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#well that's all i got for the amount of time i want to spend on this ask
eupheme · 3 days
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Your best friend Wade who always jokingly flirts with you the way he flirts with everyone - and you hate it because you have a real genuine crush on him and the flirting doesn’t mean anything… does it? It has to take a mutual friend to be like “oh my god he’s in love with you and doesn’t know how to tell you, so that’s why he’s always joking about boners” (please and thank u ilu 😌)
omg avo this kicked my ass, the amount of pining for Wade as he (jokingly, you think) flirts with you would be off the charts 🥲💖 I wrote a little drabble with how that might go, I love you and your ideas - thanks so much for sending this to me!!!
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— cause every time we touch (i get this feeling)
best friend!wade wilson x mutant!reader
<1k | flirting, dirty jokes, heaps of pining
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Blow job. Leg Spreader. Slippery Nipple. Liquid Viagra. Sex on the Pool Table. Pink Silk Panties.
Each time Wade comes into Sister Margaret’s - which is four or five times a week - he asks for dirtier and more obscure drinks.
"Wishful thinking", he tells you, each time.
Even with the roll of your eyes, you have to admit that it keeps you on your toes. That you look forward to seeing your best friend so often - tamping down the jolt in your belly, night after night.
Reminding yourself that yes, he got you this job, but he's not here to see you.
That this always was his spot.
It had been an easy sell. Used to working overnight shifts - security, back then. After the disaster with Weasel, they had been desperate for a replacement. Wade had come to you immediately, dropping to his knees as you opened the door.
Winning you over with a "you could literally get paid to hang out with me. How is this not a win-win-win? How is this not your dream job?"
And here, you didn't have to hide what or who you were. Reading feelings and intent were a bonus, when a handshake could tell you everything you needed to know. Their feelings spilled as easily as they were written, when you were negotiating contracts.
It also helped in-house. A human lie detector. Able to break up fights, settle arguments. A party trick, when things got slow. The regulars trying to get things past you - tales based in truth spun tall, seeing when you'd catch them.
Wade never plays, but you think that's because you know him so well.
And what seems like a sell, quickly evolves into more. Warping, as days pass. Spending more time with a crush sounds tempting, on paper.
The reality is something else.
Yes, there is a seat saved for him at the bar. Literally saved - his name scrawled across the vinyl, and you still haven't been able to scrub it out. Stopping by at all hours to chit chat.
Teasing you - how he's "so glad he doesn't have to stalk you at your old job anymore". An over-the-top sigh about being relieved that you're safe now - in your new job, surrounded by mercs.
Begging for the best job. Puppy-dog eyes. Fake coupons for favors that would make a sinner blush. Crossing his heart that you could have anything, and he means anything you wanted, if he could only get "that thing involving the murder clowns".
It's enough to make you hope.
Later, at home - in the early hours as you're pulled under. Replaying his comments. The filthy jokes and the shameless flirting - wondering if that's all they were.
Wondering if he'd be waiting for you tomorrow, perched on his stool.
But there's the downfall.
You see him - but you also see him with everyone else.
The charming smiles. Head thrown back in a laugh as he works the room. A friend to all, and as you watch him - perched on the knee of a goddess of mercenary as he yaps away, you can't help the swift current of jealousy.
Of foolishness.
It's enough that you're almost regretting agreeing.
Your mood is sullen, as you wipe down glasses. Trying to ignore the ache when you see him flirt. That realization that the something special you thought he had with you, might just be a part of his personality.
And when Dopinder shuffles from the back with more ice for the chiller behind the bar, it only takes one look at you before he's sighing.
"Not again. Please, I am begging you. I cannot take more of your yearning.”
Your lips quirk. Hadn't realized you'd become that obvious. He'd become your go-to, in the long hours you spend together behind the bar. Pinkie-promising not to say a word - but you always thought you'd had a decent handle on your expressions.
"We don't have to talk about it." Your hands raise, placating, "Just let me yearn in peace. I'll get over it."
"You know that almost half of what DP makes a month is funneled back in here, right?" He gives you a long look, "Before you, I saw him once a week. I had to beg him to come get his paycheck."
Doubt still lingers.
"Doesn't mean anything," You shrug - eyes dropping, as you help him restock.
"You do not think Mr. Pool worships the ground you walk on?"
The intensity of his question has you side-eying him, "I mean... I don't think he sees me that way. He acts the same with me as he does with everyone."
“Sure.” He huffs, leaning against the bartop, just as Wade plunks down in the seat in front of you.
“God, I haven’t been over here in like-,” Wade checks a fake watch, “Fifteen minutes? Feels like longer. Felt like a fucking hour.”
Pivoting back and forth on the stool as he adds, “Is it possible for people to get separation anxiety? Or is that just dogs? Is this how Dogpool feels when I’m gone?”
You just manage to catch the last bit, as Dopinder slips away.
“Exactly the same.”
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Tonight, Wade is the first person that sits down in front of you for the game.
A frown, as you peel off your gloves - your barrier, to the outside world.
His own already bare - sliding back-and-forth over his suit-clad thighs. You'd mistake it for nerves, if you weren't so sure Wade had never been nervous in his life.
"What's your story, Wilson?" You ask, "Hope you brought something good."
"Oh, it's a whopper. A real fucking doozy. Apparently, you're not gonna believe it. " His laugh is a little too loud, and your eyes narrow, "But let's give it a whirl, okay?"
There's a flicker, behind the bar. A sideways look towards the bar, where Dopinder's hands cover his face. You don't need to touch him to read the guilt written across his features - the way he almost flinches, under your glare.
You're going to fucking kill him.
The sound of your name brings you back.
“Ready to play?”
Wade's hands rest face-up on the table - an offering. For once in his life he almost looks serious, and it’s enough to bring you back.
A breath - before you align your own. Letting them drop down, skin mapping against skin for the first time.
It floods through you.
The lick of heat that almost feels like a caress. A deep yearn that causes your own heart to twinge, layering with the feeling of need. Desire. Want.
It's familiar. It mirrors something deep inside, something that’s become as much a part of you as flesh and bone.
Oh.
A laugh slips from you, breaking the beat of silence. Relief tinged with disbelief - your smile stretching wide.
“Yeah?” You breathe, softening.
“Yeah.” He laughs, “Thought I was being obvious. But you are pound-cake dense, apparently.”
Hands flipping over, to entwine between yours. Letting that feeling inside him linger, settling warm and comforting over your bare skin.
“But I like that about you.” Another huff of a laugh, “Like all of you, really. Always have.”
It makes your heart ache. In a way that finally feels full, feels right - instead of the near-agony you’ve been bearing for weeks.
Only you could be such an idiot.
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thanks for reading! 💖
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Love on Ice Chapter 7: The Bakery
Thank y’all for all the support on this fic ❤️ Please check out my masterlist for prior chapters and artwork!
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39 Days before Competition
“Now, I’m no expert, but do skating practices typically end with almost fucking your partner on the ice?” 
The plate of raspberry tarts almost slipped out of Elain’s grasp. She recovered, thankfully, placing them inside the display case before shooting Nuala an incredulous look. “What?” 
From the other side of the bakery, Cerridwen chuckled softly, shaking her head at her twin sister’s antics as she filled the shelves with fresh bread loaves. 
It’s been two years since Elain set foot in Sweet Sensations Bakery after noticing the Help Wanted sign on the window. It was a bold move on her part. Not only had she been discouraged from working when Mama was alive, every shift deprived Elain of precious ice time she could’ve used to rehearse a routine.
But Mama had passed away and Elain thought she should at least figure out how to support herself in the event she never stood atop the podium, even if Mama would be disappointed in the decision to work at a place she viewed as ‘lesser’. Disheartened to know she was working at all. 
That’s all it was, though. A way to accumulate income. Wake up, clock in, do your job, clock out. It wasn’t much different than skating. She was professional and efficient, keeping the twins at arm’s length. A job she could manage–maybe–but friendships were off the table. No matter how persistent Nuala and Cerridwen were. She’d already declined the invitation to their 30th birthday celebration two times. 
“Well, with the way you just described the last week of practices, color me shocked that none of them ended with your clothes off,” Nuala said, restocking the peanut butter brownies in the display with a shrug. “I haven’t found a kinder way to say it, but you will be a fool if you do not let that man take you to bed and–.” 
Elain gaped, half shocked she didn’t end up giving herself whiplash from the speed she turned her neck. The older twin was the more brazen of the two. Elain still hadn’t got used to it, even living with Nesta all those years. “Nuala!” 
She licked peanut butter from her fingers, poorly suppressing a dimpled grin. 
“He is quite handsome, isn’t he?” Cerridwen muttered to no one in particular. While Nuala was shameless, Cerridwen was more reserved. She mostly spoke only when spoken to. Elain supposed this conversation was the exception. 
“That is…horribly inappropriate,” Elain scolded, emerging from the kitchen with a small fudge cake. And also entirely too close to what would be considered friendship talk. “Us having chemistry is important. It means our performances will be more emotional and believable.” 
It was incredible what they had been able to accomplish in a little more than a week of practices. They were tough and long and she walked away sweating half the time, but she never felt mentally exhausted by the end. She took them seriously, but also allowed herself to giggle at all of Azriel’s terrible jokes and weird dance moves. Sometimes she joined him, and impromptu dance breakouts were slowly becoming a crucial part of their practices. That, and documenting their skating journey with photos and videos in her phone’s camera roll. 
Their chemistry was most impressive and had only grown stronger in a minimal amount of time. She wouldn’t say friendship, not yet, but it was slowly starting to feel that way. Azriel shamelessly shared some of his most embarrassing teenage memories, and Elain offered a few happy ones from her childhood back in the Village. Azriel insisted on spending time together outside of the rink, and she normally shut him down. Her compromise, however, was that they could exchange numbers and message each other throughout the week. He’d taken full advantage of the opportunity, always making sure to send her a message before bed and a kind greeting when she woke up. More than once, she caught herself smiling at her phone. 
Everything was natural. Nothing was forced or fake or awkward. Having him in her life was refreshing. He wasn’t afraid to grip her hips or hold her in his arms or playfully pinch her cheeks. And she wasn’t as hesitant to clutch his shoulders or stroke his face or jokingly bump her hip against his. The past few days were proof enough that their chemistry was alive and burning. And also strictly professional. At least, that's what she was still telling herself. 
“You’re saying if the opportunity presented itself to you, you’d decline?” Nuala scoffed, but it was easily wiped off her face when she noticed how quiet Elain had become. How rosy her cheeks were. How her eyes looked everywhere and nowhere. It clicked. “Oh shoot. You haven’t slept with anyone, have you?” 
Elain rolled her eyes, occupying herself with counting the money in the register. “Would you like to scream that to the entirety of Prythian, while we’re at it?” A long pause, followed by a dispirited sigh. “No, I haven’t. I didn’t exactly have boys lining up to date me, not when Mama scared them away. Not to mention, practice kept me busy. It still does. Sex is the least of my concerns.” But damn, wouldn’t she like to experience it just once. To give herself to someone she trusted. To let someone make her feel good. To make someone else feel good…
“Speaking of sex…” Cerridwen whispered, and not even a second later the bell over the door dinged, signaling the first customer of the day. Elain glanced up from the register, hands gripping the wad of cash. 
“Azriel,” She breathed, kicking Nuala’s ankle when her shoulders shook with laughter. The older twin made herself useful by checking on the batch of blueberry muffins currently in the oven. “Hi.” 
“Hi,” he greeted, flashing her a smile before dipping his head toward Cerridwen. 
“Where are you headed this morning?” Easy and light. Not too eager or curious. 
“A friendly scrimmage game against the Adriata Rays,” he explained, readjusting the backward cap on his head. Waves of black hair curled over his ears and down the back of his neck. 
“Why are you playing a scrimmage in the middle of the playoffs?” Elain snickered, sliding the bills into their allocated slots in the register. 
“You can never play too much hockey,” He cleared his throat, asking, “Ever been to a playoff game before?” She shook her head. “I have not, but–.” 
“If you ask me, I think she’d love to go to one sometime,” Nuala chirped, emerging from the kitchen with warm, toasted muffins. Her brown eyes sparkled wickedly. 
“Well, no one did ask you, Nuala,” Elain huffed, turning her attention back to Azriel. His grin stretched wider, amused by the exchange. “But no, I've never been to one. Skating prevents me from doing anything else.” “Maybe it shouldn't,” Azriel suggested lowly, knuckle rapping against the glass display. “The best seats are right up on the boards, and the energy in the building is unlike anything you’ll experience. You might even get lucky and see Cassian fuck someone up in a fight.”
Elain chuckled, fingers delicately brushing over the keys on the register. “Tempting, although he really can’t afford to lose any more teeth.” 
“Or I could flip you a puck,” Another attempt at convincing. “I’ll even sign it for you,” He winked playfully. 
She rolled her eyes, not fighting against the upward tilt of her mouth. “I will…consider it for the future. I make no promises, though.” 
“Good luck,” Nuala snorted, biting into an extra muffin. “She won’t even attend our birthday celebration at Rita’s.”
Elain huffed. “I will consider attending that, too.” 
The twins’ eyes sparkled in delight. 
Azriel’s efforts had hit a brick wall, it seemed. Another time, he’d try again. “What’s your favorite thing here?” He asked curiously, one arm leaned casually against the display. It took every ounce of willpower for her eyes to remain politely on his face and not track the swirling ink on his arms and neck. 
His neck. 
She blinked, eyes the size of saucers at the discolored bruise. It wasn’t too large, but big enough for her to spot it without really trying. A hickey. There was a damn hickey proudly displayed on his tanned skin. 
Elain’s mind spiraled before she could stop it. Did he have a girlfriend? That would have been imperative to know, lest she be uncomfortable with their proximity on the ice. She didn’t want to appear disrespectful by intimately touching another woman's man. 
Or maybe it was a fling, someone he’d met at a bar and taken home for a drunken fuck.
Elain didn’t know which scenario was worse. 
Or why her teeth ground together.
Or why her skin felt hot. 
Or why she even cared. 
Realizing he was still waiting for an answer, she choked out, “Raspberry tarts for breakfast, oatmeal cookies when I’m upset, and strawberry shortcake for a late night treat.” 
She mentally slapped herself at the unnecessary word vomit. What the fuck, Elain? Luckily, he didn’t appear phased, head dipping toward the treats.
“Then I’ll take a tart. Oh, and two slices of fudge cake for Rhys and Cassian, even though it’s nine in the morning. I don't feel like hearing them run their mouths for not bringing them anything.” With a curt nod, she packaged away a fresh tart and generous pieces of cake, sliding it toward him. Up close, Azriel beamed at the sweets. “These look incredible, Elain.”
“I dabbled in a few recipes when I was young before I really started to take skating seriously,” she shrugged off the compliment, ringing up the order. “Croissants, breads, cakes, you name it. I sometimes made dinner for my family too, though Mama wasn’t thrilled about it. My beef stew was a hit and Nesta always liked when I cooked–.” 
She caught herself, shaking the rest of the thought from her brain. Why in the world would he even care about this stuff? He didn’t need to hear more of her life story. 
Azriel frowned, urging her to continue, but the bakery door had opened five more times since his arrival and she couldn’t hold up the new customers. 
“Well, I hope you gentlemen enjoy the treats,” Elain said, handing him his change. Her eyes fell to the chocolate frosting on his finger that had transferred from the cake container. 
“Oops, sorry,” Elain gestured to the frosting. “Before you go, let me grab you a napkin.” 
He didn’t need a napkin–apparently–because his tongue did the job quite well. In one fluid motion, Azriel sucked the chocolate off his finger, holding her gaze as he did so. 
Cerridwen gawked. 
Nuala whistled lowly. 
And with the way his soft, satisfied moan shot straight to her core, Elain knew she was in so much trouble. 
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ARTWORK FOR THE CHAPTER BY @chachachai17: Here
DIVIDER BY: @saradika-graphics
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opens-up-4-nobody · 11 months
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...
#aaaand thats a 3rd doctor. a psychiatrist. who listened to me ans thought: mm sounds like bip0lar lol#me: wow its so easy to get diagnosed as bip0lar. thats bc u r exhibiting lots of depression and a limit amount of mood elevation. that's#like. thats what bip0lar is. she was like yea ppl with bip0lar 2 spend like 75% of time being depressed and a lil elevated mood... which#sounds like what u r describing. me:#...yeah. but again its complicated by the 0cd and spectrum issues. but she independently brought up 4dhd. just when i was like no its all#0cd. here we r again. stuck back in the messy overlap. but whatever i got proscribed bip0lar medicine. lam1ctal. we'll see#bc everyone i talk to is like. we need to control the mood 1st. like so u dont die. and im like hm yeah good call lol#she seems super cool tho. like i would love to just talk to her. ugh. she wants to get a handle on the mood and then maybe add a stimulant#bc shes had it happen in thr past where someone comes in with debiltating 0cd and got treated with lam1ctol and a stimulant and the#obsessive rumination stopped. so well see. idk if ill actually qualify as 4dhd enough. well see. fingers crossed#my mood is a lil elevated rn so its all fun. well see if we tip off a cliff bc im getting less sleep and go go going#unrelated#ugh im scared to start the medine tho bc the ssri i got proscribed fucked me up so much. which is also an indicator of bip0lar#god dammit. if this works im gonna have to actually accept the idea of being bip0lar. i mean. it makes sense being on that spectrum#is just sounds insane and i was not expecting it despite my fucking obsession with understanding wtf my deal is#idk. whatever. doesnt matter
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confused-spood · 1 month
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Where else am I gonna rant if not to a group of random strangers that barely know me, right? So ofc I'm gonna rant here cuz these people have no idea who tf I am.
....turns out I have no words to explain how I'm feeling right now so I offer this emoji instead: 😔
#so i went to this 18th birthday aka debut of my friend and tbh its the first debut ive ever been to and i was rly looking forward to it#plan was to enjoy with my friends and all and i was also planning to get some ideas for my own debut whoch is two weeks after hers#tbh my debut is the bday that ive been looking forward to for basically my whole life cuz the other important ages i did absolutely nothing#for my first bday i was literally in the hospital so nothing there. in my seventh bday i cant even remember what happened. we went swimming?#so the 18th is what i always dreamt of. ive already told my moms this a couple hundred times and ive already thought out how i want it to go#then at the party i observed everything and i realized a lot of things. firstly that shit is expensive. while we used to have the money#no we dont and thats all just in the past now. second thing which i find the most disturbing is the amount of people#the debutante invites the special people in their life and while yes i do have those i dont think they can even reach the proper number#and also i rly cant see myself in that position yknow? being the center of atteaction with people telling you nice stuff abt how they like u#so thats made me quite sad that the bday ive always wanted is never gonna be mine. my biggest TOTGA...#at this point i just wanna spend my whole 18th wallowing in self pity and sadness. while i know my friends love me i dont rly think they#love me to the point of throwing me a lil party of our own like we did earlier this year to ine of our friends. im the spare friend i guess#and plus when i got home my paretns arent even talking to me or looking my way if not scolding me or getting mad at me#well IM SORRY i also didnt want to get stuck in the fckin road for A WHOLE HOUR while waiting for a ride home#and IM SORRY that im just wearing jeans to a debut. this is my frist fucking time going to a debut so how tf would i know???#plus a lot of people were just wearing casual so wtf 😒#all in all im sad and i want to go die
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puppybearuniverse · 9 months
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thinking about the tragedy that is never truly getting to be close with my family. i feel guilty about it sometimes. but then i remember how hard I've tried, my entire life, to connect. and i remember the things they did to me in return. and i remember that it's okay not to have a relationship with them.
#especially my sister. we were so close when she was younger.#then she fell down the alt right pipeline#then she got better! and we got along really well!#and now she lies and schemes and manipulates like it's her job. almost everyone i know fell victim to her wake in some way#and it sucks you know? because i feel like i knew her heart. but one day she just changed.#trying to kill me for having a friend over while she was at work was my last straw.#i spent years and months begging her to spend any amount of time with me. and when she entered her manipulate era i tried to distance#but i still felt so much love for her. i still felt the need to have some connection.#and then came november. after a month of me being gone - one of the first things she did was try to kill me.#because i had a friend over. while she was at work.#now i feel a dislike for her like i would anyone who acted so horribly.#i feel disgusted when she talks to our mother all sweet like she doesnt lie to her every day.#growing up she was the favourite and anyone can tell.#as an adult she uses that as best she can.#she's been watching total drama lately. i can hear it from her room. it used to be my favourite show when we were young.#i wonder if she remembers. i wonder if she cares.#it's so strange to feel the way i feel about all of this.#i want her to mourn our relationship the same way i do. i want her to remember that i tried and she had every chance to reciprocate.#i don't know. it's all so complicated. and sometimes it still hurts.#wiggle
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bunnyb34r · 9 months
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Well glad to know I'm not the only one not feeling the Christmas season this year. Mom isnt either
Now we dont know why, but here are my guesses. Feel free to place your bets.
Is it:
Bc our aunt/great-aunt died and essentially dissolved the family
|_> Bc of this we've faced so much bullshit from the surviving family we have left.
Bc the only remaining family we have are major assholes aside from like 4 people.
Long covid?
Work stress/ working under a tyrant piece of shit.
Bc I'm an adult now so the *magic* is gone?
All of the above??
#marquilla#we still havent made cookies and are like i want the cookies but i dont want to make the cookies...#so we agreed we can do it after christmas if need be#i really think it's all of that combined. like my g-aunt dying really tore this family apart. we weren't like close close before but i mean#everyone started taking sides (the executors (my mom) vs my cousins. like listen you motherfuckers she left you [insert number bc i also#got this amount and am not disclosing]. you little freaks need to get over the fact that she loved me as much as if not more than you.#maybe bc i wasn't a fucking entitled brat and was always a polite well behaved child (for her) and didnt take my mommy/daddy issues out on#her. you already got: 2 free cars. 3 fully paid for weddings. 4 college degrees (one that you're not even using bc you havent worked since#college bc you became a tradwife. (not dissing stay at home moms im dissing her making college a BIG DEAL for her and then just#essentially saying haha thanks for the 100k in tuition but no ❤). COUNTLESS hours and money poured#into your lives from her and our g-uncle. amongst the 4 of you. (only 1 is not a brat but thats bc they pretend she doesnt exist bc shes#annoying and autistic so a drain on them they were ever so happy to dump on their dad)#you aren't entitled to any of that. that was a GIFT. your inheritance was well thought out. it is an insult for you to suggest otherwise#anyway so theyre being whiny brats and oh boo hoo you exects are SO MEAN to poor Ally who didnt sign the fucking will and thus held up#$50k FROM A CHURCH. and my uncle (not their dad. their moms brother) is taking their side. his wife is a massive piece of shit ab it too.#dont know whose side dog cousin is on bc shes close to my mom but very close to them. and i know lesbian cousin is on moms side to some#degree. and idgaf what Murderer cousin thinks bc that bitch can and will rot in hell.#so anyway any one we could possibly spend time with this season is either dead or hates us. or lives states away and won't be in til after#and only for a day anyway. and we just dont have the fucking energy to deal with anything
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sysig · 1 year
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You cannot hide your T:RC music from me PMMM
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hella1975 · 2 years
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realised i havent complained about my job in a while despite working a shit ton lately including holidays (10 hours xmas eve + 7 hours boxing day + 10 hours new year's eve 🤡) so here's some quickfire BOLLOCKS ive had to deal with:
the kp (19F) and supervisor (33F) almost got in a punch up LMAO
my manager decided to have a complete breakdown on nye and took it out on literally everyone. like he overbooked past our capacity and instead of being normal and just cancelling some people even if it meant losing money this man instead started pulling tables out of his arse and creating new seating areas (anyone who's worked in hopitality knows you Cant Just Do That least of all DURING the busiest night of the year). naturally we had a shit ton of customers complaing about being too squidged together and who got to deal with it? THE FLOOR STAFF i hate everything
same manager same night kept snapping at all of us im still furious about this okay basically i was working a 10 hour shift and at 6pm there's a shift change, so we all tend to move sections and when you've been working the same (shit) section for 6 hours this is a GODSEND. so i got moved from my least favourite section to my favourite section and there's always a bit of a scramble around the shift change bc we're all picking up where someone else left off so it's where MOST of the mistakes happen. this happens daily to every single waitress no matter how experienced. and do you know what i had the nerve to do? i forgot to give this one couple their menus. literally they had not sat for even 5 minutes and were waiting on drinks anyway and my manager STORMS over like 'why havent window 1 got menus' and i immediately was on it like 'oh shit sorry ive just taken their drinks order ill bring them now'. this utter CUNT walked off bc he cant handle actual confronation and the next thing i know one of the supervisors comes over like 'we need you running food so me and you are gonna swap'. and im here like 'okay. weird. i hate running food so this is less than ideal but i cant argue'. i find out from the other supervisor (bc waitresses are GOSSIPS i was always going to find out) that my manager apparently swanned down to them like '[redacted] cant handle her section i need one of you to take over she's in another world' HELLO???????? count ur fucking days
did u know the holiday period actually makes customers ruder. did u know that. did u know the season of joy and giving ends the moment u step into a pub. because i know that now
there should be a law that ur not allowed to flirt with someone who's working. like maybe an exception if they start it first and you just reciprocate but aside that if they're on the clock in a job where customer service demands they be nice to you then DONT FUCKING FLIRT WITH THEM my god i could kill you. one man literally tried to set me up with his son when i was trying to just take a drinks order and that was one of the TAME examples
the bar staff kept clocking off before me and purposely sitting on tables closest to my screen to drink just so they could brag. psychological warfare im telling you
#i did get astronomically bladdered nye though#like TOO drunk im not proud of it#genuinely blackout for the last TWO HOURS of the night do u know how scary that is#but the beginning of the night was so fun i clocked off at 10 after that SHITSHOW of a shift#like a load of us clocked off at ten leaving it superrr understaffed and i literally said to the guys closing#'normally id stay on but tonight you could not pay me enough money in the world to stay even another minute' LMAO#i wanted OUT#BUT! a couple of us got dressed into out-out clothes in the toilets and got some drinks#and it's supposed to be one free drink per staff member but i got a rum and coke AND a cocktail AND a baby guiness#but the rum was 75% and i think that's where i went wrong like we were all at a table having a laugh#and i remember thinking at not even 11pm yet 'ive drunk too much too quickly i should slow down'#and instead we went to spoons and did tequila. what is wrong with me. STUPID bitch#like i was out until almost 4am and the last solid memory i have? doing the fucking countdown#that is a horrific amount of blackout even for someone prone to it like i am#every time i think about it i feel queasy#like after spoons i went to three other bars/pubs and i dont remember ANY of them#i literally dont even remember spending any time with my hometown friends (bc they were the ones i was supposed to go out with)#and idk how to tell them bc that's so fucking rude like i GENUINELY might as well have not met up with them for all i remember of it#UGHHHHHHHH#but i had fun with my work mates and that's more important to me than my hometown ones lmao they kinda suck <3#hella slaves to capitalism
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what-even-is-thiss · 2 months
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The reason people don’t want to work is that it’s just normal for them to be in bad work environments.
My issue with working at Walmart wasn’t the work itself I was doing. It was the circumstances around it. The concrete floor, lack of places to sit, having to put up with asshole customers, not getting time off for injuries, and bad pay.
If I had been given shock pads to stand on or a few chairs to rest on sometimes, if they paid me a livable amount of money and I was allowed to yell back at asshole customers, if they had given me any amount of training, I would happily work part time folding clothes all day and telling people where the swimsuit section is.
I’m a creative type. I’m a writer. I’m pretty smart, even. But if I could make a living folding shirts and listening to podcasts in one ear and helping people find the scented candles for 30 hours a week? I would. Leaves some mental space free for me to brainstorm. Lets me catch up on my reading with audiobooks.
But instead I was treated so badly by upper management and customers that I’m like legitimately a little frightened whenever I step into a Walmart now. And I only worked there for three months a few years ago.
I’m a good lower level worker. When I’m treated well. I like finishing tasks. I like being helpful. I like having some time to talk to coworkers and some time alone with my thoughts. I’m a frickin team player. And that’s how I was at my first job. I was treated well by my supervisor. I was trained. They were patient with me. I was so good at being low on the totem pole at that job because I was valued and felt like I was being listened to. I was able to sit still when there was nothing left to do which made it feel less bad when we were on a time crunch. I didn’t mind working hard at that job because it was fun even though I was doing all the low level stuff that the supervisors didn’t want do.
But at Walmart I was like that for all of two days. Then I figured out that nobody appreciated my work and if I worked in my normal people pleasing manner I’d kill myself because their standards were high and the rewards for meeting them were low.
So I slowed down. I started avoiding customers. I started taking a lot longer to get to my breaks and to come back from them. I became worse at my job because no matter how good I was at it there would be no reward, no appreciation, and I’d just be pushed further beyond my limits.
My only level of happiness from that job came from the people who were working with me. The old ladies and my department manager who made sure I wasn’t overextending myself. The one other young man working in the clothing department who always got sent with me to unload the heavy stuff and commiserated with me about the shoulder injuries, the hurting feet we were too young to have.
But none of that was enough to make me stay. We were constantly understaffed. I was constantly abused by customers and not able to do a thing about it. I was not paid much at all. So as soon as I had enough saved up for what I was trying to do and my last semester of college was about to start I handed in my two weeks.
I would have found a way to stay if I liked that job. If I liked that job I would’ve pushed myself to my mental limits to finish college and keep that job at the same time. Heck that job could’ve been a rest from college. A place to get away from it. But I hate that job so I got out as soon as I could.
I want to work. I want enough money to live sort of comfortably. I want to have some tasks to do to give my creativity a rest. I want to be a part of something. But the way that modern corporate run work environments are set up does not give me any of the things I actually want out of a job. And I think that’s the same for millions of people right now. A lot of people would happily spend their lives as a waitress or an Uber driver or a warehouse worker or a farmhand or any other “low skill” job you can possibly think of. But with the way the world works right now those jobs are absolutely miserable. It doesn’t have to be that way. I know because I’ve had a fulfilling part time minimum wage job that I looked forward to going to every week. A job where I was listened to and allowed to sit when I needed to. I miss that job. Especially now since I’ve realized that’s not the standard. It should be. People should look forward to going to work or at the very least not get mild ptsd whenever they set foot into a Walmart.
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quilleth · 4 months
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Trying to get pictures of the Boys (hualian bjds) outside by some pretty flowers was a fail and has cemented in my brain that I am never getting dolls taller than like 65cm ever again. IDK how people get nice pictures of their dolls outside without completely bungling things. Like...this was just in my yard and it still was a disaster lmao
Guess they're just doomed to live in the cabinet forever
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What are some tell tale signs you're dealing with a middle class white person? Besides the perfect whtie teeth and Hydroflask
this is such a weirdly random ask but okay. uhh. it depends on the age group of people and i don't know how to describe it exactly but it's how they talk. i'm mostly referring to more upper-middle class white people in this but it's all about respectability politics and shit like that. using big words showing off the fact that they're educated and often looking down on people who don't talk or sound like them. younger people not quite as much with this but yeah, middle aged middle class white people are easy to spot. they want everyone to know how educated and intelligent they are so they make sure to talk and sound super important and informed and confident in how they speak. it's also what they talk about, and how they talk about certain issues and certain groups of people. idk i really can't describe it that well. like, they don't bring up issues of racial or social justice and whenever these kinds of topics do come up, they'll make sure to center themselves, their feelings, and their opinions. like 'sure black lives matter is important of course, and police brutality is bad, but defunding the police would make me unsafe. what if someone tried to rob me and I the police aren't able to respond because we got rid of them" shit like that.
also it's a lot of how they carry themselves. they're used to a world that is comfortable for them, where they are valued and are able to have some degree of influence over it and they act like it. and they prioritize their own comfort and security over the well-being of many others.
i guess for me, "middle class white people" is more a vibe based on attitude, values, and actions than it is a description of how not impoverished someone is. like, you can have "middle class" not low-income white people who are actively fighting for social justice issues and decentering themselves and actively trying to unlearn societal racism, classism, colonialism, and other implicit biases that society ingrains in everyone, and they don't necessarily give off "white (upper) middle class" vibes
idk if this is what you were looking for anon but that's all i got
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jemamore · 5 months
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#came off my ssri 2 months ago now and man the consequences of my actions still coming for me#i came off them more because it was like well im in a better place to manage myself now haha how time changes#and mostly bc them being tied in my prescription for adhd meds it was impossible to even get citalopram bc my script would get rejected#and i kept running out and having to ration my citalopram so its like fuck it just come off it then#all i wanted was to have emotions back and ever since all I’ve felt is the wide range of misery#i wanted joy and laughter and imagination back and all I’ve got is physical anxiety and misery#it doesnt help that I’ve just had an absolute fuck of a time with work#left my og job for a more specific job that could work for OT or Art psychotherapy but had to leave after a month#then i spent just shy of 3 months on unemployment doing my best to keep my head above water fighting benefits system#all to be in another assistant job feeling like an absolute idiot day to day the team is a huge clique and i don’t know whats going on#i spend all my off time sitting in dread about going back to work#and the worst part is i cant even just go back on citalopram because i cannot put on anymore weight#im bigger than a whale im bigger than a house im so fucking huge I’ve never been this huge and its so hard to lose weight#im in such a miserable headspace all i wanted was to just feel my happiness not being stunted anymore#and i don’t know the last time i felt a sustained amount of joy
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sunderwight · 2 months
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Modern AU where Shen Yuan accidentally sugar-daddies everyone.
So for the purposes of this, Shen Yuan's family is basically $10 Bananas levels of cluelessly rich. Shen Yuan has almost never had to look at the prices of anything he wants. He and his siblings all get an allowance from the family's main account, which increases when they reach adulthood, and in the interest of fairness his parents made it all the same size. So Shen Yuan gets the same amount of money for his daily living expenses as his older brothers with their penthouse apartments and vacation homes and private jets, at least from the family account (since he doesn't work, he doesn't actually make as much as them in total because they earn more on top of their allowances).
And the thing is, Shen Yuan genuinely just lives a lot more humbly. He likes people but what would he do with a vacation house? Anything really nice would probably require him to fly to get out there, and he gets sick as hell on planes. Living in the central city is also not great for him, because the air pollution is so bad. Having a whole house to himself would also be ridiculous. So he has a reasonable apartment, in a reasonable area, and he splurges every so often on purchases that make him happy and take-out food that he likes, and of course he pays a cleaning service to come in twice a week. Most people assume he's comfortably middle class and has some tech job he does from home, but he's been getting a lot more than he's been spending in his monthly allowances for years now, and the figures are big.
Enter into this environment author Airplane and his trash novels. Novels, multiple, because in this AU there's no PIDW, and instead after some alternate PIDW prototype got popular in the harem genre, Airplane decided to churn out a series of copy-paste shorter stories rather than recycling the same subplots in one massively long epic.
Shen Yuan of course discovers Airplane's writing and becomes as obsessed with it as ever, except this time he notices that if there are delays between new stories, they seem to clear up faster whenever he throws some cash at the problem. And also that the drops in Airplane's writing quality coincide with times when Shen Yuan was having health issues and not keeping up with his VIP purchases. So, he works out that Airplane's probably doing the writing for the money, and that when Peerless Cucumber isn't paying the most for it, Airplane starts listening to the other buffoons in the comment section more to try and entice them to pay his bills instead.
Peerless Cucumber leaves a comment on one of Airplane's latest stories that kicks off the two of them actually chatting, and Shen Yuan eventually gets to the point of offering to fund all Airplane's writing, in exchange for Airplane not doing his crap sellout stuff to appeal to other readers anymore. Airplane thinks he's joking or maybe mocking him. Shen Yuan asks how much it would cost. Airplane fires off a ridiculous number. Shen Yuan doesn't even blink and wires him the first payment. Then he gets annoyed because Airplane leaves him on read for a while, but that's because Airplane is staring at his account balance in shock.
Of course, it's Airplane who starts referring to Peerless Cucumber as his sugar daddy. Shen Yuan is just like "based on your sex scenes I don't think anyone would pay you for that" and Airplane's all "but you WOULD pay for my sex scenes ^_~" and Shen Yuan's like "technically I am actually paying you not to write that shit" and so on. Usual banter. The quality of Airplane's writing improves dramatically, a lot of his readership drops off but he does get new readers and gradually builds up an even bigger fanbase than before, and so on, it all goes pretty well. He eventually writes a few things that take off to the point of getting physical publications and international translations. Technically Airplane no longer needs Shen Yuan to pay all of his bills by that point but he's not going to tell Shen Yuan that! The contract's still good as long as he keeps writing!
Then one of Airplane's online acquaintances runs into some financial trouble and asks for help.
Liu Mingyan used to beta read for Airplane back when he wrote fanfiction (she was like thirteen, Airplane was unaware because internet and hey free beta), and it seems her family has hit a rough patch. She wants tips on how to go pro, but Airplane explains that it was extremely difficult and he mostly lucked out by finding a single wealthy backer. Mingyan wonders if the same guy would be interested in her writing, Airplane sadly thinks not because Mingyan exclusively writes kinky danmei erotica and Peerless Cucumber seems pretty firmly in the closet still and also generally prefers plotty and world-building heavy stuff.
But like, Airplane has definitely gotten a vibe off of Cucumber-bro, and Mingyan's gorgeous older brother does video streams of himself doing cool martial arts and swordsmanship stuff. So he asks her permission and when she gives it, he recommends Liu Qingge's videos to Shen Yuan, being sure to mention that the guy in question can't really afford to keep up with his hobbies and oh what a shame it would be if he had to stop making art like that.
Haha, Airplane, you're not subtle.
Even so, Shen Yuan watches the videos and immediately agrees that Liu Qingge is beauty in motion, and that it would be criminal to deprive the world of more videos of his sword. Swordsmanship! That is the, the art of, martial arts! Definitely. He clicks the donate button, reasoning out that he'll just send a donation about the size of his usual monthly payments to Airplane and call it his good deed for the day.
Liu Qingge is very confused by this new follower from nowhere who suddenly dumped a little over a month's rent into his account. One thing leads to another, with Mingyan and Airplane conspiring to try and get Shen Yuan as a permanent patron, and then Liu Qingge being let in on it. Except that Airplane keeps referring to Shen Yuan as his sugar daddy, and well... it's not like Liu Qingge doesn't ever get 'those' kinds of comments on his videos. At first he's embarrassed, then offended, then mortified that his own younger sister is apparently setting him up to make premium private videos for what he assumes is some old pervert who is going to want him to do untoward things.
However, their options are pretty bleak at the moment, and Liu Qingge worries that if he doesn't do this then Mingyan might. She even mentions something to the effect of having planned to offer herself, and only didn't because she wasn't this "sugar daddy" guy's type!
Teeth clenched, Liu Qingge asks Airplane stiltedly for advice on how to... appeal, to this wealthy benefactor.
In the end though it's not nearly as bad as Liu Qingge feared. He winds up doing more videos in costumes and cosplay, which ought to have been an untenable expense, but Peerless Cucumber always ends up covering the cost of whatever he invests in plus extra. Sometimes he sends Liu Qingge stuff with a request to wear it, but so far it's just been like, badass warrior-themed or historical costumes. Nothing overtly pervy. He does some LARPing, he makes enough to start doing horseback archery again, convinces some of his good-looking peers from various clubs to spar with him, and ultimately the most risque videos he ends up doing are the ones where he demonstrates how to put on certain kinds of gear. He still locks those ones behind paid subscribers only, mostly because he feels like he's doing something illicit now, even if he used to show more skin on his older videos any time he took his shirt off.
Peerless Cucumber doesn't leave creepy comments, either. In fact he seems genuinely nice and supportive, it's hard not to like him, and so even once his situation levels out Liu Qingge decides there's not really much need to stop making videos for him. (He maybe even gets a little giddy thrill over... well, sometimes he finds it all a bit... just when he thinks about Peerless Cucumber watching him demonstrate his physical prowess and finding that alone worth... ANYWAY--)
So that goes on for a while, before Yue Qi enters the scene.
Yue Qi is the childhood friend of one of Shen Yuan's older brothers (Shen bros!) and Shen Jiu owes him a big favor for something that he won't talk about. At least he won't talk to Shen Yuan about it. But Yue Qi is also not the type to ask for help, and Shen Jiu is very bad at offering it, so when Shen Jiu gets word that Yue Qi is having some difficulties making ends meet, he tells Shen Yuan to act as the middle man. Go offer Qi-ge money, he knows you're nice he'll just accept it, and then Shen Jiu will pay the actual bill.
Well it turns out that Yue Qi doesn't just accept it, of course he sees right through it, and gently but firmly tells Shen Yuan that he's not interested in burdening Shen Jiu further than he already has. Etc, etc, stoic stiff upper lips and no proper communication all around. Shen Yuan panics because it's not working and he's also genuinely worried about Yue Qi by now, so he tries to figure out how to make it compelling and basically blurts that, well, see, the thing is that sometimes he pays men to entertain him. You know. To like. Do things, for him. So. He could also pay Yue Qi? To do something for him?
Yue Qi gets the wrong idea entirely, and at first is like, oh, no, A'Yuan, you shouldn't be paying people for that! These things should just happen organically! But Shen Yuan is very adamant that he believes in compensating people for what they do for him, it's not like he can't afford to, and it gets awkward but Yue Qi is like well he does have health problems. It's perhaps difficult for him to meet people. So then he starts worrying about Shen Yuan and all these strange men he's apparently paying for "entertainment". Does his brother know about this?
No of course Shen Jiu doesn't know! He'd hate it, and Shen Yuan doesn't want to hear about how he's doing everything wrong with his life again!
Then Shen Yuan mentions that his prior house cleaning service up and quit on him (they didn't), and if Yue Qi would like to earn fair compensation he could just come over sometimes to help instead, and Shen Yuan would pay him just to tidy up and hang out for a few hours! Which Yue Qi thinks is a fantastic idea, actually, even if Shen Yuan is only doing this because of his brother, this will give Yue Qi a chance to keep an eye on him and his so-called entertainers. Even if he sort of... ends up also being one?
Shen Yuan keeps everything above board, though his apartment always seems perfectly clean and he overpays way too much (Shen Jiu is still footing this bill after all), and Yue Qi starts to think maybe he actually is being paid for intimacy. Of a sort that they're maybe still working up to? Shen Yuan usually has a very thin face after all. He's kind of got two minds about this prospect. On the one hand, he's got his situationship with Shen Jiu, so dating his brother would be absurd. But on the other hand, it's not actually dating, and he does like Shen Yuan, and maybe if they can be good company for each other then Yue Qi won't feel so depressed and Shen Yuan won't need to hire strange men so often.
Meanwhile it's come to Shen Yuan's attention, perhaps through an offhand comment he read online somewhere, that people who are struggling financially often also struggle to "treat themselves". Because even when they have enough money to be comfortable there's often the looming specter of deprivation, and etc, so he figures he should start buying some of his dependents more treats and things. Since they might not buy them for themselves? And also he's enjoying doing this but shhh no he isn't, it's a huge hassle, he's only doing it out of basic moral decency, etc.
So like, Airplane starts getting little things that he'd put on some public wish lists, clearly sent by Peerless Cucumber. And he tells Mingyan to make a list for Liu Qingge too, and sure enough, Liu Qingge (bewildered, slightly flustered) tries to figure out what he's supposed to do with an album from a band he likes and some high-end leather polish. Ultimately settles on playing the music and wearing his nicest leather in his next video. Yue Qi starts arriving at Shen Yuan's place to be plied with his favorite coffees and to have scented candles awkwardly foisted onto him (Shen Yuan does not know what Yue Qi likes in gifts) (he buys these presents himself they're not out of Shen Jiu's pocket).
So finally Shen Yuan's parents start to notice that he's been spending a lot more than usual, and start to worry that he's either been taken in by a scam artist or is secretly dating a gold digger or has developed a drug addiction or something. But asking things directly like normal people is basically illegal in the Shen family, so they decide to hire a private investigator.
Enter Luo Binghe, a young man of humble background who is struggling to make ends meet after the untimely death of his adoptive mother, and is using his P.I. job and his online cooking videos to help pay his way through school (scholarship student). Usually his cases are more like, cyberstalking someone to find out if they're cheating on their spouse, or helping someone planning a lawsuit accumulate evidence on their corrupt employer, or other things like that. When he gets the Shen Yuan case, the idea that the Shen family's son is paying for "company" is well within his list of probable answers.
Though this one is a little... peculiar?
Mostly because Binghe can't find evidence of Shen Yuan actually getting what he would, presumably, be paying for. At first Luo Binghe just goes through the online paper trails, using the info that the Shen parents give him to figure out that Shen Yuan is paying Airplane and Swordmaster Liu (*cough*) what seem to be exorbitant prices just for trashy fiction and cosplay videos. He assumes this is a cover, that someone's actually delivering drugs or going over for "private meetings" or at least actually sending dirty videos as well, but even when he pays for Liu Qingge's VIP access it's just tutorials and such. Neither of these guys are even on any of the sites that are more lenient towards hosting explicit content. Luo Binghe's aware that kinks aren't always obviously sexual, but people don't usually pay through the nose for the kind of content they can easily find for free all over the place, either.
He digs a little more but keeps coming up empty on evidence to clarify which of the many vices the Shen family's son is actually indulging in. Which is a problem because that's the information they're paying him to find out. Plus his curiosity kind of piques as he reads Shen Yuan's seemingly quite invested comments on Airplane's writing and Liu Qingge's videos, looking to see if there's any kind of clandestine code or pattern. But near as he can tell, whatever else Shen Yuan might be getting out of these arrangements, he does genuinely like the stories and videos too? Well. Sometimes. Sometimes he's actually scathingly vitriolic towards Airplane's writing.
Luo Binghe decides that surveilling Shen Yuan himself is probably the way to go. That gets more complicated in court cases, but since the Shen parents just wants to know what's going on and aren't planning on prosecuting their son for anything, it doesn't matter as much if Luo Binghe gets information in sneaky or underhanded ways.
So, Binghe uses the account he created to access Liu Qingge's videos to chat with Shen Yuan a few times, and then recommends his own cooking channel. Shen Yuan doesn't seem too interested in cooking, so Luo Binghe makes sure to include a video that has an image of himself in his recommendation, and then films a few new videos of himself cooking with his shirtsleeves rolled up to three quarters and a few more buttons than usual unbuttoned, adopting a more flirty persona than he typically does for his shows. He takes his cues from some of Liu Qingge's more popular videos for how to be enticing bait.
It takes a few videos, but eventually Shen Yuan comments. Luo Binghe latches onto the chance to start talking to him, playing up a persona of a vulnerable young man with little means who is trying hard to make it through school, etc, and sure enough Shen Yuan seems interested. Well, most predatory people like vulnerable targets, don't they?
However... Shen Yuan just sends him a chunk of money.
Luo Binghe is confused.
Isn't he supposed to ask for something or create some kind of expectation of repayment first? But, maybe this is his approach to handling new targets. Maybe he's just trying to lull Binghe into a false sense of complacency, before he starts indicating what he wants from all of this. Luo Binghe makes sure to move the money Shen Yuan sends him into a separate account, so that if the Shen parents get angry about it then he can return it as a gesture of good faith.
But Shen Yuan just keeps sending supportive comments and donations. Eventually he leaves a comment that alludes to how badly he'd like to taste Binghe's cooking, and Binghe is like finally, but when he implies that they could perhaps meet in person and Luo Binghe could thank him for his support by making him something, Shen Yuan backs off.
Things eventually progress to the point where Luo Binghe, who is a totally normal person treating this like a totally normal job still thank you very much, is basically camping out in the bushes in front of Shen Yuan's apartment building. At some point he conscripts the aid of his weird cousin (finding his birth family was how he got into this business initially), and then almost immediately regrets it because Shen Yuan helps get Zhuzhi Lang a job doing landscaping for his building.
Why would he want Zhuzhi Lang close but not Binghe? Binghe is much handsomer! He'd make an excellent target for seduction! >:(
Anyway eventually Yue Qi catches Luo Binghe lurking around like a creeper and is like, finally, I have caught one of these suspicious men, whilst Binghe is like oh so he does have a lover, well this guy sucks and is clearly not good enough for him, and they both try and chase one another off and Shen Yuan comes home to a heated passive-aggressive-politeness war being waged in front of his apartment. Eventually he realizes the misunderstanding and calls everyone together (zoom conference? in-person meet-up?) to clarify that he is not paying any of them for "special favors", that was just Airplane being deranged about his sense of humor, and then he has no idea what to do when the prevailing response seems to be disappointment.
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lyrefromthesea · 3 months
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Male pillars x Reader - sitting on their lap
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author's note: I'm strictly against any kind of sexual interactions with minors. That's why I will either exclude Muichiro from such fics of or portray a wholesome interaction instead.
pairing: Tengen x reader, Obanai x reader, Rengoku x reader, Sanemi x reader, Giyuu x reader, Muichiro x reader, Gyomei x reader
content warning: suggestive words and actions
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Tengen:
"excuse me? I'm married!" he dramatically exclaimed, looking down at you. the man was already trying to refrain from smiling, watching you turn your head towards him.
"i'm sure Hinatsuru, Makio and Suma will forgive me." you answered, showing him your hand. he smirked at the all too familiar ring. he was glad he had married you.
"just playin', i could never disappoint the flamboyant person i married!" he laughed, clearly proud of himself. when you cocked your eyebrow at him, he let out a dramatic gasp, pulling you closer.
"are you trying to say i'm not the most perfect husband you could imagine?" he asked, displaying a huge amount of shock. you knew he was just making fun, especially when he pressed your back against his chest, bringing his lips to your ear.
"you were saying entirely different things yesterday." he said, watching you shudder at his words. you slapped his knee, scolding him for saying such things outside.
"come on, you know you love it!"
Obanai:
he freezes, his brain nearly malfunctioning. it's not like you've never sat on his lap before, but you usually gave him a warning first - asked for his approval.
"[name]? what's-" he asked, surprised when your arms wrapped around his neck, barely giving Kaburamaru time to slither away. words got stuck in his throat, feeling your lips against his mask - right above his own.
"nothing. i was just feeling affectionate." you answered, shifting to wrap your arms around his torso. he looked down at you, letting out a quiet yelp when your hips moved a bit too much on his lap.
"oh..?" you looked at him, a smile slowly forming on your lips. a blush made his way towards his cheeks, luckily covered by his mask. at least he felt lucky, you would've liked to see him blush.
"it looks like you're feeling affectionate too, Obanai." you chuckled, purposely drawing light circles with your hips. of course you had noticed the growing bulge in his pants, his hands now holding yours.
"don't tease me, [name].."
Rengoku:
"little flame! how was your day?" he enthusiastically asked, his arms wrapping around your torso. he pulled you closer, placing his chin on your shoulder.
"it was okay, i missed you." you answered, leaning against his chest. he smiled at you, enjoying the way your bodies were pressed together so gently.
"we can't have that, little flame! how about we go eat later?" he asked, holding you a bit closer. you chuckled at his words, he really loved taking you to new places - especially restaurants.
"i'd like that. let's go eat something later."
Sanemi:
"and what the hell are you doing?" Sanemi asked, feeling you make yourself comfortable on his lap.
he had cleaned his sword moments prior, hearing the door open - it was you. you moved towards him without warning, getting between him and his sword.
"getting your attention." you answered, moving even closer. don't think he didn't notice the way you purposely squished your chest against his own.
"yeah? didn't I give ya enough attention, sweetheart?" he teased, watching you pout in response. you had been alone for far too long, you finally wanted to spend time with him.
"you've been working on your sword for two hours now.." you complained. he placed it down, knowing that you were right. he just felt like the proper care could safe his ass one day, though a shiny sword probably wasn't that important.
"fine, ya win. this was getting uncomfortable anyways." he answered, almost making you question what he meant until he pressed his hips against yours more. oh, now you could feel it too.
"does that mean you want my attention as well-" you asked playfully, getting cut off by his lips pressing against yours before you could finished talking.
Giyuu:
"is everything alright?" his voice broke the silence, you've been sitting on his lap for almost 5 minutes now, not saying a single word. he was confused, not sure if you were fine or needed help.
"Giyuu, attention?" you asked, feeling him relax under you. he had been tense, thinking you could've been hurt somewhere. your words instantly calmed him down, his lips pressing against yours gently.
he didn't expect you to turn his soft kiss into something more passionate. his hands slowly came to hold your hips, tongues swishing against each other.
you broke the kiss, panting against his lips. he pressed his forehead against yours, pulling you a bit closer, only to have your hips start grinding slightly.
"l- love.. t- that's not.." he muttered, his cheeks visibly growing more red. hands squeezing your hips more, trying to create more friction. he could only moan when you finally started grinding against him properly.
"i.. i need to go on a mission later.." he panted against your lips, but he didn't object when you kissed him again, your hand wandering to his belt.
Muichiro:
"Muichiro! i finally caught up to you.." you heaved, letting yourself fall onto his lap. you had been running for nearly twenty minutes now, watching the boy leave his estate without food. being the good friend you were, you ran after him.
"[name]? what are you doing here..?" he asked, letting you lean against him. your cheeks were flushed from running. it would've been different if you also were a hashira, but you still had much to learn.
"you.. you forget your food, Mui.." you panted, reaching into your pocket. he looked rather surprised when he saw the small box of food he usually brought with him.
"thank you..! i've completely forgotten." he laughed, eventually coaxing a smile out of you. you gave him the box, seeing his eyes lit up at the promise of food.
he wanted to dive right in before he had a quiet growl come from your stomach, making your cheeks flush. "do you want some?" he asked, watching you shake your head.
"i brought my own!" you countered, grabbing into your back once more. silence filled the room when you noticed you had only brought his food.
his arm wrapped around your torso, forcing you to stay on his lap a while longer. "let's share." he said, offering you some of his food. you knew he wouldn't let you go until you have had a healthy portion.
Gyomei:
"welcome back." the giant said, feeling you plop onto his lap, nuzzling against his chest. you let out a tired hum, feeling a large hand soothingly rub over your arm.
"is there something wrong? you're more quiet than usual." he asked, gently bringing your head closer with his hand - allowing you to be closer to him. you could hear the gentle rhythm of his heartbeat.
your day had been stressful, but he somehow always managed to calm you down. his warmth. his voice. his actions. they put your mind at ease.
"i know it's ridiculous, but i've felt really stressed out lately. i just want a break.." you muttered, closing your eyes. you were trying to focus on his heartbeat and ignore everything else around you.
"it's not ridiculous, you deserve a break. perhaps a visit to the hot spring would help calm you down?" he offered, feeling you nod against his chest. you felt warm hands rub over your thighs, his head now closer to yours.
"and i could pamper you a bit more after that.." he muttered against your ear, your eyes opening again. the warmth pooling in your gut could probably rival the hot spring's temperature
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welshattack · 1 year
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my cat almost tore the entire face off a needle felt project jfjdkfsadjfjrrRRJRJJAAAAAAA
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never changing [ five hargreeves x reader ]
a/n: hi y’all! it’s been a hot minute since i’ve been on here, but after the absolute shit show that season 4 was, some sparks ignited in me to write up anything to take my mind off it 🙌
its not anything crazy, just fluff and banter since i haven’t written anything in years so it may be as poorly redacted as this season lmao
summary: five and y/n attend their niece birthday party together, yet separate
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“Happy birthday, little Gracie!” You smiled widely, trying not to drop the wrapped present box as the six year old girl jumped into your arms, “Oh my gosh, look at you! You’re just getting prettier by day, aren’t you?”
You had just got off work in a hurry to make your appearance at the little girl’s birthday party at a decent time, in spite of the amount of paperwork you managed to bury yourself in lately. You knew how much it would have meant for the celebrated one to show up and you couldn’t bear to let her down, especially on her birthday.
After spending most of your life working for the Commission, and then a decent amount of time exhausting yourself in trying to stop multiple Apocalypses, your last six years have been pretty quiet as a lawyer. You really wanted to get out of the whole assassin thing, but at the same time couldn’t exactly move on from the thrill of the work field. Your career as a lawyer took off really well these past years, but inevitably it came along with the cost of always being stuck at work, so whenever your niece got the chance to see you, she was truly enthusiastic.
“Auntie Y/N!” She wrapped her tiny arms around your neck, engulfing you into a tight hug, “You are here!”
Nonetheless, these six years have been truly and undeniably the most peaceful time of your life for as long as you could remember.
“You literally saw each other the other day,” Five raised a brow, watching you and the celebrated one act as if you hadn’t seen each other in years.
You and the little girl shared a look, before rolling your eyes and turning to glare at the man next to you. Ever since Grace learned how to talk, you and her would gang up on her uncle for your amusement, especially since he was so keen on entertaining the banter.
These past six year have gone by in the blink of an eye, yet at the same time at a slow and steady pace. You spent most of your time working anyway, but still kept in touch with the seven siblings you’d grown to love.
Some in different ways than others.
“Uncle Five, you’re always more excited than me to see Aunt Y/N,” Gracie waved him off, making you burst out laughing, “Jealousy isn’t a good look on you anyway.”
“What is a good look on him anyway?” You smirked, making the little girl laugh, as Five swept her into his arms;
“Okay, munchkin, it’s your birthday today, but tomorrow I’m going back to bullying you,” He joked, causing you both to laugh, before the two shared a hug before you, “You’re lucky your gift has no return policy.”
The party had already started by the time you made it there. The playground was huddled by other kids around Grace’s age, along with their parents. The music was playing loudly over the laughter of children and you were pretty sure that most of the family had already arrived. It was not the most ideal gathering, but you tried your best to keep in touch with most of the family to your best capabilities.
“Y/N, I’m so glad you could make it!” Luther smiled, appearing from the crowd of guests, immediately giving you a big hug as his niece was still wrapped around Five, “Haven’t seen you since Thanksgiving!”
“Big shot lawyer doesn’t always have the time to stay in touch with family, huh?” Diego teased you, following suit, as you rolled your eyes, dropping off his daughter’s gift in his hands.
“Big shot delivery driver doesn’t know the phone works both ways, huh?” You smirked, putting your hands on your hips.
Diego laughed out loud as he gave you a hug, always in the mood for a back and forth short banter with you. After all, you truly were family, even if you didn’t always have the time to be present in the Hargreeves’ day to day lives. You may have met them in the original timeline in 2019, when you accidentally time traveled with your former partner at the Commission, Five, but after all you’ve been through, you didn’t need to have grown up together or be blood related to be considered that. And you truly were grateful for each and every single one of them, in spite of the many differences over the years.
After everything that’s happened six years ago at Hotel Oblivion, everyone went their separate ways. Allison was back with her daughter while trying to further her acting career and also help Klaus stay on the sober line, Viktor had moved to Canada where he opened a bar, Diego and Lila had three kids, Luther was “professionally dancing”, Ben had some run-ins with the law and Five, ironically enough, was working for the CIA.
“Well, you two are as annoying as always,” Ben told you and his brother, making Diego roll his eyes as he walked towards the gift table to set down your present.
“Please try to stay out of prison at least for the remainder of the year,” You joked with the man, making him roll his eyes as he hugged you loosely, “There’s only so much favors I could owe the DA.”
“Shut the fuck up,” Ben groaned, “I don’t even know why they let you work at the law firm since you still look like a prepubescent with no boobs. Even Five got a growth spurt.”
“I sized up to B recently, thank you very much,” You nudged his shoulder, before placing your hands on your chest in an offended manner.
“Okay, Gracie, not a conversation you’d wanna hear,” Five spoke up, putting his niece down, “Your aunt needs to learn some etiquette on how to act around children.”
“Funny coming from you,” You couldn’t help but wave him off.
You didn’t come in with Five at the party, but as fate had it, you did run into him as you were parking your car. He had just gone out to his brother’s dusty van to bring inside some more cookies for the guests. You kept in touch with him as well, but not as often as you would have liked. It’s not all that serious, but given the fact that you were a lawyer still climbing your way to the top and him being a top notch CIA agent, you didn’t exactly have the time to hang out.
At least, not as much as you’d have liked.
Five was watching you with a small smile tugging at the corner of his lips, and his hands in his pockets. He had the same look on his face as always when watching you. He had the same smile when he saw you in combat for the first time during your first mission for the Commission together, the same look in his eyes when you appeared for the first time in 2019 alongside him in your teen bodies. The same posture he had when he met you again in 1963 after months of not seeing each other.
He wore the same love on his face while looking at you when you and the siblings split up after the events at Oblivion.
And never once did you notice that.
Not once in these past six years you let your feelings surface.
“You know Grace is my niece too, right?” He couldn’t drop the small smile even if he wanted to.
“Since when are you such a family man?” You raised a brow, trying to keep a confident composure.
“Oh, something changed in me between the first and third time I traded the world for my siblings,” He lightly shrugged his shoulders, making you roll your eyes at the sarcastic remark.
You two never changed.
“Please, I was there for the twins birth,” You waved him off.
You rarely see Five, and even when you do you always try to act normal, as you do around the rest of the Hargreeves. Everyone tried to get you two together at first, since the apocalypse was over and there was no reason for you to not get together, right?
You really wished it was that easy. In hindsight, maybe it was. But you couldn’t take any chances in losing Five forever if something were to go wrong. Maybe some would see it as something stupid, or as if you wasted so many years, but to you- mentally, you were almost seventy, while physically nineteen. You had so much time ahead of you now, all that mattered was to get a stable career first.
Five let a chuckle escape, shaking his head in disbelief, as he looked at the floor for a couple of seconds. When he looked back at you, you tried to keep your composure. You couldn’t help but feel pathetic that after all these years, your heart still skipped a beat whenever he’d look at you.
“You’re doing that thing again where you forget that some other people are still around, guys,” Luther raised his hand, grabbing your attention once again.
“I got bored of watching seventy year old virgins,” Ben shrugged his shoulders, “I’m gonna go get shitfaced.”
“Always a delight seeing you, Benjamin,” Five said, as Luther followed the ex-tentacle boy suit to make re he was not about to actually get drunk;
“This is a six year old’s birthday party!”
You giggled, watching the two brothers speed away while arguing amongst the kids in the crowd. When your eyes laid back on Five, who was intently watching you, you couldn’t help but feel a small blush creep its way in your cheeks.
“What?”
“Nothing.”
“Spit it out, Hargreeves.”
“I said it’s nothing!”
“Fuck you.”
“Why?”
You watched him dumbfounded for a couple of seconds because of the only answer he could come up with, before walking away, hoping he would follow you.
When he did try to keep up with you, you looked away to hide the proud smile. Even after all these years, things were still the same with him. He was still so eager to spend time with you, he was still smiling at you and entertaining your conversation.
“Aunt Y/N, Uncle Five, come play in the ball pit!” Gracie ushered you from afar, already tucked in the plastic colorful balls.
“You heard the birthday girl!” You smiled, grabbing his hand to drag Five after you.
Even after all these years he would instantly lock his fingers with yours.
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