#what if maybe i started using this kind of like a personal blog hmm

[twilightmalachite]

Esu Sagiri - Idol Story 2

Author: Akira

Characters: Esu, Subaru

Translator: Mika Enstars

"Hehehe… But you know, even though I was crying like an idiot just by watching… You were smiling up until the very end and did your job perfectly as an idol, Senpai."

[Read on my blog for the best viewing experience with Oi~ssu ♪]

Season: Spring

Location: Cemetery

Second year of ES’ establishment. At a secret cemetery somewhere in Tokyo…

Subaru: (Dad.)

(I’m sorry I visited you so late this year as well.)

(I’m getting busier and busier year after year, you know? Although in Trickstar’s case, it’s more like there’s no leisure for the poor...)

(You wouldn't angry at that, would you though, Dad? ‘Cause you were much busier than I was, day in and day out.)

(Nothing could be done about that, though. You were a super idol who carried the industry on his shoulders, after all.)

(You never gave up, though. You never complained, and on holidays you would even be sure to come back home with a smile on your face just to make your family happy.)

(You sure are amazing, Dad. I’ve always admired you. And I’m now in the same position as you—I’ve become an idol.)

(As time passes, I’ve slowly realized more and more just how amazing a person you were.)

(It made me happy. It made me happy to be able to understand you, Dad.)

(Hey, Dad, I wonder if I’ve become an idol worthy of your praise.)

(If possible, I’d like to have you say “Wow, you’re amazing, Subaru!” if you were alive.)

(And I wish you could ruffle up my hair like I was a dog, just like you used to too, but…)

Esu: NwaaAAAAAAH!?

(thunk)

Subaru: …?

Hmm? Umm, are… you okay…?

Esu: Ah, It's okay, do not mind me! My arms are just outta shape, as it’s been a while since I’ve climbed! I bit off more than I could chew!

I took a dangerous route to get away from this creepy guy, and accidentally slipped from somewhere high—

Esu: —Wait, you’re Akehoshi SubaruuUUU!

Subaru: Yup. Huh, are you a fan of mine?

(This isn’t good. I didn’t really want my fans to know where my dad’s grave was.)

(Although his reputation’s been restored to an extent, there’s still a lot of anti-fans who believe those rumors and consider him the worst idol ever…)

(I don’t want that. What if his grave gets vandalized or something?)

Esu: Oh, no no! It’d be presumptuous for someone like myself to call myself a fan!

Presem… Presim, prisum… Huh, is “presumptuous” correct?!

Subaru: Yep, that’s it.

Esu: Was I right? Got it! Good, good, hip-hooray! I mean, that was very kind of you! This debt of gratitude will not be forgotten even if I am reborn seventeen times over!

Subaru: Seventeen times over, huh? What’s with that oddly specific number?

You’re a strange kid.

Esu: Huh, you think so? I find myself to be normal, though! Maybe I’ve become a little out of touch with the world after having been cooped up for a while?

If I do anything that feels off, do feel free to point anything out! I’ll correct it!

Subaru: Alright. Well to start, it’s looked down upon to cause a ruckus at gravesites.

Esu: You’re right~! My bad! I’ll quiet down! I’m a man who has often been told “You’re so cute when you keep your mouth shut, Esu-kun!” by his inconsiderate classmates!

Subaru: So your name’s Esu, huh?

Esu: Yes! I am Sagiri Esu! My name’s pretty tough to read, or excessively sparkly rather, so it’s okay if you don’t remember all of it![1]

You’re free to just call me something like “Ecchan” or “Sacchan”!

Subaru: Ecchan reminds me of Eichi-senpai. Sagiri—I feel like I might’ve heard “Sagiri” somewhere before…

Esu: Oh, so you recognize it? My father used to be real popular! He was even called a super idol at a point!

Subaru: Ah, that’s right! There was a super idol who showed up sometime between the times of Hokke~Papa—Hidaka Seiya-san and my dad, right?

His name was Sagiri. My dad said that he looked up to him, so I remember.

Esu: Ahaha~, although it was all downhill for him once the next super idol, Akehoshi-senpai’s father, made his appearance.

Subaru: Well, my dad did become the talk of the town for many things, both good and bad… Those from around that time aren’t talked about as much anymore, with Hokke~Papa being an exception.

It’s like it’s all been balled together as a dark past to be forgotten, thanks to all that’s happened.

So I dunno how things are now, but, umm you—Sacchan, what’s your father doing now?

He’s not active anymore… right? I feel I’d know about him if he were active.

Esu: Oh, my father died.

Subaru: …Is that so? Sorry, I didn’t know…

Esu: Nah, if you didn’t know, you didn’t know! He passed away three years ago, and by the time he’d already turned over a new leaf as just an ordinary man.

Just an ordinary man, just with a bit of a nice-looking face.

Could at least look ugly… Wouldn't have to be followed around by that pervert then…

Subaru: Pervert? Had your father been targeted by some weird stalker or something, like mine was…?

Esu: No, no, this pervert has nothing to do with my father’s death. Sorry if I’m being difficult to follow! My communication skills aren’t all too great, after all! Just terrible!

My father died in a plane accident. Just a common—well, it’s not common, but an ordinary accident with nothing to do with idols or anything like that.

I was involved in the accident too, and although I managed to survive, I’ve been in the hospital up until recently. So, I've been in the process of rehabilitation for about six months, as of now.

Subaru: Is that so… I probably wouldn’t have even known three years ago. In the period before I entered high school, I would shut myself away from any and all information.

All of the information that would drift my way… I wouldn’t wanna hear any of it.

Esu: I totally get you~. It feels like anything and everything is an attack on you when your heart is weak, doesn’t it?

Even though nobody in the world probably spares a single thought about you.

Ah, but you’re an idol, Akehoshi-senpai, so tons and tons of people pay attention to you, of course! I was really moved by the SS from two years back![2]

It was like—and sorry if this sounds disrespectful—but your father also passed away… I felt like I could relate with you in some ways.

Like, “Ahh, this person, he’s me.”

Subaru: … …

Esu: At the time, I understood the expression on your face, your voice, everything, as if they were my own—I empathized! I was no longer able to distinguish between you and I!

I was in the hospital, lying in bed watching your performance, and I cried so hard that even the nurses became seriously worried about me.

Esu: Hehehe… But you know, even though I was crying like an idiot just by watching…

You were smiling up until the very end and did your job perfectly as an idol, Senpai. So, I thought you were real amazing—

Esu: Ahh, I can’t find the right words! Hang in there, my vocabulary!

Subaru: It’s okay. I understand you.

Thank you. For watching my performance.

You cried in place of me, didn’t you? Maybe that’s why I didn’t have to show a shameful sight like that upon such an important stage.

So… I know it sounds weird, but thank you. Really.

Esu: Oh no no, I seriously didn’t do anything! I don’t know what to do being shown gratitude like this?!

Oh, shoot!? I hear Fuyume’s voice! He hates exercise and isn’t all that good at it either, but caught up to me through sheer determination…!

I-I’m so sorry, but I gotta go now! It’s over for me if I’m caught!

Subaru: It kinda feels like you’re in danger… Do you need me to hide you?

Esu: Ah, that’s very kind of you, but I’m alright! This is a problem I gotta resolve on my own…!

But if you’d like, do offer some incense at the grave over there, the one decorated with cutesy goods.

That one’s my father’s grave.

Subaru: Right. This cemetery is for those in the industry that need to be kept secret from the general public. Both your father and my dad rest here.

It was through some sort of fate I was able to meet you, and hear your words that made me happy, so… Yeah, I’ll be sure to offer some incense.

Esu: Thanks! I’m sure our fathers are happy too! It doesn’t seem like they were on good terms when they were alive, but everyone becomes a Buddha when they die, right?[3]

I’m sure all those concerns and karma have been thoroughly purified!

—Eek, his voice is getting closer! Maaan, I wanted to have a nice and quiet visit to his grave after all this time!

But, well, I also caused a ruckus for no reason, and disturbed Akehoshi-senpai’s visit to his grave! That makes it sort of a mutual karmic retribution, right!—kinda?

Subaru: It’s fine. My dad always liked it when things were lively.

I’m sure he’s standing beside your father, watching over with a smile on their faces—over us.

[ ☆ ]

story directory

A sparkly name (キラキラネーム) is a term that refers to a recent phenomenon of giving names that are over-extravagant and notably very difficult to read. Esu's name is written with the kanji 笑主, which is both very unrecognizable as a name (it uses the kanji for laugh/smile + the kanji for lord/master), the reading is also very unnatural. The phenomenon is similar to the one where people will name their babies stuff like "Mhackenzeigh" or "Lakynn". Since knowing that 笑主 is read as "Esu" doesn't come instinctively, it would be difficult to remember; hence Esu saying there's no need to remember it all.

Referring to the SS where Trickstar won, back in ! era. If you aren’t aware of what happens to Subaru and Trickstar during the event, I highly recommend reading SS - Friendship 14 until the end of the event story, else this entire scene won’t make as much sense.

Esu uses a lot of Buddhist terminology here. If you’re familiar with the idea of reaching enlightenment, once you reach enlightenment, you let go of all worldly possessions, realizations, attainments, and achievements. This is what is referred to when one becomes a Buddha.

[judesmoonbeauty]

Fairytale Keeper's Final Assessment SE:

Jude Jazza's POV Chapter 1 ཐིཋྀ

Fan translation only. Not 100% accurate. Please expect grammatical errors. Cybird owns everything. Feel free to re-blog, but please do NOT post my translations elsewhere. Translation notes are marked with *** Alternate translation is marked with/// Hour Glass Banners Credit: @/natimiles ཐིཋྀ

(The Crown forced a woman who just happened to witness an assassination into an unfair contract.)

(And that Bitch, her Majesty the Queen keeps ordering her to accompany us on missions.)

(And this woman herself, who is so stubborn that she will follow you no matter how many times she gets herself in trouble.)

(I too, tried to test her guts at some point.)

Everything about it is disgusting.

(So I'll end it right here and now.)

Victor: You will spend the day with her. Then sign here at the end of the day.

Victor: What happens if you don't agree?

Victor: At that point, we’ll say goodbye to Kate. Oh, and please keep all of this a secret from Kate.

(I wondered what the hell he was doing calling people out this early in the morning.)

(Fairytale Keeper Continuation Agreement. Ha….stupid.)

Why are you doing this now, don't force this kind of thing on people.

Even if I open my mouth I could be subjected to a number of criticisms though.

I thought to myself as I stared at this shitty consent form.

(Maybe this will put an end to our relationship with that woman.) 

Jude: I kind of know whatcha wanna do.

Jude: But the last condition is unacceptable.

Victor: You mean the part about keeping the existence of this consent form a secret from her?

Jude: I don't like sneaking around behind peoples backs without lettin’ ‘em know that they're involved.

Jude: Hey, Victor. I gave ya information and helped Crown once, right?

Jude: Ya haven't paid my information fee yet.

Victor: No way! I gave exactly what you asked for, because you're scary.

Jude: I'm still owed for the interest. But that's all right, we'll call it even.

Victor: Eh.

Jude: I’ll tell Kate everything. Then I’ll kick her out and that’ll be the end of it.

Victor: Hmm. I thought you'd say that since you're a hot-blooded person.

As I turn my back on Victor, who is grumbling, and start to walk away, a voice comes flying in.

Victor: Jude! Spend a day with Kate and assess her. You must comply with this.

(Ridiculous…..）

I headed to the common room and found Isla and Ellis frolicking in front of the arsenal of weapons that that freak was collecting.

Kate: Ellis, this pistol is shaped so that bullets can’t be inserted into it.

Ellis: It's not a real gun, it's a replica.

Ellis: It used by replacing this gun with the opponent's gun or pretending it is a real gun.

Kate: I see.….It looks like it can be used in many ways!

(What are you talking about?)

Kate: Oh, Jude!

Ellis: Oh, Jude. Welcome home.

Ellis: You were called by Her Majesty and Victor. What were you talking about?

As I tossed down the fairy tale keeper continuation agreement, Kate's eyes followed the text, and then her eyes widened.

Jude: To spend the day with and assess ya.

Kate: You’re the one to sign this consent form, Jude?

Kate: So, as long as you sign the consent form, I can continue, right Jude?

Jude: If ya look at the text, you’ll understand.

Ellis: Why Jude? I guess because he’s the most difficult.

Jude: I don't know. If ya have any complaints, tell that Queen's freak aide.

Kate: Do you want to continue as a Fairytale Keeper? Or quit here and leave Crown?

Ellis: What do you want, Kate?

Kate looks up and says in a clear voice.

Kate: I want to continue being a fairy tale keeper.

Kate: I think there is still a lot I can do with Crown.

(An immediate answer).

When she finished speaking, Kate turned her annoying eyes on me.

Kate: Jude, please sign the agreement for me to continue as a Fairytale Keeper!

Jude: If they had asked for my permission and I had said yes, then I wouldn’t have confronted ya in the first place.

Jude: I'm against your continuing as Fairytale Keeper, and I'm against your staying here.

Kate: I thought you’d say that Jude…..

Kate: But I'll never give up. I'll keep fighting until the end, until I get your signature.

Jude: Really? Do as ya please.

Jude: You’re leaving today anyway. Your playing with gifts of the underworld.***

Ellis: If you're happy to continue as a fairytale keeper, I'll help you.

Kate: Thank you, Ellis!

(Shit…..everyone is siding with Kate.)

Ellis: What would make you want to sign it Jude?

Jude: Think for yourself.

Kate: I think it's important that I'm not a distraction to you and that I'm useful to you Jude.

Ellis: Ah, then.

She took us out into the garden and suggested that we have a sparring match.

I guess she wants to prove that she won't be a hindrance even if she accompanies us on a mission, and that she can fight satisfactorily.

(Pointless…..)

I have no reason or time to look at something like this.

But going out with them is just a way to buy time until the end of this useless day called today.

Ellis: Isla, I’ll be your partner.

Kate: Yes, please don’t hesitate.

Kate: Jude, please watch properly.

Kate and Ellis begin to spar, as expected, it looked like a fixed match, like a cat playing with something.

Jude: What are ya showing me? Ellis, if you're going to go easy on her, don't.

Ellis: But…

Kate: It’s my fault for asking Ellis, who is so kind to me.

Kate: Jude, would you spar against me?

Jude: What, I'm just gonna letcha die, and that'll be the end of it?

Kate: Yep. 

Jude: Hmmm, let's do it then.

Facing Kate, we made eye contact.

Kate randomly threw some punches and tried to land some light kicks, but I dodged them.

Kate: I thought you’d come in with a kicking technique, Jude.

Jude: Eh, is that what you’re watching? But your back is open. 

I go behind Kate and tighten my arms around her. 

Kate: Ah…..***

Instantly, Kate bent down and slipped out of my arms.

(You did it…..)

(But you’re getting too carried away.)

I grabbed Kate’s arm and swept her legs, pinning her to the ground.

Kate: Ah…..***

I glared at Kate at a distance where the tips of our noses touched.

(Ha…….Really, not good.)

(Her eyes.)

[Next] [Master List]

***I'm 99.9% sure this second sentence is incorrect. I have no idea what he meant by this, and I spent forever researching this line. But I assume he meant since she's leaving, so is her playtime with the gifts from the underworld AKA the Crown members. It doesn't have a huge bearing on the story, so take it with a grain of salt.

***When they are sparring, Kate uses 'tsu' つ, (not to be confused with the little っ 'tsu', which is silent.). I changed to this to 'Ah', since I wasn't sure how to translate the noise she was making as Jude was grabbing her both times, and it would look weird with 'tsu' written.

[ellisgirl]

Harrison Gray — I Want to Know Every Inch of You Collection Event

Harrison and Body Measurement

I do not own any contents of Ikemen Villains. This story being uploaded in this blog belongs solely to CYBIRD. Please support them by downloading their games and buying their stories. Both English and Japanese are not my mother tongue languages, please keep in mind that there will be mistakes and added words for my own preferences. I translate for my personal entertainment and for my own practice only.

My first time translating harry’s 😭😭😭

Harrison: "Crown's body measurement......”

Kate: "Yes. It seems that it also serves as a medical checkup."

When Victor asked me to take everyone's body measurements, I called Harry first.

In addition to basic information such as height and weight, the record sheet handed out also contains questions tailored to each individual.

Harrison: “Is that sort of thing within the purview of a Fairytale Master's work?”

Kate: “Of course. Because your growth is an important part of our record.”

Harrison: "...No, I won't grow anymore."

Kate: “You never know what the future holds, you know? Above all, I want you all to stay healthy."

Harrison: “Hmm…..”

(...Harry doesn't seem too keen on it.)

(Come to think of it, you also avoided going along with Roger's research.)

(...You don’t like being probed?)

Kate: “I'll make it quick, just bear with me for a minute. Okay?”

As if trying to convince a child who doesn't like injections, Harry took off his jacket.

Harrison: “Just so you know, it's not that I don't like being probed.”

I blinked at Harry's addition, as if he had read my mind.

Harrison: “I just thought you seemed to take on everything."

Kate: "Did you worry about me?"

Harrison: "I don't know....... So, how are you going to find out?"

(It's usual that there is no answer…, but it was easy to understand now.)

My mouth relaxed at Harry's apparent concern for me.

Kate: “Starting with height, weight....., and chest and abdominal circumference."

Harrison: "Understood."

Using a measuring tape, Harry's body is measured as he stands in front of me.

(If you want to measure properly, you need to be in close contact with him...)

If I put the measuring tape on Harry's back, he'll be in a position where I am hugging him from the front.

Even though I know that his body is masculine and robust.

I was strangely conscious, so I applied the tape measure while moving my body away from him a little.

Harrison: “Wouldn't we have to stick together more to get an accurate measurement?”

Kate: "T-That's right..."

He closes the distance when pointed out, but I’m too nervous to look at Harry's body properly.

Harrison: “Don't be shy, why don't you do what you always do?”

Kate: “Always?”

I turn my head and Harry teasingly whispers in my ear.

Harrison: “You clung desperately to me naked when we were shagging and wouldn't leave me. Why are you so shy now?”

Kate: “E-Even if you give me examples of things like that...”

Harrison: “If you want me to recreate the scene, I'll do it.”

Harry pulls my hips closer, slides his knee between my legs, and pushes me up.

Kate: “Nn, it’s no good.”

Harrison: "What's wrong?"

Kate: "...If that happens, we won't be able to measure anything."

Even though I say that, the force with which I push back against Harry's chest is modest.

(......I know exactly what I need to do, I need to get on with measuring.)

(But if Harry comes on to me, I can't resist strongly enough ......)

Harrison: "Haha...your face is bright red. Now that I’ve seen your cute face, I'll be obedient and cooperate with the measurements then.”

Laughing teasingly, Harry took his hand away from mine.

I felt relieved and at the same time realised that my nervousness had eased.

(Maybe Harry was deliberately pressing me to get me used to it.)

I was also pleased to find Harry's teasing mixture of kindness.

In this way, the measurements managed to proceed—

Kate: “Okay, ….now the last item has been filled in. Thank you for your cooperation.”

Harrison: “.....By the way, are you going to do measurements on everyone from now on?”

Kate: "That's right. It seems that everyone is here today, so I'm going to do it all at once."

Harrison: “Hmmm...... Can I do that?”

…

Kate: "Thank you for your help. It was very helpful!"

Harry helped everyone in the Crown with their physical measurements because he had time.

He took the measurements with a tape measure, I recorded them. We divided the roles and the measurements were completed in no time.

(Hehe... Harry is mean, but kind and reliable.)

As I'm falling back in love with him, Harry looks at me with probing eyes.

Harrison: “So, whose body was the best?”

Kate: “Eh..... What do you mean?”

Harrison: “You've examined all of their bodies, haven't you? I'm asking you whose body you found most attractive.”

Harrison: “I'm sure you have your favorite body shape and favorite parts, don’t you?”

Kate: “Even if you say so...”

(I only thought it was good that everyone seemed to be healthy without any major injuries.…)

(......There was only one person I couldn't consciously measure well.)

Kate: “……Harry.”

Harrison: “Hm?”

Kate: “The only thing that made me nervous was your body.”

Harrison: “……..” 0_0

Kate: "Do you believe it's true?"

The heart is invisible, so even if you really mean what you say, sometimes you may not be believed.

But his ability to see through the lies is also his ability to believe. I can tell him how I feel without deception.

Harrison: *blushing* "......I understand. Your words are not a lie."

Harrison: “I never imagined before I met you that there would ever come a time when I would use this ability for love.”

I'm the one who said the embarrassing line, but I feel that Harry, who exposed my heart, is more embarrassed.

Kate: “Hehe. I see you've found a fun use for it.”

Harrison: “......Come to think of it, I've got a record sheet for you too.”

Maybe he was embarrassed, Harry suddenly changed the topic.

Kate: “Yes. I'm also going to measure it later and fill it in.”

Harrison: “Heh...... Who do you let touch your body and measure every inch of it?”

At first, I thought I should ask someone who was available for my body measurement.

(However, after taking everyone's measurements, I realised that even if it's just a physical measurement, touching me is—)

Kate: “—Harry is good.”

After answering, I realised the mistake of my statement.

Kate: “....If it's not Harry, I don't want it.”

After rephrasing it, Harry smiles with a satisfied smile.

Harrison: “Fine. If it has to be me, I'll do as you ask.”

Harrison: “......But before that, I'll get paid for the labour.”

—After a kiss that is too sweet to be called compensation.

Every inch of my body had been thoroughly examined by Harry's hands.

Fin.

Masterlist

[sergeifyodorov]

hmm i was scrolling through Twitter earlier and as the designated leafs blog in my mind, what are your thoughts on fraser minten? like he’s so interesting to me because in the narrative i’ve created of him he was tavares’ fifth child but then was our balanced by knies being better, but then wjc happened and he still couldn’t crack it. now he’s on the blades (one of the best whl teams i think??) very interesting

NARRATIVELY he's definitely The Tavares Child -- okayyyy so. Sew. this New Generation of leafs (imho starting at Knies and including Easton Cowan as well as minten) kind of... each parallel a member of the Core: Knies is Auston's child (Arizona boy, big strong forward), Cowan is Mitch's child (London Knight, small winger with endless energy) and Minten is JT's child (Captain anywhere he goes, known for maturity and intelligence)... william child + morgan child ->

anyHWAY the real life scouting report under the cut (not too long i don't think)

Minten's a high second-rounder, which is the type of player that's generally designated as an "upper maybe" NHLer -- by which I mean odds-on he'll get NHL games (as Mints has) but it's less likely he'll become a serious full-time player (although many a second-rounder can and does do so!) The most interesting thing about his draft position was that the Leafs, under Kyle Dubas, traded DOWN to get him -- we had a low first-rounder, then traded it to Chicago to get rid of the Mrazek contract and got the pick that would become Mints in return. Many a source says that Kyle wanted Mints anyway and would have taken him with the first-round pick.

The general consensus is that Mints tops out as a middle-six centre, a 3C on a good team or a 2C on a worse one (or a 1C on the Boston Bruins.) His ceiling is probably about 40 or 50 points, maybe more depending on how much power-play usage he gets.

However, it's also noted (and was pretty obvious to me, even watching him at the WJC -- which I'll get to in a second!) that his real value is not and will likely never be in point production. He's a natural centre, good-to-great at faceoffs (a skill that he learned in part from JT!!) and very good defensively. Because he's still a kid, plays a bit physically and tends to be involved in the play at both ends, he probably takes a few too many undisciplined stick infractions, but these things of course can be straightened out with time and wisdom. Also, he's a touch of a personality hire: he was the youngest A on the all-timer Kamloops Blazers last year and was pretty much immediately named C after the Leafs sent him home this year; he was named captain of the CANADIAN WORLD JUNIORS team with zero other experience playing for Canada on the national level. He plays the piano! He's smart, polite, doesn't cause a fuss, wise beyond his years. Takes a guy far.

Anyway, the WJC: just an absolute hackjob by the coach and one of those years that really demonstrates that Hockey Canada still thinks it can get ahead by being Canada (the ol' throw bodies at the wall shtick) and not, like, because of its actual quality of development. I think bowing out when they did was a bit unlucky, but they absolutely were NOT primed to win it all -- especially because the coach basically seemed to have no concept of... line construction? or anything of the sort? Like he just tossed players together from a hat once (1) and decided they were just going to play out the tourney like that -- no real concept of "x is the playmaker, y is the shooter, z is the forechecker" or "these three are the transition line that take d-zone draws and use their speed to create rush chances/o-zone draws" or even something so simple as "this defensively-minded, slower centre is perhaps not the best match for the winger notorious for being opportunistic and shooty." Also, not to put too fine a point on it but a player can have a bad WJC and it doesn't mean anything, or a good WJC and it also doesn't mean anything -- Jesse Puljujarvi rose his draft stock by a good chunk in 2016 by having a FANTASTIC WJC, and he's currently on an AHL tryout. It's a small sample size, mostly played with teammates they barely know and against competition about a half-step up from what they're used to. Weird statlines happen.

Back to MINTS because we're still talking about him. Yess currently he's on the Blades -- traded from the Blazers because the Blazers are garbage and they want to Do Right By The Player and put him on a competitive team (done for two reasons: one, because it can be demoralizing to be the best player on a bad team, and two, because being on a good team in juniors often means you get actually good-for-your-development linemates and usage). He was generally not expected to make the Leafs at ALL this season (I mean, 20-year-old second-rounder, right?) and cracking the roster out of camp, even though he only got three games and has a rather blank statline is SUPER impressive. I'm pretty sure this is his last year of CHL eligibility, after which he'll probably either get put on the Marlies for a year to keep cooking or he'll make the Leafs again and stick around. Either way, he's slid twice I think so we burn a year of his ELC.

and my opinion of the boy? I love him. Let's go baby leafs baby leafs forevar

[callsignseagull]

friends ✪ jake ‘hangman’ seresin

Jake ‘Hangman’ Seresin x fem!reader

Summary: you’re just friends. but why does he keep sabotaging your dates with other guys?

Words: 3.5k

Warnings: a little bit of angst?, idiots in love, rooster meddling

A/N: heyooo, this is my first time posting a fic on this blog and for this fandom (and the first thing I’ve written in months) so please be kind! I hope you like it :)

The Hard Deck is your favorite place to hang out. You used to just go every so often, but ever since your unlikely friendship with Jake ‘Hangman’ Seresin you’ve found yourself coming more and more.

Jake.

He’s your best friend. You met him during his first time at TopGun when he hit on you at the Hard Deck. You turned him down though. As much as you’ve grown to love his self assured and arrogant attitude, you were not a fan when you first met him.

And then somehow you became friends.

Now he’s back for some top secret mission and you can’t wait to see him again. You don’t get to hang out with him in person often because he’s stationed in Lemoore.

“There’s my best girl!” You know he’s smirking even before you turn around to look at him. You don’t even have time to jump down from the barstool before his arms wrap around you. Your legs are either side of his hips as he pulls you against his body. “I missed you.” A shiver runs down your spine, both from his words and your position, but you try not to show how much it’s affecting you. How much he’s affecting you.

Because you’re in love with him.

You don’t know how it happened but at some point you fell for him and his charme. But Jake doesn’t do feelings or serious relationships, he’s a love ‘em and leave ‘em kinda guy. You’ve known that from the start. Hell, that’s the reason you turned him down in the first place. But you’re glad you did, because you’re certain you wouldn’t be friends had you spend the night with him.

“I missed you, too.” You whisper against his neck. “When does your mission thing start?” You ask him after he pulled away, trying to ignore the feeling of his hands on your thighs.

“My mission thing?” He laughs and you roll your eyes.

“You know I have no idea how things work at your job.” You shove his shoulder. “So?”

“Training starts tomorrow.” He smiles. “But I’ll make sure to spend every free moment with you. It’s been so long since we lived in the same place.”

“Since the last time you were at Top Gun.” You smile at each other for a few moments, thinking back to the start of your friendship.

“C’mon, let me get you a drink.” He squeezes your thighs gently, then lets go.

God, you hadn’t been ready for the feelings that were crashing down on you now that he was here. It was easy to keep them in check when you were merely facetiming. But having him right in front of you? His scent invading your space while he looks at you like that? Torture.

***

The first few days having Jake around fly by.  Everyday you can’t wait for your workday to be over so you can hang out with him. You asked him once if he’d rather hang out with his pilot friends, but Jake just scoffed and told you you’re much better company.

While having Jake around is fun and you love spending time with him, you notice that the more time you spend with him the more you fall for him. Yes, you’ve been in love with him for a while but you can deal with that when he’s not around. Spending all of your free time with him shows you what it would be like to be with him, granted you’re not doing any coupley things but just being with him is enough.

In order to not get too swept up in your feelings for Jake you decide to get back into online dating. It hasn’t been successful in the past and most of the guys you talked to turned out to be massive jerks, but you don’t really have another option… Or maybe you’ll go to the Hard Deck and try to talk to some guys. Hmm.

You check your watch, there's still a few hours left until Jake finishes his training for the day, so why not use that time?

***

When Jake enters the Hard Deck with the rest of his squad his eyes immediately find you sitting at the bar chatting to some guy. There’s a weird feeling in his chest and before he can think about it he’s stalking over to you, his hands casually in the pockets of his uniform even though he doesn’t really feel that casual. He watches as that guy tells you some story that must surely be boring as fuck, Jake assumes. He ignores the fact that you don’t look bored at all.

Jake puts on his signature smirk before he steps behind you, resting one hand on the bar next to you, his chest pressing against your back.

“Hi.” He whispers in your ear, almost making you jump. You didn’t even notice him walking up to you. Jake tries not to ponder that too much.

“What’s up, Hangman?” You tilt your head to look at him, and Jake's smirk turns into a proper smile.

“Just wanted to see what you’re up to.”

You watch as the corners of his eyes crinkle and the expression in his eyes tells you he’s up to something.

“I’m talking to Marc.” You motion to the guy in front of you who’s been watching the exchange with curiosity. “Marc, this is Jake, my best friend.”

Marc nods at Jake as a form of greeting but Jake ignores him, his eyes still fixed on you.

“So I was wondering if you have plans tomorrow. There’s this new Mexican place I wanted to take you to.”

Your eyes flit between Jake and Marc, you finally start to realize what Jake is doing. And you can already see Marc looking kind of annoyed. It’s not like you’re currently on a date with him. You just met him while keeping Penny company at the bar. Your plan of finding a distraction from Jake actually worked, well until Jake showed up.

Before you can give Jake an answer, which would have been something like: ‘Sure, but please leave now’ Marc gets up from his barstool.

“I’ll see you around.” He gives you a small smile before going back to his friends. You can just look after him with your jaw slightly hanging open.

“Well, he didn’t have much staying power.” Jake shrugs his shoulders and sits down where Marc just sat before leaning closer to you. “Do you think he’s also like that in bed? Good riddance then.” He winks and you have to roll your eyes.

***

You’re on a date with a guy you met on a dating app when you get a text from Jake. You usually wouldn’t be on your phone during a first date but when he goes to the restroom you use the time to check your phone.

H_ngm_n: pineapple

Your pulse increases immediately. Pineapple was your code word for emergencies. Your mind starts reeling with possible scenarios of what could have happened. The only thing that puts you at ease is the fact that he could text you himself. At least he’s not unconscious in the hospital. But what if something happened to one of the others? “Hey, you okay?” You feel your date’s hand on your shoulder, pulling you out of your increasingly terrible thoughts.

“I’m sorry, I have to go. It’s an emergency.” You pull a face at the sound of your words. It sounds like a lame excuse. “I promise I’m not just saying that.” You pull out your wallet and leave enough money on the table that it should cover for your meal and drinks. “I’ll text you, okay?”

You faintly hear his okay while you’re already on your way out the door.

When you pull into Jake’s driveway your palms are sweaty. You have no idea what you’re about to have to deal with now.

“Jake?”

“Living room!”

When you enter his living room you’re greeted with the sight of him on the sofa, in nothing but gray sweatpants. You gulp, it should be illegal to look like that.

It takes you a moment to notice the ice pack on his foot.

“What happened?” In your head you’re already thinking about a broken foot or a torn tendon.

“I stubbed my toe.”

You halt your movements and stare at him for several seconds just blinking. “You stubbed your toe?”

“Yeah.”

“You used pineapple because you stubbed your toe?”

He has the decency to blush at your accusing tone. “I didn’t wanna be alone,” he pouts, patting the spot next to him on the couch. “C’mere.”

“You’re a big baby, Jake ‘Hangman’ Seresin.”

“But I’m your big baby.” He smirks and you roll your eyes, shoving him playfully.

“I was so worried! I thought someone was seriously hurt!” You pushed against his shoulder again.

“I’m sorry, sweetheart.” His gaze turns soft and he puts his arm around you, pulling you close and placing a kiss on your temple. “How was your date?”

You turn to look at him, “You knew about that, huh?”

“Phoenix told me.” He shrugs his shoulders.

“Well, it was okay until I got an emergency text from my best friend because he stubbed his toe.” You give him a look. You can see that he’s trying not to laugh. He’s enjoying this. “Don’t you dare abuse the power of the pineapple ever again!” You point your finger at him.

“I promise.”

***

This is gonna be the death of you.

Sitting next to Penny in a beach chair you can hope that you’re not actively salivating while staring at a bunch of half naked, thoroughly fit people playing dogfight football. When Penny invited you, you had no idea what was in store for you.

You knew what Jake looked like without a shirt, had seen him hundreds of times, but seeing him in action? That’s a different story.

Was it possible that his muscles had muscles? Because damn.

While you were shamelessly ogling Jake you didn’t notice Rooster coming up to you. During the past couple of weeks you got to know Jake's team a little bit, with them always hanging out at the Hard Deck, too, it was inevitable. And it was reassuring to know that the people Jake worked with were good people. At the end of the day his life could depend on them.

“Hi, there Y/N.” Rooster says, causing you to finally tear your eyes away from Jake.

“Hi, Rooster,” You look up at him with a smile. “What’s up?”

He looks back at his squad that was still playing for a moment, then turns back to you. “I was wondering if you’d like to go out some time.”

You almost choked on your own saliva. What?

He was good looking, no doubt, just as fit as Jake, but seeing him just didn’t evoke the same feelings as seeing Jake. And yes, you were trying to get over Jake but going out with one of his teammates? That doesn’t sound like a good idea.

“Rooster!” At the sound of Jake’s voice, Rooster has to bite back a laugh, before he puts on an innocent face. What’s going on?

“Got a problem, bagman?”

“Why don’t you back up a little?” Jake’s got his hands on his hips as he walks over, only stopping a few inches in front of Rooster. And now you’re getting angry. No, you don’t really wanna go out with Rooster, but it’s not Jake’s place to step in and get all overprotective of you.

“Why should I?” Rooster crosses his arms and raises an eyebrow.

While Jake opens and closes his mouth without saying anything you exchange a look with a very amused Penny before getting up from your beach chair.

“Okay, time to calm down, Jake.” You place your hands on his chest and gently push him a few steps back. His skin is warm under your palms, his muscles strong and you try not to let it get to your head. “I don’t need you to protect me, okay?”

Jake looks to the side almost sheepishly. “But Rooster-”

“You trust him with your life, don’t you?”

He moves his head from side to side as if he’s not sure. He told you about the tension between the two, but you know when it comes down to it he knows he can count on Rooster.

“Jake?”

“Yeah. Yeah, I do.” He looks back at you and if you didn’t know better you’d say he looks hurt at the prospect of you going out with Rooster. But that can’t be. He doesn’t have feelings like that for you.

“So what would be so bad about me going on a date with him?” You ask, your hands are starting to shake so you finally pull them off of Jake’s chest. Curling them into fists to try and stop the shaking you cross your arms in front of your chest.

Jake’s mouth turns into a straight line before he shakes his head “Nothing I guess.”

See, he doesn’t have any feelings for me.

“Okay.” You nod, and even though you were going to decline Rooster’s offer, you turn around to him and say, “I’d love to.”

***

Rooster picked you up in his Bronco and took you to a nice restaurant by the beach. You like spending time with him, but the feelings are just not there, and you know they won’t ever be there. Because he’s not Jake. Even without actively intervening your best friend finds a way to sabotage your date.

“I’m sorry Rooster, you’re a great guy but-”

“But you’ve got feelings for someone else.” He gives you a knowing smile.

“Is it that obvious?” You feel your cheeks heat up.

“Honestly? Yeah.” Rooster laughs. “There’s only one idiot who hasn’t noticed yet.” Another knowing smile.

You huff out a laugh. “Maybe he did and he doesn’t wanna bring it up to save me the embarrassment.” You stir your drink with the straw, watching the ice cubes bump against each other.

“Certainly not.” Rooster rests his forearms on the table and leans in closer to you. “He’s just being an idiot. I wouldn’t be surprised if he hasn’t even realized he feels the same.” At that your eyes shoot up to meet Roosters and you shake your head. “That’s not true.”

“Of course it is.” He insists. “Why do you think I asked you out?”

You tilt your head in confusion.

“I’m sorry, you’re beautiful and a charming person, but the reason I asked you out was to finally get Hangman to pull his head out of his ass and realize that he’s in love with you.”

You can only stare at him with your mouth agape.

Rooster raises his hands, “It’s the truth. I’m honestly surprised he hasn’t come to throw you over his shoulder yet.”

You’re surprised that Jake hasn’t tried to intervene yet either. But maybe he’s busy. Or he doesn’t care and the other times were just flukes. Maybe all of his sabotaging wasn’t really that but it was just coincidence. You try not to let Rooster’s words get to your head. There’s no way Jake feels the same about you.

Just then your phone vibrates in your pocket.

H_ngm_n: Can you come over? It’s important.

“That him?”

“Yeah.” You sigh. “At least he didn’t use pineapple this time.” Rooster looks at you confused and you wave your hand. “Doesn’t matter. He can wait.”

There’s a moment of silence, then Rooster says, “C’mon, go to him.”

“Are you sure?”

“Of course. We can continue this another time if you want. As friends.” He smiles warmly and you think that whoever ends up with Rooster is a lucky person.

“Thank you.” You grab your bag and are about to pull out your wallet but he waves you off.

“I’ve got it. Now go.”

“Thank you.” You say again, give him a kiss on the cheek and then you leave.

Twenty minutes later you’re at Jake’s front door. He said it’s important but you have a feeling it was just another ploy to get you away from your date. You let yourself in and immediately hear rustling in the kitchen.

When you turn the corner you see Jake rummaging through his cupboard. He’s wearing a white t-shirt and those damn gray sweatpants again.

“What’s so important?” You ask as you lean against the doorframe.

“Should we order chinese or pizza?” He asks and turns around to look at you.

“Are you serious?” You cross your arms, the anger starting to bubble up. You were giving him the benefit of the doubt but he’s being ridiculous. “That’s why you called me away from my date with Rooster?” No point telling him it wasn’t really a date and you decided to just be friends. “You couldn’t have just asked this in a text?”

“Uh…” Jake scratches the back of his neck. He seems surprised that you’re angry. And that makes you even angrier.

“Why, Jake? Why do you keep sabotaging every fucking date I go on? Or hell, even when I’m just talking to a guy?” “I guess I’m just trying to protect you. Those idiots aren’t good enough for you.” He shrugs his shoulders and it takes everything in you not to scream.

“Well, who is good enough for me then, huh? Because at this rate I’m thinking you’d rather have me end up alone. But newsflash, Hangman, I wanna find my person. I wanna settle down, get married, start a family. And you’re jeopardizing that!” You feel tears brim your eyes because you’re angry and frustrated and so in love with your best friend that it hurts. It hurts to tell him all this knowing it’ll never be with him.

“Y/N…” Jake looks at you for a few seconds, then steps forward, closing the distance between you. He places his hands either side of your face and then you feel his lips on yours. For a moment you’re paralyzed. Is this really happening right now?

Your insides are fluttering as you reciprocate the kiss, your hands moving to rest on his chest. He’s soft and gentle, nothing like you’d expected him to kiss.

When you pull away he rests his forehead against yours. He’s about to lean in again but you push him away a little so you can look at him.

“Jake.” You whisper. “What are you doing?”

“I’m kissing you.” The corner of his mouth kicks up into a small smile.

“Why?”

“Because I want to.”

“Why?”

You watch his cheeks turn a soft shade of pink as he smiles, “Because I’m in love with you.”

The world seems to stop turning.

“What?”

He lets out a sigh, “I’ve been an idiot. I sabotaged all your dates because I couldn’t stand the thought of you being with someone else. I thought it was just because I was afraid of losing my best friend.” He shrugs his shoulders. “But in reality it’s because I’m in love with you. All those things you want for your future? I want them, too. And I want them with you. I’m sorry it took me so long to realize.”

You can only stare at him. Surely, you’re dreaming. This can’t really be happening right now. You’re going to wake up any second and everything will be back to normal.

“Y/N? Say something.”

But you’re in a bit of a shock, unable to wrap your head around your best friend confessing his love to you, so you just keep staring at him. “Shit. You don’t actually feel the same? I ruined everything, didn’t I? I’m sorry I just thought… Rooster said- I shouldn’t have believed that asshole, I-”

Finally you snap out of it, you’ve never seen Jake like this. He’s always confident, self assured. But now he’s a rambling mess and it’s all because of you? Because he’s in love with you? You’re still not a hundred percent sure that this is real, but there’s only one way to go about this. While he’s still rambling you grab his face and pull him into another kiss. This time he’s the one frozen in shock for a few seconds, but then his arms wrap around your waist and pull you flush against him. You run your hands through his hair, trying to memorize the feeling of his lips on yours, the taste of him, the way his body feels against yours.

“I love you, too.” You finally whisper against his lips and feel him smile.

“Yeah?” He places another soft kiss on your lips. “Will you let me take you out on a date?”

“Will this date include any weird emergencies on your part?” You raise an eyebrow and Jake laughs.

“No. I promise. No emergencies. Just you and me.”

“I like the sound of that.”

____________

A/N: thank you for reading!! I’d love to hear your thoughts! reblogs are always greatly appreciated! <3 

[aeithalian]

……you MUST know I want your director’s cut thoughts on a shard or two lol xoxo MJ/kiwiana-writes (my kingdom for asks from sideblogs)

OOOOH hehe hello MJ i keep seeing you pop up reccing a shard or two and just know that every time i see it, i send up a little prayer that your pillows are cold on both sides.

ANYWAYS (most of my followers on this blog aren't RWRB fans but who cares) a shard or two is definitely a weird fever dream of a fic. I read the entire book in like 24 hours (this was just before the movie came out, so less than a year ago) and I, having a strange interest in politics, was like 'hmm, you know what? not enough politics'. So now we have a shard or two. I've always had a interest in politics and I always felt weird about being that person who has a strange in-depth knowledge about the US government, but I think writing the fic helped me think about politics in less of a pessimistic way, like 'here's what I would want to see in modern-day politics'. It also kind of raises the philosophical question of how good people function in a corrupt system without being corrupted themselves, and Alex is such an interesting character to play with on that front because I view him as so idealistic that he refuses to be corrupted purely out of spite and stubbornness.

So, that's how it got started, I think. I told myself I wasn't going to start another WIP while I have one going for a different fandom, but here we are. I originally intended for it to be way shorter than it was (here I was thinking last October that 20k was an insane length for chapter 1, and then chapter 3 ended up being 100k all put together), but it's been such a fun passion project and a real stress-reliever for some reason, and a great way to develop my writing. Somebody in the comments asked me if I write professionally (I do not, and I likely never will, but I appreciate the sentiment).

As for director's commentary, I'm just spitballing here but I have so much fun stuff to share so here ya go.

I know there's this whole debate in the fandom about whether or not Alex goes into politics post-canon, like either go into local politics or start his own firm or whatever, and I generally don't see a lot of people saying that he would go into upper-level politics like he does in the fic. Very rarely do I see any post-canon fics that delve into what Alex's future career might look like if he ran for any office, so I kind of just did it myself, as one does. I do remember seeing CMQ say on their Instagram that Alex wouldn't run for president, but he might run for governor of Texas, but I kind of pulled a Harry Potter fandom and ignored the author (sorry not sorry), but I did make a reference to it early on in chapter 3 for anybody who's looking for any easter eggs). Regardless, it's very fun writing a Gen Z politician who gives no fucks (Alex is Gen Z, I'm taking no critiques on this). I'm so excited for people my age to start running for office. We're going to kill it, I feel it in my bones (you won't catch me up there, but maybe in some health policy behind-the-scenes work, who knows).

The names for the characters were a ton of fun to come up with, and I tweaked them all the time, but here are some tidbits behind some of them:

Edward McKinney's (opposed the amendment in chapter 2 and was Alex's opponent for the Democratic nomination in chapter 3) last name is a play on William McKinley (the 25th US president) to kind of bring this mindset to the table that McKinney is exactly who your stereotypical politician is who would run for president.

Pinkley's name is also a reference to Charles Pinckney, who ran for president in 1804 and 1808 as a Federalist. For no particular reason. I was just having fun with it.

Treacher's name actually comes from the word 'treacherous' because I originally intended for him to be way more of a villain than he ended up being, because I thought it would be interesting to have a political opponent who isn't necessarily an enemy.

Aksel Wolter's (the guy who overthrew my man Onderburg for the Baltonian presidency) name was originally going to be Signe Wolter, but then I saw a cool TikTok that compared some enemies throughout history and saw how similar their names were (George Washington & King George, Jesus & Judas, Obama & Osama, etc.) so I thought it would be cool to have an Alex and an Axel, but the spelling was too similar so that's how we ended up with Aksel because that's also a way it's spelled in northern Europe.

Erik Onderburg's (you know who he is, RIP 😈) original name was Henrik, and that got all the way into the published version of chapter 2 (he's mentioned towards the end), and then when I was writing the first scene of chapter 3 and realized that Henrik and Henry were way too similar, I had to change it.

Ellie (full name Elena) is named after Ellen, with a bit of a Hispanic twist. I think Alex and Henry's deal was if they had a girl, they'd name her after Ellen, and if they had a boy, they'd name him after Arthur. I like to think the middle name would have been Orion either way.

Hunter Weaver (the in-universe replacement of Anderson Cooper) has nothing to do with WASPY Hunter. That was a total coincidence and completely unintentional. But, hey, if you want to believe they're the same person, go for it.

All the research in there is legit! Wikipedia has been a fucking godsend for election results and facts about government structures outside of the US, but it kind of sucks trying to relay stuff into two decades in the future. You never know what kinds of issues are going to be important in 20 years, so I actually kind of avoided that problem by just relating it to some of our current issues today: queer rights, specifically in trans communities, election fraud, 3rd party candidates, human rights issues (ikyk) and so on. And the makeup of NATO, the UN, G20, etc. haven't changed because I can't see into the future.

I also had to do a surprising amount of math? Trying to figure out dates and stuff was way more difficult than I anticipated, especially for election results and percentages, but I realized I really don't need to pull out my TI-84 calculator for a fucking fanfic, but I'm also terrified of the prospect that somebody will correct me on any of my math or research so the calculator stays. It makes for some funny moments, though, like when I realized that if Alex actually ran in the 2040, he would really have Teddy Roosevelt beat for the post of 'youngest president' by, no joke, 3 weeks. So that's kind of fun (and how I firmly decided to have that be the timeline of things).

I write most of the speeches the characters give myself, but I use chat gpt to get me started sometimes (the product is always pretty bland, so it's really just a reference for structure), but I use real-life speeches for reference too. For example (and a bit of a sneak peek), in chapter 4, Alex is giving a speech to the UN General Assembly, and I lifted a couple phrases directly from one of Obama's speeches.

Writing this fic on google docs was a terrible decision. When i was writing chapter 3, the entire word count was well over 160k and the software was getting so laggy every time I needed to control f something for reference. So chapter 4 and beyond is currently being written in a new google doc. Speaking of which, having to switch all my formatting over onto ao3 with chapters this long is a pain in the ass. 0/10 do not recommend having to go through each chapter and fix the formatting every time just because I wanted to have fun little article inserts.

I was going to make it smutty and then i chickened out. i deeply apologize for my cowardice (i've never done smut before).

I guess if you want a couple sneak peeks for chapter 4, I can do that too 😜

If this next chapter had a motto, it would be "every president has their tragedy". Yes, that should probably scare you. (honestly, I'm a little nervous to write it too, just because I know it's pretty dark but hey, if Disney can show Mulan killing 2,000 Huns in an animated children's movie, then I can tag this as mature and not be worried about traumatizing people, okay?)

If it had a theme song, it might be 'Fourth of July' by Sufjan Stevens or 'Abstract (Psychopomp)' by Hozier. (Don't be scared, you'll be fine, because if the chapter after that had a theme song, it would be 'Dog Days are Over' by Florence and the Machine)

So, all the chapters are titled with 5 stages of career development (completely arbitrary, I worked off Indeed's for a while and then I said 'fuck it'). Stage 1 was Establishment, stage 2 was Maintenance, stage 3 (spanning ch. 3 and 4 on ao3) was Advancement. So stage 4 (ch. 5 on ao3) will be Obstruction, so take that how you will. But stage 5 (ch. 6 on ao3) will be Resolution, so that should make you feel better. They're sister chapters, so although the conflict itself is resolved in chapter 4, the lasting changes and long-term effects of that conflict will be mostly featured in chapter 5 (which, honestly, is the one I'm most excited to write because I feel like it's that moment when Alex really grows into himself).

And a little fun knowledge just for you: there's actually going to be a stage 6 (ch. 7, on ao3). I was going to surprise readers by adding on a chapter after I publish stage 5 with a 'psych! you thought this was over, suckers'. Stage 6 is titled 'Reflection', so I'm planning for it to be about how Alex leaves office dealing with the idea of his own legacy and accomplishments (but as I teased in Stage 3, he won't actually be 'done').

I think that's all I've got in me. Chapter 4 is in the works, but it's taking way longer than I'd like (I've only just started part 1 😬) since I started a new job that's kind of sucking the life out of me. I'm very excited to share it, though! I'll be sad when it's over (maybe I'll do a missing moments oneshot series after, who knows).

director's cut ask game

[reflections-in-a-critical-eye]

I love to see my biases get the BB 1s, but when one starts making that their goal, hmm that kind of disconnects me from them as an artist.

I won't say more. I just wish artists I stan placed more focus on the art. Let charts happen naturally.

You're blog isn't like the blind fandom, so I am saying this here.

It's not hard to see through things. Chapter 2 has been interesting so far. I am not making any opinions based of things that are happening, but if it becomes a pattern with the artist, well... that's a problem.

Anon, we both know who were're talking about, lol. I'm gonna use the names, for the sake of making it easier for me to write a response.

A few weeks ago, I was watching this documentary about Wham. Some light entertainment for me initially, but it did offer me the chance for a fresh perspective. I don't exactly remember the details, but they've reached a point in which George Michael wanted to have 4 songs to reach number 1 on some chart, the fourth being Last Christmas. He was a bit obsessed with this and he also wanted to be a bigger artist. In later archival interviews, Michael actually mentions it was his ego as an artist because he knew he could. And he did, he outgrew the boyish band and the situation was almost ideal because Andrew, his bandmate, also knew that. It also meant getting away from their carefully constructed image, the object of desire for teenagers and women everywhere. For George, it was also about stepping away from performing a specific type of heteronormativity that can be found in boy bands. It never crossed my mind while watching it that his ego is too big, or why is he so obsessed with the charts. Maybe because it was all in the past and I've seen what the future would hold for him. Or that when I heard him talk about what he wants to achieve and his inner struggle, there was sincerity there and also that drive that only someone really young can have when they believe they can do anything.

I've read Jungkook's Weverse interview and listened to what he had to say during the Seven promotions. And while there may be some comparisons to be made to how George Michael came across when talking about his musical career, there were also some differences.

I'm glad to see Jungkook being more confident. I remember some of the things he used to say in the past, about his self worth, a lack of confidence and meaning outside the group. That wasn't healthy. And to hear him now, especially on Suchwita, it's a 180° change. But in his case, there's a very fine line between being confident and becoming cocky. And that's not a good look. It's almost like he's trying to project an image of a new Jungkook but one that is still in the works and not all parts fit perfectly together. He's going through a transformation ever since the hiatus, which I expected. It was about having to adapt to a different pace, life after 10 years of being part of a group. Jungkook was always trying to find his identity and this single is only one step in that journey.

But that doesn't mean that I as a fan and as a person, have to like it. If it doesn't match with what I'm looking for in the artists that I'm interested in, then so be it. I will talk about it, but I'll also not follow that person's musical career anymore. If I don't like the artistic direction and I don't like this overconfident, slighly exaggerated bravado, then that's it.

It's also impossible to not make a comparison to Jimin. Not for some dick measuring contest (it's what pjms and jjks are doing), but because there is room and justification for it. Both are from the same kpop group, both have embarked on a solo career and both chose a more mainstream pop music, as opposed to their older bandmates. And both got that BB 1. And what we can compare is song quality, artist reaction and how the company's response came across into fan spaces.

In terms of the songs, I could write entire essays because at the end of the day, it wouldn't matter. It's all subjective. There is no rule that says a number one song should be about some personal experience, or the singer should have writing credits on it. And I also can't take away my subjectivity. I will chose Like Crazy over a song that not only sounds like a Bieber tune from years ago, but also has lyrics as if they were written by the boys from Larry Clark's Kids.

As to the reaction, Jimin did exactly what I expected him to do. He was humble, grateful and emotional and we saw that when he turned on the livestream. It's what makes him who he is and how he always behaves. As opposed to that, Jungkook wanted to be appear cool. And for what? Especially when later he said how excited he actually was but he refrained from expressing that. Where's the authenticity that he seeks so much through his livestreams? Because he released a song about sex for which he never officially performed live the explicit version, that means that the attitude should match that? I know the next day he was live and he was really nice. But that entire event is tainted in my mind with this almost expectation and confidence that he'll get that no. 1 and after he got the western validation, they decided to remember there's fans at home too and went to Inkigayo.

Which leads me to the last point that shows the obvious bias and preference that cannot simply be denied when it comes to BH. It's even more obvious because the entire BTS brand was that there are no favorites, which is not the same strategy as with other companies and groups. And now, all of a sudden, there is. It's great that BH celebrates an artist's success and they can immediately put on a show. But it doesn't justify how the first one to have the achievement was ignored. I have to admit, I was happy when Jimin got his no. 1 because I thought it only meant more promotions, more Jimin, more of everything. Just to be left utterly confused.

I've put that all in the past and I really try not to get too emotionally involved because as an individual, it has no bearing on my personal life and it doesn't have that many negative effects on my fan engagement.

I side eye Jungkook for how he presents himself in official promotions, but then he goes live and all of a sudden, it's the Jungkook that I'm used to. The guy who is a dork and funny and grateful to his fans. The one who cries hearing fan songs and who still beats himself up for hours because he messed up a song. I do criticize some of his actions and statements, but I'm not slandering him. The guy seems like a genuinely nice person and I still like him. He's still one of my biases for many reasons. But me having this reaction to content catered specifically for fans to create a more intimate connection is something BH was always good at. We only have to look at all the BTS footage out there. They've perfected the way in which personality comes first a lot of the times. It's what draws fans in (aside from music) and what keeps them interested. I'm part of that.

I'm convinced that it's most likely that a Jungkook fan or army or whoever disagrees with me, will read all this and believe I hate Jungkook. Which would be a shame because all I'm trying to do is explain how complex this situation is. It's never as black and white as solo stans would like everyone to believe and it's not a debate that can be generalized and tossed aside as solo talk by the ot7 chorus. I'm sure there are a lot of reasonable people in this fandom still who are able to have more than one thought in their head and see that only through a naunced discussion we can look at facts, see what's an exaggeration and what's false. To be able to distinguish between facts and personal opinion and also to admit that. That's not possible if we're not looking at these people as complex beings, instead of victims and villains.

[bapydemonprincess]

I’m 24 and I’ve been in this fandom since like 2010 . So not the entire time it’s been around but I was here for its main surge I feel like. And I won’t lie, when I was 10 and a majority of the fandom did ship sebaciel publicly and people made you feel weird for not shipping it, I definitely did engage with it. It was pushed on me as a 10 year old by a majority of the fandom, and I didn’t see anything wrong because I was younger than ciel/same age and I was like “yeah I think Sebastian is cute and I’m the same age as ciel so—“ BUT you know as I got older I’d say even by 14 I had the realization of how gross it was and how I didn’t actually ship it it was just that they were the two main characters in the fandom and that typically main characters are the ones who get shipped and that at that time in the fandom it was impossible to not be faced with ship stuff. And I was groomed by adults in the fandom on this very website. They knew my age and would send me smut and talk to me about myself and flirt and I honestly feel bad that I ever did engage with the ship. I didn’t know any better. But now as an adult when I do see sebaciel stuff I find myself questioning if they’re just young and if they’re going to grow out of it too and I wonder if maybe they’re also having it pushed on them by older fans like I was. I find it concerning because i know what it did to myself and what kind of situations I was put in because of it. I try to avoid the adult ones because unfortunately I think if they haven’t grown out of it and realized the implications of the ship and how it does affect real life I don’t know that they ever will. I hate that this fandom has such a bad label on it. Every person I mention it to is like— “oh the pedophile demon anime?” And it just sickens me. Idk this is kind of just a rant and I wanted to offer my thoughts as someone who has been in the fandom a long time and as someone who was in the fandom as a child even. I’m sorry if this is weird ask to send but I see you posting content about it sometimes and it made me feel safe to share my thoughts

Well I am not personally good at answering these types of asks but I am glad you felt safe to send this to me, specifically, and get it off your chest, it's all good!! 💖 And glad to know you came to realize how bad the ship was at one point, I'm always happy to see that happen once in a while in kuro, because there are so many folks around my age refusing to accept the truth and doubling down on proshipping, and also I notice very recently too trying to cause problems on purpose for antis in their spaces. 😒 It's getting hard out there since the new anime came out, and a lot of those types have attempted to return.. likely from twitter where they ran off to last time they were booted (some quite literally banned hmm I wonder why) from tumblr.

And the worst WORST part knowing proshippers around my age is knowing.. remembering.. the very beginnings of kuro, seeing the early fics on ao3 by those guys, who really started it all, knowing somewhere they're still out there.. some even maybe with kids of their own WHO KNOWS... Ugh.

And I hope new fans, no matter their age really, make sure to be careful esp on here in the main kuro tag, for these proshippers have been constantly- AND VERY BLATANTLY I MIGHT ADD -trying to advertise their blogs and discords as safe spaces for interacting... CLEARLY trying to start/continue the process of grooming that is so well known in fandoms like kuro at this point.

Overall just use block on tumblr recreationally, it's free real estate ✨, stay safe in general, and again don't be afraid whether on fellow anti blogs like mine send messages or if you feel more comfortable make posts of your own on your own blog expressing how you feel, getting it out of your system.

Hope my response was okay (I say because I'm at work at also health-wise a bit out of it so sorry grbhjfkugu) and hope you, anon are currently doing okay now!! Thank you again for sharing your personal experience!!

[v01dcha0s]

My relationship with Satan

I think (since this is kinda my personal blog) that I have to rearrange some thoughts and situations regarding my personal relationship with Satan. Please don't tell me that what I experiance was a lie and stuff. I don't care what is a true meaning to all of this (although I tend to agree, that most of my spiritual and astral experiances are mostly psychological). There's little information about Satan (not Lucifer, since they are separate beings), so maybe this will help someone. This will also be very long I belive (don't mind the spelling and stuff).

The beginning

Well, from what I remember, I was doing a tarot reading and called upon any Demon that wanted to talk to me. Suddenly, I felt a heavy energy lurking around my back. It was so heavy that I had to fold my body (I was already sitting). I stayed and felt this energy for a while, slightly amazed that something like this happened just like that. After I regain my composure, I started asking questions - using tarot and pendulum to help. I didn't felt threathened or anything, since I had my spirit guides with me, and also his energy wasn't scary, more heavy. Later, I thought that who reached out to me, was Lucifer, but later, during further divination session, I realized that it was Satan. Back then, I kinda was sceptical towards him, since I didn't knew if he was the Satan. I remember I did an astral projection some time after, in which I ended up being very upset and angry at myself, since I really didn't belived that who I saw there, was Satan. I remember yelling at Satan, telling him that he's not real and I'm just in psychosis or something. He just laughed at me. I don't remember what exactly happened then, during this projection, since I think I wrote it down in some journal I left in my apartment. I remember him placing his hands on my forhead (right where a third eye would be) and then I felt this energy running through my body. I belive now that this was him, awakining some abilities in my soul. Back on earth, I asked Satan about what our relationship should be, since I didn't know if I should devote myself to him, or just talk and stuff. He told me that I will be his assistant, and even if it sounds funny and like I'm just imagining something, now I think there's some truth to that.

About Satan

My dearest Satan (is how I like to adress him) is kind. Very soft and sometimes he gives me some sort of feminine energy. He's protective, but still let's me learn on my own mistakes. I sometimes saw him sad and stress. He sometimes teased me but never made fun of me or was mean (like Asmodeus or Belzebub - it's a different story).

Satans behavior is very changing. He shows emotions like every other being but still has this character. I feel like Satan has to put more serious and cautious behaviour while dealing with other Demons, as surprisingly, he doesn't want to fight with everyone all the time (it doesn't mean he's incapable of it, more like he doesn't like unnecessary drama involving him). While dealing with me he's more calm, relaxed, a little bit cynical. He teases me but is always kind. - quote from one of my journal entry

It pains me to see him overworked. I learned that he has more of a dyplomatic job in the Demonic realm. He has to manage different relationships with Demons; make sure that there's no unnecessary conflicts and stuff.

Regarding his looks, I see him as a tall, young man (late 20s maybe early 30s) with pale skin and green eyes. He has blond, long and slightly wavy hair. I see him often in a white, loose buttened (or like tied at the collar with a string) shirt and black pants (leather or just denim). Allucard from Castelvania would be a good indicator, but Satan has more gentle face.

My life since then

I don't feel like much changed in my life since working with him. I started feeling hmm more confident and protected that's for sure. I used to make sure that he was in my everyday life. I wore his pendulum on my neck, I talked about him to my friends. My favourite activity with him was watching rain. It was strangely intimate for me. The only like physical change would be the fact that I get those random shivers, mostly when I do divination or am tired. Regarding my practice, I think I became better at tarot and divination. The spells that I do (or rituals) with him always worked. I felt lik my comunication is much more clear with Him, then it was with my Spirit Guides. Now, I feel like I kinda drifted from that. It's not like I got bored of him, I just feel huge stagnation. I always do magick when I get the feeling that I want to, so most of the times I'm just trying to focus on my life. I think without Satan in my life, I still would be scared to break my walls, but I'm still not done with that.

Other Demons

Since the beginning, Satan gave me a list of Demons that I need to help him with. I was bold and asked him for 10, but overall I ended up having a short encounter with Stolas, Furcas and Dantalion (with Dantalion I want to work more, since I feel like he could reeeally help me with my master degree). I also thanks to him, had an opportunity to see my verion of Demonic realm.

──────────────── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ.──────────────────

I know that I haven't posted in a long time. I just feel a huge stagnation overall. Now I'm done with my semester but since I'm back home, I feel like I can't really practice. I had plans to learn scrying to make some portraits of Demons, or to enchant my necklace that I got after defending my bachelor thesis. I wan't to go back to astral projections so maybe that would be a good start again. Would you guys be interested if I posted some of my notes after those projections?

~ Lynx

[mamuzzy]

Okay, my temporary-brainfuckery is over, I'm kind of hyped now about the new year and can look back at 2023 with much more contentment. So I jumped on the train of doing Art Summary too :))) (template HERE)

Yeah, what the fuck did I do in the first half of the year... honestly, I don't remember. No, really, I can't remember...

My sketchbook can be dated back to 2021 with some old Touken Ranbu and merfolk sketches, but I don't remember actually opening it this year until june...

...and guys, I actually have only a few pages left to fill!!!! I kind of proud of myself. Joining into TCW fandom really did wonders with my creativity and productivity.

I'll get sappy with this probably, but the existence of this blog, a filled up sketchbook in my hand is the very proof that I exist. When bdick fucks me in the brain, I can't remember having these wonderful memories of creating but when my mind clears from the fog, I come up here, looking at my little fortress, looking at my silly doodles, I don't feel that I have to build up everything from the start, and I actually managed to create a safe-place for myself that welcomes me back when I return from those dark places. My art maybe not visually pleasing, my anatomy is shit, but they are mine and most importantly THEY EXIST.

❀ My artistic plans for the future in this blog... ❀ ❀ To continue creating: daily doodles. Not sure about uploading it daily but maybe making compilations from my sketchbook from time-to-time. I'm expecting to have a more relaxed job time-wise, also I'm on a medication now due to my migraines, maybe I won't spend half of my year sleeping just escape from the pain. ❀ Creating character bios for my OC's. ❀ Participating in events/doing challenges: The whole concept is scary for me because deadlines are stressing me out, and I'm a slow artist.

❀ One of the self-made challenge: Redraw my sketchbook from 2012-2014. I probably mentioned that I've found it some time ago and actually chickened out from uploading them because most of the sketches in them are quite... hmm... bpd related without me knowing I had bpd back then (also i don't want them to hide under cut because then what's the point of uploading???). But it would be interesting to redesign them and make a comparison post about it.

❀ be more authentic with my art: my original plan with this blog was to use art to heal myself, and while drawing funny stuff is great, I still believe I'm self-censoring myself both in art and both in personal posts just like I'm masking in real life and it's. fucking. exhausting. My mental fuckery is a part of my life, part of me.

❀ Writing short stories: TCW, TBB, RepComm, million ideas in my head.

❀ Getting started on my Deadshot story: A multichaptered longfic starting from Umbara arc (I wrote ARC again), following the canon events but will deviate at some points.

❀ Getting started on my urban fantasy Coruscant Guard Story.

I could go on but I don't want to set unrealistic and unachievable goals either. YEAR JUST STARTED AND IT'S ALMOST OVER!!!

Thank you for hanging out with me in 2023, thank you for giving me a chance with those prompt-games and requests. I love you guys.

[rosenallies]

Phone sex au, Shielding the other person from seeing something upsetting. Maybe “Hey, don’t do that, you’ll hurt yourself.” when rosé catches denali scrolling on sort of triggering social media posts

lmao phone sex au nali is so <3 I changed the sentence quote thingy a bit but you get the idea<3

tw/ mentions of ed (sorry everything I’ve written for this au for the past like month has had this trigger warning I’m triggered<3)

---

"Denali, are you even listening to me right now?" Rosé huffed, lifting the duvet and scooting into bed beside Denali who was engrossed in something on her phone.

"Hmm? Yes, of course I'm listening, Rosie," she replied, still not looking up.

"What are you even looking at that's so interesting? I was trying to tell you about my day."

Denali quickly retracted her phone when Rosé reached for it. "Nothing, I'm not looking at anything important!"

"I'm not sure if I believe you," Rosé chuckled, "Just let me see!"

"No!"

Rosé reached for it again, but Denali was too quick, pulling it away. Only she wasn't quick enough to miss the title of the Tumblr blog Denali was scrolling through. Rosé felt her chest tighten and her cheeks grow hot.

"Denali," she said softly, "why are you-? You shouldn't be looking at those things, it's not good for you, you'll only end up hurting yourself again."

Denali looked like a deer caught in headlights, her Bambi brown eyes wide and filling with tears. "I-I'm sorry," she sputtered, trying not to cry, "I-I just want to look-"

"Baby," Rosé tutted sadly, "You don't really want-"

"Yes, I do! You don't get it."

But Rosé did get it, and Denali knew that.

"I'm sorry, I know now that you do get it, it's just-"

Rosé nodded, she understood well. Those Tumblr blogs used to live on her high school laptop, hidden in a bookmarked folder labelled 'school' so no one would suspect anything. She knew those thoughts so well, photo after photo of girls where Rosé would zoom in on their bodies, wondering why hers didn't look like that, wondering why her thighs touched when that girl's didn't, why that girl's stomach was so flat compared to hers. Just like she had, Denali had fallen victim to blogs promoting every bad habit under the sun with the guise to stay as thin as possible.

"Can I see your phone, darling?"

Shame staining her cheeks red, Denali handed it over, watching as Rosé blocked the blog she was looking through and then deleted the Tumblr app all together before handing it back to Denali.

"Come here, sweetheart," Rosé cooed as Denali started to cry, sobs hidden in Rosé's neck where she decided to hide her face. "Shh, shh, baby, Mommy's here. You're mommy's perfect girl, aren't you? So beautiful. You don't need to change a thing about yourself. Mommy likes her baby best when she's being kind to herself and taking care of herself."

"Why is it so hard, mommy? Why?"

"I don't know, honey, I wish I did. I wish I could take it all away from you, I would in a heartbeat. All I know is that you deserve nothing but love and kindness from everyone and that includes yourself. Can you do that for me, baby? Be kind to yourself?"

Denali nodded, avoiding Rosè's gaze. "I can try," she paused, biting her lip before looking back up at Rosé, "Mommy, can I tell you something?"

Rosé's brows furrowed together with concern. "Of course you can, baby, you can tell me anything."

"I-I was having a hard time and since you worked late tonight I didn't-I didn't have dinner."

Humming, Rosé placed a gentle hand on her jawline, smiling sadly. "Is my sweet girl hungry then? Do you want me to make you something and help you?"

For the first time that evening, Denali acknowledged her hunger and nodded, shyly looking at her hands in her lap. "Could you maybe make me a quesadilla?"

"Of course, baby girl. I’m so proud of you. Let’s get you to the kitchen and get some food in your tummy, okay?”

“Okay, mommy. I’m sorry.”

“Hey,” Rosé scolded softly, “there’s nothing to be sorry about, darling, I understand how hard it is but instead of looking at those things or not eating I want you to come to me, okay? Can you try that?”

Denali nodded, squeezing Rosé’s hand anxiously. “I can try.”

“Good,” Rosé said, kissing her cheek softly, “just try, that’s all I can ask.”

[tangibletechnomancy]

The thing is, I 1000% acknowledge and respect that a lot of art communities have damned good reasons to be wary of AI, because a lot of commission economies - especially furry and furry-adjacent communities - are already constantly, CONSTANTLY under fucking siege by assholes who hear of their reputation for being willing to spend a lot on commissions and try to muscle in on the action while actively showing disdain for the communities they're blatantly trying to exploit for that sweet sweet "freak" money. Seriously, if I had a dollar for every time I've heard someone who has ZERO respect for furries - thinks they're all a bunch of freaks playing chicken with zoophilia, treats furries as a punchline in that kind of way that sounds like they might be in on the joke but when prodded further you realize no they're really not - say "hmm maybe I should learn to draw furry art, that pays well", well, I would have enough money to commission actual furry artists.

It fucking sucks. It's an eternal frustration to be surrounded by a bunch of fucking assholes trying to milk your community for money while still pointing and laughing at you like you're some kind of sideshow attraction, taking your money and then calling you a freak in the next breath, but they GUESS they could DEIGN to claim to respect you because you pay so very well. It's cruel and shitty and should not be abided, and it's painful that there's no real way to protect a community against that kind of behavior other than essentially playing whack-a-mole as long as you're there and concerned about it - and AI art absolutely does have the power to enable these assclowns, because before AI, these types had to do a lot more work to learn to draw some new subject matter, do studies on what makes it tick and what the community values about it - AI dramatically lowers the skill floor to get a passable result, and while this is a huge positive from most standpoints...well, most of the time, through the process of doing these kinds of studies, your typical greedy asshole will realize that oh shit, there actually IS work involved in this and unique skills and a community that's not just a bunch of gullible freaks but PEOPLE with inner lives as rich as your own and either find some passion for a community they once felt that disdain for, or just balk at having to ACTUALLY work for it and burn out before they even get off the ground; AI is not SO easy as to eliminate this completely but it may make it more likely that these types could get a foot in the door and...essentially Funko Pop-ify even custom art. We already see people trying it in certain adoptable communities and it fucking sucks.

This is why I'm 100% comfortable with, and even tentatively encourage, sites and events geared toward communities frequently targeted by this kind of assholery banning AI art - I have my reservations about it as a long-term solution, as it's only going to get easier and easier for people to just lie (and this is why a huge aspect of my personal approach to keeping things as ethical as possible is to be as transparent as I can be about my processes) and AI is commonly used as an accessibility tool, but at the very least in the short term I see those policies and usually my first thought is "yeah that is absolutely, completely, perfectly fair."

I just wish I was better at finding an appropriate time and place to point out to people who are taking those concerns to the level of outright lying or otherwise blaming the tech more than the assholes, that There Are Many AI Artists Who Hate Those Types As Much As You Do And There Are Many Other Approaches To AI Art. When I started this blog, I, too, thought I was nearly alone in my desire to see AI tech used ethically, for both accessibility and its own unique features as a medium, and I've rarely if ever been happier to find out I was wrong. If there's one emotional skill I wish more people had, it is this - please...learn how to be happy to have been wrong when a situation turns out to not be as bad as you thought it was.

tl;dr: It's not wrong at ALL for people to want to protect their community from people who just see them as a crowd of walking ATMs. If you're looking at AI somewhat favorably because you see it as an easy way into those communities for their commission money, you're a piece of shit and I hope you break your fingers so badly you can't even type anymore, let alone noise paint, which you're gonna have to do if you want to get a result to exact specifications.

Just, if you're in one of those communities...please don't invent, and try to stop spreading misinformation about the tech, because the collateral damage is...A Lot.

[twilightmalachite]

2×2 - Grown-Up Situation 1

Author: Akira

Characters: Hinata, Yuuta, Ibara

Translator: Mika Enstars

"Hmm… You really are frustrated, aren’t you, Vice Prez?"

[Read on my blog for the best viewing experience with Oi~ssu ♪]

Season: Winter

Location: CosPro Office (Conference Area)

Back in time, reminiscence beginning a month ago…

Late February, during ES’ first year of establishment. Inside the ES Building, in the CosPro Office…

Ibara: —You two from 2wink have been requested for a relatively large job.

It was a personal request from the producer in charge of that Volcano Island—Yamada-san, was it?

Yuuta: Ahh, right right, that was his name, wasn’t it?

Hinata: Kinda terrible we can’t even remember his name despite being our beneficiary who brought us success, huh?

Yuuta: “Yamada” is his real name though, isn’t it? It’s his stage name that leaves a strong impression, okay?

Ibara: Well, it is a common name that is difficult to remember.

He belongs to an independent agency outside of ES, a rarity in this day and age! And because we do not work together on a regular basis, we do not have many connections with one another.

Yuuta: Ohh right, he’s not part of ES, isn’t he?

Ibara: Correct. Mr. Yamada manages his own private agency.

He is a talented producer who has picked up and reconstructed several “bad debts”, such as Volcano Island.

His agency is among the largest of the “independent agencies”, so to speak…

Even for us, they are not to be ignored as a business partner.

Truthfully, 2wink’s appearances in Volcano Island were quite very well received, so I don’t find any reason to turn down this request.

I’m sure he’ll make you two shine this time too, won’t he?

Hinata: You look rather dissatisfied despite your words, don’t you, Vice Prez?

Ibara: Honestly, while this might be good news for 2wink, it is of no benefit at all to us at CosPro, you see.

It is a case where everything will be handled by a separate agency from start to finish, from inside to out—We are essentially lending out our idols.

And well, to put it bluntly—CosPro’s management will make no profit no matter how active you are elsewhere.

Of course, if your popularity and fan base grows, it might eventually benefit us in the long run, but…

That is only secondary.

I cannot say it feels good to let the vegetables you work so hard to grow and cultivate in your field be reaped by someone else…

Well, at least it is better than leaving them to rot without harvesting.

Yuuta: What? So as our Vice Prez, do you not want us to do this kind of outsourced work?

Ibara: Not quite? Shouldn’t you do whatever you like?

You guys may be paid by ES, in other words, by the agency, but—Your position is still that of a sole proprietor, is it not?

We have no place to meddle with the “management decisions” you may have.

We agencies and our idols are simply “business partners”, not close family members or friends.

Although there is an employer-employee relationship, it is one more lenient compared to that of a typical salaried worker.

Yuuta: So in short, what? Do you want us to take the job or not, Vice Prez?

Ibara: What I’m saying is that my feelings do not matter. You have the freedom to decide how to operate your own selves as an asset.

Hinata: Wha~? But weren’t you angry over something? Or did I imagine it?

Ibara: I’m not really angry or frustrated, though? I’m simply passing on a message meant for you. Is there something you have issue with?

Yuuta: Hmm… You really are frustrated, aren’t you, Vice Prez?

Hinata: I think I can understand how he feels, though. Maybe Vice Prez is feelin’ frustrated how well YamadaP is producing us.

It’s frustrating when someone else does what you were trying to do before you do, and better, isn’t it?

Ibara: I told you, I’m not frustrated. Such sentimentalities have no point in business, you know.

Anyhow, the message has been passed on. Details will be sent later via HoldHands, and you are welcome to take it from there, if you wish to respond to the other party.

Yuuta: If that’s all it was, couldn’t you have sent it through HoldHands to start with?

Ibara: As a representative of your agency, I wanted to personally let you know that it doesn’t matter to us whether or not you accept the request.

Those from Yumenosaki tend to move freely without agency authorization, but there are steps and procedures that agencies are inclined to take.

Although I suppose doing everything through email would be the more modern approach…

Procedures often go more smoothly when done in person, surprisingly.

That, and that there is one thing I’d like to confront you guys directly about.

Hinata: Eh, us?

But, as of late, Volcano Island and Chocolat Fes have been well-received, and we’ve even upstaged our low-ranking speculation in SS and advanced to the main competition—

Yuuta: —We seem to be doing fairly well, I don’t think we have any reason to be scolded, do we?

Ibara: Why are you expecting to be scolded? I can only imagine how you guys functioned in Yumenosaki up to now.

Yuuta: Huh, so you’re gonna praise us?

Hinata: Are we gettin’ a bonus? Yaay, I love you, Vice Prez! ☆

Ibara: Hmmm... I’m not quite sure whether I should be praising or scolding you.

Did you guys do something bad to Anzu-san?

Hinata: Wuh? To Anzu-san…?

[ ☆ ]

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[ellisgirl]

Ellis Twilight — Wicked Love Blooming In The Dark Night Story Event

Chapter 1 & 2

I do not own any contents of Ikemen Villains. This story being uploaded in this blog belongs solely to CYBIRD. Please support them by downloading their games and buying their stories. Both English and Japanese are not my mother tongue languages, please keep in mind that there will be mistranslations and added words for my own preferences. I translate for my personal entertainment and for my own practice only.

—What is happiness?

It’s like a twilight sky that immediately changes colour the moment it catches your eyes.

It will never let go of your heart forever, but you will never get the same thing again.

—

(Ah, what am I really doing? I have to get it together.)

I was summoned to the castle by Victor today and had an elegant tea time with him.

Just when I expected him to end the day peacefully with a friendly chat, he ended up dropping an outrageous bomb.

///// Flashback Begins /////

Victor: Ah, that’s right. Your first mission as a “Fairytale Master.”

Kate: Yes! What is it?

Victor: I want you to choose one of the Crowns to be your lover.

(This, lover…?)

Kate: Hey, wait a minute. Even if you say so, I don’t know anything about anyone in the Crown.

Victor: Yes! That’s right, Miss Kate.

Victor: I spent all night thinking about what I should do to get you to know them better and I finally came up with an idea.

Victor: Hmm, I’m a genius! It’s already late today and this job’ll start tomorrow. Hmm, wha, I’m so excited.

(I nodded involuntarily, thinking that my life would be lost if I wasn’t trusted in my very first mission.)

///// Flashback Ends /////

I wonder if we should get to know each other deeply as lovers… How should I deal with an expected first mission?

Because I was wandering around and the road ahead is rocky, I almost got hit by a Brougham, a horse-drawn carriage.

I looked down at my sprained ankle that was avoiding the galloping carriage and signed.

(But there’s no point in worrying about it, right?)

(Let’s talk to Roger first and borrow him some bandages or something.)

As I’m going up the stairs leading to the entrance while dragging my foot—

Ellis: What happened to your leg?

Kate: Wha…! Eh, Ellis-kun?

Ellis: Are you hurt?

Ellis: What’s wrong with your foot?

I was so surprised that my heart jumped out to Ellis, who suddenly appeared on his way home from somewhere.

Ellis: Does it hurt?

That night when I managed to escape from being killed to shut me up by becoming a “fairy tale master”,

Ellis, “Shall I kill her?” That’s exactly what he said.

(Shortly after that, he said something like a proposal to “make me happy”…)

I can’t help but feel an indescribable unease.

Ellis: I’ll take care of you. Put your arm around my shoulder and hold on to me.

Kate: Wha!?

As soon as Ellis saw the swollen foot of mine, he picked me up easily without hesitation.

Kate: Oh, it’s fine! Because I can walk…

Ellis: Maybe it’ll be fine if I take a good look. Roger isn’t here in the castle tonight, so I’ll take care of it.

Ignoring my resistance, Ellis ran lightly into the basement.

—

(I’m kind of used to it by now…)

In front of me, a bandage was skillfully wrapped around my sprained ankle.

I was a little embarrassed the moment I showed my bare foot, but

Ellis took the treatment seriously and only did what was necessary, he didn’t feel uncomfortable at all.

Ellis: How did you get hurt?

Kate: I was walking while thinking, so I accidentally twisted my ankle when avoiding the carriage.

Ellis: A carriage, huh? …What are you worried about when you were thinking in that moment?

(I’m not sure if I should talk about it …but maybe I’ll get some good advice from him.)

Kate: …Victor told me that it was my first mission to spend a day with someone from the Crown as a lover tomorrow.

Kate: I think it’s better not be able to move around too much, so that I can spend time tomorrow without causing any trouble with my ankle like this.

Kate: Ellis-kun, do you have any idea who is capable to be that person?

When Ellis finished fastening the edge of the bandage, he stared at me and then opened his mouth.

Ellis: That’s what I want to do.

Ellis: I want to play the role of your lover.

(Ellis-kun…?)

Kate: Why?

Ellis: Because I want to make you happy as much as possible while I’m here.

Ellis repeated the same words he said that night we met.

(Why would you feel that way about someone you just met for the first time…and even attempted to kill someone you didn’t know?)

Ellis: I don’t want you to look sad when tomorrow is over …No?

(Honestly, I feel uncomfortable, but…)

The carefully wrapped bandage and the worried look in his eyes.

I couldn’t be cold or suspicious of him.

Kate: It…It’s good.

Ellis: …Hooray

With a happy smile on his face, Ellis picked me up again.

Kate: I’m already fine with a bandage…!

Ellis: …No way. I understand that you are the type of person who cares about others’ troubles even though you are injured.

Ellis: I don’t believe that you’re fine. Let me carry you to your room.

Kate: That’s such an over-evaluation of me…

I tried to get against him, but Ellis didn’t seem to have any intention to give up.

I was forced to stay silent in his arms.

—

Ellis: I want to know about you, so that I can use it as a reference for tomorrow’s schedule. What are you doing that makes you happy?

Kate: Um… Eating something delicious, or something?

Ellis: Hmm. Well then, let’s buy something delicious and have a picnic together.

Ellis: I’ll pick you up tomorrow morning. Then, please treat me as your lover.

Kate: …Yes. I look forward to working with you.

—

(I feel like my first mission, which is outrageous, has progressed in a blink of an eye.)

(I feel like I’m doing pretty well, and I should be more wary of Ellis…but)

I stared at the carefully wrapped bandage.

I don’t know why, but there was no doubt that it was treated thoughtfully.

(…If it’s Ellis, I think I’ll be fine.)

—

Ellis: Good morning, Kate-san.

Kate: Good morning. …What is that thing?

The next morning, as promised, Ellis came to pick me up at my room—

He was carrying something that looks like a chair with attached wheels.

Ellis: It’s called a wheelchair. I made it myself because it’s not that easy to get one.

Kate: You made it yourself… why?

Ellis: Because I don’t want to put a burden on my lover’s body.

(Lover…)

Kate: No way, it is for me…!?

Ellis: Yeah. Hey, sit down.

I timidly took a seat as prompted, and found that the chair was so comfortable that I could sit for a long time.

When Ellis pushes from behind, the wheels turn smoothly and the chair moves forward.

Kate: That’s amazing. It’s such a convenient thing and you can make it yourself.

Ellis: There was a time when I desperately researched about it… I still remember that.

Kate: Thank you very much. I’m glad. But it might be an exaggeration because I didn’t break any bones. I can walk though.

I lift my hips to get off, but—

Ellis: I’ll be in trouble if your ankle gets worse and you can’t walk, so it’s no good.

Kate: …!?

My body was hugged tightly from the back of the chair.

Ellis: I’ll take you wherever you want to go.

Ellis: Even if there’s a step, I’ll lift the whole chair.

Ellis: You just need to sit here today, okay?

Ellis whispered while hugging me, who couldn’t stand up or even flinch.

I was bewildered by the excessive kindness, as if I was wrapped in floss.

(But… maybe this is the attitude Ellis has towards his “lover.”)

(Even though you’re on a mission to spend time as a lover… It’s strange to tell you to stop…?)

Kate: I understand… Nice to work with you…

Ellis: Yes. Because this is my first date with you.

Ellis: I’ll do my best to make it the happiest day.

—

Ellis: The baguettes here are really delicious.

Ellis: Victor missed eating those and was sulking for a while.

Kate: Huh, I’m looking forward to eating it. Which one would you like for jam… Ellis-kun, What do you recommend?

Ellis: Marmalade is the most popular item here, but I often buy cranberry ones.

Ellis: But I don’t like it if you’re not good at eating it, so choose what you like.

Kate: Don’t worry, I love both of them!

Ellis: Then, let’s buy both.

Kate: Eh…both!?

Baguettes, jams, honey, ham, and pickles, we were shopping for this and that.

(Because Ellis recommended many different shops one after another.)

(The picnic is still being prepared, but it’s a lot of fun.)

Kate: Even though we lived in the same London, I had no idea that there was a store like this…

Ellis: Searching for a good restaurant is my hobby.

Kate: Maybe it’s to introduce the restaurants you found to people like this?

Ellis: …Why do you think so?

Kate: That’s… I’m somehow watching the interactions of the people in the city.

I was afraid that the wheelchair would be looked at with strange eyes, but the people of the town were surprisingly tolerant, and

It seemed that Ellis was well known for being kind to everyone.

Machinist man: Well, Are you making stuff like that again, Ellis-kun? If you have time, please help me at our factory again.

Ellis: Okay. If it’s next Tuesday, Jude told me to take a day off.

A boutique clerk: Oh, Ellis-kun! Just the right place. Uh-huh, can you hold this for me for a moment?

Ellis: Like this? This dress is the one Ted bought the other day. Is it going to be sold?

A boutique clerk: Now that’s okay! Thanks to Ellis-kun introducing us to a great buyer, we’re now in a great condition.

A boutique clerk: Well, are you still working at that dangerous yakuza company?

Ellis: I have a promise with Jude, so I’ll be with him until that promise is fulfilled, i guess?

Old woman selling fruit: Ara, did you get hurt, young lady?

Kate: Ah, yes. Twisted my ankle a little bit.

Ellis: Hi …Ah, the medicine you said you wanted before, it is available at Bates-san’s pharmacy.

Old woman selling fruit: Did you remember me? I’m glad. May I add this apple as a bonus for you?

(Ellis is devoted not only to me but also to everyone…)

I can understand why people in this city love him like this.

Ellis: …You’re smiling. What’s wrong?

Kate: Whenever I look at Ellis-kun, I don’t know why but I feel like somehow my heart becomes warmer.

Ellis: Hmm..? I’m not sure, but it’s cute.

(Is it…?)

Ellis: My basket is already full. It’s about time, shall we go?

(…Maybe being able to say things like that easily is the secret of being loved by many…)

—

I held a basket full of things that we’ve bought.

When we arrived at the beautiful flower garden, I unfolded the basket.

Kate: Hmm! It’s true, this baguette is so delicious…!

Ellis: I’m glad that you like it… I’d recommend you to put a lot of butter on and toast it a little.

Kate: …Let’s keep it for some and take it home, I want to do that in tomorrow’s morning.

Ellis: Haha, okay. I’ll peel the apples, so wait for me a minute.

I’m drawn by how Ellis really treats me like we’re real lovers, I can’t help but feel lighter.

Thanks to his kind concern, my heart has been so light since this morning.

When I sprained my ankle, I never thought that I could live in peaceful moment like this.

Kate: Haa… I’m so happy.

Ellis: …Really? That’s good.

Ellis: —Hey, Kate-san.

Kate: Hmm, what?

Ellis: How happy are you now?

Kate: Hmm, well… I might be the happiest I’ve been in the past few months.

Ellis: Okay…

Ellis muttered while playing dexterously with a black blade knife he used to peel apples.

Ellis: Isn’t it difficult to make people think that they are at the happiest in their lives on their first date?

Kate: Oh, Is that what you were aiming for?

Ellis: Yeah. Yes, an apple.

Ellis offered an apple that was beautifully peeled and cut into bite-sized pieces.

(Uh, oh, you were talking about an apple? It’s so embarrassing of me…)

While thinking so, I opened my mouth gently and playing the role of his lover.

(I can’t believe I’m going this far for my first mission… Ellis is really dedicated, how should I put it?)

(…How can you be so empathetic to other people’s happiness?)

Ellis: Kate-san… Have you ever thought that now is the happiest to the point that you wished the time to stop?

Kate: Wished the time to stop…?

Ellis: Yes. This moment is completely perfect… I think I don’t need no future anymore, something like that.

Kate: Well… I don’t think so.

Ellis: Yeah… Good.

Kate: Good?

Ellis: Because… If you haven’t felt to that point yet, it means that I can make you feel the supreme happiness someday.

(…Such a sweet line, I was told something like this for the first time.)

(I wonder what you’re serious about… Now that I playing as a “lover”, I have to get on too!)

Kate: Well, then I’ll make Ellis-kun the happiest person too!

Ellis: …Me?

Kate: Of course, right? Even though you're playing as a lover, it's sad to just see you make me happy unilaterally.

Kate: When is Ellis-kun happy?

Ellis: I…

Ellis: …I can’t think of any.

(You think so much about other people’s happiness, but you have no attachment nor an obsession with your own happiness…)

That imbalance is strange, and I think it’s a glimpses of Ellis’ personality from what I’ve seen today.

Kate: Then, let’s find out together, the moment Ellis-kun is happy!

Ellis: …Ah!

Kate: Huh?

Ellis: Maybe it’s when you’re laughing.

(When it comes to pampering your “lover”, I’m definitely no match for Ellis.)

I almost took the pretend play seriously, but I quickly turned my head away.

Kate: Please tell your real lover about that instead.

Ellis: What’s that?!

Kate: Those sweet words are to please your real love one only.

Ellis: I just said what I thought. And…

Ellis: You did look a little happy though.

Kate: …uh

He stares at me as my face is getting hot.

Ellis: …..

Ellis seemed to come up with something. When I blinked my eyes, he gently pushed me down.

Kate: Wha… Oh, wait, Ellis-ku…

Ellis: If I were your real lover, would you be more honestly happy with me?

Kate: …Eh?

Ellis: I want to be your lover, because I feel like I can make you happier.

Ellis: Be my true lover, Kate-san.

I looked up in stunned at Ellis, who was covering me with his body.

Kate: …Don’t tease me.

Ellis: I’m not kidding you.

(I just met you, and it's the first time we've spent time together like this, but to think that we're going to be lovers.)

(Even if it's just a pretend play, it's a bit too much.)

Kate: Well… —I know you're doing a lot of things to make me happy.

Kate: That kind of things is for the person Ellis-kun likes.

Ellis: I like you. …Still no?

(…Are you serious?)

Ellis: I will make you happy.

Ellis: Because that’s what I live for.

Those words that seem to have been a one-sided love for years are obvious lies,

The twilight-colored eyes staring straight at me were tinged with a strange heat, as if he was telling his true feelings.

(What… Something is wrong.)

I feel the illusion of Ellis's arms placed on both sides of my face are locking me in like a cage.

It's as if if I nodded, accepting his proposal, I wouldn't be able to go anywhere anymore.

Kate: Well, I’m…

Kate: I don’t know much about Ellis-kun. I can’t answer you that.

Ellis: …Yes. I understand.

Ellis gently lifted himself up, he also gently held my body.

Ellis: Then, I will teach you a lot more of me from now on. Until you know me enough.

Kate: …Yeah.

Ellis is still smiling calmly, but—

In my body, the disturbing illusion I had just tasted was entangled like a ivy.

-

While we were talking about trivial things, the sun went down and the wind became cold,

Ellis put me in a wheelchair again and we went back to the castle.

(I really couldn't walk for almost all day...)

When we stepped into the depressed forest that leads to the castle, Ellis suddenly stopped his feet.

Kate: Ellis-kun, what’s wrong?

Ellis: Wait a minute, it might be a problem. …Even though it was a happy day.

Kate: Heh…?

Ellis: If you're scared, close your eyes. It'll be over soon.

Masterlist

Chapter 1 & 2 >> Premium End >> Epilogue

[mangoisms]

hi i was wondering, i’ve been getting into writing lately, and i wanted to know, how do you decide on how to characterize your dc characters? i feel like you do such an amazing job and characterizing them all but when i try to write i can’t help but feel like I’m not quite doing them justice 😭

hiiii first of all thank you SO much for saying that you are too kind <333 also know that i am constantly trying to find my footing with that because it really can be so difficult.

and tbh.. hmm all i can really recommend is doing reading for whichever characters you’re interested in. for tim i did sooooo much reading and to be fair a lot of that reading was for a big oc project i had planned which has now been put on hold… unfortunately… and the fics i have for him were then practice to get into it since i felt like i was at a good point to start.

writing is also something i would recommend in conjunction with it, like build a foundation, then start writing, and adjust from there! i’ll be the dangerous ledge was really me finding my footing for his character and in circle k i felt like i finally had a solid grasp on him ^_^

but i also know the prospect of following reading guides can be intimidating… if you’re going for the bats, there are guides that showcase a general view which might be easier to get into.

like no man’s land, while a massive event, was pretty solid in terms of batfam representation (well, og batfam without jason and duke and damian). but there’s also gates of gotham, which is a little more ‘modern’ and just four issues and features some really great dick, damian, tim, and cass!!! also bruce wayne: murderer?/fugitive and batman: contagion!

team comics can also help i think so that might be something to look for? young justice (1998) is a lot of fun if you’re leaning into tim, there’s probably something with the teen titans for dick but i can’t speak too much on him. and like birds of prey for babs, that kind of thing!

there’s this guide i’ve mentioned for the batfam that has a general section for the batfam then breaks down by character. i also have a reading guide tag with some random characters, i think i have like, supergirl/kara danvers, roy harper, talia al ghul, wally, etc.

@lornahs also has a bunch of reading guides for a whole slew of dc characters that are also a little easier to approach too! for the flashfam and superfam and arrowfam (there are probably many others i am forgetting rn) i personally don’t have much for that (and you could find stuff for them on that blog i think)… though i will say, regardless of who you’re interested in, you can still glean a lot of information about others even in individually-focused comics ^_^ and wiki is useful here and there too! a small shortcut i wouldn’t recommend you lean too heavily on is basing characterizations off fics just because that can get.. tricky. i mean ultimately you can do what you’d like but personally!!! i try to stay away from that and stick to canon! some influences are okay but. it’s a balance. you know

another thing, with canon, is i would honestly recommend pre-flashpoint appearances. new-52 and rebirth can be tricky. tim was like, an entirely different person in new-52 and people hated it so much that when they did rebirth (well there were many reasons for another reboot and ooc-ness in Many Characters was a large factor) they restored him to his original origins. but also the tim in the rebirth now is just….. Hngh.

almost all of my characterizations are based on pre-flashpoint canon basically. dgmw the writing can be bad and so can the politics but idk i’m not fond of rebirth/modern comics LMAO so it’s a little like the lesser of two evils??? either way i’m definitely biased but this is what i do!

with this and lots and lots of practice (even if it’s not good!! maybe especially if it’s not good because you can look at it and see where to improve!!), that’s the best way to get into it i think!!!

i hope?? this was a little helpful!! if you have any questions, lmk i’m happy to help <333 and good luck too!!!

[bedoballoons]

What's your favourite thing/moment about your anons?

Figured answering this one during new year's would be the best time, so let's have a little memory moment!!

Fairy anon: I honestly think you unanoning is one of my favourite moments, just because I was so excited to finally see your blog and I believe you were the last one I didn't know. I also loved hearing about your school life, talking about the drama and of course your how's everyone doing today's. Love you bunches!! <3

Donut cat: My favourite moment with you has to be when you first mentioned liking feet, I was so shocked and I could not stop laughing. You are so funny donut cat and of all the posts I've seen, you're the only one that's literally made me cry of laughter. Never change!

Sleepy anon: Fish.

(okay but fr, that has to be one of the best moments ever)

Broccoli anon: I can't really pick one specific moment because you've had alot of good ones so instead I'm just going to say that my favourite thing about you is how kind you are. How you always keep messaging in the server even if you don't always get answers. It keeps it alive and I think you for that <3

Mushroom anon: I loved seeing your phone case and how cracked it was, or when you showed me the mushrooms you found like you are such a unique person and I feel so lucky to have met you! I'm sorry you're no longer in the server, but please know you're always welcome to join again or just chat with us in private too

Fox anon: I know you're not here anymore, but my favourite thing about you was always how many asks you'd send in, even if I couldn't write every idea you had you'd send them in and I could read them, get inspired. Missing you greatly :(

Lucky anon: Not really sure where you went, but I already know my favourite moment with you was when you first started messaging in the server. You have such a sassy side and you weren't afraid to say some things, honestly hilarious. I hope you don't disappear forever :p

Ramen anon: Bro, I don't think we've ever been this close. This year has been so fucking full of ups, downs, super highs, and rock bottoms, but I wouldn't change a damn thing. I love you man <3

Bananon: My favourite moments with you bananon were the times I was telling you to get into horny jail. You'd always get away somehow, use donut cat as a escape or get clever with wording. I also really enjoyed calling with you too, it was alot of fun to talk!!

Starstruck anon: Obviously talking about your rom-com like life. I hope you're doing well with your date and that my post about autism helps you out! If you want more details or help you can ask away. (I'll do my very best to help you anyway can)

Sparkles anon*⁠.⁠✧: We haven't had a lot of moments so far, but I more then enjoyed meeting you and I can't wait to make some!! Think my favourite thing about you currently other then the fact you're so nice, is that you're different. You have no emojis, just emoticons.

Umbrella kitty anon: ☂️🐱 (Does umbrella kitty work for you?) I would say my favourite thing about you is how creative you are with ideas. Ive loved every request you've sent in and I eager to write more of them for you too!

Pancake anon: Where have you gone hmm 👀 Talking about Heizou...because we all know he's kinda...

Princess: I saved you for last hehe. I knew yours was gonna be a long one love, because I plan on answering both sides of this ask for you. My favourite thing about you is your smile and how you laugh when we are talking about stupid things. The little nose scrunch you make when you smile really wide.

As for favourite moment, maybe it's when we laughed so hard talking about nothing but bubble wrap or I jump scared you with my voice while you were playing Minecraft. It could also be when you accidentally burned our house down or when I first heard you voice. There's to many to choose from...