#welp. time to right on the ol’ script

[pixlmonkeys]

can’t sleep as usual but at least there’s this image I found earlier so it’s ok

[wench-and-jezebel]

Dark Angel Reaction: 411 on the DL

Jezebel (@typicalopposite) reacts [with occasional asides by Wench (@scripted-downfall)]

I don’t sleep much 🥴🥴 They are human, woman.  They need sleep

Jesus, glad I’m not epileptic [I didn't see a warning, that's for sure]

Le gasp COPS

Asssss hole coppps

["how's a girl supposed to get home?" I get the actually point she was making, but also... Chick, you're a supersoldier.  Figure it out fjsksks] 

I still maintain the twirling baby is odd  [You haven’t come to love the revolving baby yet?]

[TONY! ...Wait :)]

BRUH.  I LOOKED DOWN RIGHT WHEN HE PULLED OUT THE SANDWICH.  IT DIDN’T LOOK LIKE A SANDWICH  [That's called a baguette, dear, but also.  Awkward.  Also, I thought you were "bruh"ing because of the button itself dhsjsk]

Now you can see why seeing him play stoic serious was odd  [‘Tis true.  He's got some snark, but nowhere near the same]

I’m pretty sure Tony has an ex wife too iirc  [Huh]

Not his chi

Oooof.  Marital issues.  I thought she was being rude at first, like "you were the last I was thinking of", but I see it’s not

Gah damn that a lot a money  [Yup. That's a lot now, much less in this universe.  But it does bear mentioning: a motorbike called Nirvana seems awesome]  Those fucking places suck.  I had a car impounded after a wreck  [Damn]

[Wdym, you let everything slide off you like water?  No, you don't, Max; you bitch about everything]  😂😂😂😂

“I hear ya sista but you don’t hear me”

Wait, is herbal gay?  I’m relistening to that lol

No I misheard.  He said my woman; I thought he said my ol’ man.  I was like wooooot

[She sounds so whiny too, just saying.  Like, I get the point, and I'd agree, but also.  "I don't want a used bike, wah"]

Does Normal ever smile before Alec lol  [No.]  ☠️☠️☠️

A SMILE  [Okay, that was a half smile, but like.]  well  [Not the same]  Smilette

Suspicious blonde boy look like suspicious blonde kid.  Watch Sam be Zach or one of them

Can you scan the barcodes?

“It’s like opening up the paper and seeing my panties”  I don’t think that would be the same ma’am

Lintlicker

[Oh, look, this time Max is the jealous one]

[His hair is so spiky]

What did she say?  “Lookey?”  [It was whatever nickname Valerie used on the phone.  Loogey, is my guess]  W-why is that his nickname  [Idk, my dear]

And he can’t turn it off ☠️☠️☠️

Jealous Max ☠️☠️

If I was him I would run over her damn toes

[Why do so many of these episodes have the premise "Max needs x amount of money before y person leaves the state and has to do z bad thing to get it.”]  Right? 😂😂😂  [We’ve got this one, then “Proof of Purchase,” then “Borrowed Time.”  And that’s just off the top of my head.]

So now she needs 18000

Is that Taika?  [I WONDERED THAT!  I've been wondering that for days] That is not taika  Lol  [Djdjsjsksk Good to know]  Boooo I was excited

😂😂☠️☠️ love the speech  [Fjjsksks I love Herbal]  Sameeee

Wait did herbal leave?  Like, leave leave?  [He's allegedly been fired, but idk if it lasts] Ahh, I see  [Max has been fired like 50 times]

[Okay, Normal is being a bit suspicious with.  Sam.]  ☠️☠️☠️☠️

Cheer up!

Oooooop Jealoussss  [Accurate]

[Not quiet, not sweet, etc.  But also, sweeter than Max]  Nice…er than you bitch

“Great body”  😂☠️☠️☠️☠️

["by the grace of God" fjdjksksk]

Oh no she didn’t just pop up on them like that!  Howwwww rudeeeeee

– – –

Here, Wench’s Internet decided to go out, so her responses were done after the fact and blended in subsequently.  Thus, this is also true for anything Jezebel responded to her with.

– – –

Oooooo! Angryyyy Max

Oh nooooo, his womannnnn.  Fuck Winston! 

“Wiiinston!  *shakes head*”  I love Herbal!

A dog!  [Makes sense it’d growl given her feline genes, but not quite clear on how/why it stopped]  ☠️☠️☠️ that’s what I thought

BRUH ☠️ all that and the box only had $2  [I do have to ask a) why tf she thought there’d be much money in the unsecured box there and b) why she didn’t steal the $2, but oh, well.]

Welp, impound man: you have been bamboozled

Clint linklicker ‘sigh’  [That guy working under him looks like Elias from Person of Interest.]

[“We’ll be there” Bro, you’ve been there every time she showed up in the past.  You just can't catch her because you… suck.]  Like.  I just can’t even 😂😂😂

[“That young man is worth the rest of you bums put together” Sir, your worship is showing again.  I swear, he says that exact same sentence about Alec.  I’m noticing a trend.]

So what is this, post apocalyptic Amazon?  I’ve been meaning to ask that this whole show  [You mean Jam Pony?]  Ye  [Yeah, basically.  It's a delivery service. Not really a corporation though.]

Like I get them being angry but they don’t have to be mean to dumb blonde man  Sammy boy is struggling to ride a bike, friend

She stuffed gum in the money hole

“A butterfly farted in India”  ☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️

– – –

An update on Wench’s adventures with Internet:

Google search: "how do you connect to wifi"

Google answer: "go to this link"

Link: "this link won't work in chrome; go to this safari link for help"

The Safari link in question: "sorry, you're not connected to the internet"

Wench: WTAF, HOLY HELL, OH MY FREAKING GOODNESS, JUST- @K$#$*&@(RJ#&$R)(#$*(*@)(*@$)(@$

Jezebel: ☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️

– – –

Long-after-midpoint reaction:

Well, first I felt a little pity for Max cause they stole her bike, and then the guy’s potentially scamming her.  I’m guessing he’s gonna get dead, btw, if he’s going against Lintlicker.  (Which is a saved word in my phone now lol)

But her little hissy fit over Logan’s ex… Hmph.  Like. WOMAN.  Either you want him or you don’t.  (Which is so much like Ziva you will seeee omg).

Also HERBAL! Buddy! Kick Winston and ya woman out! That’s not good!

And then there’s Ken doll. ☠️☠️ who seems like discount Alec even though Alec isn’t even on yet, just because he has Normal drooling over him

– – –

WHY YOU SO MEAN TO THE DUMB BLONDE BOYYYY

“Weeenston”

Oh nooooo, the sunburn  [He looks. Orange.]

Oh nooo x2 the ring mark

Yussssss the double crossing.  She seemed so nice.

They aren’t even really kissing wtf is this ☠️☠️  They are mouthing the air around each other’s mouths  ☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️

Well.  Guy (Vogelsang) got dead

[Ma’am does not understand subtlety; she legit stares, frightened, at the Manticore guys, then suspiciously runs away.  THEY LOOK FOR THAT KINDA THING.]

[“Vogelsang was dead and Lydecker was there; that’s enough for me” Ma’am, wot. Illogic at its finest.]

He’s fine

Have you ever been able to? Lol

Oh shit that’s gonna be a thing (her telling about the ex)

WHATTTTTT DID I SAY?  I CALLED IT 

Now dumb blonde is less dumb ☠️☠️☠️  I love it

Did he know she was her?  [idk, I’ll let you know when I rewatch]

What is that run?  ☠️☠️☠️☠️

Oh he did know [Ah, I see]

He be a mooooordererrrrr

His whole personality is different it’s strange

Bruh who are you ☠️

“That’s an order”  Why are y’all even free if your gonna be ordering people around  [That’s what I’m freaking saying, thank you]

Don’t kiss her

Pls don’t kiss her

[That scene was uncomfortableeeeee.  Even without “Some Assembly Required” as a primer.]

And cue angry Tony.  I mean, Logan.

Why he give her money????  WHY DID HE GIVE HER THE MONEY?!?!?!?!  THROW HER OUT THE WINDOW 

“It wasn’t my idea.  I just executed it.”  Why’d he give her the mooooooney!???!!!

He’s too niceeeee

Oooof  [Buddy angsting at the window, staring out at the rain like a regular Heathcliffe]

Herbal put Weenston out.  I love it

Why is she getting the third degree for being honest?

Buddy, that’s not how you say “you should go give Logan some loving”

HES STILL SITTING AT THE WINDOW, THE POOR BUDDY  😂😂😂😂😂

Did she say she “hooked up” with Zach?  Ma’am, he touched your chin and that was toooo much

THIS IS NOT GIVING LOGAN LOVE, MAAM.  soooo very ruuuuudeeeeee

Okay, now y’all kiss

“In the guest room,” he says.  That’s code for something

This is the.  WEIRDEST.  Talk.  [Well, at least they both talk circuitously.]

AND DONE

– – –

Jezebel: I swear I’m vibing during my midpoint and I’m confused by the end.  Each ep.  I think it’s cause usually the big problem gets solved but opens a new one.  Which I mean yeah that’s how shows go from ep to ep. But idk this feels like too much. Almost like the ending shouldn’t be the ending but like a mid or 3/4 point. Idk.  I still like it, though. Wayyyy more than I intended to

Wench: For what it’s worth, season 2 kinda resolves that, imo.  Or at least to my recollection.  The main episodes I remember reach natural conclusions.  

Jezebel: 🙂 good!

Wench: But they’re also a bit more standalone in general.  s1 is about her quest to find her siblings; s2 is about Manticore folks being out and about in general.  There’s a bit of an arc, but not as much of one.  If that makes sense?

Jezebel: Ahhh it does 🙂

Wench: My favorite eps are pretty standalone, at least.  “The Berrisford Agenda” is one of my beloved episodes (Alec-centric) and it’s very compact.

Jezebel: Wait, is Ben one of the ones that got away or is he her actual brother?

Wench: He’s one of her siblings.  One of the kids who escaped in ‘09.  With Max.  Part of her unit.

Jezebel: Ahhhhhh! See this whole time I thought he was just like another kid her mom had that she finds and, like, gets killed in the crossfire

Wench: Nah, he and Alec got twinned.  Only the twins are at all biologically related, and that’s not them usually them being related, per se; it’s usually cloning or something.  And Ben got out, but Alec didn’t.

Jezebel: WAIT HIS NAME IS BEN.  i just made this connection too ☠️😂

Wench: askfjlksjf I’m so confused

Jezebel: Ben. From spn

Wench: oh.  OH.  Huh.  I thought you were going for Soldier Boy ‘cause his name is Ben 

Jezebel: WAIT WOT

Wench: Yeah, pretty sure

Jezebel: Bruh

Wench: :) 

Jezebel: He plays the Bens; he fathers a Ben (as Dean), he dates a Ben…ny

Wench: !!kjlajsdlfkjasdflkj

Jezebel: Ackles, you got a preference or something?

Wench: LKJASLKDJF;ALKDJSFL;KJASDF

*a moment passes*

Wench: I’m dying waiting for you to get to "Pollo Loco".  It’s my favorite s1 episode.  The filming is stunning.  And Ben is such a tragic character, and is done so well (he’s like if you took MBV!Jackles and smushed in Dean)

Jezebel: Awwww 🥺🥺🥺

Wench: And maybe a bit of SB, though I don’t know for sure.  He’s got a deep and abiding cynicism that makes me think more of what little I know of SB.  And a delight in violence.  Dean likes the hunt, but he doesn’t thrive on the violence to the same degree, imo.  You agree?

Jezebel: Yeah, I get it

– – –

That’s a wrap!  We don’t know when the next episode will be — thus, whether the next reaction is going to be NCIS or Dark Angel — but see you then!

[letterstothemidnightsociety]

And so we leave the warm and friendly bosom of the Ghostfacers and descend into the final three episodes of Supernatural season 3. And guys, it’s gonna be a lot of goodbyes.

Welp. We can't say they didn't warn us.

Goodbye Bela. Goodbye Katie Cassidy as Ruby. Goodbye Dean for like, a hot minute. But on the other hand, say hello to that Oh-right!-Sam-has-demon-powers story line!

I’ve mentioned it before and I’ll say it again - one of my fav lines in season 2 is in the finale. Right before he’s destroyed, Ol’ Yellow Eyes leans in to Dean and grumble whispers, “How certain are you that what you brought back, is 100%, pure, Sam?” And just like that, the whole Winchester dynamic that Dean (and we) thought was solid gets reeeeealllly shaky. By the time YED says this line, we’ve all watched sweet, cuddly Sammy cold-blooded murder a guy with a knife, so there’s definitely evidence that something is up. But that...never...quite pans out in season 3. Sam is still Sam. He’s soft and sincere and he’s got those big, open, puppy-dog eyes and he’s always willing to listen to both sides. Season 3 Sam doesn’t make a whole lot of adjustments. It’s possible that by pal-ing him up with Ruby, the writers were trying to say, ooo! He’s different now cuz he’s friends with demons! But that’s still V. On Brand Sam. Of course he’d be willing to listen. He fell in love (I guess?) with a werewolf. He made friends with a coven of Vampires. Given the right circumstances, Sam actually will ask questions first and shoot later.

See? Look at that Listening Face!

Now it’s not anyone’s fault entirely that this plot line never panned out. The Writer’s Strike really did a number on the season, and plotlines that could have been further developed had to get dropped due to the shortened episode count. I’ve been talking about the Writer’s Strike for like, well, the last 4 entries here, but if you’re old enough to remember the strike, you know it was a friggin’ big deal. It did a number on a lot of shows, changed the landscape of scripted and unscripted programming and probably changed the entire course of the rest of the SPN series as a whole. And honestly, with fewer episodes to develop some of the more complicated mythology stuff, it makes sense to simplify and switch gears to focus on Dean’s thing. That’s the important storyline. That’s the one that’s gotta pay off by the end of the season. But I still like to think about what could have been if we’d gotten the Slow Turning of Sam Winchester. It’s no secret Dean is my personal (problematic) fav and I think Ackles’ performance is a big part of why so many people love Dean/This Show. Not that Sam/Padalecki isn’t perfectly solid as a character/performer, but this season especially it occurs to me that there’s not a whole lot for Sam to work with. He’s still acting as the audience stand-in. He’s not someone we’re meant to humanize and analyze the way we do with Dean. He’s a blank slate we’re meant to embody. We’re him, riding in the front seat of the Impala, reading maps and putting clues together and singing along with Dean to the radio. How wild would it have been if we’d seen him slowly devolve into something less than human? And I’m not talking just the snarky brand of Evil(™) we see with a lot of the demon characters on this show. I mean something cold and remorseless and almost robotic - he’s not good, he’s not evil, he’s just focused on one thing at a time, and he’ll do whatever it takes to succeed, and that demon blood means he’s got the powers to do it. This season, that version of Sam is focused on saving Dean’s soul, but what about next season? Where could that Sam have gone?

Anyhoodle, that’s a storyline I’ve been thinkin’ about a lot cuz of Reasons. We’ll see how the whole Demon Powers thing plays out in later seasons, but my memory is that...it doesn’t? Stay tuned.

In the meantime, we’ve got “Long Distance Call”, an episode full of the kind of Dean-Centric Emotional Trauma that I fell in love with this show for. Is it just me or does this episode feel like a recap? Like, if you’re just tuning in now, you’re gonna get a lot of background on our brothers’ and their family dynamics, plus a renewed interest in Dean’s soul drama oh and also a regular-type-case to wrap it all up in. It’s like the show is reminding it’s audience what the show is about like we haven't been following along for 58 episodes already. Maybe it’s just because last episode was a completely different format and they wanted to reassure viewers that the show wasn’t actually changing anything about itself in any significant way. Maybe it’s just because we’re at the end of a season, and moreover, a season that had a surprise hiatus half way through filming so no really, maybe they did need to refresh viewers on a lot of backstory. Isn’t it weird streaming shows that were meant to be watched week to week?

The big fallout from “Long Distance Call” is that Dean realizes that he can’t expect some surprise miracle answer to all his problems to drop right into his lap. He’s gonna have to save his life/soul his own damn self.

I have two things to say to this - 1) uhhh, dude? You’re a Winchester. When has that ever happened EVER in your life? EVER? And 2) Uhhhh DUDE? YOU HAVE A BROTHER AND A SURROGATE FATHER NAMED BOBBY SINGER, SINCE WHEN DO YOU HAVE TO DO ANYTHING ALONE? In unsurprising news, I find this revelation infuriating.

Ok moving on to “Time is On My Side” and like...I could talk about how wild it is that the villain (played by veteran Hollywood Villain Billy Drago) is not magic at all but in fact, just very good at Weird Science. I could also talk for like, three days about Rufus Turner and his Johnny Walker Blue (played by veteran Hollywood Man About Town, Steven Williams). Instead, though, let’s talk about Bela.

Hello? 2008? Stop doing this to your female characters.

Bela, I will miss you SO much. Because this episode makes it VERY clear that Bella is gone for good. And also that the writers did NOT ship Dean and Bela, no sir, no we did not introduce this character to be a love interest, what are you even talking about? Dean is ruthless with her. He gives more credit to (and feels more remorse over) the demon that Sam kills way back in “Sin City” than he gives to Bela. To be fair, Dean is basically a caged animal staring down the barrel at this point in the season, so you could argue his behavior has more to do with desperation than real anger. But considering the long hiatus and the reworked back half of the season, it’s hard not to connect Dean’s attitude with the writers’ reaction to fan backlash over both Bela and Ruby. It’s almost like they’re telling all the Bela-haters out there “don’t worry, we heard you loud and clear, and yes, Bela’s going away and she’s going away for good.” To make up for it, they show us, the audience, a tragic and understandable backstory for why Bela’s on Team Demon but Dean never finds out any of that. I mean, cool motive, still murder, but they were definitely trying hard to end any Dean/Bela vibes still floating around in the canon. I guess when you’re coming back from a writer’s strike and your show is still on shaky ground, ratings-wise, you make a point to give your fans what they want. But also, fans are idiots sometimes and way back in 2008 we didn’t know anything.

2008, please also stop doing this to your female characters too.

And Dean’s got a similar attitude towards Ruby next episode. Ok, so he’s never been a Ruby Fan, but “Malleus Maleficarum” implied he’d at least come to some kind of mutual understanding with her. I’d even call it a real connection. Now he’s calling her “the Ms. Universe of lying skanks,” and hoo boy. On the one hand that comes off as unnecessarily harsh. On the other hand, that is a terrible burn, like, wow, I guess they can’t all be winners buddy, but sheesh. Is your heart even in that one?

Rolling right along into the finale finale and we finally meet Lilith! Lilith who is both a supreme evil power and also a small child and that’s just the sort of packaging I’d except from the SPN writers at this point you sick bastards!

Yeah, this feels real on brand for some reason.

I’m gonna take a moment to point out that the end of season 3 gives us this trio of women who could be...interesting? I’m probably stretching it a bit if I try to make an argument for a Fates/Triple Goddess/Maiden-Mother-Crone setup. (I mean, who’s who in this scenario?It’s a real reach.) I’ll give this to SPN - they introduced three morally complicated women this season and if nothing else, they were fun to watch. Do they count as recurring characters if the 2 out of 3 that live to season 4 get recast?

To round out this season, the Winchesters lose again. That’s 3 for 3 for anyone who’s keeping track.

That's rough, buddy.

The thing is? Dean...brings this one on himself. Seasons 1 and 2 Winchester have their hearts (and souls) invested in plans that fall apart at the end. They tried their hardest, but they just weren’t good/strong/smart/powerful/etc enough. This season, it feels less like a lack of ability and more like an overabundance of decisionmaking. Season 2 Dean makes the decision to trade his soul for Sam. Early season 3 Dean makes the decision to Not Care and wallow in self destruction. End of season 3 Dean makes the decision to stand on the moral high ground and not make any more deals that could end up with him worse off than he was before. That last one is not a judgement call, it’s just pointing out that there was a way out he could have taken and he chose not to. Dean is, and probably always will be, his own worst enemy.

Yeah, this is on you pal.

In the Year of Our Streaming Service of Choice, 2021, it is interesting revisiting this shortened season. I don’t remember it feeling rushed the first time I watched it, but I’m also pretty sure I watched the entire season in like, a week(...end?) so pacing had no meaning. Now that the average season of “television” is way shorter than it was back in 2008, the rushing on this season is pretty obvious. I think as a whole, it does still work, but we’ve got way better examples of shows with even shorter seasons that roll out smoother and more concise. Where SPN shines is in that balance between one-offs and season-arc episodes. Short seasons go hand in hand with tighter storytelling and less wandering/one-off eps. With a shorter season, SPN could have succeeded by adjusting Fun:Drama episode balance according to their usual ratio. Unfortunately for them, they started writing season 3 unaware that their episode order was about to get cut by roughly 25%.

Onwards to Season 4!

[seenashwrite]

14.12 Round-Up

I mean... okay.

This one is essentially what I would’ve posted had I live-blogged. No analysis, really, because there’s nothing to analyze. So, let us begin with my first thoughts whist gazing upon the first scene:

It's. Made. Of. Trash. Cans.

Yes, he's teary-eyed, and yes, and stellar Jensen work, and yes, and feels, and yes, and “Sam!”, and yes, and shit, but - and I can't emphasize this enough----

It's. Made. Of. Trash. Cans.

More importantly, like I said last week, he can imagine this scenario just fine, except it's the cosplay dude in there. Under the ocean of your mind is easier on the noggin than walk-in freezer, methinks. Tinier bangs, muffled screaming.

Clawed-up wall is very nice touch.

SERIAL KILLER?!?!  YASSSSSS!!! IS THIS AN ACTUAL CASE?!?!!? Oh and nice underwater visuals... kicking it this week, set design and cinematography!

Why is there no other way, Dean? I can think of three. But none of that matters - Sam and Cas, here's what y'all do, it's called valium. Slip five of those in his whiskey, his system can take it. Then I'd like to introduce you to two of my friends, intubation and a propofol drip. Stick him in a room - preferably Maggie’s, after you kick her out - and presto, time to figure out how to open The Cage and swap Michaels.

I know y'all hate Nick but that guard was working my nerves, so props to ol' Limpy, there. And again with the pretty color and nice shot. More props to the crew, yo.

What is this trip about? Y'all keep talking about what it isn't, so what the shit is it? Is it one last bro bonding for the road? Y'know, for the road on the road? Or are they on their way to dump him into the ocean? Then where's the casket*? The casket which, I feel it necessary to point out---

Is. Made. Out. Of. Trash. Cans.

.

* ETA: I’ve been informed it was in a trailer on the back of Baby, which somehow I compleeeeetely missed. I zoned out a lot in this one, it was so damn repetitive between the heavy-handed comparisons in the subplot to Dean’s situation, and the identical-but-with-different-words convos between Dean and Sam/Dean and Cas that kept happening over and over and over and over and over and....

.

Blah-blah-blah Pharaoh's plague, first born, got it. And I assume he's another prophet since y'all blew that wad in the title and in the "Then" with the Donny stuff. And plus the whispery voices. And it's happening because he's brain-dead, not dead-dead. Watch. I'm right.

[mere moments]

Hey, girl. Yeah, you. You, in the mirror. You're hella good at the pedestrian scripting stuff. Mwah. Let's see if you're right about the rest.

(I'm right. I’m always right. #humbly)

Ahhh, half-time. Good. I need a brownie.

Ooooh Sam with the gritty voice upon entry (I absolutely meant that to sound dirty) and hey it's Gabriel wallpaper!

Welp. A choke, two punches, and a gunshot later, we are off to an exciting second half, I hope.

Oh.... ohhhh.... thank you Cassy baby for that scoop. [clears throat] Hey, girl. It's me. Me-You, again. You and your sexy brain that predicts the easily predictable deserves a second brownie. Double-mwah.

Nicky, you're about to get a case of the ghosties----- and damn, there we go! Oof, awkward. Or hell maybe it is Luci. Testing him. In a way, I hope not, I was hoping he'd be all skeletal and tarred. Minus the dollar store Terminator effect, of course. This is a good scene. It's well acted. Pellegrino just gives 120% with any material he's given, he's a gem.

YES, CAS. Give him the business. PS: I love whoever has the stethoscope on Misha like that, or if he did it I love him - my point is, somebody is close to somebody in the medical profession because we---- ER, UM, I MEAN THEY #secret identity--- don't just hang out with the 'scope like that. Hilarious. *chef's kiss* Perfect for Cas.

No, he won't die, dude. Why do they write Sam as the dumbest smart person sometimes?  It's a vent, not fucking bypass. Vents are for people who can't breathe on their own for whatever reason or because they're in surgery or whatnots, and Donny was making with the conscious. He was wide awake. It's all good, yo. Your bigger worry is D-Dog coming out of it and still being loopy and spazzing out and jerking the tube, jacking his trachea.

I would happily wake up to that mug in my face, btw. Hey, girl, he'd say. Look who's wakey-wakey eggs and bakey. Because he's Dean, and Dean would say something sexy like that because he'll be so swoony when his tired ass eyes met my bloodshot crusty ones. Supes romantic.

Are we really almost done with this episode? I feel like we haven't gotten a lot accomplished. Not Dean-Sam-Cas wise, I mean. There's been plenty of story, and a decently cool story, otherwise. The rest has been repetitive "Don't do it" - "Imma do it" dialogue.

He's not gonna do it.

Know how I know?

*Boop*

Yeah, yeah, I should separate real life and pretend, but to this I say: not all conflict and drama has to be life-or-death for the main players. It's actually kinda ridiculous to try to do it in modern times (at least, not constantly) with how tapped-in fans are with the industry, we know about contract renewals and such. You know the last best drama this show had? Dean waking up with demon eyes. You wanna talk about some cliff-damn-hanger motherfucking drama. The possibilities, all the unknown. Not only is he not dead, he's also *himself* - a different version of himself, a primal version. That, friends, is seldom done and even less frequently done well, and Ackles did it very, very well. Ah, Demon Dean, we hardly knew thee. I've digressed.

This ending scene is basically Jared's AKF drill, and I'm not shitting on it, legit, I'm truly not - my point is to say it's effective because he means it. Padalecki is at his best when they give him something of significance to work with, they should do it more often. And hey lookee there, Dean agreed. ::sigh:: But, I mean... what about... all that hard... all those five minutes you... I just.... what about the box? You know, the kickass piece of craftsmanship that, I would be remiss if I didn't remind us all -----

Is. Made. Out. Of. Trash. Cans.

Okay, that was largely uneventful, given the content. It's weird - the content means I shouldn't feel "meh", but I'm "meh". Opening scene by far the best, and again, set design and cinematography get high-fives throughout. See ya next week - that preview looked encouraging.

[because-its-important]

what’s the most annoying question to ask a nun* in 1967?

tl;dr - In 1967, a very long survey was administered to nearly 140,000 American women in Catholic ministry. I wrote this script, which makes the survey data work-ready and satisfies a very silly initial inquiry: Which survey question did the sisters find most annoying?

* The study participants are never referred to as nuns, so I kind of suspect that not all sisters are nuns, but I couldn't find a definitive answer about this during a brief search. 'Nun' seemed like an efficient shorthand for purposes of an already long title, but if this is wrong please holler at me!

During my first week at Recurse I made a quick game using a new language and a new toolset. Making a game on my own had been a long-running item on my list of arbitrary-but-personally-meaningful goals, so being able to cross it off felt pretty good! 

Another such goal I’ve had for a while goes something like this: “Develop the skills to be able to find a compelling data set, ask some questions, and share the results.” As such, I spent last week familiarizing myself with Python 🐍, selecting a fun dataset, prepping it for analysis, and indulging my curiosity.

the process

On recommendation from Robert Schuessler, another Recurser in my batch, I read through the first ten chapters in Python Crash Course and did the data analysis project. This section takes you through comparing time series data using weather reports for two different locations, then through plotting country populations on a world map.

During data analysis study group, Robert suggested that we find a few datasets and write scripts to get them ready to work with as a sample starter-pack for the group. Jeremy Singer-Vines’ collection of esoteric datasets, Data Is Plural, came to mind immediately. I was super excited to finally have an excuse to pour through it and eagerly set about picking a real mixed bag of 6 different data sets.

One of those datasets was The Sister Survey, a huge, one-of-its-kind collection of data on the opinions of American Catholic sisters about religious life. When I read the first question, I was hooked. 

“It seems to me that all our concepts of God and His activity are to some degree historically and culturally conditioned, and therefore we must always be open to new ways of approaching Him.” 

I decided I wanted to start with this survey and spend enough time with it to answer at least one easy question. A quick skim of the Questions and Responses file showed that of the multiple choice answer options, a recurring one was: “The statement is so annoying to me that I cannot answer.” 

I thought this was a pretty funny option, especially given that participants were already tolerant enough to take such an enormous survey! How many questions can one answer before any question is too annoying to answer? 🤔 I decided it’d be fairly simple to find the most annoying question, so I started there. 

I discovered pretty quickly that while the survey responses are in a large yet blessedly simple csv, the file with the question and answers key is just a big ole plain text. My solution was to regex through every line in the txt file and build out a survey_key dict that holds the question text and another dict of the set of possible answers for each question. This works pretty well, though I’ve spotted at least one instance where the txt file is inconsistently formatted and therefore breaks answer retrieval.

Next, I ran over each question in the survey, counted how many responses include the phrase “so annoying” and selected the question with the highest count of matching responses.

the most annoying question

Turns out it’s this one! The survey asks participants to indicate whether they agree or disagree with the following statement:

“Christian virginity goes all the way along a road on which marriage stops half way.”

3702 sisters (3%) responded that they found the statement too annoying to answer. The most popular answer was No at 56% of respondents. 

I’m not really sure how to interpret this question! So far I have two running theories about the responses:

The survey participants were also confused and boy, being confused is annoying!

The sisters generally weren’t down for claiming superiority over other women on the basis of their marital-sexual status.

Both of these interpretations align suspiciously well with my own opinions on the matter, though, so, ymmv.

9x speed improvement in one lil refactor

The first time I ran a working version of the full script it took around 27 minutes. 

I didn’t (still don’t) have the experience to know if this is fast or slow for the size of the dataset, but I did figure that it was worth making at least one attempt to speed up. Half an hour is a long time to wait for a punchline!

As you can see in this commit, I originally had a function called unify that rewrote the answers in the survey from the floats which they'd initially been stored as, to plain text returned from the survey_key. I figured that it made sense to build a dataframe with the complete info, then perform my queries against that dataframe alone. 

However, the script was spending over 80% of its time in this function, which I knew from aggressively outputting the script’s progress and timing it. I also knew that I didn’t strictly need to be doing any answer rewriting at all. So, I spent a little while refactoring find_the_most_annoying_question to use a new function, get_answer_text, which returns the descriptive answer text when passed the answer key and its question. This shaved 9 lines (roughly 12%) off my entire script.

Upon running the script post-refactor, I knew right away that this approach was much, much faster - but I still wasn’t prepared when it finished after only 3 minutes! And since I knew between one and two of those minutes were spent downloading the initial csv alone, that meant I’d effectively neutralized the most egregious time hog in the script. 👍

I still don’t know exactly why this is so much more efficient. The best explanation I have right now is “welp, writing data must be much more expensive than comparing it!” Perhaps this Nand2Tetris course I’ll be starting this week will help me better articulate these sorts of things.

flourishes 💚💛💜

Working on a script that takes forever to run foments at least two desires:

to know what the script is doing Right Now

to spruce the place up a bit

I added an otherwise unnecessary index while running over all the questions in the survey so that I could use it to cycle through a small set of characters. Last week I wrote in my mini-RC blog, "Find out wtf modulo is good for." Well, well, well.

Here’s what my script looks like when it’s iterating over each question in the survey:

I justified my vanity with the (true!) fact that it is easier to work in a friendly-feeling environment.

Plus, this was good excuse to play with constructing emojis dynamically. I thought I’d find a rainbow of hearts with sequential unicode ids, but it turns out that ❤️ 💙 and 🖤 all have very different values. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

the data set

One of the central joys of working with this dataset has been having cause to learn some history that I’d otherwise never be exposed to. Here’s a rundown of some interesting things I learned:

This dataset was only made accessible in October this year. The effort to digitize and publicly release The Sister Survey was spearheaded by Helen Hockx-Yu, Notre Dame’s Program Manager for Digital Product Access and Dissemination, and Charles Lamb, a senior archivist at Notre Dame. After attending one of her forums on digital preservation, Lamb approached Hockx-Yu with a dataset he thought “would generate enormous scholarly interest but was not publicly accessible.”

Previously, the data had been stored on “21 magnetic tapes dating from 1966 to 1990” (Ibid) and an enormous amount of work went into making it usable. This included both transferring the raw data from the tapes, but also deciphering it once it’d been translated into a digital form.

The timing of the original survey in 1967 was not arbitrary: it was a response to the Second Vatican Council (Vatican II). Vatican II was a Big Deal! Half a century later, it remains the most recent Catholic council of its magnitude. For example, before Vatican II, mass was delivered in Latin by a priest who faced away from his congregation and Catholics were forbidden from attending Protestant services or reading from a Protestant Bible. Vatican II decreed that mass should be more participatory and conducted in the vernacular, that women should be allowed into roles as “readers, lectors, and Eucharistic ministers,” and that the Jewish people should be considered as “brothers and sisters under the same God” (Ibid).

The survey’s author, Marie Augusta Neal, SND, dedicated her life of scholarship towards studying the “sources of values and attitudes towards change” (Ibid)  among religious figures. A primary criticism of the survey was that Neal’s questions were leading, and in particular, leading respondents towards greater political activation. ✊

As someone with next to zero conception of religious history, working with this dataset was a way to expand my knowledge in a few directons all at once. Pretty pumped to keep developing my working-with-data skills.

[marvelandponder]

I ❤ Comics

Because I’m so incredibly creative, this month of Year of the Pony has been all about lurve. All kinds of the stuff! Self-love, romantic love, familial love, and, of course, some good ol’ fashioned friendship/platonic love.

But, we all know there’s one love to rule them all: dorky/fanatic love!

The obsessions and ideas that rule our hearts and, in MLP’s case, drive us ponies. 

As much as I don’t want to take all this too seriously, this kind of love really is something special. For many of us, it’s the reason characters stick with us for so long, through any kind of mood you can imagine. It’s why we get lost in fantastical worlds on our screens and pages, and come back feeling like we’ll never forget the adventure we went on. It’s common ground to socialize in if we wish, or a quiet comfort that yours and yours alone. 

These things mean so much to us that it becomes a part of our identity. I’m a Brony, I’m a Rainbow Dash fan, I’m a this that or the other. We want people to see us for things we love because we’re just that proud of them. So long as there’s a healthy dose of perspective in the mix, I think that’s a good thing.

And one of the nerdiest, if not the nerdiest MLP topics I could think of to geek out over is the official IDW comics (the Enterplay trading cards, Star Trek cast members voice-acting for the show, and upcoming table-top RPG, Tails of Equestria, obviously deserve some honourable mentions here, but the comics just gave me more to talk about on a technical level)!

I figured the best way to go about this would be to go by artist (sorry colorists, letterers, and editors; you’re necessary and appreciated but apparently not glamorous). Last month, when we dove a little into Design and Animation, I didn’t really get to talk about the teams behind the work---which is mostly because MLP is a script-driven show as opposed to a storyboard-driven show, so the same animation teams and the same style goes into every episode (unlike Steven Universe, for example, which is ‘board-driven)---but here, who’s working on a comic makes a massive impact on how it’ll turn out.

With that said, we’ll stick to the most reoccurring artists (and gloss over the writers to save on time); if you’re ever curious, you can check out this page on the wiki for a full list on who did what, but I really ramble on too much as it is. 

Artists 

Here’s a big name! Andy Price, the man with the shadows and long, bendy pones. Price excels a quite a lot in terms of expression, and I think it’s because he adds such a sense of drama to these characters without taking away the cuteness or light-hearted personalities we’ve come to love. 

If anything, he’s gotten to add personality, especially to characters like Celestia and Luna who express their emotion much less visually in the show. Just take a gander at the sketches he gives out at conventions!

And as to the shadows, look at how involved the shading is in these inked panels:

Just look at how much of his panels are darkened, and just how much more dramatic it looks than it would with flat or lightly shaded colours.

Even a simple scene can benefit from Price’s style:

See where the shadow draws your eye (even when the shot is coloured)? To the sinister looking rat emphasizing the books, to Sunset, and to the shocked librarian who would know these books best. If you’ve read this issue, you know Sunset’s reading some books she’s really not supposed to---and in fact this is what leads to her downfall.

It’s a simple panel, there’s not even a lot of dialogue on the finished product, but you can tell Price uses shadows to compose his shots in a way that tells the story visually. 

Also, a word on page layout (this isn’t necessarily exclusive to Price, but since we’re talking about layout in terms of one panel...):

This is one of those things that I had a hard time finding a place for in this post that I would kick myself for if I didn’t talk about. It’s something exclusive to the medium and something that’s extremely impactful (as comic fans know).

It’s the flow of the page. How your eye moves from one panel to the next, and how different movements are expressed.

Price is one of the many MLP comic artists who do this effectively. In the first example there, you can see how the emotion shifts as we go down the page, how Celestia’s mane both transitions us into the next panel, and seems to hide her reservations from Sombra, Luna, and Starswirl.

And in the next example, there’s this wonderful transition mid-panel at the bottom there that takes us from the interior of the train to an exterior shot outside of it for Applejack’s final line of the scene.

It’s things like this (and even the layout of the word-bubbles, because those take a surprising amount of consideration to place in a panel) that shows you the artistry and thought behind these comics, and Price’s art in particular.

A personal favourite of mine, for sure.

What’s special about Amy Mebberson’s art-style is how it’s tweaked just so from the show, but certainly stands on its own as it draws emphasis to the roundness of these designs.

You’ll probably notice the simplicity of Mebberson’s designs, especially compared to someone like Price, but look how that works to her advantage:

Check out how close to the show it is, but just a touch rounder. Cute, right? The eyes are cartoonishly big, the heads closer to perfect circles than we normally see even in a 3/4 angle shot, it just brings your attention to how sweet these characters are.

Then there’s the fact that her work will often be coloured with a really soft, soothing texture to boot:

That powdery softness only makes these ponies cuter---and here I thought they had laws against that kind of thing!

Another awesome big player!

The thing about Hickey’s art is that it’s often coloured so that the manes are especially shiny, making the characters draw focus and pop off the page.

And even when things aren’t especially shiny, she still often finds ways to use the background to emphasize the characters:

(Underrated moment in the comics award might have to go to this, by the way)

It’s a very simple snowy scene, but that matches the tone so expertly, so isolating Applejack, her breath, and the snow is an excellent choice to get the emotion across.

And when things are glossy, it strikes me how energetic the characters can still look.

When things look this polished, the worry tends to be that you might make the characters look stiffer, but Hickey’s style strikes such a great balance between polish and flexibility.

This art style comes with its pros and cons, in my opinion, but it can still serve MLP pretty well. Garbowska’s art is often coloured as if with coloured pencils, which gives everything a really soft, soothing finish, and in addition can make for some pretty cute pones.

The downside is two-fold: The characters can seem like they all have Same Face syndrome, if you know what I mean; and the ponies are often posed in needlessly anthropomorphic poses (we’ve certainly seen a few more human-like poses throughout the series---yes, Lyra, we love you, you oddball---but there are some poses that just seem uncomfortable and [to use a slightly redundant word] unnatural for them to want to be in).

Still most definitely a great part of the team, just with a few quirks that come along with the sweetness.

Welp. Guess I couldn’t steer clear of controversy entirely. Jay Fosgitt’s art style in and of itself is divisive among fans---like, really divisive.

The reason being the drastically different shape to everything. Compare a Fosgitt head to a Mebberson head, for instance, and you’ll see there’s a lot more emphasis on the foreheads and cheeks than on the muzzle or an overall roundness.

It’s a very distinct style that comes with its advantages and disadvantages. Fosgitt’s not afraid not go for some extreme expressions, for instance, and that can really serve the story well in chaotic and/or comedic situations, but he’s also had that same problem of putting ponies on their hind-legs when it doesn’t seem organic for them to do so, and combined with the proportions exaggerated the way they are (like sometimes I don’t know how those necks keep their heads up), that can make for an off-putting panel or two.

It’s definitely cartoony. I’ve never been able to place exactly what artstyle it reminds me of, but cartoony is a good word. It’s grown on me, personally, especially considering the improvement from issue to issue, but I thought I’d mention this never-ending debate so you could make up your own mind.

Tony Fleecs is a great addition to the team. He’ll often give the eyes a point or just a different shape, which takes some of the cartoonishness out, but still allows for some great expressions in a way we don’t normally get to see, with our bulbous-eyed characters.

It can especially work if he’s trying to capture something menacing:

So, I think he’s among the better ones.

On the other hand, there have been a few times Fleecs’s art has lacked depth solely because of how things are shaded, like here (I can obviously tell where everyone is in relation to each other, but it’s flatter than if there had been some shadows to it):

But overall that feels more like a nitpick.

Now, we’d be here all day if I started going into all the cover artists (as much as we appreciate their work), but there’s one in particular that’s done enough that I’d feel remiss leaving her out.

Sara Richard is a good name to know because once you know it, you’ll always be able to point out her art. She’s got some of the only traditional art in our little roster, and it’s often got some gorgeous swirls. So many swirls.

If I wanted to be crass, I could call it colour and swirl porn... so I will. It’s colour and swirl porn, and I love it.

Writers

To preface this section, I’d like to take a moment to steal a catchphrase from the ever insightful MovieBob, previously of Escapist fame: comics are weird.

Really, even the best and brightest of the medium will occasionally have some really out there arcs or issues. For every intellectually stimulating, deeply meaningful story you can tell with these characters, there’s a silly rendition of them that’s just... odd. The same Batman who comes to grips with the death of his second ward, Jason Todd, is the same one who later owns a Batcow, thanks to his son Damien.

Yes, Batcow is canon.

So, if genre-defining superhero comics have been known to divulge into stranger stories from time to time, it absolutely follows that we’d see the same from colourful, pony-based children’s comics. Basically, that shark-jumping weirdness just... comes with the medium.

You can make all sorts of arguments about the origins of that oddness---the creative freedom available, attention-grabbing to boost readership, the Comics Code Authority heavily censoring violence and delinquent behavior in the 50s and 60s which forced writers to come up with tamer but also more creative stories, etc---but one thing is clear, if you’ve noticed some interesting choices mixed in there, it might just be a comic book thing.

But, then again, there are also issues that go way more in depth than you would think!

In particular, I have to make mention of my absolute favourite arc (I never claimed to be unbiased): Reflections. For the details, the comedy the lore, the immaculate world-building, and the emotions---but most of all the character-building.

Starswirl is an absolute delight, the good King Sombra breaks your heart, Twilight faces exactly what I wanted her to face once she became a princess, and the Princesses and their sisterhood get to be developed even more here than they have been in the show (especially Celestia; here’s hoping season seven really will break that streak).

Okay, example time. 

Here’s a detail that was just pointed out to me recently that really nails all of this on the head (and granted, I don’t know whether this came from its writer Katie Cook, or the artist Andy Price, but if nothing else it shows you what they can do together):

Two silent frames that tell us so, so much. 

It’s a simple idea, that these parallel universes have developed in different ways, but that tells us so much about why Equestria’s technology is the way it is. Having the power to jump to more technologically advanced universes has allowed our Equestria to be as anachronistic as it has been---to have arcade machines and silent movie theaters, but not automobiles or light bulbs in common use.

But this is what the comics can do: contextualize. 

Take characters and worlds we love and expand on them in new lights. Some weird, strange, or just cute for the sake of being cute, but some more involved and some even inspired.

The comics, overall, can be pretty divisive in this fandom. There are fans who frequent them for every new issue, and those who have sworn off them entirely. Artists and writers we revere and some we outright revile. But when all is said and done, being able to take on this new perspective of MLP in an entirely different medium is something I for one really appreciate---especially when it’s this good.

Here’s some more pony analysis for you! The whole compilation post here, or three of the latest/most relevant, just for you:

EMLP: Design & Animation, Pinkie Pie’s Editorial, and Top 10 Cutest Families

Year of the Pony

Header Image and Art Wouldn’t be Possible Without...

Luna and Celestia by dSana Elements of Harmony by SpiritofthwWolf Elements of Harmony by TechRainbow

There’s of course all those great comic artists and writers to go check out, but aside from the official art in this post, there’s some hard-working fan-artists who made some stellar vectors! Check ‘em out!

Love Me Some Comic Books

[courage-a-word-of-justice]

Blue Exorcist: Kyoto Saga 5 | SGRS: Sukeroku Futatabi-hen 5 | Nanbaka 18 | ACCA 4 | Classicaloid 17 | Morose Mononokean 1 - 2

The idea from now on: Once all 2016 shows are done (rewatches or not), expect the 2016 ranking.

Blue Exorcist: Kyoto Saga 5

You could see Shura’s pink phone in her back pocket. Hopefully, she doesn’t bum dial anyone…

One of the problems of this (part of the) show is its heavy reliance on flashbacks, since the original series was in 2011 (or 12?).

That’s what happens when you have an impulsive guy like Rin, I guess. Custody. (Partially joking.) Sometimes a pep talk is all you need to get back up though.

I can make out some of the hiragana and (maybe?) a minami (south), but otherwise I’m pretty lost on that cursive script too.

With a proper look at the right side of the letter, I can indeed make out “Okumura Rin”.

I just realised – Torako (tiger child) and Tatsuma (judging by the “tatsu”, it likely has something to do with dragons). It’s tiger vs dragon!

How is this letter even relevant to the current day, aside from the tale of Ryuji?

You subbers make me sic! (LOL.) The word is “disastrous” – remember that.

Showa Genroku Rakugo Shinjuu: Sukeroku Futatabi-hen 5

Whoa. Sukeroku’s eyes were red!

I thought it was Yakumo’s ashtray Yota was talking about. Turns out it’s his bento.

Ah, the magic of technology. Yota knows it.

The Amakentei from season 1, episode 1. It’s still here after all these years.

There’s a creepy picture of a man in the back. Probably a photo.

Noxy stereo, LOL.

Note for later: Kajikazawa was the name of the story Yakumo did when he got enraged by Yota.

I thought Yakumo would be furious about the carp. Turns out he’s not. The Yakumo name bit made me laugh because that’s such a Yota thing to do.

“Atashi”? Did I hear Yota say “atashi”?

Hangon-ko is so spellbinding…

Hikobayuru is beautiful as always.

I-I’m crying right now. The preview basically is implying Yakumo’s…dead.

Nanbaka 18

Was that hit really that hard?

I think they skipped a line of the subs?

Oh, “the tall guy” is Qi.

What’s the name of this black/blue haired guy in the first place?

…but the staff was broken before…?

Ruka is apparently a kappa according to earlier comments, so him in the water makes sense somewhat.

Wow. Futamata-sensei really likes Chinese stuff.

Strangely, Uno has a point.

The Gojyousan underground cell. Of course it had to be called after Ruka. Plus the goroawase would definitely mean it has 5 levels.

How did Uno identify Trois and Honey by one middle finger? The nail polish and style of the nails, I guess.

*cue dramatic music* It’s a cliffhanger! (Dangit.)

ACCA 4

Walnut…cookies? Can’t tell what that “walnut” really is since it only appears for a second.

Seriously, who is Nino calling?

I think a captain’s hat like the one that guy was wearing makes people look silly.

There’s a lot of English in this theme song. Except for the autotune, the song suits this show perfectly.

I only just realised Jean has some buttons shaped like the letter H.

Man, having the freedom to decide your own schedule is nice.

Pentagonal table, eh? Not even “Knights of the Round Cross” exist here?

Jazz sounds and xylophones really suit this show.

Satsuei? I forgot what that means. Update: It means “to take a picture of someone”, although it appears to be a noun.

There’s even ACCA desktop wallpapers. I want one.

Interesting to note Beurre uses the word kuni (country) for Suitsu, which was subbed as “place” (“It’s a wonderful place!”). This just shows exactly how much autonomy there is for ACCA’s districts.

I don’t think I questioned it yet, but why is this guy called Biscuit? By the audio, it sounds like he’s called “Bisuke” and not “Bisuketto”.

Keitai denwa = mobile phone.

It’s like the French Revolution. Not that I’ve studied anything on that revolution, but eh. Coldplay’s Liberty Leading the People and all that.

Gag rule. I didn’t know what it meant specifically, but it kind of explained itself.

Jean has such a baby face and gangly neck that it’s easy to think he’s an example of what TV Tropes call “Noodle People”.

Classicaloid 17

I think the word Motz uses is oishii, but I’ve never seen it translated as “delish!” before.

It’s grilled mikan, technically. Didn’t I say that last time?

I got no Google hits on “yaki mikan” or “grilled mikan” that were relevant.

Welp, this seems to be set in Japanese winter. Or else you wouldn’t be seeing mikan (or colds) at all.

Did Cho-chan just do an extensive burn on Sousuke? That’s gotta hurt!

The hallways in blue light at that angle…it’s kinda creepy, due to what the staff put in the next ep preview…I’m actually so scared, I have a lump in my throat…

How did you communicate with Hasshie, Cho-chan? *laughs anyway*

The fact the subs go (verb verber verbing verb!) is hilarious.

It’s a flippin’ zombie apocalypse! I tried to do one of those (not as crazy as this) in one of my stories and needless to say, I utterly failed! *weeps* *stops weeping* Well, back to work.

What would Cho-chan say if he got infected?

Aloe vera? (Why and how did I know that pot contained aloe vera?)

What? Okay, that’s (Schu and Beethes having citrus heads) just plain weird.

O-Okay. So they basically made “Thriller” to the tune of a march…?! *bursts out laughing* That’s the most ridiculous they’ve gotten so far. I don’t love it because it made me sick to the stomach, but honestly, that’s the most original idea I’ve seen in ages!

The prospect of a pineapple zombie invasion though…urgh. I do not want.

I see no Google hints whatsoever about mikan being grown in Turkey.

Wasn’t it Einstein who said “success is 1% talent and 99% perspiration” or something like that?

(Morose Mononokean ep 1)

Why did I pick this show, you ask? It’s pretty obvious, right? It’s appealing to the eyes.

There’s something extremely iyashikei about this show, even if it’s also a supernatural show.

Why is no one wearing yellow except Ashiya?

…and the ol’ “problem with buttshots” comes right back from Bungou Stray Dogs. What is it with people and butts?

“I can’t stand it!” – Considering you’re not able to stand, it’s pretty obvious, Ashiya.

Why a giant fuzzball acts like a dog? Beats me.

My allegiance for the lil’ fuzzball started from episode 1, as you can probably tell. One episode is all I need sometimes.

“…to collect your debt.”

Hanae is a feminine name, normally.

His face when he saw that it was Abeno was…hilarious!

Is that youkai a (subtle) 4th wall breaker?

The ED is so pretty. It evolves too, which must be a pain in the butt for the animators but it’s pleasing to the eyes.

(ep 2)

“I can totally see them now.” – Okay, not many boys speak like that. Girls, maybe, but boys? No. (That is, if we’re talking about the phase where suddenly speech is littered with at least 20% more “like”s than usual.)

Of course, nobody questions the spraying of spontaneous flowers in the OP.

ESP doesn’t do that.

Being possessed by mutant pine cones really does take its toll on Ashiya.

Cyclops pine cones? Probably creepy if they’re all staring at once.

Turtle emblem, even though the maker is a newt.

Mutant pine cones never looked so adorable, especially when picked up by the “scruff of the neck”. Abeno basically tossed the little guy he held.

Doesn’t make much difference regardless of if you call the parasite shrub “incurable disease” or “curse”.

Notice how formal both Abeno and the big Scree are.

It’s not quite explained how the Screes learnt the guys’ names.

[wench-and-jezebel]

Howl’s Moving Castle Reaction:

Jezebel (@typicalopposite) reacts [with occasional asides by Wench (@scripted-downfall)]

Wench’s Note: the first half of this was reacting to the original.  About halfway through, we switched to the English dub.  We didn’t mark it though, so… fun ‘lil guessing game :)

Second Wench's Note: Also, the book comes up quite a bit and, while I've read the book before, it was a longggg time ago. If there are any false statements... apologies. Feel free to let me know (politely)!

– – –

Welp… Title already makes sense

Mood lady! I hate hats  *sigh*  I don’t have the right head shape

She just looks so grumpy

How did she not see that guard to begin with?  

Oh shit blobs!  Tf?

Oooo he flies

Ye this is normal… Just walking on air… As one does

No– No one– NO ONE SAW THIS???  Like… THEY WERE JUST FLYING  [He probably has some kind of glamor up tbf.  Or he just… Doesn't care.]   ☠️☠️☠️☠️  [He's a bit of a show-off, tbh]  I would be too tbf if I could just fecking fly

The fucking men just be popping up everywhere

Blobssss  [Blobs]

Wait she’s the old lady right?  [Ma'am, I say nada]

Le gasp

Well… damn

Bruh.  

BRUH!  SEE IF I WOULD HAVE WAITED TWO SECONDS!!  EVERYTIMEEEEEE!!!

I feel ya, Sophie, I feellll yaaaaa

She is handling this…. Surprisingly well  [Perks of magical realism, tbh; they know wizards exist, and they know abt the witch, and-]  Fair!

Oh noooo!

☠️☠️☠️☠️ A 90 year old … You don’t say

Poor Sophie 🥺🥺🥺

MOOOOD SOPHIE!!!  ISS ME. And my kids are the witch 😭 they made me old

Ma’am… you’re old. Maybe hiking a mountain is not a good idea  [She gotta go on her trademark Studio Ghibli quest]

Le gasp! A scurrrcrow

[Did you see what he's carrying]  Well damn 🥺  [Man Scarecrow brought her a cane]  That’s wholesome

“Can you bring me a house…” And he left… Scarecrow: I gotchu ol lady

[He knows where to find her one… He done brought her a house]  😭😭😭

IT’S GONNA SIT ON HER

Oh, or not 🤣

Jumppppp Sophie

[Turnip-Head brought her her shawl :)]  💕💕💕 I love him  [You gonna love the next anthropomorphic being more]

Ooooo I see fire 🙂

[In case this hasn't registered, btw... she just invaded a wizard's home.  His very feared castle.  And sat down.  And stoked the fire.]  ☠️☠️☠️ Fair

Calcifer! (Casifer 🤔😂)

Ooop she ded  [This really is you… She fell asleep mid-conversation]  ☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️  MOOOD SOPHIEEEEE!  I feel ya boo! I feel ya

Ooooo that noooseee

A child 

I sat down and cracked like that ☠️☠️☠️ I feel like I’m resonating with this movie in the wrong way 😭☠️🤣  [Then the moral will resonate too]  I even have a shawl like that ☠️ [That... is not the moral]

So they are afraid of him but he’s not bad  [They are afraid of the Wizard Howl, yes.  BUT.  As I think is clear, they're not clear on who, exactly, Howl is]  Ahhh! I see.  Makes sense  [If you saw, Markl just answered messages for both Wizards Jenkins and Pendragon]

Giant house comes creeping down the road… I’d be scurrrd too… but I’m guessing a bit thing is not to judge by appearances

Oh damn

[Pay attention to Calcifer being cute]  I’m a DeMon…

The kids like… shit all I had to do was lay a pan on him

OH HE’SSSS HOWL  [!!!]  LE GASPPP

[Calcifer monch on eggshells :)]  THE NOISEEEE  💕💕💕💕😭😭😭🤣🤣🤣🤣  Meh oi eh

Imma eat my steak like that! If I stop responding … Hubby killed me (Kidding)

[Did I mention Sophie is just amazing?  She legit just invaded a scary wizard's house... and told him it was filthy... to his face]  ☠️☠️☠️🤣🤣🤣  Very true

Ooooof

Just know! Now my husband’s gonna expect me to watch anime in… not English… with him. And I full blame you 😤  [GOOD]  My brain be struggling to do it all [Get good]

Ancient sorcery! The worst kind

[Calcifer get bacon :)]  Me meh mi meh

[Dang, Sophie, be nice.  Calcifer told you that you couldn't talk about it alksdfj]  Women! They never listen 🤣

Oh shit! Ok lady strength

["A witch rages within"  Poor Calcifer :(]  Poor Calcifer indeed

He fly again

Grumpy

Markl’s too cute  [Buddy, whatchu hiding?]  Also true

Uh oh.  He ain’t there to not let her get carried away

Oh SHIT IT’S THE BOYS BATHROOM

[He's so cute :)]

SCARECROW  [He's called Turnip, the Turnip-Head actually. According to Sophie.]

BRUH That seems not sturdy  [Ma'am, stop overthinking the magical castle]  Shhhh  [No]

Ahhh I seee

🥺🥺🥺  Wench this better have a happy ending ‘cause, minus the curse, it’s too happy  [Hmph.  I say nothing]  *opens google* try me Wench  [You can't multitask that much and we both know it]  *tells husband to open google* TRY ME — er, US — Wench

[Literally as we speak, you're missing that Howl is a bird]  Oh shit!  Howl is a bird!  [alkdsfjlakdf no shit]

Oh them toes

There is so much 😭😮‍💨  Sooo much happening

[You don't seem to have caught that she was young again]  I– I didn’t 😭  Is she young when she sleeps?  [She was young when he checked on her as she slept, yes.]  Bruh the witch is a biiiiitch! What kinda curse is thatttt  [I didn't say what was going on; I said it was what happened.  Shush and watch]

BLOB  [Blob]  BLOB

“AHHHHH!!!”  [You remember your prediction about Markl not paying attention when she went cleaning?]  YES- OH NOOOOO  [There ya go… I love this lil drama queen]

P- poor ☠️☠️☠️ poor howl  [And btw… when I say drama queen… ]  Buddy  [...I mean DRAMA QUEEN]  Budddy!!!!  [Man's calling on the Spirits of Darkness because of his hair dye]  ☠️☠️☠️☠️  ACk

Oooop- she’s looking younger! SO CONFUSING

[Turnip-Head brought her an umbrellaaaaaaa]

BUDDDY  [Did I mention “drama queen”?] 

Ah the rain too

Booty ☠️  [Ma'am, mind out of the gutter]  It wasn’t in the gutter.  It was on the screennnn!  [Bitch-]

[His room be prettyyyyy]  It issss.  It’s a lot though

[btw, this is the English dub for that conversation: (Sophie): "Howl, why is the Witch of the Waste trying to hunt you down?" (Howl): "She was once quite beautiful, so I decided to pursue her.  Then I realied she wasn’t, so, as usual, I ran away." For information purposes]

Hmmm, the sigh

[His hair is magical]  *Simultaneously* His hairrrr tho  [I want it]

Ooop-

THE FUCK IS THIS DOG?!?!  [I say nothingggg]  Full Metal Alchemist vibessss

OH GOSH THIS WOMAN

["Thanks to him, I've become a cleaning lady"  Bitch, that was either the Witch's fault or your own decision; you just kinda... announced it to Howl]  ☠️☠️☠️☠️  Right?!

Blobbbssss  [Blobs go bye-bye]  Blobs blobbed

Poor dog [*simultaneously* Poor pupper]  Is struggling  [SBC]  He’s like halpppp

Tf [Who carries a dog like that tho 😭]

The guardsss

I’m dying.  Well, actually THEY are dying.  Im laughing.  

That’s just not normal

[SHE SAID WENCH!  SHE USED MY NAME IN VAIN!]  ☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️

That would be me tho… Im tired for them  *sigh*

[Ma'am be lying to the Witch of the Wastes]

Ooooooof  [Feels bad.  Like... she's awful but also :(]

She is saying she is his mother? …  [Yeah, that's their strategy.  Well, Howl's strategy]  Ackles movie vibessss  [Ma'am, shush]  I can’t think of the name  [Devour.  But also no]  My brain has too many tabs open

Well damn  [:(]

[Sophie is awesome]  YESSS  [The pupper's eyes tho alkdsjf]

She be getting younger  

Ooop- Fangirl  [The Witch is also pathetically adorable alksdjf]

Oooop I might understand the curse now

[Oof- That bluff went badly]  ☠️☠️

Howl!

WHATS HAPPENING!  [That was the King.  The current plotline is that the King is demanding Howl (as Howl, as Jenkins, and as Pendragon) report for, essentially, a magical draft to fight in the war.  (This is magical realism, so magic is kinda commonplace.)  The first version of the King has been revealed to be Howl trying to bluff his way out of the war without breaking his oath to report when needed.  This got broken because a) she knew who he was already but b) the real King walked in and was like.  Hey.  Good?]  Yes! 🙂 thank you lool!

The dark hair’s nice tho  [I knowwwwww]  Noooo the witch ☠️☠️

This shit is crazyyyyyy  [Welcome to Studio Ghibli]  Fucking animeeeeee  [I'm now making you watch Spirited Away btw]

[Parallels to their first meetinggggg]  True lol

Ooooo scurrryy

They fly  [Many times]

Dog said he's out too

Oooo such a scurry demon... gets summoned with the heart  [OH SHIT THE MEANING TO THAT!!!  I'll explain later]

The fucking witch in the back thooo…  Just smiles

Ma'am, you know she's not his mom... stahp  [You really were scarred by Devour, huh?]  Yes

[They destroying his door :(]

[Markllllll  He’s so cute]

Bruh [Poor Calcifer :(]  The house just ate them.  I’m ded

That’s adorable…  Also, she younger!   Not young, but younger

So, is emotion a factor?

Ooooop-  She very young.  [Yup, even when awake]  She young and he's a bird… Ladyhawke vibes

🥺  [He has a nest]

[BRUH LKDSJF;LAKDSJF THAT WAS BATMAN.  Like, I knew English version was Christian Bale, but that was Batman]  It is loool… except bird man

Wait, Calcifer sounds familiar too  [He's Mike Wazowski, I think.  iirc]  Le gasp!

Double le gasp!  My emojis!  I cannot use them!

The- The house.  Has.  A tongue.

[BRUH THE MEANING!  Okay, I’ll explain shit later.]

So is she just.... good now?  [Her deal with the demon possessing her was broken… So kinda]  Ahhh

Sir!  He's so happy!  [I love him in this scene.  He's pretty :)]

THIS!  I love this scene! 

Jumpscare

Well damn

But also like… If the witch that cursed Sophie is now kinda irrelevant, how does the curse get broken?

[He made her her own shop :)]

Ooop- The voice changes are giving me whiplash  [It's helping you keep track of her age tho]

BUT HOW DOES THE CURSE GET BROKEN?!  [Bitch, just watch… HE MADE HER A WHOLE LOCATION OKAY PAY ATTENTION TO THE SWEETNESS]  I AMMM 💕💕😭😭

And young again

Kay 😍

His fucking hair length changes as much as her voice.  And appearance  [IT'S ALL MAGIC; JUST SHUSH]

[This be concerning buddy.  It feels like giving away your possessionssss]  😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢  (I found the emojis)  [Did I mention that all of my faves are apparently concerningly risky with themselves]  Maam your type... is concerning  [Shhhh.  I'm sure it doesn't mean anything]  Mhhmmmn

[Howl, buddy.  You won't fight in the war, but you just... fought in the war.]

Ooooop-

Tf???  Flying tadpoles  [The entities in these films are awesomely weird okay?  Like These Dudes (below)]  Awwwwww

Sophie, why are you pedaling, ma’am

Awwww

[ALSKDJF;LSAKFDJ THE MEANING!!!  Remind me to explain]  Ok lol

She gonna die… She's become too likable.  *Sighhhh*

Oh damn I thought they were sisters 💀  [I thought they were.  I think they were in the book.  It might be a nickname]  They were in the other verison

[She better not have hurt Calcifer :(  I forget if she did but.]

Le gasp  Well DAMN!  The bitch!  [I think her husband was a hostage, ma'am]  Aaaand? hmph

Awwwwwwwwww my heart

Bruh  [Oh shit she does seem to have hurt Calcifer :(]  Her whole personality changed  [She lost the demon, woman, so no wonder]  Yeah, but she was being so nice. What changed?  I thought losing the demon made her nice  [Oh, I see... Just... file it under things to discuss in endpoint if not answered]  Ok lol

[Blobs]  Blobs

Ooooof they are gonna have strange babies  [Ma'am, he's not actually a bird]

["You're alive!"  Shades of Westley/Buttercup: "If you want I could fly!"]

[She just put the cigar out on his handddd  😭]  Right?!?!

Edddieeeeee vibeessssss [*simultaneously* EDDIE-CODED :(  Okay, actually.  Fuckkkkkkkk maybe not SPN fusion.  Maybe ST fusion.]  😭😭😭😭😭😭  [I saw the sign and it opened up my eyes]  Well fuck now that songs stuck in my head  [adslfjaldskfj good]

Oh shit  ["Looks like Howl's in trouble" My dear, when is he not?]

["I preferred him as a coward"  *sigh* Don't we all?  (That's Steve's "Don't be cute")] 😭😭😭 Stapppp I cantttt  [*This* one has a happy ending tho]

I'm soooooooo confused with the witch lady  [I’ll explain (I think)]

Oh shit  [Moving castle go bye bye :(]  😭😭😭😢 Welp  Encanto vibes  [KLJALKDSJFLAKSFDJ HOW DARE]

This movie has fucjing unlocked umpteen fic ideas  [I KNOW]

This girl is gonna get him ded  [I'm saying nothing]  Le Gasp!  (Also gaddamnnnn this tablet)

[Calcifer et her hair to be stronggggg.]  Noooo the pecs!  When he was lifting the wood  [What is it with fictional haircuts being so cool, f'real] I knowwwww

Oooop-

[Poor Howl :(]

Well damn  [There's so much symbolism I'm gonna cry]

Like.... Maybe it's just me but I would have let her burn  [asdflkjaldskfj]  🤷‍♀️

[Pupper still doing stuff]

Um.  “What if I killed Howl?” They BOTH told you it would.  I caught it even in a different language.  Wot do you meannnn?!  [Trueeee]  Also gotta love how she doesn't care she killed Calcifer just that she might have killed Howl  [alskdfj]

[This be Very Important btw]

He’s gotta pee lady

[Oh look it's the Supernatural season 8 finale]  ☠️☠️☠️

Oooop- [He monch the star]  The wheeze tho  [From him or the dog ☠️]  The dog ☠️☠️

["Find me in the future"  Remember how the first thing he said to her was "I've been looking everywhere for you?"  :)]  Yeasssss

[Howl be not looking so good]

Burujhhhhh them feettttt!  That was meant to be spelled bad ‘cause… damn

[These scenes were very different in the book, btw; tell you at endpoint]

That.  That was easier than expected.  ☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️

[Honestly, I still feel like SPN would work better, but I could do a ST one-shot from just that other scene]

[No fuckkkkk but the SPN vibes are killing me; explain later]

Awwwww  [Calcifer be so happy :)]

[Turnip saved them!]  Yusssss  [But he not responding :(]  Nooooooo

Ahhhhh… yussssss again!

[Ma'am, it's not the heart that’s so heavy; you're sitting on him ☠️]

Well damn

“Big boy”  [LAJSD;LFKJADF]

[Doggo betrayed evil witch woman :)]

The wheezing

New meaning to the phrase “Hot lips”

Awwwww

[Oh my god my head is killing me with the fic planning... I'ma be ranting later] Yesssss

– – –

Jezebel: OH SWEET IPHONE DISCORD I MISSED YIU

Wench: Your typing Has Not Improved 

Jezebel: YOU KJOWBWHAT? 🖕🏼

Wench: You prove my point  (For those not aware of the editing process, btw, I do a cursory spell/punctuation check as we go most times, as much as I can do without falling behind.  The above^ would be a lot more common if I didn’t.  Y’all are welcome!)  ANYWAY.  Endpoint

Jezebel: That was adorable!!! I may just rewatch fully in English ☠️☠️☠️  And by may… I will ☠️🤣🤣  Eventually

Wench: asldkjfalkdsfj

Jezebel: But the fic possibilities are endlessssss omg

Wench: TSCH!  Ma'am, that's reserved for not-endpoint-reaction!! No spoilers!

Jezebel: I knowwwww.  Was just saying!  But omg ok explain the bipolar witch please!  Cause the amount of things that gave me whiplash in this movie… Were a many

Wench: I mean, I think her personality was just… shifting. She'd lost the demon, so she wasn't as corrupted by power, but she was still questing for Howl's heart. I do think that her proximity to power restored her a bit to her earlier self (and when she was smoking the cigar she apparently got from Suliman), which is why you noticed her being a bit more her at times when she was near Howl… but it's all within her normal character

Jezebel: Ok fair!

Wench: As for the things I was saying I'd explain now, btw... They keep foreshadowing the reveal about his heart.  Like, there are blatant bits (e.g. her earlier note saying something along the lines of "You who swallowed a falling star, o' heartless man, your heart shall soon be mine.")  But there were smaller things.  Like the Witch being so focused on Calcifer, talking so regularly about "oh, what a pretty fire."  I'm sure it was partly because the fire *was* pretty, but when you know that she was questing for Howl's heart, it's got a second layer.

Jezebel: Ooooo! I thought it was just her being old and senile ☠️

Wench: Also, the heart reveal renders other things increasingly significant too.  Like the metaphors of the Witch trying to get at his heart, and it burning her when she tried... something something she tried to steal his heart and control it but it didn't work, whereas Sophie had been connecting with it from the very beginning. Or him telling Sophie that the way to get HIS RING to work and lead her home was to call out to Calcifer with her heart... Which was his heart... Connect the dots :)

Jezebel: Oooooooooh 💕💕💕🥺🥺

Wench: Also, an interesting thing... Like I said, the book is quite different.  It's one of the few adaptations, actually, that changes A Bunch about the original story but I just... can't be that mad about it.  Because the story isn't the same, but it's awesome anyway.  

Jezebel: Ooooh? Interesting :)

Wench: Yup!  And one such example is that they explicitly state what's going on with Sophie.  Sophie isn't just this ordinary girl. Or, well... She is, but she isn't.  She was a hatter, like in the film, and she usually talked to the hats.  It's explained that she would tell them what their owners would be like as she made them.  (One example is when she tells a hat that its owner would have a heart of gold and someone would fall in love with them for it)

Jezebel: That’s adorable thoooo

Wench: And whatever she said would come true.  But she was also highly determined to be the Eldest Daughter. Which means she'd stay at home, tend to the business, never ever ever seek any adventure, etc.  So she has this magic... and nonetheless sets about using it to have nothing happen to her ever, quite without knowing it.

Jezebel: Ack!  So the exact thing she doesn’t want is exactly what happens ☠️☠️🤣🤣

Wench: Precisely!  And that magic is the explanation for a lot of what goes on in the story.  It's why the scarecrow comes to life, for example.  And it's also the reason she's able to separate Howl/Calcifer without either dying.  In the book, she asks if she can separate them and Calcifer says that he thinks he'd die if anyone else did it, but he knows she's talked life into things before so, if anyone could do it, she could.  And she outright says "Have another thousand years" before pinching them apart so Calcifer will survive.

Jezebel: So the scarecrow’s not a prince in the book?

Wench: I don’t think so.  The scarecrow and the prince are two separate entities, and the prince has a far more gruesome fate.  I don’t fully remember enough to say more, but I’m pretty sure they’re separate.  She talks them both to life, though, so in that sense, it kinda works.

Jezebel: Ooooop! Well damn! I see!  Oh, and, as for endpoint… Ummmmm I have forgotten how to endpoint.  Halp!

Wench: Give thoughts.  Did you like it?

Jezebel: Ummm I LOVED it.   It was so gooooood!

Wench: Aight… Elaborate on that :) 

Jezebel: And cute and confusing sometimes but also sad and then happy.  Also why was he a bird man?  I think I missed that part

Wench: It was just one of his spells.  It helped him fight the largely air-based battle.  But it was an anthropomorphic spell, and he ran the risk of not recalling how to switch back each time he did it

Jezebel: Ohhhhh.  Ummmm… Did it ever explain Sophie’s cure being broken or was it ever broken?

Wench: Ah, right, so… complicated.  First off: the Witch's deal with the demon thing was basicallyyyyy that she got the power to cast curses but couldn't uncurse them.  Or at least, I think that's it, and that's how I've interpreted it.  So she couldn't change Sophie back.  I thinkkk, in large part, Sophie was eventually talking herself into the curse.  Like I said --- and as she's shown in the movie --- she's very doubtful and not-confident throughout the story… And she also had this magical power that let her control reality, within reason.  So, basically, she was expecting herself to be an old woman, and thus she was.  That's why she was young whenever she wasn't consciously focused on the fact that "oh, yeah, I'm old" (e.g. while she was asleep, when she'd woken up but was more focused on what was going on with Howl and his nest than what he was doing, etc).  And whenever she feels more confident/less like she's not worth much, the spell wanes further.  So, whenever the Markl calls her "family," whenever she's dwelling on love for Howl, etc.  And then, at the end, she's still got the silver hair because technically she's still cursed (or, at least, that's how I interpret it), but she's confident in who she is/where she's going/who she's with, so she's perpetually talking herself out of the curse.

Jezebel: Ahhh! Ok that makes sense! I was like…. Have they forgotten ma’am is cursed ☠️🤣

Wench: Also, bit of fun fact, parallel, etc…  Howl tells her, at the end, that her hair is like starlight.  And Calcifer was a falling star who was holding custody of his heart.  So Sophie at the end of the movie is the new bearer of his heart  😭

Jezebel: 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 Awwwwww

Wench: I love this movie alskdjflkasjfd

Jezebel: It is veryyyyy goooood

Wench: Any more to say for endpoint?

Jezebel: Honestly not that I can think of! But I did love it!! 💕💕💕💕😭😭😭

Wench: Aight... what's next on our react schedule, you think?

Jezebel: Hmmmmm 🤷🏻‍♀️ 🤣🤣

Wench: Bitch, I just sent the excel!  You don’t pick one, I will.  And you likely won’t like it.

Jezebel: 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 Ummmmm… DA?

Wench: Aight, folks, you heard her!  ‘Til then!