#what even is in groningen... literally nothing

[zevsarainai]

the fact that i have to go to groningen tomorrow..... sick and twisted

[somerandomdutchfangirl]

Hetalia Family Week - Day 1: Hobbies

This is my entry for @hetafamilyweek day 1 - hobbies (and hugs)

Summary:  They didn't have time for family hangouts often, with them being nations and all that, but whenever they did, it was safe to say it was the most fun any of them would have that week.

Sometimes, they would just go for a coffee or lunch or have a picnic. Other times, they would binge-watch a series while cuddling on the couch. And then, there were times like this.

This has also been posted to my a03!

Disclaimer: the opinions of the characters aren’t necessarily the authors opinion. Also, some of the sentences have been translated with Google Translate. If there is any mistake, please let me know and I'll fix as soon as possible! The translations are at the end.

Names used:

Willem = Netherlands

Femke = Belgium

Laurent = Luxembourg

Antonio = Spain

Matthew = Canada

Abel = Holland, @starflight-blog oc

Sjoerd = Friesland, @starflight-blog oc

Lieke = Groningen, @starflight-blog oc

Relevant headcanons time!  

- Femke owns a cat named Mika

- Matthew and Willem are married (see end notes for more info)

- Matthew uses he/they pronouns

:readmore:

They didn't have time for family hangouts often, with them being nations and all that, but whenever they did, it was safe to say it was the most fun any of them would have that week.

Sometimes, they would just go for a coffee or lunch or have a picnic. Other times, they would binge-watch a series while cuddling on the couch. And then, there were times like this.

"Can't you two sit still for like five minutes? If you want this painting to actually look good, you're gonna have to let me actually have time to paint you!"

"What if we want it to look like Picasso?"

"Laurent, hoepel een eind op, Picasso sucks and so do his paintings."

"Don't let Antonio hear you say that."

"Antonio can go fuck himself."

"Guys, let's keep this fun, alright? I want to enjoy this day," Femke chimed in. Willem huffed but didn't complain further. Laurent grinned and continued composing a piece for the harp standing next to him.  

(When Laurent had led them towards his "inspiration room" as he liked to call it, which was just a room filled with instruments, art supplies and more, both siblings had been filled with dread at the thought of Laurent playing the tuba, or god forbid, the trombone. Willem had said: "Laurent, I swear to god, if you're going to play the tuba or the trombone, I'm going to throw both you and the instrument out of the nearest window." To which Laurent had been a smartass and replied, "Can you even lift all that weight though?" That had ended up in a chase through the house that ended when Femke tackle-hugged both.)

The comfortable silence continued for a while, broken only by the occasional sigh from one of the siblings or Laurent trying the piece on the harp.

"Hey, Fem," Laurent walked up to her while he was taking a quick break, "What're you making?"

"Well, I'm trying to embroider our pets, but this stitch just won't work, godverdomme-"

"Maybe you should take a break and come back to it later? It's getting late anyway, we should eat dinner soon," Laurent suggested. Femke nodded. When no conformation came from Willem, they turned to him.

"Hey, earth to Willem! Did you hear what we just said?" Laurent asked, walking up to him and quickly stopping next to him. "Nondikass!" He exclaimed. "Willem, that looks amazing! How'd you do that in such a short time?!"

Femke, now curious, walked up to her brothers and peeked over their shoulders. "What the fuck, Willem," she gaped at the painting in front of her. It was clearly her and Laurent doing their respective hobbies, with beautiful lighting and background. The vibrant colours of the front of the painting was a stark contrast to the background, which had much softer tones. "You told us you were rusty! What part of this is rusty?!"

Willem, who was now looking more like a tomato, opened his mouth, no doubt to point out all the things that were wrong with it, but Laurent cut him off. "Nope, Mr. Perfectionist, you're not pointing out all the imperfections of this, and that's final. This is a masterpiece, seriously. Don't give me that look!"

"You know," Femke mused, "I might actually hang this in my house once it's dry."

"Guys," Willem said, flustered, "It's not that good. Really. Thanks for the compliments, but-"

"No buts!" Femke exclaimed at the same time Laurent yelled: "Not that good?!"

"Yeah, it's... the colour's off, the perspective is weird, and-"

"I am this close to actually strangling you with your scarf, Willem," Femke cut him off, her hands on her hips. "So what if it isn't perfect? That doesn't make it look any less amazing! I'll tell you what, we're gonna take a break, then we're going to come back here, and you'll see how amazing this actually looks."  

Willem looked at her for a few seconds before sighing. "Fine..."

"Now don't go around brooding like that, it's no fun," Laurent said while shooting Femke a quick thumbs-up. Femke grinned.

"Now, come on! I'll make waffles!"

---

"Hey, Matthew replied!" Laurent exclaimed, effectively cutting off Willems' story on the antics of Abel and Sjoerd.

(Apparently, they had gotten into a fight over who had the most creative curse words. This had ended in Abel singing along to the curse word song in Dutch, until Lieke walked in. Sjoerd had promptly slapped a hand over Abel's mouth to stop him from ‘tainting Lieke's innocence’. It was weird.)

"What do you mean?" Willem asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Well, dearest brother of mine," Laurent replied with a shit-eating grin, which did absolutely nothing to ease Willem's worries. "Because you didn't seem too convinced by us literally shouting how amazing your painting was, we decided to send a picture to Matthew-"

"You what?!"

"-to see what he thinks of it," Laurent continued, unfazed. "Since, you know, you seem to care a lot about what they think, about as much as you care about what we think? I mean I would hope so, considering we're your siblings, but-"

"You're getting off track, Laurent," Femke cut him off. "Anyway, we figured that if anyone other than us would manage to convince you that your painting is amazing, it's gonna be Matthew."

"I-"

"Don't even try to deny it. We went to your wedding, remember? We know how much you care about him. Which is a good thing, by the way. So, Laurent, what did they say?"

"Well, there's an all-caps keysmash, followed by an all-caps 'what?!'. Scratch that, basically everything is in caps. So, the general train of thought is 'what the fuck, this is beautiful, how the fuck did he do this, he calls this rusty?!' And finally, 'I love it 10/10 would hang in my living room and/or show off to my family and friends. It's beautiful and I'll physically fight him on that.'"

"Awww, that's so sweet! See, Willy, your painting truly is amazing!" Femke, sporting a somehow genuine but shit-eating grin, patted her brother on the back. Said brother had his head in his hands and may or may not be crying.

"I hate you two," came the muffled reply with no real heat behind it. Femke and Laurens laughed.

"We love you too, you softie! Now come on, who's ready to spend more time together!" Femke cheered, already halfway across the room.

---

"Jezus Christus, Femke, that looks amazing!" Willem said, looking at the embroidery his sister had made. It pictured their pets, Pelutze, Mika, and Nijntje. 

"Aww, thanks Willem!"

"Wait, let me see- wow, sis, this is really good! I love it!"  

"Thank you, Lau! By the way, is your composition nearly finished? I want to hear it!"

"Me too, actually."

"Well, it's not done yet, but I can play what I have so far?"

"Yes please!" Femke smiled.

Laurent sat down and started playing the piece of music he had written on the harp. Moving his fingers delicately along the strings, the beautiful melody carried along the room. Once he was done, he looked up.

"So... what did you think- Femke are you okay?!"

"Yeah, sorry, it's just... it's so beautiful!" Femke cried, flinging herself at Laurent and crushing him in a hug.  

"I agree with Femke, it was wonderful," Willem chimed in, walking over to his siblings. Femke quickly included him in the hug.

"You two are so talented, what the hell!"

"Fem, you're crushing me," Laurent gasped. "And don't you dare exclude yourself, have you seen what you just made?!"

"Yeah, but-"

"No buts, remember," Willem said, parroting her words back to her with a smirk.

"Why are you like this?"

Willem laughed at this. "You still love me despite it, though!"

"That's not an answer!"

"Is it not?"

"Absolutely not!"

"Guys, please stop. This is a stupid argument," Laurent rolled his eyes.

"Rolling your eyes at us? How rude, Lau," Willem said, locking him in a headlock and ruffling his hair.

"Hey, let me go!"

"Hmmm, let's see... Nope."

"Oh, come on! Fem, help me out here!"

Femke just laughed in response.

"Betrayal!" Laurent screeched, struggling to get out of his brother's headlock. Femke just laughed harder in response, almost falling over.

"You know, you could always just say the magic word to get out."

"The magic- What am I, five?"

"You certainly act like it sometimes."

"Fëck dech."

"Real mature, Laurent."

"Oh, like asking for the magic word is so mature."

"Absolutely. I haven't heard it yet, by the way. Femke, are you doing alright?" Willem asked, as his sister was now lying on the floor, tears streaming down her face. Gasping for air, she shook no.

"Seems like you'd better let me go before we make Femke choke," Laurent commented. Willem tsk-ed.

"Fine, fine. Fem, get up," he said, letting Laurent out of the headlock and extending a hand towards Femke.

"Give- give me a... minute," she said, still gasping for air. After she managed to get enough air in her lungs and not burst out laughing after she saw her brothers standing in front of her with worried (albeit semi-irritated) looks, she finally took Willem's offered hand.

"You two are utter morons."  

Willem gasped. "Are you hearing this, Laurent? Slander, complete and utter slander!"

"Well, she's right about one of us, and it isn't me."

"Laurent, ik tyf je de Noordzee in als je niet ophoudt-"

"Try me, old man-"

"Who're you calling old you little-"

''Oh for- hou uw bakkes! If this becomes another argument, I will smother both of you!''

''You wouldn't dare,'' Willem said. After a beat of silence and a fierce glare from Femke, he added: ''Would you?''

''I don't know, why don't you find out?''

''Fem, you're scaring me a bit here,'' Laurent said nervously. Femke hummed. Laurent looked at Willem, wide-eyed. Willem just looked back and shrugged.

''Could you even reach me though?'' Willem, who apparently had a death wish, asked.

Femke whipped around, glaring at her brother. Willem just glared back.

''Guys, no, no one's getting killed today,'' Laurent interjected. ''This is supposed to be a fun family meeting, remember? If there's any way anyone's going down,'' he added on, a devilish grin on his face as he slowly inched closer to his still glaring siblings, ''It's going to be this way!'' he yelled as he quickly poked Willem in his side, who immediately yelped and tried to get away. To no avail, because Femke quickly latched onto his arm and started poking him in his side too.  

''No, Fem, wait- What did I do to deserve this?!''

''Well, uh... you took the last waffle?''

''Are you asking me, or-'' Willem started to ask, then yelped again as his siblings started to tickle him.

''No! Please, mercy!''

''Hmmm, Lau, what do you think? Should we stop?'' Femke asked, looking at her younger brother.

''I don’t know, Fem,'' Laurent answered back, devilish grin still on his face. ''He hasn’t said the magic word yet.''

''Godverdomme, natuurlijk is dat het antwoord. Kut! Laurens, stop!''

''Hmm, let me think. Nee.''

Femke snickered. ''He looks like a worm, wiggling like that.''

''How the fuck-''

''Oh my god you're so right,'' Laurent said. ''Willem the worm,'' he started to say, but burst out laughing halfway through. Femke laid on top of Willem, wheezing. Willem, meanwhile, looked absolutely mortified.

''You two are so immature,'' he said.

''Says the guy currently laying on the floor because he's ticklish.''

''I will strangle you,'' Willem threatened.

''Try me, bit- Hey!'' Laurent started to say, before Willem had reached forward and pulled him besides him.

''You know, this is actually surprisingly comfortable,'' Femke commented after a beat of silence.

''No, you're heavy. Get off me- Lau don't you dare lay on top of Femke or I swear- oof!''

''Hmm? What was that?''

''I'll kill you.''

''Aw, we love you too!''

''... Ugh, fine, if I say it, will you get off?''

''Maybe!''

''You two are gremlins, oh my god. Fine, I love you too.''

''He said it! Lau, he said it!''

''Yeah yeah, we all heard it. Now get off me.''

''I mean... technically I never promised I'd get off-''

''Off. Now. Or I'll never bring you stroopwafels again.''

This earned him a scandalized gasp from both of his siblings.

''You’re so mean! How dare you deprive us of stroopwafels?!''

''You can't do that!''

''You two are impossible. I said off,'' Willem complained, trying to sit up. Which was hard, considering Femke was literally laying on top of him.  

''Say the magic word first.''

''Are you serious right now? Femke, we are not five.''

''So?''

''... Fine. Femke, can you please get the fuck off me?''

''Fine, close enough,'' she said as she got off Willem, who immediately took a deep breath.

''Finally, oh sweet air how much I've missed you.''

''You’re so weird. Anyway,'' Femke said, turning towards Laurent. ''You recorded the whole thing, right?''

Laurent laughed and rolled his eyes. ''Like you had to ask.''

Willem gaped at them, before jumping up. ''Godver- Laurent give that camera here, right now!''

''No, I don’t want to. I must say this is great blackmail material.''

''Laurent, als je nu niet die camera hier geeft, dan-''

''Du muss mech als éischt fänken!''

Needless to say, Willem ended up chasing Laurent through the house, Femke following closely behind. In the end, all three of them ended up in a dogpile on the couch, laughing. Yeah, family meetings were fun indeed.

-------------------------

Translations:

Hoepel een eind op (Dutch) = a nice(ish) way of saying ‘fuck off’ or ‘go away’

Godverdomme (Dutch, Flemish) = goddammit

Nondikass (Luxembourgish) = used as an exclaimation, meaning something like ‘damn’.

Jezus Christus (Dutch) = Jesus Christ

Fëck dech (Luxembourgish) = Screw you

Ik tyf je de Noordzee in als je niet ophoudt (Dutch) = I will throw you into the North Sea if you don't stop. (The word ‘tyf’ is pretty rude though, albeit used by a lot of teens in my experience, so I would not recommend going around actually saying this.)

Hou uw bakkes (Flemish) = shut up

Godverdomme, natuurlijk is dat het antwoord. Kut! (Dutch) = ‘Goddammit, of course that's the answer. Fuck!’ (even though the word 'kut’ doesn’t mean ‘fuck’, it's used as a replacement pretty often. The more accurate translation would be ‘vagina’, as that is literally what it means, but it's used as a curse word more often than not.)

Nee (Dutch, Flemish, Luxembourgish) = No

Laurent, als je nu niet die camera hier geeft, dan- = Laurent, if you don't give me the camera right now, then-

Du muss mech als éischt fänken! (Luxembourgish) = youre gonna have to catch me first!

Stroopwafels are a Dutch delicacy, I love them so much. Basically, they’re waffles with syrup in between. Google them for examples and probably a better explanation.

I am physically incapable of not adding in a sprinkle of NedCan. I'm sorry (but actually not really,, as stated, Willem and Matthew are married so technically Matthew is family- *gets smacked*)

The ending is more crack and longer than I intended because I have no self-control. Sue me.

Moral of the story: don't anger short ppl. They’re angrier cuz they’re closer to hell-

Yes Willem is ticklish, I said what I said.

Bonus scene: ''Wait, so if Willem is a worm, would Matthew be like... a moose?''

''I am begging you two to stop. Laurent, stop laughing!''

[phakjira198]

2020 Recap

Most people won’t reminisce the year 2020, but they’ll probably look back and think what a shitty year it was, with covid-19, lock-down and abysmal economy. But for me personally, 2020 wasn’t all too bad. I’ve learned a lot from this year. This year was like a roller coaster for me, a lot of ups and downs. A lot definitely happened, most of them are new things I’ve never experienced before. I mean, I think the reason why 2020 was not so bad for me is because I like who I am now. I think I’m a lot more stronger, a lot more confident, and a lot less tense than who I was in 2019 or earlier in 2020 itself. So here’s a list of recap of what happened and how it has changed me. 

JAN 

1. Stressing about a side project that I had with Pat, Ammy and Dao, called Thunder Bolt (I think) 

2. Went to Perth and Melbourne, Woo hooo. Perth was a lot of fun; we stayed at an AirBnB and cooked every night. The lamb chop was wicked. There was a bush-fire when we went to Melbourne but it was still fun. 

-> at this point I was so sick of Arts and Museum lol. (because I over did it in Tokyo last year 5555)

3. Exchange decision: debating between Dartmouth, USA and Groningen, Netherlands. Made countless list of pros and cons. In the end, I decided that I need the sun and can’t stand only 7 hours sunlight everyday for a month in Groningen, so choose Dartmouth instead. Anyway Him pissed me off so much about deciding where to go, peeps keep pressuring me to choose because my grade is high. In the end it doesn’t even fucking matter bitch, you just need to ace your interview, which I did and got a full score baby! 

-> I just remembered that my Mac went cra cra and I had to change my screen. Thank god that I had Apple care otherwise, I’ll have to pay like 21000 Baht, but instead I got it fixed for free eiei. Anyway, I went to Australia without my Mac and I think that’s probably the longest that I’ve gone without my mac. 

FEB 

1. Lot of school work, according to my monthly calendar 55555. Had to prep for the exchange interview and everything as well. And had champ thingy as well. 

2. Had a weird, random, study date-ish session with Pat. I don’t think he think of it as a date, he just wanted to study and I’m a somewhat useful resource ( or at least I hope so) -> because of working with him in Jan and like whatever the fuck happen in Feb, I started to develop a crush on him (again! jesus woman). But this time it was different, cause I actually told people about it, and by people I mean Tam 5555555. Anyway it was because on Valentine day, Tam, Por, Ohm, and I (we were all single, so sad) went out to celebrate the fact that we got to go to Dartmouth. And I was not very alcohol tolerant back then (notice the back then part, cause girl I can handle my alcohol nowadays 555), so when they asked me whether I liked someone or not, I hesitated and they spent the entire night try to figure out who. Later on that night when I got back home, I told Tam wa who 55555. But like it was just a crush, I didn’t like like him. Cause I don’t really know him well enough for me to “like” him. 

3. GOT MY FIRST CAR!!!!, aka Stacy. But haven’t really got the change to drive her yet 555555555. The story behind how I got the car sound very privileged. I didn’t noticed it at first, but then went I told Ming what happened, she was like what a rich people way, and I’m like oh yeahh. So I stopped telling the story 55555. Anyway, I’m gonna tell it here again cause only future Jessie will read this post. 

MAR 

1. Midterm during the first week: so nothing much, just studying 

2. Drove my car for the first time after mid-term. Took it to uni for like 3 times and then number 3 happened 

3. COVID-19 hit baby -> online studying ->  I was enjoying life as fuck. My introvert self was striving. I was playing piano, doing arts, keeping a bullet journal. Watching shit load amount of studio Ghibli and other movies. 

APRIL 

1. Pretty much the same as march. To be honest, they kinda merged together cause you can’t really tell time when you’re at home all the time. It’s just like school holiday. 

2. Cheesy Avocado. Worked a lot on this joint-project for my 3 classes (software engineering, database system, ICE capstone). Spend a lot of time calling with Tam, Party and Nat. Shout out to Party for being a good PM; we would have never finished the work without you, and if I was the PM I would have drove myself crazy until the work is finish, you really help my mental health 5555. 

3. Songkran that doesn’t feel like Songkran at all. Had all my classes as usually, and didn’t get leave my house. ToT 

MAY 

1. Final the first 2 weeks. Got a chance to work on a killer report for my history of animation class. I wrote an almost 20 pages report on “Whisper of the Heart”, a lot of it are my own analysis from scratch, so I’m very proud of it eiei. 

2. Prep for Agoda -> I was very lazy to do this. I procrastinated it to the very last minute and didn’t even finished it properly lol. 

3. Went out for lunch with friends for the first time since the pandemic at a Korean restaurant in Siam One. (Had a record driving time to Siam at 12 minutes I think) 

--> I think May was like boring af. Nothing really happened that much. 

JUNE 

1. Started my internship at Agoda as a data engineer in the Messaging team. It’s a part of a bigger team called Agoda Data Pipeline, and I worked on a project called improve Kafka Offset Monitoring, where I implement this new feature called “time lag”. I wrote a blog post about it but never actually posted on Medium 55555. It requires too much work man. But I first started the internship we had to work from home, because of covid-19, which was depressing as fuck. It was not fun at all!!! To top that off, it was difficult and I was lazy and just no no. Then we got to start working at the office on the 21 of June and that was a lot more fun and everything. I really enjoyed working there. 

2. Grandma passed away on the 19th of June. Thank god that I was working from home then cause I was crying my eyeballs out and it did not look pretty. But it wasn’t as bad as when P’Rin passed away (where I cry for non-stop 3 days and had to missed a trip that I was supposed to go on), because we were expecting it to happened. It was out of the blue or anything. The doctor asked whether we want to ฝอกไต her or not and the family agreed that we don’t want to put her through anymore pain, so we decided that we’re not going to do it. And the doctor said that if we’re not going to do it, then all we can do now is wait for her to go. I was in her room (well almost the entire family was) when her heart stopped beating and I think grandma was happy that we were all there. 

-> nothing much else. Just hangout with people, ทำบุญให้อาม่า and just work. 

JULY 

1. Continue with the internship. At the Internship they had this thing called the the intern pitched competition and my team fucking won. (I probably already covered this in another blog post, so I’m not going to get into the details here). Anyway, we won 6000 Baht and spent it a Japanese restaurant in Gaysorn Plaza. 

2. Finished up the internship project towards the end of the month. 

3. Went drinking multiple time at Groove 5555. 

AUG 

1. Went to Koh Kood, it was so goooddd (pun intended 5555). A couple of days  after the internship ended on the 5th of Aug. The trip itself was fabulous, pretty beach and fin food. But the weather itself wasn’t particularly good, but that’s okay. 

2. Started talking to a guy for the first time (Woo Hoo!). It was all fun and game until somebody loses their mind (and that somebody just happened to be me, SAD) But actually I haven’t lose my mind in August yet. August was a lot of fun, I really liked the version of myself was talking to him. I was open and honest and wasn’t afraid that he would judge me. We had like 3 cute calls, but that was it 55555555. I called him on his BD at midnight to wish him happy birthday; I was cute as fuck. Just think back about it is making me blush, and boy did I blushed a lot. I’ll probably write more on the experience later in another blog post. 

3. Started my senior year at uni. But this time it’s a little different because your home girl is a TA as well. I have the power to influences a the grade of a sophomore, felt powerful 555. We still had to do online studying, although I don’t really think it was necessary at that point, cause there wasn’t really new cases and people were out and about like normal just with their face masks on. The classes that I took this sem were good as well, I actually enjoy all of it, especially Stochastic and Optimisation, which makes me consider studying my master in Operation Research, but will still have to do more research on that 55555. 

4. Worked on the Global sustainable development SDG goal competition thingy, and we got into the final 10 rounds. But we didn’t win 5555555, but it was still great cause I made a new friend. (which is really rare for me 555) 

SEP 

1. Your home girl 20!!!! I’m now officially legal and can drink and buy alcohol in public casually, which I am enjoying 555555555. Let’s just say I drink now 555. Btw I cried the night I turned 20 because I didn’t want to. I don’t want to grow up and I don’t want to become an adult, but I guess we can’t avoid it and we’re just going to have to embrace it instead. Also I think I was crying as well because I expected something from prime, I don’t know what I was expecting and keep telling myself that I didn’t expect anything but that’s not true. I did. Anyway he sent me a voice message and was the first one to wish me happy birthday eiei. And you guess it, I blushed bitch. 

2. Shit also went to hell this month with the Prime stuff. Specifically on the 25th of September, where Millie told me that Prime told her that he likes her. And that he asked her to watch a movie and eat out (which he never did with me wtf bro). So when that happened we stopped talking, like literally stopped after that night. The last thing on our chat was me sending him the brown bear confetti at almost midnight on the 25th and that was it, we never texted each other again. Which was really sad ( I mean sad for me but and easy way out for him), because I never get to know what happened, why it happened, and I didn’t get to scream at his fucking face. I eventually did in a dream later in December, which leads to a fucking closure after a 3 long and depressing months. (I just want to say, Fuck you Prime) 

3.  Nothing else really happened that much but studying and love stuff. I was so fixated on the love stuff though 5555, but can you really blame me; it was my first time actually liking a guy not having a crush on him. (You know what just thinking about what happened my eyes are tearing up 555) 

--> Just 

OCT 

1. October was a month of tear. Jessie was experiencing her first heart break; earlier this year back in July, Jessie just told Millie that she has never experienced heart break before in her entire life, but now she does. What a growth man. I did not enjoy the experience one bit, it was depressing, and just bad for me in many aspect. I tried to summoned stone cold bitch Jessie and killed of soft Jessie, which ultimately lead to me feeling numb and just plain sad. I lost inspiration, I just don’t enjoy the little shit like I used to; let’s just say I was not in a particularly good place. The only way to maintain my mental health was to run. And thanks to the free personal training that I got from Mr.Prime when we were talking, I started running more. 

2. Midterm. Got full score for introduction to stochastic modelling bitches. I remember going to Sea life right after Stochastic exam and just try to get my shit together. I really thought that I had picked up the pieces together but I really hadn’t, it was only 2 and half weeks since it happened. I was rushing into healing too much and didn’t know that these things take time to heal. Screw you knw for telling me that it only took you a week to get over Tam, that was total bullshit, and I tried to used that as a fucking standard, which just killed me. 

3. Skinny Bitch Jessie emerged. I lose my appetite because of the heart break so I ate a lot less. Actually I think I consumed a normal amount of what an average human being should consumed, I just ate way too much before 55555. And like with all the running, my weight got down to like 50, 51, which is the skinniest I’ve ever been since I got to uni. Maybe even the skinniest I’ve ever been since year 11 as well.  

NOV 

1. Shopee GLP application. I didn’t get the job but it was a great experience. I learned what a case interview, and thinks it very oppa. The process of preparing for it was fun, but I wasn’t totally into it because I was still dead inside. And still have no passion, no inspiration, no motivation, no goal, and everything because of what happened in the last 2 months. The only reason why I wanted to job was because I wanted the money 5555555. 

2. Won DevDisrupt Hackathon 2020. Ter did most of the work though, but it was still a lot of fun, and something that I could add to my resume 5555. 

DEC

1. HAPPY JESSIE IS BACK BITCHES!!!! I LOVE December Jessie; she’s STRIVING. Thank god I got my shit sorted out before the end of the year. She is once again enjoying life, feeling inspired, and motivated. And she’s doing all this while she is dressed to the nine every single fucking day! 

[joneswilliam72]

What I learned at Eurosonic 2019

Once a year, a parallel universe that only exists ephemerally for three to four days sees the European music industry gathering in a seemingly unsuspicious Dutch town. That phenomenon is called Eurosonic.

Primarily seen as a networking battlefield for press, labels, PRs, managers, bookers, and every other weird creature attempting to feed off this demanding, sometimes even ungrateful lover that is the music business, the three-day festival is held in Groningen, a student city very close to Denmark — something you'll literally feel in your bones if you don't come properly equipped — that in mid-January is massively invaded by this strange yet adaptable fauna.

The format of the festival, which roughly consists of multiple showcases across an impressive number of venues, might be reminiscent of the likes of SXSW, but the secret weapon of Eurosonic (and what ultimately distinguishes it from similar events) is this amazing convergence of a multitude of languages, nationalities, and cultural references that inevitability make you reflect on what it means to be "European" — especially in this day and age of paradoxes that juxtapose hermetic nationalism with a growing transversal tolerance.

The focus is obviously the music, and with a massive number of bookers coming to do their shopping at Eurosonic, it also works as a preview of the upcoming festival season both act and trend-wise. As this was my first time at the event I tended to see the whole thing as a socio-anthropological study of sorts, and through a highly scientific method of (nearly) neutral observation, I seem to have reached a couple of primary conclusions about this fascinating ecosystem. Here's what I learned:

Pip Blom by Jorn Baars

- You can easily tell some of the stuff you'll be seeing a lot in the next festival line-ups: Fontaines D.C. are going to be huge and you'll hear about them everywhere. Boy Azooga are also part of The Next Big Hype™, as are Pip Blom and Black Midi.

- Some artists you were excited to see live will disappoint you and others you actually bumped into by accident will become instant crushes, which in spite of being a natural consequence of any live music festival is more deeply felt at Eurosonic.

- There will be sets whose music will hit a bit too close to home: I cried twice, at Michelle Davis & the Gospel Sessions and at Kompromat. I was sober(ish) on both occasions.

- Three pairs of socks is definitely the way to go. It's gonna get very cold and humid so prepare to feel like you're wet all the fucking time (not in a sexual or comfortable way).

- You'll inevitably end up missing some acts from your list due to physical needs alone: I had to give up on seeing Gurr (even if I caught a bit of their afternoon set at Martinikerk) because I desperately had to eat and was too far from the venue. No use crying over these decisions, you have to stand by them. So in a way Eurosonic is also a crash course on how to deal with music FOMO.

Gurr by Jorn Baars

- Ireland always seems to bring a group of incredibly eclectic, melody-driven acts weirdly non-proportional to the country's relatively bite-size area — no wonder they've won Eurovision so many times. My selection included a force of nature called Vulpynes, the feel-good Celtic-driven vocal harmonies of Pillow Queens, and of course Fontaines D.C. who I was unfortunately unable to see due to the ridiculously huge queue.

- Depending on your personal preferences and the way you craft your schedule, it can be both physically and mentally exhausting at times: you jump from bright, uplifting things directly to overwhelmingly downward-spiral ones, and the emotional rollercoaster can feel emotionally draining: going from Alessio Bondi's ray of sunshine vibe to Free Love's in-your-face energy was like temperature shock.

- You'll be checking stuff out due to their name alone: I kicked off day one with a band from Belarus called Weed & Dolphins who play a fun-paced Soviet stoner and regret nothing about my decision.

- Some acts will send you back in time for half an hour. That was the case of The Grand East, one of the many Dutch bands making a Eurosonic comeback, who built an ephemeral time machine to the 70s "I Am A Golden God" era, or personal favourite Juniore that brought massive 60s French surf vibes in their valise.

Juniore by Jorn Baars

- You might feel old at times when faced with some of the young performers' professionalism and maturity. Icelandic Kaelan Mikla look and sound like they've been doing this for twenty years and they're barely out of puberty. Seeing such a young band this tight and shit-serious about their métier definitely of gives you hope for the future.

- Afterparties have an organic way of imposing themselves on you: they will never happen the way you planned them to, and the best ones are those you suddenly find yourself at four in the morning, not quite remembering where you are or who brought you there. You must accept that it is so.

- Genuine fusion is replacing careless cultural appropriation throughout, with musicians respectfully recovering their own roots to reflect these uncannily global times we're living in: Portuguese Scúru Fitchádu mixes punk and metal with Cape Verdean funaná while Swiss duo Cyril Cyril delve deep into the singer's Lebanese ascent to bring an Eastern flavour to their psych melodies.

Cyril Cyril by Bart Heemskerk

- Some of the best acts are the least consensual ones: Le Villejuif Underground played the late night slot at the legendary Vera and dragged a very impressive crowd, but most of the people I talked to after the show either loved it or hated it. From my experience, it's always a good sign whenever a band is this divisive; I personally loved the Primal Scream's Screamadelica vibes and would be up for more in a second.

- But as every rule has its exception, the opposite also happens. Any Other's set at Vera was one of the festival highlights and a name everyone kept dropping throughout the evening (and over the following days). Although she has been frequently compared to Joni Mitchell and other folk singer-songwriters of the like, Adele Nigro is an artist in her own right and not a cheap wannabe pastiche. You'll be seeing her name everywhere soon enough as it's fairly obvious she'll be featured on major festival line-ups everywhere.

- You won't be sleeping much, so try to eat, stay hydrated, and rest whenever you can. The lack of sleep associated to the overwhelming number of concerts happening literally EVERYWHERE across town will contribute to the hallucination feeling you'll experience when you finally get home.

- Even if some things don't go according to plan (after all, does anything ever?) you'll be forever thankful for having taken part in such experience, and will vow to return the following year. With even warmer socks and possibly thermic underwear.

Yes, of course I gathered every artist I mention here in a single playlist so you don't have to. You can explore the full Eurosonic 2019 line-up over at esns.nl.

from The 405 http://bit.ly/2RaWnWq

[culturalsociologyblog-blog]

Cigarettes: the pollution of modern-day society?

By Inge Rots

Many will recognize the anecdote or at least a variant of it, in which people would tell about how back in their younger days, no one would be surprised if, on a party, the host would offer its guests plenty of cigarettes, in the same amount as there would be snacks or beer. Or how, when driving all the way to Spain for vacation, it would be ‘totally normal’ that the father of a young family would smoke inside of the car, while leaving the windows closed. Or how, during class, the teacher would continue smoking while at the same time explaining the workings of the Pythagorean theorem, even though the room would be filled with young, healthy, and above all, innocent children.

These memories stand in sharp contrast with the contemporary relationship of society with cigarettes, that has evolved over time. Currently, several developments coming from various groups of interest, seem to sharpen the debate, both about the question of smoking behavior as an individual choice versus individuals as being exploited and made addicted by the large tobacco industries, as well as the tension between a liberal versus a more conservative approach. For instance, in the month of October, in the Netherlands the campaign of “Stoptober” is being launched, stimulating people to throw away their packs of cigarettes and start living a healthier, nicotine- and smoke-free life (NOS, 2018). This fits within a line of tendencies that focuses on a (moral) reconsideration of what is the best, optimal way of living a healthy, as well as a conscious, sustainable life in which responsibility not just for oneself, but also for one’s surroundings is taken into account.  

What is more, since 2016, a large lobby against the tobacco industry, led by a well-known Dutch lawyer (De Volkskrant, 2018), is attempting to sue the big tobacco companies like Philip Morris from murder and attempted homicide, as they are claimed to be consciously making smokers addicted from an early age on, and in doing so, leave smokers without a real own voluntary choice in deciding whether or not to smoke. Rather, they are seen as ‘victims’ of the tobacco industry and should therefore be defended. Yet on the other hand, there is an increasing amount of local governments and campaigns throughout the Netherlands (as well as other countries) that is actively attempting to change smoking policies in public buildings, streets or entire cities, with the underlying aim of making smoking unacceptable and intolerable, in favor of all non-smokers. For example, the Rotterdam municipality wants to make the zone around its biggest hospital, Erasmus MC, smoke-free and with this, involve different institutions such as a high school as well in joining them (Morssinkhof, 2017). Moreover, the city of Groningen is actively attempting to shift the city into becoming even entirely smoke-free as a whole city. (NOS, 2018)

Particularly with the latter trend, the focus is shifting towards a further stigmatization, demonization and patronization of cigarette smoking, inclining towards the idea that smokers themselves are the ones to be blamed. This puts into question the tension between a more liberal versus a more conservative policy; should people be able to have freedom in making their own choices, or should their behavior be regulated? And how exactly are the boundaries within this tension divided? This will be further explored by viewing the phenomenon of smoking and smoking bans through the lens of structuralism.

The main idea of structuralism is that one can only understand something if the structure of relationships towards other elements that are relevant, is also taken into account and attempted to be understood, as only in their relationship towards one another, things will make sense. Thus, it is the structure that counts as meaningful in influencing how society perceives a particular phenomenon. As Cerulo’s (1998) study to newspaper reports on violence shows, it is not so much the content of the message that counts, but rather the context within which the message is presented, hence, the form or structure of the message, that influences the outcome and interpretation of the meaning. Speaking in McLuhan’s terms, “the medium is the message”. For instance, when media are reporting the news story about Rotterdam’s prospective smoking ban, initial differences in ‘sequencing’ could already be observed between different media organizations, resulting in differences in the emphasis on either people on the streets being interviewed about their opinion on the new smoking restrictions, or interviewing for instance the politicians behind the new policy, resulting in different interpretations that either emphasize the stigmatizing of smokers, or the banning of the tobacco industry.

The way in which a society perceives its citizens’ smoking habits, hence, its perception, is a socially mediated mechanism, meaning that nothing one is confronted with can be viewed unprejudiced, as every scheme with which one views the world is based on prior experiences that form expectations of how to approach something new that comes on an individual’s path (Zerubavel, 1997). Hence, the mental lens with which one looks at and interprets the surrounding world, in an attempt to find patterns and categorize knowledge and information in such a way that it fits into our schemes (Douglas, 1990), one is always unconsciously influenced by the social background and context one is placed in (Zerubavel, 1997). For instance, this has (and is still being done) on a large scale by conscious advertising, but also by priming techniques in cinema and on television, that help normalize and stimulate the smoking of cigarettes. Castaldelli-Maia, Ventriglio and Bhugra (2015) explain how particularly in the twentieth century, cinema has played a relevant role in encouraging or even propagating smoking behavior through the direct association with smoking being ‘glamorous’ and luxury, even connecting cigarettes to prominent, classic cinema characters, and in doing so, making tobacco companies benefit greatly from this. It took only until the end of the previous century before it became clear how this promotion of cigarettes through advertising was part of a large-scale effort to hide the real damages of smoking on health (Castaldelli-Maia et al., 2015). In the US, an agreement on banning conscious smoking advertisements in cinema happened in the late nineties, reflecting a historical shift of mental lenses (Zerubavel, 1997), a shift from classifying smoking as normalized towards classifying it as ‘morally bad’. With more knowledge on the deteriorating effects of cigarettes on one’s health, steered and influenced by large developments in health science that are subject to socio-political changes, old facts were subject to a re-examination and re-interpretation, as the marker of a shift into the stigmatization of smoking (Zerubavel, 1997).

This new mental lens through which the majority of society now considers smoking behavior as something bad, favors the smoking bans that are rapidly increasing worldwide (Castaldelli-Maia et al., 2015). Yet, despite of the positive impact of this new legislation, it simultaneously targets the group of smokers with a feeling of being discriminated through a growing public stigma on their behavior, as it has now gained the status of being socially undesirable (Castaldelli-Maia et al., 2015). Yet, as has become clear, this should be considered as being relative and symbolic, since although there is a general agreement upon the idea that smoking is bad for one’s health, “what may be a stigmatizing characteristic in one era may not be in another” (Dovido, Major, & Crocker, 2000 as cited in Farrimond & Joffe, 2006, p. 482).

Nevertheless, although being symbolic, the consequences are not less real: Farrimond & Joffe (2006) show that stigmatization is even becoming bigger with the segregating of public spaces into smoking versus non-smoking areas. What is more, their study shows that non-smokers tend to classify smokers as ‘pollutive’, not only dirtying themselves with the toxic, unhealthy ingredients of cigarettes, but also polluting their environment and especially the non-smoking group of people around them (Farrimond & Joffe, 2006). This fits not only metaphorically, but also literally within Mary Douglas’ idea (1990) that our pollution behavior is a reaction towards anything that contradicts with the classifications within our mental scheme.

Lastly, a structuralist view on smoking behavior adheres to the binary opposition of the ‘good’ non-smokers versus the ‘bad’ smokers not only meaningfulness, as they could not exist without one another, but moreover, it reveals some kind of pollution power (Douglas, 1990) in which this division of society into ‘healthy’ (mostly dominated with middle-class) versus ‘unhealthy’ (not represented by middle-class) becomes a means of legitimizing dominance of this middle-class and thus, serves as a means to reinforce already existing power relations and reproduces a social inequality (Farrimond & Joffe, 2006). Yet, as Douglas mentions, pollutions are fortunately often remedied relatively simply, and the effects can be undone through certain rites, as could be seen with the introduction of the Stoptober campaign. And also, as one man on the street, interviewed by a reporting team argues, there is pollution in the air that we should be really worried about, hence, this said pollutive behavior by the smokers is in this light only relative and symbolic.

 References

Castaldelli-Maia, J.M., Ventriglio, A., & Bhugra, D. (2016). Tobacco smoking: From ‘glamour’ to ‘stigma’. A comprehensive review. Psychiatry and Clinical Neurosciences, 70, 24–33.

Cerulo, K. (1998). Deciphering violence: The cognitive structure of right and wrong. In: Lyn Spillman (ed.). Cultural sociology. Maiden, MA: Blackwell.

De Volkskrant. (2018, February 22). OM ziet geen mogelijkheid tabaksfabrikanten te vervolgen – Advocaat Ficq stapt naar gerechtshof. De Volkskrant. Retrieved from https://www.volkskrant.nl/wetenschap/om-ziet-geen-mogelijkheid-tabaksfabrikanten-te-vervolgen-advocaat-ficq-stapt-naar-gerechtshof~b3a9550a/

Douglas, M. (1990). Symbolic pollution. In: Jeffrey Alexander and Steven Seidman (Eds.). Culture and   society: Contemporary debates. Cambridge, MA:  Cambridge University Press.

Farrimond, H.R., & Joffe, H. (2006). Pollution, Peril and Poverty: A British Study of the Stigmatization of Smokers. Journal of Community & Applied Social Psychology, 16, 481–491.

Morssinkhof, L. (2017, July 23). Groningen wil eerste rookvrije stad van Nederland worden. NOS. Retrieved from https://nos.nl/artikel/2184599-groningen-wil-eerste-rookvrije-stad-van-nederland-worden.html

NOS. (2018, August 3). Gaan we langzaam naar een compleet rookverbod? NOS. Retrieved from https://nos.nl/nieuwsuur/artikel/2244453-gaan-we-langzaam-naar-een-compleet-rookverbod.html

NOS. (2018, September 30). Verliefd geworden in Stoptoberhuis, maar stoppen met roken lukte niet. NOS. Retrieved from https://nos.nl/artikel/2252815-verliefd-geworden-in-stoptoberhuis-maar-stoppen-met-roken-lukte-niet.html

Zerubavel, E. (1997). Social mindscapes: An invitation to cognitive sociology. Cambridge, MA:   Harvard University Press.