front of everyone and darling does nothing but get shy.)

Darling: "Why would you say that?"

Athlete: "Becuz you're my baby?"

Darling: *cuddles closer to him.* *Whispering* "I'm his baby."

- 💗 anon (if I may) (also, he's my baby now, thank you. I'm keeping him in my head and heart.) (It's so late at night. I just keep thinking about this 😭 and I can't put my thoughts into proper words rn, bear with me on this)

𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐀𝐧𝐝 𝐈

𝗟𝗼𝘃𝗲𝗦𝗶𝗰𝗸!𝗔𝘁𝗵𝗹𝗲𝘁𝗲 𝘅 𝗮𝗳𝗮𝗯!𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗱𝗲𝗿

Trigger Warnings; yandere behaviors, possessive behavior, talk about trauma bonding (both reader and yandere or mentally ill), yandere masking, bad writing, and me rambling (I'm so sorry 💗Nonny lol) If I missed anything, then please let me know ♡ I offically declare you 💗Nonny!! And I don't mind you coming up with your own interpertations of reader and LoveSick!Athlete! Just share 'em! Also, I may or may not have gone on a tiny, just tiny, tangent, so sorry 💗Nonny... Feel free to submit more asks if 'ya want

LoveSick!Athlete can really mold and mend well with most personalities and darlings, this is due to his manipulative personality. A little off-topic, but he really has a hard time understanding who he is because he's always pretending to be what others deem "acceptable". This causes him to have a multitude of identity crises, but when his darling, you, comes into the picture, it makes it easier for him to find himself. He feels like he's the real him whenever he's with you. You just feel so natural, he feels natural, too. It's just right.

And for that reason, I think LoveSick!Athlete would go really well with a childhood!reader, seeing as she's been with him since they were young. And, I'm not too sure if you've read my Yan!Alphabet for him, but I mention LoveSick!Athlete's childhood; let's just say it wasn't the best situation for a kid.

LoveSick!Athlete would feel a special bond with his darling now, seeing as they've been together threw thick and thin. He's trama bounded to you, and you to him. We'll run off the assumption that reader has also had a bad childhood, whether it be an absent parent, abusive sibling/family member/or parent, whatever it is allows you to feel a connection to LoveSick!Athlete, seeing as you have a mutual situation. You both have something to bond over, something that locks you together.

He has a bad home environment, you have a bad home environment. He doesn't feel at home, so you become his home, and he to you.

And I like to run on the assumption that reader is all talk, no bite. And if you've read any of my writing where the reader talks, you'll see that I prefer to write reader as more "real" (to me anyway) because I'm personally not the hugest fan of the "helpless" reader. I like to write a darling who has a mouth, someone who's bratty (but that's 'cause I'm a brat lol).

Anyway, I'm getting off-topic, back to LoveSick!Athlete.

To your idea about a snarky reader, I totally agree. Honestly, LoveSick!Athlete would eat that shit up, no joke. He would love it, as he enjoys the back-and-forth between you two. He loves to press your buttons, wanting to see what sarcastic reply you have ready for him.

The thing is, he knows your just talking shit, never willing to actually do anything. You just run your mouth, and he lets you, but whenever you step outta line, sometimes, he's gotta put you back. Though, you'll never think of it like that. No, no, he's too sweet for that. He's gotta keep that golden retriever vibe going, y'know?

He just swat you on the ass, telling you that you got such a dirty mouth, mamas? I thought you were my little princess, no? Girls with a face like yours shouldn't be speakin' that like-

He'll just move on, as if he didn't just grope your butt, nope, not at all. And you'll be standing there awestruck, face red, and biting your tongue as you try to not overheat in embarrassment!!

It never ceases to entertain him, watching your face widen with surprise whenever he refers to you as his girl, his cute little girlfriend. The way your face heats up when he wraps his strong arm around your waist, putting his cap on your head (a silent sign of possession over you, trying to get the guy in the back to keep his eyes to himself, but you don't need to know that ;)).

In your little monologue, you go over some cheerleader girl (named Cindy??). Though I would agree that chicks (and some dudes) practically flock around LoveSick!Athlete, I would say that he doesn't even pay them any mind, not even entertaining the thought. Don't get me wrong, he'll talk to them, but make it painstakingly clear that he's only got one girl on his mind, you.

Most of the time, the girl will just find it endearing, slapping his shoulder, and telling him that he'd make a great husband or some shit like that. Of course, the chicks joking, making some nice comments to leave the, now awkward, conversation, but LoveSick!Athlete will take it to heart. Now, he's imagining a pretty ring on your finger, something he paid for, he got you. Because he'd be such a good provider for you, don't you know?

Another thought, 'cause I'm on a role, but I'm not sure if I've directly said this or not, but LoveSick!Athlete is a hockey player. I've tried putting strickly hockey photos on all my posts (you should see my Pinterest feed, it's filled with hot guys lolol).

Hockey is an aggressive sport, I would know. I used to ice skate every day for an hour or two. And, trust me, I got to see a lot of hot guys, though I was always too nervous to say anything, that's beside the point.

I can imagine that reader would be the same, intimidated by these testastrone-filled, young men who just wanna get all sweaty and gross. And I prefer to think that reader also doesn't know how to skate, much to LoveSick!Athlete's enjoyment.

Just to torture you, he'll take you to his ice rink, partly wanting to show you off, and also wanting you to rely on him to move around. He won't even let you hold onto the side, nope, all you got is him, babes.

And anyone who's been to a rink before knows that if you're not on the wall, or smack in the middle of the rink, you're in traffic, especially if it's busy. And this means that you gotta go fast, keeping pace with everyone else. And there's always a handful of assholes (usually hockey players) who will purposefully do a hockey stop, flinging a shit tone of ice at newbies.

I imagine that this shit would happen all the time and LoveSick!Athete is enjoying it sm. He gets a rush every time you flinch, clinging onto him tighter, especially when the really fast skaters zoom by you, scaring the crap outta you.

And he won't let you go at your own pace, forcing you to follow his lead. This means you're going far too fast for comfort, leaning on him for support. You're arms wrapped around his bicep, which isn't recommended btw. Your cheek pressed against his arm, holding on for dear life.

You'll snap at him, telling him to shut up and stop enjoying this, you dork. I'm only clinging to 'cause I gotta!

And he'll just take it, giving you a lopsided smirk.

[that-one-weeb-buts-its-the-main]

Could you write Nod nsfw hcs??

MUCH LOVE ❤️ ❤️❤️❤️❤️

Nod NSFW Headcannons

Reader: female

Warnings: not too detailed in nsfw area, I mean it's there and well implied,

Note: GIRLY POPS, DID WE KNOW NOD WAS VOICED BY OUR BELOVED JOSH HUTCHERSON !??! BECAUSE I SURE DID THE FUCK NOT,

Ex. Note: also I almost didn't write this bc when I first watched Epic I was really young and I knew Nod was around my now current age; 18-19 and I was like "hes alot older than me" but then remembered that me and Nod are actually around the same age rn then I remembered alot of characters I crushed on as a kid are like...my age now and now its putting me in a crisis

This man is vanilia with a dash of spice. He enjoys comforting sex

Straight up: sets you down for dinner he attempted to make and burnt a little and candle light and everything.

One-night stands? Nah, he tried once, bro was like "I gotta go" not even a minute into it.

Though he's very vanilla, he enjoys messing around in other places *cough* unground ponds and pools.

He doesn't know why there's something so beautifully and calm about it.

He also really likes the way any light from above comes down to hit your skin.

Moonlight over sunlight 100%

His first time is definitely with you,

Also, you on top of him?

Mind blown,

Turns out he enjoys light neck grabbing; like start with your hands on his chest as you're riding him: they going up to his shoulder and onto his neck, just for you to lay down ontop of him while riding him and run your hands to the back of his head and into his hair.

He's respectable enough to not sneak into your parents' house,

Brings your mom flowers always, especially before he takes you out on a date.

Just to go and bang you in his room after the date.

Let's take a moment to thank ronin for working so much.

Thank you, Ronin.

Well except for that one time.

You know. That one time that he caught you both

It was early on in the relationship, a quickie finished as you had told Nod. Adamantly, you had to go to this family dinner.

And he was all for it, but you both wanted to bang so. Thats what you did

Ronin caught you walking the walk of shame out of Nod's room. Nod trying to convince you to stay or at least let him walk you home as he was still halfway undressed.

"Baby let me just walk you home-" "Nod please. It's okay. I appreciate it but I know you're supposed to go do things today too-" "Oh? With Ronin?" He chuckled, "He can wait- I'll make anyone wait for you-" "Well Ronin doesn't want to wait." Ronin cut in. "Ronin?!" Nod spoke, nerves laced his voice as he was quick to push Y/n behind him, "hey! Ronin, how's your day!" Nod finished putting on his shirt, "Hey- Didn't know you were-" "Good afternoon, Y/n." Y/n looked out behind Nod, the embarrassed expression told it all to Ronin "...good afternoon commander, sir..." "Nod walk her home. We'll have a talk about it after." Nod only agreed with silence and along they went.

For sure got in trouble after by Ronin,

Birds and the bees talk, from Ronin? Nod rather die.

but of course Ronin's gotta be a hard ass and ground him for a week; Nod could care less

"You can't see her for a week," "What!?" Nod argued, following Ronin's walking away form, "T-That's not fair!" "Wanna make it two?" "You know I wanted to make her a gift anyways-"

[ancientgreekyuri]

I was wondering! How does your s/i fit into paper Mario? Is she with Flavio? Do they have history? What's the story there! - Hyperionshipping

Thank you for the question ^.^ I'm still figuring out her #lore but I decided I wanted to pull from a lot of old shoujo / josei tropes because I love to have fun 💕and more than just that I want it to be comedy focused 😭 but they Are already romantically involved during the story!

Rn I decided they are childhood friends (considering a scenario where like "young girl is #rescued by a chivalrous and noble slightly older boy and it's a chance meeting but it colours her perception on romance for life" but a really goofy version of this)

Sometimes I think about her showing up in the post game because I Really enjoy the idea of Flavio being like "Ah if only my lovely girlfriend were here!!' throughout the game and others around him being like "Girlfriend? He has one??" and thinking she's fake and not real. But I also kinda want to put her on Keelhaul Key bc I love that chapter even outside of Flavio related reasons 😭

I also considered u meet her for the first time during the Glitzville chapter bc she's a Rawk Hawk merch collector too. But we'll see! I'm playing thru the remake at a very leisurely pace (just now got to Twilight Town!), so I may change my mind later ^.^

Rn I think of her dynamic with Flavio as being "obnoxiously lovey dovey and overdramatic and being a general nuisance to anyone in the vicinity thru this" and also "Flavio sometimes gets scared she's gonna leave him for some hotshot so he's on his knees like BABY PLEASE!!!!"

[park-jimin-isnt-real]

jay's wip masterlist

main masterlist

NAMJOON:

》》 Edge of Tonight (series) 57% complete

My current on-going mafia au, my first child, my precious baby. If you haven't read it yet, you should 😁 Ideally, I wanna have eot finished by the end of the year, but we'll see what happens.

》》 eot: old scars, future hearts (series) planning

sequel to eot main, coming after all the other eot things are done

》》 Just Take it Easy (one-shot) writing

Joon's second valen-tan story. High school au themed around prom

SEOKJIN:

》》 ruffled feathers (series) planning

swan princess au, that's all I know rn, check out the concept moodboard here

》》 eot: sinners & saints (one-shot) writing

Jin's one-shot eot spin off that was also part of valen-tans. Tells the story of how he met Coffee Girl

YOONGI:

》》 dusk (series) 2% complete

Dusk is going to be a kpop retelling of twilight, yoongi is Edward Cullen, and I am so fucking stoked for this one. This series will start after I finish eot. Check out the concept moodboard here

》》 Ready to Go (one-shot) writing

Yoongi's second valen-tan story. High school au, "opposites attract" sorta theme.

HOBI:

》》 Book Club (series) brainstorming

"Modern au odyssey where it's just a fucked up road trip". Concept moodboard here

JIMIN:

》》 Flying Shadows, Falling Stars (series) brainstorming

Something "Peter Pan" related, check out the concept moodboard here

》》 eot: a love like war (mini-series) planning

Jimin's eot spin-off, exes to lovers. It's actually a companion story to the main story: while that one follows that mc and Namjoon's relationship, this one will follow Jimin's perspective of the same events, as well as his relationships with a different mc (and Tae). I'm still up in the air on if I wanna wait until eot main is done or not before I start posting this one. Important things happen here that affect the main story, but happen off-screen there... Check out the concept moodboard here

》》 Question (one-shot) writing

Jimin's second valen-tan story. Celebrity (but not idol) au, club au, touch of angst but a happy ending.

TAEHYUNG:

》》 War of the Gods (series) planning

Fantasy adventure au, kinda like D&D sorta vibes; demigod!reader; found family tropes; "rage against the shitty authorities that created the horrible situations you're now stuck in". This story originally started out as a shitty fanfic to one of my favorite games when I was a kid, that then grew into its own tale as I grew up, that I'm now slapping a bts paint job onto. Check out the concept moodboard here

》》 If It's Worth It (one-shot) writing

Tae's second valen-tan story. Biker au, "opposites attract" theme.

JUNGKOOK:

》》 in this neighborhood, on these streets (itnots) (feat. Taehyung) (series) planning

Bullet fic, high school/college au (starts in high school, finishes in college), flashback story, coming of age story, teenagers making very teenager-y decisions, young adults learning how to adult, everything is based on taylor swift songs, title subject to change. Taehyung x reader is extremely prevalent throughout almost the entire story, but Jungkook x reader is endgame (will also feature Jimin x reader, Hobi x reader, and Jin x reader, but these are all side flings). See Jungkook's concept moodboard here, Tae's here, and the one for the full story here

》》 champagne confetti/champagne problems (two-parter) brainstorming

idk yet, part one is based around 3D (by jk) and part two is based around champagne problems (by t.swift)

》》 Mixing Fireworks & Gasoline (one-shot) writing

Jungkook's second valen-tan story. Biker au, angst, almost a toxic relationship

OTHER:

》》 eot: monsters (series) planning

I don't wanna say too much about this one bc I dont wanna spoil too much, I want it to be a surprise. It's a midquel to eot main, and you can check out the concept moodboard here

》》 deviltown (mini-series) 29% complete

a bts autumn "over the garden wall"-esque mini-series coming this october

[tododeku-or-bust]

Delighted to hear that you are up to the WIP game! So if you do not mind, care to share us some snippets of the young iliad series(before/after the baby i don't mind which one)?

Gotta be honest, while i REALLY appreciate the interest, I'm kinda burned out of those HCs rn 😭 While I'm still working on the main story, if i haven't said it on here by now i haven't thought of it yet. I need some time to catch up with myself. So instead, i just wrote you a short story of a pre-existing HC and visual that i liked and modified. Hope this suffices 👍🏾 Phi is six in this story.

---

The thunder rumbles in the distance, only a couple seconds before the rain falls down in loud sheets. Achilles stares out the kitchen window, calmed by the soothing sound. They've needed some rain; it's been uncomfortably hot, the air sticky with humidity.

There's another flash of lightning, so bright that it stuns him, followed by a devastating clap of thunder so loud it shakes the house. Uh oh. A scramble of fast feet, followed by a collision into his legs. He gently smiles, lifting a shivering Philia into his arms.

"Still scary?"

Philia whimpers her agreement, gripping his shirt tight as she hides her face. After one bad storm took the power out, they'd been going through a process over thunderstorms, explaining to Philia that she was just fine, that it's just the loud rain that brings the fun puddles and the pretty rainbows that you love.

Achilles wonders if maybe they're approaching it the wrong way. They've told her that she's valid in her fears, that she's safe; they've held her, sang songs, every distraction they could. Nothing seems to work- Philia just clams up in a tense silence and cling. It's a little frustrating; he didn't have these problems as a child, he enjoyed playing in the rain-

He blinks. Maybe...

"You know what I think?" He slyly asks Philia. She lifts her wide green eyes, blinking at him.

"I think the thunder is a giant dragon- and a bully! He thinks he can yell at anyone he wants! We should yell back!"

Philia narrows her eyes in disbelief. Really, Daddy? Achilles doesn't crack.

"I'm serious! Here, let's go put our jackets on. Just trust me, okay?"

Philia dons her bright yellow jacket with its oversized hood and rain boots like armor, a fearful yet trusting expression for her father as they stare out at the storm.

"You ready?" Achilles asks. She jumps back into his arms, steeled for battle. He opens up the door and enters the downpour. The wind isn't blowing too hard and it's still midday, so it's easy enough to see from the porch.

"When the thunder roars, we'll roar back, okay? You have to be ready!"

Just then, the lightning flashes. Philia's grip clenches with fear, but the moment the thunder rumbles, Achilles roars. It's a playful sound, not nearly the volume he is capable of, but it's just enough to stun Philia. He grins at her flabbergasted face.

"Your turn. Use your loudest outside voice."

He puts her down, though she still squeezes her back into his knees. The lightning flashes, and she steels her shoulders, taking a deep, shaky breath. When the thunder begins, Philia shouts, loud and nervous. She seems surprised at herself afterwards.

"I did it, Daddy," she whispers, looking up at Achilles for encouragement.

"Good job! Keep going," he replies, nudging her forward. Philia's expression glows, first from happiness, then determination. She charges out into the rain, waiting. This time she exaggerates her inhale and roars, her body curling forward with effort. She collapses into giggles, stomping her feet with excitement.

Soon she's sprinting around the backyard, splashing in puddles, wielding sticks and 'fighting' the storm while roaring like a madgirl. Achilles watches proudly, only turning when a small knock gets his attention. Patroclus watches Philia play with an amused expression. Behind him, steaming mugs and a plate of sandwiches lay on the island. Achilles beams, opening the door.

"Don't touch me with those wet clothes," Patroclus steps back to avoid the water, brow raised. "Bring her in soon so you both don't get sick. You know this could have gone much worse."

Achilles grimaces. "Yeah, but I'd have brought her back in if she didn't respond well! And now she looks so happy! What fear? It all worked out."

Patroclus only sighs fondly. Then he says something that makes Achilles' face freeze.

"You know this means she's going to want to do this every time, right?"

----

(remember that scene when Simba roars and it sucks, then you hear Mufasa? Yeah that's these two 🤣) Hope everyone reading enjoyed 👍🏾

[kipperlillycopperkettle]

six, sixteen, seventeen, twentynine !

05. what work of yours got more feedback than you expected?

(i did six so i'm doing five instead forgive me anon) poor old sisyphus! the locked tomb fandom is, in my experience, very lovely about commenting on fanfic, which is something i love. <3

15. what wip are you taking into next year with you?

(i did sixteen so i'm doing fifteen) everyone thinks that they're too young to die!!! (i will finish draft one of this fic this year i swear) is carrying over, as is the the hardshine bad endings fic which i am hoping to finish soon, but we'll see. there's also the fic i'm working on rn which should be done soon and is. a surprise for someone :) so i won't tell you what it is sorry. and also many others, but those are the main three i'm focusing on atm.

17. your favorite character to write this year?

of the fics i published, i think mercymorn and augustine in poor old sisyphus are absolutely my favorites to write. they're so fucked up for reals. but i also had a great time writing from gorgug's pov in teenage vow.

29. favorite line/passage you wrote this year?

“your childhood comes crashing down around you and you can hear it shattering like glass.” - give me back my girlhood. “the tragedy of rufus applebottom in this moment is that he clearly thinks this is a fight that is evenly matched.” - baby i didn't say my vows.

send me an ao3 wrapped ask!

[coffeeshib]

One of the tiktok anons here (I’m pretty sure there’s several of us in your inbox lol)

Here’s one that will hopefully lift your spirits! I can’t wait to gush about your work in the zine!!

https://vm (.) tiktok (.) com/ZMdxTE1By/

OH FLUFFY POTATO!!!!! the rush of serotonin i'm having right now

[jaefmin]

Treat you better | N.Jm

Treat you better - Na Jaemin

↳ Pairing: caretaker!Jaeminx fem!reader [sick!reader]

↳ Genre: fluff, angst, fever, humor (if you notice mine😭), friend!au, anxiety, childhood!friends, tattooed!Jaemin sadlkf they don't even kiss-

↳ Synopsis: It's your stupid, ugly and imperfect body that's giving up right before attending an important meeting with your boss. This could give you a promotion, but your body's in a state to just lay in bed all day. Will you be able to get to the meeting?

↳ WC: 2.7k

Header made by: @vantaengelic Go follow my baby rn!!

↳ Pairing: caretaker!Jaeminx fem!reader [sick!reader]

↳ Genre: fluff, angst, fever, humor (if you notice mine😭), friend!au, anxiety, childhood!friends, tattooed!Jaemin sadlkf they don't even kiss-

↳ Synopsis: It's your stupid, ugly and imperfect body that's giving up right before attending an important meeting with your boss. This could give you a promotion, but your body's in a state to just lay in bed all day. Will you be able to get to the meeting?

↳ WC: 2.7k

Ajdjksj- why dId I mAkE tHe syNoPsIs sO cLIcHé

@intokook 🙃🙃

As soon as you're about to pass out from exhaustion, someone knocks at your room's door. Not now. Please. You're barely left with the energy to open your eyes. Your eyelids feel heavy, but soon lift up wide awake when the person enters your room. Those usual creaky sounds of the doors reach your ears only to make you quiver, and, you're blessed with a sight of a pale faced man, hair neatly arranged on his face with a worried expression. Your eyes fall on the man's outfit, a pair of cargos, with a black shirt covering his torso. His facial features seem pleasuring- beautiful orbs with round specs, muscular hands, and beautiful tattoos on them. You immediately recognize the man by his tattoos, and he seems to recognize you too. His appearance disgusts you now that you've realized him. But it's too late to analyze and hate the man in front of you more deeply. Before knowing anything more, you fall asleep.

You feel a hard splash on your face, and in seconds, and you're wide awake. A chill runs down your spine and you begged for the person to have thrown warm water on you. Your eyes witness a standing Jaemin, with a mug of water in his hands. His tattoos attract your eyes towards them, and you can't help but stare at them. "So this is how long it takes to wake you up? I've been shaking you for the past half hour and you are like some big old chimpanzee that doesn't feel anything when an ant's trying to move it." Jaemin baffles. "Hey!" You stammer "Anyways, why are you here?" You ask back. It was oddly strange of Jaemin to be here. "Some man called Jaehyun sent me here. I'm originally taking care of old sick people in an old-age home, but Jaehyun told me about your situation. Trust me, I didn't expect it to be you." Jaemin explained in a high tone. He paused a bit after a comeback again. "And If your condition's hell, then didn't you think of paying the doctor a visit?" His tone seemed like he was sick because of you, and he was criticizing you for even breathing. "That's not how you talk to a sick person." You stood up in your defense "Yeah yeah. 'Sweetie, would you like to visit the doctor? 'Cause I really think we should go there.'" Jaemin mocked you, and you could really see the same young, frustrated Jaemin in him. "You haven't changed at all, have you?"

Jaemin made sure you were seated properly in the car. He drove the seatbelt around you and continued to the driver's seat. He turned on the heater, and asked "So, what's wrong? When did you get your fever?" His tone seemed to have calmed a little bit. "Yesterday night. I had a headache, the night was full of surprises every hour." You replied to him in a voice low pitched. "Don't worry we'll get you all fine. And Jaehyun told me that you had a really important meeting... Or something like that? Would you like to tell me more about it?" Jaemin asked. "Oh yeah, there's a personal meet my boss wants to host with me. I'm pretty sure he wouldn't have exaggerated it, only if it wasn't in Vegas." You ended with a sad tone, knowing that you'll never make it in there. And losing your job... for another season of hunger games until you get the next one. You sighed. "Don't worry sweetheart. I'll take you there." Jaemin boldly let out.

"No need to worry Y/N. You're absolutely fine. It's just a viral. All those bacteria are kinda fighting inside your tummy, and you've gotta let the good one win and then bam! Y/N's all back!" Jaemin exclaimed. "Which one's the good one?" You ask him only to have been receiving a weird reply from him. At first, he stammered a bit, and then let out. "Not like you're gonna go and dance with pom-poms inside your tummy to cheer them up. Do you even know how much Jaehyun exaggerated it?" He immediately changed the subject. He kept on talking, and indistinct sounds entered in your ears as you were in your own world, lost, thinking something. Although a smile did appear on your face upon hearing Jaehyun's name, and how he'd taken care of you. He was the best colleague ever, and you had your own little crush on him.

"J-Jaemin?"

"Yes?"

"I really need to clean up my bedroom. You've witnessed how soiled it is. Would you mind doing that for me?"

"While you will...?"

"...Watch the telly?"

......

"Alright, JUST because you're sick. Keep in mind I don't really be so kind to people like you. I hate those years when you're in your twenties. A big judgmental couch potato stuck to your screen."

"Well, you are in your twenties?" You replied after calculating a bit. "Not for long." Jaemin replied. "A decade passes like this." He snapped his fingers to indicate how the years pass, and you seemed to be fascinated with his answers. You knew the old Jaemin, the one that used to bully you in high school, but this one seems interesting. Feels like he's gotten over the series of unfortunate events that you both went across. His aura was different. The kind that would make you jump into his personality's fathomless ocean, and plunge into it. Somehow, he made you feel like he had changed a bit, but at the same time likewise the old Jaemin. The days you spent together, the fights both of you had, all those memories kept haunting you. You never forgot what he meant to you. "Earth to Y/N?" Jaemin snapped you out of your thoughts and you looked back at the tattooed man. "I'm not going to clean up your room." "What?!?! Why?!?" You stood and stared at the air, thinking what happened to your voice. It got harder, huskier, a sense of cough in it. Before you knew it, you were coughing your lungs out like crazy, and that just made Jaemin panic. He started going around in circles, and you immediately asked him to bring water because you knew he wasn't going to do that on his own. "Alright, shh calm down. Relax. Here's your pill. Have it and take rest." Jaemin shortly laid you on the bed after that. His face was on top of yours, and he was about to get your medicines to you, when you felt it coming. You were about to cough. You were trying your best to control it, but Jaemin wouldn't stop lecturing you on relaxing.

Bam.

"UGH!! GROSS Y/N!!!!!!" Jaemin's face was a masterpiece from down where you were looking from. After a couple- err well a lot of 'ewws', 'ughs', 'you're so damn gross' , 'who would want to even take care of you', he finally calmed down.

"What kind of person coughs on the face of their own caretakers?" Jaemin asked after wiping his face for the tenth time. "Face-cougher." You were all giggly and jolly before hearing that name. "Excuse me?" You said. "What's wrong, Face-cougher?" You did not like the new nickname. "You did not call me that." "Yes I just did, face-cougher." Jaemin replies and you are not staying quiet in this. "Y/N is a face-cougher!! Face-cougher!!" Jaemin started teasing and that's all you were taking.

Another bam.

And it isn't good this time too.

This time, you landed right on Jaemin. He put the couch cushions for his defense, but the anger inside you told you to throw the cushion and throttle him right away. And you decided to do that. Of course, not the whole 'throttling' part. He was quick enough to find another good defense. This one was a vessel, the one he decided to cook pasta for you in, but that never progressed further more than deciding. So, physically preparing yourself, you grabbed the spatula and dashed towards Jeno. A thought tingled inside you and you tried to push it away, but it forced you to look at it.

You're sick, Y/N.

You almost forgot about that. Your body was filled with a wave of energy to fight back. This thought didn't last too long, and not before you're outta the dreamy world and back at Jaemin. You were right above him right now. Jaemin immediately used his defense, the closed side facing towards you. You hit the vessel making a loud noise, and it sort of felt that you were getting your panic attack again. It hadn't been a long time since you knew that your spatula wouldn't last against his vessel and now you didn't even have the time to go and change again. He took the advantage of your a-bit-too-late-realization and pounced over you. "Damn it! Is this how girls are when they're sick?!?! Oh pity those male doctors!!" It was kinda weird to hear these things from a guy's mouth, but you knew what an anti-girl person Jaemin was. It reminded you of your colleague Jungkook, who had the same behavior towards girls. Jaemin's arm slipped over, and he landed right on you. There was a worried expression on his face, to get close to you again, a fear of whether you might 'bam' him or not again. He immediately held you for support, but your body was doing nothing other than feeling weak- no mood to stay strong, so you got pulled away with Jaemin. He landed on ground with his back facing it, and had you in a such a position that his body was pressed against yours. Jaemin's face was centimeters apart from yours, and it reminded you of this days when he used to hold you this close. You both stayed still in the moment, processing what just happened. He waited a while, before he stretched out his hand to cup your face. He stroked your skin with his soft hands, a feeling of shiver running down your spine. "Everything's still the same, Y/N." Jaemin muttered. "I'll be here."

"Alright, have this, you'll be fine within half an hour." Jaemin gave you a huge tablet. "Are you sure?" You asked, nervousness filling you up. "Yes, the doctor's prescribed it.'' After having the medicine, you had a nice sleep while He cleaned up your room, and you woke up around six. "Morning, sleeping beauty." Jaemin's voice was heard across the room. Its like he knew that you were going to wake up right at this moment. Freaky how he does that.

Does he have to get back the flirting mode on? You rub your eyes, and try to get up, but due to the weakness inside, you fall back. Jaemin immediately notices and rushes towards you. "Does the medicine make you feel any better?" He asks, a caring tone occupying his voice. He puts his hand under your waist and tries to get you up, the bridal style. "What are you doing!? Move!" You shove his hand away, a stiffness taking shield over your body. "What? I was helping you get up." You saw the innocence in his voice and calmed down a bit. "It's alright, I can handle that."

He gives you a perplexed look and turns to the soft toy in his hand. "Alright, but I must admit, you have a great soft toy collection." Jaemin faces you again, this time with puppy eyes.

"NO. You're not going anywhere with Dolphie. Keep it back."

He turns towards the shelf while mumbling something to himself.

...

"HEY! I'M NOT A MEANIE!"

Jaemin left the dolphin on the shelf and your eyes were forced to shift their gaze towards the whole room. It was way cleaner than you could ever keep it. Everything was finally clean, not dust-coated as it used to stay. Your study table attracted your attention- looking brand new, as if it were just made yesterday. Jaemin must have some experience of helping old age people with their stuff back at his old house. "Wow. It's... pretty." You complimented his efforts. He smiles to you and lays over your bed. "You have pretty great stuff."

"I liked your journal the best."

You felt like throwing yourself outside the window. Or, it might be great to take him in too so he doesn't go around telling everybody about your crushes. "Literally, Y/N," You weren't prepared for what's next. What's he going to reveal? The time you crushed on your math teacher? Or when you imagined a boy naked? But what came out was way worse than all of the book.

"You had a wet dream with me?"

Oh no. Out of all of it this one was what he asked? The tension on your face rose up, blood rushing up to your cheeks. He looked at you and smirked. "Oh, don't worry sweetheart. I've read all of it." You couldn't handle a second before you smashed a pillow right at him. He took it by surprise, and actually got hit by the pillows. "Do girls hit people when they're shy?"

Crackhead.

A thought rose up in your mind. "Yes. They do. And if you get them too shy they might even stab you." Jaemin mocked a scared look on his face and then went, "Heh. You and your stupid girl jokes." You quickly needed something against him... a secret, maybe. You try to recall something embarrassing that he told you, and it strikes faster than you thought.

"I think you might die."

Jaemin's face was left expressionless, "Oh, all because I read your journal and now you're gonna stab me?"

"Close, but not exact."

Before you could tell him the exact reason why he might die, he pulls out a pink book, and turns out, it's nothing but your journal.

"Y/N-" Before any word could come out of that beautiful mouth of this crackhead, you reach out to grab the book from his hands. It seems like he doesn't even want to try, and you have the book in your hands within a flash.

You keep the book with you, hugging it as tight as possible, so that even if he tries to make a grab at it, he would fail. He lays down on your bed, the body-fit shirt hugging him tight. It seemed like his mood had completely changed. He chuckles, "You're still the same, you know? Nothing has changed." He held out your hand. Was he trying to change the topic?

You try to indulge into the conversation, asking "How? Everything has changed over the last decade."

Jaemin had changed completely, and that fact made you think that he would feel the same towards you. You saw a sense of maturity, more of responsibility in him. Ever since both of you separated, it had been hard to move on, every day and night spent in grief. But as usual, life strung the both of you along with it, and you both followed. You suddenly had flashbacks, that night in the club, the pool party... you immediately shook your head, wanting to forget all of the embarrassing moments of your life.

"Y/N, You know that the meeting's tomorrow, right?" Jaemin's face grew serious. "Do you have any idea how you're going to manage?" There was a tone of worriedness in his words. "C'mon! I almost became your wrestle buddy! I can handle it!! I'll just gulp down some of my medicines, and I'll be okay." Your conditions were streets ahead after you got some sleep. Everything felt finer, specially when you woke up to the perfect sight of the room you never had. You played with Jaemin's fingers and then reached out for his arms. You assured him, "Everything's going to be fine, only if I can control myself for puking on you." Not being able to control yourself, you giggled at Jaemin's widened eyes.

"I'm going to wear plastic on me then." You burst out into fits of laughter, "Like JYP?" Jaemin smiled upon you, "Yes."

After all of this, you were sure the trip would be fun, and you probably won't upload the next season of hunger games.

[punkscowardschampions]

Jimmy & Janis

Jimmy: Your nan in? Janis: what? Jimmy: not a hard question, does she work weekends or what? Janis: stop trying to get with my nan, freak Jimmy: I'm trying to do nowt, our kid is Jimmy: [a picture of Bobby with a lewk on and some kind of gift for Libi because he's asking her out lowkey] Jimmy: so go on, she there or not? Janis: Aw Janis: where's he off to? Janis: I'm looking after Libi, dunno if it's classed as punishment or they just wanted to piss off out for the day that bad Jimmy: Asia's sister's having a 🥳🎂🎁 and he don't wanna go on his own Jimmy: last night were the first I heard Jimmy: so I said I'd ask if he can invite Libi out Janis: relatable Janis: wouldn't wanna face all those 🦷🦷 alone either Janis: I'll show her the 📸 sure she'll be pure buzzing Jimmy: it's alright for you I've gotta piss about and translate 'cause none of them can be bothered to learn how to talk to him Jimmy: not til 🕑 loads of time to put her 👗👠👑 on but he's been ready for ages Janis: I mean, glad they haven't just assumed they can shout really, really loud at him Janis: only cute when she does it, obvs Janis: but that's shit, Asia's gonna think you're hanging about to 👀 her, you know Janis: 👗👠👑 and everything Jimmy: I were 🤞 she wouldn't wanna be there surrounded by kids and that, but they probably are her mental age Jimmy: be a right laugh then, this 😒 Jimmy: 🤞 now I can convince the pair of them to go do something else Janis: they're weird about it Janis: great for the 'gram pretending you're bezzies with your little sisters Jimmy: the rest of the #squad gonna be there then? Janis: not 💀👑 or #2 I doubt Janis: maybe the others though Jimmy: I get it, they'd scare the kids Jimmy: float away if they grab a 🎈 Janis: with their combined BMI, no point pretending they wanna be future mummy bloggers Janis: 🩸🩸 pact it ain't Jimmy: sure Azerbaijan or whatever her name is, is gutted they ain't coming Jimmy: 💔💔💔 Janis: Auntie Mimi Janis: 😏 Jimmy: you got a 👗👠👑  there you can chuck on an' all? Janis: so nice of you to reckon I'm ready to step in to sign backup Jimmy: you know loads of insults, that's all the birthday girl ever has to say to him Janis: she must be unbearable Janis: Asia with less filter, some fucking how Janis: I can come with Jimmy: tah Jimmy: it were doing his head in 💭 what it might be like Janis: understandable Janis: kids are dicks Janis: but if everyone else is going, you don't wanna be the one who don't Jimmy: yeah, he weren't having that Janis: they'll have a good time Janis: providing he ain't 😳 to be seen with her Janis: she's putting on some kind of costume rn Janis: might need to 👍👎 Jimmy: he'll be chuffed Jimmy: if this party had been the other year with his mates from home he'd have put his own 👗👠👑 on Janis: Asia's probably dressed bday girl up in a matching 'fit with her Janis: lovely visual, not weird as fuck Janis: they'll be the most 😎 ones there, deffo Jimmy: I'm wrapping a weird doll with massive 👀 that looks like her on a night out rn Jimmy: [a picture] Janis: ✝️✝️✝️ Janis: gonna tell the hot priest to book that in after me Jimmy: sent a 🎁 list, her mini me, you ever heard of such a pisstake? Jimmy: mate, you're turning 7 Janis: bad enough when adults do it just 'cos they've decided to do the paperwork Janis: that's some bullshit Jimmy: she's such a little twat 🤞 Libi gives her the shit 🎅 treatment Janis: letting her bring her whatever tat she's picking up about the gaff Janis: go ahead, like Jimmy: 😏 Jimmy: brb gonna go dress in all black like those dickheads who work puppets Janis: when are you not all in black though Jimmy: loads Janis: 🏫 don't count Janis: no choice Janis: or whatever the CG uniform is Jimmy: 1. I weren't on about school 2. you know what the uniform is, you've been in Janis: not committed it to memory like Janis: soz Janis: have to 💭 about Pete more, you're right Jimmy: you did 👀 at it enough, dickhead Jimmy: but I get it, my 👀 are up a bit from the apron Jimmy: very PG, you Janis: PC and PG Janis: 💔 Jimmy: good thing I've got you to rein me in at this bollocks party Janis: not a wet blanket Janis: but this party will probably be traumatizing enough so you're welcome anyway Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: she can stay at ours after if she wants, let you piss off and do something that ain't Janis: oh, yeah, cheers Jimmy: no bother Janis: if you ever need, he can come here Jimmy: take you up on that when this Sharon's gone and Ian's hanging about 💔🎻😭 Janis: a new one? Janis: or is xmas Sharon back Jimmy: doing the rounds her Jimmy: be a record Janis: 😱 Janis: buy a hat Jimmy: get another exorcism booked, more like Jimmy: been trying to 🙏 her away Janis: he's a little preoccupied rn Janis: oops, soz, He's Jimmy: bloody typical Janis: shit nan got in early and they're like 🤝 Janis: do anything for her Janis: priorities Jimmy: 💔 she won't do owt for me Jimmy: reckoned I'd made a top first impression Janis: @ her Jimmy: what is it? Janis: @godandmejudgingeverybody Jimmy: 🥇 Janis: she reckons so too Jimmy: I worked that out when we 🤝 Janis: BFFs in the making Jimmy: obvs Janis: 🤢 Jimmy: if she's chucking about incense an' all, I might do Janis: Poor boy Janis: baptism of 🔥 ain't far off Jimmy: still 😱😱 you didn't do that to Lucas' car Jimmy: what did I even bother giving you a lighter for, girl? Janis: 😒 piss off Janis: you didn't see how fucked it was Janis: talk 😱😱 like Freddie got hold of it Jimmy: where's the 📷s? Janis: love keeping evidence on my phone, me Janis: think on Janis: getting us out of detention, not back in Jimmy: weren't gonna tweet 'em, calm yourself down Janis: see for yourself Monday Janis: not like he can afford a replacement or paint job Jimmy: he'll have had it done piss poor Janis: just some emulsion Janis: not for his baby Jimmy: gotta do what you've gotta do Jimmy: we've all nicked out the 🎨 cupboard Janis: 🤓 Jimmy: oh so you don't want today's? alright Jimmy: ❌ Janis: didn't say that Jimmy: in the 🗑 now, Janet Janis: shut up Janis: give it me Jimmy: when I see you Jimmy: can't have you feeling left out about all these 🎁s Jimmy: our kid's been trying to pick half the garden like it ain't winter Janis: so smooth, that one Jimmy: SO 😍💕🤝 the pair of them Janis: it's pretty cute Janis: for now Jimmy: can't wait to see how many Josephs the star of the nativity's got Jimmy: bet her sister and me can't count that high Janis: you calling a 7 year old a slag? 😏 Jimmy: don't sound like me, that Janis: 💭 about someone else then, my bad Jimmy: that sounds like you, we're back on track Janis: now I'm a slag Janis: have been chatting to my nan Jimmy: ain't my fault 💀👑 reckons 💭 is cheating if anyone else does it Janis: the dissonance between that and 1. what she do and more importantly 2. what daddy do Janis: 🤯 Jimmy: dunno what your 🤓🗨 means but she's a hypocrite, yeah Janis: come on Janis: left out cognitive for you Jimmy: 🏆 Jimmy: Bill wanted you to have that Janis: that's why he's my fave Jimmy: alright, I'll leave you to @ him Janis: OR Janis: you could be nice to me and I'll reconsider my ratings Jimmy: invited you to a 🥇 party a bit ago Jimmy: don't get nicer than that, dickhead Janis: **a shit party, possibly the shittest if Asia's had fuck all to do with organizing Janis: but you are bringing me a pity present so 🥉 Jimmy: Oi, it's a masterpiece Jimmy: and I'm having Libi for you when she's 🎂🧁🍭🍬😁 Janis: you aren't offering spoilers Janis: but you did offer that Jimmy: you can have one that I reckoned wouldn't be #goals enough Jimmy: [funny doodles shading the gals and this party etc, we know what I'm saying] Janis: 😂😂😂 Janis: it's 🤓 goals Jimmy: you can frame it, just don't stick in on your story Janis: still know what I'm doing Janis: not been that long Jimmy: THANK GOD Jimmy: teaching you signing is one thing Janis: oi Janis: you don't need to teach me nothing about #goals Jimmy: you do alright Janis: better than any other bitch could Jimmy: that'll be why I picked you Jimmy: not some other lass Janis: don't act like you're regretting it then Jimmy: if I were performing that scene it'd be loads more dramatic Janis: wait for your cue Jimmy: how about you stop reading ahead Janis: 🤪 Jimmy: I said you were doing alright not that I were regretting owt Janis: I don't like the sound of alright Janis: sounds a bit participation 🏆 Jimmy: *🥈 Janis: that means 🥈 as a team Janis: joint effort Jimmy: it means you're 🥈 to my 🥇 Janis: bollocks Jimmy: how is it? Janis: you're no better Janis: we do the same amount Jimmy: UGH fine Janis: you can't be 🥇 on your own Janis: ✊🍆 Jimmy: couldn't be #goals on my own Janis: same thing Jimmy: is it? Janis: with what we're talking about Jimmy: I were giving you my review, not the fans Janis: I know how big your head is Janis: no need to 💬 Jimmy: you can have a 🥇 for how massive yours is an' all Janis: I don't want that one Jimmy: what do you want? Janis: 🥇 review Jimmy: that's what you had before you picked holes in my wording Janis: fine Janis: say it again and I'll 🤐 Jimmy: I'll 🤐 Janis: UGH fine Jimmy: 🙄 ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh Janis: if I wanted to chat to my sister Janis: I'd ask if she was coming Jimmy: and if I wanted my lines corrected I'd @ Bill's 👻 Janis: maybe if I 🔊 'em I'd feel different Jimmy: I'll follow Libi's lead Janis: as long as it's before the shindig Janis: doesn't sound #goalz Jimmy: we'll have to whisper then Jimmy: wouldn't want the birthday girl to hear me calling her a twat Janis: 😏 Janis: not 🥇 guest behaviour Janis: heaven forbid Jimmy: have to have our own party and have it be up to us what's 🥇 guest behaviour Janis: we should Janis: but where Jimmy: we can have it here 🤞 they'll trash the place and Ian'll be so 💔🎻😭 he packs what's left up Janis: alright Janis: but where are you putting the kid Janis: your sister can hang maybe but call me crazy, six is a bit too young Jimmy: with his 👰? Janis: 💡 Janis: we could set that up Janis: my nan works with kids, the non-shit one Libi lives with Janis: he'd be good Jimmy: there you go then Jimmy: ✔👍 Janis: BUT WHAT WILL WE WEAR Jimmy: OMG! Jimmy: 🛍🛍🛍!! Janis: 😍😍😍 Janis: YAAAAAAAASSSSSS Jimmy: what are you actually wearing for this bollocks in a bit though? Jimmy: 🚫💡 me Jimmy: do I go #goals or do her head in? Janis: you don't wanna look like you've made a special effort for her Janis: but I will be there so 🤔 Janis: go hot but more what they 💭 I'm into Jimmy: so dress like a lass? alright Janis: 😒❌ Janis: peak 'you' Janis: twat Jimmy: 😎 I get it Janis: 👏 Janis: there you go Jimmy: tah 😘 Jimmy: would HATE to upstage the birthday girl Janis: I've checked their socials to make sure I do Janis: as you asked Jimmy: should be in the group chat Jimmy: [shows her pisstakey qs he's been sending Asia] Janis: I turned the notifs off Jimmy: they do go on and on Jimmy: I won't 🗨 that'll be why you're 🥈 Janis: they wanna 🗨 to you Janis: not me Jimmy: but I want to talk to you Jimmy: and read what you have to say to them, obvs Janis: okay, fair point Jimmy: you're funny, said that before Janis: I won't  🗨 if it's list worthy Jimmy: alright, I won't tell you Janis: 😔 Jimmy: what? Janis: now I wanna know, obviously Janis: but Jimmy: but? Janis: won't ask won't tell Jimmy: so ask Janis: well you'll probably just say nah now Jimmy: make me sound like more of a dickhead Janis: you're not Janis: you just take the piss Jimmy: I know when to leave it out Janis: okay Janis: so does it? Jimmy: why wouldn't it? Janis: I know I'm great and have a MASSIVE head and everything Janis: but don't crack myself up Janis: 🤣🤣🤣😬 Jimmy: it's my list Jimmy: dunno why that's hard to get your head round Jimmy: you don't get a say what's on it and it don't matter if you agree or not Janis: alright Janis: were just saying why it might not be Jimmy: alright Janis: but is it Jimmy: you heard Jimmy: not gonna have a list of things and just not put something I give you loads of compliments about on it Janis: okay Janis: 😎 Jimmy: 🚭 for a bit 💔🎻 Janis: might have cigars Janis: is a birthday Jimmy: one Asia might've organised Janis: those candy ones Jimmy: 🤞😁🤞 Janis: Bobby will be in his impression element Jimmy: he'd have to take Libi's fav 🖍 out from behind his 👂 Jimmy: not very #goals Janis: goals when she realises Janis: so 😍 Janis: she's done him a picture Janis: tell him to pretend it's good Jimmy: well harsh critic, you Jimmy: dunno if I wanna give you this 🎨 now Jimmy: or tell him owt 'cause he's been trying to get us to go knock on your nan's door for ages Janis: she's 4, and not picasso Janis: that's not mean Janis: we are ready, if he wants to come play first, or go to the park Janis: whatever Jimmy: you've near had my 👂 off, don't make me van Gogh Jimmy: be nice to me Janis: awh Janis: don't be 💙 Janis: come over Jimmy: okay Janis: you don't have to Janis: but she's rabid too Jimmy: I've left, not gonna turn him back round Jimmy: hang on Janis: 👍 Jimmy: [show up so Bobby can adorably ask Libi to come to this party with him like it's a date on the doorstep and Jimothy can give his bae a single 🌹 for the shakespearean romance of it along with this 🎨 which I like to think isn't just a doodle like the rest but a full moment because she really inspired him by getting them out of detention] Janis: [she will be thrilled, love to imagine how iconic the party fit we've assembled is, a whole mishmash of things we love you know the vibe, probably gonna smooch him like what a lovely surprise and this is her romcom now lmao, thank god these kids be distracted 'cos we are likewise overwhelmed af by both these gestures in a way we don't even want babbies to see thank you] Jimmy: [I know that you'd never be able to find a lewk iconic enough for this mvp so I shall imagine it, likewise glad that these children are having their rom com moment because adorable but also because Jimothy would be feeling so awks because we don't normally try with our art and don't think we're good at it, go show Bobby your room gal, kids love doing that and JJ can have a cuppa or something and calm down] Janis: [yeah idk what pinterest rabbit hole I'd have to go down but doubt we'd get the desired effect, I'm thinking some kind of superhero moment on top w a cape, then a tutu, then some snazzy boots, then a crown, you know exactly the moment we're wilding and Asia's sisters are gonna be like oh lmao, probably put Killer in the garden so she doesn't bowl Bobby over immediately but you can go play with her too, just keep looking at this art shamelessly 'cos he's stepped his game up and we are impressed, also finding a way to braid this rose into our hair which again doubt I'll get a photo but it'd be a lewk as well, go sit with your cuppas like the parents you are lol] Jimmy: [yeah they are usually v basic with their children's lewks you'd need instagram or like a celeb who lets their kid dress themselves and even then, might not be the vibe, Asia's sisters can honestly fuck off because we know the older one who's like younger than Cass so in my head probably like 9/10 is an even bigger bitch so, what's important is how buzzing these kids are because haven't seen each other for ages and how 😳 Jimmy is by her reaction to the art and her hair lewk and how shamelessly he'd be checking her out when she was making the tea because we know she's also wearing one] Janis: [like she's 4 hens idk what to tell ya, she does not care for your shade, we're having a time, we all know the gals, whoever be there, will be going for an overly girly look so you'd win by default but we've clearly tried 'cos want to and we know why] Jimmy: [not soz that she's not 7 going on 17 like the bday gal, idk about you but I feel like if Hollie has any siblings they are probably brothers so she has no reason to be there, so realistically none of them might be unless Grace is babysitting instead of working in the clothes shop in which case she might be but it wasn't really about any of you or for your benefit hens, plus that feels like a vibe because Asia probably was thinking she'd flirt with him] Janis: [tea, like she's a hoe so she don't care but she could've gone in if none of them were about so a mood, not soz to stop that awkwardness at all 'what continent is in his class then?'] Jimmy: [lbr Mia would be encouraging her to like she'd been trying to get Grace to when he first arrived so yeah, as for replying to the bae we just 😏 and shrugging as we make up loads of more and more ridiculous names] Janis: [we all know it, like okay ladies it's clearly not going anywhere but pop off embarrassing yourselves trying, just having a moment of doing that back and forth for the lols] Jimmy: [let it go Mia! we all know he'll have choked on his tea at least once because she is funny we weren't wrong] Janis: [we've missed this] Jimmy: [live your best lives kids even if he would keep getting distracted by the hair 🌹] Janis: ['any particular plan of attack or?'] Jimmy: ['you not leaving me on my own 'cause she'll have one for me' we're joking but lowkey where is the lie] Janis: [just a look that is like ew but obviously 'or with her ma' 'cos just imagining her as an older Asia like there's just all the generations here] Jimmy: [the look on his face would be everything because we've not even considered that] Janis: [just like mhmm, doubt you've ever met her mum in a real capacity girl but also doubt you're wrong lol 'dad did one for a reason...I'll protect you'] Jimmy: [snuggling into her like we're trying to hide which is obvs purely for the pisstake and not because we want to] Janis: [snuggling him back but in a really extra way to prove we're also in on the #bants of it all] Jimmy: ['you got a plan?' like is there anything you wanna do to fuck with the gals while we're there, blatantly still in the snugg as we say this] Janis: [thinking, not just to drag this whole experience out but you know, 'are we inviting them to the party?'] Jimmy: [drawing little ?s on her skin while she's thinking without thinking ourselves about how distracting that'd be or why we probably shouldn't rn 'depends'] Janis: [! when he's doing it but then doing it back to the depends] Jimmy: ['are we still their fake mates?' because lbr the temptation always to just tell them all to go fuck themselves and genuinely thinking about how she was gonna behave at this party if Janis wasn't there] Janis: [shrugs 'they're shit mates, we don't have to invite them and we could still use it later to fuck with them' like they'll get over the diss of not being invited so fuck it if we don't wanna] Jimmy: ['alright' boy you make me laugh does that mean you wanna invite them or you don't] Janis: [tickle him a bit like alright what, dickhead] Jimmy: [so fake offended like excuse you I'm not off my tits on Helena's pain meds today but we know he's actually okay because he's obvs ticking her back more than she did to him] Janis: [getting out 'I will kick you' but as a warning not a threat 'cos don't wanna actually injure you here boy] Jimmy: ['no you won't' lowkey sounds like a challenge there boy but we know you're saying she loves you too much 'not shit mates, us'] Janis: [a LOOK 'we're alright' 'cos didn't mean to drag you so much over a word, the feels are confusing and high] Jimmy: [return the LOOK 'and you are' because you're alright too still even though you did drag him 😏] Janis: [between 🤭 and 😳 like okay, I know, shh but we're not mad 'you' like you too bitch] Jimmy: [touch her hair like you've wanted to this entire time 'but this...' like this needs a word you won't drag me for because you've made such good choices gal 'not alright' because at the same time WE ARE AFFECTED AF] Janis: ['do something about it then' which IS a challenge but you know full well these kids are in and out/you have no time but do we care] Jimmy: [is going to pull her hair in that way that's meant to be playful and pisstakey but is saucy as all hell because of course he is] Janis: [trying so hard NOT to react and make a sound that the lip bite you have to do would be indecent Jimmy: [so indecent that he'd have to do his own while we run our thumb over her bottom lip like always] Janis: [kissing that thumb honey] Jimmy: [I hope the kids are busy because we're making a SOUND like it or not] Janis: [be in the bedroom playing happily tah] Jimmy: [you gotta because we're pulling her into our lap to kiss her] Janis: [we will let you have this 'cos you need to] Jimmy: [likewise gotta let him also pull whatever clothes he needs aside so he can do an epic lovebite somewhere where these kids nor the kids at this party can't see the massive bruise because they'd all have faded and that upsets me] Janis: [boo says not on my watch, I also sincerely hope mcvickers have gone somewhere for the day and don't just waltz in now because we are so into it] Jimmy: [soz but we've started something now without him stopping himself so we literally cannot stop, it has been forever since they last did any of this] Janis: [concerned he would never wanna again so we're doing the most rn] Jimmy: [I don't even need to say how into it he is] Janis: [bit rude of us to do this and send you to a kid's party but that's life] Jimmy: [I am that rude bitch] Janis: [if it wasn't rude to Bobby we'd just dump you on 'em but you know, this has dealt with some tension and increased the rest lmao] Jimmy: [you're welcome but also I'm soz (I'm not though) hens] Janis: [gotta stunt on Asia so she can report back] Jimmy: [we shall and it'll be glorious] Jimmy: [I was thinking there should be a person there doing the kids' make up and nails because she's 7 going on 17 and so Bobby should get his painted Libi's fave colour and vice versa] Janis: [that's cute as hell, Libi acting like this makeup lady is a facepaint one like make me this tah] Jimmy: [don't worry gal, jimothy will paint your face for you when we leave this party and it will be bomb because I feel like the makeup woman is like that hairdresser woman in the duchess who wouldn't let her daughter sit in the car] Janis: [Luckily you to lil to be made to feel embarrassed just like hmm you're not very good are you like can't make me a tiger? bit shit hen lmao] Jimmy: [sass everyone gal JJ are here for it and you know they'd also ask her to facepaint them, just coming at her with ideas until she's like please stop] Janis: [this woman trying to paint pink nails and do some sparkly gloss and we're like challenge yourself babes, also gonna scran this party food it better be good fam] Jimmy: [I hope it tastes alright at least even if it looks tacky as hell lol] Janis: [at least you can't not go the sugar route at a kids bday, can't make 'em eat salads n water lol] Jimmy: [imagine everyone dancing please, JJ be dancing, Libi and Bobby, Libi and Jimothy and Janis and Bobby] Janis: [a whole mood, imagine everyone's faces at all times it's so amusing] Jimmy: [I can't wait for when Asia reports all of this back to Mia and she sees all the content everyone is posting] Janis: [when has a boy ever, the idea of even bringing one home horrifies y'all] Jimmy: [not at all soz that he's actually the softest boy ever and loves both of these bubs instead of whatever weird barista stereotype y'all thought] Janis: [they obvs thought he was 😎 stereotype for real like ok gals] Jimmy: [omg just saw on Pinterest these cards like who knows the bday girl best that you fill in and we have to have JJ fill in some for their own lols that they obvs aren't gonna give to this child but] Janis: [that's a must omg] Jimmy: [also there should be like a cupcake decorating station or something like that because the bubs would actually have fun doing that and JJ can be competitive doing theirs] Jimmy: [photobooth goes without saying but one where the photos come out and you can keep them because then we can have so many great mems thank you] Janis: [when we're just ignoring every guest lowkey love it] Jimmy: [obvs if there are kids in your class you fuck with Bobby you can proudly introduce Libi to them, cos let's assume they aren't all dicks] Jimmy: [and lowkey Libi can introduce Bobby because he's been too shy to talk to any of y'all] Janis: [statistically, some of you must be okay lol, also some kids lowkey like the shine of a 'different' kid and like to like help, which is cute even if it's a bit like oh you special, they don't mean it like that] Jimmy: [yeah at that age they are basically just trying to be nice and helpful so it's fine] Janis: [make some friends, Libi is v sociable so this should be fun and not as terrible as you worried, we got you babe] Jimmy: [at least if Libi has got this JJ can have a sec to themselves] Janis: [got to be couple #goals too, I mean we have been but like, keep Asia away] Jimmy: [because that's the ONLY reason honey not that we just wanna] Janis: [mhmm, obvs, not like we got interrupted from going there] Jimmy: [and we obvs think she's gonna just leave after this and go do whatever so we're trying to make the most of this time as if we won't shamelessly invite her in to have her face painted] Janis: [like where does she wanna be, she didn't even wanna beforehand but especially not now lol god bless] Jimmy: [like he probably thinks she wants to go 🐕🏃 for that 💰 but you could literally take these children with you sir] Janis: [like that is what we would do but we also want a life 'cos we've not for these last 3 going on 4 years and it's getting old] Jimmy: [the tea because likewise all he does is work and look after Bobby and Cass so we just wanna live our own life] Janis: [it's both what we want and good news guys you're gonna make it] Jimmy: [gonna be such good parents because you're already doing it now when you're literally 15 and not in a good headspace/situation] Janis: [letting you have fun first, we still gotta look after these kiddos but we're gonna get rid of Ian and Cass will be old enough to help and it'll all be better] Jimmy: [sounds like they are gonna kill Ian which makes me lol] Janis: [lmao, plottwist but no, lowkey what do happen to you Ian lordt] Jimmy: [please feel free to fuck off somewhere else like back up north sir] Janis: [that's a mood, like okay, bye then] Jimmy: [but anyway before we get derailed is there anything else you wanna do at this party or shall we skip?] Janis: [we probably know the vibes, we all had a good time despite the odds and the gals are gonna get the lowdown from Asia] Jimmy: [enjoy the walk back because the kids will be running ahead buzzing off all this sugar and their good time] Janis: [you should take both dogs out as y'all are buzzing, run off their energy too] Jimmy: [good idea because Twix do need to socialise too she's just a baby] Janis: [yeah Killer is a bit older now but she's still v excitable] Jimmy: [just two 🐕 gal pals] Janis: [love stories for all lollollol] Jimmy: [imagine all the artsy pics Jimothy would be getting like a little art hoe] Janis: [we're about it, such a family unit honestly it's wild] Jimmy: [I love it but not the awkward moment when they get back to mcvickers house to take Killer home and he has to be like are you coming to have your face painted or what because fully expecting her to be like nahhh] Janis: [DO YOU WANT YOUR FACE PAINTED BITCH, just seeming like we're like HELL YEAH 'cos we do wanna come] Jimmy: [also we should say mcvickers are back for the lols] Janis: [absolutely, we would've messaged them so they weren't like HELLO but now when we're going back to his it's like SeriousParentTime™] Jimmy: [maybe they won't let Libi sleep over so she's just coming for a bit because then once Bobby crashes they can actually live] Janis: [that makes sense for now, she's probably never had a sleepover outside of the fam because she's that small so go with that] Jimmy: [and lowkey we could potentially palm Bobby off on Cass to put to bed if they wanted to go to the pub or wherever because they are both serving lewks] Janis: [have walked the dog and had 'em all day, c'mon gal lol] Jimmy: [exactly but for now go and do your facepainting sesh because I vote that Bobby is a 🐺 seeing as it's like a dog upgrade and he's feeling himself today and that Jimothy gets the bae to do him as a 💀 for that flatwhite shade] Janis: [ooh, what do you wanna be gals] Janis: [hmm, Libi should ask for a galaxy moment 'cos Star, no pressure, get abstract lmao, maybe a vampire moment for you Janis] Jimmy: [let's not think about how up close and personal facepainting is lads] Janis: [but let's lmao] Jimmy: [please go return the favour of showing Libi your room and then like go on the trampoline or something children] Janis: [live your best lives so we can be here with our face paint on lol] Jimmy: [obvs offering her more tea] Janis: [just gesturing to our face like make it blood but obvs nodding 'cos duh] Jimmy: [he is a big enough nerd to like bring you a glass of water with red food colouring in it while the kettle boils] Janis: [🙄😏 'cos he's funny too hun] Jimmy: [pretends like he's gonna snatch that 🌹 out of her hair and put it in the water but obvs doesn't actually] Janis: [fake #shooketh 'no takebacks'] Jimmy: ['you wanna kill it an' all?' just flirting and sassing nbd] Janis: ['sure, blame me when you picked it' fake tut] Jimmy: [Oi, you inspired me, it is your fault' looks up dramatically to where Bill's ghost would be floating around 'and a bit his'] Janis: [flirty smiles at where Bill is like I don't mind hehe] Jimmy: [throw something at her like we're so fake jealous and fuming] Janis: [throw something back 'he can't help being a romantic'] Jimmy: [going to make that tea like uggggggggh] Janis: don't be jealous Janis: he 💕 you too Jimmy: he's just using me to get to you Jimmy: not as thick as I look Janis: how long were you chatting to asia Janis: sounds just like her Jimmy: if she's the unappreciated genius 🖋🎭 instead of me and my 🎨 FUMING Jimmy: plot twist too far, that Janis: 😂 Janis: think you're safe Janis: much to her 💔 Jimmy: I were a bit ago an' all, tah for that Jimmy: very 💪🏆🥇 you Janis: reckon you could take her in a fight but Janis: yeah Jimmy: not THAT northern, steady on Janis: you'd be doing her a favour Janis: 🦷🦷 Janis: so fuck that Jimmy: exactly Jimmy: if I were bothered about doing other lasses favours I'd open my DMs Janis: you've mentioned Jimmy: you want owt else while I'm here? Janis: all good Janis: tah Jimmy: 👍 Janis: I'm glad he ended up having a good time Janis: and not every kid in his class is a little twat Jimmy: only be 💔🎻😭 when she goes off home Jimmy: how it should be Janis: 😏 such a purist, you Jimmy: a what? Jimmy: sounds well like you're insulting us Janis: maybe Jimmy: bit rude Jimmy: LITERALLY just complimented you Janis: when? Janis: must be AGES ago Jimmy: I get it, you don't know how to tell time either Jimmy: it's alright, we'll work it out together Jimmy: [bring that tea in] Janis: [buzzing like we really need this tea, nothing to do with you] Jimmy: [we're totally also buzzing about this tea and not because she is, yep] Janis: [no one is this excited for a cuppa not even yous or us lol] Jimmy: [I like to think that he goes to kiss her and once again stops himself but this time it's only because of the face paint and we're looking in the direction of upstairs where the children are 'don't fancy having that Q&A' meaning Libi asking what happened if she appears and they have ruined it] Janis: ['she's a right cockblock' and what's meant to be a fake 😒 but we're not not lbr] Jimmy: [we're remembering when we played that game where you had to kiss without touching and reminding her about it like we could change the rules if you're up for that challenge] Janis: [nods 'cos don't trust ourselves to say ANYTHING about this idea] Jimmy: [picture this, he starts out by touching her hair OBVS because he's obsessed but then just gently pulling on her earlobe cos he would've put it in his mouth if he could've then going down her jawline and neck writing kiss or doing an ✔ depending on the surface area we have to play with using our fingertip and varying the amount of pressure depending if it would've been a hard or soft kiss and just doing that for all the skin that's available everywhere] Janis: [shan't because we can't cope and at least we can be obvious about that, these kids are busy and gotta do what we gotta do Jimmy: [gotta do what we've gotta do and we are doing the MOST on this sofa rn even though his entire family + Libi could appear any moment] Janis: [getting on top of you on this sofa even though it's a bad idea for all the above reasons, not to mention the eye contact it demands 'you're rude'] Jimmy: [but it's a good idea for the sound he would make when she did so we're unrepentant over here 'you' well done for getting the word out boy] Janis: [shaking her head and getting the most movement out of that 'you started it'] Jimmy: [pulling her even closer like yeah I did and I'm not soz] Janis: [running our finger across his neck like you should be 'Jimmy...' at least this would be quiet because we're that close but that's the only at least] Jimmy: [touching the lovebite he gave her earlier so deliberately with such intense eye contact like I am simply not though] Janis: ['takes the piss' and pouting 'cos literally vampire facepaint and she hasn't given him one yet] Jimmy: [running his thumb over that lip whilst doing his own pout because we wanna do the pouty lip bite thing SO BAD rn but we can't] Janis: [biting our lip where his thumb just was] Jimmy: [such a frustrated noise as if this wasn't his idea lol] Janis: [finally feeling like we've had a win there so we're smug] Jimmy: [tickling her like how dare you not also be dying here excuse you] Janis: [trying to pin his hands above his head like no no] Jimmy: [he's totally gonna end up pinning you to this sofa gal, just the sauciest playfight of all time happening] Janis: [we know we're breaking and we do not care, fight us Libi] Jimmy: [proud of you for lasting as long as you did tbh] Janis: [truly, have your lovebite and then some boy] Jimmy: [have to let you hook up here without anyone interrupting you or else you will both die] Janis: [have a quickie guys] Jimmy: [can't be dealing with your bad moods if you don't] Janis: [it has been days, which in your timeline is like nearly half of lmao so] Jimmy: [we all know you're extra] Janis: [gonna have to take Libi back soon gal] Jimmy: [everyone's gonna be gutted to be separated but the lads will walk you back because gentlemanly like that] Jimmy: [but for now have your tea that you're gonna have to put in the microwave because you never touched it] Janis: [my boo says HELLO] Jimmy: [also probably take your face paint off because I dread to think the state of it now] Janis: [the black face energy getting real lmao] Jimmy: [if you don't go do this together and mess about while you do by like having a water fight and only removing bits at a time so you look silly etc then I don't wanna know either of you] Janis: [obviously we must, also I think the bubbys paint should be a little smudged 'cos Libi keeps smooching him like my shameless boo] Jimmy: [so cute and I can imagine JJ just giving each other a look like 😏 because relatable] Janis: [gonna age Tess so hard gal] Jimmy: [be looking like her sim] Janis: [poor tess haha] Jimmy: [I really hope you don't actually put her through it as you're growing up hun, we've been through enough] Janis: [we do need to think about that now you exist in gen 4 kinda but like yeah, arguably we could also do bobby in the first part of the gen, ANYWAY THOUGH] Jimmy: [we could totally do some of them next if you want because we know they are gonna stay friends so] Janis: [cuteness and potential] Jimmy: [anyway is there anything else you wanna have happen before Libi goes home or no?] Janis: [we don't have to do it if you don't wanna but important to note you're obvs sleeping over right] Jimmy: [totally because I still think they should go out even if it's just to his local pub but it could also be in town out depending on the mood though I don't know how you're gonna be like DO YOU WANNA when you're yet again on this doorstep or wherever lol] Janis: [for sure, do something purely 'cos you wanna and there's no excuse or distraction] Jimmy: [exactly, because you obviously haven't yet since she got back] Janis: [or lowkey ever? you might've actually, xmas eve yeah nvm] Jimmy: [could be argued that the pub crawl was for content though whereas they literally don't need to do any more today so] Janis: [mhmm, we've slayed today, you could've gone home hun] Jimmy: [exactly and that's why this is so important but for real I don't know how he's gonna be like do you wanna not go in and come back with me yet again so there's that] Janis: [don't worry, you can probably just hook up and then be like may as well stay] Jimmy: [just throw Bobby at Cass when you get back and then you can leave] Janis: [though it might be a conversation™ 'cos she would go to leave if not immediately 'cos bit rude but early in the AM] Jimmy: [mhmm just gotta make himself too vulnerable by being like no no, hope you're at least a bit drunk guys] Janis: [sure you will be honeys, where do we wanna skip to then] Jimmy: [question is do we wanna do any of this night out and see what happens or just skip to the end? hm Janis: [always fun to do a night out, even if we skip around 'cos a lot of we know the vibe I'm sure but we can see peeps, things can happen, without it being drama central] Jimmy: [no drama please, we're trying to have a nice chill time] Janis: [exactly dr phil, and we can, there's been enough heightened emotions for a while and we've really brushed them under the rug tbh] Jimmy: [hence I'm like we should probably do this night out because when you're drunk stuff might come out] Janis: [pop off and let's ride lads] Jimmy: [the question is lads do you wanna go out out so we can really serve these lewks or stay local so you're less likely to see the world and his wife] Janis: [hmmmmm, I say go to town 'cos xmas eve you stayed local to her so go off] Jimmy: [that is true, lets go with that] Janis: [you can try and get in some of the more iconic dublin pubs and show him the sights so] Jimmy: [yeah because he wouldn't have been because he's only been here for like 2 months now and we know he's antisocial] Janis: [and you are but children, plus going out to drink on your own is depressing soz you can do lots of things alone but not that lbr] Jimmy: [literally he has done nothing since he moved here like we said before so I'm glad you have each other now] Janis: [unlikely we've done it before either 'cos age, like but we'll know where to go] Jimmy: [I vote you have to only order drinks that cliché tourists would] Janis: [really annoying cocktails they hate making etc] Jimmy: [and Guinness like you think you're doing something] Janis: [you'll be so full lol] Jimmy: 👍? Janis: 🤰 Jimmy: 👶'll be 🍀💚🎩🌈 as fuck Janis: if it makes it Janis: 🥴 Jimmy: 💪🏆🥇 as you, obvs Janis: n'awh Janis: you 👍? Jimmy: I am now you've broke that news Jimmy: 😁 Janis: we're all buzzing Janis: reason to celebrate never needed when you're 🍀💚🎩🌈 but Jimmy: @iantaylor8 🏆 for most chuffed of all about the 🍀💚🎩🌈 bit Jimmy: 🍾🍻 Janis: not yours, basically white Janis: his round then? 😁 Jimmy: we'd need more luck than that to get him to 💰 owt now that 🎄 is done with Jimmy: have to kill and rob him Jimmy: but as far as celebrations go, wouldn't be 👎 Janis: let's come up  with plan #2 Janis: we can handle it Jimmy: how does the 👶 wanna do it? all about them now Janis: car bomb, obviously Jimmy: nod to its real dad Janis: pretty sure we did a big 💣 in manchester so ian will be #triggered Jimmy: just keep giving me more and more top news today, you Janis: kind of mate I am Janis: anything to see you 😁 Jimmy: [doing it IRL of course] Janis: [when he still looks good fuming tbh, squishing his face like ugh] Jimmy: [making it into a kissy face like you love me really] Janis: [pushing him away by his face but not as aggressive as that sounds and standing up to get more drinks in as Ian isn't gonna show] Jimmy: [pulls her back not as aggressive as that sounds either lol even though we know she's only leaving to get more drinks] Janis: ['oi!' and a look like whaaaaaa but it's a LOOK] Jimmy: [all the eye contact as he stands up and sit her down in his seat like no no not in your condition I will go] Jimmy: [*** unrelated to what we're doing now but I had an idea that earlier like when Bobby and Libi were doing their goodbyes cos don't need him to translate that Jimothy signed pub? at the bae in irish sign language because he doesn't know much yet and isn't trying hard to learn because he thinks they're gonna leave but he'd have learnt that as a pisstake anyway just wanted to put this here so I didn't forget that lil nugget of info my brain thought up at like 3am***] Janis: [love that for you boy, noted] Janis: [🙄 but loling like alright, if you wanna pay fine by me boy] Jimmy: [signing 'stay' from the bar because I feel like the bubs would've been doing that at Twix and Killer today so we can pretend that's purely pisstakey and no deeper] Janis: [🤨 but in a sassy manner] Janis: coming for my gig now? Jimmy: can't be taking 💰 off you that's 🍼 out the 👶's mouth Janis: you ain't gonna pay for it? Janis: rude Jimmy: OBVS, but I don't reckon 💀👑'll hear and crack on FINALLY 💰 me tips Janis: 💡 Janis: sleep with her dad, tell him it's his Janis: live off that hush 💰 Jimmy: more 🥇💡 DON'T but 🗨 you did after you've put something in his drink/ let him be a massive pisshead on it 'cause you understand him unlike his missus Jimmy: all we've faked up to now, DNA test'd be piss easy Janis: just have to snatch a bit of 💀👑's hair Janis: not hard Janis: saliva and we'd be fucked, dunno if she produces that any more Jimmy: have to hurry while she's still got hair Janis: bet #2 has some Jimmy: go round hers in a bit, can't wait, me Jimmy: 💭 if we found out 💀👑 weren't his Jimmy: they'd both be SO 💔🎻😭 to have to dump each other Janis: I wish Janis: only my family giving that level of drama Jimmy: 💔 you can't use 😭 to do a test, I'd have got Ian to crack on ages ago Janis: whoever's your dad is also Bobby's, that's for sure Jimmy: probably is him then, he ain't the sort to let his missus have bloke mates hanging round that long Janis: soz, mate Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎻 Jimmy: be a 🥇 looking 👶 at least Jimmy: all our shit parents got that bit right Janis: guess so Janis: tah for the genetics, I'll take it from here Jimmy: [bring those drinks boy and obvs get her up so you can sit back down in your seat and she can sit on you] Janis: [forever and always even though the eye contact it demands is cray, just smiling and drinking our drink] Jimmy: [likewise but also just doodling on her skin absentmindedly because we're in love and probably a bit drunk by now assumedly] Janis: ['you could do that for a job' we mean tattooist but that isn't very clear gal so we must be a lil tipsy] Jimmy: [shoutout to your future child, love that but obvs he's like ? and draws it on her] Janis: [just like ugh at ourselves 'tattoos and shit, you know' shrugs 'you got a plan?'] Jimmy: [just shrugging because we haven't let ourselves think about the future for so many reasons 'do you?'] Janis: ['nah' shakes head 'but I'll get by, don't need more, like'] Jimmy: [nodding because we get it and doing a cheers with this drink] Janis: [drink to that lads 'if anything, easier to walk dogs when I've got a car'] Jimmy: ['any time you wanna borrow Ian's, crack on' we're just thinking that he's too happy and settled rn and we need to annoy him more lol] Janis: [😏 and cheersing again like tah] Jimmy: number of 🐕s, should probably nick a 🚍 instead though Janis: can do that too Jimmy: can 😴 there an' all if you need to Jimmy: stretch out Janis: living in one seems like something my ma'd do though Janis: ❌ Jimmy: bet your shit nan's church group'd have their 👀 on it Janis: [visibly 😒] Janis: goes without saying Jimmy: [a lil feelsy lean like soz because we know she sucks even if we don't know what happened] Janis: [using it to push him off in a jokey get off kinda way, like you ain't sat on him rn] Jimmy: [messing about like you're both gonna dramatically fall off this chair but then lowkey hurting himself a lil bit though we're obvs playing that off as fake too but it's real because yet again we've had a very busy day and done so much as if we're perfectly fine] Janis: [picking him back up and steadying him like you okay boy? and nudging his drink towards his lips like that'll help] Jimmy: [down that drink boy] Janis: [just lowkey having a feel of his stomach/ribs etc like you gotta check] Jimmy: [😏 cos we're pretending she's doing it to flirt with us obvs like she just can't keep her hands to herself ever which is true but also shh sir] Janis: [going with it 'cos not not true and we know it makes him awks but we still wanna] Jimmy: [kissing her because we always just want to] Janis: [have this makeout sesh whilst giving him a massage casually] Jimmy: [excuse us people in this pub] Janis: [looks dodgier than it is frankly] Jimmy: [love how shameless you both are and how often you just behave like you're the only two people around] Janis: [we're so unbothered by other people unless they're really in our faces about it] Jimmy: [mhmm hence we're just saying we missed her and how much in between kisses because we have and we're obvs so into everything she's doing rn] Janis: ['did you?' 'cos 'course we don't believe him/it] Jimmy: [stop kissing her for long enough you can hold that eye contact so she knows you mean it but then kiss her more intensely obvs] Janis: [going in even harder 'cos definition of !!! about it] Jimmy: [have a moment because it's deserved and needed and it'll shut him up from saying any more for a sec] Janis: [saying nothing in this pub but people should do something/be staring or say something so we can move huuuuuuuun] Jimmy: [that's realistic so yes] Janis: [we going about this town] Jimmy: [twirl her like you would've done when you were at this kid's party earlier please boy] Janis: [dance down these streets but don't fall tah] Jimmy: [and don't knock into anyone either because we don't need that drama] Janis: [no fighting shakira shakira] Jimmy: [not tonight thank you] Janis: [we gotta get drunk and spill secrets] Jimmy: [confess as many feelings as we dare] Janis: [heheheh, getting shots in that vein] Jimmy: [good idea boo] Janis: 🥃🥃🥃 Jimmy: 🥳🥳🥳 Janis: partying for 2 Jimmy: remind me to @ Asia 7 years from now to let her know how to throw a 🎁🎂🎈 that ain't all 💅💄 Janis: you ain't bad at face painting Janis: can have that Jimmy: tah very much Jimmy: be alright as long as Libi don't have me doing it whenever I see her Jimmy: be a bit weird if I have to carry a full face painting kit about Janis: you don't need to be that whipped Janis: won't hurt her to hear a nah every once and a while Jimmy: no need to be jealous, Jules Jimmy: you're still my muse Janis: piss off Jimmy: I'll 🥺🥺 for 2 if you make me Janis: go ahead Jimmy: [does] Janis: [regret 'cos we feeling all the things now] Jimmy: [carve that JJ love heart into the pub table like see you're my muse and ILY] Janis: [just tracing our finger round and round this heart] Jimmy: [literally is about to draw a heart on her and I'm like boy stop] Janis: ['your ex really cheat on you?' like why would he lie, but can't believe it] Jimmy: ['what kind of question is that?' because genuinely not something he expected her to ask rn] Janis: [a shrug like soz 'just what I was thinking about'] Jimmy: [a nudge but a gentle one 'what you thinking about her for?' sir she's thinking about you] Janis: [tuts like ugh, making me explain myself, how rude lol 'are you a shit real boyfriend or what?' like why would she if you were how you're faking now] Jimmy: [a shrug like 1. probably because the messy time after his mum disappeared 2. they were young af and neither of them had good role models clearly but we don't wanna really get into either of those things 'depends on the scale' like compared to who hun because lbr not an Ian or Mia's dad but we weren't #goals] Janis: [nods like we get it 'cos we do even though not personally like that might suggest, the shakes her head like let's move on 'cos accidentally brought the vibe down and we didn't mean to 'whatever, none of my business'] Jimmy: [leaves the ex's @ in this chat whatever it is like @ her for her POV if you like but irl we're shrugging again because we're so over her just not the mum mems of that era] Janis: 🤐 Janis: [dranking this drank faster] Jimmy: [nudges her like hey it's alright] Jimmy: *🔊 Janis: [😏 'not there yet' like let's go back to bants] Jimmy: where are you then? Janis: 🥺 of course Janis: you're quite inspiring too Jimmy: show me Janis: [😳 and can't do it back 'cos now we've got the giggles like stop it] Janis: can't just 👏 like Jimmy: [we're just 😍 af because she's adorable bye] Jimmy: alright, if there's no 👏 have to take back that 🌹 and your 🏆s Jimmy: go together them Janis: well now I'm 😠 Janis: [does that instead] Jimmy: [does a 📷 mime and then wordlessly goes to get her some kind of forfeit drink for not being oscar worthy af] Janis: [doing it now he's further away 'cos easier] Jimmy: you're rude, said it earlier Janis: you Jimmy: you Janis: [points] Jimmy: [signs it which I lowkey do think is just a point but anyway] Janis: 👆 Janis: the point emojis are crap Jimmy: 💔 Janis: looks more come here Janis: which don't not work rn but Jimmy: but do come here Janis: [making our way over, of course] Jimmy: [checking her out as she does obvs and when she does get there gesturing like get this barman's attention please because it's busy but she's a hot girl so she'll have more luck] Janis: [do the least to do the most such is your privilege babe] Jimmy: [kiss her like thank you because we weren't trying to stand there all night] Janis: [the barman like aw lmao] Jimmy: #👻problems Janis: #🍆problems Jimmy: fuming if it's a not a lass serving next Janis: fuming if it is, obvs Jimmy: if you're 😠 again, I'll be back at chuffed to bits Jimmy: so cute Janis: [fake punches him] Jimmy: [writes hate across her knuckles because I am not letting you write love boy stop it] Janis: [takes off the e by pretending to cut off the pinky] Jimmy: [😏 and draws the 🎩 on the back of her hand for that irish af vibe] Janis: [writes 'pot' on the other hand like there you go, pot of gold too] Jimmy: [draw a 🌈 on that one and 💰] Janis: [lols like lovely 'told you you had a future in it'] Jimmy: [just shaking his head because we can't take a compliment] Jimmy: you gonna name this 👶 something I can't pronounce or what? Janis: [raising our brows sassily like not hard] Janis: you can name it Janis: guilt trip move Jimmy: 🤔🤔💭 Jimmy: What's Mia's daddy's name? Jimmy: got a lie to sell here Janis: 🤔 Janis: maybe Michael or something, idk Janis: Miles Jimmy: Miley he'll love that Janis: meet your new sister Mia Jimmy: sister and step mum Janis: not even weird for me Jimmy: Libi must've missed that bit when she were doing the family tree Janis: thank fuck Janis: only so much you need to hear Jimmy: what were it you said about my ages old 💔? Jimmy: nowt to do with me, that Janis: nor me Jimmy: I told you before, up to you what you wanna 🗨 Janis: you pick Jimmy: your full list's all I want Janis: [a LOOK] Jimmy: [one back always] Jimmy: you owe me the one Janis: true Janis: remind me what I've said Jimmy: 1. 🚬👃 2. 🎤🗨 3. 💋 4. 🖕✌️🤟 is a might be, you never said it were or weren't for definite 5. 🤝 6. 💫 dunno what else to do for freckles so Janis: [impressed he remembered 'cos obviously did not just look through like my boo just had to lol] Janis: don't wanna repeat, wouldn't be fair Jimmy: [when it's really important to you because you literally told her in that convo that nobody has ever been this nice to you and it's obvs true] Jimmy: so go on Janis: it's unfair you took 👀s Janis: when yours are like ☀️ Janis: but I like your brows too Jimmy: you're ☀ Jimmy: and you know I'm fuming you took 💋 an' all Jimmy: but we've both got smell on there so I'm not gonna stop you rating what you rate Janis: take it as a whole Janis: you have pretty lashes too Janis: it's Jimmy: that'll get out of hand when I just say your entire face Jimmy: or your whole body Janis: everything about you Jimmy: that an' all Janis: [and I oop, just like our drink looks so interesting rn because dying] Jimmy: [a soft 'hey' because of course like 👀 at me] Janis: [you gotta look up gal 'yeah?' also soft] Jimmy: [gestures at her to come here like you literally didn't just get kicked out of a pub for this] Janis: [do though who are we] Jimmy: [we're softly but insistently kissing the bae's throat like we can coax words out cos so much we wanna say and so much we wanna hear] Janis: [the noise we are making, running our hands through his hair goes to gripping it 'you're not-' 'I'm supposed-' can we finish a sentence? no] Jimmy: [just doing it again like do you wanna finish a sentence gal and not at all because of her other reaction of course not] Janis: ['stop it' but in the most don't stop tone imaginable 'cos at least that's a sentence] Jimmy: [we're not but we are smooching the side of her neck instead] Janis: ['coming for my gig again' and moving to the side so you've gotta smooch for reals] Jimmy: [have a lil make out lads] Janis: [again lollol] Jimmy: [can't and won't be tamed, we're doing what we want tonight] Janis: [speaking of, you should get some good scran, idk what but I'm sure there's some bomb takeout vibes] Jimmy: [definitely, I doubt there was much savoury food at that party] Janis: [you can walk n eat n mayhaps talk hmm] Jimmy: [and snuggle because it's probably cold] Janis: [even if it's stopped snowing, deffo] Jimmy: [obvs just nudging her as you go along like you alright? because this boy loves checking in] Janis: [nudges him back like aren't you?] Jimmy: [smiling because we're having a lovely time] Janis: [😍 'good'] Jimmy: [😍 and doing the handhold swingy thing as we walk] Janis: ['you're alright, you know, not boring' just sounds like you thought he was but we mean in comparison to other peeps] Jimmy: ['when did you reckon I were boring? but we're amused 'bit rude'] Janis: [a face like oi but also amused 'no, I just didn't know you weren't before'] Jimmy: ['I knew you weren't' which makes you sound like a stalker or something lol but we're too drunk to think that through clearly] Janis: ['no you didn't' not just to be contrary we're just like lies lmao] Jimmy: [his own oi face 'wouldn't have picked you if I didn't' because true] Janis: [just narrowing our eyes like suspish but okay 'well I knew you didn't chat shit constantly, or try hard like most lads do' shrugs like bitch I noticed you too] Jimmy: [🤐 mime like well yeah I don't say anything and shrugging back 'no need' because he doesn't feel like he has anything to brag about genuinely and obvs we don't have any reason to try hard for the people we don't care about] Janis: [just gesturing like yes, my point exactly 'don't stop 'em, does it'] Jimmy: [gets out the phone we've literally not looked at all night, frowns at it and puts it back without actually bothering to do anything except make a point 'the lasses either, but that's not the kind of dickheads we are'] Janis: [shakes her head like no we are not and puts her hand out for him to shake] Jimmy: [does and then does pull her in for a hug because always 'chuffed it were you' from within this hug] Janis: ['we've done a good job' also from within the hug] Jimmy: [shaking his head because we don't wanna call it a job when literally you always do sir and also that now looks like you don't think this is going well] Janis: [looking at him when you pull back like ? because how it looks] Jimmy: ['not just a shift I'm putting in, you'] Janis: ['I dunno why I had a go about that' just like how cringe of me to show I gave a shit ugh] Jimmy: ['don't you?' and a shrug 'alright then' like oh are we just pretending we don't give a shit tonight okay cos we're sassy] Janis: [little lol 'don't take the piss' 'you know what I mean. meant. whatever'] Jimmy: ['don't sound like me that' 😏 because she literally said he's not a dickhead but he takes the piss] Janis: [getting SO close and making him stop walking so you can whisper in his ear 'it sounds exactly like you' and nipping his earlobe when you say 'sounds'] Jimmy: [saying 'fuck' with SO much feeling how they do] Janis: [nods like that's what I want to and looks around like we picked the wrong location lol] Jimmy: [looks in the direction they'd have to go to retrace their steps like if you wanna go we can go because Ian's stash forever] Janis: [follows his gaze like we could but eventually shakes her head 'we've got time, more places you need to see first if you wanna be a proper tourist'] Jimmy: [nods because 🥇 or nowt is the mantra but we're kissing her really hard first so she knows we're not just chill and we feel the tension and want the same things] Janis: [have your moment and take one before the next location] Jimmy: [for once I doubt you're the only peeps being extra at least such are the joys of town] Janis: [people always cracking on you're fine, even if you cared, which we are far beyond] Jimmy: [mhmm] Janis: [full drunk by now, never mind all our feels] Jimmy: [they should go somewhere they can do some grooving because not something they've done a lot of because of her ankle happening] Janis: [good thinking boo, hit the clerb, whole different vibe] Jimmy: [how cinematic when juxtaposed against the dancing at the kids party earlier lol] Janis: [day and night honey] Jimmy: [another good excuse for more shots because you can't dance and hold a big drink] Janis: [ooh, maybe Harry could be there Janis: we can just see and ignore him but intro that 'cos haven't yey] Jimmy: [I just nearly gasped because yes we do need to do that before all the sports stuff starts and she runs into him in a way she can't swerve] Janis: [it seems legit you could be out with your mates boy, you could be a bit older/look it too, it's believable you ain't the gals, maybe if she's getting drinks or Jimmy is he can come up but it'll look like just another random tryna hit her up] Jimmy: [that seems legit to me too] Janis: [but obviously it'd put her in some type of mood] Jimmy: [might also open a line of dialogue though so] Janis: [mhmm] Jimmy: [what way round do you wanna do it because obvs if he goes to get drinks and comes back to find them talking or whatever he'll be like bitch excuse me but if she was getting drinks and runs into him that way he won't even see Harry/know about that interaction] Janis: [maybe he goes to get them, it makes it easier, even if Harry literally walks away as he comes back 'cos that kind of snekk, he'd still see but they always getting hit on so he wouldn't assume that was responsible and be like oh I get it, yknow] Jimmy: [he'll just be like 🤨 looking him over as Harry walks away  but yeah not concerned and more jokey because it does happen always and he knows she can handle it] Janis: [just 😒 watching him go] Jimmy: [handing her these shots because we just think like we said he's a stranger and she'll be over it in a sec] Janis: [down it with vigour hun] Jimmy: [likewise because that's just how shots are, you gotta go in] Janis: [ick] Jimmy: [have never enjoyed a single one I've ever had but they are not J potato] Janis: [who is babe, go get your groove on aggressively] Jimmy: [hope it's not a slow jam and I especially hope Harry is not also hitting the dancefloor with some gal] Janis: [oh lawd, we're not doing that cliche of catching eyes dancing with other people boy, I think not] Jimmy: [you think you're that important Harold but you're honestly not] Janis: [accidentally making him think you're that into him, nah] Jimmy: [but anyway I shall start a convo when we've been dancing for an age and you're clearly still 😒 hun] Jimmy: What? Janis: what do you mean what? Jimmy: what's wrong? Janis: what do you reckon makes clubs smell so bad Janis: apart from all the sweat, that's obvious Jimmy: answer me, dickhead Janis: I'm alright, seriously Jimmy: bollocks Janis: ugh Janis: it's nothing though Jimmy: *something Jimmy: you wanna go outside? Janis: [mimes 🚬] Janis: sure Jimmy: [taking her hand like let's go] Janis: [smoking area moment, not like you'll be alone they're always packed] Jimmy: [lighting you both up and giving her a sec] Janis: ['just know that lad' shrugging like that explains that] Jimmy: ['and what?' because we're not letting it just drop] Janis: [after a while thinking and stopping and starting 'and- everyone else is a dickhead, yeah'] Jimmy: how much of a dickhead is he? Janis: no more than average, I suppose Janis: 💪🍆🔥👑 Janis: you know the sort Jimmy: yeah, what I dunno is why you're so bothered Janis: just didn't fancy seeing anyone I knew out Jimmy: you barely did do Janis: then let's go somewhere else after this Janis: forget about it Janis: [smiling at him like it's not fake but we're forcing this vibe rn] Jimmy: can you? Janis: yeah Jimmy: alright Janis: sorry Janis: he's just some twat Jimmy: you heard Jimmy: it's alright Janis: its not Janis: we're having a nice time Janis: meant to be Jimmy: I meant, he's doing your head in, you're not doing in mine Jimmy: we're alright Jimmy: nice is a bit rude though, as descriptions go Janis: [a LOOK up like 😏] Janis: how'd you describe it then Jimmy: not like we're sat in having a ☕🍪 with our kid and his missus Jimmy: but if you need a review then Jimmy: 🥇 Jimmy: that'd be it Janis: are you saying that's the definition of nice or a better time Janis: either way I have some questions Jimmy: what kind of question is that? Jimmy: it's obvs the definition of nice 👵👴💕 Janis: [shakes head as we get up like oh you 'leave you to it then'] Jimmy: [not letting you go gal putting his arms around her like no no 'Oi, I just gave you a top review, what more do you want?'] Janis: ['can always do better' and taking his hand like let's go, stay outta our way Hazza we got places to be] Jimmy: ['than you rating me boring and nice, yeah' but we're amused of course and doing another twirl as we go] Janis: ['I did not!' and a pouty face like how dare YOU suggest I did] Jimmy: [thank god we can do the pouty lip thing this time and nothing can stop us] Janis: [freedom] Jimmy: [You're welcome lads] Janis: [y'all can do what you want like going to the toilets and living that cliche moment] Jimmy: [not the first time, we all remember pub crawl, but it would be busier so pluses and minuses to that] Janis: [we gotta for a myriad of reasons still not about you though Harry but you've put us in a mood to prove some things so tah] Jimmy: [mhmm] Janis: [get out of this clerb and into a different one, better or worse, idk what's more fun tbh] Jimmy: [again it's not about you Harold] Janis: [soz we have such a dramatic reaction to seeing you lmao like hell to the no] Jimmy: [it's deserved you're not a good egg] Janis: [we'd be more chill if we weren't drunk, like he's just gonna come over and ruin everything, he might try tbf, run lads and continue grooving] Jimmy: [we're on a touristy tour here sir gotta move along] Janis: [you are not invited good day, back on the shots shots shots] Jimmy: [don't at all look forward to seeing you soon hun] Janis: [at least we're not doing the grace of it all now, although, continuously triggering everyone 'cos that's what they think Liam did with Edie to be around Rio, which yeah at first but shh] Jimmy: [the temptation to do that again now you've said that lol] Janis: [yeah, it came to me as I typed it lol] Jimmy: [fuck it let's do it, we can totally make him her baby daddy for that hot sec to really trigger everyone haha] Janis: [no offence to your barrenness but THANK GOD don't actually need babies from lies] Jimmy: [I can't do that to you gal even if we could] Janis: [would not be cute, he'd be tryna pay for your abortion like] Jimmy: [it's so far from #goals as is nobody needs that] Janis: [it's even worse than drew and caleb soz my love but no, hence ali had to be like no no in that convo we did when we did it before] Jimmy: [but what if that's when she gets her nose ring because it's like a Cameron trying to get Nicki to wear Chloe's lipstick situation!] Janis: [🤢 OMG, you can use all the really tryhard stuff of late, like, we know you would babe] Jimmy: [Sammi's moment of trying to be black will actually be useful to me, who knew] Janis: [just thinking about the wurls wig and dying 'cos it looked so bad oh gal] Jimmy: [HARD SAME] Janis: [and I oop, we're gonna lose our mind with you] Jimmy: [the drama] Janis: [oh lord] Jimmy: [anyways back to this, do you wanna do a skip or have you got things you wanna have happen rn off the back of this Harry situation?] Janis: [we can probably skip to going home even? we know how the nights gonna go and it'll be fun and feelsy but that's the STAY of it all] Jimmy: [true I just didn't wanna rush you gal if you had stuff you wanted to say or do before that so] Janis: [nah we good I just wanted to establish him so when he crops back up later we've got this vague memory like oh] Jimmy: [it was a good way to do it boo, good thinking] Janis: [big brain booty] Janis: [where would you like to hook up/where are you then gonna try to leave from] Jimmy: [do you wanna be at his gaff or are you thinking before they get there?] Janis: [his makes sense for going to mcvickers after] Jimmy: [be having a nightcap and all the sauciness that entails but then try and leave gal] Janis: [like gotta go before anyone wakes, sure you're being well loud tbh lads but okay] Jimmy: [as excuses go a very legit one and also the bubs do wake up well early like what time even is it] Janis: [but also who cares you've been on a minibreak together] Jimmy: [literally] Janis: [baby its cold outside Jimmy: [what's your vibe like is she gonna say anything or is she just casually getting ready to leave?] Janis: [I think just getting ready when she thinks he's passed out but we're drunk so we're clearly not making a good go of doing it stealth here lol] Jimmy: [obvs gonna chuck something at her then like excuse you] Janis: [#shooketh and thus doing angry whispers 'what was that for dickhead?!'] Jimmy: ['where you going?' as if that's not obvious because we're drunk so it's not] Janis: [dramatically shushing him which in itself is louder than you're being already probs 'trying not to wake anybody up here'] Jimmy: [a sarcastic but amused 👍 because that's going well and then repeating our question] Janis: [throwing whatever he threw at us back like don't be fucking rude 'home' which you gotta stop saying when you mean mcvickers 'cos sounds like you planning to trek] Jimmy: [catching it and being really proud of ourselves with our expression but then frowning because we do think she means she's going home 'you're not, there's no buses for ages' because again what weird am is this lol] Janis: [😏 and a sassy fake clap for him 'Oh, I mean my nans' like my bad 'before he's getting up for work or...whatever'] Jimmy: [dramatically shushing her for the clap like she did to him a sec ago 'it's the weekend' because it is 'only dickheads like us do Sundays'] Janis: ['oh' when you genuinely forgot but now it seems like you lyin' lmao] Jimmy: [when you get up v dramatically to be up in her grill like 👀 cos are you lying gal but when we're standing there we just get distracted by like moving her hair out of her face and fixing her clothes and generally being soft and close and helpful] Janis: ['you-' and then getting distracted by his lack of clothing for a sec like oh '-you don't have to be nice, you know'] Jimmy: ['stop calling me nice, dickhead' but softer than the words suggest and not just because we are this close and whispering] Janis: ['stop being nice then' in a challenge type of way] Jimmy: [push her back onto this bed boy but in a hot way not a dangerous one] Janis: [definition of that 😈 tbh] Jimmy: [whatever she's managed to put on he's taking off, RIP to this dress or whatever if you don't survive] Janis: [running our fingers through his hair again for the throwback to earlier 'you're SO nice, baby'] Jimmy: [giving her a massive lovebite near to wherever he did that first one way earlier and going as hard for that throwback as well because we're 😈 ] Janis: [when you're egging him on telling him how nice he is over and over but then you do the biggest gasp] Jimmy: [going over the OG one as well because it's right there tempting us 'I'll do whatever you want for as long as you're here, nice, not nice, owt else' like don't go gal] Janis: [just about getting out 'but what do you want?'] Jimmy: ['you' because true and we're drunk so we can answer a question 'I keep saying I don't want you to go anywhere' because he literally said it on the school trip in those words when they were doing an activity and having a little domestic and god knows how many times we've either said it or tried to make it clear since] Janis: ['me...' which we ALMOST phrase as a question, such is our disbelief/how much we've been caught off guard by that despite how obvious it is to us all but it's okay catch up gal 'and I keep saying you can have me' because we have and we mean it] Jimmy: ['you say it but then you- look and gesture towards the door like you were literally trying to leave and you know we're thinking about when she properly left] Janis: ['I never wanna stay if you want me to leave' a pause like I know that doesn't sound like it makes sense now you've said that but 'because I wanna be with you a lot...like all the fucking time and-'] Jimmy: ['I don't want either of us to leave' the tea and also how sad and soft his voice would be about that because we think it's looming over us 'if I had any fucking choice, I'd pick this, just give me the same back'] Janis: [kissing him hard, but not JUST kissing him like we usually would when we can't say what we want/don't know what to say 'okay' just as sad but serious like this ain't no game 'I'm scared but okay'] Jimmy: [holding her but not JUST how he would when he doesn't want her to go 'it's alright, when you're about, I'm not' like you can be scared gal cos I feel safe with you and it's the only time I ever do so I've got this] Janis: ['that's why I am' from deep inside this hug like we barely saying it but we are] Jimmy: ['bit of pressure, I get it' because we know we're saying there that everything else is shit and you're the only good thing keeping us going and that's a lot] Janis: [shaking our head 'I mean-' big sigh 'cos even if we're drunk it's a lot to say '-the more amazing it is now, the more there's going to be to miss'] Jimmy: ['there were loads to miss ages ago' because lbr the moment you started this you were in too deep and deeper than you've been with anyone else 'it weren't like owt else I've felt kissing any other lass soon as we had that first go at it' drunkenly spilling that tea] Janis: ['Ive never felt anything before' 'cos likewise] Jimmy: ['alright, no need to one up me that hard' cos you don't believe that's even possible lowkey when she clearly feels so much with you] Janis: [soft nudge 'I can't help the truth'] Jimmy: [one back obvs 'as competitions go, not fuming to lose this one'] Janis: ['I have kissed other people' like don't think he thought you were saying that but okay] Jimmy: [a sound like yeah obvs/no shit because we weren't thinking that 'but they were shitter at it than whatever review of me you're gonna @ my ex for, I get it' because not letting go that she brought that up but we're not mad about it still just amused] Janis: ['must be' shrugs 'knock to the ego can't hurt' not gonna go drunk text him the shade though tah 'was not, I was just asking a question' like stop it but we're not mad really] Jimmy: ['I don't care about how them dickheads feel, her included, just you'] Janis: [smile 'I can get behind that'] Jimmy: [smile back 😍] Janis: ['you're the cutest person I've ever seen' and putting our fingers in his dimples like oop] Jimmy: [a lil lol which we can't help even as we shake our head because no gal you are 'need to look in the mirror more, you'] Jimmy: [lowkey trying to drag her to where the nearest mirror is like is that even this room or are you trying to go to the bathroom? boy shh] Janis: [don't actually wake this bub you're lowkey too drunk to deal with him boy, 'cos we're so amused and playfighting him as silently as we can like noooo 'you you you'] Jimmy: [thank god we made him deaf because Libi would 1000% be awake by now lol, just drunkenly taking so many pictures of her face and so many weird close ups as we playfight and showing her them all like no look it's you] Janis: [just a fight to delete them as if 1. you look bad in any really 2. he's just gonna post them all rn] Jimmy: [we know you just wanna fight so he can pin you again for that saucy throwback] Janis: [obvs, we do not need to deny] Jimmy: [we'll let you have that moment and ensuing hook up during which you can call her baby in a way that is not at all a pisstake for the first time because we're drunk and feelsy enough for this] Janis: [just die bye, safe to say you won't be trying to go anywhere after that] Jimmy: [you gotta snuggle and snooze and be happy]

[punkscowardschampions]

Lux & Dash

Lux: Good pilgrim, praytell Lux: is your hair just like that or do you have a routine Lux: I must know Dash: what's yours naturally trying to hang like? I'll hit you with what's outta this world 🐤 Lux: full samara, senpai Lux: turn off the tube QUICK 🙄 Dash: 🤣 bummer Dash: 🥥 oil is far out on all hair types even 🔪🔪🔪 Dash: aloe vera will make her 💪 Dash: lemme 🤔🤔.... Dash: do you fuck with 🐣?? Lux 🙇 down at your feet, oh lord is the most high place! 🙌 Lux: the chooks here lay too many for us non-strict-vegans to get through Lux: save my hair AND cut down on our foodwaste? Lux: I will be ♕ and you will be ♚ Dash: 2 🥄 🥑 oil, same of 🥥 & aloe vera gel Dash: 2 raw 🥚 Dash: heat it & leave that baby on for time Dash: 30 mins ++++ Dash: 🚿 with whoever Lux: the CP of my hair is gonna rival Rapunzels Lux: 💃💃💃 Lux: I promise to never ever clock you with a 🍳 Dash: 💛👼👑 Dash: you'd be choice with her 🌺🌺🌺  look Lux: 😘 plant 🌱 for every 🌺 and compliment you gimme then we can talk about april showers coming earlier than anticipated☔️ Dash: right on Lux: Is your full name Dashiell/ can I call you that anyway Lux: because its really fitting and if you care to know I shall tell you for why Dash: it's not but if you're down I can be down too Lux: SO; here was my thought 🚄 climb aboard and ride the rails with me for a sec here Lux: Dash ➼ Dashiell ➼ meaning page boy ➼ page boy = ring bearer ➼ ring bearers of the One Ring ➼ Samwise Gamgee = you AM I RIGHT OR AM I RIGHT Dash: 🤯🤯👍 Lux: I know, allow me to scoop up the remainder your 🧠 from the ceiling and put it into a handwoven jute tote for you to take home Lux: I been knew you love food as much as him, its like 1845-49 up in here after you've come around 🥔💀 Dash: tight gestures like those 👐 gotta keep you in the groove here 🥰 Dash: trust you to pick up on a royal appetite Lux: I'm the holy daughter returned, boy Lux: only eating manna from heaven, though if anyone in this place could make a 😋 cake like back home, I'd let them eat it Dash: set to call you that when I fall in with my 🎺 but do you go by anything shorter on top? Lux: Hebrews 13:2!!! Lux: so that explains where you come from Lux: more in a cloud of smoke than holy light but they could only get so many details dead on in the good book Lux: I'm Lux, of course, X if the mood takes you but I can't make it any easier for you Dash: here to make us 👀 the light, yeah? righteous 👼 Lux: The mission of making my parents proud of me again is not one I am currently embarked upon but service to God and all his creations was always their jam Lux: supposedly Lux: but if you're here to get me to renounce my sex, along with the devil and all his works (duh), oh angelic messenger, I still have to decline Dash: aere perennius is the vibe I'm picking up from you, Lux Dash: it'd be a heavy mission Lux: You owe the world a forest for that one because words like that evoke so many cardinal sins within me Dash: do you know about 🎋? Lux: Tell me Dash: it's a tanabata tree, for wishes Dash: they set the bamboo afloat on the river or on 🔥 after the festival Lux: We must participate here Lux: and one day I will go to where the festival is meant to be and you must come because you introduced me to the magic Dash: we can go to Japan, Sao Paolo or LA, they all have 'em Lux: Of course Lux: I seem to have traveled in the wrong direction Lux: to the wrong coast and onwards Dash: at least you ain't separated from your lover by a 🌌 Dash: that's the legend that goes with the festival Lux: oh Lux: how heartbreakingly beautiful Dash: but they are allowed to meet once a year on the 7th day of the 7th lunar month Dash: it's not a total downer Lux: so young Dashiell believes it is better to taste heaven but the once than to never know it at all Lux: good Lux: I like you Dash: I try & get my kicks tasting as much as I can as often as I can Dash: though yeah, once over never Lux: can't take on the 🌌 Lux: though perhaps you can, with a name like a superhero Dash: no sweat 💪 Dash: if I don't ✂ my hair off 😏 Lux: 😱 Lux: I do have weak ankles! Lux: you avoid barbers and I'll avoid heels that are taller than... Lux: five Lux: no six inches Dash: 👌👌 Dash: if you avoid any heel I'll be able to reach you way out though Dash: no 🛹 jumps 💫 Lux: YET Lux: until you remember where you parked your chariot of fire, you give me reason to kick off my heels, and I'll happily do it Dash: 💃? Lux: Both in worn levis, both in torn T-shirts Lux: of course, that's the only way Dash: there's a tanabata song, I could sing it for you Dash: the translation at least Lux: 😻🙏 Dash: it'll be a blast Lux: 🚀🌠 Dash: have you 👀🎸? Dash: mine's MIA Lux: you can borrow my girl Lux: for one song Dash: I won't hog her like a flake, digging the trust too much Lux: you can abuse my trust just go easy on Dolores Lux: she's a folksy kinda gal, if you kick it punk rock she'll 😳😩 Dash: she'll stay 🍒💖 I'm about a gentle touch Dash: what kind are you? the words are the festival's but I don't know the 🎶 Dash: I'll make it yours, like Lux: as angelic as you look Lux: a sinner can only but hope not Lux: how about you sing it for me but play it like its yours Dash: cool with me Lux: then the song can be ours Dash: I think you're unreal Dash: the most Lux: Oh, because I am Lux: and you are perfect because you know that's a compliment Dash: this fly by of yours is gonna last some time, yeah? Lux: though not compelled by God or a power higher than my own Lux: this is where I'm meant to be Dash: me too Lux: I know Lux: I divined you out of 🌟✨☀️🌌 Dash: we planting that forest to grow together or on opposite sides? Lux: one 🌎 one 💓 Dash: roots are gonna get tangled if you keep laying down your 💓 next to mine Lux: I can grow anywhere Lux: you don't need to worry about me Dash: 🌻 Dash: you're gonna make this place better, I feel it Lux: you have family here? Lux: in the commune Dash: yeah Lux: do you like it here Dash: I love it Lux: I do too Lux: its Lux: loving Dash: when did you come through? have you met every 🐤 & 🐈? cos you should meet everyone Dash: feel all the love Lux: I've been in Dublin about... a month, two Lux: feels like forever Lux: but here I'm a total 🍒 Lux: I met Hazel completely by fate at a women's health drop-in she was running a few weeks ago, told her my story and here I am Dash: farm tour 1st 🍀 tour 2nd Lux: Coming Lux: 🎸 in tow Dash: safe Lux: and sound Lux: I'm just tryna catch a mirror moment Lux: not enough, if I had any complaints but 🤫 Dash: which room's yours? I'll make space to hang another one near Dash: then the 🌙 Lux: we'll end the tour there Lux: my contribution Dash: now that's sound Lux: Do you know about me? Dash: what about you? Lux: That I don't have girl parts Lux: I won't be accused of that kind of trickery Dash: I won't accuse you of any Lux: ☺ Dash: you set the pace, I'm in it Lux: You're keeping up spectacularly Lux: now, where does my tour start? Dash: orchard Lux: 🍏🍎🍐🍊🍋🍇🍈🍒🍑🥭 Dash: there's the best 🍏🍎 tree, easy to climb whatever shoes you're wearing Dash: you can see the whole farm from the top Lux: [Show up honey] Dash: [😍 at her we all know] Lux: [dressed hyper-femme as always and way more dressy than most here we know, doing a curtsey like 🤭] Dash: [holds out a 🍎 like he's the 🐍 & she's Eve, looking cute and tempting] Lux: [obviously taking it and taking a sassy bite] Dash: [into it obviously hand holding through this orchard tour for Winnie's sake] Lux: [gonna climb this tree] Dash: [do it kids] Lux: [gonna have to help her even though she's left the heels behind] Dash: [thankfully he's not that much of a dick that he won't, imagine just like byeeee] Lux: [😂 no one needs anyone falling out of a tree rn] Dash: [we aren't killing either of you off so just enjoy the view] Lux: ['it looks so big from up here, when you're in it, it feels...close'] Dash: ['it's big but the fam's bigger' gives her a look like you'll see, genuinely buzzing cos does love it here] Lux: [the biggest smile 'why don't you live here?'] Dash: ['my mum & dad don't, & that's their biggest drag, they ain't hip but they ain't real hassle' casually don't mention that Cosmo exists okay then] Lux: [nods 'everyone should get as much family as they can'] Dash: ['you can meet 'em too, it's cool'] Lux: [excited puppy look like really?!] Dash: ['my mum used to be a rad skater & now she sits around bench racing at her own bone yard, it's a good space to hang loose'] Lux: [just listening like no way! 'what about your dad?'] Dash: ['he's more easily bugged, we don't always vibe, but shit stays chill'] Lux: ['yeah but what did he used to be? before he got old and boring too'] Dash: ['he played football' with a shrug cos so uninterested we know] Lux: ['ooh, was he famous?'] Dash: ['not really'] Lux: ['bummer'] Dash: ['you wanna be famous?'] Lux: [is thinking like hmm 'I don't NOT want it but its not my number one all-time dream...not even top ten'] Dash: ['what is?'] Lux: [puts her index fingers to the corners of his mouth to make him smile] Dash: [laughs] Lux: ['you?'] Dash: ['I'm thinking we should start a band' shout out to Ali your lowkey grandma] Lux: [a look like um yes, how have you not and putting three fingers up to let him know its made the list] Dash: [starts to climb down like come on, so much to see] Lux: ['don't ditch me!' and running after him] Dash: [takes her all around the vegetable patches next, introducing her to any peeps they come across] Lux: [living laughing loving honestly we can skip] Dash: [imagine all the cute animals they would have, I hope none of them die in the fire I'll cry] Lux: [lmao animals usually bolt when fire so they should be fine, unless they then get hit by cars or some shit] Dash: [I'm saying they are all A okay bitch] Dash: [post tour skip] Dash: gotta hit home Dash: later? Lux: Undoubtedly 😊 Dash: we'll jam Dash: 🤔 band names Lux: I'll throw it out there Lux: I wonder if anyone can drum drum Lux: not just drum circle Lux: I'll ask that too Dash: I'm jazzed Lux: 🎺 Dash: you play the harp 👼? Lux: ☺😋💕 Lux: If only Lux: there are bass' and banjos and plenty of acoustics Lux: I'll go thrifting and see if I can find one Dash: wait for me Lux: we should see how many wild instruments we can find Lux: one for everyone Dash: your 🧠⚙️ is far out Lux: but not far enough you can't reach me Dash: 🌌 can't stop me, yeah? Lux: nope Lux: not as long as you got that hair Dash: [selfie like it's still there] Lux: Thank God Lux: don't need to 😢 today Dash: you don't need to cry any day baby Lux: Keep me smiling Dash: I've got you Dash: we all have Lux: 💕 Lux: I really thought I knew family and community before this, you know Lux: but I was wrong then and this is better Dash: right on Lux: You're adorable Dash: I've got 👀 for you too Lux: I know Lux: your 👀 are like Lux: coffee Dash: 🧠⚙💖 Dash: yours are like jumping into a river Dash: they get bluer the deeper you go Lux: oh Lux: I think I want you back here now Lux: where did you go again Dash: 🛹🗲 Dash: my parents place Dash: you wanna meet me there? Lux: I'm not in the mood to meet your parents right this second, forgive me Lux: but by the time I've finished dinner here and 🚲 over Lux: sounds good Dash: idk if they're there cos I'm not yet Lux: so we can be alone alone Lux: that'd be novel Dash: yeah Dash: it feels like so much empty space Dash: for the number of bodies who live in it Lux: do you feel lonely there Dash: nah, it's got a good feel Dash: I grew up in it Lux: That's a feel you can't buy Dash: I'll show you my 👶📸 Dash: they're wild Lux: you musta been so cute Lux: your face is still 👶 now Dash: no ✂ then either Lux: so mowgli Dash: oh no, is this a trippy topic for you? Dash: I didn't think Lux: it's okay, I like hearing about happy kids Lux: its a sin to be envious of or covet other people's happiness Dash: Lux Lux: 😊? Dash: I don't think I believe in sin Dash: so if you wanna harsh on my good vibes, you know, I won't be 😡 Lux: Oh, sin is very real, its just whether you believe you'll be punished for the sins that are written about Lux: I appreciate you but I've got nothing to be 😡 about either Lux: 🤞 Dash: you can hit me with a shut up any time Dash: I'll still dig you Lux: I enjoy our conversations Dash: yeah? Lux: absolutely Lux: you're a beautiful 🐺 boy Dash: you're the most beautiful 🦊 Lux: never stone cold Dash: nah, the hottest Lux: I feel it Dash: 👍 it's the mood you gotta stay in Lux: with you around, that shouldn't be a problem Dash: we'll keep vibing Lux: did you like it Dash: you want me to say what I know you could tell Dash: I'll write you a 🎶 Lux: First hit for the band? Lux: I'll be famous after-all Dash: I've been listening Dash: I understand what you want Lux: and you're gonna give it to me Dash: that's my action for sure Lux: roll 20 please Dash: come be alone with me Lux: dash dash dash Lux: you're so pretty and fun and cool and I want you again Dash: [sends her the deets to where his house is] Lux: so far Lux: I must like you huh 😏 Dash: yeah it's a drag where I live Dash: but it's new heights that you like me Dash: 🚀💕 Lux: why wouldn't I? Dash: idk Dash: do you know about me? Lux: I know enough to like you Lux: what do you think would make me unlike you Lux: let's compare Dash: it's not all laid back the shit that other girls say Lux: you're a 💔 Dash: I'm not out here making a game of it like that Dash: but it's happened for real Lux: Oh dear Dashiell Lux: my heart was broken long before I got here Lux: and I've had to severe and untangle roots so much deeper than yours could ever be Lux: I told you, there's no need to worry about me, you can't hurt me Dash: that's fucked up Lux: Perhaps Dash: can I make it any better? Lux: no Lux: but that's okay Lux: now is better, there's no need to fix what's been Dash: I wasn't being plastic before, you're home now Lux: I feel it Lux: I have no choice but to give up my old definition but I'm less scared and 😢 at the prospect of the redefinition now, forced though it was Dash: it'll be okay Dash: we'll make it happen that it's only that Dash: or like better Lux: you're not a bad person Lux: I can tell Dash: if I'm someone you like, I'm cool with it Lux: good Lux: I need people right now, you know Dash: everyone at the farm, they'll be what you need Dash: they are for me Lux: what do you need them for? Dash: a blast Dash: my other fam want me to change some shit I do Lux: 🚀👌 Lux: I get that Lux: is it stuff you can't change or don't wanna Dash: idk if I recognise the difference Lux: sounds like a can't, then Dash: stepping into new 👟 feels like a bad scene Dash: I fuck with the ones I've worn in Lux: That's up to you Lux: I like new shoes Lux: maybe they're just worried your feet are getting all scrunched outta place Dash: yours are groovy though Dash: not handed down Dash: they fit you Lux: I had to steal 'em though Lux: and when my dad found 'em they sent me away Dash: a 🦊 like I said Lux: have you seen the fox and the hound? Dash: nah Dash: it's disney yeah? Lux: Yep Lux: I'm gonna make you watch it Dash: I'm about netflix & chill Lux: We'll chill first Lux: its real sad Lux: 😭 Dash: I be trying to chill with you nonstop though Dash: how bad do you want me to 👀 at things other than you Lux: 🤭 Lux: maybe your cinematic education can wait Lux: if we're truly to make the most of alone alone time Dash: lay it on me that I'm an ugly crier another day Dash: we're making beautiful things happen Lux: you're Lux: just like Lux: seraphic Dash: around you, I gotta be Lux: nu-uh Lux: I can't tell Lux: I fell out of God's favour like a long time ago Dash: you can tell Dash: you're still 👼 Dash: the fallen ones were the most beautiful anyway, yeah? Dash: god's a jealous 🐈 Lux: All angels are beautifulc Lux: and genderless actually, like God Lux: beyond our limited understanding, better Dash: cool Lux: for them Lux: its self-idolatry if you want it for yourself Lux: 🚫 Dash: if I want you for myself, what sin is that? Lux: you actually wanna know? 'cos I've always thought this particular subset of sins sounds unintentionally hot Dash: I'm listening intently Lux: peccata clamantia Lux: The sins that cry to Heaven for Vengeance 🤤 Lux: they're the ones that God will deliver his justice upon, lots of people only know about the seven deadly Lux: but they're the least serious, actually Dash: shit Lux: guess that's why it feels so good Lux: shall we? Dash: 🌌 & god trying to stop us but I'm 💪 Lux: you want me Dash: yeah Lux: then you can have me Dash: show up Lux: I am Lux: ⏲ Dash: right now though Lux: if only my bike had wings Dash: that can be your festival wish Dash: mine too cos I've waited fucked up amounts of time for you Lux: 💡 Lux: your mind, boy Lux: though patience is evidently not your virtue, I'm not mad about it Lux: at all Dash: idc about virtues if you're a sin Lux: you're making me all pink Dash: it's a beautiful colour for you Lux: you're the loveliest 🐺 I've ever known Dash: I wanna be Lux: you are baby Dash: you're like a song I can't get out of my head Dash: & it's the most Dash: I'm so connected to every word Lux: You make me feel really...high but it that warm, soft focus way where there's no bad thoughts or feelings at all, no doubt or regret or shame creeping in, just the good washing over you again and again, like that split-second after you cum but Lux: prolonged Lux: its crazy, you're crazy Dash: we can live in it Lux: lets Dash: I'm in Lux: 🎡🎢🎠 Dash: 🎪🤹 Lux: 🤡 Dash: 🦁🐯 Lux: 🐘 Dash: 🍿 Lux: 🥜 Dash: 🐿️ Lux: 😱 Lux: how could you Mr Squirell Dash: he's gotta eat Lux: He could've just asked Dash: he don't know you like that Dash: thought you'd say nah Dash: I tried to persuade him he wasn't right on & you're 👍 but I must not 🗨🐿 Lux: 😂 Lux: he's more than likely from my homeland, I'll speak to him Lux: can't understand your accent Dash: gabh mo leithscéal Lux: 🤗 what did you say?! Dash: pardon me Dash: is 🗨🍀 on your list? Lux: I've always wanted to Lux: no one at my father's church really spoke it Lux: or would teach me if they did Lux: will you? Dash: my mum taught me Dash: hers never spoke it either Dash: your turn to bring me an 🍎 Dash: but yeah Lux: 😣 damn Lux: someone else here might, I've heard loads of languages flying about Dash: eu também sei português Dash: also from that side of the fam Lux: I 👀 that Dash: Arlo & his brother & sisters are my cousins Lux: Ahh Lux: that's cool Lux: they're so cute Dash: there's many more but they don't live at the farm Dash: you have to catch 'em when they fly by Lux: I'll be sure to do that Lux: do they all have lots of kids, how are there so many Lux: no offense Dash: started with 11 Dash: & most of 'em had 👶s Lux: ELEVEN Lux: 🤔💡 Lux: are you mormons? Dash: 🌼 children ☮ Dash: it was a big-ish fam before that though 👵 had 8 Dash: & she's no hippie Lux: why are you an only-child? Dash: I'm not Dash: I've got an older brother Lux: oh, me too! Lux: he's 13 years older Lux: I was a miracle mistake baby Lux: where's yours Dash: at ⚽ training I think Dash: that's his bag Lux: oh he's not 👴 Lux: you didn't mention him before Dash: he's 18 months + on me Dash: but we're in different 🌌 Lux: I feel you Lux: it musta been nice when you were kids though Lux: I loved when there were kids in the congregation but people always moved on, from God or physically Dash: nah, it's been hassle from the jump Dash: he's 🏆🥇💪 Dash: I'm 💫🚀👀 Lux: you don't like him huh Dash: he's a drag Dash: we're usually jiving 🥊 there's no ☮ & 💓 Dash: messes with my equilibrium Lux: You gotta protect yourself Lux: I get it Dash: I knew you would Lux: 'course Lux: its the same with my brother and my mom Lux: they still 💓 me but they can't see me Dash: do you 💓 'em? Lux: oh of course Lux: they're my family Dash: do you wish you could see 'em? Lux: I wish I still lived with them Lux: but I understand why I can't Dash: do you get to 🗨? Lux: no Dash: can't you? if your dad didn't find out? Lux: No Lux: not unless I'm going to make efforts, make changes Lux: and I can't and that's two eternal sins Lux: at least Lux: could make a case for 3 Lux: so they have to turn away, you see Lux: they all love me but there's nothing they can do until I do Dash: I'm sorry Dash: that everything's so heavy for you Lux: you don't need to be sorry Lux: not your transgressions Dash: but I don't want you to change Dash: & idc if it's a sin Lux: you're sweet Lux: they just want to save me from hell Dash: we're gonna have to live forever Dash: to save you Lux: We better find the philosopher's stone Lux: or the fountain of youth Dash: the 🐿 will help Dash: he digs you now Lux: he's a wizard Lux: knew it 😏 Dash: most animals have magic Lux: true facts Dash: 🦊s who are unreal 👼s especially Lux: you're such a flirt Lux: 😋 Dash: yeah 😏 Dash: that's my magic 😍💖 Lux: I can't disagree Dash: 💭😘 Lux: you can dream 'til I get there Dash: I'm 👀 for your 🚲 Lux: I'm meant to be up on the balcony, not you Lux: love some role reversal Dash: yo don't be on the rebound, Romeo 💔 Lux: awh you jealous Dash: 🤣 Dash: of someone you forget at the start of the play as soon as you 🕰 me? nah baby Dash: but it's salty to the other 💘 Lux: It saves her life Lux: she's fine, honestly, thriving Dash: okay then yeah, I am jealous Dash: of her thrive Lux: poor boy Dash: it's no bummer, like Dash: she ain't gonna be immortal, that's me & you Dash: our fam Lux: there's only so much magic to go around Dash: however much there is, we gotta use it right Lux: 🎺 that's holy decree Dash: & royal 👑 Lux: okay sweet prince Lux: 🤭 Dash: if I go solo from the band, there's an outta sight name Lux: you could do so many covers 💜 Dash: it'd be groovy Dash: but I ain't leaving the group Lux: not before its started Lux: have some loyalty, boy Dash: yo not ever Lux: we gonna do a blood oath Dash: use your hair as a 🔪 before the 🥑 & 🥥 hits Dash: or the ✂ I don't Lux: 😂 you're horrible Lux: and its far too limp for that Dash: nah your hair is 💣 Lux: ☺ Lux: really Dash: yeah Lux: it grew quite fast Dash: 🔮✨ Lux: I'm gonna grow it as long as I can Dash: there might be a better recipe Dash: I'll 🗨 to every 🐤 on the farm Lux: I wish I had curls like them too Lux: most of them Lux: alas Dash: you can borrow mine Lux: you're the bestest friend in the whole 🌌 Dash: 🤞🤝👐 Lux: let down your long hair then Lux: I think I've arrived Dash: [let her in and give her a house tour boy] Lux: [we clearly need Cosmo to come back like Dash did in that convo jussayin] Dash: [payback tbh so yeah we do] Lux: [she'd just be chatting up a storm, awks] Dash: [casually steer her to your room as fast as you can like] Lux: [just being like wanna come watch fox and the hound lmao] Dash: [she's so cute bye] Lux: [at least Cosmo won't be rude to you, even if he is like umm] Dash: [just thinks she's high probably] Lux: [most likely] Dash: [rude but fair] Lux: [when is your brother not as far as you're concerned] Dash: [exactly dr phil] Lux: [anything else we wanna though?] Dash: [we know what's up I think we can post it]

[punkscowardschampions]

Janis & Jimmy

Janis: I know we said no more plans Janis: but hear me out Jimmy: Go on Janis: I'm sick of my fam being on my back Janis: and they've only ramped it up since the whole joyride, which didn't even happen so Janis: 💡 Jimmy: What? Janis: It's a bit weird but reckon you can handle it, it won't take much Janis: 'cos obvs they think you're so 😎 you've just gotta come and be 😇 at 'em for a sec so they calm down Janis: like I said, their concern does not ever last long but I can't hack this bullshit, my sister's at it now as well Jimmy: I ain't going to church but if it ain't that Janis: Church nan ain't white nan, you're fine Janis: unless you hit her up too Jimmy: Is she as fit as your white nan 'cause then I might do Janis: questions like this are why you're in the bad books Jimmy: I weren't planning to bend her over a pew, you're alright Jimmy: I can fake  😇 Janis: Can you not be so disgusting please Janis: heavy dose of the good 📔 asap Jimmy: You gonna give me a smack with it? Janis: You'd obvs like it so no Janis: focus, boy Jimmy: 💔 Jimmy: So business like today, you Jimmy: there an actual plan then or what? Janis: Um yes Janis: got your listening 👂s on now? Jimmy: crack on and we'll see Janis: not rocket science, like Janis: just got to come over and not sneak in, actually acknowledge my parents exist for once Janis: no fucker else is here, even Gracie is gone so I'll want to die slightly less Jimmy: I'll bring my homework, ain't started owt yet & there's a art project that you're the perfect muse for Janis: Good thinking Janis: you know, be yourself, they ain't thick but show them that there's definitely no 💀pact going on here Janis: just 🤓💕 Jimmy: I get it, no using our blood as paint Jimmy: 👍 Janis: 💔 Janis: no one more than me, trust Jimmy: I'll 💀💀💀 you first chance I get baby Janis: 🤤🤤🤤 Janis: just get through dinner Janis: what do you like, anyway Jimmy: When? Janis: oh, tonight Janis: if you can? Jimmy: I don't have any white robes, like Jimmy: What else do 😇 wear? Janis: as discussed, burning cross is fine Janis: not to wear just to show your true colours, whitey Janis: 🤔 idk Jimmy: You have to kill me yourself, Jules, the death pact ain't between me, your dad and his shotgun Janis: Not likely Janis: total hippie pacifist loser Janis: gives you an idea of the dresscode but I won't be able to pretend I'm 😍 Janis: can only act so much Jimmy: So 😎 but in yellow or some shit? Jimmy: 👌 Janis: maybe you should ask Mia Janis: queen of fashion Jimmy: Hang on then Janis: 😏 Jimmy: She's typing Janis: edge of my seat Janis: she's so witty Jimmy: #same Jimmy: 👀🍿 Janis: 😂 Janis: must be buzzing Janis: not getting any #content from gracie rn Jimmy: I'm gonna need you to skim read this back to me, I don't do essays in the hols Janis: so chatty, her Janis: RBF would never give it away Jimmy: [sends whatever the hell Mia has] Jimmy: what colour is the new black? Janis: awh, she misses us too Janis: very helpful, basically, ditch the 😎 and your usual is fine Jimmy: 👍 Janis: you actually alright with this, yeah Jimmy: Do you want me to kick off to prove I'm obvs still 😎 and you're alright to still fancy me? Janis: shut up Janis: it's just idk Janis: bit serious Janis: but they will not leave me alone it's ridiculous Jimmy: Don't ask them if I can 💍 you ✔ Jimmy: or 💀💀💀 you ✔✔ Janis: about the gist Janis: dickhead Janis: don't need to like you that much Janis: then you'll never escape 'em either Jimmy: It's nowt I can't handle Jimmy: have had a girlfriend before, like Jimmy: she had parents an' all, even with the northern life expectancy at about 51 Janis: I'm sure they were normal people though Janis: #normalfornorthern Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: Yeah I were just begging them to take me in Jimmy: thing were she was begging her dad's best mate to take her out Janis: 😬 Janis: would've made mealtimes a bit awks Jimmy: It did do when they were playing footsie under the table Jimmy: but he's got them well and truly under now so it all came right in the end Janis: Gross Janis: we've got a similar story but defs one to avoid Janis: touchy subject, literally Jimmy: 🤐 about that on the night, gotcha girl Janis: 👍 Janis: weren't me though, 'fore you ask Jimmy: weren't about to Jimmy: there's some shit I'm better off not knowing, I reckon Janis: not very #goals Janis: meant to be dying to know everything about me Jimmy: then I'd have to return the favour Jimmy: you're alright Janis: my thoughts exactly Jimmy: 💕 Janis: can get back to whatever shit you were up to then Jimmy: ☕🎨 Janis: wouldn't have been impressive if I'd guessed then Janis: good to know Jimmy: least you've got a clue Jimmy: they've got me teaching the new lass Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: trusts you again, at least Janis: gutted though Jimmy: no other dickhead'll do it Jimmy: she nearly melted Pete's beautiful face off Janis: 😱 Janis: why weren't she sacked on the spot Janis: can't be risking their best asset like that Jimmy: She's the manager's goddaughter or some bollocks Janis: shameless nepotism and all Janis: scandal Jimmy: You were right though, no doubt he's my #ultimatewingman Jimmy: me and her, all this steam Janis: nothing as romantic as minor scalds Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: when you've seen a lass' milk frothing technique Janis: mhmm Janis: when that technique leaves half the staff needed to raid the first aid box Jimmy: #livingdangerously Jimmy: 😎🚬 Janis: you're so dumb Jimmy: 💔 ow Jimmy: worst burn of all that were Janis: Not my finest I'm aware but not on the clock Jimmy: what are you doing then, rich girl? Jimmy: if it ain't making fancy food for tonight, I'll be well offended Janis: and take away the only use my father has? Janis: I would never Janis: doing fuck all, if it suits your #poorlittlerichgirl narrative Jimmy: So come here Jimmy: Don't have to be 😇 at the CG Janis: you're busy Jimmy: I'm 💀💀💀 Janis: you're 🎓 Jimmy: Do you want me to survive til tonight or not? Janis: I mean if you died in a tragic steam related accident, they'll just be trying to comfort me so yeah Janis: probs Jimmy: Alright, dickhead Jimmy: I'll let her ⚰👻 me Jimmy: You only had the one job for fuck's sake Jimmy: 👋😘 Janis: Don't be a twat Janis: let her do it and you'll end up a 🥕 Jimmy: What? can't 👂 you being a twat over the sound of my 😱😱😱 Jimmy: it ain't quite death throes but she's getting somewhere Janis: go die quietly Janis: we ain't friends no more and I won't miss you Jimmy: with all them 🎻🎻 playing, how can I? Janis: seriously Jimmy: It's their livelihood this orchestra, the lads take it well seriously Janis: such a windup Jimmy: you Janis: how am I Janis: 🃏 Jimmy: soz, can't come to the phone 'cause I'm 💀💀💀 Jimmy: I'll miss you even though you don't me Janis: stop being so basic and I might Jimmy: bit rude Jimmy: I'm in work and that's my job description near enough in full Janis: and they all 💕 it Jimmy: You jealous? Janis: why would I be Jimmy: that ain't an answer Janis: you're one to talk, boy Jimmy: Why am I? Janis: 'cos you always do that Jimmy: what are you on about, Jennifer? Janis: 🙄 Janis: you, div Janis: always answer questions with a question Jimmy: Bollocks Janis: Er yeah you do Janis: not gonna make it up Jimmy: I answer loads of questions Janis: yeah Janis: sure, I don't ask you loads so Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: ugh Janis: be nice Jimmy: you Janis: I am Janis: you're trying to make me jealous for some reason Jimmy: Why would I do that? Janis: You tell me Jimmy: you tell me, you're the one who reckons I'm doing it Janis: you're the one that keeps chatting about the new girl Jimmy: I ain't said nowt about her Janis: if you hadn't, I wouldn't know she existed Jimmy: if you don't wanna know what I'm up to, say that Janis: you can tell me without taking the piss Jimmy: No I can't, she's that shit Janis: Bummer Jimmy: Are you gonna stop being a dickhead now or what? Janis: Probably not Janis: genetic Janis: and I've got a lifelong streak going so Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: in a bit then Janis: that's rude Janis: don't act like you didn't know Jimmy: had my 🤞 you were faking it, like Jimmy: 💔 Janis: too bad Jimmy: 🎻🎻 Janis: bye Janis: arsehole Jimmy: now that's rude Janis: I got the hint Janis: no need for pleasantries Jimmy: 🥇🧠 you Jimmy: grabbing hints I ain't even putting about Jimmy: no need for you to be in a right mard more like Janis: you've been pretty clear Janis: even without answering questions Janis: forget it,  like Jimmy: clear about what? that I wanna see you, yeah Jimmy: I get that your parents are on your case but I ain't done nowt but said I'll help Janis: no Janis: never mind Janis: I need to get out of this house Jimmy: So come here Jimmy: like I said Janis: I'm clearly in a bad mood, like you said Jimmy: and what? Janis: you don't need that Jimmy: Bollocks Jimmy: I always need you Janis: say it again Jimmy: I need you all the fucking time, alright? Janis: yeah Janis: definitely alright Janis: more than Jimmy: then just Janis: I am Jimmy: Are you? Jimmy: 'cause I Janis: the bus ain't here but yeah Janis: I really wanna see you Janis: know it ain't been any time really but Jimmy: You need to move in with your fit nan, girl Jimmy: living in the middle of nowt ain't working Jimmy: I'll go have a word Janis: you did not hit it off as well as you're reckoning, babe Janis: soz Jimmy: actually 💔 Jimmy: no salt needed for this caramel with all them 😭 of mine Janis: 😏 Janis: know how you feel Janis: being the favourite had its perks, namely that spare room Janis: no more Jimmy: I don't how that feels but being no fuckers fave has its perks an' all Jimmy: namely I don't give a damn if Ian don't want you in my room Janis: come on, you're definitely the boy's fave Janis: not like its Ian Jimmy: It's Grace Jimmy: he's too young to know better obvs Janis: how she likes 'em Janis: where she is atm, so my other sister can swan about being the ultimate rich girl Jimmy: You're gonna have to stay, if only to win our kid round Jimmy: I just ain't having it Janis: tryna pit me against her ain't the best idea to get me to do anything, FYI Janis: but luckily I wanna anyway Jimmy: I ain't saying that, I'm saying do it for me Jimmy: and I'll do owt for you Janis: a lot to promise Jimmy: only if you're asking for a lot off me Janis: d'ya trust me then Jimmy: Should I? Janis: I don't know Janis: probably not, track record would say Jimmy: There a but coming? Janis: I want you to Jimmy: There you are then Janis: I will try Janis: no promises though Jimmy: no need for any Jimmy: got my own track record, going round in my head, talking shit Janis: yeah Janis: s'alright Janis: just promise to 💔 in an interesting, inventive way at least Janis: and I won't cheat on you Jimmy: you'll be a 🥇 muse til the end Jimmy: make it easy that Janis: you're welcome Jimmy: 💕 Janis: won't let on I ain't got a 🖤 to break Jimmy: you mean you can't 'cause it'd be fake Janis: you reckon Jimmy: I've 👂 it in there, babe Janis: must've been your own Janis: long since 💀👑 remember Jimmy: Yours is faster Jimmy: such an athlete you Janis: alright Janis: since you've been cute about it Jimmy: You feeling alright? Janis: ha ha Janis: I can relent, tah Jimmy: I was expecting a challenge Jimmy: ready to take my pulse an' all there I were Janis: anything but actual work with you Jimmy: 😏 Janis: didn't admit it was fast 'cos of you or anything so I still win Jimmy: you didn't deny it were Jimmy: go on Janis: not the point Janis: shh Jimmy: say it then Janis: why Jimmy: you reckon it's true, why not? Janis: because 😳 Janis: is why Jimmy: You're so Jimmy: when you 😳 Janis: are you taking the piss Janis: it's your fault so Jimmy: I'm not Janis: good Janis: don't, like Janis: 'cos I Jimmy: I'm not, like Jimmy: you're just really Jimmy: it Jimmy: 💀💀💀s me Janis: I just want you Janis: a lot Jimmy: it's alright Janis: I'm glad 😏 Jimmy: be 💔 if you weren't Janis: trying to tell you how much I am here Jimmy: go on Janis: I'm no poet Janis: or 🔥 sext writer Janis: but I think about you too much Janis: and I'd rather be with you than doing fuck all else Jimmy: What do you think? Janis: about you? Jimmy: Yeah Janis: Just like Janis: everything Janis: the way you look and sound Janis: when I touch you Janis: how you feel Janis: how it feels when you touch me Jimmy: It feels different with you too Jimmy: than I thought it would Jimmy: and it's been before Jimmy: I get it Janis: yeah Janis: a bit Jimmy: 🤏 Janis: it's different Jimmy: I don't wanna call you a ❄ right now Jimmy: but you are different Jimmy: you make me feel Janis: I ain't ever before Janis: felt, like Jimmy: no 🖤 you, I heard Janis: No I mean Janis: idk Jimmy: go on, I'll still get my head through the door when you get here Jimmy: promise Janis: I ain't had a boyfriend 'cos it was just Janis: nothing Janis: guess they were all just shit, yeah Jimmy: Getting with people you ain't seeing again is a bit Jimmy: the chemistry's there or it ain't Jimmy: you don't really have chance to say owt unless you're the dickhead giving out ratings after Janis: doubt it would've phased him Janis: head bigger than yours Jimmy: that's your type then Janis: shut up Janis: I ain't got a type Jimmy: You just gave yourself away there, girl Janis: I reckon it's a series of unfortunate events Janis: actually Jimmy: 💔🎻💔 Janis: ugh Jimmy: that were for me not you Jimmy: 🥇 boyfriend and still 😭😭 Jimmy: can't win with you Janis: you do Janis: that's the whole point Jimmy: beat out knobhead with a bigger head 🏆💪 Jimmy: get it engraved on the 🏆 Janis: go on then Janis: add the time you gave him mad evils Jimmy: Hang on Jimmy: I've had the pleasure an' all Janis: mhmm Janis: lucky you Jimmy: nowt's coming to mind Jimmy: his head ain't that big after all 💔 for you Janis: you were probably wasted Jimmy: Alright, pisshead, now I know you're taking the piss Janis: wanna admit you weren't Jimmy: you've seen me wasted once, there were scotch and buses involved Jimmy: only the one bellend and I'm related to him Jimmy: OMG is Ian your ex 😱😱😱 Janis: 😂 Janis: yeah Janis: you guessed it, very bitter about it Jimmy: that explains feeling nowt Jimmy: he can't get it up, why he's fuming all the time Janis: that explains that too Janis: sadly not how I remember it so Janis: insulting you'd suggest such a thing Jimmy: keep them memories to yourself, tah Janis: rude Janis: you talk about your ex Jimmy: she's a mum but she ain't yours Janis: pst Janis: it ain't actually Ian Jimmy: sounds like what you'd say if it were, that Jimmy: and no need to list every lad on the back of my 🏆 like Janis: fuck off Jimmy: bit rude Janis: rude you're calling me a slag Jimmy: never said that Jimmy: you said they were all shit Jimmy: that's more than the one you reckon I've met Janis: only the one in brazil Janis: very unlikely you've bumped into him Jimmy: #plottwist Janis: 😱 Jimmy: I'm just trying to say Jimmy: whatever you did before I got here or before we were a real #goals couple Jimmy: you don't need to tell me Jimmy: I'm not gonna make it weird Janis: just say you don't want to Janis: it's fine Jimmy: that's not Janis: Whatever Jimmy: Shut up, no Jimmy: I haven't done owt Janis: then drop it Jimmy: stop fighting with me Jimmy: I like you so much Jimmy: that's all I were trying to get at Janis: well I was just trying to Janis: it don't matter Janis: it's alright Jimmy: I'm sorry, I'll shut up Janis: you don't have to be sorry Jimmy: 🤐 me Janis: but I wanna talk to you Janis: know I'm shit at it Jimmy: I'm the one who keeps putting my foot in it today Janis: nah Janis: you're good Janis: at all of it Jimmy: Bollocks, I'm crap Janis: no you ain't Janis: I'm the one who don't get it Jimmy: what? Janis: 🖤 remember Jimmy: yeah but that was before Jimmy: mine weren't 💕 and 🌹 either Jimmy: we're in this together Janis: I Janis: I'm trying Jimmy: 🥇 you Jimmy: I mean it Janis: tah Jimmy: 💕 Jimmy: we can just Janis: yeah? Jimmy: it's alright with me Jimmy: more than Jimmy: how things are going Janis: good Janis: just tell me Janis: I feel like Janis: starting shit fake just makes it even more confusing Jimmy: Not a top 💡 Jimmy: I get it, alright Jimmy: I weren't expecting owt like this to come from it Jimmy: I weren't gonna let it Janis: yeah, obviously, like Janis: not as if I'm saying you knew from the off or anything Janis: or like if you had just sent me an unsolicited dick pic or something then this would all be so easy Jimmy: obvs that would have worked an' all Jimmy: been ages for me, chatting lasses up though Janis: I get it Janis: when you look like that you don't need to Jimmy: 1. 😳 Jimmy: 2. I didn't wanna Janis: you had other shit Janis: not the be all end all Jimmy: feeling nowt ❌ for me Jimmy: weren't gonna happen Jimmy: unless I 👻⚰ Janis: being dead makes everything easier Jimmy: that's where I fucked up most Jimmy: just makes you fitter and more mysterious Jimmy: don't need to tell you 🧛 girl Janis: you're too nice Janis: have to really commit to being a dead cunt, like Jimmy: 😂 Janis: 💀 serious Janis: even gracie can see it Jimmy: that I'm too nice or that you ain't? Janis: both but latter goes without saying Jimmy: that's what I were thinking Jimmy: but the former is only for tips Janis: alright Jimmy: at least fake believe me, Joanne Janis: not what a cunt would do Jimmy: you're not a cunt to me Jimmy: only a massive dickhead Janis: give me time Jimmy: not for that Janis: 💕 Janis: like I said, I'm trying Jimmy: if you weren't, I wouldn't be Jimmy: like I said, it's never felt like Jimmy: I've not Janis: just like the first time yeah Jimmy: no Jimmy: thank fuck Janis: was your ex your first gf Jimmy: and only Jimmy: til now Janis: really Jimmy: you're surprised? Janis: I'd have guessed at least a couple Jimmy: we were together ages Jimmy: not actually in my 40s Janis: makes sense Jimmy: did at the time, she was a mate first Jimmy: about for everything Jimmy: I didn't have to explain how much of a headcase my dad were Jimmy: or that my mum Janis: s'nice Janis: easy Janis: my idea of hell for me but there's logic to it Jimmy: It weren't though Jimmy: she might've been nice and easy but not to me Jimmy: every other lad in the north Janis: why'd you stay with her for ages then Jimmy: Does it matter? Janis: maybe Jimmy: Why? Janis: 'cos if you're just a glutton for punishment then I should probably go Jimmy: Do you wanna go? Janis: no Janis: but I should if you're just trying to get hurt Jimmy: might've been then Jimmy: that's not this Janis: okay Jimmy: we were just doing what we saw our parents do Jimmy: like maybe if we could make it work it meant they just weren't giving it a decent enough go Jimmy: then I could turn around to them and say crack on Jimmy: fuck it up differently tah Janis: you and everyone else Janis: only reason the species is still going Janis: got to be arrogant enough to reckon you can right all their wrongs Jimmy: I weren't gonna raise a kid she had with her dad's mate to prove owt though Jimmy: so that were the end of that Janis: done better than all the blokes in my fam then Jimmy: 🥇 me, my dear Janis: 🤡 them Jimmy: then my plan were to just crack on with any lasses who were up for it Jimmy: but turns out I weren't Jimmy: 🎻😭💔 Janis: you really couldn't fake it? Janis: taking your oscar back tbh Jimmy: if you don't know by now that I weren't faking nowt with you, take all your own 🏆🏆🏆🏆 back Janis: I Janis: I fucked with it all too Janis: which was annoying because you were such a dickhead Jimmy: Oi Jimmy: you're the dickhead Janis: you were though Janis: even if you've shown your true 😇 ways Jimmy: couldn't have you falling for me, Juliet Jimmy: with every other lass already 😍😍😍 Janis: oh please Janis: you were not concerned about that, mr big ego Jimmy: 😱 Janis: don't act like I gave you any indication I was that bitch Jimmy: you said you were into it, how do you reckon you weren't giving me them? Janis: into it don't = 😍 at you does it Jimmy: Alright 🤤 then Janis: 😏 Janis: didn't deny that idiot Jimmy: would if you could Janis: no I wouldn't Jimmy: just to be awkward you would Janis: 😒 Janis: you want awkward Janis: k Jimmy: I want you Jimmy: I can sort your mood out Janis: bold Jimmy: and true an' all Jimmy: Deny that Janis: just making more work for yourself rn Janis: shh Jimmy: I ain't scared of it, rich girl Jimmy: I'll show you Janis: don't be so Jimmy: what? Janis: everything Janis: distracting Jimmy: you Janis: it's all you Janis: I feel mental Jimmy: keep that between us Jimmy: challenge's been accepted, you gotta give me a chance to win your parents round Janis: all about the heroics of rescuing me Janis: I know Jimmy: Nah, fed up of lasses in distress, me Jimmy: have a go at helping me Jimmy: if and when you fancy it Janis: easy Jimmy: so 💪 you Janis: obvs Janis: and you're so damn helpable Jimmy: you're a bit nice Jimmy: I won't say owt to anyone though Janis: no one would believe you, baby Jimmy: I could prove it but I don't want you to stop Janis: you just Janis: deserve it Jimmy: that your plan now? Jimmy: 💀💀💀 without touching or looking at me Jimmy: just niceness Janis: ain't that the phrase Janis: still need to see you though don't take that from me Jimmy: I dunno can't think of owt else but you Jimmy: being here Janis: I'm not sorry Jimmy: might be when you hear how fast my 💓 is Janis: nah, saving you, remember Janis: you're safe with me, like Jimmy: yeah so shit at this you Jimmy: nowt close to the right words them Janis: I'm trying, you know that Janis: wanna have something right for once Jimmy: Baby Jimmy: you do loads right Janis: maybe Janis: plenty wrong too though Jimmy: sounds and feels fake to me, that Janis: I'm alright with you thinking it is Jimmy: get alright with how 🥇 you are Janis: be alright with how much I like you Jimmy: I am Janis: Good Janis: it'd be really hard to stop now so Jimmy: don't then Janis: tell me you don't want me to Jimmy: [voice memo cos extra and never does any work clearly] Janis: okay Janis: a bit 😍 Janis: maybe Jimmy: 🤏 Janis: that's what I'll tell this bus driver anyway Janis: 👀 to the front Jimmy: oh he wants to see something? hang on Jimmy: [😒 selfie] Jimmy: crack on, dickhead, my missus could walk here faster Janis: 😂 Janis: putting that as my phone background Jimmy: 💕 Jimmy: Give me a new one then Janis: [looking whatever kind of cute she would be tbh] Jimmy: Oi Janis: ? Janis: weren't flipping you off or anything Jimmy: where's my warning? Jimmy: I just dropped a flat white Janis: victimless crime Janis: drink it hard if you're gonna, people Janis: and if that's how you react to a 📸 better meet me outside Jimmy: it's alright, I blamed the new girl Jimmy: send me a video and we might get her the sack Janis: I'll get on it then Jimmy: 👍 Janis: hate her already Jimmy: me too Janis: nice save Jimmy: come on, babe Jimmy: don't like any dickhead but you Janis: 💕 Janis: but see how you excluded Pete and the 👴👵 by saying dickheads so Janis: 💔 Jimmy: I'm only human, soz Jimmy: reminds me though Jimmy: he's got #band drama Jimmy: if you really wanna be a hero 🎤 Janis: 😱 Janis: how's he gonna make it big at this rate Jimmy: with you as the voice and face #duh Janis: you wanna live that groupie fantasy and have the whole band or? Jimmy: 1. I'll be the 📷 Jimmy: 2. just you and him Jimmy: 3. I'll tell him you'll audition then Janis: 1. obvs Janis: 2. double obvs, can't all be the #face Janis: 3. lol no Jimmy: 4. 💔 Janis: you will be when he's 😬 at my voice Jimmy: don't call my bf stupid Jimmy: he knows 🤩🤩🤩 when he sees and hears it Janis: I would never Janis: love him too, thanks Jimmy: #loveyourself too then tah Janis: stop being a dork Jimmy: 😱 Janis: come on, I wanna talk about you, not me Jimmy: I'll 🤐 Janis: you can Janis: it's fun to make you loud Jimmy: how much longer are you gonna be stuck on the bus? Janis: too long Janis: I'm really Jimmy: tell me Janis: I'm just Janis: I need to be alone with you already Jimmy: you should've let me let the new girl melt my face off Jimmy: we could've been alone in the back of an ambulance Janis: famously not, don't let you just piss about back there Janis: and I can get us alone without involving any bimbos Janis: or ruining your beautiful face Jimmy: must give less of a shit up north 'cause I swear I have Jimmy: might've been more out of it than the memory suggests Janis: pisshead Jimmy: so sweet you Janis: soz Jimmy: I get it, it's hard for you being a lightweight Jimmy: especially when I'm so 💪🏆 Janis: far as I remember it, I've looked after you, not the other way 'round Jimmy: leave it out Janis: just saying Jimmy: that was one time Jimmy: and if you wanna get stuck into Ian's supply after a party I'll do it for you Janis: I can look after myself Janis: 💪🏆 Jimmy: me an' all Janis: 'course Jimmy: I can Janis: No, I know Janis: not taking the piss Jimmy: 👍 Janis: I didn't mean to Jimmy: forget about it Janis: but actually Jimmy: I said forget about it Janis: told you I'm shit don't let it ruin it Jimmy: It's not you, is it? Janis: what Jimmy: what that night turned into, me and him Jimmy: you weren't meant to be involved Janis: you don't have to explain that Janis: I really weren't trying to take the piss, I don't reckon it's funny Janis: but none of my business either Jimmy: yeah but that's just it, I do 'cause it weren't a one off Janis: your dad's a cunt Janis: I know that much Jimmy: to me 'cause I Jimmy: just to me like that Janis: I'm glad it's not the kids Janis: really glad Janis: but you know I'm not gonna like Janis: tell Janis: not that I want that for you or anything Janis: but I'm not stupid, I know that wouldn't help fuck all Jimmy: I'd never let him Jimmy: not to them Janis: I know Janis: you look after them really well Jimmy: I couldn't do nowt when it was my mum but she started as much shit as him Jimmy: they were both just Janis: Not what they should be Janis: or where Janis: yeah Jimmy: it kept getting worse Janis: 'then your mum left? Jimmy: it couldn't go on like that Jimmy: something had to change Jimmy: it did Janis: but instead of fixing it's just Janis: a different kind of fucked Jimmy: 'course Janis: That's shit Janis: you deserve not fucked up, not saying I can give you that or anything useful but for the record Jimmy: life is Janis: yeah Janis: got no evidence to the contrary Jimmy: you know when you're a kid and you hid under the blankets, that's still me Jimmy: 😎 or 📷 instead Janis: at least you stay put Janis: braver than running Janis: my speciality then and now Jimmy: 1. where am I gonna go? Back to my mum or my ex ain't options Jimmy: 2. Cass and Bobby need me where they are Janis: 1. anywhere they ain't Janis: 2. that's the problem Jimmy: There's no bravery in nowt I do Jimmy: at least you're doing something Janis: I'd be doing something if I stayed gone Jimmy: Why haven't you? Janis: It's harder than you'd think Janis: There's some things you gotta do that I ain't ready to yet, I guess Janis: it's like killing yourself, yeah Janis: everyone reckons this shits the easy way out, but you blow your brains out or suck dick for a place to stay Janis: you know, just 'cos it's not brave don't mean it ain't hard to give into Jimmy: Yeah Janis: my sister did it Janis: properly Jimmy: she never came back? Janis: in the end Janis: at first she was the same though Janis: worse, she'd always be coming back just to see us and stuff, I don't do that, I just run out of places I can be too Jimmy: You can be with me Janis: You underestimate how little I can be with them Janis: thanks, still though Jimmy: You heard me Jimmy: You can stay Janis: you mean it, don't you Jimmy: I don't want you to leave Janis: I don't want you to either Janis: I don't mean here but Janis: me Jimmy: If I leave this town, I won't leave you Jimmy: he can only make me do the one Janis: Jimmy Janis: I'm glad I met you, even if it's because life is shit and Jimmy: I'm glad too, even if that's the only thing I've got to be glad for Jimmy: and it's closer to Easter Jimmy: and we ain't American Janis: alright shut up Janis: words are your thing, not mine Jimmy: they're a bit your thing Jimmy: I like talking to you Jimmy: and I work in retail so I don't like talking to anyone Janis: means a lot Janis: truly Jimmy: should do Jimmy: ask my ex, never communicate me Janis: that was the problem Janis: not the baby daddy drama Jimmy: she wouldn't have fucked him if I could string together a sentence, obvs Janis: he better be so daddy or what's she doing Janis: not that she asked me to judge her life and choices but here I am Jimmy: he's not Jimmy: but at least she never went for Ian Jimmy: as step mums go, not my top pick Janis: not as hot a concept as porn would have you believe, like Jimmy: he likes his missus a bit older, give him that Janis: got to have something going for him Janis: not enough but you know Jimmy: you'd fucking have to be legal drinking age for a date with him an' all Jimmy: imagine the #bants Jimmy: a few under the table snakebites ain't cutting through that Janis: 🤢 Janis: I refuse to think about a first date scenario altogether, nevermind an @iantaylor8 first date Jimmy: Fuck me, you've never done one Jimmy: right Jimmy: I'm taking you Jimmy: and we ain't leaving before every cliche is ✔ Janis: 😂 if only you'd known this when it was #sofakesoextra Jimmy: I know you better now Jimmy: you're gonna hate this, baby Janis: 🤤 Janis: that's what does it for me Jimmy: no 🤤 on the 1st date Janis: bit of 😋 then? Jimmy: we'll see Janis: playing it 😎 Janis: very apt Jimmy: can you do tomorrow? Janis: Why not Janis: if you're the perfect 😇 tonight Janis: free as a bird Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: Alright, I'll pick you up at 8 Janis: is that all the info I get? Jimmy: from my own door 'cause you're staying Janis: that makes me Jimmy: 😱😱😱 WHAT ARE YOU GONNA WEAR THOUGH Jimmy: I don't have a date outfit for you here Jimmy: oh no Janis: 🤞 Grace has gone 👻 'cos that was frightening Jimmy: where does your sister live? might need Grace's suitcase Janis: don't take the piss Jimmy: this is serious omg Janis: if you don't stop Jimmy: BABE Jimmy: how are you not freaking out? Jimmy: it's our 1st date Janis: I hate you Janis: #triggering me Jimmy: I'm soz Janis: felt that Janis: 🖕 Jimmy: baby, I'm so sorry Janis: well you should hide 'cos finally off that fucking bus Jimmy: You said I'm safe with you Jimmy: can't make me unsafe now Janis: let's see if I can stay mad at you, boy Jimmy: Challenge accepted, girl Janis: don't bring your new mate Jimmy: who? Janis: 👍 Jimmy: 😘 Janis: [comes at him] Jimmy: [outside or inside?] Janis: [a point lmao, let you decide where he is, she ain't gonna have much chill either way] Jimmy: [lets say he was waiting outside so he don't get sacked cos likewise] Janis: [let 'em have a moment] Jimmy: [a really extra moment cos emotions are running high] Janis: [truly, so much revealed] Jimmy: [it makes me die, what's it been days? weeks? boy ain't gonna have no secrets left] Janis: [when you just wanna talk] Jimmy: [she ain't the samaritans calm down please] Janis: [we know she wanna too it fine] Jimmy: [oooh can we say his shift is over so they can go shopping for date clothes and be cute nerds] Janis: [um yes] Jimmy: [yaaas just imagine she's expecting him to go back in and he does but to get his jacket like surprise] Janis: [so confusion but then #onboard for the #bants of it all] Jimmy: [not even telling her where they are going just like follow me lol don't get lost bab but then it's obvs] Janis: [when you get to just have fun for once, also changing room shenanigans are always the one] Janis: [and can actually get a 🔥 lewk] Jimmy: [literally if you don't get kicked out of at least one changing room for saucy behaviour and another shop for a playfight who are you tbh] Janis: [truly, remember you got a date with her 'rents tonight though, gotta try on some 'good boy' clothes (but ain't no one tryna make you buy them fr)] Jimmy: [just do it for the lols boy] Janis: [get on the bus to hell lads] Jimmy: [see how many old ladies you can offend] Janis: [heheheh gotta try and get it out of your system if you've gotta be good, obvs] Jimmy: [there's your excuse not that you need one] Janis: [truly, we all know you're doing the bare minimum later lol] Jimmy: [she should teach him more signing though cos cute] Janis: [a parent pleaser for sure, should also take a selfie with cali 'cos loling imagining it and then the relevant peeps, grace and mia tbh, can see] Jimmy: [omg yes mia would be fuming cos cali ain't here for her bye] Janis: [said as if she's graces' gf and they're being shady lmao] Jimmy: [thank god we didn't go that far] Janis: [no one needs that in their life] Jimmy: [especially Grace, I'm mean enough] Jimmy: [there should be a bus photoshoot cos he'd have his camera for homework and imagine how annoying] Janis: [big tut energy] Jimmy: [exactly then you can make out til they tut themselves to death] Janis: [soz you're bitter and can't remember being young and in love ladies] Jimmy: [one of them should say something judgey in irish cos always a thing that they think young peeps don't speak it] Janis: [when you usually pretend you can't speak it but you can and you say something sassy back] Jimmy: ? Janis: she's just asking for your number Janis: but I told her to back off soz Jimmy: 💔 Jimmy: but lipstick on dentures is my top turn on Jimmy: fuck's sake babe Janis: you can 🤞 she's on the bus back 'cos won't be joining you with that attitude Jimmy: [😏] Jimmy: if you loved me you'd accommodate my kinks Jimmy: and ask to borrow her 💄 Janis: [turns away from him dramatically, but does actually ask, let us assume the lady is a moody hoe and is like no bitch though] Jimmy: [gives her a look like well? even though he knows the answer] Janis: [shrugs] Janis: your girlfriends a real bitch Jimmy: I am seducing someone else right in front of her Jimmy: what kind of dickhead Janis: then she's no third if she's gonna get all jealous Janis: have to stick with Pete Janis: what a shame, bye Doris Jimmy: 💔👵🎻👋 Janis: if you loved me you'd text him Jimmy: [does] Jimmy: you've got an audition next week Jimmy: 👍 Janis: [just looking at him like bitch you better not lmao] Jimmy: [shows her the text loling cos obvs he has not it'd just be a work question or whatever] Janis: [shoves him but is too loling] Janis: he's the one auditioning tah Janis: don't put it like that though, don't sound very nice Jimmy: [when you're 😏 but inside you're 😒] Janis: [just laying your head on his shoulder 'cos truly the longest bus ride] Jimmy: [playing with her hair as per because can never stop yourself] Janis: soz Jimmy: why? Janis: making you do this Janis: defs an IOU Jimmy: [shrugs and snuggles her more] Janis: you'll get it when it's happening Janis: [shrugs back] Jimmy: gotta start my homework some time Janis: what you gotta do Jimmy: 📷 and 🎨 you Janis: your teacher is gonna be sick of my face Jimmy: needs to give us less bollocks prompts then Jimmy: you're what interests me Janis: 😏 Janis: [but really 😳] Jimmy: and what's more significant than an IRL Romeo and Juliet obvs Jimmy: she should give me more marks for the nod to english coursework Janis: sure she will Jimmy: [another shrug but wrapping his arms around her then] Janis: ['you're good' in his ear from the snug] Jimmy: [when you're too white to 😳 and it not be obvs so you have to kiss her for distraction like close your eyes rn thanks] Janis: [not gonna say no, avert your gaze bus grandmas] Jimmy: [also stop the ILY curse for a bit so] Janis: [least they'll only take up one seat now instead of two 'cos defs getting on his lap, welcome everyone lol] Jimmy: [imagine taking that seat though oh hey] Janis: [just like 'scuse me thirdwheeling these teens] Jimmy: [it's a bad idea on many levels not least how turned on they are gonna be by the time they get to cali's but that's why I won't stop them lol] Janis: [have fun dealing with that or not] Jimmy: [mhmm] Janis: ['maybe we just stay on the bus'] Jimmy: [we all know whatever he wants to say it's just gonna be a shameless sound like always] Janis: [😏 'not a no' and kissing him harder like she cares about being quiet sure] Jimmy: [being extra as if to say do you want me to say no I don't think so] Janis: [just smiling into that kiss] Jimmy: [pausing to breathe and 😍 at her casually] Janis: [covering his eyes with her hands like don't look at me like that] Jimmy: [just loling] Janis: [pouting and hiding on his chest] Jimmy: [pouty lip kiss thing strikes again] Janis: stop being cute Jimmy: ['you' saying it out loud for the eye contact] Janis: [makes a noise 'cos don't know what else to do #overwhelmed] Jimmy: [kissing her neck but really soft cos lovebites aren't 😇] Janis: ['you're really gonna-'] Jimmy: ['what?' in her ear when he's kissed his way there] Janis: [shakes her head like nope, can't talk now bye] Jimmy: [doing whatever he can to make her say something/make a sound obvs keep looking away bus peeps] Janis: [saying 'shit!' just a bit too loud for these nosy ladies] Jimmy: they're gonna smack you with a shopping bag Janis: and when I get arrested for granny bashing, it'll be entirely your fault Jimmy: 😇 me Janis: no Janis: definitely not Janis: I think you just broke like, 4 seperate laws Jimmy: only 4? 💔 Jimmy: how many more stops is it? Janis: not a challenge, babe Janis: [looking out the window like ?! then 😒] Jimmy: could be if you come here Janis: ['we've already missed our stop so' collecting all their shit like] Jimmy: ['we had better just stay on here then' but helping] Janis: [just bitching like why didn't the driver say, I get off at the same stop everyday etc etc] Jimmy: [probably keep your mouth shut boy especially about how she wanted him to mind his business when she was on her way to you] Janis: [getting off this bus in a disgrace/huff] Jimmy: [🚬 guys you won't have chance when you get there] Janis: [try not to die in all the ways] Jimmy: [I'm loling cos he's carrying a plant] Janis: [lmao oh the effort to get left alone so you can get into more trouble again god bless] Jimmy: [just doing smoke rings like pay attention to me] Janis: [such a grumpy face] Jimmy: [putting the plant down so he can pick her up for a sec like don't be sad] Janis: ['I don't even wanna go and now we're gonna be late'] Jimmy: ['fashionably though' because remember all those lewks they tried on good times] Janis: [🙄 'you're not helpful' and picking up the plant like let's ride] Jimmy: [pouty face but on you go] Janis: [just smoke 'til you calm down a bit, babe, showing she is by slowing her pace so she's not running off] Jimmy: [nobody wants to do this its fine, bet Cali aren't buzzing at the prospect rn either] Janis: [probably not if they think he's some crackhead who tells her to steal cars lmao rude leave ur judgment at the door] Jimmy: [exactly] Janis: 💕 Janis: soz Jimmy: [holds his hand out like hold it please] Janis: [does] Jimmy: [swings it as they are walking] Janis: [😏 but more 😍 than smug 'always in babysitter mode, you' and nudges him gently] Jimmy: ['keep that between us, tah' cos he's not tryna babysit Gus or Diego lol or any of the cats] Janis: [mimes 🤐 'none of us are little enough, you're safe'] Jimmy: [shrugs cos Cass isn't either but hey ho] Janis: ['more feral than the cats, like, you'd miss yours so fast'] Jimmy: ['might do the dog' hilarious Jimothy we all know you don't hate Twix] Janis: [shakes head 'you play so hard to get'] Jimmy: [gives her a LOOK 'but I don't have to, since we're already late' pulls her into him using their linked hands, don't squash the plant boy] Janis: [a LOOK right back but close up 'cos now you are 'not meant to be being cool, remember'] Jimmy: [just staring at her really saucily like well then you'll have to do it for me] Janis: [looking at his lips like #distracted 'can't kick the habit, like'] Jimmy: [#same on both counts 'me either' just leaning in so much without actually kissing her] Janis: [making a noise of frustration like come on 'we could always be more fashionable'] Jimmy: [looking her up and down 'you couldn't be more... and back up to her face 'you're so...'] Janis: [taking his hands and putting 'em where he was looking] Jimmy: [finally kissing her so intensely because you're the most alone you've been all day] Janis: [make the most of how middle of nowhere it is for once] Jimmy: [a mood and a moment] Janis: [breaking off sporadically to tell him how hot he is, how much you want him etc etc, everything but ILY] Jimmy: [we all know we aren't getting actual words out of him rn except her name sometimes so pop off sis] Janis: [oh you two] Jimmy: [what a day and you're not even there yet] Janis: [lmao, thank god you're just going over for dinner, not like out out 'cos you're getting later by the minute here] Jimmy: [not to mention what you're gonna end up looking like after this] Janis: [her hair always be looking wild 'cos of you boy, such a giveaway] Jimmy: [that scalding tea there boo] Janis: [how to stop you, always fun lololololololol] Jimmy: [lets be nice and not haha just be late af] Janis: [you saucy onion] Jimmy: [it's been a minute since the changing rooms and yolo] Janis: [only 15 once henny] Jimmy: [only felt like this once too so they deserve it] Janis: [the lurve is so real truly she does not know what to do] Jimmy: [god bless] Janis: [how did we do the ily last time] Jimmy: [basically she got drunk and said it cos it was when he challenged her to outdrink him but he didn't say it back then cos couldn't and she was like don't forget I said it though but then he said it as they were falling asleep that night] Janis: [we've done so much] Jimmy: [hence we did to decide if we're keeping any of it cos rn none of that's happened] Jimmy: [*need] Janis: [it's all still here at least we can mix and match whatever we wanna baby] Jimmy: [yep] Janis: [for now, finish ya business and get gone] Jimmy: [honestly hurry up] Janis: [that's not what she said] Jimmy: [oh boo you funny fish] Janis: [hheeheheh but get ready for the awks lads] Jimmy: [oh lord he doesn't know what he's getting into here] Janis: [when you hate your parents, being so fake nice tonight henny] Jimmy: [cali will be shook] Janis: 👍 Jimmy: you alright? Janis: take the compliment Janis: doing well Jimmy: 🥇 us Janis: just like old times Janis: all this acting Jimmy: just like old times Jimmy: you talking bollocks Janis: charming Janis: its called conversation Janis: my wit is sparkling Jimmy: is it? Janis: you x2 ing that or gonna specify Jimmy: you heard Jimmy: and that weren't an answer Janis: yes to both, obviously Janis: why are you being rude Janis: just 'cos you can't to them? Jimmy: I'm not Janis: doubting my wit is rude Janis: tah Jimmy: show me it then Janis: Jimothy! Janis: shocked AND appalled Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: that's not the one, babe Jimmy: Jamie got closer Janis: Don't remind me Janis: miss him Jimmy: 💔 Jimmy: ouch Jimmy: after everything I did for you out there in the middle of nowt Janis: really Janis: you're gonna remind me of that right now Jimmy: you should miss me Janis: I can't miss you more than I already do Jimmy: challenge accepted, Juliet Janis: [looking at him over the table like what you gon' do] Janis: ? Jimmy: [eye contact ftw] Jimmy: 😇 me Jimmy: [but under the table he's being a 😈] Janis: I hate you so much Janis: [when you're suddenly so focused on your meal like nothing to see here] Jimmy: how much? Janis: [shifts down in her seat/closer to what he's doing like 'that much'] Jimmy: [goes harder because of course] Janis: You're so Jimmy: go on Jimmy: I'm what? Janis: you're really really Jimmy: [stops like tell me] Janis: [imagine the grumpy face, cali like ?] Janis: hey Jimmy: ? Janis: now I really don't like you Jimmy: [just eating like 😏] Janis: [footsie like pay attention to me] Jimmy: [a look because he can't resist and we know it] Janis: [going from 😒 to 😏] Jimmy: [when Cali are talking to you and you have to pretend you're listening, thank god for all that practice he's had at customer service Janis: [lmao that fake smile taking you so far rn] Jimmy: [also v proud of him for eating whatever the food is because lbr its not gonna be what he's used to] Janis: [right, she would've told caleb not to do anything weird af but still] Jimmy: [and he hasn't thrown anything at her which is his fave thing to do] Janis: [imagine] Janis: so Janis: what's your verdict Jimmy: needs 🍅 sauce, obvs Janis: 😂 Janis: meant my parents, but if you hate 'em, start there Janis: he'll 😢 Jimmy: they're alright Janis: 🤔 Jimmy: I dunno Jimmy: weird but I'm used to you, like Jimmy: weirdest girl about Janis: piss off Janis: nothing like either of 'em Jimmy: never said you were Janis: better not Jimmy: come on Jimmy: that northern, not that thick Janis: didn't say you were Janis: you just like being mean to me Jimmy: don't sound like me, that Janis: must be thinking of Jamie then Janis: which one are you again? Jimmy: I were gonna say we can still be mates then 💔 Jimmy: there's my answer Janis: ah Janis: my good pal Jim Janis: I remember Jimmy: 👍 Janis: [squeezing his hand] Jimmy: [draws a heart on her with his fingertip because he always used to do that and I've not] Janis: [when that makes you 😳 more than anything else] Jimmy: [writes 'you' in it cos close to ily as we can get rn] Janis: [when you have to excuse yourself for a hot sec] Jimmy: [when you're like oh shit shouldn't have done that cos you think you scared her away] Janis: won't leave you with them too long Janis: brb actually Jimmy: 👌 Janis: 💔 it'd be too 😈 and obvious for you to come find me rn Jimmy: I could fake choking to 💀💀💀 Jimmy: or 🤢🤢🤢 Janis: you're so committed to your role Janis: it's impressive Janis: but I want more time than that'd give us so Janis: [coming back don't be gone forever] Jimmy: [just staring at her shamelessly soz the in-laws] Janis: [sitting next to him instead of opposite 'cos an abudance of chairs to choose from deal lads] Jimmy: [kiss her cheek cos that's 😇] Janis: [is 😊 but whispers 'I miss you' whilst she's there] Jimmy: [tucking a strand of hair behind her ear like just being helpful and 😇 don't mind me] Janis: [so 😍 hurry this meal along tah bring out the dessert lol] Jimmy: [oh and does the thing where you pull the chair in to get her close to the table but also pulling her chair closer to his at the same time] Janis: [issa must, as close to sitting on him without actually] Jimmy: [and just like I'll casually leave my hand on your leg what a coincidence] Janis: [makes a 😋 noise like she's really enjoying this dessert but we all know] Jimmy: [is clock watching hardcore like when can we leave lol] Janis: [least you can just do the bare minimum here, hang in there kids] Jimmy: I miss you too Janis: you can show me Janis: when I'm showing you how grateful I am Jimmy: [just biting your lip like this is fine yep] Janis: [😏 then signing something at Diego who is presumably there chilling] Jimmy: ? Janis: [cue cali asking him about his art homework 'cos she was asking if they can use the space/his lights and shit] Janis: escape plan activated Jimmy: now I really like you Janis: show me that too Janis: not just a 🥇 muse tah Jimmy: or a 🥇 face Jimmy: 🧠🏆 you Janis: careful Janis: my head might not fit through the door Jimmy: I'll carry you through 👰 style Jimmy: about to ask if I can 💍 you obvs Janis: you don't reckon that's 😈 nah Janis: not the 40s up in here Jimmy: what can be more 😇 than the sanctity of them vows before god 🙏💕 Jimmy: when in 🍀 do as the paddys do Janis: you're really turning me off here Janis: 😏 Janis: god can watch but he don't need to get involved Jimmy: [does something to turn her on like am I though] Jimmy: found our 3rd then 🙌🎊 Janis: he was in our 💕 all along Janis: and please tell them we need to go now Jimmy: [does like oh we have to get started because we can't miss our bus home/get back too late etc] Janis: [does the thing where you make glasses with your fingers to 🤓 at him as they're walk/running out] Jimmy: [nudges her like oi] Janis: [kisses him so hard when they're barely out of sight like wait] Jimmy: [doing that walking but still kissing thing but kissing so hard that they just knock into a wall/door casually so obvs just gonna push her up against it and kiss for a bit] Janis: [lmao Pablo needs to walk past bye] Jimmy: [10000% yes] Jimmy: [wasn't even there for dinner but appears right then haha] Janis: [this fam comes and goes as they please no consideration lol] Jimmy: [true facts poor Caleb food is his love language Pablo how dare you] Janis: [also you're his chef child, probs out spending all your money doing who knows what] Jimmy: [those debts don't just appear overnight so yeah] Janis: [fun and games honey] Jimmy: [this fam 💔 me] Janis: [honestly, like way to prove everyone right guys] Jimmy: [fuming about it as if we didn't do this lol] Janis: [at least you two are enjoying yourself rn] Jimmy: [speaking of is there anything else we wanna do here?] Janis: [we probably know the vibe, see if we can find HW pics]

[punkscowardschampions]

Rio & Indie

Rio: Are you sitting comfortably? Rio: Because I have POTENTIAL GOOD NEWS FOR ONCE Indie: im cotched baby ✌✌ come thru Indie: whats good? Rio: I found a place Rio: well, Buster did but 'low letting him get all the credit Rio: The lady just rang and said I can go see it at 4 Indie: IS IT??? omf dats so sick Indie: who did mckenna have to mesh like? Indie: bring me w i can leave school rn Rio: Yeah, I know right Rio: Jammy sod but we're well in with a chance as long as it's not like, nothing like the pics Rio: it's a bit outta the 24 but still only a bus ride in so Rio: [Sends said pics] What you think girl?! Indie: hes gon be flexin for days b ready for that 😂😏😂 Indie: bitch we movin up Indie: that place is bare hectic Indie: like a real madness Indie: 😍😍😍😍💖💖👑👑 Rio: 😏 Nothing out the ordinary then Rio: Yeah? I really like it too Rio: I'll swing by, say you've got dentist, whatever Rio: One of the rooms got an en-suite and everything like, no queues for the bathroom what Indie: this got me some type of way Indie: im hyped Indie: they gon let me keep 🐶 w us tho?? Rio: It didn't say nah so we're keeping it quiet but not not bringing him obvs Rio: keep up his training it ain't gonna be an issue, like Indie: BITCH WHAT IS THIS FEELIN Indie: tryna recognise it Indie: buzzin Rio: 🙌🙌🙌 Rio: I got a good feeling about it, it's near St Stephen's green like so Bomber can have walks and not have to worry about glass and shit everywhere Indie: bout to happy cry all up in this lesso Indie: n Indie: i can take my younger w too Rio: I love you babe Rio: it's gon' be so much better and Drew ain't got no claims or no key this time Rio: exactly, Ro be way more hyped letting her in these ends Indie: how this real?? it feels jokes Indie: heads are 👀ing me & i aint care Indie: ya girl havin some emotions step off it Rio: That's what I kept saying man Rio: like such an idiot like what, is this real life, nah, not me 😂 Rio: serious, they ain't know we living the good life, gotta go Indie: ITS HOW YOUR MANS BE LIVIN 💸💸💸 Indie: imma lips him Indie: soz bout it Rio: 😂 I'll let you live, you highkey in your emotions Rio: 'bout him though Rio: you're okay if he wanna live there too, when he comes for Uni? Rio: He doesn't have to, not like they don't have a house, not that far away, like Indie: babe you kno i aint tryna borrow your garms big love but like daddy delivers in all them ways and aint none of us vexiin Indie: he gotta respect my 🐶 mans but if they bros then yeah Rio: Yeah? Rio: Good Rio: we can do it on our own regardless but it'll be easier if he twos it Rio: and obvs, I want him there, ew 😜 Indie: imagine if you be like nah mckenna pay dem bills & dont be comin round 😂😂😂 Indie: its chill fr he aint no wasteman i be tryna avoid Indie: he havin his daddy moment Rio: Ain't tryna be that kinda daddy like soz taking away all dem perks Rio: Rude 😂 Rio: He loves you too, babe Indie: ri we all been knew what kinda wifey you gon b 😂😏😏😂 Indie: he comes for my gaming shit he getting merked tho keep that discipline fo yoself in your bed Rio: Hush child 🤐😏 Rio: Double hush, I don't even know if he 'bout that life so you safe Rio: though challenge him at ur own risk I ain't being part of that 🙄 Indie: thats how it gon b i 👀 Indie: i got a serious q but i aint tryna bring the mood ⬇ Rio: Seen not heard, with you? Doubt that 😉 Rio: go for it Indie: drew cant stop me innit Indie: like for real Rio: I don't see how, like Rio: who's he going to to 'fight' for you Rio: where's his case for us not looking after you/him ever doing it Indie: ✌✌✌✌✌ Indie: he probs not even gon show but Indie: he always coming to take me from home wen i was lil u kno Rio: I know baby Rio: but he never could keep you Rio: and lbr you gonna be actual grown soon, he really ain't got a leg to stand on, I promise, even if he comes through chattin' Indie: i love you Indie: more than Rio: I love you too, it's gonna be so legit, promise Rio: all the shit we liked from our old, but better too Indie: true man we did the most but that yard was clapped Indie: it was a time & imma miss it but this b a better one Indie: a fucking extra hype era or some shit Rio: 👑 Rio: that's the vibe Rio: can bring the 24 realness with without the bullshit, yeah Indie: innit tho Indie: lowkey repin for all my years but Indie: bitch im 🔥🔥⬆⬆ Rio: We should celebrate 'fore we go Rio: also you need diff garms 'cos not showing up with you in uniform like I'm your single muvva Rio: giving the game away shh Indie: lets break into our former & give it the send off it shoulda had Indie: ruuuude Indie: you is my ma deal w that Indie: still sexy w it so Rio: nah shadier to let him keep it Rio: welcome for the glo up boy Rio: 💋 i'll take it Indie: 😂😂😂😂 Indie: im only vexed cos he aint had my baby sis there but you kno he bringin them other young girls back how he do Indie: waste Rio: 😬 Rio: too real Rio: too gross Rio: does anyone know if he's tried to talk to ro or they have orrrr Rio: like what's going on fr Indie: she blockin hardcore Indie: she dont want him near but from what i 👀 & 👂 he aint tryna reach anyway Rio: 😒 Rio: even if he did just to say i know u don't want me here but if u do Rio: bare minimum Rio: whatever Rio: their drama, not ours Rio: we gettin' good Indie: fr if he aint tryna see her i is Indie: she got real fam Indie: & me too Indie: we all good Rio: mhmm Rio: him doing his part on him Rio: we all doing ours Rio: she's cute then, yeah? Indie: o you aint seen Indie: my bad Indie: u wanna? Rio: nah not yet, like it weren't explicitly stated but Rio: we know she don't want me near either Indie: i got you Indie: ill bring her to you mama Indie: my girls can meet Rio: Are you sure? Rio: idk if she letting her out of her sight like that yet Indie: its chill man Indie: if step ma be startin i got the other to back me Rio: We'll sort that Saturday yeah Rio: can't be giving her the cribs exclusive or the estate agent will be coming at me with catchment areas fr Indie: 😂😂😂 Indie: boo how we celebratin Indie: mckenna aint here thats dry Indie: boy earned his place Rio: I know 😕 Rio: we go out and do it again when he is Rio: we keep it lowkey for now, get some food 'forehand 'cos know you ravenous Rio: then if we fucking with it we can get something extra that we gon' need Indie: truuuuuuu Indie: yeah girl this is beast Indie: im so about it Rio: It's a new block so if we get it we can be in there like, straight away Rio: no one has to move out, it ain't trashed Rio: 😍 Indie: safe Indie: can i roll out the school gates now cos ☁ 9 mood Indie: floating like Rio: I'm omw to pick you but lemme call 'em and you can roll out and meet me somewhere else 'cos I'm still like 15mins away Indie: 😍😍😍😍 Indie: I'll be boardin & 🚬 catch me wen Rio: 👍 Indie: here i be thinkin my day was bare decent cos a lad chirpsin me in the science lab Indie: naaaaaah bitch Rio: Ooh Rio: 'bout it tho Rio: made School worth attending Indie: innit he just rolled up Indie: new boy vibes Rio: 😍 Rio: literally never happened when i was here so rude Rio: known everyone from day 1, blessin' n curse Rio: gimme deets as they come in tho Indie: ikr but its bare long in the year to be criss and showin face 1st time Indie: suspect Rio: wys Rio: he a 30 spy pretending to be a kid orr Indie: idk Indie: but if he a fed he looking fresh on it Rio: 😂 Rio: Mystery, love that Rio: only one way to find out Indie: but like Indie: can i? Rio: Why not? Indie: u kno Rio: Yeah Rio: Take everything at your pace, however that be Rio: this is just chatting we talking about, you good Indie: yeah i can trust innit Indie: bills is right not all lads be like Rio: yeah, if he get it twisted off a convo then he the thirsty cringe one Rio: give it a shot Indie: he so lush lookin tho 😍😍😍 i been knew i said this afore but actual Indie: 👼🏿 Rio: so 'bout that Rio: defs why you wanted to bounce tho Rio: not want me 👀 like the nosy ma I is 😉 Indie: nah dont want him spying you cos you 🔥😍👑 Rio: 😏 gas up your old woman Rio: never gon' say no Indie: you kno its the mood of the century Indie: mckenna beggin for you still Rio: Hope so Rio: need that rent boy Indie: can always shot the 💍 baby Indie: 💎💎💸💸💸💸 Rio: 😭 Rio: Baby no Indie: jam babe i got jokes Indie: we playin Rio: I can't Rio: if he bounce I gonna just wear it forever Rio: awkward for him, soz Indie: 😂😂😂 Indie: he too cuffed to run now Rio: Thanks Ann Summer Indie: i aint never been there Indie: soz bout it Indie: sure she a real one Rio: it's a bit retro these days but you know Rio: not missing much babe Indie: 👌👌 Indie: all lube & lace yeah? Rio: 😂 in a word Indie: no catch me rollin up then i aint need none Rio: okay babe Rio: lemme know if you need anything though, I got you Indie: you wild Indie: what you think i need ma? Rio: well idk Rio: not gonna give you ideas you ain't have but s'a whole world beyond ann and her rabbit Indie: 😂😂😂 Indie: you always tryna get me riding batteries Rio: i am not 😂 make me sound like such a wrongen Rio: tryna make sure u know what u want Indie: we been knew i dont Indie: going for those wronguns myself Rio: gotta explore babygirl Indie: 😒🤔 Rio: Not now, like Rio: we busy bitches Indie: catch me on the street bein indecent hold up Rio: 😏 behave Rio: got mark on your name as is Indie: what you sayin bout Rio: that police always after you without that madness Indie: keepin things fresh for the jakes and the rollers least Indie: they welcome Rio: miss me with that underage bait gurl 😏 Indie: 👌👌👌👌 Indie: 👵 Rio: 😡 cheeky bitch Indie: 💋 Indie: big love baby Rio: I see u Rio: get in 'fore I give you a love tap, like Indie: keep it peaceful Indie: ✌✌ Rio: 💋

[punkscowardschampions]

Rio & Buster

Rio: Nance is successfully flirting rn, you'd be so proud Buster: If it was 'cause of me, yeah, but nah know-it-all strikes again, like Rio: 😒 Rio: We're a team, bitch Buster: I'm just playing Buster: Calm down Rio: Hmm Rio: You play too much Buster: What's that meant to mean? Rio: I'm just joking too, duh Rio: Entertain me 'fore I have to thirdwheel this Buster: I reckoned you'd easily entertain yourself Buster: Hence my lack of invite Rio: Babe Rio: You really wanted to come to the gay club? Buster: I really wanted to be with you Buster: You just happen to be there Rio: You know I always wanna be with you Rio: but this was booked in, you should do something fun too Buster: 😒 Rio: Don't be grumpy with me baby Rio: Who am I coming Home to? Buster: I know Buster: It's not your fault I have nothing to do Rio: Sure between us we can think of something Buster: Yeah? Rio: 'Course Rio: know-it-all, babe Rio: don't act like you forgot Rio: What do you wanna do, do you wanna go out do you wanna stay in, do you wanna be with people do you wanna be alone Rio: What's the vibe Buster: I wanna go out too Buster: It ain't right that my sister is but I ain't Rio: Yeah, got you trippin' Rio: are you thinking food or a bar or a club or something else altogether Buster: I don't care Rio: I'm looking Buster: You really must be not feeling that club Rio: I'm not here for me, like Rio: obviously I've been on the floor being gaybait but you know, I missed you Buster: Good to know Rio: Jealousy need not extend that far Rio: in fact, can be dropped altogether 'cos I've just thought of the place and I bet you ain't been Buster: I'm being everywhere worth going so don't get your hopes up, babe Rio: Stop being difficult and start getting ready, boy Rio: [Directions] Buster: Fine Buster: Do you wanna tell me what to wear as well as what to do or nah? Rio: Yeah, if you're offering Buster: Go on then Rio: So much harder to mentally dress you than undress Rio: Give me some options Buster: Where's the fun in that? Buster: You're supposed to know everything Rio: It's gonna be like that, is it? Rio: Alright, test me Rio: [Pic she has of him] This top Rio: [Other] but with these trousers Buster: You sure? Rio: You wanna look good or not? Yes I'm sure Buster: [Sends selfie after probably ages faffing because well he's him] Rio: There's my baby Rio: Perfect Buster: You're cute Rio: Nah all you Buster: I miss you even more now Buster: Stop being nice to me Rio: I can't help but be nice to you Rio: you're very likeable Buster: 😂 Buster: How drunk are you? Rio: Not at all Rio: don't worry, I won't spread your secret loveliness around Buster: Pick your audience like Buster: I know my sister ain't trying to hear that tonight Rio: I'll find a random gay to tell how good my boyfriend is Rio: won't be obnoxious at all Buster: 'Course not Rio: Baby Buster: Yeah? Rio: Never mind, it's stupid Rio: we can talk about it when you're a few more drinks in, like Buster: Tell me Buster: It's alright Rio: It's just Rio: do you think Edie will hate me forever Buster: Nah Buster: She don't hate you now, not really Buster: You're just the easy scapegoat, you know Buster: It's shit but it's what she needs Rio: Maybe Buster: Come on Buster: Nothing's as simple as just hating someone, yeah? Rio: I wish it was Buster: It's good that it ain't though Rio: Good for who? Rio: Not her Buster: For you Buster: But when she sorts her head out, her too Rio: If only THAT was simple Buster: Yeah Buster: It ain't gonna be like this forever though Buster: Not to be that cunt but look at us Buster: Look at where and how we are Rio: We're alright, aren't we? Buster: Better than that, babe Rio: We're not fuck ups? Buster: We've fucked up plenty of times but nah Rio: Okay Rio: I love you Buster: Trust me Buster: I love you Buster: And this ain't a mistake Rio: I do Buster: Have a drink, dance, and turn that knowing brain off, yeah? Buster: It's gonna be alright Rio: Promise Rio: You too, I wanted to make your night better Rio: not fuck it before you got going Buster: You always make my night better Buster: Like you said, who are you coming home to Rio: You baby Rio: Even if we have to be respectfully quiet Rio: boo Buster: We don't have to be anything close to quiet, babe Buster: You know what my sister is like when she gets going Buster: She'll get wasted and we'll do whatever we want Rio: Maybe she'll be preoccupied herself Rio: the night is young Buster: Don't Rio: What? Rio: You know why people come to the club, babe Buster: 😒 Buster: That's my sister, I don't wanna hear it Rio: You're adorable Rio: she's heard enough of your exploits in her time, she probably weren't buzzin' either, boy Buster: Not from me she ain't Rio: Please Rio: You loved a brag Buster: Fuck off Rio: Easy Buster: Whatever Rio: 😞 Buster: Stop sulking you're meant to be having fun Rio: Love me I want attention Buster: 😂 Rio: 😒 Rio: Rude Buster: Babe Buster: You're just funny Rio: I just know how to ask for what I want, you meant to say Rio: 😏 Buster: Alright Buster: Start over Rio: Hm? Buster: Ask me again and I'll react how you want Rio: Oh Rio: Love me Buster: [Sends a kissy face selfie because he's a nerd] Rio: 😋😍 Rio: that's better Rio: thank you baby Buster: I love you Rio: You're the cutest Rio: and I love you mostest Rio: they just played 4 ABBA songs in a row Rio: 4 Buster: Sorry I'm a moody cunt Buster: It's just weird having Nance here Buster: Well, I was gonna ask how shit was going but there's my answer, like Rio: I know it is Rio: It's reassuring to know she doesn't hate you though, yeah? Buster: No more than standard you mean Buster: But yeah Rio: You're doing good, baby Rio: I'm proud of you Rio: and I think she's having a pretty good time Buster: Good Buster: I'm gonna have a drink and calm down myself now Rio: Sounds like a plan Buster: I wish you were here though Rio: I know you don't like sharing Rio: hard when your wifey's the life and soul, babe Buster: Never call yourself that again Buster: You sound like Indie Rio: Awkward Buster: Exactly Rio: Now she might actually hate me Rio: that one Buster: I don't reckon she hates you either Rio: I'll bet you Buster: How much? Rio: Moneys boring Rio: think of something more fun Buster: Name a fantasy, I'll do it for you if I win Buster: You do mine if I win Rio: Interesting Rio: I like it Buster: Are we on or nah? Rio: 'Course Rio: I can't lose Buster: Shut up Buster: You know I always win Rio: Nah babe Rio: Sorry but you're going to look so good taking that L, hope that's consolation Buster: Whatever you say, babe Rio: I'm just th Rio: inking what I want you to do most Buster: Same Rio: Don't get too attached to the idea Buster: Says you Rio: 🥊 Rio: You'll see Buster: I know you will 🥇 Buster: I've got this Rio: 😡 Buster: Behave Buster: Don't be a sore loser already Rio: Doesn't take a know-it-all to work out your fantasy would leave me sore Buster: 😏 Rio: Pervert Buster: You love it Rio: Yeah Buster: Tell me about yours Rio: Not giving you spoilers Rio: you don't get time to prepare Buster: Fine Rio: Hey, it's my fantasy not yours Buster: I'm just trying to find out what we won't be doing Rio: I don't wanna turn you on in public Rio: I'm not that kind of girl Buster: 'Course not Rio: I am mad though Buster: Why? Rio: Because everyone's getting off with each other and I'm just sat here and you're there Rio: and it's stupid Buster: Is that your way of telling me that my sister is hooking up with someone right now? Rio: I didn't say anything Rio: You don't wanna know Buster: But she is Rio: Shh Rio: don't tell her I said Buster: If I can't take the piss there's no point her even being here, like Rio: 😩 Buster Buster: What? Rio: Ugh Rio: you didn't hear it from me okay Buster: Behave Buster: I'm not gonna sell you out, babe Rio: I think she's alright looking Rio: not sat here staring, like Rio: but from my sneaky peeks Buster: If she ain't in her 40s its an improvement, yeah? Rio: Behave Buster: Come on Buster: Don't act like you haven't thought it Rio: I'm thinking if she's had kids she's looking well for it Buster: 😂 Rio: i'm getting another drink Buster: Good Buster: You gotta keep up Rio: Excuse you Rio: Miles ahead, boy Buster: You reckon? Rio: Are you kidding me Rio: I've lost track of all the free drinks I've been getting Buster: Nicely done Buster: Get the brag in Rio: 🤷 Rio: Everyone's fave Buster: You don't have to tell me Rio: Any excuse to talk to you Buster: Babe Buster: You know you don't need one Rio: Remember when we did though Rio: Remember, like it was ages ago Rio: feels it Buster: Yeah Buster: Lets never go back Rio: Sure? Rio: Now's your chance, like, already told me the engagements off Buster: When did I say that? Rio: You said I couldn't call myself wifey Rio: was joking on both, obviously Buster: Only 'cause it's cringe not 'cause I don't want you to be Rio: It's chill, babe, I know what's up Buster: What do you know? Rio: That you didn't really mean it Rio: it was just a heat of the moment deal, I get it Buster: Is that why you said yes? Rio: I don't know Buster: Yeah you do Buster: It either is or isn't the reason Rio: This is so humiliating Rio: I mean Rio: no, it obviously isn't the only reason is it but Buster: But what? Rio: Like I said, I get that it wasn't like binding Rio: I'm not holding you to it Buster: You don't get it, clearly Rio: What Buster: You never wanna hold me to anything I say if you don't wanna hear it Rio: Nah Rio: That's not what I'm saying Buster: That's what I'm saying Buster: When was the last time I said something I didn't mean? Rio: I just didn't want it to be a repeat of the 'I love you' situation Rio: but if it's not then, I'm sorry, like Buster: Forget it Rio: Obviously not Buster: Whatever then Rio: Don't be like that Rio: I feel really fucking stupid now Buster: You feel stupid? I'm the one that said it Rio: Yeah and I said that and now you think I don't mean what I said before Buster: Well you don't so Buster: Cheers for telling me, like Rio: Don't tell me what I do or don't mean Buster: You literally said that you didn't Rio: I did not Buster: Fuck's sake Buster: I'm not drunk enough for this Rio: I said I thought you didn't mean it, that's not the same Buster: Like I said, forget it Rio: For God's sake Buster: Don't Rio: Well you know I'm not going to forget so stop saying it Rio: but if you don't want to talk right now I can't make you Buster: I can say whatever the fuck I want Buster: I don't want to talk right now 'cause you'll just reckon I don't mean any of it Rio: Mature Buster: Sorry I'm not 42 I'm sure it's not too late for Nance to give you some pointers on that score though so Rio: My point exactly Buster: If you're making a point, make a fucking point, like Buster: All your doing is giving me a headache Rio: My point is, you've not thought this through Buster: Fuck you Buster: You're not in my head even if you're trying to get under my skin right now Rio: I can't win Rio: Jesus Buster: It's not a fucking game, that's why Rio: I mean, if I'd just stuck with it, that'd probably be wrong Rio: I try to do the right thing and that's wrong too Buster: How is not believing what I say the right thing? Buster: You either know how much I love you or you don't Buster: And you either wanna marry me or you don't Rio: Well I wasn't exactly expecting it Rio: And it ain't that simple, ever, is it Buster: Yeah it is Rio: Just on this then? Rio: 'cos how do you expect me to keep track when you swap sides like this Buster: What is that meant to mean? Rio: You said that it ain't that simple, about Edie and Indie and all of that Rio: why is this different Buster: 'Cause its not like I was like we're going to Vegas right now, pack a bag Rio: Yeah well, good Rio: even so you probably want to give yourself more time than you have Buster: No I don't Buster: But you take it Rio: I'm just saying Rio: this is your first time, like Buster: Do you wanna be more patronizing? Buster: Go on, I reckon you can go harder at it Rio: This is just what everyone else would say Rio: I'd be shit if I didn't Buster: I already told you that I don't care Buster: You said you didn't either Buster: But whatever Rio: You can't not care at all Buster: Why can't I? Rio: Because it's impossible Buster: Try me Rio: Right Buster: Right Rio: Is there anything I can say or should I just go? Buster: Do what you want Rio: Doesn't answer my question but alright Buster: 'Cause I can't tell you what to say Buster: Or do Rio: I'm not asking you to, I'm asking if there's any point in me trying right now Buster: Well there's no point giving up ever, is there? Buster: Who are we? Rio: Okay Rio: Maybe you're right, should we just forget this ever happened Buster: I don't know Rio: Can you? Buster: I don't know Rio: I wasn't trying to be a dick, I was just trying to do the right thing for you Rio: but that's up to you, I know Buster: Yeah Rio: I'm really sorry Buster: Just come home, yeah? Buster: I will too Rio: Yeah Rio: I'll see if I can convince Nancy Buster: She's got enough hair to pull her by Rio: I really ain't out here tryna brawl Buster: How drunk is she? You might not have to Rio: Fairly but not like, call out the fam, stalk your ex levels Buster: Well, that's something Rio: I thought so Buster: If you need help my cab can swing by you and we can share it back Rio: That'd be good Rio: thanks Buster: No need to thank me Buster: Purely selfish 'cause the sooner we can make Nance leave the sooner we can Rio: Did you like the bar? Buster: Yeah Buster: We should go back Rio: I knew you would Rio: I'm down Buster: Just me and you though Rio: Of course Buster: I'm sorry that tonight's been a shitshow Rio: That ain't your fault Rio: nothing that can't be fixed, yeah? Buster: 'Course Buster: I'm taking the blame though Rio: No you ain't Rio: Literally how can you, good luck Buster: 'Cause my shit mood started it Rio: Nah Rio: but I don't care if we can be friends again Buster: As long as you don't want to only be friends Buster: 'Cause that's going a bit far Rio: Don't be silly Buster: Not trying to have a sleepover with my sister, like Buster: That's all I'm saying Rio: Me either Rio: but I think your family would be a little put out to find me on the sofa so Rio: glad we're on the same page Buster: Babe, you know I'd take the sofa Buster: But yeah Rio: You can't be being a gentleman even when we're fighting Buster: It ain't even it's just not being a worse cunt Buster: And not having my mum fight me as well Rio: You've been raised too right for that clearly Rio: You're not even close to being that cunt, trust Buster: You're shamelessly biased Buster: But cheers Rio: Nah Rio: not to start pitting you against 'em but I've dated many actual so Rio: I know Buster: Yeah Buster: Fucked but true Rio: It is what it is Buster: I hate it though Rio: I know Rio: but that shit's well in the past Buster: I know Rio: I think Ryan's moved on, like Buster: Good Buster: I don't have to find the cunt on my doorstep Rio: I'd question if he was ever that devoted but don't need to jinx it Buster: Yeah, like speaking of forgetting something Rio: It's weird Rio: not having to think about that anymore Rio: or think about drew or think about hiding us Buster: The only way is up, literally Buster: Not to get a non-Abba song stuck in your head but Rio: You're funny Buster: I'm hilarious Buster: And I miss you Rio: You're on your way aren't you Buster: Never fast enough Rio: that's what she said Buster: Now who's funny Buster: Coming for my 👑 again, babe Rio: What can I say? Rio: I want you outta all of that Rio: 👑 included Buster: So that's why you picked all the clothes you picked, is it? Buster: It makes so much sense now Rio: 😏 Rio: and you looked good Rio: as if i need any incentive to want you Buster: Could've been wearing a corset but the girlfriend has spoken and she ain't got time for that Buster: You looked fucking hot, wasted on that club and anywhere I'm not Rio: Adding that to potential fantasy list now Buster: 😂😏 Rio: Only got yourself to blame for giving me ideas Buster: No blame or shame Buster: I'd look great Rio: I know 🤤 Rio: Stop distracting me Buster: Fine I'll save it for the cab ride home Buster: I can see Nance but I can't see you Buster: Tiny angel problems Rio: Have you forgotten you invited her along for the ride or what Rio: and how dare you suggest I get lost in the crowd Buster: Come and kiss me if you can reach my beautiful face Rio: You're an idiot Rio: a tall, handsome idiot Buster: Fuck, you look so beautiful Rio: There we go, not too painful Rio: though she did smack her head on the way in Buster: 😂 Buster: She can blame tomorrow's headache on that, like Rio: Yeah, bet she was wishing she was short too now 😏 Buster: Then she'd look even more like mum Buster: I don't know if that's the goal or nah Rio: Probably not hers but I wouldn't be mad Buster: I would Rio: 😂 Rio: Unlikely you gotta worry about that Buster: Good Buster: Do I chat this much shit when I'm drunk or is it just her? Rio: Sure, when you're drunk 😉 Rio: Nah, you don't though Rio: she just saves up her words, like Buster: Literally Buster: Shut up, Nance Rio: You don't need to listen, the cabbie's feeling it Buster: Distract me Rio: You're meant to be distracting me, remember Buster: Am I? Rio: So you said Rio: but knew you was all chat, it's cool Buster: Shut up Buster: When have I ever been all chat? Rio: 😏 Rio: Just hoping you'll prove me wrong babe Buster: Come here Buster: You're so far from me, like Rio: How far can I really be Rio: but okay Buster: That's better Rio: Is it? Rio: What about that? Buster: I'm not mad about it Buster: So you can't be if I do this Rio: I wouldn't call it mad Rio: Frustrated, maybe Buster: Poor baby Buster: Does that help? Rio: mm Buster: Use your words Rio: I can't Rio: for two reasons now Buster: Some kind of sound is gonna come out, I know you, so what would you rather, babe? Rio: Please don't stop Buster: I won't Rio: I swear I'll be quiet Buster: We'll see Rio: I've needed this all night Buster: I know Buster: I'm here now, babe Rio: I don't like going out without you Buster: Me either Buster: Especially when you go out looking this good Rio: Yeah? Buster: Yeah Buster: You're so hot, don't you know that? Rio: I didn't even try tonight though Buster: Come on Buster: You don't have to Rio: I'm glad you think so Buster: Well now I can't stop until you agree with me Rio: Baby Buster: Tell me how hot you are Rio: 😶 Buster: If that's how you want it Buster: Guess I'll have to make you Buster: Like this Rio: Okay okay Rio: I'm hot Rio: but you're hotter Buster: I see through your shameless flattery but I like it Rio: It's true Buster: Nah Buster: You're fucking stunning, like Rio: Shh Buster: You're the one whose meant to be being quiet Buster: Not me Rio: I don't wanna talk right now Buster: I know exactly what you want Rio: Then stop teasing me Rio: I can't take much more Buster: Say please Rio: Buster Buster: Go on Rio: I swear I'm gonna make you pay when we get home Buster: Promises, promises, babe Buster: I still wanna hear it while you're still able, like Rio: Fuck Rio: I can't fight it, you know how you got me Rio: Please please please Buster: Good girl Buster: Okay Buster: Now you've earned this Rio: Oh God Rio: put your fingers in my mouth Rio: I'm gonna scream Buster: Jesus Rio: I can't help it Rio: just please don't stop whatever you do Buster: Kiss me Buster: You can moan as loud as you want then Rio: Can we Buster: If she hasn't noticed anything else we're doing I think we're fine Rio: Yeah Rio: it's just so fucking hard to stop kissing you once I've started Buster: Then don't Buster: I can fight with her about it tomorrow if needs be Rio: Fuck it Rio: I need you as close as I can get you Buster: Yeah Rio: I love you Buster: I love you too, Rio Rio: Don't forget Buster: Never gonna happen Rio: Good Buster: Fuck me Buster: How do you keep doing this to me Rio: 'Cos I know you Rio: I know exactly what makes you tick Buster: I want you so bad right now Buster: I can't handle it Rio: I know Rio: I can feel it Rio: Not far now Buster: Touch me Rio: Is that what you want, daddy? Buster: I need you to Rio: How do you want me to touch you Rio: Where Rio: You gotta be more specific Buster: [Takes her hand and puts it where he wants 'cause what are words, am I right? Lol these shameless hoes] Rio: Oh Rio: so you don't have to use your words Buster: Is that what you need, babe? Buster: There's plenty of things I can whisper to you if you want Rio: You know what your voice does to me but this is about you Buster: It can be about both of us Rio: Pleasing you is what gets me off Rio: You know that Rio: let me make you happy Buster: Oh fuck Rio: Better? Buster: As long as you don't stop Rio: When I've only just started? Rio: Who do you take me for Buster: There are a fair few other distractions in this cab Buster: I'm not saying it'd be your fault Rio: Rude Rio: There are nicer ways to tell me to try harder but understood Buster: Baby Buster: I'm saying you're doing so good that I might get us caught Buster: Especially if you're gonna go any harder Rio: Fine Rio: I'll be good Buster: I know you will Buster: You are Rio: Tell me Buster: Christ, Rio Buster: You're so fucking good Rio: Only for you baby Buster: We have to stop, I can't be quiet anymore Buster: I can't Rio: Okay Rio: Mean it this time, well Rio: I don't wanna but I will Buster: I don't want to either Buster: Tell me we don't have to Rio: We do Rio: 'cos I wanna hear you Buster: How far from home are we? Buster: I can barely think Buster: 'Cause I wanna be inside you Rio: Like five minutes, I think Rio: five too long now Buster: You mean Nance's running commentary ain't making the time fly for you, babe? 😂 Buster: What is she even chatting about now, like? Rio: 😏 Not quite Rio: Idk, but this is lowkey better than the flirting she was doing earlier so Rio: success or failure? not sure Buster: You make me laugh Buster: Someone must have liked it though Buster: Or maybe just her face? Rio: Awh babe, that's nice Buster: We share genetics, It's impossible for her to be ugly Buster: Simple as Rio: 🙄 Rio: So close Buster: You know it's true Buster: I'm not gonna have an ugly twin Rio: I'm not saying it isn't but you know, she's not reading this Rio: you can just be nice 😂 Buster: Well right now I only wanna be nice to you Buster: Sorry, like Rio: Not gonna complain Buster: Good Buster: Me either. I'm done being a moody cunt for the evening Buster: You'll be glad to know Rio: I'm still sorry Buster: Don't be Buster: I mean it Rio: But I do too Rio: you know that, yeah Buster: 'Course I do Buster: But like, I don't want it to be that way, I only said what I said 'cause of how much I wanna be with you Buster: Not to cause a rift or whatever Buster: And I only said it was simple 'cause for me it is, not I ain't a confused kid, you know Buster: Not like they are Rio: It won't Rio: cause a rift Rio: I know now Rio: I just had to make sure so then I can know where I stand Buster: And where's that? Rio: Well, I wanna stay with you too Rio: Obviously Buster: For forever though? Rio: Yes Buster: Then literally what were we fighting about? Rio: I did try to say Buster: I'm so sorry Rio: Shh Rio: It doesn't matter now Buster: I love you so much Buster: Seriously Rio: I know Rio: and I love you just as much Buster: Sorry Nance but I have to kiss you again Buster: Even if we are nearly home Rio: She can deal on this one Buster: Yeah 'cause I won't be able to deal if I don't Buster: So fuck it Rio: We kept it practically PG-13 back here Buster: And we kept it secret long enough Buster: [smooches and somehow that's the most dramatic PDA of all 'cause they highkey and Nance spies it 'cause typical] Rio: Oops Rio: 😳 Buster: I'm not sorry Buster: I ain't said anything about her club hook up Buster: Yet, like Rio: God at least give her 'til morning 😂 Buster: Obviously Buster: More fun that way Rio: I'm having nothing to do with it Rio: I just wanna get outta this cab without a fine Buster: Easy Buster: We're basically home anyway Rio: Easy if you watch your mouth, boy Buster: I'm gonna give her time to get properly mortified, hence waiting until the AM and sobriety Buster: Don't worry Buster: Not a fucking amateur Rio: I hope she's proud af just to fuck with you now Buster: 😂 Buster: You did say the girl was cute, yeah? So could be Rio: Not my type but yeah Rio: not like, pull her away sharpish at any rate Buster: One day I'm gonna make you tell me what your type of girl is Rio: 😏 Buster: But come on, let's finally get the fuck inside Rio: Thank God

[punkscowardschampions]

Ali & Tess

Ali: Ro just left Ali: She said she was going Home so keep a watchful eye out please Tess: What about you? Ali: I've got obs every hour, I'm good Ali: Reckon we'll be fit for discharge tomorrow morning Tess: I don't like you being there on your own all night Ali: I'm fine, there's a wardful, party central like Ali: You gotta look after the others Ali: Might need to commandeer the big room until Singapore Ali: I'll think of a way to make bunking in with Tom worthwhile for Rock and him Tess: You know what I mean, kiddo Tess: The others are fine and your da's sorting out the rooms as we speak Tess: No worries Ali: Good Ali: Good stuff Ali: I'm sorry Mum Tess: I know you are Tess: He's the one that needs to be. More than you Ali: Wasn't exactly part of his master plan, I'm sure Ali: we know its all on me, you were right before Ali: I was being selfish and chicken shit and not only did it mess up Ro like you said Ali: but it really fucked me over too Ali: Boo hoo Tess: He doesn't have one, it's half his trouble Tess: I didn't wanna be right Tess: Rarely do in truth Tess: I've got Ro, you watch out for yourself and the little bab Tess: We can switch whenever Ali: I don't know about that, clearly I've fucked something up royally for him Ali: I should've known better, been better Ali: It wasn't meant to happen Ali: what kind of life is she going to have Ali: and the others too Tess: He did that himself. You didn't get pregnant on your own Tess: You did know better that's why you made him put something on the end of it Tess: And you will be better too, 'cause that girl needs you to be Tess: She's got a family that loves her, she could do worse Tess: They all could Ali: We used protection Ali: why has this happened, mum? its not fucking fair Ali: yeah but she has someone who resents her existence too and i can't stop it Ali: and what if rio and junie lose caleb and all that family for good Ali: because of me and this stupid mistake Tess: I know, baby but life ain't never been fair to none of us. All we can do is try and balance up it up so the shitty end of the stick isn't the heaviest Tess: You can do that Tess: As for the others, say what you want about Caleb, and I have, but he loves the bones of them kids Tess: He won't leave them even if he leaves you Ali: Yeah Ali: You're right Ali: Again Ali: Take it whilst you can 'cos I won't be saying it once I'm out this hormonal state Tess: I've got a while yet then Tess: But yeah Ali: I just feel like the worst person in the world Ali: not only for what I did and what I didn't say Ali: but because, as much as I love her with everything I have Ali: I still can't help but regret her...being her, being his Ali: Don't tell anyone but I thought you might understand because of Ronnie Tess: You ain't though, you're not even the first person to make this mistake Tess: I won't tell anyone because I do understand Tess: Love can be enough, more than, but when it isn't, fucking hell Tess: Not a regret I wanted for you. Or me. Like Ali: I know but Ali: it feels wrong to even call it a mistake, like I'm putting that on her when Drew's already throwing enough negative energy her way Ali: I don't want her to feel it, any of it, ever Ali: but it WAS a mistake...and IS, I can't change it Ali: even with love Ali: how am I ever going to sit there and act like she was planned and wanted and that I loved Drew when I didn't Ali: at least you loved Ronnie's Dad Tess: I was a kid Tess: I didn't know what love was Tess: Not until her Tess: Don't lie to her. You don't need to be as blunt as that about it 'course but don't give him credit he isn't due, she won't thank you for it Tess: You can't change things for yourself but you can change how it'll be for her, make plans about and for her Tess: Tell her you love her and she's wanted, 'cause when you look back on this later, whatever happens, as long as you keep her you won't wanna change it for the world, none of the good memories Tess: Give her them Ali: But I'm just a kid too Ali: and I really love him, Mum Ali: I know Ali: its going to be so hard Tess: I know, and I'm not trying to make you grow up faster than you already are but it was different for me Tess: I didn't use protection 'cause nobody told me about it Tess: I wanted a family 'cause I didn't have one, no love, not proper like Tess: I had my head in the clouds and up my own arse Tess: You have so much more about you, Ali Tess: Not only the IQ Tess: And he's different too, whatever brush I tried to tar him with, he ain't Ronnie's da Tess: It'll be hard and you'll do it anyway, both of you, whatever happens Ali: That makes sense Ali: It wasn't all your fault either Ali: you know that, right? Ali: Thanks Ali: Got to, I know that, of course Ali: I just feel like all I've been doing is apologising and rightly so but I'm dying here too Tess: Yeah it was Tess: I wasn't young enough to pull that shit of not owning none of it Tess: There's a lot of shit I could've done different, should've too Tess: Let yourself feel it. You're not gonna get nothing else done 'til you do and when Caleb shows his face, which he will, you need to be ready for it Ali: Yeah but not all of it Ali: You gave me the talk, like, can't put you on my shit list like your Dad Ali: I don't know how I'm going to tell him Ali: but I did manage to tell Ro so, I know I can Ali: but fuck Tess: Yeah and you heard me, that time, you used protection Tess: That'd be the least of what my da is on my shit list for but whatever Tess: It'll just happen, same as this Tess: You can handle it and he'll have to Ali: Well no but if we're keeping score..lol Ali: He shouldn't have to though Ali: She shouldn't have Ali: ugh its so fucked Tess: None of you should have to but you are Tess: If I could take it on instead I would Ali: Gotta get my big girl pants on Ali: not that I wanna have any material touching down there yet Ali: gonna nick a few of these fashionable backless numbers Tess: Take what you can get, my love Tess: How'd the little 'un find it, not too stressy, yeah? Ali: Yeah, she's sound, hilariously Ali: No drama of that variety, unlike the last time Tess: Have a few more and they'll be falling out Ali: Probably not, eh? Ali: Shame Ali: Fancied breaking your record Tess: Don't even joke Tess: I've only got so many hands, ta Tess: And a doting nan rep to keep up Ali: I'm not Ali: that's the real tragedy, never mind you stocking up on bribe sweeties Tess: There's still a load of time Tess: You're not 20 yet Ali: Not if I'm about to be dumped Ali: I don't want them with anyone else like Tess: You don't know what'll happen Tess: Look at me, didn't expect to meet your da and have you lot Tess: And you can't speak for Caleb 'til he's had a word himself Ali: Yeah but Ali: c'mon Ma Ali: think we both know what's gonna happen Ali: Can hardly blame him either Tess: We've both been wrong before Ali: Never! Tess: Whatever you say Tess: Ain't gonna kneecap you rn Ali: Much obliged Ali: but seriously Ali: I'll leave you to toddler wrangling Rio now Ali: hahahaha Tess: Your son's the one Tess: He misses ya Tess: Fussy bugger Ali: Bless him Ali: Be Home soon Ali: swear I'm not milking being waited on hand n foot like Tess: If you didn't you wouldn't have a home to come back to Tess: Casually disowned for being a tit Ali: Ha Ali: Odlly not in the mood, got things to do Ali: You can tell the others as much as you see fit Ali: I'll fill 'em all in when I see them Tess: Fair enough Tess: See you tomorrow like Tess: Look after yourself you pair Ali: Will do Ali: not gonna ditch your precious grandbaby and dash like Ali: TTFN

[punkscowardschampions]

Edie & Diego

Edie: Aygo! I got a pitch, you buying? Diego: give me more to go on Edie: oh yea, you too young to know how it usually goes on casting couches, my bad lil homie Edie: you got any super 8 atm? Diego: Can get some Diego: a day or two? Edie: what u gotta clear ur schedule big man Edie: u on ur business boi respect Edie: well, i think we could do most of it in a day buuuuuuut i gotta secure a car to trash and i haven't convinced iggy he don't need that fuckin' hippie van so that'll be another day as and when, ye? Diego: I can give you that Diego: on your own with the car situ Edie: ye ye ye i won't get u in the shit Edie: what kinda big sister would i be?! Edie: but, similar vein, don't tell mum and dad where we shooting okay Edie: you'll be safe with me but they'd never sign off on it ya feel Diego: understood Diego: where we going? Edie: don't u like surprises? 😜 Diego: hard no Diego: get a car that goes so we can store the equipment before killing it I'd like that Edie: What about ones you can't hear, better or worse? cos I've got some fireworks that might be cool Edie: you don't like surprises but you wanna DIE Edie: boi i can't drive! Edie: I'll see if I can get someone to take us but if not, hitch ur wagon to my pushbike Edie: just like old times n'awwh Diego: I'll steer you do the pedals Diego: fireworks smell bad but I won't do fart jokes if you want the colours Edie: if we find a motor that runs Edie: know there's one that the O'Dwyer lads left under that dodgy underpass Edie: but I say we got only so long 'fore that's completely fucked/burned out Edie: time's a wasting boyo Diego: Can be ready day after tomorrow if you are Edie: not a cult classic but how you rate it? jake's usually a fittie but he's pretty dorky in that Diego: the special effects were bomb for the era Diego: I can give you the same commercial success with my skills Edie: dope 💎 Edie: i'll storyboard lowkey for u but i'm happy for it to be mostly in the moment real shit Edie: u can use editing magic after if ur so inclined lil dude Diego: send me the song Diego: I'll get a feel Edie: hoe u best hop on my soundcloud rn Edie: gimme them listens Edie: EDieM as you clearly forgot 😤 Edie: newest track on there Diego: I remembered how to sign it, giving you that promo to my friends, but yeah Diego: confusion Diego: you're you're name sign to me Edie: 🙌 ayo, jokes aside about being a musician with a load of deaf fans Edie: always amping that bass up so should be feeling it literal Diego: capitalise Diego: nobody else is Diego: take the silent disco concept and make it fresh Edie: 💸💸💸 Edie: i'm into it Edie: fuck the mainstream, making music for the kids at places like ur school n mine n all the other's who a lil fucked up Diego: Put that into your storyboard Edie: 😏 Edie: mightbebreakingintomyschool Edie: itseasyandriskfreedoneitbefore Edie: hey, d'ya reckon we could get our hands on some hearing aids and shit Edie: not about to suggest we break into your school, more to nick=not worth it Diego: Old people's home? Edie: yassss Edie: shame our grandparents are young as shit and we love 'em enough not to do it to 'em Edie: i'll give 'em a free performance, they'd LOVE that Diego: ma has my baby stuff kept cos she loves me real deeply Diego: won't be enough but its a start Edie: 🙄 lowkey a hoarder Edie: imma make billie n her go round all the antique shops, keep an eye out for those real old school ear trumpets Edie: that'd be sick Diego: my teacher has one of those! ill ask if we can borrow it Diego: he loves showing it around Edie: 👏 i've got a vision so hard now Edie: u can ask if any of ur friends wanna be in it but we'll have to do that 'round here Edie: look like pied piper paedo taking too many of yous away on a jolly Edie: esp. with a 🎥 in tow Edie: lord help me Diego: I'll do seamless cuts Diego: there's a girl that NEEDS to be in it Edie: I see how it is Edie: ur REAL muse Edie: better not be too cute, stealing my shine Edie: i'm the ⭐ remember Diego: Understood Diego: She's a good singer if you do need backup Diego: [Sends her soundcloud] Edie: oooooookuuurrr lil mama Edie: i see u Edie: if she's down then we can make it happen sure Edie: get you your boo thang 😍 Diego: I'll ask Diego: don't out me Edie: gon' get all shy? Edie: use your director swag Edie: just don't get #metoo wid it, Tarantino, alright? Diego: She's shy Diego: and with that voice Edie: or playing it Edie: best be chill then lil one Diego: You think she's faking coy? Edie: meh, might be too young to know how Edie: but that's what girls do Diego: do you? Edie: i'm not telling u all my signature moves! Edie: depends Edie: lots of lads don't like it if a girl is funnier, more mouthy and opinionated than they are, if that's what you're after, then sure Edie: some boys want that at the start, so they can 'tame' you and have that on their ego, so you end up pretending later Edie: but you'll get it as you grow Diego: Everyone's thinking too hard Diego: I just like her, she's nice and funny and talented Edie: you sweet sweet child Edie: don't ever grow up k Edie: once u hit 10, 11, you'll be a right dickhead Edie: always happens, the girls usually a bit before 'cos we're always ahead of yous Diego: Are not! Diego: and I'll be sick when I'm older you mean Edie: are so! Edie: we'll see Edie: not in my experience but prove me wrong Diego: I'll be the first Diego: Be ready Edie: 😂 believe it when i see it Edie: guess Junie isn't so bad but that's 'cos he's gay Edie: its different Diego: He's not? Edie: oh yeah shh Edie: keep that under your hat Edie: deal with that one later Diego: more importantly Diego: half the school want to be in this Diego: they're telling me Edie: ✋ hahaha yes brotha Edie: can do so much more with a full cast Edie: i'll make sure its fun, even if they can't come for the illegal bits Edie: love these kids, so hype 😂 Diego: im loving the song Diego: Feeling it Edie: forreal? Edie: u can be brutal, my ego can take it 😉 Diego: don't need Diego: it's bomb Edie: knew u was my fave Edie: feel free to rub it in w the others Diego: They'll state me a liar Diego: but you're on to something with these beats and you need to be told Edie: i got ya back Edie: i'll start bein a real cunt to 'em sharpish, like Edie: no room for doubt lmao Edie: gotta when u gassin' me up so hard Diego: ulterior motives Diego: can I use some of the footage for school Diego: If it turns out it's one less essay Edie: 'course you can Edie: its probably not all gon' be sfw, don't need the 'rents saying i got u in shit as prev. mentioned, but the salvageable shots, go for your life Diego: I'll do extra editing don't want you in the same trouble Diego: I'm trying to film what we do much as the whole fam'll stand it Diego: personal project Edie: Fair 'nuff, fill your boots Edie: I ain't camera shy Edie: And Rio and Gracie can't pretend they are either Edie: always pouting looking like braindead fish 😂 Diego: Got a mountain of footage of them already Diego: Only been doing a few days sly Diego: I want Billie's vibe but I can't catch her Diego: Iggy same Edie: Shoulda known 😂 Edie: yeah good luck with the rest, either too busy for the fam or moody lil fuckers Edie: take ya pick Edie: self included usually obvs but you know, wanna do this music thing proper so Edie: got 🍀 kid Diego: arrgh Diego: facts Diego: I'll keep at it Diego: maybe I'll strike it with them Edie: get gus to round 'em up Edie: hard to say no to Diego: Now that's an idea Diego: Bound to work Edie: i'd pay for that energy Edie: i do 😂 Diego: hahahah Diego: put a price on it Edie: if i could bottle what he has i'd be laughing Edie: don't give a shit what nobody thinks man, what a cool kid Diego: his piss bottles itself some of the time Diego: you're there Edie: ya nastys Edie: secured a ride Edie: ur equip is welcome Edie: but i gotta go now, favour fo' favour Diego: I'm in too then Diego: don't do anything I wouldn't Edie: 👌 Edie: like i said, don't grow up Edie: need that childlike wonder for my vision Edie: catch you on the flipside mofo Diego: not in my plans Diego: enjoy yours