#what did britney ever do to you tara?

[myrammmortal]

Chapter 24, I'm swearing so you can see how goffik I am

AN: prepz stup flaming da story ur jus jelous so fuk u ok go 2 hel!11 raven fagz 4 di help!

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Well we had Deviation next so I got to ask Proffessor Trevolry about the visions.

“Konnichiwa everybody come in.” said Proffesor Sinister in Japanese. She smelled at me with her gothic black lipstick. She’s da coolest fucking teacher ever. She had long dead black hair with blood red tips and red eyes. (hr mom woz a vampire. She’s also haf Japanese so she speaks it and everyfing. she n Frau Schneider get along grate) She’s really young for a teacher. 2day she was wearing a black leather top with red lace and a long goffik black ripped dress. We went inside the black classroom with pastors of Emily the Strong. I raced my hand. I was wearing some black naie Polish with red pentagrams on it.

“What is it Paul Darkness Alzheimer Birdflu Landers?” she asked. “Hey I love ur nail polish where’d u get it, Hot Topik?”

“Yeah.” I answered. All the preps who didn’t know what HT was gave me weird looks. I gave them the middle finger. “Well I have to talk to you about some fings. When do you want to due it?”

“Ho about now?” she asked.

“OK.” I said.

“OK class fucking dismissed every1.” Proffesor Trevolry said and she let every1 go. “Except for you Britney.” she pointed at Britney and sum other preps. “Please do exorcize (geddit) 1 on page 3.”

“OK I’m having lotz of visions.” I said in a worried voice. I’m so worried is Richard gong 2 die.

Well she gave me a black cryptal ball to lock in. I looked at it.

“What do you c?” she asked.

“I said I see a black gothic skull and a pentagram.”

Suddenly there was a knock at the door. I looked at it. It was Richard. He was looking really sexy wearing a black leather facet, a black Emigrate t-shirt and blak Congress shoes.

“Okay you can go now, see ya cunt.” said Proffesor Sinister.

“Bye bitch.” I said waving.

I went to Richard and Vampire was sitting next to him. We both followed Richard together and I was so exhibited.

[imsparky2002]

We All Dye - A Teen Titans (Girls) AU

Band: We All Dye

Founded: October 30, 1999

Location: Jump City, California

Fun Facts

The band is called We All Dye because at the time, everyone had dyed hair.

While they officially formed the band in 1999, they had been practicing together for about a year before the official founding. Their first concert was on Halloween.

Rachel Roth (Raven)

Born: May 1, 1986

Favorite Acts: The Cure, Korn, Siouxsie and the Banshees, Radiohead, Joy Division

Instruments: Lead Vocals

About: On stage, Rachel Roth is a gothic force of nature. She loses herself in the music, putting all her emotions on display and excelling in flair and passion. When she's offstage, Roth is the complete opposite. In real life, she's a reserved and mild-mannered kid who uses sarcasm and bluntness on a regular basis. Rachel's look on life had been jaded even before her mother's death from cancer, an which caused her to create the band as a way of finally releasing her emotions and hurt in a creative manner. She found that in making the band, she had found lifelong friends who would be there for her every step of the way. She tries her best to do the same for them.

Kori Anderson (Starfire)

Born: May 21, 1986

Favorite Acts: Bjork, Britney Spears, The Beach Boys, David Bowie, Rush, Sum 41

Instruments: Lead Guitar

About: An immigrant from Canada, Kori is without a doubt one of the nicest people you will ever meet. Though she's unapolagetically peppy, she's got a love for rock. She is trusting to a fault, which her older sister Kristen (Blackfire) would take advantage of. It was only after her bandmates showed Kori that she was being mistreated, did she finally begin to stand up for herself. Now she feels that she's finally gained true sisters.

Karen Beecher (Bumblebee)

Born: March 19, 1986

Favorite Acts: Jamiroquai, Green Day, Gloria Gaynor, Prince, Erykah Badu, Lauryn Hill

Instruments: Rhythm Guitar, Backing Vocals

About: The mom of the group, Karen works alongside Kori to be the peacekeeper. She makes sure everybody's packed and ready to go for concerts. Karen's certainly busy as a bee, which just so happens to be her favorite animal. She's also a proud nerd, hoping to work in tech if the band somehow fails to work out.

Tara Markov (Terra)

Born: February 21, 1986

Favorite Acts: Nirvana, Pearl Jam, Joan Jett, Soundgarden, Fiona Apple

Instruments: Bass

About: Tara is a girl who is not afraid to get her hands dirty or speak her mind. This came from being bullied in childhood as a poverty-ridden kid needing to fight for everything she had. She chose to play bass as she felt it fit her "no-theatrics" attitude. Tara also is the most likely to argue either for herself or for other members of the band if she feels anyone is being disrespected.

Alina Hao (Jinx)

Born: August 8, 1986

Favorite Acts: Hex Girls (She won't apologize), Queen, Shonen Knife, Misfits, Stevie Nicks

Instruments: Keyboards, Backing Vocals

About: Alina is as wry, passionate and mischievous as they come. When Rachel was creating her on-stage persona, she mostly drew inspiration from Alina's theatricality. Funnily enough, Alina and Rachel had been rivals in elementary school, due to frequent bouts for spots in school plays. It was only after puberty and tragedy in Rachel's life did the two realize how silly their rivalry truly was, and Alina was invited into the friend group. Now she feels it's her job to back up her friends, and occasionally drive them nuts with pranks.

Rose Wilson (Ravager)

Born: February 21, 1986

Favorite Acts: Nine Inch Nails, Metallica, Alanis Morissette, Guns 'n Roses, Rage Against the Machine, Le Tigre

Instruments: Drums

About: If you want to keep Rose happy, don't tell her what to do without a good reason. She has problems with authority due to issues with her parents and being seen as a disappointment by most of her teachers. Having two younger brothers (with an older brother, Grant, who's serving in the Army) to protect from their mom and dad means she looks out for other kids going through a hard time. It's also caused her to become jaded, using snarkiness as a way to cope with the feelings of hurt and anger that have built up inside her. While she sees all her bandmates as sisters, she particularly bonds with Tara as a fellow victim of parental abuse, even if they bicker a lot.

So that's the band so far. Credit to Artzy for the name choice! Lemme know headcanons, and thoughts in the replies and reblogs. @artzychic27 @nerd-chocolate @msweebyness

[jessicafurseth]

Reading List, Like Water Feeling Its Way Over An Edge double edition.

Fucking in Cornwall, by Ella Frears

The rain is thick and there’s half a rainbow over the damp beach; just put your hand up my top. I’ve walked around that local museum a hundred times and I’ve decided that the tiny, stuffed dog labelled: the smallest dog in the world, is a fake. Kiss me in a pasty shop with all the ovens on. I’ve held a warm, new egg on a farm and thought about fucking. I’ve held a tiny green crab in the palm of my hand. I’ve pulled my sleeve over my fingers and picked a nettle and held it to a boy’s throat like a sword. Unlace my shoes in that alley and lift me gently onto the bins. The bright morning sun is coming and coming and the holiday children have their yellow buckets ready. Do you remember what it felt like to dig a hole all day with a tiny spade just to watch it fill with sea? I want it like that – like water feeling its way over an edge. Like two bright-red anemones in a rock-pool, tentacles waving ecstatically. Like the gorse has caught fire across the moors and you are the ghost of a fisherman, who always hated land.

[Image]

*

*** Some stories about how the lockdown is going [TL;DR not well]

This is the "Third Quarter" of the pandemic and what we are experiencing is normal - just ask antarctic researchers, space travel scientists and submarine officers [Tara Law, Time]

"You can’t govern the people you live with in a series of edicts. ...  But I have reached the point of 2021 when that’s all I want to do. There’s a suite of feelings and thoughts occurring in the house that I want a complete veto over because everyone is irritating the hell out of me." [Zoe Williams, The Guardian]

"It’s not a pleasure, but it’s the best we’ve got, all of us walking in place until we have somewhere to walk to." I'm sick of walking around [Monica Heisey, The Guardian}

"I’ll read a page of my book before migrating over to Instagram, losing myself in its emptiness for half an hour before I even realize what I’m doing. During work, I’ll write two sentences of a draft, then click new tab and type in Twitter.com. Others spend hours with their eyes glazed over as they flick through TikTok, disappear down YouTube rabbit holes, or sit down at their computers, only to blink and realize they’ve been playing Assassin’s Creed: Valhalla for five hours straight." What the pandemic is doing to our attention spans [Angela Lashbrook, Debugger at Medium] 

The case for bringing back the nervous breakdown, or, why it should be easier to admit that it's just a bit too much [Jerry Useem, The Atlantic]

"It’s not just the multitasking that makes us feel muddled. It’s also the stress. Chronically high levels of the hormone cortisol, which is associated with stress, can lead to memory impairments in healthy adults." Why the pandemic has made it feel like your brain is broken [Jessica Grose, The New York Times]

"Ten months into the pandemic, I know the rhythms of the courier networks better than I know my menstrual cycle. Royal Mail in the morning; DPD and Hermes in the afternoon. Amazon comes any time, including late at night. DPD couriers insist on taking a photo of you with the package, mortifyingly. I wonder where these photos go: me in a food-stained tracksuit, dirty-haired, holding an armful of packages I can’t remember ordering with an abashed smile. I pray they never see the light of day." [Sirin Kale, The Guardian] 

It's ok to complain about how much we have lost to this pandemic. [Sarah Manavis, The New Statesman]

*** Some stories that are still about the pandemic, but a bit more uplifting

"I think that we map memories onto places—even more, that our memories live inside places. I remember last year visiting the library in Saratoga that I used to go to in high school, which I hadn’t been to since then. It turned out that I only remembered half of it, and when I walked into the (previously) un-remembered half, all of these other memories flooded back with it. Or more generally, when I look across the bay at San Francisco, I feel like I’m looking at my 20s. That’s one of the reasons I’ve always scoffed at the idea of uploading one’s brain, because my memories are all scattered across the landscape, and I have to travel across it to re-encounter them." Jenny Odell [Ross Simonini, The Believer]

"During lockdown, I've found solace in online recipe comments" - this embodies the only type of corona coverage I'm interested in at this point [Sophie Haigeny, The Guardian] 

Maps of our personal covid worlds [Laura Bliss and Jessica Martin, Bloomberg CityLab] 

I miss restaurants so damn much and most of all, I miss taking them for granted. [Rachel Sugar, Grub Street]

Finding peace in an unexpected corner of the internet: Nun Twitter [Sirin Kale, The Guardian] 

They no longer make VHS tapes, and the nostalgia market is booming [Hannah Selinger, The New York Times]

"Why did I ever believe that a teenage girl could hold all the power?" Tavi Gevinson on Britney Spears, and on all of us [The Cut]

"Street View-hopping resonates with the oft-stated desire to see the world as it really is, or to get “off the beaten path,” which turns out to be mostly miles of road and trees and sky. At a time when we have been staring out windows at the same stretch of street, and taking the same drives to the same grocery stores, it can be cathartic to get dropped on another patch of road—somewhere else, but not so different after all." On browsing Google Street View during the pandemic [Sophie Haigeny, The New Yorker]

Even before the pandemic, American culture was embracing numbness as an antidote for the overload of digital capitalism. [Kyle Chayka, The New York Times]

[surveys-r-us]

it’s 2019 and i still do these

Do you know people with these names? For each name, say if you know someone with that name and how you know them.

Aaron: I know multiple Aaron’s. Two of them are former coworkers. The other one is someone I know of but haven’t really talked to much.  Adam: A jerk face.  Aisha Alanna Alex: Off the top of my mind, I think of someone I matched with on bumble a few months ago.  Alexa Alexandria: A girl from elementary school Allegra Allie: Someone from high school who had a baby.  Allison: A girl from my sorority (that I quit)

Alondra

Amanda: One of my early college friends who transferred. I don’t even follow her on social media anymore.

Amber Amie Ana: Another girl from my old sorority lol.  Anaïs Andreas Andrew: I know a few.  Angela: A girl I used to play soccer with in middle school.  Angelica Anna: Someone from high school. Think she moved after graduating college.  Annie Ari Ashley: Not the biggest fan of because she gets involved in other people’s business (including mine) but we’ve had some fun memories.  Ashna Audrey Austin: cute guy from my hometown who I talked for like a week senior year of high school Becky Ben: A friend I’ve never actually met in person but we talk every few months.

Berkeley: Someone who studied abroad in Ireland with me. She might���ve spelled it differently.  Beth: One of my first friends in college. She’s one of the nicest people I’ve met. Bobby: Another person from college. He can kinda be a dick.  Bolor Brendan: My friend who plays guitar and sings. Super talented. We bonded over our music tastes being relatively similar.  Bridgid Britney: I think it was spelled Brittany but a girl in the grade below me in high school.  Brooke: My little cousin. Cal Callie Cam Cameron: I had a brief crush on him back in high school.  Camille: One of my old roommates’ close friends. I’ve only talked to her like twice.  Camryn Carmen: A distance cousin.  Caro Caroline: I know like 5 Caroline’s. My old roommate is one of them.  Casilda Cecile Cecily Chanel Chloe: The first person I thought of was a friend’s little sister.  Chris: Super liberal, obsessed with Game of Thrones and listens to Talking Heads Christina: One of my sister’s friends.  Christopher: Someone from high school. I’ve known him since kindergarten.  Claire: One of my best friends.  Claudia Claudine Cole: Was just wondering about him the other day since he deleted all his social media. Wonder what he’s up to. I know he’s a pilot.  Connie Connor: He plays football and writes for our student newspaper.  Courtney: She’s hilarious.  Cyrus Daisy Dakota Dana Danielle: Someone from my high school who also went to my college. She was older than me though. David: This cool guy from the Netherlands I met my last night in Ireland. He was apparently super into me according to my sister. He deleted me on snapchat though so now I don’t know how to communicate with him.  Delilah Diane: My aunt.  Diego Donald Doug: A family friend Duncan Dylan: My best friend’s ex. Pretty sure he got busted for selling drugs lol Eleanor Elijah Elise: My sister Eliza Elizabeth: One of my sister’s friends.  Ella Elle: Another girl from my sorority. She tags her boyfriend in things a lot on facebook. Ellie: Another person from high school. She’s like me and got the fuck out of this town.  Elliot Emerson Emily: Man I know a ton. One that comes to mind is my friend who we can go months without talking and pick things up like no time passed.  Emma: Someone from college who deleted her social media recently. I applaud her for it.  Eric Erika: Erica. Went to middle school with her. She’s had two kids.  Ethan: Dude I knew of in college but never really talked to. Faith: One of my old coworkers. I would see her out at parties and be surprised since she didn’t seem like someone who drank.  Fiona Francesca: Franz George: This short kid who’s sorta friends with one of my old roommates. I had class with him and didn’t even realize it until 3 weeks before the semester ended haha.  Ginny Giselle Grace: My beautiful cousin Graham Hadley Hailey: One of the few people from high school I’d still hang out with. 

Hannah: Wasn't a big fan of her.  Havana Helen Henry: Someone else from high school. He’s super smart.  Hugo Huma Ilana Indra Isabel: One of my favorite coworkers from this past year. Such a sweetheart. However, she can talk too much which was especially annoying at our mandatory meetings at 9 PM (college jobs suck) when I just wanted to go home and go to bed.  Isabella Itza Ivy Izzy: Think there was a girl with that name on my floor freshman year Jackie Jacob: Old neighbor. He got busted buying weed before it was legal here. Not sure what he’s doing now James: My uncle Jamie Jason: A family friend. Actually saw him the other day.  Jennifer: My former aunt.  Jenny: see above Jess: One of my closest friends.  Jhadha Joe: My old manager at work. I miss him. He’s so funny.  John: My music soulmate.  Jonathan: He plays football. He and his girlfriend are super cute together.  Joseph: An asshole.  Joyce J.P. Jude Julia Julie Justin: A distant relative.  Kaan Kai Karina Kat Kate: One of my cousins.  Katherine Kinaya Kira Kristie Lanie Laura: She’s from Hungary. She’s low key insane.  Lauren: Aye that’s me. Also one of my best friends.  Leah: My old supervisor. She’s hilarious. León Lexxi Liberty Lisette Louisa Luca Luis Lynette MacKenzie: Spelled differently but this girl who’s somehow a Trump supporter lol.  Maddie: A really complicated friendship but think we’re good now.  Maggie: Actually one of the funniest people you could meet. She uses tinder just to send stupid messages.  Makena Manlio Margaret Margo Maria: My old roommate.  Marianna Mariely Martha Martin Mayuri McKinley Megan: The person I think of is a friend from college.  Meredith Mia: One of my really close friends.  Michael: My ex boyfriend lol Michelle: One of my oldest friends. I’ve known her since 1st grade.  Mike: This dude who gets insanely drunk at the bars and does stupid things. I don’t know how he hasn’t been arrested.  Minah Miranda: This artsy girl from high school.  Molly: Another old neighbor. She lives in Chicago I think.  Morgan: One of my close high school friends. I don’t really see her often.  Nadia Nancy Natalie: A mutual friend with different people. She studied abroad in Ireland when i did.  Nathan Nathanael Neoma Nichole: She was my camp counselor.  Nico Nikki Noah Noelle: Pretty sure there’s a girl from my hometown with that name.  Octavio Olivia: My locker buddy throughout high school. Would see her every day.  Orion Owen: Went to college with him for a bit. He transferred and then dropped out. No idea what he’s been up to. He’s really into theatre.  Paige: My little cousin Pam Pat Patrick: My old high school crush. He unfollowed me on instagram a few months ago which sucks because we were actually decently close friends at one point.  Paul: A family friend.  Paula Pauline Peter: I definitely know a Peter but can’t think of one.  Phoebe Phong Price Quinn Rachel: Another person from high school I’d actually still hang out with.  Rai Railey Raquel Ray Rayne Rebecca: Known her since 2nd grade.  Rebkah Regina Reilly Remy Ren Rhianna Robert: My friend’s brother.  Rohini Roither Rose Ruby Ruilin Sabrina Sakura Salim Sally Sam: This super buff guy from high school. Literally could be a bodybuilder for all I care. Sapna Sarah: This really religious girl I went to high school with. I don’t think she ever left our hometown.  Savanah Sebastian Shani Shannon: One of my good friends from middle school. I haven’t seen her in years.  Siena Snigdha Sofia Sophie Soren Spencer: Think a guy from my high school has a younger brother with this name.  Summers Sydney: She just got married and had like a two week honeymoon at Disney. Taran Taylor: Talked to one for like two weeks. His current girlfriend hates me but we kinda mutually ended things so I don’t get why.  Tessa: One of the nicest people from the nicest family in my entire town. Thea Theo Theresa: I’ve met a couple in college.  Tim: My uncle Tom: I’m not really a fan of him. He likes to show up to things uninvited. Tori Ural Victoria: Someone from my floor freshman year. She’s vegan and is getting married in like a month. I can’t wait to see her wedding photos. Her dress will probably be really beautiful.  Viviane Walter Will: Some kid from elementary school Willa William Yujin Yuta Zac Zoe Which names do you prefer?

Alice or Allana? Alice Allie or Andie? Andie Alexandra or Anastasia? Alexandra Anna or Angela? Anna Annie or Angelica? Angelica Ana or Ashna? Ana Audrey or Ashley? Audrey Ansel or Annika? Ansel Brooke or Britney? Brooke Berkeley or Bella? Bella Bo Chao or Beatrix? Beatrix Camille or Camryn? Camryn Cristina or Casilda? Cristina Chloe or Courtney? Courtney Charlotte or Carol? Charlotte Cleo or Chanel? Chanel Davin or Dillon? Dillon Delilah or Dutra? Delilah Erin or Elina? Erin Emin or Emerson? Emerson Emily or Emma? Emma Erika or Estelle? Estelle Faith or Frannie? Faith Fernanda or Francesca? Francesca Georgina or Gracie? Gracie Gabriela or Gina? Gina Hailey or Hannah? Hailey Hadley or Havana? Hadley Indra or Isabel? Isabel Indiana or Ivy? Indiana Jenny or Jessie? Jessie Julia or Joyce? Joyce Jasmine or Jackie? Jasmine Jamie or Jennifer? Jamie Kimia or Karina? Karina Katerina or Kate? Kate Kira or Kristie? Kira Lia or Lily? Lia Lauren or Lynette? Lauren Liberty or Leila? Liberty Margaret or Martha? Martha Michelle or Mackenzie? Michelle Mia or Michaela? Mia Morgan or Maddie? Morgan Maya or Mayuri? Maya Megan or Makena? Makena McKinley or Margo? Margo Nikki or Natalie? Natalie Nadia or Nancy? Nancy Nicole or Olivia? Olivia Rachel or Rebecca? Rachel Remi or Rosie? Remi Ruby or Reine? Ruby Ren or Sakura? Sakura Sapna or Snigdha? Sapna Sally or Stella? Sally Sophie or Sydney? Sophie Sophia or Solana? Sophia Skye or Sierra? Sierra Serena or Savanah? Savannah Sarah or Sabrina? Sabrina Tara or Taylor? Tara Vittoria or Yahs? Vittoria Yoonju or Yukine? Yukine Aidan or Austin? Austin Alan or Andrew? Alan Aldo or Alexx? Alexx Ben or Brian? Ben Billy or Brodie? Brodie Corey or Carlos? Carlos Coleman or Connor? Connor David or Dylan? David Eli or Eric? Eric Franz or Fernando? Franz Gabe or Graham? Gabe Holden or Hudson? Hudson Jacob or Justin? Justin Jack or JP? Jack Jimmy or Jared? Jared James or John? John Karm or Kian? Kian Lou or Lenny? Lenny Michael or Mickey? Michael Nick or Nathan? Nick Peter or Pierson? Peter Rai or Rafael? Rafael Sanjay or Supawat? Sanjay Will or Wynn? Will Zachary or Zack? Zack

[nahmooste]

PROMPTS

31 prompt ideas where the first ten are quotes inspired by songs I can't remember and the rest are listed next to the quote. if you want any done, pop them into my ask box with any NJPW wrestler/s and the theme; aka tension, angst, fluff, smut, etc. these won’t be super long unless i get carried away... also, idea credit goes to @vipervenomisgoodforyou who did something similar very recently (missed out on the deadline, RIP me). asks open! 

1. "We both said things we can never take back."  2. "So what? You keep ghosting me and then come back around and expect me to fall for it?" 3. "You only hit me up when you've had too much to drink." 4. "I know it doesn't count but I love being your mistake." 5. "Tell me how to make you love me sober." 6. "Enough's enough-- how many times have you used that excuse?" 7. "But you've already got me." 8. "Why is it that you only need me when you're wasted?" "If you have a problem with it then why do you always come?" 9. "We don't even need to talk about it." 10. "Are you serious?" 11. "I sat and watched you lie to my fucking face." Money, Tara Carosielli 12. "You broke my heart, just like I expected." Lunatic, Tara Carosielli 13. "I know I'm a criminal." Prisoner by The Pretty Reckless 14. "Making promises you know you’ve already broke...” Wrong, Far Out ft Emilia Ali  15. "You think you got me where you want me" Selfish, Britney Spears   16. "Even if I screamed at you, you wouldn’t hear me." Blood On My Shoes, Tara Carosielli   17. "You don't even know my name" Animal, Missio 18. "What if we restart? What if you reset me?" Reset, Nothing But Thieves 19. "The centre of attention, even when we're up against the wall" Gimme More, Britney Spears 20. "Someone took objection to my face with a bottle" Last Orders, Nothing But Thieves   21. "I wonder why you're fine-- are you forgetting? The things that you've done, the scars you've given?" Liar, Leon 22. "It's been a while since I've gone and fucked things up just like I always do" It’s Been Awhile, Staind 23. "When you play me, you play yourself-- don’t play yourself” Don’t Hurt Yourself, Beyoncé 24. "We both know that you want to love her" Non Believer, London Grammar 25. "Goddamn right, you should be scared of me; Who is in control?" Control, Halsey   26. "I'm starting to think you have no heart" Love Someone, Miley Cyrus 27. "Why should I believe there's any hope for me?" Battleships, The Getaway Plan 28. "You ever pray with all your heart and soul just to watch her walk away?" Baby Did A Bad Bad Thing, Chris Isaak 29. "I'm just somebody that you used to love" Same Soul, by Pvris   30. "I like this thing we got" This Thing We Got, The Kite String Tangle 31. "I've been wanting to call ya, tell you that I'm sorry" Faking It, Calvin Harris ft Kehlani

[placegrenette]

Tara Wrist on “Look What You Made Me Do.”

Originally published here. If you like this, check out Tara’s Tumblr.

Let’s leave this double-edged sword hang here for a minute: Taylor Swift’s personhood is irrelevant to the reality that she is a better creator than she ever gets credit for. Since her earliest days of the demo CDs she’d like to keep buried, Taylor Swift has never been less interesting or more terrible on the ears than when her songs are forcibly positioned as autobiography.

For a decade she has cultivated an audience of lovers and haters alike that never felt her–or truly felt for her–because she never wanted them to know her, driven to own her brand even as she’s deliberately averred to own up to what lies behind it.

Witness the framing of an Etch-a-Sketch of a song like “Look What You Made Me Do”: she releases a song about vengeful self-definition mere weeks after finally winning a years-long case against a man who sexually assaulted her and tried to sue her to silence over it on the sheer strength of her own self-representation, and the air charges itself with intimations that she instead meant it for Katy Perry, whose flash-in-the-pan “friendship” she publicly and memorably disowned in a bad song about bad blood an entire album ago, or perhaps Kim Kardashian-West, a woman whose “feud” with her arguably began with Taylor Swift’s attempt to paint herself as the victim in an argument with Kim’s husband but ended inarguably and decisively in Kim’s favor.

To claim someone would mangle her targets so ineptly even the conspiracy theorists have to resort to half-guesses and deliberate misquotes to draw out the barbs is a claim it’s especially ridiculous to pin on a musician like Taylor Swift, a control freak who once built a labyrinth of personal references into an album full of songs about protagonists nothing like herself just to prove a point to anyone listening to them that closely about how sturdy the songs would be without knowing any of it. 

A public conversation that misses the point this drastically can only occur if there’s a deliberately blank space where any sense of or interest in the person it’s about could exist.

There is a hole where this most powerfully self-determining popstar lives where a human life has never been glimpsed–because she cast that little girl and her frail voice aside years ago in search of something altogether more influential than such a weak vessel could ever hold.

The girl who cajoled her family into spending enough Merrill-Lynch money to cover for her inability to sing until she had enough professional training to sing the songs she wanted to put to her name was never the girl who could truly be a flight risk with a fear of falling, was never the girl who never did anything better than revenge.

But she wanted to be the girl who sang the words for that girl, who put her words in that girl’s mouth, more than anything else in the world.

She staked her name on nothing less than her ability to capitalize on the reputation she acquired.

The Taylor Swift of Fearless and Speak Now was a Taylor Swift who believed she could be someone else in your mind, a songwriter dexterous enough to slip between gothic pop, americana-infused new wave, and pop-punk piss-offs without shaking that crisply machine-tooled Pennsylvania diction. 

A decade on, she’s learned a lesson enough women before her already learned it’s shocking she wasn’t ready for it: when you’re a girl and you make something about being a girl, everyone thinks you just had yourself in mind. The proof that she was more than that–more than the songs on the radio, you might say–was always there; it wasn’t hidden, it wasn’t obscured.

But from Red onwards that Taylor began to die; a straighter Taylor Swift emerged in more ways than just her hair, all the kinks ironing themselves out in favor of her remodeling herself into a different sort of someone else’s voice.

Where once stood a Taylor Swift who sang for the sake of seeing her words sung by someone else’s mouth back to her, there now stood a Taylor Swift who sang everyone else’s words about her back to them.

Tabloids cannot resurrect a life that a woman never lived, and no amount of retrospective sleight of hand about the girl she might have lied about being can hide the truth that neither can she.

Conspiracy theories only flourish when people treat the mystery of human motives like a jigsaw puzzle waiting to be solved–ignoring that she already made it clear that was, still and always, the wrong answer to the questions she wouldn’t let them ask. 

She wanted fame, she wanted a reputation; she wanted them on terms she defined; she never wanted anything else half as much as she wanted that.

She has used every means available to her to earn them.

Her awkward adolescence took a backseat to her life’s dream of conquering America’s radio.

It’s no shock, then, that all this gossip-mongering rings as hollow as a crown.

The messy melodrama of Southern sympathy and thin-voiced warbles that defined the sweethearted ladygirls of generations before her and beside her and will define those that come after her, the sloppy humanities of Britney and Dolly and Tammy and Leann and Kesha Rose; these fumbling honesties, these vulnerabilities have never been tools in Taylor’s narrative repertoire the way she uses the white girlhood she shares with them has been.

She owned her protagonists’ anxieties; but those songs have never defined her. 

This was always the moral to the story of Taylor Swift, to anyone–condemning or compassionate–who cared to really hear it: behind her careful compositions and obsessive pleas, Taylor Swift was never interested in making herself a real person at all.

That would have cost her everything she ever wanted.

And we, the Cicerone masses, ought very well to ask ourselves, before we let that double-edged sword finally fall: would it have been any more worth it, to anyone, if she had been?

[seilon]

10, 17 & 20 ✨

10: last group you started to listen to?

ive been so focused on shinee i havent even been paying Attention to much of anyone else tbH but uhnngfmm……probably spica! i love spica theyre so amazingly talented with such strong unique voices and catchy songs and cool concepts ughhhhhgh

17: what did you listen to before kpop?

alot of things tbh! it really varied like id listen to pop music from growing up like britney and nsync and destinys child and stuff but also more current faves like janelle monae and nicki minaj, stuff from my parents/also growing up like earth wind and fire and alot of jazz bc im a jazz pianist and also cause of my parents, and then stuff from shows/movies/etc that i liked! so alot of night vale weather and character songs and soundtracks n stuff like that. i think my favorite song before taemin’s danger came out in 2014 and dragged me back into the kpop hell pit was absentee by jack campbell 

20: how did you get into kpop?

oh man heres a fuckign STORYso my parents both worked alot most of my life (and still do) so as a kid i generally hung out with my friends’ families more than my own to be honest. so my two main best friends for the longest time were both korean and so as early as like… idk age 10 or 11 i was already kinda in the know more or less abt it and soaked up a bit of basic korean culture and media from them! and also i took korean at an after school organization thing in my town from age 7-12 and then took tutoring for a while but then quit bc i was too busy. so like i was 11 and being Laughed at by my friend bc i could never do the dance to roly poly by tara right. so my first favorite kpop group was the wonder girls (rip :( ;;;) back in maybe 2011? maybe earlier than that actually. and like besides them i knew abt shinee and super junior and kara and tara pretty much. but then my best friend (at the time and for most of my life up until around 8th grade) got REALLY into shinee. n so for a few years i sucked up random knowledge from her whilst in my gross weaboo phase just kinda like……lowkey…so i actually called myself a shawol in 2012 because i knew so much abt the group already and i liked a few songs particularly (JOJO. i fuckign LOVED jojo) and i even watched the first ep of hello bABY back then. (and i really loved those studpid....ayominho parody vids...like idk if u know like...hell no....and our contract is the lucifer....god) and so i was like……lowkey into kpop by then just as a side effect of being friends w/ this person. so then i went thru like a billion phases with that knowledge quietly in the background (7th grade: like every anime i could get my greasy little hands on, 8th grade: fucking hetalia, supernatural and dr who and a few animes and welcome to night vale and then my friend got into exo and i wasnt With It, 9th grade: supernatural, dr who, hetalia, wtnv, and then the RAPTURE OCCURED)so in early ninth grade i started getting into kpop again like For Real (2014) and it was all the fault of lee fucking taemin and cnblue. at first i was like haha thats kinda cheesy and dumb. boybands r dumb lol i h8 pop music! bc i was kind of in the alt rock crowd trying to blend in with them because they were cooler than me and of course i was lying to myself because ive liked cheesy bubblegum pop all my got damn life. so i only listened to ftisland and cnblue because they were k-ROCK not POP right. ok so i was super into cnblue and i dont regret that at all i love them Alot i loved lee jonghyun so much. and i think after that i started going thru like every shinee mv ever because of nostalgia from my friend and seventh grade adn all that? and i was like ok what the fuck. because the last time id really seen taemin he was like a Baby in 2012 and 2013 to me and so i watched the danger mv and 1- it was immediately my favorite song. and 2- i was like ok what the fuck hes Grown Up Now how long have i been Asleep. so then i got into shinee and quickly became a diehard shawol (and then got sorta into vixx and bts i think) rather than any other group and i think at first i was really interested in 2min and i was a taemin stan and then a jinki stan. (and i just looked in my archive and i can Tell that the day i officially became a True Official Diehard shawol was january 28th 2015 and i really fuckign loved 2min alot and i mean i still do but holy shit thats all i posted for a while hence my username) so yeah theres an extremely pointless overcomplicated answer for u??? jesus im sorry 

[biofunmy]

When Instagram Killed the Tabloid Star

Celebrity culture, in the first decade of this century, took the form of a kind of misogynistic death cult. Somewhere in Hollywood, Lindsay Lohan was falling out of an S.U.V. Tara Reid was falling out of a club nearby. It was open season on drunk girls. Flashbulbs alighted on their smeared mascara and slackened jaws. “Upskirt” photographs, in which a paparazzo literally stooped so low that he could snap under a woman’s skirt as she exited a car, were a genre unto themselves.

The strip of sidewalk between a chauffeured limousine and an unhooked velvet rope formed the line of scrimmage between the celebrities and the tabloid press. It was all motivated by an antagonistic but symbiotic relationship among the famous people, the paparazzi and the fans. We watched it all with a compulsive loathing.

Few could predict that, just a few years later, this era of Hollywood would inspire nostalgia. But it has. “Pop Culture Died in 2009,” curated by a young man who was in grade school when Britney Spears commandeered the clippers at a hair salon and shaved her head, resurrects the era’s Us Weekly spreads and pap shots on Tumblr, retelling old tabloid tales about Mischa Barton and Paris Hilton and the “Leave Britney Alone” guy. What happened in 2010? Instagram happened.

In October of that year, that free photo-sharing app with a hipster sheen hit the iPhone. Several months later, Justin Bieber — the biggest star to take to the platform — posted a moody shot of Los Angeles traffic, and suddenly, we weren’t snapping hungrily at the window of a famous person’s car anymore. We were in the passenger seat. As more celebrities signed up, we gained access to their kitchens and bedrooms and closets and bathrooms. Celebrity culture moved inside. It was domesticated. The paparazzi were left stranded on the pavement. Now Us Weekly just prints photographs that celebrities have uploaded to Instagram.

Instagram gave us a new way of seeing celebrities, drawing us closer to them both physically and psychologically. The images that Kim Kardashian and Kylie Jenner post there may seem like extensions of their reality television empire, but television only works in one direction: We watch it. On Instagram, we look and we post. We watch other people, and we watch ourselves.

We absorb the details of the Instagram star’s household décor, her contoured makeup, her photo angles and her Photoshop tweaks, and then we post our own images of our homes and faces and bodies that are informed by her example. Or we post in defiance of it. Often we seem to be fusing those two attitudes, creating photo mash-ups of beauty standards and deviations, chasing our individuality even as we eye the herd.

At the time of Instagram’s debut, Facebook existed for people to share words and photographs with their friends. But Instagram was built to be an open network. You were invited to follow everyone. Facebook photo sharing had been animated by our social connections, our family ties, our inside jokes and idiosyncrasies. The photos were presented for the pleasure and approval of the people we knew. But on Instagram, our sphere of influence blew up. Suddenly we were in league with rich people, beautiful people, famous people. We were all jostling on the same platform. The way we photograph sunsets, dinners, our children, ourselves: All are influenced by everyone else who is snapping and branding and uploading around us.

Along the way, the whole proposition of celebrity flipped. Regular people became a little bit famous for doing celebrity-like things: for how they appointed their homes and did their makeup and dressed themselves. Our cats and dogs became stars, and our domesticated raccoons, and our hedgehogs. This occurred on such a vast scale that it required a new word to describe these figures, one ensconced in a new form of commerce: “influencer.”

What have we become, the influencers and the influenced? We are not molding ourselves in the image of the messy, dangerous, glamorized train wrecks of a decade past. Instead, the domestic goddesses of Calabasas reign atop the platform.

While the Kardashians seem to come from similar stock as their tabloid predecessors — Kim Kardashian West was once Hilton’s assistant — they cut a very different figure. They represent not feminine destruction but feminine consumption. They are admired for amassing wealth and performing superior reputational and bodily maintenance. They have created a new cult of true womanhood, one in which the body can be endlessly upgraded for optimal sexual attractiveness even as it produces ever more offspring. When they are not posting boudoir shots to Instagram, they are assembling around vast kitchen islands with their broods. When these women do blow up, seeding tabloid stories about themselves, they are controlled demolitions.

The celebrity Instagram aesthetic represents the total fetishization of control. Everything can be art directed, down to the pixel. Everything can be airbrushed, down to the pore. Whole industries have scurried into the gap: skin care, photo editing apps, contour makeup, weight-loss scams, eyelash growth serums, injectable fillers. Now that famous women are in control of their own images, now that they have transitioned from object to subject, they have successfully supplanted the male gaze with a capitalist one: Tap on many Instagram photos and a cloud of brand names pops up, each plugged into a virtual shopping bag.

Kylie Jenner became a billionaire by receiving expensive cosmetic enhancements to her face and then selling cheap cosmetic enhancements to everyone else. The model Emily Ratajkowski has called her Instagram account a “sexy feminist magazine,” which she leverages to sell her line of bikinis.

Scrolling back through “Pop Culture Died in 2009” does provide a nostalgic kick. What you see in those images — and what has evaporated from celebrity culture in the age of Instagram — is a fundamental antagonism toward the Hollywood machine. Paparazzi captured moments where millions of dollars in movie contracts and branding deals were at risk of swirling into the gutter. They showed celebrities in a light that was not selected to make them appear as marketable as possible. Instagram is often accused of producing artificial images, but there’s something very honest about its commercial system. The celebrity used to offer a whiff of mystery. An influencer is just someone who is good at making other people buy things.

Sahred From Source link Fashion and Style

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[ipzl]

via EasyHealthTip Easy Health Tip https://ift.tt/2wRP7tY

Check out these cringeworthy and painfully embarrassing moments caught on tape! Subscribe: https://goo.gl/Hnoaw3 —————————————————————————————– Description: Everyone has those really embarrassing moments that we will never forget. I’m sure we can all recall of a time that we did something weird or by accident that might have made others laugh at the spot. Others might have easily forgotten about it, but you will forever remember the cringe-worthy experience even if it happened years ago.

However, can you imagine if millions of people remembered your same embarrassing moment too? When living life as a celebrity, you must be aware of how much your life is under the public eye. People watch you step on the red carpet looking all glamorous or handsome. But, one of the many downsides of being famous is everyone will be watching your bad moments too.

That’s why there is a very long list of celebrities who unfortunately had their worst moments captured on camera. Whether it’s a mental breakdown or simply falling down on the red carpet, these celebrities will never be able to forget what embarrassing things they did. The paparazzi, live cameras and even fans have seen their favorite stars do quite some unforgettable acts. Here are some poor celebrities who unfortunately had been under the public eye when the worst of the worst happened.

—————————————————————————————– Our Social Media: Facebook: http://bit.ly/2NRSsk0 Twitter: https://twitter.com/thetalko Instagram: http://bit.ly/2Da8Sjr —————————————————————————————– Featuring: Christina Aguilera Janet Jackson Jennifer Lawrence Ashlee Simpson Robin Thicke Jessica Simpson Ariana Grande Kelly Osbourne Fergie Justin Bieber Tara Reid Zac Efron Britney Spears Taylor Swift —————————————————————————————– For more videos and articles visit: http://bit.ly/2NRStEA

TheTalko is everything you ever wanted to know about fashion, celebrity lifestyle, fitness, health, relationships and the most interesting random occurrences in 5 minutes or less. Subscribe for 1 video every 2 days! source

The post Most Embarrassing Celebrity Fails You Have To See! appeared first on Easy Health Tip.

[emilyemcnabb]

Lynsey and Jeff’s weddding at Chaumette Vineyard & Winery

Lynsey and Jeff focused on making their day “cozy, personal, and fun” and ultimately felt that it’s what made their day special and unique. Chaumette Vineyard & Winery set the scene providing rolling hills for the ceremony backdrop and a barn for their warm and relaxed reception. We’re loving the purple-hued palette especially in the florals by  Snapdragon Studio and Lynsey’s applique, long sleeve gown by Tara Keely is a showstopper. The always-amazing Carretto Studio was behind the lens capturing all the details and moments of the couples big day.

What made the wedding special and unique?

We tried our best to focus on making sure our day was a true reflection of us as a couple. It’s so easy to get wrapped up in what you think other people will like and the newest wedding trends, but in the end, it’s a day for the two of you. When we were first looking at venues, we had to put a lot of thought into what we wanted our wedding to be and the “feel” we wanted it to have. We envisioned our day with our friends and family kicking their shoes off and letting loose. Cozy, personal, and fun. We kept this at the forefront during planning, and I think it made our day special and unique.

When we walked into The Barn at Chaumette we could immediately envision our friends on the dance floor and our families on the patio sharing drinks. It was intimate, warm, and laid back—perfect for what we had in mind. Also, it was unlike any wedding venue we had been to before.

We also tried to incorporate “us” into the details. The groomsmen lost the ties, we brought in the gooey butter cake (our favorite!), and the band covered all the hits of the 90’s. A few traditions may have been “missing”, but there was no shortage of glow sticks. The wedding party, including the bride and groom, joined our guests at cocktail hour, and dinner was served family style. If you ask us, it was special, unique, and perfect.

Tell us about the gown and where/how you found it!

 The dress was designed by Tara Keely and purchased from the Ultimate Bride in St. Louis, MO. After getting engaged, I started studying dresses in magazines (obviously) and fell in love with long-sleeve dresses. Specifically, I kept marking the dresses with sleeves, a sheath fit, and some lace. My “favorite” before shopping (i.e. based on pictures) was actually the dress I ended up choosing (love at first sight).

I went shopping with my mom, matron of honor, and maid of honor, and we were on the hunt for sleeves! This narrowed the search a ton. (Thank goodness, because there are so many gorgeous dresses to choose from and I needed help, as I can barely make a decision about what to order for dinner.) I actually tried on the dress and gave it some thought but didn’t really have the “feeling” or think, “this is one I need to try again.” In fact, I walked away that day having two favorites, neither of which was my dress. Because I couldn’t decide between those two on the spot, I decided to go home and sleep on it.

Thank goodness I did! A few days later, my mom suggested trying on the Tara Keely dress again. After letting it all sink in, I completely agreed, and my initial love for the dress returned. When we went back to the Ultimate Bride, they had my other “favorites” pulled. I asked them to pull the Tara Keely. When I put it on, I knew I had to have it. For the record, I wasn’t a crier when I “said yes to the dress;” I just wanted to dance around in it.

What were some special touches added to make the wedding personal?

 Veil – I wore my mom’s veil from when she and my dad got married in 1987.

Band – We had a rockin’ 90’s band called the Mixtapes from Springfield, Missouri. They played everything from Britney Spears to Rage Against the Machine. The party did not stop; everyone was on their feet!

Officiant – One of Jeff’s best friends officiated our wedding. I think this was a really special and personal touch. He’s hilarious, but also extremely well spoken and thoughtful. The day of the wedding was the first day Jeff and I heard the ceremony dialogue, and it was perfect. At one point, just before Jeff and I exchanged our vows, he had our bridal party take vows where they promised to always support our marriage. It wasn’t something I had seen before, and it was a great touch, as it included all of our friends who have been so special to us.

Cocktail Hour – Cocktail hour is typically when the wedding party scurries off for pictures or a party bus. We contemplated both, but due to everything being on-site, neither was really necessary. We ultimately decided to join our guests at cocktail hour and I’m so happy we did. Everyone came in to see us, and of course, we wanted to spend time with each person on our guest list. We decided, why hide away when we can extend the time we have with all of our loved ones in one place!

What was the most memorable part of the day?

 There are four moments that stand out to me: (1) the first look; (2) “I do” and the kiss; (3) the moments after the ceremony; and (4) the final songs of the reception.

A friend of ours had given the advice to pick out one moment before the big day to focus on. She explained how the whole day turns into one big blur, and encouraged us to work to remember our one chosen moment. Jeff and I talked about this prior to the big day. I had chosen the “I do” moment and our first kiss as a married couple. Jeff had chosen the first look. I really wanted to remember the moment he had chosen too, so I set out to focus on two parts of the day. I am so thankful we were given this advice. I feel like I can accurately reminisce on both of these moments, and I am so grateful.

The other moments, the time after the ceremony and the final songs of the reception, stuck with me as well.  After the ceremony, Jeff and I exited the area and spent about 10 minutes in solitude before joining our guests at cocktail hour. This was a private, relaxed moment Jeff and I were able to share, which stands out amidst the buzz of the wedding day. We were able to celebrate our marriage, just the two of us, and make sure we were connected to how special the day was before beginning the reception.

The final songs of the ceremony were so much fun! It was like everyone was exerting all of the fun they had left in them, knowing the day was nearly over. I’ll always remember the smiles on everyone’s faces, and dancing with all of our closest friends and family.

 Tell us how you met and became engaged.

Jeff and I met in law school at the University of Missouri. We were in the same section (i.e., we had every class together), but it took awhile for things to take off.

The first time we met we were at a law school social at a Columbia comedy club. We briefly exchanged names and small talk, but that was pretty much the extent of it. We were both meeting so many people and had just submerged ourselves into a new, overwhelming world made up of libraries and lectures.

Throughout the semester, we would exchange smiles or a casual, “how are you.” It wasn’t until the end of first semester that things started to happen. One of our professors was throwing a happy hour after class, and we finally exchanged more than a few words, including phone numbers. Things moved slowly at first, but eventually—full speed ahead. I was very independent and not looking for a serious relationship, but something was just different with him.

After meeting in our first year of law school, we were engaged by the end of our second year. On April 22nd, Jeff told me we were going out for my birthday. I had the weirdest feeling that whole day. I told myself, “No way, Lynsey. You are losing your mind!” We went to our favorite local restaurant, and then we proceeded to head downtown. He said we were going to meet some friends for drinks, but because we were running a little early, he suggested a walk. I immediately commented that my shoes were not comfortable and it was a really cold day for the end of April. He told me to suck it up, and he’d let me open my gift if I walked. Obviously I wanted whatever was in that bag, so we were off and walking! We walked around the Mizzou Quad, and took a seat (to rest my feet) on the columns. He gave me a card with the sweetest words I had ever read and then told me to close my eyes. When I opened them, he was down on one knee.  It was dark and I could hardly see, but the diamond was bright enough to make my heart jump.  I cried and called my parents and my two best friends before we headed to meet friends for drinks to celebrate!

Photography: Carretto Studio // Floral Design: Snapdragon Studio // Program, Menu, Table Numbers: Grace Designs DIY // Invitations: Minted // Venue: Chaumette Vineyard & Winery // Hair:  Sara Stephenson // Makeup:  Lauren Brewer // Cake: Russell’s on Macklind // Gown Designer: Tara Keely // Wedding Dress: The Ultimate Bride // Band: The Mixtapes // Catering: Chaumette Vineyard & Winery // Ceremony Music: Complete Wedding & Events // Bridesmaids’ Dresses: White House Black Market // Men’s Attire: Joseph A Bank

  The post Lynsey and Jeff’s weddding at Chaumette Vineyard & Winery appeared first on Grey Likes Weddings | Wedding Fashion & Inspiration | Best Wedding Blog.

[officialflowergirl]

this one said “not boring” so [sucks air thru teeth] we shall see

1. If you’ve ever tried drugs or alcohol, what was your reason for first trying it? to see what the big deal is and why everyone likes it so much. i kept saying i did it “for science” 2. Do you think you could ever have an abortion if you unexpectedly turned up pregnant right this second? absolutely lmao 3. If you were far from home and needed to sleep for the night, would you choose to rent a crappy motel room for $60 or sleep in your car for free? crappy motel 4. Is there a color shirt you’d NEVER wear? #a0a803 5. Is there a situation where you caved into peer pressure and regretted it? not,,rly 6. What is your favorite video game console? Why? i dont 7. Do you like vanilla candles? yes!! 8. Have you ever been in a relationship that was going great, and then suddenly something weird happened and you just KNEW it was going to be over soon? no 9. Would you ever bleach your hair platinum blonde? no but i would do pure white or silver 10. What are your plans for tomorrow? mope 11. What did you have for breakfast? pasta at 1:30pm with hot sauce 12. Have you had sex in 2013 yet? “yet” 13. Who last slept in your bed besides you? tara 14. What time did you wake up today? so late 15. How long until your next birthday? its nov 16. What was the last movie you watched? idr 17. If you could see any musician live, front row, who would you choose? britney duh 18. When did you last consume something that had peanut butter? weird but still boring 19. What’s the last song you heard? i’m skipping the boring ones. i decided. 22. Do you still talk to any of your ex’s? all of them! 29. Do you have more than $50 in your room? yes for emergencies 30. Are both of your blood parents still in your life? ones dead

[yuppiefail]

Cat Marnell and the Double-Edged Sword of Concern

I’ve always loved a hot mess. But just the girl ones. Can men be hot messes? I guess so but I find them boring. Probably because it’s so noncontroversial to be a male hot mess. It’s usually either straight-up sad or straight-up awesome. You’re either Corey Feldman or Leonardo DiCaprio. You’re either Late Show with David Letterman Joaquin Phoenix or Walk the Line Joaquin Phoenix.

But no man can be Cat Marnell, who interviewer Emily Gould says looks like a cross between two other hot messes, Emily Wurtzel of Prozac Nation and Tara Reid of American Pie.

I did not like the Gould interview of Cat Marnell. An ex once described me as “hypervigilant” about insults, which may or may not be true but the fact that he is the kind of person to say that, instead of, you know, “I’m sorry” after I told him something he said sounded insulting is why he’s my ex. As I read Gould condescend to Marnell in a way no one does to men, I felt insulted on her behalf.

Hot messes trigger our protective impulses. “She wound up writing a column that reliably generated news,” Gould wrote of Marnell. “Much of it from other websites that questioned her employers’ role in enabling her.” Did anyone wonder what role A&E played in Corey Feldman’s breakdown by giving him a reality show?

“There’s always a fine line between appreciating the art that someone’s making out of her fucked-up life and feeling like your attention makes you complicit in her self-destruction.” Did anyone who watched David Letterman interview Joaquin Phoenix wonder whether by watching it they were fanning the flames of the tire fire that was his career?

Hot messes are hard to look at and harder to ignore. You wouldn’t call a movie about a hard-drinking, sexually promiscuous man “Trainwreck,” a la Amy Schumer. Trainwreck is the word you think when Gould writes:

Curiosity about her (“Is she terrible?”) was mingled with a kind of guilty concern. “I don’t want to look sometimes,” a friend who follows her on Instagram told me.

We want to protect women, from others and from themselves, in a way we don’t want to protect men. So strong is our protective impulse that we expect the people around women to protect the ones we perceive to be in danger. Even when it’s not really their responsibility.

Former employer Jane Pratt told Gould plainly that she’d work with Marnell again in a heartbeat. And just when you think Gould couldn’t condescend to Marnell more, she asks Pratt whether keeping Marnell on staff and giving her a platform “and the health insurance that enabled her to fill her prescriptions” was helping her to harm herself. I have trouble imagining Gould ever calling a man’s former employer and asking him if he feels guilty for hiring him, keeping him on, and giving him health insurance.

It’s not that we don’t care as much about men. It’s that we trust men more to take care of themselves, to make choices they can live with.

When Gould writes, “She works what she calls the ‘wolf in bimbo’s clothing’ angle, though it’s not entirely clear why a wolf would want to adopt that particular disguise, it feels like an old-school British person describing an indigenous group. “One can’t imagine why the savages stretch their earlobes out. Absolutely bizzare.” It felt like Gould was describing Marnell misogynistically without ever evincing any awareness of the ways in which her own internalized misogyny might have colored Gould’s view of Marnell.

But Pratt falls into the same trap. Gould’s question assumes that it’s possible Pratt should have decided whether or not to employ Marnell based on what she thought was best for Marnell. This is incredibly condescending to both women. It assumes first that Pratt would know better than Marnell whether being employed or not is best for her. But it also assumes that Marnell’s best interests are more important than Pratt’s. That getting high-quality writing (and Pratt is clear that the work quality was high) for the magazine Pratt poured her blood, sweat, and tears into is less important than Pratt’s assessment of what is in Marnell’s best interest. This isn’t a fucking supper club. It’s a business. The fact that it’s two women doesn’t change fundamental nature of the employer/employee relationship.

But instead of questioning the fundamentally misogynistic assumptions behind the question, Pratt responds in a way that proves my point. “I worried about whether I was enabling her fairly constantly, particularly toward the end of her time on staff at xoJane when I was more aware of her self-destructive behaviors.”

  Some readers will take away from this post that Cathy Reisenwitz called Emily Gould a misogynist. “This cunt thinks that any woman who disagrees with her hates herself.” But there’s more to it than that. I’ll admit that I am hypervigilant about the unique ways women are condescended to, including by other women. I tend to respond to any attempt to take any autonomy away from any woman with “Misogyny!” Like when I said Amanda Bynes was just being weird and everyone needed to chill out and then it became apparent that she really did need help. Or, when I got mad that some dude, I can’t remember whether it was her dad or boyfriend, took control of Britney Spears’ money. Maybe access to a checkbook isn’t what you need when you’re in a state of mind where shaving your head seems like a good idea.

This person definitely doesn’t need help.

“She does tell me at some point that her dad is now in control of her money,’ Gould writes of Marnell. “I think immediately of Britney Spears.” Sometimes women really do need to be taken care of. Sometimes men need it too, and our conceptions of masculine toughness and individuality and our expectations that men provide and not depend on others (our toxic masculinity) keep them from asking for help and keep us from helping them before they ask.

But care is a double-edged sword. Swooping in to “help” before a woman really needs it deprives her of the freedom to find out how far she can go. And it deprives the rest of us of the things you can only create from the edge of safety and sanity. What have we missed out on because some woman’s boss said she can’t go to work until she goes to rehab? Probably not a lot, actually. But you get my point. “That’s too dangerous” is both a kind and understandable impulse and a straightjacket.

I want us to walk back further in both directions. I want it to be okay to save men sometimes. And I want it to be okay to not save women sometimes. I want people to feel okay letting women decide how to prioritize their health and happiness. I want women to feel justified in focusing on creating things that feel meaningful, and not feel like they have to save each other from themselves while they’re doing it.

  Cat Marnell and the Double-Edged Sword of Concern was originally published on