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#what is this ???? couldnt tell u tbh
dizzybizz · 1 year
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incoherent mumbling and whimpering and sobbing and-
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lovsome · 6 months
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>:(
#i need to vent a little im sorry pls ignore this if u are bothered by my thoughts#SH tw !!!!!!#this morning i was supposed to have my weekly therapy session but i had to cancel bc my mom got covid and obviously stayed home from work#and i do online therapy and i didnt feel comfortable doing it with my mom around but i really needed to do it tbh#and then my professor replied to my email with all of the things ive been working on since august and didnt say anything about the material#he just asked to call me on the phone tomorrow and i started to spiral…. like Spiral with a capital s#even now thinking about it my stomach sinks bc i have this feeling that his feedback is going to be negative and i just know my#barely existent self esteem is going to break and idk what im gonna do with myself then#this afternoon while i was spiraling all i wanted to do was /hurt/ myself. i kept thinking that i wasnt good enough and i had done a#horrible job.. so bad that he couldnt even tell me by email but needed to do it on the phone and i felt like throwing up and i couldnt get#/​that/ thought out of my head and i could only cry#and all of this not even actually knowing what my professors feed back is going to be because this is just all in my head#but i was talking to my school friends and they were like oh its gonna be fine even if he doesnt like it u can still put the project in ur#portfolio hes not even our professor anymore and so on#and i kept saying that i knew that but i just could not handle that sort of feedback and rejection mentally#i was telling them that i knew i would crumble if i got real negative feedback and i was terrified of that and they just couldnt get it and#idk it made me feel really lonely#im a bit calmer now but i feel so depressed#i am really anticipating something that will hurt really bad
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testing-tranquility · 20 days
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Trass.
hi :)
#am I allowed to ask if u want to overwatch duo#sorry im so sorry I genuinely tbh dont expect u to rly answer this BUT I kinda lowkey asked u on discord like a week ago#if it was ok if I like… idk talked to u and wanted ur time like a lil baby#and I see ur on ovw rn#AND IM NOT GONNA ASK bc I don’t…. feel like I have the right to but……….. good luck out there ok and we’ll#if u wanna duo cough cough im here… aha… taah…. sweats and laughs and throws myself off a cliff#anyways. ANYWAYS. sorry sorry. sorry. ok im. im sorry.#hi#I don’t rly know what to say to u but I just#I want… anything.. idk…….. hi#I really really think im so crazy you know#i just#idk anyways alien was sick it was a fun experience w sam btw and im still drunk tee hee. if u couldnt tell#i rly do like those xenomorph critters idk why but I’ve always thought they’re so cool……..#i mean…. acid blood…. they’re so big… BIG TEEF……… very cool……#hhhh…..hhhhi……… <- not sad not desperate aaahahhaahaaaaaahhahhhhaaaahhahahahhahahahahaha#throws myself off a cliff regardless#beeba my beloved#answered#deedis#ew wait I was asking to duo in a tumblr ask here LOL ok sorry I don’t expect u to answer that tbh I rly don’t#I justttttt#idk#idk I just miss u so kuch I hope that’s okay and im sorry#ugh ur prly not even gonna see this I feel so stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid#I mean u prly will but maybe tomo or in quite a few hours or something or#idk I guess that’s okay#idk. idk#anyways… hi I guess
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polaraffect · 7 months
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honestly I kinda love playing tft because whenever someone comes to my board and starts spamming question marks I'm like "dude I don't have a clue either" and it really feels like a bonding moment
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recallback-art · 5 months
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First post of the new year! Thought I should post my first proper drawing of the new year - and so, why not the matching ones?
I usually make one of these doodles for the weeks my friends play DND as a reminder we play that week (though sometimes we have to cancel y'know how it is), and I put special effort into this weeks since it's the new year! My guy is half dragon, tis his year!
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toastsnaffler · 5 months
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prev post reminds me a friend told me last week she doesnt believe i actually struggle with emotional volatility/dysregulation like ive mentioned before bc shes never seen it firsthand...............
#i dont even know what to tell u girl. i couldnt even give her examples to dispute it bc i find it so shameful and difficult to talk abt#and it would probably be upsetting to her to hear the sort of things that have triggered me. and how ive coped with the outbursts#as if i dont structure all social interaction in my life around trying to swallow this shit down so ppl find me just about tolerable enough#genuinely hurtful thing to hear from someone i care abt. im not upset at her anymore abt it bc what would be the point man#i can understand why she thinks that + i cant control what she believes. but it did bother me a lot + some trust has been lost there.#esp considering she struggles w getting ppl to believe her when she talks abt how she feels bc she doesnt necessarily express it outwardly#in ways other ppl expect. like since ik that im always going to try to assume shes being honest so i dont disrespect how she feels#but its hypocritical + more than a little unfair to not offer other people the same trust + respect. why wont u take me at face value#and anyway why the hell would i say i struggle w controlling my emotions if i dont. what clout am i getting from claiming that#even admitting it is a hard thing for me.... and if thats too much for her to accept it just becomes a barrier in our friendship.#shame but i shouldve expected it tbh. anyway its ok ive moved on no point dwelling on it i dont want to bring it up again#bc theres nothing to gain from it. an apology wouldnt change anything since thats what she genuinely thinks#and whatever she wants to believe doesnt change the fact it is True and likely the biggest cause of strife I experience in my life#blegh stopping there bc im edging into rumination now#god im so tired. bedtime soon i think but maybe ill play a quick game or smth to make it to 10pm.... this week has been so long#.diaries
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chisungie · 6 months
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thestamp3d3 · 1 year
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AHHHH interview went well i think???
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roaringheat · 1 year
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Some old lady at work today cursed corporate america cause she couldn't find spanish lavender
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guideaus · 2 years
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THEY BAITED THE BROTHER DYING TWICE IN ONE EPISODE FHDHSJFDKSJ
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lovsome · 8 months
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just gonna vent for a sec please dont mind me
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aita for deceiving a psychiatrist with lies to get diagnosed with a psychological disorder so i could get attendance accommodations at school where it was really nazi strict and evil forced attendance and they would fail me for not going to class EVEN THO I DID EVERYTHING TO THE TOPS?????? Sick fucks tbh. May those “educators” burn in torment💖 i wasn’t allowed to have my anxiety/agoraphobia/aversion/truancy/YOUTHFUN absences excused bc of the fasc policies in place as a standard in our christofascist bluemaga joe biden hillary fucked bernie in the ass dry clinton fake woke coopting bullshit society. so because of their nazi policy i had to find a way to get accommodation bc clearly i couldnt be in class every day in a row and needed leniency, not academo nazi policy, i was like. Fuck it let me get my papers for that accommodations letter approval. Bc like i had already been going to the counselors for stress and general social bullshit So since i wasn’t allowed to use that for accommodation i hd to make sooo many months long appointments w this far af psych and i didnt have a car and what an added stress. They were like “we dont got a car to pick you up like a normal fucking doctors place. Take the bus!” Ok die first. Next fucking help me!!! I did the meds they really sucked bc i guess i didnt need it and it was all side effects, no benefits, and i was like FUCKING DIAGNOSE ME!!! after reading the DSM5 and “practicing whats wrong w me” so that they are like . Hm yeah that sounds bad. Then IN THE END IT WAS A FUCKING PERSONALITY INVENTORY THEY USED TO ASSESS MY ILLNESS. IT WAS A BAR GRAPH. It was bullshit service in the goddamn american healthcare system and then bullshit actual healthcare bc it was fucking fake. Dumb psych couldnt even tell i wasn a liar???? DUMBASS BITCH LOSER FAGGOT CUNT SCUM. I remember how they made me wait AND CHARGED ME WHEN I MISSED AN APP BC IT WAS SO FCKN FAR AND ANOTHER BC I TOOK A NAP. CHARGING UR POOR MENTALLY ILL CUSTOMERS??? They can explode forreal💖and so can the dumb school policy bitches who couldnt just let me get my A had to be like ohhh cant accomodate u even tho u hve a 98 u are gonna fail :/ DIE ON FIRE SCREAMING YOU SCUM BITCH!!!! <-me to that professor nazi. May she be tortured. ANNMYWAY im sorry to everyone who’s gone thru academic ableism and abuse by this bullshit system!!!!! my school ended up being transphobic and zionist so i transfered anyway bc i dont want that bullshit on my titles. I’m glad i got my classes accomodated tho! I only wonder if im legally beholden to that diagnosis or if we can just be like fuck that doctor. Hm. Like i lied 😂 ffbsjfbsjfbjsnfjekfnsjs FREE ATTENDANCEE THOOOOOOOOOO it should be like that always for everyone. Kill every nazi teacher forreal. And kill teachers who dont give free B’s. Fuck your grade curve bitch. Fuck your admin. FUCK IT ALL!!!!! And i know its possible bc ive had actually good teachers. Hmmm the nazis WISH they could hide!!!
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wabblebees · 2 years
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#cw for health/medical talk in the tags!#<- just fyi in case u wanna scroll past. nothing super huge or scary or anything like that#finally went to the doc last week bc my joints have felt like theyre self-destructing for months#and got my xrays + lab results back today#they couldnt see anything on the xrays which is good -- & all the scary-ass shit they were testing for came back negative which is a relief#but according to the nurse on the phone my rheumatoid factor was v high ((didnt say How high but! enough that my doc was surprised.))#so theyre referring me to a specialist ''hopefully within the month'' before i leave for school again.#im. tired#im v glad there was Something in my results at least. smth to point to and go ''ah! thats why i feel like shit''#at least partially anyway#but even with all that gratitude. im fucking tired#i don't have the spoons to do more research on this shit rn but. fuck. ig im really gonna have to bc this isnt going away anytime soon huh#well. glad to have One answer at least#tbh im. fine? like. im kind of just over it atm; its not a huge shock or anything & its not a 'wailing and gnashing of teeth' moment either#my mom had a v strong reaction when i told her -- not strong like bad like didnt believe me or smth; just strong like immediately sorry#not in a pitying way which i appreciate -- just. yeah#bc she reacted so strongly to the news tho i keep trying to decipher what *im* feeling abt it and getting... nothing??#zip zilch nada. zero. error 404 file not found#which is weird bc i can TELL theres *also something else* happening beyond that static. ig ill just have to wait for it to hit me?? maybe??#hm. yeah.#anywayzzz im gonna go take More ibuprofen and pretend my head and joints feel Fine until they actually do#headache who?? never met her#bee speaks
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dorotheado · 3 months
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OK NOW THAT IM ALIVE AND MY BRAIN IS WORKING i want to comment on some things that i noticed at the eras tour that i think are super cool & underrated
stage effects during blank space where she looks like a magazine. all the stage versions doing the same choreo. sooo cool
during lwymmd when the lights in the crowd make a literal spinning cube !!!! what !!!!! how do they do it!!!!!
the way that at the end of the man when she's ascended to the highest level, the entire structure lowers into the stage and everything is just a little more accessible. nice.
the way the trees grow on stage for evermore? thats funky
also the way the torch light in marjorie makes the stadium soooo well lit and suddenly you can see everything? thats crazy
the reputation transition does a LOT for the hype like wow!!! its not just the set its also the transition!!!!
delicate stage has been talked abt many times but its just sooooo good!!!!!!!
the way the speak now set is the best set in the show and enchanted isnt even my fav from speak now.... screaming it in a stadium changed it for me!!!!!
the red set is soooo hyped jaime was right
once again have to say: 'tell him he's dreaming' fixed me!!!!!!! thank u kam!!!!!
during august the fucking light up bracelets make the most gorgeous colours i s2g i tried to film it every time but couldnt get the brightness to work for me hahahhaa
the hand up at the end of tlgad! such cute choreo for that whole song but i love that last little flick hehe
obsessed w bad blood tbh it was soooo fun to sing
mastermind bracelets were sooo fun (also mastermind choreo but that was obvious its just ao good)
its also crazy how much bejeweled grew on me from seeing it live
THE TODDLER WALK IN ANTI HERO IN THE LAST CHORUS WHERE SHE SWINGS HER HANDS!!!!!!!! soooo underrated i love it.
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bigfatbimbo · 25 days
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@hazbinhotelmollykisser
VAGGIE
uh so. i dont have an specific senarios yet HOWEVER
ur absolutely right shes a bottom
ur thing about “soft dom at most” if good too though
i just feel like shed like the other more (or maybe i just wanna see her bottoming idk 🤷🏼 all of my hcs are extremely self indulgent if u couldnt tell)
she cries, not even just because of like pleasure stuff but (assuming your being nice (which you are because im forcing you🔫/j)) because she feels so genuinely cared for??? and tbh from what we’ve seen in the show she does alot of stuff for everyone throughout the day and barely gets thanks for it 😭
i will be delivering more vaggie hcs at later points, i didnt have time to make many because i wasnt thinking abt it until u posted
also vaggie is so underloved shes SO pretty???? literally underrated asf😍😍😍😍😍 women <333
- @hazbinhotelmollykisser
So i’m planning on doing Vaggie headcanons soon because I love her and she does NOT get enough attention, but the way i JUMPED when i saw you leave your thoughts in my inbox 🤭🤭
Anyways, I agree with you. Vaggie is known to well up with tears in bed. Yes, from the pleasure she’s probably not that experienced with (she’s literally from heaven), and on the same wavelength of rarity, your kindness 😕😕
Praising her while you finger her cunt, she’s squirming under you, desperately trying to keep her cool, keep her soldier-like dignity, but it’s just so hard when you’re talking so sweetly. “You feel so nice around my fingers, honey” “So good, taking it so well” “That’s right sweetie, you deserve this after everything you do.”
She’s practically screaming under you, mumbling thank you’s and things in spanish, probably letting a few tears slip out. Also I agree with you WE ARE BEING NICE TO THIS WOMAN. She deserves it, jesus christ.
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kenlvry · 1 year
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angry confessions
c; getting into an argument abt something then saying “why u care” and yhhhh, angry confessions speak for itself, aged up 16-17 kenny kyle and stan
kenny mccormick
kenny wasn’t really fazed when something bloody happened, having died millions of time before, he got used to it. but when he saw you and some girl fighting he almost yelled stop loudly tryna be the main character, he let the fight happened bc he knew you hated it when someone pulls you away from a fight, it made it seem like you lost.
after the fight that you won you were frustrated and walked away home bc school alr ended, kenny ran to you and yelled at you “ what the fuck y/n?? you know how fucking dangerous that was?? you looked so fucked up” he said while holding a first aid kit, you couldnt care less how you look, “ y/n! are you even listening?? y/n” he said and walked infront of you, 
“fuck kenny what?, can i not get into a fight? idgaf how i look, she asked for it” “are you hearing yourself rn?? what if you fractured something?? cmon sit down so i can check” he touched your arm “don’t touch me” you said sternly, he let go and you walked away, he wasn’t going to let you go like that so he grabbed your arm again “omg kenny why the fuck do you care so much?! why do you care if i got into a fight!?” “ because i like you dumbass!” your eyes widen and so does kenny “w-what...” you said “ now let me treat you, cmon” he said checking you hands while blushing ,
after that it got somewhat awkard but you two def act more close than ever
stan marsh
you were hanging out with a boy, not just any other boy but a boy that was known as the most violent kid at school, people said the boy always got into fights, smokes behind the school and disrespects teachers. but there you were talking and laughing with him, it made stans heart twist, after you were done talking to the boy stan went over and talked to you to warn you abt him.
“yo y/n why were you talking to him js now?” you looked at stan then at the boy, “who him?” you looked over to the boy and stan nodded “because... hes my friend? plus i have him for my science partner so we were talking abt when to meet up” you said smiling and walking away “hold on, yk who he is right?? stay away from him, he’s dangerous!” stan said pulling your arm “cmon stan stop over reacting he’s sweet, he even promised to buy me lunch!” you said pulling away from him, “still! im going to talk to mr garrison abt this, i’ll ask so you and me are on the same team” he said and walked away, now youre the one pulling his arm
“the fuck? dont, its none of your business” he was so shocked at how defensive you got over the kid “its too! what if you got hurt,infact i’ll make sure for future projects that requires two people us two are already on one” he tried walking away again, “stan! dont butt in! let me be, hes not as dangerous as people potray him!” you said slightly raising your voice “ i’m not risking it.” he said crossing his arms also raising his voice slightly “ why the fuck do you care??! you never cared before!” you yelled looking angry “because i love you y/n! bc i care for you! how have you not realize it by now geez!” he yelled back, you sat there shocked with a slight tint of pink on your cheeks he coughed a little breaking the tension “ now cmon, you wanna change partners or not” he looked away refusing to make eye contact, you nodded. 
the whole time you two were working on the project you two blushed and smiled literally acted like you two never met
kyle broflovski
although you looked like a very untroubled person, you also had problems you wished would go away. so often times you and some other kids would smoke at the back of the school before school starts, its a way for you to release stress before school starts.
everyone kinda knew, the way you smelt when school starts it was too obvious,not to kyle i guess.. people didnt tell him bc they thought he knew! you thought he knew too tbh, but he thought it was from your dad or someone in your family, he believes your not one to get into that shit
school started and you scrapped your cig bud on the wall and threw it in a bin that was prepared by one the kid who smoked, as much as he smoked he cared for the environment too yk even though he's literally ruining it by smoking .when you came in the smell was strong, kenny smiled knowing what you did before school "smells strong y/n, things got tough huh?" he smiled while laughing a little "atp y/ns lung is gonna be all black like her heart" cartman added "is your dad okay y/n? he shouldn't smoke infront of his kids" kyle tried chiming in which made all five of you stop in your tracks. you looked at each other in confusion
"kyle, y/n dad isnt even alive" and kyle eyes was widen, he never asked bc he thought your dad was messed up and didn't wanna triger you. "wait then why does y/n smell like smoke" "bc she the one that smokes dumbass" kyles eye widen even more. with a little brother who used to vape and a bestfriend who drinked he was scared you'd be addicted too so he asked to talk to you separately.
"the fuck y/n?? smoking is so bad for you, you have to stop right now!" kyle got mad "ugh its none of your business,you literally used to smoke and how come you've only find out now?" you said rolling your eyes "thats not important! that shit can fuck up your lungs," "okay dad" you laughed a little and he got mad, he reach for your pockets and took away the packet of cigarettes you had "what the fuck kyle give them back, a teachers gonna see!" "no! not until you say you're gonna quit and start going to school with us from now on" he held the packet of cigarette high so you couldn't reach em
"why do you care?! why do you care if my lungs go all black and fade away? thats my problem!" "because i like you!" he said bringing the pack down and sighed "i like you y/n and I'm scared i might loose you so please, stop doing this" you blushed at the sudden confession
you didn't entirely quit, it was hard quitting something you always did as a routine so kyle would allow you only two times a week and gradually move from there<3
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