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#what were his thoughts about riko?
kiwiaok · 8 months
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nora is literally insane for making me crazy about a character that has like two scenes in the entire trilogy
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nyan-bynary · 2 months
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As cute as satosugu is, it's SO important to me that no matter how much they loved each other (romantically or platonically idrc to argue w/ ppl) they did NOT tell each other. That they lost their chance bc they were young and strong and full of hope and they thought they had all the time in the world to tell the other how they felt, y'know, like how teenagers are supposed to feel about life. But they couldn't be together, they couldn't have each other's company the way they really wanted. Their youths were forcefully taken away from them their emotions that they were still not fully settled on forced out of their hands because they had bigger more grave things to worry about now. It's so important to me that they were always doomed no matter what.
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gojonanami · 9 months
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"JUST A LITTLE LONGER" - SATORU GOJO
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✴︎ summary: after geto defects, you find yourself on a roof of a building wondering where things went wrong - and you're not the only one. based off another scene from apothecary diaries. ✴︎ contents: gojo x f!reader, fluff, angst about geto, gojo cries, reader does too a little, but cuddling from behind, i love this scene so much it's so cute, and jinshi is so gojo coded ✴︎ wc: 821
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This was probably a stupid idea. 
And it was, you knew that, but it didn’t stop you from doing it anyway. A cursed spirit could kill you any day, so what was falling off a roof? Besides, you took another shot of sake, you couldn’t quite bring yourself to care about the possible chance of falling to your death after today. 
Suguru was gone. 
Defected, after slaughtering so many people — or monkeys as he called them now. There was no changing his mind — no going back. Suguru was a person of conviction — you supposed he still was. Shoko simply went with the flow, Satoru knew what his duties were, and you — you didn’t know what you were doing, but you thought maybe it was enough if you could help just one person every day. Especially if that person was one of your friends. 
And yet you didn’t see one of your friends needing your help, did you? 
So why were you sitting up on the roof of one of Jujutsu Tech’s buildings? You didn’t know either — you had a whole suite of aloneness you could have drank in, but you choose to take a shot in the same place that you, Suguru, Shoko, and Satoru drank in on late nights between assignments. 
Shoko would tease you — too sentimental for your own good — that’s what she always told you, but you couldn’t help it. Not after a night like this. But sitting up here wouldn’t resolve anything would it? 
And you began to carefully climb down, thinking about how much easier it was when Suguru used a cursed spirit to help you up (even when he really wasn’t supposed to summon them on campus). Fuck, your eyes burn with tears. You missed him— 
Your foot slips, as you fall backwards, into the awaiting arms — more like the awaiting body of someone below. You hear a grunt as you tumble backwards into them, your body and mind in shock, wondering what person you possibly murdered with your stupidity. 
“Satoru? What are you doing here?” 
“I should be asking you that,” Satoru grumbled at you as you turned to face him, “y'know when I joked that you would be falling for me, this isn’t what I meant,” 
“Oh really? Because this is exactly what I had in mind,” you snort, and you move to get up, but he’s pulling you back with a hand around your wrist, “Toru, let me get off of you—” 
“No, it’s cold,” he pouts, and now you really take a look at him — he wasn’t wearing his glasses for once, his hair unkempt at best, and his uniform all too disheveled — and his face, porcelain skin flushed red — and the faint smell of—was that— “are you drunk?” Satoru wasn't one to drink, but you supposed it wasn't for the act of it as it was the effect.
And it may have been the moonlight, but you swore he flushed further, before he’s forcing you to turn back around, pulling you further into his lap, his arms around your middle, “Maybe,” he mumbles, “I could say the same to you,” and you spot the bottle of sake on the ground in the grass, somehow not broken, “reminiscing about old times?” he pressed his forehead against your shoulder. 
“Yeah,” you sigh, teeth baring down on your bottom lip, as his breath warmed your neck, his hair tickling your skin as he leaned closer, “when did it go wrong?” 
“More like when did i go wrong?” he mutters, words all too bitter, “I should have seen it — I should have done more—” 
“No one saw it, we didn’t realize how bad it had gotten for him since Riko,” you whispered, “none of us—” 
“You weren’t his best friend—” 
“Me and Shoko were there too,” you cut him off, “we were there too,” you say quietly, “either way, Suguru made his choices, just as we did. And there’s nothing more we can do, except for what we can do here,” and then you add, “and it isn’t your fault.” 
“Why not?” 
“Because i said so,” and he laughs then, a genuine laugh. 
“Yes, ma’am,” he replies, before burying his face in the nape of your neck, his nose tickling you, and despite the cool air of the approaching fall, your body was now burning. 
“Toru—you’re tickling me—” and he’s only pulling you closer, as you finally glance back at him, “Toru—” and your words fall away, as you see a tear slip down his cheek, his eyes shut. 
“Just a little longer,” he says, barely above a whisper, his face pressed against your shoulder again, as his arms tighten around your middle, “warm me up for a little bit more,” 
You stare up at the night sky, stars dotting the night sky — such a beautiful night despite it all — as you finally let your tears slip down your cheeks silently, “I’ll stay as long as you want.” 
And you did, forever. 
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✴︎ a/n: i hope this doesn't flop like my other fics lately, but oh well lol. i wrote this quick little thing now, so forgive any typos.
✴︎ taglist: @forest-hashira, @anondrive, @neon-crow, @forest-fruits-jam, @yukuriku, @lxvegojo
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luminiamore · 4 months
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WORSHIP.
cult leader geto x black jujustu sorcerer reader
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a/n: based on that lil snippet ^
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warnings: heavy exhibitionism, cockwarming, he’s such a gentle man, mentions of suicide, joker and harley type beat without the domestic violence, hints of yandere, ya’ll worship each other and therefore people worship you, married asf with kids, creampie
2.1k words.
masterlist
Suguru’s interest in you has been unusually intense since he was a student at Jujustu Tech. Without a doubt, you were beautiful. But unlike those around him, you were also quiet, calm, and collected. His approach to you was pure curiosity, without any malice. He was curious about you, your thoughts, and your mannerisms. 
However, you rarely paid him any mind, thinking he was just trying to increase the number of girls he sleeps with. So, he made it possible for him to coincidentally be everywhere you were; you surely couldn’t ignore him that way. 
You were getting some mochi downtown? That’s crazy. He was just picking up some for his best friend at the same spot. He did tell you he really likes sweets. You were shopping for a new pair of shoes at the mall? Realizing his pair is worn out, he’s checking out the section opposite yours. He was there to end your fight when you got tossed around by some special grade, so you couldn’t even go on a mission by yourself. He was impossible to ignore.
He couldn’t understand exactly what it was, but he wanted to be around you more than he cared to admit. Despite you being a first-grade sorcerer, he would use the excuse of “protecting” you. His group, Shoko, Utahime, or even the proclaimed strongest, Gojo Satoru, weren’t close to you. Until he defected, he deliberately kept you away from them. They only knew you as the girl he loves— his words.
You eventually fell for Suguru, and you fell hard. He didn’t catch you, but he fell with you, for you. Suguru made it a point to call you whenever possible, even though you were not part of the Riko mission. Upon his return, you felt devastated as he was distressed by the possibility of losing his best friend. Distressed at the possibility of not seeing you again. That frightened him the most. You witnessed him losing himself, having sleepless nights, and even attempting to end his life. You were always there for him, fixing him tea and listening to his ideas.
Being with Suguru was something you became open to, and with the way you were always around him, everyone thought you were. He never put a title on.. whatever the nature of your relationship was. But you never really saw him with any other girl except for you, and he would take care of any sorcerer who tried to get close to you. At some point, you recall asking him why he does it, and the only response he gave you was,
“You have me.”
You didn’t bother to ask what that meant, thinking that he would give you another cryptic answer or simply send you a sleazy smile. But in more ways than one, you realized that you did have Suguru. He was a person who provided. He never missed an opportunity to care for you, buy you your favorite things unexpectedly, take you out for dinner, and even carry you like a princess just because. 
You never inquired about the reason; you just offered him a kiss on the cheek as a gesture of thanks. Suguru liked it when you did that. Your soft, glossy lips always had a nice feel on his skin. The basis of your relationship changed when he asked you to kiss him on the lips as a thank you instead.
“R-Really?”
His ears are pierced by your soft voice. Your beautiful eyes were always on him as he sat on the flatbed in your dorm. You had the box in your hands of the necklace that you had been admiring while you and Suguru were passing by a jewelry store. The price tag was a whopping $6,000, so it wasn’t cheap. That’s why you walked away after staring for about ten seconds. He didn’t, though. The next morning, he made a single phone call, and the necklace you were eyeing made its way to your doorstep that same day.
“Really.” He grasps your gentle hands with both of his hands, dropping the box carelessly on your bed. 
“I never want to force you to do anything.” You had a genuine belief that you would follow Suguru to the end of the earth. You were steadfast in your devotion to him, even before he became a cult leader. You have reason to believe that you were his first devotee. Your love for him was undeniable, which is why you didn’t hesitate to bring his lips to yours for a gentle peck.
Suguru didn’t anticipate the sweetness of your lips on that day, nor did he anticipate how he would crave the sensation of them every second. He was unaware of how addictive you could be because, honestly, you two didn’t stop at just a peck. One turned into two, two turned into five, and five turned into an impromptu make-out session on your mattress.
It was the first night that he showed you pleasure beneath the layers of your clothes. The first night, he showed you exactly what you do to him. The long-haired man showed you ecstasy that was unmatched by any other. Before anything else, he prepared you by slobbering all over your pink clit and fingering you so hard, so deep, that you squirted at least three times on his awaiting face.
And when he finally forced his dick inside your wet hole... It was like a paradise on earth, you swear. You could feel every vein of his cock brushing against the deepest parts of your core. He reaches so deep, his cock basically drilling into your bruised cervix. His drooling lips sucking at your perfectly manicured french tipped toes. Every time he fucked you, which was almost every day, it was like this. They all carried out the same action, whether it was a slow thrust or a quick, desperate one. 
He’s grown addicted to the feel of your cunt, to the faces you make when he’s fucking you. Suguru has tainted you and transformed you into a being who would do anything for him. He never forgot to express that you did the same for him. The day he killed his parents, he came to you with two little girls, scared shitless and clinging onto his kāṣāya garment over the black yukata robes. And when you asked him what happened, he only told you, 
“These are our children now. Don’t worry, we will have one of our own soon. I promise, my love.”
You knew about Suguru’s plans to eradicate almost 95% of the world’s population, but you didn’t think he would actually go through with it. You should have left and probably ran away from this man when he showed you what he did. But you couldn’t, too devoted and blinded by love. So, you followed him and watched him create an operation where people worshipped his entire being. That’s what should have been the case.
Suguru was never without you. He made his followers kiss the ground you walked on, just as they worshiped him. You were given respect, love, and even admiration. For almost ten years, your life consisted of being taken care of by your lover, being devoted to humans, and taking care of your four children. Suguru did end up giving you the children he promised you. He was content with his life as it was, and honestly, he wouldn’t have wanted it any other way. His happiness was made possible by you.
Take today as an example, it marks the anniversary of Suguru putting a shiny blood diamond on your finger. The temple’s blue curtains are being blown by the wind while the birds chirp. Your bare body rested on Suguru’s lap, facing forward. His cock impaled you while you were sitting on him, creating a stream of pussy juice that dripped onto the floor. Your soft thighs were spread wide over his legs, restricting you from any movement. Such an intimate position should undoubtedly be shared only by the two, but it wasn’t. 
Far from it, in fact. There were 20– maybe 50 people kneeling with gifts in their hands, in front of your lover, in front of you. You were too consumed to pay attention to them, too full to do anything but whine out beautiful cries that echoed around the whole compound. It was impossible for anyone to not know what was happening. 
For some time now, he’s been laying his cock inside of you and refusing to move. Suguru’s view was of your sparkling back, soft, and with a tattoo of his name if he shifted his gaze slightly lower. He didn’t have to see you to know how beautiful you look right now, and of course, he didn’t have an issue telling you.
“Such a gorgeous girl. Gets you wet knowing these people would die to fuck you, doesn’t it?” He squeezes your fat tits, pinching one of your nipples, causing you to let out a squeal. He continues on with a raspy voice,
“But they can’t, can they? And they never will. Why is that, sweetheart?”
You whine, grasping at his thighs because you just want him to move. The pressure of his fat cock inside you makes you desperate for the intense fucking that only he can give you. But your man doesn’t want that as an answer, he wants to hear your angelic voice, so he slaps your clit as punishment. 
“B-Because m’yours!” It seems you said the right answer, or maybe Suguru was finally getting as desperate as you are because he slowly starts moving his dick in and out of your tight cunt. He takes his time moving his hand so that the next visitor can come forward and present their gifts. Just to keep up with his image. He doesn’t bother looking at them, believing that anything that’s not from you is a waste. Utter trash.
He kisses the side of your cheek and whispers in your ear, tone desperate and pleading, “All mine. Tell me you love me, and only me. Please, I need to hear it.”
He paces himself slowly inside of you to avoid ruining you in front of these ’ monkeys.’ You lean your head back against his neck, your nails tugging at the hair you love so much. His throat tightens with a groan when at the action, fuck. You really don’t know what you do to him. 
Despite being pushed a little past your limit, you manage to steady your voice so Suguru can hear your following words clearly, “Love you, baby. I’ll only ever love you.”
Regardless of how many times you tell him this, it always manages to make Suguru’s heart race. He can’t believe you’re all his. Such a goddess that you are. Fuck, he could cum right here, right now, inside your dripping cunt. Since he flushed out your birth control after your first pregnancy, you wouldn’t need much to get pregnant. His brain is racing with the prospect of your tits swelling with milk and your belly rounding to carry his offspring.
He groans when the image runs through his mind, and now Suguru has a new mission. “What about another baby, hm? I’ll take care of you, just like I did the last two times. Won’t have you lift a finger, sweetheart. Please.”
His pace speeds up a bit, and the thought of seeing you like that is causing his mind to reel. Your tight pussy squeezing around him was as if you were attempting to milk his cock for all it’s worth. On the other hand, you were anticipating your lover would say something like this. You were nodding your head in his shoulder before he finished his sentence.
“P-Please! Whatever- Anything you w-want.” You tremble, completely ignoring the people still kneeling in front of you. Close enough to see, but just far enough so your juices won’t reach them. They are not worthy of any inch— any spec of your sweet wetness. You hear Suguru’s whimper as his finger sneakily reaches your swollen clit, gently rubbing tight circles around it. 
“That’s what I love to hear, baby. I love you so fucking much, so fucking much. I love you, I love you-” You moan out, your pussy squeezing infinitely tighter around him as you squirt all over the empty space between you and your devotees. The feeling causes Suguru to release a deep moan as his balls churn and his thick cum pushes past your womb. Fuck, it’s so much. There’s no doubt that it reached your uterus. 
Your lover isn’t convinced, though, so he immediately stands holding you in a bridal position. He walks past the crowd, leaving them there while his cock and cum are still out and dripping from your sore pussy.
“Think I need to pump you full again. Make sure you really get pregnant, yeah?” The only thing you can do is nod and mentally prepare yourself for the night ahead of you.
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bliss-in-the-void · 11 months
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No bc Satoru has this whole hallucination-dream-limbo sequence where he’s talking to Suguru about how he wanted to give Sukuna his all to get through to him and show him how he understood his loneliness only to have Suguru go “…you’re making me jealous.”
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As an author, what Gege did here is genius because that is such a loaded statement to make in response to Satoru processing his fight with Sukuna. It can mean so many different things and we, the audience, are free to interpret exactly how Suguru meant it.
On one hand, you can say he said he was jealous because he wanted to be the one Satoru fought with all his might. He wanted to be as strong as Satoru, to match him in prowess, and hearing that Sukuna was the one to do it instead made him jealous.
On the other hand, you can say that he said he was jealous because Satoru recognized that Sukuna was lonely and wanted to get through to him, something that he was too late to recognize in Suguru when he was descending into madness, and that in turn made Suguru jealous because it was as if Satoru was saying “I recognized the loneliness in him and wanted to do something about it” when he failed to do that same thing with Suguru.
I personally interpret it the second way more (the first one is very valid, but I just see things the second way), because of the next lines.
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He made Suguru cry. While laughing. Once again, holy shit is that such a loaded scene. What did Suguru’s tears mean? We have never seen him cry before. Not when Riko died, not at any point when he was losing his mind, not even when he died by Satoru’s hand. So why, when Satoru said he wished Suguru was there to wish him luck before he fought, did he finally get brought to such strong emotion that he cried?
Was it because he was happy to hear that Satoru still thought of him, even in his final moments?
Was it because after all these years, Satoru never thought ill of him and pictured him there beside him, and he was relieved?
Was it because he regretted making the choices he did that led to him not being there by Satoru’s side?
Or, in a very indirect way, was it an admission of love from Satoru that made Suguru happy?
I wonder that, because of these panels from Chapter 238:
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Kashimo asked Sukuna, “if you’re so satisfied being alone, why did you refuse to die and turn yourself into cursed fingers?”
Sukuna’s response is, “Love is worthless. I’ve never needed anyone to satisfy me.”
Which is a directly opposing statement to the one that Satoru had just made to Suguru.
Sukuna: I only have to worry about myself and I get to do as I please. I am satisfied by myself. I don’t need love.
Satoru: I worried about everyone else my entire life and I was controlled by the society. I was not satisfied, but I would have been if you had been there with me, Suguru.
That. Is. Powerful. Those panels imply that love is what made Satoru weak. He did not feel complete because he didn’t have Suguru. He had all of the power in the world, he had status, he had students that depended on him, other friends even, and he still was not satisfied because Suguru wasn’t there.
Sukuna on the other hand recognized how detrimental love was because of what it did to people, how it made them weak, and he decided he didn’t need it.
Those panels were such an indirect-direct conversation between Satoru and Suguru.
Essentially, they were saying:
Suguru: You fought with all of your might and I wish that you recognized my loneliness so that I could have been there with you
Satoru: I was at the peak of my power and I had the weight of the world on my shoulders, and I was allowed to go all-out to fight yet I just wanted you to be there with me
It’s just. Ugh. They’re saying they want each other in the most infuriatingly roundabout way.
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chosai · 4 months
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miss communication.
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synopsis. just as you were beginning to believe that you were simply incapable of finding love, fate had other plans for you in the form of an app called heartchat.
pairing. gojo satoru x fem!reader genre. s2l + office au tags. 18+ content mdni! quick paced, phone sex, public sex, cunnilingus, rough sex, overstimulation, annoying ex word count. 14.6k
sora's note. a repost from my old writing blog! def one of my longer works so far (and one of my favs)! also note that this is also inspired from the manwha "superstitious nine".
© chosai — do not copy, modify, or translate any of my works.
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THROUGHOUT YOUR TWENTY SEVEN YEARS of living, it was fair to say that you had little to no luck with men, although it was something that you’ve long grown accustomed to, or at least, tried to. Usually, it would’ve been easy to shrug off your misfortunes by telling yourself that you’d only be saving yourself from further disappointment, but nowadays, it’s gotten harder to ignore the vexatious turmoil steadily building up within your chest while you watch all your friends, one by one, get their happy ending and starting their families with their first love. You’d only gotten into three relationships, however none of them turned out successful – your first one being in your last year of highschool and your second being in your first year of college – none of which lasted more than a few months and kiss on the lips was the furthest thing you’d gotten. However, if your first two relationships disappointed you, then your third one would be a complete understatement. 
Zen’in Naoya was a man of many facades, and you were a fool to believe that there’d be good in any of them. 
Zen’in Naoya, heir of the ZEN corporate, also known as the general manager of your silly office job, was popular amongst the ladies for his good looks and charisma. The mere mention of his name gave a sour taste on your tongue. If you could describe this man in one single word, it would be suffocating. Beneath that charismatic exterior of his was a serpent ready to pounce on his prey when it was the time he deemed as fit.
In your pathetic, desperate attempt to chase after the love that you yearned for, you believed that he loved you. You believed that he loved you despite keeping your relationship a secret, his excuse being that he couldn’t allow himself to be seen romantically with a commoner. You believed that he still loved you when he’d act as if you were invisible as he entertained the other female workers. You believed that he still loved you when he’d sneak jealous glances towards you while you spoke with your other male coworkers. You believed his sweet, empty lies and you always ate them all up as if they were candy. Being with him felt suffocating – the mere idea of being kept as his secret lover, his toy – it was too much for you to bear, wishing for something more with someone who’d easily toss you to the side after playing with your emotions. 
A damned fool, that’s what you were. If present you could smack past you, you would’ve and made sure that it left a warm, red print on it, too.
It was about time that you ended things with the Zen’in heir, after being involved with the snake for six months. If someone were to ask you why you hadn’t left earlier, you wouldn’t be able to tell them – not that anyone would ask anyways, your relationship with that man was something that you’d keep to your grave, entertaining him for half a year straight was already too humiliating to bear. 
You shook your head rapidly as if it could swat those inappropriate and intrusive thoughts away from your mind. ‘It’s wrong to be thinking about these damn things during your best friend’s wedding, get a grip of yourself!’ 
Your fingers danced around the empty wine glass, your other palm resting on the sides of your cheeks as your gaze surveyed the reception hall. The music was blaring and you could make out the sight of your best friend, Riko, having the best time of her life dancing with her newly wedded husband. You cracked a small smile at the sight. She looked absolutely beautiful in the gown, and she definitely shone the brightest in the room. She glanced over to you, smiling widely as she blew multiple kisses and hearts your way and you laughed at Riko's adorable burst of energy.
You returned your attention to your empty wine glass, silently contemplating whether or not you should get a third glass.
“Y/N, babe, what are you doing out here drinking alone?” Ren, one of the bridesmaids – and one of your childhood friends, chimed in. You jumped a little at her sudden appearance, and then you followed with a light giggle. “It’s been a while since I drank something, I was honestly craving for some wine.”
“Is it just cravings?” She questioned, leaning towards you with her palm propped against her cheek and she stared at you intently. “You usually don’t enjoy drinking alone when you’re bothered about something. You know you can tell me anything, right?” 
“Am I that easy to read?” You complained jokingly.
Ren rolled her eyes at your response before grinning. “Yes. Now spill.”
“I recently ended things with someone,” you said, keeping it fairly vague. “I just wish I did it sooner, you know? Instead of making a fool out of myself…”
Right after you said that, you could tell that she wanted to know who the mystery man was but she relented. For a minute she stayed silent, and it seemed like she was trying to formulate the right words in her brain and 50 different combinations. 
“He already sounds like a pretty shitty guy,” Ren muttered under her breath before glancing back up at you with curious eyes, “I hope you don’t mind me asking, but what do you plan on doing next? Like, do you plan on being sad forever or…?”
“Being sad forever sounds good enough to me,” you joked, only to receive a light smack on the shoulder. 
“Bad!” Ren laughed before pausing once more. “Anyways, I was just about to ask you if you were okay with trying something new. I think it could, you know, be entertaining for you.”
“New? And what do you mean entertaining—?”
“—Give me your phone, and I’ll show you!”
You were getting curious now. Raising a brow, you handed her your phone and she snatched it away from your grasp while cackling evilly. Minutes later, she handed you your phone and all that you could make out is a bright pink background and a heart in the middle. HeartChat, it reads. “What’s this supposed to be?” You questioned your friend.
“It’s something fun,” she replied, laughing giddily. “After work, when you get home, have some beer – and once you feel yourself getting drunk, use the app that I downloaded before you go to bed. Got it?”
“This looks a lot like tinder,” you remarked, not looking very convinced with your friend’s words. You weren’t the type to use dating apps, after all. 
“I promise you, you’ll be far more entertained.” Ren winked. 
The blaring sound of your alarm resonated across the room, and you emitted a heavy, gruff sigh. Seven o’clock, it reads on your bright phone screen. You continued to stare at the screen for a couple more seconds, your body feeling lethargic and overall heavy from fatigue. You shouldn’t have left the reception so late. Groaning in disdain, you forced yourself up from the comfort of your bed and began your morning routine. It was around seven forty five when you finished, and with quick fingers, you grabbed your work ID, wallet and keys and shoved them into your bag before rushing outside your apartment. The walk to the nearest bus stop should take around four minutes, you thought to yourself. 
Myriads of thoughts slipped in your mind as you walked closer to your bus stop, ready to consume you whole. You hadn’t seen Naoya for a week already since the day you left him, and needless to say that week had been one of the most peaceful weeks you’ve ever had since stepping foot in that workplace. 
Sighing, you sat down on the bench and fixed the hem of your pencil skirt. Glancing at the time on your phone, seven-fifty, it read. The bus should be arriving very soon. 
It was eight-ten when you arrived at work, and you rushed across the building — making a beeline towards the elevator.
Just as the elevator was about to close, a hand peeks out through the gaps, thus the elevator opening and it took all your self-control to stop yourself from scowling. 
“It’s been a while,” Naoya walked in, feigning a smile. “It’s been a week, Mr. Zen’in.” you returned the smile. 
The elevator closes, leaving you confined with the man you desperately wanted to avoid. He turns his head slightly to face you, his eyes boring into yours. There was an uncomfortable tension lingering in the thick air. It seemed like he had many things to say to you but he relented, and you’d rather he keep it that way.
You looked away from the man, grabbing your phone in your bag. You pretended to scroll through your phone to pass the time. 
After what it seemed like an eternity, the door to your floor opened and you rushed to your desk.
 The Zen’in heir followed suit, heading towards his office. You could hear the whispers from your colleagues, theorizing as to where he might’ve gone in the previous week. You continued to set up your desk. You could honestly care less about the man’s business, though. 
The rest of the morning was spent with you answering phone calls, typing, printing out papers, organizing files – the usual, might you add. Occasionally you’d stare at Ren’s empty desk and silently make wishes that she’d just appear – you already knew that she was probably having the time of her life sleeping in on her day off. 
It was already time for your lunch break, if it weren’t for your two coworkers practically dragging you out of your desk you would’ve actually continued working until evening. 
“Y/N, you gonna join us for dinner and drinks next weekend?” Your coworker, Haruto, questioned. You chewed on your lunch silently, thinking of an answer while he and Hirumi.  waited with an eager expression. “I’m down,” you replied before teasing your friend, “is it going to be on you?”
“You wish,” Haruto rolled his eyes before taking a bite out of the onigiri he bought from the cafeteria, “boss said that everything’s going to be on him.”
You paused briefly. “That’s a first.”
“Right? This is the first time he’s actually gone out to join us for dinner. All it took was for Emi to invite him and he actually agreed.” Himari added. 
A part of you wanted to turn around and tell them that you had plans, but a part of you already knew that there really was no point avoiding Zen’in Naoya. He was your boss after all, and as long as he didn’t give you a hard time at work, you were content. You were sure that even after you ended your questionable relationship with him, he’d still act indifferent. It was already a given that his status and reputation were the two most important things to him, so you convinced yourself that acting as if nothing had happened was the best possible solution.
“Hi,” a sudden voice caught your attention and you quickly glanced up from your meal to meet gazes with Emi, your new colleague. You remembered when she was first introduced, she was immediately loved by everyone due to her kind and bubbly nature despite the young woman being a little clumsy at her job. She appeared shy in front of your presence and she gave you a soft smile. “Can I join you guys?”
“Yes, yes! Come sit with us!” Haruto replied, almost immediately and almost too enthusiastically. Emi took a seat next to him and she exchanged polite greetings with everyone. 
“Emi, just curious, how did you manage to bring Mr. Zen’in along? This is actually the first time he’s ever agreed to come join us for dinner and drinks.” Himari asked almost immediately and Emi’s cheeks were flushed a pale pink, surprised at her sudden question. You almost felt bad for Emi, watching her immediately getting put on the spot by your friend. Himari had always been the curious and nosy type, always needing some fresh gossip or anything to satiate her curiosity. 
“I didn’t know about that,” she replied, laughing shyly before locking eyes with yours. “When I asked him while we were getting coffee, he agreed immediately. But now that Himari told me that, I’m just as surprised.”
“Also,” Emi said, “Y/N, are you going to come too?”
You nodded your head in response while you took a small sip from your water bottle. 
“That’s great!” She clasped her hands together. “This would be both Y/N and Mr. Zen'in’s first time joining for dinner and drinks, then!”
You raised a brow at this. The way she put so much emphasis on you and your boss seemed a little uncanny – and you weren’t going to ignore the way she looked at you when she talked about him, either. You waved it off, though. Perhaps you were overthinking things and still felt somewhat cautious around the topic of your ex — if it was even right to be considered one, as embarrassing as that sounded.
After all, she was the flower of the office. 
“Yeah, our Y/N’s been too much of a hard worker.” Haruto added before turning over to you, too. “I’m even surprised that you agreed. Imagine if you didn’t go – that would’ve been the third time this year.” 
“She is someone that I look up to a lot,” Emi said briefly, giving you a soft smile. Not long after, she excused herself from the table. You silently watched her figure disappear the farther she walked. You glanced at the time on your phone and you sighed softly, you were going to have to return soon. 
It was nearing seven in the evening when you arrived back at your apartment, immediately plopping down onto your couch and grabbing your phone. For several minutes, you boredly scrolled through your phone before you suddenly remembered what Ren had told you last night: “After work, when you get home, have some beer – and once you feel yourself getting drunk, use the app that I downloaded before you go to bed. Got it?”
After changing into your pajamas and bringing your can of beer with some pork cutlet along with some dessert, you plopped back down on the couch. Opening the app on the phone, you raised your brows at your phone being bombarded with pink hearts before revealing the introduction page.
˚ʚ♡ɞ˚WELCOME TO HEARTCHAT˚ʚ♡ɞ˚  if you're looking for a little bit of spice, you have come to the right place!  before proceeding with the app, please confirm your age and date of birth: [date]/[month]/[year]
You followed the instructions, and surprisingly, that was all it took for you finish making your profile — if it was even considered to be one. There was no name, no profile picture, or no biography asked. "Interesting," you muttered to yourself as you explored the app.
Not even a minute later, your phone pinged.
M 0524454: you married? proceed to chatroom? yes | no
Not even a hello? You decided to ignore the message, taking another sip out of the beer can. You turned the television on, watching a drama that Hirumi once recommended you while you ate your pork cutlet bowl. It wasn't until nearly twenty minutes that you received another text, and this time you could only stare at your screen in pure confusion and disbelief.
M 0497205: ntmy, hoay proceed to chat room? yes | no
"What the hell do those even mean?" You mumbled to yourself, staring at the screen with heavy eyelids as you declined the person's request. Looking at all those abbreviations were about to give you one hell of a headache, combined with the beer.
M 0529485: age? proceed to chatroom? yes | no
"Entertaining, my ass." You muttered as you pressed your cool palms against your flushed cheeks, swiftly declining the person's request to chat. At this point, you were beginning to question why Ren downloaded this app on your phone in the first place. There was nothing entertaining except for the confusing text abbreviations appearing on the screen.
Just as you were about to close the app and call it a night, your phone pinged once more.
M 0337411: Hello. proceed to chatroom? yes | no
'He speaks normally,' you thought to yourself, your finger hovering over the 'yes' option. 'If this person's not any good, I'll delete the app.'
F 0236113: Hello. M 0337411: Have you eaten dinner, yet?
'Oh, he's polite and formal too!' You grinned, and you got yourself more comfortable on the couch -- laying on your stomach as your feet dangled in the air. You took a bite out of your kikufuku, munching happily as you texted the stranger.
F 0236113: I just had some pork cutlet. What about you? M 0337411: That's funny. I also had pork cutlet for dinner. M 0337411: I'm eating kikufuku right now for dessert. F 0236113: No way. That's crazy because I'm also eating kikufuku. M 0337411: Imagine if we have the same flavour too F 0236113: Okay in three seconds we'll tell each other the flavour of our kikufuku F 0236113: Zunda and cream  M 0337411: Zunda and cream M 0337411: It appears we have something in common.
You giggled a little, feeling your cheeks flush even more, unknowing if it was from the beer or from the excitement of clicking so quickly with a stranger -- or both. 
F 0236113: Can I ask you something then? F 0236113: Which do you prefer: shoyu or tonkotsu ramen? M 0337411: Tonkotsu. F 0236113: I prefer tonkotsu, too. F 0236113: I promise i'm not copying you. M 0337411: Let me make sure. M 0337411: Do you like dorayaki or warabi mochi? F 0236113: Warabi mochi. Especially with the syrup! M 0337411: Ah, me too. The syrup makes everything better. M 0337411: I wasn't trying to copy you either. F 0236113: Would you consider yourself to be a sweets type of person? M 0337411: I'd consider myself one, yes. I mostly eat sweets because they stimulate my brain.  F 0236113: I think sweets also gives me the same effects. They help especially when I’m working late. M 0337411: You sure you're not copying me this time? F 0236113: I'm not!!  M 0337411: Hard boiled egg or soft boiled egg? F 0236113: Soft boiled  M 0337411: Soft boiled F 0236113: Hot soba vs cold soba? M 0337411: Cold F 0236113: Cold!
You kicked your legs in the air, giggling. Who could've expected that you'd have so many things in common with a stranger. You continued to text the stranger for what it seemed like an hour, or two. Any remnants of fatigue from work had evaporated like water.
F 0236113: What else do you like?  M 0337411: Can I say something a little strange then?  F 0236113: Sure, what is it? The stranger didn't text right away, this time. It was silent on your end for almost two minutes. You were about to open your second can of beer until you heard your phone ping. M 0337411: I like phone sex.  M 0337411: Do you want to try having phone sex with me?
You almost choked on your spit, staring at the screen with wide eyes. If your cheeks had gotten any more hotter, it definitely wouldn't have been caused by the beer at all. Phone sex. Has this man gone mad? Your stomach churned a little and you felt your heart rate steadily increasing. You could only stare at his response, completely flabbergasted.  Was this was Ren meant by entertaining?
F 0236113: Sure, why not?
However, it wasn't like you hated it. You were unsure if the main source of your arousal was from the beer or simply from the excitement you felt towards engaging in such acts with a man whose face you've never seen -- let alone know their name. Nevertheless, you didn't want to miss this chance. It was thrilling.
His response was almost immediate, your phone ringing against the oak table -- the sound of the app's ringtone playing repeatedly as you slowly brought your phone to your ear and pressed 'answer'.
"Hello?" A deep, baritone voice filled the silence and you swore if your cheeks weren't burning hot before -- they definitely were now. His voice was definitely your type.
"H-Hello," you stammered, an immediate wave of shyness hitting you.
"Your voice," he began, "were you drinking?"
"How did you know?" You questioned him. Was it that obvious?
"You're stalling your words a little bit.” He commented before, a soft laugh leaving his lips soon after.
Stop. Even his laugh is sexy.
“I-Is that so?”
“Yeah,” he replied, “your voice sounds really good. It’s cute, too.”
'It's cute, too'
You felt your body heat up even more. Something about his voice made you feel like melting in a pool of your own heat -- perhaps it was the way he drags his voice, or perhaps it was because of how deep his voice is, or perhaps it was the way he sounded like he came out of a porno or drama CD -- and as much as you hated to admit it, it was so obvious that this stranger had reduced you into a horny and nervous mess.
"I like your voice too," you confessed.
"Oh? Is that right?"
"Yes."
You could hear the man chuckle a little before speaking again, "You'll hear much more of it very soon."
You blushed even more at his words. Was this man teasing you?
“Then, where are you right now?” He questioned. 
“Um, I’m on my couch right now in the living room.” You replied back to the man.
“The couch is pretty boring, don’t you think?”
“What makes you say that? I personally think it’s pretty comfy.”
"I do too, but the space's pretty narrow for you to be thrashing around while I fuck you, no?”
“T-that’s true,” you stammer out. You were really going to melt right there and then.
“Let’s move to the bed, then.”
The moment you stood up from your couch, you thought you were going to fall right back down. You could practically hear your heart beating through your ears, growing louder and louder, as you neared the bedroom.
"Are you nervous?" The man questioned you.
"Just a little bit," you confessed, "I've never done this before."
"It'll be okay. Just give me the red light, and we'll stop. Sounds good?"
You hummed in response as you entered your room and plopped down your bed.
"I'm guessing you're on the bed now."
"Hm, that's right."
Your ears flushed red when you heard the man’s breath hitch in his throat.
“Well then, want to take your pants off?”
“Actually,” you giggle, “I’m not wearing pants right now.”
“Haah, fuck.” The man groaned from the opposite line. “You’re doing this on purpose, huh?”
“Why won’t you strip out of your shirt then, princess? Do it nice and slow for me.”
You placed your phone down on the nightstand, and you followed the man’s instructions; slow hands the hem of your shirt before you pulled it over your head — you were practically naked now, all that was left were your panties.
“Good girl,” he praised, his voice breathless.
“It’s your turn,” you said breathlessly, “to take off your shirt.”
“As you wish.”
You grabbed your phone from the nightstand and pressed it against your ear, you could faintly hear the man unbuttoning his shirt before it dropped down to the ground, and lewd thoughts immediately came rushing into your mind, the heat pooling between your legs becoming even more unbearable.
“Anything else you want me to do?”
“Take off your pants,” you ordered, your voice quiet.
You could hear shuffling on the other end once more, your imagination running wild as the sounds of the belt unbuckling and dropping to the floor resonated in your ear as if it was a mild echo. He must be tall, judging from how long it took off his clothes. You closed your eyes, imagining that you were there with him, watching as he stripped out of his clothes in front of you.
“I’m all naked now,” the man finally said.
A soft moan slipped past your lips almost immediately after he uttered those words, your hips involuntary bucked against the mattress.
“Does my voice turn you on?” He questions you in a teasing tone, but it was evident that he was just as affected as you were.
“Yeah,” you replied, your voice breathless.
“Your voice is a huge turn on for me too,” said the man, “turns me on so much that I wanted to things like this the moment I heard your voice.”
How could he sound so composed? You attempted to stifle a small whine — his voice and your imaginations were driving your senses wild. Despite being all alone in your bedroom, you swore that you could feel strong hands trailing their way down your body, travelling lower and lower.
“Now then,” he began, “put your hand in your panties and softly rub your clit for me.”
With shaking hands, you followed his commands in concupiscent obedience, slipping your right hand into your panties and rubbing the sensitive bud with your pointer and middle finger.
“Mhhm, aah.”  You were already breathless, despite it merely being the beginning. You could hear the faint noises of the male jerking off in the other line, his soft groans were music to your ears.
“I need more,” you panted, “I wan’ more.”
“Take off your panties, then, and continue rubbing that pretty pussy of yours with more pressure.”
The speed you took your panties off was almost embarrassing, knowing that a stranger — whose name and whose face you’ve never seen before — managed to reduce you into a desperate mess with just his voice. Plopping your back down on the bed, you spread your legs wide as your hand slowly returned to the sensitive bud.
Your soft moans of wanton filled the room, only getting louder from hearing the man groan. You imagined him on top of you, his breath hot in your ear — as he rubs your clit greedily with his large hands. You could feel your body growing lighter the more you continued with the assault on your clit. The pressure in your abdomen continued to build up, and your moans were raising in volume — sounding more lewder. You were getting closer to your orgasm, the sounds of the stranger playing with his cock along with his soft groans were itching you closer and closer to your release.
“I-I’m so close,” you let out a small whimper, bucking your hips desperately against your hand.
“Put your two fingers in,” the stranger said, almost in a pleading tone, “make yourself come like that, sweet girl. Imagine it’s me stretching that tiny hole of yours.”
You complied, inserting two fingers into your sopping wet cunt, sucking them in almost immediately. The wet sound of your pussy taking your fingers in made the man moan almost immediately.
“Fuck, you’re so wet. Is that all for me, huh?”
You could only moan in response, your hips thrusting into your hands, trying to reach deeper.
“Go faster.”
You listened to him and you picked up the pace, the pressure building up in your abdomen steadily increasing the closer you got to your orgasm. The sounds of your sopping cunt filled the room, together with the sounds of your needy moans and whimpers as you went faster and faster. In your pornographic imagination, his large fingers replaced yours — toying with your hole as his other hand played with your nipple. “Mhhm,” you arched your back, “I’m so so close, please—Ah!”
“Keep going princess, and don’t you dare stop.”
As if his words had cast a spell on you, your pace increased and your moans gotten even louder. Your imagination getting more and more vivid by the second.
"I'm cumming -- I'm cumming!" you babbled out, crying out in a desperate moan as you arched your back, letting your orgasm wash over you.
“You’re such a good fucking girl,” the man groaned out, and you replied with a soft laugh through your heavy breathing.
“I’m so close,” he spoke through heavy breaths, “get on your knees and raise your ass up for me.”
You followed his words, adjusting your position on the soft mattress so that your chest was pressed against the mattress and your ass high up in the air. You could feel warm hands travelling down your back and up to your breast -- Fuck, you were sensitive all over.
"Oh, how I'd love to fuck you like this." He said, chuckling lowly as he breathed heavily. "Make yourself cum for me, again. Think about my cock fucking your pussy."
You moan at his lewd words, your hips bucking up as you entered your two fingers back into your sopping hole. Your fingers weren't enough to stretch you out. You wanted more. You needed more. Your hips thrusted back against your fingers, hungry for more friction. Scenarios of the stranger fucking you played in your mind like it was a porno movie, you could imagine his nails gripping into your hips, his cock reducing you into a dumb mess.
"Ahh-- Fuckk.. By the way you're moaning right now, I can tell that you're close to coming. I-I'm getting close too -- Ah. Let's cum together. Tell me when you're cumming, please."
There was a certain strain in the stranger’s voice as his pace on his cock quickened, his voice breathy and low as he muttered a jumble of praises. At this point, you felt yourself growing even more lightheaded while another moan leaves your drooling lips.
“I’m gonna cum,” you told the man in a breathless whimper, and you could hear the sound of fapping quickening in response to your words.
“Cum for me.”
And just like that, your mind went completely blank as you came in your hand. A muffled moan escaped your lips, your face pressed into the pillows.
The man lets out the most sexiest moan soon after, almost whimpering as he rode out his orgasm.
There was a minute of silence between you both, shaky breaths filling the room as you both attempted to control it. You rolled onto your back, staring at your hand which was drenched in your juices.
“How do you feel?” He later broke the silence, and you let out a soft laugh. “Really good,” you told him, “I enjoyed it a lot.”
“That’s good, I really liked it too.”
“You know,” you began, “you talk super differently on call compared to how you text.”
“Oh? You don’t like it? I thought you liked it.”
“I-I never said I didn’t like it!” You retorted. “It was just an honest observation.”
“Anyway,” you continued, “I’ve got to go now, it’s getting late now and I have work tomorrow…”
“Alright then,” replied the man, “but can we call again?”
“Yeah, I’d like that.”
It was a new day with same, old, usual routine. Groggily getting up from your bed as the sounds of the alarm blaring from your phone resonates athwart your bedroom. As if your body was set into auto-pilot, the rest of the early morning spent preparing for work turned into a blur, and it wasn't until now--while commuting to work--that you could feel your phone vibrating in your hand.
M 0337411: Good morning. Did you sleep well?
Oh.
Memories from last night suddenly came rushing in, and you never wanted anything more than to crawl into a hole and stay there, and rot for the rest of eternity. A warm incarnadine flush returns to your cheeks as you recollect the events that passed, the sheer embarrassment washing over you; the images of you -- evidently drunk, horny, and naked on your bed--engaging with such dirty acts with a stranger over the phone. A stranger.
It took almost everything in you to not scream in embarrassment in the bus, your palms lightly smacking your cheeks in hopes you'd cool off the heat in your cheeks. You were for sure going to melt.
Moments later, you found yourself staring at the tall glass building before you in a complete daze. All of a sudden, you didn’t really feel the need to work.
The rest of the morning was spent with staring mindlessly at the computer screen, restless fingers tapping on your desk. The computer was taking its sweet time connecting to the office printer, the ‘retry’ window popping up for the three tries you had attempted. Sighing softly, you slumped your back against your seat as you turned over to Ren, who busied herself with (discretely) playing solitaire on the computer.
Silently, you wondered how she’d react if you told her what had happened last night.
You switched your gaze back to your stubborn computer, eyes glaring into the bright screen — daring it to try defying you, one more time. With focused eyes, you watch as your computer slowly connects with the printer; silently praying that a ‘retry’ window wouldn’t appear this time.
Printer connected. 1 out 8 documents printing…
You clicked your tongue, the corners of your lips curling up into a small triumphant grin. It was about damn time. The weight on the plush of the chair was lifted once you stood up from your desk, adjusting the hem of your skirt as you made your way to the printer athwart the office. You lean your back slightly against the table, and you open your phone to pass time.
F 0236113: Good morning. I’m sorry I didn’t reply right away, I was caught up with work. How are you now? M 0337411: I'm so sleepy. I can't stop thinking about last night.  F 0236113: Last night? M 0337411: Don't tell me you forgot... You're despicable
You attempt to stifle a giggle at the man's texts, your hand covering your mouth in an effort (though, it was in vain) to hide the huge grin growing on your face. You knew very well about stranger danger, but for some odd reason, whenever you open your phone, you always --somehow-- get gravitated towards him. Of course, you had your cautions, but if you told Ren that this app wasn't at the least amusing, you'd certainly be a whole ass liar.
F 0236113: I'm kidding. How can I ever forget that? M 0337411: Of course you can't. Care to remind me who said that my voice turned her on last night?  F 0236113: ...Who's the despicable one, now? M 0337411: You're not denying it.
Shaking your head in amusement, you stuffed your phone back inside the pocket of your blazer and you grabbed the finished documents out of the machine, and organizing the sheets of paper with one hand while reaching out for the nearest stapler in the other. As much as you were enjoying your silence, it wasn't long before it had to be interrupted. In your peripheral vision, you could make out someone's hand placing a cup of coffee on the table, and your gaze snapped over to a familiar blond male -- his sharp eyes making it much easier to identify the man. You held yourself back from rolling your eyes, and you feigned a smile towards your boss.
"You've been working extra hard these days, Y/N." said Naoya. "Here, I got you one of your favourites."
"Thank you, Mr. Zen'in." You thanked the male as you grabbed the cup, it was your one of your favourites -- one that he'd always get you. "I was just about to hand you these documents."
You handed your boss the finished documents, ready to excuse yourself back to your desk.
"Hold on," Naoya said, "we still have some things to discuss."
What’s even there to discuss? You scoffed in your mind. Beyond a doubt, there was the slightest bit of hesitance into making your decision — however, you were more curious than you were cautious or nervous at this point.
"Okay," you said, smiling softly at the man. "What is it that you want to talk about, hm?"
Your soft words were laced with some form of venom, your eyes staring at the man expectantly.
"We can talk about it in my office," said Naoya before muttering, "follow me."
You followed Naoya compliantly, however, you couldn't ignore the unbearable tension filling the air between the both of you.  To be completely honest, you were beginning to regret even agreeing to follow him. Even if he had many things to discuss with you, what exactly could you reply to him with? Should you just stare at him and smile? Whilst rehearsing lines of excuses in your mind, you found yourself in his office, already seated on the sofa across from him.
"You moved on quite quickly," was the first thing Naoya uttered, breaking the awkward silence that had befallen you. "You already talking to someone new?"
"I honestly thought that our conversation would be work-related, was my judgement wrong? Besides, whether or not I moved on shouldn't be a concern to you." You replied, your usual (fake) soft tone now replaced with a certain sternness.
Naoya clicked his tongue, crossing his arms. The usual friendly, charismatic facade that he had always kept on eventually melted off -- his imperturable expression now plastered across his face. He raised an eyebrow towards you, his gaze locked onto yours with such intensity -- at first glance, anyone could've easily mistaken it as some ardent desire
"Is there anything else that you want to tell me?" You questioned him. "If not, I can just leave."
"You know, many days were spent with me wondering what went wrong between us to make you leave." He said before standing up from his couch, inching his way towards you. This ignorant fool. How could he act so stupid, unknowing of what caused the downfall of your relationship. He lowered himself, his eyes meeting your evidently vexed gaze.
"I missed you," he confessed, and you lightly scoffed at his words.
"Naoya," you said his name, your voice harsh, "everything was what went wrong in this relationship. You're my boss. There was no hope for the both of us -- I was practically invisible to you unless you needed something from me. Tell me this, Naoya, do you really mean it when you say you miss me? Or do you miss the woman that was easily wrapped around your finger?"
Naoya stared at you, shocked at your words before his lips curled up into a small smirk. A small chuckle left his lips, laced with contempt. “Now, what are you trying to say, Y/N?”
“What I’m saying is, Mr. Zen’in, don’t spout shit you obviously don’t mean. Besides, I know about you and Emi.”
Emi was genuinely a wild guess, but you obviously had your suspicions with how easily he’d get swayed by her, and how fixated she was on the mere topic of the Zen’in heir, as well as how you noticed how close they’d been getting prior to the breakup — but his reaction told you everything you needed to know and you chuckled quietly.
Naoya’s facial expressions dropped, it was almost cold. You knew all too well that this man had a knack for control, but that gave you even more of a reason to not waver underneath his cold gaze. You knew, coming into his office, that you were going to have to play quite a difficult game with this man. You had already grown a skin of steel (at least you hope you did) from the constant gaslighting you had to endure from him.
"Y/N," he said your name sternly, "what the hell are you even saying right now? That doesn't make any sense--"
"--I have nothing left to say towards you, Naoya." You said while smiling apathetically at the blond male, who seemed visibly displeased at your words. "Were you not even curious as to where I might've went this past week?"
No, not really. Over the course of time chasing after this man's love and affection, you soon realized that trying to save a relationship with a man who wouldn't even bother with you was straight up pointless. Over the course of time chasing after this man's love and affection, you realized that you no longer wanted to be concerned with him.
You heaved a sigh, shaking your head as you stood up from the sofa, making your way towards the door.
"I'll take my leave now, talking about this will only bring us nowhere. I suggest we continue acting like nothing happened between us -- work will be easier for you that way.”
The Zen'in heir opened his mouth to retort, but no words could come out of his throat. He was a man who had grown accustomed to getting things his way throughout his twenty seven years of living, and to say that a mere employee could cast such an effect on him--there were many phrases that were forming in his mind, but he relented, once again.
Once again, he watched your figure getting farther away from the sofa, your hand reaching out of the door.
There was no way in hell that you’d allow to cross paths with him, or any man like him. Your relationship with him was awfully hot and cold — one day, he’d invite you to a hotel room under a false name, and shower you in his so called ‘love’, and the next day he’d treat you like you had never existed, flirting with all the other women who worked higher up in the hierarchy all the whilst giving you false reassurances. However, you knew far too well that your status could never satiate the man’s hunger for climbing up in the social ladder. All the fake love he gave you, and all the time and energy wasted on him — no matter what he chose to do next, for sure wouldn’t affect you.
You attempted to hide your shaky breaths. You had bursted out like that -- not only towards your ex-boyfriend, but your boss. With slightly trembling hands, you twist the knob open, ready to dart out of the office and make a beeline towards the exit.
The door swung open, and rather than leaving immediately, you found yourself frozen in the doorway as you stare into bright, cerulean eyes with your watery ones.
"Oh? Am I interrupting something?"
Your eyes widened. That voice -- his voice. Perhaps you were just overthinking, but it sounded all too familiar. No, you had to be overthinking. His ivory locks framed his pale face, his business formal attire adorning his tall, lean frame — his features, in general, were a literal godsend. He appeared incredibly rich and powerful, much like your boss, the Zen'in Naoya -- if not, maybe even more. You mentally smacked yourself, how could you possibly make such baseless assumptions towards a man you had just seen.
"Gojo Satoru," Naoya said, his voice laced with obvious annoyance. "You should've texted me that you were arriving earlier than usual.”
Almost immediately, you moved out of the way, sending the tall man a small smile of acknowledgement as he entered the room. The white-haired male leaned against the wall beside you, rather than getting himself comfortable on the exorbitant-priced furniture.
“Sorry, sorry,” the man whose name was Satoru apologized weakly; his tone almost apathetic, “my flight arrived way earlier, and I was bored, so why not pass some time?”
The blond male tutted in response, shaking his head towards Satoru before darting his gaze over to you, whom in which made a discrete attempt to escape his office. “L/N,” Naoya called out your last name, his lips curled into a grin, “do you have time to show Gojo around the building?”
It was evident that Naoya wanted nothing to do with his guest, it was all plastered across his face.
Why couldn’t he do it himself? Why couldn't he call his secretary himself? You pondered to yourself as you returned the plastic smile, hoping that Naoya could see the vein that popped on your temple. You weren't in the mood to retaliate any longer, though. If this meant that you could leave his office, then it was fine.
"Yeah, of course." You switched your attention to the taller male, "Is there anywhere in the building that you haven’t seen yet?”
Gojo stared at you, almost surprised, for a moment before grinning. There was something in his gaze that made you want to shrivel up into a ball. As much as you wished to deny these intrusive thoughts that were lingering in the back of your mind, there was simply no way that he could be the stranger that you spoke to. However, the way he spoke — his pronunciation, his tone, the way he dragged his words, his voice — it was all too similar.
“Let’s get out of this office first, and then I’ll tell you.” Gojo said, smirking before shifting his gaze towards the glaring Zen’in.
The walk down the hallway was dreadfully silent. For a man like him who was verbose from the past minute, he was almost silent as you both headed for the elevator. “Mr. Gojo,” you said, breaking the silence, “is this your first time in the building?”
“Yeah,” he replied almost immediately, as if he had been waiting for you to speak. “By the way, your name is L/N…?”
“Y/N,” you finished, your pointer finger pressed firmly against the ‘up’ button. Then started the waiting game.
“Oh, Y/N.” Gojo repeated your name, his lips curling up into a small grin. “You know, you sound awfully familiar for someone that I’ve just met.”
“That’s interesting,” you said, your voice suddenly going quiet underneath his cerulean gaze. This awkwardness and tension lingering in the air was going to be the cause of your demise, you swore to yourself.
“Ahem—I suppose you don’t know where the meeting will be held later,” you said quickly, your voice getting higher in pitch, “there’s this huge conference room on the tenth floor, I’ll lead you to it.”
“No need to be so tense,” Gojo laughed, “I promise I don’t bite. So, speak normally with me, like how you would with a friend.”
You bit the inside of your cheek at his words, if someone found you speaking informally to someone as high up in the business hierarchy like him, they would definitely get the wrong idea, and the possibilities of rumours spreading in the office were high. Rumours were always a pain in the ass to deal with, so you really didn’t want to risk it.
“I still have to be careful, Mr. Gojo.” You smiled at the male. “It wouldn’t be a good look for me if I’m seen being informal towards you inside the building.”
“Will you be less tense with me if we talk outside the building, then?”
“I-I don’t understand what you’re trying to say, Mr. Gojo.”
The ding! coming from the elevator instantly broke you out of your thoughts, rushing into the empty space while uttering a quiet, “Come in,” towards the business man.
You stood across from Gojo, your eyes darting across the space — looking at anything, just anything besides him. You crossed your arms close to your chest, almost as if it could give you extra warmth aside from your blazer. Despite after crossing paths with him, you could already tell that Gojo Satoru was an unpredictable man. It was killing you.
You snapped your gaze towards the little screen above the sliding door, watching as the number slowly increased while the elevator lifted higher and higher. Six more floors to go.
“Sorry, I hope you don’t mind me making a phone call.” Gojo singsang, pulling out his phone out of the pocket of his trousers.
“Go ahead,” you muttered out, sparing the man a quick smile before your attention returned to the screen above the elevator door. Three more floors to go.
Just as you were about to relax, closing your eyes while waiting for the elevator to reach the tenth floor — you felt your phone violently vibrate inside your pocket, and shortly after, the HeartChat app ringtone echoed in the silent space. You felt your sweat running cold, as you rushed to get your phone out. Glancing up at the white haired male, you realized he had been staring at you the whole time with the phone in his hand, amused.
M 0337411 is calling… [accept | decline ]
All those intrusive thoughts that you tried so hard to ignore were right, after all.
You were simply going to die of embarrassment.
“What a coincidence. So, I was right after all. As soon as I heard your cute voice I automatically knew it was you.”
Everything was literally thrown at you today—first, having to deal with your ex (who wasn’t aware with what he did wrong) and second, being put into the corner of the elevator with Gojo Satoru, as known as the stranger you had phone sex with. You didn’t have a mirror with you to know what kind of expression you were making in that moment, but you for sure felt an overwhelming surge of mortification. Out of all days, it had to be the day after — when the memories of last night were still fresh in your mind. Out of all people, it had to be Gojo Satoru, the new man in the building.
“And given your reaction,” Gojo said, gently tilting your chin to meet his eyes; a hint of amusement present in his gaze, “you also recognize me.”
You swore you were going to melt, not only from embarrassment but, as ashamed as you were to admit it, him — it was even more embarrassing as you had grown aware of the wetness between your legs accumulating, only hidden by your black pencil skirt. Gojo Satoru, he truly was a sight to behold given his godsend features and his voice. The arousal that you had tried to suppress from last night slowly returns -- all those lewd thoughts you had about the stranger, and he was there -- within your reach.
“Not here,” you whispered, lightly smacking the man’s hand of your face. The look of chagrin was plastered all across your face, your cheeks stained with a bright incarnadine hue and your eyes darting away from his. He found it utterly adorable. “The door’s going to open any moment now.”
Right as you said that, the door opened—and thank god there was no one waiting on the other side of the door. There would simply be zero explanation that would be able to save you — his body was close to yours as you were nearly pressed in the corner of the elevator and hot, unbearable tension flooded the thick air.
“A-Anyways,” you stammered out, rushing out of the confines of the elevator, “to the conference room, it’s uh— this way. If you’ll follow me…”
Gojo followed suit, walking in a languid pace as he watched you speed-walk down the hall before stopping in front of a large opaque grey double door You pushed it open, signalling the man to enter.
Shortly after, you entered the room. “To be honest, I never stepped foot inside this room before—until today, that is.”
You traced the tips of your fingers along the sides of the large wooden table, your eyes scanning your surroundings. It actually looked really nice and clean. It was aesthetically pleasing to the eyes, too.
“Are you here for a business project with Mr. Zen’in?”
“I suppose you can say that, but I’m mainly here to speak with Zen’in Naobito .”
“Ah, the CEO then.”
“That’s correct.”
Then returned the silence, as well as the growing tension in the air. Just you were about to turn around and open the door, a strong hand stops you in your tracks. “Wait,” Gojo grabbed your attention, pulling you closer so you could face him.
You frantically glanced toward the door, afraid that someone could walk in.
The tension between the both of you was so strong, anyone could've cut it down with a knife, but there'd still be some struggle to it. You could barely breath; the air between the both of you felt warm, and only increased in temperature the longer you stayed in the room.
“This room will be empty for hour and a half before they arrive and start the meeting,” he assured you before leaning his face closer to your ear, his breath hot as he continued to speak. "Besides I still couldn't help, but think about last night. Does last night still play fresh in your mind?"
Oh, Lord. You swallowed your saliva, the warmth in your cheeks quickly returning as you stared at Gojo with a flustered expression plastered all across your face. He pulled you closer, and you didn't fight against it; the pleasant smell of his cologne filled your nostrils, you could grow addicted to it.
"I'd be lying if I said I didn't think about it all," you replied, your voice quiet.
That was enough of an answer for him. "Good," he said, grinning.
You couldn't ignore the utter lack of distance between both your bodies; your chest pressed against his with his one arm wrapped around your waist, his other hand caressing your chin -- tilting your head slightly while he silently examined your lips. You also took this as a chance to stare at his features up close, and you were right when you told yourself that he was blessed by the gods and your eyes lingered to his lips; they looked so soft, it almost made you wonder what it'd feel and taste like. You didn't want him to go.
"Do you want me to stop?" He asked you, however, there was something in his azure eyes that begged you to tell him to keep going -- there was a certain desperation to it. You looked at Gojo with a pleading gaze, however you also appeared to be dazed by his baritone voice, your lips trailing down to his lips.
"Kiss me," you told him, your voice dripping with arousal.
There was a stifled groan coming from the man before he pulled your face to his, his lips devouring yours. His lips tasted of honey, sweet and addicting; his hand pressed strongly against the small of your back as he walked you against the table. Large hands played with the hem of your skirt while you softly moaned in his mouth, your hands playing with the soft cushion of his ivory locks.
All rational thoughts had slipped out of your mind like butter, and all that took over was the pent up sexual desire and pure arousal.
You both briefly pulled away, a string of saliva was connected from both your lips.
“What if someone walks in on us?” You questioned the male, your voice nearly breathless.
“Don’t worry, sweets. The doors are locked, and room’s soundproof too.” Gojo replied, his hands slowly caressing up your skirt, “I’m surprised that no one hid the remote, too.”
"And fuck, have you seen yourself in the mirror? It's almost like you're begging to be fucked by me." He said, relishing the sight of your flushed face with your eyes staring up at him in wanton, as well as your cleavage firmly pressed pressed against his chest; the first few buttons had already gotten undone, revealing your black lace bra.
You briefly remembered telling him about how he sounded so different compared from how he texted when you first called him, and now that you were face to face with him — you soon came to realize that whatever words he spat out of his mouth were nothing but prurient, with you at least.
“Dirty girl, we just met and you’re already giving me that look. We’re in the conference room, too.” Gojo continued to tease, the tip of his finger playing with the waistband of your panties.
“It’s your fault,” you bit back playfully, “I bet you’ve kissed many women to be that good at kissing.”
Gojo immediately laughed at your response, “I’m honoured, but this is actually my first.”
“T-That's bullshit,” you said, surprised. “there’s no way that this is your first—Ah!”
Your own words got cut off by a surprised gasp, your head thrown back as your eyes rolled back in pleasure. He had pushed the slick fabric aside, and he easily eased a large finger inside your heat. Fuck. His fingers were far more better than you could’ve ever imagined — they were slender, yet girthy. His one finger could stretch you out more than your own two fingers could. Gojo eased his middle finger inside and fuck, was he about to cum by the way your pussy greedily took him in.
“Holy shit, sweets. So fucking wet that my fingers just keep getting sucked back in.” He said through gritted teeth, a hoarse chuckle slipping past his throat.
You tried to muffle your moans, covering your trembling mouth with both your hands as you succumbed to the pleasure that this man was giving you. You, for sure, had gone crazy — crazy to the max. Just earlier you were worried about getting caught being informal with him, but here you were, getting your pussy fingered by him in the conference room. Not only that, that man currently working his fingers into you, Satoru Gojo, was the stranger you had phone sex with last night. You were absolutely insane.
His pace quickened -- it was almost merciless, his thumb eventually joining into the mix to rub your sensitive bundle of nerves; the sounds of your drenched pussy being absolutely ravished by his filled the room, along with your muffled whimpers. With his empty hand, he grabbed both your hands and held them in a vice grip, dragging them away from your lips. "Hearing you moan in person is so fucking hot. I want to hear more."
And if he wasn’t rough with his fingers before, he definitely was now; desperately trying to draw all sorts of sounds from you — from the squelch of your wet pussy to your pretty moans, he wanted more. You, however, were completely writhing underneath his grip; your body sensitive from how well he was treating your needy hole. You could feel yourself coming close, the taste of orgasm was merely on the tip of your tongue, and all you could think about was how well his fingers were stretching you out. It wasn’t long before you felt the coil in your stomach tighten, and Gojo curled his fingers — making contact with the rough, spongy skin that made your toes curl. You arched your back, pressing your body closer to his — moaning his last name softly as you rode out your first orgasm. Gojo groaned along with you, muttering a line of praises as he slowly pushed his fingers in and out, relishing the aftermath of your release; coated with your juices.
Gojo’s patience was already thin, as you could say, it was treading on thin ice.
"Fuuck, you're so hot -- you're gonna make me cum, I swear." rasped Gojo, his breath hot on your ear. He pressed lingering kisses across your neck while his hands traveled to your clothed breasts, giving them a light squeeze, "I just want to eat you up."
With how seductive his voice sounded, you were convinced that you were going to cum for the second time; right there, and then.
With one swift movement, he pulled your skirt down (along with your drenched underwear), threw the thin pieces of fabric at his side and got himself levelled with your pussy, now all bare for him to savour. His mouth watered at the sight; he could see how your hole pulsed, needing something to fill it back in. God, he needed to fuck you.
“You feeling shy now, hm?” Gojo teased, his eyes snapped over to your flustered ones.
You’ve never felt so exposed before, your legs spread wide apart as you leaned further back against the table— you were completely under the mercy of this man, and it only made you further aroused as a result. Something about doing something so lewd in the conference room, at your workplace, let alone with a stranger as handsome as he was — you’ve never felt so thrilled. You were probably going to smack yourself later for being so reckless and irresponsible, but right here at this moment, you were going to savour every sensation; his touch, his taste, his voice, everything.
Without ever breaking eye contact with you, he licked a long stripe of saliva over your already drenched folds and your hips automatically bucked up at the pleasure. He watched as you writhed underneath his touch, a shuddering breath leaving your swollen lips. You were truly a sight to behold, and if it weren’t for the location, he would’ve had you completely naked for him. Thoughts of you never ceased to part from his mind, from hearing your voice to mere imaginations of fucking you senseless. Needless to say, his imaginations could never ever compare to what was unfolding before him.
He let out a satisfied hum against your folds, emitting light vibrations through your veins, just before he dug his face deeper in between your legs -- it was almost as if this man was starved; his tongue and lips greedily sucking onto your clit, twirling the sensitive bud around with the tip of his tongue. You shivered against his touch, "G-Gojo--Fuck."
"Satoru," Gojo corrected you for a moment before returning to his ministrations, "wanna hear you say my name."
This time, he stuck his tongue inside your pussy -- his finger returning to rub on your clit.
"Satoru," you moaned his name, "fuck, that feels so good."
Gojo moaned into your pussy in response, his actions only getting more messier and more carnal the more he tasted you -- he was getting drunk from the mere taste of you.
It wasn't long before you felt your impending release, the second one at that, and you gripped your fingers tightly around Satoru's ivory locks, muttering out a line of curses and 'i'mcoming'imcomingi'mcoming--' as your body shook around his head.
"Good girl. Good fucking girl." You heard Satoru mumble out praises as he lapped up all your juices, relishing in the sweet scent and taste of pure arousal that dripped down his cerise lips. “You taste so fucking delicious, I was seriously about to cum.”
“Fuck,” he hissed to himself, and you could hear the sounds of his belt unclasping — dropping to the floor. He was growing even more needy for you, and his horniness level had honestly gone through the fucking roof at this point. All he wanted to do now was to fuck you senseless.
"Satoru," you muttered his name, voice laced with pure desire, "want you to put it in already."
“There’s no way I won’t fuck your pussy today,” replied Gojo, discarding his undergarment, and almost immediately, his erect cock sprung up and your mouth began to water at the girth and length. Just how was that going to fit inside you?
Your reaction didn't go by unnoticed by the ivory-haired male, and his voice got a little gentle. He rubbed his cock against your slick folds, and you both shuddered at the sensation. "You'll be okay, just relax. You can do that for me, yeah?"
"Mhm," you nodded your head, almost a bit too frantically. Given the limited amount of time that you both had, you needed him inside now.
"Take a deep breath for me, 'kay?"
You complied to his words, closing your eyes as you inhaled deeply -- however, you nearly choked on your spit when only his tip entered. Satoru constantly gave you gentle reassurances; gently rubbing the sides of your hips, all while he pushed himself deeper into your walls. There was simply no way this was his first time, you thought to yourself silently -- but all your thoughts instantly turned into mush once he hit the hilt; his tip meeting your cervix. You moaned his name, your eyes slightly rolling back at the immense pleasure the man had been drowning you in.
Satoru groaned at the delightful sensation before chuckling through strained breaths, "See, it wasn't so hard."
He gave you a brief moment to recollect yourself, three seconds in fact, before he began to roll his hips against yours; pulling his cock back until the tip was barely inside, and he plunged back in. He did all this at an almost rapid pace, making your whole entire body turn into jelly.
"Look at your pussy, sucking me in so greedily when I just started to fuck you. Dirty girl." He rasped, his lips curled up into a grin and his gaze laserfocused on how your pussy was connected to him. It was taking everything in him not to cum right away, let alone cum inside you -- but the sensations of your walls clamping tightly around his shaft was making it difficult to think straight.
He kept up with the relentless pace, relishing in the sweet sounds your wet pussy was making while he fucked you as well as your moans.
He could feel you tightening around even more around him, as if your pussy was trying to milk him dry. The pace of his thrusts began to stagger, and he could feel himself getting closer to his release, however, rather than keeping up with his pace, he slowed down. You snapped your gaze to the Satoru, confused.
"Don't worry princess, I just want to try something new right now."
Just as you were about to question him on what exactly he was planning to do, you gasped in surprise when he lifted you up from the table with ease; your arms instinctively wrapped around his shoulders as he aligned your pussy with his cock, and steadily, he dropped you down on his length. You both moaned in tandem at the sensation. He watched your face intently, how it scrunched together in immense pleasure, your mouth slightly agape as your lips spilled out a myriad of moans while he lifted you and dropped you on his cock at a steady rhythm.
"Ohfuckohfuck--'Toru, you're so deep." You whimpered, stuffing your head into the crook of his shoulders while he continued to plunge into you. His grip on your ass tightened as he began to pick up the pace, and your moans were continuously broken down each time he thrusted his cock into you. He was relentless, and he was already obsessed with how you clamped down so tightly around him. He could honestly never get enough of it -- of you. And, how he loved watching you getting dumb over his cock, hearing you jumble nonsense all while telling him how badly you needed his cock had definitely done a number on him.
The tightening coil sensation that reverberated in the depths of your stomach returned once more the longer the man had pleasured you and you dug your nails deeper into the man's shoulders. "I'm gonna cum, fuck Satoru, I'm so close...!"
"Fucking cum on my cock," Gojo ordered you, his voice was almost pleading, and he kept up the pace, squeezing his eyes tightly and groaning at how tight your walls were squeezing him. You let out a cry, arching your back and curling your toes, as you came around his cock; your juices creaming around his shaft. He gently brought you back down to the floor, but held the small of your back immediately when he noticed that you were about to lose your balance.
Cumming inside you could wait for another day, he thought to himself as he desperately rubbed his hand on his cock, his lips immediately diving into yours for a passionate kiss. Soft groans left his rose-tinted lips as he melded his mouth with yours. He could feel his abdomen growing tighter, his legs getting weaker, and his mind getting blank. With a deep, strained moan slipping past the man's throat, he painted your thighs white with his seed.
Heavy breaths filled the room, and then came the soft chuckles.
“I’d like to say we’re really compatible,” said Gojo, pressing a soft kiss against your temple before languidly pulling a handkerchief from the pocket of his trousers; cleaning the mess he had made on your skin. “Don’t you agree, Y/N?”
You were far too dazed to comprehend most of the words that spilled from Gojo’s mouth, so you chose to nod your head in response to the man’s question. Gojo was quite the gentleman, upon realizing that your legs still felt weak and wobbled, he immediately took action — helping you slide your skirt back on while stuffing your drenched panties in his trousers (to which you gave him a light smack on the shoulder, but he didn’t mind honestly), buttoned your shirt back up, and helped put your blazer back on; he did all that while muttering sweet praises in your ear, almost tickling the skin. Your hair was still a mess, though, and your lips still appeared to be swollen. Gojo ran his fingers through your locks, making a pathetic attempt at fixing your hair. At least he tried, though. He shortly fixed his appearance after; all he did was clasp his belt back on, fix his attire, and ruffle his ivory locks — all within a minute.
“We still have fourty-five minutes left to spare.” Satoru said, staring at his phone screen before he shoved it back inside his pocket (not where your panties are, though). “We should head out now before someone tries to get in.”
“You’re a liar,” you said weakly, your voice almost breathless, “there’s no way that this is your first.”
Satoru chuckled, “Again, I’m honoured, but you’re my first.”
He grabbed the tiny remote and pressed the button, thus unlocking the double-doors. You didn’t really feel the need to ask him why he seemed so familiar with the conference room as you were heavily fixated on his face; his cerulean eyes gazing into yours, a bright smile painted on his pale visage.
“Let me take you out sometime,” Gojo blurted out. “You’re totally my type, and I want us to get to know each other better.”
“And how do I know that you don’t say that to other women using that app?”
“You were the first and only one I texted on the app,” Gojo replied, “and we are alike in so many aspects — especially our compatibility in sex.“
You rolled your eyes jokingly, before smiling at the male. “Okay then, I accept your offer. You know, you’re also my type.”
“And,” Gojo added, “we both get turned on by each other’s voices.”
“Let’s go,” you shrugged off the chuckling male, opening the double-door. Fortunately enough, there was no one present in the halls and there was still plenty of time before the meeting took place.
“Mr. Gojo,” you spoke to him formally, however there was a tint of teasing in your voice as his name spilled out of your lips like honey. “Anywhere else you’d like to go?”
“You. Me. My place, or yours.”
“You— I’m talking about if there’s anything else you’re not familiar with in the building.” You whispered harshly. “And, watch your volume!”
It had been a week since your last tryst with the Gojo Satoru, and needless to say, talking to him was a breath of fresh air. HeartChat switched over to SMS and there came the video calls. Even as promised, he brought you out to his favourite restaurants and cafés. Over the course of those past few days, you learned many things about the handsome man (aka god’s favourite), and he learned many things about you. For starters:
He was the chief executive officer of GOJO Tech, he was once the heir, but it wasn’t too long before his father decided to give him the role at the age of 24 (he’s now 28), and since then, business had been booming for the Gojo clan.
His relationship with the Gojo clan wasn’t the best — despite him being the new head of the clan and CEO, some members constantly preying on his demise. He didn’t really care, though.
He hated the taste of alcohol — he absolutely despised it. He drank it once during a party and immediately “chased” it with a mouthful of strawberry cake. You later questioned him if he really knew what a chaser was.
His first time having phone sex was with you, he tried acting confident since it also was your first.
He was basically good at everything he did—everything that would normally be strenuous or difficult would always appear to be easy on him.
Nevertheless, there were some things that remained unchanged, and that was the phone sex that you both subconsciously agreed to do nightly, as if it was some sort of promise.
You weren’t going to lie, but you nearly forgot about the drinking party with your colleagues — once you remembered, you immediately invited Gojo to accompany you (it was also at that moment where you remembered that he didn’t drink alcohol). Surprisingly, he agreed to come along, and even offered to give you a ride there.
So there you were in the restaurant, seated near the end of the table with Gojo beside you while the rest of your colleagues chattered loudly, it was awfully obvious that there had been alcohol in their system. You had already downed a glass of beer, and you could feel your stomach and cheeks steadily growing warmer. You turned over to Gojo, who busied himself in devouring all the food, even ordering for several new plates whilst your colleagues cheered on for him in a drunken haste. You had almost forgotten point number 6 — Not only was Gojo Satoru a dessert fanatic, he was also a huge foodie.
Emi made her way towards the end of table, where you and Gojo were seated; bottle of beer and sake in her hands. There was absolutely no denying how attractive she was, her eyes appeared innocent yet they relayed something far more different.
“I’m surprised that Mr. Gojo came along,” Emi began, smiling softly as gave the man beside you a playful stare; swiftly ignoring your presence. “I’ve heard that you’ve been incredibly busy these days. So, I’m glad. Do you mind if I pour you a drink?”
“Nah, it’s alright. I don’t drink those kind of stuff.” Gojo waved her off, sparing her a quick and friendly smile.
“Oh! By the way, did you and Y/N arrive together? I never expected you two to be so close, especially at work, considering how you just arrived here less than a week ago.” questioned Emi, tilting her head to one side while staring at him, feigning innocence. This irked you a little, as you could never tell what she was thinking behind those shy and innocent eyes of hers.
“I wonder how that could be,” she trailed off even further, her voice was loud enough so that a couple of colleagues could hear — loud enough for Zen’in Naoya to hear.
Flower of the office, my ass.
You could even feel your ex glaring daggers at both your directions. You took a large gulp out of your glass of beer while Gojo laughed loudly.
“My, you’re a curious one alright.” He said in between chuckles. “We simply crossed—”
“Satoru and I are currently seeing each other,” you cut him off, pointing your nearly empty glass towards Emi’s direction; your cheeks warm from the alcohol streaming in your veins. “Is that enough to make you, you know, mind your business?”
Haruto, Himari, and Ren, who all sat across from you, collectively choked on their drinks, staring at you in utter shock. They all gave you a look that basically screamed, ‘You bitch, at least catch us up!’
“O-Oh,” Emi said, her voice getting quieter while she still feigned a smile, “I’m happy for you both, then. You two make a cute pair.”
“I know we do,” Gojo said, pulling your shoulder closer to his while laughing. His eyes later snapped over to Naoya, who he could tell was trying his hardest to hide his disdain; his eyes were narrowed and his jaw tensed. Not before long, he stood up from his spot and briefly excused himself — reasoning was that he needed some fresh air. Shortly after, Emi followed his trail, and the party resumed like normal.
It was a silent gesture, but you gently squeezed his hands underneath the table as you stared into his eyes; his face still flushed from the earlier commotion — you had been reckless, once again. To your surprise, he squeezed your hand back immediately, only bringing both your hands onto the table, now visible for everyone to see. He gave you a reassuring smile before leaning in to press a soft kiss on your knuckles. The heat on your face only intensified at his display of affection, your cheeks turning scarlet.
“I’m sorry,” you muttered softly, “I did something really reckless, and I didn’t ask you if you were alright with having our relationship out in the open like that.”
“Y/N,” Satoru said, his voice quiet and gentle, “I didn’t ask you out just so I could keep you as a secret. I’ll show you off as much as I want, show everyone that you’re my woman.”
“I swear, Satoru, it’s always you and your words.” You mumbled, covering your flushed face with the palms of your hands.
“You mean voice,” he teased.
“… Shut up.”
Not long after that, perhaps thirty minutes, you bid your goodbyes to your colleagues, leaving the restaurant side by side with Gojo — making a beeline towards the car. Once you both entered, you let all your desires run loose; your lips locked against his, teeth clashing against one another, and heavy breaths filled the tight vicinity. The air quickly grew hot, and the kisses further intensified with fervour.
“W-Wait, Satoru,” you mumbled his name in his lips, your grip on his black dress shirt tightening.
He pulled away, and god, did he look ethereal underneath the moonlight; his white strands shone like silver, his eyes only glowed brighter in the darkness. “What is it, sweets?”
“Let’s not do it here,” you said softly, looking up at him with desperate eyes. “Let’s do it at my place.”
Gojo Satoru never turned his engine on so quickly until now, driving his lamborghini like he was a man on a mission.
The air grew warm the very moment you both stepped into your apartment, lips locked onto each other and arms wrapped around one another. Soft moans left your lips as you could feel the man’s pent up desire grinding against your hips, rubbing deliciously against your clothed heat.
“Your bed,” there was a certain urgency in his voice as he rasped against your lips, and grabbing his large hands, you both rushed to the bedroom. Your back met with the soft plush of the mattress, further sinking in as Satoru also applied his weight, his lips getting a taste of yours for the nth time. His hands instantly pushing up your shirt, his hands traveling up to your your breasts; his fingers sliding underneath the pads of your bra to tweak your little buds. You stifled a soft whimper, your fingers locked in his ivory locks.
Eventually he slid your shirt up, and you helped make go by things faster by unclasping your bra. He took in the moment to appreciate the sight of your nude breasts, a hitched breath leaving his throat while he stared. Eventually, he dove in and showed love to both your mounds; coating your nipples with his saliva as he licked and sucked, leaving a small trail of hickies along your soft skin.
"Satoru," you said his name in a soft murmur, your cheeks warm and scarlet. He hummed in response whilst he continued to play with your tits, his large hands squeezing the soft mounds. In a treacherous pace, he slowly trailed his kisses down your breasts to your lower abdomen. “You’re so cute,” he said in a teasing tone, “you’re already so sensitive to my touch, and I haven’t even started with you.”
He swiftly pulled your skirt down, immediately chuckling at the damped mess you hid in between your legs.
"You're so wet," he mumbled quietly as his arousal immediately went straight towards his dick. He drew a finger across your folds, which were only covered by the thin dampened fabric. With nimble hands, he slid off the fabric off effortlessly, and without wasting time, he inserted two fingers inside -- groaning at how easily he slid in.
He started out the pace with a punishing speed, your toes immediately curling at the sensation as you squealed in unadulterated pleasure. You rolled your eyes back as you drowned in the delightful sensations, arching your back whilst rolling your hips to meet his fingers. It wasn’t until he began to curl his fingers that the volume of your moans began to increase. He pushed your legs farther apart, digging his fingers deeper; eliciting more whimpers and wanton moans that slipped out of your lips effortlessly.
“You close?” He teased you, and you nodded your head frantically in response. He could very well tell how close you were to your orgasm, judging by the way your walls fluttered around his fingers.
“Cum for me then,” he said, and that was all it took for you to succumb to your release, your pussy juices perfectly coating his two fingers. "Good girl," he gave you his praise, his voice deep and heavy.
His fingers parted away from your skin, briefly, before he began to slowly unbutton his midnight dress shirt, revealing his toned muscles and abdomen-- all while staring down at you with a carnal daze. "Like what you see?"
You stared up to meet his eyes, flustered. "Of course, why would I not? You look so... hot. If the word hot and sexy was a person, I feel like it'd be you."
"Is this your way of flirting, cutie?" Gojo said in a teasing tone, his lips curled up into a playful smirk while he unclasped his belt and unzipped his trousers, revealing his boxers and the awfully huge tent that hid beneath the fabric. God, he is so sexy.
"... I'm taking it back now." You said quietly in a stubborn tone.
"You won't," he replied in a matter-of-fact tone, "your mouth is literally drooling for me, and even more so when..."
He dragged his words out while he slowly slipped his boxers off, revealing the angry red tip leaking with his pre-cum. Of course he ended up being right, seeing how you stared at his cock with hearts in your eyes.
"Okay cutie! Get on your knees and ass up."
Gojo loved how easily you complied to his commands -- one second you'd show him a little bit of sass and the next second you were begging for his dick. He grinned at the sight of your ass and back arched, your slick juices dripping off your pussy -- this was all for him, just for him. A loud smack resonated in the room when he slapped your ass and played with it, absolutely loving how it jiggled with every movement his hand made with it.
However, he couldn't wait any longer. He needed you, he wanted you -- so, so badly. Rubbing the tip of his cock along your folds, he relished in the sight of your body writhing beneath his grasp; being all desperate and needy for his cock.
It wasn't long before the loud sounds of his cock fucking into your pussy filled the bedroom, your loud moans muffled by the pillows you stuffed your head into. All that you could feel at that moment was pure, unadulterated pleasure; he was hitting all the right spots and his moans were music to your ears.
"Fuck, I've always thought about how I'd fuck you like this." Gojo moaned. "You're gripping onto me so fuckin' tight I might just cum."
A loud cry left your lips when Gojo decided to wrap his arms around you, pulling your body closer to his; his chest pressed firmly against your back as he continued to fuck into you whilst his hand traveled down to your center, lazily rubbing circles on your clit.
"O-Oh--fuck--'Toru --Ahn!" You would moan his name loudly while your body shook under his manipulation.
"Y/N," Gojo said your name breathlessly, all the whilst fucking you dumb on your bed, "be my girlfriend-- I want you to be all mine."
"Y-Yes, yes, yes -- 'Toru," you said in between gasps and moans, "I wanna be all yours. O-Oh fuck, I'm gonna cum -- I'm gonna cum--!"
Gojo mumbled a bunch of praises towards you as you rode out your orgasm, your chest rising and sinking as you attempted to control your heavy breaths while he gently rubbed your hips with his thumb. "You're such a good girl," he leaned over to press a soft kiss over the back of your head.
"You still have some energy, right?" He questioned you, and you now found yourself laying underneath the male; your legs both hoisted up on his shoulders. You nodded your head, staring at Gojo with a heavy-lidded gaze, and his eyes were blown with lust and desire. He pressed a soft kiss to your ankle before staring back down at you with a teasing smile.
"Good, because I'm nowhere near done."
(You definitely made sure to keep a mental note to thank Ren for getting you into the app)
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𝐄𝐗𝐓𝐑𝐀 𝐒𝐂𝐄𝐍𝐄 !
It was a day after your your risqué rendezvous with Gojo Satoru, who you later came to realize was the stranger you engaged sexual activities with over the phone, on HeartChat — the app that no one other than your childhood friend and coworker, Ren, had downloaded on your phone.
“So,” Ren began, wiggling her eyebrows as she pointed at the phone you were holding in your hand. “How was it? It’s fun isn’t it?”
You and Ren were seated on the bench, eating lunch outside during your break. Normally you’d stay indoors, but the following information you were going to share to her were meant for her ears only — since she was the one who recommended this app, after all. Needless to say, Ren was more than thrilled for you to spill the details.
“You never told me that the app was meant for different purposes,” you said, raising a small brow towards your friend.
“I mean, I only use the app to troll around with other men. Nothing too serious, you know?” Ren said before her face quickly dropped. “Unless…? What exactly did you do, Y/N?”
“I…” you began, but you paused. “You better not tell this to another soul, I swear.”
“Riko?”
“Obviously we’ll catch Riko up from this after her honeymoon, but no one else! Promise?”
“You’re making me nervous, Y/N.”
“I had phone sex,” you admitted. Ren’s face immediately turned scarlet, looking at you — shocked. “No way,” she mumbled before she bursted out laughing. “No fucking way. Those type of things only happen in those spicy novels.”
“Oh, you won’t believe what happened next.”
“Okay. I’m all ears.”
“Don’t react loudly, okay?”
“I promise.”
“I had sex with him the next day.”
“WHAT.”
If Ren wasn’t red enough just moments before, then she definitely was now.
“So… are you going to tell me who it is or…?”
“Nah, it’s a secret.”
“... Babe, what other secret could possibly be more shocking than what you just told me?”
So, colour Ren surprised when she added two and two together once you had confessed that you and The Gojo Satoru were seeing each other a week later.
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interactions, comments + reblogs are greatly appreciated! xoxo
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ponderingmoonlight · 4 months
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Hii can you pls do a nanami and gojo(separately) make out fic pls??
Okay, let's do this with a little twist...
Getting caught while making out with JJK men
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Pairings: Geto x fem!reader; Gojo x fem!reader; Nanami x fem!reader
Word Count: 2,2k
Warnings: well, it's getting heated babes, not 100% proofread because I wrote this in my work break (again lol)
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Geto Suguru
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You know how wrong it is. This is not the right time, not the right place to stand in a lonely corner with Geto Suguru’s hands all over you and his lips hanging onto yours like you’re air and he cannot breathe.
“Fuck, we should get going”, you whimper into the lonely hallway.
In fact, getting going is the last thing you want to do right now. Not when Riko is busy saying goodbye to her former life, not when your emotions are all over the place. You hid your feelings towards Suguru for so long, tried to convince yourself over and over that you don’t hold those kinds of feelings towards him. But when he allowed Riko some privacy, when you saw the glimmer in his dark eyes shimmering down at you…
You were lost.
And you lose over and over again with his lips worshipping yours like no one did before, with him pressing you against a nearby wall. Countless nights, you pondered about the way it might feel to get hold like this, to actually feel him this close. But reality? Way too bittersweet, way better than anything you could have ever imagined.
“I don’t want to leave you ever again”, he mumbles against your parted mouth before starting a dangerous dance with both of your tongues intertwined.
That man who pierced through Satoru could be here every time, you need to fulfill this mission, need to concentrate on escorting Riko to Tengen-sama. After all, this might be the only purpose you have here at Jujutsu High: Completing missions after missions, doing as you were told.
No, fuck that.
This right here is what you live for. The sensation of Suguru hollering over you like a shadow, of him holding you like no one did before, putting together all your broken pieces.
“I love you”, you finally hush.
“I think I always did.”
“I feel the same way, (y/n). God, I adore you more than anything else.”
Just when you thought your kiss couldn’t get any deeper, couldn’t make you lose your breath even more, he grabs your chin in order to gain better access of your mouth. Now you’re all yours, whimpering under his touch like a little girl.
Out of instinct, you wrap your arms around his broad shoulders, allow your fingertips to grab his soft hair for hold.
“Huh, really didn’t expect to find ya here like that. Well, having fun before dying isn’t a crime, ya know.”
Your blood freezes instantly as you pull away and get greeted by the coldest green eyes you’ve ever seen. The man who fought against, Satoru. Without any doubt.
But…You eye him up and down, blood sticking onto his tight shirt without a visible wound.
Where’s Satoru?
“Leave her alone”, Suguru instructs the man seriously while positioning himself in front of you.
“You’re better off protecting ya little girlfriend from me. She’s cute. Maybe I’ll take her on a date when I killed you.”
Fuck fuck fuck.
Your heart drops to the floor, Suguru’s widened eyes revealing the urgency of this situation all too urgently. Out of all people who could have caught both of you this vulnerable, why on earth does it have to be him? There is no way Suguru will allow you to stay here while that stranger now knows…
“She’s your weakness, isn’t she? Maybe I can teach you a lesson about how freaking dumb love is.”
“Get Riko and escort her to Tengen-sama as fast as possible, (y/n)”, Suguru speaks out firmly while your eyes make contact.
“I can’t leave you here alone, if he defeated Satoru-“
He doesn’t interrupt you with words. No, instead he pulls you close, presses his puffy lips against yours until you feel like drowning in emotions.
“Get going. I don’t want this to be the last time someone caught us together.”
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Gojo Satoru
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“Get away from me right now.”
Oh, how desperately you try to sound angry while the truth is, that you want Gojo Satoru as close as possible. Your eyes dart left and right, search for the unpromising opportunity that somebody catches you in this position.
This position.
You, caged between Satoru’s arms in the male dorm you aren’t even allowed in, to be exact.
“C’mon, you don’t want me to get away from you. After teasing me the whole day and giving me that looks, you want me to go? Try better next time, princess”, he teases you while throwing his sunglasses to the ground without thinking twice.
“If we get caught here by a teacher…I can’t afford bad reputation, Satoru! What would my parents think, what if I get grounded, what if-“
“I know something better than using that mouth for hysteric talking”, he purrs with his face drawing closer and closer.
“Please, you aren’t even listening to me!”
A mix of panic, excitement and desire rushes through your veins, makes your eyes widen in sheer horror.
If your parents find out you were caught with a boy while actually, you are supposed to be a good student, you’ll be screwed. Especially when they found out which boy you were making out with…
Even though Gojo Satoru is considered the strongest jujutsu sorcerer of your timeline, your parents seem to hate him to the core.
“I don’t care that he’s your classmate. If you ever get involved with him more than necessary, you will leave this school without a second chance.”
You swallow hard. No, there is absolutely no doubt in the fact that your father made his point very clear.
But Satoru does as well. When he wraps his arms around your waist, he catches you just in time before your wobbly knees give in. No boy ever touched you like that, no other boy ever swept you off your feet like that. The butterflies in your stomach become almost unbearable while you can’t help but stare at his eyes.
Those oh so gorgeous eyes.
“I don’t want to hide my feelings for you any longer. Fuck your parents, fuck their threats. As long as I’m here, no one can hurt you.”
You let out your shaky breath you didn’t know you were holding.
And then your lips collide with his. Slowly and sweet at first until your very own longing becomes too much. You grab his back, pull him closer, allow him to access your mouth. He tastes like your favorite chewing gum and strawberries, so sweet that you cannot escape. Longingly, you allow him to suck on your bottom lip until a whimper escapes your lips. This is so much better than you ever imagined, so much sweeter than you ever dreamed of. There will never be a boy apart from Satoru who sweeps you off your feet like this, who makes you feel this way.
“Out of all boys, why does it have to be him, (y/n)?”
Your heart drops so suddenly that you feel like dying right on the spot. That low voice you know so well by now, that low voice that means nothing but trouble at the moment.
“S-sir…Yaga-sama I…I”
You fail to find the right words. In fact, all you are able to do is staring at him with glossy eyes and messy hair that reveal oh too painfully what you just did.
You crossed the line you promised your father not to. You came to the boy’s dorms even though you aren’t allowed to. And you got caught by your teacher doing so.
“Why does a nice girl like you waste her time with trash like Gojo?”, he continues.
“C’mon, you don’t have to be this me-“
“Please don’t tell my father!”
You let yourself drop to the floor, your head resting on top of your hands.
“I know it’s not my place to ask for something like that. But if you do…I will have to leave Jujutsu High.”
Thick silence hangs in the air, so quiet that you’re able to hear your tears fall onto the ground. You shouldn’t see Satoru anymore, should end this relationship before it started.
But truth is…you love him. Despite all the differences and your father’s hatred towards him, you love Satoru. You don’t want to leave him and Jujutsu High, you can’t stand the sheer fact of never seeing him again.
Still, it’s Yaga-sama’s job to inform your parents about your behavior, that you were caught in the boy’s dorm. And from there on there is no way out for you, no way to escape this fate.
“What are you talking about, (y/n)?”
Your teary eyes dart towards him immediately while you have to blink a few times in order to process what he just said.
“You caught me in the boy’s dorm with Satoru. It is your responsibility to inform my parents about that”, you reply with shaky voice.
“And risking that you’ll have to leave Jujutsu High? You’re the only useful student of this year and probably the only one who is able to tame this idiot down. I didn’t see anything today.”
“I am not an idiot”, Satoru protests with a sly grin.
“You can call yourself lucky a girl like (y/n) decided to keep up with you. I hope you won’t hurt her, Satoru. Or else, I might tell her father about it.”
And with that, he turns on his heels and walks aways as noiseless as he came, leaving both Satoru and you standing there bamboozled.
“So…what’s the worst your father would do to me?”
“Oh, he’d totally kill you if he found we made out”, you reply instantly.
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Nanami Kento
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“I might be gone for a few days, darling.”
Gently, he caresses your back the way he knows you adore it while wearing a saddened expression on your face.
“What mission takes a few days? Why aren’t they sending Gojo like they always do?”, you question with a pout.
You weren’t really able to meet up with your boyfriend Kento for what feels like ages. During work here at Jujutsu High, you aim to be professional, to not show each other affection. After all, this is your job and both of you take that very seriously. But now that you haven’t really seen each other after works for weeks, you can’t escape the urge to simply hug him, to feel his warmth and take in his masculine scent.
Kento breathes out audibly while stroking your hair. Truth is, he misses you like crazy. Despite his desperate attempts to stay away from you at Jujutsu High, he finds himself wrapping his arms around you as well.
“This is something serious. I can’t let the students go out on their own”, he mumbles against your forehead before placing a gentle kiss onto it.
Your stomach drops in excitement immediately. After weeks without affection, just a tiny kiss on your forehead seems to be enough to drive you wild.
“I get that. It just frustrates me a little”, you reply.
When your eyes find his, they are clouded by a feeling you know all too well. Time stands still when his grip around you tightens and his gaze drifts towards your lips. Your oh so longing lips that cannot wait to get kissed.
Without hesitation, you close the tiny gap between both of you. Even though you’re standing in the middle of a classroom at Jujutsu High, even though you both agreed on keeping your relationship out of work life.
You simply can’t right now. A swift motion is enough for him to lift you off the ground with ease while pressing your back against the cool wall. A whimper escapes your lips before you’re able to stop it, all senses directed towards him with your eyes closed by the sheer sensation.
“I missed you so much”, he breathes against your lips before continuing his sweet torture.
“Missed you as well…so…much…”
You allow your hungry hands to re-discover the valleys of his muscular back, his broad shoulders, his oh so perfect face. How are you supposed to stay away from a man like him longer than a few hours? Him with his character of gold, body of steel and brain?
“Nanami-sensei, I-…Oh.”
Your eyes dart open immediately and find a utterly surprised Yuji Itadori staring at you with his mouth open.
“Yuji, what are you doing here?”, you mumble while picking on your messy clothes in the most awkward way.
“Why didn’t I know that you two are a thing?”, the pink-haired boy continues, ignoring your lousy attempt to distract.
“Because this is our private life. Why are you here, Itadori-kun?”, Nanami replies in all seriousness.
“But…That’s awesome! You two go so well together! And I always thought that (y/n)-san is totally into you!”
“Watch your words, Itadori.”
“Yuji, can you please just…leave?”, you literally beg.
“Oh yeah, of course.”
“Wait, Itadori”, Nanami instructs the boy just when he’s about to leave the room.
“Don’t you dare to tell Kugisaki about anything you saw today.”
Yuji blinks a few times before nodding and leaving the room with a smile.
“He will totally tell her everything. You know that, right?”, you comment, still trying to catch your breath.
“Unfortunately, yes.”
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gojosbf · 2 months
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thinking about geto's original dialogue of "if you want to kill me, go ahead. i don’t mind being killed by you. just be careful to not kill anyone besides me" and how geto did not mind being a villain but he did not want gojo to turn out like him and he tried to make sure if it just like how he protected gojo from turning to dark side after riko's death. he left because he wanted to create a world gojo will not have to bear the burden of all the lives on his shoulder, he left so gojo could move on without being swayed by him or his ideologies and even if it meant being killed by gojo which is so ironic because gojo never really moved on from that incident. it cemented so deeply into his conscience that he carried the guilt of being left behind for a decade and over. geto thought his leaving would make sense and things easier while it did the quite opposite, every decision and goal that gojo took from then on always tracked back to the kfc incident, if he wasn't being tormented by geto's memory he was being tormented by the misuse and disrespect of geto's body. the before, during and after gojo's sealing all involved one main factor: geto suguru. even before shinjuku fight while preparing for the worst outcome possible he was thinking about geto and how he always had to catch up to geto because he was the who was left behind, even during his death his last conversation was with geto. both of them left such big holes in each other's lives when they were barely together for 3 years, if that isn't love idk what is.
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duckiemimi · 1 year
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gojo in jjk 236
i’m not one to advocate for prying away creative control from a creator’s (mangaka’s) cramped, overworked hands, and i understand that with oftentimes fandoms get so big that the story warps itself into something out of the creator’s control, but i do know what a good character arc looks like (i’ve seen it in this very story before) and i do know what public pressure can do to a creative mind.
that being said, keeping gojo dormant for more than a hundred chapters, then unsealing him only for him to gain nothing from his long-drawn out fight with sukuna is insane. i was assuming we were building up stakes in his character arc! i didn’t think he’d die prematurely without resolution! how could he be given a meaningless death when it was all he and geto talked about at one point?
gojo could’ve been living proof that change is possible and that fate is breakable. he was born after multiple cycles of six eyes and limitless users, he was born a baby-shaped building block, jujutsu’s atlas with the world on his shoulders. alone and untouchable. but he changed because he met geto. he changed because he met shoko, because he met megumi and yuuta and yuuji and every single character that has loved and cared about him. love changed him. to be loved is to be changed, and to have him go without an ending line to, “this is just a personal theory, but love is the most twisted curse of them all,” is such a loss. it’s like a sentence without a full-stop, abruptly cut short with no continuation.
i initially thought that he’d be weakened by sukuna, but then his allies would come running to back him up—there is strength in solidarity! his true strength should’ve stemmed from solidarity and love! interdependence and connection should’ve been the peak of his character arc! why did we end up with nothing even after tens of chapters of him fighting for his life? why did every other character sit still instead of using their advantage in numbers?
but i do see where gege is headed. with gojo gone, the baton has been passed onto the next generation. there is no longer a biological “hierarchy” of power amongst the sorcerers (to an extent), and perhaps sukuna himself will falter because the balance of the universe was pulled from under their feet. besides love, jjk is also about generational second chances: sashisu and itakugifushi; toji and maki; geto and yuuji and yuuta; geto walking to tengen’s quarters alone, delivering riko almost hesitantly, and yuuji waking to tengen’s quarters with megumi, yuuta, choso, and yuki. silhouettes in the dark of the tunnels. hell, you could even count yaga as a teacher and gojo as a teacher. or yaga’s CT and how he gave a child another chance at life. yuuji’s multiple resurrections. kenjaku and tengen. i get it, i do—i understand what gege’s trying to do here, but i’m tired of him using these characters as plot devices instead of giving them the resolution they deserve. (especially for jjk’s cash cow…he deserved more than a rushed end.)
i do hope that that one theory about gojo only being able to die if his head is cut off is true. but even then, after all of the fake outs we’ve had to read, that would be a shitty cheap shot. i’ll try to have faith; even that is wavering.
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rinniessance · 10 months
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FAITH ༊*·˚ - suguru geto x fem!reader
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suguru geto has been slipping further into darkness every day since amanai riko's death. now with yu haibara's dead body in front of you, you think suguru might sink even deeper. so you offer him a respite between your legs.
꒰ warnings: nsfw - mdni .ᐟ.ᐟ hurt/comfort, porn with plot. established relationship, sex as unhealthy coping mechanism, co-dependency, oral sex (f! receiving), unprotected sex. canon compliant but you forgive geto all his crimes ♡ // word count: 6k ꒱ ꒰ notes: this is a repost from my old blog .ᐟ.ᐟ this was originally written for a collab and i love this piece so much, i want it on my new blog꒱
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for a second, the world has finally gone silent. suguru doesn’t remember when was the last time it was this quiet inside his head. ever since that day, he’s been haunted by the creeping thoughts of the next time he’s going to fail; plagued by the thoughts of which friend he will have to bury next just because they were lucky (or unlucky) to be born with the gift to be special, to be stronger, to protect. but suguru should’ve known better than to trust his own mind not to play the cruel trick.
clap… clap.. clap. clap.clap.clap
raven-haired sorcerer keeps staring at the wall, paralyzed by the memories, the echoes that still breath down his spine and make the goosebumps dance across his skin. the clapping always follows the silence. same way a kid would pick on a just healed wound, making it bleed with the renewed vigor, suguru’s mind keeps tearing his never-healing soul apart and making it bleed all over again.
the water has gone cold, but geto doesn’t notice. in the end, the coldness that’s been spreading somewhere deep around his heart is harder to ignore. he has not noticed yet, but he’s been slowly losing himself to the darkness brewing inside. and if what they say about the eyes being windows to the soul is true, then suguru’s are sign of no good (you’ve been trying to find the reflection of the suguru you knew but he’s been slipping away further every day).
he knows you’ve been worried; he knows you’ve been asking him to open up and talk; whispering so softly please baby let me help you. and you’re so soft, so sweet, so willing to do anything, he tries to forget the burden he’ll always be carrying by losing himself between your legs. water droplets keep falling down his wet hair, and he thinks he’ll allow his inner demons to be satiated by the thoughts of you. he thinks of your soft lips that he yearns to kiss after a mission because the taste of the strawberry lipstick and green tea mochi you had for desert chases away the taste of vomit from the curses he had to swallow. suguru is sure he will do anything for you. he just has to make sure that you will do anything for him as well.
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yu haibara is seventeen years old when he dies. you think you should be crying but the shock of the news has not worn off yet; you’re not able to comprehend yet that it’s another friend gone. you move your gaze to nanami who is sitting in the corner hiding his face behind the towel. he reminds you awfully of the suguru a year and some ago when he trailed behind satoru who was carrying the body of amanai riko. you wonder if nanami is hiding his eyes on purpose; you wonder if he's been crying and feeling guilty and blaming the villagers for what happened. you wonder because that's what you’ve been through with suguru.
you slowly turn to look at your lover: his under-eye bags have become even darker, his face appeared to be more sunken, and he looks even more disheveled than he’s been looking lately. you’ve been trying to persuade him to talk to you about the demons that are pulling him away from you but he doesn’t want to discuss this – that’s not what he wants you for. but you’re so helplessly in love with him, you’re not sure what you would do if he stops coming back to bury himself to the hilt in your pussy as means of coping. so if he wants to chase his demons away by fucking you like his life depends on it, you will allow him to do it every time.
“it was supposed to be an easy mission to exterminate a second-grade cursed spirit… fuck!” nanami feels bubbling frustration and exhaustion mix together, so he tiredly exhales. “their faith in ubusunagami... that was a local deity. that was a first-grade case.”
suguru sighs. “you need to rest for now, nanami. satoru has taken up your mission.”
“can't we just leave everything up to him alone at this point?”
the question hangs heavy in the air. satoru was becoming the strongest sorcerer, he didn’t need you or suguru accompanying him on missions anymore. you wonder if satoru really didn’t notice the changes happening with suguru, or if he just decided to ignore all the signs. maybe you should’ve brought your concerns to him but if your partner did not want to talk to his best friend about it, then you would not get in the mix.
you gently took geto’s hand and intertwined your fingers.
“i’ll wait for you in your room, my love. come find me when you’re ready.”
this has become a routine for you. whenever you would see suguru start slipping, you would offer him the oasis he seeks in your cunt. so you leave the morgue and let suguru come to you.
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geto wanders around school before he makes his way to you. he thinks about the conversation he had with yu and yuki right before his mission. he thinks about yu’s sweet innocence and naïve desire to protect everything and everyone. what did he say to geto? it feels really good to be able to give my all to something i can actually do. should suguru have said something to him about how easy it is to slip and fall? how fragile human lives are and how unfair it was that the only lives that the non-sorcerer world was not scared of breaking were theirs?
and then he thinks about what yuki asked him. do you hate non-sorcerers, geto-kun? he makes a turn into a garden behind the school contemplating the question. did he really want to fight and reject the part that makes him grow hot with contempt, burning him from the inside? if the failure of the last year’s mission, if the death of yu haibara, if the thought of you bloody and dead in his arms makes his insides run cold, crippling him to the point of total numbness, then the thoughts of letting the weak and the pathetic live while the people closest to him only keep piling up as corpses make his blood boil. maybe that’s exactly what he was looking for.
suguru makes another turn to walk towards the dorm. he lets his thoughts run their own course while he’s trying to concentrate on the only person who matters to him right now. he knows you’re waiting for him in the room, and he cannot wait to slip into a blissful ignorance about everything, even if it’s just for a second. as he expects, you’re waiting for him on his bed, laying on your side facing the wall. he strips of his jacket and lays next to you snaking his arms around your waist and hugging you so close, you think he would never let you go again.
“need you right now, baby,” geto whispers so quietly and then places the first kiss in the crook of your neck. you turn to face him now instead, and gently cup his face into your hands. it always starts like this. suguru would come to you at the ungodly hour of the night, and you accept him with no hesitation.
“tell me what exactly you need, my love,” you respond and then place a careful kiss on his lips. he doesn’t respond, just lets you move your lips to the other parts of his face, pecking everything you can get your lips on.
“need to have you, to be in you.”
“then you have me. you know i’m yours, now and forever.”
with that, suguru pushes you onto your back and then climbs on top. he captures your lips in the kiss that can only be described as desperate: one of his hands comes up behind your neck and he pulls your face even closer to him, while other slowly trails down your body. he’s invading your mouth with his tongue, stealing all your oxygen for himself as if he’s to decide when you can breathe, teeth clashing. it’s messy, it’s violent in its intensity, and it makes the wetness pool between your legs. suguru pushes his knee between your thighs, spreading them further, and breaks the kiss. his gaze follows the outline of your body all the way to your clothes cunt, and the wet stain on your underwear gets him excited, and makes you blush.
“someone’s been waiting for this, huh?” geto teases and takes off your underwear. he gathers the slick dripping out of you onto his long fingers by circling them around your weeping entrance but doesn’t insert them yet.
“can you take me without any prep?” you can see his is frantic to the point of impatience. you can see how ragged his breathing already is, how heavy his eyelids are and how dilated his pupils became. suguru is a drug addict looking for his next fix, and only your pussy can offer him the relief he needs.
“anything you need, you can take from me,” is the only thing you can respond with, and suguru does not need any other confirmations. he shimmers out of his pants and boxers, takes off his shirt and his naked physic makes your breath hitch. you run your fingers on his pectoral muscles and down his pecks. you want to lick geto’s happy trail, all the way down his hard cock and then gag yourself to the point of tears. but that will possibly come later. for now, you just let him get situated between your thighs, grab your legs and bring them over his shoulders.
“you ready, pretty thing?” suguru knows that he doesn’t need to ask as if you will give any other answer but positive, but you still nod your head. geto knows that he is being selfish – there is no foreplay on nights like this, just pure desire and desperation. he will make sure he will pay you back later. now he takes his pulsating dick in his hand, strokes himself twice and lines himself with your needy hole. and when suguru pushes himself inside, he doesn’t give you any time to adjust to his size and buries himself to the hilt. the stretch is painful, you can feel your walls flatter around him trying to accommodate his cock. geto doesn’t give you any time to even think about adjusting when he suddenly pulls away and then bottoms out again. this has been rehearsed so many times that when the tip of his dick kisses your cervix, you forget all about the pain and let out a wanton moan. it’s in the moments like this that dark-haired sorcerer thinks your moans is the only melody that can sooth his troubled mind.
the pace he sets is unforgiving. it’s fast, it’s bruising, it’s almost maddening in the way he pushes himself in and out. and every time his cock leaves your dripping hole, your body just sucks him right back in. suguru’s hair is disheveled, perfect bun he likes to keep his hair in is unkempt and loose hair strands frame his face making him look like pure sin. he’s still holding onto your ankles, turning his head and placing timid kisses there when he pushes inside you especially rough.
“you’re so tight, angel. you’re always so fucking good to me. i’ve molded your cunt to take me so well, huh?” he’s babbling, and you’re drinking up every dirty thing he says to you. “open your mouth.” you do it without a second delay, and take out your tongue too, just like he’s trained you. geto grabs the back of your knees and pushes them onto your body, bringing you into a mating press. this allows him to reach an even deeper angle inside you (you didn’t think it was even possible), and you moan again through your opened mouth. he brings his face close to yours.
“god, you really are ready to take whatever i give you,” geto says through panting breaths and then spits on your tongue. your boyfriend forces your mouth closed, and you swallow without any further instructions. now that suguru is pressed against your chest, he feels so close, that you’re start losing yourself in the warmth his body provides. he speeds up even more, and with the changed position, he now hits the spot inside that makes your whole world spiral. you want to close your eyes but you cannot tear your gaze away from the devil above you – geto’s strands are now stuck to his forehead, sweat is dripping down the sides of his face, and you want to lick him clean. your breathing is shallow as you feel the orgasm starting to build up inside your belly – suguru can feel your walls flatter around him even tighter, and you know it forces him to go over the edge too.
“just like that, baby, it feels so good,” you cry out and suguru kisses you hard and rough. you know it’s because he’s trying not to come so he is distracting himself by your lips; but when you moan again into his mouth like your life depends on the orgasm he is holding off, he knows he cannot edge himself anymore. so he brings thumb to your clit to add the extra stimulation. as soon as you feel his finger on your sensitive nub, you’re grabbing onto the first thing that comes across your hands – suguru’s shoulders, his biceps, the sheet underneath you. the coil inside your tummy snaps, and your orgasm gushes down geto’s cock. your pussy becomes so tight, it’s impossible to hold back anymore so suguru follows right behind you. he keeps fucking you through your orgasm feeling your tight gummy walls suck him dry. your legs are shaking from the overwhelming feeling of pleasure and the position you're in, and you try to pull yourself away from being overstimulated.
"baby, 's too much..." you try to let him know but he just kisses you again and keeps circling his thumb on your clit.
"aw, are you saying my girl can't take it anymore?" he hits the gummy spot inside of you again and that almost brings you to tears. you know that it must be almost painful for him as well, his softening dick still throbbing inside you but geto does not seem to care. only once he sees the tears running down the sides of your face that he finally slows down.
you’re trying to catch your breath, slow inhales and exhales to bring yourself back to earth. sorcerer hovers above you, and you can still feel him twitching inside. he brings his gaze to where your bodies connect, the intimacy of vulnerability of this moment making him dizzy. suguru starts pulling out and looks at the mess leaking out of you, the combined releases slowly dripping from your hole and down between your ass cheeks. you whine at the sudden emptiness, and despite the shaking legs, overstimulation and the aftershocks of your first orgasm, you already yearn for another. you flutter your eyelids open and pleadingly look at geto, praying he would know exactly what you need right now. he clearly sees the hunger swimming in your eyes but he loves nothing more but to hear you beg.
“what happened, angel? you’ve been fucked so stupid, you can’t even use your words anymore? i bet that’s true, my dick got you so dumb.” you squirm at his words because no matter how hard you try, his mocking tone makes your pussy tighten around nothing and you whimper. "weren't you the one just crying that you can't take it anymore? dick so good you can't even decide if you want more or not?"
“please sugu…” you ask breathlessly, and suguru chuckles darkly. he doesn’t give in into a simple plea and starts kissing down your neck, making his way in between your boobs and licking the sweat that pooled there. he knows you can do better than this.
“you have to give me more than that, pretty girl. what do you need?” he gathers the dripping cum with his two fingers and pushes them back inside you. at the same time, he takes your nipple into his mouth and gently sucks on it. the combined feeling of his fingers going in and out your throbbing core and tongue leisurely licking and sucking on your hardened nipple makes you quiver with anticipation. “still not talking, huh?”
suguru draws a circle around your nipple and then bites on it, making you gasp. he releases it and then blows on the wet skin and that sends shivers down your spine. the juxtaposition of hot skin and cold air makes you wetter and you can’t take it anymore. you finally give your lover what he’s been waiting for.
“i want you to clean me, sugu.”
“and how do you want me to do it?”
“with your tongue. please please please, i need it so bad, i really really need, please clean me up 'guru,” you say through tearful voice. it’s not good enough of begging, he will have to teach you (again) better later, but geto is also running out of patience. he wants to taste the sweet mess between your legs, and he wants you to fall apart around his tongue again. so he languidly trails kisses between your breasts, on your stomach and all the way down to your cunt while still pumping his fingers in and out of you. he only stops once he’s face to face with your wanting hole.
“so beautiful, my girl is always so beautiful and ready for me,” and you’re not sure if he’s talking to you or your pussy. he kisses the inside of your thighs first, tickling you with the locks that left his manbun. he didn’t slow his fingers once, adding more speed, curling them so he can reach the spot that makes you lose you breath and wonder if you were made to always be in this position, for him only. he finally brings his mouth to your puffy lips and spreads your folds so he can see the clit dying for his attention. he lightly slaps it, which earns a surprised gasp from you, and then finally licks up from your hole to you clit sucking on your sensitive nub.
the whole world could collapse now and both of you would not care. geto groans from the taste he’s been dying to have ever since he walked through the doors, and you’re sure moans that escape your throat will make the devil blush if he wasn't present in the room with you. suguru starts lapping at your clit: he’s fully in control of long languid strokes of his tongue that makes your ears ring. he adds now a third finger into you, and the stretch is almost painful again even if you took him raw not even 10 minutes ago. raven-haired sorcerer can feel your walls tighten around his fingers again so he keeps abusing that gummy spot inside, curling them just at the right angle, while he’s licking up your lower lips and sucking your pearl.
you grab the hair tie that holds his almost non-existent bun and take it out of his hair letting the long locks drape all over your thighs and frame his face. you glance down and you think he looks absolutely mesmerizing like this – eating you out like it's his life line, your hand in his hair massaging his scalp, suguru’s moans vibrating against your clit. you grind on his face, bringing yourself even closer, desperate to get to the top of the orgasm you started climbing again.
“someone’s so needy,” geto chuckles.
“yes, baby, please, i need to come, please let me come again,” you plead with him, and he finally gives you what you want. suguru speeds up his fingers once again, swirling his tongue near your entrance to catch your release and then up the inner lips back to the clit where he keeps sucking on your almost overstimulated bud. you weave your fingers through his hair and tug, just enough to let geto know you’re very close. your breathing becomes shallow and you want to continue looking at your lover performing his magic but the orgasm waves are threatening to drown you, so you close your eyes and let go.
suguru feels your cunt tighten around his fingers and he withdraws them from your hole so he can drink up your juices instead. he is pushing his tongue inside you, tasting your sweet release, and he can swear he can taste his own cum that he pushed back into you before. you moan out his name over and over again, repeating it like mantra with “please don’t stop” and “this feel so so good” sprinkled in between your incoherent babbling. geto is unrelenting and he fucks you with his tongue through your second orgasm, not missing a single drop you have to offer him.
once he can feel you start to relax, he withdraws from your abused pussy to admire his work: the mess of your combined releases and his spit on your cunt glistens in the moonlight peaking through the curtains, and suguru thinks he’s never seen as anything as beautiful as this. he reaches for the phone in his pants and opens up a camera.
“i would submit a photo of your pussy like this to a modern museum of art if only anyone else was worthy enough to look at it,” geto says as he snaps couple of pictures of your spread legs. the blush creeps up your cheeks and you hide behind your hands (suguru thinks it’s cute he can still manage to make you blush). once he’s satisfied with the results, he climbs back on top of you. geto looks at your fucked out face and thinks this is the only thing worth to be alive for right now. so he kisses you deep and hard hoping you can feel all of him in the kiss. you softly cup his face and kiss him back, tasting yourself on his lips.
suguru pushes himself back to sit down on his knees and takes in your naked body. you look up at him with the gaze full of adoration, hunger, longing and ache, and he is falling in love all over again. geto stands up from the bed and walks over to the bathroom to grab the towel, leaving the room for a minute shortly after to grab you a bottle of water you keep in your mini fridge. you whine lightly at the loss of his body near you but you’re not even given time to complain before suguru is back by your side in a record time.
“drink this, angel.”
“thank you, my love.”
“anything for you.”
he brings the cup to your lips and carefully tips it so you’re not choking on the water. once you down the full glass, he spreads your legs and cleans everything by gently swiping away the residual liquids. you let him take care of you in a way that’s comforting to him, turning you and cleaning you like a porcelain doll he’s scared of breaking.
suguru is always so gentle after sex. no matter how hard he fucks you or how overstimulated he may make you at times, the absolute tenderness in the way he treats you after never fails to tug at your heartstrings. once he determines you’re clean enough to go to sleep now, he throws the towel into your laundry basket and lies down besides you. you turn to face him and press a soothing kiss to his lips.
“i love you.”
“i love you too, sugu. now go to sleep, you need to rest.”
and with that, geto throws his arms around your waist, traps your legs with his legs and brings you so close as if he’s scared you will slip away.
sleep tight, princess. i will see you again in a new world.
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“huh?”
“don’t make me repeat myself. suguru killed everyone in the village and…”
“i heard you the first time. that's why i said, "huh?"
you could see satoru was angry and in denial. and you cannot blame him, after all, he didn’t notice (or didn't want to notice) the abyss that was pulling suguru deeper and deeper every day, it’s no wonder he is in denial of what geto has done, what he has been contemplating of doing for the past year. sure, you wouldn’t have guessed he would take things this far but you saw the darkness slowly seeping through the broken crevices of his façade, you knew it was only a matter of time before he snaps. satoru kept saying something about how this cannot be true but his words sound as if they are coming through a vacuum.
your lack of response makes yaga turn to you. you can see his mouth moving but no words can be distinguished. he calls your name, and you try harder to concentrate on the next question.
“can you hear me? did you know about this?”
“are you asking me if i knew suguru would massacre 112 people?” you snap at him. taking a deep breath, you try controlling the bubbling emotions inside. geto has been on a radio silence for a full week now, and you can’t help but feel hurt and betrayed; and deep down you know that you would never be able to leave him, even if you knew about what he was going to do from the very beginning.
“that’s exactly what i’m asking.”
“no, i didn’t know that. i’d think you have more faith in me that just letting my boyfriend to go on a murder spree.” liar, you think to yourself, you’re such a fucking liar. faith does not mean anything to either of you anymore, and if suguru wanted you to open your chest and give him your heart for his amusement, or if he asked you to drench yourself in the blood of the people he murdered, you would do it in a heartbeat. “and before you ask, i don’t know where he is. he’s been ignoring my calls and messages ever since he took that mission.”
both satoru and yaga let out a deep exhale: satoru’s sounds defeated and almost broken (you think he might be trying to hold back tears); yaga’s is resigned and exhausted. no one speaks anymore, and the silent agreement is made to go separate ways for the day.
you don’t know how to feel about this whole situation. you think you feel hurt, betrayed, shocked. and you know that you’re the only person who feels this way not because suguru committed a crime worthy of death penalty but because he didn’t trust you enough to let you know about his plans in the first place. didn’t the past year two of you spent together show him the depth of your loyalty? did all of the nights spent tangled in sheets meant nothing? when you would let him do whatever he wanted to your body because being lost in the feeling of earthly pleasure was the only way he could feel grounded? you wanted to believe that all of that meant more than just him fucking you to oblivion to forget about the pain tearing him apart. should have you done it differently? maybe made him talk, open up, let you see inside his troubled mind? you’ve been trying to call him and message him every day ever since he ghosted you, and today’s discovery just made the pit inside your heart grow even bigger.
you finally reach your dorm room. you drop on your bed as soon as you step inside, clothes be damned, and grab suguru’s sweater he left on your chair, deeply inhaling his scent. you think about “i love you” he told you the last night you saw him a week ago; you think about all the times he kissed you so deeply, it felt like he was trying to carve out a home somewhere between your teeth. you think about his eyes, and the way they glistened with that special spark every time he looked at you. and you wonder if all of the significant memories of you together were only significant to you.
you body and mind feels heavy so you close your eyes and curl yourself into a fetal position, hugging suguru’s sweater even tighter. the tears start pooling in the corners of your eyes, and you don’t remember when was the last time that you cried yourself to sleep.
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4:35pm
im sorry i haven’t said anything
4:35pm
but this was something i needed to do on my own
4:36pm
pls come to this address ill explain everything
4:36pm
[sent location]
suguru keeps staring at his phone screen. ever since he disappeared a week ago, he’s been ignoring your attempts to contact him. he wanted to make sure that the coast is clear, and all of the ties are cut off before he can contact you again. leaving his best friend behind was painful; but geto is not a child, and he understands that him and satoru will never see eye-to-eye on this matter. that’s why he had to say goodbye to him today the way he did. but leaving you behind? unimaginable. so he feels his anxiety bubbling up when he hasn’t received a response back to the messages he sent you 8 hours ago.
he feels a small tug on his sleeve.
“geto-sama?” a small voice is unsure and almost scared. he looks down at the dark-haired girl. mimiko. her big doe eyes glistening with tears and face is covered with bruises that still haven’t faded: his heart breaks at the sight and he is wondering about how long the abuse was going on for before he discovered them in a cage, locked away like animals. the mere thought of that place fills him with burning rage.
“yes?”
“when will we leave this place? nanako says it reminds her of our old house, and it’s scaring her,” mimiko whispers back. and it’s so quiet, it saddens geto again thinking how many times their little voices were never heard.
“we will leave soon, i promise.”
suguru looks out of the window of this abandoned building. he had to take a temporary cover here before he can figure out what happens next. his thoughts drift back to you. he’s wondering if you’ve been interrogated about his whereabouts yet, if they used any techniques on making you talk. he swears if any of the higher-ups got to you before he could figure out how to leave jujutsu high behind, the massacred village will be the least of their worries.
he wonders if he misread your constant acceptance in the past year. he wonders if you’ll come screaming at him too, asking why he did it and that maybe it’s not too late to come back. but what he is scared of the most is to see the fear in your eyes when you see him again: they should be scared of him, but not you, never you.
suguru thinks about the last night you spent together, and the i love yous exchanged in the darkness of the night. he knows he meant it, he’s sure you meant it too, so what is this sinking feeling growing deeper somewhere inside his ribcage? he thinks it’s fear but a different kind this time – he dreamt of building his new world with you by his side so now that he’s on the silent end of the phone, he fears he was wrong, yet again.
but before geto can drown any deeper in the overwhelming feeling of possible loss, he senses your cursed energy. he springs to his feet, and the very next minute, the door to the room where they are now creaks opened.
“suguru?” your voice pierces through the oppressive silence, and geto releases the breath he didn’t realize he was holding in. he crosses the room in three big steps and hugs you so tight, all the air from your lungs is immediately pushed out.
“god, i am so happy you’re here. i was worried you wouldn’t come when you didn’t respond to my messages.”
“baby, i had to get all of your stuff first, didn’t know if you needed anything, and i had to time when i sneak out without leaving any traces, higher-ups are on high alert now and… wait, you were worried i didn’t respond to your messages?” you point an accusatory finger at him. “what about all the messages and calls you ignored from me for the last week? what about the fact that i am finding out about whatever you’ve been doing from yaga out of all people? i thought you left me, i thought…” you stop yourself as your lips start trembling and you bite down on your lower lip to prevent the tears threatening to fall.
suguru looks at you in shock. he didn’t even consider the fact that this could be a sign of him abandoning you. because how could he? after everything you’ve done for him, unconditionally? after everything he's done for you? didn’t he make it clear that you’re stuck with him, for better or for worse, and that he does not intend on letting you go?
“i’m sorry, i should’ve thought about how things looked from your perspective. i am really glad you’re here now, i will never do something like this to you ever again, i promise,” and he cradles your face in his hands so gently, you really wonder if these are the same hands that are capable of murdering 112 people. “i love you, always and forever.”
“i love you too," he softly whispers. "by the way, i want you to meet someone,” he takes your hand in his and leads you further to the middle of the room. you're just now noticing another presence and then you see them: two little girls huddled together on a couch. they move their gaze from suguru to you as if confirming you're safe to approach.
"mimiko, nanako, this is my girlfriend," geto says your name and the girl slowly repeat it back. you squad down to bring yourself to their face level and gently smile.
"it's very nice to meet you, mimiko and nanako," you ruffle their hair, and suguru realizes that that's exactly the same thing that he did to them the first time he saw them. a warm feeling spreads inside his chest at this thought, something he hasn't felt in a while. "i hope we can be good friends soon!"
the girls are still shy and don't say anything back but they don't look as scared anymore. you bring yourself back to your full height and turn to suguru. he responds to your silent question.
"i saved them during the mission i went on last week. they were locked away in the cage, like goddamn animals," you can see the anger babbling up again so you just put your head in his chest and hug him. geto visibly relaxes and kisses the crown of your head.
"you're my new family now, i don't need anyone else," suguru says, and he fully means it. you don't bring up the real family he killed, or the friends he massacred in his village. you don't bring it up because it won't change a thing for you.
suguru cups your face again, leans down and kisses you on the lips like he has never kissed you before, or like he will never have a chance to kiss you again. it knocks the wind out of you, and your knees go weak so suguru needs to hold you upright. and no matter what anyone else might think or say, this feels right, being here enveloped in his arms, pressed against his chest, tasting nicotine on his tongue. you know this is exactly where you belong – in his arms, between his lips, in his heart, always and forever.
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© rinniessance do not steal, plagiarize or translate my works. do not recommend me on tiktok, thank you
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1K notes · View notes
odetojupiter · 4 months
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so, we know that abuse and victim responses to abuse are very central to aftg, but what i find interesting is how other characters respond to the victim’s reactions, especially when it comes to mourning their abuser. there’s something about kevin mourning riko, aaron mourning tilda, neil mourning mary, andrew mourning cass, thats so important to me because it really truly highlights how even when people are united through similar traumas, the differences in their situations makes it impossible to fully understand the relationship a person has to their abuser. neil, aaron, and andrew are united through the abuse, neglect, or - what the fuck is the word i’m thinking of? permit? condone? i mean, knowingly allowing it to happen and not intervening - stemming from a maternal figure. but neil can’t understand why andrew would hold on to cass for so long - he refused to let her go until aaron came into the picture. and andrew can’t understand why aaron would mourn for tilda, potentially viewing aaron’s grief as a betrayal of their promise. and they all ridicule kevin for his reactions to riko. of course, neil and andrew are also abused by riko, but they still can’t understand the complicated relationship between kevin and riko because, at the end of the day, they just weren’t there.
i mean this is primarily an observation but i really love how trauma and trauma response is depicted as nuanced, complex and overall just difficult to understand from an outsider perspective in the books. it reads as really real, and though it can be frustrating when a character doesn’t understand a different character’s response, you have to understand that their perception of said character’s response is warped by their own experience of abuse.
andrew bounced from home to home, never had stability, so obviously he held tight on to the first mother-figure that didn’t outright hurt him. his self-worth was probably low enough that he thought living with drake was a fine price to pay to keep cass.
neil only ever had his mother, and he’d willingly accept her harsh hands because he believed she was just keeping him safe from the very real dangers that were closing in on them.
aaron was dealing with an addiction, and so was his mother; he was equally dependent on her to avoid withdrawal as he was scared of her anger.
i don’t really have a point anymore but you get what i’m saying
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haeryna · 5 months
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the sadness we shared is my clarity ⋆.˚✮🎧✮˚.⋆ ↪ fushiguro megumi x reader
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summary: it's spring when fushiguro megumi finds you. it's summer when he realizes he loves you. but as the days shorten, and time runs out, megumi realizes you're slipping away.
tw: angst, as per usual. mentions of gore, and sexual tension but nothing explicit or nsfw. you and megumi are both idiots. half of this was churned out in a day so please give the author grace. not proofread. arrangedmarriage!au and friends to enemies to lovers. megumi is Mean. mutual pining, so much that i want to throw up. mmm yummy clan politics
notes: banner by the lovely @/cafekitsune! title taken from txt's deja vu. had this fic rotting in my head and in my drive. dedicated to riko, for being one of the first mooties i ever had. love you @riaki !!
also i'm sorry everyone for vanishing off the face of the earth pls accept this fic as an apology :'))
part one/??
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It’s summer, and the air in Kawasaki is miserably hot and oppressive. Tacky skin clings to thick cloth, and Megumi grimaces at the feeling. Gojo had finally decided to send all the first years together on a mission to deal with a group of Grade 3 spirits, deeming his pupils “worthy to finally make their debut!” To celebrate, Nobara had corralled everyone to a small cafe, located near the train station. “Cmon, this place has air conditioning, and Ijichi won’t be here for at least another hour,” she insists, fingers wrapped around the curve of your wrist. Begrudgingly, Megumi follows along, heavy with the knowledge that where you go, he'll follow.
He can’t help but sneak glances over, as you and Nobara fawn over the icy desserts and drinks the cafe has to offer. The soft swoop of your neck is revealed as you lean in closer to peer at the deserts hidden behind the glass. A bead of sweat trickles down into the hollow of your collarbone, and Megumi swallows hard, forcing himself to look away. The flush on his cheeks is from the summer heat, he tells himself. He can’t quite bring himself to believe it. 
“Fushiguro!” you call out, and he forces himself to look at you. “What is it?” 
“Aren’t you going to get a drink?”
Megumi hesitates, before grumbling an affirmative. As the other three move to secure a table, he turns to face the cashier. She seems younger than him by a few years, makeup done even in the hot weather with mascaraed eyelashes batting at him innocently. She misses the proffered bills, running her hand along his, before apologizing a bit breathily. “It’s fine,” Megumi sighs. His thoughts wander as the cashier chatters away mindlessly. You were favoring your right side. Were you injured? Had one of the curses somehow reached you before he could stop them? Your technique had seemed to wane towards the end of the fight. Were you overexerted? Did he have to speak to Gojo about how hard he’d been training you? 
He pulls himself from his thoughts just in time to notice the cashier leaning over the counter, watching him curiously. “Would you like a receipt, sir?” 
“No,” is his curt reply, shoving all of his traitorous thoughts of you deep down inside of himself. The cashier pouts. “If you fill out a survey, you can get five dollars off on your purchase!” 
Megumi can feel himself grimacing. Nobara would kick his ass if he didn’t at least take it and offer it to her. “Fine then.” As he turns back to the table, he scowls at the too-bright smile on Yuuji’s face. “What’s that look for?” 
“Fushiguro, she was totally hitting on you!” 
He swats away the eager high five. “Did the curses fuck with your brain or something?” 
“No, seriously, look at the receipt she gave you!” 
Megumi can feel the heat of your gaze as he unravels the receipt. Under the printed text of “FIVE DOLLARS OFF AFTER SURVEY COMPLETION!” was a line of neatly printed numbers. Scowling, he shoves the offending piece of paper in your direction. “Here. Take it.” 
“I don’t want your leftovers,” you shoot back, eyes blazing, and his traitorous heart wrenches. “It’s not for the number, idiot. Weren’t you and Kugisaki just complaining about spending that much money on drinks? Take the survey and stop whining.” 
He lets himself fall back in the familiar rhythm of bickering with Nobara as she swats at him. He’ll do anything to avoid the way your offended gaze turns thoughtful, how you seem to study his face as he forces himself to continue the lie he’s let himself live. You cannot be his, Megumi thinks desperately, even after the four of you depart the cafe, and after you toss the crumpled up wad of paper into the trash can. Even as you fall asleep in the backseat of the car, head perched onto his shoulder, he fights down the growing panic and nausea. He would rather break his own heart in the process than let you suffer from his affections. 
Cursed, he thinks. There’s a reason his mother passed, his father killed, and his sister stolen away. He’s as cursed as the shadows that seep from his domain with their tendrils that wrap and curl over every inch of light. Megumi has already accepted that the feelings that grow by the day can never be revealed. You, with your sunshine laugh, whose tender hands would always reach for him after a mission. Fushiguro, you’d say, kindly. You’re hurt again. Let me grab the first aid kit. You, with your hands that are soft and gentle, as much as Megumi’s hands are calloused and stained. 
I love you, he finally admits, as he carries you from the car back to your room. Yuuji had an ankle injury, and Nobara couldn’t handle hauling your weight up the stairs leading back to Jujutsu Tech. At least, that’s what he tells himself, as he shifts your weight in his arms, feeling the way you subconsciously pressed yourself closer to him. I love you. Your eyelashes flutter in your sleep, brow crinkling ever so slightly. Gently, Megumi smoothes it over with his thumb. I love you. 
Fushiguro Megumi was by no means a religious man. He’d known that there was no god in the battlefields of a sorcerer, no mercy in the torturous death that only curses could offer. And yet, as he lowers you down to the comfort of your mattress, he finds himself praying. I’ll do anything, he thinks, as he watches you in the depths of your slumber. I’ll give up my body, my soul, my life. Just please let her live. Please let her be happy. 
Please give her someone that could take better care of her than I ever could. 
Fushiguro Megumi found you in the first rainfall of spring. 
You hadn't noticed him, quietly watching the droplets fall on the sakura trees planted near the perimeter of Jujutsu Tech. The edges of your kimono were stained with mud, with a chunk of your haori ripped out on the left side. Megumi frowned. Silk, he noted, and gold. You’re dressed too well to be here, but too oblivious to be a threat. Just to be sure, he let his fingers curl around the handle of one of his tonfas before he spoke. 
“Who are you?” 
Startled, you turned to face him, and his scowl deepened. You were pretty, even with your eyes rounded in shock, and the undignified noise that had escaped you when you realized you weren’t alone. When you told him your name, voice hesitant, Megumi couldn't help but hate the way his heart reacted as you spoke. 
“I’m looking for Gojo Satoru,” you finished, teeth sinking into the plush of your bottom lip as you waited for his response. Megumi swallowed hard.
“A lot of people do.” He kept his tone steady, forced himself not to let the heat in his chest rise to his face. “What’s a Kamo doing here, looking for him?” 
Megumi had heard of you, of course. Gojo had raised him with at least a basic understanding of the three Big Families, and their prominent figures from both the past and present. The half-sister to Noritoshi Kamo, you had been held behind while your elders sent him away to the sister school in Kyoto. Women, Gojo had said, tone playful but eyes cold, are seen as nothing more than breeding stock and political pawns. They’ll probably keep her there until she’s married off. 
Something seems to settle inside you, and Megumi can’t help but watch, ensnared in the web you weave. Your hands smooth over the creases in your kimono as you exhaled, shoulders rounding back. Even covered in grime you radiated elegance, though you were betrayed by the still-skittish look in your eyes. “I’m here to make a deal with him.” 
A few days after the four of you had returned from your assignment in Kawasaki, you realized that Megumi was behaving rather oddly. 
At first, he seemed moody. Tired, you assumed. With promotions coming up, Gojo-sensei had been training the four of you even more rigorously than usual. Your mornings were filled with research, analyzing the few texts that Jujutsu Tech had recovered on cursed techniques that were even remotely similar to your own. The evenings were spent sparring, with thick dust kicked up under the lukewarm breeze, and the faint howls of Megumi’s shikigami in the distance. 
Sighing, you squat down, calling softly into the woods until one of his Divine Dogs trot out, tongue lolling out happily. You can’t help the wistful smile that tugs at your lips as you run your fingers through soft, black fur. They’d taken a liking to you, after you started carrying a few dog treats in your gear to give to them. Megumi had always complained that you spoiled them, babied them too much. You couldn’t help it. You loved his shikigami dearly. 
What did that say about you? The thought makes you lightheaded for a moment. The heat, you think, a bit desperate. It was all the heat. 
“You’re late.” 
You tilt your head backwards, startling at how close he’d gotten to you. He’s dressed for the summer heat, ditching his uniform for something more practical. Linen pants brush by you as he reaches your side, and your heart seems to convulse when you realize you can see the slight ripple of muscle under the fabric of his shirt.  Heat flares in your cheeks and you look away. Stormy eyes study you, a flicker of something predatory passing through them before he turns to his shikigami. 
“And you. Stop running off like that.” 
The Divine Dog whines, and you crinkle your nose, turning back to meet his gaze. “I was calling for it because I couldn’t find you. You weren’t where we normally spar.” 
“Gojo wanted us to use the other fields.” 
“Fine, fine.” Petulant, you reach for his wrist, hoisting yourself up off the ground. Before you can even speak, he’s tearing it from your grasp as though you’ve burnt him. “Hurry up. We’re losing light.” 
You follow after him quietly, ignoring the sting in your hand from the phantom contact. He’s probably overwhelmed with the work we’ve been doing, you remind yourself, yet you can’t help the slight feeling of dread that runs up your spine. His dog noses at your palm, whining softly, as thought it can sense your distress. Its owner however seems none the wiser. 
“Why did you want to spar today? Didn’t Gojo-sensei say we could take today off?”  
“The next mission is the one that the higher-ups are sending us on to see if we should be recommended for a higher grade. That means it’s going to be more dangerous than usual.” 
The trees clear to reveal a clearing, grass matted down from hours of sparring. “I hate when you’re right.” 
Megumi spares you a sharp glance but says nothing else. “Warm up quickly. I want to be back before it gets dark.” 
You stretch out under the waning light, letting your technique run through your body for a few moments. Cheating, Yuuji would insist, but you would be lying if you said you weren’t eager for a fight. The upcoming mission loomed over you, anxiety building as you thought about the uncertainties of it all. You hadn’t trusted the higher-ups from the beginning, and you especially didn’t trust them in any circumstance where Itadori Yuuji’s life was at risk. You exhale, feeling the familiar buzz of your cursed energy flow as you move. “Okay. I’m ready.” 
Sparring with Megumi feels like a dance, more than anything else. He was your partner long before Yuuji and Nobara had even transferred to Tokyo, and your body has been trained to move as seamlessly with him as possible. Every step forward he takes you step back, and with each swing of the staff, your katana rises up to meet up. You lose yourself in it for a moment, watching the way his jaw clenches in concentration, eyebrows furrowed as you narrowly avoid a pointed elbow. A sharp jab of your blade, and Megumi is suddenly right in front of you. The air leaves your lungs in his presence taking in the scent of his laundry detergent and the slightest tinge of the soap he uses. He takes advantage of your distraction to disarm you, flipping you neatly into a hold. 
“Yield,” he says, pressing his knee down into your stomach a little more firmly. You try your best to ignore the sight of him kneeled between your legs as you try to kick out from under him. His eyes darken at the sight of you, pinned and struggling to free yourself. 
“Yield,” he says, once more, and you do, letting your body rest against the ground as you stare up at him. There’s a bead of sweat trickling down his temple, the veins of his slender hands raised as he holds his staff. You let your hand curl against the wood of it, feeling the pressure of it resting on your throat. 
“I yield,” you say, and in that moment you know that you have. Fushiguro Megumi has stolen your heart from the day you met him. I’d give you everything, you realize, as Megumi helps you to your feet. There are 35 trillion blood cells in the human body, and every single one of them runs for you. You let your fingers intertwine with his for the briefest moment before forcing yourself to pull away. I would do anything to have you. My greatest sin and my holiest salvation wrapped into a single body. 
“That was a good fight,” he tells you, taking your silence for sulking. Maybe I wanted to lose. Maybe I did want to fall for you. Would that be such a sin? 
“Thanks,” is your stilted answer, the setting sun sealing your fate. You’re in love with Fushiguro Megumi. And you don’t quite know what to do about it. 
The mission is simple enough, until it isn’t. An abandoned hospital, Ijitchi had said in the car ride over. Residual curses had been spotted clinging to the interior, feeding off of an unknown source within. Intel had suggested that it was a Grade 2 spirit at most. You watch as Nobara takes a bit too much pleasure in nailing the swarms of weak curses that had greeted you at the entrance, Yuuji laughing at how easily his fists send them to a rather unpleasant demise. Yet, you can’t shake the feeling of unease that settles over you. This is too easy for a promotion mission. What were they hiding? 
Then Megumi opens the doors to what would’ve been the emergency room, and all hell breaks loose. 
Bloodstains, bright red, catch your eye first. They’re splattered all over the room, on the floor, curtains, and on the hospital sheets yellowed with age. You see the bones next. Human; skulls, ribcages, femurs, all picked clean and white enough to shine under the fluorescent lighting. The light flickers. A tumorous mass sits in the center of the room, a conglomeration of hair, teeth, and eyes that blink slowly at you. Your spine stiffens, and immediately, you pull Megumi towards you as a ropelike strand of hair tightens around the spot where he was standing. 
Those fuckers. A Semi-Grade 1? 
“Megumi,” is all you can make out. In the hallway, you can hear something more menacing, something equally as terrible as what sits in the room inside with you. You can hear Nobara’s cry of pain as a nauseating crack rips through the air. They won’t survive without him. “I’m sorry.” 
His eyes widen in understanding a fraction too late as you gather all your energy and shove him back out into the corridor as the curse flings a file cabinet at you. It crashes into the door, and you can hear Megumi calling your name with something that sounds like desperation. The hinges rattle as he throws his weight against it, but the cabinet holds firm. When you turn to face the curse in front of you, the look in its eyes is amused as you draw your blade. A cavernous maw opens, splitting it down the center as misshapen lumps of flesh spill out. Smaller curses, remnants of the innocents it had lured and devoured. A sudden chill goes through your body. 
This isn’t a Semi-Grade. This is a full-fledged Grade 1. 
There’s something vicious in the way you move, tearing through cursed spirits as though they’re paper. Ichor stains the ground around you, as red as the blood you channel through your veins. Dimly, you think you’re screaming. It was a set up, you think desperately. Of course the higher-ups would try to kill Itadori Yuuji at any cost. They didn’t give a fuck about you, or Nobara, or Megumi. Fury fills the cavern of your chest as you lunge for the hulking Grade 1, as it grotesquely pushes out the corpse of one of its victims into something far more sinister. You rip it to shreds without a second thought. 
The sound of steel on flesh makes the hair of your arms rise as you finally manage to cut a nasty gash into the misshapen curse in front of you. It howls in pain, tendrils reaching for your body as you leap away. Instead, the tendrils open the serrated wound a bit further, opening a new pocket for its children to crawl out of. That was the first blow you’d been able to land; ten minutes have passed since you trapped yourself inside a room with it. Will you make it out alive? You shake the thought away angrily.
Gritting your teeth, you increase your blood flow, shooting it down to your legs and the fibers of your muscles. Your blade shines as it cuts down curses, the Grade 1 merely watching with a demeanor that you can only describe as bored. It’s toying with you, you realize, but what pricks your heart isn’t fear, but resignation. Your foot catches on the rubble for only a moment, and the Grade 1 moves, slamming you into the wall with enough force for you to feel your ribs shatter. Blood fills your mouth and you choke, lungs heaving. Punctured, your technique tells you, a liter gone. The air tastes like iron and salt, and you realize with a start that you’re dying. 
You feel oddly calm as the world spins, watching as the ropes of hair approach your prone body. The last thing you see is the door shattering open, and the look in Megumi’s eyes as he sees you. There’s terror in his normally stoic expression, his arm outstretched towards you as Nue dives for you. Nobara and Yuuji are moving, but all you can see is him. His hands are bloodied at the fingertips, as though he’d been clawing at the door with his own hands to pry it open, his lips moving soundlessly. There’s a dull ringing in your ears, the toll of death that signals your end. His hand cups your face, and you allow yourself to lean into it for a moment, reveling in the touch. I could die like this, is your final thought as you succumb to your injuries. I’m happy that you’re holding me, Megumi.
The world around you feels muted, when you finally awaken. Your vision is blurred as you peel your eyelids back, and you wince at the sensation. How long have you been out for? Slowly, the blurred tinges of light start to focus. A lamp, dimly lit to your right on the nightstand next to a pitcher of water and an empty cup. A punctured lung, a liter gone. Your hand drifts to the bandages that wrap your chest, carefully letting your cursed technique scan your body. A few lacerations, but for the most part you were fine. Crisp sheets rustle as you sit up, examining your surroundings. The hospital in the infirmary. Somehow, they managed to bring you back. 
Megumi’s eyes, so desperate and lost as his hand reached for you. 
You try not to think about it, as you carefully test your body. Your limbs ache, but that’s to be expected. Your hair has been neatly pulled away from your face; Nobara’s work, no doubt. Her screams from behind the door, the dread in your chest when you realized they might not survive without Megumi. You watch your fingers shake as you reach for the water, letting it soothe away the pain in your throat. Did she even make it? Did they live? 
The door opens, startling you from your thoughts. Megumi stands in the doorway, hand pushing through his hair. You take a moment to examine him, noting the dark circles under his pale skin, and how his long hair seemed mussed. His eyes scan the room, passing over you before focusing on you with startling clarity. 
“You’re awake.” 
Hesitantly, you nod, as he drops into the seat beside you. “Did…did they…”
He cuts you off before you can even finish your sentence. “Kugisaki and Itadori are fine.” 
You stare down at your hands, letting the silence wash over you. Yet, you’re dimly aware of how suffocating it feels, how your shoulders were unable to relax even with the knowledge that your friends were alive and safe. Megumi continues to watch you, but before you can say something, anything,  his voice fills the air, terse and clipped. 
“What the fuck were you thinking?” 
Startled, your eyes meet his. “What?” 
“Did you think I was too weak? That I couldn’t handle it just because you’ve been a Grade 2 longer than I have?” The eyes that normally watched you with a hint of affectionate exasperation were cold, and hard. “You behaved recklessly. Did you even think about how it impacted the rest of us? Because of you, Kugisaki broke her leg, and Itadori almost had his arm cleaved off. You did all of that just for the rest of us to find you half dead in a puddle of your own bones and blood.” 
“Stop it,” you whisper, but Megumi’s voice only twists into something far more cruel. “You thought you were being so brave, sacrificing yourself, only to realize that you weren’t that special. You couldn’t even take down that Grade 1 alone. Kugisaki had to save you, even as she was practically screaming from the pain.” 
“Megumi,” you whisper, and he pauses, clearly unused to his name falling from your lips. “Why are you so angry at me?” Your voice breaks ever so slightly and you bite your lip hard enough to taste blood, ashamed at the wetness in your eyes. “Where is this coming from? I don’t understa-” 
He slams his palm against the wooden surface of your bedside table, rattling the drawers. “Are you really that stupid to ask what you did wrong? You fucked up. I thought you were different, but in reality, you’re no better than the rest of your clan, are you? You’re just another filthy Kamo.” 
Your hands shake as you twist them into the off-white infirmary sheets. “What are you talking about?” 
Megumi laughs, but it’s jaded, sharp. “Congratulations. You’re being promoted to a Semi-Grade 1, all because of your little stunt that landed the rest of us into hospital beds. Even though we all had to help you finish it off, they’re only choosing you. I wonder why.” 
“Megumi.” Your voice rises, as your heart finally shatters. “I did it because I thought you would die, you know that. I don’t give a fuck about the politics of the higher ups, or my clan, or even my grade. I just wanted to protect you all. You know that.” 
He rises from the chair next to your side, expression indifferent to the tears that are rolling down your cheeks. “As if I’d believe you.” 
“Megumi,” you call out, desperately, as he walks away. “Megumi!” 
He doesn’t look back, and you’re left alone in the dark with only the moon to bear company as you sob. I don’t understand, you think, deliriously. Can’t you see that I love you? Can’t you see I’d rather die than watch you break in front of me? 
Megumi barely makes it to the lawn before he retches into the bushes. Bile rises in his throat and he squeezes his eyes shut as he replays the moment over and over and over again. For five days, he’d held vigil at your bed. For five days, he realized that your love for him would get you killed. For five days, he’d wrapped his heart in iron, knowing that what he was about to do would break the both of you. I would’ve only gotten you killed, he thinks, numbly. It’s what landed you here in the first place. 
Yet, Megumi can’t stop recalling the exact moment the relief in your eyes had turned into betrayal, how your lips had trembled and your hands shook. Your voice, desperate and pleading, calling his name as he forced his legs to walk away from you. How he can hear your sobs faintly trailing from the windows above, matching the tears that are trailing down his cheeks. 
You’ll hate him forever, he thinks, dazed, as he forces himself onto his feet. You’ll hate him forever, and by god it’ll be the most painful thing he’s ever experienced, but as long as you’re alive he can bear it. As long as he never has to see you there again, laying in a heap of your own blood, eyes dazed and unseeing, he will carry the sins that it takes to keep you alive and away from him. 
I love you. I love you, and I’m sorry that someone like me ever fell for someone like you. I love you so much that the thought of being without me tears me to shreds. I love how you take care of my shikigami like they're your own. I love how every touch you give me heals something that I didn't know I was missing. I love you, and I need you to live more than I need air to breathe.
I love you, and even though I don't think you'll ever forgive me, I'll always follow wherever you go.
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kevinsdsy · 25 days
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i need kevin day’s inner monologue during the foxes vs ravens final rematch.
i need to know what he was thinking when riko spoke japanese to him when they were face to face with each other on the court. i need to know if he disregarded riko as nothing of importance now that he finally dared to commit to being the best or if he was desperately trying to push down a panic attack.
i need to know how deep his annoyance ran when neil and him barely got their hands on the ball during first half.
i need to know if he felt smug about switching to his left hand during second half and i need to know if he even noticed the whole stadium going insane over this new revelation.
i need to know if he thought about jean whenever he got past a backliner and realised it wouldn’t have been this simple if they had to face each other instead.
i need to know his desperate thoughts when he realised they would have to go to shoot outs if he didn’t score, and i need to know if he just brushed it off as unimportant because of course he was going to score, even if it was two seconds before the game ended.
i need to know if his legs gave out on him when he was finally able to stop. i need to know if he was relieved or happy or excited or absolutely horrified by the idea of actually having won against the ravens— a team that has not lost once in history.
in conclusion i just need to know what was going on inside his head at all times— but especially at that time.
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jujutsukgojo · 23 days
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The Baby Project
chapter two
izuku midoriya x reader
Summary:
U.A. decides that raising a fake baby is a good lesson for the future heroes and paired third year classes A and B with a general studies class. When you get stuck with a dead beat, Izuku Midoriya comes to save the day and your grade.
tw: Dead beat parents, sexual harassment (no details), idk if there's anything else?
The baby project is the worst thing to have happened at U.A. At least for you and the rest of your General Studies class that the ‘heroes’ decided to sacrifice for their favored course. 
  “Is this punishment?” 
  The teacher, Snipe, shakes his head. “No, no it’s not.” 
“You sure? Is it because of my last assignment?” Your previous assignment was honest and not popular. Snipe didn’t like what you had to say about heroes. The only thing you regret is that it was almost a hundred slides and you had to hold the class hostage in order to finish it. It was so bad that some of the other teachers had to save them. What were you supposed to do? You worked hard on your presentation and by God, somebody is going to learn from it. It was a solid assignment that you ended up passing, much to your amazement. 
   “It’s not punishment. You’re helping them. They’re about to be sent out there and need that last bit of guidance.” You scoff at your teacher. Are you even going to be graded for this since it is all for them? Then, a thought enters.
“This is because of Endeavor, right?” The room is filled with tension at your referral. What did they expect? It’s the truth. Because of the Todoroki Family’s fiasco, U.A. has decided to help prevent that from happening again in its own way: by giving robotic babies. Not to mention it is at your expense.
“ Toots!” Your friend, Ema, hisses. You just shrug and mouth ‘what?’.
“Yes.” Your eyebrows raise at Snipe’s honesty. “And why are we sacrificed? We’re younger than they are. Let the elderly go first. Just as nature intended.”
 Snipe rubs his face. “Why are you so-no, you’re not being sacrificed. It’s a new assignment that everyone’s doing. My class is just paired up with them.” 
“ Why?"  How are you the only one with questions? There is so much unfairness here!
  “Will you stop?” A girl with bright red hair and reptilian eyes frowns at you. What’s her name again? Sakura or something? “It’s happening, there’s no use fighting it.”
  You sigh and glare at her and your homeroom teacher. 
“Try to get excited. This is the first time U.A. is doing this and you get to set the standard! Think of names and schedules,” He goes from being behind his podium to sitting on the desk in front of it. 
“And time, and sleep, and food-” He interrupts you. “This is new technology, too! This little thing feels, looks, and acts like a real baby. It literally grows and responds as time goes on.”
  The boy with shiny silver hair and four eyes tilts his head. You think his name is Jule? That’s how you’ve always referred to him as and was never corrected. “How old do we have to raise it to be?” 
  Your debate is slowly turning into excitement about the project. A baby to hold and raise. That grows and you’ll be the first at U.A. to do it. You’ll have future pro heroes as the other parent. Not just any of them, the golden class. Class A and B, the ones who fought in wars and defeated the greatest evil. That year alone goes down in history. Your peers still stand in awe as they walk past them in the hallways as do a lot of the school. 
  “Depends on your achievements. The better parent you are, the bigger it gets. Hatsume is the one who made them. For all we know, you guys could raise teenagers,” He turns his head towards you. “And get a taste of your own medicine.”
  “I’d be an excellent parent. I’m just not sure about heroes.”
He points at you. “Keep playing. I dare you.” His threat earns a couple of chuckles in the class and even a smile that you try to fight. 
  Riko, a girl a few rows away from you, bounces in her seat. “Who do we get?” 
“See? Be like Riko.” He gestures to her but stares dead at you. He has always been the teacher that tries to be personal and familiar and use first names. It’s refreshing since you’re so used to using first names anyway.
“Why are you picking with me…” You whine.
  “Because you don’t listen.” You scoff when Ema hums in agreement. “Traitor.” You grumble. 
“Mr. Snipe! Who are we getting?” Riko asks again. You are not surprised to see all of these people be thrilled about it. You raise your hand. 
“ What.” Snipe taps his foot, already tired and the day just started. “Is this going to get in the way of school or is this project not during class hours?” 
  “I forgot about that…” Riko sinks into her seat. Other complaints echo off the walls. Small voices finally decide to ask the right questions. Repeating yours, about finances, hero schedules, are we allowed to go into each other's dorms (of course, that was by Riko). 
  “This is all up to you. Now, they’ll be coming here soon. We’ll draw names then.” 
“What does that mean? How is it up to us?”
   Benio turns to you and says, “He means if we raise it right, it won’t go off. Depending on how good of a parent you are, kind of thing.”
You slump in your seat with growing stress. It’s going to grow. You’re not being graded on how much it cries or something like you did in middle school. No, this is like reality. Because of the hero course, you’re going to be somebody’s baby mama. 
“I hope I get Deku…” Ema says to herself and sports a light blush. She’s always been an Izuku Midoriya fan for as long as you’ve known her, which hasn’t been for very long. After the big showdown, he only had embers of whatever the hell the quirk was. Over time, he trained those embers to make them stronger and to be his own. No ghost guidance or whatever and a bad history attached. He was no longer All Might Jr., but Deku. Considered a hero in his own right. Plus, that new suit he got made him a hit among those who liked Batman or other comics. 
   At least that’s how you took the explanation? You're probably forgetting something but if you ask Ema, she’d go on and on. There aren't enough hours in a day for that. 
“I want Todoroki!” Riko squeals and bounces up and down in her seat. You can’t help yourself. “Girl, that’s dangerous.”
  “Making fun of what he’s been through isn’t funny.” Benio, a normal high schooler who is firm in his convictions, rebukes. You turn to him and look into his gold eyes. 
  “I’m not. I’m simply saying that the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. Plus, it’s also the reason for this assignment, right Snipe?”
  Your teacher looks up at you. He’s trying to make it seem that it is to benefit both courses but it’s just not. Not when this whole thing is caused by Endeavor and Touya. Clearly, U.A. is doing this for them, not for General Studies. He even said so. There is nothing for you here other than to train the future pros to be better parents so there wouldn't be another League. 
“Yes. It is also a new program that we’re trying whether you like it or not. It benefits everyone.” Snipe ends short. "What about necessities? Food, money, diapers, all of that. Do we buy our own or do you provide?"
You hate how you have to ask these questions. "U.A. has its own formula, bottles, and diapers. Due to it being mechanical, there's no way normal things would work."
"Do we pay for them?" Snipe nods slowly. Before you can complain again, the door opens and the veteran hero, Eraserhead, enters the room with his students. The future pros stand in line. The majority of them have smiling faces for their juniors. Some are blank. Since the big showdown, they have all grown. Taller, wider, buffer, smarter, all of it. It’s insane to think they were little twerps before. 
  “Where’s Deku?” Ema asks as she looks at all of them. Her pure black eyes survey the future pros. “He’s away right now! He’s training with his new suit, so he’ll be gone for a bit. But you have me!” Kaminari or Calamari whatever the fuck it is, smirks at her. 
   “No thanks.” You snort at her look of disgust. Lips curled, brows furrowed and she’s leaning back like she saw vomit. 
“Ouch.”
Hatsume enters the large classroom with a wagon in tow. All of the babies are of different colors and sizes. Some are very petite and others have rolls. They look like your average baby doll.
“Now class, listen up. We’ll draw names and to fit two parents together then you’ll get an assigned baby. We’ll provide birth certificates and activate the kid.”
  There is a feeling in your gut that this will not go well. You don’t mean to put it in the atmosphere at all. Since you’re stuck with this dumb thing, you hope you are wrong.
“Benio with Yaoyorozu.” You hear a curse under someone’s breath. He gets up and walks to your teacher for his baby. Benio and Yaoyorozu receive a normal sized baby. Benio quickly supports the head. In Yaoyorozu’s hand is the certificate wanting a name for it and their parent’s signature. 
  The door opens again and a hero course student from Class B walks in. If you remember right, he’s the drill guy. Someone who can turn his body really fast or something. He scratches his head and gives a short wave to the class. “Ah, there weren't enough students from the other General Studies.”
  “Alright, you and (Y/n).” You get up and go to the front to get your project. Mei hands it to you, not the future hero, and gives you the paper as well. You support the chubby baby’s head. Like your average doll, it has plastic skin and blank open eyes. You go back to your seat and wait for him. He stands there awkwardly. “Um, come with me.” 
“Why?” There are enough chairs for him, you note as you look around. Benio’s desk is empty. Snipe sighs. “(Y/n), go with him.”
“Why? This classroom is huge. He can sit down.” 
  “( Y/n), go.” Snipe points to the door. Slowly, you get up and head for the door, glaring at your teacher. You follow the drill guy closely. He opens the Class B room. You sit down and wait for him to follow you. Now that he’s next to you, he introduces himself. 
“I’m Sen Kaibara. Your name’s (Y/n)?” He has a small smile on his face. His eyes study you closely. You nod at his question. “Let’s get down to it.” You open the baby’s diaper and see that it’s a boy. “It’s a bouncing baby boy.” There are faint red spots on his legs. They aren’t bumps or anything. Maybe the diaper is too tight. You quickly close it before he pees on you. 
“Okay, what should we name him?” You have a few in mind. However, he also has a say in them and he probably won’t like them. Everything’s fine as long as the little boy has a name you can say and spell. Sen taps his chin and his eyes dart around. He snaps his fingers and asks, “How about my name?”
“No. And nothing I can’t pronounce, either.” He scoffs. “You’re not giving me a chance.” 
 “Neither are you. Something that we can both write and pronounce.” That’s it. In the end, that’s what you want. And for him not to be a junior. 
   The two of you decided on Noa, much to his annoyance. Clearly, you don’t get along. Not when it’s like this. All you asked was a simple thing. Yes, you can say Sen. But it doesn’t fit the baby. Yes, he can have a say so in the name. You only wanted a name you can spell and pronounce that doesn’t involve ‘junior’. It’s a name that both of you agreed with and is simple. 
   To you, it wasn’t difficult or a lot to ask for. To him, he’s red in the face as he turns it in. It was a simple disagreement. Why is he frowning so much? Snipe looks it over. “Ah, Noa? Nice name.” 
  Noa begins to get fussy. You look him over to see what’s wrong. You gasp at your discovery. His face changed from a baby doll look to one of an actual baby. His face is a mixture of yours and Kaibara’s. Honestly, mainly yours. Your eyes and mouth, especially. His plastic skin becomes soft like it's real and his weight now settles in. He looks and feels real.
   “That’s normal. Everything changes in time.” 
-------------
  
Unfortunately, things do change. Right as you adjust Noa so you are able to write, he freaks. Everyone’s head turns to you. Ema, God bless her, soothes you as you try to do the same to Noa. It’s crazy, you’ve baby sat before and aren’t bad with kids or babies. Yet with Noa you’re all thumbs. 
  “Bounce him gently. Do you have a bo-bo?” You snap your head. “A what?”
You can barely hear her over Noa's shrill cry. He shakes as he continues to wail. She shifts awkwardly. “A binky. A pacifier. It’s what we’ve always called it.”
  “I’m really irritated right now so usually I’d like, stab you or something but that’s cute.”
  Ema holds in a laugh. “Thank you for your generosity.” Mr. Snipe calls your name. “I know, I know! He won’t calm down.” 
  He sighs. “The bag we gave you has some supplies in it. The school’s formula, a bottle, a set of diapers, pamphlet all of that. Try different things,” He addresses the class. “Learn from this everyone. Plus, the items in the bag are samples. You’re going to have to do what you can by yourself.”
  You set the diaper bag between your knees and unzip it. Inside are the supplies Snipe mentioned. His screams get louder. Suddenly, another baby follows suit, awoken by Noa. Jule immediately glares at you. You mutter several apologies and fumble the silver formula packet which is surprisingly in a liquid form. 
  Your fingers shake whether from stress or the bouncing you're doing with your whole body, totally dedicated to the rhythm. You pour the contents in the red and white bottle to shake it. Putting it in his mouth, he refuses to suckle. 
“W-what?” You look at Snipe confused. He taps his foot and crosses his arms. Jule’s baby is quiet now, abruptly stops by your amazement. “How?” Jule shows you the bottle. “She’s hungry. Is Noa not-” 
“Let her deal with it.” Snipe sighs. Riko frowns. “Doesn’t it take a village to raise a child?”
  “Not for this project, no.” She sits up straighter. “Don’t you think you should be more patient? This was bound to happen.”
  “You,” He points to you. “Outside so we can continue class.” 
“Fucking asshole.”
“Watch it.”
You struggle to stand up without dropping him or anything else. Ema, bless her once more Lord, comes in and helps you with your things. You make haste to exit the classroom that is growing increasingly annoyed. 
  You try to feed him once again and when that doesn’t work, you set him on the ground to check his diaper. The redness is still there but he is dry. Throwing your hands in the air, you give up and head to Kaibara’s class. You don’t even bother to knock since literally everyone can hear you coming a mile away. 
   “Kaibara?” The class looks at you with their hero uniforms on. “Can you try? Nothing I’m doing is working.”
“I’m busy. I’ll visit later, okay? Try putting on a movie or singing to him or something. I gotta go.” He leaves you standing in the middle of his classroom.
“In the middle of school? Put on a movie in the middle of class?” You scoff and move in front of him, preventing him from walking away. Some of his classmates look at the two of you. You notice that not a single one of them have their babies. Their teacher, Dracula or something, pauses his speech and eyes you. “Kaibara, handle this as a father would. Alright class, let’s go.”
 “Kaibara-” He cuts you off with a short response. “Not now.” He rushes past you to join and laugh with his friends as Noa continues to cry. Dracula pats your shoulder and apologizes. 
______________
You decide to rock him rather than bounce. Soon after, he begins to quiet down, making you want to scream in his place. The bottle in your hand beeps. You look at it and see the word ‘spoiled’ on it with Hatsume’s face on it with a peace sign. 
  Still rocking him, you set your bag down on the ground to get a better look inside it to see how much you have. “No…” That was the only formula packet. Sighing, you pick it up and carefully rise up, with your knees cracking every inch. You head to the support course and walk inside. Power Loader is about to scold you for not knocking but stops himself immediately. “Is something wrong?”
“I need more formula, please.” Hatsume pops up out of nowhere. If you had the energy, you’d punch her for everything she’s ever done to you. 
  “Let me see, let me see!” She moves your arm enough to look at him. “Ah, he hasn’t grown; tsk, tsk.” You literally just got him. Like, a couple of hours ago.
 “Give me the formula.” 
  She sighs and shows you a set of packets and tells you the price. Your jaw drops. “You can’t be serious.” 
  “Yep, yep! Hand it over.” Regular formula is half the price and she’s handing you six packets. One per bottle. “Is one packet for one bottle?”
“Preferably. If you water it down then the baby isn’t getting the nutrients. Don’t try to skimp on my baby, little baby!” 
The door behind you opens and shuts. Benio comes to your side. “She keeps throwing up, is your formula faulty?”
  Hatsume twitches. “ No! These are based on real babies and not every baby can have the same formula.”
  She, again out of nowhere, brings out a pink pouch. “Specialized!” You’re about to have a heart attack when she tells him how much his is. It’s even more than yours. “Fine. I’ll take four cases.”
Ah, that’s right. His parents make a lot of money, and his stipend is more than yours. Because you are a scholarship kid, your amount is lower. No one has told you by how much, though. 
Embarrassed, you put up two fingers. She hands them to you and is gracious enough to place them in the diaper bag. Your eyes are downcast. 
  “Everything’ll be okay.” Hatsume says. You don’t ask what the money is for even though you are curious.
While you're here, you speak up to Noa's demonic creator. Ever since you got him, his groin has been red and irritated. You want to smack yourself when you finally piece together that he has a rash.
"Is there something wrong with the diapers? He's terribly red ever since it was put on him." You hand him over to her and she places him on a clear spot on her desk. "Ah, he's allergic! Good thing I have something for tha-"
"Special diapers?"
She puts her hands on her hips. "Why didn't you let me finish?"
"Let me buy them, please." You see the box of diapers in her hand. Already your stomach is in knots. Strangely, she looks into your eyes without a smile. No expression on her face. It looks like she's focused on you. "Are you okay?"
You nod and hum. It doesn't feel right to let this bother you.
 "Here's some samples. Let me know if they work, okay?" She hands you three blue diapers. Unlike the regular ones that have the U.A. design on them, this one is pure blue with the U.A. emblem on the top. You don't realize it until you quickly change Noa and see the redness start to fade. Your eyes are watery. Not to the point of tears rolling out but close enough that Mei cared.
You clear your throat. "I'll um, let you know. If they work, I'll buy some more."
___________________________
Sitting at your usual lunch table with Ema, Benio, and Riko, you struggle to eat your lunch one handed. The other is occupied with holding Noa. Luckily, he is peacefully sleeping.
“You should really get a carrier or a wrap. It’ll be much easier.” Ema, who got Kirishima, eats her piece of chicken. New voices are loud enough to gain your table’s attention. 
“Mm! Gotta go. We promised we’d sit together for the sake of our daughter.” She gets up and leaves you in awe of her communication skills. “I wish that were me. I can’t Yaoyorozu to sit still.”
“I don’t even want to.” Riko says. You forgot who she got but her forlorn face clearly says it’s not Todoroki. 
“Not many of them even carry their kids. Like, Kirishima is the first I’ve seen.” You point to him sitting next to Ema. She didn’t get Midoriya like she wanted. Nevertheless, she got one of the better ones out of the bunch. In fact, he’s bragging about her. Showing everyone his daughter like a real proud father. 
   “Damn it…” You mutter. Searching around the cafeteria, you say, “I can’t even see Kaibara. Maybe we should exchange numbers. I have to tell him that Noa can't have the regular diapers.”
“You don't have his number?” You shake your head no. Riko frowns and rocks her carrier. “(Y/n)! That's, like, the first thing you should do.”
“I know, I know. He ignores me, though! Today I couldn’t console Noa. So, I went to him for help and he totally blew me off. He didn’t even look at him. Like Benio over here, I cannot get this guy to sit still.”
“Try again. If I can get her to cough it up, you can too.” He finishes his plate fast. Benio rhythmically taps his foot. His eyes focus on the table, clearly pissed off. You want to reach out and tell him it’ll be okay. That she’ll come around and you are in this together. Right now, he’s at the stage where he’ll snap at anyone and you prefer to live.
“You guys are so lucky. I got stuck with a creep.” That can only be one person. You gasp. “That grape dude? He’s still alive?” You didn’t even see him in class. It was probably the Lord doing that.
“Yep,” She pops her ‘p’. She pushes her broccoli around. Riko tenses up and her bottom lip sticks out slightly. “All I get are innuendos. I want to meet up? He’ll flirt and suggest another child. I don’t feel safe at all.” She mumbles. Your protective instincts start to flare up. It’s not normal for you to feel this way, either. How could he do this? Yes, she’s smart and pretty. But that doesn’t mean jack crap. Being disgusting towards her is wrong. Where are his morals? She isn't interested. She said no!
   “If you want to have supervised visits, I’ll be happy to be there. Make it into a play date sort of thing.” It isn't much to offer but at least it's out there. Her lips wobble as she smiles at you. “I would like that, please.”
“Has it gotten that bad already? The project just started.” Benio rubs her back. “Yeah, already. He keeps blowing up my phone. I got in trouble for it in class, remember?” Yeah. English class was a sight when her phone vibrated so much it shook off the desk. The teacher's vein nearly popped due to the interruptions. 
   “Let me see.” Benio grabs her phone and checks. With every scroll his eyes get wider. “The fuck? We have to tell the teachers.”
“They’ll just say, ‘it’s like real life’.” She mimics their voice. You hold out your hand to reach her. Whatever is on that phone, has made Benio even madder. Steam practically comes out of his ears. “Yeah, but this is sexual harassment. Something that is punishable.” 
  “Will you go with me?” You and Benio don’t need to be told twice. You spot Kaibara with the red headed big hand girl. You get up and go to him. “I’ll be right back. When I get back, we’ll go directly to Snipe.”
  You make your way to him. He laughs and snickers with her, neither one having their baby in hand. “Yo, Kaibara.” 
  He stops and turns to you. “I need to talk to you.”
“I’m busy right now. I’ve worked hard, I’d like to eat.” You tap your foot and suck your lips in before you speak. “The only thing I see is you jaw jacking and not a single bit of food got in your mouth. All I’m asking for is a minute. I need to talk to you about our baby.”
"Fake baby."
The red head inhales her food. “Mm! That reminds me, I have to go find her. I promised I’d watch the baby.” 
“Watch? That’s your kid. You’re not babysitting, you're supposed to be raising.” 
   She freezes and you turn to Kaibara. “Come on.”
“After that? You broke her.” He grabs her hand and leads her to the rest of Class B. “At least take my number so we can communicate!” 
 “Later!” He meets up with his friends and Red looks back at me with a guilty look. She lets go of his hand and goes somewhere else. 
  “Come on, let’s go to Snipe.” You guide Riko up from the table. “What’re you going to him for?” Kaibara miraculously is able to hear you, apparently. He pokes his head up above his friends’ shoulders to peer at you. He goes behind one of them and asks again. 
“None of your business,” You snap. Your thumb rubs Riko's hand in an attempt to comfort her. “Come on.” Riko gets up and packs her things while Benio throws everything away. Sen calls out to you again, wondering why you’re going to Snipe. “Later!” You yell.
He really should’ve given his number.
---------------
You stand in the hallway with Benio. Both of your backs are leaning against the wall. You hear Riko’s muffled voice as well as Eraserhead and Snipe. The three of you called them together and showed them the messages. Benio didn’t see them all and you didn’t see a thing, which is probably for the best. Noa is still sleeping soundly in your arms. His chubby cheek is nestled close to your chest. You shift your weight on your feet and look at Benio from the corner of your eye.
“Do you think they’re giving him an excuse?” He rolls his eyes. “Don’t start that shit.” Benio snaps. You whip your head towards him. “I’m worried about her, you little bitch. No need to get snappy.”
“I’m worried too. Skank.” 
“Pfft!” You snort. For the first time during lunch period, he cracks a small smile. The door opens and you quickly straighten up. Riko comes out first. “Let’s go, you guys.”
“You sure?” 
“Yeah, we’re excused.” You nod and walk with her, Benio and the babies in tow. “What’s going to happen? Will you be okay?”
“I’ll be alright.” 
-------
  Your arms are becoming numb as you hold Noa. You still don’t have a carrier or the money to afford one. Looking around, everyone is more prepared than you or is just overall better. During lunch, a bunch of them rushed out to buy baby things. Smart bastards.
  Noa is squirming more than ever. He isn't crying (yet) but he looks uncomfortable. Maybe it’s gas? You have to document that on your project's papers. Snipe said to write down all the progress, costs, and at the end there will be a written assignment on all of the notes. It's a weird project and clearly an emotional one. 
“Sen? Sen?” You go yelling through the hallways of his dorm. Tetsutetsu gets up and goes to you with his baby in his arms. “What’s wrong? I can help.”
“Where is Kaibara?” 
“I don’t know. Maybe his room? Is everything okay?” You shake your head no. “No, nothing’s okay. He’s avoiding me and the baby. I need to talk to him.”
  Tetsutetsu clenches his fist. “Bet. Follow me.” He goes through the halls demanding to know where he is. Tetsutetsu barges into Kaibara’s room, the door swinging open so hard it now squeaks. He begins to yell, “ Take responsibility!”
 “Tetsu, what the hell?” Kaibara shoots up and closes his manga. “You? What’d you do, go to Snipe and have Tetsu on my ass?”
  “No, he did that on his own. We need to discuss the baby. Noa needs things and there are times when your schedule works better than mine. There’s so much we need to talk about.” Although a part of you wants to defend yourself for going to Snipe, it isn’t fair to Riko.
  “I got this, Tetsu.” Kaibara looks into Tetsutetsu’s eyes. “You better. You and the others are giving us a bad name.” 
  He leaves and gives you a nod. You shut the door behind him and hand the baby to Kaibara. “Kaibara, meet Noa. Noa, meet your dad.”
  “That’s not funny. And it is not right to embarrass me like that!” He holds Noa awkwardly and gives him a weird look, as if he's disgusted or freaked out.
“That’s what you’re worried about? We have a whole child right there-”
“He isn’t real!” He yells, surprisingly, not waking Noa up. Your anger begins to grow. “The costs are real! The necessities are real! The grade is definitely real!”
  “Is that what you want? Money?” How the fuck is that what he caught.
“Money? No. I want you to help. I can’t do everything on my own and worry about school. Let’s work on a schedule. Let’s get baby supplies. Communication is amazing, why not do it?”
   He brushes past you roughly, pushing you back a little. “Let’s go then.”
The two of you walk to a baby store, passing the many confused and worried expressions. He dips his head into his hoodie. “I should’ve hid my fucking face or something.”
You roll your eyes. “Did it occur to you that they’re staring at us because we’re two teens with a baby?” He scoffs, throwing the door open and doesn’t hold it for you.
 “Jerk.”
Inside, are rows of colorful clothes. Some are hero merchandise and others have cartoons. After the various clothing for all ages are bottles, diapers, binkies, and the like. In the back is the gold mine for children: lots and lots of toys. 
   “What about this?” You hold up a dinosaur shirt. He rolls his eyes and shrugs. “Can you hold him now?”
  This is the first time today you don’t have him and you're still taking care of him while your partner is right there. “No. It’s your quality time.”
  You put the dinosaur shirt in the cart. Suddenly, Noa screams bloody murder. You turn to Kaibara who’s freaking out. “What the fuck? He just started-”
“Is everything okay?” An employee comes up. Kaibara quickly gives him to you and says, “I gotta go.”
   “At least leave some cash!” He turns around and stomps to you. 
“Fucking knew it. Here.” He hands you twenty bucks. As he slams the door open and shut, he hides his face. You bounce Noa. “Is there a bathroom or something?”
“Yeah, come with me. Leave the cart.” 
In the bathroom, you lower the table. “I fed you, you took a nap, I changed you-”
She looks at his face. "Babies can sense things too, you know?"
You look up at the woman and ask what she meant. "Children can tell how a person is inside." She nudges her head to point out the door. "And that was clear as the sky today."
“Thank you for your help.” It took twenty minutes for him to calm down and thirty for you. The woman behind the counter is a God send. She’s helped you out more than Kaibara has, and you’ve only known her for a short amount of time. You called Snipe to let him know where you were, and he yelled at you for being late. Whatever. It’s his dumb assignment. 
   You put the supplies on the counter, fearing the cost. You grabbed a very cheap wrap, not yet being able to afford a proper carrier. You have his money, and the rest of yours. 
  She looks at you and looks at what’s on the counter. “This isn’t nearly enough. You got some of the essentials. Everything else is missing.”
   “I know, I know. I didn't have time to plan or anything. This was sprung on us today, remember?" You wished you had time to at least finance.
She tells you the total. What he gave you doesn’t cover anything but a few shirts and a bo-bo . You buy everything else with nothing left in your account until payday. 
-----------
As you go home, Noa decides that it's time to rest again. His soft pudgy face is peaceful and his breathing is steady. “I’m sorry about today. And that you still don’t have a bed…” You set him on your bed comfortably. Afterwards, you put everything away in the few drawers you have.
You are in awe of how little he is. Chubby but overall small. It’s ridiculous how much you spent on a fake baby though, no matter how cute. This entire thing is unorthodox even by U.A. standards. Students paying for things with their own money is just too much. How did they expect this to happen? Where is the money going to? 
It’s not a complete loss, anyway. Things can be recycled, donated, or sold at the end. You rub your face and look around at the lack of things he has. No bed, dresser, playpen, and the only toys he has are the stuffed animals that were on your bed. And he’s too young to be playing with them anyway. 
Even though he isn't real, he's not, this is still getting to you. It's way too familiar. You smack your cheeks. He's an assignment, a project, a doll. That's right, a doll. To the side is your white laundry basket. You grab it and put a spare pillow in it, just like you would with your baby dolls when you were a child. “Alright, let’s see if this works.”
   Nope, no it doesn’t. You groan and apologize to Noa, who still does not have a bed. That alone bothers you. He looks up at you for a moment then closes his eyes again. He gives a quick smile revealing two dimples on his chubby cheeks. You give him a little kiss. 
You gasp. You only had him for a day and you've become attached. Not to a serious degree but enough to warrant a kiss. Maybe it’s because of his likeness to being real. He actually looks like he’d be yours. He feels like a baby. The whole thing is confusing you and you think it’s popping your ovaries or something.
You suddenly feel heavy. Today has been nothing but draining. If you can get a few minutes in, just a few. You need to do the responsible thing and take your meds if you’re going to nap. The bottle is too far. The side of the bed your upper body is leaning on is so comfortable. Eyelids heavy, a yawn, and the day that has been so tiring. You just need a few minutes…
   There’s a knock on the door. You perk up and check on Noa, who is still asleep. You wipe your drool from your face and arm. Your knees crack in pain from sleeping on them. “I’m old, so, so old.”
  “Hello?” You say as you open the door. Ema bounces and excitedly tells you, “Deku’s on the phone!”
“Bitch, did you really wake me up for that?” It’s the audacity. The sheer amount of stupid is astounding. 
“Fucker. Anyway, come on! He’s face timing my baby daddy right now.”
  “Hold on, let me get Noa.” You grab your bag that has a pink dress uniform in it and then snatch his diaper bag off of your chair. Right as you're about to leave your room, your eyes find the long mirror. The dry erase marker is fading and needs to be redone, and you must put more reminders on it, too. 
  Your eyes stay there too long. You can feel yourself about to drift away in the color of a light purple and dark blue, swirling around each other with twinkling stars. The smell of lavender starts to push through the scent of the blown out candle in your room. A moon is peering out of the colors, soon to move and send you into another dream. 
  Suddenly, Ema yells your name. It comes into your head like an echo, something distant and not seen. You begin to come out of it when Noa starts to cry. You blink and wipe your eyes. Noa immediately stops crying. “Thanks, bud.”
Downstairs, Kirishima holds his phone out and talks. “We miss you! When are you coming back?” 
   “In a few weeks, I think? Maybe a month. I’m not sure but I'm making tons of progress! I'm starting to feel more secure in my suit."
You enter the commons and spot the spiky redhead talking animatedly to the green on the screen. "It's a cool suit! I like how it looks a lot like your usual-here she is. Her name's (Y/n). (Y/n), meet Izuku Midoriya."
  Your face then takes up the screen. Round green eyes meet yours. He doesn’t say anything at first, he just stares. Finally, he stutters as he introduces himself. Anytime he’s brought up, you’ve been shown this freckled baby face. Now, you’re looking at someone who’s gaining mature definition. His cheeks are a little slimmer and his scar adds a rugged look. His curls are no longer all over his head but are now neatly trimmed. All in all, he is not bad to look at. He’s surprisingly easy on the eyes. 
  “Okay.” Ema elbows you and tells you to be nice. “What? Why am I here?” You whisper back. You feel Midoriya’s eyes on you as you talk. 
“So you won’t be here for a while?” Kirishima sounds sad that his friend is still gone. “I’ll be there soon!”
“You just said-”
“No, no, no. I’ll be there!” He moves his phone in a way that covers the lower half of his face that is growing pink. 
Why are his eyes so round? He looks scared.
Ema chuckles under her breath and smiles at you. You look at the time and jump. “Shit! It’s been nice talking to you, but I’ve got to go.”
  “Alright, see you-”
“It was nice meeting you!” You stop and turn back to look at the green haired guy on the phone. He scratches his head and gives a close eyed smile. Kirishima tells him to calm down. Ema shakes her head slightly. The bright shine in her eyes is dimmed as they go to the floor. A small smile appears on her lips. “Oh, dear. Deku is something else.”
 You bid them goodbye and run to find him. Noa stays calm as you cradle him gently. Finally, you see him as you push past the doors of his dorm. Kaibara is in the Class B commons sitting with his phone in his hand and his bare feet propped up on the coffee table. Many of his class stand around and talk or do homework. You take a deep breath before you say anything, like ‘you’re not helping you dumbass maggot.’ or ‘eat the dust that Shigaraki himself made’. You want to be civil for now.
 “Kaibara, I need you for tonight.” And during the day too, preferably. He straightens up in his seat. Immediately, he frowns.  “What? In the morning-”
“Is your home room. Stop. I need you to watch him in the evenings after school.”
“Until when?” He harshly whispers, looking around at his friends, hoping they don’t see or hear this too much.
“Around seven or eight? I’ll call to let you know.” You take off the diaper bag. “Here you go. By the way, he wears special diapers that Hatsume makes so you'll need to go get some more. He's terribly allergic to the regular ones she makes.”
  “I-I can’t-” He stutters. Right now, he doesn’t look too much like a hero, just some punk ass teen in an Eeyore sweater whose mom just told him to watch his brother for an hour.
You hold up your hand. “You can, and you will. This is your son, right? Someone you wanted as a junior?” You hand him Noa, who is awake. “I’ll see you later, pumpkin.” You give Noa's cheek a poke.
  Kaibara is silent. Completely silent.
------------
“Benio? What’re doing?” You ask just as you’re about to head out of the U.A. gates. You didn't expect to run into him this time of day. He’s stomping with his kid in his arms. Last you saw her, she was wearing a basic outfit to go out. A purple onesie with a cheesey graphic design and some pants. Now she's in lavish clothing that you know he didn't give her. They look expensive and well put together. It's something an Instagram mom would make her kids wear; nothing like a child would be sporting if they had a normal parent. “She’s the fucking worst, I swear to God.”
“Who?”  He can’t possibly be talking about his baby. He likes the kid too much, even though he’ll deny it. The way he looks at her and can't stop cooing is too telling. He's taken gobs of pictures already and the project just started.
   “That bitch, Yaomomo. Or whatever the fuck people call her,” He growls. A pebble flies away by his kick. “You were right. I give up.” 
Your opinions can be controversial, especially in a hero loving society. So, him admitting that is pretty huge. Although you want to gloat, you can’t help but feel bad for him and his descent to anger and hate all caused by a stupid future pro.
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“Why not just let Gojo take care of everything himself from now on?”
This reads a bit like a throwaway line from Nanami, but it’s actually a meaningful thing for Gege to insert here.
For context, Nanami asks Geto this question after coming back from the failed mission where Haibara was killed.
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This scene is also immediately before Geto's village massacre / defection scenes.
This is the very next set of panels: (It’s the continuation of the thought Geto started above, then cuts to to the mission where he kills the 112 non-sorcerers)
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So, what Nanami says to Geto is the last thing we see anyone at Jujutsu high saying to Geto before he makes that final decision to turn away from being a Jujutsu sorcerer.
Geto’s thought about the “mountain of corpses” is the last internal monologue / insight we get into his mental state before defecting.
In Geto’s mind, who is in the hypothetical ‘mountain of corpses' created by Jujutsu society?
- - - - Read more cut - - - -
Let’s start by acknowledging that Nanami’s suggestion to make Gojo handle all the missions actually makes sense, from a strictly pragmatic perspective. (Why let weaker sorcerers die doing something that Gojo could easily handle?)
Even before Gojo learned Reverse Curse / Hollow Purple, he (and Geto) were given the Star Plasma Vessel mission on special request from Tengen. Presumably because they were the strongest sorcerers.
It’s reasonable to assume the higher ups in Jujutsu society have thought about optimizing the mission assignments this way. And, by this point, Gojo is getting sent on missions, alone, without Geto.
But even though he’s the strongest sorcerer, Gojo is not unbeatable. He’s not even as powerful as he’ll become by JJK0+
Here’s what Gojo told Geto just days before the mission where Haibara dies:
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So Geto knows that Gojo can’t always run limitless, and he hasn’t perfected domain expansion. Gojo can’t protect himself against poisons.
Geto also already knows what happens when Gojo’s power is overestimated - when he is overworked and spread too thin. Last time that happened, he got stabbed through the chest by Toji.
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“Impossible!” is Geto’s reaction, because he’d been lulled into a false sense of security, thinking that Gojo was untouchable.
Nanami suggesting that Gojo handle all the curses is sort of like Toji putting up a bounty for Riko. Each weak assassin wasn’t enough to take Gojo down on their own, but en masse they could distract and wear him down.
The same would be possible with a never ending onslaught of curses to exorcise. Then, all it takes is one mistake before Gojo's corpse is added to the mountain.
Don't get me wrong, Geto had many reasons for defecting, and Nanako, Mimiko, and Riko’s treatment by non-sorcerers were probably the main ones.
But Geto must have also believed that the world he was trying to build for Jujutsu sorcerers was a better, safer world for Gojo, too.
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vinomino · 2 months
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Be Vulnerable [Sneak Peek]
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The journey of a marriage of convenience for benefits and the two who are intertwined in it.
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Featuring: Kaji Ren x f!reader
Contents: nsfw mdni 18+, arranged marriage au, samurai au, angst w/happy ending, violence, murder, dubcon(aphrodisiacs), miscommunication, vaginal fingering, cunnilingus, unprotected sex, pregnancy, nobetawedielikemen
WC: 10k [this is the first draft of be vulnerable]
{click here}
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Two sides make a coin whole.
“Say, what would you want your husband to be like?” Your elder sister, Tsuya, often spoke of the topic, sitting next to you in the garden talking your ear off about her dream future husband. That he had to be handsome, taller, and the deal-breaker; to treat you, her only little sister, with kindness. Tsuya was often scolded on your behalf, always taking the blame for you. “It’s alright, I want you to depend on your older sister.” Patting your head after leaving your mother's chamber, you could faintly hear your mother ranting about another one of her favorite vases being destroyed. 
The Hatano family. Your father was a wealthy aristocrat, while lacking power and might, he made up for it in merchandising. Your family was in possession of fertile land, having an abundance of crops which put him at the top of the agriculture circle. It fostered trading and strong ties to bigger clans, most notably, your family’s precious sake. Known famously far and wide for being the best, the rice wine being traded off for the promise of protection. 
Tsuya and you were close, your parents didn’t spend that much time with you and your elder brother was busy with duties to prepare him for being heir, duties ranging from sword fighting to study lessons, you rarely got to see him because of it. As the third child, Akihiro was heir, Tsuya was the oldest daughter, and Akiro was the spare, your duties were lessened. Tsuya’s duty was to marry into a clan that would benefit the house. While that was also enforced onto you, you had the option of marrying any man as long as he wasn’t beneath you in status. The thought of marrying seemed so distant, even though you were currently of marriageable age. 
Riko, your exclusive maid is combing your hair, getting you ready for bed. “Miss, your hair is always so gorgeous! Oh, should I shut the window? It is raining quite heavily tonight…” She patiently awaits your answer. “No, leave it be. I find it relaxing.” You send her a soft smile through the mirror. Riko was born the same year as you, a child of a man serving your father. Riko was much more confident and courageous than you expected. Despite how the other maids who have worked in the family longer act, she doesn’t shy away at all. You thank her for putting your mind at ease. You stand up, going to head for the bed when you hear a large commotion coming from the hallway. Opening the door you see servants rushing around frantically, out of the corner of your eye you spot Tsuya coming down the hall, “Sister…what’s going on…?” 
She has a grim expression, pushing you back into your room, sending a glance at Riko who bows her head and leaves. The rain poured down, a crack of thunder. Tsuya grips your shoulders tightly and finally speaks up, “Brother Akihiro died in an ambush.” Hearing the news of your elder brother’s death you slap a hand over your mouth. You can feel her muscles tense as she thinks about what is going to happen now that the heir of the house is gone. The two of you go to find Mother, she's standing in the engawa, sobbing into her hands. You help her back into the house, as she weeps for your brother. The rest of the night is a blur, everyone gets sent back to their quarters for the night, aside from Father and his men who hold an emergency meeting. Tsuya accompanies you for the night, scared of what's to come. 
“Big sister…” You murmur laying next to her, she shushes you, while she faces inner turmoil. The sleepless night passes and you get summoned into the meeting hall early in the morning. Placing next to Tsuya, you notice only the immediate family is present. Mother holds a solemn expression next to father. The door slides open and your little brother steps in, mother ushers him to sit next to her, embracing him in her arms. Father clears his voice. 
“Last night, Akihiro passed away.” He lets out a long sigh. 
“First, Akiro is to be named my successor and will proceed with the training. Second, Tsuya you will cancel your engagement with Miyoshi Akihito of the Roppo-Ichiza clan and marry into the Bofurin clan. Not only did we lose your brother, but many of our best men as well. Finally, the wake will be held this evening, so be prepared.” With that, you're standing with your sister in the hall. Tsuya buries her face into your neck as she sobs. You try to comfort her, rubbing at her back. 
She was in love with Miyoshi, the two were called love birds by the servants who often gushed at the sight of them. It was a dream come true for her to marry not only out of convenience but also love. Now she has to throw it all away and marry a man she doesn’t know but acknowledges that she must. The loss of your elder brother and many of the swordsmen leaves the house unprotected, trade routes would be vulnerable, and there’s also the risk of plundering by bandits. While Roppo-Ichiza is strong, it pales in comparison to Bofurin, known for its strength, one of the most powerful clans by its might and size. A marriage connecting your family to Bofurin would be extremely beneficial. Tsuya knows this herself, which is why she did not raise any words against Father. 
Then came the funeral, full of tension and tears. Standing next to Mother as she squeezed the chopsticks in her hands, it was time for the kotsuage. She stares lifelessly at the ashes and bones of her first child. No one spoke as each picked out bone fragments. Riko wraps your haori around you as you head back to the family home. Resting your head on her shoulder as the carriage takes you away from the cemetery. 
Staying in your chambers as the week passes, you learn from a servant that the man Tsuya is to be betrothed to was named Lord General Kaji Ren, second in command of the Vaisravana unit, serving under Lord General Militant Hiragi Toma. 
Riko stands by as you read a book while sipping on tea, the calm atmosphere makes you feel ignorant. The only orders you had were to stay in your quarters, placing the book down, “Riko, will you follow me wherever I go?” Resting against your hand as you stare out the window. “Miss, I will follow you wherever you go, I promise.” Her voice is calm, portraying her sincerity. A sigh escapes your lips as you prepare yourself for your plan. 
~
Seeking out father, you seek out his office. The footman by the door notices you approaching, straightening himself up. “Miss, is there anything you need?” 
“I want to request an audience with my father, it’s important.” 
He nods and enters the office, a minute passes before he opens the doors for you, nodding his head again. You can feel his gaze linger on you as you inhale deeply and step in, making your way to your father. Tsuya was also there, she looked surprised seeing you. 
A quiet child who kept to herself; that was what they called you, never standing out yet neither disappearing into the background. You’ve received countless marriage proposals and rejected every single one to your mother’s exasperation, she says your pretty face will soon slip away if you don’t take advantage of it. But she never made a huge fuss about it, knowing that there would be many more, agreeing with you to wait for one to stand above the rest. 
“Father, let me marry in Tsuya’s place.” Pressing your shoulders back and raising your head to meet his eyes. 
He sets his cup down and ponders over it, “Well, there’s no problem if Tsuya isn’t the one to marry, but you just reached the age, are you sure?” Rubbing at his chin. 
“What are you saying?” Tsuya whispers over, her brows furrowed. 
“If there is no problem with me being the one to marry, then please allow her to proceed with her marriage to Miyoshi. I will marry Lord Kaji Ren.” Placing a hand over your chest. 
He glances over at Tsuya and then back at you. “Then so it shall be.” 
Tsuya grabs you outside the office, pulling you into a secluded area, “Why–” 
“Sister is always kind to me, so… I want to be the one to help her when she needs it the most. Marry Miyoshi, be happy.” You hold her shoulder. 
“What about…you?” 
Offering her a soft smile, “Write to me often, alright?” 
Tears well up in her eyes as she embraces you, “Since when did you grow up? Hah…Making me feel like the younger one.” She pinches your cheek like she always did when you were kids. 
Lord General Kaji Ren, was also referred to as a beast on the battlefield. Riko managed to gather some information; he was taller than you, had platinum hair and dark gray eyes, and was allegedly “good-looking”. With this little to go by, you couldn’t picture what he looked like, staring at Riko’s squiggly drawing of who she says is a portrait of your husband-to-be.   
The wedding date was set and preparations were beginning. The number of servants who were around you now felt draining, the seamstresses spent hours taking your measurements. slouching back into the chair and rubbing at your temple, “Riko, are weddings this much of a headache?” Taking another bite of the biscuit.
“Miss! A wedding only happens once in a lifetime. Also, the youngest daughter of the Hatano family marrying a Lord General of the Bofurin clan is a big deal! Miss, you shouldn’t eat so much…your wedding is tomorrow and the Head Lady looked quite…mad at dinner.”
Was something like this considered a big deal? 
The day of the wedding arrived, waking up at dusk to get ready for it. The servants bathing you and dressing you. You should feel nervous, but instead, you feel a strange sense of peace, being able to protect your sister’s happiness. The white shiromuku is neatly laid on top of your body. Flowers and birds are hand painted on the silk fabric, showcasing the meticulous attention to detail. A white wedding kimono symbolizes pureness and cleanness; to take on the other color of the groom and accept the values and ideas of the groom’s clan. Riko meticulously does your hair-do, wrapping it around and pinning it up. The silence was interrupted by a knock on the door. 
Tsuya steps in, her eyes wavering at you. “Here I thought I would be marrying first…you’re all grown up now.” 
“Oh, both of you are here.” You look at your mother, carrying a small wooden box. For the first time in a while, your mother smiles. “It seems I am losing another child again.” She sighs, her frail cold hands push your hair out of your forehead and caress your cheek.
“Mother…don’t miss me too much.” Earning a soft laugh from her. She opens the box, “This was the hairpin I wore when I married your father. I want you to have it. Serve your husband well.” Gently handling the silver ornament, sliding it into your hair. Mother then turned on her heel and left with her servants, leaving the three of you.
“It suits you. Let me do your makeup, one last favor from your big sister.” Tsuya pats your head carefully to not move it out of place. 
She skillfully applies the blush and lipstick, leaning back to admire her work, “I’d say you don’t need anything more. You are always stunning.” 
“I agree Miss, I fell for you looks the moment I saw you!” Riko chimes in. 
Again, a knock at the door. This time it’s Miyoshi, “Riko, can you leave us for a bit.” She bows her head and steps out of the room. 
“Miyoshi? What–” Tsuya is cut off when he kneels on the floor. “I wanted to sincerely thank you, for everything, I promise to take care of Tsuya for the rest of my life.” Miyoshi bows his head. 
Tsuya’s breath hitches for a moment before joining Miyoshi, next to him. “No, please– raise your heads.” You bend down and pull them up, “As long as you two are happy, that’s enough repayment I need.” Tsuya burst out into tears, refraining from touching you, so as to not stain your kimono. “I swear it on my life” Miyoshi states, taking Tsuya out with him to calm her down. 
You're left alone, sitting in front of the mirror. The woman looking back at you is unfamiliar, is she really you? It felt surreal, only yesterday you were tottering after Tsuya, and now you were getting married off before her. 
The wedding ceremony was to take place in Bofurin’s ceremonial hall, the ride there was a lengthy one. Peering over your shoulder, taking one last look at the place you were born and grew up in, before stepping into the carriage. Fiddling with the fan the whole way, Tsuya’s and Miyoshi’s children will grow up in a family full of warmth, that alone sets a smile on your life. 
“Miss, we’ve entered the Bofurin territory.” A male voice informs you. 
Daughters live their whole lives for this. This is the last thing you can do for your family. 
~
In a separate room, Tsuya places the wataboshi over my head. The pristine white hood to be worn before and during the ceremony is the equivalent of a wedding veil. 
SANSHIN-NO-GI (PROCESSION CEREMONY) 参進の儀
One foot in front of the other, white zori shoes clacking against the ground as you walk towards the ceremony hall. The bridal party, accompanying you is led inside by a maiden. Head slightly tilted down you are still able to see how many people were present, your family to the left, Bofurin to the right, and all the clansmen were identifiable in their dark green haori. Peering up, you can see the ceremonial table and altar at the back of the hall, a man stands beside it. Platinum blond hair, it's hard to see his eyes with his fringe, but you tell they are a murky color. He wears a traditional groom’s black kimono and the same haori as his clansmen, on closer inspection the Furin symbol is on it—a neutral expression on his face, lips in a tight line. The priest awaits you beyond the table. 
NYUJYO  (ENTRANCE) 入場
The maiden introduces the bride and groom, “Today we are witnessing the unification of the young lady from the Hatano family and Lord General Kaji Ren of the Bofurin clan.” 
SHUBATSU-NO-GI  (PURIFICATION CEREMONY) 修祓の儀
The priest purifies the bride, groom, and attendees. To purify you and Kaji Ren from all your sins to begin your journey together. 
NORITO-SOJO (SHINTO RITUAL PRAYER READING) 祝詞奏上
Then the priest recites ritual prayers, announcing to the deities of your marriage, a marriage promising eternal happiness together. Asking for protection and blessings. You shift and wiggle your toes against the socks. Unable to scratch the itch, you peek over to your right, at Kaji Ren. The guests all stand and bow. 
SANKON-NO-GI(EXCHANGE OF CUPS)三献の儀
The exchange of the three cups of sacred sake. In front, three cups, small, medium, and large. The priests begin to pour the sake into them. The familiar scent, it's your family's sake. For the first time your will wavers. You raise the cup to your lips, taking three sips, the harsh liquid burning your throat, but you force it down. Passing the cup to the priest for it to be refilled, he hands the cup to Kaji, who does the same, face never faltering. This proceeds until you have sipped from all three cups.    
KAGURA HŌNŌ (DEDICATION OF THE SACRED DANCE) 神楽奉納
The maidens then begin to perform the ancient dance as an offering to the gods.
SEISHI SOJO (READING OF VOWS) 誓詞奏上
The priest hands Kaji a paper scroll, he clears his throat, “This woman, I marry, no matter what the health situation is, I will love this person, respect this person, console this person, and help this person until death, I swear.” He hands the paper to you, “This man, I marry, no matter what the health situation is, I will love this person, respect this person, console this person, and help this person until death, I swear.” 
“Groom, do you take this woman to be your wife?” 
“I do.”
“Bride, do you take this man to be your husband?” 
Gulping, “I do.”
“Then it shall be.” 
TAMAGUSHI HOTEN (TAMAGUSHI OFFERINGS) 玉串奉奠 
Holding the tamagushi in your hands, you bow twice, clap your hands twice, and bow one more time. Kaji does it alongside you. Showing gratitude to the gods. 
YUBIWA-NO-GI (EXCHANGE OF RINGS)  指輪の交換
The maiden then passes a black velvet box to the priest, he takes it and opens it in front of us. Kaji takes the smaller band and turns to you, holding out his hand, you place yours in his, and he slides the silver band on your ring finger. You turn and take the other ring, sliding the band on his ring finger. His hands feel calloused and rough. 
SHINZOKUSAKAZUKI-NO-GI (DRINKING OF SACRED WINE WITH THE WEDDING PARTICIPANTS) 親族杯の儀
Marriage not only symbolizes the binding of the bride and groom but also their clans and families. All the guests present take three sips of the wine, binding the Bofurin clan and Hatano family together. 
TAIJYO (EXIT) 退場 
After bowing, people start to usher out the hall. Everyone takes their exit, leaving you and Kaji alone. “Follow me.” He roughly speaks and leads you back to his personal estate. Following the wedding, the night to consummate it was equally if not more important. 
Stepping into his bedroom chambers, he shuts the door behind him. You take off the wataboshi, placing it on the table against the wall. Kaji is staring at you, he’s finally able to see what you look like. Undoing your hair, letting it fall down, placing your mother’s hairpin down. Nimble fingers reaching to undo the obi, to get undressed, Kaji lets out a loud cough. “There’s no need.” 
Tilting your head, “Lord General, this is my duty.” 
“You’ve already done it. I heard about Akihiro, we used to spar together…and no need to call me so formally. We are husband and wife now, you are also a Kaji…” He trails off as he steps towards the bed, picking up his sword from its stand and unsheathing it. You watch as he slices at his arm, dripping his blood on the white sheets, staining it crimson. “This should be enough. There’s no need for you to worry about an heir.” With that, he walks past you into the connected room, disappearing from your sight. You don't follow, opting to get unready for bed instead. Blowing out the candles and sliding under the blankets, on the opposite side of where the blood is.
Kaji sits down on the lounge chair, hands working to bandage the cut. Then he cleans his blade down spotless, taking off his haori and the haori himo, kicking off his sandals as he leans into the cushion. He sighs, running a hand through his fringe. How did he get into this situation? 
It was sad news to hear an old friend had died at such a young age, but what he didn’t expect was Umemiya and Hiragi summoning him to tell him he was to marry his dead friend’s sister. He knew the status of your family, knowing they were in dire need of men. 
“Kaji, if you don’t want to, I won’t force you to.” 
He clenched his jaw so hard he thought it would shatter. “If it's not me, who will do it?” 
“Hiragi would have to, the Hatano family specifically requested a groom from the Vaisravana unit. Well, there’s Sakura, but…” Umemiya pauses, the third in command, General Sakura Haruka, everyone collectively agrees he was not mature enough to take on a wife. “Her name’s Tsuya Hatano, she’s a year younger than you.” 
Kaji did not want to put Hiragi in a position he did not want to be in, no, he owed too much to the man. Owed his entire life to Hiragi, so reluctantly, he agreed. Word spread quickly in Bofurin, and his vices began to bother him about it. 
“A day ourrrr RRRen gets marrrrrried! Who woulda thought!” Enomoto laughs, smacking him on the back as he grimaces. Kasumi nods with a smile more annoying than usual. “Go away, piss off!” Kaji unwraps a candy and chucks it into his mouth, swirling the sweet around. 
“Oh look! It’s Sir Kaji!” Great, he mumbles, turning around and is met with another headache. A triple headache that is. Nirei, Suo, and Sakura all walk towards him. 
“I heard you were marrying a daughter from the Hatano family!” Nirei asks excitedly, making Kaji cringe internally. 
“The who family?” Sakura asks. 
“Sakura, they are practically ranked one–first in the trading business…” thumbing through the small notebook, “Oh they make the famous Hatano sake. Sakura, you like that one.” 
“Eh, really?” Sakura scratches his head, trying to remember. 
“Sakura, you know the names are the same, right?” Suo teases, dodging the duo-colored boy’s punches.  
“The Hatano’s have four children. The oldest son, the oldest daughter, the youngest daughter, and the youngest son. I heard Tsuya Hatano was very pretty, but I thought she was going to marry Mishiyo of Roppo-Ichiza…I don’t have much of the youngest daughter or son…they haven’t been to social events yet.” Kaji intently listens as the younger boy talks. It felt a heavy bitter taste on his tongue, worse knowing he was marrying someone who was supposed to be promised to another.  Crunching the candy, he storms off. “Oi, Kaji wherrrrre ya going?!” Enomoto calls out for him. 
It wasn’t until the night before the wedding he was informed the bride had changed to the youngest daughter. To his relief, you were only a couple of years younger than your sister. However, now, he's marrying someone he has no information on. You don’t want this either, no one wants to marry out of their family’s desperation. Kaji can only begin to imagine your emotions, he’ll always despise arranged marriages. This deepened when he first laid eyes on you, a well-bred lady, who looks far too weak and frail to be betrothed to a brute like him. He’s certain even the slightest touch of his hand will shatter you, unable to read any emotions on your calm face like this was your only destiny. Kaji sensed underneath that, the firmness in you, in those clear hues. Shifting uncomfortably on the chair, the image of you taking off your obi belt resurfaces, splaying a hand over his face, smothering the heat. Your skin must be smooth to the touch, without a single blemish, raised completely differently than him. It stirs an unfamiliar emotion in his chest. 
~
The wind chimes on the window jingles in the wind, swaying back and forth, you peel open your eyes to see Kaji not present. The sheets wrestle as you sit up, surveying the room with the daylight present. Noting your husband was a simple man, with little to no decoration, aside from a little jar filled with wrappers in the corner of the room, catching your eye. You walk over to inspect it. Popping open the lid to sniff it.
Candy? Does he like sweets?
“Miss, are you awake?” Riko knocks on the door. She had demanded to come with you, saying she promised to never leave your side. Grateful that someone familiar with you, you make a mental note to raise her pay. “Yes, come in.” 
Riko enters with an elderly lady, as she comes over to usher me into the washroom, the older woman silently walks over to inspect the bedsheets. Glancing over your shoulder; she looks up, clasps her hands, and deeply bows. The warm water comforts you, Riko washes your hair. “What do you think about the Lord?” She asks. 
You hum and tilt your head back, “He’s…not that much of a talker…?” Shutting your eyes trying to remember last night. Deciding it would be best to not speak of the bedding night, you sink further under the water, it pools up beneath your nose. Riko helps me dress, it's a fine kimono, made of silk, pale fabric embroidered with green thread. Upon entering the hall another maid awaits, much younger than the other. “I will show you around the estate.” She says and bows, ushering Riko and you to follow behind. 
Your legs hurt, why is it never-ending? The young girl talks your ear off about the history and types of rooms present. You nod along, despite not paying attention, until you pass by a large portrait hung on the wall. A younger version of Kaji, along with his late parents. Staring it for a while until a voice breaks your thoughts. 
“Arrrre you the new miss?!” A man with slick black hair swiftly approaches you. The young servant bows her head at him. Straightening to do the same, “No, no, no you don’t need to bow yourrrr head. Yourrrr Kaji Rrren’s wife! Yourrrr my superrriorrrr!” He’s boisterous. “The name’s Enomoto Takeshi!” He nods, and you give him a friendly smile at his enthusiasm. Enomoto is taken aback, eyes widening. 
“Is something wrong?” 
“N-No! I’d say Rrren found himself quite a fairrr maiden!” Enomoto rubs at the back of his neck, “If you need anything, just hollerrrrr!” Giving you a thumb-up before scurrying off. Were the Bofurin members this eccentric? The tour finally ends, sitting on a cushioned chair as you place your feet on the wooden rest. The walking seemed to never cease, Kaji’s estate alone rivaled your family’s house. Hours spent learning about the history and Kaji’s childhood. Letting out a sigh, you lean back, closing your eyes to refresh. 
“Psst! Enomoto! Over here!” The guys from his unit flag him down. “Did you see the miss? What’d she look like?” They surround him with questions. 
“Well, she was prrretty…” Enomoto mumbles, remembering your face. His answer causes the group of boys to erupt, pestering him for more information. 
~
And so, the next spring came. Laying on your side in bed facing away from Kaji. True to his word, he hadn’t touched you since you got married last year. The clan members were kind and welcoming, it touched your heart to be accepted. Kaji and you barely talk, let alone see each other. He spent the nights sleeping on the sofa, until three months ago he started sleeping by your side. Kotoha, the clan’s doctor, instructed him to do so after he complained about a sore back. Even at important events, Kaji doesn’t even make eye contact with you, the house servants murmur to themselves about a cold marriage because you’ve yet to nurture an heir. Riko is still Riko, tending to you like she has been, although lately you sense she’s also on edge, spending more time at your side, recommending you take walks or visit the shopping district. 
“What…did you do today?” Kaji breaks the unbearable silence, laying on his back, head turned to look at your figure. 
“Nothing.” A blank reply. He could easily find out by asking Riko or any of the other maids, why bother asking you? After all this time of being neglected, you formed some sort of resentment towards him. Telling yourself it was only a matter of time before he takes in another wife, a woman he truly loves. Your mother often wrote letters, asking when she would meet her grandchild and to try and seduce Kaji. Over time the letters have gotten worse and worse, lately you just chuck them unopened into the fire to be kindling. Clutching the blanket closer, you close your eyes, falling into a dreamless slumber. 
Kaji clenches his jaw, his insides cringing in pain, a part of him wants to be angry and yell at you. He takes a deep breath, looking at your back, he wants to reach out and touch you. To feel your skin against his, at first, he thought he could just ignore you. But now, he isn’t sure. He would usually ignore when the other men talk of you, how gorgeous you are, well that was true. However, when he overheard a man from the Komoku unit talk about the things he would do to you if he were in Kaji’s place, that had his blood boiling. His vices had to pull him off the guy as he pummeled the bastard with his fists, in a fit of anger he unsheathed his blade towards another Bofurin member, and Hiragi had to clash with him to pull him back to his senses. He never felt such a rage on behalf of anyone ever before in his life, the feeling scared him. Scared he would turn back into a beast. 
“Kaji, this is proof of your feelings towards your wife.” Hiragi pours him a cup of alcohol.
The younger male shakes his head in his hands, “That’s not possible.” 
“You fought on your wife’s honor this time, I won’t punish you…Lord General Militant Mizuki also wants to extend his apology to you and your wife.” 
“...Hiragi…how do you get along with your wife…?” Kaji strains out. 
“Are you having marital problems?” 
“We don’t talk, the only time I touched her was during the ring exchanging ceremony…we haven’t had…” 
“Your first time yet huh?” Hiragi finishes his sentence, “Well, I don't have a wife myself…my advice probably isn't the best in this situation. Let me ask you this Kaji, do you want to change your relationship with her now? Do you want to be closer to her?” 
Kaji pauses, does he want to be closer to you? The way you smile at everyone except him, offer your tender gaze to everybody else. He wants you to look at him the same way, to be the recipient of your affections. “I…I do…”
“Then you need to be upfront, try making subtle changes. Talk to her, ask her how her day was, and make an effort. Communication and honesty are key, but sometimes actions speak louder than words. Since you guys haven’t been intimate yet, it might take a while.” Kaji nods at his superior’s words. 
Glancing at your sleeping figure, he sighs. Stretching his arms out, hovering his hand before hesitantly touching your hair. The silky strands flow in between his fingers, he presses a kiss against it, breathing in your scent before letting go. Crossing his arms and entering a dreamless sleep as well.
“Miss, please don’t walk too fast.” Riko speeds up trying to catch up with you. “We shouldn’t wander too far from General Sakura Haruka and Lady Kotoha…” 
“It’s fine, I just want to see the hairpins in that shop, Tsuya’s about to give birth soon, I want to send her a gift. Will you help me pick something out? Riko…?” You turn around but don’t see her at all. Looking around, the crowds of people walking by make it difficult to spot her. An uneasy feeling creeps up, you should try going back to the way you came from. Retracing your steps, you're grabbed by your arm and yanked into an alleyway. “MMPH!” You try to scream, but a cloth is placed over your mouth. An odd scent fills your nostrils. 
Riko desperately tries to call out for you. You’re able to faintly hear her, before succumbing to unconsciousness. “Miss? Miss!” 
“Riko? What’s wrong?” Kotoha notices her panicking in the middle of the street. Sakura walks out of the medicine store behind Kotoha. 
“My lady! I can’t find her!” 
~
Stirring awake, you open your eyes to find yourself lying on the wooden floor of a shabby shack. Wigging your hands, your wrists and ankles are bound by a rope. Eyes darting around the room to see what was going on. 
“Lookie! She’s awake!” A man’s shrill voice pierces your ears. 
“She is? Hmm…?” A second voice. “Hey, you idiot! You grabbed the wrong chick! She ain’t Kotoha Tachibana!” The other man grabs him by the collar about to punch him. 
“Shit? Really? My bad my bad…you barely gave me anything to work with!” 
“Dumbass! You stupid fucker! We can’t get ransom with some unknown girl!” 
“You sure? Her kimono looks expensive~ She was also traveling with a Bofurin General, you know how protective that clan is with their members.” 
They continue arguing, and you see the door is slightly ajar. Squinting your eyes you can see a forest beyond it, now inspecting the men, you notice one has a dagger strapped to their thigh and the other has a katana on their hip. One of the men noticed you staring, “Well hello there…wow she’s a gorgeous girl. I’m sure we can sell her for a hefty bunch.” 
“She’s likely married, she ain’t a virgin, we can’t get that much.” He scoffs, rubbing at his temples. 
“Then lemme me play with her for a bit…, I went through so much trouble. We can just sell her to that old lady running that brothel. I’m sure she’ll rack in a bunch of money.” 
“Fine, sun sets in two hours.” A third voice speaks up, much for gruff than the other two. He leaves out the door.
“Fuck this, M’ going for a smoke.” The second voice leaves, leaving the door wider. Probably so he can hear if something goes wrong. With more sunlight pouring into the dark shed you can clearly see the man’s face, a dark scar running down it. 
“Whewwww…I’d never seen a woman prettier than ya. I’ll say…got permission to play with you too.” 
“Play?” You croak out. 
“How interesting! Not ‘Where am I?’ or a ‘Why are you doing this?’ hmmm?” 
“You wouldn’t tell me anyways.” Speaking as calmly as you can muster. 
“I like ya…don’t like my women all whiny and crying. Ruins my mood, I think I'll enjoy you. Might even visit you at the brothel we’ll sell you to.” He licks his lips, the action making bile come up your throat. “Righty! I got something that’ll make ya feel real good!” He pulls out a vial of liquid. “Pucker up!” You try moving back, but he grips your mouth, pouring it in. Closing your throat to prevent it from going down, he clicks his tongue and shoves two digits into the back of your throat making you gag the liquid down. “There we go! It ain’t poison if that’s why you're shaking.” He smiles. The murky substance drips down into your stomach as you cough. 
Grabbing the dagger at his thigh, you flinch, pressing back against the wall. He hums as he drags the tip down your chin and chest, the sharp blade cutting the front of your kimono, slowly exposing your chest. Dread fills you, is anyone coming to save you? Whatever he gave you, you didn’t have much time to waste. Clenching your fists you wait for him to take back the knife. A sinister grin on his face as he scoffs at your tough demeanor. He’s speaking, but you can’t hear him, focusing on when the knife will be farthest away from you, he starts waving it around, pointing outside. 
Slipping your hands out the rope you’ve been working at, you lunge at the man. Moving like how your brother taught you. Pushing him backward, kneeing him in the crotch, and shoving your elbow into his mouth to shut him up. The dagger slips out of his hand as he tries to shove you off, biting down on your flesh. Grabbing the blade, you plunge it repeatedly into his neck. Over and over again until he stops moving and his eyes roll back. Dark red liquid oozes out of the protruding skin, flowing down onto the floor. The man goes limp and you finally back off, looking over at the door to see if anyone was coming back inside. Slicing your ankles free.
Making a run for it, kicking off your shoes and socks, you dash out into the forest. The two other men shout behind you, chasing you down. Your lungs screaming at you, and your knees crying out as adrenaline rushes into your veins. Stumbling over a few sticks and rocks, you pray to not lose your footing. Tears bubble in your vision as you blink them away, a silent prayer for any kind of help. 
“Stop! You bitch!” They scream after you. 
Gasping for air as you feel your limit approaching. Right out the corner of your eye, you see a slip of green moving, Bofurin green. 
“Ren!” You wail, turning to run in the new direction. Please, please, please. 
“Over here!” A new voice shouts. You catch sight of the burgundy-haired man, Vice General Suo Hayato. He raises his bow, aiming behind you. His lone red eye is steady as he shoots, and you trip as the arrow passes by. Finally, looking behind you, the men turn tail and run, fleeing to save their lives. Panting on the ground, throat dry and hoarse. Someone engulfs you in their arms. Wrapping themselves around you. Who is it? Vision is blurry as your head is tilted back, the deafening ringing in your ears, and all you can see is gray. 
~
“Lord General Kaji! Lord General Kaji!” Eyes look up as Nirei bursts into the meeting hall. 
“What’s going on?” The Lord Commander stands up. 
“The Lady– Lady Kaji– she’s gone!” For the first time in his life, Kaji feels his blood run cold.    
~
The nearby forest was the first place to search. Bandits would kidnap women, often holding them there. He wasn’t much religious, but he begged and pleaded for any higher being to ensure you were safe. Hopelessness, regret, desperation, what else could he feel? 
Don’t be hurt, don’t be injured, please don’t die. 
All he can do is blame himself for his carelessness, touching your disheveled limp form, he wants to puke. Your cheek, colorless and clammy, holding you tightly against him. 
If only he paid more attention if only he accompanied you if only it wasn’t like this. 
On one hand, he was terrified of being vulnerable, but on the other, he wouldn’t mind being blinded by his emotions since you had become his whole world. He could no longer deny it, he fell helplessly under your charms from the moment he saw you. He no longer wanted to deny it. 
“Go after them! Don’t kill them, not until I talk with them!” His men obey his orders, hunting down the kidnappers. 
“She doesn’t look good, we should take her to Lady Kotoha–” Suo reaches down to feel your temperature. 
Kaji slaps his hand away, “Don’t you dare touch her.” He bares his fangs, wrapping you in his haori and carrying you away, away from the miserable place. 
~
Whose crying? 
Mother? 
Tsuya? 
It hurts. 
I can’t breathe. 
Anybody…
~
“Is it poison?” 
Kotoha shakes her head, “It’s a common aphrodisiac, but what they gave her is a much more potent form.” She hands him a jar, “This might ease the pain…” 
“How do I make it go away? How– How can she no longer be in pain…?” Clenching his fists at his sides, he is unable to look at your writhing form. 
“The quickest way is a release. It’ll detoxify her.” 
“You can’t mean–” Kotoha nods. “We– We haven’t even–” 
“Lord General, you’re her husband.” She calls his title to ground him, “Since you guys haven’t…you can do it without penetration.” Kotoha glances at his hand. She stands, a slight bow before leaving, shutting the doors behind her. 
Kaji sees you grasping at your chest, at the torn kimono, he grits his teeth. Sitting on the edge of the bed and pushing your hair out of your sweaty face. Your pretty face scrunched up in agony. He wants to cry. 
“Help– cough hurts…” Your eyes open, staring at him with a drugged gaze. Tears slipping down. 
Wiping them away with his thumb, “Don’t cry, please don’t cry– I’m going to take care of you…” Pulling you into his lap, feeling how you're overheating, seeing you in pain stabs at his heart. He tries to remember the boys talking about their night deeds, to remember how to do this. Gulping, he pulls the end of your kimono up to your thighs, deeply inhaling before he moves his fingers closer to your core. It's wet, dripping, crying out, for something, anything. Your hips twitch at the contact of his digits against your folds. The drug destroys all reason as you grip his thighs and roll your hips. Mewling when your clit touches the tip of his finger. “Shhh, it's okay…” Kaji smoothes your hair down. Slipping one finger in, you gasp as you throw your head back against his shoulder. He begins to curl it, squishing it against your walls. 
Choking out a moan as he inserts another finger, pushing them in and out of your cunt. He closely watches your reactions, the way you jolt and squirm when he presses against your g-spot. His restraint breaks, he wants to bring you to your release and make you feel better. 
Your cries of pleasure fill the room as he quickly finger fucks you, slipping his other hand down to play with your clit. “Guh– mmnn s’good!” Slurring out, unable to form any actual words. The desire for more, your eyes catch onto his dark gray ones, his Adam's apple moving as he swallows. He shivers and lowly groans when your plush lips make contact with the skin of his neck, suckling on it. Your hot slimy muscle lapping at the sweat beading on him. 
He breathes harshly, telling himself you're not in your right mind, to stay on task. How he dreamt of you making these sweet noises in the dead of night, having you all to himself, making you, his. It’s driving him wild. 
You begin thrashing, Kaji tightens his hold on you, keeping you in place. You claw at his arms, body trembling as you come undone. Mouth ajar as you gush, clear streams spraying out of you onto the sheets and flow. Continuing to move his hands to prolong your orgasm, helping you ride it out. You shake against him, he can see the change in your eyes, the drugged haziness clearing up a bit, making you more aware. The aphrodisiac is wearing off. “Ren…” You murmur before going limp, exhausted, and drained. It made sense for you to pass out. His forearm against your head, you’re cooled down now. 
Placing you back down on the bed, Kaji calls in a servant to help clean you as he makes his way into the washroom. Standing behind the door as he palms his hard cock, his pants straining against it. Tugging his cock out he spits on his head to pump himself. Replaying your moans and expressions as he works himself to his climax. The way you called his given name– cum spurting out his angry red tip as he gasps your name over and over again. Fuck.
~
The windchime jingles, and you wake up, oddly refreshed. “My lady!” Riko throws herself beside your bed, “I–I was so scared!” She helps you sit up, fat tears pouring out her eyes. 
“Are you alright…? I gave you some medicine…” Kotoha places her hand over yours. 
“Kotoha..?” You didn’t expect her to be by your bedside when you awoke. 
“They were after me…I feel responsible.” The brunette frowns, rubbing at the back of your hand. 
“It wasn’t your fault.” You give her a warm smile, happy she was alright. 
~
Riko helps you get dressed, stepping into the inner chamber, “What is… all this…?” 
“Oh! They are all gifts from the Lord!” She chimes. 
Kaji? Why would he buy you gifts? Wouldn’t he be upset with you for causing such a mess?
Opening one of the many boxes stacked on top of another, a pair of ruby earrings gleams at you. The mountain of gifts costing a fortune, from luxurious fabrics to priceless jewels, you couldn’t fathom why he would do something so out of character. “My lady.” A footman approaches with a small box. 
“Yes?” Ushering him forward. 
He stops in front of you and opens the box, “This is the key to the family treasury.” 
“From who?” 
“From the Lord General…?” He looks confused, who else could bestow another the precious key to their family’s treasury if not the head themself? Each family’s treasury contained heirlooms and valuables that have been passed from generation to generation. Why is Kaji entrusting you with it? Too shocked to even say anything, the man sets it down on the small table and bows himself out. 
“So many gifts…” “Even the treasury key!” “His lordship is so romantic!” The servants whisper amongst themselves. 
“Miss! Why don't you try on this hair ornament!” Riko holds out the gold jewelry, eyes sparkling at the idea of dressing you up. 
~
Instructing the servants to leave the boxes untouched in the room, because certainly they weren’t for you. Perhaps his new wife, finally taking another after the incident you made. Slouching in Kotoha’s chair as she applies ointment onto your elbow, “What’s wrong?” 
She rubs at your chin as you confess everything, the loveless marriage, the kidnapping, and the gifts. “Well, do you not like it?” She asks. 
“That’s not it, it feels weird…maybe he’s taking in another bride?” 
Kotoha choked on her tea, coughing, “You think he’s marrying another woman?” 
Maybe Kaji lost his mind, is there any medicine to cure insanity? 
She studies you, seriously pondering Kaji marrying another. Clearing her throat, “Do you hate him? What are your feelings towards him?” 
No; you don’t hold that much resentment to say you hated him. But remembering how he ignored you up until now makes your insides churn, he would say no more than a word when you tried to talk to him. He avoided you all morning and only returned at night. At Tsuya’s wedding, Kaji didn’t even want to enter with you, telling you to be with your sister. Did he not accept you as a family member? Servants from all families murmured and whispered behind your back, your mother telling you it must be because you were doing a poor job at being a wife. Ever since that day, you turned even colder to Kaji, you stopped making attempts at talking to him and being around him. 
Sitting back in the library you thumb mindlessly through a book. Since you married, you often spent days here, reading through piles of books. 
Why was Kaji paying attention to you? Why now? 
Your elbow throbs, lightly touching it remembering the events that took place. You killed a man, opening your trembling hand, clenching it closed. It had to be. You would rather have plunged the knife into your own throat than be sold off. Wishing the wound would hurry and heal so you would forget all about him.
The aphrodisiac. It was painful–wasn’t it? Taking the time to comb through your memories of the aftermath, someone came to your rescue, was it Kaji? Slamming the book shut as you start to remember snippets. The librarian attendant looks up at you. Storming out and back to the bedroom, throwing yourself onto the sheets, burying your face into it. Kaji’s fingers– Ren’s fingers were inside you. Squeezing your thighs together, heat pools inside you. 
The chamber doors slide open, “Are you still sick?” 
Turning your head to see your husband. His haori is gone, hair slightly wet as the front of his kimono is open, exposing his chest. “W-Why are you dressed like that…” He tilts his head, “I just finished training with the other units.” He shuts the doors, “Did you like it?” Did you like the gifts? Eagerly awaiting your answer, he would be pleased to hear you liked even one of the items. 
“Can– Can we walk…?” Your voice trembles. 
“Sure.” Kaji sits down on the edge of the bed. “What do you want to talk about?” 
“Why are you being so nice?” 
“Can I not be nice to my wife?” 
“Don’t you hate me?” 
Kaji pauses, trying to calm his racing pulse, “I…” he began, faltering slightly, “I never hated you, I swear it upon my life. I just… I didn’t understand why we were being forced into this…it was a marriage of convenience.” Leaning forward so he can see you more clearly. “But I never hated you,” he repeated, “and I definitely don’t hate you now. Now…now I actually like you. A lot…I liked you the moment I saw you. I thought you would be better with someone else, someone who could treat you better than I could, you look so fragile…I was afraid of destroying someone as gentle as you. The feeling was so overwhelming I wanted to drown it out, I had never felt such a strong emotion before, and I didn’t want to be vulnerable to turn back into what I feared. But I no longer want to deny it. I…I love you…” His gray eyes search yours for any sign of disbelief, pouring his soul out for you. Ripping back his skin to show you his flesh and bones. 
Taking a moment to process what he told you, “If you keep acting like this…I might fall for you…” Mumbling against the pillow. 
Ren smiles at you, “Then I’ll have to work hard.” Brushing a strand of hair out your face, showing the blush in your cheeks. How can someone be this cute?
“Ren?” His breath hitches at the sound of his name coming from your lips. 
“Yeah?” he said, his voice husky. “What is it…?”
“Can I embrace you?” 
He was caught off guard by your innocent question. Quickly regaining his composure, he didn’t hesitate for a second before answering. “Yeah…” his voice soft and a bit shaky, “Of course you can hug me.” Ren opens his arms, gesturing for you to come closer. His heart was racing, the thought of holding you sent his nerve endings into a frenzy. You sat up and shuffled next to him, wrapping your arms around him. Was he always this warm? 
Ren felt a rush of heat, your body pressing against his, his heart a thousand beats per minute, as he wrapped his arms around you, shifting so he could pull you tightly towards his chest. Burying his nose into your hair taking a deep inhale, the scent stirring his brain. “You're so warm…” You speak against him. 
“You’re one to talk,” he murmured, his hands gently tracing up and down your back. “You’re like a warm, soft little furnace.” Nuzzling against your neck, his touch becoming more firm, more possessive. You let out a chuckle, relaxing into him. The sound made his heart swell with affection, “You’re too cute,” his lips brushed against the shell of your ear. “It should be a crime to be this adorable…” Caressing your cheek with his hand. 
You reach up to hold it, bringing it into your lap to fiddle with it. Ren watches you curiously at the small, intimate gesture. “Are you free tomorrow?” 
Ren blinked, “Yeah. I can request to have the day off. Why?” 
“I want to renew our wedding rings. Mine no longer fits me, I haven’t worn it in a while– but, it’s okay if you don’t want to.” Trying not to get ahead of yourself. 
He looked down at your hand in his, the absence of a ring suddenly more apparent to him. He too hasn’t worn his own in a long time. “No…No, let’s do that. I’ll summon a craftsman first thing tomorrow.” 
Watching as he brings your hand to his lips, placing a kiss on where the band will be, looking directly at you as he does. The thought of replacing the old rings that sat in a box somewhere was exciting and nerve-wracking all at once.  
With a wave of confidence you cup his face and pull him down, a light kiss on his lips. “Thank you for the gifts…” Sheepishly smiling at your bold move. Ren malfunctions for a second before placing a hand on the back of your head and pushing you towards him in a heated sloppy kiss. You fist at his kimono as he slides his tongue into your mouth, you struggle to match his pace. He tastes like candy. Breaking the kiss, he leans back and lets out a laugh at your flustered face making you pout. 
Tapping the tip of your nose with the back of his finger, “I couldn’t help myself.” 
Feeling on the losing side you surge up to kiss him again, leading it this time, making small licks on his lips before delving your tongue in. He hoists you up so you're straddling him. “Fuck…you have no idea how long I wanted to do this.” Gripping at your hips, you pant against his face. 
“I want this to be our actual first time.” His heart skipped a beat when you spoke
This time it would be real. There would be no doubt, no uncertainty, no barriers with you. He speaks low and rough, “I want nothing more than for this to be our first actual time.” Tilting your chin so he could look into your eyes, “Are you sure you want this…with me…?” Ren had to be certain, he had to know if this was what you truly wanted. You nod, “Yeah…you too?”
His response was firm and sure as a rock, “Yes, I want this too. I want you. More than anything.” The intensity of his gaze makes your stomach flip-flop, sending a million butterflies winging their way through your body. “I want you so badly, it hurts.” 
Swiftly undressing you, throwing your sash on the floor, opening up your kimono and your juban, Opening you up like a rose. Kissing down the valley of your breasts, down your navel. Sitting back up, he hooks a hand under your knee, bringing it up to place a kiss on the bone, all the way down to your ankle. Ren presses your foot against his forehead, a final kiss on the top of it, sending a shiver down your spine. His dedication towards you. 
You sigh when he slots himself between your legs. Dipping his neck down to your pussy, licking a stripe, making you arch your back. “Ren…” His name falling from your lips makes his head spin. The suckling on your clit, his fingers scissoring you open. The wet squealing makes his cock throb, festering all the restraint he can to hold himself back from taking you like an animal. Gripping at his blonde locks, your back lifts, rolling against his face. He brings a hand up to toy with your pert nipple, dark eyes looking up at you. The eye contact has you cumming, whining out his name as you cream on his face. 
Hair splayed over the pillow as you pant, chest rising up and down. Watching Ren strip himself completely bare. A rush of nerves, that he picks up on, “Relax, I’ll take care of you princess.” Licking his hand and rubbing his tip to lubricate it, he lines himself up. His skin was hot against yours as he caged you between his arms underneath him. His battle-hardened body hovering right above you. “You’re so beautiful…I can’t believe you're mine—I need you, I need to be inside you, to feel you around me…please, princess…let me have you.” The Lord General Kaji Ren, pleading to you, to have you. Wrapping your arms around his neck, “I’m already yours…” 
A wave of possessiveness washed over him, it was no doubt you were his, but hearing you say it, was music to his ears. He began to press against you, the tip of his cock seeking your entrance, he watched your face as he slowly pushed inside. Squeezing your eyes shut at the intrusion, “Shhh…focus on breathing…focus on me.” Ren coos at you. Easing himself inside, bullying his dick into your warm walls, the sensation of your body enveloping him was overwhelming. Clenching his jaw to hold himself back, to go slow and gentle, despite the screaming urge to claim you completely. “Relax and let me in. I’ll make it feel good princess, I promise.” The straining in his tone as he fights against himself. Tears begin to slip down your cheeks, “Are you okay? Am I hurting you?” Kotoha told him the first time would be uncomfortable for you. 
Opening your eyes, “No, it’s just…I’m happy…Ren…” The sight of your smile, the mixture of pleasure and pain. This was more than physical pleasure, it was something deeper, something more intimate than he’d ever experienced before. “You’re gonna make me emotional, brat.” He chuckles out. Reaching up to touch his cheek, “You don’t have to hold back…I trust you.” Your words have him letting out a guttural groan. His self-control starts to fray, hiking one of your legs up his waist, and he begins to move. Catching your hand to interlace with his, he starts with slow strokes, paying attention to your reactions. The little mewls you let out fueled him to move faster and faster until he was pounding into you. Your tits bounce at the impact of the snap of his hips as you throw your head back, gurgled moans escaping. 
Babbling out his name as you cream around his dick again, a white ring forming at the base. He was moving on autopilot, utterly pussydrunk, chasing the pleasure. “Ren—guh—!” Clawing at his shoulders. Dipping his head, sweat drips onto your skin, splattering on you. His hands were on your hips, holding you down as he drove into you, his body working instinctively to find that release. “Princess—I’m gonna…I’m oh shit—“ Feeling himself tether on the edge. “Come with me…come with me now—“ 
His demand has you gushing around him. Coating his pelvis and happy trail with your essence, your cunt squeezing him tight was what sent him over the edge. A low groan as he spills himself inside you. Burying his face into your neck, ragged breathing as he rode out the waves of his orgasm with you. Ren could feel your skin against his, the heat between you two, and he could smell your scent, the scent of the two of you together. 
With you by his side, he could do anything. 
~
“Ren, don’t you need to go?” Setting your book down as you look down at the man kneeling on the floor, his head in your lap. “Later.” He grumbles. Reaching down to ruffle his hair, the gold ring glimmers, the sight makes you wonder if he was such a feared man. “I don’t want to leave you…or our child.” Ren turns his head to look at your showing stomach, his heart blooming. 
~
Dear Tsuya, 
I hope you enjoy reading this letter and it finds you well. Remember when we were kids and you would ask me what kind of man I want my husband to be? I now have the answer,  I would want him to be Kaji Ren. There is no other I wish to take as my husband, even with our misfortune, we were able to find our paths. In Bofurin, I can’t tell you how ridiculously happy I am. Give my warm wishes to Akihito and my nephew, spring is coming soon again. 
We will welcome our firstborn in the fall. If it is a girl, I will name her after you, after my dear elder sister. 
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