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petitprincess1 · 6 years

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Why Does Clemencia Love Demencia? (One-shot)

Summary: Clemencia ends getting asked the age old question and what better way to answer that question than in song!

Characters: Slug, Hatbot, Clemencia, Demencia, Flug (briefly), DCS (Demencia Cult Society), and White Hat

Words: 1,571

Warnings: A bit of gore and violence.

If you want to read the original post click here and if you want to listen to the song while reading (even though it won’t match up) click here

Slug scrolled through the many questions that people asked with extreme boredom and mumbled them aloud, while Hatbot was blowing bubbles and Clemencia was playing with her Demencia doll and decapitated Flug doll, “Can I marry White Hat? No. How much training does it take to be as good as you all? You will never be as good, give up. Can we see your face? Ha! No. ...Huh?”

He raised an eyebrow at a folder that wasn’t marked and asked Hatbot, “Hey, what is this?”

Hatbot looked at the computer screen and gasped, “OOOOH! It’s all the questions that I marked as spam and unnecessary! They were primarily Clemencia’s que-”

“AAAAH! WHAT!?” Clemencia squealed as she hopped into Slug’s lap, making the scientist grunt in pain, and cheered, “OH! OH! Let’s do them! Please please please please-”

Slug interrupted, “Alright, fine! Get off of me, please!”

Clem giggled as she teleported out of his lap and watched as he clicked on the spam, watching the images of the copious questions flicker endlessly on the screen, all of them asking, “Why does Clemencia love Demencia?”

Clem blinked at them and the suddenly started vibrating with excitement, as she squealed and her eyes turned into hearts. Slug then jumped up and grabbed Hatbot, making him hide behind one of the chairs along with him. Hatbot asked, “Daddy, what’s happening?”

Slug whispered to him, “Let’s just pray that it’ll be over soon.”

Clemencia’s horn then glowed brightly, changing the whole entire scenery surrounding her and even making the others disappear. An electrifying, seductive, and terrifying tune filled the air as Clemencia teleported into a pastel pink and fluffy room filled with Demencia posters, drawings, secret pictures taken of her, stolen items, and in the middle a giant statue of the lizard hybrid in her apocalyptic gear. Everything, including the statue, was covered in glitter, rainbows, and hearts that read “Clem x Dem”, “She’s mine”, “Love u”, or “My Goddess”. Clemencia teleported in front of the statue and then began to answer the question...in song, “Her absolute vile and disgusting being,” she teleported to the statue’s shoulder and kissed its cheek, “it fills me with the most wondrous feeling~”

She continued as she crawled into her hair, letting it fall crazily out of its ponytail, and crawl-danced in front of a poster of Dem in her apocalyptic gear, stepping on a person and cackling, “Her discordant and unkempt appearance,” she then fainted onto a spear and got impaled, still having giant, lovestruck smile on her face with rainbow blood dripping from her mouth, “It brings a whole new meaning to my existence!”

Down below the many people impaled on spears, Demencia was inaudibly laughing crazily as Clem was singing over it, “Her chaotic cackle and bombastic behavior,” Demencia then turned to an upside down, tied up Flug and began punching him, “How can you not have her as your savior?”

Next was just Demencia smiling wickedly before pulling many knives, daggers, scalpels, and toothbrush shivs out from her hair, while Clem sang, “Her crazy smile and carnivorous greed,” Clemencia appeared, leaning back against the now still picture, with her hand on her heart and she hummed, as hearts appeared around her head, “Only raises my lustful need~”

She then pushed back on the image too hard and that caused both her and it to fall backward, awkwardly, while robed figures that were dressed in what looked like Dem’s jacket and they even had a long green ponytail sticking out from their hoods. The Demencia cult members chanted along with the music, as all of Clemencia’s stalking and pursuing of Dem appeared behind them, “That girl is psychotic, her love for Demencia is barbaric. If you captured her, it’d be in vain, her maddening love would drive even Black Hat insane.”

A pastel blue and pastel pink heart appeared and the words “Clem x Dem” got sliced into the middle, causing a glittery rainbow to bleed out from the gashes. Clem trilled, “Her wrath and savageness I cannot fear; she’s just an untamed lizard~” She then leaned backwards in front of the heart, almost bending herself completely in half, clasping her hands together, still singing the note. The she spun around and got herself wrapped up in her blue ponytail, finishing off with a giggle, “with fluffy hair!”

An image flashed with her practicing kisses on her Demencia poster in her room and then another showed her watching the lizard woman beating a hero’s teeth out with a delirious and loving smile on her face. All the while drawings of hearts, lizards, and unicorns, along with the words: “Mine”, “My love”, and “Perfection” came in. It all dissipated to show Clemencia riding happily on a giant, blue and white, robotic spider.

As the giant spider with WH Inc’s logo on its abdomen stomped throughout the villainous suburbs, Clemencia lied down on her stomach on its head, while kicking her legs in the air, hands propping her head up, and rocking her head back-and forth to the chaotic beat of the music and the blood-curdling screams below her as lower lifeforms got impaled on the robot’s legs. She sang with hearts in her eyes as she stared down Black Hat’s manor, “She’s a part of mean and nasty corporation,” she took a remote out of her hair and pressed a button, sending rockets out of the spider’s fangs and blowing up the manor, “I’ll be the one to end her destruction!”

Next she ended up beside Demencia in her Predator armor, sans helmet, while she was tearing open a hero and squishing their guts into a bloodied mush. Clem twirled towards her and swooned, while wrapping her arms around the back of Dem’s neck and turning around to slide down the lizard hybrid erotically, “Her armor’s bloodied with hero’s spleens.”

Clemencia climbed up the suddenly growing Demencia, as the lizard woman placed her helmet on as she towered over Hatsville. A red lazer beam came out from Demencia’s helmet and sliced through several buildings, causing many cataclysmic and uproarious cries. Clem just climbed up to the giant lizard’s shoulder and maniacally sang, watching the destruction with amorous glee, “She’s always leaving the night filled with screams!”

The image burned away along with the city and Slug appeared, leaning back in his chair and was casually singing-speaking, “Will you finish this song?”

Clemencia shook her tush at him, mocking, “Make me, you bore!”

She then reached into her ponytail and pulled out dozens of cute daggers, twirling around and sending them of towards Slug in different angles, while declaring, “Nothing can stop my love for her~”

Slug shrunk in his chair and covered himself with his arms, as the daggers went flying past him and over him, creating a heart shape into the wall right behind him. Hatbot wheeled up to Clem and begged, “Miss. Clemencia, calm down!”

She then snapped around to face Hatbot, making the little bot jump in fear as he wheeled in reverse to White Hat, who was reading the newspaper, and hop onto his lap. Clemencia climbed onto the recliner White was sitting in to be over both of them as she sang with a deranged smile, while her eyes changed into pinpricks and her horn glowed dark pink, making Hatbot tremble and White raise an eyebrow, “And something I know is something that I will share!”

She magically conjured an ensemble of the Demencia Cult Society to stand on wooded, curved choral risers, while a few others were summoned to play instruments in more shredded like robes, with graffiti, stickers, and tattoos all over them, and they all chanted lowly, in tune with the music, “Crazy in love…”

An anime-like image of Demencia and Clemencia appeared, possibly drawn by a woman that Clem threatened, and it was of Clem being dipped down in a seductive manner, while one of her arms wrapped around Dem’s neck and she held a sickle up to the lizard’s trachea. Demencia’s arm was wrapped onto the small of Clem’s back and the other hand was both caressing and squeezing Clem’s neck. The unicorn witch crooned, “Because in the end…”

She finished off on a high note as her powers went berserk and started changing the entire lab into a twisted half unicorn, that was pastel blue and pink, and half lizard skull, that was green and red, stage, along with gogo dancers in cages, interpretive dancers, aerial silk acrobatics, and the rest of the cult walking up ramps with torches in hand, all of the dressed somewhat like both her and Dem. She belted out while the dark pink aura surrounded her and lifted her in air, “The most real and right is Demencia~”

The cult vocalized along with her going into a crescendo, as the ones with torches went up to the cauldron and lit it on fire, making the orangish flames somehow turn pink, blue, and glittery and spell out “Clem x Dem”. Clemencia then suddenly stopped singing, flipped her fluffy ponytail over shoulder, and blinked her eyes cutely, while sparkles and stars appeared in her pupils. She cooed, “And me!”

Then her aura quickly turned blue and everything disappeared, causing her to fall from the stage, land harshly on the table, and start twitching. Slug and Hatbot were instantly put back in their chairs. White ordered them, “Let’s get back to the questions, s̪̜̣͍̗̦ͅh̗̯̘a͖͎͝l̳̪̬l͍̟̙̞͎ ͓̦̠ẉ̶̘e̵̥̰̺̩̣?̩͠”

Slug and Hatbot jumped and then saluted, “Yes, sir!”

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petitprincess1 · 6 years

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Mad Love

Summary: A commercial for BH Org. ends up getting disrupted, or maybe even improved, by Clemencia, as she shares her tips on dealing with the most plaguing and revolting force on this planet: Love.

Words: 1,330

Warnings: You may bleed out your eyes from pure insanity and dark humor-ish. This was a lot of fun to make.

AO3 LINK

Narrator: Greetings, you boorish bottom feeders! Have any of you experienced the oh-so abominable and weak feeling known as “love”? Even worse, have you had this feeling for your enemy? Whether it be completely romantic or just a wayward crush, you’ve most likely felt your heart beat right out of your ribcage when facing your opponent, causing you to lose more than usual (*fast* unless-you-are-using-the-products-created-by-the-Black-Hat-Organization). Do you wish for this devilish and barbaric feeling to disappear or even how to use it for evil? Fear not, you disgusting disappointments, once again, the Black Hat Organization has the cure for you! Who better to turn your overbearing sappiness to an obsessive, dark romance in the most effective way possible than by the lascivious lizard herself! Everyone put your hands together for the savage saurian, the rocking reptile, the caustic chameleon, Demenci-AAH!

The screen shows Demencia’s bedroom and on top of her bed is a large, fluffy, lump of blue, a bit of white, and some hot pink that was slowly moving up and down.

Narrator: Eugh! What is that? Is it alive? Quick! Call the Hatbots and get that vile thing exterminated imm-

Before he could finish, the lump of blue moved as a face, limbs, and a body showed itself as it stretched out from underneath, revealing a girl who was wearing a unicorn hoodie. She yawned as her arms wrapped around one Demencia’s pillows and she pushed her face into it. Then came the sound of heavy breathing.

Narrator: Cl-Clemencia! What the hell are you doing here and in Demencia's room!?

Clemencia lifted her face from Demencia's pillows with a drunken look on her face and then giggled at the Narrator, "The window was wide open, of course! I think anyone can agree that if someone left their window, door, or secret entrance open, then that perfectly allows any stranger to come in, right!?"

She blinked cutely at him with wide eyes, but it was such slow blinks that it made him uncomfortable.

Narrator: ...W-Well, either way, I need to alert Lord Black H-

"Oh no. You can't do that~ That wouldn't be fair to the wife and kids, don't you think?"

Narrator: Oh, please, what an empty threat You don't know where my family lives! Hahahaha-

As the narrator laughed, Clem's head slowly tilted to the side at a weird, horrifying angle, even making bones snap in her neck, as her grin grew wider.

Narrator: Eh, heh...you d-don't...do you?

Clem just winked at him and smiled, "Read the script, please~"

Narrator: Eh...wh-what? S-Script? But I- Oh, what is this? A rewrite? Oh, uh, th-thank you, um...ahem! As I was saying so obviously before, who better to turn your overbearing sappiness to an obsessive, dark romance in the most effective way possible than by, eh, Demencia’s number one fan herself! Everyone put your hands together for the pastel punk, the cuddly killer, the cute cutthroat, oh boy, Clemencia!

Clemencia was now lying seductively on the bed with her hand slowly moving up her leg as she greeted, “Bienvenidos, ovejas sin espinas, Clemencia aquí para enseñarles a los idiotas cómo enamorarse de verdad~”

Narrator: No! No! English channel! English!

Clemencia blinked at him and then giggled, “Oh, right! Heehee~ Sorry!”

She then sat up, as she pulled out a Demencia plushie that was ripped to shreds and was missing a leg. She hugged it tightly and the repeated, “Welcome, you spineless sheep, Clemencia here to teach you idiots on how to truly fall in love! And what better format to teach you with thaaaaannnn,” she took out a bunch of crayons, glitter markers, papers, and a bucket that looked like it could be filled with red paint, “CLEMENCIA TI-”

Narrator: Clemencia, this isn’t a normal ten minute video! We are running out of time and you need to make your point very quickly or you’ll just get cu-

Clemencia made some random noise as he was talking, “hnnnnnnNNNNNNG CLEMENCIATIPS!!!!!”

A bunch of childishly made drawings somehow appeared, as well as a simply drawn Clemencia. The unicorn girl spoke, showing images of Dark Phantom’s heart being stepped on by Vanity, while he’s also getting punched, “So, you want to know how to capture the interest of your lover and make them fall to as your prey, huh? Well, the best way to do that iiiiisssss~ through getting to know them! And there’s no better way to figure out your darling enemy then through tracking their every move~”

She drew several images of her stalking Demencia by hiding in bushes, looking at her through windows, and tapping herself to Dem’s ceiling at night to watch her sleep. Clemencia then suggested, “That is, unless your opponent has amazing detection skills like my magnificent love, Demencia,” next image was of her pretending to be Demencia’s mirror by standing right in front of her, while Dem was wielding an axe, even though she looks nothing like her and doesn’t even bother changing her clothes. She went on, “If that comes to pass, then you can always leave a gift for them! Nothing says “I love you” more than a mysterious package showing up randomly with no label on it whatsoever.”

It was an image of the hero, Angel, looking down at a box with many question marks around her head. She then slowly opened the box and peeked inside, while Clem added, “You can fill the package with whatever you want, but make sure that it’s memorable. So, that way, they’ll be thinking of you no matter what,” the next image was quick cut to Angel sitting in a corner and rocking back-and-forth, tearing her hair out.

Clemencia then listed, “Other things that you can do are dates,” drawings of Bonnivet eating with a spaced-themed hero, who was tied up in a chair and gagged, “star gazing,” Flug sending a nature powered hero into space, “karaoke,” 505 and WH Hatbot singing karaoke like best buds, “or if things turn sour and the hero dumps you or, even worse, you dump the hero, you can always just give them a nice, big hug!”

An image of Clemencia hugging Metauro appeared, while everything around them bright and glowy and they were so happy. ...Then there was an image of a house burning in the background, while Clem held him tighter in the drawing, “TO HOLD THEM BACK WHILE YOU BURN DOWN EVERYTHING THAT THEY LOVED!!!!! MUAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!”

The images slowly burnt away to maniacally laughing Clemencia as everything around her seemed to go up in flames, making her seem truly sadistic as the pink fire licked at her skin and didn't seem to do any damage. Then everything went back to normal as she calmly finished, “However, if you follow my steps, then you should be able to follow everything as simply as pulling someone’s intestines out from their noses!”

Narrator: Eeeeehhhh...is that even possible?

Clemencia grinned wickedly, “Yes, yes it is! Let me show you!”

Narrator: NO NO NO N-

Suddenly, his screaming got interrupted by something breaking down off-screen as Demencia’s voice popped, “What the hell are you doing in here, you walking diabetic shock!”

Clemencia’s eyes turned into hearts as she giggled deliriously, squeezing the doll so tightly that the head popped right off. Her eyes then turned back to normal as the sound heavy, mechanical footfalls came in and she went back to the camera, concluding, “If you follow these easy steps, then you’re sure to have your love slobbering at your dingy, dollar store shoes in no time! I better get going~ I know I’ll be seeing all you lovelies….very soon~” She then giggled crazily at her threat as she disappeared right as soon as an axe came flying towards her, getting embedded into the wall.

Narrator: Ugh...I hate my j-

Demencia: You...You let her in my room, you dumbfuck!

Narrator: N-NO!!! I WOULD NEVER DO SUCH A THING!!!! PLEASE, DON- AAAAAAAA-

The only sound that was heard before the camera cut off was the sound of a chainsaw revving.

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