#well Cee rants

[thebumblecee]

Mini rant ahead: there used to be this thrill when someone commented on my fics like omg yay I hope they liked it but now when I get the email it’s more oh god what are the complaining about now

And it always something and it’s usually pernickety nonsense.

“I don’t think xyz would have done this.” Okay..

Write your own.

Or better yet if you want exact canon just watch the show boo. I’m not your gal for that I love twisting canon to make it fit my end. I love playing with characterisation. I am a maniacal puppet master cackling everytime I make them fight or cry or fuck.

If you don’t like that not sure what you think telling me is going to accomplish lmao

[kim-seungmine]

time for those “hi im still alive post”

[in1-nutshell]

Hello! Sorry I’ve been putting a lot of asks. You can feel free to push this one later. I just wanted to submit this ask while I still remembered this idea. A while ago I read your post about Optimus Prime with a daughter who was his exact opposite, and I loved that one! So may I request a similar idea with TFP Ratchet? Like TFP Ratchet with a daughter bot Buddy who is his exact opposite. Like who had a gentle and sweet and that “Does it hurt here? Aww, you poor thing” “Hey you are doing so much better! Aww! Great job” type of classic cartoon nurse personality, as well as the classic “I love these little creatures! Can we keep them? Father pleaaase?” type of little girl personality (probably to the humans, to Ratchet’s dismey). And she also looked up to Arcee a lot. Like, A LOT! Her absolute idol! she would want to copy every way Arcee talk and behave (even the bad examples)(much to Ratchet’s dismay) and copying the way Arcee battle too. And thanks to Arcee she now wished she could join the battlefield and do all these wonderful cool and dangerous things too! (Once again, much to Ratchet’s dismey)

Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! YES! Give Ratchet a child!

Hope you enjoy!

Ratchet with a daughter who has the exact opposite personality to his own

SFW, Platonic, Familial, Cybertronain reader

TFP

Buddy was originally a sparkling from a dear friend of Ratchet and Orion Pax’s.

Their caregiver was an extremely pacifistic bot who wanted nothing more than peace on Cybertron. But once in a while the caregiver would join a rally with Pax and Ratchet. They believed in change and agreed something needed to be done.

They sadly passed away from natural causes one day when they dropped Buddy off at his clinic to pick up some rust sticks for Buddy. The two friends were devastated hearing the news while the sparkling was happily playing around with her toys.

Their caregiver had placed Ratchet as the primary care giver if anything should happen, Orion was to be the sparkling godparent.

Ratchet took on the new duties immediately.

It was the least he could do for his friend and the sparkling.

Ratchet made sure to let the sparkling know what happened to their caregiver when they were older.

“And that’s the story.”--Ratchet

“So, they’re really gone then?”--Buddy

“Yes…”--Ratchet

“…Does that mean I can’t tell bots you’re my caregiver?”--Buddy

“What?”--Ratchet

“I mean, you take care of me, you feed me, you help me with stuff I don’t know, you helped me choosing my alt mode, you let me rant when things get too much, and you love me… right?”--Buddy

“Of course, I do!”--Ratchet

“Then?”--Buddy

“…I am…I…”--Ratchet

“You don’t have to say it if you aren’t ready. I love you, you take your time.”--Buddy

“… I love you, Buddy. I love you, my sparkling.”--Ratchet

“To Luna 1 and back?”--Buddy

“To Luna 1 and back.”--Ratchet

The sparkling grew up with a peculiar personality contrasting his.

She wasn’t as sarcastic as he was. If fact it was rare to hear her say sarcastic things. Buddy rather expressed herself open when she could.

“Hi Arcee! Hi Cliffjumper! How was patrol this evening?”--Buddy

“It was fine. Not a Con in sight.”--Arcee

“And too bad too. We would have knocked out their processors out right away!”--Cliffjumper

“Any wounds today? Dents? Dinges? Scratches?”--Buddy

“Yeah I think some of the gravel clipped my servos.”--Cliffjumper

“Oh! Let me!—”--Buddy

“He was joking Buddy.”—Arcee

“Oh…”--Buddy

“…But I do have some cool looking rocks to add to your collection.”—Cliffjumper

“Really! Awesome! Let me go get my collection right now!”—Buddy

“Nice save.”--Arcee

“No thanks to you ‘Cee.”--Cliffjumper

She was a very sensitive individual and extremely empathetic in nature. Just like her former Caregiver, a near perfect image of them.

That being said, Buddy did pick up some of Ratchet’s habits.

Sleep schedule? Never heard of them.

Perfectionist? Absolutely.

Think highly of a certain bot? Yes, but not the same one.

Buddy cleaning some of the medical equipment.

Bumblebee coming out from his habsuite.

“Beep beop! (Morning Buddy!)”--Bumblebee

“Morning? But it was just—oh! God morning Bumblebee!”--Buddy

“Beep… bep bep bop? (Buddy… how many hours did you sleep?)”--Bumblebee

“… So, are you going to pick up Raf today?”--Buddy

“Bep beep (Like Daughter like Father)”--Bumblebee

“Hey!”--Buddy

“Bep bop? (Am I wrong?)”--Bumblebee

“…No…”--Buddy

Buddy stayed by Ratchet’s side through the thick and thin as his nurse. It seemed like the best role for Buddy to play. They did get taught by the very best anyways.

The kids for the longest time thought that Buddy was simply a student to Ratchet.

“Hey Buddy, do you have parents?”--Miko

“Miko!”--Jack

“What it’s a valid question.”--Miko

“Umm… I’m confused. You know him already.”--Buddy

“Wait your parent is one of the bots on the Team?”--Raf

“Yes? I thought you knew already.”--Buddy

“Who is it! I bet its Optimus!”--Miko

“Actually, he is my godparent as you’d say it on Earth.”--Buddy

“Then who?”--Raf

“Ratchet.”--Buddy

“RATCHET!?”--Miko

“What’s wrong?!”--Ratchet

“You’re Buddy’s dad!?”--Miko

“Yes? I thought you knew already.”--Ratchet

“That’s what I said!”--Buddy

“But how—I want a Cybertronain DNA test, cause there is no way sweety Buddy is related to salty you.”--Miko

“I’m actually adopted Miko.”--Buddy

“Oh?”--Miko

“But that doesn’t mean you aren’t my daughter, Buddy.”--ratchet

“And that doesn’t mean you aren’t my father Ratchet.”--Buddy

“Wow…”--Jack

“This is too cute I’m going to go puke.”--Miko

“And you ruined it.”--Jack

This clears a lot of things for the humans.

Buddy was the eldest of the youngest group on Team Prime. She took her job as big sister seriously with Bumblebee and later with Smokescreen. She made sure to always be there for them in any way she could figure out was necessary.

The two bots enjoyed having someone have their backs and fixing them when they came back from patrol.

“Hey Smokes’, you’re doing amazing there.”--Buddy

“Really?”--Smokescreen

“Yeah, just a bit longer and you’ll be on your pedes in no time!”--Buddy

“Yeah!”--Smokescreen

“Then you can start the physical therapy.”--Buddy

“Can I skip that?”--Smokescreen

“Did I studder?”—Buddy

CRUNCH!

Bumblebee accidentally crushed a tool with his pede.

“Bee… Honeybee… I needed that.”--Buddy

Ratchet on the other side of the base.

“…I suddenly feel proud for some reason?”--Ratchet

Like Ratchet Buddy looked up to certain teammates.

While Ratchet looked up to Optimus, Buddy looked up to Arcee.

Buddy saw a hero and great friend in Arcee.

A part of Buddy, like Ratchet, wished she could do more to help the team. When she saw Arcee sparring and hearing the retellings of her stories, she could only imagine doing the stuff Arcee could do.

“Then what happened?”--Buddy

“That’s when me and Cliff went into the groundbridge while Shockwave shot at us with his canon.”--Arcee

“I remember hearing that cliff was knocked unconscious when he went into the portal. What did you do to Shockwave?”—Buddy

“Are you sure you want to know?”--Arcee

“Absolutely!”--Buddy

“Heh…I shot the Cyclops right in that giant optic of his! He fell straight back to Cybertron with a BANG!”--Arcee

“COOL!”—Buddy

“Please don’t influence my child.”--Ratchet

“No promises.”--Arcee

“Yeah, no promises!”--Buddy

“…Maybe you were right…”--Arcee

Ratchet just hopes that Buddy doesn’t follow Arcee exactly.

He is too old for these jump scares.

And its not like Buddy would go into battle with nothing more than their med kit for Arcee alone, right?

Right?

[crabdrabbles]

Hiii Crab so happy to see you write outside of our rants/idea chats and my fellow delulu cod enjoyer! Would love to request Platonic!141 + Reader (sorry if this is long and somewhat confusing lol). You can do headcanons, drabble or whatever you comfy for. An idea that popped in my head kinda semi personal: Civ or 141! Reader though has parents and family is the reader is quite something else. Reader despite having somewhat normal upbringing still feel empty; they shouldn't be feeling this numb and empty deep inside of them. The reader craves the love that they give but couldn't or lack of receiving it back, though they don’t expect it or selfishly want it. Just someone who understands them even in their deepest darkest secret or flaw then boom cue the task force 141 unexpected yet welcoming to their life and maybe the one that the Reader can lean and let them be vulnerable on (finally).  

Take your time on doing this Looking for to your other writing genuinely -Cee, your fellow Soap delulu

GN!Reader & 141 (Mostly Price)

Warnings: Slight angst Ships: None. A/N: This absolutely ran away from me and I do not at all regret it, hope you enjoy, Cee!!! Words: 3549

Almost your entire life had been a cycle of self doubt that also started to churn and twist into self-hatred. You blamed yourself for the feelings. Afterall, you had a relatively normal upbringing. Two parents who were both present in your life, both of whom worked so that you all had food on the table and a roof over your head. A luxury that very few had.

The least you could do for them is follow the path that they wanted to put you on, no matter how much you didn’t want to do it. Because you loved them. 

So you excelled in your education, studying hard to try and impress your parents– to make them love you just as much as you loved them for everything that they did for you for your entire life. They wanted you to do all three sciences despite the additional workload it would add to your already stretched thin time? Then you would do them, take any extra classes after school in order to keep up with the work and not lag behind any of your peers. 

There was no such thing as a social life, either, not when you had homework and projects due. Friends were few and far between. Generally, most people left when they realised how hyper focused you were on your grades instead of social interaction. 

Did a classmate get a higher grade than you on a test? Well obviously you didn’t study hard enough, you just needed to dedicate more time to school even though school was all you had.

Did you get the highest marks in the class? Good, that was what was expected of you. Why didn’t you get full marks? You were better than that. You would do better because you loved your family. They showed it in their own way, of course, by encouraging you to study harder and get better grades. That was their love language, and yours was doing as they asked without a second thought. Because, at the end of the day, you were lucky to have an upbringing like you had. You would ignore the hollow void clawing at your chest because you had no right to feel that way– not when you had a roof over your head and parents that loved you(?).

It was when you came top of the class with full marks in a recent test, you came home with a beaming smile on your face and proudly showed the test to your parents. They took the papers from your hands, flipping through your work with critical eyes, before handing the papers back to you. 

‘Well done, we’re so proud of you.’ That was all you wanted them to say to you. That was all you needed to hear. To know that they loved you. 

‘Your penmanship is terrible.’ Was what you got instead. When you tried to point at the big 100% in green pen, you were waved away. ‘How are you expected to get a job when you write like a child? I’m surprised the teacher could even read your answers’. 

After several years of balancing a work and educational life and paving a way for a line of work that you didn’t want for parents you should have been grateful to have, you decided that enough was enough. 

No matter how hard you worked, no matter how high your marks were, they would never be proud of you. They would never return the love that you had for them until you nearly killed yourself trying. 

Spending your entire childhood, teenagehood and all of your current adulthood trying to please your parents predictably would damage one’s psyche. You had no friends, family who had never been devoted to you as you were to them, and high grades serving as the foundations to a prison-like future.

You dropped out of University. The only option forward that you saw was joining the army in the vain hope that the empty feeling inside of you would dissipate when you actually did something that you believed was more worthwhile than any University course. 

So you threw yourself into the military, working harder than all of the other recruits and training at every chance you could.

Your skills and determination became widely recognised amongst your peers. It took several years, but you eventually caught the eye of none other than Captain John Price. 

Impressed by your willpower that not many soldiers possessed, he offered you a place on the 141. 

Naturally, you agreed. You believed that being part of such a well renowned and respected team would finally beat back the lingering self doubt and emptiness that had curled itself around your heart.

It didn’t. If anything, it made it worse.

You were invited to join the 141, sure, but they had already established their own relationships between each other, had already bonded into a close knit group, and you were simply an outsider. Yes, you had been hand picked by Price himself, but that didn’t mean you were part of the team. They had their own inside jokes that they told to one another, leaving you feeling left out on most days.

And you felt… lacking around them. Ghost was stronger, Gaz was faster, Soap was smarter (he was a demolitions expert for crying out loud!), and Price was almost all of those rolled into one. They all complimented each other as a team. Meanwhile you felt like a spare tyre, a master of nothing and barely a jack of any trade. 

Despite how you felt about it all, they all called you ‘kid’. Regardless of age gaps between yourself and the rest of them, the nickname stuck mostly because you were the newbie. It came as a surprise that it wasn’t spat with vitriol as your peers before had, but it was in fact said with… an affection you couldn’t quite place.

You couldn’t ignore the hole in your chest that had been chipped at over the years, forming a gaping maw that no reassurances could really mend. 

Doubt lingered in the back of your mind, chipping away at your sanity as you prepared for the worst. How long would it take before they realised you weren’t good enough? 

You were so deep in your doubts that you didn’t realise that you had been distancing yourself even more than before until you overheard a conversation in Price’s office a few months down the line.

“-- they don’t belong on the team.” Gaz said as you passed Price’s office and your heart dropped. It was only the tailend of what he had been saying but you had gotten the gist. You wanted to stay, to listen to the conversation more and listen to what your team had to say about you, but you didn’t. What you were going to hear were likely things you had already told yourself right from the start. You keep walking on, ignoring the sting of tears burning in the corners of your eyes. The blood rushing in your ears prevented you from heating the rest of the conversation. 

“-- not only are they acting like they don’t belong on the team, but they’re acting like they’re not good enough.” Gaz continued, sighing in frustration.

“Maybe they need more time.” Ghost rumbled in reply, “Let them come out of their shell a little bit. Best not rush these things.” He was talking from experience, after all.

“Aye… maybe I can invite them out for drinks or sommat? I wouldn’t want them getting transferred before we got to know them a little more.” Soap had been the one that had tried the hardest to get close to you but had also tried to give you space so as to not suffocate you with his personality. 

“They won’t be getting transferred.” Price said with conviction, tapping his desk, “I chose them to be part of this team and this is where they’re going to stay. Let me have a word with them first.”

“Aye, sir.”

— — — — — —

You found yourself in the smoker’s shelter outside the main building. It was late enough that most of the soldiers had gone to bed or off to do their own things elsewhere so you doubted that you would be bothered for a little while. Just enough time for you to get your thoughts together. Your tears had dried in your eyes a few minutes ago, making them sting in the cold air. You didn’t need to look in your reflection to know that you probably looked like a wreck– entirely unbecoming of a soldier of your apparent status. 

You didn’t want to get transferred. Despite your distance with the 141, you didn’t hate them. Far from, actually, you held a great deal of respect for each and every one of them. It was just that you felt like you didn’t have your place amongst them. Not good enough to be associated with them. 

“Bit late to be out here in the cold, chuck.” A voice startled you out of your thoughts– one that you would recognise anywhere from the low rasp of a smoker's lungs. 

“Captain.” You croaked, wincing at the patheticness in your voice. There was a scuff of boots as Price came closer, leaning into your line of vision with a furrowed brow which only furrowed more as he took in your dishevelled appearance.

“Something on your mind?” He asked kindly, perching on the arm of the bench to give you some personal space. He left his question open, allowing you any chance to steer the conversation how you wanted to. There was no judgement for catching you at your lowest, no disgust at your red rimmed eyes— just polite understanding and a non verbal offer of pleasant company. 

“Why did you pick me, Captain?”

The question made him tilt his head, a frown beginning to tug on his features. You were worried you had insulted him.

“What brought this on, huh? Someone say something to you? Need me to have a word with them?” He straightened his back, scowling. Whilst you felt like you didn’t have a place in the 141, you could never deny the shield of protectiveness that Price held over his team. You remember in the back of your mind the day that some General who thought he was hot shit had the audacity to undermine Soap as nothing more than a ‘yappy dog’ when offered the Scot’s demolitions expertise. Price had appeared almost out of thin air and almost ripped the General a new one and things would have escalated into a fist fight had Laswell not intervened. It wasn’t as though Price didn’t think his own soldiers were capable of defending themselves, but he couldn’t care less about punishments aimed his own way over that of his Sergeants and Lieutenant. It was just a surprise that the protective streak extended over you, too, despite your distance to your teammates.

“I’ll sound stupid.” You mumbled, looking down at the ground as if expecting him to chastise you like a child. He didn’t.

“I’ve had my fair share of stupid over the years. Try me.”

“... and ungrateful.”

“I once had a guy punch me in the face two seconds after I took a bullet that would have killed him.” Price countered with a cut off chuckle once he remembered what was probably a mission long finished and cleared his throat. “C’mon, tell Captain what’s on your mind.”

And he sounded so sincere when he said it. Sounded like he genuinely wanted to hear what was going on in your head– that he was willing to waste what was already his important and limited time on someone like you. 

“Sir—”

“John.” Price corrected gently, crows feet more noticeable at the corners of his eyes scrunched up when he smiled, “We’re off duty, you don’t need to be so formal.”

“... John.” You echoed, finding that you really didn’t like saying that. It felt like calling your teacher by their first name in primary school or a classmate’s parent other than their last name. 

“Now, c’mon, tell me what’s on your mind. Might not be a therapist, but I’m better than bottling it up.” You wondered in the back of your mind how often Price did this. Sat with his soldiers and talked with them, offered them a listening ear to hear their vents and fears. You couldn’t help but feel honoured to be one of the few he willingly offered said time to. Your silence stretched on as you thought of the words to say, how to phrase what you wanted to say without sounding unappreciative of the opportunity that Price had offered you when he requested you join his team. 

“I don’t feel like I belong here.” You blurted once the silence had stretched on for long enough to border on uncomfortable. John’s face fell and you quickly realised how bad that sounded and rushed to correct yourself.

“No, no, wait, let me explain–” the Captain closed his mouth to allow you to continue speaking, but you could tell that it was hard for him. “I just… you could have anyone better than me, you know? I’m not a demolition expert. I’m… I’m not the best Sniper. I’m the slowest on the team, pretty sure I’m the weakest–”

“Nope.” Price interrupted, finally breaking the bubble of your personal space as he took a proper seat next to you on the bench but still respecting the distance enough to keep a few inches between you. “Nope, not lettin’ you say another word.”

“But–” 

“Nope.”

“Cap–”

“No.”

“But you could have anyone better—“

“But they wouldn’t be you.” He deflected easily. Far too easily. He leant back on the bench, crossing one leg over the other as he folded his arms over his chest. His fingers twitched and you could tell he was itching for a cigar but didn’t light one out of respect. 

“Alright, sure, I can ask Laswell to give me one of the best soldiers in the SAS and have them brought here tomorrow. They could be the best of the best, top of their class, better than you and maybe even better than me. But that’s a bit of a stretch.” He winked and earned a weak chuckle from you. “But they won’t be you. I don’t pick just on skill alone, kid, I pick based on how I feel people would fit into the team. I chose you because I knew that you’d be perfect.”

“As for not being a demolitions expert, let  me let you in on a little secret. I’ve no fucking clue about demolitions, either. And you don’t have to be on the team to be the ‘best Sniper’. You’re better than most, and that’s what’s important. As for being the weakest– did you or did you not bodily lift Gaz in a fireman’s carry during training the other week while he was trying to act as an injured civilian? Quite dramatically, might I add. Swooned and everything.”

You remembered that practice mission. Quite fondly, actually. Gaz was a civilian and , after being struck by a foam bullet from Soap, had dramatically screamed in agony and crumpled to the floor. When you had lifted him up and over your shoulders, the bastard continued to wail something along the lines of telling his non-existent spouse that he loved them and that his money be given to his equally non-existent children. Soap got in another shot to the man’s head, knocking off his cap in the process. Distracted as you were trying to haul your teammate out of the danger zone, you couldn’t help but laugh thinking about it now. 

“Last time I checked, Gaz is somewhat heavier than a sack of flour. Don’t tell him I said that, I’ll hurt his feelings.” Price was right, you supposed. You were more than capable of carrying Gaz over your shoulders, maybe even Soap or Price himself if the time called for it. Ghost you weren’t so sure about, though. The man was a walking mountain. 

“What I’m trying to say is that you have to give yourself more credit. You’re more than good enough to be on my team. I chose you for a reason.”

You… did not expect that sort of reassurance from Price. You had hoped for something along those lines, yes, but perhaps with a thrown in criticism or three. You waited for a ‘but’ that never came. The man snorted beside you and when you gave him a quizzical look, he waved off your concern.

“Shit, if I didn’t know any better, I’d think the next thing out of your mouth would be that your parents never hugged you as a kid.”

Your silence made him slowly turn his head towards you. It would have almost been comical if the situation wasn’t. His face crumbled and a wounded sound emerged from his throat.

“Sometimes they did!” You rushed to defend the people that raised you. “And they gave me food and shelter, clothes when I needed them–”

“Fucking hell. No, that’s what they’re supposed to do because they’re your parents. What about telling you that they were proud of you? That they loved you? I saw your records. Top of your class in not just your training but in your education, too. Triple sciences, mathematics, all of it. They had to be proud of you for that? My parents would have killed for me to get even a passing grade in my GCSEs.” You looked down at the ground and it was Price’s turn to have his eyes fixed on you. 

“They were proud of you, weren’t they?” He asked again, leaning forwards so he could catch your eye, his own filled with concern. “Kid?”

“I don’t talk to them much anymore.” 

Price inhaled sharply and he leaned back again, looking around and clenching his jaw as if fighting back his anger. His fingers twitched again. You admired his self control as he was still yet to grab a cigar that you knew he kept on his person. Usually in his breast pocket while his lighter was in his right pocket.

“Listen to me.” The Captain said, a more stern edge to his voice now that he had gathered his thoughts together. “Whatever your family said to you— how they treated you? Forget it. They showed you obligation. Not love. They didn’t want what was ‘best’ for you, they wanted bragging rights. What you’ve achieved– here, in bootcamp, in university and in school, is something to take pride in– no, no, look at me.”

Your gaze had trailed to the side so you avoided looking at your Captain in the eyes. He noticed and clicked his fingers to gain your attention back on him.

“Don’t look away from me because I want you to listen to what I’m gonna say and I want you to look at my face as I say it.” Your eyes met his blue ones, “You should be proud of everything that you’ve achieved in your life. I’m sorry that your family never told you that and I’m sorry that I haven’t said that enough to you since you joined 141.”

You opened your mouth to say something– to argue or disagree but he shook his head.

“No. It’s my turn to speak now. I’m proud of you. I am so proud of you. Everything you’ve done and everything that you’re yet to do, I will always be proud of you. You’re an exemplary soldier and I knew the moment I saw you that you would be a perfect addition to the 141 and you have proved me right time and time again. You belong on this team just as much as the rest of the boys. Do you understand?”

So many words– proud, proud, proud. That’s all you had wanted to hear for so many years from someone whose opinion mattered to you. You wanted to be seen and Price, this godsend of a man, had seen you and more.

“Kid, do you understand me?”

You nodded once and then realised that Price wouldn’t have been able to tell through your shaking. Tears blurred in the corners of your eyes and you nodded again, not trusting your voice in case it shattered. 

“What do you need from me?” Price’s voice was oh so soft, like he was talking to a frightened fawn. He could see how much his words had affected you and it clearly broke his own heart.

“A hug.” Your bottom lip wobbled and his face softened as he opened his arms, twitching his fingers to urge you closer.

“I can do that.” 

You leaned into him and he quickly wrapped his arms around you, drawing you in close. You could smell the lingering scent of his last cigar. The smell of his office and cleaning oil. You felt his chin on the top of your head and felt how his chest rumbled as he spoke.

“You’re part of the 141 whether you like it or not, alright? Me and the boys want you here for as long as you want to be.”

At that moment, for the first time in your life. You felt wanted. You felt appreciated and you felt seen.

have a request? send one in!

[ellies-enrichment]

You should definitely meme Cee and Ezra! 💕

well i mean if you insist

not to go on my god of charm & joel rant again but ezra is the god of charm

[mrbexwrites]

OC Aks

Tagged here by @kaylinalexanderbooks and passing the tag onto @queen-tashie @cowboybrunch @winglesswriter @spideronthesun @cee-grice @pure-solomon + open tag to answer the following questions:

If you could have dinner with anyone, who would you chose & why?

What is your most valuable possession? Is it for sentimental purposes, or practical?

You're on a hike, and you get separated from your party. How are you reacting, and what do you do next?

I've chosen to answer my questions as Ted, from Memento Mori Part III.

1) What was your biggest fear as a kid? Are you still afraid of that?

"I was always scared of hurting people. When you're a Millennium Citizen whose superpower is essentially being a human lie detector, but who also can't tell a lie themselves...well, there's a reason that the old adage goes 'the truth hurts'. I've gotten better at being tactful when it comes to speaking to people. Morgana calls them 'loopholes', but that fear is still there. At the back of my mind...that I'm going to say something so brutally honest, that it'll hurt someone."

2) Do you ever go on passionate rants? If so, what was it about? If not, what would it be about if you did?

"I am a huge Bruce Springsteen fan. If you ever have a few hours free, I'm more than happy to chat about the cultural impact the Boss has had on American culture and society. We can meet at Barb's Diner? I'll buy the coffee. What time will I book us a table for?"

3) What's the biggest obstacle in your life?

"As I mentioned, my powers as a Millennium Citizen. It...uh...yeah...it gets in the way at times. People like the truth as a concept, but not always in reality. It's made me lose a lot of friends over the years, and co-workers. You'd think, working in a Sheriff's Office, that being a human lie detector would be a boon...but...uh....it's not always the case."

[icypenguin]

☆ﾟ.*･｡ﾟ When is the right time? Pt. 2

this is the continuation of the pt 1! also.. theres gonna be another part after this.. hehe um, enjoy reading! also the reader is fem, sorry i didnt tell!

Pt 1 Pt 3

★ ★ ★ ★ ★

3 days passed by, and its now friday. kuki told you to go shopping for tomorrow with her after school and you agree to. now you’re both in the clothing store, you, not knowing what to buy. “um- kuki.. what should i wear?” you asked being confused. kuki grabbed a silk dress in your favourite colour. “what about this? i beg heizou will love it~” kuki showed you the dress as she teased you. “um- i mean.. i guess thats okay.. with pearl necklace and pearl purse?” you asked kuki once more. “mhm! there you have it~ an outfit that will make your man drool” kuki teased you with a smirk on his face. your face becomes red and kuki laughed at you. “s-stop teasing! ugh don’t get your expectations all high now” you roll your eyes while your face was still red. you both got what you would like to wear then head home to rest.

the next day morning until afternoon passed quickly. it’s 4pm and you just started to prepare. ofcourse you regret not preparing earlier as you’re now spamming kuki with ‘HELP’ messages. you didn’t know what makeup you should go for and what hairstyle suits with the dress. after 30 minutes of spamming, kuki finally replied ‘you should wear light makeup and uh just let your hair down or whatever’. you weren’t satisfied with kuki’s reply and decided to call her. she picked up the call and you started ranting. “woah hey slow down girl, what’s wrong? you ain’t central cee stop acting like you’re singing his song or sum” kuki chuckled. “THIS ISN’T A JOKE KUKI! WHAT IF HE DOESN’T LIKE MY LOOK!? WHAT IF SOMEONE DRESSES BETTER- WHAT IF HE’S DISSAPOINTED IN MEEEE!?” you lay on ur floor and rolled around with tears almost escaping your eyes. “no girl i know he likes you! just be yourself..” kuki continued to comfort you as your face were covered in tears and snot.

after a 10 minutes drive you finally arrived at heizou’s house. your hands were sweating and you can feel your heart beat faster. “alright girl cmon let’s have some fun!” kuki jumped out the car with full of excitement. but you were still inside the car feeling nervous and anxious. kuki noticed this and confirm you there’s nothing to be afraid of “cmon y/n! i bet your man is waiting for you already”. kuki winked and you finally got out of the car. you both went inside to see that there was already many peoples. well, you both did came 25 minutes late.

you were looking everywhere to spot that maroon haired boy when you saw him. he was at the corner talking to his friends. your face flushed a bit when you see him wearing pretty tight black sleeveless shirt, showing his begginers muscles. you look at kuki and he signal you to go to his direction. you shake your head but kuki insists you to. you look at heizou again and you accidentally caught eye with him. being the friendly person he is, he waved at you while smiling. your heartbeat became faster as kuki walked towards him. you didn’t have a choice but to follow her as you didn’t want to get lost at this party. heizou sees you both and greets you both. “i didn’t expect you both to really come but welcome! make yourselves at home!” heizou smiled widely as he shake hands with kuki. but for you, he took your hand carefully and kiss it. heizou looked at you from up and down, you notice this and begins to sweat more. “why y/n, you look very lovely. i didn’t think i would get to see you as pretty as this. not that my expectations were low.. im just.. shocked.. it really suits you though” heizou complimented and ended it with a wink. you were very flattered, you didn’t expect someone to say that to you! and the fact that it’s heizou too! “t-thanks heizou.. you look very charming as well…” you didn’t know what to say but tried your best.

heizou thanked you and you three decided to get some drink, but kuki decided that she wants to catch up with someone. you knew what she was up to and send her the ‘i will kill you’ eye, now you’re stuck with your crush. “do you drink y/n? have you try it before?” heizou asked. you didn’t want to look lame but decided to tell the truth “i haven’t try it before.. i guess i would like to try it though”. you assured him and he hand you a cup with alcohol in it. “cheers!” “cheers!” you both drink it and he asked you how does it feel. “how is it y/n?” “its not bad… but i know this isn’t good..” you felt a bit guilty but heizou cheered you up. “cmon now! its your first try.. its okay you just tried it for the first time” you nod your head as a reply and stop overthinking it.

★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★

sorry guys but i swear pt 3 is gonna be the final… thanks for reading pt 1 and 2 i hope you all enjoyed it! advices aee always accepted thankyou!

[rickwebster35]

Vinombre 1:

My thoughts after the storm:

No way jose

Ryane, Silker, Ana, The stupid cat, are are losers

No way cee chen- no soup for you, no such thing as a free lunch

I hate cpas and esqs- heartless morons

Consultations only until something good happens

I think i bought a rat in the shape of a triangle and not a 2nd job and this was out of despiration and on accident. Should i gtfo? If it is ponzu sauce, i am allergic to it. I’m not spending any money to make money. I hate hiddleson and i hate the whole gather around like the pursuit of slappiness. Prisoners dressed in suits begging for scraps. That is what I see…

Oh and I hate people who are dissociated like they dont gaf. I hate Kay Wongz. Im gonna not acknowledge her presence if she walks all high. If you dont like me, say it to my face

Something about me tells me I need to be the next Anthony Bourdain. I am not gonna go on some budget to eat cereal and cardboard and dog food. I want to eat sushi and wagyu for a living and get paid for it. Scrounging for scraps is not how I want to live.

I would plan to make a show called: Lost in Transit, just like Parts Unknown, I am not the host, it is a collaboration with other youtube foodies and exploring and the one who knows the best will host that episode. I wanna eat sushi and steak everyday, that is real food, not processed shit in a can.

Ill rant more if I can… hope no one from the head sees this or I am done, might as well be a youtuber…

[brokentoys]

okay but like eddie didn’t pull off hush because he felt as though he wasn’t “taken seriously” as a Villain or that the others didn’t like him or treated him as a joke. eddie did hush because he didn’t want to fall out of relevancy. as he stated in the comic, “i used to be a somebody in this town, now everybody has a gimmick.” this is also coupled with bruce stating earlier that he thought eddie would’ve “retired by now.” also, eddie had been suffering with terminal cancer. with this in mind, it probably made him even more scared of being forgotten. as many people fear when they’re dealing with the fact they’re dying. 

hell, eddie wasn’t scared of the other rogues - the only one he seemed scared of was rai’s. when referring to the other rogues, he talked in bored tones... he talked as though they’re below him. you know... instead of doing a Voice Crack or yelling, eddie... fucking yawns when referring to them.

this is what made eddie so fucking cool without being a Brute who can... fight suddenly? It’s that he’s a genius, and can manipulate others to doing things for him without even lifting a finger. eddie isn’t dangerous because he can fight, he’s dangerous because of his brain. this is why he doesn’t need to fight, and why there doesn’t have to be some Grand Last Fight with bruce and eddie. not to mention... people talked about how bruce “mentally destroys” eddie in the end of the hush adaptation, and that’s “good” because it shows how smart bruce is. but... yeah, it just shows bruce as Better and Cooler than eddie. when the comics had them going back and forth, getting underneath each other’s skin. it showed what a fucking perfect antagonist eddie is. unlike the movie where he cries when bruce gets underneath his skin, he had a comeback. seriously...

first eddie gets underneath bruce’s skin by revealing he knows his identity.

then it’s bruce’s turn when he mentions the riddle being useless, as well as rai’s being uber pissed about the pit.

then eddie actually gets the final word by bringing up the death of jason.

which causes bruce to punch eddie - which is also funny, if you think about it. because eddie often criticizes bruce for having a temper, and always resorting to his fists instead of his brains. of course, eddie deserves it. but i just thought that was an interesting note.

anyway, why i explained this entire scene is, again, just trying to show how it actually is a much cooler confrontation than the movie had. eddie, despite not being a brute here, seemed WAY COOLER. he wasn’t choking up about being “c-lister” or not being seen as serious. he was calm, he didn’t cower to the others, he was a true mastermind, and he DID get under bruce’s skin. that’s what makes eddie so cool, he doesn’t need to fight in order to be dangerous, or a threat to bruce.

[fandom-blackhole]

Sinful Sunday!!!!

AN: Soooo sorry I've been MIA this week. I don't know whats gotten to me but motivation has been L O W this past week, but I should be back soon, I have some work stuff to finish. BUT, when I do come back, it will be with a nice one-shot (small hint, its for a certain merman featured in another set of sinful sunday thots) and then I'll get to the THOTs piled in my inbox....

Sinful Sunday Masterlist

Pairings: Ezra (Prospect) x Reader, Din Djarin x Reader x Paz Vizsla, Modern!Captain Rex x Reader

• So the idea is Ezra x reader + Zombie Apocalypse AU, but considering its me, it'll be more like a Last of Us AU, of sorts

Ezra (Prospect) x Reader

So I wouldn't say this is really a THOT, its more or less just a concept I wanted to share. If you guys like it let me know and I might make it into a short series....

• Cee would definitely be in this one, unlike my other Ezra series (Hayloft)

• I imagine Ezra to be a hunter, someone who purposely attacks people and steals their supplies, but he himself tries to avoid killing, though the rest of his small group does not

• Ezra meets Cee, when he is the one being used as bait and he's acting like he's injured while his team members wait to ambush Cee and her father

• A big fight breaks out and Cee’s father is killed along with two of the hunters and Cee is bound and taken to the hideout

• Ezra keeps trying to talk and negotiate with his group to let Cee go because she is just a girl, but he ends up being threatened and told to shut up

• So on his early morning watch, he packs a big bag and steals alot of the supplies, before going to Cee and taking off with her

• The two barely reach the city limits before the hunters catch up, and a fire fight ensues, which also draws in a small group of zombies/infected

• In the skirmish, Ezra and Cee management to fight off all zombie/infected and hunters, BUT Ezra does get a small bite on his arm

• Cee cuts it off for him right there, and they go build a small fire just enough to cauterize it, before moving so they don't attract more attention

• Where are they headed? Well, Ezra happens to know a sweet little peach(reader) who owns a bartering house a few towns over, a place that is neutral ground for everyone, and they own him a small favor

At this point you aren't even sure how you had gotten into this situation, but maker you wouldn't trade it for anything in the galaxy. The situation? You were currently sandwiched between two of the fiercest mandalorian warriors you knew. All you could feel, smell, or think about was them and how absolutely FULL you felt. You can't even think straight too overwhelmed with pleasure, your head too full of the whines and rambles of the man below you and the loud grunts and groans of the man on top of you.

Din Djarin x Reader x Paz Vizsla

First off thank you, @joculatrices for letting me talk about this THOT with you. I was pretty hesitant to post this one, but it has been haunting me for weeks, and while I don't think Paz nor Din would be into sharing all that much, the THOT of them both having their way with me, well it has me overheating.....

You held both Din Djarin and Paz Vizsla close to your heart, but you had never even imagined that you would be with them like this, blindfolded as they both filled you. You never imagined that you'd be here laying ontop of Din, with his twitching cock nestled deep inside your ass, as Paz held your legs as wide as possible and pounded into you pussy like there was no tomorrow. Paz reached down at some point and wrapped his thick fingers around your neck as Din bit into your shoulder trying to quiet himself just a little. It was almost too much feeling the slide of Paz’s thick cock in and out of you, and along the thin wall that separated him from Din's own cock. You were wetter than you had ever been in the past, and hearing each squelch-y thrust from Paz drove you crazy. You could feel yourself dripping down to where you were combined with Din, who was twitching and giving out breathy moans from the stimulation he was receiving with each rough thrust from Paz.

The pleasure was so good, and overwhelming and you didn't want it to end but you could feel yourself about to snap. Din was mumbling something you couldn't make out as he reached around and squeezes your breasts and started circling your nipples. That small added pleasure is all you needed to be launched over the edge into the abyss, and you came harder than you ever had before. You heard Din curse loudly as you tightened up around him and he gave a small thrust before groaning your name and cumming deep inside of you. It didn't take long for Paz to follow, as he gave you three earth shattering, hard thrusts while praising how good you been and then he buried himself as deep as possible and unloaded everything he had inside of you. And as you came back down after that orgasm you knew, you were never gonna be the same after this.

You swore angrily as you all but ran to your next class. Not only had your last professor kept the whole class from leaving because HE was late, but the campus was teeming with soldiers and military personnel using the university campus as a short cut to get to the base stationed next door. You were beyond frustrated, most of the men blocking your path had been rude and tried pulling rank on you when you all but ran passed them, and you had probably given a few too many middle fingers to the assholes, but you could find it in yourself to care.

Modern!Captain Rex x Reader

Ok so after all that FILTH, here is a cute little THOT of how you meet modern au Captain Rex.....

Then one of the grabbed your arm right as you were about to reach the building your class was in and you saw red. You couldn't even hear what he was saying, and you ripped your arm away from him, and in a loe voice, most certainly interrupting his rant, you said, "Do not touch me, or I will make sure you meet your maker sooner than you are supposed to."

You saw his jaw clench and his face turn into a snarl as he spit back, "Do you know who you are talking to?"

As he spoke he rose his finger sticking it in your face. The anger of knowing that you were late to class and your professor had most certainly closed and locked the classroom door at this point, and from the fact that the man infrastructure of you thought he could walk all over you boiled over. In a split second, as he was still shoving his finger in your face and raising his voice, you whipped your hand up, grabbed his finger tightly, and smashed it back until you heard a satisfying crackl. With a smirk, you made eye contact with the now shocked and angered man and said, "That is for making me late to class, would you like for me to continue or are you going to walk away?"

The man puffed up his chest and rose his other hand to slap you but, an arm shot out from behind you, and a deep voice rumbled out, "That is enough, Private Connors, get yourself back to the barracks, your free time has bee revoked and you are being put on bathroom duty for threatening a civilian. Your tooth brush better be ready when I get back to the barracks myself."

"Yes, Captain...."

As the man walked away dejected, the other man, whose deep and ordering voice went straight to your belly, came around and gave you a soft smile as he ran a hand through his buzzed, blond hair.

"I am sorry for the way the Private Connors treated you, and I think the broken finger you gave him wasn't even close to the punishment he deserves for that attitude," you blushed and looked down, before smiling up at the now shy Captain. He stuck his hand out saying, "Captain Rex of the 501st, if there is anyway I can make it up to you, please let me know."

Shaking his hand you introduced yourself and mumbled out, "Well since he made me late to class, my afternoon just freed up, so...um... if you aren't busy, there is this nice Cafe two or so blocks from here?"

[kim-seungmine]

SEO CHANGBIN

[jungshookz]

cee :,(( all the cute boys in class who I’ve had a crush on at one point or another the past few years rejected me and I feel bummed :,(( like, they’ve aLL dated the other girls i know and it just makes me feel left out and insecure that I’m the only one in the friend group who’s been single all her life :,(( I always feel like something’s wrong w me and that I’ll never find love, *sniffles* anyway thx for reading my rant cee :,)

i totally get it!!!! one of the guys i liked ended up dating my best friend and then afterwards i very casually was like did u know i had a crush on u in the seventh grade and he was like ....YES it was very obvious girl and i just sat there like :D okay let’s move on now :D 

what i’m trying to say with that lame story is that i completely understand how u feel about not feeling like you’re good enough for anyone and feeling like you’re probably going to be single forever and that it doesn’t matter anyway because you’ve convinced yourself that u are undeserving of love but!!!!! i am here to say that is so not true!!!!! you are 1000000000% percent deserving of love and u know it’s legit because i added so many zeroes behind the one :D 

honestly you’ve probably heard this before but it’s really just all about being patient!! it sucks because you feel like everything is happening for all the people around you EXCEPT you and then eventually you get so numb to it that ur like well i guess i just have to accept the fact that i’m going to die alone :’((( but i will take these thoughts and break them over my knee for u 

the universe is probably just trying to find someone super duper cool for u i’m sure of it :D 

[fiveup]

dear god why am i here

hi i’m c. 

Five, Cee or just C is fine. PROFILE PICTURE: @lesbian-gnf i am here for the radish man yes but ALSO a Certain Furry who not only stole 5up’s heart he thieved mine as well. anyways.

i also have another blog mostly for dsmp stuff. find that and get a prize ig.

this is mostly to post my own works for this fandom and affiliated fandoms, but i’ll keep sbi stuff to my other blog... mostly. no promises. contributor to @mcytmiraculousau , go check it out!

TAGS: #five logs (reblogs) #five rants (ranting posts) #five says (my posts etc) #five spoilers (posts with spoilers) #five writes (my writing) #five draws (my very rare art) #fives music (my chorus struggles or fun music discoveries) #five liveblogs (my liveblogs) #fives faves (saved art, posts, etc.)

anyways, have a good day!

ps: if I’ve softblocked you (or just blocked you, though idk how you’d see this post), it’s probably not that personal. i block pretty rampantly!

[innovativestruggles]

TsukiYachi speculations, thoughts and theories based on canonical evidence

WARNING: THIS IS A LONG LONG POST!

So I wanna share my thoughts with everyone - especially ya’ll TsukiYachi lovers (notably @mimi-cee-hq​) whoever that’s left (and clearly I should be working but doing this cause I apparently like to procrastinate)

Canonical Evidence

I want to reinforce the point here. When I write about character analysis and speculations, I base things on canonical evidence - that is - based on what I see and interpret from the manga and anime. I usually prefer to use manga as that is the ultimate canon but seeing as the anime is quite loyal to the manga, I’ll be using it too. Of course, this is all interpretation base (and maybe biased) which is why I will put forward evidence that I see so it helps people see where and how I got to my conclusion (instead of looking like I just made something up). Teehee.

So....HAPPY READING!

Manga Vs. Anime

I only recently started the anime and reading the manga (yes yes I am aware I am late to the party but I’m FASHIONABLY LATE) and it is amazing how loyal the anime is to the manga (so far) but I have noticed a few discrepancies. And because this is a TsukiYachi post I am going to focus on this. 

The anime unfortunately toned down some of the interactions between Tsukki and Yachi, which is a huge shame - BUT it does make up for some parts by extrapolating and adding more cute details that was not seen in the manga. So I suppose there are elements of balance, although the details the anime omitted was important as it gave off more interesting vibes. 

For example; this interaction below was downplayed in the anime. Yachi only talked of Tsukki’s liveliness and the flustered “he usually acts so cool” was left out. So sad, I would have totally liked to see a flustered Yachi talking about Tsukki <33

AND THIS ONE BELOW! THE MOST DISAPPOINTING OF THEM ALL! I was sooooooooo sad when the anime left this specific part out where Tsukki and Yachi were sitting next to each other. In the anime, Yachi was somewhere on the other side holding plates or something. LIKE SERIOUSLY? When manga panels are drawn, they usually draw who they would like to emphasise in the centre or draw them bigger. LOOK AT TSUKKI AND YACHI BEING THE CETNRE OF ATTENTION! LOOK AT HOW BIG THEY’VE BEEN DRAWN!! LOOK AT THEM SITTING NEXT TO EACH OTHER. 

STUPID EFFING ANIME HOW DARE YOU DENY US TSUKIYACHI FANS OF THIS!!! *rant rant rant*

Anyways, one thing I did like about the anime was them extrapolating this scene. Teehee. Look at Tsukki just staring at Yachi even whilst Yamaguchi was talking. And then Tsukki continues to talk to Yachi as if Yama didn’t say anything at all. This scene was so adorable <33

So moving on

Interactions

I gotta agree with everyone here and the obvious is that the interactions between Tsukki and Yachi are minimal. It is so sad but you know, Tsukki is a side character and Yachi is like a side side character so I do understand why their interactions would have very little screen/page time. In saying that, whenever they do have their interaction, or when one talks of the other, it was rather significant. This was most notable in the Shiratorizawa arc. Let me explain;

Yachi is extremely caring of all her teammates and her interactions lie predominantly with Kiyoko and the four first year boys. Of the four, Hinata would be the one she interacts with most. I suppose this is because Hinata is the main protagonist so he gets thorough interaction moments with all characters. It is a given. 

Kageyama’s interaction with Yachi was second in terms of screen/page time but I believe the vast majority of the time, it was together with Hinata (ones that are significant anyways). 

Then there is Yamaguchi, who so adorably thinks she is cute. I am still unsure whether he actually likes her (maybe a little crush?). But I reckon Nishinoya likes Kiyoko more than Yamaguchi likes Yachi LOL. So it might just be a tiny crush, I don’t know. Anyways, YamaYachi have very little screen time as well and their direct and indirect interactions don’t particularly stand out to me. I mean, they do have their little fluff moments but nothing significant in terms of development.

Now we have Tsukki. In terms of screen/page time, Yachi and Tsukki, like I said earlier, have minimal interactions - but I mean this in a direct interaction kind of way. What I noticed were their indirect interactions! I’ll explain more later.

I went into watching Haikyuu with a very neutral standpoint and my TsukiYachi shipping did not start until quite some time later (most notable during the Shiratorizawa arc).

Shiratorizawa Arc

Tsukki underwent a major character development during the Shiratorizawa arc so this was a time where he shone the brightest. During this arc, Yachi had some of the biggest screen/page time - it was so awesome! 

Aside from when Yachi was first introduced, we never really got to see much of her, but her screen/page time appeared a lot more during this arc. It so happens that this very arc was the most important for Tsukki. Three major things I noted from this arc,

1. Akiteru’s presence

2. Akiteru and Yachi’s interactions (direct and indirect)

3. Yachi’s commentary of Tsukki

Akiteru’s Presence

Akiteru, we all know, was Tsukki’s biggest influence when it comes to his ideas around volleyball, so naturally his presence there during Tsukki’s major development would be significant.

Akiteru and Yachi’s Interactions

These two have an absurd amount of interactions during this arc. Have a look below!

This was only a handful of times! There were so many more I couldn’t possibly add them all to this post! They only just met that day yet they talked so much to each other! And it wasn’t just all about Tsukki, it was about the game in general and I just love the friendly interactions between them. Like the most important person to Tsukki was interacting so much with Yachi <33 My heart...

Furudate could have made Akiteru interact the same way with any of the other three on the stand i.e. Saeko, Takinoue or Shimada but he made the focus on him and Yachi. And to have Yachi closely interact so much (and on a deep level regarding Tsukki) with someone so close to Tsukki, I thought this was so adorable!

Yachi’s commentary of Tsukki

Then we see Yachi’s commentary. FML don’t get me started on this. I don’t tend to be too observant with these kinds of things but I remember when I was watching this arc for the first time, the amount of times Yachi made some sort of comment about Tsukki was pretty much the only time she had screen time (aside from when Akiteru was talking to her). 

I don’t know whether Furudate was being deliberate with this (he probably was), but anyone on the team could give the same comments as Yachi regarding Tsukki! They probably know his play a lot better as well, but then the audience were given scenes of Yachi commenting on Tsukki instead. ALSO, NOT JUST ANY COMMENTS, they were quite deep-seated ones too. Yachi was just so observant of him and she watches him so closely it was so sweet. She seems to know his state of mind really well <333333

So have a look at some of her comments

Of course there was the one panel earlier when she was talking about how lively Tsukki appeared. I won’t duplicate it. I really can’t help but notice how much she talked about Tsukki during this arc, and they were all mostly directed towards Akiteru as well! HOW IMPORTANT IS THAT? I gotta reinforce this but talking so deeply about someone to the most important family member of that person is so.....HNNNGGGG!! It was no wonder Akiteru was so surprised that Tsukki may have other friends other than Yamaguchi. Teehee. 

Also note that Yachi has not spoken about Kageyama or Yamaguchi (or even Kiyoko) in such a deep manner. She has done so bits and pieces toward Hinata, but tbh not as much as this arc here re; Tsukki.

Below are some Yachi reactions specifically towards Tsukki spiking (first two images) and blocking (last two images) - I had to put these in cause it’s soooo cute!

Something extra for thoughts. I really love the below panel. Something about Yachi speaking of this was so sweet and tender. As if she truly knew exactly how much pain he was in. AAAAAHHHHHHH T____T My gorgeous babies.

Also this one below as well, which occurred earlier in the manga. I just love how Yachi looks out for everyone but she finds Tsukki just that much more challenging to decipher. It just makes it so great when she was able to tell the differing emotions from Tsukki later on in the series... even though he was so apathetic most of the time...

Finally this image below which I already posted above but would like to say a bit more about. So this scene occurred right after Karasuno beat Shiratorizawa. I just love it how with all the emphasis between Yachi and Tsukki during the entire arc, it was so beautifully wrapped up with them sitting next to each other <333

Extra Side Story

Right I ain’t gonna leave this one out. This panel below just goes to show that there was something going on here. Whether I have overanalysed it or not, on face value, it just seems a bit too different for me. What I mean is that Tsukki is a very apathetic, standoff-ish kinda person. If he is not being aloof, he is making some sort of snide and snarky remarks about someone. So Tsukki literally going out of his way to try and say something nice, to make Yachi feel better about her body and then getting a bit miffed because it didn’t get through the way he wanted, was very, very out of character for him. Which is why I just feel like he may have a soft spot for Yachi. Or maybe he is nicer to girls? Though I haven’t seen him saying anything remotely encouraging to Kiyoko.

Then I thought of what he said. As I mentioned in some other post (I posted heaps I don’t even remember where now lmao). “There are definitely people who like smaller girls...” If the translation was done correctly from Japanese to English (I can vouch for this as I can read a bit of Japanese), then the word ‘definitely’ he used was rather brazen. It just means he knows with 100% accuracy that there are people out there who likes smaller girls... And it’s normally a reference to the person speaking because they obviously know that they like the person hehehe.

Okay almost done with my thesis.

Star References

Yo this one is so fluff I fucking love it. I already made brief comments about this in some of my other posts and replies and Mimi (@mimi-cee-hq​) has done an amazing job writing two mini fics on this for me (ILY MY TSUKIYACHI SOUL HAS BEEN FED). See Matching Stars and the sequel A Blue Star! Thank you Mimi you’re a legend <33

So I started watching it a little closer in the anime (and manga), and Tsukki really favours his star shirts a whole damn lot (like the whole moon and star reference probably re; play on his name). Yachi on the other hand favours her star hair ties, blue ones she wears as manager and black ones during school times. I mean come on! Subtle references much? Either I am overanalysing this way too much and Furudate was half asleep when he designed these accessories or he truly be putting in some sneaky TsukiYachi references <333

P. S. Couple accessories that reference each other in subtle ways are common in Japan.

Concluding Thoughts (this honestly feels like an essay fml)

So these are my evidence for this pairing so far. I may have overanalysed this and Furudate could be like “wtf this person be taking this whole thing out of context that was not what I intended” OR “yeah man she totally nailed it right on the spot. I’m surprised she could pick this up so well” HAHAHA. 

Either way, this was my interpretation based on what I saw/read. As a long time manga reader, I know that manga artists portray characters and place emphasis on certain things in differing ways because the audience reading and seeing a drawing is different to them watching something. It’s a lot more difficult to portray your point across to readers than watchers. So that’s why when I read manga, parts such as drawing things bigger, more detailed and at the centre signifies more emphasis, as well as having certain characters together in panels.

At first glance, I actually thought this pairing would be like a crack pairing because there was no absolute way there could be anything remotely romantic about this ship. But the more I watched and read, the more I realised that this pairing does have some sort of potential. I mean, just because of all the direct and indirect interactions I wrote about them here, it does not automatically mean that there would be a romantic development. What I’m trying to show is that there is a lot more to this pairing than just thinking of them as a crack ship, b/c there are developments for these two. Furudate seems to make it so that these two know each other a lot more than what the audience is being given. Do I even make any sense? LOL

Feel free to refute every single thing I wrote here. I love a good debate. As long as you can back it up with evidence and keep things civil that is. It would be so nice if Yachi ends up with Tsukki but yeah who knows. I’d rather her end up with no one if she doesn’t get together with Tuskki (but that’s my personal opinion). Leaving things to interpretation can be a good thing.

BONUS

LMAO YACHI! HAHAHA! But I just love it how Furudate drew her close to Tsukki again <33 T___T so beautiful. And Tsukki in his giant star shirt...what’s new? lololol

BONUS BONUS

Nervous Yachi awaiting results of Tsukki’s injury. AHHHHHHHH LOOK HOW ADORABLE SHE IS! LOOK AT HER! I can’t make GIF but if you go and watch this scene she is literally shifting nervously on the spot. My precious gorgeous girl waiting for her man. I can’t, I just can’t ....

That’s all folks!

EDIT: I made a Part 2! Read it here

[sehunniepotwrites]

for the wip game - of magic sparks and choco tarts and if the headpiece fits!! (you're writing yangyang fics?!?! 👀 i'm so here for that HAHA)

yes, i am!! will i ever finish if the headpiece fits? who knows?? and will my headcanon of yangyang turn out well?? we’ll see uwu

giving you longer previews bc i love you, cee hehe 

— wip: of magic sparks and choco tarts (gryffindor!yangyang x squib!reader)

“Yangyang Liu, Gryffindor,” he said through his chews, tacking his house at the end of his introduction out of habit. 

“Pleasure,” came your reply before introducing yourself.

“The pleasure’s all mine,” he grinned at you with chocolate stuck in between his teeth.

“You have chocolate in your…” you motioned to his mouth. 

Moving his tongue around, he cleared it off and then grinned widely at you to show you his teeth. “Better?”

“Much,” you giggled brightly. 

There was a rush that took over him, one that differed from the feeling the first touch of his wand, but it still felt right. Something about your presence felt right to him and that’s when he knew that this was the start of a beautiful friendship.

— wip: if the headpiece fits (hockey player!yangyang x reader)

“You need to stop staring,” Ten nudged your side as you sunk further into your seat. You broke your gaze on Yangyang who was already skating laps around the rink. You chose to accompany Ten to his hockey practice again after ranting to him about the night before and definitely not because you wanted to steal another look at your crush.

Pulling the drawstrings to your college hoodie, you tied them to hide the tops of your eyes. “There, better?” you asked as he laced up his skates. “Now, I can’t see him.”

“God, you’re just as much as a brat as he is,” Ten muttered more to himself than you. “I mean, that’s progress, right? You talked to him once.”

“Yeah,” you rolled your eyes. “If you call saying a total of three words to him talking then sure, that was full-on conversation.”

“You’re working on it,” Ten waved you off. He stood up from his seat, giving you a pat on the shoulder. “Gotta hit the ice, bubs.”

“I hope you fall and hurt something,” you called as Ten made his way down the steps and onto the rink. He lifted a middle finger in the air with a cackle as his blades made contact with the rink.

if anyone else wants to play, here’s a list of my wips! go ahead and send me and ask if you’re curious about any of them!! 

[dadolorian]

Just like me- Part 2

A/N: Some Light Angst because i am an Angst WHORE Credits: Thank you @oloreaa​ for being my Beta reader/editor !

Title: Just Like me Fandom: Prospect (2018) Ship: Ezra/Reader Warning: Reader is an Amputee, talk of injuries/recovering. Hinted PTSD. Arguments. Canonical death mentioned. Angst? Word count: 5K + (Ahhhh this one is almost double the last one in length but there was nowhere to stop)  Master List Request status AO3 Link Previous part  Next part - coming soon

True to his word, Ezra was quick to find you again, an enthusiastic man you had come to notice as he was knocking at your door the next morning. He had that big, charming smile plastered on his face and apparently had been eagerly awaiting an appropriate time to come seek you out. The second he had finished his morning meal with ‘Cee’ he had excused himself to come find you he later informed you. You hummed happily, inviting him into your quarters, delighted by his eagerness, for you mirrored his enthusiasm. From that point on he had integrated himself as a permanent part of your routine on the journey home. 

Unless one of you was busy, you could be found together somewhere on the ship. Most of the time it was in your quarters, but that didn’t stop the two of you venturing out to the observation deck, the mess hall or any small alcove along the many hallways so you could wrack each other’s brain.  Most of your conversations were sharing your opinions on the books you started to read together, laughing as he would use his way with words and expressive vocabulary to add and improve upon the work, something he said he was inspired to do from his ‘Little Bird’. He on the other hand enjoyed listening to your ideas and the way you interpreted the pieces, thoroughly enjoying listening to you as you tried to explain what you believed certain things meant. And just as you had offered, you helped him with dealing with his amputation. During your first few days getting to know one another you explained different prosthetics, and helped him narrow down his choices based on his needs, for when the time came. He wanted something advanced enough to allow him individual movement of his fingers rather than a basic one that would only clench all of them, something that allowed him more control and finesse. You steered him in the direction of a limb similar to your own, something vacuum sealed that would allow him to wear it without the need for too many straps. “You truly have made this process far less daunting,” he had told you as he took messy notes with his left hand and flashing you that smile once more. He began to subject you to many annoying arm puns, his vocabulary resulting in some of the most creative and long winded puns you had ever heard. You wanted to smack him each time you saw that shit eating grin but you just couldn’t stay annoyed at him for long. ‘Keeva,’ you thought ‘Is this what it's like when I do it too?’

While you weren’t as skilled at such creative language, you had experience on your side, giving him simple but classical leg puns quickly in return. His boisterous laugh each time warming your heart.

His little notebook was soon filled with all the advice you had given him on keeping his stump healthy, and one evening, just a few weeks after you had met he even trusted you enough to begin speaking about his nightmares with you. It was clear he showed a tremendous amount of trust in you at that point already, as he bore his deepest fears to you and allowed himself to be so vulnerable in your presence. 

You had sat by his side on your bunk, stroking his back in comfort as he trembled and confessed what was haunting him. In return, you began to share the more personal stories of your recovery, telling him of painful therapies, numerous surgeries and horrifying nights alone in the hospital. He was able to provide you with your own comfort you had been denied for so long.

From breakfast till nightfall, every day for months you two were in each other's company, conversations with Ezra were far from boring, but as the two of you grew closer you both felt comfortable enough with each other to not constantly fill the silence. The day the two of you spent just sitting in your bunk each reading a book in complete silence together was the day you felt like you could truly call him a friend, not just someone you knew. He had even introduced you to Cee, his ‘little bird’ he had mentioned when you had first met, she was weary of you at first, not that you blamed her after everything she had gone through. But you made a genuine effort to gain her trust, and you weren’t close, but she began to relax around you during your short interactions. Ezra told you he had made it his personal goal to make sure Cee would be taken care of now that she was orphaned, when he first started to trust you more he had explained to you the full tale of how they met. Curled up on your bed, side by side, he expressed deep sorrow in being the reason Cee was now an orphan as well as some hidden resentment towards her father for what he had attempted to do to him, but more importantly, the life he had forced Cee into. You listened to Ezra rant on about how Cee should never have been taken to the Green. How a child her age should not have been forced into the life of a prospector. You could see quite clearly that Ezra had a connection with her, he cared for her and wanted to do right by her. That just endeared him to you more. The contrast between a hardened, cynical prospector and a soft, genuine man made him seem more human to you than any other person you had met.  

He was the complete opposite of you, in terms of affection, he did nothing to hide his thoughts and admiration of you, even from the start, constantly complimenting you and making any excuse to touch you. He was always watching for any sign that it was unwelcomed, and he did nothing to hide his adoring smiles when they weren't. You on the other hand weren’t quite as expressive as him, you wished you had the confidence he seemed to have, because you wanted so desperately to return all his affections, his compliments, his casual touches. He would casually brush some hair from your face and you wanted to lean into his touch, to feel the warmth of his hand on your cheek. When the two of you sat together, curled up on your bunk as you often were, one of you reading out loud from one of your precious books, you wanted to rest your head on his shoulder and embrace him. He would casually put his arm around you as you walked, you wanted nothing more than to lean into him and wrap your own arm around him in return. But no, every time he spouted beautiful monologues complimenting you,admiring you, praising your mere existence to the heavens you kept quiet, somehow convincing yourself Ezra was just being nice.

It was amazing and terrifying just how important he had become to you in just a few short months. Your feelings were an uncomfortable cocktail in your stomach, you were wanting to bridge whatever gap was between the two of you and become something more, but were fearing the risk of losing the friendship you had. And a cynical, depressing, part of your mind wanted to push him away, knowing deep down once you departed the ship you would lose everything regardless. It was some desperate attempt to shield yourself from the pain that was to come. 

But as he spoke about some other thought that had escaped his beautiful mind you pushed those ideas away, burying them deep so you could enjoy your time with him and deal with them later. It was not something you would be able to keep up forever. 

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A week before you were scheduled to land back on central, you were curled up with him on your bunk as usual, his one arm around you, leaning back against the wall with a content smile and his eyes closed as he listened to you read aloud. You were lost in thought, reading the words aloud on instinct, not really paying attention to the words you spoke as you thought. You had been avoiding it for a while, but now, a week until you landed, you were finding it increasingly impossible to distract yourself from what plagued your mind. You had never kept up a friendship or relationship at all once you parted ways with someone. You did not have his affinity for words, you couldn’t just ask or communicate your thoughts the way he could, so you continued to push it away. You had a tendency to do so, that was why it took you so long to properly deal with your own recovery, it took wanting to help him for you to accept that. And had picked up on it, he truly was an observant man because he always noticed when you were trapped in your own mind, overthinking every little thing when something was bothering you. Even as you read aloud, he noticed it. “Angel?” He asked, a pet name he had taken to calling you after he joked for the umptheenth time that you were Heavensent. “What is plaguing that extraordinary mind of yours?” He asked, opening his eyes to look at you, brow quirked in question. You glanced at him. “Nothing,” you lied, trying to be nonchalant, giving him a one shouldered shrug, to which he huffed. “Please, do not attempt to lie to me like that,” he said, narrowing his eyes at you in suspicion. “We have far established that I can tell when something is bothering you. You are usually so expressive when you read to me, a fact I thoroughly enjoy as I listen to your angelic voice." He paused, brows burrowing, looking at you.

"You are distracted and monotonous as you speak Angel, something is troubling you."

His voice softened until it was barely above a whisper, "You are nothing if not patient and understanding with me in aiding me in my troubles. Please grant me the same trust I do to you?” He had a point, he trusted you in telling you of his nightmares, trusted you at his most vulnerable, surely you could do him the same courtesy? You sighed, trying to think of a way to best express your thoughts into something he could understand. “We land in a week,” you started, crossing your arms in self comfort, and he simply looked at you, cocked his head, unable to see what was so significant about that fact. You continued when he didn’t say anything. “I have never maintained any sort of relationship once I have parted ways with someone. I have never run into the same partner again, or managed to keep a friendship once I have left. I’m too much of a drifter.” A soft, understanding smile drifted across his face. “And you fear we will drift apart once we are done with our endeavors?” he asked, giving your shoulder a gentle and affectionate pat. You nodded slowly, avoiding his gaze. “There is a simple fix to that, Angel, we must simply keep in touch once we depart!” he said cheerfully, as if it was the easiest thing in the world. “I would love for it to be that simple, Ezra.” You sighed “But once we land I'm going to look for work as soon as possible. I’ll take the next sling out to whatever planet I can find to continue prospecting. I’ve been so desperate to get back on my feet, literally, that I'm not even going to stick around central to enjoy my spoils from this job.” He thought about that for a moment. “I suppose I do not blame you for that,” he said, rubbing his patchy beard for a second in further thought. “I am certain when the time comes for me I will be finding myself in the same position. But, we can try to keep in contact!” His optimistic and playful smile trying to ease your anxieties. “Once we land I will be making my way with Little Bird and finding a home. Get all the legal stuff sorted, and get her into a school. Keeva knows she has no desire to stay stuck in the life of a prospector and I am not inclined to force her. We can arrange for a means of communication between us before you leave again,” he said, removing his hold on you to give you a comforting pat on the knee. You gave him a skeptical look. “You? Setting down roots?” You asked skeptically, not believing it for a second. He was more of a drifter at heart than you were, you knew for a fact he had no desire to settle yet and wanted to get back to exploring the galaxy as soon as possible. “I’m afraid so.” He sighed, a sad but hopeful, wistful look in his eyes. “There is no way any sort of sane official will let me become Little Birds legal guardian without a stable home. I am not connected to her by blood after all and I have no rights to drag her over the galaxy for my own dreams as her biological father felt the need to." He sighed again at that, gaze becoming far away, a small frown settling on his face. "She will be happier with the chance to settle down and experience a normal life, I intend to give her that.” “Thats…incredibly selfless of you, Ezra” you mumbled, once again endeared to his soft nature he kept hidden under the hardened exterior he often tried to convey. “It’s… The right thing to do,” he said, shoulder slumped. “I am the reason she is without a father after all, I can't just abandon her to the mercies of the universe after what I took.” “Please tell me you aren’t doing this out of guilt?” you asked clanging back at him with a small frown. “Taking care of her as some penance what happened on the Green is not the only way you can do right by her-” “I know that!” He interrupted, hand held palm up to stop you. “I am not doing this as some form of self inflicted ‘punishment’. I have been having many serious conversations with the Little Bird when I retire from your company each night,” he explained pinching the bridge of his nose as he revealed his plans. “Our original plan was to track down some distant relative, or put her into government care but neither of us were satisfied with those bleak options. I have grown close to her, she is a remarkable child and i want to make sure she is taken care of, given the best life she can possibly get." He took a deep breath, looking distressed. "She will not get that from some government official, or some strange family member she has never even met before, who takes her in simply from biological obligation. Someone who holds no love in their heart for such an amazing child. Who would possibly have any desire to be raised by that?"

Ezra looked at you, expression earnest. "I am taking this upon myself, because I want to. I resent any notion of not seeing her again, just as I hold in my heart the fear of not being able to see you again either.” Your heart melted at his words. “Ezra,” you sighed, leaning forward on the bunk. “I can’t make any promises, you and I both know prospecting isn’t a lifestyle that allows long term relationships to last….” “Then I shall make it my goal to keep in contact with you!” he said, optimism clear in his voice and sparkling in his soft eyes. “I’ll send out transmissions every single night to you if i have to to keep our friendship kindled! Just to keep some semblance of you in my life, and I in yours.” You rolled your eyes. “Yeah, that will keep up for what? Six months before you get bored?. Until someone more interesting comes around and i become an afterthought in your day-” “Angel, just where are you getting these thoughts?” he interrupted, shaking his head. “How could you possibly think I would forget about you for even a second? My thoughts have been consumed by you from the moment we met!” He got closer, but did not touch you, hand clenching in obvious frustration. “Experience, Ezra,” you sighed, pushing yourself away from him a little. You had not intended to start an argument, but you wanted him to understand that once you parted ways, you had little hope for what was between you to continue. The annoying, toxic little thoughts that had been creeping in the back of your mind for a while started spilling out. You had learnt the hard way that your life would not allow for something so permanent. When you had met him and offered your ear, your help, you did not believe it would extend past landing in Central. You hoped to give him enough help until he could find permanent support. But you became enthralled by him, your friendship had blossomed into something you would cherish for a lifetime, something you knew could not be maintained and fall apart just like every other relationship you had ever had. “Then let’s experience something better!” He pleaded. “I am more than willing to put in the effort to keep in contact with you! Whatever it takes, Angel, I'll do it!” Desperation clung to his words, his brows furrowed as he looked at you, jaw working, visibly holding back on his words. “Your optimism is just going to get you hurt,Ezra,” you sneered, “I should have brought this up weeks ago, before we got so close-” He cut you off. “You wish to have cut our friendship off before we became close? Angel, I would not have allowed such a thing-” You got up off the bunk in an annoyed huff, away from him, he just didn’t get it. “Do you really believe it could work, Ezra?” You asked him with an exasperated sigh, gesturing at the distance between the two of you. ”Have you ever been able to successfully maintain a relationship of any kind once you said your goodbyes?” His brow furrowed, shoulder slumped once more and his gaze drifted down to the ground. “N-no…I have not, Angel,” he sighed. “It might have been for the best if we had just cut this off before anything started. That way neither of us would get hurt,” you said, wrapping your arms around yourself in comfort. “I believe that's a cowardly way to shield your heart, Angel” he said, lips pressed tightly together. “Have you ever heard the quote ‘tis better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all’? I value the friendship I have found in you, and even if we do not see each other after we part ways, even with the heartbreak I am positive I shall experience. I will hold onto the memory of you and our friendship with a deep love and admiration. I will not regret even for a second choosing to get to know you and becoming your friend because I was afraid of getting hurt.” His voice was low, pain an audible undercurrent in it. “Well, I wish I had your mindset.” You sighed, shaking your head. “I learnt a long time ago that it's just easier to not get involved so much.” “ ‘Easier’ “ He scoffed. “That’s just cowardice and we both know it. How is the woman I met this guarded? This afraid? You are a dazzling and radiant creature. Such a brave and kindhearted woman, I had no inclination you could be this cold about something.” “And here I thought you were logical enough to understand the reality of long term relationships as a prospector!” You snapped, pointing a finger at him. “You said so yourself that you have never maintained one in this life-” “I’ve never wanted to before!” he almost shouted, panic rising in his voice. “I have never dreaded saying goodbye to someone the way I dread saying goodbye to you-” “That’s why we should have ended this weeks ago!” You shouted back, curling into yourself, getting away from him, fists clenching. “No! That's exactly why we should work to maintain what we have!” He said desperately getting up off the bunk so he was more eye level with you. Stepping into the personal space you were trying to expand. He wasn’t having any of that. “It won't work! It never does!” You said, you could hear your voice rising in pitch, as it often did when you got emotional. “Just because you have been unlucky in the past does not mean we should give up on a good thing!” he said, reaching for you cautiously. “Angel, please understand, I will do whatever it takes…Please do not cut me out. I fear being forced from your life will do more harm than naturally drifting apart over time would do. Do not force me away,” he murmured sadly, taking your hand in his, impossibly gentle. You bowed your head so you didn’t have to look at him. “I’m not going to be responsible for you sitting at home, every night, waiting for some kind of response from me. I don’t want to give you false hope-” “It’s not false hope if there's a real possibility of you answering,” he said quietly. “And what happens if I don't? “ You asked, pulling your hand away. ”This is a dangerous profession, we both know that. What happens if I get hurt, or worse? And you're sitting in your home every night, for months? Years? When do you give up after i'm gone?” “Please don’t talk like that Angel.” He sighed. “Why? Too much of a reality check?” you taunt, biting back even more poisonous words “I think you are just looking for more justification in pushing me away,” Ezra said. He hesitated before he continued. “I understand you have been hurt in the past, but your notion that cutting things off, and shielding your heart from others will do nothing to ease those pains. I will worry about you every night regardless, even if I am not granted the pleasure of hearing from you daily. I will still worry about you no matter what, and I will not give up on hope of hearing from you again, so long as you do not forcibly push me away.” You turned away from him, ashamed of the hurt you would no doubt cause this man. “You should focus on Cee ” you sighed, words bitter in your mouth. “She needs you, and she’ll be around permanently for you once you get things sorted. An adoptive daughter is something much more important than a drifter you met and became acquainted with.” “ ‘Acquainted with?’ “ he asked with an exasperated sigh. “Angel, we are friends, good friends. Please do not devalue the relationship we have built. You are the most trusted friend I have ever had-” “I don’t want to hurt you, Ez-” “Then don’t cut me off!” He pleaded, running his hand through his hair in distress. “Make the effort and I will too!-” “I don’t want to get hurt either! I don’t want to risk it!” “This is bullshit!” His breaths were becoming a little rapid. “ It’s going to hurt no matter what you do! Is it not worth the risk to you?” “No !” you shouted. “No, it never is! I hate the heartbreak and I should have stopped this before it got too far!” “Angel, please-” He pleaded again, voice desperate. “NO! No, Ezra just go.” you sighed, slumping in position.” Please. Our friendship was nice while it lasted. I didn’t mean for it to go this far….” He made a hesitant step towards you, face heartbroken , he tried to take hold of your hand with his own again but you pulled away quickly. “Just go,” you sighed again in exasperation, mind running at lightspeed. He tried to plead with his eyes, searching your gaze, but you just looked away again. “I am sorry I have caused you so much distress,” he said, sorrow thick in his voice and he made his way to leave reluctantly. “I will cherish the time spent with you, I am sorry you will not look back on it with the same fondness,” he added before he finally left, door shutting behind him, achingly final You had not realized, in the time you had gotten close to him, just how much he had sunk his way into your soul. 

You had enjoyed his company so much but ignored just how much his presence had wormed its way deep into your heart. You had been blind to the reality of what would happen once you had made friends with him. And you wished, wished you really had cut things off before it had gotten this far, because the heartbreak racing through your being was far, far worse than anything you could have imagined. It tore away at your insides and you tried to process just what was causing it, the pain of cutting him out, the pain of hurting him, or the pain that told you he was right? You loathed yourself as you realized the only reason you were currently feeling so disgusting was because of your own stubbornness. You felt your knees grow weak as the sorrow crept up on you, the acidic cocktail of pure shame swirling in your stomach, you staggered over and collapsed into your bunk, which still smelt like him. You could not hold your tears back as you cursed yourself for ever letting him get so close to you. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Ezra did not show up at his usual time the next morning, and you were unsure if you were pleased or not with that. His absence just made you feel worse and you stubbornly doubled down on the belief that that proved you should have cut him out sooner, rather than accepting he was right.It was easier to delude yourself that admit completely that you were wrong. Hiding from the truth like a frightened child. For the remainder of your journey it felt like he was actively avoiding you, because you had never once seen him in passing whenever you left the safety of your quarters. The night before you landed, a knock at the door roused you. Your heart betrayed you as you felt a rush of elation course through you, he had come back to see you despite everything you had said to him! “Just a minute!” You called to him from your bunk as you rushed putting your prosthetic on. You scrambled to the door unable to hide the relief you felt as you opened the door and saw…Cee. “Uhm, hey," the girl said, looking awkward, "Sorry about this, Ezra wanted to return a book he borrowed but he didn’t want to ‘disturb’ you.” She handed  you one of the books you had leant to Ezra. ”But that’s code for ‘too chicken to come see you’. Turns out he’s a bit of a baby like that,” She continued with an enigmatic smile. “Ah, thank you,” you said, deflating , taking the book, disappointment apparently clear on your face. “I’ll tell him you were wanting to see him,” she said a little playfully as she slinked off. You tried to call out to her to stop but she was quick to disappear into the dark halls and ignored you. With a heavy sigh you closed the door and went back to bed, throwing the book onto your packed belongings as you did so. His absence had done nothing but distress you more. Perhaps it was pride, or stubbornly sticking to your belief that kept you away, but more than anything you were just too afraid and ashamed of how you had acted. He had called you a coward, you were beginning to believe him. You glanced at the book from your position on your bunk, and wished he had returned it himself. But at the same time you were relieved he didn’t. You had planned to be up early, the next morning, so you pulled your leg off so you could settle down properly. Wanting to depart the second you landed, able to avoid seeing him that way, if possible. You couldn’t deny to yourself now that you wanted to see him, but you were stuck in your belief that it was better not to get too close for fear of getting hurt even further. Seeing him again, as much as you wanted to, would just hurt you all over again, because you still believed it wouldn’t work. It was a  storm of feelings inside you, each of them battling each other.  This was why you kept people away. It was easier.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You were up and early the next day, having packed everything that remained and cleared out your quarters. You elected to hide in your bunk, rather than the foyer that would no doubt be packed with people raring to get off, just in case he was there. But, despite your efforts to hide, he was there anyway. Waiting on the boardwalk outside the departure doors, Cee just a short distance away off to the side, minding her own business. Annoyingly, he stood dead center in the middle of the walkway, hand on his hip as he scouted you out. The stubborn, cowardly part of you wanted to return to your quarters. You could attempt to sneak past him but that just felt childish. The crowd had already dispersed enough now so it was just a gentle trickle of people leaving the ship. So you kept walking , head held high, not looking at him. He caught your wrist anyway, fingers curling around it firm, but gently. “Please let me go Ezra,” you whispered, not meeting his gaze, clutching your bag closer to yourself. “Angel, please, do not do me the disservice of not giving me a proper goodbye. I will never be able to forgive myself if I do not say farewell to you properly.” “Ok, goodbye,” you said, trying to pull out of his grip. “Angel, don’t be childish” he chided, not willing to let go of his hold on you until you relaxed, so you relented reluctantly. He was right, you were being childish. He pulled you into a hug as best he could with one arm, chin resting on your head. “I have missed your company this past week, as I would like to imagine you have done so with me,” he started, holding you tightly to his front as if scared you would take flight. 

“It has given me a taste as to what life will be like now without you and I can ascertain that it is not something that i enjoy. However, I can not deny that despite our time together being so short, I have thoroughly enjoyed what time I have spent with you, and I do not regret one second I spent getting to know you. My only regret is that we cannot continue this, as much as i wish we could. I will not force you to partake in something you do not want, as much as it pains me to say goodbye. You are an amazing, beautiful and kindhearted woman, your help in dealing with the most difficult part of my life will forever be appreciated, and I truly believe your kindness has saved my life. I wish to go on only looking back at our brief friendship with fondness, which is why I wanted to say goodbye properly,” he said, his voice tight. Your eyes were tearing up. If only you could be so open with how you felt, telling him exactly what is going on inside your head, and once again you found yourself jealous of his way with words. You felt them, trapped in your throat, you wanted to express every thought and emotion he had managed to conjure up in you, to tell him of your confusing feeling that had been consuming you. To just tell him that you were sorry and that he was right, because that part of you that cared about him knew that if you just admitted you were wrong there would have been no need for any of this. 

But you couldn’t. You weren’t him. You were far too stubborn for your own good and you couldn’t express yourself as easily as breathing as he could.

All you could manage was to choke out a muffled “Goodbye Ezra” as he held you.

He begrudgingly let you go, pulling you closer for a brief moment to plant a kiss on your forehead.

“Goodbye, Angel” He said. “If…if you ever change your mind, I wrote my contact number in the cover of the book Little Bird returned.”

You finally looked into his eyes, his own reflecting the tears that welled up in yours, pain and sorrow looking back at one another.

You turned your back to him, and with that you were gone.

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