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helgabatwrittings · 3 years

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When your world comes crashing down don't cry

Chapter 2: Running

AO3

He glanced once again at Adrien, who was still staring right ahead, frozen in some kind of spell that has been affecting him for almost a week now. He wasn’t even writing down anything, in his somehow simultaneously messy and tidy notes. And Adrien always participated in Physics class. He would bounce his leg in excitement while quickly solving all the different problems assigned to them, making Nino wonder, more than once, if he was one of those genius kids he sometimes read about on the internet. But now? He was just staring, the only sign of life from him were the occasional trembling sighs and the subtle shakiness of his hands.

Nino was absolutely certain that something was going on with his best friend. If he were to describe the major shift in Adrien’s behaviour from last week to this one in just one word, he would choose the word “slow”. Everything Adrien did now was slower than anything he had seen from the boy. The way he would take a couple of seconds to answer whatever Nino asked him, how he would trail behind him and the girls when they walked together through the halls of the school, the time Adrien took to look him in the eyes as if he was gathering the courage to do so.

Something was wrong and Nino, no matter how hard he tried, didn’t seem to be going anywhere in finding out what… in trying to help his best friend…

His leg was bouncing up and down, both in frustration and anxiety. Something was very wrong with Adrien, and he kept pretending he was fine! Even now, when Adrien was clearly pretending to be paying attention to class, Nino could tell that he was nowhere near that classroom. Heck! Even Miss Mendeleiev could tell it by the worried and subtle glances she kept throwing at Adrien. So yeah, this was serious if even Miss Mendeleiev was concerned.

The class was silent, except for the occasional whispers that could be heard, it was usually quiet, due to the strict style Miss Mendeleiev loved to adopt, so it’s not like anything was out of place. Nino looked around. Kim was subtlety passing a note to Alix who sat in front of him, while Max kept writing down the Gravity formulas that were on the blackboard. Rose and Juleka were quietly whispering between them, shy blushes and soft giggles could be observed if one was attentive enough. Nathaniel kept his head bowed down, probably drawing some doodles for his comic.

Nino looked behind him, noticing that Marinette’s eyes were completely fixed at the back of his bro’s head, her face twisted with the same concerned frown Nino was probably sporting as well. Alya noticed him staring and smiled adoringly at him to which he answered with a smile of his own.

Like he had read Nino’s mind, Adrien finally moved his head, looking down at his hands, and quickly shoved them under the desk.

Nino knew that this lesson was of extreme importance for their test next week. He knew that, and he also knew that unlike the blond sitting right beside him, he sucked at physics, so he really should be absorbing every piece of wisdom Miss Mendeleiev was sharing with them. But no matter how much he tried, his eyes couldn’t drift from the still image of his best friend. Even his blinks were slow, and… wait a second… Nino’s eyes narrowed to better focus on a small detail they caught. Was that powder on Adrien’s face? Was Adrien wearing make-up? He only wore make-up when he was trying to hide the tiredness on his face, it was always applied so lightly that it was almost imperceptible, but this one was obvious, it was so so obvious…

Something was definitely going on…

Riiiiiiiiiiiing

Nino jumped in his seat. The class was officially over, and he didn’t listen to a single word Miss Mendeleiev had said. He was so screwed for next week test…

He started packing all his stuff into his backpack, while Adrien just stood there, still frozen in the same spell that had overtaken him during class. When Nino finally tore his gaze away from his bro, he saw Alya and Marinette standing right in front of their desk, Marinette was frowning at Adrien, her face was pensive as if trying to come up for an explanation to Adrien’s odd behaviour, while Alya started to snap her fingers right in front of his face.

“Earth to Sunshine!” She called. Nino saw him slowly raise his head in Alya’s direction, seemingly looking past her.

Nino raised his hand to rest on Adrien’s shoulder, which made the other boy flinch and jump in his seat like a scared cat, he immediately retracted his hand. “Hey, dude, is everything okay?” He finally asked.

Green eyes suddenly turned to him, misty and full of sorrow, and Nino finally saw the mask crumbling down. He finally saw the exhaustion emanating in huge waves from Adrien’s inner core.

Adrien then snapped his head in Marinette’s direction, then Alya’s, then Nino’s again. He suddenly stood, and haphazardly shoved all the scattered papers and books inside his messenger’s bag, “I have to go”, he muttered, and without giving them any chance to even react to his sudden burst of energy, he bolted out of the classroom.

“What was that?” Alya asked perplexed.

Nino sighed.

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The violent wind hitting his face felt like a blessing, while Adrien, now in the safety that being Chat Noir brought him, ran across the Parisian rooftops. It kept him awake, it gave him a boost of energy even though his lungs were burning, and all his muscles were screaming from the exertion.

He should have gone back to school, he still had more classes for the day, but he physically couldn’t go back to that classroom and face his friends. The memory of Alya’s, Marinette’s and Nino’s frowns was enough to make his stomach fold in itself, threatening to expel all the little contents inside.

The violent vibration coming from the impact of his baton against the rooftop quickly spread throughout his arms, furthering straining his increasingly weak muscles.

“Ladybug thinks he’s obnoxious, and she’s right!”

All his forces vanished, making him lose his grip on the baton. The velocity in which he was running made him fly across the rooftop with no support whatsoever. He crashed against the black rooftop, his body rolling over it, being only propelled by inertia.

His body finally hit the brick wall of a chimney, and even though Adrien was wearing a super-suit, and his resistance was considerably more significant than if he was untransformed, every single part of him still seemed to be protesting in pain, rendering him immobile, lying down in foetal position with his back resting against that final chimney.

Being Chat Noir used to grant him the freedom he has always craved. He was free from all the press, all the people who chased after Adrien as if they knew him better than he knew himself. He was free from all the expectations, all the demands, all the disappointed looks his father threw at him. He could be whoever he wanted as Chat Noir, and so he pretended and pretended, clowning around, because no one expected anything from him, so he was free to do whatever he wanted, to say whatever he was thinking.

All his troubles would be left behind as soon as he said the magical words, but of course, he knew that they would catch up to him eventually because he was still Adrien underneath that black mask. It was easier to pretend though. And so, he acted and acted, until the act became the person, and he didn’t know who he was anymore. Who was he kidding? He never really knew who he was.

Adrien released a shaky breath. His back was killing him, and the left side of his hip was burning. He would have to apply so much concealer to hide the bruises that have for sure started to form.

Being Chat Noir used to be a blessing in his everyday life, a getaway from being Adrien. But now? It was starting to feel more like a curse. All because of Adrien’s problems, Adrien’s inner defects have caught up to Chat Noir.

Adrien wasn’t trustworthy, he knew that from the way his parents have always pretended that his mum was perfectly fine even though she was bedridden most of the time, that last year she was still around. He knew that from how his father would still not tell him anything about what happened to her. From how they didn’t trust him around other kids, thinking he was just a porcelain doll that would break at the slightest touch. How his father still wouldn’t trust him with Nathalie’s condition. And so, because Adrien wasn’t trustworthy, and Adrien and Chat Noir were the same person, Chat Noir wasn’t trustworthy. And that was why Ladybug was hiding so much from him.

Adrien was unlovable. He could tell by the way his father looked at him, with so much disdain, as if it would be better that he was gone instead of his mother, and perhaps he was right. Perhaps everyone would be better off without him in the pic-

His ring beeped suddenly as if it was trying to stop his downward spiralling thoughts. Adrien slowly raised his hand to his eyes’ level, pondering if he really deserved to be Chat Noir.

No one seemed to like Chat Noir, no one seemed to need him. Not even Ladybug. Ladybug is amazing, she has all those other superheroes to help her, and lately, she has been relying on them more and more, rendering him useless. He didn’t even use cataclysm in some of the last missions. Heck, Rena was already giving him orders and making plans with Ladybug.

They seemed to be so close lately. Adrien wouldn’t be surprised if Ladybug decided to tell her her secret identity, before telling him. And Adrien wouldn’t really condemn her. Rena was a far more competent partner than he ever was.

His breaths started to get more frantic for the third time that day. He had lost everyone. Ladybug, Nathalie, Kagami, Chloé, even Nino. Nino was his best friend, but he hated Chat Noir, who was a part of him, so if he found out his identity, what would that mean for their friendship?

And maybe he’s being overdramatic like he’s prone to be, and Nino really was only mad because he thought Aya was cheating on him, but could Adrien really risk it? Could Adrien ever tell him his secret and risk losing him as a friend because Nino really hates Chat Noir?

He felt like he was going to throw up, the lodge in his throat seemed to be the only thing stopping it.

A sudden flash of green light enveloped him, and the pain from his fall seemed to have doubled, which interrupted the train wreck that his mind had caught itself in. The pain was good. It distracted him. It was good.

A dark shadow flew across his blurry vision, and he felt something hit his wet face.

“-rien” He squinted at the shadow that seemed to be speaking. Adrien is going crazy. He finally snapped and this is how his fractured mind is showing him just how broken it is.

“Adrien, kid, c’mon!”

Plagg was frantically waving his little paws right in from of his eyes. His leg was vibrating.

Adrien further curled in himself, shielding himself from the cold wind that was sweeping through Paris. Shielding himself from all the voices laughing at him for being the joke he is.

“Kid, please say something, blink at me, anything! Let me know you’re here!” Green eyes slowly drifted to Plagg.

“Pl-Plagg…” God, his voice was trembling so much. Speaking was taking an awfully pained effort.

“Your phone is ringing, it’s that hat boy.” Plagg was holding his phone after diving into Adrien’s pocket. “Please, Adrien, speak to someone, anyone!”

“I can’t… He hates me…” He couldn’t look at his phone. His eyes drifting everywhere but the black blob in front of him.

“He doesn’t, I promise you that he doesn’t! Please, talk to him, Adrien!” Plagg cried, further pushing the phone to his face. Nino’s face was highlighted as he tried to videocall him.

The device kept vibrating. Adrien weakly grabbed it, but it fell to the floor as if his fingers had stopped working and lost all sense of how to grip an object. It hit his leg on the way, which seemed to have softened the fall, so the phone didn’t break. His leg though had just earned one more bruise for the collection.

Adrien’s mind was too sluggish, like an old car running its last miles, that it took him a while to realise that a new voice had joined him and Plagg on the rooftop.

#miraculous fanfic #miraculous ladybug #hope you like it #suicidal thoughts #depression #adrien agreste #Nino lahiffe

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dakt37 · 3 years

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Avengers Assemble - Feral Outlaw Stony

So I've been expanding on this concept I doodled before Christmas, where Steve goes with Tony into the no-tech dimension at the end of season 3. Probably a lot of stuff isn't canon-compliant (beyond the obvious change that is), but "It's an AU so I do what I want" rules apply. Anyway.

The tl;dr is: The two of them spend a little time puttering around the weird no-tech dimension, and then get absorbed into Battleworld. They become explorers, helping people out and falling in love along the way.

(Once again, I feel like someone must have had this idea already, but I’ve never looked.)

Cut for excessive rambling.

~~~

Not all the areas we see in the show are present in Battleworld when Steve and Tony first arrive, so the boys spend most of their time traveling around, mapping the place out as it expands. A lot of my ideas rely on them still having little-to-no access to modern conveniences. Obviously someplace modern has to show up for them to get their hands on a pickup truck and a motorcycle, but I’m picturing a post-apocalyptic junkyard that’s been picked clean of anything obviously useful. They get the vehicles working by sheer force of “I’m Tony-fucking-Stark.” But like that fully functional NYC area is way too convenient, so it’s not around yet. (tbh I’m not even sure if it’s an alternate NYC or theirs, in which case it wouldn’t show up until the other Avengers do anyway)

They get the low-down on the "Battleworld" concept by eavesdropping on one of Beyonder's* welcome speeches. They realize that they are uniquely off the grid, because Beyonder didn't know they were in the no-tech dimension when he added it to Battleworld. They decide it's advantageous to maintain this secret status, but they're still Avengers™️ so they can't NOT help out wherever they can. But they don’t stick around any one place for long. Basically, they become vagrant vigilantes in addition to surveyors. They get a lot of their “stuff” (clothes, tools, toiletries, etc) as payment for odd jobs, or gifts from grateful locals they rescue. They get some food from populated areas as well, but also rely on foraging and hunting while on the lam. They have definitely eaten dinosaur at some point.

(*He doesn't get the nickname "Beyonder" until the other Avengers show up. In this AU Steve and Tony refer to him as "The Entity" or "Suspenders." You can probably guess who tends to use which.)

On top of the survival story, it's also a getting-together story. Steve and Tony flirt and pine and bicker and flirt some more, until a squabble turns into a confession and they finally start kissing. There’s plenty of time for “it’s cold in this wasteland and we only have one blanket, oh no,” but they’re firmly established as romantically involved by the time the other Avengers show up and they have the final showdown with Beyonder.

Anyway a lot of the AU notes I've been making are about the functional side of their Big Camping Adventure. So here's a bunch of lists about vehicles, gadgets, and navigation.

Vehicle stuff:

If Tony is riding passenger on the motorcycle, he can clip his repulsor boots into special footrests that reroute the energy and give the bike a speed boost.

The bike has a tow cable. Steve can harpoon things using a spring-action firing mechanism, including cliff faces to help him scale steep terrain. The cable can also be uncoiled manually, like when Tony takes flight while holding the end so he and Steve can clothesline hostiles.

Steve can stick his shield several places on the bike depending on what’s convenient. On the front as a windscreen/battering ram, on one side for easy grabbing, and even on Tony’s backpack so Tony can snuggle in properly while riding passenger and keep both their backs protected.

They probably don’t even need a ramp to get the bike into the bed of the pickup. Steve just picks it up and puts it there.

The evolution of Marsha (the truck) into a full Hulkbuster-style mech takes a long time. For the majority of their time in Battleworld, it’s just a truck with an ever-increasing number of weird add-ons.

Marsha can function as a tiny camper home. The cargo bed liner is a false bottom, which can be pulled up and rearranged to form a cover/roof. Underneath the liner, the actual truck bed is about a foot deeper, with most of that storage space taken up by a mattress and bedding.

Tony can pull a cable out of Marsha’s steering column and plug it directly into his arc reactor. This unlocks extra features and weapons. He generally has things balanced so that Marsha drawing power doesn't affect him any more than his armor drawing power would. But on rare and desperate occasions, he can overclock and hurt himself. Steve of course hates when he does this.

Turnabout is fair play though: at least once, something else damaged the arc reactor, so Tony plugged into Marsha to draw power from the battery for his electromagnet while he repaired the arc.

Gasoline can be difficult to procure, so both vehicles are hybrids. Tony just keeps adding new power conversion elements as they go along, based on what they can find.

F in chat for Tony’s armor:

Tony dismantles the armor he’d been wearing when they first went into the no-tech dimension.

Obviously he keeps skeletal versions of the repulsor boots and gloves in-tact enough to function.

He also keeps most of the helmet, for when he’s riding with Steve on the motorcycle. Mostly because Steve insisted. It's gutted of tech though, so if the faceplate stays as part of the design, the eyes are just holes (like in the classic comics).

The rest of the pieces are kept in a large packing trunk.

Tony repurposes some parts into useful gadgets for himself and Cap, plus the odd toy for other Avengers (like Widow’s new stinger gauntlets) because he’s optimistic like that.

Electronics use precious metals like gold and copper, so Tony scrapes some out to pay for things in certain areas of Battleworld, like the cowboy town or the pirate area. He might also barter with other general bits like wires and screws, but he avoids parting with any actual full tech.

Plug-n-play Gadgets

Since the power draw for Tony's electromagnet is actually fairly minimal, Tony makes use of the arc reactor as a charging station, mostly when he sleeps. It's not like there's a corner store they can drop by to get a pack of batteries. Things he charges include (but are not limited to):

Flashlight for Steve. The bulbs for it came from the eyes in the Iron Man helmet. Note: Tony doesn't need a flashlight himself because he can turn up his arc brightness apparently, lmao.

Camp stove. Steve questioned Tony building one for a hot second because hello we can build campfires to cook over? But then it’s raining and they're in a cave and Tony is like, "if you fill this space with smoke I will divorce you before we're even married." And Steve is like "camp stove wow yes okay." Also they had camp stoves in WW2 so honestly it was simply a Himbo Moment to disregard the virtues of one in the first place.

Walkie talkies. I know they had Avengers comms but I like the aesthetic of walkie talkies more. Maybe the comms relied on satellites that they obviously don't have anymore or something.

Navigation:

Speaking of a lack of satellites, the GPS in Tony’s armor is rendered useless. Steve is real smug about it and pulls out his old-fashioned compass. But Battleworld also doesn’t have proper poles, so it just spins wildly for a few seconds and then points at Tony’s electromagnet. Not to be deterred, Steve declares, “Well, you’re never lost if you can find Polaris.” They look up and realize that the night sky, despite having stars and a moon, is not at all arranged the way it is on Earth.

Tony takes this as a Challenge. He builds a sextant, then spends the next several nights in a row muttering math under his breath as he painstakingly creates a hand-drawn star chart. This, combined with landmarks, becomes the primary way they orient themselves as they roam around Battleworld.

Many nights, Steve and Tony lie in the bed of the pickup together and make up constellations named after other Avengers and friends. Steve makes a copy of Tony’s star chart and sketches artistic renditions of the constellations on top. To close this post with an interesting visual, here’s an example of what Tony’s star map might look like vs what Steve’s would more resemble:

#avengers assemble #avengers assemble AU #battleworld AU #Feral Outlaw Stony AU #stevetony #dakity yaks #Dakt rambles about Avengers stuff #long post

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h2bakugou · 5 years

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crush-contact | katsuki bakugou

summary: you’d been crushing on bakugou for a while, and well, to be honest, he’d never even looked at you. up until bakugou bumped into you, sending papers flying onto the ground, he had no clue who you were, and he realized he was in for a hell of a ride.

all characters aged 18+ au!!

a/n: this idea is terrible please forgive me, feel free to requests stuff, smut takes a little more time than fluff but I’m down to write it. this is also really long i get carried away with the plot sometimes

key: (y/n) - your name / (f/n) - first name / (l/n) - last name / (e/c) - eye color / (h/c) - hair color / (y/q) - your quirk

warnings: swearing, smut, fluff

word count: 2,827

»»————-　★　————-««

Class 1-A was decent sized. You sat in the back, with no intention of being noticed. You barely spoke to anyone, besides Uraraka and Midoriya. They were nice.

You were crushing on Bakugou. You couldn’t help it. He was attractive, no doubt, and there seemed to be so much more to him than he let on.

For years, you watched him grow, his attitude rarely changing. And now you were all older, but you still felt like a little kid with a crush.

And you knew it would be the death of you if he ever learned, he’d probably make fun of you until you switched classes and never saw him again unless you were really unlucky and ran into him in the future.

- - -

You were doodling again. It helped you concentrate. You doodled little pictures and wrote notes beside them. It helped you organize your thoughts, putting what you were learning into little comics essentially.

You’d ended up drawing Bakugou again. You thought it seemed weird, but the topic seemed to fit more towards him anyways.

“You dropped this.” A soft voice spoke. Todoroki’s hand placed your eraser back on your desk and peeked at your drawings.

“Thanks.” You whispered quietly back to him. Todoroki pretended he didn’t see a beautifully drawn doodle of Bakugou.

Todoroki glanced at Bakugou and smiled. One had caught on to your secret, and you didn’t even realize it.

The class was dismissed for lunch, and you headed toward the door with your notebook.

Mr. Aizawa stopped you, the rest of the class had left to head to lunch.

“You keep spacing out in class, do I need to move you up to the front or is someone bothering you?” Mr. Aizawa glanced at Bakugou’s desk.

Two had figured it out, unbeknownst to you still.

“No, I’m sorry if it seems like I’m spacing out, I doodle to stay on track, despite that sounding like an excuse.” You defended softly.

“You do good on all your assignments, I’m just curious what you do all the time.” Mr. Aizawa laughed.

“I could give you an example I guess.” You open up your notebook to one of your doodles that weren’t necessarily of Bakugou.

“It seems silly to draw it out, but it's almost like reading an action comic book.” You smile.

“Whatever helps you better understand, get to lunch before there’s nothing left, kid.” Mr. Aizawa smiled, watching as you left out the door.

Lunch was pretty normal, you ate, and carried on with your usual schedule, coloring your doodles, and re-reading over your notes in case Mr. Aizawa wanted to through a pop quiz at you.

“Hey (l/n)!” Uraraka sat down next to you, Midoriya following afterward.

“Hey, guys.” You smiled. Midoriya looked away to Bakugou who was sitting next to Kirishima.

“How long have you liked Kacchan for?” Midoriya asked. Your cheeks burned red as your eyes shot up to look at Midoriya.

“Keep your voice down! And how do you know that I like him!” You shushed him, watching Uraraka smile.

“Todoroki, he mentioned you drawing him and how you seemed very caught up in him, and well putting together basic knowledge, it seems like you’ve got a crush on-”

“Shhh!” You placed a hand over his mouth as Asui walked by, giving you a look.

“Sorry.” Midoriya apologized looking over at Bakugou.

“He’s never even looked at me. I don’t think he knows I exist.” You say quietly, accepting defeat, one you’d hoped you could overcome.

“You don’t know that-”

“It’s been years, he’s never spoken to me, or looked at me, or even breathed in the same general direction of me. He has no clue who I am.” You interrupted Uraraka.

“I have a stupid crush on someone I have no chance with.” You huffed, resting your head on your notebook.

“Don’t give up now, besides, have you tried talking to him?” Uraraka questioned.

“I-no. I haven’t but do you think he’d talk to me even if I did?” You asked, looking back up at your friends.

“You never know until you try!” Midoriya encouraged you.

“Yeah, I suppose.” You smiled, the tiniest feeling of hope rushing through your veins. So you were going to try talking to him.

But lunch was over now, so you had to head back to class.

- - -

You saw the door and made your way through the sea of students. You entered the door but a strong force knocked you down.

“Kirishima you asshole!” Bakugou grunted, rubbing his head, looking around. He’d bumped into someone due to Kirishima messing around.

He looked down and saw a girl, you.

You were dazed nonetheless, but not hurt. Just trying to become un-dizzy.

Bakugou took note of you. You had (h/c) hair and bright (e/c) eyes. He’d never seen you before. Were you even in his class? Come to think of it, he didn’t even realize you were standing in front of him.

He noticed a few drawings poking out of your notebook. Realization settled in, noticing they were of him.

“I’m sorry! I should’ve been quicker I got in your way!” You apologized, quickly scurrying to your feet. Bakugou bent down and looked you in the eyes before snatching one of your drawings.

Your eyes widened.

Bakugou wanted to cause a scene, but he felt kind of bad. That was rare. Why was he feeling so giddy all of a sudden?

“Who-Just- Watch where you’re going next time.” Bakugou shoved the piece of paper in his pocket, your eyes following his movements closely, your head nodding up and down uncontrollably.

He’d taken one of your doodles.

You dusted yourself off after getting back on your feet and hurried to your seat.

Bakugou looked back at you, but you were too embarrassed to lift your head up. He pulled the paper he’d taken from you out and examined it. The doodle was good, no great.

You were talented, but he doubted it had anything to do with your quirk. Hell, he didn’t even know what that was. He felt bad. Like really bad. How long had you been in his class? How long had you been admiring him? How had he not noticed you?

He didn’t even know your name. He looked to the top of the page and spotted it. In neat handwriting, (f/n) (l/n) was printed with a few lines surrounding it.

Bakugou couldn’t get you out of his mind for the rest of the class, and it was making him angry. He couldn’t focus. You were distracting him and you weren’t even doing anything. He couldn’t last five minutes without turning to look back at you.

You didn’t do much for the rest of class. You kept your head down, and jotted down a few notes, worried that Bakugou now thought of you as some creep who stared at him all the time.

You just wanted to go back to your room and sulk. It seemed like the best option.

- - -

The air was crisp, you could tell it was winter. The day had finally ended and you were able to head back to your room.

Bakugou was following you, in the least creepy way. He had no clue who you were, or else he’d be in a different situation.

He definitely wasn’t going to ask anyone about you. He’d just figure it out on his own.

Bakugou trailed behind you, worried you’d find out. But that worry disappeared when you stopped to look out the window.

Snow had begun to fall outside. You smiled and watched as the flakes fluttered to the ground outside, coating everything in white.

Bakugou was so caught off guard, he didn’t notice the trash bin in front of him. He bumped into it and caused you to look over in his direction. He quickly ducked behind it, hoping you didn’t see him.

“Hello?” You called out looking around you. The trash bin moved but fell back into place.

“This is how people die in horror movies, but I see why now.” You say quietly, causing Bakugou to almost smile at your choice of words. You began your investigation.

You made your way over to the bin and jumped when you saw Bakugou sitting behind it.

“W-were you following me?” You questioned, freezing in your spot.

“Why are you so damn curious?!” Bakugou retorted, standing up, avoiding your gaze and question.

“I’m sorry.” You apologized. You looked past him back out at the snow.

“I-uh, You took one of my pages of notes, and I was hoping I could get it back, the content might be on a test and I wouldn’t want to do bad on it, I hope you could understand-”

A folded piece of paper landed in your palm. Bakugou sighed and looked at you.

“If you tell anyone about this you’re dead, you hear me?” Bakugou threatened, taking a step closer.

“Yup!” You swallowed the lump in your throat.

“How long have you been in my class?” Bakugou questioned, his cold stare not giving up.

“Since we got accepted into UA.” You said softly.

“You’ve been here the whole time?!” Bakugou raised his voice.

“Shh! You’re gonna get us in trouble if you’re so loud.: You placed your hand over his mouth almost out of instinct. You registered what you’d done and wanted to recoil but you were frozen.

Bakugou was frozen too. He glanced down at your hand covering his mouth.

“I-” Bakugou smirked, peeling your hand off of his mouth. Bakugou pulled your arm, pulling you into him.

“Don’t get in my way.” Bakugou threatened. His grip on you was soft. He didn’t want to hurt you, but he was serious.

“I won’t.” You assured him, shaking your head in confirmation. Bakugou leaned in, his face mere inches from yours.

“And staring is rude, just so you know next time.” Bakugou grinned, letting your wrist go.

He walked off, leaving you frozen in the hallway. His breath ghosted on your lips, your eye twitching.

He was so close to your face, he most likely saw your blush.

After Midoriya and Uraraka, he ranked in at number five to have found out how you felt about him.

He knew.

- - -

A week had gone by, and you’d stayed out of his way like he’d told you too. But Bakugou was furious. He was frustrated, in more ways than one. You were driving him crazy. And he couldn’t take it anymore.

The class was let out early today, due to holidays and such.

You had made it back to your room, but an aggressive knock startled you. You opened the door and Bakugou marched in, closing the door behind you.

“What’s your deal? Do you want me or something?!” Bakugou dug his pointer finger into your shoulder.

“What are you talking about?!” You protested, a blush spreading on your cheeks.

“You like me. Are you trying to tease me by avoiding me!? You’re driving me insane (l/n)!” Bakugou raised his voice before pressing his lips to yours.

Your eyes were wide open before they shut, melting into the kiss. Bakugou’s lips were soft. And you could’ve sworn they tasted like cherries. Was he wearing chapstick?

Bakugou pulled away and looked you in the eyes.

“Do you want to fuck me?” Bakugou questioned. Your face burned red.

“Y-Yeah, but what are you talking about? How am I-”

“You keep avoiding me, and then teasing me, thinking I wouldn’t notice, wearing that damn skirt.” Bakugou growled.

“I’ve worn this for years!” You frowned, looking down at the ground.

“Let’s get this over with.” Bakugou had already pinned you against the wall, all he had to do was drop his pants, and your skirt.

Bakugou’s hand traveled up your thigh, sending chills down your spine. This was happening. Like really happening. You were about to fuck your crush.

Bakugou yanked your skirt down, pulling your underwear down with it, the clothing pooling at your feet.

“I can’t believe I never noticed you before.” Bakugou muttered to himself. He wasn’t sure fucking you was going to get him off his mind. He’d hoped it would, but he wasn’t really sure. He couldn’t deny himself forever, and if he did like you, he sure as hell wasn’t going to let anyone else get their hands on you.

Bakugou ran his fingers between your folds, your legs shaking.

“I haven’t even done anything-”

“Shut up!” You whispered yelled, placing your hands on his shoulders. Bakugou grinned, noticing how much of an effect he had on you. He’d barely touched you and you were already wet.

Bakugou slipped a finger inside you, his thumb rubbing circles on your clit. You moaned softly, biting your bottom lip.

He slipped another finger inside you, watching as your legs weakened. Bakugou moved his fingers inside you, bringing you to a climax.

“If I can make you cum with just my fingers, you should be worried.” Bakugou smirked, pulling his fingers out of you. He licked them clean and caught you as you fell forward into his arms.

“Jesus.” Bakugou mumbled, helping you over to your bed. He laid you down and watched as you looked back up at him.

“Stop looking at me like that.” You said softly.

“Like what?” Bakugou questioned, undoing his pants.

“Like you’re so...”

“So...?”

“I don’t know.” You blanked. Bakugou’s expression softened.

“Sor-” Bakugou cut himself off. Did he really want to apologize? He was just looking at you. He didn’t want to flat out say he was admiring you, how you looked.

Bakugou stroked his cock, positioning himself at your entrance. You gave him a nod, reassuring him that it was okay.

Bakugou thrust his hips into you, sending your head back. You felt like your dreams were coming true. And your dreams weren’t the only thing cumming.

Bakugou bucked his hips into you, his cock hitting your g spot. You were overcome with pleasure. Bakugou leaned down and pined your hands above your head.

“Fuck, you’re so tight.” Bakugou groaned, pressing his head to your neck. He fucked you at a steady pace, his lips connecting to your neck.

He licked the skin near his mouth, beginning to suck and bite at your skin, forming a hickey.

“B-Bakugou!” You moaned, your legs instinctively wrapping around his waist as he thrust into you.

"Say my name again.” Bakugou groaned, feeling himself get closer and closer to cumming.

“Bakugou!” You cried, the feeling of Bakugou inside you driving you up the walls. He was thrusting into you just right, his pace steady and making your legs tremble.

“Fuck.” Bakugou grunted, cursing himself for getting so close. He came inside you, you cumming shortly after him.

“B-Bakugou.” You moaned softly as he pulled out of you. Bakugou sunk back, bringing his head in between your legs.

Bakugou dipped his tongue inside you, getting a better taste of you than before. You ran your hands through his spikey blonde hair, pulling him in closer to you, allowing him to eat you out more.

Bakugou smirked and pulled away, watching as you frowned.

“Don’t mention this, I wouldn’t want this to get ugly.” Bakugou cleaned himself up, tossing you your clothes.

“I-I won’t.” You said softly, still frazzled by the whole experience.

“So you got some crush on me?” Bakugou turned away, buttoning his pants back up.

“It’s obvious now isn’t it?” You stated, pulling your underwear back on.

“Are we going to do this dating thing?” Bakugou turned and looked back at you.

“Is that your way of asking me out?” You raised a brow.

“Do you have a problem with it?” Bakugou stared daggers at you.

“N-No!” You shook your head.

“I’ll go out with you then.” Bakugou confirmed. Your cheeks turned red.

“Wait really?!” You hopped to your feet, Bakugou smirked.

Your lower body hurt, and your legs were weak. He was powerful in more ways than one it seemed. Bakugou caught you before you stumbled to the ground.

“We’re going to have to work on this. I can’t just carry you around everywhere after we fuck.” Bakugou grinned.

“Y-yeah.” You laughed shyly.

- - -

Bakugou had admitted his feelings. He felt better, now that he was dating you. You weren’t so much of a distraction, in the sense that he couldn’t stop thinking about you. Well, he couldn’t do that now either.

You and him had spent most of your time together, alone, behind closed doors until Kirishima walked in on the two of you making out in his room.

Kirishima was laughing about how Bakugou had gone all soft for you, but he was still just as firey as always, though he was a bit of a teddy bear.

Bakugou also took note whenever you were doodling in class, that it was of him. He’d catch you looking at him and he’d just smirk at you, causing your cheeks to heat up.

Sometimes all it takes is a little crush-contact.

»»————-　★　————-««

masterlist

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becomingbts · 4 years

Text

After Class

Pairing: Jungkook x Reader

Type: fluff fluff fluff

Warning(s): none if not overload of fluff

Around 2.1k

summary: Is it possible for someone to be more similar than her? I’m going to protect mini-me!

notes: Hello everyone! I hope all of you are fine! I’m happy to be able to post this one shot! This was actually a prompt from @ialwayschangethemelody ! It got me inspired and I liked it quite a lot! so here we go for that random one shot, not supposed to be born, but welp, bear with me! Have a great week, love you!

Admin Dolly

Jungkook was stunned.

When Taehyung had mentioned that a girl from his class would quickly come to explain a point of his lecture to him, he didn't expect her to be that kind of girl. Taehyung had mentioned her once or twice already. She had been helping him to take notes on a new subject that he didn't get at all and when Taehyung did not understand something, his mind just blanked for a few minutes before coming back and acknowledging that he indeed missed the most important points, leaving him even more lost than he previously was. She had apparently been sitting next to him when he had had his little breakdown, because, how was he suppose to pass a subject he didn't understand?

She had been helping him since it happened, she gave him additional notes when he had missed important points and helped him making small doodles about several topics, trying to draw little comics, making it easier for Taehyung to follow the lecture without being 100% lost.

From what he had heard until now, Jungkook had made himself an image of the character, probably a small girl hiding behind round glasses, always first row, ready 30 minutes before the lecture would begin. It was very clichée but honestly, it sounded just like that.

So imagine his shock when the said girl arrived in the coffee shop, short hair under a black cap, 3 little silver rings on her right ears, 4 on her left (actually, he noticed that one of them was a little star but that was only a detail), 2 helix piercing, high on her black shining platform shoes, looking the opposite of what he had been expecting her to look like. For a second, he was pretty sure that she was mistaken and had the wrong table, he wasn't sure that it was indeed the girl who Taehyung had been speaking about.

"I'm sorry for being late, couldn't do much better, tried my best, you know me. Hi to everyone I don't know, name's (Y/N), sorry I won't interrupt for long so don't bother, I'll be leaving quickly!" she smiled a bit, getting her stuff next to Taehyung's, already asking him which point he wanted to go through again.

Jimin, Hoseok and Yoongi continued what they were doing after greeting her as well, waiting for Namjoon and Seokjin to show up in order to leave. They had a presentation to do and they all had been speaking about it for quite a while now, Jungkook couldn't wait for them to be done with it, he felt always lost when they began to talk about their subject.

He, himself, came because Taehyung had promised that his study session with (Y/N) wouldn't be long and that they could play some video games afterwards. He had agreed on the spot, not really wanting to focus on school as midterms were coming, closer and closer, apparently not stressful enough for his family who kept on asking him everyday if he had been studying, which only added stress each time he heard the question. He couldn't focus, his stress rate was way too high for him to actually be productive, and it was stressing him even more, because damn, mid terms were truly coming and he didn't know if he would have the time to study everything without have to skip some subjects. That truly was a vicious circle. Motivation was nowhere to be seen and stress was constantly plaguing his mind : definitely the best mindset to study.

Note the sarcasm.

Jungkook even thought that seeing Taehyung study for his subject would also stress him. Taehyung was the one to never seem to be bothered by a subject he didn't fully understand. He would pass eventually and he didn't really care if his grade wasn't the best, as long as he passed the subject, it was enough. Don't get him wrong though, Taehyung studied really well and was a pretty good student, but he didn't really care about being the first of his promotion or anything like that. Yet for some reasons, this class was really bothering him and Jungkook felt like he really was the only one left to not study for the midterms, only fueling his stress rate that honestly had already gone above the maximum level.

However, as he actually began to listen to the young woman in front of him, her soothing voice did not send him into panic mode and he surprisingly listened to what she was talking about, without really paying close attention to the subject because he didn't even have that lecture. He saw little doodles she had apparently made for Taehyung about an important point that had been said to be "exam relevant". As he watched her taking a pen, Jungkook noticed a few rings around her slim fingers as well as a small sleeve tattoo. Her over-sized sweater did hide it but he could see it a little bit as she had slightly rolled up her sleeves. He watched her with great interest and curiosity. How did it come he never saw her before? She had a pretty distinctive character, making her pretty easy to notice in a crowd despite her quiet demeanor. She didn't seem to want attention, hence why she probably didn't get much, but she looked stunning and Jungkook couldn't help but blush as he watched her drink her coffee, his eyes lot leaving her lips-

Jeon Jungkook what the hell are you doing, get a hold of yourself, you don't know her?!

Damn he felt so embarrassed that he couldn't glance at her anymore. He heard Jimin suddenly asking her questions because he was supposed to take that lecture the next semester and wasn't really sure what it was about. She answered all of them, easily falling into a small conversations with all the boys who joined, much to Jungkook's surprised. He did not think that even Yoongi would go out of his comfort zone to talk with the young woman, yet, here he was, talking with her about music while Taehyung whined because they were not done. She giggled quietly, calling him out for not studying enough for the subject as he laughed before adding that he couldn't believe she would betray him like that, claiming that she knew that he studied after all.

"I know you're studying, I'm kidding, come on, we're almost done, the last part is the hardest though so you better concentrate, I'm not explaining it twice." she moved slightly, stretching before moving back to her original position as Jungkook's eyes fell on her again. Seokjin and Namjoon arrived shortly after they took up where they had left, quickly greeting her before asking the boys if they were ready to go. They all left, not without saying bye to (Y/N), promising a hang out as they added her in a new group chat while she laughed, telling them to not expect a reply any time soon after she added "I might or might not be kidding" before she broke into laughter with them.

Jungkook kept on looking at her, shyly smiling as he heard her laughter. Her eyes suddenly caught his and they both burst into laughter again. After they both calmed down, she smiled warmly at him even though he wasn't looking before going back to Taehyung.

Jungkook thanked all the divinities as she didn't say anything about the way he had so obviously stared at her but instead just focused back on Taehyung without embarrassing him more than he already was. She had obviously noticed that he had kept on glancing at her but she didn't call him out on it, letting it slide without any snarky remarks, which he was grateful for. He didn't know if she had sensed that he felt embarrassed to be caught looking at her, hence why he burst into laughter, but he just felt thankful that she did not mention it more than he hoped she would.

"And that's it! We're actually done, see? It wasn't nearly as impossible as you claimed." she laughed at Taehyung who just grumbled.

"It's easy for you, I don't get it when the professor explains" she hummed quietly as her eyes met Jungkook's again.

"Is he always that whiny?" she asked, ignoring Taehyung's outraged expression.

"Trust me, he's way worse at home, I'm his roommate." Jungkook tried to keep his cool but he felt excited to talk to her.

"Hey I'm not that whiny come on!"Taehyung protested while she just laughed.

"You are, stop complaining already, you are indebted to me for the rest of your life, peasant" she laughed loudly and Jungkook couldn't but snicker.

"Excuse me your highness, you're too good to me." he dramatically cried while Jungkook and her couldn't handle it anymore, the three of them laughing loudly, earning death glares from the barista.

"Ah anyway, so you're the famous roommate, the one that plays overwatch until 3 am?" she asked playfully after she had calmed down and told Tae that he could still show her gratefulness by buying her a coffee, which he just answered by a "in your dreams fake princess" that she had laughed off.

"Taehyung! You're not supposed to expose my sleep schedule to anyone, that's a private matter!" he whined as she laughed.

"Don't worry I'm not far better than you, been playing Symmetra recently just for fun but it's definitely easier for me to play D.Va." Jungkook's interested rose up even higher than it already was.

"God you play too?" he smiled widely.

"Of course I do, do I look like I watch anime until 5 am?" she puffed out her chest before laughing with Taehyung.

"You liar that's exactly what you do, you spent a whole lecture talking about Fullmetal Alchemist"

"What can I say, I'm guilty." she shrugged while Taehyung giggled.

"You definitely have to do a sleepover with us and the boys, we have similar interests it seems!" Jungkook laughed excited as he spoke.

"How can you tell, you don't know me" she smirked for a second before giggling to herself when she heard Taehyung interrupting her 'serious-not-so-serious' moment.

"(Y/N) you're basically Jungkook's female version, who are you trying to lie to?" Taehyung had his backpack in his hand, ready to leave as they all stood up and got their coffee cups with them.

"Trying to look decent for a few more second Taehyung, could you stop ruining it?" she punched him slightly in the shoulder, and he laughed as he complain about her fist lacking strength.

"Should I remind you that I'm boxing? Taehyung sweety I could send you to hospital if I wanted, don't joke around like that" they both laughed but Jungkook's eyes suddenly shined.

"PLEASE TEACH ME BOXING!" he shouted excited and Taehyung laughed as he saw (Y/N)'s surprised expression.

"He was searching for someone to go to the boxing club with him but we all ran away before he could drag us in his adventures." Taehyung explained while Jungkook was still watching her with hopefulness surrounding him.

"You want to go to boxing? I go to the club of the school but also to another club in the city after class on Monday, you can tag in if you want" she shrugged as if it were no big deal but damn Jungkook had finally found a boxing partner and he couldn't be stopped.

"YES DAMN FINALLY!" he yelled thrilled as they both watched him getting overjoyed.

"Is he really that excited?" she asked glancing at Taehyung.

"Can't you tell?" he giggled happily.

"We need to exchange number so that I can come! I don't know where it is! You have to show me and-"

"Yes okay, wow, calm down tiger, we'll go don't worry!" she laughed as she gave him her number. "I need to go, I still have a lecture in 30 minutes, I'll see you both later I guess! Bye!" she quickly left running as she noticed how far from university she was.

"Bye (Y/N)! Thanks again for the notes!" Taehyung yelled, as he saw her hand rising, waving it in the air before she hurried.

"Bye! Can't wait to see you again!" Jungkook smiled brightly and Taehyung laughed at him.

"I found a mini-me Taehyung and it's thrilling!"

"More like you found your soulmate and you'll get jealous next time I'll talk to her!" he laughed as he saw Jungkook's ready to protest, not missing the crimson blush on his cheeks. "Come on, I saw you staring at her the whole time we studied! Tell someone else you don't find her attractive but don't lie to my face!" Taehyung burst into laughter again as he saw Jungkook's eyes falling to the ground in embarrassment.

"It's okay, don't worry, you can protect your mini-you, we're just friend don't worry." he smiled soothingly, not trying to make fun of him anymore.

"I know you are, hyung. I just.. like her a lot." Jungkook smiled slightly, still blushing, not really understanding how similar someone could be with him, but he liked it a lot.

He even had found a boxing partner, if that was not his lucky day.

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emgkheadcannons · 4 years

Text

I want to do the Kelly is a comic book writer Au but I don’t want to write the whole story, just snippets. So here is the outline. I will probably add snippets and stuff, just wanted the stories set up done and over with, and I can get to the fun stuff. Set in 2015.

&&&&&&

Em starts reading this new indie comic on the recommendation of a friend. He ends up loving it. It’s a suspenseful mystery, with a head trip and superpowers thrown in.

The problem is that it doesn’t have a regular release date and the writer is a mystery. They have a WEBTOON account, and some social media for the comic but no way of contacting them. They go by the monikers MGK, and Kelly.

******

Colson works as a barista, and bartender. He also writes and illustrates his own comic series that is pretty popular. He would love to write full time but he has bills to pay and art materials can be expensive. He is careful not to let too much of his personal information get out yet. He will once he’s in a better place, and can focus on his art more.

He likes being a barista, and bartender. The cafe he works at is owned by a witch, and doubles as a bar after dark, plus the atmosphere is cool, relaxed, and accepting. The patrons are for the most part nice, and he makes decent money. Enough that he can make a decent living. The downside is that the cafe is open 24 hours, and some of the shifts suck, but it’s not bad.

******

Em finds out that MGK is doing a live stream, where they are going to be drawing random things, answering some questions, and hopefully gives them an update on the next chapter. He has Hailey help him set up an account for the live stream, and is careful not to let others know he is Eminem.

******

The stream goes well for Colson. He gets a lot of questions, and types a response for most of them. Some were just too personal. There was one person who stuck out. They asked a few good questions, and gave his art a lot of compliments.

Em continues to watch MGK’s streams, and eventually Kelly herself (hahaha) messages him. Em and Colson start a friendship over the web. Neither saying who they really are (or gender in Colson’s case).

Em inspires Colson, and he gets farther in the comic. Em has someone to talk to, that doesn’t treat him like Eminem, and he gets to geek out over comics. They develop a relationship besides the comic and become friends. After months of talking they decided to meet in person. Both are apprehensive, Kelly because he is going to meet this awesome person and doesn’t want to disappoint him, and Em because he doesn’t know how Kelly will react to him being Eminem.

******

Em is in Cleveland on business and they decide to meet at a small cafe.

It doesn’t go well. Em thinks he is looking for a woman going by the name Kelly, and Colson is not expecting Eminem.

Colson tries to introduce himself but is ignored and then shoved away. Having enough, he leaves, upset and lonely. He finally gets to meet the person he’s been talking to and not only does it turn out to be one of Colson’s heroes but his hero turns out to be a jerk and just dismisses him. He already has low self esteem and this didn’t help.

Colson leaves behind a doodle of one of his new characters for his comic. Em sees the doodle and thinks nothing of it, until the new issue is released a week later, that the doodle that that punk dropped is in the comic.

Em thought, he was stood-up and was pissed. He doesn’t message MGK and tries to move on with his life. When the comic is updated Em reads it and he puts two and two together. That Kelly was the tall, lanky blond who kept on trying to get his attention, and Em just shoved him away. He thought the guy was just some pushy fan. He feels terrible and tries to contact MGK but is blocked.

Colson is uninspired now. He doesn’t feel like drawing or writing anything. He posted the latest episode because he finished it before he was supposed to meet Em. He wanted to give him a sneak peak before he posted it. Now he doesn’t care. His comic was an escape from the real world, but it has brought the real world crashing down.

Em finally tracks down the cafe Colson works at, and goes there to apologize, but Colson just ignores him. The harder he tries, the more annoyed Colson gets, until Colson’s manager tells him to go on break. Em follows him, and explains why he was rude.

******

“Listen, I’m sorry. I thought you were just some obnoxious stan, who wouldn’t go away. I didn’t realise that you were Kelly.”-Em

“Sorry to be a disappointment to the great Slim Shady, but this is who I am. I would say ‘take it or leave it’, but you already made that decision.Sorry I don’t live up to what you thought I was. Sorry I’m not good enough for you.”-Colson spits as his eyes start to glisten.

“Fuck! I know I messed up, okay. I’m not disappointed that you're you, or that you're a guy, or anything like that. I just thought you were a chick, and I was excited to meet you, that I didn’t realise that you were Kelly.”-Em

“ Why did you think I was a girl?”-Colson asked angrily

“ You go by MGK, and Kelly. Only Kellys I know are women.”-Em answered lamely

“MGK stands for Machine Gun Kelly, like the old school gangster.”-Colson huffed

“Oh.”-E

“Yeah, ‘oh’. Now If you are done I’m going back to work.”-Colson turns and starts to head back inside. Em grabs his wrist before he gets too far. The blond turns around facing the older man.

“Please wait. I know what I did was shitty, and that you have every right to be mad, but please listen. You are perfect just the way you are. Just because you don’t match what was in my head doesn’t mean you aren’t good enough or that I am disappointed. Okay. You are an amazing artist. I’m sorry I ever made you feel that way about yourself.”-Em

Em lets go of his wrist and it falls to Colson’s side. Neither one of them move for a moment. Colson looks Em in the eyes, tears rolling down his cheeks.

“Do you mean that?”-Colson asks

“Yeah. I do.”-Em

“My shift ends at 2. Wanna try again?”-Colson

“Yeah. I would.”-Em

******

#emgk #Comic Artist Kelly AU

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shinyzango · 4 years

Text

...You know, I have been thinking a bit about this past decade. My memory is crap to be honest but looking back at it... It sure was a mess of ups and downs.

It started with me leaving highschool after failing the second year, as I’ve grown too tired and annoyed by the dumbness of its teaching methods. In that year then I have started attending to a, uhm, I think I can call it a specialization school for making comics. Despite having turned 18 in those years, I was still very immature, and ended up leaving that school as well as I considered their final goal to be bullshit (even tho now that I look back at it it kind of had sense).

Still, while I have ended up disliking that school, as I both hated the fact that they said they welcomed all styles when in the end they still favored non-manga styles and the fact that I ended up hating one specific classmate that even made me get sick at one point... I am thankful for that school. Before then, my dumb immature self was your typical “ew western media sucks, manga and the anime is the best!!!”, but that school make me open up to western media... and I started appreciating it more. It led me to eventually discover VALVe’s games, specifically Team Fortress 2, and I have met so many friends with it. And while I hated how my art was taking western inspirations from my full One Piece-influenced style, and I still hate to this day how my art had suffered in those years, I am thankful for it, because my style is now more unique and personal and I actually like it.

In those years I have also obtained my driving license and a motorbike to drive with, which ended up with me giving up with it between the bike being difficult for me to handle, and attempted getting a scuba diving license as at the time I loved the idea of learning the activity, to which I ended up giving up as I really couldn’t deal with the salt water getting in my eyes, and the one time I was actually able to do a successful immersion, I ended up with my inner ears getting an irritation and causing any successive immersion impossible in order to get the license.

But then, after I left that school in the middle of the second year of three, things just... started spiraling downwards. What followed was half a decade of pretty much lurking in my room. I rarely got out of my room, I often refused to go out with my family, and the first signs of depression started showing up. And if that wasn’t enough, in those years we had my sister’s first puppy dying shortly after she bought it, her second dog giving me headaches, mom discovering she had glaucoma and started treatment to at least slow it down, to which she started getting into depression as well, my dad leaving home because he was tired of maintaining us, leaving one daughter barely doing anything with her life, the other daughter who at the time was still struggling to continue university and had a young dog to take care of, a wife who just went through an operation to her eyes and was horrified at the idea of not being able to drive anymore, all three of us without any kind of income of our own, and two aging cats of which one was starting to show signs of sickness, in complete shit. That episode caused mom to have a serious breakdown and was hospidalized and successively put into recovery.

What followed that episode was years of complete mess. My depression got worse, sis found love and left home to stay with him, mom came to meet a person who she felt love for and at the time helped her recover and come out of her heartbroken shell, which while she was happy with him, both me and sis saw something was wrong with him. And soon enough, a couple years later his true nature started to show, but mom was too blinded through anti-depressant meds and other stuff and it took her 3-4 years before she was finally able to leave him just this month. Until then, it was a complete mess between them and us.

In these recent years however, between all the mess that happened to which I only have bad memories of, something good did happen. I started learning more about myself. Thanks to a failed attempt at consulting a psychologist, who turned out to be an old incompetent witch, I was finally able to figure out the one fear that was ruining me all those years, it turning out to be a fear of others’ judgement upon whatever I am or do. And while I still didn’t get over it, it has helped to at least aknowledge it.

Then, the best year for me happened. In 2017, as I had given up on trying to get attention and a following after so many years of envying other artists I admired, I got into a game I would have never guessed I would have ended up liking. I started having fun with my art and ideas again, drawing mostly for myself. And just like that, I started getting quite the following for the content I delivered for it. My art made a lot of people happy. I can still remember the warmth in my heart from those days.

Then it got even better. Not even half a year later, I randomly doodled one particular character, from an old project I had given up on working on for the lack of interest on it, during a stream. My watchers loved him. They wanted ot know more. It sparked the itch to revisit the idea just for the hell of it. I drew a little more for it. People loved it. The happiness I felt in those days was immense. I kept playing with that project. People loved whatever I drew. It was liek a dream.

But dreams eventually end, and between what was happening in real life at the time and the shift of attention getting away from my content, it contributed in my depression to come back with a vengeance and make me feel worse about myself.

Then, 2019 arrived. This year was, a complete mess, even more than the previous years. Mom was struggling between leaving her companion who turned out to be a piece of shit and trying to finally start gaining any money with her new job who she has been struggling with for the past 2 years. And I have reached a point in which I was seriously scared of my future, and eventually accepted the offer my sister and mom proposed to me. As in temporarely move to my sister’s new home in order to find a job in her area. What I found was a seasonal job, which turned out to be hell for me. This was the worst summer of my life... but it also allowed me to grow as a person. I came to realize I was still a kid and needed to grow up, I finally got comfortable with driving on a road... but eventually returned home after the job ended as I didn’t want to be a bother to my sister. I was convinced that now that I had a vehicle of my own, it would have been easier for me to find a job in my hometown’s area. That was a mistake. Then mom returned to live back at home definitely, with her ex companion keeping tormenting her for all these months... and I ended up with the car incident in which my bike ended up getting damaged beyond repair.

I feel like I’ve taken steps back and returned at page one with my life... but you know what? I’m optimistic. I feel motivated in making something out of this year. I WANT to conclude something out of this year.

This past decade has been a mess, but I’m optimistic that this new one can, and will, be better. It just starts with a thought.

“I want to be productive.”

#sorry for the long post but I've been thinking tonight #more posts to come

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streaks-of-lavender · 4 years

Text

This is what I do instead of sleep

So! A while ago, @starbucks-remy sent me an ask that just said “hot take: tamakyo.” Thus, this post is born. It got so long I put it under the cut. You’re welcome, Starbucks-Remy. Enjoy.

Headcanons

Tamaki is a dog person. Kyoya is a cat person. They’ve gotten into so many arguments about which one is better that they’ve lost count.

When Kyoya really wants something or is feeling particularly evil, he’ll call Tamaki a pet name in French. It’s more effective than the puppy dog eyes.

Kyoya is gay. Tamaki knows this. Kyoya knows that he knows. They do not discuss it. Ever. (almost.) //side note, if anyone wants me to write that incident out, I will//

You’d think Kyoya would be the one nagging Tamaki about self-care, but in reality it’s the other way around. Kyoya will go for days without sleep or food if Tamaki isn’t there to remind him.

Tamaki once made Kyoya take a Harry Potter house quiz with him, and Kyoya still hasn’t lived down his Hufflepuff result (Tamaki was a Gryffindor, of course).

Kyoya is an artist. He spends all day drawing in the elusive black book. At least a third of the drawings are of Tamaki.

Tamaki is autistic. Kyoya knows exactly what to do when he’s overstimulated or on the verge of a meltdown.

They know each other’s favourite songs as well as their own.

Fuyumi absolutely thinks that Kyoya and Tamaki would be a great couple. Of course she knows that Kyoya is gay, she doesn’t care, she just wants her baby brother to be happy.

Tamaki is the only person allowed to see Kyoya when he’s sick.

Kyoya has chronic headaches. Tamaki takes care of him when it’s bad. They’ve had a routine down for years.

Kyoya is always warm, while Tamaki runs cold. They’re holding hands because the other is a nice temperature, that’s all.

Kyoya is red-green colour blind.

Tamaki is the one who has to kill spiders because Kyoya is deathly afraid of them. It’s one of his best kept secrets. //Again, if you want me to write about Tamaki learning this interesting fact, let me know//

ADHD Kyoya

Kyoya who doodles and writes little notes to himself in his notebook all day because it keeps him from getting bored

Kyoya who’s always moving subtly in some way, nothing obvious, but tapping his foot or drumming his fingers on the table

Kyoya who has a lot of various stim toys and is always carrying at least one with him (he initially started keeping them around for Tamaki, but then found that they help him too)

Kyoya who prefers to stay in the music room or classroom during lunch because the cafeteria is Too Much

Kyoya who always has to be doing something or else he’s dying of boredom

Kyoya who’s not great at taking care of himself, he just forgets most of the time. Tamaki is there to remind him

Kyoya with at least five weighted blankets

Kyoya who takes a long time to do homework because it’s hard to focus on for more than 30 minutes at a time

Alternatively, Kyoya who sometimes hyperfocuses on homework because it’s a subject he’s interested in and good at

Kyoya who knows an alarming amount of facts no one will ever need

Kyoya who’s really sensitive to different smells, some are nice but others must be avoided at all costs

Kyoya who feels like he talks about his special interests too much but Tamaki is always willing to listen (and Kyoya is always willing to listen to Tamaki as well)

Kyoya who doesn’t eat nearly enough because his meds kill his appetite

Kyoya who is very unorganised and would be a complete disaster without maids to help clean up

Kyoya who loses things constantly, all the time, for about six months on average

Kyoya with RSD

Kyoya who’s comically bad at time management

Kyoya who gets sensory overload and listens to Tamaki play the piano to cope

Autistic Tamaki

Tamaki whose special interest was Japan/Japanese culture for years

Tamaki who sometimes sits and plays random notes or nonsensical tunes on the piano as a stim

Tamaki with echolalia

Tamaki who’s hyperempathetic, but who also couldn’t read the room to save his life

Tamaki who has a hard time understanding boundaries sometimes

Tamaki who always needs to double check that the costume he’s wearing has no tags (they never do. Kyoya’s in charge of that stuff and things relating to Tamaki are the only things he’ll never forget)

Tamaki who can’t remember names or faces and it stresses him out, he cares, really, he just doesn’t know why you’re acting like you know him

Tamaki who stims almost constantly in various ways

Tamaki who would eat the same thing for every meal if Kyoya wasn’t there to stop him

Autistic Tamaki who helps Kyoya with his ADHD, and vice versa

Playlist currently in progress

https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLAI_I9Mp-NCVP0L94pRj2RMUWOWpU3Tby

Small blurb warnings: alcohol abuse, implied sexual assault, dysfunctional family, character death

Kyoya’s mom never wanted him. They already had three kids and she had hoped that’d be all, but maybe one night Yoshio had a little too much to drink and well, Mrs Ohtori really didn’t have much say in the matter. When she finds out she’s pregnant she tries to be happy, but she’s just not, because she never wanted another baby in the first place and it’s a constant reminder of what Mr Ohtori did. Eventually she ends up dying in childbirth, and the family is torn apart. Fuyumi tries to take on her mother’s role. Yuiichi throws himself into his work. Mr Ohtori becomes even more cold and distant. Akito blames Kyoya for their mother’s death. It’s a bit part of why he’s so hostile towards his youngest brother. And Kyoya? Kyoya knows the whole story. He’s always been a natural observer, and some rather gossipy maids clued him in at a young age. Part of the reason he works so hard is to prove that he’s more than just the unwanted child who drove his family apart, and to make his mother proud. She gave up everything for him, a baby that she never wanted or got to know, and he can’t let that be in vain. So yeah. Kyoya’s mom never wanted him. But it’s okay. After all, until he met Tamaki, nobody else did either.

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franeridart · 6 years

Note

Oh man, I'm just imagining that there's so many close brushes with kiribaku almost realizing or almost being in positions to find out that the other is a vigilante-- an injury and no way to get into contact with Jack or Mina-- a rainstorm washing Kiri's dye away on the job. I think it'd be especially funny if he thought for a minute that Kiri was bleeding but then Kiri is like "UH GOTTA GO ITS NOT BLOOD" and he realizes it's red hair dye

Oh Kirishima sort of already suspects it’s Bakugou - more or less? He’s in the process of starting to suspect it, at least lol for being someone who really doesn’t want to be found out Bakugou’s more carefree in his disguise than Kirishima is (his hair is a pretty obvious giveaway, for example, thought Bakugou relies a lot on the ‘attacking and running’ strategy, so in his mind all he gotta do is just not be seen by anyone at all lol) compared to Kiri he gets bruised and beaten up way more too (Kiri’s hardening makes it easy for him to avoid that in general) - Kiri’s noticing Bakugou’s bruises and his vigilante friend’s bruises match up a whole damn lot, so he’s starting to figure that one out

Bakugou’s a dumbass tho (read: he doesn’t really look at people he isn’t particularly interested in) so for him it’s gonna take a while haha

Anon said: If in vigilantes au Bakugou and jirou are just friends why do they live together and hug like a couple?

They’re best friends, and sometimes when your best friend is going through a real rough heartbreak and he’s in literal tears over it, you might be nice enough to offer your back for him to hide his face in and let him pretend he isn’t currently breaking down on you. Sometimes, you like a person in a platonic way enough to emotionally support them as best as you can when they’re at their lowest. It. Sort of happens between best friends, now and again. You don’t really need to want in someone’s pants to care about them.

They live together cause they started working together as vigilantes when they were in high school, and once they moved up to college they found it a good idea to have someone back home who knew about what they were doing to treat eventual wounds, since they can’t go to the hospital! Also the rent is cheaper this way

Anon said:Can you draw more comics of childhood kiribaku? You’re art is sooo cute 💓

It’s something I’ve regularly kept on going back on for years by now, so sure, it’ll probably happen! And thank you!

Anon said:OH MY GOD. Please tell me you will make an official webcomic of your Vigilante AU. It’s so beautiful, cute and I definitely need more of this. It’s like a drug that I did not know I needed until I read your concept(????). BTW, your art is soooo pretty. Thank you so much for drawing KiriBaku ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

Ahhh I’m really happy to hear you like it! For personal reasons I’ve decided that making a cohesive, coherent succession of comics isn’t something I want to do, but I think I’ll draw more of that AU soon enough, snapshots and things like that! I hope that’s good enogh for you~

Anon said:May I request a pissed kiri??

Didn’t I draw that less than 10 posts ago

Anon said:Hey, I rlly admire you! I wish we were friends, you seem rlly nice!!

Thank you!!! The few close friends I have might tell you I’m actually not that great at the whole friends thing, but I appreciate the feeling a lot! :D

Anon said:Were Kirishima’s eyes red in the last panel of the last comic??

Yep :( he really does like Bakugou, after all

Anon said:I saw you answering the other anon and if I may ask, why posting the gem au was a big mistake? Were pol rude with you? If it’s so, I’m sorry abt it

Anon said:You said that posting your SU AU stuff was the biggest mistake you ever made… is it because of something that we, as viewers and worshippers of your KiriBaku (damn, I’ll never stop telling you it’s cute and adorable and it hurts but it’s also sweet), can help NOT doing? Or is there anything we can do?

It’s okay, it just got in the hands of people who don’t particularly like Bakugou, and these people started talking about the AU in less than nice terms, which was honestly pretty ridiculous and made me wonder how people can survive being alive on this earth when they consider Steven Universe sensitive material but either way it brought around in my activities a bunch of people I would have preferred not to interact with ever, and that sort of took the fun out of the AU? Now every time I think about drawing for it those people come back up in my head and I get annoyed all over again, it’s no fun

Anon said:are you still doing the fusion au? id love to see kaminari and shinsou

I’m not, sorry! Though someone did ask about baku and mineta and I’ve been thinking about drawing that horrible monster since then, and I’ve also been wanting to redesign the krbk fusion, so maybe I might get back to it ??? I’ll add shin*kami to the list haha

Anon said:I really like the relationship Jack and Bakugou have, and the angst is nice too! I really like the vigilatne AU! I hope we can see more of it, only if you feel like it of course!

Thank you so much ;;;

Anon said:Silly question. If Kirishima activated his quirk being in water. Would he float like wood, or he’d drown like a rock? >//w//

Oh, I’m pretty sure he’d go down since his quirk makes him into a rock haha

Anon said:I think this is around the eighth anonymous ask I send you, but being a porn-making Tumblr user, it’s better if I don’t go public. I just wanted to say, once again, that I love your KiriBaku, it makes me both ache and feel so warm and fuzzy inside; but right now, the focus is that Bakugou’s crying face against Jack’s back is just so good, expressive and painful. I often hate his guts, but yours I can never hate. And the sheer intensity of that expression, and the environment too… so many feels

Aw, thank you!!! I’m glad I can make you enjoy my fav character, anon :D !!

Anon said:I have a question about the vigilante AU. What’s the relationship between jirou and bakugou? Because they don’t look like just friends

Why don’t they look like just friends tho

Anon said:Hypothetically. How would Bakugou react (or what would he do) if Kirishima stopped showing interest in him?

Are we talking about a specific AU or is this meant for the canon universe? Well, either way I’d say he’d be pretty hurt, but it’s not like he can force Kirishima to like him can he. Ah, in the vigilantes AU he’d probably think it’s for the best even if he’d hurt a lot over it, but in canon and most other AUs I like to think he’d try to fix it somehow? Unless he has other reasons to not act on his feelings for Kirishima… gosh this is a vague question, there are so many possibilities really!

Anon said:🧡Hi Fran! I’m pretty sure you’re the one who introduced this concept to me so I wanted to say thanks! Touch starved Bakugou and super cuddly Bakugou are totally my fave, especially when you have him all curled up with Jirou! Having them be Mina and Kiri level besties makes so much sense and I love you for introducing that thought to me!!!🧡

I’m!!!!!!!!!!! so happy to hear that!!!!!!!!!!!!! ;O;

Anon said:in your vigilante au, Kiri has a scar, does Bakugo ever notice the scar?(curious if it reminds him of Red or nah, love yur art btw~~

When he’s not doing vigilantes work it’s actually hidden by the hair, so Bakugou never noticed! But if he were to notice he’d probably mark it down as a Kiri thing and leave it at that, as I said he’s not the most observant when he’s not particularly interested in someone so he hasn’t really registered it on Red’s face anyway haha

Anon said:I RLLY LOVE YOUR AU!! I haven’t found an AU in this fandom I’m rlly into but THIS IS SOCUTE??? will there be more?

Heck I sure hope so!! Thank you for liking it!!!

Anon said:hey for the anon you were looking for an outrageous ship to draw to test out their theory, try Tokoyami and Link (legend of Zelda link) cuz I just saw cosplayers of them hardcore dancing at dragoncon and I die every time I think about it. You can find a video of it on quirk-registration-office

…………………..I’m probably never gonna draw that ngl LMAO BUT this ask made me wanna draw Tokoyami as a Rito so I guess that’s ???? something that might happen instead heck that’s a good concept I should have thought about earlier

Anon said:I absolutely love your art its soon amazing and I really like the vigilantly au but take care of yourself okay

I dunno what I did to make you worry about me but thank you so much for it? I’ll try my best !!!! And thank you for liking my doodles too!!! ;^;

Anon said:Do you know about any fanfics based in your art?? (Idk if that’s grammatically correct sorry 😅)

Hmmmmmmmmmm there are a few but the only one that comes to mind right now is such a funny pair !!! boy ellen’s fics are always so damn amazing, I still can’t believe she wrote for me ;^;

#fran answers #inbox will stay closed still for a while #sorry! ;;;;#anonymous

369 notes · View notes

matildamaldita-blog1 · 5 years

Text

All my love,Elea

“All my love, Elea”

I caught a plane back to France, I am still paying the price of my rowdy times in the states, I got pulled under by a mean current but I had reasons to stay alive. Going through all those old drawings and words could make me sick to my stomach or shiver through me. Adam would finally get away from my love interest. Sometimes days like this make me feel no restless and no boredom just the prospect of calm quite days with the time to read, write and draw is all I ask. Adam had an obviously huge influence on every aspect of my being.

Hi I’m Elea- My mom and dad use to describe me as a very intense seething little being right from the beginning. What can I say coming from a very famous parents? I have always been the subtle but dramatic young artist, “a very prolific” they say. Starting at the very young age, I drew wacky personal style and always have a strong vision of my own universe. At an early age I had already a vivid concepts of good and evil (angels and devils), rich and poor (princess and urchins), joy and sadness, pain and pleasure. Was it my parents overly attentive, overly stimulating behavior that made me into attention-craving little show-off monster intensity-case? or was I born that way?

All I know is that they were the best audience a kid could have; I probably made a lot of drawings just to make my dad laugh, he was so into it. I also spent hours and of hours entertaining myself, far off in the elaborate fantasy world of an only child. “Elea Simone! I told you thousand times to not touch my stuffs” my mom says, I remember that day when I was about to reach her very expensive paint brush. My mom and I have always been apart from each other, I can always feel the heat between us, but I have always want to hug her, what do you expect from a kid to her parents? I was a little screwy, but then my father weren’t exactly average, and he never looked at me funny or told me I was weird.

We move to France when I was nine. The years that followed are oddly dim and blurry in my mind. For about a month I cried my eyes out saying “I hate you France” Imagine, they drag me from California to the South of France, pretty weird huh. But then I guess I just accepted the thought that I’d never live in the most populated state in America again. At school I was hated by some saying

“Grosse americaine!” and others were fascinated by me.

In Junior High I started to be normal, my teacher always misinterpreted my name saying

“Elea Simoienk?” Its Elea Simone I say, and people start to laugh.

I actually started correcting my parents French like

“banjower madame” my dad says, It’s not “banjower” its “bonjour”

I also made friends and it went fine. I guess it’s not that bad here. But I must’ve been killing time and the anguish of a new life by drawing sketches archived by my Father. Nancy, little lulu, old Walt Disney, betty boop, popeye, golden books and etc. inspired and obsessed me, thanks to brain washing, vintage education. Puberty made me become self-conscious, and I tried to conform to fit the school standard even though I never succeeded in that branch. Sketchbooks were always with me, and illustrated diaries full of teenage angst.

During my late adolescence my Father’s increasing fame started to loom over me, as I slowly realized it was my fate to forever be compared to “The Legend” if I kept on drawing. My parents are keeping a low profile as writers and artists, and it was a heavy thing trying to find a style, an artistic identity of my own, impatient and frustrated. I found refuge in my teenage life: hash, beer, boys, drama, high school dorms and grungy bongo parties filled my days and my sketchbooks. I took an art in school and love life drawing and art history but was skeptical of the badly taught, pretentious contemporary art curriculum. Still, art class and English class are what got me through high school without flunking, as I spent most class time doodling and daydreaming. After a couple of years in stretching my brains in college I finally graduated and I knew that at some point I made my parents proud of me. Paris! Big city life, freedom, weird Moroccan waiter boyfriends and circus school; being a pseudo English teacher for fancy Parisian companies where suburban secretaries would rant about their unhappy marriages in bad English; living in a bad neighborhoods and exploring dive bars and the streets of Paris on bike at night; meeting artists and musicians, good and mostly bad. The buzzing life that surrounded me was still exhilarating and stimulating. But art-making was still a confusing issue. I did manage to finish a comic or two and even publish some. But my sketchbooks were the place I had the most fun, not having to worry about all that. It wasn’t a “work”, and I drew freely, letting it all spill out.

For days I’ve been thinking about to go back to US, maybe get a job there and see what happens. I told my parents about it, my dad agreed to it although my mom is obviously against about it, but they can’t stop a dreamer from dreaming, and they said “Go on, we’ll be fine here”. As I’ve arrived in Brooklyn, N.Y. Airport I thought “I should rediscover my homeland, maybe it would somehow liberate me in all levels and solving certain identity issues, my own identity issue” and then I laugh. I almost got lost looking for 10 East 53rd Street, New York, 10022. Glad that I found myself in 52ND St. I was walking around in circles trying to find some signage and there it is, a tall building, kind of eccentric but good. The room is in minimalistic style, and liked it so much so I never moved anything. I never had much sleep in my second day in New York; I didn’t even touch my stuffs nor have some coffee. As I’ve stood up and look through the glass wall I saw a great “moon deli drew” coffee shop in front of the building that I’m staying. “What a surprise” I say. I published some more and drew a lot, feeling free and identifying some-what with the edgy, outsider, punk youth-culture in the bay area and then in New York City.

On the next day it was a bit gloomy, it’s Monday and I need to get up and get my exhausted butt to work. I think I’ll made up early at work if I’ll ride a cab so maybe there’s nothing wrong if I’ll have a little coffee first in deli. As I enjoy myself viewing the newspaper a light strikes my eyes, it was a man’s sunglasses, and it reflects the sun to me. The man was in a hurry stepping into the coffee shop, and I found my eye’s following him until he get out in the deli’s and until he was a bit blurry from afar.

As I got in the condo from work I feel totally washed out.

“What a luck! What a gift! What a crazy existence!” and then I lay in bed

“What the hell am I doing here kvetching and moaning? I should be doing so much good stuff for the world or at least for me!” and then I stood up and look in the mirror

“Every 4 seconds, once acre of forest turns into desert and most of the world is dying…but I’m not” I sighed heavy.

“If I were to try to make my dreams come true what would I do? I can’t be an activist, some people aren’t made to deal with people I’m incapable of that” I walked to the kitchen and get some glass of vodka.

“My dreams are selfish I’d love to be a nomad and do art and make a living with it” I open the sliding glass door and I stood there in the balcony.

“Well I guess I’ll just a have a vodka and wait for the things to happen”.

I saw that man again in the Deli’s he was sitting there, having chitchat with someone. I saw him two times in a day and that could be something. “Maybe that’s the girlfriend” I say. After a minute of talk the woman left and the man was still there sitting, nodding and not moving while me, I was just there in the balcony standing, then all of a sudden…

“Lolai lolai lolai” as the gypsies sing

“Oh God I forgot I live in a gypsy neighborhood in Brooklyn” I say.

It always gets out of hand and ends up a big mess. Sometimes they annoy me so much, and the worst is that I hate being woken up. Everyone still thinks it’s the greatest neighborhood in Brooklyn because there’s always excellent gypsy music. But it’s New York City, and it’s the city that never sleeps.

On the next day at exactly 6:00 am, I stop by at Deli’s to grab some espresso. I sat at deli’s tables outside the corner and relishing every effort I drew like creeps and bumps, junkies, wing-nuts, train-riding, crusty brats and street artists then suddenly “Can I sit here?” a man said. His voice could be foghorn loud when he was blooming out a guffaw but it was normally mellifluous. It took me a second to answer; it was him, the man on deli’s, so I just nod my head. He’s so intimidating, why is that? I couldn’t make a single move. He’s eyes speaks more than his mouth, like one look would say anything and he wouldn’t have to talk.

Its half past 7 and I’m still here, my knees are quivering.

“Why am I leaving?”

“What am I gonna do after?”

“What about him?”

Like what about him? Why would I care about him? I brush off from that table immediately.

And from that day I always await for him in the balcony. By weekdays at exactly 6:00 am he would stop by carrying his briefcase at deli’s first for some café latte and a raspberry muffin, by 1:00 pm he’ll drop over with his co-workers and order a cup of espresso macchiato and by 6 pm until he’ll finish the last sip of flat white coffee it would take him an hour to leave his favorite spot in deli’s. By weekend he would be at deli’s by 10:00 am wearing casual clothes, he usually wear nifty clothes. He have this Mohican cut and as he glide with an athletic grace without skipping a bit his hair would fall perfectly. He had a manly Samson physique and his derringdo personality and bass voice were a big part of his ambitious character.

I have this part of me “nosy” and so I asked the barista at moon deli drew about the guy.

“Hey can I have some café mocha, and oh make that two!” I say.

“Two café mocha coming right up”, she said.

“The other one is for you”, I smiled.

“We don’t accept anything that comes from our own menu, but anyway thank you” she said.

“Actually I just want to know the name of the guy who always carries with him his briefcase, you know that French guy?” I say

“Oh Mr. Adam he’s not French he’s Irish” she said.

“Adam, hmm that sounds sexy” I chuckled.

At my room I always feel like I’m losing my grip, losing my touch with reality…like I’m a ghost but it kind of feels alright.

“I just want to bash my head in from time to time no biggie” I say while I’m waiting for my family to call me.

“Whattevah New Yoahk City” I say.

-telephone rang-

“So how’s Brooklyn?” My mom said.

“Good, t’was great I’m really getting to it” I say

“Well you don’t sound like, you know you can always comeback Elea” she said

“Mom please don’t start” I said.

“You can’t please everybody with your work so what’s the use trying?” she said.

“Mom I’m halfway through” I said.

“There would always be someone to criticize you and put you down” she said

“Sorry mommy, sorry to not be doing what’s best for me, but it’s just what I need, after all you did say I was on my path of truth does that include every bad choices I make?” I said

-hang up-

We quarrel sometimes, and sometimes we weep. I’m too tired trying to have a good conversation with my mom; I better leave it this way. The next morning was a sunny n’ warm day so I went for a dog run then I gave myself a punky 80’s mullet but cute haircut I hope Adam would see me now. My sketchbook was filled with “Adam Anatomy” I watch for him to walk by my glass window every single day, I woke up 5:59 in the morning so that I could exactly holdup a minute to see him pass by. I always look down waiting for him to sit on his favorite spot at moon deli drew.

The next day was a very fine day but I woke up late, it’s already 8 in the morning and I missed Adam to pass by. “Great, just great and now I have to wait for him by 1:00 pm” I said. Its 1:30 and I’d never saw an Adam walking in the 2nd avenue he’s always on time and always in a rush in daytime, but now? Hours past and I finally saw him sitting in his favorite spot. I notice that he always order a cup espresso “Espresso is not far from his personality, he’s always in a hurry and espresso is strong one it makes him to be always on the go. Maybe this man knows how to get what he wants and always on the way of getting it” I said. While I’m savouring the moment by looking at him, he lift his head and looked at the sky and then he looked at me instantly and I immediately ran inside the room and I hide in the curtains.

Today was quite a bit weird day. I never saw him in any time of the day. By the next day, I only saw him once it was Saturday and he didn’t stay long at deli’s. It’s been three weeks and still, I never had a chance to see him passing by or sitting on his favorite spot while I glance at the glass window from time to time. Days past, days turns to weeks, weeks to months, and months to year it is unmarked, except in relation to how long it will be before I’ll see you again. Alone in my room, I receive no guests, I rarely go out. Having stopped out of work, I’ve lost contacts with my friends: I’ve withdrawn from them, and they from me. My days are as long as despair can make them. I begin taking endless and exhausting walks to nowhere, just block after block into Brooklyn or over the bridge into Manhattan. I spend hours of each day sitting on a bench on the promenade, looking at the bridges over the East River, sometimes turning to consider the houses behind me, wondering in which Adam lives, if he still lives near there.

I’ve had too much fun breaking into abandoned buildings, sleeping parks, falling in love and getting my heart broke for a year. I was wild out of control, it was great. But sometimes I felt quite at home, but disillusion and decrepitude slowly replaced the awe. “I want to see you again Adam” I said while blowing my cigar. “Where could you be?” You left a heart that is tired to grow, I’m hurt, haggard, growing more and more clueless and lost, a sort of endless heartbreak and disbelief. I got screwed. How come no one warns me that all the endearing, youthful confidence, ambition and energy are just kind of wear off. The pain, the suffering, the tedium, all the crap that made me stronger, it all just helps clarify the vision of my wretched sorry horrible existence. I have my little escape methods and still, what seems to “count” is what I went through that changed me. The heavy moments without realization, I was altered and there’s no going back.

“Sweetheart?” my dad said on the phone

“Dad I’ll caught a plane back to France” I say

“What’s going on Elea?” my dad said.

“Nothing that concerns you dad” I say.

“When will you coming home?” he said

“Maybe next week” I say.

“You tell me everything that happened to you in there, okay?” he said

“Okay” I say.

I spend a lot of time in boutiques, trying on clothes I have no intention of buying, looking at myself in the dressing room mirrors. I’ve always been drawn to mirrors, not out of vanity but for re assurance. I’m in there, and I don’t resist any reflective surface-puddles, and shop windows. As I look outside the glass window of the boutique a light strikes my eyes, it was a man’s sun glass he pass by across the street from that boutique. I instantly follow the guy until I was out from the place, he was heading straight off to moon deli drew and knew it was him, it was Adam. His wrestler’s shoulders were part of his burly physique. His gap year clothes always made him appear younger than his years. The swirl of his cologne had me swooning in the aisles. “It’s been a year, and we never had a conversation maybe by now I could say something” I say while I’m following him.

There he was sitting on his favorite spot. His Irish mariner-blue eyes were soft and swam with joy, it is orb round with gleam and delight. I want to get close to him, but as I got nearer a woman just pop in the scene, a winsome type, voluptuous and so fine that every man would drop dead. I was knock off for a minute, they we’re happy and so I should be for him. I turned back and walk away, deep down in me was hurt and a part of me was gratified after seeing him again. I don’t know what’s got into me that I walk back to my track, I just thought that “I’ve waited for him, I’ve been wondering for a year about where could he might be, and now? I just want to hear something from him,

“Am I making myself look loony?” I said

“Hi” I said

“Uhm hello, do I know you?” Adam said.

“No but I know you” I said

“Have we met before?” he said

“Who is she?” the girl asked.

“I know this would sound so weird but…” I said.

“What do you want? I think your lost sweetheart” the girl said.

“Let her speak Talia” Adam said.

“Am I missing something here? Is there something that I didn’t know?” she said

“Talia please just let her talk” he said

I ran away from their table, I ran as if I was being chased. Did I just embarrass myself? I think I just made myself look stupid in front of them.

Days past, my remaining stay in Brooklyn is soon will end. I have let go all that pressure of living up. I don’t really expect much from myself as art-wise, maybe in a few drawings. Maybe if I’ll go back to France I can figure out all the abnormality, perversion and zaniness onto paper.

Dear Adam,

Since I’d never had a chance to talk to you this letter might be a good one to start. I’m Elea by the way, I know you don’t know me but your eyes consume me, eyes that see me but never know me. I summon the oceans to drown every pain since I never saw you coming to “moon deli drew” and that sleep is where I hide. I guess I’ll learn to take the good with bad, I’ve been waiting for you to pass by my glass window and that I’m fleeting from this truth but I can’t flee indefinitely. I don’t really have an idea why I ended up in New York but it leads me to you, It's just that when the truth is like a stranger, it hits you right between the eyes. I guess I’ll just go back from where I should be. These nowhere's and no times are the only home I have. Je te regardrais toujours, meme si tu es telement hors d’atteinte.

All my love,

Elea

#createwriting #shortstory

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houseofvans · 6 years

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ART SCHOOL | MICHAEL C. HSIUNG | VANS US OPEN 2018

Michael C. Hsiung has a special imagination, one filled with mermen, dragons, creative landscapes and intriguing narratives. His humorous illustrations will evoke your inner child and leave you wanting more. If only everyone could see the world through his eyes, maybe we’d live life a bit more light-heartedly. Now let’s dive into who this creative genius is and what he created on this year’s Vans US Open skate and BMX course.

Photographs courtesy of Ginger Caranto

What is your background? I was born in Chinatown, Los Angeles and raised in the San Fernando Valley. My folks emigrated from Taiwan to the US in the mid-late 70’s, and I grew up in Northridge where I discovered art, comic books, fantasy, skateboarding, Dungeons & Dragons and heavy metal. Now, I’m a self taught artist who has been lucky enough to draw and show my art to folks who hopefully like a good chuckle or two.

How did you get into art? My childhood was always filled with drawing, scribbling, and coloring books. I was always really stoked on comic book art, Dungeons & Dragons artwork, Pushead, Frazetta, Gorey and anything with skulls or dragons.

How did you start making art / what drives you to continue to do so? I grew up doodling, coloring, and using my imagination to play and have fun. So naturally I always kept a sketchbook or journal to record my thoughts through drawings or doodles. Tried endlessly to draw my own comic to no avail. Eventually I stopped drawing for a long time because I just didn’t think my drawings were good enough. I didn’t think I had the talent for it, so I stopped. Years passed . . . I didn’t find myself drawing anymore, not until, I moved back to Los Angeles in 2007. I was hanging out with my old skate friends, and one of them was making art (Mike Stilkey - amazing artist), as was my sister, Pearl. They both encouraged me to draw with them while we chilled out from nights out on the town or when we were killing time. It was the perfect window for me to create and revisit drawing.

Eventually with enough encouragement through my friends and various random folks on the internet, I started to draw more and more. This eventually led to me showing work, taking on projects, and ultimately finding a purpose for myself. That was about 10 years ago, and it has been quite the ride. What drives me to continue has changed over the years, as I think it does for most folks who try and make a living doing art or freelance. It isn’t a easy career, though it may seem super fun and exciting, which it is of course. But also there’s what the reality is too– it is a lot of work, sacrifice and constant ups and downs. That being said, drawing is so much a part of who I am that while it has its challenges I know if I stopped, I’d be unsatisfied with life. I draw and make art to keep my sanity, and hopefully bring joy to folks who come across it.

Who are your biggest influences? Hands down my older sister Pearl who is an amazing artist and painter. She was always drawing me things or painting my door with cool comic characters. Later on in life, she encouraged me to draw again, just for the therapy side of having an outlet.

What does your creative process entail? My process has changed over the years. I used to just sit down, draw immediately, form ideas, and BOOM – that would continue for many years. Nowadays, I really have to find time and a spark or inspiration, then spend the hours sitting, pondering, sketching, and erasing before I even get to the point of wanting to pen in the lines. Sometimes I chuck things before they have even been half way finished. It is hard not to overthink what you do when you’ve been doing it for a bit, but I try and stay fresh by focusing on ideas and interests that inspire me. I also try and create a fun and relaxed environment in my studio with little to few distractions–almost as if to take me back to when I was a kid drawing just for drawing’s sake.

What is your most important artist tool? Is there something you can’t live without in your studio? My most important artist tool is my imagination. Growing up I was lucky to really have to use my own imagination to play and create worlds, which has helped me as an artist. Imagination and creativity is what gives life to my art.

Many of your drawings feature a hybrid animal. Who is this character and what does he represent to you? I think the first hybrid animals I started drawing were merman. I am fascinated by mythology and old tales, so I wanted to re-imagine what these creatures were like, who they were, and why the mermaids left them. I started to create these stories in my head, so I wanted to draw out my own narrative. I love reading and exploring the origins of mythological creatures such as centaurs, harpies, satyrs and then re-creating my own tales about them in the modern world or with modern vices. They allow me to explore the world in a different way as well as express my passion for cryptozoology, mythology, and fantasy.

Where do you find inspiration for your work? Inspiration is a strange thing, but I get inspired by things I read, strange facts, old books, sometimes movies, adventurers, old tales, friend antics, mythology, fantasy, crystals, nature, skateboarding and the list goes on. I try and let my mind find other interests that can inspire my work in a new direction.

How has your style changed over your career? When I started drawing again in 2007 my art was looser, naive, and more freeform but thematically I was drawing what I touch upon now. I was and am still drawing mermen, weird animals, and strange people. I’ve worked on honing my ideas, drawing with intention, and making my art cleaner, straighter and well executed. That’s what happens when you start to show art with other amazing artists - it makes you up your stuff!

Can you tell us about the mural you created for the Vans Park Series course? This year for the Vans Park Series course I created four different painted illustrated pieces–a bear skating on all his paws, a Slip-On shoe wizard, a mustached dude on a log board, and a bear with a sun hat on one as well.

The bear on the board is a character I’ve been drawing for a few years. She’s kind of a combo of a California State bear, a friend and a reference to my last name, which in Chinese translates to BEAR. Bet you didn’t see that one coming ha.

Well I’m super into wizards and super into Slip-Ons, so it was just a natural thing that came to being hah. I did that piece for my wife Rachel too! I even added some crystals for her since she’s a total rock hound.

The last character is just a rad cruiser dude who I imagine seeing all over town just laying back on his deck with his road soda. Just enjoying life.

What is your favorite part about painting a mural? My favorite part about painting the mural is when you see it getting shredded by all the amazing skateboarders!

What was the painting experience like working with multiple artists on the course? It’s such a great bonding experience when you’re painting a huge skate course in 3 days with other artists. I love seeing everyone’s approach, style and learning about their art and who they are.

It was my first time meeting Benjamn Marasco and Ellen Rutt, and I have to say those are some inspiring folks. They tackled their massive murals within tough conditions and never flinched. I love that.

It is always fun to work alongside Jack Graydon! He’s the best. You wanna learn about spray paint? Jack’s your man. You need help with a color choice, Jack is the man!

Then it was a special treat to work with artist and bud Phil Morgan. I don’t know how to explain it, but it was real special. We helped keep each other on track and just like always bounce ideas off each other. Lots of time I feel like you’re working out your problems in the bowl with other artists. It’s fun!

Do you have a favorite memory from your time spent at the US Open? So many fun and memorable moments, but my favorite memory from the time in the park was definitely the last day when we were all finished with our murals and sitting together on the spine looking around and checking out each other’s pieces. I mean you spend most of the time there focusing on your mural and painting that you don’t actually get to see each other’s work before it gets skated - so that end moment is special :)

What was the most challenging part of the mural you created? The most challenging part of the mural really is the weather (super hot in the bowl!) and painting on the transition. You don’t realize how many muscles start working until you wake up the next morning. Standing and balancing while trying to paint a straight line is probably the hardest part, but you learn to get loose and go with the flow. Let it flow!

Do you have any advice for people who have dreams of becoming an artist? My advice to people who have the dream of becoming an artist–if you have a great imagination, feed it with books, music, art, and play a board game once in a while.

Follow Michael on Instagram and check out his online shop here.

#Art #Vans #Vans Art #Vansusopen #vansskate #Michael Hsiung #Interview #Art School #Huntington #Mural #artists #Humor

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edelwary · 6 years

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when you were first getting into art, what and how did you draw? (like did you just doodle ur masterpieces on pieces of paper and posted-notes or did you have a proper sketchbook) how did you find motivation? bc ive been trying to draw but I always get unmotivated and stop while still wanting to get better just by doing nothing.

REALLY LONG, LOTS OF ADVICES FOR ARTISTS :

TL;DR ; skip to the HOW TO ACTUALLY FUCKING DRAW part bc i have a megaton of shit to say lol + The MOTIVATION part

mmh… I’ll get into details with this one tbh bc it’s a long ass process ahah :

I live by the sea ; when i was youung i used to draw TONS of boat, but like, dollhouse boats, you could see the insides and stuff ; i loved to add tiny details and stuff, and imbricate everything together !

around 8 or 9 yo, i went to the public library with school and discovered the wonderful world of mangas ! I basically… Copy pasted an entire Mermaid Melody tome x)

For about 2 years i alternated between reading mangas and trying to copy them ! Then i just kept drawing in the margins of my schoolwork for about… 5 years ! I have a Fuck Ton of sketchbooks of that time, it was… The start. Lol. Never say it’s bad because it’s never bad, just not there yet !!

Around my 13 yo, i went every saturday, for two years, under a bookstore ; there was a cave, and drawing classes ; that teacher was mean and harsh and stuff, but like… Not really. He would take away my eraser for the class, force me to use pencil, to draw something else (bulky boys instead of magical girls).

I’ve learned a lot, more in terms of How To LEARN to draw than to draw itself, but i still progressed a LOT !!

Then i kept drawing by myself for a year and i really worked hard on it ; about hours a day, trying watercolors and stuff ; i have a real problem with colors in traditionnal art, but i’m much better with lines (i should scan some RAD stuff i made in the weekend, yall ive never done anything this good i stg i dont know why i always forget im so much better on paper)

This gets us to my sweet 16 ; i have to year of advance, bc i got ‘’’promoted’’’ idk how to say it ; anyways, i entered my (current) animation school for the first year at 16; vERY IMPRESSIVE AND TERRIFYING.

And i learned. A fuckmegaton. Of shit there.

Now i’m going for my third year there and i can make photorealistic marmora blades and cyberkpunk decors if i want to and that’s rad, but here is

HOW TO ACTUALLY FUCKING DRAW :

I have one HYPER important advice, and i’m keeping it to heart since i’m like, 11 : Have. Sketchbooks. Please !!! It’s very important. Here’s why :

You keep everything with you in one place. You have 1 sketchbook, it’s basically easy to take every where (a A5, or A4 are pretty easy to carry, i have like, 12 of those, and around 8 of A3)

You keep track of what you’ve done. It’s super important, bc first you can cry of laughter at your old stuff bc its cute but not so good, and second, you can just be like ‘holy mama’ and see how much you’ve improved

It’s very important to be organized. I WORK in art, and trust me, if there’s something that i’ve learned this year through tears and missing files and bugs : Be. Impeccable. Now if it’s for fun, go a little loose, and just have a folder for art on your computer, and a sketchbook, no need to stress, but the better you try to keep a record of where is what, the better you’ll see whats wrong

Notebooks are friends !! You can draw, write, glue stuff, make notes, lists, everything !!! I have my life in those. It’s more important to me than any of my phones.

Be proud of it. Like, not everything, duh ! But try to tell yourself than it’s like a RPG ; even if it’s only 2 xp here and there, one day you’ll beat level 40, and that’s super important : art is. Fuckin. Long.

I cant stress it enough. It’s soooo long !!! SO LONG !! it’s years. It’s like karate and fishing and ANYTHING. To be good at it, it takes time, but it WILL COME if you keep trying. There’s no secret passage.

You’re gonna me it, believe in me who believes in you.

Use. References.

Coming from a little shit who’s got a really good visual memory, that can sound like bs, but i stg everything is always AT LEAST twice as good if you’ve used a visual support.

I’m not saying COPY EVRYTHING (even though thats a good training) I’m saying, if you really want to do that asian tiger, please have at least two or three pictures of it nearby. Take photos of your hands, and stuff !

Make it harder.

No eraser.

Paint.

I draw all my backgrounds on my sketchbook with INDIAN INK; no returns, no refunds.

Ink, Ink, INK !! Don’t allow mistakes.

And if you make mistakes :

New page, restart

It’s okay

It’s for you

I once started back again a whole EXAM bc it was bad, i got one of my best grades

You’ll improve and be more assured if you know you just have to DO IT. Trust me. It’s VISIBLE; if you can erase, you fidget and hesitate and ‘’kbeujebez hahhaaa idkkidsd’’ ; stop ; do it, and if you don’t like it ? Try again, there’s no time limit

Draw as large as you can

There’s no interesting story here, it just helps. Bigger movement of the hand, more place for details, breathing lines

Thin lineart helps

Thinner. Make it even thinner

Break the rules, but not the ones that structure your art

Big lineart ? Why not

Unfinished lines, vaporeous colors ? Pretty

Cubism is actually based on extensive and intense practice of classical art, it’s not wibbly wooblly ; the anatomy is more correct than you think

Structure and composition are important, but so is movement and life ; choose your fighter ; mine is fluidity and fun, i’m like, a rogue/archer in drawing. Some people are dwarf fighter. That’s amazing and great.

Don’t be afraid to do nothing

Pages and pages of my sketchbooks are actually just lance facing right and smiling, you know…

Sometimes it just doesnt work : two ways :

Take a break, Kiki’s delivery service style

Keep trying, break your art until it obeys and comes back

Take breaks. Breath.

Don’t compare. I do it, it doesn’t help at all. You’ll make it ; and if you compare, keep in mind that everyone’s different

I’m not gonna lie, it’s NOT easy, it’s even hard

But I really, really think it’s worth it

MOTIVATION :

My main bitch

I’m always pumped for art because i can LITTERALLY NOT do anything else ; i love reading and writing and stuff but at the end of the day i just want !!! to draw !!!! aaaaaa-

Fall in love with it, and with the possibilities ; i have stories to tell, tell me yours ! Do your best, one day it WILL work

Actual advices :

I have an inspiration blog where i just reblogs stuff i like to draw them later

Find a picture, copy it. Do it again. Change the characters (i have 2 ocs and Lance and Keith as default characters) in the pic.

Like an artstyle ? Break it to its very core, analyse it, copy it, redo it, trace it and ABSORB it. Don’t copy/past, LEARN from your heroes.

Do what you like. I have 86578 pieces of voltron, this is not a coincidence. I have ENDLESS ideas for this show, wtf.

Try new things. Buy indian ink im begging you. It’s so cool.

Have a game with yourself, or a challenge. STICK TO IT.

Study. When you’re bored, usually it’s because you’re stagnating. Make it harder or do hands until you cry.

Love your backgrounds; make backgrounds, study trees, and tokyo streets, and venice’s bridges. Decor is just as cool as characters, if not more

Mess a little with everything. My roomate more than one found me stained from head to toes trying to DO STUFF

Draw outfits. Draw what you want but can’t afford

MAKE YOUR LIFE A COMIC. Remember those sketchbooks ? Make a comic a week/month/every full moon, whatever, and draw your life (mine’s the roomates au lol)

Prompts blogs are cool too

Make fanart of a fic you liked ; you have the characters and the pose already, you just have to illustrate ; double bonus, you probably will make a writer’s day, if not year !

That little movie that plays when you listen to your favorite song ? DRAW IT

Your favorite scene in your favorite movie ? Redraw each shot. On post it. Plus it looks awesome afterwards to have the infamous TREX scene of Jurassic Parks in post it

Get bored. That’s inevitable. Dance, scream, get back to it. Walk, draw everything you see.

Make a paper google map street view : Take a walk : every 50 meters, draw what is in front of you.

Snapchats your friends. Draw their snapchats when they answer

Draw maps. Invent places. Invent bikes, and hovercrafts, and monsters. Make your everyday inventory. Make your life a video game, and do the concept arts of it.

FETCH your inspiration. I have approx. 20 artbooks, full of drawings and concept arts of my fave movies/games ; take what you like and add it to the story you have since you’re 8. We all have one.

Ask for it ; your sis, your mom, me even ! If you dont have ideas, someone will have them.

WELL i’m gonna stop there, even though i got like, 9864567 more to say, but with this you should be fine ! Anon, i’m rooting for you ! we all start somewhere, just hold on!!!!

#Anon you'll do it !!!!!!!!!!#asked #artist advice #art #i put my heart in this omg #it's 1.5 K WORDS #wtf #but yeah #you just gotta do shit and mess around

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some-flyleaves · 6 years

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Take a wannabe-happy-go-lucky-adventure-kid, give ‘em a black-and-white worldview and several very legitimate reasons to doubt they fall on the nice side of that worldview, a sprinkle of immortality shenanigans, and you might get something like this.

If I did a complete character writeup we’d be here for uhhh -checks watch- three months, probably. Maybe more. But since I’ve already posted spoiler drawings and an anticlimactic reveal, here are some notes and spoilerific scribbles ft. local protagonist Serena “wild child” Johnson.

To copy-paste from the Flynn writeup:

If you have no idea what [The Firebird Effect] is, the short version is that it’s a Pokemon XY-based “nuzlocke” comic that ran strongly 2016-2017, petered out, and has been sorta-kinda canceled. I don’t intend to pick it back up in its current state, but I would like to publicize as much as I had planned as possible. Someday. Eventually. Because why not.

A TFE plot summary is long overdue, but these doodles pretty much cover Serena’s major character beats and then some. Although some specifics are skimmed, the points of note actually cover a good amount of the plot, so without further ado:

As of the comic’s “last” page Serena is still very much in her “everything is fine” mindset, but something is not right. After a catastrophic incident involving the collapse of a mine, Serena’s got a mortal debt to pay.

I kept this vague in hopes of setting up a mystery, but in retrospect this was probably a mistake. This is where I’d link a certain Finding Nemo video but I can’t find it for the life of me; in short, though, one of the writers/directors/Important People talked about earlier drafts of the movie where the opening scene, where Marlin loses Coral and all but one of their eggs, wasn’t the opening scene, and this key backstory event was teased throughout the plot until its eventual flashback reveal. I was going for something like this with TFE and the mine incident, but--

The scene ended up being key to help viewers empathize with Marlin right off the bat. Without it, they spent the movie thinking Marlin was a stuck-up grump, and by the time his past finally got revealed, they didn’t care.

Now, I personally think making a character interesting is WAY better than making them ~sympathetic~, but here’s the catch: this big backstory event is vital to understanding the character’s motivations. Without it, viewers didn’t get why Marlin was being so overprotective. And I got a taste of this with some reception to TFE, where people weren’t connecting the dots:

As it turns out, the incident was no mistake, and Serena didn’t get away with it unnoticed as she thought. When one of her pokemon dies in battle, which should definitely not happen under any circumstances, her first thought is that fate finally caught up. However, this would mean admitting she did something terrible, and by extension she’s a terrible person, neither of which she’s willing to do.

(7/2/2017, based on this beauty)

When trying to put everything behind her via giving up battle doesn’t work, Serena instead decides to figure out exactly why Idir died. Though she believes everything happens for a reason, if she can find some other cause for his demise that isn’t “I’m awful and other people have to suffer for it,” that’d be swell.

Hence why, upon learning about Zygarde, she connects the dots: defender of the environment --> she kinda wrecked the environment --> therefore this is totally the legendary snake’s fault.

It’s... flimsy, at best, and Serena knows it, but she moves ahead anyway because again the alternative is terrible. Of course, things have a way of catching up regardless. Her team repeatedly questions her avoidance of battle, and she finds no help from Sycamore’s other pupils. In neither case is she willing to divulge a single detail of the mine incident, leading to frustration for everyone \o/ There are nicer moments, of course, but the overall takeaway is that Serena’s on her own with this.

Skipping several early events, shortly before the meeting with Flynn, Serena agrees to let the team challenge Cyllage Gym but has a nightmare about everything collapsing mid-battle. Immediately after waking (long before the pokemon do) she cancels the challenge. Obviously the team is thrilled, especially Alec. As they question the change of heart, enter Fletcher, a fletchling/fletchinder Serena befriended shortly after moving to Vaniville. Paying no mind to the team, he warns her that the “orange suit people” from around the mine are up ahead on Route 10.

The team, baffled, demands explanation. Serena finally discloses part of the mine incident story, specifically why she felt the need to sneak out in the first place--essentially, late night loneliness, and wanting to do something interesting before setting out as a trainer. (Her narration sugarcoats her frustration but the drawings say otherwise.) Fletcher found her in the middle of the woods, apparently lost, and suggested they explore a mysterious mine nearby; he recently noticed people smuggling weird minerals from it and wants to check it out. Serena trails off when describing what happened in the mine, however, saying only that they “got caught, but escaped” and offering no further details.

The team is still dissatisfied. Kojo is most sympathetic but admits this explains nothing. Frustrated, Serena recalls them all and treks ahead. Previous discoveries have led her to connect Zygarde & other ancient shenanigans to the Fleur Foundation*, and while she’s not certain they were involved in the mine, it seems likely. They are, again, a better explanation than comeuppance.

*As noted in Flynn’s bio, Team Flare got a major overhaul in TFE, including a rename to the Fleur Foundation. They’re essentially a criminal rehabilitation & public charity program. Although I used “Flare” in Flynn’s bio because the rename only came after his character was scrapped, I’ll be using “Fleur Foundation” or FF here since the draft summarized is much more recent. Apologies for any confusion.

Cue the meeting with an overenthusiastic FF* recruit, Flynn, which ends with Serena being pulled aside by a figure in a trenchcoat--not a familiar face, but she recognizes the voice as the helpful stranger from Glittering Cave. (Again, note that I’m skipping a lot here. The gist of that was that Serena really hates caves, but trenchcoat person knew their way around.)

The figure introduces herself as Malva of the Elite Four, who while famous is known better as a reporter who just so happens to have high ties to the League. She has her suspicions of the Fleur Foundation as well, but the League isn’t listening, so she’s conducting her own investigation. This is the second time now Serena has crossed her radar, and Serena is more than happy to have someone finally hear her out. She admits Zygarde was a silly lead, but it’s clearly led to something bigger. Malva agrees, much to Serena’s delight, and they agree to keep in touch.

(3/7/2018. Yes, the figure with one arm is Malva, and no, I wasn’t concerned about sticking to her canon design whatsoever.)

Of course, that would be too happy to keep up for long. At the Tower of Mastery, the team pleads with Serena to give them a chance to show their stuff, as they’ve assumed her reluctance to battle means they’re failing her somehow. This ends spectacularly; in the heat of the moment, Alec stabs Calem’s charizard in the throat, killing her instantly. Calem lashes out at Serena, blaming her for setting this up on purpose in some stupid attempt to get him on her side, and runs off before he can break down further.

The narrative follows him and other characters for a bit, and returns to Serena & team only in brief, choppy snippets: first Alec is sent out against Shalour Gym, then Kojo faces the same at Coumarine. Both obliterate the competition without much issue, though they haven’t been released since the Tower of Mastery and are unable to reach Serena.

She finally faces the team some unspecified time later (within the week? the timeline gets fuzzy around here), at which point she despondently demonstrates how useless the Mega Ring is and overall seems out of it. Kojo tries to snap her out of it, but he evolved in Coumarine and overestimates his strength; he ends up intimidating her more than anything.

At some point Serena notices a news blip on half of Lumiose’s power being dead and the Fleur Foundation taking workers at the local Power Plant hostage. Malva is delivering the report. The team tries to get her attention again; she recalls them immediately.

(4/17/2017)

Shortly after the above, Calem meets up with Serena and demands they talk. She’s still despondent as he states they should team up on the “why can pokemon die” quest. Calem emphasizes he’s not doing it for her, because his team won’t stop bugging him about it and he’s not sorry for how he dismissed her in the first place. (It’s more of a self-consolation than anything.) He concludes by asking Serena what she knows. She retorts with... some uncharacteristically scathing thing that I forget, probably something along the lines of “oh, sure, now you care,” and leaves saying that she owes him nothing.

AND SO we reach one of my favorite parts of the show, aka Serena Tries to Diffuse a Situation and Makes Shit Worse (Specifically for Herself). Her encounter with Flynn sets the stage, and has already been covered in his bio so I won’t repeat it here: in short, he reveals the Fleur Foundation’s true motives (or at least what they should be), that he knows that she set off the mine collapse on purpose, and he asks that she join him and fellow outcasts in the Foundation as part of an alliance to find out what’s really going on. Serena does not take any of this well and sics her team on him.

When the pokemon notice that Flynn can’t fight back, they find Serena trying to find a way into the Power Plant. She’s still not smiling and has even less patience for their questions, answering only what she’s trying to do: “The right thing, for once.” The team run with it, assuming that it’s a rescue mission, but once inside Serena sends Blythe (the furfrou) to find the hostages and keeps Alec & Kojo close. She uses them to intimidate and corner two Foundation admins, who swear they were just finishing up and will surrender as promised as soon as she lets them go; Serena won’t buy it.

At this point, Alec and Kojo are clearly hesitant, but still on guard. Meanwhile, one admin tries to play the “if you think we’re so bad look at yourself” card, but Serena brushes it off--she knows. This seems to be a cue for Alec and Kojo to attack, but neither do. Blythe suddenly reenters and announces they kept their promise; the hostages are free. The admins take advantage of the distraction and send a pokemon out to attack, then flee; the attack is aimed at Serena, but Kojo takes the hit. Then he glitches out of existence right before their very eyes!

There’s no time to mourn; police are entering. Serena books it, leaving Alec and Blythe to answer the authorities. She eventually reaches an abandoned subway station, where she gets a xtransciever call from her very concerned mother; before Grace can get to “I love you” Serena throws it a mirror, breaking both. (I have definitely drawn this moment before but can’t find anything right now. Mentioning it anyway for future context if/when I do.)

At this point Malva catches up, and upon seeing her Serena passes out from exhaustion. When she wakes up, Malva offers her trenchcoat and a bite to eat. With her coat off, Malva’s scar by her stump is visible; Serena asks about it and is treated to some Backstory(TM) involving a territorial talonflame (now Malva’s closest companion, Scree) and Malva being determined to finish what she starts. She mentions she probably shouldn’t have survived the raptor’s attack, but by some miracle did anyway.

Malva then asks what Serena plans to do next. Serena has a meltdown, confessing she doesn’t know and never really did. Her team’s gone, clearing her conscience isn’t an option, no one cares, and much as she doesn’t like hurting people she can’t seem to stop. Before she can get too far, Malva smacks some sense into her kindly tells her to shut the hell up, insisting that destruction is in human nature and Serena ought to embrace that. She can own her impulses. Serena, still stunned from the hit, doesn’t respond, which cues this motivational monologue:

(8/11/2017; pardon the weird pixelation on the second image, rewrote the dialogue because the original was late night chickenscratch but tfw wrong layer.)

After ^this and some other less dramatic words, Serena finally gets up. After some fussing, the details of which I forget, she decides the answer is to go climb atop the Power Plant and tell everyone to go fuck themselves.

(4/24/2017)

I really wish I didn’t forget what the details of this speech were exactly, or how she gets away with talking so long without authorial interception. (Granted, the latter part might just be me not caring on a first go and figuring I’d work it out later.) Of note is that the doodle above of this scene, the one where she has the glowy orange eyes, is titled “i suck you suck we all suck.” From what I do remember it boiled down to, well, that--Serena goes on some spiel calling people out (not by name but phrasing & panel images make it clear who she’s addressing) on their hypocrisy, herself included, and generally making a giant scene on live national television. Eventually she gets pulled down somehow--again, details are fuzzy, and this might’ve involved a psychic pull from Alec.

Regardless, Serena somehow avoids getting taken into custody for long, largely thanks to Malva pulling the strings--and from here I have about a billion different ways the story continued. I don’t remember exactly which one I was going with as of the “latest” draft, but more details of note:

That sweater’s an outfit mainstay from the Power Plant on. Apparently Serena also got a hold of Malva’s old white trenchcoat somewhere along the line, though I never clarified when and might’ve taken this point out entirely. Maybe after their post-Power Plant meeting? some other subsequent encounter? I kinda just doodled it because ~color symbolism~ and also It Looks Cool.

At some point between the aforementioned rant and... whatever’s next, Serena cuts her hair. The scene isn’t onscreen but the trim is also here to stay until further notice. (Fun fact: Serena hates having short hair; she thinks it makes her look like a boy, and ends up kinda feeling like one too.)

In some earlier drafts Alec and Blythe stuck around for a bit, only for Serena to give them the option of leaving and Alec took it without much deliberation. This got at least half scrapped in favor of Alec immediately joining the dude from the Power Plant, whether Flynn or the merged character. Blythe’s status was less certain, but he eventually ended up leaving as well, eventually regrouping with Alec and “crew” (Calem, Shauna, their teams, and Flynn & Ren/merged character).

Oh yeah, and he might’ve bit Serena on the way out, as an instinctive “you look threatening to me and I do not like that” response. Doge regretted this but left anyway.

The focus shifts to aforementioned crew for a while, partly to figure out what they’d be up to and partly because I kinda... didn’t know what Serena was doing.

I could best sum this part of the story up as a big discombobulated mess; eventually I worked out an endpoint but never quite cleared up how the pieces aligned to get there. As far as Serena’s concerned, she’s taken Malva’s words to heart; having thoroughly set every bridge ablaze, she decides she an at least finish what she started with regards to the Fleur investigation, then fuck off for good.

Also, for total clarification’s sake: The “mine incident” involved Serena and Fletcher following a trail of the aforementioned shining rocks deeper into the mine, assuming they were alone. (Said rocks SHOULD have been apparent in the opening, but confession: they didn’t become A Thing until later into development. Ah well.) Of course they weren’t; a few workers were finishing up for the night, and two quickly cornered the intruders. Panicked, Serena ordered Fletcher to attack; his flame missed the workers but shot further down the mine, which caught something on fire and triggered the collapse. Serena and Fletcher escaped unscathed; no one else was so lucky.

(8/18/2017; honestly I was just fucking around with the symmetry tool, but by sheer coincidence this is similar to the ASL symbol for butterfly and I can totally lie about it being intentional all along roll with that.)

We must briefly interrupt this tragic tale of angst and woe for BACKSTORY/WORLDBUILDING, which would have been more gracefully revealed through actual plot development but I never got around to figuring that out.

Turns out the Foundation does have a secret subgroup: after founder Lysandre Goodman (yes, that is his real last name) was forced to face his mortality via heart attack, he started an initiative to recreate the ancient device from AZ’s legend--though often remembered as a weapon of mass destruction, its first use was to grant immortal life. Those involved in said initiative, known as Project X, were Lysandre‘s trusted companions, people who he trusted to help him make the world more beautiful to eternity and beyond.

And then things started going very, very wrong. It started with a few minor technical issues, both in acquiring the mysterious mineral said to be shards of Xerneas’ life-giving antlers and recreation of the immortality machine itself. Then that damn girl blew up the mine out of absolutely nowhere; Lysandre achieved retribution through a slight tweak in code connected to her trainer card, which he didn’t expect to bite him in the ass until she kept showing up at the Foundation’s other mishaps. Clearly, someone is ruining Project X from within. By the endgame, Lysandre has committed suicide; in some drafts Serena was treated to this firsthand by being at the wrong place at the wrong time.

Also, remember that guy from the opening? who crawls out of the mine all zombie-like before hitting his head and apparently dying? Surprise, he isn’t dead! Gabriel Brandt, doctor and lead scientist for Project X, has a story of his own that, along with the Foundation, warrants its own infodump--but of most importance is that he tested a “beta” elixir on himself years ago, and long after the camera on his passed-out body switched away, he rose again.

In some drafts Gabe meets Serena and fills in several of these backstory holes shortly after the discovery of Lysandre’s suicide, with Gabe being present at the scene to pick up some remaining elixirs. He was never fully onboard with the “let’s make people immortal” gig, and Serena essentially tags along as he returns to the XLab to finish what he started. Later drafts tried to give Serena more agency by taking Gabe out of the equation entirely--still alive, dubiously, but dragged away by wild pokemon instead (which his very much alive brother is treated to via archived fsecurity ootage)--but this still left holes and I don’t think I ever filled them proper.

Basically, at this point Serena has an objective (finish what she started, kinda) but no clear plan to accomplish that. Instead the camera jumps around and backstory is dumped and it’s a mess.

Oh, and one more thing: where did Lysandre get the whole immortality idea from in the first place? Joke suggestion from Malva. She really didn’t think it would go this far.

But A N Y W A Y, you’re probably not here for writerly self-flagellation though if you are please ask, I have a lot to self-critique, so let’s skip to the good parts--aka Serena Blows Up Everything: Upscaled Edition.

(7/1/2017)

You might have guessed that this is going nowhere good. You’d be right! :D Several Fleur-related revelations later, Serena and the remaining characters’ paths converge at the “XLab,” located just northeast of Geosenge. (Or at least that’s the default location; I’ve toyed with it being deeper in the mine below Vaniville, coming full circle and all, but didn’t get far.) Yet again details are fuzzy, but of utmost importance:

Fletcher, by now a talonflame, is present. He’s integrated nicely among his wild peers by now, and he certainly doesn’t recognize this short-haired intruder. Congratulations, you have now equipped one (1) big fucking injury!

Being the XLab, there’s at least some experimental potions nearby. When Serena comes to she gets to have some fun confrontations with former “friends,” and upon realizing where she is and somehow figuring that Malva’s also in the building, she advises them to get out ASAP. She apologizes, for everything really, and leaves them behind to travel deeper into the Lab. An emergency shutdown may or may not be triggered at some point here; Serena pays it no mind.

And so we finally arrive at Serena and Malva, alone, with a big rebuilt device between them. Malva, standing high at the controls, is trying to set the system to destruct mode, and looks down on Serena both literally and figuratively. Frankly she doesn’t want the kid getting more involved in this mess than she already is; sure, the original plan was for Serena to destroy things so Malva didn’t have to get her own hands dirty, but after the mishap at the Power Plant and especially seeing Serena now, Malva’s done. It’s just... sad.

Serena only smiles. She holds out a lighter or torch or Alec’s stabby wand or SOME other source of fire, again an important detail I didn’t get around to figuring out, and the following exchange occurs:

S: You wanna see something sad? M: Do you have the guts?

Serena takes a moment, looking at the reflective side of the device and its decidedly very exposed and, if the mine was anything to go by, highly flammable fuel source. One final exchange--

S: I’m sorry. M: Don’t be.

--and everything flashes white.

BUT WAIT THERE’S MORE.

...Yeah, I had to split this monster of a “““summary”““ into two parts, because tumblr was starting to break the formatting. Joy!

#''I'm just going to cover the character beats'' -ends up dumping a majority of the plot-#I mean protagonist development/overall story should go hand in hand but WELP #closest thing y'all're gonna get to a summary for now and I gotta say It Is A Lot ;V #The Firebird Effect #for lack of a doodle tag #there are images throughout this time though I swear

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aliceinthewritingrepublic · 6 years

Text

Come to Me

Title: Come to Me

Fandom: Boku no Hero Academia

Pairing: Midoriya Izuku/Reader

Rating: T

Word Count: 2211

You were planning to spend your birthday alone. Instead, Izuku invites you to meet his mother for the first time.

Over the past few years, you had found yourself liking your own birthday less and less.

The reason for that was not only that you were by now at an age where you would have preferred to grow younger rather than older. Aside from that problematic, it had also been a while – a few years, truthfully – since you had been able to celebrate your birthday with your family, the way you would have liked to. As such, you were not all that excited.

Your boyfriend, on the other hand, was very excited to celebrate your birthday with you for the first time.

“There’s only three days left until your birthday! Have you decided what you want to do yet?” Izuku asked, smiling at you as brightly and kindly as a person could smile.

“I’m not sure I want to do anything. I think I’ll just stay home and do nothing for a day,” was the well-thought-out plan you shared with him.

It was obvious from the look in his eyes that that would not do. There was no way in hell he was going to let you spend the whole day feeling sorry for yourself instead of celebrating. And he had made sure to bring along a suggestion that would surprise you into foregoing your intended day of sloth.

“My mom offered to make a cake for us,” he announced, scratching the back of his neck before correcting himself. “Well, for you. And I asked her to. Would you like to come over to my mom’s place with me on your birthday? We can spend the day doing nothing while we’re there, if you’d like to.”

A warmth swelled along your cheeks and inside your ribcage at his invitation. He did know you well enough to know that you did not actually want to spend your birthday on your own. You simply had trouble asking for things you wanted. It was something you were working on, but as of now, you still required others to extend invitations to you in order to feel wanted.

“I’d love that.” You were not lying.

When you arrived at Izuku’s childhood home, your heart was beating in your throat. He had promised that his mother was going to love you, but that had done little to alleviate your stress. What were you going to do if she didn’t like you? What if she thought you were not good enough for her son? You wondered whether she knew that she had raised the most perfect man alive.

But you need not have worried at all, you found. The door opened before the two of you, and before you could even finish saying, “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Mrs. Midoriya,” you were enveloped in a warm hug from a small mother with a very mother-like scent about her.

“Call me Inko! I’m so happy you’re finally here! Happy birthday!”

You no longer had to wonder where Izuku got his sweetness from.

In the midst of a lot of ‘Thank you’s and ‘He’s told me so much about you’s (cue a blush on your boyfriend’s face) and ‘I hope you like chocolate’s, you were shushed inside and towards the kitchen table. The apartment was not large by any means, but it was well-furnished and gave the immediate impression of being a home more than anything.

Homemade triple chocolate cake. Things did not get much better than this.

Or, they did. Because it turned out to be one of the nicest days you had had in a long time.

While Inko was telling you how you were the first girlfriend Izuku had ever brought home, you caught the slight redness on his cheeks as he was laughing along with her. You had not realized that he had never taken anyone else to meet his mother, and you felt honored by this special status. You wished you were able to freeze-frame this situation for eternity: the moment you were sitting here, watching your boyfriend who was smiling and blushing and not bothered at all by the slight embarrassment his mother was raining on him. She was telling stories about what he had been like as a child and as a teenager, and you could not get enough of it, smiling and listening while eating your third piece of cake of the afternoon.

It was so simple, and so simply the best birthday you had ever had.

If you had not already felt welcome in this house, in this family, in this life at this point, you surely would have as soon as Inko brought up the offer for you two to stay overnight.

It had become late, and thus, you inevitably realized that she had coincidentally prepared enough dinner for three. After this coincidence was dealt with (in the form of a family dinner), Izuku went to prepare his old bedroom for the night while you and Inko did the dishes together.

Conversation came easy with her. It was obvious how much she loved her son, and perhaps it was this common ground that had made her so willing to welcome you. Never had a boyfriend’s mother made it so simple for you to find a way in.

You had been wondering how much Izuku had told her about the less stellar aspects of your life. The answer came when, after a short lapse in talking, Inko brought up a topic she obviously did not quite know how to approach.

“So, [Name]…” She paused, handing you another clean plate to dry. “Izuku told me about your family situation. I hope you’re not upset with him for it.”

“No, it’s okay.” It was okay. Just because it was not a pretty story did not mean you were ashamed of it, and you knew Izuku only ever had your best interests at heart. He did not have an ill bone in his body.

“I just wanted you to know that if you ever need someone, you know, like, a mother to talk to… you can come to me.”

The tone in her voice was so kind and honest it was difficult to take. You swallowed, unsure whether it would be okay for you to hug her again to let her know how much her words meant to you. Instead, you simply ended up standing there and continuing to dry a long since dry plate.

“Thank you,” you eventually managed to get out. “Just… thank you. For everything. For saying that, and for the cake, and for being so amazing. I’m so glad I came here. It’s been the greatest day.”

The answer you got to that was another genuine smile from her. You were grateful for all of the things you had mentioned, and you were also grateful to know that Izuku had grown up with a good, loving mother. Truth be told, it was that knowledge that made you happiest of all.

When you retreated to Izuku’s childhood bedroom later in the evening, it was simultaneously exactly what you had expected and also not what you had been expecting at all. There was so much All Might paraphernalia. So. Much. The small room’s wallpaper was basically made up of posters.

It was so sweet, you thought, that Inko had kept his room untouched even after he had moved out, rather than to convert it into something else to better utilize the limited space in her small apartment.

“So, you’ve always been a fanboy, huh?” Already, you had stepped in front of a bookcase and begun to run your finger along the spines of the comic books there.

“It’s kind of embarrassing…” He trailed off. “But, yes. I only took the stuff I cherished the most when I moved out, though.”

You took the few steps you needed to get back to him and slung an arm around his waist, leaning into his side. Almost automatically, his arm, too, snaked around your body, holding you to him as if that were the most natural position for your two bodies to be in. (Because it was.)

“I love it.” It was true. You loved how unapologetically excited he could be about things, how pure his passion was when he was into something. You would know – after all, you were one of the things he was into these days.

You spotted something on his desk – an exercise book with a handwritten title on it.

“What’s that?” you wondered out loud, pointing to the object in question.

“Oh, that’s one of the notebooks about heroes I wrote.”

“Don’t you still write them, though?” You could have sworn you had seen him doodling into a similar notebook not that long ago.

“I do! That was the first one, though. It’s ninety percent All Might, to tell the truth.” He laughed, and you laughed along with him.

“Which issue are you on now?”

He hesitated for a moment. You were not sure whether he actually had to think about it or whether the number was simply so high he did not feel comfortable admitting it.

“…number thirty-four,” he eventually confessed in a small, yet amused voice.

So, without further ado, you sat down on his old bed together and started flipping through the pages. He pointed out his favorites, at times criticizing details from his old drawings. You personally thought that they were amazing, especially considering how young he had been when he had made them. Once you were done with one book, you moved onto the next, eventually arriving at number eight. The clock on the wall promised that hours had passed, although it had not felt like it at all.

Thus, the topic of sleeping arrangements became relevant.

Of course there was only a tiny single-person bed. You did not know what else you had been expecting. Izuku had put up a futon on the floor next to it to make room for two sleepers.

“So, you’re planning on making me sleep on the floor, I see?” you joked, knowing perfectly well that he had no such intention.

“No, I’m sleeping on the floor. You can have my bed.”

You, on the other hand, had no such intention, as he would soon find out.

Having prepared to go to bed first, you were already lying down in the bed while he was still in the bathroom. All Might was staring down at you from the ceiling. You nodded at him in a silent acknowledgment. He did not greet you back because he was a poster.

Then, when Izuku came back, planning to get cozy on the futon like the gentleman he was, you prevented him from doing so by reaching for his hand and entwining your fingers with his.

“Come to bed,” you requested.

“But it’s tiny,” he countered, saying nothing more. You knew you had won the second you had asked him.

“That just means we’ll have to cuddle up closer.” Your preferred sleeping position was half on top of him, and it was not a secret.

He did sit down on the edge of the bed, his body already touching one of your legs through the blanket. Of course you were going to get your way.

“But you can’t complain if you end up pushed against the wall.” Success. His barely-existent resolve to sleep on the floor had crumbled like the sham it had been.

“If I feel trapped, I’ll just push you out of bed.” As if.

For now, he lay down next to you. It was a tight fit, as Izuku very definitely did not have the beanstalk body of a teenager anymore. But you were lying halfway on his chest, head resting comfortably in that place between his clavicle and chest that was your favorite. One of your legs was hooked between both of his, and in this position, the mattress just so fit you both, and the blanket just so covered you. (Except, perhaps, for an inch or two of your back. It allowed for a draft of cold air that made for the perfect excuse to crawl into him even further, absorbing his physical warmth as if it were all you needed to survive.)

The lights were off now, and it was silent for a while. From his breathing, you knew that Izuku was still awake, which meant that he would hear you once you spoke.

“Thank you,” you whispered into his collarbone. “This was the perfect birthday.”

And it had been. Peace, and quiet, and a mother and son that wanted you to be a part of their family. It was all you could have wished for and more.

“You’re welcome,” he replied softly, but you were not done speaking.

“I can’t tell you how grateful I am to have you. I catch myself all the time, thinking how perfect you are and how I can’t believe you’re my boyfriend. Just… I love you. I love you so much.”

You did not know what you had done to deserve to be here, to be now, to be with him. But you were, and he, too, was here, and now, and with you. Somewhere along the way, you must have done something right.

“I love you, too. Stupidly much.”

You must have done something very right.

#reader insert #birthday fic #fandom:bnha #midoriya izuku #izuku midoriya #bnha #mha #bnha imagine #bnha imagines #bnha reader insert #mha imagine #mha imagines #mha reader insert #boku no hero academia #my hero academia #my hero academy #midoriya izuku x reader #izuku midoriya x reader #rating:t

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herroyalhighnessqueenmomo · 6 years

Text

Chasing Smoke (Billy Hargrove x Reader)

Request:Billy Hargrove x reader. Where reader is in love with him and tried to get him to go out with her and he always says no, and reader stops chasing him and he realizes he loves her too but she has already given up.

Summary:You would think falling in love would be a beautiful thing but when the person you fall in love with doesn't feel the same,it's kind of the opposite.

Warnings:Billy Hargrove, Cursing, AGNST, overall saltiness

They say it's a waste to try and catch smoke with your bare hands.You always think you caught it but without even realizing it...it slips right through your fingers.That disappointment,that feeling of time wasted,that's how Billy had made you felt.You had loved this wild boy with all your heart.You never thought you were missing anything until he showed up in your life.He turned your world Upside Down and made it feel like you couldn't love without him.

When you two first met you were in class honestly bored out of your mind with math.Your teacher going on and on even though half the class couldn't even keep up with his monotone voice.You decided to start doodling in your notebook.You were drawing the logo of Metallica,a band you've taken some interest in recently.

The door suddenly opened when a tall dirty blonde boy came in.His hair was styled into a mullet and he looked like hell on wheels.You couldn't hell but stare at this handsome stranger.

"This is our new student Billy Hargrove."The Assistant principal introduced him.

"Hello Billy,why don't you take a seat."

Billy nodded and looked around.Only one seat available,you were very thankful as it came out to be that the only empty seat in the class was right next to you.Billy smirked at you and you quickly looked down and continued doodling,not wanting to make eye contact.He walked over to the desk beside you and he sat down.The teacher continued his lesson.You noticed some girls were already staring at Billy and whispering things.No doubt commenting on his attractiveness.However you didn't want to make a big deal so you kept drawing.

Billy's curiousity struck and so he leaned over to you to figure out what you were drawing."Whatcha drawing there?"He asked looking at it."Nice you a fan?"

You put your hand over your chest from the surprise."Yeah I'm a fan.You like my drawing?"

"Love it."He said smirking."I'm Billy."

"I heard."You smiled back at him."I'm Y/N"You finished the drawing and handed it to him."Here."

He smiled taking it."Thanks Y/N.I think this will be the start of a beautiful friendship."

You nodded in return.So you did become great friends.Partners in crime.You helping him with school,girls,and baby sitting.Although it might sound like he was using you,you enjoyed his company and he always made you laugh.You'be grown to really like him.

You were sitting at a table eating some chips reading through some comic books that you "borrowed" from Dustin when you were babysitting the kids.

"Hey angel face."You heard Billy while he was sitting down beside you.

You hadn't looked up at all."Who's next?"You asked.

"What?"

"Next girl?"

"I can't sit with my best friend and talk to her?"Billy asked smirking.

You shrugged."Not really no."

He put his hand over his heart."You're breaking my heart here."

You laughed a bit."Yeah,I'm a real maneater."

He got very close to you...dangerously close."Maneater huh?How about you-"

You turned and punched his arm.A blush forming in your cheeks.

Billy burst out laughing loudly."You're so funny to tease."

You flicked him off."You're an asshole."

He smirked."Is that an invitation?Give me a time and place baby."

You gave him a death glare.He put his hands up."Alright I'll stop,I get it."

You nodded and went back to your reading.

"You know I love you right?"You froze a bit.

"Y-Yeah I know."You tried to remain calm.He meant it as a friend.

He smiled while he looked at you.You looked up at him then back down for a while.When you looked back up here was still looking at you.

"Is there something on my face?"You asked him.

"Just mine."He kissed your cheek and got up."See ya around Y/N."He said.

You were shocked,frozen,and red in the face. That boy was gonna be the death of you.After that whenever you were around him you were quiet.

The following week you had been sitting on the bleachers watching the boys play basketball.Correction you were staring off into space thinking about Billy.All of a sudden a hand was waved in your face.You blinked a couple times then snapped out of it.You turned to find out who the owner of the hand was,which was Nancy.

"Hey,what's on your on mind?"Nancy asked.

You shrugged."Nothing,just thinking."

She gave you a look as if she was expecting you to tell her or explain what you were thinking about.

"Just thinking about um what I need for groceries."You had clearly lied.

Nancy crossed her arms."You suck at lying."

You shrugged and looked back at Billy.You thought about all the times you were around him.The way he'd make your heart flutter when he had his arms wrapped around you.

Nancy waved her hand in front of your face again.You snapped out of it again."You're insane.You like Billy."

You snapped your head towards her."What?No.I mean yeah he's my friend.I kind of have to like him to be around him."

She shook her head."No I mean more than that."

You sighed."He's just a friend."

"But you want more?"She asked.

You sat in silence.

"How come you haven't said anything to him?"She asked you.

You burst out laughing a bit."If I did it would ruin our friendship."

"Who needs a friendship when you two could be in a relationship."Nancy stated.

You shook your head."He wouldn't feel the same."

"Why not?He loves you."

You gave her a look."Yeah as a friend."You stood up."I gotta get to class."You went down the bleachers with your stuff in hand.

Billy was dribbling a ball while pushing a guy back."Leaving already angel face?"

You nodded."I got stuff to do."

"Want me to drive you home?"

You shook your head."Nah my parents freaked out when they found you were the one driving me home."

"I'm a great driver."

You laughed."Trust me babe you and I both know that's not true.You almost killed somebody once."

He laughed."Fine,see you after school."

You nodded and left.You smiled thinking about it.You loved when he called you angel face.It felt special like he did care about you.

The day went on and when school ended you went to look for Billy at the parking lot.You were thinking about taking Nancy's advice and telling Billy how you felt.You spotted Billy by his car waiting for someone.Either you or Max.You walked up to him and he smiled.

"Hey angel face."He pulled you into a nice tight hug.

Your stomach started churning and you actually started to feel nauseous.You pulled away."Billy I have to tell you something."

His smile fell."What's up?"

"I um..."You took a deep breath."I um really like you...like a lot."You stated.

He looked confused."What are you saying?"

"I like you more than a friend."

He shrugged."I know."

You nodded then your eyes widened."Wait you what?You did?"

He nodded."After all chicks I've been with,I think I could figure out if a girl is into me Y/N"

You laughed a bit in embarrassment."Right."

"Don't worry about it.We can still be friends."Billy said and smiled at you.

Your mouth opened a bit.You were at a loss for words."Right thanks."You stated.You walked away.

"Angel face where are you going?"

"Home!Gotta cook dinner tonight."You replied .You honestly had no desire to speak with him anymore after that.

You walked home and when you walked through the door you ran to the kitchen to call Nancy.

"Hey Y/N."

"Don't you hey me.I took your advice and told Billy.He already knew.He told me not to worry,that we could still be friends."You ranted feeling very irritated.

"Wow what an ass.Maybe it's for the best.You don't need that jackass."She stated.

You sighed."I know but...I guess you're right."

"I'm sorry Y/N.Wanna hang out with me?"She asked.

You thought about it."Sure."

So you went to her house.You greeted Mrs.Wheeler and ran up to hang out with Nancy.You both talked and joked around till you fully felt better.

The next day of school you were having a decent day.At least until you spotted Billy with a girl on his arm.Probably just a new thing to keep his bed warm.You couldn't believe that after the conversation you took had,he just hadn't even thought about how it would make you feel.

"Hey angel face."

"Hey Billy."You muttered.

Billy looked at your face."You alright?"

"I'm fine."

The girl with Billy walked away.

Billy put an arm over your shoulders."You sure."

You looked at him.Your faces were merely inches apart. "Why don't you like me back?"You asked.

He pulled his arm away from you."I thought we agreed about this yesterday."

"No Billy,you've decided that I agree on this bullshit.I'm not okay with this."

Billy crossed his arms."Well I'm sorry Y/N but I'm just not into you like that."

You scoffed."Why?"

He stood there with no answer.You walked away from him.For the following week you would still hang out with him.Same thing with him,he’d tease you and treat you the same but your feelings hadn’t changed.When ever you brought it up he’d brush it off.Until you had enough.

“Screw you Billy.You can’t keep doing this to me.I’m so confused and you won’t do anything to make it better.I’m done.”You yelled at him in the middle of the hallway and flicked him off.

You felt so sick.You wanted to cry and scream all at the same time.

Billy’s eyes were shot open,never expecting you to actually react like the way you did.He was pissed. Maybe more with himself than anyone else.Truth be told he cared about you more than anyone else but he had too much pride to admit it.He loved watching you draw and hearing you rant about why math should be banned from high school.When he used to give you rides he loved hearing you sing along to the songs.He especially loved how honest you were,he found it hilarious.You were always there for him and he’d push you around.Billy realized how much he’d be losing without you around.He was gonna miss your smile,laugh,the way you talked,the way you danced a bit when you got excited.He was going to miss you.That’s when he realized he loved you and he screwed up hugely.

You stormed through the halls looking for Steve Harrington.Till you finally found him. ”Harrington!”You shouted.

He froze and looked at you with some fear in his eyes.He couldn’t ever recall a time he’s seen you so angry. “Did I do something to piss you off?”

“No but if you say no to my question you will.”

“What question?”

“Will you date me?”

He looked so beyond confused it wasn’t even funny. “Wait what?”

“Date me.Will you date me?Let me rephrase this. Will you please fake date me in so which Billy might not see me as a pathetic loser who is only on her knees for him?”You asked with your arms crossed.

Steve looked unsure. “I don’t know Y/N,don’t you think it’s a little wrong?”He asked.

“Not at all.”

He sighed.”What if it makes things worst?”

“I’m willing to face the consequences.Now are you done over thinking shit like a girl?I need a yes or a no.”You stated.

He took a moment to think.”Fine,yes.”He said.

You smirked and hugged him. “Great,we start tomorrow.”

The next day you got to school and had gone to Steve straight a way. Passing Billy who tried to say something to you.You grabbed Steve’s face with both hands.You put your thumbs over your mouth to cover it.You then kissed your thumbs making it look like you were in fact kissing him.You smiled at Steve.

“Morning babe.”You said to him.

You took his hand and walked away with him.

Billy was left in utter and complete shock.He had no words and stopped breathing for a bit.It was like a balloon just popped and it signified his hopes and dreams.He shook it off and got pissed that Steve stole you away from him.He was also pissed at you for getting over him too quickly.

“Y/N!”He yelled after you.

You turned around to see Billy with the angriest look on his face.

“What the hell Y/N?!”He shouted at you.

“Hey don’t yell at her like-”

“Stay out of this Harrington!”He shouted. “You up and left me yesterday and I was worried about us-”

“There is no us.”

“Let me finish!”He shouted at you.”I love you and care about you.I was going to apologize today!”

“Well don’t waste your time because I’m over this and over you!”You shouted back and walked away

#billy hargrove x reader #stranger things #billy hargrove

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