#well my life is in shambles but... yeah the spark is back | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

samwrights · 5 years ago

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I Found You

I have no excuses for this one except I’m a dirty dirty Overhaul fucker.

On the real though, this one was very loosely inspired from Yagami Yato’s plot lines for Dabi and Overhaul. These routes inspired the Underground and Dabi and Kai’s occupations, otherwise everything else was just me being a simp.

⤞ Pairing: tattooed!Reader x Former Villain!Chisaki Kai

⤞ Word Count: 16,850. Yes you read that right.

⤞ Warnings: language, arson, awkward questions, reader smokes, I shafted Dabi again and made him the best friend...again, slightly vivid gore, mentions of death, male masturbation, daddy kink, age difference, breeding kink (ish), dirty talk, dom!Kai,

I’m sorry this is so long. Just kidding, no I’m not. I love writing really long fics. Honestly, I’m trying to see how much I can push the boundaries of my writing and how long I can keep one idea conhesive and consistent and how much I can flesh out. Eventually these longer oneshots will be cross-posted to my AO3, I just really need to do my paper. Also Tropium Tattoos is pronounced as Tro-Pie-Um.

The color of fire always burns in accordance to temperature as well as the material that it’s burning. Watching the local Underground clinic slash orphanage burn not only red, but an almost ethereal green from the copper couplings and details of the building felt like an early Christmas warning—like the Underground was a target and the rest of the hidden city would soon follow by the holiday. That warning was only followed by disgust at the thought of someone feeling the need to go after a free clinic and orphanage in a city built out of a hollow sewer full of exiles for whatever fucking reason.

Your heart is an amalgam of aching and sorrow and anger as you watch the flames burst through the windows of the shoddy building from a safe distance. From where you stood outside of your tattoo parlor only two blocks down, you see a crowd beginning together. Much to your surprise, most of them were only kids with one adult herding them—a man you recognized to be the owner of the building currently meeting its demise.

The doctor of the clinic is as calm as ever, or rather trying to be, quietly attempting to do a headcount of his children. It seemed that concentration was alluding him, given the situation, because he swears up and down that he knows he has nine kids. Yet, he seemed to be unable to count past eight. He’s trying not to panic, but one of the kids speaks his greatest fear into fruition. “Daddy, Eri’s not here!” Golden eyes widen until the sclerae are fully round, pupils constricting in fear. This ‘Eri’ was special, you realize as you observe from a short distance away. The doctor is looking back at his children who are all in some form of tears and shambles then back at the burning building like a ferocious game of ping pong. Chisaki Kai can’t just leave his kids out here—not when he is almost certain that this attack was premeditated. But his daughter, his eldest daughter at that, was still inside potentially being engulfed by flames.

Back and forth.

Your body moves without a second thought.

Your body moves, ignoring the screams from other bystanders for you not to go inside the burning clinic as you burst past the dilapidated red door. Upon entering, copper decor and steel support beams had fallen from the ceiling, sparking flames that were separating you from the stairwell that led up to the orphanage. There was no way you would be able to find this Eri person through the wreckage—not alone at least. Maybe your dumb quirk was good for something.

You didn’t even realize you had a quirk until the age of twenty when you had gotten your first tattoo. It wasn’t anything crazy—a traditional-style three-eyed wolf’s head on your arm—only to wake up the following morning with no soreness, no tenderness, and no ink on your body. The wolf laid beside you, curled up in your bed, somehow manifesting into real life. At first it was terrifying, of course, but after learning how to return the creature back to your body you realize it might not have been a total waste of money. Your quirk, something you jokingly called the Magic Pencil quirk in reference to a Spongebob Squarepants episode from your childhood, was officially registered through the government on the Surface as Life Canvas. Again, it was a pretty dumb quirk unless you knew just what to utilize. Now your body was littered with dozens of creatures, weapons, hell even a telephone just in case you might need it. But the wolf was your favorite, as it was your first, and he was just the one to call for in this situation. Activating your quirk, you pinch at the ink on your forearm until it begins to peel off before setting it down on the ground. The line work stands on its own before the ink fills out into a three-dimensional mass and a now recognizable creature.

“There’s a child somewhere here. Help me find them,” you implored your creation, cautiously climbing around the shambles while it did the same, though much nimbler than you. Fragments of the stairs were missing, some of railings were in flames—it was hard for you to get anywhere at the moment. A scream rips through the walls, a young girl you realize. She’s probably now seeing your large and somewhat creepy three-eyed wolf. Maneuvering carefully, you find spots that have yet to burn until you see a little girl cowering away from flames in her bedroom and away from your quirk. “Take my hand!” You try to scream, but the way building was going down was deafening. Instead, you cross a patch of fire to scoop the frail child in your arms and trapping the both of you behind a brazen wall of flames. Patting the wolf on the head, as if deflating it with your magical hands, it flattens back into a two dimensional drawing and returns to your body to grant you the ability to switch out to a manifestation that would prove to be more useful in this situation. You repeat the process, this time with a Phoenix from under your bosom that emerges just outside the window closest to the two of you. “Hold on tight,” you tell her as you pull her flush against your own body before smashing through glass to land the back of the Phoenix, covering her head to make sure the shards didn’t mar her skin. With a gentle descent, you place her feet first on the concrete with her family.

“Eri!” The doctor of the clinic calls out in relief, arms wrapping around his daughter tightly. Your lips purse in a small, tight smile before you’re off on your way again, riding off into the horizon on the back of your strange creature. And for a moment, Chisaki Kai is torn between going after you to thank you while Overhaul wants nothing more than cleanse his children and you for touching his precious daughter with a vile quirk. He settles on the former, golden eyes watching your back disappear into the dark cavern of the Underground city.

Weeks had passed since the fire burned down the orphanage clinic. Tabloids were published trying to figure out who the mysterious hero was, though most of the articles feared that an actual Hero was among the residents of the Underground. The Underground welcomes Heroes like the human body welcomes the plague—they tried to be eradicated and killed off. Not to say that quirks themselves weren’t welcome, no. It’s just that most of the residents were quirkless and those that did have one were all registered in a public database, separate from the government mandated one up on the Surface, so that quirk wielders were no secret.

All but you, anyway.

One of these well-known resident holders was Chisaki Kai. Quirk: Overhaul. Local doctor and caretaker of the orphaned, quirkless kids. Though, whether their powers had yet to manifest or he had removed them himself due to his vile distaste for the genetic mutation was unknown to the public.

Another was the leader of the Underground: Dabi. The Cremation user who was presently lounging in one of your dingy, beat up sofas of your tattoo shop. “You know, most of the people just want to know who you are,” he supplies, flipping through the most recent news article. Instantly, he knew it was you that had rescued the little girl from the burning building, knowing full well of your quirk regardless of how rarely you used it.

“And half of them want my head because they think I’m a Hero,” you spit the last word out as you finish tidying up your workspace. Your last client of the evening had just left, leaving you to close up shop while Dabi came to bother you as you did so. Not that you complained considering he had been a close friend for a long time. “Like I would ever be a Hero.” Heroes were the reason you and many others here in the Underground existed in this hidden sewer metropolis. Whether the Heroes had destroyed their livelihoods, their families or, in your case, accidentally killed your parents while you were still a teenager and you had nowhere to go, they were at fault for the creation of this cozy, dingy city.

“Says here that Eri wishes to personally thank you,” Dabi adds, turquoise eyes flickering in your direction as you stop at the mention of her name. “We could hold some little rally, get you a medal—“

“Dabi, no.”

“—or you could just stop by town hall with me. Overhaul and the kids have been staying there while the clinic gets rebuilt.” You mull his words over in your head while capping all your ink bottles and putting them away in their respective drawers. Dabi takes your silence as a gesture of you thinking, even more so as you aggressively sanitize your client chair. “Come on, [ name ], she’s just a kid.”

“Yeah, but I hate kids.”

“Then stop acting like one.” With that, the leader leaves your shop, bells tolling as he exits. You weren’t being childish, you internally bite, silently and stubbornly. It wasn’t your fault that you didn’t want to just announce that the lone tattoo artist of the Underground had a quirk that the public didn’t know about. It wasn’t your fault that your body moved without thinking. And it certainly wasn’t your fault that you rescued the daughter of the most notorious quirk hater in the city.

Chisaki Kai was not quiet when it came for his distaste of quirks despite having one himself. Rumors floated all around the Underground that all of the children in his care had their quirks removed by his own hand, Eri included. What kind of monster did that? To his own child, no less. The thought made you sick to your stomach, only reaffirming your initial decision to not meet with Eri.

But thinking of her brings great sadness to you. She was merely a child—a child who probably didn’t understand her father’s distaste. A kid who just wanted to thank the woman who saved her and nothing else. A sigh passes your lips as you head up the stairs from your shop to your attached apartment, turning off the lights to Tropium Tattoos. It’s not fair to deny her, you think.

Maybe you’ll just sleep on it for now.

The following morning was quiet, as it was every morning in a city built out of a sewer. But eerily...too quiet. The sound of chirping nature and wildlife was a foreign concept now, especially years later. But there were no sound of bikes or clunky old cars passing by or arguing neighbors—if noise was present at all, it was in the form of faint crackling and crinkling of papier-mâché but somehow on a grander scale. It was new. There’s a grotesque smell in the air; a cross between a stale bonfire and rotting wood and warm smoke.

Oh no.

Oh fuck.

Panic fills your veins, throwing your nearly bare body out from under the covers. Ripping open your bedroom door and flying out the narrow entryway that led to the stairwell, you’re met with orange flames burning the wood of your staircase leading down to your shop. There’s no time for you to think about anything other than retreating back to your living room, to where the flames had yet to enter the threshold. Glancing out the large bay window behind your couch, you debate how steep of a drop it is from your second story down onto the cold pavement without sparing a second thought to how you could break your own fall. Contemplation wears down at your time to escape, you realize, as the fire is now entering your living space and burning brightly like a firework and catches onto the wooden console table in your entryway as well as the walls. Without another moment’s hesitation, you throw yourself through the window, bracing for impact from both the glass and the inevitable shattering of at least one bone.

“[ name ]?!” You hear Dabi yelling over the sound of collapsing support beams from the inside of the building. All that’s on your mind is pain—throbbing pain and an ear-splitting cry as you try to cradle your probably broken arm from the back alley of your shop. Dabi calls out your name again, running over towards you while still trying to be somewhat mindful of all the shards of glass in fear of accidentally kicking more in your direction. Between rapid breaths, a few heavy coughs escape your lungs, no doubt from smoke inhalation. “I got you,” he murmurs as he picks you up gingerly. Another groan leaves your lips—your whole body hurts and were you more coherent and not in shock, you probably would have realized sooner that you’d broken more than just your arm. “Find who did this and bring them to me,” Dabi snarls at the small squadron behind him attempting to put out the fire that was destroying your livelihood as he makes his way back to town hall.

It takes everything in Dabi’s body to not stamp his entire way back into his living quarters and the only reason he isn’t is because he’s carrying your busted body. This is the fourth fire in two weeks with no discernible pattern. All he knows is that it started with Overhaul’s clinic and now has somehow reached your quaint and quiet tattoo shop. As a leader, it makes Dabi want to tear his hair out. As a friend, he’s just pissed off.

He’s thankful you’ve passed out just so he doesn’t have to deal with you bitching about how gruff he’s being. Though, it certainly dawned on him that you had probably fallen unconscious from the sheer agonizing pain of breaking multiple bones simultaneously. He sets you down, far from gently, in the residential living room upstairs of the Town Hall building. “Overhaul!” He bellows out, not even caring if the children heard his angry tone right now.

“I told you to stop calling me that,” the doctor appears from around the corner, a clearly agitated look on his face, even beneath a simple black mask. The irony isn’t lost on Dabi despite his composure—he remembers once upon a time when Kai only went by the name of his quirk. Funny how years go by. “Her again?” Overhaul all but sneers, looking at your limp body that was covered only in a thin tee shirt and a pair of panties. Ignoring that little fact of seeing so much painted flesh, he notices the distinct smell of burnt wood and swelling under the skin where the breaks were. “What happened to her?”

“Someone set [ name ]’s tattoo shop and apartment on fire. She jumped out of a window to get out.” Dabi is absolutely seething, little sparks of blue flames leaving his nostrils as he lets out tufts of air. “Idiot had no idea how to break her fall and busted her shit. Can you help her?”

“I suppose that would make us even.” The doctor snarks back thoughtlessly, but he can’t help but wonder why you didn’t use your little quirk to save yourself as you had with Eri.

“Good. I’m gonna go find this fucker.” With that, Dabi storms out of the living room and out of the town hall building, leaving Kai with the woman that saved his daughter’s life. At least maybe now, Eri could say thank you like she had been asking to do. He could say thank you.

Chisaki adjusts you on the couch so that you’re entirely flat on the cushions, mindful of the glass that’s embedded in your skin. If anything, he should probably remove those first. With gloved hands, he picks out all the shards he can see with his golden eyes while his mind wanders as he looks at the lines and colors of the tattoos that covered your body. From neck to toe, there was ink on nearly every inch—even the one dragon-snake hybrid on your face that wrapped around your temple and cheekbone. Despite your [ hair color ] locks matting your skin, Overhaul found all of your tattoos rather intriguing to look at; almost as if it weren’t flesh because the contact wasn’t causing him to break out in hives. Like your body told a story without you even needing to speak.

After getting all the glass cleared up, Kai gently pushed on your arms and legs, checking for any signs of bones out of place from where they should be or cushioning and swelling to protect the damaged areas, outside of the very obvious ones that nearly looked like softballs. Two breaks in your femur, four in your ulna from what he could feel—nothing that Overhaul couldn’t fix. Though, he had to make sure that everything had set the way it was supposed to and that you were able to use your limbs after he did the repair. That meant he would actually have to speak to you, and he comes to the realization the two of you never actually had the chance to speak to each other before. Maybe he shouldn’t be as judgmental of the fact that you had a defect—maybe you were like him and abhorrent at the fact that you had a mutation to begin with.

After using his own quirk, Overhaul checks for a pulse on your neck with two fingers, making sure you at least had a heartbeat before patiently waiting for you to regain consciousness. In the meantime, he continues picking out the fragments of glass that escaped his initial sweep—a task made slightly easier when the shards caught the light contrasted the dark lines embedded in your dermis. For a brief second, you stir against his touch before your eyes snap open. “Holy fuck, what happened?” You all but howl when you come to. You let out a deep gasp for breath, suddenly aware of the dull throbbing in your arm and leg as you attempt to make sense of your surroundings.

“Can you tell me if this hurts?” The doctor to your left says evenly, emotionless even, as he holds your wrist between his thumb and middle finger, moving your arm in all sorts of ways. A sharp inhalation sucks in between your teeth as it twists in ways you weren’t sure it could before. A grimace touches his lips underneath is plain, black cloth mask—maybe he didn’t set the bones correctly? Overhaul lays your arm flat, ready to make his adjustments, but as his gloved fingers padded closer, you found yourself retreating further into the depths of the couch cushions.

“I-I’m good,” your words come rushing out, desperate to dodge his touch. Why did you wake up with Overhaul over you? Did he take your quirk away? You’d have to investigate further when you were alone, test it out in private. Ignoring the dull hums of pain coming from your arms and legs, you manage to sit up, slumping over your knees before you realized where you were. “Town hall?”

“Yes. Do you remember anything?” You shake your head—you remember waking up to smelling the smoke in your apartment. You remember the fire creeping up the stairwell and the way orange painted your once tan walls. You remember jumping out the window, but everything else after is met with a blank slate. “You broke your arm and legs in a few places—I reset them with my quirk.”

“Oh,” is all you have to say. “Uh, thank you.”

“Speaking of thank you,” Overhaul palms his knees before pushing off of them from the wooden stool he’s sitting on, standing at his full height and smoothing out his black dress shirt and slightly creased slacks. “My daughter would like to thank you for rescuing her a few weeks back.”

Dammit.

It wasn’t like you could just say no to Eri’s father when it was only the two of you—that would just make you look like an asshole or worse; he could just kill you and say you died in the fire. It was even more difficult to decline considering the young, silver-haired girl was peeking her head from behind a partition, wide-eyed when her dad mentioned her. With your own eyes softening at the sudden contact, you offer an awkward smile that you pray comes off as welcoming. Overhaul beckons her to come closer, holding one hand open until the young girl is tucked underneath his hip.

“U-Um, t-thank you for saving me,” a squeak spills past her dry lips before she runs out of the room as quickly as she came. You didn’t blame her. Even if Overhaul is her father, he gave off an intimidating air that surely would frighten any child. It made you wonder how such a man ran an orphanage. But to your surprise, Eri returned, though this time not alone. A flock of children was accompanying her, each of them with bright eyes and big smiles adorning their unique appearances.

“Thank you for saving our sister!” They chime in unison. The sight made your heart swell and soften, even if only slightly. Eri steps forward cautiously, pushing through her own trepidation as she stands before you and throws herself at you, hugging you tightly with arms around your neck in gratitude. As if triggering a domino effect, a few of the other children felt the need to express the same sentiment. An uncomfortable laugh bubbles past your lips as you awkwardly wrap your arms around the gaggle of kids—you may not like them, but you weren’t that much of an asshole to deny them a hug.

Kai’s typically hard, cold expression mellows at the sight. It’s heartwarming, he gave it that, but a part of him cannot stave off the tiny bubble of envy he feels seeing his children so ready to embrace you when they initially had such a hard time adjusting to life with him. He loved these kids—and it was quite clear you felt the opposite—so why hadn’t they gravitated towards him like they did you? Underneath his mask, he grimaced before internally shaking his head. They were his children, they loved Kai regardless and he knew that. “Alright kids, why don’t you go play and let [ name ] rest? It’s been a rough morning for her.” The use of your name shouldn’t have shocked you, or maybe it was fear that crawled up your spine at the doctor’s endearing tone. You weren’t aware that he knew who you were. The kids let out a collective groan before listening to their father and exiting the living room. As soon as each of their little, youthful heads is out of sight, you breathe out a sigh of relief.

“S-sorry,” you mumble out, suddenly reminding yourself that it was probably rude of you to make a sound as such and you wanted to make sure you did nothing to insult Overhaul to his face. A huge part of you felt that one wrong word out of your mouth meant the end of your quirk or your life.

“It’s alright, I know they can be a handful. Though, they seem to be quite taken with you.” His tone is still rather polite, you notice, and his voice is entirely different than what you’d thought it would be in a one on one interaction. You thought it would be deeper, as whispers and rumors of Chisaki Kai being an incredibly cruel, bitter man painted a different picture in your head. But the man standing before you looked every bit as broken as you felt on the inside—as if a part of him had an empty chasm residing in his chest that could not be filled by the nine children in his care.

“I can’t imagine why,” you reply.

“Neither can I,” he says without skipping a beat, his tone still airy and light. Before you can rebuttal with your quick wit, Dabi storms in with his eyes locked on to your now conscious body. Gesturing with his head, over exaggerating the folds of his damaged skin, he encourages you to follow him downstairs to the mayoral study. Silently, you sauntered off behind him, leaving Overhaul alone in the living room, while you could feel the internal flames burning within Dabi. Pissed didn’t even begin to describe the look on his face.

In the office, photographs of burnt down buildings, rubble, and the skeletal framework of Underground businesses were littered across the large, maple desk. All the while, the leader of the Underground was grumbling to himself repeatedly while tugging at his raven locks in frustration. Not only had someone burned down local businesses in the city, let alone a close friend’s business, but it seemed that someone was attacking his city from the inside. “I wasn’t able to save Tropium.” You offer no response, mostly because there isn’t one to have. You felt anguish over losing your home, sure, but knowing how hard Dabi worked to protect the Underground, you can’t quite imagine how he’s feeling.

Instead, you respond with, “Is there anything I can do to help?”

“I should be asking you that. Your home is gone, [ name ].” He had a valid point. Perhaps you could find a few local contractors and give them some work—it wasn’t like you didn’t have the money to spare. But that would probably take some time considering, from photo evidence, the place—all of them—was going to need to be built from the ashes. “Stay here while you figure it out. It’s the least I can do.”

“Don’t you already have Overhaul and the kids staying here?” Maybe Dabi didn’t notice the way your voice trembled as you spoke his name, even more so after having woken up to him by your side. But the thought of you, a quirk wielder that kept that little fact hidden from the public, temporarily boarding with a man who was vehemently against the abomination of quirks gave you severe anxiety. Additionally, there was the nine little children that also were a factor and the thought of one of them waking up in your temporary residence and intruding on what little privacy you would have—

“And?” Dabi asks, pulling you from your reverie. “[ name ], I know I don’t say this enough, but you’re one of my closest friends. I don’t feel right not giving you a place to sleep.” His quirk may be Cremation, but Dabi was a master manipulator when it came to pulling at your heartstrings whether or not he was aware of that. You let out a sigh of conceding, knowing you wouldn’t be able to argue your way out of this one.

“One condition, bud,” you hold up a single index finger, the black quill feather tattooed there standing erect, “find me some contractors to help rebuild all the buildings that were burned dow.”

“That’s gonna cost ya,” Dabi hums, as if contemplating. And he was, but rather in estimated cost as opposed to the proposal itself. Physical currency was a rarity in the Underground, as the city ran on a merit and bartering system. Real Surface money was only used for certain occupations. Realistically speaking, he knew money was no object to you considering the wealth, or rather hush money, you acquired from your parents’ death, so there had to be another reason. Knowing you as well as he did, it was probably the fact that the faster your homes were rebuilt, the less time you would have to spend sharing walls with Overhaul. Very smart, the leader mused. “You got a deal, doll.”

You lost count of the days that had gone by since you took over the project of rebuilding the structures that had gone down. While the orphanage project had already begun, you had hired two additional bodies to help the progress go faster so that Dabi could return to his duties without the addition of eleven more mouths to feed. Simultaneously, you had been at your own construction lot from metaphorical sunup to sundown, helping contribute and manage the two men that were hired for your location.

You weren’t avoiding Overhaul, you told Dabi repeatedly when he asked where you’d been all day.

This project was an opportunity for you to set up shop in a reimagined way—to be able to design both your studio space and your living space exactly to your tastes. It had sort of become your baby and you wanted to be as hands on as possible.

You weren’t avoiding Overhaul, you kept telling yourself.

Tropium’s new store front was stunning, albeit a bit ill-fitting with its new modern style in contrast to the Underground’s more rustic, steampunk look. But the charcoal grey stone walls with chunky white trim filled your heart with a sense of pride that your business would hopefully rise from the ashes much like that of the Phoenix tattooed under your bosom.

Currently, you were upstairs with the tiny team of contractors while going over the floor plan of your currently bare apartment. Given the space of the empty building, you managed to enlarge your rooms at the cost of downsizing your entryway and living room. It still felt homey and, with the addition of a small office that served as a spare bedroom, you figured on nights that Dabi hung out and didn’t feel like going home, he had a space too. After laying out the floor plan and going over schematics with the team, you ventured back downstairs to continue sanding down the counters for your studio space.

“So, this is where you’ve been spending your time?” Oxygen freezes in your throat as you’re met with Overhaul’s golden eyes and black mask. Albeit he wasn’t in his normal dress shirt and tie for once, but rather sporting an oversized hoodie and tight denim jeans.

“W-what are you doing here?” Is all you can say back. You aren’t sure if you’re moving or even breathing at this point. The pressure you feel from a man whose face is half-covered is terrifying—liquid gold was dull in comparison to the intimidating eyes of Chisaki Kai.

“Dabi told me about your little deal,” his voice rolls like honey straight from the dripper as he makes small flits toward you that subconsciously leave you retreating back up the stairs one step at time. A deep groan rumbles in his chest when he sees your reaction—not that he blames you in the slightest. Overhaul is more than aware of his notorious reputation both in the real world and in the Underground and is accepting of strangers’ reluctance to be around him. He knows he’s partially to blame for not trying to quell the stigma around him by formally introducing himself prior. maybe not being such a condescending jackass when he first officially met you would have helped as well.

But he can’t squash the little bouts of jealousy that filled him seeing his children flock to you like dragonflies in search of water that almost make him bask in your trepidation.

“Take a walk with me,” Overhaul adds, torn between offering you a gloved hand as a metaphorical olive branch or simply turning around to see if you follow. He opts for the latter merely for the fact that you’re covered in dust and paint from your days’ work. Bounding after him, you stuff your hands into the pockets of your loose overalls as you try to catch up while bearing in mind to keep a short distance between the two of you. The two-block walk is brief and silent as you end up at the construction site of the clinic. Perhaps your memory of the building you never visited beforehand was skewed, but it you were certain it was much larger now. “Feel free to look around. After all, you’re paying for this.” There’s a twinge of malice that paints his invitation that isn’t lost on you, but you decide to forego the welcoming regardless.

Passing through the threshold cautiously, you’re greeted with what looks to be a regular, two story home. The skeletal structure foreshadowed a kitchen, dining room, living space, and a hallway leading to two rooms. One staircase that lead to a basement, one that lead upstairs—it was strange to see the clinic become more of a home than anything else. “Where are you putting the clinic?” You ask meekly, careful not to touch. Just because Overhaul invited you to check out the specs, doesn’t mean he wanted your lingering fingerprints ingrained in his space.

“Basement. I figured it would be better for the children to have majority of the space.” A pregnant pause takes over the conversation once again, leaving you to roam around the new space in appreciation. A part of you was pleased with the work the contractors did for this family, a large part even, but there was a small nagging voice in your head that was still telling you to retreat back to your own project. “Why did you do it?”

“Do what?” A brief chuckle that is muffled by his mask dances on his lips. He’s not sure which of his theories he wants to start unraveling first. So he starts with the one he believes to be most ludicrous—the conspiracy that you or somebody you worked for was trying to take this children away, or Eri at the very least. If people on the Surface knew about her and her quirk, Kai doesn’t doubt a bounty would be on her head. But truth be told, he knew this seemed unlikely. You had never bothered to even engage with him or anyone else in his family until recently, despite having come to the Underground shortly after its establishment.

“Rescue my daughter, for starters.” Of course he starts with the question you don’t have an answer for. To which you can only respond with the truth—your body moved on your own when you saw the panic in his eyes. Also knowing he had to watch his eight other children and ensure their safety prompted your body to act automatically. “You used your quirk to save Eri, but not yourself. Why?” Your eyes narrow slightly in both suspicion and out of confusion. It was strange that Overhaul kept demanding answers and logic and reason for things you did as a knee jerk reaction. Considering you’d only discovered your quirk just before going to the Underground, it wasn’t exactly what you would call a natural reaction. Plus, weaving through danger for someone else wasn’t as simple as just running in and out of the building as it was to jump out your bay window. Judging by his silence, it seemed he accepted that answer. “And the contractors?”

“I just want all of our lives to go back to normal, including Dabi.” It wasn’t exactly a lie—rather just a short omission of the truth—and it wasn’t like you could tell him that you couldn’t stand living in such close proximity with him due to fear. But Overhaul had a knack for pinpointing a fib like a honeybee in search of something sweet.

“You’re lying,” he bites. You shake your head almost violently, as if the movement will deter your mouth from telling him the truth in its entirety. There was no way you could admit the fear he instilled in your bones or the anxiety you felt standing close enough for him to touch you. Sure, you may have felt that your quirk was less than impressive but that didn’t mean you wanted him to take it away or worse, your life. Knowing that he knew about it too, while the public didn’t which was a requirement for living in the Underground, only reaffirmed your worries. “Do you fear me?” Overhaul asks, making note of the way your fingers were trembling and way your eyes constantly averted his.

“Yes,” your voice comes out as a mere whisper, barely rising above the hammering and drilling of the construction workers. A part of you wished that your admission made you feel better—like it felt like a weight lifting off of your shoulder rather than making it feel like you were denying some greater truth—a part of you just wanted to run and hide and pretend this interaction wasn’t happening.

It shouldn’t have hurt Kai as much as it did to hear you say it out loud, considering you were nothing but a stranger. But you were a stranger that his children were so utterly enamored with and all he wanted was to understand. Yet, the feeling of disappointment is a dull thrum in his chest, long forgotten with a wide array of other emotions and coming only second to his envy. “I’m sorry,” he says finally, though the monotone voice almost sounds insincere.

Perhaps, his jealousy is misplaced, he thinks. His children may be drawn to you, but at least they didn’t tremble or wrack their bones with trepidation the way you do when you see him. If anything, his jealousy is replaced with empathy. Despite your clear distaste for youth, you got along swimmingly with his kids and they clearly wanted to be present with you. It must have been difficult for you to be near them, even more so considering you trembled in their father’s presence. The two of you stand in silence with you looking away pretending to soak in your surroundings of the plastered walls. Overhaul is observing your nervous ticks—the way your twitching fingers are exaggerated by the ink in your skin or the way your knee bounces impatiently along the hardwood.

“Daddy, daddy, daddy, come look at my roo—oh! [ name ] is here too!” Bounding down the unfinished staircase was one of the orphans in Overhaul’s care; Shura, if you remembered correctly.

“Just stopped by to see how the place was coming,” you offer in addition to a sheepish wave. Before you know it, Shura is grasping one of your hands with both of his while guiding you up the stairs.

“Come see our rooms, [ name ]!” Overhaul watches with curious eyes at the way one of his sons is so overzealous to include you in their little world. The appeal makes no sense to him—you were just a stranger with skin like a Monet painting that had made little to no effort for these children outside of rescuing Eri and allowing them to shower you in their affection.

Why did acknowledging that their enthusiasm to include you hurt Kai even more so, knowing you were afraid of him?

Trudging behind, Overhaul peers through the open doors upstairs to see each of his kids decorating their freshly painted walls. In Shura’s room, you were sitting on the floor with your arms wrapped around your knees while the little boy explained to you that he wanted his room to be decorated with narwhals. The excitement he had, and the knowledge of even knowing such a creature existed, was quite charming. “[ name ], are you gonna join us for dinner this time? Dabi says you’re always working, but daddy always makes you a plate just in case!” Your eyes glance over to Overhaul and his leisurely pose as he rests one arm on the door jamb. For a moment, your mouth open and closes repeatedly as you try to stutter out some semblance of an answer.

“Just in case,” the doctor adds, as if to add more pressure to his son’s convenient question. The golden orbs you normally deterred from swirled with an intensity that, much to your surprise, didn’t wrack your nerves like they normally did. It was as if they were filled with remorse rather their typical bitterness, maybe sympathy even, imploring you to consider Shura’s inquiry.

“I should go finish my work for today then so I can be home for dinner,” pushing yourself off of the freshly carpeted floor to stand. At some point while Shura was giving you the grand tour of his room, your legs had fallen asleep, causing your first step to hobble and throw you off balance and trip.

“Careful,” Overhaul chimes, bemused at the way you flail to recover from your stumble. To your surprise, he’s pushed himself off the door jamb, crossed through the threshold of Shura’s room, and has his arms locked underneath yours to keep you steady. “Drink some water before going back to work.”

“R-right,” you stutter out, hyper aware that his hands are touching you. He feels the way your tendons bunch together in your arms at the contact, even more so when your pupils lock into his. It untangles one more thread in his theories, one he figures he’ll push on later because it’s a theory just as farfetched as his last one. “I’ll, um, see you at dinner,” the last syllable rises in intonation as you squeak, flitting away and ignoring your numbed legs and blood burned cheeks. Meanwhile, Overhaul chuckles as he watches you scurry away, the blush painting your cheeks burning into his mind just as well. The way you moved was reminiscent of when he had reset your bones and the way you recoiled thereafter. But through thorough observation, he knew that reaction wasn’t fear this time around, no. Fear made you quiet, not nervous or jittery or force your pupils to dilate.

This was something else entirely.

Something else entirely to the point where Chisaki Kai is unsure if he even wants to entertain the possible theory that maybe, maybe, you’re the slightest bit infatuated with him.

“How nice of you to join us,” Dabi sneers teasingly when you set foot into the private entryway of town hall’s attached home. The makeshift family of ten is already seated at the extended dining table, an empty seat awaiting you on Dabi’s left with Overhaul on his right. Each of the children that you had come to be familiar with over the last few weeks had lit up like your presence was a treat—a strange feeling, considering you’d done the most to avoid being in the temporary residence.

“Go wash up, we’ll wait for you,” you had never seen Chisaki Kai without his mask, let alone heard his voice so clear. The angelic lilt rivaled expert fingers rimming crystal glasses, hypnotizing you to do as he said without so much as a fight. Entering your room, you immediately discard your dirty work clothes and shower hastily, scrubbing off flecks of dried paint and dust. In seven minutes and nineteen seconds, you’re out of your en suite bathroom and shucking on leggings and a long sleeve tee before joining everyone else at the dinner table.

To your surprise it felt quite...normal. Was this how families had dinner together? You were unsure, considering your parents had never been one to have the three of you gather together for a meal—they were always too busy working until the day they were killed nearly a decade ago.

It surprised you how natural the flow of conversation was, even with nine children ranging from ages four to seven. Even more to your shock, Dabi was more than willing to indulge the kids in their stories. But the creme de la creme was seeing maskless Overhaul smiling and laughing and attempting to get his kids to eat their vegetables. Was this the real Overhaul? Had his notoriety preceded him so greatly that you feared him for no reason at all? Your intuition tells you no and, perhaps, to some degree it’s right. There was still a dangerous air that encapsulated Chisaki Kai, but it wasn’t one that made you instantly retreat like touching a cake pan you’d recently pulled from the oven with a bare hand. If anything, it was alluring as opposed to intimidating.

The kids were so happy you finally joined them all at dinner. Rapid fire questions from any one or even two of them made you hesitate to answer but you did your best to keep your face even and amused. Children may not have been your favorite, but however the heck Overhaul was raising these ones, especially all nine of them, was truly wonderful. Throughout conversation, Shura and even shy little Eri had scrambled into your lap with each one of them taking a leg while the three of you ate. Initially, Kai had scolded them both, saying they were being rude to which you only shook your head and allowed them to stay, much to his surprise.

After dinner, the children cleared the table. Those that were able of the younger ones brought stacks of dishes to Eri and Shura whom were in the kitchen washing plates and silverware—their duties as the eldest of the nine. Dabi has pardoned himself after thanking the family for the meal to hole himself up in his office. According to the leader of the Underground, the investigative team was still working around the clock to unearth who was responsible for the fires. You had found yourself in the garden of Town Hall, tablet and digital pen in one hand with a cigarette in the other. Drawing was the only leisurely activity you indulged in when not working on rebuilding Tropium.

Typically, Dabi would join on you on these evenings with stacks of papers and a cigar between his lips as he bounced ideas off of you to figure out potential perpetrators. Needless to say, it surprised you when Overhaul enters the makeshift garden that was really just a manmade pond with lily pads and rose bushes aligning the sinkhole. “Hi,” you offer meekly, averting his gaze by keeping your own glued to your tablet screen.

“Hi,” he returns, twisting up a shapely brow at the cigarette between your index and middle finger. For a moment, he’s torn between asking what you’re working on or if you had any ideas to who burned down both of your homes or even how the rebuilding of Tropium was coming along. But he can tell by the way the filter of the cigarette squeezes between your fingers that you’re tense, that you can sense there’s a reason for his presence and decides to forego small talk. “I don’t want you to be afraid of me,” his voice is small and unsure and drastically different from the Overhaul you were used to. Nonetheless, his statement catches your attention and pulls it away from the screen of your tablet.

“I’m more afraid of what you can do,” you admit quietly, “I don’t want people knowing about my quirk. Dabi was the only one who knew and now your entire family knows and—“ you pause for second, hesitating on whether or not you should continue. But Overhaul was brave enough to tell you had what been bothering him, even if only a minuscule issue, you figure you owe him the same. “And I don’t want you to take it away.” The broken syllables leave your lips bare above a whisper, reaffirming at least one of the theories the doctor had about you. Of all the conspiracies, it made sense that this one was the most likely to explain your reactions to his presence, no matter how much he had hoped it to be some strange, magnetic attraction.

You had bought into the whispers of the Underground that said Chisaki Kai’s life mission was to overhaul the population and remove quirks.

Dejection fills his chest as he lets out a sigh. Maybe this was being too honest, his inner voice argues as it debates on his next words cautiously, but he feels the need to burn clean. “[ name ], what do you know about me?”

“That you were a Yakuza leader and you think quirks are a plague that need to be eradicated.” Overhaul closes his eyes languidly, peeling them back open at a snail’s pace while the warm, golden orbs stare off into the never-ending tunnels of the Underground.

“I became the leader of the Shie Hassaikai when I married my wife at twenty-three and took over for her ill father. It was a quirk marriage, but a happy one, nonetheless. At twenty five, my wife had Eri and while most children’s genetic code didn’t activate the gene for a quirk until a few years later, Eri was born with her quirk activated,” you listen deeply, soaking in every word leaving Overhaul’s maskless lips. His eyes drop down to stare at his gloved hands before burying his face in them for a moment to swallow his guilt quietly. “Eri can rewind time on living things and the first person she used it on—“

“—was her mother,” your voice barely vibrated past your lips as you made the connection. Bile rose in your throat, threatening to spill the contents of your gut not out of disgust, but rather an overwhelming surge of sorrow.

“I lost my wife when I was twenty-five. The rate that she was being rewound at was too much for her body to handle and I had to overhaul my own daughter at birth just to get her quirk to deactivate so she didn’t destroy everyone she touched,” had Chisaki Kai not come to terms with the truth a long time ago, he would have shed at least a single tear recounting these memories he had buried. Either that, or almost hurled recalling the way his wife’s body had imploded until chunks of skin and muscle tissue and blood ended up spewing all over his chest and face. There was a reason he constantly wore gloves and a mask—the smell of cooking carcass and burning meat never left him and the exaggerated mask stuffed with lavender was the only scent that eased him. “I was angry at the world for a long time.”

“I am so sorry, Over—“

“Kai,” he interrupts, “or Chisaki, at the very least. I don’t go by that name anymore.” After a bout of silence, Chisaki continues further. Eri never grew up with a mother or siblings and after things had gone south on the surface, he wanted to raise Eri in a place where people didn’t know the truth about her or the mother she never had the opportunity to meet. So he fled to the Underground with Dabi; he started helping tend to the ill and taking in quirkless children who had lost their parents on the Surface to Heroes.

In a moment of vulnerability, you felt the need to offer the olive branch and share your own story with this man after he bared his soul to you. And so, you tell him about the accident. How, while in pursuit of a villain, the small mom and pop diner that your parents frequented on Friday afternoons was accidentally set on fire by Endeavor and trapped and killed of the patrons inside. You were in your first year of high school at the time—fourteen and preparing for university until you realized you would need to work full time in order to continue paying the bills until the settlement from Endeavor came. University was down the drain. It took years for the dividends to be decided and the lawyer managed to get you a considerably high amount thanks to emotional damages, but riches and wealth would never quell the resentment you held towards the then number two pro Hero for being so reckless. That was nine years ago. Somewhere along the way, you’d met Dabi and he granted you a home and space to continue to hone the craft of tattoo artistry that you had picked up from working part time in a parlor, as recompense for his father killing yours. Though, you’d left that last little tidbit out, unsure if Kai knew of Dabi’s lineage. “I’ve been in the Underground for the last three years, give or take.”

You had always been rather indifferent to the concept of heroism until that day. Even more so when you had met Dabi—a man who was wanted and was supposed to be a villain. Yet he extended warmth and welcoming to you, offering you refuge in a new city he had created for the exiled and wandering.

The grey areas only widen with this conversation with Chisaki Kai. A notorious man, an infamous man, known for causing utter chaos on the Surface both as the leader of the Shie Hassaikai and as a super villain, was sitting across from you and sharing the most intimate moments of his life.

Maybe the concept of heroism was skewed to begin with, you think to yourself as you put out the cigarette in the ashtray in front of you. Maybe Dabi and Overhaul weren’t the real villains—only designed that way because of the way some omniscient creature in the stars that you couldn’t see.

“I remember when you first opened Tropium,” Chisaki hums bemusedly, “the children said you looked like a coloring book.” The only fitting response you have is laughter. Neither of you thought laughter would be something the two of you would indulge in together. But the way your cheeks cinch together at the corner of your eyes or the tufts of air leaving your nostrils in a short snort and the somehow smooth staccato of your chuckle sounds like holiday bells after the first snowfall. It was a peace that Chisaki Kai hadn’t known for some time now. It was a peace he didn’t know he needed, and it makes him wish that his magnetic attraction theory had some truth to it. “Your secret is safe with me,” he says finally after the laughter had died off.

“Thank you, Chisaki,”

You started coming home for dinner every night, figuring the two contractors didn’t need you there to micromanage them, until you stopped dropping into the worksite all together. With a full house, Dabi was out more frequently, preferring to be in the field to investigate the fires as much as he could. This left you with Chisaki and the kids more often than not. On occasion, you would run to the local market with Eri and Shura or had even done arts and crafts with some of the younger ones. As a sort of inside joke, you had bought each of the nine coloring books.

Currently, the kids were playing volleyball in the makeshift garden while you and Chisaki supervised. It was no longer tense between the two of you, a sort of bond forming since that one night. You should have seen the inevitable question coming. Though you more so imagined it would come from Dabi in the form of some snide comment with sexual implications regarding how close you and Overhaul had become. Never did you anticipate his oldest son asking, “[ name ], are you going to be adopting us? Are you going to be our new mom?”

“I-I—“ you were a deer in headlights and the question was a freight truck gunning in at ninety. Looking over at Chisaki for help, who seemed almost unwilling or at the very least unsure on how to, you shake your head before staring back at Shura’s big blue eyes. These children had begun carving a special place in your heart due to how they came to be in Chisaki’s care, sure, but you still had your reservations about kids in general. Not that the doctor blamed you—maternal instincts didn’t necessarily apply to every female. “I-I don’t wanna take you away from daddy, he works so hard to take care of you all and he does such a good job,” for a second, Shura’s expression becomes crestfallen.

“But we all like having you around, [ name ],”

“I’m not going anywhere, buddy, I promise,” the seven-year-old boy promptly wraps his arms around your neck, squeezing tightly as if you were going to dissipate into the air in front of his very eyes. Without hesitation, you hug back briefly before telling him his siblings were waiting for him to start the next set of volleyball. “Was that okay?” You ask quietly, looking over to the doctor. From underneath his mask, you can see the twists of pain coloring the dusty gold hues of his irises and the way his jaw tenses. When he remains quiet, you anxiously reach for an e-cigarette—a fruity one that wouldn’t alert the kids or burn Chisaki’s nostrils from the scent—and pull the tip to your lips. Maybe you shouldn’t have said that to Shura, you think as you exhale a large cloud of smoke.

But Overhaul’s stomach is twisting and churning, and he crosses his legs over the knee to squeeze his legs together tightly. He’s thankful for the black cloth mask that covers majority of his facial features as he bites his lip and his nostrils flair while he tries to control his breathing. Think of anything else, his mind snarls. Think of the days in the Shie Hassaikai, think of the children, think of literally anything but the way you called him “daddy” and how the blood rushed from his brain and straight to his dick at an alarming rate. It was so innocent—there was no reason Kai should even be thinking of it in any other way—but primal instincts were taking over, twisting into a delusion in his brain into hearing you repeatedly call him daddy while he fucked you from behind.

“Can you watch the kids?” Chisaki chokes out, standing up abruptly and fleeing inside the temporary home. He doesn’t even have the chance to hear you ask if he’s alright as he’s rushing upstairs to his en suite bathroom. Entering his room, he rips off every shred of fabric covering his body before turning on the shower to the coldest temperature he could tolerate. But there wasn’t enough cold water in the Underground or gruesome thoughts of his wife’s sudden death that could stave off the erection he was currently sporting. “Fuck!” He snarls out viciously, mind running rampant with salacious daydreams. Out of sheer need, Overhaul wraps one hand around his cock, the other bracing himself on the shower wall while the cold water runs down his spine.

Chisaki Kai is livid—raging over the fact that he is reduced to such actions over a simple word that he hears multiple times on a daily basis. It wasn’t that he was abhorrent at the thought of masturbation in the slightest—he was a human with natural human needs, after all—but this desperation that filled his gut and fueled his hard on was less than desirable. But he can’t stop the aching he feels to hold onto that blip of memory of you calling him daddy. He savors it like the first bite of a meal and indulges it in the same way he’s trying to coerce his own orgasm.

Throaty groans and grumbles wrack in Overhaul’s throat as he fists his angry, weeping cock, twisting and turning it as he prays for reprieve. It’s not enough; it’s not your mouth or any other oriface he would rather be shoving into, but the friction rubbing against his veins would have to be enough. He’s far from gracious at this point. Cupping and massaging his balls with one hand while thrusting into his enclosed other at ferocious speeds was all in the name of merely getting off. “Fuck,” he hisses out once again as he feels the very start of his orgasm. As much as his natural instinct is just telling him to sit back and enjoy the ride, his common sense tells him otherwise, tells him that he’s filthy for doing this and he doesn’t deserve to indulge in these thoughts.

But he needs that extra push to satiate his natural instinct.

Succumbing to his deeper, carnal desires, his imagination wanders back to you. With golden eyes screwed shut, he pretends it’s you he thrusting into, that it’s you stringing together languid profanities between your lips; that it’s you begging for daddy to fuck you harder.

That it’s you begging daddy to fill you up and make you into a mother.

“Oh, shit,” Chisaki is gasping for breath as he cums on the shower walls—the last thought to flood his mind serving to break the dam. He licks his lips and swallows hard, his skin becoming dry despite standing in the cold shower. After his ragged, uneven breathing returns to some semblance of normal, he peels his heavy lids open and stares at the fluid coating the shower wall. For a moment, shame washes over him because he feels pathetic and small. But the moment is brief before it was replaced with a dull burn of hunger that may never be quelled.

Pathetic, Kai thinks again as he scrubs his body clean, before exiting the arctic shower. Never before had he been in such a state, even at the ripe age of thirty-two, to masturbate to the mere thought of another person. Perhaps he was that touch-starved, all things considered.

He can’t bring himself to gaze at his reflection as he gets dressed. Adorning grey joggers and a red zip up hoodie, in addition to his usual mask and gloves, he maneuvers his way back to the makeshift garden where the children are still playing with together. But rather than you sitting alone at the patio table as you were, Dabi had joined you in the seat directly across from you.

Both of you were sporting matching cigarettes in your respective hands with matching distressed looks on your faces.

“We’ve been waiting for you,” you say in an almost indifferent tone, a departure from the way Kai had heard you in his mind seconds ago. It was a sentence typically accompanied with some sass, but your eyes were devoid of emotion at the moment. Cautiously, Chisaki took a seat beside you at the patio table, propping an elbow on the armrest closest to you before resting his temple on the same closed fist he had just used to beat himself off. You pay it no mind, how close he is to you, but rather put out your cigarette on the ashtray on the table as a courtesy to him. “Dabi,” your tone is thoughtful as you say your best friend’s name, making a hand gesture that signifies him to speak.

The leader of the Underground opens the manilla folder that was harboring the photos of both of your burnt down homes as well as the two other destroyed businesses. “It’s been a challenging investigation, but after eyewitness accounts and working with local law enforcement from the Surface, I’m pretty sure my bastard brother was behind this shit,” Dabi grits out.

“Brother?” Kai asks, confirming your suspicions of him being unaware of Dabi’s genealogy and family tree. To this, the leader pulls out a mug shot of Todoroki Shouto. The face wasn’t entirely familiar to Kai, save for the small resemblances to Dabi. Same jaw shape, same blue eye with the same dead look.

“Why us?” You ask, flipping the photo over. While it had been awhile since you had resided let alone visited the Surface, you knew that there was some rumors in the air about the start of a war, but what possible reason did Todoroki have for going after the Underground when everyone kept to themselves? For Chisaki, who ran a free clinic, and his children? What about you—why go after you?

Outside of Dabi, hadn’t the Todoroki family tortured you enough?

The city leader takes a deep breath, exhaling smoke as he extinguishes the dead cigarette on the ashtray. According to the patchwork man, Todoroki had confessed that he was selected for a covert mission from the Hero Association. The primary goal was to eradicate any and all quirk wielders within the Underground so they didn’t procreate further, so no overpowered quirks would mutate in the next generation of Underground born children. Overhaul lets out a scoff at the explanation—leave it to the Heroes to act so recklessly and selfishly.

If quirk mutation was the concern, only him and Eri would have been targeted, maybe Dabi as well. Probably Dabi as well. But they burned down Tropium Tattoos, the home of you whom had the legally registered quirk Life Canvas up on the Surface. They burned down a farm whose owner had a quirk that could manipulate light and sunshine—whose farm fed the patrons of the Underground. They burned down the house of the guy who had a weird magnet quirk. It sounds more useless than he actually is—Dabi ended up capitalizing on his manipulation of magnets to create magnetic elevators up to the surface for supply runs and other necessities.

This was about population control.

It was a form of genocide that Overhaul himself was all too familiar with.

“Well that’s fucked,” you sneer, reaching for one more cigarette, “the fuck is wrong with your family, dude, and why are they all trying to kill me and my family?” Chisaki turns his head in curiosity, no longer resting on his knuckles. The only time you had brought up your family, around him at least, was when Endeavor killed your parents—

Oh.

He pretends he doesn’t feel disappointment when he realizes you weren’t implying he and the children were your family.

“Why the hell do you think I left, [ name ]?” Chisaki almost feels as if he shouldn’t be present for this conversation; like it was meant to be private between the two of you. But he can’t bring himself to leave your side, not with the way anger is crinkling in the form of crow’s feet at the corner of your eyes. Dabi excuses himself after a long bout of silence, leaving you to stew in your bitterness while Overhaul directs the kids to wash up for dinner. You don’t realize all nine of them had left the garden until the doctor is standing over you, despite the small wisps of smoke billowing from your cigarette with a hand extended towards you to pull you from the patio chair. You’re sure to extinguish the stick, knowing how the smell often offended him before taking it.

“Why don’t you go rest inside for a minute and wash up while I make dinner?” He offers quietly as he pulls you to your feet. The entire time, Chisaki maintains eye contact, his golden orbs unwilling to break their trance with your form. But thanks to the distress and the rapid pace that your brain is moving, you aren’t even aware of your surroundings or the way Chisaki is just standing in front of you until you’re running into his broad chest. Instinctually, you recoil away from him. Not out of disgust or fear like before, but rather respect, knowing how he is about touch and physical contact.

“Sorry—“ his arms are nestling at your waist to keep you in close proximity and you’re suddenly reminded of the time your legs fell asleep at the orphanage and you had stumbled trying to walk. Chisaki had been there then too, holding you steady much like he was now. There was something drastically different to the scenario now compared to back then. The doctor didn’t shy away from the contact anymore, didn’t draw his hands back like he touched a freshly stoked lump of coal or break out into itchy hives. If anything, his gloved hands lingered just a little bit longer—too long even for Chisaki—before gingerly patting your head and retreating inside the home.

And maybe if you weren’t trying to process the fact that the Surface was attempting to start a war with the Underground, you would have dwelled more on the warmth and security coming from Kai. The poise he held coupled with the fire and desire in his eye would have been enough to reassure that everything was going to be alright.

Dabi never came back that night. Rather than leaving his head seat at the dining table empty, Chisaki sat to your left with his daughter filling his space temporarily. You sat directly across from Eri, the girl who was once too timid to thank you now smiled brightly every time you looked at her. Other than your best friend’s absence, dinner was relatively average. Conversation went on as normal, sharing laughter and smiles between all of you—it was a nice delusion that for a moment, you were all a complete family and you weren’t so enrapt with the heartbreak of knowing these ten humans were targets to the surface.

The children cleared the table as they always did, but rather than having the two oldest do the dishes, you offered to clean up instead. “Why don’t you kids gather up in the living room and have daddy put on a movie for you?” Clearly excited from the reprieve of duty, the orphans all head off, touting something along the lines of Frozen versus Tangled. But your back is already turned away from the family, getting started on putting away leftovers and scraping away scraps on plates and entirely missing the way Kai’s eyes drain from gold to a murky mustard. It misses the way his jaw clenches tightly as he settles the debate for his children, turning on Tangled—the clearly more superior film—before he returns to the kitchen.

The sleeves of your ragline tee are pushed above your elbows as you hum an unknown hymn, unaware of Kai stepping cautiously toward you. Despite having just eaten, the doctor is filled with a renewed hunger entirely as his grip finds limp purchase on your hips much like they had before dinner. “You know, I think we need to have a talk about you calling me ‘daddy’ in front of the children,” he murmurs hotly against the shell of your ear, causing the hair on the back of your neck to stand up. Your blood is torn between running cold from the predatory drawl in his words and boiling from the sudden close contact.

“I-I’m sorry, should I stop?” Kai licks his lips before running his teeth behind your ear and down your neck, suckling on the flesh as he mumbles a response.

“Do you want to?” You contemplate his question in full, though it proves to be a challenge with the way he’s pressing warm, open mouth kisses to your neck and shoulder and the way his hands are kneading at your hips. “Are you afraid of me, sweetheart?” He asks again, his voice a low grumble yet somehow is louder than thunder as it isn’t hidden behind a mask. Had this been months ago when he had asked you an identical question when you were perusing the reconstruction of the orphanage, you would have said yes again. But this wasn’t fear—fear wasn’t a word you associated with Chisaki Kai anymore.

Warmth. Strength. Dedication. Resolve.

Love.

Those were the words you associated with him now.

“No,” you finally respond, shutting off the water before turning to face him. It was a rare, momentous occasion when you got to gaze upon his bare face outside of having meals together. His golden eyes swirl with elation, even more so as your painted fingers brush stray locks that fallen just over his brows. Despite a rather simple appearance, especially in comparison to yours, there’s something elegantly charming about Chisaki Kai that had never gotten the full appreciation he deserved.

Tentatively, you nudge him closer to you from the back of his neck until your lips are pressed against his. For you, it’s an experiment just to feel him in such a manner. For Kai, it’s torture in every sense of the word because it’s a tease after all of the salacious thoughts that have marred his imagination. Taking a leap of faith, his arms tighten around your waist, pulling your body flush against his because right now there isn’t enough contact in the world that would satisfy him.

The once delicate, experimental kiss becomes hungrier at his hand as he’s exploring your mouth with tongue, groaning as he does so. The scent of smoke and fresh cotton wafts into his nostrils between his sharp intakes of breath as he refuses to break contact. It’s as if he’s trying to commit the moment to memory, to burn it into his brain.

As if this was never going to happen ever again.

“Kai,” you whimper out his name, his true name, between pants of breathlessness for the first time. Just as gingerly as before, your fingers are cradling the man before you by the temples. You’re gazing at him fully, unabashedly, as you run a thumb just below his distinct lower lashes. Chisaki’s head dips a bit further into your brief touch before you skip away from him.

“Wait, where do you think you’re going?”

“Come on, let’s go watch the movie with the kids,” you chime, holding a hand out to him as if he didn’t just have you all but pinned to the kitchen sink.

“I was serious when I said we needed to have a talk.” Despite his verbal protest, he takes your hand in his, trailing behind as you saunter off towards the living room where the children are fully invested in the film. Plopping down on an empty space on the couch, you bring Kai with you until he’s nearly resting on top of you. For a moment, he releases your hand, opting to wrap an arm around you to pull you closer. “Back to avoiding me, angel?” The doctor grumbles into your ear, low enough so as not to alert the little ones.

“Figured it would be better to not risk being interrupted,” you whisper back, smirk twisting your lips. Chisaki’s licks his own dry plains, tugging you even closer so that you’re sitting on one of his thighs instead. That predatory miasma that surrounds him on a day to day basis is seeping out of him tenfold, but intimidation when it came to Kai was now a foreign concept to you. It brought back that same seductively dangerous feeling you’d felt the first time you had dinner with the family or, thinking back further, to when you went to scope out the renovations. A part of you wonders if that fear you once had was displaced as soon as you knew he was going to keep your quirk a secret. Displaced with an attraction to him that was easily confused with fear.

A part of you wonders if you ever really did fear him at all.

Maybe you didn’t.

Your mindless thoughts wander to anything other than the screen, casually leaning back so that your head settled on Kai’s clavicle. The doctor looks down at you with a curiosity that is replaced with a warmth that temporarily quelled his lust. As much as he had been fighting his day dreams of fucking you, having you in his arms surrounded by his kids stoked a different fire inside him.

He didn’t want this domestic moment to end.

He hopes that desire translates into the simple gesture of his lips pressing into your hair.

Chisaki Kai was finally caving into his wants and being honest with himself. He doesn’t want this makeshift family to go back to normal when you finally returned to Tropium or when his family returns to the Underground clinic. There isn’t a single cell in his body that believes having you in his lap and curled into his chest feels anything other than right. He’s overwhelmed with the idea, the fantasy, of you moving in and being with the family. Your family—in the collective sense—with Kai by your side with your nine orphans.

During the lantern scene of the film, he presses another kiss where the roots of your hair meet your forehead, lips lingering a little longer than normal. In response, you look up at him curiously to find his muted golden eyes staring right at you. There was a plethora of different things that Chisaki wanted to say to you, especially with the way you look so heavenly in his arms. But he settles with the murmur of, “I don’t want things to go back to normal.”

“Neither do I,” you whisper, gracefully accepting the way Kai’s lips mould over yours almost lovingly. In a sense, it’s your way of finally admitting to yourself the feelings that worked and wriggled their way into your chest. The thought of returning to your lonely little two-bedroom apartment by yourself just seemed daunting now, despite the initial rush to get to work on the remodel. No more waking up to bright eyes at the table for breakfast or coloring with the kids; no more having Kai cook a delectable meal or having him accompany you in the garden for a smoke. It broke your heart just thinking about all you would be missing out on when life returned to somewhat normal, war aside.

The doctor sucks gingerly on your lower lip, nipping slightly with his canines as his tongue wholeheartedly dances with yours. The kiss is full of longing and desire and it made his brain go fuzzy with strange thoughts. A part of him can’t remember ever feeling this recurring surge of wanton lust and infatuation when Kai would kiss his wife and, in regular circumstances, he would have felt guilt over it. But this warm, wet entanglement of your tongues is more loving than he was accustomed to and it excited him. Than you were even accustomed to.

“So stay with me, sweetheart,” the nickname he’s given you sounds almost patronizing. But the admiration that seems to be laced in with it sends a shiver down your spine and leaves the hairs on your arms standing at full attention as the film comes to an end. “Time for bed, children. We’ll be by in a little bit to check on you,” Chisaki calls out to his protesting kids, though making no motion to move from his planted position on the sofa. When he’s certain that all nine of them are out of earshot, he adjusts you in his lap so that both of your legs are draped over his thighs. You call out his name, pulling him from his thoughts that take him far away from the present.

“You said you wanted to talk,” you remind him. A part of you is afraid to start conversation because you aren’t sure what direction he wants to take this. Chisaki could have an entirely different meaning of returning to normal than you, but for you...

You didn’t want to wake up every morning without him being nearby. In the rawest form, that was the only way you could piece it together into a coherent thought. But even more than that, you felt as if there was so much more you wanted to see from Chisaki Kai. He was becoming more open with touch, no longer breaking out into hives when he touched others and even going so far as to hold you, albeit very languidly as he was now. Another part of you wanted to know if he would be beside you when it came to the impending war with the Surface.

Mostly, you just wanted to know if he wanted to be by your side too, even if logic wanted to tell you this was a bad idea.

“Will you stay? With me?” Kai implores quietly. His eyes are locked with yours, the gold shining brighter than ever.

“You say this after I renovate our homes?” A short, lighthearted scoff leaves his lung in lieu of laughter at your attempt of a joke. Because, despite him echoing your own deeper, innermost thoughts, a part of you refused to believe this was reality. As if reality was actually playing a prank on you.

Of course he had thought of that little fact. It was the longing desire he felt in his bones to have your presence that he hadn’t taken into account, but that need burning at the pit of his stomach had outweighed any semblance of logic that urged him to keep his thoughts to himself.

“The kids will grow up eventually and need their own space away from the orphanage. We could always save it for them.”

Answers you were expecting from Chisaki Kai: not that.

Had he invested that much into the idea? To the point where he planned on you still being a part of the orphan’s lives until they were adults?

“‘We’?” You ask. “And what if “we” don’t work, have you considered that?”

“No,” Kai’s voice is clear and calm as ever, exuding the very confidence that once made you tremble, “I want you in every sense of the word. I’ve already said my vows and had my shot at forever. I want that sort of permanence with you and I know that some part of you wants me too.” At a loss for words, you opt to brush the backs of your nails along his cheeks endearingly, trailing them down until your hands find purchase around his neck to bring him close enough that you can feel his lashes tickle your cheekbones. The silence between the two of you was deafening and damning, yet welcoming as it’s broken with him pressing his lips fully against yours.

For a moment, it feels as if the hunger stirring within his gut is satiated—satisfied with the even the tender, loving gesture of pulling you closer still until you’re straddling his lap. As if you were trying to fuse your bodies together because there was no such thing as too much physical contact right now. Kai encircles your waist with his arms, hoisting you up as he motions to stand and causing you to wrap your legs around his midsection. You don’t ask where you’re going; partially because your tongue is too busy just indulging in a private dance with his, partially because it doesn’t matter where he takes you. You’d go with him anywhere, no questions asked.

It’s a challenge and a half maneuvering up the stairs with you anchored around him so tightly—even more so that with every step he took ended up grinding your pelvis along his ever-growing erection. Kai felt liberated this time around, shamelessly rubbing against you this time rather than scurrying off for a cold shower and a five-minute session with his hand. Your eyes open as he unceremoniously tosses you onto the plush blanket of your borrowed bed. Immediately, you’re greeted with the sight of Chisaki Kai hastily shredding off his tee shirt and lounge pants, leaving the doctor in strained boxer briefs.

Briefly, you’re blown away by the sheer beauty of him—like a statue of Adonis come to fruition before your eyes. Even with the uncomfortable twinge in his golden orbs from your unnerving gaze. It was different, to say the least, to have you gawking at him with such adoration when he felt he was the only one doing so. “C’mere,” your voice comes out as a near broken whimper, a call to which Kai heeds graciously. The bed dips as he kneels at the edge, crawling closer until he’s hovering above you. Gingerly, your fingers trace over the smooth skin of his cheeks, tracing down his lips and neck until they ghost over his collarbones.

“Sweetheart,” Kai groans out, snatching your hand in his as it continues to trail further down his bare skin. “As much as I want to bask in the romance of all of this, you called me ‘daddy’ earlier, and I think it’s time you suffer the consequences.”

“Yeah?” You sneer sardonically, pushing into your elbows until you’re both touching nose to nose. “Like it when I call you that?” His breath is hot as it fans over your features, the wanton lust tangled within the golden hues of his irises becoming overwhelmed with feral desire. Kai’s hand that isn’t supporting him over you grips tightly at your baggy tee, pulling harshly to tear at the fabric keeping your bare body from him. For a moment, his breath becomes caged in his chest upon seeing your semi-nude form for the first time. But the moment is flitting as he’s reminded of his aching, hard cock twitching underneath his undergarments.

“Hands and knees, baby,” the slow, torturous movement you give in reply grates at Kai’s nerves, prompting a resounding smack to the ass of your joggers the moment your bottom is visible to him. “Daddy’s already impatient, dear,”

“And what’s Daddy going to do about that?”

Similar to the treatment he gave your shirt earlier, Kai dug his fingers into the waistband of your joggers. Though he did not have nearly as much luck tearing off the thicker material, the gruff motion is enough to expose you, leaving your bare, pulsing core in plain sight while the cloth gathered at your knees. His chest presses against your back, his skin searing hotter than hellfire, as he places languid kisses along your shoulder. “I promise, I’ll spoil you with attention later. But right now, I need you,” his voice is something reminiscent of begging, only amplified by his suddenly bare cock dancing along your slit and smearing pre-cum along it before cautiously slipping the head in.

Throaty groans leave both of your lungs simultaneously. Kai swears up and down that this was heaven manifested into reality. Part of him thinks this is all a dream, the way your walls are squeezing him to tightly as he pushes in centimeter by centimeter. “K-Kai,” you whimper. The calling of his name awakens something gutturally primal within him.

“Uh uh,” the doctor tuts, ceasing his movements. “What’s my name, baby?” In lieu of a response, only pants of shortened breath escape your slackened jaw. There was no way Chisaki Kai was human, you decided. Not with the way his words sent every cell in your body into overdrive or the way his fat girth stretched you so deliciously without even entirely plunging his engorged cock. Not with how, despite his notoriety once proceeding him, he was often blatantly honest with you and certainly not with how utterly enamored he was with you and vice versa. “Say my name, baby, and I’ll give you a reward,”

“D-daddy, please,” you whisper in between breaths. Abiding by his word, Kai works his thick length into you, albeit still slowly, until your bones presses into his pubis and his whole cock carefully bottoms out inside you. His right hand trails up your tummy and dances along the skin of your sternum until his fingers encase your throat gingerly. Keeping still within you, the doctor tugs at your throat until you’re only resting on your spread knees as his lips ghost along the outer shell of your ear while he gives slow, deep, steady thrusts.

“You like having daddy’s fat fucking cock in you, angel? Feel so fucking good around me, yes you do,”

A real poet, Kai was.

Turning your head to face him, your fingers lace themselves in his messy locks and pull his lips to yours in a kiss that is entirely devoid of lust. He can bring the heat all he wants—it was your mission to make sure he understood that you wanted him in more than just sex. Even if the slow torturous withdrawing of his cock was absolutely divine.

And he felt it too. Even with his hand delicately cupping your throat or the way his pelvis greets your plump ass with every thrust or the way your wet walls clench on him as if trying to expel his cock from inside of you. Kai can feel it in the way your nails are digging into the flesh of his arms or in the tufts of breath that leaves your nostrils because he leaves you absolutely breathless. He feels the love, and he wants to bask in it.

Now that he’d quelled his hunger slightly, Chisaki pulls away from your endearing lip lock while simultaneously withdrawing his length from you. A small whimper leaves your lips at the loss before Kai turns you over, pressing your back against the mattress and sliding home once again. The passion and intimacy he feels is overwhelming, boiling his skin through every pore as he bears weight on one arm while the other caresses your cheek. “I meant it, you know,” the murmur dances like air along your own lips, warm breath inviting. “I want you in every possible way. I want to wake up next to you in the morning, experience every season that doesn’t pass for us in the Underground with you.”

“Kai...” in return, you seal you mouth along his, wrapping your arms around him to pull him closer and coaxing him to move. Slow and steady, he withdraws himself from within you before snapping his hips once again until he’s fully sheathed. Each thrust feels like thunder. “M-more,” you choke out, breaking apart your kiss momentarily to beg. His focus shifts down to where you’re connected—where each vein of his throbbing erection greets and becomes acclimated for every crevice within your cavern. Angling his hips along with your own with the assistance of his hand, he manages to welcome that spongy weakness that makes your knees buckle and regurgitate a scream in response.

“Right there, princess?”

“P-please!” The hand under the small of your back moves to hook around your knee, it’s twin mimicking the gesture and leaving you entirely at the mercy of Overhaul whose mission at the moment is to rearrange your insides in an entirely different sense. Pinning your knees to the bed, Kai is at the perfect angle to ram into your g-spot over and over at a rapid, even pace until you’re clenching around him deliciously, silently coercing his orgasm. “Oh my fucking god,”

“Mm, you’re so tight, baby. Ya gonna cum? Gonna cum nice and hard for me? Cum for daddy,” his words are almost enough—almost. And it was as if he knew the filthy, slopping sound of his cock reaming you wasn’t enough. Though whether enough for you or him remained a mystery, his thrusts are becoming erratic as he’s panting and grunting an unabashedly as he chases his release and oxygen. “I love you,” Kai’s voice is broken, “love you so much, just wanna fill you up over and over until your body only knows the taste of me.” And you aren’t sure if it’s his nasty, vile words or the way he is utterly knocking away at your g-spot that is causing you to convulse around him—that brings you over the final hurdle and over the dam. Screams rip past your lungs as your back arches as much as it can from it’s confines while your fingers twitch out of necessity to grip something—anything.

You’re granted no reprieve in that regard, but it matters not with the way Kai is still smacking his hips into yours, dragging out your orgasm even longer while in pursuit for his own. There is no amount of physical contact in this moment that is enough for him, even as he slats his lips over yours and slides his tongue inside your mouth to greet yours. Hips beginning to stutter, Kai is fighting every fiber in his soul—torn between the dichotomy of wanting to cum and stave off his orgasm because he wants to feel the welcoming, convulsing walls of your pussy forever. And though you’d already came at least once, the pressure was building again rapidly from the stimulation of the uneven rhythm of Kai’s hips. Part of you is thankful his tongue is hungrily dancing with yours to keep your screams muted so as not to wake the children down the hall. But the rumbling in his chest from his own throaty groans become overwhelming, forcing him to break away to and let his grunts and slew of curses fly from his mouth freely.

“I love you, Kai,” the moans are just as bad coming from you, but those four words coming from your lips are what do the aforementioned man in. And he can tell there is no lie dripping from a silver tongue here—you mean every ounce of these four little words. For everything that is Chisaki Kai—the former Yakuza leader, the former villain, the doctor, the father—you loved the man before you.

“Fuck! Fuckfuckfuckfuck, ‘m gonna cum,” he wails, the rhythm of his cock head tamping against your womb matching the pacing of his broken speech, “daddy’s gonna cum so fucking deep in you, gonna make you mine forever, angel.” Another hissed out string of profanities pass through as his dick twitches almost violently, shooting out ropes of seed and painting your walls white. You can tell he meant what he said, even in his lustful spew, by the way he leaves his softening erection inside of your spasming cunt and sealing his emission inside until he was almost certain his claim held permanence.

“I meant it too,” you mumble into Kai’s sweaty neck as he collapses on top of you. Though he’s boneless at the moment, having spent all of his energy, you feel the breath of his questioning grunt beside your ear before his face is attempting to look at you while half buried in your pillow. Gingerly, he removes his now flaccid member from you, adjusting himself so that his form molds around you and wraps his arm securely around your stomach.

“You know,” Kai starts off slowly. The rich timber of his voice is thick with exhaust but is warm and welcoming all the same. “I was jealous before.”

“Jealous? Of what?”

“My children love you—a woman who was nothing but a stranger who doesn’t even like kids. They warmed up to you so easily, much easier than they did with me,” there’s a brief pause between his statements, causing you to adjust under his grasp until you’re touching nose to nose with the doctor. His eyes are closed for a moment, his long and feathery lashes greeting the tops of his delicate cheekbones. “So I tried to understand. Tried to figure just why they gravitated towards you.”

“And what did you find?” Peeling back his eyelids, Kai’s rich amber eyes bore into your own. Irises swirling with admiration before the view is flooded with a sudden closeness and the press of his plush lips against yours in the most loving fashion.

Truth be told, he wasn’t sure how to answer.

He had found determination and independence, qualities of a strong woman that his daughters looked up to. Free and proud and brave, he thinks, are the reasons his sons admired you. But there’s something more. There’s a love and warmth that you bring to the family, yet a sternness that doesn’t allow them to run rampant (not that they would under Overhaul’s upbringings) that spoke so motherly to each of his nine children. And somewhere along the way for the last six months that the Clinic had been under remodel, Kai found himself gravitating to all of those exact qualities in you, the envy transforming into an admiration of his own. It was an error in his initial magnetic attraction conspiracy theory; he thought that your fear had changed to attraction when it was his all along.

But Kai’s not always the greatest with words, and the thought of spilling his deepest thoughts of you seems a daunting task that he’d rather replace with kissing you instead. Considering you asked a question, however, he did feel the need to respond with something—anything.

“I found you.”

“Honey, I can still help, you know,” you whine for the umpteenth time, folding your arms over your chest as you stand in the mayoral office of Dabi with your partner. It’s been a year since Todoroki Shouto had burned down Tropium Tattoos and the Underground Clinic and tonight was finally the night that the Underground had planned on mobilizing their forces. It had taken a full year of investigating, planning, building alliances with those on the Surface, and patience for the citizens to finally strike back.

Enough was enough.

All of you had been exiled at one point or another, but now the Surface was trying to exterminate all of you.

“Angel, no,” Kai chides sternly, igniting the twitch on the leader’s face. Granted it had been six months since you and Kai had first declared this little relationship of yours and, as your best friend, Dabi was still slightly hesitant on the idea. Not that his opinion had much weight considering—

“Kai, I am only three months along. I can still fight!”

“Hell no,”

“Absolutely not,” both men snark simultaneously. Best friend or not, personal opinion aside, there was no way in the ninth circle of hell that Dabi was going to let you go to war while you were pregnant. And with Kai being the father, the chances of you getting your way in this moment with him were even slimmer. The doctor pinches the bridge of his nose underneath his black cloth mask with his thumb and middle finger before letting out an annoyed rift of air. “Dabi, I’m gonna take [ name ] home before we go over invasion plans. Do you mind?”

“Nah,” the leader waves his purple and nude hands in dismissal, “besides, we should wait for Hawks to get here before we start all that.” With that, Kai grabs your wrist with his gloved hand and drags you away from the office. He knows you want to fight, and he knows you want to protect your family—all eleven with himself and the embryo included. But as a father with another—biological—one on the way, Chisaki Kai just can’t bring himself to allow you to put yourself in harm’s way.

“Sweetheart,” he calls out, stopping just outside of the currently closed Tropium. The grey and white building looked crisp and clean and everything you wanted it to be but you often found yourself closing up shop early and coming in late to spend more time with your nine children at home. At the very least, you were grateful that your parlor was only a block or two away from the clinic. “I need you here where you can keep our children safe in case anyone slips through the cracks.” Even with his mask on, you can tell that Kai is trembling ever so slightly. The thought of someone making their way into his home and hurting his kids, hurting you, was enough to unleash the beast within.

“I know,” you respond quietly. Using his grip on you to your advantage, you pull the doctor towards you until he’s towering over you and looking down directly into your eyes. “But you know me, always ready to jump headfirst into the fire,” his amber eyes soften, thinking back to a year ago when you had saved Eri from the burning clinic. To think that a year later, you would be living with him and carrying his child and occupying nearly every cell in his brain.

“It’s your turn to watch the kids,” he jokes pulling down his mask below his chin to slat his lips over yours lovingly. It’s only half a joke—he knows better than anyone you would do anything to protect them. He’s known that since day one.

“You better come back to us,” your demand is quiet and breathless and laced more with concern than it is with threat. The thought of Kai dying while on the Surface has plagued you for the last six months, even more so when you found out you were pregnant. He knew it too, knew how much worry and panic had disturbed your sleep when the realization that war was an option had settled in. Despite the knowledge that he carried about different afflictions and ailments; Kai had been at a loss for how to quell your anxiety. He hopes that circumstances aside, him reaching into the right-side pocket of his heavy, army green coat and pulling out the small black velvet box is the correct move. Gingerly holding up said box until it’s in your line of sight, he takes a step back before peeling back the lid to showcase a single, solitaire diamond set in a simple gold band.

“I promise you I will come back. And when this is all over, we can finally enjoy our life in peace, so long as you’ll have me.”

159 notes · View notes

petri808 · 4 years ago

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N4+Inukag Ex’s Still in Love @liz8080 its angst 🙃

It had been a year since the break up, but Inuyasha was no closer to moving on and according to his best friend, neither was Kagome. He only knew what his ex was going through because their best friends were caught in the middle and providing updates. Poor Miroku and Sango, Inuyasha was sure they thought he and Kagome were idiots by this point.

Not that it was from a lack of trying, because they both were trying... maybe a little too hard to start dating again. Inuyasha had tried the typical avenues like bar hopping and even posting a profile on dating sites. But if irony wasn’t such a bitch, every single site he tried would match him to none other than Kagome Higurashi. It was fate, Miroku would coax the idea onto his friend. Yeah, well fate didn’t have to deal with reality and they were two stubborn fools unwilling to relent.

At the bars, Inuyasha’s handsome hanyo looks gained a lot of attention and the night would always start off right. Every single woman in the place took a chance to talk to him. If he liked what he saw, he’d give them a shot to butter him up, lulling them in with his molten amber eyes. Flirty conversations and flowing alcohol made for... women making excuses and leaving him to walk out single. Every. Damn. Time. Because something always sparked his ex’s introduction to the conversation. It turned out once Inuyasha was past the tipsy stage, all he wanted to do was talk about Kagome. Good or bad. It didn’t matter and according to Miroku during one very drunken evening, he’d even cried. If it wasn’t for the blackmail video, he wouldn’t have believed it.

Okay fine! So he still loved the woman! They’d been together for seven years, that’s not something you just get over quickly! She wanted kids and he was hesitant... it wasn’t a no, but it wasn’t a yes. That’s when Kagome broke up with him.

Inuyasha swirled the drink in his hand with a low growl. “You know our world isn’t always safe,” he admonished his co-worker, a fellow Yokai named Kouga. “And she’s human, the child could be born human, and what if I can’t protect them both?”

“Stupid,” the Wolf yokai sneered back. “You’d lose the woman you love over fear? The Taisho’s son showing weakness, that’s pathetic.”

“Bite your tongue wolf. It’s not just about fear and you know it.”

“Yes, it is.” Kouga countered. “Modern times or not, that woman has spiritual blood coursing through her veins, so an offspring will most likely be a full hanyo. I suspect Kagome senses this, so it is your own fears that’s overruling you.”

“Tch, I didn’t come here for a lecture!” Inuyasha stood up from his bar stool. But as he turned to leave, his phone rang.

It was Miroku. “Something happened Inuyasha. Kagome was attacked on her way home by a yokai. No one knows who. She’s been taken to Shinkon Medical and she’s... in a coma.”

“What?!”

“It’s really bad, you should get here as soon as possible.”

Inuyasha doesn’t respond and quickly rushed out of the bar with Kouga hot on his heels.

“What’s going on?!” Kouga questioned.

“Something attacked Kagome.”

“Oh, fuck.” Kouga could see Inuyasha’s demon side manifesting, purple stripes along his cheeks and red eyes replacing gold. It must be serious.

When they arrived at the hospital, Miroku took them up to the room Kagome was in. Not that Inuyasha needed his help to track the woman’s scent, but thanks to Kouga’s steadfast hand in his shoulder, he stayed cognizant enough to follow quietly so as to not scare the staff. Sango stood just outside of the door ready for their arrival.

“Brace yourself Inu,” the woman warned, “she’s... it’s a miracle she’s still alive.”

He simply nodded shakily and walked through, leaving his friends to wait. There really was no way to brace himself for what he saw. Kagome was almost unrecognizable. She had tubes and wires hooked up to beeping machines that flashed her life on a screen. It was an unnerving sound in an otherwise deadly silent room. Her arms were all bandaged up, one leg in a cast with pins and metal sticking out, but her head... his fists clenched tighter. Her forehead was wrapped in gauze, face bruised and swollen, her nose and mouth with tubes coming out of them to keep her alive. Even in the dim lighting, he could see the blood, smelled the dried blood stuck in her hair.

It was his nightmares turned reality.

That’s when he smelt it, the lingering stench of a familiar panther yokai left on Kagome’s body. Had this been a targeted attack? Anger surged to the forefront. Inuyasha leaned down and took her hand gently while placing a soft kiss on her forehead. Regardless of reason, this yokai would pay dearly!

Inuyasha growled and sped off faster then any of his stunned friends could stop him, out of the hospital. Kouga called from behind in pursuit, but his demon side had taken over and nothing could stop him. He leapt over buildings, speeding through alleyways before humans could even register what had passed them by. There was no way to know exactly where the rogue could be, but he had a territory to start in.

The panther yokai had always hated the inu’s reign over the central part of Japan. They fought and lost an epic battle during the edo period, forever retaining a grudge. But this was a brazen attack, the first since those long ago days, and on a human?! It was unforgivable. It was because of the inu’s control that the human world was safe from the yokai inhabiting it. Most of the other’s, like Kouga’s wolf clan fell in line without any problems, and peace remained. Oh, this panther will pay dearly for trying to kill the chosen mate of the Inu no Taisho’s son!! This wasn’t the first time the two men will clash, but it will be the last.

From a rooftop, Inuyasha perched as he quickly scanned the dock area. The yokai was alone. Perfect. With a deep roar, he dropped down on top of the male before it could take off. Claws and fangs unhinged as the two males battled. Despite being a hanyo, Inuyasha’s blood was no different than a full-blooded yokai, and worse, his adrenaline and anger was without remorse due to the bloodied images of his girl lying in a hospital bed to fuel his rage. If there were any humans in this desolate part of town at night, it must have sounded like the unholy blood bath it was.

Over and over, Inuyasha tore his claws and teeth into the panther yokai’s flesh. Though he sustained some injuries of his own, Inuyasha felt nothing but the pure hatred coursing through his veins. Kouga had finally arrived as well, his screams to his friend to stop, deaf in his ears. His blood lust had taken control.

“Stop!!” Kouga roared and jumped onto Inuyasha’s back. He hooked his arms around both of his friends shoulders, lifting, and wrapping his hands behind the man’s head to restrain them from moving freely. Inuyasha thrashed hard against the hold, but Kouga refused to let go, continuously growling at the man to stop resisting. “You’re gonna kill him!”

“He deserves it!” Inuyasha countered.

“Agreed! But that’s not for you to decide my friend, so stop! He’s done!”

“Let me go Kouga!”

“Only if you’ll stop resisting. Think about Kagome, idiot! I’ll take the panther to your father for punishment, you need to get back to her!”

At hearing Kagome’s name, the human side of Inuyasha began taking back control from his inner demon. Kouga was right. If they were caught like this by authorities, being thrown in jail for murder would do her no good. Inuyasha let out a long exhale as his body slowly transformed back to normal, and he slumped in his friends arms. “You’re right.”

“I know I am, idiot.” Kouga let him go. “Now get out of here, and make sure you clean up! You don’t wanna scare the hospital people to death!”

“Yeah, yeah,” the hanyo growled, though he appreciated his friends help. “Tell my dad what’s going on and I’ll contact him as soon as I can.”

“Will do.”

It didn’t take him long to get back to his own house to clean up, and it was only then did Inuyasha realize just how far he’d gone that night. What little of his clothes was left undamaged was soaked in the blood of the panther yokai. He threw it all away and showered the filth from his body, then bandaged his wounds as best he could. By morning they’ll probably be healed, but with the adrenaline gone, the pain had also kicked in. He’d still do it all again in a heartbeat.

When he shambled back to the hospital, of course Miroku and Sango were concerned with his appearance. He assuaged their worries before flopping painfully into a chair at Kagome’s bedside.

“The doctors say she has stabled,” Sango explained now that he had time to listen. “But the shock has left her in a coma, so now we can only wait for her to wake up...” the woman paused, “there’s a small chance, Kagome may never wake up.”

Inuyasha shook his head refusing to entertain such a suggestion. “She’s strong, I know she will,” he spoke even though inside he wasn’t so sure. He just needed to hear those words of reassurance.

“You’re right.” Sango agreed. “We think so too.”

“Hang in there.” Miroku patted the hanyo’s shoulder. “We’ll be back in the morning to check on you.”

“Thanks,” Inuyasha nodded weakly.

Now that he was there, the couple left him alone, safe in the knowledge that no one would bother Kagome anymore. So, at the sound of the door closing behind him, the full weight of emotions engulfed Inuyasha. The guilt tore away at what little sanity held him together. He blamed himself for her state. If he hadn’t been so stupid and stubborn to leave her alone, that panther would never have dared to strike at Kagome. She was strong, but couldn’t have fended off a surprise attack by herself.

“I’m so sorry,” the tears broke free as he held her hand tightly in his own. “Please don’t leave me, Kagome. I’ll do anything! You want kids? I’ll give you all the pups you desire, just please come back to me. I can’t— I can’t lose you. It shouldn’t have taken something like this to make me realize that I’m nothing without you.”

Inuyasha thought the pain of losing his mother at a young age was hard, but this was a thousand times worse. His soul was bonded to Kagome by choice and his heart felt shattered at the thought of never hearing her voice again. If she died, a piece of him would die along with her.

Night turned to day, and days passed by with little to no change in Kagome’s condition. Inuyasha rarely left her side, except to take care of bodily functions or shower at the behest of friends and staff. Her family, his family, and their friends visited, but at night it was just her and him alone between the stale white walls of the hospital room. For two weeks, Inuyasha didn’t get a full night sleep. Exhaustion forced him to pass out at times, only to be awaken by nightmares. To suffer along side Kagome was his penitence as far he believed.

He clung to the smallest of improvements. By week three, all the bruising and abrasions were healing well, and Kagome was taken off of the breathing tubes since she was doing it on her own. She was still fed intravenously with a high protein diet to give her body the fuel it needed to mend. To pass the time, Inuyasha would talk to her about everything and nothing, sometimes telling her stories of ancient tales, or just reading the newspaper aloud. The doctors had told him coma patients can sometimes hear them talking, so it was worth a shot.

“It’s crazy right?” Inuyasha chuckled if only to keep his sanity intact. “I’d give anything to hear you yell at me right now.” He sighed. “Just call me an idiot, because I deserve it.”

“You’re not... an idiot.”

Inuyasha sat up stunned at the beautiful sound of Kagome voice. It was soft and raspy, but music to his ears nonetheless. He squeezed her hand. “Yes, I am,” he smiled. “But it’s okay, as long as I still have you— if you’ll still have... me? I’ll give you what ever you want, Kagome. Kids, anything, just please stay with me. I love you too much to let you go again.”

This time it was Kagome who squeezed his hand weakly. “I love you too, you big idiot.”

Inuyasha leaned over and kissed her forehead. “Now there’s the woman I fell in love with.” Everything was gonna be just fine...

The banner is for my AO3

#inuyasha #inukag #kagome higurashi #inukag au #inukag fan fic #inukag fanfiction #ex’s still in love #angst

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peach-the-owl · 4 years ago

Note

Maybe one with Kima and Allura? The reader is an artist and one day they start to leave little notes with sketches for them in random places where they can find them and it's just them being a good friend trying to make them smile during the day.

Aww, I love Kima and Allura so much, their relationship is just so precious 🥰 I hope this turned out well

Also might’ve let myself get carried away with the idea, it’s a bit long 😅

Little Notes

Allura & Kima & Artist!Reader (Platonic)

You were making your way over to Allura's for a visit knowing she had been stressing out over Kima being missing from her mission in Kraghammer and hoping to calm some of those nerves. You walk up to the doors of her tower and give a knock, after a small wait the door opens to reveal the arcanist herself.

"(Y/n)! It’s been awhile, how are you?" She asks slightly surprised by your sudden appearance.

"Hello Allura, sorry about not informing you of my arrival." You sheepishly scratch at the back of your head in apology. "Do you mind if I come in? If not I can just-"

"No no, it’s alright." She stops you and steps out of the way for you to enter the tower. You welcome yourself in and go to sit in your usual spot whenever you’d visit. "I’m actually glad you decided to pop in, I’ve needed a distraction what with everything going on." Allura admits. At this point you pull out your sketchbook and pencil you always carry with you and start to add some fine line work to a piece you’d been working on for weeks now, never seeming to get it quite right.

"I know you’ve been stressing over this, which is exactly why I wanted to come over. So why don’t you tell me about what you’ve been up to recently." You suggest, not looking away from your drawing. You knew this wouldn’t bother Allura because for the years you've known each other, while it looked like you weren’t paying attention to the conversation you actually were, listening very carefully to every word being spoken to you. Allura went on to tell you about her work with the council and some of the worries she has for Kima, you adding in your own thoughts to the conversation every now and again. She then told you about her allies, the adventuring group known as Vox Machina that she asked to help find Kima, you knew about this group and what they did for the royal family but didn’t know them as personally as Allura did.

"I just hope nothing terrible has happened." Allura finally concludes after her long rant. You give an amused hum and sigh, taking proper notice that you’d wandered away from your project and had several random doodles covering the page. However instead of hindering you this placed a wonderful idea into your head.

"Relax Ally, if these people are as capable as you say then they’ll find Kima in no time. Just relax and breath, alright." You look up at her this time seeing her nod and take a few deep breaths. While she was distracted with that you carefully tear out some of the doodles, writing little messages of encouragement on the back of them and stand up. You sneakily slipping one of the notes between the cushion of the chair having it stick out just enough to be noticeable but not too obvious. "It’s been lovely, thank you for having me over but it’s getting late. I should really be making my way home."

"Allow me to walk you out." Allura offers which you happily accept, sneakily hiding the little drawings along the way in various places for Allura to hopefully find later. "I really appreciated the visit, helps to confide in a friend. You’re welcome back anytime." Allura gives you a quick hug that you return before the two of you part ways until next time.

It had been a while since your little visit and felt it only fair to check in and see how everything was going. When you arrive you’re relieved to see that Kima had returned in one piece, while Allura was occupied with thanking Vox Machina for their efforts you quietly shuffle over. You then watch as Kima and Allura share a small moment by staring at each other before they run into each other’s arms, you smile a little at this before deciding to quickly jump in.

"No it’s fine, just pretend I’m not here." You joke gaining everyone’s attention, you walk over to the two and without missing a beat Kima gives you a playful punch in the arm. "I swear to Bahamut Kima, you’re gonna break my arm one of these days." You slightly hiss from the pain.

"Nah if I meant to do that, it'd already be broken." Kima says slyly, you roll your eyes before properly hugging your friend, slipping a little note you’d made into her armour.

"Well now who’s this one?" The red Dragonborn asks. After some proper introductions with the group Allura invites everyone into her tower for tea, you hang back a second unsure if you should join them or just head home early.

"Don’t just stand there, the offer stands for you too." Allura gives a warm smile and ushers you inside.

"I know I just didn’t want to feel like I was overcrowding the place, plus I’m sure you’d like to catch up with Kima." You say meekly. You make your way up and automatically go to sit in your usual spot, pulling out your sketchbook as both a distraction and to continue on a commission for a client you’d received. Enjoying some tea and listening to the conversation between everyone else, Kima leans over your shoulder to look at your work.

"The hell is that supposed to be?" She asks quietly, staring at your drawing.

"Art." You reply cheekily. You catch her rolling her eyes at the corner of yours.

"I know what it is, but what is it?"

"The client asked for something abstract, so this is the result so far." You precede to erase and redraw a few of the lines you’d made until you felt satisfied.

"I don’t get it." You stifle a laugh, Kima didn’t really have an artistic eye but you appreciated that she at least tried to understand your craft whenever the two of you got to interact with each other.

"Shouldn’t you be involved in this conversation? Not to be rude or anything but it sounds important." You look up at Kima now to which she scratches at the back of her head, you can now see the blush on her cheeks.

"His questions were making me a little uncomfortable." She gestures over to the goliath, Grog. You give a reassuring pat her on the shoulder, sneaking another note into her armour before you realize something.

"Sorry to interrupt but what time is it?" After some fumbled reply’s Allura gives you her best estimation. "I have to go, I’ve got client to meet today and sooo much work to do. Thank you for the tea Allura, it was lovely to meet you all and thank you for safely bringing Kima back." You give a bit of a rushed goodbye as you gather up your things and hurry out of the tower, pausing briefly at the door to hide one more note for Allura to find later.

Time came and went, work piled up leaving you busy to no end, the only contact you had with your friends being the letters you’d write each other telling of what you’d been up to. However once the dragons came your world went crashing down, you had longed for a break away from all the work on your shoulders but not like this. Your home was in shambles, your hard work that took you months to complete destroyed in seconds, you considered yourself lucky to have made it out alive. Now you were but another refugee in Whitestone praying for a miracle while doodling in your sketchbook, the only thing that survived with you albeit slightly charred at the corners.

"Oh my gosh! You’re alive!" You hear a familiar voice call, looking over to see Kima run up to you. You give each other hug and once you let go Kima punches your arm.

"Every time I swear." You sigh with a small laugh, rubbing your arm.

"Gotta keep that arm strength up for your art stuff." Kima jokes, trying to lighten the mood a bit. "Anyways, do you know where Ally is?" You shake your head.

"I don’t, but I assume she’s alive, that woman’s a tough cookie." Kima nods in agreement.

"Would you like to help us?" Keyleth asks.

"Me? No I couldn’t, I’ve never really been the adventuring type, I much prefer swinging around a paintbrush over a sword." You politely decline the offer. "But I would like to advise one thing," you pat Kima's shoulder, once again slipping in a note you’d made into her armour in hopes of bringing encouragement. "Don’t do anything rash that could get you killed." Kima gives a quiet "yeah I know" and with that you watch the party continue on their way.

You did what you could with what little resources you had to build up and regain some normality to your life, starting a little side business of making motivational cards for anyone needing an extra pick me up. Folks seemed to really like it, each card having a personalized picture and message written on it, doing what you could to help keep hope alive in these trying times. When you met up with Kima and Allura again Allura was relived to see you were still alive and standing strong. They invited you over to the abode they were staying at together, which put a new idea into your head. Before you arrived for your visit with them you had made more of your little notes for them, this time making a few that you hoped would help spark the romance between the two you’ve seen since day one (secret wingman). When you arrived they gave you a quick tour of the place, leaving opportunities for you to slip the notes into various places around the house, making you wonder if this time they were doing it on purpose having finally caught on to your little gimmick. You all sat down and sipped away at some tea or coffee while talking about the actions going forward, as the evening came you bid your friends a goodnight and made your way back to your temporary living quarters…

More time flew by, the Chroma Conclave was since defeated and Emon was slowly rebuilding itself, a time of peace finally setting in and you had a lot of work ahead of you if you were ever going to be able to buildup your home from scratch. The only downside was you didn’t have the gold to pay for everything, your work as an artist didn’t always pay a lot but it was enough to keep you stable but having to pay to acquire materials for the house and art studio was another story entirely. Your then approached by two very familiar people.

"Allura! Kima! So good to see you both again. I’m sorry I haven’t been able to write or visit often lately, been quite busy trying to re-establish myself." You greet your friends and notice the large bag Kima's carrying.

"It’s alright we’ve been rather busy ourselves with everything going on. We actually wished to talk with you." Allura gives you a gentle smile.

"Well I’d normally like to welcome you into my home, but as you can see it’s… not much of a home yet." You half-joke gesturing to the still ruined state of your house, the broken paintings you once had all having been stripped away when the Cinder King still ruled.

"That was actually one of the things we wished to speak with you about, Kima if you would." She turns to Kima who in turn hulls the bag over her shoulder letting it clatter to the ground, and you can hear the jangling of coin inside. "I believe this should help accommodate everything you need for your home and work." You stare jaw dropped at the bag filled to the brim with gold.

"I-This is very generous of you. I simply can’t just take your money." You say out of shock at the large gold pile in front of you.

"Think of it as payment for all you’ve done for us." Allura smiles and gives you an expectant look.

"All I’ve done? I haven’t really done anything to help."

"Sure you have, back when Kima was missing finding those papers with the little drawings and messages really helped keep me calm and cheer me up through all the stress." Allura explains.

"Yeah, or the ones you managed to slip into my armour. Little distracting at first but invigorating when I was in a tough spot in battle." Kima jumps in. You just smile, all you were doing was trying to be nice and encouraging to your friends unknowing of the effects it apparently lead to.

"Still, not all is from us." Allura suddenly cuts into your thoughts, you look at her confused. "That was the second thing we wanted to talk with you about. Some of this is a sort of upfront payment for a few commissions from our friends, half now to help you and half later once you've completed their requests."

"There’s more!?" You were almost lightheaded from the information, but shake it off and refocus yourself. "I’d love to, please fill me in on all the details."

"First off Keyleth asked for a landscape piece of her home in Zephrah, Keyleth will easily help bring you to and from her home whenever you’re ready. Next Percy wanted a portrait made for castle Whitestone, he said he’d fill in the rest of the details upon your arrival. Finally," Allura gives a bit of a sigh, "there’s Taryon… he wants a, and I quote, 'self portrait made with nothing but the finest oil paints you can get your hands on for the Slayer's Cake.'"

"So basically the plan is to visit Whitestone once my home's rebuilt. That should be fine, one question though, who’s Taryon?"

"Trust me, you’ll know who he is when you meet him."

"Sounds like quite the character." You say with a hint of nervousness. "Well if that’s everything, I should get to work. Thank you again for everything." You go to collect the heavy bag of gold only to pause when you hear Kima speak up.

"Ally did you still wanna… you know ask about the thing?" She had leaned closer to Allura to ask but you still heard her.

"What thing?" You question to which Allura perks up a bit in realization.

"I almost completely forgotten. Right, there was one more, very special request." You look at the two in silence, Allura walks up to you and takes one of your hands in hers. "(Y/n), Kima and I have a very important and special request of you." You just nod and wait for her to continue. "We were wondering if you could make us something special for… for our wedding." You stare wide eyed in awe.

"You two are getting married? That’s amazing! About time too." You cheer.

"Not so loud please, we just want a simple and private wedding you know, a few eye witnesses for the event. You don’t have to make anything grand, if anything we’d like what you make to be similar to the notes you’ve always left us." You press your hands together and hold back the urge to just scream to the heavens in happiness for them. When you manage to calm yourself enough you look back that the couple and give them a large smile.

"I’d be honoured to make something for your wedding." You give them both a hug and reset your sights on your shambled home. "Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got a house to get built."

"Hold on, I still have one more thing for you." Kima interrupts this time. Before you can ask you feel a punch impact your arm, you suck back the pain as you rub the spot she hit. "Alright now your free to start." She gives you a smug look.

"Every. Single. Time." You playfully glare back. You had a long road ahead of you and you were certain it’d only be a matter of time before the peace is disturbed again but for now you wanted to focus on the present. Like you said, you had a lot of work to do.

#critical role #critical role & reader #vox machina #vox machina & reader #allura #allura vysoren #kima #kima of vord #allura x kima #allura & reader #kima & reader #npc appreciation month #nothing romantic here

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aspenroman · 4 years ago

Text

and i saw sparks (jaque x mc)

Summary: MC struggles to pick up the pieces after her catastrophic fight with Jaque.

Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort

Word Count: 2515

A/N: I caved and bought VIP and binged Ms. Match. I adored it, it was so fucking funny but I wish there was more angst. This is my continuation of Chapter 12 and 13 but with more sadness. Inspired by the song “sparks” by coldplay. bold and italicized words are lyrics from the song

did i drive you away? i know what you’ll say

MC can’t focus on anything besides the rushing of blood in her ears. Her entire nervous system is overwhelmed by everything going on, especially the betrayal by Jaque. Her dad has disappeared, run off somewhere and instead of being able to chase after him, she’s stuck here with her, in a dumb argument.

“You threw Veronica, my dad, me, and your own integrity under the bus tonight, Jaque. You can’t talk your way out of this one,” MC screams.

Jaque rolls her eyes, “You backed me into a corner! I had no choice! No good choice! Veronica likes your dad! A lot! Richard was the only one who might be able to win against that connection.”

you’ll say, “sing one we know”

“Veronica could be happy with my dad. That’s what she asked us to find her. Love. I can’t believe you forgot what this is all about.”

Jaque laughs, her annoyingly beautiful face contorting into a sneer, “No, you forgot what this is all about.”

She began to pace as she spoke, practically spinning in place as she huffs. MC watches on, her fists clenched.

“When does what I want get to matter? When do I get to live my dreams? Why do I have to fight you for the position of my dreams?” Jaque shouts, her voice cracking at the end with emotion.

i promise you this, i’ll always look out for you

Deep down, MC feels sympathy for her. But the twinge of sympathy is buried by overflowing anger and hurt. She pushes any kind feelings aside, focusing instead on her rage.

“You’re insane,” MC breathes.

i say “oh”, i say “oh”

Jaque turns on her, laughing bitterly, “Insane? I’m insane? What’s insane is that you managed to blunder your way to the finale. I spent a decade earning my position, you’re lucky I brought you to the gala. I’m the only reason you’re here.”

“Lucky? I don’t feel very lucky to have met you right now,” MC shakes her head, “I really thought you were more than...more than this. I thought you were more than the woman I met forever ago. I thought you had morals, I thought you had a heart, I thought...”

“You thought what?” Jaque’s voice lowers from a shout, but her tone is still strained with frustration.

my heart is yours, it’s you that i hold on to

“I thought you loved me, the same way I love you,” MC smiles weakly, but her eyes water.

Jaque doesn’t meet her eyes. MC takes a step forward and Jaque steps back.

“Well, you thought wrong. It was always about the competition, love was never in the equation,” Jaque says tersely, ��what we had wasn’t love. It was lust.”

yeah that’s what i do

“You’re telling me you took me to meet your mom just so Richard could get those flowers? You’re telling me all those times you showed up unannounced, all those secret glances and touches were fake? All a part of some elaborate plan?” MC questions.

“Yeah,” Jaque still doesn’t meet her eyes, “and you played right into my plans. I barely had to lift a finger, you were too busy falling to realize I was never going to catch you.”

MC freezes, the words finally sinking in. She can feel the gazes of hundreds of people on her, watching her heart shatter into billions of pieces. Some sadistic part of her hopes that the fragments manage to hurt Jaque, but MC knows that’s not really how this works. She knows she gave her heart to someone who was never really hers.

It makes sense now. All the dancing around labels, all the sneaking around in favor of “not breaking the rules”. All the things Jaque spew about her family, in an effort to get MC to trust her. Jaque was right about one thing, she had more experience professionally. And in that moment, it seemed to MC that Jaque used every technique to get MC to think they were perfect matches.

i say “oh”, i cry “oh”

MC can’t get her brain to form words, all she can concentrate on is not falling completely apart. Her eyes sting, but she doesn’t look up, she can’t. Instead, she trains her gaze on the road a few feet away. She doesn’t say anything as she goes, she just starts in one direction.

Jaque yells after her, but the words don’t even phase her. In fact, MC can’t even remember what she said. She walks for miles, away from the gaudy life of the rich Upstate New Yorkers and back toward where she thinks the city is. It takes almost an hour before she spots a cab and manages to flag it down. It’s a miracle she even finds one, and she gets in and mumbles her address.

She hugs herself in the back of the cab, eyes staring unseeingly out the window. Soon enough, the bright lights of the city that never sleeps come into view. She thinks it should be a comfort, but it doesn’t help. When MC finally gets to her place, she pays the fare and stumbles up into her apartment.

As soon as the door is unlocked, she walks inside and slams it behind her. MC barely manages to lock it before her legs give out and she crumbles to the ground. Her chest heaves for breath, her throat closing up as she panics. Tears stream down her cheeks, unable to control herself anymore. Her nails dig into her palms, trying desperately to calm herself down.

yeah, i saw sparks

She’s had panic attacks before, more so in the past few months because of the matchmaking business. Although then she had Jaque to call up and now she has no one. She can’t rationalize how Jaque would be willing to call her at 2am, to hold her through breakdowns, and not care an ounce about her.

yeah, i saw sparks

MC tries to intellectualize her feelings, tries to calm herself down the way Jaque taught her to, but nothing works. Nothing works because everything reminds her of Jaque and Jaque is the one causing her this pain. Her heart aches and for a second, she thinks she might be dying as her chest tightens. A pain from behind her sternum makes it hard to breathe and she loses her breath, before it releases in a big sob.

She’s not okay.

---

Maggie tries to come over the next day, but MC can’t face her. She ignores Maggie’s desperate knocking, pretending that she’s asleep and turns her phone off completely. The rest of the weekend passes in a daze, MC unable to do anything but stare at the ceiling and dwell in her feelings.

When Monday rolls around, MC knows it’s time to pull herself together. She doesn’t know how she will, but she has to.

“No competition is worth this,” she murmurs to herself as she pulls on her favorite blouse and a pair of dress pants. She fixes her hair in the bathroom mirror, putting on makeup to cover the bags underneath her eyes. Her eyes are still swollen and a bit red, but she tries not to draw attention to them.

She finally turns her phone on as she enters the building, her phone vibrating with a billion messages. Most are from Maggie, while some are surprisingly from Jaque. MC doesn’t even bother reading them as she sees the text from Veronica, summoning her to her office.

and i saw sparks

MC knocks on the office door and after a second, she enters. Unsurprisingly, Jaque is already there, engaged in deep conversation with Veronica. They both turn to her as she enters.

“Where have you been?” Veronica speaks, “I’ve been trying to contact you all weekend.”

“Family stuff, won’t happen again,” MC lies, forcing on a smile.

“Good,” Veronica pinches the bridge of her nose, “onto more pressing matters, we’ve had an unexpected request from-”

Veronica keeps talking, but MC tunes her out. Instead, she keeps her eyes glued to the space behind Veronica’s head. MC can feel Jaque’s intense gaze on her, but she refuses to look at her. She doesn’t think she can bear it right now.

“Dismissed,” Veronica finishes and MC nods, swiftly leaving the room. She walks briskly down the hall and into her office.

Sunlight streams through her windows. Without hesitation, MC slams the blinds closed, plunging the room into darkness. She closes and locks her office door before settling into her chair. The room feels colder somehow, without the presence of either Maggie or Jaque.

MC takes a shaky breath, resting her elbows on the table. She closes her eyes, putting her head between her hands. The darkness of the room brings her comfort. She doesn’t know how much time she spends like that, before she finally pulls herself together.

Turning on her computer, she searches the database for the person Veronica was talking about. MC missed most of the debriefing, but luckily the system had already assigned the client to her and Jaque. She spends some time going through the man’s profile, making notes in a separate document.

Hours pass like that, MC hunched over her computer and trying to make sense of this “unmatchable” person and finding people who might like him. She has spreadsheet after spreadsheet, trying to do things the analytical way. Jaque’s way, her brain reminds her and it stirs up a bitter feeling.

“I can’t fucking do this,” MC mumbles, standing up from her chair. She can’t matchmake when her own love life is in shambles, when every piece of advice she used and gave to other people made her blind. How can she give advice out, when no one loves her? She has no prospects anymore, it’s pathetic.

MC paces back and forth, trying to decide what to do. Suddenly, there’s a knock at the door and she freezes.

yeah, i saw sparks

“I know you’re in there,” Jaque’s voice rings out, “everyone else already went home. It’s almost seven.”

MC glances at her phone, to see Jaque’s words are true. She doesn’t even feel hungry, even though she hasn’t eaten today. She just feels empty. Without saying anything, MC sits down in front of the door, resting her back against it.

“Can you unlock the door? Can we talk, please?” Jaque pleads.

“I don’t want to talk to you,” MC says plainly, her voice hoarse still from their screaming match.

“I get it,” Jaque’s voice is softer and MC can hear her sit down on the other side of the door, “just give me five minutes, that’s all I ask.”

“Okay,” MC concedes, closing her eyes.

“I lied on Friday, okay? I was angry and I took it out on you. Veronica’s been like...like family to me. I thought that maybe if her and Richard could get back together, it would be like fixing my parents’ divorce. And I... I was jealous. You’re a really good matchmaker, like really good. And, it’s scary,” Jaque tells her.

“This competition isn’t worth it,” MC ignores most of her statement, “you can have the CEO spot. I’m quitting anyways.”

“What?” Jaque says.

“If I can’t even keep my personal life from falling apart, I shouldn’t be a matchmaker,” MC’s voice cracks, “everything I’ve told my clients, I followed and it didn’t work out. I shouldn’t be here.”

“You should be here, you deserve to be here, are you...are you crying?” Jaque’s voice is surprisingly gentle.

“No,” MC sniffles, tears running down her cheeks.

“Please, just open the door MC, let me explain,” Jaque murmurs, “please baby.”

MC rubs at her eyes, taking in a shaky breath as she stands up and reluctantly unlocks the door. She takes a step back. The door gently swings open, light from the hall flooding into the room.

Jaque is silhouetted by the light, and MC hates how effortlessly put together she seems. Still, when Jaque takes a step forward, MC sees the tears in her eyes.

sing it out

Jaque takes one look at her and then breaks out into sobs. Alarmed, MC’s eyes widen as Jaque’s shoulders shake. She takes a hesitant step forward before wrapping her arms around her. Jaque leans into the embrace.

“I lied, okay? I lied,” Jaque says through sobs, “I love you, I love you more than I’ve ever loved anyone in my life and I thought that if I just pushed you away I could win. But I can’t, I can’t deny what you make me feel. This competition isn’t worth losing you, nothing is worth losing you. You’re...you’re my match, MC. As soon as you left on Friday, I ran after you. I got into the first cab and made my way to your apartment. But I couldn’t even take a step inside, I’m a coward, okay? I...I thought pushing you away would solve my problems. But that’s not how this work, love isn’t something you can hide. Fuck the competition, fuck the CEO role, fuck everything. None of that means anything to me, if I can’t have you.”

Jaque clings to her, her fingertips digging into MC’s shoulder blades. MC is content with letting Jaque hurt her, if only to feel her in her arms one last time.

“You really hurt me, Jaque, one apology won’t fix that,” MC says.

“I know, but would it help if we have makeup sex?” Jaque jokes before sniffling.

“You’re on thin ice,” MC rolls her eyes.

“...That wasn’t a no,” Jaque tells her.

MC pulls back, hitting her on the arm. Jaque yelps before a soft smile breaks out on her face.

“Just please stay here, even if you don’t want to take me back, that’s okay. Just please stay with the company, with Veronica, with-, with me,” Jaque says to her, eyes sparkling.

MC mulls it over before she nods, “Okay.”

“Can I kiss you, please?” Jaque says desperately.

MC rolls her eyes again before grabbing onto Jaque’s collar and pulling her close. Their lips meet, the taste of mint toothpaste mixing with the salt from their tears. It’s a slow, gentle kiss and MC is the first one to break it.

“Did you just brush your teeth?” MC murmurs.

Jaque grins, “Maybe.”

MC lets out a quiet laugh, “You’re a dork.”

“But I’m your dork,” Jaque says.

“You act like I forgive you already, one kiss won’t change that,” MC tells her honestly.

“I know, but it doesn’t hurt,” Jaque smiles before kissing her again.

When they finally pull away to breathe, Jaque grins at her. MC smiles up at her, a half-smile but it’s the most she can muster. The hurt from Jaque’s words won’t fade overnight and they’re far from being official, but MC feels a little less shaky about where they’re at. Maybe it would be good to take things slow, try and approach things like a normal couple would-

“Is it time for makeup sex?” Jaque whispers.

Or not.

#ms match #playchoices #choices: stories you play #choices #jack x mc #angst #my writing #mine #hurt/comfort #wlw #jaque x mc #jaqueline monroe #jaqueline x mc

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starlocked01 · 5 years ago

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I Know the Stars Will Start to Fade

AO3 @tsshipmonth2020

Masterpost- Previous- Next

Summary- Roman was born with three soul marks but now has only one. He doesn't want to ruin his last great chance for happiness but finds his final soulmate, Logan, isn't what he expected. And neither is he what he expected of himself.

Day 10 LAMP (Platonic Logince focused, Romantic Moxiety)- Soulmates are born with matching soul marks

Roman was starting to feel desperate. He had been born with three different soul marks but now was left with one. He really couldn't blame Patton or Virgil for getting upset with him. Somehow this was his fault.

The soul marks had been beautiful. Three shields with different intricate patterns inside. One had a castle overshadowed by a storm cloud. That one had matched Virgil’s. One had a heart floating in a broiling sea. That one had matched with Patton's. The last showed a brain at the foot of the mountains with a field of stars above. He hoped whoever this brain matched to would be the one who lasted and stuck around.

He'd met Virgil on an online forum for people with multiple soul marks. They hadn't talked much but Virgil went by st0rmcl0ud online and had described a soul mark that sounded remarkably similar to Roman’s. So he reached out in DMs and they swapped photos of their marks and then phone numbers and at Roman's insistence planned to meet up. He was already head over heels for his soulmate and giddy with excitement to meet Virgil in real life. Virgil and Patton had found each other through a dating app. Virgil recognized the heart shield as matching one of Patton's marks and had introduced the two of them as well.

For the first month, it was wonderful. Roman had never been so enamored, so certain of a future together with these two. It felt wonderful and nerve-wracking and exciting and passionate and everything the fairy tales had promised love would be.

They went on dates and got to know each other better. Roman went from infatuated to admiring his soulmates. He still put forth the full effort to love them but his heart wasn't behind it the way it should have been.

The stormy castle started to fade. He loved- no- cared for his two soulmates deeply. But the mark started to fade. Roman’s grand romantic vision of the future started to settle into something more friendly and domestic. He hid his soul marks, not wanting to upset either of them.

The stormy castle faded completely and the heart in the ocean was beginning to dull in color as well. Roman loved going on dates because it made his friends happy, but he felt no happier than if they had a quiet movie night at home together or spent the night video calling each other.

Roman had been frustrated, because Virgil and Patton were still head over heels for each other, in their own ways of course. Why didn't he feel that romantic spark that had pulled them all together?

One day, the heart in the ocean faded completely. Roman was terrified to tell his soulmates that the marks were gone. He was even more frightened by the realization that he didn't really love them the way they loved him and each other. He absolutely cared for Patton and Virgil with his whole heart, but the romantic vision was gone. He wanted them in his life but the idea of dating twisted his gut in the most unpleasant way.

Virgil noticed first. Roman didn't think it was possible to see the man any paler than his normal complexion.

"You lied to us…"

"No, they disappeared. They were there. They were real!"

"How do you expect me to believe that, Roman," Virgil's eyes were clouded with fear and pain. Roman couldn’t meet his gaze any longer and looked away.

"Why would you-"

"I don't know! I- you're my soulmate, Virgil… I don't know why our mark disappeared."

Virgil shook his head and pulled out his phone, dialing from memory.

If Virgil's anger had been difficult, Patton's disappointment was worse. His sad eyes bore into Roman’s soul and he couldn't even soften the blow by blaming Roman.

"Roman, do you not want us?" Roman's heart crumbled at the question.

"Patton, of course, I-"

"He was never our soulmate, Pat! I don't know how but he lied to us," Virgil hissed, pulling Patton back away from Roman.

"Guys, please listen to me," Roman was on the verge of tears.

"Yeah, Virge. I'm sure there's an explanation here that we aren't seeing. Roman, you still love us, right?"

Roman couldn’t help it. He balked and that sealed his fate. The moment Patton's heart broke was embedded in his memory, unlike the disappearing soul marks.

That was a week ago. And here he was, riding the bus to rehearsal as though his emotions weren't in shambles, one chance left to find happiness.

"Excuse me, sir? May I see your soul mark?" Roman turned to the unfamiliar voice and saw the hottest man he'd ever met giving him a difficult to decipher look.

Roman already had names picked out for the dogs they would adopt together.

"Ah, sure," Roman held out his arm and the stranger leaned down to inspect it. After a moment he pulled the sleeve of his jacket up and held up an arm with three familiar marks up to Roman's, "it's you! The brain…"

The stranger cleared his throat and pushed his sleeve back down, "yes. It appears we are soulmates. My name is Logan Crawford. What is yours?"

"Roman Prince," Roman replied breathlessly. He felt like he was on cloud nine and had his final chance.

"Well, Roman, I suppose you'll want to be in contact. Although, I must warn you that I am a disappointing soulmate and refuse date," Logan had pulled out his phone and was handing it to Roman.

"What do you mean 'disappointing'?" Roman frowned more in confusion than any negative feeling for Logan.

"I suppose you'll find out anyway. I am romance-repulsed. Even as one of my soulmates I won't date you or the others. Most everyone tells me that I will be a disappointment for you three but frankly, I know my boundaries and refuse to change them."

Roman stared at his final soulmate. He hadn't expected this. He took the offered phone and plugged in his number, taking a quick selfie for the contact photo.

"Well then, Logan, let's agree to just talk. Have you met Patton or Virgil?" Roman was met with an indifferent look that lacked any recognition.

"No, I have not. Have you?"

"Yes and I don't think you'd like them…" Roman said bitterly.

"Do you think I dislike you, Roman?" Logan said with the most emotion Roman had heard from him yet.

"No, I didn't mean that," Roman stammered, "I- I just meant that they're… very romantic. And I thought I had 'hopeless romantic' cornered!" Roman laughed to hide his discomfort.

"Wait, but you only had one soul mark. How did you meet them?" Logan asked with curiosity.

"My stop is coming up, perhaps we save the tragic backstory for another time?" Roman grinned as the bus rolled to a stop a block from the theater, "call me!" He rushed off the bus before Logan could respond, bewildered by the chance meeting with the handsome stranger.

Over the next few weeks, Roman and Logan texted and met up for coffee a few times. Roman was terrified of pushing things too fast and watched the soul mark on his arm constantly for any sign that it was fading. Logan never asked about the other two soulmates so Roman decided to not talk about them. He was still hurt but they had to be happier without him.

"So, Roman, you never told me the tragic story of how you met Patton and Virgil," Roman nearly spit out his tea.

"Do you really want to know, dear?" Logan bristled at the nickname but nodded.

"Well," Roman recounted the events of how they met and started seeing each other almost casually. He slowed down as he got to the part where the soul marks started fading. Logan encouraged him to continue but he couldn’t bring himself to say it out loud.

"Roman, did they hurt you?"

Roman shook his head no, not meeting Logan’s eyes.

"Can you tell me what happened?" Logan asked gently, resting his hand on Roman’s across the cafe table. Roman felt a metaphorical shock at the physical contact. He wanted a romantic connection with Logan so badly sometimes that the other’s staunch refusal to date felt like an arrow to the heart.

"My soul marks disappeared," Roman whispered, "and I couldn't promise them I was still in love, so they left."

"Disappeared? How unusual. Did they match before disappearing?" Roman looked up, surprised by the reaction. Logan just opened a new tab on his laptop and started searching a few keywords, "what? You know I don't care for sentiment. But soul marks that aren't permanent is a fascinating concept. And you say you fell out of love when the marks disappeared? Was it sudden overnight?"

"N-no… actually the marks- and the feelings- faded over time. About a week, really," Roman sighed, "actually, Logan I need to confess-" Roman pulled up the sleeve of his jacket to reveal his last soul mark, "-yours started fading a few days ago. The colors aren't as saturated as before."

Logan looked down at the mark, "and how do you feel about me? Regardless of my stance on the matter."

Roman sucked in a long breath, "I…. Honestly, I've been in love with you from that day on the bus. But I respect your boundaries and I wasn’t going to push it and as we have been talking and getting to know each other, I really value you as a friend as well. I'm still a little hopelessly over the moon about you but it's not like when we first met."

"Fascinating, it seems the intensity of your soul mark is directly proportionate to your capacity for romantic attraction. One moment," Logan turned back to the laptop and after a moment turned the screen to face Roman, "does this sound like you?"

The word and definition almost popped off the screen at Roman. Frayromantic - an aromantic spectrum identity where one feels an intense romantic attraction to strangers that fades as they get to know the person

"Yes…" Roman took a sip of tea to try and calm his swirling thoughts.

Logan turned the laptop back around and did another search. He read for a moment before reading aloud from the screen, "other frayromantics have experienced fading soul marks. Some say that the marks came back after they realized and recognized their identity or came to terms with their soulmate about it. Others never had the marks come back naturally but rather decided to get them recreated. Or they decided they didn't want the marks and carried on markless, with or without their soulmate."

"So I'm not broken, it's happened before? The marks could come back? It's not wrong to not love my soulmates romantically?" The questions spilled from Roman’s mouth before he could stop them.

"I'd actually prefer if you would hurry up and get over your crush on me, thanks," Logan said with a smirk.

Roman held back a snort of laughter. He was feeling immeasurably better.

Roman was glad he had kept Patton's phone number. After discussing it with Logan, he decided to reach back out, hoping Patton would be understanding and could encourage Virgil to be as well.

The phone rang and rang. Roman started to sweat. Logan was preoccupied with personal research but he offered a comforting hand on Roman’s shoulder. Roman was glad for his friend's support, the soul mark a faint but distinct outline anymore. It had never fully disappeared even as Roman’s crush had evaporated.

Roman was ready to give up when the line connected, "Roman?"

"Patton! Oh, thank the stars you picked up. Do you have time to talk? If not now, maybe we can meet up?" Roman grinned happily.

"Why? I thought we weren't… " Patton trailed off.

"Pat, two things. One, I figured out why the soul marks faded. Two, I found Logan. We can all know each other and work things out because despite what Virgil said, we are soulmates," Roman waited with bated breath for the response.

"Hold on a second- Virgil!" Patton pulled the phone away from his mouth as he called out. Logan squeezed Roman’s shoulder to comfort him.

"Yeah, Pops? What's up?" From what Roman could hear it sounded like Virgil had just woken up, at 3 in the afternoon. What followed was a muffled conversation from which Roman could only pick out a few words.

"Okay, Roman. Can you and Logan meet us for dinner tonight?" Patton asked brightly.

"Logan, how does dinner tonight sound?" Roman grinned as Logan nodded, "sounds great, Pat. Where do you want to meet?"

"You two should come on over here about 7, alright? Awesome, see you soon!" Patton ended the call, mind already bustling with plans to get ready for dinner.

"Roman, please don't try to speak for me tonight," Logan smiled nervously as Roman parked the car.

"Of course not. I know you can handle yourself," Roman replied.

"Yes, I just worry that you're going to try too hard to be what Patton and Virgil want, not who you are. I like you and respect you for who you are and they will too if they're smart. But in the all too likely case that you can't help trying to be a people pleaser, at least let me establish my own boundaries."

Roman gasped, "do you have so little faith in me?"

"Yes," Logan grinned and stepped out of the car. Roman started chuckling and both were smiling as the front door of the apartment duplex opened.

"Roman. And I guess that makes you Logan. Come on in, I guess," Virgil was as dour as ever as he showed them to the living room, "Patton says dinner should be ready in a few minutes so make yourselves at home."

"Virgil, it's so good to see you! I've missed your pale, crabby face," Roman grinned although Virgil did not seem amused.

Logan held out his hand, "it's nice to meet you, Virgil."

Virgil stared at the offered hand and poked it with his finger, "Nice to meet you too, Logan."

"Are they here? V, why didn't you tell me?" Patton came bustling from the kitchen and immediately wrapped Roman in a tight hug, "oh it's been too long! How ya doing, Prince?"

Roman grinned and hugged Patton back, "better now, that's for sure."

"Ah, and you must be Logan, come on in buddy!" Patton turned to offer Logan a hug.

"No, thank you. I'd rather not," Logan tried to wave Patton off.

"You sure?" Logan nodded, "Okay, dinner is almost done and we've got so much to talk about!"

Roman helped Virgil set the table while Logan followed Patton into the kitchen to help with the final preparations.

The conversation was light as they ate until Virgil asked the question no one else was bringing up.

"So Princey, why did the soul marks disappear?"

Roman took a deep breath. He could feel Logan’s hand on his knee under the table and was grateful for his soulmate’s support once again. "Virgil, Patton, I have discovered that I am frayromantic. I know that word doesn't make sense, but hear me out," he proceeded to explain, talking about how he had truly loved them when they met, and still wanted to care about them now. He even showed them the faded soul mark that matched Logan’s, explaining that it never faded completely because they had come to an understanding with each other about their relationship. He didn't bring up that the soul marks could come back, not wanting to give them undue hope or misguided ideas about his emotions. By the time he was done explaining, Patton was smiling with tears in his eyes and Virgil was nodding.

"Mark or not, I still want you in my life," Patton sniffed and reached across the table to take Roman’s hand, "we can work out the particulars later."

"Ah, Roman, I'm sorry. I was wrong to accuse you and I can't imagine how much that must have hurt you," Virgil spoke just above a whisper.

Roman nodded, "thank you, Virgil. I'll consider forgiving you."

"That's fair-"

"Consider it done!"

"Oh- kay thank you," Virgil chuckled.

"So Logan, why is tonight the first time we're meeting you?" Patton smiled at the stoic man.

"Simply put, I wasn’t seeking out my soulmates. I happened upon Roman by chance. I want to make it clear that I am not interested in dating any of you," Logan spoke with confidence. Roman was proud of him, returning the comforting hand on his knee gesture.

"Wait you two aren't dating?" Patton asked, confused.

"No. We are not dating. I am aromantic and romance-repulsed. I want nothing to do with mushy, complicated romantic emotions. However, and I hope Roman doesn't mind me saying this, I do consider him my best friend," Logan coughed, "and I actually wanted to talk with you later about a platonic partnership," Roman was surprised to hear this but more surprised by the blush on Logan's cheeks.

"Yeah, we can talk about that later, Lo. I definitely think you're my best friend as well."

"Wow, so… being soulmates isn't going to be easy for any of us," Virgil murmured.

"But we'll all work it out together!" Patton finished the sentiment, clasping his boyfriend's hand in his and smiling at the two soulmates across the table.

The soul marks that had faded completely never came back on their own. After a few years together, Roman decided to get them tattooed back on, asking the artist to match the intensity to Logan’s mark. The three faint marks helped reassure Roman that he was who he was and that he didn't need to change that to love his soulmates just as much as he could.

#Soulmate September 2020 #tsshipmonth2020 #arospec roman #aromantic logan #fray!roman #frayromantic character #platonic logince #moxiety #logince #lamp/calm #soulmate au #this was incredibly self-indulgent

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ramblings-of-a-mad-cat · 5 years ago

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Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker Re-Write

(Inspired by the fantastic work of @dalekofchaos)

“Fix it” fics are a thing, yeah? Well, here’s my shot at writing one for the ninth Star Wars film. Contrary to popular opinions, I’m only going to change one or two things about the two movies beforehand, because I unironically loved both of them. But I can admit that there were mistakes, and TLJ tied up most of the loose ends, leaving it difficult to follow-up with a sequel. So, regarding Episodes eight and nine, here’s what changes.

I have exactly one change for TFA. That random ass stormtrooper who called out Finn as a traitor and inexplicably had a melee weapon that could fight lightsabers? Yeah, just make that Phasma and have done with it. I don’t understand why it wasn’t her in the first place. Also, Finn being able to wield a lightsaber isn’t “evidence” that he’s force-sensitive if you ask me. The films never confirm that non-force sensitives can’t use them. This will be important later.

Moving on to TLJ...replace that stupid milk scene with the deleted scene of Luke reacting to the news of Han’s death. I mean, come on, that’s a given. Another given, Luke uses his green lightsaber in the illusionary duel against Kylo Ren. That’s just common sense.

After Kylo Ren asserts himself and force-chokes General Hux, and the two of them depart...the camera pans in on the pieces of Snoke’s corpse, onto his face...and his eyes suddenly open. Yes, this will be important later. Somehow, Snoke survived.

I genuinely liked Vice-Admiral Holdo, but they kind of fumbled her role in the story. She was never given a reason for why she did not share her plans with the rest of the Resistance. The most popular theory being that she assumed a mole was on board, but this was never stated in the movie. In my opinion, Poe had every reason to call for mutiny based on what he knew, so the whole message/character arc of him learning to be a leader rather than a hero didn’t quite stick the landing. So how will I fix it? Simple, replace Holdo with Leia. First things first, we don’t get the superman-flying, which is just an objective improvement. We also are more inclined to trust Leia over Poe, because of the legacy the character has. We’re also going with the plot-threat there is indeed a mole. What’s more, Leia is given the sendoff she deserves with the light-speed kamikaze scene. Sure, she may be force-sensitive, but it’s clear that she chose a different path in her life and I think she should go out as a warrior, not a Jedi, because that’s what she was. General Leia. Plus, you avoid the awkward interactions with CGI Leia from the canon episode 9.

I think we can all agree that Finn deserved better, and he absolutely deserved to have the scene that was deleted, where he called out Phasma in front of her soldiers, telling them what happened in TFA, when Phasma caved so easily. This is the beginning of the Stormtrooper rebellion, and Finn is responsible for igniting the spark. He can definitely duel with Phasma, but he’s not going to win for one simple reason. The mole suddenly reveals herself and puts a blaster to his head.

Spoiler alert, the mole is Rose. The reason why could vary - perhaps she blames the resistance for the death of her sister. Perhaps the First Order captured her sister alive and is threatening her. Either way, Rose’s efforts help turn the tide and allow her and Phasma to escape. The code-breaker can still be part of the movie, but he doesn’t really matter. The Canto Bight sequence is unchanged, because I honestly don’t dislike it at all.

So who saves Finn from his attempt to follow General Leia’s example, and give his life for the cause that he now truly cares about? Poe does. This moment already causes their character arcs to intersect, with Poe being in the position Leia was in at the start of Last Jedi, Finn being in Poe’s position. Poe crashes their ships to save Finn, and because I’m #Stormpilot trash, and we deserved an onscreen LGBT relationship between leads, Poe does indeed kiss Finn. However, don’t worry about Rose. I have plans for her.

That’s about all that changes. But in the grand scene of things, most of these aren’t really issues with the film itself. But they’re necessary to set up for my idea for a Rise of Skywalker re-write. Speaking of...

The Rise of Skywalker - let’s begin with the name.

I hate this name and everything it represents. I’ve heard rumors of an alternate script where Ben Solo is not redeemed, called “Duel of Fates.” I’m not a fan of Ben not being redeemed, but I like the concept of that film name. So I’m thinking this movie will be called something like “One Last Bout” or “One Last Stand.” Something simple but effective, with the air of finality. I truly doubt Episode 9 is the end of Star Wars forever, but if we think of it as a conclusion to the first two trilogies, this can work.

The film opens with the funeral of General Leia. With Rey, Finn, and Poe (who are holding hands for sure) all standing together with Chewie, who is in shambles as we can expect. Lando is also present and he gets re-introduced. Luke’s force spirit appears and looks on, but does not reveal himself to everyone else. Likewise, pan the camera over, and we see Kylo Ren observing the service as well, out of sight. Luke makes telepathic contact with Rey, to warn her of danger, at which point both Rey and Ben double over in pain, the sound design giving us an uncomfortable high pitched screech, or something similar. There’s a disturbance in the Force. Something is returning. Something terrible. Ben is spotted, and the main trio open fire with blasters, but Ben escapes. Lando stops Rey from pursuing him, suggesting that it would dishonor Leia’s memory to do it right then and there.

Ben, on his ship, struggles with horrible pain, a serious headache. Until at last, he is telepathically contacted by a voice we do not hear. But it terrifies him, and he takes off in his ship in pursuit of it.

A scene similar to the one where the Resistance analyzes Palpatine’s message, but there is no message and there is empathically no Palpatine in this movie, though I won’t get into why that was a horrible idea right now. Never mind, Rey is simply recounting to Finn, Poe, Chewie, and Lando that there’s a disturbance in the Force. Luke’s spirit appears and warns them that a great evil that long predates their time, is returning. He disappears, explaining that he needs to await Leia as she “crosses over” and becomes one with The Force. This is the last we see of Luke in the film, because his story is over. The torch has been passed.

Ben/Kylo Ren arrives at what we saw as Exegol. I don’t mind this planet being Exegol, it was about the only new location I actually remembered from the canon film. He confronts the voice in his head, proclaiming that he will kill any threat to The First Order and it’s Supreme Leader. A familiar voice in the dark chuckles. “You have yet to finish off your predecessor. By what right do you claim his job?” Snoke leans forward, and reveals himself. A similar scene to TROS plays out but with no mention of Rey. Despite Ben’s shock, Snoke is amused. “You are not the first apprentice to try and take my life. You probably won’t be the last. I have fashioned many into tools for the Dark Side, even the Emperor himself learned at my feet. Did you think you were special? So, yes. Snoke is the final Big Bad like he should have been (Andy Serkis was robbed) and he really is Darth Plagueis because he was totally supposed to be. By means of mental torture, Snoke reassumes control of Ben and tells him to gather the Knights of Ren “Wherever you’ve hidden them” and prepare to crush the rebellion once and for all.

Instead of visiting a random planet for a lead, Lando and Chewie lead the gang back to Endor. Or it could also be Kashyyyk, I suppose. Like before, Lando and Luke were there. They spent years documenting the history of the Jedi and the Sith. This could be contained in “Holocrons” I realize they have meaning behind them in the lore, but I don’t know much, so just consider the “Holocron” to be a storage unit for information. Arriving there, we still have the scene of a local asking for Rey’s family name, but this time she’s going to stay no one like she should have. While researching, Finn expresses the theory, or more like the hope, that he might be Force-Sensitive. Rey tells him that everyone is, to an extent, but Finn clarifies that he means it the same way that Rey is. “Y’know, the way you can push stuff around and sense people’s feelings. Make stuff float.” An echo back to Rey’s line from TLJ. What I’m going for here is that Finn is not force-sensitive in the traditional way. His arc in this movie is going to be about accepting that, and realizing that he doesn’t need that to be a “hero.” He already is one, with everything he’s done. But as of right now, his insistence that he could be leads to bickering between him and Rey.

Things only get worse as Rey uncovers more about the Jedi. Sees some of the ways in which they were not the white knights that history remembers them as. Luke was right, they played no small part in creating Darth Vader. What’s more, she discovers the “Rule of Two” which has been hinted in the films but never discussed outright. The idea that there are only ever two people wielding the Dark Side, a master and an apprentice. And that the apprentice invariably kills the master to succeed them. A tradition dating back for millennia. The Sith, the practitioners of the Dark Side, always betray each other. She’s disheartened, thinking of Ben killing Snoke and how he offered her his hand. What it all would have led to in the end.

They finally discover what could be the answer - the “great evil” that is returning. A Sith lord called Darth Plaguis, who, when they bring up the hologram of him, strongly resembles Snoke. They put two and two together, reading more about Plagueis’ file. How he vanished without a trace. How he was said to have performed an unspeakable ritual in the Dark Side to allow him to control life and death itself. He could revive those he loved from death, and could not truly he killed, having become an anomaly in the Force. Only another anomaly of equal power would be able to stop him.

An ambush occurs, with assassins in masks attacking the heroes. They wield melee weapons that are not lightsabers, and they force the group to split up due to simply being outnumbered. The gang realizes that, apart from being here to kill them, they probably want that Holocron, but the Resistance must be the ones to get it. We get a similar scene to the canon film, with Chewie heading to the Millennium Falcon with the Holocron and trying to take off, to blast the assassins from the sky...but then the assassins reveal their ace card. They have force power. And they start to pull the Falcon back down. Rey struggles against them, but she’s outnumbered, still upset from everything that she’s learned, and easily angered when Finn rushes in to try and help, despite not being able to. Rey succumbs to her anger and unleashes Dark-Side lightning. Just like in the canon film. The differences? Number one, this doesn’t foreshadow any lineage for her...but importantly Chewie is actually dead, not just a fake-out. He’s dead, and the Falcon and Holocron are destroyed with him. Seriously, the emotional weight of that scene is completely drained by not having Chewie actually die there. The potential is lost, and I’m going to prove it.

Rey is appropriately mortified, shocked, and despondent. The assassins are too - they can’t believe their enemy killed one of their own just to win. Everyone is shocked, but Poe is the quickest to regain his head, dashing in and blasting at the assassins to help cover the heroes while they escape, Finn half-dragging a stunned Rey. So, everyone feels awkward about what just happened and though they believe Rey that it was an accident, it still happened and both Finn and Poe feel distant from her. Lando, understandably, is a lot less patient than them. He knew Chewie for years. His old feelings about losing Han might resurface, and he could say something about how Rey is no better than Kylo Ren, before catching himself and apologizing. At this point, Lando also departs. He needs to get back to the Resistance, because he has been named the Acting General, since Leia’s death.

Meanwhile, Poe deduces that the assassins were the mythical “Knights of Ren” rumored to be the Supreme Leader’s private army. Rey is shaken from her stupor at this news - it doesn’t make sense, it completely violates the “Rule of Two.” Could Ben still be saved? Or is it too late for him? Is it too late for her, Rey, even? Cue Ben Solo/Kylo Ren opening up the force-bond once again. A similar conversation about how they’re both uncertain of their place in the galaxy, and a confirmation that Snoke is back, and is really Plagueis. Ben reveals that he’s been ordered to kill Rey, and he apologies - he truly doesn’t want to do this, but Snoke once again has control of him, and has proven that killing him won’t matter. Rey senses terrible pain, and gets a taste of what Ben has been put through - think, like, the Cruciatus Curse. Whatever “pain” move Kylo Ren used on Poe in TFA. He learned it from Snoke, of course. Ben closes the force-bond, telling Rey to run. Run as far and as fast as she can, because he’s no longer able to take it easy on her.

Finn and Poe overhear the conversation, or at least Rey’s side of it. They hear enough to deduce who she’s talking to, and this further plants the seeds of doubt in their heads. As we see in Last Jedi, Rey doesn’t really tell people about the force-bond, so we can assume she never told her friends. The family is fracturing more and more. Rey is slipping closer and closer to the Dark Side. And all without needing to give her a bloodline. See? I told you Chewbacca’s death had potential.

They make a pit stop on Coruscant, because there’s no reason it couldn’t have been Coruscant, hiding from First Order ships. Here is where the character of Zorii originally showed up. As compelling as the performance was, she’s not going to show up here. Let’s be honest, she was only there to no-homo Finn and Poe, as well as give Poe a backstory that is apparently racist? (I’m not knowledgeable enough about this topic to comment, so let’s just throw out the whole idea.) Instead, the team is confronted by none other than Rose, the mole from TLJ. She reveals that more and more stormtroopers have been rebelling since Finn gave his speech. There’s only one faction that she is confident will never turn on the First Order - the Knights of Ren, who “seem to worship the Supreme Leader like a damn god...though, I guess he isn’t the Supreme Leader anymore, is he?” News is spreading of Snoke’s return, and Rose has the heroes cornered with a band of loyalist stormtroopers.

Finn pleads with Rose, and the other Stormtroopers, to reconsider. Here is where we outline Rose’s character. She despises everything about war. She’s intentionally attacking both sides, seeking to see both the Resistance and The First Order collapse. She has a personal vendetta against Poe and actively tries to kill him, for his role in the battle that killed her sister. Poe likewise despises Rose for having betrayed Finn. Whether Rose’s actions are tactical doesn’t really matter - she’s responding from a place of emotion, not logic. Poe, showing his growth, apologies to Rose and talks her down. Explains the situation, how dire the circumstances are. Rey chimes in and identifies with Rose, having made plenty of mistakes of her own. There’s a moment of solidarity between the team once again. A moment, anyway. Poe makes peace with Rose, and she lets the heroes go. However, her stormtroopers turn on her, and attack everyone. The gang helps Rose escape with them, and after the escape, they realize that those stormtroopers were in fact the Knights of Ren, spying for Kylo Ren, which means Snoke as well.

Rey, tortured by nightmares about Snoke, leaves in the middle of the night. Finn is awake, and tries to stop her, which leads to a major fight. Finn is having trouble trusting Rey, and it shows. Rey is likewise fed up with Finn trying to insert himself into the story, as it were. However, having been told by Rose the impact that he had on the galaxy, Finn no longer wishes to be a Jedi. He then redirects the question to Rey - does she want to be a Jedi? Like Luke? Honest answer - she doesn’t know. The Jedi of old would never have accepted her. She’d have been expelled and become another Darth Vader. Rey is impulsive, confrontational, she has a short temper. She gives in to the Dark Side too easily, and now it’s gotten someone killed. She feels diseased. Though Finn tries to dissuade such talk, it comes out that he and Poe overheard her conversation with Kylo Ren. Both sides are angry here, because Rey kept this secret, and because her friends spied on her. She cries out in anger, causing several nearby lights to blow out. Rey storms away, seeking to be alone.

This fight scene takes the place of the ESB rip-off with an evil Rey. That just wasn’t necessary. Instead, Rey leaves to confront Snoke, kill him once and for all, and rescue Ben if she can. After that, she isn’t sure what she’ll do. It is at this point that she is captured by the Knights of Ren. However, they don’t kill her, as instructed. They remove their masks - humanizing them as just being people. They reveal that they were the Jedi who followed Ben after he left Luke. When Starkiller Base was finished, Ben told them to go and evacuate their families from their home planets, just in case. The Knights stayed away for a long time, per Ben’s orders, but returned when he bid them too. They love him, seem to look up to him, and they can tell that he loves Rey. That he’s not his own man anymore. And that his best interests don’t align with Snoke’s. They know Snoke has to die, but also realize they aren’t powerful enough to stop him. The only one they can think of who might be - is Rey. They beg for her help, and she agrees.

The movie now offers a montage of Stormtroopers abandoning Phasma and Hux, and turning themselves in to the Resistance, explaining that they want to fight for the light. Meanwhile, Finn talks to Rose and Poe, and they all agree that they can’t just leave Rey, they have to go after her. They regret not trusting her, and conclude that even if she is tempted by the Dark Side, even if she falls...she’s still their friend. They don’t believe that she’s a spy - Rose offers useful tip in this sense. Observing that Rey offers none of the “tells.” Finally, we come to Rey training with the Knights of Ren. The transformation of her staff into a lightsaber pike. And it’s gold, baby. It’s gold. (Oh, since I forgot to mention this, Anakin’s lightsaber never gets repaired. Rey has been using a blaster up to this point.)

Bring us back to Snoke, torturing Ben once again as he can sense the betrayal of the Knights. Ben doesn’t realize that they’re still loyal to him, he thinks they just abandoned him, and his spirit is broken even further. Snoke talks more about his past, and here we can get a philosophical discussion. Perhaps Snoke discovered the midichlorians during his research, and exploited them for more power. He could analyze the Force as being, not a difference between light and darkness, but a shallow body of water that only gets deeper the further you venture. Snoke boasts that he was the first to risk “drowning” himself in it’s depths. Meanwhile, Ben hallucinates seeing Han, encouraging him to get up and fight back. We can also have Leia’s voice here, if we want. Ben fights back in a scene that echoes TFA, the way Rey resisted his own control. “You are no Master, Plagueis. Not of anyone or anything. You act so powerful, but your thoughts betray you. You’re afraid you will never get it right. Your desperation grows with every failure. But Today is not the day you finally succeed.” snaps free of Snoke’s control and when Snoke attempts to dominate him with Force Lightning, Ben goes full Prince Zuko and redirects it, Yoda style. With that, he escapes, now on his own.

Finn, Poe, and Rose show up to fight the Knights of Ren. Assuming Rey to be their prisoner. Rey, faced with her ultimate conflict, the symbol of her uncertainty, a literal metaphor between the two sides of her being at war...her loyalty to Ben, and her loyalty to her friends...her desire to be good, but her tendency toward darkness...finally completes her character arc and solves her identity issues. She creates a barrier between both sides, knocking them all down. She explains herself, telling her friends that the Knights want to stop Snoke. That she has joined them freely, for this reason. She apologizes for how distant she’s been. Admits that while she would never support the First Order, she does care for Ben Solo, despite all he’s done. This leads to Rey making up with her friends, and making peace with the Knights, who were already kind-of friends with Rose, once upon a time. This can lead into a bigger discussion about The Force, the concepts of good and evil as a whole. While Finn and Poe contact Lando, to tell him where Snoke is hiding, Rey reaches out to Ben through the force-bond.

Meanwhile, Ben has returned to the planet where Luke’s old school of Jedi was. He visits the smoldering remains, and unearths Luke’s green lightsaber. He struggles, still feeling that call to the light, and now that he’s alone and able to meditate, he attempts to do what Snoke did, and “drown” himself in the Force, in the hope of stopping him. He doesn’t drown. Instead, he meets a spirit who he had unconsciously blocked out a long time ago. Anakin Skywalker, portrayed by Hayden “The lines were terrible but his acting was actually pretty good” Christensen. The call to the light that Ben had always resisted had come from Anakin. These two finally talk, and Anakin urges Ben to choose the right side. They find solidarity in understanding that they were both drawn to the Dark Side, and both felt that this meant they “had” to be evil. Anakin doesn’t dissuade Ben from the Dark Side, but advises him to do what is right for the galaxy, defeating Snoke. Ben is helpless, he doesn’t know how. But Anakin tells him that an anomaly of equal power to Snoke could be enough to kill him forever. It’s definitely worth a try. Anakin fades, promising Ben that the answer is closer than he thinks. He can sense it right now...

After Anakin fades, Rey appears. She has succeeded in contacting Ben, and they catch up. Ben learning that The Knights still care about him, and that Rey has joined them. Rey expresses that Ben was right - it’s time to leave the Jedi and the Sith behind. To start something new. They can discuss the Force in greater detail, how being Dark doesn’t always mean one is evil, but the teachings of the Jedi suggest that it is a binary system. They express affection for each other. With everyone around Rey seeing her talk to someone invisible, Rey reaches out her hand...and Ben takes it. Suddenly appearing in the ship with everyone else.

Rey and The Knights take turns embracing him, and he exchanges awkward nods with the others. With the help of the Knights, the group comes to the conclusion that Rey and Ben are some kind of Dyad in the Force, irrevocably connected. The two that are one. Such a thing has not been seen in millennia. It’s almost like a glitch in the universe. But this anomaly could be what it takes to stop Snoke for good.

The main team makes their way back to Exegol as we see Lando giving a speech to the Resistance, now much stronger with the added former-Stormtroopers. As much as I love Jannah, she’s just as unnecessary as Zorii. That screen time could have and should have gone to Rose as she re-establishes herself back into the squad, same as Ben. Everyone arrives at Exegol at the same time, and Resistance soldiers move to open fire on Rose and Ben, understandably so, but here come Poe and Finn to talk them down and explain the situation. No one is happy about it, particularly having Ben Solo around, but Lando, with much consternation, accepts the situation and tells the Resistance not to fire on their new allies. However, he also instructs Finn to kill Ben if he steps out of line. We can get a callback when Finn gives the “I’m watching you” look to Ben, and have a line like “Don’t be a traitor.” Or something.

Final battle time. Another montage. Finn leading the former storm-troopers in the battle against the last of Snoke’s loyalists, led by Phasma. Together with Rose, Finn defeats them and Phasma is left on her knees. She pleads for mercy, and Rose is prepared to kill her, but Finn intervenes. They take her prisoner instead, because killing people who are already defeated and defenseless is the “Stormtrooper” way.

Rey, Ben, and the Knights are helping out with their Melee weapons. The Knights are also using the Force, because not using it offensively was a Jedi message, and they didn’t always follow it anyway. Though he’s definitively good now, Ben is still wearing his Kylo Ren armor, and wielding the cross-guard saber. I mean, imagine if he showed up to a warzone in day clothes with a blaster, just because his previous weapons were “evil?” How stupid would that be, right? However, at one point the cross-guard saber is destroyed in the right, and left empty-handed, Ben pulls out Luke’s lightsaber, stares at it...and then ignites it to rejoin the fray.

We likewise get a battle of wits and strategy between Poe and Hux, as Poe commands a legion to take out the forces guarding Snoke’s throne room. In the end, Poe’s armada is saved by another that Lando commands. Hux manages to fatally shoot Lando, but Poe quickly repays him in kind. While everyone crowds around Lando, Hux dies alone, symbolizing the difference between the two causes. Lando expresses pride in how far Poe has come, tells him that Leia would be proud too, and with his dying words, he addresses Poe as “General Dameron.” It’s a truly emotional moment and afterward, Poe simply turns to the loyalist stormtroopers, carrying the poise and energy of a powerful leader. He tells them to drop their weapons. To surrender now, and they won’t be harmed. It’s badass. And the loyalists do as instructed.

The path is clear for Rey and Ben to rush in to the Throne Room and kill Snoke, with the Resistance following them as backup. Only Snoke is nowhere to be seen. All of a sudden, we hear that high-pitched screech again. Rey and Ben collapse in terrible pain, hearing Snoke’s voice. His physical body no longer matters or plays by the same rules. He has essentially taken the practice of returning as a force-spirit and perverted it to become Dark. We now get Snoke’s final backstory, and the answer to why he’s able to do this. Snoke himself was part of a Dyad, centuries ago. Though exceptionally rare, Rey and Ben’s bond is not unique. However, Snoke murdered his counterpart for his own selfish reasons. A total violation of nature. This is what splintered him and turned him into the unnatural being that he is now. Rey and Ben vanish, to the alarm of Finn and Poe, as they disappear into the Force.

The three of them - Rey, Ben, and Snoke, all appear to be in some kind of void. Snoke recounts having sensed the awakening of another Dyad (”The Force Awakens”) and that this is what prompted him to return to physical form in the first place. He reveals his final plan. Rey and Ben must now fight to the death - the winner becoming as powerful Snoke himself. He promises that the winner can rule beside him. This is probably a lie, and both of his opponents refuse. But Snoke also warns that without achieving that kind of power, they’ll be hopeless to stop him. He dual wields red lightsabers in the subsequent duel. Notice how Rey and Ben are using sabers of gold and green - the opposite of red and blue, which have traditionally symbolized the Jedi and the Sith conflict. Snoke tells them that they have no future. They cannot become Jedi, not with the crimes they’ve committed. If they become Sith, well...he cites the “Rule of Two” insisting that Rey and Ben cannot coexist because one will inevitably slay the other. Rey and Ben respond that they are neither, that they simply fight for what they believe in. That they are...knights of Ren.

Together, they strike back, plunging their sabers through Snoke’s chest. He vanishes, and the void world vanishes. Rey and Ben reappear in the throne room, and Snoke is there too, staggering to his feet. The Resistance takes aim at him, but he pays them no mind. He warns the two heroes that there is no telling what will happen if they choose this path, that the Galaxy needs structure when dealing with an entity as vague and infinite as The Force. Rey responds simply that “The Force is not some stranger or threat. It is not a vice for power. The Force...is us. All of us. The good and the bad, the light and the dark. So long as we stand together, you will never influence The Force again. You will never control us. You will never return again.” With a roar of defeat, Snoke’s body turns to dust, and a shadowy mass is left in it’s place. Finn and Poe fire at at it, to no avail, but Rey and Ben join hands, and as the shadowy mass surges toward them, The Dyad employs it’s full potential, causing Snoke’s bastardized force-spirit to vanish. Not sure how this would be filmed without looking silly, but I swear, it’s compelling.

The battle is over. Everyone celebrates. When Finn and Poe kiss, it’s earned, not some nameless background characters. The team returns to the Resistance base. Poe has been unanimously voted to be the new General, which is the closest thing they have to an elected leader right now, so he is in charge of the trials for the loyalists, and the Knights of Ren. The people who committed treason or other crimes. But we only see three of these trials. Ben Solo, Rose Tico...and Rey. After all, she did kill Chewie, right? She conspired with the Knights, too. Rey is pardoned almost immediately, Rose not long after, but Ben Solo...after much consideration, Poe charges the Knights of Ren to a path of atonement. To go around, helping fix the Galaxy. Community service.

Ben and the Knights prepare to leave on their trip, and Rey and Ben say goodbye. How ship-teasy this is, if there’s a final kiss...eh, interpret how you like. I’m a Reylo fan personally, but I know a lot of people aren’t. Ben promises to see Rey again, and they both acknowledge that thanks to the Dyad, they won’t have to go without seeing each other, not really. Likewise, Rey and Finn and Poe and Rose will be helping to fix up the galaxy, so it’s certainly not goodbye.

I lied, Luke’s force-spirit appears one more time, this time with Leia, though she doesn’t speak much for obvious reasons. Luke is proud of her, and says something to the effect of “Not bad for a scavenger girl with no family from Jakku of all places. Well done, Rey from nowhere.” Rey looks around at everyone - at Finn, Poe, Rose. At Ben and the Knights. At C3PO, R2D2 and BB8 (Who were definitely involved the whole time I just didn’t have much to say about them) she looks back at Luke and replies that she does have a family. She and her friends go to wave goodbye as Ben’s ship takes off, flying into the sunset, and....ENDING CREDITS!

Let me know what y’all think! Hopefully this doesn’t throw out quite as much from Last Jedi, and does the characters justice!

#Star Wars #Rey from Nowhere #Finn Star Wars #Poe Dameron #Kylo Ren #Ben Solo #Rose Tico #Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker #Star Wars TROS #Reylo #Stormpilot #Supreme Leader Snoke #Snoke #Lando Calrissian #Chewbacca #Star Wars: The Last Jedi #Luke Skywalker #Leia Organa #The Knights of Ren

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yastaghr · 5 years ago

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Nightmare’s Gang of Wranglers 3

Summary: The first ride and the first camp are achieved. The fire brings out something new in everyone.

Link: The first ride and the first camp are achieved. The fire brings out something new in everyone.

The first ride of the trip was always the most problematic. This trip was no exception. Nightmare had sighed when Ink had lost his stirrups the first time. The next three times had been annoying. After that it had ceased to be annoying and started to become funny. Rustle wasn’t going to let him fall, and it wasn’t like Nightmare himself hadn’t ridden without stirrups before. Just so long as he kept his heels down Nightmare would be happy.

But that was just the start of the problems. Dream was turning out to be just as annoying as he knew he’d be, but for an entirely different problem. That problem had a name. His name was Cross. Cross, apparently, hadn’t taken enough heed of all the stories Nightmare had shared with his gang about Dream. Cross was too thirsty for that. He was taking full advantage of his position behind Dream to watch his ass. Yes, he said it was because he wanted to be sure of the other’s seat, but Nightmare knew better. One, he knew that Dream’s seat was impeccable, and two, he could see the purple blush on Cross’ cheeks. He was just lucky that Dream didn’t notice. He would only pay for ogling a client, not for trying to go behind Killer’s and Nightmare’s backs.

The next problem was Dust. It was always like this; as soon as he thought Nightmare had gone out of his hearing range he started talking to his brother. Nightmare sighed. Blue didn’t seem too disturbed, but that couldn’t be said of his pony. Berry hadn’t ridden near Dust recently, so the gelding must have forgotten about his chattering. His ears were constantly swiveled back, but Blue seemed to be handling him well. His seat was good and his hands were soft even as he maintained control over the horse. That made Nightmare feel better about letting him stay there.

The last problem, and one that Nightmare had been predicting, was Ink’s paints. Their sloshing around was scaring the pack train. Blood and Sugar eventually had the whole line stop so they could redistribute the load. That seemed to calm down the mules, but Cherry was being his usual spooky self. That was okay. They were used to Cherry’s spookiness.

Nightmare was impressed when they made the first stopping place in reasonable time. He had allowed for much more malarky than actually occurred. Unfortunately it looked like they needed that time. The camp was in shambles. If Nightmare had to guess he would have said that a herd of elk had bedded down there recently. The trees were still leaking sap, the grass was laid flat by the weight of those sleeping bodies, and the tents that were the sleeping areas were torn to the ground. Nightmare sighed. It would take at least an hour to fix everything.

His crew immediately ground tied their horses and got to work. Dust and Blood saw to the grass, fluffing it up so that the horses could actually eat. Cross set to gathering firewood and wiping down the trees. Sugar looked after the pack train. Error used his strings to fix the tents, and Killer helped Ink to dismount. Dream and Blue had gotten down and were looking around.

“How can we help, brother?” Dream said instantly, Blue right beside him. Nightmare blinked his one eye at him. He hadn’t expected them to want to help.

“Why don’t you… help Sugar unload the food for tonight?” He eventually said. He still didn’t trust his brother, not after what he had done, but he knew that unpacking the mules would be very hard to mess up.

Dream and Blue nodded, ground tied their horses, and walked calmly over to Sugar. Good. They at least knew better than to spook the horses.

=====

Killer’s soft voice interrupted his focus on his brother. “Somebody’s got a crush, huh?”

Nightmare spun to face him. Killer had his signature grin on his face, and his soul was beating at a speed Nightmare recognized as happy. Nightmare relaxed slightly and said, “I didn’t realise Cross was being so obvious. He’s been ogling Dream’s ass this entire time.”

Killer chuckled. Nightmare didn’t see what was so funny. “Yeah, Cross. The big guy’s always had a soft spot for people who dote on the horses.”

Nightmare tilted his head. He didn’t particularly remember Cross being like that in the past, but Killer was miles away more observant than he was. That was why Nightmare trusted him to be his second in command. He was a general; Killer was his chief of intelligence. Neither of them could operate without the other. And they both needed Cross to keep the peace between them and guard against the dangers of the road.

“Well, he’d better be prepared to meet the consequences of his actions. Dream is a client, and he is definitely not a part of our relationship. What would you say would be an appropriate punishment? 15 lashes?”

Killer grinned. If there was ever a monster who was the definition of a sadist, it was Killer. “Oh, at least. I’d say we edge him a few times, too.”

Nightmare shook his head. He had the final say in this, and he thought that that was going a bit too far. “It’s only been a few hours, Killer. If he continues this behaviour tomorrow, then we can think about edging him. Is that understood?”

“Yes, sir!” Killer said, saluting. Then he wandered off to begin unsaddling the horses for the night and getting everything ready for supper.

=====

Blue was fascinated by the fire. He could vaguely hear the rest of the Star Sanses and Nightmare’s Gang moving around, setting up things for the night, cooking food on the other side of the fire, and, in Ink’s case, chattering away. None of that really mattered to him right now, though. His whole attention was consumed by the fire.

It had been so long since he had seen an untamed fire like this. When he was younger he saw them every weekend while his Dad was still alright and well. Then, after his accident, Blue had seen them every night as he struggled to raise a child all on his own. Then Stretch had grown up enough to say he hated the smell of smoke and that was that. Blue hadn’t realized how much he missed it until now.

Blue’s hypnotized state ended when one of Nightmare’s Gang sat next to him and passed him a cup. Blue looked into it. It seemed to have… ketchup?

“Here, drink it. I’ve never met a Sans who didn’t like a condiment, and you’re pretty cute, so enjoy,” The stranger said. His voice was deeper than Blue would have pictured, deeper and hoarser. Blue would have predicted the hoarseness after all of the talking this monster had done today.

Blue honestly wasn’t sure who the monster behind him had been talking to, but he couldn’t judge. One of his best friends still hadn’t stopped talking. Ink would have been hoarse had he been a normal monster. He wasn’t. It wasn’t that he was crazy. Ink was the kind of anomaly that rules had to be built around. So was the dark boned skeleton Blue recognized from a few years ago. Now if only Blue knew his n-

“What’s your name, anyway? I’m Sans, obviously, but most people call me Dust. Not my brother, though. He still calls me Sans,” Dust said with a grin, his mismatched eye lights shining bright. The concentric rings of red and purple were almost as fascinating as the fire.

“I’m Blue,” he said, startled, “Technically it’s Dr. Blue, but I don’t actually practice at the moment, so most people call me Blue. My brother calls me Sans, though, too.”

The wide smile that shone from Dust’s skull was dazzling. Blue’s eye lights widened as he took it in. Wow, Dust was cute. A blush spread across Blue’s maxilla, along with a hesitant smile. Maybe he could do something about that? Stretch wouldn’t be happy, but he already wasn’t happy about this little trip. What would be the harm in having a little fun?

“Well, Dr. Blue, I’d love to have you examine me sometime,” Dust said, waggling his brow bones.

Oh, that was flirting! Blue knew what to do with flirting. He batted his eyelids back at Dust and leaned in. “Oh, I’d be happy to. I’m sure you have some pieces of your anatomy that can fascinate me for hours. I might even have one or two suggestions that would make your life more… pleasurable! Mweh heh heh heh!”

=====

Ink overheard his friend laughing and grinned from ear to ear. “Yay, Blue! I’m glad he’s feeling good enough to laugh. He’s always so stuffy! That was one of the reasons we took this trip; to make Blue relax a bit! He-”

“Stars, do you ever shut up?” Error growled. He was securing the last string to the ground with some kind of spike. Ink didn’t know the names of any of this stuff, and he barely knew Error’s name. As far as he was aware he had never left the city before. Then again, his memory was absolutely horrible. Not as bad as Blue’s dad’s, but still objectively horrible. Good thing he wasn’t objective!

“Nope!” Ink said, popping the p. “I don’t like it when things are quiet at all! It’s super scary and makes me feel isolated and alone in a place where no one can rescue me. The same thing happens if I see too much of the color white! It’s kind of a trigger, so I fill up the silence with as much noise as I can and make lots of art! I’m constantly repainting the walls of my apartment, and I always have some music playing at home.”

Error was giving Ink the funniest look. It was almost… sympathetic? Curiosity sparked in Ink’s mind. Why would anyone relate to an experience like that? Ink was about to ask when Error spoke up. “That’s stupid. You’ve got actual friends, idiot. They’re not going to abandon you.”

Ink nodded. “I know that, but that’s not how triggers work. Triggers are totally illogical. They’re weird little psychological phenomena that we don’t fully understand. A trigger can be anything from the smell of lilacs, to the taste of chemo medicine, to the feeling of tulle between your toes, to the sight of a specific crack on the ceiling of your house, to-”

“The sound of door locks? Those ones with a full bar you lock into place with a key?�� Error asked suddenly.

Ink took in the sight of him. Error looked haunted. Interesting. Ink’s curiosity made him a promise: he would find out everything about Error and his past that he could to satisfy his own curiosity. If he was going to do that, however, he needed to win Error’s trust.

“Yeah! That’s definitely something that could be a trigger,” Ink said, then he went on, “and it’s not like you’d have to know why it was a trigger, either. Sometimes we just have something that’s triggering to us without any explanation. Dream is that way about moles. The little furry animal, I mean. Totally sends him into a panic attack whenever they show up in a nature documentary we’re watching. Blue now likes to pre-screen any movies we’re going to see, just in case. Actually, he pre-screens them for a lot of things. Useless sex scenes, for one.”

Error snorted. Ink blinked at him, feeling an unfamiliar paint combination roll over him. He couldn’t have put a name to it, but there were bits of yellow, pink, and green in there. Yellow was happiness of all sorts, pink was affection or love, and green was the need for something. It could be the need for information, or food, or a plan, or… anything, really.

“Don’t,” Error snorted, “Don’t tell me you’re one of those sex purists who thinks you should only have sex after marriage. That’s so stupid.”

Ink laughed his own unique laugh that couldn’t decide between being a chuckle and a giggle. “No, I just think that those stupid sex scenes take away from the body of the story. Sometimes they’re good, but mostly they’re just put in for horny fans. They don’t even make any sense. People just don’t hop into bed with perfect strangers at the drop of the hat. At least, not any sane people. Not that sanity’s earned its good ratings, mind you.”

“Well that’s true,” Error agreed with distaste. “Sex shouldn’t be some kind of spectacle for anyone to see. I know I wouldn’t want anyone but my lover or lovers to see me like that. I might be the most handsome skeleton in existence, but that doesn’t mean I want to show myself off.”

It was Ink’s turn to snort. “You? Handsome? Your bones are black, Error. Don’t you know that the darker your bones are the less handsome of a skeleton you are?”

Error’s grin was absolutely crazy, and Ink couldn’t help but mirror it. It looked like so much fun! “That’s what they want you to think! After all, so many people are cursed with white bones. They had to come up with some way to boost everyone’s egos. Telling them that white bones are best is a good PR spin! I bet even you believe it about your own bones!”

Ink blinked at him, then slipped out of his overshirt and bared his bones. They were covered in patterns, almost random, that had more black to them than white. “It’s not like my bones are all white, though. I guess that means that, by your definition, I’m ugly, too! Oh well.”

Error’s larger eye light was now almost as wide as his socket. The other one, the grey one, had wandered off. Ink wondered if he could even see out of that eye or if he just had lazy eye. Either way it was disconcerting. “Well… you’re not that ugly. You’re less ugly than all those bleached-boned idiots in the movies. After all, you have some black on there. And the contrast looks… kind of nice, if a bit blurry. D’ya mind taking a step back?”

“Why?” Ink asked, tilting his head curiously.

“It’s none of your business why, chatterbox!” Error screeched, “Just do it!”

Ink sighed. He’d been doing so well with winning Error over, but nothing worth doing was worth doing too fast. He stepped back a few paces. “Alright, Error. Is this good?”

Error was too busy studying Ink’s patterns to answer. Ink studied his expression, committing it to memory. It was so… fascinating… the way he was staring at Ink. The play of light on the black bone of his skull was so enchanting, and the lines of his mouth were inviting in a way Ink couldn’t place. He longed to sketch it. Maybe later, after dinner, although the fire wouldn’t be the ideal light source. Needs must, though!

=====

Killer grinned as everyone took up their positions around the fire. The small blue skeleton and Dust were already seated, flirting with each other like there was no tomorrow. The artist and Error were arguing, but it involved more words out of Error than Killer had heard the entire time he’d been working for them. Blood and Sugar were sitting as far apart as they could stand, cooking the food and shooting each other longing glances. Cross was sitting at attention next to Dream and shooting him the most adoring looks. Dream seemed just about as oblivious as Nightmare could be. He was staring into space, zoning out. That left Killer to work on Nightmare. Perfect.

“Hey, Boss~” Killer purred as he slid in next to Nightmare, taking one of his tentacles into his hands and slowly massaging it. It was tense as hell. It was pretty obvious who was causing their leader so much stress. His eye light was fixed on Dream like it had been nailed in place.

“Yes, Killer?” Nightmare said distractedly, his eye light not leaving Dream, “What is it?”

Killer brought the tentacle up to his teeth, kissing it. “The tension in your aura is palpable, Boss. You need to relax a bit. Let me lavish you with all the attention you so richly deserve.”

Nightmare turned to face him, his eyebrow raised and his one eye light showing Killer his amusement. “Laying it on a little thick tonight, aren’t you? What are you trying to do, impress me? You know you already do. Or are you trying to distract me from Cross’ misbehaviour? I can see him over there. He’s acting like a lovestruck teenager.”

So are you, Killer thought to himself, a lovestruck teenager that’s fallen in love with his biggest rival. Out loud he said, “If you want to say that about Cross you have to say that about all of them. Dust is flirting with that small blue one like it’s his favorite hobby, Blood and Sugar are doing their Romeo and Juliet act, and Error is arguing so much with that artist that I wouldn’t be surprised if his voice wasn’t hoarse tomorrow.”

“The small one is called Blue and the artist’s name is Ink,” Nightmare said absently.

Killer blinked at him, then smiled his most winning smile - the one he wore when he was trying not to get caught at something sketchy. “You know, it would probably be a good idea if we introduced everyone before matching people up for the night. Why don’t I get everyone’s attention and you can tell people who they’ll be sleeping with?”

Nightmare tore his eye light off of Dream just long enough to narrow it at Killer. Then he sighed and shrugged. “Fine, then. No knives, though. I know you like to show off, but please, save it for another time.”

Killer saluted with the half-ironic, half-serious form that drove Nightmare crazy. “Got it, Boss!”

Then he turned to the center of the fire everyone was gathered around, raised his hands to his mouth, and hollered, “Heylalo, skellies! Listen up, the boss has something to say!”

Eight heads turned to face him with expressions that varied from annoyance to curiosity to mildly dissociative. Killer frowned slightly. Blood he could understand, but why would Dream be dissociating? Had something happened to him since he and Nightmare parted ways? Or was it just the general absentmindedness of a normal monster? Killer vowed to find out.

Nightmare’s grunt interrupted his thoughts. Killer turned to face his handsome datemate and listened closely to the orders of the night. “Now that I have your attention, I’m going to introduce you all and tell you who you’ll be sleeping with. Remember that these arrangements might change as the trip goes on, so if you can’t handle sleeping with someone please let me know. Blood, Sugar,” He pointed to the two of them in turn, “you’ll be sleeping together in the red tent. Ink, Blue,” Again he pointed to each of them in turn, “You’ll be sleeping in the blue tent. Killer, Dream,” He signaled who each of them was, “you have the yellow tent. Error, Dust, please take the black tent,” He gestured at both of them. “Finally, Cross and myself will take the green tent. My name is Nightmare. Now, does anyone have any questions?”

The boss studied each face in turn, as did Killer. They would compare notes later.

Cross was blushing and averting his eyes from Nightmare’s face. He knew he was in trouble for today, but that didn’t stop him from looking forward to being punished. It never had before.

Blue was looking at Dust with longing and a flushed face. The expression was mutual. Interesting. Maybe they should be paired up in a tent tomorrow night. Dust could use a bit of a chance to unwind.

Ink had clearly lost interest in the conversation. He was looking around at the clearing with his hand twitching in the air. Long strokes, short curves, and forceful jabs would have painted a picture if Ink had only been holding a paintbrush. Killer would have bet any amount of money that he was already planning a drawing or two of their surroundings. Artists were like that.

Blood was eyeing the food with hunger, as usual. After what he had been through it was hardly a surprise. Sugar was beaming at his brother. Only his practiced eye told Killer that he was ready for their night’s more… intimate activities. Hopefully this time they wouldn’t get caught.

Dream was eyeing Killer with something like anxiety, except moreso. It almost looked like fear. It did look exactly like the expression Nightmare had turned on him the first time they’d been asked to share a tent. Huh.

Finally, there was Error. Error, as usual, was grumbling to himself. Killer knew exactly what he was upset about. He hated having to share a tent with anyone. He was always on edge, worried that they were going to bump into him in the night. He knew better by now, though, than to complain. Nightmare had no sympathy for his disgust at the touch of others anymore. No one had ever touched him at night. That wasn’t going to change.

Nightmare nodded when he was satisfied that no one was going to complain. “Good. Now, Blood, please serve out tonight’s food to everyone. It’s time to eat.”

#bad sanses #star sanses #errorink #dustberry #killercreammare #error sans #ink sans #dust sans #underswap sans #killer sans #cross sans #xtale sans #dream sans #nightmare sans #wranglers au #nightmares gang of wranglers fic #yastaghr

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calumrose · 5 years ago

Text

Trigger [Police/Gang!AU] Chapter 4 || C.H

A//N: Here we bloody go! Enjoy chapter 4! I was gonna stick in a GIF for Calum but then realised he’s not actually in this chapter *spoiler ;)* But there’s almost no good gifs for my face claim for Eloise so... If one gets attached by the time I post this, then google images clearly felt like being nice to me for once.

Word Count: 11.3k

Summary: Eloise Gray and Calum Hood, not two people you would ever think to put together. What started as a ploy for power turned into a romance, resulting in the realisation that loving your enemy may not be such a bad thing after all.

Previous Chapters: Prologue / Chapter 1 / Chapter 2 / Chapter 3

22 Days Left

The park was surprisingly quiet for a Thursday afternoon. There was a quiet bustle that continued to fill the open space, people enjoying a peaceful afternoon walk while others enjoyed a more strenuous afternoon run. The sun beat down through the blue skies, the reflection of light bouncing off of the pond in the centre of the grassed area where Paige and Eloise sat together.

Eloise was in desperate need of a catch up with a friend; one who didn’t have any ties with a so-called gang. Paige was always one to think straight, and that’s exactly what Eloise needed right now, a straight talker. Her mind was a minefield and had been for the past few days; more so than usual. Typically, the reason for the treacherous tiptoeing around her own thoughts were due to the highly illegal escapades she found herself tied up in, but instead this time they were caused by a hopelessly handsome, tall Australian who she had been texting back and forth with for the past few days.

Ever since their date in Calum’s apartment, ever since she felt his lips against hers once again, she was in a trance. She couldn’t think straight anymore, unable to block him out. And unfortunately for her, she was struggling to convince herself that none of it was genuine.

Talking to Calum was so easy for her, it was as easy as walking. And it confused her. She was unable to comprehend how she felt so comfortable around him, how she was able to be rendered speechless by his words, how she was able to become putty in his hands without even realising. She hated that it seemed so involatile, unable to be stopped no matter how hard she tried to fight it – even though she didn’t make the strongest effort to.

A gust of wind blew through the park, catching Paige off-guard as she tried to keep her cap secured on her head against the wind, a gentle huff escaping her as she waited for it to calm down. Eloise’s hair flew freely from the breeze, her body welcoming the cold chill that rattled through her bones as she sat in the company of her friend. “Could you have picked a windier spot to sit down?” Paige scoffed, a playful smirk on her face as she turned in her seat, trying to find a better position to battle against the wind, to which Eloise sent a shrug in response.

Eloise and Paige had been friends for years, meeting in high school and being paired up in their history class for a project, becoming and remaining close friends ever since. She had introduced Eloise to her other friends, and then Eloise introduced them to Scott. The small group of them became a team during their time in school, a group who stuck together and supported one another throughout most trials and tribulations, especially when it came to Eloise.

“So, uh, y’know there’s a reason why I asked if we could meet up today,” Paige plucked a few strands of grass from the ground next to her, avoiding Eloise’s eyes. Her whole face was rosy, a mixture of that being from the radiating sun shining down on them and also from the remaining effects of the cold she had been suffering with.

“Uh huh,” Eloise sounded, trying to encourage Paige to continue with whatever she was trying to come out with. The words looked to be as if they were on the tip of the blonde’s tongue, her blue eyes, that shared the same shade as the sky, searching for something to focus on. “Paige, out with it already for god’s sake!”

Eloise could see the intake of breath Paige took in as her blue eyes finally met brown. “Remember the promotion I mentioned a few weeks back, the one for the Lead Graphic Designer position in Georgia?” Eloise felt her throat tighten at the word ‘Georgia’, realising very quickly what her friend was trying to explain to her. “And how I thought about going for it, but I fought against it because it meant packing up everything and moving to another state,”

Eloise nodded, “Yeah, I remember. And from what you had told me, it sounded pretty perfect you,”

Paige swallowed the lump in her throat as she plucked up the courage to continue, “Well, I applied for it, but I didn’t want to tell anyone in case I got my hopes up for nothing, but I’ve heard back. And they want me to start in a few weeks.”

Eloise mouth dropped; the corners of mouth tilted up as she stared at the blonde in surprise. She didn’t say anything at first, unable to find the words before she found the strength in her throat to let out a subtle shriek of joy before leaning over and wrapping her arms around her friend. “Paige, that’s great news! This is fantastic!” Paige’s arms were felt around Eloise’s shoulders, a gentle appreciative laugh coming from her nude coloured lips.

“Do you think I’m crazy for doing it?” Her voice spoke softly in Eloise’s ear, wonder lacing the sweet sound. Eloise pulled away from the hug, sitting back in her previous position as she studied the puzzled face of the gifted individual in front of her. “I mean, packing up my entire life and shipping it across to Atlanta, Georgia wasn’t exactly how I imagined myself taking the next step.”

“You’re not crazy,” Eloise assured her, “Trust me, this is the right thing for you to do. This is the big push you needed; I can feel it.”

Although she was excited for Paige, Eloise could feel her heart sink ever so slightly at the realisation of Paige’s departure. She knew she was selfish for feeling sorry for herself due to her friend’s success, thinking about how she was being left behind, being abandoned by someone she cared about so they could go and explore a new chapter of their life meanwhile she was left in New York to live the same old shambled chapters she knew would repeat. She needed to pull herself back again. This was Paige’s happy moment, she needed to embrace it for her. Paige didn’t seem too ecstatic about it herself, so, Eloise needed to be the one to fuel the excitement for her.

“You’ll be a right o’ southern belle by the time you come back and visit,” Eloise joked, trying to find some humour in the situation, trying to bring the mood back up, trying to make Paige moving to be a positive experience, “You’re gonna be that woman who owns a big ranch-style house and starts preparing for Thanksgiving three months early.”

Paige’s wide smile couldn’t be hidden as her laugh erupted from her gut, her hand slapping her knee at her friend’s poor excuse of a joke. It was the simple, but terrible, comedy that she would miss when she moved to Atlanta. Of course, she would make new friends, she knew that, but they wouldn’t be able to replace the close ones she had made throughout her years of living in the Big Apple.

“Have you told Roman about the job?” Eloise asked, her fingers raking through her dark hair, pushing the few straggling strands back into place. She could sense by Paige’s grimace that she had told him, and it obviously didn’t go too well. “How’d he take it?”

Paige let out a slow breath, leaning back on her hands as she tilted her head back, sunglasses resting comfortably against her nose as they protected her baby blues from the harsh rays. “He’s not exactly talking to me right now, it’s like being with a moody teenager. It’s like every time I try to have a conversation with him, he just brushes it off or excuses himself and says he’s busy.” Her heart clenched at the struggle she knew she was going through with Roman, their relationship always being one of compromise and conversation. They had always been able to talk things through; it was quite something if this transition was going to be what broke them.

“Have you thought about asking him to move with you?” Eloise spoke out, cautiously as she attempted to approach the matter with care, knowing that it probably wasn’t Paige’s favourite topic of conversation, “Could he not transfer to another school for work? I imagine Atlanta has plenty of high schools across the city, it wouldn’t be difficult for him to get a job over there.” She knew Roman had always been the stubborn one out of their friends, always having a plan for himself and that being the way it had to be done, no exceptions. Maybe that’s why he was so successful in his career.

Paige shook her head, pushing herself to sit up straight, pulling her knees up so they went up against her chest, her bare arms wrapping around them. “He’s already fought enough to get his professors to place him in a school in New York so he could stay at home, he won’t want to move again. So, I think we’re just going to do long distance, I just… I also just don’t think he’s ready to commit to the big step of moving to a new city, getting a place together, or being solely independent right now. El, you know I would love for him to come with me, but I know he’s not ready for that, not yet anyway,” She sighed, her eyes sparking in the sunlight, before she could add, “Jackson actually called me last night to talk about Roman. Apparently, he called him not long after I told him about Georgia, he said he was crying about how I was leaving and how he felt as though I was running away from him but then he even admitted that he’s too afraid to commit to the move, he claimed that he doesn’t know what he’s supposed to do.”

“Paige, you know he loves you so much,” Eloise tried to assure her friend, “He’s smitten and it’s painful to watch if I’m honest with you. Maybe this is what he needs; for you to move and start your next chapter on your own, maybe this will the kick up the ass he needs to know that you’re his whole life and nothin’ else makes him as happy as you do.”

Paige covered her face with her hands, her palms rubbing her soft skin as she let out a quiet groan of frustration before looking up and meeting Eloise’s caring gaze. “Jackson said the same thing. He told me this is what Roman needs for him to realise if I’m what he really wants.”

“I wouldn’t have put it quite like that. Paige, y’know that he wants you and only you, it’s more that he just needs a push to realise that he’s more in love with you than what he thinks.” Blue eyes met brown yet again as a deadpanned expression spread across the blonde’s face, a look that spoke a thousand words but one that also realised that Eloise had a point. Roman was deeply in love with Paige, he just needed to realise it.

“Can we change the subject now? I didn’t think me announcing my promotion would result in mini pity party for myself,” The blonde’s voice tried to speak more clearly, more confident as if she were trying to push back her emotions about her current situation and find a distraction, “What’s been going on with you lately? I haven’t seen you properly since your birth- “

Paige was cut up the sound of a phone beeping, looking towards where Eloise’s device lay next to her, unable to help as her eyes peered over and spotted the name that rested above a notification of a text message. Eloise grabbed the phone from beside her, her eyes spotting the name and trying to stop the tickling flutter of her heart as she opened it and read the text message from Calum.

I was thinking we could do a movie night or something? I’ve got Saturday night off if you’re free - I can pick you up and we can hang out. How does that sound?

Eloise had begun writing out her reply, her fingers quickly working against the screen before Paige’s voice stopped her halfway.

“Who’s Calum?”

Eloise prayed that the redness in her face could be played off as being caused by the heat of the sun, feeling the heat radiating throughout her entire body as she glanced up at Paige’s perfectly sculpted face that stared at the nerve-struck girl. Why she was getting nervous? Sometimes Eloise forgot that there were people in her life that weren’t linked to the game of the Gypsy Kings, forgetting that some people she spent time with had good intentions, some who only saw her as Eloise and not a Gypsy King.

“Do you remember when we were at Moxi’s for my birthday, and there was a guy at the bar that Mia kept pointing out to me?” Eloise spoke as she continued to type out her response to Calum’s text message before sending, I’m not 100% sure what I’m doing on Saturday, but I’ll get back to you on that. A movie night sounds good though, do I get to pick?

She wasn’t lying. She knew there was some business that needed taking care of in regard to the protection service plan she had come up with as a method of making money within the gang. She recalled Han mentioning that he and Jay had discussed rates and he had a potential client who was interested, but what she didn’t know was when exactly any details would be put in place or confirmed. It was quite literally being played by ear, just how she hated it.

She locked her phone and placed it back down onto the ground beside where she sat, her fingers brushing against the short green grass briefly before crossing her legs and resting her nimble hands in her lap. “I ended up running into him later on that night, we got talking and next thing I know I’m in the back of cab with him, kissing him, and before I can even register where I am, we’re at his house an- “

“Hold the fucking phone!” Paige yelled out, stopping Eloise in her tracks, she leaned forward as if to hear her better, her jaw nearly hitting the floor as her eyes were as wide as bowling balls, “You mean to tell me; that you pulled a guy, who had been watching you the entire night, went back to his place and slept with him?!”

“You’re getting ahead of yourself,” Eloise let out a gentle chuckle as she shook her head, “I never slept with him. I chickened out; I couldn’t bring myself to do it. But for some reason, he still asked me to stay the night.”

“This is definitely something that could only happen to you,” Paige shook her head twice as she smiled, “So, what? You guys just cuddled and kissed throughout the night and now you’re texting?”

“Yeah, pretty much.” Eloise realised a breathy laugh, a smile resting across her face as she thought about how odd it sounded. It did sound like something almost out of movie. Very odd indeed.

“Please tell me you have a photograph of him, or you can find him online or something? I’m sorry, but I can’t believe that you, Eloise Gray, actually committed the moral sin of pulling a guy at a bar when you’ve refused point blank to do anything along those lines for years, until I see photographic evidence of this man,” Paige wiggled her fingers in a ‘give’ motion to Eloise, waiting for the photograph of the man she claimed to be talking to.

Eloise rolled her eyes as she pulled open her text thread with Calum, scrolling through the recent conversation before finding what she was looking for. Calum had sent her a picture that morning; he was taking Duke out for a walk and had snapped a quick picture of himself and the pup and sent it to Eloise with the message, Before my dog and a trail of mud ruin my shoes, pray for me please. She chuckled to herself before clicking on the photo, enlarging it on her screen before handing the device over to Paige who gasped almost instantly at the sight on the screen.

If Paige’s eyes could have rolled out of her head then they would have in that moment, her jaw once again connecting with the floor. Eloise held back the awful the joke of needing to pick it up for her. She watched as Paige’s ocean eyes dissected the photograph, obviously taking longer than necessary. It wasn’t much longer before the phone was handed back to Eloise, it being locked and returned to the ground as Paige’s expression never faltered.

“If the wind changes your face is gonna stay like that.” She spoke in joking tone, laughing breathily as she watched the maths in Paige’s head try to add up what she had just seen.

“El, listen to me, you know that I love you very much, so what I’m about to say, I mean in the nicest way possible,” Paige began, her hands gentle waving around as if to try and portray that she was figuring out her words as she went, “You’ve got to be shitting me, right! El, he is gorgeous! How did you not sleep with him?”

Eloise rolled her eyes yet again, practically slamming her head into her hands as she held back a groan mixed with a laugh, shaking her head, and letting out an overexaggerated sigh before looking back up at the blonde. “Because it would seem as though I have some self-respect,” She stated, tilting her head to side ever so slightly, raising her eyebrows.

“You need to arrange a date with him, like right now, like right this very minute,” Paige insisted, pointing at the mobile phone that lay next to Eloise’s thigh, “You’re crazy if you don’t, considering you’ve apparently been texting since you left that man with blue balls, so clearly he’s got some interest.”

“Just because we can have a conversation after I nearly slept with him, doesn’t mean I need to go on a date with him,” Eloise shrugged, knowing that she wasn’t going to win this argument that she was starting with Paige, already witnessing the frustration grow on her friend’s fair face.

“Eloise, I swear to god, if you don’t go on a date with this man, I think I might combust!”

“That’s very extreme, Paige.”

“Just go on a date with him please, if it’s awful then fine; you don’t see him again.” Paige practically begged.

“Why are you pushing so hard for me to go on a date with him? And how do you know if I haven’t already?” Eloise quirked an eyebrow, smirking at catching her friend out on her words.

“Because this is the first time that I’ve known you t- I’m sorry, what did you just say?” The blonde stopped herself midsentence, needing to make a doubletake to be sure she heard Eloise correctly, “You’ve already had a date? El, why didn’t you just say that at the beginning?!”

“Because you never asked,” Eloise smirked, laughing wholeheartedly at her friend’s stunned expression, as if it irritated her that she never caught on quicker.

One of Eloise’s favourite pastimes had to be irritating her friends in the harmless ways of catching them out with small things like this, along with teasing them about matters she knew irritated them. It never came from a place of malice, only ever full of fun.

“Well, I hope you’re about to tell me how it went,” Paige’s perfectly plucked eyebrows raised along her smooth forehead, “You’ve kept me in suspense this long, I think the least you could do is fill me in on what godforsaken acts the two of you got up to on your date.”

Eloise couldn’t help as she bit the inside of her cheek, gnawing gently on the flesh as she recalled the night that Calum and she hadn’t stopped talking since. It was if she could still feel his touch of her waist, the searing heat of his hands making imprints on her body that she couldn’t get rid of. She could still feel the light stubble of his chin scratching against her palms, neck, and shoulder as he kissed her. She hated that she remembered it so well, hating that she had to admit to herself that she enjoyed it. She wasn’t supposed to revel in the feelings he gave her. She was supposed to pretend that she did.

It was almost like the feeling ate away at her, but she enjoyed it. She liked the feeling the thought of Calum and that night gave her. It scared her nonetheless but yet she still had an inkling to feel it again. Was she losing her mind? Possibly.

She recalled to Paige about how his home was bigger than her apartment; the living alone being close to the size of both her own living room and kitchen combined. The details of how she discovered that Calum had a dog flowed from her lips, laughing as she admitted that she would have accepted his date offer a lot quicker if she had known about the dog beforehand. She got excited over the food that she found in his kitchen, explaining how he insisted they order takeout but she couldn’t stop wanting to eat some of the leftovers he had – having not had a proper homecooked meal like that in what felt was forever – and it being one of the best things she had ever tasted.

The smile on Eloise’s face only grew as she talked where he was from, how his family were living in separate parts of the world, highlighting how amazing it must be to be able to travel to those places and be reunited with his family after time apart.

“Okay, and then what happened?” Paige pushed for more, leaning forward as if she was a child at story time. She thrived off of romance stories, basking in people’s tales of first dates and romantic proposals, only fuelling her urge as the hopeless romantic that she was.

Eloise froze for a moment, sighing as she knew there was something she had forgotten to mention about Calum. She didn’t fear Paige’s reaction, knowing that she wouldn’t react like some, but she knew that with her next statement, there would only be a response of concern for Eloise. Guess she better get on with it…

“We talked about his job for bit as well,” Eloise nodded, letting out a sharp exhale before she looked over at Paige to watch her reaction to her following words, “It turns out he’s a detective in the NYPD.” Her brown eyes watched as Paige’s body stopped in place, her eyes blinking a few times before she slowly leaned back into a normal seated position, her face puzzled as she tried to muster the courage to say the words on her tongue.

“He’s a cop?” Eloise couldn’t decide whether Paige was making a statement or asking a question, her lips remaining parted as if she was going to continue, “El, a-are you sure? I mean, I know I’m not involved in the whole gang lifestyle but… El, surely this isn’t good. What if they find out? What’s going to happen?”

“You don’t need to worry about it, it’s alright,” Eloise shook her head, trying to keep her voice calm as a way of reassuring Paige’s concerned demeanour, “It’ll work itself out, I can feel it.”

“Are you that’s not just paranoia of someone shooting you for dating a cop that you’re feeling?” Paige spoke through gritted teeth, keeping her voice quiet as if it were a secret.

Eloise was thankful for friends like Paige who weren’t involved in the same affiliations as she was. She knew that Paige would be supportive of her decisions but at the same time, she would show more concern for Eloise’s wellbeing, acting as a friend rather than a member she ran with. Eloise had found that her friends like Paige and Roman had more compassion than the others within the Gypsy Kings.

“Like I said, it’ll be fine,” Eloise repeated, her voice stronger this time, trying to solidify the assurance in Paige that it would truly work out. Of course, Paige didn’t know the whole story but that’s fine. That’s the way Eloise needed to keep it.

She couldn’t help but note the shift of tension between them; nothing but worry in Paige’s eyes for her dear friend who was doing something that she couldn’t decide if she would label it as reckless or plain stupid. Eloise could see the mental fight Paige was having with herself over if she should discourage Eloise or if she should give in to her antics and allow for her friend to be happy in a romantic setting. Only Paige didn’t know the actual reason as to why she even in a romantic setting.

But it was the next question that followed that relaxed Eloise, giving her the comfort that she didn’t quite know she wanted. Or needed. She felt a makeshift weight practically lift as Paige let out an understanding breath and asked, “So, does it he look good in his uniform?”

Eloise couldn’t stop the thankful smile from creasing her lips, silently thanking Paige for trusting her words that she couldn’t even be one hundred percent trusting in herself.

“I’m still yet to see the full blues,” Eloise chuckled, “But I think they only wear those for formal police matters, if they’re attending a gathering with the commissioner or something along those lines. I’m not too clued up on how it works honestly.”

Eloise continued to talk about the date, mentioning how they found common ground of knowing people who had the same character. She missed out a few bits and pieces, dismissing Paige from having to know the full details of their discussions. Her smile returned when she thought about the turn that the date took when they were sat on the couch. She described how his eyes were darker than her own but yet somehow brighter, she swore she could see gold in them if she looked hard enough. She smiled at Paige’s small coos throughout the story, a fond smile spread across her face as she listened while Eloise reminisced about her forbidden night with the detective. She laughed as she talked about how she didn’t even hear her phone ring when she was kissing him, as if she had become deaf to all that surrounded her.

“Wait, who was calling you?” Paige asked, eyebrows furrowed as she watched Eloise look up at the sky, as if she was watching a moving picture of her night in the bright landscape.

“Scott,” Eloise scoffed, shaking her head barely before she looked over at her blonde companion of the day, “He called me because he had an emergency which he needed me to help with. Apparently, there was no one else he could call without being told to ‘get over it’.” She raised her fingers and air-quoted the words, unable to hold back the laugh at the memory.

“You’ve got to be kidding me!” Paige laughed out loud, a slight groan escaping as she playfully slapped Eloise’s leg a few times, “He cockblocked you!”

Eloise couldn’t hold back the giggles as they continued to erupt, shaking her head in agreement. “I felt bad for Calum a little bit. I had to apologise and tell him that my best friend was having a crisis and I needed to go and help him.”

“That poor man.” Paige said through the laughs, trying to sound of sympathetic as possible. She rubbed her face with her freehand, her cheeks beginning to ache a little from laughing, “So, what was Scott’s crisis if it was so urgent that it quite literally broke up your date?”

“Do you remember that Lydia girl that he disappeared with in Moxi’s?” Eloise asked, gaining an immediate nod in response from Paige, “Well, apparently she had turned up at my apartment demanding to speak to Scott and thought that my apartment was his. She was kicking and screaming at the door, so she phoned Scott and told him to come out and speak to her- “

“But she’s outside your apartment in Sunset Park, and doesn’t he live over in Mapleton- “

“Exactly! So, he headed over to try and stop her from breaking my door down. And when he got there, all my neighbours were standing around and asking why there was a girl outside my apartment having a meltdown, which only got worse when she saw him. And from what Scott told me about why she was upset, I don’t think he called her back after she left him a voicemail asking to see him again and she didn’t take it too well, so, she thought it would be a good idea to come and confront him in person.” Eloise struggled to hold a straight face as she recalled the words Scott had spewed out to her a few nights ago.

“So, you were called – why? Because it’s your apartment or did he actually need you to do something?” Paige questioned, looking at Eloise with perched brows as if waiting for the punchline.

“Here comes the best part; Scott asked me to escort her out of the building because he was too afraid.”

“Hold on, just wait- wait a minute… Scott was too scared to ask a girl to leave because she was crying, so he calls you, a fellow girl, to come and get rid of his problem? And yet, he can fire a gun and not flinch?” Paige asked, waving her hand around as she was piecing it together, gaining a nod from Eloise. She had summed it up perfectly. Paige’s face fell into her hands as she tried to hold in her laughter, fighting the urge to allow the entire park to hear her. Eloise joined her in the laughter, her hand coming up and wiping away the small water leaks from her eyes before she tried to catch her breath.

It took a few minutes for them to compose themselves, the harmless laughter still being shared between them as they sat again and enjoyed their time together in the park, embracing the few hours they could spend with one another before they were separated by busy schedules. Mainly Paige’s.

But unfortunately for Eloise, she was about to be brought back down to earth from her short, temporary high, Paige’s voice asking her a question she had hoped she would avoid.

“You know I hate to be a negative Nancy but, El, do you realise how bad it looks for a goddamn criminal to be dating a cop? Even you have to see how alien that is, and I hope you know what you’re doing because the last thing I want- “

“Do you wanna know something, Paige?” Eloise scoffed, her tongue poking the inside of her cheek as she took a shaky but angry breath, trying to contain her sudden frustration with her friend, “I’m not worried about it. It’s almost as if for the first time, I feel normal. When I think about him or I’m with him, I feel like a normal twenty-one-year-old. I feel like I’m your average young adult who is dating someone just as average. But now I think I actually like him and that’s what fucking scares me. I’ve never been afraid of someone holding a gun to my head, or someone coming at me with a knife, but all of a sudden, I like somebody who might even like me back, and I feel like I’m dying insi- “

Her voice cracked throughout her rushed statement, her voice and emotions taking over as she let the words spew from her mouth without even thinking about them. Did she just –

“So, you like him?” Paige’s voice piped up, looking at Eloise as she waited for an answer, “You like Calum?”

Eloise thought for a moment. The obvious answer was for her to say ‘yes’. It was the easy answer for her to give, the ploy of the Gypsy Kings sitting in the back of her mind as she thought of her answer, but also the way her heart quivered at the thought of his smile. She fought over why the answer was so easy, was it because she knew that it made the plan easier to work with? Or was it because she did? Did she really like Calum?

Her mind flooded back a few seconds to the statement she had just allowed to consume the space between her and Paige, allowing for the first time, her emotions about someone to be out in the open, for them to be said and shared with someone other than the voice in the back of her head. The realisation of her words set in, the discovery of the admission she had made sitting prominent in her mind as she looked for some sort of excuse as to why she had said it, a seed of doubt attempting to sprout as if on instinct, trying to figure out why she had just said all that. It was false, wasn’t it? She didn’t feel all those things for Calum. She barely knew him.

But if that were the case, why did she find her heartbeat picking up at the thought of telling someone she liked him? Why did she enjoy the flutter of butterflies within her stomach as she thought of him on each of those nights? Why did she try and play the psychology game, trying to believe she had somehow psyched herself into feeling this way for the sole purpose of the scheme following through?

Why couldn’t Eloise just admit to herself that what she had just said out loud was the truth?

And then she surprised herself.

“Yeah I do,”

Paige’s teeth were showing in her smile, her hand reaching out and wrapping around her dear friend as she pulled her into a hug, squeezing her gently. It shouldn’t have been such a big moment for Eloise to admit she had some form of feelings, but it was. It was a moment that Paige had never seen before; none of her friends had seen this moment before when it came to Eloise.

“I don’t know how to describe it,” Eloise’s voice began to speak, quiet and almost uncertain as if every sentence was a question, “It feels I’m going to be sick every time I see him. It feels like I can’t think straight without something about him appearing in my mind, or I see something that makes me think of him. I don’t know how to feel other than as if I’m on fire, as if someone’s dipped me in gasoline and set me alight.”

Paige’s expression was one of admiration, basking in the admission she had just witnessed, watching as Eloise discovered what it felt like to be attracted to someone in a way other than through a physical connection. It was a proud moment, one that Paige didn’t want to take away from Eloise, one that she wanted to allow the brunette to cherish for as long as she could.

“It’s like I have no control over it,” Eloise let out a breath, staring down at her hands as if they were foreign objects, things she had never seen before, “I don’t know what this means and that’s what scares me.”

And if Eloise thought she was scared of her own feelings; she truly hadn’t known what fear felt like until Paige spoke.

“You’re in love.”

It was if the air in her lungs suddenly evaporated, disappearing at the speed of light as she stared at Paige with an incredulous look on her face. She was certain she had heard wrong, refusing to the believe that word had just been spoken in regard to how she was feeling. There was no way that Eloise felt that, not with knowing what was brought along as baggage as if in a holy matrimony.

“Don’t be stupid, Paige, I’m not. I said I liked the guy, that doesn’t mean that I’m in lo- “

She couldn’t even bring herself to say the word, the word itself brought an uncomfortable queasy sensation to her stomach. And not the one she felt previously and guiltily enjoyed when she thought of the Australian officer. She shook her head at the thought, refusing point blank to even consider such a word for a man she had only technically been on one date with.

“You know I’m right.” She smirked, nudging Eloise’s t-shirt clad shoulder. Eloise reached to the ground, finding the sleeve of her leather jacket she was sitting on, allowing her fingers to fiddle with the material and roll up the sleeve, as if it were an attempt to briefly distract herself from the words of Paige Romanoff.

“I know you’re ridiculous.” Eloise countered, sighing as she dropped her jacket sleeve and picked up her phone, unlocking it to find the picture of Calum still on her screen from when her phone was last open. She took a deep breath as she returned to the text thread, letting her fingers work as she tried to piece together a sentence to send to him, her body rushing ahead before her mind had a chance to take a moment and realise what she was doing. Before she could think about her actions, she had pressed send.

It looks like I’m free on Saturday. I’ll get the train into Queens and meet you at your place just after 6 if that works for you. Guess I’ll see you then.

“That better be you arranging another date,” Paige’s eyebrows wiggled at the phone, smirking at Eloise’s subtle concentration as she wrote out the text before she locked her phone and put it away.

Eloise half-rolled her eyes at the blonde’s comment, shaking her head lightly before her lips pursed and she found herself asking, “Why does the word ‘date’ suddenly sound so dirty coming from you?”

“Because you know that it’s more than that,” Paige teased, her shoulders rising as she rubbed her hands together, “You’re finally letting your heart make decisions for you, and for the first time in your life, it looks like you can trust it.”

“If I can trust my heart, then why do I feel like it’s only going to betray me and let me drown when it all goes wrong?”

Paige couldn’t handle her frustration, her hand raising in the air for a second before lowering back down as she composed herself, “I swear, El, I am this close to hitting you one day,” She showed her index finger and thumb mere millimetres apart, “I don’t think you realise how afraid you are sometimes. You’re so scared of letting yourself be happy that you talk yourself into seeing people as only being something that will hurt you, and before they even have a chance to prove you wrong, you push them away. And maybe for the first time in the time that I’ve known you, Eloise, you may just be starting to let your guard down a little. This is a good thing.”

“So basically, what you’re saying is I self-sabotage?” Her cocoa-coloured eyes squinted a little at Paige as if trying to force the admission out of her, her chapped lips rolling into her mouth.

“What I’m saying, El, is that you’re so scared of letting people see the real you that you block them out before they have a chance. And it’s about time people got to see you for who you really are. Because believe it or not, but you’re pretty fucking fantastic. Let them see you for once.”

Paige’s words struck a chord within Eloise that she didn’t see coming. The string of words resonated with the scared young woman who sat opposite her blonde friend. Maybe Paige was right? Maybe it was all just because she was scared? Maybe people did have good intentions, but Eloise was too blinded by her fear of being hurt that she eliminated all possibilities; good and bad. She was too afraid to be loved and abandoned that she banished all the chances of feeling that again.

Maybe it was time that changed.

*****

22 Days Left

It was colder than usual for New York, especially in August. The gentle breeze drifting through the city only adding the chill Eloise tried to protect herself from, a maroon hoodie being worn beneath her jacket as an extra layer. Her back was resting against a brick wall behind her, her left foot perched up on it also as she stood opposite the familiar face of Han, the only light source coming from the unstable neon sign above them and the gentle amber glow that flowed from the windows of the bar they stood outside. The pink light giving a rosy tinge to their skin tones, making them seem almost as if they were shadows in the alley without it.

Eloise stood with one hand in her jacket pocket, her phone in the other as she mindlessly swiped through Twitter, her eyes only skimming the brief paragraphs of words that people spilled on the bird-themed app.

It was late. It was very late. Eloise spotted the clock at the top of her phone screen, sighing as she thought about how this had become a normal sociable hour for the likes of her. It was coming close to one in the morning, the dark sky canvasing the city as it remained lit with the help of streetlamps, although many of them were broken and would only let out a flicker of a golden light every so often. The alley was practically silent around them, the only sound being the rare car that passed along the road on the other side of red building.

Well it would have been silent if Han didn’t make his voice known, disturbing Eloise from her peaceful interaction with her mobile phone.

“Jay’ll be out soon and then we can get going, this is the last stop for the night,” Han rested a hand on the back of his head, attempting to secure the grey beanie he wore that had begun to slip, “Mooney just needs to pay up and then- “

“What’s Mooney even paying for? He’s a businessman - a successful one at that - what business does he have with Jay that makes him drag us out in the middle of the night?” Eloise sighed, exasperated as she slid her phone back into her pocket, as she looked at the face which she knew all too well.

“Mooney needed a job done a while back, and Jay offered to do it for a good price. It’s been three months since Mooney’s problem was taken care of and Jay still hasn’t seen a penny, so he wanted to call in and at least get a down payment on what he’s owed.”

Eloise raised her eyebrows knowingly, her tongue pushing against her bottom lip before speaking. “And by ‘down payment’ you mean he’s going to take exactly what’s owed. I know as well as you do, Han, Jay doesn’t do things by halves. But why are we here, last time I checked, Jay can handle himself, can’t he?”

“He just wanted some backup in case things got rowdy and they didn’t want to pay up. Think of it as a way of stopping Mooney from doing something stupid.” Han dropped his head a little, eyes meeting Eloise’s brown ones as he let the right corner of his mouth quip up.

It wasn’t Mooney who they needed to worry about doing something stupid. Eloise knew that, and so did Han although he didn’t want to admit it. Jay always tended to get ahead of himself in situations like this.

Eloise let herself focus on the faint sound of chatter and music she could hear from a few buildings over, smiling briefly at the thought of the club that had recently opened on the street behind Mooney’s; the new attraction being at the very end of the road but yet the music was so loud she could still hear it. She recognised the song, tapping her foot along to the beat in the hope of making time pass by quicker if she lost herself in the music.

A presence was felt next to her, a warm shoulder nudging against her own before her eyes met Han’s cold ones yet again. He had shifted to stand beside her, his back resting against the same wall as he searched his pocket for the very thing that Eloise rolled her eyes at the sight of. “You know if this gang doesn’t kill you then those definitely will.” She scoffed, sighing as she watched Han pluck a white cigarette from the tattered box, his other hand holding his lighter.

It was a habit she never understood, one that she never got into. She didn’t hate smoking; it just wasn’t her thing. She watched as the amber light sparked from the tip of the lighter, the end of the cigarette sizzling softy against the flame before Han took his first drag of the sin, holding his inhale for a few seconds and basking in the gentle burn the filled his lungs before the grey smoke escaped his lips in a long exhale, “I think I’ll take my chances.”

Eloise shook her head, rolling her eyes as she watched the man who she had grown up with smoke what she assumed to be his hundredth cigarette that day. Okay, maybe not his hundredth but at least double digits.

“You haven’t said much about the plan in the past few days, since I rumbled you about your little escapade you’ve been practically void,” Han gently coughed as he held the cigarette between his index and middle finger, his spare hand resting by his side, “Care to give me an update on our little cop friend and you? How far along we are?”

Eloise fought against her natural instinct to freeze, focusing to keep her body as casual as possible, to control her heartbeat, breathe, as well to try and prevent her voice from shaking nor cracking. Why did she have to so much work into trying to sound convincing? Oh yeah – she admitted that she may or not actually like the man who’s she’s supposed to be pretending to like. Something that almost felt as if it was a mild form of Stockholm Syndrome, but instead she was beginning to feel a warmth inside of her for the man she was supposedly lying to, the man she was setting up, the one who she was betraying. She hated that she felt guilty about it: for both Calum and the Kings. They were all she had ever really known, they had taken her in and protected her when she was at her worst, Han specifically, taking her in an older brother and making sure she was cared for.

Eloise couldn’t help but feel as though she was throwing everything that he had done for her right back in his face, all because she let her heart get in the way. But at the same time, she couldn’t bring herself to agree to throwing Calum out of the plane without a parachute, something inside of her didn’t want to hang him out to dry.

The brunette worked to keep her expression stale as she responded to Han, “As good as we can hope. I’ve been working my way into him bit by bit, now I just need to figure out who I slip in that I’m a one of us and pray that he doesn’t arrest me on the spot. This is hard bit, Han. If he reacts how most cops would, then this whole plan goes up in smoke.”

“Then don’t let him react like most cops,” Han responded with ease, “Tell me who you are. Lie to him more, tell him you want out and you need his help to do that. El, if I’m being honest, it doesn’t seem like it’s the hardest thing you need to do. Just tell a few lies, what harm is it doing?”

A lot is what she wanted to say but she bit her tongue. “Fine. Let’s see how long it takes for him to shoot me once I reveal the news.”

“Don’t be overdram- “

Han’s words were cut short by the sound of a gunshot echoing from inside the bar. Heavy footsteps carried Eloise and Han inside through the back of the bar, bursting through the stockroom door that connected into the main common area. The sight that greeted them was one that neither expected to see that night. Well, they had hoped not to.

Eloise’s shocked eyes were drawn to the floor, witnessing the aftermath of the explosive gunshot she had heard when she was outside. A young boy was lying on the wooden floor of the bar, a seeping bloody wound in his chest as he gasped for air, his hands sprawled against the floor as if the shot had paralysed him. His blond hair stuck to his sweat-covered forehead, his chest shaking as he tried to breathe through what Eloise could only imagine was a horrendous pain. He didn’t look old enough to be involved in whatever business Jay was conducting inside the bar, he was so young. She saw the small scattering of acne scarring on his cheeks, god he was only a kid. He must’ve been sixteen, barely, and yet he was lying there on the bloody floor fighting for his life.

She could see Mooney stood by the bar, his eyes shining as tears flowed and he reached out as if to try and touch the boy though the distance between them didn’t allow him to do so. A million emotions were encrypted on the man’s face: fear, sadness, desperation, and anger were the prominent few. It was if someone flicked a switch in her head that allowed her to create the link between the shaking body on the floor and the man across the bar; it was Mooney’s son.

Thoughts were rushing through Eloise’s mind at a million miles an hour, her hands shaking ever so slightly as she tried to figure out what happened. Her eyes met the tall body of Jay as he stood against the pool table in the centre of the room, wiping his hands on what she presumed to be a tea towel, her eyes meeting his briefly before his green connected with Han as he tossed the towel in his direction. Han caught it as if it were second nature, his fingers grasping the contaminated cloth as he stared at his friend in shock.

There were so many questions floating in the air that she wanted to ask, although clarification of what had happened wasn’t necessary, but she still found herself needing to hear it to believe it. Like the teenager on the floor who was grasping onto his life wasn’t enough of an indication of exactly what had unfolded.

“Jay, what – “

“He came out of nowhere, started waving a gun around and making threats,” Jay excused, a natural uncaring shrug rolling off his shoulders, “He was going on about how he was going to kill me if I didn’t get out. So, I taught him a lesson in why you don’t make empty threats to a Gypsy King.”

The way the excuse rolled off of his tongue just emphasised the snake that he was. A sick twisted creature who would do whatever it took to get what he wanted, without a care or second thought for those who stood in his way. His words stung Eloise’s ears as he spoke, each one laced with poison as he shrugged off a murder as if the victim was a used tissue.

The lack of a weapon next to the body only proved Jay’s lie, having no indication that the boy had raised a weapon. He probably didn’t even know how to use a gun.

“You murdered my son!” A voice cried out, the eyes in the room falling on the broken man who knelt by the bar, his face soaked from tears as his body shook in grief, “You killed my boy!”

The sound of Jay’s heavy footsteps echoed throughout the empty bar, his face being mere inches from the older man as he lowered to his level, raising a warning finger to the man known as Mooney, before he spoke in a quiet yet aggressive voice, “And you’ll be next if I don’t get my money. You’ve got three days and I’ll back. If I don’t see every single penny on that bar top by the time I come back then his life won’t be the only one lost in this bar, so take this as a warning.”

He was cold towards the grieving man, having no sorrow for what he had just taken from him. Eloise didn’t even register his hard shoulder pushing past hers as he shoved past Han and her, looking towards Han as he spoke quietly, “Clean up the mess before the cops get here.”

The fact that he discarded the boy as a ‘mess’ allowed Jay’s lack of empathy to shine through. The hollowness of his heart could be felt by everyone as he left the bar, the door slamming behind him as he abandoned the crime scene he had just created. This wasn’t right.

Eloise followed Han’s figure as he ran out of the bar behind Jay, keeping hot on his tail, as he let his voice yell out in frustration. She noticed how Mooney’s eyes never left his son’s body, the shaking of his chest matching the young boy’s as they both took what felt like their last breaths. Something that she couldn’t bring herself watch any longer, making her exit from the bar. She wanted to apologise to Mooney, to apologise to his son. But she couldn’t, she knew she wouldn’t be able to find the strength nor the words that he needed to hear. She doubted that Mooney himself even knew what those words were. The only thing she did know is that he would want Jay to pay for what he did.

“What the fuck happened in there?” Han was at the point of destruction, outraged and hot at the actions of his companion, “Jay, what fuckin’ happened?”

Jay let out an unbothered huff, finding his car keys in his pocket before making his way down the alley towards where his car was hidden away. He was walking away from his own mess that he created. He always walked away. “He had it comin’.”

That wasn’t the right thing to say. It only fuelled Han’s disbelief of what had erupted moments ago, his anger being released at full throttle as he out cried, “He was a kid, Jay. He was a fuckin’ kid, and you shot- You fuckin’ shot him as a warnin’!”

Eloise stood witness to Han’s anger unfolding, watching as how with each passing second, the events began to trouble him more and more; the consequences of Jay’s actions playing prominent in his mind as he shouted. She noted Jay’s face remained cold, unphased and stern as he watched Han’s emotions get the better of him for a brief few minutes. She couldn’t ignore the growing concern in her stomach, her eyes looking around at the dark alley, knowing it wouldn’t be long before the yelling match would be heard by a stranger passing by in the night resulting in an unwanted visit from the cops if the two men in front of her continued as they seemed fit.

The unbothered manner of which Jay handled Han’s accusations, the meaningless shrugs and rolls of his eyes only reminded her that this wasn’t the first time this kind of thing had happened. But never before, had he shot a kid. He used people as warnings all the time to get what he wanted, used rivals’ loved ones as persuasion tactics, playing with their life in order to gain control and power over a situation. He called everyone else around him soft, talking about them as if they were sand which crumbled and dissipated at the touch of someone’s hand. She could remember him yelling about how it’s people like him who have the drive to better their position in the world, to climb up the food chain to get to the top. She knew he wasn’t right; she knew he was truly the broken one in the Gypsy Kings. He was the one who had lost all control, never knowing when enough was enough.

It was Jay’s loud roar that caused Eloise to jump, her body not ready for the loud volume that erupted from him. Her eyes watched his as they stared into Han’s, a warning finger, much like the one he had at Mooney before, was raised in Han’s face as he spat out, “You’re gonna back off if you know what’s good for you. You’re going to go back inside that bar and clean up like I told you or else there’s gonna be a second body needin’ disposed of tonight, got it?”

Eloise couldn’t see Han’s face, but she could tell from the tense muscles in his shoulders that he was furious, a bitter, “Fine” being heard in the quiet of the night.

Jay took this as his queue to leave, slipping into his dark car, matching his heart, before he sped off down the streets of downtown Brooklyn, leaving Han and Eloise to face the music of the destruction he left in his path. It took a few minutes for Han to move, the towel still in his hands as he turned around and began to make his way back inside the bar, as if what Eloise had just witnessed never happened.

“What’re we supposed to do now?” Eloise’s quiet voice sounded louder in the dark of the night, her hands being tossed into her pockets as she tilted her head, waiting for a response from Han, the anger still visible on his face.

“We continue as normal,” He returned, scrunching the cloth in his left hand, “Nothing’s changed so we keep going.”

Eloise couldn’t believe what she was hearing. She had stood aside and watched Han lose his mind over the death of a boy and now he was saying they do nothing. This wasn’t the Han she knew. As much as Han was a stickler for the rules, she knew he couldn’t stand by and let this go.

“So, you’re just going to let this slide? Han, he’s getting out of hand and you know it. He’s taking things too far and he’s out of control… We’ve lost too many people on his watch and the city have lost too many at his hand. How many more innocent people have to die for you to realise that he’s out of his depth, as are you?” Eloise fought against the crack in her voice as she thought about the innocent life that was lost that night, trying to prevent herself from acting as though she had been the one to lose someone like the man inside the bar who would be grieving over a son.

“What else am I supposed to do, huh El? What choice do I have?” As much as she fought her own voice cracking under the pressure, she noted how Han didn’t fight his as he asked her the painful question. She knew it conflicted him, put him in a position that he didn’t like.

“We have rules for a reason, Han, and you kn- “

“Do you not think I fucking know that, El?! He has started a war that he doesn’t even know is coming. He’s just given every other gang in this entire city a reason to come after him once and for all, and they’ll be coming after us as well. He’ll get what’s coming to him, and he’ll finally pay for not playing by the rules.” Han let out a defeated groan, his hand ripping the beanie from his head as he threw it to the floor. “We’ll all be the ones paying for his actions.”

“And that’s what you want? You’re happy for us to stand back and let the others come and tear us all apart piece by piece all because Jay decided to go rogue. But until then, we’re supposed to just sit around like nothing has happened and wait for someone to decide that enough is enough. How long is that going to be?” Eloise rolled her eyes, unable to stop her voice getting louder as the anger inside her stomach bubbled, “It’s not good enough, Han.”

Angry was an understatement to the feeling that was shared between Eloise and Han. There wasn’t a word to describe the rage inside of them to its true extent. Eloise’s was mixed with sadness, sympathy lacing her voice as she thought about the grieving family who would never share a smile together with their son. She was getting too emotionally attached to those who were tied up with the Gypsy Kings; she knew that. She had known that since that night with Calum. Her emotions were going to be what destroyed her.

“I can’t just stand aside this time and wait for someone to come and kill me all because of his stupid mistake. I know what’s it’s like to lose everything to a stupid gan- “ She stopped herself, trying to hold her emotions together as her vision blurred with the salty tears, “I know what it’s like to lose someone and to never get the closure of knowing that those who did it paid for their actions. That family deserve that, it’s the least they deserve after tonight.”

“And that’s exactly what they’ll get if you just have patience. El, we still need to look out for ourselves. We’ve got just over three weeks until that shipment comes in, we’ve still got time to get through this and then we can run. We can take the money and get out of New York, we can leave Jay to his own devices and let him suffer the consequences. We just need to hold on, just until the deal is done.” Han looked desperate, as if searching Eloise’s eyes for some sort of answer to a question he didn’t know he was asking. Eloise could hear the struggle in his voice, she could see the tiredness in his eyes as he pained at the way she looked at him. It was as if he were stranger, someone she couldn’t recognise anymore; someone who was willing to play blind to death when they knew better. “Just please be patient, and we’ll work this out.”

The word sounded bitter to her, the thought of it against her tongue leaving a sour taste. Patience. How was she supposed to stand back and be patient when she knew a young boy wouldn’t graduate high school and go off to college? How was she supposed to be patient when she knew a family would be planning a funeral that they never should’ve needed to? How was she supposed to be patient when she would stand opposite the man who took an innocent life and act as though it was nothing? She couldn’t grasp how that was expected of her. She had witnessed an innocent’s death before, but this time it was different. It was never a child. Never.

Her eyes fell to her boots as she scuffed them along the ground, taking a shaky breath as she tried to compose herself, tried to withhold her emotions as Han called out her name. She painfully allowed for her brown eyes to meet his broken ones, expression stoic as she nibbled at the skin on the inside of her lip, unable to trust herself to make a verbal response to his call.

“Let’s get this over with, I’ll do the dirty work. You need to talk to Mooney.” Han’s voice sounded disappointed as they made their way back inside of the bar.

The body still lay there in position, shirt stained with the crimson as an older man lay over the body, shaking violently as he sobbed. The pain in her heart was excruciating as she watched, her eyes falling to Han as he kneeled next to the body and attempted to remove a crying father from his deceased son; a sight that she knew she would never be able to unsee. It felt like déjà vu, something that had happened before, but this time it was different. The memory bringing a tear to her eye and letting it fall down her supple cheek, her hand quickly wiping it away as she composed herself the best she could.

“Sal,” Her shaky voice whispered, her body moving along the floor before she kneeled next to the crying bar owner, knowing she had to play her part in this process. But this time not for the sake of the gang, this time for the sake of the grieving father, “You need to let him go, come on…”

The yell of the man by her side would never leave her, the outcry full of pain and desperation as the call out of his son’s name echoed in her ears for what she felt like forever. How was she supposed to just brush this off?

It was as if things finally began to make sense. Every sense of emotion she had been learnt to feel again since that night overwhelmed her. Her ignorance she had played on so often was non-existent as she felt nothing but sorrow, sympathy and pain for the boy who had died that night. She couldn’t help but feel as though she had a purpose, the urge of justice now coursing through her body as she held the crying man in her arms and tried to comfort him, offering him a shoulder to cry on as Han lifted the limp body and removed it from the bar.

Jay had been out of control for too long. The years of destruction and rage he endorsed on the city of New York were now breaking barriers and were impacting the gang in the complete opposite way of how they thought. It was going bad, really bad. Han’s reminder of how the city would come after Jay as a consequence played on Eloise’s mind, but she knew she couldn’t wait for that. She couldn’t play along with the Gypsy Kings’ game until that day came. She had sat back for too long and allowed for the people around her to decide her fate, to control what she did and how she lived her life to some degree.

It was about time she changed that. It was about time she took control and did something right.

Of course, she knew the consequences of her actions, knowing that if she followed through then it would mean everything she knew would be gone. She would be betraying her family, betraying her best friend, and betraying herself.

And she was more than willing to accept that. She couldn’t stand in the shadows any longer. It was time to change. It was time to end it all. It was time to make her real family proud.

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Tag List: @steviemae @elsysoza

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