#what is NC wanted for? vote now on your phones

[iluart1]

whatm i sposed to do with this

commission for dyzzi

[toiletpotato]

nc general assembly and the republic supermajority

I can't think of a provocative title. I am tired.

Hi y'all. As you may be aware, parts of the US are passing some terrible laws in their local legislatures. While there is action in every state to be taken, I'd like to take the moment to highlight one.

North Carolina, a state that does not have a statewide recall policy. Currently has a Democrat governor (Roy Cooper! Decent guy. Could be better but definitely better than the last guy), but also has a Republican, veto proof supermajority in both chambers of the General Assembly (legislative body- like mini Congress but just for NC)

Part of this is due to Tricia Cotham. She is why Republicans now have veto proof control.

About Tricia

Ran as a Democrat on a pro-LGBTQ, pro-choice platform

Switched parties during her term because she claimed she was facing harassment on social media and Democrats were mad at her for not voting along party lines

Recently, despite what she ran on and WHAT HER CONSTITUENTS ELECTED HER FOR, she voted FOR (along Republican party lines mind you) a 12 week abortion ban. This ban was introduced just this week and is now on the way to the governor's desk.

If you are interested in contacting Tricia, her email is Tricia.Cotham@ncleg.gov

Her office phone number is 919 733 5764

Her mailing address is 300 N Salisbury Street Rm 528 Raleigh NC 27603-5925

Now, because I do not want to contribute to social media harassment, I will say I have no control over what folks do with that contact info. I believe that people should know that they can contact their local legislators just like they can contact their congresspeople. There are countless Republicans that are causing havoc in the state. This is just one particular example.

thank you for your time!

[dreaminginthedeepsouth]

LETTERS FROM AN AMERICAN

September 7, 2021

Heather Cox Richardson

Early in the wake of Trump’s presidency, Republican Party lawmakers facing upcoming elections appear to have made the calculation that radicalized Trump voters were vital to their political futures. They seemed to worry that they needed to protect themselves against primary candidates from the right, since primaries are famous for bringing out the strongest partisans. If they could win their primaries, though, they could rely on tradition, gerrymandering, and voter suppression to keep them in office.

So Republicans tried to bury the January 6 insurrection and former president Trump’s role in it. Although both Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-KY) and House Minority Leader Kevin McCarthy (R-CA) called attention to Trump’s responsibility for the attack immediately after it happened, they voted to acquit him of the charge of “incitement of insurrection” placed by the House of Representatives, and either to echo or not to oppose the accusation that the 2020 election was fraudulent.

Republican governors like Greg Abbott in Texas and Ron DeSantis in Florida, both of whom appear to have presidential ambitions, along with Kristi Noem in South Dakota, took strong stands against immigrants who they insisted were invading the country, masks that they claimed were stifling children, and now, in Texas (but soon to spread), against abortion. At the same time, Republican-dominated states dramatically restricted the right to vote.

This calculation is hardly a secret. In Washington state, two Trump-type candidates have recently challenged the popular Republican incumbent Jaime Herrera Beutler, who voted for the former president’s impeachment. Trump has endorsed one of them, and Florida Republican Representative Matt Gaetz, a Trump loyalist, traveled there this weekend to boost that candidate's campaign.

Republicans in Texas have swung hard right to rally their white base in a state that is now majority minority. The governor recently directed state police to arrest immigrants believed to have come to America illegally. The Republican legislature has passed, and the Republican governor has signed, a draconian abortion law empowering neighbors to collect $10,000 if they win a lawsuit against anyone who “abets” an abortion after six weeks, before most people know they’re pregnant; a strong voter suppression bill; and a law that permits people to carry guns without a permit.

​​Democratic state Representative Ron Reynolds, vice chair of the Texas Legislative Black Caucus, told the AP’s Will Weissert and Paul J. Weber: “They have to entertain and they have to appease because these are the people that are excited about voting in Republican primaries.”

But the Republicans' move right was always a political gamble. The fact that politics is getting so frantic suggests it is a gamble they are afraid they are losing.

Far from disappearing, the events of January 6 loom larger every day. On September 4, Jacob Chansley, who then called himself “QAnon Shaman” and was seen in the Senate Chamber on January 6, shirtless, painted, wearing a horned helmet, and carrying a flagpole topped with a spear, pleaded guilty to a felony. He could face 41 to 51 months in prison. He is one of 600 charged so far in the insurrection. Like others, he claimed he believed Trump had called him to the Capitol that day.

Some Republican lawmakers might be looking at Chansley’s four or so years in prison and getting nervous as they might face their own day of reckoning.

Senate Republicans filibustered the creation of a bipartisan commission to investigate the events of January 6, so the House created a select committee instead. McCarthy tried to sabotage the select committee by adding to it two representatives who had already declared their opposition to it; then, when House Speaker Nancy Pelosi rejected them, McCarthy withdrew all the Republicans from the committee and refused to participate in it, clearly hoping to discredit its work as a partisan hit job. But Pelosi invited anti-Trump Republican representatives Liz Cheney (R-WY) and Adam Kinzinger (R-IL) to participate in the committee, and they agreed. As of September 2, Cheney is now the committee’s vice-chair.

The committee has asked a wide variety of sources for a wide variety of records, prompting what certainly looks like concern from lawmakers who worked closely with the former president. When the select committee asked telecommunications companies to preserve the phone records of certain members of Congress, as well as the former president and members of his family, the lawmakers in question strongly opposed the committee’s request.

McCarthy claimed that any company turning over private information was “in violation of federal law and subject to losing their ability to operate in the United States,” although experts say there is no law that stops companies from complying with a subpoena (and, of course, Republicans demanded—and received—Hillary Clinton’s private data in 2016). McCarthy seemed to issue a threat when he said: “If companies still choose to violate federal law, a Republican majority will not forget and will stand with Americans to hold them fully accountable under the law.”

Eleven House Republicans wrote a letter to Yahoo (mistakenly addressing it to a CEO who left the company in 2017) warning that “the undersigned do not consent to the release of confidential call records or data,” claiming that “your company has a legal obligation to protect the data of your subscribers and customers,” and threatening that “[i]f you fail to comply with these obligations, we will pursue all legal remedies.”

The eleven lawmakers signing the letter were those most closely associated with Trump: Andy Biggs (R-AZ), Matt Gaetz (R-FL), Scott Perry (R-PA), Louie Gohmert (R-TX), Jodie Hice (R-GA), Marjorie Taylor Greene (R-GA), Mo Brooks (R-AL), Madison Cawthorn (R-NC), Paul Gosar (R-AZ), Lauren Boebert (R-CO), and Jim Banks (R-IN), who seems to have aims for higher office.

Greene warned that any company complying with the committee’s request would be “shut down.”

McCarthy also claimed that the Department of Justice had said Trump did not cause, incite, or provoke the violence on January 6. This prompted select committee chair Bennie G. Thompson (D-MS) and Vice-Chair Cheney to issue a statement “on McCarthy’s January 6th misinformation campaign,” calling “reports of such a conclusion… baseless.”

The anti-government anti-mask movement also probably seemed like a better idea before the Delta variant hit. Governors like Abbott and DeSantis have doubled down on opposing mask mandates: DeSantis has gone so far as to use the government to prevent private businesses from requiring masks and to block local officials from requiring masks in schools.

But mask mandates are widely popular, and as hospitalizations and deaths spike among the unvaccinated, popular opinion is turning against anti-maskers. The area around Miami, Florida, has seen the deaths of at least 13 school staff from Covid-19; hospitalizations of children are rising; and north Idaho has begun to ration medical care; Covid hospitalizations on Labor Day 2021 were 61,000 higher than they were a year ago (99,000 versus 38,000), and health care workers are exhausted. Doctors are beginning to push back against the anti-maskers, while school boards in Florida are defying DeSantis’s ban and Texas schools are challenging Abbott’s rule in court.

While Trump-reflecting lawmakers are demanding Americans put their lives, and their children’s lives, on the line for “freedom,” news broke tonight that Trump and his son Don, Jr., will spend the night of September 11, 2021, the twentieth anniversary of 9/11, commenting on a "gamecast" of a boxing match between former heavyweight champion Evander Holyfield (who stepped in when Oscar De La Hoya tested positive for Covid) and Vitor Belfort at the Hard Rock Hotel & Casino in Hollywood, Florida. "I love great fighters and great fights," Trump said. "You won't want to miss this special event..."—which can be purchased for $49.99.

—-

Notes:

https://hillreporter.com/commentary-watch-long-read-my-day-in-magaville-111691

https://www.npr.org/2021/09/03/1034076581/an-arizona-man-who-wore-horns-in-the-jan-6-capitol-riot-pleads-guilty-to-felony

https://oversight.house.gov/news/press-releases/house-republicans-issued-more-than-70-subpoenas-and-letters-investigating

https://www.cnn.com/2021/08/30/politics/january-6-phone-records-members-of-congress/index.html

https://biggs.house.gov/sites/biggs.house.gov/files/documents/Letter%20to%20Yahoo%21%5B1%5D.pdf

https://www.washingtonpost.com/politics/2021/09/07/gop-effort-hamstring-jan-6-investigation-enters-new-phase/

https://january6th.house.gov/news/press-releases/thompson-cheney-statement-mccarthy-s-january-6th-misinformation-campaign

https://apnews.com/article/health-texas-coronavirus-pandemic-race-and-ethnicity-gun-politics-7fc96749dd93d45ff0f2f9bab1fd7b40

https://www.texastribune.org/2021/08/31/texas-voting-restrictions-bill/

https://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/2021/09/07/desantis-abbott-youngkin-covid-mask-mandates/

https://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/2021/08/17/latest-gop-anti-mask-lunacy-is-stirring-backlash-new-polling-reveals-it/

https://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/2021/09/07/desantis-abbott-youngkin-covid-mask-mandates/

https://www.washingtonpost.com/nation/2021/09/07/covid-delta-variant-live-updates/

https://blog.idahoreports.idahoptv.org/2021/09/07/crisis-standards-of-care-activated-in-north-idaho/

https://thehill.com/homenews/state-watch/570995-austin-area-district-defies-abbot-on-school-masks-ban

https://amp.theguardian.com/us-news/2021/sep/06/republicans-6-january-investigation-intimidation

Jeff Stein @JStein_WaPoCovid hospitalizations, Labor Day 2020: 38K Covid hospitalizations, Labor Day 2021: 99K

Idaho moves to start rationing medical care amid surge in covid hospitalizationsThe surge illustrates how the delta variant has hampered progress in curbing the pandemic even as vaccines became widely available.washingtonpost.com

1,053 Retweets1,544 Likes

September 7th 2021

https://www.espn.com/boxing/story/_/id/32167639/donald-trump-son-provide-commentary-evander-holyfield-vitor-belfort-alternate-telecast

LETTERS FROM AN AMERICAN

HEATHER COX RICHARDSON

[theycallmebeccawrites]

Chris & Ellie Series: Episode 11.5

With Tumblr holding my original writing blog @beccaheartschrisevans captive (aka flagged as explicit), I have made a secondary writing blog and may end up closing the other all together. In the meantime, I am reposting all of my stories on my new blog.

Pairing: Chris Evans x Ellie Spencer (OFC)

Rating: NC-17

Warnings: graphic sex, oral sex

Episode Summary: This episode takes place in December 2016. Chris & Ellie spend some time alone with his family in the mountains.

Disclaimer: This work of fiction is not to be reposted, used or translated without my permission.

The Chris and Ellie series is primarily chronological.  It begins with a flash forward to 2016 and has a few other scenes in the future.  However, the majority of their story is told in chronological order starting in 2013 and going through 2017. Each episode starts with a date to help you place it within the story.

The Chris & Ellie Series Masterlist | Chris & Ellie Masterlist

Episode 11

Episode 11.5: Winter Wonderland

December 23, 2016

Chris stomped the snow off of his boots before he ended the small guest cabin that he was sharing with his fiancée Ellie. They had come with his mom, siblings and their niece and nephews for a snowy Christmas getaway and the rest of the family was staying in the main house.

The entire family had spent the morning playing in the snow, but after lunch, Ellie had retired back to their cabin to warm up while he had stayed outside playing with his nephews and niece. He and Scott had taken them to a tubing park up the mountain from where they were staying and they'd all had a blast. Now, with an hour or so until dinner, Chris was back at the cabin to get warm, change clothes and rouse Ellie for dinner at the main lodge.

Not wanting to track snow into the main part of the cabin, Chris sat down on the bench in the mudroom and pulled off his boots. Then he stood and peeled off his jacket, snow pants and all of his other layers. He hung everything up to dry and then grabbed a hand towel from the stack of extra towels and covered his penis with it before he entered the heart of the cabin.

"Honey, I'm home," he called as he closed the mudroom door behind him. He smiled when he saw Ellie stretched out on their bed with a throw blanket over her and a fire roaring in the fireplace.

"And naked," Ellie smirked, looking up from the Kindle she was reading from.

Chris flashed his penis at her and then smiled as an idea came to him. Instead of going into the bathroom for a hot shower, he dropped the towel then ran over to the bed and jumped onto it. Ellie squealed as he pulled her against his cold body.

"Chris! You're freezing!" she cried, attempting to free herself.

"You should warm me up then," he replied, tucking his cold nose into her neck.

"I hate you," Ellie laughed as his cold hands slipped under her throw blanket and up and under both her 'Love' sweatshirt and the grey t-shirt she wore under it. "Damnit, Chris! I was finally getting warm!"

"So you know how dire it is for you to help warm me up," he replied. "You know you want to." He pressed his cold lips against her neck.

"You sure you can get it up?" she teased.

"Oh, I can always get it up for you," Chris replied. He pulled the throw blanket off of her and then tossed it onto the floor. He slid his cold hands back up under her shirt and growled when he discovered she was wearing a bra. Pulling back, he took in her fleece pajama pants, socks and slipper boots and shook his head. She was even wearing a beanie with a pompom on her head. "Too many clothes."

"It's cold outside," she stated. "I needed warm layers."

"I know it's cold out there," he pouted. "I need you to warm me up." He smirked at her when he saw her waver. "Besides, we both know why you're reading here in our cabin and not with mom at hers." He grabbed the Kindle before she could get it. "Uh huh! I knew it! Dirty books!"

"Give it back!" she exclaimed as he stood up on the bed.

"Let's see what you're reading, fiancée of mine," he said. He cleared his throat and then began to read. "'Well, you’re being punished so no touching,' she said, grinding her ass into his crotch." His eyebrows rose. "Oh we're getting to the good stuff!!!"

"God, he loved this game," Chris read aloud. "He slid his hands up the outside of her thighs and was rewarded with a hard smack to the forearm. 'I will get the handcuffs.'" His held the Kindle out of Ellie's reach as he smiled down at her. "This is some kinky stuff, El."

"It's from a new author I'm working with," Ellie replied as she too stood on the bed, her hands planted on her hips. "Will you please give me back my Kindle?"

"You're really cute when you stand like that," Chris smirked as he plucked the beanie from the top of her head. "You're really cute all the time." He wrapped his arm around her waist and pulled her to him. He leaned down and captured her lips. She hesitated at first, but eventually gave into his kiss.

"Why are we still standing on the bed?" she asked, breathlessly, a moment later.

"Good question," Chris replied. He let himself fall back onto the bed and reached over to pull her down, but she stepped out of his reach. Eyebrows raised, he set her Kindle onto the bedside table and when he looked back at her, he saw her pulling her sweatshirt and t-shirt over her head, revealing a grey sports bra.

Ellie smirked when he whistled at her and she tossed her shirts over his face. While his face was covered, she quickly pulled her bra over her head and tossed it onto floor. She was untying the strings of her pants by the time he managed to uncover his face. She winked at him and then squealed when he grabbed the material of her pants and yanked them down.

Shaking her head, she lowered her panties and then plopped down onto the bed next to him, quickly chucking her underwear, pants, socks and slippers before she crawled over to him.

"That wasn't my first dirty book of the day," she informed him as she wrapped her hand around his quickly hardening cock. "That author, Alison, has many naughty books. It's kind of her thing." She ran her palm over the tip of his cock, spreading precum down the sides. "I was planning on jumping your bones tonight after dinner, but I suppose now is as good as later."

"I vote for both," he said, cockily. He moaned as she licked his cock from the tip down to the base. He reached for the back of her head as she slid him into her mouth and began to suck. "Fuck, Ellie."

Letting go of his cock with a pop, Ellie smirked as she climbed up his body. She pressed her lips against his and smiled against his lips when he flipped them over so he was on top. He made his way down to her pussy and groaned when he could feel the heat radiating from her core. He breathed in her desire and couldn't deny himself another minute without her taste on his tongue.

She mewed as his tongue lapped at her labia and she grabbed his hair when he teased her clit. Her fingers fisted in his hair as he slipped a finger into her and curled it up to reach her G-spot. Thanks to the build up from her naughty reading and his specialized attention, it wasn't long before her body tightened and then shuddered as she came.

Needing to be in her, Chris moved up her body and slid his aching cock into her cunt. Knowing they didn't have much time left, his movements were fast and furious. As he thrusted, her fingers slipped between their bodies and she began to touch herself, letting her fingers ghost over his body every now and then.

He came first, shooting his seed deep into her. He held himself in her for an exaggerated minute, trying to catch his breath, and then began to move again, trying to help her out. It took another minute or so, but she soon peaked, filling their small cabin with her cries.

Sweating, Chris collapsed onto the bed next to her as his chest rose and fell quickly.

Ellie cuddled against his side and they laid there until her cell phone began to ring. Reaching over, she raised her eyebrow when she saw it was his mom. She cleared her throat and then answered it, "Hi Lisa." She listened as her future mother-in-law talked and gave Chris a raised eyebrow as she learned that dinner was about to start. "We'll be there shortly."

She hung up, a couple seconds later, after saying goodbye to Lisa and then hit Chris with a pillow. "They're all waiting for us to come up for dinner!" she exclaimed. "And we smell like sex!"

"Like really good sex," Chris smirked then laughed when Ellie slapped his arm with her bare hand.

"Get up!" she ordered as she got out of bed. She went to her suitcase to look for clothes and growled when she felt him wrap his arms around her waist.

"I love you, Ellie," he whispered against her neck. "You're just so irresistible that I can't help myself sometimes."

"I love you, too," she replied. "But you still have to get dressed. I'm hungry and we don't have any food in our cabin."

It took them about ten minutes to get dressed and bundled up for the short walk to the main house.

"I don't know about you, but I'm definitely going to need to be warmed up again after dinner," he teased. "Maybe we can read more of that book."

"We'll see how you behave at dinner," she replied, her eyes sparkling with amusement. "If you're a good boy, I might break out the handcuffs."

Chris stopped walking, forcing Ellie to stop too. "Wait, you brought handcuffs?"

"That's for me to know and you to find out," she replied with a wink. "Now let's get out of this cold before any of your important bits freeze and fall off!"

Episode 12

Want to find me off tumblr? I’m @beccatheycallme on twitter. I also post my stories on AO3.

My tag list is always open, just let me know if you’d like to be added!

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #154

“the wind is screaming, it’s screaming your name; it sounds like fear.”

What is your opinion on sex without emotional commitment?  nononononoNONONONO. Last time you puked from drinking?  Never. What books, if any, have made you cry?  Johnny Got His Gun, Old Yeller, The Outsiders (I think; I know the movie did), The Notebook, uhhh others, I'm sure. Does it get annoying when somebody says they’ll call you, but doesn’t?  It depends on the person, but honestly, almost never.  I hate talking on the phone. What is your favorite simple ice-cream flavor?  Usually vanilla, but sometimes I'm all about chocolate, especially if I can't put chocolate syrup on it. When was the last time you slept on the floor?  Jeez, probably when me and Jason did at my house.  I've slept on an inflatable mattress since, but I'm guessing you mean literally on the floor with blankets and such. If you could eat one food for the rest of your life, what would it be?  I dunno.  I doubt it really, but don't potatoes have all the nutrients you actually need to survive?  If so, then probably that, but otherwise, uh.  I dunno, I'd get tired of things or die 'cuz I'm not getting what I need. I could say shakes, but I consider those drinks. Have you ever given someone oral sex?  Yeah, fucking hated it.  I'm bi, yes, but visually, penises are disgusting to me.  I don't want it in my mouth.  I only ever really did it to make him happy.  I'm open to trying it with a girl, but who knows if I'd like it. What's your favorite lyric from the last song you listened to?  "Hey, hey, NRA, how many kids did you kill today?" ("Shelter In Place" by Otep) Are you friends with someone that has a baby?  My best friend does. How many different towns/cities have you lived in?  Three. Have you ever had a kinky dream about a celebrity?  No. How many pets do you have? Would you like any more?  Six, and I kinda want another snake to breed with Venus when she's big enough.  I want to keep at least one of the babies to help with Sara's snake breeding passion. Is there a song you can’t stop listening to atm?  Oh yeesh, yeah.  I've fallen in love with Powerwolf recently and thus play a number of their songs repeatedly. How many bedrooms does your home have?  Two. How many times do you use a bath towel before washing it?  Once.  Annoys the hell out of Mom but like, I feel like there may be leftover germs I'm getting off + maybe dead skin 'cuz my skin in dry as fuck??? What time do you usually eat dinner?  This can vary from 6:00 to like almost 9:00.  I can't cook and Mom works late, so.  I'll make my own microwavable things if I can't wait for her to make something. Do you know any narcissists?  Jason????? Dillon????? dat u???????? Have you ever been falsely accused of something serious?  I don't believe so? In which were you happiest: elementary, middle, or high school?  Elementary. What was your favorite thing to do as a little kid?  Video games. You can bring back one dead pet to life. Which one?  Cali, for Mom.  She misses her so much. Rock, paper, or scissors?  I think I usually do scissors. Who was the last person to ask you out? Girt. What are your favorite pajamas you have? My purple, black, and white Jack Skellington ones ahhh What’s your least favorite ice-cream flavor?  Strawberry is disgusting. Do you prefer it when it gets darker earlier?  NOOOOO.  This is totally inverted from how it used to be, but I'm more likely to feel down when it's dark. Are there a lot of cookbooks in your house, or just a few? Or maybe none at all?  Mom has tons she never uses. Who are your godparents?  I don't think I have any. Can you touch​ your nose with your tongue?​​  No. What brand is your toothpaste?  Crest. Are you currently broken out?  No. What was the last hotel you stayed at? I dunno. Do you have a favorite NASCAR driver?  No. Eyeliner. Yes or no?  If I wear makeup, that's the bare minimum. What’s the hardest decision you’ve ever had to make?  Let Jason go or continue to let what we had ruin my life. Where is the last beach you went to?  Myrtle Beach, NC. Have you ever been rock climbing?  Nah, not interested. Have you ever played Gamecube?  No. What has been the biggest event for you to overcome?  Recovery.  It changed me for the better so much. Do you have a favorite pet?  No one can beat Teddy.  I doubt any pet ever will. When someone drops something do you immediately go and pick it up for them?  If I’m close, unless they're already reaching for it, yes. Could you call your best friend right now and tell them your biggest secret, and trust them to keep it?  HAHAHAHA NO tbh.  I love her, but she tells people everything. Have you ever played Wii Fit?  Yup.  Everyday one summer, lost 40 pounds, got in great shape. Have you ever touched a caterpillar?  Yeah, loved picking up the ordinary ones as a kid. Is there a YouTube channel whose videos you always watch?  I will watch literally any video Mark makes. How often do you feel lonely?  This is like.  Almost a daily struggle. Do you struggle with depression?  I'm diagnosed with it, but it's well-controlled now! While in a relationship, do you ever think about its possible end?  I worry about it BADLY.  Even in my current one where I feel completely secure, I have some spans of "what if" anxiety. What is the worst treatment you’ve had to put up with from someone else?  Ummmm.  I dunno. What’s the longest you’ve gone without eating?  24 hours, probs. Do you like watching music videos?  No.  I just care about the music. Which, if any, drug have you ever abused?  None. Do you know your mail (wo)man?  No. Honestly, are you often high-maintenance/hard to please?  No. Are there any flags flying outside at your home?  No. Will you vote in the next presidential election?  If the remaining candidates don't fucking suck, yes. Tell me about someone that you know dislikes you. What do you think is about you they don’t like?  The one person I know doesn't is my best friend's mom, but I can't tell you exactly why.  There's no telling what Colleen told her after our fight, but.  Colleen has told me her mom thinks I could "hurt" her son somehow.  I was fucking livid.  I adore that boy and would do anything to protect him.  Oh yeah, know she mentioned I was a bad influence, too.  But hey, the hate is mutual, I've never been able to stand her. Tell me about something you’re afraid of. Why does it frighten you?  Getting heartbroken again.  Last time tore me the fuck apart, I seriously don't know if I could do it again.  Worst pain I have ever experienced. Is there someone you could hang out with all the time, without ever getting bored of them?  Sara <3 Have you ever liked someone else when you already had a boyfriend/girlfriend? What happened?  Yup, first high school crush Sebastian.  And nothing really happened; he was taken (though I'm pretty sure he had at least mild feelings for me too), though it was at a complicated point.  Then I met Jason. What mountain ranges have you seen?  The Appalachians. Where would you most like to go in your state, etc that you haven’t been?  THERE'S AN ABANDONED WIZARD OF OZ-THEMED PARK IN THE WEST AND I WANNA VISIT. Have you ever seen or touched an iceberg?  No. Where was the most remote location you’ve ever been to? I dunno. What is your most unhealthy habit? Not exercising? Has your house ever been damaged in a storm? A tree fell on our old house during a hurricane.  It didn't cause severe damage or anything, though. What’s the least amount you’ve weighed since reaching your full height? ~118.  Hilarious. Do you think it’s cruel to keep an animal in a cage while you’re away?  Depends on the size of the cage and how long they're staying in there. Are you scared of reptiles?  Not at all. Does death scare you?  Not that much. Do you use a comb or brush?  Comb now that my hair's short. When you were younger, did you ever do that exclamation point that looked like an upside down triangle and had a really big dot?  No. What kind of relationship do you have with the last person you kissed?  She's my girlfriend. Are there things in your life that you’ll never be able to get over?  If I could get over my breakup, I can get over anything. Have you ever turned to smoking or drinking to solve a problem?  New Years of 2017 I actually did try to get drunk for that purpose. Would you mind dating someone significantly shorter than you?  No. What’s on your bedside table? Yeesh, a lot.  A fan, a basket with all my meds in it, sketchbook, notebook, my folder full of things from Holly Hill as well as my therapy homework folder.  There's other miscellaneous stuff too. How much money would it take to get you to give up the Internet for one year?  This is pathetic, but probably like... no amount.  My life sadly revolves around it, just about. What are some things on your holiday wishlist?  Always tattoo money lmao.  But I'd really love a drawing tablet, but a decent quality one.  Can't have both. Who accompanied you to your first concert?  Jason, Mom, and Nicole. What’s the temperature outside?  Phone says 79.  Gonna get to 90, though. Have you ever been in detention?  Yes, too many tardies getting to school. Do you wear black to look skinnier?  Not for that reason, but it's a plus lol. Do you have scars on your wrists?  You can barely see them, but they're there. How about anywhere else?  Yeah, quite a few. Do you post things on Facebook that are personal?  No. Has the last person you kissed ever taken their shirt off in front of you?  Just to change it. Would you ever get in the passenger seat of a car with someone who’s been drinking?  Fuck that. What is a topic you definitely don’t want to talk about with anyone?  How I'm 99% sure I lost my virginity. What is the craziest hairstyle and color you’ve had?  Style, probably what I had before this where I had short hair on most of my left side and it faded to long.  Color, purple. What was your first gaming console?  Original PlayStation. Which fictional villain is your favorite?  Um obviously Darkiplier???????? What’s the last thing you’ve made with your hands?  Hm.  Dunno. Which hair color would you never want to have?  Yellow. Who’s the last person you talked to about sex?  Sara. What is the wallpaper on your phone?  My lock screen is a heavy reminder that I am still straight as fuck for Mark, home screen is my favorite pic of me and Sara. What was the last thing you wrote down?  Stuff at the tattoo/piercing parlor to get my tongue done. What is your least favorite color?  Puke green or olive. What’s the most boring sport to watch?  Golf.  Sara, don't tell your dad I said that.

[dmozal-cancer-walk-in-50states]

Sharing Relay for Life in the Beautiful Carolina’s

As I start the final of my 50-state relay goal in 2018 I want to say how exciting this year is going to be. With only 8 states left it will be a busy year. I apologize for the huge delay in writing this blog as the first of my relays didn’t start off as expected. I fell less than 3 weeks before the first of my relays. I fractured my tibia and it slowed me down quite a bit. It made it more difficult to talk to other people because I was on crutches and was a bit uncomfortable. It was a great reminder, however, of the gifts I enjoy everyday. Health, the ability to walk without pain, the friends I have made over the year, etc. 

Shallotte, North Carolina - May 4th, 2018

­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­I must apologize for not being able to spend as much time as I would have liked with the wonderful survivors who attended the Brunswick County relay. As I mentioned, I fractured my tibia a few weeks prior to the event and walking on crutches slowed my “walking” down quite a bit! Because of that I am using photos from the Brunswick RFL Facebook page. https://www.facebook.com/Relay-For-Life-of-Brunswick-County-NC-200772466654653/ (Besides they are great)

Opening ceremony

There were many survivors at this relay compared to some I’ve attended. Each person sitting here is a survivor. They are a group of people who are strong, funny, caring, tenacious and welcoming. Thank you for letting me be a part of your relay. I was able to chat with a couple of the survivors from this group. Their stories are shared below.

Photo copied from https://www.facebook.com/Relay-For-Life-of-Brunswick-County-NC-200772466654653/

The chaplain that shared the opening prayer is also a survivor. Bill Boynton is a man of many occupations. Husband, father, grandfather, chaplain for the Brunswick County Sheriff’s Office, Lead Pastor at Church Builders of Brunswick County, and survivor (I’m sure I’m missing several more). I was so blessed to be able to sit and speak with Bill. He is a man with a very special message. But first, I want to share his story.

Me and Bill Boynton – Brunswick RFL, Shallotte, NC

Bill was diagnosed with prostate cancer a little over a year ago (June 13th). Bill had retired from his job for almost 6 months and had a physical set up that he really didn’t feel like he needed to attend. He had this feeling that he should go though. He mentioned to his doctor that he was having some issues with frequency in urination. He had no pain, no other issues, and figured it was part of getting older but his doctor is what Bill calls “thorough”. The doctor wanted him to have a PSA blood test and a digital exam. After a bit of headshaking and saying he really didn’t think it was necessary, Bill gave in even though the doctor felt there were probably no issues.

Bills PSA results were 10.2 instead of being around the normal range of 4. Because of the elevation the doctor wanted the test to be repeated. The results were a little lower but not much. Bill’s primary sent him to a urologist.  

The urologist repeated the PSA bloodwork and it was elevated again so a biopsy was the next step. Bill is the type of person who researches whatever he is questioning so he is well informed. He found that this urologist only biopsied about ½ of the cores that most doctors do. After much thought he changed doctors and his new urologist was more thorough. She and Bill’s personalities matched better as they are both people who speak “matter of fact”. She took more biopsies including some that were painful to extract. She told him that these were probably the ones that were cancerous.

The results of the biopsy came back that he had a more aggressive type of cancer. Bill said he just shut down. He is a man of faith so he not only believes in God, he also knows where he is going when his time on earth is done. He was ready to give up and let whatever was going to happen just happen. He was tired and didn’t feel the fight was necessary.

Bill continues to be thankful for his gift from God, his wife! Her strength and support as his advocate and caregiver, along with the support of the rest of his family (including those who are “non-blood related”) is what pushed him to do something. Bill said these wonderful people flooded him with phone calls and messages (locally and from several states), letting him know that he needed to fight this disease. They would NOT let him shut down and give up!

After about 3 or 4 weeks of people reminding him of his importance, he contacted the doctor. His urologist sent him to his radiologist-oncologist to see if  radioactive seeds would work. After discussion Bill, his wife, and the doctor decided on a prostatectomy. Bill is doing great and has had terrific bloodwork over the past few months.

“Men need to take care of themselves and not depend on doctors to bug them to be checked.” Bill said that men, especially men of color, do exactly what Bill did…..they shut down, they try to ignore what is happening, they don’t take care of themselves as they should. This is such an important message that Bill wants to share with everyone. He said “remember that your family needs you, friends need you, God has a plan but we need to take the step of taking care of ourselves”. Bill said it is important to get checked. It isn’t fun, but it is highly necessary. He also said by getting this type of check up, especially the blood test, you are choosing to take care of yourself and care for others. Bill also said if you don’t feel you have the money find a clinic that will do the PSA test for free or a minimal charge.

He also said fear puts handcuffs on you and you actually lose the ability to make a choice. Death from prostate cancer is not pleasant. 

Bill has passed on the lesson he learned from his father to his children and now his grandchildren which is “nothing beats failure but a try”. What an amazing man, he cares for others, has amazing faith and shows love to everyone he meets. Again, he says don’t let fear prevent you from taking care of yourself. You remove the gift of time with others because of fear…..so instead take care of yourself.

The other survivor I talked to was Heather Kinlaw. Sadly I only talked to her for a few minutes. I was hoping we’d be able to talk again so she could share her story with me. 

Heather is an event planner and has been involved with RFL for many years. She was event chair during part of her time with Relay but over the past few years she has been traveling so she hasn’t been able to be as involved with her local event as a member of the event staff. However she has been attempting to attend whatever relays she can in the states she’s traveling to.

Heather Kinlaw and me

Heather shared a few of her fundraising ideas that she has been involved in such as committee members raising money so that one of their co-committee members would receive a pie in the face. Or a T-Shirt contest where each team designed a t-shirt and people bought tickets as a way to “vote” for the design they like the most. Then that team that received the most tickets received the money from all the ticket sales as part of their fundraising money.

She had a lot of idea’s for fundraising and from the few minutes I talked to her it was obvious that family, friends, health, and community were very important to her.

Heather is not only a survivor, she is a mother, grandmother, businesswoman and volunteer. Cancer didn’t slow her down!

Two of the many people who made the Brunswick Relay such a great success were Teresa Houser and Kecia Taylor. They both took the time out of their busy day to sign my shirt and make me feel welcome.

Kecia Taylor, me and Teresa Houser

Kecia signing the T-Shirt

Teresa Houser signing the t-shirt

There was lots of fun at this event. People participated and enjoyed the day while raising money and honoring those who have been affected by cancer. The community not only raised a lot of money to fight cancer, they also shared in showing love and support for one another (such as dressing up). 

Relay supporter, raising money to help others fight and cure cancer

Myrtle Beach, South Carolina - May 5, 2018

Dr. Christopher Bach shared his story during a speech at the Grand Strand Relay for Life. 

He was diagnosed with acute lymphocytic leukemia that had spread to his nervous system when he was 18 months old. For the next 3-4 years he spent his time receiving chemotherapy and radiation at the National Institute of Health in Washington DC, trying to get his cancer under control. Chris said he was lucky. His cancer responded quickly to the chemo and he has been leukemia free for 33 years.

Dr. Christopher Bach and me

Chris developed a lot of respect for the medical community because of his experiences, so he started the path to becoming a medical doctor. He is now a gastroenterologist, helping prevent cancer in as many people as he can! As wonderful as that sounds his life has also had some additional dramatic events.

As with all treatments there are side effects that can linger for month, years, or even a life time. During his training to become a doctor a co-resident was practicing an ultrasound of the heart on Chris and found a tumor. Luckily, he was at John Hopkins and one of the best cardiothoracic surgeons took him to the operating room just a few days after the tumor was discovered. They found an myxoma of the left ventricle. He was told after the surgery that he was only days away from a piece of the tumor breaking off and causing a stroke or possibly death. Chris said that this “near brush with death” caused him to want to know more about the treatments he received and the type of cancer he had. He requested his records from NIH so that he could find out more information. He  also reached out to his pediatric oncologist.

The chemotherapy Chris received was experimental, a treatment regimen that was new at the time of his cancer diagnosis. This regimen was so successful that it became the standard for treating his type of cancer and many lives were saved because of this new chemotherapy. The doctor told Chris that he didn’t know of a correlation between the type of chemo he received and the tumor he had but there was a great deal that the doctors didn’t know about the adverse effects that patients would incur years later.

Chris mentioned that although he is considered cancer free of the childhood leukemia he had, he is reminded of the fact that there are still residual effects that can occur. The reminder comes whenever he applies for life or disability insurance and is turned down. He also said that you take the good with the bad when you currently have, or previously had, cancer. If he hadn’t had cancer he wouldn’t be in the medical field preventing cancer and curing early colon cancer. He also says that cancer influences him but it doesn’t define him. I love the way he said “I use my past experiences to better appreciate my present, my family, my health”. He reminded us that the Relay was to celebrate life, our family and friends, and to remember who we love who did not survive. I was inspired when I listened to this man’s speech. Dr. Christopher Bach is many things….husband, father, doctor, survivor, and a man striving to destroy cancer as early as possible!

I was also privileged to meet Joe and Lee Magnani. Joe is a soft tissue sarcoma survivor of almost 8 years. He is a retired custodian that thought that the lump in his left thigh was just the result of bumping into something on his job. He was incorrect.  

Joe and Lee Magnani

Lee noticed that Joe was very quiet the whole weekend which was uncharacteristic for Joe. Then Joe felt numbness in his leg so he went to Immediate Care. When he saw the doctor, she was concerned with what she was seeing so she sent him to see an orthopedic doctor to receive an MRI. While Joe was heading to receive his results Lee was fighting pneumonia and was receiving an x-ray. Lee said Joe had to receive the devastating news of his cancer alone. The MRI showed a tumor that measured 22 x 17 cm. (The size of a small football)

The doctor told Joe that he would need surgery to remove the sarcoma that was almost wrapped around the artery (there was just 1.35 mm or the thickness of a dime, between his artery and the sarcoma). If it had been wrapped around the artery there would be no way to save his leg. There was still great concern due to the size and location of the sarcoma. 

On July 1, 2010 Joe had surgery. The surgery was supposed to take 4 hours but actually ended up taking 9. Lee said she prayed every prayer she knows to every Saint she could think of as she waited with her brother and sister for news on Joe’s condition. When the doctor finally appeared, he told Lee he had good news and bad. Lee asked for the good news first. The doctor said he was able to save Joe’s leg. The bad news was that they had to remove a lot of his quadriceps muscle and nerves so he would most likely need to wear a brace for the rest of his life because his leg was numb in the area of the surgery. (a brace much like people with polio wear)

Joe had some issues during his healing including gangrene that developed because he was on the operating table for so long. That same leg had previously had a hernia and now also developed a clot. During the 23 days Joe was in the hospital, he had 4 different surgeries. The Magnani’s said they had the best surgeon, Dr. John Healey, orthopedic chief surgeon at Sloan Kettering. The doctor is an expert at what he does and is world renowned, having patients from all over the world.

Joe and Lee also had to drive into New York for 23 days to receive radiation treatments. This is a feat during normal circumstances especially with traffic and riding in the car for hours, etc. but they did it!

Lee has had her own health issues, some because of the stress of watching her spouse go through so much. So Joe had additional great caregivers besides his wife Lee. Lee’s sister and brother took turns visiting Joe at the hospital because Lee couldn’t due to her lung issues. (it also happened to be the hottest summer in years in New York which contributed to Lee’s lung problems)

On one of the many visits to New York to see the doctor Joe saw a girl around 15 years old that no longer had one of her legs. Joe said he was so very thankful he was able to keep his leg.

Joe has a really good attitude. He and Lee made a pact for Joe to walk every morning when he got home from the hospital. The first few days he’d walk with Lee for about a half block. Lee was still working and Joe told her that she needed to go to work and he would walk by himself. Lee was worried about Joe falling but he promised to “fall on the grass”. See, good attitude! He did walk and continue to add steps every day to build up his strength. It worked! To also keep his leg working properly he goes to water aerobics 5 days a week. In the winter they walk in the mall and stores.

Joe now wears a compression sock that he puts on every day. He also uses a compression boot a couple of times a day to keep the circulation working correctly so he doesn’t get swelling in his leg. Having lymphedema seems to be a small price to pay to keep his leg.

Because of Joe’s condition with his leg bugs seem to love him. These bites cause cellulitis and it can be dangerous. Lee can tell exactly what is going on so she watches Joe closely. Joe is also great about saying when he doesn’t feel good. He also wants to make sure that people (especially men) say something when they aren’t feeling right. If something is wrong, don’t ignore it. Get it checked before it becomes too far advanced.

Joe and Lee were great fun, they really like each other and have grown so much stronger with having to deal with cancer. They continue to live life to the fullest and remind people of the importance of taking care of their health and paying attention to their bodies.

Keri Wells was diagnosed with thyroid cancer in February 2007. While she was visiting her family in Iowa at Christmas time, December of 2006, she had flu-like symptoms and decided to go to urgent care. When they were checking her glands the doctor said she thought Keri might have a goiter and wanted her to see her own doctor to follow up.

Me and Keri Wells

Keri went to the doctor and he wanted her to have a biopsy. Thyroid biopsies can be very uncomfortable and she had 16 spots they biopsied. She received the call at work giving her the diagnosis. Keri finds that tough because you need to focus on your job but “cancer” is all you can think about. She called her mom who took the diagnosis hard as well. Looking back at family pictures she and her mother realized that the goiters had been growing for years. As she was growing up it seemed she was developing an Adams Apple but because it was so gradual no one really noticed.

Keri went to a surgeon who said that she actually had 2 goiters (one in front of the other) and because of the size they needed to be removed. When Keri went to see the surgeon he didn’t have her pathology report yet. As she was on her way home from the appointment the surgeon called and said he had just received the report. He didn’t realize how large the goiters were. He told her that she needed to have them removed as quickly as possible. The problem was he was going out of town so he was going to have to pass her to another surgeon to have a full thyroidectomy. 

Keri didn’t meet the new surgeon until just before the surgery. As a corrections officer Keri asked her new surgeon to make sure her scar didn’t make her look like she’d been shanked. He did a fantastic job!

It was also discovered that Keri had a lot of cancer cells wrapped around her vocal cords that they weren’t able to remove. Most “normal” people have a single dose of radioactive iodine to kill the cells but Keri has had 5 doses. She’s had one impatient and 4 outpatient treatments.

The hardest part of her treatments was the high dose of radioactive iodine she had to receive. It was so strong that she had to live in an isolation room during the treatment, throw away her clothes once it was complete, the nurses had to wear hazmat-type suits, and it took 3 days for her to get her levels low enough to leave the hospital. It is very unusual to have so many rounds of this treatment. Keri also said she has had to eat a low iodine diet 3 times and it is very hard to follow (and not appetizing at all).

Before she left Minnesota in April 2011 she had a scan and has been cancer free since then. She has yearly scans now but from 2007-2011 she had scan’s every 6 months. Keri said she also has breast cancer in her family so she is very careful to be checked.

Keri has blood work every 3 months to make sure she is doing well. Although I’ve heard often that thyroid cancer is one of the best cancers to get Keri reminded me that any cancer can kill you. Also, the thyroid regulates everything in the body so it’s function is very necessary. She said that with any type of cancer you always have to continue to be careful and pay attention to your body.

Keri has some non-thyroid issues but other than that she is feeling great. She has been participating in the Relay’s in her area since she came to South Carolina in 2011.

Keri said she isn’t someone who would go to the doctor often because she has always been fairly healthy but she realizes now the importance of having a yearly, full body checkup. Catching cancer as early as possible is vital.

I also met Susan and Scott Berman. Susan is a 24-year breast cancer survivor. (I just LOVE hearing that) She discovered her cancer during her self-exam. She found the lump in December of 1994 and when she called for an appointment her doctor’s office didn’t have any available until January. Susan was so concerned with what she felt that she called the clinic. They had an available appointment on Friday of that same week. The lump she discovered was the size of a golf ball (3 1/2 cm).

Me, Susan and Scott Berman

The doctor that examined her was also concerned so she called the head of surgery to get Susan in for a biopsy. The head of surgery did the biopsy that same day and told Susan he wanted to do a lumpectomy on Monday (yes he could tell it was cancer and even more amazing he wanted her to have surgery just a few days later).

The surgeon called a few days after the lumpectomy to say he wasn’t sure they got all the cancer. Susan told him that she wanted a mastectomy to “get all the cancer out”. The doctor wanted to make sure Susan understood what she would look like so she wouldn’t be surprised when she came out of surgery. Susan was very sure of the decision she was making. They moved very quickly through the whole process. One-week later Susan had the mastectomy. She said after the surgery she was relieved. She knew that for her this was the right decision.

After the surgery Susan had to have chemotherapy. Her treatment regimen was a three-week repeating cycle - one week she had chemo and the two weeks in between she was on an oral medication. She did this for 6 months.  The doctor gave her many options when he discussed chemotherapy, including breast reconstruction, and told her they weren’t going to do anything yet. He wanted her to think about the decisions she was going to make.

Susan hated the way she was feeling from the chemotherapy so by the fourth month of treatment she talked to her oncologist and told him she didn’t want to continue the treatments. She was so tired and depressed. She had no hair, no energy and just felt really bad. The doctor understood and said they would change her dose that day and make it her last treatment. He gave her anti-nausea medication before the treatment and when she was done that day she went home feeling better than she had for any of the other treatments.

Susan was glad because she had a trip to Virginia planned with her husband and she already hated that she had no hair and had to wear a wig, she didn’t want to be feeling sick as well.

After 3 years Susan was cleared by her doctor. She did have reconstruction for the breast that had been removed and a reduction on the other breast.

The other issue that Susan has had is lymphedema. She isn’t sure if it developed on its own but she feels that it may have been brought on by a spider bite she received when she was out hanging clothes one day. It is tough to deal with sometimes but she faces it head on.

Susan said if she could tell someone what she feels would help them it is to not be so afraid that they don’t do anything. Go to the doctor, hit it head on, get the cancer out and move on. It’s tough but important for survival.

Susan and Scott are very close. Scott is a supportive husband and partner. He also has words of advice.

He said he realizes that this disease was devastating for his wife. It is hard because he sees that it can make a woman feel awkward, uncomfortable, etc. but he says as Susan’s husband, lover, and partner he has always looked at her as beautiful and amazing (and he always will).

This couple has lost many family members and friends to this disease. They also had friends who have survived or are dealing with cancer currently. They have been involved with Relay for 20 years.

Scott and Susan, and relayer’s enjoying dancing portion

Susan and Scott continue to live fulfilling and busy lives. They enjoy each other’s company and do things together, always busy with something like dancing or being involved with their children and grandchildren. They laugh at the fact that they are busier now than when they were younger. They take care of themselves and others, and hope everyone will do the same!

Nan Hastings is a mom, grandma, coworker, runner, friend, and a 2-time breast cancer survivor.

Nan Hasting, me and Troy Matheny

She and her good friend Michele Hartman formed a cancer support group in 2013 when Nan had just finished her treatments for her 2nd fight against breast cancer. Michele's husband was still battling papillary thyroid cancer.  A good friend of these two ladies was going through treatments herself and mentioned to Michele and Nan that she wished there was more support for people going through treatments. Michele and Nan said they didn’t see why they couldn’t start a support group for all cancers. 

During that time someone asked about donating to their support group. At first, they didn’t know what they would do with the money, but as they talked about it more, they decided to become a 501(c)(3).  All donations they receive go to residents in Horry County, helping local people with bills such as electric, gas cards, phone, and food. As Nan said, people fighting cancer worry about not only their health but also the bills. So many bills come in, work life is often affected, and it isn’t healthy for people to be struggling with these worries. They lose sleep or are affected in other physical ways but that energy needs to be used to fight their cancer.

The group is having a 5K on June 30th. You can see more information on their Facebook page https://www.facebook.com/CopingTogetherNorthStrandSC/

For Nan, she was a single mom for her first round of cancer, and she had a son that wanted to join the golf team but she didn’t have the $30.00 because every dollar went to bills and medical costs. Then one day she received $500 from a dear friend. The friend told her to use the money for whatever she needed. Nan knew at that moment that when she was able to she wanted to do the same thing. It is amazing that her second round of cancer is where that desire became a reality.

Now Nan is healthy, helping others through some of the financial issues they are going through, and enjoying life every day!

Troy Matheny is the Senior Community Development Manager for Myrtle Beach and a very energetic, caring person. He has the most amazing drive to help others, is exceptional at fundraising, and has a big heart.

As part of promoting the Grand Strand Relay for Life event I participated in a live show called Carolina & Company with Troy. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b_JpvlWW0Is  I was so nervous that I didn’t say the main reason I am Relaying in every state. The goal is to share peoples’ stories so that others may be impacted in some way, as I am impacted every time I hear their journey. The hope is that someday we will Relay to celebrate the end of cancer and the people who have made the cure possible.

The theme at this year’s Grand Strand event was Dr. Seuss and Troy had a pair of light up tennis shoes that he wore when the sun went down (during the rain). His enthusiasm was contagious! 

Troy Matheny signing the Relay shirts

Troy signed my shirts. He also has some great contacts that seem very willing to help in other ways than just financial. He had a contact at the Crown Reef Resort at Myrtle Beach that help me tremendously with the financial burden of a hotel room. Being self-funded means the cost of travel can really add up. The Crown Reef went above and beyond to help with that financial burden. Not only did they help me but their facility was great to stay at, beautiful ocean view, and fun activities for people to enjoy. I would love to visit again someday and would highly recommend them! https://www.crownreef.com/

Both Carolina relays were enjoyable and raised a lot of money for American Cancer Society. The people were kind, friendly, and supportive....not only to others in their community, but for a couple from Michigan as well. A common goal shared by uncommonly kindhearted and caring people!

[bisexual-in-every-gender]

survey

Approx. Time you began this survey: 10:03 AM

Describe your mood right now: Bored and slightly anxious

Spell your first name without vowels: Bln

Age you will be on your next birthday: 29

Zodiac Sign: Gemini

Do you believe what your horoscope says about your sign? No, most of the time it’s bang wrong. I resemble a Pisces much more than I do a Gemini.

What state/region do you live in? I live in Guangzhou, China but will soon move to Madrid, Spain

Height: About 150 cm

Do you smoke? No

Do you drink? Sometimes. Not very often though as I don’t like how it makes me feel.

What's your ethnic background? White/German

What's your religious background? I’m a Christian and was also raised that way.I do still consider myself a Christian and believe in God and Jesus but I am much more liberal in my views than the majority of the people I grew up with (for example, I’m queer and obviously support the queer community and I’m pro-choice).

What's your natural hair color? blonde

What;s your natural eye color? Dark green

Do you have any bad habits you want to break? Overthinking and worrying

Name a few of your positive habits: I’m diligent if I have a task and do it early (for example I already have my uni assignment finished although its due date is the 20th May), I tell my wife I love her every day, I try to eat healthy and to not drink too many sweet drinks

Have you ever lived in a foreign country? Yes. I’m living in one now. I was born and raised in Germany but moved to China for my job 4 years ago. This year, we’ll move to Spain.

Did you vote in the Nov. 6 2012 presidential election? I’m not American, but I did vote in the last election we had here --> same

Are you even eligible to vote? Yeah, I’ve been since I turned 18

Are you right handed or left handed? I’m right-handed

When you write, is your penmanship usually neat or do you tend to scribble? I think it’s neat but I have been told otherwise xD

Have you ever experienced an accident? (of any type): Does falling out of bed and breaking your toe in the process count as an accident? I also snapped my tendon on the other foot a week after xD

Do you have/want children? Definitely! Since I struggle to become pregnant naturally, my wife and I will be starting IVF-treatment in Spain.

Are you environmentally conscious? I try to be.

What's your favorite mode of transportation? Cars

Do you prefer 80's - 90's music compared to today's music? 80′s all the way!

Are you more of an introvert (quiet/shy), or extrovert (social butterfly)? I’m definitely an introvert

What's your favorite emoticon? the one surrounded by little hearts

Do you miss the good old days of hand-written letters? I do like a handwritten card or letter but I don’t condemn technology either

Do you enjoy receiving or giving more? I like both, but giving makes me feel happier because I love seeing other people happy because of what I gave them --> same

Are you good at keeping secrets? I’d think so.

Do you take or give advice more often? I give advice more often than I ask for it, usually. But that’s also because I tend to internalize stuff and I talk about it to people only if they ask first.... --> honestly, is the person that answered this survey before me myself??? SAME!

Do you have your driver's license? No.

Would you rather be poor & happy or rich but miserable? Poor & happy I guess but I probably wouldn’t be miserable if I was rich xD

Have you ever had a pregnancy scare? Once but then when I turned out not to be pregnant, we actually cried a lot because it didn’t happen... ever since then, I’ve wanted children really badly.

Have you ever blocked someone on Facebook? Yes

Do you think recreational marijuana should be nationally legalized? Yeah, especially because it would help fight illegal traffics --> I agree

Describe your perfect first date: Going out for coffee and lunch and just talk about everything.

Have you ever been high? No

Have you ever watched a NC-17 rated film? What is that?

If you ever become reincarnated as an animal, what would you want it to be? A bird or a dolphin

Do you remember where you were/what you were doing on September 11, 2001? I was 9 but I still don’t remember what exactly I was doing

Do you ever wish you were of a different nationality/religion? I sometimes wish I wasn’t German, yeah, because of all the shit that we get associated with. I do agree that the Nazi regime was horrible. At the same time, I would say that we Germans learned a lot from that and have become an open and mostly tolerant nation and I would like that to be recognised more.

Are you more of a junk food addict or health nut? Neither. I don’t eat much junk food, but I’m also not obsessed with eating healthy --> same

Do you believe Antarctica should be considered the 7th world continent? I actually thought it’s already considered a continent, according to what I was taught in school --> so did I

Describe your own sense of humor in 1 word: Dumb xD

Have you ever quoted the Bible (or any other Holy Book)? Yes, I have. Mostly to other Christians.

Have you ever completed a Sudoku puzzle? Yes.

Would you rather be a nuclear physicist or marine biologist? Marine biologist. It actually was my profession of choice when I was a teenager. I love the sea and its creatures.

Do you have a deep, dark secret you're hiding from every one? Nah

Would you rather be able to soar like an eagle or swim like a dolphin? I already can swim, so I’d rather be able to fly --> totally!

If you wanted to learn a foreign language, what would it be? Japanese, Greek, Hindi and Icelandic

Are you bi-curious? I’m fully bisexual --> as am I

Did you watch the Disney Channel or Nickelodeon more as a kid? Nickelodeon since you had to pay for Disney Channel.

Name 5 films that were made the year you were born: Disney’s Aladdin, Bodyguard, Pet Sematary II, Basic Instinct, The Crying Game

Did you have a lot of friends in high school? Not many but I had this weirdo (I mean it in an affectionate way!): @umnachtung

Do you rely more on the newspaper, Internet or TV as your news source? Newspaper on the phone.

True or false: Bigger is better. I need more contextto answer this question.

Do you think religion is the primary cause of war? No. It can be but a lot of it these days is about economic gain

What's your favorite pizza topping? Tuna or just plain cheese

Think of your wardrobe. What color do you wear the most? Black.

Have you ever been to a planetarium? Yes

Do you feel like you connect more with animals or other people? Animals. They don’t judge you.

Do you feel like sometimes you have to lie in order to protect yourself? Not really.

How often do you exercise? Twice a week

Can you swear in a different language? Yeah, in a few languages

Do you think teachers/doctors deserve to get paid more than pro athletes? To be honest: Yes. Because I think that athletes provide entertainment and that’s great but doctors save lives.

From a scale of 1- 5, you would rate this survey: I liked it, I’ll give it a 4

Do you think most of these questions were more original or more ordinary? A mix of the two

Approx. time you completed this survey: 10:22 AM

[fresne999]

Fighting Voter Suppression

Yesterday, I attended a talk from organizers from a few different groups (it was put together by Swing Left Boston, so it had a East Coast bent) talking about what’s going on to fight voter suppression.

One of the things I’ve been trying to do (especially in the last few months) is if I see someone make a post like: if dTrump tries to stop all the votes from being counted (because it is going to be Election Week and we probably won’t know the results on Nov 3, which is fine), I say we… strike, march, etc, then I respond with, then sign up for www.ProtectTheResults.com, which is 40 or so activist organizations planning to coordinate a response in just such a case. 

I figure I’m being annoying about all the, “post about a problem,” fresne pops up out of the glooming with 5 volunteer opportunities to fix that problem, but the current moment does sort of call for it.

Anyway, it was very interesting to hear all the work being done. What needs to be done. What I came away with is my dance card is full (as in I phone banked for CA10 an hour later, will be phone banking for AZ at lunch, and volunteer with the voter hotline on friday afternoons), but does sync into the overall work. 

That we can win, but it will take work because long standing practices of preventing people from voting is going to combine here with a desperate man being desperate. i.e. rats bite. There are a lot of joyful (and fearful) warriors for justice and love. Work can solve a lot of problems. 

I’m going to pass on some of the information (along with things I already knew). Pass them along as useful.

Not comfortable signing to be a poll worker? Don’t want to make cold calls to voters? 

Signup to be a volunteer to answer voter’s questions. 

Various Swing States Democratic Parties

Vote Save America has aggregated signup forms for State level Democratic Parties in Swing States where volunteers can sign up to be voting hotline staff. Safe and remote. They’re calling you, not you calling them.

 https://votesaveamerica.com/everylastvote

California Democrats

California Democrats organizes a voter hotline within California.

https://fs3.formsite.com/CADEM2011/form144/index.html

California Common Cause

This non-profit organizes voter protection hotline for voters questions in California.

https://www.commoncause.org/california/our-work/expand-voting-rights-election-integrity/election-protection/

++++

Various groups will be supporting campaigns contacting (the chase) people whose ballots have been rejected and getting them information on fixing them (the cure).

Swing Left SF - Texas, Josh Harder (CA10), and TJ Cox (CA21)

https://actionnetwork.org/forms/join-the-ballot-chase-cure-team

North Carolina

https://www.mobilize.us/nc2020victory/event/314753/

+++++

The sheer number of existing organizations that work to help people exercise their rights as citizens to have a say in government is certainly a sign of the problem. 

Election Protection

This non-partisan organization sends lawyers and activists to polling locations to answer their questions. They also support voter hotlines.

Lawyers signup: https://electionprotection.wetheaction.org/

Activists signup: https://protectthevote.net/

Additional Site: 866ourvote.org 

We the Action

Non-partisan non-profit connecting lawyers with voter protection volunteer work either in person or remotely.

https://wetheaction.org/2020

Voter Protection Opportunities

A list of East Coast Swing State Voter protection opportunities assembled in a G-Doc.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1kZoVH7NlUNYXTAs2yVOXN69pjzALdpGOyIBGzftjwz4/edit

Voter Protection

This non partisan organization dedicated to registering voters, poll workers, and sending out poll observers.

https://www.voter-protection.org/

Together for 2020

Site lists a series of actions that can be taken to recruit poll workers and poll watchers in key states.

https://togetherfor2020.org/vote-protection-actions/

Swing Left of Boston has (working with Together for 2020) put together a volunteer form for FL, ME, NC, PA, WI, or anywhere

https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSdi6gIYLozc2Y5TA20mV6n4c_kInhPMYKx2XGJMgL5I4S4o_A/viewform

Fair Fight

Working on fighting Voter Suppression in Georgia (and expanded to Arizona, Michigan, Texas, Pennsylvania). Ranges from phone banking, college chapter, business council, pro-bono legal work.

https://secure.fairfightaction.com/j/step/volunteer-with-fair-fight

Responding to Private Paramilitary

What to do when (I can’t believe I’m typing this) if paramilitary organizations try to prevent your ability to vote by state.

https://www.law.georgetown.edu/icap/our-work/addressing-the-rise-of-unlawful-private-paramilitaries/state-fact-sheets/

Biden Campaign

The Biden campaign is working with various Democratic groups to organize people observing the polls and reporting problems. Will receive training. Keep in mind, poll observation is going on now through election day because of early voting.

https://go.joebiden.com/page/s/voter-protection

 Protect the Results is a coalition of some ~40 activist organizations coordinating a response if Donald tries to push to finalize the results of the election on Nov 3rd or refuses to accept the results of that election. This could take a number of forms: protest, phone call flood, tweet storm, etc.

www.ProtectTheResults.com

[kurlykayaker]

gaping hole

So, FYI - this is not my typical entry.  In the long ago past, I tried a combination of writing poetry and prose (kind of stream of consciousness).  See how it reads. My confidence in prose is zero.  Haha, so if you have feedback (positive or negative), I have open ears. Thank you for reading. the world spins faster in grad school, but the days still feel long the more i stare at a screen/diagram i can feel my neural synapses tangling themselves together to find the right connection, “okay, i see how that works,” a semi-friend tells me “you lead an interesting life”    with disdain. lead implies choice, interesting means ambiguous i wonder what it’s like  “to be made” with just the right amount  of egg, milk, butter, vanilla flavoring     and flour, heated to the right temperature range. your mold never left the cookie cutter, you arrived “perfect” to this world, i rarely have negative feelings about my trans male identity these days, i embrace my pansexual orientation, and i don’t hide who i am, but why did i get angry? why am i hurt?  why am i frustrated? perhaps the lack of sleep and food does not help, but i can tell you it’s more than just these things, it’s more than just these things. ....(moving to prose) I don’t share everything with everyone.  I am selective about what I choose to share - ensuring that there is some level of trust between myself and the other person.  I have become very comfortable with my “circle of friends” in PT school, but it has taken so muuuuch time and so many baby steps with all of these beautiful people, and I wouldn’t do it any differently. Even among these friends, there is always some level of ignorance, poor awareness, and ability to understand on their part; note, that I am not angered by this nor upset. It just is - which can be hard for a highly sensitive person to digest.  I have traveled, I have walked and learned the ability to keep my heart neutral. Alas, there is emotion that still has to be released. Before I can reach that “well-balanced”/neutral state.  My friends do not know the depth that I can feel alone at times - especially when I fail an exam (which does happen), during breaks when most people travel home/go somewhere with their significant other, or sometimes just on a Friday night.  I prefer to be among smaller crowds - especially if I drink. The “being alone” is so multi-factorial. - being an ISFJ on the Myers-Brigg scale (not many of us), being very sensitive, having lost my father and aunt to suicide changes you ...being a trans guy (mostly attracted to other men), and add the whole graduate school thing on top. And please do not misunderstand, I absolutely love who I am.  I love the beauty and richness it brings to my life, but there are moments - particularly painful moments, being a cookie cutter seems okay...haha I have been dedicated to therapy and found it to be very helpful.  For the last 2 years, when I returned to therapy, I have been released twice now been told “I’m ready to fly free.”  I went to a drop-in session about 3 weeks ago after failing an exam that I DID study for, haha.  Words sometimes stick in my mind, from therapists - like they do for Bible verses from some people. Her words were, “It sounds like you have excellent coping strategies you’re using well..” and just like that, the smile erupts from my face... I know myself well - to know what works well for me, in life.  I know that I find incredible meaning from helping others in my career.  People freak out when they hear I have 3 part-time jobs, but each one brings SO much meaning to me - that I find MORE meaning in these jobs than what I find in some friendships and even some familial relationships - which is SO sad to admit, but truthful.  The random patients I meet at the hospital, am able to interact with, and have organic moments with - mean the world to me. I have friends- and some of them ONLY study, study study - work out, meal prep, and then drink; this is the stereotypical health-related student. I stay up late. I eat unhealthy meals. I write poetry - art, woaaah. I go to dances alone - and dance (without having to be drunk). I don’t necessarily enjoy the parties with my cohort. I enjoy the “awkward conversation.” Things I have had to explain to my mom in the last week despite being out to her for nearly 5 years: a) how a trans athlete is trying to help U.S. states to legally allow trans people to play for the gender they identify with   my Mom, “how is that fair?   me: Sighs on phone b) what the ACLU is (she teaches ESL) c) that having sex with someone when you first meet them can be intimate (but not in her eyes) - i didn’t try to explain this one d) Re- this conversation was about 4 months ago, but we had a lengthy conversation about how President Trump’s decision to define gender legally as someone’s biological sex essentially is his attempt “to erase trans people.”    My whole family - mother, stepdad, and older brothers ALL voted for him.    Meanwhile, my Mom, “Well, what’s wrong with that?”    me: very audible sigh, *rolls eyes*, and with fire, “REALLY, Mom? Does it matter that I came out to you as a trans guy almost 5 years ago and we had these hard conversations about gender then? Have you forgotten all of that?”    Mom: “Don’t attack me. I just....don’t understand. “    me (still upset): “You know...if I don’t stay in this country, you can’t say you didn’t know, because I have explained this to you before. I’ve given you recommended books to help you understand.  And, I’ll explain it again but you voted for someone who would prefer for me to use the female restroom. How would you feel Mom, seeing someone like me...in *your* restroom?   (She’s fired up now....)   The conversation continues. I calm down and explain it to her.  I was trying to review some orthopedic information that day, in preparation for my clinical week.  I couldn’t study after that- I recall going back to the coffee shop, sitting down and being so fucking frustrated.  The feelings sunk in like the weighted Titanic - anger, complete frustration, annoyed, tired, so emotionally tired, alone- very alone, and void of hope.  My hands are shaking, I can’t tell if I’m going to cry or hit something. I excuse myself from the coffeehouse, and go home - to cuddle myself in my bed.      After my dad passed away and when I got to high school, I was afraid to leave home and go to school.  It was a weird stage and feeling to experience at that age because most teenagers want to be the farthest thing from their parent.  I later realized - I was afraid that I would come home, after school, and she’d no longer be there in the physical form.  It was a rational fear; essentially, that’s what happened with my dad - I went to school (and never really left school) to find he .... was suddenly gone.      Essentially, I’m always aware - this could happen at any moment. Despite sometimes my mom’s lack of understanding, I love the hell out of her and put these differences aside (despite wanting to educate her and try to help her understand more)....      Yet, these are still things I continue to talk about with my mom - whom I consider VERY close to me.  The pertinence of this story is that feeling of being alone.  I can spend hours alone - studying, writing, meditating, listening to music and not feel alone.  The context of the word is important; I don’t like the word, “lonely.”  Lonely in my opinion, carries a connotation of co-dependency, unhealthy attachment, lack of self-resolve (emotionally, possibly mentally) and lack of self-comfort.       What the fuck is the meaning of my word, “alone” then?  I am comfortable in myself and my independence, but I feel so disconnected from the people around me- from some of my closest friends, from my very own mother, from my classmates.  A close trans guy friend of mine, who lives in NC is doing an internship in Ireland; and he jokes that, I should “move there with him” (that’s his plan to move there).  Which is a HUGE change; and I don’t normally place great emphasis on where we live.   I think that internal happiness and connection is more abstract than that- it’s about a state of mind, and how you see life.  But, maybe a change in culture would be healthy for me?       That is something, I am unsure of - and don’t have an answer to.  I know that when I go to my favorite Latino restaurant in Athens, I feel a sense of connection and love - that I don’t feel elsewhere. The waiters will just talk to me- they’re not in a rush, and I enjoy this greatly.     ... The hardest aspect of writing sentences/prose to me is that I feel so academic and feel I need a sound “ending.”  Poetry allows me to end the poem with a beautiful decrescendo.  You’re not getting that here, haha. People try to tell me that “I’ll find someone” (re: partner) or ...”to just have faith.”  I’m not looking to find someone tomorrow or even in 3 years - it’s so much more than being in a relationship.  It’s about feeling connected to the people around me. When people provide this kind of “broken record” of a response, I’m tempted to start a conversation with this- the words you’ve been reading, what I’ve been expressing in this entry - but even with people that are close to me, when I’ve attempted, only so much is absorbed and understood. And so this, entry ends with a hole -  a fucking gaping hole in which my Mom replies, “That is life, Jordan. Life is hard.” I laugh to myself, “You don’t think I don’t know that Mom?” ....

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #468

“recollect me, darling, raise me to your lips  /  two undernourished egos  /  four rotating hips”

Have you ever seen a queen bee outside its hive? I wouldn't know. What comes to mind first, when I say “indie”? The music genre. Have you ever used Duolingo? I have not. Do you think number 13 is unlucky? No. Do you watch any old films? If so, name a few of your favourites. Through all the years in school and reading classic novels, we would usually watch the movie afterwards, so I've seen a good number and understand why they're classics, like The Outsiders, A Raisin in the Sun, Steel Magnolias... Who are some of your classic era film actors and actresses, if any? I don't know enough, honestly. Do you have any novelty ice cube trays? No. What radio station do you most often listen to? I don't listen to the radio. Have you ever been in a Catholic confessional? Yes, because I was raised Roman Catholic, and it was routine to go occasionally. Those things are so awful. Who was the last non-relative you rode in a vehicle with? Oh wow, I don't know. What movie are you looking forward to coming out? HOCUS POCUS 2!!!!!!!!!!!!! :') What color was the hair of the last person you kissed? HAHAHA he's gonna fuckin hate me for this. He has black hair, but with a bit of gray throughout already. What letter does your last name begin with? D. Have you ever liked someone and never told them? Yep. Do you regret it? Nah. Who was the last person to buy you a drink? You're talking like, a drink drink? In which case, my mother. Who was the last person to buy you dinner? Girt. How old is the oldest person you’ve dated? Idk exactly how old Juan is, but he's probably the oldest? Of the ages I actually remember, that'd be Girt; he'll be 28 next month. Have you ever found a bug in your food? omg noooooo Do you ever read things you wrote as a kid? What were you like? Fuck no, I'd cringe into oblivion. Your boyfriend's birthday is coming up, and you’re totally broke. What do you do? ... Was this written directed at me??? lmao I'm thinking of just trying to draw 2B from Nier: Automata since she's to him what Pyramid Head is to me, ha ha. Would you be content to turn out just like your mom? In most ways, no. If you could pick one topic for everyone in your country to learn more about, what would you pick? Uhhh... Well, it'd be boring as all fuck hell, but I guess politics. Be actually educated on what's going on in the country and vote more wisely. How do you feel about people your age having children? I'm 25. It's normal, and advisable before 30 anyway before the risk of birth defects and problematic pregnancies rise. When was the last time you were at a park? Jeez... the very beginning of this year, I wanna say? I was taking family pictures for someone. Do you feel like going to funerals helps you in the grieving process? I haven't been to nearly enough to know. Especially as an adult. How do you feel about the whole organic food craze? I'm not educated enough on this to have a proper opinion. Who was the last person you heard snore? My mom, at some point. Is there a TV show you’ve wanted to start watching but never gotten around to? Even though I don't really watch TV, there are some I'm interested in, like The Witcher. Have you ever worn something out in public that made other people stare at you? Oh god, I would avoid that so hard, so probably not. Do you ever make an effort to look stylish or fashionable? Or do you not care about that? I really don't care. I wear what's comfortable. When was the last time you were in denial about something? What about? Idk. Have you ever worn fake eyelashes? If not, would you ever try wearing them? No, but I probably will for my hypothetical wedding. Is there any certain style of architecture you really enjoy? Yeah; Roman, for one. I should be able to list far more, having taken Art History, where architecture played a big part... When’s the last time you made the best of a bad situation? Hm, I dunno. If you watch Parks and Recreation, who is your favorite character? N/A Do you listen to Fall Out Boy? Yeah, they're great. Have you ever been skiing or snowboarding? No. Have you ever forged a note for something at school? No. Are you a YouTube addict? Oh, for sure. I'm always on there. Have you ever found a four leaf clover? Many, actually! It's funny, at our old place, the day my father abandoned my family, I found an actual PATCH of four-leaf clovers right outside. I doubt it meant anything, but it was still cool. From that year on, that spot always had lots of four-leaf ones. Are you good at lighting fires? I wouldn't know. I'm scared to. Name someone who is an excellent listener? Sara. <3 Would you mind living to 100 years old if you were in semi-decent health? Define "semi-decent." If I could still care for myself fine, then sure, I guess? 100 still seems pretty... bold for me, though. How did your parents meet one another? They were co-workers. When's the last time you got heartburn? What do you think caused it? I haven't had it in a while because I have to take a prescription antacid. It's embarrassing to admit, but it's because of my weight; chronic heartburn is common for people of my size. I know for sure that it's the culprit in my case, because when I lost a load of weight? It went away and stayed gone until I started gaining weight back. What's your favorite red fruit? Strawberriessss. Do you enjoy sour candies? If so, which ones? omfg yesssss. Give me like ANY sour candy. Would you want a chance to visit Willy Wonka's Chocolate Factory? Ha, it's funny, the first thing that came to mind was hell yeah, so long as I could bring my camera. Can you imagine the photographs? Goddamn right I'd try some candy too, but I'm more interested in the art of it all, really. What is one quirk about each of your parents that you can't stand? Dad is easy: he repeats the FUCK out of himself. Like oh my god. He will cycle a conversation by saying the same exact thing so, so many times. As for Mom... I don't know about a quirk that I can't stand. Have you ever suffered from amnesia before? After I awoke from fainting and receiving a concussion, I did briefly. Like I couldn't remember what happened and was just crying, but it came back to me with time. Do you live with roommates? I live with my mother. Does your body feel older than it actually is? My body feels ancient. Were you always picked last in gym class? I wouldn't say last, but I wasn't a first pick, for sure. Has someone close to you ever passed away from cancer? Pets have. My grandmother died of pancreatic cancer, but we were never close, I'd say. Which form of martial arts would you be most interested in trying? Ngl, I don't know almost any names and what moves they entail. Which type of shoe dominates your wardrobe? Converse. The last time you were high, what was it off of? Never been high. Is there a particular sport you follow on a regular basis? No. Are you waiting for something to arrive in the mail? No. Could you date someone who didn’t drive (and didn’t show an interest in ever getting their license, either)? If they had no interest in getting one, I don't think I could. How would you react if your artwork became famous? Cry. A lot. But in a wonderful way. Have you ever seen an alligator in person? Yeah. I love those lil 'ole dinos. Most instances were at the zoo, but I actually very clearly remember seeing one in a watery ditch following Hurricane Floyd when the local zoo was destroyed. The alligators got out. What does the inside of your shower look like? It's a... normal tub/shower? What primary color is your Christmas tree? It's always green. When I have my own place, I reeeaaaally want a black one with faux snowy tips, white garland, and red ornaments. What is the stupidest thing you’ve done to a friend’s pet? Nothing? Have you ever seen a snake in the road? I have. Have you ever been to the Kentucky Derby? No. Have you ever heard a wolf howl? Not in person, no. When in a race, do you usually win? Ya girl doesn't race. I don't remember if I did any as a kid. Do you get sleepy when you ride in the car? Yes. How is your credit rating? I don't have one. Do you know anyone who lives in Hawaii? Yeah, a cousin of mine. What was the last phone conversation you had about? I was giving someone permission to talk to my mother about some financial stuff. How spicy do you like your food? Spicy, but not as hot as I used to enjoy. I've come to a point where I want to focus more on enjoying the food than the adrenaline of fighting the heat of what I'm eating. When was the last time you were in a very good mood? Two days ago when my boyfriend came over and we were watching some shows together. Who is at your house right now? Just Mom and me. Have you faced any of your fears lately? I mean, it's nothing major at all, but signing myself in and out of doctor appointments gives me anxiety. My mom used to do it for me, but I've been doing it for awhile now. Have you slept next to the last person you kissed? No. We both needed a nap the other day, but we've agreed sleeping together while my nightmares are being figured out is a very bad idea in case I lash out in my sleep and hurt him because I would fucking sob. Has your father met the boy you currently love? Yeah. But not everyone loves boys, you know. Are you closer with your siblings or cousins? Siblings. I barely ever see my cousins because my extended family doesn't live in NC. How many people have you really fell for? Three. Last thing to make you smile? Some stupid meme on Facebook lol. Does the person you like, like you too? Ye! Next event you’ll wear a dress to: Idk. Is there someone in your past you thought you’d never get over, and then did? Believe this shit or not... I haven't been thinking of Jason as much lately. I VERY much doubt I'll ever be totally over him, but I'm very much focused on and into my current boyfriend. How many arguments have you had with the last person you dated? We've actually never argued. Your girlfriend/boyfriend buys you flowers, you say? With our sense of humor, I'd probably say some shit like, "You killed them for me?" in an adoring voice, ha ha. Describe your life in one word? Dull. Did the last person you kiss have a tattoo? No, but he wants a sleeve tattoo AND I AM SO FUCKING FOR IT Were you intoxicated the last time you threw up? Nope.

[nogodsnomasters138-blog]

C.O.C.: Punk Tours and Hardcore History

Editor’s note: Back in 2012, I was lucky enough to schedule a phone interview with C.O.C.’s Woody Weatherman. The band had reformed as a trio and were on a tour where they played the entirety of the “Animosity” album. I was trying to help publicize the tour’s Birmingham, Ala., stop (the promoter did a horrible job), so I ended up getting this interview on the blog section of al.com. The publicizing part didn’t work, but the interview turned out decent. Included are some photos posted by opening band Zoroaster that were taken at the Birmingham date of the tour.

North Carolina’s Corrosion of Conformity … C.O.C. for short … reformed as a trio a few years back. After a tour where they performed the entire crossover classic “Animosity,” the group recorded, and will soon release, a new self-titled album. Phillip Lawless had the opportunity to speak with guitarist Woody Weatherman about the new album, the band’s reformation and C.O.C.’s upcoming tours…

Phillip Lawless: I know the new self-titled album is about to come out. I wanted to ask how the recording sessions went for the album. Woody Weatherman: Basically, it was definitely one of the easiest trips to the studio that we’ve ever done. I mean we pretty much had our shit together. So we, you know, kind of been playing the songs live for a while … well, most of them, not all of them. Working out the kinks and all that stuff. And by the time we got in the studio, man, it just rolled right on, man. We just … the way we do it in the studio is like Mike and I just kind of get in the room with Reed, get the drums all miced up, have some amps off in another room, slap the headsets on, and we just kind of play like we’re playing live. Let Reed do his thing, man. And that’s basically how we get the drum tracks going. Then we just start stacking stuff up. This time around, man, it really went smooth. No worries. PL: You said you guys were playing some of the new songs live. How did these songs come together? Did different members bring them in, or did you jam and write together? WW: A lot of both. Probably 80 percent of it, everybody just showed up and had three or four songs in their head that they wanted to contribute. Some of them were sort of partial songs. Here’s a for instance. I showed up, I had a tune that I wanted to do, but it only had a couple parts. And so I played the parts for Mike, you know, five minutes later he had some other stuff and we just threw it together and started making songs that way, you know. If you can’t come up with the whole thing, you just kind of get together and … we’ve all worked together for so long that we can make stuff like that happen pretty easy. PL: C.O.C.’s new era is kind of the old era, I guess. What led to you guys getting back together as a three piece and moving on without Pepper Keenan? WW: A kind of funny part of the story is Pepper was kind of the catalyst for getting us all back together because he had been out on the road with DOWN for a while and sort of noticed that there was some interest in having CORROSION come over and do some festivals in Europe. And so he sort of hit us all up, because Mike and Reed and I live pretty close to each other. We started jamming in anticipation of that, and that really never materialized, you know, due to a few factors. But we just kept on jamming, and the next thing you know we were writing music and playing shows and having a good time. And we just kept on rolling with the ball. PL: Correct me if I’m wrong, but you’re the only member that’s been on every C.O.C. album. WW: That’s what they tell me. PL: Was there a secret to that, or was it just carrying on to carry on? WW: I guess I just was the only one that just kept on hanging around, you know. I mean, with that being said, man, it’s just awesome to have Reed back in the fold. Especially, you know, after him being gone for like really a whole decade, man, he wasn’t in the band. And that’s really been the catalyst for making all this stuff work, having him back and it just makes the stuff flow so easy, you know, having the three original guys. It’s been a lot of fun.

PL: You guys were revisiting the second album, and a little bit of the first, is there anything you remember about recording those early albums? Any cool memories from the early days? WW: Those things, especially like, yeah you’re talking going all the way back to like “Eye for an Eye” or something like that, I mean we had no idea what going to the studio was. We didn’t, you know, we had no clue. We just were writing these punk rock songs having a good time and wound up, you know, with microphones in front of our amps and trying to capture it. But, you know, we would record that whole damn album like in a day. We’d just set up and just start burning through songs, you know. We had really no clue on what it took to capture, you know, stuff on tape and, you know, that you’re supposed to take a little bit of time or whatever. But, you know, you live and learn. Of course by the time we got around to doing “Animosity,” we did half, side two of that record in Raleigh, NC. We rode out to Los Angeles to do side one. And that was kind of our first foray into a real studio and whatnot. I guess the learning process started then. You know man, it was all good times, you can’t complain. PL: As young kids, was C.O.C. on any crazy punk tours? Were there any older bands you played with that were noteworthy or interesting? WW: Oh man, yeah dozens. You know, we were kids ourselves when we first hit the road. I mean, we were playing dives, we were just trading off gigs with, you know, punk rock bands in other towns. It would be like, “Man, well you put us up and let us play your town and we’ll do the same for you if you come our way.” And that was how we kind of traded out and got to tour back then. Because there was like this whole network, and even if you were an unknown band just starting out, I mean you could travel around this sort of hardcore, you know, punk rock network. And that’s the way we did it, man. And just from a very early stage, like whenever we did that “Eye for an Eye” record back in 84 or whatever, we pretty much hit the road right off the bat. I think we did a couple runs that summer, went out west. Yeah, that was just the way that we sort made a name for ourselves was just hitting the road.

PL: Recently, C.O.C. was playing a different style of music, and now you’ve came back playing the whole “Animosity” album. Did you have to work on your speed metal chops again or was it like riding a bike?

WW: It was kind of like riding a bike. But I tell you, some of those tunes, like and the stuff on “Technocracy” and stuff, they’re pretty challenging. I mean there’s a … they’re fast and there’s some crazy changes and lots of parts, you know, stuffed in there. I tell you, it was definitely fun relearning some of them. There were a few that we had played live through the years, thrown in sets at different times, but doing the whole, it’s kind of challenging. Because, yeah, they’re a little faster than some of the stuff we’ve been playing, you know, on the last few records. But man, they’re … that stuff is a blast to play live. We’re having a great time doing it. I mean this upcoming tour we’re keeping a lot of that stuff in the set, and doing a lot of, of course a lot of the new record. And even some, you know we’ve got a couple things off like “Deliverance,” you know, stuff like that we’re tossing in there for fun. So we’ve got a pretty wide variety happening on this tour coming up.

PL: Are you guys still doing a song off “Blind”? It seems like I heard you were playing “Vote with a Bullet.” WW: Yeah, sometimes we do a little taster of that, you know, just for fun. PL: Was the “Blind” lineup revamp the band’s decision, or did the record label have something to do with taking the band in that direction? WW: Nah, no record label stuff. I mean that was just us, you know, doing our thing. There were things at the time and the place, and that was what felt right at the time, you know, throwing that lineup together. And we had a … we made a good record and had fun on the road. It kind of fell apart, that particular lineup, whenever it came time to start working on the “Deliverance” album. It didn’t really work out that way. But we made the changes and made it happen like we always do. PL: Now, 30 years later, being on the road, how has it changed? Is it a different routine, or does it have a lot in common with the early days? WW: Hey, we’re still in a van, playing some of the same venues as a matter of fact. There’s still a few venues that are still hanging there, you know, year after year. But, I mean, it’s kind of the same thing, you know. Obviously we used to do crazier stuff when we were younger. We would do, I mean, crazy drives. We would just kind of kill ourselves and not really know it just cause we didn’t care. You know, kids just get out there, “Ah, it’s only 15 hours to the next show. We’ll leave after we play and we’ll get there in time to play.”  We used to do a lot of that kind of stuff. You know, we try to take it a little easier on ourselves, driving distances and all that kind of stuff these days. Other than that, man, you know we’re still out there doing it, having fun. So it’s kind of the same thing. PL: You’re touring with a good number of up-and-coming younger bands. Have any of those bands that have caught your eye? Anybody that you’re impressed with? WW: Ah man, there always is. Well, this tour coming up I’m really excited about. We’ve got the TORCHE guys; VALIENT THORR, who are another Carolina act, so we’re real stoked about that; and A STORM OF LIGHT, who I’m really excited to see live. I mean we always try to … if it’s our tour, we try to throw something together that’s, you know, pretty cohesive, but not exactly the same thing. Like we don’t want to go out where every band is the same thing over and over. You know, we try to get a little diversity in there, a little variety without it going too far off the deep end. And I think this tour is going to be fun. We’ve got a bunch of other dates that we haven’t announced yet. We’re going to be heading out west and, you know, up into Canada and stuff. So we’ve had a lot of people going, “Man, you never come to Canada anymore!” So we’re getting ready to. PL: No offense, but the vocals with this lineup have improved tremendously. Was that something you all worked on, or have you all just had more time to mature as vocalists? WW: Well, you know, Mike of course really brought his A-game to the album. And he did a great job. And Reed sings three songs on the record too, you know. Thankfully, I didn’t sing much. They don’t want me to sing. I just stick to the six strings they allow me to twang on. But yeah man, Mike really stepped up to the plate. He did a great job, and so did Reed. I mean those guys, you know they worked on their stuff and worked on their lyrics and, you know, spent some time on it.

[downthatrabbitholewego]

February 2017

This is a compilation of fics that I've read/re-read over the past month. Faves get a star ( ★ ). There is also a separate fic rec page for my favorites here, if you'd like to check that out. :)

MONTH: February, 2017 | (older lists)

▶▶ A Start by Inell Teen And Up | 1,458w Derek's acting like a jealous boyfriend. The only issue? He and Stiles aren't dating.

▶▶ An RA's Guide to Mutual Pining by alocalband Teen And Up | 2,208w "Stiles, this is the sixth time in two weeks that you've locked yourself out of your own room in the middle of the night and that Scott won’t pick up his phone to let you in." "Uh, yeah, man, tell me about it. He really needs to step up his roommate game." Derek seriously can't take this anymore.

▶▶ Candy Hearts by dragon_temeraire General | 1,133w Stiles decides that, since they're the only two single members of the pack, he and Derek should spend Valentine's Day together.

▶▶ Cute Bus Stop Guy by leslieknopeismyspiritanimal Teen And Up | 2,142w The guy gave him a curt little nod and neatly sidestepped him, continuing on his way. Stiles snuck a look over his shoulder, and yep, the rear view in those tight slacks was pretty good, too. The guy stopped at the bus stop, leaning against the sign, and Stiles sighed. It was a dreamy sigh, even he could admit that. He had a feeling he was going to become a morning person.

▶▶ Delivery Drivers: Unsung Heroes of the Restaurant Biz by DeliberateMisspelling Teen And Up | 4,756w Derek Hale is a Good Samaritan, okay? That's how he got roped into helping out Laura in the first place. Helping the attractive stranger who just literally collapsed into his arms might be more fun, though. Not that he'll ever admit it, especially since he got puked on first.

▶▶ Demanding Forever Series [1] That Stalky Thing by wangler Mature | 2,560w Derek frowns, thrown off. Teenagers are confusing. [2] Scientists Document This Stuff by wangler Explicit | 3,264w "Your arbitrary sex rules are getting really old," Stiles says, lipping at Derek's mouth like a goat at a petting zoo.

▶▶ Dog's Best Friend by otter General | 8,923w Other people might have found the name of the place off-putting. Stiles didn’t. He was actually relieved, when Scott handed him a business card that said "HALEHOUNDS" across the top, because clearly, if anybody could recognize and understand the evil that lurked within his dog’s fluffy precious body, it was these people.

▶▶ Former Employment by dragon_temeraire ★ Teen And Up | 4,023w Professor Stilinski is definitely not expecting to see his favorite porn star among the students of his Human Sexuality class.

▶▶ Help Wanted (But Not Really) by reillyblack ★ Mature | 20,525w "Stiles, I'll clear up your confusion about the position. Derek here needs someone to live with him. He's a difficult person to live with, so I won't sugarcoat that. But his responsibilities at the company right now make it impossible for him to actually take care of himself and his home. That would be your job," Laura explained. Both Stiles and Derek objected at the same time."

▶▶ Hot Like Burning by leslieknopeismyspiritanimal Teen And Up | 2,762w In which Derek is the grumpy neighborhood firefighter, and Stiles is a bit of a lovestruck idiot.

▶▶ How Awkward by stileshale N/A | 9,533w A shadow falls over him, and he blinks up to see Derek looking highly amused, pushing a stroller and shirtless. Ugh, Derek is one of those wholesome people that goes jogging on a Saturday morning. And, if that doesn’t make Stiles feel bad enough, he does it shirtless. And looks good. So good. Stiles swings round on his knees to look at the baby inside, trying not to hyperventilate. "Oh my god, you’re the cutest baby I've ever seen!" he declares, "And you were raised by wolves? You're not nearly as hairy as I would have imagined!"

▶▶ how to unsend an embarrassing text (hint: you can't) by bibliosexual General | 1,879w Laura tells him it's cowardly and unromantic to confess feelings over text, but too bad. Derek can't think of anything more terrifying than showing up on Stiles' doorstep (conveniently, the apartment right below Derek's) to tell him to his face. And Derek wants to know, okay? Has to know. He needs closure. He can't keep second-guessing every microsecond of every interaction with Stiles, trying to guess how he's feeling, and he can't keep hoping like this. He'll go insane. Stiles has been his neighbor/friend/hopeless crush for almost six months already, and Derek definitely can’t take another six.

▶▶ I Spy a Reunion by 42hrb Teen And Up | 1,088w In high school Stiles wanted a job he could brag about, too bad he can't brag about his job now.

▶▶ I won't sleep if you won't sleep by dragon_temeraire Teen And Up | 4,085w After the nogitsune, Stiles is unable to sleep. To help, he has a spell cast on him that will link him with Derek.

▶▶ Illuminated by ZainClaw Teen And Up | 5,013w "Because I'm falling in love with you and it's scaring the hell out of me."

▶▶ Like Immortality by Idday ★ Teen And Up | 4,815w Stiles and Derek, in letters, through the years.

▶▶ little spoon by bibliosexual ★ Teen And Up | 4,489w To save money while attending college in NYC, Stiles and Derek decide to rent one tiny apartment together. With one bed.

▶▶ Love So Hard, It Could Rip My Heart Out by Lapin ★ Mature | 7,554w Stiles is seventeen, and his best friend is drifting away, and his dad isn't speaking to him, so he's going to make some bad decisions. He's seventeen and he needs bad decisions to look back on when he's thirty, and nothing is a worse decision than Derek Hale. He'll let the Big Bad Wolf in, let him press Stiles down into the couch and he'll wrap his arms around him and he'll know it's a bad choice, but it's his, and Derek is here when no one else is.

▶▶ Mǣnōn by MyBeth Explicit | 9,237w Knotting. It’s a thing that exists. Like werewolves and weird lizard creatures. It’s just rated NC-17 so you don’t hear about it so much on TV. It exists and he gets it. Stiles. He’s the one that gets it.

▶▶ meat cute by bleep0bleep Teen And Up | 1,046w u should give it to ur werewolf ;) Stiles stares at his phone, because he doesn’t have a werewolf. Well, technically he has a crush on a werewolf, but that doesn't really count. He buys the steak anyways.

▶▶ No Refills by scottmcniceass Teen And Up | 6,765w Stiles spends almost every night at Winston Diner. They have the best coffee he's ever tasted, and free wifi. Of course, the only waiter ever on staff after eleven, Derek, was a piece of work. But maybe, underneath that chilly personality, Derek was the kind of person who Stiles didn't mind spending every night with, after all.

▶▶ No Refunds or Exchanges by badwolfbadwolf Mature | 18,916w Stiles is the newest deputy in the Beacon Hills Sheriff’s Department, and has maybe just been a little in love with Derek Hale since Stiles had made a fool of himself in front of him at the SD summer picnic a few years ago. Being married to him—only for the sake of not getting deported—is going to suck in new and unusual ways.

▶▶ Nonsexual Favors by sterekseason N/A | 846w Prompt: "I need a favor, and not the sexual kind."

▶▶ Not Quite A Siren, But Something Like That by lapsus_calami General | 2,891w There's a sea creature stealing all of Derek's stuff. For some reason he finds that more endearing than annoying.

▶▶ Of Glasses And Lacrosse Sticks by charlesdk Teen And Up | 6,810w "Okay, how 'bout this? One date, just one date, and if you still don't believe I'm genuinely interested in you, then I'll leave you alone for good. How does that sound?" Derek hesitated for another moment, before he sighed and said, "Fine. One date."

▶▶ One life stand by Vendelin ★ Explicit | 84,278w Stiles is used to selling himself to make ends meet. But it's getting harder to keep those ends meeting, and there's only so much of Stiles to go around. Until a too-fancy car shows up in his neighborhood, and he meets Derek Hale. All Derek wants is Stiles's time, someone to stay on his arm for events and smile for the cameras. It's the easiest job Stiles has ever had, the best-paying one he's ever had, and he's more than happy to sign up. Derek is everything and nothing Stiles expects him to be, with his tailored suits, sharp mind and his quiet way of caring. But it's just a job and Stiles never meant to fall in love.

▶▶ Orchard Lane Series [1] A Blossoming Romance by Trelkez Teen And Up | 7,533w Stiles will just have to try harder next time. No one can ignore him forever. [2] Welcoming Committee by Trelkez Teen And Up | 2,625w "I miss the days when I thought Derek was the strangest person on this block," Stiles says.

▶▶ Peeping Stiles by literaryoblivion Mature | 16,550w Stiles finds himself outside Derek's house because he just can't seem to stay away.

▶▶ quoting Rhett Butler by haleofStilesheart Teen And Up | 2,445w Stiles has a bad habit of dating complete assholes. Good thing Derek's there to knock some sense into him.

▶▶ Taking Care by LoveActually_rps Explicit | 3,413w Derek had returned from a conference where the new CEO, Mr Stiles Stilinski, took over his company in a so called meeting where all the white collared, richly clothed shareholders - assholes - voted against Derek. He hadn’t even waited for a final handshake with the new owner. He knew, he’d never be able to fake a smile when his heart was shattering into a thousand pieces. Well, they had Peter to deal with these formalities.

▶▶ the blazing bombardier by bibliosexxual N/A | 1,599w Derek fundamentally doesn’t understand people who like roller coasters.

▶▶ the roommate by bibliosexxual N/A | 1,826w Stiles' mysterious new roommate shows up right as Stiles and Scott are sliding their second tray of ginger snaps out of the oven. Stiles thought it’d be a nice way to welcome him, break the ice a little, all that. He’s also planning to make some sugar cookies in case D. Hale has less adventurous tastes. Never let it be said that Stiles Stilinski doesn’t plan ahead.

▶▶ To Be Worthy Of Hope by alocalband ★ Teen And Up | 7,482w "If you can't say the words, you're not mature enough to know what they mean," Scott tells him. Stiles throws a french fry at him. (In which Derek is secretly pining, Stiles is oblivious to both Derek’s feelings as well as his own, and any personal growth that happens in the mean time is completely reluctant.)

▶▶ We All Fall by cobrilee N/A | 815w Derek has a thing for Stiles' bed. Stiles doesn’t question it.

▶▶ We're Burning One Hell of a Something by calrissian18 Mature | 6,031w Derek's roommate has already moved in by the time he shows up. And he's taken up both sides of the room.

▶▶ Werewolf-Friendly by badwolfbadwolf ★ Explicit | 27,227w Derek is a junior in college, never could get the hang of social interaction, and is, you know, a werewolf. A werewolf and a virgin. And it isn't like anyone is banging down his door to hop on his werewolf dick, save for the few pervs who acted like he was some kind of exotic toy to be played with and experienced. So, when he sees Stiles' ad on Hot Men 4 Rent, Derek is... interested.

▶▶ You've got me slippin' and a slidin' by ElisAttack General | 3,683w Derek lives in the middle of nowhere, and is probably in love with his delivery boy.

▶▶ (Untitled Tumblr ficlet) by bibliosexxual Mature | 4,220w Prompt: Stiles tries to seduce Derek but Derek has the habit of only dating older people (Jennifer, Kate...). So he says no to Stiles and Stiles is really disappointed but by chance he keeps seeing Derek and with time Derek realizes that he may have made a mistake.

▶▶ (Untitled Tumblr ficlet) by nogitsunelichen N/A | 696w Prompt: "I thought it was a one-night stand... but now we're married..."

▶▶ (Untitled Tumblr ficlet) by sterekseason N/A | 377w Derek shows up to his first pack meeting after moving back to Beacon Hills wearing worn out jeans and a faded flannel, chest hair popping out near the top. His beard is full, his hair is longer, almost long enough for a bun, his eyes have smile lines. He's happy.

▶▶ (Untitled Tumblr ficlet) by villainny N/A | 678w Prompt: Derek is a deliveryman and Stiles ordered a hug

- - - - -

[scribbleboxfox]

Quick TL;DR:

Betsy DeVos is that lady everyone’s talking about who doesn’t know jack shit about education and wants to privatize public education. Right now the vote on her has been postponed until January 31st, and in that time we can get a lot done.

What you need to do if you live in any of the following states;  Tennessee, Wyoming, North Carolina, South Carolina, Georgia, Kentucky, Maine, Louisiana, Indiana, Utah, Kansas and Alaska, call your senator and voice your concerns! Here’s a list of their numbers:

Lamar Alexander (TN) – 202-224-4944 Michael B. Enzi (WY) – 202-224-3424 Richard Burr (NC) – 202-224-3154 Johnny Isakson (GA) – 202-224-3643 Rand Paul (KY) – 202-224-4343 Susan Collins (ME) – 202-224-2523 Bill Cassidy, M.D. (LA) – 202-224-5824 Todd Young (IN) 202-224-5623 Orrin Hatch (UT) – 202-224-5251 Pat Roberts (KS) – 202-224-4774 Lisa Murkowski (AK) – 202-224-6665 Tim Scott (SC) – 202-224-6121

And here’s an example of what you can say:

“Hello, my name is [YOUR NAME] and I am a constituent of [SENATOR’S NAME] from [CITY WHERE YOU LIVE]. My address is [ADDRESS]. I’m calling to urge [SENATOR’S NAME] to vote against Betsy DeVos’ confirmation as Secretary of Education. There are plenty of reasons to oppose her confirmation, but I’m concerned with her complete ignorance around special education. The Individuals with Disabilities Education Act — which DeVos did not know was a federal law — guarantees rights to both students with disabilities and to their parents. So this isn’t just about civil rights; it’s also crucial to families. We cannot afford a Secretary of Education who’s “confused” on what the law is.

IDEA and the ADA were both signed into law by Republican Presidents. Disability rights are not and cannot become a partisan issue, and [SENATOR’S NAME] will lose my vote if [HE/SHE] votes to confirm Betsy DeVos.”

Keep in mind that you don’t actually have to say all of that if you don’t want to! Above is just an example taken from the link at the top of this post. 

Here’s another variation:

“Hello, my name is [YOUR NAME] and I am a constituent of [SENATOR’S NAME] from [CITY WHERE YOU LIVE]. My address is [ADDRESS]. I’m calling to urge [SENATOR’S NAME] to vote against Betsy DeVos’ confirmation as Secretary of Education. I believe that her ignorance of many aspects of public education will lead to more harm than good,  and [SENATOR’S NAME] will lose my vote if [HE/SHE] votes to confirm Betsy DeVos.”

Important stuff:

They are going to ask for your address or zip code to make sure that you’re a constituent. That’s normal, so don’t worry. 

Honestly, the people on the end of the line are usually pretty chill. They’ll answer, you say your part, they’ll be like “ok”, and then the call’s over. 

It’s really freaking important that you call ok this lady will ruin public education for literally everyone.

[atasteofchocolates]

Summer update

01/09/2017

As we are now going into Autumn I thought I’d write a little summer update on whats been happening since June when I finished my exams.

So most of it I have already written in detail but here are the bits I left out. 

Only met up with my friends two or three times this summer, half out of choice the other half out of not being invited. Ever since Phil started dating this guy I just didn’t want to be apart of the group. Considering he questioned James on why he dated “that” cause I’m so small and then went on to call me a dwarf, steal from a shop and almost cheat on Phil... It’s not a surprise I didn’t want anything to do with him. Luckily they have now broken up by sadly I think he’s going to be a sour taste that not even a strong mint can get rid of. 

Thankfully, in August I was not bored out of my mind because I had NCS. Cutting out the boy drama Charlie had the whole time and the argument caused because of it, NCS was decent. The first week was spent in north wales with no internet and no signal. We were surrounded by fields and trees with birds singing every morning and bon-fires at night. I was in absolute peace. Straight away I bonded with a girl named Hannah because on the first activity we had to do all these solving activities. One of them was that we had to get the whole team through the small windows of this little wooden house. The gaps got bigger the higher up you went. Hannah and I being the smallest, we went through first. We were lifted up and put through the side windows. However after we realized we could have just crawled through the bottom ones. Since then we have been really close, talking about Doctor who, our similar music taste and inside jokes we have now created. Luckily I found her or I would have been mostly alone for the whole month. Two days in and Charlie had found new friends and would walk off with them not even checking to see if I was okay. Sometimes I was left walking alone because she had walked off. When we sat down around a camp-fire, I sat next to her and her words were “but what about Anoushka” like sorry I sat next to you, I’ll go somewhere else next time. It’s fair to say I’m a bit bitter about the whole situation. But who wouldn’t be? You put up with all the boy drama and give advice that only gets thrown back in your face only to be ditched in the end. Anyways we did other activities like Canoeing, caving and Jacobs Ladder which was fun, tree climbing... not so much. 

The second week was loads better for me. I distanced myself from Charlie and hung out with Hannah more. We had our own dorm rooms in Bath Spa university and we had our own bathrooms! This was a massive upgrade from last week. We spent the week having talks with different people in the day about how we can vote, what charities we should support, leader ship blah blah blah and then when we got back a group of three would cook and we would play games in the evening. My team cooked Stir-fry and considering I don’t even like stir-fry I think I did a good job! I loved playing capture the flag and manhunt on an evening as the fresh air made me feel relaxed. It also helped me bond with Phoebe, Emily, Hue and Bailey. We teamed up with some Bristol NCS people and hid behind the shop during manhunt and pretending to be trees and make sheep noises. Bailey was obsessed with me letting him give me a piggy back and Emily and I were in a similar situation. Apparently Phoebe liked one of the guys there and she was trying to impress him. She then went on to tell me about Bailey asking her for nudes a week before NCS started.... awkward. One night some of us sat in Emilys block with duvets and watched Shark Tale off Phoebes phone. Felt like proper students. 

The last two weeks were pretty boring, my anxiety was awful the whole time however I did get three people read my book and all three loved it and are now begging for updates. 

I start college on Monday. It’s an introduction day from 9:30-1:30pm. It felt strange having my own college badge and now having a bus pass... Like I have proper ID now. I’m super nervous but everything should be okay and I’m sure I’ll make new friends in no time. 

Every summer holidays I get a new obsession but this year It’s been Christmas... half cause of Blake and half cause CHRISTMAS! I’ve watched Zoellas Volgmas from 2016 and 2015 as well as watching christmas baking videos and even listened to Arianas Christmas and Chill album. The fact that we are going into Autumn excites me soooo much! 

I talked to Blake about the facebook thing and he said he’d add me later but he still hasn’t added me. I tried to add him again however I’m not able to send a friend request. I told him this over facebook but got no response. Either someone is still on his page he just still doesn’t want me on it. But I still don’t believe he’s doing anything behind my back as for the last week we’ve rung pretty much everyday for a few hours and he’s just so loving towards me. 

But yeah! that’s it for now!.

[blackheartsandcarparts-blog]

My Struggle

My counselors that I’ve had in the last year and a half suggested I should express what I’m feeling in some form. I finally decided to give in and give it a try. I’ll start off with a little back story before I jump straight in.

I’m 22 years old, currently enlisted in the military and battling depression/grief/stress and everything else that comes with it. Almost 4 years ago now my father told me he was diagnosed with cancer. I wasn’t given any information on it, except that he was receiving treatment. At this point in my life I had just graduated boot camp and started my schooling for the military. I was 1000 miles from home and couldn’t do anything. My father, who was also prior military, told me to focus on school instead of him. But how could I? My father, my best friend, the man I looked up to and the man who taught me everything I know was fighting something that could so easily take his life. What could I do? Sit there and feel sorry for myself? Be worried about my dad? No, he wanted me to finish this schooling and so I would do it just for him. In the process of this 6 month school I lost 80% of my class. Not once was I deterred from making my father proud as I followed in his footsteps.

Upon graduating my school I received orders to a base about an hour from home so I could be close by during his treatment. It was not until then that I found out the extent of his diagnosis. He was diagnosed with Blastic Plasmacytoid Cell Dendritic Neoplasm (BPCDN) which is an extremely rare form of Lymphoma with no cure. With how the cancer presents itself, to most doctors who are unaware it seems to be Leukemia. When doctors begin treating for Leukemia, there is no response and time is wasted. Because of how rare it is, there is not much literature or research. After diagnosis most patients who receive treatment and a stem cell transplant will achieve remission for about a year before it returns. This was the case with my father as well. After seeing him suffer through the chemo, the bone marrow biopsies and the pain, I was glad to see him mostly back to his old self. When you have a successful stem cell transplant they refer to it as your “new birthday” and have cake. The process is lengthy but they basically chemo you until you have absolutely no immune system, then give you healthy stem cells from a donor in hopes of the new one being able to fight it off.

During my father’s year long remission gave me memories that I will never forget. I was able to buy my first car on my own. He taught me how to drive stick on it and taught me how to work on it. My father taught me how to appreciate cars and sprouted my love for them. There were so many smiles, so many laughs and so much frustration (if you’ve ever worked on a car you will understand). Not that I didn’t have any great memories from before, but these were different. They were more profound to me, because after my father’s battle he had become himself again. A man I always aspired to be, but someone who he would never see me become. There are many more memories that occurred over this year, but I won’t dig into all of those.

He relapsed in March of 2015 and it was back more aggressive than before. Time in between chemo was shortened as it would return in his bone marrow much quicker. An opportunity arose for him to become part of a drug trial at Duke University, so we quickly jumped on it and headed down to North Carolina. For 6-7 months my father was never within “standards” to begin the trial. One of his blood counts would be slightly too low and it would get delayed. You couldn’t start the trial until there was at least a 2 week break from your last round of chemo. 6-7 long months of hoping and praying to hit the exact specifications of this drug trial and it never happened. Months before the fateful day of my dad passing, we went to an ice cream shop in NC that he had seen on TV. They served ice cream made with habenaros (named “cold sweat”) and another made with either ghost peppers or carolina reapers (called “exit wound”). We drove about 45minutes to get to this shop. He recorded my reaction to “cold sweat” (they wouldn’t let me eat exit wound without eating its predecessor first and I didn’t want to destroy my stomach by compounding it) and laughed as I suffered (it was pretty funny). And just a month before he left us, was my step mom’s birthday. We went to a restaurant called “The Angus Barn” which is voted top 5 steakhouses in the entire US. I ordered the absolute biggest steak they had on the menu, dubbed “The Tomahawk Chop”. It was a 44oz bone-in ribeye and I absolutely devoured it. My dad and step mom were amazed at my feat and we all laughed about it. We all decided to have dessert on top of it all, of course with an after dinner cappuccino. Later that night my father was back to being in terrible pain, barely being able to walk and a completely different person than the man I knew. That night was one of the last times I heard my dad laugh and saw him smile.

The days leading to my father’s last moments are very hard for me to talk about. Being there for it all has imprinted on me and haunts me. He was in so much pain that it took us an hour and a half to move him 20 feet to try and go to the bathroom. No person should have to deal with that. With that amount of pain, with that struggle and frustration. I could see it in his eyes, despite all of the pain management medication. I couldn’t take it and I called an ambulance in hopes the hospital could help him regain strength. (At this point I had already been in North Carolina for about 4-5days helping my step mom so she could relax and get some chores done. I was running low on sleep because I would stay up at night and give him his medication on time. Doing what needed to be done.) We slept at the hospital in the room with him. He was in less pain the next day, but still visibly not himself. They ran some tests and tried to get a handle on what was going on. The day after that I saw my father, not a man who just looked like him. He was there, back to normal and joking around like his old self. He was smiling and lit the room up just as he always had done. There was a small flash of hope, but then a complete and utter downward spiral. Doctors said there was nothing left they could do. Our plan quickly changed to try and get him home so he could be surrounded by family and be AT home. That soon became a non-option as he quickly declined. (This next part will be very hard for me to talk about and I know you can’t tell how long it will take to write, but believe me it is awhile. Having to take frequent breaks to either hold back the tears or letting them go.) The morning of February begins with my Aunt and I driving to the hospital at 7am. We walk into his hospital room with my step mom playing Jack Johnson (one of his favorite artists). He was not responsive and had very erratic breathing. We sat there and talked with him, we knew he could hear us. He had a constant stream of morphine to keep him comfortable. I held his hand to keep him warm. He was progressively getting worse and worse. I called my sister (who hadn’t talked to my father in years) and told her that I needed her to talk with him, the end was near. I put her on speaker and she apologized to him for their fight and being so estranged. I couldn’t let him pass and neither of them ever have closure or have regrets. I knew how much he missed her in his life and how he wished he had a relationship with her. I couldn’t have that weight on my shoulders of them not having closure. My step mom followed suit and called all of his brothers, sisters and his mom. Everyone told them how much they loved him and how strong he was. After we got through the phone calls my step mom got the nurse and told them that it was time. As we sat surrounding him, the nurse delivered a large dose of morphine, which started shutting down his organs. I knelt next to his bed and held his hand. We all told him “Its ok. You can let go now. We love you.” It was the absolute hardest thing I have ever done. How could I tell the person who means more than anything in the world to me that it was ok to go? It wasn’t ok. I couldn’t lose him. Not now. His breathing slowed and he opened his eyes. He looked me straight in my eyes and I could see him thanking me for calling my sister. Telling me how much it meant. Expressing how much he loved us all. Just seconds later I watched him take his finals breaths and he was gone… 10:53 on February 23rd, 2016.

Almost a year has passed now and it isn’t any easier. Everyday is a struggle. I don’t want to get out of bed, I don’t have the motivation to do anything. I probably drink more than I should, but I can’t escape the reality that he is gone. I have had nightmares of his final moments, waking up and I can’t breathe, just as he was no longer able to. I try and remember the good memories and I sometimes can, but his last moments on this planet are forever burned into my mind. I miss him more than anyone could understand. After losing him, I am no longer afraid of death. I welcome it. I welcome the day I am reunited with him and we can go back to normal. I will not seek death, but if it should find me then so be it. The thing that kills me absolutely more than anything in the world is thinking how he will never meet his grandchildren or great grandchildren. I know how excited he would have been and how involved in their lives he would’ve been. And how everyone is now missing out on those memories.

I miss talking to him. I used to call him almost everyday after work and just catch up. Talk cars, football or anything else to keep his mind off treatment.

I am fragmented. I am not the same person I used to be and I never will be. I will never be whole again and that is just a fact. How will I get through it? I don’t know, but I will do my best to document it as things happen.

I am not the only person to go through this, but I hope that I am able to help others with my experiences or even open up conversation between people. I do hope that if you are in a seriously dark place that you would seek help. There is no reason to ever be ashamed for doing so. All you need to do is ask.

[alkepdmarilynnjy61insurance-blog]

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