#what’s the point of friends who won’t even text me to hang out for literal years criticising a dude who’s just a bit lame sometimes

[elllisaaa]

how ateez would confess to you

-> words count : 3.7k words

-> genre : ateez members crushing on you

-> warnings : just a lot of sweetness

-> sorry if I made any spelling or grammar mistakes, english is not my first language

-> reblogs and feedbacks are appreciated !

-> masterlist | ateez masterlist

KIM HONGJOONG - JEALOUS

he’s the type to be bold. but like REALLY bold. 

like he’s not embarrassed at all to check you out when you ask him if your outfit looks good and say “it looks more than good, don’t worry.” with that damn smirk screaming in my pillow.

he’s also very protective - always has his hand on the small of your back when you’re walking in a crowded place, and always gives you his jacket or sweater if you’re cold or feeling uncomfortable. 

he has an eye on you wherever you two are going to be sure that you’re safe. 

asks you to send him a message so he is sure that you’re home whenever you go out of work, or hang out late without him, or when he can’t walk you home. 

that being said, it’s also a fact that this man is possessive.

have you seen him whenever an atiny mentions liking another group, or going to other concerts than theirs ?

he would be the same with you.

but since you’re not yet a couple, he tries to hide it as well as he can.

but jealousy would be his breaking point. 

seeing you laugh and joke with some trainee of the agency he didn’t even know the name of really made his blood boil. 

his death stare was burning holes in the back of the head of the poor boy you were talking with. 

he would approach both of you, and as if the trainee wasn’t already intimidated by hongjoong presence, he was looking at him like he killed someone lmao.

the trainee was almost shaking when hongjoong dragged you away from him under a ridiculous excuse. 

“- Joong ! Where are we going ?”

He didn’t answer, jaw clenched and his grip on your wrist almost painful as he brought you to his studio. Hongjoong closed the door behind the two of you, just to have the time to think about the way he was going to explain himself. He always succeeded in controlling himself and mostly his jealousy, but today, he didn’t exactly know why, it was too hard seeing you with someone else, laughing like you should be with only him. 

“- Hongjoong ? What’s gotten into you ?”

He took a deep breath. Maybe it was finally the moment to say the truth. It would take a weight out of his shoulder, and he could have an answer to all his questions. Hongjoong turned towards you, a smirk on his lips.

“- You want me to be honest ?”

You simply nobbed, looking at him expectantly, and even if he acted confident, his heart was beating fast. 

“- I didn’t like seeing you laugh with another guy. Well, I didn’t like it every other time it happened. But I think today was just too much to bear for me. Because I love you. I want you to be mine, only mine. I want to be the one who makes you laugh like that, and I want you to be the one who makes me laugh. What do you say ?”

The blush creeping on your cheeks as you listened to his words, and watched his grin widened was really noticeable. But your smile was even more telling to him.

“- I say yes.”

“from now on and forever, I won’t let you go. you’re mine.”

PARK SEONGHWA - SAFE

he is literally the sweetest person ever. 

the type to text you throughout the day to ask if you have eaten and if your answer is no, expect him to be at your door in 5 minutes, drank or took a break. 

so, so caring and always there whenever you need him.

mention that you had a bad day or are a little down ? expect a movie night, your favorite snacks and a lot of cuddles from hwa. 

speaking of that, he sometimes always acts as if he was your boyfriend. 

not that it’s bothering you, on the contrary, but he still claims to everyone that you two are just best friends. 

and that’s confusing because he’s out there holding your hands, putting his arm on your shoulder, cuddling with you. 

to be honest, seonghwa has been trying to make things ambiguous between the two of you lately, in hopes that you would take the hint that he likes you.

like that one time he pushed a strand of your hair behind your ear and you thought that he was about to kiss you.  

so tonight, while he was laying on top of you on your couch, focused on the show playing on the TV, you decided it was time to clarify this situation.

“- Hwa ?”

The man turned his head towards you at the mention of his surname, big doe eyes watching you and waiting for what you wanted to say. You hoped that he couldn’t hear how fast your heart was beating. 

“- Can I ask you a question ?

- Yeah, of course.”

Seonghwa’s smile almost made your hands shake, and you came back to playing with his hair to try and hide it.

“- What are we ?”

It was as if the whole world had stopped spinning for Seonghwa. Was it finally happening ? Was this your way of asking him to be more than friends ? He silently prayed for it, closing his eyes for a second to gather his thoughts, and also to escape your piercing gaze that was making him even more nervous than he already was. 

“- I’m willing to be whatever you want us to be angel.

- And what do you think of… You being mine, and me being yours ?”

Seonghwa giggled quietly, burying his face in the crook of your neck to hide the red tint on his cheeks. His arms, that circled your waist, tightened their grip, not planning on letting you go anytime soon. 

“that’ll be perfect. that’s what i wanted us to be all along.”

JEONG YUNHO - SLEEPY

100% golden retriever energy, you can’t say otherwise i’ll fight.

i don’t know, he just gives this puppy boyfriend vibes, all fluffy and clingy and sweet, he’s just so cute honestly.  

the type to always want to hang out, because his love language his quality time.

will make it a ritual to eat with you at least 2 times a week, weekend hangouts where you either simply go shopping or sometimes he plans activities, and movie nights too. 

so smiley around you his cheeks hurts when he goes home after spending the day with you. 

he gets especially giggly every time you do something a little silly, like when you trip while trying to show him something.

always makes sure you’re alright afterwards though.

to put it in a nutshell, he’s just very cute.

but he finds you even more cute, particularly when you’re all sleepy. 

because then you snuggle up to him, seeking his warmth, and you often fall asleep on him, unaware of how much you make his heart flutter. 

during your usual movie night, you felt tired and rested on his shoulder.

As Yunho heard your breathing become more regular, he assumed that you were asleep. He was always so glad that you felt safe enough around him to be this vulnerable. And mostly, he got to admire your beautiful face without risking you to catch him. He didn’t know why but tonight, he felt on the verge of telling you. And after all, you were asleep, you couldn’t hear him. He already said it to you a few times like that, what could go wrong ?

“- You’re breathtaking Y/N, really… I love you.”

As Yunho was ready to cover you with a blanket to keep you even more warm, your voice stopped him in his tracks.

“- Can you say it again ? I’m not sure I understood.”

His panicked eyes turned to your fully awake ones, looking at him with a mischievous glint. The poor boy gulped loudly, not knowing if he was going to be in trouble or if you were just messing with him, as you always did. 

“- I-I love you, I really do. I just… It was easier telling you when you couldn’t reject me.”

A shy chuckle escaped him as he averted your gaze, missing the smile eating your whole face at his confession. 

“- Look at me, big baby.”

And when he eventually did, you finally answered his silent interrogation.

“- I love you too, so much.”

Yunho engulfed you in the biggest hug, already taking advantage of your new relationship.

“I can’t wait to spend every day and every night by your side.”

KANG YEOSANG - PERFECT

he’s not very talkative, in the sense that he’s not always making remarks about what you tell him.

but don’t worry, he got it all written in his head. 

it could be the most useless detail about a story that happened to you years ago, and he still will remember it.

because you’re too precious to him to forget anything about you he’s so boyfriend material.

the type to take notice of what you like to eat.

say that you love a certain type of food one time, and you’ll get it every now and then. 

he remembers your coffee order from day one.

also a really good listener and give the best advice. 

that being said, he’s the type to notice if you looked at something with envy in a shop, or said that you wanted this or that.

and bets that he’ll confess with a little gift that he bought for you.

maybe that’ll be a waste of money if you say no, but he doesn’t care, you’re worth it.

so he’ll buy this necklace you’ve been talking about for weeks, and come to you one day, almost out of the blue to offer it to you.

“- You shouldn’t have, really. That’s too much.

- It’s never too much when it comes to you.”

You were blushing like crazy, as much as from his words and how his fingers brushed against your skin as Yeosang attached the necklace for you. His eyes reflected nothing but love and adoration when he looked at you. 

“- You’re beautiful, it suits you perfectly.

- Thank you so much Sangie ! But what is this for ? It’s not my birthday or anything special…”

Yeosang lowered his head for several seconds before mustering the courage to let the words finally spill from his mouth. They were coming out so naturally that it seemed like you were truly made for one another.

“- I wanted to give you this just because you loved it, but also to remind you how much I love you. And I don’t mean it in a friendly way. I like you. And I hope, if you return my feelings, that this necklace is gonna remind you of that everyday.”

Your smile was enough of an answer for him, but you took a step forward, putting your hand on Yeosang’s cheek and making his heart beat faster. 

“- I’ll wear it everyday from now on. I must find something for you to wear and remember how much I love you too.”

“let’s get matching ones then, that’ll make us soulmates.”

CHOI SAN - FORCED

now this boy is the most obvious when it comes to crushes.

like all the members could tell that he was down bad for you since the first day.

but you didn’t seem to notice.

however, it was indeed very clear since he looked at you as if you put all the stars in the sky. 

really, i don’t understand how you didn’t notice.

beside the fact that he’s literally a simp for you, he’s also been your best friend for several years now, and he knows you like the back of his hand except your undying love for him.

he had always been by your side : when you were sad or happy, when you had your first crush and even when you got drunk for the first time. 

the members having obviously noticed how san was struggling to tell you how he felt, they tried to help him multiple times.

to be honest, this was not really efficient but at least they tried. 

the latest attempt was at this little party they planned at the dorms, and of course you were invited.

at one point, everyone gathered to play truth or dare, and of course, it was a trick to get you two to confess to each other not very slick, yeah.

“- So San, truth or dare ?

- Truth, I have nothing to hide.”

His confident smile made you chuckle, knowing all his embarrassing secrets and also knowing how much he, in fact, had to hide. 

“- Well, then tell us who your crush is.”

The smirk on Yunho’s face made a deep contrast with the defeated one on San face. You felt your own smile flatter as you tried not to look at your best friend. You knew this day would come. Of course San wouldn’t stay with you until your old days. Of course he would find a better partner. You were only his best friend, not his lover. 

“- I… Uh-

- I thought you had nothing to hide, Sannie.”

The group laughed collectively at Wooyoung's remark, except you and San. You were almost ready to stand up and leave when your best friend turned to you.

“- Y/N… I really love you.”

Your eyes widened as San ran away immediately. Around you, the members were all whistling and making weird noises. But you didn’t hear them. You only heard San’s words again and again. Quickly after, you followed him to the kitchen. He had to know how much you loved him too. When you found him, he had his head pressed on the fridge, eyes closed and probably overthinking everything he had ever said and done.

“- San…”

He turned to you quickly, worry filling up his gaze.

“- Listen Y/N, I’m really sorry ! I shouldn't have said that in front of everyone, I should’ve kept it for a moment just between us, or never tell you at all in fact. I apologize for making you feel uncomfortable and I’m- 

- San, stop.”

You took a step toward him, your smile eating your face. 

“- We’ve known each other for years, you’ll never make me uncomfortable. Stop thinking too much, okay ? ‘Cause I love you too, since I don’t even remember when because you’re the most important person in my life.”

No answer came except his lips on yours, and his hand on your waist, pulling you against his body.

“i’ve always known that one day we’ll be together, and that one day i’ll marry you. but let’s keep that for later.”

SONG MINGI - DRUNK

the boy is a stuttering and nervous mess around you.

blushing everytime you smile at him, but denying it if you ever mention it before blushing even more, he’s so cute.

besides the fact he’s so impressed by your charisma and presence, he’s very funny around you.

the type to make the dumbest jokes and put himself in ridiculous situations if that makes you laugh.

because your smile and laugh are the most beautiful things he had ever seen and heard.

it’s so funny to see a big guy like him being so amazed by just one person, you find that really endearing. 

but that also means that he’s not brave at all. 

like, if he ever tried to just muster up the courage to tell you that he has the biggest crush on you, he would chicken out as soon as he saw you.

and I think that to be able to confess, he would have to take a little liquid courage yes, that means getting drunk.

one night, the boys were celebrating the release of their new comeback with some drinks and mingi asked you to come with them.

and of course, he’ll end up drinking too much, hoping that he would either stop thinking about you or finally telling you how he felt. 

“- Y/N !”

Mingi’s scream made you jolt in place and turn around quickly, smiling when you saw him trying to walk straight in your direction, with his rosy cheeks and glossy eyes. He was cute, really cute. But you didn’t expect him to literally throw himself in your arms. You caught him as best as you could, shivering as his breath tickled your neck.

“- Are you alright Mingi ?”

He nodded his head, trying to steady himself and standing straight on his feet again. You looked up at him, preparing yourself to decode his slurred words. 

“- Yeah… Yes, I’m alright but I wanted to say something to you… I really, really like you… I mean, like you, not like a friend, I want you to be my lover… Because I love you.”

A smirk tugged at the corner of your lips, and Mingi’s heart skipped a beat. His brain was all mushy just from seeing your gaze focused on him and only him, and alcohol wasn’t helping at all in controlling the blush on his cheeks.

“- I like you too Mingi, and I would like to be your lover too. But we’ll talk about this when you’re sober, okay ?”

________________________________________

“- I really said that ?”

You chuckled lightly, caressing his cheeks softly, diving in his mesmerizing, hypnotizing eyes.

“- Yeah, you did. But to be honest, it was very cute. You’re very cute anyway. So, would you like to be my lover Mingi ?”

The boy in question pecked your lips, smiling too.

“that’s not even a question princess. i’ll be by your side as long as you’ll let me stay.”

JUNG WOOYOUNG - IMPULSIVE

i see him as someone very spontaneous.

if he passes by a restaurant he likes, no matter what hour it is or what he has to do, he’ll stop and eat. 

if he likes someone, he’s gonna tell them. 

that’s what you love about him, and that’s also probably how you met.

he was certainly doing something stupid, as always, and ran into you, making you fall on the floor. 

and boom ! you were best friends forever.

he didn’t stop doing ridiculous things, on the contrary since he noticed that you’re in the same mood as him and that it’s making you laugh, he’ll be doing it even more. 

but the thing is that wooyoung wants way more than being friends since the first day.

but now that he’s got you in his life, he’s a little (very) afraid of losing you. 

so he’s gonna try and hide his feelings as best as he can. 

but when he passed by this flower shop, and saw your favourite ones standing outside, he couldn’t help thinking of you.

and that’s how he ended up at your door, with the flowers, trying to calm himself down.

“- Woo ? What are you doing here ?

- I.. Uh… These are for you !”

He handed you the flowers, feeling a blush creeping on his cheeks as you took them hesitatingly. Wooyoung never felt so nervous in his life. Even before his first concert, even before his first fanmeeting. Even with all the stressful events he had experienced being an idol, he never got so anxious. 

“- Thank you, I guess ? What are these for ? It’s not my birthday, nor anything special I think.”

You chuckled at your own words, leaving Wooyoung asking himself why he did that.

“- Don’t get me wrong ! I like them, they’re beautiful and I’m surprised you even remembered what my favourite flowers were ! But why ? I don’t understand…”

He thought about letting out all the words he kept for himself for weeks, but he just couldn’t bring himself to do it. So instead, he leaned in to kiss you. It was not even a peck : he kissed you passionately, like it was the last thing he got to do before dying. You let the flowers fall to the floor, dropping them without any regrets when you tug at Wooyoung’s hair, deepening your kiss. And his smile when you backed out for air told you everything you needed to know. 

“i’ll buy you flowers everyday if it means i get to kiss you like this.”

CHOI JONGHO - TEXT

first thing first, this man’s smile could kill you and me, he’s so cute that’s got to be illegal.

the type to value your friendship so much, to the point he prefers to just be your friend than ever risking your relationship if he’s not 100% certain that your feelings are mutual.

his crush developed slowly, falling for you little by little and growing fond of you much more as time passed.

the members noticed how much he liked you when they saw that jongho lets you sleep on his shoulder whenever you are tired.

or when he willingly hugs you every time you need it.

he doesn’t like physical contact but with you, it’s natural and he sincerely appreciates it.

so careful when it comes to his feelings, because he doesn’t want to lose you or upset you.

that’s why i think he would confess through very, very long messages he’ll send late at night.

probably threw his phone away as soon as he did it, not wanting to see your response. 

but that’s also why he did it : to let you choose if you wanted to respond or just ignore what he just told you. 

so when you called the next day, he panicked.

“- Hi Jongho ! 

- H-Hi Y/N.”

At least, your tone seemed as cheerful as usually, and not upset or disappointed.

“- I must admit I was really surprised when I saw your texts when I woke up this morning. I was not expecting that at all.

- And… Is it in a bad or a good way ?”

Jongho didn’t want to pressure you, but he needed to know how you felt, needed to know if he should smile or bury himself six feet under. 

“- In a good way, don’t worry.”

You clearly heard his sigh of relief, which made you both chuckle at the other end of the phone. And both of you had the biggest smile on your faces.

“- I’ll need at least two hours to even come close to a good answer and I don’t have the time right now. So just listen to that : I like you too, so much you can’t imagine. But if you’re willing to listen to my boring ramble for hours…”

“i love listening to you, I’ll never get tired of it..”

-> i don't allow any copies, reposts or translations of my works.

[simp4fictionalmenandjesus]

yandere rin itoshi>>>

he will be soooo cold and not outwardly affectionate (at first) but on the inside he is absolutely OBSESSED.

like rin will seem literally so indifferent to you, but every-time you glance at him, he’ll be purposely not making eye contact because if he does he will be SOOOO RED, because even though it doesn’t show, your slightest acknowledgment cause rin to FREAK out. ‘omg omg omg she’s looking at me what do i do… she’s so pretty fuck i love her so much. if she keeps looking over here i don’t think i’ll be able to restrain myself🙏🙏🙏.’

you would think that when you start dating it gets better but bro… it gets worse💀💀💀. you’ll text him, not anything specific, just a normal text, something as simple as ‘hi, what are you up to?’ and he will leave you on read. it takes him around 8 hours to reply because he is overfilled with joy that you texted him. he is giggling and kicking his feet in the air type shit.

one day you texted him, asking if he wanted to get dinner, this was the first time that rin’s teammates have ever witnessed him smile. you texted him before his game against the U-20 japan team, wishing him luck and telling him you’d be cheering in the stands, and omfg. everyone in that locker room was like 🙀. rin was straight up smiling, and not one of those devious smiles his teammates were used to, this smile was a soft, ‘i’m so in love’ smile. you best believe that someone, (bachira), teased him PROFUSELY.

talking about the U-20 game, the first thing he did on court, before directing murderous thoughts towards his brother, was look for you in the stands. when he found you, he smiled softly, which you 100% could not see because well, you didn’t bring binoculars. after the match, he went to find you immediately, he didn’t even bother changing out of his jersey, so bro was sweaty as hell.

he hugged you incredibly tight, like bone crushingly tight. he lifted you up the ground and was kissing you profusely. this was actually the turning point in your relationship where rin started showing affection.

he introduced you to the blue lock team that day, just because he did not want to let you out of his sight for a second but he had to recuperate with ego and the team. so essentially. rin forced you to wait outside the locker rooms for him while he showered and since he was clinging to you straight after the match, his teammates finished before him and walked out of the locker room to see you, in rin’s jacket.

again, everyone went 🙀. you were bombarded with questions about your relationship, and by the time rin finished with his shower, you were already well acquainted with the blue lock boys.

rin was not happy about this at all. how dare they, his rivals, talk to you. he definitely dragged you away and kept you for himself, if his teammates and you exchanged numbers, he’d immediately block them and delete them off your phone.

he wouldn’t show his obsessive tendencies until you’ve been in a relationship with him for longer, the only reason he hadn’t kept you exclusively by his side so far was because he didn’t have the power to do so. he forces you to go to all of his games, press conferences, sometimes he’ll even drag you along to his practice whether you are busy or not, in fact, you probably won’t be busy because he’s made sure that you don’t have a job with long hours or a job at all. oh? what if you’re hanging out with friends? well, that won’t do… it’s time for some guilt tripping. “oh… but I need you there, are you friends more important than me?”

You’ll be spending every hour of the day with him, because after his games, press conferences and practices, he’ll bring you out for a meal, and then you’re going back home with him.

rin is the type of person who wants their loved one to rely solely on them. he’s really subtle with it too. he’ll slowly incorporate himself into every factor of your life, he wants your life to revolve around him, just as much as his revolves around you.

If you ever do realise how possessive and frankly, psycho he is, and try to leave him... well, i did say this man is a simp, rin will be begging on his knees, tears falling out of his eyes, hugging you tightly and not letting you go. honestly, you’ll be shocked because this is the first time you’ve seen him be sooooo emotional.

and if you try to get help from law enforcement? well, i hate to break it to you, but that’s never gonna work, because blue lock, and subsequently the government spent so much money to make these insane strikers and rin is one of, if not, the best strikers in the world. it’ll be covered up and you’ll be trapped.

as soon as you’re in captivity, his affection will dial up to 110%. now, he let’s his innermost thoughts out, because you’re finally all his. <3

[jflemings]

— phases

pairing: niamh charles x canadian!reader / part 2 here

synopsis: niamh is forced to watch you change

warnings: angsty angst angst, a lil smut, reader likes both men and women

a/n: this bitch is so long oh my god, part 2 won’t be this lengthy (hopefully)

♫ what’s queued masterlist

tryin' to find a new you but I heard you got lost

tryin' to figure your worth

what the hell does that cost?

niamh lazily lounges on her and jessie’s couch, her feet are comfortably propped up on jessie’s lap as the two of them share a big bowl of popcorn. zećira is sitting on the recliner to the defender’s left nursing her own bowl of popcorn, not paying attention to the way niamh shifts in her seat. the englishwoman checks her phone for what seems like the thousandth time that hour, groaning softly when she realises that you, yet again, have left her on delivered.

zećira doesn’t take her eyes off the movie playing as she speaks “she’s hanging out with the city girls” she says whilst stuffing a handful of popcorn into her mouth “i saw her on filippa’s instagram story”

niamh snaps her head towards her friend and teammate “who?” she questions uselessly, not even realising she was being watched.

“y/n” jessie answers, also still occupied with the movie.

“and how do you know that?” the defender says suspiciously, narrowing her eyes at the canadian

“i don’t” jessie shrugs “i just figured that’s why you were on your phone”

zećira points at jessie to confirm that she’s right, turning her attention back to niamh who’s nervously biting at her nails. the two women look at eachother with both confusion and concern before jess places a soft hand on her best friend’s shin.

“what’s up?” she asks quietly “something other than her being out and about is bothering you. what is it?”

“i’ve just heard that she’s been… i don’t know? different?”

jessie’s eyes drop slightly “she’s just sorting some stuff out, that’s all”

judging by the look niamh gives jessie, it’s clear that she’s not buying whatever her friend is trying to sell her “jess that’s bullshit. don’t sugar coat what she’s going through”

“i’m not” jessie defends, her face going hard “it’s not my business to say anything, niamh”

“she’s lost!” the defender pushes, fighting the urge to raise her voice and start a fight over something that isn’t worth it right now.

zećira sinks into her seat. jessie and niamh weren’t known to argue but she knows that you’re a sensitive topic given the fact that you’re jessie’s national teammate and niamh’s… ex almost girlfriend. she blows air out of her nose in anticipation as she watches jessie’s brows furrow and shoulders tighten, fully prepared to turn off the movie and sneak out of their house before they notice.

“she’s not lost. just because she’s trying to figure herself out doesn’t mean she’s lost, god” jessie defends forcefully before shaking out her shoulders and lowering her voice “let her figure it out. she’ll come around”

when I'm kissing ya, grippin' ya thigh

I realized you are destined and meant to be mine

jessie was half right, you had come around a week later, both figuratively and literally. you had texted her that you wanted to catch up and go out for dinner at you and niamh’s favourite shared spot which then led to the two of you making out on your couch.

you were currently straddling the chelsea defender, kissing her neck feverishly whilst your hands snaked up under her jumper and shirt. her hands grip your thighs and she throws her head back, a quiet moan passing by her lips with ease as you drag your teeth over her pulse point.

“missed you” you murmur into her neck “hasn’t been the same since i left”

niamh foolishly melts at your words, one of her hands moving to grip your breast through your bra “should just come back” she says breathlessly “team needs you”

you laugh lowly as you pull yourself off her neck completely and eye your handy work, guiding niamh’s jaw so you can get a better look “the team needs me or you need me?”

niamh wines when you undo the button of her jeans and slowly slither your hand into her underwear “is there a difference?” she questions breathlessly.

“i don’t make a habit out of having my hand down all my ex-teammates underwear so i’d say there is” you tease, brushing your fingers ever so slightly over where she wants you.

the defender is clearly done with talking. she crashes her lips into yours and leans forward, unintentionally causing your fingers to press to her clit. she moans into your mouth and shuts her eyes even tighter as you move your fingers “i need you too” you reassure her just as breathlessly.

as niamh watches you get off her lap and get on your knees in front of her preparing to take her jeans off, she decides that the two of you were made for eachother.

who am I to conflict with you living your life

just know when you call

i'm at the end of the line

no matter the situation, or the time of day, niamh knew that she would always be available to you. she knew that no matter how complicated your relationship got or how hard she fell for you, she would always answer your call.

she was always the one to let you come to her in fear that she would be interfering in your life. after speaking with jessie again, and kadiesha and ashley, she quickly realised that this really might just be a phase you’re going through at the moment. before you left chelsea you really did feel lost and like you didn’t belong. there had been nights where you were questioning your career and your place in your relationships, and everytime you had gone to niamh for some advice.

niamh remembers the night you decided that kingsmeadow was no longer home very clearly. you two were just sitting in bed when you’d abruptly said that you’d spoken to your agent about transferring and that arsenal, west ham and manchester city all wanted you.

she had been shocked but supported you regardless, reassuring you over and over that nothing was going to change for the two of you. in the beginning in truely hadn’t but the more settled you got with your new club, the further niamh felt you were going.

despite this, she would still stay on the phone with you when you’d call her at odd hours almost in tears because you were scared you’d made the wrong choice, scared that maybe you should’ve just stuck it out at chelsea. niamh would always interrupt you and tell you that you did what was best for you and your career, tell you that you had done all the growing you could with the blues.

that unwavering loyalty has lead niamh here, sitting up in bed at two in the morning blinking sleep out of her eyes and staring blankly at her phone. she knows that you’d only call her at this hour if you really needed her so she sighs and answers the phone.

“niahmy” you say quietly, your voice cracking in the middle of saying her name “i need some help”

she furrows her brows as worry begins to settle in her chest “anything”

hitting all the right cues

and you leaving your mark

but i know that ain't you

you're just playing your part, baby

since moving to manchester city niamh couldn’t help but notice how you’d changed on the pitch as well as off it.

people had speculated that you’d been brought in to replace hayley raso on the wing, having built a reputation surrounding your speed and the way you could get on the end of any pass and get the ball in the back of the net. you were also infamous for the non-aggressive way you played.

now though, you were getting yellow cards for shoving, shirt pulling, late tackles, the lot. despite this, you were still scoring goals and gliding past defenders with ease, leaving people to assume that your sudden aggression came from the way city was training.

niamh knew better though. the way you train doesn’t drastically change the way you play that quickly, especially since you were never one to play dirty. as she watches you argue with the ref over a yellow card and late tackle she can’t help but sigh and furrow her brows in disappointment.

it’s so clear to her that all you’re doing is putting on an act and filling a role you feel like you have to play. she rolls her head on her neck and crosses her arms over her chest, just hoping that you’ll end the little show you’re putting on soon.

jessie drops back and cokes up beside niamh briefly “i don’t know what she’s doing” she says quietly “she’s arguing a yellow that she deserves”

niamh sighs and uncrosses her arms, choosing to place them on her hips instead “does anyone know what she’s doing?” the defender says bitterly “if she wanted to hold up the match she’s got her wish”

“did you two get the chance to talk after dinner last week?”

niamh’s face burns “not really” she answers quietly, hoping that jess will just drop it.

jessie raises her brows and smirks “right. i still think you should, she really values your opinion you know”

“…yeah, right”

I'll practice my patience

while you're getting wasted

you’re bordering on drunk when niamh and alessia walk into the bar. the drink you’re nursing spills over the rim as you dance with mary, your eyes never leaving her face as you laugh and sway your hips.

niamh walks straight up to the bar before even going to find lauren to wish her a happy birthday, ordering her usual and finding a table to sit at by herself for a moment. to anyone else she probably looks like a miserable bitch the way she’s not celebrating her national teammate’s birthday but she knows that she can’t face you sober.

the defender sips her drink and scans her eyes over all the partygoers. she spots lessi chatting away with a group of girls and hums, grateful for the fact that she doesn’t seem to be pissed about being ditched almost as soon as the pair walked in.

niamh’s alone time is interrupted by a thick australian accent “you’re a very patient person, y’know that?”

the englishwoman looks up to see alanna kennedy standing at the edge of her seat. she’s got a party hat perched on the top of her head that reads ‘BIRTHDAY GIRL’ in bold pink lettering and the streamer pompon that sits on top of the cardboard looks like it’s been rugged at more then once. niamh smirks at the sight of the australian defender adjusting her hat before taking a long sip of what niamh can only assume is a rum and coke.

“what do you mean?” niamh questions almost stupidly

alanna sits uninvited and places her glass on a coaster “i love y/n, really i do, she’s great, but you have the patience of a saint”

it’s clear that the aussie is drunk, judging by her slightly slurred words and lax attitude, but niamh has a feeling that she means everything she’s saying. alanna waves her hand about and purses her lips “but you’ve gotta cut yourself some slack here charles, make a move!”

niamh rolls her eyes “i’ve made plenty of moves” she assures confidently, throwing her arm over the back of the booth seat she’s currently sitting in.

“not those kind of moves” alanna protests with a fake gag “have you told her you love her?”

niamh choked on her drink, spluttering and wiping her mouth whilst the city player opposite her just looks on with an amused twinkle in her eye. the question suddenly brings niamh back to earth. she’s sitting here having a personal conversation with a teammate of a teammate and she still has no idea what even lead to alanna sitting down with her in the first place.

the brit shakes her head just as alanna finishes off her rum and coke and slaps the table, standing abruptly whilst shaking her glass “until you tell her that, you haven’t made any moves”

you fucked with him but we both realize that he was bogus

I'm the one for you so why do I feel like I go unnoticed

I'm talking more than clothes hitting floors

we're falling off track but not the rack like a chore

the new guy you’re seeing is a twat and niamh would tell you as such if you didn’t have her in such a compromising position.

jessie, thanks to a fucking miracle, is out for the day and won’t be home until late in the afternoon, leaving you and niamh to be as loud as you want in an empty house. you’ve got her pushed up against the back of her bedroom door in just her bra and pyjama shorts, the latter of which you’re eager to take off, as you guide her hand into your own pants.

she gives you want you want slowly, ghosting her fingers over you whilst smirking, loving the sight of you squirming and almost begging for more. now that she’s got the upper hand, niamh pushes herself off the door and walks the both of you back to her bed, pulling her hand out of your underwear as she pushes you down onto the bed. you don’t have time to whine at the loss of contact because as soon as you’re in a comfortable enough position, you’re being stripped of your shorts and underwear, niamh’s fingers going back to their rightful place.

she runs a single finger over your folds, ghosting over your clit and back again in a repeated motion before using your own slick as lube and pushing herself into you.

you gasp at the intrusion “niamhy” you whine frustratedly.

“hmmm” she hums nonchalantly “you got something to say?”

“move. i need you to move”

she kisses her teeth and slowly pushes another finger in, absolutely loving the way your face contorts with pleasure “i didn’t hear a please in that sentence”

her dominant tone of voice has you uselessly bucking your hips in an attempt to create more friction “please move, niamhy, please” you beg whilst throwing your head back.

she slowly begins to pump her fingers, scissoring them every so often to ensure that she’s stretching you out enough “what would he say, hmm? what would he say if he knew i had you like this” she taunts, the cockiness overtaking her the more you beg.

the defender angles her hand awkwardly to thumb at your clit, her pace still not as fast as you would like. when you still don’t answer her she asks you again “what would he say y/n”

“h-he would say he knew” you gasp “he would say he knew all along”

“and why would he say that?” niamh taunts, now curious as to what your answer is going to be. at first she was just saying it to make herself feel like you had finally chosen her, like she had won.

“because– ah fuck” you groan loudly as niamh begins to tightly circle your clit “because he saw the-the hickeys!”

niamh can’t help but slyly smirk at the thought of her handiwork being on full display. butterflies erupt in her stomach at the thought of you stammering through an explanation, red faced and embarrassed that you had been caught and that he had figured out who was responsible for the marks that had littered your chest.

“might have to leave a few more, just to be sure he gets the hint”

even though you ain't mine it's the fact that I'm yours

you’re laying on niamh’s bare back tracing patterns down her spine delicately “what did you mean when you said ‘just to be sure he gets the hint’?” you question quietly.

niamh stirs under you ever so slightly before shrugging her shoulders “i don’t know, heat of the moment i guess”

you nod and begin to say something when your phone begins to ring from the bedside table. you climb off niamh and reach for it, pressing decline before texting back whoever was calling. you lock your phone and place it in your lap before turning to niamh sullenly.

your hand softly lands on the small of her back and you lean down to her ear “i’ve gotta go” your murmur, kissing her neck “but i’ll call you later?”

niamh nods and turns so she’s facing you. her mousy brown hair spills over her white sheets and her cheeks are still partly flushed from her comedown “tell him i said hi” she mumbles as you pick your clothes up off her floor.

you pause and fiddle with the shirt in your hands “we aren’t exclusive or official” you say softly, turning your back to her to avoid her eyes “so i’m not cheating on him”

“i never said you were”

“right”

I promise you, baby, I'm sober

just wait 'til you give in and finally come over

I can't wait to tell you

I told ya, I told ya, I told ya

niamh doesn’t really know just how she ended up in this situation.

actually, that’s a lie, she had spam texted you practically cussing out the guy you had been seeing on and off, insisting that you two were much better together.

now she stares at your contact lighting up her phone. she knows that if she leaves it you’ll eventually give up and just decide to text her but she so badly wants to just talk to you, she just wants to hear your voice.

niamh answers the call wordlessly, leaning on the wall next to the door of the club bathroom as she waits to hear what you’ve got to say.

“niamh” you breathe

“mhm” she mumbles back to you “what’s up?”

“you can’t say those things, you’re drunk and don’t mean them”

she scoffs loudly “i’m not drunk”

“well you should be!” you exclaim angrily “you can’t just say that shit”

“why not? scared your little boyfriend will see it?” she spits back just as angry, hurt and annoyance bubbling in her throat.

you go silent “he’s not my boyfriend” you speak quietly “but yeah, we’re going really well and i’m really enjoying my time with him”

niamh shakes her head and leans back against the wall, shutting her eyes and allowing a deep frown to grace her lips. she sigh’s frustratedly “yeah you’ll enjoy your time with him until he takes too long to call you back or can’t make you cum for the fourth time in a row. then you’ll come back to me”

“fuck you niamh” you spit angrily before hanging up without warning.

jessie walks out of the stall wearing a confused expression, her eyebrows furrowed and mouth pinched as she looks at her best friend expectantly. the taller girl offers no explanation as she waves her off, rolling her eyes and pocketing her phone before leaving the bathroom.

'till fate brings you home

I'll wait through your phases, phases

niamh is sat in between jessie and erin in the cafeteria picking at her food and only half paying attention to the mindless conversation being had at the table. the two of you hadn’t spoken since your argument two weeks ago and everyone could see that it was slowly killing her.

her usually bright demeanour was dull and drowsy and her smile didn’t quite reach her eyes. a hard pat on the back breaks the defender out of her trance and she looks over to see erin’s smiling face

“she’ll come around” the scot tries to encourage “it’s not the end of the world”

niamh leans her head on one of her hands miserably “i’ve really fucked it this time”

erin shakes her head “no you haven’t, she probably just wasn’t ready to hear what you had to say. if the guy’s as much of an arse as you say he is then y/n will be back sooner than you think”

“it’s a phase for her niamhy” jessie assures confidently “her feelings for him are nothing in comparison to her feelings for you, you know that”

“the universe will sort you out, don’t you worry about that” erin exclaims with a final hard pat on the back “fate ‘n all that”

niamh smiles at her friend’s optimism, ducking her head to hide the blush that’s blossoming on her cheeks. jessie knocks their shoulders together affectionately before finishing off the last of her fruit and leaning into niamh’s personal space.

“all you’ve gotta do is wait it out. she’ll come back”

I'll wait, I'll wait through your phases, phases, oh

(girl, you know I'll wait for you)

[sucknightz]

aot men toxic traits head canons ❥

(eren,armin, jean,connie, and levi)

• Eren ~ jealousy

he can’t control it, but when it happens it drives him mad. literally just watching you talk to another guy besides him makes him mad. he’ll even consider punching that dude just for looking at you. when you finally stop talking to the mystery guy he’ll grill you for HOURS. “who is that guy?” “why the fuck is he talking to you?” “why are you talking to him back?” if he doesn’t like the answers you’re telling him he’ll get mad and ignore you till he’s calmed down.

• Armin ~ guilt tripping

if you’re out with your friends he’ll get sad and call you while you’re in the middle of playing an uno game. “i know you’re busy with your friends so we can’t hang out, i guess i’ll just be by myself. text me later, if you aren’t too busy then too.” most of the time you feel bad but, when it’s dumb stuff like that it gets you angry actually creating an argument. when you confront him about guilt tripping you he’ll go in a apology OVERLOAD. he seriously won’t stop saying sorry.

• Jean ~ never apologizing

if there’s one thing on the world he hates most, it’s apologizing. he never likes to admit he’s wrong about something so when he actually is and he has to apologize he simply won’t do it. if he does say sorry it’s in a aggressive way that doesn’t sound too sorry. “im sorry alright! i never meant to make you mad.” he’ll walk out the room slamming the door. he’ll go out for a while then come back home acting like nothings wrong cuddling you.

• Connie ~ competitive

if someone just simply compliments you for wearing a band shirt he’ll make it a competition to go overboard wearing every merch about that band next time you guys hang out. when you point that out to him he always brushes it off. “i don’t know what you’re talking about, im just a bigger fan.” it really does irritate the hell out of you but you just brush it off because you know half of the shit he says isn’t true.

• Levi ~ ignoring you

mid argument he’ll go into a different room. if you try talking to him while he’s still mad and ignoring you he’ll have a snarky response back. “leave me alone y/n.” “what the fuck do you want?” then walk into a different room that you’re not in. he doesn’t do it to be mean but he does it to clear his mind. after he’s calmed down he’ll sit next you so you guys can finally talk about what’s wrong. he always apologizes afterwards for snapping at you.

[wolf-na]

wolf keum — eye twitch (the drabble series)

TWO. wolf sees you crying

ORIGINAL FIC. drabble #1

author’s note. second drabble!!!! hope you’ll enjoy that one! you can request a drabble if you want, my inbox is open!

Life feels dull and heavy on your shoulders. You don’t know why your heart clenches in your chest but you’ve been dragging your feet and soul all day, forcing yourself out of your bed and to school.

But for what? You’ve fought the tears and painful memories until you couldn’t anymore.

You crashed on your bed and cried, ignoring the list of chores your mother left on the fridge this morning. It wasn’t like she wouldn’t find something to yell at you anyways.

Life feels dull and heavy on your shoulders. What’s the point of school, all of the stress, the homework and tests when you don’t know how tomorrow’s going to be? What’s the point of trying when you don’t know what you want or even who you are?

You’re hating yourself for having these thoughts spiraling and tormenting your mind. How did it start? And why? You wish you could answer. But it isn’t the first time and it surely won’t be the last.

It’s like you feel yourself sinking lower and lower, unable to stop the intrusive thoughts and sorrow. But what sorrow? You feel stupid for crying when you have friends, a boyfriend and overall good grades when others have to survive through unstoppable trials and tragedies.

The headache in your brain is sickening and the simple action of blinking hurts and shakes your entire skull. The tears have dried on your cheeks and the tissues you used to blow your nose are abandoned in your trash can when your heart stops at the sight of Wolf knocking on your window.

You mentally curse yourself, of course Wolf would show up at your place. You quite literally ignored his texts all day, not feeling like lying to him when he asked how you were.

Except now he is right outside your window and his gaze is locked on you.

Wolf immediately notices the way you avoid his eyes, instead looking down when you step back, expecting the purple haired boy to get inside, "Hi."

Wolf stays silent, waiting for you to look up, and you know you’re screwed. You can’t even think of anything when he finally speaks, "What’s going on?"

You shrug, spinning on your heels to try and look at your reflection through the mirror hanging on your door. Maybe your eyes are fine and he won’t notice a thing.

You sigh when you feel Wolf’s hand wrapping around your wrist and forcing you to turn around. His other hand is quick to softly land on your cheek, your eyes inevitably connecting with his.

Wolf’s eyes twitch as he sees what you were trying to hide from him. Puffy, reddened eyes and salty tears melted into the skin of your face.

He can’t stop the clenching of his heart and the boiling of his blood, pulsing through his veins. "Who did this to you?"

You open your eyes wide, "N—No, Wolf. Nothing happened to me."

Wolf frowns, unsure. He knows when you lie to him. But, right now, he doesn’t. Scenarios run wild in his head as he tries to come up with a reason for your tears and glossy eyes.

Did something happen to you at school? Seems unlikely. Or you would’ve just dealt with it. After all, the students praise and fear you just as much as they do with him.

Did something happen with the Union? No, it can’t be. Donald still wants to recruit you, subtly asking Wolf to share some of his tasks with you to slowly convince you to join. And you always turn him down.

Did you fight with your parents again? It seems like the most plausible scenario since he doesn’t spot any fight injuries on your skin. But what could’ve your parents said to make you cry?

Gently, you put his hands away, taking a few steps back until you’re sitting on your bed, "I just… it’s stupid, really."

Your words are not enough and Wolf finally climbs your window, kicking off his shoes and kneeling in front of you as he drops his bag next to him on the floor.

"I just… I freaked out over life and… stuff," you explain shyly, sometimes sneaking glances at your boyfriend only to look away every time.

You’ve always felt so small under his eyes, especially whenever you spoke. There is just something in his eyes, a depth you’ve never seen before. Maybe it is because you’re not used to having someone listening to you so carefully before.

"I guess I just felt… anxious all day," you continue, "I just needed to cry it out."

You gulp when you notice how Wolf’s eyes are still locked on yours, feeling his burning gaze traveling on your face for any sign betraying a lie or a deeper meaning behind your tears.

Why did you even worry in the first place when Wolf is right there, ready to throw away anything just to make sure you’re okay? You can’t even count all the times he dived into fights only because someone threw you a dirty look. And he did way before you both started dating.

One of your fingers fix his glasses up his nose as your other hand plays with the strands of hair falling over his forehead. A tiny smile stretches your lips, "I’m okay, Wolf. I promise."

He releases a long breath, closing his eyes and leaning against your hand for a few seconds before he stands up and leans forward, capturing your lips in a kiss.

You melt against his touch, the way he knows how to kiss you is addictive. Sometimes, it’s rough, needy and passionate. Sometimes, it’s chaste, innocent, almost as if Wolf doesn’t believe himself that he is allowed to kiss you.

This time, it’s intimate, a perfect mix of passion and gentleness. You can feel it in the way his hands are framing your face, thumbs slowly caressing the spots of your cheeks that were once covered in tears. And his lips move slowly against yours but he tastes you like he was starved for days, barely breathing until he connects your lips again.

When you break the kiss, you can see his flushed cheeks and a slight fog covering his glasses. You let out a tiny chuckle and tug him into the bed, patiently waiting for him to sit against the headboard before you wrap your arms around him.

Wolf doesn’t wait before doing the same, securing his own arms around your waist, "You could’ve just said you wanted a kiss, there was no need to cry about it, princess."

You roll your eyes, smacking a hand on his chest, only causing him to chuckle in response.

You spend the rest of the evening cuddled up together, watching a random show on your laptop but you don’t really remember what it’s about as you find Wolf’s lips more interesting.

[kooktrash]

How would “love lies” jk would react if one of yn's old boyfriend suddenly come into picture and wants her back? 🍄

oooo ok so this was more scary jk, like imagine him being all intimidating and ready to throw hands for you whenever he feels the need to. like he would not take you being disrespected well, assss we already know. also I’m writing these so fast bc I literally have nothing better to do 🥹

omg I bet y/n isn’t used to someone sticking up for her

love lies | jeon jungkook

REQUESTS OPEN

warnings: none, just jk being scary. 1k words

“Jungkook, are you listening?”

“No,” he was at least honest, lifting his drink to his lips, chugging its content before crushing the plastic cup in a fist. “You see that guy over there?” He asked Jimin and Hoseok who had joined him for a night of drinking. Of course he would’ve preferred if you came with but you rejected him since you had to work late tonight. You told him to go out with his friends so they wouldn’t think you’re keeping him from them but he would have rather waited for you. How weird right? A guy more interested in hanging out with his girlfriend than the guys.

“That one?” Hobi asked, pointing to a guy in a navy blue t-shirt, “What about him?”

“He’s Y/n’s ex. He’s been sending Y/n all these texts trying to get her to go out with him again,” Jungkook said, eyes trained on the man hanging out with another guy. Jimin’s brows furrowed, “Him? That guy’s got nothing on you.”

“Doesn’t matter, he doesn’t leave Y/n alone, that’s the problem.”

“So what are you gonna do?” Hoseok asked him to watch Jungkook keep his gaze on the guy. He took a couple steps forward, “Gonna go have a talk with him. I’ll be back.”

The guy seemed to be leaving and that’s when Jungkook acted. The two stared at each other as Jungkook walked away, and it took a mere second for them to go after him so he didn’t do anything stupid alone.

Jungkook placed his hand on the guy’s shoulder, clearly catching him off guard and making him turn to face him. He had followed them outside, watching them head toward the alley leading to the back parking lot. He flashed a tight, charming smile, “Hey man.”

“Um, do I know you?” The guy asked, shaking Jungkook’s grip off before looking at his friend in equal confusion. Jimin and Hoseok now stood behind Jungkook looking all the intimidating as he did. The guy was getting bad vibes as Jungkook said, “No but I think you should.”

The guy scoffed defensively, “Listen man, I don’t know who you think you are but I’m trying to get out of here. So if you don’t mind backing the fuck off that’d be great.”

Jungkook smiled in amusement, “But you know my girlfriend.”

“Huh?” The guy asked.

“Y/n, my girlfriend that you keep desperately trying to talk to?”

“So? Give it another two weeks and Y/n will be in my bed—“ the guy groaned as Jungkook’s hand tugged on the collar of his t-shirt, twisting it in his grip and tightening it until it constrained his neck. The guy’s friend took a step forward but stopped when Hoseok moved in front of him.

“Tell him to back off,” The guy said to Jimin who was the only one who looked to be standing down. Jimin just smiled, “I don’t know man, you’re being awfully disrespectful right now.”

“Y/n asked you to stop texting her,” Jungkook said, twisting the shirt even more, thankful for the dark alley that kept the confrontation concealed. “And you didn’t. Do you know what that means?”

The guy gripped at Jungkook’s tatted hand trying to get him to let go but he didn’t want to use force. Jungkook looked stronger than he did, and the look in his eyes was intimidating.

“What does it mean, Kook?” Hobi asked with a grin knowing that the guys were both looking a bit scared now. The guy didn’t ask and Hobi wanted to play the instigator for an interesting night. Jungkook looked the guy dead in the eye, “It means that I have to step in and get it through this guy’s head that Y/n doesn’t want him, and Y/n won’t ever leave me for him.”

“Ooo, and how do you plan on doing that?” Jimin asked joining in on the fun as he stood in front of the other guy next to Hoseok, a clear line that read ‘Try to step in and you’re ours.’

“That depends, I wanted to do it the easy way,” Jungkook said with feigned contemplation, “But you see, now you’ve disrespected me and Y/n thinking she’ll leave me in two weeks. And I don’t take things lightly when it comes to Y/n.”

“Look, I don’t want any trouble, I didn’t even know—“

“Oh I think you do know, it’s not like I’m all over her socials, right?” Jungkook chuckled, pushing the guy against the wall, “So tell me now, are you going to keep bothering Y/n or do I really have to put my hands on you for you to get it?”

“Men, is everything alright over here?”

Everyone but Jungkook looked down the alley at the two police officers patrolling the downtown nightlife. He kept his eyes trained on the guy as he spoke, “Everything’s great, officer.”

He released the guy’s shirt, smoothing his hand over the creases he caused as he patted the guys chest, “Everything's understood, right?”

“Sir?” The officer asked him but he only watched Jungkook as the three of them backed away. “Everything’s good.”

Jungkook gave a smile, turning to his friends, “Let’s go, I’m ready to go home.”

The three of them left the alley, Jungkook locked eyes with one of the officers who he recognized from a few charity events his father held. The man recognized him too as he said, “Be safe, Mr. Jeon.”

He smiled his charming smile, “Of course sir, I’ll let my father know you say hi.” He sent one more look to your ex, giving a wink and left.

“Do you know who that is?” The guy’s friend asked when Jungkook, Hobi, and Jimin left. He shook his head, “No?”

“That’s Jeon Jungkook, his dad’s one of the richest guys in the country. He’s close with the chief of police.”

“How do you know?” The guy asked and his friend sighed, “My dad’s a cop.”

“Kook!” You yelled when he made it to your apartment. You’d just gotten out of the shower after a long shift and you thought he’d want to go home after the club but he showed up at your door instead. He pulled you into a tight hug, “I missed you, it was no fun without you.”

“You’re so dramatic,” you laughed as he hugged you from behind following you into your bedroom. “Oh and your ex? He won’t be bothering you anymore, and if he does, let me know.”

“Why? What’d you do?”

“I just talked to him.”

:::.

taglist: @jub-jub @moonfaery @hoseoksluv89 @jeonzll @kookieaddicted96 @darkuni63 @btspurplesky @kristinalucio @asking4-sanity @guvgguk @jiminshi20 @thvhoe @notmyfaultbutours @rerefundslocals @kimyishin n @libra04 @cherrysainttt @potatocheesebites @zaedynnn @thvlover @thvlover7 idk @kooromiwrld @saweetspoiled

[catmilf4life]

⋆♱Drunk apologies. ✮

‧₊˚🖇️✩ ₊˚🎧⊹♡

matt sturniolo x fem!reader (oc, name claim)

nameclaim: Riley

no smut, arguing, yelling and cursing, drug mentioned and alcohol

!not proof read!

synopsis: Matt and you got into heated argument you storm out of his house and get drunk…

“Matt for the past month the only thing you did was sleep work on your youtube channel, and again! I tried so so much, so much to be the great girlfriend that supported your decisions! But this is too much on me! when was the last time we went somewhere just the two of us? Without you worrying about work? I don’t really remember!”

I felt your eyes get teary, I didn’t want to yell at him. But I was so fed up with him and his needs. When will be my time to take care of MY needs?!

“i don’t know.” matt muttered. His eyes were fixated on the wooden floor in his living room.

“that’s what i thought, maybe just stop being selfish and think about people who are around you who care for you.” You answered trying to prove your point.

“Me? Selfish?! How could you even say that! all i do is work for you for us. So we can go anywhere so I can buy you the jewels and clothes you wanted! How could i be selfish?! Stop talking for a second! Literally i don’t want to hear your stupid voice. I got a lot on my plate without your stupid complaints!”

Matt was now standing right infront of me looking down at me. He was raging mad. My vision got blurry from the tears in my eyes. I sniffled as i tried to look for a clue in his face.

“fine. you can go and do your work, you won’t hear from me.” After that I took your hoodie and left his house.

I started walking towards my apartment. Matt was the one who drove me here and since he doesn’t want to hear from me , I need to walk back.

I have been walking for the past 15minutes. When i hear my phone ding. I pick it out of my pocket with hopes that it’s matt.

It wasn’t. It was my friend she sent me a text inviting me to party five blocks away from here.

I thought about it for a second. Should i go? Matt would be mad. I shrugged and answered with a simple see you there.

After some time i arrived. It was a big mansion i never seen something bigger, it was beautiful. I could hear music blasting through the windows. I came close to the front porch as a smell of alcohol hit my nostrils. I slowly opens the door seeing many people dancing singing smoking weed and drinking alcohol.

I walk around trying to see my friend.

“Riley!” my friend yelled from behind me. I turned around seeing her. “hii!” i said trying to cover up the tears stains under my eyes. she was too drunk to realise perfect.

I have been at the party for some time. It’s around 2am am taking a shot. It was one of many. I wanted to drink away the thoughts of my argument with matt.

I was stumbling down their front porch. My vision was blurry, and i felt dizzy, oh so i was drunk, drunk?!

I started walking down random street hoping i would get home.

after sometime i started recognising the street i was walking on. It was matts. Matts street.

I don’t really know how i got here and why did i get here. I came to an _ and i wasn’t sure if i was supposed to go to the left or right.

my vision started to get foggy once again, as i felt tears drop from my eyes.

I pick out my phone and dial his number, hoping he would answer.

After some rings i started to give up my hopes. As i was about to hang up i see his name pop up. He answered. I immediately put the phone right next to my ear.

“hi,” i sniffled into the microphone. “Riley where are you.” matt asked me. “do i go left or right? am on your street silly.” i mumbled some of the words partly because i was drunk and partly because i was crying my heart out. I missed matt more than anything.

“stay where you are don’t move, i’ll be right there i promise.” he said reassuringly. “okay.” i whispered lowly as i sat on the sidewalk waiting for him.

It was cold and my body started to shiver. I waited for a few minutes just crying and mumbling some stuff under my nose.

“there you are.” I hear similar voice come from one of sides. i stand up and ran to him slowly.

I embrace him o a hug immediately covering his shirt with my tears.

“am sorry, so so sorry i shouldn’t have said that you were selfish, i just missed you.” I slurred.

“that’s fine darling, and i should have said that your complaints were stupid. They never were and never will be am sorry, if anything like this ever happens i wanna know how you feel okay?” he smiled down at me.

“okay.”

༉‧₊˚🕯️🖤❀༉‧₊˚.

sorry short stuff And not the besstt

but it was really fun to write it. Anyways i didn’t have a proper introduction!

Hi! Am lily or catmilf

am new to tumblr! and i write small imagines and stuff like that. Am not really big fan of smut so you won’t be really seeing that here but if a request catches my eye am open to anything!

also i really hate writing stuff with y/n so i use name claim it will be probs a random name. (maybe new oc?)

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁

[lukewarmsoapytoast]

UGH the URGE to just spam this acc with angst writing is INSANE. Sadly, I haven’t written a full-length read in a while, I’ve had college classes in the mornings and I get busy in the afternoons. So, my point is, HERE’S SOME QUOTES I CAME UP WITH OR WANT TO USE‼️‼️

Please only reuse w/ credit!

Most of these taken from irl because it was funny 😭

LET ME KNOW YOUR OPINIONS AND WHAT YOU WANT TO SEE WHAT QUOTES AND SUCH IN!!!

Quotes

•

"Of course you do, and you’re going to regret those bad decisions in the morning when you’re sober."

“What morning?”

•

“You ignore my requests like they’re food allergies at a foreign restaurant and you wonder why I wanna hang out with girls more.”

•

“I wish I could love you, too.”

•

“It’s because I’m in love with you.”

“Because you wha—oh my god, it all makes sense now.”

•

"Alright, alright, I’ll tell you. But you can't laugh, okay? Promise me you’ll listen without judgment."

“I mean unless you say that you managed to kill a god, I won’t laugh.”

“Gee, thanks for the vote of confidence.”

•

“My love…You— You know there isn’t any recovering from this, the medics won’t arrive in time, I-I’ll die. I deserve to be made fun of for being that stupid, but I don’t regret my choice…saving you was my goal overall in life, my purpose, and I succeeded..I can die happy, but you need to let me go, first.”

•

“And how am I supposed to believe you, huh? You wanna bring that fucking whore in to confirm that you still love me? That you regret fucking her over and over, and over, repeatedly, on our own damn bed??”

“[First Name], I—”

“It’s [Last Name] now, that’s what you’ll be referring to me as. No more pet names, no more first name. Goodbye, find somebody else to manipulate.”

•

“Dude, you literally shot me.”

“I was beat as a child, do you hate me, do you want me dead, I know you do, I understand—”

•

“I have a penis and it isn’t mine. ☺️”

“Uhh, what?”

“You heard me.”

“Where r u rn??”

“I’m w ur mom”

“Bruh”

“The party you told me not to go to.”

“Omw.”

•

“If you could have any superpower, what would it be?”

“😈”

“Uh oh? Please tell me you haven’t written an essay about this already and I happened to send that around the time you finished it.”

“I think I'd have the ability to persuade people. It's nothing special but imagine how much success you could end up having and also how many people you could befriend. I like having friends. ALSO you can stop any wars with just a "Stop pretty pls 🥺👉👈" like it's the best superpower. You could save the world with it basically, screw pollution”

“Dear god, keep going. I’m interested.”

“People who wanna fly are confusing, like, go skydiving or something like that, pull a hiccup from HTTYD. And why obtain invisibility when you can just tell people you aren’t there?”

“Wait, you’ve got a point.”

“Somebody asking why we’re stalking them? Hit them with the ‘NUH UH! I’M NOT EVEN HERE, BABY! I’M A HALLUCINATION!’. That’ll win.”

“Oh my god you’re onto something.”

“Someone trying to end the world? Nope. ‘Pretty pls be a good person 🥺’ them.”

“How long have you been thinking about this?”

“Since you asked.”

“YOU THOUGHT THAT UP THAT QUICKLY???”

•

"What if he thinks I'm being dense?"

"Then he'll stop liking you. Problem solved."

Ideas

•

When they're constantly assuring as they lay dying, "I'm fine, I'll be okay, don't worry about me, l'll live." But their final words, whispered, barely audible,

"I don't want to die."

•

“I’ll be there for you”, “I’m sorry”, “I love you”, over and over again. “don’t hurt yourself”, “We need a break”, “I need you”, All of this, but you never mean it. Never. Not when I need you, your mistakes are a record on loop, your love is as present as my father. You don’t care if I hurt myself, especially because you hurt me. Can this break last forever? You need me to do as you say, you don’t need me there.

•

If HS!Gojo had a crush he’d confess like this:

(Texting)

“Let’s go on a date, do you like sex? Lol. <3”

•

Chr picks up a completely dry and closed jar of salsa.

“Salsaaaa…”

Something drips on their toe.

“Is…Is it wet?”

Frantically checking the jar for water droplets or cracks. Nothing.

“Excuse me???”

Confused.

“WHY???”

Concerned.

•

Father telling small adopted demon child to stay behind while they search for a plushie.

"Perhaps you should stay here, honey. This is no place for a child anyways. I'm sure we don't want you getting kidnapped by some kind of murderer, do we?"

"👹" Foaming at the mouth.

"Dear god, what have I done?"

•

Two characters arguing in a group chat over who’s hotter and it turns into an argument over who would be a better boyfriend to you. This is how you make your grand entrance.

“What did I just stumble upon at this very unfortunate hour. I wish to die.”

[moody4world]

Real rider

A/N(?): i am !!NOT!! a writer, everything i write and post is simply for fun and not to be taken seriously

equestrian y/n teaching jack the basics of horse riding for churchill downs mv

this is fluff

Jack had just dropped his brand new album called home the kids miss you. He had already recorded a music video for first class but he was mostly excited to film his music video for churchill downs with THE drake himself.

He had proposed his idea of what he’d want to include in the music video to his directors and one of those scenes included jack riding a horse. Only problem with that was that Jack had never ridden a horse in his life. But he was dead set on having this in his music video.

“Come on Neelam there’s gotta be someone you know that can teach me, I mean how hard can it be right?” “Oh you’d be surprised, I do know someone and it’s definitely not as easy as you think Jack, you want to learn how to ride a horse at a high speed in the span of a few days when you’ve never even sat on a horse before, be for real.”

Jack stared at Neelam looking very offended but he knew she had a point. A really good one at that. But the last thing he was going to do is give up. “Okay okay that’s true but if they’re such a professional i can at least learn the basics right? I just really want this to look cool as fuck.”

“Fine i’ll give her a call later and see what I can do for you.”

“This is exactly why I never fired you.”

“Jack what the hell?”

“I’m kidding i’m kidding…wait did you say she?”

“Uh…yeah is that a problem?”

“No of course not I just thought it’d be a guy”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“I’ve just never seen you hang out with a horse girl before.”

“Oh god please don’t call her that or she’ll flip her shit. She hates it when people call her that.”

“Gee thanks for the heads up.”

Later that day you were watching a random movie that was recommended to you by a friend on netflix when your phone started ringing. You picked it up to see it was Neelam and you accepted the call. “Hey Neelam what’s up?” You said while stuffing your face with popcorn. “Hi y/n! just work and more work, you know how it is.” “Yeah that’s literally all you do, why’d you call though? is everything okay?”

“Yeah yeah everything is great..but”

“Uh oh what is it?”

“It’s nothing bad but I just need you to do me this one favor for the next two weeks and I promise i’ll pay you and everything just please help me out or this boy won’t leave me alone.” Neelam rambled

“You had me at the word pay but what do I have to do for the next two weeks? thats a lot of days.”

“Can you teach Jack how to ride a horse for his music video?”

You paused your movie at the mention of Jack’s name and put your bowl of popcorn on the coffee table in front of you.

“Uhm yeah..yeah sure that’s fine I can do that. When do we start?”

“Are you available this friday?”

“Yeah that’s perfect, i’m sure you remember where the ranch is so i’ll see you then.”

“Thank you so so much y/n i’ll text you a time and more details later okay?”

“Okay byee”

You let out a heavy sigh after you both hung up. “I haven’t seen Jack in person in years…will he even recognize me? okay he probably will you haven’t changed THAT much y/n come on. Yeah that’s true…ugh i really hope he’s nicer now cause that dumpling joke was so annoying….it was kinda cute tho. Girl snap out of it. I’m literally having a whole dialogue with myself about this and I haven’t even started teaching him yet jesus christ.”

Everyone talks to themselves….I just happen to do it a lot more than usual and there’s nothing wrong with that. I knew Jack since middle school, we always had the same classes and he would sit near my lunch table and our friends usually hung out together. He never bullied me or anything like that cause i’d refuse to let a young jb look alike who raps to bully me. He just always pointed out things that made me feel slightly embarrassed. Like that one time he called my kermit and mrs. piggy socks cute which made his friends laugh about it. He apologized afterwards and said he really meant it but I mean who knows.

Friday comes around and I made sure I got to the ranch early to set everything up. I got the horses ready and even had enough time left to have a quick snack. A few minutes after I was done, I saw Neelam walking in with Jack. I walked over, meeting them half way. Neelam gives me a tight hug swaying us side to side as we always did when we see each other. “y/n!!!! hiiii” “It’s been way too long Nee” “I knooow this guy keeps me way too busy.” She says pointing towards Jack who’s standing there all awkward with his hands behind his back. He puts his hand forward and I do the same shaking his hand “Jack” “y/n” there’s an awkward silence between the three of us until Neelam clears her throat and breaks the silence “Oh..kay uh i’m gonna go and leave you two to it then. y/n good luck with this one.” “I think i’m gonna need it so thanks” “I’m standing right here…you guys realize that right?”Neelam laughs and walks towards the exit of the ranch. Once Neelam was out of earshot Jack turns to me and goes. “Long time no see y/n l/n” ugh here he goes with the last name. For some reason he could never just say my first name like everyone else. “Yeah long time no see…clearly not much has changed.” “I don’t see why that’s a bad thing dumpling.”

There it is..that old nickname. I didn’t want to have feelings for this guy but the butterflies were unavoidable at this point. He’s taller now, he has a nice beard, his hair is curlier, his voice is also deeper but his cute goofy smile is still the same and clearly the nicknames too. “I was hoping you’d forget about that name.” I said awkwardly. “I did until I saw your chubby cheeks again.” “Stop pointing it out” I said defensively but in a joking way, he laughs and puts his hands up in defense “I’ll stop…no promises.”

“Okay enough talking let’s get started or we’ll never get you to ride a horse in time for your music video.” “Okay let’s go”

Getting Jack to even get on a horse was harder than you expected.

“Pay attention to what I do so you can do it after me.” I get on the horse making sure to do it at a pace that he can follow and once i’m seated i turn to him and tell him to do what I did. Since he’s tall you would think its much easier but nope. This guy took like 5 minutes to even get on the horse, to be fair I didn’t pick our nicest horse for him either but he got on eventually. I got a good laugh out of seeing him struggle with something that was so easy to me though, no regrets so far.

After we did a little bit of trotting we took the horses for short walk before calling it a day. “So..how do you know Neelam?” he asked me out of no where “Uh…we met through a mutual friend” “Why are you lying?” “Who says i’m lying?” I was definitely lying, but how did he know that??? did Neelam tell him how we met?

No probably not cause he didn’t even know I was his instructor. “You did that awkward smile you used to do when you lie….so how did you guys really meet?”How does he even remember that?! i’m feeling those stupid butterflies again too get it together y/n. “Okay fine, I used to date her cousin a few years back and we got really close.” “Used to?” I don’t remember Jack being this nosey damn “You sure are nosey Jackman.” he shrugged.

“Not nosey just curious. I’d hate to be your ex, I know he feels stupid.” “You don’t even know what caused the break up.” “By your body language i can tell he’s the one that fucked up though.” “Yeah he did but i’ve been over it for a while now.” “Any new dudes in your life?” “No, just enjoying life as it comes these days. How about you mister rapper? new groupie every night or what?” “Who’s the nosey one now huh?” he says with a smirk. I know he did not just flip the script on me. “You asked a bunch of questions and all I asked is one and now i’m the nosey one?” “I’m just messing with you. But no i’m not like that… not anymore at least.” “Oh wow” He looked offended at my reply but can you blame me? he’s so popular now.

“What do you mean by oh wow? do I look like a manwhore to you?” I give him the look of “do you really want me to answer that?” “Okay don’t answer that” and we both started laughing. “Do you wanna do a small race to the stalls?” he looked at me as if i had grown two heads “ A race?!? are you trying to kill me? I thought we were getting along.” “You’re so dramatic it’s like 7 feet away” “Are you forgetting that you’re the real rider here and not me? I’m just an intern” “Okay prospect, no race this time. You’re such a party pooper.” “If you’re a good teacher and I get the hang of this by the end of these two weeks i’ll race you. Deal?” “Deal” We shook on it and continued our way to the stalls. Unlike getting on the horse, Jack had no issues getting off of it and he was quick to offer me his hand to help me get down.

Of course I didn’t need it but I decided to entertain him and accepted the help anyway. For whatever reason my horse, Talula felt like it was good moment to push me off and of course it had to be like one of those cliché rom coms. You know the ones where the girl falls into the guys chest and their faces are so close they’re almost breathing the same air and they look into each other’s eyes like its the prettiest thing they’ve ever seen?

Well that’s exactly what was happening between Jack and I. Until Talula decided to push me again and we both snapped out of it. His right arm was still around my waist and his other hand was still holding mine. I frantically pushed him away and stepped back brushing my clothes off from the invisible dust and possible horse fur.

“Sorry about that.” Jack apologized “No no it’s fine.” I started nervously laughing.He started walking backwards towards the exit “Tomorrow same time?” “Yeah, same time” “Alright, see you tomorrow dumpling.” He turned around now walking to the exit with his back towards me. “Stop calling me that.” “Not a chance dumpling.” He glanced at me over his shoulder with a smug grin on his face. I rolled my eyes but I couldn’t hold back my smile. After a full day of teaching Jack some of the basics and catching up a little bit I can say that he’s definitely the same goofy Jack that he was when I first met him in middle school. Maybe these next two weeks won’t be so bad after all.

[boydepartment]

Pizza Parlor- Lee Felix: Chapter Four

Description: Y/n is a stressed-out college student who has no idea what she is doing with her life. She is always wrapped up in nostalgia and her friends seem to know exactly what they're doing. Feeling insecure one night she decides to go on an old website. Club Penguin. Little does she know; she would encounter a certain penguin who was also having a rough night.

Stray Kids are idols, TXT is not.

Partial smau, mainly written.

Warnings for chapter 4: cursing, house egging, kinda scary reaction image??

WC- 2.1k back next

  masterlist  

                                                                                            ```

Song for Chapter 4: Not A Love Song – Austin Moon

Chapter 4: Late Night Talks.

                “OH MY GOD STOP YOU KNOW FOR A FACT THAT MORDECAI BELONGS WITH MARGARET NOT CJ.” You sat back in your chair and started laughing, currently you were in a heated debate on whether Mordecai should’ve ended up with Margaret or CJ in Regular Show.

                “CJ WAS SO NICE! AND SHE TOTALLY REMINDS ME OF YOU SO.” Felix said back, getting WAY too close to his surprisingly good quality mic.

                You gathered yourself from laughing, “MORDECAI DIDN’T DESERVE HER THOUGH, IT DOESN’T MATTER IF SHES BETTER.”

                “Okay what did MORDECAI DO?!”

                You almost fell back laughing, “FELIX, LITERALLY WHAT DIDN’T MORDECAI DO?!”

                Felix let out a small chuckle and thought for a moment, “okay you have a point…”

While talking more about the childhood show you got a text from Yeonjun, you were surprised he was still up, it was pushing 5am.

After he stopped replying you gave your attention back to Felix, “sorry about that my roommate texted me about our friends debit card.”

                “Is everything okay?” Felix asked.

                You let out a small laugh, “yeah he just texted me telling me our friend literally left his card in his own backpack.”

                “Tell me about your roommates.” He sounded so interested, it made your heart leap.

                “WELL! Yeonjun is a friend from highschool, he is really nice, kinda a weirdo sometimes though, then there’s Kai, he’s a real sweety, me and Yeonjun met him our sophomore year, and then Taeyhun we kinda just picked up off the street.” You let out a small laugh, “Beomgyu and Soobin are in our little group too, but they live on campus.”

                Felix let out a hum of acknowledgement, “wait a sec, you live with really smelly guys?”

Oh man, this was a big reason, aside from your awkwardness, that led you to getting no bitches. When they found out you lived with 3 guys they would run for the hills. So, that’s why you stopped even trying, it was less stressful that way too.

                “Yeah… you don’t think that’s weird, do you?” You were really nervous of his response; you weren’t trying to PERSUE Felix. However, the crazy thought had crossed your mind multiple times.

                “NO NOT AT ALL!” You heard him bump into his mic a bit, “you’ve known them since highschool, I don’t think that’s weird at all!!!” He was very quick to reassure you.

                “I am really relieved; a lot of people go running to the hills when they find out I hang out with all those weirdos.” Taking a sip of water, you went to open the steam icon, you and Felix got way off track from playing video games tonight.

                “I won’t, pinky promise, I was friends with a lot of girls in highschool if I’m being honest.” He spoke so smoothy, it still takes you off guard when you really think about it.

                “Are you not now?” You joked, not expecting this conversation to take a serious turn.

                “Not really, I mean I have colleagues but it’s hard with my job.” After Felix answered you felt immensely confused.

                “What is that supposed to mean? Are you like a male stripper or something?”

                Felix let out a loud laugh, “nonono! Although sometimes it does feel like it…”

                You joined him in laughter, still confused as ever but it was okay. Laughing with Felix always made your heart race over text or now on call. You couldn’t help thinking though if he had some weird Magic Mike job or something. Honestly with as much charisma he has you wouldn’t be surprised if he did work in a field like that. There was nothing wrong with that either.

                “Did you have a favorite game growing up other than club penguin?” He broke you out of your thoughts.

                “I played a lot of Toon Town and stuff, I was mainly a Nintendo kid too.” You smiled, remembering all the fun times you had when you were a kid. It was also as like Felix emitted the same warm feeling.

                He let out a loud noise of agreence, “I AM STILL A NINTENDO KID!! When my friends and I get breaks from working whether it be at a venue or hotel we always bring a switch! I remember this one time during one of our breaks my friend totally lost his shit… It was so funny.”

HE HAS TO DO SOME SORT OF PREFORMING! HE MENTIONED A VENUE… Hmm this was truly some puzzle that YOU wanted to crack.

                “That sounds really nice, my friends and I haven’t done that since highschool. It has mainly been movie nights and cooking dinner together.” You answered.

                “Hm! We do that too! I bake a lot.” This thought made you smile, he BAKES!

                Part of you felt that it was so easy connecting with him, “my grandma and I used to bake!”

                “Oh really? Do you have a favorite recipe?”

                You thought for a minute before answering, “definitely her cheesecake.”

                “Don’t let my stupid friend who likes Moshi Monsters hear you say that, I think he’d start begging you for a copy.” Even though you two were far away from each other it really felt like you could’ve been next to one another.

                “I wouldn’t give it to him anyways, he likes Moshi Monsters.” You joked, “oh! You mentioned you liked baking too! What is your favorite?”

                He clicked his tongue before answering, “probably brownies, the last time I baked cookies it was a disaster. And it was in front of a TON of people.”

                “I am so jealous I love brownies.” The thought of them made your stomach growl.

                Felix accidentally hit his mic again before speaking, “not to BRAG or anything but I am known as the brownie boy amongst my friends.”

                “Wooooow!” You teased him.

                “Oh shit! Whats your steam username?” Felix asked, now also being reminded of the goal.

                “Oh its-“ You were about to answer when you heard something at your front door, “um hold on a sec… I’ll be right back.”

You heard Felix say something as you got up from your laptop. Who on earth would be at your door this early in the morning? Hell, you shouldn’t even be awake after not sleeping all night. You walked to the door and checked the peephole, you saw three people standing outside dressed in dark colors. Okay what the fuck??

The next thing you knew one of them was digging through their bag and throwing it at your door! WHY WAS YOUR APARTMENT BEING EGGED!?

You quickly grabbed the bat by the door and slammed open the door, all three figures yelped and started running. Looking down you noticed one of them dropped something out of their backpack. You walked over and leaned forward to pick it up.

                “Samantha Heeler.” You read the name ID outloud.

This was Beomgyu’s girlfriend’s friend. Those fucking- there goes not wanting a strained relationship anymore. You huffed and went back inside, locking the door behind you. You slammed the ID on the island and immediately ran to your room. You grabbed your phone which laid on your desk. You quickly dialed Yeonjun until he finally picked up.

                “Y/n what is going on!?” He sounded somewhat annoyed but also tired.

                “TELL BEOMGYU HIS STUPID GIRLFRIEND AND HER FRIENDS EGGED OUR APARTMENT. I WOULDN’T HAVE KNOWN IF ONE OF THEM DIDN’T DROP HER FUCKING ID CARD WHILE THROWING AN EGG.” You were furious at this point, you walked out, completely forgetting Felix was on the call on your laptop.

                “Wait what!?” At this point he was fully awake. You hit the facetime button and he quickly accepted it; he looked like probably has a hangover. You showed him the ID and your egg covered door as well. He looked absolutely furious.

                “Fuck. Okay I will send like Kai or Taehyun back. I need to talk to Soobin and Gyu.” He hung up and you were left to clean up your door. Beforehand you took photos of the mess and the school ID. You squatted down and tried to clean up the eggshells, you were now tired, it being 6am now. Getting lost in your thoughts you were totally taken aback when something was thrown at your head. You touched your hair and felt the gooey substance, when you turned you saw the three girls again. They were laughing at the fact they just hit their main target. You were so close to losing your shit, but you already knew you had somewhat of the upper hand here. Yeonjun knew what happened, you had photos, it was fine. You simply just finished cleaning and went back inside. You mumbled when you walked into your room and slammed the door behind you.

                “Y/n?” You heard from your headphones. OH MY GOD YOU FORGOT FELIX WAS ON THE PHONE. You quickly rushed over to your desk and put your headphones on that now were covered in egg. Good going y/n.

                “Felix I am so sorry I totally forgot you were on the call you could have just hung up I wouldn’t have gotten offended or anything.” You were rambling.

                He let out a yawn, “it’s okay I promise, I wanted to make sure everything was okay. You’re home alone, right?”

You wanted to make a joke about him sounding creepy but held back, “yeah I am now…”

                “Gosh what is wrong with the area you’re living in?” Felix let out a soft laugh.

                “College town I guess…” You mumbled, letting out a yawn, “and my friend’s girlfriend hates me. I have to get egg out of my hair then sleep, I accidentally pulled an all-nighter cause of you again.”

                “WHAT Y/N DON’T DO THAT BECAUSE OF ME! THAT ISNT HEALTHY!” Felix got close to his mic AGAIN, you winced at the loudness but then started laughing. You thought he was so cute.

                “I’m sorry, I’m sorry you’re just nice to talk to… Things here have been a little complicated…” Your voice trailed off around the end, getting lost in thought, partially due to sleep deprivation. Felix let out a sigh.

                “I get what you mean, with my schedule and stuff, things have been complicated for me too…” His voice trailed off as well.

                “…It’s like talking to you is a breath of fresh air.” You both said at the same time.

                “OH!” You perked up now fully awake and fully aware that egg was STILL on you. Felix laughed what you presumed it to be from nerves.

                “I should get this egg out of my hair…” You let out a soft laugh now messing with it. He let out a hum of acknowledgement.

                “And please get some rest too… I should start heading to sleep too.” Shuffling.

                “Goodnight Felix.”

                “Goodnight y/n.”

---------------------------------------------------------------------- Taglist: @bloofairyfox @yellowroses-world @g4m3girl @forevrglow Taglist is always open! ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Authors note: Hiiii everyone!!! Surprise!! I posted again! I finished another two chapters today and I am in a very good mood so I figured why not lol! I hope everyone is having a good night or good day!! My ask box and dms are always open <3 Eat well today and tomorrow

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

[rubyreduji]

My Heart Has Gone To You | 05

pairing: lee jihoon x f!reader ch notes: in denial reader at the beginning, lots of reader in her feels moments, pining, lots of soul searching, mentions of domestic ynhoon w.c.: 3.2k a/n: the one that yall have been waiting for

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“Ugh,” you groan as you throw your phone down onto your bed and flop onto your back.

You and Sana are once again hanging out in your room together because Jihoon has gone right back into being a hermit, but at least he’s answering your texts this time and you were able to pull him away from the studio long enough to get lunch together yesterday.

“That's like the third time you’ve groaned today, what’s wrong?” Sana looks up from your desk where she’s painting her nails.

“The guy from the Halloween party won’t stop messaging me. He said he’s fine with not going on a date, but he’s very persistent on being my friend.”

“That Namjoon guy? He was cute! Why not go on a date with him? I thought Jihoon was okay with all of that.”

“He is, it’s me who doesn’t want to go one a date with him,” you explain.

“Oh, so you finally realized you’re in love with Jihoon, good for you,” Sana says nonchalantly. “Just tell the guy you have feelings for someone else.”

“What?”

“I’m just saying let the guy down gently and then suggest that he stop texting you.”

“No, not that.” You sat up to look at Sana fully. “What did you say about Jihoon?”

“That you’re in love with him. That is the reason you decided to turn down the tall, sexy, smart, rich, engineer major that is Namjoon, right?” Both you and Sana have confused looks on your faces but you’re confused for different reasons.

“Sana…you know Jihoon and I are just friends.”

This sends Sana into a laughing fit. “Yeah right Y/N. As much as you guys want to deny it, you guys are in love.”

You try to sputter out a response but nothing comes out. As much as Sana teases you about your relationship with your boy best friend, she’s never brought something like this up before. Sure your girl friends always point out how cute of a couple you guys would be, but none of them have her explicitly stated so boldly that you have feelings for him.

You do NOT love Lee Jihoon. Well you do, but not like that.

“Y/N,” Sana’s voice pulls you from your thoughts, “you literally treat Jihoon differently than all of your other friends.”

“That’s because he’s my best friend!” You shout. Why is that so hard for everyone to understand?

“We’re also best friends and you don’t act the same way around me. Admit it, Jihoon is so special to you because you’re in love with him. The whole friend group has been aware of it for some time.”

“I don’t act like that around you because we’re not having sex.” You roll your eyes.

“Exactly! You guys are having sex to begin with. Instead of a one night stand or a fuck buddy, you would rather get fucked by your best friend and risk having strings attached because a part of you wants those strings to be attached.” Sana has fully stopped painting her nails to face you and focus on your conversation.

“I have sex with Jihoon because it’s convienent, and I’m comfortable with him.” You shrug it off. Every point Sana is making doesn’t amount to anything.

You have never even thought you have feelings for Jihoon. He’s your best friend and that’s that. You know that you’re closer to him than the rest of your friends but that doesn’t mean anything. It just proves even more that he’s your best friend.

“You’re comfortable with all of the other guys as well, would you hook up with them?” Sana presses and you rub at your temples.

“Sana, I’m done with this conversation, drop it. I’m not in love with Jihoon, and I’m not looking for a relationship.”

With that the room falls into silence. You sit back in your bed and after a while Sana gets up and leaves. You don’t understand why she’s being like that. It’s not her business and even after you told her she was wrong she kept going on about it.

A part of you wishes you were scheduled for work today because now you’re left alone to do nothing. You don’t have any pressing projects to work on, your best friend is busy, and now your other best friend is being troublesome.

You dig through your bed to find your phone and scroll through your contacts. You have twenty other friends outside of Jihoon and Sana, you don’t have to sulk at home. Your eyes zero in on a name and you’re pulling up your messages.

You: are you busy right now?

Hao: …why?

You: can i really not just spend time with my friends?

Hao: no.

Hao: but no i’m not busy. i’ll come pick you up in 10.

Outside of your girl friends and Jihoon and his roommates, the next person you’re closest with is Minghao. If you’re being honest you might even be closer to him than some of your girls. You guys bond over your shared love of art, wine, dramas, and fashion, and you always appreciate whatever sassy comeback he has to say. Whenever he wants to get Chinese food or play a prank on one of your friends you’re always down to join.

Minghao texts you that he’s at your apartment and you’re getting up. Just as you’re about to go out the door Sana comes out of her room. You two stand there awkwardly for a moment before she speaks up.

“Are you going out?”

“With Minghao, yeah.”

“Oh. Well this is for you.” She holds you a piece of folded paper. You take it and frown down at it. “Well, have fun with Hao!” Sana’s voice is back to cheery as she goes back into her room. You’re about to open the paper but your phone is pinging again and you know it’s Minghao telling you to hurry up.

You hurry down to where the Chinese boy is waiting and you two take off towards your favorite cafe. You guys order and slip into a booth when you get your drinks.

“What’s that you have in your hand?” He points down to the folded paper that’s still in your hand.

“Uh, something from Sana. She gave it to me before leaving.”

“What does it say?”

“I don’t know. I haven’t had time to read it.” You shrug before taking a sip of your drink. Minghao gestures to the paper like you should open it now so you do.

Written at the top in Sana’s messy handwriting is Reasons Why L/N Y/N is in Love with Lee Jihoon (And Why Lee Jihoon is in Love with L/N Y/N). Automatically you crumple the paper in your hands and throw it onto the table. Of course she would pull something like this.

Minghao reaches across the table to grab the paper and smooths it out before reading the title. He lets out a snort but continues to read down the list. He mutters his own comments as he continues reading it until he’s finished the whole thing. He then places the paper back onto the table and slides it towards you.

“There are some good points there.” That’s all he says before picking up his own drink and sitting back in his seat.

You glare at him but pick up the paper anyway.

Reasons Why L/N Y/N is in Love with Lee Jihoon (And Why Lee Jihoon is in Love with L/N Y/N)

1. You spend all of your time together and unless you guys are forced to be apart you guys aren’t

2. Jihoon spends more time at our apartment than his own despite paying rent for TWO rooms there

3. You cried in the club because you missed Jihoon so bad

4. Jihoon treats you completely different than all of his other friends, even Soonyoung and Seungcheol, his best friends (you are literally the only person who he allows to call him Hoonie)

5. You reject any man who tries to date you because you “don’t need a boyfriend when you have Jihoon”

6. You refuse to hook up with other men, even when you’re horny, because you and Jihoon have some weird agreement that you’ll only sleep with him

7. You have stated you like when Jihoon gets jealous when other men flirt with you

8. Jihoon gets jealous when other men flirt with you (even though you AREN’T dating)

9. You say you don’t have time to date anyone but you literally make free time in your busy schedule to hang out with Jihoon

10. You also claim you don’t have the effort to date someone, but you put a lot of effort into your “friendship” with Jihoon

11. You guys are domestic as FUCK (making dinner, going grocery shopping, having nights in together)

12. You call Jihoon the “perfect man” multiple times a week

13. Jihoon only lets you bother him while he’s in his studio working

14. You always go to Jihoon for everything, before anyone else, and you tell him more than you tell everyone else combined

15. Jihoon writes music about you

16. Jihoon goes out of his comfort zone and does things for only you that he would not do for anyone else

17. You know everything about each other, like a scary amount

18. Half the time you walk around wearing Jihoon’s clothes

19. Even when you’re not with Jihoon you wish you are and you’re still constantly thinking about him and texting him

20. He makes you happy (and you make him happy)

Babes…there’s plenty of more reasons why you guys are IN love with each other but these are some of the reasons I could think of off the top of my head. He makes you feel safe and cared for and cherished and protected and that’s something that is special. You are always on the top of the world when you’re with Jihoon. You say how you want to spend the rest of your life with him, so don’t let him slip away. I’m sorry for pressuring you about this but I just want you to fully get the love you deserve. 

You realize that the list revealed to Minghao that you and Jihoon have been sleeping together and you blush red. Minghao doesn’t look too surprised though, just smug. You sigh and put the paper down.

“This doesn’t prove anything Hao. It just shows that I love Jihoon, not that I’m in love with him.”

“Why are you so sure that you’re not in love with him?”

“Because he’s my best friend! We’ve been like this since freshman year. I can’t be in love with him Hao.”

“What are you afraid of?”

“Nothing, because I’m not in love with him Xu Minghao.”

“Fine. Let’s say you are in love with him, hypothetically, why wouldn’t you confess to him?”

You sigh but know your friend isn’t going to drop the conversation so you just give in and answer. “He’s… always busy, so am I. He’s never dated anyone before and I’m honestly not looking for anyone either. There’s a chance he wouldn’t like me back and it could ruin our friendship.” You were speaking in all hypotheticals, obviously, but it’s the same thing if you had a crush on anyone.

“You’re not looking to date someone, why?”

“Too many failed relationships from the past.”

“And?”

“I don’t have time!”

“And…” Minghao draws the word out to coerce you into saying what you know he’s waiting for.

“And because I have Jihoon. He’s everything a boyfriend is and better. And if I get a boyfriend I take time away from spending it with Jihoon. There? Are you happy? Because honestly this isn’t getting anywhere other than on my nerves.”

Minghao ignores the second half of your answer as his face lights up at your words. “Exactly! You’re not looking for a boyfriend because Jihoon is your boyfriend. Whether you both know it or not. The only thing keeping you from making it official is the fear of ruining the relationship, but it’s you and Jihoon, why would anything between you two get messed up?”

You know Minghao is right. Now about your feelings for Jihoon, but that nothing will get messed up between you two if anything did happen.

“You think your relationship with Jihoon isn’t anything special but that’s because you’re used to it. Have you felt this way with any of your other best friends?” The answer is no. “Stop holding back Y/N, it’s okay to love him, because he loves you too.”

You furrow your brow. Do you love Jihoon? He understands you on a level that nobody else is even close to reaching. You think about Jihoon all day and when something happens to you–good, bad, or in between–he’s the first person you want to tell. You can’t imagine your life without him and sometimes you wonder how you ever functioned before you knew him.

You want him by your side at all times and even if you’re doing something like reading your textbook, just having him near makes it better. You melt whenever he holds you and kisses you on your forehead. Every good memory you’ve had in the past three years, Jihoon has been there.

He takes up more than just a drawer over at your apartment and you guys have matching keychains on your keyrings. Whenever you have to go to bed without Jihoon by your side you sleep a little worse than usual. Even if you’re being totally insane, Jihoon will humor you, just because he likes to see you smile. Your phone background is your favorite pictures of Jihoon where he has flour in his hair and batter on his cheek from when you guys were making Seungcheol a cake for his birthday, a goofy smile spread across his face.

You even spend your summers together because you guys are from the same home town and he lives only a few blocks away from you. He’s the only person who can take your mind off of your worries and you’re the only person who can pull him away from his studio to take a break.

You love your friends but you would be completely wrecked if you lost Jihoon, in a way you wouldn’t be for anyone else. You wouldn’t be able to function. You don’t like the idea of Jihoon flirting with other girls, let alone dating anyone else, because nobody is good enough for him. You can’t even picture yourself dating someone else because all you can think about is Jihoon being by your side instead.

Whenever you think about your future, he’s there. You guys will live together in an apartment, and will own a dog, and he’ll be some big name music producer while you’re working with famous modeling companies. You’ll insist on having houseplants that Jihoon inevitably will take care of because you can’t keep a plant alive at all. You guys may or may not still be sleeping together but at that point it’s not hooking up anymore and it’s more or less soft, sweet sex at the end of a long week.

Jihoon is littered in your life at every turn and even if you wanted to get rid of him, you can’t, but you could never fathom wanting to get rid of him. The smell of his cologne is stuck in your sheets, his clothes take up half of your closet, your playlists have dozens of songs produced by Woozi, and his favorite foods take up space in your cupboards. Everything you see reminds him of you, even if it is something as simple as a red pen (his favorite color). Whenever you run into someone they always ask where Jihoon is, because you guys are rarely far from one another, and you always answer because you always know what he’s up to.

He’s your rock, anchor, and muse, and you could never replace him or replicate what you have with him with anyone else. He’s the most supportive person in your life and he is the only person you trust with every aspect of your being. He always knows what to do to make you feel better. Staying at home and watching a movie together is just as special as going on a big outing together. Whenever your whole friend group hangs out you’re still stuck to Jihoon’s side the whole time. You always check in on him and he always checks in on you. You guys take care of each other and at the end of the day, your life feels complete if you get to lay your head next to his.

“I’m in love with Jihoon.”

Minghao snorts from across the table. “Yeah it’s about time.”

“Oh shut you,” you mutter. You chew at your bottom lip and furrow your eyebrows. “Does he love me back?”

“Are you stupid? Of course he loves you back!”

You look up at your friend who’s staring at you incredulously. “What do I do Hao?”

“You tell him.” Minghao’s eyes are soft around the edges, he’s happy that you’re finally going to receive the love you deserve.

You stand up suddenly. “I have to go. Thank you…so, so much Hao! I’ll keep you updated!” You go to leave but round back to give Minghao a hug before running off. You run the whole way back to your apartment and you’re out of breath by the time you get back into your unit.

“Y/N? Is that you?” Sana is popping her head out of her room to see you trying to catch your breath.

When you see her you stand up straight and your eyes light up. You’re briskly walking over to her room. You notice the phone and bowl of fruit on her desk, but don’t pay it much mind as you have important information to tell the girl. “Sana! I’m in love with Jihoon.”

“I know.” Her words don’t come out cocky though, rather amused, and she has a wide grin spread across her face. “You finally figured it out, huh?”

“Yes! All thanks to you, well also a lot to Minghao, but thank you. I’m so sorry for how I treated you earlier.”

“You know you’re a lot calmer than I thought you would be. I thought you’d be all ‘oh my god I can’t believe I’m in love with my best friend, this is so much to take in’ and all of that,” Sana tells you.

“I mean, it is a lot to take in,” you chuckle lightly, “but it’s not like, overwhelming or anything. It’s just Jihoon. We’re…us! Y/N and Jihoon. I guess I’ve been in love with him for a long time so not much will change, you know.”

“There’s my smart girl.” Sana pulls you into a hug and you laugh and hold her back.

“All that's left to do is tell him."

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[taylorkellyreporting]

i hope no one minds if i liveblog this bitch: hsmtmts 2x01-2x12

gina saying ‘i’m gonna make my mark’ while walking through nini and ricky, causing them to break their handhold…yeah.

poor gina, she likes ricky so much

that was harsh, ricky didn’t deserve that.

oh my God, nini’s ‘team kourt’ pullover is so cute

blondie has a great voice but she’s a shit person, i have to say

kourt, ash and gina did so good but i kinda wish ashs voice wasn’t at the forefront

i officially hate blondie, how dare her laugh at big red falling???

ashlyn as belle my beloved <3

I KNEW SHE WAS A SPY

the hearts on nini’s face, aw

lmfaoooo he’s in denver

‘…i’m taking it in stride’ ‘you’re dressed in all black’ pls

big red saying valentine’s day is centered around the color red so he should have it on lock and pointing to his hair was hilarious i love him

ricky definitely has some buried feelings for gina cause there’s no other reason why their scenes are now slightly awkward in that cute way it is when characters have mutual feelings for each other and don’t know how to act esp when one half is in a relationship 🤭

‘there are just some things i tell you that i don’t tell anybody else’ ‘i think we do that for each other’ who else is doing it like them? definitely not rini lmao

not ricky shushing gina cause nini’s calling??? now why would he do that if he didn’t feel slightly guilty for hanging out with her? emotionally cheating ricky we love you🫂

big red and ashlyn are so adorable together

GOD RICKY AND THE CHOCOLATES, I CANT BREATHE

the way ricky immediately sent that text to gina, he’s so fucking obvious 😭

‘love you, mom!’ seb is so cute

kourt as lead when??

ricky’s fucking face when he sees nini’s voicemail and gina’s text 😭

reds song was saurrr cute

ricky’s down so bad, gina didn’t even say anything funny and he immediately lost it

‘what, do i need to send you a random box of chocolates to prove it? 😏’ gina is literally the only one so far who brings out ricky’s flirty side

‘i go big, gina. you know that.’ GOD

kinda wanna throw hands with mr mazzara for being there for ej but not willing to be there for ricky earlier

need someone to notice something’s wrong with gina and hug her

is gina leaving again? kinda getting that vibe

gina’s performance was AMAZING

WOW i think that’s genuinely the best cover of ‘the climb’ i’ve ever heard

‘i’ve never been accused of being speechless’ 🫂

oh wow, they stole their beauty and the beast idea

‘i’m ready to come home’

‘what would you ask your future self?’ ‘trick question, gaston’s dead!’ he’s not wrong 😭

ricky’s allergic to change and it’s definitely his parents fault

‘i wouldn’t quit on us, if i wasn’t moving away’

‘nini’s back and…he’s so happy now’ SHE DESERVES TO BE HAPPY, TOO!!!!

espionage 😭😭

gina finally got a hug 🥹

ricky saying he’d ask if the beast and belle were still together in the future + nini writing that song…yeah, they were built to fall apart

‘oh my God, is your phone hungry?!’ lmfaoooo

‘do you really think they’d steal from us?’ ‘i would :D’ pls?? gina’s so funny 😭

‘if you leave me unsupervised with their costumes i cannot promise i won’t go all gina 1.0 in there’ lmfao i love her

the way i gasped in sync with everyone else when that kid called the costume fugly 😭

ricky and nini is the worst relationship on the show

OH MY GOD???

okay, i did NOT see howie being the beast coming

‘miss jen, we didn’t break anything’ ‘would you like me to be the first?’ miss jen said her hands are rated E for everyone

‘keep our heads down and our chins up’ ‘i don’t think that’s physically possible’ ‘it’s an expression, sebastian!’ she’s so done with him 😭

rini needs to end, they aren’t good together at all

i already hate ej’s dad, he sounds so full of himself and he’s only said a few words lmao

kourt’s mom is the best parent on the show i fear

damn, all the relationships are imploding this ep

i would’ve preferred gina and ej just being friends tbh

i feel bad for nini and ricky of course, but their relationship was not it

okayyyy an andi mack reunion!! i’m here for it!

i love the song and video they made, i just wish ricky was there, too

gina is so damn shippable cause why am i here thinking her and jack would be cute together

ricky’s song is so good

ej showing up at the airport…ricky should’ve ran into gina there on his way home and they should’ve taken an uber together or something

‘i think i may have played troy at one point’ pls 😭

lily’s incredibly annoying

seblos 🥹

oh fuck, ricky fell 😭

the musical is really good

A BIG BROTHER FIGURE, I’M CRYING

lily stole the harness, didn’t she?

well.

‘i’ve always seen your name in lights’ oh my God, they’re so cute!!!

why can’t gina ever just be happy?!?

Gina and nini’s friendship (i use that word loosely lmao) is cute

nini being more upset about her and gina than ricky and gina…she doesn’t give a fuck about him dkgjfjs

oh wow, gina’s definitely gonna introduce nini to her brother

‘are you happy?’ miss jen is already better than both of ricky’s parents just by asking that simple question

i’m so glad they dropped out

oh brother

the cast performing you are the music in me 🫶🏻🥹

aww, olivia crying 🥺

that’s a wrap on s2 and if you made it to the end of this lb, pat yourself on the back lmfao

[stuckinapril]

hey girl… may I ask for advice? sorry to dump this on you, feel free to ignore of course! I just don‘t know where to put this right now and it‘s been eating at me for the past two months

I met a guy around 8 months ago and we instantly connected really intensely and even fell in love in a really short amount of time (obviously all of that was based on very brief interactions and didn‘t have anything to do with actual love but it was still nice and i felt like something could grow from it), however due to our personal circumstances we decided to be friends. The last time I saw him was 7 months ago. We ended up making out that night. The next morning he made it very clear he didnt want a relationship and i didn’t either. We kept texting every day and i asked to see him again but when we finally managed to find a day to hang out he would cancel the same day because he wasn‘t feeling well mentally (which I would never judge or question because I have my bad weeks too) but this happened like 5-6 times and I felt like he just didnt want to see me again, or at least it wasn’t important to him right now. I involuntarily pulled back from our texting relationship over the summer because of work but still it was always me except for one time who was asking to hang out. Then I started actually pulling back because I was hurt from him rejecting me all the time. At this point it’s not even just about the romantic feelings, I feel like we’re not even friends anymore. I feel stuck, I feel myself wanting to pull back and I feel stupid when he rejects me being nice to him (we always tease each other but he used to be more caring and accept care from me too). I want to be there for him and let him know that I‘m not going anywhere (because i’m not, i want him in my life) but at the same time i notice myself falling into an obsession because of him being so inconsisent. Do you think I can take a step back without losing him and abandoning our friendship entirely? I don‘t want to make a big thing out of it because I know he‘s been very busy working but then again it‘s not too much to want to see him once in 7 months and I made time for him when i was drowning in work. I wonder what happened or what has changed for him. I just don‘t know where to put all of this care that I have for him

reading your ask gave me deja vu bc i went through every single phase you’re describing w my ex. hell, i was going through it as late as october. your feelings are valid. your feelings are really valid and raw and i deeply relate to every single thing you’re saying. but that’s why i need to bluntly tell you—there is no future friendship (or relationship, for that matter) to be maintained with this man. just trust me on this. i went through the “maybe we could be friends!!” phase too. i so badly wanted him to stay in my life too. it didn’t work. it won’t work for you either. you need to go no contact. absolutely cut him out of your life. you will not move on any other way.

how do i know this? bc that’s the only thing that really, truly helped me. you’re going to feel withdrawals at first. it’s literally like a dopamine fix. the moment you remove him from your life, the chemicals in your brain will go crazy. they so badly crave the presence of this person. but is what he’s giving you even a presence? y’all have literally not seen each other for 7 months. imagine all the other guys you could have met in that time. imagine the opportunities lost. 7 billion people in this world, and you’re stuck fixating on this person who’s giving you breadcrumbs. literal breadcrumbs. it’s seriously time to consider you.

but this is not sustainable. it’s damaging. it’s hard to believe, but this man is neither the cause nor the solution to your pain. even if he were prevalent in your life, this would not fix the root issue—which is that so much of your happiness is attached to this person. you’re dependent on him. you can’t need a person. you can want them, but you can never need them. you need to detach and find yourself. that’s what i had to do as well. back when i was going through the thick of my breakup, it seemed crazy to me not to have him in my life. i genuinely thought he enriched it. but if he was truly the only source of enrichment, did that mean i was living a full life to begin with? a person shouldn’t be the only reason i find my days exciting. i should be the only one responsible for my emotions—and if a person walks out, i should be fine. it shouldn’t consume me. that’s not healthy. that’s a problem.

i reiterate: it wouldn’t even matter if he was the best companion you could’ve asked for. the simple fact of the matter is you’re relying way, way too much on another person for happiness and fulfillment. this is something you need to go through alone.

you need to cut him off. i was in denial about this too. you may be for a while as well. but all keeping him in your life, in any capacity, will do is hurt you. this is not the behavior of a man who cares or wants to be helped. and people simply can’t be fixed. only they can give themselves the permission to be better. your only option—for the sake of you—is to walk out, endure the pain, grow from it, and fulfill yourself without needing someone else. i swear. i have been there so many times. that’s the only thing that will help.

[echo-rambles]

the beginning of a future!changjin fic I might never finish

-o0o-

The one thing about spending half of your life tucked into the back pockets of the same people day in and day out, is that even when you no longer occupy the same space, you find it a little bit impossible to go about your daily life without them. 

It’s a little bit like having a constant empty spot wherever you go. It’s not gigantic and it doesn’t always catch your attention, but sometimes you have to stop what you’re doing and just sort of recognize that there’s a space next to you where someone used to stand. Sometimes you need to fill the empty space and remember what it’s like to have someone just sort of exist with you. 

Which is why Changbin is sitting in his studio, tapping away at his computer with Jisung on call in his periphery. Neither one of them has said a word in the last twenty minutes, the call filled mostly with quiet hums or noises of acknowledgement. At one point, he heard Minho in the background, talking about dinner and even cheekily asking Changbin if he’d like any. 

Changbin had whined, a lot, because he can’t remember the last time he had a meal cooked by Minho. It’s special in a way he’ll never be able to explain to anyone who hasn’t experienced it. If you haven’t been kicked out of the kitchen by Minho, or sat cramped between two of your closest friends and bickered over who has more on their plate, or helped him do the dishes after, you simply won’t understand. 

Now they’re back to silence. If he listens, he can hear the sound of Jisung’s own typing. It’s relaxing and familiar, like white noise. It helps him work.

There’s a track laid out in front of him, nowhere close to finished, but he’s been making steady progress in the last few hours with the presence of Jisung. It reminds him a little bit of when they were younger, the three of them sitting around a small studio working on their own sections of a project. 

“Hey, did you see the group chat?” Jisung asks suddenly, gently breaking the silence. 

“Mm? About Felix being in France or something?”

“Ah, no. About Hyunjin. Flying into Gimpo.”

“When?” Changbin doesn’t mean to be so loud, but it’s sort of his default. Especially when he’s been caught off guard. 

A pause. “When was the message sent or when is he getting in?”

“Both- either.” He snatches his phone up and fumbles to unlock it. Thankfully he’s alone and no one witnesses how the simple act of jamming in his passcode eludes him on the first try. 

He has to scroll up, but not too far. Past some well wishes and Jeongin sharing a selfie of himself in some European cafe, there, Hyunjin’s message. It’s simple and to the point, and it makes something in Changbin’s chest buzz. 

He was meant to land- Changbin checks the time. An hour ago. 

Hyunjin is here, in Seoul. On Korean soil for the first time in- too long. A few months. 

It feels like there's helium filling his lungs and Changbin has the sudden urge to drop everything and leave. Ask Hyunjin which hotel he's staying at so he can see him, right now.

“How did I not see this?” Changbin mutters, mostly to himself.

“When was the last time you were on your phone?” Jisung counters from the laptop speakers.

“Ok. Fair. But I’ve been busy.” 

“Yeah well, you saw it now."

"An hour too late!"

"Technically he sent it yesterday."

"You're lucky you're in Osaka right now and not in front of me."

"Sorry."

-

Changbin spends twenty minutes after hanging up with Jisung chewing at his thumbnail and trying to decide if he should text Hyunjin. What even would he text him?

I'm sorry we haven't spoken in months and have barely even seen each other in literal actual years, but do you want to get lunch?

God, no. Absolutely not. But if he's too casual about it, will Hyunjin worry that Changbin doesn't actually care about all the time they haven't been speaking?

Thankfully, Hyunjin takes the decision out of his hands. Multiple text messages ping through as he's staring at his phonescreen, and seeing Hyunjin's name immediately makes him feel a thousand times lighter.

>one a scale of 1-10 how busy are you rn? >please say 1 >or zero! >anything below a 5 is acceptable

Currently Changbin is sitting at a solid 8.9. But it's Hyunjin asking.

<I'm never too busy for you~

[stevensaus]

What I Learned From Being Sucker-Punched By A Brain Weasel

"You've been dating me long enough," he told her during an argument. "You shouldn't still be insecure about me." I heard about the argument secondhand, but that was almost enough to make me almost spit my drink onto my monitor. "That's not how that works," I typed back to her. "That's not how that works at all." I should have realized that was the universe doing its version of Chekov's gun. Because within twenty-four hours, I was going to be attacked by a vicious brain weasel. And I want to tell you about it. While the story includes my polyamorous relationship style, I think the principles used in the story still apply whether you're monogamous, polyamorous, or however you do your relationship(s). Heck, it applies to any kind of relationship where jealousy or envy can appear. Personal, romantic, even professional business relationships can spawn brain weasels. Brain weasels can even spawn without the other person doing anything. I've had brain weasels because I thought - with no evidence, mind you - that a partner would reject me if they knew the state of my finances. I wish I'd known all this back then. And so I share this story with you, hoping that it will help you with your brain weasels... and help me remember this when dealing with my own. Opening Cut Scene I've been polyamorous to some degree for almost a decade. I wrote "Compersion: The Skill You Absolutely Need In Your Relationship(s)" almost exactly seven years ago, and still stand behind that post, no matter what kind of relationship you have. I've been writing about brain weasels for almost as long. If there is anybody who should NOT be blindsided by uncomfortable emotions when a partner goes out on a date, you'd think it would be me. I certainly thought so. That was, until I found myself unable to concentrate while my long-distance girlfriend was on a date with someone else. The Spawn Point To be clear: Having partners go on dates with other people is something that I am used to. Hell, I specifically encouraged her to go on this date. I was thrilled at how excited she was beforehand. But the brain weasel that crawled out of my brainstem was a big one. It had "she'll like them more" tattooed across the knuckles of one paw, and "she won't have time for you" across the knuckles of another. I don't even know if weasels actually have knuckles, but you get the idea. I'm still not sure why, exactly, that brain weasel spawned then. She did nothing wrong; she actually went out of her way to make sure I was okay beforehand, and did everything I'd asked her to do. All the things I thought would be enough to deal with any brain weasel like that. It'd always worked before. But with all my experience, with my unusually compersion-focused personality, I still found it there, chittering away in my brain. The Mythos Of The Weasel There's a bunch of possible reasons why it showed up. Pretty much everybody I know was busy that night one way or another, so I couldn't hang out with (or even really talk to) folks to get support. The barometric pressure was changing, which I've noticed also messes with my mood. With her being long-distance, it's harder to reconnect, so there's more space for a weasel to lurk. And since she's further away, I don't get to see her as often, and I'm definitely envious of that. And on top of that, there's the literal decades of programming that have worn a groove in my brain. Our society has some really messed up ideas of what brain weasels - and both jealousy and envy (they're different) - signify. We are told that having those feelings means that relationship is important. We're told those feelings mean we must immediately act, and dramatically so. I ended up texting a friend: I have decades of being strongly imprinted on the mythos of John Hughes movies and romcoms that says this feeling means I need to drive across several states RIGHT NOW or carry her out of her workplace or hold a boombox or a bunch of posterboard-written messages outside her home RIGHT NOW or else I'll lose her forever, because that's how that myth goes. I caught this brain weasel whispering all of those toxic rom-com fueled misconceptions in my ear, and was caught completely unprepared. Brain Weasel Wrangling All my experience did help. First, I know a lot of the practical advice for dealing with this sort of envy and jealousy. Try to focus on something else. Treat yourself a little bit. Indulge in something nice that you don't normally do. (I got pancakes with lots of syrup.) Do self-care that you know will make you feel better. (I played some video games that usually help me refocus when my mood is crap.) And if you have friends or a support network, reach out to them (which I did), and don't bother the partner until after the date. Second, I know that "I feel anxious about this relationship, therefore it's more important" is an absolutely toxic way to think about relationships. I already knew she's important to me, and knew that she'd gone out of her way to make sure I was okay before the date, which actually demonstrated how important I am to her as well. The friend I texted knows that I deal better with emotions when I view them from an academic viewpoint, so they got me to re-explain all this in text, firmly kicking me into "academic" mode, which also helped a lot. Once I started looking at it academically, it was obvious that my feelings were not about her at all - they were my insecurities. Once I was able to recognize that, I could identify the feeling, and just observe and feel it without getting lost in the feeling. That sounds like some kind of esoteric meditation practice that requires sitting somewhere saying a mantra and lighting incense. But you've almost certainly felt something like it while watching a crappy movie. Imagine you're watching a mediocre movie that you don't really care about, with unsympathetic cardboard cut-outs of characters, and a plot that's a mad libs of TVTropes. (I'm looking at you, Jurassic World: Dominion.) Suddenly, the music grows in a giant deafening orchestral swell, and for half a second, even though you do not care about the movie at all, you catch yourself with goosebumps, or feel a tightness in your throat, or a shiver of dread, or your eyes water up. Your body reacts to the music. For half a second, your nervous system goes "OH THIS IS THE PART" and the music evokes that emotion. At least until you remember -- a second later -- that you're watching a movie whose plot is about as simple as a porno, except instead of the "plot" being an excuse for naked bodies, the "plot" is an excuse for CGI dinosaurs beating the crap out of each other. But you're still there with that feeling the music evoked...and knowing there is absolutely no reason other than the music for you to have that feeling. But it's still there, and almost more annoying because you know that you have no reason to feel it. That is what it's like. So I sat with that for a while, until she got home from the date and gave me a call. The Ensquishening It is ... unpleasant ... sitting with that feeling. Like when the other person in a conversation doesn't respond at all to something you said. Or when the little wiggly "typing" dots appear, then disappear, then appear, then go away again. That's the kind of space that brain weasels really thrive in. So I was very glad she was able to give me a call afterward. She picked up on how I was feeling pretty quickly. I'm not great at hiding my feelings, and I was only trying to hide them long enough that she had a chance to share her excitement about her evening before I shared what had been going on in my head. "So I've been having an irrational fear," I told her. "And I know that it's irrational, because it hit me out of nowhere, and I want to stress that you have done nothing wrong. I just suddenly started having this fear that it would just be easier for you to spend time with someone closer than me, and that I'd end up getting pushed to the side just because it's harder for us to see each other in person." I was not quite that coherent in real life. It came out in a jumbled rush of clauses tripping over themselves as they spilled out. But somehow, I got the point across. I heard her gasp of surprise and horror when she realized that I'd been hurting, followed by her immediately saying that she heard my concern, and it was something she absolutely was also concerned about. That, no matter how nice of a time she had that evening - or in evenings to come - that I was important, and that she wanted to make sure that my emotional needs were addressed the best we could manage long distance. I did my part by pulling that brain weasel out into the open, and she did her part, confirming that my fears were unfounded and, more importantly, that we shared the same goals and concerns. And squish went the brain weasel. Mid-Credits Stinger Scene There's three reasons why I wanted to tell this story to all of you. The first is to show that experience - let alone "length of relationship" - has nothing to do with whether or not you get brain weasels. That brain weasels tend to show up where and when you are not expecting them. And in addition, that experience is not the only predictor of how well someone will be able to handle a brain weasel, whether their own or a partner's. She did amazing responding to my brain weasel, and has been doing all this a lot shorter time than I have. The second is to try to give you an idea of what brain weasels feel like, and emotionally how to handle them. The movie soundtrack analogy is not perfect, but it is pretty darn close. Even when you realize that something is a brain weasel, you will still have a reaction, whether you want to or not. It's worth re-emphasizing: YOU WILL STILL EXPERIENCE THE BRAIN WEASEL, EVEN IF YOU KNOW IT IS JUST A BRAIN WEASEL. Simply labeling a brain weasel inside your own head is not enough. This is why the third reason is so important. The third is to show exactly what the process of brain weasel squishing should look like. It isn't always smooth. There will be emotional discomfort (or worse). But the steps and process look the same, no matter what your relationship(s) look like, or what the brain weasel claims that it's about. And the key to that process is that the brain weasel is brought out into the open, as soon as possible. It does not matter how "experienced" or "aware" you are, or how high your "emotional IQ" is. Trying to hunt your own brain weasels by yourself is a fool's errand. The times I've seen someone try - or that I've been the person trying to do it myself - the brain weasel just gets larger and larger. Eventually, the small and relatively manageable weasel becomes a looming, inescapable agent of doom. It can become large enough that it makes people think there's no point in trying to resolve the weasel, or that they know exactly how someone will react when their fears finally slip out. When brain weasels are allowed to thrive in silence, they end up making you spiral, and become their own self-fulfilling prophecy. But when you share your fears and worries with partner(s) that love you and care about you, the brain weasels go squish, just like a monster in a bad, forgettable movie. As always, please note my artistic license policy; I have not only obfuscated identities, but I have obtained consent to share the obfuscated details of the story. Featured Image by Trond Giæver Myhre from Pixabay Read the full article

[bratz-kitten]

ASTRO OBSERVATIONS [part 5]

— people with jupiter in the 8th may experience an “abundance” of traumatic experiences throughout life, often relating to death; these are the people who truly feel like everyone they love ends up dying. at their worst, they can become desensitized to death— jupiter is ruled by sagittarius, a sign known for being in denial when in difficult situations in favor of optimism. these natives can pretend like nothing actually happened, or minimize the situation in their head so that they don’t have to face it.

— okay this might be a weird one... like, you know in asoiaf when arya was walking through the streets and was always like “i’m as quiet as a shadow”? that’s literally the energy of someone with planets in the 12th house/chart ruler in the 12th house. these people are so stealthy. they’re able to move so quietly and without anyone noticing, both literally and figuratively. on one hand, they’re very quiet about their plans and ambitions to the point where other people only find out when they’re achieving success over it; on the other hand, they just. don’t like making noise while walking idk bitch you’ll only see me coming when i’m right beside you, i even get paranoid that i’m breathing too loud and that other people will hear 

— people with moon aspecting mars can be incredibly impulsive when they feel hurt or triggered. yall need to be careful with doing things in the heat of the moment that you know you’ll regret later... but in the moment, you feel so hurt that it clouds your rational side. please be more self-aware about this because you may make decisions that will directly affect you for the worse in the future 

— people with leo mars ft. constantly asking you for pictures... about anything. they just wanna SEE LMFAO THEY DON’T CARE WHAT IT IS THEY’RE SEEING. you just got ready to go out? “send pics of your makeup and your full outfit”. you’re waiting in a long boring line to get the covid vaccine? “send pics of the line”. your mom baked cake? “send pics of the cake”. plus they send so many random pictures while texting, it’s their special love language

— having moon conjunct moon/venus in synastry feels insane. you tell them something you’ve been through, and they’re immediately like “that happened with me as well.” it doesn’t even have to be something grand, sometimes just very specific things you thought were particular about you. the amount of understanding that comes with this aspect in synastry can feel very new and intense especially if you’re used to seeing yourself as the “odd one out”, used to feeling isolated in your experiences 

— people with pluto in the 1st house often feel the need to erase “traces” of their existence, for example deleting messages that they sent people, deleting all of their social media posts. they can feel anxious and paranoid about other people having access to their past self, even if the past self in question is from, like. a week ago 

— people with chiron in the water houses (4th/8th/12th) might’ve suffered bullying to the point where they repress their memories. a lot of their memories of their school years may feel foggy if they were bullied in those years

— also. people with chiron in the 8th house may feel as though they’ve been punished for wanting to experience intimacy. it’s like, the people who were supposed to be the closest to them – for example, their sibling or something – were the ones who hurt them the most. 

— people with mercury-neptune aspects and strong pisces/neptune energy in their birth chart might struggle with only remembering things when they’re right in front of them. you should keep things in your peripheral vision to remind you of reality, especially when it comes to feelings— so that you won’t start getting lost inside your own head. like... keep the letters your friends wrote you by your bedside table so you can read them every time your brain starts convincing you that you’re not loved. keep the gifts you’ve been sent on display in your bedroom wall, or sentimental material things that remind you of past happy experiences.

— earth placements and their thing for asmr... omfg. it’s like they’re always looking for things to up their sensory experience/sensitivity. like, earth signs are the ones most connected to worldly experiences so they feel so soothed with the whole asmr experience: just hearing someone gently whispering or tapping on/scratching things calms them down and helps them fall asleep. they love the tingles it’s heaven for them

— moon-saturn aspects might hold and caress themselves while they sleep because their parents never did. yes i woke up and chose violence <3 your secret is NOT safe with me 💋

— while we’re on the topic of sleeping, a majority of the pisces moons i know need to sleep while hugging something, at least a pillow. they can’t just not hug something while they sleep, it’s very instinctive for them. anyways if any pisces moon needs a pillow to hold, i volunteer as tribute 💋

— virgo placements feel sososo soothed by hearing their cats purr. thinking about how my virgo placement friends are always the ones who send me videos of them petting their cats... and then i get soothed by how soothed they feel. it’s a win win situation, if you have virgo placements it’s hereby your duty to send me a video of you petting your cat while they purr. right now. GO

— people with gemini in the 3rd house might have shaky movements of the hands when other people look at them doing things. very specific i know but the third house rules hands and gemini is a sign that has somewhat of an anxious, twitchy quality to it. on the other hand, people with capricorn in the 3rd house (scorpio risings, using whole signs) have the steadiest hands i’ve ever seen lol their movements ooze confidence, these bitches know how to make you feel as thought they know exactly what they’re doing

— people with venus in the 1st house ft. altering their pics with photoshop and hating posting selfies without filters because they never feel like their appearance is good enough. stop it. you don’t need to always look your best and especially not if your ‘best’ isn’t even what you actually look like. also... don’t even think about making self-deprecative jokes about your appearance. next time i find one of yall saying “ahaha im not bad for a 5 without talent” i’m squishing your head between 2 pieces of toast and calling you an idiot sandwich. you’re BEAUTIFUL 

— having venus in the 3rd house in composite with someone? do you mean calling each other the absolute ugliest nicknames in the most endearing way? 

— leo deals with themes of the ego, and it seems that leo placements often struggle with attracting narcissistic people into their life... leo suns/mercuries can be raised by loud, overbearing, narcissistic parents who see their kid as an extension of themselves and who teach the kid to always be very supportive and caring towards them or else they’ll deny them of words of affirmation-- either by insulting them to shatter their self-esteem or simply never complimenting the kid back. leo moons/mars/venus tend to attract narcissistic partners who only care about serving their own emotional needs and ignore the ones of their partner, and who feed off of their supportive and giving nature. which is why leo placements really need to watch out for being gullible, naïve and dismissing the red flags because my god, you be falling for some shady people. 

— people with personal planets in the 12th house/chart ruler in the 12th house might feel like they can’t let go of their past life— they may dream of memories, people or places from another life. it’s like they can’t detach from it, and even if they can’t directly remember their past life, it’s like they feel it in their bones. also, they might’ve felt... estranged from their family ever since childhood; there may have been feelings of being unable to emotionally connect to their (often, distant) parents, and they might’ve even wondered if they were adopted because of how different they felt to the rest of the family. 

— okay so, a thing that people with saturn in the 3rd house need to look out for is mentally checking out of conversations while they’re still happening. these people can detect when they’re being manipulated really fast and their way of dealing with it can be to immediately shut down, to grow cold and silent and not even bother answering when you’re expected to respond. and, like, that’s great when someone starts screaming at you or being insulting/trying to coerce you into shit, but take notice if you find yourself shutting your loved ones out as soon as they say anything that triggers you. don’t simply detach from them, communicate what’s wrong

— aries placements, ESPECIALLY aries suns and moons, value generosity so much and they get so turned off by stingy ppl who don’t share with others, especially when others need it. like.. if you’re hanging out in a group with them and someone asks for a bite of your food because they have no money and you say no... espect them to never respect you. ever. 

— people with libra placements use soooo many adjectives to describe things. something can’t just be beautiful, it has to be DIVINE and CELESTIAL and INTOXICATING. they can be so expressive god it’s so fcking funny 

— capricorn placements HATE asking others for advice because they think no one knows better than them (and they’re not wrong, lol). when they truly care for someone, they might ask the person for advice simply as a sign that they respect, trust and value their judgement. even if they don’t plan on taking it LMFAO 

— people with mars in a water sign can have this terrible habit of expecting other people to guess what they want. and then they get passive agressive when you don’t instinctively feel what it is they want... and when you ask them “do you want this?”, they go like “FINALLY. i thought you’d never get there”. stop it. i know that you want people to understand you in a way that transcends words, but you can’t expect people to read your mind and then get disappointed when they don’t, thinking “oh if they loved me that much then they would’ve known that i really want chipotle for dinner :(” GIRL WHAT. COMMUNICATE YOUR NEEDS