#weird brain day

[cinnabread]

Gimme one of those boyfriends that'll rub my back when I'm sad and tell me everything's okay and then help make everything okay

[jedi-bird]

Weird memory night.

Growing up, I learned pretty quickly to hate my body.

There was nothing about it that I liked. My curly hair? I wanted it to be straight. My mom used to force me to wear curlers to sleep in. Hard, stabby plastic that cut my scalp and pulled out my hair because she curled it too tight. They weren't even to try and make it straight. She wanted me to have perfect Shirley Temple curls, not the frizzy, hobbit-like ones that I have. I kept it long for years just to not have to see it curly. Now I'm okay with it, but it took most of my life to get there.

My body? I still can't look at it, not in the shower or the mirror or while getting dressed. I developed early and "generously", as one of my mom's friends said. At ten, I was already getting cat-called and inappropriate comments thrown at me. A friend's mom said that I would make many men very happy as I got older. My neighbor's kids would try to look in my bedroom window every day; I nailed blackout curtains to the window frame because it was the only thing I knew how to do. At twelve, while having to get fitted for a bra because mine were already too small, my mom told me that I was going to look like a whore. I'm still not comfortable bra shopping but can't go without them. I still don't like people looking at me in public. And I still keep my curtains tightly closed even though there's no way anyone can see in them.

I got told that my teeth were hideous and stopped smiling. I got told I was fat at a time I was honestly underweight and stopped eating the little bit of food my mom let my have. I got told that I was singing through my nose and it was disgusting; no one ever taught me how to sing and I stopped after that.

I hid behind baggy clothes until they got to tight to fit. I stopped wearing shorts and tank tops, things I loved growing up, because I didn't want people to see me. I still can't wear them out of the house most years but I have gotten a bit better and do try sometimes.

I will probably never love my body. I will probably never truly love myself. But I am okay with me. I am trying to get healthier. I am trying to get more comfortable dressing up. I am trying to just be okay with who I am.

We put so much pressure on children unnecessarily and words take hold in their minds so easily. It's hard to undo what's already started festering. I will keep working to be more comfortable with me though. Because I will not let any of these voices win.

[sendpseuds]

Apparently, my brain wants to write about ghosts today.

Charming.

[lupinerage]

Somewhere in the stratosphere, maybe what I'm feeling isn't fear. Maybe somewhere up there, I face the future free of care. But here I am, stuck to the earth, with darting eyes and death toned mirth.

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

anyone else have multiple traumatic memories associated specifically with holidays/family vacations? because that is a topic I never see discussed in all the So You Had A Shitty Childhood, Now What? self-help books i've been reading. but for me, it was a significant thing. and the more i think about it the more it seems like this would be an (unfortunately) common experience. would be grateful to hear if this matches other peoples' experiences...

[notacluedo]

Jeremy is so brave bc if I saw Jean doing up his gloves with his teeth it would’ve been over for me

[fungi-maestro]

Happy tdov to fat trans people. 🏳️‍⚧️ Biggest thing that helped me as a trans kid was seeing older fat trans people. There were a lot of really irritating "advice" posts going around early in my time on the internet with a lot of misinformation in them, but one that I constantly saw (in addition to people claiming you should wear your pants rediculously low or only wear button ups) were posts saying you had to lose weight to transition. Can confidently confirm that is completely untrue. 👍

[randomisedmongoose]

Felt like pure shit but then I drank some coffee and sang some madrigals as loud as I could in my kitchen and now I can actually make it through breakfast. Maybe there is life on the other side of the sandwich

[finngualart]

daucus carota

[cinnabread]

Depression cancelled I have weed now

[trashart00]

Ladynoir July 2024, Day 7: I Told You So

@ladynoirjuly

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(cheesulu is the solulu)

[simstrouble]

Arlette Hairstyle by simstrouble

A side-parted, shoulder-length hairstyle with curled ends and with bangs, to give your sims a messy, modern but still classy look 🤍

Base Game Compatible

24 Swatches

All LODs, Hat Compatible, All Maps, 8k poly

download (Patreon, free) | Instagram | Pinterest

[outer-andromeda]

What 5 hours of puppet rigging does to a man (that's me I'm the man)

[domsaysstuff]

Okay so this idea has been rocking around my empty skull for some time now just we know that Eddie can be a pretty mean DM and a shithead and I've been thinking abt romances in D&D and how it would work in Hellfire

And I had this thought that Eddie would like be "no romances!!" to the Corroded Coffin group (before the kids joined) and they're like why? and Eddie just to tease them says that he doesn't want to pretend to fall for their smelly ugly faces

Which just motivates them to try and seduce like every character that Eddie introduces for a fucking month and it leads to the creation of the rule: Every romance/seduction directed roll must be rolled above 15 to succeed AND if Eddie decides that the attempt is particularly bad the roll is with disadvantage

The Corroed Coffin boys are obviously teasingly like ohhh so we get an advantage if it's good?

"Doubt that would happen boys, but sure, if you make me, Eddie fucking Munson, to blush like a fair maiden then you'll get the advantage on the roll"

They try, they really do, but all the CC boys succeed in doing is killing off all of their party in three sessions and Gareth who is a little shit is actually rolling his third character (because the consequences of a failure are fucking brutal) by the time Jeff and [unnamed freak] give up

After that they know better (except Gareth who still sometimes does that just to annoy Eddie and be a little shit) to try and then the kids join Hellfire and Eddie has even less of an desire to flirt with fucking Wheeler, Henderson and Sinclair (they're baby children!!)

But the kids are a little shits too and they see Gareth being a little shit so they copy

It ends badly for them, they gripe about Eddie being unfair because like "all three of us have girlfriends Eddie and you don't so we clearly know more about romance then you do" Dustin not only gets a flick on the head for that but his character might have ended up being put into situations™ throughout the session that are "totally unfair!"

But fair to say all of Hellfire knows the rules and all of hellfire knows that no matter how well they try and how smooth they are (they really aren't ever smooth) Eddie will not blush or even consider they attempts as "good", the best they got was "tolerable" (Lucas got it and he's still very proud of it, as he deserves okay?), Eddie is impossible to fluster and so it's just is this fun thing they sometimes do when they feel particularly like little shits

And that's it about it

Until Vecna and all the upside down shit and the surprising friendship of Eddie and Steve happens

And suddenly Steve Harrington is not only sitting but playing D&D

Everything is going actually pretty good and Dustin practically vibrates out of his chair at how proud he is of Steve for how well he is doing so far and then

And then Steve tries to flirt with a pretty bard

Dustin deflates, he is ready for the absolute disaster that is going to fall upon Steve, he makes eye contact with Lucas - both of them ready with "it was actually a pretty good line tho!" at the tip of their tongues to defend Steve's decisions, he doesn't know Eddie's special rules after all and it would be funny to see Steve fail, sure, but it's Steve's first game and the kids wanted it to be good for Steve so convincing him to play again would be easier

But now Eddie is going to absolutely rip into him and Steve will never want to play again and-

"Roll with advantage" Dustin gasps, audibly, loudly, the room is silent, except for Steve who's very unaware of the chaos he just created and just rolls the dices, his usual confidence in place

And if someone looked closely - and all of the hellfire is fucking looking - Eddie Munson has indeed a light blush on his face

[wikoymi]

17 february 2024 i think i hauve Despair Disease

[fumifooms]

Chilchuck analysis speedrun: As a hardworking half-foot who grew up poor and discriminated against and had his gullibility taken advantage of multiple times in his early adventuring days, Chilchuck thinks optimism is a dangerous flaw. He’s stressed and strict all the time because his job is noticing details like traps that could get everyone killed before anyone knows it, he takes the lives of everyone to be on his shoulders, and with the way he speaks about it that probably partly reflects how he felt about taking it upon himself to provide for his family too. His life’s always been pretty centered around work and has become even moreso now that his wife left and everyone is independent, and due to past events he’s very iffy with bonding with coworkers. He thinks feelings and job are a disaster mix. Like with his wife or with parties hiring him as sacrifice, being open or having good faith is vulnerability which can get you hurt, so he processes and shows all his stress as anger instead of worry. Doing strict dieting probably isn’t helping the irritability what with hunger, and on top of being a hunger suppressant alcohol might be the main stress reliever he has.

His grey hairs are so earned