cowboy whump
Lassoed and dragged across the dirt via horse
Gagged with their own bandana
Shootouts!
Stranded in the middle of nowhere
Black hat trying on the cowboy's hat
Being forcibly lead by rope on a long trip, stumbling, falling, just waiting for a break
Forced to sleep in the barn with the animals
Their food being given to the horses or cows, forcing them to starve or eat something worse
Kicked by boots
Falling off their horse
Subjected to the elements while on a journey
Trampled by horses or cows
Kidnapped by bandits for ransom, knowledge, bragging rights, bait, or fun
Framed and declared an outlaw
Accidentally walking (or shoved) into a saloon of black hats
Digging out a bullet
Camping in the cold nighttime wilderness
Attacked by wildlife
Thrown into the town jail
Black hat threatening the cowboy's horse
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What your western classics tattoo means:
-Inferno: cringe. you think about hell a lot but don’t believe in god. You like the boiling river of shit. You say you think Paolo and Francesca are romantic but you don’t understand courtly love.
-Purgatorio: pretty good. You probably payed attention to the reading. You should take up endurance hiking with a bag of rocks
-Paradiso: excellent. You’re annoying about the existence of the sublime in music. You were really into string theory in middle school. If I give you a drink you’ll start talking about Hildegard
-Lysistrata: you had a lesbian separatist phase. You're really into your community garden, or you want to be. Every thirteen months, one of your posts goes viral
-Iliad: your meat is huge
-Odyssey: your wife is smarter than you. You're a killer tabletop DM. You would fuck a witch if pressed
-Don Quixote: based. unless it's the picasso illustrations, then you're basic.
-Pascal: if it's math, you're gay. if it's philosophy, you're a stoner
-Aeneid: you also have a tattoo of the Capitoline Wolf. You love the origin story part of superhero movies
-Middlemarch: you don't exist. nobody has a middlemarch tattoo
-Jane Austen's works: you're the person people text "can i be mean." You're good at parties but you hate them. You're think you're funnier online than in person
-just the word "logos" in Greek: you didn't do the reading
-Sappho: you are a trans lesbian
-Proust: you post a lot of "slut in theory" memes. you get anxious going to the seven-eleven
-Euclid: you taught yourself to draw a perfect circle. You think about geological formations a lot. You've memorized that Edna St. Vincent Millay poem
-Herodotus: you're a worldbuilding geek. You wanted to talk about the necrophilia passage more in class. You will buy any novel with a map at the front
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